#THEYRE ALL SO FINE LIKE WHAT. I will have all of your babies PLS

[illegal-spiegel]

What if…I said…I was…a whore 😳

[weirdsht]

cale with an s/o that's mothers so hard (coos at the averaging 9 year olds, bakes/cooks for the knights, plays and trains with the wolf children) – absolutely soft for kids, loves cuddling the children and cooking for them^^

Biased Concern - Cale/Reader

notes: I combined 2 asks because the premise was similar

tags: fluff, no gender specified for reader, novel spoilers (war)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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another anon said: omg!! regarding the small preview you posted,, like there's the part in the novel where on and hong are in the eastern part with Ron and Beacorx while Cale has 3 days to live and smth smth + Raon going through his first growth phase (I don't really remember) so his s/o is in despair bc of the situation and they're like– ONE OF MY BABIES IS SICK AND ONE IS DYING AND THE OTHER 2 I DONT EVEN KNIW WHAT THEYRE DOING WAHHH 😔😔 that's all bye ✊️

Things are hectic. War is ongoing. Everyone is on their toes. Commander Cale Henituse is nowhere to be seen. Roan Kingdom’s Crown Prince Alberu Crossman is in a state of shock.

In short, things are chaotic.

However, it doesn’t look like that on the outside as most don’t have an idea what’s going on. Only very trusted people know just how everything is on the verge of being in shambles.

“I’m sure you were shocked your highness. Please forgive him. He has this terrible habit of throwing fast ones at random times.”

That was the first thing you said to Alberu as you entered his tent. The golden-haired man was already busy as it was. Now he has to cover and fill up Cale’s missing presence.

“I think I’m getting used to it now.”

You let out a short laugh at his response. Alberu said it with a nonchalant tone however his face conveys just how much of a headache Cale brings him. But it wouldn’t be Cale if he didn’t bring a headache.

“At least eat while you work your highness.”

Pushing the cart closer to where the crown prince is, you presented the foods cooked for today. On the plate, there’s a medium rare steak paired with some vegetables like asparagus, mashed potatoes, and others. It’s a simple meal, but it has all the nutrients and protein one would need. 

“Did you help cook this? You were fighting earlier you should’ve just rested.”

“It's not a bother at all Your Highness. Seeing everyone energetic is enough to make me energized as well.”

You smiled at Alberu as he started eating. Humming in approval at your cooking.

“When are you going to visit Cale?”

Alberu stopped eating for a second to ask you a second. You stayed silent at his question, deeply pondering about it.

On one hand, you wanted to visit him and check how the children and he is doing. On the other hand, you are still needed in the Gorge of Death. Especially since the others are gone. Your complicated thoughts did not go unnoticed by the quarter elf. He can easily tell just how worried you are for your significant other but also thinking of your responsibilities.

“Just go.”

“But Your Highness as Cale’s Deputy Commander–”

“Are you going against the word of the crown?”

That made you shut up. However, you were still hesitant. Cale’s absence already puts so much on Alberu’s plate. His responsibilities will overflow if you go away too.

“It’ll be fine. Just make sure to come back quickly. While you’re at it tell that punk to get well fast too.”

Alberu waved his hands. Telling you to go now, leaving no room for argument.

“I… Thank you, your highness.”

Soon enough you are inside Hope and Adventure Loving Inn. Specifically, you were inside Beacrox’s kitchen making sweet treats for everyone.

Just outside the kitchen the staff, the previous mountain bandits, are whispering among themselves. They’ve never seen anyone freely enter the chef’s territory so this is a shock for everyone.

“Thanks for letting me bake Beacrox! Take this portion and share it among yourself and the other staff.”

You smiled at the tall man with him only responding with a bow of gratitude. As you go out of the kitchen you see everyone acting a bit weird. It was so obvious they were trying to look busy while eavesdropping. One of them was even feather-dusting another employee’s face.

“You’re here nya!”

“We missed you nya!”

On and Hong greeted you respectively as Ron guided you upstairs. Indeed, you haven’t seen them since the opening of the inn. You said you were going to visit but things got delayed because of everything that happened.

“I missed you too. Now go share this among yourselves. Make sure to leave some for your youngest brother.”

You hugged the two for a bit before asking Ron to show you where Cale was. As he showed you the way you reluctantly let the two children go. Promising to play with them more later.

“I must warn you. The sight inside is unsightly.”

The servant warned you before opening the door. Sure enough, it was. The first thing that caught your attention was the foul stench of blood.

Speaking of blood, Cale was super bloody. He keeps vomiting blood like a water pipe with a leak.

“Oh my…”

You unconsciously said. The two heads lying on the bed turn to you. With Raon’s expression brightening up.

“You visited!”

“Well, I did promise to visit your siblings.”

Smiling, you welcomed the toddler into a warm embrace. Behind you, Ron excused himself to give the three of you privacy.

Cough!

A certain redhead deliberately coughed out blood louder than before. Clearly unsatisfied at you saying that you came to visit the children.

“Of course, I came to visit you too.”

You laughed, walking towards the bed to give your significant other a kiss on the forehead. The bed dips as you sit down on it, with Raon still in your arms.

“I take it that you successfully got the water ancient power? All this blood must be from your plate fixing itself then.”

One of your hands was stroking Cale’s hand while the other one fed Raon the singular cookie you had brought with you inside the room.

Cale’s eyes looked at you. Probably examining if you were hurt somewhere while being away from him. He then frowned as he saw you feeding the chubby dragon. Your gaze travels to where he seems to be looking and the jealousy makes you laugh.

“Yes, I made it. Yes, there’s still some left. Yes, I already prepared some greasy food to cook so you eat later after you’re well. No, I will not stop feeding Raon. Don’t be greedy, you already have most of my attention.”

The commander’s frown etched deeper in his face as you said the last part. His gaze seems to be asking you if you’re really concerned about his well-being.

“Of course I am.”

You chuckled.

“I wouldn’t left the Gorge of Death if I wasn’t silly.”

Pushing his hair back a little, you gave his forehead another kiss. Reassuring him that you didn’t just go for the children.

Later on, when Cale was feeling much better he asked you if you only got together with him so that the kids would favour you.

“Silly man, I don’t need to be with you for the kids to love me.”

“That’s right nya!”

“Certainly nya.”

“I’ll like my human’s human even if you aren’t together!”

The defeated Cale could only click his tongue in annoyance.

[scremogirl]

HEAR ME OUT PLS!... reader whos fine w casually/non casually/no romantic fucking... this prompt is sickening LITERALLY as long as reader gets birth control/condoms theyre ay-okay with it

(doesnt need 2 be added:D FIND WHAT U THINK SUITS UR WRITING ATM)

example js

reader scrolling on their phone while nerd is rearranging their guts

or

council president railing reader while theyre in a mating press on a chair

or

childhood friend who didnt even have to ask you to take care of their problem since middle school(?)

seems like NONCHALANT!Reader but this reader just doesnt care abt what they want and just cares for their friends...in their own way...Add whatever u like sosa!!!! <3

stawppp it.

(presents an AFAB reader)

Yandere! Nerd has been so pent up lately and never has time to relive his stress. With all the club meetings, preparing for college and the love of his life ignoring him, it's obvious he's got a lot on his plate. Therefore, when he finally has the time to let loose, there's no way he could bother with protection.

"Please, baby? I know how much you like it raw anyways. You're still on the pill right? oh what he hell, it's not like you care that much. You have been a little snippy with him lately so he deserves this much. The only problem with is that you can't be bothered with putting in that much effort. So here you are now laying flat on your stomach while Yandere! Nerd pounds your brains out.

