#TOORU I LOVE U BUT PLS DONT BE STUPID LIKE THIS.........

[hoshira]

` mini headcanon o3. * the perfect family

invisible. <sarcasm> with a title like that, you definitely know that this post will be nothing but sunshine and rainbows. </sarcasm> okay, but seriously, this post will tackle some things regarding tooru and his narrative─ particularly how he consistently disillusions himself. this will be done in the lens of his backstory, however, as i’ll delve a little bit into his family life and what he does in order to deal with them.      post contains mentions of parental neglect, so if that’s not your cup of tea, just scroll past this post like nothing happened.

     i think by now we’re all aware of tooru and his rather terrible parents. but what i’ve yet to write about is how exactly he deals with them. now, my mini meta delves a bit into this, so i’ll post the snippet about his family here, so you can get a sense of what his relationships with each family member is like.

     about parents takashi & misao:

     They love their children, but they love it them in such a monotonous way – as if familial love were a formula as opposed to an emotion. The way they handle things is almost absurdly professional. [...] They’re cold, seemingly emotionless, and if it weren’t for the fact that they had blood in their veins and a heart that beats, you honestly wouldn’t be able to differentiate them from robots. The way they do things is so unnatural because it’s so perfectly executed. 

     already, tooru’s parents are painted as aloof and kind of unfeeling. they see no real emotional attachment nor value in even the most large of tasks, which makes them seem almost artificial. this detachment from their own family in preference of conducting things in a polite and businesslike order, almost to the point of obsession, is why tooru’s family is so disjointed, and why his siblings are very independent. unlike tooru, aika and kaito were given proper attention and care at a younger age, and by the time that they knew how to fend for their own was the time that their parents chose to become less caring. it was as if they had a task to do, and once done, they moved onto the next one. granted, it isn’t the best method of parenting, but at least the older siblings had a chance with making it out on their own. even kaito, who is similar to tooru in disposition, turned out to be fine. but why is tooru so different ? why does he depend so much on people, and rely on the approval of others to feel validated ? well, it’s because his parents were never there to begin with. when tooru was born, they pretty much left him to fend for himself with nothing but a name and high expectations set by his family. but even so, he never blamed his parents. he disillusioned himself into thinking that they were constantly absent because they were busy. “ they’re not home yet because they got caught up in traffic. ” “ they’re late to my birthday party because their boss is super mean and made them stay in ! ” “ they’re not here at my school show yet because they’re preparing a big surprise for when i do my part. they’ll be so happy and proud of me, and that’s why i’ll keep their seats reserved for them. ” “ they’ll arrive. ” “ they’ll arrive. ” they lied. in the midst of all these lies, tooru began to feel how crippling and empty loneliness felt. that emotion, like your heartstrings are the chords to a guitar, taut and strum to one’s leisure, a cacophony of noise, because his parents lied to him so many times, broke so many promises that were always empty to begin with, and─

     so he learnt to deal with it. he turned to watching TV and reading manga. what was he reading about ? stories about children with no parents. stories about children with only their siblings as family, because he related most to them. he could see himself as those children, was inspired by their adventures, felt as if he could become heroes like them, revered and adored by all. he put himself in the shoes of those characters, saw things as how they saw them, and developed his personality based on traits that he saw as admirable, and thus "stole” from them ( though, this was actually one of the earliest emergences of a trait for his bpd ). but i also mentioned the fact that he read of sibling relationships, and that is also something that influenced his personality.

     from the start, he had no one to trust in except kaito, who was only a child at the time, as well. aika initially thought of tooru as a shame to the family name, and so she kept her distance from him ( though this mindset changed the more she realized just how wrong her parents were in thinking of him as inferior or not even part of the hoshiumi line ). already, he was cut off from so many people in his life. and thus, kaito was the only person that he could learn from. who you are as a person is just as much nurture as it is nature, and it is increasingly difficult to develop when the main figures in your life ( aka your parents or guardians ) are absent. it is even more so when the only person you’re able to look up to is your brother, who is only eight years older than you.

     a snippet from kaito’s portion of the meta shows you just how important he was in shaping who tooru is now, however:

