#Terry Jeffords

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

I'm probably a mix of Amy and Terry

[dailyb99gifs]

[iliketopgun]

Y'all are gonna have to pry Brooklyn 99 from my cold dead hands

[tuserlivia]

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE | 1.07

[miss-celestial-being]

jake peralta going on a blind date that boyle set up but she’s actually completely his type

literally the love of my life tysm for the request

-

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No. And did I mention, no!" Jake says exasperatedly. "You see, I knew you would say that which is why I already set up the date with her." Charles rebuttals. He tells him your name as he taps rhythmically on Jake's desk. "She's thirty-two, she loves herself some Tay-Tay, and her favorite soup is crab bisque. I met her in my hot goat yoga class." "Ew, what." "Yeah, I'm hearing how that sounds now. But still, I think you'd like her. Who knows, by the end of the night you may just be smushing booties." Jake groans, "God, Boyle, don't say smushing booties." "Right, yeah, yep," He picks up the file from Jake's desk, turning to the man as he walks away, "Shaw's Bar, 8 o'clock."

Charles turns back around and bumps into Terry as he walks to his desk. He groans as he crushes his yogurt cup in his hand, "Damnnit, Boyle." "Sorry," He says as he backs toward the exit of the bullpen. He rapidly clicks the close button once inside the elevator, evading Terry's angry gaze. "Jake sighs as he looks back at his computer.

"So, hot date tonight, huh?" Amy asks as she leans around their computers to smirk smugly at him. "Uhm, no. I'm not going," He says, his eyes not leaving the screen as he types mindlessly. "What? Why not? Charles says she's perfect for you." "Exactly: Charles thinks she's perfect for me. Knowing him she's either some hot goat yoga-loving freak, or-" "Or actually perfect for you. I think you should give it a shot. I mean, you're constantly complaining about how horribly dull your love life is," Jake frowns, "Hey, now, I wouldn't say horrible dull-" "Yes you would, and you have. Now no more fighting, you have a date to get ready for." Jake looks at the time at the bottom right corner of his monitor and sighs, "All right, fine. But when this all goes to total shit, I'm blaming you." Amy rolls her eyes with a grin and opens the next file from her stack as Jake makes his way to the elevator.

-

The bell rings as Jake opens the door to Shaw's Bar, his free hand shoved in his jacket pocket. The warm, boozy bar air fills his nostrils as he steps toward the bar, the glass door closing slowly behind him. He looks around the bar, hoping to instantly recognize the mystery woman, to no avail.

The bell rings again as Jake asks Hank for an orange soda on the rocks. The bartender sighs exhaustedly as he pulls the Crush can out of the mini fridge from behind the bar. "Jake?" A voice asks as someone taps him on the shoulder. He turns around, and his mouth opens and closes like a fish as his brain short-circuits. "Or not?" You laugh awkwardly, "I'm really sorry about this, I was told someone would be here, but it looks like he stood me up." You sit one chair over at the bartop, sighing as you rest your chin on your fist.

"Hi," Jake says as he hold out his hand, "I'm Jake." "Oh," You breathe, "Sorry. You didn't say anything and I just thought- Y'know what, never mind, I'm probably not what you were expecting." Jake smiles, "Well, you're right there. Charles told me he met you in a 'hot goat yoga class'." You cringe slightly, "I honestly didn't even know his name, I walked into the wrong building and he started talking to me about his friend Jake." "Sounds about right." You both laugh and he moves to the chair between you.

"So, my weird friend tells me you like Taylor Swift," Jake starts and the conversation lasts hours, the orange soda on the countertop left completely ignored. "All right, time to wrap it up. The bar's closing." Hank says as he wipes the counter. "Oh my god, how long have we been here?" Jake asks him, surprised. The bartender ignores him as he moves on to another part of the bar. You look around to find the bar completely empty.

You laugh quietly, "This was fun," You say softly as you exit the bar, "We should do this again-" You're cut off by a sudden surprising kiss, Jake's hands holding your cheeks gently to keep you close. Your eyes flutter closed and take the collar of his shirt in your fists. He pulls away, mumbling out a quick 'noice' before getting pulled back into a kiss that leaves him gasping for breath.

-

ik this ended abruptly but its a school night and i have to go to bed so this is as good as we're getting today

i really hope you liked this bc jake has been on my mind for ages and i couldnt find many fics here sadly

dont hesitate to request more

[letsperaltiago]

b99 characters as tweets (pt. 3/?)

[the-ultimate-obsessive-fangirl]

LOOK AT THIS MAN'S HANDS 😩😩😩

Jake Peralta PLEASE

I BEG

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

FINGER ME

[tacobacoyeet]

operation: just kiss already | jake peralta x reader

a/n: thank you for the request @glennussy! did you know that not only are you responsible for my first suits fic, you're also resposible for my first brooklyn nine-nine fic? how cool is that?! here's a short, silly little thing.

warnings: nothing really, but i tried to capture the cadence of an episode of brooklyn nine-nine with this, so it's not my usual writing style.

