#T_T he is not a rizz master

[merakiui]

how would the housewardens react to walking in on you pleasuring yourself??

Riddle walks in, hardly spares you a glance for more than a second, before he's swiftly turning on his heel and slamming the door shut behind him. He immediately apologizes for intruding without knocking and his face is the brightest shade of red. He doesn't know what else to say, so he awkwardly leaves it at that. But you're all he can think about for the rest of the day.

Leona leans against the door frame so casually, his features alight with cocky pride. He won't say anything, merely admiring the pretty view, but when you notice him he'll smirk at you and tell you to keep going. Don't let him stop you. Unless you'd prefer if he helps you. :) if that's the case, he might as well show you how it's done. Since you let him use your lap as a pillow before, he supposes he can let you ride him. After all, the real thing is so much better than cheap silicone.

Azul opens the door, sees you, and promptly shuts it. He has to mentally reset himself after seeing a sight he has only witnessed in delusions and dreams. He can't look foolish. He has to be casual about this. He has to look suave. He opens the door again and there's the faintest hint of blush on his face and his voice is higher than it normally is, but he tries so hard to be smooth when he asks if you need a hand. Or two. Or three. He has ten at his disposal. Azul doesn't think you'll agree to this, let alone sign a contract, but he still tries because it can't hurt to do so when he's caught you in a vulnerable state. And depending on your answer, you might just surprise him.

Kalim thinks you look so cute when your face is twisted in pleasure, and he'll verbalize every praise that comes to his mind. You shouldn't be so embarrassed. There's nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself! And he wants to join you! Let him have some fun with you; he promises it'll feel good if it's with him. After all, it's so lonely doing things solo. Kalim is also the type to see what toys you use, if any, and will offer to buy you the best of the best. You shouldn't have to use cheap toys that are prone to breaking. Let him spoil you with the best, most high-quality products. <3 it's what you deserve!

Vil is pleasantly surprised. Of course he knew you were beautiful both inside and outside, but there's a certain level of intimate beauty in viewing you from the doorway while you're so wrapped up in ecstasy, oblivious to his arrival. As tempting as you look, it's unbecoming to leer and Vil is always one for mannerly conduct. He will shut the door and be on his way if you haven't noticed him, but if you do he will apologize for interrupting and offer to leave without another word. But if you ask him to stay, how can he possibly say no?

Idia never leaves his room, so he's probably watching you through the secret cameras scattered throughout Ramshackle Dorm. Or perhaps you're aware of their existence and want to give him a little show. :) in any case, it has Idia choking on his energy drink because this is a first. He's only ever observed you studying in the lounge or sleeping in your bed or playing games with your friends or marathoning movies. So this is a new sight and he definitely isn't complaining. He'll record the entire thing for his own enjoyment and for later reference when he needs new material to masturbate to.

Malleus often visits without warning, so it really shouldn't be so surprising to see him in the window. Although this is the first time he's happened upon you while you were busy with your own private affairs. Malleus doesn't find it embarrassing; rather, he thinks you look so very darling on your bed, practically glowing in the moonlight. There's nothing to fret over; nudity isn't something you should be so flustered by. After all, he thinks you look so perfect with and without clothes on. Malleus is so unintentionally smooth and genuine in his approach. He'll leave if you really wish it, but he has no problem staying to keep you company in more ways than one so long as you're okay with it.

[megashadowdragon]

corrected version

reddit comments

Davinci: HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOTTA TEACH YOU THIS LESSON YOUNG MAN!!!!!????

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User avatar level 2 Kirby0189 · 8 hr. ago Astolfo is very based Gudao: "I love the young people! …That came out wrong."

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User avatar level 3 No_Wait_3628 · 8 hr. ago I'll keep the MILFs!

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User avatar level 4 Xaldror · 7 hr. ago :Raikou: nine months later

Raikou: Kintoki, say hello to your new baby brother!

Da Vinci: Pile Drives Ritsuka

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User avatar level 5 UmbralUmbreon · 7 hr. ago A very basic simp Damned if you do, damned if you do

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User avatar level 6 GM900 · 5 hr. ago Do or Do it! There is no Do not.

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User avatar level 5 Do_it_for_the_upvote · 5 hr. ago Unapologetic Luvia/Shirou shipper Gudao: “Joke’s on you, Duhbinchi, I’m into pegging, too!”

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User avatar level 4 ImRinKagamine · 7 hr. ago

Saber the only best blonde waifu. Me too

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User avatar level 4 Do_it_for_the_upvote · 5 hr. ago Unapologetic Luvia/Shirou shipper Kiara: “Silly boy. He thinks he’ll be keeping me, but it is I who will be keeping him.”

