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itoldsunset · 3 years ago

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ipytm episode 3 thoughts (very very long), take it or leave it. i have a lot of asks in my inbox and honestly i'm overwhelmed (there are a lot of feelings about this episode that i'm not prepared to hold because i am processing my own) so i don't think i'll get to them, but here are my reactions after thinking about it for a bit.

i kind of wonder what my reaction to episode 3 would have been had i stayed off of social media all day yesterday. my mindset going into ipytm was, "i don't want a cheating plot, but if there is one, i trust nadao to handle it well" because they're responsible for some of the best writing i've ever seen in thai television. i still believe that. i wish they hadn't chosen the cheating plot because there are other relationship conflicts to explore that don't involve cheating, but for me it's not a dealbreaker.

i disagree with critiques saying they did it for ratings or sensationalism. if anything, they lost viewers from this. people are not okay with cheating plots, and the team most likely knew this when they wrote it. yet they took that gamble anyway, which makes me want to believe they have something they want to say, and i'm waiting until the series ends to give my final judgment on whether they succeeded in that message.

i watched the episode live and saw thai fans' live reactions on twitter, then i spent the morning checking everyone's reactions here on tumblr. as of right now, thai twitter has not stopped insulting the director, the writers, and the company. the backlash is harsher than anything i've seen from international fans (i'm leaving it at that so please don't ask me). pretty much everyone hated what happened this episode, which i understand. but i don't think it means that it was lazy writing or that teh was out of character. i definitely think there's a problem, though, if the majority of viewers are feeling alienated from the show, because it means something went wrong along the way with the storytelling.

it is totally possible and in character for teh to cheat on oh-aew, because you can love someone with your whole heart and still hurt them and betray them (to be clear, it's still not okay). and it is totally possible for teh to have done something as shitty as this and still grow up to be a decent person in the end. this is where the time jumps become an issue for me. we left episode two with teh crying because he was afraid of losing oh-aew, and then we land in his third year where he's seemingly indifferent to oh-aew. but we weren't part of that journey, and the storytelling didn't lead us there emotionally. all we see is oh-aew being a super dedicated partner who is trying to salvage their relationship, while teh is completely distant and seems to have given up altogether.

i get it, he's insecure about his career and the possibility that he might end up like khim, and jai is the last thing he has to latch on to his now-more-elusive dream of becoming an actor. he's barely thinking about oh-aew and he's incapable of being a good partner right now, especially since oh-aew's success and happiness in advertising probably makes teh doubt himself even more. he's so in his head he's not even himself anymore. he has completely lost who he is, which is why he seems so foreign to us here. the objective facts are all there, but the emotional connection to make me empathize with him isn't, which is why all the shitty things he did this episode--juxtaposed against all the wonderful things oh-aew did--make him come across as such an exceptionally terrible person. and the thing is i know he still loves oh-aew. in the sex scene, he still clearly loves oh-aew. sure it was initiated by a desire to improve his acting for jai, but during the sex and the morning after, the love and affection for oh-aew are still there. teh just doesn't recognize it because all he sees is oh-aew having left him for better (a new career track he's happy with and doing well in, a group of friends who understand and support him) while teh remains stuck in the same loop holding on to jai as his last hope, which is why he's giving jai his everything. none of that makes any of it okay, but it makes it make sense.

i wish they had spent more time developing this internal conflict so that we could see it better, because it was only after rewatching it a couple of times, sitting on it, and reading people's reactions that i could begin to understand where teh is at in this episode. and i know we like that itsay gave us a lot to analyze, but i think ipytm has tried to jam too much into too few episodes that it ends up leaving the audience with blanks to fill in, which is a bit more work than i want to do when i'm enjoying a series. i think teh and jai got too much screen time, and teh and oh-aew not enough. i think there's a lot of insider stuff about drama/comm arts that's taking up space, which might resonate with folks who come from that field but not the majority of the audience who don't speak that language. i think if they had given more time to exploring teh and oh-aew's relationship, we wouldn't be seeing as much of this backlash.

a cheating plot doesn't make it cheap drama. i would happily watch a series that tackles infidelity in relationships because it is a super real topic with lots to explore: how does a couple navigate the aftermath of infidelity? can they rebuild trust, and how? what are the consequences to the relationship? all of these are important things to address, but the topic deserves a lot more space than a five-episode series can deliver, especially when it's combined with teh and oh-aew's other conflicts related to career, ambition, and other coming of age struggles. so for me it's not the cheating plot that's the problem but more so the fact that i don't think there's enough time for them to do it justice.

all that said, i think there's a tension here between a creator's creative vision and audience expectations, and i think this is an example of the showmakers maybe going too far in their vision to the point of alienating the audience. itsay is a comfort show and teh is a comfort character for a lot of us, and it's justifiable that folks are upset at the turn he's taken in ipytm. i'm also disappointed that it seems like teh remains the main character in ipytm while oh-aew's role has been reduced, because i can tell pp's acting has really improved and i would have loved to see more of him on the screen. the cheating storyline also makes it a lot harder to root for teh and oh-aew, and that honestly hurts the audience and affects our relationship to the show, and is another consequence of the writers choosing to go in that direction.

for me personally, itsay was full of angst but it gave me joy to watch because i loved watching teh and oh-aew fall in love with each other and i was rooting for them to overcome their obstacles to be together. ipytm has proven a lot more stressful to watch, where it doesn't spark that same joy but a lot more anxiety about "what's next," which was definitely a choice in setting the mood of the sequel. the material just doesn't work with the audience's emotions in the same way, it almost works against us. there's not the same sense of comfort and nostalgia and romance, but a darker realism of coming of age, and i wouldn't blame people for dropping off for that because it's a legitimate shift and doesn't match everyone's tastes in terms of the media they want to consume. i think we can hate the choices that were made here because they don't speak to our demands as an audience, but i wouldn't say they did it for the drama or for the ratings.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #itsay #i told sunset about you #bkpp the series #ipytm spoilers #textpost

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save-the-data · 3 years ago

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I PROMISED YOU THE MOON DOCUMENTARY (FIRST STEPS) | s02e02

As we prepare for Ep 2 tonight. Link in title.

The recording of Safe Zone (find a man that looks at you like Billkin looks at PP).

The throwback to the underwater kiss in season one, except now in front of public eyes. The rock-paper-scissors game to decide who buys the condom (XD). And of course the first scene where Oh-aew shows his anxiety and fear about the future, compared to Teh’s excitement and completely worry free demeanour. It really sets up the feelings of both characters, and future conflicts in their relationship.

#tDrama #IPYTM #BKPP #I Promised You the Moon #I Promised You the Moon: Documentary #PP Krit #Billkin Putthipong #Thai Drama

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figula · 3 years ago

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therapy recap + some more indepth Feelings -

realised I never actually said about last week’s therapy on here

i went into some detail about some other stuff that hadn’t come up the week before: my long-term self harm, which i told her that i wasn’t particularly bothered by, but that seems like teh sort of thing you should probably bring up - and she didn’t argue with me. i explained my reasoning and she sort of nodded + seemed reasonably satisfied. this is encouraging to me: i can’t stand it when MH people are really scandalised about self-harm

she prodded at some of my plug thoughts - noted the inconsistencies, asked if I had had any traumatic experiences with fire (no), have i ever been badly burned (no), etc. then she asked how i am in a thunderstorm - am i afraid of the electricity then? i said no - in a thunderstorm i love it, and i asked her whether she remembered the thunderstorm a few years ago where the sky kept flooding w/ white light - it was amazing. me and ben went out to watch it in hte middle of a field. it did freak me out when we were there but not bc of the fire potential, but bc it was really, really intense - and that seems a fairly normal response to intense weather situations when you are outside with no cover. she said she did remember it. she said she watched it from her window. anyway: she noted that it was incongruent that my fear of plugs pertains to a fear of fire, but that there’s no real reason for me to have chosen fire as one of my things. which is true, i’m just not sure where to go w/ that. bc there’s a lot of things that my obsessions grab onto, and i don’t think any of them have real “reasons” for it. she suggested maybe a desire to control things that i feel are within my control (which feels a bit cliché lol) and also asked how i am w/ tolerating uncertainty. (”bad” is the answer) she asked me if i unplug things during the day (no), whether i unplug everything (no - i leave the fridge on + ana’s things that im not allowed to unplug) and asked me the perameters for the unplugging (just before i go to bed, at night, in the dark. if i go to bed at 7/8am, which is not hugely unusual for me, the need to unplug things completely disappears) i don’t know what any of this means. i don’t know if i care what it means. i just want to move forward.

Feelings:

feel a bit shit today - woke up feeling very anxious + had anxiety diarrhoea (posted earlier lol sry) then bc i was feeling anxious immediately went to weigh myself (lol hmm). i thought i’d be fine re: ana but im not really, i don’t like the temporary shift in dynamic, i don’t like being in charge of stuff, the medical vibe of the whole thing makes me very anxious, i fucking hate having to do the shit that triggers all my obsessive contamination thoughts, and i know it’ll be fine + this is gonna be the hardest bit of the entire process (bc obviously healing is fairly linear and after about 4-5 days the discomfort should be MUCH improved, and it’s already been 3) + that it’s fundamentally Not About Me lol and like it is what it is. it’s like 100% fine + im fucking delighted that ana got the surgery! im thrilled for them, and ALL of this discomfort is my own responsibility to deal w/ - ana is my best friend in the world + i am not gonna let my own insanities mean that they dont get to heal properly + appropriately.

so that’s that. i seriously juts need to get it together, and i know i will, it’s ok. like im seriously not doing very much extra at all, it’s just the entire situation that is setting me off, and as i said and entirely mean, it’s my own responsibility to deal w/ the feelings

i think im just constantly stressed atm (altho much better than i was a few months back, so i need to keep remembering that whilst i always struggle to put things in perspective, im objectively doing fine + good), im fed up w/ my mum’s awful cruelty, im fed up w/ my dad’s inability to see it, im fed up w/ the fact that my sister is 100% gonna come out of hospital in a few months + immediately start starving herself again. she asked if she could come here and i literally just want to say no, i want to cut myself off from my entire family at this point. but i know i cant - my sister’s done nothing wrong, and i cant/wont abandon her, but my god the whole situation makes me feel absolutely fucking feral w/ anger / terror / jealousy / frustration

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writingsbychlo · 4 years ago

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let me down slow (03)

word count; 6723

summary; mitch comes over to see you, and while teh day may not go as planned, it leads to some pretty important revelations on your behalf.

notes; this is a little softer, but its a good transitional part.

warnings; none, really. just period cramps, and all that sucky stuff.

