#THEY WERE EVERYTHING TO ME AS A KID. FUUUUUUUCK DUDE

[snailfen]

pause i just realized there are probably ii fans out there who watched cooking for the grater good and have no idea that gamey and window were actually hosts from different object shows and not just random extras for that episode and that made me feel older than anything in my life

[membermentmania]

I've decided everything's just getting a day now instead of individual sessions. Enjoy August 25th.

“I am not fucking over Jack knowing Desmond! Fucking seriously!” 

“I’m telling you guys, they’re dead,” Stan said flatly. 

“Have to agree,” Craig noted. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.” 

“Hear me out!” Stan tried. 

“I’ve been hearing you out,” Craig responded. 

“No, they’re not fucking dead! That’s stupid!” Kyle responded. 

“HOW ELSE WOULD DESMOND BE THERE?!” he defended as though his life were on the line. 

“OBVIOUSLY OTHER PEOPLE WERE THERE BEFORE OUR MAIN CAST! DESMOND COULD��VE JUST GOTTEN THERE EARLIER!” 

A giggle bubbled out of me. “I also think that’s stupid. There’s plenty of variables that could’ve led Desmond to getting there.” 

“Oh fuuuuuuuck you,” Cartman said, narrowing his eyes at me. “They’re definitely fucking dead.” 

“I feel like it’s too obvious,” Kevin chimed in. “They’re not dead.” 

“Okay. Let’s make this fun,” Bebe said, smiling wickedly. We all looked over at her. She stood up, clasping her hands together. “Show of hands. Who thinks they’re all dead?” I pushed Craig’s arm slightly when he raised his. He laughed quietly, nudging me back. Clyde’s hand shot up. Along with Stan’s, Cartman’s, Dovakien’s, Red’s, and Henrietta’s. “Care to make a wager?” Everyone gave her some sort of indication that they were on board. 

“Speak your mind, princess,” Cartman responded. 

“Everyone kick in twenty. Winning team doubles their money.” 

“But there’s six v eight here,” Kyle protested. 

“Frankly, I’d be willing to turn traitor if you can give me a solid convincing,” Nichole announced brightly.  

“Okay,” Stan stood up, clapping his hands together. “Leo can hear me just fine?” 

“I can!” 

“You’re convincing Nichole not me!” he rebutted from his spot on facetime. 

“Well if I’m going to exhaust my brain making a case, I need everyone to witness it!” 

“Do you ever get tired of being stupid?” Cartman asked. 

“What do you  want to do it?” 

“Fuck no!” 

“Okay. Wait. I want Cartman to break out the whiteboard and do it,” Nichole noted. 

Cartman let out a groan. “Fucking seriously?” 

“I’m sorry, but I would also love to see that,” Kyle said with a snicker. 

“Dude, no!” I narrowed my eyes at Cartman. “Don’t you dare say it.” 

“I thought I was your favorite!” I shot back. 

“No. Bebe’s my favorite.” 

“Besides Bebe.” 

Craig laughed quietly next to me. “Come on. Let Stan show off his brain.” He slowly turned around. “You have one, right?” 

“Oh my god, fuck off. I will throw you under the bus right now.” 

Cartman scoffed. “Tolkien doesn’t even have a whiteboard!” I put a hand up, covering my mouth. Tolkien shot him a shiteating grin. “You don’t.” 

“You love a performance, don’t you?” he countered. 

Cartman threw his hands up. “Get out the fucking whiteboard why don’t you?” 

Tolkien jumped up from his chair and ran into the other room before wheeling out the whiteboard like he’d been waiting for this moment since he’d first actually spoken to Cartman. There were cheers throughout the room, ready to see our greatest showman at work. He huffed, trying to conceal a laugh. “Okay, kids. Pay attention. I’m going through this once.” Kenny saluted at him and we all quieted down to small spurts of whispers as he got started. At the very top, he wrote in big red letters ‘The Castways Are DEAD!!!,’ underlining dead three times. “Give me a sec. I’m doing sections.” 

“LET’S FUCKING GOOOO!” Clyde yelled. 

We watched as he made five sections, each in their own color. ‘The Unexplained’ got purple. I did not miss the way he shot a pointed look at Dova. ‘Psychological Elements’ got a light blue. I bit back a laugh as he made his way down ‘Narrative Elements’ in orange and the marker started to die. “Fuck you,” he muttered, causing an erruption of laughter from the group. He spun around. “Shut up! I’m almost done!” He ignored our giggles, ‘Isolation’ getting the spot as bright pink. And finally, the ‘Atmosphere + Setting’ column got lime green. 

He spun back around, clapping his hands together. “Okay, before we start,” he said happily. “Fuck each and every single one of you.” 

“WE LOVE YOU TOO!” 

He covered his mouth, suppressing a laugh before rolling his eyes. I leaned into Craig, trying to keep my laughs to a minimum. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, bits of butterflies screaming at me. I ignored them, practically melting into his side. I planned on enjoying every minute of this. 

“I’m starting. If you have questions, raise your hand or I’m throwing a marker at you.” 

“SUNSHINE!” 

“God, I fucking hate you guys,” he muttered. “Okay! To start with the unexplained. We of course have the smoke monster. There has been no indication of the paranormal in the flashbacks we’ve seen so far. So pray tell, where the fuck would such a thing come from? We can’t. Because they are obviously dead. So they get monsters. Because they’re probably in Hell. Cause they’re a bunch of godless heathens.” The group sputtered into giggles and Kenny raised a shaky hand. “Yes, poorboy?” 

“I been to hell. Don’t look like that.” 

“And I’m the Queen of England. Fuck off.” 

More giggles bubbled out of him. “Kay. Cool. Continue then.” 

“The hatch is literally suspicious as fuck. It doesn’t make any sense. Like, seriously. You’re gonna tell me just about everything on that island is analog but there’s just a steel obviously manmade hatch? No. Fuck you.” 

There was a neutral acknowledgement from us, not wanting to actually interject as his tangent fully geared up. He started to pace slightly, smacking his dry erase marker at the very large letters ‘POLAR BEAR’. ‘Polar’ was specifically underlined three times. “POLAR BEARS. Where do they belong, pray tell?” 

Stan raised his hand, happily indulging in this. Cartman pointed at him with a delighted smile. “THE FUCKING ARCTIC!” 

“Yesss, Stannyboy. Why would they be in a tropical environment? That’s just not how it works. Moving on to our next column.” 

“What about your last point?” Bebe asked with a snicker. 

Cartman narrowed his eyes on her before carefully picking up one of the colors he hadn’t used and ever so gently tossing it at her. She flipped him off when it lightly collided with her forehead. “I’m circling back. Raise your hand.” 

“Fuck off.” 

He laughed quietly. “Moving onto the psychological nature of this, Jack is hallucinating. He’s been having hallucinations of his dad. That is confirmed. The entire element of that, along with,” he paused, smacking the marker in his hand against the next point, “behavior from the other characters including but not limited to visions, contributes to an overall atmosphere that threatens to blur the lines between reality and that is simply not. Because the island is simply not. Because they are dead.” 

I raised my hand and he nodded. “Thank you. But wouldn’t things like hallucinations very much so be more of a human thing? Like, if they’re dead, okay, fine. Say they’re in hell. But the whole thing about that is that it doesn't sit right with me. Like, if you’re dead, technically you’re shedding that human part of you. Shedding your humanity would be to also shed some of the most human parts of us, like delusions and hallucinations, no?” 

Kenny started clapping. “FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.” 

“Close enough,” I responded with a giggle. “Lil’ drunk.”

“NO, GORGEOUS!” Kenny rebutted.  

“I’ll give you that, Tweeky dearest. But I think that only counts if they know they’re dead. They would clearly not know they were dead in this context.” 

Craig nodded slightly against me. “Traitor,” I muttered. 

A quiet laugh escaped him. “Mhm.” 

“Alright. I’m going forward. Let’s talk about some of our thematic elements. The use of flashbacks in this is near perpetually highlighting unresolved issues, dare I say, unfinished business. Along with guilt, redemption, and purgatory. Maybe they’re not in hell, but purgatory. Either way, they’re fuckin’ dead.” 

His pacing started up again, causing quiet giggles from the group as he slowly got back into his groove. 

“The radio transmission just doesn’t fucking do it for me. It’s been on repeat for how many years?” 

Wendy raised her hand politely, smiling when he shot out a hand to her with excitement. “Bout seventeen years.” 

“Thank you, Wends.”

She laughed, nodding at him to continue. “From a technological standpoint, that just doesn’t sit well with me. Like I get that shit can last that long, but that would land them starting it the late 80’s. I just don’t see something like that actually lasting that long. Like, sure it can happen, but let’s turn off our suspense of disbelief for, like, five minutes. I know with consumerism and everything, shit’s made to break now, which is it’s own entirely different conversation, but still. It’s not a strong point, but it adds up to the plausible deniability that I need to convince you.” Nichole laughed when he made a lame gesture at her. 

“Kay, fair,” she relented. 

“So let's move onto our isolation, or betterly titled as I’m actually thinking about it, lack of external validation. We have a near full lack of external validation here. The farthest we got to this is ‘other islanders.’” He used finger quotes here. “Which could just as easily be other damned souls or hellspawn with intent to torture them. We’ve all seen The Good Place.” Clyde raised a hand. “Yes, Clyde?” 

“I haven’t seen The Good Place,” he admitted. 

“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE GOOD PLACE?!” So many of us yelled that, I wasn’t even sure who it came from. I put a hand over my mouth, trying to keep my laughs to a minimum. 

“Okay, that is a cardinal sin, honestly, but we’ll circle back. The point is, there is no sign of rescue efforts or contact from the outside world, only reinforcing the idea that they are totally cut off from it. And there is just about nothing from the outside world period in the current time period. There’s no sign that directly confirms that they’re alive. Sure, they could quite literally just be on an uncharted island, but how many of those did we really have in the early 2000’s?” 

Kyle raised his hand, giggle bubbling out when Cartman gestured at him, ready to hear what he had to say. “Somewhere between ten and thirty.” 

“Okay. Okay, I can give you that. But still, an argument is to be made. How many of those are of this caliber? And with that hell loop of a radio broadcast? There was no way they were so completely off course that they’d gone past wherever humanity’s traveled so completely that no boat or passerby caught up on that. That doesn’t exactly add up.” 

Kyle made a face of acknowledgement, nodding slightly. I think it was more for the sake of the genuine entertainment from The Cartman Show we were getting. 

“And now we have one last thing before I circle back to the elephant in the room.” 

“You’re not in Lost,” Kevin deadpanned. The group started howling with laughter. 

“IT IS MY BIRTHDAY, MAY I REMIND!” 

“SORRY!” Kevin wheezed out. 

“TWEEK ALREADY BITCHED ME OUT! TWICE! I’M NOT DOING IT!” he yelled through his own laughter. 

Kevin waved a hand violently. “You left yourself open! I’m sorry!”

Something stirred in my stomach. Genuine happiness. Whenever Kevin or Henrietta opened up a bit like this, actually just giving into the insanity of the group, it made me so unbelievably happy. They belonged, but these moments always made me feel like they knew they belonged. It was truly special. 

