#THEY GET ME CRYING AND GIDDY EVERY DANG TIME

[acourtofquestions]

I need to make more Tower of Dawn posts because this book is better than I thought (and I went in with decent expectations)

but for right now I just need to cry scream for a second because THE CHARACTER ARCS AND DEVELOPMENT just perfection utterly beautiful and I love every single one so much I get all teared up every dang time

especially right now what’s getting me; which is Chaol finally understanding Aelin, and talking about her, and Rowan. And THEN with Yrene. AND THEN then their ship speech! AND AND AND THEN her talking about Aelin and not even knowing it & them both thanking her (they gonna help get our girl home I just know it and that reunion realization is gonna be so worth it) !

my wyrd how is ALL of this so beautifully written??

[crying-fantasies]

Walk with me: Flowers and fire

Masterlist

Prev/Next

You know that kind of feeling?

That one, the one that is so intense, that makes you almost cry, almost puke.

The one that makes you punch the person in front of you in the face, not once, but multiple times, just to show your anger, your disgust to their mere existence.

"I'm telling you, right here, right now, if you go there, I'm cutting ties with you forever"

Did you really share an ounce of blood with this person? Really? It made you feel ashamed even when you weren't responsible for their stupid words.

You were about to pop a vein every minute now, where was your father? He was supposed to be here and take you next to your husband-

No, nop, you really had problems at the moment of thinking about Dio with that new title, it was so new.

So strange.

Just as expected, your blood relative, that was her name now, almost ran away when your father arrived, giving you a hand to take before even facing what was ahead of you.

Being honest, how do you feel when you are about to get married? Many can say or express their happiness, maybe giddiness, nerves creeping their way to all your body and make you ask yourself: are you making the right choice?

Well, for that you needed to have a word in all of this, and you just now realized that, no, you never had a say at all, but how could you change that when everything was there for you, waiting, expecting for you to take that path, one that someone else already choose for you.

How can you think about that now? How can you think about it when you are only a step away from the place that is going to knock you to the same that is now holding your hand.

Wait a second, he is indeed holding your hand, giving a little squeeze to it, and if you didn't know him any better, you would say that he is even trying to comfort you, but he was able of doing that? He? Dio? The very same guy that was a direct idiot when it concerned any other human being that wasn't him or his goals in general?

The very same man that you were getting married in that very same moment?

"Yes" oh well, nevermind, you already said the words when you were asked for, not even thinking about it too much, wasn't there supposed to be a dramatic pause from your part? Well, you just forgot about it, now hearing the people that was here, guests to your wedding, your friends bawling their eyes out, the hateful glances from the people with your same blood and the good natured father that was just smiling to the new couple that he had created.

Such an interesting thing, to be really married, to have a ring in your hand, to have to throw the bouquet, to try and do this like it's supposed to do, give them fun in the reception like it's supposed to be, just like that, following what others told you, just like always, even when you denied it in the past saying that you didn't want to follow the rules of others.

But, at the end, you hear and follow what others tell you to do.

Is this how your life is going to be from now on?

Apparently it is really how is going to be, you realize so when you are finally left in the bedchamber, this isn't the Joestar manor, this is a separate home, just like how Dio said, just like it was expected.

"You look dead inside" oh, talking about Dio, he is above you, quite literally, you don't remember the moment when you just collapsed on the bed, maybe it was at the moment you put your eyes on it, so exhausted, your body had enough of this bull shit, he still has his attire but his hair was more messier, maybe the moment that the doors closed his hand was already on his hair, like he sometimes do when he is stressed.

...

Dang it, since when have you been so detailed about him?

Wait, now that you think about it, maybe you did indeed look at Dio more often than not, especially since the whole fiasco started, searching for information in your memory of you two together, not exactly being friends but trying to appear civil in front of the adults.

Maybe you two did indeed know about one another, you figured that out the moments in which he heard all your opinions on how the people looked and handled you, when he tried to soothe you, when he learned new things to understand you, or like right now when he lets your hair free out of all the ornaments on it, his hand splaying it in the bed's surface, lifting a weight that you didn't even notice after all the problems.

Maybe, you were irritated when the idea settled, everything was being reduced to a "maybe", the very same one that you just said to answer his opinion of you looking dead, like you almost had nothing to give.

Oh, maybe you still had something to give, or to earn, that's what you think when he finally approaches, because there is a final thing to finally end this exhausting day, and you welcome him with open arms, so exhausted.

Just for one day, saying that inside, trying to believe it, letting your prejudiced mind rest for a moment, it can't be this bad, you could make it right, you can.

Just for once, you will put aside every problem or discrepancies that you and Dio had.

[jimilter]

asheo, there's so much talent in you and your fics, and if i had the dang focus, i'd binge your masterlist so damn fast, please. but i must mention two fics that i still absolutely love and adore and cannot forget <3

– reflections. dude. like. i know you always said you got inspo for the angst hhh 🙄 but tbh, this had your obvious dreamy touch to it, and it was just so jimilter... no one could've written it like you. so damn beautiful... talk about doyle !!!

– not only saying that bc it was a birthday gift, but i love love love holding you like this. it's so fkn well written, and that couple is goals despite their flaws (every relationship has those, right?). still so happy they could solve their issues like jkgshkgds truly i love that fic, and it's time to reread it sometime 🥺

ily thank you for sharing your talent babe <3333

ridziette, you are making me tear up with that opening :( i love you so much :(

getting to write reflection (courtesy of a soybean we all adore) was a pleasure in itself, yk? like, that whole collab has been something i was really excited to witness and then i got to be a part of it? i wanted to make siya proud :( and omg, do you remember how much i bothered you while writing? 😭 you literally helped me create it in so many ways! so thank you, it makes me giddy that this is one of your top picks 🥺

hylt changed so many forms like a damn mutating monster before it could be formed into something you would like! i was sO worried abt it, bec i didn't want to give anything less than my best for a gift of love for you :( i am so happy you liked it babe! and i think it's time to finally mention her bec @missgeniality has a massive fkn role in calming me down all the way through. there was a point when i almost dropped the idea after screaming in her dms at like 3 am - we will tell u abt it someday. :]

ily moRE, thank you for making me cry happy tears 🥺❤

tell me abt your fav fic of mine?

[enjeolmii]

talkies by the night - n.nk

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

warnings: cursing but only once, whiny niki, more fluff, also more fluff, that’s about it

a/n: this one’s another repost from my old acc ;)

you (10:51pm) hey bb :)

you (10:51pm) u busy?

❣︎niki❣︎ (10:51pm) hey sunshine

❣︎niki❣︎ (10:51pm) what’s up?

dialling ❣︎niki❣︎…

0:00

0:01

0:02

❣︎niki❣︎ “what’s my sunshine up to at this time of the night?”

you “i was trying to finish all of my homework at once so that i’d have nothing more to worry about”

❣︎niki❣︎ “hm”

you “and now im bored” (your lips form a pout, though you knew he wouldn’t be able to see it - you hear him heave a yawn)

you “how about you? you sound tired. is you alright? is you good? let me know”

❣︎niki❣︎ “yeah, i’m fine. it was just a little busier at the dance studio today" (he giggled)

you “yeah?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “mhm”

❣︎niki❣︎ “dang, those kids really got me beat. this one kid kept asking me to watch him do the dab and even tried to teach me the ‘proper way’ of doing it… for, like, my entire break”

you “oh, lord, i hate kids like that”

❣︎niki❣︎ “tell me about it”

you (a laugh escapes through your nose)  “well, i was going to ask you if you wanted to come over and hang out tonight, but i think you should take a good rest for now”

❣︎niki❣︎ “what?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “no, no. i could come over right now if you want. i’m not really that tired, y'know"

you “no, bb. you just said so yourself that you’re tired. you should take a rest. i’ll be fine, hm?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “but i really want to see you" (he brings his lower lip out)

you “we could just open video call if you really want to. you should at least be at bed early tonight”

❣︎niki❣︎ “please, please, please, …” (he whined continuously)

you (a short silence comes as you contemplate slightly) “ugh, fine. but you aren't staying past twelve, alright”

❣︎niki❣︎ “yes!”

❣︎niki❣︎ “i’ll be over in 15. wait for me, sunshine!”

2:48

2:49

the call has ended

Minutes pass by, and the sound of the doorbell stops you from surfing through movies on Netflix. Rising to your feet, you throw the remote control behind you on the couch and head for the door. You grab the knob and pushed it down to pull the door open. Then, a smile replaces your excited expression, revealing your boyfriend standing with crescent eyes.

