#Ted’s shitty podcast

[frmulcahy]

I cant comprehend digital art but we’re getting there I guess

[rabbitsrams]

ted having a little get together and mutual friend!schlatt is there.. you just got through a rough break up, and through word of mouth jay knows how shitty your ex was so he spends the night being so so so sweet to you.

making you laugh until it hurts, telling you you look nice unprovoked multiple times through the night. ted picks up on it, having been on the other end of schlatt’s shy confessions about you after your first introduction!! he ultimately becomes wingman and decides to host even more little hangouts, in hopes of ultimately (but naturally) pushing you two together.

schlatt giving you a ride home from one of them and you drunkenly kissing his cheek in gratitude,, tell me he wouldn’t go home call ted and kick his feet like a little school girl!! - scout 🦷

OHHH SCOUT THIS IS SO GREAT!!!! also it got a little long my bad lol

you had met schlatt at a little get-together that your college friend, ted, was having. schlatt was a bit of a flirt, but backed off when you told him you were taken.

he was still very kind to you, and you even found yourself slightly falling for him. he was sweet, handsome and very tall. (all things your current partner wasn't. at least that's what ted thought.)

a few months have passed. you were newly single and also invited to another get-together hosted by ted. you secretly hoped that schlatt would be there, even though you knew he lived in texas. who knows? maybe he was in la for another trip.

and right you were, because as soon as you entered your friend's apartment, there he was.

"hey! j, right?" you say.

"yeah! nice to see you again!" schlatt holds his hand out for you to shake. at the same time, you lean in for a hug.

"oh, sorry." you giggle, sheepishly taking his hand into yours and shaking.

"you're good, don't worry," schlatt says. "so, um, d'ya want a drink?"

"PLEASE. i really need it." schlatt leads you to the drink area in the kitchen, handing you a hard lemonade while he snags a beer.

schlatt is aware of the breakup, having been told by ted. you mentioned in the past how your ex treated you, passing it off as normal when it was the complete opposite. however tonight wasn't about them, tonight was about you.

"so, uh, how's what's their name?" schlatt asks, pretending that he didn't know of the breakup.

"who?"

"your, uh-"

"oh, my significant other? we actually, um, broke up." you look away, downing half the lemonade.

"oh. i'm sorry 'bout that."

"it's okay. honestly, they were kind of an asshole. in a way i'm glad it's all over." schlatt nods, placing a hand on your shoulder. you look up at him, giving him a sad smile.

"let's forget about that dick, we're here to party." schlatt says, putting an arm around you. you nod, smiling as you down the rest of your drink.

you say your hellos to ted and his other friends as you go around the apartment with schlatt. you two decide to hang out on the couch slightly away from everyone else. and you like it better that way because you're able to talk to schlatt with minimal interruptions.

you don't remember the last time you laughed this hard. he's naturally witty, even the smallest things he says make you giggle. he has such a way with words that even makes you swoon a bit.

"did i tell you how good you look right now?"

"you did, a few times. and thank you, you look good too."

you and schlatt slowly and unconsciously move closer together as the night goes on, with him throwing his arm around you while you lean on him as you're laughing.

all while you're spending time with schlatt, ted is watching you guys. he is very aware of how schlatt feels about you. he would always ask ted how you were doing whenever they would get on call to record the podcast. if ted ever posted a story with you he'd stare at it a little too long because you were so pretty. hell, even on the night you met, he kept ted up for an extra hour purely gushing over you.

he sees that you're smiling a lot more than you have been ever since the breakup. he knew that you liked schlatt and noticed how you looked at him when you met. there was definitely something there between you two.

"i'm gonna get another beer, want anything?" schlatt asks.

"just some water, thanks."

schlatt nods, standing from his spot and moving to the drink area. as he searches for a water bottle, ted comes up behind him.

"jesus christ, man, you scared the shit out of me!" schlatt grumbles, smacking ted on the arm.

"you know, this is the happiest i've seen y/n since the breakup." ted says, handing schlatt a can of beer.

"really?"

"yeah. they really like you. and i know how much you like them." ted wiggles his eyebrows, earning an eye roll and another smack from schlatt.

"shut up dude, i'm just tryin' to make 'em smile. they deserve it."

"i know, i know."

and from that point on, ted was going to try and get you two together. schlatt was in la for another week and ted knew he had a limited time to work his magic.

you were over ted's place every night since the party. what started out as a smaller gathering with you, schlatt and a few of your shared la friends turned into just the three of you.

and you loved hanging out with them. you were happy to have more time to hang out with schlatt and get to know him better. there was something about him that drew you to him, ever since you met for the first time months ago. and now that you were able to finally sit down and talk to him properly, you could properly assess your feelings for him.

and of course schlatt's feelings for you increased the more he hung out with you. you were just so amazing and fascinating and beautiful, how could he not catch feelings?

on the last night and last gathering before schlatt's flight back to texas, you went out to eat with the boys. you drank one too many margaritas which had you giggly and clingy, particularly toward schlatt.

he offered to drive you home after dinner, mostly to make sure nothing bad happened while you were drunk. ted happily obliged, letting schlatt use his truck while he ubered back to his place.

"johnnyyy... you're so kind. so sweet for taking me homeeee..." you slur, lightly tapping him on the shoulder.

"of course. need to make sure you're okay."

you giggle, thanking him. there was something about your drunken laughter that had schlatt absolutely swooning. you were so cute.

he helped you out of the car and up the stairs to your apartment. you try to take your keys out of your purse but drop them, the loud clang of the metal shocking you. "oh fuck."

"here, i gotcha." schlatt bends down to pick the keys up. you gasp loudly when the keys land in your hands.

"thank you! thank you so much! you got my keys! you got my keys!" you lean in to kiss him on the cheek.

he's absolutely star-struck at that, not even realizing that the door to your apartment opened and one of your roommates was standing there.

"thanks for bringing them home, i'll take it from here." they say. they help walk you inside the apartment before shutting the door.

"yeah, no problem..." schlatt goes down the stairs with an extra pep in his step, and once he's safe inside the car, he lets out an actual squeal.

"ted. they kissed me. they KISSED ME!"

[lean-mean-demon-genevieve]

A message to Glove/Jennifer/G-love/wife of the former co-star of Supernatural:

No. F*ck you. Absolutely not. Do not even try to pretend you give a shit when women have literally been fighting for a right to control their body and their very lives for years, and you want to post, now and pretend you care? When you have the money and platform to have been doing something for all of this time? It’s fucking insulting and disgraceful that you want to co-opt the positive energy, while trying to minimize risk by posting so close to the election. All while living in (and enjoying the tax breaks of) a state with one of, if not the strictest abortion bans? A red state that has real potential to get some Democratic representation in the senate if people get out and vote?

I know you’re a shitty actress, but if you’re trying to act like someone who cares about the lives and wellbeing of people who aren’t rich, you know how important every vote is. So you think waiting until the day after early voting ends to share this is convincing acting? Sit down, shut-up, and if you have any semblance of shame or decency, then actually help by -I don’t know- maybe sharing the name of a candidate who is fighting to improve Texas? Like Texas Representative Colin Allred? You know, the man in a neck and neck battle to replace Ted Cruz? Since you “care” so much don’t you think Texans deserve a Senator who doesn’t jet off to Cancun while we (non married to rich actor people) are freezing in the dark?

TLDR: Possibly some of the most insulting, pathetic acting of Glove’s career. Doesn’t even care enough to say that people in her own state we deserve a candidate for senate who cares more about the jobs, health care, and education of Texans (https://colinallred.com) than hosting a podcast three times a week (#fledCruz).

Get bent,

A Native Texan 🖕🏼

10/10. Get her.

I’ll just add that I’ve never seen her turn her comments off before. But she did today. Because she’s a coward.

[swiftiefirefighters]

Unpopular, or just unconventional, headcanon about Roy Kent? Any other shows you’re into?

