#THIS WAS LITERALLY MADE FOR ME I AM SO HAPPY

[weaselle]

i really appreciate the information and intent here, but i do just have to say that specifically both dogs and chimpanzees have a lot more nuance to their smiles than what this post indicates.

Dogs literally evolved facial muscles that wolves don't have so they can communicate with humans better, and dogs do have a couple of happy smile expressions. The problem is, you have to really know what you're looking at to tell the difference

here is my dog smiling a happy smile

and here is one where his smile is even more relaxed and happy

Next, below, is a picture of my dog in high heat stress (i removed him from this situation about 20 seconds after i snapped this pic, we both fell asleep in a tent in the middle of the day and woke up being baked, he is way too hot here. I sent this picture to his other owner, who was working as a vet tech at that time, and she immediately texted back "too hot!" -- if you know dogs, and especially if you know the individual dog, the difference is very clear)

in the too hot picture you can see he's sort of smiling more like this

and here is something in between, where he is just a little tired and maaaybe a little hot from running around excitedly in the cool air, but also happy and satisfied and relaxed and low stress

in this next picture he has a 100% not stressed, real, wants-to-play smile

whereas the next pic is a low heat, but very high stress "smile"

in this pic we are practicing being calm around cats, who Badger does not like or trust, and which fill him with a mix of both fight and flight feelings (he's being a very good boy for me, but he is pretty stressed, and only maintaining his composure by refusing to look at the cats next to him. Sometimes i take him places there are cats, so this was a good training opportunity for us, but he is experiencing stress)

and finally here is a "please" smile where he really wants something (in this case, to go on a run)

similarly, rigorous studies of chimpanzee facial expressions show that they smile for a wide variety of reasons that yes, include fear and aggression, but also include things like appeasement or placation, and also play.

in this somewhat famous picture, for example

Many people were quick to say a lot of "inviting you to be drowned" and "they smile when they want to murder you" kind of comments, but if you look up the description of the event from the photographer, this bonobo is simply asking for the camera, which, though mysterious, is very obviously a fascinating and high-value object to the people, please hand it to me.

The apes that the photographer and accompanying ape behaviorists were recording (because voluntarily swimming and playing in water is another thing we thought these apes never did) were apparently very interested in his camera and they tried many times to entice him to hand it over. This is a "please share" smile, and according to the ape behaviorists, and is in no way threatening.

Chimpanzees and bonobos (and before you say anything about bonobos happy-smiling more because they are so happy and peaceful, you should know that bonobos actually fight each other MORE than chimps, it's just bonobos don't really ever fight to the point serious injury or death while chimps often do... but bonobos actually throw hands significantly more often than chimps, and do plenty of threat displays) both utilize smiles in ways science is only recently recognizing.

The truth is, like most things, animal communication is very nuanced.

Again, i don't want to take away from the main point of the post -- the number of videos and photos i see of "cute" or "happy" animals that are actually clearly in distress if you know what to look for is, frankly, tragic. I am very glad OP made their post about it.

I've even seen a "heroic" mother-chicken-defends-baby-chicks-from-hawk video where the hawk was very clearly either injured or ill or drugged or something, and was literally thrown into an enclosure with the chickens to film the also stressed out chickens attacking the poor hawk who was barely aware of what was happening. It looked like it was super over-heated, or maybe it had been hit in the head or something, it was a, basically an acutely disabled hawk, that somebody used badly to make some kind of stupid "inspirational" animal video.

So posts like this are important.

i just wanted to be accurate about the fact that dogs and chimpanzees do actually smile for smiling reasons, and just like with humans, a lot of knowing which is what is knowing the context... but you can also often tell just by looking closely at the expression if you really know what to look for (i don't know what to look for in apes, i just read a couple facial expression studies about it, but working professionally with dogs, i pay special attention to the tension around their eyes and the corners of their mouth, and what their tongue is doing, among other cues)

and of course i have my own dog's expressions dialed in. Sometimes he actually gets my attention and makes, like, an approximation of his too hot face at me when his water bowl is empty and he wants a drink.

And there are times he smiles a real smile

Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

[bunni-v1]

relating to your last ask that included arguments between shadow milk and his lover, i cannot get the following picture out of my head:

his doll, while a bit (a bit more) off-put by the whole truthless recluse situation, is very much "whatever, their soul jam, their business" about it

however-

what grinds their gears is the fact that kids (aka the gingerbrave gang) are involved

i can just imagine them going off on shadow milk like "listen, i get it, your plans but they are kids. literal children?? keep them out of this-" "no, doll, listen, they're scheming kids-"

ik this isn't really an ask, but i just wanted to share it :)) love your writing, you're amazing, and your shadow milk headcanons live rent free in my brain (actually i am paying them-)

Lolololol (Feel like a mysmes character typing ts... okay), I guess we can say this is ur rent. I'm happy for your payment though, it's good food for thought my love! Have a little midnight snack as a treat!

Just imagine you're someone who's more compassionate. It's something that Shadow Milk Cookie cherishes about you... when it's directed at him. You're always worrying over him and his little henchmen, Candy Apple especially since she's so young. It's annoying, but it's sweet how much you dote on them, and he can't say he dislikes the idea of you in a more parental role...

It becomes an issue when those little pests come around. You've never nosed your way into his business at all, leaving things between him and Pure Vanilla to be what they are. He prefers it like that, keeping you out of trouble was always a positive on his mind. Oh, but then those cute little annoying snotty nosed brats come along and ruin everything.

It wouldn't have been an issue if you hadn't overheard him threaten to drown them. It not like he was actually going to, he was just poking at Truthless Recluse, that's all. You didn't take it though, you were all kinds of pissed off at him.

He thinks it's a silly thing to be upset about, you know he didn't care enough about those kids to do much of anything to them. Yet, you remain upset, even after things are done and Compassionate Pure Vanilla has TEMPORARILY taken him and his plans down. It stumps him, he can't possibly wrap his mind around what's gotten into you. Such a small insignificant act is nothing compared to half of what you've seen him do.

When you refuse to say more than a few words to him, he starts to worry. What did he do wrong? Well, you told him, but why was it so bad this time? The best answers come from the source, of course, but getting it out of you might be a little harder than he likes.

"Doll? Dolly? Little star? Won't you talk to me?" He pouts, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

You might've teased him if you weren't so upset now. You keep your nose upturned, doing your best not to crack under his relentless pressure. He could be so persistent about these things, and normally you would give, but he'd crossed a line this time. You didn't mess around with children, and he should've known better.

A drawn-out sigh comes from behind you, "Are you still upset about the drowning thing? It was all in good fun I promise! Nothing to worry your pretty little head over!"

He didn't know better, though. For the former fount of knowledge -- and someone who could literally read minds if he wanted to -- he was terribly unaware sometimes. It made you so angry, and you felt bad for being angry because he really didn't get it.

"They're just insignificant little kids, it's a silly thing to be angry about." He continues, and oh that gets a reaction out of you.

You turn around to face him, the boredom in his expression only making that anger bubble up more and more. You really can't hold it in anymore.

"Exactly, they're kids! Just kids, they don't have any stake in this. Why couldn't you let well enough alone for once!" You shout, and it feels so good to get out. Pettiness aside, you'd wanted to get it through his head since this all started.

You watch his face shift through surprise and annoyance and then flatten into an unreadable expression. It was unsettling to see, especially pointed in your direction. Still, you tried to stand your ground, though you'd never felt so small next to him. He lets the silence linger in a purposeful move, you're not sure why. It keeps you on edge the whole time, unable to tell what his next move might be.

"Dolly, they were in my way, I had no choice-" He starts, but you've had enough of the manipulation and sitting quietly.

"What threat are children to you?" Your voice breaks halfway through the sentence, tears you didn't realize were building pouring over your cheeks, "You are so frustrating sometimes. In what universe would I ever be alright with hurting children? Sometimes it's like you don't even know me!"

You don't realize he's in front of you until he's lifting your face in his hand with uncharacteristic gentleness. His face is still flat, but you see the worry shining behind his eyes.

"Y'know you shouldn't lie to the literal embodiment of deceit," He says quietly as he brushes your tears away.

You know you shouldn't, but you laugh a little at that, "I'm sorry. I'm just upset."

"No, really?"

"You don't get to joke around right now," you scoff with a halfhearted shove at his shoulder.

He hums, leaning into your vision so you have to look at him, "It's making you smile, though."

"Shadow Milk Cookie."

"Okay, okay. I get the message," He backs off, "Just don't cry anymore, please?"

You smile, "Maybe if you promise not to involve those kids more than you have to, please?"

He seems to think it over like it was a hard decision. He doesn't think much longer when you flatten a glare on him, "Alright, it's a promise! You can look at my fingers, they're not crossed either! I'll keep my word!"

You scoff at him, "What do I see in you?"

"My charm and wit, of course!" He puffs up like a proud cat, the usual grin back on his face.

"Just kiss it better you dummy!"

"Whatever you ask for, you shall receive, my little star!"

And kiss it better he does, until you can hardly remember why you were so mad at him to begin with.

