#Taylor & Travis' first Christmas together

[seeminglyranch87]

Taylor & Travis Timeline

December 2023 - part 3

December 16 - Travis Kelce arrives ahead of game - Foxborough, MA

December 17 - Chiefs v New England Patriots, Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, MA

Travis passes by a billboard of Taylor at Gillette Stadium (x) during game warm up session

Taylor attends Chiefs v Patriots game with her dad Scott Swift, Brittany Mahomes, Ashleigh Avignone, Melanie Nyema, Alana Haim & others.

Taylor wore a vintage Chiefs sweater and fan made beanie with custom "87"

KC Chiefs defeat Patriots 27 - 17

Chiefs Coach Andy Reid after the game says of Taylor (x 5:40) when asked about her affect on the team:

"I'm a big fan so I'm glad she was here, I hope she enjoyed it, She's got a great guy that she is dating right now, I'm happy for both of them."

Taylor and Travis fly back to Kansas City.

December 18 - The messenger informs us (x) incase you were wondering...

"There are no plans for an engagement anytime soon," the source exclusively told The Messenger amid rumors. "There is no engagement at this time."

December 19 - Page Six publish article - Taylor & Travis to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve together.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will be spending the holidays together this year, Page Six can exclusively confirm.

A source tells us that the pop superstar, 34, will be with her NFL beau, also 34, in Kansas City, Mo., on both Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve since he is scheduled to work on both days. “She’ll for sure be at the games,” an insider says.

The Hollywood Reporter post a humorous look at "The 2023 Hollywood Yearbook" and crown Taylor and Travis as Prom Queen and King (x)

December 21 - New Heights Ep. 69 airs. Travis and Jason Kelce discuss the Chiefs v Patriots win and Taylor's popularity at the venue and Scott Swift's support for the Chiefs. (x 38.00)

Travis refers to Taylor being shown on the jumbo-tron at Gillette Stadium during the game...

"I'll say this they showed Taylor at the game and I mean you don't you don't see an entire home team fan base go insane for somebody wearing the opposite team's colors. Just shows you how amazing that girl is They went absolutely insane when they showed Taylor on the screen, there might have been a few Brads and Chads that were booing but for the most part everybody was f** screaming their tail off, I was trying to keep it cool I was like don't show don't show your cards don't show your cards it was fun man it was fun. Shout out to the the Patriots New England, Taylor's on board or she's on record saying that that Stadium's one of the funnest that she's played at so for them to show her is uh just kind of I guess showing her some some love so shout out to the Patriots for doing that."

The NFL continue to post about Taylor and Travis...

December 21 - Taylor at Electric Lady Studios, NYC

December 22 - Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs Quarterback praises Taylor in interview with CBS Mornings (x)

Patrick sharing his thoughts on Taylor...

"She's just part of Chiefs kingdom now, she's part of the team"

"She's top tier at her profession"

"I'm glad that she is the person that she is and that is why I think her and Travis match so well."

December 25 - Christmas Day

Chiefs v Las Vegas Raiders, Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City.

Travis arrives at Arrowhead Stadium ahead of game (x)

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Taylor arrives at Arrowhead Stadium with Santa - Austin Swift

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Taylor watches game with her parents Scott and Andrea, brother Austin, his girlfriend Sydney, Ed Kelce, Brittany Mahomes Lindsay Bell and others.

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Taylor seen wearing a Santa hat with "87" on it in support of Travis. Commentators accidentally call Taylor Travis' "wife" (x)

Raiders defeat Chiefs 20 - 14

Taylor leaves Arrowhead Stadium with Travis (x) to celebrate Christmas together.

December 29 - New Heights Ep 71 airs (x) - Travis and Jason talk about their Christmas celebration with parents Donna and Ed and are also joined by Kylie Kelce.

Travis asked Kylie who grew up in Philadelphia "did you guys go out to Reading or Lancaster?" to buy a Christmas tree when she was a child? With a knowing grin, Kylie admits to never visiting Reading but "I heard there was a tree farm out there" (1:24)

We all know in whose heart there is a "Christmas Tree Farm" ;-)

“I feel like you might like cats now,” Kylie teased her brother in law. Which leads us to ask how is Travis getting along with Meredith, Olivia and Benjamin? (1:27)

When talking about his Christmas Day and referencing the Chiefs loss Travis said “I’ve had better. … But it ended well, it ended well with good Christmas cheer and good people. That’s always gonna save Christmas no matter if you lose to the Raiders or not.”

Travis went on to praise Taylor’s brother, Austin Swift, who attended the game dressed in a Santa costume. “It was a full commit. He killed it,” Travis said, revealing that Austin gave him “a VHS of my favorite football movie of all time... the Little Giants” “He actually made me feel like a child because his gift to me was straight out of the bag.” “Santa kills it,” Travis said of the gift. (1:30)

December 31 - Chiefs v Bengals, Arrowhead Stadium. Travis arrives ahead of game (x)

Taylor watches the game at Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City wearing a Chiefs varsity jacket customised with "Tay Tay". Travis wore a matching jacket heading into the game last week. Perhaps this jacket is a gift from Travis?? Taylor looks like she had a fabulous time cheering on Travis and the Chiefs.

Chiefs defeat Bengals 25 - 17 and are now AFC West Champions and qualified for playoffs! (x)

Travis & Taylor leave Arrowhead together

Travis and Taylor celebrate New Year's Eve together (x x x)

Go to part 1 of December 2023

Go to part 2 of December 2023

Go to next update -> January 2024, part 1

Return to the timeline

[t1erradelfuego]

good evening. it is 22:18 pm. my flight leaves in 14 hours. i spoke 2 the moon today and she said that i can't start packing until i get rid of the worms in my brains and the narratives in my heart in the form of ao3 formatted fic ideas that rotate in my mind at the speed of light.

broken window serenade [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl] alternate universe - yellowstone fusion, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, internalized homophobia, cowboys & ranch hands Everyone knows the Tkachuks around here. They own the biggest ranch south of Montana, hundreds of hectares of grazing land nestled on the border in between Missouri and Nebraska. Leon's been a part of the ranch since before he could even ride a horse. He knows this place better than the back of his hand, knows his way around the business and the politics that come with being Keith Tkachuk's right-hand man and the leader of the ranch hands. So it's not a problem at all when Keith falls ill and the ranch is left to Brady and him in the meantime. Not a problem at all, when Matthew shows up for the first time in eleven years, like Leon hadn't spent the same amount of time convincing himself that Matthew was a figment of his imagination. That he didn't leave him in the middle of the night, didn't ruin everything and everyone else for Leon after that.

more notes: my toxic white middle age conservative trait is that i love yellowstone. look the show is Not The Best but WHATEVER i fucking love cowboy hats so much and i think for the benefit of my health i need to imagine leon draisaitl on a horse. anyways leon is a poor little canadian-german orphan (do NOT ask me how he got to missouri) who has been a part of the ranch since he was young, growing up with matthew as their friendship turned from deeply codependent childhood besties into fucking around together. and then matthew leaves one morning after he comes out to his dad and disappears for the next 11 years which ruins leon. and now keith's in the hospital with a stroke and matthew's back and leon just wants to run him over with a horse! something about the sincerity of childhood relationships and also the first bond you make in a new and strange place and the idea of being each other's comfort. and having that all taken away from you without a choice. and having it walk back into your life dressed in a business casual suit. there is also the version of this that exists. from matthew's perspective but like. always more narratively interesting to dig into the one who got left behind.

so good at being trouble [jack hughes/nico hischier] rule 63, alternate universe - celebrity, jack hughes is not a hockey player, getting together, secret relationship, mixed media, outsider POV, Pop Base @popbase Jack Hughes spotted with Nico Hischier, captain of the New Jersey Devils (NHL), at dinner in Los Angeles.

more notes: i'm not even a swiftie but the travis kelce and taylor swift of it all REALLY got to me. and then trevor's whole thing with the tiktok influencer and getting publicized via alex's ig is sooooo. and the wag christmas pics. i'm in shambles island over here. i'm gnawing on a bone that is pop star/professional athlete of it all. i want jack to show up slyly in the pictures and nobody knows if she's there because of luke or because of nico. i thought this would be full pov fic but it is so much more tastier as a mixed media/snippets in between type of fic because i want nothing more than to lean into the media machine that haunts their relationship. also luke having a meltdown that his captain and his sister are dating.

love is no island [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale], alternate universe - not a hockey player, love island fusion, getting together, no shirts no shoes but trevor still gets service, It was a joke, but it wasn't really a joke, because Trevor had been single for too long when he saw a post advertising Love Island applications appear on his phone. He's never been out of luck before, doesn't really know what to do without something to occupy his time and his hands. Even his social media algorithm knows this. It had been the best idea of his life. Then again, everything sounds like the best idea of his life after six shots and a fruity cocktail on an empty stomach.

more notes: ok i binged love island s6 throughout thanksgiving break and i've been thinking about the similarity of being put in a high-stakes fast paced environment and the semblance of intimacy that it creates in hockey and in love island. i'm thinking very deeply of trevor who can't sort his private vs public feelings and is also scared that this means nothing to jamie, whose friends signed him up on a lark and doesn't actually want to be here. nothing much to do but to fall in love and it feels a little too inevitable and maybe too easy. they sweep the voting and win the grand prize and fly back and go. oh. now what.

like the best that you've had [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale] rule 63, women in the NHL, 2023-2024 NHL season, getting together, "So like," Mason starts, having slowly skated his way over to Jamie as they're doing cool down laps. Practice ended an hour ago, but Trevor wanted extra reps at defending and to torture Mason for whatever reason, and it turned into keep and chase that ended with Trevor straddling Jamie, trying to face wash him on the ice. "You and Trevor a thing, huh?" They weren't particularly subtle if Mason's figured it out in his first practice with the team. Jamie blushes. "Oh. Good luck." Mason nods sagely, patting Jamie on the back before skating away quickly.

more notes: girl trevor is a female coyote who's ready to EAT. deeply inspired by top dog by magdalena bay. i've been thinking about the dynamics of women in the nhl (see: bingo board) for a long time and trevor would make the best girl in the game, so deeply sure about herself, loudly wants and hasn't ever felt shy a day in her life. i keep thinking about how jamie would go insane. specifically i wanna pick away at the dynamic that is being deeply in love with someone that everyone keeps telling you not to fall in love with. not that there's anything wrong with girl trevor but she looks like she chews on boys' heart for fun and spits them out clean as a whistle after. and she does! the first three months of living together, jamie runs into way too many guys that look heartbroken while getting kicked out like!

call this place my home [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid] rule 63, accidental pregnancy, developing relationship, polyamorous relationship, alternate universe, 2022-2023 NHL season Leon and Connor have been tied on the leaderboard for the past week, like they can't figure out who should win the Art Ross trophy this season, passing the puck back and forth in between them on the way to the net. They did the same to Matthew during Toronto, because they always liked sharing everything. Now she's staring at a positive pregnancy test. Go figure.

more notes: saving the best for last because THIS IS SO FUCK NASTY AND INDULGENT, i am not above this apparently. look i keep thinking about matthew getting pregnant and deciding to keep it and not knowing who's the father is and haha well the three of them have been. sort of a thing anyways. for the past year so maybe they should just? not figure out? and she's going to miss the rest of the season anyways so she might as well stay in edmonton. the baby's got to have canadian citizenship. surely. also german citizenship. the baby will play for team usa though. i think there are a lot of fun questions to explore like how do you acknowledge you are in a deeply committed polyamorous relationship and also how does having a kid change that. also how does having a kid change YOU and your own definition of love. how do you learn to put faith and hope into the wide changing world and trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. the pregnancy is actually a metaphor, you see,

[taysdorothea13]

okay what does tay do when wren wren turns 13!

if it were up to taylor, she'd fly to like paris and they'd have the most lavish expensive day ever. like she would pull out all the stops. but, wren's a little homebody at her core so instead they opt for a party at home in new york. she and wren stay up until midnight baking their birthday cake, and since she finalized the adoption she knows wren's specific birthday time, so she wakes her up at 7:14 in the morning and they eat said birthday cake in bed, definitely watching christmas movies or tangled... honestly probably both. she got wren thirteen presents because anything and everything taylor can do to remind wren she's thirteen.. she's doing it. honestly, its a lot of normal presents. new pencils, another sketchbook, a couple outfits, just typical teenager things. then of course they have lunch, but travis is in the picture and he's always opted to sit out on cake decorating and baking because that's taylor and wrens special birthday tradition and he recognizes the importance of having that remain just them, but he wants to make his girls lunch (hence why they eat breakfast in wrens bedroom because he kicked them out of the kitchen to make something special). its just wrens favorite pasta dish that he makes but he also cut and breaded his own chicken breasts to make them homemade chicken tenders for taylor. after they eat, travis takes wren out for a 'drive', but really he's taking her to get her second holes pierced because she's been asking taylor for weeks but there just hasn't really been a good time to go get it. taylor of course knows this is happening, so when they get home she's waiting on the couch smiling from ear to ear because wren is absolutely beaming and the earrings she got as a present make a lot more sense now. and then they spend the rest of the afternoon getting ready for the party. its not anything ridiculously big, but it is a good mix of taylors friends and wrens friends (which.. are just taylors friends kids... but the point stands) and there is definitely more drinking going on than anybody really likes to admit, but it has such a nice buzz to the room that everybody just kind of overlooks how selena and jason are trying to outdrink each other in beers and wine coolers. taylor hadn't wanted to celebrate herself at the party, but wren had been insistent so they have a dual theme but its also not really themed at all. like they're just two different vibes and thats obvious in the decor but nobody cares because taylor and wren are having the times of their lives. taylors cake has a picture of her and wren on it from the first night they spent together, and wren's cake is just a collage of hayley and gracie pics because... well.... she's a thirteen year old girl and that's what she's into and hayley and gracie are absolutely dying because she did it to be a little shit and they know that. and once the party dies down and its just friends and family left, they just sit around and talk until like three in the morning when wren passes out on taylors lap with her feet in travis's.

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

Do you think Travis and Taylor are already engagd and do you think it will be announced anytime soon?

I have no idea! I do know from personal experience that there’s usually 2+ conversations that could end in an engagement prior to one being enacted. My fiancé and I definitely discussed and affirmed our intention to move towards marriage at probably around 5-8 months of dating. We had a giggly whispered conversation while we were staying at his moms house for Christmas and we cried and had great sex, but the next step for us was to move in together and sign a 1 year lease, not announce to the world that we intended to enter a legally binding contract!! Over the next five years we had many conversations about The Future but something changed in the last year for both of us where we felt like if we were to get married it would no longer have anything to do with any sort of cultural pressure to do it, and we both had that thought independently, I decided after discussing with a friend and my therapist that I would make a romantic gesture so that Sam would feel cherished and swept off his feet, I did it, then we officially got engaged with rings and began telling family and close friends. It’s been a month and today was the first time he told his dad, and I still need to tell my grandma which I’ve been putting off bc of how delighted she will be (bc misogyny). Our plan is to post on socials (ugh) in the next few days, before he plays at a festival next week where we will tell lots of friends. So that’s what our process has been like, for perspective!

I think many people who grew up with more “traditional” family values would consider that first conversation at around 6 months-2 years an engagement, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but we did not bc we are both careless men’s careful daughters… I am not yet in my thirties, and I am not Taylor swift, though!

[uniquejellyfishqueen]

The Lover House inside the snow globe which is surrounded by snowy trees in the night time, midnight I presume. The lover house has 9 rooms telling a different story within each room, the lover house could be a vault.

