#THIS IS SO GAY

[supselada]

Aughgh,,.. They r so cringe

[propertyofjameswilson]

Not talking, not doing anything, just enjoying the moment with bestie.

[tthoughtdaughter]

the girl across the street.

pairing: fem!reader x loser!ellie

summary: you’ve decided to move into a little house on ellie’s street, she sees you and almost dies from your natural beauty. being the big ass nerd she is, she decides to help you but continues to stumble on her words. instead of her helping you guys sit in your backyard for a bit and talk for hours only to find out you’re very similar.

warnings: none just fluff and ellie being a big loser.

a/n: ive been writing part 2 for ‘bad habits’ just wanted to take a break from it and write something i wanted to for awhile :)

it was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for you to move actually. not to hot, not to cold, just right! you called the people and waited for them to come so they could pick up the boxes that were stacked in piles among piles in your parents house.

they came and you helped them with very little strength into the moving truck. (you js picked up the light boxes but the people appreciated it.) they offered a lift there but you politely declined and hopped into your car.

it wasn’t so hot, but you still felt the excessive need to put on the aircon. you turned up the volume as one of your favourite songs had just come on, opening the windows and turning off the aircon (since it would be such a waste).

the whole ride there was a vibe, you felt a little sad when you had to hop out but you were beyond excited to see what your new house awaited for you.

you’ve obviously seen the inside before when you were looking around, but you just adored the street, the house itself — everything about this place was just so welcoming and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your time here.

you looked around as you hopped out, the moving truck had gotten here before you and they were already effortlessly lifting boxes into your house. you admired the little garden that you could build on out the front of your house. there were flowers everywhere, and it just looked beyond beautiful.

you genuinely couldnt believe you scored such a place. i mean apart from the rent being so expensive, you were still super happy.

you were talking to one of the moving people when you saw a glimpse of a very handsome girl staring at you through your window. jesus, you thought. you zoned out, completely out of it like literally not listening to whatever the guy was rambling on about. you were just staring right back at the mysterious, beautiful girl through her window.

she averted her attention from your lower half to your face and got extremely flustered after realising you were staring right back at her.

‘fuck, she totally saw you looking! stop being a fucking idiot ellie.’ she repeated over and over, turning around, crashing her palm into her forehead and falling backwards onto her bed.

you stifled a giggle and the man thought you were laughing at him. he full on side eyed you.

‘s—sorry! what was it you were saying?’ you smiled politely at him. you were an angel in disguise is what ellie thought. pretty face, hair, clothes, body..

you were the definition of perfect. now you probably thought ellie was a big loser.

you didnt, actually the complete opposite of a loser. you thought she was beautiful, charming even. though you two have never actually held a conversation before, you enjoyed the thought of talking to her.

ellie really really really wanted to invite you over, maybe bring something over to welcome you to the neighbourhood. but she had no idea how to cook properly or even bake, ellie doesnt know how she lives on her own. but it already looked like her next door neighbour, marjorie, was already bringing freshly baked cookies over.

fuck marjorie and her old woman cooking skills, there goes ellies chance. she watched you embrace marjorie with a warm hug, your enchanting smile plastered on your face. she swears if she ever catches marjorie bringing over anything else shes going to fully box her.

‘cant wait til’ that old bat goes into a retirement home.’ ellie spat. its not like marjorie is so innocent either, she constantly tells ellie to dress like a proper woman, whispering to all the other old women on the street about her being a so called ‘dyke’. yeah screw marjorie.

ellie rolled her eyes and fell back onto her bed, only to go into a deep, well-needed slumber.

the next morning, ellie had spent all day making a drawing of you, adding in all of your perfections, thinking whether or not to give it to you. she was in a deep ass ponder when she got a knock on the door.

‘marjorie, i dont have any more sugar!’ she yelled. then she heard your faint giggle. oh fuck.

she rushed up from her seat, completely forgetting to cover the very obvious drawing of you. she twisted the doorknob a couple times with her clammy hands.

‘h—hey! sorry..’ she stuttered. you just flashed her one of your smiles and came in. was she dreaming? why are you in her house? what the actual fuck is going on.

‘i uh, i got your text! you said you made something for me?’ you smiled again, this time it reaching your eyes. ellie looked so confused, like a lost dog.

‘i texted you?’ holy shit, holy shit. ellie was so baked this morning, she didnt actually mean to send that text to you. (please ignore the fact that reader literally didnt give ellie their number ellies just built different.)

her face dropped, all colour draining from it. ‘im so sorry, ‘i—i didint mean to actually send that text.’ she just babbled on and on and on until you glanced at her table.

