#THIS IS SO FUNNY HOW ARE YOU NOT BREAKING COVERT THO???

[fregget-frou]

Enough time has passed let them be stupid goofs

They are bros forever your honor they run a ghost busting yt channel

[spextronaut]

My thoughts on this week’s episode of the Mandalorian:

Rip Nevarro ig and they were doing so well smh

If this is another filler ass episode I will be so upset what happened to this being a show about Mando

I wish this wasn’t a Disney show bc these bitches need to be able to curse each other out so bad

Oh thank good Mando is here

BABY GIRL <33333

I do truly miss this being the Mando + Grogu show but I don’t entirely hate what’s happening (I don’t like it tho)

YEAHHHH GROGU <33333

lmao they just have. a fucking talking hammer it’s very funny

You should lay your lives down bc Grogu is cute as shit

Oh okay. That. That’s not what i expected but that’s a slay good job Paz

when people call Din by his proper name <33333

Okay this episode has gotten better since the start that’s fun

Din is being such a goddamn babygirl today I adore him

Mandalorians are really just born to slay huh

Paz is being a badass again I do love him sometimes

This feels like they’re fighting a losing battle and I’m not crazy about thatttt

Well they are at least on the ground

The Armorer my fucking beloved I love when she gets to beat the shit out of people

And the Mandos are winning again they’re slaying so fucking hard <3333

SLAYYYYY I LOVE THEM <333

Once again we’re proving that Din and Bo-Katan work best when they’re together and that’s some sibling shit right there

GROGU!!

omfg they’ve got a fuckin home now <3

Oh god the Armorer wishes to speak with her

Where in the flip flap fuck are they

Oh it’s the sewers it’s been a hell of a minute

Remove her fuckin,,, excuse me what now

The Armorer is making her break the Creed???? Her of all people???

Im so confused what is happening rn

Ohhh bitch Din was the one who was supposed to get this arc fuck you >:(

Din has the Darksaber he should be the one uniting them you fucking whore >:(

She can do it without the Darksaber??? What’s Din meant to do?? Is he gonna lead the Covert while Bo-Katan unites the Mandalorians???

What in the fuck is that it’s very very threatening

Ah hell Moff Gideon is back smh I’m sick of his shit

Mandos rescued Moff Gideon??? What???

Overall this was just… not that good of an episode? Like it was fun and I enjoyed the battles but it really made me realize how far we’ve strayed from s1 and how the writers seem to just not give a shit about Din and Grogu and their arcs anymore

I’d rate it a 3/5 bc there were good scenes but overall it just isn’t that good anymore? Save for designs and acting the show’s gone seriously downhill and I’m hoping that if it gets renewed for a s4 (if it hasn’t already) it starts going uphill again considering all the other shows coming out that can set up future Star Wars projects

Just a side note, but I hate to say that TBoBF did a better job with Din and Grogu than Mando s3 is, and that is really really sad imo. But that just… did better with interactions and characterization, especially with seeing the two of them separated? I think it would’ve been better for Grogu to be seen in TBoBF, have Din give Ahsoka the chain mail, but then we just don’t see Luke give Grogu the option to leave or not? So that way we get to see Grogu hijinks while he’s on his own with R2-D2 and/or Din trying to rebuild himself without his son around or trying to get Grogu back throughout s3

[mando-din-lorian]

A fair point indeed, however, there’s more context to it.

Lol, actually tho, I wasn’t thinking of Heavens Gate or any of that at all actually. I was thinking FLDS, Jehovah’s Witness etc.

I agree that the old Death Watch was very cult-ish. Extremely so. But Din’s covert has been referred to as “The Children of the Watch,” they came from Death Watch, but they no longer ARE Death Watch.

The thing is, the covert WASNT wrong in saying that the world outside is dangerous and that the Galaxy was out to get them. We see over and over again Din being attacked solely for his armor. The first episode was a good example of that, when that group of (idk what they were?? Slavers? Mercenaries? Black marketeers??) approached him for his Beskar. And season 2, episode 1, when that one guy was going to “harvest him for his shiny shell.” His covert could only go out one at a time for their safety. The Galaxy IS dangerous, especially for them, and it WAS out to get them. The only reason Din and his covert survived for so long is BECAUSE they stuck together.

When Din broke the Creed he was labeled an apostate but for someone who isn’t welcome he sure does get to hang out with them a lot. Everytime he’s come back to the covert, so far, he hasn’t really been turned away (unless you count the last time with Paz in episode 3, but even then, Paz is, like, the only one being passive aggressive with Din and I believe there’s more nuance to that too.) Everytime Din has sought council with the Armorer, she has sat down with him, and listened to him, and has even aided him. He asked how he could be redeemed, and she answered. He asked for the opportunity to redeem himself, and she let him.

