#Tay chews the fat

[rainyfestivalsweets]

2/4/24

The MLM hack list

Alright. So there are a bunch of MLM diet companies that make a shitload of money of of us and yet our obesity rates in developed countries are thru the freaking roof.

How many times have you gotten the messages on Facebook, Instagram or whatever and it's like: Hey girl, haven't seen you since high school, let's get coffee... OR... they just post the precopied message & ask about your goals, & proceed to add a flurry of hyperpositive social media messages, like my friend recently did to me.

Did anyone in high school like you? Not me! Do that screams danger from the start. I was horrendously bullied in elementary school. I was gone to a parochial school for a couple years so the only reason that I avoided constant bullying in high school was because... they forgot who I was.

Here are some ideas I stole from various companies, cheaper:

Herbalife: this company's stuff works, for 2 reasons- you replace 2 out of 3 meals with shakes. However, alot of people are not successful if they make their shakes at home and if they add in all the snack bars. People do, however, lose weight if they get their shakes from a "nutrition" shop. Why? Because they blend those shakes super thick with a metric shitton of ice & I think alot of them add sf pudding, which enhances the thickness. Also, you get an iced tea, normally with added fiber. So the answer is- you have 2 drinks that take a long time to finish AND give you added caffeine & fiber. So? Just do it at home: keep your shake calories low, make it extra large & thicker than a snicker, & follow with a caffeinated tea & add fiber to it. I like the herbalife brand but I order it off Amazon so I don't have to get the whole shpeel. Now brand has "prebiotic fiber" that is cheaper. There is also benefiber from Walmart. It is cheap, so why not?

Beachbody: you don't need to spend a billion dollars on protein shakes or meal replacement shakes. I do, however, love some of their workout systems.

Tai Slim: this company's great idea was the chocolate gluccomannon chews, I just didn't know ot at the time. I have tried to order it but have been unable to so maybe they don't make it any more. So my hack would be- the chocolate calcium chews, some gluccomannon tablets, & a large glass of water.

Modere: this company was all over tik tok & reels for awhile, while the reps were trying to schlep people into this scheme. The Golden Child was the liquid CLA chocolate, probably because it tastes like a chocolatey treat while it is actually a CLA supplement. CLA can be purchased at almost any health food store, way cheaper.

Plexus: the pink drink. More research needed on this, but I think it is just a fiber drink. Hack: gluccomannon powder & a Starburst all pink flavor packet.

Most of these companies often sell an associated "fat burner:" often something with caffeine, ecgc from green tea, etc. You can get something similar at a health food store for a fraction of the price. If you want something fancy, there is Ember from the Ambrosia Collective. Use the Google. MFINGCOO is a discount code that I think still works, but it isn't mine.

Buy In for then"tribe:" Weight watchers (not an MLM, just a diet culture sales supergiant but they still somehow acquire affiliates, idk if that qualifies as a True MLM), beachbody, herbalife are pretty cultish in nature-- they rope you into a bunch of meetings, calls, and online groups. If someone calls you to ask why you weren'tat Power Hour, you may have bought into a cult! It works by reprogramming certain thought & behavior patterns..... Basically a bunch of people are sharing ideas regularly and getting involved in their cultish antics.& promoting it on social media. (Example: OMG have you tried the new WW/herbalife/beachbody PROTEIN BAR?? Only $15 for 4!! What a deal! LINK IN MY BIO) You can do this on your own by finding your own people. You can get your own seminars by watching a lot of youtube. Anything that focuses on reprogramming you to cook at home and eat primarily whole foods will probably work. Join free groups. Disregard anything outside of what works for you ( I have to ignore a lot of dessert recipes because they cause bingeing for me).

Lipozene: pretty sure this is just gluccomannon. You can find gluccomannon tablets way cheaper at a health food store. Walmart also was carrying a generic version.

Hydroxycut: pretty sure the active ingredient here is HCA? I don't have a bottle currently to look. But isn't HCA just garcinia? So much cheaper at a health food store. I personally cannot take hydroxycut, it makes me RAGE. I like, get upset and freak out at work, so I don't even think I am willing to try it again.

It works: I think the skinny coffee would be comparable to the "slim coffee," which was cheaper but seemed to be chromium. You can just pick up a chromium supplement... & seriously, you can just drink coffee. Don't add calories to it.

Apple cider vinegar gummies: Just take shots of apple cider vinegar. You can buy a gallon at walmart, it will last a long time. Play with shot recipes, you can do good girl moonshine (ala Trim Healthy Mamma), & use it liberally for dressing recipes.

L-Glutamine: don't remember the company, but this is available at more health food stores, not for $100 a container.

Maybe I have bought so much shit so you don't have it. Is there an MLM company I missed? 🤔 let me know and I will check it out for future posts.

Remember- whatever you do, stay safe. Research your shit. Focus on your daily habits and remember that what you are eating outweighs almost any supplement you could buy. Eat whole food, walk, have an exercise routine & stop expecting a 30 day result for a body that took you 40 years (or whatever) to create.

I definitely don't think the ozempic trend is worth the cost, but if there is no other way for you & you have the money, it is worth a shot. Just don't expect your insurance to pay for it. Many insurance companies are currently not covering it, and I don't really know if they should consider it.

Surgery? If there is no other way and you want to, go for it.

The way that these things work though, is by changing what you are eating. Period. These are all systems to change what you ingest and you can change what you eat for free.

I am still on Nomorbidity & Alkemi from the Ambrosia Collective. I have not found suitable replacements for them but I am also not looking hard, they have a reasonable price point to me.

Edited: To reword, as WW is a diet culture vulture, not quite an MLM. Just a big money making company.

[velvetineblue]

“ it’s only a crime if i get caught. “ ( from nova ! )

he quirks an eyebrow at her, amused to a point. " murder's not really that kind of crime, is it? " it's not the kind that goes away as long as you don't acknowledge it. it stains your hands, and sullies everyone in it's proximity: a visible ripple effect through the lives of everyone it touches, like a drop of poison in a clear glass of water . . .

. . . but whatever. he can't make that his problem: not today. Nova's target was far from an innocent victim: in fact, he'd slain many (and endangered many more) through his negligence. in a rutsy factory in a run-down part of town, hidden away from the eyes of the law (and hidden from his business partners, who had no clue about this secret side-project of his...), he produced dangerous, low-quality drugs for a high-quality price. all for his own gain. his callousness and greed made him fair game, and the ruthless, money-hungry CEO wouldn't possibly be missed by many, Tai thinks— and any family members who did cry for him could probably dry their eyes on a fat stack of paper money. Black Fang, the organization, wanted him gone: for vengeance, for justice, and to send a message. a reminder that anyone who did business in the city ( their city ) was going to do it RIGHT. or face the consequences. . . . yet, from what little Tai about Nova, he's not sure she really cares about any of that at all. he can't tell if she needs a reason to strike; for all he knows, she did this for fun, as a hobby. it's an unsettling thought, but he would be a fool to think he could avoid rubbing shoulders with some absolute psycho's in the underworld . . . " well, anyway... you can do the job however you want— just remember we're making a POINT here, so if you want to make a big show of it, try to keep it thematic, yeah? " he waves it off, not interested in hearing the gorey details of how she plans to do it, or where she'll leave the body... " — and DON'T send me pictures when it's done, okay. I might be out to eat— and I hate when people ruin my appetite with their killing sprees, " he complains pointedly. clearly, it's happened to him before, and jokes aside about his distaste, IT WAS JUST PLAIN STUPID. technological evidence was such a pain to discard of completely... " — you'll get paid when we see it on the evening news; that's all the confirmation we need. " he leaned his weight on one leg, arms crossed, and cocked his head at her. gleaming, curious eyes regarded his new 'partner' patiently. it was obvious he'd been through this spiel once or twice before. usually, this was the part where contractors asked their questions, shared their concerns about the job, or aired their grievances about the payment plan, and the 'boss' stood ready to field them all, chewing away at a piece of cinnamon gum as he waits.

[zealouskryptonitefan]

Get Ayurvedic Treatment of Diabetes in New Friends Colony Clinic

Introduction: Millions of people throughout the world suffer from the chronic metabolic illness known as diabetes mellitus. Shuddhi Ayurveda Panchkarma NDMC, DDA, DJB, CAPF, CGHS, Approved Clinic in New Friends Colony, an ancient Indian holistic healing method, takes a thorough approach to the treatment of diabetes while contemporary medicine gives excellent control choices. In order to address the underlying causes of the ailment, Ayurveda emphasizes the harmony between the mind, body, and spirit by providing individualized therapies, lifestyle changes, and herbal medicines. We shall examine the foundations of Ayurveda and its all-encompassing approach to treating diabetes in this post.

Understanding Diabetes in Ayurveda: In Ayurveda, diabetes is referred to as "Madhumeha" or "Prameha." According to Ayurvedic principles, impaired digestion and metabolism lead to an accumulation of toxins (ama) in the body. This, in turn, affects the functioning of pancreatic cells, resulting in high blood sugar levels. Ayurveda considers diabetes as a result of an imbalance in the doshas (energies) within the body, particularly the Vata and Kapha doshas.

