#THIS IS A LOT !!

[grapehyasynth]

I really feel tremendous grief for friendships that kind of petered away in the face of life's currents. There are people with whom I formed deep, unique, vibrant, life-changing connections, and then we had to go our separate ways and it was too hard to maintain long-distance. There wasn't a fight, it just sort of faded. And I feel like I have more friendships like this than friendships that have endured, so maybe I just have to get used to it. But if grief is all the love we have left over - well, I never did get to finish loving them. I love them, and I miss them, and I probably always will.

[alexiapp]

𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐘

𝖠𝗅𝖾𝗑𝗂𝖺 𝖯𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗌 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐭. (𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

Summary: you and Ale have a little fun at the beach !!

You and Ale decide to go on a walk to get some fresh air, what seemed to be a a harmless activity turned into 𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐲. Today was a hot day in Barcelona not used to such hot weather made the whole walk a struggle, for you in particular

and a whole lot of 𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 came from you.

“𝐀𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐭, 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮“ you said fanning your face as you continued your whining. One thing you couldn’t stand is hot weather. You just weren’t used to this kind of environment, you’re used to the cold of England. Alexia chuckled and playfully rolled her eyes “𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐚 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥“ she did as she continued her teasing. You rolled your eyes, you were far from annoyed you were starting to get pissy that was always a given for you when your in such weather conditions, you were 𝐍𝐎𝐓 fond of this heat at 𝐚𝐥𝐥.

You spoke up, “𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞“ you said as you started dragging your feet on the concrete of the Barcelona side walks. Ale’s walking came to a halt “𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫“ she said trying to reason with you. You turned around and asked “𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐀𝐥𝐞“ you replied the blonde haired woman raised a her eyebrows and smiled with a ‘𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞’ look on her face and said “𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐟𝐟“ with a rush of your feet you grabbed Alexia by her wrist and urged her to quicken the tan women’s pace adamant to get back to there shared flat.

Fast forward you guys arrived to your flat. You went into your drawer looking for a bathing suit wise Alexia gathered things we may need in our beach bag. You settled on a black bikini thong for the bottoms and a basic black bikini top. you put it on, and decided to wear a sheer black skirt to cover up a little. As you stared in the mirror trying to fix anything out of place the door opened and Alexia walked in. She snuck up behind you wrapped her arms around your body and whispered in your ear “𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐢 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐚“ she muttered as she picked her head up to start kissing your neck.

You started to giggle from the pecks she gave you on your neck and you said “𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐭 ?“ she nodded and said “𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬“ she said with a smile. you guys checked around to make sure you had everything you needed in case of a emergency and after you decided you did you picked up your stuff and headed to the car. Wise driving on the way to the beach Alexia put her hands on your thigh and rubbed her thumb and kept looking between you and the road smiling to herself. “𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞?“ you said as you saw her constant eyes on you. “𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐦𝐢 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫?“ she said laughing shaking her head as she pulled in close to the beach, you slapped her hand away from your thigh in a playfully manner and shook your head at her antics.

Ale quickly got out of the car and jogged around to open your door to help you out of her cupra “𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮“ you said to her thanking her for her gentlewoman like behavior she nodded and smiled and opened the back door to get you guys beach bag. she shut the door and locked her car and grabbed your hand as you guys walked down to shore. You were excited to finally feel cool after this hot day.

As Ale set our things down she started to take off her shirt and shorts revealing a white and black zebra print, bikini you admired everything about her from head to toe. her strong arms, her chiseled abs ,strong legs and lastly her beautiful face, being caught in your day dream Alexia decided to play with you for a little bit. you felt your body lift into the air as your instinct told you to wrap your legs around Alexia’s waist to your surprise you let out a squeal as she started to run and bring you closer to shore.

You looked at alexia with a warning look “𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐲𝐞𝐭“ you said with a knowing looking. Ale gave a mischievous smile in response and said okay, using one hand to hold you up and the other to untie the knot of the mesh skirt and threw it somewhere on the sand and quickly ran you guys deeper into the water out of nowhere.

“𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚 𝐢 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮“ you said after you were thrown in the water you jumped up water trying to catch you breath. Alexia thought it was the funniest thing ever and let out a long chuckle, you began to show a face with disapproval crossing your arm. Ale laughed and said “𝐜𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫?“ she said as she slowly glided her way through the water towards you as the taller tanned women wrapped her arms around your waist trying to hug you.

You pushed her hands in protest “𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞“ you said in a playful tone trying to act annoyed. “𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫“ she said as she reached down to pull you into a passionate kiss even making the effort to move her kisses down to your neck, sucking a little. you guys decided to swim close around the shore moving around trying to cool off. You finally felt relaxed in the cool water, as the sun began to set. After you started to get a little chilly you guys decided to dry off and set a towel down from the beach bag onto the sand to relax.

You grabbed a random book Alexia brought for you and she decided to go on her phone scrolling through social media and replying back to messages. After you guys laid down, the tanned women had other thoughts. she slowly scooted towards you pushing the book down as she started to kiss your neck “𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠“ you said in a whining protest, as she continued and even gotten to the point where she reached her hands down into your bikini bottoms until you pulled her hands out to stop her, she frowned at you. “𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞“ you said as you looked her in the eyes.

She groaned in annoyance as she tried to protest “𝐜𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐢 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐚“ she said in a whining tone. “𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞“ you said in a lecturing tone. Alexia laughed at the comment and as you also laughed at her in amusement and surprise. You guys laughter died down as you two just stared at each other. Her pupils dilated looking into your eyes as she said opened her mouth and said “𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮“ she said to you wise cupping your face. you leaned into her touched and looked back up at her and said “𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐨“ she replied back “𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨“ she said in a love dazed tone.

[yousaygoodbyeandisay]

Hold up. Pete's power is to read minds. Back in the past, back to back with Kenta... Pete knew Kenta wanted to kiss him. And he turned around so it happened

Additionally, during the fight with the knife, Kenta was thinking back to that moment. And Pete knew.

[spookymulder01]

Horrible things happening in the groupchat today.

Bonus:

[lord-m]

Things Colin will have to grapple with in Part 2:

- his wife is Lady Whistledown and has used her connections to his family for both ill and good

- his wife planned on keeping her secret from him, even after the wedding

- Penelope has a clear purpose in her life, and he has not (or at least a purpose that isn’t solely his wife)

- she will not give up her purpose, even for him (I don’t know if show!Colin will even ask her to, except for her own safety)

- she has and continues to endanger herself on a daily basis

- he now shares one of London‘s biggest secrets and is responsible for keeping it that way, even from his family perhaps

- she is a prolific writer, and he does not hold his own writing in high esteem. Some jealousy for her talent will surely play a role

[stawpny]

I’m bored and ao3 is kinda dry (atleast for the wttt ny tag)

so here are some NY ships I NEED to see more of 🙏

—

MassYork: ok, I used to be almost totally opposed to this, seeing them having more of a brotherly relationship but with history n stuff it’s kinda not possible. But anyway, probably my main ship for now, bc OHMYGOD “nobody can kill you but me”? GET OUT, GET MARRIED, PLEASE.

like if it’s Mass/Cali/York or Mass/Jersey/York I will eat it up.

no questions, it is already in my mouth. I am eating the fuck outta this.

GeoYork: in my mind they have a cute dynamic. I feel they would be best friends as younger colonies and then have a very complicated relationship until they finally get together. Slowburn kinda, also kinda they have been in relationships dozens of times but something always happens. and isn’t Georgia called the “Empire State of the South”? or am I just hearing things

peach + apple? cobbler + pie? idek but I love them

TexYork: guys pls. southern gentleman and city boy? literally perfect for each other. they would make fun of each other endlessly. accents, vocabulary, actions, plus so much more because they’re very different.