I think my most unpopular opinion is that I don't think he had some deeply traumatic relationship with his parents that seems a bit classist and horrific tbh. Most of the stuff I see about his parents just makes me feel so icky bc it feels like 'bc his parents were poor and maybe had to spend a lot of time working' they didn't care/were terrible/were happy to have one less mouth to feed and it rubs me the wrong way. My headcanon for Roy's childhood really is like, I think he loved and spent a lot of time with his grandad/his grandad drove him to Sunderland bc he was older and probably didn't work. It seems like he and his sister are close and I think probably his parents couldn't necessarily take the time off to get him there or go visit - also it's weird to see people saying that they sent him away dramatically to make money for the family as a) for a 9 year old it would have been a HUGE honor for him to get asked to go train with a (at the time) premiere league club - that's very young to get scouted so we know he was *good* and b) he would not have had any kind of professional/paying contract at that time. He probably would have had a family he stayed with up there, as well, from what I've heard of youth leagues from friends who grew up into the sport. I think he loved his grandad but him missing his grandad a lot doesn't mean he didn't have a positive relationship with his parents and I think the assumption that he had a shitty relationship with them always uses a lot of tropes that involve oh poor people are bad parents/parents who spend a lot of time at work to earn money for their family don't care about their kids/aren't interested.

Roy lived his dreams and his parents allowing him (ALLOWING...not sending or forcing) their 9 year old son to go away to the north for months and months at a time in order to play a sport shows that they wanted the best for him. It's clear his sister had big hopes and dreams as well and they clearly also encouraged and supported her, so the assumption that he must have had shitty parents just feels really weird and baseless to me. Roy's got issues but they mostly seem to have more to do with him growing up in sports toxic masculinity bullshit culture than him just having shitty parents. (ted: you just found out your dad is a little racist. roy: my dads from south london and he's in his 60s of course he's a little bit racist reads to me more like someone who has a positive view of his father but also recognizes how he's a bit shit about some things rather than someone who has a really shitty relationship with his dad). Also Roy seems proud and defensive of where he came from. IDK. I guess I do have a lot of opinions about Roy headcanons lmao.

As for other shows, Doctor Who maybe???? I don't watch a lot. I mostly listen to podcasts.

[katieboo13]

To the podcast hosting assholes who continue to shit talk Logan Sargeant— as disrespectfully as possible—shut up.

Don’t say all Americans hate him. You don’t speak for everyone.

Please recognize that even if he finished 20th/DNF’d every race all season he’s still one of the 20 best drivers in the World.

Do you not remember ever being young, under pressure, and new at something? It’s terrifying and difficult. Have some compassion.

Logan’s a kid who went through his super license process faster than he probably should have.

So yeah, maybe he should have taken another year in F2 just to get more comfortable, but he made it to F1 regardless.

Also,

Listen here you ignorant fucks.

He’s a human. He has emotions. He can see what you say.

Shut. The. Hell. Up. With. Your. Shitty. Opinions.

Go find someone else to pick on.

Or better yet

Find something to do with your lives that isn’t bullying a 22 year old who is under a kind of pressure you’ve never known.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[heinziderheld]

Bro…stay in your lane and stop lecturing people who are calling out blatant cheaters and liars with unbelievable timelines. If trAsh and SB didn’t want all this hate, then maybe they should have thought thru their actions a little bit better, no? They did almost everything completely wrong, and now are upset with the reaction? Please. Had they had just a shred of decency, much of the negative opinions would have been avoided. But see, turns out fans (who have been completely used for financial gain) don’t approve of families with YOUNG kids getting torn apart. They deserve every bit of criticism they are getting.

Alright, BRO, let’s talk about it.

First of all, I wrote a simple and respectful (to anybody, not only Ash & Ali) post about media competency while you’ve decided to comment on it with an anonymous question in my inbox. (Thanks for that by the way.) Judging by this, I think we both know who stayed “in their lane” and which one didn’t. If you scroll through my blog or read any of my previous posts about Ali or Ash, you know that I’m not someone who bullies or attacks people on social media, so you could’ve shown your face. Truth is, in my opinion, you cowardly hide behind anonymity because you know that your evil comments about this topic would earn you a lot of criticism yourself and you clearly don’t want that or even a common, friendly exchange.

Secondly, I didn’t “lecture” anybody, I simply called on their fans’ basic, human decency. If this triggered you, then I can only assume that you’re part of the problem yourself. Whenever someone reads my previous post about some common rules / strategies to cope with anger towards public figures (and people in general) and decides to send me an anonymous message spreading hate about individuals they aren’t related to, it’s obvious they’re bullies with toxic behavior.

On Ash and Sophia’s actions: I’m in no position to call either of them or Ali out. Comments, likes, statements and some sort of public interviews / podcasts have given us fans small, insufficient glimpses of what their individual standpoint on the matter might be, but we can’t be the judge of how right or wrong their ideas of the breakup and the aftermath are. We’re not walking in their shoes, we haven’t been there to experience what’s happened between them. We’re only judging from an outside view and therefore should keep disrespectful words out of our mouths / their comment sections.

It’s unclear to me what you’re referring to with “fans who have been completely used for financial gain” and will only say: Fans are exactly that. Yes, Ali and Ash have treated their fans mostly well over their woso careers, took their time to take pictures, sign autographs, etc. - but fans will stay outsiders who buy their merch. This isn’t their fault but is simply how it’s supposed to be.

I agree with you, that criticism is allowed in many shapes and formes with public figures, but calling someone “trAsh” and/or shading their own or their family members’ decisions without knowing anything about it is called bullying, judging, and isn’t anything but toxic and unworthy. Neither Ali nor Ash wanted their little family torn when they settled down and built it. It’s more than a shitty move to hate on them or their kids or wider family in general, because sliding into someone’s asks simply to spread your hate is worse than everything they’ve done so far. Check your own principles and ideals before judging strangers publicly.

To end this on “my road”, which is obviously the high road: HATE IS NEVER CRITICISM!

Thanks again for coming to my TED talk, guys. Have a wonderful evening!

[esotericconsultingdetective]

my forever fixations (changes will be added.)

sitcoms (b99, modern family, bbt, himym, the office, friends, HOUSE MD)

benedict cucumberpatch and martin freeman (sherlock bbc, lord of the rings, the hobbit etc.)

ghosts&vampires&blood&sadists&gore&darkacademia&haunted places (frankenstein, jekyll and hyde)

english schoolgirls in the not creepy way (wild child, enid blyton boarding school books)

Harry Potter

Dead poet’s society

neil gaiman (coraline)

true crime

granada holmes

LOCKWOOD AND CO. MY BABIES

star trek and star wars in no particular order

spock

taylor swift and old washed up rock bands

pheobe effing bridgers

GRACIE ABRAMS est. 2020 (and the 2021 london show which i attended- my first concert 🥹)

kill her, freak out - samia

therese dreaming and maya hawke

art

raft of medusa

travelling

nerdinators

nerf guns

spy kids

peppa pig and ben and holly and gaston and nanny plum

emma chamberlain's fashion choices

the grisly origins of fairy tales

101 dalmations' original cruella deville.

horrid henry, captain underpants and phineas and ferb

LEGOOOO

evermore and folklore

lore by aaron manke

neurosurgery

fashun

crime podcasts

the history of mad hatters

interesting things to research about

indian royalty history

transylvania

Elizabeth Báthory (the blood countess)

agatha christie and miss marple

puzzle solving but i'm terrible at it (i’m awesome, i’m trying to be humble)

a deepening disgust at mortal fascination with each other.

aliens

d&d

mathematics

Lockwood and Co.

The sisters grimm

Land of stories

middle grade horror and fantasy books

my instagram threads account

tumblr shitposts

tumblr in general

pjo (ex induced)

scarlet and ivy

THE WELLS AND WONG DETECTIVE SOCIETY (robin stevens ily)

young adult dark fantasy without romance (check point 46)

my goodreads account

ada lovelace

franz kafka, virginia woolf.

my spotify playlists (ethel cain i love u)

joan of arc

rosalind franklin

ted ed videos

witch hunts in scotland and salem.

zoroastrian burials

sherlock and watson

my pinterest

amrita shergill

CRISPR

old disney shows

cricket and india's victory in WC in '83

jhansi ki rani

my childhood tv shows

my yt history

video essays

shane and ryan (watcher or buzzfeed unsolved)

chronically online

jude bellingham

Carlos sainz

a dreaded feeling of separation.