     It’s from Kaito that Tooru got most of his morals and aspirations from. He is kind because Kaito showed him kindness. He “adopts” those with horrible parents because Kaito “adopted” him and protected him from their neglectful parents. A lot of who Tooru is comes from Kaito because Kaito was the only person who was there for him during his youth. He taught him right from wrong, taught him how to take care of himself, and most importantly, taught him things that even the most brilliant of teachers could not instruct upon – because Tooru has always been an intelligent child, but emotions are not learnt by reading a textbook or answering questions on a test. They are experienced and felt. And Kaito taught Tooru the most important sentiment of all – one that Tooru embodies in his entirety: love. Because Misao and Takashi showed none in their neglect. Because Aika showed none in her own. And yet the constant in Tooru’s life is the reason why he’s so altruistic, why he gives so much, why his affection blooms in his heart, yet never wilts in the face of decay. Because Kaito taught him love. 

     and that’s the thing─ i’ve called tooru the embodiment of love in so many replies and threads and headcanons because, honestly, that’s what he is. tooru is the love that blooms in face of bleakness, that thrives in drought; not because he has / needs to, but because he wants to. he wants to remain kind and gentle, wants to remain serene and loving, even though he has reason to abandon all prospects of being a good person and instead become callous and cruel.

     when kaito left, tooru was devastated. though he always visited, always checked in on tooru, aika even beginning to make more trips from tokyo to sendai as best she could, tooru felt alone─ as if he had been abandoned on an island, the rest of his family waving goodbye from the cruise liner eastbound for home. so he turned to media again. but instead, he read and watched material about happy families. families that were complete. families that were always together, and loved each other no matter what. he could imagine his own family in their stead, filled his imagination with scenarios of him coming home from school, running in to hug his mother, who would smile and pet his head, of his father taking him out on father-daughter ( and once tooru came out as trans, father-son ) excursions, of his siblings going shopping together with him, of christmases spent watching american movies and wondering if westerners really celebrated the 25th of december like this, of birthdays filled with cake and presents and balloons, and most importantly of all─ a table seated with grinning faces, wishing tooru a happy birthday. he consumed media like this, pictures of smiling families, anecdotes of silly families, so that he could use his own to fill in those slots, and imagine what his life would be like if he was part of that, too. as he gets older, he realizes that these are nothing more than fantasies. but even so, when sleep is threatening to lull his thoughts, tooru wishes he could wake up to loving parents and siblings. but he never does.

     because he knows that what he imagines is something that he can never have. it’s something that will be forever kept in the confines of his mind. something locked deep within his heart’s desires.

[eitelle]

— when you take all the blame:

↳ with kenma, iwaizumi, akaashi and yamaguchi

pls someone stop me from these pls send in requests i beg of you.

genre: small oneshots/drabbles per character, very hurt/comfort

pairings: timeskip!kenma kozume x gn!reader, timeskip!iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader, timeskip!akaashi keiji x gn!reader & timeskip!yamaguchi x gn!reader (separate!!)

warnings: fights, PANIC ATTACKS DESCRIBED!! pls be careful, manga timeskip spoilers as this is timeskip, not wanting to be alive in yams reader discretion is advised!!

wc: 1067

a/n: uhm feelings kinda in the dumps lately bc of my friend group falling apart 🥵 so heres some more 2 am self indulgent oneshot things, also yams is rly ooc n is like not rly fitting the prompt but i also dont rly care-

-> kenma

it was unusual for you to stay in your shared room with your boyfriend kenma without him and especially not after an argument. today you wanted to be in his stream, to have the world know you were “the kodzuken’s” significant other. as it turns out it was more than unusual, as you sat in your bathroom tiled floor pulling your hair whimpering. why did you have to be so needy. this was all your fault. you thought, sobbing, no recognition of the man you’d been talking about walking in to check on you. him hearing your whimpers and sobs made him send out a quick ‘no stream tonight’ tweet as he crouches down and clears his throat to not scare you when he talks. “hey bub, i’m right here ok? can i touch you?” he asks, gathering you up in his arms as you nod giving him consent. “nothing is your fault. i was being selfish ok? i don’t want the world to see my amazing s/o. if you’d really like to be known i’d be more than happy to show you off,” he tells you, knowing you’ll hear the underlying message of i love you in his undertones. 

