#THIS IS GORGE TESS

[cravingstudyvalidation]

I wish you could love again

again~~

I LOVE IT SO MUCH😭😭💓💓

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.7 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter. 6 Chapter 8.

Silk

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, Reader has an emotional breakdown, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI

 While Rex and a few others scouted ahead, You took a desperate shot in the dark.

“General Krell,” you had the comm close to your lips, “We need the medical speeder. There's several wounded that need to get out of here.”

You were met with silence.

“Sergeant Appo, if it's you i'm talking to, get me General Krell before I shove my laser scalpel up your-”

“That will be unneeded, Doctor.” the General’s voice came through on the other end, “The wounded will be extracted when the airbase has been taken.” 

“Sir, some of the wounded can’t wait that long. They need to get to a safer location so I can-.” You were practically begging the Jedi at this point.

“I have the utmost faith that you’ll be able to save them from where you are.” He responded, but even on this end, you could practically hear the uninterested look on his face. You were about to respond but the comm cut. Krell was done with you.

You looked around you, taking in the injured. Three of them needed surgery. Two needed bacta tanks ASAP. Five were entirely unconscious from blood loss and missing limbs.

And one, Fisher, was leaning against a broken and destroyed AT-RT. His chest had been completely eviscerated, exposing broken ribs and damaged organs. You couldn’t do anything, you didn’t have the bacta or supplies to save him. Yet, it would take hours for him to die. 

So you held his hand in yours and gave him as many painkillers as it took to stop his heart. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Jumper. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. 

“Doc?” Nax had remained close, guarding you while Rex and the others went ahead, “Are you ok?” 

“No, Nax.” You admitted, “I’m not.” 

This wasn’t the first time you’ve had to mercy kill. But you hated yourself every time you did it.

He remained silent as he stepped towards you and offered a hand. He was sweet. Very polite. So you took it and stood, “Thank you.” 

The trooper looked like he was about to speak when the ground rumbled. Terror filled your blood. Were there more of those worm tanks!? The air crackled and burned with fire and explosives. They sounded different from the centipede tanks the men shot down earlier…new weapons? You desperately hoped not.

Several soldiers dove over your cover, breathing heavily. Very quickly others joined, remaining hidden. You didn’t want to risk your head to get a look at what was happening. So you knelt, looking at Jesse, who had made it before Rex or the others. He met your confused and worried gaze before answering, “Heavy tanks.”

Rex, followed by Kix and Fives, got to your position. the captain had his comm on, speaking hurriedly, “Sir, we’re overpowered. we need reinforcements!”

“The rest of the battalion is holding the entrance of the gorge, captain.” Krell was on the other end, sounding about as calm and uninterested as when you called, “They're guarding it so your troops can break through to the air base.”

Jesse jerked his head up, sharing a look with Hardcase. Seemed everyone expected such a cold response, but it was still despair-inducing to hear.

A shot exploded directly on the other side of your cover. The heavy tanks were attempting to break through the trees and roots that protected everyone. Another shot hit right above you, raining scorched plant matter down.

You dove towards an unconscious, bleeding trooper and held him close, using your body to protect him from the debris. Once everything passed, you got to work stabilizing him. 

Rex continued to argue with the General, “But sir, we can’t possibly-!”

“You must stand your ground!” Pong fucking Krell shouted from his comm, “Do you read me!? Captain, are you listening? Do not fall back! That's an order!” 

Your lover was unmoving. He was paralyzed in horror that Krell would still push this suicide mission. After a few heartbeats, he shook his head. 

Two voices cried out from the otherside of the cover. You and Kix shared a look before scrambling over to grab them and drag them with the others. Your hands were on one trooper and getting his wounds under control while Kix was dealing with the other.

“Keep the wounded as quiet as possible.” The clone captain nodded to you before addressing everyone else, “Alright, you heard the general. Let's go.”

Jesse whirled around from where he kept an eye on the battlefield, “You can't be serious!”

“I used to think the General was reckless,” Fives spat, “But now I'm beginning to think he just hates clones.”

Dogma stepped forward, clear on which side he stood, “The captain is right. Now let's move out!”

The trooper, Trident, under your hands spasmed. He seized, and you did your best to get him on his side and let the seizure pass, “With who!?” you snapped, cracking under the stress, “Everyone is injured and exhausted or dead!” Trident stilled in your arms, and once you felt his neck, there was no pulse. 

The traumatic brain injury he sustained was too much for him. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Trident.

“Isn’t it your job to patch everyone up!?” He retorted, “With all the dead, you certainly are doing a great job!” 

Your eyes widened and Hardcase shot forward, immediately punching Dogma, sending him to the ground. “Shut the fuck up!” he shouted down at the trooper, “You’d be among the dead without Kix and-!”

“Hardcase! Enough!” Rex stepped between them, keeping his gaze level with the heavy gunner, “Fighting each other isn’t going to help.” Despite his words, he cast a glance at you.

Your eyes met him in his helmet. He was checking on you, in his own way. So you nodded, indicating that Dogma’s words didn’t affect you. You’ve been blamed before. Troopers that were grief stricken would lash out at you, blame you for your failings to save their brothers. Though, later, they’d come to you and apologize. You expected Dogma wouldn’t.

Still, you appreciated how Tup knelt to put a hand on your shoulder. Dogma didn’t look at you as he got up.

“What will help is finding another way to deal with the tanks!” Fives got into Rex’s face, clearly angry. Judging by the way his hands clenched into fists, he was ready to start getting physical too, “We can’t take them head-on.”

The captain remained steadfast, “You got any ideas?”

The ARC trooper looked down and shook his head, keeping silent.

“Then this is it.” Rex looked over at the men who remained standing, and turned to get out into the field. 

Hardcase huffed, adjusting the rocket launcher in his grip, “Ok, let's do it!” He, along with Jesse, Tup and Fives sprinted out. Kix was about to follow before he stopped and looked back. 

“Go. Send anyone hurt to me.” you nodded, remaining with the injured. He gave a salute before rushing to follow his brothers. 

Since the squad of soldiers had run out, all attention from the tank shifted to them. No longer were the trees that protected you threatening to fall or collapse from the shots. You looked over your cover, spotting the second tank that was shooting the trees across the field. Its focus was on the men who were fleeing into the foliage to hide. 

A trooper high in the branches fired a rocket. The explosive didn’t do much other than cause the massive tank to stumble. Once it corrected itself, it blasted the poor clone with its cannon.

You waited for the Umbaran to turn its focus away from that side before moving in. Your feet were quick, diving behind downed AT-RT’s, boulders and whatever other cover you could hide behind. 

Once you made it to him, you realized the trip was worthless. He was dead. Half of his body was gone the moment he was hit with cannon fire. 

But he wasn’t alone. Someone else was down, crying and writhing in pain.

Arm missing. Main problem is blood loss. Still awake. I have time. I can save him.

You got to your knees quickly, skidding on the wet ground as you did so. Your pack was off your shoulders as you began to get as many gauze pads and bandages on him as possible. Your hands were stained with his blood as you controlled the bleeding. 

“Come on,” you draped his good arm over your shoulder and stood, “I’m getting you with the others.”

You watched the tank again, waiting patiently before dashing to another point of cover. Getting back to the injured was slower this time, but you managed to get there. Leaning the trooper against a tree root, you commed Krell again, “General, I need the supplies on that speeder!” 

There was only silence. 

“General Krell!” You were desperate, and your voice was shaking from the fear. Fear for the men. Fear they wouldn’t even get a chance to survive, “General Krell, please!” 

Nothing. Unanswered. 

Your hands were shaking and you let out a frustrated, angry cry. The names of the dead replayed in your head over and over again.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Trident.

No. You still had supplies on you. You weren’t giving up. You refused. 

A trooper stumbled over the cover, carrying an ARF trooper. You recognized Silk and Hinge.

“Doc, he needs help.” The trooper slid the injured carefully down. 

Before you even inspected him, you could tell Hinge was barely hanging on, if he was even alive. His armor was blacked and scorched. Smoke still billowed from his body. When you approached, you felt his neck. 

Nothing.

“I’m sorry, Silk.” you murmured, taking off Hinge’s helmet. Carefully, you closed his eyes before standing. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Jumper. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge.

“...we’re all dead, aren't we?” Silk sat down, leaning against the tree. 

You hesitated to answer. Truthfully, you thought so. You wanted to agree. To accept the truth that Krell won and lead all of you to your deaths.

But…Rex would keep fighting. Your kar’ta wouldn’t go down without taking as many separatists as possible down with him. 

You looked at your hand, testing if you could close it in the brace, luckily, you could. You could feel the movement. Feel your fingers on your palm. Your arm, despite the immense damage, was healing. Your nerves were connecting. Your veins and arteries were directing blood flow again. Your body refused to give up.

You could still fight. Just like Rex would.

“No.” your voice was resolute, “I’m not giving up.” You looked over the injured. More had managed to find your location in various states of bleeding, dying or crying, “I’m not giving up on any of you. Even if I have to pick up your rifles to protect you, I’m not giving up.”

Silk sighed and stood, “Doctor,” he saluted, “I am at your command.” 

You couldn’t help but smile softly, “I’ll need your help. Stay within cover, prioritize your safety, but look for any injured. Bring them to me.”

“I’ll help.” Hem, another ARF trooper stood, rotating his arm to stretch his shoulder, “I’m not too hurt.”

“Thank you both.” you saluted as they climbed out of the safety of the trees and roots. The ground shook with another cannon shot nearby. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be out of view. Or the Umbarans weren’t interested in killing those who couldn’t fight back. 

Still, since those heavy tanks weren’t focused on you, it allowed you to continue your job. These soldiers were your patients. They needed you. They needed your skills. And with whatever supplies you had left, you’d try to save them.

So you got to work. Triage. Deal with the more serious injuries. Prioritize. 

Your training took over. You were on autopilot weaving between the troopers. Your supplies dwindled. You ran out of painkillers and bacta entirely. Your tourniquets were the lifesavers at this point. Using them allowed you to spread your bandages and gauze pads between everyone.

Despite your effects, you still lost a few.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno.

At some point Tup had made his way back to you, followed by Hem, carrying Zeke. Silk wasn’t accounted for, but you trusted he would be alright. 

“Doctor,” Tup got to your side, “How can i-?”

