#Tarkin humor

[i-luff-wilhuff]

3 Porgs and Why Tarkin’s Slippers are Valid.

Our most recent podcast Episode 2: 3 Porgs and Why Tarkin’s Slippers are Valid! SHOULD have been about the Original Trilogy as a whole, but I’d say about 85% of it is Tarkin and Thrawn talk (with a dash of Krennic). Hope you enjoy!

Find the podcast and our social media here: https://linktr.ee/3porgsandapodcast

[madame-helen]

[creepyolddude1973]

[pianopadawan]

I just had this image pop into my mind. What if during that Imperial Joint Chiefs meeting on the first Death Star in Episode IV. Motti is pretending to be on his datapad for work reasons but has just been texting Jerjerrod trash talking Vader the entire time. Being the evil space wizard that he is, Vader is very aware of this and probably complained to Tarkin before but Tarkin has better things to do than monitoring people’s datapad use. (Also, he’s not really sure what’s going on between Jerjerrod and Motti but he has a vague idea and decides that’s a holovid romantic drama he doesn’t want to get involved in.)

So, Motti is just whining to Jerjerrod intermittently in the meeting:

Motti: He’s undermining the Death Star again… 😒

Jerjerrod: Just nod along. The station’s finished already, isn’t it? It isn’t as if there’s anything he can do about that.

Motti: What’s even the point of having him in these meetings

Motti: He doesn’t do anything except complain

Jerjerrod: Please try to be civil about it. This is Lord Vader. There isn’t anything you can do about it, unless you’re the Grand Moff or the Emperor himself. Now, I’m really busy right now.

Motti: He’s going off about that Force religion of his again…

Motti: I’m gonna tell him to stop.

Jerjerrod: DO NOT tell him to stop.

Motti: I’m gonna tell him and people are gonna thank me for it

Jerjerrod: No. He could actually KILL you.

Jerjerrod: Motti?

Jerjerrod: Are you there?

Jerjerrod: If you see this please respond. Don’t scare me like this.

Motti: I’m back. Sorry for the delay. Got strangled but I’m ok

Jerjerrod: Oh stars. You insulted his religion, didn’t you?

Motti: It was a fair comment and I regret nothing.

Motti: I’m gonna file an incident report against him 😈

Jerjerrod: NO!

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Hey piett, with tarkin now on the app, what are your thoughts on him?

-Loyal follower

Ah, I am afraid I don't know what you mean by "on the app". Are you referring to the app on which I run my spectral media account or another? Apologies. I haven't been very in touch with the current jargon since I died.

My thoughts on Grand Moff Tarkin in general have always been a mixture of fear, respect and gratitude. Mostly fear. I served under him when I first began to branch out of the Axxilan Antipirate Fleet. Despite my unorthodox background, he took a liking to me due to my work ethic, and we went on to develop a sort of rapport. I later found out that I was around the same age as his son whom he lost during Atoan Insurgency, so that might have played a role in our relationship. All the while, however, I was very aware that if I made an error in my calculations or failed to deliver his caf on time, he would still likely throw me out the airlock without hesitation. Therefore, I wouldn't go so far as to say he was a particularly nurturing mentor, though he was warm compared to my mother.

-Admiral Piett

[musewrangler]

Oh my lands. This illustration. xD xD

PETER CUSHING on playing Grand Moff Tarkin in carpet slippers

They hadn’t got time to have my boots made for me, which is usually the case, because of my large feet, so I had to do with a pair out of stock. Now there I was, on the first day of shooting, this very, very cross, unpleasant gentleman, Grand Moff Tarkin, stomping around, and it was agony, it really was.

So the next day I said to dear George Lucas, the director, I said, “George, I am not asking for close ups, but do you think you could shoot me from the waist upwards from now on?” And he said “Why,” and I explained the reasons, so he said “Oh, all right,” and he gave me a pair of carpet slippers.

So for the rest of the film I stomped around looking extremely angry, very cross, with that dear little Carrie Fisher, as Grand Moff Tarkin in carpet slippers!

[eriexplosion]

Had a shower thought about the whole Plan 99 thing. Specifically that when asked about why the reason is always, "Well they were going into Tarkin's lair and there had to be a consequence." But they never say why it had to be Tech. Why pick your core character that delivers not only most of your exposition but also humor moments, easy writing work arounds, everything?

Well, if I were picking a fake out character death, I would pick Tech immediately. His loss would absolutely be devastating in and out of universe, but he's also specifically the one that thinks his way out of every situation. Establish a high pain tolerance and make it clear just how fast he processes and you're basically set. You have a devastating scene in the moment and a few dozen ways you can take it from there for how he makes it out. You can even damage him enough to take away some of his utility as a character without totally wrecking it because he's both physically and mentally adept, his loss on the field can be devastating without losing his planning skills and exposition.

But if I were planning a real death? Especially in the manner they chose? It would have been Wrecker. Full stop.

He had no narrative threads to tie up, but we see how completely happy he is on Pabu, how great it would have been for him to stay there. He's been our ray of sunshine since the beginning. He bonded with Omega from the start and has always been there for her.

If he fell from the tram car, was left dangling hundreds or thousands of feet in the air, the very mutation that makes him Wrecker would have made him almost impossible to hoist back up in time, no matter how much they tried. The logic is there. The narrative justification is there - he's always been afraid of heights and now he's here with a choice between facing his biggest fear and his family's safety.

He would do it of course. Even if he can't shoot the cable he'd have an explosive on him that could take out the dangling tram car. He would see his own inevitable death from his worst nightmare and he wouldn't hesitate because his family is more important. And when we lost sight of him we would know that it was almost impossible for him to figure out a way to save his own life before he hit the ground. We wouldn't have dozens of ways to reason it out like we do with Tech. It would be immediately and long term narratively devastating without completely hamstringing their best character for getting out of narrative corners and infodumping.

Tech is the perfect fake out pick. But Wrecker? Wrecker would have been the perfect death. And I think they would have known that too. Picking Tech was intentional because he's the only one that could have survived it.

[thrawns-backrest]

things that are canon thanks to Luceno's Tarkin (minor spoilers for the book beware):

• Tarkin has a sense of humor

"Tarkin glanced around the room. “And on our end?” “The HoloNet relay station is best possible,” the specialist at the comm board said. “It is raining, sir,” a different spec added, eliciting a chorus of good-natured laughter from others seated nearby. Even Tarkin grinned, though fleetingly."

• he's also a dramatic bitch who stole Obi-Wan's move

"Tarkin shrugged out of the duster, letting it fall to the floor, and stepped down to the holoprojector."

• huge little shit energy

"Now, while the commander and some of the team members stood arguing about how deep the water might be, Tarkin simply waded directly into the current and trudged to the middle of the river, where wavelets lapped at his shoulders. Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, he yelled back to the team: “It’s this deep!”"

• he was bullied in school, no wonder he and blue man are friends

• Vader being a gentleman to the elderly

"Vader extended a hand to Tarkin and pulled him up onto the deteriorated deck plates of the gunship’s deployment platform."

• we nearly got Tarkin splattered against the viewport of a star destroyer like a fly on a windshield, WE WERE SO CLOSE-

"The countdown had just reached T minus five when Tarkin was yanked forward, nearly completely off his feet. Fearing another lurch he spread his hands wide and so was kept from being slammed headfirst into the closest viewport panel."