Holistic Approach to Diabetes Management: Ayurveda treats diabetes by focusing on the root cause of the condition rather than just managing its symptoms. The treatment approach is personalized, taking into account an individual's unique constitution (prakriti), imbalances, and lifestyle factors. Here are some key components of Ayurvedic treatment for diabetes:

Diet and Nutrition: Ayurveda places great importance on dietary modifications to manage diabetes. It recommends a balanced diet consisting of whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Foods that are sweet, heavy, or oily should be limited. Ayurvedic principles also emphasize mindful eating, chewing food thoroughly, and avoiding overeating.

Lifestyle Modifications: Ayurveda recognizes the role of a sedentary lifestyle and stress in diabetes management. Regular exercise, such as walking, yoga, or tai chi, is encouraged to improve digestion, metabolism, and insulin sensitivity. Stress reduction techniques, including meditation and deep breathing exercises, are also beneficial for maintaining emotional well-being.

Herbal Treatments: To treat diabetes, Shuddhi Ayurveda Panchkarma NDMC, CAPF, DDA, DJB, Approved Clinic in New Friends Colony employs a variety of herbs and natural cures. Bitter gourd (karela), fenugreek (methi), Indian gooseberry (amla), turmeric (haldi), and cinnamon (dalchini) are a few herbs that are frequently utilized. These plants have anti-diabetic qualities that control blood sugar. To determine the right dosage and combination of herbs, you should speak with a Shuddhi Ayurveda Panchkarma NDMC, CAPF, DDA, DJB, Approved Clinic in New Friends Colony practitioner.

anchakarma Therapy: Panchakarma, a detoxification therapy in Ayurveda, is often recommended for diabetes management. This therapy involves a series of cleansing procedures to eliminate toxins and balance the doshas. Panchakarma therapies like Virechana (therapeutic purgation) and Basti (medicated enema) are believed to have a positive impact on insulin sensitivity and overall well-being.

Ayurvedic Medicines: Ayurvedic formulations known as "rasayanas" are commonly prescribed for diabetes management. These herbal preparations aim to rejuvenate the body, enhance metabolism, and strengthen pancreatic function. Examples of such formulations include Chandraprabha Vati, Shilajit, and Triphala Churna. It is essential to consult an experienced Ayurvedic practitioner before starting any herbal medication.

In summary, ayurveda offers a comprehensive and individualized approach to treating diabetes. By treating the underlying bodily imbalances,

[artisticallyenhanced]

*inhales deeply*

I LOVE ENDWALKER

That is all.

[cxptainsparklez]

//I uh... dropped out of the fandom for a good while. Always has been in my heart but life of course has it’s own plans for me. What in the heck happened??

[wonderwomanfantasy]

fur baby

pupppppppppppyyyyyyyy

Vlad King x Reader

warnings: none!

word count: (about) 1,000

summary: doggies

you glowered out the window as you toweled off your hair. stupid rain. stupid storm. and stupid umbrella for staying at home when you needed them most.

you changed out of your drenched work clothes and put on your thickest fluffiest sweatpants and a warm sweater. it was definitely curl up under a blanket and watch tv weather.

you look out the window at the sheets of rain covering the windows. you hoped Sekijiro had a better time getting home than you did. as soon as the thought entered your head your phone started buzzing, your heart sank when you saw who was calling.

Aizawa wouldn't be calling unless it was something bad. Your head spun with a million worst-case scenarios you couldn't help but think the worst had happened to your long-term boyfriend and Eraserhead drew the short straw in telling you the news. That wasn’t it at all.

“You like dogs right?” Aizawa asked before even saying hello.

“What?” you floundered

“You and Sekijiro are dog people right?” he repeated

“Oh- yeah I mean we have a dog and-” he cut you off again

“Would you like a second?” you blinked and pulled the phone away to check it really was Aizawa calling you.

“What?”

At the best of times, Shota had a knack for seeing into people’s heads when they didn’t necessarily want him to, but this was downright scary. You’d been thinking for a while that Tai, Sekijiro’s bulldog, needed a friend. He had started chewing on shoes, a sure sign that he was bored at home alone, and the two of you just worked so much… but even so another dog was a lot of work so you’d been trying to find ways around it. You had just come to the conclusion today that there was no other choice and Now Shota was calling you with an offer of a dog.

“Why do you have a dog?” you asked, ignoring his initial question. There was a long sigh from the other end of the phone.

“Hizashi almost ran over a dog on his way home from work. Poor thing was lost in the rain. We took her to the vet but no chip, and it looks like she was abandoned, now do you want a dog?”

“Why can’t you keep her? unless you’re unloading a feral animal on me.” you scoffed, you could hear an edge creeping into his voice,

“No I wouldn’t do that- she’s a sweetheart, and angle really but Gordan-” Gordan was Shota’s 47-year-old half-blind cat that he loved to death“-Gordan is afraid of her, keeps batting at her nose when she tries to play I’m worried he’s going to scratch her nose off.

You sighed. this was a perfect situation, a free sweet dog right in your lap. “I can’t without asking Sekijiro first,” you decided firmly.

“Ask him when he gets home will you?” Shota said.

“I’ll ask him,” you promised and said goodbye.

“Can’t do what without asking me first?” you jumped about a foot in the air as you whirled around to face your boyfriend who had materialized silently behind you.

“Don’t scare me like that!” you hissed smacking his chest. He smiled and laughed lightly before pulling you into a tight hug.

“Sorry baby, didn’t mean to scare you, still in hero mode,” he said, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips “who was on the phone?”

“Aizawa. Hizashi found a stray dog he wanted to know if we could take it, I told him I would ask.” his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas at the news. in an instant, he let go of you and knelt to the ground picking up Tai like a baby and rubbing the fat bulldog's belly.

“Would you like a friend? I think you would-” the pudgy bulldog wagged with his whole body his long pink tongue flicking out licking the tip of his nose.

“Well I think that settles it,” he laughed “let’s go see what the cat dragged in”

The dog was bone thin and had patchy fur but true to Aizawa’s word, she was the sweetest thing you’d ever met. She was skittish at first but soon she pressed her side to your leg and let you pet her. You couldn't help but fall in love with her and best of all she got along great with Tai “We can’t not take her home,” Sekijiro whispered, you couldn’t agree more.

“So you’ll watch after her?” Shota asked.

“Yes.” you both said in unison.

[harveywritings92]

Fatgum x OC: oneshots 1 Daddy and baby's day out.

Taishiro's wife Violet is exhausted from staying up with their baby, so the tender tank hero decides to take their little one to work with him, Not on patrol! their gonna spend time in his office, so mommy can have few hours of sleep. While there they gets a lot of familiar visitors.

------------------------------------------

"Ai-chan!~ you’re going out with daddy today!" Taishiro cooed to his two month old daughter as his wife got the baby secured in the carrier for him, unfortunately the carrier was a little too small on his bigger form, so it was gonna be Fit-gum today! or at least until they get to his office... where he always keeps extra food around in bulk, Tai's thoughts were broken by his wife handing him the diaper bag, while rambling about Taiga's naps and feeding times. "She's starting to roll, So try make sure she's on her back during a nap. If the formula is too hot- put it in the fridge for-"  

The blond man cut his wife off by pulling her close and kissing her on the head. "You don't have worry my little sugar queen, We'll be fine,  just worry about you today, Okay?" the red head blushed and tiredly mumbling "I love you." before going to their bedroom, the pro-hero waited a few minutes before Violet's soft snores reached his ears.

He carefully looked in their room Taishiro felt a wave of relief wash over him seeing his wife sleeping like a log, before looking down at Taiga her little yellow eyes looked up at him curiously before calmly settling against chest soothed by the rhythmic beating of his heartbeat, Taishiro smiled before double checking the that the carrier was secure before zipping his hoodie up half way and quietly walked out of the apartment.  

[At Fat-Gum's Office.]

Taishiro had Taiga set up in her baby swing facing him so she wouldn't get scared and think he left her alone, the tv was was playing some cartoon a low volume which seemed to occupy her little mind, the pro-hero enjoyed some snacks while catching up on his paperwork, occasionally Taiga would babble causing, the blond to look over making she was alright. So far the little bean looked confused as to why her dad's body seemed to be looking taller and rounder by the hour. Just then the office door swung open to reveal Kirishma walking on in, He was asking about his patrol schedule for the week, Taishiro told him to hold on a sec while he typed it out. when the redhead noticed Taiga in her swing.

"Ai-chan!~ are you and mama Gum visiting your papa?" the teen asked in a cutesy tone as he crouched down to see the little one better. Taiga babbled at him as Kirishima's red eyes surveyed the office confused not seeing his mentor's wife anywhere; nor did he remember seeing her downstairs. "Did Vi-san step out?" he asked curiously as it was rare for Violet to be far from the baby.

"Nope, It's just me Taiga today."

"Oh, is Vi-san sick or something?"

"Oh no, Violet is just tired, we've started putting Ai-chan to bed in her nursery now, and it's causing her suffer from a bout of separation anxiety. my wife has working to prove that we haven't left her alone." Fatgum explained regret was evident in his tone as he wishes he could've been home to helped Violet a bit more then just giving her today off!

"Hey I'm sure your wife understands..."