Since that night, your phone had never been silent for too long. Apparently, you and Mitch had a lot to talk about, and a lot to debate. You may have had your similarities, but you had your differences too. Like that fact that despite both him and Stiles being on lacrosse teams, you still thought football was more entertaining, but weren’t actually a huge fan of either.

You had spent more nights up late in the dark, fingers moving over the keyboards as you talked to him, more than you had spoken to someone new in a long time, and yet it was only ever relaxed and calm. You never had that anxiety you got when staying up late into the night to talk to a boy on the phone, you were just talking to your friend, and getting to know him in a way that you never thought you would. You had each other’s numbers but had quickly swapped snapchat names too, and you almost regretted it when he began to send a lot of long video messages as he told you what was going on at every point of the day, before realising you actually liked knowing what he was up to, even if it was just three minutes of watching him walk through the supermarket to find milk and complaining about queues.

Those videos had quickly become late nights calls, the two of you video chatting or sitting on a call for hours, until the night was late and you went back to texting, before falling asleep. On more nights than you could count in the last three weeks, you had woken up with your phone in your hand or on the pillow beside you, and had to plug it in to charge in the middle of the night before falling asleep again.

The sex had been ongoing too, the two of you taking every chance you had to sneak around, and every time had been completely and utterly earth-shattering.

Sometimes that included you showing up at the Stilinski household at times you knew Stiles was going out, claiming to forget and say you’d just head home, waving him off like the dutiful best friend on the doorstep before letting Mitch drag you into the house and have your clothes off before you reached the bedroom. Or, it involved that mysterious and fittingly sexy SUV he owned pulling up outside of your house just after your parents had left for work in the mornings, so that he could press you into the kitchen counter and fuck you over your dining room table, before the two of you crashed on the couch to take a break.

Mitch knew exactly what he was doing, and the two of you had indulged in a fair amount of experimenting. You’d let him blindfold you with one of the smart ties from the back of his closet door that was saved for special occasions, and he’d shown up smirking and pressing a pair of handcuffs into your hands that he’d taken from his father’s office.

Your world had gotten a whole lot bigger since Mitch Stilinski had stepped into it, and it was a whole lot brighter too. It was like the sun had been brought closer just by his presence, he felt like summer; warm and bright and full of promises.

Which is exactly why you felt so awful when you swung your door open, looking at him standing on the other side optimistically, a bright smile on his face as he held up a bag of Chinese food in one hand, wiggling his eyebrows at you suggestively.

“I brought dinner. I was feeling gentlemanly tonight, figured I’d feed you before fucking your brains out.” You let out a gentle laugh at his words, but didn’t step out of the doorway, your hands clenching around the wood a little.

“I can’t. Not tonight.”

His face fell a little, and you shifted yourself, your face screwing up a little at the pain that spread along your body, starting at your lower back, letting out a low sigh as the worst of it passed, and he raised his brows a little. “Is it because I didn’t call first? I just figured it would be alright because you said you were spending the day inside today, and I didn’t want you to be lonely, and I kinda’ figured that was a hint, which I guess it wasn’t, but s-”

“It’s not you, Mitch, I promise.” His jaw snapped shut, and he looked adorably confused for only a moment, before his eyes moved down your body, settling on your stomach before flicking back up, gaze fixing on yours in silent question, and you nodded your confirmation, rubbing at your lower stomach and letting out a pained whimper as a particularly rough round of cramps set in.

You figured he’d just leave, and so you fixed him with the best smile you could, despite the pain, but instead, he was taking a half step closer to you, the smell of food reaching your nose as the bag rustled, and he held it out a little closer to you, offering it out for the taking. “How about I let you have the extra spring rolls, and I’ll rub your stomach for you. We can watch some movies if you want.”

“I.. um, you know there will be no sex, right?” He let out a laugh at your words, shaking his head and rolling his eyes in a way that made you smile too.

“I know. Periods seem like they suck, and I was looking forward to seeing you anyway, so it doesn’t really matter what we do. We can even watch a romantic movie like ‘The Notebook’ or something, whatever you want.”

“We can watch an action movie.” Taking the bag from him, you opened the door up a little wider to let him through, not missing his mumbled ‘thank god’, at not having to watch something sappy, simply stepping out of the way as he moved into the house, and taking the familiar path he had learned well towards your kitchen as you followed.

“Want me to get plates and cutlery, and you can go sit back down?”

“That would be awesome.” You sighed, not even bothering to see his reply before you were making your way back to the stairs and up to your bedroom, the heating pad you’d left discarded on your bed was waiting for you, calling you back to it as you crawled back under your covers, grumbling to yourself as it made your body ache from the change in positions, before you were settling in the pillows and lifting the heated bundle back up to press to your abdomen, a happy sigh leaving you.

“Really bad, huh?” Mitch nudged the door shut behind him with his foot, carrying plates and cutlery in one hand, with two glasses in the other and a large bottle of chilled water under his arm. “I didn’t know if you had a drink but I figured you’d want one.”

“Do you know that you’re an angel? Like a blessing. A saint.”

He grinned, placing the plates before you and taking the bag from where it was left discarded beside you, kicking his shoes off as he came to sit next to you on the bed. Opening up all of the containers and balancing them in the bedding carefully so they didn’t tip over, he listed off each thing he got, your eyes fixed on him as he did, until he was screwing up the bag and looking up at you expectantly as he held an empty plate that would be yours once it was filled.

“You got all the things I like.”

“Not entirely true, the noodles have peas in, because that’s how I like them.” He held the container up for you, showing you the little green veggies sitting inside, but you took it from him and a fork, dishing some up onto your own plate as you ignored his failed deferral of the claim you’d made that he’d actually put a considerable amount of thought into the meal.

He followed suit, the two of you dividing up the meal and discussing all of the elements until the wrappers and boxes were all tucked back into the bag and kicked from the bed, left to sit on the floor as the two of you settled down to eat, his body beside yours in the pillows, and the remote in his hand. He scrolled through the movie choices, offering you different ones he thought would be good, until you settled on something between an action and a comedy, wanting the light-hearted energy to surround you while you were feeling down.

Once you’d finished eating, he’d cleared all of the plates away for you both, taking them downstairs and discarding of the rubbish too, rewarming the pad that had begun to lose its heat. As promised, when he returned, he had positioned himself behind you instead, pressing your back to his front and replacing the head pad on your stomach, rubbing your stomach soothingly every time you got cramps.

Each time you let out a sound in pain he would press a kiss to your head, or your temple, and mumble sweet things in your ear to make you feel better, and each time you shifted and apologised he told you that it was okay, moving himself to make sure you were comfortable, no matter what position you moved yourself into. When the pain in your lower back became worse than that on your front, the pair of you shifted with his guidance until you were laying down, your cheek pressed to his chest as you lay atop him, his hands tucked under your shirt and fingertips pressing into the muscle to soothe you, chuckling each time you let out a sigh of satisfaction when he pressed to the right spots.

It was in those moments that you decided you could absolutely get used to this. You could get used to affection, and love, and being cared for when you weren’t well. It was in those moments that you decided you wanted to have someone you could lay with like this when you weren’t on your period, when you were just feeling a little emotional, or tired. You wanted to be able to shower someone else with love and appreciation too, you wanted to have someone who woke you up in the mornings with breakfasts in bed, and someone who kept you up late at night to watch stupid movies and share funny posts on Instagram, and or the first time in longer than you could remember, that image didn’t revolve around Stiles.

It was no longer his face that plagued your mind and his name that weighed down your heart. It hurt to know that he didn’t love you, but it didn’t hurt as much as it did. For the first time you could recall, you could swap his face out with someone else’s and believe it.

Squeezing the man underneath you a little tighter, his hands went flat on your back, simply rubbing soothingly instead of pressing into the muscles, and you nuzzled down into his chest a little more, the soft cotton against your skin making you feel comfy and warm, the steady movements of his hands lulling you into comfort and clearing your mind.

“You sure you’re going to be okay to go in tomorrow?”

You let out a groan, his voice deep and rumbling underneath you, and it had slipped your mind that it was Sunday, and that you still had an assignment to do, your face pressing into his shoulder to muffle your growl of irritation before you were pushing yourself up above him, whining a little when you body flared up with pain again, but he simply watched you, setting his hands on your hips as you sat back on his thighs, rubbing at your eyes and glancing around the room.

“What’s up?”

“I have an essay due, tomorrow. Extra credit boost before graduation, just to bump up my GPA and all that.” You waved your hand a little, sighing out a groan before getting to your feet, padding across the room to find your laptop, and you heard the mattress creak as he propped himself up in the pillows. You considered not completing it, and just explaining to your teacher tomorrow that you didn’t need the extra credit, but the truth was, you did. You knew you wanted this, and once your period passed you’d hate yourself for not doing it just because you didn’t feel great at the time.

Scooping up the device and taking it off of its charger, you made your way back to the nest of pillows and blankets you had created together. He was holding his arms out for you, the covers moved out of the way, so that you could get beneath them, and you could cry at the welcoming image he painted as you collapsed back into his touch.

Snuggling back into him, his hands found your stomach again after he had tucked the blankets around you, and you positioned the laptop across your lap, turning it on at the power switch and waiting for it to load up. His chin was sitting on your shoulder, cheek pressed to yours as your head fell back onto his shoulder, and your legs tangled together under the covers. Shifting one hand to his, you squeezed at them in a silent thank you for him being there for you, and looking after you.

You knew you’d be fine alone, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable to actually have someone else with you, looking after you and making you feel better.

The device loaded up, the bright screen making you wince as you typed your password in, your home screen coming up and you immediately turned down the brightness, rubbing at your eyes now that it was darkened in a hope that it would soothe the pounding inside of your skull. “Can you even see that screen now?”

He meant it as a joke, and you knew he did, but it didn’t stop the sigh that slipped past your lips as you pulled up an empty document to start typing into. “I have a headache, and the brightness was not helping.”

“If you have a headache, are you sure you don’t want to just take a nap?”

