#Th' LOsin Streaks

[slovenlyrecordings]

TH' LOSIN STREAKS "I Mean You" (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

Set your cuckoo clocks for 8am PST and catch the YouTube world premier of the brand new video for "I Mean You" by Th' Losin Streaks!

It also happens to be The Underground Garage "Coolest Song In the World" This week... HIP.

Track taken from the "Last House" LP out now!

[musickickztoo]

CONTRA2024 - 1 JANUARY

TRACKLIST: Mean Jeans - Something Going On Th' Losin Streaks - I Mean You Finnoguns Wake - Blue Skies The Hypos - Heartbroke Town House Of All - Aim Higher Split System - The Drain Ducks Ltd. - Train Full Of Gasoline David Nance & Mowed Sound - Mock The Hours Ty Segall - My Best Friend Meatbodies - Move Sprints - Heavy Stuart Pearce - Nuclear Football Holiday Ghosts - Sublime Disconnect The Sleeveens - Aretha Franklin Beans - Calling Chemtrails - Bang Bang Daniel Romano - Field Of Ruins Les Big Byrd - Diamonds, Rhinestone And Hard Rain We Are Joiners - Nosfurraru J Mascis - Right Behind You Kim Gordon - Bye Bye

The 1st playlist of 2024!!

Hear: https://www.mixcloud.com/Contraflow/contra2024-1-january/

TRY IT! YOU MIGHT LIKE IT!!

[bandcampsnoop]

6/18/23.

I would have thought that by this time we would have had a lot more posts that mentioned Slovenly Recordings (Reno, Nevada). Suprisingly, it was only three.

The fourth brings us Spitting Image (also from Reno, Nevada). Slovenly tends to garage/post-punk, and this definitely leans punk/post-punk. I was reading about their release on my Bandcamp app last night, and I remember sitting up while reading that they sound like/are influenced by the likes of Wipers, Gun Club, Television, Gun Outfit, The Men, Spiritual Cramp, and Protomartyr.

I've been listening to this a lot today. It's a fitting way to end the Davis Music Fest. Slovenly band Th' Losin Streaks are playing today.

[wub-fur-radio]

420,000,000 Reefer Fans Can’t Be Wrong Punk Gunk, Garage, Psych & Other Wild Shit — Volume 420

Our annual 4/20 holiday mix — 19 "New Rockophonic" HIGH Fidelity Recordings for your holiday (or any day) listening pleasure. Featuring musical joints from Th' Losin Streaks, Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds, The Cavemen, Astral Magic, Sonnyskyes, Drunk Mums, Mean Jeans, Bass Drum of Death, and 11 more bands who can’t be wrong.

Apologies to The King (still America’s favorite pillhead/narc/rock icon). Legalize Marijuana Everywhere Now! End the War on Drugs!

▶︎🎶 Listen on Mixcloud

Running Time: 59 minutes, 53 seconds

Tracklist

I Mean You (2:50) — Th’ Losin Streaks | Sacramento, CA

This Generation (2:55) — Opinion | Occitanie, France

Flowers On My Grave (2:57) — The Cavemen | Auckland, New Zealand †

The Boy Had It All (3:22) — Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds | Tucson, AZ

Echoes All Around (3:36) — Sun Dial | England, UK †

Let's Take a Ride (4:02) — Astral Magic | Finland †

Clean My Head (3:43) — The Brooms! | Portugal

I'm Flying Too (2:57) — Sonnyskyes | Long Beach, CA

L.S.D. (2:30) — Acid Tongue | Seattle, WA

Something You'll Never Find (3:18) — The Cripplers + Alicja Trout | Memphis, TN

He Lost His Mind (2:47) — The Revox | Switzerland †

Last Day on Earth (2:34) — The Satelliters | Germany

Saturday (1:48) — Drunk Mums | Melbourne, Australia

I Don't Give a Shit Anymore (2:24) — Mean Jeans | Portland, OR †

Mindwater (3:45) — Still Animals | St. Louis, MO

And Here We Are (4:34) — Misty Lanes | Sydney, Australia

Revelations (3:43) — Levitation Room | Los Angeles, CA

White Vine (3:12) — Bass Drum of Death | Mississippi †

This Might Be The End (2:57) — The Decibels | Sacramento, CA †

All tracks released in 2024, except those marked † released 2023.