Just then Taiga started crying causing Kirishma to panic, he started waving random toys and shaking rattles to try and calm her down! Taishiro who was watching calmly saved what he was doing on the computer and went to check on his daughter. "What's wrong Teddy Graham?" he cooed picking her up, he checked her diaper, Nope. all clear! "Guess you're just hungry, eh? Don't worry Daddy got ya covered!" Taiga quieted and gave her dad bright hopeful eyes at the mention of food, causing Kirishma to chuckle at her reaction, Yep! this was definitely Fatgum's baby..

"Dang, Babies sure do eat a lot!" Kirishma exclaimed brow creased as he and Tamaki who had arrived shortly after him; were watching their mentor feed his daughter for a second in amazement. While most babies would normally have one or half a bottle of formula, Taiga however has about two or three... "the doctor think it's because of mine and Violet's quirks intermingling is causing her have a abnormally large apatite." Taishiro explained while resting Taiga against his shoulder gently rubbing his daughter's back until he heard a little hiccup, with that the blond sat her on his lap, as the redheaded teen absorbed this information, it made sense Both Fatgum and Vi-Shock need to consume an enormous amount of calories and sugar to keeps their quirks active...

Kirishma felt his teeth start to itch as he thought back to that summer when he first met miss Violet. watching the red haired woman straight up eating raw sugar cubes while she used her quirk like bug zapper on hungry mosquitoes. "What do you think Ai-chan's quirk will be?" Tamaki suddenly asked causing their mentor to pause as he thought this over he had absobtion, Violet was electric...

"Conduc-"  before he could answer Gang Orca (who is Taiga's Godfather) burst in to the office along with a very annoyed Endeavor following behind causing everyone to jump. "Where's my little pearl?" he exclaimed before taking Taiga from Taishiro and held her in the air causing her to babble and giggle while Orca cooed and awwed "and what are you two doing here?" Taishiro huffed at the two invaders.

Endeavor grimaced watching orca act like an idiot. "We were having a meeting when this idiot spotted your spawn from the restaurant window... " the fire user grumbled clearly annoyed as they listened to Gang Orca gush to Taiga. "Oh you're getting so big! and looking like Violet every passing day!" he exclaimed cuddling the two month old, her father had tight smile on his face while he and everyone else eyed Taiga and sweatdropped. From her blond hair to her yellow eyes, right down to her toothless Cheshire-like smile; they all thought the same thing.

[No matter how you see it, that baby looks exactly like Fatgum/ Me...]

[Timeskip brought to you by Taiga barfing on Gang Orca.]

Violet woke up with a start as she read the alarm clock on the end table. it was almost midnight?! Holy crap! she slept for 14 hours?! she's gotta make dinner! do the laundry!?… she gotta... gotta...Holy damn! she's really gotta pee! the redhead winced as she rushed into the bathroom to do her business, before groggily making her way out into the hall and crept to the baby's room and saw Taiga sleeping soundly with the radio playing a lullaby in low volume...

the redhead's brow as she listened to the woman singing it sounded familiar... Violet sucked in a breath as she realized it was her voice! Her husband must of made a recording of her singing... Why didn't she think about that? but how did Tai... or rather when did Taishiro record her singing?...speaking of which where was her husband?

Teal eyes surveyed the hall before noticed the soft glow from the tv coming from the living room, quietly the tall woman made her way over the living room to find Taishiro in his mid-body form sleeping on the couch; surrounded by snack wrappers and soda cans, on closer inspection Violet could see he had earbuds in and his phone was unlocked...

curious the Canadian hero gently took one of his earbuds out, and brought it to her ear and blushed when she heard her own voice singing "Highway to hell" in the shower! she looked through his playlist and saw he had whole bunch of recordings of her singing when she thought she was alone! Violet's face was almost as red as Kirishma's hair as she set the phone back down and went to put the earbud back, when her teal orbs suddenly met the mischief filled yellow eyes of her husband.

"How long have you been wake for?"

"Since I felt you fiddle around with my earbud, got scared I was going deaf for a second..."

"Sorry gummy, would you like me sing you back to sleep?"

Taishiro stared at his wife's bare legs peeking out from his T-shirt, which was big enough to be a dress on her, his eyes then focused on her exposed shoulder, her clavicle was begging to be kissed and decorated with hickeys. "Gum? are you still there?" the redhead was suddenly down into Taishiro's lap. "I'm not really sleepy...I'm in the mood for a different type of music." the blond said huskily Violet gave her husband a blank look before feeling his hand trail up her thigh... oh!

{after a quiet smexy time because baby in the house..]

Taishiro was back in his fit form, he had a dopy grin on his face as Violet was resting against his chest as they enjoyed some-post sex lollipops. "...Y'know" Violet hummed causing Taishiro to looked at her curiously. "What?" her blond husband asked asked while unwrapping another lollipop and tossing his old chew up stick in the trash. "That was pretty genius...making a mix-tape of my singing for Taiga." She said pointing her lollipop at him. "Oh I didn't come up that, Endeavor told me to do it." Violet gave him skeptical look Taishiro snorted. "I don't quite believe it myself, but it's true."

{flashback}

Endeavor and Gang Orca dropped in unexpectedly, Orca pulled his favorite uncle routine on Taiga and played with the baby until she threw up on him and Gang Orca awkwardly handed Taiga back to Fatgum and the two left. but, not before Endeavor paused stared at back at Taiga then at Taishiro with an unreadable expression. "Does your wife sing to your kid?" the large hero looked back at the fire user incredulously. "Urm..yes?" Fatgum answered unsure why the redhaired man was asking, Endeavor was silent before speaking back up "Make a recording and play it for the baby when it's time to sleep." with that Endeavor left the office.

[flashback end.]

Taishiro finished his story now on his fourth lollipop, Violet still had a rough time believing it. "I thought it wasn't going to work!" the blond said anxiously "I thought the second I put her down she'd start crying, but nope! She heard your voice and Ai-chan just settled down." Just then the couple were interrupted by the startled wail from Taiga's room Violet sighed about get up, only to yelp in surprise when Taishiro put his boxers on and lifted her up bridal style and her brought her to their room laid her down on the bed "Tai the bab-" her husband cut her off with a kiss and pulled away with a smirk. "No,no sugar queen, papa-gum got this!" he said with a wink before going to check on their daughter.

[shopsui]

Pictured here is my oldest friend Phillip, holding up his ironing board featuring a cover by Sylvia Tai Designs, designed and made in Melbourne almost 30 years ago and still in one piece! So good to visit Phillip in his beautiful colourful home and chewing the fat non-stop for 2.5 hours! #beauty #art #friendship #collectibles (at St Kilda, Victoria) https://www.instagram.com/p/COcpxp5DWto/?igshid=w06mlgjk7raw

[fire-the-headcanons]

Follow the Beacon Raven—The Students Have Become the Masters

[Link to Masterpost]

"And...there!" Summer dusted the extra flour from her hands. Raven had to admit, the uniform was now a passable imitation of Professor Mesánychta's starry suit. Hopefully it still would be in five minutes.

"How do I look?" Tai asked, wiggling the fake mustache.

Qrow paused spraying Summer's weird gray hair thing over himself to look. "It's not big enough."

"It's the biggest one in the pack."

"Use two," Summer suggested, picking up a hairbrush and starting toward Raven's hair.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, pulling away.

"Well, you're not going to look like her with your hair down! I'll be gentle, promise."

"...Fine," Raven muttered, allowing the Huntress to sit behind her. Vanta's voice rang in her ears, warning her to never turn her back to the enemy.

"Your hair's so soft. What kind of soap do you use?"

"Lye, deer tallow, and soybean oil," Raven said. "We're running out though, so I might just switch to egg." Summer's hands stilled, and she glanced back to see her teammate frozen with a strange look on her face. Two months into school, these episodes didn't terrify Raven quite the way they used to. "Why? What kind of soap do you use?"

"Uh...Swan?" she squeaked. 

"Why would anyone make soap from swan? It's got barely any fat in it and it tastes bad enough already without being dry too." Raven shook her head. "You buy yours, right? They're overcharging you."

Summer stared into the distance, eyebrows pressed together and mouth open slightly. "I'm sorry, I just realized I have no idea what soap is."

"You city-dwellers are weird," Qrow said, leaning over so Tai could stick another fake mustache over his other eyebrow. Fully painted, his hair looked more like he'd stuck his head in a bucket of Summer's flour than it did like Ozpin's silver. Summer shook off her confusion and continued running the brush through Raven's hair, starting to gather and twist it.

"I thought it was made of synthetic stuff now." Tai wiggled his much larger and slightly asymmetric mustache at Qrow, who wiggled his blonde and bushy eyebrows back. They both snorted, cracking up.

She rolled her eyes before closing them, rather enjoying the feeling of someone else working with her hair. Vanta had always just cut it when it got too tangled for Raven to comb on her own as a child, and her long hair was a point of pride now. Though... if Vanta had ever combed her hair it probably wouldn't have been pleasant.

"You gonna wear a wig?" Tai asked, starting to re-part his hair down the middle. "Your hair’s kinda short."

"All my wigs are at home. I'll just do a french braid, it'll get the point across."

"You did a really good job with her apron," Qrow said.

"Thanks! It was hard to get those embossed swirls right, but they're so pretty on Carmine's…" she tied the band around Raven's head. "They're not super secure, though, I was doing it by hand and it was rushed. I'm torn, I kind of want to bring my sewing machine to school but it's so heavy and takes up so much space…" 

Raven's eyes flew open. "You have a sewing machine?" she and Qrow demanded at the same time.