"Ugh fuckkk angel, it feels so gooddd," his heavy breathing and the light blush on your cheeks make you clench around him harder. You make him pull out as you roll yourself over on your back. You grab your phone again as he shoves himself back in you. You angle your camera to where your hips meet, occasionally aiming it at his face. He cums so much that when he pulls out some of it lands in the camera lens.

!Ping!

Angel😇💕💍: 1 attachment

Angel😇💕💍: srry I can't be there tdy. cramps and what not.

enjoy this instead :p

When do you get off your period again?

Sigh. How's he supposed to work like this?

Yandere! Council president rubs his temples and lets out a deep sigh of frustration. The council is having an after school celebration along with some club members because of last weeks fundraiser.

They did well but someone needs to count all of the funds and there's no way he'll trust anyone else do it.

He stands from his chair opening the door, on his way to tell them to keep it down bug to his surprise your on the other side of the door.

"What're you doing here?"

"I go to school here," he sighs at your blunt behavior.

“Yes, I know that. I mean what are you doing at school after hours?" you held up a bag of food and he already knew what you were gonna say before you said it. He opens the door to let you in, relived that at least one thing can cheer him up.

"Besides." you continue

"I'm horny. I was gonna get a quick one out before I went back but then I remembered you were here. I can obviously see your not feeling well and Im in the mood for something rough: take it out on me,"

The chair bangs against the table as you legs are pressed against your head. Who knew you were this flexible? He'll have to keep that in mind for later, right now he's focused on shooting his load as deep as he can. The music outweighs your moans and isn't until you here a loud bang on the door that you stop.

"(Y/N)? You in there? We're about to start truth or dare. Julie's gonna dare Chris to jump ass naked into the school pool. You don't wanna miss it." says a voice from outside the door.

“I’ll - fuck I'll be out in a second. Ate to much, ugh dip y'know; a little full," and with that they leave.

Yandere! CP turns your face towards him with an animalistic sneer.

"The only thing you'll be full of is my cum."

Please take a plan B 🙏🏾

(You guys are seniors here!!!)

Everyone's masturabted before, let's be honest.

Curious minds wanting to feed their growing sexual appetite. So when Yandere! Childhood friend came to you about his little problem, it was your duty as his best friend to help.

"(Y/N) it hurtssss! Just look how red the tip is!" on queue it twitches and pulses under your gaze.

Jeez the guy has no shame does he? He grabs the base, stroking his hard cock under his strong palm. It didn't take you much conniving since you were already on your knees before him.

"Oh shit baby! Gonna let me pump it all down your throat? Ughh, gonna-gonna milk all of it outta me princess I swear,” he says between pants, continuing throat fuck you. His orgasm nears as he grabs the base of your neck and forces you down on him. Spit and cum dribbling down your child and into your chest. He paints your face and swipes his fingers on your face before forcing it back into your mouth. After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees sitting on the couch turning on Lilo and Stitch.

"Make some popcorn for us will ya?"

You literally suck the soul outta him and then ask him to do something other than go another round; he’s gonna do it but damn 😭

[sips-tea-cutely]

If it's not a problem, can I request Poe, Dazai and Chuuya comforting their small chested fem s/o? Smut or fluff is fine!

Poe, Dazai, and Chuuya with a small-chested s/o

a/n: me when i handle rejection because she said “no pls why do i have to hold her hand” so u wait for her to finish her assignment so she’ll text u again and then u accidentally fall in love w dazai again

#edgar allan poe

just doesn’t have an idea at all at how to approach this

would probably think about it while he’s sleeping and when he wakes up makes the decision to buy a dress that compliments curves and w his paycheck it’s probably made of woven gold 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

he’d leave it on your bed with a note “date at 4? ill come to get you”

honestly its just a very casual date???? he’s wearing his normal attire and you’re wearing this most-likely ¥10,000 dress with a loosely knitted jacket, be careful bestie u might get robbed 💀💀💀

my first idea for poe was what if he made a book and then u read it and ur boobs got bigger and the mystery of the book was u have to figure out how they got bigger i cant take myself seriously

#osamu dazai

all boobs are so hot to him, he is for the most part bitchless 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

at first he’d probably think it’s a little silly yk but since it’s one of your insecurities, he’d still think about how it matters to your feelings

he understands your feelings of insecurity but he’d also not know how to approach it so he’d instead suffocate himself in them and praise them like a gift from god

he sleeps on them. wherever you are, if dazai is tired, he’s throwing all his weight onto you, probably has to slouch just for that experience too LMAOO

bet he’s semi-consensually???? groping you 👎👎👎👎👎 the agency most likely has to host a sexual harassment in the work place and then dazai makes the argument “but she’s my girlfriend WTF”, it’s just a disaster oftentimes

#chuya nakahara

takes this VERY seriously, he made the relation that it’s like his insecurity about his height and now he’s gonna do anything to make it better

tight clothes? make sure it’s silk; expensive lingerie? anything to make you feel confident; implants??? hey baby, did you know mori is a surgeon…

something that i can imagine so vividly is just chuuya hugging you from the back and lifting his arms till theyre under your boobs i dont know why

whenever you’re feeling insecure, you can 100% count on chuuya to start listing the thousands of things that make him grovel at your feet hes so down bad guys

best bf out of all of them, OUT OF THE BSD VERSE

[kamiversee]

okay. i know what we’re all thinking

THE READER IS SO HOOTTTTATATT

Who she talking to like that😫 DAMN SHE WAS BEING SOOOO SO SO CONFIDENT AND I LOVE THATTT. Fuck if i was ino id be rushing to the bathroom too tf.

OH MY GYATTT BRO OMG SHES SO BAD I NEED HER SO BADDD THIS MADE ME FEEL SOME TYPA WAY🫦

if i was gojo, id be obsessed too

if i was choso, id be possessive too

if i was toji, id give in to my student too

if i was nanami, id take her home after the first night too

if i was sukuna, id have a soft spot for her too

if i was geto, id make her my fuckbuddy too

if i was yuki, id be flirting with her too

fuck me man shes so bad i need her so bad yall dont understand the typa shit this made me feel. I KNOW SHE IS TECHNICALLY ME AND ALL OF YOU BUT IDCCCC

LOVE IS LOVE

I NEED READER SO BAD PLEASE MAKE A READER X READER AHHHHH IM GOING INSANE OVER HERE SHES SO HOTTT I WISH I WAS INO BRUH

ino too with his fine ass🙂‍↔️🫵👅🫦🙈

GOD damn i love ino. my man my man my man.

him switching up had me twitching turning jumping twisting and shaking in my chair. omg OMG POWER COUPLE POWER COUPLE FIGHT ME IDC THEY BELONG TOGETHER

SHED BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TEASSING WITH HIM WHILE HES WORKING AND HED JUST TRY HIS BEST NOT TO LET HER DISTRACT HIM

god i love them.

theyre so hot FUCKCKCKCK

his switch up…

HIS

SWITCH UP!!!!!!

👣👅👅👁️💋👂🏼💄

🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️

im running all over the damn place i need ino and reader rn

whos gojo? whos choso? MAN I ONLY KNOW READER🫵 and ino 🤤

im actually gripping the sheets after reading that. THEY NEED ANOTHER CHAPTER TOGETHER OMLLLLL

FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE IN TFL WHY WE ALL ARGUING OVER CHOSO THIS GOJO THAT????

INO AND READER HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG YOU GUYS OPEN YOUR EYES😻😻😻

(gojo still my man dont play🫦)

god i cant get over her🤭 the strap IS

READY MA’AM

Talking abt that. THE “YES MA’AM” FROM INO…

INO PLEASE THEY ARE OPEN🫦🫱(())🫲 (forgive me)

I WANT YOU SO BAD OUUU BABY I WANT YOU SO BAD👅👅👅🫦

^^me when reader🤣🤣🤣😂😂

RAHHHHHHH READER INO SUPREMACCYYCYCYY🦅🦅🦅🦅

-🍦

HELP ME PLS😭😭 NOT YOU SIMPING FOR THE READER? HELLO?