“I wish I could, but I want to get all the boosts I can before I graduate.” He hummed into your ear, moving to press a kiss to your shoulder through your top, before his hands came up to close over yours on the keyboard as you typed in your name and the title of your essay, stilling as his hands stopped the movement.

“Why don’t you let me type, then? You can shut your eyes so you don’t have to look at the screen, tell me what you want to put.”

“Are you serious?” You pulled away to look at him again, and he nodded, before you closed your eyes, feeling like you may break down at the offer, and tapping your forehead against his chin as you leaned in to bump against him in gratitude. “You’re amazing.”

“It’s literally just typing. I don’t even have to think of the words.” You pulled your hands away, curling on your side into his body instead as he moved the device to balance across both of your laps, wrapping his arms a little tighter around you and turning up the brightness so he could see the screen, getting himself ready and giving you a little hum in prompt to begin once he was set.

You listed off the words to him, speaking effortlessly as you moved through the introduction, and he typed what you wanted without complaint. It was when you began the actual study basis that he spoke, offering his own points and challenging your knowledge at times, asking you why you thought something as relevant to include, or what it was adding to the essay.

The two of you worked in perfect harmony to create the piece of work, and you knew that with his added knowledge and the benefit of having another person contribute to it, that it would be one of the best pieces of work you had ever turned in. You had also never felt more relaxed while working, the sound of his voice as he spoke to you, reading back each paragraph for editing and ensuring it was correct, the rumble of it in his chest beneath your cheek.

It took longer than you thought, but was more enjoyable than any other piece of homework you’d ever completed, and you made the decision then and there that you wouldn’t care if you were drowning in work for the rest of your life if Mitch, or anyone else, would hold you like this and make it feel more like a hobby than a chore.

Upon finishing it, he went to the effort of printing it off for you, leaving the bed after fluffing the pillows for you and handing you one to curl up with, before he was making his way over to collect the pages from your printer, digging through your desk drawers to find a plastic cover to slide them into, and tucking the essay into your bag, ready for tomorrow.

You were watching him move carefully, your leg propped up on one of the pillows to ease your cramps, and he peeled his jumper up and over his head, throwing it away to sit over the seat at your vanity. The action had pulled up the light cotton tee he wore underneath, exposing the toned muscles and dark happy trail to you, the path of hairs that dipped down under the skinny jeans he wore.

You were nibbling on your lip, trailing your eyes over him carefully, moving from his abs to his biceps when he pulled the material back down, and he was smirking by the time you eventually managed to drag your lingering gazes up to his eyes.

“As much as I truly love the fact that you were just eye-fucking me - big ego-booster by the way, so thank you for that - we’re going to have to save that for another day.”

You let out a huff, but knew he was right, and instead he came back over to you, picking up the pillow you’d tucked between your legs and laying himself down on the bed beside you instead, getting under the covers with you and letting you shuffle up beside his body. Swinging a leg up and over his waist, you rested your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping around your body to hold you to himself protectively.

“Do you want to sleep? We can take a nap, if that’s what you want.”

“It is, but we can talk for a while first.” You felt around for your head pad, resting it against your lower back, and his hand came down to hold it in place for you without even having to ask.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

It took you a minute to think, before your lips were flicking up at the corners, and your hand was tightening in the material of his t-shirt a little, before you rubbed your hand over the spot. Pressing your face into his neck, you pressed a kiss to his skin, and then another, just simple pecks to the space that you could reach, but he held you a little tighter instinctively each time. “Tell me about college. What it’s like, to live alone and be independent, I want to hear it all.”

“It’s pretty fucking awesome. I didn’t get to experience much alone, a lot of it revolves around Katrina. We tried real hard to make it work, at first, so a lot of my experiences are different, because of that.”

“You don’t have to talk about her, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” He let out a sigh, running a hand over his face before returning it to your body, tucking it under the edge of your shirt to sit on the bare skin of your waist, rubbing circles with his fingers carefully. “She was a big part of who I was back then, I feel like I’m someone else now. I like who I am now. I dated her for more than half of my high school experience, and the first two years of college. She never forced me in a certain path, but I naturally wanted to follow her.”

“I didn’t date Stiles, I don’t think I ever will, but loving him changed me a lot too.”

“Love has a tendency to do that to you.” He paused, pressing a kiss to your hairline, before taking a deep breath. “College was scary at first. It’s so far away, it takes days to drive down, with all the pauses you take and the sleep time, so, I didn’t get to come home very often. It was odd, not listening to Stiles fall over things, or hearing my dad complain about work. I didn’t get to visit my mom on her birthday because I had exams, and that was the first time I didn’t take her flowers.”

“I miss your mom.”

“Yeah, me too.” He twisted you both a little when you began to squirm at the position, moving you so that you were on your side and he could press up to your back, your hand taking his as you dragged it over your body to sit across yourself. “Better?”

“Yeah, much.”

“So, I think on the first time I really felt like myself at college was actually the weekend I realised things with Kat were going downhill. It had been a whole month since we’d last seen each other, or even video chatted. Of course, we called and texted, but not as often and when I told her I loved her, it certainly didn’t make me feel as warm and fuzzy as it used to. I didn’t plan my weekends around seeing her and having virtual dates, but I started planning on keeping them open, and going to the college pep rallies, and going to the clubs and restaurants with my roommates. I had free time, and I liked that. It hurt when we officially called it off, and I realised I was going to need new friends, but if I’m being really honest here, a large part of the reason I came home again was to reconnect with myself, as well as move on, because I never knew myself and college as one.”

“You’re deeper than I thought.”

“What, did you think I was a kiddie pool of emotions?” He nudged his foot into the back of your leg, cackling a little when you grumbled at the jab. “I will have you know that I possess a deep ability to get hurt, and to do hurt, and that whole feelings shit. Blah, blah, blah, whatever you want to call it, I can do that.”

You laughed, muffling yourself by bringing his hand up to your mouth, kissing the back of his knuckles, and he flexed his hand, before gripping your chin and tipping your head back, pressing his lips to your cheek in a wet kiss in return. “I know you can. You cheered me up after Stiles left me on movie night, twice, and you’ve spent the whole of today caring for me. You’re deep as the Mariana Trench.”

“That’s some pretty high compliments, kitten.”

“You deserve them. So, tell me about having roommates.”

The conversation followed along much the same lines, and he let you shift every time you needed to, your position changing constantly as you tried to get and stay comfortable, but he told you everything you needed to know, without ever growing impatient. In return, you told him about everything he missed, you told him all the antics and stories that coach had endured since he left, and you told him about the funniest crimes his dad had been shutting down too.

You talked for what felt like hours, before the conversations had fizzled into a serene quiet, which in turn had eventually become the sleep you had promised, the two of you drifting off into a comfortable quiet that made darkness overtake your senses.

You had never slept as well on your period as you had with Mitch holding you.

Your sleep was normally filled with tosses and turns, unable to settle for too long as different parts of your body ached and flared with pains, but this time you were happy, and you snoozed, and when you had woken up hours later, it was with darkness filling the room at the window instead of the sunrays you’d fallen asleep to, but you were still in the same position you'd drifted off in, and you realised you hadn't had a fitful night with constant wake-ups, but instead, you’d slept right through for hours.

The man underneath you was still asleep, snoring lightly was each breath, and you ran the tip of your finger over his nose, watching him twitch in his sleep and twist away from the source of your tickling. You’d never seen him asleep before, but you had seen Stiles, and even unconscious the two were opposites.

You were used to Stiles falling asleep around you, he kept himself up so late doing unnecessary research and keeping his mind busy until he crashed that he often fell asleep at other times too, slumped against the nearest surface, which often meant you. He drooled from the awkward ankles, and snored loudly, and twitched in his sleep before jerking awake. Mitch was calm, and clingy, and a deep sleeper. Even the slightest movement would wake his brother, and yet with all the subtle shifts you’d made, he was just adapting to you. Though, you assumed that might be down to his high activity lifestyle, all that sports must take a toll on him, even if he wasn’t keeping it up right now.

Pressing kisses along his jaw, he made a soft noise in his sleep that made your heart clench as you silently cooed over him, before he was shifting, letting out a little groan and pushing on your shoulder to roll you over, his body following until he could press you into the mattress and cover his face with your neck.

“G’ back t’ sleep. Bit longer.”

“I would let you stay, but you dad will wonder where you are, and I have school in the morning, and I’m not sure how you’d like to explain to my parents what you’re doing here.” He huffed out at that, pushing himself to sit up, before shaking his head to clear the sleep away a little bit as he cracked his eyes open. “Hi there.”

“I haven’t taken a nap in fuckin’ ages.”

“It was a good nap.” You confirmed, standing up yourself and taking the blessed few moments of pain-free movement to stretch out a little bit. He leaned over, brushing his lips to your forehead, and you walked across to the window. “It’s later than I thought, both of my parents are already home from work.”

“I should get going.” You nodded, never looking away from the window as he remade the bed with the blankets you both had messed up, before coming over to find you. “You gonna’ be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, I just need to have a shower and get myself ready for tomorrow so I can sleep in. I have a period every month, I’m well used to dealing with it, even if it does suck.”

He rolled his eyes, taking your hand in his and pulling you away from looking outside, but not before you had closed the curtains and locked out the streetlamps bright rays. “Why don’t you walk me out instead of being sassy, huh?”

“I thought you liked me when I was sassy?”

“That’s when you’re fucking me. I like you most when you’re being cute.” You rolled your eyes, but took his hand in your own and headed towards the front door, as he sat on the bed to pull on his shoes that he had discarded by the door so long ago.

“I’m going to go and unlock the door, and make sure my parents are in bed.”

“It’s been a while since I had to sneak out of a pretty girl’s house, I kinda’ missed the thrill.” He smirked, nodding to you as you went, and you were sure to hide the blush crawling at your cheeks.

The darkness that had grown to replace the light in the room was thick and heavy, only making you more tired as you rubbed gently at your eyes, trying to wake yourself up a little from your nap so that you could have a shower and get yourself ready for a day at school, before eventually going back to bed again. The downstairs of your house was vacant, your parents clearly having come in and gone about their night without disturbing you, before going straight to bed themselves.