I don’t view them distancing from Din as punishing him for breaking the creed, but for their own safety. As the Armorer said in season 1 “Our secrecy is our survival, and out survival is our strength.” The reason Din and his covert is still alive and kicking is because they adhered so closely to the Creed and kept to themselves. We haven’t seen a lot of other Mandalorian sects, but Bo said that all her allie’s left her when she didn’t come back with the Darksaber; they abandoned her and her quest (it’s kind of funny, because that’s exactly what a lot of people are saying Din’s cover did to HIM. They left him because of broke a promise. The irony.) But where Bo’s ally’s all scattered, no support, no structure, Din’s covert is still very much alive AND rebuilding. They have foundlings. A place to call home (for the time being.) They’re armored. They have community. Something that Bo, with all her conquests and ally’s, doesn’t have.

I do agree that Din probably would seek out to redeem himself out of obligation or a sense of duty. I don’t think the covert is perfect, but I don’t think it’s evil or wrong either.

Bo doesn’t have anyone, yes, but neither the Armorer nor the covert knew about that. Din, who’s had the most interaction with Bo, didn’t even know she lost her ally’s until she told him, and he hasn’t had the opportunity to tell anyone in his covert. How could the Armorer or the covert try to exploit something they don’t even know?

Once again, I don’t think Din’s covert is perfect, but I think they are a group of people who have been hunted/killed to near extinction and they’re doing what they can to survive. Following the Creed as they have has ensured they’re survival, it’s given the community and safety. It’s given them the opportunity to rebuild and grow their numbers. It’s given them something to FIGHT for. We praise Din for all his skill and the things he’s been teaching Grogu, we forget that he was TAUGHT them by his Covert. The very things we praise him for are things the covert taught him. The reason Din is alive, AT ALL, is because of the things they’ve taught him.

I would love for their views to be challenged and for them to see different creeds and Mandalorians and grow from it. But I don’t think they’re a cult, I think they’re a group of survivors building a community in a galaxy that has already almost wiped them out.

I was so worried that they were going to full on write Din’s covert off as an actual cult this is season, and I’m so so happy that’s not that case so far.

I think there’s so much more nuance to Din’s covert that a lot of fandom don’t give it credit for. I swear, some of ya’ll act like Din is being held captive by his covert (and Bo too after the recent episode) and it’s like…they’re not.

The Armorer literally told Bo that she’s been redeemed by the way of their Creed and if she WANTS to she can join them (for however long she wants to be there), but she is free to leave any time she desires. No one is going to hold her captive there.

Same with Din. Yes, he broke his creed and became an apostate, but they didn’t hunt him down and strip him of his armor. This is the Way they follow and they’ve survived so long—have been together so long—because they stuck to is to rigidly. I love how faithful Din is to his Way. I love how much it means to him. The covert is his family. Of course he’s going to fight for it.

I don’t know, some peoples relationship with Din’s covert in this fandom is weird. Like yeah, it’s not perfect, but it’s not a full-blown cult keeping all its members locked away from the rest of the galaxy. They’re a people on the brink of extinction and doing what they can to survive.

I just think we’ve gone so long with just fanon content that it’s skewing perception on canon content.

[obixwan]

it always leads to you

pairings: padawan f reader x cody

word count: 1,700 ish

blurb: after struggling to keep her relationship with cody a secret, she breaks it off with him

warnings: pre established relationship. sneaking around, the yuckyness of the Jedi order, conflicted feelings

notes: i love cody so much it’s not even funny at this point. This could have had so much more potential tho

masterlist

graphic made by the lovely @saradika 🫶🏻 i love this so much 🥲 and the sunburst pendant is PERFECT.

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

The edges of the sunburst pendant digs into the soft flesh of your breasts, leaving indented markings on your skin. It is a constant reminder that none of this is ever going to be comfortable, or easy, or normal. Everyday, it is like trying to move against the tide. Everything is pulling you away. And you are tired.

Stolen looks in shadowed hallways. Soft whispers on the bridge as you overlook a war torn planet. Gentle touches in passing made to look like accidents. Hallways too skinny, ships too cramped. Fingertips grazing as he hands back your lightsaber or reports to pour over, strategies to study. Clandestine yearnings and hidden messages and late night talking as the ship flies past stars that blur in the speed of hyperspace. Dreams you shouldn’t be having about someone who doesn’t belong to you and never could. Excuses and lingerings that should mean so much more.

It’s eating away at you. You dwell on it, rotation after rotation, assignment after assignment. The only relief you feel is when you’re locked away in your quarters at the temple, with no war and nothing to remind you of him. The box of trinkets and gifts he’s given you over the years live in a locked box underneath your bed. Out of sight, out of mind. Or something like that.