I guess I might need to write more dom readers after all… 😅 Happy to see you enjoyed it!! Luckily there’ll be more Ino content sooner or later (probably on @kamitv) sooo stay tuned for tht :))

This whole thing made me giggle btw

[theoldoor]

fenrir lore maybe

“those eyes, child. who did you steal from?”

left over crumbs of a thief

—- fenrir lore time :3

two thieves with weird ass eyes

sooo fenrir lore timeee :3

i wanted to make his eyes similar to that andalusite over there but keeping a cooler colors because, well, kiwis LOL

i was on a hiking trail and then i stopped by a kiwi stand and i was like “hold on that looked like fenrir’s eyes” and it actually works so well as his eyes cuz this is what i planned to make his eyes to be LOL

but lore time,

I rewrote fenrir’s lore a bit so his origin is a weebit different now,

>group of people following harmony decided to be evil and borrowed powers from the abundance to mix species together to in hope, make a superior humanoid and piss off the aeons

>kinda success but they gotta borrow powers from obsidian’s race (vampires and shi)

>they make a deal like “ok we throw all the waste babies to you to eat alr you vampies”

>fucked up chimera human babies thats get fed to the vampires like a bunch of them

>those that can function gets sold off

>getting more success and selling these fucked up chimera babies off/human trafficking cuz theyre versatile with genetics and shit

>commissioned by a big vampire family to fulfill their weird little fantasy story

>>”hey so i want you to make my family generation’s oc come alive but we this gotta follow this weird ritual too cuz its my family prophecy to piss off the harmony”

>the ritual involved a bunch of sacrificial babies and even more fucked up chimera babies and like 34 people died and have a part of them taken off to merge into this living thing

>weird ass abomination of a baby, barely functional

>”ok chat this is going well we need the last step who got the gems”

>”oh shit the gems is in another persons hand”

>so they went and stole the gem from obsidian’s family / at the same time making contract with this weird entity that has something to do with destruction path

>>”ok i give you gems but you gotta let me have a piece of that weird baby thing youre making too.”

>>”alright what do you want”

>>”give him horns and make him real sexy ok”

>>”what”

>>”pls”

>>”why”

>>”i want to take him after the vampires died out and i dont want this ugly slug of meat in my basement”

>>”ok”

>with the power of destruction he became his beautiful entity that the family drooled on cuz how can someone be so angelic looking yet bear the traits of the devil? “DAAYUMMNN U FINE ASF BABYYY” “what im a literal baby” “we’ll wait for u to grow up” “w h a t t h e f u c k”

>>”hi im daughter i will be your mom but i am like 6 years older than you”

>>”ok i will expect you for love and attention”

>>”sorry i am being manipulated by my own family so i disregards my actions even though i knew its wrong but i seek comfort in it”

>>”ok your actions are normal to me”

>>’thanks son”

>>”YAYY IM YOUR SON!!!”

>>abusive family can provide a roof, they provide all the physical necessities for him to live but shunned him out until theyre bored and they wanna play (like a pet lolol)

>live with the rich family as a premium house pet now but doesnt realized it CUZ BRO HE WAS A KIDD

>before he was frail so he has to rely on understanding ppl to get attention, develop weird obsession w it. became close with other servants/slave of the said family.

>ok but grow strong and now physically capable harhar

>put through extensive training and shii so he grew even more desperate and attached to the family out of fear

> other servants jealous GET HIS ASS!!!

> oh shit the daughter is doing smth

> fenrir gets more scared and overly dependent on the daughter cuz in his eyes she was the figure he could rely on

>the daughter’s mental conditions gets worse and she wanted her moms attention too so she jus started gambling, (hurt ppl hurt ppl lol)

>>generational trauma ahh

>puts fenrir as a bet

>FUCKK SHE LOSTTT

>fenrir was passed and used around as a premium house pet, “magazine model”

(BLOOD WARNING NEXT DOODLE)

>>(this is heavily implied but not explicitly stated) “convincing” other people to join the vampire household as a cattle/slave etc, contributing in its human trafficking business (astarion?!??!)

>was first auctioned for thousands of credits but after a lot of events, which he had marred himself in hope of either getting cared for or totally discarded away, the price was reduce to less than a hundred credit on his last ‘sale’

>>tried to kill himself but cant die cuz they keep reviving him cuz he’s this chimera superior humanoid baby

>”fuck yall ima pray to the lord (random god he found i havent decide yet I was thinking Ena) answer me pls save me chat- OOOUHHH SHITTT”

>container carrying him crashed, landed in Wasteland of the Galaxy, Talia

>nomadic clan Avidity was passing by, “Ayo who is that baddie” - Aelyn (another oc)

>picks up fenrir and realized he could read so he joining the team now

>well respected for his work rather an appearance, hell yeah jigsaw u da goat

>talia lore I LOVE THIS BUM

[tincanton]

my thoughts on jrwi ep 110 :DD

- THEY FUCKING EXPLODED????

- NOT THE FUCKING STICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

- LET THEM HAVE THE STICK YOU MONSTER

- honestly glad chip cant get another deal because thats double fucked

- erm i dont think you should let niklaus decide when the dread queen comes back maybe its just me but that seems. KINDA BAD :DD

- dude not. dont call him papa possibility :((

- CAPTAIN ROSE CAUSED IT??????

- THE STICK 😭😭😭

- yeah chip lost something valuable alright THE STICK. oh yeah and his heart too I Guess 🙄🙄

- [looking at his exploded friends] u alright? ._.

- theyre speaking spanish :> my beloveds.

- augh chip and queen hug :(( i love them so much :(( also WWHO TF IS QUEEN need their backstory asap

- OH MY GOD AAAUGH THE REFERENCE

- "nice forearms. and nicer staff :))" "did you just walk up and say that to me???" 😭😭 (did not even listen to the entirety of the old campaign) (like one episode at most)

- "M̶͈͉̌͐Y̵̼̆͂ ̵͕͆͆T̸̩͖͌͆I̶̘̐̇M̸̭̲̔̇E̵̯̜̍͒ ̶̝̀H̴̲̹͊͌Ą̷͌̅Ș̴̛̉ ̴͚͝Ċ̴̬O̷̻͚̊̕M̴̲̭͐̉Ë̷̢͉́͘.̶͈̰͐̀" "should we call them back who was that :}" gilly my silly 

- awh chip and jay conversation :(( jay feeling guilty because chip had his heart taken away because she didnt get her limbs taken off (girl its okay nobody wants to be amputated) and chip reassuring her that its fine even though its definitely not fine

- get that leg fixed goddamn. dont hide it no-

- Tree Powers Activate >:D [tree powers do not activate]

- "that barrel you sleep in? thats made of trees!" "but... it doesnt have any branches..." 

- starts weeping sexily

- what is happening. i cant keep up with their silly banter this is so funny help

- "H̴͔͌͊Ę̵̢̂̔Ẻ̴̯E̷͓̓͛Y̸̱͂͑Y̴̤̹̅Ỹ̷̧̪Y̷̘̆͝Y̷͓̙͆." "omg i didnt know you were chill like that."

- idk if anyone noticed but gillion is my silly. my favorite little guy if you will. gilly. he is my everything. he is bantering with a tree.