As the group calmed down, Cartman went to his last section. “Okay, so,” a small laugh cut him off. “‘Scuse me. Atmospheric and setting elements. The opening scene is wild. It kicks the show off with this entire vibe of disorientation, much like death has been shown to cause thematically throughout just about everything. Recently dead people notoriously do not even realize they’re dead in media. I personally think it’s kinda lazy and I hate it, but when traumatic deaths are in place, it’s totally fair. Dying in a plane crash must be traumatic as fuck.” 

“True!” Kenny chimed in. 

My eyes widened as I shot him a look. He covered his mouth, laughing before mouthing ‘not me.’  I shook my head, more giggles bubbling out as Cartman continued. 

“The general weirdness of the island, in an overall setting, screams that it is not part of the human world, but something else entirely. And with that, I’m circling back to my last thing.” He took a deep breath before smacking his marker at the large bold letters ‘FUCKING DESMOND!!!’ “FUCKING DESMOND IS THERE! JACK KNOWS DESMOND! I HATE IT! THAT IS TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE!” 

“FUCKING DESMOND!!” The clamor came from Stan, Clyde, and Dovakien. I fully collapsed into laughs, not able to hold it in anymore. 

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Craig stated simply.

“EXACTLY!” Cartman responded, eyes lighting up. He looked at Nichole, putting his hand out. “And that is exactly why I think you should turn traitor.” 

She got up, trying to hold in her laughs as she stepped forward towards him. Stan, Clyde, Dova, and Red started to chant ‘one of us,’ quickly growing in volume as laughs rang out. I was wiping at my face as tears poured out. She took his hand, shaking it with exaggeration. “Happy to be a traitor.” 

-

Singing happy birthday to Cartman after surprising him with a cake had to be one of the most wild things I’d experienced. The entire house sang happy birthday to Tolkien at some point during his party, but this was just our group. Clyde screamed the entire time. Kenny hit a note so high Stan had to pause and yell at him for ‘shattering his eardrums’. 

It was pure insanity. Cartman didn’t immediately blow out his candles though. He just looked at us all, trying to suppress a smile as he shook his head. 

“I love you guys so much.” 

Sky Full of Stars + 

“Okay, I’m so fucking confused,” Christophe breathed out. 

I shrugged, despite no one being around to see it. “What part specifically? Cause me too.” 

“So you’re best friends.” 

“Yes.” 

“And you love him.” 

“Yes.” 

“And he loves you.” 

“Unconfirmed.” 

He scoffed. “He loves you. Shut up.” The butterflies in my stomach screamed at me. I flopped back down on my back, sighing. “And you’re fake dating.” 

“Yes.” 

He let out a sound of frustration. “But you’re going on real dates.” 

“Yes, that is correct.” 

“Tweek. What the fuck.” 

“We’re trying to take it slow!” 

“You’re doing a shit job at it.” 

“I KNOW!”

  “So then why bother?” 

“I don’t-” I huffed quietly. “We were in a bad place for a really long time. You know that. Just snapping totally in the opposite direction isn’t healthy. There’s nothing wrong with not just nose diving into it.” 

He let out a quiet hum. “Are you afraid?” 

“I-” I paused. “Maybe?”

“Of?”

“I don’t know! Like, if we don’t work out, this’ll shatter our friendship completely? Or that he’ll have me and realize he doesn’t want me? Or that it’ll get too real and I won’t be able to handle it? I don’t fucking know. I forgave him for everything and I meant it. And I love him. I mean that. But there are so many things.” 

Another hum graced my ears. “Why do you find such difficulty in reaching for the things you want?” 

I felt a small pit in my stomach. “That’s a big question.” 

“It’s an important question.” 

“Maybe.” 

“It is.” 

My phone buzzed three times in rapid succession. “Craig’s here. I gotta go.” 

“Fucking-Tweek! Use your big beautiful brain when it matters. Idiot. Je t’aime.” 

A quiet laugh escaped me. “ Later. Je t’aime.” I hung up to check my phone. Craig texted me that he was outside and I quickly pulled myself together before walking downstairs and grabbing my bag. When I walked outside he greeted me with a tight hug. 

“Hi Tweek.” 

“Hi,” I responded, trying not to absolutely melt against him. 

He let go of me, lighting a cigarette before I could even register it. “Y’know deadlines are coming up soon right?” 

I nearly sputtered. “Schedule deadlines?” 

“Yeah. I saw the email this morning, so if you have anything you’re being picky about,” he nudged me, “you might want to start your tirade email to Charles soon.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “Summer literally just started!” 

“I skimmed it. They’re doing it early because the freshman class is bigger or some shit.” He laughed quietly. “I take it you are being fussy this year?” he teased. 

“I’m always fussy!” 

Craig threw the blanket under his arm on the ground with practiced ease. “Game it out.” 

“I mean, really it’s just science. My options are AP bio or physics. I’m still on the fence though. I thought we had more time! I don’t want to just get shoved into a class.” 

He sat down and I followed. He didn’t bother to look as he started pulling stuff out of his bag. “I thought there’d be no question about bio.” 

“I love bio. But I also feel like minimal physics knowledge when I know I’m gonna have to take it in college is so stupid. Like, that’s definitely a bad call, right?” 

“Then take physics with me.” 

I felt my nose twitch. “The fact that they made you wait until senior year to take physics is beyond me.” 

He shrugged. “No big deal. I’m pretty much guaranteed an A because they made me wait.” 

I laughed. “But I don’t get physics. That’s my one bad one.” 

“Okay. We’ll trade. I still need bio knowledge for college that I just don’t have.” 

A small smile crossed my face. “Really?” 

He started pouring cherry vodka in two plastic cups. I pulled my tiny jug of lemonade out of my bag, absentmindedly topping them off. “Yeah.”

I took a sip, wincing slightly. “You have Stan pours, you know that?” 

He laughed. “So like a tame version of the elusive gay bar pour?” 

“I’m telling you, they exist!” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he responded, small smile still there. Huh. He smiles so much now. Without warning, I aggressively tapped my plastic cup to his. “Really?” he groaned. 

“Yup!” I downed my drink as fast as I could. 

“I hate you,” he muttered, laughing quietly. 

I playfully rolled my eyes as I laid back, taking in the view above us. “Tell me something about physics.” 

He let out a quiet hum. “Everything just kinda moves together to make music.” I didn’t have to look to know that beautiful little glimmer was bright in his eyes. I sat with it for a while as we lapsed into comfortable quiet. “Tell me something about bio.” I discreetly reached into my pocket, glancing over. His eyes were up. I lit a cigarette causing him to look over with a chuckle. “Sneaky,” he muttered. 

I playfully rolled my eyes before passing it over. “Everything’s interconnected,” I murmured. “It’s all just part of the ever-evolving love letter that is the diversity of life.” 

When I accepted our cigarette, it came with a question. “Which one’s your favorite?” 

“Story-wise or aesthetically?” 

“I’ll take either.” 

“Virgo.” 

He laughed quietly. “Why?” 

“I like the version of the story you told me. About them having each other for four months.” 

“

“Are you happy?” 

He laughed quietly. “That’s a question.” I glanced over to see his eyes still up, small smile still there. He let out a little contemplative hum. “The past few weeks a lotta shit’s happened. And I think a lot of things kinda ended, in a lot of ways. Stuff that needed to end, I guess. And a lotta things started. And I think that was also something I needed, y’know. Like I didn’t know it. I was fine where I was, I guess. Like, before. But I also wasn’t good. I was really shut down.” Another quiet laugh bubbled out. “I’d argue the closet was not kind to either of us.”

 I nodded, despite neither of us looking at each other. I didn’t want to interrupt. Whenever he actually spoke like this, I never felt like I could. Not because it would bother him, but because everything he had to say felt so important and I just wanted to listen. 

“I think a lot of things that needed to come together came together and I just feel like me again, I guess.” I saw his hand travel upwards out of the corner of my eye. I peered over to see a much bigger smile as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m so fucking happy,” he murmured. His eyes trailed over. “You?” 

“I actually don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” I whispered. “Things were so bad for a while and then just…” I laughed. “What could I have possibly done to deserve this?” 

He reached over, taking my hand gently. He looked down as he brushed his thumb across my knuckles. “I think you deserve the world.” 

I thought I was going to explode, throw up, or die on the spot. But none of that happened. I ignored the surge of butterflies. “I think you deserve the world too.” 

[originalcontent]

Oooookay. Welcome back. Posting about pathologic part 4 I think? Part 4. We just reached Act 4 too, so everything’s going according to schedule. This gaming session had some ups and downs. Ups: That good good lore, and a lot of quality time spent with my good pals Daniil  and Changeling and also Clara apparently, although she might not be my good pal after all, but w/e. Downs: FUuuuUUUUCKkkk we are so bad at video games, and also the kin folk have become A Lot, holy shit. Where to start.

Okay so this time the game wasn’t actually super stressful for me personally bc this time I kind of just handed off the controls to my sister every time shit got dangerous. She’s a lot better at video games than me. Shoutout @akpaley​ for keeping me from dying from stress in real life.

The drawback of this is that since she’s a lot better at video games she’s also a lot more willing to actually take risks rather than just running away from literally everything. Which I won’t deny, has gotten us a lot of much-needed money and resources but also.

WELCOME TO THE FUCKING DEATH SPIRAL PART OF THE GAME. I guess it had to happen eventually, right? Fuuuuuuuck us, do you have any fucking idea how much shit you have to redo when you’re randomly shanked by some dude every fifteen minutes? And they’re harder to fight every time we come back, apparently, and also our health is like permanently half gone? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck why are there not more clocks.

Victor Kain, you were the one who made the clocks?? I could fucking kiss you. I owe you my life. Or like, six hundred of my lives. Hhh.

Okay, seriously though, the clock lore is actually kind of sick. Victor told us that they’re smaller versions of the cathedral, and we were like “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THaT’S WHerE wE RESET THE GaME IN THe PROLOGUE!!!!!!! METAPHYSICS!!!!!!!!!” The Kains are so cool.

(Maria Kaina got infected tho. Sorry, you. :( Although technically that happens later.)

Um, we gave the rest of our shmowder to Khan. We’re out now. We’ve been looking for more but haven’t found anything.

Also we made a random potion, and the plague showed up and was like “fuck you,” and I was like “damn, calm the hell down, you’re the one fucking killing people.”

Met with the Saburovs more. They were like “we have another suspect!” and I was like “yeah they probably don’t but w/e” and my sister was like “they’re in an infected land and we should probably save their lives” and I was like “why do we care about helping the Saburovs again, literally all they do is accuse random people of killing my dad, the Kains are obviously the best family, we should just be throwing in with them” and she was like “that’s not all they do, they also run the guards, you know those guys who patrol plague districts?” and I was like “okay fuck you’re right let’s visit them” and it turns out that that there was actually some super cool lore pertaining to the town’s mistresses. Also, god if they don’t have some cool reflections. I love everything about this town’s history.

