#Ten lepers

[unopenablebox]

i know cadfael/hugh beringar is the mainline slash ship for these books and like, i do get it, but honestly brother cadfael/brother mark has certain meaningful charms

[incorrect-koh-posts]

"Young Baldwin seems to have possessed a naturally strong constitution, and he was also gifted with undeniable qualities of character and a strong, lively intelligence. William of Tyre, who was his tutor, says that 'in his childhood he was very handsome, with a quick and open mind, and he rode very well, better than his forebears had done.' 'Never forgetting an injury, and still less a kindness,' he had 'a retentive memory, was well educated with an excellent memory for tales and a fondness for telling them.'

The child must have realized very early that his disease was incurable, and his reaction shows great strength of character. He wanted to forget and make everyone else forget, right up to the end, that he was sick. But by the time King Amalric died, young Baldwin's disease had made such progress that it was already beginning to show, and 'the people of the kingdom felt great grief when they looked at him.'

From 1175 onward, the regent and the barons of Jerusalem were able to count on an unexpected ally, and a more valuable one than might have at first been thought. At fourteen years the young King Baldwin emerged as an intrepid fighter, capable of leading his troops into battle and later on of commanding them personally in the field. He was seen at the side of the constable and the Count of Tripoli, riding at the head of his troops and taking part in raids and diversionary campaigns [...]. At the time the King was still too young to actually command his army, and his principal function was as a symbol and an inspiration for his men. They were all happier marching under command of their lawful King. Young though he was, he was like the flag, to be protected and followed through the thickest of the fight, and he was not afraid of personal danger. [...]

When he came to the throne, he had [...] been a leper for ten years, and although the disease did not begin to make rapid strides until puberty, it must, even in early adolescence, have weakened and exhausted him. It is unlikely that anyone would have dared to reproach him had he wished to consider himself an invalid, yet he behaved as though he were perfectly well.

He had been educated, as became a prince, by knights and masters of arms and also by churchmen [...], and these had not failed to teach him patience and prepare him for the harsh trial that was to be his life, and to arouse in him a sense of duty and pride in being, despite his infirmity, King of Jerusalem and Defender of the Holy Sepulcher. Whether as a result of education or temperament, Baldwin IV seems to have had little inclination to self-pity. The young King overcame his illness with all the determination of an adolescent who knows he is physically weak and is bent on proving to everyone, himself included, that he can equal and even surpass others. He may have been a king who had the misfortune to be a leper, but he was also a leper lucky enough to be a king.

He loved power because it was all life had to offer him, and he very early evinced a wish to govern by himself, and would not tolerate disobedience. A temperament of this kind can easily degenerate into tyranny and capriciousness in one so young, but Baldwin IV had a lively and precociously mature mind, and was sincerely concerned to do his best for the good of the kingdom; and this right up to the time when his sufferings began to drive him out of his mind. [...] Up to the last moment he wanted to be a king and a general, and he wanted to be obeyed. It was his way of clinging to life, and he was a terrible fighter."

- Zoé Oldenbourg, The Crusades (1966)

[sacredheart-stigmata]

The Healing Mysteries of the Holy Rosary

A few weeks ago, before the beginning of Lent, I posted a rundown of the "hopeful" mysteries of the most holy rosary that I had found through hopefulmysteries.com I fell in love with the idea of a layperson's spiritual fruit shining out through their own understandings of the mysteries, and since then have been keeping my eyes out and ears perked for any new ones I could find. And new ones I did! This post will be on the 'Healing Mysteries', and I will make and link a second one on the 'Miraculous Mysteries'.

The First Healing Mystery: Jesus Restores the Outcast to Community (Luke 17: 11-17)

On the way to Jerusalem Jesus was going through the region between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten men with a skin disease approached him. Keeping their distance, they called out, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” When he saw them, he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were made clean. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’s feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus asked, “Were not ten made clean? So where are the other nine? Did none of them return to give glory to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.”

If there is one thing we can be certain of, it is Christ's love of the outcast. The Beatitudes make this clear, but we also see it here, in the cleansing of ten lepers. These men did not even approach Jesus, knowing their status well, begging from afar that Christ have mercy. Jesus brought them healing, loving them even when no one else did. Their belief in Jesus brought them cleanliness, but it was the Samaritan's faith and thanksgiving that made him well. Let us be like the Samaritan, proclaiming God's grace, that we may be made well as we are welcomed into the family of the heavenly host, outcasts no more. And let us remember as we live each day to welcome others to us, including the outcast and unwanted, just as our Lord did.

The Second Healing Mystery: The Bleeding Woman is Healed By Her Faith & Courage (Mark 5: 25-34)

Now there was a woman who had been suffering from a flow of blood for twelve years. She had endured much under many physicians and had spent all that she had, and she was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, “If I but touch his cloak, I will be made well.” Immediately her flow of blood stopped, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my cloak?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, ‘Who touched me?’ ” He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”

In one of the most famous healing stories in the Bible, the bleeding woman has lived with pain and hemorrhaging for 12 years. What explicitly caused her disability, we do not know, but we do know one thing for certain: her unwaving faith in Christ. She pursued him through a crowd, pushing and shoving of who knows how many people to reach him. Did she fall? Was she pushed to the ground by the clamoring of others, nearly trampled underfoot? Did her blood stain her hands as she reached for the hem of Jesus' clothes, the heel of his sandal, anything she could reach? Did that same blood transfer to the clothes of her Lord as she finally grabbed hold? When the bleeding woman reached forward, she reached with more than faith-- she reached with courage. How frightened she must have been when she came to see him. How scared she must have been to be pressed in by all sides by the crowd! And yet, she persisted. She pushed forward and grabbed his cloak. Her faith and courage made her well.

The Third Healing Mystery: Jesus Cures What The Disciples Could Not (Matthew 17: 14-20)

When they came to the crowd, a man came to him, knelt before him, and said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he has epilepsy and suffers terribly; he often falls into the fire and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, but they could not cure him.” Jesus answered, “You faithless and perverse generation, how much longer must I be with you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him here to me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was cured from that moment. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.

There are many different words used to describe the man's son between translations of Matt 17. Two that you may be most familiar with are a 'demon' and 'epilepsy'. Let's not confuse or conflate the two; serious medical conditions are not demons, and an epileptic child is not in need of an exorcism. Regardless, the point of this passage stands: Christ's disciples could not heal the boy, and Jesus could. "Why?" the disciples ask. "You've sent us out already, given us permission to do good in your name. Why not us?" And God answers: faith. A mustard plant is not a pretty plant. It is not easy to control. A small, unassuming seed explodes outward into a plant that devours the farm land in its path. We are called to be the same as this tiny mustard seed. We must explode out, reaching and grabbing and pulling the good in the world, making it greater, and gifting it to God. When we have faith, we too can heal.