You could hear Mitch padding down the stairs softly as not to wake your parents, and so you opened the door quietly, turning it in towards you and letting the cool night air sweep into the house. There was a note left for you by your parents, and you picked up the piece of card, flipping it over to read what it said, smiling at the handwriting scrawled onto it.

‘Figured you were getting an early night, didn’t want to wake you last night. Have a good day at school.’

There was a heart drawn at the bottom, and you assumed they didn't think you'd see it until you woke up and headed out in the morning, and you were grateful they hadn't come into the room, because you weren’t too sure how you would explain being curled up in bed and clinging to your best friends older brother as you slept side by side. Probably not the best way to introduce a guy to your parents.

Placing it back where it was, you could thank them for it tomorrow, and Mitch was standing beside the door patiently, watching you carefully as you finally turned back to him.

“I’m sorry today didn’t go how you were planning, but thank you for sticking around anyway.”

He lifted a hand, brushing stray hair away behind your ear and settling the palm over your cheek, pulling you forwards gently until you were standing so close to him that you could pick out the lighter flecks of colour in his eyes, despite the darkness of the night surrounding you both. “My plan today was to come over and see you and have food. Sex is just what we usually do, but I wasn’t disappointed any less.”

You weren’t sure what to say, so you didn’t bother saying anything at all, instead choosing to reach out and lace your fingers with his other hand, to which he eagerly accepted, spreading the digits for you to slip your own between before he was squeezing your hand tightly.

“I want to kiss you again. Is that okay?”

You lifted your face back up, your sights moving from your connected hands to instead find his own eyes, before you were leaning in a little closer, a smile pulling on your cheeks. “Another goodnight kiss?”

“Yes.”

“You can consider this blanket permission to kiss me whenever you want, sex or no sex.” You promised, and you barely caught sight of his smile before he was leaning in to press his lips to your own in a tender connection. It was slow, and sweet, your mouths creating a rhythm of their own as you fell in closer to him, wrapping your free hand around his neck as your fingers played together from where they were connected at the hand and pressed between you both, squeezing tightly as you clung to one another.

“I have to warn you, I may abuse that privilege.”

His words were exhaled breathily into your mouth, and you only chuckled in response, nodding from where his forehead was pressed to your own, before indulging yourself in a few further quick pecks to his lips, which he was happy to reciprocate. “You planning to kiss me a lot, Mitch?”

“Maybe I am.” He leaned back in, smiling against your mouth as the whispered confession faded out into silence, and you let him, leaning over him as he stepped back over the threshold and down the step onto the garden, his head tipped up to face yours, the hand from your cheek slipping down to your hip in order to stabilise you. When you pulled back from him, his lips chased your own for a second, pouted and needy before he finally rocked back onto his feet, fishing into his pocket for his keys, but never taking his hand from yours.

“I’ll see you soon, I’m due college application letters back some point next week, and Stiles and I have always said we’d open them together.”

“I look forward to it, kitten.” He gave your hand a final squeeze, before finally releasing it and stepping away backwards in the direction of his car, the lights flashing as it lit up on the street. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You nodded, watching as he turned away and climbed into his car, never leaving the doorway until he'd driven past, winking at you as he went, the lights fading as he moved further down the street until he had rounded the corner and was out of sight. Closing the door once again, you pressed your forehead to it, feeling embarrassed about the size of the grin on your face, before locking up and flicking out the lights, making your way back upstairs.

When you made it back into your bedroom, your eyes immediately closed in on the jumper that was left on your bed, the same one he’d shrugged off before the two of you had fallen asleep, but it was now folded neatly and placed on the straightened bed sheets, a purposeful offering that made warmth bloom in your chest and ebb out across every part of your body.

Grabbing your phone from where it was sitting, you snapped a picture of the garment, sending it to him and knowing he would reply when he got home.

you left me your jumper.

With that, you dropped the device, peeling off the clothes you’d spent the day in and dropping them into the laundry basket, before heading towards the bathroom. Switching on the shower, you lined up the towels on your counter before stepping under the warm water and letting out a happy sigh as the heat flooded over your body.

Periods always made you feel icky. They made you feel dirty, and tired, and unattractive.

Today, though, you had felt nothing but peace and tranquillity, being in the arms of someone who cared about you. It was odd, the feeling of moving on. You could sense the shift in your own soul, the way you felt a little detached from yourself, floating aimlessly like you had nothing anchoring you down anymore. You no longer felt like you were bound by the ties you felt to Stiles, the same guilty jealousy that had once possessed you anytime you thought about Lydia - or anyone else - being the one who stole Stiles’ heart instead of you was no longer. The idea of being with someone other than Stiles was no longer met with disdain, but rather your attempt at optimism. You didn’t want to let it go, you didn’t want to move on, and your heart still held a place for him that you weren’t sure would ever go away.

Stiles was the first boy you had ever loved, but now, it didn’t seem so impossible to say he wouldn’t be the only one you loved. There was space for more, there was room for trial and error and heartbreak because, finally, you were allowing yourself the opportunity for the childish infatuation to be released so that you could move on to something more.

Something mature and meaningful. Something that revolved around more than just the chance of affections but something that was built on dedication and understanding and deep-rooted love.

Washing out the suds from your hair, you wiped at the soap on your face, washing off every thought and emotion that had passed over you in the day, and letting your worries and heartbreak slip away down the drain with the soap, feeling completely and utterly refreshed. When you stepped out, steam billowing into the room around you, your first call was to find some new and comfortable clothes to cuddle up into. Once you had done, you spent a little longer rubbing your moisturiser into your face, and drying your hair off before you could get into bed, your eyes closing as you listened to the hum of the machine, the simple but steady note letting you relax yourself as you matched your heartrate to the subtle and steady clicks each time the blades turned over.

Finally, feeling clean and comfy and satiated, you picked up the jumper that had been left for you and pulled it over your head, the longer sleeves swamping over your hands as you balled them up and lifted the neckline to your nose with the tips of your fingers that peeked out, taking a deep inhale of the scent that clung to it.

You felt wrapped up in it, the smell of his cologne that was on your pillow and your blanket, the dip on the bed from where he’d been sitting. No matter what happened when he came over for more physical activities, you were never left with the smell of him clinging to your sheets. After that, your room would smell of sweat and sex, but the smell of his aftershave and his shampoo pressed into the fabric came from a day of cuddling and sleeping, a day of doing nothing but holding on another close, until he was leaving a ghost of himself behind even when he had left.

Lifting up your phone, your latest notification was from the man who was swamping your thoughts, only a few minutes old, and you swiped it open, rolling onto your side and propping a hand under your head.

[Mitch 🔥] saw my syracuse one was over the back of ur chair, u said it smelled good. thought I’d leave u another one.

Taking a quick picture of yourself, your face partially covered by the hand over a jumper you had up and over your nose, you sent it to him, typing out a thank you underneath, and expressing just how much you loved the gesture.

[Mitch 🔥] u look fucking adorable. I like u in my jumpers.

Heat crawled up your cheeks, and you nibbled on your lower lip, flicking out the light and preparing yourself to settle back down to sleep.

maybe next time you come over, i’ll be wearing only the jumper.

Hitting send, it went through the ‘read’ immediately, and the grey bubble at the bottom of the screen was popping up only a second later but he took him a moment to reply, the bubble disappearing and reappearing a couple of times, before a text finally came through, and for a moment, you worried you’d crossed a line of some kind.

[Mitch 🔥] ur a tease, can’t believe i'm this worked up at midnight.

You rolled your eyes, thumbs moving quickly over the illuminated screen, before hitting send, and quieting your own giggle of amusement by burying your face in the pillow.

i’ll make it up to you when i next see you.

The next text came only a second or so later, a yawn taking you over as you prepared yourself for sleep, and it didn’t require a response.

[Mitch 🔥] can’t fuckin wait.

#Mitch Rapp #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp/reader #mitch month #mitchtober #mitch-tober #mitch rapp x reader smut #mitch rapp/reader smut #LMDS #let me down slow #mitch rapp american assassin #dylan obrien american assassin #dylan obrien mitch rapp #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien x reader smut #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien/reader smut

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Steph! Do you know any fics where either John or Sherlock are struggling with mental health issues (depression, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorder, anything of that sort) and help each other cope? Fluffy and with a happy ending? No problem if not, but thanks anyway. Have a nice day!

Hey Nonny!

Ah, I have a few! Check out these lists:

Post S4 and Mental Health

Mental Health Related

Amnesia / Memory Loss

Main Character Depression

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil Pt. 2

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil Pt. 3

Sherlock’s PTSD

Hallucinations

Suicidal Ideation

John’s Suicide Before TEH

Loneliness

Sherlock Has Poor Self-Esteem

BAMF! But Insecure John

Insecure / Awkward John or Sherlock

Eating Disorders (COMM. RECS)

And I’ve never had anyone ask for Insomnia Fics before and I’ve had a small list forever for it WOO HOO, so check these out! As usual, add your own fics, Lovelies.

INSOMNIA

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Bitter Nights Turned Sweet by Hyliare (T, 4,076 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Insomnia/Hallucinations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Present Tense John Watson, Cuddling/Snuggling) – Sherlock has always had trouble sleeping; he hasn't always had someone in his life willing to help.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

The Tip Over Into The Inevitable by ivyblossom (T, 6,894 w., 1 Ch. || Grief, Cuddles, Insomnia, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers) - When his father dies, Sherlock avoids sleeping. Then discovers he can’t sleep at all. John finds a way to help.

A Terrific Soporific by antietamfalls (T, 11,269 w., 1 Ch. || Bed Sharing, Sleepy Cuddles, Fluff, Insomnia, Experiments) – Sherlock, a long-time sufferer of insomnia, is forced to share a bed with John at a hotel while on a case. To his astonishment, he finds that spending the night next to John helps him sleep and becomes determined to maneuver himself back into John's bed.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #insomnia fics #Anonymous #mental health cw #suicidal ideation cw #eating disorders cw

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caplanbuckybarnes · 4 years ago

Text

The Call Out (2)

Summary: You get hired as a live-in bbaysitter for the city’s most dangerous mafia boss.

Warnings: None?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Nervously, you smoothed down the front of your shirt as you sat in the back seat of the car that was sent to retrieve the morning after the meeting. You couldn’t believe your luck in the matter. You’d stayed up for hours the night previous, texting your best friend back and forth.