Afterwards we randomly decided to visit Yulia for literally no reason, and she was like “I’m glad you’re here, I have a lot of super heavy important shit to discuss with you about the Inquisition that will be here tomorrow, it sure is convenient that you’re in my neighborhood for some reason even though I live in an incredibly inconvenient location?” Also she knows something about the nature of Artemy, Daniil, and Clara-or maybe the Changeling but she called her Clara? Oh yeah, Daniil was there too for some reason. Poor guy, I don’t think he’s okay. He cried on my shoulder a lot, he was endearingly open and earnest and for once I felt bad about the dialogue options wherein Artemy throws shade.

And then Clara happened to be standing outside literally right then? I wonder if that was going to be a big quest location and we just happened to arrive right before the game told us to go there anyway. I think that’s it actually. We’re so good, damn. Clara keeps pulling shit and then immediately trying to reconcile and asking for help. I really like her, but we really shouldn’t be trusting her right?

Oh Murky was also there and she set up a meeting between us and her “friend” and that night we went and Clara and Changeling were both there and I’m so confused???? What is her deal? But!! Changeling facilitated a deal between me and the plague! And Murky is now off the hit list!!!!!!!!!! Does this mean she’ll live? Anyway the plague started talking to us, and our infection rose a bit in an unhealable way, and, dumbasses that we were, said “wow this is probably all just the natural consequence of the bargain we made. Guess there’s literally nothing we can do to address this.” (Spoiler: That is not the case, the cost of the pact was literally just that we became infected and would have to cure it with fire before it killed us. We figured that out eventually, I promise.)

Fast forward to the next day after we finish the day’s entire fucking plotline, when we have done literally nothing so our infection’s increased a shit ton and it starts actually killing us. And since we only have like half our potential health bar from getting killed so much, we literally can’t survive long enough to treat it. We run around trying to cure ourselves and die like ten more times before we finally accept that we just have to go back in time to before the infection was this bad, try to get cured immediately, and redo the whole day. There’s a whole fucking skeleton out by the theatre by now btw. Fucking death spirals. This play session took a long fucking time okay?

Alright, flash backward again. After talking with Changeling, we visit Stakh because after rescuing him twice in a row he promised we could talk. We go to his house and he’s sleeping, or maybe just pretending to sleep, but either way Artemy has the absolute sweetest little monologue, just talking to him, and so much has happened but I can tell there’s still a lot of tenderness there between them even if it’s buried deep, and it’s just such a soft scene against such a harsh story.

Guess who’s dead by morning.

The next day Aglaya showed up and was like “see me immediately,” so obviously we visit Capella and then town hall first off. Daniil’s there, he bitches to me about Aglaya for a bit. So cute, we really are friends. I promise to help him with corpse duty bc Capella wanted me to visit Grace anyway. We talk to the official people at the official desks, one is collecting babies, one is giving me some lunch money as a very good reward for being a very good little surgeon, and one is telling me that actually money is illegal now but here are some free coupons that actually are too cheap to buy anything with.

Aglaya is the woman from the prologue! Hhhh things are really building to a point, aren’t they. I wonder how Yulia knows her. But damn, the whole village was out there waiting to meet with her weren’t they.

I made a deal with the rat prophet to clear some space in the graveyard so Grace would be okay. Dunno what will come of that. I’ve been seeing him everywhere lately though.

I met with Oyun and gave him my dad’s house. I met with Aspity and was like “did you kill Stakh” and she gave me some vague shit, and in general I am very upset at the kinfolk right now but I tried to save them anyway. Went to the termitary and did the whole termitary thing. Wow that sure is a place, right? God, have I ever mentioned how much I love all the screaming soundtracks  in this game.

Damn, Taya’s whole child queen vibe is unsettling.

The whole termitary is horrible, and what the kin folk have been put through is horrible, but their obsession with blood and strength legit terrifies me. I’ve spent all my time until now trying to convince everyone that they aren’t bad, and that they aren’t to blame for the disease, but now they want to kill? And they really really really want me to be a killer too. And the whole thing with Taya is creepy as fuck too, she’s just a kid. Anyway, we’re sending Vlad the older to them, I don’t know whether he or his son deserves to be torn apart more, but Changeling was really upset at the idea of Vlad the younger going there, so I guess we’re backing her. We run all around town making sure the right Olgimsky is going, and then we realize we actually have a few hours left so we take a hospital shift too! And then we die of disease like six times.

Okay, flash forward again, we’ve gone back, gotten some guy to molotov cocktail us, redone the entire termitary thing, saved the game on Vlad’s clock after sending him to his doom (sorry dude). That’s where we’re at currently.

(Only it’s not actually, we went back and spent like an hour going back and forth between the termitary and Oyun again trying to deal with their shit, and everyone was like “murder all dissenters :D” and I was like “what the fuck” and the day was almost over but then a dude stabbed us and we randomly died, and none of these places had clocks, so at that point we were basically like “yeah it’s after midnight, let’s just call it quits.”)

Anything else......oh, the warehouses are at risk again. Notkin and Sticky, what would I do if anything happened to them. I hope my medicines are good enough, I gave some to Bad Grief too but now all there really is to do is wait. :(

Oh, I once again have thoughts on how fucking theatrical is it that everything in the game is simultaneously literal and metaphorical, it’s gorgeous, and have I mentioned the costuming choices for the Orderlies and the Plague, hhhhhhhh, not to say anything nice about Mark fucking Immortell, but he knows what he’s doing with this thing. Listen if this post weren’t already way too long I would just gush about the theatrical elements again, but sadly it is too long.

Okay, that was our latest session! We’ll be back either very soon or in like three weeks.

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 8: A Lecture on Trespassers

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/65517814

Summary: What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?

But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - -

Gordon had to admit that it had been a while since he organized such a big breakfast. It brought his years at MIT back to mind where he and his roommates somehow collectively managed to keep each other on their feet, food included.

 But his worries over the possible mediocrity of what he, Dr Coomer and Bubby might have created - with him being the only one who had actual physical experience with cooking - went right out the window when he saw the looks of amazement and gratefulness at the table.

 Despite having said that he needed neither sleep nor food, Benrey had stacked his plate with a bit of everything that had been brought on the table. If he had been any other person, Gordon would have been concerned. But it was likely that everyone at the table either hadn’t had a proper meal in quite a while or had never had the chance to have one before.

 So when Benrey was carefully layering a pancake with ham, a fried egg, cheese and peanut butter, Gordon just watched with a soft amused smile. 

 Meanwhile, Tommy was losing his mind over the concept of Nutella-Banana toast.

“I-I can’t believe I missed out on this! They never had anything like this at the Black Mesa cafeteria!”

 Gordon chuckled.

 “Doesn’t surprise me, bud. But now you can have that every day if you want.”, he added with an assuring smile.

 Tommy nodded in excitement, already in the process of making another Nutella-covered toast, exchanging his left-over banana slices for Darnold’s strawberries.

 Darnold added the banana to his honey wheat cereal in thought, then looked up to meet Gordon’s gaze.

 “Apologies in advance for prying, Gordon… but I do have a question, If you don’t mind.”

 Gordon blinked over the edge of his mug, cutting the sip of hot cacao short.

 “Sure, man! What’s up?”

 “Well… I recalled your reaction from last night when Bubby talked about exploring the world outside. You seemed… alarmed. Why?”

 Gordon set his mug down, brows furrowed as he looked at his plate. He figured he’d have to tell the Science Team about the outside world eventually...

 “It isn’t as safe as you’d think, guys.”

 “No place is ‘safe’, Gordon.”, Bubby scoffed while cutting his omelette into bite-sized pieces.

 “I am aware, but this is… simulation levels of ‘not safe’.”, Gordon clarified.

 “What do you mean, Gordon? D-Do you guys had natural disasters recently? We understand! We can deal with stuff like that! No worries-”, Tommy threw in, but Gordon held up his hand. 

 “Let me… go get my laptop. I need you guys to know what’s going on.”

 With that said, Gordon got up and went into his bedroom, missing the confused glances the Science Team exchanged among each other. 

 When he returned, Gordon set up his projector and plugged the connection cable into his laptop. He let out a sigh, then opened a folder on his desktop.

 “Alright, welcome to class 101 of ‘Gordon explains what the fuck has been going on on Earth that shit’s fucked up outside’...”, he said, adjusting his glasses and getting into lecture mode. 

 He watched as the Science Team huddled closer to each other at the table, curiously looking at the projection on the wall… but still keeping at it with the breakfast. Gordon smiled softly before reminding himself of what he was doing. 

 “... August 10th, 2013. San Francisco. We thought it was a 7.1 earthquake at first. Bad enough to begin with… but then the video feeds and photos got to the news...”

 The Science Team watched with high attention as Gordon opened up a video file of a news recording. 

 The Golden Gate bridge was swinging dangerously in clear view- until the camera focused on something else.

 Something huge. 

 Something absolutely massive. 

 What emerged from the waters could only be described as a leviathan of a monster. It tore the bridge down with ease and almost instantly made its way towards the city, dragging itself through the water completely unphased by the military attacking it with comparably small aerial strikes. 

 “We called it “Trespasser” since it was the first of its kind we were forced to face.”, Gordon added, his voice sounding heavy with memories.

 The video ended and Gordon turned back, facing his friends. 

 Tommy had his hands covering his mouth in shock, Darnold was holding Sunkist oh-so-gently with horror in his eyes, Bubby was clawing at the table as he stared with wide eyes and even Dr Coomer sat there with concern in his face. 

 The last person Gordon expected to be shocked by this though, was Benrey, who looked positively mortified. 

 “Dude, w-what the FUCK?”, he managed to stutter out.

 “Y-You say it was the ‘first”? There were m-more?!”, Tommy asked.

 Gordon just nodded at that. 

 “The next one arrived 6 months later in Manila-”

 “Six months… that was barely time to rebuild the other city...”, Dr Coomer mused, more to himself than to the others.

 “Then came another one 4 months later in Cabo San Lucas-”

 “They were arriving faster???”, Bubby exclaimed with horror.

 Gordon nodded, pulling up pictures after pictures, playing videos to put emphasis on the seriousness of the whole ordeal. 

 “It was a disaster… We faced smaller ones than Trespasser occasionally… but the big ones got even bigger over time. We faced several each year until only recently. As you can imagine, Earth is still very much damaged in a lot of places because of this. Some areas are completely uninhabitable because of the acidic and poisonous nature of the Kaiju remains-”

 Benrey almost chocked on a piece of bacon-

 “You guys called them ‘Kaiju’??? Like, uh- Godzilla? Big Lizard???”

 Gordon let out a soft chuckle.

 “Yeah… one of the lead scientists behind the research of these beasts is a massive nerd. At first, he only called them that at work to differentiate the samples he got… then the names actually stuck over time in the official reports.”

 Coomer raised his hand.

 “Gordon, how did humanity fight these beasts? It looks like the military was once again absolutely useless!”

 Gordon clicked through his files, looking positively excited to show off whatever humanity's defence system had been- 

 “So, uhm, before I click play… basically humanity got together and formed the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps or PPDC for short. Within the PPDC was the research division… and that included the scientists and engineers who worked on these-”

 What the team saw next in the projection, made several of them gasp in excitement and astonishment.

