#T_T how many times do i speak of wants and how many times do i even reach out to them? hdkfajsdfl that said tho i find it interesting how

[zolass]

Oh!!! Uhhh how about OC x bttm! Reader where reader is a much soft spoken/passive guy and OC is the one who teases him a lot? Bonus points if Reader takes a second to process suggestive jokes & is significantly taller than OC (because I've never read a taller bttm b4 LMAO)

MY MUSE ···─Tease! Rafayel x Taller! bttm Male Reader

Summary: Where you find yourself in the grasps of an famous artist, who simply asked you to be his muse and even paying you for it. But why does it feel like that there's more behind all the teasing from Rafayel. wc: 1.2k

tags: fluff, teasing, taller shy reader (reader is as tall as sylus), nudity, mentions of sex and multiple rounds, (pls tell me if I forgot smt) Note: I'm sorry if you wanted smut with this one, or a different character. Hope it's still enjoyable. But ngl I like the dynamic T_T

You were sitting at the coast, your shoes dug in the sand as you squatted down. The waves barely missed the tip of your shoes, while you simply stared at the mesmerizing display of the ocean. Your fingers were playing with the sand absentmindedly.

So you didn’t hear the approaching footsteps in the sand, until a hand landed on your shoulder. Looking up surprised, you came face to face with the handsome male that you had been working with for a few months, Rafayel. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Rafayel said, it was a common thing he called you by. At first it was a rather big surprise for you, but it made sense as he hired you as his muse. “Hey Raf,” you greeted him back with a small smile on your lips before you stood up. Now it was Rafayel’s time to look slightly up at you. “I made breakfast and coffee– so the sooner we are there, the more time we have!” Rafayel said, while he grabbed your hand and pulled you along the shore towards the place you call your home since the last few months.

Many would question why you lived with the painter, all the while you’re ‘just a muse’ as some would like to call it. You didn’t have to pay for basically anything, freeloading off of the other. Of course at the beginning you wanted to know why he did it, just as confused as others would be, even going as far as not accepting the payment he gave you. But his words at the beginning simply were “creativity doesn’t wait around, so I have to grasp it while it’s simply there.”

Quickly you found yourself in the open kitchen, with a steaming coffee mug in front of you, and the simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. As you were enjoying your breakfast in silence, Rafayel’s eyes were trained on your figure. Tall, even taller than him, soft locks framing your face. Your eyes that always held warmth in them, even when others would say he was annoying and too much when he wanted to paint another piece, you simply sat there in your own bubble, going along with his orders without speaking up about it. 

After the first three days, Rafayel started to relax more, speaking more with you, having conversations while on and off ‘work’, soon he also started to make suggestive jokes, he loved to see the halt in movement of whatever you’re doing, taking a few seconds to take in his words before a beautiful reddish color would adorn your cheeks, that you would try to hide.

Maybe that was it, what made him slowly develop this warmth in his chest whenever he thought of you, was seeing you or was simply close to you. 

The clearing of your throat brought Rafayel out of his thoughts, “You alright Raf? You didn’t touch your breakfast yet,” you asked with concern, lacing your voice. Rafayel couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach because of your concern for him, he quickly cleared his throat before he looked at you with a playful smile on his lips. “Just thinking about something– you know.. I don’t mind looking up at you, but I bet you would look better under me.” 

It took a few seconds for the words to register in your brain, and as they did he watched as your eyes widened and face heated up, adorning your cheeks in a slightly reddish shade. You didn’t know what to say, your mouth opening and closing. A chuckle left Rafayel as he watched your reaction, “Okay if you’re done let’s start,” Rafayel started, as he cleaned up the table. 

As he walked to the empty canvas, he couldn’t help but halt in his movement, a sudden idea in his head. “[name] you said– you would do anything as my muse right?” The sudden question surprised you. But you took a few seconds to think of how you should answer, so after a bit you nodded, before adding a yes. 

Rafayel couldn’t help the giddy feeling in his stomach, it might be rather risky but he decided to do it anyway, who knew if he had the chance ever again. “Then– strip,” he said loud enough for both of you to hear. 

You stared at him wide-eyed, “Pardon?” 

“Only your shirt,” Rafayel quickly added, backing out half way. Yet he wanted to see your slightly toned chest, without a shirt blocking most of the sight. You were still kinda shocked, before you gave a short okay. 

Soon you were seated on a small chair with a translucent cloth layered across your naked torso, your eyes sometimes looking at the concentrated face of Rafayel, his words still lingering in your head, before the silence was interrupted by a young woman with dark brown hair walking in. 

Quickly you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to hide your exposed body, which was clearly a failure. Both of you stared at each other with wide eyes, a rose color dusting the woman's cheeks. 

The clearing of a throat was heard, both your heads focused on Rafayel, yet his expression changed. “Didn’t think you would come by so early..” he said, with a slightly annoyed undertone which surprised you and apparently the woman too, “should I come back some other time-” Rafayel quickly spoke a sharp yes, before his eyes landed back on you.

Shortly after you both were back alone, a blush still coating your cheeks, your one arm trying to hide your chest, while you held yourself on the chair with the other. Suddenly Rafayel stood up and walked towards you, before standing still in front of you.

As he leaned down, you didn’t know what to expect but certainly not, that he would push a strand out of your face, with a charming smile on his lips, “You know darling, I love that you’re so tall– more room for me to leave marks,” he said. It didn’t take long for you to blush in embarrassment, biting your lip.

“Then why don’t you show me?” you asked in a whisper, first you thought he didn’t hear what you said, but instead you heard a chuckle and a hand reached out towards you. Looking at the hand and then at Rafayel, you could see the way he looked at you. Still rather playful but there seemed to be more of a seriousness hiding behind the exterior, “Sure, anything for my mesmerizing darling,” he spoke.

And so you found yourself that day in multiple rounds of passionate sex, different positions, all the while Rafayel fucked you into the mattress and filling your hole with one load after another and the sweet words were uttered from Rafayel’s lips. Lovebites and hickeys littering your skin, while you were held tightly in the other’s arm at the end of the day.

You both watching as the sun slowly dropped below the waves, a kiss was placed on your shoulder, “Like I thought, you look so fucking beautiful beneath me,” Rafayel teased. A chuckle leaving him as you hid your face, before he turned serious, “I want to take you out on a date, [name].” 

It surprised you, but there you were already having slept with the man, so a date couldn’t be that awful right? 

Rafayel waited for your answer, and as you said yes, he couldn’t help but feel oh so giddy. He hugged you close to his chest, “Then we go when you can walk without pain, hm?” and all you did was huff, as your ears also turned red, “sure,” were the only things you uttered before both of you watched the sunset, before you slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

[flovverworks]

thought again how overwhelmingly lonely akira would become after everything while time does its healing. u go from having a twenty-something ppl around u at all times to being alone. no one to knock on ur door in the morning, no ppl going in & out, no chaos of sudden fights. even in the (more likely) case where akira forgets its like. this haunting feeling of having forgotten something u shouldnt have. guy who goes to every social gathering ever to have that chaotic energetic experience of having so many ppl around again

[noxtivagus]

hmmm i wna write

[z3rinn]

# #. I WANT YOU MORE.

in which link has secretly been pining for the new librarian, and when he finds out you like someone he goes a bit batshit. warning : theres some blood and yandere content ahead !!

this took so long omg T_T testing and everything was hectic, but i hope you guys like it! this was written with botw or totk link in mind !! is it weird that I love Zelda so much but I haven't written much for it?? yes. but uh. LINK !!!

Link had been blessed. That's what everyone told him. He was a hero. Someone who saved this land for more than a millenia. He weilded the legendary sword, the one said to seal the darkness. He was blessed by the Triforce of Courage, given to him by the gods themselves.

Link had many titles in life, many burdens he had to carry. It was his job, his duty as a citizen of Hyrule. His duty as the hero.

He had almost everything in life. An outstanding reputation, a good job that kept him steady and afloat. A big house, secluded from others but close enough to not be considered an outcast. Good cooking skills that could impress anyone. Girls flocking and cooing over him. Link was the perfect man for anyone. He had it all.

Except for you of course.

The cute castle librarian.

He first noticed you in the old, rundown, library. A place that definitely needed to be renovated. The hylian glanced around as he stepped into the room. Cracks and shatters littered the room, bookshelves were close to falling, and the roof just seemed to barely be holding up. Books were piled everywhere and anywhere the eye could see.

It was an impressive library, he had to admit. Just a bit outdated. Perhaps that's what gave the building its beauty though.

Link glanced over to the small door near the end of the library, noticing a person coming out of it. You must’ve been the librarian, he quickly realized. He sized you up and down, you looked… done, oddly enough.

Zelda was the one to first talk to you of course. You were the head of the library, so kind and soft-spoken. Links eyes stayed fixated on your form as you greeted him and Zelda, showing them around. It was obvious you were trying to impress the princess while still being as kind as you could.

However, Link watched closely, scrutinizing your form with his piercing gaze. He noticed the way you talked about the different books and architecture of the building in great detail. Usually people spoke about the details with great pride, flaunting how they were so well versed in the subject.

Yet Link could tell you were tired. Tired of your duties and being stuck in this library. The way you spoke sounded energetic, and the smile on your face could fool anyone.

Yet he noticed the way you deflated after speaking with the princess. As if you had said these words a hundred times over. It was all calculated. A prepared speech. You were tired. That much he could tell.

He was tired too.

☆

Link found himself gravitating to the library after his first visit. There was something about it that called to him. Perhaps the want to know of his ancestors and their accomplishments. Thats what he kept telling himself.

He wouldn't do much while there however, other than picking up a book ot two before taking a seat at the table closest to your desk.

He tried reading the books of course, and at first succeeded without much distraction. However from the corner of his eyes he watched as you worked. Placing books onto their shelves, helping out customers, and tidying up as best you could.

Link’s eyes followed your form wholly. Although he could still notice ths small details, like your walking being sluggish, the knight couldn’t help but gawk. You were just so captivating. So fluid with your movements.

The way you moved around so swiftly yet carefully, aware of what you were doing while still being carefree. You could balance various books in your hands, all in different sizes. You maneuvered across the children running around, being steady to not harm them.

A light laugh escaped your lips as you told them to be careful, this was a library after all.

Link could tell that laugh was genuine at the least.

The heroes gaze fell to his hands. He wondered how you could act so engaged while still hating your job. The book he held felt as if it weighed just as much as his sword now.

"Oh, if it isn't the princesses guard! Uhm, Link... right?"

Link’s head snapped up, his gaze meeting your own. He was quick to note that the library had become silent. He hadn't realized it, but it seemed as if it was only you two left in the library now.

"What brings you here?" You spoke with a soft smile on your face. A costumer service smile it seemed. You were probably just waiting for him to get up and leave so you could close shop.

You shimmied over next to him, eyes focussing on the book in his hands. "Ah, a book on the master sword. You must be reading about your ancestors, correct?"

Link nodded, as you came to sit besides him. "I can help if you'd like? I’ve been researching the master sword ever since I was young. I’ve always been fascinated by the legends and heroes that fought with it.”

You turned to him, “It’d be nice to learn from someone who actually wields it as well.”

You spoke with a smile on your face, it was bright and real. He noticed the way you glanced at the sword on the table. Awe and admiration in your shimmering eyes. It looked as if you wanted to learn about it for a while now.

Hm. A small smile grazed his face. Blue eyes shining down at you.