"Hi," Niki's smile widens at the sight of you, and you open your arms immediately to engulf him in a warm hug.

"Hey," Taking in the scent of his mild cologne, you smile onto his shoulder.

He then pulls his head away from yours to cup it in his palms within the proximity you had, your arms still wrapped around his cozy body.

"I missed you." He said, squishing your cheeks.

"I missed you more. Come in." You pull away from him with a giddy laugh before dragging him into your house and onto the couch, closing the door behind you. But as you were about to take a seat next to him, you notice him clutching a black plastic bag in his hand. Your gaze diverts from the bag, then to him, and you arch an eyebrow in question.

"I got us a lot of snacks," He raised it to pile out every single one of the various go-to snacks you get from the convenience store whenever you went for a visit. "They're your favorites."

Not one second passed by, and you feel your lips come trembling in the effort to hold back the tears in your eyes, remembering how you told him that you're in dire need of a convenience store trip since your siblings snatched all of yours last week.

"You didn't have to." Your eyes start filling up by the brim, reaching the back of your index to wipe the tears off of your now wet cheeks.

The male slumps further into the sofa, amused at how shallow your standards are for crying. "C'mere,"

He momentarily stands up to grab the blanket that you burrito-ed yourself in earlier before he came, and he opens his arms comfortably for you to cuddle under the blanket.

"Why are crying, hm? It's nothing to cry about, crybaby." Niki whispers into your hair once you've climbed up the sofa to snuggle beside him. He wraps the two of you with the blanket, lightly tapping his hand onto your tear-stained cheeks as your head sinks deeper into the crook of his neck.

"I don't know either." You both snicker.

With the remote control stuck in the boy's grip, you unsuccessfully attempt to get your hands on the black gear when he abruptly presses through the several rows of horror movies. Niki knows very well how much you despise this kind of stuff, especially at night. You always argued with him that even though he was there to stay with you throughout the movie, it wasn't like he would be there for you the rest of the night.

He hoists the remote control higher in the air as he stands up, his other arm stretching to block you from reaching it. A grunt leaves your lips when you try to jump up from the sofa towards his hand, flying across the air to tackle him down onto the floor.

With a smirk on your face, your hands immediately lunge for the sides of his torso and the base of his neck, playfully brushing your fingers against his skin to tickle him amidst all his giggly squirms.

"Give- me- the remote-" You tickle him mercilessly, and he tries to turn you around to compete you to the floor.

"Nope." One push was all it took to have your back against the ground and your boyfriend kneeling beside your body. It's become your turn to get tickled, and you weren't prepared for it.

In between jagged giggles and desperate attempts to break free from the beast, you fail miserably to shut off his strategies. Your tensed-up muscles start to feel exhausted and it didn't take you long enough to give in to his disposition.

"Okay, okay. Stop," You breathlessly plead, and he detaches his hands from you, alleviated, getting back on his feet before reaching a hand out to help you get up. "You just never let me win these games, do you?" You sigh.

You take his hand and hurl yourself up with his help. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you walk back to the couch, dragging your shaky feet across the floor, only to collapse back into the cushions.

"It's okay. I'll let you win next time." He tugs you back into his arms under the blanket.

Through the decks of choices of horror movies you have searched through, you somehow convinced him to choose one that's a little more benign for the night. It didn't help him that seeing you, after such a long day at the dance studio, emphasized how beautiful and comforting you are to him. With that thought running perfectly in his mind, he gulps down and tears his stare away from you.

With his thumbs dancing across the right buttons of the gear, the pair of you finally find the one that you had set in stone, though you still had little doubts about your choices.

The movie began and it was already causing tiny bumps to appear on your arms. The main character was roaming alone in the dark of the corridors, finding a strange, eerie letter lying at the end of the hall.

The lights turned off everywhere in your house only added to the anxiety building up in your body, so you try scooting closer to Niki, which seemed to be impossible now that you see how you're already shouldering his chest.

Your actions caught the male in a string of silent laughter. You could tell he was trying to hide it from you, though, and you shoot daggers in his direction when you felt the vibrations on your shoulder.

Halfway into the movie, you got immersed in the thrill. Munching on the bag of your favorite snacks, it actually wasn't as scary as you had thought initially, the jump scares much milder than you had expected. Yet the unsettling feeling of never knowing what could happen still lingers in you, and quite oddly, the situation scares you more rather than the ghosts themselves. A little strange for someone as weak-hearted as you, but it seems to fit right perfectly to your tast-

You were torn away from your train of thoughts by a heavy feeling on your shoulder. With a startled jolt, you see your boyfriend leaning on your shoulder with his eyes shut asleep. You bring your hand to your chest, relieved at the sight of him instead of the creepy monster from the movie out to get you.

His head lies against you, the proximity so close that you could count every strand of eyelashes that he had. You took the opportunity to stare deep into his elegance. He was almost like an angel offered to you shining from the heavens with those good looks, and you all but feel the butterflies erupt from your stomach - just like when he confessed to you at that practice room a year ago.

"If only you didn't look so gorgeous like that, I would have punched you in the face for passing out on me right now." You quietly mumbled at his resting state, a sigh leaving your lips as you go back to munching chips and watching the movie with a shaking head.

When you return into a trance of spewing curses, a light smile forms at the corner of his lips, feeling indebted for having a girlfriend as cool as you.

[sylvie-writes]

Are You Worthy?

Part 2 of Getting Ready

Disclaimer: Some of the events may be out of order or removed but it’s for the purpose of the story

Warnings: mentions of alcohol. any screw ups in spelling or grammar.  

I just found out that I screwed up the timeline... but this is fanfcition... so just please ignore that huge plot hole that i’ve just created. 

Loosely edited. I will fully check over it this week, my loves. 

Sorry about the end. It’s midnight and i’m too tired to write a whole ass scene. 

Enjoy!

The drive to the compound was a little over twenty minutes, the late night traffic of Brooklyn lightly flooding the roads. Sarah was in the back seat, strapped in her car seat joyously maundering about making new friends tonight. That child was a social butterfly, never really understanding the stranger-danger rule, one you and Steve often tried to implement into her impressionable mind. Steve looked into the rearview mirror, shooting the mini chatty cathy a large smile. 

Arriving at the event, ponds of cars littered the street, valet attendants frantically rushing around to the lineup of many pretentious cars. Once a valet had taken your car, Steve stepped out, first helping you from the passenger seat and then unbuckling Sarah. All three Rogers casually strolled into the multi-level tower, its height unfathomable. Heading to the back elevators, which weren’t crowded, for you all knew the compound layout better than most of the guests. Sarah’s hands held your’s and Steve’s as she was sandwiched between the two of you, yet happily swinging her parents’ hands with her own.

Sam immediately greeted you, Steve and Sarah, quickly inviting you all over for a friendly game of pool with some older gentlemen. Of course, since Sarah was only three, she couldn't play pool and instead joyously watched as the billiard balls fell into the pockets, only piquing her interest as she wondered where the pockets led to. You and Steve decided to share one cue stick, each shooting while the other held Sarah, who babbled to the parent holding her at that time. 

About halfway through the game, Steve had noticed you were shivering just a smidge. He swiftly laid the cue stick against the pool table as it wasn't his turn anyway. Taking off the leather jacket, Steve wrapped it around your shoulders, prompting you to turn your attention and body back towards the pool table and him.

“You scared me, Rogers.” You jocosely squinted at the man then handing Sarah over so you could properly wear the oversized leather jacket. The pleasant and familiar cologne wrapped around your body as if it were a warm and securing hug. By the time you had finished your mini conversation with Steve it was your turn to play pool, Sarah preciously becoming your cheerleader. 

Steve had ventured off with Sam while you and Sarah had ended up with Tony, Thor and Maria, painfully listening to Rhodey’s recollection of his time as the War Machine. 

“Well, you know the suit can take the weight. So I take the tank, fly it right up to the General’s Palace, drop it at his feet, and I’m like BOOM, you looking for this?” 

Tony and Thor just looked at Rhodey with an unamused look while Sarah giggled at the story, not really understanding but laughing at the funny voice he had used. Reiterating himself, Rhodey repeated the story in hopes of getting a better reaction from his crowd. 

