#THIS 👏🏼 SCENE 👏🏼 GUYS 👏🏼

[urlocal-limitesshbic]

*.˗ˏˋ Use DEILD to enter the void in secondsˎ˗.*

~featuring a lucid dreamer’s unintended success story I found on YouTube~

Incoming Topics..

*PART 1 <RECAP: What is Deild? >*

*PART 2 < The success story >*

*PART 3 < How to use DEILD for the Void >*

*PART I < What is the DEILD method? > *

If you haven’t read my original post on DEILD I have linked it down below towards the end of this one. I recommend checking it out for an in depth tutorial on the method, but I’ll give a quick explanation here as well-

To put it simply, it is a technique that is traditionally used to get fast and easy lucid dreams. Upon waking you lie still and keep your eyes closed, tricking your body into thinking that you never woke up and then within seconds the dream reforms except now you’re aware in it! You can also create a new dream or you might enter a false awakening which becomes a lucid dream. This method works SO QUICKLY it’s seriously like a LD method shortcut!

I’ve heard of lucid dreamers talking about the void before but after watching a YouTubers video about a lucid dream he had, I realized he actually used the DEILD technique to go straight to the void in SECONDS, unintentionally! Which is something I hadn’t thought about doing before-merging the lucid dream technique WITH 👏🏼 THE VOID 👏🏼 TECHNIQUES!! 👏🏼 So for those of you attempting to enter the void state from a lucid dream, this can be used as a SHORTCUT on top of a SHORTCUT! 🙌🏼 Yes ma’ammmm y’all seriously need to come try this one out because when I say SECONDS I’m talking secondsss-no more waiting 20 minutes for your left brain to turn off, no more long breath work exercises or reality checks or hours of lying still, affirming, no more battling with creating portals-the void can be EFFORTLESS and induced in under a minute.

*PART 2 < The lucid dreamer’s success story> *

There’s this lucid dreamer on YouTube called TIGER123 who posts about lucid dreaming techniques and his own lucid dream experiences- he actually has a video tutorial on DEILD as well (which is linked in my OG DEILD post)

So, I was at work looking for something to watch and saw he posted a new video about a lucid dream he had recently. Well, I can tell you wasn’t expecting him to literally open the video by talking about how he woke up from a regular dream, realized it was the perfect opportunity to perform DEILD and get lucid, and then. AS HE’S PERFORMING DEILD. He enters the void! Just like that. While he was in the void he visualized the dream scene he wanted to be in and he said he was there within 10 seconds. Aka he instantly manifested entering the exact lucid dream he wanted to be in, from the void state.

This is someone who doesn’t believe in shifting or astral projection, wasn’t trying to enter the void, thinks the void is just an unformed lucid dream space that can be used to form a new lucid dream, doesn’t know you can manifest from that state and yet STILL got in and STILL manifested. Since he viewed the void as a place he can form a new lucid dream thats what he did. He still manifested instantly, he just MANIFESTED going from the VS to being in a lucid dream. This should just go to show you guys how REAL the void state is, because someone who doesn’t even know about it and wasn’t trying to get in STILL did it. (SO CAN YOU btw)

The void isn’t a concept created on tumblr. Lucid dreamers have experienced it for years, meditators experience it, yogis, followers of Neville Goddard and multiple religious practices do too; It’s just called by different names and defined differently, but all the experiences describe the same thing. So if tumblr success stories aren’t trustworthy enough to you, or motivating enough-expand your research and find hundreds of stories similar to this one-lucid dreamers thinking it’s just an unformed dream and yogis thinking it’s just a really relaxing deep meditative state etc…

*PART 3< How To Use DEILD to enter the VS> *

I linked the video at the bottom, he doesn’t really talk about the void much or deild because the video is about the actual contents of the dream he had, but the part he does talk about it is right at the beginning, the first 30 seconds or so, if you’re curious in checking it out but this is pretty much what he said about it, written out-

“First I was in a space dream and then I woke up and kind of realized I had just woken up from a dream and was able to stay still and kind of reenter into it and fall back asleep and I ended up in the void. You know that like complete blackness where it’s really easy to reform the dream and since I was there I figured I would just try to go to the beach because when I’m in this void state I can really go anywhere I want. I just reformed the beach and I ended up on the exact beach I was imagining in like 10 seconds.”

So boom. Thats’s it thats ALL. That simple. So here’s the exact steps to do if you want to enter the void through DEILD too and be the next success story:

Before bed: affirm “I will remember to stay still upon awakening. I will effortlessly enter the void using DEILD” or some variation of this (optional)

Visualize yourself waking up, staying still, and entering the void state (optional)

Go to sleep, with the calm certainty that this will work.

Wake up. Keep your eyes closed and lie still

You can keep a blank mind and wait, trusting that your subconscious will induce the void automatically, since you already set the intention the night before

5a. Or right after waking, with your eyes closed you can begin affirming that you are pure consciousnes and imagine yourself already in the void, or imagine yourself sinking gently down into the void state until you are truly there. This method is so effective you should be in the state within a minute or less.

And remember, the void state can’t be forced, just like sleep can’t be forced. All you can do is create the right conditions for it to occur naturally. It’s okay if you don’t get it right away. Focus on trust, not control. Avoid over analyzing whether it’s working while you’re performing the technique, just allow it to flow and happen. You saw he just literally lied still waiting for the dream to form and then he was in. It’s that effortless. Give it a go and report back in the comments 🫶🏼 Happy enteringgg

[astrobydalia]

🍂Cozy observations 🎃

Itssss fall you guys!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 It’s actually super hot still where I live but that won’t stop me from living my cozy era. Anyways, I want to avoid collecting posts on my drafts for centuries so here’s more general observations!

work by astrobydalia

🍂Aquarius placements are simultaneously the most understanding and empathetic people ever and the biggest assholes out there. I don't know how they pull that contradiction off but it's true (I mean this in the best way possible btw)

Moreover, I’ve noticed Aquarius placements are way more appreciative of kindness and social harmony than Libra tbh. Libra's desire for harmony can be just for the sake of keeping appearances but they are actually very judgmental. Aquarius on the other hand tend to appreciate authenticity and have a “live and let live” philosophy where they accept people unconditionally that’s why they attract popularity. Underdeveloped Aquarius tho do have a tendency to break social harmony due to pick-me behavior

🍂 Cardinal moons are serial daters. I swear every person I’ve met who had a rather active love life or were always crushing on someone was more often than on Cardinal moon

Also, Cardinal moons are always very dominant people even when don’t intend to be. They have a very summoning aura/personality that just demands engagement. They also tend to be social butterflies, even when they’re introverted they always end up surrounded by people somehow

🍂 I like to think Pisces is the final movie while Virgo is all the behind the scenes and editing

🍂I've seen this endless times where people with Mars in Libra or 7th house always end up either in law or business (mostly creating their own business, freelancers, entrepreneurs, etc)

🍂Any Venusian influence on the MC/10th house/6th house indicates a career or job where you’re required to dress up and appear very put together, having a certain aesthetic can be important in your career

🍂Saturn square or opposite MC/10th house ruler indicates the native was forced into a career they never chose/wanted in the first place or they had to wait a long time to finally have the opportunity to pursue their ideal career OR the path towards the career they chose could have been harder/more unfulfilling than they expected

🍂 I also like to think Taurus stops to smell the flowers and creates a flower bed for herself. Virgo studies the flowers and learns all about photosynthesis and shit. Capricorn creates a flower business and monopolizes the flower market

🍂 Those with Mars influence on their moon (Moon-Mars aspects, Aries/Scorpio moon) are really good at throwing shade but they’re unable to take it themselves. They don’t like to feel called out.

🍂 Mars in the 12th house people will 👏🏼hold 👏🏼 grudges 👏🏼

🍂 To be quite honest with you, every single Virgo sun I’ve met had a very standoffish personality.

🍂 Saturn retrograde individuals raised themselves. That’s why this placement is known to have issues with authority and discipline because their parents didn’t really parent them at all, so they had to set their own boundaries, rules and systems to navigate life. Getting their life together and materializing their ambitions could take extra effort for them

🍂 I usually like Capricorn Moons cause I always find that they are very loyal to everyone (friends, family, partner, etc) but honestly they are not as emotionally mature as you might think. They have a really hard time moving on from the past to the point where they can stay stuck in their wounded child self and spend a big chunk of their lives trying to overcompensate this with work, productivity and success. Tendency to depression, low emotional intelligence and being emotionally stunted. Deep down they feel like the victim of their own story

🍂 Aquarius sun+Scorpio moon: I’ve met quite a few people with this combo and with all of them I’ve noticed they always have a cult leader kinda mentality towards their friendships and connections (might apply to Aquarius+Scorpio combos in general). You’re either with them or against them. If you're not a follower they’ll hit you with the "cool kids table" attitude

🍂 My mom has Mercury in the 4th house and she once said "I don't mind moving abroad but I can't live in a place where people don't speak my native language. I need to hear my native language"

🍂 When it’s said that Venus in the 1st house people know how to make themselves look good it doesn’t mean just physically. The know how to present themselves as a more virtuous person than they actually are...

🍂Mutable risings, Mars in a mutable sign/house: their motto is “work smarter not harder”. Their first instinct will always be to find a way around challenges and difficulties. They usually aren’t the most action oriented people, but they are cunning. Their way to success is basically beating the system to make things easier for themselves.

🍂I can easily recognize Taurus Sun because they always ooze BDE. Also they always tend to have very rugged and bold physique/features

🍂From what I've seen Gemini Venus is a placement that easily makes someone stereotypically extroverted. Golden retriever energy

🍂Has anyone else noticed that succedent houses (aka fixed houses) are all related to money and wealth in some way?

2nd house: your resources, what spend your money on 5th house: gamble 8th house: shared resources, investments and debt 11th house: production of wealth

🍂All Gemini and Cancer risings I’ve met had some sort of hypersensitivity to stimuli. Gemini rising is more mental; anxiety, overthinking, information overload, etc they easily get triggered by immediate stimuli, specially noise around them. For Cancer risings this manifests more in the senses (photosensitivity, very sensitive to smells, flavors, etc) and heightened intuition just like Spiderman with spider-sense

🍂I’m sorry but why are Cancer Mercuries so elusive in their communication??? Everything they say has this "well, maybe. I don't know" or "I guess" undertone to it, they never openly say what they really mean. They are good listeners tho

🍂Underdeveloped Taurus placements feel entitled to use and dispose of people to benefit themselves. Tend to be very selfish and stingy. They do something for you they'll hang it over your head forever and act like they have ownership over you. You do something for them, they owe you nothing.