The Fourth Healing Mystery: The Healing of the Unclean Spirit (Mark 1: 21-28)

They went to Capernaum, and when the Sabbath came, he entered the synagogue and taught. They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority and not as the scribes. Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be quiet and come out of him!” And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him. They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, “What is this? A new teaching—with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.” At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee.

It is tempting to focus on the declaring by a demon of Jesus as the Holy One of God on this mystery, but I choose to instead focus on the matter of an unclear spirit. What makes one 'unclean'? That answer is different from person to person, priest to priest, church to church and denomination to denomination. To me, that is an answer that can be given to you only through sitting with and asking God. For me, I ask where have I fallen short. Have I lashed out with anger to a friend? Have I hated someone without a care? Have I turned up my nose to one in need? Have I thought myself above others? Above God? Regardless of what the answers to the questions are, or what you may consider unclean, Jesus stands by us. He came to liberate, both society and ourselves, that we be slaves to hatred, anger, indifference, and pain no more. He heals us, and in doing so, we are called to heal each other.

The Fifth Healing Mystery: Jesus heals the Earth (John 21: 3-14)

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach, but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he had taken it off, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them, and though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.

We have reached the final mystery! In it, the disciples fish, filled with pain after the state-sactioned murder of their Lord. We live in a word torn asunder. Pain and suffering, war and genocide, fractured communities, and a large divide between those who have and have not fill our beautiful green marble, and we work diligently to kill this planet each day. Yet, the Lord promises us prosperity and healing. He heals the outcast, the courageous, the faithless, and the unclean-- and, in this world so full of suffering, he heals the ground beneath our feet and headlines in our newspapers. Peter, John, and the disciples saw their Lord after death, and he provided for them through a miracle all the sea had to offer. Likewise, he provides for us and our beautiful world. Through Christ, all things are possible, including the healing of this cracking, but never broken, world.

[hannahssimblr]

Astrid, 

Hope you got my postcard from Phuket, and that the Bangkok one shows up, eventually. Maybe it is actually lost, like maybe I’m doing something wrong at the post office. It’s fine if they all go into the abyss. I am writing just to write, because it feels romantic or whatever. You probably hate the idea of this. I could just text you. I texted you forty-five minutes ago. Still miss you. 

We’re in Phi Phi now. Islands, very beautiful. I bet you already know about them, but I’d never heard about this place before I came here. The landscape is kind of mental, like giants made it. Weird to look at. We went out on a little boat yesterday to see the sights. Jonas jumped off and swam, and I did not. My tattoo is still healing. Stupid fucking thing. I waved over a boat of girls and told them Jonas was saying he fancied them, and then he got annoyed with me, because he wasn’t saying that, and he was embarrassed. I think he should learn to talk to women without wanting to die, and he says I think about women too much, that I’m too invested and I should think about something else. History, philosophy, whatever. Why would I when there are women like you on the earth?

At night, instead of going out and drinking, we go to bed early, in our bunks, him on the top, me below like always, and he tells me all this shit about the Suez canal, or what the Falklands war was all about, since I was stupid enough to ask a follow up question once. Then I fall asleep to escape the boredom. We get up at six and do activities, then. Lots of walking. My body hurts. 

Jonas finally tried those scorpions he was banging on about, and now he’s sick, btw. Food poisoning. I don’t really know how to take care of him, except coming back to the hostel every few hours, making sure he has water. Until he’s better, I guess I’m just wandering around on my own. Luckily, it’s nice to look at. Maybe today I’ll swim with my arm out of the water. Running out of space. Love and miss you can't wait to see you.

xxx Jude. 

I snap open the lid of a bottle of water and carry it into the hostel room. It smells bad there, but I’ve stopped saying it, because it makes Jonas look like he’s about to cry. He’s curled up on his bunk, a complexion like curdled yoghurt, as a chink of morning light spills through the blinds and over his shivering body. Mostly naked. Too hot, then too cold, then sipping water, then throwing it up. I hover in the doorway. 

“I’ve water,” I say, and he just stares. Resigned, half-dead, maybe. “Should you go to hospital or something, do you think?”

“No, I feel slightly better.”

“Oh, okay. Do you want the water, or?”

“Yes. Bring it to me.”

I approach him like a leper, not sure why, as I’m fully aware he’s not contagious, but it’s been ten days since I’ve thrown up, and I’d like to maintain my healthy aura. He regards me with bleary eyes as I back away. “It is good you are an artist and not a nurse.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not so good with illness.”

“Even though you are always ill.” A tentative sip from the bottle. “You went out this morning?”

“To the post office.”

“Another postcard to Astrid.”

“Yes.”

I can tell he wants to laugh but lacks strength, managing only a feeble wheeze. “Is she missing you as much as you are missing her?”

“No, I don’t think so. She’s much better at distance.”

“She’s an independent person.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me what she is doing today.”

“It’s Wednesday, so probably going to reformer pilates. Then she’s supposed to meet a friend from university for lunch. After that, I don’t know. Something spontaneous and thrilling, probably.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

He manages a watery smile. “You’ll be doing nothing again today? Missing her?”

“I was thinking I might wade into the sea, actually. Keep walking out until I disappear, wailing after Astrid like the pathetic little freak I am.”

“It’s Wednesday?”

“Yes, Wednesday.”

“I signed up for something today.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be going, by the cut of you.”

“No,” giving up on the water for now, he rolls onto his back, watching insects congregate around the plastic light fixture. “You could go in my place. It’s a… meditation thing.”

I pull a face. “Meditation? That thing where you sit cross-legged and go like ‘om’?” I demonstrate, but feel bad for making him laugh. Apparently a bit painful for him. 

“Yes,” he says. “Kind of. You might find value in it.”

“Is that the kind of guy you think I am? With like, dirty feet and harem pants?”

“Since I am the one who signed up, is it the kind of person you think I am?”

“Not far off.”

“Well, meditation has many benefits. It’s not just for the dirty-feet-squad. It’s good for people who suffer with various mental health concerns, and people who have racing thoughts they cannot stop and such things. Maybe it will inspire you to stop thinking about women’s breasts.”

I scoff. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

“So you can think of more productive things that will inform you, and grow your mind rather than rotting it away.”

“Like the Falklands war, for instance.”