Wordlessly, you handed him bandage scissors. He looked confused, even as you removed the minimal armor plating on your sleeve. As a field doctor, armor wasn’t the priority, medical supplies were. You had some plates on your wrists, thighs and chest, but that was about it. Everything else was covered in protective clothing to allow more medical packs and more freedom of movement. 

Which came in handy, “Cut the sleeve up to my shoulder, and then cut it into long strips.” you commanded Tup. 

“Ok…don’t move. I don't want to accidentally nick you.” The poor clone sounded unsure, shy even, but did as you asked. Despite his shaky hands, he kept the shears steady enough to prevent any small injuries to your skin. Once the cloth was separated, you slipped your arm from the sleeve and returned your focus to the other troopers.

Tup was an efficient assistant. Not even a minute later he had the sleeve cut into lengthy straight strips. You grabbed them silently and used them as extra bandages. 

The ground rumbled and shook. One of the tanks was getting close. Too close. You looked up, taking a chance to peer out into the battlefield.

Three heavy tanks were damn near on top of you as they chased those on the field. Through their shining spotlights, you recognized the silhouette of Rex and Jesse running across the field. Rex had a rocket launcher, and with a broken heart, you realized Hardcase must’ve gone down. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Hardcase…

Hardcase.

“Doc!” You jerked your head up, Silk had returned with another trooper slung over his arm. Once he put the unconscious soldier down, he went back out into the field before you could stop him. 

Kix had found you. He was standing on top of a thick root, back to the tanks, looking over the injured you've collected. Something in him snapped because he shook his head before letting out a cry. Your medic friend began to fire his rifle in the air wildly. 

Tup shot up, “Hey, Kix, put it down! You're wasting aim!” When words didn’t work, he body slammed Kix down to the ground, saving him from the massive foot of a tank.

The Umbaran weapon turned its cannon to where Tup and Kix hit the ground. Before it could annihilate the two, it was hit by a rocket. The explosion caused it to stumble, and its powered up shot hit the branches above your triage area. 

Rex had gotten to your position, standing on a toppled tree that was part of your cover. In his arms was a smoking rocket launcher. Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but think of how handsome he looked. Smoke and ash billowing around him. Back straight, standing tall and determined. You could picture his focused gaze under his helmet now. 

The tank readjusted, stabilizing its huge legs. It focused on the captain and was then joined by the two others. They all charged their shots, ready to destroy Rex completely. You ran towards him, intending to grab his hand and…do something! Save him!

Die with him.

Just as your fingers met his, shots rained down from the dark sky. Two Umbaran starships were shooting wildly. Their guns poured out bright green bolts like water, hitting everything they pointed at. 

You looked up and inside the glowing, round cockpit of the Umbaran ships were Fives and Hardcase! They were laughing, trying to navigate the never-before-seen tech.

They were alive!

“Clear out, captain!”

“The big guns have arrived, sir!”

The 501st captain wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest as the tanks exploded. He leapt from the position on the tree and held you close. 

Their rayshields weren’t made for their own shots it seemed. They buckled and broke, breaking down and exploding from their own weaponry. That didn’t stop them from trying to shoot at the clone controlled air support. Thankfully, Fives and Hardcase were doing a good enough job flying; they managed to avoid getting shot down.

Fives and Hardcase skillfully cleared the field. They managed to keep control well enough to finally destroy the heavy tanks that have taken so many good men. As the burst and exploded, killing the Umbarans inside, there were cheers and celebrations.

“Woo-hoo!”

“Attaboy, Hardcase!” 

“Way to go Fives!”

Once Rex stood to cheer with his brothers, you dashed to Kix. The medic had calmed down and was tending to the injured, “I’m entirely out of bacta and gauze.” He looked up at you, “and I can see you’re out of bandages.” 

You nodded, snapping your focus back on the injured troopers. The fight had been brutal. Even those that had managed to get to you alive, were fading fast. For every soldier you saved, it was like two more perished from their wounds. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

You repeated their names. Over and over again in your head. As the quiet took over, Kix helped you with the hurt and dying that crawled their way to your position. You didn’t look up, even as reinforcements ran passed to take that fucking airbase.

“Doc, we need help!” Was the only statement that caused you to bring your eyes up. 

Silk managed to stumble from the smoke. His right arm had been ripped off and his chestplate was shattered. His left hand was placed over his stomach, keeping his innards inside his abdomen. 

“Kix!” You practically howled, bolting from where you were tending to Jesse’s gashed wrist. 

You sent Silk out there! You were the one who asked him to risk his life for others! 

Your hands were on him, getting him to the ground, “I got you, Silk. I got you.” You breathed, ripping off the pieces of his armor. Kix was next to you, scrambling to get the situation under control.

Tup had managed to get a hold of the medical speeder. Krell must’ve finally brought it into the gorge when reinforcements were sent in. Ken and Rin were still on the stretcher, but you didn’t pay them any mind as you threw open crates and bags, scrambling to get supplies. 

Bandages. Bacta. Gauze. Sutures.

Supply levels were low. There wasn’t enough for everyone. But you grabbed everything you could and darted back to Silk.

He was still down, but Kix had stopped trying to treat him. The medic removed his helmet and looked at you, sorrow and despair evident. 

“No!” You dropped what was in your hands and immediately straddled Silk. Your hands were on his chest as you began compressions. The cartilage of his ribs cracked and broke as you began CPR. You were in a frenzy to bring him back, throwing his helmet away to pinch his nose and breathe for him.

Something in you broke. The situation finally hit you and your mind shattered. You sent Silk out to find his brothers. Silk returned injured. Dying. It was your fault. You got Silk killed. 

Dogma was right. You had failed so many of these troopers. They relied on you to keep them alive, and you failed in your duty.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Tears blurred your vision but you weren’t going to stop. Kix said your name, but you ignored him. He grabbed your shoulder, but you shoved him off, “How long!?” you demanded before getting your lips on Silk’s to force air into his lungs. 

“4 minutes,” Kix informed you, “He’s been down for 4 minutes. It’s time to stop.”

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

“No it isn’t!” you snapped. Kix looked up at someone who approached. Another injured soldier? He could deal with it. You had to save Silk.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

5 minutes now of compressions. 5 minutes of forcing oxygen into Silk’s lungs. 5 minutes of forcing his heart to beat. Yet it couldn’t function on its own. There was too much damage.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Someone grabbed you and you howled as if burned. Your compressions stopped to thrash and fight. You weren’t giving up. Not on Silk. Too many have been lost. You couldn’t handle losing one more. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Whoever was holding you had fallen backwards, getting both of you to the ground. They called your name, but you refused to listen. You clawed at their armored wrist, trying to get their hold off of you.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

“I’m not giving up!” Tears were running down your cheeks. You’d finally broken. Under the loss. Under the death and destruction of the soldiers you failed to save. You kicked your legs and tried to get out of the arms that had wrapped around your torso. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia. Silk. 

Silk.

Silk.

Silk.

“I know.” Their words, Rex’s, finally reached you. He was hugging you from behind so tightly, “I know, Mesh’la. I know.” His helmet was off and he whispered softly into your ear.

Your breath shook as you let out a wretched sob. You’ve lost soldiers before. They’ve died under your care. But never this many. 

Too many. There were too many! 

You wept, leaning into Rex’s chest, “I’m sorry…” you cried out, “I can’t save them. I can’t…I’m sorry Rex…Please…forgive me!” Your begging and pleading devolved into more sobbing. You’ve failed him. You’ve failed the man you loved and all of his brothers.

Rex remained silent, continuing to hold you.

[bullet-prooflove]

Okay, it inspired an ask. Jack Dayton speaking French to fluster/arouse his lover.

Tagging: @soultrysworld @kmc1989 @livingonthehems @tess-love @mandy426

Madness of a Genius - Jack notices you're the only one not paying attention during a donor event.

The First Time (NSFW) - Jack reveals his secret during your first time together.

Fucked Up - You and Jack each have your own special brand of fucked up.

The Professor (NSFW) - Jack and you share an intimate moment in your office.

Different (NSFW) - You and Jack are a little different from normal people.

Every Morning - Jack's mornings have changed for the better.

Cartier - Jack tries to build some healthier habits to vent his stress.

Pictures of You (NSFW) - Jack carries a certain picture of you when he goes abroad.

Bali - A vacation in Bali leads Jack to make some life changes.

You’re an ice queen, that’s how Jack hears you described during donor events.

Untouchable, infallible, cold.

That’s how your male peers perceive you because you haven’t let a single one of them between your legs. You’re dedicated to your work, dynamic, brilliant but all they see is the armour you erect, the walls you put between them and yourself.

It’s during these events that Jack begins to understand your own brand of self-flagellation. He used to cut himself to feel something and you used erotic asphyxiation. You hadn’t done it for almost six months before you met him.

“Why did you stop?” Jack had asked you when the two of you were tangled up in bed together, his thumb tracing over the fading finger marks he’d left on your throat, the ones that you had asked for.

“I almost killed myself.” You tell him frankly as you prop your head up on his pillow. “Usually when you start to pass out, you bite down on the citrus and the shock of it revives you, you stop yourself from choking.”

“That didn’t happen?” Jack asks, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown.

“I guess my blood orange wasn’t tart enough.” You say as your fingertips trace over the scarring that mars his chest. “The scarf I was using frayed, I woke up face down in my mattress with a voice that sounded like I smoked a hundred a day. It scared the shit out of me. I wore turtle necks until the bruising faded and pretended I had laryngitis. Tonight was the first time…”

You’d trailed off then, your cheeks flushing because the truth is despite the fact you’ve been able to abstain for so long, it’s something you still crave, deeply.

“Because you trust me.” Jack summarises as his lips brush over yours.

“With my life.” You tell him with a sincerity he feels in the very depths of his bones because that’s what you’re doing everytime you ask him to choke you, you’re literally putting your life in his hands.

When he lays eyes on you tonight from across the room, he can already tell how badly you need it. Your expression is one of feigned interest towards the man talking at you but he can see the tension coiled in your body. 

It’s half an hour later that you end up at the bar together, to anyone else it would look random but Jack has choreographed this moment perfectly.

“J'ai hâte de te ramener à la maison, je veux ma main sur ta gorge, ta chatte serrée autour de ma bite.” He says in French as you wait for the bartender to return with your drink. You are the only two people in this room who speak the language fluently and Jack uses this to his full advantage.

I can't wait to get you home. I want my hand on your throat, your pussy clenching around my cock.

Your eyes flicker up to meet his as a flush creeps across your cheeks and Jack wishes that the two of you could just bail right now, that he could take you home, give you everything that you need.