• the Emperor arranged a playdate between Tarkin and Vader hoping they would get along better and by the end of it they were friends, aww

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Ep. 10 "Identity Crisis" and Ep. 11 "Point of No Return" Review

Oh wow guys, those two episodes were rough. Definitely went places I didn't expect, but I was overall satisfied. It makes me hate the Empire and Hemlock even more though. Hemlock is such a twisted and sick man. He's right up there with Tarkin and Palpatine for most disturbing Imperial imo.

Anyways, let's dive in! Per usual, spoilers below

I wasn't expecting Emerie as a focus tbh. However, it was actually pretty interesting. Ever since we met her in season 2, the mystery around her and her purpose have been kept in the background. But I must say, getting to see her POV and her conflict between her loyalties to Hemlock and compassion for others was neat. The way she clearly connects to children and thinks back to her own childhood definitely raises questions for the future. I strongly believe that Emerie is going turn against Hemlock in a final act to save Omega at the cost of her own life. After seeing the children being experimented upon, she was clearly horrified. Emerie also has shown concern for both Crosshair and Omega, with the latter being extra special to her.

Speaking of the children, that was absolutely sickening and heartbreaking to watch. Cad Bane is back in his abduction era, oh yes. (He and Todo act like an old married couple and it’ll never not be funny to me). My heart shattered when both Eva and Jax stated all they wanted to go home. The dark truth is that they never will. Unless Omega and the boys successfully free everyone from Tantiss, then those kids will forever remain prisoners. It just makes me hate Hemlock even more. The children are definitely instrumental in Emerie's change of heart and I think she was meant to be created for the same reason Omega was. However, she failed for some reason. We'll get more lore soon no doubt.

I also found Tarkin's line about Hemlock stealing all the funding to be humorous. It'd be so funny if Hemlock just made the Empire flat out broke.

And yes, it was finally Pabuover. We all knew it was coming, even the Marauder's destruction. However, I do understand some people not feeling as impacted by it because it was in the trailer. Nevertheless, it was still hard to watch. Freaking Cid once again sold the Batch out. That woman better be stuck in a deep, dark hole for all the trouble she caused. Because of her, a beautiful, little family and a lovely island were destroyed. That being said, I'm glad the way they found Pabu was through looking at Phee's recent travel history instead of the "Crosshair sleeper agent" theory. It would've made no sense if that theory was correct because the Empire took their sweet time tracking him if that was the case.

Seeing the Batch say goodbye to Pabu was sad. Omega putting Lula and Tech's goggles in the Archium symbolizes her leaving her childhood behind imo. She can no longer truly be a kid anymore. Pabu was that safe space. However, it is no longer.

It's truly the Batch's darkest hour aside from "Plan 99." Their ship is gone, Wrecker was knocked out, Hunter had a rough landing, Omega is captured, and Crosshair missed...

I had a feeling Omega was going to give herself up, but to see Crosshair miss such a crucial shot, a shot which would've led the Batch straight to Tantiss, was brutal. He's never going to forgive himself. And how will he explain this to Hunter and Wrecker? Cross went along with Omega's plan and now there trust in him will waver. And the look on his face when he pleads with her to not go through with the plan broke me. That man loves her with every fiber of his being. I swear, Jennifer will be hearing from me soon. Omega doesn’t even know he missed which will also be devastating (but it opens the door for Emerie to save the day).

I knew a moment like that could happen, but to see it hit different. Crosshair had no choice. He was being shot at and out of time. It was now or never. I sincerely hope that he and Hunter don’t argue for the majority of the next episode. Ideally, Hunter will recognize that Cross was backed into a corner and that he what he needs is therapy and hugs, not more yelling.

(Also, why did Crosshair’s imperial theme play for like two seconds? Was it warning us about the shot?)

And then there’s CX-2. Man he’s hard to get rid of, isn’t he? I am so convinced he’s Tech at this point. It was his word choice that clued me in. But with 4 episodes to go, I wonder how they’re going to pull this reveal off, especially if it is Tech. We’ll see.

Btw, I’m so glad they didn’t kill Batcher. The dog is very important you know.

That’s all for now! See yall next week and we can cry some more!

[apocalyp-tech-a]

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. 🤣

[renton6echo]

Day 1 of 30 Days of The Bad Batch

Season 1, Episode 1: Aftermath

Alright. Let's dive into, probably, my favorite episode of the series so far. It's just such a great opening to the characters and the story. What a way to open a series right at Order 66. I just knew we were in for such a rollercoaster from the start of this show. Really, Order 66? That's where you're starting off the show? Force, have mercy on us all.

The biggest gem of this episode is that it's the only one we get where we get to see Hunter, Echo, Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair just be a squad together. If I had my wish, I would have liked to have seen more of that before Crosshair and the rest of the batch split off. It was harder to see what the loss of Crosshair did to the team on an emotional and military tactics level. We didn't get much in the way of their team dynamic apart from Crosshair just being known as the surly, grumpy one. While I do love all the theories around how it was likely Echo who stepped into the role that Crosshair had like like being the peacekeeper between Tech and Wrecker's, it would have been nice to see more of that so we had an idea of what the Batch lost.

I've put my live musings of the episode under this thread for the sake of my followers. Sorry, not sorry!! Ya'll knew what you were getting into following me 👀

Not sure if anyone else is interested in doing this but if you're also re-watching TBB before the season 3 premiere be sure to tag all your musings in the #30 Days of The Bad Batch so I can read them!!

@floundrickthewayfarer @saturn-sends-hugs @the-bi-space-ace

First off, Captain Grey, I wish we had gotten to know you more before your chip activated because you seem like a sassy and salty man. I'm sure you and Rex swapped lots of stories.

Wee Kanan. I remember watching this the first time and having just finished Rebels. I saw and heard Kanan and literally said, "Oh, shit. Please no!! This is so mean." Good times. Good times.

So at what point did they realize they could use Echo's scomp as a melee weapon? It is so badass.

Oooff. That shot of the large canyon separating Kanan and Hunter that symbolizes the break between clone and Jedi *chefs kiss*

I really wish we had more scenes take place in TBB's barracks. So many fun details to dissect.

Will never get over Tech's matter-the-fact "My exceptional mind." Legend.

LOL. Echo's put-out expression when Wrecker notes how ugly Palpatine is! I've never noticed that.

Wonder how well the clones are informed in intergalactic politics. Echo seems to have a real knowledge of the larger political nuance more than the others. He is the first to openly question clones as soldiers of the Empire versus the Republic. I assume the Kaminoans would not have spent a lot of time educating clones on political structures and more on just being compliant with the system they were born into. For most clones, the transition from republic to empire is more or less just a name change, but Echo clearly takes issue with the implications.

Battle simulation time! Honestly, I could watch a whole series of clones just bantering and comming each other in battle. Such a fun, creative way to learn about characters and see them interact with each other. Wrecker and Tech sniping at each other is the best thing ever.

ALSO, Hunter why you whistling at them? You got comms for a reason you dramatic punk.

The implication that Crosshair also cried after seeing a fully stocked armory is just...I need that footage.

I never noticed that most, if all the weapons the Onderon insurgents have are Republic-issued.

Omega liking the batch's smelly barracks? Yeah, she's one of them.

Freaking Tarkin. I'm assuming he was just going to fry all their brains to make the whole batch compliant. Ugh. Poor Crosshair.

Oh, Shock troopers. Worst jobs with the worst rap. Do you think we will get to see Commander Fox in the last season? 🤞🏽

"You were down!" Echo has the best sense of humor.