[lyxchen]

SOMETHING JUST HEALED IN ME BECAUSE CHARLEY AND YURI KISSED AND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THIS IS GOING TO FUEL ME FOR MONTHS!!!!!!!!

[lemonlover1110]

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 2] Lunch

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Story Warnings: Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Attempted Murder, Murder, Smut, Eventual Fluff and Romance

*I completely forgot that i was cross posting, forgive me!! For all of those that asked, there's no edits! It's the same as AO3!

The interview goes well– at least you think it goes well, and then you wait for the reporter and photographer to go back home. There isn’t much to talk about since your father isn’t exactly the happiest about the man you’re engaged to, and he doesn’t want to let Naobito have a piece of his mind. You say your awkward farewells before leaving the house.

Your father doesn’t shut up once he gets into the car, he rants the whole way home and you tune him out. You just can’t wait to see your daughter. Every now and then you catch a bit of what he’s saying.

“That motherfucker really fucking screwed me over. We had agreed on that other nephew of his not on that piece of shit, good-for-nothing man.” It is around the fifth time your father says those similar words, and your stepmother is annoyed.

“What the fuck did you expect? Your daughter literally has a creature that most men don’t want to deal with! Suck it up!” She raises her voice.

“Who doesn’t want to deal with Misaki? She’s an angel brought from heaven!” Your father claims, the soft spot his heart has for your daughter is very visible. But he will still choose his wife over his granddaughter, the same way he chose his wife over his daughter.

“Angel brought from heaven.” Your stepmother scoffs. She’s grateful that the Zenins will soon take you off her hands. “Naobito informed me that the wedding is set to be in a month or so. The wedding planning has begun.”

“In a month? Did he not think to inform me, considering I am the bride.” You speak up, causing a laugh to come from her. You don’t find the humor in it.

“Inform you? He told me which is more than enough. I told you the news, so it isn’t coming up to you as unexpected.” She replies. You open your mouth to speak but she interrupts you, “This isn’t a marriage that’s made of love. If you fall in love with him, then good for you but at the moment it’s not about that. It’s to clean their image and to get you and your daughter off our hands. The wedding is not going to be to your liking but to theirs.”

“You don’t have to say it like that.” Your father tells her, but you can agree with her on something.

“She’s right. That’s the only reason you’re doing it, or else why are you marrying me off to a complete stranger?” You say.

“Because it’s what’s best for you and Misaki. You saw what happened with Misaki’s father, didn’t you? He left even though you have a daughter together. He claimed he loved you, didn’t he? But you still came back to my door with your daughter because you couldn’t pay the bills.” He begins and you want to interrupt him, but you let him ramble on as you roll your eyes at his every word. “My point is, I think marrying for love is pointless unless you both have money. I’m setting up your daughter to have a successful life, even if it costs your happiness. Love didn’t bring you anything good anyways.”

“I-” You try to think of a way to defend yourself, but it’s not worth it in the end. You mutter it though, “I was just unlucky.”

“As I was saying…” Your stepmother continues talking, “The wedding will be as they envision it. The only thing that will be adjusted to you will be your gown size, which will be in fact next week.”

“How big is this wedding supposed to be? A month isn’t a lot of time to organize a big wedding.” You ask, wondering how many eyes will be on you in a month.

“Really big. Every person imaginable will be there.” She answers. “As to wedding preparations, you don’t have to worry because you’re not doing it. The Zenins have hired people that are more than capable and work fast.”

You just stay quiet and close your eyes. Maybe this is all a dream– More like a nightmare. Maybe when you open your eyes back up you’ll go back to when you were five, when life was good. When you could go running back to your mother and give her a hug and she’d fill your face with kisses until you begged her to stop.

But you open your eyes back up, and the only thing you see is your father’s house, which looks as horrid as ever with the lack of color. You remember once upon a time that the outside was filled with a mix of beautiful colors, now it's colorless. The flowers that your mom once planted are gone; they have been for a long time.

You’re the first to get out of the car, and walk to the front door. You knock since you have no keys. Soon enough the door opens and you see the babysitter that your father hired. She lives in the neighborhood and is roughly sixteen years old.

“Hello, Utahime.” You greet her and she greets you back. “Did she behave?”

“She was a sweetheart.” She answers. You walk into the home, and as the little girl notices she drops her doll and runs to your side.

“Mommy!” She yells as she runs to your side. You kneel down to receive the hug that she so warmly welcomes you with. You kiss her cheek. She’s quick to ask, “How was lunch?”

“It was- good!” You tell her. She’s too young to know or even understand what’s going on. She made a fuss before you left and you assured her that you’d be back soon, that you were only having lunch with friends. “Nothing too interesting, how about you, baby? How did you like your time with Utahime?”

“It was good!” She replies. Your father and stepmother walk through the door and your daughter rushes to greet your father. She receives the same treatment you do from your stepmother, so she rightfully doesn’t like the woman. You get off the ground, and go upstairs to get Utahime’s money.

You quickly go back downstairs with the money and give it to Utahime. She thanks you and gets her stuff. She says her goodbyes before walking out the door.

Once the door closes, your stepmother opens her mouth. She looks down at Misaki. “You’ll be having a dad soon.”

“What?” Your daughter asks, blinking at the very much older woman, very confused. “What does that mean?”

You glare at the woman. Maybe you’re looking more forward to this wedding day than you first thought. You’ll even prepare a speech of all the things you want to tell her.

“Is daddy coming back?” Your daughter questions, hope in her voice which makes you want to break down crying. It hurts to crush her illusion.

“No, Misaki, you’re getting a new daddy.” Your stepmother responds. Your daughter’s hopes are not the same, but she’s not crushed. She doesn’t remember her father that much so she’s not scared of someone replacing him.

“Misaki, do you want to watch a movie with me?” You ask, switching the topic. She nods and walks to your side.

“Wake up, you two.” You hear a not so nice voice that slowly causes you to open your eyes. You look at the woman you despise more than anything in this world, and your day is already ruined. You know it’s not going to be a good day.

You caress your daughter’s cheek since she’s always hard to wake up in the morning. She groans but she eventually opens her eyes. The woman still stands in your room. It’s a rare sight to have her wake you up.

“What?” You ask, wondering what she wants. She never needs anything from you which is why you never spoke. She has people to cook or clean for her since your father is more than blessed to have the money for. Otherwise, you would be the one to be doing those chores. She wouldn’t be with him in the first place if he had no money.

You’re not the same little girl that she could torment so there’s no point in being in your room, more or less speaking with you.

“You have lunch with Toji today. Misaki is coming with, and there’s a couple of hidden paparazzi’s so make sure to look decent.” She informs you. You sigh as you get up from bed. “Be ready in two hours.”

You get up from bed and let the child rest for a couple more minutes while you begin the process of getting yourself ready. You first take a shower, and when you come back out you see your daughter still sleeping.

You wake her up again, and she gets up looking around confused. You want to smile. She’s your literal clone, she just has a couple miniscule features that are like her dad’s.

“We’re going out to lunch, baby.” You inform her. You walk back to the bathroom to fill the bathtub up with water for your daughter. You walk back to the room, and she’s still really tired. She wants to lay back down but you try to get her excited to go out. “We can get ice cream after lunch.”

“Really?” She asks, practically sold. She’s now fully awake and she gets out of the bed. She walks out of the room and into the bathroom. You walk in as well, while she does her business you shut off the faucet that is ruining water.

“Are we going to meet my new daddy?” She asks, which catches you off guard. You’re not sure how to respond.

“I-” You begin, but can’t find the right words. “He’s not your new daddy, honey, but we will be seeing him a lot more, soon.”

“Okay!” She responds as she gets up to wash her hands. You want to chuckle, thinking about how easy that was.

You get to the restaurant, and your father and stepmother decide to sit a couple of tables over. You sigh watching them be led by the hostess to their seat. You don’t get too much time to stare at them, soon enough you’re being led to the table your future husband is sitting at. 

You notice the infant that is sitting in a high chair, right next to his dad. There’s a genuine smile on Toji’s face as he feeds the baby some of the baby food. The baby isn’t too pleased with the food, you notice as his nose scrunches up, and half the food is practically down his chin.

The smile on Toji’s face disappears as he sees you and the little girl that is holding on to your hand. You make your daughter sit down before sitting down next to her. You and Toji exchange looks, his being nastier than yours. But he remembers there’s supposedly people around that are watching.

“This is my daughter, Misaki.” You introduce the little girl who is shy when meeting new people. She warms up easily, but Toji just has an intimidating look.

“Hi!” She surprisingly says, waving at the man. He’s not the kindest, but he has some manners. He reminds himself that your daughter is not you.

“Hi, I’m Toji.” He waves back. Toji then goes back to paying attention to Megumi. He tries to give the baby more food but he just flat out refuses to open his mouth. Toji sighs and puts the food back into the food. He looks back at you two, looking more at your daughter so his dislike towards you doesn’t seem as evident. “This is my son, Megumi.”