“Yes, like the Falklands war,” he says, suddenly animated. “Thank you for saying that. Or the targeting of Libyan migrant workers on suspicion of being mercenaries by—”

I take a brisk and decisive step out of the room. “Well! Glad you’re feeling better, Jonas. See you later. Keep drinking that water, et cetera.” I swing the door shut and amble away, down the hostel hallway and back to the beach, rearing for another day of nothing, bored senseless by the edge of a lonely ocean.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[nerdygaymormon]

Physical/Mental Healing vs Spiritual Healing

Two years ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and I began meeting with mental health professionals. I learned lot over these past two years. I have learned to appreciate that my mind and body used this disordered eating as a way to survive and they did their job, they brought me to the present where I could get help. These behaviors no longer serve me and there’s better ways to cope, and I’m thankful for the people who assisted me.

This past November, my team determined that I’ve conquered this, but like weeds, it may try to grow again but now I have the tools to deal with it.

This isn’t the only mental health issue I’ve dealt with, I have seen therapists to help me with several issues.

Sometimes people will say that I don’t need to see a mental health professional, that if I had enough faith, I can be healed through the Atonement. It’s an interesting perspective but it doesn’t match my experience.

In the April 2025 General Conference,President Camille Johnson, who is the Relief Society General President, recounted the story of the 10 lepers who followed Christ’s directions and were healed, but only one returned to the Savior to express gratitude. Jesus responded to this leper, “Thy faith hath made thee whole.” I always thought that meant his faith is what healed his leprosy, but President Johnson said that while ten lepers were physically healed, only one was made spiritually whole. I understand this to mean healing the things which hurt us spiritually or which separate us from God.

Someone can be spiritually whole and yet not physically healed. In time, maybe not until the resurrection, the Master Healer will heal all our afflictions—physical and mental—but we can become spiritually whole while we wait for that time.

Let me share what Alma preached in the Book of Mormon about this. Alma 7:11 says: “And [Jesus] shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.”

In verse 12 it says : “and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy,…that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

Succor, spelled s-u-c-c-o-r, means “assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.”

Jesus experienced all kinds of pains and afflictions and infirmities so that he would know how to assist and support us in our times of hardship and distress.

President Johnson said that the “Atonement also reaches our griefs and sorrows. But He may not provide healing from illness and disease—chronic pain, autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis, cancer, anxiety, depression, and the like.” While some may experience a miraculous healing, many of these will have to wait. We can make life better now by seeing professionals who apply the latest knowledge and medicine to ease our suffering and treat these conditions. But they don’t spiritually heal us.

“The Apostle Paul had some kind of affliction—what he described as a ‘thorn in the flesh,’ which three times he had asked the Lord to remove.” Paul was not healed of his affliction, but he was spiritually whole in Christ. Even with his physical weakness, the strength of Jesus Christ shone through him.

“Those who wrestle with mortal struggles and turn to God in faith like Paul can receive the blessings of becoming acquainted with God.”

I was once in a group class where we were asked to write words that describe the Jesus we know. I wrote adjectives describing his personality and describing how he’s interacted with me, including: supportive, powerful, gentle, loving, and compassionate." Most people simply wrote titles like, “son of god, savior, redeemer.” While that’s accurate, do they know him? Perhaps my mental health challenges and turning to him for his support and strength helped me get to know Jesus in a more personal way.

It’s interesting to think about Mary Magdelene’s experience being the first to witness the resurrected Jesus. In John 20:15 it reads, “Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.”

When Jesus was resurrected, Mary found Him but did not recognize Him, she assumed He was the gardener. What does a gardener do? What was Jesus doing that caused Mary to assume He is the gardener? Was He tending the plants & trees?

Jesus is our gardener. Jesus is here to nourish and strengthen us, to succor us. A gardener provides conditions for growth. The growing season for all of us is different, but the gardener tends to each of us. Sometimes a gardener has to cut back a bush or saw off a branch, which inflicts physical harm on a plant, in order to help strengthen it and shape it so it can be its best. The gardener works with each of us and all the circumstances to let us grow in strength.

Jesus knows our needs and knows how to tend to us and the conditions that let our full colors bloom, but do we know the gardener?

I want to go back to my eating disorder. Jesus didn’t heal me, instead Jesus assisted and supported me. I received an unexpected invitation to write a chapter for a book. While doing so, I was listing different mental health challenges I've experienced and I realized that some of the feelings I had around behaviors I did as part of social anxiety are the same feelings I have around some eating behaviors. At the bottom of my list of mental health challenges, I wrote, "And I might possibly have an eating disorder." And that was it, I submitted the chapter and carried on with my life.

Months later, someone in my stake purchased that book and read my chapter. They then shared what I wrote with a mutual friend who is a registered dietician who specializes in eating disorders. One day she pulled me aside and mentioned what I’d written and asked why I thought I might have an eating disorder. She then confirmed those are classic eating disorder behaviors and she talked with me about how to go about getting diagnosed so I can get help. During these past two years, she was an important member of my team. Jesus didn’t heal me, instead Jesus assisted and supported. And during this healing journey, I knew I could share with Christ how hard it was, and the frustrations and the challenges, and that Christ would understand and help comfort me.

We all will encounter physical and/or mental health challenges in life, and they’re an opportunity to become more spiritually whole.

[sashaisready]

Chapter Seventeen - We’re going on a little ride

Bucky Barnes Mob AU x Femme Reader

You're hard at work in Pepper's Bakery when notorious mob boss James 'Bucky' Barnes darkens your doorway one typical afternoon, and life is never the same again

18+ - see Masterlist for full list of warnings

Chapter 18

Series Masterlist

You saw the engine start up to leave and you broke into a sprint as you shot across the street before they could pull away (but made sure to check for traffic this time).

You whipped yourself in front of it, banging on the hood and yelling at the tinted windshield.

“Hey!! Hey! Come out right NOW” you practically screamed. “Get your chicken shit asses out here and talk to me”.

You knew you shouldn’t speak to the terrifying mob goons like that but any worries you had were drowned by your anger, and fear for Peter’s safety. Besides, you knew most of them by now.

The door zipped open and you were surprised to see Bucky of all people step out, flanked by Steve.

He watched you carefully as he emerged. He was in one of his suits but the jacket was gone, his white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His vibranium arm glinted under the light of the street lamp.

“Don’t hit the car like that, Doll. The paintwork is very delicate”.

“Doing your own dirty work for a change, huh?” you spat.

Bucky chuckled as he stepped towards you. “You have a good night, Doll?” he asked, condescension dripping from him.