 The video showed a dragon-like kaiju getting absolutely wrecked by what could only be described as a massive robot.

 “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”, Bubby exclaimed.

 “Yooooo, what the fuuuuuuuck, man...”, Benrey added, holding his head in his hands, eyes still glued to the projection.

 “This… h-how-”, stammered Darnold, staring in awe.

 “Oh, that is quite the fine work of robotics, Gordon! Very sturdy by the looks of it!”, Dr Coomer observed, giving an approving nod, “So you used these to defeat the kaiju in one-on-one fights?”

 “Well, if we could, we had more Jaeger facing one Kaiju- and yes, my nerd buddy at the PPDC also named the class of the robots.”, Gordon clarified with a chuckle. 

 Tommy perked up at that.

 “That man is your friend, Gordon? Can we meet him?”

 “Well, I haven’t talked to Newton in quite some time… and not with Hermann either… I could e-mail them and ask where they’re stationed so we could meet and catch up? Heh… yeah, I should do that. Newt especially would love you guys!”

 Meanwhile, Bubby leaned back in his chair, arms crossed and glaring at the images still being projected.

 “So… the reason it’s dangerous outside is that these things could pop up anywhere at any moment?”, he asked.

 Gordon made a so-so motion with his hand. 

 “Not quite. The Breach, that’s what we called the portal to their world, was closed not too long ago… but we still deal with the damages and the toxic kaiju remains...”

 Gordon pulled up a photo of an entire coastline glowing in an unnatural blue in broad daylight. 

 “We call this ‘Kaiju Blue’... the closest comparison I could make is that it’s… like acidic oil-like blood. Basically don’t get near any of this at any point. Compared to it, the Green Sludge back in Black Mesa was just a glow-in-the-dark kiwi slushie.”

 That comment earned Gordon a few chuckles and amused huffs.

 “But yes… this is the main reason I want you all to be careful when we go outside. The PPDC still studies what the fuck this stuff can do to a human body… and I don’t want to find out what it might do to you guys. Just… no slurping the toxic alien juice, please?”, Gordon pleaded.

 To his surprise, the team gave him assuring nods.

 “Gordon, normally I would say that you’d be a party pooper… but since we’re all new to this terrifying information, be assured that we will listen. After all, you’re now the specialist!”, Dr Coomer said with a smile.

 Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed at the reassurance. This was a welcome change from what he had been used to from the Science Team in the simulation.

 “Thanks, guys. I… I know this is a lot to take in- and please take your time to process it! - but I just… I needed you guys to be aware.”

 “Oh, it’s alright, Gordon! I-I think it will slowly sink in over a few days, right guys?”, Tommy asked, turning to the others at the table.

 “I’m already done processing… but we need your laptop for more research, Gordon. I want to know more details on that whole disaster before I take even one step outside.”, Bubby muttered before sipping on his now cold coffee.

 “Of course! And don’t be afraid to ask me about anything, related or unrelated to all this! Honestly, the more I can help with you guys being prepared for the outside world, the better I feel about our whole situation.”

 Gordon turned off the projector for the time being and sat back down at the table.

 “And, uh… thank you all for listening and letting me explain? I’m not used to that from you guys… but yeah, thanks.”, he said with a weak but grateful smile.

 Darnold reached over, putting a hand on his shoulder, while his other hand was still gently petting Sunkist. 

 “Hey, know that we’ll always listen to you from now on. The simulation was one thing… but this is reality. I think I speak for everyone when I say that while bantering with you is álways fun, we won’t push your buttons to a frustrating level anymore. Especially while you’re still recovering.”

 Gordon simply nodded at that, playing with the rim of his shirt. 

 Suddenly, he stood up once more, startling Darnold slightly.

 “Gordon, a-are you okay?”, the mixologist asked.

 Gordon nodded, looking quite serious all of the sudden.

 “I… I want you guys to meet someone.”

 Benrey visibly perked up.

 “Oh shit!- is it son time? Haven’t seen him around so… uh… road trip to go see Gordon Jr?”

 “I can’t wait to meet your son, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer chimed in.

 “W-Well, we don’t need to go anywhere to meet him… uhm… give me a second, I just need to go get my closet key-”

 “CLOSET KEY???”, gasped Tommy in shock.

 “TOMMY, DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT IT WILL MAKE SENSE IN A SECOND I SWEAR!”, Gordon yelled back while he was scrambling to find his keys.

 The entire team watched in a mix of judgement, curiosity and excitement as Gordon unlocked the storage closet that Benrey had sat on top of earlier that morning. 

 They saw his anxious expression completely melt away to make way for a loving gaze as he pulled out something orb-shaped from within the closet depths.

 A sleepy chirp-like sound suddenly emerged from what Gordon was holding.

 “Hey… ‘morning, bud. Dad’s finally back home...”, Gordon said with the most gentle voice any of the Science Team members had ever heard him speak with.

 Another chirp, this time a bit louder-

 “....dad? DAD! YOU’RE BACK!!!!”

 Suddenly the orb-shaped object launched itself out of Gordon’s arms and flew in rapid circles around him, making the man laugh. He reached out and pulled the orb out of the air, hugging it close. 

 “I am! Hey, uhm… dad brought some friends over. They are really excited to meet you. Do you want to go say hello to them?”, he asked gently. 

 The Science Team watched in anticipation as Gordon walked back to the table, arms wrapped protectively around something that was as big as volley-ball.

 Tommy gasped softly as he leaned over to get a better look.

 A small screen on the orb slowly came into view, displaying a curious little face consisting of numbers and symbols. 

 Two appendages, seemingly constructed in part out of computer mice, pulled the small being further up as it looked warily over Gordon’s arm at the Science Team.

 Gordon smiled proudly at the display of mutual curiosity. 

 “Everyone… meet Joshua.”

[colbybrocksmolder]

Awkward Boner – Colby Brock x Reader

“COLBY!” The group yelled. He was over at Heath’s house with Sam, Brennen, and Jay to film a video and hang out.

The premise of the video was simple. Answer a personal question or pick a dare out of the hat. Colby had admitted to a few things, but the last question made him tap out. He jokingly had darted from the hotseat, jumping the little wall and running down the street to avoid picking a dare.

“GET BACK HERE YOU PUSSY!” Brennen had yelled after him, the rest of the group laughing.

He had good reason for fearing the hat full of dares. So far Heath had to shave part of his head, Sam had to wax an entire leg, Brennen committed to getting a small tattoo that said “yeehaw” and Jay…Well Jay had to send a not so modest text to the girl he liked.

“I don’t wanna!” Colby whined, sitting back down in the hotseat.

“Pick a dare, bitch.” Heath mocked him, holding the hat forward.

“Please be easy, please be easy, please be easy…” Colby whispered, opening the folded piece of paper. “FUUUUUUUCK” He whined, passing the paper off to Sam before dropping his head to rest in his hands.

“Get both nipples pierced. May take them immediately out.” Sam read out loud.

“That’s not THAT bad.” Heath said, teasing him.

“Yeah, you’ve got tons of piercings and tattoos already. You might even like them.” Sam agreed.

Colby just shook his head back and forth, his chin resting on his fists. “When do I have to do it by?” he asked, looking at Heath.

“I don’t post for another week.” He answered.

Colby nodded. “I’ll call my piercer, Y/n. She was going to change Jake’s jewelry out this week anyways.”

The video ended and the boys finished hanging out. When Sam and Colby headed back to their apartment building, Colby stopped by Jake’s.

“Come in!” he heard Jake yell after he knocked. Colby walked in the apartment and dropped down onto the couch. “You okay?” Jake laughed. “You look like someone stole your puppy.”

Colby sighed. “I had to pick a dare in Heath’s video and I have to get my nipples pierced.”

Jake gave him a funny look. “That’s nowhere near the worst thing you’ve ever had to do for a video.”

“There’s just a little issue.” Colby blushed, turning to stare at Jake.

Jake scooted away from Colby. “Why do I feel like I don’t want to know what you’re about to tell me?” He laughed.

“You know what, fine. I’ll go by myself.” Colby huffed, standing to leave.

“COLBY! I’m kidding!” Jake reached out, grabbing his arm. “When have I ever actually judged you or outed your shit?”

Sitting back on the couch, Colby let his head drop into his hands. He told Jake his “secret” but it was so muffled he couldn’t understand him.

“What?” Jake laughed, seeing Colby so embarrassed. When he didn’t immediately repeat himself, Jake continued. “Dude, you know like ALL of my embarrassing shit. This can’t be THAT bad.”

Colby rubbed his face, turning to look at Jake. “I said, I get really turned on when ANYONE touches my nipples. If I have to sit through Y/N cleaning, and touching, and pinching, and poking my nipples…Dude, I’m gonna get a hard on. I know it.”

Jake busted out laughing and ended up inhaling his own spit. “Fuck.” After about a 30 second coughing fit, he took a deep breath and giggled.

“That’s what you get for laughing at me.” Colby finally cracked a smile, knowing that even though he was legitimately stressed out…this shit was pretty funny.

“This is karma, brother.” Jake laughed. “You said you were going to ask her out like 6 months ago. Maybe if you had nutted up back then, she’d already have seen you with a boner.” Jake barely finished his sentence, busting a gut all over again.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” Colby sighed, laughing. “I have to just tell her, right?”

“I mean, unless you want to surprise her with it.” Jake answered.

Colby grabbed one of Jake’s pillows and whacked Jake in the face with it. “Jake!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He laughed, yanking the pillow out of Colby’s hands. “You guys are friends, dude. Just talk to her about it. I’m sure this is nothing compared to the weird shit she sees in her shop.”

Colby’s eyes went wide. “That’s true.”

Jake’s appointment wasn’t for a few days, but Colby wanted to drop by and talk to you ahead of time and just get everything out and in the open. “Hey, Jack.” He said, shaking one of your piercer’s hands. “Is Y/n here?”

“Yeah, yeah. She’s just chillin’ in her room. Do you have an appointment?” he asked, reaching for their book.

“Nah, I just wanted to talk about a piercing I’m getting later. She knows I’m stopping by.” Colby answered.

“Oh, just head back, dude. You’re on the friends list. I’m gonna lock the door soon, though, so make sure you let her know to lock it after you leave.” Jack instructed.

“I’m on a list?” Colby asked, a bit shocked. The two of you had hit it off, but he was still always nervous around you. He didn’t think he’d made that great of an impression.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s like our “safe” list. Like, if we’re here early these people are allowed in the shop. Or like, this is the list of people we’re allowed to answer questions to. Like if you called and asked if y/n was here, normally we don’t answer that. We tell them we’ll have her get back to them and get their number, but this list is people we trust.” He tried explaining.

“Oh, rad. Good to know.” He smiled at Jack and walked to the back where your office/piercing room was. “Y/n?” he called, walking into the dark-ish room.

“Flip the light on.” You called from your piercing chair.

Colby slid his hands over the wall looking for the switch. When he found it, he flipped it on. “You okay?” he asked, seeing you cover your eyes. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I just have this killer headache. This is day three of this monster.” You answered, your hand reaching back over your shoulder to rub the muscles in your neck.

