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harrysdaydreams · 1 year ago

Text

Unsatiated

Summary- Reader finds herself in a low place and has shut out the one person she should know wants to help more than anything. Harry is more than happy to take care of her regardless, which leads to revelations on both parts

Slight angst that ends with fluff that turns suggestive

-Harrys hands gently tug at the hair tie that is somehow still hanging loosely in your hair, letting the tangled strands fall against your back.

He lets out a low whistle, to which you nudge him in the ribs with your elbow causing him to laugh quietly as he tries to separate the matted sections of your hair.

His fingers are soft and careful with your strands, and his use of the brush is even gentler, taking his time to properly ensure every piece of hair is free from knots. The delicate touch of his fingers brushing the back of your neck causes you to let out a gentle sigh, and you unintentionally sink back into his touch.

Word count- 4.3k

Tuesday. Even the word itself sounded mundane and miserable. Throw in some grey skies accompanied by pouring rain, it was a recipe for a shitty day.

Normally you’d crack open a window, light a candle and bask in the fresh sounds of the raindrops hitting the floor of the balcony to your flat.

But it was more than a bad day- the past week you’d been feeling at your lowest, with no real pinpoint as to why. It was hard to find motivation for anything, cooking a nice meal, going outside, reaching out to your friends- several who had messages in your phone left unread- it all just seemed too much.

So here you lay in bed at 1pm, the same place you’d been all day, minus bathroom trips and the tremendous effort it had seemed to have taken to make some instant noodles that still sat on your nightstand uneaten.

You turn over onto your front and sigh into your pillow, having lost count of how many times you’d done the same thing all morning.

Why did everything feel so heavy? This isn’t how you usually responded to feeling low, always opting for surrounding yourself with the people you knew could lift you out of any place, no matter the situation.

Being with people now was the last thing you wanted, especially in your home, with piles of laundry waiting to be washed and dishes to be cleaned.

Uncomfortable on your front, you opt to turn back onto your side, reaching for your phone on the nightstand with the intention of putting on some music to drown out the rain. Hopefully you’d find something that could pull you out of your mood- that or something that further fuelled your angsty state and could maybe push you to finally release the pent-up tears you were too frustrated to shed.

As you scroll through your playlists contemplating what tone to set as you continue rotting in bed for the rest of the day, a text notification pops at the top of your phone.

Harry.

You assume he’s probably double texting you with some sort of snarky message for not replying to your beloved best friend for over two days. Your heart sinks a little as you think of him, his contagious smile and warm personality.

You miss him, and thinking of him is enough to momentarily make you smile as you pull down the notification to read the contents of his message.

Harry- You really gonna leave all four of my messages on delivered? I’m hurt Bitsy, deeply hurt.

You smile at his obvious sarcasm and the stupid nickname he came up with 4 years ago after finding out you were exactly one year, one month and one day apart in age, him being the eldest. He played on the fact that you’re younger than him and ran away with it completely, always making jokes of how small and ‘young’ you are.

Another text notification brings you back from your reminiscing, a new message directly under the one you’d just read.

Harry- Really though, are you ok? The radio silence isn’t normal for you.

Your heart sinks again and you feel bad for leaving your closest friend worrying about you.

Harry- Usually I have to mute our text thread just for some peace..

For the first time in days, you laugh out loud, a genuine smile spreading on your face that crinkles the corner of your eyes.

You- Uhh, RUDE!

Harry- Ahhh she lives!

Fuck, the way he can change your sour demeanour in just a few short messages. You instantly feel stupid for shutting everyone out, especially him.

You- Alive and kickin’! Specifically, your ass for being so rude. I’m okay though, promise old man. Sorry if I made you worry!

Harry- I’ll await my ass kicking whilst shaking in fear. Miss you though. Want me to come over? We missed pizza night on Sunday because someone... lost her phone? Fell off the face of the earth?

The suggestion of him coming over fills you with dread and takes away all of the momentary relief and lift in mood you’d felt just from texting with him.

You could pretend you were okay to a degree over text, but if he came over, he’d take one look at you, or around your flat and know something was wrong. And you wouldn’t even be able to give him a definitive answer why.

You tap the back of your phone with your nails anxiously trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t make him worry more, seeing as you rarely turned down an opportunity to hang out together.

You- Miss you too, H. Raincheck? I feel a migraine coming on. Love you!

Harry- Love you too, Bitsy. Feel better

Feeling guilty, you lock your phone and place it back on the nightstand and try to ignore the new ache in your chest.

Despite your efforts, you scrunch your eyes closed and finally feel the hot sting of tears trail slowly down your cheeks.

You feel terrible for lying to your closest friend, the catalyst to finally unleashing the breakdown that had been sitting inside of you for the past few days as nothing but frustration and restlessness.

Now though, full blown sobs wreck your body as you hug your pillow whilst simultaneously burying your face into it, muffling the sound of your whimpering. You lay like that for a while, your chest rising and falling with every whine and sorry moan.

Finally, you take a series of deep inhales and long exhales to steady your breathing in a vain attempt to calm down.

What the fuck is wrong with me? you think as you wipe the leftover tears from your cheeks, sitting up against the headboard of your bed.

You take a long sip of water from your nightstand to wash away the disgusting taste left in your mouth from your dramatic sobbing.

The ache in your chest feels duller and somewhat lighter after releasing the supressed tears that had previously left you feeling so suffocated.

Now though, the lesser anguish in your chest brings your attention to a new source of pain in your neck, and you curse yourself mentally for laying in bed all day to the point it resulted in making your body sore.

After giving in to the fact you really should move, you stretch your arms above your head and then lift away the duvet from your body, swinging your legs over the side of the bed to sit up properly before sliding on your slippers sat on the floor beside you.

As you go to stand up, you hear a key in the lock of your door and your heart jumps into your throat. You listen for moment longer as the hairs on the back of your neck stand up before realisation dawns on you.

“That fucker!” you whisper, discarding your slippers and leaping back under the duvet to feign being asleep.

Harry was the only person you’d ever given a spare key, so you could only assume his kind natured, stupid, perfect self, had gone out to buy you supplies to get you through your migraine and come to check on you. You should have known better than to lie to him about being sick.

The sound of the door softly closing tells you he’s now inside the flat, followed by him gently calling out your name. You squeeze your eyes shut tighter as your heart beats fast in your chest, trying helplessly to ignore your panic and relax your body in the hope to pass off as being genuinely asleep.

He knocks lightly on your bedroom door which is already propped open with a doorstop, and you hear the rustling of a bag that must contain the supplies he so thoughtfully brought to you. Your eyes sting with tears again, why does he have to be so good?

“Hey love, I’ve brought you some strong ass painkillers and some anti-sickness tablets. How are you feeling?” he asks in a quiet voice; you can detect concern in his tone and that alone makes you want to cry all over again.

You’re in half a mind to ignore him and pretend you’re in a deep sleep so he’ll leave but with the knowledge that he’s right there... that he’s in reach and he could hold you… maybe he could make it okay.

You breathe a shaky sigh and reluctantly open your eyes and sit up, sliding back against the headboard again as you look at him, a new kind of concern immediately washing over his features.

He rushes over to perch on the bed beside you, his pretty face painted with worry as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’ve been crying... is it that bad? Or...” he trails off, looking between your red, puffy eyes as if doing so would decode what was wrong. “Love, what is it? Talk to me”

He can see through your lie now, something you never do, which fills his own heart with heaviness. Ignoring the sting of knowing you lied to him, he awaits your answer, knowing not to press you if something was so wrong to the point you felt the need to mislead him.

So, he doesn’t prompt and push, instead he rubs your shoulder softly as he waits for a reply, his soft green eyes on yours, hopeful you’ll meet his gaze.

“M’not good, Har” you reply shakily, biting your lip to keep it from quivering because the last thing you wanted was to become a sobbing mess in front of him. You shake your head as you continue to look down, more damned tears dropping into your lap despite you willing them to stay away, your finger now absently trailing the wet droplets they leave on your leg.

“Hey, hey look at me.. look at me” he soothes gently, both of his hands now on your shoulders urging you to lift your head to meet his gaze again. You do so reluctantly, and he lifts one hand to cup your face and brush away the hot tears on your cheek.

He offers you a pained smile, one that clearly shows his care for you, but the warmth in his eyes as he scans over your face pushes you to wrap your arms around him, gentle sobs immediately leaving your body again.

He pulls you gladly into a tight hug as his hand reaches up to the back of your head and moves in soft strokes over your hair as you breathe in the scent that is so Harry, so... home.

His eyebrows knit together in response to the twist in his heart upon hearing you cry, feeling your body shake softly as the tears escape. He continues his soft stroking to the back of your head, wanting so badly to take whatever it is away, to make everything better.

“Shhh, I got you. M’not going anywhere. I got you” he soothes, squeezing his own eyes shut to try pull himself together so he can be there for you how you need him. “Wanna talk about it?” he asks, his voice soft in your ear and his hold on you still tight.

You shake your head as much as you can in his vice like grip.

“Wouldn’t even know what to say. Truly. I don’t know why I’m in such a rut.” you say honestly between sniffles. That was the most frustrating thing about the past week. There was no trigger, no cause.

Foolishly you shut yourself away, the answer to your problem being so obvious now you were in his company- in his arms. Your eyes prick again at the thought, that dull throb in your chest again making itself present.

“Feel better because you’re with me though- I shouldn’t have lied to you- I should’ve let you- shouldn’t have told you- I-” your rambling is cut off by Harry quietly shushing you and resuming his careful stroking of your hair. God, how does he make everything okay?

“Shh, I get it, s’okay… it’s okay. I got you, yeah? M’right here, always right here” he coos in your ear, and you nod your head fervently because of course you know.

Right here felt like the only place on earth. The best place on earth.

You both remain in silence like that for a while longer until Harry slowly pulls himself away from you, leaning back but keeping his hand firmly on your thigh, making a point of keeping some physical contact with you.

At last, you finally look at him properly, smiling awkwardly, a smile that he returns with that boyish, one-sided smirk of his that you’ve grown to love so much.

The comfortable silence between you both is complimented by the rain still hammering down outside.

You turn your head to glance out of the window at the thick droplets bouncing off the glass, then turn back to Harry, who has an amused expression on his face.

He’s the one giving you an awkward smile now, to which you return a puzzled look.

“What?” you ask suspiciously.

He brings his hand up to cover his smile, which is growing bigger by the second. He’s clearly trying not to laugh, but refusing to let you in on the joke, so you poke his ribs to further prompt him to answer.

“S’nothing” he laughs, to which you raise an eyebrow disbelievingly, causing him to laugh again.

You cross your arms whilst feigning an annoyed look, stubbornly waiting for him to kindly share whatever it is that he’s seemingly finding so funny.

“It’s just uhh, when- when was the last time you brushed your hair?” he asks sheepishly, clearly not wanting to embarrass you but finding your lack of effort appearance wise humorous.

Your hand instantly lifts to the messy bun that had initially been propped on the top of your head two days ago. By now it was hanging low at the back of your head, probably a matted mess.

You groan and hit him softly with the pillow behind you, and he raises his arms to defend himself, resuming his laughter as a reluctant smile makes its way onto your face.

“I mean, you look great, but uhh, hairbrushes… great inventions” he taunts, but you can hear his smile so clearly in his voice that it sends warmth through your chest.

“Funny.” you quip, kicking his knee with your socked foot. “please, continue making fun of my misery” you joke, and he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Okay, okay, I take it back” he laughs musically, and you purse your lips in a bashful pout, eyeing him fondly as he readjusts his position on the bed to sit cross legged in front of you.

The comfortable silence resumes, Harrys fingers absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles at your ankle.

“Seriously though, want me to brush your hair?” he asks, your heart fluttering at the gesture.

Honestly, the idea of having to brush your hair over the past two days was a task that had seemed entirely overwhelming, hence the state of your bun. And now that it was probably a matted mess, it was a job you were happy to give to someone else- someone who seemed to understand entirely instead of sitting here judging you.

You look down at your hands in your lap, half embarrassed before nodding your head.

“If you don’t mind.. thank you, H” you reply, giving him a grateful smile.

He returns it knowingly, standing to grab the hairbrush from your vanity and sitting back down. He motions with his hand for you to turn around with your back to him, which you do so obediently, feeling pre-emptively better knowing one basic self-care need was being taken care of.

Harrys hands gently tug at the hair tie that is somehow still hanging loosely in your hair, letting the tangled strands fall against your back.

He lets out a low whistle, to which you nudge him in the ribs with your elbow causing him to laugh quietly as he tries to separate the matted sections of your hair.

By the time Harry has completely detangled your hair you’re pressed flush against his back, not noticing he’d finished as he continues to stroke and run his hands through your hair. He observes you warmly, noting how your eyes have softly closed and your breathing has shallowed.

As much as Harry was loving the entire situation, mainly the fact he’d seemingly managed to calm you down and help you relax, his legs were going numb as hell and he needed to move you from your position that had you practically seated in his lap.

With a small squeeze to your shoulder, he breathes gently in your ear “M’done love. All done.”

You open your eyes, not even realising they’d closed, running your hand through your hair and revelling in how soft the stands now felt. You move away from Harry rather reluctantly, turning back to face him as he stands up from the bed.

“Thank you, Har. I- honestly I feel so much better, really.. thank you” you smile gratefully, your heart warm in your chest and full of such tenderness for your best friend.

You would never get over how truly wonderful he is.

“S’nothing, promise. I like helping you relax. Makes me feel good too” he confesses, a shy smile tugging at his lips.

You both exchange a look of fondness for each other, your eyes locking for an extended period of time. The exchange is warm, with a weight that is full of unsaid things but it’s also a look that needs no words- you both have a profound care for each other, that much has always been clear, but the longer you’re looking at him, the more your own gaze becomes one of longing.

Harry notices it too, his own eyes seeming to look deeper into yours as the warmth in them turns to something more heated.

You see it, you feel it, its thick in the air and you have to look away.

In return, Harry drops his eyes from your face and clears his throat as he fumbles with the hairbrush still in his hand.

He reaches to put it on the nightstand next to your forgotten pot of instant noodles which he picks up with a sigh. The mood instantly shifts back into one of playful friendliness as he holds them out to you with one eyebrow raised.

“This is what you’ve been eating?” he asks. “or not eating I should say. No wonder you’re so depressed” he jokes before walking out of the bedroom and into the open plan kitchen-living room, instant noodles in hand.

With him out of the room you place your head in your hands trying to calm down your thoughts and steady your heart rate. When did it start beating so quickly?

You’re brought out of your thoughts before you can even begin to overthink the look you’d both shared by the sound of the tap running from the bathroom down the hall from your room.

You step out of your bed and walk towards the source of the noise and are greeted by the sight of Harry running you a bath.

He notices you standing in the doorway and gives you a soft smile before walking over to you and gripping the sides of your arms gently.

��I’m gonna go get some real food while you take a bath, okay? I wont be long” he promises, pressing a parting kiss to your cheek before leaving, your heart quickening and heat rushing to your face.

You watch after him mindlessly, your fingers lifting to the spot he’d just kissed so casually, the feeling of his lips still lingering beneath your touch.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment, your hearing dulled, and sense of touch heightened, before a panicked instinct to check the running taps pulls you from your yearning trance.

You turn them off quickly, before removing your clothing and sinking into the soothing warmth of the water and willing it to wash you of these muddled feelings and flustered responses to Harry’s demeanour and affections.

You urge yourself not to overthink his kiss to your cheek, remembering all the times he’d kissed the top of your head whilst hugging you goodbye, usually always followed with some kind of joke about how he can only reach the top of your head so easily because you’re so much smaller than him.

“See ya later Bitsy” you recall his voice and think of how most of those situations ended. Warm but only friendly.

You sink beneath the water to wet your hair, dragging your hands over your face to wash away the grime from your face and along with it any thoughts of Harrys kiss being anything more than a friendly parting.

What you refuse to fully acknowledge is the way your heart leaps at the idea of it being more.

You finish bathing, before wrapping yourself in a towel, feeling so much better for being forced into taking care of yourself.

By the time you’re dressed in a fresh set of pyjama shorts and an oversized t-shirt, you leave your room to see Harry dishing up the food he left to retrieve.

He looks up from portioning a steaming bowl of ramen and gives you a warm, happy smile.

“You look like you’re feeling a little better?” he asks hopefully, to which you nod, returning his smile shyly.

“Much better, thank you. Mmmh, food smells amazing.” You sigh, reaching to grab the bowl he holds out for you before sitting side by side on the sofa.

You eat together in a relaxed silence, one that offers tender glances at each other and periodic laughs as you both try hopelessly to eat ramen noodles gracefully.

Harry finishes first, and you follow not far behind him before setting your bowl on the coffee table in front of you both.

You feel his eyes, on you but can’t force yourself to move your eyes from your hands in your lap. The silence suddenly feels heavy, you don’t even have to look at him to know his stare holds so much weight.

Its impossible to ignore. You feel it.

Your stomach is fluttering under his gaze and your mind is racing.

In an attempt to take the newly tense and awkward edge out of the silence that had now settled, you clear your throat, but it only draws attention to the tension that hangs thick in the air between you both.

You chance a look at him, his green eyes fixed on you with an expression you can’t read.

“Stop it” you whisper, not chancing your voice cracking.

His face is soft, but his brow is tense, his eye contact unwavering.

“Stop what?” he speaks softly.

You inhale slowly, your eyes closing before releasing a shaky exhale.

“Stop looking at me like that. I don’t know what it means” you say.

He leans closer, only slightly, but the growing intimacy of your proximity is enough to quicken your heart rate all over again.

“Looking at you like what, love?” he feigns innocence, his expression still just as achingly warm.

You can barely bring yourself to answer, still trying to convince yourself you must be misreading the entire situation, that he can’t be looking at you with this intense desire, so gently, so.. so..

“Longingly...” you whisper.

His expression softens, his eyes leaving yours to delicately trail over the features of your face, a soft sigh leaving his mouth as his focus stops at your lips before cupping his hand at your cheek.

“I can’t, love. Because I can’t tell you how long I have longed for this.” he whispers.

Your eyes shut tight at his confession, that familiar warmth radiating through your whole chest as the entire world seems to stop spinning again.

When you open your eyes, they threaten to spill over with tears, and Harry knowingly caresses the side of your cheek with his thumb.

You can’t breathe.

“Me too” you utter almost silently.

Your admission sparks the most beautiful, genuine smile you’ve ever seen Harry wear, and he touches his forehead to yours with his hand gently cradling the back of your head.

“Well, thank fuck for that” he jokes, and you laugh breathily before pulling back to finally meet his eyes with a new confidence.

He looks between each of your eyes before refocusing his gaze on your lips. Before you can even acknowledge the excitement blooming in your chest, his mouth is on yours.

And it’s soft. It’s slow. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

He pulls you into his lap and deepens the kiss, causing you to whimper into his mouth as your hands fist into his t-shirt, desperately trying to anchor yourself to him, not wanting to lose him now that you finally have him.

His hand moves from the back of your head, trailing down your back to gently cup your ass, your core clenching in utter desire in response.

He pulls away from the kiss breathlessly, his hand gliding softly beneath your t-shirt, caressing the skin of your stomach, up towards your ribs suggestively.

“I know you’ve spent all day in bed, love.” he breathes. “But would you mind if I took you back there?”

Your head dizzies with a new lust. You scan over his face as he pulls you down against his lap almost desperately, his expression showing nothing but his adoration and unsatiated need for you.

And now, you can think of anywhere else you’d rather be.

“..yes please.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry #harry edward styles #harry styles smut

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icejjfishesz · 11 months ago

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005. ༺WORDS ARE EMPTY AIR༻∘

a/n: i ate THE best cookie today and i just wanted to share that with the class

summary: after getting unexpectedly left by your roommate, you find yourself in need of a replacement.

contents: reader is even more down bad (ik who thought that was possible??). paige pining after an ex situationship. kinda angsty.

previous. next. masterlist.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

she is cruel, she is beautiful, she is impossible to ignore. she is annoying and addicting and warm. you had assumed your night with paige would be a one off but that couldn’t be anything further from the truth. pent up is the only way to describe the insatiable way paige acts towards you. when either of you get home after a long day, she’s all over you –– kissing you, touching you, making you feel better than you ever had before, cuddling you during the afterglow before she goes back to her friendly attitude like nothing ever happened.

but even then, she still looked at you with a certain hunger. or maybe you’re just delusional.

you could only assume paige had a tough day considering how tense she was as she shut the door behind her. you give her a cautious “hey” that she doesn’t respond to, the millisecond she notices you in the kitchen she meets you there. you stare at her a little confused by her silence but then she’s kissing away the confusion, hot and starving. she’s too confident in the way her mouth moves against yours. as if she’d been kissing you for years or like the only air she could breathe was what was in your lungs. she pushes your body against the countertop, it’s cold. but she lets her warm hands reach under your shirt to feel the bare skin of your waist and the temperature contrast makes you shudder.

she pulls away from the kiss to whisper back in a soft, out of breath tone. “hey…i missed you today.”

it’s candid. unable to be underplayed or considered inscrutable. she means it and you almost tumble over, unable to contain the sheepish smile that coats your lips. “did you?”

paige just nods. “could barely think about anything else…”

your stomach fills with something akin to butterflies, it makes you sick how easily her words could change your entire mood. words are just empty air but hers are caramelized and chocolate covered.