[bakerstreetbabble]

Peter Cushing: one of my favorite Sherlocks

I have often written on Baker Street Babble about some of the more recent portrayals of Holmes: Cumberbatch, Miller, and Downey.  And I've spent some time indicating my admiration for Jeremy Brett's Holmes.  However, on of my favorite actors to portray Sherlock Holmes was Peter Cushing, who had the distinction of playing the detective in three different decades: the 1950s, the 1960s, and the 1980s.

Cushing first played Holmes in the 1959 Hammer Films version of The Hound of the Baskervilles. Despite the film's somewhat sensationalist rendition of The Hound, I find it to be perhaps the best version I've seen.  Cushing's Holmes is intense and dashing, with just the right kind of energy and humor for my taste. Reportedly, Cushing was very dedicated to his research of the character of Sherlock Holmes, and was very interested in the details: how Holmes smoked his pipe, how he did his hair, and how he stabbed his correspondence on the mantel with a jack-knife.  The Watson to his Holmes in the film is played quite capably by Andre Morell, and we also get the wonderful Christopher Lee as Henry Baskerville.  You can get a glimpse of Cushing's performances at the trailer below:

Almost a decade later, Cushing returned to the role of Sherlock Holmes, when he took over the part from Douglas Wilmer for the BBC's 1968 TV series, "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes."  Wilmer had played Holmes in black-and-white in the 1965 incarnation of the series, with Nigel Stock as his Watson. The 1968 was taped in color, and retained Stock as Watson.  The 1968 series was apparently quite popular at the time: Alan Barnes reports in Sherlock Holmes on Screen that The Sign of Four from the series garnered over 15.5 million viewers.  Once again, Cushing's portrayal of Holmes is very much on point, and it's a pity that more episodes from the series haven't survived.  According to Barnes, the BBC at the time had a policy of wiping tapes of programs that weren't considered significant enough to keep.  Still, copies survive of A Study in Scarlet, The Hound of the Baskervilles, The Boscombe Valley Mystery, The Sign of Four, and The Blue Carbuncle. 

Cushing's last hurrah as Sherlock Holmes occurred in 1984 in a made-for-TV film entitled The Masks of Death.  By this time, Cushing was 71, and his Holmes no longer has the energy that made his earlier performances so enjoyable.  The film works Irene Adler into the plot, though not as a love interest (Cushing was too elderly at this point to make such a plot credible).  The film was the last in which Cushing would play a leading role.  You can watch the film in its entirety on YouTube (I've embedded it below for your convenience).

Like many people of my generation, my first exposure to Peter Cushing as an actor was seeing him play Grand Moff Tarkin in Star Wars in 1977.  Some of his performances as Sherlock Holmes in the films and TV programs mentioned above are abundant proof of how woefully underused Mr. Cushing had become at that point in his career.  Do yourself a favor, and watch Peter Cushing play Conan Doyle's great detective.  You won't be sorry.  

Peter Cushing's own sketch of Sherlock Holmes

[musewrangler]

And you would be CORRECT 😂😂

Remember the citadel arc? There’s a scene where Tarkin is on Anakin’s back and I just—aljdhdkshdsk darth vader gave governor Tarkin a piggy back ride

and i think he should do it again

[sinisterexaggerator]

Beauty and the Bounty Hunter

Chapter 4: The Hunt

Part 5 >>

(Cad Bane x Fem! Reader/OC)

Fic summary: You are Aurora Ordel: the pinnacle of femininity gone wrong. Smart, sexy, but with a sassy mouth. Hailing from Corellia, you live on Coruscant at your career’s behest. You are a “Chief Design Engineer” for The Galactic Empire; inventor of the Onager-Class Star Destroyer - this super weapon is your pride and joy.

Your employer is Palpatine; you answer to Darth Vader; and Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin is always barking up your skirt.

You are also beauty who has met with beast – a surly, ill-tempered bounty hunter who you like to swap spit with. Your problem? - Everyone’s out to kill you for being such a kriffing witch, and on top of that, you’re addicted to that Duros dick. Your solution? – Make Cad Bane your ( on call ) bitch.

*This is a second person POV (reader) fic / OC fic. It's both. I forgo physical descriptions at much as possible, though yes, you/she has a name, and a personality. If that is not your cup of tea, that is fine, but as the story stands it will remain this way. I still have fun writing it. If it pisses you off, oh well I guess. DN read.

This chapter: Our dear reader has found herself in trouble. Cad Bane is quite fed-up with her! Will he bother to come to her assistance, and if so, under what pretense?

Warnings: 18+ for dirty humor, death, murder, reference to fertile cycles and alien biology aka horny old man Bane headcanon, exploding heads, allusions to physical abuse, mention of sexual assault (no penetration), misogynistic/gross men, emotional trauma / other heavy shit, but don't worry. Cad Bane saves you.

Word count: 6.5k

Notes: No smut this time. Sorry / not sorry about that, but the story is definitely progressing in that direction for chapter 5! I apologize for the long delay. Hopefully this chapter will still be entertaining!

BATBH: Masterpost

You are Aurora Ordel and you have found yourself in trouble. Your hired gun had been callous towards you and for good reason. You had annoyed him to the point money did not matter. He was through with you, and you were being held for ransom.

You had lost track of time though hours felt like days. Your kidnappers hadn’t fed you though they were kind enough to let you drink for without water you would die. It wouldn’t do them any good if you were dead – not yet.

Little did they know the Empire did not take kindly to this sort of thing. Perhaps your life was not worth the credits that they required for your release. You had your doubts having heard their plans, even if you were an infamous, “evil” scientist.

This gang of thugs - of miscreants - had claimed to of seen you on the HoloNewsThey assumed you were someone of esteem and influence, and perhaps you were. Just days ago you had the Emperor himself eating from your palm, but only because of your invention. You were unsure that he would bother to send anyone to gain your freedom.

After two days your assailants were growing bored. You wore a blindfold. You had no idea what they looked like or their species, though some of them had claws as they had fondled and caressed your body.

You had choked back tears against your gag. They claimed to love the soft flesh of a human. Their words came out as a hiss. You thought maybe they were Trandoshan or perhaps more Duros.

That thought led you to more unsavory ones - the very thing you did to displease the hunter – that kriffing bet. Your desire for him had overpowered your sense of reason. You were normally so smart yet this blue man caused you to act stupid.

It’s like your brain turned off around him. No man, no alien had ever had that effect on you before. It was unnerving, yet your libido grew and grew to the point you could lose all control. It was no doubt curious though you chose to act instead of question it.

Just thinking about Cad Bane had you sopping wet even as you were bound in binders and blind to your surroundings. You cursed yourself behind your gag though the scent of your arousal had alerted your greedy captors. Whatever was their ilk, they could tell.

“Sssssshe likesssss it. What a ssssssslut,” one of the Trandoshans said. You nearly screamed as his forked tongue flitted against your ear. You kicked your legs though your ankles were bound. One of his large hands easily held them down.

“We got ourssssselvvvvesssss a braaaaaat,” the reptilian creature hissed. There was raucous laughter followed by the overwhelming feeling of being helpless.

You held back tears for they wouldn’t do you any good. Your mind drifted to that damn Duros. He wished you had never slighted him. The only thing that made you finally cry was that he had never fucked you proper.

---

Cad Bane was on the hunt. Your scent had been overpowered, outnumbered by the odors of your adversaries. They had purposely split up, going two separate ways. Perhaps they knew who they were dealing with when they saw the company you kept.

