#Textbooks and whiskey shots { Caleb x Aiden ; College }

[soulxism-archive]

Perfect Doesn’t Last

@ruthlessnessisyourdesire - Plotted starter  - Verse: Post College ( Military route ) 

Love is such a fragile thing, one step, and that love would fall into darkness. Always a dance but love was always a two-way street, “No!” Aiden always thought he was doing the right thing, that this was what he was supposed to do in his life. He thought Caleb would understand, would support him but perfect doesn’t last and as he stood in the airport alone he wondered how he once felt like he was on top of the world with Caleb Stern. 

They were untouchable, met by chance, and fallen into a perfect dance but he was wrong as he stood in the departure gate with just a ghost of a hand in his, fingers brushing against his cheek as he closed his eyes. “No! Aiden, I don’t support this! You’re going away to die! You’re going to fight for a system that won’t give a shit about you!” He felt his hand curl into fists as he recalled, “you had a life playing soccer! What the fuck do you think you’re proving going off to be a hero?! Sure as hell know I won’t be there to wait for you! I won’t be there to see you die! So fuck you, Barnes, go off and die for all I care, we’re done!” 

The moment he stepped into the plane he knew his life would change. 

[ One year later ] 

Aiden returned from basic duty and with the help of his friend Gavin, he surprised Connor, Markus, and Cassius with his arrival. Smiling as he hugged his friends he noticed a pair of eyes on him and when he turned his head and saw Caleb his smile slowly fell, quickly looking away he let them drift further apart as he carefully picked the pieces of his shattered heart up. It was his fault for leaving, it was his fault. 

His short time back was spent with his family and his friends, all of whom took a trip down to Texas for one last hoorah before Aiden had to take off again. One more year into the heart of the beast and as he stood in the airport, this time with people he loved his heart grew numb as that one person was nowhere in sight. With a smile, he hugged his friends and his sister and picked up his duffle bag before leaving for a land where no one knew who was a friend or foe.

[ Ten years later ] 

As he fought to keep his eyes open, he tried recalling Caleb’s eyes, his smile, or his laughter. He had written letters to his friends and sent them off, their lives moving on as he fought on foreign soil, friends marrying and starting a family. Missing important milestones, Aiden had written his letters and hiding the truth from those he cares about. That he made a mistake. He never asked Connor or Cassius how Caleb was doing, he didn’t want to hold onto a hope that was no longer there, he always wondered if the other found someone else. Someone who wouldn’t fuck off to the Marines. 

Then the explosions happened, his convoy was ambushed and his team was trapped, the ringing in his ears hadn’t stopped when he saw a pair of arms grab him. His left side on fire as he whispered an I’m sorry to a ghost of his past. 

Cassius, walked up to his brother with shaking hands as he felt tears roll down his face, “Emily called… Aiden… he’s...Missing in action, they fear the worst.” the shattering of glass echoed throughout the house as the brothers turned to look at a wide-eyed Caleb. 

“So fuck you, Barnes, go off and die for all I care, we’re done!” 

Aiden didn’t know how long he was captured, a slight movement and he was coughing blood he looked at his captors in the eyes and spit blood on their faces, again and again, he was hit as he weakly tried to protect himself with whatever limbs he had left. He didn’t look at his left side, he didn’t want to look at the stump of his left arm or his leg. He didn’t want to hate himself even more than he did. 

“You were right Caleb... “ 

Although he wrote letters to his friends and family, he also wrote letters to Caleb, never sent he allowed his weakness to flow into those letters. Yet, it was too late now, if he died he would die as Caleb had wanted. Maybe in another life, he would be smarter and stay home. He wouldn’t go off to prove something, to fuck his life up with pain and suffering. Hell, if he took that offer to play with Barcelona he would be at the top. 

He took a glance at his leg and felt a single tear roll down his face, This was his fault. He ruined himself and he stopped trying to protect himself, his right arm falling to the side as the punches and the hot metal rod hit his torso. He bit his lips to stop the screams as he closed his eyes, wanting to die. 

That’s the funny thing about death, no matter how much you wish for it, it never comes and Aiden was one whom Death spared, he returned as a hero while his darkness was covered up by medals and awards. His left arm and leg missing from the service he gave, his sacrifice to a war that was futile. 

He returned a dead man, not even his sister recognized him. Once a vibrant youth he was a jokester, always with a smile on his face and an arm around his friends. Now, he sat in his wheelchair as he looked out of the window with eyes clouded with why. He didn’t let his friends visit him, he knew he was being unfair but the moment he saw the pity in their eyes he let his anger out on them. His hands found his newest demon as he drank his weight in whiskey, wanting to forget, to numb, to die. 

Yet death never came. 

Between Cassius and his sister, they collaborated on help Aiden in any way possible. A Veteran expo was hosted by a prestigious biotech company, showing off their shiny new prosthetic and they invited all members of the armed forces to attend. Aiden didn’t want to go but he found that he didn’t have the strength to resist. His current prosthetic hurting him more than helping as he chose to sit in his wheelchair and let Cass push him around. After everything he had done to his friends, the guilt sitting heavily in his chest he didn’t know why Cass still visited him, still tried. 

Wearing his military brown training shirt, his dog tags weighing heavily on his neck and cargo pants his fingers wrapped tightly against the fabric as he could feel the stares on him, the whispers even though the majority of attendees were soldiers like him. 

When he looked up to tell Cassius he wanted to leave he saw the one person he still dream about, Caleb. Wearing his crisp and expensive suit, a devil may care grin, and being his usual self, Aiden felt his heart skip a beat. “Cassius...don’t please…” he whispered as he failed to tear his gaze away at the man. Still as handsome as the first day he met him unlike himself. Broken, pathetic, and full of issues. He always wondered what Caleb would do if he saw him like this, laugh? Sneer? Backhanded edged words that cut deeply into someone’s very soul? He knew Caleb was capable of being cruel but he also knew that wasn’t him.

Maybe he wanted Caleb to look down on him, to break that final piece of his heart so he can leave and sleep forever. 

Those thoughts halted as their eyes locked and the world slowed until it was just them. He was scared, he didn’t want his pity or his charity. He didn’t want Caleb to see him this way and laugh, sneer in his face that he was right. He was scared that he would hurt Caleb with his own viciousness and he tried to move out of Cass’ grip but it was too late.