“Boom. Are you looking- why do I even talk to you guys? Everywhere else that story kills.”

The disappointed man turns to face you, his hand up, expecting a high five. You just look at him before laughing and shaking your head, while Sarah glady gives Rhodey her hand in place of yours. 

“Well that's the whole story?”

Rhodey turned back to Thor with a mirthless expression.

“Yes, that’s the War Machine story.”

Thor turned to Tony, then back to Rhodey, laughing deeply and then responding with what you had assumed was sarcasm.

“Oh it’s very good then. It’s impressive!”

“Quality save.” 

Amused at Thor’s attempt, Rhodey then changed the subject, the conversation moving faster than Steve could run.

“Gentlemen, where are the ladies?” 

Maria’s simple question turned into a compliment battle between Tony and Thor. 

Sarah continued to giggle and out stretched her arms to the man beside you, a signal to hold her. Stopping your own laughter, you hand Sarah over to Rhodey who was just as giddy as the little girl in his arms.

“Go find your hubby!” Rhodey nudged you in the shoulder and you gave him and Sarah a quick hug before going your separate ways. You shot the two gloating men with a look of mock disappointment, bidding Maria a “good luck”, and then leaving at Rhodey’s wishes. 

“What happened to him?” You walked to stand beside Steve, watching as an older gentleman, drunkenly passed out, was being carried by two younger men. 

“This.” Steve brought the glass to your lips, a sour look tainting your face after just a small sip.

“My god, what is that?! It takes like fire!” A hearty chuckle left Steve as he pointed to Thor who was holding a small flask and doing shots with a group of men. 

Sarah was still with Tony, allowing you and Steve to go enjoy some time with each other. The two of you just stood on the balcony, your arms linked together as the stars brightly painted the sky. It had been a while since you and Steve had such a heartfelt conversation, both recalling old memories. Not only was the man linked beside you, your husband, but also your best friend. You and Steve have always shared everything with the other, whether it be tears or laughter. This man was literally the epitome of your everything. 

“Do you remember when you listened to a few of my vinyls for weeks just so you could learn the words?” 

Steve’s lips were on your head as he talked, leaving gentle kisses.

A chuckle left your mouth at the adorable yet embarrassing memory.

It was in the beginning of your relationship when you and Steve were just months into a relationship. Steve had always let you choose the music. He even learned how to use cd’s in a boombox, quite the change from vinyls and a record player. Well, one day, Steve had left for a mission, one you were not needed for. During the day that he was gone, you spent hours trying to figure out how to use his record player. When you finally did, that day all you listened to were the vinyls, engraving every word into your mind.  

“I couldn’t figure out how to play the vinyls.” A small pout wiggled onto your lips, one Steve kissed away then pulled from your face chuckling breathily. 

“Don’t laugh at your wife’s pain!”

“I’m not trying to! You are just so damn adorable. I see where Sarah gets it from.”

An hour later, you and Steve had parted ways and you were currently strolling over to the bar, a martini in mind, but when your daughter came bounding at you, hugging your leg, your plans for a drink changed.

“Hi, Mommy!” Unlatching the girl from your leg, you leaned down to pick her up, seeing Tony now staring at you with a look of relief. Sarah must’ve run from him at the sight of her mother. 

You waved Tony away, bidding him back to his conversation. 

“What are you doing, Mommy?” 

“I was just about to get a drink.” 

“Ohhh can I have one?”

After her request, you explained to her that some drinks were for adults. Martini long forgotten, you instead went to order a shirley temple to share with Sarah. At first she was confused since you had just explained that the drinks from the bar were for adults, but then you further told her some drinks were okay. Long story short, Sarah had just learned that she must ask you or Steve since you would both know what to order her.

Now done with the most confusing lesson you’ve ever taught Sarah, you continued your walk to the bar.

Natasha was behind the counter, currently pouring a drink for herself while she and Bruce returned some playful chatter. A few minutes passed and their conversation ended. Smirking, Nat left the flustered man with your husband, who had just shown up at the end of the counter for a beer himself.

“It’s nice.”

Bruce turned to look at Steve, genuinely confused, partly to Steve’s statement and then Natasha's flirting. 

“You and Romanoff.” 

Once all the pieces finally clicked in the clueless man’s head, he instantly denied the claims thrown his way. 

Deciding to finally join the conversation, you walked up beside Steve, who was happily surprised at your appearance, with Sarah on your hip. 

“Yeah, you both are adorable!” 

Poor Bruce was a ball of nerves not even able to form the words to repudiate your comment. 

“It’s okay, nobody’s breaking any bylaws.”

Sarah’s attention had now shifted from the mature conversation and to Thor who was a few feet away. The man was making funny faces at her, snickers ensuing. Tapping your shoulder politely, she then pointed to Thor and you set her down, watching her run away, never once peeling away your eyes until she made it into the safe hold of the man, who shot a thumbs up allowing you to return to Steve and Bruce’s conversation. 

“It’s just that she’s not the most… open person in the world, but with you she seems very relaxed.” 

“Agreed. You two are practically like Steve and I!” 

“No, Natasha, she just likes to flirt.” 

“I’ve seen her flirt. Up close. And this ain’t that.” Your husband reached for a beer, then holding his arm out for you. 

“Look, as maybe the world’s leading authority on waiting too long. Don’t. You both deserve a win.” 

Steve gave Bruce a heartening smile, waiting as you unlatched your arm from his. You placed a friendly peck on the man’s cheek before giving him some words of reassurance.

“Don’t underestimate your worth.” Bruce then gave you both a small meek smile, returning to his drink. 

“What do you mean up close!” You and Steve were already long gone yet still able to hear Bruce’s cry of befuddlement to which your husband smirked, causing you to scoldingly slap him on the chest.

“You're absolutely terrible, Grant.” 

As expected, Steve just laughed at your reprimand. Whenever you scolded him, it usually involved his middle name being crammed somewhere into your lengthy chide. Like a disciplined child, he’d listen pitifully. Most of the time you’d chastise him for his reckless nature, that scared you to death. Then he’d apologize a thousand times while planting kisses all over your face, making you giggle endlessly, certainly failing at keeping up the irritated facade.  

“Yet, you love me, doll.” Steve had somehow dragged you to the dance floor, pulling your flush to him as the song began. You brought your arms to his neck, noses touching as he proudly smiled down on you, slightly tightening his grip on your waist. The two of you swayed slowly, your lips connected softly. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Once the song had finished it was replaced with an upbeat line dance to which you and Steve briskly rushed off the floor being met with Sarah who sat at a table with Natasha, cheering at you and Steve.

“Mommy, Daddy! That was omazing!” 

“Well, how about you and I go get some celebration cake for everyone!”

As any sane toddler, Sarah agreed to her father’s delectable plan. Steve plucked his daughter from Natasha’s lap, then taking yours and hers order. Once the two had left, you dived right into a conversation with Nat. The topic; Bruce.

Not too long after, the party ended and all Avengers then regrouped, tiredly surrounding the large coffee table covered in takeout and Thor’s hammer idly resting on the end. 

“But it’s a trickkkk.” Clint dragged out his statement to emphasize his belief, the little girl sitting beside you, smiling wider. 

“No. no. it’s much more than that.” Steve and Thor exchanged the flask as you stared at it, still revolted by its god-awful taste. 

“Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power.” You leaned towards the table, reaching for the carton, laughing at Clint’s truthful reenactment. 

“Whatever man, it’s a trick!”

Arising a challenge, Thor pointed to Mjolnir. 

“Please, be my guest.” 

“Come on.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.”

Clint got up from his seat on the ground, walking confidently towards the hammer as Tony let out a snarky remark.

“Clint, you’ve had a tough week, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up.”

Laughter circled around as Clint came up to Thor, a promising look on his face.

“You know I’ve seen this before right?” 

With one hand, Clint attempted to pull the hammer, utilizing all his strength not an ounce unused. 

“I still don’t know how you do it.” 

“Smell the silent judgement?” Giggles escaped yours and Sarah’s lips as Steve turned to see his two best girls enjoying the amusement. 

“Please, Stark, by all means.” 

With arrogant poise, Stark raised from his seat, scooting to the table as you could picture his impending disappointment, already laughing at the mere thought. 

“Never one to shrink from an honest challenge.” 

Rolling up his sleeves, Tony placed his arm in the handle of the hammer.

“Right, so, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?” 