"Yeah. ...Do you sew?"

"Of course. Who doesn't?" Raven shrugged.

"I don't," Tai said.

"What do you do if you rip something?" Qrow asked, wincing as he peeled a moustache off his eyebrow.

"Take it to Summer. Or a tailor." That's dumb, Raven didn't say. Tai shook his head. "Man, I thought living in the wilds meant you dealt with the Grimm more. But you dealt with, like, everything more."

"Next thing you'll be telling me you don't know how to dig a latrine," Qrow teased, finally getting the other eyebrow off and rubbing at his skin.

Tai chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyes darting between the two of them. "...Isn't it just a hole?"

"That's the joke."

"Ah, gotcha."

Summer's hands stilled again. "Done. What do you think?"

Raven accepted the mirror and tilted her head, inspecting the swirls of hair that Summer had woven together. The cardboard pendant sat on her forehead, painted silver with the broken moon embossed in its center. It was… nice, dressing up.

"You look a lot like Professor Mesánychta," Tai said, dousing his head with hairspray. "Done!"

"You look a little… less like Port," Summer laughed.

"What?" Tai demanded, gesturing exaggeratedly as he shifted his voice lower and imitated Peter's slightly pompous tone. "How dare you suggest I am not the one and only Peter Port! Why, Miss Rose, I'm hurt."

Qrow snorted into his hand and Summer managed to choke out, "Okay, now you look like him."

"MISTER TAUPE!" He pointed at Qrow, who was shaking with laughter and holding the glasses to his face. "I'm going to shout at you while you do laundry!"

"Is that shirt synthetic material?!" Summer demanded, yanking on her leather work gloves and putting her fists on her hips in a perfect imitation of Carmine. "Get out! You think your aura's going to hold for long if you're on fire? I'm not doing the paperwork if you get yourself burned!"

Raven sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Detention, Mr. Xiao Long, Miss Rose."

Summer flopped back onto the bed, cackling madly as Tai doubled over. Her own mouth twitched.

"Welcome to Beacon, students," Qrow said, picking up Tai's pencil jar and holding it like Ozpin's mug. "I certainly hope you've perfected your landing strategies before today, or you'll be in for a rough surprise!"

Tai grinned, an expression that usually preceded a pun that would make Summer particularly mad. "Prepare to fly."

Raven shook her head with a smile. "Bad."

"Yeah, that was terrible," Summer said, smacking his arm.

[This is my favorite chapter, ngl]

Next Chapter: Taiyang—Splitting Scares

[megalony]

A big family- Part 7

This is the latest part in my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope you are all enjoying so far.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms

Series taglist: @writeroutoftime @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @hardzzellos

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have three daughters together with their youngest not even being one year old yet. But their family is about to get bigger when they find out they’re pregnant again.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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"Is this what you want?" (Y/n) spoke gently as she held out the small bunny toy that was sewn onto a small blanket. As soon as she shook the toy in her hand, Goldie's eyes brightened up as if they had stars captured in them.

The youngest girl wasn't quite walking yet but she was doing her best to try. She managed to push herself up onto her feet but very quickly flopped back down to her knees again. She didn't seem to want to waste any time as she didn't bother trying to walk again, she simply crawled over to where (Y/n) was and tugged on the toy until it was in her hand.

Goldie shuffled until she was sitting on the kitchen floor with her small legs stretched out in front of her and her toy cradled to her chest. Her big bright eyes looked up at (Y/n) as she started to chew on the toy before realising that it wasn't helping with her new teeth that were beginning to poke through her gums. (Y/n) had only just got Goldie to stop wailing from the pain but now the toy seemed to have irritated her sore gums again.

(Y/n) couldn't give her any more medicine and she had tried giving her a cold teething ring but Goldie had thrown it away.

"No, no baby don't cry, please." (Y/n) begged when Goldie started to whine around the toy she was trying to stuff into her mouth. Her eyes began to flood with tears as she tipped her head down, sniffing before a loud sob escaped her lips.

Pressing her hand to the counter, (Y/n) slowly kneeled down on the floor in front of Goldie. She gently moved the toy so she could check Goldie's gums before she shuffled the toddler close and wrapped her arms around her. (Y/n) was still on bed rest but she had to come downstairs because her back was simply hurting from the lack of movement. But it also meant she couldn't keep picking Goldie up and setting her down because lifting or holding Goldie or anything heavy could make the abruption worse.

Days like today weren't as easy as (Y/n) would like.

All she wanted to do was to be able to move and do everything she could before but her actions were limited. She could get out of bed and go to the bathroom or have a walk around the house so she didn't go stiff but there was little else she could do. The nurse wanted her to be as immobile as she could and (Y/n) didn't want to but she was complying because she had to.

It hurt (Y/n) worse that she couldn't pick Goldie up or see to her when she woke up during the night. She could only hold and cuddle Goldie like this or when she was in bed.

(Y/n) kept one arm around Goldie who was tucked into her side as she reached out and grabbed hold of the wash basket with her other hand and dragged it over to her. She leaned herself up against the island in the kitchen before starting to take the clothes out of the dryer, folding them before setting them into the washing basket. This was at least something that (Y/n) could do that wasn't strenuous or heavy lifting.

After a while, (Y/n) turned to look at Goldie before she gently slipped her hands under Goldie's arms to tug the youngest girl to her feet. She wasn't technically lifting Goldie up, she was just holding her. Tears were still building up in Goldie's eyes as she chewed on her toy which (Y/n) knew was going to aggravate her gums rather than relieve the pain from them but Goldie wasn't going to give up the toy now.

She gently pulled Goldie closer before letting her youngest girl sit on her leg and cuddle as close as she could manage with the baby bump in the way. (Y/n) wrapped her arms around the toddler as she tried to stop herself from crying as well.

It was getting frustrating to be able to do very little like this and her lower back was hurting to the point it was simply reducing (Y/n) to the same amount of tears as it was for Goldie.

(Y/n) lifted her head when she heard the front door opening meaning that Ben was back with the girls. He had finished all the scenes and extra shots for his latest movie now so he didn't have any more projects to work on at the moment. He still had a few promotional pictures and events and videos to do but they were just for a few hours here and there meaning he was mostly at home now so they didn't have to keep relying on family to help them out.

Ben and (Y/n) both agreed that they weren't going to ask her mother to help them out and Ben didn't want her sister, Andrea, to help either because he didn't get along with her. So it was mainly Ben's family and their friends they had asked to help. But now they could try and be a bit more independent again.

"Mummy!" Charlie clearly sounded surprised when she rushed into the kitchen and found her mum and Goldie sitting on the floor but she was happy nonetheless. She opened her arms and cuddled into (Y/n)'s other side as Taylor ran into the kitchen and placed her backpack down on the kitchen table.

"Hey girlies, you both had a good day?"

"Tired." Charlie mumbled before Taylor responded with how she had made a few pictures that were still at school. Walking into the kitchen, Ben rose his brows when he noticed (Y/n) was sitting on the floor but he didn't say anything. "Tay, you gonna go get changed?" Ben questioned as he leaned against the counter, grabbing a pack of biscuits for Charlie who he knew was going to ask for something in a minute. She was usually hungry when she came back from daycare.

Taylor nodded her head, moving to wrap her arms around (Y/n) who was receiving hugs from all three girls before Taylor drifted off to go and change out of her school clothes. Ben gently threw the pack of biscuits to Charlie who caught them instantly before she trotted off into the living room. Ben turned his attention back to the other two girls still in the kitchen with him, his lips curving down at the small murmurs and wails leaving Goldie's lips as her teeth must still be giving her some trouble.

"How do you feel?"

"Like my back is going to snap. Can you help me up?" (Y/n) spoke quietly as she held her hands out towards Ben after shifting Goldie so she was sitting on the floor instead of her lap. Ben leaned down in front of her, holding onto her arm and her waist to try and ease her to her feet as she gripped his arms.

Ben didn't miss the way that (Y/n) grimaced when she straightened up and the weight was placed back onto her spine again. (Y/n) was glad the pain in her stomach she had felt before had gone but the pain in her back was so much worse. It was as if someone was slowly squeezing on her spine and sometimes it went away when she sat down, other times it just stayed. Moving didn't help the pain but it did help the rest of her from turning to stone.

"Why don't you go back to bed?" Ben questioned lightly as he moved his arms so they were wrapped around her waist.

"I've been in bed for the last month and all this morning, I need to do something." (Y/n) rested her head on Ben's shoulder, trying to keep her tone calm but it wasn't working very well.

For the last month, she had done very little and it wasn't a nice feeling, (Y/n) didn't like relying on others to do things she should be fine doing. She didn't like seeing Ben's mother doing the washing or making dinner or changing Goldie and playing with her when that was what (Y/n) wanted to do. She didn't like just sitting around and doing nothing or not being able to get up and see to Goldie or Charlie during the night.

Bed rest wasn't what (Y/n) should be doing because she had three other children to look after and Ben couldn't do it all on his own. Relying on other people made (Y/n) feel anxious and useless, it made her irritated and restless with a need to get out of bed and be productive in any way she could.

"And for the last month you've been fine. In just about two months we'll have our next girl and you can do whatever you like, when you like. You just have to take it easy now so you'll both be okay." Ben knew it was annoying and upsetting but during this past month, (Y/n) had gotten better. She wasn't having any pain or cramps or bleeding and the baby was fine meaning that bed rest must be helping even a little bit.