Perhaps this could blossom into a nice friendship.

☆

It seemed as if Sir Link was visiting your library more and more often as of late.

You couldn’t help but smile as you noticed him outside office window, seeing the familiar blonde hylian sitting at the desk closest to you. He always sat there, eyes glancing around for you before just sitting and silently waiting. You giggled, placing the book back on your desk before walking out of the small room.

Walking towards him, you reminisced, recallinghow much time had passed. It had been around a month since you first met the hero, asking him to collaborate with you.

It started off simple, researching the master sword while talking about the heroes of past. There wasn’t much meaning to it, in fact it was just pointless chatter.

I mean the both of you knew the same exact things anyways.

However, you couldn’t help but think of Link as some sort of idol. It was a practically a dream come true, being the wielder of the legendary sword. Almost every kid that had heard of it wanted to become the great hero.

It was an honor and a sign of courage.

But also a sign of power.

You sighed, well if you couldn’t keep the sword, you could at least be friends with the person that did.

So it was only obvious to propose your grand idea.

And ever since then, Link would visit whenever he was off.

Sure, you didn’t expect him to show up every other day, but Its not like you were complaining. Link was basically unreal. He had a pretty face, and great hair. He was quiet and mysterious, yet soft and kindhearted. Plus he could cook. Practically everything you could want in a man.

You tapped your fingers against the table, another sigh escaping your lips.

Hm. Too bad you were already engaged.

Sure it was a forced marriage, but you wouldn’t cheat. You couldn’t deal with that guilt on your conciseness. You had to do it for your parents.

Your soon to be partner wasn't a bad person. He just wasn't the right one for you.

You didn't like him.

If only you could make someone get rid of him.

Your eyes shifted to Link’s form, staring at him intently. A smile was on his face as he rambled on about his first time seeing the sword. There was a childlike joy on his face as he spoke.

He was experiencing an old memory. A vivid scene from his past.

You noticed Link seemed to be opening up to you more, speaking incessantly and happily. You couldn't help but smile too. He was just perfect.

Someone that was already wrapped around your fingers.

Link was opening up more and more to you throughout your time together. At first he was silent, just watching you speak. You were the one to hold most of the conversations, with him just humming or intensly nodding along. He was so serious it was kind of funny.

You knew he had gone through a lot, so you'd let him take his time. He could become closer to you as time passed.

It didnt take as long as you assumed however, as the shell he hid behind had begun to crack. He started to smile and laugh when you told him a dumb joke. He was relaxed around you, his stiff posture loosening with a soft look on his face.

He started speaking on his own as well. That was probably the biggest improvement. The first time you heard his voice you practically swooned.

Link opened up conversations now, speaking about his experiences and abilities.

Someone that was already yours.

“So Link,” you suddenly started, staring at the wooden table before you while placing your head on your palm. Might as well as do it. “Have you ever had a lover?”

You were nervous to look at him. It was an odd question for sure, and you weren’t certian if you were close enough to ask him. A moment passed. And then another. Sweat ran down your back. Perhaps you were right for being concerned, as Link was silent.

You couldn’t help but glance up at him, gazing into his eyes fearfully. However, instead of the disgusted and judging look you expected, you were met by red.

Links face was flushed scarlet, hot and warm. His eyes were wide and darting to every corner of the room, so obviously avoiding you. Their pretty blue color was accentuated by his reddened face. Magically, his pretty hair became disheveled, adding to the almost comical scene before you.

A small smile played on your face, mischievous and sly. You couldn’t help but giggle, "Have I struck a nerve?"

He looked away from you, albeit, while shaking his head. It surprised you honestly. He was oddly embarrassed for such a simple question...

A laugh escaped your lips, a joking tone laying on your tounge. "Really? I would've assumed the hero of hyrule would have a partner..."

You paused, watching his expression closely. He was just sitting there, listening to you intently. The blush on his face had slightly subsided, yet was still present on his pale face.

Was it right to say this now?

A smile grew on your face, elegant and sweet. Hiding your intent. "Especially since even I have one."

You looked closer.

It was subtle, but you could tell Link’s expression changed. His face fell, even if it was just slight. You could see his eyes grew wide, mouth slightly falling agape.

But as quickly as the shock arrived, it left.

A soft smile grew on Link's face, gentle and calm. It would've captured your heart if you didnt know him that well. It was so obviously sad it kind of hurt.

Eh. No. No it didnt.

"I'm surprised, you don't seem all that shocked...," you leaned forward against the table, placing your head in your chin.

The hylian simply shrugged, lip twitching as if he wanted to say something.

Suddenly Link stood up, stammering something about Zelda needing his help. It almost gave you whiplash with how quickly he tried to leave. What an obvious lie. You tried to hide the smirk peeking up on your face.

You didn't expect him to loose his cool that fast.

Instead, you mirrored Link's sad expression, standing up to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, I'm sorry to have taken your time away from the princess..." You flashed him a smile, patting his shoulder while trying to convey a solemn expression. "I guess I'll see you later?"

He nodded, taking your hand off his shoulder and keeping it in his. You noticed that he hesitated for a moment, eyes fixated on your softer hand.

He brought your hand to his face, gently kissing your finger tips and knuckles before turning away. You gaped, holding your hand close to your chest. Subconsciously, it seemed, that Link did the motion.

And he left you in the dust, just like that. With your heart beating and your mind racing. A smirk grew on your face, shining brightly as you giggled.

Link was the right choice.

☆

Link was sure he knew everything about you. From your favorite book to how many fruits grew in your backyard; despite never being formally invited.

It wasn't unwarranted for him to... conduct experiments per say.

You always told him to research if he was ever curious about something. And doing it hands on was one of the best ways to get good information.

So he researched, learning practically everything there was to learn about you.

Including your lover.

He just hoped you'd forget about them. Hoping you realized you didn’t need them. Link was so much better, he could love and care for you more than they ever would. He could protect you better then they ever could.

Your lover wasnt even there half the time. They didn't care for you. They didn't love you. They weren't right for you—

crash

Link stepped back, startled. He reached for his sword, before a light sigh escaped his lips, relaxing. A pretty vase sat in front of him. Now broken and shattered. He was getting carried away it seemed.

But Link cared for you. He was capable of everything. He could protect you. He would always be there for you.

He would love you.

Link would always love you.

Although. Sometimes he couldn't figure out why.

Perhaps it was because you spoke to him as if he was normal. Being the head librarian led you to learning heavily about Link's ancestors, and of course, their legacies.

They were all courageous hylians, heroes that were blessed by the gods themselves. Heroes that held the triforce.

Heroes he had to live up to.

But you didn't treat him like that.

While yes, you commented on him being a hero, and how he was lucky enough to have everything, you still treated him like a regular hylian.

You didn't judge him for his mistakes. Nor his skills. You laughed with him as you would a friend, jabbing and joking with him. No matter what he did, you accepted with a smile. Speaking to him as a friend would.

With you, he was like he was any other person.

He was so glad to have you.

It could've also been your mannerisms. You were gentle and soft-spoken, helping others with no compensation needed.

You were a model to many. The embodiment of a worthy citizen.

Yet there was also an air of mystery surrounding you. As if you knew more than you let on. It made you oddly compelling.

He noticed how you payed close attention to things. Just by the way he would speak, you could tell how he was feeling. Just by glancing over at someone's expression, you could tell what they wanted.

Link especially noticed how you looked at him. How you paid so much attention to him.

And only him.

Or maybe it was the way you slept with all the light's off. In pitch dark, no light whatsoever. It made it absolutely perfect for him to just stand over you in the night, breathing heavily over your gorgeous face. His hot breath mixing with yours—

Link blinked, glancing down at the broken shard from the vase in his hand. He had clutched it too hard it semed, as blood coated his hand.

It steadily dripped to the floor. A small pool of blood seeping into your wooden floors. It was red. Deep and scarlet like.

So different from the blood of monsters he'd slain countless times before.

He wondered how scarlet red blood would look pooling out of your lover.

While looking up at the clock on your bedroom wall he smiled.

Right.

You should've been home soon.

And he was right here waiting for you. :)

[just-some-random-blogger]

Bleach

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Joel wakes up in the middle of the night... not that he actually feel asleep to begin with.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: gender neutral!reader, allusions/depictions of joel's sleep problems (insomnia, apnea, nightmares), hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: ??? i was writing off tangent again???? so much so that i couldnt finish the fic and had to restart ???? help me T_T Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx

Joel always restarted his count at a hundred.

58, 59, 60...

He probably counted to a hundred a hundred times by now. He rubs his cheek against your chest. His bad ear beholds the thump behind your ribs.

If it wasn't official hours ago, it was official now. He couldn't fucking sleep.

Normally, he would fall asleep to your humming and hair combing. It worked like a charm, normally. But then again, normal and he were long strangers. He was best friends with fucked-up and hard though.

Joel sighed, pulling his head up to look at your face. Your face. His person's face. His person. The hand you tucked in his hair spilled to the side, brushing haphazardly on his cheek.

He presses his palm atop of your fingers as he shifted. He cups your hand cause it was holy. He brings his nose to the crook of your neck and sprawls over you, sealing you beneath him, arm coming around your form.

He rubs his cheek against your skin but then he stops himself when he remembers your complaints about beard burn.

He sighs, mentally noting he had to shave; he had to shave, he had to shave, he had to shave for you.

He purses his lips at the memory, the sound of you laughing, telling him you didn't actually want him to loose the facial hair; you like him like that, how ever he let you have him. You told him you only tell him to shave cause you know he'd never remember to actually do it, i.e., to grind his gears.

Joel doesn't have a bad memory. He knows he doesn't have memory problems. It's just that he doesn't care enough to remember something like that, to shave. And maybe that was a problem.

He freezes when you stir beneath him. He holds himself up as you push deeper beneath him, limbs wrapping around his body. He grunts then holds his breath as you maneuver the way you did every night like clockwork, clawing at him like he was a teddy bear, a big ol' teddy, cradled close to heart, close to your pulse, between your arms and your legs.

He relaxes after you still. Slowly, he allows himself to shift his body weight all the way down on you. He moves slowly, hands gripping your thighs as he made himself comfortable, flush on your form.

"Joel."

He is instantly stone.

He doesn't speak.

He waits.

He waits for you to continue, to say something.

He slowly lifts his head up and looks at you.

Your lashes are pressed together, your lips, so very slightly parted, your nose pointed to his, still, just like the rest of your body. You were very much asleep; you had just called out to him in your dreams again.

He gently shimmies down and sinks his face in the crook of your neck. He takes in your scent and lulls himself with you. He peppers kisses on your skin, mostly for himself.

Himself. He smells himself on you. He smells the bleach you used to get the blood stains off his shirt. Joel told you not to bother. It was a shirt, just another shirt. There were many more shirts. He didn't care at all for this one. But now-

He reaches out to your cheek and kisses your jaw.

-now it was special. Now, it was sacred. Now, he couldn't wear it unless he knew he wouldn't get it filthy. Now, he wore it like as his Sunday's best, though it was a beaten up grey tee from an obscene college that he knew nothing of. It hadn't even fit him well when he found it--it was too tight-- but after over-wearing it, it fit him like a glove, then it didn't fit him properly at all.

He wonders if he'll wear you out like his t-shirt, if one day he catches you frayed and tired, all cause of him. All cause of him.

You deserved better. You deserved so much better than him. You had light behind your eyes. You had hope. You still cared.

