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ivpapaemeritusiv · 6 months ago

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Chapter 11: Kiss The Go Goat

Summary: The clergy feels it is time to address the fact that Addeline and Papa Emeritus are running out of time to provide them with a male heir. For the Cardinal, it falls upon deaf ears, but Addeline takes it personally.

Word Count: 2,200

This is a funny and lighthearted chapter with the majority of the scene unfolding between Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator. It is a bit crude, but we do get to see some of the love shared between Papa Zero and his ex-girlfriend. Nihil also drops a bomb on Sister. Much to her surprise, she hasn't been hiding things as well as she thought. (Oral m receiving, swallowing).

The familiar faces of Sister, Papa Nihil and Psaltarian sat at the helm of the chapel along with some others Addy had not yet become acquainted with. She had seen them around, but she knew they weren’t the ones pulling all the strings. She and Papa sat in a pew in front of them.

Addeline felt as though she were on a scaffold, blindfolded and kneeling before an executioner who was eager to chop her head off. Sister, as usual, beamed at the Cardinal. Addy could see it. She couldn’t understand why her beloved didn’t see the favoritism that the woman held for him.

“Let’s get started,” Sister said.

The clergy became silent waiting for Sister Imperator to commence the meeting.

“Cardi, dear boy, your little Elizabeth is so precious. Congratulations,” she said.

Addy rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Papa paused, “Well, thank you. She is special, just like her mother.”

This made Addy smile.

“Yes, well although we adore her so very much, we need to remind you of certain duties that remained unfulfilled—”

“—Elizabeth isn’t a boy,” Nihil coldly stated, “Sister needs you to have a boy. Girls are useless to her. I on the other hand,” he continued, “I love the little tike. It means we can get rid of you.”

Sister cleared her throat, signaling for the old man to put a cork in it, “What he is trying to say is it would be nice if the two of you began trying again. We need you to produce an heir as quickly as possible.”

Addeline couldn’t believe they were discussing the fate of her reproductive system. Not only that, but they were also talking about her daughter as though they wanted to send her in a basket down the river.

“Do you think I get to choose?” she asked, unable to be silent any longer, “Do you think I get to choose what I become pregnant with?”

“I didn’t say that, Addeline,” Sister assured her.

Nihil chimed in again with unwarranted advice, “Just do better next time, ok? It is really not that hard to have a boy. I had 3?”

Papa, growing irritated with Nihil’s venomous remarks finally spoke up, “Hey, man. That’s not cool, alright? And where are these three sons? I see them nowhere.”

This shut the man up quickly. He knew that he and Sister had them executed so that the Cardinal could take over, but he did not want to mention it in a room full of peers.

Psaltarian was laughing at the spectacle. He knew every time Nihil and Papa Emeritus were seated in a room together, things turned into a comedy show.

“Something funny, Mr. Psaltarian?” Addeline asked, tired of being put on display for the amusement of the ministry.

Nihil blurted out, interrupting crudely once again, “Perhaps all his swimmers are females.”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Sister banged on the wooden stage in front of her. She addressed Addy formally, “You’re to present this clergy with another child, preferably a boy, by the end of the year.”

“End of the year?” Addeline screamed, “Elizabeth is only a month old! I’d have to get pregnant this month to have a shot in hell of fulfilling that request! How am I going to get pregnant that soon?”

“You know how babies are made, young lady. I suggest you do that, or we can find someone who can.”

With those words, the woman adjourned the meeting. Addy stomped out of the room in a fit of rage. The Cardinal saluted the Clergy and bowed his head towards Sister. When rising, he made the comment, “You know, you should be a little nicer to her. Now she’s going to yell at me.”

He walked out of the room to join his bride. Still wearing the same sarcastic grin that he wore for the Clergy, he walked up to her in a disapproving manner and waited for her to speak.

“I’m sorry, Papa but I can’t stand them,” She shouted, “They treat me like I’m fucking Anne Boleyn.”

“Cara Mia,” he tried taking the woman into his arms but she quickly pulled away.

“—They never would have allowed us to get married if they knew I was having a girl,” she was pacing in circles now, “And they HATE Elizabeth!”

“They don’t hate Elizabeth, Amore.”

“They hate her, Cardinal!” she huffed.

Copia took a firm step forward and in a very authoritative tone he reminded her of who she was speaking to, “I. Am. Papa. You are allowed to be angry my dear, but do not disrespect me.”

The commanding way in which he spoke intimidated her and she calmed her tone.

“I apologize, Papa, I forgot myself. But they look at her like she’s some big disappointment.”

The Cardinal took Addy in his arms and pacified her, “Hush now. Elizabeth will enjoy all the privileges of being an Emeritus child. She will receive all the bells and whistles that come along with it. The only thing she cannot do is take my place.”

“Or help you keep yours,” the woman reminded him.

Copia nodded, “That’s true, but do not worry about that. Do not worry about what they say or think, my love. We will try again. We are good at trying for children, no?” he asked.

She blushed.

“We could go try right now?”

Addy laughed as the cardinal swooped her up and kissed her passionately.

“Papa, not in the hallway,” she struggled to say through a kiss.

Their laughter and playful banter could be heard inside the chapel where the clergy remained seated still. Sister raised an eyebrow, hearing the carnal noises outside the door, “I’m not worried. Cardi will have that girl pregnant again in no time,” she chuckled.

Nihil looked at Sister, “I can’t believe I never knocked you up,” he began, “As many times as we—”

“Stop!” she interrupted him.

Sister was quite aroused by the man's vulgarness and opted to throw everyone out of the room so she could continue the conversation with him in private, “I need a moment with the old one,” she said calmly, dismissing everyone from the meeting.

When everyone was gone, Sister looked at Papa with seductive eyes, “Papa?” she began to ask, “Do you remember when I used to go down on you?”

The old phantom chuckled, “Ah yes, just like holy Mary.”

“Yes, like that,” Sister repeated as she came closer and closer to his ghostly figure. She fell to her knees in front of him, staring at his groin area. It sent her back to a moment in time where she was able to grab his hips without having her hands go through him.

Nihil's gaze lingered on Sister, his eyes tracing every curve of her face as if searching for a lost memory. In that moment, a subtle shift occurred, and before him knelt the young woman he had once known - radiant and ethereal. Her eyes, pools of endless depth, reflected the light like precious gems, while her long, flowing blonde hair danced in an invisible breeze. The air around them seemed to hold its breath, caught in the spell of this enchanting transformation. Beauty and nostalgia intertwined, painting a picture of a time long past yet vividly alive in that fleeting instant.

They looked at each other for several more moments before Papa Zero finally said, “I need you now, my love. I need you to take care of me, please.”

He had puppy dog eyes. He was burning for release. Sister could feel that he was as hard as a rock, “You didn’t finish?” she asked.

“No, my sweet, you came much too quickly for me.”

“I’m so sorry, Papa” she apologized with her big doe eyes and in her sweet submissive voice instructed, “Tell me how to please you now.”

Sister was not the submissive type and it drove young Nihil wild when she opted to be subservient to him.

“You may please me on your knees, Seestor.”

The young woman could see his legs trembling a bit and so she grabbed his hips to steady him. She pulled his body close to her lips. His cock looked so big inches from her face.

Now, excited, the man positioned himself in front of her mouth ready to be taken.

“May I?” he asked.

She slowly nodded, parting her lips so she could receive him. He watched as his girth stretched her mouth, reveling at the sight of it growing wider the further he pushed in. Sister used her tongue to dart around his length as he hit the back of her throat. She gagged a little as she tried to take him all the way in. He looked at her and smiled, “It’s okay Seestor, I don’t expect you to take all of it.”

This gained a chuckle from Sister. She knew he wasn’t as big as he thought but she liked to let him think so. He grabbed his remaining length and jerked off into her mouth as she sucked unforgivingly on what she could manage. She moaned indecipherable words onto him.

Papa Nihil let his load spew out into his girlfriend’s unsuspecting mouth. Her little coughs were so cute to him. He knew the woman preferred not to swallow but occasionally, he’d surprise her.

“Don’t spit that out,” he commanded.

Her forlorn eyes and sour face made him chuckle, “Swallow it.”

Sister gulped, gagging as she struggled to swallow his cum. He grabbed her by the back of the head and firmly placed his hand over her mouth to ensure she did not spit him out.

“Now,” he said, “Open wide and let me see.”

She looked up at him, still on her knees, and showcased her pretty mouth. She lifted her tongue and swallowed once more to prove to him she had indeed ingested his seed.

“That’s my evil girl,” he patted her on the head, “You may get up Seestor.”

The sudden creak of the door swinging open shattered the enchanting reverie that Nihil and Sister found themselves lost in. The intrusion of reality brought them back from the realms of nostalgia to the present moment and Nihil realized his blow job was only a figment of his imagination.

A look of disdain clouded Copia's face. He had no idea why Sister was kneeling on the floor before Nihil. He chuckled awkwardly, "Oh... uh... hehe. You're kneeling before Nihil," he joked, quite traumatized by what he was witnessing but trying to make light of it with humor.

Sister, jumped up abruptly and composed herself, "Cardi, it's not what it looks like."

Copia nodded, "I know... it doesn't look like anything... I didn't say anything."

"Oh, C, dear boy did you want something?"

"Noooo... I'm... I was just going to go," he pointed at the door he had yet to come through. He almost tripped as he exited, his shoes barely able to lift off the floor. His legs felt heavy, and he stumbled forward, catching himself just in time before disappearing through the door.

Nihil shook his head, "That boy is soft. He's an old man and the thought of his mother giving a blow job sends him running."

“Well, I wasn’t actually giving you a blow job,” sister scoffed, “We might have been making some crude noises while reliving a moment in time but—” she paused, “Did you say mother?”

“Well, yes, you’re the boy’s mother aren’t you.”

Sister was taken aback by the observation. Nihil was a dense old fool and never noticed important details.

"You... you knew all this time?"

"It's pretty obvious with the way you treat that imbecile."

"And you've never questioned who fathered Cardi?"

Nihil, with a heavy heart, admitted, "I couldn't bear to ask, Seestor. The mere thought of another man with you shattered me."

"Oh, you old bastard," she said, "You're the boy's father for crying out loud."

Nihil, in a moment of realization, contemplated the rumors and the child's unmistakable resemblance, "The Cardinal is my son?" he uttered, the weight of the revelation sinking in. He pondered this thought a bit. It made perfect sense. There was a rumor that Sister left the clergy to give birth and when she returned with a child it was obvious to him that the rumors had been true.

The child in question had the same eyes as he did, one blue, one brown though he never put the two together. Sister waited for a sweet gesture from the man; however, his reaction was not what she expected.

“How can that idiot be related to me? He's not handsome, he has no talent. At least the blood line remains pure, but he'll never achieve our purpose. He can't even win a grammy."

“My God,” Sister scoffed, “How you forget your own shortcomings so quickly!” she continued, “Don’t tell him about this. He’s too sensitive at the moment to understand why I kept this from him. He can’t handle it right now and we need him to focus on his duties.”

“Sensitive is an understatement. He can’t even handle it when his cereal becomes too soggy,” Nihil responded.

“I mean it, Papa! I will call the ghostbusters and have them suck you into a little vacuum that I’ll keep on my desk for decoration. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Seestor,” he said, “I will not tell the boy.”

With a determined stride, Sister turned on her heel, making her way to the door. Her mind already racing ahead to the future plans for the band, eager to dive into the next chapter despite the tumultuous moment with Nihil.

#cardinal copia #ghost #papa emeritus #papa emeritus copia #papa emeritus smut #papa emeritus iv #copia x oc #papa emeritus fanfiction #papa emeritus x oc #smut #ghost fanfiction #ghost bc #ghost x oc #ghost the band #papa emeritus 4

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calmcoldevening · 1 year ago

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Slashers and music

TW: no

Characters: Michael Myers (RZ), Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Hannibal Lecter

Ps: it is a small emagine, I just wanted to write something like this

Michael Myers

• This boy was very passionate about the Kiss band in his youth, so I wouldn't be surprised if such preferences still remained in the subcortex of his consciousness.

• An immortal classic, almost like Queen, so I can quite call it quite modern. Although later performers like Instasamka (it's russian singer, okay?) or Cardi B may very well confuse him.

• And are teenagers listening to this strange set of words now?

• Well, maybe he'll try to sort it out a little, or rather, he won't mind if you include some similar songs from your playlist, but he's clearly still stuck in his teenage phase.