- HELP JAY AND CHIP ARE JUST STANDING THERE

- GOD DONT LET GILL ASK THE TREE AHAHAHHSHDHSHD

- "do u like blue color or red color more?? :∆"

- HOW MANY TREES ARE THERE??? NONONONONO GILLY DONT DO IT-

- "what do they call you?" "how long until you die :3"

- HELP GILLION WIKI. LISTENING TO JRWI IN PUBLIC IS SO HARD IM SO GLAD I HAVE A MASK BECAUSE I CANT STOP SMILING OMG

- Gillion Motherfucking Titty Sucking Tidestrider

- omg the prophecy lore pls i need the truth too

- i did not understand any of that but cool

- "who are you without your titles?" "i dont know" ow. okay.

- god i hate how jrwi can go from so funny to so emotional so quickly. i love it. i hate it.

- albatrio my beloved. my found family

- "if the world explodes, at least we get exploded together :))" aw... i think...

- "what do you see in these fishy eyes 0-0" "what color are gills eyes?" "Bloo :]"

- GRAGHH GILL ASKED WHAT THEY SEE IN HIM. THEY SEE A FRIEND. THEY SEE FAMILY. THEY SEE A GOOD PERSON. HURGH. IM GONNA THROW UP. THEY SEE SOMEONE WHO WILL LAUGH WITH THEM WHEN THEYRE IN DANGER. GOD IM GONNA BE SICK.

Gill: What if there's nothing?

Jay: Have you enjoyed it?

Gill:  I think I had a pretty rough start, but yeah. Even the worse parts. Maybe more than I should have. Yeah I have.

Chip: Then fuck it.

Jay: That's all that matters.

OH SO YOU WANT TO HURT ME. OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

- "Even if its all inevitable I'm glad we got written in the same story." Dont. Dont do this to me.

- HELP NOT THE INTERVALS OF GILL JUST BREAKING DOWN IN BETWEEN SENTENCES

- NO LITERALLY DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE DECK OF MANY THINGS PLEASE

- noo haha chip dont pull a card from the deck of many things youre so sexy hahaa (i already made this joke befo

- "gambling is not destiny"

- woah theres a wicked looking sword in the corner

- BABY BLADE????? yeah were movin on.

- dont eat chip's hotmode swords pretty please

- charlie has made nuh uh and yuh huh a part of my vocabulary this sucks

- istg if "it is what it is" becomes the new "it is my destiny".... 

- naw gill trying to defy the gods by not sleeping 😔😔 bbg just go sleep

- they gotta get outta here man i dont wanna know what happens if they get too many corruption points jays ALREADY AT 5...

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARL???? HELP LMAO

gill: Oh Well you know if you need anyone Else to cast the spell for you... Maybe theres like a PALADIN or someone-

chip: i can try :))

gill: *fucking leaves*

- chip jumpscaring igneous for a bit is so silly of him please use chip being dead as a prank more lmao 

- hnnghhnghhnb star saying that they have to make their own hope while holding zamia hrrrghhr oh theyre In Love in love

- "Life keeps going on. And so do the holes. In the sea. And they call to us." - Jay Ferin

- "he was there one moment and then he turned to dust and died. Wait im thinking about the tree. Green is fine :))"

- he gave gill his seed. yuh huh. yurp.

- gill has two moms that share custody of him :] and also theyre gods :]

- "i have ceremony prepped if you want to make it official :>" HAHSHAHDHS GILL #1 SUPPORTER OF STAR/ZAMIA FRRR

- ZAMIA BLUSHING PLEASEEE

- BAHAHAHSHSH "not a big deal ive officiated a wedding before :)) NOT THAT IT WAS HONORED 👀😒😒🙄🙄"

- TIL DEATH DO US PART. AND CHIPS DEAD. ALL IT TOOK WAS TAKING CHIPS HEART TO GET DIVORCED.

- "ive seen this before :DD do you guys wanna get married?" lmao so this is why i saw some ship art of chip and igneous.

- "i share my finances with them already [gesturing to gill and jay]" is this supposed to imply that you are married to your captains chip nolastname. chip jrwi. 

- jay: nononono we're not adding another Person to that though. oh so you ARE in a polyamorous relationship huh. huh.

- gill: i never thought of it like that ._. (he was in the poly and he didnt even realize)

- wait so have they just decided that if they both roll nat 20s they would get married. ermm. chip i think you. i think you forgot smth... (/hj)

- chip got 0 game just go to your fish man already

- "as a cleric i feel obligated to stop y" "no dont." "sure ._." dang they really want to go into this hole dont they.

- nonono no mold hallway no please no no

- lol did they just forget to mention the literal teleporter they have that can bring them out of the black sea at any point.

- honestly i love that the riptide pirates are just bad at being pirates. like go off and make friends and throw your money off the ship.

- igneous part of the riptide pirates :DD (literally run away from these dumbasses)

[weirdcat1213]

volume 9 you say....hmm

i fear for my life to be completely honest

anyway HERE WE GO HERE ARE THE THOUGHTS

chap 1:

-geesus no pls no i dont wanna read anymore

-FLASHBACK TIME :D WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-3 days of crying is nothing when youre a trigun fan, am i right people :'D

-no im not fucking suffering cuz while all of that is happening the only thing on his mind is young livio NO IM FINE I SWEAR-

-lmao yeah wolfwood call him out >:D

-"you cant understand how i feel" my brother in christ YOURE SURROUNDED BY ORPHANS

-hmmmmmmmmm i mean im not sure if that applies here but who am i to tell him how he feels, sure buddy. happy for you

-geesus man not the dog, like....WHY THE DOG (i think ik why but still)

-tbh i would also go and ask for an explanation

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-ah shit so we're here now oh fuck oh shit okokok cool

-ah yes, sweet bait actually, makes me cry every time

-"once this ark scare is over we'll be living the high life" yeaaaahhhh....about that.....

-YO LEAVE THE ORPHAN ALONE DAMN

-thanks livio :3

chap 2:

-about his age i think hes on his 20s mentally but he looks like hes on his 30s, so hes still an adult but yknow...younger

-oh his eye :0 i love that tiny window between his glasses and his face where you can see his eyes, makes me sad every time

-the coolest mf

-"worse" you say...i wonder who did that to him...

-fuck off, take those fucking tears somewhere else old man

-OOOOOOHHHHH THAT PANEL!!! SO GOOD SO GOOD

-THANKS AGAIN LIVIO (livio's good actions counter: 2 so far) BUT FUCK THAT OLD MAN

chap 3:

-:c

-HES THERE AND HES COMING I PROMISE

-STFU I SWEAR SHUT UP WOLFWOOD PLS JUST ENJOY YOUR STUPID CIGARRETE

-oh ok yeah here we go

-GEESUS MAN, i hope someone kick you ass later

-aw livio noooooo :c

-NAH NO PLS NO BROTHER FIGHT NO NO

-damn

chap 4:

-no that fucking title while theyre bleeding holy crap no stop it nightow stop it

-leave my man alone plsssssssssssssssss

-OH I FUCKING FELT THAT. WOLFWOOD REACHING FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE AND LIVIO SHOOTING AT THE SAME MOMENT. I FELT THAT

-oh thats...thats kinda hot actually (i say while wolfwood fights for his little life)

-i love nightow taking his fucking time. yes sir i will enjoy a page of the vial dropping from his mouth without any dialogue, thank you sir

-PAIN :D

-SHUT UP OLD MAN

-"please survive"................................im gonna need a million years

chap 5:

-VASH BABY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU

-demon....while hes killing his bro.....i have a limit thats all im saying

-ITS CALLED LOVE BITCH

-HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE HONOR HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS HOME WTF

-STOP TALKING AND KILL HIM MAN CMONNNN

-oh....he looks so pretty tho. likes he came back to life and is surrounded by his servants....damn that goes hard...