“Megumi’s a cute name. One of my baby dolls is named Megumi.” She is quick to inform him. She warmed up fast. He raises his eyebrow and continues the conversation with the child.

"Really? That's nice." Toji says. The waitress comes up to the table and you order your drinks. You watch the baby and can’t help but help but smile at the baby's adorable face.

“He’s so cute.” You comment and Toji hums in agreement. 

Toji taps his fingers on the table, everything a bit too awkward. He just doesn’t understand why he feels this way. Annoyed. You haven’t really done anything, and you seem like a decent enough human being but he feels frustrated and mad when he just so happens to look at you.

He just needed you to refuse that proposal, and make the Zenins clean up Toji’s image some other way. But getting married again so quickly– It is an easy plan, he admits, but he prefers a harder one because he learned that matrimony is a sacred thing.

He doesn’t want to get married again. More or less, with someone he’s not in love with. Since he’s not getting what he wants because of you, the negative feelings take over.

“How old are you?” His eyes are on your daughter. She puts five fingers up, a smile on her face as she tells him verbally.

“Five!” She tells him.

“Are you in school?” He continues questioning, wanting to know more about his future stepdaughter because the wedding is going to happen whether he likes it or not. Unless something happens.

He fights back a smirk as an idea comes to mind. The Zenins can’t throw him in the streets if something were to just happen to you.

“Mommy put me in preschool. I’ll be starting kindergarten soon!” She excitedly responds.

The waitress comes back with your drinks. Misaki and Toji continue to chat while you watch baby Megumi, who took a liking to the spoon. He wasn’t slapping it on the high chair, something your daughter would’ve done at his age, but he inspects it. He puts his little chubby fingers on it.

And as you hear your daughter speak with Toji, and watch as the adorable baby inspects his spoon, you think that things won’t be so bad.

[daylighted]

Do u think baby would mention the things she’s seen dean do in the car? I feel like that would be the most funny and awkward (on deans part) conversation

omfg yes 😭😭 yes she would bring it up bc she has no semblance of shame and yes it would be just as awkward as u are imagining. something like ...

"dean?"

that innocent voice never meant anything good, dean had come to realize, so it's with great reluctance that he turns to face you, that typical brace-for-impact wince on his face.

"how come when sam drives you're not back here with me?"

literally, you could not have caught him further off guard, because what kind of question is that? your questions tended to have a million hidden meanings and things he was just supposed to innately know, and so he smiles a little. "word that better for me, will ya?"

common occurrence. some of your questions became a tad more intelligible with the request, sometimes they only ended up confusing the both of you more.

expectedly, your face contorts into wild irritation. it's amazing how much attitude one person could have within them, especially one that did not even know that you were acting bratty. "you like girls in the backseat."

dean blanches. "what?"

your face is more furious now, somehow. at this point, though, he really is avoiding the question at hand, so at least your irritability is justified. "i am a girl. and you always used to have girls in the backseat, laying on them."

laying on them. yeah.

"naked."

there it was.

sam glances up from behind the laptop screen with a grimace. he meets dean's eyes and shakes his head, grabbing the convenient investment he'd made and plugging the earbuds into his ears. great. so this was all on dean.

you are still going though, taking his silence for the avoidance that it was. "i can get naked! i do not care. if you only sit with the naked girls, fine. i will—"

"you are so damn cute, baby," dean says, muffled by the hand he scrubs over his face, "i can't stand it."

"then sit it," you shoot back at him, lips twisted into a fiery pout. "every other girl in the universe has had you sitting back here with them. but you won't sit next to me."

dean frowns. every other girl in the universe is a bit of an exaggeration, but, sure. he'll take the bait. "it's not been that many."

"it's so been that many. i remember."

your memory was about as selective as a toddler's hearing, so that evidence was out the window.

dean crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in the wooden dining chair he sat in, rocking on its back legs. "and what do you wanna do with me in the backseat, huh?"

"sit!" borderline shouted, like it was the easiest answer in the universe and not something that was practically life or death for dean. "i want to sit next to you. i hate leaning forward in the middle to talk to you guys. that is not safe."

now you were schooling him on road safety.

it's the genuine hurt on your face that makes him take pause. sometimes, these conversations were funny, or amusing, or just as uncomfortable as this one was. sometimes, though, dean didn't take in the account that every word out of your mouth was genuine. no corners cut, no beating around the bush.

"every other girl in the universe has gotten to sit next to you," you repeat, slower this time, your voice so much smaller. god, you really were so damn cute; he couldn't stand it or sit it. "and they were so happy about it. they were saying yes so many times. i wanna say yes."

his lips thin to try and repress the smile. it was not funny. this was serious. you felt like an enigma (and you were, but that certainly wasn't going to make you feel any better right now. the least dean could do was pull his head out of the gutter and grant you the reassurances you needed.

"how about, next car ride, i sit back there with you?" dean asks, raising his eyebrows to punctuate the question. "or we kick sam to the backseat and you sit up there with me? then you can talk my ear off."

you stare at him for a long while, seeming to contemplate it. without answering, you reach over to tap sam on the shoulder, prompting him to tug an earbud loose. "dean wants to kick you to the backseat so i can sit up front this time."

sam's mouth opens and closes a couple of times, completely lost. "...okay?" he looks over at dean with that same grimaced wince from earlier.

dean shrugs. "you were incapable of defending yourself. shut yourself out of the world, lose your freedom of choice in seats."

"new car rule?" sam's cheeks dimple with the force of his thin smile. "it was fine when you made up all those rules when we were kids. not fun anymore."

another shrug. "baby's choice."

he was right, though. dean hadn't implemented car rules since he'd inherited (hijacked, really, but semantics) baby from his dad's clutches, years ago. the fact that your arrival was causing dean to make up new things to make you happy and comfortable was...

not something he wanted to think about, thanks.

expectedly, that happiness radiates off of you like its own heat source, warm and inviting. your hands clap together quickly, grin wide enough to blind a car driving by the motel.

"yes, yes, yes!" you say, all of that genuine joy on your face somehow keeping dean's head out of the gutter, too blinded by it to care about any sort of innuendo. "see? i already sound like all the other girls in the world."

sam closes his eyes, breathing a sigh out of his nose. "alright. i'm done here." the earbud goes right back in, leaving dean and you staring across the table at each other.

fuck. he was screwed.

[anghraine]

#op this is amazing#if you follow me you better vote in this i wanna see what people choose#don't miss out on the stuff under “keep reading”#THE THOROUGHNESS#i can't even#this is like a thesis in spirk#and it's not even everything#special mention to them also staring at each other for a completely unnecessary amount of time in the alternative factor#+ “it give me emotional security”/spock literally smiling and blushing#“when I feel friendship for you i am ashamed”/circling each other like animals while jim begs him to help him save the ship#“i need him”#“i have a responsibility to this ship. to the man on the bridge. i am what i am leila”#GAY#THEY MAKE ME INSANE#also giggling @ the last option just being “amok time”#the entire episode#accurate (via @spirk-trek)

Thank you very much!! I totally used your blog to find the screenshots to link to for the turbolift porn scene, so I'm doubly flattered :D

Also I felt deeply oppressed by being limited to 12 options and spent a good week deciding on which I absolutely had to include. So I had a separate draft explaining the "holy shit, holy shit" of several more I didn't include >_>

Copy-pasting the honorable mentions just for shits and giggles:

— "The Naked Time" (S1) - other people's inhibitions dropping for space infection reasons makes them silly. Spock without inhibitions is just absolutely miserable and tormented for various reasons, but his devastated shame just keeps deepening until we get:

Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed. [...] Understand, Jim. I've spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.

Spock always has "repressed gay angst given humanoid form" vibes, but damn, it's barely metaphorical here, and specifically tied to his feelings for Kirk? Wow.

— "The Corbomite Maneuver" (S1): the last to be removed because it was so difficult. I only dropped it because while it's "lmao you remember you're coworkers on the bridge surrounded by other coworkers, right?" it's not quite as unhinged as "if 430 people have to die to try saving Jim, them's the breaks" etc.

SPOCK: Has it occurred to you that there's a certain inefficiency in constantly questioning me on things you've already made up your mind about? KIRK: It gives me emotional security :)

— "The Galileo Seven" (S1) - a broadly meh episode in which the usual background hum of bigotry Spock endures just becomes the episode. Kirk and Spock are separated for most of the episode (Leonard Nimoy apparently disliked the experience specifically because he had to carry the main plot without William Shatner around), but at the very end, they're all reunited on the bridge, and Kirk is charmed and amused by Spock's continuing refusal to admit anything he did was illogical. Kirk gets out of the captain's chair, walks over to Spock, leans on a nearby console, and as the conversation goes on, he puts his arm around the back of Spock's chair and leans in further. Obviously delighted, he says:

Mr. Spock, you're a stubborn man.

Spock replies:

Yes, sir.

— "This Side of Paradise" (S1) - Spock gets deliberately exposed to happy sex pollen by a woman who had a crush on him back in the day. After frolicking while high on the sex pollen, he finds time for this:

SPOCK: You don't understand, Jim, but you'll come around sooner or later. Join us. Please.