“Damn, can I get you anything?” Colby asked, moving to sit on the other chair.

“Sadly, no. I think I’ve tried everything there is to try. I may go get a massage tomorrow. Jack said it would help.” You answered, sighing. “What can I do for you, though?” you smiled over at Colby.

Colby’s cheeks turned red pretty instantly, remembering why he was there. “I have a compromise.��� He shyly smiled. “I’m going to massage your shoulders and your neck for you so that I can ask you this really fucking awkward question without having to look you in the eyes.” He laughed.

You laughed, giving him a confusing look. “A really awkward question, huh?”

Colby nodded, biting his lip and closing his eyes. “The most awkward, y/n.” he laughed.

“Hell, I’m not going to say no. First, there’s no way your question is as awkward as you think. Remember, I’ve pierced A LOT of body parts.” You stopped to make a dramatic face. “Second, my head is killing me and I’m willing to try pretty much anything at this point to make it better.”

Colby stood and flipped the light back off, walking to stand behind you. “I’ll start at the beginning I guess.” He said, his fingers starting to work the knots out of your muscles. “I was in this video….” He continued telling you how he ended up in this position.

“Ooo, getting your nipples pierced is one of those ones that hurts decently bad when you’re getting it done, but people absolutely love having once it’s healed.” You commented after he had gotten to the part with the dare. You let your head fall forward, feeling Colby’s thumbs start to work up the back of your neck into your hairline. “You should do this for a living, by the way.” You practically moaned.

Colby’s mouth went dry hearing the noises you were making. “Yeah?” he asked, his fingers continuing to knead your tense muscles. “Is it helping?”

“Definitely.” You answered, reaching back to move one of his hands back to where it had been a moment ago. “Dude, whatever you did right there…it immediately helped.”

“Like this?” he asked, digging his fingers into the tight tangled muscle.

“Colby.” You moaned, feeling the pressure that had tormented you for days slowly dissipate.

“Y/n, I can’t ask you awkward questions if you keep moaning my name like that.” Colby teased, laughing. On the inside he was freaking out. He had shown up to tell you his worries about embarrassing himself in front of you and it turns out he was about to do it before you even got to the piercings.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” You laughed. “Honestly, this feels better than any sex I’ve had in a long time, so the moaning makes sense.” You joked. Well, you said it as a joke. It wasn’t really a joke. “Why are you worried about getting your nipples pierced? The aftercare is pretty easy, honestly.”

“If that’s the case, you’re sleeping with the wrong people.” Colby laughed. “And it’s not the piercing part I’m worried about. Or the aftercare. You always make sure to take care of us with that stuff. I’m worried I’m going to…” He hesitated, his fingers pausing in their movements.

“Colby?” You encouraged him to continue.

“I’m worried I’m going to embarrass myself. If that makes sense.” He said, his fingers slowly starting to move again.

You sat there thinking for a moment. “Do you mean…Are you just really sensitive there?” you asked, wondering why he was so worried.

“You could say that.” Colby chuckled out. “Combine that with the fact that my piercer is this beautiful, funny, dare I say sexy individual…”

“You think Jack’s sexy?” You teased him, thoroughly enjoying how nervous Colby was.

Jack walked in the room, flipping the light on. “Did someone say I was sexy?” he asked, making a weird face.

You laughed, hearing Colby laugh behind you. “Are you locking up, Jack?”

“I am indeed. I’ll see you tomorrow!” he said, turning to leave. “Do you want the light off?” he turned back to ask.

“Nah, leave it on.” You answered, watching Jack leave. The two of you heard the bells ring on the front door, indicating he had left and locked up.

“Your head feeling better?” he asked, his hands still rubbing circles into your muscles.

“Insanely better.” You answered, reaching back and grabbing one of his hands. “I think I need to pay you back.” You said, climbing off of the piercing chair. “Lay down.”

“What?” Colby asked, his eyes going wide.

“Come on. You’re worried about this and it’s going to stress you out all week. Let’s just do it now.” You encouraged.

“Fuuuck.” Colby groaned, tossing his head back. “So, this isn’t going to be awkward? You aren’t going to ban me from your shop or anything?” he asked, forcing a laugh.

“Silly boy.” You said, adjusting your piercing chair to lay back. Patting it so he’d lay down. “Ditch the shirt.”

When you turned to sort through your supplies, Colby reached down and adjusted himself in his pants. Between the moaning, giving you the massage, and the anticipation of you piercing his nipples he was already sporting a half chub. “At least tell me I won’t be the first person in your chair to get an awkward boner.”

That made you snort. “First, if a piercing turns you on, more power to you. You’ve chosen the right piercing.” You laughed. “Second, there’s nothing awkward about a half-naked, turned on, Colby Brock laying in my chair.” You turned to smirk at him.

“I can’t tell if you’re saying that because you believe it or if you think I’m a weirdo and you’re trying to put me at ease.” He laughed, laying down in the piercing chair.

“I’m shocked your buddy Jake hasn’t outed me yet.” You laughed, grabbing the supplies and putting them on the tray next to the chair. “He caught me checking you out last time you were in and asked me if I liked you.”

“WHAT?!” Colby practically yelled.

“See, now we both have a reason to feel awkward.” You laughed, grabbing his shirt from him. “You still want to go through with this?”

Colby looked down at his now very obvious bulge before covering his face with his hands. “Y/n, I think my answer is obvious.”

You looked down, happy with the answer. “In that case…I have a few questions. Are you single?”

“Very.” He quickly answered.

“Do you like me?”

Colby smirked, looking you up and down. “I wasn’t lying when I said my piercer was beautiful, funny, and sexy.”

“Do you just want to sleep with me, or do you want to date me?” You asked, your eyes wandering over his naked torso down to what looked like an impressive package hidden within his black skinny jeans. When you looked back up at his face, he wore a soft smile.

“I would love to date you.” He said, his cheeks once again turning pink.

Looking at his blushing face, you couldn’t help but smile. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek before moving your lips to his ear. “Then do you want to have a little fun with this?”

You could hear Colby’s breath catch, his body shivering and little goosebumps appearing across his flesh. “Jesus, I’m actually going to come in my pants like a 13 year old if you keep doing stuff like that.”

You breathed out a silent laugh, connecting your lips with his. “See, if we did this my way, you wouldn’t be coming IN your pants.”

Colby nodded his head quickly, leaning up to connect your lips once more in a quick kiss. “I’m in.”

Slipping on your gloves, you grabbed the alcohol wipe and cleaned the first nipple. “I’m going to pierce this one first so you can get used to the feeling, okay?”

Colby moaned when your fingers brushed the alcohol wipe over his now hard nipple. “Okay.” He started dragging his fingers up and down the skin of his stomach.

“You weren’t lying when you said you were sensitive.” You teased, pinching his other nipple between your fingers with the alcohol wipe.

Colby had to stop himself from arching his back away from the piercing chair. “Now you see why I was so worried.” He laughed.

You grabbed your pen and marked where the piercings would sit. “Sit up for a second so I can double check that these are straight.” He sat up gingerly, trying not to rub himself against his jeans, his legs hanging off the side of the chair. “Perfect.” You said, approving of where you had marked his skin. “These are actually going to look gorgeous on you.” You smiled up at him.

“I’m glad you approve.” He smirked. “You know, since my hope is that you’ll be the one seeing and touching them all the time.”

You pulled your gloves off, knowing you’d have to put fresh ones on before you opened the needle. You moved to stand between Colby’s knees. “I think I like the sound of that.” You said, your lips grazing his ear and your hand cupping him through his jeans.

His forehead dropped to rest on your shoulder. “I told you what would happen if you kept doing that.” He groaned.

“Lay back.” You laughed, backing away from where he was sat. “Nothing special for the first one. I’m going to use the forceps to pinch it, I’ll run the needle through, I’ll remove the forceps, and then I’ll slip your jewelry through.” You said, putting on new gloves.

Colby took a few deep breaths. “Okay. I’m ready.” He said, staring at the ceiling.

“One…two…three…” you pushed the needle through his skin.

“Y/n.” Colby moaned, his head slamming back against the cushion.

You removed the forceps and let him chill for a second. “Can I switch the needle for the jewelry?” you asked, smirking down at him.

“Yeah.” Colby answered, his breaths coming out ragged. “I’m so glad Jack went home.”

That made you laugh. “Probably for the better. He would have wanted to watch.”

You switched the needle for the jewelry and screwed on the tiny steel ball. “Is it done?” Colby asked, looking down at his freshly pierced nipple.

“That one is.” You answered. “Now for this one…” you pinched the flesh of his other nipple between your gloved fingers. “I’ve got other plans.”

“Fuck.” Colby groaned, moving his hand over his bulge to try to relieve some of the pressure.

You leaned down and kissed Colby. “Unzip your jeans.” You instructed, pressing kisses across his exposed collarbone. “Now touch yourself.” You said, standing back up to watch him.

“Re…really?” he asked, his hand hesitating in his boxers.

“Colby, pull yourself out of your boxers and touch yourself.” You repeated, pinching his unpierced nipple.

“Fuck me.” Colby moaned, his hand moving to jerk himself closer to his already close orgasm.

“I’m going to do the same thing for this nipple, okay?” you grabbed the forceps and placed them in the right position on his nipple. “Don’t stop moving your hand.” You said, going to count down to the needle.

“Y/n, I’m already gonna come.” Colby cried out, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Perfect.” You grinned, pushing the needle through his flesh.

Colby threw his head back, his hand rubbing himself through his climax. When you went to switch the needle for the jewelry, he nearly cried out.

“That was honestly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen happen in this room.” You laughed, ditching your gloves and grabbing a damp paper towel to clean Colby’s now sticky stomach and hand.

Colby laid there, trying to catch his breath. “Just in this room?” The two of you laughed.  

“How are you feeling?” you asked, leaning down to press a kiss against his lips.

As you went to pull away, Colby’s hands moved to cradle your face. He held your lips against his, deepening the kiss. When he finally broke the kiss and sat up, he kept his hands on your cheeks. “That was, no lie, the most intense thing I’ve ever felt in my life.” He quickly pecked your lips with his before removing his hands and tucking himself back in his jeans.

“Just wait a few months. Once they’re healed, you’re open to a whole new world.” You smirked.

“Jesus, I have to wait months before we can touch them?” He asked.

“I’ll show you how to clean them, but yes. You want them to heal well so you can have fun with them after.” You explained.

“Damn. Looks like I’ll just have to play with yours until mine are healed, then.” Colby teased, his hands resting at your waist.

“Oh, mine have been healed for years. You can play with them all you want.” You agreed.

Colby groaned, pulling you back into a kiss. “I didn’t even know you had yours pierced. You’re introducing me to all sorts of new things.”

“Want me to take a picture for your friend’s video?” you asked, enjoying the lazy kisses you and Colby were sharing.

“Yes, actually. That would be perfect. I’ll make sure he puts your shop in the description, too.” He said, posing in front of a mural inside your shop so you could take the picture.

