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rikumorimachisgirl · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Seal the Deal

Characters: Bokuto x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,848

Author's note: So, I haven't written in a long time and I know I'm kinda rusty. Please bear with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! and the characters, but I own the plot for this fic.

'Congratulations! You have been selected as one of the winners in the Bouncing Ball Corp's Monster Generation giveaway. A limited-edition Nendoroid and a special surprise will arrive at your delivery address. Please confirm if you are available to receive this tomorrow by responding to this message. Thank you.'

You must've read the text message over a hundred times in the last twenty-four hours, but it still made your heart skip a beat. Setting your phone down, you stood up and tried to straighten up the flat that you had just moved into last month. It wasn't much - a cozy one-bedroom apartment with a small living area, which usually doubled as your dining area on days when you could eat a nice meal at home. It certainly was a far cry from the lavish three-bedroom apartment you once shared with your ex-boyfriend, but at least it was easier to clean.

Your ex-boyfriend - the wild, and oh-so-adorable big baby you'd loved since high school, the same one who broke your heart a few months back when he couldn't choose between you and the sport he loves, and the reason you sent in several entries to the Bouncing Ball Corp's giveaway. You sighed. If your friends found out you'd won a limited edition Nendoroid of that same person they had worked so hard to help you get over, you knew you'd be done for. But how exactly does one get over the sweet summer storm that is Kotaro Bokuto? And besides, you thought, at least a Nendoroid won't leave you unless you throw it out.

** Ding-dong **

The sound of your doorbell snapped you back to your senses. "Just a minute," you called out as you quickly tied your hair and hurried to the door in an oversized sweater and shorts. You could feel your heart beat faster at the thought that your precious Nendoroid was within reach. 'Oh, and the text message said there was a special surprise, too,' you thought quietly. Maybe, if you were lucky, you'll also get his signed jersey. That wouldn't be so bad, you thought again as you unlocked the door and pulled it open.

You gasped, as the person waiting right outside the door greeted you with the warmest smile and his signature line.

"Hey, hey, he -," he paused halfway through upon seeing you. "Y/N-chan?"

Hearing him say your name almost made you cry. You had missed how he always managed to make it sound so beautiful. You also missed his naughty smirk that usually came with calling your name. As you gazed at your reflection in his golden eyes, you wondered if - like you - this beautiful man thought of you, too. You had no idea how long you've been looking at each other, but it wasn't until you heard your neighbor's baby crying that you both shook yourselves out of your reverie.

"Oh, uh. Did you need anything?" You asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Yes, I'm here to personally deliver the prize from Kenma. Kuroo asked to go, and this was the address he gave��," your ex-boyfriend said as he fumbled over his phone, looking for the exact message his friend has given. Glancing back and forth his phone and the number on the door, he scratched the back of his head. "See, it says 2404 -"

"Yes, Bokuto-san, I won the contest," you finally admitted, as you felt a blush slowly creep up your cheeks.

"You did?" He flashed you a dazzling smile, his eyes sparkled and you looked away. When he noticed your eyes move to the paper bag he was carrying, he cleared his throat. "Uh… yeah, this is for you…"

"Uh, thanks," you replied shyly, as you took the paper bag containing the Nendoroid of the very same person you were talking to now. Your gaze darted from his handsome face to the suddenly empty hall outside your flat, and you could tell he was feeling just as awkward. "So, uh…"

"So, uh, this is where you moved to?" He asked as he took a step forward to peek inside your humble abode.

"Uh-huh," you replied. "I-I'd invite you in, but…"

"Don't mind if I do," he said, stepping inside your pad. Even with his back facing you, you could tell that he was surveying your space, and you felt more and more flustered by the minute. "You have a microwave. I need to get me one of those."

"You have a microwave, Bokuto-san. It's top-of-the-line, and it was working fine when I moved out," you quipped, as you watched him from behind.

"Was it? Then I must've destroyed it the other day when I tried to use it to heat water," he said casually, as he looked around your pad some more.

"Your couch looks comfortable. I should probably buy one for my bedroom."

"What's wrong with the sectional? If I remember correctly, you had it customized by Fendi," you retorted.

"Did I? There must've been a reason I did, but I can't remember," he muttered, turning his attention to the wall. "Oh, this is a nice painting. I need one of these."

"That's just a painting I bought at a trift shop," you said, cocking an eyebrow at your tall ex-lover. "You have original Murukamis on your walls, Bokuto-san. We bought three of them in the fundraiser that Kuroo hosted."

"Oh. Of course," he sighed. "It's just that… well, your place is -"

"Small?"

"No, it's not that," he responded, as he gazed upward as if trying to find the right word.

"Tiny? Minuscule? Compact?"

"Hey, those all mean the same thing," he whined before plopping down on your couch. You quietly watched as he leaned back and stretched out his legs, trying hard not to bump the coffee table, but he still managed to do so. Something about the scene before you were so endearing, you found yourself smiling before you could stop yourself. And right about that time, your dashing ex-lover happened to look at you and smile back. Lifting his hand out to you, he said, "I'm just saying your new place sorta gives off a certain kind of vibe, you know."

Raising an eyebrow, you stared at his hand and thought twice about taking it. It wasn't like you never held hands before, but now that you've broken up, it all seems so weird.

But you wanted to take it. Oh, how you've imagined holding his hand a thousand times since you broke up, so just before he pulled away, you moved forward to grab it, and fell on his lap in the process. As you struggled to stand up, the dashing MSBY Outside Hitter put his arm around your waist to keep you from budging. "Ah, now this scene looks awfully familiar."

"Stop it, Bokuto-san," you said, hitting him on the chest so he could loosen his grip on you a little bit.

"Oh, but don't you think seeing each other after several months is fate?"

"More like a certain capitalist's underhanded scheme," you retorted, as you tried to wiggle your way out of his grasp.

"Just… just let me hold you a little longer, Y/N-chan… please?"

You stopped squirming as you listened to his silent plea, and you slowly turned your eyes met his. "Bokuto-san…"

"You could do better than that," he said, as he lifted one hand and traced the side of your face with his long fingers. "I… I missed you, Y/N-chan. I know this was all my fault, I just didn't think you'd up and leave."

"That's what usually happens when you say you love your career more than your girlfriend, Kotaro," you managed to reply, as you thought back to that fateful night when you had come home from attending another one of your friends' wedding stag because he had practice. He was watching one of their games against the Adlers, paying close attention to Ushijima and Kageyama's quick attacks when you sat beside him and recounted how beautiful the ceremony was and how much more fun it would've been if he had attended it with you. He'd usually humor you - asking you to tell him what you liked best about it, how the food was, and listen intently to what you had to say - but lately, he'd neither had the patience not the drive to hear you out and on that night, you weren't having it either. After your stories were met with silence, you decided enough was enough. And on that same evening, you called your old roommate to let her know you were staying over.

"I didn't mean it like that, Y/N-chan. I was under a lot of pressure before," he said, drawing you away from your thoughts. "I was under a lot of pressure. You knew a lot was riding on winning the championships."

As he looked at your blank expression, he huffed and pouted. "I know, I know… I could've chased after you - and believe me, I wanted to, but… uh..," he trailed off.

"But I wasn't your priority," you deadpanned.

"To be honest, I thought you'd come back the next day, and when you didn't…"

"You got angry and thought you shouldn't come after me?"

"No… more like I thought you'd come back the day after or the day after that, and before I realized it, so much time has passed and it was too late to chase after you…"

"So you decided not to?" You watched as he nodded silently, admitting defeat, and you sighed. If this were someone else, you would easily doubt what he said was true, but this guy wouldn't lie to you if his life depended on it. The tightness you had felt in your chest started to ease up, and rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue. "That's so like you, Bokuto-san."

"And there's no one else but you for me, Y/N-chan," he replied, holding you steady in his arms. "So, what do you say, do you think you can give me another shot at this?"

"At what exactly?"

"At this," he gestured to the both of you. "At us. Please? I'll be a better boyfriend. I'll attend all the parties you want to go to, or I'll listen to whatever you want to say to me - even when you repeat it several times, I'll do whatever you want, Y/N-chan, so please…"

You could feel your heart melt as he pleaded with you, and you silently scolded yourself at having your resolve crushed so easily. You knew your friends were probably not going to be happy, but you also knew no one else would do for you.

"Y/N-chan?"

You sighed and turned your attention back to him. "I suppose you are cuter than the Nendoroid," you said haughtily.

"So, will you date me again?"

"As long as you promise I'm your priority from now on."

He squeezed you to his chest and squealed. "You don't need to worry because you're the only one that matters," he said before his lips met yours to seal the deal.

The end.

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfic #hq fanfic #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotarou #iris writes #my first fic in months #i'm sure this sucks #please be kind

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stardustintheabyss · 4 years ago

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“I’ve seen you before”

Oikawa x fem!reader

Sum: Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone. Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.

You let Oikawa Tooru in.

But was it a mistake?

Warnings: swearing because I have no r e s t r a i n t. Insecurity, bullying. Oikawa being a dumbass. Angst and fluff. Small spoiler at the end.

Word count: A lot, it’s....it’s long. My stupid tablet doesn't have word count capabilities

A/n: this is based on a dream I had. How dare the dream gods give me oikawa and not my husbando(s) tendou(kirishima) 😩 and I write to get scenarios out of my head before they drive me insane

Well at least he's pretty

ok I 💫may💫 have fallen a little while writing this

It had been a long weekend of practice and homework for Oikawa. So what better way to zoneout and relax before bed on Sunday night then scroll through his instagram feed.

He'd been scrolling through random sunset photos when he suddenly saw your face in the 'suggested for you' section. Your picture was of you with what he assumed was your cat perched on your shoulder. It was cute. You were cute.

And you did look familiar. Yes, he has seen you before. He's seen you at school. You're always by yourself, reading a book or on your phone sitting on a bench by the front gates.

He tapped on your photo. He started looking through your posts. Landscapes, food, your cute cat, flowers, sunsets, your family. Is what you mostly posted.

Then he came across the rare selfie.

He was wrong. You weren't just cute.

You were breathtakingly beautiful.

How had he not seen that at school?

You were looking off to the side, a small shy smile on your lips. Sunlight and cherry blossom petals in your wild wind blown hair.

He saw that you were online.

He wanted to talk to you and he didn't have the patience to wait until tomorrow at school.

Hey I've seen you before. You go to Aoba Johsai right?