Elsa Schiaparelli

the kelly

monaco

f1

aux en provence

ireland

my artemis fowl phase

harry potter

wales

ryan reynolds and john krasinski

adam sandler movies and similar genres of shitty comedy

cobra kai and the karate kid

superheroes

spiderman variants

bucky and the falcon

charlize theron

vintage watches

conde nast traveller

delhi

benedict cucumberpatch

kristy thompson from the bsc

anne with an e

mr brightside

mitski

podcasts

the sixties, thirties and twentys

maggie smith (downtown abbey and loewe campaigns)

jane birkin

youtube fan edits

stranger things

the irregulars and haunting of hill house

gossip girl (fallacies and legacies)

meryl streep (mammia mia and the devil wears prada)

julie andrews (the sound of music, the princess diaries)

vintage movies

youtube short films and billy joel

the prisoner of azkaban

fred and george weasley and kili and fili

gandalf > dumbledore

margaret - ldr and jack antanoff

alicia and janet (the enid blyton cinematic universe)

sharon tate

my halloween blog 'gore'

arch digest house tours

new york because i'm just a girl

BBC SHERLOCK

Star Trek

the matrix

kill bill, fight club, dr. evil, ocean’s 11

The KJO cinematic universe

Nepo babies

Tim Burton

The Addams Family

Science

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Mathematics x 2

Nerds

Conspiracy theories

Ethical research

female serial killers

elizabeth bathory

my spotify playlists

billy joel - piano man

youtube edits

saltburn

peppa pig & ben and holly

horrid henry

lost childhood animated tv shows

enid blyton boarding school books

british sitcoms (outnumbered)

house md

characters most like me list on charactour/ openpyschometrics.

the 2 IT zoya akhtar movies

special certain bollywood

teams in red - man united, Ferrari and RCB.

Formula 1, Tennis, Football & Cricket

Batman&Alfred (Christopher Nolan version duh!)

Dark Knight’s aesthetic

old marvel and DC movies

Superhero Comics

Richard Feynman

Haunted castles

Halloween and Halloween costumes (the only right answer is switching between batman and darth Vader or my Pinterest board)

LEGO (lotr, Harry Potter, marvel and DC lego)

Batman, iron man, and dr strange

ford v ferrari

shang chi

fight club and kill bill

Zack and Cody and phineas and ferb captain underpants

Karate kid and kung fu panda

karen from outnumbered

philomena cunk

Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel being a nerd and super awesome with pit overtakes, Brocedes + 2019 rookies and Maxiel

2012 grid

2023 george russel t pose

twitch quartet

Good food and masterchef australia

LUCA

black swan

Cool nepo babies (case in point romy mars (director of the tiktok vodka pasta video & Gracie frikking abrams ily)

F2 and f3

Horror movies

SHITTY COMEDYYY movie genre I.e. the hangover, grown ups, etc.

How to train your dragon (i had a dragon dinosaur phase so this is justified)

Lego ninjago

michelle mouton

derry girls

being an absolute effing genius

academia

saltburn aesthetic

letterboxd

Horror movies

Old marvel but deadpool revival

Minions

Breakfast at tiffany’s

Old movies (arsenic and old lace, wizard of oz)

Preminger and old Barbie movies

Old Disney movies (101 dalmations)

Merida and brave and Elsa and frozen

the one dance scene from the sleeping beauty

Movies with julie andrews and audrey hepburn and meryl streep

asha banks' and gracie abrams covering songs

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS + nosferatu

horror movies of all kinds (slashers, paranormal, psychological, all of them.)

Kickass (the movie)

DEAD POET’S SOCIETY

[tinylilemrys]

Lonely In London

Relationship:

Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso

Additional Tags:

Angst and Romance | Romcommunism | Friends to Lovers | Romantic Comedy | Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence

Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Summary:

Henry, worried about how lonely his dad seems to be in London, writes into an advice podcast for some help. A podcast run by an ex-colleague of Trent's – one that he listens to religiously. If Trent falls a little for 'Lonely In London' because he reminds him of Ted, well that's just coincidence. An homage to romcommunism, largely based on 'Sleepless In Seattle' with a few others thrown in for good measure.

Previous Chapter | Final Chapter

CHAPTER 4

Trent is in a car park in front of Heathrow.

He's trying very hard not to think about the fact that he anonymously told the man who he's absolutely gone for that he'll be waiting for him here in just under four months. It's a dizzying thought.

Right now, he's just waiting for Ted who's making sure Henry safely boards his flight back to Kansas.

He probably shouldn't have offered but he knows firsthand how shitty handovers are and Ted was just going to take an Uber otherwise. Better to save him the money and the bother, offer him the lift, comfort him about Henry, and maybe even come to some sort of understanding about where they're at. The month since the kiss has been fraught with tension and it's getting to the point where the team and staff are noticing. They need to get on some kind of page about it at the very least.

A text from Ted breaks his gloomy train of thought.

Henry's through check-in. It's still a while before he flies and I have to stay here until he's airborne. Let's do lunch? Or at least a drink. Don't think my nerves could take a meal right now.

Trent doesn't need telling twice.

It doesn't take him long to spot Ted. He thinks at this point he'd be able to immediately spot him in the densest of crowds, like the world's easiest and most specific Where's Wally. He smiles privately at how if Ted could hear his thoughts, he would insist on only being compared to Where's Waldo.

He's immensely glad that telepathy is beyond Ted's many talents.

"Well as I live and breathe, if it isn't Trent Crimm, future bestseller." Ted's smile is as wide as ever, but it doesn't crinkle the corners of his eyes the way it usually does. He's heartbroken, as Trent fully expected.

"How are you holding up, Ted?" he asks and Ted's smile settles into something far more tired, heartbroken, and real.

"Ah, well, you know," says Ted, his eyes looking rather misty, "it never gets easier."

His thumb is worrying over a keyring – a little LEGO minifigure that Trent suspects might be made to look like Ted. Likely a gift from Henry. Trent wants to throw his arms around him. To just hold him until it hurts a bit less.

He knows he can't. Not after July.

"Shall we get this drink you threatened me with?" says Trent gently and Ted nods, taking a deep breath.

After they're settled at a booth in a chain coffee shop with their respective hot drinks – Ted with an extremely apt Americano, Trent with an equally on-the-nose Earl Grey tea – Trent finds himself clearing his throat.

"So, do you want to talk about how you're feeling about Henry flying back?" he braves. "Or would you prefer anything else?"

"Anything else," says Ted. "Please, anything else. At least for a while."

"Great," says Trent, clenching a serviette for emotional support. "Perhaps then I could apologise for what happened at the Christmas party?"

"Oh, uh, sure?" says Ted, taken aback. "I didn't think we were actually ever going to talk about that again."

"We don't need to after today," says Trent.

Unless you want to, he doesn't add.

"It shouldn't have happened," he continues. "I think I must have accidentally been drinking from Dani's 'cheekied' punchbowl instead of the polite one. In any case, I forgot myself and I fear I've made things awkward between us."

Ted seems to be working through conflicting emotions. The lines between his brows deepen for a moment. His moustache twitches. He stares down at his coffee like it holds his response, then looks up at Trent.

"Not a worry, Bill Murray," says Ted, his face fixing itself into that same sad smile from earlier. "That night was pretty crazy, huh? Lot of emotions running wild. You don't have to apologise for anything. It was me too. I was like a helium balloon out of the hands of a careless child – just caught up in the atmosphere."

It might just be Ted trying to match Trent's lie, but it doesn’t mean it stings any less. Trent takes a sip of too-hot tea to cover his gloom and instead suddenly has to pretend that he hasn't just scalded his mouth.

"But, Trent, I will say this," says Ted in the most serious tone he's ever had directed at him, as Trent tries to play off the way he definitely just took off a layer of skin from his tongue. "I really like talking to you. As much as I think you like talking to me. I would hate for this to be something that gets in the way of that. Think we can at least promise to try our hand at being friends?"

"I think we could manage that," says Trent. He's almost able to ignore the agony he's in at the earnestness in Ted's voice. "After all, you know how I love our chats."

Ted smiles another real smile at that.

"Good, that's settled then." He lifts his drink. "To friendship moving forward."

"To friendship moving forward," Trent agrees, clinking his paper cup against Ted's, tears now forming in his eyes at the pain.

