#TO BE FUCKING CLEAR: I am not in any way shape or form talking about the content creators At All.

[sewer-sermon]

hold on this is a crazy fucking thing to put on my dash??

especially floored by this reblog. let's break this down

"being autistic isnt an excuse to drive people who are too polite to tell you to shut up insane" okay who's fucking fault is it that you're "too polite" to ask someone to stop talking. if you willingly consign yourself to an interaction and can't pony up and end it on your terms, any suffering you allegedly endure at the hands of the other person is entirely your own fault!!

you wanna talk about being adults? being an adult is having the ability to walk away or remove yourself from uncomfortable situations when the need arises. which takes practice, i understand, but if you refuse to learn that skill for the sake of niceties then no one can fucking help you because no one can read minds. communication is a TWO WAY STREET!

also stop it with this whole fucking sentiment of "you're grown, so your mental illness shouldn't be an issue anymore. man up and figure it out". it's a DISABILITY, CATHLEEN! IT FUNDAMENTALLY AFFECTS HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS AND HOW YOU INTERACT WITH THE WORLD! SOME DISABILITIES ARE DISABLING!! THAT IS HOW THEY WORK!!! PEOPLE AREN'T PATHETIC FOR THINGS THEY LITERALLY CAN'T CONTROL!!!

the sentiment of this post could've been nice had it not been written in such a venomous way. yes, it is important for you to not let mental illness completely dominate your life, in any way you can manage or mitigate it, but some people are fucking disabled, end of story. you do not get to dictate what does and doesn't work for certain people, and brand them as simply "not trying hard enough" when your methods don't end up working out for someone else, or any methods! i cannot believe this stupid shit is being parroted within our own fucking communities. this is the kind of mindset that gets people killed.

just an added disclaimer for the piss on the poor website: i am not saying that being disabled gives you a free ride to be mean or unkind. i did not say that in any way, shape or form in this post. i am saying that disabilities are, shockingly, disabling, and sometimes things literally physically cannot fucking be helped, and you need to listen when a disabled person tells you they physically cannot get around a certain task or thing and accommodate for them instead of accusing them of using their disability as an excuse. you do not get to dictate the rules of how someone else's brain is fundamentally set up. you also don't get to blame someone else for your own inability to communicate when you are uncomfortable or would like to end a social interaction! put on your big boy pants and use your words! be clear and concise! thank you, that is all

for fucks sake i hope every last person involved with this post is deeply embarrassed with themselves. this is the absolute pinnacle of pick-me shit. absolutely shameful.

[lovingpiastri]

TRY HARD

ꪆৎ confessing to your loser best friend after years of torturous mutual pining turned out just like all the coming of age movies so unrealistically depict.

warnings: LOSER OSCAR!!!!, heavily inspired by juno mcguff & paulie bleeker, highschool au, swearing and use of y/n

the fearful football field that any outcast avoided like the plague , dodging invitations of attending late night friday games with no care to tie into the team spirit of supporting a sweaty team of gruesome brainless jocks who use two of their collectively shared braincells to form some strategy to win the game. they're neurons are simply replaced with the gallons of sickly protein powder they consume.

'bring it home', the brainwashed fans roar, disillusioned to the fact they will loose. and they loose hard.

perhaps you just found yourself in the stereotypically cliché coming of age that any other sixteen year old girl existed in whilst blood orange rang out in the background . perhaps you embodied the overly bothered adolescent that rejected the idea of the male protagonist engaging in friendships with anyone but her. that wasn't a perhaps that was an abso-fucking-lutely.

not to present you as insufferable but when the quarter back golden boy detected oscar's skill in something other than reading four hundred words per minute it shook the whole football team to the ground, crumbling a path for him to grasp that bizzarely shaped ball every practice and competitive game.

slowly but surely oscar's absence at your traditional friday night marathon of the big bang theory irked you more than you would admit.. all until you scolded him on your hamburger phone .

backtracking back to the annoyance and irritation you suffered from his sudden truanices escalated rapidly from the typical excuse of just missing your friend . afterall sharing a twin sized bed together since the age of ten when movie night over-ran was destined to have some underlying emotions laying beneath the horizon.

it all slammed you like a jam-packed bus in bio-chem last period of the day, the same lesson osc usually presented himself to the right of you. the one that tolerated your whingeing of how the science stools ached your 'grandma-back' to a pulp.

holy shit you're in love with him... HOLY SHIT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM!?!?!?

and this is where the cliché rom-com script makes its grand entrance , the ones you and osc would take the mick out of it. but now both of you would have to suffer the anguish of confessions rising above the horizon, much too frigid to talk about your feelings at all to the other. that's the price you pay, for falling for your best friends.

"piastri!" you call out , lungs deprived of oxygen after the non stop sprint you managed to pull off all the way from the science labs and across the yards of grassy terrain the football field consisted of.

"y/l/n? what are you- didn't you say- ... gosh." he didn't know where to begin, seeing you again after that vexatious phone call from a few nights ago was like a breath of fresh air and the oxygen wasn't allowing him to express his emotions through words.

"just let me talk," you step towards him , unable to make out his facial features from the enormously huge helmet that protected his noggin . the patterns of smudged eye black contoured across his cheeks didn't help either, it was a shame you weren't able to see his rosey fluster that erupted on his cheeks after minimal physical activity- calm down y/n!

"i-. . i think i'm in love with you?" you sounded out , the tone of your voice reaching a high you didn't know existed.

"you think?" his teasing tone was already making a come back, despite days of radio silence on both of yours ends. it was like not a flaw in the system occured.

"no- no i know i am !" you're voice reached a panicky rise, realising how your words sounded clear with uncertainty. certainly not how you were expected for this to roll out.

"you mean as friends?" oscar's usual mr. teasing master persona is replaced selfishly with a false hope , desperately reciting prayers in his head to make your confession be the one he's been anticipating since the beginning of freshman year. the year filled with vibrant brace brackets which he saw passed, because oscar still cherished you just the way you are. especially the moments you let him stick colourful magnets from recent vacations across the globe to your metal adorned teeth.

"no.. i mean for real . 'cause you're like the coolest person i've ever met , and you don't even have to try." this time a cheeky grin can be evident in your voice , your pearly whites shining in the spotlight as you stare directly at his face which looked more than silly carrying his well too big helmet.

"i try really hard, actually.." he says with a weak smile , beginning to pull off his tedious helmet to give you a better view of his facial expressions. "sorry- uhm can i kiss you or even a peck?" the anxiety was there, but it would all be at ease as soon as his chapped lips met with your vanilla bean lipgloss lathered ones.

"you don't need to ask osc." you immediately snatch his face down to reach your height, the palms of your hands drenching eye black but not a care in the world was present.

the kiss was tremendously sweet, your inexperienced arses were clashing teeths and tongues in the process but it couldn't be more perfect , you could've even sworn that the melodies of 'anyone else but you' by the moldy peaches were ringing out in the announcement speakers!

©lovingpiastri

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 37

Eminem x Female Reader Fanfiction

Synopsis : Em starts therapy. Reader is organizing Jamal and Talia's wedding. A track gets leaked., causing Jamal to be angry at Em.

MARSHALL’S POV

Marshall was rather nervous when he sat in the chair in his therapist’s office. In the past decade, he had made a point to avoid therapy as much as he could, only committing to the bare minimum. Technically, he was seeing a therapist but, from the very beginning of their session, he had made it clear that he did not really want to go over his whole life story, over-analyzing his relationship with his mother or whatever therapists were usually interested in. So, for more than fifteen years, the sessions focused solely on his addiction management and potential triggers. Anything that was not related, he deemed irrelevant and, at some point, his therapist gave up on trying to get him to talk about his childhood or going in depth on his feelings. And so far, it had worked out pretty well for him. He was sober for more than sixteen years now and, if it were not for fear of losing the woman he loved, he would gladly stick to the usual agenda. But it was Y/N, and the thought of losing her over something as stupid as his trauma was making him sick to his stomach, so when she asked if he would consider therapy, he reluctantly accepted. As painful as a two hour session talking about the neglect he experienced in his youth seemed, he knew It wouldn’t compare to the pain of having the woman he loved leaving him. And even if if didn’t come to that, he didn’t want to hurt her, in any way, shape of form. He had fucked up big time and he knew it. 

When he called his therapist’s office to request an emergency session, he was greeted with urgency and the secretary immediately put him through with Dr Hanson, who immediately asked if there was a relapse. And why wouldn’t she ? When a patient’s been refractory for years, there can only be so many reasons why they’d be so eager to have a session. He said he hadn’t relapsed, just « relationship stuff » he needed to figure out and it was enough for the therapist to open her practice earlier on a Monday morning after Thanksgiving. Dr Hanson had been trying to get him to open up for years but he had always refused, considering his music to be his best form of therapy. When he walked in and sat in the chair, he was greeted with a smile. 

Good morning Marshall, Dr Hanson said. 

‘Morning, Doc. Thanks for the quick appointment, he replied with genuine gratefulness. 

Well it’s not every day that one of your oldest patient decides to open up out of the blue, is it ? She grinned. 

Well, it took fifteen years but you finally get what you wanted, he shrugged. 

So, Marshall, what brings you in today ? She asked. 

He took a second to respond. He knew what brought him in but filling her in with so many details about his personal life felt foreign. He had a great working relationship with Dr Hanson, but it had always been on a need to know basis. Now, though, he knew the whole thing would need dissecting. He hummed and chose his words carefully. 

I, uh… Snapped at my partner, he explained. We managed to talk it out but she said something about unresolved trauma I shouldn’t take on her, so… Here I am. Trying to make things right. I don’t want it to happen again. 

Dr Hanson stayed silent for a split second and looked at him from behind her glasses. She brought her hand to her mouth, noted something on her notepad and smiled. 

Looks like Christmas came early, this year, she said with a smirk. Can you go over the events for me ? 

______

TWO WEEKS LATER 

Y/N’s POV 

The weeks following Thanksgiving were nothing short of heavenly. You were feeling at home in the house, you adopted the cutest cat, Talia and Jamal’s wedding was coming together and Marshall was more attentive than ever. You knew he went to see his therapist a couple times a week, though you didn’t pry and ask for much details about their sessions. However, from what you gathered, it seemed to work well for him. In his conversations with you, he seemed more analytical about his own feelings, even talking to you about how he felt about certain things. The two of you had always had good talks, but he was opening up more than ever. And on top of that, he was extremely vocal about how much he appreciated you, lavishing you with praises, telling you how thankful he was whenever you did the smallest thing for him. You had no idea who his therapist was but, if you could, you’d send them gifts. Seeing your boyfriend at peace with his feelings was satisfying, and it didn’t hurt that he was consciously trying to make it up to you. In his own words, he wanted to be « the man you deserve ». Every night, when he was coming home, you were excited to see him and share your progress on the wedding. You knew he didn’t really like all that stuff, but he was supportive of your endeavors. He was even the one who came up with an idea for the venue. One night, he took you on a drive to a lovely place, near the area where you lived. He pointed to a gorgeous house. Well, actually, it was more of a manor. It had an English vibes, rustic yet elegant. 

What do you think ? He asked. 

That’s gorgeous ! You said. It fits right within the wedding theme ! It looks just like the one on the mood board Talia made the other week ! 

I know, he grinned. I was driving in the area with Paul for an appointment the other day and I saw it was for sale. I called the real estate agency and they might be able to convince the seller to lease it for the event, if Talia and Jamal like it. 

They’re going to love it, you assured him. It’s exactly what they want for the ceremony. Cosy, small, intimate… Do you think we can plan a visit ?

Realtor’s inside, he said with a smile. That’s why I brought you here. 

You’re the best ! 

I know you’ve been working your ass off for the wedding and struggled to find a venue, so I thought I’d help, he shrugged.

You placed a kiss on your cheek and exited the car. The place was stunning, big enough and ticked all the boxes. You were under the spell of the house, that resembled the one you always dreamed of living in when you were a little girl. It had a big, beautiful flower garden in the back, ivy was climbing around the big widows and there was a beautiful fireplace. Marshall could tell you liked the place a bit too much and teased you. 

Don’t get too excited, it’s for Jamal and Talia’s wedding, not for us to move in, he chuckled. 

I know, you said with a smile. I like your house just fine, you know ? I just really like the vibe of this one. Besides, I know you could never live here. 

Why is that ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

You like your own house too much, you pointed out. Plus, this one is not located in an area that’s secure enough. 

It’s your house too, you know ? He said. You keep on saying it’s my house but… You live there too.

I know, you said. I’m starting to feel more and more at home. It just takes a minute.

You know, if there are any features you like in this house, we can also make some changes to our house. I want you to be happy, he commented. 

No need, you assured him. As long as I have you, I’m good. 

It was the truth. You were incredibly thankful for the house you lived in and you knew how attached Marshall was to this place. He’d been living there for so long, you didn’t want to intrude. Plus, as long as you had him, you knew you could feel at home everywhere, eventually. Besides, who would complain about living in a literal mansion ? No one. You did not give it a second thought but, the next day, Marshall surprised you by handing you the card of an interior designer. 

What’s that ? You asked. 

I’ve been thinking, he said. I saw how excited you were about the house we visited yesterday, how you kept saying you dreamt of living in that kind of place when you were younger… I want you to feel at home, here, I really do. And my therapist says I need to… How did she say it ? Make actual space for you. So, I was thinking that, if you want, you could redecorate a little ? 

Are you sure ? 

Babe, I’ve owned this place for almost two decades and a lot of the rooms could use a little update, he chuckled. I don’t really care about the whole home decor thing, honestly. I could go another twenty years without changing much. But this is your home and I want you to enjoy the space, not only feel content with it, you know what I’m saying ? If I recall, we agreed that you’d have your own room, like home office or whatever, when I asked you to move in. Why don’t you start here ? 

Could I make it a reading room ? You asked with excitement. With big bookshelves ? And a big chair ? 

Whatever you want, he said with a genuine smile. The interior designer will make your dreams happen. 

I love you ! Thank you thank you thank you ! 

You hugged him tightly and he whispered sweet words in your ear, like how grateful he was for you and your presence in his life, and how he wanted nothing but to make you happy. You were over the moon, impressed by his generosity and commitment to you. You were on cloud nine, imagining your very own reading room in which you could simply curl up with a good book and a blanket while sipping tea, living your introvert life to the fullest. 