A message popped up on your phone. One from Aoba Johsai's resident pretty boy and captain of the volleyball club. Oikawa Tooru. What the fuck? You weren't one of his pathetic fan girls that fawned all over him. You never cared for the drama that followed the popular crowd. And in all honestly he kind of repulsed you because of the way he let his ego be stroked. You saw him as a pompous ass. You've never shown any kind of interest in the setter. So why was he messaging you of all people? But curiosity got the better of you and you wrote back. Not like he's gonna talk to you at school anyway. He's popular and you're a loner. Two different worlds.

You know that sounds creepy right? But yes.

I'm just trying to be friendly 😔

I've seen that you sit mostly by yourself and thought you could use a friend 😁

You snorted. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought. Still, you didn't want to be too friendly towards him.

I don't care for hs drama but thanks for your chivalry ig 🙄

At this moment your college aged sister begged you to help with one of her cosmetology classes that's due tomorrow. Eyelash extensions. You don't wear makeup but she's your sister and she's giving you puppy dog eyes. You sighed, "Fine." Forgetting to exit out of your messages, you set your phone down, ready to be put through hell.

"Thanks sis! Okay I just need you to lay down and relax." While she got to work the messages on your phone went unnoticed by you.

I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, promise 😅

Y/l/n?

You there?

I'm REALLY sorry!

It's rude to leave people on read yk

Please ?

Y/l/n-chan?

Oikawa was panicking. He didn't mean to piss you off...and now he might have lost his chance to be your friend...or more maybe?

Trying to face time couldn't hurt right?

It just rang. And rang. And rang.

You didn't pick up.

Please. Y/n I'm truly sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets the better of me and I don't think about what I say. I just meant I'd like to be your friend. If you'd let me?

"All finished, babe." Your sister said. "You're looking gorgeous! If I do say so myself." She took a quick after picture for her class.

You grimaced. You never thought of yourself as pretty let alone gorgeous. "Thanks, I guess. Not one to toot your own horn, huh?"

She just rolled her eyes. " Your phone has been pinging like crazy by the way." Wiggling her eyebrows, "Talking to a boy? My baby sis, all grown up."

"W-what?" You stuttered, picking up your phone. 8 messages and 1 face time call. All from the setter captain. It must be your imagination because in the last message he sounded...flustered? You didn't notice the soft smile that graced your lips. But your annoying sister did.

"Oikawa. Isn't he some volleyball big shot at your school? Y/n, is that a smile I see?" She grinned from over your shoulder, seeing the messages.

"I-. Yes. He is." Furrowing your brows. Denying the truth, "And no, I am not smiling."

"Mmhm. Sooo you going to have a new 'friend' or what."

Your self consciencesness got the better of you. "Why would he want to be my friend? He's him and I'm...me." You bit your lip.

"You idiot. You really don't give yourself enough credit. Your smart, have a kind heart and you are beautiful. You just don't let yourself see it. Let someone in." She whispered in your ear giving you a hug.

You sighed. You believed that your sister believed in what she was saying...but years of middle school bullying ingrained into your heart and mind don't disappear overnight. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. 'Night sis."

"Good night y/n."

Getting ready for bed you looked in the mirror. You had a tiny smile, your sister was right, the lashes did look great.

It was late but right before you drifted off to sleep you sent Oikawa a message.

Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...

Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone.

Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.

You let Oikawa Tooru in.

...I wouldn't mind having a friend

The next day

He woke up to two new messages from you. He had tried staying up, waiting for a reply back but he must have fallen asleep. His phone still in his hand.

Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...

...I wouldn't mind having a friend.

A wide sleepy smile came across his face. Just about the time he was going to dm you his phone died. Where's my damn charger? He started rifling through everything, turning his room upside down. The last place he had it was...the locker room.

"Dammit!" He would just have to see you at school. He quickly got ready to go meet Iwa-chan and walk to school.

You weren't necessarily disappointed that Oikawa hadn't replied yet. Even though you had lowered your walls, you set the bar pretty low on expectations. Especially on a friendship with him. But that didn't stop you from being a little excited to see him. You were sitting in your favorite spot at school, reading. Same thing you did every day. It was on a small stone bench in the shade of a cherry tree near the entrance. Abruptly you heard a chorus of squealing. You've learned throughout high school this meant Oikawa had stepped on campus, Iwaizumi reluctantly in tow.

You smiled and waved.

He didn't see. But you didn't know that.

You thought he was ignoring you. Your smile faded. Last night must have been some prank. It wouldn't have been the first time someone decided it would be funny to play with you like a toy. You never should have listened to your sister and let your guard down.

Tears started to prick your eyes. You shut them tightly, willing them to not fall.

You were not going to cry over Oikawa fucking Tooru.

You grabbed you bag and headed to your classroom.

He had seen you get off the bench and walk towards the building. He tried making his way to you but there was just too many girls blocking him. Letting out a frustrated breath he waved his hand and yelled, "Y/l/n-chan!"

You didn't hear him.

Upset he couldn't get to you he said the only thing he could think of to get all these girls to back off for once. "I have a girlfriend, so could you please respect that." He didn't see the crazy girls make a connection between what he said about having a girlfriend and yelling your name.

He didn't realize he just put a target on your back.

At lunch

You were spinning the dial to your locker getting your lunch when you were shoved against it. You turned around and was met with several angry looking girls. Eyes darting between them. Your fight or flight instincts kicking in.

But nobody ever mentions the third option, which is what happened.

You froze.

"This is her?" Some girl sneered.

What were they talking about? You'd never done anything to these girls. You'd always kept to yourself, ensuring a situation like this wouldn't happen.

"She's not even pretty." Said another taking a sip from her juice carton.

"I bet it's just some joke. He wouldn't be with some fat worthless nobody." The girl who seemed to be the leader said as she pushed you to the ground.

Ignoring the tears starting to run down your cheeks and swallowing the lump forming in your throat, "What are you talking about?"

"Wow, Oikawa has himself a stupid girlfriend." said the leader.

"G-girlfriend?" Ok. Now you really had no clue what the fuck they were talking about.

"Stay the hell away from him. He's mine." With that she dumped the remains of the other girls juice carton on you and they walked away laughing.

Holditin.Holditin.Holditin. You chanted inside your head until you made it to the bathroom where you could cry without being bothered. You had stayed off the radar for years and now you were in the middle of it. You let out a sob, sliding to the floor. You felt like you were right back in middle school. Useless. Fat. Ugly. You brought your knees to your chest. Unloveable. Unwanted. Not worth anybody’s time. That’s why you shut everyone out when you became a first year at Seijoh. You didn’t want a repeat of middle school.

But it ended up happening anyway.

So you cried. You cried until you had no more tears. You let it all out until you didn’t care anymore. You had no problem in obeying the threat staying away from the bastard. She could have him. You stood and splashed water on your face trying to ease the puffiness around your eyes. Sighing you realized you'd probably have to stay after school until you looked like you hadn't spent your entire lunch break crying or your sister would ask questions. The now pink stained shirt you could explain away easily. The red and puffy eyes you could not. And you didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else.

Oikawa had looked for you at lunch but he couldn't find you. He did however hear some girls laughing and chatting about messing with ‘Oikawa’s girlfriend’. How could they mess with someone he made up? He turned to his best friend to ask. “Iwa-chan do you know what those girls were talking about?” he whispered so no one would hear, “How could they have messed with my ‘girlfriend’ when I made her up?”

“Idiot. Remember this morning when you called Y/l/n’s name and then immediately after said you had a girlfriend? And don't call me Iwa-chan, Shittykawa.” He rolled his eyes.

He blanched. He hadn’t realized what he'd done. Or apparently how psycho those girls are. He was so focused on you he didn't even whine about Iwaizumi’s regular insults. He wanted to find you and see if you were okay. To apologize for putting you in that situation. Standing abruptly making his chair screech, “I got to go find her--” The bell signaled lunch was over. Fuck. Maybe she’ll be on that bench after school. I’ve seen her there after practice sometimes.

After school

And by some miracle you were there, reading your book. Oikawa took a minute to look at you before he approached. As in your picture your hair was wild but not unkept, it was hiding your eyes. Your lips were slightly pursed while you were reading and your leg was bouncing contentedly.

You were beautiful.

You looked okay.

Until he got closer and finally saw your eyes. You had obviously been crying. By the looks of it a lot. He also saw you had a huge pink stain on your shirt. What had happened?

You had heard someone approach but decided it was best to ignore them.

“Are you okay Y/l/n-chan?” Oikawa spoke softly.

You were so not in the mood for this. For him. Your hands tightened around your book, flicking your eyes up at him and then back down, “Don’t.”

It was only a second but he saw the hurt in your eyes and it was his fault it was there, “I wanted to-” He tried to say but you didn’t let him finish.

Your voice was raw with emotions you didn’t want to feel for him. “WHAT?! You what? Wanted to play with my feelings some more? I bet you had a good laugh last night saying all that shit. And then completely ignoring me this morning when I waved. Making me feel like I could actually have a friend for once?” Your voice got louder and he flinched at your next words. “That someone would even want to be my friend? I fucking knew I shouldn't have but I let you in anyway.” You let out a dark broken laugh and said much quieter, “Even after what happened last time.” Coldly, “Don’t you have a harem to get back to? Just...just leave me alone Oikawa.”

His mouth dropped in shock. He hadn’t seen you wave. What did you mean by last time? He was heartbroken that someone had made you feel this horrible about yourself and he had reminded you of it. He didn’t want to leave you alone, he had to make you understand you were special. He laid his hand on your book trying to make you pay attention. He said the only thing he thought would make you listen. “Tooru.”

You stiffened, nobody calls him by his first name. You've never even heard his best friend call him Tooru. Your voice barely above a whisper, heart stuttering, “What did you say?”

“Tooru. You can call me Tooru. I-I was happy this morning when I woke up when I saw your messages. But my phone died before I could say anything.” He cleared his throat, “ I fell asleep waiting. I was going to talk to you but then that stupid crowd of girls came. Y/l/n I swear I didn’t see you wave! I tried calling for you but you must not have heard me," he frowned, "and I was frustrated so to get them to back off I said I had a girlfriend. I tried looking for you during lunch period but I couldn't find you. Then I heard what those girls did. I’m sorry I put that target on you. I was going to try looking for you again but then the bell rang. This spot after school was my last hope. Well for now anyway, until I got my phone charged.” He rushed out, praying you would forgive him.

“That’s what they were talking about...”

“What were they saying? If you don’t mind talking about it.” Gingerly he laid his hand on yours, holding it.