“Yes, of course.” Thor calmly replied, just basking in the free entertainment from his competitive friends. You could see Steve who was beside him, trying his best to contain his laughter. Directing Sarah’s attention from Tony and to Steve, she held in her own laughter as you explained what was happening. 

“I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta.” To no surprise, the hammer didn’t budge leaving Tony quickly trying to cover his displeasure. 

Tony then returned with his suit’s hand, the hammer still resting on the table. Even Rhodey joined Tony’s unsuccessful conquest. 

“Are you even pulling?” 

“Are you on my team?”

“Just represent. Pull.” 

Next up was Bruce, who also failed, luckily not hulking out on everyone. Natasha gave him a smile while Steve and Thor tried to hide their merriment.  

After Bruce’s fruitless attempt, it soon became your husband’s turn. 

“Come on, Cap.” 

Steve then pulled on the hammer with all his brawn. You weren’t even sure if you were paying attention to the hammer anymore, too caught up on the shirt clinging to Steve. 

Your attention span was then proved when the hammer moved up. Sarah’s eyes widened as did yours. Thor had obviously noticed since you sensed some tensity from him. Steve tried once again, this time receiving the same futile result as the rest. When the hammer stopped budging you saw the now relieved man swiftly try to cover up his reaction. A nervous chuckle escaping his lips, echoing into the glass. 

“Nothing!” 

“Mrs. & lil Ms. Rogers?” Steve outstretched his hand to yours and Sarah’s, guiding you both towards the hammer. All three of you grabbed the hammer. Steve holding the handle while you and Sarah pulled at the stick. Everyone’s combined strength was enough to lift the hammer had it not been of otherworldly decent. Giving up, Sarah was just a smidge disappointed, perking back to herself at Tony’s quip.

“Even the House of Rogers failed too.” You shot Stark a faux look of vexation from the couch, to which he returned with his tongue poking out. Sarah caught this and then ran to him copying his action while you went to sit on Steve’s lap.

“And, Widow?”

Natasha sipped her beer and shook her head. 

“That’s not a question I need answered.” 

The night continued on with conspiracy theories about the hammer and playful jabs at Steve’s slip-up on his choice of words from the mission recently, Sarah enjoying every moment of the time albeit past her bedtime. 

At some point, Sarah had fallen asleep on your shoulder as you and Steve bid your fellow Avengers goodbye. 

Indeed, today has been one of the best days, all in part to your lovely family and closest friends. 

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

me watching Free!: Take Your Marks!

(reposted from  original blog, Aug 2, 2020)

I can’t believe it’s pretty much been a week since I watched the Timeless Medley films 1 and 2, and now I’m finally watching Film 3: Take Your Marks.

I’m super excited but also a lil anxious because my RinHaru fangirl-heart needs to be FED and I know I will implode out of frustration if I don’t get any quality RinHaru content.

Yes, I know it’s an addiction, but at this point I really don’t care ✌🏾😎

Anyways, I’ll be live-journaling my thoughts while watching this again. Honestly, the only reason I do this is because I actually love going back and re-experiencing my initial reactions. Again, addicted.

Plus I really wish I had better journaled my thoughts while watching Season 1, but who knew I was gonna be snatched by the throat and dragged down deep into the murky depths of this anime. Well, ya live and ya learn.

Disclaimer: this is literally just the random thoughts that came to me while watching the film live, so it’s neither coherent nor is it a proper review; I was too caught up in watching the movie, screeching into my hands every time Rin Matsuoka came on screen, and finally coming to grips within myself to the fact that I actually was in love with this beautiful red-haired sharkboy.

Well, without further ado, let’s get into it.

✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧

Free! Take Your Marks

• Episode 1 • 2:23 AM | Rin’s been on screen for like 45 seconds and already he’s making me smile like an idiot UGHHH. Even just a minute in, it seems like flickers if his elementary school-self are shining through in the way he readily agrees to help the Iwatobi gang with their video project. He’s so willing and happy to help, it’s like I’m watching Little Rin  😭😭😭💖

✧

2:32 AM | Aww why does Haru not like Kisumi?? :((( I like him! Even in middle school, Kisumi was so chill and kind and just an overall nice kid. Aww, come on Haru! 🥺

✧

2:44 AM | I’m GAGGING OMG WE ARE SEEING MORE OF RIN’S PERSONALITY (when he’s not all emo) AND IT’S LITERALLY GROWN UP ELEMENTARY SCHOOL RIN AND SHANJSNSJSJS I’M LIVINGGGG

Seriously why the heck is he making me all giddy like this >_A LOT to handle and I’m over here melting at 3 o’clock in the morning. 🥴

(I’m really crushing on Rin Matsuoka WHATTHEHECK)

✧

2:50 AM | Honestly though Makoto is so sweet and I actually love his and Rin’s friendship too, I wish we got to see more of it. I’m so happy for Makoto and his dream, babie you’re gonna do so well as a coach! 🥺💙

✧

2:53 AM | OMG IT JUST HIT ME! I BET I KNOW WHO THE OLD SWIM COACH WHOSE APARTMENT HARU IS TAKING OVER IS!!! Omg it’s totally that guy friend Starting Days, the quiet nice student coach who had the eye surgery. I forget his name but I’m certain it’s him!

   //

SEE WHAT DID I TELL YOU the old tenant is the Haru and Mako’s middle school student teacher swim coach!! XD (still forget his name tho)

✧

• Episode 2 • 3:02 AM | Oh good GRACIOUS, Rin with a ponytail though T_T

BLESS.

✧

3:20 AM | So Ikuya’s older brother from Starting Days is at the same hot spring as the Samezeka gang and now he’s talking to Sousuke (who’s totally growing on me more and more) and eeeek I’m actually really looking forward to interactions! Also…dang he and Sousuke are like…really attractive. Could they be the best looking guys on the show??? 👀

✧

• Episode 3 • 3:32 AM | Am I going to take this moment to point how Rin and Haru are both sitting up front in the car??? WHY YES I WILL TAKE THIS MOMENT TO POINT OUT HOW BOTHRIN AND HARU ARE SITTING UP FRONT IN THE CAR (as opposed to any other pairing just sayin 😌) 

   //

Okay but the way the camera zoomed in on Haru’s face when Rin was leaving and Nagisa told him to make sure he visits them *cue rinharu fangirling*

✧

• Episode 4 • 4:00 AM | This boy I swear. 

Rin is freaking CRYING at a cheesy sad romance movie I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMMMM.

Also ilowkey think I may love Ikuya too, lil babie 🥺 I hope he’s not a jerk in Season 3 and doesn’t become annoying with the whole Haru-drama, because he’s a lil cinnamon roll and I wanna love & protecc.

✧

4:10 AM | okay sorry but not sorry to be that person but like RIN OMG!! 😍😩 The way he’s totally being such a knightly older brother to Gou—even though he’s under the wrong impression that Gou is dating Momo—is so cute and sweet and wow, I literally love him. I’m over here dying at the way he’s all concerned about Gou and how he accepted the duel with Momo over her and just, UGH THIS ANIME BOY THO

✧

4:19 AM | I’m actually about to VOMIT OMG, this has all gotten hilariously out of hand and now Haru thinks Rin is quitting swimming and he’s having an intense heart to heart with Rin, telling Rin how HE’S the reason Haru was able to move towards the future and UGH THIS RINHARU MOMENT IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING OMG I’M DYING AND RESURRECTINGGG 😭

(gifs by @sapphiresflame​)

   //

Okay literally Haru is shouting out Rin’s name when Rin dove into the water during their relay, and the look of awe on Haru’s face when Rin dove in over his head is EVERYTHINGGG MY RINHARU HEART IS THRIVING Y'ALL

(gifs by @sapphiresflame​)

*cries in RinHaru*

✧

4:31 AM | THE WAY IM JUST AJSNSJSNSSKKBCUEHDH this episode was so sweet and hilarious and IMINLOVEWITHRIN and just wonderful! This was my fav episode out of the film, it was just so sweet and everyone came together to give Rin a going away party. Seeing Samezeka and Iwatobi both having fun together was so touching, and it was Fun who brought them all together. Really goes to show how special Rin is to everyone; Coach Sasube even was looking on at Rin interacting with everyone and had flashbacks of Lil Rin laughing and having fun with other back then. Rin really leaves a mark on everyone he comes across, and I adore him for it. I actually want to be like that to be like Rin in that way. Wow. I love these boys and I love Rin’s friendship with all the people in his life and I LOVE RIN MATSUOKA.