“Don’t fucking touch him” you spat as you pointed a warning finger at him and then to Steve. “He’s a good man. Don’t drag him into this”.

Bucky shrugged casually, shaking his head as if he had no idea what you were talking about.

“We wouldn’t hurt Mr. Quill, would we Steve?” Bucky said dubiously.

“Of course. Not our good friend, Peter” Steve replied in a monotone.

Your stomach lurched. Of course they had his full name. They probably already had his driving license and tax records on file.

“Bucky, please…” you pleaded.

He watched you attentively as you took a step towards him.

“We both just agreed to be just friends as neither of us felt a connection. Don’t hurt him. There’s nothing there” you explained calmly, trying to sound tougher than you felt.

Bucky smiled thinly. “I’m not a monster, Doll. I don’t just go around hurting people, despite what you may think. But I have to say, this is quite an impassioned defence of someone you’re ‘just friends’ with” he said sardonically, using finger quotes for your words.

Your panic gives way to anger again, his smug smirk a catalyst for your rage. The wine in your bloodstream certainly not helping your rational brain or negotiation skills in the moment.

“Well he is just my friend, alright? Not that I need to justify myself to you of all people...I don’t want him to get hurt because of me. I don’t know what sort of fucked up show you’re running here. I certainly can’t seem to get away from it, but I’ll be damned if I stand by and let innocent people get caught up in it too” you shout, practically spitting with rage.

Bucky sighs. “Doll…”

You raise a hand to silence him.

“No. You wanted to talk? Let’s talk. Steve, you can listen too if you want as James can’t seem to go ten feet without his guard dog. The fact is, I have no idea what your game is. I liked you a lot. Alright? I used to enjoy our little back and forth. Whatever it was. It was fun. And then we fucked and you treated me like a leper, cancelling our date and parading ANOTHER WOMAN in front of me days later at my own fucking workplace. Laughing at me. Watching me get upset and revelling in it. And then you send me eight million balloons and have your goons follow me. And I nearly get hit by a car trying to chase them off. And I meet a new guy. A nice guy who actually liked me who doesn’t treat me like a toy, or a cat playing with a mouse. And I can’t even enjoy that because I’m followed everywhere I go. And I tell you to leave me alone but you ignore me, just dig up information on my date and wait for me outside my house and have the gall to smirk at me like I’m crazy…”

You find yourself short of breath, the venom of your monologue catching you off guard. Your blood turns to ice as the reality of what you’ve said hits you, nervous he’ll lose it at you.

Bucky just stares back at you, unreadable as always. You briefly wonder if you’ve finally pushed him too far and you’re going to end up buried in the cement under a new apartment complex. Your stare snaps to Steve who also just returns your gaze, equally impenetrable. Bucky’s eyes briefly betray a slither of hurt too, and even though everything you’ve said is justified you can’t help but almost feel a pang of longing for him.

Bucky looks you up and down, your words ringing in his ears as guilt begins to overwhelm him.

“I’m sorry” he says forlornly.

You and Steve exchange a look of surprise. Neither of you saw that coming.

“I know I treated you badly after our night together, Doll. It was stupid. I lost my head a bit, thinking you weren’t into me. So I played a game, I thought it was going to be an extension of our banter and I misjudged it. And then I was too stubborn to apologise”.

He sounds quiet and subdued, a far cry from his usual self.

Your mouth falls open in surprise. “Oh…well. Thank-you. I appreciate that” you reply softly.

He approaches you and his hand glides into your hair, his fingers stroking the side of your head as he gazes at you. You find yourself letting him touch you, moving closer to him, entranced by his sea blue eyes as he continues.

“I’m sorry I’ve upset you. I genuinely didn’t mean to. I feel crazy around you, if I’m honest. Like I can’t keep my shit together. And it just feels like every time I try and fix it I just make it worse”.

You soften as you stroke his metal hand, intertwining your fingers with his. Your faces are so close together that you can make out every mole and freckle on his cheek.

“All you had to do was say that” you tell him softly.

Steve takes that cue to disappear back into the car, giving you both some privacy.

Bucky smiles, his flesh hand moving to your chin and caressing it softly.

“I think about our night all the time” he admits.

“Me too...” you admit, your eyes glazed with lust.

“I know I’ve got a lot of making up to do” he tells you, and you smile back at him.

“You really do” you smirk.

His lips crash into yours and you’re momentarily breathless as you allow yourself to be lost in the kiss. Every sensation from the last time comes flooding back as his tongue slips into your mouth and your fingers find their way into his hair. It’s so good. It’s perfect. It’s everything you want.

He pulls away briefly and rests his forehead against yours.

“Quill will be fine” he whispers. “He’s just going to get roughed up a tiny bit. Just to send a message. But he’ll be alright” he says soothingly.

You gasp, unable to comprehend his casual tone with the horror of what he's saying as you place your hands on his chest and shove him firmly away from you.

“What? Why?? He didn’t do anything!” You splutter furiously.

“I just need to be sure he understands that you’re just ‘friends’” he replies calmly. “And that my men see that he’s been dealt with. They know who you are to me. They can’t work for me with respect knowing I let another man take you out”.

You scoff, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of what he’s telling you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you practically scream at him. “I’m not like your fucking car that he scratched. We aren’t even together” you sneer, waving your fingers between the two of you.

Bucky shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Messages need to be sent” he said coolly as his hands moved down to your hips. “Like I said, we’ll go easy on him, you don’t have to worry”.

You gasp in horror as you shake yourself away from his grip. Suddenly all of your rage and upset comes flooding back, the kiss long forgotten.

Every instinct tells you to flee. To get the hell out of there, away from this monster - away from the man who talks about beating people so casually that you’d think he was reciting a lunch order.

But you think of Peter. And he’s the most important person to think about right now so you can’t run. You couldn’t live with yourself if he got hurt. You need to make sure he’s safe. And to do that you need to speak Bucky’s language.

“Listen” you tell him firmly, your eyes blazing. “If anything happens to Peter. Anything at all. I will never speak to or acknowledge you again. And I mean that. I will quit the bakery and move my ass to a different state just to get away from you. You understand me?” you warn him. "Maybe even leave the east coast altogether".

He blinks at you, surprised by your outburst. You take his silence as your cue to continue.

“And I will spend the rest of my days trying to bringing your down. Police. Feds. Anyone. I mean it. I’ll just keep going until I find someone not in your pocket. You hear me?”

Your mouth is dry and you’re trembling but you’ve said it now. You just hope it’s enough, that it sticks.