Bane was aware it was in his best interest to leave it be, yet you had paid him quite a hefty sum. Maybe he felt a sense of duty though he had convinced himself to swear you off. It still felt … wrong, seeing as how you couldn’t even see, and that part had been his fault, no matter that you quite deserved what you had got.

Ultimately, if he hadn’t ejaculated on your glasses you wouldn’t be in this mess.

The hunter sighed, running a hand over his long face as he shook his head. He shouldn’t have let your attitude get the best of him. To lose his cool was unprofessional, no matter if he had been balls deep in your pretty cunt, as that was less than professional as well, but he would have to admit he had enjoyed it when in fact his testes resided inside himself.

He hadn’t… finished; he hadn’t let you finish. To die without the satisfaction of an orgasm was a cruel and unjust punishment, especially as your desire for him was downright palpable.

His ego was somewhat elevated despite the events that had transpired. If he played his cards right you might still be alive. If not, well, he at least could say he tried.

Cad Bane stalked the lower levels, having asked anyone in the nearby vicinity about what it was they’d seen. For the perpetrators to have moved so fast dictated they were not human beings. He had smelled a mix of things. Gotals, which was worrisome, Trandoshan, and a subspecies of their ilk. They were just as ugly, going by the name of Saurin’s who hailed from the planet Durkteel.

They all had claws, sharp teeth, or horns: things that you might be afraid of. Yet, as a scientist, Bane wondered if you were perhaps enjoying it.

Oh, but his thoughts wandered to things that were unpleasant. That prompted him to traverse through the Underworld portal in his ship, deeper down than where the Red Rancor sat.

Level 1313 was so aptly named as it was one-thousand-three-hundred and thirteen levels from the core of Coruscant. This place was vile, often forgotten by those above and disregarded, though Cad Bane had visited this undercity numerous times before.

Information was what he was after on your whereabouts. Tidbits, morsels, or even scraps often proved useful when you followed the right tracks. He left the Justifier in the safekeeping of his droid, then slinked through the crowds as he kept an eye out and one ear open.  

Bane canvassed the filthy streets, using the fear of God he put into people. No one dared to turn him down from the moment he’d made eye contact.

His reputation was a boon though he could not prevent denizens from lying to him. He had learned to gauge a person’s body language, their nuanced movements, and the tone of voice they used to tell if they were playing stupid. Most were too afraid to fib though Bane uncovered nothing of grave importance.

A few individuals in particular he thought suspicious; he collected their names and any identifying features. He used his thorough research skills to rummage down back avenues on the HoloNet, picking and choosing where he was led to next on instinct.

After many dead end leads and unsuccessful stealth laden ventures, Bane decided on a place to rest and kick his feet up but also one full of chumps and gangsters, two-bit crooks, and even bounty hunters. He’d fit right in, to most people’s chagrin - Cad Bane’s presence was at the very least intimidating.

Finally, some punk, some wet nosed kid who knew little-to-nothing about subtlety or keeping secrets just couldn’t stop himself from bragging. A heavy flow of ale meant a heavy flow of intel from his end. Bane would often buy drinks for blatherers; the payout was worth the credits, especially if he was not in the mood to cause a scene.

“They caught themselves an Imp with a real nice rack. Wonder how many war crimes she’s committed.”

“Bitch probably deserves what’s coming to her,” some rando commented.

“Wouldn’t mind being the one to give it,” the stoolie laughed. "Then I'd leave her a present to remember me by - all over those perky tits."

The unwitting snitch had just joined ranks with a no-good band of hoodlums, rivals to the ones called Raptors, and they had the inclination to snatch their current captive to take the reward all for themselves.

Some woman - a smart one, from what he had gathered – she held secrets belonging to the Empire. This kid had seen her dragged inside a warehouse; he had overheard a man with green hair explain the details to someone else - the plans they had for you should no one bother to collect.

Cad Bane thought there was more to it than that. He ground his teeth into his toothpick. Upon threat of death should he waste his time, the squealer shed light on this gang’s hiding spot, advising the bounty hunter on where to start his search afresh.

Then, he broke his neck.

“Dhat’s fer bein’ a disgustin’ bastard,” Bane sneered, though he had mostly committed murder so he did not follow in his footsteps; it would have been a bother should he gain advantage, or get word back to his gang.

However, he could not deny the imbecile was accurate: your rack was nice. He found himself annoyed that he was worried about your safety, red eyes squinting as he glared at nothing in particular until he moved ahead, hoping you weren’t dead yet.

The Duros was forced to enter the Crimson Corridor, the even seedier high-crime district that was positioned some ten kilometers from the former Jedi Temple. It was in the Third Quadrant of the Zi-Kree Sector, and not a place for a lady such as yourself no matter your lack of proper manners.

This region was far from your original location; he wondered if this whole charade was planned ahead or just an opportune arrangement. Considering the many talents you seemed to have he wouldn’t put it past this motley crew to know what you were truly on about.

Cad Bane shook his head again; he could hardly believe a gal like you created superweapons. With such a shapely ass, wide hips, and perfect breasts, it was a wonder you had also been blessed with such a brain to boot, one that housed monolithic blueprints for some of the most dangerous playthings in the galaxy, yet you were worse than all those children he had been paid to wrangle; they knew how to listen. You were a walking contradiction!

You talked back, talked smack, running your mouth from here to the Mid Rim with the obscenest things, and you had the nerve to make that bet!

Oh, you had begged forgiveness. But even if he was irritated with you and had admittedly planned to leave, he could not vindicate forfeiting you to the grimy hands of other men.

This time he had brought Todo with him, the droid trying to point out something Bane would not accept; there had been a rise in his reproductive hormone levels and your presence was simply not helping matters though the droid was positive it could.

Maybe it was a mistake to link his little confidant to his life support; he knew the ins and outs of every facet of Bane’s many somatic systems. Todo was aware If Bane were sick or injured before even he did on occasion, but the price to pay was he had become a hassle. He was always badgering and nagging, telling him when to eat, or sleep, or when to brush his teeth so as to practice good oral hygiene.

He was tempted to end the program but he also loved having the upper hand. Should he need him one day, Todo would be a comm away.

Still, at this very moment, the service droid would not stop talking, elaborating on the intricacies of Durosian biology and fertile cycles, reproductive windows, and the horrors and atrocities of aging. If he did not need him to distract that damn Gotal he had smelled, Todo would have still been sitting pretty in the Justifier and Bane could bask in silence.

“It will only get worse, you know,” the little droid stated matter-of-factly as his master listened, a broad sneer plastered on his blue face from crease-to-crease.

“De only thing gettin’ worse a’round here’s yer jabberin’,” the Duros seethed.

“That is not true. Perhaps you have not noticed as you are not the one experiencing it from an outside perspective, but every three months your mood swings are absolutely terrible,” Todo disagreed.

“Maybe ye’ jus’ piss me off like clockwork,” Bane retorted.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Ah don’ doubt it aht all,” the Duros snickered.

“Think of all the laundry I have to do!”

“Perfect task fer’a butler droid.”

“I am not a butler droid! How many times have we been over this? And it’s not just laundry. It’s worse than that, it’s-

“Ferget dhat,” Bane cut in. He did not want to talk about the aftermath of his lengthy masturbation sessions. “Focus. Keep yer optics open, or dhis is liable t’be'uh skank in a scud pie sit'uation.

“What is it that you think we are doing?” Todo asked deliberately.

“Rescue op,” Bane drawled from around his toothpick.

“Since when do you ever do those?” he asked quite flagrantly.

Bane rumbled a warning at him. “Since when d’ye tolk so dang-blamed much?” He thought it over. “Eval! Got him outta prison. Tch.” He failed to mention Obi-Wan or his hand in the whole affair.