When their next daughter was born then (Y/n) would be better because there would be no more abruption or bleeding or risk to the baby. She wouldn't have to be on bed rest and when she felt back to normal she could do whatever she wanted. She could run around the house and tend to their new baby and Goldie and they could both switch between caring for the girls. She wouldn't feel this way but to get to that point, (Y/n) had to take things easy.

"I'm gonna start dinner." (Y/n) mumbled against his shoulder before she slowly pulled away. Attempting to move over to the fridge near the back door, but Ben kept his arms around her waist to stop her from moving.

"You just said your back hurts, rushing about to make dinner won't help. Go to bed." Ben pleaded with his eyes but he felt his heart tightening in his chest when tears fell from (Y/n)'s eyes. Her back was causing her pain but laying down didn't always take the edge off. She just wanted to feel useful and do something.

"Going to bed won't make the pain go away and doing dinner won't make it worse." (Y/n) pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away and going to the fridge, trying to decide what to make for tea.

Ben sighed before he leaned down to scoop Goldie up who was sat whimpering around the toy she was chewing on. He cradled the toddler against his chest as she rested her head on his shoulder giving him the impression she was tired. He would go and settle her down for her nap in a while. He grabbed the half-finished bottle from the counter and pressed it to Goldie's lips to prompt her to have a drink. Watching as she moved the toy and locked it in the crook of her elbow before tiredly drinking the milk Ben was holding out for her.

"Still being stubborn." Ben mused quietly, his eyes asking (Y/n) to prove him wrong when she glared at him.

"Don't start Ben. If this was you we both know you wouldn't even try and go on bed rest." Ben wasn't the kind of person who would do well on bed rest, he was the kind who most likely wouldn't even try. He was active, he did stunts at work, he went to the gym every week and he was very involved with raising the girls. He wouldn't want to be stuck in bed.

He had been on bed rest once in his life when he damaged his back in university and that was the one and only time he had managed to do very little for a few weeks.

"I'm not saying that though, am I? I'm not the one who's pregnant and I'm not the one who decided bed rest just meant when and if I want to."

Ben wasn't disagreeing with her point because he knew at this point in his life, if the doctor told him to go on bed rest he wouldn't or he would only calm his life down a little. But Ben wasn't the one who was on bed rest right now and he wasn't on bed rest because he was pregnant. He had seen (Y/n) this last month, he knew that even though she had tried to stay in bed and do very little, she still got up and moved around.

(Y/n) still did washing and made the beds and tried to do the cooking until Ben or someone else took over. She was still doing a lot of things as if she was fine, she was deciding when and if she wanted to stay in bed and that wasn't what the doctor had told her to do.

"I'm hardly doing anything-"

"Hardly? Baby, me and mum have to physically take over whatever you're doing to make you stop and go to bed. If this was just about your back then I would totally agree with you and say you're fine to do things here and there, but this is about the baby." Ben had walked around the house lately and had to pick Goldie up before (Y/n) did because Goldie was growing so she was getting heavy. He took over making dinner a few times so (Y/n) would simply rest and sit down or go to bed.

Ben didn't want to be controlling or rude or harsh but (Y/n) wasn't just getting up and doing a few little things. She was trying to do things when she was bored and she was getting more and more active now rather than staying on bed rest. Ben walked over to where (Y/n) was, gently brushing away some of the tears streaking down her features.

"You know what the doctor said, the placenta was here," Ben commented as he pressed his palm gently against her stomach. "And now it's here." He moved his hand a little lower down to try and get her to see this how he did. "That's all it took for our girl to become unstable and for the bleeding to happen. You may feel better but the placenta is still there and if it moves again that's it, she gets born now. But if you just relax for the next two months, we'll all be fine."

The placenta hadn't moved very much but the small amount it did move had caused bleeding and made their baby become unstable for a few hours. That wasn't fixed even if (Y/n) did feel and look better and if she overworked herself the placenta was simply going to fall further. If it moved again and caused a bigger bleed their girl was either going to be born premature or they would have to do a C-section because this was a dangerous condition.

Bed rest meant that the placenta wouldn't move and (Y/n) would feel okay and be better. It meant her body could stabilise again and their girl would be fine and be full term rather than premature.

"I just don't like doing nothing, we've still got three other girls to look after, Ben." (Y/n) buried her face in his chest as he kept Goldie stable in one arm so he could wrap his other arm around her waist. He pressed his lips to the top of her head as he knew what she was saying.

"Yeah, we, not just you, baby. Let me make sure they're okay and you focus on making sure our next girl is okay. You're protecting and looking after our baby, that's not doing nothing in my eyes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) slowly carded her fingers through Ben's curls rather methodically as her eyes kept drifting between the tv and Ben. She couldn't quite hear what he was quietly whispering but it didn't matter since he wasn't technically talking to her. A shiver ran down her spine when she felt his lips pressing to her stomach, causing tingles to run under the surface of her skin.

He was laid on his side with his head resting next to her stomach, something he had always seemed to do with each pregnancy. (Y/n) liked it because it was clear he was trying to talk or bond with the baby and it showed just how much he loved them but sometimes (Y/n) wondered what he said. It felt as if he was whispering bribes or magic because all of their girls were attached to his hip. All the girls had Ben wrapped around their fingers, especially Charlie, she was a proper daddy's girl.

"Hey baby." (Y/n) mumbled tiredly when she saw Charlie quietly trotting into the room as if she was trying not to be noticed since she knew it was past her bedtime.

Ben turned his head to the side, gently pressing his cheek to (Y/n)'s stomach as he watched Charlie pull herself up onto the end of the bed before she crawled up to the middle of the bed. She sat back on her legs, her head leaning to the side as she clearly wondered what Ben was doing.

"Why're you up past your bedtime?" Ben questioned, his tone showing her that he wasn't angry or annoyed since it wasn't too late into the night.

"I want to stay with you... what you doing, daddy?" Charlie's eyes drifted between both parents in a silent request to stay with them for the night, a request she already knew they wouldn't deny. Charlie wasn't normally one to sleep with them very often. If she was ill or simply wanted the company she was, but she tended to fall asleep with them and then be fine in her own bed.

"You can stay with us tonight." (Y/n) responded with a smile which seemed to lift a weight off of Charlie's chest.

"I'm talking to your sister, baby." Charlie had asked Ben before if the baby could hear him when she noticed him talking to (Y/n)'s stomach but it still seemed to confuse or amaze her when he did. Ben didn't know himself if the baby could hear him but it didn't stop him, it was just something he liked to do and if there was a chance the baby could hear him or it could make a bond or just do something, he would take it.

Ben kept his arm loosely wrapped around (Y/n)'s waist as his eyes watched Charlie for her reaction when he kissed (Y/n)'s stomach. He knew Charlie got a little upset or jealous if she thought Ben was spending too much time with Taylor or Goldie, she usually clung to him until he paid her attention too.

(Y/n) couldn't help but laugh when Charlie frowned before crawling further up the bed and burrowing herself under Ben's arm until she was laying against his chest between him and (Y/n).

Ben slipped his arms under Charlie's before he suddenly rolled onto his back, pulling her so she was laying on his chest and stomach instead. He smiled at her sudden fit of giggles that was music to his ears as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her chin pressed into his chest as she looked up at him with a cheeky grin that (Y/n) was sure she got from Ben.

"When's she gonna be here?" Charlie questioned when her giggles died down, her eyes flitting over to look at (Y/n) before she looked back at Ben. Charlie was still young so she didn't understand why Ben or (Y/n) couldn't give her a specific date for when her next sister would be born. She still didn't understand why her sister was in (Y/n)'s tummy but she hadn't gotten a good answer when she asked last time so she stopped asking and just accepted that it was the way things was.

"Ooh, in about two months babygirl." Ben shuffled so he was laid further up to bed so his legs didn't hang over the edge. He leaned up against the pillows as Charlie settled on his chest. He was used to all the girls laying on his chest or stomach so the sudden weight compressing down on him didn't bother him, it was rather comforting.

"She'll miss your birthday- and mine." Charlie's expression fell as she seemed to deflate at the sudden realisation.

Ben's birthday was in one month and Charlie's was a week after his, then Goldie's was two weeks after Charlie's. Charlie loved that her birthday was close to Ben's, it made her feel special and somehow like she was closer to Ben. She had rather been hoping that the baby would be born in time for her fourth birthday.

"She's still technically going to be there, babygirl. And she'll be there for all your other birthdays too. Come on, you need to settle down and go to sleep." Ben pressed his lips to the top of her head as he pulled the cover up so it was resting over her back.

He would rather their next girl be born after Charlie's birthday because then they wouldn't have a newborn and a one-year-old to juggle and look after whilst also seeing to Taylor and of course Charlie since it would be her birthday. Ben didn't mind her not being there for his birthday either, (Y/n) had been pregnant with both Goldie and Charlie on Ben's birthdays and they had been close to their due dates on his birthdays.

It made his day more relaxed because he went out for a drink with his friends either the day before or the day after his birthday and then spent his birthday with his family. If their next girl was born after Charlie's birthday then it would mean they would be almost full term and so she wouldn't be born premature.

That was what Ben was hoping for.