He sent plenty of words of encouragement. Though, knowing the mafia king was all over the news with his dirty deeds and wrecking havoc, the city did little to quell your anxiety. But still, the money was well worth it. All you had to do was babysit his twin sons. You learned along the ride that his boys were named Alexei and Nikolai. The man settled behind the wheel was named Thor. He donned his hair pulled back into a messy bun on the back of his head. You thought the man looked ridiculously attractive, but then again, you’d probably never see the man again.

He didn’t talk much. But then again, what could you talk about with the man? He bore a single eye that rivaled the afternoon sky. His other was covered by a black eye patch. You’d wanted to ask what had caused the loss of an eye. But you daren’t speak for fear of dying in that car.

Long minutes last by as he swerved through traffic. He was chaotic, yet, in control of the traffic surrounding him. He held mirth in his eyes, or maybe it was indifference. You didn’t dare stare at him for too long in the car. The sir surrounded him held importance and hostility.

“Here.” He finally spoke, pulling into a driveway long enough to rival a New York City block, circling around a small water fountain that held brushes of grass and flowerbeds. He pressed a button on his console and. The garage door opened up to reveal a display of vintage cars of all models. You could tell the man that hired you had exquisite taste in whatever he drove. Or maybe the man simply had too much money for himself. Judging by the immaculate stones carved into the building itself.

Thor stood out of the car and quickly pulled our door open, holding out an arm to help you out onto solid ground. Thanking him quietly, he led you through the house in silence. You were in a different part of the house then before. Paintings lined the walls above vases of flowers every few meters. The walls themselves held little to the imagine, white paint was prestige and you swore you could smell the aroma of a fresh coat of paint as Thor guided you through three sets of hallways, and another set of doors before finally holding out a hand in invitation. You quickly stepped through a pair of oak doors and were welcomed by the scent of candles surrounding the room. The gesture wasn’t a romantic one. But the eerie glow of shadows that lined the wall above teh candlelight sent a shiver down your spine.

“Welcome back, Y/N,” the now familiar voice dominated the air around you and you quickly moved your head to the right where Pietro stood leaning against his desk with a clipboard in his hand. He wore a navy blue coattail with matching trousers, legs crossed at the ankles. He barely looked you way as he continued to search the document in his hand. “I assume you had a lovely drive.”

“Thor doesn’t speak too much, does he?” You greeted as you shuffled on the balls of your heels. “He was quiet most of the ride here.”

“He’s never been much of a speaker,” Pietro finally looked up at you with a warm smile as he placed the clipboard behind him. “My apologies, I’m being unfairly rude without meaning to.” He gestured to the high backed chairs that were settled in front of his desk. He sat in one and you sat in the other.

“My twins are excited to meet you,” his eyes glossed over with admiration. “I know my sister gave you a hard time after I had dismissed you yesterday. I would like to apologize on her behalf.”

“It’s not needed, sir.” You crossed your legs, one over the other and you couldn't help but to notice that Pietro’s eyes had followed the movement. “When will I be able to meet the kids officially?”

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” He asked, ignoring the question as his eyes trailed along the stockings you wore on your legs. “I would like your company in the kitchen, if I may? I have a list of the kids’ allergies I’d like to go over with you.”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded as he stood from the chair and held out a hand before he strolled out of the room, hands deep within his pockets. You couldn’t help but to struggle behind him as he quickly strolled along the corridors, having the layout of the house memorized after years of living within the walls.

Minutes later, you enter the kitchen and whistle low at the dimensions of the room; this room alone could fit your entire apartment inside, and still have room left over. You took a seat at the island that he stood in front of and waited patiently as his attention was thrown into a scuffle in the hallway. Apologizing politely, he returned to the room and took a paper from its place on the fridge and set it in front of you.

“So tropical fruit is off limits?” You mumbled to yourself as you gazed at the list; it wasn’t a long one. On it was written the typical allergies for most children that you knew.

“Nikolai insists he’s not allergic, yet his swollen tongue claims otherwise.” It was the first time since you met the man that you noticed how his blue eyes brightened up at the mention of his kids. You wouldn’t get in trouble this time. The last boss was a fluke. You quickly averted your eyes back down to the paper in your hands and studied the list before folding it neatly and placing it in the purse you slung over your shoulder.

“I’ll be sure to remember everything,” you promised. He turned around and started opening cabinets, pulling out ingredients for what looked like potato pancakes. Soon enough, you became mesmerized by the easy way he floated around in his kitchen. He seemed to glide on air as he hustled about. Not too long after, the scent filled the kitchen space and you nearly moaned out loud.

“Papa!” The sounds of two pairs of feet echoed through the hallway before two small children skidded to a stop in the doorway. “Good morning, Papa!”

“Nikolai, Alexei, good morning,” Pietro smiled at his sons. You smiled in uncertainty as the boys eyed you suspiciously.

“You’re not auntie Wanda!” One of the Twins spoke, a giggle from the other twin as the first one tilted his head in question.

“No, I am not,” you smiled, sliding off the car and kneeling down to their eye level. “My name is Y/N. I’m your babysitter.”

“What happened to Carol, Papa?” The twin with glasses spoke as he turned on his heel to look at his father. “I liked her!”

A darkened expression grazed the pupils of Pietro’s eyes before the scowl was erased and replaced by a soft smile. “She forfeit her job three days ago.”

“But-!”

“Nikolai.” Pietro raised a brow and the twins became silent at once. “No more questions, it’s rude.” Nikolai nodded and turned his attention back to you, his eyes matching his fathers. You looked between both boys and noticed Alexei had a freckle just to the right of the corner of his mouth. It was the only visible difference you could see in the pair of boys.

“You’re pretty!” He said before walking around you and settling himself in the chair in front of the island. His brother followed suit seconds after. You watched as the brothers dug into the fruit bowl and pulled out different fruits, one an apple, the other a plum.

“Boys, did you wash your hands before you touched that bowl?” The authority in Pietro’s voice nearly had you buckling on the spot. What the hell is this man doing to me? Not again. This can’t happen again! Dean was a fluke, a mistake. This isn’t happening! Pietro nodded his head toward the doorway as the boys sunk in their seats. He turned to you. “Why don’t you start helping out by getting the boys dressed and washed properly before I leave out for the day?”

You nodded easily before following the boys giggles as they raced down the hallway. As you paced down the hallway, you couldn’t help but to stop and look at the artwork lining the walls around you. This man certainly had expensive taste. You only hoped that your life wasn’t about to flip a coin and land on the wrong side as it had done with Winchester back in Lawrence.

“I think she’s pretty!” You heard one of the boys say as you approached what you assumed was the bathroom. The sound of a sink running was the ultimate indicator taht you were going on the right direction until you spotted the boys in a tiny bathroom standing on stools to see their reflection. “Much prettier than Carol!”

You watched over them for a minute before Nikolai noticed you in the reflection. “Want to see my dinosaur collection?” He hopped off the stool and you had to laugh as toothpaste was running down his jawline. You walked over to the toilet before grabbing a few pieces of paper and rubbing his mouth.

“I would to see it,” you smiled before standing back up. “But first, breakfast now that both of you are properly washed up.” You looked over at Alexei and noticed he’d been quiet almost all morning. The concern wasn’t missed by Nikolai. “Don’t worry about him, he’s not much of a talker like me!”

You nodded and held a hand out to Alexei and waited for him to gently wrap his small hand in yours before all of you walked back into the kitchen.

“Dad, I really like her!” Nikolai jumped into the kitchen and raised his eyes to look at you with a wide grin. “I want to show her my dinosaurs!”

You assumed it didn’t take much to impress a four year old. Maybe you’d ask Pietro later about what you should expect with his kids. Maybe you’d stay up long enough tonight and talk to him fully about your past. You knew with Wanda being around, and her already on the bad side, it wouldn’t take long for Pietro to figure out exactly what happened with Dean Winchester.

The smile on Pietro’s face as he agreed with his son made your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Eventually, his sister came strutting in, Bluetooth tucked into her ear as she hummed and responded to whomever was on the other line. She nodded to her brother in greeting before dipping low and kissing the twins on the tips of their noses before walking back out without so much as glancing your way.

Breakfast went by smoothly. The twins are without much complaint, thanks to Pietro’s fine cuisine. You helped the boys wash their owns plates and set them away in a cabinet before Nikolai ran off to his room. Alexei stayed back and shuffled nervously on his feet. Taking care to not force conversations to on this young child, you knelt down and tucked a finger under his chin before gently prodding him to match your eyes sight.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“It’s quiet when daddy’s not here.” He frowned, still shuffling on his feet. “I don’t like when it’s quiet. It makes me feel sad.”

Looking at the kid for a long moment, an idea popped in your head and you quickly pulled your phone out from your pocket and searched for a source of radio. Eventually, you found a speaker sitting above the fridge and pulled it down before connecting it wirelessly to your phone. Music blared through the speaker and you grabbed Alexei’s hands before jumping up and down in the kitchen. A small smile broke out on his face and he started jumping up and down with you. Minutes later, his twin brother came into the room and started joining in with the fun.

Long minutes later, song after song played on your phone and the next thing you knew, the boys were dancing throughout then house and laughing up a storm. You were vaguely aware that you were in a very unfamiliar area of the house but you didn’t care as you followed the boys.

“What do you think you’re doing?” A scowling voice stopped all three of you in your tracks before you spun on York heel to be greeted with the flaming red hair of your boss’s sister.

“We’re just dancing, getting energy out of our systems,” you shrugged as Alexei ran over to you and hugged your leg tightly; the look of terror plagued on his face. “It’s not a crime to have fun, you know.”

With a glance toward the child clinging to your leg, Wanda scoffed and brushed a piece of hair over her shoulder. “If you think for a second-“

“Don’t be a party pooper, Aunt Wanda!” Nikolai giggled and ran over to her before pulling at her wrist. “Join us at the party! We’re gonna have a dinosaur dance! I want to show you my Velociraptor stickers!”

“I’ll pass,” she ignored the child pulling at her arm and turned around, her red curls bouncing with heavy stride further down the hallway.

With one look at the twins, you sighed deeply and turned the power off on the Bluetooth device before ushering the boys down the hallway. “I’m sorry our party got invaded by an evil witch, boys.”