"Now, one friend to another, did you burn your mouth on that cup of Satan's swill just then?" asks Ted, to his credit, looking like he's trying his level best not to laugh. Trent can only nod. "Yeah, thought so. I'll go get you some ice."

It's still one of the better coffees he's ever gotten with someone.

Trent's mouth heals, as do things between Ted and him. Richmond has had an eventful start to the season with the arrival of Zava who even Trent finds himself moderately starstruck by. There's no denying the man is a football god and as a lifelong Richmond supporter, he can't help but be pleased with the string of victories that come with his place on the team. He does, however, note the way that Jamie seems to withdraw into himself and wonders that Ted hasn't seemed to notice. He thinks Roy does, though. Trent has realised that not much Jamie-related gets past Roy.

Ted's head seems to be elsewhere.

He considers it a moment of immense growth in his commitment to friendship with Ted when, at the opening of Sam's restaurant, Ted leaves with Rebecca's friend and he only stews on it for half an hour.

Sassy? Really? The woman Trent berated for making a mistake in turning Ted down is called Sassy?

Deciding jealousy isn't a good look on him, he decides to go home, and has all thoughts of Ted's romantic exploits pushed from his mind by the sight of Colin kissing someone outside of Sam's restaurant. Not just someone, though. A man.

Now there's a scoop. A scoop Trent would never share, not even in his days as a journalist. Hell, if the fucking Wonder Kid hadn't lost him his job, this would be the next thing that would. He would never out anyone. It was a hard line he'd drawn himself early in his career. After what he saw happen to Justin Fashanu growing up, he simply wouldn't do it. He wouldn't be part of that. 

The idea of that happening to someone from Richmond, this group of people he's come to think of as family, is unthinkable. He hopes and prays he gets a chance to talk to Colin before something happens and the secret gets out. Colin wasn't exactly subtle with his choice of makeout spot.

He thanks the gay gods of football when he gets his chance in Amsterdam.

At first, there's part of him that really wants to find out what Ted's plans are for the evening. It's Museumnacht, of all nights, and all he wants to do is stay out late exploring every single one with Ted, who he imagines would be a great companion on a museum trip. Sure, he'd likely make a joke about every single painting, but Trent knows he would be genuinely curious about them too.

It really would be too much like a date, however, and so he resigns himself to the fact that the right thing to do is to spend the night seeing what the rest of the team gets up to. He watches, with amusement, the heated debate about what the plan for the evening should be. He even tries to unsuccessfully sell them on the idea of Museumnacht. But so far it seems like they're not going to make it much farther than the lobby of the hotel. It's only when Colin slips away from the rest of the pack that Trent realises what his evening in Amsterdam will be.

There's only one reason he could imagine Colin, usually in the thick of things, would want to separate himself from the pack. He's going somewhere he can be himself. And Trent knows that this is his chance to speak to and encourage him.

He realises, unfortunately too late, that following him to the club might not have been the best option. Colin looks genuinely terrified at seeing him there and Trent can't blame him. He doubts he could ever fully understand the level of paranoia Colin's daily life entails.

When he finally manages to calm the kid down enough to get him to sit down and talk over a couple of beers, the last thing he's expecting is for the conversation to be exactly what he needs to hear too. But Colin turns out to have quite the way with words.

"All I want," Colin explains, eyes filled with longing and wistfulness, "is for when we win a match, to be able to kiss my fella the same way the guys get to kiss their girls."

Trent smiles at that, thinking about a particular fella that he'd like to kiss after a big Richmond win.

"And I know we can't fix every ache inside of us," Colin continues. "But I shouldn't have to pretend it's not there either."

This, more than anything, shakes Trent to his core. His longing for Ted is an ache. One that he doesn't know if it's possible to fix, but he's given himself one Hail Mary in the form of a prearranged grand romantic gesture and by god if this kid hasn't just given him the courage to just go for it.

He could never regret this conversation with Colin, but after a somewhat failed attempt at sharing an historical titbit about Anne Frank, he can't help but wonder what a night in Amsterdam with Ted might have been like after all.

Some of the confidence regarding his new resolve to do the big ill-advised romantic gesture wanes a bit in the week after Amsterdam. Ted is so busy trying to find a team strategy that will work, that Trent is sure the last thing on his mind is his love life.

But then Trent sees it. In their match against Arsenal, he can see the pieces connecting. The team are doing it. They're doing total football. A week ago, they weren't doing anything close to it, but this week, here, at this match, they're doing it. They trust Ted that much that they were willing to try it. And not only try it – actually do it with their whole hearts.

It's the Lasso Effect at its full power. And they're going to fucking win the Premier League. He knows it now.

He has to tell Ted after the match. He can't contain his excitement. Ted's going to do it. He's going to fucking do it. And not because he's an amazing football manager. Not because he's a tactical genius.

No, it's because he's Ted Lasso, and he genuinely cares about what he's doing and the people who are doing it with him.

Christmas Eve, now only a week away, cannot come quickly enough.

***

Ted spends all of August trying to fend off questions about whether or not he's going to meet Isolated in Islington. But he wouldn't trade it for the world, because every time is a reminder that Henry is right there, at arm's reach. With him.

Ted's heart is heavy.

The handover at the end of the summer is the hardest one yet. But it's also somehow one of the better ones because of Trent.

He was nervous when Trent offered them a ride to the airport, but Henry was so excited about the idea and Ted was so worried about being alone afterwards that he agreed. And he's glad he did because it ends up being a great time, all things considered. In any case they manage to patch up things between them, and for Ted, that's monumental. He's willing to pretend that what happened between them was a mistake, as much as it hurts, if it means holding onto Trent as a friend.

Zava turns out to be both as impressive as advertised and a huge disappointment in the long run. It's wonderful to have a winning streak to their name – he knows after the disappointment of the Chelsea game, it's a relief for Rebecca. He can, unfortunately, see that it's getting to Jamie, but there's not much he can do about it. As far as team strategy goes, they've got a good thing going, and he can't shake it up for one player. Not without having to field interrogation from all sides including his fellow coaches, the press, Rebecca, and even Trent.

But then, he starts noticing the rest of his team slipping further and further back. He sees how their victories start paling next to their feeling of boredom out on the pitch. By the time they reach the West Ham game, his team is in dire straits, but Ted can't bring himself to focus enough to deal with it, because at the same time, he's accidentally spoken to Dr Jacob for the first time since his last marriage counselling session.

The West Ham match is a blur to Ted. Only three things stick out in his memory of it:

One, the generally sick feeling that came over him every time he thought about how Dr Jacob used to give him marriage advice, only to swoop in the minute his marriage was over.

Two, the anger he felt at Roy and Beard showing the team the footage of Nate tearing up the sign that's come to mean so much to them. It was the last thing the team needed and it made them play the worst match Ted's ever seen them play.

Three, the feeling of helplessness he felt, both at the way his team was playing, and at the way that this awful, unethical psychologist was now around his son far more than he was. That he was the one giving his son rides to soccer practice and helping him with his math homework.

His call with Michelle after the match offers some catharsis, but is ultimately not that helpful. He's exhausted, drawn, and all he wants to do is go to bed. Just as he's about to, however, he gets a call from Trent.

"Hey, Trent," he says, not really in the mood for any of his usual affectations.

"Hi, Ted," says Trent. "I've just managed to get Squish to bed, so I thought I would call and see how you're doing after the match today. We were watching. It looked brutal."

"Yeah, well, they saw your footage," says Ted, a little more biting than he means to be.

"Oh," says Trent. "Yes, I was wondering why they looked like they were out for blood. That explains it."

"Yeah," says Ted, voice still strained with the effort of not completely losing it. He's so angry and hurt and tired he could explode, but he doesn't want it to be at Trent. "Listen, Trent, I appreciate that you might still be trying to work the journalism out of your system, but the next time you find a big scoop that might affect the mental state of my players, I'd appreciate if you ran it by me first."

There's silence on the other end for a moment before Trent's voice comes back, smaller than Ted's ever heard it.

"I'm so sorry, Ted. I really am. And look, I know this doesn't excuse anything by any means, but by way of explanation, let me just say that I think I was trying to get you to feel as angry about the Nate situation as I am. I just… he cost me my career, you know? I liked being a journalist. It wasn't necessarily what I imagined I'd be doing with the rest of my life, but I was good at it. I was a bloody good sports journalist and all it took was one story for it all to fucking collapse."