During his speech you had unconsciously torn your walls down yet again. You heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the concern in his eyes. This was real. He did care. Fuck. Somewhere between last night and this morning you had developed feelings, you just hadn't wanted to believe you weren't immune to his charms. Why did it have to be him. You swallowed, “They basically said I was worthless and wasn’t pretty enough for you. They also shoved me against my locker and onto the floor.” Taking a deep breath you revealed the most humiliating part of the whole thing, “Their leader dumped juice on me.” You looked away not wanting him to see the tears starting to run down your cheeks and you didn't want to see the pity you were sure to receive in his eyes.

“Hey.” He gently turned your face with a palm on each cheek. Wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “You are not worthless. And those girls are just jealous because your the most beautiful girl at Seijoh. I’m sorry they said and did those things to you. It was my fault and I want to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

You searched his face, surely he was lying to make you feel better? But you only found the truth in his warm brown eyes. Oikawa may be an ass but he does not lie. “Okay...Tooru.”

His heart fluttered when you spoke his name. Little did he know that yours did too when he asked you to call him that.

“Come on, lets go.” He smiled pulling you up. “I got something you can change into so you don’t have to wear that home.” He pointed to your ruined shirt.

You and him walked over to the gym. He had never let your hand go from pulling you up and you didn’t mind. You halted at the entry way dropping his hand. He was going to lead you in but, “Tooru, I can't. Only players and managers can go in the gym during practice time.”

He snorted, “Iwa-chan made that rule so the uh” he coughed, “students wouldn't bother us.” Taking your hand he pulled you in after him.

Your face was blushing like mad from the looks you were getting from his teammates. Nobody questioned their captain though.

“Please wait here while I change and grab you something.” He left you at the bleachers.

Iwaizumi walked over to where you were sitting. Before he could say anything you spoke. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not allowed in here but he drug me in and said he was going to get me something to change into." You plucked at your still sticky shirt. "I-I'll leave when Tooru comes back.” You found it easy for Tooru's name to roll of your tongue.

The usually intimidating looking ace smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Tooru, huh? We don't let students in during practice because they follow Oikawa in. He brought you in here. So you can stay if you want.”

You let out a surprised, “Oh.”

“You know he couldn't stop talking about you on the way to school this morning? About how he saw this and I quote ‘breathtakingly beautiful’ photo of you on instagram. He kept talking about your hair with cherry blossom petals in it and your shy smile.”

Your face was on fire. You knew the exact photo he was talking about. How far back did he scroll, it was buried under a ton of pictures.

“He was also worried about you the rest of the day after lunch. He was pretty upset, he even threatened to cancel practice if he didn’t find you on your bench.”

“Iwa-channnn!” Oikawa whined. “Friends keep secrets.” He didn’t look mad but his face was a light shade of pink. Was he...embarrassed?

“Ew. I’m not your friend Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi replied walking away. You laughed quietly, his tone said otherwise.

Except it wasn't just any shirt, it was his jersey. “I can’t wear this! Only couples do that!”

“You're right! You're my best friend!” Tooru called back.

He was met with a middle finger and a "Shut it, Tooru."

“Anyways here. You can change in the girls locker room over there.” He handed you one of his shirts and pointed to the room.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Well I did inadvertently call you my girlfriend. You wouldn't want to make me a liar now would you Y/l/n-chan?” He pouted.

“N-no, but I'm not your girlfriend?” You remembered the things Iwaizumi told you, your face deepening to a scarlet shade.

He took a step closer. You could smell his scent. He smelled like oranges, cloves and...clean sweat? Of course he could make sweat smell intoxicating. It was making your brain hazy. You almost missed what he said. “Do you? Want to be I mean.” The look he was giving you was so genuine and...sweet.

This was too much too fast, but your mouth and heart didn't care apparently what you thought. “I-.” You breathed. “Yes.”

His face lit up, taking one of your hands into his. “We’ll talk more after practice, yeah?”

All you could do is nod. Squeezing your hand as he left to go start practice you went to go change your shirt. It was long on you. Almost falling to the same spot your uniform skirt stopped. You rolled it up a little and tucked it in. That was better.

After changing you returned to your spot on the bleachers. You'd been to games before. It was practically an unsaid rule that all students were required to go. But you really never paid attention, usually doing anything but watching to kill time.

This time you paid attention. Tooru was remarkable. You could see why he was captain and how he got the nickname 'the great king'. You were so entrapped by the teams flow you didn't notice the hours fly by.

Tooru came back over to you, asking somewhat nervously, "So what did you think?" He didn't know why it felt so important to get praise from you. He just knew he wanted you to be proud of him.

Your smile was open and you had stars in your eyes, "You were amazing!" Dipping your toe at being flirty, you winked, "l'll have to pay better attention at the next game."

His heart leapt. You said he was amazing. "Thank you, that means so much coming from you." The second part finally clicked, "Hey wait! What do you mean you'll have to pay better attention at the next game?" He teased.

Sheepishly, "I never uh...actively watched a game before."

"That hurts Y/l/n-chan. Just you wait until the next game." He smiled, "So can I walk you home? It's late and you shouldn't walk by yourself."

"Sure. I don't live far though." You returned his smile.

After he went and changed out of his practice clothes he outstretched his hand for you to take, interlacing your fingers with his. When you got to the gates he asked which way. You pulled him to the left. You curious about earlier.

"So about what Iwaizumi said..." You left the question hanging in the air.

"He was telling the truth." He said it so simply, like he just didn't turn your world upside-down.

"Oh." Was all you could manage with all the butterflies in your stomach. Before you knew it you were in front of your house. "This is me." You turned to face him.

"Really? Iwa-chan and I live one street over."

"You're joking." He had to be.

"Nope, cross my heart." More seriously "Do you want to walk to school with us maybe?"

"I'd like that, Tooru." Shyly you peeked up at him through your lashes.

"Hey, I noticed before." He traced a thumb over your cheekbone, brushing against your fluttering eyelashes. "Your eyes look different some how?"

You let out a small chuckle, "Eye lash extensions. That's what I was helping my sister with last night. She's in a cosmetology class."

He leaned down, getting very close. "They suit you Y/l/n-chan."

Clearing your throat. "Um, thanks." A beat later, "Call me Y/n."

His eyes softened. "Can I kiss you, Y/n?"

Your breath caught. "Y-yes."

He closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes shutting and heart thumping wildly with anticipation.

You did not expect the feather light touch of his lips ghosting over yours. You did not expect such a tender kiss from the popular setter captain.

At first your lips only brushed against each others. Testing. Until you couldn't stand it any longer. He had lit a fire inside. You leaned in closer, needing more. Pressing your lips against his and moving one hand onto the back of his neck and the other onto his shoulder pulling him closer. He took this queue to hold your waist. As you kissed time stood still. You couldn't tell if the fire inside was tearing you apart or if he was holding you together. There was just you and him, the world had long ago faded away.

He was surprised you took control of the kiss but was glad you did. He didn't want to push you after everything you'd been through. And honestly he could barely think straight. Could barely breathe. Your lips were so soft and they tasted like honey. He didn't want it to end, he would have happily drowned surrounded by air if it meant he could kiss you.

But you pulled away breathless and eyes bright. You leaned into the comfort of his arms.

That was your first kiss.

"I'll be waiting here tomorrow Y/n." He pressed his lips to the crown of your head.

"Alright." You looked up at him. "Message me when you get home 'kay?"

"Will do, my queen." The name sent tingles down your spine. Once again putting his lips to yours. "Good night."

"'Night Tooru." You slipped out of his embrace and before you made your way inside, you gave him one last wave goodbye. Dazed you shut the door behind you with your back and brought your fingers to your smiling lips.

"'Friends' huh? Lot different in my day." Your sister said from the couch, her eyes catching on his jersey.

Still grinning like a fool, "Shut up." You headed upstairs to start on your homework. About ten minutes later you received a text. Smiling you opened it.

Made it home safe and sound. And now I'm going to sleep so I can dream of you 😘

Who knew 'the great king' was such a goofball.

Sweet dreams then, goofball

They will be because you'll be in them ❤

Rude, my queen, rude

Good night Tooru ❤

But that’s why you like me

Rolling your eyes, you grinned.

The next morning he was right where he said he would be. Waiting for you. Iwaizumi with him of course. “Morning Iwaizumi.”

“Good morning Y/l/n.” Iwaizumi greeted.

You said taking your boyfriends hand. “Morning Tooru.” You were feeling confident this morning so you tugged him down a little so you could reach his face, pecking him on the lips.

His eyes widened. He definitely didn't expect that, not that he was complaining. “G-good morning Y/n.” A rosy hue dusting his cheeks.

You giggled at his reaction.

“I guess the right girl turns you into a flustered mess.” Iwaizumi joked.

"I make you a flustered mess huh? I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of that.” You nudged him playfully as you all started to make your way to school.

“No fair. I won’t allow you and Iwa ganging up on me!” He tilted his head towards your ear, whispering for only you to hear. “Besides, my queen, I give as good as I get.”

You choked. And he didn't miss the red on your face. Oh boy. If he kept up with that name you were going to become a puddle. Clearing your throat awkwardly, “Ah look, we’re here!”

Unfortunately you were met with his swarm of ‘fans’. At the head of it all were the bitches that made you feel like shit. Tooru felt you hesitate and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and looked at you with such adoration in his eyes. That was all you needed. You were going to show these girls you weren’t afraid of them. You hoped he wouldn't mind your sudden boldness.

Turning towards him and standing on your tippy toes you grabbed the back of his neck and crashed your lips against his. This kiss was much deeper than the one you shared last night. You'd even go so far to say passionate. Last night was tentative, figuring each other out. This kiss you poured in all your feelings, all of your heart and soul. Pulling away slightly, resting your forehead against his and playing with the hair near where your hand rested on his neck, “Um, sorry if that was too much.”

You turned to face the mostly shocked crowd. The only angry one was the leader girl. Remembering what she said yesterday, “I’m his.” He wasn’t some possession to own. But you were free to give your heart to him, if he wanted it. Really you didn’t expect him to say anything during this exchange but he did.

God, you were perfect he thought. With a stupid smile on his face, “N-no don’t be sorry. Not at all.”

It made your heart catch in your throat.

“And I’m hers.” The girls mouth dropped open. “Come on. Let’s go, my queen.” he said pressing his lips to your knuckles, sending a shiver up your back.

“Tooru!” You squeaked. That damn pet name. You knew no matter how many times he said it, it would still make you weak in the knees and make your heart leap. And he fucking knew it. You walked hand in hand to your spot under the cherry tree. “Don’t call me that when a bunch of people are around...”

