#THEYRE STILL TALKING ABT CHICKEN AND FRIES

[thechaoticplayer]

no way these motherfuckers talking about popeyes vs chicken filea or whatever you say it they're literally debating right in front of me I'm just like trying to write smut and these GUYS talking abt these shit

[aemiron-main-backup]

it’s interesting to me that Mike has fried chicken on his tray, whereas Dustin has pizza, and that the other two characters in the cafeteria with fried chicken are two extras who look eerily similar to Barb and Fred. Why is this interesting to me?

This is interesting because fried chicken is what we see at the Hollands’ dinner table in s1, where Nancy doesn’t eat any of the fried chicken because she excuses herself from the table due to her guilt about Barb, where we then get that scene of her mourning Barb in the bathroom/feeling guilty about her death.

So, first of all, that extra who looks similar to Fred is a way of foreshadowing Fred’s death and paralleling his death to Barb’s and to Nancy’s guilt about both of their deaths, since Nancy asked Fred to come to the trailer park and then asked him to wait where he was, just like she asked Barb to come to the party and then told her to go home. In both scenarios, one of Nancy’s friends died (at the hands of vecna too since imo Barb was absolutely not taken by an actual demogorgon) after Nancy brought them somewhere with her + then told them to do something. Nancy even argued briefly with Fred in the car about Jonathan, paralleling how she argued with Barb in Barb’s car briefly about Steve.

Second of all, though, its VERY interesting to me that they’ve put Mike in this cafeteria scene with fried chicken + therefore paralleled him to people that Nancy’s lost. Not only does this tie into Nancy’s vecna vision about Mike’s death + operate as a Mike death flag, but it also ties into Mike’s own guilt about losing people. He says himself in Lenora to Will that he “felt like I lost you or something,” and so, especially considering the other parallels between Barb’s disappearance vs Will’s, and between Nancy’s grief for Barb vs Mike’s grief for Will (theyre paralleled but not identical bc Mike is in love with will whereas Nancy wasn’t in love with Barb), I think that Mike’s fried chicken is largely representative of his guilt about his relationship with Will and feeling like he’s lost Will again.

Plus, in terms of Mike’s food issues, I’ve talked abt this a bit before, but I do think that part of his issues/lack of eating stem from his guilt/depression/anxiety, as well as his repression of his sexuality and guilt about that and how things like the wheeler dinner table are a source of conflict for him, and I need to make a proper post abt this, but there’s definitely existing links between food and queerness in ST. Theres a bunch of examples of this that need their own post, but one of them is the scene with Hopper in the prison where he offers food to his fellow prisoner and the other prisoner says “im no fairy,” and rejects the food. Food is directly tied to queerness in this sense, as the prisoner sees rhe food as something that’s being offered in exchange for gay activity. (however like im gonna talk abt another post I think its tied to queerness via being tied to themes of freedom and not being repressed anymore and so for some people like Mike, embracing that queerness is part of that freedom.) Plus, the mike-el pizza scene is interesting to me because Mike doesn’t eat the pizza, hes still repressed, he’s still not embracing his queerness, hes still not free, he’s still having other people force things on him/tell him what to like. You can’t force freedom onto people, truly cant force them out of the closet because even if you out them to other people, they still may not be out to themselves, may still deny it to themselves, so El cant force Mike to eat the pizza or embrace his freedom. Mike has to do it himself.

And so, not only is food (fried chicken in this one example) tied to greif and loss, but it’s ALSO tied to freedom and queerness: which seems contradictory until you remember what I’ve been talking about in a bunch of posts lately with how Mike’s queerness and his guilt about other peoples’ deaths/getting hurt is completely intertwined, and how its likely going to be used against him in s5. So, even the food choices in the show reinforce that link between Mike’s guilt over losing people and his queerness, as food is associated with death/loss/guilt AND with queerness/freedom.

it’s interesting to me that Mike has fried chicken on his tray, whereas Dustin has pizza, and that the other two characters in the cafeteria with fried chicken are two extras who look eerily similar to Barb and Fred. Why is this interesting to me?

This is interesting because fried chicken is what we see at the Hollands’ dinner table in s1, where Nancy doesn’t eat any of the fried chicken because she excuses herself from the table due to her guilt about Barb, where we then get that scene of her mourning Barb in the bathroom/feeling guilty about her death.

So, first of all, that extra who looks similar to Fred is a way of foreshadowing Fred’s death and paralleling his death to Barb’s and to Nancy’s guilt about both of their deaths, since Nancy asked Fred to come to the trailer park and then asked him to wait where he was, just like she asked Barb to come to the party and then told her to go home. In both scenarios, one of Nancy’s friends died (at the hands of vecna too since imo Barb was absolutely not taken by an actual demogorgon) after Nancy brought them somewhere with her + then told them to do something. Nancy even argued briefly with Fred in the car about Jonathan, paralleling how she argued with Barb in Barb’s car briefly about Steve.

Second of all, though, its VERY interesting to me that they’ve put Mike in this cafeteria scene with fried chicken + therefore paralleled him to people that Nancy’s lost. Not only does this tie into Nancy’s vecna vision about Mike’s death + operate as a Mike death flag, but it also ties into Mike’s own guilt about losing people. He says himself in Lenora to Will that he “felt like I lost you or something,” and so, especially considering the other parallels between Barb’s disappearance vs Will’s, and between Nancy’s grief for Barb vs Mike’s grief for Will (theyre paralleled but not identical bc Mike is in love with will whereas Nancy wasn’t in love with Barb), I think that Mike’s fried chicken is largely representative of his guilt about his relationship with Will and feeling like he’s lost Will again.

Plus, in terms of Mike’s food issues, I’ve talked abt this a bit before, but I do think that part of his issues/lack of eating stem from his guilt/depression/anxiety, as well as his repression of his sexuality and guilt about that and how things like the wheeler dinner table are a source of conflict for him, and I need to make a proper post abt this, but there’s definitely existing links between food and queerness in ST. Theres a bunch of examples of this that need their own post, but one of them is the scene with Hopper in the prison where he offers food to his fellow prisoner and the other prisoner says “im no fairy,” and rejects the food. Food is directly tied to queerness in this sense, as the prisoner sees rhe food as something that’s being offered in exchange for gay activity. (however like im gonna talk abt another post I think its tied to queerness via being tied to themes of freedom and not being repressed anymore and so for some people like Mike, embracing that queerness is part of that freedom.) Plus, the mike-el pizza scene is interesting to me because Mike doesn’t eat the pizza, hes still repressed, he’s still not embracing his queerness, hes still not free, he’s still having other people force things on him/tell him what to like. You can’t force freedom onto people, truly cant force them out of the closet because even if you out them to other people, they still may not be out to themselves, may still deny it to themselves, so El cant force Mike to eat the pizza or embrace his freedom. Mike has to do it himself.

And so, not only is food (fried chicken in this one example) tied to greif and loss, but it’s ALSO tied to freedom and queerness: which seems contradictory until you remember what I’ve been talking about in a bunch of posts lately with how Mike’s queerness and his guilt about other peoples’ deaths/getting hurt is completely intertwined, and how its likely going to be used against him in s5. So, even the food choices in the show reinforce that link between Mike’s guilt over losing people and his queerness, as food is associated with death/loss/guilt AND with queerness/freedom.

