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spine-buster · 2 years ago

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Lost in the Memory | Ryan O'Reilly | Volume I

gif credit @/mitchmarner

A/N: Well, here it is...the first instalment of a very inspired plot bunny that appeared the day that ROR became a Leaf! Hope you all enjoy what is basically porn without plot :)

TW: sibling death

“We have an MLSE-owned condo that you can both go to take a few moments before the game – get that nap in – before coming back here.”

Ryan let Noel take it. He made up something on the spot, that he already owned a condo somewhere near here as an investment, and it was sitting empty, so he’d just go to that to get his pre-game nap in. Nobody was the wiser. After Noel was handed the keys to the condo, Ryan ordered an Uber to take him to Summerhill.

As he approached the front door of the original Victorian semi, he admired the bay-and-gable architecture that reminded him so much of the house the Napier kids grew up in. It was why Whitney loved it so much in the first place, and why Ryan bought it for her without giving it a second thought. Original stained-glass windows. Hardwood floors and trim. Original wood-burning fireplaces, still working after being built in the 1890s. Old but cozy. Grand but homey. Four bedrooms, just like there was in her house growing up, one for each of the kids, and of course one for her parents. Ryan could still remember where all the kids’ bedrooms were on the second floor, for various reasons.

Owen was the eldest Napier child, born in 1986 just like Cal. He was the smartest of all the Napier and O’Reilly kids too, save for probably Tara, and his job as a surgeon out in Kelowna proved it. He and Cal played a lot of hockey together, but when Owen decided to get serious about science, he quit. He and Cal drifted apart slightly, but they were still good friends and still kept in touch a lot. Tara came next in 1988, and Ryan and Gareth followed three years later in 1991, within weeks of each other. The two boys were inseparable, whether they were riding their bikes, on their skateboards or rollerblades or scooters, zooming down hills on toboggans – not to mention on the ice. They were always playing together on the same teams, until Ryan left for Toronto and then the OHL. But even then, Gareth would get himself to any game Ryan was playing that was even remotely close to their hometown. Whitney was born four years later in 1995. Owen and Gareth weren’t too excited to get a baby sister – they would have obviously preferred a brother – but Ryan still remembered the day she was brought home from the hospital. Shannon came in 1997, and the group was complete.

When Ryan got drafted, the Napier family were there celebrating with his. Even all of his foster siblings – almost 50 of them – loved the Napier family. When he was drafted and moved to Colorado, they’d make a trip with his parents once a year to watch him play. When he moved to Buffalo, they would drive down multiple times a year to catch a game and support him, knowing what he was going through there. His house was their house. Their house was his house. Their joys were his joys, and their tragedies were his tragedies.

He heard the door unlock. When it opened, he saw Whitney standing on the other side in a pair of Lululemon tights and a crop top. She seemed surprised to see him, even though they’d texted before he got on the plane.

“I thought you’d be taking your pre-game nap,” she said.

Ryan stepped into the house. He didn’t want to waste time. “I’ve got two hours until I have to be back at the arena,” he said, closing the door behind him and locking it without even looking.

In one swift movement, he wrapped an arm around Whitney and pulled her against his body. She let a giggle out. “We can get up to a lot in two hours, can’t we,” she whispered, her voice husky as she looked up at him. It was only then she realized he was wearing a stereotypical Canadian tuxedo, and she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain. “And look at me. I’m not even wearing what I promised for you.”

“You know I don’t care about that right now. I like you better like this anyway,” his voice was just as husky as hers. His hands travelled down over her ass and he picked her up, just as he had countless times before, and she wrapped her legs around his torso, just like she had countless times before. There was no hesitation on either end when their lips and tongues met hungrily, not bothering with pleasantries or soft beginning kisses. That was for those who were unsure or perhaps didn’t know what they were doing, and Ryan and Whitney had been doing this for over ten years.

Ryan was big and strong. He always had been, even as kids – when he’d pick her up and carry her to her room kicking and screaming so he and Gareth could play video games in peace without her annoying them as kids; when he’d push her on the swing in the park and she’d go higher than all the other kids, making them jealous; when she wasn’t so little anymore and she’d pair up with him in pool fights where he’d let her get on his shoulders and he was as solid as concrete foundation. Hockey had only made him bigger and stronger. All the training he did throughout the year, and in the summers with his dad, only meant that his body was always overpowering in its size and stature, but not in a bad way. The first time they’d done this he’d been so gentle with her, but it only took until the second time for Whitney to want to feel his entire body against hers, and for him to use it to his full advantage (and to hers, if she was being honest). They hadn’t looked back since.

Ryan wasted no time carrying Whitney up the stairs, climbing them like it was nothing and leading her to her bedroom. When he placed her down on the bed, their lips didn’t even leave each other’s until she began to grasp at his jean jacket. “Take this off,” she breathed out. “I want to feel your body, Snook.”

Whitney pushed the jacket off his shoulders, and he tugged at the sleeves and pulled it off, throwing it off the bed. She snuck her hands underneath his top, the firmness of his body beneath her fingertips once again. It didn’t matter how many times it happened; it invigorated her every time. There was no other body on this earth that felt like Ryan’s – she was sure of that. And it didn’t matter if they were in bed, in the backseat of his car, in a pool or hot tub, or anywhere else, the feeling of his physical body so close to hers reminded her constantly that Ryan’s body was made for her, and her body was made for Ryan.

Before she could take off his shirt, Ryan began leaving a trail of kisses down her body, dragging his lips and tongue along areas until he pushed her crop top up, exposing her bra. “Take this off, baby,” he mumbled against her skin. “I need to see you.”

Whitney leaned forward so Ryan’s giant hands could slip underneath the fabric and pull her top off, and she followed quickly in pulling her sports bra over her head, lying back down on the bed with her arms above her head. When she felt Ryan clasping his hands over hers, applying pressure to keep them from moving, she grinded her hips up against his. “Fuck,” he let out quickly, quietly, biting his bottom lip. He crashed his lips against Whitney’s, sticking his tongue down her throat and causing her to mewl in pleasure, her hips grinding against his once more.

He could already feel himself getting hard – it never took long with Whitney. He moved down to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Her little sighs and moans were what he got lost in; the same little sighs and moans he would think about when she was on the other side of the dinner table or deck in front of their friends or family and he couldn’t touch her like he could behind closed doors. The thought of them clouded his judgement so much sometimes that he’d tune out what everyone was saying around him and remember a time where he’d pinned her body under his and all they felt was ecstasy.

He began to place big, open-mouth kisses down her chest and stomach, getting achingly slow around her belly button. When he set her hands free, they immediately went to gathering the fabric of his shirt into her fists, pulling it off him quickly so they were both topless. His lips returned dangerously close to the waistband of her leggings. “Not now, Snook,” Whitney said. “Later. I want to feel you inside me. It’s been so long.”

Ryan could barely think straight. “Later?”

“Later,” she nodded, her hands moving down to the button and zipper of his jeans, unfastening them in record speed. “I need to feel you fill me up like you love to.”

She helped him wiggle out of his jeans, and he pulled her tights and underwear off. When he was back on top of her, he grabbed one of her thighs and hooked her leg around his torso. He squeezed at the flesh of her thighs, both their chests heaving up and down. “D’you still have your IUD?”

“Of course.”

The way Whitney closed her eyes as she felt Ryan enter her – every time – still got to Ryan – every time. The way her eyelashes fluttered, then closed shut, then the inhalation of breath. He could feel her nails digging into the skin on his shoulder blades. “Look at me,” he said, almost demanded. Whitney’s eyes fluttered open to do as she was told, even though he was still pushing himself inside her. “You look so beautiful under me like this,” he told her.

“You’re so good to me, Ry,” she called him the pet name only she was allowed. He was called Snook by his entire family. He was called Ryan by everybody else. But only Whitney could call him Ry. “God, you feel so good inside me.” By this point Ryan was fully inside her, basking in the feeling he knew all too well. With one of Whitney’s legs still hooked around his torso, he began moving in and out of her at a steady pace, making her eyes roll to the back of her head from the pleasure. She brought her hands around and cradled his face, her thumbs grazing over his lips. “You love having me like this, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Legs wide open, ready for you.”

“Yes.”

“Did you think about this when you were alone in St. Louis?”

She knew the answer to that question. She just wanted to hear him say how desperately he needed her. “Yes,” he huffed out, feeling her hips push into his again. “All the time.”

“Now that you’re in Toronto we can do this all the time,” she said. He watched as the slightest of smiles adorned her face, biting at her bottom lip. “You’ll be over a lot, won’t you Ry. Having me like this. Getting me on my hands and knees for you.”

The thought of it was heaven. If he could play hockey in Toronto and make love to Whitney in some sort of alternating schedule…well, that was his idea of paradise. “D’you need me like I need you?”

“Yes,” Whitney said without hesitation. “God Ry, you feel so good. Keep doing that. I want it to last as long as possible.”

Ryan grabbed her hands again, holding her wrists together above her head with just one hand. It was a while before he released them, and a while that they were back on his shoulder blades, digging deep into his skin. He couldn’t surmise how long they’d been going for, but he knew it had been a while, judging by the sweat on his body and how flushed red Whitney’s skin was, not to mention how puffy her lips were from all their kissing. He could feel himself getting close, and judging by the sighs and moans escaping Whitney, which he knew all too well, she was close too. “Look at me, Whit,” he said again, watching as she looked him in the eye.

“I want you to come inside me, Ry,” she breathed out. “Think about your cum in me while you win against the Habs.” He grunted at the thought. That would make him go crazy. “And when you get back home I’ll be waiting for you – waiting for you to fill me up again.”

Another loud grunt from him. She knew exactly what to say. “Fuckin’ love you, Whit.”

“Love you too Ry. Ever since we were kids.”

No more words were exchanged. Instead, laboured breaths, solid moans, and passionate cries filled the room until they came together, the feeling of Whitney tightening around his cock sending Ryan over the edge, and the feeling of Ryan coming inside of her, just as she wanted, sending Whitney over the edge too. He went for as long as he could, pumping in and out of her slowly as he felt her body shivering with pleasure, until even he was too tired. He collapsed onto her slowly, and she immediately wrapped her arms around his body, holding him close. They kissed for a while, slowly and passionately until they breathing returned to normal, with Ryan still inside her. Eventually, they lay together on their sides, holding each other.

Ryan’s eyes were getting droopy, and he was having a hard time staying awake. With the whirlwind 12 hours he’d just gone through, Whitney didn’t blame him. She began running her fingers through his hair, letting her nails massage his scalp. “Do you like how I redecorated the place?”

Ryan let out a tired smile. “Didn’t get to see it. But I bet it looks good. Not that my opinion matters.”

“Why not? You own the house.”

“I may have bought it but it’s your house,” he said. Her told her that all the time. He nestled his head into the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath in before exhaling. Whitney could feel his entire body relax in her arms, and she knew he was going to fall asleep any second. “I made a promise to your brother that I’d take care of you,” he continued, “and I’m not gonna break that promise.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d told Whitney that, either. “I know. I remember you saying that to Gareth as he lay in his casket.”

“I’ll always take care of you, Whit,” were Ryan’s last words before Whitney felt his breathing steady as he fell asleep.

Gareth passed away in the summer of 2013, when he was 22 years old. Whitney was just 18, about to move to Toronto and enter her first year of university at Ryerson to study communications. After hopping over to Russia, signing an offer sheet with Calgary, and then signing again with Colorado, Ryan was home early for the summer because the team hadn’t made the playoffs. Gareth, Ryan, and a bunch of their buddies had gone to the beaches near Goderich for a day of some fun and paddleboarding. One by one they had left, until Gareth was the only one. He was supposed to be back out again at 8 that night for a party, but he never showed up. That’s when everyone started to worry.

She remembered texting Ryan first, of course. They spoke every day.

did gareth go your house to get ready for that party?

i left the beach at 2 cuz i was getting sun stroke gareth was still there with jonesy, , john, ben, burnsy, and trent why?

he never came home he’s not answering his phone can you please come over ry

The specific details remained a blur to Whitney. She remembered little pockets of what happened, such as Ryan bursting through the front door. She remembered the kind police officer begging her and her parents to get some rest before the search resumed in the morning but being unable to, despite Ryan in her bedroom with her, holding her and rocking her back and forth, telling her that everything was going to be okay. She remembered not being able to stomach Bonnie O’Reilly’s broccoli chicken casserole even though it was one of her favourites. She remembered Ryan squeezing her hand under the table.

At some point, Whitney remembered hearing the worst news of her life: Gareth’s body had been found washed up on the shore of Lake Huron near Blue Water Beach and had been immediately transported to the hospital. So much water had gotten into his lungs that he’d developed an anoxic brain injury.

She remembered when she first stepped into his hospital room and felt physically sick by how many tubes he was hooked up to, including the ventilator. She remembered the doctors telling them that Gareth had drowned, that he was brain dead, and that they would have to make the choice as to when to remove the ventilator. They waited by his bedside for two days before Owen made it back from British Columbia.

On June 5th, at 3:30 in the afternoon, Gareth James Napier passed away.

Whitney doesn’t speak about his funeral.

***

When Ryan woke up an hour later, he and Whitney were still in the same position, nestled together in her bed. Her hand was still in his hair, their limbs entangled with one another’s. He groaned slightly, knowing that he had to leave but not exactly wanting to. He looked at his watch.

“You should take a shower before you leave,” he heard Whitney’s voice.

“Come with me.”

“Ryyyyyy,” she elongated his name, giggling slightly at the end. “You can’t have sex when you’re trying to wash the smell of sex off of you.”

“You said later, Whit,” his lips grazed against her skin. “It’s later.”

Whitney would never be able to forget how Ryan’s beard felt between her legs. After kissing and washing each other and Ryan eating her out within an inch of her life (seriously, he had to use his hands to hold her up because her legs turned into fucking jello and Ryan wasn’t about to let her fall in her own bathtub and get a concussion), they stood together at her front door, kissing, waiting for his Uber to arrive.

“We fly out to Chicago after the game, and then from there we fly to Buffalo,” he informed her in between kisses.

Whitney already knew. She’d looked up the schedule. “D’you want me to be in Buffalo, Snook?” she asked. He hesitated. “I can be there. I know it’s gonna feel…interesting for you.”

“I can let you know which hotel we’ll be in,” he acquiesced. “If—if you can even come that early. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Whit.”

“I don’t want you feeling alone in Buffalo. I know how much of a mindfuck it can be for you being there,” she wasn’t having any of it. “I can hang out with all the Leaf fans.”

He smiled. “I’m gonna have to get you a jersey.”

“Only if it has your name on the back,” she said, running her hands up and down his chest. “You can fuck me in it after.”

Ryan groaned, leaning his head down to kiss her. A car honked outside. “If you drive home fast enough that night, we’ll be able to. We won’t have to wait.”

Another kiss, this time more urgent. And another. And another. And another. “I’ll see you in Buffalo, Snook,” Whitney finally said her goodbye.

Another kiss. This time, Ryan bit her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled it along with him as he moved away. A soft mewl left Whitney’s lips. “See you in Buffalo.”

***

When Ryan played in Buffalo, Whitney would drive down to see him play. She wouldn’t tell anybody where she was going or what she was doing because it was their little secret. Sometimes she’d go just for a game and to be with Ryan afterwards, and she’d drive home the next morning to make it in time for her 10am class; sometimes if Ryan had a particularly long home stretch, she’d stay over longer and they would stay holed up in his house, making love in every room and on every surface imaginable. In between she would finish school work.

It wasn’t as frequent when Ryan first got to Buffalo. He’d signed a seven-year contract extension for an absurd amount of money – $52.5 million – and was putting up good numbers. But the team kept losing. And losing. And losing. It started to take a toll on him mentally. He’d call to talk with her and their conversations would last hours. Sometimes he’d get really emotional. Sometime he’d even cry, and her heart would break over the fact that he was feeling this way and she couldn’t be there to comfort him. He admitted to her long before he said it in the media that he’d felt like he lost the love of the game multiple times throughout the season. He didn’t need to say it in the media for her to know.

The most heartbreaking moment for Whitney came during a rainy night in Buffalo. It was her last night staying with Ryan until he had to leave for a whopping 14-day road trip with the team. He’d been grasping on to her the whole last day, as if she’d float away back to Toronto without saying goodbye. When they were cuddled in bed together, just kissing, she could feel fresh tears roll down his cheeks.

“What’s wrong, Snook?”

“What’s wrong with me, Whit? Why can’t I win? I—”

“Snook, you can’t put that pressure on yourself. The team doesn’t start and end with you—”

“First with Colorado, now with Buffalo…everywhere I go I feel like a cancer.”