The bullpen was quiet.

Suspiciously quiet.

Which should’ve tipped you off, but you were too busy arguing with Jake over the objectively superior Die Hard sequel. (It was the third one. Obviously.)

“No way,” Jake was saying, leaning so far back in his chair that it teetered on two legs. “Die Hard 2 has snow. Explosions. A villain who looks like the guy who sells hot tubs at the mall. It’s festive and explosive.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s derivative and soulless. John McClane deserves better. Die Hard with a Vengeance has buddy cop magic. It has riddles. It has Samuel L. Jackson.”

Jake gasped. “You only like that one because of the riddles.”

“Correct. And also because it’s better in every possible way.”

He grinned at you, all teeth and ridiculous enthusiasm. “You’re so wrong, and it’s adorable.”

Unbeknownst to either of you, Rosa had entered the bullpen mid-debate. She stood frozen for a second, eyes narrowed as she watched Jake scoot his chair closer to yours under the guise of making a point. You were both laughing now—loudly, obnoxiously, obliviously.

She turned on her heel, marched into the briefing room, and slammed the door open. Amy looked up from her planner.

“They’re flirting again,” Rosa said. “Loudly. About Die Hard.”

Amy let out a strangled noise and flung her highlighter across the room. “That’s the third time this week!”

“I can’t take it anymore,” Boyle said, his voice cracking with emotion. “It’s like watching two golden retrievers discover love but never actually go for the tennis ball.”

Terry looked up from his yogurt. “They need a push.”

“No,” Holt said firmly from the doorway. “What they need is therapy. But I’ll settle for a strategic intervention.”

Rosa raised an eyebrow. “Sir?”

He sighed. “Mandatory team-building. Effective immediately.”

Amy clapped her hands. “I’ll make the schedule.”

“Operation: Just Kiss Already is a go,” Terry muttered.

Boyle was already crying.

-----

The next morning, you walked into the precinct, coffee in hand and zero suspicion in your heart. Jake appeared beside you like a particularly handsome ghost.

"Morning, partner," he said, stealing a sip of your drink without asking. You let him, as always.

“Morning, parasite.”

“Aw. You say the sweetest things.”

You were halfway through bickering over who would win in a fight between Bruce Willis and a sentient vending machine when Amy called out: “Everyone to the briefing room!”

Jake perked up. “Ooh, emergency? Murder? Vending machine uprising?”

“Worse,” Rosa muttered, brushing past. “Icebreakers.”

You shot Jake a look. “Should we run?”

“Too late.”

Inside the briefing room, Holt stood with a large poster behind him that read: TEAM-BUILDING WEEK: PRECINCT UNITY AND COHESION.

Boyle had decorated it with glitter pens.

Jake leaned toward you and whispered, “That poster feels like a trap.”

“You feel like a trap,” you muttered back.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Welcome,” Holt said, deadpan. “This week will consist of a series of exercises meant to bolster teamwork and deepen interpersonal bonds. Participation is mandatory. Complaining is futile.”

Terry stepped forward, clapping once. “We’re starting with a classic: Trust Falls.”

Jake groaned audibly. “Oh no. No, no, no. I have very little trust and a lot of fall-related trauma.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Amy chirped, already pairing everyone up. “You’re with Y/N.”

Jake turned to you, giving a mock-solemn nod. “If I die, avenge me.”

“Noted.”

You stood behind him, arms out. He looked over his shoulder suspiciously.

“You’re not gonna let me hit the ground just to prove a point, right?”

“Depends. Do you admit Die Hard 3 is superior?”

He gasped. “You would let me die.”

But he let himself fall anyway—and you caught him.

Jake blinked up at you from your arms. “Huh. I didn’t die. That’s kind of romantic.”

You laughed. “Don’t push it, Peralta.”

Across the room, Amy wrote something down in her binder and underlined it three times.

Boyle wiped away a tear. “They’re so beautiful.”

-----

The next activity was announced during lunch.

“Desert Island Scenarios,” Terry declared, holding up a laminated packet. “Each pair will be given a list of items and a survival scenario. Work together to decide what to keep, what to ditch, and how you’d make it off the island. It’s about problem-solving and cooperation.”

Jake immediately raised his hand. “Are we allowed to weaponize coconuts?”

“No,” Amy said flatly.

“Fine. Then I call dibs on building our shelter.” He nudged you. “You good with palm fronds?”

You smirked. “As long as I’m not the one weaving them.”

The two of you were given a scenario card that read: Shipwrecked on an uninhabited island. No rescue expected for two weeks.