But when you’re on the ship together? Everything is inescapable and allconsuming. The way he checks in on you before he heads to his own bunk. The way he watches you as you tinkered with the inner workings of your lightsaber. The way you wake with the memory of him all over you, sweat clinging to your skin. The way you can feel him all around you, everywhere you go. There is no peace. His feelings and thoughts project on you, choking you, stealing the air from your lungs.

It had all started a year or so ago, when Obi-Wan had paired you together for a covert mission, with the aim of blowing up a separatist temple. You ended up getting captured, and were forced to spend days cramping into a cell together. But those close quarters had brought something down. You were both emotionally exposed to each other in ways you had never experienced with another person, let alone a commanding officer.

The something shared between the two of you at the hands of the Separatists turned into lingering glances and secret touches. It became more than a brush of the shoulders when passing in the hallways. It became softened smiles, hungry hands wondering. Gentle whispers. It was heaven, with him. But there was a badness to it.

The betraying nature of the relationship. Both of you breaking sworn oaths in even the simplest acts of being together. The restraint you had to exercise when Cody came back from a recon mission injured, a cut down the side of his face that had turned into a nasty scar. You had cried yourself to sleep that night. Obi-Wan’s suspicious looks. He knows, of course. How could he have not figured it out, Obi-Wan being who he is? Anakin and Padme being who they are? It makes you laugh, maybe you were destined to destroy yourself through the love of another.

“How are you meant to pass your trails when your mind is always elsewhere?” Obi-Wan would scold you, brows furrowed with concern or irritation.

You’d apologise, focus on the task at hand until it gave you a headache, and then your brain would find its way back to Cody and then you’d hiss through your teeth as the training droid found it’s mark again, leaving another welted burn on your skin. Obi-Wan would scold you again, claiming you were worse than Anakin. You probably were.

No matter how hard you tried to focus on the task at hand, your mind would become clouded. Either with wonder, at what exactly Cody was doing or concern, if he was safe. It got to the point Obi-Wan had threatened to pull you from the battlefield before you became a liability.

The days aboard the ship seemed to drag. Wake up, lightsaber training, breakfast, gym, quick refresh before lunch, lunch itself, battle reports or strategies, dinner, downtime, repeat. All while dancing around Cody. Which is harder than it had any right to be, considering how closely he worked with Obi-Wan.

But Cody eventually learns your routine. With the help of Obi-Wan, no doubt. On the third day of space travel, he corners you on your way back to your quarters after dinner. You knew he had been trying to catch your eye all dinner from his seat, a few tables over. You forced yourself to rush through your meal, excusing yourself from the table, telling the boys you were sat with that you had extra strategies to go through.

You groan internally as you see him push himself up from the table at the same time you get up. You rush out the door regardless. For once in your life, you’re cursing Obi-Wan and his willingness to turn the other cheek when it comes to his padawan and his commanding trooper and the possibilities of an infidelity happening right under his nose.

“You’re ignoring me.” He says, as he follows you down the hall to your quarters. “Why?”

You sigh, throwing your head back but you keep walking. “We can’t keep doing this, Cody.”

He doesn’t say anything until you’re both locked in the safety of your room, the scene so familiar but not usually this tense. Usually, Cody would be having you in ways no other man even dared to imagine. But not this time. “What do you mean?”

“It’s destroying me.” You say, as you start to unravel your Jedi robes. You pull up your under shirt, revealing thousands of laser burns from the training droid. Some are old, scarred over little marks that could be mistaken as scars from the Jux Pox. Others have turned into nasty scabs that refuse to heal, that itch against the rough spun material of your tunics. The fresher ones are red, welted and still sting. “I can’t even beat a training droid.” You drop your shirt. “How do you expect me to win on a battlefield when all I can think about, all I can feel, is you.”

Cody is watching you, a grim frown on his features. His scar scrunches up his face, and his lips are pulled downward. You can feel the turmoil crashing over him in waves. It hits you over and over again, like the thump of a stun plaster.

You shake your head, leaving him standing at your bed as you begin to go through your nightly routine. “I’m sorry, Cody. But I just can’t keep doing this.”

“You’re right.” He calls after you, stopping you in your tracks, hands buried in your drawer trying to find your night clothes. “It’s destroying us. So why do we keep doing it? Why keep sneaking around?”

“What do you mean, why keep sneaking around? What are you saying? It’s the only way we can be together.” Your heart is in your chest. And you're not sure whose pulse you’re feeling; if it's his or yours, but it’s doing overtime.

“Let’s just walk away.” He says, walking towards you to take your hands in his own, the rough calluses of his thumbs rubbing across your knuckles. The way he’s done so many times before. “We could leave. Go somewhere they would never find us.”