In the following days, you took Talia to see the house Marshall had taken you to and she absolutely loved it. Thanks to your amazing boyfriend, they finally had a venue. The two of you also went dress shopping. Your best friend found the right dress very easily. To be fair, the two of you had spent enough time imagining the perfect wedding dress so she had a good idea of what she wanted. The whole thing was almost disappointing : the two of you had imagined that she would have to try on at least fifteen different dresses to find the right one, but it took only two. It was absolutely gorgeous and Talia looked regal in it. The dress was definitely over the top but it was more than fitting with her personality. The two of you had made a lengthy appointment with the store consultant and it seemed like your best friend had not had her fill of wedding dresses fittings, yet. 

How about you try one, Y/N ? She suggested. 

No way, you said. This is your day. You try another one. 

Any other dress would look pale in comparison, she said. I found the one. I feel it in my bones. Just… Indulge me, will you ? 

I’m not getting married, you reminded her. 

All the more reason, she pleaded. If you don’t try one now, you’ll never see yourself in a wedding dress ! Please ?! It’s my big day, you said it. And as my best friend, I think you should oblige me… 

You have a weird way of being a bridezilla, you commented. But sure, whatever… 

You didn’t really see the point. To you, it was weird. A lot of brides would have found it disrespectful if their friend decided to randomly try on wedding dresses on the day of their fitting but Talia was pushing for you to do it. Eventually, you caved in and obliged her. She immediately called the sales assistant, to whom you had to describe your ideal dress. It occurred to you that it was a good thing you weren’t getting married, because you were incredibly specific. You wanted a dress that was simple, elegant and understated, but not plain. You didn’t want it to be revealing but you didn’t want to look like a nun either. You thought it would be impossible to find but the woman came with three dresses for you to try on. As soon as you tried the first one, you felt like it was a costume you put on. It felt too much and wholly unnatural, though the dress was gorgeous. The second dress was nice but not « you » at all. You were practically begging to stop but Talia was having too much fun, claiming this was the moment you were always supposed to share so you happily indulged her by trying on the last dress. And, much to your surprise, magic happened. It was the ultimate dress, the one that you would have chosen, if you had been meant to get married. You were feeling like a princess and Talia even teared up a little. 

Why are you crying ? You asked. 

You-you’re just so beautiful, she said. That’s your forever dress. Right here. 

I’m not having a forever dress, remember ? You said with a small smile. Marshall…

…Is an idiot, that’s what he is, she said as she kept on crying. I can’t bear the idea of you doing all these nice things for my wedding and knowing I will never be your maid of honor and return the favor  because Em is too stubborn to give you what you deserve ! 

I should be the one crying about it, not you, you pointed out with a chuckle. I’m fine, I swear. He is amazing and I have all that I want. 

I’m pregnant and hormonal, that’s all, she said reassuringly. But you’re so beautiful. You should buy it ! 

Tay, this dress is way too expensive and… It’s not like I’m going to wear it around the house, right ? You giggled. 

Ok, but at least let me take pictures ? Because I want to remember the day I finally got to try on wedding dresses with my best friend ! She begged. 

Sure, you giggled. 

You didn’t mind wearing the dress a little longer. It was kind of fun. A voice in the back of your mind was telling you to savor the moment, because it was, indeed, your only chance to wear a wedding dress. You were incredibly thankful to have such a thoughtful best friend to give you this experience. 

Remind me to slap Em, she said. 

Why ? You giggled. 

Because he’s not only robbing you of your dream wedding, he is also robbing me of the greatest day as maid of honor ! 

I’m having just as much fun planning your wedding, you assured her. 

Quit it, she almost groaned. It’s not a pageant speech, you don’t have to play the Disney princess. And he’s not here to hear you, we can bitch about him ! 

I’ll admit I would have loved getting married, you said. Not right now, it’s too early, but knowing it could happen… 

You see, it’s good to hate a little, she grinned. 

But, I don’t know, I guess he has his own trauma, you shrugged. Two failed marriages with the same person must have been tough. I understand not wanting a third one. God, his therapist must have fun… 

You managed to send that man to therapy ? She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Yeah, we had a little argument, you said. No big deal. But it sparked a conversation about therapy and he agreed to give it a try. 

Well, maybe he will work on his fear of commitment then, she pointed out. 

I don’t think it’s about commitment, you said earnestly. I think he’s very committed to me. He says so himself. 

I’ll circle back to what I said : Em is the most stupid man I have ever met. God, I always knew men were stupid but this one… 

You giggled. Talia was your ultimate ride or die and you knew that if you told her more about the argument you had with him, she would have his head. But to you, it was in the past and Marshall had been so amazing, so attentive and romantic lately that you didn’t feel like bringing it up. After you were done trying on dresses, you joined the guys at the studio. It was your first time going back since you moved back to the US and you were really excited. You found the guys talking in the lobby, happy to see you. 

Look who’s here, Porter said with a smile. Hi boss ! 

Are you really calling me boss ? You asked with a giggle. 

Well, Marshall is our boss and you’re his boss, so technically…

She’s not my boss, Marshall chuckled. 

Right, Royce chuckled. You can lie to yourself but not to us, man. 

I like the sound of that, Talia grinned. 

How was the wedding dress appointment ? Jamal asked. Did you find something ? 

I did ! Your best friend said with excitement. Y/N found her dream dress too ! 

Talia, you scolded with a laugh. 

What ?! Talia asked. It’s true. And you looked perfect in it ! Didn’t she, Em ? 

Marshall simply sighed at her and rolled his eyes with a smile. 

Don’t tell me you sent a pic ?! You asked her. 

What ? She replied innocently. Merely showing that man what he’s missing… 

You did look incredible, Marshall said as he kissed your temple. 

Sorry about her, you said apologetically. She’s the one who convinced me… 

Don’t you dare apologize, Talia said. Someone has to show him how stupid he’s being. 

Talia, please don’t start, Marshall groaned. 

Oh, I will start, she warned. I don’t understand how stubborn you’re being about this ! 

Jamal, please reason your wife to be, your boyfriend groaned. 

Man, Y/N is your boss and Talia is mine, Jamal chuckled. I’m not dumb enough to argue… 

I’m just saying Y/N’s finger could use a diamond on it, Talia argued with a smile. She’s worth it, isn’t she ? 

If that’s about the diamonds, she’s got nine other fingers, Marshall said with a smirk. And I fully intend on putting a ring on each and every one of them. Now, I appreciate the pictures of my girl looking absolutely stunning in a white dress, but you should worry about your own wedding, Talia. 

Men are dumb, Talia sighed. 

What the hell did we do ? Porter asked. He’s being dumb, leave the rest of us alone ! 

Don’t start either, your boyfriend warned him. 

You giggled and let your head roll on your boyfriend’s shoulder, enjoying his presence. You loved being home with him, but the studio had a vibe you particularly enjoyed, probably because it was where you met Marshall. You had fun for the rest of the afternoon, hanging out with everyone. Talia seemed a bit moody about Marshall not caving in on the topic of marriage and you were not so sure why. You assumed she was just moody in general, which you could probably blame on pregnancy. She had a knack for being dramatic and hormones probably didn’t help too much in that department. If memory served, you’d been an emotional mess in your first trimester so you weren’t going to judge… In the car ride home, Marshall brought it up. 

So… Talia was a handful, he chuckled. 

I’m sorry about her, you said. I think she’s stressed out about the wedding and a bit disappointed that she won’t be able to reciprocate the whole maid of honor thing. And, you know, hormones… 

Right, he said. But… Are you alright ? 

I am, you said with a genuine smile. I had fun today. Probably enjoyed trying on this dress more than I should have, I’ll admit. 

Look… Maybe we need to talk about the whole marriage thing, he said nervously. I… The reason why I can’t get married is because-

Marshall, you don’t owe me any type of explanation, you said reassuringly. You’ve been married to Kim twice, you have your own trauma and I know it has nothing to do with me. 

You do ? He asked. 

Look… I see all the efforts you’ve made for me, you said. We got the cat I wanted. You’re letting me redecorate a room in your house. You started therapy. You’re even helping me with Talia and Jamal’s wedding. I know you love me. 

I do, he said with a smile. I’m in love with you. 

And don’t think I didn’t hear what you said about me having nine other fingers you could put a ring on, you grinned. I do enjoy a good piece of jewelry. 

Noted, he chuckled. Thank you for understanding, baby. 

He seemed relieved about the fact that you didn’t press him to talk about the topic. As far as you were concerned, you were trying not to think about it too much. And everything you said was true : you were truly grateful for his efforts during the past weeks and wanted to respect his choices as much as possible. The two of you enjoyed your evening, cuddling with your cat, who seemed to despise Marshall. The next morning, you were awaken by the doorbell. Someone was putting all their energy into ringing, way too early in the morning. 

Mind getting the door while I’m getting dressed ? Marshall asked with a groan. I swear, if it’s the damn neighbor about her stupid bake sale again… 

I’ll get it, you said with a yawn. She’s been annoying me too, you know ? And it’s not even 7AM… Who does that ?! 

That woman is crazy, he sighed. Met her twenty years ago and she was already a nightmare. She was convinced I’d bring drugs and crime into her precious neighborhood. Even warned me that she’d call the cops if she saw prostitutes around… 

You giggled and went to open the door, ready to tell Mrs Davis to leave you alone. But much to your surprise, you were greeted my Jamal’s face. He was not smiling as usual, immediately telling you that something was wrong. 

What’s up, Jamal ? You asked. What are you doing here so early ? Its there anything wrong ? Is it about Talia ? The baby…?

Em here ? He asked dryly. 

Yeah he’s getting dressed…, you replied. Oh, there he is.

What’s up, man ? Marshall asked as he came to greet Jamal. 

YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD FUCKING EXPLANATION, your friend immediately yelled at him. 

For what, man ?! Marshall asked confused. What the fuck are you going on about ? 

For the fucking track that got leaked last night ! Jamal yelled. Are you fucking serious ?! 

Wait…, Marshall began. 

Before Marshall could finish his sentence, Jamal hit him in the face. Your friend had an impressive stature and was usually a big teddy bear but, when he was furious, he was rather scary. Next thing you knew, the both of them were fighting, though, to be fair, Marshall was not putting up much of a fight. Jamal was much taller, much bigger than him. You had no choice but to get in there and try and separate them. 

Jamal, let go of him ! You pleaded. 

I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, Jamal screamed. 

What the fuck, man ?! Marshall asked as he was panting. 

Y/N, take your bags, Jamal directed. 

What the hell ?! You asked. It’s not even 7AM, Jamal ! You don’t get to barge in her-

I’m not leaving you with that psycho, Jamal spat. 

What the fuck ?! Marshall yelled. Babe, I have no idea what he’s talking about. 

YOU FUCKING NAME DROPPED HER IN A TRACK, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, Jamal yelled. YOU FUCKING RAPPED ABOUT TORTURING HER ! 

You looked at Marshall with a confused face. His face was bruised and scraped, definitely not a pretty sight. What was most shocking, though, was the look of terror on his face. 

Oh fuck, Marshall said under his breath. 

[ancientbygone]

simulacra 3 [take me back to eden]

[sundowning] [tpwbyt]

Sleep's mimic forms of the vessels during the time period of TMBTE, because i can't be normal and start a series from the beginning and not the end.

more info + design breakdowns under the cut:

[obligatory "when talking about the vessels, i'm talking about characters" disclaimer]

background info on the whole idea:

Sleep as a being is shapeless in my mind; more of a concept than a creature. it can manifest as sort of an absence of light in any shape to others, usually to appeal to feeling/emotion. the only "rule" for that is that whatever Sleep tries to appear as cannot look more or less innocent/powerful than Sleep actually is, which usually manifests in two things: the size being different from the thing/person it's imitating, scaled according to power, and/or added features, usually in some way threatening or regal.

one of Sleep's more consistent forms it takes throughout interacting with Vessel is mimicking him, partially to create an illusion of the two being more similar than they actually are and partially because Sleep used to exist as Vessel's shadow when they'd just met. the visual itself has changed through time (you can see what it was like during Sundowning in my Higher artwork), and during TMBTE that visual is pretty much the titular song's character with the most minor tweaks (which is why i didn't draw it separately).

all that made me think about the idea of Sleep mimicking the other vessels just to fuck with Vessel further (to be clear, i am a strong believer that Sleep only interacts with Vessel in any way). so now here are the designs of those mimics during the events of TMBTE, utilizing the album's song characters much like the Vessel mimic. because again, i have to start a series from the end, i guess.

"ii"/ii mimic (song character used: AYROK)

the main idea driving the design of "ii" is the real ii's goal to keep Vessel more or less safe by being by his side in worshipping Sleep, which is the reason he'd decided to become the second vessel in the first place. the choice of AYROK as the character to use in this design is obvious. one of the ideas that stem from that is ii's duty/desire to keep his face hidden for Vessel's sake; only his hands are visible & detailed because that's the only part of him Vessel remembers before either of them became vessels of Sleep and the only part ii has really shown after that. another is ii's timidity in telling Vessel to go against Sleep's will because he fears that no matter how bad it may be, it'll be much worse if Vessel doesn't follow it. that part comes through in the pose - shyly holding his hands together as if they're tied.

"iii"/iii mimic (song character used: Aqua Regia)

the song character inspo being Aqua Regia is mostly because of the calmer nature of the song and the dynamic duo it makes with Vore, less so the themes of the lyrics. also its visual design. iii mimic's design themes are iii's adoration/borderline obsession with Vessel (wearing Vessel's jewelry and having elements of his robe in his shirt + his own face/mask slowly melting off) and his enagement with worship as an act/aesthetic rather than something more serious (the overabundance of jewelry and accessories; the extra arms; the body language; the cuffs around his arms and legs being decorative and not actually restricting). also the rings on his fingers make a checkered pattern.