“I got a few so you could choose.” You said, handing him back his phone and putting away your piercing supplies.

“Hey, Y/n.” Colby moved to stand behind you, his hands once again finding your waist. “You’re really going to let me take you out, right?” He asked, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I really do want to date you.”  

You let out a soft laugh. “Of course. I really did tell Jake I had a crush on you.”

“I was supposed to ask you out like six months ago.” Colby replied. “I was just a massive pussy about it.”

You turned, making sure not to hit Colby’s piercings. “I can think of a few ways you could make that up to me.” You smiled up at him.

“I think you should write them down with my aftercare instructions.” Colby teased, leaning down to connect your lips. “Better yet, come to my place and show me. I want to make sure I get this right.”

[something-tofightfor]

The Punisher Season 2: Episodes 11-13

Initial reactions as I watched these episodes.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. I literally tagged it four different ways for spoilers so if you read them after this it’s your own damn fault. 

11: The Abyss Frank covered in blood and nearly dead and handcuffed.... stop me if you’ve heard this before Two person rescue mission at the hospital Amy seems concerned. Curtis is about done with Frank’s shit John. I think your wife is dead...nevermind. She is dead. Yikes. So this is all for nothing. FUCKING KAREN KAREN Karen is fucking heeeeeeeere K A R E N SHE IS NOT LETTING ANYONE KEEP HER FROM FRANK IVE BEEN WAITING THIS IS ALL IN CAPS BUT HOLY HELL THIS IS EVERYTHING But what the fuck is she wearing a cape LOOK AT HER FRANK how do you feel about him Karen FUCKING SAY IT SAY IT YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT Madani is so obsessed with this. I don’t think frank killed those women. I think they were already dead and billy had a plan to make him think that he did. And it’s working IM SO SICK OF THESE DEAD WIFE FLASHBACKS THEYRE HOLDING HANDS I REPEAT HOLDING HANDS All frank wanted was a family and to be done... my heart is aching. Frank talking about his kids oh my god Straight into “i would have killed anything that got in my way” Lmfao everyone is in this room - WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK RING RING ITS BILLY FUCK OFF KRISTA what I’m trying to figure out is why Krista is helping him - what is her motive? I was right. Frank didn’t kill them. I’m going to blame it all on this bitch because I don’t like her. She keeps saying “for us”... what is this us? Doesn’t she understand that Billy won’t leave? He wants the things that he’s worked for... not just her... or maybe not her at all. He says she makes him happy... but I don’t buy it. She’s saying all of the right things... but she doesn’t mean them. This.... im.... just... hmm. Time is running out for Billy to redeem himself. Ed is my favorite character. HERE COMES THE KRISTA BACK STORY spill all the details now because i hate you you dumb bitch BILLY DID NOT SAY US. He said we- but not us. NO NO NO NO you don’t love him. YEAH BITCH WHO WAS KM oh shit she has daddy issues. Everything makes sense now. Her father tried to kill her and threw her out a goddamn window... ok. So she fucking becomes a therapist and bangs her patient to get closure from the fact that her father tried to kill her. .................. Jesus Martha Kent, calm down. This dude is bad news. God at least take a selfie with frank AMY HOLY HELL LISTEN TO KAREN OH MY GOD HERE IT COMES DAMN STRAIGHT SHE WILL THROW EVERYTHING AWAY FOR YOU FRANK CASTLE “you cannot keep loving people in your dreams” FUCK OFF AMY JESUS CHRIST FUCK ALL THE FUCKING WAY OFF YOU DUMB LITTLE BRAT Frank castle in full police uniform FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF all he wanted were her shoes 🤣 oh, Ed Goddammit Brett

12: Collision Course Brett is a shit driver Another Manson song... hmmmmmmmm Oh yikes that’s an ambulance crash if I’ve ever seen one Brett doesn’t look so good Well that’s one way to fix a dislocated shoulder there frank Holy god supporting a grown ass man on a fucked shoulder “BR 143/24” graffiti on the bridge.... wonder if it’s just coincidence but it’s the only thing on the wall so i don’t think it is Good choice Brett Well fuck Pilgrim is going to Madani’s house BILLY RUSSO IS NOT GOING TO RUN OFF WITH YOU FUCKING KRISTA if this isn’t a long con on his part, I’m going to be fucking pissed. He didn’t say “i promise” and you lied to him. Don’t lie to billy Billy may be mentally unstable but Krista is ILL. Why is she calling Madani?!? She’s too fucking detactched MADANI SEE FUCKING PAST YOUR OWN NOSE FOR ONE SECOND AND FIGURE THIS OUT wait i think she just did Also.... Krista’s going to fucking make billy think frank is coming after her even though he isn’t... this is going to be messy as hell Nevermind... he went to the trailer. SHIT SHIT SHIT POOR CURTIS Well Curtis only has one kneecap? Soooooooo Oh look it’s Amy ruining every fucking thing again I GASPED OUT LOUD DURING THIS CURTIS FIGHT poor dude BITCH BILLY LIED TO YOU HES NOT GOING TO GET THE PAPERWORK dammit nevermind he did. Shit. Are you really planning on running off with this bitch, Billy Russo ?! The fuck?! Well Curtis is still alive Oh and frank kidnapped someone, ok cool Billy can’t just fucking let frank go, right? Like............. Back to the Russians again. It’s his dad, Frank. Let me save you some trouble. I believe him. I think he really didn’t know that anything was being done. An honest senator?!? I thought that buckshot was pomegranate seeds for a minute Are you actually going to shoot him, Amy? Madani is at Krista’s door - calling it BINGO Is Krista going to fucking hit madani with this teapot? Billy is buying her flowers?! Madani playing Krista... this I like. I hope billy walks in this goddamn door SHE FOUND THE JOURNAL. She KNOWS HOLY SHIT SHE STABBED HER WITH SCISSORS Battle of Billy’s Bitches OH MY GOD HOLY FUCK MADANI PUSHED HER OUT A FUCKING WINDOW Billy had something taken away from him yet again. This is.... not going to end well. He’s gonna think it was frank. FUCK. WOW HOLY FUCK.

13: The Whirlwind Billy, as assumed is not happy. “You had to make it about her” uh, yeah.... it’s always been about that fucking psychopath therapist That’s not the end of Billy Russo.  it cant be. FaceTime With Frank™️ Bitch that is CLEARLY a threat Amy’s room service? Except she’s hiding around the corner This kid’s name is LEMMUEL?!!? “He came after me” BITCH YOU THREW HIS GIRLFRIEND OUT A WINDOW OF COURSE HE CAME FOR YOU holy crap, madani’s done?!? WRONG ROOM FRANK Putting lots of holes in the wall and OH HELLO FRANK IS GOING RIGHT THROUGH IT Shit look at Amy again screwing everything up Frank has bad luck with elevators in hotels He fights best when he is cornered Omg billy getting operated on by a drunk... Jesus. .... If he dies on this operating table .... NO ANESTHESIA JESUS CHRIST BILLY so much goddamn pain .... GET THE FUCKING BULLETS OUT DOCTOR DRUNKARD. COME THE FUCK ON. HES NOT DEAD They sure did, David. Oh my god. This doctor threw him in a fucking dumpster Fuck fuck fuck fuck Amy trying to talk sense into John.... ok, sure Jan. PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE Who are you meeting Brett? Oh. Curtis and David. Doing the right thing could have fucked over Frank, Curtis. THINK ABOUT THAT. He played the family card. Fuck off John Pilgrim. If i had a dollar for every time frank told someone to point a weapon at him.... OUCH, Frank’s face. Aaaand there it goes through some glass and chains.... Jesus These two men can barely stand WHERE THE FUCK IS BILLY frank’s got a giant pipe . Didn’t Daredevil wrap chains around his arm too? THIS IS EMBARRASSING FRANK GET IT TOGETHER there you go, with the oxygen tank Asking for leniency for his kids with his last breath... damn “You’re the whirlwind” FUCKING CURTIS IS BILLY IN YOUR ROOM AGAIN no. Fucking Billy. Oh lord. GO BE WITH HIM CURTIS JESUS PLEASE “I don’t want to die alone” Dinah and Krista again.... FML You don’t love him, girl, i promise And he’s not coming from you FRANK . . . . . Fucking hell. Jesus. No redemption. He died alone and scared and sad and in pain. Fucking hell. .... keep the lies going Curtis and Madani. End of story. Bye Eliza. BYEEEEEE. WAIT WHAT HE LET PILGRIM LIVE?!? Well, i guess it’s nice that Frank has something to care about. Too bad I feel nothing for Amy. Still. What the fuck do you want Madani? She’s with the CIA now?!!? LAST FUCKING SCENE. Daaaaaaamn.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e42

I just came in with Taliesin saying “Candyland for Goth kids” what are we talking about

“Everyone’s fuckin’ Avantica!”

Liam calling out Laura for shaming him xD

A: “People have learned not to tangle with me.”

F: *awkwardly coughing* “Yeah, oh, yeah, uh, who would want to fall in with that.”

I swear this tavern music makes me think of Skyrim every time. Is that what it’s from?

lol the gnome’s voice is amazing

Cad: “I could fill a book with what I don’t know” mood

“Bar fights are fun! It’s part of the reason we live here!” xD

Oh lord Jester

Gonna bar fight this gnome oh lord

CAN WE GO LIKE TEN MINUTES WITHOUT BAD DECISIONS

I love fun as much as the rest of you but come on guys

Jester’s gonna get her butt kicked by a gnome lol

J: “I’m gonna pat his head and cast ‘cure wounds’”

Everyone: “Awww!”

Caleb honey it’s a pirate cove do you really think there’s a bookstore??

Cad: “Somebody worth their salt, since worth your salt is a really nice phrase, I like that. Worth your salt.”

Guyssss I love Caduceus

He’s very caught up in how much salt is worth now it’s amazing I love him

“If things go correctly, I don’t think there will be any worry of drowning” why does everything she says sound sinister now. Everyone seems spooked every time she says something.

OOOO SOMEONE WITH BAD BLOOD WITH AVANTICA

The Diver’s Grave

I don’t like that

“Turtle Boy”?! Bitch you leave Orli alone

Oh lovely a haunted ocean graveyard

Yoooo sea shanty

Gaaaasp Matt is actually singing it

Uhm guys I need to hear him sing NOT in a funny accent??

I missed the whole song i was distracted by Matt’s singing

Okay I’ll listen this time

“Her hungry eye” DONT LIKE

“With the Missus”?

I bet Avantica dumped Allison for Ukutoa :P

Avantica at some point, probably: “Relationship with Allison: ended. We stan Ukutoa now"

A: “Wouldn’t want to cause a ruckus the same day you arrive, no? Who would do that?”

The M9: “pssshh what, a ruckus? What? Nahhh.”

Cad’s high passive perception is so nice

lol Beau fail

Sam and Marsha are CHILDREN pass it on

J: “I think we’re all kind of murderers sometimes.”

Caleb, internally panicking: “I don’t think aLL of us are murderers.”

“What’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever done” Oh Jester don’t ask

Aww Jester :(

J: “What if we can never go home?!”