Jake read aloud: “You may choose only five of the following ten items: a hatchet, a tarp, a fishing net, waterproof matches, a flare gun, a pot, a deck of cards, duct tape, a mirror, or a radio with no batteries.”

You both immediately said, “Matches.”

Jake beamed. “We’re so in sync.”

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down, coconut buddy.”

By the end of the exercise, you had drawn a map of your imaginary island, built a fantasy hut, and decided you’d survive by fishing, drinking boiled rainwater, and arguing over who got the hammock.

Jake looked disturbingly pleased with himself.

“Honestly?” he said, stretching his arms over his head. “I think we’d make a pretty great apocalypse duo.”

You didn’t say anything.

But you didn’t look away either.

Across the room, Rosa whispered, “They’re doomed.”

Boyle sobbed quietly into his lunch.

-----

“Next up,” Amy announced the following day, with barely restrained glee, “is the Compliment Gauntlet!”

Jake looked alarmed. “That sounds suspiciously emotional.”

“That’s because it is,” Amy said. “Each person will be tethered wrist-to-wrist to a partner while offering increasingly specific compliments. The rope only comes off when both people have given a compliment that makes the other physically blush.”

You stared at her. “What kind of twisted Hallmark-bootcamp is this?”

“Justice,” Rosa muttered. “Sweet, calculated justice.”

Jake grinned. “Well, looks like we’re stuck with each other. Again.”

“I’m starting to think that’s intentional.”

“You think?” he said, already extending his wrist toward you. “I’m shocked, truly.”

The rope was tied. Amy set a timer. “Begin.”

Jake smirked. “You have the best taste in snacks and the most expressive eye rolls I’ve ever seen.”

You blinked. “You remembered my snack order?”

“Down to the exact number of gummy bears.”

Your cheeks warmed. Damn it.

“Your hair looks really good today,” you said quickly, deflecting.

He tilted his head. “That’s cute, but not enough. We both know it.”

You exhaled. “You’re the most annoyingly observant, big-hearted disaster of a detective I’ve ever met, and it drives me insane in a way that’s... weirdly endearing.”

Jake blinked.

The tips of his ears turned red.

The rope fell to the ground with a dramatic snap.

Boyle audibly gasped.

Amy fist-pumped. “YES!"

Rosa nodded, satisfied. “Finally.”

Jake looked down at the rope, then at you. “So… we blushed.”

You stared back. “We did.”

His grin grew slow and dumb. “That means we’re... great at this.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Yet here you are.”

-----

The final activity arrived with all the subtlety of a bombshell.

“Tonight’s exercise,” Amy announced, trying not to visibly vibrate with excitement, “is called ‘The Trust Maze.’”

Jake squinted. “Is this about corn mazes? Because I got lost in one as a kid and accidentally joined another family.”

“No,” Amy said. “This is a communication challenge. One person wears a blindfold. The other gives verbal directions to guide them through an obstacle course set up in the evidence room. Minimal lighting. Maximum confusion. The only way out is teamwork.”

Jake turned to you, grinning. “So basically, I stumble around in the dark while you yell at me?”

“Pretty much,” you replied. “Sounds like a Tuesday.”

Boyle handed Jake a blindfold. “Godspeed, buddy.”

Moments later, Jake was standing at the starting line of a makeshift maze made of overturned chairs, file boxes, and caution tape, blindfold secured. The lights were dimmed.

“You ready, Y/N?” Terry called from the corner, stopwatch in hand.

“As I’ll ever be,” you muttered, stepping beside the tape.

“Go!”

“Okay,” you called. “Take two steps forward. No—your other forward. Right.”

Jake flailed and corrected himself. “You need to define directions better!”

“Maybe if you didn’t walk like a baby deer on ice!”

Laughter echoed from the bullpen.

“Turn left! Now duck—DUCK!”

Jake dropped to a crouch as a mop handle swung above his head.

“Holy crap,” he breathed. “You’re actually trying to kill me.”

“Only if you keep making Die Hard 2 references.”

He stumbled forward again, miraculously avoiding a stack of boxes. “You know, this would be a lot more romantic if I weren’t sweating profusely and fearing death.”

You hesitated for half a second, voice quieter now. “Romantic?”

Jake stopped. “Wait, did I say that out loud?”

You didn’t answer. He tugged the blindfold up just enough to peek at you.

The room fell quiet.

“I mean,” he started, his voice suddenly more genuine than it had been all week, “this whole thing’s kind of ridiculous, right? Everyone trying to make us figure out what we apparently can’t?”

You looked at him, soft and stunned. “You think we’re that oblivious?”

Jake smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know. Maybe. But I also know I like arguing with you. I like drinking your coffee. I like... the way you always catch me.”

Your heart was hammering.

“I like you,” he said. “A lot.”