Whitney remembered having a sick feeling in her stomach as Ryan said those words. She remembered wiping his tears away with her thumbs and with her kisses, begging him to realize he was worth so much more than what he thought. She remembered telling him over and over how much she loved him, hoping that it would calm him down, but it didn’t help much. He was too far into his own head. The next morning, as he showered and finished his packing, Whitney was scared to let go of him. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want him to be away from her when he was so vulnerable. She made him promise to call her every day, even though they already spoke every day through text.

He kept his promise.

That summer, Ryan was traded to St. Louis. On the one hand, Whitney was sad because he wasn’t close anymore. There was no way she could just drive to see him so often now. On the other hand, she was happy he was traded out of a situation that made him lose his love of the game. She still visited him in St. Louis, but much less often. They still got up to their fun.

She parked in the same spot as she always did, and navigated the Keybank Centre like the back of her hand. She joined the legion of Leafs fans watching the warm-ups, getting as close to the glass as possible. She wasn’t wearing a Leafs jersey, so realistically, she’d stick out like a sore thumb. Despite her family being Leafs fans, she only ever wore Ryan’s jerseys.

Ryan saw her during warm up. Whitney knew he did because there was a cute little smile on his face for a few minutes, and there was a cute little smile on her face for a few minutes, watching him out there in a Leafs jersey shooting pucks and skating around. The days when her mother would haul her to arenas for Gareth and Ryan’s hockey games were long over, but the dream was alive for him: he was a Stanley Cup Champion. He was a Conn Smythe winner. And now he was a Toronto Maple Leaf. She only wished Gareth was here to see it all in person, even though she knew he was watching from above.

As she went to her seat after warm ups, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

You look beautiful.

She couldn’t help but smile.

Focus on the game you pervert.

She eventually took her seat, only about ten rows up from the ice. Barely four minutes into the game, she got her first gift: Ryan scored his first goal as a Toronto Maple Leaf. The only other time she thought she was as loud was when he won the Stanley Cup. A grand total of thirty-seven seconds later, he scored again.

Whitney knew she was going to be in for a hell of a game.

When he finished his hat trick at the end of the game, she cried a little. It was made all the more emotional by the fact they were in Buffalo – she had to admit that. But once the buzzer rang, and the Leafs won 6-3, she pulled out her phone instinctively, just as she had countless times before.

Leaving now. If you get home before me let yourself in. I’m so happy for you. And I’m so fucking excited for later.

It was when she got to her car that she received a reply. She thought he probably had to handle some post-game press which is why it took him so long.

That was for you. And you better be fucking excited.

***

At just before midnight, Whitney and Ryan’s lips crashed against one another’s in the privacy of her home. Their kisses were frantic, their hands, too. They almost knocked down the vase at the front entrance, and almost tripped going up the stairs to. But when they finally got to her bedroom, Whitney pushed Ryan to sit down on the edge of her bed. He watched as she dropped down to her knees in front of him.

She unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down expertly. She knew how to get into every pair of pants he wore. “You like what you see, Snook?”

“You know the answer to that,” he said, helping her wiggle his pants off of him. “You always look so pretty when you’re on your knees for me.” He brought his hands forward to cup her face, guiding her up slightly so he could place another sloppy kiss on her lips. “All that tonight was for you, baby,” he told her.

“You don’t have to butter me up Snook, I’m gonna suck your dick regardless.”

Ryan let out a chuckle. When he felt her hand over his growing length, he groaned slightly. He kissed her again. “You’re sweetness. That’s what you are, Whit. Sweetness.”

That was a nickname he had called her time and time again. And not just in bed. In the morning, when they would make coffee together; at dinner, when he was pouring her a glass of wine; when she was on the couch and he was in the kitchen as he would ask if she wanted more popcorn. The first time he called her that, they were still teens, and he was still using it to this day. Snook and Sweetness.

Whitney bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know if you should be calling me sweetness before what we’re going to do.” Ryan could feel his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he watched her free his dick from his underwear. She stroked him a few times before giving him one last look. “You wanna come down my throat?” she asked.

He nodded.

She licked the underside of his cock, causing him to hiss. She placed a few kisses along his head before she began sucking, only lightly, teasing him into oblivion. When she was satisfied with the number of curse words that left his mouth, without warning, she took more of his cock into her mouth. He leaned his head back in pleasure, and when he felt her take even more, a new string of expletives left his mouth. “God Whit, you’re so fucking good.”

She hummed in response, the vibration allowing for a new sensation. He could feel her swirl her tongue as he watched her bob her head up and down his shaft, taking more and more into his mouth with each passing moment. He pushed her hair out of her face and gathered it in his hands. He watched with eyes wide as she took all of him down her throat. He felt the back of her throat with the tip of his cock and grunted. She took him like that a few more times, with his help, his chest heaving up and down.

“Whit—”

“Hmmm?”

“Gimme your fingers.”

Whitney brought one of her hands up. Ryan grabbed it and brought it towards his mouth, sucking her index and middle fingers. He took them out of his mouth but kept them close, spitting on them before looking at her. “Touch yourself.”

Whitney whimpered at the command and did what she was told, sticking her hand down her underwear and placing them directly on her already wet pussy. She touched herself for a while as she kept taking Ryan’s cock down her throat again and again, even going so far as to spit on its head when she came back up once. Ryan couldn’t do anything else but curse, taking a while before he could finally formulate something else to say. “Look at me, Whit.”

She looked up at him with her beady eyes, popping his cock out of her mouth. “Yeah Ry?”

“You were fuckin’ made for me, you know that?” he huffed, bringing the hand that was in her hair around her face so he could wipe the spit off her lips with his thumb.

Whitney nodded quickly. “You were made for me too.”

“This pretty little mouth was made for me,” Ryan continued, “and your pretty little pussy too.”

“All for you,” Whitney agreed. “All for you.”

When Whitney continued sucking his dick, Ryan knew he was getting close. The moaning and sucking sounds definitely didn’t help, and he let Whitney know by saying it out loud. She took him all the way down to the back of her throat a few times more before Ryan bucked his hips and felt his hot cum release in her mouth and down her throat. He was gasping for air, his mouth wide open at the sensation; Whitney moaned in pleasure at the feeling and taste of him, as it had been so long since the last time. She continued to suck every last drop until she could feel his dick soften; only then did she finally stop.

Ryan pulled her up by gently tugging on her hair. His lips crashed on to hers and he pulled her body against his, falling onto the bed together. They wasted no time in removing each other of their clothes. When Whitney slid out of her underwear, Ryan got a look at how wet her pussy already was, covered in her own juices and his spit, and practically had a heart palpitation. “Come sit on my face, sweetness.”

She crawled over his body and sat on his face. He wrapped his arms around her thigs and pinned her down so she could barely move – just enough to grind if she wanted to, or if Ryan let her. It took no time at all for Ryan to start lapping at her pussy, starting with one long lick from bottom to top and sucking on her clit for good measure.

Whitney ran her hands through Ryan’s hair and gripped on to it. She knew she’d get beard burn, but she didn’t care – she wanted this to last as long as possible. Even though she was anticipating what would happen after this – all the positions they’d tangle themselves in, how many times he’d make her come, how much Ryan would leave her wanting more – the thought of Ryan between her thighs using only his tongue and lips to make her come was something she thought of way too often, especially on lonely nights when she was desperate to see him, or nights where they’d have phone sex and only her fingers could do. She had to have an active imagination because only the real thing – the real Ryan – could ever make her feel as good as he made her feel. Nothing was better than Ryan, because nothing or no-one loved her more than Ryan.

“Just like that, Ry,” she signed out, cupping her breasts in her hands and pinching at her nipples before having to grip the headboard.

“Tastes so fuckin’ sweet,” Ryan mumbled against the lips of her pussy, sucking at her clit right afterwards.

Her moans and mewls got louder. She knew her voice would be coarse tomorrow because of it – and he hadn’t even made her scream yet. That was still coming. She couldn’t help but tug on his hair and make him moan in the process. When she began grinding on his face slightly, she could feel his hands grip at her hips and help guide her – she knew she’d have marks there tomorrow, but she didn’t care.

After a while, when Whitney couldn’t hold it in any longer, she cried out his name over and over again as she came on his face, her entire body shaking on top of him. The only reason why she didn’t completely collapse was the headboard and Ryan’s strong hands. Eventually she shifted her body down, so she could see Ryan’s face, only to see that it was wet and covered in her juices.

“Holy fucking shit,” she blurted.

“I’m ready t—"

Ryan didn’t get to finish his sentence. Whitney acted fast, crashing her lips onto his so she could taste herself on his face. “Holy fuck,” she mumbled in between kisses.

“See how good you taste? How sweet?” Ryan mumbled in between kisses. “I could get drunk on you. I could eat you out all fucking night.”

“Tell me how you want me, Ry.”

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Whitney inhaled sharply. She did as she was told. She always did with Ryan. So did he. That’s what made everything so…nice. That’s what made everything so unbelievable. She faced away from him, but she could feel him watching her, getting a full look of how ready she was for him. When she felt him grab her hips again, she readied herself to feel his cock deep inside her pussy.

Instead, she felt Ryan’s body hover over hers. She closed her eyes, oblivious to what was going to happen next, until she could feel him placing light kisses at the back of her neck and across her shoulder blades. He was taking his time, being gentle, savouring the moment before they lost themselves into each other. “I love you, Whit,” he whispered into her ear.

“I love you too Snook,” she said.

“I’ve loved you forever.”

Whitney took another deep breath. He kissed along her ear. She turned her head so they could make eye contact. “It doesn’t feel like this with anyone else.”

“I know. It doesn’t.”

“I only ever feel like this with you, Ry. Nobody else can make me feel good like you do.”

“Same, Whit.”

There was a moment of silence between them, knowing what was about to happen. “Will you fuck me how you know I like it?” Whitney asked, her voice as sweet as how she tasted.

Ryan didn’t bother to answer. He continued his soft kisses down her spine instead, before placing a final kiss at the base of it and grabbing her hips. He could tell how giddy she was in anticipation. “Face down, ass up, sweetness.”

Whitney whimpered just at the command. In one swift movement she moved her body, and before she could say anything else, she felt Ryan’s cock teasing at her entrance. He was going to make her beg because she loved to beg, because she asked him to fuck her the way she liked it and this is how she liked to be fucked. She liked every way with him, but special moments like this deserved something special, and he was going to give it to her. When they made love, like the afternoon he arrived in Toronto…that was different. It was soft, and it was passionate, and it was the physical encapsulation of the conversation they’d just had, but what was about to happen next was anything but.

“Tell me how much you need me, sweetness.”

“I need your cock, Ry. Fill me up,” she begged.

“Beg. Beg.”

Whitney bit at her bottom lip. “Please Ry, pleeeease. I need to feel your cock inside me. I need you to fill me up. I need you so bad, Ry. I need what only you can give me.”

Ryan entered her in one swift movement, and her pussy was so slick that he slid right in and bottomed out. Whitney cried out in pleasure, and it didn’t take long for him to start pounding in and out of her, hearing her get louder and louder as he became rougher. Instinctively she would try to rise every so often, and Ryan would push her back down, making her cry out even louder for how he was controlling her pleasure. At some points, even her knees began to buckle and spread from under her, bringing her closer to the bed, and Ryan would have to pull her hips back up. He’d lost track at how many times he felt her walls tighten around his pulsating cock, lost track at how many times she cried out his name.

He pulled her hair so that her body was flush against his chest, bringing one hand around to tease her clit, and another to wrap itself at the base of her neck. He wasn’t choking her, because she didn’t like that, but this was their alternative. She brought her own hand up and placed it over his, trying as best as possible to intertwine their fingers.

“Fucking hell, Ry,” Whitney managed to get out. “Feels so fucking good.”

“D’you love it when I fuck you like this?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

“Tell me how good it feels. Use your words, sweetness.”

Whitney couldn’t believe him. She also couldn’t believe she would oblige. “You feel so fucking big,” she began, heavy breaths punctuating every thought. “You stretch me out, and my pussy…my pussy feels so full. I can’t wait until you come inside me. Can you feel how wet my pussy is?”

“How many times did you come?”

“I—I don’t know. I always lose count with you.”

Ryan leaned back and took Whitney with him, so she was lying down on top of him with one hand at the base of her neck and another on her pussy, his cock still buried deep in her. “Ry—”

“Take it Whit. Take it like the good girl you are for me.”

Though he couldn’t see it, Whitney’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as Ryan pumped in and out of her in this new position, hitting an angle that was sending her even quicker over the edge than before, which she didn’t think was possible. “Ry…Ry…fuck Ry…” her nails dug into the back of his hand. Her heartbeat was out of control.

She didn’t even know how much time had passed in that position – how could she? – before she heard Ryan utter the magic words. “I’m fucking close, Whit.”

“I wanna face you when you come, Ry. Can you—”

Before she knew what was happening, he slid out of her and got on top of her. Though she whimpered at the loss of his cock inside her, he spread her legs and hiked one around his torso and entered her again. Though it felt like she had been having just one continuous orgasm for the last several minutes, she was desperate to feel him come inside her, to feel one last wave of pleasure throughout her body. They looked each other in the eye; Whitney could see a fire in his that he reserved only for her.

“Tell me how much you need me, Whit,” he huffed.

“I need you more than anything, Snook,” she told him, because it was the truth.

“Am I the only one that gets to come inside of you?” he demanded.

“Yes,” she bit her bottom lip. “You’re the only one. The only one that gets to come in pussy, because it’s all yours, Ry. All yours.”

He buried his face into the crook of her neck, thrusting into her so forcefully that she cried out his name over and over. When she felt him come inside her, she grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck. Her finally orgasm rushed throughout her entire body like a title wave, hers and Ryan’s breathing the only thing to be heard in the bedroom. His breathing was so frantic it almost sounded high-pitched, almost like he was going through an asthma attack. His face was still buried in the crook of her neck as he collapsed on top of her. When he rolled over to the side, his cock left her pussy for the first time (for more than, like, five whole damn seconds) in what felt like hours. Whitney’s body was still shivering from her orgasms. Ryan was having a hard time catching his breath.

It was a few minutes before either of them felt even 0.0001% semblance of normalcy. Ryan was the first to look over at Whitney, who was still staring up at the ceiling. “Are you okay, Whit?” he asked.

“I’m better than okay,” she whispered – it was the loudest her voice could get.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile. “Ready for round two?”

Whitney whipped her head to the side to look at him, only to see him smirking and giggling like a little school girl. “I don’t think I’ll have a voice tomorrow. I don’t even think I’m going to be able to walk tomorrow,” she chastised.

“C’mere,” he mumbled, outstretching his arm so she could roll into his body. When she was tucked into him, he placed a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you for being in Buffalo tonight.”

“It was nothing,” she said. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

“I love you, Whit.”

“I love you too, Snook.”

***

There was a long road trip coming up to the west coast. Seattle, Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, and then to New Jersey, before finally coming home again to face Edmonton during a Hockey Night in Canada. This meant that Friday was a good a time as ever for Ryan’s parents and Whitney’s parents to drive to Toronto to watch the game against Minnesota. Ryan had secured them tickets and access to the family room – as family members, of course. Whitney would have to be on her best behaviour.

They all had lunch earlier that day, before Ryan usually went down for his pre-game nap. Whitney met up with the parents at their hotel before the game, getting her friends and family pass from her mom before she walked with them to the arena. After giving their names and passes to a man named Omar, they were led to the family lounge, where there was at least half of the women Whitney assumed to be the partners of the men on the team. There weren’t any parents around, though, which Whitney thought would make them stick out like a sore thumb.

They weren’t there long before Whitney noticed a woman balancing a toddler on her hip approaching them with a big smile.

“Hello! You must be the O’Reilly family?” she asked.

“That’s us! And friends!” Brian said.

“It’s very nice to meet you. Welcome to the Toronto Maple Leafs!” she extended her free hand to shake everyone’s. “I’m Aryne Tavares, John’s wife, and this is my son Axton.”

Bonnie waved at him and he waved back. “We’re the O’Reillys,” she pointed at herself and her husband, “and these are our friends and neighbours, James and Alice Napier and their daughter Whitney. Whitney and Ryan grew up together.”