(Lavender Haze is also LH same as Lover House, and its also track 1 of Midnights 113 which was 7/9/2024 N1 Zurich. The surprise songs 1st letter of each song are SLAR -> side-looking airborne radar. An aircraft, or satellite-mounted imaging radar pointing perpendicular to the direction of the flight (hence side-looking)

L 12

H 8

Woods = trees = folklore and evermore (t+e+f = her brother does call her Teffy according to 73QWV.) *10/13/1992 Prince released his first album using a symbol rather than his name. It’s beautiful but sad. The industry made him into a symbol so if thats what you’re going to see and say then why would he ever say anything different. It was a traditional symbol that blended the female and the male symbols together… like unity in one, I love this so much. This album had 5 singles released for it, of those 5 2 were released on 11/17/1992. “7’ and “ Damn You”

*maybe she will change her name. Travis calls her Tay, so maybe Debut will be called “Tay” or maybe she will use a symbol? You never know.

*songs that mention “trees” in their lyrics include “The Best Day” “Out Of The Woods” “Happiness” “Christmas Tree Farm”

Are we out of the woods yet? (4th track of the 5th album)

4th album is Red. Inside the lover house in the red room she does sing the line about being jealous while her and her lover are on separate sides of the room. They are only together in private. Like this is her showing you the illicit affair and high infidelity she has talked about? ->The “Red Room” can also be a nod to Taylor’s connection to the 50 Shades of Gray franchise. “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” was the lead single (12/9/2016) for the second installment 50 Shades Darker which released on 2/10/2017.

OOTW played 7x on the ET. 5/6/23, 11/11/23, 5/10/24, 6/23/24, 7/14/24, & 10/20/24, & 11/16/2024.

OOTW says “woods” 37x

ET #37 she played SS with Speak Now (3rd album 5th track) Dear John and Lover (7th album 18 track) Daylight -> 518 is the area code for northeastern part of New York State. serves cities in Albany and its neighboring suburbs, such as Plattsburgh and Lake Placid, and includes all or part of 17 counties in eastern upstate New York

“Looking at it now last December”(5th album) “I go back to December” (3rd album) (5+3=8) 2941?

-> -> -> when she goes back to December is that during August (4 month difference counting backward from December to August. m=13…) 4/13 N1/3 Tampa, FL show #8)

-> December to August (counting forward is 8 months) 8+4=12

Are we out of the woods yet? Who is WE? Her and her lover. Or her and the memories she has of this person and they only come out at night when she gives into the vices that she feels like she has to use to show who she really is? She said they are all bored waiting for trains that aren’t coming, and she also said how romantic it was to be stranded. Is she safe in hiding her truth? If she was a functioning alcoholic with a new aesthetic does this mean that the upside down yellow room signify where she would use the vices to help her play the game when she was actually fearless all along.

If it’s set at midnight in the snowglobe maybe they are twin flames that only meet in their dreams.

Also I want to point out that her sexuality is her sexuality but with that being said I just wanna say that during scenes with her lover in the Lover Video he is a black man, and that little girl reminds me of Gabby from Gabby’s Dollhouse (Char loves it!) and also the dollhouse reminds me of the lover house.. the red N for Netflix that folds down, kinda looks like a scarf. The Me! Music video reminded me so much of Hairspray which was set in the year 1962, which has the theme of acceptance and inclusion but also deals with racism and bias. This musical also had the themes of social activism and self-love. And the biggest theme of all is media bias. What a time to be alive, every afternoon when the clock strikes 4.. iykyk. All of these themes are applicable for today’s world and has been since Hairspray was released. Just because someone printed something in the news to make it look like a pretty headline does not mean the overall problem has gone away. Creating news headlines to induce fear does nothing but separate this country more and more when we need to be coming together most. We want to bitch and moan about pot holes and roads cracking, we can’t keep our people together how in the hell are we going to take care of our environment?

Is Taylor Swift about to be the new Corny Collins.. holy shit no she will be the Lynn Stone from Girls Just Want to Have Fun. I can see her now riding in on her pony. But that was Dance TV.. what are you guys up to?

The vault tracks are going to be fire because the fire was already burning but we definitely didn’t start it but I think someone knows a fireman.

*The Spotify canvas for False god has her climbing the pull down ladder that goes to the attic of the Lover House. Is this an interpretation that what she once believed to be heaven is actually hell?

[bisluthq]

I think it's also a bit easy for us to forget too that even if her and Travis have been together technically for almost a year, a lot of the that time wasn't exactly in person and in person interaction. Specially in the first months. In july-august she was legit busy with her tour and there were people back in the day that tried to pierced together when they could have met in August and there weren't a lot of options. During football season atleast until like december, she also wasn't doing the housewife thing and wait for him everynight after pratice. She was constantly being seen in NY during the week. The longest time she spent with him during that time was the christmas week into NYD.

So realistically it seems like they were only able to spend actual time together in March and April when they were both off and lived together. Well she wasn't exactly off but you know what I mean. Plus their highly photographed vacation trip.

We're in May now and apparently he might be able to follow her around a bit since he's the off one, but yeah people like to point out it has been an year and surely they were in contact all the time but it has been a bit of long distance and when they met it's not like they had a phase of having time to be together right away ykwim.

As much as Taylor tried to say in September they were already a couple and they had time to know each other off the radar, it was like less than two months in reality. So they went from not knowing each other to jump into a relationship in two months. In the same year homegirl had broken up with two people. It might not have happened overlap, but it sure as heck doesn't scream healthy to me as much as swifties want to call it that

it’s hectic but by tay standards very healthy lol compared to the last couple dudes.

[kitebird-hockey]

Okay! This list got a little out of hand, whoops. Pick whatever sounds fun to you. I tried to include fics featuring a number of popular tropes and from several different "eras." Feel free to ask follow-up questions (or run away in terror).

"die verwandlung" by astronicht 10k. Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk

The ratification, a brief Californication, and the post-post friendship tour of Matthew Tkachuk. Or, Leon Draisaitl's ongoing adventures with North American fauna.

This fic is an excellent example of one of hockey rpf fandom's favorite tropes: animal transformation. It's also an excellent example of MattDrai, a very popular enemies-to-lovers pairing!

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"Wins Above Replacement" by bossyicynerd 22k. Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick

The author calls this "a love letter to hockey fandom." It's an AU where Nolan is not a player, but instead writes for "the fourth most popular [team] blog" while working a shitty retail job and carrying on an online correspondence with some anonymous guy with lots of hockey opinions...

Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick was a huge, if brief, pairing on the hockey rpf scene circa 2020, 2021. This fic is a good introduction to both those characters and to the fandom.

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"Friday Night Arrives Without A Suitcase" by marycontraire 15k. Danny Brière/Claude Giroux.

Once upon a time (like 2011) Danny and Claude played for the Flyers together. Danny got divorced and immediately invited Claude to move in with him. Claude moved in with him, helped co-parent his kids, and they sent out a Christmas card "from the Briouxs." When a lockout happened, they played hockey in Berlin together. This fic is about that time in Berlin together. It's a classic pairing with lots of domesticity and kidfic. This one is a reverse!curtain fic, kind of?

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time for the inhuman race by wrishwrosh 5k. Erik Johnson/Nathan MacKinnon

Josty matches with a vamp on Tinder, and it's all downhill from there. Vignettes in the life of Nate Dogg, accidental vampire interviewer.

This fic is so dear to me. Hilarious and a pitch-perfect Colorado Avalanche ensemble from the era of that team that is beloved to me. Incredible worldbuilding here for a fic where the author's note says "dumb immortality jokes ONLY. NO vampire worldbuilding and NO deep questions about the nature of eternity."

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Closed Fracture by lightgetsin 6k. Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

"You're on Puck Daddy," Taylor said, instead of a greeting. Sidney sank back into the pillows. "So? What's new?" "The headline is 'Best Hockey Player in the World Sidney Crosby Taken Out by Eight Year Old, Breaks Arm in Mite Hockey Game.'"

Sid and Geno are one of the juggernaut pairings of this fandom. They've been playing together for almost 20 years! There are, to some extent, two phases of fic about them: earlier (late 2000s-mid 2010s) and recent (mid-late 2010s onwards). I admit my favorite examples of early-career fic for them are all way, way over 10 to 15k. ("and never been kissed" is a fandom classic for a reason, but it's like 200k, lol.) This is a cute fic and a good example of early Sid/Geno fic dynamics.

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"Flip Shut, Hang Up" by thehoyden, twentysomething 4k. Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin.

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

This is another great example of early Sid/Geno fic (featuring interfering Russians, another popular trope). It's set during the last lockout, during which Crosby was part of the team of players negotiating with league management and Geno was playing in Russia. "Zhenya" is also Geno. The Alex/Sasha in this fic is Alex Ovechkin, star player on a rival team.

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"here comes the spark" by saysthemagpie 22k. Sidney Crosby/Anna Kasterova/Evgeni Malkin

Sid had typed out multiple texts in those first few agonizing weeks, but nothing looked right. Sorry I slept with your wife. Sorry I did it while you watched—I thought, for some reason, that was what you both wanted.

This is a great fic full of feelings! Friends-to-lovers with an OT3 endgame. It packs so much into 22k. It's also an excellent example of later-career Sid/Geno fic!

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"A Case Study in Non-Traditional Pack Dynamics" by 7iris 7k. Carey Price/PK Subban.

"Well, you're going to have to bring him along anyway," Kayla says. "Bring me where?" PK asks, flipping his menu open. "The Greater Pacific Northwest Werewolf Symposium," Kayla says. "Duh."

I had to put at least ONE Carey/PK fic on this list. They LOVE each other okay and I'm still not over them both retiring. This fic is a canon-plus-werewolves fic and uses a lot of tropes from Teen Wolf fic, so it should feel familiar! It's a great fake-dating story.

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"You So Quite New" by knight_tracer, thefourthvine 27k. Paul Kariya/Teemu Selänne/Sirpa Selänne.

This fic is a fae!AU that is, in large part, about disability. Some years after Paul retired from hockey due to complications from repeated concussions, Paul and Teemu have to swap bodies.

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"Hockey at the End of the World" by ionthesparrow 25k. Jeff Carter/Mike Richards

Dystopian AU featuring plenty of even-more-violent-than-irl hockey. The Ballad of Carts and Richie (actual words a newspaper used once) is one of the greatest bromances of hockeydom, and this fic is one of the best written for them. I feel the word "gripping" is overused but I can't think of any other way to describe this fic!

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"catch and release" by lagyeggplant. 14k. Mathew Barzal/Anthony Beauvillier

Tagged "the mortifying ordeal of your best bro seeing your nudes." Ladyegg writes spectacular fic and does the best bro voice I've ever come across. Incredible, hilarious sports bro narrative voice every time (along with hot smut).

What kind of hockey fic are you looking for? Short, long? Is explicit a problem? Are you into enemies to lovers or domesticity or animal transformation or werewolves or do you want something completely off the wall bonkers?

Truth be told. Im not a hockey watcher and don't really know much about the players or teams or anything but I've heard how amazing the fic is and I do want to start watch hockey next season so something that is a good intro maybe?

Explicit is fine with me, I do enjoy it but its also fine if it doesn't have smut. For length I would say no more than like 10k to 15k or several shorter fics that total that?

I love all the tropes. I don't have any squicks or triggers but I think since I don't know the lore something canon or hockey related would be good to start with but I trust your judgement on that because I love a good au as much as the next person

My fic reading history for context is (in no particular order) teen wolf, supernatural, one direction, patd, 5sos, and currently men's soccer rpf

So do with that what you will.

Thank you so much for answering me!! I'm so thrilled that you did! ☺️🫶

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift Debuts at #1 on Hot 100 With 'Cardigan,' Is 1st Artist to Open Atop Hot 100 & Billboard 200 in Same Week

By: Gary Trust for Billboard Date: August 3rd 2020

Plus, the set's "The 1" & "Exile" open in the Hot 100's top 10.

Taylor Swift's "Cardigan" blasts in at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 songs chart.

The song is from Swift's new LP Folklore, which launches at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart, as Swift becomes the first artist ever to debut at No. 1 on both the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 in the same week.

Folklore was released July 24 on Republic Records, after being first teased by Swift only the day before. "Cardigan" is joined by two other songs from the set that debut in the Hot 100's top 10: "The 1," at No. 4, and "Exile," featuring Bon Iver, at No. 6.

"Cardigan," the 1,106th No. 1 in the Hot 100's 62-year history, enters with 34 million U.S. streams and 71,000 downloads sold in the week ending July 30, according to Nielsen Music/MRC Data. It concurrently debuts atop both the Streaming Songs and Digital Song Sales charts. The song also drew 12.7 million in all-format radio airplay audience in the week ending Aug. 2.

Here are 13 (famously Swift's favorite number) notable achievements surrounding the chart arrival of Folklore and its songs.

1) First artist ever to debut atop Hot 100 & Billboard 200 simultaneously: With "Cardigan" and Folklore, Swift is the first artist to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 in the same week. The Billboard 200 began on March 24, 1956, and the Hot 100 originated on Aug. 4, 1958.

2) 41st song to debut at No. 1 on Hot 100: "Cardigan" is the 41st song to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100. It's Swift's second, after "Shake It Off" on the chart dated Sept. 6, 2014.

Swift is the seventh artist with multiple No. 1 Hot 100 entrances, joining Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Drake, Ariana Grande (the leaders with three each), Travis Scott and Britney Spears (two each). Meanwhile, "Cardigan" is the sixth song to debut atop the Hot 100 in 2020, extending the record for the most in a single year. Four songs each started at No. 1 in both 2018 and 1995.

3) Swift's sixth No. 1: Swift scores her sixth Hot 100 leader. Here's a recap:

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," three weeks, beginning Sept. 1, 2012 "Shake It Off," four weeks, beginning Sept. 6, 2014 "Blank Space," seven weeks, beginning Nov. 29, 2014 "Bad Blood," feat. Kendrick Lamar, one week, June 6, 2015 "Look What You Made Me Do," three weeks, beginning Sept. 16, 2017 "Cardigan," one week to-date, Aug. 8, 2020

Swift is the 26th artist in the Hot 100's history with at least six No. 1s, and the ninth solo woman. The Beatles lead all acts with 20 No. 1s, followed by Carey with 19.

4) First woman to debut two songs in top five simultaneously: With "Cardigan" at No. 1 and "The 1" at No. 4, Swift is the first woman, and third act overall, to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top five simultaneously. Lil Wayne first earned the honor with "Mona Lisa," featuring Kendrick Lamar (No. 2), and "Don't Cry," featuring XXXTentacion (No. 5), on Oct. 13, 2018. Just two weeks ago, on the July 25 chart, the late Juice WRLD entered at Nos. 2 and 5, respectively, with "Come & Go," with Marshmello, and "Wishing Well."

Swift is, thus, the first artist to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top four spots simultaneously.

5) Three debuts in top 10: As "Cardigan," "The 1" and "Exile" arrive at Nos. 1, 4 and 6, respectively, Swift debuts three songs in the Hot 100's top 10 simultaneously for the first time. She's the sixth artist to accomplish the feat, following Drake (July 14, 2018), Lil Wayne (Oct. 13, 2018) and Juice WRLD (July 25), who share the record with four debuts each in the top 10 simultaneously, and J. Cole (May 5, 2018) and Lil Uzi Vert (March 21, 2020), each with three.

Further, Swift is the first artist to debut three songs in the Hot 100's top six spots in a single week.

6) Swift up to 28 career top 10s, tied for sixth-most: Swift swells her count of career Hot 100 top 10s from 25 to 28, tying Mariah Carey and Stevie Wonder for the sixth-best sum.