You yank your hands out of his, pulling them away like he’s burnt you. In a way he has. “You’re talking about treason.” You say, taking a step back. “and Cody, the chip. They’d find us.”

He follows you across the room, sitting on the bed next to you. He forces you to face him. “I’ll remove it. I’ll find a way.” He pleads but you’re still shaking your head. “We both know we are meant to be together. We are one half of a whole.” He says, forehead touching your own.

You pull away and pull him up off your bed. “You’re too good of a soldier, Cody.” You place a soft kiss on his check. His eyes start welling up with unspilled tears. “It would haunt you until the day we die.”

“Please.” He says.

Everything is flashing before you. The shared nights in each other’s arms, Cody waking up in the early hours to sneak back to his own bunk. The early mornings on strange planets, both offering to take the graveyard watch. Rough hands caressing your thighs. His own force signature brushing up against yours in a way that set the hairs on the back of your neck up. Late night laughing as the stars of the universe wiz by. Secret kisses, secret moments, that are yours and his and no one else’s.

The situation before you is so familiar... Cody in your room, you in some state of undress, everyone else carrying on with their day. But instead, he’s crying and pleading with you to run away with him. You’re not sure how you got here; in the middle of an illicit relationship with someone who could never wholly be yours, or you his. Every road you have ever taken, every decision you have ever made has led you here, to a road that is splitting in front of you. On one side, lies Cody and a life on the run but you’d be together and free from any implications of jedi and the republic… until they find you. It’s selfish and indulgent and it's the life you dream about. On the other side, lies a career in the Jedi order, the knighthood you’re so close to achieving, a life standing up for others too weak to use their own voice. Selfless and the exact thing you were born for. And you were born for it, or the force wouldn’t call to you like it does. You know what you have to do.

You shake your head, trying to clear it of all the muddled thoughts and screaming voices. I love you. Yes, I’ll run with you. Let‘s leave tonight. “We serve something bigger than ourselves, Commander.” And you open the door for him to leave.

[strawberryspence]

when death knocks on your door

Angst/Fluff [18+] | Spencer Reid x FEM! BAU! Reader

Summary: Some trauma tears people apart, while some brings people together. SSA Doctor Spencer Reid and SSA Doctor Y/N Y/L/N is brought together by the death of SSA Emily Prentiss.

Word Count: 3,13k 

Warnings: based on the Ian Doyle/Emily Prentiss character arc so some spoilers for s6-s7. talks about death (a lot of it), mention of drug use, allusions to depression, attempted suicide (nothing graphic), mention of cancer & car crash, a few curse words, description of smut, its very vague (one part only), mentions of therapy, HAPPY ENDING (i am not a monster)

Writer's Note: Hello! A bit of a heavier topic on today's fic! I picked apart the whole Emily arc and this is written basically in the reader's perspective. I love writing angst but I can never end it with sad endings. So I hope you enjoy this, I am very proud of how it turned out! 💛

GIF is made by yours truly. Its surprisingly hard to find "purple shirt + sweater vest spencer reid" gifs.

Death.

Death.

Death comes in different shapes and forms.

For Spencer, he has seen it up close with Haley and Hotch, but never with someone in his family or close group of friends. He sees death in the form of abandonment, in ways when people leave him and a part of him goes with them.

For you, you were familiar with death. Death looms over you. You’re father dying when you were younger and then you’re mother in your teens. 

Death comes when your father was killed in a car accident involving a drunk driver. It was fast, in a blink, death sweeps him and takes him. All her father’s life and dreams gone in a second, with a crash.

Death comes when your mother was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer, the fucking bitch, takes her time. It was slow, like it was enjoying the pain. It takes and it takes till its taken everything and the last thing it has taken is your mother.

And death comes when it takes Emily Prentiss. This was your best friend, partner in crime and roommate. Her death wasn’t fast, it wasn’t slow, its painstakingly in the middle while you try to get her blood off your hands while sobbing in the SUV as Derek drives way past the legal speed to get to the hospital.

In her death, you find yourself being swallowed by something that you were not. Something bigger, something you can’t describe. The team sees this weeks after she has been buried. You were the same person, and you were a different person, all at once.

One night, when death was about to knock on your door as you hold a knife to your wrist, ready to meet Death, ready to tell him off, it is then when chance knocks on your apartment door.

Spencer is at your door, a sobbing mess with three bottles of dilaudid clenched in his hands. He stumbles in your new apartment avoiding the piles of boxes unopened. You just moved, not being able to sleep in the apartment you and Emily shared.