And then, once his head is clear:

LEILA: On Earth, you couldn't give anything of yourself. You couldn't even put your arms around me. We couldn't have anything together there. We couldn't have anything together anyplace else. We're happy here. I can't lose you now, Mr. Spock. I can't. SPOCK: I have a responsibility to this ship, to that man on the bridge. I am what I am, Leila, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.

Sometimes he'll just say something like this and afterwards, I'd have to literally go lie down and contemplate my own repressed gay angst I thought I was over because it's so ... damn.

— "The City on the Edge of Forever" (S1) - mostly for the wild interaction between Kirk's best female love interest and Spock:

SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will. [To Kirk] And you? You belong in another place.

Thanks, Edith. Also, the episode marks Kirk's relationship with Edith as different and special via Spock's transparent jealousy, which sure was a choice!

— "Spock's Brain" (S3) - of all things! But while it sucks in many ways, it gives us:

KIRK: Spock, is that you? SPOCK: Captain? Captain Kirk? KIRK: Yes, Spock. Yes. SPOCK: Captain, there is a definite pleasurable experience connected with the hearing of your voice.

— "Is There In Truth No Beauty?" (S3) - when Miranda Jones initially fails to save Spock and Kirk loses his shit (tactically, but he admits afterwards that he thinks he was being truthful):

The other half [of Spock] is human. Far more human than you, apparently … If you don’t reach him soon, he’ll die. But that’s what you want, isn’t it? … You want him to die. What did you do to him on the bridge? Did you make him forget to put the visor over his eyes? … You know your rival, don’t you? You couldn’t keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos, something you couldn’t do yourself! With my words, I’ll make you hear such ugliness as Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes! The ugliness is within you! … Spock saw Kollos, and for that he must die … The smell of hatred, the stench of jealousy permeates you. Why don’t you strangle him while he lies there?

— "Wink of an Eye" (S3) - one of the most chilling cases of a woman pursuing Kirk without even slightly caring about the wildly coercive circumstances (and in this case, creating them). Also, uh:

DEELA: He's trying to communicate with the Vulcan. His species is capable of much affection. RAEL: I have noted that. DEELA: I wonder if they will demonstrate it to us. :)

o_O

So one of the revelations from watching the entirety of TOS is that Kirk and Spock's relationship is not only every bit as homoerotic as rumored and then some—though it is—but that they are also incredibly fucking unhinged about it. So for this week's poll, I wanted to honor this discovery!

(The character limitations don't allow for much detail, and in context these are even more incredible, so I'll add the links/clips/summations beneath the cut!)

1— "The Empath" (Season 3)

Context: the girl of the week, Gem, is a member of a species of mute empaths able to absorb others' injuries through sympathy and generally drawn to positive emotion. Meanwhile, Kirk is tortured by other parties in the episode to test her willingness to take on others' suffering, and he falls into an exhausted unconscious heap on a bench.

Gem starts to head away towards McCoy, but is suddenly arrested by something she senses and turns to look at Spock, who is moving over to sit next to Kirk and watch him sleep. When Spock realizes he's being observed, he turns away and pretends to study data in his tricorder. Gem isn't fooled, however, and walks back over to him, touching Spock's shoulder and staring at him with wonder in her face over this simple feeling whatever his emotion is while delicate music plays in the background. See for yourself:

2— "Shore Leave" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk is fatigued and strained and in physical pain after ... uh, everything (this episode was aired immediately after "The Conscience of the King" and "Balance of Terror," so it's not hard to buy). He tries to stretch out his back and Spock, standing behind Kirk with his hands on the back of the captain's chair, pulls his hands back and asks him if something is wrong. Kirk explains it's just the kink in his back. A pretty female yeoman starts massaging his back (uh) and Kirk welcomes it under the mistaken belief that it's Spock doing it:

"That's it. A little higher, please. Push. Push hard. Dig it in there, Mr.—"

Spock lifts a brow and pointedly steps forward so Kirk can see it's not him, and Kirk immediately orders the yeoman to stop with a meaningful look at Spock.

(Bonus episode points: Spock's smug satisfaction at tricking Kirk into taking shore leave where McCoy failed, and them grasping at each other when they're in danger.)

3— "A Taste of Armageddon" (Season 1)

Context: After Kirk successfully uses a risky gambit to trick two neighboring peoples into making peace rather than continuing to murder millions of people via computers, he explains his thinking:

It was a calculated risk. Still, the Eminians keep a very orderly society, and actual war is a very messy business. A very, very messy business. I had a feeling that they would do anything to avoid it, even talk peace.

When Spock is dubious about acting based on "a feeling," Kirk adds:

Sometimes, Mr. Spock, a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

Spock replies:

Captain, you almost make me believe in luck.

And then Kirk dials it up to:

Why, Mr. Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles.

Then the camera just focuses on Spock visibly trying to process this and the episode ends.

4— "Requiem for Methuselah" (Season 3)

Context: this is one of relatively few episodes in which Kirk actually gets to pursue a woman because he likes her rather than desperate circumstances; as usual with people he cares about, she dies. He's so emotionally drained at this point in the show that, upon returning to the ship, he describes his immortal rival for her love and himself as "A very old and lonely man, and a young and lonely man," mutters that he wishes he could just forget it all, and falls asleep at a table.

Meanwhile, Spock (who has been visibly intense and uncomfortable throughout the whole episode) stays nearby as McCoy enters. Spock gestures at him to stay quiet and McCoy briefly exposits a plot point to Spock, then segues into an unexpectedly vicious, half-smiling monologue about what Kirk's gone through in the episode and how Spock could never understand it:

Considering his opponent's longevity, truly an eternal triangle. You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know simply because the word love isn't written into your book. Goodnight, Spock.

Spock just endures and politely replies "Goodnight, doctor," but after McCoy leaves, he allows himself to respond. Without so much as a scene break, Spock slowly walks over to the unconscious Kirk, touches his face, and mind-melds with him while he sleeps. And then he wipes Kirk's memory (!!!) of the tragic romance with his rival this girl, murmuring:

Forget.

5— "And the Children Shall Lead" (Season 3)

Context: a simple instance from a weak episode, but also ... damn, it's a lot. A bunch of children under the malign influence of an evil imperialist alien have managed to take over the Enterprise. This isn't the first time something roughly similar has happened, but at this point, Kirk has a full on panic attack as he and Spock leave the bridge and take the turbolift. Kirk clings to Spock as he melts down and Spock unsuccessfully tries to calm him with "Captain," but it only works when he murmurs, "Jim."

Kirk freezes and then immediately calms back down to his usual rational self. Spock is still concerned and Kirk assures him he'll be fine now (and is).

6— "Miri" (Season 1)

McCoy, Janice Rand, Kirk, and Spock are all gathered around trying to figure out the disease of the week, which has infected all of them (though Spock is asymptomatic). Kirk and Spock lock eyes and Spock points out that they can't go back to the ship, including him since he'd be a carrier, and then he adds:

Whatever happens, I can't go back to the ship ... and I do want to go back to the ship, captain.

Kirk smiles slowly and they just stare at each other as if Janice and McCoy had dropped off the face of the planet.

7— "The Tholian Web" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk is trapped in a different phase of space while a local anomaly is gradually driving the crew of the Enterprise to insane rage. At the same time, the hostile Tholians are threatening the Enterprise with the obvious intent of killing them all within short order, and Kirk's disappearance places Spock in command throughout this triple crisis. Spock refuses to order an escape, instead insisting on the Enterprise remaining in place to keep trying to rescue Kirk, homicidal insanity of the crew be damned, even as the Tholians began attacking.

McCoy urges Spock to prioritize the welfare of the Enterprise and its crew above Kirk, telling him they can't afford to stick around and keep trying. Spock refuses and things predictably get worse.

McCoy confronts him about his priorities:

You should've known what could've happened and done everything in your power to safeguard your crew. That is the mark of a starship captain, like Jim.

Plot events lead everyone, including Spock, to believe that Kirk is dead, and as acting commander, Spock also has to lead the memorial service:

as a result of the battle, we must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive. [...] I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts.

McCoy continues to lash out at him directly afterwards:

He was a hero in every sense of the word, yet his life was sacrificed for nothing. The one thing that would have given his death meaning is the safety of the Enterprise. Now you've made that impossible, Mr. Spock. [...] I really came here to find out why you stayed and fought. [...] You could have assured yourself of a captaincy by leaving the area. But you chose to stay. Why?

Spock coldly replies:

I need not explain my rationale to you or any other member of this crew.

They snap at each other until they find the recording left for both of them by Kirk in the case of his death. It (hilariously) begins:

Bones, Spock, since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat.

The message is honestly both wise and heartwarming about how they should respect each other and both have important qualities to offer in a crisis. McCoy immediately feels ashamed of how he's been behaving at such a moment, and tells Spock:

Spock, I, er, I'm sorry. It does hurt, doesn't it?

Spock bleakly replies:

What would you have me say, doctor?