[antikorpersession]

Antikörper #91 'Streitgeist' Samstag 2.3.2024 23-0:00 ByteFM 📻 In dieser Sendung stellt euch Antikörper Moderator Mark Kowarsch neue Platten vor 📻 Zu Anfang muss natürlich der Namensgeber der Sendung erwähnt werden: das Album 'Streitgeist' von der Band Shutcombo aus Bad Dürrenberg steht seit dem 2.2.2024 in den Plattenläden. 📻 Außerdem gibt es neue Musik von Mean Jeans, Illegale Farben, The Sex Organs, Pisse, Th' Losin Streaks, Bärchen Und Die Milchbubis, Metz, The Children's Hour, Green Day, Drunk Mums, The Sleeveens, Jad Fair, Küken, Briefbombe, Choncy und Streckmittel 📻 Erst rechts auf die Fresse und dann gleich links eine hinterher – so wollte das Jesus doch, oder? 📻

Original Artwork mit freundlicher Genehmigung von Shutcombo 📻

[rosetintedgunman]

February 14th

It was a very busy evening at the Moonlight Roller. Many couples had decided to choose the venue as their date night. And why wouldn't they? Those who favoured the cheesy holiday would be rewarded with bright, heart-shaped decorations, special deals that were literally too good to be true, and plenty of activities to encourage a good night out.

Except... Wilford wasn't anywhere to be found.

That was rather unusual. After all, wasn't this a holiday that was made just for him? It seemed someone else had drawn this conclusion - the person whose home he had crashed.

Dante was not one to observe Valentine's Day, but it was one of the rare times he allowed himself to indulge in a simple pleasure from his human life and read a romance novel on the couch. Wilford was on the floor, one hand holding a joke book in the air as he debated on whether he wanted to read it.

It was... surprisingly peaceful, taking the reporter's eccentricity into account. In fact, it took some time before Dante realised something rather important:

It was a good question, and one that Wilford didn't immediately answer. Instead, he placed the book on his lap and slumped against the piece of furniture.

"I don't think I'm th' expert of love I always claim ta be." Wilford leaned his head back until it lightly pressed against the arm of the couch. "I mean... I know I cared fer Celine an' all, but that love was fake since she didn't love me back. I was just an escape."

-

Dante hummed, closing his book to give his friend attention. "This isn't like you. Normally you'd redirect your attention to your love of your friends."

"True, but I can't really have friends hangin' in a date night zone tonight, can I?"

"I doubt it would be a helpful night to find someone single."

"Nah. With how things have been fer me, it's th' best time ta find that lover, or somethin'. My days are in order, I've barely fallen into other times, an' I'm on a good no-kill streak. I'm practically safe as a baby! But...." The humour in his voice disappeared, leaving a sense of deflation behind. "It's almost as though me bein' like this makes me feel like I gotta keep an eye out an' protect th' chickies."

"The... 'chickies'?"

"Yeah! All th' younger folks goin' through th' loops!"

"I don't think you need to worry about 'age difference' between us and adults of consenting age when those of our fate are unable to feel the progression of time in the same way."

Wilford put his book down so he could roll sideways until he was kneeling against the side of the couch. "What if they think I'm old an' not hot?"

The entity quirked an eyebrow. "You sound ridiculous right now."

"What if I'm losin' my hotness radar an' I can't find anyone of my type 'cause I dunno what that is anymore??" Truly, what a rotten fate!!

Unfortunately, Dante was not the person to lament to. "You act like I know the answer to your problems."

"Yeah. Yer smart."

"But about a matter such as love? I grew up in a loveless family and died a bachelor. I'm not a fountain of knowledge."

Wilford slumped forward until his chin bumped against the couch. "Yeah, I 'spose... I'll get all that figured out in time." That appeared to be the end of it, as his eyes half-focused on one of the back cushions. "Ya think I ever found love in between then and now?"

Dante didn't know the answer. However, he had to give some sort of response.

"Romantically? I think you did. I'm sure you'll remember something about it that will help you remember your 'date skills'."