🍂Pisces Moons grew up in their own little bubble. It's very likely they missed out on 'normal' mundane experiences and this makes them feel very separated from the rest of the world and the rest of the people which is why they often come off as clueless and disconnected. They often give off the impression they've been living under a rock or a parallel universe. A perfect example of this is when Kim Kardashian said she's never been to a grocery store💀

Every single Pisces moon I’ve met never ever wanted to have kids and if they do have them they tend to not be too present in their kids’ lives. The harsh truth is pisces moons are not reliable, generally they are the ones who want to be saved and cared for

🍂I've noticed earth Venus and Venus-Saturn aspects are a little bit too good at showing contempt. To some degree they always remind me of Disgust from the Inside Out movie 😂

🍂 When I see Moon-Saturn conjunction in a chart I flinch a little tbh cause idk what’s worse the fact that their mothers couldn’t be bothered to give the native any sort of emotional comfort or the fact that these natives have normalized conditional love as the only kind of love possible. I've also noticed they grew up with strong authoritarian values and were never allowed to question hierarchies or status

Also, natives with Moon-Saturn conjunction are extremely shady people if you ask me. It's true they are insanely observant but what people don't seem to notice is that they are observant in a Joe Goldberg or Light Yagami kind of way without the murder They do be having inner monologues like that. They come across as calm, intelligent, respectful and trusted. Can use emotional expression (theirs and others') in strategic ways to influence others. Big tendency towards materialistic, utilitarian and/or elitist mindset too. I can't quite put my finger on it but I've met a lot of people with this aspect and the deeper I dig the more I keep feeling something very dark and/or disingenuous about them

🍂Venus square Neptune people and their lack of self-respect… 🙁

🍂Aquarius Moons always give off the impression of having a rather lazy or passive personality. I'm not talking about their productivity but the fact that they seem to always have a "meh" attitude towards everything to the point where they can feel a bit disconnected similar to pisces moon

🍂Virgo risings often have freelance jobs due to Aquarius ruling their 6th house

🍂People with Industria rx (389) may actually dislike their work environment even if they like their job. I’ve noticed they often find the industry they work in to be toxic, depleting or too demanding

🍂Enterprise rx (9777) might always feel unsatisfied with their position, they might be the type to always want more and more

🍂 Aries Moon women and always attracting very immature and selfish men omg I've seen this time and time again

🍂 Scorpio moon/Moon 8th house is an underrated wealth indicator imo. I've noticed they always have a "from rags to riches" kinda life story. They however often face issues with fraud or debt along the way cause they have a tendency to take huge financial risks

🍂 you ever heard about the crabs in a bucket phenomenon? Well Ive actually observed underdeveloped 4th house placements do tend to have this kind of clingy and envious behavior particularly towards people that are really close to them. You can also experience this with people you have 4th house Synastry with; you get too attached to the comfort zone they provide to the point where they stifle your growth

🍂Pisces placements 🤝 falling for people who are bluntly abusive, controlling and narcissistic. They want to believe they’re living a beauty and the beast love story when in reality they’re trauma bonding

🍂Libra/Taurus Mars people ARE problematic and petty as fuck, they’re just good at the social game and making it look like they didn't do anything. Underdeveloped Venus energy is the opposite of peaceful, it gives major mean girl vibes and Mars being debilitated in these signs easily brings out this hostile side of Venus. The type to passively instigate drama just to make themselves look better. Very hypocritical

🍂What natives with Saturn in Taurus will consider first when choosing a career is make sure that it is well payed and gives them financial status. Other factors come second

🍂Fixed+cardinal combo in the luminaries is hands down the best sun-moon combo I've seen tbh (specially fixed sun+cardinal moon), they're a force to be reckoned with. Very charismatic, outspoken and confident people with healthy ego if developed. Most people I've met with this combo were very extroverted and/or excellent leaders

🍂Sagittarius placements 🤝 this pose 😜✌🏼

🍂Libra/7th house Lilith have a tendency to judge a book by its cover all the time

🍂I've noticed Pisces MC/10th house natives aren't very ambitious. They seem to not really care about things like self-development or being on top. From what I've seen they mostly aspire to have a pleasant and glamurous life that frees them form real life mundane worries and could desire to retire as early as possible. In some cases I've seen they could want a "princess" kinda lifestyle where they literally have no responsibilities. They want a career that liberates them from any pressure of achieving material expectations and allows them to just go brain dead all the time following a higher power/inspiration/knowledge. That's why many artists have this placements and I've also seen cases of Pisces MC people who wanted to be nuns and nurses. I've noticed that when they genuinely don't care about recieving recognition or achievements but rather do things bc it aligns with their soul that's when they become successful

����Scorpio placements have a tendency to be very cynical I've noticed, specially mercury and mars

🍂Gemini/3rd house Lilith can spot lies from miles away and will not be sacred to call it out

🍂As per my observation the water sign that gets idolized the most is not Pisces but Cancer 100%. Yes Pisces does get idolized but I’ve noticed that’s actually very short-lived, people tend to switch up on them SO fast cause they project a deeply unrealistic image on them and eventually fall off the pedestal. Cancer placements on the other hand are not infantized like Pisces, they are consistently very sought after people I’ve observed. They always come across as emotionally reliable even when they’re not, people always go soft for them while simultaneously respecting them so they’re always seen as perfect,kind,charming,etc. Their personality naturally portrays an energy of unconditional love and understanding so people easily get obsessed and addicted to them

🍂I always find that Pisces Venus natives have a very whimsical and juvenile personality. They also have a very extravagant taste they may like anything with bright colors, glittery shiny stuff, squishy toys, etc. they have a tendency to be a bit tacky and corny I’ve noticed

🍂Every fixed moon I've seen avoided any sort of emotional rehabilitation like the plague unless it’s strictly necessary. They believe no one can begin to understand them better than themselves and they got it all figured out already. Now this is more my opinion but I feel like they low-key underestimate the amount of healing they actually need to do cause they really struggle taking emotional accountability. They have a tendency to act like their needs and feelings justify everything so there's not much to "fix" or heal

🍂People who have at least 2 out of their big 3 in cardinal signs are often seen as the golden girl/boy

🍂Capricorn/Virgo moons will be literally the best at what they do and make it seem so effortless. If you ask them how they got so successful they'll be like "idk I guess I just practiced a lot"

🍂I’ve noticed your 8th house sign(s) represent themes that people are consistently using against you as the fastest way to tear you down, so you always end up feeling powerless here at some point. That’s why you tend to resent this energy and have toxic dynamics with people who have their planets here. This house is literally the death of you (8th from 1st), but it can also be the source of your empowerment once you claim this energy so it's best that you keep this house to yourself as much as possible. Some examples:

Gemini 8th house: using what you say against you. you could have a hard time with people believing your words, what you say is always scandalous and/or rubs people the wrong way. Gossip or information that makes you look bad. People always think you’re lying or deceiving or have ulterior motives Cancer 8th house: you could struggle with getting sympathy and emotional support from people. Others think you’re just being vulnerable and complaining for clout. Any display of emotion or care will be seen as manipulative. People trying to break or ruin your relationship with your family or closed ones Capricorn 8th house: you struggle with people respecting you, others don't take you seriously and don't see you as a valid authority. Any attempt to make yourself respected will be seen as dictatorial or elitist behavior, any desire to succeed will be seen as you being power hungry. People try to dismiss or belittle your achievements

work by astrobydalia

[elgrandeavocados]

Okay, so let's discuss/scream about those first two episodes of ddba...

This post will have spoilers, so if you haven't watched the first two episodes, go watch them now!

Can I start by saying that the long ass wait for this show was sooooooo worth it! The excitement and anticipation for the premiere was agonizing but fun.

Now, those first ten to fifteen minutes... my heart is so so so soooo broken. FOGGY!!!!!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!? MY BABY!!!!!! 😭😭😭

I don't know about you guys, but while watching the beginning (and pretty much the entire episode), I was working overtime to take everything in. The attention to detail was so beautiful. Aaron Moorhead and Justin Benson did an amazing job capturing the essence of New York and its people. You could really feel it jump off the screen!!

Seeing Matt, Karen, and Foggy was such an amazing moment. It's like they never left at all!!! I'm so happy they brought back Deborah and Elden. Also, that conversation they have, reflecting on the old Hell's Kitchen... SUCH A GREAT AND IMPORTANT MOMENT. Loved that they touched on the issue of gentrification happening in their neighborhood. I feel like this is rarely discussed in Marvel (maybe it has been discussed and I'm just not remembering. If it's been mentioned before, someone please tell me!).

Also... JOSIE!!! THEY BROUGHT BACK QUEEN JOSIE!!! LOVED SEEING HER ON MY SCREEN AND STILL TOUGH AS EVER!!

Matt and Karen's little flirtatious banter!!!!!

Listen... I'm a Kastle girly through and through but I'd be a lying idiot if I didn't admit to myself that it was nice to see that there's still a little spark between Matt and Karen!! I just want my babies to be happy!!

Still... would love to see Kastle return and have their own moment as well!!!!

Now... The change in ratio aspect (I think that's what it's called!!) when Matt hears Foggy's conversation outside!!!! THE WAY THAT I GASPED WHEN I SAW THIS!!!! IT GOT ME THINKING OF PETER'S TINGLE WHEN HE SENSES SOMETHING!!! UGH, I LOVED IT SO MUCH! SUCH A CLEVER MOVE AND DECISION TO CHANGE IT TO THIS!!!

Dex... BITCH!! WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!!

I should probably mention this because I forgot to at the beginning of this post, when the episode began, though I was so excited to see everyone and everything, I'm not even lying when I tell you that I was practically holding my breath for the majority of the beginning. I knew deep down that something was gonna go down and I was literally preparing myself. I just knew every time they panned back to Foggy and Karen outside that something was gonna happen in any second and when Dex shot Foggy I was just "GOD DAMMIT!!!!!"

Ok, back to Dex.

DEX!! COUNT YOUR DAYS!!!!!!!

On a side note, Wilson Bethel... YOU KILLED THAT THOUGH!! WHEN HE WALKED INTO THE FRAME OVER TO JOSIE'S... DID YOU ALL WATCH THE WAY HE WALKED??? HE HAD THIS WALK THAT WAS JUST SO BADASS!!! NO ONE DOES IT LIKE WILSON AND HE DESERVES A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!!!

Not only for that but that look he gives in the stairwell while he's fighting Matt!!!!

Those crazy eyes!!!! OH, HE ATE THAT UPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

I think Wilson mentioned in an interview about that moment and how he told the camera operator or maybe the directors (can't remember who!!!) he wanted to try something different and to just get in close to his face... WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA TO BRING TO THAT FIGHT SEQUENCE!!! HE KNOWS HIS CHARACTER AND HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING!!!!

Also speaking of that fight sequence... 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

From the stunt coordinator to the extras, everyone nailed that!!!

You can just tell they worked hard on that scene and it paid off!

When Matt and Dex are fighting on the rooftop...

No! Wait! When they're fighting up the staircase and Matt is hearing Foggy's heartbeat... YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND TODAY ABOUT THIS!!!

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT HE THOUGHT OF THIS IDEA AFTER A FEW DRAFTS?!?!?!? HOW DARE HE!!!! IT'S BRILLIANT BUT HOW DARE YOU CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!!!

No, but that was literally such an amazing idea and I expect to see his name under co-producer next season!!! He and Vincent D'Onofrio!!!!

Speaking of Vincent...

Wilson Fisk!!!!!

I know he's a bad guy but he's so iconic and Vincent has always done such an amazing job portraying him and bringing this character to life

The fact that he's having marital problems with Vanessa... TEAAAAAA!!!

As Matt is going through his own personal loss Fisk is too and in this case, it's his marriage!!! OKAY WRITERS I SEE YOU!!!!

It was very interesting to see that Vanessa took care of the business and I'm so curious to see how that plays out now that Wilson is back. I feel like there will be (if not already) this competition for power between the two of them, especially with how those guys who were sitting at the table with Vanessa responded to her.

Speaking of power... you guys... Fisk running/becoming mayor... the way that I laughed in disbelief at some of the parallels we are currently dealing with U.S. politics!!!!

The young voters (most likely young males) flocking to Fisk and eating up every single thing that he does!!! This is especially true with Daniel!

Also... BB!!! BEN WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU!!!! RIP BEN URICH!!!

Loved that they added the BB report and does anyone know where I can subscribe to support her work because we love a reporter going after the truth and holding those in power accountable!!!!

Heather Glenn... 1) I can't wait to see what they do with her character and what they will keep the same (from the comics) as her relationship with Matt evolves 2) Heather, girl, please drop the hair care routine because those curls!!!!! and 3) NOT HER BEING WILSON AND VANESSA'S COUPLES THERAPIST!!! BITCH THIS IS ABOUT TO GET SO GOOD!!!!!

Kirsten McDuffie... I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND TO MATT AND I WILL PROTECT YOU AT ALL COSTS!!!

also Murdock and McDuffie... are y'all hiring?

also my theory on matt and karen's relationship becoming strained after foggy's death... I HATE BEING RIGHT!!!!! 😭😭 that talk they have after the courtroom!!!

Karen in San Francisco!!!! COME BACK!!!!

"I refuse to believe that a tragedy had to destroy everything." MARVEL GIVE ME A WARNING BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART AGAIN!!!!

also I've been seeing online people complaining about Karen in that scene and saying that she's being unfair... CAN YOU FIGHT?! LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S ENTITLED TO HER EMOTIONS!!!

I'm gonna speed run through this now because my fingers are growing tired

diner scene between matt and fisk OBSESSED. the tension between them was everything and more.

Hector Ayala/White Tiger!!!!!!! HE IS INNOCENT YOUR HONOR!!!!

also rip to Kamar de los Reyes who played him. From what we've gotten to seen of his portrayal he did such a good job.

heather's book signing... a lot of people think that Hunter Doohan is Muse but how funny would it be if it's actually Fisk's right hand Buck Cashman??? Am I the only one who thinks it's suspicious how he looked at heather? Just me?

That scene of Matt outside of the church!!!! He doesn't go inside but stay to listen to the sermon!!! That's what it's called right?? I haven't been to church in years!!!!!