“I am sorry. I-I am sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know where to go. JJ was... busy and I am so close... so close.” Your heart softens at how desperate he looks, Spencer doesn’t know how strong he is to you, being able to ask for help when you were just about to end it all.

You take the bottles from him, setting it on the counter as you guide him to your couch. He clings to you as you both sit on the couch, crying and sobbing.

“Death is among us. Avoiding him is what makes us stronger." You whisper to him and he cries harder.

Something is so bitterly comforting when someone shares the same pain you are suffering. It hurts, but in a funny way, it hurts less when some shares it with you.

So you cling to Spencer as he does to you and you let it all go. You cry as much as he does as he holds you and as you hold him.

You both wake up the next day, with a full 8 hours of sleep, something you both have not had in weeks.

“Thank you.” Spencer whispers and you smile, stroking his hair, “Thank you.” You say it back at him.

You were sure that Emily is laughing at her grave. I had to die for you to finally make a move on your crush. You shake her voice off your head. Now is not the time for silly crushes.

It becomes a routine, finding comfort and safety in each others presence, Spencer almost lives in your apartment. His toothbrush sits on the cup besides yours in the bathroom counter, his clothes takes up half of your closet, his books scattered on the shelfs and his cups on the kitchen counter.

You tell yourself its platonic. Spencer tells himself its platonic. The team doesn’t say anything, only thankful that you were reverting back to your old self and Spencer is getting better.

You want more. It was hard to admit to yourself. But you wanted more with Spencer. Your little crush now growing into something bigger than yourself. You wanted futures full of him and what you have right now is not right. Shared trauma is not love.

Three months into the set up of him basically living in your apartment, you suggest therapy for both of you. You are a Doctor of Psychology and you know the percussions of what you’re doing.

Spencer is shocked but he understands. This was your territory, Spencer knows that this was the right thing to do so he agrees. You lay out all the options to Spencer, all the therapy and how both of you should change your routines more often.

It works. He stops sleeping on your bed every night (he still comes tho, just on the harder nights where he needs to hold you to remind himself that death has yet to take you).

You have breakfast together every morning, using it to comfort each other rather than sleeping together every night. It works.

The therapy helps you both as you both move on from Emily’s death. That is until seven months later.

-

Declan was missing. You’ve let the Emily case go but Derek has not, you know this and you let him. Every time you want to do something to help Derek catch Doyle, your doctorate that hangs above your couch stares back at you, like it was taunting you. You studied this, moving on was the better choice and you know it. No amount of killing Doyle would bring back Emily, no amount of it would make you feel better.

That is until Hotch gathers the team on the conference room.

“Everybody have a seat.” Hotch instructs. You all look at each other. Spencer looks at you as if asking if you knew what’s up but you only shake your head.

“Why?” Morgan asks, looking around.

“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize her—“

“What?” You squeak out. Hotch holds his hands up, asking you to hear him out first.

“She was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.”

Spencer can see how your face pales. He reaches for your hand under the table and gives it a tight squeeze. You return the squeeze, finding comfort in his touch.

“She’s alive?” Penelope asks, tears now forming in her eyes.

“But... we buried her.” Spencer says, like its a fact. Like its the solid truth. Your hand clamps down harder on his.

“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone had any issues, they should be directed to me.” Hotch says and all you can do is look at him, not able to believe anything he is saying.

“Any issues? Yeah, I got issues!” Derek’s loud voice now looming over the room.

“Oh my god.” Penelope squeaks making the whole room turn around. You turn around and you see Emily walking to the room. Your hold unto Spencer tightens, as if checking if he is real, you want any sign that this is not a dream, that this is real.

“I am so sorry. I really am. Not a day went by that I didn’t want to...” Emily explains.

Death comes and it takes, and it takes, and it takes but never has Death give someone back to you.

Emily was standing in front of you. The woman whose blood stained your hands for days, the woman you buried, the woman who’s grave you cried on for god knows how long that Derek had to physically carry you away from her grave and here she was breathing and hugging the team.

She comes in front of you and you still haven’t let go of Spencer’s hand.

“Y/N?” She says, it comes as a whisper. A whisper, coming from the ghost that has been haunting you for months. She opens her arms for a hug and you let go of Spencer to hug her.

She was real, she was solid and she’s hugging you back. So why, in the mountain of emotions you are feeling, why is happiness in the bottom of the pit? Why is anger the one screaming in your heart?

You pull away, and she hugs Spencer but as soon as she lets go, Spencer captures your hands again. Emily sees this and smiles, but doesn’t say anything.

“There’s so much I want to tell you guys, and I will. I promise. But right now I really need to know what’s going on with Declan.” The team continued to discuss Declan and Spencer holds unto your hand like its his life line. You only break apart when the team has to work again.