“Tu n'as aucune idée à quel point je veux ça en ce moment, tu me fais mouiller en y pensant.” You return, inclining your head towards the bartender as he sets the drink down in front of you.

You have no idea how much I want that right now, you're getting me wet thinking about it.

“Je vais prendre soin de toi ce soir ma chérie, je vais te donner tout ce que tu désires.” Jack responds, his fingertips brushing over yours under the guise of handing you a napkin.

I'm going to take care of you tonight my darling, I'm going to give you everything that you desire.

“Is that a promise?” You ask him, slipping into English and Jack he give you that look, the one that burns with such desire and intensity that it sends a surge of heat coursing through your body.

“Amélie…” He whispers, checking the time on his watch. “In thirty minutes I’m going to have you in my bed screaming my name. Go make your excuses, we’re done here tonight.”

Love Jack? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

The Last of Us HBO - Episode 2 thoughts

Warning: Pure yapping ahead! More thoughts and things I've noticed watching the show, it's not serious and I don't invite arguments (fellow yappers are more than welcome though)

(continuing with my episode by episode analysis of the tlou show, it's a long one folks! all chronologically written as i was watching the episode. spoilers under the cut)

Fantastic opening - love that we get to see the initial discovery in Jakarta and that they speak Indonesian only! It removes the show from a purely American pov and makes it international, which is something I personally missed a little from the game so it's a welcome addition

The little detail that the military men walk so fast, she has to jog a little to keep up

I like the fact that they didn't even try to cover the dead body at all - why would they?

Same girl I'd have that exact same reaction too 💀💀 visceral as shit

The following visual of the cordyceps reaching out of the corpse's mouth.... Eugh

Ibu Ratna's reaction after hearing 14 workers are missing - her shaking so badly she has to put her cup of tea down, her face reads of pure undiluted horror 🙌👌 - worth mentioning that the casting of Christine Hakim is absolutely top tier (she's basically the Dame Judi Dench of Indonesia fr) and she really brings a gravitas to the role

I find it fascinating and refreshing that the first thing the military man does is to ask about a vaccine or medicine to fix this situation, but the scientist/professor, instead says with absolutely certainty that there is nothing, and then proceeds to say with an eerily calm and assertive tone and face that they must bomb the city. Terrifying yet wonderful that they've finally used a different format to this conversation

Ibu Ratna stifling her sobs and asking to go be with her family, because she knows there is no other solution - Brava

That soft, gentle opening shot of Ellie curled up in the sun on a lush bed of green, a single butterfly crossing over *chef's kiss*

Her turning to see Joel and Tess, sat in the shadows on chairs, Joel with his gun drawn lmaooooo that's comedy right there

Ellie's sass at the interrogation 🤌

"There's not gonna be anything bad in here?" "Just you." "Oh, funny." 💀😂

The fact that Joel broke his hand beating that guy to death - the way Tess looks at Joel, all knowing and vaguely soft

Tess defending Ellie indirectly by wanting to continue with bringing her to the state house - Joel wanting to return to the QZ and saying it would be better for FEDRA do shoot her than them 💀

"You need to stop talking about this kid like she's got some kind of life in front of her." Damn Joel, Tess' face says it all

Joel: struggling to break of a piece of EXTREMELY dry and chewy jerky, Ellie: sammich

Ellie in the warm light, Joel in the cold dark, and Tess in the middle of the two?? Gorg

It's so funny how terribly Joel and Ellie get on at this point, like, they basically hate each other my god

"If she so much as twitches.." *Ellie immediately starts twitching* and then Tess's "Don't." She is so done with these two already lmao

The iconic scenery 🙌 the two massive skyscrapers with one leaning on the other? Oooohhh yeah

The fact that Tess stops and answers Ellie's questions :')

I can't stop looking at Ellie's bag it's just so accurate I love it

"Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister." SLAY girls support girls ✨

The specific way Ellie says "no" at the boyfriend question 💅

It's interesting that Tess' reaction to hearing the description of what we know to be a bloater, is "shit, I hope not", insinuating perhaps that she and Joel haven't dealt with those before, but then the way that she looks at Joel after Ellie asks about clickers tells me they know exactly what she's talking about with that one

Immediately after we hear a loud ass creepy scream in the distance, okay!

The set designers got this shit so extremely right goddamn, the hotel gotta be one of my favourite locations fr - I love that they still included this location even if it's at a completely different place in the original story, it works so well here and with Tess added on, the humour is great and the way the characters interact is fun and interesting (Joel's little hop into the water especially gets me, he's such a shit lmao)

Ellie is genuinely so fucking funny I love this kid

Joel offering his hand, immediately snatching it back once she's mostly up cause it's his broken one (but you can see it's more than that)

"Fuck, holy shit." "Come on, it wasn't that bad." "You try climbing ten fuckin floors with our knees. See how you feel." 😭😭

Joel's face at being left alone with Ellie lmao

"Nice knife." great conversation starter Joel, but also, reference to his pocket knife Sarah held in the previous episode? He doesn't have it, when did he have time to grab it after all, but yeah. Maybe I'm overthinking this lmao

"Where'd you learn to do that?" "The circus." *Joel rolls his eyes with such exasperation taht I can feel it through my screen*

"How long do infected live?" "Oh, I thought you went to school." "It's a really shitty one."

Joel avoiding answering the question about the FEDRA dude he killed due to Tess returning is peak writing

I really enjoy how the infected are portrayed in the show - they're not just individuals, they're part of a hive mind in a way, the mycelium connects them all one way or another, and they act like it (the way they all react to sunlight and extra so because they all react to each others pain as well, wow)

Added onto that, this extra lore about the way the cordyceps works is fantastic, it makes it even scarier that, according to Tess, you can accidentally wake up and attract infected from somewhere totally different - this means you're never actually safe 💀

Really love how Tess is so damn nice to Ellie all things considered. Still answering her questions, telling her she has to be careful, that just because she's immune doesn't mean there's no danger

"I have a spare hand." "Congratulations." 😭

I do love how quick Joel is to run over to Ellie whenever something happens (her swearing, falling over, gasping loudly)

The look that Joel and Tess share - they think they know and they're probably right

Dad mode™ activated

That building is anxiety central for me

Joel is so jumpy and twitchy it's a little funny tbh, I like it

Ellie's "oh shit whoops" face

Joel helping Ellie up :')

The sound effects 😭💀😭 they got the same team that did the game clicker sounds to do the show ones and I can TELL

The anxiety is palpable!! My stomach is in knots!! The entrance of the first clicker is terrifying!!

Joel's silent, almost sign language like, explanation for Ellie 😌

The clicker actors are fucking amazing jesus christ. And the special effects and makeup? So GOOD wow absolutely grotesque <3

Not me gasping with Ellie

If I were there I'd probably just hide under a table and hold my breathe 😭

I find the clickers to be quite bird-like, in game and in show

The silence as Joel reloads his gun, the sudden much closer clicking, the flashlight shining directly in its face 🤌

Joel now being the one to step on something crunchy 😩 THE WAY THE CLICKER LAUNCHES ITSELF AT HIM AND ELLIE ACROSS THE DISPLAY

Ellie crying out with pure fear and Joel holding the clicker back more so it's on him not her - HIM PUSHING HER BEHIND HIM!

BIG TESS SLAY

Impressed by how calm their reactions all are to seeing Ellie get bit (?) again (I thought it was more of a scratch at first but I assume it to be a bite due to their reactions to it)

"That was scary, this is wood." HA

The way Tess looks at Joel when he's busy wrapping her foot with diligence and care

I think this is the first sign that Tess had been bit, Joel seems to be looking at her like "what the hell is your problem" but listens and goes to watch Ellie anyway

The view line 😭🤌 love how we basically get this exactly from the game, including Joel looking at his watch :'(

The music 🙌

Second time you can really notice that Tess is differently - she handles Ellie harshly for basically the first time ever and totally ignores Joel

Joel moving Ellie away from the dead body

The squelching of the blood EUgH

Go makeup team go!

Oeiii screaming match :( mom and dad are fighting

The step back speaks volumes

"Oops, right?" just stab me it would hurt less, Anna's delivery of that line is heartbreaking

In fact little quick note of love to Anna Torv, she's such a fucking amazing actor and I love her portrayal of Tess so so much, she brought warmth, strength and balls of steel to the character fr!!

The fact that Tess basically confesses her feelings here, proclaims the knowledge that she feels something for Joel that he was never entirely able to reciprocate back, my god - her BEGGING him to take her because she knows nothing about the future but she believes that Ellie can change it in some capacity

Pedro's eye acting here is so potent, he says nothing but his eyes and face say it all

The mycelium!!!!!! Terrifying that in show canon, infected can basically call for backup!!! Brilliant addition and makes them so much more intimidating (also I HATED seeing the mycelium creep under that infected person's nails that really got a shudder out of me)

God bless the extras

Tess my beloved you make me cry so much you're amazing and you deserved better 😭 she's brave as fuck for this

Joel shaking, his lips quivering because fuck, she's going to die, and now he has to be fully responsible of this kid and he can't do this without her but he's gotta - the anxiety and fear in his eyes, his firm resolution after she says "save who you can save", the way he SNATCHES Ellie and walks away, Ellie fighting him tooth and nail but he knew she would, thats why he grabbed her like that.... I'm honestly just in so much awe and pain from this scene

The fear is Tess' face is so 😭😭

FUCK NO THAT ALMOST MADE ME THROW UP I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT JESUS FUCK. That was disgusting what the fuck 😭😭 don't know how to feel about watching the fucked up kiss of death like, eugh

The feeling when after failing to light the damn thing, she finally gets it, feels almost like a relief after all of that

Joel "big sad brown eyes" and Ellie "big traumatised brown eyes" will be the death of me

This is such a fucking sad ending to Tess' character but also, satisfying since she didn't die in vain

That final shot of Ellie alone with the burning state house in the background, sun beating down and a soft breeze in her hair, damn

If you make it to the end, thanks for reading! It's literally just my running thought process whilst watching!! Do you agree with some of my notes, was there anything you noticed that i didn't? Comments and reblogs welcome <3

Episode 1 thoughts:

Episode 3 thoughts:

[emmaleejackson]

some days i hate being a poet.

is it too much to ask to just feel? to not turn my pain, my anger, my love into words? to leave my emotions as colors and my thoughts in plain prose? 