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User avatar level 3 No_Discipline750 · 8 hr. ago Bro nah

NAH

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User avatar level 3 Felab_ · 7 hr. ago Obviously Ritsuka should rizz Da Vinci then she would have no right to complain ! 👺

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User avatar level 2 ArtoriaOfAlbion · 7 hr. ago A year later…

Da Vinci, eyes twitching: Did. You. Have. To. Knock. Up. Nearly. All. Of. The. Tam Lin. And Mash. And Britomart. And Artoria Avalon?!

Gudao, backing away towards the aforementioned women who were each holding a baby in their arms: Would you believe me if I said they were all accidents?

Da Vinci preparing her Pile Bunker: No. No I do not.

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User avatar level 3 Amaegith · 6 hr. ago

insert flair text here Gudao: Do you realize what would happen if I only knocked up one of them?

Da Vinci: ….fair play.

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User avatar level 3 Hp22h · 5 hr. ago Batter Up! Turns out condoms can't survive the… intensity

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User avatar level 1 Noximilien05 · 8 hr. ago Goetia : Truly the disciple of my creator… so tell me Ritsuka, why won’t you fuck my (adoptive) sister ?

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User avatar level 2 Bashin-kun · 8 hr. ago Goetia Redfield?

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User avatar level 2 ExuDeku · 6 hr. ago LAST MASTER OF HUMANITY, FUCK MY (adoptive) SISTER TO CONTINUE THE Redfield ARCHAMAN BLOODLINE

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User avatar level 2 Felab_ · 7 hr. ago Wait, I forgor, who is this sister ?

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User avatar level 3 Noximilien05 · 6 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago Mash

I mean… Goetia is King Solomon’s creation and Romani is basically the closest thing Mash had for a dad.

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User avatar level 4 WatanabeYunosuke · 6 hr. ago Which is ironic since Galahad and Lancelot are also connected to King Solomon.

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User avatar level 5 Random-Talking-Mug · 5 hr. ago wait what? how?

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User avatar level 6 MHyde5 · 4 hr. ago In legend Galahad's sword is David's sword, because David is Galahad's ancestor. The rest is proxy.

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User avatar level 2 Hp22h · 5 hr. ago Batter Up! …Best for last?

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User avatar level 1 Suru_LovesHentai OP · 9 hr. ago Thanks to Clinick Case for the Commission and this is a part 2 of Gudao x Sion

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User avatar level 2 -MANGA- · 4 hr. ago :Emiya: :Lambda: Yeah, he has an account here, you can prolly just ping it, right?

/u/ clinikcase

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User avatar level 2 Shadow_3010 · 4 hr. ago Thanks man. Thank you! T_T

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User avatar level 1 Percussion17 · 8 hr. ago Olga Marie, give me strength Fujimaru "Not even Alaya could pull me out" Ritsuka strikes again

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User avatar level 2 warrioroftron · 6 hr. ago Even Excalibur blushes at my grip

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User avatar level 3 Suru_LovesHentai OP · 6 hr. ago Ritsuka is slaying with his Excalibur

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User avatar level 1 Informal-Recipe · 8 hr. ago Whose's the baby in the ceiling?

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User avatar level 2 GM900 · 8 hr. ago Sion and Ritsuka’s first born.

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User avatar level 3 Hp22h · 5 hr. ago Batter Up! With a second in her arms already? Damn, he works quick.

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User avatar level 4 GM900 · 4 hr. ago And two half siblings.

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User avatar level 2 fimmCH98 · 8 hr. ago His and Sion first baby from the previous picture

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User avatar level 2 ShriekingSkull · 2 hr. ago

The gacha laughs as I fail impressed whistle sound effect

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User avatar level 1 ElectricLuxray · 8 hr. ago :medjed: I've said it before, I'll say it again

That man has NO pullout game. He is literally PARKED.

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User avatar level 2 Ryutei · 8 hr. ago You're wrong. He has a god-like pullout game. It's just that the god in question is Zeus.

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User avatar level 3 Loud_Surround5112 · 7 hr. ago Zeus couldn’t pullout with a foot powered car.

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User avatar level 4 Fadriii · 5 hr. ago What in the Yabadaba-doo is a foot powered car?

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User avatar level 5 widdelbandito · 3 hr. ago Foot Border.

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User avatar level 1 GM900 · 8 hr. ago · edited 7 hr. ago MomVinci: Loly me I trusted you to keep that boy in check!!!