C: “We’ll… we’ll get you home…”

Poor Jester’s having a rough time

“You said her name, when we were dancing.”

Ouch Jester maybe now isn’t the time…

“She was handsome” I’m having feelings

Hnnn Fjord you’re acting a bit shifty again just tell your friends honestly what’s going on without acting so strange with them

Cad: “What part of the body are amigos?”

Listen, I’m gonna always miss Molly, but Caduceus is the best thing that could have happened to this group.

Oh sure give these poor people the ship y’all STOLE brilliant idea :P

Oh boy they fucked up Vera heard

“Tiffany”

Guys don’t discuss it here right now even with code names it’s a bad idea

Tiffany and the Apricot Tree

Mmm I’m not sure that this plan seems like a good idea

“We’re calling him ‘Honda’” I snorted

“Bitch I work here”

“THE TWO CLERICS ARE NOT GOING ON THIS MISSION” finally an intelligent decision

“A peeping tom cat”

This is going to go wrong somehow. I’m not sure exactly how. There are too many possibilities. But it will go bad.

Oh lord.

If Fjord gonna accidentally interrupt Avantica and Allison?

lol wrong room

Damn I really hoped he’d accidentally walk in on something

Fuck is Fjord having to sleep with her again

Mmm a book. You should absolutely not take it.

Fuuuuuuuck

she’s gonna know

GET THE FUCK OUT

This is literally such a disaster they are making the WORST decisions

And now they’ve broken the rules of the cove too

JESTER YOU HAVE MENDING JUST FIX THINGS?

crawling under the bed

oh godddd

IM DYING

I swear Nott and Jester get so fucking lucky

Aaaaand now Nott’s gonna end up drunk

Oh lord and now she’s confused

SO

FUCKING

LUCKY

oh no

“He uh, he got stabbed…”

“I was so hoping you were gonna attack her” lol Matt

Oh sure just keep making holes until you end up under water

STOP WASTING THE PAINT

Can she not mend the hole??

Beau don’t accuse Caleb of trying to rob you honey that’s terrible

Beau honey

don’t

Cad: “Waldoc got stabbed? But Waldoc’s so nice! Who would stab Waldoc?”

Caduceus is a good boy

“I’m gonna be Keg”

“I’m gonna be Molly” JesTER NO

omg

they

caused a dude to jump off the crows nest

This is just… a disaster

Beau gives so much sass

“There’s been no word but I assume there’s just pandemonium all over” Caduceus knows

OH NOW SHE REMEMBERS MENDING

N: “Are you saying to me that WE made a MISTAKE?”

And Taliesin loses it

Cad’s right, they should go to “check” on things.

Caduceus with all the killer perception rolls helllll yeah

Caduceus just healing everyone like the sweet boy he is

“I love this character so much” SAME

like y’all as much as I loved and will always love Molly… Caduceus means so much to me

F: “We should frame Vera. She hates me, she wants my job.”

N: “Well didn’t you steal her job…?

Oh shiiiiiiiiiit it’s her dream journal

Do you think Mandarin somehow marked Fjord without Fjord knowing?? Was he prepping Fjord?

Ohhh or maybe not, since apparently he had a change of heart

WOAH BITCH SHE WHAT

AVANTICA IS TOTALLY GONNA TRY TO SACRIFICE FJORD TO UKATOA

“perhaps this one will be more useful than Vandrin” fuuuuuuuuuuck dont like dont like

WHAT OMG THAT NAT20

CALEB YEAAAAHHHHHHH

he got the exact DC

amazing

“you motherfucker” I love how they keep just obliterating Matt’s stuff and he’s just so done

Oooo a no poison necklace

They should really think about this over a nice long two break

I feel like this plan is not great…

But I feel like that about most of their plans

ohhh no

Taliesin is like “we had a plan but sure go ahead and change things it’s fine”

Oh please make that check

please

oh no

15

that can’t be good enough

they’re dead

they’re dead she knows they’re dead she know they’re dead she knows

THEY CANT LIE TO HER HER PERCEPTION IS TOO HIGH

“Whoever did this doesn’t understand the rules of the city very well”

SHE

KNOWS

oh god

oh god Vera can track

CALEB WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WE HAVE TO WAIT TWO WEEKS

IM

GONNA

DIE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

im literally silently screaming in my house at 1am

akljBJLDHSGSJFHGADalkhg

[lovelesstrainer]

All them. Enjoy.

Love ya too, asshat 

1. Have you met your soul mate? Maybe? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now? Purple, purple/black

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color? Not usually, but if it’s like something where I need to not look like a trashbag, usually a combination of Verve, YDK, Busted and Pistol from the Naked 2 palette by Urban Decay 

4. Are you in love right now? I think? 

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real? Nah 

6. Are you an optimist, realist, opportunist, or pessimist? “For a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic.” 

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.) Meh nothing special. Just a girl in like 7th grade

8. Do you own stickers, an stationary? Nah 

9. What’s your aesthetic? @the--defiant 

10. Do you wear dresses, and skirts? Fuuuuuuuck no 

11. What is your hair like? Black, boob length, need a haircut stat 

12. Does time go by fast or slow to you? Depends what I’m doing 

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up? HA. No schedule. Went to bed at 11am this morning and woke up at 1pm. (am dying pls send help i regret) 

14. Favorite sweet food? Brownies or cookies ig 

15. Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa? Tea usually 

16. Space, Ocean, City, or Forest? OceanOceanOceanOceanOcean

17. Favorite game as a child? Uhhhhh  

18. Comfort book? Dracula. 

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn? Mermaid 

20. Do you fall in love easily? Yeah ;;

21. Favorite word? Dunno, but my most used word is probably “fuck” or a rendition of it 

22. Describe your life in 3 words. Help. Me. Please. 

23. Do you dance? Slow dance? I dance like a white dad at a BBQ tbh 

24. Do you wear fake nails, or paint your nails? I had fake nails last year, blue and sparkly, then red with silver tips. (Actually helped me stop biting my nails), but after my nail like split in half, I swore them off. But I do paint my nails, usually black 

25. Has anyone ever confessed to you? Yeah 

26. Do you lie? Eh not usually 

27. What makes you smile? The little things 

28. Have you ever cried in a book or movie? All the time 

29. When and who was your first crush? UHHH 

30. Marriage or kids? No and no 

31. Are you superstitious? Meh not very 

32. Who’s your 3 am thought? Depends, really. Sometimes I worry about people from what happened the day before, or people just pass my mind. 

33. Do you like candy? What’s your favorite candy? Ehhhh kinda? Not sure. 

34. Favorite holiday? Halloweenie. 

35. Favorite season? Fall/Winter when all the bugs are back in hell where they belong 

36. Cat or dog person? Cat 

37. Are you quiet or loud? Quiet 

38. Favorite time period? (80′s, 60′s, etc.) 80′s 

39. Favorite fashion fad that went away? Victorian dresses 

40. The best dream/ worst nightmare you’ve ever had? Fuck dude, I don’t know. Last one I remember included a fish/reese’s peanut butter cup thing 

41. Worst fear as a kid? Heights, falling 

44. Do you flirt? I try to 

45. What’s your style? If it isn’t black, put it back 

46. Do you blush? EASILY 

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel? Depends on  the situation, really 

48. Are you a crier? Do you smile? Yes, and depends. If someone is making me smile for a photo, it’s the most awkward, forced, half ass thing 

49. First love? @waywardforest 

50. Last love? Do you mean most recent or final? 

[colbybrocksmolder]

Nightmares - Colby Brock x Reader

Sometimes being an adult was the shit. You grabbed your phone and opened twitter, starting a new tweet. “It’s 2am, I’m sitting on my beanbag chair, in my undies and a t-shirt, bunny slippers on my feet, a bowl of Doritos in hand, watching Harry Potter. AND I finished editing my video. It’s been a good day.” You re-read it for spelling errors and hit send.

You had abandoned your boring life back in Kansas and followed in the footsteps of some of your best friends. Making tutorial videos and vlogs had finally afforded you the ability to have your own apartment and you were enjoying it to its fullest extent.

Incoming call - *Colby Jack*

Y/n – “Hey baby Brock.”

Colby – “I can’t believe you still call me that”, he said, laughing.

Y/n – “I was your brother’s friend before I was your friend”, you chuckled. “He’s Brock and you’re baby Brock.”

Colby – “Y/n, you’re barely 2 years older than me!” he argued.

Y/n – “I mean, for someone that doesn’t want to be called baby, you’re kind of acting like one.”

Colby – “You can call me baby all you want, just don’t call me A baby.”

Y/n – “Oh Jesus, Colby”, you laughed.

Colby – “That was smooth, you have to admit.”

Y/n – “I’m going to assume you didn’t call me to discuss lifelong nicknames?”

Colby – He laughed before sighing into the phone. “Dude, the AC in my apartment is broken and I’m fucking miserable. Mind if I come crash at your place?”

Y/n – “You’re always welcome over here, dude. You have a key for a reason.”

Colby – “Thaaaaaaank youuuuu”, he dramatically called out. He hopped out of bed, looking for his shoes.

Y/n – “Why did you wait until 2am to call?”

Colby – “I didn’t want to bother you. I just saw your tweet and knew you were up and awake”, he explained. You could hear his keys and the creak of his front door.

Y/n – “Just let yourself in when you get here” You said, hand on the remote ready to start the next Harry Potter movie. “Oh, and Colby?”

Colby – “Yeah?”

Y/n – “Bother me next time. Anytime.”

Colby – “I’ll see you soon” he said after a pause, hanging up.

Walking into your apartment, Colby laughed seeing that you had accurately described your night in your tweet. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of you. Messy bun, Nirvana t-shirt, bunny slippers…You were leaning forward, completely focused on the tv. He posted the picture to twitter with the caption “So @y/n wasn’t lying. She’s really out here watching Harry Potter with no pants on. Also, how mean of her not to leave some Doritos for me!”

“Have you gotten your Hogwarts letter yet?” Colby laughed, joining you in your living room.

“I have faith it’ll show up soon”, you replied. Pausing the movie, you looked over at Colby and noticed he had bags under his eyes. His hair was messy, and he looked exhausted. “You okay?”

“Better now” he replied, diving to lay on one of your couches.

“Don’t wait so long next time, dork. Just come over” you said, turning back to the tv and resuming your movie. It wasn’t 15 minutes before you started to hear quiet snores behind you. It was almost 3am so you decided to just go to bed. You slipped his shoes off for him, covered him in a blanket, and lifted his head to slide a pillow underneath it. “Sleep tight, baby Brock” you whispered, leaning down to kiss his temple.

When you woke up the next morning, Colby had already left. Granted, it was almost noon. You didn’t hear from him until 2 days later when you replied to one of his tweets.

Colby had tweeted, “Trying to fill my mind with good things, but the bad things won’t let me sleep.” It was again, like 2 in the morning. You replied, “With poetry like that we could start an emo band. I play a mean tambourine.”

Incoming call - *Colby Jack*

Y/n – You had started to say, “What’s up baby Brock?” but you barely made it to “What’s up bab…” when he interrupted you.

Colby – “Nope. Don’t say it.” You could hear him laughing.