You took a slow step forward until you were right in front of him. “Then maybe,” you murmured, reaching up to pull the blindfold fully off, “you should stop letting everyone else tell you when to do something about it.”

Jake’s breath hitched.

And then you kissed him.

The entire bullpen erupted.

“FINALLY!” Boyle screamed.

Amy high-fived Rosa. Holt closed his office door with a muttered, “About time.”

Terry just grinned and marked something off on a clipboard.

Jake pulled back slightly, dazed. “So... uh... do we win team-building week?”

You grinned. “We just might’ve broken the scoreboard.”

[ateotd-izzy]

how you get the girl | jake peralta x fem!reader

summary: 6 months after your breakup, on a rainy night, jake turns up on your doorstep.

warnings: some swearing, kissing, nothing that big of a deal

taglist: @brvceyamada

☾

stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain

you were sat on your couch. all the lights were off and you had a movie playing on the tv while you were curled on the couch and listening to the rain.

it was basically a perfect night.

then there was a knock at your door.

it was late. you checked your phone to see the time, 11:38 pm, and got up with a groan.

why was someone at your door this late at night?

she’ll open up the door and say, ‘are you insane?’

you unlocked the front door and once you pulled it open you found your ex-boyfriend, jake peralta, standing on your porch.

he was soaking wet, his hair sticking to his forehead and his clothes drenched, from the rain.

“jake, what are you doing here?” you asked, taking in his appearance. “it’s the middle of the night and it’s pouring! are you insane?”

say it’s been a long six months

“maybe.” he replied before going quiet again and staring at you. “it’s been… a long six months.”

“really, jake?” you sighed.

you had seen him almost every single day since he broke up with you due to the fact that you worked together.

“are you drunk or something?”

“no! no— i…” he sighed. “i just…”

and you were too afraid to tell her what you want

“i was… afraid.” jake paused. “of telling you the truth.”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean the truth about how i felt about our relationship. i was too scared to tell you what i really wanted.”

“i’m so confused right now.” your eyes flitted around his face.

and that’s how it works

“just… come inside, peralta. it’s raining.” you grabbed him by the sleeve of his leather jacket and pulled him into your house.

“it’s been a while since i’ve been here.” jake said, looking around at the house that hasn’t really changed in the six months since he had dumped you.

that’s how you get the girl

“okay, jake, just… can you please explain what you’re doing here?” you asked. “this is totally random, and i’d like to know what you’re doing and why.”

jake’s mouth went dry and he stopped looking up at the ceiling. his eyes stopped on you.

and then, you say

“okay.” jake took a deep breath. “here it goes.”

“here what goes?” you asked.

i want you for worse or for better

“i want you.” jake paused. “for worse or for better.”

you raised your eyebrows in surprise for a moment before staring at him with a blank look.

i would wait forever and ever

“and, look, i would wait forever and ever.” jake said.

“you’re joking, right?” you asked, one hand still on the handle to your front door. “you can’t possibly be serious.”

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“y/n, i know i broke your heart.” jake sighed and looked up from his shoes and took one step closer to you. “but i’ll put it back together.”

you narrowed your eyes at him for two reasons. one, in disbelief, and two, because something about the whole situation was familiar.

i would wait forever and ever

“again, i would wait forever. and ever.” jake mumbled and the two of you stood in your entryway, a few feet away from each other.

“jake, you have got to be kidding me.” you sighed and walked past him and back into the living room, where your movie was now paused on the tv.

and that’s how it works

“what do you mean?” he asked, following you into the room.

“i mean you turning up at my house in the middle of the night talking like a crazy person.”

“a person… crazy in love.” jake said with a wide smile, which he dropped after he saw your disappointed stare. “no? okay.”

that’s how you get the girl

“jake, what is up with you?” you questioned him. “why are you here and why are you saying all this stuff?”

he walked past you and sat down on your couch, still wet.

“off the couch.” you ordered and he got up quickly.

“sorry.” he slowly made his way around the room before stopping in front of a shelf.

remind her how it used to be

he picked up a framed photo off of it and turned to look at you. “you’ve still got these up?”

you shrugged, crossing your arms and holding your robe tight. “yeah.”

“do you remember the day we took this?” he asked.

the picture he held was a selfie he had taken when the two of you were on a date after finishing a big case.

he has caught the exact moment you kissed his cheek.

with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks

“mhm.” you didn’t want to say much. you didn’t like him being in your house, despite being the one who let him in. “right after we solved the mason murder case you took me out on that date.”

jake chuckled to himself and put the frame down. “yeah.”

the two of you had gone out for dinner, but then abandoned all plans for being in the outside world and decided to watch movies in jake’s apartment.

that same night, he told you that he loved you for the very first time.

tell her how you must’ve lost your mind

jake turned to look at you again.

he didn’t care if you were staring at him with a look that was a mix of both disapproval and disappointment, or that you clearly did not want him to be there.

jake’s eyes travelled from your eyes down your body and back to your face. he thought you looked beautiful.

