#TNYJ(19)

[tnyj-4]

SY_1 - S-R_1 - Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum (2023) (Link In Description).

Release: 29/12/23.

Year: 2023.

Period: TNYJ-4.

Age: TNYJ(18) - TNYJ(19).

Genres: Drone, Harsh Noise, Supertone, Infinitesimal Slow Music, Suizidcore, Field Recording, Glitch, Soundtrack, Smashsynth, Kellersynth, Raw Black Metal, Witch House, Noise, Speedcore, Terrorcore, Industrial, Experimental, Splittercore, Extratone, Hypertone, Vocal Drone, Ambient, Breakcore, Techno, Drone, Dark Ambient, Vaporwave, Depressive Doomcore, Depressive Speedcore, Depressive Slowcore, Schranz, Doomcore, Slowcore, Powernoise, Terrorcore, Drycore, Electronic, Extradrone, Dance, Gabber, Chaos Drone, Dark Drone, Metal, Depressive, Industrial Metal, Pop, Trance, Dark Rave, Sad Glitch, Raw Data, Dark Extratone, Rock, Rap, Industrial Hardcore, Drum and Bass, Jungle, Vocal Glitch, Inframbient, Depressive Drone, Synthwave, Chillout, Piano, Strokeline, Extreme Hypertone.

Tracklist:

0: Spectralon - First Year.

1: Spectralon - First Year (Hades Vortexium Remix).

2: Darkblack XIII - Ansia (Act VII) (Omega Buio).

3: Phantom Vibrations - The Speed Of Xenon-124 (1.8037769768673402063092834121964e-100 BPM).

4: Darkblack XIII - Ansia 666.

5: Datasmr - ReCorrupted 2(023).

6: Missie 1/2 - Passion.

7: Exp_23:25 - Secret Intelligence.

8: Exp_23:25 ft. Blvck Hypertone - Speed Of Virus.

9: ###0### - A.

10: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣 - ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔶 𝔬𝔴𝔫 ℭ𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔢.

11: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔇𝔢𝔫 𝔚𝔞𝔩𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔲𝔢𝔱𝔷𝔢𝔫𝔡, 𝔱𝔬𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔱 𝔢𝔰 𝔍𝔢𝔡𝔢𝔫...-

12: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - ℜ𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔱𝔬 ℭ𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔗𝔢𝔲𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔰𝔟𝔲𝔯𝔤.

13: BLVCK CEILING - Close.

14: Nihil Fist - Path Of Escalation.

15: KGBKid - Junglist Duality (Hard Version).

16: 𝔏𝔢𝔦𝔠𝔥𝔫𝔞𝔪, 𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔊𝔢𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔱𝔢 - 𝔏𝔢𝔦𝔠𝔥𝔫𝔞𝔪 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞

17: ℜ𝔲𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔱 ♘ 𝟒���𝟎𝟎 - ♤𝔅𝔬𝔩𝔱𝔷𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔥𝔶𝔯𝔫♧.

18: Bullenhuser Damm - Fighting The Monster Inside Ourselves.

19: Bullenhuser Damm - Always Keep Me (EgOi X DF).

20: Bullenhuser Damm - George Harvey's Roses (EgOi X Darkblack XIII).

21: Melondruie - Padded Room (Disquiet0473).

22: Ray_Cobley - Subdermal Layers (Disquiet0473).

23: Xryxix - Winter Is All Over You (Dark Ambient Mix by Noiziatrics).

24: Noiziatrics - Screams From The Factory.

25: Casio Brothers - Wonderground (D1stD3vil's Remix).

26: Tony Igy - Astronomia (D1stD3vil's Remix).

27: ID - Depersonalisation.

28: Origin Of Styx - Creeping.

29: ::: - Sparkad.

30: Hecatonchires - Condemned.

31: ###0### - Congoglitch.

32: TNYJ, Vortex Reaper and Vantablack - The Darkness Intensifies.

33: Hades Vortexium - I Can See Right Through You And Your Facade, You Lying, Deceitful Fucking Pretender!

34: Jazzwave - Manic.

35: Dreamcorp - Sleep.

36: LSD Dream Emulator Music: Bright Moon Cottage - Ambient A.

37: Satin Sheets - Summer Storm Romance.

38: Darkblack XIII - A Beautiful Nightmare.

39: Satin Sheets - Air 98.

40: Hyperchaos - The Wider World.

41: Hyperchaos - He Who Carries The World's Weight On His Shoulders.

42: REM - The Third Echo From Childhood.

43: Parnax - Small Parts Of A Great Whole.