And he?

He was himself. He was Joel. He was tired. He was angry. He was cynical. He was him. Before and after the world had gone to shit.

You deserved better.

"Joel?"

He sighs at the soft sound that escaped your lips. He closes his eyes and brushes his nose against you.

He wonders what you dream about when you call his name. He wonders if he makes you laugh, makes you feel good, or if he just screams and bosses you around. He didn't mean to be so jagged. He doesn't mean to be so rough. He enjoys it about as much as you do; you don't. He can't help himself though. It's better this way. It keeps you both alive. It keeps him-

"Joel, how long have you been awake?"

Joel freezes.

You shift beneath him. He feels you look at him.

"Joel," you croon, rubbing his cheek with your thumb.

He keeps his eyes closed. He stays still. He can stay still. He can fake it.

"I know you're awake," you mutter, moving your hand, placing it on his, "you're rubbing my side."

Joel's hand stops moving.

You sigh, leaning in to kiss his head, "you should have woken me up."

Joel is tempted to retort. He doesn't.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Nothing. He says nothing.

You tighten your arms and legs around him. You dig your fingers into the roots of his hair. Usually, this made him burn, this made his insides rage, he saw it as a challenge, a challenge he so greedily was receptive to in his desire to break you against him. It was his trigger, his go signal. And yet tonight he just wants to keep you close, to keep you in place, to record the beats of your heart in his head.

"If you want me to believe you're asleep, you should have started snoring."

Joel sighs. "I don't snore."

He can hear your smile. He can see it exactly in his mind.

"How would you know that?"

"I know I don't cause you keep moving me in bed."

Joel's body vibrates with your chuckle. He feels the smallest of smiles creep unto his lips.

"You snore really bad," you add.

"Maybe for a few seconds," he mumbles.

He feels himself begin to go drowsy. Your giggles cease.

"You want me to sing for y-"

"I'm fine," he mutters tersely, "don't worry about me."

He feels you shift to get a better look at him. He denies you this and holds you back. He is selfish, he wants to keep you close. He is scared, he doesn't want you to see how desperate for sleep he must look.

He don't fight him. He is glad for it. He feels you relax beneath him. You rub his back. You sigh, "I'm always worried about you."

Joel breathes deeply, "you shouldn't be."

"I want to be."

He finally opens his eyes, "you want to be?"

"Mmm."

"Who in hell wants to be worried?"

You draw stars on his back. You want to tell him he's your north star. You don't. He'll fall into his self-loathing. You wish he'd stop doing that. So, instead you say, "because I love you, you dummy."

You don't receive a response.

But Joel heard it. He hears it. He knows it. He doesn't acknowledge it. He never does. He never will. Not right now, very much not right now.

You don't mind. You know his heart. You love his heart, though he tries so hard to hide it from you.

A long moment of silence passes. It lasts so long that he thinks you're asleep, but you're not; you're drawing on his back, soothing him with it like you always do.

Joel begins to count again.

1, 2, 3...

"You know I dreamt we were abducted by aliens. Like the ones with Sigourney Weaver."

"Aliens?"

"Mmm."

"..."

"..."

"What'd I do?"

You snort, "what do you think? You killed them all."

"..."

"Then we banged."

"Heh."

You rub your face against his, "you wanna know a secret?"

Joel closes his eyes, "tell me."

"I wish you gave yourself more credit."

He slowly draws his eyes open.

"You're temperamental, scary, and mean, and you're well-abled, strong, and capable, but it's okay if sometimes you're patient, pleasant, and kind, and if you're hurt, weak, and struggling," you link your hands together over his back, "doesn't make you any less, doesn't make Joel any less Joel."

He lets his eyelids fall.

You close your eyes and listen to his breathing.

He counts your pulses.

He was really sleepy now.

"Worrying makes us human," you mutter, "let me worry about you the way you worry about me."

Joel wants to disagree. He wants to tell you not to worry or else you'll go gray like him. He doesn't though. He knows it pointless. And he knows he'll never win. Not against you.

Okay, he says in his head, you win.

... at least tonight.

[onlyswan]

summary: in which jungkook won’t tell you what’s wrong and you get emotional motion sickness.

> angst, fluff / wc: 2.6k

> warnings: poor oc is hungry but gets nauseous from watching jk play mirror’s edge, one (1) ass slap, tearsss but i just love this couple very much T_T

note: my last post for the year, a humble gift from my heart <3 i hope you carry even a tiny piece of it with you to 2023 and always remember to treat yourself with the same kindness you give to your loved ones <3 i love you all :]

—

you muffle a groan, burying your face into the pillow underneath your head. jungkook switched between five games in two hours, and it seems that he ended up settling with mirror’s edge because he’s been playing it for almost an hour already.

you can confirm that your boyfriend is stronger than you in many different aspects, because you genuinely don’t understand how he’s not getting motion sickness from playing this game while you, the lone audience, has been battling with it the entire time. but most of all, because it looks like he can hold out on you for a long time, and even if your life depended on it, you can’t do the same to him.

you turn your head just enough to take a peek. his back is facing you from the foot of the bed. it’s been your view since you arrived in his room, along with the 50-inch television infront of him. you argued that he’s sitting too close to the screen again, but he only brushed you off with a quick it’s just for today, and he hasn’t spoken a word to you since.

not being able to physically meet for periods of time is normal in your relationship, but the less frequent communication from your boyfriend for the past two weeks has been concerning you. you don’t like it. you don’t like the shorter phone calls, and the fewer to no text messages. you don’t like his avoidant eyes, his dismissive words, and when he dismisses you altogether. you don’t like the gnawing feeling of something is wrong and i need to fix this when you’re completely clueless, lying on his cold bed by yourself.

when you catch him taking a break to drink water, you seize the opportunity to snatch away his controller. your knees sink on the mattress, and you slightly lose balance as you fall back on your bottom.

he reacts quickly, trapping you in between his arms to steal it from behind your back, but the rough complaint melts on his tongue when your eyes properly meet for the first time in what feels like forever.

“are you mad at me? did i do something wrong?”

jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach, his facial features softening at the sight of your glassy eyes begging for answers. despite this, you still can’t get a good grasp on what’s running in his mind. and it’s killing you.

“no, why would i be mad at you?”

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking.” you answer frustratedly, gripping the controller in your hand tighter. “we haven’t seen each other in weeks and you’ve been acting like i don’t exist since i came here. it’s already dinnertime and i’m hungry and upset and i- i fucking miss you.”

you chase his eyes as you speak but he takes a step back to recreate distance between the two of you.

“it’s not like that. i’ve just been distracted with playing.”

a scoff of hurt and disbelief escapes your mouth, his words and actions only adding salt to your unattended wounds. “are you being serious right now? do you even want me here?”

when jungkook realizes the stupidity of the excuse he came up with, it’s already too late. he’s just been jumping from game to game, running around aimlessly, avoiding the root of your present argument like a fool. the foreign expression of hurt on your face sends him scrambling to fix what the damage he caused.

“of course- of course, i do. that’s why i agreed that you should visit. because i miss you too.”

his desperate hold on your arms gets shrugged off when the controller lands on his lap, with you muttering, “well, it doesn’t feel like it.”

“baby-”

“it’s okay. go play your games. just wake me up when you’re ready to have a real conversation with me, okay?”

you crawl back to your side of the bed, tucking the blanket up to your shoulders and burying your face in the soft cotton. it does its job in encaging you in your own little bubble, but the smell of cozy baby powder snaps the thread of resolve you’ve been recklessly balancing on. tears drip from your eyes and stain the grey blanket shades darker. and you silently pray he would just continue playing his damn game already so crying would feel less suffocating.

“but you said you’re hungry, baby. let me make you something.” he coos, his big palm stroking your calf lovingly to coax you.

oh, so now he wants to be sweet and attentive?

“does that mean you’re ready to talk?”

and you’re met by the silence that you’ve come to recognize all too well.

“then nevermind. i already lost my appetite anyway.”

“okay,” he responds after a few beats, his lips replacing his palm on your naked calf for a chaste, feather-light kiss. and you want to scream because the intimacy of it all only makes the yearning for his love, his attention, and god, his presence, swallow you whole.

it’s difficult to have a fight when you’re the only one fighting.

you take the opportunity to wipe away your tears and sniffle as quietly as possible when the loud footsteps and grunts of his character fill the room again. but you couldn’t bear to watch another second of the game. you quickly pull back the blanket over your eyes, the nausea creeping its way back into your system and rendering you imprisoned underneath the covers. soon enough, you slip into a slumber.

jungkook exits the game after fifteen minutes. after that small altercation, he just couldn’t get into it anymore. the little butterfly sticker you put in the middle of the controller made it impossible for his mind to focus on anything else but patching things up with you. you designed the controller because it’s the one you always use when you play together, claims it’s the luckier one, and these days he finds himself instinctively reaching for it when he plays alone.

you’ve been leaving these pieces of you all over his life. you already told him that you’re in this for the long run. what is he so afraid of?

“baby, are you really asleep?” he whispers with his elbow anchored on the bed and the heel of his palm supporting his head. after gaining no response, he carefully lifts off the blanket from your face.

his lips curve into a frown as he traces your puffy eye with the pad of his thumb. making you cry is exactly what he’s been wanting to avoid, but it seems that this served as a lesson on what not to do instead. he created another problem in the process of concealing existing problems, and he hates himself for not considering your feelings firsthand.

he kisses your forehead, creating a light smacking noise as he does so, before whispering once more. “would you get angrier if i don’t wake you up? i feel bad about disturbing your sleep.”

“i would.” your eyelids slowly flutter open, droopy eyes staring directly at his wide, doe ones. “now, care to tell me why you’ve been ghosting me?”

it’s only been over a month since you said i love you for the first time, and the paranoia of what if he realized that he doesn’t want this relationship anymore will continue to keep you up at night unless you confront him about it today. as much as his answer scares the shit out of you.

“i messed up. i’m sorry. that wasn’t my intention.”

jungkook sighs heavily, sitting up on the bed and resting his back on the headboard to gather himself together. you’re always straightforward— you’re not afraid to ask for what you want. he knows he already said it before, but ultimately, this was the reason why he gravitated towards you. you’re a breath of fresh air. but on the other hand, he’s used to putting his best foot forward. it’s always about what they would be pleased to see, because if he shows them something they don’t like, he would get eaten alive. that’s just how he makes a living and how he keeps his passions within reach.

“then what were you trying to do, jungkook?”

but now that you’re sitting by his side, the anxiety he’s been fostering in his mind is starting to look ridiculous. how could this lovely human being wrapped in a blanket, adorably scowling at him, ever eat him alive? if anything, you would share the blanket with him and build a fire to keep him warm.

“things at work are just- they’re really a mess right now. it’s always been like that but it’s a different type of overwhelming and i’m scared because . . .” he pauses when he feels his voice faltering due to his emotions crashing like tidal waves along the rocky shore. he may not be able to look at your eyes right now but instead, he holds on to your hand resting on his thigh.

“what if we’re flying too high too fast because we’re being set up to crash? i didn’t- no, it’s just . . . if i talked to you in the past two weeks, i would’ve just complained about how i’m having a hard time over and over again and i would cry, or worse, make you cry.”