Wilford chuckled, moving his gaze to Dante. "Yer a good friend, y'know that? I'm gonna help ya find a date. Least I can do." Wilford's offer did not go down well.

"I can barely tolerate myself most days. I won't subject anyone else to do likewise."

[paulisded]

The Ledge #613: First Quarter Recap

During the process of putting together tonight's look back at the first three months of 2024 I suddenly realized that just by looking through the January and February releases I already had more than enough tunes for a two hour show. That's without even taking a look at a jampacked March! 

Obviously, that means I had to cut out quite a few fave songs for tonight's show. My suggestion is for everyone to go back and listen to the new release episodes of the last three months to check out anything missed in tonight's broadcast.

It has been a great year for music, although I confess that I say this each and every year. But the fact is that those who complain that rock and roll was only great in their teen years are just plain wrong. That's a "you" problem. There's something for everyone tonight - ferocious punk, hookladen power pop, a blast or two back to roots rock. There's brand new bands and grizzled veterans. Take a chance and give them a shot!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SHOW!

1. The Silent Treatment - First World Problems

2. Shadow Show - Your Fantasy

3. Waxahatchee - Ice Cold

4. The Hillbilly Moon Explosion - Sometimes Late At Night

5. The Paranoid Style - I Love the Sound of Structured Class

6. Sarah Shook & the Disarmers - Motherfucker

7. Daniel Romano - Where's Paradise

8. David Nance - Mock the Hours

9. Brent Seavers - Of Poetry

10. Lorne Behrman - The Blue Goes on Forever

11. Ducks Ltd. - Cathedral City

12. Apollo Ghosts - Faded Neil Young Shirt

13. Marc Valentine - Tyrannical Wrecks

14. Mala Vista - 9 Ball

15. Ty Segall - Reflections

16. Charles Moothart - Hold On

17. Meatbodies - They Came Down

18. IDLES - Hall & Oates

19. J Mascis - Can’t Believe We're Here

20. The Jesus And Mary Chain - Venal Joy

21. The Bevis Frond - Gods' Gift

22. TH' LOSIN STREAKS - Me 'n' Z

23. Faz Waltz - The Way You Roll

24. The Sleeveens - Give My Regards to The Dancing Girls

25. Acumen - Hocus Pocus

26. Dartz - Gender Reveal Burnout

27. The Blamers - Sex Trail

28. Christy Costello - Uranium Baby

29. KRYYE - Sanda Duval

30. Sheer Mag - Eat It and Beat It

31. Pouty - Virgos Need More Love

32. Smalltown Tigers - In A Dream (With A Fool Like You)

33. Spiral Heads - Don't Wanna See You Around

34. Pleasants - Interwebs (Sex, Drugs 'n' Theft)

35. Split System - The Wheel

36. Jittery Jack with Amy Griffin on Guitar - Avid Indoorsman

37. His Lordship - I'm So Bored Of Being Bored

[reconprate]

Th’ Losin Streaks

Th’ Losin Streaks “Like To Be Your Man” Last House (02-02-2024)

[parkerbombshell]

Pulsebeat #351

Mondays 3pm EST bombshellradio.com Archival shows : bombshellradiopodcasts.com Pulsebeat a new release based punk, alt. whatever show out of Abingdon, Oxfordshire broadcasting Mondays 3pm EST bombshellradio.com #Punk #Powerpop Pulsebeat #351 A1       Track No: Time Artist Title 1 00:00:09 The Hillbilly Moon Explosion - Let's Go (Back In Time) 2 00:03:12 The Drowns - Blacked Out 3 00:05:53 The Boomtown Rats - She's So Modern 4 00:09:40 The Undertones - You've Got My Number (why don't you use it ?) 5 00:12:16 Idles - Jungle 6 00:17:25 The Smile - Under Your Pillow 7 00:23:35 Bloodshot Bill, King Khan - Chkn Bvld 8 00:25:17 Th' Losin' Streaks - It's Your Time 9 00:27:57 Hot Water Music - Burn Forever 10 00:30:56 Iguana Death Cult - I Just Want A House 11 00:35:57 Laura Jane Grace - Mercenary 12 00:38:22 English Teacher -  R & B 13 00:42:09 Can - Vitamin C 14 00:45:42 Ol' Burger Beats - Out Of Time (ft. Lil Camille) 15 00:48:13 Metz 99 16 00:51:32 Bar Italia - Nurse! 17 00:56:14 Flat Duo Jets - Crazy, Hazy Kisses (live) Read the full article

[kilowogcore]

Kilowog's "There's No Party Here Officer, Just A Revolution" music festival has reached th' half-way point, but we're still goin' strong!