Now time to finally move onto Season 3! I want to so badly do it right now, but it’s really late on a Sunday and it really sucks trying to document my thoughts on the same device that I’m watching the anime :P But I will definitely be starting it soon, no procrastinating like I’ve done with AOT and Haikyuu, PROMISE!

[dirt-cup-draco]

Steve Rogers x Reader

You get stood up and Steve is there to make you forget.

You felt like a child. A dressed up, foolish child. There was a winter dance of sorts at your college and you had gotten asked, of all people someone had decided they had wanted to go with you. But that had obviously changed. You looked at your phone for the thousandth time in the last five minutes and there was no notification to be seen. No “Sorry I’m running late!” or “I can’t come because my grandma slipped and broke her hip, so sorry,”. Your date had gone completely MIA. So you were at the tower, hands fisted in the stupid, itchy tulle of your skirt and you were blinking back tears. You’d be damned if this idiot made you cry. 

Being one of the youngest avengers, you already felt a little inadequate and naive. You couldn’t compare to the people around you in maturity. And this just made that feeling worse. You were just a stupid kid. You wiped at your eyes furiously but even that couldn’t erase the tears that were now falling to your chagrin. Crying was for kids, damn it. You finally stood, finally accepting the fact your date wasn’t coming. Waiting half an hour made sense to you, traffic could be bad, he could’ve been putting the last touches on his perfect hair, smiling a perfect smile and getting just as ready for you as you had done for him. Waiting an hour had been a little pathetic, but you were a patient person, maybe something was wrong. Waiting nearly two hours was idiocy. 

Nearly sprinting down the halls, the best you could in your stupid, perfect heels that you had picked for tonight, you were trying to get to your bedroom as fast as possible. You’d already had enough teasing by Tony and Natasha about going out tonight, getting all excited and giddy. They had treated you like a teenager, going to her first dance. But you couldn’t blame them, you’d certainly been acting that way. Giggling at the slightly flirty texts from the boy who sat next to you in your biology class. He’d been making an effort, making you silly with a crush and now he didn’t even have the decency to show up for your plans. 

In your rush you didn’t notice the broad chest and sturdy man until you were colliding with him. His hands came to grip your shoulders and he held you out in front of him, a smile tugging at his lips and an apology you knew was at the tip of his tongue. But when he noticed the cursed tears streaming down your cheeks he froze. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” His hand came to cup your cheek and you nearly stumbled backwards like he’d burned you. Running into the former Captain America, in such a state as you were, was not pleasant. It was even less pleasant if you had a fat, stupid, crush on him like you did. Which is also why you were so eager to go out tonight. You could finally fall for some attainable. Maybe that wasn’t fair to your date, but you really had liked him enough to entertain getting to know him better. 

“Nothing, Steve, I’m just going to go to bed,” His blue eyes that were more beautiful than any summer sky you’d ever seen took you all in with the efficiency of a soldier. Even in retirement the man couldn’t drop that part of him. Jesus. Retirement. You were head over heels for a man that was fucking retired. Peter teased you relentlessly about that, you’d known the kid since high school, he’d been the one to introduce you to Tony. He’d insisted that you were very valuable. Being a mutant was very helpful. After proving yourself a thousand and one times the man had finally caved and you’d become a part of the strange family that was the world’s protectors. 

Steve didn’t really bring out familial love in you though. You’d always admired him, harbored a tiny crush on him as you watched him on the news. And even now that he had given up the mantle of Captain America you still admired him. You’d gotten to know him as the wonderful man he was. You were even privileged enough to get to see the less heroic parts of him, his faults and worries. Sometimes you’d go to get a midnight cup of hot cocoa and he’d be sitting on the couch, head hanging heavy in his hands and you’d make him some too, sitting next to him and listening to him. 

He didn’t treat you like a kid. He never had. Steve had accepted you as an avenger immediately, you were an equal. Not someone to follow after to make sure they can do their mission right. He trusted you and had faith in you and it was part of why you fell so hard for him. Yet you couldn’t help but feel like he only saw you as a coworker or whatever you two were. On a good day, friends. But he would never do anything that suggested otherwise. He was  gentleman but even then, couldn’t he find you appealing?

You tried to shove past him, already embarrassed enough. When he persistently asked again what was up, his hands gripping your shoulders a little tighter, a new wave of tears took over. You weren’t sad, you were embarrassed and feeling stupid and just wanting to disappear. And now you had to admit that you had been stood up-deemed unworthy of some asshole college kid. 

“He didn’t show alright? My date... he stood me up...” You said, voice quieting in shame. You were so lame, so unlikable apparently that you weren’t even worth a text. 

Steve’s eyes darkened dangerously and he frowned deeply. He knew how it felt to get stood up. The dames Bucky had dragged along to meet him had never wanted to and it had crushed his heart back in the 40s. He still remembered what it was like to wait on someone who was never coming around and it brought terrible feelings. He didn’t want you thinking you were the problem. The jerk who didn’t have the guts to face you was the problem. How could anyone miss out on the chance to take you out? 

Your lip trembled and you weren’t making eye contact. He knew you probably felt embarrassed and you were obviously upset. “Give me five minutes,” He found himself saying, fingers coming up to your chin, tilting your face until your eyes connected with him. He didn’t move until you were nodding, a quizzical look taking over your features. The night wouldn’t be a waste. He would make it better. 

Dashing into his room and then into the first suit he saw he was stumbling out of the door. You stood still but your eyes darted from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, taking in his new outfit. “C’mon,” He grinned, “We have a dance to get to,” 

You nearly started crying again, but a laugh escaped your lips. “Steve, the dance is over by now... I waited too long,” His smile fell a little but instead he took your hand and was dragging you through the tower, into an elevator. 

“No one is gonna be there,” You said again, confused. 

“We aren’t going, just trust me,” He said, hand coming to rest against your lower back, his thumb stroking comfortingly. You nodded and he hit the button to the roof. 

Steve kept his hand around yours and if you weren’t so focused on worrying that he could hear your heart beating out of your chest, you’d notice that he was having a difficult time keeping himself in check too. You were stunning tonight. Even if your mascara had begun to run a little bit. Even if your nose was red from rubbing it and your eyes were puffy. 

Fumbling with his phone for a minute he gave you a sheepish look and his hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing anxiously. “Um, I still don’t have the hang of these dang things, Tony gets me a new one every time I get used to the older model, could you, ya know? Make it play music?” 

You giggled and nodded, clicking on the most played playlist he had. It was some soft music from an era lost and it soothed you. Steve’s hands settled heavy on your hips. Your arms came up to rest on his shoulders. He was a decent amount taller than you so you had to step closer to reach him properly. Song after song played and you two swayed under the stars in silence. The lights from the city blurred and you dropped your head against his chest, feet pausing. 

“Y/N?” He asked, head ducking to catch your eyes. You were crying again. 

“S-sorry... God I’m so dumb. I feel so stupid for all of this, you shouldn’t be stuck spending your night with me,” You whimpered. Sniffling you tried to pull away from him, you were being an absolute nightmare and you just wanted to hide. 

“Hey, don’t say that sunshine, I lo-like spending time with you,” He stumbled over his words. He couldn’t give too much away. You wouldn’t ever feel the same about a fossil like him. 

“Really?” You questioned, gaze snapping back to his. He nodded and trailed his finger gently across your cheekbones, gathering the tears that were falling and wiping them away. 

“Of course, you’re making an old man feel young,” He teased. You laughed at that.

“You’re not an old man- okay maybe you are technically, you still look hot as hell,” The admission slipped out of your lips before you could catch it. You were blushing a thousand different shades you were sure. 

Steve chuckled. Well, he was a little dumbfounded to be honest. What did he say to that? It wasn’t very eloquent to say you looked hot as hell too. Even “thanks” didn’t sound right. He didn’t know how to flirt either. And had you been flirting? Did you think he was only a pretty face or did you like him? Was it just because he had saved your night that you were being generous? 

“Sorry... That was stupid of me to say. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” You said after he went quite a while without saying anything. The both of you had stopped dancing, the music looping in the background went unheard. Your arms were still around his shoulders, his hands still on your hips. Neither of you wanted to let go. 

“You didn’t, it was um- appreciated,” Steve finally said, pink creeping onto his cheeks. “You’ll give me a big head though, save that for the next guy,” He mentally slapped himself. The next guy?? Really? 