8— "Turnabout Intruder" (Season 3)

Context: in the very peculiar series finale, Kirk's autocratic and vengeful ex-girlfriend uses some kind of machine to take control of his body, leaving him trapped in her body. Spock notices almost immediately that "Kirk" is acting out of character and that "Janice" clearly knows something, so he goes to talk to "her" and Kirk tells him everything. Spock thinks it's possible but there's no certain proof, and Kirk urges him to mind-meld with him:

You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know his thoughts. What does your telepathic mind tell you now?

Spock melds with him and is promptly convinced.

Bonus: Spock tries to help Kirk escape shortly thereafter and holds his wrist/hand for a good twenty seconds.

9— "The Paradise Syndrome" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk becomes a carefree amnesiac stranded on a planet of transplanted Indigenous people (it's as bad as it sounds), but there's a much more well-done subplot around Spock commanding the Enterprise in the meanwhile. He stubbornly risks the ship (again) to try and rescue Kirk, but the attempt disastrously fails, leaving the ship with only impulse power. McCoy says in some frustration:

Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk in your calculated Vulcan way, and you lost. You lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim.

Despite his exasperation, McCoy still tries to get Spock to rest. Spock simply ignores him and orders the ship to head towards the planet Kirk is stranded on, still stubbornly set on rescuing him, even though they have no warp capabilities and have to travel entirely by impulse power. When McCoy protests that it'll take months, Spock replies:

Exactly 59.223 days, doctor.

And there's no clever solution around it, either. They do take nearly two months getting to the planet and Spock spends 58 days of the journey fixated on figuring out the puzzle that will allow them to save Kirk. McCoy tries to get him to eat or sleep, since he's done little of either for over 50 days, but Spock refuses to do anything except prepare for rescuing Kirk:

I'm also aware when we arrive at the planet, we'll have barely four hours to effect rescue. I believe those symbols are the key. [...] I am not hungry, doctor. [...] My physical condition is not important, doctor. That obelisk is.

McCoy eventually threatens to call security to force him away from studying the puzzle and make him lie down, so Spock finally goes to bed. As soon as McCoy is gone and out of earshot, Spock just gets back up and returns to contemplating the puzzle until he has a breakthrough.

Then upon beaming down and finding an injured, still-amnesiac Kirk, Spock mind-melds with him to try and repair his memory.

I am Spock. You are James Kirk. Our minds are moving closer. Closer, closer, closer, James Kirk. Closer. [...] Our minds are one. [...] Spock!

Spock breaks the link and falls back, gasping. When McCoy asks what's wrong, Spock just says:

His mind. He is an extremely dynamic individual.

10— "The Enemy Within" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk has been split into two people, representing each half of his personality: one half is noble, intellectual, and restrained, but cautious and indecisive, while the other is strong and bold, but vicious, selfish, and violent. At this point in the episode, Spock et al don't know about the split, so good!Kirk is oblivious and evil!Kirk's bizarre behavior is being attributed to normal Kirk. McCoy sends Spock to the captain's quarters to find out what's wrong with him.

Spock dutifully goes to Kirk's quarters, where he finds good!Kirk relaxing without a shirt on and promptly realizes he's gay loses the ability to put normal sentences together. It's difficult to overstate or even describe the homoeroticism of this scene, so judge for yourself:

Bonus: after Spock realizes he's dealing with only half of Kirk and has taken up helping him present a good front, he has to keep correcting good!Kirk's weaknesses and tells him that acting like actual Kirk means "You can't afford the luxury of being anything less than perfect."

11— "Errand of Mercy" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk and Spock are trying to pass themselves off as members of a species of ostensibly docile, peaceful people being (ostensibly) colonized by the Klingon Empire. Kirk in particular struggles to keep his head down, and when a Klingon shoves and threatens Spock, Kirk loses his shit and nearly clobbers the Klingon. Spock manages to calm him down and as they walk away, Kirk mutters:

You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?

Spock replies:

I thought you might.

Kirk says:

You're right.

12— "Amok Time" (Season 2)

We all know about this one, let's be real. It's difficult to even choose a moment—Spock confiding in Kirk about Vulcan mating practices (Kirk: O_O) and his loathing of the prospect, with Kirk protecting his confidentiality ("I haven't heard a word you've said"), Kirk defending his own choice to implode his career and defy Starfleet (without breaking Spock's confidence) to rush Spock to Vulcan ("I owe him my life a dozen times over. Isn't that worth a career? He's my friend"), Spock telling Kirk he'll undoubtedly find pon farr "distasteful" and Kirk responding "Will I?", Spock begging T'Pau not to let T'Pring choose Kirk as her champion ("I will do what I must [in combat], T'Pau, but not with him! ... In the name of my fathers, forbid. Forbid! T'Pau. I plead with thee! I beg!"), Spock's bleak response to T'Pau's "live long and prosper" after his victory ("I shall do neither. I have killed my captain and my friend"), Spock explaining that his pon farr vanished the moment he thought he'd killed Kirk ("When I thought I had killed the captain, I found I had lost all interest in T'Pring"), McCoy trying to get Spock to admit that his relief at Kirk's survival is illogical and Spock blatantly lying that he is just concerned with the loss of an effective captain, to which Kirk simply responds "Yes, Mr. Spock. I understand" while McCoy splutters ...

But honestly, my favorite is the brief moment of unrestrained emotion when Spock discovers Kirk is still alive and he cries "Jim!" as his whole face lights up and he grabs him. It's one of the only times in TOS that he's in his right mind and yet too overwhelmed to hide what he feels, and it's famous for a reason.

[stoneybun]

College reader loses motivation due to mental health and struggles to take care of self so schlatt gets in the shower w them and does their hair routine, washes their face and holds them, avoiding their waves lol. (Can you tell its self indulgent?)

Anon are you in my head because this is literally what i've been going thru I'm also catering this to me a bit,, Schlatt x fem reader Everything ached. Your head, shoulders, back, fuck even your eyes ached. It had become a known feeling. You were burning out, if not already there. Schlatt had noticed the signs, subtly trying to help you along the way yet also trying to let you handle yourself. He'd get your products out and lined up for you, even trying to have you start a routine with him in hopes it'd make it easier. But now nothing was working, and he knew he needed to do something about it. You weren't going to go through this alone. Not if he was around. You opened your eyes in response to feeling large hands on your body, gently caressing your sides with a familiar soft warmth against your back. You'd woken up a few times already only to drift back off to sleep, your body forcing itself to shut down. Right now the sensation of being caressed so gently was the only thing keeping you awake; until you feel the familiar sensation of facial hair scratching the sensitive skin of your neck, it being the chops of your boyfriend. "Doll, as beautiful as y' are layin' like this in bed, y' gotta get up," he murmurs against your skin before pressing a few featherlight kisses. You hum, leaning backward and feeling your back press against him, melting into his lazy embrace as he held you from behind. It was only around 11 in the morning on a Saturday, but he was getting antsy. Almost like when Jambo will come loudly meow at you both if his automatic feeder was empty. "Don' wanna move," you groan, eliciting a scoff from him. "Never said y' gotta," he grumbled, making you confused. "Bubba, wh-" He slides his arms to pick you up, one arm hooked under your knees and the other supporting your back as he lifted you up bridal style. He loved carrying you, thinking it was utterly adorable the way your breath hitched, eyes wide as if you never expected him to pick you up. It made your heart flutter as he carried you like you weighed nothing despite your own negative thoughts the always knew just how to dissipate. He gently adjusts you in his arms for a moment before pushing the bathroom door open, kicking it shut behind him before having you sit on top of the closed toilet. "I'm not a baby," you protest with a tired, lopsided grin. His eyes light up a little at the sight of your smile, delighted that he's keeping you happy even in a time like this. "Ehhh, whatever y' say," he quips, a smug grin forming on his face, watching his eyes crinkle for a moment before he turned to turn the shower on, getting the temperature just right. You had instinctively started to stand up after he stepped away from the edge of the shower, lazily leaning your head against the side of his arm. "You didn't have to start a shower for me, y'know," you mumble, honestly feeling a little pathetic with how much you'd been lacking in self-care recently. It was just too much between it all; classes, maintaining social life, assignments and exams that never seemed to end. You thought college would get better over the years, learning to roll with it all, but you only seemed to slip further and further away from being an actual put-together adult. "Started it for us, actually," Schlatt corrected in a playful tone, trying to pull you out of the spiral he knew was bubbling in your mind. You two had showered before, but the proposition still always gave you butterflies. "Oh, um, okay," you stammer, making him shake his head and smile in amusement. "Y' still can't get over how fuckin' hot I am, huh, sweetheart?" he taunts, making your cheeks and ears redden and you huff. "Shut the fuck up," you grumble, making Schlatt bark out a laugh, the two of you shedding your clothes casually. His eyes were glued to you in the process, his gaze full of admiration and longing despite you being about three feet away from him. Can't a guy just be completely enamored by his girl?