“except your body.” she adds and you can actually feel all the butterflies die. well, damn. though her not wanting you in the exact way you wanted her stung, you had to admit that the sex was the best good. which is why when she leans in to whisper in your ear you shiver and clench your thighs together…because you already know what’s coming. “i want you.”

three words that make your whole body shut down despite how many times you’ve heard them before. she kisses up your neck like routine, she knows your sweet spot like the back of her hand. you tremble against her, shutting your eyes and trying hard to think about anything that’s not the way you truly feel about her.

“so have me…” you mumble, something in between a moan and a whimper, it’s pathetic how quick you melt for her. she smirks into your skin, pulling your shirt off and kissing your collarbone.

then her phone rings from her back pocket and she groans, releasing her lips from your skin. you whine as she pulls away and she kisses your jaw before checking her phone. she reads the text message and groans again. “shit, sorry baby. i gotta go…” she doesn’t look up from her phone as she speaks this and for like the millionth time, it kills you.

“oh…” you mumble, pushing your body away from the pressure of the counter top and putting your shirt back on. she tries to meet your eyes but you’re dead set on not looking at her as you stuff your arms back through the holes of your shirt.

“come on…don’t be like that.” paige sighs, hand rubbing your thigh slowly which makes your breath hitch. her warmth spreads all over you, her skin leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere it meets yours. “you know the last thing i wanna do is leave right now. and you know i’m gonna make this up to you.”

you nod and clear your throat. “yeah no, i get it. it’s fine. i have shit to do anyway.”

she stares at you for a few moments before she kisses your cheek. kisses. your. cheek.

nothing even remotely sexually or friendly about the gesture. it gives you pause and you have to physically restrain yourself from pulling her back up against you.

“i will make this up to you…” she repeats again. it’s a promise and you believe her. “it’s just i forgot i promised to pick up azzi –– ”

you nod again, smiling at her. “seriously, paige. it’s fine. you should hurry and leave.” your smile reassures her enough to actually leave albeit reluctantly. when you hear the sound of the door shut again, you groan and shuffle back to your bedroom. you throw yourself back onto your bed and shut your eyes, trying to block away all thoughts of her and you voice and her words and her hands on your –– you shake your head, groaning to yourself stop being so fucking horny. your turn over in bed, reaching for the bottle of water on your nightstand. you take a few sips and then you hear a knock at the door. weird. paige has a key.

you walk to the door and look through the peephole. sean. sighing to yourself, you open the door.

“you are the worst.” sean walks into your apartment casually, plopping down on the couch, “ghosting me for a week like i wasn’t gonna come check on you. i hope you know if you didn’t answer the door i was seriously gonna file a missing persons.”

you snicker, sitting on the couch with him, shaking your head. “sorry, i honestly forget…i got…caught up.” yeah, ‘caught up’ in paige’s ––

“don’t bullshit me.” sean gives a look that lets you know that he sees right through you.

you sigh, not sure where to start so you just kind of shrug and say, “i had sex with her.”

“okay…ew.” he grimaces, making you roll your eyes. he pauses when he sees no hint of being in a jokey mood on your face. his eyebrows furrow. “was she bad?”

“what?” you half chuckle and half gasp.

“you looked upset saying that. i thought you wanted her ‘real bad’?”

“yeah i –– ” do “did”.

“...so??”

“it’s just sex.” you shrug. “nothing more or less.”

“and that’s not what you want?” he nods to himself, understanding the unspoken implications.

“it’s love-hate.” mostly hate.

“wait, i thought she was with that girl…olive or whatever.”

you snicker and shake your head. “olivia ended things with her.”

“damn, so you’re a rebound?”

you groan to yourself. that’s definitely what you were but it was not nice to hear it.

“you probably don’t wanna hear this but…” you brace yourself for whatever he has to say, sucking in a deep breath. “maybe you should end things with her. before you get too attached.”

you bite your tongue, nodding in his direction. you don’t say the unfortunate truth that lies at the tip of your tongue. you don’t tell him it’s too late. you don’t mention that you’re already attached and that you’re not acknowledging it out of fear of rocking the boat. you don’t tell your best friend how you’re falling for a girl who’s probably in love with someone else.

#rock the boat!#paige bueckers x reader

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year ago

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Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x F!Reader TW : none ; it's just cringe fluff ; Hyunjin and reader are that couple ; Word Count : 1.0k Request : nope! A/N : it was my birthday yesterday and I had to work and y'all, I'm so exhausted. I'm writing this from the future, but I just know I'ma be soooo fucking sleepy!!! I hope everyone is enjoying these and please, know that I am getting to the requests, I just really want to do some cute stuff before I jump back into angst. My life has been angsty enough.

“Send me a picture of your face.” The text came in as Hyunjin walked through the main doors of the airport. Of course, it was from you, so he immediately responded, unable to hide his smile even under the mask that he was wearing.

“Whyyy? You miss me? Hmmm? You miss me so much??? Wanna hug me? Wanna kiss me? Hmmmm????” He teasingly texted back before slipping his phone in his pocket, giggling to himself and earning disgusted looks from the two youngest guys in the group. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Don’t be jealous that I’m in looove.”

“Gross. How long have you been dating? Isn’t the honeymoon phase supposed to wear off already?” Seungmin retorted, his nose scrunched up just to emphasize just how disgusted he was. Jeongin nodded in agreement, although they both didn’t hesitate to fall back just so they could keep up with Hyunjin, although it was mostly so they could continue teasing him.

“The honeymoon phase doesn’t wear off if you’re really in looove.” Hyunjin responded, trying his best not to laugh along with the two youngest. He himself thought it was cringe, as did you, but for some reason, although he didn’t mind it one bit, you both agreed on acting the part of that couple just to see the reactions from the guys. It had been an agreement made at the beginning of your relationship, and now two years in and already engaged, the act had become the real thing and neither of you could shake it.

“I bet you paint her a bunch of pictures and put cheesy little poems along with them. Don’t you?” Jeongin baited, knowing damn well that he did, but the three of them had made it a habit, almost like yours and Hyunjins habit of being the cringiest couple in the universe, to tease each other about these things. “Bet you guys have matching bunny slippers that you wear around the house.”

“Hey! Don’t talk about the bunny slippers, you don’t know about the bunny slippers. They’re comfortable and they grip the floor really well.” Hyunjin said, although with that he couldn’t help but let out the laughter that he was holding in.

“Oh yeah, I bet the bunny slip grips work wonders when you’re chasing each other around having your late night pillow fights.” Seungmin chimed in once more, and now all three of them were laughing loudly, catching the attention of the other members who were walking ahead.

Truthfully, Hyunjin didn’t mind the teasing all that much for the main reason of being able to talk about you, he loved talking about you, you were his life, his soul, you were his everything, and as long as the teasing stayed aimed towards him most of the time, he was fun with it. You made him beyond happy, and if the guys thought that it was a little cringe, or moreso, majorly cringe, he didn’t care because at the end of the day, he still got to say he was with the most amazing girl in the world.

“You gonna send me that picture yet or are you gonna make me wait until the tour is over???” He pulled out his phone to read the text from you when he finally sat down outside the gates at the airport, smiling at his phone screen which had your face as the wallpaper.

Tours were the hardest part of your relationship because you had your own job to be at and you couldn’t just ask for days off, you had to request for them in advance, and Hyunjin wasn’t really the best at telling you about tour dates with much notice. Your relationship was built on trust, a lot of trust, because it was no secret that Hyunjin was by far the most handsome man in the universe-your words, not his-and you knew that a lot of people wanted him. Of course, Hyunjin only had eyes for you, you were the most beautiful girl in the universe, and everyone else-his words, not yours-was a goblin.

“So impatient babe. Hold up, let me take one.” He teased back before opening his camera and snapping a quick selfie which, for anyone else, would be the worst angle, but with Hyunjin there were no bad angles. He quickly sent the picture with a heart as the caption, watching the little text bubbles pop up almost immediately.

“How are you so perfect? How am I so lucky? Why are you going so far away this time? Dammit, I miss you. Come back home soon. I love you.” The text read, and his throat tightened as he felt the sudden urge to cry. His heart panged with a sadness and loneliness that he only felt when he was away from you. The tour hadn’t even officially started yet and he was already going through withdrawal from your kisses, your touch, the heat that emanated off your body when you were both curled up under the blankets at home.

“Send me a selfie a day, I miss you too, you and your beautiful face. I love you so much more… I’ll be back home as soon as I can. We’re boarding now though, I have to turn my phone off. I’ll text you during the layover. I love you babe.” He quickly wrote back before turning his phone onto airplane mode and slipping it back into his pocket, the playful smile that he had been wearing a majority of the time falling ever so slightly.

“You look like you’re gonna cry… You okay, man?” Seungmin asked, coming up from seemingly out of nowhere to stand beside Hyunjin as they walked through the gates. “Is it because you miss her? Oh man… You’re like… Love whipped or something. It’s weird. Good for you though. Shoulda brought the bunny slippers.”

Love whipped… Was it a thing? Hyunjin wasn’t sure, not until now. He had heard of guys being whipped by only one other thing, and while he’d certainly, secretly, fall under that category as well, he loved you for so much more. He loved you for everything that you are, everything that you were, and everything that you will be. You had him wrapped around your finger, his heart was connected to yours. He loved you so much that it felt like he was being torn in two just being away from you. Yes, he was love whipped… But god, did he love the feeling of it.

Perm. Taglist : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc @syuuji @jiisungllvr @yukichan67 @randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @furiousheartpoetry @its-hannjisung @lixpixstix @felixluvr915 @wordsofkpop @kayleigh-28 @szkstay @spnwinchestersd @fleatree @yehsehneeah @vampcharxter @iloveksmohsomuch @lvlnijiro @neteyamsmate4life

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gingerjolover · 1 year ago

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You're Losing Me - Part 2

Read the preface and part 1 here!

Warnings: RPF, angsty + sad, mean!naomi, neglectful!naomi?, issues in relationship, fighting?

g's notes: welp....here you go

Naomi heard the door slam, wincing softly as they dropped their tense shoulders, sighing. The guilt runs down their spine like an uncomfortable shiver, turning their head to see your animals peering through the french doors.

"What am I doing?" Noami mumbles to themself, pushing away from the desk, abandoning the open work on the screen, throwing the french doors open and jogging to the front door, opening it like it owed them money.

"Hey, wait..." Noami says seeing you put your bag in the passenger seat, walking in front of the car to the driver's side.

"W-Where are you going?" they stutter, watching you adjust behind the steering wheel.

"I'm surprised you noticed I left," you mumble, voice full of venom, trying to hide the obvious wobbliness in your voice. "I'm going to Kelli and Jo's," you add on, turning the car on and grabbing the seatbelt.

"...Baby wait...come on," Naomi says moving back as you shut the door, looking at it with great offense as it shuts. You roll the window down with a huff, as Noami leans down arms crossed at the window.

"What happened to us talking about what happened? You're just gonna leave me and go stay somewhere tonight? You weren't even gonna tell me?" Naomi asks, the tone coming out annoyed as if the worry was buried deep down underneath the inconvenience of your big feelings.

"You went to your office," you say bitterly.

"Because you didn't want to talk!" Naomi exclaims back.

"I shouldn't have to tell you what's wrong, Naomi! When was the last time we talked? When was the last time you actually listened to what I was saying? What difference would it have made?" you exclaim, tone seeping in frustration.

Noami rolls their eyes lightly, standing up and rubbing their face. Hurt and betrayal rush through them, and they recognize what you're saying is true but cannot process it.

"Okay, I- I admit I've been distracted; I should be giving you more attention... you're right," Noami sighs, letting the pride iced inside of them melt away a little.

"But c'mon babe like, my god, do you have to be so dramatic about it? You don't have to just leave like that..." they ask, face scrunched in annoyance.

Your eyes soften in hurt, in absolute disbelief that Noami, your loving partner, the one who is usually obsessed with you and loves to spend time with you, the one who could listen to you talk for hours, is seemingly more annoyed that you're leaving to stay at Kelli and Jo's than by the conflict ravaging your relationship.

It's quick; the way your eyes show that what Naomi said was like a slap in the face.

Naomi's eyes widen, another twinge of guilt as they stand sheepishly in front of you. "That was- I didn't mean... I just think, we should, you know..." they start, stammering under the weight of your gaze.

"No..." Noami starts to say, shaking their head. "You know what? I do have the time to talk this out. I know I was wrong... I can pause what I am doing to prioritize you," they say, leaning back to the window, trying to see where your head is.

"You might as well finish what you're working on... you're almost done, and I already texted Kelli," you mumble softly, making no clear effort to leave the car, unbelieving of Naomi's willingness to actually talk this out.

Naomi audibly groans, "Can you please stop being so stubborn?" they mutter under their breath, hands running over their face again. Naomi looks into your eyes, softly pleading.

"I said I would pause what I'm doing, I'm serious," they continue, tone softening, "can we just...talk this out? please?"

"I'm being stubborn?" you ask incredulously.

Instantly Naomi knows they've fucked up. The way your eyes went from softened with hurt to a deep rage, Naomi's defenses are back up. Face going slightly red, the repeated words bring a new wave of frustration.

"Yes, you're being stubborn!" they say, softness gone from their voice entirely. The conversation gets completely out of hand again, Noami delivering blow after blow. "You're being ridiculous! Can't we just talk this out like adults? Instead, you're throwing a fit and leaving," Naomi half yells.

And it's devastating. The way Naomi raises their voice like second nature, that your response from weeks of tension in the house is considered "throwing a fit" to your normally communicative partner. There's a sense of dread, like the shoreline of an ocean right before a tsunami, withdrawing all the way inside. Is there really nothing left? Is what ever comes next bound to be a disaster? if this is what you're fighting over is it even worth fighting still?

"Go back inside Naomi," you say deadpan, exhaustion clinging to your bones, eyes feeling full of tears and screaming hurt. There's a level of tiredness in your voice that Naomi notices, but can't be bothered to acknowledge.

"Fine!" they say loudly, pushing away from the car. "Go stay with Josette and Kelli if you're gonna act like this; they can deal with you," Naomi huffs, walking with determination back to the house.

Naomi turns for a quick moment, any hopefulness the minute Naomi says, "Have a good night," sarcastically before heading inside with a nonchalant wave. The door slams, and even though it doesn't reverberate to your car, you can feel the quake, the finality of the slam sending shockwaves through your system.

You stare at the front door, reeling in how absolutely absurd and out of character Naomi is acting. The car is still in park, the engine rubbing beneath your seat, eyes staring blankly as you think about how you can move forward.

Naomi stomps back inside, ignoring the animals curled together on the couch, sitting at the desk in their office. They flick a stack of papers off the work surface, cursing to themselves as they spread out, head in their hands, elbows resting on their knees.

Pausing for a moment, Naomi knows that if anything were to happen to you, they couldn't live with themself. But the way you dismissed them upstairs? The way you packed a bag like it was nothing? escaping to your shared friends' house like it wasn't a big deal? It rocked Naomi to their core.

Like a toxic cycle, Naomi straightens up, quickly typing the passcode into their computer before starting to work again, telling themselves they'll call Jo in a little bit to see if you made it to the house.

You sit in the driveway for an hour. A whole hour waiting for Naomi to come back out. Waiting for an inclination that Naomi would change their attitude and be earnest. Waiting for Naomi to recognize why you are upset and apologize for it. Because surely, you mean something to Naomi, right?

The longer you stare at the house, the more you don't recognize the person within its walls. You know Naomi is stressing about the new record, the intense production, and the deadlines coming up soon. You've been as supportive as possible, always creating a space for Naomi to vent or talk, but Naomi has never acted like this.

You start to feel crazy, like a ghost trapped in your driveway. Your phone dings from a text, a "where are you?" from Kelli, that finally lets this sink in. Naomi isn't coming back outside. The tears start to fall before you can stop them, putting the car in reverse and heading towards a known comfort.

g's notes: sorry i HAD to split this part into two parts but that means part 3 is already written and then you'll be getting a happy ending in part 4! wee!

#muna x reader #naomi mcpherson x reader #muna #naomi mcpherson angst #you're losing me #thank you to whoever suggested the name btw #i had to practically rewrite this #i realize i actually hate what i draft #but im gonna start setting aside like an hour or two a day to write and post #because then i wont feel like im so behind #anyways #here's yall's juice!

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chuuyaspinkmotorcycle · 1 month ago

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Fanfic Writer Interview

Thank you to @ohhcinnybuns for the tag <33

How many works do you have on AO3?

Eleven, as of now! There's quite a few I need to update though, haha. I've got more fics in the works, as well as updates for those already published!

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

I Am You and You Are Me (23,152 words), ongoing, T - a crossover, what-if story about the regular bsd world and the Beast world colliding.

2. What's Wrong, Love? (3,946 words), oneshot, T - Dazai knew Chuuya, in and out. The redhead would never cry, always a strong soldier. Yet here he was, shedding tears in Dazai's lap. Something was seriously wrong.

3. Please, Save Me (4,784 words), oneshot, M - Dazai Osamu stood on the train tracks, ready for the embrace of death. And as that moment comes, he truly believed he was going to die. Except... he doesn't?

4. Sleepy Times (2,536 words), oneshot, G - Dazai, the ever-good partner, knows all of Chuuya's tells. And when Chuuya seems like a walking corpse on their drive to a safe house, he's quick to realize the problem. He's got a beyond sleep-deprived slug on his bandaged hands.

5. Burning Bright! (12,449 words), ongoing, T - Chuuya always worked hard in his young life, balancing a part-time job with full-time college. He makes it work. But when his favorite actor (and crush) Dazai Osamu walks into his boba shop to get away from fans? It turns Chuuya's world upside down.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try! I know I've got a few I still need to respond to, but I promise I read them and I appreciate them so much!! I just tend to forget to respond after reading the email notification since Ao3 doesn't have any other notifications after that :')

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ohhh it's two and they're not published yet haha. But they had me tearing up writing/thinking about it. As for published, it's Four Seasons (Warning: MCD) or To Be Human (more angsty hurt/comfort).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

So I have a bad habit of jumping between projects A Lot soooo I haven't actually written many endings, just mapped them out. For published, though, I'd say The Feels or Sleepy Times.

Do you write crossovers?

Apart from IAYAYAM's Beast x Canon world crossover, no. I love seeing art or fics that set the bsd characters into other worlds, but I'm not creative enough for that lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? I've received spam but nothing like hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In my head~ but I actually will be attempting to start writing it soon! I created a 18+ acc over on twt to explore it as well. When it comes to smut, though, I adoreeeee when it's tender or a first time.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah :') there was a website back in Julyish this year (2024) that stole a ton of works from Ao3 and put it on its own. Last I knew, the site was taken down, though!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep, into Russian! The link is under What's Wrong, Love? !

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. A friend and I have created threads off our texts using both our ideas, but never actually co-wrote them.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

SOUKOKU. I've been here for three years already and I fear there is no escape.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've got a few that are just dumb little ideas, like one is labeled Port Mafia Family Adventures and is supposed to be oneshots in a series of crack shenanigans in the pm, especially when skk were there together. Now that I think about it, it'll prolly get turned into a thread or two on here and twt hehe.

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhh not fully sure. Lily said I captured teen!Dazai very well in a wip the other day so there's that? Skfdkjsjfs

What are your writing weaknesses?