“y/n, i swear, i must’ve lost my mind.” he forced out a very awkward chuckle, which he masked with a cough. “i did something so stupid, even for me.”

when you left her all alone, and never told her why

“which was?”

“dumping you. and not even telling you why.”

he did that.

six months earlier jake had come up to you at work and asked to talk to you privately.

and that’s how it works

“hey, babe, can i talk to you in private for one second?” jake had appeared at your side mid-conversation with rosa.

“oh, yeah, one sec.” you smiled and he nodded. jake started walking away and you told rosa you’d be right back before following jake.

the two of you soon ended up in the evidence room.

“what’s up?” you asked once the two of you were in the room with the door closed.

jake went silent in front of you. he seemed to freeze up.

“jake? you okay?”

“hmm? oh, yeah, totally, all good.” jake chuckled and cleared his throat. “but, um, anyway. so what i wanted to talk to you about was… i want…”

jake trailed off and stared you in the eyes. you waited for him to go on, giving him a weird look and he shook his head.

“i wanna break up!” jake basically spewed the words out as he yelled them loudly at you. “yup. that’s it. i want to break up… with you…”

jake nodded and turned on his heel, speeding out of the room.

that’s how you lost the girl

“i messed up. big time.”

“really?” you pretended to be surprised. “wow, i had no idea!”

jake stared back blankly. “okay. i get it.”

“do you, jake?” you asked. “because you turning up here and thinking i’d be okay with that tells me that maybe you don’t really get it.”

and now, you say

“no, i do.” he sighed. “i came here because i’ve been thinking. like, really thinking.”

you stared at him expectantly.

“i wanted to apologize.”

“after six months?” you almost laughed. “that’s half a year, jake.”

i want you for worse or for better

“i know.” jake buried his face in his hands. “but i swear, i’ve been thinking about this for… yeah, for literally the entire six months.”

“and what is this thing you’ve been thinking about?”

“i knew i had messed up immediately, and i freaked out and that’s why i ran away.”

you raised your eyebrows. “you messed up so you ran away instead of… talking about it like adults?”

i would wait forever and ever

“well, i did talk about it with charles.” jake said.

“i meant talk about it with me.” you stated. “as in the girl you broke up with without any explanation or another word that wasn’t work related for six months until you show up on her doorstep unannounced in the middle of the night when there’s a storm outside.”

as if on cue, thunder cracked outside.

“okay, keep it down, storm. we’re trying to have a conversation in here.” jake seemed to shout at your ceiling before looking at you with an amused smile.

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“okay, look,” he sighed. “i’ll be real with you right now. i want you back. i want us to be together again and i would literally wait forever and ever.”

“so you’ve said.” you nodded slightly, taking acknowledgment of the fact that jake’s hair had dried and had started to curl on top of his head.

not that you were looking at his hair. you were only listening to what he had to say.

you were totally over him.

“jake, i’ve finally… moved on. i’m over it.” you lied. “why did you decide to come here tonight?”

i would wait forever and ever

“because i still love you.” he stated. “and i never stopped loving you because i never wanted to break up in the first place.”

“then why did you break up with me?” you questioned him. “at work of all places, too. for all of our friends to find out immediately? for them to practically baby me for the next month until i finally snapped at them to stop? because that’s what happened.”

“because…”

and that’s how it works

he sighed. “god, why does this have to be so hard?”

“‘god, why does this have to be so hard?’ title of your sex tape.” you said, practically on instinct, before awkwardly coughing at the sight of his smile.

jake didn’t say anything for a moment after that. he just stared at you with that beautifully stupid smile on his stupidly beautiful face.

that’s how you get the girl

“you were saying?”

“right.” jake nodded and cleared his throat. “um… i didn’t want to break up with you. i just freaked out because i couldn’t say what i wanted to say and then started overthinking everything in my head.”

“what were you going to say?” you asked. “you know, before you broke up with me.”

“i was, um… i was gonna suggest that, uh, i…” jake sighed. “i was gonna ask what your thoughts would be on me moving in with you here.”

he gestured around himself to the house the two of you stood in.

and that’s how it works

“i really do love you, y/n. i just… it was just such a big… thing.” jake cursed at himself under his breath. “it was a huge thing and, like, i worried that maybe i was going too fast or that you’d say no and crush my heart so…”

“so you just crushed my heart first to prevent any possible damage to yourself.”

“yup. i’m such an idiot.”

“yeah, you are.”

that’s how you get the girl

“look, i’m sorry for turning up here.” jake apologized and started walking towards the front door again. “i’ll just go and we can pretend none of this happened and go back to not talking to each other.”

“what if i don’t want that.” you spoke and jake turned to look at you.