The two of you finally get in the shower, Schlatt helping you in first as you let out a pleased groan once the warm water starts to rain down, kissing your skin with a soothing amount of pressure. Schlatt steps in behind you, slowly turning you towards him, guiding you to lean your head back by placing a curled finger under your chin. "Relax, hun. I got'cha," he speaks as his free hand comes up to start running his fingers through your hair, letting the water soak in and further massaging your scalp like he personally was trying to massage the migraine out of you. "I can do it mysel-" you start, bringing a hand up to attempt and grab Schlatt's wrist only to hear him scoff. "Just let me do it, would ya?" he groans, almost sounding needy, like he couldn't bare the thought of not pampering you right now, wanting to see the bliss on your face as he gave you the care you deserved. You finally gave in once he started to lather shampoo into your hair, your eyes fluttering as one of his hands easily could work the product into your hair. The suds were coating your locks and his hand, his other hand was placed on your waist, his grip just hard enough to let you know he wasn't going anywhere. You couldn't help but lean into his body during this. And if you could fall asleep standing, you probably would, the sweet nothings coming from his mouth making your heart swell beyond how it already felt with him caring for you like this, your eyes opening enough to gaze up at the sweet man you had the pleasure of calling your boyfriend. You noticed the way he didn't even catch your gaze, his eyes focused on your hair as he was rinsing the shampoo out and starting to work in conditioner. His hair was flattened, his chocolate curls more evident now that his hair was wet and pressing against his face, chops having water beaded on them, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration. Being lost in your own world of admiring your boyfriend, he blinks upon realizing your warm gaze, making him smile with a flustered nature to it. "Keep lookin' at me like that and we won't leave this damn shower," he grumbles, trying to act like his heart wasn't melting in his chest right now as he reached for the bottle of specific face wash you had, having tried one of those 'catered to you' brands. "That a threat or a promise, bub?" you quip with a snicker, making him roll his eyes fondly. "You'll find out, won't you?" he played along while softly applying the face cleaner to your skin, using his middle and ring fingers and gently massaging you in circular motions. All you could do was giggle, letting his hands work their magic. After rinsing you off, he finally started to wash your body, taking ample amounts of restraint to keep his touch respectful. He knew you wouldn't mind, it just wasn't the time for it. "You're so perfect," he can't help but mutter, almost like it was supposed to stay to himself as his lips pressed to your shoulder, his proximity making your stomach flip despite the fact he's been holding you in place this whole time. The fog in your brain from finally feeling relaxed made it hard to respond, just leaning further into him, practically using him to keep yourself standing. He doesn't comment on that, just finishing the shower with you and shutting the water off once he was convinced the two of you were done. He grabs your robe that he had custom-made for you and helps you slide it on, pressing a kiss to the top of your head despite your hair dripping wet. "Y'want me to brush your hair for ya, doll?"

A/N: I kinda blacked out writing this

[paracosmicka]

As a trans man I love mpreg as long as it’s not fetishized. I want kids in the future so seeing mpreg is like going oh hey! Another seahorse dad! I don’t get to see myself in media much. It makes me uncomfortable when people don’t separate the 2 mpreg can be fetishized but it’s also a thing a lot of transgender afab go through. I know this is a sonadow account and it’s not that deep lol but thanks it’s cool seeing it :) saying that: more plz 🥹

This actually makes me feel so relieved bc another reason why I’m always hesitant to post pregnant Shadow is I’m worried that it can be seen as disrespectful or that if it might be used for fetishization purposes which isn’t really what I’d like my art to be associated with.

I don’t want to kink shame anyone, as an agender aroace person who does not experience any romantic or sexual desire whatsoever (i think? still learning about the different types of experiences within the aroace spectrum) I feel that I am literally the least qualified to talk about the morality behind mpreg as a kink/fetish.

With all that in mind, I do wanna say that I wish there was more transgender pregnancy representation that wasn’t just fetish. Like just googling “pregnancy symptoms” will give you a wide range of experiences, but when I was trying to look into if there were unique ways that pregnancy can effect trans men, it took a lot of digging so either I’m just stupid and can’t search things on the internet very well or there really isn’t a lot of representation of trans pregnancies.

Although I did recently learn that in the r/pregnancy subreddit, FTM does not in fact mean “Female to Male” and is actually just “First Time Mom” which makes a lot of sense bc for awhile I thought half of the subreddit were just trans guys. Then I discovered there is literally a subreddit r/seahorse_dads and so I spent awhile just reading a bunch of posts in there.

Anyway I’m fine just existing in my own space with sonadow family fluff, but when I share it I get all nervous bc mpreg is cringefail or whatever and I don’t even know if it’s cringe for being cringe or if it’s cringe bc it’s a fetish. Just know that whenever I post any art of any kind, I try to think as little as possible about how people will interpret my drawings, bc at the end of the day I just drew it because it made me happy and thinking about sonadow fluff gives me warm and fuzzy butterflies that I think people are supposed feel when they’re in love but I’ve never experienced that for another person in my entire life and I don’t think I’ll be able to. So thinking about and drawing sonadow is probably the closest I’ll get to that feeling.

And it makes me even more happy when people say they genuinely connected with my art bc then I know that the warm and fuzzy butterflies feeling got through, and I’m just really glad we can all get our little serotonin boost from these stupid gay hedgehogs.

I genuinely don’t think any of this makes sense I’ve spent 3 hours trying to write a response to this ask and then I remembered that I got zero sleeps last night so that’s probably why brain no worky but in conclusion: thank you for the ask Anon it really made my day and I’m spiritually headbutting you like a cat as they say

[katyawriteswhump]

love and other catastrophes at the Omega Cafe (4.2/8)

Aaaaand here's part 2 💚 💚 💚 

Summary: Steve is a runaway Omega who gets a job at an Omega café, where he’s basically paid to curl up and purr in Alphas’ laps. It’s legal, and he earns a living, rents his own place. He’s getting along fine for a packless Omega. Then Alpha rockstar Eddie Munson turns up for an hour of ‘kitty’ petting, and shatters Steve’s fragile little world…

Rating: E; No major warnings; Tags: omega steve, alpha eddie, a/b/o dynamics, fluff and angst, sexual content 💚 

Chapter 1 on tumblr (also index post) Chapter 2 on tumblr Chapter 3.1 Chapter 3.2 Chapter 4.1

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Chrissy watched Eddie like a hawk as he approached the chais-longue, and…

…dropped to one knee in front of it.

Steve’s jaw dropped.

“Steve,” said Eddie. “I’m sorry. It seems there’s a lot you don’t know about me. Did I tell you that impulse-control wasn’t my strength?"

“I think it’s better than mine,” mumbled Steve, dipping his gaze. Eddie’s sweetness and sincerity was as crushing as anything. Especially as this was undoubtedly, a ‘I’m off, have a nice life, Omega,’ kind of speech. “I’m really sorry. I made a complete moron of myself.”

“No, you didn’t.” Eddie’s hand hovered over Steve’s, which rested, still trembling, on his knee. At the spark of near contact, Steve looked up sharply. “May I?” asked Eddie.

“Uh, yeah?”

Eddie took Steve’s hand properly in his large, warm, wet one, setting Steve’s senses reeling giddily.

“Steve, I had no idea my music would trigger you like… that. I ran, because…” He shook his head, scattering a fresh spray of raindrops into Steve, who shuddered. “Look, I am used to taking what I want, when I want. It’s not a great way to go about life. I’ve been working on that, I swear. Tonight, I… ahem, I guess, you tempted me a little too far, Honey. I almost took something I shouldn’t have.”

“I guess.” Eddie’s damp thumb chafed his hand, and Steve struggled not to cry. Eddie had come to the café for relaxation, not sex. Steve had proven himself a wanton little hussy, one that didn’t even know what he was doing. Clearly Eddie had figured that out, and now this was over. His brain was so busy catastrophising, it took a moment for it to process what Eddie was actually saying:

“Steve, I’ve never felt a pull to an Omega like I’ve felt toward you. You deserve to be courted properly.”

Steve’s chin snapped up: “Say what?”

“I would like to court you, Steve.” Eddie’s gaze captured Steve’s and held it. “Is that something you would consider?”

“Yes… yes! I’d like that very much.”

OMG OMG OMG!

Steve whiplashed from misery to undiluted joy. If he hadn’t been so stunned, he would’ve unleashed the highest, most excited squeal of his life. Chrissy, however, was doing that job for him— transformed from killer-kitty to a bundle of bouncing, jingling excitement.

Steve blinked hard. Okay, reality check. He dabbed beneath his eyes, because his mascara must be wrecked: “Are you on the level? You don’t know anything about me.”

“You know nothing about me.” Eddie chuckled gently. “It’s one of the many things I adore about you.”

ADORE! HE ADORES ME! OMG HE IS LITERALLY TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

“I’m a runaway,” blurted out Steve. He felt he needed to share something, to at least prod at the barriers remaining between then.

“Stevie, everyone has a history. You need to know mine soon enough, and then you can tell me everything when you’re ready—in your own time.”

“You know that… um, I’m… m-maybe not as innocent as you think,” he stammered.

“I wouldn’t give a damn either way, my darling.”