Staying focused/on track... it shows in my writing imo. I'm also not very good at dialogue and I think I can still get better at descriptions and characterizations.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

YES. always yes. I want it as accurate as possible, even if people don't know how to read it. It makes it so much more real, especially if, say, the main character doesn't know the language and someone (the villain, for instance) is telling them something in that unknown language. Makes it feel like you're in that character's place not knowing what's going on.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Hmm if it was gonna be anything, it'd be from either fe3h (sylvix + yuri), zelda (zelink), or hq (kenhina) but my mini hyperfixations on those never last long enough for me to write anything </3

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooh. That's hard. I honestly love all of them? Like there's none I regret writing, they're proof that I can focus on something and produce it well enough to publish. I also really like all the concepts I've published so far, as well as most of the ones in my wips <33

Tag Time! @hibiscesque @calmlb @altaiiriss @bloodsherry

#fanfic writer interview #bungou stray dogs #skk #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #malaikayaps #tagged randomly #no pressure to do this!#if anyone else wants to do it you should tag me in it so I can read it <3

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secret-sturniolo · 1 year ago

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under the stars - matt sturniolo

summary - it's y/n and Matt's 1 year anniversary, and she can't wait to see what Matt has planned...

warnings - angsty beginning but a fluffy ending, one kiss

a/n - thank you so much for all the love on my first fic "Hot Tub"! i'm so glad you guys liked it, and i am so excited to keep writing!

When I woke up to my alarm this morning, I felt super groggy, and my first instinct was to hit snooze and go back to sleep. That is, until I remembered what day it was. Matt and I have been dating for one year today! I immediately checked for any messages from Matt, but I didn't see any. That's strange I thought, but I figured he had something planned and he wanted to surprise me, so I didn't think much of it. Instead, I decided to get ready for the day so I would be prepared for when Matt told me what he had planned.

I started with my makeup, doing a simple, natural look like Matt always liked. Then I picked out a baby blue crop top, (Matt's favorite color), a pair of high waisted jeans, and I planned to wear my white Air Force 1's. Then I put on my silver necklace with 2 small hearts intertwined, which had been a gift from Matt for Valentine's Day. When I was done getting ready, I checked my phone again, but still nothing from Matt. I'm not going to lie, I felt my heart sink a little, but I decided to call him. Maybe he's just sleeping still I thought as I clicked on Matt's contact. I let it ring all the way through, but there was no answer. I began to get a little worried, so I decided to text Chris and Nick.

Hey, are you guys with Matt, he's not answering his phone? 1:32pm

I waited for a response, but still nothing. My heart began to sink even deeper, my hands shaky and thoughts racing. How could he forget? Hot tears began to roll down my face as I lost all hope, smearing my freshly done makeup down my cheeks. I decided to stop trying, figuring that he obviously didn't want to talk to me. Feeling heartbroken, I took off my carefully planned outfit and changed into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and crawled back under my blankets. I guess I'm ending up going back to sleep anyways I thought. The tears slowly turned into wracking sobs, until finally I was so exhausted that I could no longer keep my eyes open, and I fell into a deep slumber.

When I awoke, I couldn't immediately tell whether it was morning or night. I rolled over to check my phone, and the time read 8:57pm. I didn't mean to sleep that long I thought, as I began looking at my unread notifications.

hey babe, im so sorry but everything will make sense soon 8:46pm

im picking you up in an hour, wear something cozy :) 8:48pm

I stared at the screen, frozen in place as I re-read the texts. So he didn't forget? I quickly text back okay :) love you and I get out of bed once again to get ready. As I look in the bathroom mirror, I can see that my mascara is no longer on my lashes, but instead smeared around my eyes and cheeks. I gently wipe the old makeup off, but decide to leave my face bare rather than reapply more makeup. I leave my sweatpants on, and swap out my baggy tee for a better fitting hoodie, remembering how Matt told me to dress comfortably. Finally, I put the heart necklace back on, pausing to hold the hearts between the fingers as I wonder what could possibly have taken Matt all day. I remember how Matt thinks I look extra cute with braids in my hair, and I decide to put two dutch braids into my dirty blonde hair. Just as I was finishing up, I heard a knock at my front door, and I immediately knew who it was.

I ran to open the door, and just as I thought, Matt was standing there with a smile on his face, looking as handsome as ever. I jumped into his arms, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne.

"Matt, I thought you forgot!" I say, slightly exasperated.

"I know, I'm so sorry sweetheart." he says, holding me tighter. "I could never forget this day. I just had to make sure that my plans were perfect for you."

Smirking slightly, I ask him, "What do you have planned?"

"Get in the car, and you'll find out." Matt tells me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

The ride was about 20 minutes. The whole time, Matt had his left hand on the wheel, and the other was tightly gripping mine, our hands resting on the center console. As the night sky got darker, I admired the stars in the sky. I had always loved them, and I had told Matt multiple times before about my dream of going stargazing one day.

"Matt, look at the stars, aren't they beautiful?" I said, turning to look at him. Matt just giggled in return.

When we reached our destination at the top of a hill, Matt put the car in park and motioned for me to get out and follow him. Once again, he grabbed onto my hand, waiting for me to notice what he had set up. When I saw it, my jaw dropped in awe.

Firstly, Matt had set up a circle of small lanterns, each one giving off just the right amount of light. At the center of the circle, there was a luscious pink blanket big enough for two people, along with two matching pillows at one end of the blanket. At the other end, he had set up a bottle of sparkling juice with two glasses, and an assortment of some of mine and his favorite snacks. It was so perfect, better than I ever could have imagined. All of the stress from earlier in the day melted away, as I turned to look at Matt.

"I hope you like it, I know I upset you earlier but-"

I quickly cut him off with a short, but passionate kiss that said everything that words couldn't.

"Matt, this is perfect! You know I've always wanted to do this!" I buried my head in his shoulder as he laughed and squeezed me back.

"C'mon, let's go lay down." Matt guided us into the circle of light, and we laid side by side, my head on his chest.

"What, am I a better pillow than the one I got you?" he teased.

"The pillow is great, but you're even better." I replied.

As we looked up into the sky, we took turns pointing out the constellations that we could see, just simply being in the moment with each other's company. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend our anniversary, or a more perfect perfect person to spend it with.

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets imagine #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fluff #angst #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fanfic #nick sturniolo #imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine

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snek-panini · 9 months ago

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Very belated Binderary books, uh...I've lost track actually. I think they are #6 and #7. And it's another two-volume split! This is (Slow) Burn, Baby, Burn by orchidlocked, an extremely long Good Omens fic set in the 1970s. It's about our favorite angel/demon pair navigating the disco scene, and it's not an AU, which is sort of usual in a fic this long and with such a specific premise. There are a fair few real people featured here, some as major characters, and a lot of music history and an excellent playlist alongside all the fun and angsty relationship stuff that so many of us are here for. I learned a lot about disco reading this fic and it was fascinating and also way more queer than I ever realized.

For the cover up there we have a white Allure book cloth on the spine, and white HTV over homemade book cloth for the main cover. The cloth pieces both come from the same sheet but I oriented the stripes this way so they'd be coordinated-but-not-matched and I really love the effect. They're also cotton and really nice to hold. It's funny, I was thinking of binding this fic when I found the fabric while digging through the Joann's remnant bin, and as soon as I saw it this fic not only came to mind but moved up to the top of the to-bind list. It was fate, clearly.

More photos under the cut!

Both spines and a top view. That's orange HTV for the titles. This it the first time I've worked with matte HTV (I usually use metallic or foil) and I was surprised at how much thinner it is, and how easy it was to stick. And I like the color inverse here in counterpoint to the front cover. The top view shows off the handmade endbands and bookmark, and also the rounding job. I'm still working on rounded spines, and the turn-in over the spine didn't come out as smooth as I'd have liked, but I think it's a good result. The ribbon bookmark was supposed to be blue to match the endbands, but every blue ribbon I could find clashed horribly with the cover so it's this nice leafy sage green. Which actually works really well with...

The endpapers! I got these as Joann's too. All four are cut from the same print, but I shifted and rotated them when I trimmed them so the patterns wouldn't all be in the same place. I had desperately wanted this other paper I found on Etsy with little vinyl records all over it, but the pieces weren't the right shape and I'd have had to ship them from overseas ($$), but I like the mood these ones set. And they're thick and nicely textured and look awesome with the cover, so really I think things worked out very well.

Couple of pics of the interior. I kept it fairly simple but I feel like it fits the story.

The scene break line is orange, to match the covers. I usually use gray but wanted something more fun. I recently bought some off-white paper that I used for most of my binderary projects this year because I've heard it's easier on the eyes, and it is, but I used the older bright white for this so the color contrast would be sharper. No complaints; I think it looks amazing. The second image above is the appendix I put together for the volume. Being so centered in the music industry, this fic has a really long playlist that the author put together with their preferred recordings. It's linked in the story and I did include the link text in the book, but I had my mind on preservation and the challenges of digital archiving while I was making this one, so I also took all the title/artist/album info and just listed it here. It was too much to do all by hand, so I learned how to export a Spotify playlist into an Excel doc, then moved that into the Word doc to print. A lot of steps, but not nearly as hard as I'd thought, and way less tedious.

I have to say this book is aesthetically really different than all my previous ones. I ran into so many design hurdles but I honestly couldn't be more pleased with the end result. I'll have to push my comfort zone like this more often, I guess.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #it's disco so it needed to be appropriately funky #and i think i nailed it actually #look at them they're awesome

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gilverrwrites · 9 months ago

Note

do you have any hcs on how black mask would be romantic or show affection?

You’re asking me about my Black Mask headcanons? It’s been years since I talked about my Black Mask headcanons. Ahhhh. This kind of got away from me there’s loads, don't mind me, just dumping. 🖤🖤🖤

Dropping under a read more cause long post, sorry 🖤🖤🖤

Romance

Roman is very caught up in appearances so he’s very much a gift giver. Likes to buy to expensive clothes and jewellery. If you’re not as financially well off as him, he’ll pay for your haircuts, spa days, whatever you like to have done, so he can show you off, knowing that he has a aided the view, be it by dressing you or keeping you looking relaxed and cared for. Making you feel good about yourself, makes him feel good about himself. You’re like his little toy .

Will also buy you personal gifts that are just for you though. If he sees you looking at things while out, on the spot, “what my baby wants, they get. No expense.”

Or if you mention wanting/needing something, he’ll make sure he obtains it for you. (Or more likely someone who works for him goes and gets it for you.)

He often works long and late hours, so he brings you flowers if he’s been working later than expected. Reserves at least one night a month for you where he can take you out for dinner or whatever you want to do.

HOWEVER, while he’s kind of traditional in his ways of romance, he’s also very self serving. More often than not you’re going to the high end restaurants he chooses. He would never think to take you to a gallery or museum, or somewhere more eccentric unless it was for work.

Typically the gifts he buys, are to his taste. Unless you have picked it out, he’s buying something he specifically wants to see on you, something that matches the image he wants to world to see of you as a couple.

If you want different things you’d have to tell him, and if your tastes are different to his, he will struggle to adjust. Will out right tell you if he thinks your taste or ideas are bad.

Good morning and good night texts when he’s not around. Plus constant messages when he has a spare 5 seconds and is thinking of you.

Will get angsty and paranoid if you don’t text back quick enough.

If you’re spending the night apart, he’ll facetime with you until you fall asleep.

Has your preferred drink order memorised.

Also has your favourite flowers memorised for gifting purposes.

And has all your clothing, shoe, ring sizes memories, also for gifting purposes.

Probably doesn’t actually have those things memorised, he has a guy who keeps note of that stuff for him - but you don’t need to know that.

Like to share his food and drink with you, and vice versa.

After a long night he’ll give you his jacket (and shoes if you’re a heels person) happy to carry your stuff, or even you back to the car

If your hobbies include something with an end product like food or painting or something to that effect, he’ll show all his goons and/or business associates and intimidate them into complimenting it

Giving affection:

Roman is very handsy. Plus he’s hard or hearing so he just generally likes having you as close as possible, easier to hear, easier to feel up.

If you have long hair, he’ll always brush any strays out of your face, want to get a good look at his best gal/boy/whatever you wanna be called.

Straightens your collar, folds away your clothing tags, tucks in your shirt, straightens your necklace etc.

Again it’s about keeping up appearances, but also having an excuse to put his hand in you.

Like, for a man who doesn’t care what people think of him, he cares a lot about what people think of him, you know?

After greeting you with a kiss he always spins you around to get a good look at your outfit. “This is nice, did I get this for you?”

Holds hand when you’re walking together, gotta keep you close and safe. Holds your waist when you’re sitting together.

In the rare occasion your chilling out together, having a lazy day at home, he likes you to be the little spoon, between his legs so he can play with your hair, rub your back, whatever makes you feel relaxed. (This is transactional however, you must return the favour later - he deserves it, he’s always so high strung, give that man a back rub)

When you’re alone together and he wants your attention, he’ll playfully pull your hair, or poke you, or pinch your cheek. (These are like, low level warnings, if you don’t respond appropriately, things will escalate)

If you’re smaller than him, he likes picking you up, twirling you around, comparing your hand sizes.

If you’re bigger/buffer, he likes arm wrestling. Like, if you both want different food for dinner, you’ll settle it with an arm wrestle. Can’t complain if he looses cause he had fun. “Come on then baby, show me who’s boss.”

Probably also does this with smaller s/o’s cause he knows he’ll always win, or you’ll look cute when you’re high on victory (he let you win).

Good at aftercare, like he’ll run both of you a bath, so you can take turns washing each other, then lay together, appreciate the warmth and aromas, enjoy the calm.

Makes sure any marks and bruises are properly tended to. He can be a very tender, gentle man, so long as it’s behind closed doors.

When he has the time, he likes watching you get ready. If you’re struggling to pick something, he will always have an opinion/pick for you.

Also enjoys getting ready together, like you doing up his shirt buttons and tie, him doing up the back of your dress/your shirt and and tie and putting your jewellery on for you.

#black mask #Roman Sionis #black mask x reader #roman sionis x reader #headcanons #long post #gilverrwrites

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munsons-hellfire · 2 years ago

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Chapter 2: Damsel In Distress

SUMMARY: You've settled down into your apartment now its time for you to find a teaching job, and Eddie wants to take you out to get to know you better and more about your past. All while your dad and brother set up a little welcome home party as well as a meet the crew party, but things seem to take a sideways turn and not in a good way.

PAIRINGS: Biker!Eddie Munson x Teacher!Fem!Reader

PART 2 IN THE DARK PARADISE SERIES

CONTENT WARNINGS: MFW (can still be read at work), a little angsty towards the end, Part 2, Biker!Eddie Munson, Teacher!Reader, no use of y/n (though bug is used), implied pet names, she/her pronouns (but barley used), Reader is 24 (turning 25 soon), Eddie is 26, post-upside down, vecna is defeated (will be mentioned in later parts), language, angst, mentions of drugs, mentions of murder, rival biker gang

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here is part 2, I hope you enjoyed it and are enjoying this series so far. I hope you enjoy this part, I apologize for it being so long, I thought about splitting it up but my gut was just telling me to keep going and end on a slight cliff hanger. It’ll be picked up in part 3 though so fear not. The ending that I had was not the intended direction I was heading for but I like how it ended so it's sticking, I just really got into writing this part which is why it's so long. Plus I’m a sucker for angst, so I had to have something in this part. As we progress through this series it will start to get more mature and will eventually be for readers over 18+ with eventual smut as well. I just haven't decided when it’ll get more mature and when the eventual smut will happen. I did make a playlist for this series, the link to the playlist can be found in the series masterlist under "word count". And if you’d like to be added to the permanent tags let me know in the comments or send me a message. And please feel free to send some asks if you wanna know more about Eddie and Reader’s relationship or other characters in the series. I would love that a lot, it makes me excited and happy about my series.

WORD COUNT: 6.2K Words

THE DARK PARADISE SERIES MASTERLIST

The birds were chirping outside, you could hear them through the open window in your apartment. It was a warm night in the middle of August, which you thought was odd considering August seemed to have some hot days already. You turned on your air mattress and reached out for your phone that rested on the floor and had been connected to the charger. You watched the screen pop up so you could look at the time.

There was a text message from your brother and one from your dad. Luckily there was no text message from your ex. You had blocked the number she had used last night to contact you, but you wouldn't put it past her to get another number and start texting and calling you again. If that were the case you knew you would be turning your phone off a lot until you could get a new one.

After looking at the messages left from your dad and brother you decided to get ready so you could head out and look for a new teaching position. Your old school would be sending over whatever paperwork that would be needed for your hire. You had your resumé and portfolio ready. After getting ready for the day you grabbed everything you needed and headed towards your front door.

You opened the door and went to walk out only to see Eddie standing at your door ready to knock. A sudden gasp left your lips as Eddie stared down at you. You looked pretty today, Eddie couldn't deny that. The way you had dressed caused the man to smile and try and hide the blush that was creeping up his neck. You held onto your bag tightly. Your phone was in your pocket and your keys were in your left hand.

"What are you doing here?" You questioned, eyes scanning Eddie for any trace of a lie he might throw out.

"I came to see you, Bug." Eddie said, smirking after watching the roll of her eyes. So she likes to be a brat? He thought to himself as he continued to stare at you.

"Please don't call me Bug, that name is only reserved for Sam and my dad." You were stern when you told Eddie how you felt about the nickname.

"Okay, so what can I call you?" Eddie clearly wanted to know your name and you were definitely hesitant to tell him. Without a second thought crossing your mind your name dropped from your lips. Eddie smiled triumphantly. He repeated your name like he had been saying it all his life, and if you were being honest with yourself you really like how your name rolled off his tongue.

Then you wondered what he'd be like in the sheets, what he would be like with his tongue on you. Before you could get any further into the little thoughts you were having your phone started to ring. You forgot you had turned the sound back on. You answered the phone without checking who was calling you.

"Hello." You called out, Eddie was waiting for the phone call to end so he ended up leaning against the wall while you turned around and closed your door to look up.

"You are some bitch, you know that. You really think you can skip town on me and leave me behind."

You sighed and turned away from Eddie. He would still be able to hear everything but you didn't want him to see your face. You didn't want to see him the way she was making you feel.

"Jules, look, we broke up, I moved on, and you need to do the same." You tried to keep your voice calm and collected with Eddie right behind you but he could hear the break in your voice, he was sure Jules could hear it too.

"I'm not moving on, not until I have you back in my arms." Her tone of voice made you flinch slightly, something Eddie has also seen.

"That's never going to happen."

"You better believe it will. I'll-"

You ended the call before Jules could say another word to you. Your phone was quickly turned to silent and you shoved it back into your back pocket. Jules would definitely be calling you again, which meant you had to get a new phone now. Gathering yourself together you exhaled and turned around to look back at Eddie. He was still leaning against the wall.

His arms were crossed over his chest and a tattoo was peaking through slightly, not to mention you could get a better look at the few tattoos that rested on his fingers. It made him look super sexier, and it really helped that he was a biker.

"Sorry about that." You paused, while Eddie adjusted himself slightly. "It was my ex, she won't leave me alone. Jules, she thinks we're meant to be with each other, soulmates and all that bullshit."

"And you don't?" Eddie asked, he knew that maybe this was his way to get to know more about Sam's little sister.

"Well, my first ex before Jules, Mikey, he believed in all that crap and I did too. Thought he was the one I was supposed to be with but then the shit hit the window and things got bad so we broke up. Now he's in Cali fucking whoever and doing all the drugs, at least that's what I heard. Then I met Jules not even a few weeks after Mikey and I ended things and I thought she was perfect, but she was too perfect. Anyway, one thing after another happened and now here I am."

The two of you started walking down the steps. Eddie was right on your trail as he digested the new information you had given him. You still weren't going into much detail with the break-up between you and Jules but it was clear how much it was taking a toll on you. Then you stopped on the steps remembering that neither your dad nor Sam knew. Eddie stopped on the step above her, he was looking down at you and honestly it was kinda sexy.

"Please don't tell my dad, or Sam. I don't want them knowing that's the real reason I'm back in Hawkins. As far as they knew I had to leave my mom and step-father behind." You had only known this man less than a day and already you were making him keep a secret from his boss.

"You got it, princess." Though Eddie was certain that Allen and Sam would know before the week was out. It would either come out of his mouth, or you would slip, it was going to happen one way or another.

The two of you continued down the stairs of your apartment building until you finally made it to the sidewalk that led you to your car. Eddie had managed to park his bike next to your car. This allowed you to get a better look at it. His bike was a Harley Davidson, that much was clear. It also contained a design on it, most of the bike had been covered in webbing.

A large spider was in the center of the bike, standing still on the web that it seemed to have created. You looked closer at it and noticed that the spider must've been a Black Widow, because you could see the hourglass peeking through. Not to mention there were a few other hourglasses on his bike, but most were small and barely noticeable. The bike really seemed to suit Eddie, and honestly you kind of liked the way it looked.

"So where are you off to today?" Eddie questioned, as he leaned up against his bike at the same time you leaned against the hood of your car.