“Don’t worry about her!” Nikolai said, skipping beside you. “She’s a meanie pants anyway. She’s never liked fun.”

“Yeah!” Alexei chuckled beside his brother. “This one time, me and Nik put shaving cream on her hand when he snuck into her bedroom and tickled her face! She didn’t talk to us for a whole week!” The brightness of their eyes brought you joy. “It was so worth it.”

“I would have loved to see her reaction.” You smiled.

“You can!” Alexei giggled. “We have a picture in our room in our closet! Come on!” Before you could even protest a single word, you found yourself being pulled by the force of two young children through the house and niether of them stopped until you were standing in the doorframe of their bedroom.

The room was large, far too large for it to be conserved for two small children. One half of the room was cluttered with space toys and painted navy blue with stars painted across the walls and ceiling, the other half painted mostly green and brown with trees and delicate dinosaurs of all types. You could tell these boys had separate interests at heart. You planned on taking both of them on field trips to their collective interests very soon. Eventually, Nikolai had helped in joy before rushing over to you and thrusting a crinkled photo into your hands.

The picture was of Wanda, face smeared in white shaving cream with a death glare pointed at whoever was behind the camera. You chuckled as you returned the photograph.

Before long, keys jingled down the hallway and you turned to see Pietro headed in your direction. A smile curled at his lips as he scooped down to grab his sons in each of his arms. “Turns out I’m not needed at that office today boys. Who wants to make a pillow fort in the living room?”

****

Hours later, you were finishing up in the bathroom before walking across the hallway to your own bedroom. You still couldn’t believe that Pietro wanted you to live in the house with him. You couldn’t believe that you had such a high paying job so soon after moving to the city. But you wouldn’t press your luck. The hour was growing late and you knew you had to wake up early to get the boys ready for school in the morning. Before you could sit in your bed, you noticed a tall silhouette standing in the doorway. His face was cast in shadow but you already knew who the body belonged to.

“Can I help you, Mister Maximoff?”

“I thought I told you the formalities wasn’t a necessity?” He asked before beckoning you closer to him. “I would first like to apologize about the late hour. With the boys being awake, it’s kind of hard to have a private conversation without them listening in. Would you care to join me in my office so I can ask you a few questions?”

“Yes, sir,” oh no. He found out about Winchester. What the hell am I going to do? Did Wanda find dirt on me? What the fuck is happening?

NEXT CHAPTER

#pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x you #pietro maximoff x y/n #marvel imagines #caplan writes #my writing

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bittybattybunny · 3 years ago

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If is alright with you may I ask about the Romcom and enemies to lovers aus? If not is fine and you can just ignore this ask

You can ask away!!!

What's on your mind? plots? I can give plot rundowns o7o

Romcom:

Arulius is a Fae Prince who was entered into a contract to win the love and marry the human woman Amaris 'Eclipse' Nightingale. he has 3 months to get her to agree to marriage or the contract becomes void and he fails (this will bring shame to his name) Eclipse is convinced the contract is due to her father creating a debt of some sort and is very against it. She tells Ru she'll pay back what her father borrowed and to forget the marriage. This confuses him and he's very invested in this working out as he likes humans. He's unable to tell her he's not human until the contract is completed or expired or if she finds out herself (and he can't manipulate it to get her to learn it)

What occurs over the next 3 months is a lot of shenanigans because this all takes place on a cruise ship. Eclipse is actually an employee on the ship hence another reason she's against this mess. So while she's working he's bothering humans for advice to woo her (and this includes advice from 4 children) and it's a mad house. Eclipse is also against it because she has a small secret herself, she has large silk moth wings. She hides them with a earring she wears and she's embarrassed by them. She doesn't get why this guy is trying so hard for her. Though she does find his attempts endearing and does slowly fall for him.

In this Ru is Genderfluid and actually doesn't really get the whole gender thing. he uses He/Him/They/Them/She/her what ever people want to use and doesn't really care because as a fae royal he can actually just change as he feels.

This leads to some embarrassment for Eclipse as he'll follow her into the women's bathrooms near the pool sometimes when he's talking to her.

as for the other currently it's called "No mercy" which is the song it's based on originally.

Arulius is a law student who does vtuber streaming on weekends. While playing "Killing Stage Overdraft" his favorite game (it's basically off brand overwatch) he ends up in a lobby after a string of losses and he gets grouchy on mic, he ends up getting sassed by another player. They wind up in the same matches and team the rest of the night with her berating his shitty attitude. Offline he goes to meet up with his crush and they are squishy dorks. Back in streams he ends up playing more with the sassy player. they have a bit of a rivalry in their matches despite the same team, and if she's on the other team she always swaps to a healer just to spite him. it becomes a routine for the two of them to bicker on stream and play together and she ends up more or less and actual friend where they actually will work together on occasion. Back offline he and his crush are getting closer over their love of KSO (he even buys her a keychain of her favorite character "Gravedigger" who's kinda like Reaper but more plague doctor themed) and they plan to go to a convention together. Meanwhile during his stream and he's talking with the sassy player she ends up getting interrupted mid match and laments how she has to cancel her date because of work. He gets a message same time his team qualified for the tournament at a local convention and is sad he's gonna have to cancel his date for it. She off hand mentions she's working panels at that convention and they end up parting for the night. The next day as he's talking to his friends one mentions the top "Hel" player will be attending the con "b30wulfGR1M" (Hel is the main healer character and the one His online rival will play when mocking him from another team) he's excited since if they place in the tournament high enough they'll get to play the "Lunar Wulf Pack" which is the team GR1M plays for. he's excited since he likes GR1M as a player and thinks the whole "helmet" motif is neat. GR1M in all their live appearances wears a electronic daft punk style wolf helmet (and I do have drawings of it) and doesn't give any info on themself out and when they talk they have a voice changer/modulator in their helmet that distorts their voice and it's part of their brand.

At the convention Ru is actually able to meet up with his crush, Eclipse, and they spend the day together having fun. She mentions she's glad she got a chance away from work to play since she's working some panels but they'll be in the evening. While they are having fun someone mocks her outfit (she's dressed as 'Hel') saying she's only doing it for the fanboys and bet she doesn't even play. She gets really agitated by this, the angriest Ru has ever seen her. She drags the guy to the game room and procures KSO and proceeds to completely destroy him a few times in a row before huffing and giving some trash talk of her own. it's at this moment Ru makes a connection. He realizes there are some very good odds that his crush and the sassy player may in fact be the same person. But this also confuses him because one of his close friends has a theory that the sassy player is GR1M based on when they play Hel on other teams. After an incident in the artist alley (Eclipse saw some really bad rule34 GR1M artwork that made her upset) she has to leave to run her panel. Ru asks which but she can't tell him due to her contract and leaves him there. Herschel and Bonnie end up finding him and dragging him to the GR1M meet and greet. While he's chatting with GR1M after getting an autograph he notices the Gravedigger keychain on their bag and comments he got the same one for the girl he likes. GR1M gets incredibly flustered and says they just adore Gravedigger but due to their teams set up they always get stuck being support, but when they play incognito on an alt account they just adore playing Gravedigger. Herschel asks GR1M's incognito name but they are ushered away.

During the tourny, Herschel ends up hurting his hand and has to drop, leaving just Ru and Bonnie which isn't enough for the matchups. Worried he's unsure what to do. GR1M is seen leaving and not long after Eclipse joins him. She plays Support and makes an off hand comment "the only time I'll play Hel for you." and it cements that she's "N0cturn" the player who sasses him on stream. He finds a lot of comfort in this and they end up placing 3rd in the ranking, which allows them to get to play teh brackets next day against GR1M's team.

However that night as Ru is going to his room there's an alert there was an attack at the convention and GR1M will be dropping due to being severely injured and in the hospital for their wounds. Ru ends up crestfallen but also worried because he can't get Eclipse to answer her phone (he was gonna ask her on a date but also since he has suspicions on her being both N0cturn and GR1M the fact GR1M was attacked makes him fear for her) An announcement goes out later that GR1M is being forced to retire from the pro gaming scene until further notice to to injuries sustained in their hand that will prevent them from using that hand for a few months at minimum.

And his fears are right. Eclipse is on campus the following monday with her entire left arm bandaged in a sling. It turned out the barista at the cafe she and Ru always met at had a one sided crush on her and had gone to the convention knowing she was going to be there, he assaulted her on the way to her hotel room with a box cutter and had gashed her arm up badly.

Ru ends up confessing he wants to date her and asks her point blank if she's N0cturn and then follows it asking if she's GR1M. She ends up confessing to both and that N0cturn is just her alt she uses when she's stressed. She confesses the entire reason she wears the helmet and keeps her identity secret (She had a lot of issues with sexism when she started of gaming and even tho the gaming scene has changed she's already established as this mysterious person. She also has really bad social anxiety so the helmet helps her interact with fans easier and deal with crowds) He tells her he doesn't care and wants her as his player 2 if she's down.

During his next stream he announces that N0cturn won't be playing WITH him but--- Eclipse pipes in from his mic she'll be teaching him how to play Hel, telling his stream he's met N0cturn offline and they are dating.

After her arm's healed she starts off getting back into games by streaming with Ru, he even got Herschel to model GR1M as a vtuber model and set it up for her

They play together on their streams, He's playing as Hel and she's Gravedigger and they are having a blast

No mercy has been my brain rot past 2 days lol

#ask #monochromebat #No Mercy AU #idk what to name the other au yet #both of these have fics started actually lol

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zuffer-weird-girl · 5 years ago

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Imagine Kai and angel’s first time sharing a bed

It seemed to be one of the storms you ever saw on your whole life after living in Japan.

You even catched on the news that a three fell near by where you were. The storm was so strong and the quantity of water was so huge that if you got a peek to look at outside you could even see a river on the street on the other side of the wall enveloping the yakusa house. Chrono even dared to joke that of Mimic made a boat he could navigate like he was in the sea outside, receivinga lunch from the man on his actual human form...

To say at last. You couldn't go back home, neither someone would let you.

"Maybe if I got a taxi-"

"There is no way you're going to get out on this storm (Y/n). And that's final." Your boyfriend growled while you sighed in hopeless. "Just expend the might here. There is no issue about it." He said in a manner of fact tone while you looked at him with flushed cheeks.

"I know but-" a clap of thunder following a flashing made you jump and yelp whole your boyfriend arched a eyebrow "Don't judge me! That caught me off guard!"