Jonathan Coulton is best known fer writin' fun, quirky, nerdy songs, but he's got a subversive streak that I love, like in this perky, cheery song about a nice couple losin' all hope an' sinkin' inta despair 'cause a the utter horror a capitalist suburbia. An if ya ain't never been middle class enough fer the suburbs, yeah, it's like that.

[slovenlyrecordings]

DEBAUCH-a-ReNO 2023 - the Sticker Guy! 30th Anniversary bash!

Slovenly Recordings and WE'RE LOUD FEST proudly present DEBAUCH-a-ReNO 2023 - the Sticker Guy! 30th Anniversary bash!

————————— PART 1: June 16-17-18 in RENO (duh!), Nevada, USA —————————

— appearing LIVE —

The MUMMiES (San Bruno, California)

the KIDS (Belgium! first USA gig in almost a decade)

The ZEROS (Chula Vista, California)

Deadbolt (San Diego, California)

The Trouble Makers (Sacramento, California)

* also celebrating 30 years!

Eddie and The Subtitles (Reno!)

The Okmoniks (Arizona / San Francisco)

LO-LITE (Netherlands)

PUPPY and the HARD JABS (Arizona)

SPITTING IMAGE (Reno!)

The Saturday Knights (Reno!)

Just Head (San Francisco)

CLARKO (Reno!)

TUBE ALLOYS (Los Angeles)

The Juvinals (Reno!)

PUSSY VELOUR (Reno!)

– with DJs —

DEBBIE D of Boss Radio 66! (NYC) TONY the TYGER (Oceanside, Calif) VIVI MARTIAN (Las Vegas) PETE SLOVENLY (Reno!) and more to be announced

at WINGFIELD PARK AMPHITHEATER (Downtown Reno, approx 2p-10p) afterparties at CYPRESS (‘Midtown’ Reno 10p-4am)

————————— PART 2: Friday July 14th in VIRGINIA CITY, Nevada, USA —————————

— appearing LIVE —

Wild Billy Chyldish & CTMF  (England – only USA gig in 2023!)

Subsonics (Atlanta, Georgia)

Th' Losin Streaks (Sacramento)

— with DJs —

BAZOOKA JOE (Las Vegas / KC) and more to be announced at Piper's Opera House (Virginia City) established 1863 (Nevada Historical Marker No. 236)

????????? QUESTIONS ?????????

TICKETS will go on sale in late March, and capacity will be limited – subscribe to our email list and we’ll send you a link – you’ll have first chance to grab yours! https://sloven.ly/subscribe

ACCOMMODATION – we’ll provide information / tips for both Reno & Virginia City in late March

JUNETEENTH: June 19th is now a FEDERAL HOLIDAY (aka Emancipation Day / Black Independence Day) — certainly something to celebrate with a 3-day weekend!

LINEUP – the Mummies will play Saturday — other than that, we’re not sure who is playing on which day just yet!  Booking for more bands is closed, sorry.

MORE QUESTIONS? wereloudfest@slovenly.com

https://www.slovenly.com/wereloudfest #wereloudfest #debauchareno #skeeno #reno #garage #punk #rocknroll #stickerguy

[musickickztoo]

CONTRA2024-2 RIFF RAFF

TRACKLIST:

Hurray For The Riff Raff - Snakeplant (The Past Is Still Alive) Th' Losin Streaks - Secret Love Brad Marino - A.D.H.D. Rip Van Winkle - Prose Kaiser En Attendant Ana - Red Sleeping Beauty Ducks Ltd. - The Main Thing Billiam - Sleeping In The Mountains Itchy & The Nits - Square The Cavemen - Personal WWIII J Mascis - I Can't Find You Daniel Romano - Chatter David Nance & Mowed Sound - Credit Line The Hypos - Past Life Woman Mean Jeans - Break Up With You Shannon and the Clams - The Moon Is In The Wrong Place Split System - Underground Wild Billy Childish & The Chatham Singers - Ranscombe Farm Boogie Silicon Heartbeat - 555

The 2nd playlist of the year!!