Here is a recap of the acts with the most Hot 100 top 10s, dating to the chart's Aug. 4, 1958, inception (two years after Elvis Presley's commercial breakthrough):

Most Hot 100 Top 10s 40, Drake 38, Madonna 34, The Beatles 31, Rihanna 30, Michael Jackson 28, Mariah Carey 28, Taylor Swift 28, Stevie Wonder 27, Elton John 27, Janet Jackson 25, Lil Wayne 25, Elvis Presley

7) 18 career top 10 debuts: Swift extends her record among women for the most debuts in the Hot 100's top 10, as her three new arrivals lift her total to 18. Among all acts, only Drake has more: 25.

8) 16 songs from Folklore hit Hot 100: Swift sends the entirety of the standard edition of Folklore onto the Hot 100, as its 16 songs enter the chart, from "Cardigan" at No. 1 to album closer "Hoax" at No. 71.

Folklore is Swift's second consecutive album whose standard version has fully infused the Hot 100: 18 songs from Lover, which soared in atop the Billboard 200 dated Sept. 7, 2019, charted on the Hot 100 the same week.

9) Swift passes Nicki Minaj for most Hot 100 entries among women: Swift surges from 97 career Hot 100 entries to 113, passing Nicki Minaj (110) for the most among women. Swift also becomes the 10th act with at least 100 Hot 100 entries, as she ascends to the fourth-best total. Here's an updated leaderboard:

Most Hot 100 Entries 224, Drake 207, Glee Cast 169, Lil Wayne 113, Taylor Swift 111, Future 110, Nicki Minaj 109, Elvis Presley 108, Kanye West 101, Chris Brown 100, Jay-Z

10) First solo woman at No. 1 since January: "Cardigan" is the first Hot 100 No. 1 billed solely to one woman since Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" logged three weeks on top from Dec. 21, 2019, through Jan. 4. Before that, Selena Gomez's "Lose You to Love Me" led the Nov. 9 list.

11) 'Cardigan' No. 1 in streams & sales: With 34 million U.S. streams and 71,000 sold in the week ending July 30, "Cardigan" starts as the most-streamed and top-selling song of the week. Swift scores her third Streaming Songs No. 1 and her record-extending 20th Digital Song Sales No. 1, furthering her lead on the latter list over runner-up Rihanna (14).

12) Radio tries on 'Cardigan': "Cardigan" drew 12.7 million in radio airplay audience in its first full week, ending Aug. 2. It rises 26-17 on the Adult Pop Songs airplay chart and debuts at No. 19 on Adult Contemporary and No. 27 on Pop Songs.

13) Bon Iver's first Hot 100 top 10: With "Exile" debuting at No. 6 on the Hot 100, Bon Iver earns its first top 10 on the chart. The act, fronted by Justin Vernon, previously charted two titles, both in 2010 as featured on songs on Kanye West's album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, led by the No. 18-peaking "Monster," also featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross and Minaj.

[writseo]

Felix Weston

💛 - Platonic | 💖 - Romantic |  💜 - Family 

Headcanons

Specifics

💖 Felix X Trans(FTM)!Reader | Coming Out To Him 

💖 Felix X Bisexual!Reader 

💖 Felix X Shy!Nerdy!Reader 

💖 Felix X Suicidal!Reader

💖 Felix X Male!Reader | Dealing With Homophobia (Coming Soon) 

Regular 

💖 Being Childhood Bestfriends To Lovers

💖 Regular Friends To More 

💖 First Date 

💖 Being Bestfriends With Victor While Dating 

💖 Dealing With Anxiety 

💖 Adopting A Squirrel Together 

💖 Christmas Presents

Song Drabbles 

💖 Feelings by Travis Scott

💖 Seven by Taylor Swift  

💖 Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo 

< Back To Love, Victor Masterlist 

[ts1989fanatic]

Here are 13 (famously Swift's favorite number) notable achievements surrounding the chart arrival of Folklore and its songs.

First artist ever to debut atop Hot 100 & Billboard 200 simultaneously: With "Cardigan" and Folklore, Swift is the first artist to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 in the same week. The Billboard 200 began on March 24, 1956, and the Hot 100 originated on Aug. 4, 1958.

41st song to debut at No. 1 on Hot 100: "Cardigan" is the 41st song to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100. It's Swift's second, after "Shake It Off" on the chart dated Sept. 6, 2014.

Swift is the eighth artist with multiple No. 1 Hot 100 entrances, joining Ariana Grande (the leader with four), Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Drake (three each), Lady Gaga, Travis Scott and Britney Spears (two each).

Meanwhile, "Cardigan" is the sixth song to debut atop the Hot 100 in 2020, extending the record for the most in a single year. Four songs each started at No. 1 in both 2018 and 1995.

Swift's sixth No. 1: Swift scores her sixth Hot 100 leader. Here's a recap:

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," three weeks, beginning Sept. 1, 2012

"Shake It Off," four weeks, beginning Sept. 6, 2014

"Blank Space," seven weeks, beginning Nov. 29, 2014

"Bad Blood," feat. Kendrick Lamar, one week, June 6, 2015

"Look What You Made Me Do," three weeks, beginning Sept. 16, 2017

"Cardigan," one week to-date, Aug. 8, 2020

Swift is the 26th artist in the Hot 100's history with at least six No. 1s, and the ninth solo woman. The Beatles lead all acts with 20 No. 1s, followed by Carey with 19.

First woman to debut two songs in top five simultaneously: With "Cardigan" at No. 1 and "The 1" at No. 4, Swift is the first woman, and third act overall, to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top five simultaneously.

Lil Wayne first earned the honor with "Mona Lisa," featuring Kendrick Lamar (No. 2), and "Don't Cry," featuring XXXTentacion (No. 5), on Oct. 13, 2018. Just two weeks ago, on the July 25 chart, the late Juice WRLD entered at Nos. 2 and 5, respectively, with "Come & Go," with Marshmello, and "Wishing Well."

Swift is, thus, the first artist to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top four spots simultaneously.

Three debuts in top 10: As "Cardigan," "The 1" and "Exile" arrive at Nos. 1, 4 and 6, respectively, Swift debuts three songs in the Hot 100's top 10 simultaneously for the first time. She's the sixth artist to accomplish the feat, following Drake (July 14, 2018), Lil Wayne (Oct. 13, 2018) and Juice WRLD (July 25), who share the record with four debuts each in the top 10 simultaneously, and J. Cole (May 5, 2018) and Lil Uzi Vert (March 21, 2020), each with three.

Further, Swift is the first artist to debut three songs in the Hot 100's top six spots in a single week.

Swift up to 28 career top 10s, tied for sixth-most: Swift swells her count of career Hot 100 top 10s from 25 to 28, tying Mariah Carey and Stevie Wonder for the sixth-best sum.

Here is a recap of the acts with the most Hot 100 top 10s, dating to the chart's Aug. 4, 1958, inception (two years after Elvis Presley's commercial breakthrough):

Most Hot 100 Top 10s

40, Drake

38, Madonna

34, The Beatles

31, Rihanna

30, Michael Jackson

28, Mariah Carey

28, Taylor Swift

28, Stevie Wonder

27, Elton John

27, Janet Jackson

25, Lil Wayne

25, Elvis Presley

18 career top 10 debuts: Swift extends her record among women for the most debuts in the Hot 100's top 10, as her three new arrivals lift her total to 18. Among all acts, only Drake has more: 25.

16 songs from Folklore hit Hot 100: Swift sends the entirety of the standard edition of Folklore onto the Hot 100, as its 16 songs enter the chart, from "Cardigan" at No. 1 to album closer "Hoax" at No. 71.

Folklore is Swift's second consecutive album whose standard version has fully infused the Hot 100: 18 songs from Lover, which soared in atop the Billboard 200 dated Sept. 7, 2019, charted on the Hot 100 the same week.

Swift passes Nicki Minaj for most Hot 100 entries among women: Swift surges from 97 career Hot 100 entries to 113, passing Nicki Minaj (110) for the most among women.

Swift also becomes the 10th act with at least 100 Hot 100 entries, as she ascends to the fourth-best total. Here's an updated leaderboard:

Most Hot 100 Entries

224, Drake

207, Glee Cast

169, Lil Wayne

113, Taylor Swift

111, Future

110, Nicki Minaj

109, Elvis Presley

108, Kanye West

101, Chris Brown

100, Jay-Z

First solo woman at No. 1 since January: "Cardigan" is the first Hot 100 No. 1 billed solely to one woman since Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" logged three weeks on top from Dec. 21, 2019, through Jan. 4. Before that, Selena Gomez's "Lose You to Love Me" led the Nov. 9 list.

'Cardigan' No. 1 in streams & sales: With 34 million U.S. streams and 71,000 sold in the week ending July 30, "Cardigan" starts as the most-streamed and top-selling song of the week. Swift scores her third Streaming Songs No. 1 and her record-extending 20th Digital Song Sales No. 1, furthering her lead on the latter list over runner-up Rihanna (14).

"Cardigan" was on sale in Swift's webstore via multiple physical/digital combination offerings during the tracking week, ending July 30, including an alternate "Cabin in Candlelight" version released July 29. Consumers could purchase CD and vinyl singles, each with a digital download; the download would be sent to consumers upon purchase, with physical versions due to arrive at a later date.

Radio tries on 'Cardigan': "Cardigan" drew 12.7 million in radio airplay audience in its first full week, ending Aug. 2. It rises 26-17 on the Adult Pop Songs airplay chart and debuts at No. 19 on Adult Contemporary and No. 27 on Pop Songs.

Bon Iver's first Hot 100 top 10: With "Exile" debuting at No. 6 on the Hot 100, Bon Iver earns its first top 10 on the chart. The act, fronted by Justin Vernon, previously charted two titles, both in 2010 as featured on songs on Kanye West's album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, led by the No. 18-peaking "Monster," also featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross and Minaj.

"Cardigan" dethrones DaBaby's seven-week Hot 100 leader "Rockstar," featuring Roddy Ricch. The track holds at No. 2 on the Radio Songs chart (67.9 million, up 10%) and dips to No. 3 on Streaming Songs, after nine weeks at No. 1 (32.9 million, down 9%), and 5-7 on Digital Song Sales (10,000, down 6%).

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (12.11-12.17.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·         PVRIS dropped a symbolic new video for “Old Wounds,” a song from their EP Hallucinations, which was released in October. The video features two individuals peeling back the layers of one another along with some shots of nature and space.

·         Poppy dropped her fourth single and video last Wednesday for a song titled “Fill the Crown,” which consists of numerous allusions and ultimately pays tribute to the 1957 film classic, The Seventh Seal. The song will appear on her forthcoming album, I Disagree.

·         Neo-classic rockers Coheed and Cambria released the video for “Toys,” a track from their 2018 Unheavenly Creatures album. The clip, titled “The Unheavenly Christmas Carol,” was developed by C&C CEO Claudio Sanchez and directed by Alek Wasilewski.

·         Drive-Thru Records broke a stint of silence by launching an Instagram account to announce a classic compilation is heading to vinyl. The vinyl version of Welcome to the Family still features the Godfather-inspired artwork and a full-size custom-printed pizza box, just like the original CD.

·         Set It Off dropped a surprise B-side called “Catch Me If You Can.” Frontman Cody Carson and drummer Maxx Danziger began teasing some sort of news on Twitter on Thursday, which ended up being the new song.

·         Roughly a month after parting ways with Black Veil Brides, Ashley Purdy dropped his first solo track. The song is called “Nowhere,” and Purdy has continued to tease new music since his departure.

·         Blink-182 drummer and mixmaster Travis Barker has formed a new label, DTA, a joint venture with Elektra Records. The label’s first release is “Gimme Brain,” a collaboration between Lil Wayne and Rick Ross.

·         In celebration of Taylor Swift’s 30th birthday, Something Merry gathered some talented artists to cover her instant hit album Red. Dan Campbell of the Wonder Years sings his rendition of “All Too Well,” with the album also featuring Future Teens, Adult Mom and Chris Farren.

·         Craig Owens released a heartfelt Christmas track “It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way” just in time for the holidays. The former Chiodos singer hopes the track can lift people’s spirits when they’re feeling down this season.

·         Metalcore newcomers It Comes in Waves have dropped a new song “Wolf in Disguise” with a gnarly feature from Sleeping with Sirens vocalist Kellin Quinn. The new track shows off a deep driving guitar line coupled with a nasty breakdown to cap things off.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:    

·         Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl got into the Christmas spirit this year by shotgunning a beer with Santa Claus at a recent show. The man in the suit was a fan attending the Intersect Festival on December 7th.

·         The Used unleashed details for an intimate club tour in 2020, with the band hitting select venues to play the smallest rooms they’ve played in more than a decade. Dragged Under will join the band as support.

·         Green Day played an intimate show in Costa Mesa, California, as the Coverups, a side project of the members. The cover set by the band consisted of hits by Misfits and the Ramones, as well as many other punk classics.

·         Bad Religion are celebrating 40 years of punk-rock incisiveness by teaming up with Alkaline Trio for a spring co-headlining tour next year. The campaign starts March 26th at the Palladium in Los Angeles and ends April 19th at the Eagles Club in Milwaukee.

·         After the departure of Ashley Purdy and the addition of their new bassist, Black Veil Brides continued to reveal new show dates for next year. The band announced more concerts in Europe after their upcoming North American tour in 2020.

·         Tiny Moving Parts announced a U.S. tour with Belmont, Capstan and Jetty Bones, kicking off the tour in March with a Wisconsin date and traveling the country until mid-April. Each of the bands made the huge announcement on social media.

·         This week, Dance Gavin Dance frontman Tilian Pearson revealed Issues will be joining them as the “mystery band” on their upcoming tour. Pearson gave them the seal of approval by saying he’s “been a fan for a while now.”

·         Green Day played the 2019 Game Awards last Thursday. The Hall of Fame rockers played their hit song “Welcome to Paradise” before kicking into the titular track of their upcoming album, Father of All…

OTHER NEWS:  

·        Crocs and Post Malone released their fourth collaborative silhouette, “Post Malone X Crocs Duet Max Clog,” last Tuesday. After going on sale, Crocs announced on Twitter about an hour after the release that the shoes have sold out.

·         One Panic! at the Disco fan got the surprise of her life when the frontman actually responded to a letter she sent, sending back his autograph as a wedding gift. Twitter user Erica Veon sent Urie an invite, along with a letter on “how much his music means” to her.

·         Paramore took to Instagram, sharing a year-end post reflecting on the band’s time together before clarifying it didn’t mean a breakup was in store. Fans took to Twitter and expressed their excitement about the post as well.

·         Yellowcard’s lawsuit against late emo rapper Juice WRLD for alleged copyright infringement has been put on hold. The members of Yellowcard are being represented by lawyer Richard Busch, who told Digital Music News that the lawsuit has been paused.

·         In the wake of angry fans sending tweets last week regarding Brand New’s absence on Spotify Wrapped, the company decided to shadow fix the issue. Social media posts have since come in, showing the band being included in users’ playlists.

·         YUNGBLUD shared his heartfelt short film Lonely Together, where he expressed struggles of finding himself and living in a society where not everyone is accepted. The singer is known to stand up for his beliefs when it comes to fashion, politics, individuality and more.

·         My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way curated a playlist of all of the music he enjoyed this year. The playlist in on Spotify and is titled “Music New & Old That I Enjoyed This Year,” featuring both new and old hits.

·         This weekend, Crown the Empire vocalist Andy Leo threw it back to 2009 by embracing this year’s 10-year challenge with close friend Post Malone. He kept the nostalgia going by sharing a photo to his feed with the caption “The only 2009 vs 2019 that ever mattered.”