TX taking York to his ranch to meet bro’s cows??? yes please. I’d like to meet Betsy too .

^TexaCaliYork: also a fire ship (see what I did there?) like the ship above, but with the hipster in it aswell. Texas and Cal constantly bicker like children and York sorts it out like a teacher would.

NY: you hurt his feelin’s, go apologize.

TX, scoffing: fine, but don’t expect me to get along with him after.

(spoiler alert!! York forces them into a cuddle pile afterwards to get over there lifelong beef)

IlliYork: they’re enemies, they’re lovers, the whole kit-and-caboodle. they’d switch hats sometimes and hold each others hand when they’re in their cities. they’re idiots and the Midwest and the Northeast hate them for it. It’s kinda gross but in a good way.

they’d be the couple who like hold hands in public but not make a single move other than that to show that they love the other. absolutely no kissing in public, they would just sit there in silence with a death grip on the other’s hand. they would totally insult each other to the face and then say, “Love you, tho.”

FloYork: fun fact: they are absolutely insane together. They influence each other and constantly say stupid shit. Florida would force York outta his comfort zone from time to time but the inner extrovert masked by New York’s fake introvert personality will do it almost willingly. he puts up a “fight” but he would deadass do it bc he thinks this shit is hilarious.

NY would be a little like Florida even if they weren’t dating. like NYC is absolutely batshit so that would mean York would have to be a little too.

NY/CA/TX/FL/LA: little crazy, ik, but I remember reading fics abt these five (including gov, but I’m still questioning if he would be in here or not) and absolutely devouring them. spectacular ship. it’s like a little bit of everything, except the Midwest and the other western states, but almost everything. I would love to see more of them.

they would def fight over each other. (who got to hold hands with who, who got to sleep/cuddle with who, etc.)

—

I’m not forcing you to give into my opinions, but if u like these, I like you 😼

some of these hc’s are not entirely mine, some were influenced, tho most are from the rotting part of my brain

I hope u use these ships in the future or I might spontaneously combust

(spoiler alert 2!! I will still explode [out of love] if u write about them)

ily guys

[ascendingtostardust]

someone help me

[bradshawsbitch]

[menanceofacookie]

This is a very rough sketch and I have a very bad writing skill

I'm sorry If you can't read the words, I'm gonna name it from the top left to right

Sou Hiyori, Kanade Yoisaki/Yoisaki Kanade, Stele, Russell Seager, Pigula, Karakoro, Wadanohara, Madotsuki, Sara Chindouin, Hatsune Miku, Corme, and Zoya

All of them are from their perspective owners

[desi-yearning]

Every 19th November has its 29th June.

Bittersweet. That’s the word I had been using to describe the ODI World Cup 2023. I'd use the same to describe this T20 World Cup 2024 too. But for reasons that are poles apart.

Very few people would know and understand how much this win means to me. 19th November has done some irreparable damage, I’ve had breakdowns for months about this, wrote poems that’ll never see the light (or you’ll never know it was written about this), but most importantly, I had given up hope, completely. This one compares nothing to that world cup but this brought back the hope to me that life won’t be as good as I want it to be, but maybe it won’t be as bad as I thought it would be.

I’ve grown up. I turned 18 this month and I also had to begin saying goodbye to my hero. From defending Virat in classrooms, carrying his pictures in my bag to defending Virat on online platforms yesterday and having a poster of him in my room, I’ve come a long way with him as an idol. I know that he is going to play the other formats but this is the beginning of a series of goodbyes. I’m not ready for this. I don’t think I’ll ever be too. I love him beyond expression.

Rohit. I still do not get how people who like Virat do not like Rohit. How can you *not* like Rohit? Rohit had been one of the players I liked previously but when cricket came back to me after a few years, he came back to me stronger. Rohit started to mean so much to me especially after seeing him embrace his ‘Bhaiya’ role in the best way possible. I’ve written so much about him in the last few months, maybe more than I’ve ever written about Virat. I love him so much.