“yah! what’s wrong with complaining and crying?” you scold him in a whiny tone, wiping his tears away with the back of your hand while your own freely stream down your face. “you’re a human being above everything else. you have the right to feel your feelings. if you don’t, they will pile up and the weight of it will break you.”

jungkook’s head falls on your shoulder. he sobs softly as his tears soak through the material of your shirt, and the scene breaks your heart so painfully that it’s difficult to breathe. your fingers comb through his hair tenderly, and your hand pulls away from his to wipe off the tears on his chin.

“don’t treat me like a stranger. please. i love you. i know i won’t fully understand everything you’re going through because we lead different lives, but we can still share the weight of it, and we can cry it out together. won’t you let me do that? won’t that make you feel even a little better?”

when he lifts up his head, you’re surprised to see a small smile playing on his lips. you blink at him blankly in confusion.

“you’re not pranking me right now, are you?”

“no! why would you think tha-”

“if you want to break up, just tell me directly like a real man would!”

he panics. “no, no, no!” he catches your furious fists pounding at his torso, holding them securely to his chest to calm you down. “baby! listen- that’s the last thing i want!���

you cease your attack, chest heaving as you wait for him to explain himself. alright, you may not eat him alive but you sure can fight him.

“it’s just funny because i remembered that the hyungs said i should talk to you because you’re the only person i listen to.”

you look at him suspiciously, giving up your futile attempts on escaping from his firm hold. “well, were they right?”

“they were. they tried talking to me too, but i couldn’t shake off the fear of breaking down infront of you.” his grip on your wrists loosens. he peppers your knuckles with kisses before releasing you altogether. “turns out that’s exactly what i needed. my heart feels so much lighter. thank you.”

you climb on his lap quietly, hanging on to him like a koala bear, with your limbs wrapped around his waist and neck. you’ve been dying to embrace him again since the moment you watched him drive away from your apartment more than two weeks ago. you regret that you didn’t stay in his arms for at least ten seconds longer despite knowing that he wouldn’t have the time to meet up with you again in the near future.

“are you crying again?“ he asks worriedly after hearing you sniffle.

“i really thought you were trying to break up with me. i had no idea what i did.”

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry-” your cheek is granted with an apologectic kiss. “it was an asshole move.” and then your temple. “i wasn’t thinking straight. i’m sorry, baby. i promise all my free time is yours again.”

he gives a final kiss on the top of your head before resting his cheek on it, rubbing your back with gentleness. he blinks them away when tears also start filling his eyes again, but he only made it easier for them to fall.

“lean on me. use me. i want to be there when you need me the most, okay?” you pat his cheek softly, connecting your lips with his but it doesn’t even last for five seconds because-

“i can’t even make out with my boyfriend in peace.” you grit your teeth in irritation as you tug your bag closer by its straps. you lazily dish out your ringing phone from the pocket. after seeing who the caller is, you opt with setting your ringer in silent to let the call remain unanswered.

it’s the group leader in one of your on-going school projects, and you’re 100% sure he’s going to beg you to do another groupmate’s share of work because he’s not satisfied with them again. unfortunately, you’re not in the mood to be compassionate today.

“my love?”

“hmmm?” you hum absentmindedly as you scroll through the notifications from the group chat.

“why is my shampoo in your bag?”

“oh-” you smile hesitantly as scrunch your nose, eyes landing on the two bottles of shampoo nestled in the corner of your unzipped bag. “please forgive me. i wasn’t thinking straight either.”

“that doesn’t really explain anything.” he rolls his eyes jokingly.

“well- uhm- when i went to pee earlier, i thought there was a big chance i would walk out of your house broken up with you. then i remembered that you went to like ten stores to look for that shampoo when you ran out ‘cause it’s the best one you tried when you had bleached hair . . .”

the smile on his face gradually fades as the realization dawns on him.

“and you also told me that the production already got discontinued-“

“so if we broke up and you were angry at me, you would’ve stolen my shampoo?!” he exclaims, flabbergasted by your simple yet deliberate plan on delivering revenge. “how is that not thinking straight-”

“but for the record, i realized that i would feel guilty since you bleach your hair a lot so i wasn’t going to go through with it!” you abruptly defend yourself, taking out the bottles of shampoo and handing them over to him to strengthen your claims.

he tosses them aside to hold your waist, chuckling in amusement when you cutely pout at him. that’s what you always do when you try to get away with something. oh my god, he missed your face so much.

“why? if i was really planning to ghost you into a breakup then i would’ve deserved worse.”

“but you won’t do that to me.”

“mhm-mm. never.”

“and from now on you’re going to complain and cry to me when you’re struggling.”

he eagerly nods in agreement. “i promise. i love you.”

“i love you.” you give him a kiss on the lips before climbing off his lap to reach for the controller he left on the edge of the bed. “now i want to play fifa.”

he playfully slaps your ass, which doesn’t elicit a reaction from you because honestly, you expected nothing less.

“sure, but shouldn’t we eat first? it’s almost 7pm.”

you groan internally when the thought of food, and your boyfriend’s exquisite cooking at that, remains unappetizing. “you can eat first, babe. watching you play mirror’s edge really made me feel sick.”

—

taglist! @alanniys @jjkeverlast @queenofdragonsandcats @yvesismywife @enhypenslay @cramseys @witchfqllen @virgogentlejk @rkie @jeonwiixard @monilyv @bermudaisy @ameliejeannelaurent @takochelle @the1921-monsters @investedreader @seagulljk @yeow6n @yoonqkiss @hopeworldjimin @lllucere @unnatae @zqynmlk @bxbyyyjocelyn @zkdlllin @koostarcandy @tswisal1 @fragmentof-indifference @laylasbunbunny @jjk-jeongirl @cherishoshi @taexidriver @luaspersona @yn-lifeu @loveejkk + send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

[merakiui]

Not a request for full stories (unless you want to later on) Just typical mer eggs's rambles

But we will need to think about something about jade in captivity now. Maybe a small ramble?

What if both the twins were caught together maybe?

Ooooooo What if Floyd and/or Jade were the princess's present instead of Azul!!!

What if the princess wasn't the first born and wasn't married off?

Sincerely,

Mer Eggs Anon (idk why I sign off so weirdly every time lol-)

Jade in captivity!!!! Oh, he's a menace, even more so than Floyd usually is. Jade will intentionally act like he isn't super intelligent and witty when he's interacting with the researchers just so they won't think anything more of his capabilities. He keeps a lot of things about himself hidden, like the fact that he can mostly understand human speech and body language after observing it for so long. He is cooperative when it comes to the usual check-ups, but he draws the line at things like the researchers trying to poke and prod at intimate, sensitive areas like his gills or slit or fins. Jade smiles so cordially, speaking in calm clicks (though none of the researchers ever know that he's cursing them or saying terrible things about them in mermish lol).

His vocabulary isn't the biggest when it comes to human words, but he knows most of the basics. It's how he's able to communicate a little with you, but he waits a very long time before he actually speaks to you, gauging your threat level and whether or not he both trusts you enough to be entertaining and also if he likes you. You're so used to hearing his clicks and whistles and chitters, so when you hear a silky-smooth "Good morning," from him you nearly jump out of your skin. orz Jade loves to surprise...

:o omg if Floyd and Jade were gifted to Reader instead of Azul... there are so many possibilities. Unlike Azul who has mostly civil relations with the palace staff (up until the day he's transferred back to the sea, that is), Floyd and Jade are fearsome and unsettling. They intentionally scare the staff, only ever softening when you're around. They're small and mostly harmless as elvers (only because it's an unfamiliar environment and they have to assess every danger while conserving energy in case they do need to drop the harmless act and fight), so it's a great shock when they both quickly outgrow their tank. They grow to be such big, strong eels. T_T it terrifies the staff whenever they pass the pool and spy the twins peering out from the depths, but you've never once been scared. Sure, the twins can be...odd with their morbid humor and way of doing things, but they're your friends and they've never given you a reason to fear them.

In the event that you aren't betrothed, things are pleasant. You live within the palace, spending plenty of time with the both of them. When they reach sexual maturity and breeding season rolls around, things get difficult. You don't know nearly as much about eel mers as you should, so when they're coaxing you into the pool you feel a little worried. You don't trust their sticky smiles and drawling voices, and the way their bodies flush so brightly, the patterns nearly hypnotic with how vivid they are, something stirs within you. You feel bad about running off when they may need your help, but it's the first time you've felt unsafe around them.

The twins resolve to try a gentler, less direct approach. One way or another, you'll eventually find yourself sandwiched between them, their tails curling between your legs in the water. Even though you aren't betrothed, it's still a scandal if the princess falls pregnant before she's even found someone to marry. The circumstances are a little unique, though. Even the physician can't quite wrap their head around how it's possible, but the proof lies in your womb. Jade and Floyd filled you with two entire clutches and it leaves you so unwieldy and gravid. But you're just too precious. Now that they've claimed you as theirs, you won't ever have to entertain the idea of marriage to another human. :)

It may get boring living out cyclical days in the palace pool, but at least they have you. And one day they'll find a way to escape back to the sea. Once they do, they'll take you and the fry with them to pursue a happily ever after in the ocean. <3

[twstfanblog]

This is more of a worldbuidling question but what do the commoners live like in each district??? I'd there more of an emphasis on art in the west and everyone has like. Crazily painted houses or elaborate gardens, and do southern commoners have a higher cost of living because it's so expensive to shop there? In southern schools, is there a surplus of those kids that bring snacks to school and sell them because if how ingrained business practices are? Or is it just normal? I want to know more about the more middle class characters like Jack and Trey T_T. Speaking of which how did Ace and Deuce become Riddles servants 🤔?

Also what about the slums and Ruggie? Are there more slums in a certain district, I'd assume he'd be placed in the east... maybe the kingscholars like to cut costs and corners to make more profits, even though it leaves the general population poorer? Also do leona and ruggie ever meet in this au???

That's all my questions for now! I'm probably gonna have more but if you don't want to answer them that's totally fine! Hope you have a good day ^^!

*Cracks knuckles*

Ok, here we go. Long Answer coming!

The price of living increases the closer you get to the capital. So the slums of each area are around the edges of the district on the opposite side of where the palace sits.

Class-wise, the southern district is mostly populated by nobles since no matter where you go, it's considered prime real estate. So the South doesn't really have a slums, since its main population are rich commoners and business-owning nobles.

Oh the kids try...but the schools are already running school stores where you can purchase lunches, snacks, school supplies, small plots of land. You gotta be a very crafty school child to get your foot in the door starting a business while still in school.

Schooling is pretty standard across the empire, the southern district puts a heavier focus on math and reading though, just because most of the kids who do attend school normally end up working for their family business. East has a number of culture studies, the west has so many electives to pick from it's almost scary. Northern children basically get funneled into the military (The fuck are you feeding these kids? Why do they all grow up to be TANKS????)

Lord the West district is a nightmare to HOAs. So many houses all with different vibes and color palettes. The scholars who picked the middle ground and became architects building the most insane 'shouldn't be standing against a strong wind' kind of houses. The theming gets more uniform the closer to the capital, but that's just because that's the more tourist area, where all the big theaters and conference halls are.

Speaking in terms of just size, the East has the biggest slums of the empire. Since they are the main resting point for visiting diplomats, it became a culture hub and most of the immigrants moved their because it was more familiar to their homelands. in turn there's just A LOT of people there and sadly not enough work for everyone. at this point it's just cheaper to live on the edge of the empire than moving to the second cheapest housing; the West slums. The Northern slums are basically just living on a mountain and surviving off the land.