“Come take a seat, please – Ryan mentioned to John that you were all coming tonight. Can we get you any food? Whitney, follow me, you can meet some of the partners…”

It was a bit of a blur for Whitney, if only because she was meeting so many people associated with the players on the team that it was hard to keep track of them all. She met Bee McTavish, who was getting married to Morgan Rielly this summer; Aberdeen Bloom, who was with William Nylander (Whitney had read her book and had loved it); and Lusine, who was with Rasmus Sandin (Whitney didn’t think there’d be anyone younger than her present, but lo and behold). This sort of situation had happened before in Colorado and Buffalo, where things went normally, and in St. Louis, where things went a bit…differently, but Whitney was glad to say this was normal. They were all very nice, very welcoming, very talkative.

St. Louis hadn’t been like this. The first time she’d met the team, it was much less formally – at one of the guys’ raucous birthday parties she just happened to be in town for. Most of the guys were nice, albeit buzzed, but they were manageable. Jordan Binnington and his hands definitely weren’t, and he had a hard time taking no for an answer until Ryan had to step in. While that was long in the past, whenever it was brought up or remembered, Ryan still got angry about it. The anger didn’t come from a place where he though he owned Whitney or that she was his and no-one else’s – it was because Jordan was just downright disrespectful, from his words to his intentions to his actions. Ryan had been nothing but respectful to everyone his entire life, and he couldn’t fathom acting like Jordan towards anyone.

It was when Whitney emerged from the washroom during the intermission between first and second period that things got interesting. Everybody had been so nice, and then she saw Bee McTavish waving to get her attention. “Is everything okay?” Whitney asked.

“Aryne said Bonnie told her you and Ryan grew up together?” she wanted to clarify.

“Yeah,” Whitney nodded. “He’s known me since I was a baby.”

Bee looked around, over both shoulders, before she lowered her voice. “It’s Aberdeen’s birthday tomorrow, but since the boys are leaving for Seattle, we’re having her birthday party tonight,” Bee explained. “Lusine and I spent an hour decorating her place for a surprise birthday before we got here. You and Ryan should come! Get you away from your parents if you want.”

Whitney didn’t know what to say. It was the first time she was meeting everyone and they were already inviting her out? This was probably the nicest group of women she’d ever met. “Oh my God, that’s so – that’s so kind of you, but please, if this is a friends thing, please don’t feel obligated—”

“Oh my gosh, don’t even start,” Bee cut her off. “It’s nothing serious, and we would love to have you. I’m sure Ryan will love to get to know the boys even better in an informal setting, away from hockey.”

Whitney couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face. “I’ll ask him when we see them, but I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes…if only to get away from having to entertain his parents on a Friday night,” she winked.

“Boomers in the big bad city,” Bee joked.

“Nah – Brian and Bonnie are actually from Toronto. They’ll be fine. They may actually know a bar to go to.”

***

It was almost one in the morning before Ryan and Whitney called it a night at Aberdeen’s surprise “Quarter Century” birthday party. While they could have stayed longer, they promised their parents brunch at 11 the next morning before Ryan had to leave for the airport. They weren’t in for a long drive up to Summerhill, thankfully, because the second that they were in the elevator, away from the condo, Ryan grabbed Whitney’s hand.

“You know what I remembered tonight?” Whitney asked as they emerged from the parking garage.

“What’s that?”

“Remember when Binner was flirting with me?”

Ryan rolled his eyes, but not in an annoyed way – in an angry way, which – if Whitney was being honest – was the exact reason she brought it up. She wanted a little bit of heat to fester while they were in the car. “What about it?”

“Just how bad the flirting was,” she cracked a joke. “He wasn’t even being subtle about it.”

“Whit—”

“Remember how you had to talk to him and got angry with him?”

“He deserved it,” Ryan said simply. “I never got over it, by the way. I’m still angry with him about it.”

“He helped you win a Stanley Cup,” she deadpanned.

“Doesn’t matter. He disrespected you and made you feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t deserve forgiveness for making you feel that way.”

There was a moment of silence between them, with only the sound of the rubber tires moving along the road filling the void. Whitney’s hand snuck across the dash and landed on Ryan’s thigh, squeezing it gently. “You never told me what you said to him, you know.”

He moved his hand to grip her thigh. “Come on, Whit.”

“Come on, Snook,” she countered, raising her hand higher on his thigh, dangerously close to his member.

She watched as Ryan bit his tongue, and it had nothing to do with how high her hand was. She knew he was having one of his small internal battles. “I just told him to knock it off. That I didn’t like how he was treating you. You clearly weren’t interested and what bothered me was that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He told me he bet you were used to it and that’s when I kind of lost it on him. Told him that you weren’t, and that if he was gonna keep doing that, I’d knock his teeth down his throat.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. “Was that before or after he put his hands on me and pulled me in to sit on his lap?”

Okay, now Ryan was getting angry. Remembering the thought of seeing Jordan’s hands on Whitney, in places where Ryan knew only his hands had been, sent him spiralling. Pulling her onto his lap, like some kind of dog – Ryan had steam coming out of his ears that night. “I fuckin—I can’t—I think it was after,” he honestly couldn’t remember. The anger clouded his memory. “All I remember is wanting to give him a black eye. Dad always said no violence and I’ve never wanted to punch a guy until then.”

Whitney didn’t know why, but she loved hearing all of this. She loved hearing about how upset Ryan got, what he said to Jordan, everything. It wasn’t that it made her feel wanted or valued – she always did with Ryan, so that wasn’t an issue. And it wasn’t because she generally disliked Jordan – although that was a perk. But she felt herself getting hotter with each passing second. “You hated it because I belong to you, right?” she prompted, her voice low and not suggestive at all. She saw Ryan hesitate to go down this road, and more than a few moments of silence passed between them. She squeezed his thigh softly. “You can say it Ry. It’s okay.”

“I don’t think…” he hesitated again. “You don’t belong to anyone, Whitney. I don’t like that.”

“Okay,” Whitney nodded slightly, her voice sober. So she struck out on that one – that was fine. “Sorry, Snook.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sweetness.”

Another few moments of silence. Whitney noticed some recognizable shops, so she knew they were close to home. She removed her hand from his thigh and placed it over his, which was still resting comfortable in her lap. She made sure their fingers intertwined before moving it up. “Remember when we were kids and we used to getaway in your car for hours?”

Did he. Ryan could still vividly remember the first time they hooked up in his car. For years there had been such charged energy between them that Ryan didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, this was his best friend’s younger sister. On the other hand, he quite literally couldn’t keep himself away from her. And that wasn’t even mentioning the fact that they literally grew up together. It began with instances like Whitney sitting beside him on an old porch swing one night, where Ryan felt like his body was on fire. It continued to other instances, like when they were playfighting in the pool one night and Ryan couldn’t get out at the same time because…he had something to hide. Then, later that summer, Whitney and Ryan shared their first kiss. It almost didn’t happen, because Ryan was convinced Gareth would be lurking in a bush ready to kick his ass, but they were safe. From the moment he felt Whitney’s lips on his, he was a goner. He knew that there would be nothing else like it. They kissed more than a few times after that, and each one was their little secret. It progressed to Whitney and Ryan texting each other in secret. Nobody knew about the kisses. Nobody knew about the pictures she was sending him, either. Not nudes, but suggestive enough.

When Ryan came back the following summer, things were cranked up to 1000. Gareth wasn’t around as often because of his summer courses (though he was still around quite a bit), and Owen had already moved to British Columbia, which meant that unless Ryan and Gareth’s friends were around, when they were alone, Ryan and Whitney got into a lot of trouble. Kisses turned to makeout sessions – on couches, in his bed, on her bed. Then makeout sessions on couches or beds turned into makeout sessions in Ryan’s car, when they’d drive to Goderich together to watch the sunset over the lake but end up not seeing the sunset at all. Kisses and makeout sessions turned into touching, too. Lots of touching. Whitney could still remember what it felt like the first time Ryan’s hand snuck underneath her sundress and in between her legs. Ryan could still remember what it felt like the first time Whitney zipped down his pants and snuck her hand beneath his underwear.

They were supposed to be watching the sunset one night when Whitney made the suggestion that they have sex. Ryan was against it at first, coming up with any excuse he could. “You’re my best friend’s younger sister” was the obvious one. “You’re barely seventeen” was his other, more plausible excuse. Whitney didn’t care; she didn’t care that he was older and she didn’t care about his excuses. He was the safest, most natural, most responsible, most loving choice. All the boys at school were gross little perverts, and here was Ryan, who had always looked after her, who was always asking if he could stick his hand down her pants, always asking if he could grope her boobs. Most of all, she wanted it because she knew he loved her. There was no way it could be with anyone else. She wanted him so badly that it was driving her insane. But then there was a moment when Ryan looked into Whitney’s eyes and everything changed. They weren’t desperate – far from it. They weren’t even pleading. Instead, what he saw in her eyes was everything he loved about her, all the memories they shared growing up together, all the times they had each other’s back when they broke a vase or had some unexplained bruise or fed their vegetables to the Napier’s dog, Cinnamon.

And so, as the sun set over Lake Huron, in Ryan’s car, they had sex.

And they hadn’t stopped since.

“Of course I remember,” Ryan said. He made a right-hand turn onto the street. Whitney knew it would only be a minute or so until he pulled into her small driveway. “I—I always remember those times. Those were some of my favourites.”

Whitney squeezed his hand again. She was wearing pants, but when she guided Ryan’s hand between her thighs, he could feel her core. “They’re some of my favourites, too.”

“Why are they for you?” Ryan asked.

Whitney took a moment to collect her thoughts. “I—it’s gonna sound weird, Snook.”

He gave her a look from the driver’s seat. “I spit in your hand the other night and told you to touch yourself. We’re past the point of weird, sweetness.”

Whitney couldn’t help but snort. He was right, that was for damn sure. “I’ve always thought you were attractive. Like, once I hit puberty, I found myself only being attracted to you, or, like, trying to find guys that looked like you so it wasn’t you because I thought it was wrong at first. And so when we started hooking up, for me, it was a lot about the emotions, sure, but more so about, like…the physical. Like…your body, Snook. Just…your entire body is just so big and strong, and when you’d hover over me or I’d get to run my hands along your back or your chest, I just couldn’t get enough of your body. There’s always been something so visceral about your body to me. So remembering back to the first time I got to touch it…God, I could make myself come right now just thinking about it.”

Ryan stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything Whitney had to say. “For me,” he began slowly, “it’s some of my favourite memories because I—you—you were always just a ray of light. Like so many people got moody and pretentious, but you didn’t. You matured and whatever, but you still experienced joy. Every day wasn’t the end of the world for you. You saw every day as a chance to experience joy.”

Whitney was smiling. “I talk about you like a hot piece of ass, and you talk about me in the most beautiful way.”

“You were always a handsy kid,” Ryan joked. He finally turned into her driveway, parking the car and turning it off. “But your body was just as enticing, sweetness. I still remember the first time I touched you too. How your body responded immediately. Just like now,” his voice was getting lower and lower, his eyes focusing on his hand between her thighs.

Whitney leaned over the centre console first, kissing Ryan sweetly. Their lips couldn’t leave one another’s, and eventually, Whitney began climbing over to get into Ryan’s lap. He pushed his seat all the way back so they would be more comfortable. His hands immediately went underneath her top as they continued kissing, and everything felt back like it did in Goderich, on the coast of Lake Huron. From the kissing to the touching to the windows fogging up.

With Ryan’s hands over her breasts, Whitney felt overwhelmed – but in the best way. “Make love to me here, Snook. Just like we used to,” she breathed out.

“Yeah? You want it?” Ryan asked.

She nodded. “I want it. I want you, Ry.”

Somehow, Ryan helped Whitney out of her pants. Then, somehow, she pushed his down too, sticking her hand down his underwear to free his cock. His hand travelled down between her legs, teasing at her lips and causing her to moan. “You remember the first time I touched you like this?” Ryan asked. Whitney nodded her head. “You remember how you were squirming in my lap?”

“I was trying to get your fingers deeper.”

Ryan giggled. “Your entire body was shaking when I touched you.”

“Because I couldn’t believe you were,” she said. “Things I had dreamed about for so long were happening.”

Ryan pushed a finger ever-so-slightly into Whitney’s pussy, causing her to catch her breath. “What else did you dream about?”

“It—it started with you kissing me. Then I would dream about your hand or your mouth on my pussy,” she explained as they looked each other in the eye. “The first time I dreamt of us having sex, I woke up in the middle of it and I was touching myself.”

“Fuck Whit, you never told me that before.”

“Did you ever dream about me, Snook?”

“All the time,” he nodded. “Still do, sweetness.”

“What do you dream about?”

“Most of the time it’s burying my face in your sweet pussy,” he began, pushing his finger further into her. “Can I tell you a secret, sweetness?”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes, when it’s been long since we’ve seen each other, I dream about something as simple as holding your hand.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. He called her sweetness, but he was sweetness personified. He said things like that all the time, and it didn’t matter what it was, but Whitney would fall for it every time. He was so sentimental. “Make love to me Snook.”

He guided his cock to her entrance and she lowered herself on top of him, gasping at the angle that he was entering her, especially since they were so close physically. It took her a few moments to get used to the feeling. This wasn’t the first time they had hooked up in a car since they were horny teenagers, but it had definitely been a while. “You feel so good, Whit,” Ryan huffed, gripping at her hips.

“Can you do me a favour?” she asked, opening her eyes and finally focusing back on him.

“What’s that?”

“Can you kiss me here?” she asked sweetly, moving her hair out of the way and pointing to her jawline.

Ryan smiled. “Of course,” he mumbled, already moving forward to place kisses exactly where she wanted them. She grabbed onto the backrest right by his shoulders.

“And here,” she pointed to her neck, causing Ryan to move down.

She began moving in his lap, slowly, running a hand through the hair at the nape of Ryan’s neck. He moved back up to her lips and they kissed for a while, Ryan’s tongue down her throat and hands squeezing her hips. She didn’t want this to end quickly, so she didn’t move quickly, either. There was something so intimate about the moment, despite them being in the front seat of a car. Reminiscing on their memories right before this must have been the kicker. Ryan was just as gentle then as he was being now, except now they both knew what they were doing.

“Ry?” she pulled away so they could look each other in the eye.

“Hmm?”

“D’you love me?”

“Of course I love you,” he said, kissing her right afterwards. “D’you love me?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “It’s only ever been you, Ry.”

He hummed in happiness. “It’s always about you for me.”

Whitney leaned forward, giving him small, light kisses along his jawline and neck before moving up to his ear. “Tell me I’m yours, Ry.”

“You’re mine, sweetness,” he huffed into her ear. “All mine.”

“All yours,” she repeated. She didn’t belong to him – that he made clear – but she was his, and he was hers. “Look at me, Ry.”

He did. His eyes were so blue, Whitney thought that the oceans were captured in his eyes. They were always like that, but when he grew the dark beard, they somehow became even more prominent. “You’re so beautiful, sweetness,” he said. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful girl in my life.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. While fucking Ryan was out of this world, making love to Ryan was the best. While fucking felt so good, and so satisfying, and always left them wanting more, making love brought an emotional fulfillment neither could get from anyone else. “Your girl.”

“My girl,” he kissed her passionately. The windows had fogged up so much, but their pair continued kissing anyway, Whitney’s grinding in his lap giving them more and more pleasure slowly but surely.

Whitney moved to kisses along his jaw when she felt herself getting close. “I want to feel you come inside me, Ry. Will you do that for me?” she whispered.

“Anything for you, sweetness,” he tightened his grip on her hips.

She didn’t move any faster, but she could feel Ryan guiding her back and forth. They were looking into each other’s eyes the entire time as they got closer and closer to their release. It seemed as if even their breaths were in sync, huffing out laboured breaths until Whitney became louder and louder. When he came inside her, Ryan could feel her legs shake in his lap, the moans escaping her as she nestled into the crook of his neck. “Oh fuck Ry…” she didn’t know what else to say, couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Was that what you wanted, sweetness?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “It was just like when we used to sneak away to Bluewater Beach.”

Ryan smiled again, and he knew Whitney was smiling too. He slipped out of her, but they stayed embraced for a while longer before they began to feel the cold permeate the car. “Let’s go to bed, Whit.”

She sighed, knowing she’d have to get off his lap. She looked him in the eye one last time before resolving to climb off him and back into the passenger’s seat. “Will you hold me?”

“I’ll do anything you want me to,” Ryan promised.

They redressed and rushed inside, desperate not to feel the cold night air for too long. Whitney washed off her makeup and Ryan got ready for bed, lying in bed in his boxers with the blanket open until Whitney slipped in. He made sure to set his alarm for 9:30 before outstretching his arms and having Whitney cuddle in to him. Just like he promised, he held her as they fell asleep.