·         Blink-182‘s management company announced they will be going to court to settle the $500,000 lawsuit against them from Fyre Festival. The festival is attempting to win back the $14.4 million they originally paid to the lineup and influencers.

·         A photo of a Target pillow with a phrase used in Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness’ song “Cecilia and the Satellite” surfaced online, and the singer says he hasn’t been asked for permission. The pillow features the phrase “For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.”

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[taylorswifthongkong]

Plus, the set's "The 1" & "Exile" open in the Hot 100's top 10.

Taylor Swift's "Cardigan" blasts in at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 songs chart.

The song is from Swift's new LP Folklore, which launches at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart, as Swift becomes the first artist ever to debut at No. 1 on both the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 in the same week.

Folklore was released July 24 on Republic Records, after being first teased by Swift only the day before.

"Cardigan" is joined by two other songs from the set that debut in the Hot 100's top 10: "The 1," at No. 4, and "Exile," featuring Bon Iver, at No. 6.

Plus, Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo's "Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)" enters the Hot 100's top 10, rising 12-10.

Let's run down the top 10 of the newest Hot 100, which blends all-genre U.S. streaming, radio airplay and sales data. All charts (dated Aug. 8) will update on Billboard.com tomorrow (Aug. 4).

"Cardigan," the 1,106th No. 1 in the Hot 100's 62-year history, enters with 34 million U.S. streams and 71,000 downloads sold in the week ending July 30, according to Nielsen Music/MRC Data. It concurrently debuts atop both the Streaming Songs and Digital Song Sales charts.

The song also drew 12.7 million in all-format radio airplay audience in the week ending Aug. 2.

Here are 13 (famously Swift's favorite number) notable achievements surrounding the chart arrival of Folklore and its songs.

First artist ever to debut atop Hot 100 & Billboard 200 simultaneously: With "Cardigan" and Folklore, Swift is the first artist to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100 and Billboard 200 in the same week. The Billboard 200 began on March 24, 1956, and the Hot 100 originated on Aug. 4, 1958.

41st song to debut at No. 1 on Hot 100: "Cardigan" is the 41st song to debut at No. 1 on the Hot 100. It's Swift's second, after "Shake It Off" on the chart dated Sept. 6, 2014.

Swift is the seventh artist with multiple No. 1 Hot 100 entrances, joining Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Drake, Ariana Grande (the leaders with three each), Travis Scott and Britney Spears (two each).

Meanwhile, "Cardigan" is the sixth song to debut atop the Hot 100 in 2020, extending the record for the most in a single year. Four songs each started at No. 1 in both 2018 and 1995.

Swift's sixth No. 1: Swift scores her sixth Hot 100 leader. Here's a recap:

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," three weeks, beginning Sept. 1, 2012 "Shake It Off," four weeks, beginning Sept. 6, 2014 "Blank Space," seven weeks, beginning Nov. 29, 2014 "Bad Blood," feat. Kendrick Lamar, one week, June 6, 2015 "Look What You Made Me Do," three weeks, beginning Sept. 16, 2017 "Cardigan," one week to-date, Aug. 8, 2020

Swift is the 26th artist in the Hot 100's history with at least six No. 1s, and the ninth solo woman. The Beatles lead all acts with 20 No. 1s, followed by Carey with 19.

First woman to debut two songs in top five simultaneously: With "Cardigan" at No. 1 and "The 1" at No. 4, Swift is the first woman, and third act overall, to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top five simultaneously.

Lil Wayne first earned the honor with "Mona Lisa," featuring Kendrick Lamar (No. 2), and "Don't Cry," featuring XXXTentacion (No. 5), on Oct. 13, 2018. Just two weeks ago, on the July 25 chart, the late Juice WRLD entered at Nos. 2 and 5, respectively, with "Come & Go," with Marshmello, and "Wishing Well."

Swift is, thus, the first artist to debut two songs in the Hot 100's top four spots simultaneously.

Three debuts in top 10: As "Cardigan," "The 1" and "Exile" arrive at Nos. 1, 4 and 6, respectively, Swift debuts three songs in the Hot 100's top 10 simultaneously for the first time. She's the sixth artist to accomplish the feat, following Drake (July 14, 2018), Lil Wayne (Oct. 13, 2018) and Juice WRLD (July 25), who share the record with four debuts each in the top 10 simultaneously, and J. Cole (May 5, 2018) and Lil Uzi Vert (March 21, 2020), each with three.

Further, Swift is the first artist to debut three songs in the Hot 100's top six spots in a single week.

Swift up to 28 career top 10s, tied for sixth-most: Swift swells her count of career Hot 100 top 10s from 25 to 28, tying Mariah Carey and Stevie Wonder for the sixth-best sum.

Here is a recap of the acts with the most Hot 100 top 10s, dating to the chart's Aug. 4, 1958, inception (two years after Elvis Presley's commercial breakthrough):

Most Hot 100 Top 10s 40, Drake 38, Madonna 34, The Beatles 31, Rihanna 30, Michael Jackson 28, Mariah Carey 28, Taylor Swift 28, Stevie Wonder 27, Elton John 27, Janet Jackson 25, Lil Wayne 25, Elvis Presley

18 career top 10 debuts: Swift extends her record among women for the most debuts in the Hot 100's top 10, as her three new arrivals lift her total to 18. Among all acts, only Drake has more: 25.

16 songs from Folklore hit Hot 100: Swift sends the entirety of the standard edition of Folklore onto the Hot 100, as its 16 songs enter the chart, from "Cardigan" at No. 1 to album closer "Hoax" at No. 71.

Folklore is Swift's second consecutive album whose standard version has fully infused the Hot 100: 18 songs from Lover, which soared in atop the Billboard 200 dated Sept. 7, 2019, charted on the Hot 100 the same week.

Swift passes Nicki Minaj for most Hot 100 entries among women: Swift surges from 97 career Hot 100 entries to 113, passing Nicki Minaj (110) for the most among women.

Swift also becomes the 10th act with at least 100 Hot 100 entries, as she ascends to the fourth-best total. Here's an updated leaderboard:

Most Hot 100 Entries 224, Drake 207, Glee Cast 169, Lil Wayne 113, Taylor Swift 111, Future 110, Nicki Minaj 109, Elvis Presley 108, Kanye West 101, Chris Brown 100, Jay-Z

First solo woman at No. 1 since January: "Cardigan" is the first Hot 100 No. 1 billed solely to one woman since Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" logged three weeks on top from Dec. 21, 2019, through Jan. 4. Before that, Selena Gomez's "Lose You to Love Me" led the Nov. 9 list.

'Cardigan' No. 1 in streams & sales: With 34 million U.S. streams and 71,000 sold in the week ending July 30, "Cardigan" starts as the most-streamed and top-selling song of the week. Swift scores her third Streaming Songs No. 1 and her record-extending 20th Digital Song Sales No. 1, furthering her lead on the latter list over runner-up Rihanna (14).

"Cardigan" was on sale in Swift's webstore via multiple physical/digital combination offerings during the tracking week, ending July 30, including an alternate "Cabin in Candlelight" version released July 29. Consumers could purchase CD and vinyl singles, each with a digital download; the download would be sent to consumers upon purchase, with physical versions due to arrive at a later date.

Radio tries on 'Cardigan': "Cardigan" drew 12.7 million in radio airplay audience in its first full week, ending Aug. 2. It rises 26-17 on the Adult Pop Songs airplay chart and debuts at No. 19 on Adult Contemporary and No. 27 on Pop Songs.

Bon Iver's first Hot 100 top 10: With "Exile" debuting at No. 6 on the Hot 100, Bon Iver earns its first top 10 on the chart. The act, fronted by Justin Vernon, previously charted two titles, both in 2010 as featured on songs on Kanye West's album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, led by the No. 18-peaking "Monster," also featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross and Minaj.

"Cardigan" dethrones DaBaby's seven-week Hot 100 leader "Rockstar," featuring Roddy Ricch. The track holds at No. 2 on the Radio Songs chart (67.9 million, up 10%) and dips to No. 3 on Streaming Songs, after nine weeks at No. 1 (32.9 million, down 9%), and 5-7 on Digital Song Sales (10,000, down 6%).

"Rockstar" concurrently rules the multi-metric Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs and Hot Rap Songs charts for an eighth week each.

Jack Harlow's "Whats Poppin," featuring DaBaby, Tory Lanez and Lil Wayne, drops to No. 3 on the Hot 100 from its No. 2 high.

The Weeknd's "Blinding Lights" descends 4-5 on the Hot 100, following its four-week rule. It tops Radio Songs for a 17th frame (76.2 million in audience, up 2%), moving to within a week of potentially tying for the longest command since the chart started in December 1990.

Most Weeks at No. 1 on Radio Songs 18, "Iris," Goo Goo Dolls, beginning Aug. 1, 1998 17, "Blinding Lights," The Weeknd, April 18, 2020 16, "Girls Like You," Maroon 5 feat. Cardi B, Aug. 4, 2018 16, "We Belong Together," Mariah Carey, May 28, 2005 16, "Don't Speak," No Doubt, Dec. 7, 1996

"Blinding Lights" tops the multi-metric Hot R&B Songs chart for a record-tying 20th week. It joins three other songs for a share of the mark, including another by The Weeknd, dating to the list's October 2012 start: Drake's "One Dance," featuring WizKid and Kyla (2016); The Weeknd's "Starboy," featuring Daft Punk (2016-17); and Bruno Mars' "That's What I Like" (2017).

Harry Styles' "Watermelon Sugar" holds at its No. 7 Hot 100 high; SAINt JHN's "Roses" slides 5-8, after reaching No. 4; and Megan Thee Stallion's former one-week leader "Savage," featuring Beyoncé, falls 6-9.

Rounding out the Hot 100's top 10, Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo's "Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)" enters the tier, rising 12-10. The track retreats 3-4 on Digital Song Sales, although with a 14% advance to 13,000 sold, and 10-17 on Streaming Songs, but with a 1% gain to 17.9 million U.S. streams, while climbing 40-33 on Radio Songs (23.5 million, up 23%).

New Zealand producer Jawsh 685 (real name: Joshua Nanai) hits the Hot 100's top 10 in his first visit to the chart, while Derulo adds his seventh top 10 and first since the No. 5-peaking "Want to Want Me" in 2015.

(A "savage" garden: Three songs with "savage" in their titles have hit the Hot 100 all-time, and two of them rank back-to-back at Nos. 9 and 10 this week. The other? Rod Hart's "C.b. Savage," which reached No. 67 in 1977.)

For all chart news, you can follow @billboard and @billboardcharts on both Twitter and Instagram. And again, be sure to visit Billboard.com tomorrow (Aug. 8), when all charts, including the Hot 100 in its entirety, will refresh.

[bongaboi]

Kansas City Chiefs: Super Bowl LIV Champions

LEN DAWSON FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

“The excitement you’ve brought to this city reminds me of that magical season when we won the Super Bowl 50 years ago. It’s now your turn to bring the trophy home.” — Dawson, the Chiefs’ Super Bowl IV MVP and Hall of Famer, via KMBC-TV in a message to this year’s team

GEORGE BRETT ROYALS LEGEND, HALL OF FAMER

When we called him, he was running home to pick up his iPad so he could watch Chiefs highlights at the gym. “Well, what DON’T you like about the Chiefs? I watched the Chiefs’ comeback against the Texans the other day. Then I went home and I watched the Royals’ comeback in Game 4 (against the Astros in the 2015 American League playoffs). I’m going, how could this happen? To the same city, against the same city?”

MELISSA ETHERIDGE SINGER-SONGWRITER

This rock icon from Leavenworth has sung the national anthem at Arrowhead. How many people can say that?: “Last Sunday (Jan. 12, vs. Houston), when (Daniel) Sorensen made that tackle on the fake punt, my eyes welled up with tears because I felt it: that heart, that soul, that, ‘We are doing this for KC’ feel. It’s hard to describe, but it’s why I have been a fan since the 1970 Super Bowl.”

Join the conversation on Twitter Go to Twitter and tell us what you love about the Chiefs. We may use it in an upcoming story.

#MyChiefsLove DAVID KOECHNER ACTOR, COMEDIAN

Koechner, a native of Tipton, Missouri, who attended Mizzou, has an allegiance to the Chiefs that goes back to Christmas 1971 and their double-overtime playoff loss to the Dolphins. “Which we all know didn’t turn out right. Because the Dolphins cheated. A lot of people don’t know that,” he said with a laugh during a recent Facebook Live session with The Star. Count him among those enamored with this season’s team: “Wow, it just keeps getting better. You know, we had that little hitch in the middle of the season, but that’s the right time to have it. … You can’t help but think we’re in great shape.”

TECH N9NE RAPPER, ENTREPRENEUR

The rapper, producer and entrepreneur who’s still based in Kansas City, and whose lyrics often include nods to the city or things related to the region says, “What I love about our players is they are FEARLESS! Executing plays as if it were their very last game on Earth ... at least it feels that way to me!”

WENDY GUILLIES PRESIDENT/CEO, KAUFFMAN FOUNDATION

“In so many ways, this team reminds me of the 2015 Royals. It feels like their time — they have a will that’s undeniable and they find ways to win. They are quintessential Kansas City: full of heart.”

NED YOST FORMER ROYALS MANAGER

“I’m sitting here in Georgia, but Andy Reid is my coach, Patrick Mahomes is my quarterback, (Travis) Kelce’s my tight end.” He says this season’s Chiefs are like the 2015 World Series champion Royals because of how close they came the season before: “The experience gained is invaluable. And now that they’ve been there, they understand what it’s like. And once you get a little taste of it, it’s like a mountain lion with blood: Once you get a little taste, nothing’s going to stop you.”

BOBBY BELL FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

Bell, the first Chiefs player to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, helped the club to a pair of Super Bowls, including their victory 50 years ago in Super Bowl IV. “What I love is they’re winning games, big games. ... They’ve got a lot of character. We haven’t seen anything like this in how many years?”

DONNA MAIZE KCFD CHIEF

“Besides that exuberant feeling of community you get walking into Arrowhead Stadium on game day, what I really love about the Kansas City Chiefs is the excellent teamwork utilizing everyone’s strengths to achieve a common goal, which embodies what KCFD excels at each and every day.”

ALBERT PUJOLS MLB ALL-STAR

Pujols, the three-time National League Most Valuable Player and two-time World Series champion who played high school baseball at Fort Osage in Independence, said: “I love the determination from their core of young players and veterans. It seems like they only became hungrier after last year’s AFC Championship Game.”

BILL SELF KU HOOPS COACH

“I think they’re ... what did they call the Rams back in the day? The Greatest Show on Turf? And this may be the Greatest Show on Grass. I’m just amazed with how many weapons and how fast ... it doesn’t matter who you put out there, it seems like they can all make people miss, and then you’ve got the most talented guy in the league orchestrating it all. I think they’re so fun to watch. But not being a football expert, I think defensively is where we’ve gotten so much better. ... We’re flying around, and even if people score points, the defense has to feel good that, ‘Hey, if we only give up 21, it’s going to be a good day for us.’”

TOM WATSON GOLF LEGEND

The winner of eight major golf tournaments, including two Masters championships, is a lifelong Chiefs fan who wants to see them “make amends for Super Bowl I against Green Bay. I love the intensity and fun with which they play. To see their joy and passion in playing a game. You can see it in how the team plays, how the players respond to each other ... that’s what I love about the Chiefs.”

TRAI BYERS ACTOR

Star of the TV drama Empire and the movie Selma and native of Kansas City, Kansas: “The grit, the fight and the next-man-up mentality is exactly how we ended up here! And EXACTLY why the road to the Super Bowl goes through the world’s loudest stadium with the world’s best fans. LETS GO CHIEFS.”