Ruggie and Leona do meet! As he gets older, Leona's fights with his dad get worse. One night it was bad enough that Leona just ran away and was missing for nearly a week. Ruggie finds who he assumed was a homeless man and helped him out a bit 'We've all been there man'. In his time in the slums, Leona finds a bit of purpose and wants to help the people he technically rules over.

Leona is found and leaves without saying goodbye to Ruggie. YEARS LATER, a servant of the Duke Kingscholar comes to the slums asking for Ruggie to come with him. Farena is slowly taking over the Duchy from their aging father and Leona listed Ruggie as a good choice for a consultant. Ruggie actually does pretty well in the role, just gotta give him a crash course in etiquette before every formal dinner he has to attend now.

Let me list where everyone is!

North

Jack lives with his family after his mother secured a tutor job for a noble child when they first came to the empire. Once in the north, his family of wolf beastmen flourished and lowkey are treated as untitled nobles.

Sebek's family has strong ties to the royal army since his grandfather served and is friends with THE LILIA VANROUGE. Sebek's dream is to join the army to continue his family's legacy (And maybe see the prince. HE RESPECTS HIM OKAY!? DON'T TEASE HIM ABOUT THE POEMS HE WRITES!)

Epel lives with his family on one of the many farms contracted to supply produce to the palace. As such they have very high standards of their produce and won't let you talk down to them even if they aren't nobles.

East

Ruggie moved to the empire with his 'grandma' in a big group of refugees when he was very young. He does odd jobs around the district to help support his community.

Rook was born and raised in the upper-middle-class East District. He only moves to the West District to further his art career once he comes of age. From there he meets Vil and they fall in artist love.

South

Azul's mother owns a very popular seafood restaurant. It's half in the water and displays the first shell coin her great-great-great grandmother made in the sea (For luck!). She married into nobility with Azul's stepfather who accepted Azul as his own.

The Tweels family aren't titled but with how many dirty dealings they've done with the various shady business owners, they might as well just buy a title. A very wealthy and dangerous commoner family

Trey's family owns a very nice bakery! With the high-quality baked goods and fair pricing, they're normally packed by commoners and noblemen alike.

West

Vil and his father live and breathe the theater. They've been living in the West since Vil's dad moved from the capital to help an old friend establish his theater.

Riddle lives with his mother and live-in attendants and is lowkey miserable but working hard to achieve in his studies. They use to live in the South, but his mother said he was distracted too easily there.

Deuce lives in fairly cheap housing with his mom and grandma. Deuce's mom travels from the West to the capital to work for a week then to come back for a week off.

Ace has a similar situation to Deuce with his mom AND older brother going off for work. It's why they take the jobs to be aids for Riddle. Also known as 'Riddle's mom had to buy him friends'.

The Capital

Cater's dad is a senior member of the imperial bank! He and his family live pretty cushy lives even though they don't have a title. Cater's looking to change that and has been studying how to bag a noble beau every social season since he was seven.

Silver lives in the palace with his father and Malleus since Lilia brought him home. His curse is slowly getting worse with age but he's still working hard so that he can try to pass the army entry exams.

I hope this answers everything! Let me tell you guys, world-building is much FUN!!!!

[cecil-marethyu]

My Totally Unserious Thoughts on the Mass Effect Trilogy (after playing it for the first time in 2024)

Mass Effect 1

Ma’am- Ma’am please- Ma’am, I need you to look to the left for me please.

Holy shit, I think I actually look pretty good.

Me during the Citadel View conversation: Okay Kaidan, I see you. I'm picking up what you are putting down.

But we’re trying to romance Garrus. Everyone’s up his ass, so I got to see what that’s about.

It has come to my attention that neither Garrus nor Tali are romanceable in the first game… Kaidan, I choose you.

NPC: It’s terrible what happened on Akuze.

Me: Oh yeah, Akuze, the Akuze where something happened, that Akuze (what the fuck happened on Akuze?)

…

THRESHERMAWS!?!?!

If I have to drive up one more steep-ass mountain to get to some minerals, I will lose it.

Kaidan: It seems you have quite a connection with Liara.

Me: I do????? I’ve talked to her one time. Like many things in this game about myself, that is news to me.

Ashley: something, something, something, scuttlebutt

Me: Who the fuck is scuttlebutt?

My brother: Kaidan (neither of us actually understand what scuttlebutt means)

I miss Nomad conversations.

Don’t mind me, I’ll just casually bypass this door on Noveria–

YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO COMPLETE ANY OTHER MISSIONS HERE

Andromeda Interlude: I went to go read my emotional support Jaal/Ryder fic, glanced at the author’s bookmarks, saw FemShep/Zaeed. This detour has taken an unforeseen turn and will take much longer than expected.

Okay, I’m back.

Time to go to Virmire, I know what’s coming

What the hell is that loud-ass noi- It’s Wrex. He is shooting his loud as hell shotgun at the water.

HOLD THE LINE

If I some how get Kirrahe killed, I will be very upset.

Oh, I guess I’ll take Kaidan and Liara with me to Ilos…. What do you mean I can’t change my party when we get to the Citadel? Wrex and Garrus want to shoot Saren in the face. They deserve it.

Here's my first Shepard for the hell of it

Mass Effect 2

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY EYEBROWS?????

I.. I can live with it. I don’t want to go through the whole character creation again (the concept of writing down a face ID has not yet registered)

Cue two hours of me being appalled by those eyebrows

She could not live with it

Okay, let’s try this again

Time to save Archangel…

The pyro vorcha has killed me three times, maybe even four. I’m making a terrible first impression on Zaeed.

I like talking to Jack, but she doesn’t like talking to me. (I like talking to everyone, but I yap too much, so they don’t want to talk to me anymore.)

We’re on Horizon. Kaidan is very salty, which is valid, I just like to be dramatic about it. My brother and I compare the reactions of Ashley and Kaidan.

LOYALTY MISSION TIME

Do you even remember that night before Ilos?

I accidentally talked to Jack one too many times and hit on her. I am so sorry

Kelly, I want you to feed my fish. Why don’t you want to feed my fish? (Apparently I was supposed to say “I’d embrace you” at the beginning)

Shepard’s dancing is terrible.

The Illusive Man wants to talk to me, I guess I’ll go do that– WE’RE IMMEDIATELY GOING TO THE SHIP. WHAT THE FUCK?? I haven’t even picked up Thane yet T_T

Jane “where my hug at” Shepard has entered the chat

Thane apparently has the probe upgrade, that would have been greatly appreciated several hours ago.

I deserved to get a long dress out of Kasumi’s loyalty mission.

I had reach, she had flexibility

Thane actually wants to talk to me >_<

Nevermind, he called me siha and decided to never speak to me again

Time to go fistfight a yahg.

I have once again yapped too much, an no one wants to talk to me anymore.

I brought Mordin and Miranda with me to the derelict Reaper. Good conversation choices, not exactly good husk destroyers. How many times did I use shockwave, you ask? Yes. The answer is yes.

Yaay, we finally got Legion.

I rewrote the heretics. I sense this may bite me in the ass.

Time to go through the Omega 4 Relay.

Mentally writing a fic where Shepard leaves a video message for Kaidan/tries to call, but he doesn’t answer

I know I have all the ship upgrades, and everyone is loyal, but I am stressed.

We made it.

I finally went back to the Shadow Broker base and talked to Feron. I’m in love…

There are only six fanfics for those who are curious.

I only recalled this because of a video I was watching, but… the cuntiness of Garrus in his recruitment mission. Like sir, what the fuck?

Second/Partial Third Playthrough

Already?! You may be asking yourself. The answer is yes apparently. I finished Inquisition, and my brother started his second playthrough of Mass Effect, and suddenly I’m here again.

I have spent a ridiculous amount of time debating whether I’m going to romance Thane or Garrus. I know I’ll romance the other eventually, but who will I pick first. Do I want to hurt my feelings or have fun?

I picked Thane. I have another save for when I get around to romancing Garrus.

I miss Kaidan, but not in a “damnit, Ashley’s here” kind of way. I just miss my man.

Mass Effect 3

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY FACE

I tried to fix it. I think I made it worst.

What the fuck is up with Shepard’s arms?

The entire Mars mission: Kaidan staring at Shepard when she isn’t looking. Shepard staring at Kaidan when he is halfway across the room. This is great.

I had to restart. I fucked up her face too much. She still doesn’t look like herself to me, but I’ll push through it (fucking weirdass mouth shapes)

Once again, what the fuck is up with Shepard’s arms.. And chest, and run?

I really should visit the council, but baby girl is in the hospital with his tits out. I gotta go

Shepard finally has her hoodie again, the weirdness is less noticeable now.

Saved the Primarch, so it’s time to see baby girl again.

Thane’s here too (don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry)

They actually go me , I thought I got Kasumi killed for a second.

They go me with Grunt too. I am stressed

The Primarch sure like to get in Shepard’s space

We have now lost Mordin and Thane.

Also, Kaidan during the coup stand-off “Don’t make me regret this” Bro, don’t make me fucking fight you.

Cortez, Jack, Joker, and EDI were all at the bar at the same time. Time to get lit

…

Got blackout drunk. Woke up on Aria’s couch

Kaidan has rejoined the Normandy. Shepard checked out his ass to an absurd degree

Everybody wants to come up to my cabin. I am constantly worried I’m going to accidentally hit on someone.

Kaidan is leaning

Me while Kaidan talked about EDI: 0_0 This is Jaal all over again

Had the Apollo lunch. I am constantly surprised by how horny Shepard is.

You weren’t there when I woke up this morning. Y’all fucking? Without my permission?

 Tali on Thessia was honestly kind of funny. I’m pretty sure that is a Prothean, Liara. Hey Liara, don’t you think that is a Prothean. PROTHEANS. I’ll bring Javik next time.

Citadel DLC was fun. Still wish Shepard had a fancy dress like everyone else, but that’s what daydreaming and writing fanfic that will never see the light of day is for.

I unfortunately didn't dress up before going to dinner with Joker, so when Kaidan was like, "Nice outfit." Shepard was standing there in her hoodie like, "... Whatever you say man."

James terrified me when he took his shirt off, but it was fine. And I beat his pull-up record.

Shepard and Kaidan obviously got it on. I don’t think I really need to say anymore on that.

I wish Thane’s picture stayed on the piano.

I obviously invited everyone to the party even though I wanted Zaeed to call me beautiful. Apparently that only happens if Javik isn’t there.

As much as I wanted to enjoy the moment with Kaidan before the Cerberus base, I could not because I am very self conscious and had an audience of three people in the room with me.

Me the entire time I was talking to hologram Zaeed: Why are we so up in each other’s grills?

I should have had Kaidan with me for the race toward the beam to experience the full drama of that. I had Javik instead, which was pretty dramatic anyways. I never expected you to reach for me like that bro

My brother chose synthesis when he played, so I went with destroy to see what that was like. I didn’t want to do that to EDI and the geth, but I did want to see Zaeed drinking beer on a beach.

I’ll preface this by saying, I didn’t go into this blind in any way, so I knew in the final scene Joker would be followed out by two “favored” squad mates, your love interest and second favored squad mate. I was expecting Garrus or James, so I was very bamboozled when Javik walked out.

Second Playthrough

Shepard is so much more defensive with Ashley, and accusative in a way. “Can I trust you to have my back?” What? Why is this even a conversation?