"I have to go to Hawkins Middle School to make sure they have all the paperwork for my transfer and I have to give them my resumé and portfolio." You paused for a minute. "They just wanted to make sure everything is good before I start working at the end of August."

You watched Eddie smile at the way you had yourself prepared for your job and you still had a few weeks to get ready. The only thing that really seemed to be crossing Eddie's mind was that he wanted to spend the day with you. It's why he had shown up at your door, hand ready to send a knock on the door at full throttle.

"Mind if I tag along with ya, princess?" Just the way his question rolled off his tongue had you a hot mess on the inside. Never in your life had someone made you feel this way. You didn't feel it with any one night stands and you definitely didn't feel it with Mikey or Jules. It was different with Eddie. You felt safe with him.

"I don't see why not." You looked at your car and then Eddie's bike. If you were being honest with yourself you wanted to ride on his bike. "Whose vehicle are we taking?" You had questioned, all while hoping he would just say his.

"We can take my bike." Eddie said softly, with a smile jumping to his lips as he stared at you.

"I guess it's a good thing I decided to go for a book bag today." You mumbled.

Eddie snickered at you. Meanwhile, you took your phone out of your pocket and placed it in your book bag with your keys. Before you dropped your keys into the bag you popped open the trunk. Walking to the back you grabbed the helmet that Sam had gifted you as an early birthday present. He gave it to you last night after Eddie and Steve had left and you felt that it would be safe and sound in the trunk of your car rather than your apartment.

When you closed your trunk and placed the helmet over your head, Eddie seemed shocked that you had come prepared. He stared at it, seeing their signature logo on the front of the helmet. Which prompted even more confusion. While you weren't a biker, you had ties to the club because your dead lead it and your brother was the second in command with Eddie and Steve right below him.

"Sam got it for me. An early birthday gift, I guess. Or maybe a welcome home gift." You smiled at Eddie as he turned on his bike and you climbed onto the back.

"When's your birthday?" Eddie adjusted himself slightly as you wrapped your arms around his waist tightly.

"At the end of August. August 31st to be exact."

"I'm glad I get to be here when you celebrate it."

"I'm turning 25, there's not much to celebrate. I'm just another year older that's all."

"I get that." Eddie paused as he backed up his bike out of the parking spot. "Better hold on tight, princess, don't want you fallin' off." You smiled, tightening your grip just a little more. Once Eddie knew you were secure around his waist he drove off heading for Hawkins Middle School.

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Eddie pulled up to the middle school and turned off his bike. You climbed off and took the helmet off, setting it where you had just been sitting. You looked at Eddie as he placed his brown eyes on you.

"I'll be waiting here when you're done. And when you're done I'm taking you into town, my treat." Eddie said, sternly.

"Eddie, you don't have to do that." You didn't want to turn him down but you also didn't want him to go out of his way to make plans with you. "Besides I'm sure Sam and my dad probably need your help with whatever they normally do." In that sense you were honestly completely clueless to what they actually did.

You knew that the club was big and that they often went out of their way to take care of things that Chief Hopper might not be able to take care of. You also knew that sometimes your dad and brother would go home with a bloody face or bloody knuckles, you knew not to ask questions when you saw it if you were on FaceTime. Basically you knew not to ask questions about work.

If they wanted to tell you they would. And you honestly didn't have a problem with that. You didn't want to really know about the horrors that they might be facing, or that they might be putting their lives on the line for the job. But at the end of the day you knew that they knew how to protect themselves. Eddie started to shake his head at you.

"Nonsense, if Allen or Sam need me they'll call me. If I'm needed for a job they know how to get in touch. But until that happens I'll be waiting here for you when you get out." There was that smile that Eddie already loved, he watched as it brightened your face. You found yourself sucking your bottom lip in-between your teeth to hide the smile on your lips.

"Okay, I shouldn't be too long. I'll be back in a little while." With those words you turned around and walked towards the front door of Hawkins Middle school. Back in New York you had spent the last two years teaching 8th grade. It was the grade that you wanted to teach and had been approved to teach in Hawkins.

As you walked into the school you headed towards the front looking for the office where you met with the principal and the assistant principal. It had been so long since you had stepped foot in the middle school, it was honestly strange to be back here as a teacher this time rather than a student. As you turned the corner you walked right into someone whom you assumed was another teacher.

"I'm sorry." You said, leaning down to help pick the papers from the ground.

"It's all right." She lifted from the ground as you did too. The woman in front of you had blond hair, it was a short length just above her shoulders. She was wearing a floral dress, and had nude heels on. "I'm Amy Willow, I teach 8th Science." She said introducing herself, then holding her hand out in front of you.

You took her hand in yours and shook it while telling her your name. "I will most likely be teaching 8th grade English. That's actually why I'm here, to get everything sorted out. I have a meeting with the principal and assistant principal." You explained.

"Oh, I can take you there. And then afterwards I can take you to your room. It's only a few doors down from mine."

"You know about me?" You were confused, but then again you wouldn't be surprised if they had already made a statement about how you would be joining them for the school year.

"Oh yeah, you're the gossip around here. Something new, we haven't had something new since the Earthquake a few years ago. Not to mention the Biker club around town. Though that one biker is kinda cute." You looked at her as you walked next to her.

"Which biker are you talking about?" You were hoping that she wasn't talking about Eddie, because you wanted nothing more than to have him to yourself. Though that thought would never see the day of light.

"He's probably a little taller than you, I think his dad runs the Wolves and he's like his second in command." You had the biggest shit eating grin on your face and Amy definitely picked up on it. "What?" She asked, with a chuckle falling out of her mouth after the chuckle.

"That is Sam, and he's my older brother."

"Oh, my god. That's embarrassing. I am so sorry."

"No, god, please don't be. Sam needs someone in his life other than my dad, and me, and the Wolves. I'd be happy to put in a good word for you." You looked at Amy, watching as her smile got bigger.

"You would do that?" The shock that dripped from her voice surprised you.

"Yes, I think you and Sam would be great together. Plus I am in dire need of some friends."

"I need some friends too. Most of the teachers don't like me. Guess cause I'm either too young or I'm too weird for them."

"How could you be too young? And honestly who cares if you're weird. Everyone's weird in their own way."

Amy gave a shrug, the two of you eventually coming to a stop outside the office. "I'm in my 20's, I went to school here a few years ago so it's weird for the teachers that know me. But anyway, here is the office. And this is my number. Feel free to text or call, or FaceTime, whatever your comfortable with and definitely give it to your brother."

"I will make sure your number makes its way into his phone. Thank you for showing me the way."

"You're welcome. I'll be just down the hall making some copies, please come get me when you're done and I'll show you to your room."

"Sounds like a plan." You took the piece of paper that had her number on it and shoved it in your pocket. Then after saying your goodbye to Amy you headed into the office to sit down and talk with the principal's. All went well and they gave you keys to get into the school and to get into your room. Afterwards you met up with Amy and she walked you to your room.

It was a little bigger than the room you had in New York. You couldn't wait to decorate and make the room yours. On the desk that rested at the front of the classroom had your work laptop as well as the curriculum for what you would be teaching this year. As you glanced over it you noticed that it was a little different from the curriculum that you had been teaching in New York.

This was the fresh start you desperately needed. And now that you had your classroom and your work computer, everything was falling into place. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you turned around in the classroom. While you had a lot of setting up to do for the classroom you knew it would be worth it in the long run. There was a knock at your door and you looked to see Amy.

"I'm heading out for the day, just wanted to say goodbye." Amy said.

"I'll walk with you, just give me a sec." Amy gave a nod of her head. You turned towards your desk and unzipped your book bag putting your laptop and the papers into it. Once it was zipped you walked out of the classroom walking with Amy.

"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Amy questioned.

"Oh, I'm going to see the town, I don't really have a choice in the matter. And then my dad wants me to stop by later for something." You explained as the two of you walked out of the school. Your eyes found Eddie who was still leaning against his bike. "Do you wanna meet someone?" You asked, placing your eyes on Amy.

"Sure." She saw Eddie and seemed to be hesitant but followed behind her. Eddie picked himself up from his bike.

"Eddie, this is Amy Willow. We'll be working together in the next few weeks. Amy, this is Eddie Munson."

"Oh, you work with her brother Sam right?" Amy was in all smiles as she asked the question. Eddie was staring at her with a blank look, it seemed that he was studying her to determine if she would be safe enough around you.

"I do. He's one of my best friends." Eddie answered, causing you to look at him with a serious but playful look. Something of which Eddie took note of. You knew now that if you wanted to do something with Eddie you might just have to sneak around, it got you hot and bothered just thinking about it.

"Oooh that's so exciting. Well I should get going. I'll see you around." Amy turned to look at you. "If you need help setting up your room, just call down to my room or shoot me a text. And if you want to hang out over a glass of wine please let me know." Your laughter filled Eddie's ears as your smiled brightly at her. He couldn't help the little small smile that appeared on his lips.

"I will let you know. Thank you for being a huge help today. And I promise I'll put in a good word with Sam. I'll make sure you two have a date by the end of the week."

Shock ran across Amy's face, as Eddie exchanged a glance with you. You felt that this had been the most happy you had been since leaving New York. You were with a guy that you definitely felt growing feelings towards, and you had made your first friend.

"You really don't have to do that." Amy was insistent on it.

"Nonsense, I think it's the least I can do for someone whom I know will be my best friend, and maybe one day my sister-in-law." You and Eddie both saw the blush that crept on her face as she looked between you two. Amy gave a nod and eventually walked away. You moved over to Eddie and he looked at you.

"Give me one minute." Eddie said, he left you on his bike confused as he called out Amy's name. From a distance you watched the two make a brief interaction with each other. You watched her give Eddie a nod before they both turned away from each other. Amy was heading to her car again and Eddie was heading back to you.

"What was that all about?" You asked curiously, staring at the biker with soft eyes.

He gave a tight lipped smile, "just wanted to ask her something, that's all. You ready for the town tour?" Eddie questioned, trying to change the subject quickly.

"You know that I lived in Hawkins when I was younger, right?"

"I know, but I'm sure it's changed since you were last here."

You gave a slight nod with a shrug of your shoulders. Eddie climbed on his bike and turned it on. You placed your helmet over your hair and climbed onto the back of the bike, eventually wrapping your arms around Eddie's slim waist tightly. He smirked to himself, taking off heading down the road towards town.

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Your travels into the town had been short lived. Though what you had seen, you could tell just how much the town of Hawkins had changed since you had last visited it. You and Eddie were now heading to your dad's house as requested. Though you were still clueless as to why you were even going there. You had a small smile on your lips when Eddie pulled up to your dad's house.

"Here we are, princess." Eddie said, kicking the stand out and turning his bike off. You pulled your arms from Eddie's waist, and turned to look at the house you hadn't seen in so long.

"Home sweet home." You said, pulling your helmet off and holding onto the straps after you clipped them back together.

"How longs it been since you were here?" Eddie questioned as he placed his brown eyes on you.

Your eyes found his, "uh, I think about 10 maybe more than that, maybe less. I came for a few summers but then my mother didn't want me seeing my dad or brother anymore so I didn't see them for a long time, or this house. The only time I really saw my brother and dad was when I could FaceTime with them when I got a phone."

"Are you excited to be back home?" You walked towards the front door with Eddie following right behind you.

"Of course I am. I hated living in New York. Teaching up there was okay, but I hated everything the city had to offer. So yes, I am very happy to be back home with this quiet life."

"Hopefully it won't be such a quiet life." Eddie smirked at you. You looked back at him playfully.

"I don't think I will, not if you're planning to stay around."

"Well, I don't plan on going anywhere princess."

The door opens and you turn back around to see your older brother standing at the front door with a bright smile on his face.

"Why are you smiling like that, Sam?" You asked quizzically.

Sam looked at you and then at Eddie, but then his eyes fell back on you. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Bug." Sam grabbed your arm and pulled you into the house.

Eddie followed behind the two of you watching the sibling interaction. The lights turned on and everyone jumped out yelling surprise. The sudden noise caused you to panic slightly, you backed up into Eddie. The biker took notice of the way you suddenly changed at the voices that ran through your ears. But you calmed down when you felt Eddie slid his fingers into yours for just a brief moment.

You were quick to replace your panicked look with a happy one. Sam didn't take notice of the way you had reacted but like Eddie your dad had seen it too. He would make sure to pull you aside later and have a talk with you about it. Deep down it brought you back to the times where you and Jules would constantly argue with each other, not to mention the amount of times that your step-father would raise his voice to you.

Sam pulled you around to everyone, your fingers disconnected from Eddie's as you were pulled away. You were introduced to Chief Hopper and his wife Joyce. After you had meant them you had met the kids that Steve used to babysit before he became a part of the Wolves. Though they were in college now, you met all of them. Dustin Henderson was the first you had met followed by Mike Wheeler who was Nancy Wheeler's younger brother.

You met Will and El who were step-siblings, and their older brother Jonathan who was dating Nancy. Then you finally met Lucas and Erica Sinclair who had been standing with Max Mayfield. Eventually you noticed all the kids were hanging out with each other and talking about a game while they ate some food. Steve introduced you to his girlfriend, Becca Reynolds.

She was nice and you like her a lot. After you had met her, you finally met Robin and you knew almost instantly that you two would be best friends. The last person you least expected to be there had been one you already knew.

"Amy?" You asked, as she stuffed her face with a burger. She turned away from your father and looked at you and Sam. Eddie was elsewhere, most likely talking to Steve and Becca. She dropped her burger onto her plate and placed it on the counter. Your dad turned around and looked at you and your brother. "What are you doing here?" You questioned as the two of you hugged each other.

Sure you had just met earlier in the morning, but she was already your first real friend here in Hawkins. Like Eddie, and your dad and brother she was making Hawkins feel like a home again.

"Uh, Eddie, he invited me this morning. He thought you might like having someone you know here at the party." Amy answered, when she pulled back from the hug. You had a bubbly smile on your lips, your eyes found Eddie. He had been watching the entire interaction.

"Thank you." You whispered to him. Eddie only gave a nod and smiled back at you.

"So who is this? She seems to be the only one that we don't know." Sam said, pulling your attention back to the already ongoing conversation.

"This is Amy Willow, we'll be working together soon." You answered.

"It's nice to meet you Amy, I'm Sam. Bug's older brother." Sam said introducing himself to her. It seemed like you didn't need to do anything else because Sam was already so interested in Amy. You dad took that as a perfect opportunity to talk to you in his office. He excused himself as well as you and grabbed a hold of your hand pulling him with you.

"Dad, what are you doing?" You questioned, completely confused as to what was happening.

"We need to talk in my office." His words cut through your ears and you suddenly feared what he wanted to talk about. When you two were in his office and the door was closed and locked he sat down at the edge of his desk looking at you. "Tell me why you're really here, Bug." Allen said.

Your eyes found your father and took in the frame of his stance, he had locked the door so you knew neither of you would be leaving until you came out with the truth. You hadn't even been here for a week and he had already picked up on something. Though to be fair your dad could read you like a book. When you were involved you couldn't hide your emotions from him like you could with others.

Though you weren't doing a good job hiding it from Eddie because you had already spilled the news to Eddie. A deep sigh rippled through your chest, you walked over to one of the chairs in front of his desk and sat down. You tried to keep yourself calm but you found that didn't help much when you started bouncing your leg.

"Would you be okay if Eddie were in here?" You questioned, not looking up from your hands.

You dad didn't say anything, he stood up and walked towards the door and walked out leaving you alone with your thoughts. Allen knew that the second you came here that Eddie would be interested in you, because you were everything he wanted. And he knew it would be the same for you and by the look of it you two were already tugging at something.

"Munson!" Allen called out, Sam looked at Allen with a serious look on his face as he stopped the conversation between him and Amy.

"Everything okay, dad?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Make sure the guests are well fed, or get them in the pool." Allen ordered as Eddie walked up to him.

"Everything okay, sir?" Eddie inquired when he stopped in front of Allen.

"Come with me." Allen turned back around and walked down the hallway with Eddie following behind him. Sam did as told and got their guest and the rest of the Wolves outside where the pool was. Most of them had gone outside anyway but the rest were still inside. You looked up when your dad walked back into his office with Eddie on his trail.

"What's happening?" Eddie asked another question as the door was shut and locked.

Allen looked at Eddie and then at you. "I know what trouble looks like when I see it. So tell me, Bug, what did Jules do to you that made you run back home?" Allen questioned you.

"How do you know about Jules?" You were now utterly confused. You had only told your brother about Jules, you didn't want either of your parents to know. You knew both would be a pain because you were jumping into another relationship rather than taking a pause. "Sam told you, didn't he?"

"He did, and when I found out I had Hopper find everything he could find on her. Turns out Jules isn't her real name and she doesn't have a pretty past." Eddie looked at your dad with wide eyes, you having the same look on your face as well.

"What does that mean?" The question left Eddie's lips before he could stop it.

"It means that you're going to stay with my daughter and protect her until we can locate Jules and have her arrested for some kind of charge. You're the only boy I trust enough to protect my baby. I knew what was happening the second you told Sam you were coming back to Hawkins." Your dad explained.

"What did she do?" You asked, fearful of what you might learn about Jules.

"For starters her name isn't Jules, it's Jessica. She kept the same last name but changed her first name. If someone wants to go into hiding the way she did she should've changed her entire name. Secondly, Jessica Hartley killed her mother and father, and pleaded guilty to insanity. Before the trail was finished she escaped. She had the help of her ex-girlfriend before you, and well she didn't live to see another day because she's dead too. Now Jessica won't stop until you're dead and I'm not going to let her hurt you."

So much for a fresh start. You thought that to yourself, your dad and Eddie were talking to each other but you couldn't hear their voices. The only thing you could actually hear was a ringing in your ears that wouldn't seem to go away. Not only had she lied to you about who she was but now she might just be on her way to kill you. The panic was starting to settle in the pit of your stomach. You took a deep breath in and exhaled.

"Where is Jessica now? Is she still in New York?" You heard Eddie ask your father.

"I have some of the boys up in New York checking out her apartment. I'm hoping that she's still there and we don't have to prepare for any kind of war that she might want to start."

You stood up from your chair, keeping your eyes on your father. Eddie and Allen were staring at you. "Why would you have to prepare for a war?"

"Because Jessica Hartley is the actual daughter of one of our largest and painfully annoying rival groups. They are mostly located in California, but they have some in New York too. They're the reason Jessica killed her parents, her ex was a part of the group but her dad had her kill her. And well now he wants you dead because he can't get anywhere near me or Sam."

"Fuck." You breathed out, now you really wished you had seen the red flags. You lifted your hand to your throat and started rubbing it.

"Honey, you're gonna be okay. Eddie's gonna stay with you and watch out for you. Not to mention Amy will be watching you while you're at work, and Robin will be there too. Eddie can make as many stops to the school as he needs to if that's something you want."

"What? Are you saying Amy fucking works for you?" Allen could see that what he had said wasn't helping you.

"She does and doesn't. Her dad was a ranger out in Texas before he moved out here. I trusted her father and I trust her, she knows how to use a gun and how to fight. She's still a teacher but she will protect you if needed."

"No." You said sternly, eyeing your father.

"If Jules is coming after me then you're going to use me as bait. You're going to train me how to protect myself and I expect to be a part of this after it's over."

"No, I'm not letting you get in on this, I barely wanted your brother with me. You have a good life as a teacher."

"I can barely afford the apartment I'm living in. And yes I love teaching the kids and for the remainder of this year I'll still teach, but I want in dad. I'm not going to be some damsel in distress. I'm not gonna sit on the sidelines while Eddie, Amy, and Robin try to protect me from my psycho ex girlfriend who I wished I had seen the red flags before I got involved with her. I am doing this."

Eddie and Allen exchanged a look with each other. "What do you think, Munson?" Allen questioned, hoping he would side with him.

"I think your daughter is tough, and I think this plan would work. Maybe Bug here is the key to taking down the Stingers. Maybe this is how we get on top of them. I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree with princess over there." Eddie said, having your back.

Allen released an angry sigh as he looked at the two. This is not what he had in mind at all. But he knew deep down that this plan might just allow them to put a stop to the Stingers before any more damage could be done.

"Okay, fine. But your training starts tomorrow. Eddie is still staying with you. And we have to wait for the call to decide where we go from there." Allen explained.

"What call?"

"We're waiting to see if Hartley is still in New York."

"And if she's not?"

"Then you're gonna have to be a damsel in distress."

