#Technoblade grants him prince status

[anarchy-and-piglins]

found a 'Mumbo and Techno are cousins' fic, and now obsessed with this idea. like just. Mumbo and Techno being genuinely related and absolutely NO ONE would get it, because it's /Mumbo/. the man is a mess. a disaster. just a silly little thing

and then you're reminded that he's a Hermit, and they're such a strange fucking bunch, and just the mental image of Mumbo showing up at the dSMP, wanting to say hi to his cousin, and no one takes him serious at all, except then he drops some cryptid fucking Hermit shit, and everyone is like

wait

what?

obsessed. truly living the best life rn

Concept where Techno and Mumbo are both piglin shapeshifters and they’re cousins that grew up in the same sounder. Just little baby piglins chillen in the nether uwu Then when they were in their early teens the sounder got fucked over and Mumbo and Techno both thought they were the sole survivor, traveling to the Overworld by separate means. It wasn’t until literal years later that they met up again and were just like “!!! owo” and while they each have their separate shit going on they still make it a point to message each other and occasionally meet up!

People usually think Mumbo is joking when he says he’s related to ‘The Technoblade’ like... ??? you mean the scary pvp guy who dominates tournaments??? sounds fake. Meanwhile nobody would think that out of all the hermits, Mumbo is the one Techno talks to most. It wouldn’t cross anybodies mind they’re family either since Mumbo almost always uses his human form (thumbs are kind of a necessity when doing redstone or building) while Techno skews towards piglin form for combat and living in cold places. They’re just not very alike.

Except then Mumbo shows up like “hey :3 I got an idea for a new storage system that’ll help with your witherskull collection” and Techno’s like “sick! How’s the whole ‘worshiping the moon that will soon destroy all live on my server’ thing going.” and Mumbo just shakes his head, “Ah, you know, vengeful gods doing their vengeful god stuff. I should have stuck to worshiping the blood god but I really wanted to try the whole love peace and plants outlook. That reminds me, I can show you this really cool trick with a nether star owo”

and everybody else is just

[calciumcryptid]

This is about the character, not the content creator.

Dream SMP Headcanons:

TechnoBlade Edition

Techno was born in a Crimson Forest, and grew up eating the fungi there. Due to this, he is vegetarian and hates eating meat.

The majority of piglins aren't expected to make it to adulthood, so most of Techno's childhood was moving around and protecting himself.

Techno, like all Piglins, has a strong attachment to gold. In fact, gold armor is the equivalent of diamond for him.

Techno has a tendency to hoard gold, but due to having to move around a lot he turned the gold into jewelry for him to wear.

Techno grew attached to Philza because he mistook the man's hair for gold. He followed Philza because Techno was curious about the man's wings (he didn't float or go through blocks like a ghast, it was insane!)

It took Philza a while to convince Techno to touch grass. Techno immediately hated the sensation of grass on his hooves.

Philza just brought Techno home with him to where he and Wilbur stayed. Wilbur lost his mind at the idea of having a brother.

Techno didn't have a choice in the adoption. Wilbur, upon learning Techno's age was unknown due to no concept of time in the nether, just declared they were twins.

Techno taught himself how to speak Villager by reading books. The first book he ever completed was The Art of War.

Due to the differences in Nether and Overworld fighting styles, Techno got an upper hand during fighting competitions.

The SBI house was by the ocean. This was how Sally met Wilbur and by extension Techno met Squidkid.

Squidkid was the one who introduced Techno to potatoes as a food source and taught Techno how to grow them. Techno eventually challenged Squidkid's status as the number one potato farmer which lead to the Great Potato World.

During a mining trip, Techno ran into a ravine inhabited by Golems. There he met Skeppy, a Diamond Golem trickster.

Surprisingly, the two got along well and set up a trade system between them that got the SBI a good influx of diamonds and Skeppy plenty of food and building materials.

Techno, like Skeppy, can crunch straight through rocks. This is why Techno consumes golden carrots.

Techno was the one who introduced Skeppy to the Nether, and taught him the truck of using the roof to travel the safest. It was on the Nether Roof where Skeppy met BadBoyHalo.

Techno was the best man at BBH and Skeppy's wedding, his best man speech goes similar to the Conner and Minx one.

Techno figured out the mother of Philza's kids was Kristen, better known as Lady Death.

As a reward for his mix of strategic and fighting skills, Kristen granted him the title of Blood God. This made Techno functionally immortal alongside Philza, but since Techno wasn't the child or lover of a god the ritual sort of backfired into creating the chat.

The crown upon Techno's head, which I imagine more of a fancy gold circlet, was first given to him as a child by Philza who enchanted it so he could go to the Overworld without being zombiefied. It later was enchanted by Kristen to help Techno reign in his bloodlust.

Techno was the one who taught Tommy how to fight. Techno at first tried to teach Tommy a battle style that would fit Tommy's stature, but Tommy was insistent that he could fight like Techno and be better at it.

This lead to Tommy being "bad" at fighting.

Tommy and Techno went hunting once, which lead Tommy's first kill to be a raccoon. I draw Tommy with a raccoon hat, this is where it comes from.

Wilbur and Techno would stay up into the late hours of the night talking about psychology and philosophy.

Techno got along with Philza and Kristen better than Tommy and Wilbur which caused Techno to not see Tommy and Wilbur as brothers.

Techno actually met Ranboo before the canon events, not that either remember. Techno found a weird ghast enderman hybrid and fed it a golden apple. Ranboo teleported away from him, but they did technically meet.

Techno and Dream met in a weird way. Dream was going to have a dramatic introduction where he declares Techno as his rival when in reality Dream fell off a building and Techno was so frightened that he blacked out during their conversation.

It wasn't until the rivalry was publicized that Techno realized what exactly he agreed to. Techno also quickly realized he had a lot more to lose than Dream did so his anxiety will go absolutely insane when he is around Dream.

Now onto more canon aligned headcanons:

Techno and Niki get along so well because they both know what it is like to have the smallest voice be theirs. They also speak the platonic love language of quality time so it isn't weird to see Niki baking with Techno reading near by.

Techno refers to Ranboo as the Blood Prince in his head, but he'll never admit this.

Techno can speak Villager, Pigllager, Aquatic (Squidkid), Avian (Philza), and Engar (Ranboo).

Due to Techno's first interaction with Dream being Dream falling off a roof, Techno isn't intimidated by Dream at all.

Techno has a tendency to forget that Philza is married to Death herself, so he is always a little shocked when Philza talks to gods so casually.

Techno will still think that being handed gold means the other person wants to trade. It is awkward explaining this.

Piglins like to drape their love ones in gold, so Techno will give golden ornaments to his loved ones. He has given Wilbur a black guitar with golden lining, Tommy swords with a golden handle, Philza and Kristen plenty of golden jewelry, Ranboo golden quills, and Niki golden baking utensils. He also gives golden apples to animals around him, and dresses Carl, Steve, and Blitz in golden collars and armor.

Techno has Thanatophobia, the fear of death.