"iv"/iv mimic (song character used: Vore)

the use of Vore for "iv" is obvious too. song wouldn't be the same without his real life self. the design really just aims to combine iv with the Vore character, but there are two big things here. the simplest one is anger issues, which is why he's So Goddamn Spiky and why his jacket looks like scarred skin rather than painted & customized. the anger mostly shows up in the body language: most of the time "iv" just stares unblinkingly with pure palpable ire in the two glowing dots for eyes, and when he does move it's very stiff and snappy and barely controlled. the other thing is that, simply speaking, the real iv got into this whole mess without knowing the full extent of it and now he's in too deep and kinda losing himself. in the design it's expressed through the human features gradually turning into bug-like, such as the hoodie fading into a segmented millipede-like body and the fucked up mantis hands, and the gold of the original iv's mask melting over the face with the horns being part of it. the spikes protrude from him in a way that makes it difficult to distinguish between jacket decorations and actual parts of his body, but the spines are definitely from his body & allow me to live the dream of iv with a mohawk LMAO

anyway have fun with these go nuts i'll make similar sheets & posts for Sundowning and TPWBYT eventually

[thewayuarent]

Handling an addiction. Part 1.

Cause oh we need to have this conversation

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, and I won’t pretend to be. This is based on my personal experience as someone who is/was in several relationships with people who struggle from different forms of addiction. I want to clarify that I do understand all characters and while I’m going to critique them I do not blame them. The very important thing to remember is that it's a very complicated topic and there is no clear right answer to it. Let's keep in mind that any conversation about any difficult topic is always mostly one-sided and it's impossible to talk about everything once. This is about addiction and only about it, but all characters are way more then that one topic. Are we good now? Let's go.

So, let’s talk about Ray’s addiction and how people in his life are failing to handle it. 

The most important thing to remember is: addiction is a disease. By definition of most medical associations all over the world. Addiction is not a personal choice. And while it doesn’t excuse Ray’s behaviour throughout the show, it explains it. And this is a big difference. Ray as a character is much more than just his addiction, absolutely. But his addiction is a huge part of who he is and how he behaves and we need to constantly remember about it.

This conversation begins every week after every episode. Most people who seem to understand the complexity of his situation are also people who have a lot of sympathy and understanding towards him, and this is great. There are also a lot of people who feel towards him mostly annoyance and desire for him to stop without understanding why he can't - and this list starts from characters in the show. It’s, again, understandable. It’s also the worst thing you can do towards someone who struggles from addiction. 

So let’s start from Ray’s friend group and we’ll go from the least harmful to most harmful characters’ behaviour.

Boston. Yeah, shockingly, I know. But the fact is - Boston actually has the best-ish (from the worst so it’s not a high ground here) approach towards Ray’s addiction. And why? Well, cause he doesn’t give a fuck and doesn’t pretend to do. Boston is way far from the good support system Ray actually needs but at least he never judges Ray for his habits. He won’t help him, sure, but he won’t damage him harder (well, he is, but on a different topic).

We don’t actually know a lot about this friend group dynamic outside of their current drama and one episode happened two years ago. But we kind of can assume (cause Mew said it twice - in episodes 1 and 6) that Boston at least on some level was periodically responsible for taking Ray home. Which is really weird for me, by the way, cause both times Mew said Boston will take care of him Boston was also drinking. Not on Ray’s level, but still not in a shape to drive. But whatever. 

Don’t get me wrong, Boston is a shitty friend. He’s the one called Ray a burden in episode 1 which led to Ray rushing out.

And he intentionally targets Ray more than once towards the show about Mew, which is absolutely harmful and not helpful (can we talk about the weird obsession Boston has about Ray and Mew having sex? Like dude relax, nobody cares. Well, Top does).

He is absolutely not someone you want to have in your support system while trying to heal (not if Ray’s trying but we’ll get to that in part 2). But at least he is honest about not wanting to handle an addict. And the truth is: no one in this friends group wants to. And it’s fine, actually, more on that in a minute. But oh the level of hypocrisy the other two have.

Cheum. So, I truly don’t understand what the show is trying to tell us with this one. It’s either a clear critique on the hypocrisy people tend to have towards addicts or an attempt to show how addiction ruins not only people with it but also their surroundings. And if it’s the second one then I have a problem with how it’s shown.

There is a gold rule of cinema: show, don’t tell. We are told more than once that Cheum and Mew were actively trying to stop Ray. But what we’re actually shown is way different. The thing is, they are college kids. They drink a lot. They party a lot. And if we see this group all together they are either in university or drinking (except for the iconic pool scene). And specifically Cheum seems to get drunk pretty often. So while we’re told they tried to help Ray we’re shown only how they actually (unintentionally!!) support his behaviour or ignore it. And what should I think?

I think that they missed the point when Ray’s habits became an actual addiction. And I understand why - it’s a very easy thing to miss. I think that before his suicide attempt they did’t notice his mental struggles. I think after that they were shocked and scared and they didn’t know how to handle it so they chose to ignore it. This is a very common reaction and it’s understandable. 

The very important moment to remember is they don’t owe Ray anything. They can choose to help him and support him or not to deal with it. Handling an addiction is so hard and frustrating and exhausting for every participant. And if they choose to not get themselves into it - it’s normal. It doesn’t make them bad people, as choosing to help doesn't make somebody a better person. It’s a choice and every choice matters.

But if you make this choice - be true to it. Don’t play the “I tried to help you but you don’t want it so it’s on you” card. People with addiction didn’t choose to be that way. But people in their lives? They have an actual choice. No one will judge you if it’s not for you (at least normal people won’t). It’s honestly way better than staying only to constantly remind an addict how bad he is - he knows it already.

The thing I have to say to Cheum is - go away. It’s harsh, but it needs to be said. Don’t lie to yourself or Ray. Tell him (in very careful way) that you are tired, that you can’t handle it, that he needs help you can’t provide. Or stay, but do your research and prepare yourself to long hard work. But don’t continue to constantly drink with him to then be surprised why he can’t get better. Cheum is absolutely not responsible for Ray's actions. But she is responsible for hers. 

The one time I was almost agree with her was that scene.

Because bringing drugs was a very fucked up thing to do - Ray puts at risk not only himself but the whole group and he deserves to be called out on that. But. She continues to put all the blame on Ray - the thing she does the whole episode and it’s just frustrating as hell -  forgetting about Mew. Mew, who actually has a lot of responsibility in that situation.

Mew. Well, he does the worst thing you can imagine to do with a person like Ray. I get it, he’s hurt, I totally understand why he does what he does. I don't think he intends to hurt Ray. But.

Mew forgets a critically important thing here - can you guess which one? - right, that Ray is an addict. Mew can do all this stuff and be fine afterwards. It is always a risk that he won’t, of course, but his superiority complex tells him he’ll be fine. And I also think so - I mean, he's a young adult, he can try partying and drinking and drugs and be totally okay after.

He can turn back. Ray can’t.

Mew did help Ray in his worst moment that one time two years ago, and it is worth remembering. And after that Mew tried his best to distance himself from Ray’s struggles - again, understandable. He was trying to talk with Ray and while it was really bad - I still give him the benefit of a doubt. He is young, he’s not a specialist, he didn’t do any research and he thinks it might work.

But a moment he decides to let loose he turns to Ray for help. Because Ray will never judge him - both cause his idolisation and cause it’s not his place to judge, he does all this stuff himself. And this is absolutely terrible. I’m sorry, but it is. Mew, the same as everyone else, doesn’t owe Ray his help or time or support. But while it is not necessary for him to help Ray, it is a necessity to not actively - and this time intentionally - support him in this.

For Mew everything happening is episode 8 is a journey, a new experience. For Ray it's a fucking relapse.

He knows Ray is an addict. He just doesn’t care at the moment. But it can be so, so dangerous for Ray. Mew started this spiraling down journey, but it’s Ray who will end up at the bottom.

And for everyone who says Ray is also an active participant - he is. But he is not. He has a disease. And he gets in a situation where a person he idolises, his favourite human being, finally doesn’t judge him. Instead, Mew supports him. Mew wants to be like him. Can you imagine even a possibility where Ray in this situation says no? It’s impossible, not in the state he’s in right now.

And this is why I critisize this friend group. This is why they deserve to be criticized. Because this is a depiction of how these things work in reality too. You don't have to help him. But the least thing you can do - if you deside to stay in his life - is to have a compassion towards him and don't get him worse.

In part two I will talk about Ray’s current state and of course about the one person who kind of does the better job here - and why Sand is able to do it.

[bloodsadx]

thanks to everyone who has sent me asks and such saying i understand how to draw for being nice and stuff. i'm going to ramble about some influence/process stuff below if you want to read abt it

this might read as some kind of artistic statement or defense or something but i like to talk about this kind of thing just in case anybody can ever get anything meaningful out of my own thoughts and practices. i got to where i am after a lot of careful consideration and spending time thinking about what i like in other people's art, just like anybody else that makes art to any serious degree.

my "style" is very much a deliberate series of decisions that i have honed into being very fast for my own pleasure and enjoyment because i am very inspired by people like king terry/garo magazine/the heta-uma style, keiichi arawi, inio asano, hiroyuki imaishi, toru nakayama, phil elverum (as a cartoonist), gary panter (who was a friend of matt groening and wrote an essay about selling out that is worth reading and did a lot of stuff with RAW magazine which is one of my favorite things to think about), DIY/skatewear brand t shirt cartoons, early MSPA hussie stuff, etc. a lot of my favorite artists walk a line between constant high effort and low time investment art; often contrasting elaborately planned perspective grids or high resolution rendering with simple cartooning. asano and arawi i think are very clear and famous examples of artists that use 3d rendering and photography for backgrounds while drawing very deliberate and expressive characters on top of them. toru nakayama is really inspiring to me because he, like toriyama, has a very deep understanding of form AND cartooning and has a way of making extremely densely crafted cartoons which feel visceral and almost like plastic toys you can pick up and play with on the page. also just one of my favorite colorists. and i think hussie and arawi and imaishi are all fantastic character designers with very strong understandings of designing art styles that convey information very quickly and deliberately; i think bryan lee omalley and jamie hewlett were also big early influences on me for the same thing- they all have art styles with very clear line/negative space proportions, strong shape language, etc, and for a long time in my life i have sought to grasp a similar understanding of these things. and then i think phil elverum's fancy people adventures cartoons and just like skate brands and "shitty" DIY drawings and stuff (the album art for nana grizol's love it love it is like burned into my brain forever; seeing basquiat paintings and poems in a museum when i was 15 made me feel whatever and crazy and etc) are just something that serve as a constant reminder to me that some of the most effective art is art that is simply fun to look at, especially when it comes to making comic and cartoon art. simplicity and joie de vivre are very important to me as artistic concepts.

and i mean, i do fuck with crazy painter dudes and shit too; i was huge into goya when i was 14 and had a print of the witches sabbath taped to my wall until i was like 22, i fw waterhouse & bruegel the elder insanely. i am like a sponge for most kinds of art and i do a lot of art research all the time. most of my first book was heavily influenced by compositional techniques from pre-raphaelite painters and the iconography of egyptian & greek wall art and especially especially extremely crowded gothic art and the concept of horror vacui.

but anyway, im not really insecure about my art, i know how much effort and time and practice and research i've put in, i definitely know my strengths regarding cartooning and stuff, and i'm even more aware of where my work needs "improvement" in order to be "commercially viable." i've been in multiple positions in the past several years of taking art seriously where other people have been dismissive of my art and i've seen other people fail to capture the energy & simplicity that i am able to get in my own art, etc.

for people interested in my Process and the things that i work on to draw the way that i do, the way i have gotten whatever skills i have has been mostly through drawing the same things over and over and over (toenail, cavity, pimple, gunk, making different expressions and doing different poses); i draw in pen MOST of the time, and i have for a very long time, and i make few edits, and i focus on keeping energy and confidence in my lines; i do perspective studies, i've spent a lot of time doing gesture drawings and environmental studies inside and outside. i draw a lot of movie frames and do color studies of youtube videos and stuff like that. i remember reading some kind of criticism of post-KAWS/street art infiltration of commercial art that artists now are most rewarded for drawing literally the same thing over and over and over like their hands are printers and that the main thing artists are then allowed to do within that context is express themselves through minor variations within that key theme; i don't think im THAT rote but it has definitely informed my perpsective on what i do and what i am interested in doing. on some level i have designed my art to be easily reproducible by myself because i want to make comics and sometimes even to animate my characters and that requires me to be able to draw a lot of drawings relatively quickly. this is another reason why character designers and video game key artists are such massive influences on me, takehito harada and akiman and toshiyuki kusakihara being some huge ones i've spent a lot of time doing studies of i didn't mention previously.

and because the main way i make money at this point in my life is through screen printing & reproducing my drawings as items for sale, i spend a lot of time making my art Distinct, Eye Catching, and Iconic, to the degree of instant recognizability even on a t shirt or a sticker from far away, and i try to make my drawings strictly legible and generally focus on communicating ideas and emotions through big thematic and emotional gestures and strong colors that can be easily separated. this is one of the main reasons i havent developed as strong of a rendering/coloring habit; that kind of stuff is difficult to color separate for the purpose of solo DIY screen printing. but i've spent a pretty decent amount of time doing that stuff, and i spend time studying forms regardless, with the lines that i do use. a lot of my sketchbooks are me drawing literally the same thing over and over slightly differently until i have something that i feel is a strong enough cartoon to make into a shirt or patch or sticker design that satisfies a litany of criteria i have for what i consider strong cartooning.

anyway that was a very rambling post but i hope at least people get something out of it even if its just slight entertainment from me blowing hot air out of my mouth for 20 minutes.

[abubblingcandle]

For Word Wednesday

Boat

Train

Plane

Car

Get ready my friend for what you have been recieving from me already tbh and what I am writing most of the time which is Roy and Jamie talking on different modes of transport!

Plane - from The Richmond Job Ch17

“Beard! Beard don’t you fucking dare hang up. I can’t fly a plane! Beard,” Jamie yelled but the other end of the phone was empty. He was on his own. His whole team was on that plane and Beard was relying on him to take control of the plane. Beard’s code was sound. He trusted Beard’s code but he needed to get that code through the Jet2 firewalls and embedded into the remote monitoring and then he had to land the fucking plane. Jamie’s chest felt like an elephant was crushing down on it as he frantically searched for breath. His vision swum as his grip tightened around the laptop. His dad’s voice swum in his mind as he tried to clear his vision, “You’re thick Junior, ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

This sprint got me 358 words on Ch3!!

Train - from Everybody Wants To Be On TV Ch6 (I say the word train at least 20 times in this chapter!)