“what?”

“i mean… it’s raining outside.” nice save. “you don’t want to get sick or anything.”

and you know

“oh, right.” he moved away from the door a little. “smort. i mean, smart thinking, y/n.”

you nodded.

he then looked over at the tv. “die hard?”

you shrugged. “yeah. i was bored and lonely, so…”

“i get it.” he nodded.

“you can, um, watch it with me if you want.” you offered awkwardly. “i mean, it is your favourite movie of all time.”

jake smiled at you. “yeah, okay.”

“then maybe we can talk more about…” you gestured around at him. “this whole thing.”

that i don’t want you to go

the two of you sat down on the couch, but you didn’t put the movie back on. instead the two of you sat quietly.

“what made you decide to come here tonight? i mean, after six whole months?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“i don’t know. i was just in my apartment and listening to music… then i decided i couldn’t deal with us not being together anymore.”

remind me how it used to be

“for months… i don’t know why i didn’t do anything. i guess, i was scared?” he looked at you before laughing. “what am i saying? this is so dumb. whatever.”

“jake…”

“no, i sound ridiculously stupid. i broke up with you.” he rubbed his face. “i shouldn’t be acting like i was the one who was hurt.”

“at least you’re self-aware.” you mumbled before leaning back in your seat.

“y/n…” he reached out and took one of your hands in his. “i’m so sorry. for everything. for dumping you with no explanation, then acting as if nothing happened at all.”

with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks

“why didn’t you just… explain to me you didn’t really want to break up right after it happened? or at least in the same day?” you asked.

“because… i kind of just assumed this was what you wanted.” jake gestured between the two of you. “you’re way too good for me. i mean, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re an amazing detective, plus you’re super hot. i just guessed you didn’t really… i mean, look at me.”

“jacob peralta, you are such an idiot sometimes.” you deadpanned and he winced. “but, you do know that you’re also really smart, right? you’re one of the best detectives i know. you’re funny and you’re also super hot.”

“okay, i know you’re trying to make me feel better and this is the worst time to say this, but you feeding my ego and talking in that sexy voice is really turning me on.”

“oh, shut up.”

and say you want me

the silence between you returned for a moment before jake spoke again.

“y/n, i want you back.”

a part of you didn’t want to take him back. he had made you feel terrible for months and quite literally had broken your heart.

but on the other hand…

“jake…” you started and he met your eyes, looking almost desperate.

and then you say

then it clicked in your head. why the things he had been saying seemed to familiar to you.

“oh, my god. jacob peralta you did not.” you hit his arm and he gave you a confused look.

“what?”

i want you for worse or for better

“i want you for worse or for better.” you spoke in a song-like tune and a small smile tugged on jake’s lips.

i would wait forever and ever

“i would wait forever and ever.” you chuckled and shook your head.

the way he smiled at you at that moment made your stomach flip.

broke your heart, i’ll put it back together

“broke your heart, i’ll put it back together.” you glared playfully. “i would wait forever and ever.”

i want you forever and ever

“i want you forever and ever.” jake replaced the line you sang with one later in the song, his face inching closer to yours.

“and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl.” you shook your head again in disbelief. “you really followed the steps from the song?”

jake shrugged, your lips almost touching. “did it work?”

“maybe.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

you leaned forward and connected your lips with his.

jake’s hands held onto your hips while your hands ran up his chest and to his shoulders.

when you pulled apart, you smiled curiously and asked him, “when did you plan this, jake?”

“obviously it took months and months of planning to get it perfect.” he said and you gave him a look. “i didn’t plan it, i got the idea, like, five minutes before i left to come here.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

“you came here with no plan except for the lyrics to a taylor swift song?”

“i had faith. she’s a genius, i trusted her.”

you laughed and so did he before connecting your lips in another kiss.

“charles is gonna lose his shit when he hears about this.”

“how would he know if you don’t tell him?” you questioned.

“oh, he has some kind of sixth sense about this stuff.” jake stated.

“what stuff?”

“us. together.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

you paused. “you want us to be together again?”

jake’s mouth was parted slightly and he nodded in the dead silence of the room. “so badly.”

he connected his hand with yours and leaned closer.

“would you give me another chance? please?”

“are you gonna actually communicate with me and tell me how you feel instead of breaking up with me this time?”

jake’s hands held the sides of your face. “i promise. i’ve felt so horrible for the last 6 months and i swear i will never hurt you like that again.”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

there was a quiet moment between the two of you.