"That wasn't entirely Nate's fault," says Ted, closing his eyes as though trying to prevent every thought he's currently having from leaving his head. "You didn't have to share that with me. I mean, I appreciate that you did. But you could direct a little of that anger my way."

Trent sighs deeply.

"You know that I can't."

Ted knows that that might be true. He rubs his eyes with his free hand.

"Look, Trent, I have to believe that people are able to be forgiven. I just have to. Because otherwise, when I get back to Henry, when I have to explain to him why I was out of his life for so long… I have to…"

It's the tipping point. He collapses onto the armchair behind him as huge undignified sobs wrack his body. He hates that he's crying like this. He hates that he's crying like this while Trent can hear it. It doesn't matter. There's nothing he can do to stop it at this point.

"Ted, Ted, listen to me," says Trent. "Your son loves you, okay? Whenever that boy isn't at your side looking up at you like you personally hung the sun, he's telling anyone who will hear that you're the coolest dad in the world. Whatever happens, I know that that child knows how much you love him, okay?"

Ted nods, but realises Trent can't hear him.

"I'm gonna hang up now," Ted says. "But it's not because you aren't making a great point. I just think half the battle is that I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a week and I need to crash. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"See you at work, Ted," says Trent. He sounds concerned.

Ted pulls himself together enough to put together two packs of shortbread, writing a short note in Trent's one.

Trent – thank you for your kindness last night. I needed to hear that. But I hope that you'll eventually find it in your heart to forgive too. It'll help you feel better too.

He ties it all together with a bit of ribbon he has left from his Christmas in July wrapping and the sunflower hair clasp that he still hasn't returned and leaves it on Trent's desk the next morning for when he comes in.

When Trent opens it and reads the note, he turns in his chair to make eye contact with Ted, smiles, and nods, and Ted feels one of the weights on his heart fall away.

Of course, with Zava leaving and the team having played backup the whole season so far, there's a lot of catch up to do. But it's a challenge that keeps Ted's mind on the game and not everywhere else. For a while, he finds himself able to disappear into managing the headspace of his team, Roy's ideas for stamina and speed training, Beard's best stabs at strategies for them to try.

The only exception to his new workflow is a fairly big scare in the form of reports of Henry bullying another classmate. And Ted doesn't quite know how to feel about the fact that it seems to resolve itself. By the time they talk, Henry seems to have the scope of what he's done wrong and has even apologised the kid for it. Did Michelle talk to Henry about it? Did Dr Jake? There's no way for Ted to know but there's not much more for Ted to add. The thought breaks his heart.

With difficulty, he decides to take it for what it is: a sign that his kid, for the time being, seems to be okay without him. Another weight drops from his heart.

He continues to ignore Henry's nagging about meeting Isolated in Islington. He doesn't have time to think about that. Instead, he decides to focus on the promise he's made to Henry, to the team, to himself: winning the whole thing.

It's in Amsterdam that everything starts coming together.

The so-called friendly match is a disaster and the only thing Ted can do for himself and the rest of the team to make it okay is to give them all a night to let loose.

Somehow, to Beard, this gets translated as "get Ted high", but Ted is so out of ideas at this point that he's willing to try anything. He almost doesn't try it when it's presented to him as a tea, even if it does bring back a fond memory of Trent trying and failing to play it cool after burning his mouth on the foul stuff. Eventually though, Ted decides if he's going to give himself half a chance at anything new, he needs to try something new, so he downs the tea and heads to the front desk to ask about the nearby museums.

He ends up at the Van Gogh museum, specifically in front of the famous "Sunflowers" painting, just staring. He's seen it plenty before, in prints and in digital pictures. He didn't realise, seeing it up close, that it would be possible to see the individual brush strokes. He alternates between being pulled so closely into the details that all he sees is paint in various shades of yellow, green, and blue, to looking at the whole thing and feeling himself trembling at a brand new thought.

He's grown up with sunflowers his whole life. Adorned on any bit of kitsch to do with Kansas. The great big fields he'd drive past on road trips. The ones his mother grew in the backyard and always had in a vase in the kitchen. The ones on his father's grave. The one or two in Michelle's wedding bouquet. It was his state flower, part of growing up in Kansas.

So why, in his mind, do sunflowers only belong to Trent now?

His thoughts are interrupted by a museum guide who shares a Van Gogh quote with him. And, as beautiful as it is, it's his next statement that really sends Ted reeling.

"When you find beauty, you find inspiration. When you know you're doing what you're meant to do, you have to try."

Of course, he realises this applies to his team, and absolutely tonight is about figuring out what the next step there is, but…

But Trent had looked like a sunflower earlier, with his bright yellow shirt and peppery dark hair. So beautiful. And Ted knows he could keep pretending that he doesn’t want him with his whole heart. It would kill him, but he knows he could do it. But there's a part of him, a far bigger part, that wants to give it one more try. That kiss hadn't been nothing. And he owes it to himself to see what could be. To take his own medicine and believe for once.

He accepts the notebook from the guide and decides to make his way to the glimmer of home he's hoping to find in the Yankee-Doodle Burger Barn. As looming as it all is, he can think about Trent in a bit. Right now he has to fix his team.

Eight hours and one placebo-induced drug trip later, Ted has it. At least, he thinks he does. He doesn’t know if it will work – Beard will know more about that than he does – but it's something. And another weight drops from his heart.

He loses the final one a week later.

Total football turns out to be a lot trickier to implement than Ted initially thought it would be. He knew it would be a lot of work to some extent, but he thought that because it was designed to get the team looser it wouldn't be the monumental challenge it's turning out to be. But here they are, playing against Arsenal, still struggling to work together the way he imagined.

But Jamie – proving once again to Ted that his football career will be long and storied – comes to the rescue at half time, explaining where the team is going wrong in the simplest way possible. Ted could absolutely smother him in a hug right now, but he thinks he'll leave that to Roy. He's noticed that he and Jamie seem to be even cosier since Amsterdam and lord help the poor soul that interferes with something Roy Kent cares about.

They still lose, but the second half is absolutely beautiful to watch. The team play off of each other seamlessly. They still seem to be finding their feet, but Ted can see that they finally get it. And that they're having fun. And crowd is having fun watching them have fun.

He's never been prouder to be their manager.

The absolute cherry on top of his success sundae is when Trent quite literally tears into the corridor after the match, looking for him specifically.

"Ted!" he says as he barges through the doors. "It's going to work."

"Great," says Ted, confused as to what could get the cool and catlike Trent Crimm all riled up like a jackrabbit in spring. "What is?"

"Total football." Ted is still confused. "And I'll tell you why. The Lasso Way."

This causes even more confusion. He's only ever heard The Lasso Way used derisively. Used in a biting tone when he does things a little differently or something he tries doesn't work out. He's never heard it said so excitedly with such optimism and hope.

"You haven't switched tactics in a week," Trent continues.

He definitely has. This whole week has been nothing but a new tactic.

"I haven't?" Ted asks, still baffled.

"No! You've done this over three seasons."

Oh. Maybe it was meant to be a little bit derisive then.

"I have?"

"Yes," Trent explains, "by slowly building a club-wide culture of trust and support through thousands of imperceptible moments, all leading to their inevitable conclusion – total football."

Ted tries to believe himself a humble man, one not prone to basking in praise, but something about the way Trent is talking about him, about his achievements, about the achievements of the team, makes Ted want to live in this moment forever.

Trent, Ted realises, is proud of him. Is truly, one hundred percent rooting for him. And Ted feels the final weight on his heart drop as he soars away with it.

"Well how about that," he says, mostly responding to Trent's excited babble, but also to this new feeling of weightlessness and just… happiness that he hasn't felt in months.

And then Trent does the absolute cutest little giddy gesture and Ted knows beyond a shadow of any doubt, he could never be more in love with anyone than he is with Trent right now.

Trent exits the corridor, leaving behind two coaches bemused and one absolutely besotted.

"What a fucking dork," says Roy, not without his own brand of affection.

"Yeah," shrugs Ted, aware of how his feelings are probably plastered across his face, "but he's our dork."