“Why not? It’s true. And you like it.” He gave you a cheeky look. “Besides that passionate kiss you gave me was pretty public.”

A blush creeping up your neck, “I-shut up.”

Chuckling he brought you into a hug, “Whatever you wish, my queen.”

Epilogue

As the months passed you and Tooru grew closer together and his ‘fan club’ realized you weren't going anywhere. Sure some still tried to bring you down but over the months you had gained some confidence in yourself. You weren't as insecure but when you fell Tooru was there to help you pick yourself back up. You had also become good friends with the volleyball guys, especially Iwa. You had a special bond over teasing your boyfriend. Even though you both teased him relentlessly he was happy two of his favorite people got along so well. In fact he had asked if you had wanted to officially become a manager. You practically were now anyway he said so why not make it official. Of course you agreed.

It was only your third game as a manager when they lost to Karasuno. You knew how bad he wanted to go to nationals. It was his dream and this was his last chance. He was sitting on the floor outside the gym, head hung low in devastation. You knew words were not what he wanted to hear right now. He just needed you to be there for him. You sat down next to him, waiting. He gently pulled you onto his lap, burying his head in the crook of your shoulder. Holding you closely. He was silent but you felt his warm tears fall on your skin. You held him and hummed a slow melody quietly in his ear. After awhile he kissed your temple.

“Thank you.” He whispered. He was ready talk.

“I’m here for you, always. You’re my king, win or lose. And I am so so proud of you.” A small smile lifted one side of his mouth.

You were going to tell him something important today. No matter what happened. Maybe he needed to hear it especially because of what happened. You took a deep breath and kissed his forehead briefly. One hand on his cheek and looking into his still tear stained eyes.

“I know the world has greater things than nationals waiting for you. You may not feel like it now but believe me when I say it. You are so much more than what you think you are and....and that’s why I love you, Tooru.”

He searched your face looking for pity or disappointment but all he found was love. For weeks those three words had been just under the surface, waiting to be spoken into existence, always on the tip of his tongue at the end of every conversation with you or even when he would see you do small simple things. Hearing the love in your voice and the feeling of you mend his shattered heart about nationals they finally broke free.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

He might have been your first kiss but you were his first love and he wanted you to be his last.

He gently ran his thumb against your bottom lip.

And he kissed you with everything he had, like it would be his last.

But.

There was many more to come...

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#oikawa x reader #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x y/n #the dream gods did me a disservice but i made the best of it #writing this may have made me soft for Tooru #he calls his gfs my queen #fight me #y/n and iwa's bond over teasing your bf #low key proud of some lines in this #my tiny blog writings

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nurseofren · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Read chapter twenty-three

Title: Prove it

Words: 6800

Warnings: Talks of pregnancy, mentions of vomit

Summary: A friend. A foe?

ST Rambles: I look pretty good for a dead bitch.

Okay. In all seriousness. In the five weeks that I have not updated, it has been chaos. School is absolutely kicking my ass this semester and I am not afraid to say it. Maternal-Newborn is a hell I would not wish on my worst enemy. With this said, I know any further updates will be sporadic, BUT - and I say this to snuff out any doubt on the matter - I will never, EVER, abandon this story. However it ends, rest assured that it will, in fact, do just that.

I thank you all for your patience and encouragement. This story is something I care deeply about and it just floors me that others do as well. I love interacting with you all, either on here or tumblr or TikTok (if you've made one and I haven't seen it, please tag me! My fyp does not work in my favor lol).

Be kind. Don't forget to be a person. All you can do is try your best.

[MASTERLIST] | BANNER/@elmidol

Good afternoon,

I can only hope this correspondence finds you safe and well.

The Board of Physicians sympathizes during this time of displacement and potential grieving. There are countless variables to be considered during uncertain times like these, but those of your safety and well-being are of the utmost importance. In an effort to convey the depth of our understanding, a unanimous vote has approved the decision to extend the dates of the trial by seven days. Upon receiving this official communication, you should plan to arrive on Canto Bight a minimum of two days prior to the morning of the initial hearing. An updated outline has been attached at the end of this e-mail for reference and sent to all pertinent parties.

Per the initial correspondence, Commander Ren is to receive a new provider prior to the trial’s start date. This objective has been met with the solemn barrier of the diminished population of approved nurses and physicians which resulted from the recent tragedy of Starkiller Base. There have been additional unforeseen circumstances also working to lengthen and altogether halt this approval process. Rest assured that we are doing everything in our power to ensure the trial proceedings occur in an organized and professional manner.

The emergent provider shortage, along with the unknown – and likely diminished – amount of surveillance retained from Starkiller Base prior to its destruction, has laid the foundation for the discussion of potential and probable employment during your time on Canto Bight. The discussions surrounding this issue are in their infancies. Should it be that you are to assume a care position during your trial, you will receive a further updated and in-depth itinerary. This would include the dates, times, and location you would be expected to work; this information would be accompanied by any specific limitations regarding your scope of practice while on trial.

Though you are encouraged to reach out to discuss any questions or concerns you may have pertaining to these new developments, the current agenda is to be followed with strict compliance. Should there be any changes, as stated previously, I will communicate these to you in a timely and conscious manner.

Respectfully,

Karmen Zag, Esq.,

Head of Communications,

The Board of Physicians

“Yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself Karmen Zag. Stupid ass name anyway.”

Not that anyone could hear you, nor that anyone would care, you could not help the petty jab. Karmen Zag, the faceless mouthpiece of the institution actively seeking your death, had little to do with anything. Karmen Zag was not the one who had carved initials into your body; that person was elusive to you now. Karmen Zag was not the one who kept you from sleep; that person was dead, killed by the trembling hands of the very survivor they’d created. Karmen Zag was not the one you were currently hiding from; that person, achingly kind and too ignorant to know different, still came to pick you up from shift every night.

Cramped in the corner of a supply room, you sat with your knees tucked to your chest and your datapad resting on your thighs, eyeing the vent at the bottom of the door to spy Mason’s tapping foot. In the seven days since waking up in the medbay, six days since returning to work to help with the increased patient population – or, at least that’s what you were telling yourself – you had found yourself with a desperate need to distance yourself from Mason. He was unaware of all that was haunting you, nescient to the fact he was at the epicenter of the majority of it. To see him was to remember the choice you’d made, to hate yourself for regretting it, to be morally ripped in half by the unwavering war in the back of your mind.

The first three days he would always sneak up on you, flurries of white lies leaving while you fumbled away from him and into the nearest room. I’m on call tonight was your favorite. No, you weren’t, though you had been staying in the on-call rooms to hide the fact that you no longer held a residence on this ship. No matter if you had not received official word on your employment status, you felt an unease when thinking of returning to Kylo Ren’s quarters. It felt too broken, like you’d be a stranger somewhere you’d once considered a home.

Eventually, Mason being an inherent creature of habit, you’d picked up on his timing. On the fourth day you’d decided to stake him out, finding he would spend exactly ten minutes waiting, send a message to your commlink, spend another five toying with his own as he waited for a response, eventually asking whoever was nearest to tell you to call him. You never did. It was despicable, watching his hope falter as the days passed and you were never there to leave with him; wretched, but that did not make it any less necessary.

So long as you were away from Mason, you couldn’t hurt him. If you could create a rift between the two of you so great as to discourage any further interaction, you could save him from all the suffering that came along with being associated with you. On the other hand, you couldn’t deny the comfort you felt in deferring any conversation with him. Avoidance may not be a healthy coping mechanism, but all the ones you’d learned of in school were useless to your set of circumstances; there was no talking this through, no way to speak of Snoke or Kylo or Robbie without getting someone else hurt. You were trapped in your own, sole company; whoever you had become recently, you were barely tolerant of them, let alone fond. It was growing increasingly difficult to recognize your own reflection. At some point you figured you might stop looking altogether.

Zag’s update had been present in your inbox ever since returning to work; with each read through – which, now, you’d have read a hundred times – you felt time pass by. Each night you spent time tucked away here, the cold tile permeating the scrub pants you now wore; the uniform you’d had on when you arrived back on the Finalizer had been too tattered to reuse. Not that you wanted to wear it; in those tattered, bloodied threads lay the obvious truth of how entirely you had failed at the only assignment you had ever been trusted with.

Trusted. The thought made you shiver. Yes. Trusted. Past tense. In every sense it could be. Thus, folded into yourself, away from prying eyes or well-meaning friends, you scrolled aimlessly up and down the message. Though its existence annoyed you, knowing full well that there was no empathy or genuine concern behind the decision to delay the trial, it also brought you ease to know this portion of your life was almost over. Again you were embracing the possibility of your death, only this time rooted in hatred for yourself, not Kylo Ren.

“Alright, well, can you tell her-,”

“Tell her to call you. Got it. Do every night.” One of your coworkers had grown exasperated with Mason – or was it with you? Either way, peeking through the vent slats, you spied Mason’s legs drag out of view. It made your heart fall, feeling more disgusted with yourself each day; it was this confusing combination of feeling a pull to run after him, to apologize to him with every breath you had left, only for that initial urgency to be swallowed by the knowledge that the action would be futile.

With tired eyes, not having gotten more than two hours of unbroken sleep since the sixteen you’d woken from, you looked to your left wrist. It was a routine gesture, pointless in the fact you had not worn the watch since finding it on your bedside table. Much like your uniform, only agonizingly amplified, the sight of the gadget inspired a hollowness in your chest. It remained in a pillowcase, hidden atop the bed you’d claimed. Each night you toyed with it, thumbed at the lifeless screen and wondered if it would ever offer another flicker; each night you caught the hazy reflection of two unfamiliar eyes, finding only the remnants of shattered promises staring back at you.

A sigh crept into your lungs when you stood, arms stretching and hands smoothing back your hair before going to activate the door. It hissed open without your indication; before you could question how, two hands pushed you out of the way and sent you flying face first into the storage shelves. Nose first, actually; the collision rang through your ears, pain throbbing in prominence as you stumbled for stability, arms widespread and eyes pinched shut.

“Oh! You have to be kidding!” Copper crept down your upper lip, cascading over your sharp tongue, foggy eyes opening to blood-stained fingers. “Watch where you’re going, jeez!”

Away from you sounded the door as it shut, but that wasn’t the sound that alarmed you. Across the room, near the sink – at least you hoped it was near the sink – came the horrendous retching that could only indicate vomit. The longer you listened, though, all the while blindly searching for a package of gauze, you found it wasn’t vomit, but an attempt towards it; echoes of dry heaves wracked the room, vomit absent even as the stranger continued in their effort toward expulsion.