And finally, that final fight!!!! BITCH!

"No, don't do this. Don't do this. You don't want to do this."

MATT!!!!!

I feel like that moment when he's saying all of that, there's this double meaning to it. 1) it's directed to the guys beating him up but most importantly 2) he's directing it to himself and if this is more the case, I AM BOWING DOWN!!

THAT PRIMAL SCREAM AT THE END!!! Matt, honey, you're going through it and that's okay. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BAD GUYS THOUGH!!!!

Some notable highlights before I forget:

Matt carrying around the memorial/prayer card from Foggy's funeral!! The way that I cried!! He keeps him forever at his side, probably right by his heart and that makes me want to jump off a cliff!!!!!!

Chef Matt!!!! The way he was dicing up whatever in the dark!

Which brings me to some little details that had me going 😮

1) Chef Matt of course! 2) Fort Tryon Park mention!! 3) Heather is from Queens! Does anyone know if this is the same in the comics? I only know a little bit about her character

I guess what I'm pointing out here is that, um, hello!!! 'Dissolution' much!! Did these writers get access to my story because the minuscule detail similarities had me grinning and screaming!!!!

This interview with Deborah! 🥹

Spider-Man mention!!!

Cherry!!! I also love you and I will also keep you safe!!!

I feel like I have more but can't really remember right now but I'm sure they will come to me later!

Can't wait for episode three!!!!!!!!!

JUST REMEMBERED: the Punisher tattoo on that cop's wrist!!! another clever detail that they added that mirrors the real world and how cops use the Punisher skull logo!!!! like do they know that the punisher hates their guts and will take them out??????? dumbasses.

SOMETHING ELSE I JUST REMEMBERED: I'm so dumb how could I forget to mention to new opening sequence!!!! The crumbling stone symbolism!!! When it showed the Nelson, Murdock & Page' plaque breaking into pieces I literally screamed but also clapped?????? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!! AND THE REBUILDING OF THE DAREDEVIL STATUE!!! AND THE SCORE!!!! THEY MADE IT NEW BUT ALSO KEPT WHAT WE FANS LOVE FROM THE ORIGINAL ONE!!!!

[littlenicky24]

I'm cheesing way too hard after the new episode of 9-1-1 hahahaha, can't lie I was happy when buck and Tommy broke up. Soooo happy Maddy is pregnant 🤰.

Also, can we talk about the scene of Eddie dancing and singing ❤️😙 love that man, and when buck showed up 😫👏🏼 poor buck but you'll always have Eddie, he always understands buck ❤️

I need buddie to be a thing, the chemistry has been suffocating me since Eddie joined the 118 and pulled a bomb out of a guys leg with buck.

[gauntletgirlie]

Hello! I come with unhinged Adar thought fuel. I've been sharing this with different Adar-centric blogs because if I am haunted by it, you guys have to be too :)

So. In one of the games I play, there is a character who does THIS in a romance scene:

Now. This.

But with Adar.

Hjkhahsjbfjjakbm.

OKAY THEN.

Thank you for sharing @calmlyy-chaotiic.

One, which game is this I beg? I don’t play but plz do share.

Two, HOT DAMN, yes please.

Three, I am haunted with you, mission accomplished 👏🏼

[sailingfireshipz]

My 13x16 download. ✨️

1. First of all, starting this episode off with a Violet narration and then continuing it throughout was some nasty 👏🏼 work 👏🏼 because why am I tearing up in the first 30 seconds? 🥹

1a. "Devasting is a word they use a lot to describe fires & to describe loss." Subtle foreshadowing with 13x18 ahead of us? Idk

2. Pascal - this funeral will be family only. Can I say I was happy to see Monicas sister but felt like they severally underutilized her

3. Damon + Stellaride scene=BRING KYLIE HOME

3a. It's interesting that when Stella was down, a man on truck Chief was down her back about filling it. Hermanns been down a man on engine for how long now? Weird permanently filling it never came up between the Chief & Hermann :)

4. Having violet say "you know you can't just sit there in the rubble....so you dig out move forward or at least that's what you think you're doing" as Pascal looks at the firehouse before walking in was just BRILLIANT! Business as usual, right? We slowly start to see the cracks form & it just progressively gets worse as the episode plays

5. Stellaride looks & giggles as Cruz spins out is just sooooo yea 10/10

6. This scene with them climbing the machine made me think of when Stella climbed that tree in S9

6a. The way Kelly looked at Pascal after the rescue. Half impressed & amused the other half questioning

7. Not me agreeing with Pascal on the Damon front. We wouldn't be having this conversation if it wasn't Sevs brother. That's where the conversation starts & stops for me.

7a. Subtle foreshadowing, or am I thinking too hard?

Kelly mentioned Damon dying to prove himself. Pascal says he can't risk everything going sideways again. I have a theory for e18 & it ain't pretty.

8. Pascal "I know my wife" wheew was so Kelly coded. These parallels are parraling & i want to throw up.

8a. Pascals lip quivering as he faces the man that killed Monica... 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼

9. Can I just say protect Tony & Capp at all times

10. Pascal, taking 51 back to the scene of the accident, had my heart in my throat! 💔 He's desperately searching for a reason for it to make sense. Oh, this was a LOT!

10a. The moment he started yelling & asked why everyone was hell bent on exonerating the man that killed his wiiiife! Atp tears were rolling. Someone, please hug that man!

11. The Hawkins mention 🥹anything but lillys advice. Tying in the fact that things like this matter, especially as you navigate grief. The smell of something as simple as a lily can unintentionally trigger a person. I could go on & on about that scene, but for now 👏🏼

12. Stella not understanding where Kelly's concern is coming from is stressing me oooout because Kelly, why haven't you told her!!? Do you think he should have told her? That's a heavy secret to carry, especially from your wife.

13. Novak & Damon is a no-go for me like I literally get no buzz from them at all. Plus, do we really need another firehouse romance with Mikarver still in the trenches?

14. I guess Violets letter is more so a letter to herself. Also, I really want her to let Flynn off the hook ASAP!

15. Having Kelly be the voice of reason to Pascal made sense but also made me go, hmmm. Kelly would be the first one ready to run through walls if something nepharious were to ever happen to Stella. Right or wrong, Pascal is operating from a place of thinking Monica's death was preventable had the other driver not been "negligent." I'm not saying his behavior is right. I'm just saying I can understand it. He thinks the guy is escaping due process, just like Bishop almost escaped it well before Pascal handled it.

16. I hope Pascals decision to bring Damon back doesn't blow up in everyone's faces 🫠

17. 51 shows up for family. That's always been the basis of this show & the way they continue to highlight it is amazing. You don't have to be there long. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be willing & accepting.

18. The way Pascals' face softened when Mouch mentioned that they were there because whether Pascal likes it or not, he's a part of the 51 family! 👏🏼

Throughly enjoyed this episode! I love it when they explore grief & how it effects people differently vs. just picking up & moving along as if nothing happened. Pascals reaction was starkly different from any of the other characters we've seen go through it & this perspective was nice to see!

Pascal is now sort of tethered to the other main characters that have experienced unthinkable grief. Kelly & Violet are the most notable. We've seen Kelly check in with the chief. Now, i wonder if Violet will have her turn?

At this point, I'm emotionally preparing myself for e18-20 because the titles alone are enough to drive you up a wall.

If you made it this far, THANK YOU! Did I miss anything? What are your thoughts? Let's yap about it like we always do! :)

[claramelooo]

Friend!!!!

The cliff hanger?! You’re just gonna leave us poor, devoted, faithful, loving readers with THAT?!

As you should 👏🏼👏🏼

Your writing is absolutely incredible. Seriously, you have created a world that I am invested in and one I get SO excited for when you update. The DRAMA!! The SMUT!! The FLUFF!!! Just so so good.

I’m now requesting a solid strap scene. Maybe it can build back any bond that’s trying to be severed or just a way to celebrate Rio being home. Maybe let reader be a switch there 💛

I have a theory about what’s going on, the characters, and why the story and little details are so important and essential to each character.

Woosh!! Alright, let me follow up with this, I beg the to the powers above.

Let our girls have a happy ending. 💛

Hey, Anon!!

You guys were so exciting with the cliffhanger... It's so cute, mommy can't help. I'm so sorry hahaha 😂

Thanks for your words and I'm glad that you're invested. You know, I'm letting you enter in my secret world. In my mind.

Hmmm, I promise a scene who R will be in control (and that's all you should know and long for, dear 😉

Xoxo, honey!

Write me more ✨

[victoriously-wicked]

Flying through season 7 now. And now you're telling me Eliott's dad was abusive...?

*inhales sharply*

... I care too much about these guys, you CAN'T just drop tragic backstory like that and expect me to, what- just move on with my life?!?!

Also, it was nice to see my girl Hendrix again! I thought we'd never see her after getting her licence taken away. But she's here and doing great!! And Meloni ACTED HIS ASS OFF for that therapy scene with her👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[watcher0033]

WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK OHMYGOD THIS IS MY MOST INVESTED SCIFI SHOW SINCE DARK AND TRAVELERS HOLY CHICKEN NUGGETS I NEED FUCKING ANSWERS OHMYGODOYGOD

GUYS WATCH SILO IT. IS. SO. FUCKING. AMAZING.

I beg of you.

Pure awesomeness for 10 episodes.

Main Character is GIF above and she will awaken every sapphic bone in your body. She’s certainly awaken mine and I’m bloody asexual.

Rebecca Ferguson is so hot as Juliette in this even when she’s being an asshole. I’m like I can completely understand darling lemme lay down my life for u. Yall the pull of her is sooo 😚 my beloved feral alley cat

Actually I think this is a very carnal love letter to all ITs and engineers out there with how attractive every casted Mechanics are lmao

It’s a murder mystery with red level type of fascist regime conspiracy and the pacing is managed so fucking well you’ll never get bored and may at times cursed out loud of pure annoyance when the intro show itself and maybe break your phone just to hit the skip button immediately

It’s so good you’ll keep gasping like a toddler like you just watched the twists the first time though said twists has been already established few episodes ago and a constant cloudy backdrop to every interaction/conversation/literally every fucking scenes

Me: Oh my god. We’ve established this already. Please inform the other characters WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. Go, GO GO

Characters, being informed:

Also, Me: *gasps with them*

The tension is so fucking good. You will not tear your eyes away.

All the adrenaline of excitement and frustrations with the fucking questions that keep piling up and cry-inducing cliffhangers are all fucking worth it because the payoffs are literally everything. I am madly hyperfixating. This is love.

Official summary: *crying because it barely eclipses the sheer fucking genius of this show but also cant think of something better because it feels like trying to wiggle in a tiny room surrounded by electric fences. Electric fences being spoilers*

Give it a shot it’s so worth it. I just clicked on it on a whim just to play it in the background while working. And now here I am at midnight rambling like Im high.

Best scifi shows of the fucking year. 👏🏼 Maybe one of the best scifi shows ever. It certainly is in my top 3.

Say it with me: TRUTH BEFORE ORDER.

tw‼️ CLEAN 💀

That ending. That ending. That fucking ending. SEASON 2 COME OUT.

[joonie7007]

Starting YOU and my god!? Joe would literally be a housewife but also a work husband… / bro already wears apron so it’s an automatic win for the ogs

He would just treat you like a porcelain doll now thinking about it he would do that to all of his past lovers just like the old man ( I forgot his name ..) fragile things need to be protected? I for.. xp

He WOULD do everything for you ..