[lesbianwilby]

obligatory 📕📕📕📕📕📕📕 in response (the superior book emoji in my opinion)

in entirely unrelated news i just made ramen with bacon (sounds very american ik)

in my defense i wanted pork broth but all i have is chicken bullion so i soaked cooked bacon into my broth w/ the chicken bullion while cooking, honestly this fucks super hard

also didn't have zuccini so i fried cucumber instead, also fucks hard

i DID have homemade chilli oil tho so i added that too. and mushrooms

i just like talking abt ramen ok, there's a fried egg on top

kk im done share fic ideas please and thank you

god that ramen sounds SO good holy shit..... esp the egg mmmmm eggs r one of my favorite foods i eat them a lot LMAO

okok au time i did already tell u ur hearing ab my pokemon au!! so i kinda have all the gym leaders planned out n everything but what im going to focus on in this is the elite four + champion which is!! boatem :D ill be completely honest i dont have anything down for impulse or pearl YET other than their team types (impulse has an electric type team n pearl has a rock type team) but the other three have a bit of stuff

also!!! every pokemon has a link to an image of them :3 including the ones u almost certainly already know LMAO

grian: he's the ghost type elite four member!! i think this is probs a bit unexpected but 🫶 i tried messing w other types (specifically dragon n flying) n couldn't rly make a team that i felt fully fit him yk?? ill be completely honest im very biased towards ghost types so thats probs part of why i chose this for him LMAO

- dusknoir (my pmd bias has struck. this will not be the last time)

- mismagius

- gengar (look at me and tell me grian wouldn't have a gengar i DARE u)

- sableye (its the pmd bias again)

- dragapult

- altaria (fun fact!! im saving a spot on my emerald team for a swablu to name after him :3 i have a grovyle named after scar n a ralts named after mumbo so far)

• he also has a natu he named professor beak!! the natu is a gift from mumbo :3

• he runs a flying type sanctuary!! he takes in any injured flying type pokemon (usually wild but sometimes pokemon released by their owners, usually ones that were harmed by careless trainers + abandoned by other pokemon but sometimes other cases happen) n he cares for them in a sorta rehab program

• reason 4 ghost: he weirdly attracts them?? nobody's sure why but he never fights any of them off n actually welcomes them.. he regularly has a group of sinisteas and a polteageist following him <- i could totally come up w a reason as to why he attracts them n i have some ideas

• while he did go out + catch his team they r all still very closely bonded to him (except altaria who was from the sanctuary, it was released by a trainer n was already pretty powerful n it bonded to him thru care n basically like forced itself onto his team LMAO)

• professor beak does not fight but he does go w grian everywhere. its rare to see grian w/o any ghost types ANYWHERE but u NEVER see him w/o professor beak

mumbo: he's the psychic type CHAMPION! yeah mumbos the champion 😎 originally i considered having there be no champion bc i couldn't choose but then i was like "wait a sec .mumbo was ceo (until he wasnt) he should probs be the champion" hes also the only one to have a team w every pokemon being the type o chose for them so far!! i love psychic types theyre my favorite ralts is my second favorite pokemon + fav gen 3 pokemon (my fav gen) which is why i have one named after him :3 i chose psychic for him partly cuz bias partly bc i thought it was funy to have mumbo of all people to be a psychic type trainer

- espeon

- lunatone (was planning to have pearl have one on her team so this might not be set in place?? or maybe they both have one idk)

- musharna

- gothitelle

- meowstic (havent chosen what gender his is n probs never will 🫶)

- gardevoir (RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this totally could read as pmd bias but its not i just adore this line sm every time i play rse i have to have one on my team idc how long it takes me esp since the spawn rates r kinda low)

• so .he originally didn't want to be a trainer LMAO

• the only pokemon he had for YEARS was an eevee n he never planned to get more

• obviously that didn't stay that way ^_^ one night he got kinda cornered by .idk some fucking pokemon n his eevee tried to help but hes literally never fought a battle w it before so it didn't go too well n waoh omg guess what saves him!!!!! a ralts!!!!! yes this is like .cheesy or wtevr no i dont care its my pokemon au i can do what i want

• after this mumbo is like "o shit mayb i should train my pokemon" n he catches the ralts n trains both it n his eevee up n along the way catches the other pokemon on his team (mostly in similar situations to the ralts .psychic type pokemon r attracted to his swagless charm <33)

• n eventually the eevee evolves into espeon!! wow omg who couldve seen that coming

• anyways yea he became a psychic type trainer completely on accident n kinda became champion just for fun 😭 n when he beat the og elite four in whatever region they're in n the champion he just kinda left n like a few days later he gets a call n it goes like "hello?" "hey yo mumbo ur the champion rn .u got a battle to fight some guy wants to fight u" "HUH?"

• somehow nobody told him that beating the champion made u the champion ?also the guy who wanted to fight him was grian 🫶

scar: grass type elite four member!! yea kinda predictable but it FITS ok

- roserade

- abomasnow

- whimsicott

- sawsbuck (its form changes w the seasons so this is the summer form!!)

- mawile (realizing now theres a lot of gen 3 within these teams wow i wonder what games i played growing up Clueless)

- alcremie

• scar my beloved in this au .hes actually the leader of the evil team LMAO

• fun fact !he has a different team for that (lmk if u wana see it i have it planned too) n a different outfit n shit n hes like "oh surely nobody knows its me Clueless" everyone knows its him

• him + his team doesn't do enough bad shit for anyone to kick him off the elite four or do anything ab it or anything LMAO

• cubs the other leader in case u were wondering

• i dont think his team needs an explanation

• HOWEVER like grian he also has a pokemon that he goes everywhere with but never battles w!!! his is a skitty named jellie :3 bc ofc i had to fit her in (n ofc .to nobody's surprise out of any cat pokemon there is i chose a gen 3 one)

these r all the details i have completely planned?? i def have other things down in my head i just haven't typed it all up yet 😓

[iloveallmyexes]

ok this is gonna be a lot bc a lot happened this week tw: calorie counting, sexual language

ok so lets start with the positives! i had a rly good week restricting aka fasting and going to the gym. i started taking a new anxiety medication on top of my other two prescriptions but ive already noticed that im not as nervous in public, which is amazing! i went to the beach yesterday which was really fun! i also got 3 of the small squishmallows! i got a stone buddha, a lightbulb, and a hamsa! they r so cute!