‘who’re you drawing?’ you pointed at the table and she shuffled over to it. she shook her head and closed the drawing book. im such a mess, she thought.

‘’s no one.. not important.’ she smiled awkwardly. you just giggled, with your fucking cute mouth, she was internally dying, she felt so hot-headed.

‘oh! ellie, youre burning up! your face— its very red.’ you rushed over, concerned, oblivious to the fact that she was blushing over the thought of you.

ellie shook her head and shooed away your hands. she gave you a polite but very awkward, half-smile. ‘’m fine, its fine! i uh— dont wanna waste your time, you best be going.’

you frowned, was it something you did? why was she excusing you out of her house.

on the other hand ellie was stressing. ‘you best be going.’ who the fuck says something like that. she was staring at her feet, then she glanced up at your face and noticed the slight frown.

‘yeah, sorry. cya els!’ els? holy guacamole. she was even more red faced then before if thats even possible, the tips of her ears were quite literally bright red.

‘no-no wait, can you just maybe come by again tomorrow, i havent actually finished what i was making for yo—‘ shes said to much. you just stood there smirking.

‘so you did make something for me?’ she was completely and utterly dumbfounded. mouth agape and just nodding her pretty little head.

‘ill be here at this time tomorrow, dont fail me ellie.’ you grinned, you enjoyed teasing this “stranger”. not to mention she was completely ogling over you when she opened the door to you.

‘y—yeah!’ she swallowed hard. she waved as you left the house and you flashed her one of your stupid smiles with your pearly teeth that she’ll be thinking about for days.

well, ellie was officially fucked.

[wandasaura]

this is the face of a woman who knows her audience… 🏳️‍🌈🪩🪞

[orengejoshi]

by popular demand

[dawnthefox24]

*Rody is getting yelled at by a costumer with his wife  by the menu and is trying to explained calmly to him that it changes daily and which is beyond his control*

Rody:*is trying not to be rude to the guy*...Sir I understand how you feel but the menu changes daily if you want I-

Random guy : LOOK BUDDY I WANT THE MAIN FROM YESTERDAY NOT THIS CRAP!!

Random lady: *looks nervous but is also embarrassed as she has her appetizer *Honey please...

Random guy : NO THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT!!

Rody: I know but please lower you're voice and-

Random guy : *Throws his date's  food and dumps wine on Rody*SO USELESS, ARE YOU INCOMPETENT THAT YOU CAN'T DO YOU'RE FUCKING JOB RIGHT !!!

Random lady: *smacks her date on the head*HONEY!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU APOLOGISE TO HIM!!

Rody:*feels everyone looking at him as he stays quiet trying so hard not to break down he needed to get away*

Random guy : I'M NOT APOLOGISING FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN'T DO THEIR FUCKING JOB!!!!

Random lady:*looks at Rody* I'm so sorry...

Rody:*wipes some of the food off and leaves as he heads towards the kitchen * excuse me...

-Rody enters the kitchen as the chefs looked at him before walking over too Vincent quietly -

Vincent: *looks Rody and noticed the mess on him* Rody what happe-

Rody:*breaks down crying in front of him and didn't know why* C-can I...Vince...Can I go h-home...

Vincent:*eyes widen and takes his hands to get him cleaned up * come were going to the bathroom and EVERYONE GET BACK TOO WORK!!

The chef's:*freaked out and went back too cooking*

Vincent:*takes Rody too the bathroom and starts cleaning him too the best of his abilities *Deep breaths rody...what happened

Rody:*breaks down crying even more*.. I...I tried to tell...t-the costumer...t-that the menu c-c-changes daily and-

Rody:*hugs Vincent sobbing against him*

Vincent:*tensed up a bit before hugging Rody rubbing his back*I'll talk to him okay Rody stay in my office and wait their okay.

Rody:*coughs a sob but nodded against him* I-i'm sorr-

Vincent: Don't apologise Lamoree, I don't tolerate other assaulting my workers mainly you Rody.

Rody:*whispers* thank you..

Vincent: Go to my office and I'll deal with the customer okay

Rody:...okay....

Vincent: *pats his head and took Rody towards his office leaving him their* Sit down and I'll make sure the chef's will make you some tea okay...

Rody:*nods softly with his head still low*...Okay.....

Vincent:*leaves Rody as he heads leaves the room* *the chef's felt very tense and scared with Vincent with how calm and angry he was as the cooked a bit faster not facing him*

Vincent:*noticed the woman and the man arguing with one another and went over too them and just stood waiting to be noticed*

Random lady: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!! ASSAULTING A SERVER OF ALL THINGS!!!