“I love you, Snook,” Ryan heard Whitney say, barely above a whisper, right before she fell asleep.

“I love you too, Whit,” he responded, placing a small kiss on her shoulder.

***

“She was very nice,” Bee said to Aberdeen as she helped load the dishwasher of all the glasses used for the surprise party. “She was mentioning how she and Ryan grew up together in Seaforth. She’s got two older brothers, and Ryan’s got three other siblings, and they’re all best friends.”

“That’s so nice,” Aberdeen said, slightly buzzed, trying to hide from Bee that she was going to lose her balance any minute. She gripped on to the counter top for dear life. “Did you watch them at all? See anything fishy?”

Bee furrowed her brows. “Uh…no? Why? Did you?”

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders, a playful grin playing on her face. “I don’t know what’s going on, but they’re not just friends.”

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deambulationsdelabibliothecaire · 10 months ago

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Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - Chapitres 16-17

Ceci est un Hateread du tome 10 de la saga Tara Duncan, inspiré par le long travail de Patricklemorse. Pour plus d’explications ou d’introduction, référez vous au post « Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - 0 : Dans les épisodes précédents » !

L’ensemble des extraits cités entre guillemets et en italiques appartiennent à madame Sophie Audoin-Mamikonian, que j’appellerai Madame S.A.M par facilité.

Bonjour à tous, j’espère que vous allez bien ! Les Hatereads sont de retour, un mois d’attente pour 10 minutes de lecture, j’espère que patienter vaut le coup.

La dernière fois, Robin disparaissait de prison, Selenba était retrouvée dans un drôle d’état et la délégation d’Autremonde partait pour Tadix..

Nous entamons cette fois le chapitre 16, « Le magicgang, ou comment découvrir les joies de la vie de passagers clandestins… et regretter profondément de ne pas avoir payé son billet. »

Comme je l’avais dit à la fin du dernier post, je ne suis pas giga emballée par la perspective d’un point de vue sur le magicgang, surtout que ces crétins sont en train de suivre Tara après que celle-ci leur a explicitement dit de ne pas venir. Mais bon. Je vais être brave et attaquer cette lecture de front. En plus, le chapitre a l’air plutôt court.

Let’s go.

« Hélas ! les souhaits de Tara n’allaient pas du tout être exaucés.

Cal et les autres n’étaient plus sur AutreMonde. Ils étaient déjà sur Tadix.

Dans des boules de fer géantes.

Évidées, avec des combinaisons spatiales, des pilules anti-nausées et l’impression d’être propulsés violemment dans un flipper géant où ils rebondissaient contre des bumpers toutes les deux minutes.

Bon, sans les ding ding ding, mais au milieu d’une sorte de grincement continu qui portait sur les nerfs.

Cal bénit la précaution qu’il avait prise de leur faire avaler les fameuses pilules avant de partir. »

C’est déjà un début fantastique. Là, je parle davantage de mise en forme que de ce qui est raconté : pourquoi tous ces renvois à la ligne ? Genre les trois premiers paragraphes d’accord, c’est pour renforcer l’enchaînement dramatique, je veux bien… mais poursuivre l’élan en faisant des passages courts casse complètement l’effet.

Enfin bref, ils se retrouvent dans cette situation suite au plan de Fafnir. En effet, celle-ci a proposé au magicgang de s’infiltrer dans une livraison de fer, de Hymlia vers Tadix.

Plusieurs points.

1/ Je trouve ça bizarre qu’ils vident la planète d’une grosse majorité des Tadixiens, mais n’interrompent pas les livraisons interplanétaires. Qui va s’occuper de tout ce fer, au juste, puisqu’il ne reste plus que trois mille clampins sur leur Lune ? Et qu’est-ce qu’ils en ont à foutre d’avoir du fer, c’est pas vraiment la priorité, non ?

2/ Par conséquent, si cette livraison est faite, c’est probablement que les nains ne sont pas au courant des plans de l’Impératrice. Logique, les livreurs nains ne feraient sans doute pas leur service s’ils se savaient en danger de mort, ou bien les chefs nains interrompraient le service le temps que tout revienne à la normale. Ce que je conçois, mais... question que je n’ai pas posée jusque-là : si Lisbeth fait imploser la planète, qu’est-ce qu’il va se passer ? Commercialement, les nains ne vont-ils pas perdre beaucoup de bénéfices, tout ça pour l’évincement de quelques démons ? Est-ce qu’ils vont vraiment n’en avoir rien à faire de ne pas avoir été consultés à ce sujet ? Est-ce qu’il vont n’en avoir rien à faire moralement, d’ailleurs ? Si Tadix est détruite, ou si on apprend que Lisbeth avait statué sur la possibilité de la détruire, les autres peuples ne devraient-ils pas s’inquiéter des réfugiés Tadixiens, en les repoussant, en s’inquiétant de la question des logements, ou en les plaignant de leur sort ? Ne vont-ils pas se voir comme des victimes potentielles des décisions arbitraires de Lisbeth ? Tout ça, sans compter que la fille de la Reine des nains s’est embarquée là-dedans et risque aussi sa peau. Si les nains et a fortiori les autres peuples étaient écrits correctement, ce genre de truc aurait des conséquences et a minima des opposants. L’arrivée d’un million de personnes, ça a un impact.

Tenez, un exemple : prenons Wakfu, une série d’animation française. Au début de la saison 2, un représentant du peuple Eliatrope, une vieille civilisation longtemps disparue et dont personne n’avait connaissance jusque-là, refait surface. Au cours d’un conseil avec les rois et reines des différents peuples, mais également avec les représentants de deux cités majeures du monde (Bonta et Brâkmar), il annonce l’arrivée prochaine de plusieurs dizaines de milliers d’enfants Eliatropes. Cette annonce crée tout un débat, des inquiétudes, des suggestions, des refus dans le conseil… C’est traité en un épisode, et je déplore qu’il soit très court et que les représentants des peuples soient globalement très caricaturaux, comme dans Tara Duncan, mais la question est au moins mise sur la table. De plus, Wakfu reste une série pour enfants, là où Tara Duncan est pour les ados.

3/ Le plan du magicgang consiste à s’incruster par surprise à une réception où ils ne sont pas invités, dans le but de protéger Tara. Sauf que si les démons voient arriver Tara seule, ils trouveront plausible qu’elle soit là pour négocier diplomatiquement. Ça donne une meilleure garantie que les choses ne dérapent pas et qu’elle ne soit pas contrainte à faire péter Tadix. Mais cette bande de clampins connus pour sauver les peuples et se battre contre les méchants ne va-t-elle pas attirer l’attention ? D’autant que s’il y a Cal parmi eux, il risque de contrarier tout possible mariage, et même si Archange n’est probablement pas le meilleur parti que pourrait avoir Tara, on est sur des considérations pratiques, là. En gros, ils vont tout foutre en l’air pour rien, Tara a raison.

Que je suis jouasse de lire un point de vue où ils vont probablement étaler leur connerie et garder leurs statuts de héros parfaits malgré ça.

« Le seul souci de ce plan génial (aha, « le seul »), c’était qu’ils pensaient que le stock de fer serait entreposé sous un dôme. Et que là, clairement, ce n’était pas le cas, car lorsque Cal avait prudemment testé l’atmosphère au dehors à l’aide du petit capteur de particules qu’il avait fixé à l’extérieur de sa boule, il avait découvert que l’air était totalement toxique (je sais pas depuis quand Cal a un capteur à particules, mais il aurait pu penser à le sortir AVANT de s’embarquer à l’aveugle dans une mission où ils vont risquer leurs peaux. Putain, ce serait si bien si l’un d’eux mourrait à cause de leurs idioties, pour changer...).

[...] L’embarquement avait pourtant été étonnamment facile. À la grande surprise de Moineau, Fabrice et Cal qui s’apprêtaient à s’introduire secrètement dans l’entrepôt des nains à Hymlia, Fafnir ne s’était pas du tout cachée. (allez bam, nouveau problème qu’on peut ajouter à la pile de ceux que pose cette expédition) Elle s’était juste plantée devant le responsable, lui avait calmement expliqué qu’elle devait partir sur Tadix et avait l’intention de le faire à l’aide de quatre boules qu’ils avaient préparées au préalable, strictement identiques aux deux cents autres de la commande, sauf qu’elles étaient creuses, tout en tapotant les manches de ses deux haches. (Ooooh, ça faisait longtemps que je n’avais pas eu de phrase laide !! Une phrase, cinq lignes, quatre virgules, et des morceaux n’importe où ! Pour la reformulation : « Elle s’était juste plantée devant le responsable, et lui avait expliqué qu’ils devaient partir sur Tadix. Que pour ce faire elle emploierait quatre boules préalablement creusées, mais autrement strictement identiques aux deux cents autres de la commande. Elle avait exposé tout ça d’une voix inhabituellement calme, tapotant les manches de ses deux haches. ». Bon, c’est pas des plus jolis, mais franchement la phrase me donnait pas grand-chose sur quoi travailler)

Le responsable était un nain raisonnable. Si la très inflammable Dame Fafnir disait qu’elle voulait aller quelque part, Dame Fafnir y allait. Il n’avait donc émis aucun commentaire, au grand désappointement de Cal qui pensait que cela serait nettement plus animé et dangereux que cela »

Ptdr j’adore quand une princesse impose un sentiment de terreur à l’aide de sa tendance à maltraiter des gens. Et quand ils auront décollé, qu’est-ce qui retiendra ce responsable d’avertir Bellir, la mère de Fafnir, de ce qu’elle a fait ? Ah oui, et Cal trouve tout ça divertissant et est déçu qu’ils n’aient pas à se mettre à quatre contre un type qui fait simplement son métier. On est toujours chez les héros... ?

Cal songe qu’ils s’embêtent pour rien car techniquement, ils auraient pu suivre Tara directement, Lisbeth ne l’avait pas interdit. Sauf qu’il se dit juste après que non, car l’Impératrice n’aurait pas permis à deux princesses ou au nouveau petit copain de sa nièce de venir.

« En revanche, si effectivement Lisbeth ne s’était pas préoccupée d’eux, Tara, elle, avait fait envoyer une note à Hymlia, prévenant que toute expédition vers Tadix devait être stoppée jusqu’à la fin des marchandages avec les démons. Ce qui apparemment n’avait fait ni chaud ni froid aux nains qui estimaient qu’ils n’avaient pas à obéir à Omois, non, mais alors, et puis quoi encore… »

Je sais pas si je suis le plus agacée par la caractéristique arbitraire des nains, qui sont trop têtus pour prendre en compte un avertissement de l’Héritière d’un Empire, ou par Lisbeth et Tara qui ne jouent pas cash avec qui que ce soit. Si seulement ça pouvait retomber sur le coin de la gueule d’Omois, si seulement la gravité des choses avait un vrai impact, mon Dieu…

La troupe de branquignoles finit par arriver sur Tadix, mais se retrouve face à un autre problème : ils sont à l’extérieur des dômes de sécurité, et se font attaquer par des insectes géants qui prennent leurs sphères pour des coquilles renfermant à manger. Bon, le suspense ne dure pas : quelques lignes après, le magicgang est sauvé par des machines qui embarquent les sphères (où ils sont cachés) vers l’un des dômes. Les sphères sont décontaminées des insectes, Fafnir s’extasie sur le produit utilisé, c’est pal-pi-tant.

« — Bon, j’espère qu’ils vont nous stocker sous atmosphère respirable, soupira Moineau, fatiguée de se faire trimbaler à droite et à gauche, maintenant qu’ils nous ont débarrassés des bestioles (le “maintenant qu’ils nous ont débarrassés des bestioles” devrait être avant la didascalie), parce que nous devons trouver rapidement l’endroit où est Tara !

— Sauf que, fit très raisonnablement Fabrice, si on débarque trop tôt, elle va trouver toutes les excuses pour nous renvoyer, vous avez vu ? Elle a même pensé à envoyer un message à tes compatriotes, Fafnir, pour nous empêcher de la rejoindre. D’habitude, elle est plutôt contente que nous nous battions avec elle, c’est la première fois qu’elle réagit comme ça. (Et vous ne le prenez pas en compte, parce que... ?)

— Pfff, fit Moineau, je t’assure, cette manie qu’elle a de vouloir tout porter sur ses épaules, c’est à cause de sa magie. Si elle était moins puissante, Tara serait beaucoup plus prudente. Mais chaque fois, elle lui sauve la mise. Enfin sauf la fois où elle est morte. Mais du coup, elle n’a plus peur de mourir non plus, je pense que ça la rend imprudente. (Ce raisonnement est très confus. Donc Tara serait plus prudente avec sa magie si elle en avait moins, aka si elle était moins dangereuse ? Enfin, je comprends la logique, là on aborde la question de l’ivresse de pouvoir et de se laisser aveugler par ce dernier, mais ça me semble une mauvaise analyse de Tara. Cette dernière passe son temps à décréter qu’elle n’aime pas la magie, la sienne en particulier, ni sa puissance, même si elle s’en sert. Les livres passent leur temps à nous décrire que Tara est celle à écouter, qu’elle a raison, à la présenter donc comme une figure raisonnable. Et d’un coup, Moineau, une des personnes qui l’aiment et l’admirent le plus, estime qu’elle fait n’importe quoi de son pouvoir ? Si cette contradiction était un peu travaillée dans les livres, y aurait beaucoup de choses intéressantes à en tirer et Tara pourrait être vue comme un personnage complexe. Mais pour ça, il faudrait déjà que la narration ne se mette pas constamment de son côté)

— À moins, maugréa Cal, qu’elle ne veuille pas de m… de nous, parce qu’elle veut vraiment épouser Archange.

Un silence choqué salua sa remarque. »

Aaaah, enfin une bonne remarque ! Non, pas au sens que Tara voudrait épouser Archange premier degré, mais qu’en tout cas Tara a une volonté propre et que ses amis ne devraient pas intercéder alors qu’elle leur a dit de ne pas le faire. Mais encore une fois, cher petit génie du groupe, ç’aurait été intéressant de lancer les réserves que tu éprouves avant que vous vous engagiez dans cette mission.

Crétin.

Mais la bande n’a pas le temps de réfléchir sur tout ça, car ils se rendent compte avec terreur que leurs capsules se dirigent tout droit vers de la lave !! “De la lave en fusion”, nous précise obligeamment l’autrice, moi qui pensais que c’était de la lave cuite à point. Le stock de fer y est jeté, et le chapitre s’achève tandis que leurs quatre boules sont lâchées vers leur mort certaine.

Chapitre suivant !

“Chapitre 17 : Le sauvetage, ou comment avoir une soudaine et très grosse envie de glace.”

Le chapitre s’ouvre sur Tara, qui songe que ah là là, heureusement qu’elle a réussi à arrêter l’expédition de ses amis ! L’ironie dramatique est un poil trop forcée à mon goût, mais bon qu’importe. Elle s’inquiète de l’absence de nouvelles concernant Robin, et trouve perturbant que tout le monde autour d’elle semble aussi détendu alors que la situation part à vau-l'eau. Je la comprends.

Et on a droit à une évocation des âmes démoniaques, prisonnières des objets qu’elle porte toujours !

“En quelques semaines de travail approfondi avec les âmes, il semblait que Tara ait réussi à les transformer afin qu’elles ne tuent plus rageusement tout ce qui passait à leur portée. Alors qu’avant, les âmes se débattaient dans le fer corrompu, rendues folles par la douleur et la pression, Tara sentait que si elles souffraient toujours, ce qui était le but des démons, elles passaient outre la douleur afin de ne se concentrer que sur leur nouvel environnement. Comme si cela leur permettait de s’ancrer dans la réalité. C’était très troublant.”

Vous savez, j’ai beaucoup de sympathie pour ces âmes. Le fait qu’elles aient rejoint le camp des gentils et fassent des progrès inespérés les rend bien plus complexes et intéressantes qu’une bonne partie des personnages de la série. J'espère qu’elles ne finiront pas bêtement, et qu’elles ne trahiront pas Tara. Cela dit je ne suis pas autant opposée à la deuxième hypothèse qu’à la première, même si j’apprécie bien ces êtres dans le camp des gentils. On verra ce qui se passera.

Sur ce, Tara entend Lisbeth parler avec une voix irritée.

“Lisbeth venait de découvrir que les Tadixiens avaient négligé d’informer un certain nombre de leurs propres invités du léger détail à propos de leur planète transformée en bombe. Notamment, ils avaient organisé un énorme concert en l’honneur des démons et plusieurs divas, compagnies de danse, théâtre, orchestres, etc., étaient arrivées sur Tadix. (Hein.)