ok now for the times i stressed over food this week. i hung out w a friend and we were talking and bonding over our issues w binging. the only difference is i dont really think she has issues restricting. im not invalidating her struggles with food though. i only mention this bc we both were hungry as fuck bc we were talking abt food and then she suggests we get krispy kreme….…… so im like…… haha ok…. and so we both look at the menu. shes looking at it to see which one looks yummiest to her and im fucking frantically opening and closing tabs looking at nutrition facts of every item on the menu with my screen brightness low as fuck so she cant see. and then she says “should i get one donut or two” and a lightbulb turned on in my head! i said “ill get one of the donuts u want and give u half” she said “no u should eat a whole donut bc u deserve to eat a whole donut” i was so faded i shouldnt have said that bc it probably made her feel bad. but like???? how am i going to justify all those calories to myself? one donut is more than my average daily caloric intake. i decided to get donut holes since theyre 45 cal each and i was just going to eat one or two and order an iced black coffee ofc but there was a rly long line so we ended up going to carls jr bc we both hadnt had dinner (or breakfast or lunch muahaha) and we were gonna go to in n out and i was going to get a veggie burger w no spread, add chopped chilis BUT my friend has never had carls jr and there was one across the street and idk we ended up going and ugh im still upset over this shit. i ate a whole burger and a small fry. i thought i was going to throw up on the spot. anyways i went home and went on a full binge. and by that i mean, i had a candy bar, a chicken wing, and a diet coke. idk it was just all junk food i rly felt gross but eating the hamburger made me remember how good food can taste and being full makes me feel complete but also that was my first time being high in a while so realistically i just had the munchies. anyways. the next day was fine. i got poke for lunch i wanted to fast bc of how bad my binge was but i was out w my family. it had spring mix, radish, cucumber, spicy tuna, shrimp, seaweed salad, and wasabi and i gave half to my mom. i was busy yesterday so i didnt track my calories for lunch and honestly im so stressed abt that shit im gonna do that right after i post this. ok and then my friends and i went to a pho place for dinner and i got fried tofu. i only ate 2 and i was genuinely still full from lunch and they were so oily i hated myself for it. and then i had a fucking churro at the beach. im so embarrassed at how fast i ate that shit. like….. :( and then my friend wanted to go to mcdonalds! so ofc i couldnt resist and i ordered a 4 piece mcnugget happy meal. my friend ordered a sprite and a 10 piece mcnugget but they messed up and so we only got the 4 piece and a medium sprite. so i gave her 2 of my nuggets which was perfect actually. i still felt rly gross when i got home. both nights i wanted to purge but there was no where for me to do it. i couldnt do it in front of my friend and i couldnt do it at home bc i wouldve woken up my family. i thought abt purging in a random parking lot on the way home but it was 2 am and i didnt wanna get kidnapped. i weighed myself this morning though and i still lost a pound so yeah idk maybe i was stressed over nothing lol

ok now for the weird shit. i have this friend who is queer and im the last person to think someone who is attracted to girls is automatically attracted to me. but. they made me so uncomfortable last night. before we picked them up my other friend told me that theyve talked abt my body multiple times when i wasnt around or said it quietly enough so i wouldnt hear… and like i feel like thats disrespectful to me as a friend. so anyways we were talking and someone said “group sex” and that friend says “i like group sex? yall arent down huh” and i know its a joke but they do that shit all the time. they’ll make a suggestive comment, hoping we’ll take their bait even though im straight. and then at the restaurant we were seated at the table and that friend stood up and was like “sorry are my boobs in your face haha” …….. im sorry but like imagine a straight guy has a queer friend who did the same shit but was like “sorry is my dick in ur face haha” thats just uncomfortable for anyone, especially if that person has already made it clear that they are sexually attracted to you. at that point i was just grossed out. my other friend told me that they made up a story abt me just to talk abt how big my titties are. they said that i have to squeeze through the door to their balcony bc i have big titties but ive never even been on their balcony. its just creepy. honestly i dont like the way i look at all but i think there are ppl who are attracted to me and they show it to me in weird ways and i think they think bc i maintain my friendliness towards them, that they might have a chance w me. my brothers friends go to our gym and apparently one of them said that their other friend said i was pretty. which is just weird and idk why they would tell my brother that someone said that abt me. and then his other friend said that he thought i liked him bc i was “giving off a vibe” and “giggling” its so fucking gross it makes me wanna never leave my room. one time i was hanging out w my friend and his friend and another girl and afterwards i was trying to tell this guy that he’s too clingy for something thats supposed to be casual and he was like “but we went on a double date” i didnt know the other two ppl were a couple. i thought we were just grabbing lunch. its weird. one time i was hooking up w a 30 yr old who gave me free weed and then he told me he loved me after we fucked. it was gross. idk where im going w this i just have been thinking a lot abt how ppl perceive me lately.

[sirengf-moved]

oh boy 1) 2, 5, 7, 10, 15 || 2) 3, 7, 9 || 3) 6, 7, 20 || 4) 4, 9, 27 || part five is embarrassing so none of that shit 💓 || 6) 2, 4, 10 || i gave u so many because i lov u but i'm also fucked up 🍊🌿💐💓

mars i lov u , also don’t worry i’m vain and i love answering questions abt myself so this works perfectly 😌🍯☁️✨🍓🍃 HOLD ONTO UR BUTT THIS IS A LOT :

( part 1 ) 🍨

Have you ever cut your hair yourself?

a: as a kid i think i got something stuff in my hair , gum or ? i’m unsure it’s a foggy memory but i just cut my hair and my mom got soooooo mad bc we had a friend who was a hairdresser and we didn’t tell her or anything and we just cut it , tbh it was pretty liberating but at the same time i don’t remember if i did a good job or not 💀

Do you collect anything?

a: mmm, jars ...... me telling myself i’m gonna gather jars for spellwork and i never actually do it so i just have a shit ton of mason jars , emptied candle jars , small flasks with cork screw lids all sitting around my crystals and incense ect....... rip me.

Are you a fan of bread and butter?

a: yes! i eat fried bread w/ light butter for breakfast most mornings , probably unhealthy but like.......it’s very yummy..... 😔

Have you ever almost died?

a: ive almost drowned at least 3 times, this racist dude thst i almost beat the shit out of nearly ran me over on my way home with his redneck truck ( forgetting i knew where he lived ) , almost asphyxiated myself by swallowing melted chocolate at least 3 /4 times , almost got into a head on collision at a 4 way once, when i jumped from the side of my grandfathers sailboat onto the docks i wasn’t considering how big the leap was and landed fine but almost fell back and would’ve been crushed between the boat and dock , and i thought i was going to die when this homeless man glared me down intensely at the local burger king as i ate my chicken and lowkey cried bc i was also going through an emotional meltdown ( unrelated to said homeless man making vicious murder eyes at me , but that sure didn’t help lol ) i’ve also died a lot in my dreams / almost died in dreamscapes ..... long winded answer but hi mars i’m also fucked up 😌

Favorite animal?

a: GELADA MONKEYS! LOOK THEM UP PLS THEYRE AMAZING I LOVE THEM! BIG FLUFFY BOYS!

( part 2 ) 🥧

Do you believe the butterfly effect is real?

a: hm... i feel like every action mayhaps has some sort of consequence but personally i’ve been seeing that like, how can this be true when you have billionaires who use slave/sweatshops/prison labor but yet are rewarded with vast riches? how can you have all of these people of power constantly doing bad , horrible things and not getting their karma? will they get it ten fold? down the road? is their karma their internal struggles? do they not have any moral qualms? are they MAKING the karma for others? these are questions i constantly ask myself to be quite honest....

Do you believe in witches and/or magic?

a: yes , for the most part. there are some i believe because i can feel it , their energy and majesty in the way they hold themselves and how they view the world, some people just scare me with how they go through life with such certainty on everything, certainty terrifies me to be honest. i do definitely believe in magic! it’s in everything! from someone cooking you something that you regularly cook but it tastes better bc they made it? magic! it’s everywhere! and also practical magic ( spellwork / spirit work / deity & entity work / tarot & oracle ect ) it all interests me and i love talking about it , to people who also believe and practice and KNOW AND RESPECT CULTURE/ HERITAGE / CLOSED PRACTICES! c:

Do you believe in anything mythical/supernatural? (Bigfoot, Mermaids, Vampires, etc.)

a: sorta , i’ve had too many rhythmic taps / scratches on my window in the deep hours of the night to not believe. i’m not sure if i believe in vampires as in modern mainstream standpoint but i’m pretty open to just about anything existing..it’s just this world is so weird and i’d be naive to think that just bc i can’t perceive it with my own eyes, it just simply doesn’t exist... u know?