A spill of winces left you, a grimace following suit when you tipped your head back, blood draining down your throat. You found a box of gauze squares and tore it open, peeling away a layer and rolling it into a cone before pushing it into one nostril. Vessels pounded against the material, injury soaking into it as you caught your breath.

“I’m so sorry,” a familiar voice said, groggy and breathless. “The refresher was occupied, and the occupancy indicator wasn’t on.” She took another breath, gasping back spit. “I figured the sink in here would do.”

Another person you’d been avoiding. Talia. Sick. As she would be, of course. It was something you’d fought thoughts on; it was too confusing, too unnerving to put the pieces you’d been offered together. Hux had left her room, had been so distraught. Talia had seized and ended up in the medbay. Armitage. Stars, how that word haunted you in the way it left her paling lips. She’d been so disoriented, so scared. Glassy eyes and green pallor. And the person she’d asked for was Armitage.

With these thoughts, dizzying as they had become, came the image of the very thing that tied them all together: that square-cut, printed, glossy ultrasound picture. Between nightmares of Robbie and desperately trying to find any amount of sleep, you saw it clear in your head, remembered how you’d lost your ability to stand when you first considered the reality of it. It all made sense clinically; the symptoms, the tangible evidence showing a yolk sac, the patient identifiers framing the monochrome image.

But, when you remembered running into Hux, remembered the ghost in his eyes and felt the rather unsettling demeanor – one not marked with errant hatred – he’d met you with, it all started to blur. Jumble. Your mind rejecting the thought that Talia and Hux-

Talia mewled, your eyes opening to find white knuckles outfitting a vise grip over the sink’s metal edge. The fluorescent lights lining the ceiling made it all too easy to see how sick she really was. Tears glinted down her cheeks, her hair dull in its tousled bun, a string of spit straying from her bottom lip; there was a suggestion of green just below the surface of her skin, exhaustion evident in the lavender drapes below her eyes.

A shaky breath left her before she rested against the sink, elbows bent and fingers rolling over her temples. For a moment there was a deafening silence, one that strangled you and emphasized the throbbing in your nose when you stopped breathing. It dissipated when Talia groaned, her head drooping and stance shifting.

“At least shift is done, right?” She sounded like she was talking to anyone. She didn’t know it was you. She didn’t know you knew.

Swallowing, dropping your hand from your face, you tried to think of anything to say. But nothing would come. And, considering how little time you had left to know her – execution or not – you saw no point in frivolous small talk.

“How far along are you?” It was a low rasp; frail in its existence yet bludgeoning the quiet that had preceded it.

She didn’t look up, but you knew she recognized your voice; her every muscle stalled, hair even stilling as your words sank into her. It was the first thing you’d said to her since she’d seized. In her silent shock it dawned on you that it had not been long since you’d been in a situation similar to this; the two of you, a pitting silence, a mess – obvious and blaring – surrounding you.

Only this mess was not something that could be cleaned. This mess existed outside all you had once thought to consider. Though this room was less gruesome in appearance, it held that same suffocated dread, carried with it the reminder that everything could change without a moment’s notice. Watching the color return to her cheeks, absentmindedly brushing your fingertips across the raised marks atop your thigh, it hit you how true that fact was.

A small sound – a swallow – filled the room, a sigh to accompany it. “Six weeks. I think, at least. Maybe more.” She stood then, crossing her arms and leaning against the sink. A wall stood between you and her, invisible yet so entirely present. “No one knows.” Her jaw fluttered at its hinge. The wall was for her; a façade, a crutch. She was scared.

The door lit cool shivers down your back, hands digging into your pockets, a weak attempt at a smile pulling at your face. “Congratulations,” you offered first, forgetting the circumstances before seeing her eyes fall to the floor. “Or not, I guess.”

She kept her eyes down. “I’m not showing, and I’ve been good about sneaking away to throw up, so…”

“Last week,” you said, her stare coming back to you, “after Starkiller. I fainted after arriving back here, and after I woke up,” I washed the Commander of the First Order’s hair and cried to his comatose body about how my life is falling apart, “I just had to know you were okay, so I visited you.”

“I don’t remember seeing you. I actually… How did you even know I had been admitted to the medbay?”

“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.” You chewed your cheek, recounting any of those 48 hours made your pulse jump. “You weren’t well off when I found you, before they took you to the medbay, so I wouldn’t expect you to remember me being there.”

Her brow dipped for half a second, a crack creeping into that wall. “I didn’t know you found me. It’s difficult for me to even recall most of that day.” Her shoulders dropped, stature less rigid now. “Thank you, though.”

You nodded, not entirely sure why she felt it necessary to thank you. “Yeah. So, you were sleeping and I saw the tests ordered on your board. And then I found your ultrasound on the floor.”

Her eyes were so distant, pupils housing a familiar ghost. “It must have fallen when I was sleeping.” Her lips parted with the whisper, egregious loneliness overwhelming the thought.

It felt like the floor would fall out at any second, the interaction so fragile. Watching her with intent, measuring her reactions, you charged ahead into territory you’d been afraid to enter for so long.

“Talia,” you started, buying more time to think on your phrasing. Her focus startled back from wherever her mind had taken her. “I mean, maybe this is ridiculous, and maybe I’m so far off base in even suggesting it…”

Her arms dropped when a hand reached to tuck a collection of stray hair behind her ear, nose sniffing, teeth pulling at her bottom lip. She took her eyes from yours, breath picking up. That wall she stood behind was wearing.

You couldn’t stand beating around the bush any longer, sick of theorizing about it all. It fled out, no breath to separate any of it. “I’ll just say it: Hux was leaving your room when I came around. And he was being weird. So weird. I mean, he was being… would I say nice? Maybe just, less awful? He complimented me. And it was so weird, but I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt because, you know, he’d just lost a lot of men. But then it was you in the room and I.. he was so distraught? That is barely the right word, but I mean? He just wasn’t General Hux. And then I found the ultrasound and remembered how you’d asked for ‘Armitage’ earlier when I’d found you, and-,”

A weep signaled the destruction of the wall she’d thrown up, hands clawing into her eyes and lungs heaving full of ragged, desperate air. “Oh, please tell me you didn’t tell him! He can’t- I don’t!” Sobs rolled off of her between each exclamation. “I haven’t told him. I don’t know how. I- he’s so evil! I can’t believe I ever slept with him!”

Seeing her come apart, feeling the guilt she did in every word she cried, you could only think to take her into your arms. In your hold you felt her shaking and the pain roll off of her in thick, grating waves. It was familiar, like she, too, had been existing alone; you had not noticed, so buried in your own avoidance that you had not thought to consider hers.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so- I’m so sorry! It makes me so mad that- ugh!”

“Hey, stop. Slow down,” you soothed, hugging her tighter. “You have nothing to apologize to me for. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay?”

“No, I have! I slept with my Master! And got pregnant! And he’s such a fucking jerk! He’s the whole reason you’re losing your career, you know? And I had sex with him! And I feel- felt real things for him!” A breath stuttered into her lungs. “I never meant for it to go any further than that first night, and then… fuck.”

It burned down to your marrow that you had the power to comfort her, knew everything she was feeling even if it wasn’t hatred that left you crying at night. She would be embraced in knowing you had also slept with your Master; it would minimize the guilt she now felt. To tell her you had fallen for Kylo Ren could help her know that she wasn’t alone.

Instead, feeling her tears accumulate on your sleeve, struggling to keep in your own, you kept quiet. She would not learn how you had burned so bright for your commander. It was selfish, but it was necessary. Self-preservation. She would be testifying against you, taking the stand right after Hux. Her not knowing would do no harm; it would keep her from having to consider or commit perjury. Talia now joined Mason, another soul to protect, another person you would lie to.

Several minutes passed before she stopped trembling, another few before the tears stopped staining your uniform. Humanity existed in these moments, and though you would hide how you knew the advice you would offer her, you knew she needed to hear it. A part of you did, too.

Moving your arms from her back and grasping both her shoulders, you locked eyes with her and forced her to see that you somehow understood her pain. “There is nothing to feel guilty about. Not that you slept with him, or that you got pregnant. Not that you felt things for him or that you still do.” Her eyes shut at that, a fresh streamlet dragging into her mouth. “You can still love him even if he has done awful things.”

“Gosh, how can you say that? He’s ruined your life,” she shuddered, grimacing before looking back up to you.

“I made the choice to take that blood. I had a choice,” your throat tightened, not knowing if you were reciting the words from their origin or from your dream, “I made the one I thought was the best at the time. Hux may be an ass in the way he has gone about the issue, but it’s not like he wouldn’t have reported me.”

She sobbed your name, confusion and hurt wrought in her features. “That blood saved that patient. You saved that patient. We both know that. You saved him and you’re suffering for it and I’m the one who wrote the incident report. He made me write it. Such a fucking bastard.”

Just like that, whatever weird internal truce you’d made with Hux disappeared. “Yeah, that is a dick thing to do, I will say that.”

She wiped at her cheeks, shaking her head. “I should have lied on that report.”

“And gotten both of us in trouble? That isn’t a solution.”

“If I had, you would be less alone in this. And I wouldn’t have to testify against you.” Talia’s eyes shot to the ceiling and back, frustration hot on her breath. “It’s just so-,”

“Unfair. I know. I have… I’ve beaten myself up about it too much not to know that.” This conversation was too similar to those you’ve held inwardly. It was becoming repetitive to keep sulking over something you could not change. But Talia, if she wanted, could change her situation. “We went through the same program, got the same schooling, I know you know your options here.”

She chewed her cheek, shaking her head. A long drag of breath found its way into her chest, releasing when your hands fell to your sides. “This is where you find out how stupid I am.”

It pulled at your heart to hear how hard she was being on herself. “You aren’t stupid. And if you are? Could’ve fooled me with your class rank and just general existence.”

A laugh, weak but not acrid. “Academics were easy. Career is easy. This life stuff? Messy. Complicated. I feel like no matter what I do, it will blow up in my face.” That earlier distance glazed over her stare, a glimmer of yearning present in the way her eyebrows pinched. “And what I want…think I want? I’m not sure it’s even possible.”

“What do you want?”

Talia shut her eyes, capitulation and indignance set in her features, jaw flexed. “I haven’t spoken to him since that night,” she whispered. “He watched me fill out that report. I was sobbing in front of him and he said nothing.” A hand smoothed over her hair and clutched into her bun, lips quivering for a moment. “I didn’t even know until last week. I woke up for a few minutes and they started talking about all that had happened – fainting and seizures and blood tests – and they immediately wheeled me down to have an ultrasound to confirm the hCG results and urinalysis.”