L’Impératrice n’était pas contente. Elle le fit clairement savoir, mais les Tadixiens firent la sourde oreille. Tara constata pour la dixième fois que les exaspérantes créatures devenaient très opportunément sourdes lorsqu’on disait quelque chose qui ne leur plaisait pas. (ah, donc maintenant les Tadixiens sont exaspérants, alors qu’ils étaient décrits comme des êtres fascinants et stylés jusque-là ? Je vois déjà où ça va ptdr, je déteste.)

L’Impératrice perdit. Le concert et ses réceptions annexes auraient lieu qu’elle le veuille ou non. Les Tadixiens étaient chez eux, ils faisaient ce qu’ils voulaient, d’autant que tout ce qui se passait sur Tadix pendant les six jours de réception était retransmis dans tout l’univers et que si personne ne les tuait, ils n’allaient pas passer à côté de cette formidable occasion gratuite de faire de la pub pour leur planète.”

Dites voir, suis-je la seule pour laquelle l’écriture de ce passage donne l’air de détourner la faute ? “Oui en fait les Tadixiens sont tous cons et inconscients, aucun membre du gouvernement étant informés de l’implosion potentielle de la planète n’en a quoi que ce soit à foutre d’inviter des gens qui vont crever”. Alors primo, en soi ce n’est pas absurde de médiatiser l’événement ni d’en faire une fête, ça pourra détourner l’attention des démons du fait qu’il y a vachement peu de gens sur la planète. Secundo, je ne me remets pas du qualificatif qui généralise les Tadixiens comme “exaspérants”. Entre ça et le fait que, contrairement aux autres races, aucun Tadixien ne se démarque comme différant des autres, ayant un nom ou un caractère particulier, ça les “déshumanise” beaucoup (façon de parler). C’est comme l’histoire des nains qui refusent d’écouter Tara parce qu’ils ne veulent pas se laisser dicter leurs actions par Omois : ils sont tous pareils, aucune personne ne ressort parmi eux comme ayant un avis différent, plus nuancé, voire opposé. Tertio : vous le sentez, le “Lisbeth avait essayé de les raisonner pour sauver des gens et personne n’a écouté, ce n’est pas de sa faute à elle :(", alors que c’est elle qui veut faire péter la planète pour se débarrasser des démons ??

Je disais à un moment de cette critique que les personnages figurants et les peuples n’avaient qu’une fonction, mais là, c’est le bouquet. Toute la faute est rejetée en substance sur les Tadixiens alors qu’ils sont, pour la majorité, obligés d’aller sur Autremonde et de quitter leur planète natale. Pire : on leur crée une situation artificielle où ils choisissent de faire courir un risque insensé à des innocents, et ils n’en ont rien à foutre, tout ça pour quoi ? Les complexifier ? Donner l’impression qu’ils ont mérité leur sort ? Ou qu’ils se vengent ?

Et puis c’est qui, “les Tadixiens” dont on parle, là ? Le gouvernement de la planète ? Leurs chefs ? Chacun d’entre eux, interrogé individuellement ? “Lisbeth venait de découvrir que les Tadixiens avaient négligé d’informer un certain nombre de leurs propres invités du léger détail à propos de leur planète transformée en bombe” : ON PARLE DESQUELS ?

Bref, Tara observe les ambassadeurs. On précise que les centaures portent des couleurs de guerre, preuve supplémentaire que les omoisiens sont stupides et veulent tous faire péter la planète sans raison - sérieux la réception a été présentée comme une tRÊVE, bande de troufions !

“Chez les loups, qui ne pratiquaient pas la magie, les mâles étaient plus forts, du fait de leur poids et de leur physique, que les femelles. Il n’y avait donc pas de femmes loups-garous dans leur délégation (Cette explication ne justifie rien. Un poids et un physique, ça peut se changer, s’entretenir. Une louve-garou peut théoriquement être grosse, d’ailleurs, même si tout le monde semble l’oublier dans cet univers. Donc bon, flemme de ces justifications pour dire qu’il n’y a que des gars. D’ailleurs, on pourrait leur donner des armes. Tous les loups garous ne sont pas obligés de se transformer pour être dangereux. Et vu que personne ne sait cacher ses intentions belliqueuses dans la délégation, je doute que la présence d’armes fasse une différence). Lorsqu’ils avaient vu Tara, ils s’étaient tous approchés et l’avaient reniflée avec délectation. Elle était et resterait à jamais leur héroïne, celle qui les avait délivrés d’un terrible esclavage.”

Elle n’était pas la seule à le faire, Sal est celui qui a tué la Reine Rouge. Et vu que c’est son plan qui a permis de faire libérer les loups-garous, plutôt que ses actes, je ne sais pas dans quelle mesure ceux-ci connaissent Tara pour cet exploit. Mais bon, le chef de la délégation des loups-garous l’assure de leur dévotion, Tara est incroyable oh là là, bref. Passons, je vous prie.

“La conférence se termina sur les détails techniques. Si les gens présents étaient presque tous des sortceliers, c’était pour une bonne raison. Et si Tara était là, c’était non seulement parce qu’elle était la « fiancée » officielle, mais aussi parce qu’elle allait devoir mettre son puissant pouvoir en résonance avec celui des autres afin de faire venir la délégation des démons.

En entier si possible.

Ils avaient d’ailleurs aussi discuté de cette option, surtout les dragons. « Une regrettable erreur en cours de translation. Ooppps, y a que la moitié de la délégation qui est arrivée. Euh non, pas la moitié du groupe, mais la moitié des gens, la moitié inférieure des gens en fait. Toutes nos excuses. On vous renvoie les jambes dès que possible. »

Bien sûr, cette passionnante option avait été écartée.”

Je serais de mauvaise foi si je disais que ce tome n’avait pas ses bons moments. C’en est un, indubitablement. Je veux encore plus de cet aspect des dragons, s’il vous plaît. Ce côté petty de « non mais venez on les tue "accidentellement" c’est pas grave », c’est vraiment drôle.

On nous explique que les démons ont très rarement été invoqués, car les invocations réussissent rarement et drainent les années de vie de l’invocateur.

Ensuite, il s’avère que les dragons, dont Chem (immense tas de merde), sont arrivés avant les démons, contrairement à ce qui était prévu. Lisbeth n’est pas contente, c’est d’un triste à quel point l’Impératrice d’Omois ne fait pas respecter son autorité. A la grande surprise de Tara, Jeremy et Jordan, le frère de Jeremy, sont également présents. Jordan est un Non-Manipulable, insensible à la magie, et Tara comprend à sa présence que d’autres nonsos sont là, et que ce sont sans doute aussi des Non Manipulables.

“Tara comprit le raisonnement des AutreMondiens. Ils avaient réuni ici les seules personnes capables de résister sans dommage à la magie démoniaque. Sauf que c’était un pari risqué. En fait, ils n’en savaient rien, et contre les démons, sans aucun pouvoir, les pauvres nonsos seraient singulièrement démunis.

Puis Tara détailla les NM et réalisa qu’ils étaient tous très lourdement armés. Ah. Pas si sans défense que cela après tout…”

Donc encore une fois, la discrétion est de mise. J’avais raison, l’absence de toute louve-garou sur place c’est seulement du machisme, en fait. Vos décisions à prudence variable, vous pouvez les garder pour vous.

“Jeremy la salua discrètement. Bien. Le jeune dandy avait au moins appris les bonnes manières. Tara avait peu d’affinités avec lui. Il était très immature et après avoir été élevé dans une ferme anglaise, loin de tout, se retrouver sur Autre-Monde, héritier riche et fêté, lui avait tourné la tête.

Soudain, le mot lui sauta aux yeux. Héritier. Moineau avait dit qu’elle était « piégée », le mot était revenu plusieurs fois dans ses phrases décousues. Mais piégée par Jeremy ou par quelque chose de plus grave ? Par un héritage ? Qui pourrait être intéressant pour le Lancovit ? Tara connaissait bien le roi. Même s’il était débonnaire et plutôt gentil, il restait le roi. Les intérêts de sa patrie avant celui des individus. Hum, elle allait devoir poser quelques questions. Aussi, bien qu’elle ne l’aime pas beaucoup, répondit-elle gracieusement au salut de Jeremy par un sourire amical.”

Jeremy était auparavant un personnage faisant partie des “gentils”, pour rappel. Il semble que Plm avait raison, et que madame S.A.M. ait réellement décidé de saborder le personnage en l’antagonisant. Je dois dire que c’est pénible, à la fois pour Moineau, qui se ramasse une situation néfaste sortant de nulle part, et pour le personnage de Jeremy, qui perd toute une ligne de potentiel.

Angelica est évoquée, seulement pour indiquer qu’elle est en train de baver sur Jordan. Pas un mot sur le fait qu’on l’a lancée dans une mission suicide, pas d’évocation d’autres émotions normales à ressentir dans ce contexte, d’ailleurs j’ignore si elle est au courant de ce qu’elle encoure. Que ça me gave. Les personnages de peste ont pourtant souvent des arcs d’évolution intéressants, mais Angelica a clairement l’air de garder la voie de la rivale méchante qui ne changera jamais. Et puis, Tara ne s’inquiète pas de savoir qu’Angelica pourrait mourir ? Ça ne lui attire pas un semblant de sympathie, de sentiments conflictuels ?

“Lorsqu’elle était descendue, elle avait entendu les Tadixiens révéler qu’ils enfonçaient méticuleusement des milliers de tonnes de fer dans leur noyau en fusion afin d’alourdir la planète. Vu l’investissement que cela représentait, Tara ne voulait même pas imaginer la quantité dont ils auraient besoin juste pour gagner quelques grammes de pression magnétique. (Est-ce que ça marche comme ça ? Je me rends compte que je n’ai aucune idée de si ça marche comme ça. Si quelqu’un saurait m’éclairer. Je n’ai jamais entendu parler d’un tel concept, en tout cas, ça sonne très stupide)

Aussi sursauta-t-elle au point d’attirer le regard surpris des gens sur elle lorsque Galant lui envoya une image affolée. Belzebuth venait de lui envoyer un message désespéré, de familier à familier.

Ses amis étaient sur le point de se faire rôtir dans un magma de feu !”

Wwwwwait. Depuis quand les Familiers peuvent s’interpeller mentalement ? Pourquoi Belzébuth ne l’a pas fait pour supplier Galant d’intervenir quand, au hasard, Fafnir tombait dans le vide après l’explosion du soleil, dans le tome précédent ? Pourquoi ça ne leur a jamais servi avant ?

Mais bon, ouvrez le champagne : des Familiers ont été un peu utiles, pas seulement décoratifs, yay !!

Ah, et Belzébuth fait indéniablement partie de mes personnages préférés de l’histoire, en toute sincérité. C’est le Familier le plus attachant depuis Barune. C’est peu dire puisque les autres sont des sacs à main.

On a une coupure superficielle, Tara fige tout avec sa magie et se précipite pour aller aider ses amis. Dans une chouette scène de tension, Tara se retrouve face aux sphères immobilisées, et réalise qu’elle va devoir y aller habilement pour les récupérer avant qu’elles tombent dans la lave. Le problème étant que la magie de Tara est très capricieuse et difficilement contrôlable, d’autant qu’elle a donné son sang à Cal plus tôt, ce qui l’affaiblit.

Heureusement, Tara parvient à geler la lave, et ses amis se précipitent en sûreté avec plus ou moins de difficulté.

« Tara, le visage sévère, ne montra pas son amusement, tandis que ses amis faisaient disparaître leurs combinaisons.

Ce n’était pas cool du tout qu’ils soient là. Même si pour une fois, c’était elle qui les sauvait et pas le contraire. […]

— Qu’est-ce que vous n’avez pas compris lorsque je vous ai dit : « Ne me suivez pas sur Tadix » ! gronda Tara. Ça me paraissait pourtant très clair comme phrase, à moi ! (merci, Tara, tu ne me l’entendras pas dire souvent, mais tu as parfaitement raison) Et Robin n’est pas avec vous ?

Cal se renfrogna.

— Non, aucune nouvelle, répondit-il sèchement. (Cal, petit génie de la bande, qui ne saisit pas que c’est tout sauf le moment de faire preuve de jalousie. Tara s’inquiète de ce qu’est devenu l’un de ses amis après avoir disparu de la cellule où il était enfermé, de quel droit tu réagis sèchement, au juste ?)

— Et pour répondre à ton autre question, on avait bien compris, mais on ne pouvait pas te laisser avec tous ces jolis garçons toute seule ! précisa Fafnir en rajustant ses haches un peu ébranlées par sa course folle, tandis que Bel miaulait avec mauvaise humeur sur son épaule, tout couvert de suie. »

Fafnir, je te déteste, je crois.

Et à la place de Tara, j’utiliserais mon pouvoir pour la retéléporter sur Autremonde, par simple mouvement d’humeur. Ce serait amoral mais franchement compréhensible.

« — Des jolis garçons ? Bon sang, Fafnir, ce sont des démons ! Vous ne pouvez pas plus vous opposer à eux que moi à la Reine Noire. Vous n’avez rien à faire ici ! (c’est un début, on va dire)

— C’est une mauvaise comparaison, persifla Moineau, puisque tu as vaincu la Reine Noire. Écoute, nous avons compris, tu ne voulais pas de nous et blablabla. Mais nous sommes là et si tu veux nous faire repasser par les Portes de transfert, il va falloir que tu nous arrêtes et que tu nous réexpédies de force. Et je te rappelle que je suis quand même citoyenne du Lancovit tout comme Cal, Fafnir appartient à Hymlia et Fabrice est terrien. Tu n’as légalement aucun droit de nous donner des ordres, nous ne sommes pas tes sujets, TON ALTESSE !

Tara en resta bouche bée. C’était exactement ce qu’elle avait eu l’intention de faire, tous les envelopper dans un cocon et les balancer dans une Porte de transfert. Mais où était passée la très timide Moineau qui bégayait dès qu’elle était le centre d’attention ? Cette Moineau-là ne se laissait pas marcher sur les pieds. Et elle opposait de solides arguments. Contre lesquels Tara ne pouvait pas grand-chose, parce que, malheureusement, Moineau avait parfaitement raison. »

Je voulais commenter au fur et à mesure, mais on va y aller par étapes :

1) Tara n’a aucunement, mais vraiment aucunement, mis en avant son statut d’Héritière d’Omois ou son autorité pour interdire à ses amis de la suivre sur Tadix. Je suis partie relire, elle n’a rien dit de cette espèce. Elle a surtout eu l’air d’en discuter avec eux comme elle le fait d’habitude, c’est à dire en se confiant à ses amis sur ses plans. L’argument de Moineau qui décrète qu’ils n’ont pas à lui obéir aurait été pertinent, si ça avait été le cas, mais là il est superflu

2) « La très timide Moineau qui bégayait », elle a disparu quand elle a fait connaissance avec Tara, elle se contente de refaire surface au bon vouloir de l’autrice, mais c’est tout. Faut arrêter de la chercher, à un moment donné, hein.

3) « Et elle opposait de solides arguments. »

Les solides arguments en question : « t’es pas ma reineuh d’abord et si tu veux que je m’en aille bah t’as qu’à y aller par la force ! »

4) « Contre lesquels Tara ne pouvait pas grand-chose, parce que, malheureusement, Moineau avait parfaitement raison. » Non, elle a pas raison, non. En sa qualité d’amie, Tara n’a aucune raison de mettre des vies inutilement en danger ; en sa qualité d’Héritière, c’est sa responsabilité de limiter les dégâts, donc les victimes collatérales c’est inutile ; en sa qualité de future fiancée d’Archange (potentiellement), rameuter un groupe connu pour se battre n’est pas une bonne idée non plus. Rep à ça, Moineau.

« — Et ne nous demande pas de rentrer par amitié pour toi. Des amis ne laissent pas tomber leurs amis. N’y compte pas.

— Slurk, jura Tara, vaincue. Vous ne me facilitez pas la tâche, mais je ne vais pas employer ma magie contre vous. (Cal se détendit, parce que oui, il avait pensé à cette option-là et il était soulagé que Tara ne l’utilise pas.) (… donc l’Héritière subtile qui est devenue très tordue car habituée à la politique et à faire des trucs limites se laisse vraiment défaire par quatre péquenots dotés d’argument en carton, dont une qui bave littéralement sur les « ennemis » ? Charmant) Parce que je vais avoir besoin de toutes mes forces tout à l’heure. Alors, allez m’attendre dans ma suite. Cela me donnera le délai nécessaire pour assister à la fin de la cérémonie, sans affoler tout le monde (elle leur remit un plan du dôme afin qu’ils puissent s’y rendre facilement). »

Je déteste le magicgang. Sauf Fabrice, parce qu’au moins Fabrice n’a pas encore ramené sa fraise dans cette histoire pour sortir des arguments pétés ou avoir une réaction inappropriée. D’ailleurs, Fabrice, content de t’embarquer avec tes potes dans une mission dont tu ne reviendras peut-être pas ?