He was obviously flustered and that brought a bit of pride to your chest. You had tongue tied Steve Rogers. “What if I want you to be the next guy?” He was holding you close, hip to hip, chest to chest. You didn’t think he meant that in a friendly way. He looked surprised though at your words and you couldn’t hardly believe it. How could someone as silly as you get Steve Rogers to look like he was feeling lucky to be in their presence? 

“I wouldn’t stand you up,” He said and you smiled, hand coming to fiddle with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Better ask me out then and prove it,” You prodded, leaning forward, eyes trained on his lips now. You were making it very clear what you wanted. Steve was all for it. He needed you to be forward because he was sure he’d mess up somehow. “I-if you want to that is, I know I’m a stupid kid compared to you-”

Your words were muffled by his lips falling on yours. You melted and brought him impossibly closer, his hands flexing against your sides as he trailed them up and down, lips slanting against yours desperately. 

“Stop talking about yourself like that, “ He panted, lips brushing across your cheek .”You are not stupid and not a kid, youre a gorgeous, intelligent woman. One I’ve had my eye on for months. I’d be happy to take you out,” 

You beamed and Steve wanted to pause time, take a picture, something to capture the way you were looking at him like he had hung the moon. 

“I’d be happy to accept,” With another kiss you two were rocking back and forth again the music. The stars twinkled above and cars rolled past below but you two were in your own world. By the time you were in bed that night, you couldn’t even remember being upset. Thank god you’d gotten stood up.

[kaetastic]

Tag 9 People That You’d Like To Get To Know Better

ahh! thank you so much @gamingaquarius for the tag! i’m so excited to do this lolol

Top 3 ships: Stucky, Romanogers, Clintasha

Top 3 Pedro characters: AAAA, how will I even answer this??? Okay phewww let’s see the cards on the table... I’d definitely have to just give the first golden trophy to Oberyn Martell. Do you even need a reason?? Like, it’s OBERYN MARTELL. In the second place, Din Djarin. Mando. Straight up. Adorable, husky, sexy- Mando. Javier Peña comes in third, we get BLESSED scenes so yes.

Last Song: At Last by Etta James

Last Movie: Escape From Pretoria (such a freaking intense, suspenseful movie- you HAVE you to place a cent for watching it)

Currently reading: 

In meanings of Fanficition, I tend to read oneshots but I adore series as well. Thank you to the writers who dedicate their time for their WIP! Here is a list of fanfictions (mostly series) I hold close to my heart.

- Ten Percent by @lielullabye ; this story is just magnificent. having ransom AND steve rogers in one series? dang, okay- i was NOT ready. i just, this series makes me want to like scream at ransom but he’s a by :0( I love the contrast between steve rogers’ softness and ransom approach to the reader!! 

- Team Building by @mylifeliterally ; IF YOU WANT A HOT ESFIRIVNR SERIES FOR THE TRIPLE FRONTIER (excluding tom because uhm...) GO AHEAD CLICK ON THAT LINK!!! YOU’RE GONNA SWEAT WITH EVERY LINE LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- I! LOVE! EVERY WORK BY @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa !!!! LIKE WHATTTT okay. here’s the INCREDIBLE masterlist, I love ‘footprints in the sand’ (with oberyn martell and ellaria sand), I WOULD DIE FOR ‘with cherries on top’ (with max Phillips) and I hold ‘Addicted to you’ (with Frankie Morales) in a cage in my heart. I just- I love all her works, BYE- i might reread everything before I go to sleep lol

- Secret Keeper by @chelsfic ; HORACIO CARRILLO LOVERS STAND UP!!! I SAY STAND UP!!!! if i reread the series once again, it would be my third time reading it. I have to confess. Because I might actually reread it without MISSING A HEARTBEATTT!!!! the angst, the fluff, the SUSPENSE! LIKE MY HEART JUST CLENCHES AT EVERY LINE! i love this writing so much bye i need to cry 

- I have yet to read every single writing by @storiesofthefandomlovers but just grazing my eyes over the masterlist- i’m just left astounded. ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’ is a series EVERYONE love and adore!! i can vouch for the outstanding quality in every aspect! I was so into the writing, I forget that the movie hasn’t even come out. We love Maxwell Lord by only a few minutes of trailer we have been giving to quench on lol. We drinking every sip of Maxwell Lord content we can get. I love how the story is NOT how some of us expected it to be, there’s always turns and surprising decisions. I’m sad that it had ended but now, I can reread it over and over again. Just to highlight the parts when Max becomes hard every time the reader says Daddy to Snookums (?) lmao. I have also enjoyed the ‘El Baño’ mini-series! hehe <33 Not to mention ‘You should see me in a crown’ (a hot smut with our man oberyn martell, you guessed it, the deed is done on the IRON THRONES HWHWHW YESS)

- Pink + White by @imaginesbymk ; okay, hold me back for this one, I think my love for this series can be heard, and can be seen. Like, I’ve recently swam out of the Peaky Blinders fandom and into the Pedro Pascal’s, but with this series, I’m just enticed with every line. I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH!!!! I HAVE TO CONFESS MY BIG BIG TREMENDOUS LOVE FOR THIS WRITING! IT’S SO ANGSTY, SO SUSPENSEFUL! I LOVE LUCA CHANGRETTA BYE!

- every. single. writing. of @boogiewrites ; i’m head over heels for every line. Like, where do I even start? Tom Hardy’s characters are just so lovable. Alfie Solomons in ‘Choking on Sapphires’ is just perfect. His dialogues make it as if it was actually said by the man, it’s incredible. The twists, the angst, the fluffy moments, the words- it all just leaves me astounded. ‘Reports and Repertoire’ with Venom and Eddie... uhm... the thought of it makes me sweat. Bad Bride, omg just- YES

- @sinner-as-saint just blesses us with writing EACH SINGLE TIME!! like, every line, every smut, every writing, every dialogue- BYE! like infinity starts out of 10. No words can describe the incredibleness, the amazingness of every writing produced. Thank you so much for feeding us your content, thank you for sharing it with us!! I turn giddy at the thought of going through your masterlist once again haha. You want hot, OUT OF THE WORLD smut? head on.

- @marvelcapsicle has managed to capture my heart with Starting Over, I think within one line, people would just be enraptured by the series. it’s so warm to the chest like a fluffy blanket i find comfort in after a stormy day of things not going to plan. the softness of it just lingers throughout the ongoing series. i’m just left shocked at how amazing each line is, the description- the overlooked words, the settings, the characters, the DIALOGUES!!! aaa!!!! one word- AMAZING.

In the meanings of books, I’ve a lot on my plate but I haven’t found the time to do those readings lol. But, Ready Player One, the Wuthering Heights, and a few more but I’m too lazy to search lol

Currently watching: I haven’t brought myself to finish the third season of Narcos (after third episode), I’m just missing Boyd’s narration lol. I’m still recovering over the fact that Carrillo died, BYE! I need to finish Agents Of Shield, like after season 5 lol. 

Food I’m currently craving: I really really really really want some good risotto. Like, not kidding. Not a splash extra of cream or whatever, just perfect to the tongue. Hmmmmm, my mouth’s watering. Maybe some good vanilla ice cream with nutella for dessert. Okay, I’m gonna adventure through my kitchen lol.

No pressure tags: @peak-a-blinder @peakymarvelworld @gamingaquarius (haha back atchu) @the-silver-iris @just-an-outstanding-auror @hecohansen31 @lotsoffandomimagines @lielullabye @dindisneydjarin

[taeyongbestboi]

Okay, so i just took a nap and had the most fanfic / wattpad dream EVER like idek anymore.

It goes like this

I was on a music show concert and one of the artist in the line up was nct dream (we young era OMG THEY’RE SO TINY) and i decided to buy a more expensive seating section, while my friends bought the cheaper one (it was 50 thousand rupiah and mine costed 75 thousand rupiah). It was kinda like “Spotify on Stage” or something, so they’re cheap.

Anyway, idk why but i decided to bring my dog with me and he’s just running all over the place and i noticed that the venue itself wasn’t really crowded (idk why either) and my dog accidentally went to the venue (that time the gate wasn’t even opened) and i took a peek inside and it wasn’t that big. It has 2 levels and apparently, my ticket was idk what happened but i should be on the main section (1st floor) but ended up being on the 2nd level on the LEFT WING jeez. So all of my friends went in first, they all got to the 2nd floor, leaving me and my dog behind and i patiently waited for my section’s gate to be opened.