“This way,” the hunters’ voices cut through the spattering of conversation of those late to their train. They were already cutting it fine and the thump of running footsteps were getting closer and closer. Roy’s arm was yanked to the side this time and they jumped onto the train … the wrong train. “We try and leave them on the train,” Jamie grinned. He muttered apologies as he danced around people’s legs and bags whereas Roy was much more like a bull in a china shop thundering through behind him. The hunters were about a carriage behind them. Jamie paused to wink to a kid that murmured “is that Jamie Tartt?” and Roy nearly barrelled him to the floor.

This sprint got 269 words for Ch7!

Car - from Are We There Yet? Ch2

“I thought you would be picking me up at 4am,” Jamie laughed as he threw his bags onto the back seat alongside Roy’s. Roy grunted, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “I wouldn’t have minded it as it would mean more time with mummy,” Jamie had noticed that Roy was not planning on replying and so carried on his conversation anyway. “And the roads would be quieter.” “It’s bad to drive at night,” Roy grunted. Jamie slid into the car and spun to face Roy with a tilt of his head. “Why?” “It’s harder to see,” Roy’s response was barely audible. He could have lied and made up any sort of reason but he just couldn’t be bothered. He had already been coerced into this and he had already had confessed he didn’t see too well at night anymore so what was the effort worth? Jamie’s eyes lit up, ok maybe there was a downside.

This sprint got 149 words of Roy and Jamie bickering in a car!

Boat - from Everybody Wants To Be On TV Ch8

“Why the fuck do you have a boat guy?” Roy couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Why don’t you?” Jamie frowned. He eyed the shelves before grabbing about twenty different pot noodles and cup a soups. They were going to be hiding on a boat, the nutritionist would be having a coronary but Roy would whip Jamie back into shape. “Because when the fuck am I going to need a boat?” Roy growled, pushing the trolley along behind Jamie’s retreating form. “You have a fake ID man, when were you planning on needing a fake ID?” “I assumed I was going to be arrested or need to go on the run at some point,” Roy shrugged. “Yeah that’s fair,” Jamie nodded, adding some canned hotdogs to the trolley.

This sprint got another 232 words in Ch7 :)

[soundwavefucker69]

weird thing happened on tiktok earlier. i came across a tiktok where one of those "autism moms" posted a video of her toddler daughter, hidden behind a kitchen island where we couldn't see her face, having a screaming meltdown.

she must have left her echo chamber of "autism mommies" because there were a fair amount of autistic adults telling her off. i need to make it clear: it is EXTREMELY common for autism moms to post their children having meltdowns to assure other autism moms that this is normal and "educate" people about the nature of autism.

i decided to chime in and specifically said "i am so glad i was not diagnosed as a child because of moms like you. you think she's gonna thank you in ten years for this?" seriously. i often think that maybe it's a good thing i was not diagnosed, and i was extremely to have been born when i was when the internet existed on a home computer and smartphones didn't come out until i was in middle/high school.

she actually replied to me and gave me a canned response about how her daughter, who looks like she's maybe three, idk, is grateful to be diagnosed and she's being raised to be her "best autistic self". i then reminded her that she's not responding to my initial post and she should not be posting her child's meltdowns online. she went silent for several hours, and by the time she got back to me, the audio was removed. she said she removed the audio and was sorry she upset me. i told her it wasn't about my feelings. i'm an adult. i can manage my own upsets. the point was about her child and how she will be humiliated in 10, 20 years because this is a big digital footprint and she isn't even using a nickname for her daughter, she's using her actual legal first name.

the mom actually replied with a real apology and said she's listening and learning.

i just liked the comment and disengaged, but it's kind of changed my perspective on autism moms. i think our culture has heavily normalized posting everything online to be judged by the masses. i myself am a victim of this, and when it gets to parenting, a lot of parents have blind spots. i figured she's now going to take baby steps to protect her children on the internet, bc she was actually receptive to learning.

personally, i do not believe that you should post your children on the internet in any shape or form. there's a parent i actually like on tiktok that only talks about their kids when they're doing their makeup or dying their hair. (drives me nuts that they use no gloves for vivid dyes, no brush, just rawdogging it with their hands, but hey, they're an adult, and if they want stained hands, that's their business). but i have never seen a single video or picture of their children.

but, ultimately, i genuinely think you should not post your children. for a couple of reasons. we learned with family youtubers and their comment sections that pedophiles actively search out child content and sometimes, when they feel particularly bold, engage with it beyond just watching. you never know if someone is jacking off to videos of your children. pedophiles are a minority on the internet, but they actively search out child focused content and get off to it. it's a little harder on tiktok if you stick to the fyp, not the following page, because it cycles through material you might find interesting. but, they can just stick to their following page.

another reason is about child autonomy. your digital footprint is incredibly fucking important in today's culture. you should have the choice to not have a digital footprint, or have it on your own terms, when you are old enough to manage. your parents should not be making that choice for you. they should be protecting you. ofc, i enjoy watching videos of gentle parenting, which is so incredibly important for people to start engaging in, but in the past six months, i have started making the active choice to not watch videos where you can see children's faces. there's ways of showing gentle parenting in a way that still protects you r child. you don't have to post your children. you can talk about issues your children had today, using nicknames, not their legal names, and how they walked through it with your help. you don't have to actively show them to do that.

but, in the case with this mom, i thought "okay. she took a pretty big step today to listen to autistic adults about protecting her child". she should have just deleted the video, but i'm not too pressed about it, because you can't actually see her daughter's face. so, i didn't press her on the issue. baby steps are important. people typically dig in their heels if you start outright attacking them, no matter what good points you make. and she was already under a lot of fire, so i figured whatever i said at that point would go in one ear and out the other.

i think, in general, we're getting better about raising our children. but, people still have the mindset that they're children. which is true, ofc, but i think we need to start coming at it from angle of "these are future adults, and we need to treat them the way we would treat them if they were adults, within reason". i fucking despise autism moms, but i don't fully think they need to be attacked and shamed for their choices, unless it's outright malicious abuse. they'll just double down. but we do need to figure out a better culture. a lot of these autism moms genuinely think they're acting in the best interests of their child, and yes, many of them are just raging ableists, but the majority just aren't putting enough thought to their decisions. they infantilize their children, but i think today was a little victory. she started to view her child as a future adult, not a helpless autistic child who will be completely unaware of everything around her. it's a little step. hopefully, this autism mom will speak to other autism moms, and they'll start realizing that posting their children's meltdowns on the internet, no matter the intent behind it, is not okay. prioritizing another autism mom's "reassurance" over your child's autonomy is not okay. it's just most autistic moms forget their child does have autonomy.

anyways. i just wanted to talk about that. it's not that i don't think autism moms don't deserve to be shamed. it's just that if they're humiliated en masse, odds are they will simply double down. and that doesn't actually help the autistic child they're raising. in general, if we come at people who are probably not acting maliciously, just stupidly, with compassion and sternness, they're going to realize just how fucking stupid they're being. so, i guess, the next time you see an autism mom acting a fool on the internet, recenter her attention on the child's well being. don't come for her personally. prioritize the child she's harming.

[foxydivaxx]

Another classic example of Wrestler Au Sanji’s stellar mic skills

Judge: I wonder what Sanji even sees in you

Sanji: *walks down the ramp* Who the fuck told ya it was open night mic bitch?!

Everyone: Whoa!!

Sanji: *gets in the ring and glares at his dad* What’s wrong old fart? Did ya see a ghost? Or is that old rotten brain of yours short circuiting? Is that an electric spark I see going off there?

Zoro: *snickers*

Sanji: Either way, since I am Smackdown’s general manager, let me make some things real clear to you. You see this guy right here? *points at Zoro* Don’t you ever ever fucking yap my husband!! Like bitch that is my fucking job!! I mean granted, Marimo here cannot control his fucking dick half the time. But who am I to talk? I open my damn legs to the other motherfuckers at the back and none of them ever fucking satisfy me!! I mean, they are not as deranged as Marimo here.

Yusuke: Shit *laughs*

Gojo: *falls over laughing*

Sanji: Now Mossy and I have one rule. If we are gonna get frisky with the others, never ever bring that shit to the house. I am saying this now because the last time Marimo tried that shit, I gave him a nice trip to space mountain and milked him dry to the point where he spent all month long screaming, “WOOO!!” Because I am that bitch in case he did not say so and why would he since I am his bitch!!! Like I am not that same Sanji you bastards used to fuck with!! I guess having that monster dick up my ass 24/7 has brought out my inner bitch!!

Everyone: *laughs*

Sanji: He may be the Demon Prince but I do not fear this motherfucker in any shape or form and I make sure he knows that once I have him begging and moaning like the fucking bitch that he is!! But the very next day, he gets to have his revenge for obvious reasons and he fucks me so damn good that I am literally sore the next day. That’s how we roll. So your stupid talk about Marimo’s dick is rendered invalid.

Commentator: Uh oh

*Everyone’s jaws drop at that revelation*

Ichiji: Bitch what?!

Sanji: So I suggest you bitches take your fucking asses and get out of my fucking ring before I fucking kill someone!!

Dio: He got a big mouth *laughs*

Gilgamesh: Man Zoro is one lucky S.O.B

[serpulalacrymans]

//I am a writer who likes to create a friendly and inviting environment. I try my best to do so, anyway. I like making friends! I do my best to keep the peace, I like to think I'm friendly and easy to get along with-

//But none of this means you're automatically invited into my friend circle. Let that be fucking clear. I'm a friendly neighbor. I'm your Tumblr friend. I'm a good acquaintance, or a fun mutual. We can absolutely be friends. But make no mistake- If you don't have my Discord, or any other social media of mine that I have provided to you, all we are, are Tumblr friends.

//I like getting along with people, and I adore and cherish the friends I do have on this website. It is genuine friendship. I do care. Even if we hardly talk, if we haven't interacted in months, that doesn't mean I've forgotten you or left you behind- but it also doesn't mean you're entitled to me in any way shape or form. It doesn't put you on the same level of my other friends who I've known for years, who know so much about me, who know my name and my favorite dinosaur, who have history with me.

//I am also aware that I don't personally talk in DM's a lot. I know. I know it would help if I did. But know I have... like NO friendship decay, so unless we've been dormant for decades or something, I'll just kinda respond as if we've been talking every day. None of this is INTENTIONAL, I just have a very hard time talking and keeping up with people. This isn't an excuse, it's just an explanation. I still love you the same as I did 4 months ago when we both said Hey exactly once. And I know it isn't very fair for me to just.. Expect everyone else to come chat ME up while I sit and wait for it, but DM's aren't all there is- if I like you, I will interact. I will like your posts. I will send the occasional ask/post reply.

//It really fucking sucks that my outlet is ONCE AGAIN taken and turned into something weird and uncomfortable for me. If you want to be closer friends, just talk to me. Let me know. And if I want to be, I'll let you know. We're adults.

//Not sharing the user out of respect, but things like this will never be okay. You don't know who I am. No one knows what these kinds of messages can do to a person. To sit there and guilt trip me, pretending like I have soured your favorite character is bullshit and it's not right to put that, or anything else, on me. I hate that I have to sit here and explain this shit to grown ass adults. But apparently I need to.

//If you would like me to be more attentive and present, now is the time to let me know. If you feel neglected by me, let me know. If you want to be closer, LET ME KNOW and I will give it a try.

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 11

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 7,178

Author's Note: I'm really having doubts about this chapter but I hope you guys like it! Since one of my favorite RomComs (How to lose a guy in 10 days) is trending on tiktok, I thought I would include a small part! Also, shout out to @iheqrtaustin for the idea of Elvis getting handsy when he finds out someone has a crush on Jess.

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 11

Elvis and the guys were in the Jungle room recording some new music. Graceland was full house today with all the mafia members, their wives and their kids so it was kind of hectic but fun. I loved being around kids, not so much in regards to teenagers but none of the mafia members had kids older than 10/11. Everyone was running around having fun, I walked down to the Jungle room to see if Elvis needed anything.

I opened the door quietly, making sure they weren’t in the middle of recording a song. They were all talking and chatting with one another.

“Hey guys.” I smiled.

“Hi Jess!” They all said in unison which made me chuckle. 

“Do you guys need anything?” 

“Water please doll.” Elvis said, the rest of the guys nodding along.

“Popcorn.” Charlie said. 

I chuckled “You got it Charlie.”

I looked back at Elvis to see him frowning looking between Charlie and me. I furrowed my brows but chose to ignore it.

“I’ll be back.” I said and walked out. 

“Uh uh.” I heard Elvis say as I walked down with popcorn and bottles of water for the Mafia members “She’s off limits.” 

I stopped and furrowed my brows. I know it was wrong to listen in on conversations but I couldn’t help but be nosy.

“But-“ Charlie sighed “She’s gorgeous and kind and funny! Plus she has a really nice butt.” 

“Charlie. Don’t.” Jerry warned. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Elvis growled.

“What? It’s true.” Charlie chuckled awkwardly “Look E.P I just wanted your permission to ask her out on a date. That’s it.” 

“Don’t you dare talk about her in that way.” Elvis growled “Have some respect.”

“We always talk about girls that way.” Charlie replied. 

“Listen. She’s my assistant and she’s. Off. Limits. I don’t want anyone getting involved with her.” Elvis replied.

Oh shit, they’re talking about me. Charlie thinks my butt is nice?? Ew.

“It’s just a date. Why is she off limits?” Charlie replied quietly. 

“I think she’s seeing someone actually.” Jerry said.

I am? What does Jerry know that I don’t?

“What?” Charlie and Elvis asked in unison.

“Who?” Elvis continued. 

“I don’t know.” Jerry cleared his throat “Grace mentioned some guy called Matt.” 

Elvis scoffed “Please. She’s been on one date with the guy and said nothing came of it.” 

We also almost kissed at Elvis’ party but I haven’t talked to him in a while. Janice has been hounding me on calling him and going out on a date with him. 

I knocked on the door, deciding enough was enough. Why the hell were they discussing my dating life and I hated being the topic of conversation in their locker room talk. I was just glad Elvis and Jerry put a stop to it instead of letting Charlie go on. I liked Charlie, he was sweet and funny but I’m not attracted to him in any way, shape or form. 

“Okay.” I forced a smile, pretending like I didn’t just hear any of that “Water for everyone and popcorn for Charlie.” I said, placing the tray filled with water bottle and a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. I didn’t look at Charlie, I didn’t want him to think I was flirting with him or doing something to encourage his thoughts especially after getting drunk together and dancing with him. 

“Let me know if you need anything else, I’ll be upstairs.” I said, looking at Elvis who nodded in response. The mafia threw around a murmur of thank yous as they reached for the water. 