-> iwaizumi

god this is stupid, iwaizumi thought. between your barely concealed sobs and his hoarse throat it was obvious what had gone down. as they weren’t in highschool anymore you’d have thought hanging out with your best friend tooru oikawa would be ok. and normally it would be, he was hajimes best friend too after all but iwa didn’t know oikawa had just come back from Argentina. and that you weren’t cheating on him. and well he knew that his jealousy and hot temper got the best of him. he trusted you. everyone else? not so much. “baby please open the door. i’m sorry, you weren’t cheating on me i know that,” he pleads his back against the door separating you two, your back against his on the other side as a parallel. “please y/n,” he begs not knowing what was transpiring on the other side of the door. why couldn’t you just communicate. why couldn’t you just tell hajime why oiks left so this mess wouldn’t be here. if you’d just done that, iwa would trust oikawa more. it was all your fault. you thought, your mind getting muddy and your sight unclear. you opened the door croaking a weak “i’m sorry, its all my fault” as hajime jolts up out of surprise. he quickly carries you bridal style to the bed, wrapping you deep into his chest and tight in his arms mumbling a “what was that? no. its not your fault i overreacted, and i didn’t tell oikawa my number changed. please forgive me, i cant go on without you.” as you sob an ‘im sorry’ iwa knew all was well. “i love you” he whispered into your hair as you both slowly fell asleep.

-> akaashi

“angel, please talk to me,” akaashi prods, seeing your phone light up and your body shake with sobs wracking your body from each notification as you lie in bed “trying” to sleep. “no baby just go back to sleep,” you reassure him, trying (and failing) to keep your tone even. “whatever u say.” as keiji sleeps away, you decide its safe to rant finally. ‘why did i have to drag osamu and atsumu to talk again? they don’t get along but they’re both my friends, is it so bad i wanted them to be friends or tolerate each other again? i didn’t mean for them to betray each other. why am i feeling their pain, why am i the way i am?’ you whisper into the night sobbing and crying over how “shit of a human being” you are. “angel i’m so sorry i didn’t know it was like this,” you hear behind your back on your shared bed. “keiji what are you doing awa-” you start, as you turn around to face the former setter ending up cut off by a warm embrace from your boyfriend. “i should’ve realized it was those two. none of it is your fault ok sweetheart? they chose to trust and later on betray each other. you did none of that. you are an amazing and such a good person with such a pure soul. never ever doubt that. i love you, now lets get some sleep shall we?” “uh sure. thank you keiji.” “there’s nothing to thank angel.”

-> yamaguchi

anxiety. panic attacks. yamaguchi knew them almost too well. the upside to this is knowing and recognizing it in others. the others being you, the signs of you pushing your limits as you hunch over your computer, your sports classes earlier in the evening wearing you and your time out making you do your essay at 11:34 PM. as your neck snaps up, your head looking around wildly only to find it was just your boyfriend here to give you some water you both knee something was up. “tadashi i’m ok. drop it alright? this is due tomorrow and i have my classes then. its worth 20% of my grade don’t worry i’m fine,” you tell him hastily, beating him to whatever he was about to say to persuade you otherwise. “love, there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5. there are 5 empty coffee cups around you. its time to take a break,” your boyfriend convinces turning your chair away from your computer and putting your weight on him. “i’m so sorry love it’s all my fault i shouldn’t have thought i could do such amazing things and now you’re being my crutch. how pathetic is this. its all my doing. i should have never even been alive,” you guiltily admit. “hey, look at me,” yamaguchi says, using his forefinger to tilt your head up to look him in the eyes. “if anything, i’m the weak one. i was so weak for such a long time and then you came and were my wheelchair, not my crutch, and got me back onto my feet. you helped me in ways you don’t understand y/n. never doubt that, or how much i love you. and with that is that i will always do anything for you.” “i love you too tadashi,” you say your face heating up as you hobble to your bedroom passing out as soon as you hit the mattress.

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[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!