-oh yeah, that arm that had no explanation whatsoever. its ok tho, nightow gets a pass

-ah fuck.....hes here...

-yeap, you could say thats a demon ig

chap 6:

-AH YES SAD FLASHBACK IN MENTAL PALACE MAKES ME GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER IM TELLING YA :D

-im sorry

-im jumping through the window idc anymore. poor livio man

-"fortitude".........yeah.....

-yeap that is scary as hell RUN WOLFWOOD GET TF OUTTA THERE

-DONT SMILE LIKE THAT YOU FREAK

-NONONONONONON SHUT UP WOLFWOOD SHUT UP

-STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

-STOPL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

-DIOS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

-orange if you animate this i will punch you but also kiss you in the lips

-i wonder what he means with that bell thats supposed to be tolling. hmmm. maybe its like a "hey come back to reality" kind of alarm thats not sounding

nightow you amazing bastard

[screampied]

I JUST started this fic. “Ma’am” MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWWWWW MIAOOOOWWWW SHES PURRING THATS SO FINE MEOWWWW “she” HE REFERRED TO THE CAR OR WTV IT IS AS SHE THATS SOOO FINE UGHHHH I need a mechanical baby daddy

his cap is twisted I’m literally gonna bust. ..

there’s no way I closed my eyes expecting a kiss IM SHOOTING UP THE WHOLE STREET AINT NO WAY I JS GIT CUATHY W THAT SHIT U MUST BE PLAYING

oh everyone clocked out nvm we safe chat :3 NOT THE COLOGONE UGGGSGFGAH BRO WHEN U SEE A FINE MAN AND U SMEEL SOME OF THEIR MAN PERFUME ITS LIKE GET IN MY BED JSHSHSHSJ “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss ya” 😛😛

we kissed the last time we met… OH YES did he just mock my stuttering I promise you I JUST busted a nut AUFGHH HAVE MY BABIES TOJI PLS “something telling me you came here for more than just an oil change, baby” well shit I mean we can change that oil for ur cum in me than we can rlly make some babies OR WHATEVAAA 😻

“yeah you do” EEEEKKKKKKK 😻😻😻 the heh I SWEAR vegas you will be the death of me. bro the way you describe a kiss….. what the actual freak…. whys this so good.. GOD I CANT OMG DID HE PUT ME ON THE CAR MEOWWWWW this eating out scene has me acting up “kinky lil slut” OKAY NOW IM ACC GEEKING PLS HAVE MERCY “there’s that cute heartbeat” OH MY GOD

“go head girl” GO HEAD, BE GONE WITH IT 🗣️🗣️ also did u hear my man Justin got arrested… LIKE BRO FREE HIM ☹️☹️ anyways back to this ungodly fanfiction :3

“yeaaaahhhh” #NEEDTHAT. HASH-TAG NEED THATTTTTTT GOODNESS GRACIOUS MEEEEE

OH HES RIGHTUNG HIS NUMBER ON MY ASS HELLOO THAT IS NICE OH MY “uhmmmm, you kind of don’t” guess I don’t !! theyre all yours toji bae 😻 “come back anytime for a refill” COMING EVERY DAY LMFPAOAOA

THAT FIC WAS YUMMY, DELICIOUS N YUMMY AND YUMMY YUMMY YUMMMMYYYYYYY TYVM FOR THE MEAL VEHAS N AS ALWAYS I LOVED ITTTT

— Pearl anon :9

PEARLLLLLL I LOVEUUUUU TY FOR READING 😞😞😞😞💓 i hope you’ve been doin alr tho n stayin safe, sweetheart <3

LMAOOO i love making reader a horny embarrassed girl she’s so cute. reaching in for a kiss i’d actually die inside omg the embarrassment heherkhlhp. we love her 🤞🏽 yessss toji w the twisted cap he’s so sexy i need it

😭😭😭😭😭 nooooauur bc i rly feel like mechanic toji would b such a sloppy kisser omg. u can taste the remains of cheap alcohol on his tongue oh brotherrrr. HELP WHOS JUSTIN ??? BEIBER ???? INCRYING

THANKYOUU S'MUCH IM GEEKING ur commentary is always so sweet ilu pearly 🙂‍↕️💓

[kieranculkingirl]

I posted 6,691 times in 2022

179 posts created (3%)

6,512 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@youngestdaughtersyndrome

@andshecanproveitwasolidrighthook

@girlsanta

@twinprime

I tagged 2,696 of my posts in 2022

#succession - 232 posts

#words - 216 posts

#em.txt - 166 posts

#art - 166 posts

#vid - 124 posts

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#fashion - 65 posts

#parallels - 63 posts

#films - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 141 characters

#she was my best friend and one time she asked who u had a crush on and i was like haha what if i said u 😳 and she was like ha funny now tell

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i’m fine all day and then i remember Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you

108 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#4

hey everyone! i really hate to have to do this and i’ve never asked for money online before but i have never been more in need. me and my fiancé are both chronically ill and my fiancé specifically hasn’t been able to work due to it. i’m the only one in my apartment bringing in even a little money right now and having to support two other roommates with what i make.

rent is due in a couple days and we don’t have close to enough to cover it. add to that our energy bill which is already a month late and now has late fees and the next month added to the total, and the fact that we barely have enough to buy groceries or the antibiotics i just got prescribed.

i would really really appreciate any help i can get, even just a reblog helps so much and even just a dollar or two would benefit us!

my v*nmo: amandanw17 (pls excuse my deadname)

vnmo is ideal but i can also send my p*yp*l or c*shpp if u message off anon

i’m setting a goal of $400 to start!

147 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

#3

one thing about me is i am like na na na. then i’m like yeah yeah yeah

1,101 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#2

i love when a new person follows u and u look at their blog and theyre mutuals with all your mutuals its just like omg a new member of the crew

5,231 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

beautiful baby triplets named control, alt, and delete

18,559 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[1eos]

I knew it was her! because seriously that’s her whole twt. she thinks she’s somebody since she has one of the big followings of starlights on twt and has liked vixx since 2013. not her trying to tell them that the “fold him like origami” is a joke and they should accept it as one. Oh, she’s got this I guess obsession with the actor who is playing the ceo who’s also 10yr younger (she thinks hes hot that is very subjective) and his love interest costar in the bl, she’s always mentioning his height and thinks they’re gonna me kissing each other like it’s that well know popular bl and if it happens she’s gonna combust. she even tweeted the taeknyangi cushion with a large knife up to it and said give me the drama updates or he dies.. I’m just like ..okay 😶 making jokes is fine but when you make these types of jokes your whole personality it’s weird. btw she’s a wontaek supporter shipper whatever you wanna call it ….byeee. sorry for dumping this all on you but I’m so glad you see how weird she is because I feel like no one else does and I’m like how can you not seeeee itttt

~🔮

pls don't apologize. i absolutely hate most international starlights on twitter so any justification is truly a gift. but yeahhhhh i wasnt fucking w her beyond translations bc atp i can sniff fetishism from a mile away. and ik its fetishism bc they all have the same MO. i just knew she was an lr shipper bc she calls leo a tiny baby twink which means even tho leo was, and might still be bigger than [redacted] that's his top 🙄and when i was looking for her fan call again i saw that she got called out for babying people before and said its normal (not the way you do it bitch) AND i saw she had the nerve to call out ppl who treat hakyeon as the 'woman' in their ships nd its like girl you are literally doing the same exact thing to leo. you are quite literally erasing aspects of reality to make him the bottom bitch to whatever man is convenient at the moment.