She paused, growing in distance the more she shared. “Was it just your electrolytes that caused the seizure?”

“Yeah. Yes.” She blinked back to the present. “Belkar actually said I was severely dehydrated and that my metabolic panel reflected that.” Talia was dancing between two timeframes; gentleness framed her face when revisiting that of the past. Something so delicate in her stare; adoration cusping on hope. “I always told myself I would never have children. It scared me seeing how sick they could become when we had our unit on pediatrics. I’d never wanted to feel so helpless as the parents I saw during clinical.”

It almost winded you to watch a single tear slip down her cheek, allowing her silence during her pause before she looked up at you, desperation drowning her eyes. She couldn’t find – or, maybe, did not want to believe – the words that overwhelmed her. “What changed?” You knew, but she needed to hear it for herself.

Her lips had become puffy, teeth pulling at the bottom one. She reached into the front pocket of her scrub dress, pulling from it that square print, only now with rolled, worn corners. “I know it’s early and there are so many things that can go wrong and I know I had been drinking before I knew, but…” A swallow bobbed her throat, a fond smile forming when she toyed with the scan. “When they handed this to me? Something just, I don’t know, came into view.”

A surge of immense pain coiled into you. In her reverie you saw yourself, realized how fortunate her situation was; she had something she wanted and even though it was complicated, she had a choice in the matter.

Again, her mind had wandered, distraction framing her tone; her brows pinched together for a second, a question sparking from her memories. “Have you ever wanted something so much, and maybe you didn’t fully understand it, but you just knew? For whatever reason, this was the thing you would do everything in your power to make possible? To have what you want, no matter how daunting or nonsensical it seemed?”

“Yeah,” you choked out, coughing against the new strain on your throat, “I think so.” Talia had that ability, though, and it cracked against your skull how helpless you were to go after what you wanted.

“You said that I could still love him if he’s done awful things,” she quoted, her attention returning to you. “I don’t love him. I don’t think I really know him that well. But…” She shook her head, shoulders shrugging and a puff of breath leaving her nose. “I miss him. It’s so dumb, but the bastard is nice to be around when he isn’t buried in politics. When he’s just a person. When he isn’t the General. When he’s just—” another smile, similar to her earlier one “—Armitage.”

“That has to be the strangest part of this whole thing.” A small laugh bubbled past your lips. It had been so long since the last one. “Armitage.”

“It was very odd at first. But I’m not going to cry out General, oh please General! when I’m cumming, so I got over it.”

Dumbfounded, all you could do was gawk at her candor. It warmed you, though, feeling like that first night you’d hung out with her. A good memory. Her cheeks pinked in your silence and the sight pulled you straight into a ruckus of laughter, tears – born in pain, falling from humor – and lightheartedness. It was short lived, but Talia joined in your fit; abashed giggles leaving her smile-tight face.

“I mean, I feel like it would be weirder if you were sleeping with Commander Ren.” Talia jabbed at your shoulder. “Calling him… Kylo? That just feels downright wrong.”

Instantaneously, your high fizzling into nothing before her, you found yourself right where you were when you’d said your first goodbye. Ky. It wilted your heart, shrouded whatever glimpse of happiness you’d just caught. Talia was too lost in the joke to notice you’d backed away from her, face turned so she couldn’t see the suffering rise to the surface.

“Ha, yeah. Wrong. So, so wrong.” You cleared your throat, brushing past the weak attempt at nonchalance, ready to be off this subject. “So you miss him? You miss… Armitage? Yeah, no. I’m gonna stick to Hux, if that’s alright?”

A final laugh lit from her chest, Talia waving you off. “That’s fine, of course. And yeah. I miss him.” Her brow furrowed. “Do you think it could work? Me and him, and—” she gestured down to her abdomen, placing the scan back in her pocket “—this?”

This was none of your business, and you doubted anything you could say would help her, but there was genuine curiosity in her voice. There was respect in how she wanted your insight into something so intimate and personal.

A sigh preceded your reply, unsure if you were speaking to her or yourself. “I think… Just as you said earlier: no matter if its daunting or nonsensical or even completely impossible – if you want it and you are willing to do everything in your power to get it?”

Hope lit behind her eyes, bloomed in her chest at the suggestion. “It could work.”

Struggle hid behind a mask of hope. Of course she did not know how it pained you to offer words that would never exist for yourself, and it wasn’t fair to ruin her moment of clarity with the bitter bite of ill-placed jealousy. There was no part of you that envied her condition, but instead what it entailed; you coveted her ability to choose the life she wanted.

Talia shook her head free, a giggle warm on her breath. “We should get out of here. Night shift is gonna run us off soon. You have the time?”

“Uh, not readily available. But I’m sure it’s way past shift change.” You started toward the door.

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been staying in the on-call rooms?”

“Oh.” It surprised you that she’d noticed. The knowledge warmed you to your core, both from embarrassment and appreciation. “Yeah, I know you guys have been swamped down here with all the fallout from Starkiller, so I just thought I’d stay near to help out.”

She tsked, your name a mocked plead. “You are Starkiller fallout. You need to rest. Especially now that you can. I got an update from Zag about the trial. You’ve got, what? Three or four days before Canto Bight? Seven until the initial hearing?”

She’d done the same math you’d gone over at length. Hearing it from someone else’s mouth made it that much more real. Frightening. “I know. I do, I know. But what’s wrong with spending them here?”

“You know as much as I do that working constantly drains the absolute soul from you. Even just working these past three days I have been dying for my time off.”

“Yeah, but you have a reason to be tired.”

“I’m pregnant. You survived a planet exploding all the while keeping the Commander of the First Order alive. Are you forgetting that?”

Talia, I wish I could forget all of it. “No, I’m just-,”

“And I know you’ve been blowing off that McCarty guy. He’s a physician, right?”

Maybe you’d been less discreet in your efforts toward avoidance than you thought. It felt like being caught; this web of lies was becoming a strain, less of a benefit, a hinderance rather than protection. “He’s… Mason doesn’t know what he’s asking for, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” Talia strode to your side, stern eyes on your own. “Look,” a breath softened her demeanor, “whatever happened on Starkiller, whatever you saw or felt – it’s affecting you. I don’t know what it is, and I’m not asking you to tell me – though, you can tell me anything – but at some point it becomes a choice to remain stagnant in grief.”

“Hey!” Talia had always been blunt, but her audacity now clawed at your patience.

“Okay, sorry, yes that was very harsh,” she placed a firm hand on your shoulder, “but you are the one who made me realize that. Here. Now.”

Tears threatened but remained stuck in your throat. “Like you said, I’m alone in this. I have to be.”

“The way I see it, you aren’t-,”

“Talia, I am.”

“You aren’t. Me being here and that physician coming here every night is proof of that.” You met her with silence. She shrugged. “You could have left me to deal with my issues alone, but you saw me and knew I couldn’t.” More silence on your part, her stare flicking between your eyes. “I see you. You can’t deal with this alone. I won’t let you.”

You fought to hide them, but one by one fell the tears you had not permitted before. For so long it seemed you had been shielding others from hurt, ensuring a safety they were not aware they needed. Talia was offering that to you, now. Rejection was the first instinct to kick in, feelings of doubt and thoughts of I do not deserve this blaring in urgency.

But then she spoke, naming what you had been too scared to confront. “Choose to not be alone. It doesn’t make you a bad person,” her hand left you, overwhelming assurance in her smile, “You’ve been strong for long enough, for so many others. Let someone be strong for you for once.”

The next breath you took was a million times lighter than any you’d had since seeing Kylo those days ago. She really did see you, more than she could ever know. It was imperfect, of course; you weren’t sure anyone would ever be fully aware of how much pain you were in, there was so much you could never share. It was her offer that brought you solace; it may be superficial for you, but Talia was in your corner, and she believed, knew, that it meant something. In her eyes, pooled with intensity, you heard her loud and clear: that oath, born in blood, was renewed here and now, its strength indelible even in silence.

“Now,” she activated the door, its hiss shivering down your spine, “I think Mason would love it if you caught up with him.” The two of you stepped into the hall, already beginning to part paths. “I’d invite you to stay with me but I, uh…”

“You’ll be otherwise predisposed?”

“…We’ll see,” rose bloomed in her cheeks, “I don’t think I’ll tell him. Not tonight. Not yet.”

“Ah,” you sighed, a yawn slipping past.

“Get some sleep! And maybe just… get some, you know?”

The joke registered too late, her paces halfway down the hall before you called out, “Oh. Oh. No, I’m not with- we aren’t anything more than friends.” Not sure if she even heard you, she waved behind her before turning a corner. Well. That’ll need clarifying.

Heat flared in your cheeks, several pairs of eyes weighing on your shoulders at the outburst. Would there ever be a day when you were not embarrassing yourself on this unit? Given this would be the last shift before going to Canto Bight, probably not. Eyes tracking your steps, deciding to surprise Mason instead of call him, you found your way to the on-call room where your entire world was set up; remnants of a past one, at least.

In it you gathered your belongings – a pair of back up scrubs, a toiletries bag, and the lifeless watch. There was a hesitance before placing the device with the other items. Six nights you had spent staring at its blank face, resenting the stranger you’d come to see. Glancing your face before placing it in the bag, you did a double-take. In the most minute details, barely there, you found a familiarity in the eyes you met; they were less dull, something like life or light peeking through the surface.

You dropped the gadget into your pocket, gathered your uniform into the bag, and took a final glance at the shelter you’d sought amidst a storm that had nearly consumed you. Even though nothing had truly mended, there was comfort in the absence of solitude; in the face of probable death, the explicit knowledge that you were not alone made it less daunting. Less impossible.

A final breath brought the door to a close, footsteps leading you into the vast expanse of the Finalizer. The change in air was nice, lungs welcoming the difference and cluing you into the fact you still had a gauze square shoved up your nose. It took a tug to pull it from its place, a sting pinching at the sudden release of pressure.

“Shit,” you hissed, feeling a new stream of warmth trickle past your lips. Two fingers pressed to your mouth, testing for a mirage but coming back with the real thing, red creaks splintering into the ridges of your fingerprint. Without thinking you wiped it down your scrub top, forgetting you were no longer clothed in camouflaging black, but instead unforgiving grey. “Fuck!”

“Wasn’t this how I left you here the last time?”

The airlock must have snapped, lungs solid, muscles frozen. Tension seized your ribcage, pulse plummeting, blood bounding against tuned ears. Every bit of moisture abandoned your mouth. Every bodily process you could think of stopped.