HEAR: https://www.mixcloud.com/Contraflow/contra2024-2-riff-raff/

TRY IT! YOU MIGHT LIKE IT!!

[arjaandsimoni]

McSpooky

Nelen sat in the Wulfshead Club, staring at his phone.

“… are they joking?” he muttered, tilting his head slowly.

“I dunnae cous, but it sure sounds desperate.” nodded Loren.

“… its just… I just got Scooby Doo’d, I know they watch the BBS like a hawk after someone gets one of those.” he said, re-reading the listing again.

Loren shrugged, “I’ve already taken on ah job or else I’d be lookin’ inta this ‘un. Th’ reward is peanuts, but… aye, its got me interest.” she nodded, “ ‘parently th’ manager is really losin’ ‘er shite over it.”

“Its… its just so damn silly though…” he re-read it for the fifth time, making a face.

Dawn padded back over, carrying a fresh cup of cream, taking a seat, “Ooooh, we find a fun one?” she grinned, then looked at the phone, then she snorted in surprise, “… what.” she raised her eyebrow.

“… a McFlurry machine in Provo, Utah is apparently haunted. Three of their patrons got possessed and Ronald McDonald fled from the building with blood coming out of his eyes, screaming in Aramaic.” he read again. The attached picture showed a five-year-old kid climbing along the ceiling spewing green with his head facing entirely the wrong way.

“Man, the Hamburgler is REALLY upping his game…” nodded Dawn.

Nelen looked it over again, then his thumb tapped the ‘accept’ button at the bottom of the listing as he finished off his coke, waiting for Dawn to drink her cream, “Fuck it… I just gotta know…”

Provo Utah, the Next Day

The McDonald’s was currently closed ‘for repairs and maintenance,’ Nelen could only assume that someone had greased a lot of palms to ensure that sign didn’t say ‘by order of the board of health’ instead.

Standing before him was the manager, a heavyset woman in her 40s, currently in just a teeshirt and jeans. She had long curly hair down to her elbows and looked rather upset to say the least. “I’d never seen anything like it in my life! I thought I was gonna get sick! That poor Thompson kid was cursing a blue streak whenever he wasn’t puking up pea soup everywhere! His parents threatened a lawsuit and everything!” she wailed, tugging at her hair, “Corporate is threatening to shut down the store now and I can’t be out of a job, nobody else around here is hiring!” she shook her head frantically.

Nelen nodded, “Yeah… I can imagine. Having Little Timmy turn into Reagan from the Exorcist tends to put people off finishing their McNuggets.” he replied, looking over the McFlurry machine, examining it top to bottom, then standing up, taking a cup, and pouring himself some.

He looked closely at it and saw the ice cream swirling before him to make out a skull like grimace. At the edge of their hearing was a faint ‘it huuuuuurts’ that seemed to echo on the wind.

“Yeeeeeup, that’s a ghost alright.” he nodded, taking it to the sink and chucking it in, then running the hot water. The lost soul screamed as it vanished down the drain with the vanilla ice cream. “But how the hells did it get in there?” he muttered, then looked over at her, “There a graveyard near here? The fences should be sanctified but I swear nobody does proper maintenance anymore.”

The manager shook her head, “Nope! Closest one is halfway across town!”

Nelen frowned, “Hmm… maybe somewhere that people die at… is there a hospital maybe? Hospice? Anything?” he asked.

She thought, then nodded, “Yeah actually! Utah Valley is just a few streets over!” she said, “You don’t think they’ve got something to do with this somehow?”

Nelen shrugged, “It’s a starting point if anything. Ghosts have to come from somewhere and if this thing is still haunted then that means there’s a steady flow. I’ll have to check out their morgue.” he nodded.

“… uh… I don’t think they’ll let just anyone in there…” she said.

Nelen smirked, Dawn grinning around a mouthful of pilfered Fillet o Fish. “Don’t worry about it.”