ROGER MARSHALL U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, R-KANSAS

“They’re just so exciting. I mean, I’ve got to tell you, in my conversation with the President — we had an hour together — I bet we spent 10 minutes talking about the Chiefs and just what an exciting game that (win over Houston) was. You know, I’ve got a buddy there in Kansas City, a pledge brother, we’ve been waiting now for 50 years to go to a Super Bowl. I grew up with Len Dawson and Otis Taylor and Jim Lynch and Willie Lanier and Bobby Bell and Ed Podolak. We watched some great teams and so we’ve been waiting anxiously for this team.”

ROB RIGGLE ACTOR, COMEDIAN

Riggle, who attended Shawnee Mission South High and KU, has been obsessive for as long as he can remember about the Chiefs and Royals, once telling The Star that their fates and his are entwined. “I love this year’s team,” he said in a recent Facebook Live session with The Star. He said Patrick Mahomes changes everything. “I definitely think he creates things. Not only like a broken play, but whatever he sees out there, he’s always making it up. A lot of it, you have a plan, but the defense has a vote in that plan. A lot of times it gets screwed up, and so you have to adjust. And he is one of the best at adjusting on the fly, and he’s got all the physical skills to make that happen. Yeah, I’d say he’s an improv genius.”

TONY GONZALEZ FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

Gonzalez, the NFL’s most prolific receiving tight end ever and 2019 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, spent 1997-2008 with the Chiefs. “With Patrick Mahomes, I love the ad-libs,” said Gonzalez, now an NFL studio analyst for Fox. “The magic in anything is in the ad-libs. When there’s a breakdown and things go awry, that’s what gets us out of our seats. When the pocket breaks down, guys get open, Tyreek Hill over the top, it’s so much fun to watch.”

CLAIRE MCCASKILL FORMER SENATOR, NOW TV ANALYST

The former Democratic senator from Missouri puts it like this: “Well, how can anyone not love this team? Last week showed the country why the Kingdom is having so much fun. And while Mahomes is breathtaking, Reid’s creativity and a much-improved defense is our ticket to Miami.”

KEVIN HARLAN VETERAN BROADCASTER

A resident of Mission Hills, Kansas, Harlan punctuated his calls with his trademark “Oh, baby, what a play!’’ as radio voice of the Chiefs from 1985-93. He’s now an NFL play-by-play man for CBS Sports. “What I like about the Chiefs is how they continue to compete every season,” Harlan said. “That is such a difficult thing to do in the NFL. … I love how they’re continually good, because we know that for so many years, there wasn’t hope and the level of their play was not close to this. Every year now, they’re always in the conversation, and that’s what I like best.”

HEIDI GARDNER ‘SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE’

Says the SNL star and Kansas City native: “What I love about the Chiefs is they’ve got each other’s backs always. On the field and off the field, they’re brothers. They’re all accountable and step up when called. It’s not offense, defense, coaches, all separate. It’s one big family. And I love that.”

JOE CARTER FORMER MAJOR-LEAGUER

Carter, who hit the walk-off home run that won the 1993 World Series for the Toronto Blue Jays, has made his home in Leawood since the end of his baseball career. “I see 53 guys having fun who love one another. It’s a big family, and that makes it fun to come to work. It starts with Coach Reid and goes to Mahomes and goes down. When you’ve got a special guy like Mahomes leading the charge … you’re going to be happy for the next 15 to 20 years.”

MITCH HOLTHUS VOICE OF THE CHIEFS

“Resiliency,” said Holthus, radio voice of the Chiefs since 1994. “They embody the spirit of what makes up the people of the Chiefs Kingdom. They reflect this region. Hard-working. Tough. On task. Take nothing for granted. They’re a neat group.”

KATHY NELSON KANSAS CITY SPORTS COMMISSION

Says the president and CEO of the Kansas City Sports Commission (and championship team parade planner): “There is so much energy and excitement around the city! Driving home at night has become an emotional high to see so many buildings lit up in red. And wearing red every day of the week has become an anticipated challenge. How can you not love these guys? Sundays can’t come soon enough right now. It’s becoming easier to visualize and plan another parade, this time in red.”

CARL PETERSON FORMER CHIEFS GM

Peterson, the Chiefs’ president and general manager from 1989 to 2008, revived a struggling and stagnant franchise by turning the team into an annual playoff contender and creating the frenzy in the parking lots and seats that continues today at Arrowhead. “I love their never-say-die attitude. They never think they’re out of a game and have proven it a number of times, and the Houston game proved it big-time. A great deal has to start with the quarterback. He’s exceptional.”

PAT WARREN KANSAS SPEEDWAY

Warren is president of a track that plays host to a NASCAR playoff race every year, so he knows something about postseason pressure. “This team has a confidence in itself unlike anything I’ve seen in professional sports. They always believe they can win. It’s a culture that exists in a team, and it’s a culture that breeds winning and is cool to see. When they were down 24-0 (vs. Houston), the attitude was not defeatist. It was, ‘How are we going to get back in this thing?’”

RICK SUTCLIFFE FORMER MAJOR-LEAGUER

Sutcliffe, of Independence, was the National League Cy Young Award-winner in 1984 with the Chicago Cubs. He attended Chiefs games with his grandfather and has established relationships with Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce. “I love them more as people than even as players,” Sutcliffe said. “That’s so important to a community. That’s the reason you see so much red in Kansas City. You fall in love with them even more once you get to meet them.”

QUINTON LUCAS MAYOR OF KCMO

Weeks after his inauguration last year, “Q” stood atop City Hall and envisioned a championship parade for the team he has cherished forever: “What’s not to love about this team? I mean, you look at the excitement, the happiness they have to be around each other, the fact that they have a young quarterback who can come back from 24 down. … This is the sort of thing you want to follow. It’s infectious. There’s joy every day. They hang out together. They care about Kansas City.”

DICK VERMEIL FORMER CHIEFS COACH

The former Eagles, Rams and Chiefs coach who keeps as busy as ever with his Vermeil Wines operation in California, still follows the Chiefs closely and loves this group for several reasons. His email on the topic: “# 1, I love the coaching job Andy (Reid) & his staff have done! #2, I love how they get the ball down field in the passing game. # 3: I love the improvement in the defense coordinated by Steve (Spagnuolo) & staff! Go Chiefs!”

KEVIN WILLMOTT WRITER, KU PROFESSOR

Kevin Willmott, a professor of film and media studies at the University of Kansas who won an Oscar for co-writing “BlacKkKlansman”: “Have been a fan since fifth grade when I got a Chiefs vs. Vikings electric football game of their Super Bowl win for Christmas. Exciting time for Kansas City.”

TRENT GREEN FORMER CHIEFS QB

Green, the Chiefs quarterback during 2001-06, now serves as the club’s preseason television analyst and is a commentator for CBS television and radio. “The excitement they bring is infectious. The offense has been that way for a couple of years, but the defense has brought a lot of energy. The additions of Frank Clark and Tyrann Mathieu … there’s a whole new attitude on that side of the ball.”

DAYTON MOORE KC ROYALS GM

“I mean, I’m a fan like everybody else and like to see action on the field and athletes playing against one another. But from my viewpoint across the street, I think it begins and ends with the great leadership that they have in their organization. That speaks to the consistency, and that’s what I admire about it. Regardless of what happens going forward — because what happens on the field, as we all know, is very unpredictable at the professional level — the steady, quality leadership is something that I notice and pay attention to.”

LIDIA BASTIANICH CHEF, AUTHOR

The proprietor of Lidia’s Kansas City says: “The Chiefs are amazing to watch and cheer for. It is extraordinary how the team energized the city and makes Kansas City rally together. The comeback by Patrick Mahomes (against Houston in the Chiefs’ playoff opener) shows that if you put your mind to something, you can do anything. I am so proud that Lidia’s is a part of Kansas City’s fiber and a cheerleader for the longstanding tradition of the Chiefs.”

BILL HANCOCK COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF DIRECTOR

Says Hancock, who calls Prairie Village, Kansas, home: “What I love the most is the balance between the offense and the defense. They are very good on both sides of the ball, and I always enjoy that in a football team. You don’t see it very often.”

JAN STENERUD FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

Stenerud, the first pure kicker inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, made all three of his field-goal attempts in the Chiefs’ victory over Minnesota in Super Bowl IV. “In addition to their tremendous talent is the impression I have of the whole team, that they’re nice young men. I like the way they represent the organization. Every time you see someone interviewed, I’m impressed with the way they handle themselves. I’m proud of them.”

CHRIS GOODE FOUNDER/OWNER OF RUBY JEAN’S JUICERY

“As a lifelong Kansas Citian, the biggest change I’ve seen is the depth of camaraderie the players have amongst each other. There’s this sense of family that we have in Kansas City and I believe the Hunt family, along with coach Andy Reid, have found a nucleus of guys that not only mesh on the field, but off as well. You can see them genuinely supporting each other’s community endeavors and lifting each other up when there’s a dropped ball, or when we’re down. That energy is reflective of what is so special about Kansas City and makes me admire this Chiefs squad. It reinforces the sense of pride I feel to call KC home.”

VLATKO ANDONOVSKI U.S. WOMEN’S NATIONAL TEAM SOCCER COACH

“The excitement around the Chiefs in Kansas City is just awesome. We have a great community feeling in Kansas City and the Chiefs bring everyone even closer together, so for them to be having such a successful season is fun for everyone. I really love how entertaining they are and how they play aggressively, creative and fast. Coach Reid, the assistant coaches and all the players have done a great job and I appreciate how much they want to win for the fans. I know they can get to the Super Bowl and bring a championship back to Kansas City.”

KAY BARNES FORMER KCMO MAYOR

“Remembering the Chiefs’ Super Bowl win 50 years ago, I’m just as excited today about the Chiefs hopefully winning again.”

JOE POSNANSKI AUTHOR, FORMER KC STAR COLUMNIST

“There are so many things to love about these Chiefs, but I think you have to start with Patrick Mahomes. How can you not? What a joyous presence. What a fantastic player. But even that doesn’t quite cover it. I was in Kansas City for so many Chiefs heartbreaks. And the thing that stood out was that the Chiefs simply couldn’t find their own quarterback. Trent Green was a fine player, but he had bounced around for a few years. Elvis Grbac — we all remember that. Rich Gannon came and went. Joe Montana stopped by for a time after already becoming a legend. You couldn’t help but wonder: When would the Chiefs ever have another quarterback who owned the town the way Len Dawson did? And this kid came along and he played fearlessly and the Chiefs are back in the Super Bowl. He’s the screensaver on our oldest daughter’s phone. I don’t know what else you need to say.”

GEORGE TOMA GROUNDSKEEPING GURU

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Man has served as a groundskeeper for all 53 Super Bowls, and No. 54 falls on Feb. 2, his 91st birthday. The longtime groundskeeper for the Chiefs and Royals was selected as head groundskeeper for Super Bowl I after then-NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle admired the pristine green grass at KC’s old Municipal Stadium. “This team has a hell of a coach in Andy Reid. I took care of his practice fields in Jacksonville for the Super Bowl when he was the Eagles’ coach, and he was so gracious and I think the world of him.”

CHRISTIAN OKOYE FORMER CHIEF

The Nigerian Nightmare led the NFL in rushing with 1,480 yards in 1989, when the Chiefs’ offense was built on a power-run game. “We were exciting when I played, but it’s totally different now with Mahomes and how he plays,” said Okoye, who runs the California Sports Hall of Fame, which he founded in Ontario. “What I love about them is not giving up. When they were 24 down, and fans were going home, I looked at the players, and they didn’t flinch. I saw Mahomes talking to his teammates, and I told the people I was with, ‘We’re going to win this game.’”

JASON KANDER FORMER MISSOURI SEC. OF STATE

“Like the ’14/’15 Royals, this team feels truly connected to the community and they help people around the world learn more about this awesome town. Plus, watching the Chiefs win takes me back to my childhood growing up in the ’90s. I can almost taste the Velveeta queso.”

MATT BESLER PRO SOCCER STAR

Besler, a Sporting KC and U.S. National Team veteran who attended Blue Valley West High, says this: “Watching the win against Houston as an athlete, with seven of my teammates, I couldn’t help but notice two things in particular about this special Chiefs team. The first was the tremendous enjoyment that every Chiefs player displays on the field. We saw firsthand the passion they have for the sport, the passion they have to compete and the passion they have to represent Kansas City and its amazing fans. The second thing that stood out to me: confidence. They’ve shown it all season long. No matter who they play, where they play or what the score is, this Chiefs team believes it can win. They’re not afraid of anyone.”

HARRIS FAULKNER TELEVISION NEWS ANCHOR

Faulkner, anchor of Fox News Channel’s “Outnumbered Overtime,” spent 1992-2000 as a news anchor at WDAF-TV (Ch. 4) in Kansas City. “Loving the Kansas City Chiefs is first driven by my fascination with sports. ... There are a lot of NFL superstars out there but, through the 50 years leading up to this moment, Kansas City players have carried a banner of passion and talent that fans can be proud of. Glad to count myself among those loving fans this Super Bowl Sunday — GO CHIEFS!”

DAVID COOK MUSICIAN, AMERICAN IDOL WINNER

David Cook has worn, and continues to wear, many hats: musician, American Idol winner. Broadway star. Blue Springs native. And unabashed fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. “I love this team’s resiliency and focus. They remind me of the vibe surrounding the 2015 Royals. No deficit feels too large, and no moment too big.”

WILL SHIELDS FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

Shields, the Pro Football Hall of Fame guard, has started more games, 223, than anyone in Chiefs history: “The simple fact is they’re putting up big numbers, they’re winning games, and are electric in what they do. They give you that optimism of saying, ‘We have a chance to get to and win a Super Bowl.’’’

DAVID DASTMALCHIAN ACTOR

Overland Park native and co-star in the Ant-Man movies, Blade Runner 2049 and next year’s The Suicide Squad, which is now filming: “I’ve never thrown a Super Bowl Party before. I’m having preposterous amounts of KC BBQ shipped to an undisclosed location where I’m working on an undisclosed film with a handful of undisclosed individuals. A couple are 49er fans, so they won’t be getting any of my BBQ.”

WILLIE LANIER FORMER CHIEF, HALL OF FAMER

“All of the games that you’ve participated in in your life start trying to give you some answers to an illogical situation,” said the ever-analytical Lanier, an anchor of the Chiefs’ 1969 Super Bowl champion team and Hall of Famer who went on to a distinguished business career. When the Chiefs found themselves in a 24-0 hole against Houston, Lanier considered their plight to be “aberrations of the moment” as he waited to see what it would lead to. The result was testimony to experience and a group dynamic he considers essential in a championship team, like the trust and accountability that buoyed those 1969 Chiefs.

JEFF KRUM PRESIDENT OF BOULEVARD BREWING CO.

“No longer just one-dimensional, this team — like a fine beer — is beautifully balanced. With their spirit, energy and integrity, these Chiefs are easy to cheer for, and we’re proud to have them represent our city.”

BILL SNYDER FORMER K-STATE FOOTBALL COACH

The Wildcats’ coaching legend and College Football Hall of Famer knows the game better than just about anyone else, but the things he’s most struck by in watching these Chiefs start with their MVP quarterback: “Like most, I’m impressed with Patrick and Andy, but I’m also so very impressed with how well their offensive line protects the quarterback and the improvement of the defense. Above all, I appreciate the continuity and teamwork of both players and staff. No true weak links.”