There was no modulation, each word raw, bare, and clear as the last time you had heard their founder. At least, the last time you’d heard it while awake. It was less haunted now, filled not with insidious rage but rather bone-chilling earnest.

“I suppose not, given it’s your blood tonight.”

He drew nearer, boots heavy and steps paced to perfection, the rhythm of his stride an echo of your heart. Kylo Ren was less than three paces from you and all you could do was endure the sensation of a singular ruby droplet following the line of your artery, dragging past your clavicle, and ghosting the skin over your sternum. The crimson trail began to dry, steps no longer sounding when you forced yourself to look up.

Chaos tore into the base of your spine, every nerve ending firing at the sight of his bare face, no helmet to veil the visage you had memorized. The black strip rested in prominence, striking through his features; in it you found a curious attraction, finding it fit him. The wound was less severe now, healing with time. He wore no helmet, but that by no means meant there was no mask keeping him at a distance only he knew the measure of.

“Where have you been, officer?” Cyanosis was a likely reality, breath still evading you as each word fell in baritone; petrified pupils not knowing where to focus. “Your services finally required, and yet you were nowhere to be found.”

Nothing. No words. No sound. No thoughts. Barren in every aspect of cognizance, you remained silent and still, only knowing to perceive him for what he was: superior.

A twitch at his brow, a narrowing of his eyes. Studying. Testing. “How unfortunate; starved for words when they would actually count.” His injury moved fluidly against his words, a beauty in the way it ebbed with each syllable.

A ping sounded at your waist, commlink buzzing in your pocket.

Languid, Kylo’s eyes dipped toward the sound. “You should get that,” he drawled, eyes twitching before conquering yours once more, “could be important.”

His tone haunted you, demeanor too suggestive. You swallowed against a dry throat, locked in his stare, knuckles brushing your watch when you took out your commlink. It trembled in your grip, shocked muscles heavy with weakness. His concentration had become adamant, palpable, an eyebrow prompting your attention to whatever message had triggered the alarm.

Concerning the defendant,

In the week since the previous correspondence, it has come to be that the defendant is to partake in nursing practice during her time on Canto Bight. This allows the Board of Physicians ease in collecting surveillance imperative to their final judgement.

Commander Ren’s decision to bar the defendant from external practice has been nullified as to not contradict this process.

In permitting the defendant’s practice while on trial, the objective to obtain a new provider has been benched. Due to this, the defendant shall remain assigned to her current Master while residing on Canto Bight…

At last, breath flourished your lungs, an inadvertent gasp thrusting a glutton of oxygen into your airway. Crazed eyes darted over the message for any sign of a mistake that would prove it to be falsified; the only thing you could find was finality, a document containing the proposed schedule attached at the end of the message.

A buzz washed through your brain, overstimulated by the information, everything around you suddenly all too close and bright. Jaw bound shut but still trembling, eyes low and unfocused, a familiar pressure flicked just under your chin. The Force tipped your face upward, pupils strict in their position, passing first over a tense jaw and landing at last on the challenge that lay behind Kylo Ren’s glare.

“I’ll see you on Canto Bight, officer.” A serpentine smirk slithered along his lips, one stride bringing him so his face was hidden, shoulder linked with yours, and fingers jut out to graze at the hidden permanence atop your left thigh. His voice, an onslaught of emptiness, a cold threat, suffocated all that surrounded you. “You wanted to give me more? Prove it.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #ao3 #st kyp

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fanaticalfollower · 4 years ago

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Hey everyone!

I just wanted to get on here once again and thank you guys for being so amazing 💜 The support and love you guys have sent over this trying month has meant more than you will ever know. When I announced my break I expected some lean on me for updates and new chapters but I've honestly been met with nothing but kindness and respect during this difficult time.

Your kind messages, well wishes, and encouragments for me to take care of myself and take as much time as I needed, came at a time where I really needed to hear those things and I am so grateful.

Now for the good news.

While the last month has been, in a word: stressful, there is finally an end in site. I'll be wrapping things up in the middle of this week and officially be done with the whole situation for quite a while.

I'm so grateful for your guys patience and understanding. I'm grateful for your continued love of my work, for those of you have continued to like, subscribe, follow and even reread my past work/chapters in my absence. I love your guy's enthusiasm for what's to come next in my series in a way that doesn't feel aggressive or pushy. I'm in awe daily of how incredibly nice my little community is. Having come from toxic fandoms in the past and just being a writer in general you're always scared of people losing interest or becoming impatient with you. I'm completely proud to say I've received nothing but positivity. So thank you 💜

I couldn't be happier, more uplifted or excited. I feel like new energy has brought into my life and I couldn't be more pumped or inspired to get back to doing what I love, and just be able to write again.

So starting next Sunday (April 25th) I will be uploading Chapter 7 of Blue Hawaii and hopefully be jumping back into regular uploads for the last half of this series!

I can't wait for you guys to read everything I've been working on. There's so much I'm excited to share!And as an added thank you for you being so great, I'm going to include a 300 word sneak peek at CH 7.

💜

Owen takes a long sip from his mug, letting the scolding liquid warm his insides like a hug. He hums contently. "Have I told you lately how amazing I think you are?" Owen asks peeking over the rim as he goes in for another taste.

Charlie's brow rises and his eyes widen. "I don't think you've ever told me how amazing you think I am." While Charlie is processing his shock Owen has already downed half his cup. "So coffee is the key to your heart?"

Owen finally removes the porcelain rim from his lips. "I'm a disaster bisexual with diagnosed anxiety. If tiktok has taught me anything it's that I'm kinda required to be addicted to coffee," he sarcastically quips. Charlie immediately busts out laughing. He's laughing so hard it comes out nearly silent, his eyes crinkle at the corners, and his smile is so big Owen can practically see his entire top row of pearly, white teeth.

Owen just watches the beautiful brunette laugh. He loves that laugh. He smiles and stares until Charlie is wiping the tears from his eyes and trying to catch his breath. "You're so stupid," the older boy jabs at him. "Eat your fucking breakfast," he demands. He reaches forward to take the mug from Owen so the self proclaimed 'disaster bisexual' can dig in.

Owen cuts a corner off his omelet and shoves it in his mouth. He moans around the morsel to the delight of Charlie. "So what's all this about?" Owen asks and he cuts another bite off.

"I just figured you're gonna need your energy."

Owen freezes with the fork still in his mouth. He slowly pulls the tines from between his lips as he analyzes his boyfriend's cryptic features. "I'm scared to ask why," Owen says around a mouthful.

"We're going out."

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #charlie gillespie #chowen #charlie x owen #jatp #julie and the phantoms #blue hawaii #my fic writing #my ao3 #my ao3 works #myfic #i love you guys #💜

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doodlelolly0910 · 6 years ago

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Once Upon a Christmas Eve

A/N: Merry Christmas @princesswan I was your Secret Santa this year! I hope you like this little piece I've put together for you and I hope it posts correctly (I've never queued anything before lol). Thanks to @cssecretsanta2k18 for putting together such an awesome event!

*This is unbeta'd and any mistakes are my own*

“It started with a kiss.

Well, to be most accurate, it started a bit before that, as many fairytales do.

Let's just start from the beginning, shall we?

Once upon a time, there was a boy. A man, really. And the man, while devilishly handsome, was very lonely.

Now, the man was very fortunate and he had many friends. He had a job he loved working on a great ship, an older brother who he was very close with, but something was missing. Let's call the man Killian.

It was the start of the Christmas season, not so very long ago, and Killian was feeling especially low. He had just broken off his engagement with a woman who he thought he was very much in love with and, in complete honesty, he was feeling quite sorry for himself. So he decided to meet his friend at the local… tavern. Killian had been waiting for his friend to show up for almost an hour that cold winter’s night and he was beginning to get impatient. He had already drank far too much, er, eggnog that night and he was in a mood of sorts. Killian was sure his friend, the idiot Will Scarlett, had blown him off completely. So he sat alone and drank his eggnog in relative peace.

Killian was sure he was broadcasting his ill aura to all around him, souring the Christmas spirit in the air with his grinchiness, but, as it turned out, he was mistaken. He heard a voice from behind him.

‘Buy you another?’ it said and when Killian turned around, there was a beautiful blonde woman standing behind him. Now, Killian was no shy lad, but remember, he was intent on wallowing in his sorrows this particular evening and he was very much not interested in company. Unless, of course, Will bloody Scarlett had deigned to grace the tavern with his presence so Killian could give him a piece of his mind.

So he told the woman, ‘No, thank you, lass. I'm waiting on someone.’ But the woman was persistent, intent on getting Killian's attention.

‘You have an accent! English?’ she asked in her own accent, Australian, perhaps, but that's inconsequential. Killian was trying to be polite, but he had little patience for anyone that evening. Nevertheless, he was a gentleman, and a gentleman mustn't be rude to a fair lady if he can avoid it.

‘Aye,’ he told her, because he had come from England with his brother, Liam, Scarlett, and his former fiancée about ten years before because the ship of his dreams had gone up for sale in a city called Boston, but he didn't have the money to buy the ship and have it brought to England. So he came to it instead.

‘You're cute,’ the woman told him shamelessly, placing her hand on his arm. ‘Are you sure you don't want another drink?’

Killian looked at the woman again. He could feel how fake his smile was but he just couldn't bring himself to be any friendlier to the poor girl in his sorry state.

‘I'm quite sure, love, thank you,’ he said. ‘I'm still working on this one and, as I said, I'm waiting for someone.’

The woman looked undeterred, perhaps having had too much eggnog herself that evening, and she moved closer to him. ‘You've been alone all night, I don't think she's coming,’ she told him and Killian was beginning to get very uncomfortable. He began looking around the tavern for exits he could possibly make his escape through when a hand landed on his opposite arm.

‘There you are,’ a new melodic voice said and when Killian turned, he found himself stunned into speechlessness, for surely he was now in the presence of an angel.

There before him stood the most beautiful creature he had ever encountered. Her long blonde hair fell in golden curls over her shoulders, hiding the buttons of the form fitting red sweater she wore. She had green eyes, the kind that sparkled with mischief, but were also deep and soulful, like she'd lived a much harder life than most but came out a stronger person on the other side. She was cool and confident, exuding a radiant inner beauty that was only matched by her breathtaking external features. Killian had never in his life seen a more lovely lass than she.

‘I've been looking all over for you,’ she said, her hand wandering up Killian's shoulder as she tucked herself into his side. He was absolutely gobsmacked, be it from her presence or the ru- er, eggnog he'd been drinking, he'd never know, but that didn't stop him from racking his fuzzy brain trying to remember why she might have sought him out. ‘Who's this?’ she asked, nodding her dimpled chin to his other side and suddenly Killian remembered the other woman.