Yandere joe Goldberg x reader that scene from ep 2 when yall first kiss that man would've creamed his pants-

Nah cuz if he was with me ill slap that big ahh forehead the only way showing my affection to him faxx 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️🔥🔥 ( love my short/ big forehead kinggg )

Not only that l'd rather spend 8 seconds with Joe than with that hipster dude (I wanted to rko slam him myself ) and why is it always girls and literature (50 shades / After ) and I get this is the first season but beck girl u stressing me out

LOVE IT when she stands up for herself 👏🏼

If you watch this show and get your first apartment ☑️curtains get that on ur checklist

Also I wish I had girlfriends to share bout guys and all that bullcrap ( peach a h8ter fr🙄 ) nvm they all fakies

I’m writing as I go ( ep 6 rn )

BUT MY GOD PEACH IS INSANE

(Prob just me but imagining yourself as peach friend especially how she takes lewd photos without your consent/ making you follow her wherever she goes and ruins any potential relationship you try to get into * ifykyk

I’ll add more cuz this isn’t how I wanted it ( fixed? )

Rereading this my god it’s sloppy butt I needed to write my thoughts before my mind explodes

☝️🤓

Would this song fit Joe Goldberg ❓❓ am I cooking or am I dying from a gas leak 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

[triviareads]

I recently read That Scandalous Evening by Christina Dodd and I was wondering if you have read books with that kind of dynamic? Like the hero/heroine wanting to paint/draw/sculp the hero/heroine

I love That Scandalous Evening! Art in HR peaked with that book imho; that nude sculpture with only a little fig leaf covering his bits was inspired, but what really put it over the top was the aftermath when Ransom is ENRAGED and HORNY and clearly into Jane's hero worship but he's also being likened to a DOG and he literally presses her hand to his dick and says "note the difference"— all of which I was completely not expecting so that made it even better. Anyway— artist/muse recs:

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Shupe: Violet is a photographer and uses the camera her dad's best friend Ravensthorpe gifted her to photograph him nude (front and back 👏🏼).

Falling Into Bed with a Duke Lorraine Heath: The hero Ashbury likes to photograph legs and when Minerva Dodger propositions him at a sex club, he jumps at the chance to get those leg pics (I also have in my notes him saying "your foot is flawless" and between this and In Want of a Viscount I'm starting to think Lorraine Heath likes to write in a tasteful foot fetish).

In Which Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti: Ashford is Matilda's accidental(?) muse in that her erotic cartoons of dirty profs tying gals up were subliminally inspired by Ashford, but then the publisher took some liberties to make it a more exact likeness, namely adding an ass tat, which is why Ashford hunts down Matilda to "make her pay" or something.

The Marquess Method by Kathleen Ayers: I forget if Theo actually ends up painting a miniature of Haven but she definitely wanted to, so she informs him in the middle of having sex, down to the paint shade she'd use. This is the same woman who painted a miniature of herself with one(?) tit out in order to lure a guy she liked... only to get compromised by Haven.

Sweetest Scoundrel by Elizabeth Hoyt: The funny thing about this one is that Asa is all "oh Eve is suuuuuch a shrew" but then the second she asks to paint him but clarifies it's not a nude, he's super butthurt and is like "is it because I'm a COMMON LOUT? too ugly to be painted naked??" and if that doesn't inform their dynamic idk what else will. Also, there's this whole subplot of Bridget Crumb being *enthralled* by Val's tasteful nudes in his house.

Midnight Ruin by Katee Robert: As of today I can confirm Orpheus did a series of paintings of Eurydice's vaj but kept them private, even after they broke up. There is also a body painting/edging sex scene.

Serving Pleasure by Alisha Rai: Rana kinda stalks Micah but he's aware and very into it and eventually asks her to be his muse for his paintings/fuckbuddy for the duration. It's actually SO HOT and Rana's the kind of crazy heroine I wanna see more South Asian girlies written as.

Captives of the Night by Loretta Chase: Leila is an artist and she either does paint Esmonds or wants to paint him.

[zablife]

Lee!!!! I hope you don’t mind me dropping into your inbox to say that I finished s2 of The Bear!! 😬😬 (I figured I’d pop in here so that maybe others would want to chat too! - hope that’s fine!)

That final episode was so intense and left me wanting so much more!!! I was hanging onto every second of it and was so invested in it that I was sitting there like 😟 ‘it’s over?’ once the credits started rolling.

The whole storyline of Carmy getting stuck in the walk-in was so intriguing, and I LOVE how everything came out because of it. His conversation with Tina (and the monologue that followed) struck my heart and then his screaming match with Richie felt like it hurt me as well — also sidebar, can we talk about Richie’s growth this season???? I love what his character became so much….I just hope that Carmy didn’t throw that all away 😬👀 I honestly felt bad for Claire too .. oh Carmy and his self-sabotaging 🙃🙃

And Marcus’ phone at the end?!!!! 😩😩😩 I’m holding out hope that that’s not what they’re making us think that it is because I don’t think I can take seeing him hurt like that!!!

Oh and I’m not even going to get into the conversation between Donna and Pete outside the restaurant……I understood her side but half of me was like: go in there and cheer on your children!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The only part I wish they would have expanded on was what was going on with Sydney at the end … like I understand why she had to rush out there and what was going on but the whole conversation with her dad was very…meh - I wish we would have seen her go back in and then continue on/see how she came out of it …… but I guess that’s why cliff-hangers are put where they are 😩😩

I’m still super invested in this show and I’m super excited to see where they’ll take it next - the restaurant’s pretty much open now…..will it show us how Carmy and Sydney work not to fuck it up?? Or will it go in another, completely different direction?? Either way I’m in for the ride!!

Sorry for the super long ask …. I just had to jump on here and share my thoughts with you because oh boy was it a rollercoaster!! I’m excited to hear your thoughts on how it all ended!! Thank you for your time, chef!!

K, tysm for sharing your thoughts!! I couldn’t agree more, S2 was so good, but I’m not ready for it to be over either 😭😭 Let’s discuss more below the cut bc *spoilers* and it gets long!

Carmy getting stuck in the walk in so Syd and Richie could seize their moment was amazing 🤩 What a lovely plot twist that perfectly embodies Carmy’s tendency to self sabotage! (I had to giggle a bit as I thought of all the times they told him to call the fucking fridge guy!! 😂😂) It was also the perfect dramatic break up scene with Claire. That voicemail 💔 However, he seems genuinely upset about it so I see him making an attempt at reconciliation at some point in the future, don’t you?

I love love Richie’s growth. How adorable is he when he returns showing off his new style like “I wear suits now!” The whole idea of him remembering the chocolate covered banana story touched me esp bc Carmy always knew he’d be good with people 🥰 And I’m so happy for Tina and Marcus as they continued their culinary journey with enthusiasm. I was afraid we’d lost Ebra tho 😢 and I was smiling so much when he returned! But I really hope all is well with Marcus’ mum. He loves her so much 🥺

Speaking of mums, as usual Donna let her own ego stand in the way of connecting with her children. She’s entertaining and played so well by Jamie Lee Curtis, but I could not despise this narcissistic character more tbh. Thank God for Pete bc he works really hard to pick up the pieces for Sugar. By contrast I actually really liked the scene between Syd and her father, when she goes from vomiting by the bins to hearing his highest praise. That made me teary eyed bc she’d been waiting so long to hear him say he believed in her dream not just being a dutiful, supportive father, but in a genuine, awe filled way.

I have no clue what to expect from a new season, but I’m all in for whatever comes next!

[superbfics]

PART THRRREEEEEE 💛 ugh I've loved reading Steve Spider-man. A version of Steve I knew I wanted but didn't know I needed 💛💛💛💛

She huffs and sinks into the couch cushions. Steve’s always been stubborn, quick to deflect with humor or sarcasm when things get too intense. Too much.

ROBIN COMING IN HOT WITH THE TRUTH BOMBS 👏🏼

“You’re the neighbor,” she continues, saying your name to make sure she’s right, even though she seemed plenty sure of that already. “Steve talks about you all the time.”

“Really?” You can’t help but ask. You try to hide the hopefulness in your voice, the happiness at the idea of him talking about you. All the time. 

“Oh, yeah. You have made quite the impact on this guy,” she points towards him with a thumb over her shoulder.

“Robs,” Steve gives her a stare, eyes wide and—if the hint of pink spreading over his cheeks says anything—probably telling her to stop embarrassing him.

Robin knows what she's doing and I'm here for it 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

This is a question he loves to ask you, because you get excited to respond every time. He loves to watch you grab the book and show it to him, to see your hands flick through the pages as you tell him what it’s about, to watch the way your mouth forms the words you speak.

Your vision is blurred by tears when you look up at him, at the red and blue suit, the mask. Your breathing is quick, panicked, but it slows the slightest bit when you look at him. Spider-man. Steve. The best boy ever.

It’s slow, it’s delicate, and it means something. There are a thousand words that neither of you can say buried in this kiss, in the gentle press of your lips. Words spoken with the tilt of his head to get closer, the squeeze of his fingers interlocked with yours.

Steve hangs upside down, his head level with yours when you open the window to talk to him. If you weren’t so busy being in love with him, the sight would be sort of funny.

“Well hello, Spider-man,” you say, leaning your hands against the windowsill.

“Hey, honey.”

I'm gonna think about this scene forever and ever and ever 💛

Though everything’s out in the open now, there’s a shyness there. Like two kids with crushes wondering what to do next. You’ve never loved each other out loud before today. It’s brand new territory.

YOU'VE NEVER LOVED EACH OTHER OUT LOUD BEFORE TODAY.

single thread (pt. 3)

part 1, part 2, part 3

pairing: spiderman!steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: you know steve’s secret, but he has another; he loves you. of course, you love him, too, and things change.

word count: 9.3k

warnings: spiderman!steve au, fluff, smut (thigh riding and a hj), mentions of a car accident (nobody gets hurt), idiots in love!!!!!!

a/n: she’s here!!!! thank u guys so much for ur support on this mini series, i have loved writing it so so much <3 this will be the last long piece, but if you guys have requests for blurbs from this universe, i’d love to have them!!!

/ᐠ(๏‸๏)ᐟ\

You’d never been that great at puzzles, at figuring things out quickly without hints. But for some reason, this was something you’re pretty sure of.

Steve is Spider-man. He’s the one who saved you, who saves people every day, and he keeps it hidden. You understand why he does, and you’d never want to pressure him into telling you something he doesn’t want to, you only wish he knew you were ready to listen. Whenever.

You’re not that strong, but you’d take some of the weight off of his shoulders if you could.

The news plays on your TV now more than ever, as more than just background noise. Your eyes focused on the screen whenever Spider-man is mentioned, analyzing the way he moves, the familiarity of the hand gestures when he speaks, the gentleness when he makes sure someone’s okay.

It isn’t only on the news that you notice things, either. Seeing Steve as often as you’ve grown to, you seem to find more tells constantly. How he can catch a glass before it spills without even looking, the way he’s on edge sometimes, like he can’t focus on one single thing.

You see Steve often, and the clues are there, and he still hasn’t told you about it.

It’s not that you expect him to tell you, or that you’re angry he hasn’t. It’s just been hard to pretend like you don’t know why he’s limping or like you’re still clueless to it all. He’ll tell you on his own time, or maybe he won’t, but you’ll have to be okay with that.

You’ve convinced yourself it’d be best not to tell him you knew. He’s probably stressed out enough, and you didn’t want to add to that if you could avoid it. You’ll be there for him either way, that’s what’s important.

Besides, on top of you figuring out he’s Spider-man, you’ve finally acknowledged the feelings that have been there for a while. The serious ones, the four letter ones. They’ve been on your mind more than anything.

You’re in love with Steve, that’s something you could tell him, in theory, but you can’t bring yourself to. You’d hate to ruin the only real friendship you’ve managed to build since moving.

So, he’s not the only one with secrets after all. He’s Spider-man, you know that he’s Spider-man, and you’re in love with him.

Lately, you’ve actually been thankful for how quiet things have been at work. Your head’s been loud enough. The thoughts of Steve, of trying not to give anything away every time you look at him, of whether he might be going to patrol whenever he leaves.

It’s all-consuming. Pathetic, even.

And it’s what’s on your mind—once again—as you walk home from your morning shift at work. The sun’s out, your eyes squinted when it hits your face. The breeze around you is still chilly, but the promise of spring and warmth is nice.

You glance over to the newsstand you always pass going to and from work, checking the picture on the front page to look for a certain mask. Today, it’s there, and you pause to look at it.

‘Spider-man catches culprit behind string of armed robberies.’

Skimming the article, your heartbeat picks up. The danger this boy puts himself in for the sake of other people. The injuries you’ve seen him come home with. You shake your head and keep walking.

“Mom, look!” A little boy says, urging his mother towards the newsstand. “It’s Spider-man!”

You turn around, a small smile on your face as you see the mother buying her son a copy of the paper. You guess you’re not the only person who can’t keep away from that hero.

Then, there’s a little glow in your chest, the reminder that you’re lucky enough to know the person behind the mask, too.

-

Steve thinks that telling Robin about you might’ve been a bad idea, because she looks like she might slap him right now.

“You’re telling me you kissed her, then told her it couldn’t happen again, and yet you still have that look on your face when you talk about her?”

Robin makes it sound very simple. To him, it isn’t.