With that Eddie planted a tender kiss on the back of Steve’s hand, and Steve finally squealed with pure happiness. If Chrissy hadn’t been there, he would probably have thrown himself at Eddie and begged to be mated, there and then.

Instead, he tumbled forward into a relatively chaste hug, while Chrissy looked on, giggling and clenching her fists in excitement.

When she finally scooted off, Steve snuggled up in Eddie’s lap. He buried his face in the crook of Eddie’s neck, finally breathing deeply of Eddie’s scent without pain. Steve was so calm now, so relaxed—unbelievably so, given how revved he’d been earlier. It was like a dream, one he still hardly believed was real.  The heat rolling from Eddie seemed to set any dampness remaining on his clothes and skin sizzling.  He rocked Steve and soothed him, and then, too soon, he husked in Steve’s ear:

“I’m gonna call two Ubers, Baby. One to take me home for a cold shower, and another one for you. I’ll hit you up with ideas for our first date. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”  Short of clinging to Eddie’s lap like a kitty with its claws in. Eddie passed Steve his phone, and Steve fumbled his number in. “I’m uh, off tomorrow… afternoon… evening… literally whenever.”

Steve would blow off any shift to be courted by Eddie. They shared a dopey grin, till Eddie’s melted into a slight grimace. He reached behind himself and plucked Steve’s kitty ears from between the cushions. “I wondered what that was digging into my butt.”

He slid them back onto Steve’s hair then rose, stooping to kiss the tip of Steve’s nose before he left. Steve waited till the door closed softly to kick his bare feet madly and press his knuckles to his lips to smother his most excited squeal yet.

On the journey home, the driver bitched that Steve was stinking out his vehicle. Then stopped bitching abruptly, and thanked Steve for the generous tip, which must’ve come through from Eddie’s Uber account.

Steve fizzed with excitement even at that. Maybe Eddie’s driver had complained too! It was out of this world! How could anybody provoke such a strong reaction in him? He’d not even skipped any blockers! The whisper from the depths of his soul excited and scared him in equal measures.

It’s because he’s your soulmate… Woah, Harrington, seriously? Even if he deigned to mate you, it’s not like he can marry you…

Steve was too excited to listen to the demons. Before he’d got home, Eddie texted suggesting a meal at his place the following night. His uncle would be there, and he suggested Steve brought a ‘friend/chaperone.’

He burst through his front door and instantly called Robin. He told her everything in a garbled rush.

Including exactly who Eddie was.

When he finally shut up, her silence deafened. “Robin? Did I bore you to death or have you ODd over there?”

“Don’t move!” she screamed, setting him yelping. “I’m coming over. Now. Don’t… just DON’T!”

“Don’t what, Robin? I—"

She hung up. Ooookay. That was weird. What was he not supposed to do? He was reluctant to shower, but he fitted in a quick one, because she’d given him the jitters. He was towel drying his hair, when she let herself in. She rushed over, braced his shoulders and shook him.

“Steve! Do you know anything about Eddie Munson? Anything at all?”

“I know he’s a rockstar. Carol mentioned something about him being a ‘bad-boy’ but that’s part of the gig. Um, Robin… you’re hurting me.”

“Shit, sorry.” She lessened her bruising grip, steering Steve over and sitting him down on his bed. “Steve, you need to listen. Eddie Munson is more than a ‘bad-boy.’ He’s in and out of rehab like a yoyo. His last stint was, like, a month ago. They managed to keep it relatively hush-hush, but it’s an open secret if you look on social media. Even if he’s no longer off-his-head on cocaine, or whatever nasty shit, he apparently drinks like a fish and—”

“Sssstop it!” Steve hissed, shaking himself free from her lingering clutch. “He drinks coffee, Robin.”

“So do we all! Especially after a night out boozing! Seriously, Steve?” Spotting the angry tears in his eyes, she softened her tone and sat down beside him: “Listen, Eddie Munson gets through sexual partners like you get through double espressos. Rumour has it that his latest rehab stint was for sex addiction.”

He let that little bombshell percolate through him.

She squeezed his knee. “I’m not sure you should go tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m going!” He slammed her with a glare, lip hitching slightly. Truth was, he heard her. He didn’t care: “I want you to come with me tomorrow. Listen, he’s renting a place in the swishest part of the Alpha quarter. I know how you mainline all those ‘Ultra-Alpha my Pad’ property shows—that’s your addiction, huh?”

She crinkled her nose. “You’re really dead set on this? Ugh, I suppose at least you’re not lying to me this time!”

“I’m sorry about that. All I know is how he makes me feel. Tonight, I practically threw myself at him! I was out of control. He could’ve done what he pleased with me, taken whatever he wanted. Instead, he asked if he could court me. Why should I believe all that crap about him, when he’s been nothing other than a perfect gentleman?”

“Uuuuuugh!” She pulled him into a hug, which set his heart glowing. His mind raced ahead to some dream future where Eddie and Robin were besties, the stars aligned, and the whole world was as one.

A world where when Eddie whispered the word ‘home,’ it referred to a nest.

Steve’s nest. Their nest.

The anxious grit in her tone threw him, ever-so-slightly: “Just this once, Dingus. I don’t care if he’s a rockstar Alpha or Prince fucking Charming. If he hurts you in any way, if he makes you sick… I’m literally gonna rip his throat out.”

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We'll be on to date night soooon, I promise 💚 If you enjoyed, every little like and reblog or comment means a lot to me so thank you💚

I am always happy to tag, pls let me know, or you can follow the tag #steddie omega cat cafe 💚

tags 💚🐈‍⬛💚 @disrespectedgoatman 💚 @bumblebeecuttlefishes

@katethetank 💚 @themoonagainstmers 💚 @chaotic-waffle 💚

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[irlplasticlamb]

i was wondering if you could maybe post some old art of your i'm curious how your style evolved!

sure thing! i am so sorry for the TERRIBLE quality but my old laptop doesn’t want to boot up so i had to screenshot these off my instagram

omg this piece is from like 2018 — it’s cherry kills! an amazing drag artist, she noticed me and i literally cried that day LMAO i was so honoured

okay i’m cheating a little because it’s a painting (and a terrible one too) but i did a little series of elton paintings back in the day and recording my painting process got me like uhh around 20k followers on tiktok

will graham as the may queen :) can you imagine that i (a person who ADORES lineart now and struggles with colouring) used to do extremely limited lineart for a while???? INSANE but also shows you how crazy your art journey can get

2DOC!! i did a really fun lineart technique then when i would do a base sketch then refine it a little and then erase parts of it (i selected the background which would catch parts of the sketch as well! didn’t do it manually because i was too lazy lol) i actually love the colours in this one they’re so vibrant

one of the first pieces i did on procreate! (i previously used a wacom tablet and paint tool sai)

this is michael de santa from gta v except his design is super heavily influenced by my headcanons hahah

MY OCS!!!! i don’t draw my ocs often because i feel like no one gives a fuck about them but this was a big post with most of my ocs for this little story i have in my head! it’s about an 80s metal band! jeff is the main vocalist and bassist and richard is the band’s manager!!! they’re incredibly toxic and in obsessive love with each other i miss them

DREAM DADDY!!!!!!! ART!!!!! ATTACK!!!!! ok so real talk mary is one of my favourite female characters to ever exist and also robert/joseph robert/mary and mary/joseph is one of my most beloved toxic awful love concoction ever i have so many headcanons

uh yeah…… yeah i did do some among us fanart. listen to be free is to be cringe!!!! pandemic was an incredibly hard time for me and these two made me happy! it’s a black crewmate / pink impostor type of situation

oh yes i love danganronpa too….. junko is actually my fav character (fork found in kitchen) but i adore celesgami so much (especially aus in which they’re really EVIL and TERRIBLE)

……. YEAH I WAS A CORPSE HUSBAND STANNIE

AND I STILL DO MISS HIS STREAMS

+ continued in a reblog

[letmebeyourcrrsh]

can't just forget

bully!seungmin x reader

warnings: just a few scenes of teasing to evil jokes, some curse words

genre: enemies to lovers

summary: you and seungmin hate each other. since day one in college, he choose you to be his target. no matter how bad you try, you cant even escape him. until one day, something in him had changed…

every hallway at college felt like an obstacle course for you. and it wasn’t just because of the usual school drama or the random students judgy faces—it was seungmin. seungmin, with his cruel teasing, who made sure that every single moment you spent at college would ruin your day.

“Y/N, did you seriously wear that?” seungmin’s voice echoed through the hall as you walked past him. he was leaning against a locker, surrounded by his group of friends, all of them waiting for his next punchline. “you do know that no man would ever look at you, looking homeless like that, right? you look like you just rolled out of bed.”

laughter erupted from his group. it was always the same. it didn’t matter what you wore, how you looked, or how hard you worked on your assignments. seungmin found a way to poke fun at everything you did.