TAGS: @funsonmunson-again @inhumanssxx @lma1986 @corrodedcoffincumslut @squidscottjeans

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blooming-violets · 9 months ago

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Shit I forgot to put this in my rb but I wanted to ask what do you think would happen to reader if Peter actually went through with it? I'd like to be a but optimistic and say she surely but slowly recovers from it all but I'm not so sure. How would Aunt May react to that? Becoming a widow then a grieving mother in the span of a few years? Sorry I don't mean to be pushy but like I said I loved the way you beautifully crafted this story from an ask

Trigger Warnings!!!!: it's all about suicide and talking about it and discussing it, it is not something everyone feels comfortable reading or conversing about so please don't continue if it is too upsetting for you, Peter Parker kills himself and I write about it, Gwen's death ptsd is explored and he sees her as a rotting corpse version of herself who talks to him before he dies, the grief of losing someone you love to suicide is also talked about, it's all depressing but if you love depressing angst shit then come on over and join in (not join in on the killing yourself part jfc I mean joining in on the talking about this story) READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION only you know what you are capable of handling when you read. I can't help you any further than explaining the warnings.

Previous posts where this is all discussed:

[first part] [second part] and I rewrite this drabble from two years ago to fit this story but you can read the original here if you feel like it (it ends with less death that this one).

One of my darker, more angsty headcanons is that Peter kills himself by throwing himself off the same clock tower Gwen died in. It takes a few years for it to get rebuilt back to it's former glory. Peter patiently waits those years until it's finally finished. Almost a quiet, stoic sort of patience. A little scary with how composed he is. Like not given any indication of his plans. He wears a beautifully composed mask until the day it happens because he is so sure in his plans and doesn't want a single person to sway him from them. He's stubborn and set in his ways and this is what he feels he needs to do. This headcanon doesn't exactly fit into the story I wrote as that version of Peter is much more unhinged in his actions, and I don't think clocktower Peter could ever let himself get into a relationship because he's too obsessed with Gwen still and knows he's going to die so he's not going to bring anyone else into that mess, but it's just a little random headcanon I always had so I thought I would share since this is suicide talking hour. Maybe I can rework it a bit to fit with this story better.

Let's say unhinged Peter (as I'm calling him now lol) does let the ghosts win. What happens to our Reader character would entirely depend on when in the relationship he went through with it. If she's too far gone and too far down the hole after Peter, then I sort of fear for her future. Unless she has someone really important in her life who would help her, I think she would just keep sinking until she ended up back on that ledge, except this time there's no Peter to catch her. And I personally don't think she has anyone that close to her, especially after mentioning that all her friends stopped texting her or asking her to hang out. They all kind of gave up on her so, when she's at her lowest, I really don't think anyone would be the wiser due to the isolation they both put themselves in.

I want to rewrite something I wrote two years ago that either wasn't that great and people didn't like or it just slipped under the radar (because it wasn't about an x reader or love or anything, it was just Peter's ptsd taking over and sometimes people don't give a shit about a fic if it isn't tagged with x reader). It fits really well in this new story to help show what could go on in Peter's head with how terribly Gwen still sticks with him and what exactly it is he's "seeing" that would push him to throwing himself off a building.

Cut to me pausing to frantically google if Peter Parker could survive a fall off a building or if his super powers make him strong enough to withstand it...

Okay maybe falling isn't the best plan of action but I really like (like isn't the right word but I'm going with it) that idea of him mimicking Gwen's death because he's so haunted by it. He would want to feel what she felt. He would want to go the same way. So for the sake of this story, he's can't withstand that fall.

“Leave me alone!” Peter shouted into the dark shadows of the clock tower. He sat huddled against the newly built glass wall that domed up over his head. The bright, white light of the moon hung in the sky above him and casted wavering shadows around him to mess with his vision. The turning of grinding gears below him haunted his memories of the night Gwen died. Eight years and she still haunted him every time he dared to fall asleep.

He couldn't take it anymore. His head was a mess. His thoughts were spinning.

He was just so tired.

He had fallen asleep here accidentally. Maybe if he went to the source of the problem, she would disappear. It was a stupid plan

It only made her stronger. This was where his ghost of her was most alive.

Maybe that's why he really showed up. He wanted to see her. He wanted to finally confront his demons. She was calling to him and he had to answer.

He had slipped a crushed up sleeping pill into his girlfriends water during dinner. He carried her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her soft and gently. She didn't need to see this. This wasn't for her. She needed to be free of him. He needed to let her go before it was too late. She wouldn't understand at first but, maybe, with time...

What had time ever done for him except make Gwen stronger?

He slipped an envelope onto the bedside table beside her. One for her. One for May. He wasn't sure if he would make it home this time. His mind could still change. He could still make it back before she woke up.

But they were.

Just in case.

He couldn't leave them with nothing.

She was here now. Ready to haunt him like usual. Ready to take over and ruin him. Night after night. Day after day. She was always there. Gwen never left. She walked beside him through it all.

Tonight, she was angry. Furious. This was where he had let her die. Of course, she would be the most powerful here.

He no longer had his girlfriend to help soften Gwen's blows. There was no one to intervene. Only him and Gwen. Stuck in a staring contest. Sizing each other up.

The sunken in face of his dead lover glared back at him from just below his edge of his of his perch, trembling from the sight under him. She was standing on top of a giant gear, watching him, judging him. A large smile grew across her pale, bluing lips. It was too wide. Too big for her face. Her teeth looked rotten and jagged inside of her mouth. A trickle of blood slowly trailed out of her nostril.

“What’s the matter, Peter?” She taunted. Her sickly voice swirled around his head like a swarm of mosquitos. “Did you miss me? Is that why you came here? To see me clearly again? Well, here I am. Look at me. Dead. Putrefied. All for you. Aren't I beautiful? This is what you've done to me.”

A loud sob shuddered through his chest and ripped out his throat. He brought up a hand to wipe away the snot flowing freely out his nose. This nightmare was too familiar. He knew this too well. He didn't feel like he was dreaming this time. He never did.

If it wasn't a dream then his mind was truly gone. Distinguishing between reality and fiction was something he no longer had control over.

This was as real to him as anything.

“Please, Gwen. Please,” he pleaded with her. “Go away. I can’t do this again. Please. You have to let me go."

She tutted her tongue in annoyance and shook her head with disbelief, “Oh, Peter. I have to let you go? Do you think I want to be here?” She became climbing up the gears and the scaffolding towards him. She looked more like himself as she climbed, enhanced and spider-like, taking the movements straight out his brain until she was perching on the ledge beside him. “Do you think this fun for me?”

Peter whimpered in response. His tears were blurring his vision but he was afraid to wipe them away. He was terrified of what might happen if he took his eyes off of her, like watching a snake in the grass, it's better if you can see it in your sights instead of letting it hide and able to strike.

Gwen walked with slow, purposeful steps towards him until she stood directly over him as he cowered backwards on all fours. Under the pale moonlight hanging above them, her skin turned yellow, painted with purpling hues and blacks, and rotting away around her cheekbones to show parts of red, bleeding muscle under the pulled back skin. Her, once vibrant, blonde hair now hung in patchy strands from her head. Most of her hair had fallen out leaving her balding and sickly. When she smiled, browning, broken teeth shone back at him, they hung lose in her jaw, rattling around when she spoke.

She was a walking, decaying corpse sent to haunt him every time he closed his eyes.

“Look at what you’ve done to me!” Her shrill voice echoed off the glass walls. She spun around to show him the back of her head. Her skull was caved in. Parts of brain matter clung to her hair and blood stained what was left of the blonde a deep red. She turned back to face him, leaning in close so she was mere inches away. He could smell the heavy scent of freshly dug dirt and wet grass clinging to her rotting finger nails like she had clawed her way straight out of the ground to find him.

She snarled, “You did this, Peter! This is your fault!”

Peter flinched and scrambled backwards to get away from her, “No! Please, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't know...I didn't know...I thought I could catch you. I thought I could save you. I'm sorry. Please, Gwen. Please. I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I’m dead,” she smirked, eyes darkening, enjoying his torment. She sunk down to her hands and knees to crawl over him, pressing her skeletal body against him, until he was laying flat against the ground with no where else to go.

"Look at me," she whispered into his ear. “I was going to go Oxford. I was going to be a scientist. I was going to change the world. The only way I can change the world now is by letting the worms feast through my flesh until there is nothing left. Something tasty for the bugs. That's all I am now.”

Peter whimpered, turning his head away from her and flinching into himself.

He heard her sniffle like she was about to start crying. He hated hearing her cry.

"Don't you love me anymore, Peter?" She whined. "Don't you care about me? Why did you find someone else? Why did you forget me so quickly? I loved you so much and you left me for the worms. Only they kiss my skin now."

His heart sank and guilt flooded him. Slowly, he turned his head to face her, blinking up at her. For a moment, she looked just like he remembered. Beautiful. Whole. Healthy. Alive.

Peter gave a shuddered, shaky breath, whispering in awe, "Gwen."

She beamed down at him. There were no rotting teeth, no blood, her hair was full and luscious. She was glowing under golden light with happy tears in her eyes like his memory of her on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Kiss me," she whispered against his lips. "Like you used to."

Peter's eyes slipped close. His heart ached.

"I can't," he mumbled back. "I love someone else now. I love her like I loved you. She..."

He needed to get back to her. She needed him. He needed her. He should have never left her tonight. He had to leave.

A wailing growl shot ice through his veins as Gwen let out a shriek of pain as if she had read his mind. She was back to her decaying corpse. The sight terrified him.

"You will not leave me! I won't let you! You're mine, Peter! Mine!"

Peter kicked up his feet to shove her off of him. He scrambled backwards away from the haunting vision.

"I can't, Gwen," he pleaded. "I can't be with you anymore."

He frantically shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, in an attempt to make her disappear. Usually by now, his girlfriend would hear him screaming. She'd be here to block Gwen from his sights. She'd be there to force her away until he was safe.

Tonight, there was no one but him.

"This isn't real," he muttered to himself. "She's not really here. She's dead. She's buried underground. Locked in a coffin. This isn't real. When I open my eyes, she'll be gone."

He peaked an eye open. A sense of relief washed over him. He was alone in the clock tower. There was no one here but him.

He could still go home. He could still make it back to her before she woke up and rid her bed side of those letters.

She would never have to know.

Peter took a deep breath, half way through exhaling it when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Gwen's decomposing face poked into his peripheral vision as she whispered menacingly in his ear, "Boo."

He screamed, jumping away, to the sound of her taunting laughter.

"I'm still here, Peter!" She cackled. "You can't get rid of me that easily! I am always going to be here. I am always going to follow you. I will never let you go." Her voice softened. Almost sweet. Sad. Longing. "Because I'm your path, Peter. I am always going to be your path. Follow me everywhere just like you promised. I want you to follow me. I need you..."

She reached out her hand for him to take. The skin had rotted away around the tips of her fingers leaving nothing by bones reaching for him.

This wasn't his Gwen. His Gwen was dead. She was buried in the ground surrounded by fresh flowers. The thing in front of him was nothing but a product of his own twisted mind. Birthed from his guilt and excruciating pain. A monster of his own creation.

"I can't," he choked out through his tears. "Someone else needs me now. I'm sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But I can't follow you. Not yet."

Anger flashed over her darkened, bloodshot eyes, “No! You promised you’d follow me anywhere. Follow me to the grave, you liar!”

Peter cringed at her harsh words. Tears blurring his vision. He had promised.

"Gwen, please," he begged. "Let me go."

Her face softened. He watched her grow back into old self again. Her rich purple dress. Lace tights. Knee high boots. Pale blue jacket. All highlighting her perfectly beautiful face. Large, bright green eyes without a blonde hair out of place. Always so put together. Always nothing less than perfection.

"You want me to go?" She asked, turning around slowly for her to take him in. There was no crack in the back of her skull. No blood.

His breath caught in his throat. He tried to reach out for her, to draw her closer against him, but she stepped away. Just out of his reach.

"You want me to go so I'll go." She whispered. "But you'll have to watch. Again and again and again. You'll have to listen to the sound of my skull cracking against the pavement. Hear my spine snap as your web jerks me upwards. Smell my blood pouring from my open, split open head." A trickle of red blood started to leak out her nose as her eyes closed. "Only you can make it all stop. Only you can make me go away. You know exactly how to do it, Peter. All you have to do is follow me. Just like you promised. Follow me and it will all end."

He blinked through his tears, taking a slow step towards her.

"Follow you," he muttered in a trance like state. "I'll follow you anywhere you go. You're my path. I'll write my love for you across the Brooklyn Bridge so everyone in New York can see it."

She smiled, soft and sweet, "Follow me. Don't leave me alone. Stay with me, Peter. Forever."

"Forever..."

Her arms out stretched to her sides and she leaned back, stepping off the ledge and sinking out of sight past the giant gears, hurdling straight towards her death.

"No!" He shouted.

Without thinking, without caring, Peter leapt after her. He had done this move so many times in his nightmares. He had obsessively walked through every single second of her death. Again and again just like she said. He knew it better than he knew himself.

He jumped on instinct. He leapt after her like he always did.

Keeping his promise. Following her down any path she took.

I know you asked how May and Reader would respond to such a thing afterwards but that's like one topic that's just a little too hard for me to write about. I know it's weird that I can talk about Peter throwing himself to his death and I can write about depression and suicidal ideation and self harm and ptsd and guilt and feelings of worthlessness but writing about someone like May (who I relate far too much to my own mother) finding her boy dead is just a hair too much for my heart to take haha. I was originally going to write a scene of his funeral but then I was like nah too much for even me. I can't watch May cry over her dead kid.

I will say that he would be buried next to his parents under the same gravestone which sits besides Ben's. It's a few rows down from Gwen so Peter can always be near her.

I don't even think I actually answered your original ask but I got carried away with Peter in the clock tower!

Also May puts matching flowers on both Peter's and Gwen's graves every time she visits. hahahaha i gotta stop writing fuck me

#andrew garfield #tasm #peter parker #tasm peter #tasm peter parker #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm fic #peter parker fic #tasm angst #peter parker angst

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klainelynch · 6 months ago

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Hey friend! So I’ve been listening to a bunch of your Royai podfics lately and I just love them. Its the best way to get my fic fix while also being a productive adult lol. I’m blown away with how professional and polished your stuff is! You definitely could be recording full blown audiobooks, if you aren’t already! (And if you are, I’d love to know where to find those!)

I’m intrigued by your whole process: how you pick stories, record, edit, etc. Choosing when and where to use tone inflection, pacing, all that. You can fully nerd out if you feel like it! I’m so curious. ☺️❤️

Ahhhh what a wonderful message to find in my inbox!! 🥰🥰🥰 I'm so happy that my podfics have become something that you listen to in your daily routine! I don't record audiobooks or do this in any kind of a professional sense, but I do try to emulate what I love of different audiobooks/professional productions and other peoples' podfics, so your compliment means the world to me!

I started with a very stream-of-consciousness response and have tried to cohere it into something readable. You said I could fully nerd out, so here's over 2k of me taking you up on that xD

Choosing a fic:

I tend to gravitate towards fics that have more narration as opposed to dialogue. I love being in a character's head and fully living in their world and the way they experience it. When I am reading dialogue, I don't try to sound exactly like the voice actor (if it's from a tv show or movie) or adopt their accent, but I do try to embody the character in my voice, if that makes sense. If there are too many characters with dialogue, this gets difficult for me, which is why many of my solo podfics have two or fewer characters who speak, or why I create multivoice podfics with fellow podficcers.

In my podfic spreadsheet, there are several pages dedicated to fics that I'd like to record someday. Most of them are under 1k, though I do have a few that are around 3k (which would be on the longer side for me). I jot notes to remember what each fic is/what I would like to do with it—some examples of what those sound like with fics I haven't recorded yet: Zuko asks how Iroh survived when Lu Ten died because of Izumi feels; Al reflecting on Royai rebuilding Isvhal, no dialogue; Roy takes Riza out on a date (cover art would be a theatre program); good angsty Edwin moment after the boys come home (could have thunder in background); Ghost!Roy as Riza carried on, will need to build to this level of angst; Abbott Elementary book fair *chef's kiss*; Roy announces he’s engaged to some mystery woman but PSYCHE HE’S ALREADY MARRIED TO RIZA.

I used to have a pretty even split of recording fics with blanket permission versus asking authors for permission, but these days, I tend to be too lazy to ask lol. Not saying that I won't do it, but when the mood strikes me to record, I need to know pretty quickly if I can complete the project, and a bp statement really helps with that!

Prep work:

When I first began podficcing, I would put the entire fic into a google doc. This let me annotate the script for every little thing (highlighting dialogue, typing out phonetic pronunciations of difficult names/words, and putting spaces in between sections of text to help with breath control being the most common). The more I podficced, the less I had to annotate, until all I would do with my scripts was put in the spaces. I want my breath to be consistent/unnoticeable, so I read with that in mind. Often you can use the punctuation as your guide, but sometimes there are long stretches with no punctuation, and I have to figure out how a sentence should be cut up to make its meaning clear.

I didn't make these scripts for any of my solo podfics during Voiceteam this past May, and I still felt comfortable recording, so I think I may be past needing this tool for the most part. I just need to read through the fic a few times and look up any potential pronunciation issues right before I record.

Recording the podfic:

My early podfics were recorded with the microphone attached to my earbuds, and you can definitely hear it in the quality 🙈🙉 I did at least use a makeshift pop filter, so that helped with my plosives from the beginning.

After a few months, I got a blue snowball mic, which makes the quality so much clearer, and even more so once I got a computer that can run Audacity (more on why I love this program later).

I currently record in my closet, which is a long wide shape, so the doors don't close all the way when I'm inside of it. I shut them as best as I can to prevent outside noises, and I stand as I record. I used to sit at my desk with a soundproofing box around my mic, but I found it hard to get good breaths for long periods of time, so now I stand. The tradeoff is that I have to be wearing good shoes if I'm recording more than thirty-ish minutes (which could happen if the podfic is ultimately longer than twelve or so minutes because…)

My raw audio is usually at least twice as long as the final product. I often record several takes for lines, sometimes if I mess up, but usually if I don't think I captured the emotional quality that I can hear in my head when I read the line with my eyes. Sometimes it takes up to ten times for a line to feel right; other times, an early take ends up being the best one.

The previous point touches on how I handle putting inflection into my voice. The other part of it is thinking through how the speaker would say a particular word/phrase. If it's narration, I've emotionally been with that speaker for the entire fic, so I lean into that; if it's dialogue, it might be someone new, so I have to switch my brain. Either way, I have to (consciously or unconsciously) think through: 1. how would I personally say this? 2. how would the character say this? 3. how would the audience want to hear this? 4. how would the meaning be most effectively heard? Often there is overlap in these questions, but not always. If there's a conflict between these, I try to remember that my audience is probably just listening with their ears, not simultaneously reading with their eyes, so I need to prioritize their being able to understand what is happening and why. That's why I try to affect my voice in different ways and not literally mumble or shout, even if the fic has the character doing that.

Since you mentioned my Royai podfics, I will mention one way I distinguish their voices depending on who the narrator is. When Roy is the narrator, any of his dialogue is in my normal voice, and Riza's dialogue becomes slightly higher and slower; when Riza is the narrator, her dialogue is in my normal voice, and Roy's dialogue becomes slightly lower and faster.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to nail the first and especially the last line of a fic, so I will record a good number of takes for those. It's only happened once that I loved the first take I did of a final line. Sometimes I annoy myself at how many takes I record, but I'm thankful for the choices when I'm editing, so this is simply how I do things!

The hardest part of recording for me is keeping my voice quality consistent. I drink a lot of water throughout the day, but even so, I get dry mouth as I record, and once you're at that point, drinking more water doesn't really help. Tricks like chewing gum or brushing my teeth right before recording help me out.

Editing the podfic:

This has actually become my favorite part of the process! It feels like a puzzle and a treasure hunt, trying to find the best ways to pick out the best parts of my performance and turn it into a final product.

When I started podficcing, I had a chromebook, so the only audio editing software available was free online websites. I don't even remember the ones I used, but they did most of the things I wanted, and they let me get my foot in the door. The problem was that they were limited in tools, such as…

Noise reduction is my favorite feature of Audacity, which is the software I currently use. If you go back and listen to my podfics chronologically, you can clearly tell when I started using it because the general crackle in the background disappears. I have no plans to delete old pods, but it is as painful for me to listen to them for this reason as it is to reread fics I wrote in high school lol

The first round of edits is picking out the best takes for each line. Sometimes that means listening to several takes over and over before I choose my favorite; occasionally, I splice together the first half of one take and the second half of another. I'm very proud when I can do this with a single word and you can't tell the difference at all. I laugh when it sounds like I've done this with a word, but actually I just read it weird and I have no other take to substitute it with xD

Something else I do in the first edits is take out excessive space between sentences and paragraphs. I basically reset my breath/voice after every segment (could be a sentence or part of a sentence) so there's always extra space. I tend to edit down to one to two seconds between sentences, two to three seconds between paragraphs, and four to five seconds between entire sections of a fic. Of course, there are always exceptions (a character feeling very emotional, especially angry or excited, will have faster sentences; dialogue is formatted in paragraphs but it is inflection rather than time that indicates to the audience that a new paragraph/speaker has begun; an emotional line might require more space to let the audience process it).