Random guy: IT DOESN'T MATTER!! HE HONESTLY DESERVED IT AND CLEARLY HE WAS-

Vincent:*clears his voice cutting the guy off* Was what?

Random guy: *turns his heads towards Vincent * who the fuck are yo-

Vincent:*pours a glass of water on the guy head staring at him* I'm the chef of this establishment and I don't tolerate people who harass my servers.....

Random guy:*gets up pretty pissed as he ready to punch Vincent for pouring water on him* THE FUCK IS YOU'RE PROBLEM!!!

Vincent: *has his arms crossed*Oh I see, you didn't have a problem trashing my waiter but a little bit of water ruins everything....

Random guy: CLEARLY A CHEF WOULDN'T POUR A DRINK ON THE COSTUMER SINCE-

Vincent: *Grabs the knife and stabs it into the guy's sleeve cuts him off now glaring at him * The costumer is what? Is right?

Random guy:*is now in total fear* Y-YO..You're a psycho!! T-The fuck is wrong with YOU!?!?

Random woman:*covers her mouth in horror and seemed to be frozen in place unsure what to do*

Vincent:*grabs the guy by the collar* THE MENU CHANGES DAILY YOU CAN GET THE WHAT YOU WANT DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!

Random guy:*in a state of fear*...yes sir...

Vincent: I CAN'T HEAR YOU AND SPEAK UP !! YOU'RE IN MY RESTAURANT!!!

Random guy: *closed his eyes* YES SIR!!

Vincent:*takes the knife out from the sleeve and smiles like as if nothing happened* Alright now you are banned from this place and I apologise for the inconvenience that occurred

Random guy:*gets up and leaves taking his wife with him*let's go....

Random lady:*fallows her date still shocked by what unfolded*....

Vincent:*watches them leave and went back too check up on Rody*

*Once back inside Vincent went too the office and found Rody on the couch looking down before he sat down next too him*

Vincent:....I Had a talk with them Rody, their banned from this place...

Rody:....

Vincent:....Do you want anything? Tea?

Rody:...Tea would be nice....Am I fir-

Vincent: No you're not fired and yes I'll make you some tea don't worry...

Rody:...The guy didn't hurt you right?

Vincent: No not at all and Rody if things like this happened again you come and get me okay

Rody:*leans against Vincent a bit and closed his eyes feeling a bit more calm * Alright...Thank you Vince

Vincent:*feels his face heat up and looked away from him a bit* Anytime and Rody take a break I'll handle the orders okay...

Rody:... I'm sorry...

Vincent:*rolls his eyes and gets up* Stop apologising you did nothing wrong besides Rody, you're the best waiter I have okay so don't let that asshole make you think other wise got it Lamoree

Rody:*looks a bit surprised at Vincent and smiles* I...You think I'm-

Vincent: *waves his hand* Yes, Yes now what type of tea do you want?

Rody:*smiles*Earl grey would be nice....

Vincent:*nods and leaves his office to make the tea* alright I prepare you some tea, just rest up Rody okay...

Rody:*nods and watches him leave before smiling softly too himself* Thanks Vince

[rickswh0r3]

happy pride y’all !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[fuckingstrange]

——————————————————————————————————————

Tensed Up

——————————————————————————————————————

GENRE: SMUT + FLUFF

WARNINGS: Implied construction worker!reader, idk they got dirty at their job, Reid being cute, oral sex (reader receiving), handjob (reader receiving), cum-swallowing, multiple orgasms, maybe overstimulation?, spit as lube

WORDS: 1,135

PAIRING: Spencer Reid x m!reader

——————————————————————————————————————

Spencer sits on the floor of his apartment, curled up in a ball with some pajama pants on and a simple hoodie as he reads. You had just gotten home from work, exhausted and beat. The sight of him so relaxed and comfortable makes you smile, though you don't want to join him until you get out of your dirtied work clothes.

Spencer turns to see you, having heard you walking down the hall. He scrambles to stand up and runs over to you, looking like a kid on Christmas as he greets you with a hug and a kiss. “Hey! You're home!” He exclaims with a smile, peppering your face with kisses like he usually does. You reach up, gently grabbing his lower jaw and guiding him away after only a few though. As much as you do want to spend time with him, you're worried about being so dirty when he hates unclean things. His hair looks damp, meaning he just had a shower and wouldn't want to join you anyways.

He frowns a bit when you guide him away, tilting his head like a confused puppy as he asks “What's wrong?”, Thinking he either did something or you're just grumpy after work. “Nothing, sweetheart.” You assure him. “I just don't think you wanna be kissing all on me. I'm dirty.” You gesture to the dirt covering your clothes and face.