“Did ye’ ferget Zziro?” he asked after the fact. “Rescued ‘im durin’ dhat whole ssenate thing. You weren’t dhere fer dat part, but as ye’ very well know, it happened!” he snapped, exasperated.

“I thought those were more like recovery missions,” the techno-service droid argued back with a tad of sass. “Besides, you said you would never take one of those jobs again! And this one you’re doing for free?”

“Ain’ free! S’paid in ad’vhance, an’ Ah meant werkin’ fer de Hutts!” Cad spat, flicking his chewed up toothpick straight into Todo’s shoulder; it bounced off and landed in a puddle, Todo glancing up at Bane as he hovered above the water on his rocket boosters, shaking his large head with an iota of disapproval.

“In advance of being kidnapped? Why, I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

Cad Bane paused, dredging two fingers against his chin. He rubbed softly as he had a thought: was it possible this had been your plan as well? His brow ridge furrowed. He snorted out a scoff; that would have been ridiculous. Not even you would go that far to get attention.

“Why d’ye think dhere’s bodyguards, laa’serbrain? Ye’ hire ssomebody ‘cause yer either a’fraaid of bein’ kidnapped, or a’fraaid of ssomeone killin’ ye,’” he quipped in agitation.

“So, then you mean to tell me you have failed at your job?” Todo asked with honest curiosity. “Your task was to guard Ms. Ordel, yet she has been kidnapped?” Todo’s body language made him appear aghast. “Oh, this is worse than I thought! Your judgement has been clouded to the point it is affecting-”

Cahn’nit! No more playin’ know-it-all! God only knows how’a know-it-all knows ever’ythin’ exscept how annoyin’ dhey are. Gotta too big mouth fer ye’ too big head. We’re here!” he added. “Now, shut up.”

“If that isn’t the Quacta calling the Stifling slimy,” Todo whispered to himself in reference to the size of his large head. Duros were no better off in that department.

Bane ignited the thrusters on his boots without another word, launching himself heavenward. He bounded from roof to roof until he landed atop a structure in much need of repair, Todo not far behind. There was a viewport that acted as a skylight, Bane peering into the dimly lit storehouse that the boy had pointed out; this place was to be his target, and those who tread within.

For now, the hideout was sparsely populated though there was that infernal Gotal and a rather beefy human male, but what was worse was the Gotal already seemed to be aware of Cad Bane’s proximity; it was time for Todo to perform his single task.

Gotals, as a species, could sense their quarry from up to ten kilometers away; they could track a herd for weeks, determining the amount, game type, and fitness level by relying on their cones alone. When close to targets, they could easily absorb information on its mood and state of mind. As such, they numbered among the most sought-after hunters in the galaxy, which in this instance was not to Cad Bane’s benefit – far from it.

Those… things that Gotal’s had - cranial horns were good receptors -  they could sense electromagnetism and varied energy emissions, including auras from other lifeforms and things as tiny as neutrinos. They were the exact opposite of Duros. Their eyesight and hearing was quite weak and their sense of smell almost completely absent, but that did not reduce their other talents.

Droids, as it were, gave off enough emissions to at least annoy one, but Cad Bane had a sabacc card up his long sleeves: electro-magnets strapped to the inside of Todo’s chassis. They emitted emanations ten times that; it should be more than enough to disorient the sentient.

The Gotal had begun to move around the room as if he were looking for something or someone, the human male keeping close watch even as the horned being warned him that something was off. He used his wrist comm to call for back-up; he wandered toward the locked tight doors. This was Cad Bane’s chance. Perhaps he could avoid a firefight if he could rescue you before any new arrivals.

He took a moment to study your appearance. He could see you clearly from this vantage. You were tied up by the hands around a post, your legs stretched out before you. 

“Bet she’s sittin’ dhere wishin’ she ain’ get under m’scales,” Bane mumbled.

Oh, how right he was.

It had been nearly three whole days. You were wearing the same outfit. Your shoes were gone, and your glasses, too. He cursed himself, noticing you looked like you might have been abused.

There were marks and bruises on your arms; your hair was in a disarray. He was sure you had spent more time crying as there were mascara stains, old ones, running down your face.

Cad Bane gnashed his fangs.

“Todo… cut’a hole in dhis trans’paristeel, dhen get down dhere an’ disstract dhat Gotal once he exits de building,” Bane ordered coldly.

“Right away, Bane!” Todo activated a hidden laser, focusing its beam on the glass before him. He cut a large circular shaped hole before Bane rummaged in his tote, withdrawing two suction cups. He implanted them against the plate; he removed the excess then set it off to the side. It was big enough for the hunter to squeeze through, the little droid giving a salute before he zipped down off the roof.

Cad Bane watched, leery, as his little partner flew off to do his job. He reset his intentions, gazing down into the warehouse.

To his annoyance three more beings had joined the man. Two Trandoshan, and one Bith. He snickered, preparing to make his entrance.

He paused. You had made a noise. Your pathetic whimpering had enticed one of the large reptiles.

“Aww, poor thing. What’ssss the matter?” the largest Trandoshan taunted, “Did you missss me?” he asked nastily.

Cad Bane watched as you kicked your feet and twisted against your bindings. He noted there was a gag inside your mouth to silence your response. He supposed you talked too much, and in that moment he could not blame your captors, even though he was now on edge as the scaled being bent down to caress your inner thigh; his claws teased and tormented you as they disappeared beneath your skirt.

You whined against the cloth stuffed in your mouth. Cad Bane’s green blood set to boiling.

“Todo, where’sss de ugly goat man aht?” he hissed into the comm upon his wrist gauntlet. He was trying hard to keep his cool.

Todo 360 returned the comm, floating with his tiny hands upon his hips. He was quite satisfied with himself, the Gotal on his knees before him. The ache in his head was quite apparent; his actions were ones of pain and anguish as he rolled around upon the ground. He was flustered, flummoxed, and all together worthless, having been thoroughly incapacitated beyond his usefulness.

The service droid’s proud voice rang out, “Currently, he is indisposed. Would you like to leave a message?”

“Keep him pinned, got quesstions. Dhis ain’ all o’dhem.” he said, referring to the Raptor gang.

“Yes, sir!” Todo accepted his orders without question.

You screamed though it was muffled. Cad Bane withdrew one LL-30 BlasTech pistol. He took his time, aimed, and fired. He shot the human dead, then the Trandoshan next. The lizard’s body fell across your lap right before Bane dropped down to the warehouse floor like a graceful Loth-cat.

His duster settled; he rose from bended knee. The other lizard creature lifted his weaponry. Cad revoked it and shot him between the eyes; it had all been simultaneous.

His lariat had extended. It had wrapped around the blaster’s grip. He jerked it from the Trandoshan before he even knew what happened. At the same time that this occurred, Bane lifted his own pistol. It was a fluid movement, the heavy carcass falling upon the floor right by your feet.

That left the Bith; Cad Bane cornered him. He tossed the blaster rifle to violently discard it.

As for you, you had no idea what the hells was happening. You jiggled at your cuffs, chest heaving as you breathed in deeply. You were frantic, wondering if you would be the next one to meet your Maker, or if perhaps your comrades had come for you, but that might not necessarily be good.

For one, you could be branded as a failure. You had not avoided capture. Granted, this had been your employer’s greatest fear, though now your project was in its final stages. Surely you were still of utility, why else had they deigned to hire you?