“Well, yeah, but it’s complicated, okay? And I don’t have a look on my face, Robs.”

“You absolutely do, all moony and shit. If I didn’t want you to find someone so badly, I’d say it’s kinda gross.”

Honestly, Steve can’t even tell her she’s wrong. If the way he thinks about you tells him anything, it’s that he probably can’t keep it off his face. At the very least, he hopes that Robin can only tell because she knows him so well, not because it’s insanely obvious.

“Thanks.”

“Steve, I know you like her,” she says, gentler than before, careful not to scare him from the conversation.

I more than like her, he thinks. There’s a better way to describe it and he knows that. He may not admit it, not even to himself, but he knows it all the same.

Robin continues before Steve can reply, “and I know you’re scared, I do, but we both know you’d regret it if you didn’t give this a shot.”

He shakes his head. Somehow, every time he sees Robin, the conversation always leads to this. To you.

“I’d regret it more if I got her hurt.”

“Steve, I’ve known about you since the beginning and look at me. I’m right here, perfectly fine,” she holds her arms out, like it’s some sort of proof that she’s okay. “The worst I’ve done lately is scrape my knee, and that’s just because I’m clumsy, not because I know about you being Spider-man.”

He supposes she’s right, that she has a point here, but it doesn’t stop him from being afraid, from feeling an uncomfortable clench in his chest when he thinks about even the slightest possibility of putting you in danger.

“It’s different with her, though,” he says.

“Come on! Remember in high school when you had like four different girlfriends in a month?”

“That’s an exaggeration.”

“Well, still. Where’s that part of you gone?”

“Um…”

“Shut up, I mean the part that was open to that. To trying to make connections.”

“Maybe the venom from the spider made it disappear.”

She huffs and sinks into the couch cushions. Steve’s always been stubborn, quick to deflect with humor or sarcasm when things get too intense. Too much.

Robin’s a good friend, the best one, and she can see him closing up, so she changes her approach.

“I just want you to be happy, you know?”

“Yeah, Robs, I know.”

“Can you just think about it?”

“About what?”

“Asking her out, telling her how you feel,” Robin lays a hand on Steve’s shoulder, gives it a small squeeze. “Don’t close yourself off to it completely.”

Steve’s hand lands on top of hers, squeezes it back before letting go. He may not have that many people in his life, but having a friend like Robin never makes him feel like he’s missing anything.

At least, he didn’t feel that way until he met you. Now, he thinks about what it’d feel like to fall asleep and wake up with his arms wrapped around you, to be able to kiss you and hold you. To have that intimacy that you can only have when you’re in love with someone.

Fuck. In love.

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”

-

The good thing about being lost in thought while you walk is that it makes time go by quickly. By the time you’re walking up the stairs to your apartment, you’re not even sure how you got there, your feet having been on autopilot.

Just as you’re fishing out your keys, there’s the sound of a door opening, a pair of voices following. One that’s practically engraved in your head. The other is of a girl, who seems to notice you standing by your door very quickly.

“Oh my gosh! Hi!”

You blink at her a couple of times, because she’s talking to you like she knows you, like you should know her. “Hi…?”

Steve’s leaning a shoulder against his door frame behind her, a scrunch in his brows and a shake of his head. It’s all you catch before she grabs your attention again.

“Sorry! I’m Robin, Steve’s totally, completely plantomic best friend-”

“Oh my god,” he mutters.

“You’re the neighbor,” she continues, saying your name to make sure she’s right, even though she seemed plenty sure of that already. “Steve talks about you all the time.”

“Really?” You can’t help but ask. You try to hide the hopefulness in your voice, the happiness at the idea of him talking about you. All the time.

“Oh, yeah. You have made quite the impact on this guy,” she points towards him with a thumb over her shoulder.

“Robs,” Steve gives her a stare, eyes wide and—if the hint of pink spreading over his cheeks says anything—probably telling her to stop embarrassing him.

“What?” She looks back at him, all innocent.

“Don’t you have to get to work?”

“Okay, okay,” Robin turns towards you again, gives you a toothy smile that’s wide enough to have you sending her a small grin in return. “It was so nice to finally meet you.”

“You, too,” you say, and though she surprised you with a whole bunch at once, you mean it.

She pulls you into a hug and says to you quietly, “thank you for taking care of him.”

And with that, she walks away, retreating down the hall. Steve hears her, Robin knows that. Hell, she probably wanted him to.

He scratches at the back of his neck (that habit of his) and huffs, “I’m sorry about her. She can be sort of a lot.”

“Don’t be,” you shake your head. “She seems great.”

“You’d like her, I think. If you got to know her.”

He still seems nervous, like you and Robin meeting was a really big thing for him. And it is. The two most important people in his life meeting. Of course he’d want that to go well.

“Steve, you don’t need to worry, or anything. I already like her, okay?”

Anyone who seems to make Steve happier is bound to win some points with you. He deserves friends like that, especially with everything he has to carry.

“Okay, yeah. That’s good.”

He still seems nervous, so you step over and place your hand on his arm, giving him the lightest squeeze. He probably wouldn’t have felt it if it weren’t for how focused he is on you.

“I was just surprised, that’s all. Promise.”

Steve’s hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers gently, as if he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

“Thank you,” he speaks quietly. Two words he tries to tell you as often as he can.

-

Steve’s been visiting you at work often, sometimes with food, always with enough to brighten your day. Getting to spend that extra time with him is another perk of working when it’s not busy.

Today, he’s decided to surprise you rather than give you a heads-up over the phone. There’s a takeout bag clutched in his hand, and a little ball of nerves in his stomach. He shouldn’t be nervous, it’s only you. Then again, it’s you.

He opens the bookstore door, the small bell above it jingling. For once, there’s a customer at the register. You glance over at Steve from behind the counter, wiggling your hand in a quick wave before helping your customer again.

And just like that, there’s that feeling in his chest.

Steve waits by one of the displays as you finish up, trying not to make it obvious that he’s looking at you. There’s the soft smile on your face, the tone of your voice, the way the lighting hits your skin. It all has his heart going quicker.

“Hi, Steve,” you greet him once the customer leaves. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”

“Hi, honey. Kinda the point of surprising you with food.”

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Hopefully I picked something you like.”

From the packaging he’s seen before in your apartment, he’s pretty sure he did alright, but he waits for your confirmation all the same.

You open the bag he’d set on the counter, a small happy gasp that he likes way too much leaving your mouth, “yay! How’d you know I liked this place?”

He shrugs, “lucky guess.”

There’s a second stool behind the counter, and you pull it up for Steve without a word, patting the seat for him to sit down. He does, consumed by the brush of your arms as you unpack the food, the touch of your knees when you shift in your seat.

“Thanks again, Steve.”

“You already know I owe you for all the meals you’ve made me.”

“And you already know, you don’t owe me anything.”

You’re a kind person, Steve’s known that since he met you. So much so that you don’t even see the value in what you’ve done for him, like it’s the simplest thing for you. It’s the simplest thing to help him.

It makes him want to do things he said he wouldn’t. Things like kiss you.

“Anyway,” he shakes the thought away. “How’s your day been?”

You lift a shoulder as you finish your bite of food before replying, “been okay. I’ve had a couple more people come in than usual, which is good.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, I love the quiet in here, love getting to just read behind the counter and call it work. But, it’s also nice to feel useful at least some of the time.”

“That’s good. What’ve you been reading?”

This is a question he loves to ask you, because you get excited to respond every time. He loves to watch you grab the book and show it to him, to see your hands flick through the pages as you tell him what it’s about, to watch the way your mouth forms the words you speak.

He loves to ask you, because he loves to listen to your voice when you answer. That word’s been in his head a lot lately. Love.

So much that he’s not sure it ever really leaves. It’s a lingering whisper, growing louder when he’s with you. Even after you eat, after the food’s been cleaned, as he walks out the door, the word stays.

“Bye, Steve, see you later!” You say as he reaches for the door handle.

He lets himself look at you again before leaving, his eyes lingering for a second too long. “Bye, honey.”

The bell above the door rings again as he leaves, but it isn’t loud enough to cover what’s rushing through Steve’s mind. I love her. I shouldn’t, I can't. I love her.

God, maybe he should talk to Robin again, he thinks. Or, maybe he could avoid the lecture he’s bound to get and take his mind off things the best way he can: putting on the suit.

-

Turns out that even when he should be focused on patrolling, his mind still likes to wander. That’s probably why he ends up stationed atop the building across from the bookstore, where your closing shift should be ending soon.

He ends up there most nights he knows you’re closing, really.

Before, when he couldn’t even let himself think about his feelings for you, he’d tell himself he stayed near the bookstore because it was a shadier area, more alleyways and all that. Now, though it sort of scares him, he’s able to acknowledge that it’s purely to make sure you’re safe.

He has a whole city to be protecting, but if his senses aren’t leading him anywhere else, he’ll always end up near you.

It’s sort of ironic. You, subconsciously looking for Spider-man everywhere you go, him being right there, and you don’t even know it. He’s so, so close.

Steve stationed himself across the street from you about twenty minutes before the shop was meant to close. His eyes squinted on his mask to see if there was anyone seemingly dangerous around, just in case.

Sometimes, when he does this, he can’t stop himself from thinking about that night when he found you in that alley. When his ears were filled with pure static until he knew you were safe. When he kneeled in front of you and brought you home. He doesn’t want you to go through something like that ever again.

The click of the bookshop door closing behind you has Steve’s heightened hearing turned on, knowing that you’re about to lock up and head home.

You feel like there are eyes on you as you walk. But, every time you look behind you, there’s nobody there. You’re just being paranoid, you tell yourself. You’re fine. And really, you are fine, because the eyes aren’t dangerous—though you don’t know it—they belong to Steve.

He hops across buildings as discreetly as he can while following your pace. Walking you home in his own, secret way.

The next thing happens in a complete blur.

You’re crossing at an intersection when a car runs a red light, speeding and crashing into another vehicle. You’re in the street, the two cars screeching on the pavement and heading straight for you. Even if you ran, you wouldn’t be quick enough.

But he was.

Steve jumped down before it even happened, his vision tunneling on that car, on you in its path. He just knew he needed to get to you first. He shot the web, swung down, and scooped you up right before the collision reached you. His heart pounding, his grip on you tight enough to knock the air from your lungs.

He lands and sets you down at the back of an alley, hidden from the bystanders that screamed at the sight of the crash, at the sight of him.

It takes you an entire minute of silence, of your chest heaving and your ears ringing to grasp what had just happened. How close of a call it was, how he was there to save you again.

Your vision is blurred by tears when you look up at him, at the red and blue suit, the mask. Your breathing is quick, panicked, but it slows the slightest bit when you look at him. Spider-man. Steve. The best boy ever.

When your eyes lock onto his face, Steve rushes forward, holding your face in a gentle grasp. It’s frantic, the way his hands shake when he reaches for you, the way his head tilts all over to make sure you’re okay. His thumbs brush away the tears that fall from your eyes, back and forth and back and forth.

“Hey, look at me,” he says, dipping his head down to make you focus on him. “Breathe.”

You shake your head, trying to calm down the best you can after coming so close. Fuck, it was so close. If Steve would’ve been a split-second later, you would’ve been hit. The thought doesn’t help you calm down one bit.

Steve can see the fear in your eyes, the quick rise and fall of your chest. It clenches his heart in a tight, uncomfortable fist, and all he wants to do is help you. So he lets it slip.

“Breathe, honey. Come on.”

Honey.

That’s all the confirmation you’d ever need. You were right. This is Steve. It’s Steve holding your face and saving your life.

You surge forward and wrap your arms around his neck, and his go around your waist instantly.

“Steve,” you breathe out so quietly, only he could have heard it.

His heart sinks and flips at the same time, if that’s even possible. It sinks because you know, somehow, and it terrifies him so much, he’s not sure what to say. But then, it flips, too, because there’s a relief that’s clear in your voice.

“How did you-” he starts, but you only squeeze him tighter.

“Steve,” this time, your voice breaks when you say it.

Now isn’t the time to talk about this. Not when you were almost hit, not in public. Not now and not like this, Steve knows that. The break in your voice tells him to push that back for now.

“I’m gonna take you home, okay?”

He can feel you nod against his neck, so he lets go of you with one hand and keeps the other wrapped around you and starts swinging.

Right now, at this second, he’s not worried about how you found out, how you know it’s him. No, he only cares that you’re alive, that he can feel your arms squeezing around his neck, that he can squeeze you back just as tight.