( part 3 ) 🍡

If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in?

a: i ain’t no snitch. also kinda depends on the friend, bc i wouldn’t turn anyone in regardless ( unless they killed someone innocent / were a budding serial killer omg ) but like do i answer calls? rarely , am i also the one everyone always goes to? yes. either way i’d prolly help you bury the body, answering the phone however? another story. ( who am i kidding i’d be so excited that a friend wants to talk or smth then get roped into this whole drama episode )

Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing?

a: YES , STORY TIME! okay so i was like 17/18 and i liked this guy and at the time i thought i was being soooooo oblivious about it , but like a few months later a friend was like ‘ did u like so and so? ‘ and i was like ‘ was it that obvious? ‘ and they were all like ‘ painfully ‘ and to this day i still get randomly reminded by my brain how stupid , cringe worthy and weird i acted , like my brain is relentless in reminding me how fucking fat of an L that whole crush thing was........ 🙃

How would you react if you had a secret admirer?

a: depends, ive had ‘secret’ admirers who turned very obsessive in my past, so i’m naturally wary , but idk if someone thinks i’m cool i have no problem with that , but if you put me on this weird pedestal then i have a problem ... 🤲🏽 td;lr : id be as humble as possible bc then i’m reminded i’m perceived.

( part 4 ) 🍰

Favorite actress?

a: lupita n’yongo!!

Favorite type of food?

a: savory / rich/ salty food, i don’t really care for sweet foods ... or fried foods ? i don’t like large portions either tbh, i like to feel full not like dead lol. my favorite types are either seafood or seafood coupled with steak and other assorted meat and sides .

Favorite sport?

a: i liked playing volleyball, i like watching soccer and occasionally college football ( ik ik.... ) but i also love watching women’s professional gymnastics!!

( part 6 ) 🌯

Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single?

a: i don’t think so.... no! it sounds like smth i’d do on accident or smth tbh ... but not smth i’d do purposely!

Have you ever done anything illegal?

a: yes! lots of things! but i’m not gonna list them all here, nothing too serious but lol yes haha

Ever lied straight to someone’s face?

a: daily occurrence tbh, i’m really good at lying , i had to get good at it as a kid in order to avoid shit so 😌 now i can convince gross men that i’m in a relationship with a huge weightlifting bouncer and we have 3 kids and hes on isle 6 and will be back soon when i’m in walmart and some creep attempts to talk to me too much! and they’ll believe me.......

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18

IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:

“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”

GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS

do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,

OKAY HERE WE GO

She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.

i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right

"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"

cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that /see glynda pacing a dent into the floor cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,

On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.

HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.

i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.

She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.

i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.

It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.

the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,

(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)

That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.

/chefs kiss

autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,

Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.

OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,

By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”

To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.

SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--

Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K

winter rn:

She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.

okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,

Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—

Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.

i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,

also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot

Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”

winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,

It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.

OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,

/reads the next bit

oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.

It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.

Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,

“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”

It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.

im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.

What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.

The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.

THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,

She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.

it’s just like clockwork,

also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end

/checks

no its lengthy this is a thicc one,

“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.

you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”

Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”

YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,

Glynda told Winter everything.

OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.

The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.

dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’

okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?

She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”

ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4

OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.

With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.

Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.

At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.

Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk

ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,

(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[49scribes-a]

Lavi: I--

Kenny: Nah. Gotta take on one.

Lavi: Y'know what Lavi: zombie sized chickens

Ben: .....i dont kn o w Ben: are the chicken sized zombies still slow

Kenny: No, but they're dumber than the zombies.

Ben: ....ok then those

Lavi: dumber than? How so?

Kenny: Zombies still follow base instincts. They can track ya across a continent sometimes. Kenny: Chickens just. Sit there and be birds.

Ben: ...tho zombie sized chickens would. have a lot of meat on 'em. -NOW HES LEGIT THINKING ABT IT GG MIKE-

Lavi: True.

Kenny: ...True... Heh. It'd be a helluva lot of free food.

Ben: ...second thought, ill take those

Lavi: ........

Kenny: -lowkey la ug hs- easier to hunt too, 'cause theyre bigger

Lavi: helluva way to die

Kenny: Hah. Truth.

Ben: 'least no one would forget how you died

Kenny: Imagine tryin'a fry that though.

Kenny: naaah you gotta carve it up, right Kenny: skin it, cut it up

Lavi: yep

Ben: dry some of it

Kenny: Yeah, true.

Ben: youd be set for /so/ long

Lavi: okay so better question Lavi: would chicken sized zombies be fast? Lavi: because let me tell you Lavi: I've played Minecraft

Ben: -sn OR TS-

Lavi: *lavi y this*

Kenny: ... Kenny: Well... Kenny: They're /chickens/ Kenny: Of course they're quick.

Lavi: No I mean the zombies that are chicken-sized

Kenny: Ah. No. Kenny: They'd probably be slow as molasses. Like the Blob.

Lavi: *strokes chin* Hm... slow, small zambies, or a year's supply of chicken at the end of the world?

Kenny: They go at the average 'shuffle' speed. And they're...tiny. They'd probably go about a meter in one day. Hah.

Lavi: *snorts*

Sitara: ..so Sitara: what did I zone back to? - kinda gets off her phone- Sitara: why are we Sitara: talking about zombie chickens?

Ben: ...chicken sized zombies and zombie sized chickens -@sitara- Ben: which would you rather fight

Sitara: mmmm chicken sized zombies

Hige: I'd rather be eviscerated by a chicken than bit to death by toddlers.....

Ben: okok but zombie sized chickens Ben: think of all the food

Lavi: *laUGHS* Lavi: Same.

Kenny: All that delicious potential fried chicken. Hah.

Sitara: but you can kick Sitara: chicken sized zombies

Ben: ok but: food

Lavi: Okay but if they're just big chickens who says you even gotta fight 'em.

Kenny: ...Oh God she has a point.

Ben: ///food tho///

Sitara: but what if the meat is tainted?

Kenny: Imagine fuckin' punting one of the tiny bastards through a football goal.

Ben: ....when ur starving u dont care

Sitara: you'll care when you're dead

Lavi: Okay but isn't everyone infected anyway?

Ben: ...yeaaaah

Lavi: Okay okay but Lavi: Consider this

Kenny: ...maybe you'd build up an immunity -sno rts-

Hige: I don't know about you guys, but I'd be riding me a 6 foot tall chicken into battle.

Lavi: Human sized chickens lay really big eggs, probably??

Kenny: ...True!

Ben: likE I SAID, FOOD,

Sitara: ... it'd be like Final Fantasy

Kenny: Perfect food source.

Lavi: BEFREIND THE GIANT CHICKENS

Ben: e x a c t ly

Lavi: CREATE THE CHOCOBO RACE

Ben: new food source Ben: which i am SO down for

Kenny: ... Kenny: If I can manage to find any surviving scientists.