She was a pretty, spritely thing, but she couldn't hold a candle to the angel. The first woman, Killian had noticed, was now upset, but refusing to relinquish her hold on his arm, despite the angel's clear claim being staked.

‘I'm the one who kept him company while he was sitting up here all by himself,’ the woman said, quite nastily. The angel was unperturbed, her hand finding the back of his neck, and he was unashamed to say the simple touch gave him goosebumps.

‘Well, thanks for keeping my boyfriend company, I appreciate it. Can we buy you a drink?’ the angel asked and put her arms around Killian's shoulder, clearly staking her claim. He shrugged and played along with his savior. He allowed himself to touch her for the first time and slipped his own arm around her waist. It felt right, having her in his arms. Like she just fit there.

‘He never mentioned a girlfriend,’ the other woman said.

‘Well, here I am,’ the angel replied. ‘And we are going to go find a table, if you didn't need anything else.’ She grasped the hand Killian had on her waist in her own and began to pull him away. The other woman tugged on his other arm and held him in place. The look that came over his savior’s face, one of challenge and dark amusement, was one he would never forget.

Before Killian even knew what was happening, the blonde avenger had seized Killian by the collar of his jacket and her lips met his. He felt like he'd come alive again, months of heartache melting away as she kissed him. He couldn't help but to kiss her back, completely giving in to the spark that had ignited between them. Beneath the kiss itself, which was earth shaking enough as it was, a glimmer of hope rekindled in his soul.

Killian didn't notice, being too enraptured by his savior angel and their kiss, but the other woman had left without another word. The angel pulled away from him and gave him a beautiful smile, then patted him on the shoulder.

‘You looked really uncomfortable,’ she told him. ‘Sorry if I overstepped.’

Killian was surprised by her apology, having thought his gratefulness had been written all over his face. He needed to let the angel know he appreciated her.

So he told her, ‘Not at all. I wasn't amenable to company this evening and she wasn't getting the hint, clearly. I'm just fortunate that you came along to save me.’

She smiled at Killian again, a dazzling smile that lit up her gorgeous green eyes from within. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was and he thought for a moment the eggnog might have had him hallucinating.

‘You're welcome, then,’ the angel replied. ‘I better get back to my friends, but it was nice to meet you…’

‘Killian,’ he filled in for her. ‘Killian Jones.’

She nodded, that lustrous curtain of golden curls moving with her.

‘Well, Killian Jones, I hope you have a good rest of your night.’ And with that, she turned to walk away. Killian wasn't quite ready for her to go yet. In complete honesty, he wouldn't have minded if she never left his side, which was a silly thought to have about someone you've just met, but he couldn't help himself. So he called out to her.

‘Am I worthy to know the name of my savior?’ he asked. The angel looked over her shoulder as she walked away and said but two simple words that would change his life forever.

‘Emma Swan.’

Killian was sure he was grinning like a fool at just the sound of her lovely name as he cashed out his tab with the bar keep, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

That night, he was absently thumbing through his Facebook app when a friend request came through from a name he didn't recognize. Someone called Ruby Lucas. As one should always be wary of these kinds of things, he didn't accept right away. Instead, he went to do some investigating to try and figure out who this strange woman was that sent him a request.

He went to her page and looked at her profile picture to see if he recognized the lass, but he didn't. She was very pretty, long brown hair, a little too much makeup, but Killian couldn't place her. So he swiped through a few more of her pictures. When he got to about the third or fourth picture, he was shocked to see a face he did recognize staring back at him.

There, in the middle of a group picture that seemed to have taken place at some sort of hen party, was Emma, the angel. He could hardly believe his luck. He scrolled back up and selected the accept button on the friend request, and he absolutely did not drop his phone in his haste. Killian Jones is a calm, collected, rational man.

No sooner had he accepted the request did a message come through, an eloquent ‘hey there’’ blinking at him from the screen. He replied with a ‘hello’ of his own. Ruby asked him if he'd been in the tavern that evening and Killian confirmed he had been. Ruby then replied with just one more thing and promptly logged off. The message said: ‘Rabbit Hole, 12/24, 7:00 PM. Emma will be there. You should come.’

Killian was completely taken aback by this turn of events, but he could only jump at the chance to see the angel again, so he made sure his schedule was clear. He wasn't due at his brothers until Christmas Day, fortunately and that left him wide open for whatever it was that Ruby had requested him for.

The night of the Christmas Eve came and Killian was very nervous. He had changed clothes at least a dozen times and checked the clock at least a dozen more. After he was finally satisfied that he had stalled enough, he made it to the tavern in record time. As not to seem too eager, he decided to sit in the car until 7:00 rolled around.

Now, Killian could definitely say he knew his way around a woman, but Emma had thrown him off so completely that he started having doubts about himself, not that he would let her or anyone know that. When Emma kissed him, it had thrown his world off kilter, but what if she didn't feel the same? What if it was just a kiss to her? What if she was upset that he was there again? As he sat contemplating the situation in his car, a soft tap sounded at the window. Killian looked up and was rendered immediately speechless, a novelty for him, to be certain. There staring at him through the thin separation of the window glass, a gorgeous, albeit laughing, smile on her lips, was Emma.

Killian smiled back, opening the car door and getting out of it immediately. He didn't know what to do or say, but that didn't stop an outlandishly flirtatious ‘hello, love’ falling from his lips. From across the car park, a woman that Killian recognized from her Facebook picture as none other than Ruby Lucas called out some slightly inappropriate encouragement to her friend.

‘So, you're the surprise,’ Emma told him and it took Killian a minute longer than he would have liked to admit to catch her meaning. It wasn't his fault that the second he turned back to look at Emma he was lost in her sparkling, jade colored eyes. It was an eventuality that he’d lose his head around her at some point during the evening.

‘I suppose I am,’ he replied when he had gotten his train of thought back on track. ‘It is lovely to see you again, Emma.’

‘It's nice to see you, too, Killian Jones.’

Killian had a very vivid memory of the night he met her, and he may or may not have looked at the pictures on Ruby's page a time or two in the days since her friend request, but Killian was still struck by Emma's beauty. Snow had begun to fall around them, and with the backdrop of the street lights behind her, she truly looked every inch the angel he initially had thought her to be.

‘You look stunning, love,’ he told her.

‘Thanks,’ she replied in her simplistic way. ‘You look…’

‘I know,’ he said cheekily when she fumbled for a compliment of her own. Her eyes narrowed at him but the corner of her mouth was lifted in amusement. Killian took that as a good sign. ‘Did you want to go inside?’ he asked, not wanting her to stand out in the cold longer than necessary. She agreed and they walked in together.

Once they made it through the door, Emma was greeted by a large group of people. The tavern was decorated in reds and greens, twinkling lights strung all around in the festive spirit of the upcoming holiday. Emma quickly introduced Killian to her friends and her brother, who was only just a tad overprotective of her. Killian has grown on him quite a bit since then, but that's another story for another time.

Killian didn't feel out of place once during the whole evening thanks to Emma. She was guarded, to be certain, but there was an underlying level of comfort amongst her friends that extended to Killian as well. He could tell right away that this was not a courtesy that was extended to many, and it made his heart swell with gratitude and he was just that much more enamored of her.

The activity in the tavern had dwindled down close to midnight and Emma's very merry brother, David, should have been cut off several… eggnogs before he was. But that didn't stop him from threatening Killian as his lovely wife tried to wrestle him out the door.

‘She likes you, Jones,’ he said. ‘And I'll admit you've grown on me, too. But if you hurt her I'm gonna have to declare a duel for her honor, sir. Don't you forget it.’ Killian would have been infinitely amused by the man's threats if he wasn't so elated at his revelation. Emma liked him. And it was all he could have wished for. He spotted Emma from across the floor as she stood bidding farewell to the infamous Ruby Lucas. Their eyes locked from across the room and Killian knew he was done for.

She smiled. He smiled back. Ruby laughed out loud and said something to Emma that made her turn several different shades of red. Killian's feet began to carry him across the room of their own volition. He had tunnel vision on Emma, his angel savior, and he vaguely heard something along the lines of ‘go get ‘er, tiger,’ as Ruby walked past. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her again.

‘Hi,’ she said.

‘Hello, love,’ he said back.

Emma looked up towards the ceiling and Killian followed her gaze. There hanging from an exposed beam was a sprig of mistletoe. Now, if grown men got butterflies, Killian may have had a swarm of them in his stomach, but he would liken what he felt in that moment closer to a school of particularly violent fish swimming in his belly.

‘Merry Christmas, Killian,’ she whispered, her green eyes bright and so full of hope.

‘Merry Christmas, Emma,’ he replied, and took full advantage of the mistletoe tradition. This kiss was much gentler than the first, but no less life changing. The world began and ended with Emma in that moment and he knew that he needed to know her better, wanted her to stay in his life as long as he could keep her. When they broke away from one another, Emma's beautiful eyes fluttered open and Killian couldn't help the smile that was surely plastered all over his face.

‘Do you want to go get some coffee sometime?’ Emma asked. Killian couldn't agree fast enough. Little did either of them know when they walked into the Rabbit Hole that evening that they would be taking the first step towards their happy ever after.”

A soft gurgle and a coo sounded from the small bundle wrapped in Killian's arms. He smiled, his heart full to bursting, and he ran a knuckle over his newborn daughter's ruddy cheek. The babe yawned and squirmed before settling once more.

“A fairytale, huh?” a voice said from behind him. Killian turned to look at his wife with a grin. Emma was propped up on a mountain of pillows in the hospital bed where she lay, tired but happier than he'd ever seen her. Her hair was knotted in a messy bun on top of her head, her body clad in the standard green hospital gown, tubes sticking out of both arms, and she had never looked more radiant. His love for her had seemed to grow unendingly throughout the entire day, and this moment was no exception.

“Aye, love. My favorite fairytale and my second favorite Christmas Eve. I think this one tops it easily, but that day is a very close second,” Killian agreed. Emma hummed a sigh, her eyes fluttering closed once more and a soft smile on her lips.

“‘Snot the 24th anymore, though,” she said on a yawn. Killian glanced at the clock and saw it was after 1:00 in the morning. He chuckled and walked gingerly to her bedside so as not to jostle the infant in his arms and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“Happy Christmas, my darling. I love you both so very much.”

#captain swan #cs ff #cs ff au #merry christmas #csss2018 #csss 2018

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