Your thoughts raced; you suddenly wondered if they would believe anything you had to say. Would Tarkin assume you spilled secrets while in captivity?

Surely he would not! But you could hardly put it past the Moff. You felt if you ever made it out alive Wilhuff might decide to ride you raw.

Thankfully, that was not to be taken literal. For Tarkin to get anywhere near your naughty bits nearly triggered your gag reflex. Besides, you had heard that he was gay. The idea suited you – the mighty Moff with a cock shoved up his ass. You would love to tell him to “sit on it and spin.” Maybe if he got his rocks off he’d lighten up a bit.

Though not to diminish your current state, which was one of fear and panic; you started crying at the awful sounds the Bith was making as Cad bane had withdrawn something from his coat’s deep pockets.

Bane held the Bith around the neck; he dipped down low to sniff him with his olfactory organs. This one smelled like you, too. No one would be getting off the hook.

He felt unusually cruel though you were still blind to the goings on. Cad Bane whispered a few simple words, the other struggling to free himself as you strained to hear what was being said.

“When ye’ get te hell, tell ‘em Cad Bane ssent ye’,” the Duros sizzed.

The voice had not been comprehensible; there was a new sound to distract you. You heard the ticking of a timer, one that was high in pitch. It was meant for the tiny Bith who squirmed and squawked in Cad Bane’s grip, the hunter doing the unthinkable when he shoved it between his odd shaped lips.

Bane ignited his boot’s thrusters. He propelled himself and dove into a darkened corner. Within seconds you heard something terrible and shrill, then felt something warm and wet; for a moment you thought that you’d gone deaf.

Whatever had splashed you was thick and sticky, and on top of everything you still could not see or even speak. You thrashed against your stun-cuffs, not realizing the Bith’s head had just exploded, and now the remnants were all over you.

Their senses were highly acute; Bith could perceive tonal qualities of sound unknowable to others. An interesting side effect was in the use of screamers.

Bane only came out when the coast was clear, but you were livid, kicking and jerking as if he were out to kill you and for all you knew it was the truth.

Cad Bane approached you though you still had no idea he was the culprit. You were sobbing, trying to remove the Trandoshan that had fallen across your legs.

The weight was lifted; someone had dislodged the dead guy, finally. This person lowered and touched your knee as they tried to calm you down, not thinking you might take this as a threat though in hindsight it made sense.

Your leg rose; you would have socked Bane right in the family jewels if he were human. It was a good thing his reproductive organs were internal, or he might have killed you on accident.

He halted any further actions, holding both your legs down with one large hand as he contained a growl, the Duros meaning to comfort you but instead yelling, “Ssimmer down!”

It was fruitless; you couldn’t even hear him. The ringing was still present in your ears though you felt you could register things at a distance. It felt like being in a tunnel while at the same time underwater. Your heartrate increased as the being shifted his position.

You screamed again when he leaned in, right as he removed your gag.

Bane fell backward, nearly losing the hat atop his head. He grimaced, barking out more orders once he had recovered from you yelling in his face. “Calm yer tits, wo’man! Yer safe!”

You seemed inconsolable; all you did was weep. Cad Bane crawled forward on his hands and knees; he reached out timidly to remove your blindfold. He acted like one who might be wary of a hound, not sure if they might bite or attack on sight.

You stifled a gasp though your lips trembled. Your eyes were having a hard time readjusting. The luminescence of the room was dim at best, but you had been in the dark for nearly three whole days. Then, everything was blurry. Your spectacles were missing. You did not expect to get them back, you were well past that.

“Wh-who’s there?” you fearfully called out, your words a broken whisper as you waited for the worst.

A face appeared within your vision; it was much too close to recognize. Your shivering got worse though you managed to screech loudly, “Get the hells away from me!”

Cad Bane complained verbally. “Ye’ wanna know who’s dhere, dhen ye’ want me te let ye’ a’lone. Make up yer mind, brainiac!” he scolded you, half-assed.

All you heard was something about ass though your hearing was finally coming back. That did not stop you from throwing a full on fit. You railed against your bonds, not caring that it hurt you in the process.

“L-let me go!” you beseeched, your voice cracking pathetically. You were ashamed you had broken rank only in that you expected more out of yourself.

Four broad fingers and one thumb nestled in against your cheek. It was cool to the touch but the nerve this person had made you even madder.

“Don’t touch me!” you belted out the moment you perceived a movement of his hand. That had not stopped him so you stated your true feelings. “I’m too young, beautiful, smart, and funny to die,” you claimed brazenly.

A thumb brushed against your lips as the Duros shushed you; you inhaled sharply before you sank your teeth in. You recognized the taste, the smell, then you heard his raspy voice. “Says you. Don’ have’a conniption, it’s just me, girl- Ahh!! Karkin’ harpy!!” he hissed, giving your nose a forceful flick.

Somehow knowing it was Bane only made it worse. You cried full-fledged, feeling so terrible about yourself. To top it off, now you had gone and bit him! You should have kept your mouth shut. You should never have made that bet. Your speech was garbled as you petitioned for forgiveness.

“Inevermeantto-” you expelled in a rush, salty tears streaming down your face. You cried so hard you were beginning to hyperventilate, remembering what Cad Bane had relayed. “Your-your services are no longer required!” you stammered hurriedly.

You continued to pull against the cuffs; you were sure to have bruises on your wrists. Bane cinched his fingers around your forearms; they   were small compared to his wide reach.

“Wait’a tick,” he advised you, having recovered from your nip. “Whaddaye yappin’ a’bout- sstop squirmin’ so damn much,’ yer gonna hurt yerself!” he berated, flustered.

Your breathing was erratic. You felt like you were dying! You could only reiterate what you had said in so many words, “I am no longer your client! I don’t need you! You, you left me- and, I-” you stumbled over your confession. “I deserve it looking the way that I do! It was bound to happen, re-remember?!” you asked as more tears crept down your cheeks.

The hunter felt a pang of guilt. “Hush now, m’lil’ hellcat,” he coaxed you gently, though you were mildly traumatized. The gangsters had not had their total way with you, but they had felt you up and fondled all your attributes.

“What the hell’s all over me?! Please, don’t say cum,” you screeched.

“Brains,” Bane answered casually.

“Brains!?”  It was worse than you imagined.

He did not respond this time. His fingers worked their magic on the cuffs. He quickly set you loose. You took to rocking back and forth, drawing your knees up to your chin. “You-you’ve already been paid!” you shrieked as your voice fractured. “G-go away!” you commanded him.

He called you by your name. “Need’te get ye’ outta dhis snake pit, no reason te make it hard. No lady deserves dhis, naht even you.”

“Yes, I do! I’m terrible, I’m the worst. You said so yourself!” you shot back as he moved to wind his arms around you. You bucked and wriggled, borderline ready to throw a tantrum. You were tired and hungry, cold, wet, and somehow slimy. You felt you must smell awful, but worst of all you were full of pity for yourself and covered in some guy’s grey matter.

For once Bane was being sympathetic, yet you were full of trepidation. You threshed against his hold so much he withdrew a tool he had stashed away inside his lengthy coat: his hypnosis orb.

It mimicked a Jedi mind trick. Bane could calibrate it to be stronger and for the effects to last a little longer. He had the thought to knock you out for a length of time, just until he could get you someplace else. You were partially delirious from lack of food and rest.

He could not blame you for behaving crazy, at least not right this second. He assumed he’d just have to wait a smidge for you to return to normal, whatever normal was. It was all the more reason to lull you into a brief sleep; you would be less annoying.