Ashley feels very underutilized in general. Like, her Normandy comments after bigger missions feel more vague and generalized compared to others. She only has one thing to say while others have three or four before they are done talking to you.

Talking to James during the Citadel DLC is a lot scarier when you don’t have a current romance. I don’t want to accidentally seriously come onto him. He doesn’t need that.

Also, why couldn't James have been an option to swoop in after Shepard's fall through the fish tank. Why is Liara the only option if you don't have a squadmate romance? Like, he already has that unserious flirting thing going with femshep. He would totally say, "Nice outfit"

I did want James to be the person I had my beam run moment with though. It was Ashley instead, which didn't make the most sense, but I was cool with it going that way too. And Garrus was the one holding Shepard's name placard, and Javik was the one who exited the Normandy after Joker and EDI, so really have no idea who my true ride or die was. I wonder if armax matches count as missions in the counter.

Speaking of armax arena, it makes no logical sense, but I wish Feron was a potential squadmate, or Bailey

The Thane romance has definitely hurt my feelings on several occasions. It’s great. I got to talk to him after the party too, so that was nice.

WHY AM I FIGHTING ALL THESE SHEPARDS? THIS FUCKING SUCKS

Because trophies, that’s why

There was probably something else, but tumblr decided to not save my edits, so I'm beyond the point of caring anymore

[lovely-showtimes]

akito x reader - the reader is normally happy but then had a breakdown due to parent issues

♡ . breakdown.

character - akito.

type - scenario.

contains - implications of a bad home situation, but nothing in particular is specified.

a/n - so sorry for how long this took, nonnie T_T i lost a whole lot of motivation ... i hope this was worth the wait at least ~

Ding dong!

"Akito, go get the door."

Akito sighs in annoyance as he hears his father's voice. Begrudgingly he stands up and leaves his room, dusting off his hoodie as he goes. It was pretty late, who could be at the door at this time of night?

Akito prepares himself to put on his 'nice' persona as he opens the door, but stops immediately once he sees who's there. His heart drops into his stomach and his grip on the door tightens.

You stood in front of him, sobbing quietly and rubbing your eyes, attempting to hide your tears. You were shivering, partially from the tears and partially from the frigid night air.

Akito snaps himself out of the brief shock he felt upon seeing you so distraught and steps forward, pulling you into his arms. You wordlessly cling onto him, seeking the comfort only he can provide. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and caresses your back tenderly. It's a special type of gentleness that only you receive.

Even though the two of you are standing outside, it's the warmest you've felt all night.

Akito eventually speaks up, his voice a low murmur. "Let's go inside."

You nod feebly, allowing him to lead you inside. The moment you catch a glimpse of his room, you feel more at ease. You've been here so many times, and every time, you're treated with nothing but love and kindness. This place is infinitely more comforting to you than the place you should call "home".

Akito sits you down on his bed and tightly wraps a blanket around your shoulders, before sitting down beside you. You instinctively lean against him, causing him to hug you close to his side.

The two of you are quiet momentarily. The only sounds to be heard are the rustling of leaves outside, movement elsewhere within Akito's home, and your quiet, shaky breaths.

Before Akito can say anything, you speak up.

"S-Sorry for, uh, popping up out of n-nowhere," you mutter. "They... I-I mean, I didn't want to, well. Be there. Anymore."

You screw your eyes shut and rub your face, letting out a sigh that sends a shudder through your whole body. When you had rushed out of your home, you hadn't even thought about where you were going. You were just running, and running, and running...

...until you ended up on Akito's doorstep.

Akito snaps you out of your thoughts by resting his cheek on the top of your head. "Don't apologise, seriously. You can always come to me. Especially in a time like this."

He rubs your back. "Do you wanna stay here? While everything's, y'know, calming down."

You lift your head to look at him, which causes him to frown slightly. It's the first time he's seen your face properly tonight. He hates seeing you like this.

"Is... Is that okay?" You ask softly. "I mean, what if your parents aren't find with it?"

He shrugs. "Don't worry about it. My mom likes you, she wouldn't say no to you."

That made you feel a little better, at least. You crack a tiny smile and hide your face in Akito's shoulder again.

"Thanks," you murmur. "Can we stay here, please? For a little while?"

Akito kisses the top of your head. "Of course. I'll always be by your side, 'kay?"

"...Thank you."

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Back with an update after a long break~~ (thanks anxiety (sarcasm))

Hopefully I've kicked anxiety's ass for the time being and am now in the swing of things~~

I still hate the map tho a little bit. Didn't realize you could press B to center the map, thank you for the tip~~!! idk why or how I didn't find that out myself.

Woman's Ring quest complete~~!! as well as the gryphon talons because I was grinding a good deal of them before. I missed one moss somewhere and need to go find it, annoyingly enough. and slay ortherus.

You can complete some quests multiple times? Is it worth it tho? Gryphon talons are just "get the talons, go to K's tavern to deliver, get 30 macca (?) each time" might be worth if you're grinding at the entrance for whatever reason... idk. what do you do with gryphon talons or fu xi feathers anyway? tried to sell them at B's i think and they didn't appear there.

I wonder if I'm overleveled a little bit? The disaster horde or whatever I fought for the ring chest went down with a zan from flynn, a bufu from centaur, bouncing claw from gryphon, and a grahm slice from lahm derg... it hit me once...

I can fuse now and it's probably a good idea; but I've kind of grown attatched a bit to the demons I have... but they also have all of the skills they'll ever know now anyway I think.... could be wrong. but I think you get the "demon whisper" when they've learned all possible skills? so despite growing attatched to them, time to fuse them into other demons?

Update on skills and roster:

Flynn - lvl 7 - still upping primarily magic, luck, agility - still bufu, zan, critical wave

Centaur - lvl 6 - bufu, needle shot

Gryphon (new!) - lvl 5 - bouncing claw, lunge

Lham Dearg (?) - lvl 5 - grahm slice, critical wave

Fu Xi - lvl 5 - zan, patra

Napaea - lvl 4 - dia, dream needle

Myrmecolion (? new!) - lvl 3 - patra

Mokoi (new!) - lvl 2 - zio

tried to use mokoi's zio on a chagrin, immediate death for mokoi. also tried to recruit a chagrin many times..... nope. it's mokoi all over again~~

hooray~~!!

Progress~~!!

Now what? fuse to see what that's all about, hunt for moss, defeat ortherus and continue on?

I hope that if I take a break from this game for a little bit, that break isn't another entire month. getting in the swing of things and hadn't seen Charon this entire time. Almost died but then thanks to napaea's dia, survived.

(gets comfortable, has an SMT moment)

I put gryphon in front instead of Fu Xi because gryphon nulls zan and is weak to the same thing as Fu Xi anyway... also more HP. so only had flynn be zan during that fight.... Still won but makes me worried I spent too much time being afraid because (idk how to read the map (keyboard smash and yelling for help) and stayed by the door grinding for a good bit. as per my last update on how the play through was going.

Is still fun and the music slaps~~!! glad I got into SMT through the music.

I've done some stuff~~ Break time to decide whether I want to fuse demons, and how. just yolo and see what happens? or have certain ones in mind with certain skills?

Then I'd have to recruit everyone again T_T;;

It's not pokemon, don't get attached to your demons, they're nothing but fusion fodder for stronger demons...

I'm attached anyway.

there begs the question~~! trying a challenge run so to speak? where I only use demons of a certain alignment? might be law cause I'm probably going to the law path anyway if I'm being honest with myself....

finally getting somewhere~~! Finally getting comfortable with navigation~~!! Finally get demon fusion app~~!!

break time~~! hopefully for a lot less long than before~~!!

I wanna punch navarre~~~ casting false aspersions of the poor~~~ feel like he's making fun of myself irl cause I am actually poor irl, lol.

proud of myself for this too~~!! get zan anxiety~~!! let fun things be fun~~!!

(new!) demons are new ones that I've acuired through fusion or negotiation; negotiations at this point because I didn't have access to fusion when I got them.

It baffles me how demon negotiations go sometimes. give stuff, say a thing that makes them not attack you, or try again later, give them stuff, don't like giving macca, and I usually refuse after 2 things. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

like was it gryphon? idk.. someone told me to dig with 3 dig options, i chcose the middle one, got a life stone, then promptly gave it back, and they became my ally? what?

same thing sort of with mokoi with the (I'm waiting for someone) and they're like "I'm the person you were waiting for" becomes ally. ?????

???????????

you bet your sweet macca that I saved after those, baby~~!!

good things can happen in this game???

update cause I dug through my posts and the last update was June 18th. the break wasn't a month long. I thought it was, lol.

[shiki-aki]

Do you know how much Akira being Shiki's caretaker and guardian means so much for me in ED1?

Because being caretaker is so frustating (believe me I was the main caretaker for my late grandma in her last months and it isn't easy), I have to be patient to ny grandma who had dementia and regressed to be childish and likes to throw temper tantrum, my mental health went to the sewer, i barely manage to take care myself, my life is falling apart, im sleep deprived, i feel alone, there is many times i want to run away but i have obligation and i loved her so much to abandon her. She was like a second parent to me

My situation with Akira isn't the same, Akira doesn't have to deal Shiki throwing tantrum but he had to deal assassinations going after them in an POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD WITH NO HEALTHCARE AND STABLE PLACE AND LITTLE TO NO FOOD??? THAT SPEAK SO MUCH DEDICATION, AKIRA DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO TAKE CARE OF SHIKI AFTER WHAT HE HAD DONE?! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIKI'S SHIT ANYMORE AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BUT NO. THIS MAN JUST STAY WITH HIM

ALSO SANITATION

Sorry, for the capslock, I got excited for a moment...

Ig this speak so much i liked the ED1 too

I definitely wasn't expecting to wake up to this, but thank you so much for this ask, I really loved reading about your experience and how ED1 resonates with you <3.

(Putting a 'read more' because my response is quite lengthy and treads into meta territory)

I don't have any experience with being a caretaker but gosh that sounds so stressful T_T. I really hope you're doing better now, and that hopefully your grandma was still able to live her life peacefully until the end. To be honest, when I think about ED1, I don't really consider the more sad/distressing aspects of it, like Akira having to be on the run with Shiki for 2 years and doing everything for him, so this was a bit of an eye opener for me. I did write an ED1 fic where it kind of detailed their life while on the run, but it wasn't that depressive, and instead focused on Akira's bittersweet feelings toward Shiki TwT.

But same, I really love how dedicated Akira is to taking care of Shiki in ED1. I think that, no matter what, Akira is the determined type of person who won't give up. He already experienced what it was like to lose Keisuke, so he doesn't want to lose Shiki, either. And I know I haven't finished my meta yet but I'll just spill a bit of my thoughts for why Akira follows Shiki in ED1:

Shiki was the one to bring back Akira's will to live when Akira was at the lowest point in his life. If Shiki hadn't found him in that alleyway, Akira would've let himself get killed by any random Igra fighter. Shiki's route is different from Motomi's/Rin's in that Akira actually sees Keisuke die in front of him, while in the other two, Keisuke just runs off, so Akira clings onto the vain hope that Keisuke is still alive. Yeah it's fucked up how Shiki went about bringing back Akira's will to live, but let's be real, that's exactly the type of character he is lol, and what I love about it is how it makes sense for him to kidnap Akira and rape him, based on Shiki's obsession with Akira's determined and defiant nature.