• He will be very happy if there is a little rock on your list.

• In principle, he is not particularly picky. At least this strange music makes him think and briefly dulls the voices in his head. Michael can dutifully listen to this music, but if he really does not like the song, you will hear a dissatisfied chuckle or feel a pair of blue eyes on you, from one look of which the blood is covered with a dense crust of ice in your veins.

Jason Voorhees

• This cutie will definitely appreciate your musical taste in any of its manifestations.

• But still, it will be better if your music has a calmer character.

• I think he would like some melodies without words, calm and relaxing. Performers like In Love With a Ghost and Adrian Von Ziegler are quite suitable.

• Jason himself is quite reserved and calm, so with quiet music he will be much calmer. Rude songs can scare him or make him feel uncomfortable.

• But this boy is not against learning about modern art, if you really like it. Give him a little time and your player with headphones and in a good half hour he will tell you his opinion.

• This song is good for clearing the area from intruders, and this one is for your walks! The latter is more suitable for a rainy evening... And this one is okay, can I listen to it again?

• You can play random music from your collection to him, and Jason will show you cards with approval or dissatisfaction. In the end, both of you are still waiting for a long loving hug.

Thomas Hewitt

• Tommy is clearly not one of the timid ones.

• Although he may well call some performers stupid or rude.

• Thomas would appreciate Sabaton. I think he would even like that very playlist on military topics.

• This is a man who works a lot and hard, so suitable active music will benefit him, a working mood and all that.

• The victim falls on Hewitt's table, screams and wriggles. There is blood, guts, rotting pieces of flesh and mold accumulated in the corners of the basement, moistening the air. A good foot of water on the floor. And here he is, a monster, a cannibal, a maniac. He stands in front of an iron table, clutching a butcher knife in his hand. And in the headphones, covered with a mop of dirty black hair, an Three Days Grace is playing. Do you feel all this oppressive atmosphere?

Vincent Sinclair

• Set It Off explicitly for him.

• This man is a true connoisseur of art, so he will not mind understanding the modern meaning of the word.

• Your taste is very important to him in everything, from clothes to the decoration of your shared bedroom and meals. Do you particularly like this music? Honey, let Vincent paint this on canvas.

• He would really portray what he represents during the audition.

• Well, sometimes too loud modern music would cause him headaches, but Vincent is willing to be patient. Not to say that he is so old for such music. After all, he definitely listened to it on the victims' phones. Still, listening to what you suggested is much better.

• But no modern music can compare with your singing. Vincent is ready to listen to this for ages.

Hannibal Lecter

• This man is in love with classical music, so it is unlikely that he will really like something from the modern repertoire. Hannibal is a very deep person and evaluates with great attention what he eats or listens to. After all, music directly affects our mood.

• His music collection is quite wide, you can play any of the records he likes. Although no TV or gramophone will replace the sound of a live game. Still, you can use it anytime, honey.

• Hannibal would be happy to cultivate in you the same sense of the subtle and beautiful, although he will not interfere with your musical taste. From time to time, he may even listen to something from your favorites.

• As I said, Hannibal is very careful about everything that gets into his body, including music, so whenever you get into his house, a distinct sound of Rigutto Bruno or Claude Debussy comes from the living room. Just a fabulous atmosphere.

#slashers #michael myers rz #michael myers #vincent sinclair #thomas hewitt #jason voorhees #hannibal lecter

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lunesprite · 1 year ago

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GiTM Characters - as Tom Cardy Songs

A Good Enough Tm List.

Hello and welcome to a very silly list I decided to make this morning. It is now a full 12 hours later and my vision must be shared.

Tom Cardy is fantastic, and even without this silly list, I do think y'all should check him out! But keep in mind, a lot of these songs are suggestive/NSFW for various reasons, so maybe put in some headphones first.

Also, I make these silly suggestions, every single one of them, out of immense love for these characters, so if one seems mean… I am ragging on them. I am pulling on their rays in the playground or whatever.

I love each and every one of them, scouts honor. And with that out of the way….

Wonderful @/venomous-qwille's Ghost in the Machine Cast - specifically as Tom Cardy songs only.

Part 1: I Will Not Be Taking Feedback I Am Correct:

Clip.exe: Red Flags

youtube

I love Clip.exe so so much it is unreal. He's a freak /endlessly affectionate. If i am feeling particularly silly with him, then i can offer a second for young, baby Clip: Monster Truck. Either way, I am kissing him.

Sanii: Hot Shit

youtube

He is. I would pay an inconceivable amount of money to see this. I want to see him performing this in a silly glittering red jacket to try and cheer Misuta up.

Nova: The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy

youtube

This beautiful, perfect man. Important context: Fool is singing it, narrating our wonderful tale, and Nova is performing his ass off and having a blast. He is wearing a cowboy hat and yes, one of his rays is sticking through it. I love Nova. I am kissing him right on his face.

Noon: Artificial Intelligence

youtube

He would sing this song and you wouldn't even need to ask him to.

y/n: Repress it!

Look at that, we get a song too. :) Almost forgot to, tbh.

Part 2: I Got My Reasons:

Soleil: Read Between the Lines

youtube

Can I picture him singing it? No. I will not pretend. There are certain lines, however, I absolutely can. He very nearly falls into the 'Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out' category, but I just. I needed to manifest this.

Fool: Perception Check

youtube

You know, I don't think I need to explain this one.

Sunspot: My Secret Shame

youtube

Oh darling Spot, it might very well be there's another song that fits you better, but imagining this one, which is so sweet and harmless but absolutely on point for something that WOULD be his shame, made me almost break down laughing at work.

Misuta: All the Stupid Things I've Ever Done

youtube

Sandman: Level Clear!

youtube

Sandy is kind of riding the line between this category and the next, but like. I give him this one because I cannot wait to see what this little man has going on, and I really wonder what his life has been like! I just know there's trauma under that hat.

Harvest: About 8 hours

youtube

There was another song here but this was a late suggestion that I realized was simply. Too correct.

Part 3: I Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out and By This Point I Was Invested And Too Proud to Back Down (I Will Take Cardy Suggestions Here):

This section is particularly silly.

Ruin: Love Language

The angle. I confess: I forGOT them. I am a fake fan. But I come with a secondary song for Ruin.

Call your Mother (just links now because there is a 10 video limit woopsie): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV5HKWRMyAY

Profanity aside - and the funniness of imagining Influencer Ruin - I think this is about as accurate as this section gets.

Part 4: JK i backed down instantly

Sunflower & Sombra

I had to admit defeat with these two. I don't think there is one by Tom Cardy that fits Sunflower, but I know so little about her I... As for Sombra, I did have a joke one but later (right now) accepted I also know very little about him. I toss in my hat on these two, I have done my best. 😔

I also debated an extra song for Nova - and a particularly silly one for Sol - but I thought I should cut myself off before I lost myself completely in the sauce. I suppose it works out, since I ran out of video embeds (oops).

Thank you for attending this uh. Post? Yes.

#gitm au #what on EARTH do i tag this as #crowstalks #crow links a ton of very silly songs #ghost in the machine #god do i tag everyone? ... no #Youtube

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boricuacherry-blog · 8 months ago

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Question for the culture:

Now that Doja Cat, Ariana, Camila, Cardi B, Kehlani and Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé have bad number ones with songs about being hot, wearing no clothes, fucking, cheating etc - can I please go back to singing about being embodied, feeling beautiful by being in love even if the relationship is not perfect, or dancing for money - or whatever I want - without being crucified or saying that I'm glamorizing abuse????

I'm fed up with female writers and alt singers saying that I glamorize abuse when in reality I'm just a glamorous person singing about the realities of what we are all now seeing are very prevalent emotionally abusive relationships all over the world. With all of the topics women are finally allowed to explore I just want to say over the last ten years I think it's pathetic that my minor lyrical exploration detailing the sometimes submissive or passive role in my relationships has often made people say I've set women back hundreds of years.

Let this be clear, I'm not not a feminist - but there has to be a place in feminism for women who look and act like me - the kind of woman who says no but men hear yes - the kind of women who are slated mercilessly for being their authentic, delicate selves, the kind of women who get their own stories and voices taken away from them by stronger women or by men who hate women.

I've been honest and optimistic about the challenging relationships I've had. News flash! That's just how it is for many women.

And that was sadly my experience up until the point that those records were made. So I just want to say it's been a long 10 years of bullshit reviews up until recently and I've learned a lot from them.

But I also feel it really paved the way for other women to stop 'putting on a happy face' and to just be able to say whatever the hell they wanted to in their music-

Unlike my experience where if I even expressed a note of sadness in my first two records I was deemed literally hysterical as though it was literally the 1920s.

Anyways none of this has anything to do about much but

I'll be detailing some of my feelings in my next two books of poetry (mostly the second one) with Simon and Schuster. Yes I'm still making personal reparations with the proceeds of the books to my choice of Native American foundations which I'm very happy about. And I'm sure there will be tinges of what I've been pondering in my new album that comes out September 5th.

Thanks for reading

Happy quarantining

#lana del rey #letter #doja cat #ariana grande #camila cabello #cardi b #kehlani #nicki minaj #beyonce #2020 #💯

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swordarmsaxelegs · 1 year ago

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Hi :) I was tagged by @macleod to be a part of this chain. Here's my top 5 songs on repeat (in no particular order)

Shinedown - What a Shame

youtube

Shinedown is one of my favourite bands of all time and this song is from my favourite album that they released. It was hard to narrow it down to just one song of theirs to include in this list, so I thought about a recent playlist I've been listening to and decided that this the one I have been most likely to loop out of all of them.

Shinedown is pretty mainstream among metal/alt-rock fans, but if you're not familiar with them or even if you're not usually a fan of those genres then I recommend checking them out. Some of their songs on this album kind of border country territory. I have also listened to some of their more recent post-grunge stuff and think it's a bit pop-y, so I'm sure there's something everyone would enjoy.

Vansire - Metamodernity

youtube

I don't have much to say about this one. A girl I had a crush on once used this song as background noise in her Instagram story. I'm not sure anymore if I like this song because of her or if I like her because of this song. All I can say is that there was a couple of months where I would only listen to this.

Tom Cardy - Level Clear!

youtube

I haven't been able to get enough of this song since Mr. Cardy posted it four months ago and it is embarrassing. If you're not familiar with his work, Tom makes silly musical videos for Tik Tok and YouTube. I love his videos, he's very creative and entertaining, but this song has no right to go this hard.

Allie X - Old Habits Die Hard

youtube

I could probably list Allie X as a top 5 artist on repeat. She was my introduction to the synth pop genre and I think her music is consistently great. I picked this song specifically because it's a lot of fun and one that I'm always excited to hear when it comes on shuffle. As for an album I would recommend, most of her songs that I listen to come from Collxtion, No 1. This song in particular appears on two albums, but I haven't personally listened to the newer version of the song. I'm sure it's great, though.

System of a Down - Aerials

youtube

I am very sorry to include this one in the list, but it would be wrong of me not to. One time I was listening to this song so much that it started to become a problem for me. I would try to sleep and this song would be on loop in my brain. I tried learning all of the lyrics so I could sing it to myself because I read that songs get stuck in your head because your brain likes to see things through to the end, but then that just made it worse. I didn't even play this video before sharing it here because I'm scared that if I do it will happen again. This is absolutely one of my all time favourite songs and also I would like to start a conspiracy that System of a Down songs are so weird because they're trying to lock us into a trance.

As a bonus, I was thinking of including Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box because there was a period where I would listen to that song a lot, but I figured everybody on Tumblr can probably say the same thing and I had to limit this to only five songs.

I haven't been very talkative on here since I came back a few years ago, so I don't have anybody to tag in this. If you see this post and think it would be fun to participate then feel free to share your own top 5 and tag me in it :) Maybe it could turn out to be a way to make some new friends on here :D

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antonita11 · 9 months ago

Text

Question for the culture:

Now that Doja Cat, Ariana, Camila, Cardi B, Kehlani and Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé have had number ones with songs about being sexy, wearing no clothes, fucking, cheating etc - can I please go back to singing about being embodied, feeling beautiful by being in love even if the relationship is not perfect, or dancing for money - or whatever I want - without being crucified or saying that I'm glamorizing abuse??????

With all of the topics women are finally allowed to explore I just want to say over the last ten years I think it's pathetic that my minor lyrical exploration detailing my sometimes submissive or passive roles in my relationships has often made people say I've set women back hundreds of years.