« Fabrice aurait dû rester sur Terre » : 2

Tara est rejointe par la délégation, qu’elle a libérée de sa magie entre-temps. Personne ne la croit quand elle explique ce qu’il s’est passé, à l’exception de Grr’ul et Lisbeth.

Elle retourne vers sa suite, devant laquelle elle trouve Angelica. Ah ? Peut-être un peu de développement ?

Angelica a à parler à Tara, et refuse de le faire devant les Tadixiens qui l’accompagnent. Tara affirme qu'elle n'a rien à cacher, et par orgueil, Angelica s’en va.

…

peut-être pour la prochaine fois, hein.

Tara demande à Grr’ul de veiller à ce que personne ne la dérange, et elle rentre dans sa suite, mais à sa surprise, n’y trouve pas ses amis !

Le chapitre se termine ainsi. Dans l’ensemble, ces deux chapitres n’étaient pas affreux, simplement ennuyeux. La prochaine fois, on parlera d’Archange, et peut-être même que ce bougre aux nuances de vert dans les yeux pointera le bout de son nez.

D’ici là, portez-vous bien !

#tara duncan #tara duncan 10 #french #tara duncan critique #upthebaguette #français #book criticism #book critique #critique livre #dragons contre démons

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cielrouge · 5 years ago

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2019 YA Reads by Authors of Color

96 Words for Love by Rachel Roy - While exploring her grandmother's past at an ashram in India with her cousin Anandi, Raya finds herself and, perhaps, true love in this modern retelling of the legend of Dushyanta and Shakuntala.

After the Fall by E.C. Myers - A year after the destruction of Beacon Academy, Team CFVY answers a distress call and are forced to relive their former battles, from both the fall of Beacon and from everything that came before.

All-American Muslim Girl by Nadine Jolie Courtney - Allie Abraham has it all going for her—she's a straight-A student, with good friends and a close-knit family, and she's dating cute, popular, and sweet Wells Henderson. Only one problem: Wells's father is Jack Henderson, America's most famous conservative shock jock...and Allie hasn't told Wells that her family is Muslim.

All the Things We Never Said by Yasmin Rahman - 16-year-old Mehreen Miah's anxiety and depression has taken over her life. So, she joins MementoMori, a website that matches people and allocates them a date and method of death. When Mehreen and her new friends change their minds, the website won't let them stop, and an increasingly sinister game begins.

The Athene Protocol by Shamim Sarif - Jessie Archer is a member of the Athena Protocol, an elite organization of female spies who enact vigilante justice around the world. But after Jessie goes her rogue, her former teammates have been ordered to bring her down. Jessie must face danger from all sides if she’s to complete her mission—and survive.

Barely Missing Anything by Matt Mendez - Three Mexican-Americans--Juan, JD, and Fabi--each try to overcome their individual struggles as they all grapple with how to make a better life for themselves when it seems like brown lives don't matter.

The Beast Player by Nahoko Uehashi - An epic YA fantasy about a girl with a special power to communicate with magical beasts and the warring kingdom only she can save.

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh - In 19th century New Orleans where vampires hide in plain sight and a serial killer is on the loose, half-Asian Celine Rosseau, a dressmaker from Paris, becomes embroiled in a murder mystery, connected to the glamorous supernatural cohort, known as the Court of Lions, and catching the eye of their mysterious, charismatic leader, Sèbastien Saint Germain.

The Beauty of the Moment by Tanaz Bhathena - Saudi-Canadian Susan is the new girl. Malcolm is the bad boy. Susan’s parents are on the verge of divorce. Malcolm’s dad is a known adulterer. Susan hasn’t told anyone, but she wants to be an artist. Malcolm doesn’t know what he wants—until he meets her. Love is messy and families are messier, but in spite of their burdens, Susan and Malcolm fall for each other.

The Best Lies by Sarah Lyu - Remy Tsai was happy once. Remy had her boyfriend Jack, and Elise, her best friend—her soulmate. But now Jack is dead, and it was Elise who pulled the trigger. Was it self-defense? Or something deeper, darker than anything Remy could have imagined?

Black Enough: Stories of Being Young & Black in America edit. by Ibi Zoboi - A short story anthology about what it is like to be young and black, centering on the experiences of black teens and emphasizing that one person's experiences, reality, and personal identity are different than someone else.

The Boxer by Nikesh Shukla - When racial tensions are rising in the city, and when a Far Right march through Bristol turns violent, 17-year-old amateur boxer Sunny faces losing his new best friend Keir to radicalization.

Brief Chronicle of Another Stupid Heartbreak by Adi Alsaid - Teen relationship columnist Lu Charles navigates life in the wake of a devastating breakup, and her decision to chronicle the planned breakup of another couple, Cal and Iris, in the summer after they graduate from high school.

The Candle and the Flame by Nafiza Azad - Set in the city of Noor, along the Silk Road which has become a refuge for those of all faiths, Fatima becomes embroiled in a war between two clans of powerful djinn who threaten to destroy her peace in different ways, forcing her to make unlikely alliances to survive.

Caster by Elsie Chapman - In this Chinese-inspired, magical Fight Club, Earth is already at the brink of environmental disaster due to the magic overuse. And 16-year-old spell caster Aza Wu must navigate through an illegal, underground battle magic tournament, while evading local gangs and police scouts to save her family from ruin.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2) by Tomi Adeyemi - After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But with civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart.

Circle of Shadows by Evelyn Skye - Love, spies, and adventure abound as apprentic warriors Sora and Daemon unravel a complex web of magic and secrets that might tear them—and the entire kingdom—apart forever.

Color Me In by Natasha Diaz - In this coming-of-age novel, biracal Neveah learns about the meaning of friendship, the joyful beginnings of romance, and the racism and religious intolerance that can both strain a family to the breaking point and strengthen its bonds.

Color Outside the Lines edited by Sangu Madanna - A groundbreaking YA anthology explores the complexity and beauty of interracial and LGBTQ+ relationships where differences are front and center.

Dealing in Dreams by Lilliam Rivera - 16-year-old Nalah leads the fiercest all-girl crew in Mega City, but when she sets her sights on giving this life up for a prestigious home in Mega Towers, she must decide if she's willing to do the unspeakable to get what she wants.

Dear Haiti, Love Alaine by Maika & Maritza Moulite - Told in epistolary style through letters, articles, emails, and diary entries, when a school presentation goes very wrong, Haitan-American Alaine Beauparlant finds herself suspended, shipped off to Haiti, and writing the report of a lifetime.

Descendant of the Crane by Joan He - In this Chinese-inspired fantasy, Princess Hesina of Yan is thrust into power when her beloved father is murdered, and she's determined to find his killer--whatever the cost.

Don’t Date Rosa Santos by Nina Moreno - Rosa Santos is cursed by the sea-at least, that's what they say. Dating her is bad news, especially if you're a boy with a boat. As her college decision looms, Rosa collides - literally - with Alex Aquino, the mysterious boy with tattoos of the ocean whose family owns the marina. With her heart, her family, and her future on the line, can Rosa break a curse and find her place beyond the horizon.

The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee - In 1890, Atlanta, 17-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady's maid, but by night, Jo moonlights as newspaper advice columnist "Dear Miss Sweetie." When her efforts put Jo in the crosshairs of Atlanta's most notorious criminal, she must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light

A Dream So Dark by L.L. McKinney - Still reeling from her recent battle (and grounded until she graduates) Alice must cross the Veil to rescue her friends and stop the Black Knight once and for all in Wonderland.

Eclipse the Stars by Maura Milan - Criminal mastermind and unrivaled pilot Ia Ccha and her allies make unpredictable choices as they fight to keep darkness from eclipsing the skies.

The Everlasting Rose by Dhonielle Clayton - Camille, Edel, and Remy, aided by The Iron Ladies and backed by alternative newspaper The Spider's Web, race to outwit Sophia, find Princess Charlotte, and return her to Orléans.

Fake It Till You Break It by Jenn P. Nguyen - Neighbors Mia and Jake pretend to fake date to get their respective mothers off their back. All they have to do is pretend to date and then stage the worst breakup of all time. The only problem is, maybe Jake and Mia don’t hate each other as much as they once thought.

Far From Agrabah by Aisha Saeed - On an adventure in a fantastical kingdom, Aladdin and Jasmine get caught up in the magic therein. But soon sinister outside forces come into play, threatening to strand them there forever.

The Field Guide to the North American Teenager by Ben Philippe - When Norris, a Black French Canadian, starts his junior year at an Austin, Texas, high school, he views his fellow students as clichés from "a bad 90s teen movie."

Firestarter (Timekeeper #3) by Tara Sim - Colton, Daphne, and the others must choose between those striving to take down the world's clock towers so that time can run freely, and terrorists trying to bring back the lost god of time.

Five Dark Fates (Three Dark Crowns #4) by Kendare Blake - In this conclusion to the Three Dark Crowns series, three dark sisters will rise to fight as the secrets of Fennbirn’s history are laid bare. Allegiances will shift. Bonds will be tested, and some broken forever.

Five Midnights by Ann Davila Cardinal - If Lupe Dávila and Javier Utierre can survive each other’s company, together they can solve a series of grisly murders sweeping though Puerto Rico. But the clues lead them out of the real world and into the realm of myths and legends.

Forward Me Back to You by Mitali Perkins - Told in separate voices, Kat and Robin leave Boston on a church mission to help combat human trafficking in India while Kat recovers from a sexual assault and Robin seeks his birth mother.

Frankly in Love by David Yoon - Korean-American Frank Li Frank falls for Brit Means, who is smart, beautiful–and white. Fellow Limbo Joy Song is in a similar predicament, and so they make a pact: they’ll pretend to date each other. Frank thinks it’s the perfect plan, but in the end, Frank and Joy’s fake-dating maneuver leaves him wondering if he ever really understood love–or himself–at all.

Full Disclosure by Camryn Garrett - HIV-positive teen Simone Garcia-Hampton must navigate fear, disclosure, and radical self-acceptance when she falls in love--and lust--for the first time.

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi - Paris, 1889: Treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier, Séverin Montagnet-Alarie gets the chance of a lifetime when the all-powerful society, the Order of Babel, seeks him out for help in exchange for a priceless treasure: his true inheritance.

The Girl King by Mimi Yu - Sisters Lu and Min become unwitting rivals in a war to claim the title of Emperor.

Girls of Storm and Shadow (Girls of Paper and Fire #2) by Natasha Ngan - After escaping the Hidden Palace, Lei and her warrior love Wren must travel the kingdom to gain support from the far-flung rebel clans.

The Grief Keeper by Alexandra Villasante - To have her family’s asylum request accepted, 17-year-old Marisol participates in a risky experiment to become a grief keeper, taking another’s grief into her own body to save a life.

His Hideous Heart edited by Dahlia Adler - 13 of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation.

A House of Rage and Sorrow (Celestial Trilogy #2) by Sangu Mandanna - As gods, beasts, and kingdoms choose sides, Alexi seeks out a weapon more devastating than even Titania. The House of Rey is at war. And the entire galaxy will bleed before the end.

How to Be Remy Cameron by Julian Winters - When Remy is assigned to write an essay describing himself, he goes on a journey to reconcile the labels that people have attached to him, and get to know the real Remy Cameron.

Hungry Hearts: 13 Tales of Food & Love edited by Elsie Chapman & Caroline Tung Richmond - Interconnected short stories that explore the intersection of family, culture, and food in the lives of thirteen teens.

I Hope You Get This Message by Farah Naz Rishi - When news stations start reporting that Earth has been contacted by a planet named Alma, the world is abuzz with rumors that the alien entity is giving mankind only few days to live. And with only seven days to face their truths and right their wrongs, Jesse, Cate, and Adeem’s paths collide even as their worlds are pulled apart.

I Love You So Mochi by Sarah Kuhn - Japanese-American fashionista Kimi Nakamura who journeys to Japan on a quest of self-discovery after her college plans fall apart; along the way, she reconnects with her estranged grandparents and finds romance with a handsome med student Akira who moonlights as a costumed mochi mascot.

I Wanna Be Where You Are by Kristina Forest - Chloe Pierce’s chasing her ballet dreams down the east coast— with two unwanted (but kinda cute) passengers in her car, butterflies in her stomach, and a really dope playlist.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver - Non-binary teen Ben De Backer is kicked out by their parents after coming out, but learns that sometimes from disaster one can build a happier new life,

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann - Winnie dreams of someday inheriting the family diner—but it'll go away if they can't make money, and fast. Winnie has a solution—win a televised cooking competition and make bank.

In the Key of Nira Ghani by Natasha Deen - Guyanese-American Nira Ghani struggles with parental expectations and her love for jazz.

Internment by Samira Ahmed - Set in a near future in the United States where Muslim Americans are forced into an internment camp, 17-year-old Layla Amin must fight against Islamophobia, oppression, and complicit silence.

Inventing Victoria by Tonya Bolden - In 1880s Savannah, Dorcas Vashton offers Essie an offer she can't refuse, she becomes Victoria. Transformed by a fine wardrobe, a classic education, and the rules of etiquette, Victoria is soon welcomed in the upper echelons of black society in Washington, D. C. But when the life she desires is finally within her grasp, Victoria must decide how much of herself she is truly willing to surrender.

It’s a Whole Spiel: Love, Latkes & Other Jewish Stories edited by Katherine Locke & Laura Silverman - Get ready to fall in love, experience heartbreak, and discover the true meaning of identity in this poignant collection of short stories about Jewish teens.

Kick the Moon by Muhammad Khan - 15-year-old Ilyas finds a kindred spirit in Kelly Matthews during detention. But when Kelly catches the eye of one of the local bad boys, Imran, he decides to seduce her for a bet. Standing up to Imran puts Ilyas’ family at risk, but it’s time for him to be the superhero he draws in his comic-books, and go kick the moon.

A Kingdom for the Stage (For A Muse of Fire #2) by Heidi Heilig - The rebels are eager to use Le Trépas’s and necromancer Jetta’s combined magic against the invading colonists. Soon Jetta will face the choice between saving all of Chakrana or becoming like her father, and she isn’t sure which she’ll choose.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron - Set in a West African-inspired fantasy kingdom, Arrah comes from a long line of powerful witchdoctors, yet fails at magic. When Arrah trade years off her life for magic to stop the Demon King from destroying the world—that is if it doesn't kill her first.

Kings, Queens, and Everything in Between by Tanya Boteju - 17-year-old, biracial, queer girl Nina Kumara-Clark is plunged into the delirious world of drag where she has the chance to explore questions of identity and love.

The Last 8 by Laura Pohl - Young Latina pilot Clover Martinez finds herself grounded and alone after a devastating alien attack, but soon finds hope in an unlikely group of survivors who aren't what they seem.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki - Teenager Frederica Riley undergoes what might possibly be the most epically complicated breakup in lesbian history -- or at least it feels that way

The Light At the Bottom of the World by London Shah - Set in a future where the Earth is underwater, Leyla McQueen must navigate the treacherous abyss to find her missing father, but discovers a world drowning in lies.

Like A Love Story by Abdi Nazemian - It's 1989 in New York City, three teens, Reza, Judy, and Art cross paths. Judy has never imagined finding romance...until she falls for Reza and they start dating. But as Reza and Art grow closer, Reza struggles to find a way out of his deception that won't break Judy's heart--and destroy the most meaningful friendship he's ever known.

The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali by Sabina Khan - After she’s caught kissing her girlfriend by her conservative Muslim parents, Rukhsana Ali whisked off from Seattle to Bangladesh, where she must find the courage to fight for her love, but can she do so without losing everyone and everything in her life?

Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali - 18-year-old Muslims Adam and Zayneb meet in Doha, Qatar, during spring break and fall in love as both struggle to find a way to live their own truths.

Love Me or Miss Me by Dream Jordan - Kate's fantasy life of having the perfect family comes to an abrupt end when she is suddenly forced to return to the group home. Alone and vulnerable, Kate falls for the ever so gorgeous Percy who treats her well at first, but soon a cycle of controlling and abusive behavior begins. Will she be able to escape Percy's clutches?