Jasprit Bumrah. The only God I believe in. The game changer. The point of difference. I could write an entire book about how amazing he is and that'll still be less. That man is the sole reason behind me starting to watch the bowling innings too. And now, I'll gladly admit that I enjoy the bowling innings more than the batting one. All because of one man, the man, the myth, the legend.

So many moments yesterday that brought me tears but nothing compares to seeing Hardik cry and talk about it all. I'm so proud to have never trolled that man for whatever has happened, it's a flex to say that I've defended him during that time. People put him through so much and I think he was the one of the people who deserved this win the most. He's a gem.

I could go on and write paras about every single one in this team. All of them are phenomenal and like Rohit and Rahul say, they played their roles exceptionally well. How Sky’s catch changed the winning probability, Arshdeep’s last over, Axar’s contribution with the bat, Kuldeep throughout the tournament. I couldn't be anymore grateful to this team for making this day possible.

It was an insane game. One of the greatest comebacks ever. I’m glad to have never stopped believing in this team. They’ve done what felt impossible at one point. This is a story I’ll tell people for generations to come. I feel so blessed to be supporting and cheering for a team like this and having the good fortune of having watched it live on a screen. I’ll never shut up about this. I’ve witnessed history.

This was my first world cup win ever since the time I started watching cricket. I still don’t think there was a specific someone who got me into cricket, this game just happened to me. And I’m so glad it did because I cannot imagine my life without cricket playing one of the biggest parts in it. Most of my best and worst memories are from watching cricket. If I had to divide my life into phases, it'd always be using cricket. Thank you Team India for all these memories. I will love you forever.

This one’s for my Tumblr people. I love each and every single one of you all so much. I was watching the match all alone in my room but yet I felt like I was celebrating with everyone else with all the live-blogging that we did. Celebrating with people is still a big dream for me as I always watch the matches alone and no one in my house really cares. But you guys made it possible, partially at least. I don’t think I’d have enjoyed the match as much as I did if not for you, my dear Tumblr mutuals. So, a big thank you to you too! <3

Love, A.

[ali-da-demon]

chat what?

I think I might be gender fluid. It seems right. Sometimes I heavily want to look like a pretty girl, then other times I want to look just like my older brother. Then other times I want to be a rotting walking corpse. Also came to this conclusion bc I like it when people say/use he/him pronouns (I really like it and I found it weird that I did at first) and I don’t really mind people using they/them pronouns (my school father usually used they/them pronouns for me)

would appreciate it if any of y’all would use he/him, and they/them pronouns along with she/her whenever y’all feel like it :)

sorry if this is a lot, you don’t have to do anything for this if you don’t want to and only use she/her pronouns for me if you rather do that.

[goldenpinof]

they had me in a chokehold for 5 years, i'm sorry but y'all will have to deal with my breakdown

[redbaretta]

Reita, sweet birb and bassist of the GazettE 🦜💛 you were gone too soon. I haven’t even got to see you yet. My heart is broken.

[tllgrrl]

HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME X-MEN WAS ALL THIS?!?!?

[triflesandparsnips]

(eta 10/10/23: Having just realized that this is now a very easy to google explainer, please also see the full end-of-game roundup here: "when something is definitely not a game, but most definitely a gift" or my related #definitely not a game tag. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nonsense, currently in progress.)

So... so.

So this just dropped.

And listen. LISTEN. For people who haven't been following this Our Flag Means Death-related alternate-reality-shenanigan fest, the following will make no sense to you-- or, wait, fuck it--

A Brief History of the Javid Denkins Alternate-Reality Game

(I didn't intend "overly long essays about in-depth fandom-related shenanigans" to be my brand, but by god I'm here now and I will make us all suffer through it.)