I walked up the stairs seeing the kids running around and shouting as they played tag. They were being a bit loud and Elvis was trying to record. 

“Hey kids!” I shouted getting their attention “How about we go outside, enjoy the sun and play tag.” 

“Yeah!” They all cheered and ran outside.

“Jess, you don't have to do that.” One of the wives laughed. 

“It’s okay, I love kids. Plus I think Elvis might march up here at any minute saying that he can’t record.” 

I headed outside to see the kids waiting patiently for me to come out. 

“Okay, I’ll count to ten. Everybody hide!” I said and turned to give them my back while I counted. 

I ran after the kids while they shrieked loudly and ran away from me. I laughed as I ran after Sofia and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, picking her up “Tag, you’re it!” I said while she giggled. I placed her back on the grass and ran away from her.  

We had been playing for a while when the kids decided they wanted to tackle me instead of playing tag. 

“Get Jess!” Ethan, one of the kids yelled which made all of them run after me while I sprinted across the yard. 

I could see the group of adults standing on the foyer, Elvis being one of them, standing with his arms crossed of his chest and a huge grin on his face. 

“Save me!” I laughed, still running away from the huge group of kids. 

“Get her kids!” Elvis yelled. 

“Traitor!” I yelled back and then shrieked when Elvis jumped down the steps that lead to the house and started running after me along with the kids. 

I sped up but Elvis was faster and was able to wrap his arms around my waist and tackled me softly to the ground, making sure he landed on the bottom while I landed on top of him with my back against his chest. We were both laughing as the kids threw themselves on top of us. 

“Ouch!” I laughed when one of the kids’ elbows dug into my ribs.

“Okay! Okay! Kids off!” Joe yelled, clapping his hands “Come on!” 

The kids groaned and got off. I rolled off of Elvis and got up, dusting off my jeans. I reached my hand out to Elvis, he grabbed my hand and pushed himself off the ground. 

“Jess, will you still play with us?” Ethan asked. 

“Yeah come on, one more round and then that’s it.” I replied “Go take a break, drink some juice and we’ll play the next round.” 

“You’re really good with kids.” Elvis said, smiling softly. 

“It’s the big sister in me.” I chuckled, shrugging.

“Aren’t you supposed to be recording?” I asked, walking towards the house with Elvis walking next to me. 

“I was but then the kids and your screams kept interrupting us.” Elvis replied, giving me a pointed look.

“Oops.” I laughed “I took them outside so that you can record, it seems like I was no help.” 

“It’s okay.” He laughed. 

“Let’s go!” The kids yelled, running out of the house.

“Play with us.” I said, grabbing his arm when he started going up the steps.

“No.” He shook his head.

“Pleaaase.” I pouted, squeezing his forearm. He frowned looking at me for a second then he rolled his eyes. 

“Fine.” He huffed. 

I grinned, power of manipulation. Seems like the King can’t handle when someone pouts. 

We started with Elvis being it, he ran towards me making me sprint the other way “Sofia! Save me!”

“No!” Sofia giggled. 

I gasped “Sofia! You’re supposed to be my friend!” 

“No one is going to save you Jess!” Elvis chuckled, still running after me and completely ignore the kids he ran past. 

“You’re it!” Elvis yelled when he tapped my shoulder and ran away from me. I huffed and turned to run after him. 

“I’m done! I don’t want to play anymore!” He yelled, running away from me. 

I laughed at him “That’s not fair!” 

Elvis grabbed Ethan and placed him in front of him “One more step Jessica and off goes the boy.” He threatened. 

“Please Jess tag me! You guys are no fun! You’re just playing with each other.” Ethan grumbled, trying to shrug Elvis’ hands off of his shoulders. 

“I don't want to play! Tag Ethan!” Elvis said. I grinned and side stepped Ethan, making Elvis take off. 

“You’re so fast! You and your incredibly long legs!” I yelled after Elvis. Elvis laughed and headed towards the pool, putting the pool between us. 

“No where to go!” I said. 

“Actually, there is somewhere to go.” He smirked. I furrowed my brows when all of a sudden he came running towards me. I gasped when he hugged me to him and threw both of us into the pool. 

“Oh you son of a bitch.” I gasped, laughing when I shot out of the water. Elvis laughed and slicked his now wet hair back and away from his forehead. I laughed, placing my hands on his shoulders and pushed him down into the water. I held his head down for a second when he started tickling my sides under water, I shrieked and dropped my hands off of his shoulders. 

“Were you trying to drown your boss?” Elvis asked with a huge grin on his face.

“Yes! And I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for my ticklish body.” 

Elvis laughed and reached over to swipe some of my wet hair back and away from my face. I smiled softly, feeling my cheeks heat up at the close proximity. Elvis and I were a few inches away from one another. His grin faltered and he sighed, his eyes drifting down to my lips. He kept his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth. I licked my lips, looking at his lips. 

“Are we going to continue the game or are you guys going to start making out?” Ethan asked, with his hands on his waist. Elvis allowed his hand to fall off of my cheek. 

“Ethan!” I gasped, splashing water at him. 

Ethan laughed and ran away. Elvis sighed and started going up the steps to get out of the pool.

“We need to start getting ready for the BBQ tonight.” Elvis said, not looking back at me as he walked into the house dripping wet. My heart was still racing as I followed Elvis out of the pool and into the house. 

I showered and got dressed in a dress for the BBQ, the house was in full swing. The guys and Elvis were preparing the meat, the wives were setting up the tables, Martha and I prepared the mashed potatoes and salads while the kids continued running around playing various games. 

Elvis kind of avoided me the entire time we were setting up, I also kind of did the same since I really wanted to kiss him. 

Did he feel the intense feeling I felt while we were in the pool? Sometimes I just have this overwhelming need to be close to him. Was it because he was kind of a forbidden fruit or am I actually developing feelings for this man? We are definitely a great team, my job doesn’t feel like a job most of the time. Slowly over the course of the two years I have worked for him we had gotten closer and closer. Even the simple act of him defending me makes my heart swell. I know he will always protect me and I will always protect him even if it is from his own father. 

The men started distributing the steaks, I usually made my own at the end because I loved mine medium rare so I was waiting for everyone to get their meat and head to the sides buffet. I walked out of the kitchen and into the yard with a bunch of drinks for everyone. As I placed the drinks on the table, Elvis walked to me with two plates of steak in his hands.

“Here.” He said, handing me one of the plates “I made yours medium rare.” He fake gaged, he loved his well done. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at him. 

“You made mine?” I asked, taking the plate from his hand. 

“Yes.”

“Thank you Elvis.” I smiled, be still my heart. 

“Your welcome darlin’” He smiled softly. 

Everyone took a seat at the multiple tables that were placed on the yard but I couldn’t find an empty chair for myself. I took my plate with me, heading towards the house to grab a chair from the kitchen. I passed the table where Elvis, Charlie, Red and Joe sat at.

“Where you goin’ doll?” Elvis asked. I stopped by their table.

“I need to see if there are any extra chairs inside, there’s no place for me to sit.” I replied. Elvis smirked then turned his head and smirked at Charlie who furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Nonsense. There’s plenty for room right here.” Elvis replied gesturing to his lap. 

“Funny.” 

What was he trying to do? Make Charlie jealous?

“I ain’t makin’ a joke doll.” He replied, still smirking. He rolled his eyes then wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me down to his lap.

“Elvis.” I said through gritted teeth. Elvis chuckled, placing his hand on my bare thigh and moved my legs so that they were between his legs, I was now siting sideways on his lap. I held my breath at the slight touch. The mafia chuckled while Charlie gulped and stared intently down at his plate. 

I sighed and placed my plate next to his. 

I was frozen in place, Elvis’ arms still around me. The arm that was around me held the knife while the other held the fork. He cut into his steak and took a bite. 

“Aren’t you going to eat, Jess?” Joe asked, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing at how uncomfortable I looked siting on my boss’ lap.

“I’m good.” I smiled timidly at Joe, he chuckled and shook his head. 

Elvis on the other hand paid no attention and reached for my plate, cutting into my steak. 

“Here.” He said raising his fork to my mouth. I moved my head back and turned to look at him, my mouth gaping open.

“Just eat darlin’.” He chuckled. 

“No.” I grumbled, pushing his hand away. I placed my feet on the ground, moving to get off his lap. Elvis dropped the knife and placed his hand on my waist, pushing me back to sit on his lap.

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” He whispered in my ear “Now eat.” He growled lowly. 

I sighed and ate the piece of meat that was on the fork he held.

“That’s my good girl.” He whispered in my ear and looked towards the mafia to see them all looking at their plates as they ate, he quickly planted a small kiss on my neck. I choked on the steak as his lips made contact with my neck.

“Wow.” Elvis chuckled and patted my back softly “You alright?”

“Yes.” I replied and reached to take a sip of water “You are so dead.” I whispered into my cup before taking a sip. 

Elvis threw his head back and laughed “I didn’t do anything!”

“You wish she was siting in your lap, huh Charlie?” Elvis asked with a huge smirk on his face. 

“Elvis.” I hissed. Charlie choked on his steak while Joe and Red laughed at him. 

“Don’t listen to him Charlie. Ignore him.” I said. 

“Jess.” Grace said walking up to our table “You can use my chair, I’m done eating.” She said pointing at her chair which was two tables away from us.

“Thanks Grace.” I replied, she gave me a look that said “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Thanks Grace but she’s fine here, ain’t that right Jessica?” Elvis asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“No, you’re very wrong actually.” I replied, grabbing his hand that has now started to softly caress my bare thigh and pushed it off. He pouted when I stood up, I reached over and pinched his arm. 

“Ouch! What was that for!” He laughed, rubbing his arm. 

“For being annoying.” I replied, picking up my plate. The other mafia members laugh at Elvis while he rubs his arm to ease the pain. 

That son of a bitch. Embarrassing Charlie and I like that. He deserved a punch to his shoulder instead. 

We had music playing the entire time but after dinner the TCB band got on the make shift stage in the yard and started goofing around using their instruments. People were getting up on the stage and singing, the BBQ kind of turned into a karaoke party and it was hilarious. 

“What the heck was that earlier!” Grace asked standing next to me as we watched one of the mafia wives sing. 

“I don’t know! Ugh! I wanna punch him!” I grumbled.

Grace laughed and shook her head “Jerry told me that Charlie has a crush on you.” She wiggled her brows.

“I know! I overheard him saying he wanted to ask me out on a date! Grace, he’s not my type at all!” 

“Yeah, I know your type.” Grace replied and pointed at Elvis with her eyes. 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes but didn’t deny it. 

“And you know what I think he was trying to do? I think he was showing Charlie that you were his.”

“His?! No. I think he was trying to show that he’s the alpha male, that asshole.” I huffed. 

“You need to open your eyes Jess.” Grace said “Jerry and I see the way you two look at each other.” She said sincerely. I gulped nervously, avoiding her eyes. 

“I wanna sing.” I said, staring at the stage “Come up with me.” I said pulling on her hand.

“No way.” Grace shook her head.

“Please! I can’t get up there on my own.” I pouted. 

“Fine, but which song?” Grace asked. I smirked, I knew the exact song to dedicate it to Elvis. 

“Oh no.” Grace laughed, reading my mind. 

Let’s be clear, I don’t have the best singing voice and if you would’ve told me a year ago I would be singing in front of Elvis Presley I would’ve laughed in your face but after spending so much time with him I no longer feel shy to sing in front of him. Plus, he’s heard me scream along to music in the car. 

“You’re so vain by Carly Simon.” I whispered to the band. They smiled and nodded, knowing the song because it came out recently and its been a big hit. 

I looked at Elvis and smirked while he smiled back at me. 

“For you.” I mouthed to him and winked. He furrowed his brows and sat up in his seat, straightening his back.

Grace started singing the beginning of the song while I waited for my turn to start singing the song.

“And all the girls dreamed they’d be Elvis’ partner! They’d be Elvis’ partner, and!” I sang loudly into the mic “You’re so vain!” I grinned and pointed at Elvis “You probably think this song is about you, you’re so vain! I bet you think this song is about you, don’t you, don’t you!”

Elvis rolled his eyes, biting his smile back. Grace and I continued singing and dancing, the other wives singing loudly along with us. I obviously don’t think he’s vain but he really annoyed me plus the song was stuck in my head ever since it came out. 

Grace and I laughed and hugged each other as the song came to an end. 

After a few more people went up, Elvis came to stand next to me.

“Nice song.”

“Thanks, I hope you liked the dedication.” I smirked. 

“Oh I loved it.” He replied sarcastically “I especially loved the lyric change to my name.” 

“I think that line was the only line that’s true about you in the song.” I chuckled.

“So you don’t think I’m vain?” 

I gaped and turned to look at him “You didn’t think I was serious right?”

He chuckled and shook his head “No, I didn't think you were serious. Did I think you were getting up on that stage and proclaiming your endless love to me through a song? Maybe.” He joked. 

“I was thinking of singing I love you, baby to Charlie.” I joked. 

Elvis gave me a poker face “Not funny.” He grumbled. 

“Who’s next?” John asked into the mic.

“Elvis!” I yelled, grabbing Elvis’ hand and raising up in the air.

Elvis shook his head, no.

“Elvis! Elvis!” Everyone started to chant. 

Elvis sighed and pulled his hand out of my grasp “This is the second time I do something for you today.” He said, poking my nose while I grinned at him in victory. 

“How will I ever repay you?” I asked sarcastically.

He grinned and leaned in, as if about to hug me but instead whispered in my ear “You. In my room, once everyone is gone.” 

I took a deep breath, feeling like my entire body was on fire. 

He grinned moving back to see my face. I clenched my jaw which made him chuckle “You’re so cute.” 

“Go.” I grumbled, pushing him back by pushing his chest.  

He laughed and headed towards the stage. 

“Okay! Any requests?” Elvis asked, swinging a guitar over his shoulder. 

“Lawdy Miss Clawdy!” I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth. 

“Anything for you.” He winked, speaking into the mic.

Why is he being overly flirtatious? 

Grace turned from where she stood next to Jerry to give me a look. I rolled my eyes at her. 

Her words rang through my head for a second before I shook them off “I think he was showing Charlie that you were his.”

He started singing, fully keeping eye contact with me as he sang the lyrics.