The Magnolia Sword: A Ballad of Mulan by Sherry Thomas - As they cross the Great Wall to face the enemy beyond, Mulan and the princeling must find a way to unwind their past, unmask a traitor, and uncover the plans for the Rouran invasion . . . before it's too late.

A Match Made in Mehendi by Nandini Bajpai - 15-year-old Indian-American Simran “Simi” Sangha, who comes from a long line of matchmakers, decides to try to gain high school popularity using her family's matchmaking traditions to create a dating app.

The Never Tilting World by Rin Chupeco - In a world ruled by goddesses that has been split in two—one half existing in perpetual scorching Day, the other in freezing Night—twins separated at birth Odessa and Haidee embark on a quest across the great divide and rule a reunited world.

No One Here is Lonely by Sarah Everett - After having her heart so broken, Eden resorts to having her memories erased instead.

Nocturna by Maya Motayne - In a Latinx-inspired kingdom of Castallan, face-changing thief Finn Voy and grief-stricken Prince Alfehr must race to vanquish a dark magic they have accidentally unleashed.

Not Your Backup by C.B. Lee (Sidekick Squad #3) - As the Resistance moves to challenge the corrupt League of Heroes, Emma Robledo realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front.

Oh My Gods by Alexandra Sheppard - Half-mortal teenager Helen Thomas goes to live with her father—who is Zeus, masquerading as a university professor—and must do her best to keep the family secret intact.

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas - When 16-year-old Bri, an aspiring rapper, pours her anger and frustration into her first song, she finds herself at the center of a controversy.

Once & Future by Amy Rose Capetta & Cori McCarthy - In this Arthurian retelling set in space, King Arthur is reincarnated as 17-year-old Ari, a female king whose quest is to stop a tyrannical corporate government, aided by a teenaged Merlin.

Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds - After falling for Kate, her unexpected death sends Jack back in time to the moment they first met, but he soon learns that his actions have unintended consequences.

Our Wayward Fate by Gloria Chao - 17-year-old teen outcast Ali Chu is simultaneously swept up in a whirlwind romance and down a rabbit hole of dark family secrets when another Taiwanese family moves to her small, predominantly white Midwestern town.

Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribar - When 17-year-old Jay Reguero learns his Filipino cousin and former best friend, Jun, was murdered as part of President Duterte's war on drugs, he flies to the Philippines to learn more.

Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi - Brooklyn bodega worker Pablo crosses paths & falls in love with multi-platinum recording artist Leanna Smart.

Rated by Melissa Grey - For the students at the prestigious Maplethorpe Academy, every single thing they do is reflected in their Ratings System. But when an act of vandalism sullies the front doors of the school, it sets off a chain reaction that will shake the lives of six special students -- and the world beyond.

Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia - When a tragic accident takes the life of the only family she's ever known, 16-year-old Raven is sent to New Orleans to start over. She soon discovers that she can hear the thoughts of others around her...and another, more disturbing, voice in her head.

Rebel (Legend #4) by Marie Lu - Brothers Eden and Daniel Wing struggle to accept who they’ve each become since their time in the Republic, but a new danger creeps into the distance that’s grown between them. Eden soon finds himself drawn so far into Ross City’s dark side, even his legendary brother can’t save him. At least not on his own.

The Revolution of Birdie Randolph by Brandy Colbert - Dove “Birdie” Randolph maintains a close bond with her parents until first love and a family secret threatens to tear them apart.

The Rise of Kyoshi by F.C. Yee - The never-before-told backstory of Avatar Kyoshi, from a girl of humble origins to the merciless pursuer of justice who is still feared and admired centuries after she became the Avatar.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy - A North African-inspired feminist fantasy in which two sisters, Eva and Isa must compete in a magical duel to the death for the right to inherit the queendom of Myre.

Rogue Heart (Rebel Seoul #2) by Axie Oh - Two years after the Battle of Neo Seoul, 18-year-old telepath Ama must use her telepathic abilities to infiltrate the base of the Alliance’s new war commander, Alex Kim, her first love who betrayed her. Will she be able to carry out her task? Or will she give up everything for Alex again—only to be betrayed once more?

Ruse (Want #2) by Cindy Pon - In near-future Shanghai where society is divided between the fabulously wealthy business elite and the masses they exploit, Jason Zhou must play a dangerous cat and mouse game with the ruthless CEO of an all powerful corporation which has an ever-growing choke hold on the polluted metropolis.

Soaring Earth by Margarita Engle - In this memoir, Young People’s Poet Laureate Margarita Engle recounts her teenage years during the turbulent 1960s between Cuba and America.

Shadow Frost by Coco Ma - When Asterin Faelenhart, Princess of Axaria and heir to the throne, discovers that she may hold the key to defeating the demon terrorizing her kingdom, she vows not to rest until the beast is slain.

Take the Mic: Fictional Stories About Everyday Resistance edited by Bethany C. Morrow - A YA anthology focused on a collection of fictional stories of everyday resistance.

The Shadow Glass (Bone Witch #3) by Rin Chupeco - Bone witch Tea's dark magic eats away at her, but she must save the one she loves most, even while her life—and the kingdoms—are on the brink of destruction.

Shatter the Sky by Rebecca Kim Wells - Maren, desperate to save her kidnapped girlfriend Kaia, plans to steal one of the emperor's dragons and storm the Aurati stronghold, but her success depends on becoming an apprentice to the mysterious dragon trainer, which proves to be a dangerous venture.

SLAY by Brittney Morris - Black video game developer Kiera Johnson battles a real-life troll intent on ruining the Black Panther-inspired video game she created, and the safe community it represents for black gamers.

Somewhere Only We Know by Maurene Goo - In Hong Kong, k-pop star Lucky who'd like to be anyone else meets charming con-boy Jack, looking for a big break to impress his paparazzo father. When sparks ignite, the two must decide if they can risk it all for each other.

Song of the Abyss (Towers of Wind #2) by Makiia Lucier - When menacing raiders attack her ship, navigator Reyna must use every resource at her disposal, including placing her trust in a handsome prince from a rival kingdom.

Song of the Crimson Flower by Julie C. Dao - After cruelly rejecting Bao, the poor physician's apprentice who loves her, Lan, a wealthy nobleman's daughter, regrets her actions. After learning that Bao’s soul has been trapped inside a flute by a witch, Lan vows to make amends and help break the spell.

Soul of the Sword (Shadow of the Fox #2) by Julie Kagawa - As the paths of Yumeko and the possessed Tatsumi cross once again, the entire empire will be thrown into chaos.

Spin the Dawn by Elizabeth Lim - 17-year-old Maia Tamarin poses as a boy to compete for the role of imperial tailor, and embarks on an impossible journey to sew three magic dresses, from the sun, the moon, and the stars, with help from the mysterious court magician, Edan.

Spin by Lamar Giles - When DJ ParSec, rising star of the local music scene, is found dead over her turntables, the two girls who found her, Kya and Fuse, are torn between grief for Paris and hatred for each other--but when the investigation stalls, they unite, determined to find out who murdered their friend.

The Stars the Blackness Between Them by Junauda Petraus - Audre from Trinidad and Mabel from Minneapolis, fall in love and create magic at the same time they learn one of them might not have long to live.

Stronger Than A Bronze Dragon by Mary Fan - In this steampunk fantasy set in Qing dynasty-inspired China, warrior girl Anlei teams up with a thief to save her village from shadow spirits, but after arriving at the Courts of Hell, a discovery challenges everything they know about who the real enemy is.

Symptoms of a Heartbreak by Sonia Charaipotra - The youngest doctor in America, Indian-American teen Saira makes her rounds―and falls head over heels in this romantic comedy.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi - Sana Khan and Rachel Recht, on opposite sides of the social scale must work together to make a movie and try very hard not to fall in love.

The Things She’s Seen by Ambelin & Ezekiel Kwaymullina - As Beth Teller and her father unravel a mystery, they find a shocking and heartbreaking story lurking beneath the surface of a small town, and a friendship that lasts beyond one life and into another...

There’s Something About Sweetie (When Dimple Met Rishi #3) by Sandhya Menon - Told in two voices, disappointed-in-love Ashish Patel and self-proclaimed fat athlete Sweetie Nair begin to find their true selves while dating under contract.

This Time Will Be Different by Misa Sugiura - 17-year-old CJ Katsuyama’s mom decides to sell her family’s flower shop—to the family who swindled CJ’s grandparents during WWII Internment. Soon a rift threatens to splinter CJ’s family, friends, and their entire Northern California community; and for the first time, CJ has found something she wants to fight for.

A Thousand Fires by Shannon Price - In modern-day San Francisco where three gangs rule the city streets, half-Filipina teen Valerie Simons enters the Red Bridge Wars to seek vengeance for her younger brother's death, but soon finds herself torn between old love and new loyalty.

The Tiger at Midnight by Swati Teerdhala - In ancient India, soldier Kunal hunts the “Viper,” rebel girl Esha accused of killing his General, embarking on a dangerous cat and mouse game and where both must decide—loyalty to their old lives or to a love that's made them dream of new ones.

Truly, Madly, Royally by Debbie Riguad - When Prince Owen invites Zora Emerson to be his date at his big brother's big royal wedding, Zora is suddenly thrust into the spotlight, along with her family and friends.

The Universal Laws of Marco by Carmen Rodrigues - Told through the lens of a guy in love with the cosmos (and maybe two girls), this story explores the complicated histories that bring us together and tear us apart.

Virtually Yours by Sarvenz Tash - NYU freshman Mariam Vakilian tries out a virtual reality dating app, only to be matched up with the high school ex she's still not over. Mariam’s heart is telling her one thing, but the app is telling her another. So, which should she trust? Is all fair in modern love?

The Voice in My Head by Dana L. Davis - When a sequence of wrenching secrets detonates, Indigo must figure out how to come to terms with her twin sister Violet, her family…and the voice in her head.

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi - Set in a futuristic, Black Panther-inspired Nigeria, sisters Onyii and Ify, separated by a devastating civil war, must fight their way back to each other against all odds.

Watch Us Rise by Renee Watson & Ellen Hagan - Jasmine and Chelsea start a Women's Rights Club and soon go viral. But with such positive support, the club is also targeted by online trolls. When things escalate, the principal shuts the club down. Jasmine and Chelsea will risk everything for their voices—and those of other young women—to be heard.

What Makes You Beautiful by Bridget Liang - Encouraged and supported by his friends at school, Logan begins questioning his gender. Realizing they are not a gay boy, but a transgender girl, Logan asks for people to call them Veronica. As a girl, does Veronica stand a chance with straight boy Kyle?

We Hunt the Flame by Hafsah Faizal - In a world inspired by ancient Arabia, 17-year-old huntress Zafira must disguise herself as a man to seek a lost artifact that could return magic to her cursed world.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia - Set at the Medio School for Girls, where young women are trained to become one of two wives assigned to high society men; with revolution brewing in the streets, star student Daniela Vargas fights to protect a destructive secret, sending her into the arms of the most dangerous person possible—the second wife of her husband-to-be.

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf - A music-loving teen with OCD does everything she can to find her way back to her mother during the historic race riots in 1969 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

When the Stars Lead to You by Ronni Davis - 18-year-old Devon longs for two things.The stars. And the boy she fell in love with last summer. Senior year, Ashton shows up on the first day of school. Can she forgive him and open her heart again? Or are they doomed to repeat history?

Wicked Fox by Kat Cho - After 18-year-old Miyoung Gu, a nine-tailed fox surviving in modern-day Seoul by eating the souls of evil men, kills a murderous goblin to save Jihoon, she is forced to choose between her immortal life and his.

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo - With her daughter to care for and her abuela to help support, high school senior and aspiring chef Emoni Santiago has to make the tough decisions. But even with all the rules she has for her life — and all the rules everyone expects her to play by — once Emoni starts cooking, her only real choice is to let her talent break free.

You Must Be Layla by Yasmin Abdel-Magied - Layla's mind goes a million miles a minute, so does her mouth. Despite the setback of a high school suspension, Layla's determined to show everyone that she does deserve her scholarship and sets her sights on winning a big invention competition. But where to begin? Looking outside and in, Layla will need to come to terms with who she is and who she wants to be if she has any chance of succeeding.

#authors of color #book recommendations #yalit #women of color authors #AWW YISSS IT'S MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!!!

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jamesashtonisbae · 5 years ago

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I made a list of all my Choices MCs and LIs to avoid studying, so here it is :)

BTW: I am done for the semester on Wednesday and on Friday will probably start writing again, so look for Part 6 of Why Not Both? my Open Heart series with Bryce x MC and Rafael x MC. I’ll also probably crank out a couple of TF chapters with James x MC. At the top are pairings I could see myself writing for, so I may write some other stuff too! If any of those pairings look like something you’d want, I’d be happy to give some a shot if you want to let me know! With the exception of Open Heart, the pairings are listed in the order I prefer the pairing (for example, I prefer Lauren x Thomas over Lauren x Levi for MOTY).

Pairings I would write:

Bach: Michelle x Ash

BSC: Tara x Dallas

TF: Lacey x James

LH: Mellie x Ben

MOTY: Lauren x Thomas; Lauren x Levi

OH: Bentley x Bryce; Bentley x Rafael; Bentley x Bryce x Rafael

Platinum: Anniston x Raleigh

PM: Maren x Damien (with others in background, but main focus on Maren x Damien)

ROD: Aleigha x Colt; Aleigha x Logan

VoS: Phoebe x Grant; Phoebe x Naomi

WT: Lila x Jaime

All Pairings

ATV: McAllister Elara - Zekei Sentry

AME: Darian (?) Michaels - Derek (?)

BB: Louise - Clint Covington

Bach: Michelle Wilkins - Ash

BSC: Tara - Dallas James

BB: Hattie - Jax Matsuo

ACOR: Hera - Syphax

DD: Lilith Harper - Luke Harper

TE: Addison Russell - Griffin Langley

ES: Riley - Sean Gayle

TF: Lacey Jae Morgan - James Ashton

THM: Harlow - Rye

Hero: Diedre - Grayson

HSS: Billie Carlson - Caleb Mitchell

HSS: CA: Dianne Walsh - Rory

HFTH: Laurie Joy - Nick Peralta

LH: Mellie - Ben Park

MOTY: Lauren Day (Waverly Day) - Thomas Mendez and Levi Schuler

NB: Nala - Cal

OH: Bentley Rogers - Bryce Lahela and Rafael Aveiro

PTR: Mallory - Ahmed

PM: Maren Park - Damien Nazario, Alana Kasuma, Hayden Young, Sloane Washington, Khaan

Platinum: Anniston Michaels - Raleigh Carrera

RCD: Ava - Matt Rodriguez

ROD: Aleigha - Colt Kaneko and Logan

TRM: Torrence Rosario - Kayden Vescovi

TRR: Queen Eliley Loretta Vanderbilt-Rys - King Adam Rys

ROE: Raya - Daniel Sloan; Tom - Elena Sanchez; Mimi - Audrey; Tess - Blake Yasuda

StD: Liv - Simon Hendricks and Fitz Mercado

SK: Merris - Samson

VoS: Pheobe - Grant Emerson and Naomi Silverhawk

WT: Lila Majors - Jaime

#playchoices fanfic #open heart fanfiction #the freshman fanfiction #james ashton x mc #bryce lahela x mc #rafael aveiro x mc

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bookgeekgrrl · 6 years ago

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Sunday reading recap (9-Sep-2018)

still thinking about that kusama art

misc shorter fic

Love You So Hard (Love You So Stories #1, Tara Lain, 85 pgs)

Syncopation (Twisted Wishes #1, Anna Zabo, 295 pgs) - this was SOOOOO GOOOD. aro/pan dom meets gay sub, ROCK STAR romance. Loved the characters, loved how their D/s dynamic was very specific to THEM, really really loved the aromantic rep. Honestly wouldn’t have minded a much more violent & painful comeuppance for the bullying, abusive villain but I was feeling particularly bloodthirsty this week so that’s probably just me. He def does get what’s coming to him. The author’s review with content warnings. This is the 2nd book by the author for me and I’ve loved both; really looking forward to the next book in this series.

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run (waspabi) - 93K, a very fun *slight* AU where the wizard world doesn’t manage to find Harry until he’s 17 + it’s the teenage rebellion that does find him - so it’s a lot of them trying to bring him up to speed, teach him magic and plan a revolution. Draco cannot believe this is his life now.