After a beat of silence which seems to stretch on forever, he replies.

“You done?” Bucky questions, deadpan.

“Almost. Keep the fuck away from me, you fuckin’ sociopath” you snarl.

Bucky laughs. “Always the fiery one, aren’t you Doll? Alright. I won’t touch Quill. I promise. Scout’s honour. And I’ll leave you alone like you want. That’s no problem”.

You nod, surprised he acquiesced and expecting more of a fight.

He takes a step towards you and suddenly his eyes seem darker. You step away from him instinctively.

“But Doll, trust me when I say this…” he says with a quiet intensity which chills you. “If I ever hear that you’re going to the police about me...or the feds...I won’t be half as agreeable as I am right now”.

He cups your chin and squeezes your cheeks together in his metal hand as you feel your legs nearly give way from under you. His grip isn’t hard, but you feel the impact of his threat. He places a small kiss on your lips before releasing you and heading back to the car.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work, Doll” he grins darkly.

The door slams and the car pulls away a second later. You’re left standing alone in the road, distant noises of the city gradually filling your ears as you catch your breath. You briefly fall to your knees, rubbing your fingers across the tarmac of the road in an attempt to ground yourself.

You finally stand again, exhaling. Peter is safe. You are safe. It will all be alright. You can make a new start. He won’t be bothering you now. You’ll be okay.

As you stumble towards your apartment you’re so worked up that you don’t even notice the scurrying footsteps emerging from behind you. Seconds later it all goes dark and you realise to your horror that someone has put a bag or a sack or something made of material over your head. The fibres scratch uncomfortably against your skin.

You try to scream but a firm hand clamps over your mouth and you find yourself pushed along by strong arms. You hear a car door opening as hushed voices chatter. You’re thrown inside a vehicle, crashing against the floor of either a van or a truck as you hear the echo of the engine rumbling beneath you. You try to scramble up onto your knees but someone grabs your hands, a zip tie is sealed around your wrists and suddenly you’re helpless. You desperately try to vault yourself up onto your knees again but a gruff voice you don’t recognise speaks and you stop in your tracks.

“Just stay right there, princess” the stranger tells you. “We’re going on a little ride. And you’re gonna wanna sit tight for it”.

You go to protest but feel something hard and metal pushes into the small of your back. Despite never feeling one before, you know immediately that it’s the barrel of a gun.

Finally you stay still as you feel your fear build, laying on the floor of the vehicle, waiting patiently for your next instruction.

*

Bucky’s head is in his hands as Steve drives them back to the house.

“Just had to double down on Quill, huh?” Steve asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Steve..” Bucky warns.

“Had her in the palm of your hand...after all this time and all that scheming…and you threw it away because you couldn’t resist a beating…”

“Steve…I swear to God…”

“Jussayin’. How can you literally be kissing her one moment and have her threatening to rat you out to the feds on you the next? That’s impressive”.

Bucky ignores Steve and sighs. He’s angry at you, fuming even – especially at your threat to rat him out. Not that you know a lot anyway, he has purposefully kept his world separate from you – but still, you’d been inside his home, you know nearly all of his men by name or at least by face. He was sure you still had at least some of the cash he’d given you, and it was possible a couple of the serial numbers could be linked to a job or two…

You didn’t have enough to take him down, not with his ironclad business fronts and hotshot lawyers – but you potentially had enough to make his life more difficult than he’d like.

But he knew Steve was right. He was so close to winning you round, and he blew it. He saw red when he’d seen you kissing Quill, lost his head for a second. This was how he dealt with things, it’s what he knew. Even if you and Quill had agreed to just be friends like you said, it had sent a barrel of rage through him that someone else had touched you. Had felt your lips against theirs.

Even though he knew it was all his own fault.

[myremnantarmy]

𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐆𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥

Memorial of Saint Frances Xavier Cabrini, Virgin

Lk 17:11-19

As Jesus continued his journey to Jerusalem,

he traveled through Samaria and Galilee.

As he was entering a village, ten lepers met him.

They stood at a distance from him and raised their voice, saying,

“Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!”

And when he saw them, he said,

“Go show yourselves to the priests.”

As they were going they were cleansed.

And one of them, realizing he had been healed,

returned, glorifying God in a loud voice;

and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him.

He was a Samaritan.

Jesus said in reply,

“Ten were cleansed, were they not?

Where are the other nine?

Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?”

Then he said to him, “Stand up and go;

your faith has saved you.”

[joseph4inspiration]

(Luke 17:17-19)

God is always looking at your faith to see if you're trusting Him like you should. These ten lepers who was asking for mercy so they could be healed from that terrible disease, was told by Jesus to go show yourselves to the priests.

Now they could of said to themselves what does that has to do with my healing? But instead of trying to understand why or not moving at all because of doubt, they decided to take the Lord at His word and walk by faith. As a result they received their healing; not because of a touch from the Lord or some great miracle that was visible to many, it was because they had enough faith to take the Lord at His word.

You may be in a situation where you need nothing short of a miracle. In your own strength you're powerless over the situation, all your friends are not around, and you just feel stuck. But the Lord wants you to know that your faith in Him will usher in a miracle for you! Take God at His word and trust Him to take care of you - He will not let you down!

[nottskyler]

President Camille Johnson’s talk

Okay, okay. She framed the ten lepers in a way that revolutionizes my interpretation of it.

Okay, so I always complain that we praise the one leper for coming back and thanking Jesus. We think he is better than the other nine for coming back and saying thanks. BUT Christ told them to go to the temple and be cleansed. The one who came back to say thanks did not finish accomplishing what Christ told him to do.

So basically obeying enough to receive the blessing and acting of our own free will to do something we know to be good even though it violates a direct order is what is required to make us whole. It’s the whole Eve taking the fruit, Joseph not putting Mary away publicly or privately for being pregnant, it’s Nephi killing Laban.

You become whole by doing good even if it goes against what you were taught. Or more that you were brave enough to do the right thing even when it was against the rules. Definitely need to learn how to apply it to more of my life than just being trans. Can’t think of how many times rules and traditions hold me back and how it is best to just do good regardless. (Probably need some therapy too to deal with why I’m afraid of breaking rules and traditions)

[daisyishedwig]

Imma share two scenes from the same fic tody because I wrote them both last night. These are both from when you hold me it holds me together, one is Seblaine focused and the other is the Hevans scene I didn't fully intend to write. First we'll start with the Seblaine scene, since it is a Seblaine fic of course.

“You’re hurt, Bas.”