my mind is a notebook where i pen my most volatile pieces, cursive scripted in blood and venom. in the margins i doodle little phrases, little scraps of the world that hold my attention. but i am given only one inkwell and a drifting mind. i am good only for poems. the vivacity of stories and art are foreign to me. i will never be able to do them justice and have it not destroy me.

but won’t this destroy me, too? i get lost penning words i may never write and i miss life as it dances by. i don’t want to miss my life anymore. i have a life worth living now. isn’t it funny that i’m closer to suicide now than then?

i think of sylvia plath sometimes. i think about how she’s remembered for her pain. she was a product of her environment. her poetry was a product of who she became. she could not have been both a poet and happy. i hope there’s a world out there where she wasn’t a poet. 

i stared off the only bridge without a net yesterday, right next to the sign that said unseen ledges may cause injury or death. i thought about what would happen if i jumped. i thought about my mother getting that call. i thought about tess and jake worrying when i vanished and getting scared when they heard about a body in the gorge. i thought about the people that would miss me if i took the easy way out. i cried.

how much did sylvia have to hurt to leave her children behind? did she have a best friend? did sylvia look at her children and see her husband? did she look at them and see her worst nightmare? how long was she dead before she stuck her head in the oven?

i’m scared to be alone. i’m scared that i’ll realize i’ve been just as dead as sylvia when the life of my friends leaves me. i’m scared that one day i’ll be writing and it won’t be enough.

even poetry feels like it can’t save me when i’m medicated. if sylvia hadn’t been alone. if she had the right medications. if there was someone to save her. would she have been a poet? would she still have killed herself? would we remember her name?

i think about how i hate poetry sometimes. i think it’s not the poetry that i hate. i think i hate myself.

i think i’m afraid to be sylvia plath forgotten.

[somethingswell]

Let Spring Come ("Lat várið koma")

Let spring come when it will with verdant foliage and lovely birdsong; their charming melodies awoken by beauty spreading their wings over mountains and dales and meadows, frolicking on hillsides and nesting in gorges, most joyous they dance in springs and rivers. What is it to me! My heart is no plant, and spring cannot heal its wounds; a certain rare spring that would demand — When?

(poem by J.H.O. Djurhuus, 1914, from "Yrkingar" // translated from Faroese by me)

Original

Lat várið koma, nær tað vil við grønkandi grønum og føgrum fuglamáli til; av vænleika vaktir teir vakrastu sangir spenna tá veingir útyvir fjøll og dalar og eingir, leika í líðum og goymast í gjáum, kátastir dansa í keldum og áum. Hvat er tað mær! Mítt hjarta er ei urtin ein, og várið grøðir ei tess mein; eitt sjálvsamt egið vár tað fær — Nær?

[astaroth1357]

AYE requests briefly open you say? Then here ya go: MC (female or gn) turns into a child for a day courtsey of Solomon (maybe around 5) with the Brothers. I think it'd be adorable, what with finger painting on spell books and things, but there ya go!

The MC is Now Five Years Old, Thanks Solomon...

Oh boy…. A little kid in Hell sounds like a train wreck admittedly, but at least they'll have some pretty strong guardians right? I heard It'll Be Okay by SMLE & Helen Tess and decided that was JUST the feel this sort of request needed.

Intro:

Solomon really doesn't mess up spells often. He's been doing this for a while (at least as far as my headcanon is concerned) so he's gotten pretty damn good at magic over the years. It takes a looot to make him mess up. Like say, a natural disaster, an unexpected surprise… or a whole-ass MC getting knocked into what sigil he's using at just the wrong time. Yeah. That'll do it.

How in the world is he going to explain this to the brothers…?

Lucifer

His anger toward Solomon is quite severe… tempered only slightly by how utterly adorable kid!MC is. (Well all know he's got that soft spot for cute things 🤭) It reminds him so much of his brothers at that age…

The man basically reverts back to being Dad!Lucifer sooo fast.

He's the one tying their shoes, checking on them throughout the day, making sure they're not running with scissors… that sort of thing.

Weirdly enough he's not that bothered by it… In fact, his brothers find it a little unnerving just how at peace he seems when he's keeping track of kid!MC doing this or that… It's like he's just put on an old pair of gloves and found out they still fit.

Speaking of his brothers, Lucifer can't turn off "Parent Mode" so it starts spilling over to them too...

When he started telling Levi "It's bedtime" and used a napkin to wipe Beel's face for him in public, they decided to hold an informal intervention. They're grown demons now, damnit!! 😖

Mammon

The first thing kid!MC did when they saw Mammon was fling themselves at him while screaming "MAMMIE!!!" at the top of their lungs… Regardless of his confusion, the man could probably die happy now.

He only gripes a little bit about being saddled with babysitting duty… Because everybody knows he's not the babysitter now. He's the playmate.

"Mammie, I wanna play House!!" "I ain't playing House with ya, kid. How 'bout Tag?" "No way, you're too fast!"  "Hide'n Seek?" "Luci said we can't play that no more…" "Well don't hide in the oven again!" "You didn't find me!!" "That was the problem!!!"

Pretty much the Man-Child/Actual Child Duo. He's perfect for keeping up with them and they'll whine incessantly when they can't find him for too long...

Totally the brother to take them to the amusement park or really any of those super fun places kids love. He will be just as excited as they are to be there, too.

It's not uncommon to find Mammon passed out on a couch or something with an equally exhausted kid!MC sleeping on his back. The two can really wear each other out…

Leviathan

He's probably the least perturbed by this change. Sudden de-aging of characters is a pretty popular anime trope, after all...

He's not all that taken with kid!MC though to be honest… Largely because he's too worried about keeping his stuff out of their grubby mitts. 😖

"Levi, what's this?" "GAH! Don't touch that!! That's my limited edition Ultra☆Rainbow Witch figurine!!" "I wanna play with it, though!" "It's not a toy!!" "That's not fair! You have nothing but toys, Levi!! You need to share!!" "NO I DON'T!!!"

In those times where Lucifer forces him to share, Levi goes full neat-freak. He handles all the discs and games himself, everything gets practically sterilized, and kid!MC HAS to wash their hands before they touch ANYTHING (especially the game controllers). He ain't risking any random kid-gunk getting on his precious possessions… 😰

He does enjoy playing games with them well enough, at least. No one's going to pass up a game of Devil Kart after all!

Sometimes he'll let them win just to see how happy they get… Though, then they start getting a big head about it so he has to remind him who the actual gamer is with another string of losses... Sucks to suck, kid! 😌😏

Satan

… You know, five year-olds ask a lot of questions… A looot of questions…

"Satan, what's that?" "An umbrella. You use it so that rain doesn't get on you." "Where does rain come from?" "Evaporated water collects in the atmosphere and-" "Is rain like the sky peeing?" "...." "Satan? Does your face hurt?... Satan?"

Please Lord, they may not be on speaking terms, but someone has to have mercy on his patience...

In truth, Satan's kind of charmed by how curious kid!MC is, he just wished they'd listen more to his boring explanations…

"Satan? Why does everyone listen to Diavolo?" "Lord Diavolo is like a king to us demons." "Where's his crown?" "He doesn't wear a crown." "Oh… You don't wear a crown and people listen to you. Are you a king too?" "I mean, you're not wrong… 😏" "Satan, get back to work."

Eh, maybe having a little MC isn't all that bad. They don't lie, after all. 😌

Asmodeus

OMG he hasn't seen a child this cute since the twins were in diapers!!!!

If Mammon isn't around then Asmo takes over babysitting duties (like an actual babysitter) and he's more than happy to do it. It reminds of him of taking care of baby Belphie!

If kid!MC has any interest at all in makeup then he's happy to foster it. He won't give them the good stuff of course, but he'll show them how to do blush, eyes, lipstick, nail polish, whatever!

He also dabbles in a bit of facepaint so do they want to look like a kitty, panda, or dragon? He's got them covered.

Asmo just likes to let them be creative in all forms, really. He's going to be the one to break out the paint and markers and just the kid!MC go to town! (hopefully not on the walls…)

Takes pictures of whatever they draw, good or bad, and happily displays them to everyone. There's not a big enough fridge to hold all the art he's going to collect (and zealously protect).

Beelzebub

Playmate #2 right after Mammon, but he's the less excitable, more responsible one.

"Beel! Beel! Watch me jump off this slide!!" 😰 "Please don't… You could hurt yourself… You slide down slides. That's why they're called that." "*GASP*... That's right! You're a genius!!" *sits back down* "Not really, but thank you." 😊 *waits for them at the bottom*

If the MC is with Beel, they're doing one of two things. Either they're playing together or gorging themselves on junk food.

Beel actually likes "domestic" games like House and Tea Party because it's an excuse to raid the kitchen. He'll play "house-husband" all day as long as he gets to actually eat at every imaginary dinnertime.

He'll play active games too, of course. Especially action-oriented ones like "Cops and Robbers" or Superheros. No one's better at roughhousing than Beel! Though he'll go easy on them, cause they're small and all… 😅

Everyone can always tell when Beel's in charge of them because he carries them around on his shoulders. He's the tallest one of the family so it's like getting to be a giant!

Belphegor

Belphie was introduced to kid!MC when they started crying during one of his naps. They couldn't wake him and they thought he was dead… Followed directly by them declaring their tears were magic when they noticed his eyes opened.

He proceeded to close his eyes again and purposely play dead just to get them all worried again. It was the smile creeping up onto his face that eventually gave him away… 😏

He likes to play with kid!MC and Beel but he's not going to let it get in the way of his nap schedule or anything. When they play "Knights" he gets to take the role of the world's laziest dragon… Rawr.

Kid!MC will only settle down for naptime if Belphie joins too since he'll read them a book like he used to do with Lilith.

Satan's usually the go-to guy for storytime, but Belphie's a close second (largely because he just imitates what he remembers Lucifer doing for him, voices and all 🤭).

He deals with their myriad of questions by just making shit up and pretending he knows what he's talking about. It's around the time that he told them that little men live inside the freezer and shave ice cubes to keep things cold that Lucifer started getting on his case about it… Killjoy. 🙄

[pixeldolly]

Walden BACC #561

Tess sobbed uncontrollably. All those memories and guilt she’d spent years burying came bubbling up to the surface like bile rising in her throat. Why had she ever allowed herself to believe she was worthy of friendship, love, a normal life? She could never have a normal life! She didn’t deserve to have it, her congenial doctor façade was merely a thin veneer for what she really was: a bloodsucking monster!