Spencer shrugs and reaches forward, using his thumb to lightly scratch the dirt off of your face, whispering “I don't mind.” This shocks you a bit, the action of him trying to get the dirt off your face making your heart melt, a small smile forming on your face again. You don't stop him when he leans forward to plant his lips on yours, letting your eyes flutter shut as you kiss back. It's soft and sweet, even as he reaches down to help start shedding you of your work clothes, mumbling something about getting you into the shower. His kisses trail down to your jaw, kissing wherever there isn't tons of dirt crusted to your skin, using one hand to reach up and scratch off wherever there are clumps.

You let him undress you, all the way down to your boxers. Your cheeks flush a light red when he slips his hand in, his slender fingers wrapping around your soft shaft and starting to pump it, feeling the way it starts to harden and even twitches in his hand. You can't help but groan, arms wrapping around his shoulder to help keep yourself up. Your body melts under the gentle touch, letting out a small whine when he pulls you out of your boxers, wanting a better angle to continue his ministrations. The cold air hits your hardened cock, making you shiver.

Spencer presses his lips back against yours, guiding you by the waistband of your boxers over to the couch. “I can feel how tense you are, baby.” He whispers as he pushes you to sit down, your cock twitches as he slips to his knees in front of you and returns his hand to your length, stroking it from base to tip before leaning forward to lick up the underside of it. Your hand shoots to the back of his head, fingers carding through his damp hair and getting a firm grip on the wettend strands. He suddenly takes you into his mouth, swallowing you all the way down. You immediately buck up with a gasp, head tossing back. He lifts his head until only the tip of your dick is in his mouth and swirls his tounge around it, the feeling making you moan out as you melt back against the couch.

His hands move up to rest on your thighs as he begins bobbing his head, gagging a bit whenever your hips buck, but he doesn't stop. “Fuck, Spencer, Please-” You choke out, knowing you won't last as long as he probably wants. He tightens his grip on your thigh, continuing to mercilessly bob his head, taking a second to flatten his tounge against your tip before swallowing you down again. You cum fairly quick, back arching as a whine slips from your lips while you spill into his mouth. Spencer chokes a bit, but swallows down as much as he can. He pulls off of you to use his thumb to push in whatever of your seed had gotten on the corner of his mouth.

Just as you think he's gonna stand up, he suddenly leans forward to start kitten-licking the head of your cock, making you twitch from the feeling. “Spencer..” You whisper, though it trails off into a moan when you watch him spit on his hand before reaching up to start stroking your cock again. “I'm not gonna stop till every last bit of tension is out of these muscles.” He whispers with a grin, caressing your inner thigh with his thumb. You whine and shudder, your cock not even having a chance to soften before he's pumping you till you're completely hard again.

His hand glides easily up and down, and each time he leans forward to lick around your tip, gathering up the salty precum, you groan and twitch in response. He massages your thigh and whispers soft words of encouragement, whenever his tounge isn't toying with the head of your cock his mouth is down at your thigh placing open mouthed kisses. Your second orgasm approaches even quicker than your first, and you can't help but melt back against the couch while letting noises flow freely from your lips.

Spencer moves his hand quicker, leaning forward to wrap his lips around the head just as he flicks his wrist, letting you spill into his mouth again. The cry of his name that falls from your lips makes him groan around you, the vibrations of the noise making you gasp and twitch, another stream of cum shooting out onto his tounge.

He leans back on his knees and wipes his mouth, stroking you until you soften and finally letting go, fucking you back into your boxers and crawling into your lap. He curls up into you and kisses your cheek, asking “Are you wanting to bathe or nap first?”, to which you answer with “Nap.”

You pull him down with you, snuggling up into him. The house is a bit cold, so you find yourself curling into him to try and get some of his body heat. You frown when he pushes you back, though watch as he sits up and proceeds to slip off his hoodie while saying “Here, wear this.” You happily take it and slip it on before snuggling up to him again. Spencer kisses you on the forehead as he gets comfortable, letting his eyes slip shut.

[sugarbear2001]

[vi0letchemistry]

a three-part story.

[enjithequeer]

Jimmy Stop you have enough husband's/partners/Boyfriends/lovers

And Jimmy talking about BigBs hole. Bro needs to chill. /Hj

[imdoingsortagay]

This man failed the be normal about men challenge 😭

[ssyylvianss]

WHAT IS THIS BRO

[uglygreenjacket]

[anobliviousnerd]

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALING*

i can't, y'all. i can't.

[ligercat]

What the Fuck Was That - Evil Dead: the Musical 2014 National Tour