[sufferthesea]

Fortune (Qrow Branwen)

Summary: Qrow, Tai, and the girls go out to eat to celebrate Tai’s birthday. They each get a fortune cookie.  Word Count: 1,857 Characters: Qrow Branwen, Taiyang Xiao Long, Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose Warnings: None Rating: General / No Ship Originally Posted: RWBY Amino (username: MutualOzpining), AO3 (username: akimikono) 

Qrow did not want to go out on such a night, but he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Between his nieces hounding him nonstop to train or play video games, and Ozpin sending him on missions one right after another, there was very little time to himself. He would rather not spend that precious free time in the presence of people he couldn’t hide from. But it was Taiyang’s birthday and — despite not having much love for birthday celebrations — both men had been convinced (or rather, coerced) into taking Ruby and Yang out to a restaurant to mark another year on Remnant. So after a mere fifteen minutes to get home and clean up, he headed out the door to meet up with the rest of his family. 

The restaurant was dimly lit with black and red lacquer screens blocking off the hostess stand from the booths. The screens were decorated in flaking gold images of wheat fields and cranes. There were more people than expected, considering it was a weeknight and there were many other (much better) restaurants in town. There were better restaurants right across the street. Still, Ruby and Yang insisted on this particular restaurant for some reason. 

It smelled like smoke and animal fat, and there was a distinct aroma like burnt oil hanging on the air that permeated the vinyl seats. The hostess, a kind but otherwise unremarkable woman in a black and red dress matching the paper screens, led them to their booth near the back of the dining room. She passed out menus that were almost as large as Ruby herself. 

“Would you like to hear the specials?” she asked, voice chipper but the bags under her eyes told Qrow that she was exhausted. 

“No thanks,” Qrow said, speaking for everyone. He had caught a glimpse of the sandwich board standing in front of the hostess stand that had the day’s specials scrawled across it. 

Leek and Salmon Soup. Liver and Noodles. Bok Choy Salad (sold out). 

He thought he would spare the waitress having to exert any more energy than she needed to. 

“What can I get you to drink?” 

Ruby cleared her throat, folded her hands onto the table and stared at the waitress grimly. “Do you have chocolate milk?” 

“We do, but it only comes in small glasses. It’s part of the children’s menu.” 

Ruby nodded solemnly, “Make it two chocolate milks, then.” 

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” Yang said, smiling brightly. 

“Are you sure, Yang?” Tai asked as he thumbed through the menu to the drink selection. “You don’t have to just get water.” 

“Yeah, Yang!” Ruby cut in, “Water is boring. We can make it three chocolate milks.” 

“I’m training for the Vytal Festival, Ruby. I’m not going to have any extra sugar before then.” 

“Why? Do you think you’re fat? You aren’t fat! Dad, tell Yang she isn’t fat!” 

“You aren’t fat, Yang —” 

“I never said I was! But I’m not fourteen anymore! I can’t eat as much sugar as Ruby! I need to be focused and —” 

“Chocolate milk helps me focus!” 

Qrow sighed, placing his chin in his hand and looked to the waitress. She seemed confused, startled even. She caught his eye and he decided it was now or never if he was going to order. 

“I’ll take whatever’s cheapest on your liquor shelf.” 

“Uh … okay.” She scribbled it down on her notepad. 

“Thanks, hon,” he said, giving her a small wink. 

Her face flushed redder than her apron and she stuttered out a question, asking Tai for his drink. 

“Ruby, please — just let your sister order what she wants. Yang, no one is calling you fat. Please, just — you know what? I’ll take whatever Qrow is having!” Tai motioned wildly toward the man sitting across from him. “I think I could use it!” 

Without waiting for another word, the waitress hurried off through the swinging doors into the back of the restaurant. 

Qrow rested his head heavier into his palm and tapped the tabletop with his fingertips. He grimaced the moment he realized his fingers were having a hard time bouncing back from the wood. It was coated in something sticky and something that he did not want to be touching. 

“Nice place they got here,” he muttered, sitting up and hearing the fabric over his elbow tearing away from the stickiness on the table.

The other three settled down enough to gloss over the menu. Ruby had naturally shuffled to the kid’s menu where at least the food sounded edible. Yang was trying to decide what food would benefit her most in the training session that would soon follow after dinner. Tai was staring at the prices listed down the right side of the menu, his eyes widening. For such a dirty restaurant, they sure charged an arm and a leg. 

Tai must have spotted something absurdly expensive because he immediately snatched the menus out of everyone’s hand and quickly said, “We’re all just going to share an appetizer and we can eat real food at home.” 

“Dad!” Ruby cried, “It’s your birthday! We’re supposed to have a special dinner!” 

“Sharing egg rolls is special,” Tai said as the waitress arrived with their drinks. After she distributed the drinks, he handed over the menus. “Which is exactly what we’re going to do. The egg roll appetizer, please. And then that will be it.” 

“Perfect!” the waitress said and this time she seemed to genuinely smile. She disappeared to the back again. 

“Dad, that’s not fair,” Ruby gasped as she stuck a straw into the first chocolate milk and slurped it down. “We’ve been waiting all year for your birthday dinner. We’re supposed to treat you!” 

“Treat me? Aren’t I paying for this?” 

“That’s part of the specialness,” Ruby insisted. 

“Yeah, Dad. It’s an honor to be the adult in this group.” 

“Nice try, Yang.” 

“What? Somebody has to be the adult, and it’s certainly not Ruby or Qrow.” 

“Hey, kid,” Qrow muttered, picking up his glass and swirling it around. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but only adults can drink whiskey. And what’s in my glass? That’s right. So that makes me an adult.” 

“I’m pretty sure your glass is full of future bad decisions,” Ruby piped up, already halfway through her second glass. 

Qrow huffed something like a curse under his breath and finished his glass. Soon the food arrived and the three egg rolls were meticulously split into four equal portions. It was quickly devoured and Tai even had the momentary thought to order something else when Ruby said she might pass out from hunger until he remembered the prices and decided against it. 

“Can we at least get a dessert?” Ruby exhaled, throwing her head back against the booth once she finished her final chocolate milk. “I think I’m gonna starve before we get home.” 

Yang nodded as she rattled the ice in her empty cup. “I agree.” 

“We’ll stop for something cheaper on the way home,” Tai said, throwing a few lien on the table. “Let’s get going.” 

They shuffled out of the booths and headed to the door. 

“Thank you,” Tai said, waving a hand in passing to the waitress. “Payment and tip are on the table.” 

“Oh, did you want a receipt?” 

“That’s fine, I don’t need it.” 

“How about your fortune cookies?” 

“Yes, please!” Ruby and Yang chimed in together. 

The waitress dug through her apron pocket and pulled out a few cookies. She handed one to Ruby, Yang, and Tai.

“How about you?” she asked Qrow. He grunted and she pulled out another one and put it in his hand, returning his wink from earlier. 

“What does yours say?” Yang asked her dad and she broke open her own cookie and stuffed it into her mouth, flattening the paper. 

“A friendly gathering is in your future,” Tai read from his paper. “Huh, I guess it means this friendly gathering!” He threw his arms around his daughters and squeezed their shoulders. 

Ruby chewed on her cookie loudly and read hers. “A business deal will succeed and you’ll be recognized for your hard work. Yang! Do you think this is referring to the Vytal Festival! Do you think I’ll win?!” 

“It’s not really a business deal, but maybe it has something to do with a mission we’ll be sent on! Those are business deals, right? Huh, mine says, Be careful of the company you keep. Not everyone is your friend. That’s ominous. Why did I get this and you both got really nice ones?” 

“It’s probably talking about Weiss,” Ruby said under her breath, then broke out into giggles. “Oh! Please don’t tell her I said that!” 

“I’m definitely telling her.” 

“Yang! No!” 

Qrow rolled his own cookie into his palm for a moment before breaking it open and pulled out the small paper. He smoothed it down and read it over silently. “Hm,” he grumbled, folding it and sticking it into his pocket. 

“Uncle Qrow?” Ruby called. 

“What?” 

“Can I have your cookie?” Her eyes focused on the food in his hands. 

“Oh, sure.” He handed the two halves to Ruby. 

“What’d your fortune say?” Yang asked. 

“I don’t remember,” Qrow said, heading out the front door. “You guys don’t really believe in that stuff, do you?” 

“Only when it’s something good!” Yang grinned at him. 

“Tai,” Qrow said as he ambled down the road, hands in his pocket, “why don’t you take Ruby and Yang to get something else to eat? I think I’m going to head home.” 

“But —!” Ruby cried, hanging onto Qrow’s arm. “It’s Dad’s birthday! You have to be with us!” 

“I was with you, kid. But it’s getting late and I have some business to take care of.” 

“Hey, sounds like you needed Ruby’s fortune instead,” said Yang. 

“Yeah, I still don’t know what business deal they mean. I can’t really see myself as a businesswoman.” 

The girls chattered amongst themselves while Qrow and Tai loitered behind. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” 

“Yeah, it’s just that Oz has me doing a lot of things. I’ve got to get back and work. I’m already pretty far behind.” 

“We can just get something quick for you to eat.” 

“That’s fine, I’m not really that hungry.” 

“Well, thanks for coming out anyway.” 

“Yeah. Happy birthday.” Qrow ambled down the sidewalk past the girls and nodded at them. “I’ll see you girls around later.” 