Reality (As We Know It)

Established and verified gay pirate showrunner David Jenkins is a regular shenanigineer on twitter: retweets fanart, retweets cosplays, calls fans sluts (endearment), has ongoing fight with medieval cats.

Back in 2022, David Jenkins implied heavily that he had joined tumblr, but did not cough up his account name.

This is the sum total of real and actual events and identities.

Through the Looking Glass

Fans started looking for David Jenkins's tumblr. What fans found is the tumblr of one Javid Denkins, who appeared to be new, had a variant of Jenkins's twitter icon, and seemed to be cheekily maintaining an incognito by steadfastly asserting that he is definitely not David Jenkins.

Fans got weird about it, because that is the nature of fandom. I said something about it here, because I have Feelings about the Rules of Incognito and also about Not Being Weird About People Who Make the Content We Like. I put it as a reblog to the post, as per regular tumblring, no response requested/required because babes, if I'm going to be perceived, I want it to be organic. (ahem... FOOTNOTE 1)

I kept a cursory eye on things, because it can be Really Lonely to be a famous person who just wants to have a regular online experience, and if that's what whoever was on the other end wanted, then that's what they should get to have imo. Unlike a regular tumblr that I might reply to directly or engage with on a same-level kinda way, I let them set the rules of engagement because unless/until they came clean, they would always be Schrodinger's Showrunner to me, and therefore subject to my internal Don't Be Creepy ruleset.

My second Javid reblog was pretty much what I would do to any other newbie tumblr person (as they professed to be): adding on to a gag by referencing the "color of the sky" meme and also a seagull, for OFMD-related reasons (which fit within the ruleset, because Javid was actively connecting himself with OFMD type things). And Javid reblogged it, so hey, I was winning at tumblr interactions, a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

Time passed. Javid dropped (what will be revealed to be the first of many) photo manipulations. (FOOTNOTE 2)

On the same day, Javid posted what looked like an accidental smashkey. I reblogged with a seagull, because again, established rules of engagement and me winning at tumblr interactions. He reblogged himself, though, with what looked like another smashkey, but was actually a goddamn Caesar cipher-- and started using the tag #definitely not a game.

From there, Javid started up a stream of fairly fun puzzles. I didn't keep up with it fully, but since it looked like Javid wanted people to interact, I interacted (while trying to ensure that other people could keep having fun too). He also started subtly changing his icon, his tumblr header, etc., expanding the bounds of the puzzle space, as it were. (And if you want a complete rundown of the puzzle history and the associated answers, this twitter thread is enormous and thorough, thank you @eefaevie.)

The seagull made an appearance every once in a while; I threw together various season 2 bingo cards in response to these potential spoilers; I spent my time largely keeping back so I could eat popcorn and Not Be Creepy. But... but.

The thing was, Javid's method of posting (in a "heeeere fishy fishy fishy" manner) seemed, to me, to be the actions of someone trying to play with the audience and/or provide enrichment for the enclosure. So after some thought and, again, remembering the loneliness of being a Creative Person but trying to be mindful that this person was still incognito and could be the actual dude, I started using the seagull to reblog extra content, links, whathaveyou, with the tag #enrichment can go in BOTH enclosures-- with the idea that, if Javid wanted to look, he had the option to do so-- and if he did, he'd be rewarded with, again, no demands on him or his attention, but just: some content. Some enrichment. Some fun. A "picking up what you're putting down" kind of vibe from one person to another, both of whom are, at the very least, interested in communicating with an audience.

To be clear: For me, at the end of the day, it had to be a choice. I needed to provide room for Javid to choose to enter the magic circle of my additional game play-- but I also wasn't going to hold my breath about it. This was Javid's space, with intentions and purposes I had no way of knowing (nor should I)-- I was just, metaphorically, bringing another set of dice and maybe some graph paper with an extra room drawn on it that he could easily enter if he wanted, to play in a space intended to complement his. He was putting in a shitton of labor for what was essentially just a gift; I wanted to show appreciation for that labor, while putting in some of my own to gift back.