44: Pardonax - Sedative.

45: Pardonax - Heart Beats.

46: Pardonax - The Memory Remains.

47: Hades Vortexium - The Endgame (Act 0).

48: Vantablack - The Endgame (Act 1).

49: Vantablack, Herja Sonus and Tristitia - The Endgame (Act 2).

50: Herja Sonus - The Endgame (Act 3).

51: REM & Herja Sonus - TNYJ-2 - TNYJ-3 Reminiscence.

52: REM & Herja Sonus - The Old Traumas.

53: REM - The Fifth Echo From Childhood.

54: REM - Dissociation Via Watching TV Programmes (The Sixth Echo From Childhood).

55: REM - The Eighth Echo From Childhood.

56: REM - The Conscious Desire For Innocence (The Tenth Echo From Childhood).

57: REM & Herja Sonus - The Old Traumas (Part 2).

58: REM & Herja Sonus - The Old Traumas (Part 3).

59: Vito - Polozhenie (Metal Remix) (Slowed).

60: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔖𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔠𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯'𝔰 𝔍𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔶.

61: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔞𝔩 𝔙𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶.

62: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔊𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔫𝔨.

63: CKNOWN - No Break = No Beat.

64: CKNOWN - Maybe I'm Dreaming.

65: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔖𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔶𝔱𝔱 (𝔅𝔲𝔯𝔷𝔲𝔪 "𝔚𝔞𝔯" ℭ𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯).

66: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔙𝔦𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔟𝔢𝔶𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔰 𝔎𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔷𝔢.

67: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔙𝔢𝔯𝔭𝔬ͤ𝔫𝔱𝔢 ℌ𝔢𝔵𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔶.

68: 𝔊𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 - 𝔐𝔢𝔦𝔫 𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔦𝔪 ℌ𝔶𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔩.

69: 𝐑𝐮𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐭 𝟒𝟓𝟎𝟎 - 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐮𝐳𝐞 𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐡...

70: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣 - 𝔘𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔤��𝔢𝔦𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔫: 𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔉𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔢.

71: ✠𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣✠ - ☽ 𝔏𝔲𝔷𝔦𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔷 𝔞𝔲𝔣 𝔡𝔦𝔢 𝔈𝔯𝔡𝔢 ☾ 【ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔡】.

72: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣 - 𝔏𝔲𝔷𝔦𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔷 𝔞𝔲𝔣 𝔡𝔦𝔢 𝔈𝔯𝔡𝔢 𝟑: 𝔇𝔢𝔯 𝔘𝔯𝔨𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔩.

73: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣 - 𝔑𝔬𝔰𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔲 𝔗𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱.

74: 𝔅𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔢̈𝔫𝔬𝔱 - 𝔗𝔞̈𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔩𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔲𝔯𝔠𝔥 𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔚𝔞𝔩𝔡 𝔡𝔢𝔰 𝔐𝔞𝔩𝔷𝔟𝔦𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔰.

75: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔣 - 𝔙𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔪 𝔬𝔣 ℑ𝔩𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫.

76: ℜ𝔲𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔱 𝟒𝟓𝟎𝟎 - 𝔅𝔩𝔲𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔠𝔥

77: ℜ𝔲𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔱 𝟒𝟓𝟎𝟎 - 𝔗𝔬𝔱𝔞𝔩 𝔄𝔠𝔦𝔡 𝔗𝔯𝔦𝔲𝔪𝔭𝔥 𝟐: 𝔙𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢´𝔰 𝔎𝔦𝔰𝔰.

78: ℜ𝔲𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔱 𝟒𝟓𝟎𝟎 - 𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔗𝔯𝔦𝔭.

79: 𝔖𝔠𝔥𝔞̈𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔡 - 𝔗𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔞 𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔉𝔲𝔤𝔲𝔢【𝔅𝔞𝔠𝔥 ℭ𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯】.

80: TNYJ, Vortex Reaper and Herja Sonus - Free Reign.

81: TNYJ and Spectralon - Finding Myself.

82: ::: - Sick of digit.world;(

83: TNYJ & Vortex Reaper - The Last Goodbye (Of 13 Years) (Ft. Hades Vortexium, Herja Sonus, Cruciatus and Datasmr).

84: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act II).

85: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act VIII).

86: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act X).

87: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXII).

88: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXIII).

89: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXIV).

90: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXV).

91: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXVII).

92: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXVII) (X2 Edit).

93: Q-Hate - Misunderstood Worldwide.

94: Q-Hate - The Modern World.

95: M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea.

96: Vortex Reaper, Vantablack and Tristitia - Degradation (Act 2).