"Surely." He said nonchantly while you scoffed at his stoic expression "Unfortunately all of the rooms are occupied due to some precepts being not able to return to their homes. So it sticks with us to share a room then." He said nonchalantly while he turned his back to you to walk towards his bedroom... leaving a red faced you behind.

You? Him? You and your boyfriend? On the same room? The thought alone made your heart jump and breath to simply vanish, imagine actually practicing?!

"W-Wait! Kai!" You caught up to his steps while he looked at you "I can sleep on the couch."

"Nonsense." He said like he was even offended at such mention "You might develop some issues on your back or even worse." He opened the door for you to pass first "Just take a shower at least, my bed isn't having any filth germs or other disgusting things."

You arches a eyebrow at him with a smirk "So you're saying that I'm dirty?"

"I didn't. I simply cherish that you at least have decent cleaning habbits. I already did mine so go." You lifted your arms up in defence while giggling as he glared at you.

"Kai?" He grunted in response "I don't have any sleeping clothing in here. Can I please borrow some of yours? Just for tonight?" You asked cutely while he widen his eyes a bot before returning to look at you with those same serious eyes.

The thought would disgust and anger him to no less if someone even dared to mention such a thing... but the thought of you, wearing his clothes, gave him a feeling of... dominance. Like you were indeed his and only. Possesion and such things like that... and he had to admit that you would look quite adorable due to you guys height and size completly different from each other.

"... grab something on my closet." He muttered, trying to disguise his exciment and ... how flustered and smug he was.

You widen your eyes in shock at his words. You didn't actually thought he was going to agree with it! It didn't upseted neither trigger you in the wrong way at all, more like the opposite actually! But you knew how your boyfriend was and his mysophobia...

Maybe it was because you were going to wear it just after you were getting out of a shower...? It totally was Yet, now you were even more giggly and excited while you picked only one shirt and made your way to the bathroom.

Already ready to set the night off, he chosed to pick some book to wait a bit, the feeling of anxiety and creeping through his skin as he tried to convince himself that it wasn't such a big deal... sleeping next to someone.

He done that before? Never. Sleeping with someone beside you gave him unpleasant chills and feelings of vulnerability... that someone could easily stab teh other if they fell asleep... feeling like they were for once safe.

It meant more than that for him... it meant he truly trusted you more than anyone else.. it meant that he felt comfortable enough to show a bit of his vulnerability... even if it is just a small fraction of it.

He heard the door opening and it took only one glance to make his breath dissapear and his heart start to beat just as fast as it could.

"I.." he coughed a bit on his gloved fist "I thought you were getting the top and under part as well..."

"What?" You asked in innocence while you picked the end of the shirt as you twirled a bit "It basically looks like a dress on me!" You giggled before frowning at noticing that your boyfriend didn't even blinked "Do I look-"

"Dont even dare to finish that sentence." He interrupted whiel closing his book "You're... fine. Just sleep, is late as sh- is too late to be up."

You giggled at the way he paused and uncomfortably layed down next to you.

"That was you swearing?" You laughed a bit at the flip he gave to your forehead along with a scoff.

"Just shut it and sleep." He growled before turning his back to you, costing his shirt a bit and feeling his heart beat on his ears.

He wasn't feeling like this before... what was it about you that could leave him like this dammit? Could you hear his heart beating that fast?

He shifted a bit and heard your breath hitch on your throat. He looked at you while you blushed a bit.

"Sorry..." you said shyly while his eyes soften a bit... hesitantly turning his chest to you to look properly at the person in front of him.

He placed his hand close to your chest to confirm something, and he lifted his eyebrows in sorta of amusement at feeling that your heartbeat was just as fast as his.

"You're nervous? Scared?" He asked numbly as he chosed to mantain his gaze on his hand, knowing that if he looked into your eyes it was possible that he broked into a blush.

"... excited." You admited shyly "Sleeping next to someone you love is just... unique and so precious."

He made q slightly understanding sound, taking the sign that your heart beat was slowly easing a bit and that sleep was consuming you... so that was why he was feeling like this.

Maybe he did love you...

"I see..." he said, scoffing a bit at seing that you were fast asleep surprisingly. "... sleep well angel of mine." He turned the lights off and took off his mask only to look a bit at you... debating or not to do what crossed his mind before brushing his lips a bit in your forehead in a attempt of a kiss before surprisingly falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Bonus!

You woke up with a shen of sun light crossing your vision a bit as you grunted for waking up from such a beautiful sleep like this one... but oh well, you were a adult so you had to wake up and face your responsibilities... even if you didn't want to, not even a bit.

Although when you tried to get up you felt a certain weight of an arm around your midsection and felt a warm breath spreading through the base of your neck amd scalp.

Remembering the events of last might you instantly blushed crinsom red before slowly, and pausing sometimes to make sure the person behind you didn't woke up, turned just a bit to see the peaceful and sleeping face of your boyfriend.

Chisaki already had handsome and perfect features in your eyes; but when sleeping, he seemed so... innocent, so peaceful for once even despite him being part of the yakusa. He looked, dare you say, even more younger than he was...

To be complete honest... he was looking like a archangel from heaven. Such beauty he caried this man...

But your movements made him stir a bit, eyebrows furrow for only a fraction of second before he tightened his arms around you, slipping one leg between your warm ones bastard had cold feet you almost yelped while he nuzzled a bit in your hair before sighing in bliss and falling into peacefulness again.

Oh well... it looked like you were stuck. And you had no complains about it.

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writings #zuffer writings

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years ago

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so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

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shesey · 3 years ago

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Excerpts from “She came to stay” by Simone de Beauvoir | Part 1

“She exercised that power: her presence snatched things from their unconsciousness; she gave then their colour, their smell.” “She alone evoked the significance of these abandoned places, of these slumbering things. She was there and they belonged to her. The world belonged to her.” “At this moment she did not in the least regret that Pierre was not beside her: there were some joys she could not know when he was with her; all the joys of solitude.” “I’d like to think that the whole world is asleep, that at this moment you and I are the only living souls on earth.” “I feel calmer now, because I’m convinced that wherever I may go, the rest of the world will move with me. That’s what keeps me from having any regrets. Regrets for what? Said Gerbert. Having to live only in my own skin when the world is so vast.” “It amazes Elizabeth that I’m not ambitious; but that’s precisely why. I don’t want to try to cut out a special place for myself in the world. I feel that I am already in it.” “Where others only saw an impenetrable jungle, Pierre saw a virgin future which was his to shape as he chose. That was the secret of this strength.” “The truth is that I enjoy the early stages. You don’t understand that? Perhaps, said Francoise, but I would not be interested in an affaire which had no continuity.” “If they were not mentioned, it was almost as if they had not existed at all, and this allowed a shameful subterranean vegetation to grow up under the surface of true existence where she felt utterly alone and in danger of suffocation.” “How easy it was to live a full life in a world that held both the ruins at Delphi and the bare Provencal hillsides, as well as this congeries of humanity!” “Each one of these men, each one of these women present here tonight was completely absorbed in living a moment of his or her insignificant existence.” “No longer was she conscious of risk, or hope, or fear; only of this happiness over which she did not even have control.” “Imprisoned in happiness.” “After all, nothing obliged her to resume her work the very next day. It was slightly absurd to spend hour after hour here without dancing, without speaking to a soul, but if one set one’s mind to it there was a fascination to be found in this kind of self-absorption.” “But this yard, cluttered with old stage sets, had lost none of its poetry by becoming an everyday sight.” “Sexual faithfulness is perfectly ridiculous. It leads to pure slavery. I don’t understand how you can tolerate it.” “Nonsense. You’re not going to tell me that it’s never happened to you to feel desire for a man. You’re talking like all the people who won’t admit they have prejudices. They pretend they are subject to them as a matter of personal choice. But that’s just so much nonsense.” “Beautiful things are not easily created. The more precious they are, the more work they require.” “I didn’t say this work was beautiful. I know that beauty lies only in the completed work, but I find it thrilling to watch the transition from the formless to the pure and completed state.” “She only has you and she’s very fond of you. That can’t be much fun.” “Why do people always have to drag so much dead weight about with them? Look, said Pierre, time isn’t made up of a heap of little separate bits into which you can shut yourself up in turn. When you think you’re living purely in the present, you’re involving your future, whether you like it or not.” “I’m very envious of your capacity to feel things so strongly. I understand our putting a higher value on that than anything else.” “If she spoke of it to Pierre, it would become a disquieting and gripping reality instead of a fleeting mood. Thenceforth, he would have to bear it in mind even when she herself attached no importance to it.” “His heart was hidden; that hand on his sleeve could be seen by every eye in the theatre.... but for whom does it really exist, this love that exists between us? At this moment, even she did not believe in it, nothing remained of it anywhere in the whole of existence.” “I wanted to give you more than you were prepared to accept. And, if one is sincere, to give is a way of insisting on some return.” “If he was suffering, she would suffer too.” “The day when I no longer feel anything, I’m not going to look for excuses to feel.” “I admit that people should write. There’s something voluptuous about words. But only when the spirit moves you.” “This separateness hurt her cruelly, but nothing would induce her to set food on this slippery slop of the imagination at the bottom of which yawned she knew not what abyss.” “You’re sensitive and intelligent - gifts that are not everyone’s. They’re trump cards.” “She was wrong to depend so entirely on Pierre: that was a real mistake, she ought not to thrust responsibility for herself upon someone else.” “Things had barely changed during the past twenty years, the atmosphere was oppressive. Whenever Francoise came back to this flat, she felt that all those years had led absolutely nowhere: time was spread all around her in a quiet, stagnant pool. To live was to grow old, nothing more.” “By always avoiding questions of principle, she could easily come to a kind of understanding with her parents.” “She had the painful impression of being in exile. In the ordinary way, the centre of Paris was wherever she happened to be. Today, everything had changed.” “Anguish pierced her: it was not a definite pain, she would have to delve very deep into the past to unearth a similar uneasiness.” “What had happened now was that the present world was out of reach; not only was she exiled from Paris, she was exiled from the whole world. The people who were sitting on the terrace, the people who were walking in the street, were insubstantial, were shadows; the houses were nothing but painted black-clothes with no depth.” “Love was surely less simple than he thought. It was stronger than time, nevertheless it existed in time, and from instant to instant, it was the cause of misgivings, self-denial, and minor despondencies.” “And when you begin to question a decision, it’s always disturbing. Xaviere is a living question mark.” “Introspection is tiring. It’s dangerous... She would have had to re-examine everything from the beginning but that required a superhuman strength.” “Whatever you may say about life, it always seems to me to be just so many words.” “Long periods of boredom punctuated by short bursts of pleasure seemed completely natural to him.” “There was nothing anywhere to envy, or to regret, or to fear. The past, the future, love, unhappiness, were no more than a sound made with the mouth.” “How could her exact tone of voice, the scent of her room at that moment, be described? Words could bring you nearer the mystery, but without making it any less impenetrable; it only masked the heart in a more chilling shadow.” “If she now so often felt estranged from Pierre, it was because she had allowed him to progress alone down these paths of admiration and affection.” “It was a little frightening. In his tender phrases, his affectionate gestures, she saw only an intention of kindness. they were not wholly convincing, they did not register properly... could her doubting ever again be stopped?” “But these were only words; they were two separate persons... the result of her blind trust was that she suddenly found herself facing a stranger.” “But if you study her with a little sympathy you’ll perceive in all that a clumsy attempt to give a definite value to her life and to herself as a person. Even her respect for the social formulas - marriage, fame -- is still a form of this anxiety.” “Isn’t there any country where people can do as they like? No... you’re cornered.” (pg 145-146) “If I could have her to myself, I would love her. This domineering little girl, too, was nothign more than a tiny fragment of the warm, defenceless world.” “She would have to make up her mind once and for all to face up to all the changes that had taken plcae; for days and days now her thoughts had a tinger of bitterness... ‘I want to see clearly’”.