“Well, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy. Girl, you sure look good to me. But please don’t excite me baby, I know it can’t be me.” He grinned. 

“Lord, I swear, girl, what you’ve been doin’ to me. I’m gonna tell everybody that I’m down in misery.” He wiggled his brows which made me chuckle.

“So bye, bye, bye baby!” I yelled, singing along making him chuckle mid song “Girl, I won’t be coming no more! Goodbye, little darling, down the road I’ll go!”

“That’s it! Thank you!” Elvis said, removing the strap off the guitar and handed the guitar over to John. 

I was finally able to catch up with Janice after being on tour but she kept on hounding me on calling Matt up. She says it would be cute for us to both be in a relationship at the same times since her and Chris made things official over the four months that I was gone. I liked Matt, I don’t know him well enough and honestly he’s been out of my mind since Elvis and I slept together but I decided why not give it a shot. I called him up and asked him out on a date during the weekend because it was my day off. For some reason I felt slightly guilty going out with him when I know I shouldn’t be. Elvis clearly moved on the day it happened and slept with so many girls after me so I shouldn’t be feeling the way I was. I ignored it and got ready instead. It was 6PM and I was almost done getting ready when someone knocked on my bedroom door. Opening the door I was met with Grace.

“Hey! What are you doin’ here?” I grinned.

“Jerry needed to drop some things and I thought I would come and see what plans you have for the weekend. Based on the way you look, you’re going out!” She wiggled her brows “Please tell me its a guy.”

I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face “It is.” 

“That Matt guy you told me about?” 

“Yup.” 

“Does Elvis know?” She raised her brow.

I frowned “Why should Elvis know?”

“No reason. Just asking.” She shrugged “So what are you guys doing?”

“Early dinner at that Italian place then maybe a walk in the park.” 

Grace smiled softly “Have fun Jess.”

Matt and I were having a great time at dinner. We talked a lot and were having a lot of fun. We started walking along the side walk a few blocks from the restaurant. Matt slowly reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers together. I looked up at him and smiled while he blushed and smiled back. 

“I hope you liked our date.” He said.

“I really enjoyed it, Matt.” I smiled. 

“I honestly keep getting the vibe that you might not want this. So I was shocked when you called me yesterday.” He said, still holding my hand as we walked. 

“You know I was gone for like four months and honestly I don’t think a relationship would work if I’m away a lot.” 

“You want this to be a relationship?” He asked, biting his lip.

“We’ll see.” I chuckled. 

“So we’ll go on more dates?” He asked, his eyes lighting up with hope. 

“Yeah, why not?” 

Matt stopped walking and pulled me back to stand in front of him, he grabbed my other hand and smiled down at me “We never got to kiss at that party.”

“Yeah.” I breathed. It was weird that I didn’t get this intense feeling to kiss him. This pull that I always felt when I was with Elvis, it was like he had this gravitational pull to him and I couldn’t help but want to lean in to feel his lips on mine. 

He leaned in cautiously, his eyes glancing back and forth between my eyes and lips, gauging my reaction. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. His lips gently met mine, he smiled against my lips. It was sweet but it didn’t make my heart beat out of my chest, it didn’t make me feel like I couldn’t breathe. I pulled back and smiled reassuringly, I didn’t want him to think I didn’t like the kiss. 

“Let’s go get some ice cream?” I asked. 

“Sure.” He grinned and nodded. 

We continued walking hand in hand when all of a sudden a loud honk from a car burst out next to us. I jumped, because the car appeared out of no where and the street that we were walking on was practically empty. I turned as the car pulled up next to us with the windows rolled down.

“Get in the car.” Elvis growled from the driver’s seat. 

What in the hell?

“Elvis?” What was he doing here.

“Get. In. The. Car. Jess.” Elvis said not looking at me but instead looking straight ahead. 

“Hey man, we’re kind of in the middle of something right now.” Matt said, squeezing my hand. 

“Hey man” Elvis mocked Matt’s tone, turning to look at us. “I wasn’t talking to you.” Elvis’ jaw clenched when his eyes drifted to our joined hands. I gulped and pulled my hand out of Matt’s grip, choosing not to fight Elvis because I had never seen him this angry even in the darkness of the night I could tell he was mad about something.

“It’s okay Matt. I’ll-I’ll call you later, okay?” I practically whispered to him. 

“Jess.” Matt shook his head “We’re on a date, it’s you day off. You have no obligation to him.” 

“It’s fine. Raincheck, okay?” I gave him a forced smile. 

Matt sighed and nodded. I reached over and grabbed the handle of Elvis’ Cadillac, opening the door and getting in. The moment I slammed the door shut, Elvis sped off. 

He was gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He kept clenching and unclenching his jaw, looking straight at the road.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” I asked, really confused. 

How did he even know where I was? 

He breathed heavily and ignored me. The restaurant we ate at wasn’t far from Graceland so we got home fast. Elvis got out of the car and slammed the door harshly causing the whole car to shake. He grumbled something under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fist, storming into the house. I remained seated in the car, shocked and confused. I got out of the car and walked up the steps that lead to the house. Grace and Jerry walked out just as I was about to open the door. 

“I’m really sorry Jess.” Grace winced. 

“Why?” I furrowed my brows, confused as to why she’s apologizing. 

“He asked me where you went and I thought just to provoke him, I told him you went on a date with Matt. I didn’t think he’d drive over to you and pick you up.” 

“How would that provoke him?” I asked.

“Jess.” Jerry started.

“Jess, did something happen between you two? He seemed really hurt when I told him.” Grace interrupted. 

I chose to ignore her question. “I don't get why he’s mad. He’s mad that I went out on a date? He has no right to be, he has slept with dozens of girls.” I said, starting to get mad. Especially after knowingly making me walk in on him fucking a girl and then making me get him another girl to fuck. Was he doing that on purpose? To get me jealous. 

“I think you two need to talk.” Jerry replied.

The problem was right now I did not want to talk, I wanted to fight. 

Jerry and Grace left, I stormed into the house. 

“Why are you mad?” I asked when I saw Elvis stomping up the stairs, heading to his room.

“I’m not.” He growled. 

“Oh really?” I hissed. 

“Don’t start Jess.” He replied, continuing up the steps.

“You started it.”

“I did not.” He turned around “I needed you here and you weren’t there. You didn’t even tell me you’re going out.”

“Oh, you happen to need me on my day off? I don’t have to tell you anything. It’s My. Day. Off.” I growled. 

“When you’re going out fucking around with random guys-“ He growled but I interrupted him.

“Oh! So its okay for you to fuck other girls but I can’t fuck other guys?” I clenched my jaw, I hated how he made me feel like the dirtiest person. Hypocrite. 

“You fucked him?!” He yelled, storming down the stairs and coming to stand an inch away from my face, breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring. His eyes engulfed in rage, his bright blue eyes now dark as night. 

“Yes! And it was amazing.” I said, wanting to push his buttons. What was he going to do?

“I-I-I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He hissed, moving back and going to the table to grab his keys. He stomped to the front door, car keys in hand.

Oh crap, he’s serious. 

“Elvis! I didn’t!” I yelled jogging after him as he headed out, I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back “I didn’t sleep with him.” I said, gently.

He stared into my eyes, looking back and forth, seeing if I was lying or not. 

“Did you kiss him?” He whispered. I stayed quiet, dropping my hand from his arm. He clenched his jaw, grinding down on his molars, moving closer making me step back until the front door hit my back.

“Did. You. Kiss. Him?” 

I gulped “Yes.” I whispered. 

“That son of a bitch.” 

“You have no right to be mad.” I whispered. 

He grabbed my face with one hand and swiped his thumb harshly over my lips as if to wipe something off. 

“You deserve some serious spanking.” He muttered over his breath, still holding my face.

My chest heaved, starting into his eyes. Heat pooling down at the thought of being thrown over his knee. 

“Fuck this.” He grumbled, smashing his lips to mine. Oh fuck I missed those lips. I moaned, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth. I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him closer. His hand slipped from my face instead grabbing onto my hips, pulling me closer to him. My pelvis pushing into his, I could feel his semi hard on poking my hip. He reached back and opened the front door, pushing me into the house while still kissing me. 

“Elvis.” I sighed against his lips. 

“Hmm?” He asked, kissing my lips. 

“Elvis.” I said, pulling my face back. Both of us panting heavily, my hands still on his chest and his hands still wrapped around my waist. 

“Don’t Jess.” Elvis sighed, shaking his head. 

“We can’t.” I whispered “You know we can’t.” 

“Tell me this kiss was better. You know it was.” He said, leaning his forehead on mine.

It was. Of course it was. He didn't even have to ask.

“Elvis, the kiss with Matt was barely a peck.” I whispered, moving my hands up to cup his cheeks. He sighed, keeping his forehead on mine and closed his eyes as I caressed his cheeks. 

I didn’t want to admit that it was way better and I felt nothing when I kissed Matt but maybe it’s because I developed an emotional connection with Elvis that made the kiss way better. I’m trying to gaslight myself at this point to believe I would feel something for Matt. I wanted to, he was sweet and kind and funny and… safe. 

Elvis then leaned in a planted a chaste kiss on my lips “Let’s not do anything you’ll regret tomorrow.” He whispered then pulled away and walked up the stairs without turning back. He slammed his bedroom door with force. He emphasized you. I didn’t really regret it, it was amazing but I think it placed this weird tension between us. I felt guilty for a second but the anger came back because he’s such a hypocrite. How dare he be mad at me for going on a date?! Just because we slept together he now thinks I owe him an explantation when I did nothing wrong. It wasn’t like I brought Matt over and paraded him around like he did with girls. He had no regard to my feelings so why should I regard his?

Thank god no one was home except Grandma Dodger who was probably asleep since it was 10PM, hopefully she didn’t hear our yelling because we were being so loud. I took a deep breath and stomped down to my room. I slammed my bedroom door shut and got ready for bed. Sleep felt like a lost cause because I kept tossing and turning especially since I wasn’t used to sleeping this early, I usually slept at midnight. My mind was racing. The Matt kiss, then Elvis appearing out of nowhere, the Elvis kiss. I kissed two guys in one night, who am I? I groaned, this day was so good then Elvis had to ruin it. I actually enjoyed the date, it was fun. Screw him, why am I up thinking about him anyway?! I squeezed my eyes shut and did some breathing exercises that I heard helped make your body relax and make you fall asleep. 

I don’t know how long I fell asleep for but I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. I opened my eyes and turned to the clock that was placed on my bedside table, it was 5AM. What the heck? Who’s up at 5AM?

I yawned, running my fingers through my hair to tame my bedhead down. I opened the door to see Elvis dressed in a thick jacket and jeans with a cowboy hat on his head. 

“Good morning.” He smiled. 

“Morning?” I said, it came out as a question because what is he doing here at 5 in the morning?

“Get dressed and wear a jacket, its cold outside.” He said and started to walk away.

“What, why?” I asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Just do it Jess and wear your cowboy hat and boots!” He called walking away, not turning around. 

What the heck? I shrugged but still got ready. It wasn’t that cold yet during this time of year but it was getting colder at night and early morning. So I wore a dress with some shorts underneath and a jean jacket with wool on the inside and my cowboy hat. I walked out of the house, the sun had just started to rise and it was kind of cold. I spotted Elvis feeding his horse Rising Sun. 

“What’s going on?” I called, leaning on the wooden fence. 

Elvis turned and grinned taking in my cowboy hat “Do you want to learn how to ride a horse?” 

I grinned “You’re going to teach me how to ride?”

He shrugged and nodded. I could tell from the look on his face that this was his apology for last night. Plus it made my heart pound in my chest because he remembered when I said I wanted to learn how to ride. 

“Elvis, you don’t have to.” I sighed. 

“I want to. Now come here.” He said. I walked over to the little wooden door and walked towards him and Rising sun.

“You’ve ever ridden a horse before?” He asked as I reached over to pet Rising Sun and shook my head no “Okay, I’ll help you up.”

I placed my foot on the saddle and tried jumping on but I couldn’t so instead Elvis wrapped his hands around my waist and hoisted me up on the horse. 

“You okay?” He laughed when he saw the grin on my face. 

“I’m more than okay.” I replied, looking down at him. 

“I’m glad. Let me lead you around and get you and Rising sun comfortable.” He said, pulling on his reins and leading the way. 

“This is the best day ever.” I said which made Elvis chuckle. 

“We’ve barely started. One step to getting your cowgirl fantasy.” He said. I laughed because he actually remembered everything I said that day. 

After a little bit of Elvis walking us around, he gave Rising Sun a snack for being a good boy. 

“Do you want to go get coffee and then we can get started on your official first lesson.” Elvis said. 

We walked together to the kitchen and drank our coffee then headed back to the stables. 

When we walked out we spotted Grace and Jerry getting out of their cars.

“Hey! Good morning! You guys are up early!” Grace said, looking between us. Probably thinking back to last night and if we were okay. I smiled reassuringly at her. 

“Yeah, I’m getting a horse riding lesson from this one.” I grinned at Elvis who smiled softly back at me “What are you guys doing here?” I asked. 

“Oh I needed to pick up some paperwork but we’re on our way to go visit my parents and its a few hours away.” Jerry replied. 

“It’s on my desk upstairs.” Elvis pointed back to the house. Jerry nodded and headed towards the house while Grace, Elvis and me walked to the horses. 

Elvis helped me up again on the horse while Grace leaned against the fence, watching us.

“Okay, pull on the reins and get him to walk.” Elvis said standing next to the horse. 

I pulled on the reins but he stayed still “He’s not moving.”

“Give him a little kick.” Elvis replied.

I gasped “I’m not going to kick him!” 

Elvis threw his head back and laughed “Just a small one, it doesn’t hurt them, don’t worry.”

I looked at him with uncertainty and shook my head no. 

“Honey, just a small kick.” 

“Jess! Turn!” Grace called out. I looked at her and smiled when I noticed her pointing her film camera at me “I got a new camera and you look really cute, I had to take a picture.”

I chuckled. 

“Okay, let me show you. Move up a bit.” Elvis said. I scooted forward on the saddle as Elvis hoisted himself up and swung his legs around the horse. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back into him a bit. His thighs wrapped around mine. “Okay, watch my foot.” He said and gently kicked Rising Sun causing him to trot forward. I jerked back into Elvis’ chest at the sudden movement. 