Draco pulled on the back of Harry’s jumper until he collapsed backwards. He felt a hot little thrill at being allowed to do that, to touch him, to run a hand through his horrible hair. He was allowed to arrange Harry’s limbs until he was pressed up against him, his face jammed into Draco’s neck. Draco wanted to pull Harry right into his body so he could never leave him. Merlin fuck, it was horrible. Draco felt all soft and open like Harry could dip his hand right through Draco’s soppy ribs and pick out his heart. Harry’s eyes were a little bit wet. Draco wanted to hunt down everyone who had ever hurt him and make them suffer, slowly and over a long period of time.“You want to not talk about it?” “Tell me about your crap book,” Harry said, mumbled into Draco’s skin. His breath came out in warm huffs, and Draco’s heart threatened to beat right out of his body. “Fine,” Draco said, and began to tell him about what Muggles apparently called vikings and who were clearly sex terrorists.

Luna sat at the kitchen table wearing pyjamas printed with green and red giraffes. She held a large mug that steamed gently in the cool air. “Good morning, Draco. Would you like to help me decorate?”“No,” Draco said.“That’s unfortunate for you,” Luna said sympathetically, and set him to transfiguring small, melted-down candles into larger ones.

Snow & Winter short stories (C.S. Poe) - two I had read before, the others I had not (all free on author’s website)

New Year's Eve #1.1

The Innter Workings of Sebastian Snow #1.2

Little Moments #2.1

Ghost of Durango #3.1)

The Mystery of the Moving Image (Snow & Winter #3, C.S. Poe) - It’s the return of my favorite crankypants, sometimes insecure, achromatopsic, Victorian-America-expert amateur sleuth and his hot cop boyfriend!!! I love how Sebastian is at times brilliant in his deductions and then other times COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY lacking in any common sense – for me, that’s very human. (I don’t know how Poe manages to write Seb so that his occasional forays into utter idiocy don’t make me ragequit him, but she does!) So there’s a 100-year-old murder on film, one current murder, two burglaries, two robberies and Sebastian in the middle, even when he’s *not* actively trying. And I love that we get to see more of Seb’s ex, who’s maybe not *quite* as terrible as he used to be (or as Seb remembers).

“Sebastian.” “I was only sleuthing a little.” [Cal’s one word “Sebastian” KILLS ME LOL]

I pushed the door shut, took a few steps forward, grabbed Calvin by the tie, and pulled him down into a kiss. And it wasn’t just any kiss. It was everything that I was— everything that made him and me, us. It was affection, trust, surprise, want, and need. It was pure, undiluted joy, uncertainty, weakness, and strength. It was every promise I’d made. Every apology owed. Every vow to do better. It was every last ounce of love I had for Calvin Winter.

“And… and I think we’re imperfectly perfect for each other. Like, peanut butter is too savory alone, and jelly’s too sweet, but we….” I started laughing. “We make a great sandwich.”

“What part of the sandwich am I?” “Huh?” “The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Which am I?” “Jelly, definitely,” I answered. “You think I’m the sweet one?” “I’m way too salty to be.” Calvin smiled and petted my hair. “We really are better together.”

Fav read of the week: another week where everything was *very* good but it’s Mystery of the Moving Image because SEBASTIAN AND CALVIN AND their family (blood & found).

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #anna zabo #c.s. poe #fanfic ftw #snow and winter series #twisted wishes series #fan makers are a *gift*

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zenhelps · 7 years ago

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Under the list you will find just about #156 names that are Short & Sweet. If you found this helpful or like some of the names from this masterlist, please like or reblog.

Girl Names

Abby

Alice

Ally

Amy

Angel

Anna

Anne

Anya

April

Asia

Ava

Becca

Becky

Beth

Brooke

Cara

Cindy

Claire

Daisy

Della

Ella

Elsa

Emma

Eve

Faith

Grace

Hana

Iris

Isla

Ivy

Jade

Jana

Jenna

Jill

Jolie

Joy

Julie

June

Juno

Kate

Kathy

Katie

Kelly

Kerry

Kim

Lily

Lisa

Liz

Liza

Lola

Maddie

Maggie

Mara

Mary

Maya

May

Molly

Nell

Nora

Oona

Oria

Paige

Rain

Rainn

Raven

Rose

Sana

Sandy

Sara

Sasha

Tara

Uma

Vera

Vicky

Zadie

Zara

Boy Names

Adam

Alan

Aldo

Alex

Andy

Ario

Asa

Ben

Blake

Brooks

Bryce

Chad

Chase

Chris

Clay

Cole

Dane

Dan

Dave

Drew

Dylan

Eli

Enzo

Eric

Ethan

Evan

Felix

Franz

Fritz

Gary

Gus

Heath

Henry

Hugo

Ian

Jack

Jake

James

Jason

Jay

John

Josh

Lee

Liam

Luke

Mark

Matt

Milo

Nate

Nick

Nico

Owen

Parks

Paul

Pax

Ray

Roan

Ross

Ryan

Sam

Scott

Sean

Theo

Tom

Troy

Van

Will

Zack

Zev

Unisex Names

Ari

Cal

Charlie

Lane

Max

Miles

Misha

Noah

Pat

Shay

#Name Masterlist #M:Names #m:mine #rph

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thank-you-for-the-vampire-money · 8 years ago

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REMBRANDT

Based off a post by @bucky-plums-barnes for Daddy Wednesday:

“Anonymous said:

Lance's kid being very into art, music, theater, and stuff but Lance being a little disappointed that they're not into athletics, but not being upset or pouty. But, the child thinks they've let their a failure and that Lance doesn't like them because of them liking art. Once Lance hears about this he buys them a super nice painting set and says that he loves them no matter what and wants to apologize for making them feel like that.

Answer: and he always makes sure he’s at their recitals or plays and drives them to lessons. Lance is very very supportive”

A/N: Okay, just to be clear, I was the Anon who sent this in, but it wasn’t until Gen (am I even worthy enough to call her that?) responded that I considered turning it into a fic. So the original idea was mine, but the actual inspiration to write it out was from Gen. So thank you!

Lance x reader (ish)

Word count: 2174

Summary: Lance is huge on sports and had always hoped his child would become a professional athlete like him. But, when he and (Y/N)’s son likes the arts, things get a bit messy.

Warnings: slight angst, little bit of fighting, crushed dreams, Lance being a dick as usual. FLUFFY ENDING.

(GIF not mine)

Lance thought a lot of things. He thought that he would never settle with one girl… then he met (Y/N). Lance thought he would never get married… next thing he knew he was muttering ‘I do’ to (Y/N) through tears of joy. Lance thought he would never have kids… then he had his son, Abner… then his daughter, Tera. But most of all, he never thought his child would be… an artist.

For most of Abner’s life, Lance had been pushing him to do sports. (Y/N) thought it was a good idea. Abner was just a child and they didn’t know what his interests were yet, and sports was a good place to start, especially considering who his father is. So, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker signed their son up for sports.

First, Lance tried to push Abner into gymnastics, of course. But, that didn’t seem to work out. Abner didn’t seem to be getting into the moves or rhythm, so he tried a different sport. Classic baseball was Lance’s next choice. Abner was somewhat good at it, he made decent scores, he didn’t try to shove sand down his uniform like the other little boys did. But he just didn’t seem very excited about it, so they put Abner in Football. Yeah… Abner didn’t even make it passed the tryouts on that one. Next up was swimming. Abner did not like that at all! No matter how hard he tried, he always ended up swimming like a drowning horse. So, then they tried hockey… they never talk about Abner’s ‘incident’ in hockey…

The Tucker family had tried every sport and physical activity under the sun. Golfing, weight lifting, curling, track and field, tennis, karate, soccer, everything! But nothing worked for Abner. So, after years of struggle, Lance gave up on his search for a suitable sport for his son.

One day, when Abner was in fourth grade, he told his mother that he wanted to take guitar lessons as an elective, just for the heck of it. (Y/N) thought ‘what’s the harm in trying?’ and let him do it. Turns out, Abner really enjoyed it! He thought it was fun, he had potential in the skill, and it made him happy!

After that, he really took off flying! Through the years, Abner took on multiple different electives and classes, all having to do with the arts. He took up sketching, painting, drama, singing, he continued on the guitar, he even picked up the ukulele! Abner loved it all! And he was quite good at it too.

Over time, Abner worked at his craft, perfecting it and developing his special talents and skills. He was learning to write songs on his own, he was studying different artist’s methods for painting, he developed his own sketching style, he’s almost mastered realistic drawing, and he’s even gotten the lead role in a few school plays before! All of this was amazing, but, to Lance, it was almost… disappointing…

Lance wasn’t mad that his son likes the arts, not at all! Lance loved to see his son so happy and doing what he loves! Lance had just hoped that he could raise a champion, one greater than himself. Someone who would compete and trample the opponents beneath their feet, someone who would win medals and trophies to adorn the mantle. He couldn’t exactly do that with an artist, now could he?

Abner was now in his senior year in highschool. He was still learning and succeeding in the arts. He was so excited! He was even waiting for a letter to see if he had gotten a scholarship to Cal Arts! Lance didn’t care for too much for it, but (Y/N) was quite proud of Abner for all his hard work and well-earned accomplishments!

A blur of color dashed passed Tara, nearly knocking her over. “Abner! Mom said no running in the halls!” Tara tattled, standing back on her feet. Abner didn’t even acknowledge his tweenaged sister’s existence as he rocketed off to his parents’ bedroom- he was too excited! Cal Arts had finally sent him their response letter and he wanted to open it in front of his dad! Maybe if he got accepted, Lance would be proud of him, just maybe.

Abner knew he didn’t turn out like Lance had wanted him to. Lance wanted an all-star athlete who would be on magazine covers and on the front page of newspapers. But, instead, Lance got a mini Picasso. Lance had never said that he was disappointed out loud to him, but Abner knew how he felt.

Abner stood outside his parents’ bedroom door, eagerly jumping up and down. He raised his fist, shakily getting ready to knock on the door and make his big announcement- when yelling caught his attention. Abner pressed his ear against the locked door, curiosity taking over as he listened to what his mom and dad were saying.

“I don’t care what you wanted, Lance! He deserves to be supported!” (Y/N) screamed, a twinge of irritation in her voice. Abner’s heart sunk as his brain jumped to the only meaning that that sentence could have. But, he kept listening, maybe Lance would agree and finally take pride in his son... maybe. “All I wanted was to have a kid to follow in my footsteps! I wanted to raise a champion! Is that so much to ask?!” Lance shouted back, “if you’re repressing and demeaning your child’s talents, then yes!” (Y/N) answered, fury soaking her words.

“I just wanted a kid who could be successful! The phrase ‘starving artist’ exists for a reason, y’know!” Lance screamed, “I don’t want to raise a failure!” “Lancelot Tucker!” (Y/N) gasped a loud slapping noise following her exclamation.

Abner was mortified, he didn’t want to hear any more. Abner had always tried to please his father, to make him proud in any way he could. But, it would seem that there was no way for Abner to please Lance with his passions. Abner… was a failure to his father.

Lance walked into the kitchen the next morning tired and cranky; sleeping on the couch was never fun. As he slowly trudged through the large kitchen, he attempted to kiss (Y/N) on the cheek as a greeting, but she pushed him away and continued to read her novel. (Y/N) did not want him to think that he was forgiven for what he said last night by giving him any sort of affection.

An infantile grumble came from Lance’s scowling face as he walked away from his wife to get some coffee. As he poured some into his favorite mug, he caught a glance of the, very full, trash can in his peripherals. “What’s all that?” Lance grunted irritatedly, “take a look and see for yourself!” (Y/N) grunted back harshly, pointing at the mess but never taking her eyes off the book’s page.

Lance set his mug on the counter and approached the garbage to see what it all was. Lance opened the lid and saw paper, small canvases, sheet music, Abner’s guitar and ukulele were haphazardly tossed beside the wastebasket, his huge school project was placed with them, tons of sketchbooks were tossed in there, paints, brushes, pencils, markers, and… a letter from Cal Arts… This was all Abner’s stuff.

Lance looked at his wife in a panic, “he heard what you said last night…” (Y/N) droned, flipping the page in her book. Lance looked down at the unopened letter in his hands. The poor kid must be so heartbroken.

That night, Lance stayed up, drinking coffee and looking through all the art supplies that had been thrown out. He sat at the kitchen table, flipping through one of the many sketchbooks that Abner had filled over the years. He was quite good. There were drawings of Abner’s friends, his sister, Abner himself, different celebrities; there were sketches of random objects around the house, there was a bit of calligraphy, there was even some OC drawings and thumbnails for paintings.

Lance was amazed by his son’s talent! How had he never noticed this before?! All the paintings he had reviewed earlier were fantastic and the music he was writing was amazing! Lance was kinda sad that he never bothered to go to any of Abner’s acting performances, that kid must’ve been phenomenal!

After he had finished looking through the seventh sketchbook, Lance leaned over to the trash to see what else he could find. As he scanned the trash bin, something caught Lance’s eye. It was a big canvas board, but half of it wasn’t painted. Lance struggled to yank it out of the garbage, but after a bit of a fight, he was able to slip it out.

With a victorious smirk, Lance looked down at the painting. It was… of him. It was a painting… of Lance. It wasn’t quite finished, but it was him, wearing his track suit, with three or four gold medals around his neck, and the background was blue, but with flashes of white, almost like cameras flashing. “Abner did this?” Lance whispered to himself, in awe that his child would do something like this. He flipped the canvas over and saw Abner’s handwriting. It was a letter to Lance.

‘Dad,

I know I’m not how you wanted me to turn out.

You wanted to raise an Olympic champion, but you got me instead.

I know I won’t win metals or huge trophies, but I promise dad, one day I’ll make you proud.

I promise.’

Tears were forming in Lance’s eyes. How could he make his own son feel like he wasn’t good enough? He made him feel like a failure to the point where his son threw out a full-ride scholarship just to make Lance happy. Lance was going to make it up to him, he had to.

Abner sat in his room, staring at the old bin, full of what little sports certificates and participation awards he got when he was a kid. Obviously, he had never actually won anything, just gotten those meaningless, ‘you’re special’ and ‘good job’ prizes they give out so no one feels left out. Maybe Abner could try to actually win something, maybe that would make Lance proud of him.

A small knock on the doorframe brought Abner’s attention to his father as he entered the room. “Hey, sport- I mean-” Lance greeted. Real smooth, Tucker. Real smooth.

“Sorry…” Lance apologized, sitting down on the edge of the bed with his son, “I uh… I saw all your art… in the kitchen…” Abner just nodded, not even sparing Lance simple eye contact. He really screwed this one up. “It was really good! I uh… I’m sorry I never took the time to uh… look at it…” Lance felt so guilty, but he had no idea what to say! “Hey, I got you something,” Lance perked up, handing Abner the large case he had carried in. Abner was a little wary of the abrupt gift. Lance was not one to give gifts, unless it was Christmas or something. And even then, Lance didn’t do much in the way of gift giving.

Abner took the large gift and set it in his lap and began to unwrap it. It was probably the uniform to a new sport he had been signed up for by his father. “Dad you didn’t need t-” words escaped Abner’s brain as once he saw what Lance had given him. It was a Royal Langnickel Deluxe drawing set and a set of 24 Copic markers. “Dad! Why’d you do this? These things cost a fortune!” Abner exclaimed, studying the pristine packaging of the art supplies, “this easily cost you over three hundred dollars!”. Lance just smiled, seeing how excited his son was. “I thought you deserved it,” Lance nodded, taking the letter out of his pocket.

“Look, I made you feel like a disappointment, just because you weren’t like me. That was pretty douchy of me and I’m sorry,”. Abner just smiled at him, “I wanted to make you proud, dad,” he rasped, staring to cry. Lance wrapped his son in a tight embrace, letting him know how he felt, “I am proud of you, buddy!” Lance sobbed, “I just wished I could’ve seen it sooner, instead of being a dick to you for most of your life,”.

The two boys just sat there for a moment, embracing each other and letting the tensions melt away. Lance pulled away, wiping his face of any rogue tears that might have fallen. “Now,” he sniffed, handing the Cal arts letter to Abner, “let’s see what this says,”.

A/N: okay, I was really excited for this and thought it would be really good, but now I realize this was a really sucky idea and I should not have written this. But, I’m posting it anyway, even though no one will like this because I worked hard on it and I need to post something that isn’t a part of Half Crazy for You. Sorry if you’re disappointed, I am too.

TAGLIST:

@buckyshattergirl @paranoid-borderline-insane

#sorry #this is horrible #i should not have posted this #i am so sorry #lance #lance tucker #lance tucker x reader #lance x reader #dad!lance #dad!lance x reader #the bronze #triple f #Fantastic-fantasy-fanfics #ary is sorry for this terrible fic

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