Let this be clear, I'm not not a feminist - but there has to be a place in feminism for women who look and act like me - the kind of woman who says no but men hear yes - the kind of women who are slated mercilessly for being their authentic, delicate selves, The kind of women who get their own stories and voices taken away from them by stronger women or by men who hate women.

I've been honest and optimistic about the challenging relationships I've had.

News flash! That's just how it is for many women.

And that was sadly my experience up until the point that those records were made. So i just want to say it's been a long 10 years of bullshit reviews up until recently and I've learned a lot from them. But I also feel it really paved the way for other women to stop “putting on a happy face” and to just be able to say whatever the hell they wanted to in their music - unlike my experience where if I even expressed a note of sadness in my first two records I was deemed literally hysterical as though it was literally the 1920s.

Anyways none of this has anything to do about much but I'll be detailing some of my feelings in my next two books of poetry (mostly the second one) with Simon and Schuster. Yes I'm still making personal reparations with the proceeds of the books to my choice of Native American foundations which I'm very happy about. And I'm sure there will be tinges of what I've been pondering in my new album that comes out September 5th.

Thanks for reading.

Happy quarantining.

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angelst4re · 2 years ago

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ommmmmmmmg queen 🫶 hoping obviously that you’re okay

just wanted to tell you that your imagine with jamie being a dad is amazing and so cutieeeee

we definitely neeeeeeeds more more of daddy jamie imagines from you !!!! i dont know how you write so great it’s actually insane and amazing 🤩 just wanted to tell you that because you deserve an applause

just saw what jamie posts on twitter about him being sober maybe you could write something with his sobering being encouraged by his children and him talking about that on an interview

or like you could do one where he responds to 75 questions from vogue in his house while he holds one of his twins who fell asleep in his arm ( i just saw cardi b one when she’s holding kulture and it was hella cute that’s why i was inspired ) and his house with reader is just so bohemian and colourful and there are so many toys ! we love a messy organized/clean house not like those celebrity museum 😭

thank u take care of yourself and your happiness

Hi my love!! This was so sweet omg!! I absolutely loved the idea of the vogue questions because I love watching them!! I had a perfect vision of what it would be like, I hope you like it, love! <33

73 Questions with Jamie Campbell Bower

warnings: none!

note: this was so cute i loved writing this!! and i'll 100% be giving you all more dad jamie content!! <3

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“Jamie Campbell Bower,”

“Hello! I’ve just got this one to sleep, I do apologise!” Says Jamie, motioning to the infant who was asleep on his shoulder.

“Ah! Is that Charlie?”

“Yes it is, come in! Sorry about the mess, me and y/n have just been so busy. We’ve just got back from a trip to France and the twins have had so much energy it’s unreal!” Jamie says, trying his best to keep his voice down.

“Well I’m here to ask you 73 questions, should we get started?”

“Yes, let’s do this!” Jamie grins.

If the camera was to show the entire living room, everyone would’ve seen piles of toys and boxes and paper and pencils everywhere! It was very clear that there were children living here, it made Jamie feel a bit embarrassed for not having tidied up before, but his plan was just to stay in one corner of this room and then move to the kitchen.

The room was open, and other than all the toys, it was beautifully decorated. There were hanging plants, a couple paintings hanging on the wall and some framed photos on top of the fireplace which appeared to be hidden. The khaki sofa had cushions scattered over it and fairy lights hung up on the wall above it, and a little mark which made it look like one of the kids had drawn on the wall.

“So your house looks amazing! How do you work around it looking stylish and still child-friendly?”

“Uhh… We don’t!” Jamie laughed, “the twins have sort of taken over, we’ve somehow replaced our cactus with a dollhouse and we’ve hid the fireplace with the sofa!”

“Well, it still looks astonishing! How’s fatherhood been treating you?”

“It’s great, honestly. I learn new things everyday, it’s made me learn more about myself as a person and I’ve become a lot more grateful towards my parents.”

“What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from having children?”

“The biggest lesson I’ve learnt… is to expect the unexpected!”

“What’s the most unexpected thing that has happened with the twins?”

“I can’t think of one from the top of my head! There’s been so many, but y’know, they’ve all been good things! Nothing terrible!” Jamie said with a smile, sitting down on the sofa, Charlie still asleep as he laid him down.

“What’s the most underrated part of parenthood?”

“Umm, I’d say the most underrated part of parenthood… is that you always have someone to play with, or hangout with. I’m never lonely anymore!”

As another question was being asked, Belle came running in from the kitchen, she reached her arms out for Jamie to pick her up so she could sit next to him.

“And this is Belle?”

“Yes, this is! Belle, do you want to say hello?”

“Hello!” The child babbles, before becoming shy and hiding her face in Jamie’s arm.

“Darling, why don’t we go and find mummy? I’ve got something really important to do, I promise I’ll play after, okay?”

She nods her head, Jamie apologises to the camera and he carries his daughter out to the garden, where y/n was hanging laundry out.

“Okay," Jamie sighs as he sits back down, "should we start over?”

#dad jamie <3 #jamie campbell bower #jamie campbell bower x reader

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hxnmantii · 4 years ago

Text

Class 1-A and their car habits

tw: crack/fluff, cursing

People: Bakugo, Shoto, Izuku, Sero, Kiri, iida, Mina x mostly gn!reader (Mina is the only one that’s implied female!reader)

Ratings: PG

A/n: yuuhh get into💋 I personally would like to ride with Shoto. I just wanna hold his hand👉🏾👈🏾 but not on no simp shit. Originally, this was going to be just boys but who would I be if my gay self didn’t add the queen herself? Anyways, Who would you like to ride with?

Bakugo~

Bakugo does that sexy ass thing where he drives with one hand on the wheel and one hand on your thigh and when you don’t pay him enough attention he’ll lightly squeeze your thigh. This man does NOT share the aux....his stingy ass. He says he doesn’t wanna listen “to your trash music” but will play bxmb threat and NBA Youngboy at full capacity with the windows down. If you beg enough maybe he’ll play 1 Nicki song. But he will throw a fit and act like he doesn’t like Nicki even though he knows all of the lyrics. Altough he’s really uptight about his car, he enjoys driving and picking up the Bakusquad in it because he likes to feel useful and needed. No doubt about it, this man has road rage. He’s screaming outside the window and in the car about how someone cut him off and when someone screams back him, he’s like “Pull over right now cuz those sound like fighting words to me.” Now y’all in the back of a cop car and 30 minutes late to your dinner date. You are not, I repeat, you are NOT allowed to even think about eating in his car unless he’s got that plastic wrapping on his car. He treats his car so good (at some point you think he likes the care better than you) her name is Bethany. I-

Shoto~

Shoto has one hand on the wheel and one hand in your hand, stroking your hand from time to time and kissing the back of it. He had a sleek gray sliver car with a sunroom (he never actually uses) that goes fast and he likes going real fast because what they gon do, give him a ticket??? When his dad the number one hero??? Try again. He’s also the type to flick off the cops as he driving by because ACAB. He’s always wearing a gold Rolex and you got your nails done so when you hold his, the acrylics compliment his hand and watch.(like the pictures from Pinterest) You guys ride in comfortable silence. It’s so calming riding with him because although you’re slightly anxious with how fast he’s going, you’re at somewhat ease because he’s doing it so smoothly and you trust him. His windows are tinted because once again he’s the son of a pro hero and people are nosy, neither you or him like that. Although you don’t really need the assistance with Shoto being a living AC and heater in one, his seats have buttons for each seat and you can warm your bum. His car had the clean car smell...it just smells really clean. He’s got a bunch of condiments and napkins in his glove department. He doesn’t know where they came from. His whole vibe in his car is rich and elegant. He gets his car professional wash every Tuesday and you are required to come.

Kirishima

Kiri’s got a big ass red GMC truck and he gave the truck these monster wheels so it’s a force to be reckoned with. Her name is Sophie and like Bakugo, he loves her dearly but makes it clear to you that he’s love you more than her. He does the sexy ass thing where he’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand tightly holding on to your head rest so his arms flexing and he’s backing up with a concentrated look. that is so hot to me. He’s got a sticker on the back that says “honk if you’re manly” . He definitely would let you take the aux because you guys made a playlist of songs you chose together. He would be the type to start dancing when a good song came on, almost hitting someone in the process because he took both hands off the steering wheel out of excitement. He’s got road rage but not enough to actually start shouting or flicking someone off. In the trunk of Kirishima’s car, he’s got at least 5 different protein bottles as well a case of water and some jump rope. He says “You never know when I’ll need it to work out” but he has his personal gym?? Anyways, he has a specific section in his closet for red button ups because he likes to match Sophie when he drives her😭 I hate to say it but Kiri looks like a hill billy especially since he’s got those shoulder cut out button ups. He’s cute with it and he’s happy so you somewhat tolerate it

Midoriya

Izuku has more of a family car like a soccer mom car or a dark green Ford explore because he likes to pick everybody up to hang out and he needs space since he’s got a lot of them. Not to mention, he also likes to cruise and enjoy his time with you no matter where y’all go because we all know this man is a simppp. At every stop light, he’s gently grabbing your face and either kissing you on your cheek or forehead. He tried giving you a kiss on the lips once but he got so caught on the feeling that he ended up holding up the line and everybody was honking and made at him. He was so embarrassed that he now waits til you guys get to your destination to do all that extraness. Being the big fan he is, naturally he has some All might themed seatbelts and has all might stickers all over his steering wheel. He also has little all Might figurine on his dashboard that he prays to get him out of car trouble. Genuinely think it’s works too. Izuku in his trunk has a bunch of workout gear and gaze cuz he’s sexy like that. He does not have road rage at all....maybe a little. He might flick someone off but that’s as far as it goes. He definitely gives you the aux because he loves watching how lively you get it. (Y/n) “Do you know your Megan baby?”🥰 (ZuZu) “Y-yes?”

Iida

Now hear me out...Iida has a motorcycle. He’s got a need for speed that cars can’t really fufill because you can’t weave through other cars like a motorcycle can. His motorcycle has the highest tech on it naturally. It’s all black but has lights underneath it so he can change it by phone and ofc it’s always blue. You guys also have matching helmets that are Bluetooth so you’re able to talk to one another without having to yell very much. When you guise stop, he rubbing your arms to make sure that you’re okay and/if you need to pull over. Now when he’s not riding the motorcycle he’s got a Tesla. He preaches about the law and following the rules but when he get in the car, that’s a different story. With him you better either hold on tight to him or you better get double seat belt buckles for extra protection because he’s about to try and race the flash. (And you thought Shoto was bad) You get out thanking the universe for letting you touch ground again. Iida got the type of car that if you even breathe incorrectly around it, it’s going off and waking up the whole damn neighborhood. When iida first got his car, he read everything up on it so he would be fully able to use the car to its full potiential meaning that he’s got Siri set up, he can lock the door from his car, and watch the cameras on his house through the screen of his car. The Bluetooth is automatically connected to his phone so no you will not be getting the aux but you can play some tunes form his phone. He’ll even make you a playlist on Apple Music with his rich self.

Sero

Sero’s got a red convertible with tan seats and the weather allows it, his top is always down. His car always smells so good because he uses the wild cherry air freshener in his car. He blasts bad bunny and daddy Yankee as y’all are cruising slightly over the speed light. He also likes blasting Ski Mask. He’s the type to sing you the words while gently holding your face and singing to you with a lovey dovey smile on his face. He’s very respectful and turns down his music when entering neighborhoods because he doesn’t wanna mess with the vibes. You two have matching glasses that says queen/ king on yours and king on his. He definitely has some throw dice hanging from his mirror along with a picture of you and him taped to his dashboard cuz he’s also a simp. He’s always has a packet of Extra gum in his middle console along with warm water bottles. If police pulls him over, he definitely the type to start flirting with him so the officer just to make him uncomfortable enough to let him off with a warning. For a fact, he has the Puerto Rican flag on the antenna of his car. He has Led lights and likes them to be colorful rather than on one color. Sero definitely jogs around the front to open the door for you because he’s a jester and a gentleman in one. His part of his car is that the top can go down solely for the fact that the sun always highlights your skins so well.