97: Datasmr and Tristitia - The Realities Of Life (Sad Glitch Piece).

98: Herja Sonus - The Death Of Innocence Due To Overexposure To Reality.

99: Cruciatus - Death Of FAW (2009 - 2019 Mix).

100: REM - Post-FAW (Act 1).

101: Tristitia - Post-FAW (Act 7).

102: Datasmr - Suction Machine 3 (2011).

103: Datasmr - Suction Machine 4 (2014)

104: My Chemical Romance - The Kids From Yesterday.

105: Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World.

106: Froggy Fresh - The Fight (Chorus Looped).

107: Darkblack XIII - Fragmented Ego.

108: Morgue - Unseen.

109: Inaccessible - Alone. (Act VI - The Last Remaining Few).

110: Q-Hate - The Modern World.

111: Whitewoods - When Cameron Was In Egypt Land.

112: Akira Yamaoka - Blank Fairy.

113: Inaccessible - Alone. (Act VI - The Last Remaining Few).

114: Hades Vortexium - Hate Yourself.

115: Cruciatus - A New Kind Of Pain.

116: Herja Sonus - Fourth Bout Of Paranoia.

117: Herja Sonus - 16/10 & 23/11.

118: Herja Sonus - Darkness VII.

119: Herja Sonus and Memorable Mistakes - Resurfacing Demons, Irrational Thinking.

120: Vortex Reaper - Longing For A Simpler Time.

121: Spectralon - You'll Be Okay.

122: George Clanton - Bleed.

123: George Clanton - Bleed (The Great Pendulum Edit By Vortex Reaper).

124: Vantablack and Tristitia - Eternal Failings (Nobody Likes You, Ever).

125: HOME - Decay.

126: HOME - Signals.

127: HOME - Phantom.

128: Chumbawamba - Tubthumping.

129: Whitewoods - ¿What Did You Say?

130: Carlos Esmeralda Jalapeño - μajesbeedle.

131: Akira Yamaoka - Promise (Reprise).

132: Herja Sonus - Incomplete (Act I).

133: Hades Vortexium - The Journey To Rediscover The Root?

134: Phantom Vibrations - TNYJ(0) - TNYJ(19).

135: Infinity Frequencies - Destiny.

136: Infinity Frequencies - Breeze.

137: Infinity Frequencies - Fracture.

138:Infinity Frequencies - Unearthed Statue.

139: Infinity Frequencies - Promises.

140: Infinity Frequencies - The Mind As A Territory.

141: Infinity Frequencies - The Room With No Door.

142: Infinity Frequencies - Closer Than Ever.

143: Infinity Frequencies - A Storm Is Coming.

144: Infinity Frequencies - Collapse.

145: Infinity Frequencies - A Vanishing Figure.

146: Infinity Frequencies - Never Forget.

147: Infinity Frequencies - Remember.

148: Infinity Frequencies - Void.

149: Infinity Frequencies - Forever.

150: Infinity Frequencies - Following.

151: Infinity Frequencies - Safety.

152: Infinity Frequencies - Entrance.

153: Hades Vortexium - %.

154: Tristitia - It All Fades Away (First Part).

155: Tristitia - It All Fades Away (Final Part).

156: Herja Sonus - Who Can I Trust?

157: Datasmr - Estrangement.

158: Herja Sonus - Being Misunderstood Again.

159: Cruciatus - And You Threw It All Away.

160: Hades Vortexium - You Failed Me, A Long Time Ago.

161: Vortex Reaper - Gone.

162: Vortex Reaper - Gone (Strokeline Mix).

163: REM - A Surreal Coincidence.

164: Vortex Reaper - Being Wholly Understood?

165: Spectralon - The Plausibility Of Coming Across A "Soulmate".

166: Deep End - You Caused This.

167: Unobtainium - The Last Quarter (Until Doomsday).

168: Infinity Frequencies - Nothing But Yourself Here.

169: Infinity Frequencies - Paths Moving Forward.

170: Infinity Frequencies - Visage.

171: Tristitia - I Never Wanted To Watch The Bridge Burn.

172: Cruciatus - Now You Can't Look Back.

173: Herja Sonus - Anxiety 3(30)3.

174: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXXI).

175: Herja Sonus - Anxiety (Act XXXII).

176: Herja Sonus - Anxiety 33333333333(...)/Anxie-3.

177: TNYJ - The Light Is Here, Yet The Uncertainty Remains.

178: Vortex Reaper - Transitioning Into Another Strange Period.

179: Vortex Reaper and Herja Sonus - It's Ending Soon, But What Remains Of The Future?