“I’m fine,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear, giving a sharp nip to the lobe. 

“No you’re not,” Blaine said, gripping Sebastian’s wrist tightly and removing it from his pants. “We have no idea what condition your ribs are in, they’re still hurting you and adding stress to them could make them worse.”

“My ribs don’t affect my ability to give a hand job,” Sebastian said, and edge of petulance slipping into his voice.

“But physical exertion leads to heavy breathing and heavy breathing is bad when you have multiple broken ribs.” Blaine squirmed around so he could face Sebastian, leveling a stern gaze at him.

“Maybe I can’t get off right now, but you still can,” Sebastian argued. “I just want to make you feel good.”

“Why?” Blaine pressed. 

“Do I need a reason for wanting to jerk my boyfriend off? I’d much rather give you a blow job but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Maybe you don’t need a reason, but you certainly have one. Spill it.”

Sebastian’s bottom lip jutted out but he said nothing.

“Sebastian,” Blane hissed.

“What?” he snapped, his chin trembling. “You just… you’re so tense. And angry. And I don’t know how to fix that in anyway other than sex.”

Blaine deflated. “It’s not your job to fix it, Seb.”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t that the exchange? You keep me safe, I make you forget everything for a while. Help you let go so the rest of the world goes away and it’s just us. Let me make it just us,” Sebastian pleaded. 

Blaine kissed him, an attempt to soothe, to distract, but Sebastian pulled away instead of letting Blaine pull him closer. 

“Is it because Kurt’s here?”

And the Hevans scene

Kurt turned towards the stairs to leave, to hide in his bedroom until the weekend was over and he could return to Dalton. But Sam snagged him by the elbow and pulled Kurt into him. Kurt stiffened and tried to squirm away but Sam held firm, cupping the back of his head gently until he caved and buried his face in Sam’s neck. 

Kurt was still unused to affection from men who weren’t Blaine or his father. He’d spent so many years feeling like a leper that noone wanted to touch lest they catch the gay. And sure, the warblers were generally affectionate, but in that strictly boyish way, shoulder punches and side hugs and maybe a congenial arm across his shoulders for a moment. Finn and Puck followed much the same route when it came to touching Kurt.

But something had shifted in Sam after Kurt transferred, and these kinds of hugs were typical, even if they still caught Kurt off guard everytime. Kurt’s fingers gripped the fabric of Sam’s shirt tight as he muffled a quiet sob in his shoulder. Kurt let himself cry in Sam’s arm for a count of ten before he took a steadying breath and pushed away from him. 

Sam was frowning at him as he watched Kurt center himself. “You don’t have to do that,” he said. 

“Sam,” Kurt sighed. 

“You can take the comfort, Kurt.”

“Not now, not with Blaine in the house.”

“He doesn’t care,” Sam argued taking a step forward. Kurt shuffled further away from him. “He’s too distracted by Sebastian to care what’s happening with us–”

“There is no us, Sam. Blaine’s your best friend and my ex, and whatever you think is happening here is certainly not something he can witness.” Kurt rubbed the back of his hand under his nose. “I’m going to bed.”

“Kurt–”

“Don’t,” Kurt said sharply, “don’t follow me.”

And I'll tag everyone I can think of this time since I haven't done this in forever and have no idea who is actively writing anything right now. @calsvoid, @lusthurts, @sperrywink, @annepi-blog, @bitbybitwrites @wowbright, @kurtsascot, @cryscendo, @fallevs, @katyobsesses, @backslashdelta, @leydhawk, @polvmetis, and that's everyone my brain can think of in this moment so I'll also extend an open tag to anyone who wants to share what they've been writing.

[aesolerin]

So, a dd2 class guide (of all things) ended up bringing me to some really fascinating realizations when it comes to how Baldwin and Sarmenti are foils to each other, so of course I can't help but share it with you.

Short Version: Leper and Jester as characters contrast themselves in terms of personalities compared to skills. These seemingly in-built contradictions are the exact opposite of one another, which is likely why they synergize so well from both a narrative and game mechanics perspective. The makes them a duo of complimentarily contrasting contradictory characters. (yeah, try saying that five times fast)

Long Version: As we both know/adore about him, a key feature of Baldwin as a character is his selflessness, this key desire he has to help and serve others, while his own personal happiness instead comes from the simple joys of life. In his backstory he went out of his way to comfort his sick citizens, killed off his advisors to keep his kingdom safe before abdicating, and even now the reason he wants to die fighting is to help others succeed in their goals with all the skills he has available.

It's super interesting, then, to look at what said skills actually do - heal himself, mitigate his own inaccuracy, protect himself from shuffling via immobility - all things prioritizing self-reliance first and foremost. Out of his ten DD2 moves, only two can be said to have some level of 'party support' mixed in - Purge to clear corpses, and Intimidate to weaken enemies (and remove stealth when upgraded). And even they exist first and foremost to mitigate the blindspots in his own fighting style. Altogether, even as this seems to contradict his actual values as a person, it wouldn't be wrong to frame his entire kit as selfish in nature.

To put it another way, Baldwin personally goes out of his way to help others by prioritizing himself first.

Compare this, in turn, to Sarmenti - a character narratively defined by selfishness (eg; his desires, his ignited ambitions, his prolonged suffering, his current suicidal death wish, plus any other impulse or whim he has at any given moment). And yet, his skills are almost entirely support-focused, with even a lot of the damage-dealing ones being less about the damage and more about applying debuffs and combo tokens to the benefit of the team. It's such a selfless prioritization of others that he has barely anything left in his toolkit that focuses on either his own survivability or his damage-dealing capabilities. (His main exception being Finale, which one could still argue is selfless in how it leaves him immediately vulnerable and slow after he's likely nuked an enemy from any possible rank - meaning the ideal is for other people to take advantage of this.)

As such, Sarmenti's selfish desires and goals lead him to greatly prioritizing the group's benefit over himself as an individual.