Lavi: I always said th' world needs more chocobos

Kenny: I will make them create a giant chicken.

Ben: if they aint working on a cure, get them to make huge chickens Lavi: Okay but if you got a bunch of Brahma chickens and selectively breed them you could probably do it without scientists

Ben: .....we just gotta find the chickens

Lavi: WE JUST GOTTA FIND THE CHICKENS

Kenny: Well...I ain't got chickens, but I have an eagle.

Ben: ...god if we didnt move around so much we could totally make this a thing?? but travelling w chickens Ben: would be hard Ben: ...theyre noisy

Sitara: just carry them Sitara: befriend them

Ben: like i said, noisy

Kenny: Like 'clucky cluck, come eat me zambo'

Ben: YEAH BASICALLY Ben: which no?? i dont need that

Sitara: cover their mouths

Ben: ...cover. their mouths. oh my god Ben: do you want me to tape it shut, sitara

Arvo: can i just mention how weird this conversation is

Sitara: yes

Arvo: bc it is

Ben: -hE LAUGHS- sor rR Y ARVO

Sitara: tape the beak Sitara: it's fine

Arvo: -sno Rts- n O JU ST Arvo: IT IS. VE RY RA ND om

Kenny: ...so arvo, how do you feel abt us finding chickens and carrying them around,

Sitara: don't be /chicken/

Ben: just,,, gonna tuck a chicken into the bag,,,,

Arvo: oh my go d -he l augh- i space out Arvo: for five mintues

Ben: we're adopting chickens, arvo

Kenny: Ah-ah, hol' up Ben. Kenny: You need the Chicken Adoption Papers.

Sitara: if Wrench can adopt a robot you guys can adopt chickens

Ben: ........the government has fallen apart Ben: i dont–– i dont think adoption papers mean anything Ben: -he laughs-

Kenny: I know. I'm fuckin' with ya. Kenny: -snickers-

Ben: ill just–– write it on a piece of paper Ben: 'i do what i want'

Kenny: Like Ron Swanson?

Ben: //rebel// Ben: ...yeah

Kenny: Heheh.

Sitara: ...Ben as a rebel Sitara: would be something

Ben: im hardcore!!

Lavi: *chasing chickens here chickie chickie chickies cOME TO DADDY*

[chickenfetus]

softly whispers all for the flower ask

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with

chickens/eggs

lance lol

cereal….. everyone in class is stealing my trademark…

water

memes

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

fuck,,, my fav characters?? and if i like someone then them i guess? but rn my heart belongs to 2d

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

mm it changes?? right now its either this cover (its in japanese) or this song (english but its a tad bit scream-y)

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

its all soundtracks from anime lmao,, 

from kimi no na wa’s soundtrack we have this, this and this 

from free!’s ost we have this song that killed every mh shipper lol 

and lastly, not from an anime ost, its shelter 

none of these actually help me fall asleep but i like them,, hell i dont think theres any song that can help me fall asleep

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

miyu//keis does this ensure it doesnt show up i hope it does i recently followed them while lurking in the mi//sawa tag lol theyre a good graphic person??? idk what theyre called;;

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

the succulent things but i wouldnt be able to care for it bc i succ (perfect match)

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

im a sunny day and rainy evening person… ok maybe sunny day if im not directly under the sun because i do enjoy the sun’s warmth rainy days are nice too,, only if im indoors.. rainy evening is perfect,, as long as no bugs can get it im safe and secure and chill

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

blue!!!!! is sky blue a shade

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

a cat…..

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

ok ive had dreams every night this week but now i cant re oh wait i do remember last night’s dream but only the lame part,, ok so i dreamt i had a 4* hina on bang dream..,,, i dreamt of another thing but i forgot :-( the 4* was indeed a dream though sad i havent gotten a single 4* yet lmao my luck is awesome oh but i did get a 5* and two 4*s on enstars so thats cool

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

cotton candy,, has flavours????? 

cookies and cream!!

i like water juice

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

none??? i guess i paint when i have to although i rly wanna paint but im just a lazy fool

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

i dont use make up i am a youngin also what does the second question say i dont understand

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

neither lmao i have a fear of butterflies and bees… bees fear me i fear bees its mutual fear i like cats better but i like dogs too

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

yes,,, i was gonna ask if it was even possible to have a favourite but then i remembered i do actually one although its more of a jellybean thing its poifull!!

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

mermaid bc i wanna live in the water

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

ok i just finished acca so naturally i still think abt it and jean called nino his ‘partner in crime’ so nnow i want one (a partner in crime i mean not a nino but thatd b cool 2)

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

yes i havent been in a pool in like 3 years oh boy,, breaststroke is the easiest lmao i forgot how to do any of the others

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them

softshouyous, well i followed her bc she talks in her tags so thats one thing,, shes also super nice?? and helpful!!! a good friend and mutual!!!! im also comfy enough with her to like,, be sarcastic and we can shame each other freely.. without worrying abt offending one another,, theres also the fact that she understands me (ok this may b what i like 2 think and falen actually doesnt get me but its COOL) idk man i just love her,,, my bud whens our one year friendsivary i gotta search that up :0

(i almsot forgot to do the rest go me anyway) next is,, youhavebeentraceyd bc shes one of my first mutuals (sorry to the one who was actually my first) who i actually talked to!!! we both watch daiya and i didnt rly follow anyone who liked daiya previously and oh!! we had the same notps LOL i love tracey’s art and hell i think she dragged me to mochi hell kudos to u tracey idk i jsut enjoy her presence on my dash and get v excited to see her art on there we may not talk as much anymore but i still appreciate her a lot!!! bless u tracey and thank you!!! (for being alive i wish u all the best in life)

alpacarara i like her bc shes basically my tumble mum,, the mum i actually talk to and ask for help/advice she gives good advice too and shes v approachable,,,,,,, a v good friend,,,,,, u r appreciated by me,,,, yes........... shizu chan also appreciates ur existence momther,,,, thakn u 4 all youve done 2 helpme a good pal.... bless u,

clearly these r  getting hard bc my mind is goddamn empty rn but ill manage,, kacchan whose url is not spelt like that but thats ook bc one day it will be but now im starting to think i shouldnt leave it as that bc someones bound to stumble upon this extra post in the kacchan tag goddammit,, annYWay i like kacchan bc theyre friendly! and also v relatable,,,, theyre also kinda scary but thats ok bc its the good kind of scary idk man kacchan is just, great?? we dont talk but thats cool bc ik we’re still friends even if we dont have full blown convos!!!! id b 2 nervous 2 talk 2 them not bc theyre bad or anythign im just a ??? a bad conversationalist and also v lazy ok  thats besides the point i like kacchan bc kacchan is kacchan so??? theyre a good friend and we tag each other in things and i like that friendship its a good type of friendship,,, idkdkdk?? theyre just. chill not literally chill but just chill. this doesnt make sense anymre gomenasorry

lAST ONE uh hhhh every one of my mutual’s blogs why i like all of them?? bc theyre not problematic!! they post good content trademark and r lovely even if we dont talk much!!! i love everyone period

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

i am more of a Disaster in the kithcen

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

u guys shld b surprised yall even exist (if i am the True Parent)

if not,, then itd b u guys r with me and my partner in crime,, who is actually a real person,,,,,, be shocked idk im just trying t o make it clear that in the event i do get married id surprise myself bc me/?? have a good and lasting relationship????? impsossible 

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

they shouldve told me to stick with cereal

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

doe s lance count

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

was this supposed 2 say sunrise,,,, anyway sunrise i guess bc im a morning person (when i WILLINGLy wake up by myself) on hot ass days sunset bc then i wont b sweating 24/7

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

yEAH LOL i wake up early on weekends bc i want to and i have to wake up early on weekdays so,,, i prefer not to sleep later than 12am bc i am Fear and in the event that i do sleep later than 12 its bc im talkin 2 a friend i like a lot

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

water tea english breakfast,, havent had that in awhile tho

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

i have non

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

i have nnone but i dont even nickname my pkmn so 

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

depends? on the tme??? if its late at night id rather b asleep and cozy if its in the day then maybe.. .. .