And so, it finally open. There wasn’t anyone going to my section and i was going in alone (?) pretty weird huh. And so i sat down, kinda near the railing or a wall (the railing or wall is on my right) and who knows where my dog went but he just wasn’t with me anymore (its a dream, relax)

AND SUDDENLY

CHRISTOPHER FREAKING BANG WAS SITTING BESIDES ME.

I’m laughing rn

So he sat down. Lemme describe his physical appearance and look in DETAILS.

He’s wearing a black tshirt (duh, his usual), his hair’s blonde (MY UTMOST FAV), and he’s wearing silver jewelries like a bracelet and also skz’s necklace. He’s so pale jeeeeeeez omg and doesn’t wear that much makeup lol. You know guys, i can LITERALLY feel that he’s besides me. Creepy right omg what kind of dream

And, he’s gorgeous. Guys, he’s so gorgeous :”) i feel like crying right now

AND THEN WE TALK. WE TALKED LMAO

Okay, so i can only remember some, so it goes like this

“Whoa, aren’t you Bang Chan from Skz?”

“Yeah that’s me” and he laughed

AND THIS DREAM WAS SO MADE SENse like HE’S AUSTRALIAN AND HE SPEAKS ENGLISH AND PLEASE IMAGINE

“Wow, what are you doing here?”

“Idk, just seeing a concert, being like a normal people”

Up to this point, only two things went weird. 1st is that i have no idea where my dog went, 2nd idek which country i’m in rn. How is bangchan here watching the same show with me?

After that i just went “ahhh” while nodding and i actually told him that i want to this section alone cos apparently my friends r on another section so i’m thankful that he sits besides me.

And he got closer, talk into my ear (cos the concert’s starting) and said “you’re most welcome”

AND HE ALSO THANKED ME FOR TREATING HIM LIKE A NORMAL GUY AND NOT AS A CELEBRITY

And i did the same :/ i lean in and said “anytime”

AND

AMDISNJZSIUAKKZISB I CANT

THIS PART MAKES ME GO BOOOOOM BOOOOOOM

i’m writing this with the biggest and dumbest smile on my face dang

He said that he got kinda shy after i spoke right into his ear like that (cos we’re too close)

AND I LITERALLY WENT “NOOOO DON’T SAY THAT” and blushed hard damn boy

AND HE’S ALL CUTE AND GIDDY WHILE SAYING THAT???? U KNOW WHEN HE’S GIDDY? A giant fluff ball indeed.

Okay, so then we ended up enjoying the concert together like we’re homies. We laughed, we cheered (i cheered for the dreamies tho lol) and our shoulders would often met and we’ll laugh about it omg it was heavenly

At one point i realised that it was just a dream and i have the audacity to think “well, even if it’s just a dream, make it last” WOW I’M SO COOL LMAO

And the show ends and i forgot whether it’s before the show or after the show but Chan actually asked me out. LIKE HAHAHAHHAHA HE ASKED ME OUT YAS GURL U HEARD ME RIGHT

He said, “why don’t we hang out a little?”

And i was like :0 “o-okay...”

Well i mean, i wouldn’t mind tho??? ITS CHRISTOPHER FREAKING BANG

AHHHHHH AND AND AND I ALSO TOLD HIM (at one point on our convo before the show starts) that i actually like him and that he’s one of my bias in skz and he was like “oh, really??” And i was like “bruh, i watched your show on Januari 2019 in Jakarta!!” And we laughed (again) and he seemed happy to know that i’m a stay

Back to the topic where he asked me out and i said yes and we exchanged our contacts i forgot it was our numbers or sns? Idk i don’t remember.

ONE DAY, he really picked me up y’all. I cant anymore

So apparently, we’re in my country, in my city, basically my territory. And in this dream, i wasn’t super rich, my family was actually struggling to live. And i live in this tall but old building, alongside my neighbours who were as poor as us. We live in flats, yes, that’s the word. And the building we’re living in is actually my church building irl so it felt super real.

The one who picked me up was actually his driver. I have to pick Chan somewhere in the city. After that we decided to grab some meal and we start throwing each other silly questions

Me: “well, what’s your fav food?”

Him: “rice.” WHILE SMIRKING LIKE ????

Me: “bruh, we’re asian!! We eat rice!” I laughed

And he laughed

Akxjdndkdisnkzjdbaksj naui simjang

Me: “okay, what is your fav food OTHER than rice?”

And after that i cant remember anything anymore (about the convo :))

I also can’t remember where we had lunch, this 2nd half of my dream is just us inside his car

Then we talked about a lot of things. I remember telling him a lot about my story (i just cant remember the exact things i told him, nothing really absurd though just my interests n stuffs), and he would too, and just like that back and forth. The ambience was nice, and relaxing. That time i really felt time has stopped because irl i need to deal with quite a lot if things (that include my thesis, the struggle to keep on going as my parent’s business wasn’t in the prettiest shape due to covid-19, and other stuffs). And the fact that i really need someone to talk to atm makes the dream 1000000000000% better.

So, it was the time for us to finally call it a day. And i know by heart that after all of this end, i wouldn’t be able to meet him again. How could i? I have experienced a full day hang out with the precious Christopher Bang, i couldn’t ask for more right? It was more than enough for me and i’ll continue to be his ordinary fan. On our way back to where i live, we kinda became quite. As if none of us wanted it to end.

And

Omg i said the word ‘and’ like a thousand times now

Okay so

Listen

It was 15 minutes away from where i live, so our meeting would soon come to an end.

And he suddenly pulled out some kind of a recorder or a music player idk it has a can-like-shape, and start playing a track.

It was an unreleased track. About a girl who make his heart goes warm, someone who supports him for who he is.

I nearly cried writing this guys

And he asked me to listen to it

And i did

And i was like “chan, this is beautiful”

And U KNOW THE FEELING

OF AN INEVITABLE GOODBYE

THAT ANGSTY FEELING

INSIDE YOUR GUT

I FEEL THAT

*cries*

The song is beautiful. The lyrics, the melody, everything’s perfect.

I managed to listen to it twice, but i cant remember how it sounds like. But it was BEAUTIFUL. Trust me on this.

And i just remembered, THE SONG IS IN FREAKIN KOREAN. I cant speak korean :”) but i understands EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. Dreams r cool

And he got all giddy again with his goofy smile, and somehow my brain process it to:

‘Chan wrote that song a long time ago, probably. Well, definitely before we met. He’s now showcasing it to me and the lyrics clicked and maybe i’m the girl in the lyrics’

I don’t wanna make it sound like it’s all about me (even tho it’s my dream :”)) so i asked him

“This song is about stays, right?”

And he answered

“Well, you’re a stay right? So, yes.”

OKAY :”””””””

I feel like he felt that our meeting was destined, even though we’ll never gonna see each other again after this, we know that both of us are grateful for this meeting.

Omg i really hope that i’ll dream like that again tonight

OH SIS I’M NOT DONE YET.

So, we arrived at my place. He parked the car and i was still listening to the song and when it came to its end, IDK WHY but (please forgive me for this idek what i’m doing) and i somehow REACHED FOR HIS ABS? TRAILED IT ALL THE WAY UP WITH MY RIGHT PALM (Jesus, forgive me), and then we

Kissed.

Yes. Just like that.

And the next thing that i remember is that he accompany me until i’m outside my flat, and people on my neighbourhood wondered who’s the guy (cos he looked rich and handsome) LMAO

And then i wake up.

This is one of the few dreams that i remember that has a nice ending. The nap ends when the dream ends. It was sooooooo satisfying!

——————————————————————————

Okay thank you for listening to my unimportant story :”) i do hope one day you’ll get a sweet sweet dream of your bias just like me. Have a good day, y’all!

[artificialqueens]

Hot as Hell and No A/C, Chapter 4 (Branjie) - Blackhighheels

(Read at AO3)

Four

”Morning Jay,” Jose says as he shuffles into the kitchen. His hair is sticking up in all directions and his eyes are barely open, even though it’s already close to eleven. He desperately needs some coffee or this day will be a complete mess.

”Good morning, sunshine. Don’t you look chipper this morning.” Jason chuckles and thankfully hands him the much needed caffeine.