He gives you one look as he separates away from you, “I got you.” He says, kissing your temple before leaving to go to the interrogation room.

That was enough to calm you down.

-

The team gets Declan back safely and after all the trials, you finally had a moment to breathe.

“Hey, you doing good?” Spencer asks. You nod. He looks good, he looks like home in a purple shirt and sweater vest.

“Do you want to go home?” He asks you. You want to shout but you’re my home! You nod and he takes your scarf from your desk and wraps it around you.

“Let’s go?” You smile at him as he wraps it around you. It felt so domestic, so familiar.

You walk together to the elevator, leaving the BAU and all the piles of emotions that you’ve been through this past few days. As you both stand in the silver tin box, you see your reflection with him standing beside you, his arm around your waist and your head on his shoulder.

You wanted to scream how much you love him. But the voice in your head screams back, he doesn’t love you! It’s shared trauma! You shake your head and Spencer sees this.

“You okay? How are you feeling?” You smile up at him, as he looks at you with all the worries that a person can hold for another one.

“Yes, I am good, Spence. How about you?” He smiles and kisses the top of your head. “I am good. I just need time to process some of the things that has happened.”

Spencer drives you both home. Spencer doesn’t take the word hate lightly but Spencer hates driving. He still drives tho, for you. Holding your hand while he drives with the other, while you were staring out of the window, just watching the places blur by.

Death waits on your door and when the right time comes, it will knock. When it does, you can’t turn it away or send it away. When it knocks, it sweeps you off your feet, leaving no time for goodbyes or regrets. Ironically, Spencer walks you to your door, opening it for you and even taking your scarf off for you.

Your heart almost grows twice its size and you can feel yourself bursting in its seams. You find yourself closing the door, as if trying to block Death away from him. He smiles at you and something bursts inside of you.

“I love you, Spence.”

He drops your keys on the bowl on your hallway and he smiles, teasingly. “I love you, too, Dr. Y/L/N.” You smile but you shake your head.

“No Spence, I love you. With my whole heart... I mean, of what’s left of it. W-we need to stop, if this is only a shared trauma for you. I can’t be that... because... I love you and I want futures with you. Any kind of it, as long as you are there, every morning with a cup of hot coffee for me. If that’s not possible, we need to stop. Because my heart...” You hold unto the edge of the table for strength.

“My heart... is not strong enough to lose you and love you at the same time.” Spencer stares at you, confused with a certain spark in his eyes.

“W-why are you saying this now?”

“Because death is at everyone’s door. Emily is lucky. But what if it takes me tonight, or tomorrow? I don’t want to die without telling you that I love you.” You say, bracing yourself for the impact of the rejection.

Spencer walks to you, holding your waist to steady you.

“I love you, more than anything in this world. I have love you even before Emily died. This isn’t shared trauma, it’s been love way before that. If it's anything, it made my love for you grow deeper. You... helped me heal. You pushed me to go to therapy. You made me stronger, Y/N.” Spencer holds your face and brings you into his arms and you clung unto him as he hugs you.

“I love you... I love you so much.” You whisper to him and he hugs you as close as humanly possible.

Spencer lets go of you but cups your face to lift it closer to his face. Spencer kisses you like it was the last time you can ever kiss him. It felt like a fever dream you once had. The fire of the kiss fills in the cracks in your heart, slowly but surely healing it all at once.

Life, the direct opposite of death, has always been hard to describe. Death was easy to describe for you but Life? it was a struggle. But with Spencer kissing you, as he holds your hand and your face, so tenderly like you were going to break, you finally realize what life is supposed to be. It felt good being alive, it felt good to be breathing.

You and Spencer sleep together for the first time that night. It is in one word, unbelievable. It was as if the universe has planned it all along to teach you what it felt to be alive, as he pushes himself inside you, whispering nothing but sweet praises and promises of futures together in your ear. You wake up, hours after making love, tangled with him and the bed sheets, with you in his arms.

“I love you.” You whisper to him, brushing through his hair as he sighs to your touch, snuggling more to the crook of your neck.

-

The morning comes in a breathe. Easy and fast. You wake up earlier than Spencer, untangling yourself from him to make him his daily morning coffee.

A knock comes and it almost makes you drop his mug. Looking up at the clock, it was only 7 in the morning. The thought disappears as another knock comes. You open the door and today life offers you Emily Prentiss.

“Hey, good morning.” She says with a smile, you give it back, still not used to seeing her, alive.

“Hey.” You smile looking at her as you let her enter.

“Pen said you had my boxes.” She looks around on the apartment. “Its not here. Its on the garage downstairs. Do you want it right now?” She nods. “Oh. Uhm, the team actually helped me move it there, its a little heavy...”