Mina

Do I even need to say anything about the Pink queen herself?? She has a cute pink steering wheel case with matching pink seats and ofc she has a bedazzled stick shift. She has a Jeep. She the type of person to has matching glasses with her interior and when you get in the car, she’s putting her music on shuffle: a dangerous move because you go from Brent Faiyaz to Jhene Aiki to fucking Cardi B, Flo Mili, and etc. When you unbuckle your seat to start twerking in the seat, she’s automatically going to start hyping you up. She’s got one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on your ass smacking it as you fuck it up in the passenger seat. Y’all are literally swerving from side to side and let’s be honest here, Mina is not that good of a driver so you have almost gotten in an accident multiple times. She’s the type to pull over to take cute selfies or videos with you and post them all at once captioning it with “Late nights w/bae”. Underneath seat she an emergency packet filled with makeup, clothes, hair and first aid kit supplies. Although she’s not the best driver, she takes the rules really serious because she would hate to have an accident with you in the car. Like Sero, She has led lights in her car but they only flash pink. Mina is the queen of putting falsies on so she would mostly definitely put yours on (without tweezers) once you park as well as do your edges if you ask. She just has that talent. *chefs kiss* amazing

Reblogs are appreciated!

A/n: I’m lyin I definitely would be riding with Bakugo because I have major passenger rod rage lol and you definitely don’t wanna get your ass beat TWICE

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vindelllas · 4 years ago

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Can you talk about beauty in revati women more specifically revati chandra? Thank you very much✨

i got you love 💕🤍💗

a mini exploration of revati chandra natives 🐘:

🐘 angelina jolie: revati chandra

🐘 rihanna: revati chandra

⌛️ in my opinion, revati chandra women have some of the best appearances out of the entire zodiac. they typically embody the best physical features of their genetics. they have the youthful features of the revati nakshatra’s ruler budha, such as plump, pouty lips; youthful and arched eyebrows; hypnotizing and magnetic eyes; strong jawlines and dainty noses; and larger foreheads. whereas, brihaspati (the ruler of pisces) bestows these natives with a naturally curvaceous, hourglass-shaped, and busty figure. their figures are not extremely thick or have such a waist emphasis like dhanishta, but more so a thickened, slimmer body type. the are typically of medium height, around 67-68 inches tall (budha-ruled women tend to be short but brihaspati-ruled women tend to be slightly tall, so there is somewhat a height balance). they favor embellishing their beautiful features with more yin characteristics like medium-to-long hair, long nails, diamond jewelry, and thinner eyebrows.

🐘 ali mcgraw: revati chandra

🐘 janet jackson: revati chandra

🌊 due to revati’s high expectations of both themselves and others, these natives are often prone to slight feelings of low self-esteem. they seem to struggle with accepting the losses and short-comings in their lives. this behavior sends them into an emotional spiral and causes them to forget how to handle situations of adversity. they may sometimes lack the practical and disciplined nature they need to survive during times of trials and tribulations. internally, revati chandras are quite compassionate to others and struggle with expressing the same compassion to themselves, as they are always under constant stereotypes and ridicule from others. this is why revatis may either seem emotionally unavailable (as an adjustment to society’s cruel nature) or insanely emotionally unstable (due to them growing tired of concealing their emotions to others and choosing to rather manically embrace all of their suppressed emotions at once).

🐘 whitney houston: revati chandra

🌱 revati belongs to the mridu (tender) nakshatras, along with mrigashira, chitra, and anuradha. the mridu nakshatras are best for pursuing platonic relationships and the enjoyment of life’s pleasures. such as, romance, dance, drama, fashion, and literature. because revati is also ruled by pushan, the deity for nurturing and safe travel, they are naturally called to explore the finer things in life before the ascend into the plane of pure spirituality. men, in particular, struggle with this placement more as it conflicts with their natural yang nature and causes many revati chandra men to become obsessed with the vanity of the physical plane. as budha-ruled men embody the trickster archetype to the fullest and become too consumed with pursuing the “next best thing” as fast as possible, like younger women and greater amounts of money. whereas, revati chandra women seem to focus on enjoying their creative pursuits and the journey of life much more.

🐘 salma hayek: revati chandra

🏹 revati chandra women are highly sexual beings. their mercurial nature makes them naturally quite shamelessly promiscuous and embody the stereotypical male fantasies of the “cool girl” (a woman with a youthful glow, high sex appeal, and a preference for vulgarities/alcohol/physical activities). this seems to cause great polarity in pop culture. revati chandra native cardi b is quite infamous for her highly sexually explicit songs and revealing outfits. budha-ruled women love to entice and tease others with their abundant looks and hypnotic aura. after all, mercury/budha is regarded as the playful trickster in vedic astrology and the elephant yoni is regarded as the best yoni for sexual endurance. yet, they know how to market their bodies to receive the utmost profit. think of revati chandra celebrities like salma hayek and eva longoria who are known for their figures and body revealing scenes in film. men seem to idolize and worship the playful sensuality of revati chandras, while women seem to often feel imitated and threatened by their nature.

an excellent musical example of revati’s constant hate they receive for wishing to control the sexual narrative of their bodies, harsh exterior, and their proneness to the usage of vulgarities:

🐘 cardi b (revati chandra): upper photo

🐘 eva longoria (revati chandra): lower photo

🐘 sade adu: revati chandra

🌬 because revati is symbolic of the natural twelfth house, the house of great intuition and our soul’s ascension/descension, these natives have a strong sense of intuition. they are typically expressive of their deep connections to the astral plane through their artistic endeavors. revati chandra native sade adu was known for her transcendental, almost aquatic-like voice and angelina jolie stars in the disney film “maleficent”, a fairy-tale and dream-like film. revati’s expression of the twelfth house is much different than the other pisces rashi nakshatras. revatis stand out in both the physical and astral plane, they bring unique qualities from both realms as they are the utmost mastery of the nakshatras. in “maleficent”, angelina jolie plays a misunderstood fairy who learns to embrace both her dark and nourishing nature. she has contrasting pale/dark features, large and black wings, and huge horns. she looks nothing like the other soft, pastel-loving fairies and is often stereotyped as mean or brutal. this is much similar to the nature of revatis, their harsh external nature is often confused for being robotic or aggressive, this is why tropical aries are often given such a bad rep for their agression. revatis feel so deeply and truthfully on the inside, but struggle with expressing their emotions out of fear that they will be even more misconstrued. everything affects them so much, they prefer to become almost numb. as they progress through life, their outer shell eventually shatters and reveals the strong, yet caring, individual they truly are.

🐘 anna wintour: revati chandra

✨ revati natives are sincere and passionate with everything they do. they strive for a clear and honest approach to their work and life and are called to live uniquely and embrace their individuality. like all mercurial nakshatras, they tend to embrace an ambivert/extrovert lifestyle and have very outgoing and magnetic personalities. their social nature and great beauty allow them to dazzle and hypnotize the hearts of the masses. this magnetism is why we see many revati chandras rising to the top of their respective fields. such as, rihanna and her fashion/cosmetic/music career, angelina jolie and her acting/philanthropy career, and anna wintour is often regarded as the reigning queen of fashion. revati is literally translated as “wealthy”, these natives continuously blossom and flourish thanks to budha’s charm and brihaspati’s blessings of prosperity!

hope this helps love 💕 happy february everyone! i plan on exploring chitra next!

xoxo, angel <3

#vedicastrology #nakshatras #mercury planet #astrology #budha #chandra #moon #pisces aesthetic #pisces moon #revati

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wickedmilo · 3 years ago

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A GESTURE OF LOVE | MILO & ARIANA

PLACE: Milo and Metzli’s apartment TIMING: Takes place before ‘You Made Me Love You’ SUMMARY: Despite mixed emotions, Milo decides to bake a pie for Silas and enlists Ariana’s help WRITING PARTNER: @letsbenditlikebennett CONTENT WARNINGS: Very brief alcohol mention

Milo was almost embarrassed by the excitement he had shown at the prospect of learning how to bake for Silas. His conversation with Ariana felt like years ago, in the space of a few days everything had changed. He had been so sure things were going well, so sure that he wasn’t stupid for imagining a future with his boyfriend. And now… Silas had tried to leave him in the most permanent way not only once, but twice. It wasn’t personal, he knew the zombie had a twisted sense of chivalry. Silas didn’t believe the world should be subjected to his presence, which was a difficult perspective to understand, and no doubt a difficult perspective to have. But it was almost impossible to talk himself out of thinking maybe he just wasn’t enough of a reason to stay. Maybe he wasn’t worth it. Maybe he couldn’t be the salve for his boyfriend’s pain that he was so desperately trying to be. At first, the pie had been a gesture of love. Something he could learn to do that was thoughtful, and meaningful, and would hopefully brighten his day. Now he was overcome by pettiness. The thought of entering Emilio’s apartment with proof of his love, proof of how much he cared, and subsequently proof of just how much he was hurting filled him with a vindictive satisfaction that was undeniable. So he hadn’t cancelled his plans with his friend. Instead he made it clear he was eager to follow through with them. He had woken early in the afternoon to enjoy the daylight streaming through the uv filtered glass while he waited for Ariana to arrive, and set to work on readying the kitchen.

Metzli had more than enough cooking materials for this particular challenge. After being buried, and denying their trauma, they spent an awful lot of time making food. Usually cooking Mexican pastries that looked, and smelled so good he found himself longing to have his human taste back. But eventually they had fallen out of the habit. Making sure everything was clean, and neatly organised on the kitchen counter, he changed out of his sleepwear into his usual combination of blue jeans, and a sweater. Once he was dressed, he began to aimlessly scroll through his social media, using his phone as a distraction so that Silas couldn’t creep into his thoughts. Even though this day was technically about him, he would much rather focus on Ariana, and it wasn’t long before he heard her footsteps approaching the apartment’s door. Moving to open it, he offered her a sheepish grin when he realised her fist was raised, ready to knock and announce her arrival. “Sorry, I heard you coming.” He admitted, stepping back to welcome her inside. “Metzli went through a bit of a baking phase not long ago, everything’s out on the counter. We have about five pie dishes to choose from, so… we truly are living a life of luxury.”

If she were being honest with herself, Ariana knew she was running herself ragged. It’d been nearly four days with barely more than a week of sleep before her dreams tormented her. Reminded her that she didn’t deserve to be here, that she didn’t deserve the kindness her loved ones offered. The ghosts of her past seemed keen to remind her that she only made things worse, that she failed everyone she loved, but she couldn’t fail at this. She was just showing her friend how to make a pie for his boyfriend. It couldn’t make Milo’s life worse or put him in any potential danger. Maybe she didn’t deserve the distraction, but Milo deserved someone who followed through with their plans. At least she tried to reason as much with herself on the drive over. Not even Cardi B and a large cup entirely filled with espresso shots was enough to lift her mood. As she pulled in, she pepped herself up a bit by dancing in the driver’s seat to get some energy coursing through her. It didn’t do much, but it’d have to be good enough. She grabbed her totes with ingredients out of the back and made her way up to Milo’s. Just as she raised her hand to knock on the door it opened. She blinked and shook her head as she took a moment to register what happened. “Huh,” she offered with a laugh, “Guess that’s what it feels like to be on the other side of that.”

Ariana followed inside and took stock of the kitchen as Milo explained. Her processing speed was a bit slow and it took her a few beats too long to catch Metzli’s name. Her brow furrowed a bit. “You live with Metzli,” she asked with a tilt of her head, “That’s pretty cool. I’ve met them before. They stopped me from doing something pretty fucking stupid so they’re good in my book.” It was a good thing they did that spoke more to Metzli’s character than her own. It was hard to shove down that thought that she almost wished she signed up to fight at The Ring. Maybe she would have been dead before anything happened with Alcher and Kaden. Then she’d be alive or Kaden would also be dead. There wasn’t any winning in that situation for her. She looked over the pie plate options and picked out the a medium-sized one that looked like it’d fit the right amount of brains. “This one looks good. I’ll warn you now, don’t be alarmed by the amount of spice going into this. My zombie friend liked spicy stuff because the taste of most things is dulled. Kind of gives it a mild zing for zombies.”