“Come here! Let me get a picture of you two.” Grace said calling us over. Elvis led Rising Sun to where Grace stood. We both smiled at Grace as she took the picture “Okay, now without the cowboy hats.”

I removed my hat and placed it on my lap, soothing my hair down while Elvis did the same. He then leaned his head forward and placed his chin on my shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist, both of us grinning at Grace. 

“Aww, so cute.” Grace said. 

Elvis kissed my cheek and leaned back, pulling on the reins to walk Rising Sun away. I bit my lip, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

Jerry and Grace waved goodbye, getting in their car and leaving. 

“Okay, you ready to do this on your own?” Elvis asked. I wanted to say no just to keep his arms wrapped around me but I nodded so he gently jumped down to the ground. 

“Actually I think it would be better if you wore a helmet, you’re not very confident and it sometimes scares the horse.” He said and stretched his hand to me, to help me off the horse. We walked to the stables, I hung my cowboy hat on one of the hooks. Elvis grabbed a horse riding helmet off the hook and placed it on my head, clipping it in place. 

“You ready?” He smiled at me, placing his hand on top of the helmet that was on my head and shook it. 

“Yes! Let’s go!” I said and pulled him with me. 

I got on the horse again and gently kicked him to move.

“Great! You’re doing so good!” Elvis said as I started walking Rising Sun around. 

I walked Rising sun around for a little while then I wanted him to trot. 

“Not yet.” Elvis said.

“Please.” I pouted. 

“Doll, you need to be really confident and know how to hold on.” Elvis shook his head “No.”

“Pleeaase.” I begged. He sighed and looked up at the sky “Just a little bit.”

“Fine, but hold on tight. Kick him a bit stronger. But please hold on tight.” Elvis said and leaned his back on the fence, crossing his arms over his chest. 

I kicked him stronger than the last time. 

“Wow!” I yelped and tightening my hold on him but it worked. 

“Good job!” Elvis grinned. 

I turned my head and smiled at him, loosening my hold on the reins when Rising Sun reared back and stood up on its hind legs. I gasped, my body jerking back. Everything felt like it was happening in slow-motion but it all happened in a second. I slipped off the horse and landed on the ground, my head slamming harshly on the sand. Darkness engulfed me, hearing Elvis call out to me from a distance. 

Taglist: @urrfavvana @girlblogger2002 @butlersluvbot @iheqrtaustin @dramaticpandabear @godlypresley

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[a-fantastic-time]

Guide to a Fantastic Time!

Hello everyone! Thank you for coming, I hope we have a grand old time. First things first, this is a 18+ Rp area, so I hope you please respect that we should do just fine. Rps do not need to go down that route, I am 100% down for SFW rps, but I mainly prefer NSFW. Just pointing that out now. Also I will absolutely will not do anything with anyone under age, characters or people.

Muses! Unfortunately I do not have a set listing for muses. I actually love to play as many characters as I can from different fandoms, or OCs that I have sorta made up and never really put them to pen and paper. So feel free to ask me about them, and I will gladly talk your ear off. Note that I do play any gender, be it Male/Female/Herms.

Fandoms! I will do my best to get as many of my favorite Fandoms/interest listed down, I will be editing this when I can, so if you ever have an interest, or show, or game that you like and you do not see it on my list. Please feel free to ask me about it, and maybe I can add it to the list.

List of Interests-

She-Ra The Dragon Prince Glitch Tech Transformers (series, not movies) TMNT(series, not movies) Steven Universe Big Hero 6 RWBY Marvel(Comics/Shows) DC(Comics/Shows) Halo Pokémon Digimon Mortal kombat Mass Effect Dragon age Final Fantasy (Any game/series) Boku no hero UnderTale DeltaRune Sonic(Series) Ben 10 Diablo League of Legends Wakfu Miraculous Ladybug Bleach D&D Yu-Gi-Oh Gargoyles Aliens(Franchise, and in general) Kaiju(Monsters in general, not just the franchises) Gundam (any series) Hazbin Hotel Helluva Boss Murder Drones Starwars Critical Role Destiny Warframe Panty & Stocking Resident Evil(all series)

RULES: More may be added at a later time. But for now please read and follow.

I absolutely do not "one line", I have told many people this and sometimes I do make exceptions depending on the situation like if you are tired and its late, or you are not feeling up to rp. If you continue to one-line after I give you a warning, After that, I will simply not reply.

I do not in any shape or form condone rape. I am ok with rough sex or maybe being dominate with my partner, but I will not participate in rape of any kind sorry.

I will do my best to message you first as soon as possible. If you do not get a message from me right away, its most likely because I thought I did or I forgot. So please let me know if I have yet to talk to you yet. I do not treat anyone as a number.

If you have a problem with the way I RP, then please let me know. I have no problems changing things to make the rp more pleasant for both parties. Whether it be either grammar, or possibly with how you prefer actions or talking to be placed in either ** or "". Please just let me know, and I will see how I can change it to make it more pleasing to you.

I am completely fine with rough to kinky sex, but I hate abusive sex. Examples: forcing me to suck, ride, fuck you when I do not want too. cussing me out while we fuck for the sake of demeaning someone during it to make yourself seem superior or saying you can do that just because your Dom/alpha is bullshit. If you do this I will tell you to quit it, but if you whine about not being allowed to be yourself you will be blocked enough said.

I enjoy futas/shemales/dickgirls as much as everyone else. But if you plan to stick anything in me, you will get the same treatment in return. Its how I see its fair. I do not care of your "DOM" or "Your only comfortable with giving". With that said, I do have a preferences towards woman, and futas.

Sorry guys, not into you! Especially not into fembois, sissies, or traps. With that stated, didn't think I would have to emphasis this, but I am not into Men. I will play them, but will not ship with them. So to make it clear. I do not do M/M, nor Futa/Male. Trans is questionable, and needs to be discussed with me.

AGAIN!!! I PLAY MALE MUSES, I DO NOT RP WITH THEM!! if you see on my page M/F, it means I am playing male. It does not mean you get to be reply with a male muse and expect me to play what ever muse you think I am playing.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

The Grieving Seasons WIP: character notes

oops rambling again. blame @zeleneagle (jk jk. I was going to have to talk about these fuckers at some point). Keep in mind that the since the seasons correspond with the stages of grief, each character's story is also meant to mirror that stage in some way/shape/form. The player's choices help determine whether or not the characters start to move towards the next step.

Also, names are not definitive. Couldn't find my original notes so I spent half an hour using BehindTheName's generator. Some characters still need more development than others, since 4 of them are new (those being Khnum, Timur, Romulus, and Zoe). In general I had more notes in the old folder for the Autumn + Winter seasons.

Under read-more for length.

(If you are not familiar with The Grieving Seasons, it's an old WIP of mine that I've recently revisited. Originally an entirely text-based CYOA, it's now potentially slated to be a visual novel, although I really, really don't have time to do this. And yet... here I am.)

Autumn/Denial Characters:

Aiman (F, She/Her, Transgender)

In a land where Winters are often short but brutal (if they come at all), Aiman's job as overseer of trade keeps her endlessly busy in the Fall months. She must ensure the stockpiles are filled, her people are prepared with heavy clothes and heated homes, and that they still have enough coins in their coffers to bounce back after the chill rescinds. It's been a particularly long Autumn, however, and she's beginning to wonder if Winter won't come this year. Others have felt the same way, growing careless, and now they've dipped into precious supplies right as signs of Winter's approach finally become clear. Can you help her prepare for the coming cold? Will you be the one to keep her warm?

General vibe/appearance notes: Frazzled, hard-working, caring to a fault with her heart on her sleeve. Glasses. Somewhat slim, lithe features, invokes the feeling of a cat that lives in a library (coincidentally has a pet cat).

Khnum (M, He/Him)

A High Priest for the God of Harvest, Khnum is accustomed to being very, very busy this time of year, ensuring the last of the crops are gathered and giving guidance to his followers. But there is one noticeable difference this year: His God is near-silent. Fear seeps into the corners of his mind as he tries to continue leading his flock without his master's guidance. Soon his attempts at staying calm begin to border on blasphemy, as he fervently denies his God's growing quiet. Can you help him keep his faith without betraying his own ideals? Will you be the answer to his prayers?

General vibe/appearance notes: WARM. SOFT. PRETTIEST MAN YOU'VE EVER SEEN. A smile that makes you feel like things will be okay again, contagious laughter, the deepest brown eyes that connect right to your soul. Earrings look like little sickles.

Winter/Anger Characters:

Katharina (F, She/Her)

Winter is not an easy time for any in this land, but for a Guard Captain such as Katharina, it is harder than any other time. She must stay on constant alert, defending her people from desperate bandits on the prowl. An old anger weighs heavy on her bones as well, the snow stirring memories, putting an edge to every action she takes. Years ago she could not save her son. Never again will she allow another to suffer than kind of loss, even if it means burning all other emotions away as fuel for her efforts. Can you quench her flames long enough to treat her wounds? Will you be the calm to match her storm?

General vibe/appearance notes: Bear. Big, strong, with rounded facial features. Built for surviving harsh Winters. Isn't hiding a soft side so much as she simply doesn't have much softness left. Under the anger and the coldness there is simply a middle-aged woman who is so, so, so fucking tired.

Timur (M, He/Him, Transgender)

As the chill of Winter sets in upon the land, many ongoing conflicts have been halted, involved parties knowing that they cannot stand tall through both the weather and war. But not everyone is keen on keeping to their agreements. Timur, a knight of near legendary renown, is enraged to discover that a neighboring kingdom has gone back on their promises of peace. He is eager to take the fight to them, to strike back against this grave insult. But even a small campaign would be incredibly draining on his people's remaining resources. To make matters worse, he is constantly at odds with his Guard Captain, Katharina. Can you guide his hand back to protecting his charges? Will you remind him what he fights to protect?

General vibes/appearance notes: Wears iron jewelry (his name means Iron). Shelter/livestock guardian dog vibes. Easily attached to his "charges", wants nothing more than to shelter those he cares about. Struggles with punishing himself too hard for his mistakes (and things he views as mistakes).

Spring/Bargaining Characters:

Malai (F, She/They, Non-binary)

Normally, Malai prides themselves on being level-headed, rational. A lover of logic, mathematics, and the usage of both in artistic endeavors. For years, they've worked alongside their brother (Romulus) to create massive floral arrangements to celebrate the transition of Spring to Summer. But this year they've been rocked by their brother's decision to move across the kingdom, and now they're throwing all logic to the wind in favor of trying to convince him to stay. Both their work and their personal life are crumbling as they scramble to accomplish an impossible task. Can you convince them to respect their brother's decision, so that they might enjoy the time they have left? Will your heart bloom in time with their own?

General vibes/appearance notes: Lots of flower motifs. The flowers in her sprites would change colors depending on what emotion the sprite is meant to match (yay symbolism. don't ask how it works). Short hair but elaborate accessories. Tends to mix and match clothing items to blend traditionally masculine/feminine things (i.e. button up + vest paired with a long skirt and work boots). Most colors come from the accessories, not the fabrics.

Romulus (M, He/Him)

Loud, boisterous, and dedicated to his craft, Romulus is the perfect icon for the vibrancy of Spring. Every year he works alongside his older sibling (Malai) to celebrate the coming Summer. But over the years their relationship has begun to strain, with Malai's artistic preferences quietly clashing with his own. Now Romulus wants nothing more than to take a few years off, traveling to other kingdoms, creating art solely for himself. Unfortunately, he didn't account for Malai's resistance. They're both stuck trying to convince the other, all the while losing precious time to finish what might be their last project together. Can you help him stay true to himself and his needs, without burning any bridges? Will you be his spark of inspiration?

General vibe/appearance notes: Long hair, pulled back with fancy pins. Otherwise does not accessorize much, but his clothes tend to have intricate designs/patterns. Little bit of golden retriever energy. Genuinely loves his family, but acknowledges his difficulties with communicating clearly (tends to think in abstracts and metaphors).

Summer/Depression Characters:

Zoe (F, She/Her)

Everyone wants a taste of the royal life. Everyone except the third-in-line to the throne, who couldn't care less about any of this, especially when she's destined to get married off to some fuckass Duke she's never liked (her words, not mine). Zoe admits things could be worse- her parents have given her the option of finding a suitable marriage candidate on her own, and given her free reign to reject their prospects up until a certain point. That point being her 25th birthday, in less than a year. By now she's given up on ever finding true love. Worse, she's starting to give up in general, spending more and more of her time locked away in her personal chambers. Can you prove yourself in the eyes of her parents, or at least convince them to give her more time? Will you save the Princess from her self-imposed imprisonment?

General vibe/appearance notes: Normally very witty, a sharp tongue used to keep people on their toes. Far more clever than most give her credit for (to the point where she'd make a fine ruler). Lately her wit has turned more wicked, trading humor for bouts of cruelty, though her instant regret often shows. Somewhat rounded features.

Consus (M, He/They, Non-binary)

Working the forge is tiring. Working the forge in the Summer heat is fucking exhausting. Consus is the town smith, responsible for everything from fixing wagons and making spades to forging blades and repairing armor for the guards. It is repetitive, it is dull. This is only their job because they were born into the family. Time takes its toll on them as they hope one of their younger siblings will rise to take their place, their work growing shoddy as they sink deeper into a depression. Can you help them find other reasons to keep going, and remind them of why life is worth living? Will you help them forge a new path for themselves?

General vibe/appearance notes: Little on the shorter side, but nice and broad. Quiet, reserved sort of fella, with a very expressive face. Bit shy at first. Somewhat hard of hearing.

The Enigma/Acceptance/THE CYCLE:

??? (They/Them/Not-God/Divinity)

you are being watched. you are being observed. you were a fish in the soul-pond, plucked out for study, a tiny thing in a big motion. can you answer their questions? can you question their answers? will you break the cycle?

General vibes/appearance notes: doesn't enjoy being perceived. loves solving puzzles.

[nataliescatorccio]

Gotta love seeing a gif set at 1:40am about Andrew Garfield talking about death and how we as a society don’t talk about it enough as if I, a 22 year old, am not thinking about death every day and about how I deadass had a panic attack (along with a very unhealthy dose of existential crisis) once while watching RTGame play a fucking Mario game on YouTube because I don’t live in a reality where you just come back after falling into the abyss like how Mario does. If I were to die, I’m permanently dead.