“...there were so many thoughts that she now kept to herself.” “... they must above all pay more attention to each other at every moment.” “Up to now, when she thought: We are separate, that separation was still a mutual misfortune that struck both of them, and that together they would remedy. Now she understood: to be separate was to live out teh separation alone.” “She felt that they dreaded the moment of departure, but that they found no pleasure in staying on there.”

#simone de beauvoir #she came to stay

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fishball-and-sweet-potato · 4 years ago

Text

Zero O'Clock - BirdCop Celebration + GIF Challenge (MLQC AU)

I just wanna join. I actually want to post this fic at ARMY day (9th of July), but here it is anyway!

Pairing : Leah Hong (MC) x Gavin Bai

Warning : triggering events (containing insecurity and anxiety)

Disclaimer : Leah is MC in this AU. In this AU, there is no Evol.

Genre : fluff

Words : 1,542

NB : this fic is also inspired from this song

“Leah, you should go home now. You just left the hospital yesterday, your body still needs time to be fully recovered,” Anna slowly shaked my body, waking me up.

Leah corrected her posture, “yeah, I know I should. But I don’t want to become a burden for all of you, and especially that’s because I’m in charge of this company now. I just feel like I’m the one that should be my fellow workers’ strength, and I failed you all, even my father…” unbeknownst to her, her eyes felt hot. Leah wanted to continue but her brain couldn’t process her emotions right now.

“No, you’re not. And believe me, we all have made mistakes when that talk show was supposed to be aired live. But still, we managed to do it well at last thanks to the content and technical errors,” Willow tried to assure her. Three days ago, Leah had a chance to interview Mrs. Peng, the owner of a well-known bak kut teh* shop named Seventh Heaven. The topic was about business’ survival strategies for small and medium enterprises amidst the economic crisis. Suddenly, her stomach felt painful and she couldn’t suppress it despite all her efforts, until she fainted. The first thing she thought when she gained my consciousness was, she was such an unprofessional disgrace for this show.

“I want to see the editing process for a while,” Leah replied, still refusing to do nothing.

“Boss, we can also lend you a shoulder. I’ll send it straight to you when it’s finished. Okay?” Kiki patted her shoulder.

Before Leah nodded in defeat, Minor continued, “Boss, I’m sorry for the shift of topic, but Gavin said to me that he will come to your house around 10 pm.”

She yawned, “why didn’t he tell me directly?”

Minor rolled his eyes, but suddenly he had a flustered look on his face, “eh, sorry, he already contacted you several times, but no answer from you.”

Leah checked my phone, it had no power. “Oh God, why am I so stupid? Gavin is definitely angry with me now,” she said resenting herself. The fact that she had done this earlier consumed all her sanity. She immediately turned on her phone, and her eyes almost popped out from their sockets seeing the amount of missed calls. The fact that this day was July 28th made her more shocked. “Okay, I gotta go now,” she said after her friends kept telling me the editing was almost finished.

Leah went to Seventh Heaven. Amidst the crowd, she could still hear the voice she knew really well greeted her first, “Leah, are you feeling better?”

“Mrs. Peng!” Leah slightly raised her voice and fastened her pace towards the middle-aged woman. “Yeah, I’m healthy now! I’m… I’m sorry…” suddenly the scene flashed her mind, her body felt heavy.

“You don’t need to. Let’s go inside,” Mrs. Peng replied, dragging her into the shop.

“I think the technical errors are made up…” Leah couldn’t help but loathed everything around her.

Mrs. Peng patted her, “we can’t prevent unexpected things from happening. Instead, the only thing we could do is to find ways so it would be meaningful.”

While Leah was digesting her words, Gavin’s smile entered her thought and erased her anxiety, “I want to buy two portions of pork tenderloin soup, one portion of fish soup, and one braised pork belly. All takeaways, please.”

“For who?” Mrs. Peng giggled. “Let me guess, your policeman friend…”

Leah blushed and tried to hide her embarrassment with all her might, “uh, Gavin, tomorrow is his birthday.”

Not long after, a waitress handed her orders. Leah waved goodbye at Mrs. Peng. Her home was quite far from her company and the shop, so she had to take a bus ride. She was listening to her favourite song, not realizing that she dozed off.

You know those days

Those days where you're sad for no reason

And it looks like everyone else except you is busy and fierce

Those days where your body is heavy

My feet won't set off, though it seems like I'm already too late

I'm hateful of the whole world

Yeah, here and there are click-clacking speed bumps

My heart grows crumpled and my words lessen

Why the hell? I ran so hard

Oh why to me

A bell sound gave her consciousness back. Finance Street Halt, Leah could read the sign clearly and hear the sound of the broadcaster telling the passengers to pay when they intended to leave the bus repeatedly. She hurriedly ran to my home, opened her phone. She just realized that she hadn’t replied to Gavin's messages. Without a second thought, she spammed him her apology. Not seeing any signs of his reply, she attempted to sleep because she was really beaten up. The only thing that kept her awake was the clock, reminding her of her faults and it was already 10.30 pm. She continued listening to the song, so she could relieve her stomach pain and irregular, fast-paced heartbeat.

Come home and lie in bed

Dizzy night, looking at the clock

Thinking if it was my fault?

Soon it will be midnight

When her mind was about to drift off, the bell rang. “Coming,” Leah said, running to the door. The first thing she saw after opening the door made her heart want to leap, but getting crumpled instead. Gavin was in his casual clothes, but with a solemn look on his face. “Gavin, you’re late. Come in,” she said, inviting him to enter her home. He only followed her without uttering any single word.

After both of them sat, he started speaking, “I’m sorry for not telling you, I just finished my work. Leah, have you eaten?”

Leah shook her head, “actually, I bought food from Seventh Heaven. Mrs. Peng is really generous despite all my mistakes.”

Seeing her held back her tears, Gavin approached her, then she felt a pair of warm arms encircled her. “You have done your best, Leah.”

“I’m just a nuisance,” she said coldly. “And yeah, the audience wasn’t really impressed because the airing time was rescheduled. That makes me think that I should get lost forever. And I even forget to return your calls...”

A pair of amber eyes pierced through her soul’s window, his hand patted her head gently, “I’m hateful of the world too. But, about the last thing, that makes me dead worried. Have I done something wrong? Because all I got is my own echo.”

Somehow, she finally managed to let out a laugh, “Minor told me that too. No, actually I’m just dumb. I forgot to charge my phone.”

Gavin sighed, a small but sincere smile curved from his mouth. “I’m here to accompany you tonight.”

Thanks to him, Leah felt much better. “Let’s eat now. I’ve been waiting for you so we can start making our tummy happy!” She was beyond glad because he loved the bak kut teh.

After the dinner was finished, she held his hand while guiding him to her bedroom. Gavin always gave her warmth despite his cold exterior. “Listen to this song with me, it really helps me cope with the present situation.”

Gavin was confused when he put one side of my earphones, “what song?”

God, how Leah wished she could cuddle him. She showed him the English translation in order to make him understand the meaning better. He was a bit sulky that she liked the boy group that sang it a bit too much, but he tried hard to hide it by cuddling her tight.

It won't be something like that

Will something be different?

But this day will be over

When the minute and second hands overlap

The world holds its breath for a little while

Zero o’clock

Her reminder popped up. It was already July 29th, zero o’clock. They kept listening to the song.

(Ooh-ooh) And you're gonna be happy

Like that snow that just settled down

Let's breathe, like the first time

(Ooh-ooh) And you're gonna be happy

Turn this all around

When everything is new, zero o'clock

Leah paused the song, pulled herself from his cuddle, “happy birthday, Potato. I hope at this new year of your life, you’ll be happier and healthier.”

Gavin cuddled her again, “thank you so much, my Pumpkin. My wish is the same for you. I hope I’ll be the one who makes you get the happiness you deserve.”

She blushed, how could he be so smooth at times. He laughed at my reddened face. “Why are you laughing? Let us pray,” she said to divert her embarrassment.

They were holding hands, silently pouring all their wishes.

Put my hands together to pray

It'll be better, for me

Hoping that tomorrow I'll laugh more, for me

When this song ends

May a new song begin

Hoping that I'll be a little happier, yeah

Gavin caressed her hair after he saw her yawned. “Sleepy?”

“Yeah, finally. But I’m joyful because it’s the tranquility that makes me sleepy, not the usual tiredness,” Leah snuggled closer to him.

“Sweet dreams for us, then,” he closed his eyes, hugging her in their sleep.

*bak kut teh : a pork ribs / meat soup dish with salted vegetables (this is how it looks like)

This is the GIF :))

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