180: REM - 2023 Is But Another Weird Dream.

181: Blood Stain Child - C.E.0079.

182: Memorable Mistakes - 15/12/23.

183: Herja Sonus - Darkness VIII.

184: Unobtainium - There Isn't Much Time Left.

185: Vantablack - Time's End (Ft. Herja Sonus) (Low Quality Version)

186: Vortex Reaper - 20 Years Soon.

187: TNYJ - Times Are Changing.

Main Track: 10:42:14/10:43:25.

Info: The ninth Life Mixtape.

Yet another surreal year of a surreal life. This year, a lot of positive progress has been made. I have started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to remedy the constant self-criticism and berating, I am more outgoing and more approachable than I ever was before.

The first notably bizarre event of the year was the rediscovery of my SD Cards and recovery of their contents, which were lost in late November 2021. This all happened in late March 2023. 

The second surreal event came on July 21st and 22nd respectively. In which I left a school I had been attending for over 13 years (September 2009 - July 2023), prompting an album.

This year also had its negatives, in which the chaos from October 2022 still persisted until only recently. Another notable event of the year was a betrayal I suffered at the hands of a former close friend of mine, whom denounced the fact that I had endured abuse for most of my life at the hands of my father, calling me a "liar.". Whilst, simultaneously, I build a stronger and closer friendship with an entirely different person, which spawned its own uniquely titled album. 

Another thing I'd like to point out, on the topic of my former supposed "friend" calling me a "liar" is this: For years, I thought it was normal to be in an abusive home. Being berated, dehumanised and insulted to my face and behind my back by a supposed "father figure". It was normal, however, since the chaos from last year has well-beyond settled, I now can rationalise my feelings and realisations. Since I realised the fact that I was abused and traumatised, I began to feel a deep sense of resentment, anger and pain. As well as hatred and bitterness towards my father. These feelings have not gone away and will persist for a long while. I have a haunted past that affects me even today and it will take a while before I am strong enough to face it. That is, by seeing my father.

As such, this delightfully surreal year has got a unique name all to its own: "Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum", since it has its fair share of positive and negative experiences. Since this year is a continuance of 2022, there's a reason the word "Salvation" appears here, as that's what the mission was and currently is, for this ongoing period of my life. The words "Great" and "Pendulum" also appear here, because of how quickly my mental state would switch from being in a positive frame of mind, to a negative and depressive state, which has persisted irregularly throughout this whole entire year.

Link: SY_1 - S-R_1 - Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum (2023) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

-- TNYJ

[tnyj-3]

SY_1 - S-R_1 - Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum (2023): Complete.

View the Life Mixtape Entry here: https://archive.org/details/sy-1-s-r-1-achieving-salvation-the-great-pendulum-2023.

[tnyj]

Track 2 of 4.

This is based on the fact that I didn’t celebrate the first anniversary, due to other things going on in life.

281,190,000 (2.8119e+8) BPM

- TNYJ

[tnyj-3]

Closing.

In-depth review of Year Zero for the TNYJ-3 Remedy. - Addendum_2 - Final.

This year has been an extremely bizarre experience for me on a very personal level, due to multiple factors, the first of which being this sudden switch in my overall mindset and overall sense of absolute hope and willpower on December 30th, 2021, despite the mental devastation the year caused me. Throughout the course of this year, I have grown to attribute the sudden switch in both mindset and outlook to be the initial hope I had from very early 2020. The second reason for this is because of the very powerful drive and motivation I had during the first sixth of the year, from January to February. I was so driven to make progress that by March, I was burnt out on a physical level. Speaking of March, on March 7th, 2022, the first notable negative event occurred, where my great-grandmother, Margret Hurworth-Seal died in her sleep of sepsis at age 92. At first, I was neutral about it, until March 8th and 9th, when it really began to sink in. Due to this event, three songs were composed by each of the following aliases: Hades Vortexium, Vantablack and Spectralon. The first two composing two individual works in direct response, whilst Spectralon went on to participate in a collaborative piece between itself, Hades Vortexium and Vantablack. By late-March, things began to stagnate a little due to the massive burnout caused by overworking myself a month prior.

In April, not much worth of note occurred, other than the fact that I wanted to document my entire life in musical form.