LolyVinci: It’s your fault you didn’t had more backup plans in place, now I having to deal with this mess!!!!

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User avatar level 1 Proto-Omega · 8 hr. ago

:Tiamat: FREEDOM! RAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Look, at this point, it's Da Vinci's fault.

You know what he's capable of. Lock him in a room or something. Or make an invention that'll prevent this from happening. Come on, it was you who said that you can just throw him at eldritch threats because he'll end up winning them over with his charm; what did you think would happen with humans!?

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User avatar level 2 SirCaliber · 7 hr. ago Invention to keep this from happening.

So a Chastity Belt?

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User avatar level 3 Proto-Omega · 6 hr. ago

:Tiamat: FREEDOM! RAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Clearly a regular Chastity Belt isn't enough, or this situation would have been resolved by now. They need Da Vinci tech Chastity Belts.

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User avatar level 4 SirCaliber · 6 hr. ago I've got just the thing.

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User avatar level 3 EDNivek · 4 hr. ago

SQ Freeze until Beserker Musashi Wasn't that mash's job?

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User avatar level 1 Raiduo · 8 hr. ago

:Tiamat: Ocean Mama! Take me home… Think of it as a back-up plan to restore humanity just in case the bleaching can't be undone, Lolinci.

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User avatar level 2 Hp22h · 5 hr. ago Batter Up! Going to give Noah a run for their money…

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User avatar level 1 RonaldVexdian · 8 hr. ago Gudao has the Genghis Khan mindsent, bro will spread his seed to every female in Chaldea.

Also hilarious that Nemo is doing the Tail’s gets trolled face.

Ibuki literally offered Ritsuka a marriage where they would be the progenitors of a new world and rewrite the blank surface with their children in her summer event

LOL......Uh, i suppose the servants(female) were first, otherwise Gudao wouldn't had been allowed to walk free until they are.

View discussions in 2 other communities

User avatar level 1 Ill-Cardiologist-585 · 7 hr. ago rapee they need to like get a cage on him or something 😭

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User avatar level 2 Might-Mediocre · 6 hr. ago Down for the Cielussy You know it’s bad when even you say this

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User avatar level 2 RadiReturnsOnceAgain · 5 hr. ago Living example of Sunk Cost Fallacy Just neuter em and be done with it

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User avatar level 1 KingofGrapes7 · 7 hr. ago Nemo realizing this not an ankoman reality and its Ritsuka getting all the game.

Not pregnancy related but you kinda have to assume Chaldea is a fuck shack given the high stress situations they are always in. You really telling me that none of the female staff wants to fuck Cu or Fergus? Or that the guys don't have private time whenever Boudica walks past them? Some Servants like Medb flat out don't care about normies, sure. But there probably have to be at least a couple staff/Servant flings going on.

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User avatar level 2 ButzK OP · 7 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago Was always thinking that too, with the amount of Servants that canonically had tons of sex when they were alive, there's no way that they stopped doing that just because they're in Chaldea. No way Cu Chulainn, the guy who canonically banged 20+ women of all origins including Scathach, her sister and her daughter doesn't have his own little club of girls fawning over him.

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User avatar level 2 Cerebral_Kortix · 6 hr. ago Shirou's One and Only Lorewise, Fergus and Medb at the least are getting some since Fergus has extra keys at the ready to give to anyone at a moment's notice (including men, by the way. Based Fergus) and Medb is… you know.

Melusine is also a Playgirl though only because she's evil and takes joy in the act of heartbreaking due to considering John Grandorder her one true love (whether he agrees or even likes her or not).

EMIYA and Caesar are also implied to get some, though in EMIYA's case it's outside Chaldea with I guess Event Singularity humans since they fade out of existence and he prefers it no strings attached (plus he's heavily traumatized and seems to go out of his way to avoid Sabers, which considering Chaldea is full of them, makes sense he'd leave the whole place.) In Caesar's case, it's implied to be Cleopatra.

Both Merlin and Oberon are also implied to bang, but Oberon's is in fae Britain so it might have just been part of his plan to seem normal, and for Merlin it's seen in Babylonia and nowhere else.

That's as far as it goes from what I can tell.

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User avatar level 3 XxX_TaKuJiLuVr_XxX · 6 hr. ago I am 100000000% convinced that Oberon is a total virgin too disgusted to actually have sex with anybody, and only pretended to have more game than anyone else in Fae Britain for the sake of the act-- He just never actually went through with it, because that'd make him seem too easy and ruin the effect, right?

and anyhow he quickly found out what the ladies of the kingdom really go wild over: balloon art

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User avatar level 3 Ill-Cardiologist-585 · 6 hr. ago rapee holy shit fergus bi king??