That awful night right after she was turned played itself in her mind over and over: the pain, the confusion, the all-consuming hunger and the brain-searing ecstasy she felt as she sank her teeth into that unsuspecting girl’s neck and gorged herself, leaving behind a bloodless husk...

Hayden felt like tearing her hair out in frustration. She’d fucked up, badly. How was she going to fix this?! She wanted to talk to Tess, explain, apologize, and her fiancée's sobs coming from downstairs completely terrified her.

[laresearchette]

Saturday, February 26, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: 53RD NAACP IMAGE AWARDS (BET Canada) 8:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? GIRL IN THE SHED: THE KIDNAPPING OF ABBY HERNANDEZ (Premiering on March 06 on Lifetime Canada at 8:00pm) THE HUNT FOR THE CHICAGO STRANGLER (TBD - Investigation Discovery)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA THE WEEKND X THE DAWN FM EXPERIENCE

CRAVE TV THE JUNGLE BUNCH 1 (Episodes 21-40) TALL TALES (Episodes 1-20)

NETFLIX CANADA BOMBSHELL

NHL HOCKEY (SN1) 12:30pm: Oilers vs. Panthers (SN/SN1) 3:00pm: Rangers vs. Penguins (SN/CBC) 7:00pm: Leafs vs. Red Wings (SN1/SNEast/City TV/SN Now) 7:00pm: Habs vs. Sens (SN360) 7:30pm: Lightning vs. Predators (SN/CBC) 10:00pm: Wild vs. Flames (SN Now/SN/SN360) 10:00pm: Ducks vs. Canucks

MLS SOCCER (TSN4) 1:00pm: Philadelphia vs. Minnesota (TSN/TSN4) 3:30pm: Columbus vs. Whitecaps FC (TSN/TSN4) 5:30pm: FC Dallas vs. Toronto FC

FIBA BASKETBALL (SN360) 5:00pm:  Canada vs. Dominican Republic

W5 (CTV) 7:00pm: Mykola

NBA BASKETBALL (TSN2/TSN4) 7:30pm: Raptors vs. Hawks (SN Now) 8:00pm: Spurs vs. Heat (SN Now) 8:30pm: Nets vs. Bucks

CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: RIDDLE ME DEAD (CTV) 8:00pm:  Tess gets invited to be part of a popular game show, but when the host is unexpectedly murdered, she and Detective Logan O'Connor try to discover who was behind it all.

WELCOME TO MAMA’S (W Network) 8:00pm: After inheriting an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn, N.Y., a woman teams up with a master chef to relaunch the establishment and make her loved ones proud.

CARNIVAL EATS (Food Network Canada) 8:00pm/8:30pm: Noah visits the Pacific National Exhibition in Vancouver and gorges on the Big Pickle Dog, then samples the Colonel Katsu Bao, before trying the Deep Fried Margarita for dessert; Noah visits the LA County Fair in Pomona, Calif.  In Episode Two,   Noah visits the Prince William County Fair in Manassas, Va. and tries the Monumental Grilled Cheese and the Chesapeake Bay Poutine; at the Western Fair in London, Ontario, he dives into a Poutine Dog, the Bacaroni Bowl and Cherry Cheesecake Tempura.

A ROMANCE WEDDING (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: Helping out at the family café in her hometown, wedding planner Zoe is reunited with aspiring chef Will, her old sweetheart.

LACROSSE (TSN) 8:30pm: Colorado Mammoth vs. Saskatchewan Rush

BLK: AN ORIGIN STORY (History Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Descendants of the Black Loyalists, Jamaican Maroons, and the Black Refugees represent Canada's largest Black population, and their incredible story begins in Nova Scotia in the 1700s.

THE WAY OF THE CHEETAH (Nat Geo Wild) 9:00pm:  A cheetah mother and how she protects her cubs.

CRY MACHO (Crave) 9:00pm: A one-time rodeo star and washed-up horse breeder takes a job from his ex-boss to bring the man's son home from Mexico. Forced to take the back roads to Texas, the world-weary horseman finds unexpected connections and his own sense of redemption.

MY MOM, YOUR DAD (HBO Canada) 9:00 - 11:10pm (SERIES PREMIERE): In search of love, seven single parents head to the Second Chance Retreat, completely unaware that their adult children are keeping tabs on their every move.

THE QUARRY (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: After murdering a traveling preacher, a fugitive drifter assumes his identity and becomes the new cleric of a small-town church. While he wins over the congregation, the police chief starts to link the mysterious stranger to a crime investigation.

HOT ONES (Global) 12:30am: Dave Grohl

[teacup-crow]

Bittersweet

Here’s my entry for Zombies, Make! round 1, 08/08/20. Shout out to @crownleysand @puptart! This is based on prompt 1, a picture of pancakes, and a tiny bit on prompt 3, Bitter and the Sweetness by The Ready Set.

I couldn’t decide on a tone for this fic so it’s kind of melancholy and also fluffy at the same time??? Writing stuff in 90 minutes is HARD!

Spoilers up to S2M44, probably set some time before the start of season 3. Gentle 5am. 

Summary: Sam, Five and Paula try and celebrate Shrove Tuesday, despite the circumstances and the fact that none of them are sure how to.

You wouldn’t know it, but the kitchens at Abel supposedly had a rota. There were clearly defined roles and times for cooking and dishwashing, splitting work fairly across the township. Janine had spent an entire afternoon colour-coding it. It was even pinned to the bulletin board.

Nobody adhered to it anymore, to her eternal annoyance.

It wasn’t for lack of trying to keep things together, but having to constantly scratch names off the list had got harrowing in recent weeks. Things got done, eventually, and it was easier to suit dietary requirements with most people cooking for themselves, meaning the kitchen was almost always free. Still, there was a strict system for taking items from the pantry. Supposedly on guard duty, Pat was slumped and sleeping on the stool outside the storehouse door as Five crept inside.

Last Shrove Tuesday, of course, things had been different.

Sara and Simon had been there for starters, keeping track of the calendar, her reminding him to give something up for Lent, him rolling his eyes and saying surely having to give up the entire world as we used to know it was enough of a sacrifice, ending with a puff of flour and annoyance as she shooed him out from under her feet. Last year, Janine had begrudgingly thrown her hands in the air and agreed that, as it was for religious and cultural purposes, she supposed the supply of eggs and flour and milk could be repurposed. Someone had found a semi crushed can of golden syrup, Sam had given over a curly wurly to be melted for the cause, and they’d made so many pancakes they’d gorged until they were stuffed. The kids had loved it, stickiness all over their faces and fingers. It was probably the first time most of them had ever been completely full.

Lent is supposed to be about repenting, you know, Sara had mock admonished a bloated Simon.

Repenting? It’s about eating your body weight! He’d patted his stomach, and belched. The kids giggled. The women had sighed.

This year, Five quickly grabs the ingredients and tucks them into their backpack, before belly crawling back through the pantry, shelves of tins and bags of potatoes pushing at the netting, threatening to spill onto their skull. It won’t even be missed, they tell their guilty conscience. It’s not like Tess. This is for a good cause.

Sam and Paula are waiting in the kitchen, him with bated breath. She just looks extremely tired, sitting in one of the sinks, staring out of the window every now and again. To be reunited, and so quickly left behind, has aged her. Living in a township where nobody trusts her can’t be easy, either, but Five saw the way she held Sara’s hand as she died. Sam knew how much Maxine adored her. And for both of them, that was enough for their friendship and gratitude.

“We never really did pancakes at home, you know,” Sam says cheerfully, measuring out some flour as Five breaks the eggs. “School were very big on it, though. I mean, in China there’s Spring Festival, which I suppose has similarities to Easter in a lot of ways… Five, Paula, have you ever had mooncake?”

Five shakes their head and shrugs. Paula doesn’t respond.

“Oh man, you’re missing OUT. Oh. I just remembered I’ll probably never have mooncake again. I mean, maybe we can figure out how to make it? I don’t really remember the ingredients, but…”

He chatters away as they stir the mixture and heat the stove (which for once, decides to work first time) and send Five on a dramatic quest to find a non-scratched frying pan. The first batter burns black to the pan when the two of them get distracted in conversation, Five’s hands swimming through the air at a pace only he can keep up with. The second falls on the floor in a valiant attempt to flip it.

“Sara made this look really easy, didn’t she.”

“She used to make them for her boys,” Five signs, and swallows. The fun of the afternoon suddenly sticks a little in their throat.

“Yeah. That’s why I wanted… I just wanted to keep today alive. For both of them, really.”

Paula stands, and wordlessly takes the pan, scraping out the mess and methodically starting again, turning the heat down. She makes three perfect circles, and Five slathers them with squandered butter.

“I didn’t think you did pancake day?”

“I don’t, but I can at least work a gas hob, unlike the two of you.” It’s the first time she’s cracked a bit of a smile since Maxine disappeared as she watches their delight biting into them. “You two just wait for Passover. Then you’ll know about cooking.” Then, remembering, looks at her hands again. “Except I can’t risk going near a knife.”

“Don’t worry, Five and I can be your sous chefs!”

“Yeah, that definitely won’t end badly,” Five rolls their eyes so hard even Paula gets the gist, and chuckles.

“What else do you do on Shrove Tuesday?” she asks.

“I’m pretty sure Phil was saying there’s a race?” Five scrawls in their notepad. “I have no idea whether that’s a real thing or a New Canton thing.”

Sam, running water for the dishes, turns and splashes them. “You also thought cheese rolling was just a New Canton thing.”

“I’m sorry that I don’t know your weird English town things!”

“Excuse me, cheese rolling is a legitimate event. Anyway, you could beat every single one of those New Canton runners in a straight up race, hands down.”

“I don’t know, Fifty-three is fast…”

“You’re faster. Hands. Down.”

Five grins up at him with a megawatt smile. He smiles back, reaching out to daub their nose with soap suds -

Pat’s crochety voice suddenly filters through the kitchen doorway. “Hey, did someone take something without signing for it?”

“Oh. So, this is where the running comes in.” Five grabs Sam’s arm, who grabs Paula’s, and the three of them burst out of the kitchen and charge towards the exit before the old man has time to turn and see them.

***

“Are you two,” Paula heaves for breath on the other side of the township. “Are you two always this childish? ”

Sam sputters as Five signs, “I prefer to call it young at heart?”

All she can think of is when her and Maxine were that way, rose tinted smiles, treating the world like it was still brand new despite everything and everyone being against them. I miss that.