Utah Valley Hospital Morgue, around one in the morning

Nelen and Dawn crept around the corner, the guard who had been standing watch currently running back up the halls chasing after winged lottery tickets as Dawn put her sunglasses back in place. “Since when do we care if we’re let in?” she grinned, twirling his key-ring on her finger, the Cheshire having pilfered it when she zapped him in the eyes.

“Lets just hurry before it wears off.” said Nelen as he walked into the room, looking around. Dead bodies, freezers, and a cremation oven, as well as autopsy tools. Standard kit for most hospitals these days.

As they examined the room he paused, noticing one of the doors where they put the bodies was rattling. He walked over to it and read the tag, then sighed and walked to a nearby fridge.

Nelen took out a medical bag full of blood, then walked back to the door and opened it, yanked the bed out, and stuffed the blood bag over the face of the body inside.

There was a sound like bubble wrap being popped, then the bag slowly emptied. A minute later the corpse sat up and pulled it off its mouth. It was a young woman, currently naked (because why waste clothes on a corpse,) and looking rather embarrassed. “Um…” she mumbled, looking around worriedly.

“Door is that way, they leave the personal effects across the hall usually. Tell whoever your sire is to keep better damn track of where he leaves people when he tries to turn them.” he sighed.

“… t-thanks.” blushed the newly risen vampire, getting up and quickly scurrying out of the room.

Nelen shook his head, “You think vampires would be more careful around Mormon Country.” he muttered, taking out an object on a string from his bag and holding it out.

Dawn shrugged at him, “Maybe ‘magic underpants’ don’t hurt them so much?” she suggested, looking at what Nelen was holding.

The object in question was a small glass vial on it, and inside that was a mostly melted McFlurry from the same machine. “Alright… lets see…” he nodded, watching it swirl infront of him, then point… he walked across the room only for it to point the other way. He paused, confused, then walked back, then back again, then back again, then finally looked down and sighed.

Under his feet was a manhole cover built right into the floor of the morgue, “Shit. We gotta go into the sewers again.” he sighed, putting the object back in his bag, then fishing out a crowbar.

He knelt down, jamming it into the manhole cover, then with a loud grunt pried it free in one go. Leverage was an issue, but a Fullmoon was strong enough to do a lot of stuff already. Dawn grinned and vanished down the hole, Nelen following her down the ladder.

This sewer was a lot less nice than the one he’d chased the fake ghost through, the warlock gagging at the smell. “Ugh…” he waved his hand infront of his face as Dawn whined, covering her nose with her shirt as her tail floofed out.

There was still a narrow passage along the sides of the tunnels, but there was plenty of worrying stuff flowing under it. He took out a flashlight and looked around, then tapped Dawn’s shoulder and pointed at a wall.

Drawn on it in what looked like chalk was a complex pentagram with two focal points, an arrow leading inwards from the morgue above, and an arrow pointing outwards down the tunnels. They nodded at each other, then set off through the sewers.

Every few tunnels they found another pentagram, and each time it was the same theme, arrow pointing in, arrow pointing out. Eventually however…

Nelen paused infront of a pentagram on a wall, pointing to it. There was a damaged water line above it and part of the top had washed away.

Dawn looked at it, “Huh… hey Nelen? Are we…” she asked.

He nodded, holding out his phone. Google maps was open. “Yep. We’re directly underneath that McDonald’s.” he replied, “Looks like the haunting was an accident.”

She nodded, looking down where the arrow was pointing. “Circle sprung a leak, but where does this go then?” she asked.

Nelen shrugged, then jerked his head down the tunnels, “Lets find out.” he grunted.

They continued on for quite a ways, heading in what seemed to be a northeasterly direction, and eventually the pentagram had an arrow pointing upwards, leading to what looked like a self-installed ladder… Nelen looked at his phone, raising an eyebrow, “We’re under a residential area. That’s someone's house above us.” he said, “Be ready Dawn, there could be anything up there.” he warned, the Cheshire nodding.

He climbed the ladder, the cat turning invisible and making her own way up next to him, then he slowly and carefully lifted the manhole cover and looked around.