EMANUEL CLEAVER U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, D-MISSOURI

The KC congressman said his three favorite things about this year’s Chiefs team are: “Mahomes’ chemistry with the Legion of Zoom; the luncheons held by our pass-rushers in opponents’ backfields every week; and Mathieu taking the defense to another level and demonstrating his superior football IQ.”

JOSH HAWLEY U.S. SENATOR, R-MISSOURI

“One thing that comes immediately to mind is I just love the creativity and almost the joyful and kind of childlike joy the team plays with. I think Mahomes really sets the tone for that. ... It just reminds me of the best parts of Little League. The sense that you’re out there, you’re loving the game, it’s so much fun. … I don’t want to be quoted as saying I’m comparing Mahomes to a Little League ballplayer, but in just the love of it. It’s just so fun.”

JONATHAN JUSTUS CHEF

Executive chef/owner of the former Justus Drugstore and Black Dirt and future executive chef/owner of Justus Drugstore 2.0. “These guys, at the end of the day, are looking you down, and smiling while licking the barbecue sauce off of their fingers and sayin’ ‘Who’s next?’”

JEAN PETERS BAKER JACKSON COUNTY PROSECUTOR

“The Chiefs stadium is truly a Kansas City experience. It’s not about the coach, any player, or the fans. It’s about the moment. The minutes before the kickoff when we collectively embrace the palpable energy and an unwavering belief that we cannot lose. It’s exciting, unifying, and a little bit scary in a blur of red. But win or lose, it’s our team, our town and our pride.”

KELLY COLE PRESIDENT AND CEO OF HALLS

“This team loves their fans as much as we love them. They are great supporters of Halls, and we appreciate them.”

PAT ROBERTS U.S. SENATOR, R-KANSAS

The senator said his favorite things about this year’s Chiefs team are: “They are a team everybody can cheer for ... whether you’re from Missouri or Kansas, you are a Chiefs fan. It really brings the community together. The Chiefs have completely changed the game this season. With Patrick Mahomes using the no-look pass, the Chiefs have become the Golden State Warriors of the NFL. ... I love seeing my Wildcats find professional success, and No. 13, Byron Pringle, the wide receiver, is a K-State alum.”

MICHAEL MACCAMBRIDGE AUTHOR, HISTORIAN

“What’s so compelling about this year’s Chiefs is that it’s not only about the Magic Unicorn Quarterback and The Legion of Zoom. In 2019, the defense has a clear identity and personality as well, thanks in large part to the man with perhaps the most nicknames in the NFL, Tyrann ‘Honey Badger’ ‘T-5’ ‘Kingdom Landlord’ Mathieu. The road to the AFC Championship Game has been tougher this time around, but this team is more balanced, more battle-tested and more resilient than the Chiefs of 2018. Also, Patrick Mahomes is a year smarter and more experienced, and — this part hasn’t changed — remains more fun to watch than any athlete in the country.” MacCambridge attended the Barstow School and was editorial coordinator of the Chiefs’ Hall of Honor. His books include a biography of Lamar Hunt and “’69 Chiefs: A Team, a Season and the Birth of Modern Kansas City.”

GARY PINKEL FORMER MU FOOTBALL COACH

“There’s a lot of things (to love). … We were shooting ourselves in the foot about every way possible (against Houston) … (then) the leadership came through. When things got really, really tough, they weren’t yelling and screaming at each other. They were encouraging each other. … That’s how you get a chance to get out of it. … (And) when you’ve got Patrick Mahomes, you’re never out of a game. There’s a guy like that in New England.”

BILL JAMES AUTHOR, HISTORIAN, STATISTICIAN

The Holton, Kansas, native and KU alum says: “It is fun for us to be the team that has that guy that you just can’t stop, like Elway or Aaron Rodgers or Brady or whoever … it’s fun that now we have that guy. The thing I enjoy is the creativity of the offense. Andy Reid will always come up with something that you haven’t seen before, and before you can process what he has been doing, he moves on to doing something else entirely. I know that he is responding to something the defense has done, but that’s all over my head: It’s like watching a chess match. I’m thinking one step behind and they’re working two steps ahead. But it’s fun to watch.”

JEREMY DANNER 4 HANDS BREWING CO.

The on-premise specialist/brand ambassador for 4 Hands Brewing Co. enjoys watching the Chiefs achieve success and says he especially appreciates what QB Patrick Mahomes and longtime girlfriend Brittany Matthews do for our furry friends: “I’m a healthy level of obsessed with Patrick and Brittany’s dogs, Steel and Silver. As a pit bull owner and advocate myself, I think their dogs are gorgeous, but beyond that, I appreciate what they do to help them serve as ambassadors for pits and Cane Corsos. Their Instagram feed is super cute!”

CHASE MCANULTY FOUNDER/CEO, CHARLIE HUSTLE

“The best thing about these Chiefs is they represent who we are as a city. They share the same values we do as citizens and embody the heart and spirit this city thrives on. A true team on the field, led by the best organization off of it.”

MICHAEL SMITH CHEF

The chef/co-founder of Farina and Extra Virgin In The Crossroads says: “Patrick Mahomes always gives the Chiefs a chance to win a ballgame. Over the years they’ve never had THE quarterback that could score in a flash from anywhere on the field. There are only a handful of quarterbacks in the NFL who can flip a game and give the fans eternal hope that the team can come from behind and win a game. That feeling and belief will be with Chief fans for the next dozen years.”

GARY WOODLAND PRO GOLFER

The PGA Tour star and University of Kansas grad says: “I love the energy this team brings. Obviously starts with Andy Reid, which it feels like every player wants to play for. Then Mahomes controlling the sideline like a veteran and playing like he’s in the backyard with his buddies is awesome. All brought together with the attitude Mathieu has brought to the defense. It’s exciting to watch.”

DERRICK JOHNSON FORMER CHIEF

Johnson, the Chiefs’ career leader with 1,262 tackles from 2005-17: “I love the confidence they play with. I had some really good years here, but they have taken confidence to the next level. They’ve raised the bar, and the Super Bowl is right in their grasp and it could make their dreams come true.”

CLINT BOWYER NASCAR DRIVER

Bowyer, the NASCAR Cup star from Emporia, Kansas, attends games when they don’t conflict with his racing schedule and was in the stands for the playoff comeback win against Houston. “What do I love about the Chiefs? Here’s a simple answer: All of it. I love it all. I love what they’ve done for the city, what Arrowhead means as a fan, to be able to watch them go to battle every week. I love the quarterback, I love Andy Reid, how far the defense has come. And I love knowing you’re an elite group in the playoffs and knowing the team you root for is the team everyone in these playoffs are worried about.”

JACK SOCK PRO TENNIS STAR

Sock, a two-time Wimbledon and 2018 U.S. Open tennis doubles champion and four-time state champion at Blue Valley North, counts some Chiefs players as friends. “They feel like my NFL family. We have the best fans in the league. I’m all about the CHOP. What’s not to love?”

BUBBA STARLING ROYALS OUTFIELDER

The Gardner, Kansas, native was the No. 5 pick overall in the 2011 baseball draft after starring in both football and baseball at Gardner Edgerton High. “I think they’ve got the potential to go all the way. … I mean, I could see the Chiefs, the next however many years, getting to that point. But it’s like, it doesn’t happen very often, just being in the Super Bowl, and, gosh, that would be sweet to go cheer them on.” One more thing: Starling was picked in elementary school to get to wear the KC Wolf costume. “The most awesome thing I’ve ever done,” he said, laughing.

FRANK BOAL TV/RADIO BROADCASTER

“I’ve been covering this franchise since 1981, I’ve never seen anything quite like this team. They are on the verge of something special and no one deserves it more than the Hunt Family and the Chiefs Kingdom. As Patrick Mahomes said, ‘Let’s do something special.’ How about a ‘sea of red’ flowing through downtown in all of our February splendor?”

COLBY GARRELTS CHEF AND CO-OWNER OF BLUESTEM AND RYE

“The Kansas City Chiefs define our city’s culture by bringing friends and families together to share great food and great memories. When we go to the Super Bowl you will always know where you were and who you were with!”

CROSBY KEMPER III DIRECTOR OF THE INSTITUTE OF MUSEUM AND LIBRARY SCIENCES

The outgoing executive director of the Kansas City Public Library’s reason for loving the Chiefs is short and sweet: “Snatching victory from defeat.”

— Quotes collected by Randy Covitz, Derek Donovan, Pete Grathoff, Vahe Gregorian, Blair Kerkhoff, Allison Kite, Bryan Lowry, Sam Mellinger, Jesse Newell, Jon Niccum, Glenn E. Rice, Jeff Rosen, Joyce Smith and Lynn Worthy

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 11 - Wrap Up

It's Me. Hi. I'm the Problem It's Me.

Yes, I am part of the problem. Not only did I buy Taylor Swift VIP tickets for my daughter's Spring Break trip to see Taylor the first weekend of the tour...but I also bought 6 tickets to the Atlanta show - and resold them all for 6 times the value to pay for the VIP tickets in Phoenix. So, yes I am part of the problem and I just thought that I would let everyone know and be honest with this group. Also, did you guys realize that next week is week 12! Normally that would mean just 2 weeks left in the regular season but with the increase in NFL games - we now go to week 14 before we move into playoffs. So, you have 3 more weeks to get your shit together and find your way into the playoffs.

MR AWESOME vs TREE HUGGERS

I see what's happening here. Scotty K on a 3 game winning streak and putting up big numbers. He's making a run! I just hope he didn't peak too early! Poor Gabe on the other hand. Ever since he told me how he's on a winning streak - he's done nothing but lose and this week he only put up 73. With Mahomes, Adams and Cooper - Scott could be one to watch over the next few weeks. Nice Win Scott and high point with 152! ($20)

LANAKILA vs TRADE WITH ME

Well, it happened! Brett won! He broke his 4 game losing streak and took down Lanakila. Both of these guys had players going into Monday night but with almost a 40 point lead it looks pretty promising that Brett will take the win. Cliff had a huge game from Pollard and a good game from Ekeler but not much more to stay competitive. Brett on the other hand had 27 from the Washington Commanders Defense, 22 from Herbert, 23 from Harris and 20 from T Higgins to seal the deal. Nice win Brett! It's nice to win isn't it!

BOOMER SOONER vs BACKDOOR BANDITS

Yes, it's sad but it's true - our good friend Stu Jones is in a losing slump. Now 3 weeks in a row he has taken the "L" and this time he lost to our friend from Arkansas - Kyle Allmendinger. Both of these guys are the kind of guys that expect to make the playoffs each year. Both now sit at 6-5. If I was a betting man - Which I am - I would put my money on Kyle to make the playoffs over Stu. Mainly because Stu tends to be a quitter and Kyle will find a way to sneak in. Congrats Kyle, way to take down the OU fanatic. He made it interesting with Kittle - 2 TDs and 20.40 points...just .50 short of the win. Painful!

TuPADRE vs LONG LEFT BALLERS

I couldn't tell if this guy was yawning or in awe...and I felt like it was perfect for this match up. Nothing major here...the score was 98 - 78...but Bebo did take down Gullahorn. Kind of a boring match up but both of these guys are sitting in that 2nd/3rd place range and they don't need losses going into the home stretch...so Bebo is the winner and puts himself in a little bit better position. Also, Gully will start Christmas tour stuff after next weekend which can be a great distraction going into the final weeks. Nice win Bebo!

KELCE LATELY vs MOOSES ON THE LOOSES

Such a fun week. It always is when the Moose and I match up. This week it was evident that he thought he had me. Very confident. And to be honest he did most of the weekend. Especially after Lamar let me down and my defense could only muster 1 point. But then SNF came around and my anchor player this year Travis Kelce put up 3 TDs and over 100 yards to give me a 30 point lead going into MNF. Mitch had James Connor and Rondale Moore still to play but I am going to go ahead and be the ghost of Christmas future and predict that he just couldn't get 30 out of those 2 guys and I went on to win! So fun Mitch! I only wish we had made our annual tequila bet!

FUNK GUY vs HOWARD

Well, and here we are - at the last match up of the night. Howard is done - he has a lack luster 84 points. Dana, well he has 56 points but still has Kenyan Drake, Christian McCaffrey and Garoppolo still to play. If Dana can't get 29 points out of those 3 guys then he doesn't deserve to win. I say Dana wins...right!?!?! Late update. Dana won! Big night Garoppolo with 32. Great win Dana!

CHEERLEADER OF THE WEEK

Guys, we are 11 weeks in...every week I have to google Hot NFL Cheerleaders. So now stuff like this just comes up on my searches. I might be searching Christmas lights and I'll get an ad like this - so she wins this week. She is a model for Cheerleader costumes. I feel like she has a great family and probably grew going to Wednesday night Bible Study. Seems like a winner to me.

[allons-y-to-hogwarts-713]

All the numbers for the music ask

Thank you so much! Anon, I love you. ❤️❤️❤️

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle—“Still Into You” by Paramore—“Low Day” by Capra (wow it’s been a while)—“All I Ask of You” from The Phantom of the Opera

2. three last songs you listened to—“Finish What You Started” by Every Avenue—“I Forgive You” by Every Avenue—“The Story Left Untold” by Every Avenue(If you couldn’t tell, I’m listening to a playlist of Every Avenue rn because I like them but don’t know much of their music very well, so it keeps me awake while I’m working on a paper without taking my focus by making me sing along)

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with—“This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman—“Phantom” by NateWantsToBattle—“Santa Fe” from Newsies (OBC lately)

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents—“Rock of Life” by Rick Springfield—“A Little Too Late” by Toby Keith—“Pass It On Down” by Alabama

5. three songs you wish you could forget (because listening to them hurts)—“Into the West” from Lord of the Rings (we sang it in chorus in high school and I looove Peter Hollens’s version, but I heard it with bad timing once and now I can’t listen to the song without crying)—“Home” by Daughtry—“Why Should I Worry” by Billy Joel (again, love it but bad timing has forever tainted it)

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)—“Gangnam Style”by Psy—“Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel—“Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved—“What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction—“Monster” by Skillet (the first song I ever heard by them)—“Living in Oz” by Rick Springfield

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation—“Summer Breeze” by The Isley Brothers—“Mayberry” by Rascal Flatts—“Little Bitty” Alan Jackson

9. three songs that get you in the Christmas Mood—“This Christmas” by Elliot Yamin—“That Christmas Feeling” from the Phineas and Ferb holiday episode/album—“The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” pretty much any version

10. three favourite Halloween/spooky songs—“Lost in the Shadows” by Lou Gramm (from The Lost Boys)—“Thriller” by Michael Jackson—“The Oogie Boogie Song” from The Nightmare Before Christmas (love the song, but still can’t watch him)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrackOkay so I’m not counting musicals (including Disney movie musicals) because it would be all of them; also I’m just going with what first comes to mind because…there’s a lot—“Ain’t Got Rhythm” from Phineas and Ferb—“Moon River” from Breakfast at Tiffany’s (but Frank Sinatra’s version)—“A Single Man Tear” from Supernatural

12. three favourite songs from video games(not counting songs from Guitar Hero)—Animal Crossing theme—Sonic Heroes theme song (shut up) (I’m not in the fandom, and the song was the only part of that particular game that I really liked)—The Nintendogs Naptime record

13. three songs you want at your funeral—“Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” by the Backstreet Boys (or any BSB song)—“Home Sweet Home” by Mötley Crüe—and I guess I should have a hymn so “I’ll Fly Away” by Keith Urban or even better is Tim Lovelace’s “Away Fly I’ll” (I swear if my family plays a really old blah staticky country quartet version of a hymn that sounds like it would be on a possessed record, I will sit back up and change it myself)