Once I have all of the words edited together, I will do a second round of edits for tightening up the pacing. I listen to the edit without looking at the text, keeping my hands busy with a video game or coloring. As I'm listening, if something feels too fast or too slow, I'll make edits in real time, back it up, and listen again. The reason I can't read and listen during this pass is because my eyes are expecting too much and I can't properly hear what the audience will hear. When I began podficcing, I thought I had enough space in between words and sentences, but when I would listen back, I realized that I had cut too much out and the podfic's speed was faster than I liked. Now I leave more space in during the first edit and do this pacing pass.

Once I'm happy with the narration, I save it as a narration only file. I love adding in music and effects when I can, but I'm sure there are some who would rather only listen to the narration, so I make this available for accessibility and preference reasons.

I will usually make a final version with music and/or sound effects. This is one area where I'm specifically trying to emulate professional audiobooks and how they use music under the opening credits before fading out as the story begins.

Finding music is its own kind of scavenger hunt. I prefer to use public domain or creative commons music because it feels more true to the collaborative/transformative spirit that podfics have for me, and the idea of a podfic being taken down for copyright reasons does make me nervous. ccmixter and Purple Planet have a lot of songs that I've used in the past. The former has literally thousands of songs, which can overwhelm me if I'm working on a deadline, so I will sometimes just listen to random tracks and download anything that might be helpful in the future. That being said, if a fic uses a song lyric as a title or the author mentions a song as inspiration, I will try to use that song as the music if possible. I'm especially proud of how I used "Wait for It" at the end of An Endless Uphill Climb.

I use sound effects far less frequently than music, but they are fun when there is a natural place for them. I love the Star Wars audiobooks, and they often use sound effects and music in a way that heightens the emotions in the listener. That is always my guiding star, though I will admit to sometimes using effects just because they make me happy!

Cover art:

Like music/sound effects, this part is totally optional, but I usually do it because I have a lot of fun with it! I make everything in Canva, and again, I try to use public domain or creative commons images. Openverse is my go-to search engine because they make it really easy to tell which images I'm allowed to use in what ways. Sometimes I have a vision and try to find images to match; other times I have no idea and just see what I can find, or I can't find what I had in mind and have to switch gears.

Random facts that I couldn't find a spot for:

I learned how to read for an audience by being a lector at mass (reading either something from the Old Testament or something from the New Testament, other than the Gospels) in a church with lots of marble, which explains why I read on the slow side. Had to leave room for the echo before I started speaking the next line!

I've actually found that my own fic writing became easier to read aloud once I started podficcing. That doesn't make it better or worse—there are beautiful passages in literature/fic that are easier to read with the eyes than with the ears. But it is definitely a thing.

Thank you again for sending this ask! I hope this peek behind the curtain was interesting to you, even if it was probably far more than you were asking for xD And another thank you for listening to my podfics—it really does mean so much to me that something I've made can brighten up your day 💖

#the-blue-eyed-firebender #my things #podfic

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msnanu · 1 year ago

Text

Life Twist 10 | JJK

⏤ banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren’t expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK’s noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 8.5K+

⏤ author’s note ❧ Angst is here 😔 I hate writing angsty chapters because I feel every emotion written on it honestly. Hope you enjoy reading it!! Please, let me know your thoughts 🙂 your opinions are really valuable for me 🙆

It had been a very long week for Jungkook. Spending most of it prepping the presentation of the new videogame design for his boss, a videogame that it's expected to be one of the biggest in the industry this year.

On the other hand, you had been holding things down at the office - you are sure that you have never been this often at the office since you moved to Seoul -, these last few days you were busy onboarding new employees since you were in the process of starting the supervision of new financial markets in the company therefore more responsibilities and tasks were being added to the team under your supervision.

The only time you'd had to spend with Jungkook was in the night when you'd crawl into bed and after he got cleaned up from working until late hours locked in his office like a caveman. He convinced you to stay this week at his place, that way he'd be able to at least sleep next to you every night. You'd kiss him dreamily, wrap him up safe in your warm arms and fall asleep.

By all rights, you should have been exhausted. You should have been ordering takeout and settling in on the couch to read the entire internet on your phone, your brain totally zombified. Instead, now that work was done for the night, you found yourself very ready to play.

You heard JK come in and drop his shoes in the rack before heading to the fridge for a beer. "Hi, honeeeey, I'm home" he called in the direction of the bedroom, a teasing note in his voice.

You took a little time putting on the final touches, so that when you emerged from behind the door, he had already lost his glasses, rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie.

Today he had his final presentation, and you already knew that it went beyond great because he texted you earlier letting you know that his boss loved his design from start to end. You weren’t even surprised because he had showed you his designs asking for an “outside” opinion and even if you’re not familiarized that much into the videogame world, you were mesmerized by his talent and he made you feel so proud of him, you just knew his boss had to love it. And what a better way to end this long day than celebrating your 10th month anniversary?

When you finally got out of the bedroom, he was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, his sweating beer bottle on the table. He looked adorably rumpled and you wasted no more time crossing the room.

"Hey, my favorite designer" you said between kisses. "Happy 10th month anniversary"

His doe eyes looked at you from head to toes, gawking at the sight in front of him. "God, you look so hot, baby" he says while biting his lip and then grabs you from your waist and pulls you in for another deep kiss "Happy 10th month anniversary indeed"

He then hands you a beautiful Jasmine bouquet "I got you your favorites, gorgeous"

"Thank you, baby. I love them" you say giving him a little peck on his lips then stopping for a second "And I love you so much" while smiling at him fondly.

"I love you more, baby"

"There's no way, you know that already"

You both laugh and you immediately change the subject asking, "How was your day?"

"Please" he begged, kissing you again. "Talk to me about anything else, I think I had enough of my work this week"

You smiled and perched yourself on one of his thighs, your arm wrapping around his shoulders as your mouth met his for a deeper, longer kiss that left you breathless.

"Mmmmh" he said, nuzzling his face into your neck. "You, Ms. Y/L/N, are a stunning conversationalist"

"And you, Mr. Jeon, are an incurable smart ass" you answered, pressing your lips lovingly against his hair.

"You like that about me"

"Maybe" you admitted, a little breathily, distracted by what his mouth was doing on your skin. His hand found your knee, slipping just the tiniest bit under the hem of your skirt and you shivered.

His voice sounded slightly surprised and very, very interested as he asked, "Is this silk, baby?"

You wore tights sometimes but rarely pantyhose, so silk stockings were definitely something special. You made a little noise of confirmation and bit your lip as his hand inched up higher, slowly, slowly, until his fingertips brushed the bare skin of your thigh.

"Y/N" he said, his voice all raw desire, his fingers tracing slow circles, and you felt heat rush to your core.

All at once, he was in motion, standing you up and clutching you to him, kissing you intensely and intently as his hands untucked your shirt. You unbuttoned a few of his buttons and helped with some of your own and it seemed like nothing would be fast enough, but somehow both of your shirts were off and Jungkook's palms were running over the skin of your back and you were digging your fingers into his bare shoulders and all the while you were kissing, kissing, kissing.

Eventually, you had to breathe, gasping against his neck as he tugged down the zipper of your skirt and let it fall to the floor. He supported you as you stepped out of the pool of fabric and immediately got to his knees. He tilted his face up to you with a wolfish grin as he put his hands around your hips, tracing the outline of your silky lingerie.

You giggled a little as he trailed his fingers over and under the straps of your garter belt, following them down to the tops of your stockings.

"I just realized I'm wearing red," you said as his lips touched your lower belly, “and black,” you added as his fingers whispered over your knees, "like your su—" You lost your words in a moan as his hands came together to massage one of your calves. He smiled, his lip piercing rasping over you, as his fingers worked their way down to your ankle and skimmed back up lightly, both of you enjoying the whispery sensation.

"Sounds very tasteful" he said amusedly as he repeated his ministrations on your other calf.

You had learned very quickly that letting Jungkook feel his way led to nothing but good things for you. For you both. You were mentally adding to your list of erogenous zones as his warm hands caressed the backs of your knees. He was pressing open-mouthed kisses against your stomach and inching lower as his hands traveled upward over your thighs.

When his fingers bit into the curve of your ass, his tongue moving thick and slow against the slippery fabric between your legs, you swayed, unsteady with desire, clinging to him as best you could.

He was immediately back on his feet, holding you close. "You're a goddess," he whispered into your ear, and you flushed at the memory it surfaced as he kissed you. You moved your hands over his back, down to his delectable ass, the firm feel of him stoking the heat inside even higher, and you reached for his belt, unbuckling, unbuttoning, unzipping.

He finished the job of stripping off his pants and then he was sliding around behind you, and you were putting your hands out to brace against the table. His face was in your hair as he curved his body against your back, bringing his hands around your hips and up over your stomach until he was cupping your breasts.

He worked open the front clasp of your bra and you bit your lip as his fingertips traced over your nipples. You ground back against him and felt a rush of satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure. You tilted your head, letting your hair cascade to one side so he could have proper access to your neck, and he didn't disappoint, his tongue and lips and teeth giving you exactly what you wanted, his hands massaging your breasts and oh pinching your nipples with just the right amount of pressure.

Your hips were still swirling against him, locked in a rhythm you couldn't quite control, and then one of his hands was dipping into your panties and his fingers were sliding wetly, circling your delicious clit. And, God, it took so little time before you were cumming, hard and loud and so, so good. It would almost be embarrassing if you hadn't lost your self-consciousness about the reactions Jungkook could coax from your body long ago.

So, when he slid his fingers inside of you, you moved shamelessly against them, and when he circled your clit again, his pace ridiculously perfect, you let yourself fly over the edge once more, your mouth open in a silent cry, leaning hard against the table.

You tried to catch your breath and couldn't help a laugh. "This was supposed to be special for you" you said, straightening up and turning to face him once your legs were beginning to work again.

He breathed out an amused little huff, raising his eyebrows as he licked his lips. “And is it ever?”

You shook your head at him, smiling. You lifted his hand to your mouth and kissed his top knuckles, your tongue darting out to taste yourself on his skin, swirling around his fingertips while looking him straight in the eyes. He was breathing heavy. “What do you want, baby?” you asked hoarsely.

“Only to make you happy” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat. Fuck, you love him so much. As if he hadn’t already. In so many ways.

“Well, baby” you said, keeping his hand in yours as you walked to the bedroom, “the only thing that could make me happier is to make you happy."

You pulled his soft Calvin Klein's boxer briefs down and ran your hands over him until he was making delicious little groans. You made him lie back on the bed and you straddled him, after discarding both the bra that was still hanging uselessly from your shoulders and your underwear for good measure. — Honestly you were very grateful to your internet research for advising you to wear them over the garter — because damn you did not want to be fumbling with that right now.

You leaned down to kiss him, cocooning you both in the curtain of your hair, enjoying the way he smiled against your lips. JK was always give give give — it could be difficult to get him to ask for anything for himself. And with the experience that you gained with him over the last few months you could easily guess, but you wanted to encourage him to say it sometimes.

You worked your way along his jaw, scraped your teeth over his earlobe and sucked it into your mouth as he sighed. You kissed his neck and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Kook"

And apparently, you had made him just a little desperate, because this time his response was immediate.

"To be inside you" he murmured, running his hands down your thighs, "while you're wearing this" A fresh wave of heat rushed to your belly. Good God, he could easily make you cum just with his words, he makes you go crazy in a matter of seconds.

"Now we're getting somewhere" you smiled.

You rocked back to sit up, bracing your hands on his chest as you moved your hips over him, letting him feel the slick heat of you against him. He pushed up to increase the friction and you hummed with pleasure.

When you thought you'd made him wait long enough, you let him steady you as you guided him inside, slowly, inch by inch. Your breath caught at the feel of him — and you couldn’t deny there was something especially hot about being a little dressed up for him, too.

You were sitting still on top of him, just enjoying him deep inside, and it was driving him slightly wild, his breathing full of hitches, his tongue wetting the corner of his mouth, his hands sliding down from your hips to tug playfully at your garter straps.

Finally, even you couldn't take it anymore, and you began to move, spurred on by the throaty sounds he was making, until you were matching the rhythm of the chorus in your head. Kook Kook Kook. You loved watching his face, seeing the effect you had on him as his composure slipped, but your eyes slid closed as you began building toward a peak. He felt so damn good, and he was touching you just right and it was just — it was just too goddamn much, and the world went white-hot and starry with bliss.

And then he was flipping you over carefully so he could fuck you hard into the mattress and you thrilled, wrapping your legs around him, running your silky stockings over his skin, digging into his back with your fingernails until he was cumming, too, gorgeous, and gruff and sexy as hell.

“Fuck, that was amazing” he said falling by your side and peppering your shoulder and neck with his kisses.

“As always” you said smiling at him, you felt as if you were high.

“I love you so much, baby”

“I love you even more, Kook” you said before both of you, exhausted, entered into dream land.

Sunlight was creeping around the curtains.

You blinked your eyes to clear them and saw Jungkook sleeping on his side next to you, facing away. You thought the little nap you'd snuck yesterday in would have been enough to allow you to stay up all night — playing all night long with Jungkook was your favorite activity and of course by ‘playing’ you mean, fucking —, but the exhaustion must've finally caught up to you and by the looks of it, it also had hit him too.

You felt a little guilty when you realized you had been completely hogging the blankets. JK was covered only by the sheet, and it had slipped down low enough to reveal not only the sleek muscles of his back but the beginnings of the swell of his ass.

And, damn, he was breathtaking.

Before Jungkook, you had never really understood just how sublime the physical could be. You had been in good shape throughout your life, you knew there was some joy in training your body, working up a sweat, making the shot. You'd never considered yourself prudish. But JK took things to a whole different level.

And it wasn't just his body, though it was the most beautiful you'd ever seen, of any gender. The sight of him made you understand why sculptors chiseled monuments in marble — that ass needed to be preserved for future generations. Not that it would ever compare to the real thing.

It was the way he moved that got to you the most. Always had. The way his tattooed hands moved, the way his tongue slid over his lips. The glide of his muscles as he punched and kicked and jumped whenever he was boxing or training. The way they flexed and stretched under your hands as you made love.

And, damn, now you really wanted to touch him. But you knew he was drained from all the work he had put on his presentation and finally he was done with it, he desperately needed rest after the week he'd had.

With a sigh of reluctant determination, you rolled over to face the other direction, burrowing down into the covers and trying to calm yourself down.

All too soon, though, the bed was moving as JK shifted and rolled over. A tiny smile turned up the corners of your lips as his welcome warmth pressed against your back.

"Your impure thoughts are making it a little hard to sleep, baby" he whispered in your ear, his voice drowsy. His hand started a lazy journey, finding your body bare beneath your t-shirt — well, actually, his oversized t-shirt that you’ve declared as yours a few months ago —, his fingers splaying wide over your stomach.

"You're a mind reader now, too?" you asked. You were impressed at how smoothly your voice came out, given how your body was responding so ardently to his touch. You arched back and felt him hard against your backside — Fuck, he’s gonna be the dead of me —. You clearly weren't the only one entertaining impure thoughts.

"I have my ways" he said smugly, his hand continuing to roam, his fingers finally sliding down and into the wetness between your thighs. You inhaled sharply, your eyes closing and your toes curling.

It was the way he moved that always got to you the most.

Once he had you practically whimpering, he murmured, "What do you want, baby?"

"You" you panted. "Just...you."

He let out a groan that was almost a growl and adjusted both of your positions so that he could slip inside of you. You moved together in a way that was unhurried and rich with sensation, the sun warm and the sheets slippery around you.

Both your heart and your body were full of him, and when you came, it was a gentle hum, a long slow wave that made you smile. Jungkook gripped you tightly as he followed.

“Just so you know, you can have what you want at any time” he said into your hair as he caught his breath.

“Be careful, Jeon. I’ll hold you to that”

He laughed. “Sounds like we’re both going to get what we want, then baby”

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a while” you hear a familiar voice from behind you while you were busy starting your warmup exercises.

“Oh! Hi Ethan” you say once you spot him near you “Yeah, work has been kicking my ass lately, so I wasn’t able to make time to come to the gym”

“Sorry to hear that” he says offering you a smile “So, I take it now things are calmer at your job?”

“Yeah, thank God it is quite calmer, I think I’ll be able to be normal for a few months” you say chuckling “There’s always some periods where it gets crazy but I’m a little used to it by now” you explain yourself while Ethan hears you carefully.

He nods at you and say “I haven’t seen your boyfriend either these past weeks”

He never mentioned Jungkook before. That’s weird. Is he trying to subliminally ask if you are still with JK? Though Ethan never made a move on you – despite what Jungkook might say – you’re careful enough to not give him any type of hope, you maintain a short conversation from time to time and continue with your workout routine. That’s all. You don’t want to create any confusion here and you made clear that you have a boyfriend and so did Jungkook when he kissed you in front of Ethan.

“He’s been pretty busy with work too so he has been working out at his place lately, but he should be here in a few minutes probably”

“Oh, cool”

Are you sensing disappointment on his tone? Okay, this is starting to get a little uncomfortable, you should end the conversation now.

“Um, I think I’ll start with the treadmill today. It was nice talking to you, Ethan” you say and walk over to the treadmills area after waving politely at Ethan who responded a simple “Sure, see you Y/N” while smiling at you.

Just when you were about to start your exercise, Jungkook arrived with furrowed eyebrows after seeing the little interaction between Ethan and you.

That guy is always near you. Why does he have to be always around? - he thinks to himself -.

Once you spot JK coming your way, your face brightens, and you almost run towards him. You put your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

He hums in delight “Mmmh, someone missed me”

“I did” you look at him with puppy eyes and ask while pouting “Did you not miss me?”

“I would have to be damn crazy to not miss you, gorgeous”

You start giggling at his words. Butterflies setting free on your belly as usual.

“Though, I see I’m not the only one that missed you” he says with a certain tone that you don’t really like.

“What do you mean?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“Ethan”

“Jungkook we’ve been through this a hundred times. He just came up to me to say hi and we had a small talk, nothing important”

“Come on, noona. You really can’t be that naive”

“I’m not naive” you cross your arms and Jungkook already gulps knowing that he might have said the wrong thing, as usual his impulsiveness winning over him. “We just talked, and he didn’t say anything out of line, like every other time that we talked. Could you please trust me? I don’t want to have this talk over and over”

“I trust you, baby. I’m sorry. I love you, you know that, right?”

You nod and respond “I love you too” while he grabs you by the waist and gives you a little peck on the lips.

A few minutes later and not too far from where you were exercising, you didn’t even realize that Ethan couldn’t get his eyes off you. Well, is not like you could see him from the treadmill area, there was plenty gym equipment between you two, and you were totally absorbed having a talk with your boyfriend about how both of your days went.

“God, she wants you so bad” suddenly a feminine voice wakes up Ethan from his trance.

“Huh?” he says and as soon as he sees the source of the voice he continues “Oh. It’s you. I thought you were frequenting another gym”

“I do, depending on the location that my dad is currently working. You know the drill” says Lina before continuing “Anyways, as I was telling you before, Y/N wants you, Ethan”

“How the hell would you know?”

“I know her. I’m a friend of hers”

“You are? I never saw you talking to her”

“I haven’t seen Y/N in a while, but I know her enough. I can give you some advice to get her to be all yours” says Lina smiling and putting the best of her actings “Though I don’t think you have to work a lot for that, she just likes to play hard to get, if you know what I mean?”

“She does? She didn’t strike me as that kind of girl. Plus, she has a boyfriend” he says pointing towards Jungkook that’s right beside you.

“Please, since when you’re the jealous type?”

“You’re right about that, if she doesn’t care I really don’t give a fuck about him” confesses Ethan “And she’s so fine, I can’t wait to fuck her”.

“Trust me, I know exactly what you have to do to accomplish that” says Lina with a mischievous smile.

Meanwhile, Jungkook and you were in your little world, without imagining that only a few meters away, Lina was planning how to wreck you both apart.

Is your love for each other strong enough to survive the tsunami that Lina was about to unleash upon yourselves?