Yang and Ruby clung to Qrow’s arms again, releasing him only at their dad’s request. They waved goodbye as Qrow disappeared down the street. 

An hour later, Qrow was sitting in his apartment, another glass of whiskey in his hand. He stared blankly at the wall for a while before he reached into his pocket and pulled out the paper that he’d hidden there. He unfolded it between his index finger and thumb, and read it over. A small smile spread across his face. 

A happy ending is in your future. 

He hummed, finished the drink and set the empty glass on the table next to him. “Yeah. We’ll see.” 

[blackpantherismyish]

Teacher’s Pet

Chapter 1

Paring: Greek!Erik “Killmoger” Stevens x Chiron “Black” Harris

Word Count: almost 1.3K

Warning(s): None

A/N: I have been on a writing drought for Idk how long to be honest. But I finally got some shit done.. This is that. This is loosely based off of a story by the same name that i wrote YEARS ago (Don’t go look for it, it’s alotta cringe in that shit. But enjoy

Shoutout to @goddessofthundathighs cause without her, I woulda sounded reeeal stoopid.

...

Chiron put the last of the grocery bags on the floor. He had transferred to a new university in the middle of his fall semester meaning he had to restock all of his favorite goodies.  

“Fuck,” he huffed as he dropped the bag of canned goods on the floor with the rest of his haul. 

Using the leftover money he had from his tuition check, he moved into a small two-bedroom apartment a short distance from campus, which he shared with his roommate Taylor. The two had met at an off-campus frat party at his previous school last fall. They immediately clicked in a drunken stupor and had been inseparable ever since. Like brothers almost. 

“Yo Chi!” Taylor yelled from his room, his voice followed by the faint sound of rapid shooting.

Call of Duty, Chiron thought to himself as he walked around the island and towards the bedroom. 

“Wassuh Tay?” he called, stepping towards cracked door where the shooting had gotten so loud that explosions could now be heard. 

“Did you get more Hot Pockets?” Taylor sat shirtless in his gaming chair with his ΚΑΨ branded shorts and a PS4 controller in his hand. 

“Yes. Steak and cheddar cause yo fat ass ate the last box in 4 days.” Chiron rolled his eyes and folded his arms as he watched Taylor lean on his knees and squint his eyes to focus on the game. 

“Man… You still on that?” Taylor groaned as his fingers danced over the controller.

“Uh...Nigga YES! That was a 24 pack of Hot Pockets. Do you know how many Hot Pockets you’d have to eat in a day for that to even be possible?” Chiron stood off the doorframe and walked further into the room. 

“Si-,” Taylor started.

“6 gahdamn Hot Pockets nigga!” Chiron clapped to emphasize each word.

“Man I was lazy and I ain’t feel like cookin’.” Tay shook his head and scooted closer to the flatscreen TV. 

“Keep playin’. Yo belly gon be so big you won’t be able to shimmy right.” Chiron turned and made his way out of the room and walked back to the kitchen. He opted to put the groceries away himself since someone was preoccupied. It worked in his favor, giving him the advantage of knowing where everything was.

"You just hatin' cause I get all the hoes!" Taylor yelled from his room. 

"Nah I'm good. I'm allergic to fish" Chiron yelled back.

…

It was now a few weeks into the spring semester and Chiron was finally getting into the flow of his new college home. He woke early, not wanting to be late for his first class of the day: General Psychology. Footsteps and elevator dings invaded his senses as students began filing into the classroom filling it to capacity. Chiron chose a middle seat, not too close to the front and not to far back that he’d have to squint to see. He pulled out the notebook that he’d designated for this class and flipped through the first few pages. When he looked up again, his eyes fell on a man that he hadn’t noticed before. The man wore a black fitted t-shirt that hugged his body like a fat kid hugs the ice cream man when they get extra sprinkles. The veins that ran down his arms looked like an IV technician’s dream and gold rimmed glasses framed his face while two thick Cuban link chains rested on his neck. As Chiron’s gaze traveled lower, he praised the Lord above for the invention of fitted slacks because they were hugging the hips of this Adonis in all the right places. As his gaze made his way back up, Chiron’s eyes landed on a set of lips that looked like they could swallow him whole, not that he was complaining. As the mystery man talked with the professor, hints of gold reflected off of his teeth. Chiron leaned forward to get a better look at the beautiful mystery.

“Who are you and can I have your number, cause gahdamn you fine,” Chiron whispered to himself. Just as his lust was beginning to get the best of him, Chiron was snapped out of his appreciation by the voice of the young white male at the front of the class.

“Good morning class, I am Professor Wayne and I’ll be your instructor this semester. And this,” he gestures to the Adonis to his right, “is my graduate assistant, Erik Stevens.”

Erik can assist me in taking off his pants.. Chiron thought to himself as he chewed the tip of his pen. His focus on whatever Professor Wayne was babbling about was long gone as more and more lewd thoughts of Erik crossed his mind. Erik stepped in front of Professor Wayne, licking his lips slowly before addressing the class.

“Wassuh y’all. Welcome back to school.” He paused briefly before continuing. “As you heard Mr. W say, I’m the graduate assistant. Some days I’ll be teaching and helping with any questions you may have during my lessons as well as Mr. Wayne’s.” As his speech came to a close, Erik leaned back against the wooden table, surveying all of the fresh faces in front of him.

“I have some meetings to attend so in my absence, Mr. Stevens will go over the syllabus and answer any first day questions you may have. I look forward to getting to know all of you. Have a great first day.” With that, Mr. Wayne grabbed his black leather bag and headed out the door. 

Erik took off the gold rimmed glasses and sat them on the table next to him and grabbed a clipboard. 

“I’m about to go through roll. Just raise your hand and say ‘here’. Pretty simple procedure, right?” Erik looked around for confirmation. He got head nods and soft mummers in agreement as he scanned the classroom. Chiron had since went back to flipping through his notebook, highlighting things that he would need for the class.

“Chiron Harris?” His voice sounded like the smoothest bourbon you could possibly get your hands on.

“Here,” Chiron spoke, lifting his head and hand simultaneously. Erik gave him a sly smirk before calling the remaining names on the list. Chiron smiled to himself before busying himself with his notebook once more. This was definitely going to be an interesting semester.

…

As he made his way down the hall after his classes, Chiron could hear commotion coming from his apartment. Several voices mixed as Chi unlocked the door and stepped inside. Taylor sat on the couch with his line brothers. The one on the left, Nico, wore a crimson colored dad hat that read Pretty Komplicated in cream letters while the one on the right, Xavier, wore a black basketball jersey that read Kryptonite across the back of it in red letters.

“I’m about to start charging you niggas rent,” Chi called from the doorway as he put his lanyard on the key holder.

“Maaan, I’ma need a room if I pay rent,” Nico called over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving the TV screen. Chiron grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before walking back to the unoccupied loveseat. 

“Woooow,” Xavier spoke from the far end of the couch. “He did you dirty, dawg,” he snickered as he leaned on his knees, fully immersed in the video game.

“What?” Chiron shrugged as Nico pulled his attention from the tv and blinked in confusion.

“You said a room,” he reminded.

“The box that I’m referring to has enough room for you inside. It’s a pretty big box.” Nico groaned and turned back to the tv, causing Chiron to chuckle to himself.

“Listen, I already live with one of you niggas. I don’t need anymore.”

...

Taglist: @goddessofthundathighs @princessstevens @maya-leche @panthergoddessbast @chaneajoyyy @hearteyes-for-killmonger @purple-apricots @thehomierobbstark @amethyst1993 @iamrheaspeaks @blktinkerbell @theogbadbitch

Let me know if you wanna be tagged. 

[artisticallyenhanced]

When you get hit by that Mega Inspiration™ by listening to a song that hits your character just right you play it on loop for 24 hours and get to drawing

[cxptainsparklez]

//I would say I can’t believe Mianite is coming back, but honestly I saw it coming. One way or another, it would return (Which is partly reason why I haven’t trashed this account yet). So excited!!

[jadekitty777]

Hero for the Day

So to celebrate Father’s Day... how about a quick little drabble for my little dragon and bird duo! I just recently finished this one, and it’s one of my absolute favorites too. And it really just seems to fit the spirit of the holiday.

Rating: K

Word Count: 2,100

Ao3 Link: Hero for The Day

Summary: Huntress, the new family dog, has gone missing. Qrow doesn't particularly care - so why is everyone acting like it's all up to him to find her?

~

His first drink was just being placed down when his scroll rang. Qrow sipped the first glorious sip of the high-quality scotch as he eyed the ID. As he answered it, he was fully expecting to hear Tai’s bubbly voice.

When all he got was his blubbering niece instead, he went into high alert. “Ruby? What’s wrong?”

“Uncle Qrow, I can’t find Huntress!” She sniveled out.

Relief swept through him and he rolled his eyes. “Ah, I’m sure she’s around kiddo. She’s too fat to get far.”

They had only gotten the overweight, two-year-old corgi a few weeks ago and she was already trouble – which was exactly what he had warned Tai about. But his partner had insisted, saying it would be a good addition for their family. He even roped his own kids into the excitement, and Qrow was a little weak when it came to being triple-teamed with puppy-dog eyes. So they adopted the over-yeasted loaf of bread and within three days she’d already peed on the rug twice and chewed through his nicest pair of dress shoes.