In May, I started cataloguing the songs and sounds for my own Life Mixtapes and separated my entire life lived thus far, into five distinct phases, dubbing them “TNYJ-0”, “TNYJ-1”, “TNYJ-2”, “TNYJ-3” and “TNYJ-4” respectively. All five phases (also named “stages”) spanning all of my years lived so far. The cataloguing specifically began on May 20th, 2022 and is ongoing to this day. May was also a bizarre month for the fact that I revisited Gram’s house for the first time in over 15 years and the weirder fact that the entire place, despite the renovations taking place at the time of the revisit, it felt very familiar. The revisit was specifically on May 22nd, merely 48 hours after the initial Life Mixtape cataloguing, which also proved my now weird and bizarre depth of memory. Then on the final day of the month, May 31st, I visited my Nana’s house on my own and in the complete absence of my parents for the first time in about 16 years.

In June, nothing much happened aside from the fact that my more ““known”” Hypertone career turned 2 years old and the commitment of doing shop runs along with the occasional housework.

July was a weird month, akin to May. It was the final month at the college and the first month of having short hair for the first time in about a year. Outside of that, July was the first time I ever hung out with a close friend outside of school in over five years. At home, I (mostly) sat in my room, occasionally spending time with family and doing housework.

In August, my final ever Hypertone song as “Vortex Reaper” hit 2K views on YouTube, thanks to some kid named “DJ Jayden” sampling it in an FnF song for a mod. As a celebration of the anniversary, I did a remix EP for it and it was released on August 26th, 2022.

In September, school picked up again, and thus started “18th year - Salvation - Stage 5: Academic Continuation”. However, the one (good) thing about September is that the debut EP from my duo band project “TeaL” was completed after almost two entire months. As well as the implementation of “Phantom Vibrations”, an alias that focuses on Infinitesimal Slow Music (ISM). Then the most bizarre event of this decade so far (since the outbreak of COVID-19) happened: Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, died. It will probably be the weirdest notable event of mine and everyone else’s (who lived to *witness it (hear about it, at least)) life.

During October, the month was rather average, akin to September, until the 16th. On 16/10/22, I have experienced the biggest and most deepest blow to my mental health, mindset, motivation and my immediate family, caused by my parents separating as a result of another argument that they had in the evening of 15/10/22. Since then, I have been battling internally moreso than I ever have during this entire year. On Halloween, I went ghost hunting with my father, videoing a 6-part series to document the most memorable Halloween in quite a long while.

In November, I had the most memorable birthday in a long, long time, I got a PC, Gaming Keyboard and Mouse and TWS i12 Bluetooth earphones. I went to the pub with both my parents, having a great time! Other than my birthday, nothing much of note occurred.

This month, however, has been more eventful than the previous. By a large sum. My PC got inspected for damage after not booting up, I got it back exactly on Christmas Day, with it being both setup and reset, I started making music on it straight away. Starting the final large-scale project of my career pertaining to albums: a 404-track LP album, titled “Absence Of God”, which is still in development. Due to my PC’s lack of internet connectivity, the tracks will be released at a later date, however, they’ll still be released very early-on in the new year.

This year has been a success in regard to the intended mission heading into it, given that it was meant to be “Mission Progress” and a “Test” for the remedy’s initiation.

Next year will be better because I intend to put more work and drive into it.

- YEAR ZERO

- 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 365. - Week 52 - Day 0. - Month 12 - Week 4 - Day 3.

- CONCLUDING.

- TNYJ

[tnyj-3]

2022: 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 304 - Week 44 - Day 2 (Month 11 - Week 0 - Day 2)). - 15D-Rem.

In-depth review of Year Zero for the TNYJ-3 Remedy. - Addendum_1.

This year has been an extremely bizarre experience for me on a very personal level, due to multiple factors, the first of which being this sudden switch in my overall mindset and overall sense of absolute hope and willpower on December 30th, 2021, despite the mental devastation the year caused me. Throughout the course of this year, I have grown to attribute the sudden switch in both mindset and outlook to be the initial hope I had from very early 2020. The second reason for this is because of the very powerful drive and motivation I had during the first sixth of the year, from January to February. I was so driven to make progress that by March, I was burnt out on a physical level. Speaking of March, on March 7th, 2022, the first notable negative event occurred, where my great-grandmother, Margret Hurworth-Seal died in her sleep of sepsis at age 92. At first, I was neutral about it, until March 8th and 9th, when it really began to sink in. Due to this event, three songs were composed by each of the following aliases: Hades Vortexium, Vantablack and Spectralon. The first two composing two individual works in direct response, whilst Spectralon went on to participate in a collaborative piece between itself, Hades Vortexium and Vantablack. By late-March, things began to stagnate a little due to the massive burnout caused by overworking myself a month prior.

In April, not much worth of note occurred, other than the fact that I wanted to document my entire life in musical form.