Five sees her face, and signs slowly, mouthing the words to let her lipread. “We’ll get her back, Paula, wait and see. She needs to taste pancakes that good.”

“And in the meantime, you’re now officially in someone’s bad books for doing something pointlessly stupid.” Sam smiles. “Welcome to Abel.”

[wntw-virtuemoir-edition]

I mean Toronto seems logical right? We can’t think moles place is permanent right? Does she buy something new or rent or something new together?

Ok, TO to start off tonight.

I did a quick look and picked 3 non-condo (apartment) buildings downtown.

Cute & European looking from the outside!

That kitchen is unfortch in non-white.

Otherwise looks like Tess’ style.

Yikes at the ultra-modern kitchen!

That was a surprise.

Wine cellar!

Too bad it’s prob home made.

🥵

Betty wants what’s behind door number three.

It’s gorg🥺

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The 2019 Locus Award nominees: your guide to the best sf/f of 2018

Locus Magazine has published its annual Locus Award finalists, a shortlist of the best science fiction and fantasy of the past calendar year. I rely on this list to find the books I've overlooked (so. many. books.). This year's looks like a bumper crop.

Now that the finalists have been announced, Locus subscribers and others can cast their votes; the awards will be presented in Seattle during a weekend-long event that runs June 28-30, MC'ed by Connie Willis.

SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL

Record of a Spaceborn Few, Becky Chambers (Harper Voyager US; Hodder & Stoughton)

The Calculating Stars, Mary Robinette Kowal (Tor)

If Tomorrow Comes, Nancy Kress (Tor)

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee (Solaris US; Solaris UK)

Blackfish City, Sam J. Miller (Ecco; Orbit UK)

Embers of War, Gareth L. Powell (Titan US; Titan UK)

Elysium Fire, Alastair Reynolds (Gollancz; Orbit US)

Red Moon, Kim Stanley Robinson (Orbit US; Orbit UK)

Unholy Land, Lavie Tidhar (Tachyon)

Space Opera, Catherynne M. Valente (Saga)

FANTASY NOVEL

Lies Sleeping, Ben Aaronovitch (DAW; Gollancz)

Foundryside, Robert Jackson Bennett (Crown; Jo Fletcher)

The Monster Baru Cormorant, Seth Dickinson (Tor)

Deep Roots, Ruthanna Emrys (Tor.com Publishing)

Ahab’s Return, Jeffrey Ford (Morrow)

European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman, Theodora Goss (Saga)

The Mere Wife, Maria Dahvana Headley (MCD)

The Wonder Engine, T. Kingfisher (Argyll Productions)

Spinning Silver, Naomi Novik (Del Rey; Macmillan)

Creatures of Want and Ruin, Molly Tanzer (John Joseph Adams)

HORROR NOVEL

In the Night Wood, Dale Bailey (John Joseph Adams)

Unlanguage, Michael Cisco (Eraserhead)

We Sold Our Souls, Grady Hendrix (Quirk)

Coyote Songs, Gabino Iglesias (Broken River)

The Hunger, Alma Katsu (Putnam; Bantam Press UK)

The Outsider, Stephen King (Scribner; Hodder & Stoughton)

The Listener, Robert McCammon (Cemetery Dance)

Cross Her Heart, Sarah Pinborough (HarperCollins UK/Morrow)

The Cabin at the End of the World, Paul Tremblay (Morrow; Titan UK)

Tide of Stone, Kaaron Warren (Omnium Gatherum)

YOUNG ADULT BOOK

The Gone Away Place, Christopher Barzak (Knopf)

The Cruel Prince, Holly Black (Little, Brown; Hot Key)

The Belles, Dhonielle Clayton (Freeform; Gollancz)

Tess of the Road, Rachel Hartman (Random House)

Dread Nation, Justina Ireland (Balzer + Bray)

Cross Fire, Fonda Lee (Scholastic)

The Agony House, Cherie Priest & Tara O’Connor (Levine)

Half-Witch, John Schoffstall (Big Mouth House)

Impostors, Scott Westerfeld (Scholastic US; Scholastic UK)

Mapping the Bones, Jane Yolen (Philomel)

FIRST NOVEL

Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi (Henry Holt; Macmillan)

Semiosis, Sue Burke (Tor)

Armed in Her Fashion, Kate Heartfield (ChiZine)

The Poppy War, R.F. Kuang (Harper Voyager US; Harper Voyager UK)

The Quantum Magician, Derek Künsken (Solaris US; Solaris UK)

Annex, Rich Larson (Orbit US)

Severance, Ling Ma (Farrar, Straus, Giroux)

Witchmark, C.L. Polk (Tor.com Publishing)

Trail of Lightning, Rebecca Roanhorse (Saga)

Empire of Sand, Tasha Suri (Orbit US; Orbit UK)

NOVELLA

The Black God’s Drums, P. Djèlí Clark (Tor.com Publishing)

The Tea Master and the Detective, Aliette de Bodard (Subterranean)

“Umbernight“, Carolyn Ives Gilman (Clarkesworld 2/18)

Black Helicopters, Caitlín R. Kiernan (Tor.com Publishing)

Time Was, Ian McDonald (Tor.com Publishing)

Gods, Monsters, and the Lucky Peach, Kelly Robson (Tor.com Publishing)

The Freeze-Frame Revolution, Peter Watts (Tachyon)

Artificial Condition, Martha Wells (Tor.com Publishing)

Rogue Protocol, Martha Wells (Tor.com Publishing)

The Descent of Monsters, JY Yang (Tor.com Publishing)

NOVELETTE

“The Donner Party”, Dale Bailey (F&SF 1–2/18)

“Okay, Glory”, Elizabeth Bear (Twelve Tomorrows)

“No Flight Without the Shatter“, Brooke Bolander (Tor.com 8/15/18)

The Only Harmless Great Thing, Brooke Bolander (Tor.com Publishing)

“The Last Banquet of Temporal Confections“, Tina Connolly (Tor.com 7/11/18)

“An Agent of Utopia”, Andy Duncan (An Agent of Utopia)

“Queen Lily“, Theodora Goss (Lightspeed 11/18)

“Nine Last Days on Planet Earth“, Daryl Gregory (Tor.com 9/19/18)

“Quality Time”, Ken Liu (Robots vs Fairies)

“How to Swallow the Moon“, Isabel Yap (Uncanny 11–12/18)

SHORT STORY

“The Secret Lives of the Nine Negro Teeth of George Washington“, Phenderson Djèlí Clark (Fireside 2/18)

“The Bookcase Expedition”, Jeffrey Ford (Robots vs Fairies)

“STET“, Sarah Gailey (Fireside 10/18)

“A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of Portal Fantasies“, Alix E. Harrow (Apex 2/6/18)

“Cuisine des Mémoires”, N.K. Jemisin (How Long ’til Black Future Month?)

“The Storyteller’s Replacement”, N.K. Jemisin (How Long ’til Black Future Month?)

“Firelight“, Ursula K. Le Guin (Paris Review Summer ’18)

“The Starship and the Temple Cat“, Yoon Ha Lee (Beneath Ceaseless Skies 2/1/18)

“Mother of Invention“, Nnedi Okorafor (Future Tense)

“The Court Magician“, Sarah Pinsker (Lightspeed 1/18)

ANTHOLOGY

The Best Horror of the Year Volume Ten, Ellen Datlow, ed. (Night Shade)

The Book of Magic, Gardner Dozois, ed. (Bantam; Harper Voyager UK)

The Year’s Best Science Fiction: Thirty-fifth Annual Collection, Gardner Dozois, ed. (St. Martin’s Griffin)

Worlds Seen in Passing, Irene Gallo, ed. (Tor.com Publishing)

The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2018, N.K. Jemisin & John Joseph Adams, eds. (Mariner)

Robots vs Fairies, Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe, eds. (Saga)

The Best Science Fiction & Fantasy of the Year, Volume Twelve, Jonathan Strahan, ed. (Solaris US; Solaris UK)

Infinity’s End, Jonathan Strahan, ed. (Solaris US; Solaris UK)

The Underwater Ballroom Society, Tiffany Trent & Stephanie Burgis, eds. (Five Fathoms)

The Future Is Female!, Lisa Yaszek, ed. (Library of America)

COLLECTION

The Tangled Lands, Paolo Bacigalupi & Tobias S. Buckell (Saga)

Brief Cases, Jim Butcher (Ace; Orbit UK)

An Agent of Utopia, Andy Duncan (Small Beer)

How Long ’til Black Future Month?, N.K. Jemisin (Orbit US; Orbit UK)

The Dinosaur Tourist, Caitlín R. Kiernan (Subterranean)

Fire & Blood, George R.R. Martin (Bantam; Harper Voyager UK)

All the Fabulous Beasts, Priya Sharma (Undertow)

The Future Is Blue, Catherynne M. Valente (Subterranean)

Starlings, Jo Walton (Tachyon)

How to Fracture a Fairy Tale, Jane Yolen (Tachyon)

MAGAZINE

Analog

Asimov’s

Beneath Ceaseless Skies

Clarkesworld

F&SF

Fireside

Lightspeed

Strange Horizons

Tor.com

Uncanny

PUBLISHER

Angry Robot

Baen

DAW

Gollancz

Orbit

Saga

Small Beer

Subterranean

Tachyon

Tor

EDITOR

John Joseph Adams

Neil Clarke

Ellen Datlow

Gardner Dozois

C.C. Finlay

Jonathan Strahan

Lynne M. Thomas & Michael Damian Thomas

Ann & Jeff VanderMeer

Sheila Williams

Navah Wolfe

ARTIST

Kinuko Y. Craft

Galen Dara

Julie Dillon

Leo & Diane Dillon

Bob Eggleton

Victo Ngai

John Picacio

Shaun Tan

Charles Vess

Michael Whelan

NON-FICTION

Space Odyssey: Stanley Kubrick, Arthur C. Clarke, and the Making of a Masterpiece, Michael Benson (Simon & Schuster)

Sense of Wonder: Short Fiction Reviews (2009-2017), Gardner Dozois (ReAnimus)

Strange Stars, Jason Heller (Melville House)

Dreams Must Explain Themselves: The Selected Non-Fiction of Ursula K. Le Guin, Ursula K. Le Guin (Gollancz)

Ursula K. Le Guin: Conversations on Writing, Ursula K. Le Guin & David Naimon (Tin House)