The hypnogazer actuated. He brought it up to eye-level with you. You blinked at first, confused, until he found your sweet spot; the correct distance from your face that allowed you to make it out.

“Sssshhhh…” Bane shushed you softly. “Jus’ relaaaaxxx, lil’ lady…” he whispered in your ear as your eyes partook of the shiny object that held one hundred percent of your attention. You were enthralled and occupied like an intrigued feline until your mind went numb. It was as if all thought had left you. You were a blank slate to be manipulated. There was nothing you could do.

Cad Bane made a suggestion to you. “Close yer eyesss…” he coerced. You complied, no questions asked.

“Drift off’te sssleeeep. No worriesss…” he crooned as if you were a child who needed soothing. But it worked for you did that, too. You were dead to the whole of Coruscant as the bounty hunter carried you.

He made his way across the warehouse, a mite surprised there was no one left to stage an ambush, assuming now might be the time he least expected it. Any possible assailants would have predicted false, though he was happy to avoid the whole damn mess; he comm called Todo, signaling him to open the blast resistant doors.

“Got’m haands full o’dhis tart, get us out,” he dryly directed his blundering droid.

Cad Bane was lashed in the face by the stench of a rat-infested alley. It smelled putrid, like trash and sewage, the Gotal writhing on the ground before him as he held you firmly in his arms. Todo had obeyed his orders. The horned beast of a man was still duly incapacitated. Bane gingerly maneuvered you so he could turn a dial on his wrist gauntlet. It freed the Gotal from his invisible imprisonment.

“Where’s yer boss?” Cad Bane demanded, brandishing his authority by the positioning of a single finger, threatening to increase the power of the electro-magnets at his disposal at a moment’s notice.

“I don’t know!” the sentient replied, knowing Green Hair would have his hide, but he couldn’t decide what’s worse: that, or the effects of the disabling emissions.

“Wrong an’swer,” the Duros spat, making good on his nonverbal threat. He released a wave of pain, the Gotal twitching at his mercy. His kind was not made for this; he cursed the day he joined this gang. He pleaded with the hunter, not knowing what else to do.

“He’ll kill me!” he whined out.

“An’ ye’ think we’re gonna dance?” Cad Bane inquired of him, “looks like it’s gonna be pickin’ between one an’ fourteen, fer you,” he finished flatly. Todo watched from the periphery, his head roving to and fro between who spoke.

“Can’t be sure,” the Gotal panted, still trying to catch his breath. “He doesn’t tell me anyth-!!” He was interrupted by another rousing dose of horrid broadcasts, Todo just happy to be of use as he stood watch.

“Tusken Oasis!! He – arghhh!! He hangs out there-!!” the being howled.

Cad Bane sneered as he gently set you down. He freed the Gotal once again as he stayed put, gasping on the ground. The Duros bared his teeth as he scooped the Gotal up, having dragged him to his feet by the edges of his shirt’s collar.

He took a whiff; the scent of your natural fragrance lingered on the gangster’s clothing. Bane pretended not to notice, forcing the fur covered man to stand up on his own. Cad tipped his hat; bade him goodbye. The Gotal ran, thinking now would be his only chance.

“Hey, fuzzball, “ Cad Bane called out. The Gotal whisked around. He was met with the barrel end of a blaster pistol pointed directly at him. “Enjoy yer last trip home,” he offered, a single particle beam being ejected from its pack. The Gotal dropped like a ton of duracrete flat upon his back.

Bane glanced to you; thankfully you had not stirred. He bent down, then resituated you within his arms. He addressed his droid, firing up his Mitrinomon thrusters. The Duros took to the air, aiming for his hovercar some few blocks off. “We get ‘er back t’de sship, dhen I take care o’dhis Green Hair,” he crisply hissed.

“Shouldn’t we take her to her penthouse first, Mister Bane?” Todo asked presumptuously, thinking that his master was not considering all aspects.

“Naht leavin’ ‘er a’lone dhis way, yer gonna keep ‘er company an’ yer gonna like it,” the Duros stated, sailing through the gaps and spaces between buildings and other forms of real estate. “’Sides, her fancy-pants castle is on de o’der side’a dhis icky menopausilis. Hate backtrackin.’ Al’ready berthed too far as is.”

“Did you mean ecumenopolis? I am afraid I do not understand,” Todo complained. “What am I to do with her?” he asked, nonplussed.

“It ain’ karkin’ rocket science, an’ if it were, ye’ gotta rocket scientist right here,” Bane claimed dismissively.

“With the way she acts I would have assumed she is a xenobiologist on the verge of discovering a new species!” the techno-service droid boldly shot right back. Cad Bane amassed a growl deep within his chest.

“Use yer blaassted logic pro’cessor! Green hair don’ know anythin.’ Wait too long, de traail goes cold, plus’e finds out ���is pads been compromiised,” the Duros rationalized.

“Yes, that does make sense,” Todo easily gave in.

“’Course it does! S’also why Ah’m de one in charge. Now, get in de pilot’s seat,” Cad Bane demanded tersely.

Bane’s source of transport was an airspeeder. It was a vehicle that could fit right in the Justifier’s cargo bay. His ship was docked in a far off spaceport some thousand sectors over. Zi-Kree was immense. Foremost, he had to get you out of here. He settled you in first, then hopped in afterward. “Fly,” he instructed brusquely.

Todo grumbled to himself and anyone who’d listen. “I am a techno-service droid, not a chauffeur droid! Why is it you never want to drive yourself?”

Cad Bane crossed his scrawny legs, placing one hand daintily atop his knee. He looked squarely at the back of Todo’s head, glaring before his eyes widened like a giddy child as they began to move. Cad Bane loved sight-seeing, and he also loved majestic sunsets. On top of that, he was feeling quite pleased with himself and felt he had earned his God damn credits.

He could have argued, or made up some excuse. Instead he lied, though giving the little droid an ego boost to boot. “Yer betta’ aht dhis part,” he curtly clarified, although it could be said Bane appreciated taking in the scenery when he had the time.

“Oh, well you could have said so… a long time ago,” Todo commented. Bane had never bothered to compliment his flying skills before.

The conversation paused. Cad Bane found himself staring down at your sleeping form as he rumbled a soft sound.

“Sir, are you - are you purring?” Todo asked as he glanced backwards.

Cad Bane coughed, hacked, and otherwise choked on his own spit. “Ain doin’ no such thing!” he angrily declared, “An’ watch where yer goin’!” he crossly shouted.

“I just wonder what it is that made you do so,” Todo mulled aloud.

“God ferbid Ah take’a moment te m’self,” Bane griped in indignation.

Todo kept quiet after that though his droid brain had a few independent thought processes; they were things best kept to himself.

His master was not one to like unsolicited advice, though Todo’s programming would not allow him to give up on what was in Bane’s best interest. It was somewhat a blessing and a curse for this poor Duros; Todo could be a nuisance.

Bane only wanted to be left alone, but Todo knew better – he had a power conduit to couple – it would only make things easier for them, as a team, should his best organic friend sate his innate needs and he knew just the thing…

[mostthingskenobi]

Can’t wait to see your RebelCaptain fic and the commission you have with this 😁😁

I am sooooooo stoked to share it with you!!!!! I wish I could take a few days to just finish writing it so I can finally start publishing it!!!

Getting to write scary Tarkin has been a totally new challenge that I LOVE!!! In fact, I've never written from the Empire's perspective except in Sidious and Skywalker...but that's really just Sidious and Vader's persepctive (please be warned...I was in a really dark place when I wrote that fic...it's not for everyone LOL).