“You do the same thing to other people?” Milo asked, amused by the admission. “I can’t help it… when you know someone’s at the door, waiting for them to knock feels kind of pointless. It’s becoming a habit.” Raising his eyebrows, doing nothing to hide his surprise, he was curious to hear Ariana use Metzli’s name. It was obvious she knew them, but in White Crest they could have crossed paths in any number of ways. “I do.” He confirmed. “The whole place is technically theirs, though… well, they added my name to the lease.” The fact brought with it a rush of warmth each time he allowed himself to consider what it truly meant. This was his home as much as it was Metzli’s, even if sometimes he didn’t feel he had earned his place in it. “They pretty much adopted me, you know? When I was a baby vampire. Macleod too. If you know Metzli then you probably know Macleod?” Following his friend to the kitchen counter, he laughed quietly, unable to help himself. “Metzli’s daily routine consists of stopping me from doing stupid shit.” He admitted, sheepishly pushing his glasses further up his nose. “I’m sure they’re more than used to the responsibility.”

For a brief moment he allowed the situation to consume him, allowed himself to get lost in his friend’s choice of pie dish, along with the various mixing bowls he had managed to hunt down. But it wasn’t long before Ariana was speaking again. “Hm?” He looked back up, registering the warning after a few seconds had passed. “Oh, right. Yeah, it works the same for vampires, actually. It’s difficult to taste anything that isn’t blood. I can’t tell you how much I miss the taste of beer. And burgers… jeez, I’d give anything for like, a double cheeseburger.” As much as he missed human food, blood tasted better to him now than anything he had enjoyed over the course of his lifetime. At least he could take some comfort in that. “Spice gives everything a kick though… I can get a hint of Extra Hot Cheetos when I really focus, but it isn’t the same.” Moving some of the items closest to him so that Ariana had more space for her ingredients, he caught her eye, finding himself incredibly grateful for her company. “I guess you never experienced human taste, huh? But does taste change when a human becomes a werewolf? Do you ever get a craving for raw steak?” He was half teasing, but part of him felt sure the answer was going to be a resounding yes.

“Oh, yeah! I can usually smell or hear people coming. A little less so near the new moon, but most of the time, I’m at the door before there’s even a knock, “Ariana explained with a laugh, “Anyone who’s coming to my house already knows I’m a werewolf anyway.” Milo seemed surprised to hear that she knew Metzli, which was fair. It wasn’t like she had met them in a normal way or even a way she felt necessarily comfortable telling other people about. It would only make them worry if people knew she’d been considering signing up for fighting at The Ring. The fact she probably would have if Metzli hadn’t offered to fight and told her it was a bad idea wasn’t something she was proud of. Hell, there wasn’t a whole lot that she could feel proud about lately anyway. “Huh, that’s pretty cool of them. This is a nice place,” she offered with a small smile. “Haven’t met Macleod,” she answered as her head tilted curiously, “I wouldn’t say I know Metzli super well. Met them on a night where I was gonna do something dumb and they sparred it out with me. And we talk every so often I guess. But that’s super cool they adopted you. Has to help having someone show you the ropes of vampire life.” She supposed vampires were similar to bitten wolves in that way. Her stomach churned at that thought. What had she really done to help Kitty, Kyle, or Luis? The answer was a resounding not much. She barked out a short laugh. “Guess we both fall under the young and stupid title then.”

It seemed that Milo was about as spacy as she was these days. Ariana knew how easy it was to get lost in thought when you were plagued with worry or guilt. The whispers of guilt never seemed to fully leave her own mind lately. She gave him a concerned look, “You good there, space cadet?” As Milo explained, Ari decided she was glad she was the brand of supernatural who could taste things. Burgers being one of her favorite things to taste. It was part of the reason she visited Kitty at work as often as she did. “I won’t lie and say I don’t crave raw steak, because I do eat raw meat a lot. I tend to go for venison. But I can taste other things too? Even things I shouldn’t eat like chocolate and still do because it tastes good. That has to be weird, going from being able to taste things to… not.” She let out a laugh. “You and your Hot Cheetos. Takis are still the superior hot snack. Hands down.” She started prepping the pie crust in one of the larger mixing bowls so she wouldn’t get flour everywhere. She didn’t particularly like making pie crust, but it was so much better than the packaged stuff. “Guess I wouldn’t know if there’s a change or not. I’ll have to ask one of my roommates. They’d know.”

“So, deliciously undead boyfriend… how long have you been together,” Ari asked with a knowing smirk. Just because her love life was a series of failed Tinder dates didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy her friends’.

“The new moon?” Milo echoed, trying to draw on his very limited knowledge of moon cycles. “Which one is that?” He could probably take a guess, but he enjoyed talking to Ariana, and he had a feeling she could offer him a lot more information if only he showed he was interested in listening. Humming in amusement, he tried to think of the last person to visit the apartment who didn’t know it was inhabited by vampires. “Honestly… I think we only get supernatural visitors here. Maybe the occasional human…” But did Emilo really count? “Macleod is one of them. She has a thing with Metzli, I don’t really know what they’re labelling it. She’s like the supernatural mom to my supernatural zad.” He joked, a smile tugging at his lips. With company, it was so easy to push thoughts of Silas from his mind, even while he was preparing to bake him a pie. He focused on Ariana, allowing himself to enjoy the fact that he wasn’t alone. “Yeah, for a while I didn’t have anybody and it… wasn’t great. Somebody took me in, but it wasn’t the same as what I have now. He helped me out of obligation, I think. You know, you see a lost baby vampire in the street, you train him, and send him on his way.” He laughed, unable to help himself. It was essentially what had happened with Harsh. Although he considered the man a friend, there had been something routine about the help he offered. “Metzli is family.” Pulling a face at the mention of being young and stupid, he moved closer to watch what Ariana was doing. “I resent that, but you’re probably right.” He teased, leaning lazily against the counter, the faint smell of flour permeating the air.

Pulled back out of his temporary distraction, he only realised he had gotten lost in his thoughts as he broke out of them. He offered his friend a sheepish grin. “I’m fine.” He insisted, falling silent as she began to talk elaborate on steak. More than happy to let her lead. “I guess I wouldn’t say no to a steak if it was bloody.” He pondered the thought, wondering whether he should ask Metzli if they had ever eaten steak and been able to enjoy it. “Wait- you can’t eat chocolate?” It took his mind a moment to catch up, and the obvious nature of the statement hit him suddenly. “So you have the digestive system of a canine? Or like… the same intolerances at least?” He asked, keeping his expression light so that she would know he didn’t mean any offence. He still wasn’t sure what was considered polite versus outright rude when it came to the supernatural community. “Even without my taste I’m telling you Hot Cheetos are better.” He countered, choosing to skate past the mention of losing his sense of taste. He was more than used to it by now, and his memories of the jarring shift were already starting to fade. Just as he suspected he might, he was forgetting the more specific details of being human, and maybe it was for the best. Maybe it would make his humanity more difficult to miss. “If you enjoy raw venison then there’s probably a change.” He pointed out. “I don’t think humans are really into that kind of thing.” Taking a step back so that he wouldn’t get in her way as she transported the dough to a mixing bowl, he had long since lost track of the process. Opening his mouth, ready to ask for a breakdown of the recipe, he was caught off guard by the mention of Silas. He should have known Ariana would eventually have questions to ask but that didn’t stop him from feeling as though he had been doused in ice water.

“Oh…” He trailed off, struggling to find that wouldn’t hurt. “Two months, I guess.” His smile faded, and he forced himself to continue staring down at the dough. “Unofficially… a lot longer than that.” Swallowing his emotion, he hated how easy it was to feel weighed down. How easy it was for his happiness to dissipate at the reminder of the way his life was falling to pieces. A frown creasing his brow, he continued to avoid Ariana’s gaze. “I never thought of myself as the boyfriend type until meeting him. It’s still… weird.”

“It’s the time of the month when the moon isn’t visible. It’s one of the moon phases, it’s the halfway point between full moons,” Ariana explained. Being familiar with the lunar cycles was just part of being a werewolf. It wasn’t just transformations, how she felt physically was so strongly in tune with the phase of the moon that it was impossible to not be somewhat cognizant of them. She rolled the dough she was kneading into a ball and set it in the fridge so it could chill while they prepared the brains. “You want to let the dough chill about 15 minutes, I usually do the brains part during then,” she explained. Going through instructions was better than acknowledging the pang that came with Milo’s mention of supernatural parents. The loss of Alcher was still fresh and even if it had been months, she missed Ulfric, too. It felt like taking care of the wolves was all on her now and the guilt that gnawed away at her constantly was a reminder that she’d inevitably fail them too. She kept her eyes on the brains she was removing from their butcher shop packaging as she added, “That’s awesome. Supernatural parent figures. They help a lot.” So long as you don’t lose them.

Normally, Ariana would push whatever was clearly not fine and on Milo’s mind, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to. Was she not keeping her own misery sealed away under lock and key? Some things were simply too heavy to talk about, because if you said them outloud, then they were real. She used to think you had to openly process emotions to move through them, but she was learning that wasn’t the case. If she were to try and process all the loss she’d caused, she wasn’t sure she’d ever move again, if she’d ever want to move again. Instead, she just shrugged off and let out a laugh. “Bloody steak is the best steak. You might enjoy the venison I bring home from full moons while it’s still bloody.” She quickly showed Milo the seasonings she was using in the brain. Garlic, paprika, cayenne, ghost pepper hot sauce, chilli powder, onion powder, pepper flakes. “Use a shit ton of each. I don’t usually measure. Just… a lot so it actually has some flavour that zombies can taste. I wouldn’t recommend letting anyone who can actually taste try it. Unless you really don’t like them then by all means, go off.”

“But yeah, chocolate is theoretically a no go. Not that it’s ever stopped me. Just upsets my stomach a little bit,” Ari couldn’t help but giggle at the comparison, “Yeah, canine digestion about sums it up. Just a lot less sensitive than say a dog.” She dumped the spices in and began to mix everything together. She simply shook her head about the Hot Cheetos. It was okay to be wrong sometimes and Takis would always be the superior snack. “I guess you’re right though, that is a pretty big change in taste. So one of the many changes with getting bitten,” she agreed. Her attention piqued as Milo spoke about his boyfriend.

Ari smiled, “That’s sweet. I know it took a bit before my ex and I were actually official. Even though she lived with me.” She ignored the sadness that came with thinking about Athena. She listened as he explained and knew it made enough sense. “That’s fair. Everyone’s different in love. Right now I’m personally on a string of Tinder dates, both good and bad, and don’t plan on settling down soon.” She knew she hardly deserved the support a stable relationship would offer. She already had too many people who cared for her. “Is he your first boyfriend?”

“You mean not visible at all? I thought there was always a part of it showing?” Milo tried to recall every time he looked up at the sky in a bid to appreciate the moon. Sometimes he struggled to locate it, but he always explained that away by noting there were too many clouds, or too much light pollution for it to really shine through. Apparently he was oblivious to how the moon cycles actually worked, but he was genuinely excited by the opportunity to learn. Now that werewolves were beginning to settle themselves in his life again it only made sense that he made an effort to understand them, in the same way they made an effort to understand him. As Ariana picked up the dough and made her way to the fridge, he debated warning her about the vials of blood, and hospital bags that lined the shelves in lieu of food, though very quickly decided against doing so. She had already proven herself to be more than familiar with the supernatural world, and he didn’t want to make the stranger elements of his life feel even stranger. “Yeah…” He smiled at her as she returned to his side, pulling another mixing bowl towards them both. “They really do.”

His smile growing when Ariana agreed that bloody steak was enjoyable, he laughed at the image of a wolf collecting only the finest of cuts. “I probably would, you know.” Leaning closer to take note of the spices she was lining up, he raised his eyebrows, almost impressed by the assortment. It felt like they were pretending to be scientists, or even spellcasters, creating a powerful concoction to counteract the loss of a person’s taste. In reality, he knew it wasn’t science, so much as finding the strongest ingredients and throwing them into the mix, but that didn’t take away from the fun of the task. “Hm… I wonder how many other changes there are. It was the smaller changes that used to catch me off guard… they still do sometimes. When I get nervous my heart doesn’t pound… I can’t hear it, or feel it, even though my instinct is still to put my hand over it like this…” He pressed his hand against his sternum, palm laying flat, in the way people did when something had startled them. As always he wasn’t able to feel a pulse. “That’s always jarring… even after a year.” Surely there had to be changes for werewolves that were equally as small, and equally as difficult to accept. He wanted to stay on the subject, to continue discussing it until there was quite literally nothing else they could say. It would be far easier than talking about Silas, but ignoring Ariana’s questions felt rude considering Silas was the reason she had agreed to teach him her recipe.