“so, y/n l/n…” jake took a deep breath. “will you give me another chance and be my girlfriend again?”

and that’s how it works

“jake peralta, you’re one lucky son of a bitch.” you said before quickly adding, “i don’t mean that, i love your mom. she’s really great.”

he chuckled. “don’t worry about it.”

then he leaned forward and kissed you again.

that’s how you get the girl

a/n: so this is something and idk how i feel about it but i love jake so here’s this

[dailyb99gifs]

[silentstyx]

"Go For the Throat" ~ jake peralta x reader

tw! fighting, hitting a throat, self-defense, genitalia mention, laryngeal trauma.

sum! "Have one of them teaching the other self-defense or fighting and one of them accidentally hits the other too hard." (ai fanfic trope again lord save me)

I'M SO MAD, THEY DIDN'T HAVE A B99 LIKE PICTURE THING IDK WHAT THEY'RE CALLED. I'M 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓎. js fyi i did watch b99 while watching so im pretty up to date on his character 😉😎 also established relationship between jake and reader

You weren't a detective but you did have a detective boyfriend. Who says he's "put a bunch Gruber's away"? Whatever that means.

Anyways, having a cop boyfriend meant that you were safe. When he was there at least. Otherwise it was up to you to keep yourself safe.

Except you never really got taught how to defend yourself. But recently Jake offered to teach you self-defense.

You were on your way to the 99th precinct, after looking up what to wear when you practice self-defense. It said comfortable clothes you can move around in: you brought tennis shoes, t-shirt, shorts, no jewelry.

You go to the detective floor for Jake, after grabbing his attention he took you to the gym. He had on his gray shirt and jeans. God he looks so good.

"i don't know what to do." You confess to him, looking at his body not his face.

He chuckled, "thats the whole reason you're here. Because you don't know what to do."

You roll your eyes at his witty response. He then starts to teach you what to do.

"I'm gonna teach ya how to throw a punch, kay?" He said a tad more seriously.

You nod your head, then he goes further to explain.

"Okay you wanna make sure you're always covering your face. so put your forearms in front of your face, but make sure your fists are still able to throw a punch." He does it as he explains, showing you a visual aid as well.

You copy him, as well as his spread feet that he didn't explain.

"Okay, good. But I'm gonna warn you, you're not always going to be able to do that so I need to see how good your punch is." He explains.

You look confused, "How am I supposed to show you?"

"Punch me."

He says it so carelessly meanwhile you're freaking out, "What? Why?"

"So I can see how you strong you punch? I feel like I made it pretty clear?" He says with his confused, teasing smile.

You roll your eyes at his sarcastic come back, "Where?"

"uhh my stomach. No that might could hurt bad... uh my.. hand!" He says, while he was thinking about it he was doing that thing where he looks around a bunch.

You snicker at his antics before hitting his hands, the way he told you to do it. You hit hard enough that every time you hit him his hands went back. He also wasn't known for being the strongest. No matter how much Jake had told you otherwise.

"Noice, okay now let's do a body part where it wont move backwards when it gets hit." He has his proud, genuine, sweet smile on as he says this, "Hit my shoulder"

"Won't that hurt?" You put your hands down a little more as you look at him concerned.

He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Thanks babe, but I'm so buff that I probably won't even feel it."

Again, you roll your eyes and scoff at his comment. God he was gaslighting himself.

"What I'm saying is there a bunch of strong, tough bones in your shoulder that will hurt if I try to fist my fist through it?" You said, matter-of-factly.

His face came to a realization of what you meant then he smiled, "Oh yeah, smort. Hit me in the chest, it'll hurt less. Especially with all of these... chest bumps... that I do with, uh, my gym bro's."

You shook your head, putting your fists back to the way he instructed you.

BAM.

You meant to aim or the chest.

You thought you were hitting him a little below the collar bone.

Except you were a little off. You hit him in the throat.

He was making a wheezing noise, holding his throat. Your hands were still near your face, but this time they aren't kept in fists. They're flexing as you freak out.

"Oh my god, Jake! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to!" You say panicked.

He doesn't respond, he's still bent over an end table, holding his throat, wheezing.

You grab his phone, unlocking it, and call some of his coworkers upstairs to join you. Those being: Amy, Charles, and Terry.

They all come downstairs after seeing he had been put in a group chat with the only message reading, "come to the gym NOW."

They then see Jake gasping for air. Charles was the first one by his side.

"Jakey! Are you alright?" Charles asked panicked as well.

Jake gives him a look of concern and confusion (eyes widening and brows furrowed).

"What the hell happened down here?!" Terry asks somewhat loud, "Peralta I'm gonna take you to the hospital."

Charles, Terry, and Jake all leave. Jake getting admitted to the ER more than likely. Leaving you and Amy alone. Together. Where you probably just killed Jake.

"What happened?" Amy asks, genuinely just confused.

That's when you word vomitted.

"Jake was teaching me self-defense so I could protect myself when he isn't around, he told me to him in the chest but I missed and hit him in the neck!" You speak at a rapid pace.