14. three songs you want at your wedding—“Just Fishin’” by Trace Adkins would be my father-daughter dance—“Fine By Me” by Andy Grammer—“Forever and Ever, Amen” by Randy Travis

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to—“I Promise You” by the Backstreet Boys—“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran—“This I Swear” by Nick Lachey

16. three favourite songs for sexOkay so I haven’t had/don’t have this and I’m not encouraging it, buuuut a lot of songs are about it sooooo I’ll still answer, but if any of these are actually really awkward…oops—“Tonight I’m [Lovin’] You” by Enrique Iglesias—“Lay Your Hands on Me” by Bon Jovi—“Bésame Mucho” I like the version by Thalía and Michael Bublé

17. three songs that remind you of your crush—“Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows—“I Won’t Say I’m in Love” from Disney’s Hercules—“If Only” from Disney’s Descendants

18. three songs that remind you of your best friendAnswering with three different friends in mind, and none of these are lyric-based but just because they like the song/band/etc.—“Dream On” by Aerosmith—“Footloose” by Kenny Loggins—“What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure—“Year 3000” by the Jonas Brothers—“Take Me or Leave Me” from RENT—“Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard (it’s totally horrible but it’s so gosh darn catchy)

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this oneThough I have a guess about who sent this, you’re on anon so—“Who Can It Be Now?” by Men at Work—“Who Are You” by The Who—“As Long As You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys

21. three songs of your childhood—“Oh Where Is My Hairbrush?” from VeggieTales—“I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from The Lion King—“I’ll Be Your Everything” by Youngstown

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad—“Alone Together” by Fall Out Boy—“Renegade” by Daughtry—“Broken” by Seether feat. Amy Lee

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up—“Feel Invincible” by Skillet—“Eye On It” by tobyMac—“Determinate” from Lemonade Mouth

24. three favourite old songsHow old are we talking here?—“Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra—“Save the Last Dance for Me” by The Drifters—“Chattanooga Choo-Choo” I like the Andrews Sisters’ version

25. three favourite songs of 2017—“What Do I Know?” by Ed Sheeran—“Believer” by Imagine Dragons—“…Ready for It?” By Taylor Swift

26. three favourite non-English songs—“Bashana Haba’a” which we recently sang in choir—“Uh Oh” by Chloe Wang (aka Chloe Bennet aka Daisy Johnson/Quake)—“Dímelo” by Marc Antony

27. three songs that you sing while drunkI’ve never been drunk so I don’t know what I would sing but probably—something Broadway really off-key—something Disney—something I don’t even like

28. three best songs to get drunk or high toI’ve never done either so my guesses are—“Drink With Me” from Les Misérables—“Glad You Came” by The Wanted—“Take It Easy” by the Eagles

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)—“Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Misérables (one of the first songs that really got me interested musicals/musical theatre I think)—“Arise” by Newsong—“Here I Am” from Camp Rock

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)—“C'est La Vie” by B*Witched—“In a World Like This” by the Backstreet Boys—“Love Is Here” by Tenth Avenue North

[dinoalexander]

Your Moment of Zen: The Gourmet Academy’s Semi-Quotable 2020 Quotedown Quotetacular

The following blog entry are intended only for mature audiences. Reader discretion is strongly advised. Although it goes without saying about three quotes in, this is neither an incendiary nor defamatory tribute to the year past, although if someone were to put together such a “tribute”, I’d completely understand. Thank you. And enjoy the show. Because you helped make it.  Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary conforming life forms across seven star systems... the Gourmet Academy’s World Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2020 Quotedown Quotetacular begins in five... ... four... ... three... ... two... NOW. === “This video is dedicated to touching.” -Harry Styles “Welcome to America's last public gathering.” -Jenna Riedi, the host of Geek Bowl XIV “Daniel’s New Year’s Resolutions 1) say something so brilliant, so irrefutably mind-bogglingly wowful that it makes the Quote Wall 2) organize the basement.” -Daniel “Didn’t you used to be Bill Simmons?” -Greg channeling Justin Lollie “Something new? Shouldn’t be trying it but I’m d-e-d today.” -Carl “This could devolve into something amazing.” -Jeremy “Good feeling: a Patriots loss. Better feeling: a Patriots loss in the playoffs. Best feeling: a Patriots loss in the playoffs in Foxboro.” -Travis “You are the master of the swerve.” -Klaussie “There once was a man from Nantucket.” -Ethan “Neighbor and I both have our windows open, and I refuse to do one more thing tonight until I figure out which episode of “Cheers” she’s watching.” -Adam Nedeff “Is there anyway we can CGI Matt Lauer out and replace him with Christopher Plummer?” -Greg on Matt Lauer on SNL “What’s the favorite network of the 2017 Houston Astros? BUZZR!” -Klauss “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Lost her virginity to Tom Jones.” -Sara “That’s not unusual.” -Megan “Oh look, goats! (Whiff) Oh god, goats.” -Q “The Whiteface on the Joker poster is a pretty good representation on the Academy Award nominees this year.” -Gordon “If you spend your life with a paper bag over your head, do you also need to wear a mask?” -Kevin, on the Unknown Comic "He Gay - He Christmas in Macy's Window Gay" - Mercedeze - The Circle. “Spock is gonna slap your ass.” -Greg on Zach Quinto in “The Slap” “Smeargle!” -C “I’m at the Battle of Atlanta, usually I’M the one on fire.” -Greg as Time Traveling Rip Taylor “Sexual Game Show Chocolate.” -Cyndi’s nickname for Chico “He has exact change! What was I supposed to say.. No?!” -Q “WLTI has been brought to by the Tom Brady Laundry Service - when you need stuff to be washed and blown....you know where to go.” -JB “It’s like shitting in my hand and clapping.” -Q “Let’s do that GOAT.” -C “Does Q know you’re into bestiality?” -Chris • the subject: Jeopardy! The Greatest of All Time “In 2020 I’d like to set more things on fire.” -Megan “Tonight, William Shakespeare, Henry VIII, the sun god Ra, Archimedes, Rip Taylor, and Rudolph Valentino on the Loooooooove TARDIS.” -Greg as Ernie Anderson (hat tips to Mike & Chico). “Christmas Day: Email notifying me I don't need to come to the courthouse on Monday. Monday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse on Tuesday. Tuesday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse on Wednesday. Wednesday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse, period, because my week of service includes two holidays. For anyone who's never been called in for jury duty during a pandemic, I highly recommend the experience.” -Adam “This version of 2020 has a virus in it. Can I get it reinstalled?” -Catherine “Take care of y’all chicken.” -Marshawn Lynch“ No link, because (EXPLETIVE DELETED) that (EXPLETIVE DELETED).” -Joe “There’s the Wendy’s.” -C “Where where where where where?” -Q “There there there there there.” -C “The Houston Astros scandal has spilled into the world of game shows...evidence has surfaced that “Jeopardy!” contestants had wired buzzers at their podiums.” -Adam Nedeff “ "Having an English Accent in America is like having a 12" dick” -David, a contestant on Too Hot To Handle. “We are all Disney... and Disney is all of us.” -Kevin “Here comes this Donny Osmond-looking motherfucker.” -C “The coronavirus is the least dirty thing I’ve had in my hand. There’s not enough hand sanitizer in the world. That’s why I drink vodka.” -Michael "That bird just straight up moonwalked and died!" -Neumann “You think Jimmy Kimmel would buy the Walgreens brand?” -Q “I don’t make Jimmy Kimmel money!” -C “President Trump sent me a letter. I respond with fire.” -Kyle “Sense AND Sensibility? In this economy?!” -Liz “He committed the ultimate sin. He insulted the WWE in his promotion!” -Cyndi “Today was draggin’. It was very draggy. It was an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. It was so draggin’ that Wink Martindale encourages me to avoid it. I was watching Dragon Ball Z in the cockpit of the Dragonzord while playing Double Dragon with Don “The Dragon” Wilson and listening to Sisqo’s Unleash The Dragon. Somebody better call Emilia Clarke, because, uh.... dragon .... joke.” -C “Name a people that animals breed.” -Bressler “Put your Facebook balls away, Karen. It’s unbecoming.” -Cindy “Pizza is yes.” -Drago, Animal Crossing New Horizons “Prahstitute.” -Klauss • the password was “hookah” “It was a one-eyed one-horned flying purple Power Ranger.” -Gordon “I'm gonna start painting people yellow and send their asses to Springfield because I'm seeing a LOT of Simps, SON!” -Katie “Bill Belichick took the box on the display floor and got a couple of plush dolphins...would’ve had a new car behind curtain #2.” -Carl “Twenty-one seasons of winners and not one of those faces looked like mine. So when I walked through those doors, I had that desire, that determination to be that very first face to give hope to those behind me who have the desire to come in here and play this game. Not seeing a face that looks like mine is very discouraging, it’s hurtful and it does make me feel like maybe it’s impossible. But I’m wrong about that because it’s definitively possible. We can do it. It just hasn’t been done yet… I want to acknowledge every African American who has walked through those doors with the same desire to be that face that I have. I see you, I salute you and I appreciate you. You came in here, you knew the odds were against you, you knew it was going to be an uphill battle and you still fought and you fought like hell. For that, I love you, I admire you and I acknowledge you all today.” -Da’vonne, Big Brother “Waldo should find himself. I don’t have that kind of time.” -@FunnyOrDie “What we wanted was Cam Newton. What we got was Wayne Newton.” -Gordon, right before everyone broke out into “Danke Schön” “You can go ahead and put "Nuh-uh! Don't eat Jesus, you monster!" on the list of things I didn't think I'd have to yell today.” -Wingo “Not only is he a chicken magnate, he’s also a chick... magnet. Amirite?” -Klauss“ Please excuse me if I don't participate in the Dolly Parton Challenge, but I'd rather my wife didn't know that I have a Tinder account.” -Prof. O “The table has had enough of your shit.” -Brian “If you work hard enough I’m sure someday you’ll reach the top of the intelligence bell curve.” -Jess’ insult “Any squirrel can find a nut once. Let’s see you do it again.” -Q “This is the kind of chaotic horniness I’m here for.” -Megan “Behold the power of the fat guy touchdown.” -Cyndi “It’s the kind of peppermint candy that can give me natural 20s.” -Jenni “The wonders.... of weed.” -Mary “Metallic testicles.” -Jimmy Kimmel “Well, it's 65° again today. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday so I chose to walk 4 today. If next year it is not 65° on this day in February, I'm quitting Ohio.” -Wingo “I see the Incelabteilung spent a productive weekend.” -Rick Wilson “You know why the RTF head writer is now hosting? Because he's now eligible to join the Actors Guild, which means he'll have potential work when 1. RTF goes down in flames, 2. The WGA agreement goes down in flames. 3.A combination of 1. 2. and RTF keeps trying to convince us that King Kong should be worth 1,250 points per ticket.” -Gordon “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” -Jessica “Of course any team could have had 14 players test positive for COVID three games into the season, but the fact that it’s an entire roster of Florida Man is just so obvious.” -Arianna “Anna Roisman is very much in love with her butt.” -C Phleb: Are you following me? Q: As if you’re cool enough to have a stalker. As IF you’re cool enough for that stalker to be me. “I’ve seen enough.” -JD “Okay Dave Wasserman.” -C -subject: NLCS “Curse your sudden but inevitable colonization!” -Blue from episode 2 of the Overly Sarcastic Podcast “I haven't watched the Super Bowl halftime show, but from the online conversation today it is clear that people do not know just how many layers of costumage it takes to look "naked" onstage. #Showbiz” -Shannon “Adolf Titler and Areola Braun.” -Kim “I don't follow sports at all, but "And then Florida screwed it up for everyone" is the least surprising thing I could have seen in the news.” -Adam “If you think 2020 has been wild so far, wait until the dragons are released in the finale!” -Bruce Q: “I need a lighter.” Clerk: “Which one?” Q: “I don’t care. As long as it produces fire.” “Today we say a not fond farewell to Adobe Flash....we will NOT miss you very much." -Carl “It’s ridicarus. It’s so ridiculous, it flies in the face of normality until it melts on the wings of its own ridiculousness.” -C “I’d like to be proven wrong 99 times out of 100,000.” -Cyndi “The wenches of Watson.” -G’s nickname for the Chasers “Paula Deen. I don’t give a toss about the woman’s politics. But there’s one thing that we both agree on. MORE BUTTER!” -Q “Do you think you could be my Korean food mule?” -Jenni, to Chico re: Korean restaurants  “This is what I told you about Travis. You’ve got to stop eating buffalo wings before you go to bed this is going to keep happening!” -Brian “The NFL Draft Takes way too long. If I wanted to watch 32 picks in 3 hours, I’d watch Jameis Winston play.” -TyFo “I think I’d win this easily.” -Greg, on “Too Hot To Handle.” “Hit me daddy, I’ve been bad.” -Q “I haven’t been bad, but hit me anyway.” -C “I hope a million Dodger babies are made tonight and their mamas name them all MOOKIE.” -Arianna “That’s tackier than a Louis Vuitton purse from downtown LA.” -Kimberly “Defense wins championships, but offense sells soap.” -Nikki “It’s like there’s nothing good on Netflix anymore.” -Alex Alvarez (Marcel Ruiz) on the Pop premiere of One Day at a Time “Let’s see what this bitch can do.” -C