“Something tells me Silas and I are never going to reach the ‘living together’ step.” He admitted, working to keep how much that hurt him out of his voice. Even if he could figure out an arrangement with Metzli, even if his boyfriend could find a way to coexist with them, it was becoming increasingly clear that he was in far too deep to consider the feelings of others. The zombie thought of himself as a burden, no matter how hard his friends tried to make him see otherwise. “Uh… he doesn’t get along with Metzli.” He admitted, hoping the explanation would suffice. “And it’s a big thing in Metzli’s culture to have the whole family living under one roof. I can’t imagine not having them there… and I’m sure Silas can’t imagine the opposite.” It was the truth, and something he had considered a lot during the span of their latest disagreement. But the issue was never going to be addressed because Silas didn’t want to live with him. Shit, Silas didn’t even want to live. “Yeah, he’s my first boyfriend.” He nodded slowly, taking a moment to focus on keeping expression neutral. “Before becoming a vampire I didn’t really do friends. I wasn’t alone, I knew people… people who were good company, but I doubt any of them would even recognise me now. That’s the world I was existing in. Relationships complicated things, and I was fine with that. I wasn’t happy, but I definitely wasn’t unhappy. I knew how my life was going to go, and like… that was kind of a comfort.” Swallowing he began picking at a thread in the hem of his sweater. “Then I met Silas, and he just seemed so sad. We had so much in common, so many ways to understand each other. He never once told me I have a problem, or worried about the way I choose to have fun, and I thought… I thought maybe we could make each other happy.” I could make him happy. What a stupid thing to ever have believed. “Sorry, I guess you didn’t need to hear all of that.”

“You can usually see like the outline of it? Like the sun hitting the back of the moon, so visible, but only if you’re really looking,” Ari explained. There was something soothing in talking about something as simple as the phases of the moon. It helped quiet the constant whispers of the faces that haunted her dreams and she appreciated that Milo cared to learn. Minus the fact they were literally making a brain pie for a zombie, it could almost seem like they were just two normal young people doing normal young people things. She wasn’t sure she longed to be normal, the wolf had always been part of her and was something she once loved about herself, but it’d be nice if things could just be a little easier. The blood in the fridge was a quick reminder they weren’t normal and eventually, something unkind would happen to one or both of them. Likely sooner than later given the town’s track record. She felt the pang of sadness at that thought and her own long gone adopted wolf parental figures. “I’m glad you have them,” she said wistfully, “I miss mine. They– Of the wolves I know and live with, I’m the only one who’s not new at it. I’m the one who’s supposed to have the answers, who’s supposed to keep them safe, and I- it feels like they should have someone else. Someone…”

Ari couldn’t quite bring herself to say the word better. It felt too raw. Too much like it would expose that she had no idea what that hell she was doing, that she’d lost more people than she’d saved. So much for forgetting. The bitter thought echoed through her mind as she tried to return her focus to the task at hand which was mixing a combination of spices that would knock anyone with working taste buds right on their ass. “I’ll have to save some for you next full moon, see if you like it,” she commented as she tried to brighten her own mood. She’d already gotten heavier than she should have for a fun night. She turned her focus to Milo’s experience as a new vampire. She couldn’t say she understood the vampire experience and this insight into her friend. “That has to be jarring,” she agreed, “The heart pounding feeling doesn’t feel great, but it’s hard to imagine it not being there when it should be. I’m sure I’d be alarmed if I woke up without all the wolf things, too.”

When the conversation turned, Ari found herself a bit surprised. They were here making pie for Milo’s boyfriend that he wasn’t sure he’d reach the living together stage with. Not that her first relationship was normal by any measure… well, maybe living together before the first date was normal by WLW standards. It did make more sense the more Milo spoke though. Had Celeste been alive, she wasn’t sure she would have ever not lived with her sister. “For your sake, I hope Metzli and Silas learn to get along. It’s hard having two people you love being at odds with each other,” she said as she shoved down the memory of Alcher and Kaden in that clearing. Milo’s request was so much smaller, but she hoped he wouldn’t have to beg like she did only to be let down. Then she felt the heartache in his voice as he continued speaking. The way his sentence trailed off and the uncertainty that it hinted to. She paused putting the final piece of the pie together and looked to Milo sympathetically. “I don’t think relationships are as simple as making each other happy. I think it’s more about being a part of each other’s happiness and pain. That sadness can be bonding and it’s not a bad start, but happiness isn’t a given,” she offered, “And I think at some level that happiness needs to stem from within, you know?”

“I guess I’ve never paid enough attention to notice.” Milo admitted. He would definitely make more of an effort in future. If the phases of the moon consistently affected the physical wellbeing of his friends then it only made sense to track its cycle. His smile fading into an expression of concern, he struggled to imagine finding himself in charge of a vampire younger than he was, a vampire with less knowledge, less experience. A vampire who was relying on him to guide them… He still felt as though he was learning to walk, how could he possibly be expected to teach other people? Sure, Ariana had experience, but she was young, and the weight of that responsibility must be incredibly heavy. It made him see her differently, he realised. He had always admired how easily she seemed to navigate the supernatural world, but a newfound respect now accompanied his familiar affection. “That sounds terrifying.” He agreed. “I’m sorry they’re gone… I’m sorry you were the one who had to take charge, that couldn’t have been easy...” The word ‘better’ seemed to hover in the air between them, unspoken but still somehow obvious. He reached out to hesitantly place a hand over hers, attempting to ease some of her inner conflict. “I’m sure you’re enough, Ari. Just like I’m sure they’re grateful for you…”

Withdrawing his hand as she moved the conversation forward, he followed her lead, turning his attention back to the pie. “Anything with blood is pretty great. I can’t believe I never thought to try rare steak- isn’t that like, vampire 101?” Humming quietly in response to the comment on his unnerving lack of a pulse, he rested the pad of a finger against one of the pulsepoints in his neck, even now somewhat convinced he might feel the steady rhythm of his heart. “Yeah, but the really weird thing is I think if I woke up tomorrow and I was human again, I’d be overwhelmed by everything. By the taste of everything, by the heart beat, by being warm… I bet it would be really uncomfortable after so long of this.” A quiet laugh escaping him as the subject circled back to Metzli, and Silas, he couldn’t decide whether to be amused, or bitter. He struggled to see a future where Metzli, and Silas became friends. But he also struggled to see a future where Silas wanted to be with him so did it even really matter either way? “Yeah, it wasn’t fun. A few times I felt like I needed to choose a side but even now I don’t think I know exactly what happened between them. They like to keep to themselves, probably in some twisted attempt to protect me.” Catching Ariana’s eye, noticing the way she faltered at his statement, it was undeniably naïve, but there was something in her expression that made him think there was more to her reaction than sympathy. Happiness isn’t a given. He swallowed a sudden rush of emotion, willing himself not to break down and cry. This day was about spending time with a friend, not dissolving into hysterics over the unknowns of his current situation. “I know…” He murmured, a frown creasing his brow. “But… Ari, what are you supposed to do when they don’t have any happiness within? What are you supposed to do to help them then?”

It was a heavy confession that Ari hadn’t meant to speak aloud. It was supposed to be hers to carry. If she were better, she wouldn’t even be in this position in the first place. Alcher would still be here and her friends would be in good hands. It was hers to carry and she shouldn’t feel lighter for having shared those fears. Milo deserved a friendship that was easy in the midst of the difficult world he was thrusted into not even all that long ago. She wanted to be that for him so badly, allow them both some semblance of normalcy, but she couldn’t even manage that. You’ll just end up getting him killed, too. The thought came in the form of Sammy’s voice, but she pushed it back down. She chewed on her lip as he spoke. Of course he had encouraging words that she’d hardly earned. For a moment, all she could do was simply nod as she buried all the doubts that threatened to spill out again. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “I know you’re probably right. I guess it’s just hard not to want better for the people you love.”

The joke brought Ari back to a place where she felt more comfortable. “It’s definitely part of Werewolf 101,” she joked. Species changes were easier to ponder, not that she’d ever have to go through one. The mechanics were easy though and while she’d never be able to really understand, she could wrap her mind around. She listened to Milo as he put his fingers to where his pulsepoint would be if he still had a beating heart. She’d never really thought about what it’d be like to change back to human. “Huh,” she commented as she pondered it, “That would be weird. Guess that makes this normal now.” It wasn’t worth asking where his preference lied because as it stood, there was little to no chance that Milo would ever be human again. And even if it was possible, it’d never feel the same again, not really. Nothing ever was. After a certain point, it didn’t feel like anything could just be easy anymore. Even the conflict between Metzli and Milo’s boyfriend. She knew how hard it was to love two people who could never get along. She just hoped for his sake it never escalated to the point Alcher and Kaden had. “Either they’ll figure it out or they won’t. But there may be other reasons outside of just protecting you,” she assured. Sometimes things were too complicated to face aloud. Ari placed a hand gently on Milo’s shoulder. He was so good, just wanting to love and fix a broken person. Hell, his boyfriend probably even deserved as much, but she knew it could be hard to accept love, to accept help. How the pieces that seemed to be holding you together so be irreparably shattered. There wasn’t really a right way to make someone happy as sad as it was. After some contemplation, she finally said, “I think that whenever the people we love are ready to accept our support, we help by just being there. Remind them that you love them until then.”

“I understand that.” Milo said quietly. He would never pretend to understand the depth of her pain, but he knew what it was like to not feel good enough. To feel as though you should be more, you should be doing more. He tried to ignore the voice in his head that liked to remind him he was a burden. In fact, he’d grown surprisingly adept at doing so over the years. But maybe Ariana wasn’t as well practised. Maybe she still listened to the voice in her head. “I bet if you asked them, they wouldn’t want better if it meant not having you.” He pointed out, seeing her relax again as they moved on from the topic. “Hey, we should write a book… a collection of life hacks for werewolves, and vampires.” He teased, secretly wishing such a book was already in existence. It would undoubtedly make his life a lot easier to endure. “You could add this recipe to a zombie chapter.” Smiling, amused by her observation, he realised she was technically right. If going back to being human would feel strange, and disorientating, then being a vampire was his normal. He had finally reached a point where he was able to confidently say he couldn’t imagine being anything else. He was used to it. To the routine, the strange new demands of his body. Pushing aside the pang of sadness, the part of himself that was still mourning his death, it felt like a cause for celebration. A milestone that shouldn’t be ignored. “Shit, I guess it does.” He grinned, unable to hide his excitement. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to say that…” As quickly as his mood began to soar, he was reminded of Silas, of the reason behind their baking venture, and he turned his attention back to the pie. His smile faltered, but he refused to let it fade entirely.

“They got along fine before me…” He explained, wishing he knew more about their history together. Maybe it would give him more of an insight into why they couldn’t stop arguing. “It’s whatever, it’s their issue. I just don’t like being caught in the middle of it.” He sighed, chewing on his bottom lip as he attempted to organise his thoughts. Ariana’s silence didn’t go unnoticed, and he waited for her to speak, knowing she was carefully considering her words. He couldn’t blame her. It was a complicated question, one he definitely didn’t know the answer to. When she finally did respond, she only confirmed what he already knew. What he was already determined to do. “I try.” He admitted, not allowing himself to dwell on recent events. “I try to show him what he’s worth to me, I do everything I can. But he has to be the one to believe it, and it’s so hard having no control over that. I could make all of the loving gestures in the world and…” He frowned, his expression finally clouding over. “Forget it. The pie is good. I’ll start with the pie. After that… I don’t know… it’ll be okay. It has to be. Am I an idiot for trying to convince myself of that?”

“Yeah, I know you’re right,” Ari agreed quietly. She was trying so hard to be the person people needed her to be. If she couldn’t be anything else for herself right now, she could at least do that. It was the only thing that was keeping her head above water as she struggled to keep her head above water in the guilt she was drowning in. Kitty and Kyle wouldn’t want someone better if it meant not having her. She repeated it to herself in her head a few more times. “Thanks, Milo,” she finally said after a moment of quiet. The pie was in the oven and she found her hands itching for the repetitive motions. Instead, she lazily wiped the counter top to get rid of some of the flour. She cracked the smile at the idea of a guide. “You know, that’s actually not a bad idea. It could be helpful to people,” she said, perking back up a bit, “I’ll have to work on some more recipes.”

It was good to be there to see Milo coming to that realization. That somewhere along the line that being a vampire became his new normal instead of some big scary thing. It gave Ari a sense of hope. If Milo could get thrown into this crazy supernatural world and eventually find his way, maybe she could help Kitty and Kyle find that too. Maybe she could finally start to feel at ease with everything too. “I’m glad you get to say that now,” she told him with a smile.