So when the first round of puzzles ended, and a new one began, I linked the answers to one of his anagram puzzles inside some seagull gifs-- but I figured, why not add something extra? I used his pigpen cipher to dare him to use a book code next. To even see the dare he'd have to want to decode the gifs-- and if he ultimately didn't want to engage, no skin off my nose. (That's why there's a border around the magic circle with clear entrances and exits.) Either way, I was having a nice time.

The next puzzle type was a stereogram. (Neat.) The puzzle after that, though? I get tagged and informed that Javid has, in fact, posted a motherfucking book code. (FOOTNOTE 3)

Enter the Thunder Parasocial Dome

This is the point where I first have to be pulled down from the curtains by rational people who have only my best interests at heart.

(Having a whole Thesis Statement about why I was engaging with Schrodinger's Showrunner is one thing. Having possible evidence that my engagement was, like, actually engaged with is quite another.)

By sweet and loving friends and family I was reminded that:

Other people are, in fact, allowed to be clever about things too.

That all sorts of pre-planning may have gone into all this, and that therefore the timing was a coincidence.

That there are a limited number of easily accessible ciphers out there, so the code type could also be a coincidence.

And that either way I still have my important Don't Be Creepy code of ethics.

So. I took a deep breath. Cool. I was totally and absolutely cool about this.

...And in a totally normal manner I proceeded to lay an elaborate trap.

AHAHAHA JUST JOKING what I mean is: I replied to the tagged post, acknowledging that the sphere of potential puzzling had now expanded beyond tumblr. I used Javid's own fake-link trick to link to a seagull laugh. And in the tags I threw in a lot of potential internet-related alternate reality stuff.

But also, crucially... some more ideas for Javid to use. (FOOTNOTE 4) If he wanted them. If he was actually looking.

Since I was now playing In Earnest, I spent some time putting together a youtube channel, an alternate tumblr, a neocities account -- a whole new field of play, if Javid wanted to engage there. I pulled out the dusty memories of a Yuletide fic I wrote several years ago that used similar shenanigans to tell an interactive fiction story about Monty Python. (Hilariously enough, my first RPF.) I continued to play with all these new and fascinating toys.

A Strange Ship on the Horizon

What with one thing and another three years pass, a Javid puzzle eventually lead to an AO3 account-- which to me definitively opened Schrodinger's box: maybe this was a member of the production playing with fire, more likely it was a clever fan whose brain is fucking fascinating, but it most definitely was not David Jenkins.

But. Javid was still in incognito. And I still don't know if I had been perceived.

I read the fic the Javid account is writing (which is still a work in progress and pretty great ngl)-- it's a fandom AU, where Ed and Stede are fans of a gay pirate romcom called Blow the Man Down, featuring Sam Bellamy and Olivier Levasseur. The showrunner is named Javid, who doesn't have social media but gets cornered into agreeing to join twitter (rather than our universe's tumblr). And Ed decides, on a lark, to start a fake twitter account, tag it #definitelynotjaviddenkins... and then freak out because a large contingent of fandom shows up on his metaphorical doorstep saying HELLO, JAVID.

As if this weren't enough: beyond the fic itself, suddenly a whole multimedia alternate universe suddenly appeared, with multiple twitter and AO3 accounts beyond just Stede and Ed, forming an entire fucking fandom, Goncharov-style, around Blow the Man Down. It was and continues to be fucking wild. It's also amazing. And the porn is surprisingly approachable. (BUT SEE AGAIN FOOTNOTE 1)

Grappling Hooks Breaching the Parasocial Divide

The thing is, though. The thing. That is.

I have officially reached Level 2 Curtain Clawing.

As I read the fic and the accompanying universe, I started to. Notice things.

References to soap (but... but surely that's normal. Many people talk about soap, not just amateur history enthusiasts like myself).