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

i like all of my food plain and dry (cereal) unless its noodles,, i need my noodles iin soup

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

drinking water

[noctourniquet-remade]

tagged by @trash-cactus​ :Þ

1. Are you named after someone? 

yea my middle name is after my aunt and my first name is after fucking drew bledsoe (my dad really likes the patriots smh)

2. When is the last time you cried? 

like a week ago idk i was mad but thats all i got

3. Do you like your handwriting? 

its sweet, it looks like like im trying slightly too hard to be cute and isnt that real

4. What is your favorite lunch meal? 

at school iced latte and a fuckin bagel? at home usually i dont eat lunch but maybe leftovers if theyre good or fuckin, toast and coffee

5. Do you have kids? 

no but im still a dad

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? 

if we could actually get talking, fuck yeah i would bc i wouldnt be convinced i was annoying myself

7. Do you use sarcasm? 

yeah sometimes but i tend to sound like im always being sarcastic

8. Do you still have your tonsils? 

yeah. boring question op

9. Would you bungee jump? 

uh id be apprehensive but probably once i actually got off the ledge itd be sick

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? 

rice crispy....... im a simple man (lucky charms are sick too but u cant get em here)

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? 

usually dont but like........ boring question op

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? 

mentally uh, not strong but resilient sure? physically nah

13. What is your favourite ice cream flavor? 

cake batter from cold stone fuckin... kill me its so good

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? 

eyes? voice? idk

15. Red or pink? 

red but salmon is also nice

16. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? 

least fav physical thing is the amt of shit i cant physically make myself do. bad question op

17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? 

no shoes black cords

18. What was the last thing you ate? 

bacon... not good stuff tho

19. What are you listening to right now? 

my moms watchin a fuckin, soap opera or smth

20. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? 

that one teal color

21. Favorite smell? 

bleach/chlorine

22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? 

probably calling a taxi

23. Favorite sport to watch? 

i dont....... give a fuck shit about sport

24. Hair color? 

dyed red but naturally like blondish brownish kinda gross

25. Eye color? 

blue (i almost typed red fr some reason like god...... #edgy)

26. Do you wear contacts? 

nah ive got good eyesight

27. Favorite food to eat? 

buffalo wings, lemon chicken, basically all stir fried noodles, sticky rice n mango

28. Scary movies or comedy? 

comedy.... im jokes

29. Last movie you watched? 

end of evangelion

30. What color of shirt are you wearing? 

its white wth a rainbow across the titty and the polaroid logo

31. Summer or winter? 

i like spring :()

32. Hugs or kisses? 

both make me real god damn anxious bc im a withered translucent cave rat

33. What book are you currently reading? 

edwidge danticat’s krik? krak! for english class hfhhsdf its a good book but not one i like... chose to read

im tryin to start reading the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy (not going so well bc fuckin.... adhd)

34. Who do you miss right now? 

uh i cant think of anyone right off which means that i dont wanna put anymore thought into it and end up missing someone. right?

35. What is on your mouse pad? 

i dont have one but i ironically want an anime titty mousepad

36. What is the last TV program you watched? 

uhhhhhhhhhh a snippet of a Pair of Kings rerun on disney xd

37. What is the best sound? 

fuckin... drawbar organ when used well in a song always murders me

38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? 

kinda dont care about either but the beatles are more nostalgic bc my dad played their stuff a lot

39. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? 

god i dont even know? cambodia? pittsburgh? both are a safe bet from my current geographical location

40. Do you have a special talent? 

playing piano is def a highlight

41. Where were you born? 

newfoundland in a hospital that no longer exists

42. People you expect to participate in

taggin everyone who likes to talk abt themselves idk... go for it if u want

[carriefisherscokenail]

GUESS WHO HAS TO ANSWER ALL THOSE QUESTIONS TOO

eat my ass! 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?my girlfriend

2. Are you outgoing or shy?depends on the sitch 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?im seeing sierra in like 2 hours so her 4. Are you easy to get along with?i think i’m alright5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i think so6. What kind of people are you attracted to?the nice kind7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?i think so 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?colbert my dad who is drunk in hawaii right now :////9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?no all i do is make jokes abt sex im 1210. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?who even knows11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?it says i cant wait to see you either!!!!12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?ooooooooooooo1) hot knifer by peach pit2) alrighty aphrodite by peach pit 3) storms by fleetwood mac4) california dreamin’ by the mamas and the papas5) one by birdtalker 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?i luv it14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?nope not really15. What good thing happened this summer?this whole summer was really good but being in wa was probs my favorite part16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?duh17. Do you think there is life on other planets?aliens r REAL18. Do you still talk to your first crush?nope19. Do you like bubble baths?i love all baths20. Do you like your neighbors?not really, i like the people who live two doors down though21. What are you bad habits?smoking and biting my lip22. Where would you like to travel?everywhere?!?!?!23. Do you have trust issues?i think a little bit24. Favorite part of your daily routine?sleeping25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?the whole thing26. What do you do when you wake up?lay in bed, get dressed, do my makeup, have coffee, leave27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?a little darker would be nice28. Who are you most comfortable around?my best friends29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?nope

30. Do you ever want to get married?i dont know31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?yes finally32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?obama and jesus33. Spell your name with your chin.no34. Do you play sports? What sports?none sports35. Would you rather live without TV or music?ugh probably music but its tough36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?no i don’t think so

37. What do you say during awkward silences?i start screaming 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?a possum39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?i love thrift stores lol 40. What do you want to do after high school?go to university and all that jazz41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?not everyone42. If youre being extremely quiet what does it mean?im probably tired as fuck43. Do you smile at strangers?all the time44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?how abt i kill myself instead

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?my alarm clock46. What are you paranoid about?someone breaking into my house

47. Have you ever been high?yes 48. Have you ever been drunk?only 8 days a week!!!!49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?uhhhh no50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?i don’t rly wear hoodies so i don’t know51. Ever wished you were someone else?oh yes 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?i wish i was taller53. Favourite makeup brand?i don’t rly have one54. Favourite store?i like urban outfitters 55. Favourite blog?dicnysian ;)))))))))))))))56. Favourite colour?yellow!57. Favourite food? hmmmmmmm i like strawberries a lot and any sandwich with cucumbers on it58. Last thing you ate?p(ass)ta