“shut up, seungmin,” you muttered, your eyes fixed ahead as you tried to escape his gaze.

but that only seemed to encourage him. “oh, come on, I’m just giving you some advice. maybe next time, you’ll at least try to look presentable.”

your heart pounded. you had gotten used to his teasing by now, used to the way he made you feel small.

you quickened your pace, walking faster, but as you turned the corner, you felt a hand grab your wrist, pulling you back.

 “are you in that much of a rush to get away from me?” seungmin’s voice was more teasing than usual, and his grip tightened, though not in a way that hurt.

you jerked your arm free. “let go of me. asshole.”

seungmin stared at you, the usual smirk on his face, but there was something different in his eyes. for a second, just a second, the teasing facade faltered, and you thought you saw something else—something softer, almost apologetic. but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

“fine, fine. no need to get all dramatic. brat.” he let go of your arm and leaned back against the lockers, watching you walk away. “don’t take everything so seriously, Y/N. It’s just a joke.”

a joke. that’s how he always framed it. as though the hurt you felt was just some silly thing to laugh off. but you didn’t laugh. you never did.

that night, you layed in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to push the words seungmin had said earlier out of your head. why did his insults still sting? you hated how much they affected you, how they always seemed to worm their way into your thoughts. you hated him.

all these years you had been surviving him.. it started off as harmless jokes. he used to joke with everyone, every of his classmates, so back then you didn’t take his jokes serious. until these harmless jokes started to get more cruel… often pointing out your insecurities. and not only did you have to deal with his words, but sometimes even with his pranks.. either you walked into the classroom, just for a water bucket to fall on your head. or he even went so far, ruining your clothes with paint. sometimes made you trip here and there…

he just could never leave you alone. and you just cant understand… why you.

the next day, you were walking to your next class when you saw seungmin by the lockers, his back turned to you. You tried to sneak by without him noticing, but of course, he turned just as you passed, his eyes landing on you immediately.

“well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite Y/N” seungmin smirked, stepping into your path. “why looking so serious? just not trying to make your life more miserable than it already is?”

you narrowed your eyes. “what’s your problem, seungmin?”

he tilted his head, his smirk fading slightly. “what’s my problem? I’m just calling you out, that’s all. am tired of the way you act. you literally should be happy I am wasting my time on you.”

you felt your temper rising, the words you had held back for so long threatening to spill. “if you’re so tired of me, why don’t you just leave me alone?”

“because you're always so boring. that attitude, it gets under my skin. makes me want to—”

before he could finish, you cut him off. “what is it you want, seungmin? what do you get from making my life a living hell?”

“just shut up, Y/N. I don’t have time for your whining. you’re always so dramatic.”

you stared at him, feeling both furious and confused. “I don’t get you, seungmin. I don’t get you at all.”

with that, you walked away, leaving him standing there.

a long time had passed. everyday it kept going as usual…seungmin teasing you, not leaving you alone, literally just being a pain in the ass.

until one day.. you couldn’t take it no more. there had just been to much of seungmin. so much, that you literally couldn’t leave your dorm no more. you had called in sick. and had stayed in you room like this for almost 2 weeks now. everything that had been learned in the day, was send to you by some classmates. you just studied in your room, really couldn’t step out to face seungmin no more.. until you couldn’t call in sick no more. and it

it was pure luck… you returned back to classes, and seungmin wasn’t even there today. Best day ever. however, later that afternoon, as you sat in the library trying to focus on your studies, you felt a familiar presence. you instinctively turned your head, only to find seungmin standing at the edge of the table, his gaze fixed on you.

“what do you want?” you asked, your voice icy.

seungmin hesitated, his lips parting as though he was about to say something, but the words caught in his throat. “I just wanted to apologize,” he finally mumbled.

you blinked in surprise, chuckled in disbelief and glared at him. must be another prank now. “you what?”

seungmin shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “I’ve been an idiot. I don’t know how else to say it.”

you stared at him, with even more hate now... “you’ve been hurting me for YEARS. and now you want to apologize? quick this shit. I aint playing along with another prank. just leave me alone seungmin! you keep ruining my life! I. hate. you.”

he looked at you, his eyes dark with something you couldn’t quite decipher. “when you disappeared- I really thought I went to far.. and- and i- I was worried, because you were just suddenly gone, and I didn’t know what happened- and I started to feel extremely weird because what if..-,” you interrupted him with a laugh. “ if you thought I would do something to myself just because you moron have nothing better to do, than to ruin my life, then you are wrong. “

 “I am sorry- I just don’t know how to deal with... this. with you. with how I feel.”

you groaned. “what are you talking about?!”

seungmin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, but I... I like you, Y/N. and I know it sounds stupid. I’ve been making you miserable because I’m too afraid to admit it to myself. I thought it would be easier if I would be hurting you.. I thought it would just stop with the feelings- but when u disappeared. it drove me insane, knowing I am one who actually causes a lot of pain.”

 “wait, what?” you stammered. “you like me? seungmin.. do you even hear yourself!?”

seungmin nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor in embarrassment and guilt. “yeah. I know it sounds horrible, but I’ve been... so stupid. I’ve been so terrified of it, so I made you hate me. I thought if I made you mad enough, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way anymore.”

you stood there, stunned. you didn’t know what to say. you only wanted to scream at him for everything he’d put you through, for the pain he caused, for the way he always made you feel small.

 “I don’t know what to say,” you finally whispered. “you’ve been horrible to me, seungmin. really horrible. I don’t know how to just... forget all of that. I cant forgive you. cant just pretend everything is okey. I only want you to leave me alone. forever. I truly hate you seungmin. ”

this is the end of this part!! but dont worry. afterall this is enemies to lovers,

so if this story hits 100 notes then ill be writing a part 2!

other than that. hope you enjoyed this crazy story

[egophiliac]

IT WAS ERIC AFTER ALL!!!! I'm so glad we got to meet him (before Vil snaps him away with those Infinity Gauntlets) (can't wait to see what happens when we get the matching Infinity Tiara to go with them, there will be no survivors)

(sorry to be so slow/rough lately, just got a lot of stuff on the ol' brain at the moment! alas, if only I could spend all my time drawing incredibly stupid characters I mean I do but)

[unriding]

me n moze say good morning to the world !!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

art by @rabbbitseason of course <3

[jayktoralldaylong]

You know who they did the dirtiest in Arcane? Apart from Vander that is.

The answer is Mel. My baby girl lost her two boyfriends and I'm tired of pretending like I'm okay about it.

She gave everything to their dream.

"She wanted to use them." YES! At first! At first she thought they were a great investment. Then she came to love them with more sincerity and more care than many other relationships in the show. Sure some of the toxic things she'd learnt from her home tended to seep into the relationship, but she did everything she could to prune that away.

She loved them. She poured everything into their dream. Everything into helping Jayce get rid of Heimerdinger when he wanted to ban the research that could help Viktor, everything to help them both vote for peace and make the council decision unanimous. Everything to get back to them, after getting kidnapped! 🥺 After going through every version of hell, she immediately gravitated to where she would find them, 😭 find the only loves that had ever accepted her without necessarily demanding anything in return.

And Riot just took that away. And I'm tired of acting like I'm okay with it.

I'm tired of everyone saying Mel deserves better than Jayce and Viktor, tired of people shipping her with people she's never met (especially when the aim is just to give her someone who is not Jayce or Viktor), I'm tired of the strong independent black woman stereotype following Mel around when it's the LAST thing that she wants when she only just learnt to be soft with Jayce and open with her heart once again. I am tired of people calling her a manipulator as if her character arc ended there, as if she did not unlearn toxic love and traded it for the gentle bond she then had with her two favourite scientists.

I'm tired of people not acknowledging that she had to leave Piltover, not just because the Medarda family needed her, but also because her boys were gone. The family she had finally made for herself, the family she was willing to abandon her family name for. They're gone and I don't think Riot will ever be kind enough to give them back to her.

Everyone else, even Ekko sort of has a family to fall back to. Mel has successfully lost everyone. The fact that Lest is the closest person to Mel left says way too much about how awful this whole situation is.

And I am TIRED, I am so sick and TIRED, of people acting like she did not love Jayce and Viktor. I am so sick and tired of people acting like Jayce did not love her. It probably hurt him too to leave her behind.

The tragedy of them is that Jayce knew Mel still had the chance to refind her feet, but Viktor had only ever had Jayce, and Jayce would NEVER leave Viktor alone. And it hurts that Mel probably wished she could have gone with them, because now she has to start everything from scratch and barely anyone in the fandom acknowledges that side of her pain and I HATE IT!

(Jayce might have been created for Viktor in League Lore, but Mel was created for Jayce. 🥺😭 Mel was created to love Jayce and they took her baby away.) #HappyHare(Mel)WhereHaveYouBuriedAllYourChildren?TellMeSoISay😭

[javierduffy]

but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore

[red-moon-at-night]

I find it so SO interesting that as soon as Kazui's breaking their marriage vows and revealing his true feelings (literally tearing apart the dove), the wife is already falling off the balcony

Her hair is fluttering in the wind. The apple fucking splatters on the ground this whole sequence is so visceral I'm spinning it around in my mind. Kazui views his truth telling as a violent act, the killing blow.