As he swings with you clutching onto him, the realization makes his breathing stutter.

You could’ve died just then. In that fraction of a moment, you could’ve been gone without Steve ever getting the chance to tell you he loves you. He can’t let that happen. He’s gotta tell you.

It scares the absolute shit out of him, but he has to do something. He can’t lose you before working up the courage to tell you how he feels, before having the slightest chance at kissing you again.

He won’t let that happen.

-

Steve’s very gentle with you, even when he’s swinging from building to building with you in his arms. The sure grip he has around your waist and the smell of his cologne buried under the suit help ground you as wind rushes by.

You’re alive, Steve’s got you, and he knows you know.

Your eyes are squeezed shut the entire way, and in only a couple of minutes, he’s hanging onto the side of his building by his window and thanking himself for (once again) not locking it.

“Hey, honey, can you open the window for me?”

You lift your face from his neck and nod, twisting to lift it open. Steve’s supporting you with one arm and holding the both of you up with the other. The strength he has is incredible, especially when you’re seeing it first hand.

He helps you get into his room with a hand on your lower back, and lifts himself in right after you. You watch Steve’s back beneath the suit as he shuts the window, watch his gloved hands remove the web-shooters from his wrists.

Then, slowly, watch those same hands lift up to the edge of his mask and tug it off.

Your breath catches. You knew it was him, but seeing Steve’s familiar face and its prettiest combination of features be revealed is different, it’s real.

“Wow,” you say, though you hadn’t really meant to. It slipped. “Hi.”

Steve’s had a twist in his gut ever since he found out that you knew about him, and it only tangles more now that you’re looking at him with widened eyes. He doesn’t want things to change with you, and he’s so scared that they will.

What if you don’t want to see him anymore because of this? What if you’re angry with him for keeping it from you? What if you end up hurt because someone wanted to get to him?

“Um, hi.”

You step closer to where he stands by his side table, your hands twisting in front of you like you’re nervous, too.

“You saved me.”

“Just, uh, doing my job,” he says, shrugging it off.

“Well, then, you’re really, really great at what you do.”

You’re trying to be light with the subject, to take it at his pace given it’s his secret, his life. Steve’s quiet for a few moments, a flicker of something you can’t distinguish crossing over his face.

“How’d you know?” Is all he says, but you know exactly what he means by it.

“Saw Spider-man with the exact same injuries as you on the news. I guess I just connected the dots from there.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

You reach for his hand and hold it lightly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, your touch can help to ground him as much as his does you.

“Don’t be, okay? I understand why you wouldn’t. I just want to be there for you.”

“I don’t tell anyone, really,” he starts, his grip on your hand tightening as he speaks. “Robin’s the only other person who knows. I don’t want to put anyone in danger so I… I just keep it to myself.”

You squeeze his fingers, trying to show him in any way you can that you aren’t going to run away from this.

“You don’t have to keep it all to yourself, Steve. You can talk to me or knock on my door whenever you’re hurt,” he shakes his head. “You can. I keep my first-aid kit stocked for you.”

“It doesn’t scare you? That you might get hurt because of me?”

“I’m not scared for myself. I’m scared for you. Going out every night and fighting the bad guys. I’m scared that you’ll get hurt, Steve. I’m not worried about me,” he glances down but you step even closer, making him look at you. “If tonight shows anything, it’s that you’ll save me from getting hurt either way.”

Steve’s hand that isn’t holding yours moves up, pushing your hair over your shoulder before landing on your face. The fabric of his glove rests against your jaw, his thumb running over your skin, his eyes searching yours for a single hint of insincerity.

He doesn’t find one.

“You’re really important to me, honey.”

“You’re important to me, too.”

You’re close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips, his forehead a whisper away from yours. Close enough that you catch the way his eyes flick down to your mouth and back up.

“I know I said we shouldn’t-”

“Kiss me, Steve.”

“Okay.”

The hand on your face tilts you upwards, and just like that, he catches your lips with his. You’ve kissed before and still, there’s a rush of butterflies in your stomach, a warmth spreading over your skin the way a blanket of sunlight feels.

It’s slow, it’s delicate, and it means something. There are a thousand words that neither of you can say buried in this kiss, in the gentle press of your lips. Words spoken with the tilt of his head to get closer, the squeeze of his fingers interlocked with yours.

Steve doesn’t ever want to not be able to kiss you again. Not when it feels like this. Acceptance and reassurance, softness and the sort of glowing feeling he’s only ever had around you.

When he pulls away, he doesn’t go far. Your breaths meet between your faces, mingling in the silence that follows. Steve rests his forehead against yours, your noses brushing.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” you say. Because you’re still shaken from earlier, because you need the comfort that Steve seems to provide simply by being next to you, because you’re afraid that if you let him out of your sight, he’ll pull away from you again.

“You want me to stay with you?”

You nod. “Please.”

“Okay, honey, I’ll stay.”

As long as you’ll have me, he thinks, I’ll stay.

-

Steve did stay that night. After you both showered and got ready for bed, there was a moment where he stood—almost nervous—in the doorway of your bedroom. You lifted the covers for him and patted the spot next to you, and that was it.

He stayed for breakfast, too. This time, it was him cooking for you, stood over the stove in your apartment. It’s a sight you could definitely get used to. Then, like he could get any sweeter, he even called into work for you, saying you should at least get a day after what happened the night before. What almost happened.

Really, as scary as the crash had been, what you’d been thinking about the most was the way he kissed you. The way you’d woken up in the middle of the night with his arm around your waist. The way you fell back asleep easily with him there.

It’s what you’ve been thinking about in the days since. What you’re thinking about even now.

You know that something shifted that night, with him finding out that you knew he’s Spider-man, with you being able to reassure him that it won’t push you away. You could feel that shift, like a tectonic plate.

Despite that, things have been quiet and relatively the same with Steve. You haven’t seen him all that much, but when you do it’s still friendly. Friendly with something lingering between you, unspoken and palpable.

It’s dark out now, the evening news playing on your TV the way it so often does. It’s static to you until you see footage of Spider-man from earlier, swinging around and fighting crime again.

Naturally, your first thought is Steve, and whether or not he’s okay. Before, when he didn’t know you knew, you’d keep all this worry to yourself, letting it build and build until you saw him again. Now, though, he knows you know and you can do something about that concern.

You push yourself up from your couch and head to your door. Knocking on his comes easy, and he opens it quickly, like he knew it was you.

“Hi,” he says. There’s a smile pulling at his mouth.

“Hi. Sorry for bothering you, I just- um. I saw the news and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Seeing you on the other side of his door already had Steve’s heart doing this silly flutter in his chest. Knowing you care enough to check on him this way does something else entirely. It floods from head to toe, the feelings he has for you. The ones he’s identified as love.

“I’m okay, promise. Not even a scratch this time.”

You nod, a pressure lifting from your lungs. You breathe a little easier seeing him unharmed. Seeing him in general.

“Okay. Good,” you should probably stop there, turn around and go back to yours, but you don’t. “I was just really worried, y’know, ‘cause I’ve seen you hurt and all, so I just wanted to see you and check-”

“Hey,” he grabs your hand gently, cutting off your rambling and tugging you into his apartment, pushing the door shut behind you. “I swear not every Spider-man thing I do is dangerous.”

“Yeah, okay, because swinging from buildings is super safe.”

“I’m a professional at that. Nothing to worry about.”

The wood of the front door is solid against your back, and Steve’s hand still in yours is the same. Solid, reassuring, sweet. Steve steps just a bit closer to you, so that you’re toe-to-toe and there’s nowhere for you to escape to.

His free hand reaches up to fiddle with the ends of your hair, gentle in a way that almost feels like you dreamt it.

“Did you really only come here to check on me?” He asks.

“Yeah, I did. Is that… okay?”

Steve wants to kiss you for that. He thinks you might want that, too. So, he dips his face closer to yours, lets go of your hand only to hold onto the nape of your neck instead. He hesitates, waits for you to push him away, but you never do.

Instead, you tilt your head and meet him in the middle.

You never knew that kissing someone could be so easy, that you could fit together so well that it just works. But that’s how it is with Steve, and you suppose that’s how it is when you’re in love. The pink haze and heart-shaped touches.

Steve doesn’t think he could ever get sick of kissing you, of feeling so light when things are often so heavy for him. When you pull away, he chases your mouth and steals two, three pecks from you.

Then, to answer your question, he says, “it’s more than okay.”

You only notice now that you aren’t distracted by his mouth on yours that your hands had found their way to his shoulders. It’s impossible not to notice the muscles under his skin, the clear evidence of his strength. Heat spreads through you, and you have to pull your hands away to speak properly.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” he tells you. His hand, still on your neck, squeezes so, so lightly. “I know I’ve said that we should only be friends, but that was before. Before you knew, and I was terrified of what could happen to you.”

“What about now?”

“Now…” He takes a deep breath, and focuses his eyes on yours. Whatever he’s about to say, he wants you to know he means it. “Now I can’t stop thinking about you and how it feels to kiss you.”

“I think about you, too.”

“Yeah?”

You nod, and though being honest makes you nervous, the smile that spreads over his face makes it worth it. So does the slight blush of his cheeks.

“I want to take you on a date. If that’s something you’d like.”

“I would really like that, Steve.”

Right then, there’s another shift, a bigger one. You both know there are feelings here. Big, scary feelings that you can’t say out loud yet.

-

Steve took care of planning the date. He wanted to surprise you, to impress you and do something for you this time. You do enough for him already.

Though Robin assured him—after all of her ‘finally’s and ‘I told you so’s—that it would be great, perfect, even, he’s still nervous when he knocks on your door. He’s shuffling on his feet, puffing out a breath as he waits, and then he sees you and the rest sort of melts away.

You open your door to find Steve with a picnic basket in hand and a slightly windswept bouquet of flowers in the other. You smile as he hands them to you and try to hide it by smelling the flowers.

“Thank you, these are beautiful.”

“‘Course.”

“I’ll just put them in water and then we can go.”

Your stomach is a mess of flutters and nerves as you fill up a vase with water and put the flowers in it. Sure, you’ve spent time with Steve alone time and time again, but never like this. It’s exciting and it’s scary, but the welcome kind of scary that comes with new things.

“You’re taking me on a picnic?” You ask, locking your apartment door behind you and then falling into step next to Steve.

“If that’s okay with you?”

“Sounds amazing.”

“My cooking isn’t as great as yours, I have to warn you,” Steve says, holding the door open to the stairwell.

“I’m sure I’ll love it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t, I’m just saying.”

He holds the door at the bottom of the stairs open for you, too. And then the one to exit the building.

As you walk along, Steve leading the way, your nerves fade, replaced with the familiarity and comfort of Steve’s company. Replaced with the feelings that sweep inside you like a huge bubble of pink bubblegum, so close to popping and spilling it all.

You talk aimlessly about anything and everything, and Steve does the same. You both try not to make the little catch in your breaths obvious when your hands brush.

He takes you to a park, one with big trees and a walking trail, with scattered flowers and the fresh smell of nature that makes you feel like you’re not even in the city anymore. He keeps going, and you keep following him, until he finds the spot he’d found before. A small clearing between trees, shaded by their leaves and just enough space for him to spread out the picnic blanket.

“Why have I never found this place myself?” You ask, looking up at the sky through the leaves.

“You like it?”

You nod, sitting down next to him on the blanket he brought. “Thank you for bringing me.”

He shrugs, “thank you for coming.”

You share a smile, a slow spread across your mouths as you look at each other for a moment. A smile saying this is real. Then, like it didn’t even happen, he starts to unpack the food.

Steve can’t even remember the last date he went on, but he knows that it wasn’t anything like this. He’s never felt this light around someone before. Somehow, you turn the bricks that weigh him down into feathers.

You’d thought it before, but you’re sure of it now; Steve is the absolute best boy you’ve ever known. The effort he put into making and packing up the food, the shyness he has about it all, like he should be embarrassed for being sweet to you. You feel unbelievably lucky that you moved into the apartment across from his.

The date goes by in a blink. You and Steve subconsciously moving closer and closer on the blanket, your thighs touching and your arms brushing. The food eaten between conversation and giggles. The picnic basket is now packed up again, the containers empty this time around.

You rest your head on Steve's shoulder and say, “thank you for this.”