59. First thing you ate this morning?p(ass)ta60. Ever won a competition? For what?uhhhhhhhhhh i don’t think ive ever won anything61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?LMAO I GOT SUSPENDED FOR VAPING IN A TRUCK ON CAMPUS 62. Been arrested? For what?no63. Ever been in love? yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?i don’t remember it lol65. Are you hungry right now?mmmmmm yes

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?ive only got like one tumblr friend left (@ emma)67. Facebook or Twitter?facebook68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?nope70. Names of your bestfriends? squidni and colbert71. Craving something? What?im hongry but idk what for72. What colour are your towels?uhhh all sorts72. How many pillows do you sleep with?a billion73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?nope74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?like i have 1 left i think75. Favourite animal?pups76. What colour is your underwear?black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?vanilla with sprinkles78. Favourite ice cream flavour?vanilla with sprinkles79. What colour shirt are you wearing?purple

80. What colour pants?blue

81. Favourite tv show?ahs is a hell but i also really love parks and rec and grace and frankie is getting up there

82. Favourite movie?but im a cheerleader is my fave but i tonya was RLY good83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?what kind of animal likes mean girls 2 more than mean girls 184. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?mean gorls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?uh idk the mean girl86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?nemo

87. First person you talked to today?squidni or sierra i can’t remmeber88. Last person you talked to today?uh squidni89. Name a person you hate?BROOKLYN LMAO90. Name a person you love?squidni 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?BROOKLYN LMAOOOO92. In a fight with someone?no93. How many sweatpants do you have?like 394. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?like 3

95. Last movie you watched?i tonya!96. Favourite actress?sarah paulson duh97. Favourite actor?i love miles teller98. Do you tan a lot?no never99. Have any pets?two doggios100. How are you feeling?alright101. Do you type fast?ish102. Do you regret anything from your past?like everything i am literally filled with regret103. Can you spell well?i think so104. Do you miss anyone from your past?sure i do105. Ever been to a bonfire party?i think so? ive been to parties with a fire idk if that counts106. Ever broken someone’s heart?who knows 107. Have you ever been on a horse?yes i used to take horseback riding lessons108. What should you be doing?cleaning109. Is something irritating you right now?not particularly110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?oh yes111. Do you have trust issues?you already asked this112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?my math class113. What was your childhood nickname?hoo boy lets not114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?i live in a different country from the one i was born in115. Do you play the Wii?i love the wii

116. Are you listening to music right now?hell yeah!117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?love it118. Do you like Chinese food?LOVE IT119. Favourite book?fried green tomatoes probs120. Are you afraid of the dark?nope121. Are you mean?i dont think so

122. Is cheating ever okay?only on tests bby123. Can you keep white shoes clean?i cant keep black shoes clean124. Do you believe in love at first sight?no

125. Do you believe in true love?hmmm i think so

126. Are you currently bored?yeah127. What makes you happy?getting drunk with my friends128. Would you change your name?in a heartbeat129. What your zodiac sign?Libra130. Do you like subway?yes i never eat there though

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?tell that mans to snap out of it132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?you asked thiss too!133. Favourite lyrics right now?every lyric in storms by fleetwood mac134. Can you count to one million?in theory i could135. Dumbest lie you ever told?when i was little i told someone i was allergic to deers136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed137. How tall are you?5′ 2″138. Curly or Straight hair?mines wavy i guess

139. Brunette or Blonde?im a redhead

140. Summer or Winter?summer141. Night or Day?night142. Favourite month?july

143. Are you a vegetarian?lol nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?milk chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee?thats tea hunny146. Was today a good day?it was alright so far147. Mars or Snickers?snickers but only if theyre frozen148. What’s your favourite quote?i don’t kno149. Do you believe in ghosts?sort of150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Hark! I hear the legions coming, (Hear the cries of triumph well,But, proud Caesar, dead I scorn you, Egypt, Anthony, farewell.) 

It’s from a poem in this book i stole from my dad

[aemiron-main]

it’s interesting to me that Mike has fried chicken on his tray, whereas Dustin has pizza, and that the other two characters in the cafeteria with fried chicken are two extras who look eerily similar to Barb and Fred. Why is this interesting to me?

This is interesting because fried chicken is what we see at the Hollands’ dinner table in s1, where Nancy doesn’t eat any of the fried chicken because she excuses herself from the table due to her guilt about Barb, where we then get that scene of her mourning Barb in the bathroom/feeling guilty about her death.

So, first of all, that extra who looks similar to Fred is a way of foreshadowing Fred’s death and paralleling his death to Barb’s and to Nancy’s guilt about both of their deaths, since Nancy asked Fred to come to the trailer park and then asked him to wait where he was, just like she asked Barb to come to the party and then told her to go home. In both scenarios, one of Nancy’s friends died (at the hands of vecna too since imo Barb was absolutely not taken by an actual demogorgon) after Nancy brought them somewhere with her + then told them to do something. Nancy even argued briefly with Fred in the car about Jonathan, paralleling how she argued with Barb in Barb’s car briefly about Steve.

Second of all, though, its VERY interesting to me that they’ve put Mike in this cafeteria scene with fried chicken + therefore paralleled him to people that Nancy’s lost. Not only does this tie into Nancy’s vecna vision about Mike’s death + operate as a Mike death flag, but it also ties into Mike’s own guilt about losing people. He says himself in Lenora to Will that he “felt like I lost you or something,” and so, especially considering the other parallels between Barb’s disappearance vs Will’s, and between Nancy’s grief for Barb vs Mike’s grief for Will (theyre paralleled but not identical bc Mike is in love with will whereas Nancy wasn’t in love with Barb), I think that Mike’s fried chicken is largely representative of his guilt about his relationship with Will and feeling like he’s lost Will again.

Plus, in terms of Mike’s food issues, I’ve talked abt this a bit before, but I do think that part of his issues/lack of eating stem from his guilt/depression/anxiety, as well as his repression of his sexuality and guilt about that and how things like the wheeler dinner table are a source of conflict for him, and I need to make a proper post abt this, but there’s definitely existing links between food and queerness in ST. Theres a bunch of examples of this that need their own post, but one of them is the scene with Hopper in the prison where he offers food to his fellow prisoner and the other prisoner says “im no fairy,” and rejects the food. Food is directly tied to queerness in this sense, as the prisoner sees rhe food as something that’s being offered in exchange for gay activity. (however like im gonna talk abt another post I think its tied to queerness via being tied to themes of freedom and not being repressed anymore and so for some people like Mike, embracing that queerness is part of that freedom.) Plus, the mike-el pizza scene is interesting to me because Mike doesn’t eat the pizza, hes still repressed, he’s still not embracing his queerness, hes still not free, he’s still having other people force things on him/tell him what to like. You can’t force freedom onto people, truly cant force them out of the closet because even if you out them to other people, they still may not be out to themselves, may still deny it to themselves, so El cant force Mike to eat the pizza or embrace his freedom. Mike has to do it himself.

And so, not only is food (fried chicken in this one example) tied to greif and loss, but it’s ALSO tied to freedom and queerness: which seems contradictory until you remember what I’ve been talking about in a bunch of posts lately with how Mike’s queerness and his guilt about other peoples’ deaths/getting hurt is completely intertwined, and how its likely going to be used against him in s5. So, even the food choices in the show reinforce that link between Mike’s guilt over losing people and his queerness, as food is associated with death/loss/guilt AND with queerness/freedom.