Emma had chosen Aria, her sister, a college friend, and you to be her bridesmaids. Her sister being the maid of honor.

Joey had chosen Namjoon, his brother, Jungkook and Hobi to be his groomsmen. Namjoon being his best man. You were happy that Jungkook was one of the groomsmen, he’ll be your partner in crime at the wedding too.

You find yourself salivating every time you imagine him on whatever the suit is for the occasion. Emma told you she was in love of the suits she chose for the groomsmen and that they all were going to look like proper models. Though, Jungkook looks like a model even when he’s just wearing simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

You kept thinking to yourself that even if you haven’t known each other for ages, Emma and Aria had become one of your closest friends in these past months, you would see each other at least once a week to catch up on what’s going on with your lives and you would also be super active on your group chat sharing memes and stupid news that you saw on the internet that made you all laugh.

Today was an important day for all of you, especially for Emma. You had a fitting of Emma’s wedding dress. It almost has her in tears.

“It’s so beautiful” she says, standing at the pedestal and staring at her reflection in the mirror. Tears prick the backs of her eyes as she takes in the entire dress. It sits perfectly on her body, comfortable and not restrictive in the slightest, which she is thankful for.

It’s a blush pink color, the upper bodice sits flush against her body, sewn with hand embroidered flowers all over it. The flowers flow down to the skirt of the dress, which flares out from her upper hips. There’s intricate embroidery along the bottom of the dress as well that just brings the entire thing together.

Emma is absolutely in love with it.

“Wow, what a beautiful bride!” you exclaim as you exit your own changing room.

Emma catches your gaze in the mirrors that she stands in front of. “Oh my God, Y/N! You look fantastic!”

You grin and gesture to the aubergine-colored dress you’re wearing. “This old thing?” you tease her for a moment. “I’m glad it’s something that looks this good and is comfy too. I’d never forgive you if you put me in something as ridiculous as a Princess Leia inspired dress”

Emma rolls her eyes affectionately and chuckles. “I’d never do that to you, I can’t believe that your last time being a bridesmaid was in a Star Wars themed wedding, God I would have paid to see the photos of that wedding” you both laugh like idiots and Emma continues “Besides, all of the bridesmaids are matching”

“All jokes aside, I really love the choice you did with the bridesmaid dresses, and your dress is just stunning, Emma”

“Stop it! Lately I’ve been so emotional over the wedding, I’ll start crying if you keep talking”

“I’m just stating the truth, sweetie”

Emma smiles at you and then she says “I don’t know why but I have this feeling that you’ll be the next one standing over this pedestal trying on wedding dresses”

You choke on your own saliva while Emma snickers at your nervous behavior “Where’s the champagne? I need a drink” you say, looking around, acting like she didn’t say nothing — not that you didn’t think on going down that road with Jungkook, but it’s still a pretty early stage of your relationship — “And where’s Aria? I thought she’d be in her dress by now.”

“It was still too big on her” Emma replies, turning her gaze back to her reflection. She can’t stop touching the dress. It’s just wonderful. “So, she’s getting it altered with the tailor in the other room.”

“More champagne, ladies?” Arin, the shop assistant asks. She’s carrying a tray with three champagne glasses on it.

“Leave the bottle, please” you say with a grin. Arin nods and sets the tray down. She returns a moment later with the bottle and sets it down on the tray, too. You chug one glass and refill it before bringing a fresh one over to Emma.

“Well. What do you think?” she asks, accepting the glass from you. “Am I ready to get married?”

“I’d say so, yeah” you reply. “You look fit as fuck, sweetie I’ve to say it. Like a princess, too.”

Emma beams. “That was the goal”

“I have to pee, the champagne is doing its effect pretty quickly, back in a few” you say chuckling. You disappear, leaving Emma standing on the little platform in front of the mirror.

She bites her lip, turning her body from side to side as she takes in the dress yet again. She feels like her entire relationship with Joey has been leading up to this very moment. And she can’t wait.

Soon, she will legally be Joey’s wife. That prospect excites her so much. She’s absolutely giddy at the thought.

They’re getting married soon and there are still a lot of things left to do before the wedding can take place which all of the bridesmaids are helping as much as possible, including you.

One of those things left to do is getting Aria’s bridesmaid dress altered properly so that she can wear it.

Emma turns as she catches sight of Aria in the reflection of the mirror. She grins when Aria stops short and just gapes at her.

“Emma” she breathes. “Holy fuck!”

Emma beams once again. “I know, right?”

“Joey is going to die when he sees you” Aria says. “God, you look like a fairy tale princess.”

Emma can’t stop smiling. “I never want to take this dress off”

“I’m not surprised. You look amazing.”

“Thank you” Emma says. “You look fantastic, too. I’m so glad that your dress finally fits you!”

Aria gives her a small smile. “It’s not my fault I don’t have hips, or tits, and no bum. It hung on me like a potato sack for ages, but it finally fits”

Emma steps down off the platform and closes the distance between them. “You look beautiful. I’m so glad we chose two shades of purple to have the bridesmaids in. Because this lilac-color really brings out your eyes”

Aria ducks her head, blushing.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim as you appear.

“Tell me how pretty I am” says Aria

“Ari, you know that you look spectacular” you say.

Emma is so happy with all the dresses; they definitely are the ones. “Good.” She then lets out a huge sigh. “I guess I had better take this off then. Next week my sister and Andy will be in Seoul, so they’ll be able to try out the dresses too”.

Andy is Emma’s college friend, both Emma’s sister and Andy live in London — where Emma and Joey are originally from — so, there’s a few maid of honor tasks that both Aria and you have been fulfilling in order for the wedding to come up perfectly because it was almost impossible for her sister to come earlier to Seoul and handle everything by herself.

“Such a hardship” Aria teases.

“For that you get no champagne” Emma says, poking her tongue out at her friend. She grabs her glass and has a long sip, keeping her gaze on you and Aria the entire time. “Wow, you really needed that drink, don’t you?” Aria teases once again.

“Getting married is stressful as fuck, I always feel like a need a drink” and you all laugh in unison.

Once you’re all out of the dresses and are in your everyday clothes again, Emma feels decidedly less like a princess, and more like someone who is on the verge of being very tipsy if she isn’t careful.

She isn’t careful. She has another glass of champagne just because she can.

“I love you both so much” Emma says when you stop on the floor of your apartment. Emma leans heavily on the wall next to your front door and pats at your arm. “Thank you for letting me keep my dress here. I don’t want Joey to see it before the big day”

“Of course, sweetie” you say as you unlock the door. “That’s what friends are for.”

“You guys are the besht. Besht. Besht. Beshtest?” she furrows her brow, confused.

“You’re so drunk” you say, sounding amused. “This is great”

“I am not” Emma protests. She sways a little on the spot as she pushes off the wall. “But I do need to sit down”

You lead Emma into your flat with the help of Aria, holding her hand the entire time until Emma is sitting down on your sofa. She pats at the soft cushions and smiles.

“How much did you have to drink?” Aria asks snickering at her friend. She presses a glass of water into Emma’s hand and orders her to drink.

Emma holds up three fingers. Then the other two. And giggles. She sips at her water, trying her very hardest not to dribble, or to spill any on herself. Or the sofa. Which is so soft. How has she not noticed how soft this sofa is before?

“Yes, we get it, you like my sofa” you say. Emma looks up at you, confused. “You said that out loud” you explain to your drunk friend.

“Oops” Emma giggles. She puts her glass down on the coffee table with as much care as she can.

“Get some rest, Emma” you say, patting Emma’s hand. Emma pats your hand, too. That seems like fun. — Your hands are surprisingly soft, thinks Emma to herself— “Your hands feel like porcelain, Y/N” she says out of nowhere.

“That’s your own hand you’re patting, Emma” you say, showing Emma your own hands. “That champagne must’ve had more alcohol in it than I thought.”

Emma nods and tips over on the sofa, giggling as its softness touches her cheek. In a few minutes she’s snoring, and you and Aria can’t help but to laugh.

You prepare coffee for yourselves and sit over your balcony so Emma can sleep quietly, and you both could have a nice chit chat meanwhile.

“So, how was the celebration of the 10th month anniversary?” asks Aria once you hand her the mug.

“Oh, perfect, spectacular, marvelous. And so, so hot” you beam at the memory of that amazing night last week with your boyfriend.

“I mean, when you sent us the picture of the lingerie you bought for the occasion it was pretty damn hard not to think it was going to be a steamy night” she said chuckling.

“It was amazing, though we were so tired that we didn’t last that long” you giggle “But we did have fun for a few hours”

“A few hours? What is supposed to mean ‘last long’ for you two? God you two must be beasts on the bed”

“Actually, he’s the beast but he’s so fucking hot that it makes impossible not to want to fuck him all night long”

“Oh my God, Y/N. You’re salivating, stop it!”

“Sorry, it seems like I do that a lot. Chris always scolds me for drooling over Jungkook”

Aria giggles. “Talking about Chris, how is he doing with…? Irene was it her name?”

You nod at her and say “He’s happy, I’ve met her a few times at Chris’s place and she’s really sweet honestly. I think you’ll love her when you meet her”

“I’m so happy for him. But I really want to meet her, I’m curious finally someone snatched Chris’s heart, that’s not an easy task”

You smile thinking about your best friend and remembering the day when he told you that he had asked Irene to be his girlfriend and that she had said yes. He was so excited, he looked like a little kid.

“Not an easy task at all. But I can see a mile away that she loves him a lot and seeing him this happy it’s comforting, he deserves someone like her. I’m sure you’ll meet her at the wedding. Knowing Chris, he’s just taking things slow with her, that’s why you all haven’t met her yet”

“You know, you’re such a good friend. I always meant to tell you this, the way you care about Chris and all of us — not only JK —, you irradiate so much love to the ones around you, Y/N”

“Jeez, are you trying to get me emotional?” you say feeling your heart getting too warm to the point that your eyes might start watering. “I think Emma’s sensibility is getting contagious”

Aria smiles at you and says “It’s the truth, sweetie”

“Thank you but you give me too much credit. You have been all so amazing with me since the very beginning, me caring about all of you this much is just me trying to return some of the love you all have been showering me with”

She smiles at you fondly and you engulf in a tight hug until you hear a “Hey – I want a hug too” coming from your sofa and you both laugh at Emma’s drunk ass.

You were almost done getting ready to go over to JK’s apartment when your doorbell rang, you had texted him a few minutes ago letting him know that you’re on your way.

Once you open the door, your eyebrows furrow at the sight in front of you. Ethan.

He doesn’t even give you time to ask him how the hell is he at your doorstep when you never gave him your address. His strong arms pulled you towards his body and his hands quickly cupped your face crashing his lips on yours.

Your eyes widened. You didn’t understand what is happening right now. Has he lost his mind? You react pretty fast despite your initial shock and pull him away from you. His arms go to your waist, holding you close to him, and you try to take his hands off you but fail miserably.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you almost scream while cleaning any trace of his saliva out of your lips with the back of your hand.

“I was told you liked to play hard to get. Don’t worry I can’t handle you, doll”

“Doll? Are you crazy, Ethan? I’m not playing a- “

You get shut up by his lips on yours once again. He’s touching your body and you feel disgusted. He’s clearly stronger than you and you’re scared what he might do because this is not the innocent and shy guy you used to talk at the gym, it’s like he’s an entirely different person.

You somehow manage to push him away and you look around trying to grab something to hit him and take him out of your apartment, there’s nothing you could possible grab quickly so as soon as you see him taking steps closer to you again, you gather all your strength and punch his face with a left jab – just like Jungkook had taught you when you told him you were curious about boxing – though you might have done it wrong because as soon as your fist landed on his face, you felt a crack on your hand and an intense stinging pain.

“What the fuck?” groaned Ethan while putting his hands on his face – as if he was the one shocked -, his nose was bleeding profusely

“You better get the fucking out of my apartment Ethan, or I swear to God I’ll scream bloody murder for someone to call the police”

Ethan gives you a last look – he looks genuinely shocked, is he for real? He’s the one surprised? He’s definitely crazy - before stepping out from your apartment mumbling what you think was a “Fuck – this hurts”

As soon as he was out of your apartment you quickly closed the door, making sure to put every lock on it. You sit against the door unable to understand what the fuck has just happened, your heart is beating so fast that you feel it’s gonna rip out of your rib cage in any moment, your hand is throbbing so bad that it’s almost unbearable, and the pain is increasing by the second.

You need to get to the doctor ASAP, but first you need to know how the hell did Ethan know where you lived, and you could only think of one person to help you with this.

You grabbed your bag and peep to see if there’s any signs of Ethan outside. No one is there. Great. Time to go out.

“Hey Y/N! I wasn’t expecti- “

Jackson cuts his own words when he sees your distress face and that you’re holding your left hand with help of the right one, it’s clear that you’ve somehow injured. At this point, your left hand starts to feel numb, the pain not going away at all. “What happened?”

“Are you okay?” asks Amy by his side and worried as well

“Ethan happened” you respond to Jackson and then you look towards Amy “Honestly I’m not okay, my hand is aching like a bitch”

“What? He did this to you?” says Jackson surprised – you can’t blame him; you were as surprised as him with Ethan’s behavior – and you just shake your head “I kinda did this to myself when I punched him in the face”

Jackson’s face has a question mark drawn all over it by now and you continue talking while sighing “That’s why I’m here. Jackson, is there any way that he could possibly had access to my information? I never gave him my address to begin with but somehow, he ended up at my doorstep”

“He shouldn’t have, it’s illegal to pull confidential information about the clients, but I guess that’s possible if he somehow got to Amy’s computer” says Jackson turning his head towards an outraged Amy and now speaking to her “Check when the last time is that someone accessed Y/N’s information and we’ll check the cameras to see who it was”

“On it” says Amy turning her body quickly towards the computer.

Jackson takes a few steps closer to you and softly grabs your left hand. You hiss and he mumbles a soft “Sorry”. After checking it, he says “I’m no doctor but it’s possible that you broke your hand, it’s already swealing up too much, you need to go to the hospital right now. You want me to go with you or maybe I can call JK?”

“Don’t worry about it, the hospital is near JK’s house, I’ll go over to his place and then to the doctor”

“Okay. Listen, I’ll talk to my boss about this, even if we found out that Ethan wasn’t the one to pull your information, I’ll make sure that his access to the gym gets revoked, so you don’t have to deal with him here anymore”

“Thank you so much Jackson, I’ll get going”

You exchanged greetings with Amy who was still checking the information from the computer. You had called an Uber a few minutes ago and Jackson offered to walk you out to the car – just to be safe he said -, even though you don’t think that Ethan is going to show up but then again, you never thought that he could be capable of showing up at your place and trying to force you into kissing him.

“I’ll let you know once we found out if someone pulled the information from our data base”

You nod at him and give him a quick hug before he shuts the car’s door of your Uber. You need to see your boyfriend right now.

Anger is all he can feel. He’s seeing red. He feels like a fool, like an idiot. Once again, seems like history is re-repeating. Always the same ending.

His doorbell rings announcing you’re here. He exhales trying to compose himself and he goes towards the entrance to open the door.

You sigh at the sight of your boyfriend. Finally.

“Hi baby. Sorry I took long to get here”

He scoffs while turning away and walking towards his living room without giving you a kiss “Yeah, I’m pretty sure what had you busy”

You follow his steps sensing his weird behavior “Is there something wrong?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows

“I don’t know, Y/N” says Jungkook with an unrecognizable tone. He proceeds to grab his phone and shove the screen right up your face surprising you “You tell me”

Pictures of Ethan kissing you. You only got a glimpse of the screen and saw that an unknown number had sent him the pictures along with a message saying, “You should know that your little girlfriend has been having fun for a while with Ethan”.

You froze in place. Your mind was spiraling. Was it all orchestrated by Ethan and someone else?

“I can explain it”

“Explain what? That you’re just the same as Lina and my ex? That you’re a slut? That you’ve been cheating on me? The guy is at your place, at your fucking apartment, Y/N! Since when has these been going on, huh? How many more beds have you been jumping on?” he screams at you.

You feel a pang in your chest. As if he’s taking your heart with his hand and slowly squeezing it. He’s spitting venom. You don’t even recognize him anymore. You don’t even think when your right-hand slaps him right on the face to stop him talking shit about you.

Tears are falling nonstop from your eyes when Jungkook turns to look at you with his eyes wide open. Did you really slap him?

He knows he went too far, while he was spitting all his venom on you, he saw how your face twisted in pain, but he’s fucking angry, and he can’t stop repeating in his mind that fucking image of Ethan and you kissing each other.

“Is that what you think about me after 10 fucking months together? After I confided to you how much it fucked me up that my dad cheated on my mum?”

He stays silent for a bit, probably unsure what to say.

“You see this?” You lift your left hand with all the pain stinging right through you, your hand is swelled up to its maximum now and Jungkook’s eyes almost pop out of his head seeing you injured, he instinctively steps closer to grab it and you take a step back “This is what happened after Ethan barged in my place and kissed me out of nowhere. I punched his face so hard that I probably broke something in my hand. But I guess no one sent you that picture, huh?”

Jungkook is frozen. He immediately forgets all of the anger he felt two seconds ago and just looks at you with big, scared eyes while your words slowly sink in and realizes he made a terrible mistake. He’s about to speak but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“It took longer to me to get here because I went to the gym to talk to Jackson because it’s the only place where Ethan could have pulled my address information, I never gave it to him”

He fucked up. Big time. He was so absorbed in the discussion but as soon as you explained what happened it feels like all energy is sucked out of him.

“But hey - good thing now I know what you really think about me”

“Baby, I-I’m- “. His voice sounding a little shaky. He starts to tear up all of the sudden.

“Don’t, Jungkook” you cut him off once again “You do realize that when I saw Lina kissing you at that night club you weren’t even my boyfriend, but I had let you explain what did really happen that night and I fucking believed you. We have been together for almost a year, and you didn’t even let me talk, you just figured out that what makes sense it’s that I’m…” you gulp, and more tears fall on your cheeks before continuing “…a slut”

Jungkook looks at you defeated with watery eyes before more tears start to slip from his eyes and he hastily wipes them away.

“I’m so s-sorry baby I wasn’t thinking clearly, it was an impulse. I-I was so angry an-“

“Save it. I’m done” you say with the coldest tone ever. He steps closer to you wanting to hug you and you shake your head and lift your right hand stopping him before the most painful words that you’ve ever said come out of your lips “I’m breaking up with you”

“What? No, d-don’t say that, you don’t mean it”

“I mean every part of it. I’m done with you, Jungkook. And I’m done with us”

“N-no, please baby, let’s talk this through”

“Talk? You already made it pretty clear what you think about me. You don’t trust me; you never did, and I fucking knew it all this time. If you did trust me, you would have listened my explanation and not just assume that I was cheating on you”

You begin to turn your heels to leave the apartment when Jungkook suddenly stops you and hugs your body.

“Let go of me, Jungkook”

“N-no”

“Let-me-go” you beg – even if you feel how your heart is breaking slowly – “You’re making it so hard for me to leave—” you cry in his arms and he feels like shit, he feels like an asshole for making you suffer, he can’t stand seeing you like this.

“Then don’t leave. Stay” he softly says cupping your face, but you can’t even look him in the eyes. Not after hearing all the shit that he said about you, you can’t see him the same way you did before.

With your only good hand you grab his and remove it from your face. You take some steps away from him and say “It’s not going to work out. I know because I’ve gone through this before. I’m doing us a favor”

He bursts crying even more. His body spasming. He is hurting. You both are.

You love him so deeply that you’re feeling like all the air is being sucked from your lungs, but you also know where your boundaries are settled. You have been through this in previous experiences, and you don’t want to repeat your mistakes. Did he ever love you? How could you say such things to someone you love? – your mind is definitely ruining you.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase, a simple fight can turn into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

Your heart is scattered all over the place. You don’t even know how you’ll be able to pick up the pieces or if it’s going to be possible at all to even reassemble it.

“Don’t do this, please. I love you Y/N” he pleads hoping that you believe his words, that you see how hopelessly in love he is because he really means every word he said. But your next words feel like a stab right through his heart.

“I don’t think you know what loving someone means”

With that being said, you turned your heels and walked out of Jungkook’s apartment.

The moment you step out of it, he broke crying on his knees. He knew it the moment he saw your eyes full of tears, he knew it when you said you were breaking up with him.

He knew he had lost you.

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darkfictionjude · 2 months ago

Note

About your angst vs lighthearted games question.

So, I don't think this question truly applies to me. Well, not in the sense that I could give you a clear preference.