Steve’s eyes close for a second, trying to memorize how this feels. He opens them and presses the gentlest kiss onto your head. “You’re welcome, honey.”

You stay that way and breathe each other in, once, then twice. That’s all you allow yourself before you stand and brush yourself off even though you weren’t dirty in the first place. Steve folds up the blanket and places it in the basket, and he stands, too.

This time, as you walk back to your apartment building, when your hands brush, you and Steve feel just a bit more confident, enough to reach your pinkies out to each other and lock them.

Steve’s the one who fully grabs onto your hand, letting your fingers intertwine. It’s how they’re meant to be, he thinks, two pieces of the same puzzle that just happen to fit together. You don’t let go for the entire walk.

Outside your building, neither of you really want to say goodbye, to end the date that feels like the beginning of something really, really good.

But, just as Steve lets go of your hand to reach for the door, he feels it. The tingling over his skin, the goosebumps, the static in his ears. He blinks and turns to you.

“I’m sorry-”

“Stop, it’s okay. Just be safe.”

He’ll never understand how you’re so understanding, how you accept it so quickly. All he knows is he loves you for it and so much more.

“Thank you, honey.”

He presses the quickest kiss to your cheek, sets down the picnic basket, and then runs into the alleyway on the side of the building. When he emerges, he’s in his suit and swinging off.

He’d been wearing it under his clothes. Always prepared.

You pick up the picnic basket and walk up to your apartment half convinced that the last few hours have been some sort of dream. Too good to be true.

-

The issue that had Steve’s senses coming alive didn’t take long to handle. Still, he stayed out to continue patrolling, worried that something else could happen. Worried that it might be too soon to go back and see you again.

Not seeing you didn’t erase you from his thoughts. Not one bit. He spent the hours in the suit waiting for the city to die down, waiting for the moment his senses would quiet down enough to let him know he was done for the night.

All because he wanted to see you, kiss you. God, he’s so fucked.

You were faring pretty much the same. Only, you’d changed into your pajamas rather than a superhero suit, laying around on your bed with a book in hand to hear knocks on your door. Or, at the very least, to hear him get home safe.

When the knock comes, it isn’t on your door. Instead, there’s a tapping on your bedroom window by the fire escape. As soon as you hear it, you shut your book and turn towards your window, and there he is.

Steve hangs upside down, his head level with yours when you open the window to talk to him. If you weren’t so busy being in love with him, the sight would be sort of funny.

“Well hello, Spider-man,” you say, leaning your hands against the windowsill.

“Hey, honey.”

“You aren’t hurt are you?” You ask, moving your hands to hold his face, because you’ve seen him injured enough times to be worried about that, to know it’s a possibility.

“I’m completely fine.”

“You’re really okay?”

“Nothing hurts, I promise,” he says, shaking his head. How could it when you’re holding him like that, looking at him like that. Pain isn’t what he’s feeling in the slightest.

You’re not really thinking when you lean in and peck his cheek over the mask, but it’s enough to scorch his skin, to leave an invisible mark.

And Steve isn’t really thinking when he speaks, “have I ever told you that I think you’re really pretty?”

“You’re upside down,” you tell him, fighting a stupid, lovesick smile. “You must be seeing wrong.”

He ignores that comment and twists himself upright, then climbs through your window into your apartment. You have to back up to make room for him, and when his feet hit the hardwood floors, he’s only inches away.

“I’m right side up now. Still think you’re pretty.”

You’ve never been good at taking compliments, never really thought that people meant them, only that they were trying to be kind. Steve is different. You still don’t believe it yourself, but you can tell that he does. His voice holds enough emotion to do that.

Bashful, you walk around him to shut your window and then lock it. You try to keep your feelings off of your face when you turn back around and find him already facing you, his mask now off and clutched in his hand.

His hair is a mess on his head, his cheeks flushed from being upside down and maybe, just maybe from being so close to you.

“So, what brought you to my window?” You ask.

“I wanted to say sorry,” he says, scratching at his neck. That habit of his. “For leaving the way I did earlier.”

It’s a half truth. He wanted to apologize for that. But, mostly, he wanted to tell you he loves you. He’d been thinking about it his whole patrol. Thinking about when the right time would be then remembering how quickly things can change, how you’d almost been hit not so long ago.

With that, he decided that there wasn’t a right time, that he could lose you just like that and he swore to himself that he wouldn’t let that happen. Especially not without telling you how he feels.

But, he’s always been more courageous with that mask on, and now, he just can’t get the words to leave his mouth. They hover on the top of his tongue, sticky and heavy.

“I told you it’s okay, Steve. I swear,” you step closer to him and reach for his hand, tugging the glove off before lacing your fingers with his. “I know that you had to, that this is a part of you and I’d never expect you to change or ignore it. I-“ love you, you almost say. But the words get stuck for you, too. “I care about you so much. Spider-man included.”

Every time Steve worries, even the slightest bit, that you’ll feel differently about him because of this, you prove him wrong. You say all the right things to make him feel better, to make him want to fall into you completely and never look back.

You’ve proven to him over and over that you’re in this, that you’re this dream of a girl that somehow ended up in his mess of a life. A mess you’re willing to join, helping him clean it without even trying.

You’re a dream, his dream, and he has to say it. He has to say it so he does, those sticky words forced off of his tongue in a breath.

“I love you.”

He squeezes your hand on the second word, like he’s emphasizing it. Love.

“I love you,” he says again, and you realize you’re not dreaming. He really said it, and he’s really looking at you that way with those soft, brown eyes. “You don’t have to say it, I just needed to tell you. I’ve never had someone make me feel the way you do. Never.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

Your heart pounds, thumps.

“I love you, too.”

“Serious?” He checks, because he thinks he dreamt it just like you had.

So you repeat it for him, “I love you, Steve.”

He leans in, not so afraid anymore, and places a hand on your neck, his fingers in your hair. The other hand squeezes yours again before letting go to frame your jaw and tilt your mouth to his.

It’s an easy rhythm to fall into now. Kissing him. And you feel yourself melt into him, your muscles relaxing, your body pushing towards his. Your arms are thrown around his neck, and all you feel is him.

It’s a delicate push and pull, a kiss that’s familiar but now has something new behind it. That acknowledged emotion, the reality of it. It has his tongue sweeping against the seam of your lips and dipping in when they part.

His hand is tangled tighter in your hair, and you’re not sure how long it’s been before you both pull away, breathless, chests heaving, matching smiles on your lips. Your noses still brush, and still, it doesn’t feel close enough.

Steve’s hands shift to run down your shoulders, then your arms, and back and forth.

“Does this mean I’m your girlfriend?” You ask, still breathing heavy, still feeling his breath fan across your lips.

“I’d like to think so,” he says, his hands now settled around your forearms. “If that’s what you want.”

You nod, kiss him quick. “Does it also mean you’ll stay the night?”

“As long as I can use your shower first,” he says.

“Good idea.”

“You saying I smell?”

You shrug, shoulder to your cheek. He smiles, and in turn, so do you, and it feels like the closest thing to perfect there could ever be.

-

Steve emerges from your bathroom with damp hair falling over his forehead and your clothes on instead of his suit. You lent him a t-shirt and a baggy pair of sweats that are still a bit too short at his ankles. You grin when you notice that.

And Steve grins when he sees you. My girl, he thinks. And it’s for real this time.

You’re sitting with your back against your headboard, knees bent and your book in your hands yet again. You needed to occupy yourself while he was showering, after all. Otherwise, you’d just think and think and think about him in the next room, his mouth on yours. His voice saying the words ‘I love you.’

He walks over and sits on the bed by your feet, his side facing you, but his head turned to look at you. Seeing him in your clothes, in your space, you think it’s something you’d like to see forever. Seeing you waiting for him in bed, Steve’s thinking the exact same thing.

“Hi,” you say.

Steve wraps a hand around your bare ankle, his thumb smoothing back and forth. “Hi.”

Though everything’s out in the open now, there’s a shyness there. Like two kids with crushes wondering what to do next. You’ve never loved each other out loud before today. It’s brand new territory.

But with that shyness, there’s so much more. There’s the knowledge of how it feels to kiss each other, to hold each other. There’s want to do it all again.

Steve’s other hand reaches for your book and sets it open and face-down on your nightstand. Then, he pushes your knees over so that he can lean in. He’s not fully thinking about what he’s doing, he’s simply listening to this thread that pulls him closer and closer to you until he’s kissing you again.

It starts with a couple of pecks, innocent, soft, quick. It turns into more and somewhere along the way you’re tugged into Steve’s lap, your knees on either side of one of his thighs. And somewhere along the way Steve’s hands have ventured under your shirt, running across your waist and up and down your back. He groans into your mouth when he notices the lack of a bra.

Steve tugs you impossibly closer to him, tugs you down so that you’re straddling his thigh with all of your weight. You inhale sharp and quick through your nose when he does.

It’s not long after that before you’re panting, unable to keep up with his mouth, and though Steve’s chest heaves, too, he doesn’t take the break to breathe properly. Instead, he dips his head to kiss your jaw, then your neck.

Your head tilts for him easily, an arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other tangled in the hair at the bale of his neck. You gasp when his teeth scrape against the skin behind your ear, your hips hurting unconsciously to rut against his thigh.

“Sorry,” you say, worried it was too much. Still, it comes out breathily.

He pulls back from your neck, looks into your eyes, his brown ones just a bit darker than usual. “Did that feel good?”

Your eyes search his face for an ounce of discomfort, of uncertainty. All you see is the kind of warmth that spreads through you, the kind of intensity that only comes with lust.

“Yes.”

“Do it again,” he tells you, his hands slipping down to rest just above the waistband of your shorts. He encourages you to move, his hands pushing and pulling. You move with him, slowly at first, letting out the smallest whimper when the angle is just right. At the sound, Steve says, “keep doing it.”

“Steve.”

“You’re okay,” his hands urge you forward again, his thumbs running back and forth soothingly. “I wanna make you feel good. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree, because how could you not when it already feels so good, when he’s looking at you with kiss-swollen lips, messy hair, and wide pupils. When he’s looking at you like it feels as good for him as it does for you.

You move quicker, his hands encouraging you still. He kisses you again, kisses you until you have to pull away, your mouth dropping open, a moan slipping out before you can stop it.

Steve wishes he could bottle up the sound and keep it, listen to it over and over. Because he’s the one who’s making you feel that way, he’s the one who has your hand tight in his hair. Because he’s thought about you before, and it’s nothing compared to the real thing.

The sweatpants you lent him grow a bit tighter, and his hands don’t stop guiding you over him. He wants to hear you make that noise again.

You drop your forehead to his shoulder, your thighs tightening around his, your clit catching on the fabric of your shorts and his (your) sweatpants enough to make you moan again.

“That’s it, baby. Doin’ so good.”

It’s the first time he’s ever called you ‘baby’ and you hope it won’t be the last.

“Steve.”

“I’ve got you.”

The hand that isn’t in his hair trails down his torso and rests above the waistband of his pants for a second. Your hand cups him over his pants, squeezing lightly and finding him hard. Watching you was enough to turn him on, and the thought makes you whimper again.

“Fuck. You don’t have to,” he says, taking a hand from your waist to pull your face from his shoulder, to look at you.

“Want you to feel good, too.”

There’s nothing but honesty in your words, want in your eyes.

“Shit, honey.”

“Will you let me?” You ask, your voice slightly strained from the stimulation you feel, your hips still moving.

“Yeah.”

Your hand slips under the waistband with his consent, and you wrap it around him, your thumb running over his tip. He groans and leans his forehead against yours.

You’re breathing the same air, moving at the same pace, and you don’t think it’s ever felt this right with anyone before. With Steve, you’re not thinking about how you might look and whether or not he’ll like it, you’re only thinking about being with him.

“I’ve thought about you before. Like this,” he says, a quiet confession broken up by heavy breaths.

“Me, too,” you reply in a gasp.

His hands are both on your waist again, squeezing your skin tighter because you have a hand wrapped around his cock and it has his head spinning.

“You getting close, baby?”

“Yeah, Steve. So good.”

“I know. Keep going. I wanna see you.”

His voice is tight, and he’s holding himself back though it hasn’t been long. Your hand is soft, running up and down and he hasn’t been with someone in so long. The fact that it’s you, right now, doesn’t help him last. Just kissing you would be enough, he thinks.

Your rhythm stutters, your eyes squeezing shut, and just like that, you’re tipping over the edge and coming on his thigh.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he hums, low and scratchy. “That’s it. Look so pretty coming on me.”