He doesn't miss the knowing look the other two coaches give each other.

Henry calls him later that night to discuss the match.

"It was so cool, dad!" he says. "Do you think Jamie and Roy will teach me how it works the next time I'm there?"

"I'm sure they'd love to, Bud," says Ted, heart so full it could burst.

"Awesome!" says Henry. "Are you still sure you can't come here for Christmas?"

"I'm sure," says Ted, a little pang marring his happiness for a moment. "I have the big Boxing Day match. But that's what Christmas in July was for, remember?"

"Yeah," says Henry, the disappointment in his voice palpable, but as soon as he looks glum, he perks up again. "Hey, that means you can go meet Isolated in Islington!"

"Oh, Bud, no," says Ted. "I can't do that."

He can't do that because it doesn't matter who this Isolated in Islington is, he's got his heart set on Trent. He can't imagine anyone else holding a candle to him, no matter how convinced his son is that this mystery person is his soulmate. He's not ready to tell Henry everything about Trent though, and therein lies the pickle.

"Why not?" says Henry. "Dad, you only get a chance like this once. This person sounds so perfect for you. Can't you just go and see?"

"Look, Kiddo, I really want to be with you on this one," says Ted with a sigh, "but it wouldn't be fair to whoever I'm meeting. I couldn't give them what they're looking for. I'm not saying no because I don't think it's a beautiful idea. I need you to trust that I'm saying no for a good reason, okay? One that you might not understand right now, but I hope you will soon."

Henry doesn't respond. He looks sad, then angry and when Michelle takes the phone from him after a few minutes of pained silence, she also looks concerned.

"He'll come around, Ted," she says. "There's a lot going on at the moment and I think it's just a lot for him to process. Give him a day to cool off and I'm sure he'll be back to his normal self."

But the next day and the day after that when Ted calls, he just gets an apologetic Michelle.

Ted feels some of the weights return.

They all return a few days later, on December 23rd, when Michelle calls him in tears.

"Ted," she says. "Ted, I'm so sorry. Jake took him to the airport and signed him in. He says he got a message from me, but it seems like Henry sent it. Apparently he's safe and I'm on the flight right behind him but oh god."

Ted is about to throw up. He's never heard Michelle this panicked. Ever.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm here," he says, trying to reassure her. "What's going on?"

"Henry's booked himself onto a flight to the UK. Jake helped sign him in."

And then Ted does throw up.

Final Chapter

[jwittekchatter]

Welcome to my TED Talk…Just my opinion & piecing together info on Jeff & his cheating:

Jeff was entertaining another woman from Staten Island (the barbershop receptionist? that he offered to fly out) whilst he was with his Miami girlfriend. He was already cheating back then. It makes sense that when he said he got out of jail and was told his Miami girlfriend cheated on him he wasn't bothered as he was already cheating before she did.

In a Dobrik video, David asked him "have you/ would you cheat?" Jeff said "Yeah" with such a straight face.. Could of been a bit though?

In another Dobrik video, they were teasing him about Cierras billboard after they broke up. David asked him "what would your ex say to you?" Jeff said she would call him a "motherfucker!!". If the breakup was a mutual decision like Jeff says it was, it would not make sense for Jeff to say C would say that. It would make sense for C to say that if Jeff cheated and hated him.

It's shitty of Jeff to put out the narrative that him and C broke up because of social media and it was mutual. Jeff just put out his narrative first to save his reputation as in reality HE cheated, he probably thought he wouldn't look as bad. Also he probably knew C wouldn't say anything publicly because as an actress her brand needs to be 'clean'. Let's be real C has had no scandals, apology videos, dirt being pulled up on her. For LA/Hollywood/Influencer standards shes kept her reputation relatively clean. If there was drama from her past it's probably light stuff unlike Tana who is in drama every month!

It's also very telling that C has never publicly said anything about Jeff since the breakup - clearly she wants zero association with a cheater, naturally you would want to completley dis-associate and forget him which she has done. Where as Jeff has spoken on their relationship since 2018 on his own and other peoples vlogs, podcasts & patreon lives numerous times, theres no clarification of the truth from C's perspective which allows Jeffs narrative to be seen as truth.

I feel like C found out about the cheating and that's the reason they broke up, it was HER decision, NOT Jeffs to end the relationship. That's why Jeffs is so bitter about it and sly comments on C's fiancé, he thinks that should be him. C was 100% single in May/June of 2018 as that's when The Fosters re-branded to Good Trouble, it gave enough time for her to find out since the cheating happened in Oct of 2017. March, April or May 2018 is when they broke up. Funny as June 2018 the first barbershop episode was released.

What really annoys me also is that Jeff made it seem C was the love of his life but he cheats on her 2 years into their relationship?? When C was living the single life after the breakup and moved on, Jeff got jealous? Hypocritical much?! make it make sense lol! It's no wonder C's fiancé hates Jeff!

Men will cheat on vacation away from their girlfriends as the cheating stays away from home and it can be left there. Just like in Mykonos, Jeff doesn't have to see the girl again or deal with any potential drama. Anyway Colombia is well known to have ALOT and i mean ALOT of prostitutes, it's a popular place for guy vacations/ bachelor parties because of this. I'm not saying this Penelope Cruz look-a-like was one, but Mike's first thought was to ask ' was she paid?'. Make of that what you will.

You might be onto something 🤔

[artigas]

I don't like "My Favorite Murder" either but you need to calm down

bestie, i was upset about people wearing t-shirts with ted bundy's face on it and doing makeup videos on youtube while emotionally jerking off to jeffrey dahmer but yeah, no. you're right, bud. i need to calm down. i'm sure it's not that serious. it's not like we're talking about real people or anything. /s

in all seriousness, you know it's okay to get emotional about the victimization of innocent people . . . right? like, when i critique a podcast like MFM or those shitty youtubers who fetishize serial killers, it's because i'm thinking about the innocent people whose legacies are being degraded. that's a really valid thing to get terribly upset about. like, the death of innocent people is worth being hysterical about.

look, i'll hand it to you. you're telling me to calm down, but i don't feel very calm when i think about someone like Elizabeth Short and what her last hours on earth must've been like. I don't feel calm or good or unbothered when I remember that she's just a footnote in someone else's serial killer fetish. i don't feel chill about how victims like her were people with friends and siblings and dreams and aspirations. what was her favorite food? what made her laugh? what joy could she have shared if her time hadn't been stolen away by a monster? we're never, ever going to know and that fucks me up. and it fucks me up that there are a lot of people who don't give a shit about any of this, who dont give a shit about victims at all, because fetishizing killers is a cheap and easy way to gain clout and cash.

like, even if we table the fact that this is my personal blog and nobody is obligating you to read my posts, it's kinda weird that you saw me complain about the glorification of serial murders and needed me to explain or defend that position to you lol

[muppeted]

3, 10 and 13 for the book asks!

ahhh tysm for asking! I’m putting this under a read more bc i got a lil out of control lmao

3. what are your top 5 books of the year?

ok I’m planning on making a separate post w my top 10 2022 releases so consider this list like. my top 5 books I read this year that were NOT released in 2022. if that makes sense. in no particular order:

-the inheritance trilogy by nk jemisin—putting an entire series as one book may be cheating BUT. also me recommending jemisin is very like. hey, did y’all know that one of the most acclaimed sf writers of our generation is uhhh….really fucking good? but oh my god she is.

-the book of atrix wolfe by patricia a mckillip—was reading this when I found out mckillip had passed away, which made for an extra emotional experience. her writing is so, so beautiful, and has had such an impact on the way I write (ok, try and mostly fail to write)/think about fantasy. this is a great standalone from her, about ghosts and curses and the magic of kitchens.

-the singing hills cycle by nghi vo—this is just like. everything I want from a series of linked fantasy novellas. if that makes sense. Like I’m such a sucker for books where the frame narrative is someone going around collecting stories, and the stories vo tells are so real, feel deeply embedded in history and mythology, love and rage. and, ofc, also very very queer and hot (who among us has not wanted to be semi-abducted by beautiful morally ambiguous tiger lady).