You feel so guilty, he has a now life-threatening injury because of you. Amy comes up to you with a sympathetic look, rubbing your shoulder, "When the sarge texts me I'll let you know and I'll take you to the hospital."

You nod your head at her comment, appreciating her kindness.

About half an hour later Amy gets a text from Terry and she takes you to the hospital in her car.

You were allowed to visit him in his room, Terry had to drag Charles out so you two could have alone time.

Jake wasn't weezing anymore but his voice was super raspy.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to hit you in the throat. I meant to punch you in the chest, like you said. I feel so bad." You again rant.

"It isn't 100% your fault. I should've gotten you to punch the actual punching bag, the thing that is made to punch." He says somewhat regretfully, still coming out in weird teasing tone.

Your eyebrows were practically knitted together. He could see the guilt, pain, and regret in your face.

"Don't feel bad. We're both at fault. Hitting me in the chest also would've hurt me, and risked my heart. The doctors said I have Laryngeal trauma," He tries to explain, "but they also said that nothing looks severe and that I should be back to normal soon."

You nod, understanding that nothing is too severe. Still, you feel bad that this whole time you could've avoided this. If you were smart enough to say, "Hey! This isn't a good idea, let's just use the punching bag!" or if you had just done what he originally said and punched his shoulder.

"I think that is what you should use that move for self-defense." Jake says jokingly.

You rolled your eyes at him and laughed, "or kick 'em in the genitals. Hurts for girls and guys."

"I don't want to practice that move with you."

[mannyblacque]

Somewhere in the Brooklyn Nine Nine universe, there is a Halloween heist going on right now.

[baatheblacksheep]

Pjo characters as b99 characters

[madwomansapologist]

Hello! I noticed that you have Brooklyn nine nine in your masterlist

As a fan of B99, May I request a wholesome headcanon of Rosa Diaz, Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta, Charles Boyle and Terrence Jeffords' reaction of meeting the reader who is captain Raymond Holt and kevin cosner's adoptive child and is working in the 99th precinct

Sorry if this is long

99th precint meeting Kevin & Holt adoptive child would include

Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More B99 | AO3

synopsis: The squad already knew that Raymond Holt is a man of few words, but who would have thought that he had a child?

warnings: none. gender neutral. no race implied. no age implied. like jake and amy, everyone deserves to feel like Holt and Kevin's kid. all b99 detectives included. reader have Holt and Kevin's personality.

Dear 99th Precint, I proudly inform you that today will be my child's first day of work as a rookie cop in our precinct. Don't embarrass me. Sincerely, Raymond Holt.

• No one had ever heard Raymond talking about having a child. They never saw a photo of them on his house. Kevin never mentioned something. Or have them? No. No, they didn't.

• Even Gina was surprised. She was mean about it, of course, but she didn't knew anything.

• When Holt arrived, everyone was waiting for him on his office. Peralta tried to play cool before asking, but soon Terry was screaming about how could he have a child and didn't say anything to them.

Haymond answered without blinking an eye: "Peralta would make it weird." Everyone understood. "Hey!" Everyone except Peralta. "But why you don't have pictures with them on your house?" Amy asked. "Are you implying I would forget my child's face, Santiago?" Holt was clearly offended.

• You arrived apologizing for being three minutes and seven seconds late. Rosa widened her eyes, muttering about you being his copy. Holt smiled at that comment.

• Jake tried to act like a cool big brother but as soon as you opened your mouth he was fangirling over you. You made a mental note about calling him "bro" if you ever needed something from him or wanted to make him happy. Every single little thing you did was a reason for him to smile widely.

• Terry offered to show you the place, and told you everyone's name. He was all sweet and polite, acting like the dad of the squad. Well, he was. Terry made questions about your training and abillities. He was trying to show off, and it was working.

• Amy was affraid of saying something wrong. Amy danced when you said your father talked about her, and immediately regreted that. All her atempts of acting cool were imterrupted by Gina's jokes. She almost cried when you refered to her as your father's apprentice.

• Hitchcock and Scully thought you were already working with them. They didn't get what was happening. Holt was so glad when they went to took a nap.

• You and Rosa sat down and spent thirty minutes in absolute silence. It was the best experience of your entire life.

• Gina was waiting for you in the hallway of the bathroom. She asked if you wanna form a alliance with her. You obviously said yes, despite not knowing what she really meant by that.

• You were surprised for not meeting Boyle. On your lunch break, you realized why: he had rushed to prepare a meal for the two of you. He and Terry got into a fight about food while you were eating. It was exactly like your father told you. It was perfect.

• You have a nice feeling about working there.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[kosssich]

nothing will stop me

it was so fuuun!! man i love drawing ponies! everything is better as ponies. combining my current hyperfixation and an old one is so nice

[the-ultimate-obsessive-fangirl]

I need Jake Peralta in me

Right now

Right

Fucking

Now