In May, I started cataloguing the songs and sounds for my own Life Mixtapes and separated my entire life lived thus far, into five distinct phases, dubbing them “TNYJ-0”, “TNYJ-1”, “TNYJ-2”, “TNYJ-3” and “TNYJ-4” respectively. All five phases (also named “stages”) spanning all of my years lived so far. The cataloguing specifically began on May 20th, 2022 and is ongoing to this day. May was also a bizarre month for the fact that I revisited Gram’s house for the first time in over 15 years and the weirder fact that the entire place, despite the renovations taking place at the time of the revisit, it felt very familiar. The revisit was specifically on May 22nd, merely 48 hours after the initial Life Mixtape cataloguing, which also proved my now weird and bizarre depth of memory. Then on the final day of the month, May 31st, I visited my Nana’s house on my own and in the complete absence of my parents for the first time in about 16 years.

In June, nothing much happened aside from the fact that my more ““known”” Hypertone career turned 2 years old and the commitment of doing shop runs along with the occasional housework.

July was a weird month, akin to May. It was the final month at the college and the first month of having short hair for the first time in about a year. Outside of that, July was the first time I ever hung out with a close friend outside of school in over five years. At home, I (mostly) sat in my room, occasionally spending time with family and doing housework.

In August, my final ever Hypertone song as “Vortex Reaper” hit 2K views on YouTube, thanks to some kid named “DJ Jayden” sampling it in an FnF song for a mod. As a celebration of the anniversary, I did a remix EP for it and it was released on August 26th, 2022.

In September, school picked up again, and thus started “18th year - Salvation - Stage 5: Academic Continuation”. However, the one (good) thing about September is that the debut EP from my duo band project “TeaL” was completed after almost two entire months. As well as the implementation of “Phantom Vibrations”, an alias that focuses on Infinitesimal Slow Music (ISM). Then the most bizarre event of this decade so far (since the outbreak of COVID-19) happened: Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, died. It will probably be the weirdest notable event of mine and everyone else’s (who lived to *witness it (hear about it, at least)) life.

During October, the month was rather average, akin to September, until the 16th. On 16/10/22, I have experienced the biggest and most deepest blow to my mental health, mindset, motivation and my immediate family, caused by my parents separating as a result of another argument that they had in the evening of 15/10/22. Since then, I have been battling internally moreso than I ever have during this entire year. On Halloween, I went ghost hunting with my father, videoing a 6-part series to document the most memorable Halloween in quite a long while. So far, my mental health is still shit, however, the thing that’s keeping me going and searching for the pure light of hope is my upcoming birthday. The battle is still raging on, with the desire for happiness still prevalent, despite my depressive state of mind (as of 2/11/22).

Today has been a great day, despite sleeping in. I spent quite a decent amount of time chatting with my mum and did the washing up for the first time in quite a while.

There will be a final in-depth review at the end of this month, before the overall review at the end of the year.

- YEAR ZERO.

- 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 304 - Week 44 - Day 2 (Month 11 - Week 0 - Day 2)). - 15D-Rem.

- TNYJ

Next post: 21/11/22 and 30/11/22.

[tnyj-3]

18th year - Salvation - Day 302 - Week 43 - Day 6 - (Month 10 - Week 4 - Day 2): Stage 6.6: SURVIVE THE PAIN!! - CONCLUDING

This marks the end of quite possibly the hardest challenge this year has thrown me yet. The effects are not over, and neither is the real battle. But the mission this stage has set, has been completed successfully, and I am still optimistic about the rest of the year. This stage started on 16/10/22, in direct response to my parents’ separation, becoming more reinforced in the subsequent days. The countdown towards my 18th birthday (dubbed “TNYJ(18)” in terms of my musical existence (musical side of my life)) will become increasingly pronounced until 14/11/22, where the final countdown starts and the real preparations begin. There will be a whole “day of nothing” on 19/11, because it is the final day before the third and final birthday celebration (“Closing Celebrations”). Before the “Salvation” aspect picks up again on 21/11 or 22/11.

An extra thing worth of note is the fact that despite my deteriorating mental state, I am still attempting to look forward and be optimistic, in a way to deliberately spite my depressive tendencies and thoughts, of which have spiked up yet again for the third consecutive year in a row.

I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED THIS TIME!!

This year is the single most important year of my existence. No one else will EVER truly understand it, it isn’t just because I am 18, it’s because I want to craft my own happiness as well as remedy the past, gaining independence and making absolutely remarkable and unparalleled personal progress on my person and on my personality at the same time.