-ghost summer by tananarive due—one of the things I love abt due is her stories work SO well read aloud—levar burton’s podcast featured one of the stories from this book and it was such a good ep, I really recommend seeking it out. listening to her read at an event I attended a couple years ago was also amazing—the entire audience was like so tense and so with her for the entire story, it was great. another thing I love about this collection is that at the end of each story she gives some context around the writing of the story—it’s fun! I think more authors should do this w their short story collections!

-peter darling by sa chant—yes it is embarrassing that it’s taken me this long to read this. but I did! finally! and I did cry !

ok actually going through the list I cried while reading 4/5 of these despite the fact that none of them are like. stereotypical cry-y books. which could mean 1) i love books that make me cry or 2) i just cried a lot this year. probably both

10. what was your favorite new release of the year?

gonna say it’s a tie between the daughter of doctor moreau by silvia moreno-garcia and the hurting kind by ada limon. I just finished the hurting kind so that might make me a lil biased but limon is one of my all time favorite poets and this collection peeled me like an orange so ! (is that a phrase? is that something ppl say? icr)

And then the second daughter of dr Moreau was announced I was like I’m going to love this and then I did. reworking SF classics is just so completely my shit and moreno-garcia does it sososososo well. really recommend watching island of lost souls (the 1932 adaptation) right before watching this, they pair together perfectly (it;s like, one takes this base story and does something mostly shitty but still kind of fascinating/intriguing with it, and the other takes this base story and turns it into something incredible).

13. what were your least favorite books of the year?

Listen. I read so many bad romance novels this year. also a lot of really really good romance novels but. so many bad ones. i don’t want to like name names but here is a vague list:

-romance that was literally just ted lasso but ALSO the author was originally a het romance writer who had never written gay before so the sex scenes were like ‘he put his thingy in my thingy’ and it’s like maam. this is not my immortal. either say hole or leave.

-tiktok popular book that was EXTREMELY badly-written (yes this happened 3 times. it will probably happen again. I’m not even on tiktok--i’d see some non-tiktok person rec it also so i’d be like oh then it must be good ! and it never was. idk i am Charlie Brown and tiktok is lucy holding the football)

-started reading a fantasy romance and was intrigued by the premise and then they described the love interest and I was like ‘oh. this is just fantasy k*lo ren.’ i have like zero feelings on k*lo ren he just is not sexy to me so it always took me out of it and made me put the book down. also I don’t even think the books themselves were r*ylo or republished fanfic or anything I think the authors just think that character/actor is sexy. which is fine. i just am not personally into that. this also happened twice

[lilfla]

Alone is an understatement, I sometimes wonder if this is what Albert Einstein or Socrates. Ideas today has been so radicalized it makes everything so black and white.

Why is there a need to lend an opinion on everything? It’s to the point where if a pubic figure lends no opinion….AN OPINION IS ASSIGNED TO THEM BY THE PUBLIC!

The fucking gender wars back and forth on social media leads you to believe that all this shit is just on the internet but I SWEAR… at times in real life i can see the bullshit podcast points spewed on those shitty relationship/gender based talk spaces REPEATED in real time, sometimes verbatim.

And bro…do you see what the fuck masculinity has turned into? WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK why every single day there’s talk points in wtf an alpha is??? Bullshit reminds me of teen wolf, deadass. Corny ass shit lol

My reaction to all this is to do the opposite. Never lend opinion unless warranted. Don’t live by pre-created rules of masculinity but most importantly do what the fuck I want.

- we often are told to live our life freely but folks rarely truly 100% do. Since a jit I been doing what I want regardless of consequence. I just live with them.

No idea where I was going with this rant. I just hate the state of the world…right now atleast , I wish we all would just LITERALLY chill the fuck out and stop worrying so much, do what you want and the next mf mind they gatdamn business!

Anyways that was my Ted talk. Don’t really care who reads this 😂

[returntosaturn271995]

Tuesday, May 16th: Domesticating the Shrew

So I didn’t go to the DMV this morning. I went to bed at 10:30 last night just so I could wake up naturally at 6 am...and still roll over because holy fuck I have no control. When I’m awake I’m happy to be awake by my god a body at rest loves to stay at fucking rest. Was I bear in a past life? 

A manic depressive bear? 

Anyways, once I journeyed out of the cave my day became more impressive. I threw on a navy sports bra, light blue leggings, and my old running shoes because I am sick of breaking in the new cool ones. That is until I saw a sliver of my little socked toe wiggling back at me. 

Okay. Might be time to throw them away and commit to the new shitty ones. Anyways, I took my (too) old shoes on a new path by heading to the bay today instead of my usual beach trek. I felt moody and girlie so was listening to Lorde’s “Solar Power” and Taylor Swift’s “Folklore” albums. My sights today included: boats, a telephone pole graffitied “Fuck Capitalism”, met a sheepdog named Alvin whose owner’s name I have since forgotten, and an old fashioned turquoise car with a surfboard on top- straight out of ‘60′s San Diego. 

Upon returning home, I put the cow leather chair that I’ve had forever in to the garage and texted (low key pleading) with Hannah to move Lumos’s destroyed cat tower AKA the first thing anyone sees when they walk in our home. She thinks I should buy something to replace it, but if she thinks I’m spending a cent on more furniture for that cat to piss on she’s smoking actual crack. 

I channeled my cat-shaped rage in to making a very ambitious smoothie and applying to jobs (getting some responses thank god) for about an hour. Texted Kendall and Kelly about Kelly’s wheel exploding on the freeway, Maddy about her finally opening a bottle of wine we ordered in Seattle 2 years ago, and Eric about how lackluster relationships aren’t worth it. 

My goal for cleaning today was just to organize my night stand, but looking at the dust behind it spiraled in to me vacuuming, power-disinfecting and reorganizing the entire corner of the room including the bookshelf. Then I spent 90 minuets cooking homemade Kung Pow Chicken (New Skill: used cornstarch). Washed all the dishes and swapped out the recycling. Today’s podcast was three episodes of Radio Rental, and then the new Ted Lasso. 

Finally at 8, I spent a solid 45 minutes doing yoga, (shoulder and arm flexibility, head to knee pose improving, happy baby pose is embarrassing). Today’s meditation was on being real. Yeah, okay. How’s this for real: “I’m not sure I’m getting any better at this.” 

Whew. Definitely a self-improvement day...minus the DMV. 

Along with the 90′s book, I’m also reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari. Last night the chapter I was on discussed how the key reason Sapiens came to dominate earth and kill off other species of humans was due to our ability to agree on concepts that didn’t exist (gods, trade, LLCs). Shared meanings, myths, stories. It’s what makes us powerful, persuasive, and innovative.

In a way, I had to imagine I’d improve before I ever did. Will these moments, these tiny accomplishments, in to existence, in to behavior, in to part of the narrative I’m creating for myself. 

I’m someone who cooks, reads, journals, writes comedy, does yoga, meditates, cleans, works on themself in therapy, gets outside and runs, has good relationships with friends and family, politically aware and open minded, loves music, dresses well, and keeps their room beautiful.

Also my hair, tits and ass are pretty fucking phenomenal. Oh, and I wear sunscreen! Fuck me that’s not nothing. 

I’ll get my license renewed sooner or later. Today I feel like pretty identifiable.

[redspacegirl]

"yeah red" you say, nodding

but you don't understand how much they should not have survived that.

this specifically is pertaining to the car, actually. The car kian drives is a Delorean, as grizzly states in the podcast (he says it multiple times). this is an iconic 80s car, mainly due to the popularity of the movie "Back to the Future" HOWEVER, what a lot of current-day viewers don't understand is that the reason they used the Delorean was because it was an INSANELY SHITTY CAR!!! the joke was that it was garbage, and could do the thing they needed it to do.

so TECHNICALLY? kian wouldn't have been driving the car in the first place. unless you want to say he got it because he thought it looked expensive? from the research i did, im pretty sure it was expensive too. either way, weird choice in car.

then, charlie and the rest of the group assumed the delorean had airbags. it certainly did not, as it was a) a really shitty car and b) not required to. that's right! cars were not required to have airbags until 1998!

i did a whole bunch of other research on it, because i wanted to make a fic about it. i don't think im gonna write that fic, mainly cuz im pretty sure someone else already did, BUT i did google a whole bunch for it, including stuff like "what happens if you hit a wall head on with a car at 60 mph" and more that i odnt remember

that's the end of my ted talk. it changes absolutely nothing, i just really needed to share this.

i love bitb so much, but they genuinely should not have survived that car crash

[vintageaustin]

lotta true crime

pairing: serialkiller!austin x reader

summary: serial killer Austin kidnaps reader who has a podcast about true crime with her friends cus she saw something she shouldn't

trigger warnings: mentions of murder and well death kidnapping Stockholm syndrome.. mentions of various serial killers talk of blood and knifes psychotic thinking... and smut in the next chapters last but not least my shitty writing

authors note: AAAH HALLOWEEN KICK OF HERE WE GOOOO it's spooky month so here is serial killer Austin on the way to make you all swoon. hehe hehe please i swear i'm sane and honestly if you cant handle this subject please leave it and don't pay anymind to it

special tag: @asshlyyyyy

Part 2 here

It was currently 3 am in down town LA and Austin was out looking for another victim. He couldn’t help it he never understood what was wrong with him and after a while he stopped caring he liked who he was. Even if that meant he hurt people it made him feel some type of way….