And Cassian, in particular, is very different than any other character I've written. He's intelligent, intuitive, physically strong, mentally tough, processes information and adapts really fast, has a sense of humor but can be very serious, is confident but knows when he's made a mistake, and is capable of incredible warmth and chilling ruthlessness. Gimme gimme gimme!!!!

It's been fun to write characters that aren't forbidden from having emotional attachment (I'm looking at you, Jedi LOL!!!!!!!!). There's no magic, no Force, just people with complex emotions who might feel one way while circumstances make those feelings risky.

I'm really sorry if I'm not making any sense. I caught a cold a Celebration and my brain is feeling a little squishy.

But I will say this; my RebelCaptain fic has:

Cassian whump

Slow burn with a payoff

Jyn being a badass babe

Lots of Rogue One references

Andor references

Delicious tropes like "getting caught in a tight space with the person you find most attractive" etc.

Tarkin being an absolute bastard

Guest appearances by some of our favorite rebel pilots

Hurt/Comfort

Adorable frienshipping

Shirtless Cassian 👀

And hopefully some unexpected moments you can't see coming!!

Oh!!!! And as you mentioned, I commissioned some custom illustrations for this fic...because I needed them. I may share 1 or 2 with the public, but all of them will be available to my patrons 💜

I really really really hope you like the fic! Thank you for your message. It really brightened my day!!

[bego447]

The Bad Batch Reacción episodio 13, temporada 3

Quedan tan pocos episodios ya que tengo miedo por lo que pueda pasar... 😢

¡Pero aquí va mi reacción de este penúltimo capítulo! Escribí algunas cosas interesantes al final, sobre Eco precisamente 🥺🤩 Además de mi reacción al pedazo final de este episodio.

EPISODIO 13

Ay madre, ya desde el principio esa música diferente 😬 ¿Se viene episodio serio? Con los pocos que quedan debería.

Omega se ve tan grande en comparación con el sitio 🥺 Si es que los demás son niños, más pequeños, pero ella es adolescente y se nota que es más mayor.

Y encima Eva con la muñequita que ella hizo. 🥺

Ayy la pantorana con el bebé 🥺🤲🏼 cuidando del más pequeñito

Pero qué hermosura de paisaje 😍

Eco! 🤩😭 Te he echado de menos! (y más que lo haré dentro de ¡2 episodios! Cuando termine la serie 😭)

"I can hear you." 😂

"Do you think I'm lying?"

Wrecker y Cross a la vez: "Yes." 🤣🤣

"I can't wear this. It's a captain uniform." 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 Y los demás mirándole con esas expresiones JAJAJAJAJA 🤣🤣 No sé por qué me hizo mucha gracia. Me reí de verdad bastante 😂😂

"Well, you've been demoted." 😂😂😂 Ay es que de verdad, que risa xDD

Esa es mi chica!! Vamos Omega! 💪🏻

"I like a challenge," Wow wow wow ¡Omega! 🤩🤩🤩

Ooohh así que *por eso* de repente su armadura era negra!

"I didn't just make it to vice admiral on looks alone." Sí, el piquito de oro que tienen muchos imperiales… Es casi como ser político. Por eso sorprende tanto lo lejos que llegó Thrawn 😅😂

"You're the ones that are gonna stand out like overheated Gamorreans." 🤣🤣🤣

Ay, no puedo con Rampart en este episodio. Peak humor 😂

La forma en la que dijo "Lieutenant" JAJAJAJA Cada rango lo dice de una forma distinta según lo alto o bajo que sea 🤣🤣 Es que me parto con él

"then contact Governor Tarkin." ¿Por qué me da que igual lo hace y eso les mete en problemas? 😅

"I've missed this." 😂😂😂 Cada frase que dice este hombre me hace reír. xD

"That's 'do you're thing, *sir*'." 🤣🤣

"for violating Article 15 of Imperial standing order 10" Creo que esos soldados no tienen ni idea de qué están diciendo y han obedecido por si acaso 🤣

Wrecker 😂 Qué haces?

"captaining" 🤣 si es que tendría que haber dejado a Crosshair ahí

Si estuviera Tech ya lo habrían solucionado 🥺😪😢

"But I can." 😭 Eco te quiero mucho 🤲🏼 Ten cuidado 🥺

Ostras qué chulo el plano del monte Tantiss desde arriba 😮 Y el cambio de plano 😮

"Our way out." 🥺💪🏻

Justo en ese momento me he fijado en lo que hace Omega con los dedos y la pieza, es algo que hago yo (y por supuesto mucha gente) de forma inconsciente. Que añadan esos detalles de movimientos tan naturales en la animación me parece una fantasía 🤩 Y además justo en ese momento también el pequeño Bayrn acaricia su peluche como si estuviera vivo  y justo antes le acerca una de esas piezas a la boca como si le diera de comer🥺🥺 ¡Qué mono! ¡No puedo con él! 😭

Minuto 18:48-18:55

Noooo jajajaja dime que Eco no (sí) se va a volver a hacer pasar por droide 😂 O al menos a usar eso.

[Algo que me pasó al ver a Eco agachado encima de las cajas esas]

De repente hice una pequeña pausa porque me puse a pensar en todo el cambio que ha sufrido Eco, toda su evolución desde el primer episodio de The Clone Wars en el que sale hasta ese momento.

Es que ¡Mira todo lo que hace él solo! ¡Es tan valiente, y tan capaz! 🥹 Sus habilidades, su inteligencia, su voluntad... todo lo que veo de él en ese momento...

¡Es tan fácil que le pillen! ¡y tan terrible lo que le pasaría si lo hacen! Pero aún así actúa como si fuera una simple cosa más en su vida, como si no existiera el riesgo ni la posibilidad de fallar. ¡Lo hace ver tan fácil!

¡¿Quién se lo iba a decir a ese novato que se estudiaba las regulaciones y las normas y le llamaban Eco por repetir las órdenes?! ¡¿Quién se lo iba a decir a ese equipo de personas que trabajaban al principio de la serie de The Clone Wars y se inventaron a ese personaje, probablemente random que aparecería en un episodio y como mucho alguno más, quién les iba a decir lo lejos que llegaría ese personaje a lo largo de 16 años?!

DIOOOOOOOOOOOS AAAAAHHHHHH HAY TANTAS COSAS EN ESTE MOMENTO 🤩🤩🤩🤩

Primero Eco y todo lo que ha hecho, y cómo lo ha hecho, para llegar hasta allí. ES EL PUTO AMO. EL MALDITO DIOS. ¡ES UN GRANDE! 🤩🤩

Luego está la confianza de los demás en él.  Incluido Crosshair y su "Relax. Echo's on it." Hunter: "Echo will come through."

Y finalmente ese momento en el que Rampart está de los nervios pidiéndoles que se retiren, pero se para la música,… la mirada serie de Hunter… y como dice ese "Negative" y acelera 🤩🤩🤤🤤 AAAAAAAAHHHHH 🤩🤤🤩

Y como el tema del Bad Batch sonando de fondo pero en plan épico 🤩

¡¡VAMOOOOOOOOOSSSS!! 💪🏻🤩💪🏻🤩 (sé que lo lograrían porque solo quedan 2 episodios de la serie, pero aún así lo he celebrado como si tu equipo favorito hubiera marcado un gol de la victoria 😪)

Está muy bien ejecutado. Todo el episodio en general, ¡es una absoluta maravilla! 🤩🤩