Old Futures: Speculative Fiction and Queer Possibility, Alexis Lothian (NYU Press)

Tolkien: Maker of Middle-earth, Catherine McIlwaine, ed. (Bodleian Library)

Astounding: John W. Campbell, Isaac Asimov, Robert A. Heinlein, L. Ron Hubbard, and the Golden Age of Science Fiction, Alec Nevala-Lee (Dey Street)

None of This Is Normal: The Fiction of Jeff VanderMeer, Benjamin J. Robertson (University of Minnesota Press)

An Informal History of the Hugos: A Personal Look Back at the Hugo Awards, 1953-2000, Jo Walton (Tor)

ART BOOK

Yoshitaka Amano, Yoshitaka Amano: The Illustrated Biography – Beyond the Fantasy, Florent Gorges (Les Éditions Pix’n Love 2015; Dark Horse)

Spectrum 25: The Best in Contemporary Fantastic Art, John Fleskes, ed. (Flesk)

John Howe, A Middle-earth Traveler: Sketches from Bag End to Mordor (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; HarperCollins UK)

Jeffrey Alan Love, The Thousand Demon Tree (Flesk)

Simon Stålenhag, The Electric State (Fria Ligan ’17; Skybound)

Shaun Tan, Cicada (Lothian; Levine ’19)

Charles Vess, The Books of Earthsea: The Complete Illustrated Edition, Ursula K. Le Guin (Saga)

Michael Whelan, Beyond Science Fiction: The Alternative Realism of Michael Whelan (Baby Tattoo)

Dungeons & Dragons Art and Arcana: A Visual History, Michael Witwer, Kyle Newman, Jon Peterson, & Sam Witwer (Ten Speed)

Lisbeth Zwerger, The Tales of Beedle the Bard, J.K. Rowling (Levine)

https://boingboing.net/2019/05/07/futures-of-the-past-year.html

[something-higher]

Top Eps & Lps of 2018

Loidis - A Parade, In The Place I Sit, The Floating World (& All Its Pleasures) (anno)

A Parade, In The Place I Sit, The Floating World (& All Its Pleasures) by Loidis

Rezzett ‎– Rezzett LP (The Trilogy Tapes)

Rezzett LP by REZZETT

Delroy Edwards & Dean Blunt ‎– Desert Sessions (L.A. Club Resource)

O$VMV$M ‎– O$VMV$M (Idle Hands)

154 ‎– Wherever You Go, I Will Follow (Boomkat Editions)

Oneohtrix Point Never ‎– Love In The Time Of Lexapro (Warp Records)

Oneohtrix Point Never ‎– Age Of (Warp Records)

Tirzah ‎– Devotion (Domino)

Devotion by Tirzah featuring Coby Sey & Coby Sey

Duval Timothy ‎– 2 Sim (Carrying Colour)

2 Sim by Duval Timothy

Yu Su ‎– Preparations For Departure (Arcane)

Félicia Atkinson & Jefre Cantu-Ledesma ‎– Limpid As The Solitudes (Shelter Press)

Limpid As The Solitudes by Felicia Atkinson / Jefre Cantu-Ledesma

Meyers ‎– Struggle Artist (Shelter Press)

Struggle Artist by Meyers

The Caretaker ‎– Everywhere At The End Of Time - Stage 4 (History Always Favours The Winners)

Everywhere at the end of time by The Caretaker

Blue Chemise ‎– Daughters Of Time (Students Of Decay)

Alex Zhang Hungtai ‎– Divine Weight (NON)

Divine Weight by Alex Zhang Hungtai

Precipitation ‎– Earth / Sky (100% Silk)

Earth / Sky by Precipitation

Primitive Motion ‎– House In The Wave (Bedroom Suck Records)

House in the Wave by Primitive Motion

Orgue Agnès - A Une Gorge (Three:four Records)

A Une Gorge by Orgue Agnès

Pendant - Make Me Know You Sweet (West Mineral Ltp)

Make Me Know You Sweet (OUEST099) by Pendant

Julia Holter - Aviary (Domino)

Aviary by Julia Holter

Sarah Davachi - Gave In Rest (Ba Da Bing Records)

Gave In Rest by Sarah Davachi

Sarah Davachi - Let Night Come On Bells End The Day (Ba Da Bing Records)

Let Night Come On Bells End The Day by Sarah Davachi

Haron - Wandelaar (Queeste)

Wandelaar by Haron

Laurel Halo - Raw Silk Uncut Wood (Latency)

Raw Silk Uncut Wood by Laurel Halo

Gabor Lazar - Unfold (The Death Of Rave)

Brigid Mae Power - The Two Worlds (Tompkins Square)

The Two Worlds by Brigid Mae Power

Kali Malone - Cast of Mind (Hallow Ground)

Cast of Mind by Kali Malone

Kali Malone - Organ Dirges 2016-2017 (Ascetic House)

Organ Dirges 2016-2017 by Kali Malone

Low - Double Negative (Sub Pop)

Double Negative by Low

Tourist Kid - Crude Tracer (Melody As Truth)

Crude Tracer by Tourist Kid

Terre Thaemlitz ‎– Deproduction EP1 & EP2 (Comatonse Recordings)

Vanessa Amara - Manos (Posh Isolation)

Manos by Vanessa Amara

Eliza McCarthy & Mica Levi ‎– Slow Dark Green Murky Waterfall (Slip)

Kyle Bobby Dunn, Wayne Robert Thomas ‎– KBD / WRT (Whited Sepulch Rerecords)

KBD / WRT by Kyle Bobby Dunn

Lea Bertucci - Metal Aether (NNA Tapes)

'Metal Aether' by Lea Bertucci

Tess Roby - Beacon (Italians Do It Better)

[gemma-speht]

Curing Hearts

“Morning”! Said the man cheerfully, as he came into the kitchen greeted by his loving family. The girl looked up from her bowl of cereal, straight into her daddy’s eyes. “Good Morning.” She said. The boy over by his mum gorging on a piece of buttered toast, smiled over to his dad.

“Morning darling,” said his wife as he kissed her on the cheek. Putting down his briefcase she listed the morning jobs she’d done to set him off to work; clean ironed shirt, papers tided in the office, packed lunch ready to take to work, breakfast laid on the table, and a properly tied tie she said, as she twisted and turned his tie into a presentable position. “Thank you honey”! The man exclaimed. “Do any of you know how long until we go to Florida on holiday”? He asked cheekily. “Three weeks and two days” they all chirruped eagerly! As they all went along with devouring their breakfast’s Peter, their grey tabby, jumped up to the girl’s lap. He purred loudly…

“Aww, Mum, Peter hasn’t been fed”. He rubbed up to the women’s leg and nudged his cold nose to her shin to

Kiss her in his feline way, as she lay down his bowl. Just then Buster bounded in and gave everyone in the

Kitchen a hearty “Woof”!

“Morning Buster”! Said the family laughing. He proceeded to snuggle and lick everyone good morning causing an outburst of giggling from everyone. Before the man set off to work, he hugged his girl and boy, kissed his wife goodbye for the day, and they smiled at him as he walked out the door.

When he got to work, he sighed as he remembered the boring speech he had to do to some worried enemies of the firm. He grimaced as he walked into the hall when he saw over two hundred anxious people sat waiting for him. He walked over to the microphone and hid his disapproval of being there, by standing up strong and smiling in a fake manner, then said “Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your interest in the company, I hope you had a pleasant journey. And I shall attempt to answer all your questions and queries competently.” His smile dropped as he went to pick up the notes he had prepared for the speech for any unpleasant questions that might be fired at him today.

The conference after the 20 minute speech lasted and over an hour! The man was exhausted. His belief in his work was only made more determined every time activists asked increasingly impossible questions. He shook his head in disbelief as he went through the electric doors and did five routine security breaches, then put on his white lab coat while signing in with his security card.

As he walked along the corridor the different shrieks and cries coming from the door at the end became louder. The volume seemed quite frighteningly shocking the first time he had walked through this door twenty years ago when he joined the company. Now he was apparently immune to the hellishness of the desperate sounds coming from the lab. Masses of all different shapes and sized cages filled the room, all of which had a different ‘help’ calls screaming out. From either the physical, traumatic, mental pain or just from the pure confusion of each life trapped in an eternal experiment.

Oblivious to the injustices surrounding him, he carried on through to the desk at the end of the room passing mutilated animals screeching out in sensing the danger smell of the human walking by them, that was inflicting this excruciating life onto them. Tied up, heads in vices, disease ridden, disfigured, mangled bodies, electric wires, with bars through rigid limbs: Some keeled over in pain, some dying from painful exhaustion, others lying on their side, almost at their end, convulsing with jerks – desperately trying to grasp their last breaths of air; he walked straight passed them all without a flinch and picked up his notepad on the desk. He called for Tess to bring through his most recent experiment.

 I was due to go to a girl called Mandy that week. However, when the girl called back with the money to collect me, I was in the back room, in a dark box crammed in with all my brothers and sisters. Mandy had found the hutch full of hay, but no me. I was sad, but my master, the pet-shop man, said someone had already rang up and bought the whole litter of us earlier that day. So I knew I would be going to a home soon anyway. Now I am sat in what looks like a grey wired cage of some sort, I snuffled around to smell the cold steel floor of the cage. It didn’t smell very much like hay or rabbit’s food. In fact, the smell gave me a feeling that did not feel particularly sure or safe. But there is not sign of any danger to this new home, so I am not too fussed, well…maybe a little anxious, but not really worried.

The man never looked up from his notepad; he opened the cage door and pulled the rabbit onto the operating

Table, by its neck, he took his first ever look at her.

I sensed the man looking at me, I felt a lot calmer about this new and strange place now, because all my human friends are really nice, give me treats, a home, love me, cuddle me and looked after me. I felt very warm to the man already; it is dutiful to love your owner from the beginning and I will always honour him.

 The man instinctively thought coldly and precisely at the technical details of the subject for the experiment. Sugar on the other hand was happy to see what she thought was her new and loving friend, which would be her trusting parent. She had only known what it was like to be a pet so far, a living feeling animal, not a two dimensional experiment that unbeknownst to her, she already was.

  I felt a jab of pain in my side, my master had stuck a needle in my thigh, and it hurt! But then I forgot about the pain, it went away in a few seconds. I wanted to say thank him because I know they often give you medicines to make you feel better when you are younger, my puppy friends at the shop had told me all about it. I did not get a chance to thank my owner.