[shytiff]

Small August Wins

1 - DL, did my part for PKP, read a bit about leprosy reaction (PKP related), watched a cute movie tune in for love, ara stayed over at my home, edited 1 pld article

2 - exercised a bit, edited 3 pld articles, DL, finished ppt tinpus PKP, walked to the nearby lake with ara, ate nasgor smoked chicken (been a while!) and jco donuts and my tummy is happy, felt afraid with DV exam huft. I hope I can prepare myself properly

3 - DL, edited 1 article, went to school together w ara, deep fried by dr adhi for my minicex (but i am grateful for the opportunity), emir took a while to pick me up (he left home 1530 and arrived 1715) so i did some status work, arrived at home super hungry but moms food is delicious and wow glucose is finally in (after previously supported by nasi uduk and 1 jco donut) and the pain from today sort of fades away.

4 - DL, tried to study as much as i could (the panic is real), went to kencana to get dr adhis signature at 12 but he replied my chat at about 1330 🙃 , finished self reflection, group called with my group for exam prep

5 - did not DL bcs i fell asleep!! Thank god for streak freeze, met up with dr adhi in poli regarding minicex bcs turns out he brought my status etc, hes very kind 🥺 dr yudo kindly took his time to answer questions via wa voicenote even though he had a tiring day 🥺 bless all the kind people in this world

6 - DL, alhamdulillah passed the exam with dr sondang and dr larissa even though i was being a dumb ass student (thankfully theyre patient enough). Honestly panicked during the morning, i was super afraid. Searched some drug dosage for renata. I hope she passes the remed!!

7 - slept and lazed all day :( edited 1 article, dv closing. Managed to say thanks to dr yudo even though i was lowkey near tears bcs i cant for the life of me say something even mildy emotional, DL at like 15 mins before midnight

8 - finally at lvl 3 DL by cheating with my notes lmaoo, ate burgers and half pizza by dcheese pizza but had mencret2 the next day lmaooo, watched bosscha virtual sky sightseeing

9 - DL, watched Summer Vacation, edited 2 articles, put some sheet mask on (the numbers surely diminished since my cousin took some 🙂 ), pretty much watched youtube all day. At night i dreamed going to a villa that kinda looks like matamori, and the villa near it was also booked by other groups of friend, and i was recording snow falling from the sky and snow on the cliffs, but there was also a snake under the bed, and writing patients resume -_-(?)

10 - DL, read pem psikiatri cbt batch 1 optima, 25 CBT PADI, a fruitful 2,5 hr discussion with dr Heriani, SpKJ

11 - DL, poli with mendel hari and dr Khamelia, SpKJ, mustered some courage to do the ppt, phoned the patient to ask a little bit more, fell asleep and thank god i’ve prayed isya

12 - DL, lazied and played get rich, felt sick and was sick, nose congested, head starting to hurt, i dont know what is it that triggered my emotions but when my dad asked "tiff kok bersin2?" i felt like i have no privacy and they were too intruding and i wept silently in my room (bcs ppl outside can hear) and yall my nose just goes 100% blocked. aint accepting air today. Massaged my face around the sinus area until i can somehow breathe nicely and fall asleep. (took about half and hour of snot cleaning, drinking and mulling around)

13 - since i felt bad abt lazying i started my day early. Woke up at 5. Put on tretinoin, 15 CBT PADI, DL, naskah psikiatri WIP (Work in progress). It rained today. The sky was grey half of the day, which I LOVE. I felt better and more cheery, especially at abt 4-5 pm when it was raining hard and im snuggled in bed. The laptop stand arrived and bitch it was fucking amazing. My back and neck muscles felt less awkward and/or sore working at my ergonomically-awful table and chair combo turned ok thanks to laptop stand!!

14 - DL, poli with dr cika, crashed aras place (drank thai tea, ate flip burger and sausages), it felt refreshing to be in a different place rather than seeing my room all day everyday. Afterwards ara indah and i ate po noodle bar, the taste was kind of herbal (not brothy) in a good way. Tried some sort of gyoza, it was good too. Juan got accepted at USU civic engineering. Went to atikahs place, passed a red light and i got ppl a bit annoyed lmao sorry :(((, talked with atikah until 1-2ish pm

15 - richeese and fried rice for brunch time, went back home (felt socially refreshed!) to see 2 bottles of sbux coffee i ordered, claras nastar and vit d supplement from tokped. Did RPS and ikhtisar for naskah. DL. Sbux' coffee still upsets my stomach lmao but it did keep me awake and focused enough til 11 pm

16 - DL, after staying over at friends place i feel.suer content to be just at home. Ate while watching erna limdaughs vids, sleeeept

17 - DL, naskah WIP, whipped myself to go do naskah by drinking caramel macchiato and playing coffee - bts. It tasted better when i hear jks soothing voice

18 - DL, finally panicked a bit and did ppt, read a bit abt bipolar, chugged hazelnut dolce latte and somehow its not bitter anymore it actually tasted good. Talked w mendel and hari a bit abt the patient

19 - the dr actually showed up to zoom while i was opening other screen and i didnt realize (ultra embarrassing!!!) basically my diagnosis for axis I and II were wrong. She was kindly explaining and i was more dissapointed with myself but at least its all over? Talked w hansel a bit. Revised a bit of naskah. Submitted hardcopy of naskah and refleksi to mbak Asma. Went to ara. DL, ate gwen's dimsum (quite good and fulfilling). Planned to go to kashiwa but we ended up getting bakmi akiaw. Went back "home" to DM, took only 35 mins.

20 - DL, slept half of the day since im on my period (what even is daily structure), woke up in the evening, decided to start “the folk of the air” series. Binged the first book in one go, from 8 pm to 1 am lmaoo

21 - DL, finished the series at night. it’s nice but not as good as six of crows duology. bts comeback with dynamite!! :) i love them. its scary to think they are still progressing and going up and getting better stats. When will it all stop?

22 - discussion with dr natalia spKJ at 7.30 am, DL, drank matcha latte at starbucks airport hub (been a while! It doesnt taste quite good as i remembered) while backing up HD data at drive and some padi CBT (finished TO 3. After all this time, only to 3?!), felt a bit better after i went out, read a falling cohabitation again

23 - DL, danced to baepsae, slept in the afternoon (my body is too weak nowadays)

24 - DL, psychiatry closing, 1 pamela reif vid, 2P (CBT PADI)

25 - DL, made latar belakang for propeks nemo

26 - DL, 4P, rapat nemo

27 - DL, met up with atikah pupuy @ toska, tried yogurt and fruit, mac and cheese, vegan mentai rice and had dinner @ bakmi gm. mom somehow told (and allowed) me to go back home (it was 9 am and i was abt to stay over at atikah’s)

28 - DL, i dont feel like doing anything helppp, i know there’s stuff that im supposed to do but i cant bring myself to do it. a week will pass by, a month, and before you know it exam will arrive

29 - DL, ordered burgushi, i literally have no strength to go at static bike (can only do for a couple of mins), didnt rly do anything else bcs im in a slump nowadays

30 - its scary that the month is almost over again. my life just goes away like that but i still dont feel like doing anything, DL, tried to follow some dances on youtube to move my body

31 - DL, 2A, 4P