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User avatar level 3 Megamage854 · 3 hr. ago Merlin is half Incubus, of course he fucks. The emotions he gets during sex are probably his most common source of emotion.

Though I get the feeling his favored emotion to eat is rage. Just a feeling I get.

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User avatar level 2 Ill-Cardiologist-585 · 6 hr. ago rapee if i worked there i'd be banging like over half of all the servants

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User avatar level 2 NeonNKnightrider · 5 hr. ago Shiroutard Ankoman is actually correct, Astolfo is one of those ‘canonical fuck god’ characters. He fucked a thousand married woman in his original legend

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User avatar level 3 Cerebral_Kortix · 4 hr. ago Shirou's One and Only Partially correct. He's a sex god, but he also isn't a bro code violator.

The reason he goes on his sex train trip in the first place is more to get his friend laid after his heart is broken from his wife cheating on him (kind of ironic that he shows up in NTR doujins considering that) to try to get him to forget about it, and it's implied Astolfo was basically doing it as an uber wingman or threesome style.

It's essentially just Astolfo saying "look, man, all these women cheat too. It's bad it happened to you but you gotta move on. Shit happens."

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Left-most one is Sion (Spoilers for end of Lostbelt 2 or start of Lostbelt 3, I don't remember exactly)

Middle one should be Sylvia (Spoilers for Prologue to Lostbelt)

Right one is Elron (Spoiler for future story chapters that has not been released in NA yet, I think, I didn't want to look too much into it since I also don't want to spoil myself)

[merakiui]

I loved android Jade so much!!! I also love the parallels between Floyd and Jade slowly becoming human. I wish darling had a chance to dance with Floyd, I think that would have been so cute.

As an aside, I wonder what would have happened if Darling was pregnant in that scenario. Jade did say that they were well equipped to take care of things, why not take care of Azul’s baby, but with him instead?

I love your writing and your ideas! It’s so good!

(Azul definitely had some rizz in this one, I’m just so sad that Jade had to kill him).

Darling dancing with Floyd would have been very cute indeed!!! A soft, fluffy moment before impending doom... T_T I can picture Floyd wanting you to be his partner for the swing dance moves he's trying to master.

Ooh, if darling was pregnant that would make Jade even more compelled to take care of you. Azul is human, and so he's bound to make mistakes. He's already made plenty when he was neglecting you, so obviously the best choice in this scenario is Jade. Jade will never make any errors and he'll never ignore you. He will be so present in your life that you'll never know the comforts of privacy again. I like to think that he's also the first one to find out about your pregnancy. You can hide the truth from Azul while you gather the courage to tell him, but you can't hide anything from a very perceptive, very observant, very intelligent android who will pick up on your behaviors and soon arrive at the conclusion you're currently keeping a secret.

Jade is far more equipped to care for you throughout the stages of pregnancy because he's an android with vast amounts of knowledge who very rarely makes mistakes because of his being a machine with advanced programming. He can be efficient when he cares for you and helps raise the child, but whether you're willing to accept his assistance is another story. Escape is nearly impossible because Jade will learn from your every attempt and come up with creative ways to stop you before you can even think of acting on your desire to leave. If you ever want to escape, you'll have to outsmart a highly intelligent, sentient machine. Best of luck... ;;;

Jade is really too generous and sweet when it comes to you, and he's so patient during each month of your pregnancy. You should love him after all of the kind things he's done. He hasn't locked you away or restrained you. He allows you to roam the house at your leisure. He never confines you or punishes you. He even lets you wear Azul's favorite shirt during sex! So why won't you love him?! >:(

(First with Azul thought 4 and now with android!Jade, Azul has had too much rizz lately... (≖_≖ ) this must change. At least Azul in Azul thought 5 won't have rizz; he's just a bundle of awkward octo-mer nerves. <3 but Rook will put him through Rook-approved rizz training, so maybe he will have a little rizz.)

[merakiui]

#12 FOR THE ASK GAME >:D if not comment, maybe an ask :O

(ask game)

12. The funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

Since you wrote ask, I think any ask that clowns on the Azuls from any Azul fics I’ve written is automatically fun to read. He’s just so cute. T_T so easy to lightheartedly clown on. <3 I remember I received an ask which was something along the lines of “how can you write Azul as such a pathetic loser but also an ultimate rizz master???” and it made me giggle. His duality is too enjoyable. I also like reading the asks or comments/tags on fics that are pure thirsting. It’s very entertaining to read hehe!!