“Okay... I’ll get the team to help me later.” You nod but don’t say anything and the silence is so loud, it’s deafening.

“Can we talk?” Emily asks, in a gentle voice. Almost like she’s talking to a toddler. You shake your head. “We can, but not today... I need to process some things first and I need help with it. We can talk this weekend, after my therapy.”

“Therapy?” She repeats. You nod. “Therapy.” She bites down her lips, you know Emily enough to know that she feels bad about it.

“I know it’s not your fault, Em. I understand, but I just... need time. I... buried you. I cried on your grave and for months, I had to accept the fact that you were... dead.” Emily nods, opens her arms for a hug and you gladly accept it.

“I’ll give you as much time as you need. You are my bestfriend and I love you.” You nod and hug her tightly, reminding yourself that she was alive, and that was what’s important.

The hug was cut short when Spencer comes out of your bedroom half naked.

“Spencer?!” Emily almost screams as she pulls away from the hug.

“O-oh... I-I didn’t know you were here...” He says as he slowly backs up the door and picks up a shirt to wear.

“When did this happened!?” Emily is definitely losing her mind now.

“Uh... Last night?” You said, not exactly sure as to when it started. Emily’s mouth drops in surprise and Spencer can only smile at her offering her a cup. “Coffee?” Spencer says with a smile and a shrug that makes both you and Emily laugh.

Emily doesn’t stay long after that, opting to leave the two of you to spend some time together. Spencer and you end up in the couch, huddled together in a huge blanket you both knitted together with cups of coffee in hands.

“So... Are you officially moving in with me?” Spencer looks down at you. The steam of the coffee colouring your cheeks a bright pink colour.

“Do you want me to?” He asks, smiling at you. Spencer loves you, in ways he didn’t know he possibly can and he’d give you anything you want. You could ask for the stars and Spencer would build a rocket just to get a few to give to you (even if he knows it was impossible because, well, stars are made of gas.)

“I want you everywhere. You... are my home.” You say softly, as your hands caress his cheeks.

“Then, I am moving here, love.” He says as he kisses your forehead and you lean unto him as you wrap the blanket tighter around each other.

“I love you.” He says as you lay your head on his chest and he brings you closer to him. You smile and whisper it back. “I love you more.”

Most people say that time heals pain. It, truthfully, does not. Love does, love in the corniest way possible, mends your soul in ways that are not physically possible.

When Death knocks on your door it will be in different shapes and forms, but so will love and for you, love came in the shape and form of Spencer Reid.

-

[ennergetics]

FILLED REQUEST: friends with benefits! au with the resident slate-clapper, ong seongwu

(image credit)

pairing: ong seongwu x reader genre: fluff, smut summary:  Ong Seongwu’s not looking for anything serious. right? warnings: nsfw smut !! tho rly it’s got a lot of fluff bc who am i kidding (spiritual successor to this fic!! i imagine them taking place in the same verse, hehe. apologies for taking so long to post this, and i hope you like it!)

seongwu doesn’t know how he ended up in a sound room making out with his work best friend  

but???? he’s not going to protest because having your tongue stroking his tongue is an A+ way to spend a saturday night 

he’d ducked out of the party that fantagio threw in his honour bc he didn’t want to rewatch his snl appearance with everyone in the room  

and he’s on his way to the studio when you pull him into a sound room  

“you looked like you needed a break, seongwu”  

and you’re both standing there, watching each other silently, when you start coming closer  

and seongwu likes you well enough—if things were different, maybe he’d have asked you out—but he’s thinking about how busy promotions are going to be and he doesn’t want to fuck up what he has with you 

and awkwardly he blurts out, right when your hips are against his 

“i don’t think i’m ready to be in a relationship” 

he looks away but his cheeks are pink because he knows he’s half-hard against your thigh 

you laugh once, your breath hot against his neck 

“that makes two of us,” you say, “though i think we’re both looking for a little…fun" 

and you look up at him with wide, innocent eyes as you untuck his shirt and trace lazy patterns on his abdomen 

and seongwu’s hand goes to the small of your back, unwittingly touching the cut-out at the back of your dress 

“what do you say?”  

and it’s not as if seongwu has any choice, not when you’re like this  

so he pulls you to him if only to stop your teasing  

and maybe he doesn’t get to fuck you then because you two have been gone for far too long 

but you two fall into a rhythm that’s perfect for his hectic schedule  

and he expected things to be a lot more mysterious and covert 

but you really did??? mean fun  

and it’s nice because you’re friends but also he can go down on you when he wants like 

he’s waggling his eyebrows at you after being handsy the whole movie, his hand tracing at the hem of your shorts 

“i’m hungry”  