“Man we have now been quarantined for 60 full days. Stuck inside with nothing but our families and our devices, filled with fear and anxiety. And we still don’t want to watch Quibi.” - Mike Shields (@digitalshields) “I love Peanut Butter. I love Africa.” - Bill Walton "So in the last 3 days Tom Brady has violated social distancing guidelines and broken into somebody's house. The media laughs it off. It pays to be white." - Barry McCockiner “BREAKING: I have decided to follow @James_Holzhauer on Twitter, since he’s been following me on Jeopardy all week.” - Ken Jennings “I was debating who had a worse night in Vegas — Mike Bloomberg or Deontay Wilder. I thought it was Wilder but it wasn’t. He didn’t have to show up a week later and get his ass kicked all over again. #DemDebate2020” - Jelani Cobb “What in the name of God’s ass is on Linda Dano’s head?” - Quisla “My 13 year-old self with my hero in Nov '83, Boston, MA. According to local legend Mr. (Tom) Baker toured the  sites at Lexington, and then Concord, site of the “shot heard round the world;" he strode up to the first American he saw and said “Sorry about all that you know!”” - @petervintonjr​ “At long last, our 4-year national nightmare is over & @SteveKornacki can finally get some sleep.” - Mark Hamill “I think I just saw The Greatest American Hero be a complete and utter perv.” - Chico “Not gonna lie. I kinda wished they'd filmed the Chicago production of Hamilton so I could see Wayne Brady kill Lin-Manuel instead of Leslie.” - @RealLordDalek “Thanks Jon, when we come back Denise is gonna go for $30,000 and I want to find out, really, if you take half of my ass and you put it on my bald head, if it’s going to create new hair. We’ll find out about that after this. ……. more after this.” - Mike Francesa’s evil Earth 47 Half Brother Louie Francesa played by Klaussie before the MG-HSH Super Match “Rebooting The Santa Clause where instead of Tim Allen killing Santa Claus and becoming Santa Claus, Santa Claus kills Tim Allen and becomes Tim Allen” - Bridger Winegar “Ted Cruz is in another Twitter war with Mark Cuban. As a coach I was always looking for mismatches. If I could ever find a mismatch as great as Cuban over Cruz the game would be easy.” - Stan Van Gundy “Just turned on the XFL.Kicker missed a field goal and they immediately interviewed him on the sideline asking what happened haha. That’s tough.” - JJ Watt “Jeffrey Toobin gave a whole new meaning to the word “laptop.” - Gerard Mulligan “No matter how gloom things things get, there's always the future, even the United States of America used to have a future. They tried to us Americans the sky’s the limit, so we destroyed the sky. Where’s your limit now? Oh! burning with toxic poison? Suck that limit!” - Xavier: Renegade Angel “Everything good espn ever did was copied from the George Michael Sports Machine.” - @mattamatic@allpro.social “How is the @WWE not calling this #Wrestlemania36 In Your House?!?!” - Marty DeRosa “When people complain about "cancel culture," they very often mean: I want to live in a world in which there are abundant social and economic rewards for saying and doing certain (but not all!) controversial things, and no social and economic penalties for those same things.” - David Frum “Herb Abrams left this world doing what he loved. Cocaine and hookers." - Brian Blair “Rats.. and I was looking forward to the empty arena NBA Team Challenge Series.” - Lollie “Wow breaking: Jay Glazer is reporting that cleatus the FOX NFL robot has been arressted for double murder outside a Houston strip club. Details to come” - PFTCommenter “Michael Moore is the Michael Avenatti of Anthony Scaramuccis.” - @blackbeltbirder “Will you accept this ass?” -Jason “The Bears are two tight ends away from a firefighter calendar.” -Cyndi “Come on, Quis. Plating is 5 points.” -C “They say you should spend three months income on your wife’s engagement ring. I spent June July and August from the summer that I turned 13… But in my defense it was a wet summer and I mowed a lotta grass, that should count for something.” -Brian (ladies....) “You can’t fuck with Ed Lover.” -Greg “You thought that it was bad now? Wait 25 years. Today's children are tomorrow's leaders; and they will have been have been homeschooled by day drinkers. Let that sink in.” -Q “Doo wah didn’t didn’t, dumb didn’t do.” -Ian “So we were talking about why cereal was invented.” -C “Y’all stop showing me The Needle. I have a visceral reaction to The Needle.” -Anne “Five dollars on a Daily Double? What are you doing, buying a sandwich?” -Q “Sometimes I wonder... what made you think that style of facial hair works for you?” -Mary Jane “Everyone’s a critic.” -C after someone closed the blood bank door after blowing his nose “You raise your kids, you will spoil your grandchildren. You spoil your kids, you will raise your grandchildren.” -Nikki “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” -Joe’s son “Ctrl-F, am I right?” -Klauss “Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm...” -Kim “I’ve been around enough mothers to know what THAT means.” -C “This is now the 5th straight night I've heard one man complain about another man's holes and balls. No one needs sloppy disorganized holes or balls. #pause.” -Gordon “You know... We grew up watching Kamen Rider & Super Sentai wanting to be masked heroes. Pretty sure this isn’t what I had in mind.” -D “Some of y’all have not been chased around the house by your sibling with a knife and it shows.” -Jenna “At least it wasn't real maple syrup. Based on the bottle and consistency it appears to be maple-flavoured sugar liquid spread.” -Dane, on Gritty drinking breakfast syrup “And who decides Lacey Chabert should be the voice of love? She was hardly the voice of Meg Griffin!” -C “That is one UGLY ASS FISH!” -Cat "CBD infused deep dish pizza now available at White Sox games." -Carl “Gordon Pepper You're a psychotic Macaulay Culkin? I fear and respect you.” -Dom “Now I don’t even have to leave my home to not watch a movie.” -Kevin, on HBOMax “Fuck your widgets.” -Klauss “I told Galileo to stop working on his telescope. He’s not fooling anyone!” -Greg as Time Traveling Rip Taylor “Chris Wallace failed so badly that Mike Wallace also failed, and he’s been dead eight years.” -Kevin “Yay for fat shaming.” -Amberlee “Philip Rivers: Miami Dolphin?” -Carl “I don’t have enough black leggings for this shit.” -Shannon “You ever have shrunken beef?” -G “Phrasing.” -Aaron “You put the brain in Vibranium.” -Matt Richards “Several flaws in his argument, most notably that while he is correct that the meat in boneless chicken wings doesn’t come from the wings, neither does it come from the “tender”. And chicken nuggets aren’t made from a chicken’s... um... nuggets. That said, it is Nebraska, and this is what happens in that God forsaken state when they cancel football.” -Kevin “I never got spanked. We were very good kids growing up. Dad threatened us a different way. He reminded us as he was a famous person if we screwed up we would see it on page 6 of the ny post.” -G “God’s perfect idiot.” -Ryan Reynolds “You can’t clean house with a filthy mop.” -Kevin "Four." -Course Manager Joe translating Sir Goph to the crowd at Holey Moley. “May (Tim Tebow’s) marriage last longer than Million Dollar Mile.” -C “They were so offended, they weren’t.” -G “Meanwhile I can't choose a fuck fish...” -Kimberly “I have questions.” -Bressler “Do not insult the good name of Bowzer, damn it!” -Greg “Hiya Barbie! No Ken. He’s sold separately and I’m cutting unnecessary spending.” -Eden as Barbie “I’ll be at the bench if you need me. Please don’t need me.” -C as David Tennant as Scrooge McDuck “Fayetteville gonna Fayetteville.” -Jordan “Why you gotta go make good employees angry? You think another decent phleb is just gonna pop out of nowhere like a State Farm agent? ... 🎵 Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! 🎵 POOF!” -C “I like my men like I like my commuter car: silent.” -Robin “The fact that I had to put "Real Email -- Not Wingo SPAM" in an email subject line tells you a lot about how I comport myself with my colleagues.” -Wingo “Savage Question Song! Y’all fucking FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU GOT IT WRONG! YOU ARE DUMB! No, I’m kidding, you’re not dumb. You fucked up, it happens. That’s life.” -Matt Richards “You know, bucatini. It’s like spaghetti... with goals.” -C “Love like you’re Jesus Christ. Wash your hands like you’re Pontius Pilate.” -Brian “Show me on the tackling dummy where the illegal touching happened.” -Nikki “Get cable. Discover Disney Junior. Muppet Babies. Weird. So weird. #NotMyMuppetBabies.” -Paul  “Take the swabs. Leave the cannoli.” -C “Facetyfacetyfacetyfaaaaaaaace!” -Nikki “If you win, you may smoke it. WHEN you lose, you must eat it. I don’t make the rules.” -Erskine “The internet discovers that Wendy Williams is a terrible person once a week.” -Adam “¡Carajo! Errbahurr!” -me, upon looking at a full parking lot “In these increasingly uncertain times, I want to be absolutely clear on something. I never *don't* want pizza. It is never a bad or inappropriate time for pizza. I will never, in any way, be displeased by receiving pizza. And, at no time in my life, will I ever say "no, that's fine, personally I don't want any pizza." I hope I have made myself clear.” -Brian “That’s a terrifying prospect. Goddamnit, I’m in.” -Kimberly “My dream from December 2020 involved a previous neighbor and his two-mouthed dog. Not two-headed, but two mouthed. Imagine a Doberman crossed with a Big Mac.” -Evil Travis “Sounds like SOMEONE is jealous of the awesome sex her witch friends are having, just saying. #StellaImmanuelOnlyDoesMissionary” -Shannon “Why does Ken Jennings get applause for his use of a buzzer during championship rounds but the Astros are vilified? That’s Double Jeopardy in more ways than one!” -Jess “That's Roman's new move...the Bowel Movement" -JB After Roman tips Corbin over in the potty during Royal Rumble “Smoke my weed.” -Kyle “Tomorrow on Personal Injury Court: "You destroyed my vagina!" Me: "Continue."” -Klauss “Vernon Valley/Action Park on line one.” -Gordon’s one-line review of “Cannonball” “There’s no substitute for good old fashioned know-how.” -Prof. O “So a coworker says she’s pro-gun, pro-God, pro-LEO, pro-Trump, pro-life and that all lives matter. I say to her, quoting Colin Firth, ‘I’m a Catholic whore who is currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.’ See? I can flex for rubes on social media, too.” -C “Boy. Smoke really let himself go.” -Caleb “SUPER MATCH on tonight’s MGHSH: ______ LOVER $1000: Red Hot $500: Lousy $250: Latin.... I’ve been called all these things. At the same time.” -C “BREAKING: Massachusetts Lottery names Tom Brady its spokesman for its new lotto game -- Pick 6.” -Doug “If music be the food of love, then umami is the food of food!” -Heather “We already have artificial intelligence in the announcers booth… His name is Joe Buck.” -Brian “I don’t have the time or the crayons to show you how you did that wrong.” -Q “Okay so about Herve Villechaize’s dick.” -Klauss “Sharon after two Proseccos is the funniest motherfucker alive.” -Matt Richards “There’s tired, and then there’s Disney tired. He’s worn out!” -Terrie “Who the fuck is Mickey Rooney?” -Greg’s older brother when he was 8 “Remember, exercise causes endorphins. Endorphins make you happy....” -Michael “And happy people don’t kill their husbands.” -everyone  “Peace, love, dope! Now get the hell out of my house!” -Evil Travis “My sister is being disgusted!” -Shannon’s sister “I already have my picks to replace Condfederacy monuments/statues and other members of the slave trade/colonialism. 1. Spock 2, Any Pokemon 3. Columbo (Specifically for Christopher Columbus) 4. The lead singer of GWAR 5. Dolly Parton” -Dane “Having said that, KEEP STAYING INSIDE. Let’s put this in easy terms: did you ever have a teacher say “If you’re good the entire week, we’ll watch a movie in class on Friday”? And when you made it to Thursday, everybody kind of had an eye on the dipshit in the class who was probably going to screw it up for everybody? Okay, right now, as far as COVID goes, it’s Thursday. Keep an eye on Adam. Or...I mean, whatever the kid’s name was in your class.” -Adam “I'm at the level of drunk where everything is HILARIOUS and I'm very pleased with myself... now I’m having a second drink and wearing this VERY NECESSARY hat.” -Arianna “May your 2020 be like ABC’s, shaky at first, but getting stronger.” -BB “A bunch of Goofuses and nary a Gallant.” -Ian “Hard and Stormy - the next pornhub film from Michael Avenatti.” -JB after Chico tried mistakenly to say “Dark and stormy” “With a name like Joe Exotic, expect more fingers than teeth.” -Chico re: Tiger King “I’d rather offend someone by showing up, by trying to understand and trying to care, than offend someone by not showing up, by refusing to understand and for appearing indifferent.” -Christina “If you feel the need to throw shade from behind an anonymous Twitter account... Don’t. Say it to my face or don’t say it at all. Don’t waste my time. It’s 2020. We’re not on here wasting people’s time. Stop it.” -Anne “His shake brings nobody to the yard.” -Jess re: HQreeper “Did Bill Cullen do Blockheads?” -Q “OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!” -C "I do normally have energy, but I did just win the Space Jam, so..." -Neumann “So watching the NFL Playoff game and my first thought is that I wonder how the Houston Astros were able to show the Texans how to steal all of the KC Chiefs' signals from their playbook.” -Gordon “Does anybody here have a dollar?” -C “No but I have a chicken!” -Q “You know what borders on insanity? Canada and Mexico.” -Chelsea’s friend Cathie “A 1 followed by 100 zeroes is known as a Googol. A 1 followed by 1,000 zeroes is known as the number of e-mails you will receive from 1-800-FLOWERS in the week leading up to Valentine's Day if you've ever bought even one bouquet in your life.” -Adam “I think I hate everything and everybody, so I’m going to get drunk on beer that’s been brewed in an old sheep carcass and then I’m going to stick my tiny penis in a dead dog I found in a ditch to make hate-babies or something because I am actually more stupid than mud.” -Alucard, impersonating Trevor Belmont, Castlevania “10/10 for entertainment and entry level gaming abilities. Gratuitous gore and endless ammunition. You will literally cry from laughing. Especially if you're as good at being bad at it as I am.” -Becca “I’m trying to eat better. After work today I’m going to have myself a nice salad. That’s right a nice Caprese salad with tomatoes and mozzarella cheese, and croutons… Well OK one crouton… One very large round crouton. Pizza. I’m going to order a pizza.” -Brian “Coming to theaters in January 2021: 2Jeopardy 2 GOAT.” -Evil Travis “You overthought it!” -Michael “You know me, Michael. Overthinking is kinda my thing.” -C “I had a baby.... in my king cake.” -Kathryn “hear me out: a cross between a heating pad AND a weighted blanket. *become* the hot pocket.” -Chelsea “Guessing both Foxes (New Fox & Disney) are catching onto the reality that Seth (MacFarlane) only has one idea, which he keeps trotting out in different disguises.” -Kevin “How’s your Wednesday?” -Wingo “Oh you know, places to go, people to see, lives to save, asses to cover. You know, a Wednesday!” -C “That’s why I don’t hold grudges, because I can’t remember shit.” -Joey “Brainvision has been brought to you by the Fire Me Please Sporting Division Showdown! Who will win? The Cleveland Browns? The Houston Astros? The NJ Devils? The NY KNicks? It will be fun to find out! That's the Fire Me Please Sporting Division SHowdown!” -Gordon  "I have sent a dick pic. I didnt mean to do it. Mom, I'm sorry.” -contestant on The Circle “You can make excuses or you can make game moves. Pick one!” -C “He who hesitates is sacked.” -Nikki on Tua “Merry Crimbo!... I mean, Merry Chrysler!... I mean...” -Statboy “Welcome to this edition of “Faith in Humanity”, brought to yo by Bleagh. 🤮” -Gordon “Ass trumps feet, count it.” -VRM “On the Season Finale of St. Patswhere, Chief Surgeon Brady suddenly realizes that time has caught up to him and can't accurately perform like he as done in years past. Director of Medicine Belichick talks to his staff and is irate that instead of researching Vrabel-Tannehillitis, they brought him documents on Bunglaria. He punishes them by making them work on back cases and organizing them by bacteria count. In the operating room, time is not on the side of the staff as the patient is also suffering from Henry Syndrome where he rushed for 182 yards and a touchdown. To further accentuate the problems, Belichick finds out that Vrabel-Tennehillitis eats up the time left in the patient, despite his efforts to make time stand still. With time running out, Brady tries to push through his decline and makes a dangerous surgical operation. Sadly, the operation would turn to be fatal for the patient as Brady slips and cuts through vital organs and the scalpal is intercepted by the heart. The patient dies on the table and leaving both Brady and Belichick wondering if they still have what it takes in this new era of medicine. Will our dynamic duo return? find out next season...on St. Patswhere.” -Cyndi “That looks nothing like Tom Villard.” -Mike, anytime someone mentions Chris “Captain America” Evans as “America’s ass” “Okay, no no no no stop halt quit it cease desist. I will sign off on an Anglicized live-action remake of Ranma 1/2 before I approve of this.” -me reacting to a Fresh Prince reboot “Welcome to the Absolutely Fucking Crazy Championship game! With your analysts Tom Brady and Lamar Jackson. Tom: “Hey Lamar, how come we’re not playing in this game?” Lamar: “Cause we suck, man!” • Carl “Politicians are temporary. Wu-Tang is forever.” -@PressedNC “Coffee is not meaningless. Coffee is everything.” -LiyaZee “in the grand scheme of things, aren't we ALL between a sex store and a crematorium?” -Chelsea “You can cancel the show. You can not. Cancel. The culture.” -Chico “Go be bitter elsewhere.” -Hannah “Happy holidays ... and you’re welcome.” -Wayne Brady.... after telling us he’s not wearing underwear. === May our collective 2021 not suck as much as this year did. Seriously, I tried to burn my calendar and it wouldn’t burn.  Anyway, here’s to 2021... Come together, just think of tomorrow.