“For your sake, I hope they learn to get along,” Ari remarked. She wanted things to be easier for her friend. Being caught in the middle of two people you loved was hard. It left you feeling torn, like there was no possible right choice that didn’t hurt someone. No, Milo deserved peace. She frowned as he spoke about his boyfriend. It hit too close to home but in the other direction. Sometimes knowing someone loved you just wasn’t enough. Knowing people loved her wasn’t enough to make her like herself and she didn’t have some magical answer for Milo who just had so much love to give. She hoped that maybe that could bring some light to his boyfriend, maybe take things in a happier direction for both of them. She squeezed Milo’s shoulder. “I know,” she whispered. She felt her throat tighten, but she pushed through the feeling and breathed. “You want to be able to make things better for him, but sometimes things are just too heavy or dark for that. Especially in a place like that. It can be hard to see yourself the way others see you, to see the good others swear they see. And if he’s never able to see how much you love him and that he deserves that love, that’s not on you. You can’t make someone love themselves.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Milo insisted, partially out of habit. It was difficult not to lean into that response when so many people in his life were fae, or at the very least wary of fae. But he also meant what he said, it was honest, just a simple fact of life. He intended to assure Ariana, but there really was no need to thank him for an observation. Grinning when she decided she liked his idea, he stopped seeing it as a joke, and started considering the benefits of a book. A physical collection of cheat codes to help people navigate their life as a member of the supernatural. If anybody was qualified to write something like that, it had to be him. And Ariana had so much experience with new wolves, she had plenty of wisdom she could share. “Maybe we should actually write one.” He mused. “I have an old notebook full of questions I wrote down to ask the vampire who first helped me figure this shit out… that feels like a good place to start. I don’t know where it is, but I can find it.” The questions he had gathered for Harsh were probably questions on the mind of every vampire new to being undead. He would have paid money for a printed list of in depth explanations… jeez, he would still pay money for one if he was being entirely honest. It could become a valuable resource, a way to ease the transition. “A recipe section would be fun, but only if the names of the dishes are puns, obviously.” His smile growing when Ariana seemed to acknowledge the importance of his statement, it felt good to know she understood the significance of his breakthrough, especially without him having to tell her. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to dissect it. “Me too.” He agreed. “It’s taken a long time to get here… I guess I was making progress without even noticing.”

Humming quietly in agreement, he couldn’t picture a future where Silas, and Metzli became friends, but maybe one where they tolerated each other. It was kind of sad to think that was the best he could hope for in this situation, though he could worry about that at a later date. Silas had a lot going on, and he needed to be there for him. The way he felt about Metzli could wait. Moving to look at the pie in the oven, the smell of pastry was already beginning to fill the room. As frustrating as it was, being able to enjoy the smell and not the taste that accompanied it, he felt a spark of hope. Despite his anger, and the bitter motivation behind the pie, the gesture might be somewhat appreciated. It was one of care, and affection, even if those things came alongside a degree of negativity. He was constantly shifting between anger, and hurt. Unsure whether to approach Silas with sharp edges, or the soft nature he was undeniably used to. He would decide on the day, he would decide when he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, and carefully gauged what he saw in them. Swallowing his emotion, Ariana’s words left him feeling raw, and helpless. Because he knew she was right. He couldn’t force Silas to love himself, or believe that he was worthy of affection. He couldn’t force him to see the value in staying alive, even for the people who cared about him. And he couldn’t be enough, he was never going to be enough. But he refused to let go of his hope. Maybe he couldn’t get through to him, maybe Emilio couldn’t. Together, though, they might stand a chance. “I know…” He murmured, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “But I have to try.”

#c:ariana #ariana and milo #alcohol mention tw #very brief

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grapevineatl · 3 years ago

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We heard it through the Grape Vine 001

Trigger Warning: Mentions of potential domestic violence situations, drug use and selling. Also, to have your character's name removed from the grapevine page for good, write in and we'll work right on that.

Now, would it even be Atlanta if there wasn't some tale about a good time in Magic City? Drinks were coming in constant rotation, they were even smoking in the establishment, ratchet fun at it's best. Some were a little sloppy, Amora, but we won't go too much into that. However, we could definitely ask how she's holding up since according to our sources here at The Grape Vine, her ex boyfriend Malakai stopped by her place and decided to shake her up by the wig a bit and no, and not one hand on neck, one hand on frontal. Like we would have all hoped. It was more so one hand on neck the other upside her head, but if she likes it, we love it chile because he definitely didn't bother leaving afterwards or so we heard. Either one of yall want to clear that up for us? Twitter seems to be the perfect outlet to let us know just what type of time someone is on. Whether it's Cree and Paris on the timeline crying because...., well who knows exactly. Men sometimes just need to cry on social media. Look at Tyrese Gibson! And he's perfectly fine. We support the #ManChildCoalition. Keep thriving fellas! Whew, if that wasn't enough Joaquin and Shiloh let all the claws out, girl. What happened with that? Last time we heard about anything, they had the potential to be cute. Whenever he wasn't dropping off dick to his customers. Or is it...drugs that he sell? We don't know! He was sure sniffing around the very girl he tried to dismiss on the timeline though. Now granted, he hoe "Works" so much that it was rare, but its the thought that counts, right. We would ask the women our sources said he was linked to, but the Grape Vine is a small budding business, and we would have been out numbered, we know how to pick our battles. No shade. Our good sis Shiloh ultimately said she don't know that man and Mr. Joaquin was in his feelings about it. We are sure Cree and Paris are taking applications for the #MCC (Man child coalition for the cute but challenged ones who wouldn't have got it). If that wasn't enough Mr. Ira, you know, the guy with a grown son and then a baby mama who probably went to school with the grown son. He spent so much time shading his baby mother and now they are glued at the hip. Are yall a family unit or no? Feel free to clear this up. Or not, I doubt any of us at the grapevine would care that much. What we do want to clear up is Hassan's random little "You're not playing me" tweet in the middle of the mess? What was the reason! (Cardi B voice) If "I wanna be down" was a person, because from the way we heard he be juggling the ladies.. maybe someone should be telling him that. The people want to know, who was the jab at! Speaking of people who portray one persona online and a different one in the trenches chile. Storm, we thought you always get your way. Is that why we heard about Jeremiah sneaking out your house after putting you to sleep? And he didn't use a lullaby chile.. ALLEGEDLY. Either way, don't be ashamed, we've all got smashed and then kicked to the curb. Maybe not, "we all"... but you FOR SURE. Kezziah..how that Rita Ora song go about being a wild one, we heard you were a realllll wild one girly. Teach Storm your ways. He's gonna need it. Now we have to make like those twins.. Amora's bottom lip, Joaquin's hoe schedule, Kezziah on a man.. if you don't get it by now.. we gotta split. Yall be easy out here. Keep the grape vine, grape vining.

#grapevinetales

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parkersharthook · 4 years ago

Text

Love For All

Peter Stark-Rogers & Stark-Rogers!reader (twins)

warnings: mentions of drinking/being drunk, pretty fluffy

1.8k+ words

series masterlist

a/n: happy pride month (lol I queued this in february just so I didn’t forget to post it) anyways im bi and pls know my page is a safe space for everyone 💗💜💙

Fluffy piece where Tony and Steve are chosen as the grand marshalls for the pride parade and it becomes a family affair.

“this just in, you all officially have the coolest dads in history!” Tony bellowed as he dramatically entered the common space, Steve right behind him with a plethora of eye rolls.

Right as you were about to protest, Bucky chimed in, “neither of you are my father.”

“with the way I’ve saved your sorry ass? Might as well be.”

“saved my sorry ass? Oh Stevie, have you forgotten who pulled your ass out of every back alley fight you got into? Or have the years 1932 to 1941.”

“I did not start a fight in 1932!” Steve argued back, hands placed firmly on his hips.

“bullshit! 5 years old, playground 2 blocks over, Arthur Williams.”

Steve frowned slightly, “damn I forgot about that.”

Beside you Peter snorted, “you got into a fight when you were 5?”

“Wow darling, you came out of the womb with righteous indignation didn’t you?” Tony added with a small smirk as he moved to rest against the back of the couch.

Steve threw his hands up in defeat, “oh haha laugh it up. Yes I’m old, yes I’m stubborn. Can we please just go back to how we’re cool?”

“Wait before that, back to the ‘not my fathers thing’ does this mean you see yourselves as the team fathers? Because if you’re adopting more people, I want in!” Clint said cheerfully.

“Sorry we capped out at four.”

You stuck your tongue out at Clint with a little ‘ha ha’ because you were mature like that. “anyways… why do you think you are the coolest dads? I wanna get my rebuttal in soon.”

Tony bopped the back of your head playfully as he dropped a very rainbow piece of paper into your lap. Peter instantly leaned into your space to read it. You pushed him back with a shove to the forehead. “relax nerd I’m gonna read it out loud.”

“hurry up I’m getting antsy.” You threw an unimpressed look at Clint who had practically crawled into Bucky’s lap to get closer, not that Bucky minded.

“Chill.” You smoothed out the paper and held it up, “All hail the next Grand Marshals of NYC Pride, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. We are happy to formally announce the two superheroes and super husbands as our fearless leaders of the float parade this year.”

“That’s the public announcement they put out, turn it over to read the letter they sent us.”

“Dear Mr. Anthony and Steven Stark-Rogers, we are so excited to welcome you into our NYC Pride Parade family. As this year’s appointed Grand Marshals it is both our duty and pleasure to pass the Pride Baton over to you. Included in this letter you will find the rules and expectations of our Grand Marshals, as well as what is permitted for first floats. We would love if you extended this invitation to your entire circle of family and friends to join you in the parade and on your float.”

You put the paper down and tilted your head back to stare at your dad, “you? Grand Marshal? Really?”

“What’s so shocking about that?”

“umm…. You’re old and not cool.”

Bucky sputtered a laugh beside you as Tony bopped you on the head again.

“Was this your way of telling us to come to pride with you?” Peter asked.

Steve shook his head as he flopped into a nearby loveseat, “actually this was our way of telling you that we need your help coming up with ideas for the float and how to decorate it. But of course we want you to join us on the float, we’ll be inviting the rest of the team as well.”

“I’ll help decorate but Bi-derman is making another appearance this year.”

Tony slapped his forehead, “can you take your old suit at least? The paint was a bitch to get off last time.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “the old suit chafes.”

You grimaced, “I hate this conversation.”

“I think you should do a dog themed float, Lucky can be our mascot.”

Bucky sighed, “of course that’s your suggestion.”

“what about the history of pride? Recognizing the Stonewall Riots and the two black transgender females that started it all. Plus then we can also advocate for Black Lives Matter. Make it clear that to support one, you have to support the other. Educate and entertain.”

Tony smiled, “that’s not a bad idea y/n.”

Steve looked at you with hopeful eyes, “are you willing to help organize and coordinate?”

“can I invite friends to help?”

“yes.”

You smiled, “then yes.”

------

“when I said organize and coordinate, I didn’t mean take over the conference room we use regularly for avengers meetings.” Steve said with a deep sigh

“it’s the only one with a vending machine.” MJ helpfully pointed out, taking another large bite of her pizza slice.

“yeah it was the only way to get Clint to sit through meetings without leaving to get food.” Steve explained as he stepped into the room and took in the large array of papers everywhere. The four teenage girls that occupied the room were all busy with one thing or another, looking intense and determined.

MJ snorted, “figures.” Her hand ghosted over the page again, dragging the pencil with it and creating another addition to her sketch.

Steve’s brow furrowed for a moment and he took a step closer to get a better look, “is that me?”

MJ nodded coolly but offered no other explanation. Betty huffed a laugh, “we’re trying to design both you and Mr. Stark crown-like head pieces.”

“crowns?”

You rolled your eyes, “Pops, you really do only hear what you wanna hear. Crown-like head pieces. I know dad would go for a full ass crown but I knew you wouldn’t and we want you two to match.”

Steve studied the photos of celebrities that were projected on the wall. “and that?”

“The 2018 Met Gala. Theme: heavenly bodies. There were a bunch of great head pieces that night, we’re using it for inspiration.” Gwen supplied, “let us know if there’s any you like.”

“I wanna go in a Cardi B direction.” You stated without taking your eyes off your computer screen, you’ve obviously already committed every possible headpiece to memory.