Y/n – “I’m sure I could come up with more annoying nicknames if you reeeeeeeally wanted me to”, you teased.

Colby – “I have no doubt that that’s a fact, y/n.”

Y/n – “Well what’s up?” you asked.

Colby – “Is that invitation to crash at your place still on the table?” Colby asked. He sounded a little hesitant.

Y/n – “I told you, you don’t need to ask.”

Colby – “I don’t want to be that annoying friend you don’t want around” he replied, slipping his shoes on and heading to your place. “I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

Y/n – “You could come over every night, dude” you reassured him. “You may want to send a courtesy text to let me know you’re coming. You know, so you aren’t scarred for life seeing me wander around my apartment naked or something” you laughed.

Colby – “Oh, what a scary thought.”

Y/n – “Hey!”

Colby – “Whatever would I do seeing a beautiful naked woman with my own eyes. My innocence!” He said in a dramatic voice.

Y/n – “Innocence my ass.” You snorted. “Just let yourself in when you get here.”

You were actually enjoying Colby coming around more often. You got along really well. You two had always flirted, but nothing ever went anywhere. That didn’t mean your little crush went away. You never really pursued it thinking that he just saw you as like an older sister. I mean, if he had ever actually thought about you as more than that he would have said so, right?

Colby walked into your apartment and called out for you when he didn’t immediately see you. “Y/n!”

“In the kitchen” you replied, searching your pantry for a bag of popcorn.

Colby found you and pulled you into a hug. “What’s got you up so late?” he asked.

“Working on another video.” You sleepily answered, leaning on Colby. “I’ve had to refilm this part of the tutorial 4 fucking times. I can’t seem to demonstrate WHAT I’m actually doing to get my results. The whole point of a tutorial is so someone can follow along.”

“Hey” Colby said, backing you out of the pantry, not letting go of you. “It’s too late and you’re too tired for that to go anywhere you’re going to be happy with. Just start over tomorrow.”

“Fuuuuuuuck. You’re probably right.” You said, pulling out of the hug and throwing the unpopped bag of popcorn on the counter. “Why are YOU up, oh mysterious late-night tweeter?” you asked him.

Colby shrugged, leaving the kitchen and going to the living room. “Was just up.”

“Oh, that’s believable” you sarcastically replied. “You sure you’re okay, kid?” you plopped down on the couch next to him.

“I’ll be fine when you stop treating me like I’m 5” Colby replied a little harshly. He looked over at you and saw the concern on your face. “I’m sorry” he said, pulling you into a hug.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” you said, starting to worry a little bit.

“I really am fine, y/n. I promise.” He tried reassuring you. “Watch a movie with me?”

“Scott Pilgrim?” you asked, reaching for the remote.

“Is that even a question?” Colby smiled over at you, pulling you back to snuggle into his side after you grabbed the remote.

When you woke up, it was to Colby laying on top of you. His arms were wrapped around you and his face was snuggled into your chest. You laid there, letting him sleep. Your fingers gently brushing his hair out of his face. It felt like ages since you had seen him look so stress free.

After a bit you heard him start to mumble in his sleep. His eyes were squeezed shut and his eyebrows were tensed together. You could hear his breathing pick up a little bit. “Oh shit” you whispered, realizing he was having a bad dream. You rubbed one of your hands up and down his back while the other gently worked your fingers through his hair. “Ssshhhhh” you tried to calm him down. “Colby, you’re okay.” Slowly he quieted. His face relaxed and his breathing slowed back down. Eventually you fell back asleep. When you woke up, Colby had already left your apartment.

Over the next week, Colby had found excuses to crash at your place 3 more times. He looked just as exhausted every time he showed up at your door. You never asked him about the bad dream he had. You’d stopped asking him if he was okay, too. Every time you’d try to bring it up, he’d find a way to shut it down.

“I’m starting to think you hate your apartment” you teased, grabbing a bag of chips and joining Colby on your couch. This was yet another failed attempt at finding out why Colby had started to come around so often.

“I told you. They’re doing construction at 6 am tomorrow morning. There’s no way I’d be able to sleep through that.” Colby replied, sounding completely full of shit and looking utterly exhausted. He grabbed the remote and scrolled through your Amazon library.

“If you say so” you teased. “I’m just surprised a 22 year old kid would rather hang out here every other night than go party and…”

“I really am always just going to be a kid to you, huh?” Colby interrupted you, a sad but frustrated look on his face.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Nothing. You know what, there WAS a party tonight. I bet all the boys are still over at Brennen’s. I’ll see you later.” Colby stood up, slamming your door before you could even think of something to say.

You sat silently in your living room for the next hour trying to figure out what to do. Grabbing your phone, you text Brennen.

Y/n – “Hey, Bren. Did Colby make it to your place safe?”

Brennen – “I’m not even in the country, sister. Why is Colby going to my place? Everything okay?”

You thought about it for a second. “I bet he just went home” you said to yourself.

Y/n – You know what, I think I misheard him. I’ll just call him. Enjoy the rest of your trip!

Brennen – Thx, girl.

Sliding on your bunny slippers, you grabbed your bag and keys and headed down to your car. Using the key he gave you months ago, you opened Colby’s door as quietly as you could. You dropped your stuff on his couch and looked for him. You knew he was home because his keys were on his counter and his shoes were by the door. He wasn’t in his room, up in his loft, or in his bathroom. “What the fuck?” you said, leaning on his counter. That’s when you remembered he had a balcony. You walked to the sliding glass door and peeked outside.

“Some party you’ve got going on out here.” You snarked, scaring the shit out of Colby.

“Jesus fuck, Y/n” Colby jumped almost tumbling out of his basket chair.

“You ready to tell me what the hell is going on?” you asked, closing the door and pulling your long sleeves down over your hands. It was breezy being up so high on the balcony. Especially in the middle of the night.

“Not really” Colby said, seeing you shiver. “Come here.” Colby opened his arms, pulling his blanket back and making grabby hands towards you.

You crawled in his lap, sitting sideways, and he covered you both with the blanket. You laid your head against his chest, feeling his arms surround you. “What’s going on, Cole?”

“What, no kid? No baby Brock?” Colby said sarcastically.

“If it bothered you that much why have you never said anything about it?” you asked, sad that you had unknowingly been hurting someone you loved.  

“It never really got to me until recently.” He answered.

“Why? What changed?” you asked.

“Y/n, I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m a grown ass man. I should be able to handle it on my own.” Colby said, laying his head against the top of yours.

“You know, being a ‘grown ass man’ doesn’t mean you have to fight all your own battles. Just let me help you.” You said, searching for one of his hands to hold.

“And now I feel like a child again, needing someone to hold his hand.” Colby said, but didn’t pull his hand away.

“Who told you you needed to grow up so fucking fast?” You asked.

“It’s not that.” Colby sighed, laying his head back against the back of the chair. “I just…I really fucking hate this.”

You sat in his lap quietly, playing with the rings that never left his fingers. “What was your nightmare about?” you asked, just needing him to keep talking.

You could feel Colby’s body tense. “What?” he quietly asked.

“The other day” you explained. “I woke up and we were cuddling on the couch. I promise I wasn’t being creepy, but I was just laying there watching you sleep. You finally looked like you weren’t stressed out, but then you started having a nightmare.”

“I didn’t know I had one at your place. It never woke me up.” Colby answered.

“I tried to make it stop” you said. “Wait, you said you didn’t know you had one at my place? Is that why you’ve been coming over? You’ve been having nightmares?”

“Kind of” Colby said.

“Colby.” You lifted your head to look at him.

“I have always slept better when I’m around you.” He continued, refusing to look at you. “Ever since I was a kid, actually. Remember when everyone would fall asleep in my parent’s living room after being out all night doing dumb shit?” Colby smiled, “That’s when I figured it out. Gage used to tease me about it, but anytime I’m anxious or stressed out or can’t sleep…I just feel better when you’re there.”

“I didn’t know that.” You said, letting go of his hand to reach up and force him to look at you. “Why didn’t you just say something? You could have stayed over every night. You didn’t need to sit here alone.”

“I should be able to sleep by myself, y/n” He answered, sighing. “It’s not exactly a confidence booster for a dude to tell a beautiful girl he’s afraid to go to sleep alone.”

“I’m not A girl, though. I’m me.” You said, your hand still laying against the side of Colby’s face.

“Exactly.” He stared down at you with an unreadable expression.

“Wait.” You said, processing what he just said.

He continued talking before you could really respond. “I keep having this dream. It’s so fucking stupid, but it gets under my skin so bad. In my dream everywhere I go, everyone just laughs at me. Mocks me. It doesn’t matter if I’m paying for a meal or holding the door for someone. And it’s people I know. My family, my friends, other youtubers…And if I wake up and go back to sleep, I fall right back into the fucking dream.”

“Am I in them?” you ask, your other hand sliding up to rest on the other side of Colby’s face.

“Never.” Colby answered, staring back at you.

You adjusted your legs to straddle Colby’s lap. “What did you mean earlier? When you said ‘exactly’?”

“Don’t make me say it, y/n.” Colby said, leaning his forehead against yours and closing his eyes.

“Please?” you asked before feeling Colby shake his head no. “Is it why you hate when I call you kid? Or call you baby Brock?”

You heard Colby sigh before answering “yes.”

“Sometimes boys can be so stupid.” You said, pulling back to look at him.

“What?” Colby asked, opening his eyes.

You interrupted him, leaning in to capture his lips in a kiss. You felt his hands find their way to your waist and his tongue slide along your bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. After a minute, you broke apart and pulled away, breathless.

“Why didn’t you ever say something?” you asked, leaning in to tease the sensitive skin of his neck with your lips.

“Honestly?” Colby asked, tilting his head to give your better access.

“Of course.” You answered.

“When you rejected Gage, I thought there was no way I had a chance.” He answered, gasping when you found a particularly sensitive spot. “It didn’t help that I assumed you always thought of me as his annoying younger brother.”

You sucked a blossoming mark into Colby’s skin, his hands gripping your waist firmly. You heard him quietly moan your name. “Colby, I said no to Gage because I liked you.”

“Well now you tell me.” He laughed, pulling you into another kiss.

“As much as I’d love to live out this romantic moment where we make love on your balcony as the sun comes up…can we please just go to bed?” You asked, laughing and laying against Colby’s chest.

“Oh, my God. Sweeter words have never been spoken to me in my entire life.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “Let’s go to bed. I haven’t slept since I crashed at your place 2 nights ago.”

Crawling off of his lap, you pulled him out of the basket chair and into the apartment. “Yeah, I’m still a little mad you didn’t tell me you couldn’t sleep.”

“Don’t worry about it. You aren’t going to be able to get rid of me now.” Colby followed you into his bedroom. Stripping down to his boxers, he crawled into bed first. “Come here, baby girl.”

“Oh, now I’m the baby?” you sleepily laughed, ditching your slippers and your bra. You crawled under the covers, sliding your body against Colby’s.

“Hey, don’t take this from me. I’ve been waiting a long time to call you baby.” He wrapped his arms around you, the two of you falling asleep a few minutes later.