Standing nearby was what looked like a complex distillery, a funnel set in the ceiling right above where Nelen was standing, and inside of several cases along the wall were a series of wine bottles, each one swirling with what looked like wine… mixed with a trapped soul, the liquid swirling to make out facial features. “Huh…” he whispered, “Bottled ‘spirits.’ But who’s the brewer?” he muttered… then he heard a loud creaking sound, and a huge shape waddled into the room.

“Damn thing isn’t working right! That last batch barely even gave me a buzz!” snarled the newcomer, and Nelen’s eyebrows went up as Dawn hissed next to him.

The newcomer had to disguise themselves normally, he’d bet money on that. They were a huge woman, pushing past morbidly obese all the way to absurdly obese. They shouldn’t even be able to walk at that weight, except they clearly weren’t human.

Shining green skin like copper that had tarnished horribly, massive crimson lips on a frog like mouth, and goat-like horns curling from their head, peeking out of curling hair like spun gold. Their eyes were like a frog’s too, glowing a venomous purple.

"… hey I know them! That’s Igniz!" whispered Merihim in Nelen’s head.

Nelen blinked, whispering under his breath, “Shit, that’s a demon?” he asked.

"Yeah, but they’re low tier. The weaker ones can leave more or less when they want, we let them up to cause mischief and tempt people into summoning the rest of us. She’s one of Beelzebub’s, Gluttony demon." he whispered back.

Nelen’s eyes widened, “Son of a bitch, this is her private wine cellar… she’s stealing those souls to brew them into booze…” he muttered.

Dawn glanced back, “Um… do we really wanna risk pissing off Hell? What if she rats us out to Al?” she asked, her tail swishing anxiously.

"Nah, she’s too low level. Al wouldn’t even give her an audience. She’s no slouch though. She knows enough magic to do some damage and watch out for her tongue." said Merihim.

Nelen blinked, “Her tongue?” he asked as Dawn gave an annoyed hiss. She couldn’t hear Merhim.

"Yeah, lets put it this way, she doesn’t just LOOK like a big ass frog." chuckled the Wrath demon.

Nelen watched for her back to be turned, reaching into his bag, then suddenly jumped out and tossed a pouch at her back, the same ghost-busting trick he’d tried on Walking Sam and the fake ghost. It had blessed silver and candle wax from a church in it after all.

Igniz yelped and clutched at their head as an angry welt quickly formed, then the demoness turned and glared behind her.

Nelen stood, still frozen in the motion from pitching. The attack had hurt the demoness, but apparently it only pissed her off.

"You. Fucking. Idiot." grumbled Merihim. "She’s weak by DEMON standards, SHE’S STILL A DEMON!"

Nelen shrugged, “Uh… lightning bolt? Two points damage?” he tried with a nervous grin, then dove for cover as a massive sticky tongue shot out and slammed into the wall behind where he’d been standing!

The warlock rolled against the wall behind a nearby cabinet, “One day that trick is GOING to work!” he grumbled, then ducked away again as the tongue smashed the cabinet to splinters!

He dug frantically through his bag of tricks as he ran under the stairway leading upstairs. It was a fairly large suburban house, and thankfully the basement did offer some opportunities for fleeing as the massive bulk of Igniz chased after him. She may be a demon but it seemed she couldn’t move that quickly. “GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT! THAT HURT!” she snarled.

“Dammit dammit dammit…” he grumbled, tossing out a jar of pickled fingers, a bottle of twice mulled unicorn tears, a scroll of secrets unspoken, and a Wendy’s gift card, then his hands closed around something hard. “DAWN! Wizard tank rogue spank!” he shouted, throwing something into the air as the cat caught it and immediately turned invisible.

Igniz rounded the corner at him, glaring, “What the fuck does THAT mean mortal?!” she snarled, opening her massive jaw wide to reveal not one but FIVE rows of razor-sharp fangs, her tongue shooting out of her maw as if fired from a cannon!

Nelen had nowhere to run though, he’d wound up stuck between the wine making still and another cabinet. He held up his hands and braced himself as best he could, but he knew he couldn’t dodge this one! There was a loud yelp and a crash, and he looked out to see a huge wall of swirling crimson infront of him.

“… I didn’t know you could do that.” he muttered. A dome of blood-like liquid covered him there, the warlock looking it up and down.

"Neither did I honestly, none of my hosts tend to last long enough to worry about defense." admitted Merihim.