First things first, I will avoid both extremes. I despise purely comedic stories and what not, so if it's something like that (imagine a sitcom like scenario), I will just skip it. But I also find totally unappealing a game that is 100% bleak and where it seems clear there's 0 chance for a good ending. My reasoning is that a game without stakes is bland and a game without "reward" (aka good ending) isn't worth my time. I think a good game has both angsty and sweet and/or funny moments, but ultimately the player CAN obtain what can be considered a good ending out of it. Otherwise, why put the effort, you know? So any game I play, it means I'm under the assumption good endings are possible, even if the path there is very angsty or even hard to achieve.

Now, I do love drama, but I basically like a story that has balance. If it's only angst, I will get bored. If it's too positive, I will get bored too. I'm a sucker for hurt-comfort, so it tracks.

To give more context to my opinions, it basically all relates to interactive vs non-interactive media. In non-interactive media like movies or books, you just have to watch or read the piece of fiction you're "witnessing it", and that's it. You don't have to "actively" DO anything. Since you're not putting in any "actual effort", you don't need a "proper reward". It sounds weird said like that, but basically, because of that, I accept that sometimes a piece of non-interactive media has a bad ending or that it's fully lighthearted without stakes because, you know, I'm just there watching or reading it and I don't have to "fight for it". But with interactive media, the player puts in real effort. It doesn't matter if it's a classic RPG where you have to literally fight, explore the world and what not, or a text based game like IF and VNs where you have to make the right choices and think about your decisions. At the end of the day, you are fighting for a reward and facing the consequences of YOUR actions. And so, if I decide to do that, I need a reward at the end of the journey. Some people will say that there's catharsis in a bad ending sometimes, but I personally don't experience that. I didn't hate all bad/sad endings to pieces of fiction I witnessed, but every single bad/sad ending just left me frustrated and was the opposite of cathartic, even if it wasn't always hated per se. It was always a "not bad as a whole, but the ending was mediocre". Only exceptions are "objectively bad" endings that to me feel "subjectively good" for a reason or another, but this is too much of a case by case thing.

So yeah, all in all, I most like balance of angst and lightheartedness.

Honestly, my main criteria to decide I will play an IF are: 1 - that the game contains romance (this is not a must in other types of games, but I play IF for that specifically). 2 - that the game allows me to have a male MC. 3 - that the game doesn't have random aspects, and if it has random elements, then it has to allow saves or have checkpoints (I'm a "one canon playthrough kind of player, so I need to be able to easily recreate the same results on each playthrough, meaning if random elements are into play, I need to be able to save scum easily).

As long as these two conditions are fulfilled, I can be interested in the game. Well, obviously, some kinds of plots won't appeal to me, but most of the time it can work at least in theory.

Sorry for rambling! It's an interesting question that ties in with a lot of thoughts I have about fiction as a whole!

I’m kind of like you tbh

I don’t mind bad endings in IF but I don’t want that to be the only type of ending but I do LOVE bad endings or sad endings in other media forms

For WWC the endings I have in mind go from bittersweet to really bad. I can’t add a completely happy Disney ending cause it doesn’t fit the tone. But like the bittersweet will be 70% happy

I also only play games which allow romance and not just any romance I need it well written I’ve played IFs where the plot and writing is superb but then the romance feels flat, like it was added last minute and to fit a quota. And I see this when they do the tell and not show of romance cause like give me DETAILS.

Which is also something I don’t do in stuff like books (I gravitate towards those that have little to no romance) and in movies I like the ones where the couple don’t end up together

I also don’t play gender locked games 😭😭 and it’s for 2 reasons 1) so much of the media I’ve consumed has been about men and at this point in my life I just make an effort to go to things that have women in important roles or allow me to play as a woman 2) I like gender to be commented on in game and I just find that looking through the eyes of a woman is much more interesting (again this is my opinion)

I’m also a one playthrough person and the only things I change are romances. I do dislike that save mechanism on like Hosted Games and CoG are at the writers discretion cause I hate having to start over cause I fucked something

#IF question #IF stuff

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lovejosephquinn · 2 years ago

Text

Authors Note: Part 2. I didn't think this other version of Joe I'm fantasising about would get much attention but turns out we like the cocky boy. Thanks for reading, please reblog if you enjoy it or leave a comment if you wish to kept up to date with future parts! 🥰

Summary: You’d set your sights on him and he on you. It all started with a visit to a newly talked about bar which kept you coming more regularly, in the end not just for a drink but yet the inevitability of a creeping flame set alight by a stare which kept dragging you back. After all, lust shouts and love whispers and in the end, only the heart knows the difference.

Under 18's DNI. Warnings: Smutty and angsty af Word Count: 3.6k

Taglist: @eddiemunson-mylove @joeschains @daleyeahson @itsfreakingbats @etherealglimmer @xlilithb @live-love-be-unique @lma1986 @shawnamae87 @fluffysmutmnstr @ches-86 @aysheashea @definitionwanderlust @palomahasenteredthechat @figmentofquinn @harringtonfan4 @chrissy-mj-stan @lovelyblueness @tlclick73

Part 1 ✨ Part 2 ✨ Part 3 ✨ Part 4

You were up all night, there was no doubt about it. Your mind pondering constantly on what tomorrow was going to bring, what tomorrow meant and what would happen between the two of you. There had been some quite flirtatious remarks back and fourth between you and the fact you were correct in assuming that he'd remembered you after a brief encounter, assuming that he meets plenty of women a day in his own bar? Now that made you feel special. That made you feel something that you didn't know if it would be worth screaming from the rooftops about or keeping quiet and retaining your dignity; after all, it was only early days.

You stayed in your attire, refusing to take it off because it was what he'd made you feel good in, that he'd given you the time of day even though he was busy with work, that he'd pulled you away from the perverted creeps that lurked in the shadows, laying on top of your bed you found yourself dreaming consciously about him, Joe. His name was that of a sweet melody that drained through your body, seeping through your veins and now he'd admitted that he was kind of into you, wanting to see you again, you were dying to see him again instantly. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough, tomorrow was already today and you were nail bitingly nervous from the inside out. The fact he'd given you no food for thought and had to keep you guessing added to his mysterious vibe.

You'd admittedly found your hand creeping through your underwear that was revealed to the lonely bedroom from your skirt being tucked up above your hips, imagining those deep, perplexing brown eyes staring back at you searching your soul, you closed your own eyes in attempt to see him properly, his lips were parted as he leaned over you, leaning down on one elbow directly next to your head, his hands mirrored your own movement, rubbing against your cunt, fingers finding the exact spot to hit, circling your aching bud whilst his retinas bore into you. Your squirms around the bed became frantic as your thighs pressed together, he comes to lean his lips to your ear, a short subtle and deep whisper erupting from his vocal chords: "Open your legs for me, pretty girl."

You were grasped quickly away from your stunning and erotic fantasy, moaning out loud, your eyes flying open to the realisation that you were alone, his voice sounded so apparent and altogether there in your thoughts that it almost felt real.

The words he'd spoken to you, the home truths and the cursed promises were reeling over and over in your head:

Just to put it out there, you're really fucking attractive darling. I know you came here to see me again. I know the feelings mutual. You give me your number and once I get off work tomorrow, you come here and I'll show you what you came for tonight.

There had to be more to what he was suggesting. There was one thing playing on your mind out of everything, you hadn't got his number back, he'd not text you, he'd not called and he'd not given any inclination of what time tomorrow you should be heading to the bar. Is this what happens? He was to keep you on your toes and not message, the audacity of that flummoxed you. Maybe he'd been too busy and forgotten about you, you were becoming to rapidly eager when you shouldn't even care about that? He was still too much of a stranger. You stared at your phone, the clock just barely turning 7am, you decided to get up, take a shower and get ready ahead of your long wait for the inexplicable and hopefully inevitable message to come through.

You'd been sat inexplicably twiddling at your thumbs for the last couple of hours, picking up your phone and then launching it across your sofa in disappointment to no notification and when you did you'd scramble to grab at it like an excited teenager, to avoid further distress, you went over to your bedroom and put it onto your bedside table, that way you'd not think about it as much. Except you did. Every deep sigh you took made you contemplate whether this was a joke, whether he really did just speak to all the girls this way, a little way to flirt for a while to pass time then get you out and rather just leave you hanging.

The soft features about him didn't explain this bewildering theory of yours, there was more to Joe than that meets the eye and you were certain of that. This is why you didn't trust your instincts one bit, the last time you almost did that you were completely wrong. The man remembered you, you of all people and that was enough to put up, shut up and wait it out.

A nap on your sofa sorted you right out, though only meaning to shut your eyes for half an hour was the initial indication, four long hours had passed and you scrambled from your own filth, skidding through the laminate flooring of your flat to your bedroom to look what time it was. Midday. Your eyes grew when they looked an inch down to find a notification from an unknown number, you entered your passcode in your phone wrong at least three times before managing to get to read the prolonged message.

Joe: Hi pretty girl. Sorry for not texting, hectic life and all that. See you very soon? It's Joe by the way.

As if he had to clarify who he was? Not like you'd been waiting for this stupid message for the last thirteen or so hours. Idiot. Though there it was, your newly given nickname now staring back at you in the face, did you play it off cool or did you sound eager and desperate?

You: No worries. Was beginning to think I'd given you the wrong number, oops. Do I get to know your cunning plans yet?

You had to sit down. Your head was rushing madly and your heart was almost being vomited out of your mouth in anticipation.

Joe: It wouldn't of mattered because you'd of turned up anyway, tell me I'm right sweetheart ;)

You: Confident much?

Joe: I see the way you look at me...

You: Could say the same about you...

Joe: Touché love. Be at the bar for 4pm?

You: I'll be there sweetheart.

Joe: I can already tell you're rolling those eyes, it's driving me mad.

You: I'll make sure to do it around 4:01pm right in your direction.

Joe: Watch what happens when you do.

You threw your phone to the other side of the bed this time, screaming but no sound came out, just a mild screech, falling back and kicking your legs up in the air like you'd just heard the best news in the world. You didn't care about all the stupid thoughts that'd crossed your mind earlier, they'd all disappeared, the will to be trifled with made it all worth it.

You counted down the hours, not like you'd already felt like you'd spent half of your life waiting for this man, you'd slowly got ready ahead of schedule, no idea what you were to be doing so you opted in for a casual kind of outfit, just jeans and an off the shoulder jumper. You were overthinking the time you'd spend together, should you be bringing anything, should you come prepared for a more formal occasion, is this a date? Did he officially ask you out? No he didn't, but he wanted to see you again so I guess that suffices in what some people may class as one.

You'd got to the bar by 3:50pm, too eager to say the least. Waiting outside on the public bench until 3:59pm exactly, you wandered through the familiar doors. A little emptier than you'd seen it last night, you wandered over to the stool you'd sat on both times you'd came in.

"Hey." A man looked over who was wiping down the tables, you swerved straight to look, almost jumping out of your skin since you didn't notice him when you came in originally. "We're closed, we'll re-open at 7pm."

"I know I-"

"She's here for me." Joe walked through the Staff only door, looking as beautiful as ever. His white shirt complimenting his figure, a couple of buttons to which you could see a little chest hair sprouting out and the adorned silver chains made him all the more sexier.

"I'll see you later mate, get yourself off." Joe shook hands with the man, eyes firing straight back to you. He waited until his employee had grabbed his jacket and closed the door shut, Joe headed over locking it behind him and taking a deep sigh, one you couldn't work out whether it be stress or nerves.

"Hi." You gulped down a ball of saliva, hiding your own anxiety. He didn't even respond, just kept gawking at you silently, the warm chocolatey stare was truly astonishing.

"Cat got your tongue?" You can't believe you even used that dumb expression.

"Look how pretty you are for me." You squeezed your legs tight when Joe bit down on his lip, a welcoming sight indeed. The footsteps got louder the closer he came over, walking in such a slow pace you just wanted to grab a hold of him and yank him so he'd hurry up, purely for the better view. That same smirk you'd missed appeared on his features instantly, his eyes falling from your face down to your feet and back up again.

"So what're we doing?"

"You tell me. You came to see me last night didn't you? Had that look in your eye. I could tell you wanted something, desired something." Joe leaned against the bar next to you, his arms folded against it, turning his head to blink at you, you rolled your eyes back at him in an attempt to wind him up, as promised.

You stumbled on your words, he'd truly made you speechless.

"I-I-"

"You- You- Why would you come back here randomly? All by yourself, obviously in search of what you need, or should I say, who you need."

He was the cockiest motherfucker you'd ever met but a god damn dreamy one at that and you loathed every second of it.

"Don't flatter yourself." Joe's eyebrows and hands raised up in a quick defeat like a rabbit in headlights yet his mind clearly worked quickly on a response back to you, he seemed to be good with words and that was seriously demeaning yet so hot.

You rolled your eyes again.

"Remember my last text?" Joe's lips were set in a straight line.

You shook your head. You remembered well, but you obviously wished to be reminded of it. Joe turned his full body to you, reaching out for your hands and pulling you off the stool, bringing you to straddle between his spread thighs on the stool he now sat on next to you. Your cheeks flushed in a matter of seconds, was this really happening right now? Joe sat up straight, leaning forward to your ear.

"Watch what happens when you do." He leaned back to look at the state of your exhilarated features, smirking lightly once more. You rolled your eyes again, hoping his next move would prove to you that he was willing to show you exactly what was to happen.

Joe stood from his stool, making himself look taller than he was, making you feel tiny. Instantly, he grabbed at your hips, lifting you onto the counter of the bar.

"I warned you." Your lips crashed together in the most disgustingly passionate kiss you'd ever encountered, you were panting instantly from the lack of oxygen that was given from the space that had now closed between you, the butterflies in your stomach raging from not so much nerves but the fever and delirium of making out with what was almost a complete stranger. Your arms wrapped around his neck pretty much the same time as his tongue plunged itself into your mouth, humming as his senses got a taste of you.

He pulled away from you and yet a new found confidence in you managed to force him back to touch your lips with his once more, you felt that same smirk you loved to hate rise against your mouth, his hands wandering down your hair, to your neck and down your back, both soothing and exploring you wholly. You pulled back this time in search of the air your lungs were craving.

"Is that all you got sweetheart?" You pried a little deeper, making his blood boil when you rolled your eyes again.

"Do I have your permission?" Joe held back onto your waist tightly.

"Permission for what?" You kind of knew what he was insinuating when you looked down to see the shadow of a large bulge trapped inside his trousers.

"To fuck you senseless." You removed Joe's hands from you and he stood back when you leaped off of the bar. Pushing him by his chest to fall back a few more steps, he watched as you undressed yourself down to your underwear.

You bit down on your lip, mirroring his image of earlier, when his jaw almost fell to the floor at the sight of you.

"You're such a naughty girl, shit. My kind of girl." Joe walked forward but you reached out to place your hand back on his chest immediately, stopping him as still as a statue in his wake, he obeyed to you like you were some sort of goddess, becoming patient all of a sudden.

"I believe you're still dressed." You tilted your head to the side in a moderately cheeky state.

Joe removed his clothes faster than you could blink twice, his cock springing free from his boxers making your eyes almost pop out of their sockets. He wasn't too big nor too small, perfect in size but wide in girth, the perfect ratio.

"Bend over right now." You rolled your eyes at him once more and turned, slowly removing your cotton panties, feeling them fall to the floor once past your thighs, you kicked them out of the way and bent over as instructed.

Joe came up behind you, falling straight to his knees, patting at your thighs to open them slightly, you moved them open and without a second thought, Joe pushed his face right up to your cunt, tonguing straight inside your hole, humming along with your instant cries of pleasure. He fisted at his length slowly, throbbing to the way you tasted and the sounds of your rhythmic moans. The more noise you made, the faster his tongue would dart in and out of you. His hands were clutched to your ass, squeezing at the peachy cheeks. Joe slurped and tongue fucked you well, you couldn't imagine what the real deal would be like if his smaller muscle worked like this.

"Joe, fuck I-"

"Oh no. Not just yet, only good girls get to cum." Joe muttered, the vibrations of his voice sent straight through your core.

"Please." You bit onto your arm as tears seeped out of you, your release evident when he replaced his tongue for his fingers, fatter than you'd anticipated, he moved them through you erratically, leaving little nibbles against your ass cheek that his hand once occupied. You heard a wicked laugh behind you, making you clench around his digits in utter desperation.

"I get to fuck you first and then we'll see about letting that pretty pussy have it's orgasm." You gritted your teeth, his fingers pulling out of you and being replaced by his cock, stretching you out and filling you inch by inch, his hands slowly became one with your skin, his finger tips making marks around your waist as he didn't even give time to adjust, he began to pound ferociously, sending you into a fucked out mess.

"Fuckkkk, you're so tight. Are you going to be a good girl for me?" You nodded, but the ruckus that was being created from him railing you against the counter was mistook for ignorance on his part.

Joe's hand came down with a blow against your ass, not once but twice, harder the second time.

"Answer me. Are you going to be." His thrusts were powerful, his balls slapping up against you. "MY good fucking girl."

"Yes! Yes!" You squealed.

"Yes what?" Joe panted.

"I'll be your good girl. I swear."

You could feel the smirk from behind you as he continued to pound into you hard like you were a useless toy, a rag doll.

"Look at you, you're such a mess. Cum for me, pretty girl." Your body gave way, your cunt throbbed and tightened, you felt as though you were paralysed from the waist down, your teeth latched to your arm almost drawing blood from it's intensity.

The way you reacted to your release had Joe fucking into you, moaning at the top of his lungs. He pulled out without letting you know, you felt empty all of a sudden.

"On your knees." You turned and fell straight down, obedient and understanding for what he wanted more than anything.

"Open your mouth."

You opened up, staring up at him, Joe's eyes focussed on you as he jerked at his cock, seed flowing straight into your mouth after one last tug. He moaned your name clearer and no less beautiful than you'd ever heard him say it. You swallowed without thought watching him grin his teeth back at you, a little devilish chuckle following shortly after. He offered you his hand, standing you back up. Joe headed straight for the bathroom, leaving you alone. You grabbed a hold of your clothes which were thrown in various puddles around you, redressing yourself and hopping back onto your now obviously claimed stool.

As he came out, he gave you the most innocent and sweetest smile you'd ever seen; there was the soft boy you'd been wondering about again. The façade he puts on was so clearly an act, he was obviously a sweet person inside, but you'd quickly realised it was something you'd have to earn, especially after what had just occured.

"I couldn't stop myself, after knowing you clearly wanted me, do you know how much that made me want you?" Joe spoke out, interrupting your thoughts.

"Do you still want me?" You asked out right, like was this a one time thing? A one night stand if that's what you could call it, because it's not everyday you come and fuck a random stranger, it wasn't in you to do that ever, it was quite clear he'd got some form of hold on you to bring that side out of you which you were usually so shy about in such a hurry.

"Come by tomorrow and I'll definitely show you how much I want you again."

You furrowed your brows a little bit, slightly confused. Did he not want to get to know you?

"Is that all you want me for?" You were scared of the response but you had to know. Joe moved closer to you, pushing his knuckle up against your chin, bringing your eyes to meet his.

"Absolutely not. But it's a bonus." He made you feel like nobody else ever had. You were longing for someone you didn't even know at all, it was a dangerous game that you were entering but you were adamant to play along and see what happened next.

"You'd better be going, my staff will be back soon. I'll text you." Joe leaned down to plant a peck on your lips, holding back from stopping, he prolonged the kiss from ending, his fingers holding your chin, kissing you again and again. You left shortly after, more clueless than you'd felt before entering the bar in the first place. As you shut the door, you crossed over the road to head back to your house, turning back with a random instinct after hearing footsteps that weren't far behind you, you turned to see another girl heading into the bar, shadily looking side to side to make sure nobody was looking, someone that you were pretty sure was not his employee.

Your heart beat ten to the dozen, yet you had no right to be angry. So what, you were probably just another girl he wanted to fuck? Yet why were you fighting the urge to cry.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, a notification from Joe.

Joe: Same time tomorrow? You were such a good girl for me.

Locking your phone and shoving it back into your pocket, you almost turned back to bash on the doors to find out the truth. Feeling overcome with more anxiety than independence you removed yourself from the sight of that cursed bar, away from the man you thought for a second might have actually wanted you for more than just sex.

You decided the better option was to try and call him, you pressed the call button and placed the phone to your ear, the tone rang once and then was sent straight to voicemail. You were just a fuck.

Shaking with upset and now full blown anger, you stared at the block button, stopping yourself for a second, holding yourself against a brick wall as it was too much effort to stand, your body felt heavy and dirty, your head was a trainwreck. Your thumb did the work for you, blocking Joe's number after much deliberation.

Fuck him.

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