And it's this nature as foils, this reversal/mirroring of each other's innate contradictory natures, that make Jester and Leper such a complementary duo both in terms of personality and combat synergy.

idk, that's just how I came to look at 'em in my pretentious academic perspective on the ship, lol. you got any thoughts brought up by it??

oh man, this is such a fantastic analysis, i feel like there's nothing more i really need to add! i do have some thoughts though:

looking at this and thinking about it, yeah isn't it just a bit odd that the selfless Leper barely aids his team, and if anything eats up a lot of the resources they put out? man eats combos like he needs them to live because he kinda does. but oh man, if you take care of Leper he will take care of you tenfold. he rewards selflessness with his strength.

i think his skills could also be viewed not as entirely selfish, but as self-reliant. gently turning down Vestal, Occultist, Plague Doctor's, any sort of healing and simply fortifying himself, allowing them to heal someone not as strong as him or attack with their own skills. using Purge to both strike down a foe and clear corpses so someone else doesn't have to nor can their enemies take advantage of it. let him weaken a foe and draw their ire with Intimidate, he has the strength to take it.

and Jester is such a fun contrast to think about, his top-tier supportive skills vs his snarky and biting personality. all that setting up and dancing he does, the grand orchestra he plays, why doesn't he make himself the star? i think he'd insist it's because he's a twig in a clown costume, why should he be drawing the enemy formation's attention? the faster the warm bodies between him and those bastards cut said bastards down, the better. hence, a selfless skillset for selfish reasons. there is probably some element of fun/humor to it, too. man's Silly.

and together, they work perfectly in sync. Jester wants those bastards dead before they hit him, Leper will smite them out of existence if given the opportunity. Jester will give him those opportunities, Leper will strike down their enemies. also they kiss. nature is beautiful.

[shaderu]

The Deepness (writing exercise)

I dug my hands into the deep, cold, wet sand at the shore. There were sharp pebbles in the sand, and my knuckles grated against the coarse gravel, and I felt the sharp pricks of pain in my skin and they sung to me, woke my brain, made livid the little lepers that kept all my files in order.

I scrubbed with the sand, and while I scrubbed I couldn’t look at my hands so I looked out to the orange sea, the cascade of white cloud and brittle sun peeking out shyly from the blooms of white. Lasers come down from on high, screaming insignificant in the scale of the world, held there in the dark mass, the crinkle metal, the squeal of chains as the jackalhead raised the contraption on high and watched my soul sink, sink, sink.

The candelabra on the mountain, the vizier in the mushroom throne. The lake was a portal to a strange place, all deep silty brown, all wicked green algae. It choked and it slaughtered by sitting there, bursting its putrant bile into the aqua where the fish eggs slept, caviar in the womb. Let the heat rain down, let the sweat rise from my dermis into the beast that holds my soul. There is a shadow hanging over me, it has waited there like Damocles’ shaving razor, growing, growing, growing, and now it’s out and I can commit to the sin. I can live in the lake and breathe deep the water. The lake is blood and iron. The water is coolant, and I am the nuclear blender, and to prevent my bones from sloughing into slop and sludge I dip myself into the cool damp places of the earth, where the caves run miles deep and the climbers and the swimmers, heroes and questers and knights, all go to drown in the place where all things drown.

I’ve sworn myself to the Lake. And it’s not so difficult, and it’s not so cheap as a hotdog from the cart, rolled for ten hours, ignored and abhorred. There are men and there are monsters and the monsters, indeed, are men and that makes it worse. What irritates me are the little creatures, the other souls, who would look upon me and see not the man but the lake, the interminable deepness, the wild wild world where the sand is wet and cool and draws blood from your knuckles, so much blood, blood dripping squealing, muscles pulsing, neck contorting, and so much blood from the knuckles you’d swear upon your mother’s life that it wasn’t all mine.

But it was.

[anastpaul]

One Minute Reflection – 18 August – “The Month of the Immaculate Heart of Mary” – Pentecost XIII –Within the Octave of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin – Galatians 3:16-22; Luke 17:11-19 – Scripture search here: https://www.drbo.org/ “Where are the other nine?” – Luke 17:17 REFLECTION – “In our own day we see many people at prayer but, unfortunately, we see none of them turning back to give thanks to God … “Ten were cleansed, were they not? Where are the other nine?” As I think you will remember, it was in these words that our Saviour complained about the lack of gratitude of the other nine lepers. We read that they knew well how to make “supplications, prayers, petitions” since they lifted up their voices, crying out: “Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!” But they lacked the fourth thing required by the Apostle Paul: “thanksgiving” (1Tm 2:1) for they did not turn back nor give thanks to God. We see still more in our own day ,people who implore God for what they lack but a mere handful who seem to be grateful for the blessings they have received. There is no harm in imploring Him but what causes God not to grant our prayers, is His finding us lacking in gratitude. After all, perhaps it is even an act of mercy on His part, to hold back from the ungrateful, what they are asking for, so that they may not be judged all the more rigorously, on account of their ingratitude! … For, it is sometimes out of mercy that God holds back His mercy! …

(via One Minute Reflection – 18 August – “Where are the other nine?” – Luke 17:17 – AnaStpaul)

[godslove]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

The spiritual gift of healing found in 1 Corinthians 12:9 is actually in plural form in Greek. Charismata iamaton is literally translated “gifts of healings.” This spiritual gift is closely related to the gifts of faith and miracles. All spiritual gifts are to be exercised in faith, but gifts of healings involve a special measure of it. This gift is interesting in that there is no guarantee that a person will always be able to heal anyone he or she desires. It is subject to the sovereign will of God, as all spiritual gifts are.

The Disciples were given authority to heal and cast out demons, but they were not always successful. The Apostle Paul was not able to heal himself and was told that God’s grace was sufficient to carry him through his infirmity without removing it from him.

‭And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸ Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

—2 Corinthians 12:7-10

This gift is given at various times and places to reveal the God of heaven to the sick and tormented. If healing is not granted, then we can conclude that God has greater plans for letting the person go through the illness or infirmity.

The spiritual gift of healing is an intimate one as it reveals the heart and compassion of God. Jesus is the Great Healer and Physician and during His ministry on earth, He healed countless people and cast out demons.

“And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. ²⁴ Then His fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all sick people who were afflicted with various diseases and torments, and those who were demon-possessed, epileptics, and paralytics; and He healed them.”

—Matthew 4:23-24

‭“When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick”

—Matthew 8:16

‭“Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.”

—Matthew 9:35

“Then He healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and He did not allow the demons to speak, because they knew Him.”

—Mark 1:34

Healings reveal that God is near to His people and He cares about their sufferings. Healings are meant to draw people to God through His Son Jesus Christ. God wants those healed to respond in faith with thanksgiving and love as the leper did in:

And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, ¹⁶ and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. ¹⁷ So Jesus answered and said, “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? ¹⁸ Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” ¹⁹And He said to him, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.”

—Luke 17:15-19

and as the demon-possessed man did in:

And when He got into the boat, he who had been demon-possessed begged Him that he might be with Him. ¹⁹ However, Jesus did not permit him, but said to him, “Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.” ²⁰ And he departed and began to proclaim in Decapolis all that Jesus had done for him; and all marveled.