So now, when Shiki is at the lowest point in his life and has lost the will to live, it's Akira's turn to do the same for Shiki and force him to continue living. Which is why he sticks by Shiki's side for 2 years even when life seems absolutely miserable. (GOD I FUCKING LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH I JUST SFDGHFDHGHSDFHSDFHSDH they really get each other tbh).

But even though life seems miserable, Akira doesn't view it that way (and this is also why Shiki's ED1 is my favorite and why I personally think it's the one that most beautifully completes Akira's character arc). Like look at this:

It's so starkly different from Akira's POV at the beginning of the game. When Akira was in the CFC, he didn't care about anything and he certainly didn't wax poetic about the scenery (not that the scenery in CFC is pretty but like, you get what I mean lol). We can tell Akira is different in ED1, that his very philosophy is different, because he's looking at life from a new perspective now, taking the time to appreciate the nature around him and just... the simple fact of being alive. Whereas at the start of the game, Akira didn't see a meaning to his own life and was living just because. In Shiki's ED1, Akira does see a meaning to life, and it's why he takes care of Shiki and protects him. Because he finally understands how valuable life is, and how you should cherish it.

But I'm gonna go back to the tunnel scene real quick to touch upon what exactly Shiki said that changed Akira's perspective and made Akira want to follow him:

Akira, his whole life, was looking for a purpose/meaning to his existence, and now he's finally "found" it, but not in the way he expected. After learning about his own past/backstory and how he was experimented on in the past, Akira starts thinking that the only reason for his existence is to be a test subject/experiment, and that his blood dictates his existence. He starts having an identity crisis basically, especially since he already saw how his blood hurts/kills people (Rein users, Takeru, Keisuke), and that the whole reason for why Emma and Gwen wanted to capture him was for his blood so he could be further experimented on.

So Akira starts falling into this hole, thinking that his worth in life is only determined by his blood. And then he turns to Shiki and asks if Shiki wants to kill him, because he expects Shiki to view him as only the "null-Nicole carrier" and not Akira as a person. He knows that Shiki hated Nano for having a virus in his blood, and Akira also has a virus in his blood, even if the effect is different. So he fully expects Shiki to kill him at this moment.

And then Shiki tells him: "You're mine. That's all there is to it."

Shiki says exactly the right words Akira needed to hear at this time. He's not going to kill Akira, because he doesn't view him for his blood, but for who he is as a person. Now let me make it clear that Shiki isn't the most emotionally intelligent person out there lol but I think, even during this moment, he saw how conflicted Akira was feeling about his own existence, especially with regards to the blood thing.

So Shiki... comforts him in his own special way by saying that he won't kill Akira because Akira is his possession, but also remember that Shiki made Akira his possession in the first place because he was interested in Akira as a person. When he kidnapped Akira, it was because he was fascinated by Akira's resistance and defiance and determination. This is as close to Shiki saying he likes Akira for who he is as you're gonna get, and what I love about this dialogue is how it keeps Shiki entirely in-character. He's not gonna coddle Akira or sugarcoat his words, and he's also going to hide his true feelings by saying that Akira is just his possession, but his true feelings are there in how he refuses to kill Akira. Because again, he views Akira as his own person, and not just as someone carrying a dangerous virus in his blood.

I'M GONNA STOP HERE BEFORE I RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT. Let me just add this one last scene from the game to end it off on this point lol.

Shiki had told him who he was: that he remained Akira, no more, no less, despite the tainted blood in his veins. That was why Akira had chosen to stay, to be as near as he could to the core of who Shiki was.

At the end of the day, this is what I love about Shikiaki. This is why I ship them so hard. Because they truly understand each other, they see each other for the "core of who they are" and are drawn to each other's character traits. Shiki dedicated his whole life to killing Nano because of the "dirty virus" in Nano's blood, but him refusing to kill Akira even after learning about how Akira has the same blood origin speaks VOLUMES about how fond he actually is of Akira, and how he views Akira as his own person.

And I feel like, at the end of it all, Akira just wanted someone to understand him and see him for who he is. He had a difficult time communicating with others his whole life because people didn't like his terse and reserved nature (even his own best friend didn't like that side of him). But Shiki doesn't care about Akira's emotionally stunted nature; he cares about how Akira is determined, stubborn, prideful, and how he doesn't take shit from anyone lol. And Shiki likes every side of Akira. His route is the only one where Akira didn't have to drastically change his personality just to make the romance work, but Akira's pre-existing character traits were strengthened over the course of Shiki's route.

*TAKES DEEP BREATH* OKAY YEAH SORRY I RAMBLED A LOT THERE and that's not even all my thoughts tbh, that's just like. A third of it LMAO. I'm saving the rest for my meta.

But okay going back to your ask, yeah the sanitation aspect is one that I don't want to think too heavily on lmao. I think it just speaks to how much Akira cares for Shiki though, that he would help "clean" Shiki up, and how again, Akira is doing all of this because he recognizes how precious life is, so he won't abandon Shiki, because Shiki didn't abandon him back in Toshima.

NO DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING EXCITED ABOUT ED1 I LOVE THIS ENDING SO MUCH I LOOOOVE TALKING ABOUT IT. I ALWAYS END UP WRITING A WHOLE ASS ESSAY WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT IT. I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKE ED1 AS WELL, I feel like many Shikiaki shippers hated ED1 back then because it was so sad, but I feel like in recent times people understand and appreciate ED1 for what it is? And that makes me happy ig lol, like don't get me wrong I adore all of Shiki's EDs but ED1 is just. IT HITS DIFFERENT. And I hope that in my meta I'll be able to explain why ED1 is just the perfect ending for Shiki and Akira's story despite how sad and angsty it is sfhsdhfhdghfdghgffdg.

Thank you so much for the ask and I'm sorry I wrote a long ass response in reply omg I was just really excited reading your thoughts!!!

[anyreiart]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

How many works do you have on A03? 153 (but more are coming)

What's your total word count? 3,725,829 (also a lot more coming XD)

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Supernatural but I also write Sherlock and Guardian (镇魂)

Top 5 fics by kudos: In A Mirror, Darkly (with @queerwolfsstuff): 3,068 Kudos

Playing With Fire (with @queerwolfsstuff): 1,748 Kudos

That Wasn't Supposed to Fucking Happen! (co-written with @queerwolfsstuff): 1,387 Kudos

The Heart of Ophelia (co-written with @queerwolfsstuff): 1,357 Kudos

Touch of Silence: 1,267 Kudos

Do you respond to comments? I wish I could respond to every comment but sometimes I don’t have the spoons and now I have over 4k of unresponded comments. I read and love all of them!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I’m a firm believer in a happy end, so I don’t really write angsty endings. I think the closest to an angsty ending it probably my short fic “Hello, Old Friend” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789934) where Cas and the Empty talk at the end of times.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them lol

Do you get hate on fics? I think in bookmark descriptions people hate more easily. I’m not sure if it’s on purpose or if they just don’t know that we can see them. And those are annoying cuz you can’t delete them. I tend to block people though if they leave hate. In comments it’s more annoying concrit at times (like dudes, come on. It’s my fic, you didn’t pay me to write it. If you don’t like it, just leave.) But I would say 99% of the comments are really really nice and supportive.

Do you write smut? LOLOLOLOLOL… um, yes. @queerwolfsstuff and me also do a smut week sometimes (we have another one planned) where we post a smutty fic every day for a week. I also have a series of Short Stories that are all smutty: https://archiveofourown.org/series/342853

Craziest crossover?I have a crossover fic with SPN/Buffy that I will post this month! But I’ve written a lot of fusions and crossover fics before. My first one was a crossover with Angel/X-Files and NCIS LOL (It’s not on ao3 cuz I wrote it in my native language)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I think we all have fics stolen by now thanks to AI bots getting trained on our writing. I locked all my fics down for that reason so they are not so easily accessed anymore. There was also an app once making money from our fics by stealing all the links, hence why there is a disclaimer on my fics that they were uploaded on ao3 and if you read it somewhere else it’s stolen. I also co-wrote a fic with my bestie @queerwolfsstuff that was “controversial” for a few people because it had a poly ship in it. And someone who didn’t like that part of the fic wrote a very very very similar fic a bit later…

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!! And I love that so much! Translating is soooooooooo hard (i know cuz I tried to translate my older fics to english and ughhhhhh) We (my writing partner in crime and me) have a few fics that are translated to Spanish, Russian and I think even Chinese!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? All the time! So much so that I despise writing alone T_T 

All-time favorite ship? I don’t have a favourite ship but I’ve written the most for Dean/Cas and Sherlock/John 

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?I have only one WIP on Ao3 and I write terribly slow (the torture of writing solo) but I’m so close to finally finishing it, so it will def. be done.

What are your writing strengths? World building

What are your writing weaknesses? Writing in a different language is really hard. I feel like constantly hitting a limit because my English skills only carry me to a certain point and not further.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I speak a few other languages so I love to sprinkle that in. The character I write the most knows all human languages so it is fun to use that!

First fandom you ever wrote in? Star Trek and the X-Files

24. Favorite fic you've written? I love them all but “In A Mirror, Darkly” will always have a special place in my heart. In terms of solo fics I think my favourite is “Guide My Way Through The Night” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969945/chapters/63132118) I’m very proud of that one.

I tag @casblackfeathers, @malicmalic, and everyone who wants to it!

[kudouusagi]

Hi! first thank you so so so much for the translation you do some really good work! the quality of your images, cleaning, typesetting, and the translation itself are so good!

I really appreciate that someone is still translating this in english, Koisuru Boukun means a lot to me :,) I started reading it as a teen figuring and I recently realized that I’m now the age of Morinaga in the beginning T_T

I wanted to ask something about the censoring in this manga. Is it the Takanaka Hinako Sensei’s decision to leave blanks where dicks should be or is this something that has to be done to be publishable? I know it’s like this in many yaoi that were/are published in popular bl magazines but I wonder if it’s more a convention or a rule. I’m asking because I’m re-reading the series right now and I just noticed that in volume 5 extra (the night in Canada from Tatsumi’s pov) there is a fully drawn dick lol it struck me as odd.

tangentially, I was wondering if you know if anyone is going to pick up scanlating Wananaku Kiba no Daria? there’s only volume 1 online but 3 volumes have been published.

sorry this is getting long, thank you for bring the backbone of this english speaking community.

ps: do you ever need help with cleaning and/or typesetting? it’s a lot of work. if you do I’d like to offer my help,, I don’t speak Japanese but I know how to clean raws and edit them.

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words <3 I put a lot of work into it.

For censoring it's a Japanese law that it is illegal to show realistic genitals in any form. Their live action porn is censored, their mangas are censored, the lady who made a boat of her vagina was arrested and fined. The least amount of censorship they can get away with depends on how politicians are feeling about it at the time and what magazine it was published in. GUSH tends to be on the higher censorship side but Takanaga never draws penis in any of her stories. Some other artists in other magazines fully draw the penis and only add black bars over small parts of it.

As for that penis... it was added by the scanlator at the time. I've commented in my discord before that I should make a FAQ post about that panel saying "No sorry that penis was added by the scanlator" because people talk about it all the time... well I guess this will be it lol

This was the original panel in Japanese before the scanlator added the penis.

No penis to be seen.

I don't know if anyone will continue scanlating Wananaku. I figure if they haven't by now they're not going to but never say never lol.

I do need help with cleaning! If you message me here or better yet, on discord, we can talk about it!