and its like yeah ppl call their faves cringe nicknames to play around. and yeah people get excited about projects. and yeah some ppl joke abt x and y fucking around bc theyre acting too friendly but others have every right not to like it. EXPECIALLY when you have nothing to say except for some infantilizing yet sexual???? shit ppl are gonna be weirded out. as a hater im so glad exols got on that ass bc bitch you're WEIRD. gun to her head you ask anything abt leo you not gone get nothing but 'he's a baby' 😭😭😭😭😭 'whats your fave song' 'he's a baby' cmon now

[hyperfixationspam]

s2 finale liveblog

good morning sluts i am so fucking scared

hes in his meditation era

"idk a wave or something" babygirl i love you

OH THE DADDY ISSUES

STOP SAYING SIMPLE

SSHSHSKSHDJS POOR BABYGIRL HE WANTS TO BE ADOPTED SO BAD

SWEETHEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING

IS HE BEING MUTINIED FROM FISHING 😭😭😭

YEAH THEY ARE DICKS TELL EM BB

ZHENG IS FINE SHES IN THE TRAILER FUCK YOU

"britain never shall be slaves" 🫤 interesting choice of words

PETES POOR BALD HEAD 😭

JACKIE LOOKS SO SAD 😭😭

RICKY YOU BITCH MY ENEMY FUCK YOU

YOUR NOSE?? YOU FREAK

EWW YOU BITCH I HATE YOU

ZHENG!!!!!

OH GOD SHES HAVING FLASHBACKS

OH THIS IS WHERE THAT SCENE IS FROM

AUNTIE CANT BE DEAD NOO 😭😭😭

ZHENG BB GET UP PLS

STEDE!!!!

"or is it?" loser i love you

ZHENG HELL YEAH!!!!!

her fixing her pigtails 😭 shes so cute

ED POOR SWEETIE

OH. OK.

hes already added a third daddy to have issues about what an icon

YEAHHHHHHHH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO

SHUT UP RICKY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

lmaooo izzy coming into "well actually 🤓☝️"

PINOCCHIO 😭😭 WE LOVE A CALLBACK

IZZY STOP WITH THE CANDLES

"the brains of this operation" 🤮🤮🤮 U RACIST BITCH

IZZY LORE???

HEY JACKIE. WHATS THAT. JACKIE

THE SOLDIERS READING THE LETTER NO NO NO NO

SOOOOOOOBS

ED READING THE ROMANTIC LETTER WHILE MURDERING THESE BITCHES 😭😭 I LOVE YOU

GNOSSIENE REMIX???

"WE WROTE OUR NAMES ON EACH OTHER" SHUT UPPPPPP

SWEET BABY

"you wrote me a lovely letter!!! 😡" why is he mad now shskdhskd

stede practically tripping over his own feet is so funny

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR OUR BEAUTIFUL ROMANTIC HERO TO STEP IN

YEAHHHHH

THE MUSICAL CALLBACK 😭😭😭😭

OH MY GOD ITS JUST LIKE HIS DREAM THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING AND STUPID AND LIFE SHATTERING

zheng being like "ok we need to hurry this up so you bitches can be gay" queen

THE LONG AWAITED FIGHTING TOWARDS EACH OTHER SCENE!!!!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA

SWEETHEARTS 💕💕💕💕💕

KISSY!!!!!!!

"lifes a dick" real 😭

KISSY!!!!! THATS KISSY NUMBER FIVE NUMBER SIX IF YOU COUNT THE SECRET ONE

HE SAID IT!!!!!! HE SAID IT!!!!!!

bro hit him with the star wars reference 🫤

ZHENG 😭😭

wait has ed not met zheng??? i completely forgot

"shes super tough" "GUYSSSSS FUUUUUUUCK" i love her so much she is everything to me

"FOR LOOOOOVE" HAHAHAHA

"we need someone to pee on the shirt" hey im sorry what did i just walk into

AUNTIE!!!!!!!

"ive got plenty of blood" yeah i can see that

LMAOO THEM JUST CHILLING NEXT TO THE BODIES OF THE DEAD SOLDIERS

"oh you saw the flip ☺️" lmaooo

"i caught it 🥰" cuteeee

BABE!!!!!

"men have cost her too much" lore??? also me too bitch the fuck

"ur not a man" oh transgender? "ur soft" 🫤

"you dont do soft?? 😫" olu baby ily

izzy im scared for u pls stop taunting him

"because....." we're gay? "we're good" ok that works too

"you are a rancid syphilitic cunt 💅" iconic

"ooh theres a lot of them 🫤" stede saw his bf and forgot about strategy

OH SHIT SHE DID POISON THEM. WAIT FUCK WHO ELSE IS POISONED.

"is that us doing that" STEDE YOU DUMBASS 😭😭😭😭

wait theyre poison trained??? wtf 😭

"no!!!!! let me kill him 🥰" beautiful

bruh olu having to remind her to be nice 😭

"i am. proud. of you. 😐" so genuine 💞

ZHENG MY SWEETHEART MY SWEET GIRL

ASS SHOT?????? HELLO?????????

ok ur taking the outfits but who took the underwear too 😭😭

zheng lookin kinda 🥵🥵🥵

how are they all rocking this its a navy uniform its not supposed to look good

is frenchie wearing eyeliner hell yeah

ok yeah why did you trust ricky with that

DID. DID IZZY JUST GET SHOT. HELLO

why did olu grab that guy so intimately it looked like he was about to kiss him 😭

JIM IS JIM OK

OH GOD IZZYS ABOUT TO DIE ISNT HE. HES ABOUT TO BE WUZZY

OK AT LEAST JIM SEEMS FINE

OLU I LOVE YOU SILLY BOY

AUNTIE??????? NO NO NO

WHY IS LUCIUS RUNNING SO GAYLY 😭😭😭

izzys makeup he looks so close to death oh god

"SIT WITH ME EDDIE" FUUUUUUCK

"IM SORRY" GOD FINALLY

GOD HES FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT. I CAN DIE IN PEACE. HOPEFULLY IZZY CAN TOO I GUESS

"it was us" FUCK FUXK FUCK FUXK FUCK FUUUUUCK

"i wanna go" OH MY GODDDDD

"youre my only family" "oh fuck off you twat" yeah thats the proper response 😭

"JUST BE ED" FUCKU FUXK FUCK FUXK

OH MY GOD. THE "THERE HE IS" PARALLEL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKIN DEAD

congratulations to con o neill for doing the most convincing dead eyes ive ever seen thats a bit terrifying

STEDE PLEEEEASE GO GET YOUR MAN DONT JUST STAND THERE

OH THEYRE BURYING HIM HES LIKE DEAD DEAD NO RISING FROM THE GRAVE FOR HIM

ROACH GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER SHSKDHSKF

"he was a fucking nightmare what a guy" spitting straight facts

"i think wed be good together. kick a lotta ass" hell yeah wlw mlm solidarity

oh shit rickys still alive i forgot 😭

"shes said enough" HAHAHAHAHA

WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING WEDING YES YES YES YES

fang are u ok

ED........ THOSE EYES........

MATEYS!!!!!!!!!!

ok fang is not ok pls get this boy some therapy

"or kiss or something" 😭

CUTIES!!!!!!!! HUSBANDS!!!!!! MATEYS!!!!!!! CUTIES!!!!!!!!!

NINA SIMONE HELL YEA

WAIT IS FRENCHIE FIRST MATE FOR REAL NOW

OH SHIT JACKIES HERE TOO. FOUND FAMILY UNION!!!!

sugarballs????? 😭😭😭

WAIT ED AND STEDE STAYED BEHIND OH FUCK

INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!