—Mark 5:18-20

By God’s grace, physical healing should lead to spiritual healing (faith in Jesus) and eternal life with Him in heaven.

Those who have this gift are compassionate toward the sick and pray over them regularly. They have great faith and trust that God can and will heal some, and are not deterred when He chooses not to. They are motivated knowing that God’s revealed power will draw people to faith in Jesus. Their ultimate concern is the spiritual well-being of those being healed and their relationship with Jesus. They yearn for the day that there will be no more pain and suffering, and sin will no longer wreak havoc on the people of God.

“to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit,”

—1 Corinthians 12:9

“And God has appointed these in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, varieties of tongues.”

—1 Corinthians 12:28

“Do all have gifts of healings? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret?”

—1 Corinthians 12:30

“‭Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

—James 5:13-16

[radical-revolution]

BEING LOVE

The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it’s in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I’m caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.

I’m not interested in being a “lover.” I’m interested in only being love. In our culture we think of love as a relational thing: “I love you” and “you are my lover.” But while the ego is built around relationship, the soul is not. It wants only to be love. It’s a true joy, for example, to turn someone whom you didn’t initially like into the Beloved. One way I practice doing so is by placing a photograph of a politician with whom I intensely disagree on my puja table – my altar. Each morning when I wake up, I say good morning to the Buddha, to my guru, and to the other holy beings there. But I find that it’s with a different spirit that I say, “Hello Mr. Politician.” I know it sounds like a funny thing to do, but it reminds me of how far I have to go to see the Beloved in everybody. Mother Teresa has described this as “seeing Christ in all his distressing disguises.” When I realized that Mother Teresa was actually involved in an intimate love affair with each and every one of the poor and the lepers she was picking up from the gutters in India, I thought to myself, “ That’s the way to play the game of love.” And that is what I have been training myself for the last past quarter century: to see and be with the Beloved everywhere.

One of the interesting aspects of seeing the Beloved in this way is that it doesn’t require the other person to see him – or herself as the Beloved. All that’s necessary is that I focus on my own consciousness properly. It’s interesting to notice, though, how warmly people respond to being seen as the Beloved, even if they don’t know what’s happening. (Of course, it all assumes that all your feelings are genuine and that you aren’t compelled to act on them or to lay any sort of trip on the other person. The idea is simply to live and breathe among the Beloved.

The way I work at seeing others (like the politician), as the beloved is to remind myself, “This is another soul, just like me, who has taken a complicated incarnation, just as I have. I don’t want to be in this incarnation any more than he wants to be in mine. But since I want to rest in my soul and not in my ego, I would like to give everybody the opportunity to do the same.”

If I can see the soul that happens to have incarnated into a person that I don’t care for, then my consciousness becomes an environment in which he or she is free to come up from air if he or she wants to. That person can do so because I’m not trying to keep him or her locked into being the person that he or she has become. It’s liberating to resist another person politically, yet still see him or her as another soul. That’s what Krishna meant when he said, “I’m not going to fight, because they are all my cousins on the side.” We may disagree with one another in our current incarnation, but we are all souls.

A story I have told many times reinforces this point. Some years ago I put out a set of records called Love, Serve, Remember. The records – which had music, readings from the Gospel of John, and all kinds of neat things – came in an album with a beautiful booklet with text and pictures. It was a wonderful package, and we sold we sold it by mail order for about $4.50.

I showed the album to my father. Dad was a wealthy Boston Lawyer – a conservative Republican, a capitalist, and, at the time, the President of a railroad. He looked over the album and said, “Great job here! But, gee, you know – four and a half dollars? You could probably sell this for ten dollars – fifteen dollars, even!”

I said, “Yeah, I know”

“Would fewer people buy in if it were more expensive?,” he asked.

“No,” I relied. “Probably the same number would buy it”

“Well I don’t understand you,” he pressed on. “You would sell it for ten, and your selling it for four- fifty? What’s wrong, are you against capitalism or something?”

I tried to figure out how to explain to him how our approaches are differed. I said, “Dad didn’t you just try a law case for Uncle Henry?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “ and it was a damned tough case. I spent a lot of time in the law library.”

I asked, “Did you win the case?” And he answered, “Yeah, I won it.”

Now, my father was a very successful attorney, and he charged fees that were commensurate with his reputation. So I continued. “Well, I bet you charged him a hand and a leg for that one.”

Dad was indignant at the suggestion. “What, are you out of your mind? That’s uncle Henry – I couldn’t charge him.”

“Well, that’s my problem,” I said. “If you find anyone who isn’t Uncle Henry, I’ll rip them off.”

The point I was trying to make is that when you see the Beloved all around you, everyone is family and everywhere is love. When I allow myself to really see the beauty of another being, to see the inherent beauty of soul manifesting itself, I feel the quality of love in that beings presence. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. We could be talking about our cats because we happen to be picking out cat food in the supermarket, or we simply could be passing each other on the sidewalk. When we are being love, we extend outward an environment that allows people to act in different, more loving and peaceful ways than they are used in behaving. Not only does it allow them to be more loving, it encourages them to be so.

In 1969 I was giving a series of lectures in New York City. Every night, taking the bus up Third Avenue, I got the same extraordinary bus driver. Every night it was rush hour in one of the busiest cities in the world, but we had a warm word and a caring presence for each person who got on the bus. He drove us as if he were sculling a boat down a river, flowing through the traffic rather than resisting it. Everyone who got on the bus was less likely to kick the dog that evening or to be otherwise hostile and unloving, because of the loving space that driver had created. Yet all he was doing was driving the bus. He wasn’t a therapist or a great spiritual teacher. He was simply being love.

Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we are so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is a supreme creative act.

– Ram Dass

[joseph4inspiration]

(Luke 17:17-19)

God is always looking at your faith to see if you're trusting Him like you should. These ten lepers who was asking for mercy so they could be healed from that terrible disease, was told by Jesus to go show yourselves to the priests.

Now they could of said to themselves what does that has to do with my healing? But instead of trying to understand why or not moving at all because of doubt, they decided to take the Lord at His word and walk by faith. As a result they received their healing; not because of a touch from the Lord or some great miracle that was visible to many, it was because they had enough faith to take the Lord at His word.

You may be in a situation where you need nothing short of a miracle. In your own strength you're powerless over the situation, all your friends are not around, and you just feel stuck. But the Lord wants you to know that your faith in Him will usher in a miracle for you! Take God at His word and trust Him to take care of you - He will not let you down!