He could certainly say that if she’d actually run off that he wouldn’t be the least bit upset.

But for an eight-year-old, it was the biggest crisis of her life. “I looked everywhere! She’s not in her bed. Or anywhere in the kitchen! What if she’s stuck somewhere?”

Maybe we need to look for holes in the flooring. Qrow had to take another drink so he wouldn’t laugh. “Well, she’ll come out of hiding if you pour her food.”

“I already tried that! She isn’t anywhere!” Ruby wailed. “Yang said she probably got out when daddy brought in the groceries! You have to come home and help me find her before a Grimm eats her!”

Oh no. No way. He didn’t put up with a week’s worth of teaching classes with the brattiest students in all of Patch to NOT enjoy his Friday drinking night. “A Grimm’s not going to eat her Ruby. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”

“You don’t understand, this is a matter of life and death!! You’re a huntsman, you gotta save her!”

He fought the urge to sigh but was spared from having to come up with anything to say when he heard Tai shout in the background, “Ruby, you know you’re not supposed to take my scroll without asking!”

“Tell Uncle Qrow he has to come home soon, okay?!” Her demand grew faint as the device was taken from her.

He must have been covering the speaker, because his voice became muffled. “I will. Now go get into your coat and then we can go looking okay? Yang, help her out will you!” His voice came through a lot clearer as he pulled the phone to his ear. “Sorry Qrow. She’s really devastated.”

“You don’t say.” He said, swirling his glass so the ice would clink together.

“I can see you’re torn up about it too.” He quipped sarcastically.

“Utterly brokenhearted.” Qrow assured.

“In that case, I’m sure you’re just rushing on over here then, aren’t you?” Before he could even open his mouth to argue, Tai was adding, “You know it would mean the world to Ruby if you were here.”

Damn him. He sunk a bit in his chair, grumbling, “That was low man.”

Tai’s only response was a jovial, “See you soon! Love you!” And then the call was ended.

Qrow sighed, quickly downing the rest of his drink and leaving the money on the table. As he headed out of the bar, he was tempted to call up Oz and blame him for not warning him he’d have to worry about puppy patrol duty. Not that his old Headmaster would do anything more than laugh at his misfortune.

He hurried down the alley, taking to the sky, intent on finding the little menace as soon as possible so he could get back to his night.

~

Qrow couldn’t help but wince as the slam of the girls’ bedroom door echoed down from the second floor.

Nothing. Three hours of searching, and there was nothing. He’d even used the skills he’d been taught for hunting deer to try and figure out which way the dog had run, but there were no imprints in any of the soft soil of the forest or the sandy spots around the house. It was as if she’d just disappeared into thin air.

That only left one actual possibility, the one he’d reassured Ruby couldn’t have possibly of happened: that a Grimm, likely a Nevermore, had swooped down and snatched the dog up when she got into the yard. He would say that should have been impossible with such a short timeframe to work with and there having been a Huntsman not even twenty feet away; but with his semblance around, such improbable things suddenly became a lot more likely.

A sniffle drew his attention to the living room where Yang and Tai were.

Tai knelt so he could hug her. “You okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah. Just sad.” Her words where muffled against his chest.

“I know.” He rubbed her back. “But, hey! Let’s not lose hope yet. It is really dark. How about first thing tomorrow morning, we go looking again? We’ll be sure to find her when it’s light out.”

“No.”

“No?” Tai echoed, looking down at her in confusion.

She pulled away from him, rubbing her fists into her eyes. “Things don’t come back when they go away.”

Qrow sucked in a sharp breath, and when his partner looked up at him, expression practically pleading for help, he finally spoke up, “Yang, that’s not true.”

She looked towards him. “Then where’s Huntress?”

“I- well. We’ll find her.” Now it was his turn to plead for help.

“Yeah, we will!” His partner jumped in as he placed a hand on her head. “Who knows, she may even be home in time for breakfast.”

Yang didn’t seem very convinced. “Okay. I’ma go check on Ruby.”

“Alright honey.” Tai stood, watching her scurry up the stairs. Once she was well out of earshot, he ruffled his hair agitatedly. “Fuck.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, snipping as he headed for the kitchen, “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Qrow - come on now.”

He heard the other’s footsteps as he followed him but didn’t bother to slow down. He snatched a beer from the fridge and stepped out onto the porch. The moon above was bright, illuminating the yard and the faint chirping of crickets echoed from the surrounding forest. He lent up against the railing, twisting off the cap of the bottle and chugging half of it. Tai shut the door behind them, coming to stand beside him. He expected him to say something – reassure him with that boundless optimism he always tried to carry – but he stayed oddly silent. Somehow, that was even more annoying.

Qrow slammed the bottle down, grunting, “Why’d you even have me come back, huh? What good did that do?”

Tai folded his arms over the railing, glancing sideways at him. “You know, you are so stupid sometimes.”

“Uh, what?”

His ire didn’t even seem to make Tai twitch. “Why do you think the first person Ruby thought to call when she was having a problem was you?”

 “Uh, I don’t know?” He shrugged. “‘Cause more of us looking means more chances to find her?”

He snorted. “That’s some impressive logic for an eight-year-old. But no.” He turned to face him, leaning his hip against the rail. “It’s because you’re her hero Qrow.”

Qrow felt like someone had just jabbed a crystal of lightning dust right into his back. “I am?”

“Yeah. To her, there’s nothing you can’t do.” He laughed, looking up at the sky. “I even heard her tell Yang once that she knew you could put back together the moon if you weren’t so busy saving everyone else.”

He followed his gaze, smiling faintly. Her hero, huh? He remembered having one of those when he was her age. How he’d ask every adult in the tribe for just one more story about the Grimm Reaper or how his mother had used the last of their spare fabric one winter to sew him a cape. He knew it wasn’t quite the same as the cloak she was said to wear, but it had been big enough to pretend with when he was smaller.

His smile weakened, then fell.

He also remembered when those stories stopped. How his father finally told him the hero he thought was undefeatable had been killed. It had flipped his worldview upside down, showing him the unkindness lurking just outside their wooden walls.

He picked up his bottle. “Yeah well, eventually she’s going to figure out that stuff ain’t true.”

His partner laughed softly. “Of course she will. That’s all part of growing up.” He shoved his shoulder slightly. “But kids need someone to look up to; someone to strive to be like. You certainly wouldn’t be the same without your hero, right?”

Qrow rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess so. But I’m not exactly a role model.”

“Only in some ways you’re not.” Tai gave a pointed look at the beer before focusing back on him. “But right now, Ruby can only see all the good things about you. So, instead of being a Pessimistic Perry about it, try and hold onto that for as long as you can, and appreciate it while it’s there.” He turned away, expression unusually somber, “After all, it doesn’t last forever. And once it’s gone, it never really comes back.”

He rolled the bottle around on the rim of its bottom end, feeling like he was missing something as he tried to decipher that look. “Do-” He had just started to ask, when a soft crying had him changing tracks, “Do you hear that?”

Tai lifted his head some, both of them staying very quiet.

And there it was again – an insistent and high-pitched whining coming from below them.

They shared a wide-eyed look before leaping over the railing. As they crouched down to look through the latticework that was supposed to close off the underside of the porch, Qrow took out his scroll and flipped on the flashlight. It took a moment of searching, but eventually he spotted movement and paused the beam on it.

“Oh my gods!” Tai breathed, his smile near manic as it spread across his lips.

Sure enough, Huntress was there, tucked away against the wall where the foundation of the house met the ground. And she wasn’t alone – four little bundles were curled up by her belly, squirming occasionally. They were the ones making all the racket.

“Guess she wasn’t fat after all.” Qrow snorted. Just their luck they’d get a pregnant dog.

Tai felt along the wood, probably debating where to break through it. “I wonder how she even got under there? Do you think we’ve got a hole somewhere?”

Or she made one. He thought with a snicker, trying to get a better look at the pups. They were mostly just blobs of color – three brown and one black. “Maybe we should just pull up the floorboards?”

“Yeah, that might be smarter. I’ll go get the tools.” The blond bounced to his feet, his liveliness renewed. He jabbed him lightly in the arm when he stood up next to him. “As for you, I think there’s a little girl upstairs waiting for her hero to come save the day.”

“Ah, come on.” He shoved him back, though dutifully climbed up the porch steps, convincing himself he was only doing it to stop all the rampant waterworks. He paused before going inside, chuckling secretively when he caught the excited little hop Tai performed as he sprinted for the shed. It was hard to tell if he was so happy because they had actually found the dog or because they now had four puppies they were stuck with raising.

Ah, who was he kidding. It was absolutely the puppies.

Qrow crossed through the house, scaling the stairs to the second floor until he was standing in front of the girls’ bedroom, hearing their faint whispering. Just as he was about to knock, Tai’s question pushed its way through his head again.

Why had Ruby chosen to call him when her dad was right there?

The more he thought it over, and coupled it with Yang’s practical, almost too grown-up reasoning, the more the picture became clear and his partner’s somber expression began making more sense.

At least he knew how to make it go away, even if only for one night.

Qrow pulled open the door. “Ruby, Yang! Get out here. You won’t believe who your dad just found!”

-

A/N: This one was Prompt 57: “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

[artisticalfiction]

*cries cause I started back up at work and haven’t had much time to write*