OH MY GODDDDDDD

BUTTONS??????

frenchie skinny legend

wait who pissed on the towel

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO FOR S3 IF THEYRE BEHIND THO. LIKE IM HAPPY FOR THEM BUT WHAT ABOUT S3

[twinkleimagines]

bestie idk of you write for JJ, but i have this very specific desire to lick his teeth during sex- before you judge me, it’s his bottom teeth yk? they’re all crooked and pointy and i just want to lick them while riding him-

could pls write that?

*Teeth*

Warning: smut and language included ! (I did not proof read so my apologies in advanced)

“JJ get off of me” You jokingly yelled out as your boyfriend of 3 months hovered over you on the couch in the Chateau, his fingers dancing alongside your hips. You let out spurts of giggles as he continued to tickle you before his movements stop, his body still hovering over you. You furrowed your brows together as you realized he was staring.

“What?” you asked softly, since his face was right above yours. He shook his head lightly, his shaggy blonde hair following as a gently smile formed on his face.

“You’re just so beautiful” He responded, still looking deeply into your eyes. “Takes my breath away” You looked down at the space between the two of you, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. For some reason when JJ complimented you it always gave you butterflies and you would instantly get shy around him. You looked back up at him, his facial expression not changing before he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss was soft and passionate at first, but then it became a bit more aggressive, your hands tangling in his hair. You watched as he leaned up for a second, pulling his shirt over his head before he leaned back down, his lips finding yours once again. This time you pushed slightly against JJ’s bare chest, giving yourself room to be able to take your shirt off, which jj Helped with.

“Wait” you interrupted as he had slid his hands down towards your shorts. “What if the guys come back?” you asked referring to the rest of the Pogues that like to crash at the Chateau.

“It’s fine okay? IT’s Sunday theyre all working” JJ said with a shrug of his shoulders. “But to be safe we’ll just do a quicky” he implied before he leaned back dpwn, kissing you once again. His lips trailed down to your neck and over your shoulder before he looked up at you.

“You wanna get on top?” He asked, his lips pink and puffy from the make out session you both just had and his chest heaving a bit more than usual. You bit your lip nodding. You always felt a bit insecure about being on top but JJ insisted it makes him last longer and he absolutely loved the view and feeling when you were in control. JJ smiled widely, showing off his crooked teeth before leaning back away from you, pulling down his shorts and boxers to his ankles. He sat back down on the couch, his back leaned into the cushion behind him as he slowly pumped himself as he watched you quickly undress your self.

You made your way back over to JJ, your legs on both sides of him, hovering just above his tip. You threw your head back with your mouth open as you slid down on him, his size never failing to stretch you. JJ’s mouth immediately when straight to your nipple while his hand groped the other, pinching it slightly between his finger. You lifted yourself up and down his body as his mouth did wonders against your breast, shooting tingling feelings to your core.

You started grinding your hips against him at a faster pace trying to bring yourself close to your high. He lowered his hands, squeezing against your hips and pushing against them to help you move along him. You placed your hands above his head on the back of couch, your breasts bouncing in his face as he continued looking down, seeing your clit rub against his pelvis over and over.

“Fuck JJ” you moaned out, feeling yourself getting close. He looked up at you before grabbing the back of your head, pulling you towards him , your lips landing on each other. You placed his bottom lip inbetween your teeth, tugging on them some before you suddenly ran your tongue across his bottom teeth, taking him completely by shock. JJ pulled his head back, his eyes widened at you causing you to stop your movements along him.

“What?” You asked out of breath. He shook his head in disbelief at the words he was about to say.

“Did you just lick my teeth?” he asked with pure confusion written on his face. You immediately regretted the decision, it being clear that it probably weirded JJ out.

“Umm” you replied lowering your head, “Your teeth are such a turn on to me I just- uhm i-“You stopped talking completely lost for words. You didn’t know how to explain your reasoning for it because to be honest you weren’t even sure why you did it, you just knew it was something you definitely fantasized about. JJ saw how your face became red and you were looking down with humiliating.

“No baby, that was hot as fuck” He laughed out, his smiling becoming big. You looked up at him, this time your face filled with confusion. He didn’t even bother to wait for your response before he grabbed your hips, pushing you down to where your back was laid down on the couch.

You gasped loudly as JJ inserted himself into you, your legs bent up high , almost touching your chest as he rocked his hips back and forth at a fast pace into you. He placed one hand above your head on the arm rest while the other rubbed circles at your throbbing clit, causing you to moan out loudly. JJ built his climax up with each thrust, his head leaning back as he shot his load into you. You dug your nails into his back as he lowered his head next to yours, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he rode out his high, finally bringing you to your own climax. You wrapped your legs around his waste, pulling him deep inside you as you came around him, both your juices mixing.

You felt his body begin to relax on yours before he sat up, removing himself from you before grabbing at his shorts pulling them up.

“Who would’ve known that you had a fetish for teeth” He joked , looking back over at your naked figure. You shook your head, face palming yourself.

“Only yours JJ, only yours”

This was my first JJ fic so I Hope you liked it Anon !

[elysianslove]

mornings ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; waking up next to the haikyuu boys 

pairings; bokuto kotaro x reader, matsukawa issei x reader, kageyama tobio x reader 

genre; fluff

warnings; hints at suggestive themes like once

bokuto kōtarō

bokuto’s so high energy all the time but yk what that entails?

crashing at some point

he’s v clingy omg

like staying the night during the winter is heaven bc he just radiates so much heat

but in the summer ur like pls bo PLEASE

anyways u get to decide if y’all did the sexy or not 😏

waking up next to him is the sweetest thing ever

bokuto’s such an active lover

like he will always make u feel loved 24/7

you’ll wake up and he’s already up

staring at you like youre the moon and the stars

he smiles so brightly and he’s so gentle in comparison to what he’s usually like throughout the day

“hey pretty baby”

he pulls you so close and straight up suffocates you 🏃🏻‍♀️

you just

you love him okay so it’s fine

but you cant breathe rn 😃

he plants two long, wet kisses on your cheeks and pulls back so that he look at you

“wanna make breakfast w me”

proceeds to burn down the kitchen

he’s extra loving in the morning

and extra clingy

you two head to the bathroom together

you pee while he washes his face

and then you alternate

romance 😻

brushing your teeth together

“bokuto stop being so aggressive ur teeth will fall out”

“no 😡”

hes so cute i want to kiss him

when your teeth are brushed he kisses you fully on the mouth

“hehe u taste minty, baby”

u can never wake up in a bad mood thanks to top 5 ace bokuto kōtarō

matsukawa issei

sleeps like a log

seriously he might as well be dead

doesn’t cuddle all the much while sleeping But !

he will always be touching you and it’s v endearing

somehow you always wake up fully on top of him

matsun is so big

like in every way

😏

anyways

what i meant to say is ur like v small on top of him he just dwarfs u sm size kink

he doesn’t necessarily like embrace you while sleeping but he will have an arm around you steadying you holding you close

but when he wakes up and looks down at you and sees you like all cuddled up on his chest, fist grabbing @ his shirt (or hands resting on his warm skin hehe) he just

his heart gets all warm and fuzzy

he lifts his other arm to wrap it around you and just hugs you close, breathing easy and reveling in the feel of the morning soaking into the room with you in his arms

eventually you wake up and kinda squint up at him

he wont tell u but he thinks u look so fkn cute rn

once u register that he’s staring back u huff and go “five more mins”

bc he loves u he agrees

also he’s lazy

5 mins turn to 20

turn into an hr

breakfast in bed with issei reeeeeee

you don’t make it u literally just order it 😹😹😹😹

morning showers with him <3

he makes the water freezing cold just to piss you off lmfao

mornings with issei are very slow and gentle, yes they are

kageyama tobio

i think he like unintentionally falls asleep over at your place

and he just looks so peaceful and so fkn cute sleeping you didnt have the heart to wake him up

so you just tuck him underneath your blankets

you wake up first and kinda just admire him

bc kags has like some kind of sixth sense he feels you staring at him and sits up awake so quick

you have to laugh lmfao

ur like “babe whats wrong”