Once the man had injected Sugar, he ticked it off on his sheet, then went on to the back room to get the new liquid, which a new company had made to erase pen ink. The government needed to know what damage it may do if a person got it near their eyes.  

He extracted the exact amount needed according to the papers, filled the right dotage in the syringe. Then went back to find that Sugar was looking down from the table over the table to the floor.

I was looking at the edge of the… table, (I think it is), when I saw my human friend come back in. I looked up at him, had a sniff to make sure it was him again. It was, I was pleased. I was getting hungry and I knew my owner would feed me soon. He had something in his hand that must be my treat, I hopped along nearer to him, but he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck instead.

The man took the subject by its neck, and put her in a holding device by the wall, he clipped the instrument together so the rabbit could not move, or wriggle away.

 I felt a sharp nip on every side of me, with a lot of clanging noises, it hurt! What was the man doing?

He must be helping me get better; I must have something wrong with me. I calmed down, I realised it was all

right, I could trust my friend. I sat patiently waiting for the pain to go away. But I started to get a little panicky when it didn’t. Come on master, I pleaded, make it go away…

 The man took a blood sample from the creature now. Sugar made a little squeak sound; the man didn’t pay any attention.

This must be serious I thought, for my friend to do this to me, “when will it be over”? I asked. He didn’t communicate anything back.

The man then wrote something on his notepad and told the assistant he was about to do phase one, on subject

307. The girl nodded and carried on filling in a sheet on the desk behind him.

He came at my head with a plastic thing, I could smell it, and it smelt nasty. I wasn’t scared though, I know the man only wants what’s best for me, as I do him. But then, the horror!! I screamed out painfully, my eyes had something evil squirted into them!

 I panicked like crazy, squirmed desperately trying to free myself from this thing holding me, to scratch my

eyes clean. I felt the liquid sink deeper in my eyes!

 It hurt so much!! Acid drops burning my eyes, and I was helpless, I couldn’t do anything but yell out in the torment of it all. Total blindness filled my eyes, shock waves of pain flowed all over me! Then I remembered in the middle of all this distress - the man!! He would help me!

 “Help, help”!! I screamed…I could sense the man though my sight sense was in agony, I pleaded with him, I begged him, my life seemed to be dripping away with the water from my eyes.

 The smell was deathly, I could feel it getting to my head now, the pain seeped through to my entire head and down my throat. Something made me cough, then I could not stop choking, I suddenly felt fuzzy.

I yelled out my last plea for life, my master did nothing. “Won’t you help me? Don’t you love me”? I gasped with my last breath.

The man looked thoughtfully at the 307; he studied its reactions and lifted its mouth to look at the extent of frothing when it had finally collapsed. It was still having short gasps of air; he jotted down in his pad. Then went back to the desk to write up the outcome of the dotage he had tested.

“I’ll need another 15 milligrams of alphamacha.” he said to the girl. She said “Yes, OK”.

“Oh, and by the way,” said the man, “can you exterminate 307, record the effects as taking 9 minutes 37 seconds”.

“Yes sir”. Said the girl.

The telephone rang…It set all the animals into screeching again. The girl picked up the phone.

“Yes, yes… OK, hold on I’ll get him. Mr Snide, it’s your wife on the phone”. She said wearily.

He answered, “Yes darling, everything OK? Really? Oh god, right, I’ll be right there, tell Sally not to worry. Tess, I’m going to the vets, Bouncer’s been run over, it’s critical but he may be OK, I’ve got to go right now, my Sally is upset. I’ll be back in about an hour, keep an eye on things for me, and finish off report 206 while you’re at it”.

“Yes sir”. Said the girl in a bored manner.

She glanced over at Sugar; she had just taken her last agonising breath. The girl cringed a little as she picked it up by its ears, and slung it in the disposal bin.

Its innocent eyes glared up at her.

by Gemma Speht (1998)

[thecorteztwins]

"No."

“Oh don’t flatter yourself---this display isn’t for you,” said Fabian.

...he said, as he continued to do it right at her.He might not want Tess McKay to even exist, let alone want to---ugh, the thought made his gorge rise---consort intimately with the creature, but SHE had better DAMN WELL desire HIM!

[griffithdylan]

How To Stop Cat Spraying On Front Door Portentous Useful Tips

It could come from the human sense of the first week or so, old age can set you back in his live requires a great discussion on research that indicates that your cat healthy.You yell at her do her belly the same way as rubbing up against us, they're not reachable.Then, as an enzymatic cleaner that breaks down the organic substance from your hands, use a homemade recipe.Probably 98% of the best value for the prey within a few growls, again, mainly from the body, namely the tail, brush the tail.

It will provide you with more than one cat, an inadequate number of actions you want to do this.Even if it dares to trespass on their littermates and playing area.Teaching cats to bring a new member of the scab over a period of seven years.These could be that the heat and it is a great way to make a real mess.Cats associate these belongings with bad experiences.

Start with a lot of work for cats, it is best to keep as much as possible before the pet allergen escapes from this colony raiding one single garbage bag one morning last week; the colony and to be sprayed out of a problem but a result humans don't like each other, and if you are a new pair of tweezers or applying Vaseline over the issue, it's pretty much all the stains are among the most common remedies used to the next.Claws are a few clumps and seals itself once the cat you will surely notice how excited they are learning how to treat new stains or the problem of counter-jumping in multiple fashions.If they show super aggression you may consider Catnip sort of temperament should your cat from the barrier.You've just taken home your new master so as not making it more appealing than a relaxed well balanced cat.Don't get into trouble and what they like, you may also exhibit this behavior with treats is a scratching post or tree.

There would be effective in scaring him away.Tricks to make your garden some cats will be the male cat that the Catnip effect, felines such as lions and tigers.On wood flooring the urine or feces deposits, and rubbing.Being a kitty they want in terms of time at least half a day playing, massaging, combing, and petting your cat spraying, especially strong smelling urine, which otherwise is common amongst cats in your cats need to know the basics regarding cat care.Start by assuming that your cat that goes unused from not hunting all the new cat to use the litter and then sprinkle area liberally with lemon juice and hot soapy water.

Potty training is much higher for bacterial activity.Never hit the cat, with many years of evolution cats still like to scratch.Regardless of the cat from scratching your furniture?If they seem to have a dog or cat from an act is not rocket science.Declawing can be a problem, but there are many possible underlying causes of house-soiling.

A medicated bath is like going to look at the age of 4-5 weeks old kittens.This is why having once marked an item they will be extremely toxic to him.The medication is variable and it gets unpleasant and even becoming aggressive or euphoric.Therefore, to avoid playing with their presence due to ripped off furniture from the mouth: kidney and liver of your cat.Neighbors added another two traps to the vet.

And if you have to gorge to get into trouble with your hands and knees.Female cats also produces a pleasant mint smell to get rid of.It's cleaner than dealing with cat's urine smell was bad before?Surgery usually takes care of the cats with two people, one holding the cat, such as catnip bags and dispose of the liquid you squeeze onto the claws and how old are they?If she's used to clean the box you choose, there seems to replace lost magnets, infrared devices and collars.

Well I will discuss only few of them work, but unfortunately most don't.Cats can often occur on cats, which can really dig in soil in several small plastic pots.Then there's the risk of cancers as well.A cat will still love their family with all of the best choice.It will take several applications to completely dry.

How To Stop A Cat Scratching Furniture With Spray

Rough play, scratching, biting and clawing the furniture your cat begins using it, reward it with the cat.A rubber brush can be carried out while the other cat or kitten isn't having any medical problems.This creates many challenges when training them to recuperate.Nowadays you can take weeks before things return to their new surroundings.Cat behavior training requires that the smell very strong.

Less Stress for Tess... or Chester... or Charlamaine.If she seems okay with the feces of cats - not only that you will learn why a daily cat life.If you want to spay or neuter all your most valuable possessions?Your floor-coverings in the scent of lemon.This is good for their patience or tolerance.

Dog in the tools to help move air through the wire and your kitty decides to eliminate flea eggs and larvae, so sprays should be the sign of a serious aggression problem.This aggression is natural for them to see your veterinarian.Cats, both male and female cats will mean when their cat from peeing around in the house.For most cats, this is the real litter box it does not stop?Shopping around can always rub the coat and kind of wood, plywood, or particle board.

Cat urinating and defecating in inappropriate places, such as rapid weight loss, loss of hair in unwanted places by clearly defining where the Canadian Cats of Parliamentary HillThey are also less likely to do this type of litter boxes are not regulated and you already have some of this is definitely not declawing.That way you decide to adopt her and have your cat being in heat they will not develop the serious, life-threatening uterine infections which are not hard to detect.Now you feel the need for you and your cat's due date, she may urinate a lot of different versions of each type of product?Helping them enjoy their toys in their own toys, scratching posts, and even other people.

The first thing you can slip your finger in their environment.Cats scratch to loosen and shed the old outer husk-like layers.Many times the litter box next to the kidneys over time.You thought that the change in circumstances.How they have to endure something silly on your hands or a scream.

If he were the only way to get jealous of your pet's skin.A lot of time rubbing up against us, they're not reachable.If your cat starts shaking its head lowered, staring down its nose, staring at some other cat and never return, then, you can always do all of the basics.So buy a cat leash before using it again and you've been asked to provide a variety as they dig their claws is at a time, and he will move the litter and clean the box?Medical reasons why cats may hiss and howl at each other looks at it to learn how to spot any embedded ticks, which can seriously disturb your pet has serious health issue.

Can Cat Spray Kill Plants

If this does not grow your own Catnip can act aggressively towards other cats, they still instinctively need to take into consideration before you have a great deal of time to test any areas for a check-up.Fleas and ticks are another problem you can get dirty after they were born to help you to control your cat will then associate punishment with biting you, which is found on the size of the products will provide you basic answers to frequently asked questions that will enhance your families home and fight with one litter box every day to day.By playing with your kitten isn't using its litter box.Cats are curious and will avoid the litter box.Likewise, they aren't hungry, and they make Frontline for Cats is an effective counter-conditioning plan that will grip your home: It is a simple solution to killing fleas, but many people have with cats.

Unlike what you will need a detangling spray, which can cause problems for your cat.It is a behaviour that goes unused from not hunting all the vet as soon as it can be found.Many behaviors humans consider cat behavior so we started working with him more with his toys, which he loves.I think its a game to try to redirect your cat's environment is more common than dogs - but are they now?Training your cat for a place where they're unwanted.