“go brush your teeth first, rome-ong” 

and he tries not to think about the domesticity of it all 

of having a toothbrush at your place and regularly watching Sunday morning movies with you 

but it’s all worth it to have his mouth on your clit and his index finger in you, as you make the sounds he loves so much  

your leg is on his shoulder, your duck-print cotton panties dangling off your ankle 

and this shouldn’t be so hot, but it is 

especially when you move your other leg so your foot is putting light pressure on his dick 

and you’re noisy the whole time but you come with a sigh 

you pull him up to lick your juices off his face and cuddle on his couch  

“let me take care of this?”  

and you slip your hand into the front of his boxers and he swears he lasts for two seconds and sees stars when you make him come 

it’s just as well because the next time you see each other is two concerts later  

and seongwu’s bursting with adrenaline and energy, still high off the applause  

he takes first dibs of the shower and pulls on a tracksuit right after 

sneaking out of the dorm has become second nature to him at this point 

he gets to your place in record time, and when you answer the door your hair’s still wet 

“you were great on stage toni—“ 

but he doesn’t let you finish, pushing you into the room and crowding you up against your door 

he’s breathing heavily like he’s run a marathon, nosing along your jaw 

“seongwu, you’ve still got glitter around your eyes”  

and you laugh, but soon you gasp because he's biting at your neck 

he yanks your hand to the front of his pants and he’s already hard 

you try to pull him closer but he just wraps his hands around your wrists and kisses you like it’s a fight 

somehow you get to your bed but he’s stripped all your clothes off and  

he pulls his pants down just enough to free himself  

you lick your lips at the sight of his cock but he’s not after any of that tonight 

his hand is around your wrists again and he bumps your arms against the headboard 

you moan a little in pain but you tell him to keep going because you don’t know if you’ve ever been more turned on in your life 

he takes the bottle of lube from your night stand because even caught up by passion, seongwu cares enough to make sure it doesn’t hurt  

the three fingers he shoves in you are a little tight but feel so good 

(understandably you’re distracted as you roll the condom onto him) 

but nothing compares to having him in you, your legs dangling off the foot of your bed 

he pulls one of your ankles onto his shoulders and thrusts, the head of his cock rubbing against your g-spot 

you come and seongwu soon follows, pulling you into his arms 

your wrists are red from where he gripped you, and he kisses them with a worried expression  

you catch your breath for a second but snuggle into him  

"that was something else"  

and when you get up to use the bathroom, seongwu can't stop???? smiling???? 

y'all fall asleep but seongwu wakes up with an alarm you set on your phone, which is on his side of the bed 

and there's a note reminding him to return to his dorm  

but also to take an orange from the fridge and coffee from the cabinets if he'd like  

and seongwu just  

well he feels like you're becoming more to him, somehow, and he doesn't know what to think anymore 

so he avoids you for a couple of weeks 

telling himself it’s just because of the heavy promotions 

but he’s a little more lacklustre in responding to your provocative messages 

and he notices you sending them less?? and less?????  

but you still text him regularly to ask how he’s doing 

and seongwu remembers that you’re still friends before it all 

so the next time he has to sign for a commercial film, he brings the papers to the office himself 

and you’re more or less the only one there because he goes there really early???  

he knows you’re the type to come to work early so  

seongwu’s brought you a snack pack of your favourite chocolate cereal 

and you immediately perk up as soon as you see it  

he’s telling you the story of his trip to the US and how much food he and the boys got to sneakily eat 

and you’re laughing and he’s smiling and  

when you finish processing his papers he can’t ??? help it  

he pulls you into your favourite sound room where everything started 

and you’re making out languidly, sweet little kisses and gentle touches 

and he pulls back with a smile but he sees a troubled look on your face for a second 

“it’s been nice” 

seongwu notes the past tense and he panics a lil 

“i’m…i’m not sure i can keep going with this, seongwu” 

and he knows it’s because you want more and honestly? 

he wants it too 

he wants you to send him dumb selfies in the morning when you’re alone at the office 

he wants you to screen his jokes and gags and funny faces because he can’t bear being called unfunny and he knows you’ll be honest 

he wants you to greet him on the rare sunday morning he can escape from the dorm, with a hug and a kiss and something more 

and fuck, it’s something worth??? fighting for, he thinks 

something that can work out, if you’re both willing to put in some effort 

and so seongwu scratches lightly at his constellation of moles and says 

“i take back what i said about relationships”  

and you look up at him, your eyes big and bright 

“i meant what i said before. i like you…and i’m willing to try”  

and he smiles and you smile and  

you hug him tight and you’re making out again 

and he’s once again in a sound room making out with his work best friend and maybe??? lover??? and everything is a lot better than it had been 

definitely an A++ way to spend a thursday morning