And yeah I got mental health problems… why do you ask? *

* said with humor if that wasn’t clear

honestly i think that stems from the issues with we as a society not discussing it enough though. death, especially in western culture, has become an ominous presence looming over us. a pressure point that it so scary because it's such a taboo subject. i personally feel that if we as a society were more open about death, it would become less daunting and also be a lot easier to deal with as an inevitability. personally, i think for a lot of people it's such a fear because we're expected to accept that it's a thing that happens without actually discussing it in any way, shape, or form. we're also just expected to go on with day-to-day mundanities without any acknowledgement that life should be for living not working, because this is the culture a lot of countries have curated in order to exploit the working classes.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

(internet safety talk anon again) hmm, yeah, i totally see your point. i think there's a lot of complicating factors to the current tumblr discussion. i come from an internet background where it's generally considered you'd never treat your personal blog like a street corner--more like your personal living room. a public feed like posting in a popular tag would be closer to a street corner. i think a lot of people from that background are really protective of that attitude, in the face of perceived encroachment of "anything you say or do online is for mass public consumption and you should treat it like you're speaking on a Public Platform." personally, i'm instinctively protective of it because acting like i was posting for anyone other than my personal friends led me to develop a follower base, which was horrifically traumatic as an experience (although i also wouldnt come onto someone elses post to shout about my decisions there, tbc, and i don't respect the decision making of anyone who does). this isn't to say any other attitude about the function of ones internet space is fundamentally unhealthy or incorrect, to be clear! this one may even be unhealthy, i am not attempting to defend it by virtue of spelling it out.

the other factor is the unfortunate reality of the current popular communist clique and how they're setting the social tone for this on my dashboard, at least... the discussion has devolved into lots of intentional moral OCD triggers in its most visible form, and a lot of the social dynamics evolving from it are genuinely scary to look at from the outside. unfortunately, i think this is also unsolvable, as any impetus for collective action on such a scale will tend to give rise to popular thought leaders whose behaviors are shaped by the extreme trauma of the movement. and frankly, i do not think "the most popular communist bloggers have all decided to encourage compulsive thought patterns and behaviors about this topic, which sometimes manifest in group controlling behavuors" is a justification for being suspicious or wary of the topic of fundraisers overall. however, it is an unavoidable material factor in why the conversation is going as badly as it is, and I guess the only real point there is it'd be nice if the most visible people rightfully defending fundraising practices were doing so as ethically as you.

I hear you, and I understand where you're coming feom when you say this. Please hear what I say next as coming from someone who apparently shares a fair amount of context with you.

1) on a site like tumblr, where reblogs and feeds absolutely DO serve as an open to the public commons, one can absolutely treat one's own BLOG as a private and contained space. But one's feed is still a shared common space you have agreed to be. If you do not like what someone is doing in that shared space, you can remove yalls interaction by removing them from your feed, but you cannot make your discomfort THEIR responsibility simply because it showed up on your feed.

Moral OCD trigger warnings were nice when they were news to everybody. As someone with OCD, including morality related obsessions and compulsions, let me be frank.

They have become dogmatic in a way that exacerbatory to, not relieving of, those symptoms. They have become a cudgel that people with moral OCD now fear when they interact in shared spaces. Because that is what the fuck moral OCD does.

It is absolutely within all of our rights as obsessives to ask our loved ones to help us counter and reduce triggers, but it can never be our right to order a stranger to comply with it on the off chance we're exposed to their words. That is not how one counters or reduces moral OCD triggers.

2) "the popular communist bloggers have all decided to encourage compulsive thought patterns and behaviors" is simply not an acceptable accusation to levy. It is a dismissal of the reasons and motivations people might have for doing and saying what they do, or for making the asks they make, and ignores the very real truth that sometimes two people both need things at the same time that cannot be met wholly within a shared space. It is, frankly, belittling.

Maybe it's the Jew in me, maybe it's the dyke in me, maybe it's the genocide ethnographer in me, but "a vaguely defined cabal of people from a geoup I feel disdain for have intentionally conspired to harm me" will always make me more suspicious of the genocidal intent or actions of the person SAYING it than of the person it's being said about.

If we want to have a conversation about how to make the activism space more friendly to people with moral OCD, we are going to need to have a FAR more comprehensive and dynamic conversation about what that will look like than you have proposed here.

3) you are positioning me as "one of the good ones" in a community I have no part in, and I will not tolerate you wielding my words as a weapon against the people I am literally TELLING YOU are being treated with an international genocidally intended neglect that INCLUDES people stirring up batshit unethical demands that I have NEVER seen anyone in the progressive political sphere say before the past several years and then pointing to the justified anger and backlash as further proof of why they had the right to do so.

Do not expect me to validate such rhetoric on my fucking blog.

[mgkxximagines]

You threw back your second sex on the beach, throat burning with pleasure as you chugged it in one go. The glass clattered on the bar, a soft growl escaping your throat. Rage coursed through you, but you knew better than to drink anymore. If you did, you’d likely end up doing something you might regret. Like slash your ex’s tires. Or maybe murder his brother. Who the fuck knew? You were a vengeful drunk. Especially when your boyfriend of four years cheats on you in your own bed.

You checked the time on your phone. It was only 11:00. You snarled and locked your phone a little more aggressively than you probably needed to, but you were pissed.

And righteously so! He had the fucking balls to cheat on you with that whore coworker of yours! Ugh, you knew the one— who always wore tiny skirts, open blouses, and was sleeping her way to the top of the company.

It didn’t matter that she didn’t do shit. Nah, it wasn’t your work she piggybacked off of— oh, wait! It was! Fucking bitch.

You didn’t realize you’d started muttering to yourself until the bartender gingerly slid you a basket of fries. Yeah, you should probably eat something. The alcohol was getting to your brain way too fucking quickly for your liking.

Your attention caught on a tall, muscular shape throwing darts at the wall. He seemed familiar but you couldn’t tell where you knew him from. Whatever. You were in Los Angeles, famous people were a dime of dozen here.

You turned back to your French fries, seething with silent rage.

It wasn’t until you’d finished about half the fries when you noticed the man watching you from the corner of your eye. You swiveled to observe him properly, your eyes threatening to water. Your gaze caught on a very, very attractive man— possibly in his mid—twenties, maybe thirties at the absolute least. Your gaze traveled over his face slowly, as though you were memorizing his features. His eyes were light and intelligent, and his mouth was quirked up slightly in a half-smile. A 5’o’clock shadow dusted his chin, but it did nothing to dampen the stunning beauty and elegance of his face. He wore a red flannel with a leather jacket over it, and you could catch the slight scent of shoe polish mixed with something sweet—- honeysuckle?

You were pulled form your open observation of him when he cleared his throat to speak.

“You okay, there, honey?

You blinked. Did MGK just call you honey?

He waited expectantly for you to answer, leaning closer as he did.

“Umm—not really, but I don’t think that’s any of your business, Colson.” You crunched a fry without breaking eye contact. “What is a big shot like you doing in a dive like this?”

He looked slightly taken aback, but he recovered quickly.

“Hmm—I guess I like to get away from it all sometimes. Life is pretty exhausting nowadays.” He sighed, seeming to forget who he was talking to for a second. “I kinda wish I could disappear for a while, but too many people know who I am.”

You rolled your eyes despite yourself.

“Oh, please. Do you know how many people would kill to be you for a day?” You snickered and added to yourself, “or to do you for a day...”

His interest in you was once again piqued. Colson eyed you curiously, with a knowing smirk.

“Can I count you among all of those thirsty fan girls, honey?”

Your posture shot upright as you frantically glared at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you, me, and lovers peak.” He purred. Colson was somehow much closer than you remembered him being mere moments before, his knee brushing your thigh softly from where he perched his barstool.

Okay. Your heart rate was going way too fast for you to be comfortable in that moment. You tried to laugh it off, though it came out as a nervous warble more than anything else.

“What, is this some kind of joke? You’re Colson Baker, the sex icon of my entire generation. And I’m a nobody.”

You tried to keep the hurt out of your voice, but it pierced through beneath your words like a shiv.

Colson’s face fell. He wasn’t smirking anymore. He felt the pain in your words as your eyes threatened to spill over with sadness. Wordlessly, he pulled you into his chest as you began silently sobbing. It hurt more than you wanted to admit. Your ex was a lying sack of shit and you didn’t know how to cope with that information. You’d lived with the guy for three years, dated him for four— he had, arguably, been your first requited love. Apparently, though, that statement didn’t ring true anymore.

It was with this revelation that you utterly broke down, letting yourself be held for the first time in who knew how long. Colson hushed you softly, humming in his sweet baritone a song that was only for you.

When your tears began to dry, you recognized just how close you were crushed to his chest. His very toned chest. The chest whose heartbeat was increasing, possibly from the same revelation; your breasts were in fact pressed into his abdomen, your arms wrapped around his waist. You coughed and began to right yourself, pulling back with flushed cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you. My boyfriend of four years cheated on me, so I’m not quite myself.”

His spine stiffened and his lips pressed into a thin line. Interesting. Colson glared at a spot on the bar as though it was to blame.

“I’m so sorry.” His hand absently stroked the back of yours, warming it with his own. “For the record, if he was stupid enough to do that, he didn’t deserve you anyway.”

You rolled your eyes. You wanted to laugh.

“Colson, you don’t even know me!” You snickered. “Goddamn, I’ve gotta be in some sort of stupid anime subplot. Don’t you have a concert to play or a girl to woo?”

His face fell only for a second before a thought made his eyes flicker with mischief.

“What if I do?” He raises his eyebrows. “Maybe you’re the girl to woo.”

Your laughter died in your throat and you swallowed hard.

He wasn’t joking.

His eyes were hungry and his hand gently squeezed your own.

He really wasn’t playing around.

“Wh...why?”

He grinned, flashing his pristinely white teeth in the dim light of the bar.

“I dunno. It might further the plot.” He winked at you impishly.

Fuck. Okay, you were hella in trouble.

You ground your thighs together in a sudden desperation, your eyelids fluttering as his hands held your own and began to trace themselves over your wrists in feather-light movements. It really shouldn’t have done anything at all, but the feeling of his calluses fingers on the sensitive skin of your inner forearm was definitely feeling like it should be obscene.

“You gonna take me up on my offer?” Colson purred.

Well.... fuck. How could you say no?

“I mean...” you forced your voice to be even-keeled. “It’s still pretty early. Maybe I will.”

He let out of soft laugh before sweeping you into the bathroom before you could blink. His lips were on your neck, gracing sinful trails of bliss across your nerves and dancing with your flesh. At your quizzical glance, he only chuckled deeply.

“I couldn’t wait that long, honey”

Any protest you might’ve had was drowned out by the moan that escaped your lips when his mouth pressed to your throat. Colson made quick work of your clothes and began worshipping your curves. His hands cupped your breasts reverently, lips ghosting over your skin and sending goosebumps flying over you. He sucked on your nipple and you had to bite your tongue to keep yourself from outright screaming.

He licked your breast once before popping back up to give you an evil smile.

“You don’t have to hold back. I don’t care who hears us. There’s no paparazzi here..” Even as he spoke, he trailed his mouth over your skin. Leaving his breath rushing across the skin beneath your ear, his hands sliding into your hair.

With an irritated mewl, you pushed him away for a second.

“No fair.” He chided.

“Uh-Uh. You. Naked. Now.”

Realization dawned on him as he quickly reassumed his sly expression.

“Mm. Whatever you say, honey.”

His clothing hit the floor and you were on him, your hands roving over the hard, chiseled planes of his body with reckless abandon. He smirked down at your tenacity, your enthusiasm as you kissed his body with a devotion that equaled his.

“Enjoying yourself, huh?”

You snorted and bit his collarbone.

“Please. This has been my fantasy since I was a teenager. Don’t at me.”

With an aggressive little groan, you nibbled at his earlobe, earning a sharp breath from him. He laughed softly at your sudden vigor.

“Mm. Be mean to me, honey.”

Now it was your turn to snicker.

“Goddamn it, Kells...”

He looked at you innocently.

“I didn’t do anything. Not one little thing.”

His fingers slipped between your legs, completely invalidating his statement. You keened under his touch, his lips capturing yours and warring for dominance.

You groaned. God, it had been so long since someone had touched you like this.

“Fuck me, Kells.” You pleaded. “For the love of God, fuck me black and blue.”

“Ugh, fuck yes.” He breathed

With a sudden burst of energy he lifted your leg and began running his length across your slit, feeling the wetness af the apex of your thighs.

“Damn, honey, how long has it been since someone’s loved you like this? You’re so fucking wet..”

His rhetorical question didn’t earn the biting sarcasm he’d expected, so Colson made the executive decision to ensure that this would be a night you’d never forget.

He sucked on your breasts one more time before cupping the backs of your legs and lifting you onto him with a grunt. With your breath sufficiently knocked out of your lungs, you managed an approving whimper before he began to move. Colson’s hips rocked back and forth with a practiced ease, his rhythm steady and heart-poundingly delicious.

His hand dropped to where you were joined and he began playing with your clit in sync with his thrusts, a decision that made you bite his shoulder to keep from screaming outright.

Goddamn, this boy knew how to move.

You tightened your thighs around his waist, locking him inside you as you felt your heart beat as one, suspended in the moment, ecstatic in the feeling of one another.

Not one to rest for long, Colson snickered and unlocked your legs with a quick buck of his hips. Fingertips dug into your waist as he gripped you roughly, rutting into you like his life depended on it. Your throat ached as you let out a guttural groan, your first orgasm leaving your legs quaking. Sensing your release, Colson slowed his pace as he worked you through it, his lips soft as his tongue danced with yours.

“Fuck.” You muttered.

He let out of breathy laugh.

“My sentiments exactly.” He pressed feathery kisses to your neck and face, letting his guard down for the first time in months. “I wouldn’t mind if this became a regular thing... we fit together so well.

Your face flushed and you met his eyes, curious.

“Wait, really?”

Colson nodded, biting his lip as he did so.

“I like you a lot—- not just because of the sex, but you’re also just... I don’t know. I’m drawn to you.”

You held back a snort, totally ruining his cute little moment of sincerity.

“Yep, this is straight up some anime shit.”

He glared at you, but his smile betrayed him.

He pulled you close, his chest pressing to yours, as he simply breathed with you in the near-total darkness.

“So you’re coming back to my place, right?”

His smirk made your heart jump with the possibilities that it held.

“Absofuckinglutely.”