References to obscure scents (LABDANUM. Someone referenced labda-motherfucking-num. But surely. Surely it is not an entirely unheard of thing; I am not the first person to discover it or the fact that it gets combed from goats jesus christ the goat thing I forgot about that--)

References to the drilled coin from the wreck of Sam Bellamy's ship, which appeared as a random bit of possible future lore for Javid in this bit of enrichment (but I put in lots of possible lore! I had a whole thing going about figureheads! Bad luck to kill a seabird! I had a whole thing for a while where I thought maybe the digraph code Javid was hinting at was actually a Playfair cipher! I have been wrong many times before and added lots of random possible narratives. SO SURELY THE COIN IS A COINCIDENCE).

References to... okay not really references, and I've never articulated it quite like this (though this is definitely my vibe), but references to the idea of these puzzles and enrichment being a conversation in and of themselves, held at a remove and existing entirely in call (Javid) and response (the audience).

Finally... I started to notice that Stede decodes/interprets Ed-as-Javid's puzzles in a long twitter thread (like... like the one linked above) but also... sends back puzzles. Like, well, me.

"But STILL," I screech from the top of the curtain rail. "This could ALL BE COINCIDENCE," I yowl as friends and family try to bat me down with a broom. Even, by god, today's drop... which uses a password-protected url shortener. The exact same one I used in an earlier enrichment. But! It's not like there are a lot of those! Maybe this was just the first one that cropped up for Javid, just as it was the first that cropped up for me! (BUT THEN AGAIN, MAY I REFER YOU BACK TO FOOTNOTE 4)

The fic is at chapter 14. There are, if AO3 is to be believed, 7 more chapters to go, plus who knows how much additional extra-universe material. There is so. much. here.

...And so many more opportunities to climb all the curtains.

“It's a great huge game of chess that's being played—all over the world—if this is the world at all, you know.”

So at this point... what, in fact, is happening?

I'm inside a Schrodinger's box whose sides are entirely composed of parasocial uncertainty.

Maybe Javid is here. (HELLO, JAVID.)

Maybe he isn't! (HELLO, THE MIRROR IN MY ENCLOSURE.)

Maybe I'm not actually being referenced at all, but the writer of that twitter thead, @eefaevie, is (HI EEFAEVIE WHAT'S UP HOW'S THE PARASOCIAL AIR IN YOUR ENCLOSURE DOIN')

I don't know. I can't know. Unless someone opens the box.

and my god, what if they never do?

tl;dr. This is the most enriching fun I've had in months, and if the magic circle is going to widen to include me, then friend, I intend to BRING MY A-GAME.

---

FOOTNOTES

1. During the course of that mini-essay, I say the following:

"If it's someone who is not the dude but just a tumblrite who managed to catch on really quick? Well goddamn, good for them, and also A+ Wink-Nudge acrobatics. Real dude can have a peaceful time reading critical analyses of Goncharov, Javid here can quietly start introducing strange lore and running gags and other fun-with-plausible-deniability shenanigans".

One day later Javid starts answering questions about characters with enigmatic season 2 spoilery things; a little less than ten days later, we get the first fake link (which, imo, is the real start of the game).

2. This is now only 24 days after my "strange lore and fun with plausible deniability" post.

3. My dare: January 26. Javid's book code: February 4.

4. My tags on the post wherein I acknowledge that the dare has, possibly, been taken up, read: #you know what's cool? besides how #enrichment can go in BOTH enclosures #is how much you can do with html #like sure sure we've all seen the embedded links #but I remember the days of hidden source code messages #websites with delayed redirects #passwords hidden on one site to open the locked contents of another #you know #~normal things~ #I'm certain none of this will become relevant #because this is #definitely not a game

[laineystein]

Came for Selichot. Stayed because I’m tired.

Anyone else awake? How’s everyone doing? Anyone else just trying to keep it together but a weird mix of sad and angry?

My heart hurts.