Your hand pauses where it was jerking him off, too caught up in your orgasm to keep going. You say his name, say it again, and he keeps you moving over him through it all.

“Fuck,” you open your eyes when the last wave draws away, your legs shaking slightly.

It doesn’t take you long to start stroking him again, up and down and back again. Steve grunts and his hips stutter upwards, chasing your touch. It’s your turn to work him through it.

“Gonna come, honey,” he warns you. “I’ll ruin your sweats.”

“Don’t care,” you say, kissing his cheek, the corner of his mouth. “I want you to.”

You run your thumb across the tip again and then his fingers are digging into your skin. He’s groaning and you feel the warmth of his come spill onto your hand. Neither of you had taken any clothes off and still, it’s the best you’ve ever had.

“Shit, honey.” This time it’s his head that rests against your shoulder. “I’m gonna need another shower now.”

You laugh breathily and pull your hand from his pants, wiping it off on the thigh you’re not sitting on, ‘cause they’re already ruined, anyway.

“I’ll get you another pair,” you say.

“In a minute. Can’t move.”

A minute is closer to five, and eventually he lets you go. You hand him a new pair of sweatpants, then clean up in the bathroom and change into different shorts. When you come back, he’s laying down under the covers in your bed. Twin smiles spread on your faces.

“You’re cute,” you tell him.

“So are you.”

You shake your head and flick your light off, the street lights flooding through your window the only thing left illuminating your room. You join him under the covers, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you and pull you into his chest.

Your head rests by his shoulder, one of your legs thrown over his. Having him laying next to you is much more comfortable than being alone.

“I love you,” Steve says, his lips pushing a kiss into your hair.

“I love you,” you say right back.

And then, just like you’d imagined so many times before, you fall asleep cuddling Steve. And just like he’s imagined so many times before, you wake up that way, too.

/ᐠ(๏‸๏)ᐟ\

thank you guys so much for reading spidey!steve i hope u liked it!!!! pls pls consider reblogging and letting me know what you thought, i promise it makes a difference <333

[onlyjaeyun]

MY ONLY ANGEL LOVE ZADIE🫶🏻🫶🏻 CHAP 30???? OMG????? there’s a lot to unpack so i’m going to get right into it:

i had the strongest gut feeling that yn was going to encounter someone on the way back to the appartement and i’m so glad hoon was with her to protect her (which surprised me but also didn’t bc we know he’s secretly in love w/ her but still in denial🙄 or so we think…i feel like this chap he’s slowly realizing that he doesn’t hate her as much as he tries to tell himself he does🫣) but fuck that sperm donor and kenta they are disgusting humans!!!! in a way though i think that’s also what yn needed to offically close that part of her life and move on bc i know she’s always had that tiny bit of hope left.

that little hint about yn’s stepmom being the reason why she quit her dream of skating omg i wonder if sunghoon caught onto that which might lead to the puzzles being put together on how it was a whole big misunderstanding??? zadie the layers to this smau is actually crazy like you are THAT writer!!!

AND WHEN THEY GOT BACK TO THE AIRBNB WHERE HOON TOLD HER TO TAKE HER ANGER OUT ON HIM BC HE KNOWS HE CANNOT LEAVE HER ALONE IN THAT STATE MY GOODNESS ZADIE I HAD TO REREAD THAT PART AT LEAST 8 TIMES

THE SMUT SCENE OH LORD THE SMUT SCENE😵‍💫 crazy. brilliant. toe curling. insane. ALL OF THE ABOVE ZADIE U DID IT AGAIN👏🏼 and hoon cuddling and playing w/ her hair as she falls asleep in HIS HOODIE?????? i’m literally going to reread this chap again in a little bit bc i feel like i need to process it a second time around

anyway so happy that you’re back zadie baby!!! i missed you sm but i am so so glad you decided to put yourself first and take that well deserved break bc your body and brain needed it💞💞 i’m almost done with unpacking and getting my room decorated so my new place is starting to feel like a proper home now!! after last week’s very stressful events i feel like i can finally breathe and take more time to relax 🎀💫 i hope you are taking time to relax also baby, and that this week is treating you well!! love you lots my love💘💘

- 💌

GUYS WAKE UP MY ANGEL LOVE JUST SENT ME AN ASK!!!!!🥺🥺🥺🤍🫧🎀

firstly, thank you so, so much for always making sure to check in despite your life being super busy and stressful right now, i hope you know your asks never fail to make me so happy and just excited and i always feel so grateful for all the love and support you send me 🥺🫧🎀

i really hope things slow and calm down for you as soon as possible, you deserve the rest so much!!!🥺 im so glad things with the apartment worked out and you've finally got the opportunity to settle in properly!!!🫧🩷🩷

and yes yes yes!!!! regarding the part with y/n's step mom!!!! it's such a big and important part of the story and the thing is, i dont wanna spoil but hoonie actually won't realise until it gets to the point where the misunderstanding is revealed!!!!! he'll actually have his aaaah! moment and well....🫣🫣

anyway, thank you again baby, love reading your thoughts on the chaps and just chatting with you!!! take care of yourself, i love you so much!🥺🤍🫧🧸🎀

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 13 discussion post “morning star” part 1 because who are we kidding, this will most likely have many parts

1. so I just want to start off by sharing some side note. I was rewatching the Malec episode (BECAUSE ITS THAT GOOD) and I noticed again that Tessa, ragnor, and Catarina are linked up being more powerful than Magnus. I can understand ragnor and maybe Catarina but Tessa?

2. I’m sorry but how is Tessa more powerful than Magnus? I get she can shape shift but in the show, so can shadowhunters so what power exactly is she holding? I’m not that much of a fan of Tessa (maybe if the writing was better) but in what universe is she more powerful than Magnus? she has a prince of hell as a father but isn’t asmodeus more powerful than belial????? Magnus has been around longer so I would assume that he’s had more time to prefect his magic and find out what other skills they have

3. I just can’t get behind the idea that Tessa is supposedly more powerful than Magnus like it’s not making any sense

4. also if ragnor is more powerful than Magnus- why is he easily defeated? he got hit by a Shax demon and from what we know (I cheated and checked the codex book I have) they can wound living people and lay eggs in them and shit. I’m sorry, I know I’m being extra critical but come on now. I’m still a bit bitter that ragnor was killed off

5. I think this is the issues that arise when doing adaptions of books. you need to figure out how much of that world you’re going to keep because some things will not add up if you don’t. the show stated in the beginning that they wouldn’t be doing the show exactly as the books. (and we all screamed YASSSSSS) if Tessa = powerful than why do shadowhunters have the ability she does? if ragnor is more powerful than Magnus, then how was he so easily killed? LET RAGNOR LIVE OK??????

6. IM SORRY BUT IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE. RAGNOR DID NOT NEED TO DIE. like they didn’t need to keep him in every episode but he could’ve popped up the way catarina did

7. and I do love the show for Malec content as well as Izzy, Simon, Maia, Raphael content but what I can’t stand is lazy storytelling or plot armor. (huge example- TVD) maybe it’s not that lazy because season one with the cgi is not as it’s greatest but they should’ve hired me as a writer. I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS WITH THIS SERIES AND I WOULD HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER THAN CC I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL

8. well, let’s get to get to it 👏🏼

9. “one thing I know for sure jace is that you are not a bad person”- clary. yeah so I’m not going to put any faith in clary because let’s understand clary is the one who is saying that. one terrible person uplifting another one. how fun! who is clary to decide who is morally right and wrong???? girl check thyself

10. “calling off the wedding would’ve been one thing but kissing that warlock in front of the entire institute?” ok Maryse your prejudice is showing once again smh

11. Alec: because he’s a man?

12. Maryse: no I don’t give a fuck if you’re gay alec. I care that he’s a warlock. it’s like one step forward and one step back with Maryse. and if you’ve never seen the show, Maryse does get better and she’s a whole lot better than Robert in the books so it’s sort of an improvement. you just have to let show Maryse be bad for a sec

13. “that he’s a guy is the least of my concerns”- ok so cold hearted Maryse isn’t homophobic just racist apparently FUCKING HELL 💀

14. “even for a warlock, he’s a lothario”- Robert 👀 (YALL KNOW THE SCENE)

15. “so I suggest you deal with it.”- Alec has spoken and he’s leaving no dust and no crumbs and no smoke (I don’t think I did that slang right but A+ for effort)

16. and this is why I will always love show Alec. he really doesn’t care if he hurts your feelings. he’s not going to stand to the side and allow people to hurt himself or the people he loves (I’m talking Magnus and Izzy). I never got the feeling that book Alec was anything like show Alec. his whole purpose is to protect jace and he hardly stands up for himself. Matt said nah show Alec is going to be nothing like that. my boy will tell off all these fuckers!!!!!! I mean, he probably didn’t say that lmao but I can dream and hypothesize or whatever

17. so I couldn’t find the gif of Alec telling Maryse off but I uploaded the whole thing and don’t mind my mess

18. and I know I go on and on about show Alec being better and you’re probably like bitch could you shut up for once but literally HE IS BETTER. I cannot think if Alec actually stood his own in the books. he once told jace off but that’s in the sixth bloody book. like did it really need to take Alec six books to DEFEND HIMSELF AND MAGNUS??????? and eldest curses is an improvement but in no way shape or form will the books ever be better

19. Alec has had on multiple occasions went off and stood his ground in the first season. the gifs below is one of the times:

(and also the video after and telling clary about rules and how they exist for a reason (episode 4) and then once again how she couldn’t understand when follows Lydia’s orders a few episodes later, and also telling Magnus off in episode 12 😭)

that’s about five examples already in season one. season one is only 13 episodes and our boy Alexander has already stood his ground, defended himself, and basically said NO IM NOT TAKING OR HAVING ANY OF THIS.

CAN WE BE PROUD OF HIM??????? I THINK WE CAN

20. I think that was either episode 5 or 6 (I’m sorry my brain is unbrainable) but that’s a good example of alec being like the fuck?????? show Alec doesn’t stand around waiting for excuses. he’s going to tell you what’s on his mind and I love him for that

21. and I know I’m posting stuff that isn’t really about this episode but I also want to share this video that is in episode 11 when Alec goes off on jace because apparently jace always knows what’s best and Alec is not having it. it’s just really important for Alec to have a voice and not be pushed around like he was in the books. I think for a head of the institute to not only be heard, have a voice, plus be a gay man is everything we needed and more. Alec deserves to be heard and to be happy. he’s not a babysitter, he has feelings and emotions. there are rules in place for a reason. but it’s also the hypocrisy of jace. telling Alec off for whatever reason and Alec is all like ??????? bro my sister could have been deruned and you ran off with the cup PLUS almost handed it to Valentine like is this dude for real?????

(I’ll upload the video in the next part)

22. and it’s also why I can’t get behind jace. he doesn’t get better, doesn’t change, or adapt. I seriously don’t get why everyone is so adamant of saving his worthless ass. he never seems to be grateful about it either. Jace is supposed to be the best shadowhunter of his time and so is clary yet they always need saving?

23. so back to Alec going off on Maryse! leaving no smoke, telling it how it is. I love how Alec is saying: I really don’t care if you’re disappointed in me but I plan to get to know Magnus and if that’s a problem then get over it 💀 i fucking love him

24 24 24!!!!!!! moving to part 2 shortly while it’s in the editing stage

[insertshimselfwhere]

omg guys my heart is beating hard💘🥹

What a nice analysis👏🏼🫶🏼 Please never stop writing these things, it's like watching the scene again without knowing anything, without knowing what's happening

And seen and considering that the Polin Season has already "over" (I know we'll get some new Polin content on S4 but it's not the same), finding things that make you feel new feelings is pure gold!

this is the kiss penelope asked for. a kiss. nothing she said implied she wanted more than this little peck..

but this is the kiss colin gave her. this is what he wanted..

and this is the kiss that opened his eyes. this is the brow-furrowing 'oh' moment. this was the kiss he wanted and needed..

and this is where he needed a moment. he needed a second to bask in the afterglow of their kiss before his lips instinctively inched back in to meet hers again..

this is the moment the hope for anything 'more than friends' with colin, ended for penelope. this is where she thought, 'this was just a favor! this was just my friend colin being kind. this is never going to happen again, but at least i had it once'...

and this is the moment colin saw the possibility of 'more than friends' with penelope