- 18th year - Salvation - Day 302 - Week 43 - Day 6 - (Month 10 - Week 4 - Day 2): Stage 6.6: SURVIVE THE PAIN!! - CONCLUDING.

- TNYJ

Next Post: 31/10/22 - In-depth Review of October 2022 and the update to “In-depth Review of Year Zero For The TNYJ-3 Remedy”.

[tnyj-3]

2022: 18th year - Salvation - Day 18 - (Week 2 - Day 4).

Today I have been struck by the common cold, and have felt rather ill, yet I still managed to do backbreaking work and labour for my college’s work experience at the farm today. (Ground preparation for seed sowing and planting). However, as a result of my illness, I did no housework today. :( I tried to to some form of house work but I was denied by my mum. Which is fine. As I can do it all tomorrow.

I had a great day today!

- 2022: 18th year - Salvation - Day 18 - (Week 2 - Day 4).

Following post: 2022: 18th year - Salvation - Day 19 - (Week 2 - Day 5).

- TNYJ

[tnyj]

Chapters of my life and career.

This post is a documentation of my life. From birth until current day.

I was born on November 17th, 2004 at 10:20 AM, at 52 centimetres long and weighing 1 pound and 14 ounces. I was born at 25 weeks, 15 weeks premature.

The funny thing is that, because I am a male, I could have died as a stillborn, because of my prematurity. My birth also kick-started a chapter of my life that is still ongoing, but that wasn’t named until my 14th year of life.

I went from hospital to hospital for the first half a year of my life.

I had suffered 12 respiratory arrests because the nurses were trying to get me onto CPAP, but my lungs kept failing after a few hours of being on it, so I was put on ventilator again and again. Because of this, I have a lip deformity on the right corner of my mouth. Also because of this, my windpipe itself became twisted and deformed, ironically.

On March 21st, 2005, I had the first major operation in my life, which was the Tracheostomy Operation, which was a tube in my throat to help me breathe. (I went on to have it until 2014, but that will be touched upon later.) 

Then whilst, I was Guys Hospital, in London, I contracted MRSA because a nurse inadequately washed her hands, and was contaminated with the bug. The infection would go on to spread to my skin and blood, and that would have also killed me, if it wasn’t the extra special care given to me via the staff that worked there.

Then I went to another hospital.

Then another. This time, on April 26th, 2005, being the same hospital I was born in: Maidstone Hospital.

This was my final stay at Maidstone Hospital, where I grew bigger and stronger.

Then, on May 1st, 2005, I visited my mum’s parents to meet them and other members of my family. My Grammy (Mum’s mum’s mum), had a dog named Tina. I was scared of Tina, because I have never seen a dog at that point in time, because I was in hospital for most of my life back then, and also because when compared to my size at the time, I was smaller than it, even though the dog itself was small.

Because of this, I had a fear of dogs ever since until 2012.

On May 3rd, 2005, I was finally sent home, at five months old.

In 2007 I started walking for the first time, at the age of 2, because all I had was leg muscle therapy to help support my own bodyweight standing up.

I didn’t start talking with my vocal chords until 2008, because they were frozen and literally stuck together, and I had several operations to separate them.

I spoke via Sign Language until my vocal chords were finally separated.

In 2010 was another major operation, a partial tracheal resection, where they took a small portion of my deformed windpipe (caused by the constant ventilation tubes being shoved into my throat so I literally don’t die), and replaced it with a bit of my rib cartilage.

I tested positive for MRSA until 2010, as well.

Then, from 2012 until 2014, 2018 and 2020, I had several operations where they would laser away at my deformed windpipe, and several operations where they would just put a camera down my throat to check on my airways.

In 2014, was the most life changing moment since the initial tracheostomy operation: I had the tracheostomy out for an extended period of time, for the first time in my entire life.

Then, a year later, I suffered my most recent respiratory arrest in my life, in December 2015, caused because of combined effect of the premeds (medicine you take before you have the anaesthetic) and the anaesthetic itself, which caused a severe reaction and could have killed me. I had to have the tracheostomy back for 3 days.

Then when 2016 started, the hole where the tracheostomy resided healed shut, ironically when the doctors said that it isn’t supposed to. In February, I went swimming properly for the first time in 5 years. It was genuinely fun.

Then, nearly 2 years after this, I was due yet another major operation, this one also life-changing, where I could have the tracheostomy for the rest of my life or not have it ever again. Those outcomes were out of my control, and entirely up to the surgeons and doctors.

This operation was a full tracheal resection.