“don’t taint his selection with bias!” Betty cried

MJ waved her off easily, “there’s no way he knows who Cardi B is.”

“thanks for the confidence MJ.” She just smiled cheekily at him.

“I think he should choose something like what Frances McDormand was wearing.” Gwen stated with a small smile

MJ laughed, “as much as I think that would look amazing, there’s no way he’s picking that.”

“who’s this?”

You barely had to glance at the photo to recognize the red and gold dress and of course the iconic headpiece, “Black Lively.”

“Okay well I like that, it’s simple.”

“what about…” Gwen drawled as she typed something and new photo, a larger one, took over the whole wall, “Something like SZA’s?”

Steve took a step back and grimaced slightly, “it’s kinda… big.”

“But if it were smaller?” Gwen pressed politely

“I suppose.” Steve glanced around at the four girls. “You guys have a lot of stuff planned.”

“Oh yeah.” You looked up with a big grin, meeting your dad’s eye. “It’s gonna be great.”

“You’re not designing us costumes too are you?”

“Well Tony specifically said not too and that he already had something planned.” MJ said before eyeing Steve up and down with the critical eye of an artist, “But we could design something if you wanted us too.”

“No, I kinda of already have a plan too.”

You rose a questioning brow, “oh yeah? Please tell me you’re not going to be wearing something boring.”

Steve rolled his eyes at you and obnoxiously bumped his hip into your side as he walked out, “I’m not clueless on how to dress for Pride. Plus, I like dressing up for it, it’s fun. And it’s not something we got to do back then. I’m planning on taking full advantage.” And with that he walked out dramatically and closed the door.

Betty laughed slightly, “ten bucks that he paints the shield.”

Gwen shook his head, “No way. I think he’s gonna wear one of the flags as a cape.”

MJ clicked her tongue, “I know for a fact he’ll be wearing his ‘trans rights are human rights’ shirt.” Pause. “and probably his rainbow pants.”

You looked at MJ with a perplexed expression, “why do you know about my dad’s rainbow pants?”

MJ smirked slightly, “he wore them to pride a few years ago. Plus, me and peter talk about things. You’re not the only Stark-Rogers twin I hang out with.”

Gwen obnoxiously nudged Betty with her elbow and a large wink, “Oh yeah… she talks to Peter.” MJ scowled at the two as you snickered behind your hand.

MJ grumbled slightly, “let’s just get back to work.” It was silent in the room until the three other girls heard MJ mumble, “I never have to deal with this at college.”

You burst into a fit of laughter.

------

Pride was without a doubt a 100% success.

The float looked great. The area had already been swept for trouble. One Grand Marshal was moderately drunk. And Everyone was dancing and partying. Perfect.

Even the float attendees looked great. Clint was the brightest of the all. With no shirt on, glitter all over his chest, a rainbow tutu around his hips, tight purple booty shorts underneath, knee high socks with the pan pride flag on them, plus his signature purple converse… he looked good.

You’ve been snickering every time you catch Bucky not so subtlety looking Clint up and down. But that being said, Clint was doing the same to Bucky because he had someone managed to get the stoic and whiney super soldier into a rainbow button down. Nothing else, as that wasn’t Bucky’s jam. He paired the shirt with simple jeans but you were sure that he would be covered with glitter later.

Peter had been swinging around the parade, his first Stark suit now painted a vibrant pink, purple, and blue. Plus there was a large, messily painted on heart over where the spider sat in the middle of his chest.

You and all your friends had taken up the dance floor on the float, and if you said so yourself, you all were killing the dance moves.

Tony was more than tipsy because Bruce was on babysitting duty tonight for Morgan, so he let himself go and lean heavily against his husband, who just grinned at him all lovingly.

In the end, it was a good day. You threw beads and candy to the crowd, joining them at times for drinks and dance parties. You laughed endlessly with your friends and your family. And yeah… it was a good day.

Plus, all your friends had been correct.

Steve wore his trans shirt in solidarity with the ongoing movements and the float.

He wore his rainbow pants because they were “super fashionable y/n” and to support everyone.

He painted his shield purple, blue, and pink to show off his own sexuality and support Peter.

And he had a pansexual flag tied around his neck to match with Tony’s pink, yellow, and blue shirt.

He looked great.

#marvel #spiderman #reader #peter stark rogers #peter parker #superfamily #reader insert #peter parker & reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #superfamily fanfiction #superfamily imagine #reader fanfiction #reader imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #stark!reader #stark-rogers!reader #emma writes

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floggingink · 4 years ago

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OH HERE WE GO LADIES IT’S RIVERDALE, CHAPTER EIGHTY: “Purgatorio”

I’m tuning in to be VERY entertained on the grounds that I missed almost the entirety of S4 and will not understand anything

we open with an incredible analogue comparing the football team to the Army, as men do construct rituals: football players get blown into the sky, etc., in a heartrending mash-up of Archie’s innocence + the American ideal/expectations/pipeline of masculinity

Archie Company is decked out appropriately to storm Hürtgen Forest

that art direction trope where a character’s hearing goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEE after an explosion……...delightful

the Vixens and friends cheering him on from the sidelines as if Archie can only process his unprocessable present through the lens of his past………...hits the spot

distressingly wood-based rifles for our purposes

Archie > Dawson: I don’t mind telling you I felt emotion upon Archie hoisting his war buddy over his shoulders to that quadruple-toned “Chivalric Archie Using His Strength for Good” tune, like when he broke his whole hand busting Cheryl out of Sweetwater River

WHEN HE SAW HIRAM LODGE, I’M TELLING YOU!

Hiram’s dragon-scale gloves? absolutely savory; he would

“Yonkers” is one of those New York place names I don’t totally buy is real (Poughkeepsie is another)

the sepia-toned light in this hospital room rings true judging by all the Captain America fanfiction I’ve read; I also like the mint-colored hand towels draped on Archie’s bedframe bought, one assumes, using the Department of Defense’s Kohl’s Cash

Archie made Sergeant, which is the best ranking for a fictional character: important enough that they can be a leader, get into trouble; low-profile enough that you don’t have to write them in the room making terrible decisions; probably won’t die immediately, as a Captain or Private might be

Fifth period is AP English: Archie reads A Farewell to Arms to Corporal Jackson, a WWI novel by Hemingway that Jug definitely turned him onto

Christ, Archie looks good in that on-leave jacket thing

I like Jackson’s subtle graph paper-print hospital gown

Gay?!: was Jackson in love with Archie? is he gonna bus to Riverdale once he’s off his pain meds? RAS, is that you in there?

God you know I love that haunted-ass Exorcist wooden bench bus light lighting

how long has the WW been relocated under Pop’s??? I do NOT know what happened to La Bonne Nuit

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Fangs’ hair? his Tony Stark glasses? the girls’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” Burmese pythons? Toni’s headdress and immaculate glossed lip?

Sixth period is Intro to Film: the only part of From Dusk till Dawn I’ve seen is Salma Hayek putting her toe in Quentin Tarantino’s mouth but judging from that I figure I’d like the rest

The female gaze: Jesus Sweet Pea still looks good

Toni’s stage is flanked by twin pillars of melting candles and I would like someone to track those down for my bathroom

if they lay one hand on Pop Tate…

Betty appears to be, on her own, running the FBI training course. Betty is such a freak

Betty’s FBI-appointed psychologist is “Dr. Starling,” wears a great yellow blouse; Betty eats what appears to be a mini-sized Milky Way

her blond FBI trainer-boyfriend (uh) Glen appears to be an unholy fusion of Jimmi Simpson and that one actor with brown hair and really sharp light eyes whose acting credits I can’t think of right now, you know who I’m talking about (not the guy from Vampire Diaries)

I quite like her patterned blouse and I hate his yellow (gold?!) and blue tie

Please protect Betty: obviously we stan the Silence of the Lambs shit even as it remains infuriating Bryan Fuller couldn’t get his hands in it

Betty’s cat’s crying was so disturbingly baby-like that I had to leave the room once I realized it was in fact a cat

I’ve watched the Elisa Lam tape too many times in recent hours to handle this hallway shot

REALLY GROSS LICKING NOISES

the Trash Bag Killer coming at her was scary :(

Betty’s lovely blue knit cardi with the puffed sleeves!

50 Shades of Betty: clearing her throat before the doctor quite finishes her sentence—Lili Reinhart continues to be great at conveying “slightly perturbing subterranean tension”

was Charles a serial killer too??? oh damn!

Betty has been successfully holding off giving Glen a key to her place until now, an era that must come to a close

fellas, “Do I at least get a kiss?” is a bad move

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s new digs: exposed brick, bougiely avant-garde chandelier; possibly an elevator door right there behind the dude?

Veronica has married Hiram, to no one’s surprise

Chadwick looks like Jimmi Simpson and brunet Evan Peters plus a jaw

Veronica’s single-puffled-sleeved gown…..madamn (she has absolutely been taking secret birth control pills)

Summer + Blair = Veronica: of course Veronica would be great at Howard Ratner’s job; I MUST know what “specialty showcase haute couture offense” Vinnie has committed

T-Dubbs’ green jacket

Veronica pretended she was working at like, a department store? but she MISSED the EDGE post-day-trading

their apartment is so expensive that their bedroom is totally exposed

oh my god, Hermione

Best costume bit: please get me these satiny green high-waisted slacks?! and ugh her blouse has shoulder tassels……..she’s flourishing

“That’s threatening to an alpha like Chad.”

yes, they have a private elevator. fine.

Glen and Chad get their ties from the same Men’s Warehouse

“When that helicopter went down on the way to Martha’s Vineyard…”

you know kissing is 4-real when one person cups their hand to the back of the other person’s neck all close

I don’t understand the drop of the Glamergé egg but I appreciate that there is one and that Veronica is like, get this the fuck out of my house

Veronica’s shiny cropped tweed two-piece, Yvonne’s weird feathery coat that matches her bf’s shirt (you know she’s supposed to be “too much” because she’s got big hoop earrings)

God, Jughead is next and I’m not gonna be able to handle it

OH GOD IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT

Alphabet City?! the piano?? the fucking East Coast Beat typewriter shit—the day robe? I’m—READING CLUBMASTERS? FORSYTHE???

OH GOD HE’S DATING ANOTHER WRITER (she has nice pants)

Jughead eats: “that place you like” is a HOT DOG STAND in the middle of SOME GRASS

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead wears high-ankle light blue jeans, grey socks, and spectators that blend to create the illusion of wading boots. I’m going to commit a crime

Jughead doubts it: “So did Kerouac. And Hemingway. And Fitzgerald.”

fuck yes I love Floundering Jughead, and his Pushy Agent who pronounces “career” like “Korea,” and the continuing tradition of Jughead getting kicked out of his house

I like Literary Grifter’s sweater

the Brat Pack, and most of the Rat Pack for that matter, were actors, but I assume RAS couldn’t resist the rhyme

I was 100% afraid we were about to learn Cora was an uncomfortably-young undergrad

the musical cue as she reaches into her bag is absolutely as if she’s taking out a gun, and it might as well be! it’s the scariest thing in NYC: an unpublished manuscript

showrunners doing a classic I Love Lucy job partially concealing Vanessa Morgan’s pregnancy via medium close-ups, draping black clothes

Cheryl slowly turning to ask if doesn’t she look okay 10/10 icon

Cheryl’s pins: she has either a tiny spider or maybe a tick

Cheryl’s sheaths: the lacy red thing, amazing

why is Cheryl’s left hand gloved?

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl’s going to forge a Rembrandt, which unfortunately means she’s my favorite person on the planet (she does not look happy about doing this)

btw is Nana Rose an Immortal?

please tell me about Toni’s eyelashes

EXTREMELY HAUNTED DOLL?!

“Damn good coffee”: Archie’s earnest “Where are people gonna sit for the bus?” slayed me

fuck YEAH Ghoulies party house! terrible music but really good skull spray paint art

Jug looks LOW lol

Veronica’s blouse + buttons, impeccable

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Tabitha/Squeaky

the hellscape semi’s red backlighting and its skeleton’s red eyes

I like Linette’s glossy bomber!

the trucker who’s about to kill her can’t also be the Trash Bag Killer….truckers have to stick to too much of a schedule….but he could be Betty’s meandering serial

I loved this episode

NEXT WEEK: Archie brings the FBI down on some people paying their rent :(

#riverdale #i say #commentary #tropes

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