[world0fmadness]

HERALD OF DEMISE

tomas “ samoth ” haugen x reader

♡ general dating headcanons for samoth!

୨୧ still kind of can’t believe people actually like my stuff enough to request things T_T i love it, i hope you like this anon! reader is referenced to have boobs and be shorter than samoth but they’re not major things <3

♡ requested by anon | related hc available here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: when the dead walk the earth by gorefest - black millennium by mutiilation

♡ as i mentioned in his nsfw alphabet, samoth is a huge fan of your boobs!

୨୧ when you guys first met, his eyes were glued to them, watching them softly bounce as you walked towards him

♡ he gave you a quiet but firm greeting, his voice deepened with a cloud of lust shadowing over his head as he kept his eyes on your chest before slowly raking them up towards your face which was just as hypnotising for him

୨୧ yeah, he’s a confident man… quiet but confident, well, quiet unless he feels he has to speak up about something

♡ he had so many fantasies about you before you guys started dating, it was bad… he felt like a teenager in high school getting his first crush, he imagined doing everything and anything with you

୨୧ you guys probably got together after he finally made a move on you and you hooked up one night, he knew he felt something deeper for you and asked you flat out if you wanted to try out dating! and alas, you did <3

♡ he’s a pretty protective guy and his height comes in very handy with scaring off unwanted attention

୨୧ oh there’s a guy very clearly bugging you whilst samoth is grabbing some beer at the bar?

♡ he’ll walk back over, place the beers on the table and loom over you whilst staring the guy right in the eyes, raising an eyebrow

“ d’you need something? what’re you bugging my girlfriend for? fuck off… dickhead… ” ( his voice gets so deep when he’s irritated or angry, it’s hot as shit and he knows it )

୨୧ after scaring the guy off, he’ll usually make sure you’re fine, gently patting your knee and taking your hand in his

♡ samoth absolutely teaches you how to shoot his revolver!

୨୧ he takes you out to the woods and sets up some glass bottles for you to shoot, getting behind you and leaning down to place his chin on your shoulder, firmly positioning his hands over yours on the revolver and fixing your aim whilst whispering in your ear

“ move your finger closer to the trigger, right here… that’s it, y’got it… mhm, move a little to the left here ” ( you try so hard to not let lust overtake you at the deep whispering in your ear, his big hands on yours and his crotch pressed up against you )

♡ when you’re about to shoot, he’ll remove his hands from yours and place them over your ears, just for the first shot so that you don’t get shocked by the loud bang

୨୧ if you manage to shatter one of the glasses on your first bullet, he’s so proud! looking down at you with a boyish smirk before softly smacking your butt and placing a gentle kiss on your head, proclaiming you’re a “ natural born gunslinger ” as you laugh and lean into him

♡ he loves when you wear his necklace! to him, it’s a sign that you love him and always want something to remind you of him and for outsiders, it’s a sign that you’re very much spoken for

୨୧ i mean, samoth would never give his necklace to just anyone! he has to really feel an immense love for them and trust them, some may say it’s just a necklace but it isn’t to him

♡ samoth is a major shower guy! he’s kind of just too tall to take baths so he opts for showers, almost always pulling you in with him

୨୧ sometimes he forgets just how tall he is and stands in front of you in the shower, effectively blocking almost all of the water from hitting you

♡ often times you have to laugh and tap him on the shoulder for him to realise he’s blocking you from getting any water

୨୧ he’ll just give a deep chuckle before taking your hands and pulling you in front of him, placing his hands on your hips and leaning down for a kiss

♡ you’ve probably worn his turtleneck top so many times! it’s pretty big on you but feels amazing to wear in autumn, i just know it’s so comfy and smells exactly like his natural musk and just a tiny hint of his aftershave

୨୧ he loves when you wear it, it always brings a tiny smile across his face before he accuses you of only being with him to steal his clothes

♡ he really likes when you sit on his lap! wether it be at home or in a public space

୨୧ no matter your height or weight, he’ll always pull you over onto his lap and mumble in your ear to make yourself comfy whilst roping an arm around your waist, his fingers tapping three times as a silent “ i love you ”

♡ i can see samoth being really into PDA but in a kind of strange way

୨୧ he doesn’t participate in PDA to look cool, he just generally likes kissing you and feeling up on you…

♡ this man will never not be tightly holding your hand in his as you walk somewhere, he’s a huge fan of hand holding! it’s one of those small things that he can’t get enough of for some reason

୨୧ i feel like he probably runs hot so his hands always warm yours up SO good in winter and just anytime you’re cold! if that still doesn’t warm them up completely, he’s definitely one of those guys who will bring your hands up to his mouth and blow into them whilst rubbing them to try and warm them up for you <3

♡ one time you mentioned how you should really pick up some mittens or gloves and he nearly yelled but he quickly composes himself

୨୧ he tells you he thinks body heat is much better, gloves? gloves are no use, just hold his hand… no way is he losing this, he loves holding your hand and warming it up for you but won’t just admit that

♡ samoth is seriously just so pretty and i bet he’s totally one of those guys who secretly loves being pampered by their partner

୨୧ i mean, he’ll definitely act like all the cream and products you’re putting on him are useless and stupid but deep down he really likes it!

“ fuckin what? the hell is that? and what’s that do? you’re buying bullshit, babe, bullshit… and why is there so many different names for this shit? ” ( he grumbles and moans but if this stuff makes you happy, he’ll buy as many bullshit face creams you want… as long as you let him give you a facial if you know what i mean )

♡ he’s never really had someone care for him this much and you fingers massaging creams into his face feels really fucking good…

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi ari yes! you are welcome

geto canonically (at least i believe so don't quote me) carries a lighter around just for shoko (he makes me want to die he's so sweet and tender) but i love how that doesn't stop most everyone from hcing/drawing him as a smoker god i hate cigarettes but he's soooo hot oh god i should be the cig instea

oh man geto hating himself for making the reader cry... some things never change... i'm in pain again. oh goodness i think. fluff. SPEAKING OF WHICH do you have any fluff recs for suguru? (i've already read all the ones from kissxcore and go6jo though). tumblr search engine fails me every time i try to read

and YES i was fast that's cause i was kind of (really) waiting for this all day and i saw it n howled a little bit wow. never a dull moment on this blog

YOU’RE SO SWEET 🌖 ANON MWAH MWAHHH <33333 it’s not explicitly canon that he carries a lighter around just for shoko, we just see him lighting a cigarette for her in hidden inventory!! with a lighter he brought on his own. personally i think he carries it around just for her tho :33 AND YOU’RE SO REALLL I NEED TO BE HIS CIG. i’m not a smoker either but sadly i fall into the habit of finding smoking aesthetically attractive </3 AND YES :((((( some things never change!!!!! his heart broke a little. imagine finally kissing the love of your life after 10 years of abstinence only to realize they’re crying……… yeahhh. </3

BUT YES SUGU FLUFF!!!! first of all GREAT taste tumblr user kissxcore the actual love of my life (alexis if u see this ily)…… i have a couple sugu drabbles/fics in mind so i’ll link them under the cut!!!!! :3

in no particular order!!! :

black is the colour of my true love’s hair by @/dollsuguru

LIFE-CHANGING FICCCCCC it’s sososo cute and funny and heartwarming :(((( the character/reader dynamic is my favorite Ever (sugu belongs w a silly little reader <333) and there r just . SO many moments that killed me. so much devotion!!!! and love!!!!!! AND HE CALLS READER DOVEEE I LOST IT I CRIED . kairo has some other sugu fics that’re more angsty but they’re Extremely tasty so i def recommend checking them out <33

a thundering first by @/teddybeartoji

THE CUTEST . THE SWEETEST . I GIGGLED AND KICKED MY FEET SOOOO MANY TIMES HE’S SO DANGEROUSLY CHARMING ….. genuinely got flustered reading this fic i am a weak weak individual. and mickey just has a way of writing intimacy and first meetings that Really makes me melt…. T_T they have some other super duper cute sugu stuff too!!!!

tattoo artist!sugu hcs by @/missukiyo

SOOOOOO CUTE AND FLUFFY <33333 i love tattoo artist sugu soso much and these hcs just made me feel that even more 😭😭 HE’S SOOO SPECIAL TO ME uki’s version of him is simply unsurpassed…….. he’s so boyfriend. so reassuring. made my heart flutter severely

an excuse to touch by @/riaki

THEEEEEEEE COMFORT READ EVER :((((((( i remember feeling sososoos cozy and happy reading it for the first time …. riko just has a Way with words and imagery and i eat it up every time!!! this drabble is just too sweet :((( sugu is so doting in it….. soooo bf coded……. i need him bad.

love by @/hayakawalove

ACTS OF SERVICE KING SUGU I CHEERED!!!!!! this is a super comfy super sweet poly stsg/reader fic but the focus is on sugu and his love language :33 I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH rem’s sugu is one of my favorites ever we always agree on him and his love….. he’s such a giver. and rem wrote this in such a lovely way it’s just brimming w adoration :((( another big comfort read he’s so Mother

teeth; gum; metal by @/mossmudrock

ONE OF MY FAV SUGU PIECES EVERRRRR moss’ writing has me so genuinely insane i clearly remember the breakdown i had reading this for the first time. i don’t know if it’s exactly fluff? but it’s definitely not angsty!!!! it’s just such a lovely soft piece…. and it’s written so gorgeously. so many lines from it are imprinted in my skull <///3

that suspended in-between by @/seiwas

I LOVE THIS DRABBLE SO MUCHHHHH sel also wrote a super super good fwb to lovers sugu fic… that i adore…. but if you’re looking for pure fluffy vibes this one is probably better. i just think sel has a way of making characters feel super grounded and real!!!! and i love her take on sugu sm…. he is so charming in this.

our first i love you by @/sacchariins

i absolutely ADORE this fic… sadly the original account is deactivated but the link should hopefully still work :’3 i just think geto is so insanely charming in this, it’s a college au and it’s just…. super super fluffy and sweet and funny. it’s one of my absolute favorites!!!!! it inspired me a Lot when it comes to how i view college sugu and a no curses au sugu in general… wherever this writer is now i hope they know how wonderful and skilled they are!!! i think abt this dynamic and dialogue SO often.

cinnamon, honey & sage by @/s0ulm8s

I LOVE THIS ONE. as you know i Adore cult leader geto and i especially love when people depict him in a softer way!!!! which is exactly what this is :3 he feels in character and grounded but also soft…. it’s a delicate balance and i just think the author did suchhh a good job. it’s just rlly rlly sweet!!! and the writing is so pretty too…

housemate suguru hcs by @/luvsugu

THESE R SOOOO CUTE AND WARM :(((( housemate sugu my BELOVED this characterization of him is truly toptier. he’s so good. i need him so bad. just so feel-good and comfy i need to live w him….. roommates to lovers is another of my fav sugu tropes hehe

drabble by @/junosmindpalace

this is such a comfort read :’) it’s sooo sweet and tender and also so nicely written. just very very soft!!!! geto taking care of reader’s hair… and being doting and soft…… sniffleeee i love him. i love the way it’s written too!!!! such a nice take on sugu aaa

there r lots more on both tumblr and ao3 that i can’t remember at the moment, but this is a start!!! it’s reallyyyyy difficult to look for fluff in the jjk tags bc it’s literally brimming w smut but . go to ao3 and use lots of search filters and i’m sure you’ll find lots of gems!!!! sugu nation is so talented it’s crazy