“this isnt my house”

you sit up and hug him from behind, explaining how he passed out last night

you can feel him relax underneath your hold by the second, and he just leans into your touch as your rest your head against his back

slowly, his hand comes to rest on your hands and he just hums as he runs a thumb over your skin

you sit up more and rest ur chin on his shoulder, tilting your head to ask “wanna go somewhere for breakfast before school?”

and when he nods you kiss his cheek and shuffle away to go freshen up

baby’s so flustered from that simple kiss on the cheek omghwvjwkwhw

you get breakfast together and walk to school hand in hand

his hand feels different in yours than usual

more comfortable somehow

when he drops you off to your class he, surprisingly, gives you a small peck on the lips

his cheeks and ears are so red tho oh my god bless his pure heart

and just goes “can i spend the night again?” bc he loved the domesticity of it all and who is he to lie and say he didnt love seeing your face first thing in the morning???

weekend nights are always spent together after that

mornings with him are always filled with lingering, soft touches, and the steady welcome of comfortableness and domesticity

end note; this idea was v random but omg i just wanna do it for all the boys. anyways whats stopping me lol. also im sorry im only posting headcanons theyre just so fun ill post a real thing soon hvhshfghd

[whatdoyouwanttobecalled-1]

I've been seeing a lot of posts about this all over social media, and while the majority of them are fine and just people expressing their opinions, a lot of people from both sides of the argument have been saying some really inexcusable stuff (such as telling people on the opposing side to off themselves, etc) and it's really pissing me off. Pls everyone idc if you agree w me or not but at least try to be mature and respectful when engaging in these conversations bc the goal is learning, understanding, tolerance, and cooperation (working together to find solutions to problems that will benefit all of us). So here's my stance on the issue, and feel free to reply, ask questions, or dm me and start a conversation regardless of your veiws. Just be nice! Here's my opinions, based off my own personal experience:

To start off: pansexuality is not inherently biphobic and/or transphobic

Yes, there are pansexuals who are biphobic, and yes they harm the transgender community in that sense. This is because generally pansexuals who are biphobic say they bisexuals are transphobic and essentially invalidate binary trans people's identity as a man or woman by saying that bisexuals are only attracted to cis men and cis women, not trans people. However, the majority of pansexual people do not think this way. Personally (and most of the pansexuals as talked to agree w me), I do not believe that bisexuality is transphobic. Why? Trans women are women, and trans men are men. If you will not date a trans person simply bc they are trans, then you're transphobic, but that has absolutely nothing to do w your sexuality. My own and most people's understanding of bisexuality (and the definition you get if you Google it, and the definition that most bisexuals will give you), is that bisexuality means attraction to 2 or more genders (which yes, could mean all), with a preference. With. A. Preference. I identified as bi to myself for years, and came out as bi for almost a year, never feeling as if the label fully fit me or that I was fully understood by the community bc there is always sm emphasis on the fact that bisexuals have a preference, while I never have. I don't think anyone is less than anyone else for having a preference, or better than anyone else for not having a preference. Pansexuality simply allows me to be apart of a smaller more specific community that fully understands my experience w attraction. I also know that bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term for anyone attracted to 2+ genders, but in the same way that it's not biphobic for lesbians to prefer to date other lesbians bc of their shared experience, I like having a smaller community that specifically experiences attraction in the same way that I do. I've also seen a lot of people talking about how people seem to think that bisexuals only care about sex, and that pansexuals think theyre better bc they're uwu innocent babies. I'm not entirely sure I'm not on the ace spectrum somewhere but lemme tell you that does not make me any less of a whore. No one is better than anyone else for how much or little they think about or enjoy sex.

2nd; bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

Yes, there are bisexuals who are transphobic, but this is not the majority of the community. Most bi people consider trans women to be real women (which they are) and trans men to be real men (which they are). I will say it again; if you won't date someone just bc they're trans, you are transphobic, but that has nothing to do w your sexuality. As for non binary people, yes, bisexuality includes them too. Bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

3rd; all mspec labels are fucking valid.

Whether you identify as bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or polysexual, you are valid. You can use bisexuality as an umbrella term if that's what you're most comfortable w, or if the definition perfectly describes your relationship w attraction then that's cool too. If you feel that pansexuality, omnisexuality, or polysexuality better describes you and you enjoy having a smaller more specific community to fully relate to, guess what, that's also cool. No one is better than anyone else, and while there are members of every community who feel that they are, they do not represent everyone.

4th; panphobia/omniphobia/polyphobia only comes from the mspec community, if it comes from outside, it's probably biphobia

Let me explain; there is no problem that comes from people who are not attracted to multiple genders that everyone on this spectrum doesn't face. Bisexuality is a spectrum that we all fall on, an umbrella term that we all fit under. This means that unless it's coming from a person or group on this spectrum, it's probably biphobia you're facing. There are 2 types of biphobia: the biphobia that comes from mspecs, and the biphobia that comes from people who aren't on the spectrum of bisexuality. The biphobia that comes from inside is only against people who identify as bisexual, and the biphobia that comes from outside is against anyone who is attracted to multiple genders. I'm not saying there aren't a few instances of people who arent mspec targeting a specific group and not every mspec identity, but most of the time, if it's from the outside, it's classified as biphobia, bc that includes all of us.

In conclusion, this is what the mspec sexualities are and some of my final thoughts;

Bisexuality = attraction to 2+ genders with or without a preference. It can be used as an umbrella term by the whole mspec community, or as a specific label on it's own. It includes trans and non binary people, and is not a transphobic label. There are transphobic bisexuals, but the fact that they are transphobic and the fact that they are bisexual are not related in any way. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity, or sexuality in general.

Pansexuality = attraction to all genders without a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic pansexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their pansexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as pansexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Omnisexuality = attraction to all genders w a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic omnisexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their omnisexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as omnisexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Polysexuality = attraction to more than 2, but not all genders. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic polysexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their polysexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as polysexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Honestly, I think we all get enough hate from inside and outside the lgbtqia+ community and we need to stick together and have each others backs. It's not the microlabels that are causing problems, it's the exclusionists. Invalidating eo's experiences and saying that biphobia is a bigger problem, panphobia is a bigger problem, omniphobia is a bigger problem, or polyphobia is a bigger problem, isn't gonna help anyone or solve anything. We can have slightly different experiences and still relate and support eo. Also, even if you have a problem w a specific label, pls just ask your questions genuinely, and try to understand the opposing side. Just have a mature conversation. If you're too young or immature to do that then you probably shouldn't be on social media. Calling eo names and telling eo to off ourselves isn't helping anything and there is no excuse for it. I've always loved the lgbtqia+ community for it's love and acceptance, but the more active I become within the community itself, the more I realise how toxic it can be. Sometimes I'm genuinely embarrassed to part of this community. Especially when it's grown adults acting like children that is causing the problems. Pls do better. Thank you for your time, thank you for reading, I love you, have a nice day!!!

Also I just want to add that ik there are more mspec identities than this, and you're all so valid. These are just the sexualities that ik enough about to give a proper statement on and the ones I've seen mentioned in this discourse the most. I'm actively trying to learn more about the mspec identities I mentioned, and those that I didn't. Pls feel free to give me any info on any sexuality (doesn't even have to be mspec I just want to learn more so I can be good ally for everyone), or ask me any questions about my own sexuality, and pls let me know if there is anything I should add or any misinformation in this post (I will not be including blatant blankphobia against any mspec identity so don't even try it bitches)

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this