They severed most of my deformed windpipe, then pulled the rest of my windpipe that was intact up and then sewed it in place.

I was put into a medically induced coma, and then put into the ICU, post-operation. Then, when I returned to school in early/mid February, I was highly focused on education, getting into GCSE Mathematics (advanced math.), ran 800m without stopping (I have bad asthma), and began self-regulating more (because I sometimes take myself out of lessons if I am really frustrated). Because of this, I achieved what I consider the best achievement in my entire school life: The Personal Progress Award. (KEEP IN MIND: I go to a special needs school, because I am mentally disabled.)

2018 was also my tenth year at this special needs school, coincidentally.

Then, 2019 rolled around, and with modern context and hindsight, is the worst year of my school and personal life.

Starting off, was mediocre, at best. It wasn’t until late 2019 that things really went to shit, because of a then unrealised tendency to fuck myself over, because of the lack of forethought, especially when I let myself be consumed by emotions. In late 2019, I had my first relationship. I felt very happy at first, but then I was deluded by love, in the sense that I let myself be taken advantage of emotionally and psychologically and being abused because of such. Especially with her having another relationship beind my back at the same exact time as her being together with me (two-timing). Looking back now it is easier to realise that it was a very shitty relationship, but I was only 15 and I didn’t know better, at all. After me and my ex broke up, I was clearly depressed as shit, because it was my very first relationship.

Then the post-breakup bullying started, where my ex would make fun of me and mock me without reason. I let the pain, anger, sadness and hate build up within me, until I snapped after putting up with it for weeks and weeks.

She mocked me for how clingy I was, and at that point I was just done with that bullshit, so I punched her face. My fist hit her glasses, then they broke and cut her face open, which I didn’t expect, due to how angry I felt.

I was lucky not to have the police called on me.

That was incident was also when I completely lost childhood innocence, as well.

Then, 2020 came along, and changed modern human history. With CoViD-19 coming along and causing a massive pandemic that is still fucking ongoing.

On April 1st, I started using an audio editing software for my music career, which was new at the time, because all I had was a website DAW.

Then on April 23rd, 2020  I had my last MLB operation in recent memory. Which was operation 33.

In June 2020, I pioneered and experimented with a Hypertone Technique that I would later call ‘Breaking’. It involves copying and pasting nothing into an Ultrasound Tone (Ultratone), which breaks the tone into segments, making a small wall of the Broken Tone, then copying that wall, cutting the unedited (unbroken) tone, then pasting the wall of the Broken Tone, until it is significantly bigger, then speeding that up. The difference between this and most methods is that Breaking is an infinite cycle that can be repeated for eternity.

In that same month, I reached ee+121 BPM.

Later on, in August 2020, I reached ee+388 BPM, because I discovered three new forms of Breaking: Micro-Breaking, Nano-Breaking and Pico-Breaking.

Then, in December 2020, I discovered another three forms of Breaking: Femto-Breaking, Yocto-Breaking and Zepto-Breaking. In late December 2020, I started a 202 track album, titled ‘Reality Has No Meaning’ in response to the UK going into a second lockdown, due to variants of CoViD-19 hitting the country.

I completed RHNM in late January 2021.

Then, in February, I revived my BPMs reaching ee+500 on February 13th, 2021, ee+666 on February 17th, 2021 and starting my final major Hypertone album, and major album in general that has 100+ tracks: Towards E+1000 Digits. Which started on February 17th, 2021 and ended with the ee+1000 BPM track, on February 25th, 2021. I also reached ee+1001 the same day. marking an end to Breaking’s publicity.

In April 2021, I became insanely bitter, hateful and cynical, because I realised that I no longer had childhood innocence. This bitterness lasted until June and July. When I suddenly became apathetic to everything. I didn’t feel emotion for as long as I used to, circa 2018 and 2019. I still felt emotion, but very rarely.

In June I became pessimistic more severely than before, for some reason.

In late July, I became way more stylised, with the creation of more Soundcloud accounts to house very distinct styles of my music. The most personal of these is an alias named FFTSD, which is an acronym for ‘Falling For The Same Delusions’

Which expressed apathy, and also gave personal and self-reflective anecdotes in the descriptions of it’s tracks with a more expressive title.

This is all I have to offer about my life for now.

The Audacity Era is sort of Reminiscent of Hospital Hell for me, because it never ends. It’s on and off, constantly. (I mean this in the sense of my motivation to make music constantly being on and off).

This is everything about my life, online and offline.

Thank you for reading this essay/thesis or whatever, have a great day!

- TNYJ