Igniz glared, “HEY! Is that you Merihim?!” she shouted, “The hell are you doing fucking up my operation?! Can’t a girl just bottle some damn souls in peace?” she growled, stomping forward… but as she did there was a sudden twang, and a wooden crossbow bolt pierced her back from behind. Igniz swirled around to face her new attacker, spotting Dawn in the corner, holding a very small one-handed crossbow, and then suddenly her vision swam and she fell to her knees, coughing as her arms trembled.

Nelen drew Merihim back into his body, then smirked, “Gotcha frogface. All wood crossbow bolt, soaked in holy water. We normally use that for vampires but it should feel like getting poisoned for a demon I’d imagine.”

The demoness gagged, retching onto the floor and leaving a steaming puddle of bile, a second later it ate through the foundation of the house!

“G-GUGHETITOUTTAME!” she demanded, trying to claw the bolt free, but it was lodged too far between her shoulders, her stubby arms couldn’t reach it!

“Go to Hell.” he replied, then paused, “… that wasn’t an insult, that was literal declaration. We’re not pulling it out. You want it out you’ll have to disincorporate and, literally, go back to Hell.” he clarified.

Igniz roared in fury, but her body felt like it was on fire now, the holy water’s essence spreading through her blood like some horrible venom. It was starting to hurt to breathe! “You… little shits… how did you find out?” she gasped.

“Should’ve done proper maintenance. One of your circles got damaged and a bunch of souls escaped into a McDonald’s. Hard to miss a news story like that.” he nodded. “But hey, you get to brag to your buddies back downtown that you traumatized an entire pack of kindergartners on a field trip and made a corporate mascot get an emergency exorcism.”

“D-dammit…” she gagged, then chuckled, “… that… actually almost makes it worth it…” she coughed again, then suddenly her body simply fell apart into a mass of insects, all of them rushing towards the sewers as her infernal essence vanished back into the depths of the Pit.

Nelen swore and stomped any that came near him as Dawn teleported onto the ceiling until the swarm dissipated… then they walked back to the wine rack and looked it over.

“Sheesh, look at this. What the hell are we gonna do with all these? There’s gotta be at least thirty of ‘em. Do we just pour ‘em over the graves or what?” he asked.

Dawn shrugged, “Nah, that’ll take forever, and we’ll have to find a way to get ‘em outta here.” she replied, then reached onto a nearby table, “When in doubt, just smash the damn thing.” she grinned, holding up a claw hammer that had been sitting there.

Nelen shrugged, “Fuck it.” he replied, then he looked over at the still, lashed out with a tendril, and yanked the whole thing hard onto its front as Dawn smacked the bottles, one after another, until the floor was thick with red. Afterwards, they retraced their steps through the sewers and Nelen poured a bottled water over the circle under the morgue, breaking the circuit.

After a lengthy shower back at their hotel room that even Dawn didn’t gripe about (she hated getting wet but she sure as hells wasn’t going to clean the normal way after a romp through a sewer system) and some well-deserved rest they reported in to the manager that morning.

McDonald's Dining Room, the Next Morning

“Yeah, looks like it’s back to normal thank God…” she sighed in relief, “So what the hell did that?” she asked him.

“Exactly.” he nodded, then said, “Just… look you’re happier not knowing. Its sorted out now though. It was a freak occurrence and shouldn’t be anything worth worrying abo-…” he started, then there was a crash outside and a werewolf ran up the road infront of the restaurant, barking madly.

“… ah hell, the Frozen Coke up at Burger King must be on the fritz again. Third time this week.” grumbled the manager, “Ah well, not my damn problem.” she shrugged.

Nelen and Dawn watched the lycanthrope out the window, then turned to her, “… a frozen coke turned someone into a werewolf?” he asked incredulously.

“Naw, that’s just old Ray Buford. Guy loses his shit if he can’t get his frozen coke.” she nodded.

Nelen blinked, “… huh, um… okay then.” he replied. Dawn just shrugged, drinking down the last of her McFlurry. As any frontline customer service worker will tell you some customers can be real monsters, especially when the unexpected happens or they can’t get what they want. Just part of the job really.

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Tales From The Drop Box Episode 151 (2019-18)

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