 He knew it was bad and that he shouldn’t feel that way but he does and that damn podcast wasn’t helping one singular bit. He didn’t care about her friends he would’ve killed all of them in an instant if they were ever to cross pads but her…. 

It was all about her. He put on the latest episode of your podcast. It usually started with your friends bitching about men like bundy….. or Ramirez…. But you… you seemed to understand him. He sighed as he heard your friend speak up again

 “I mean I hope this doesn’t seem to impolite but Ted Bundy was just never that fucking bright he was just sorta charismatic and white and he was so fucking sure he had the right but he’s ugly and I’m glad he’s dead because there was no fucking candle in his pumpkin he wasn’t special for winning his game with women who never even played they could’ve have killed him.” Her annoying voice ran trough his air pods… 

and then you spoke up “well I mean I’m sure it went deeper than that I’m sure there is a more psychological reason your missing here… he had a pattern and I-“. You were cut off again by your other friend. 

“There’s a new killer in town…” she said as Austin looked up from his phone a bit surprise… could it be “they call him the butler killer or something he prints out anything bad his victims do.. and then he sighs it “butler” that’s all that’s it…* she said and Austin smirked ever so lightly to himself..  they were talking about him he waited for your response kinda nervous as if your opinion really meant something to him.

“Hm… butler killer” you hummed and he smirked to himself. He never met you but he just felt connected as if you knew what he was thinking the whole time and then he heard you speak up again. 

“Hm so he kills people who like kill or hurt others… there’s gotta be some good childhood trauma for that..but he isn’t big enough to talk about in the media … yet interesting “ you said and Austin smiled proudly to himself. He was proud of you, you were his clever girl even tho you don’t know that yet. 

If you were thinking in theorie which he knew you did you’d probably be on your phone googling what ever you could find about him. Your friend her annoying voice ran through his headphones again as he let out a low groan. 

She just needed to run her mouth again as always if she wasn’t careful enough she might get herself killed one of these days…. “So what does this guy do? Does he kill butlers” she laughed that annoying laugh. 

He heard You sigh  softly and speak up again “no amber this article says that the killer leaves business cards at the crime scene with the name butler on it and the sin of his victims on the back of the card, police hasn’t found any other evidence at the crime scene whatsoever” you read to them ever so effortlessly from your phone. 

As Austin smiles proudly to him self of-course his little bunny wouldn’t disappoint.. and of course he wouldn’t be stupid enough to be leaving evidence behind you see. That’s one thing he didn’t have in-common with  other serial killers whatsoever his work didn’t get sloppy. He always made sure to wear gloves and hide his face. 

The sound of your voice died out for a bit as your friends went on and on.. until you spoke up again “he uses a knife.. “

 you said “there have been no signs of gun powder and no one ever heard a bang so my theory is  that he uses a knife to avoid brains flying around… or any organs seeing that’d leave a bigger mess than a knife he likes to prevent the mess from happening he’s a clean killer..  also his name… maybe it’s not about who he kills he kills people who sinned here cheating wife… fraud ect ect  I don’t think he’s a butler tho maybe maybe it had something to do with his name” you said. 

He smirked at him self that was his clever girl he agreed with your theorie about the knife seeing ge never used a gun because of how loud it would get and it’s more traceable Austin liked working clean. He wasn’t like others he had feelings he knew how to feel hurt and sad and angry. 

But what about Happy….. in full honesty he hadn’t been happy in a while… it had been a long long while since he had been happy. 

And the theorie about his name was even more brilliant. You did your research he’d give you that much.  He leaned back in his car seat putting his feed upon the dash board. As he listened to your voice once again.

“It almost seems like… like he’s following the 10 commandments honor your father and mother his first victims were two teens who set up their parents for their money and then his second victim was a neighbor who gave a false testimony against another neighbor…. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor and here… cheating wife found dead while lover was still inside her … thy shall not commit adultery… and the most resent one was a man who stole billions from the company he worked for… thou shalt not steal” you said as your friends spoke again. 

He was kinda dumbstruck honestly it was like you knew all of his moves all his thoughts that’s why you were his bunny you understood him…  if he wouldn’t know better you’d be a killer yourself. 

But he knew nothing more than your name and that you went too the same college.. he spoke in your criminology class a view times your professor mentioned your podcast. That’s how he found his bunny but you wouldn’t remember him for the life of you. And he knew that

At around 4:00 o’clock the podcast ended and that’s when Austin spot his next victim a boy about 19 years old who killed a little girl in a hit and run… thy shall not murder so it was Austin his time to make him pay. Little did he know you were walking home. 

You walked through the alley way he was in just about to finish it he took his mask of. As you approach them your blood ran cold.

Austin looked up quickly and cursed to himself before you could let out a scream he grabbed your waist and pulled you. Around the corner his hand covering your moth and the tip of  his knife. Pointing into your stomach with a bit of pressure 

“Wouldn’t scream if I were you little bunny.” He whispered in your ear. And the last thing you felt was a hit to the head and then everything turned black 

But little did he know that one night would change his whole life… 

this is halloween everybody make a scene

part one out of 5 of lotta true crime let me know what you guys think

love j xxx

[fadingponycookiedream]

okay. okay. okay. so, after watching ted lasso two times and then for a third time with my best friend ‘cause I’m gonna make my obsessions everybody else’s problem, I’ve now come to the conclusion that Nate and Jamie’s storylines are masterfully and subtly created as parallels but moving in the opposite directions.

so, in s1 Jamie is dealing with ego, right? he’s the topdog and he is doing solo goals, making the crowd cheer for him, not making The Extra Pass™️, making the locker room a toxic place, bullying Nate. he’s operating according to this very traditional, shitty view of masculinity and hierarchy. then Ted comes in and he changes the game. his whole philosophy turns this upside down. he tries to lift people up with kindness and positive reinforcements. making Nate more confident and outspoken, while making Jamie more cooperative, more of a teamplayer. the whole system is different. according to his philosophy the Cool Guy is the one that brings everyone along in success.

we see this blossom in s2 when Jamie comes back. the power balance shifted. but a key componant stays the same: Jamie and Nate are both still very much deeply insecure people who seek external validation. but while in season 1 Nate is seeking that validation from the people close to him, we see that, ever so gradually he starts seeking that validation from people on the internet; browsing twitter feeds and listening to podcasts about himself. and while that’s happening Jamie starts seeking validation from the people close to him. people whose opinions truly matter to him. Ted, who operates as a father figure, Roy, who he starts seeing as his equal, kind of a brother (more like bother figure, iykyk). Keeley, who he still loves very much.

and that’s what’s truly tragic about Nate’s story. he still thinks that success is being on the top in the old system. being the one that gets to laugh at the others without consequences. and Jamie, wether or not he realises it, steps out of the system (a fucking dreadful system, really), and learns that success and love are not zero sum games. it’s doing it together that makes it count.

and while Nate is taken away by the same hollow cheers of the crowd that got a chokehold on Jamie in the first season, Jamie learns that what really matters is the people we hold close. the rest is noise. and I just think that’s pretty neat.

(of course there’s plenty of stuff I left out about why they are like this and why the system sucks ass, but fkgjsjdhsksnxj *slams fist on table* I just love this show so goddamn much)