”Shut up, asshole,” Jose grumbles anyway as he takes the mug. He sighs as the sweet and hot liquid explodes on his tongue.  ”I didn’t go to bed until like four in the fucking morning .” He adds once he has swallowed.

”You want me to pretend I didn’t hear every word that was yelled last night or are we gonna talk about it?” Jason asks and makes Jose look up at him, before he drops his head on his arm on the counter.

”Fuck,” he groans. Brock is going to kill him, if he finds out. ”Please, promise me you gonna keep every word to yourself.”

”Goes without saying. I like Brock. Never thought he’s playing for our team, but he’s a nice guy. Together with Ada he’s the only person in the Hytes family, who isn’t an absolute fucked up asshole.”

”I don’t know them, only Rachel. Well, and his parents from talking to them for about a second the other day.”

”You better stay away from them Vanj’. Brock has a reason to be scared. If his dad finds out he’s talking to us, he’s in for a lot of trouble.”

”What do ya mean? Like, he’s beating him up or some shit?” Now Jose gets really worried.

”I don’t know. I don’t think he’s physically able to do it anymore, ‘cause he had a heart attack a couple of years ago and can’t do any hard labor since then, but when we were kids…” Jason scrunches up his face. ”Brock’s older brother, Dan, is my age and we were in one class. He’s an idiot, who got hit in the head fighting one too many times. But I’ll always remember the day when we all went swimming after school and I got invited for whatever reason. We must have been like fifteen or something. Dan had marks all over the back of  his thighs. I asked him what had happened and he replied that his dad had caught him making out with a girl after church and had beaten him with a belt. He said it like it was completely normal. I told him I thought it was fucked up and he nearly beat me up for saying that, ‘cause the asshole minister preaches that it’s normal to beat your kids and that kids aren’t allowed to cry and shit like that.”

”Shiiit, mami.” Jose hisses. This is a lot worse than what he imagined was going on.

”All three of them always had like bruises and were real scared of their dad. People are talking ‘round here and they say that he also beat his wife.  Brock was the smallest and used to cry a lot as a little kid. I think he must have had it real rough at home. Now that I know that he’s gay, I don’t really get why he ever came back. The whole family basically lives at church. Ada got married when she was just sixteen and I think it was more to get away from her dad. Joe, her husband’s a good guy though. Not the sharpest knife, but he’s good to her. Since they got married she’s been popping out one kid after the next. Dan’s married to the minister’s daughter and she’s just as narrow minded as him. I don’t think she ever cut her hair and like, only wears skirts. When they were courting, they went on some missions and shit, then came back and now they’re trying to have as many kids as Ada or more. There’s no music in their house other than gospel. They don’t own a tv. When we were still at school they believed in creationism and I think they still only fuck to make more babies. Brock’s always been the most normal out of them. Now knowing that he’s gay kind of explains why he hasn’t got married yet, even though they’ve been trying to set him up with church girls for years. I always thought he might get back to his studies once their finances got better.”

”He said he didn’t wanna be a minister and that his family needed him or some shit. But child…. Now I really wanna take him out of here and … I dunno,” Jose mumbles the last part. He really doesn’t know. He wants to protect Brock, take care of him, look after him and make him smile. He wants to see him laughing, not crying. He wants him to be not tired for just one day. He wants him to relax and be happy. He wants to hold him and kiss him. He wants to be with him. But that’s all stuff that he can’t tell Jason, because he’d look like a fucking idiot who’s fallen for the wrong guy once again.

”He’s a good guy and if he opens up to you like this… girl, he must really like ya. But Brock will never leave his family and you’ll be gone in another three weeks. So you might wanna think about what you’re offering. You’ll be gone, but he has to stay and live here.” Jason’s warning rings loud and clear in his mind, but also makes his stomach clench painfully.

”I know,” Jose sighs and puts his coffee down. All of a sudden, it makes him feel nauseous.

”Fuck, Jo, I can see on your face how much you like him. Just… be careful, k? If not for yourself and your romantic heart, then do it for him.”

Jose just sighs again. Last night he lay awake and dreamt with open eyes of what he could do with Brock and how he could make him fall for him.

Now he knows that would be even more of a fucked up idea than he initially thought. He can’t be more than friends with Brock, no matter how much he hates it. He only has three more weeks left here and Jose wants to take his own heart back to L.A. with him, in one piece if possible.

His phone beeps and when he takes it out of his pocket he sees a text from Brock. He is dimly aware that he’s smiling like a damn fool.

***

Brock is proud of himself that he had the courage to really text Jose in the morning. After a bit of an awkward back and forth about where and when they could hang out, they decided the easiest way was, if Jose just came out to where Brock was working today. It’s an old ranch in the middle of nowhere that Daniel is renovating for a client. Well, was renovating before his accident. Now Brock has to at least fix the roof and the porch so Dan can continue once he’s better.

Brock is so giddy with excitement that he forgets the hammer twice as he crawls up on the roof.

Around lunch time he can see Jose’s fancy car slowly rolling up the dusty pathway even from afar. No one else around here drives a car that expensive. When Jose gets closer, Brock waves and forgets his fear of heights for a second, as he lets go of the wooden beam he’s sitting on.

”Child, you better come down here, ‘cause I’m sure as fuck not crawling up there!” Jose yells as soon as he gets out of his car.

”I’m coming, I’m coming,” Brock chuckles and carefully makes his way over to the ladder and down to the ground. This is not the time to fall and break his neck, if there ever was one.

When he gets down, Jose is holding a large basket and a blanket. ”Brought us some food,” he smirks and holds up the basket.

”Thank you.” Brock’s cheeks heat, but he doesn’t really mind it. He’s been out in the sun all morning so most likely he’s all red anyway. ”We can sit over there in the shade if you want.”

”Dang, I thought I could get my tan on,” Jose complains.

”Oh ok, we can stay in the sun then.”

”Idiot, I’m just fucking with ya! You really think I’d like to sit in the fucking heat? Especially when I have to spend my afternoons and evenings in a building with a fucked up A/C?” Jose is laughing and bumps his shoulder into his, before he leads the way and spreads the blanket out in the shade. The spot has another advantage: It can’t be seen from the small pathway, should anyone else come up here.

”I thought Jason got the A/C fixed?”

”He did… for about a day. Then the damn thing broke again. I’m sweaty as fuck from simply teaching them kiddos.” Jose opens the basket he’s brought and starts unpacking. ”Don’t worry, I didn’t cook any of this shit myself. I stopped by your sister’s store.”

”I knew this looked familiar,” Brock laughs and picks up one of the rolls Jose’s brought. ”You really didn’t have to do this though. One more thing I owe you for.”

”Well, Miss Thing there’s only one way to make it up to me.” The way Jose says it sounds very seductive.

Brock’s very nervous when he asks: ”How?”

”You fix the fucked up A/C next time you’re over.” Brock is surprised, but then has to laugh with Jose when he starts cackling. His laughter is as loud and boisterous as his personality. Brock likes it so much to see him laugh. ”You quite the handy man, aren’t ya?” Jose nudges him again. ”But I have to say, ya look more like a real ass cowboy with your hat and all.”

”What? You don’t like my hat?” Brock laughs and adjusts the old straw cowboy hat he is wearing. Jose doesn’t need to know that he only wears it, so he won’t get burned by the sun and because it’s old and he doesn’t care if it gets any dirtier.

”I like it,” Jose smirks and snatches the hat off his head a second later. ”I just think it’d look better on me.” He twirls the hat around his index finger as he leans back on his elbows.

”It’s all sweaty and dirty.” Brock feels embarrassed when he points it out. He knows the hat is disgusting, but he doesn’t want to see Jose getting disgusted by it. He looks down, stares at the blanket.

”What do ya think?” The words make Brock look up at again and Jose is now wearing his hat and a large smile.

Shit.

For a couple of seconds Brock doesn’t think anything.

Beautiful.

Cute.

Hot.

Sexy.

That’s what he’s thinking.

”It looks good on ya.”  Is what he’s saying.

”Really?”  Jose cocks his head to the side. He looks like a fucking model.

”Really.” It feels like time stands still as they smile at each other and all Brock can think about is Jose, his smile, his eyes, his lips and his hat on his head.

”Let me see. Take a picture of me,” Jose snaps him out of his daze, as he hands Brock his very expensive and new phone. Jose poses for the camera like a pro, then goofs off a bit by pretending to line dance and makes Brock laugh so hard he snorts and can’t stop until Jose drops back down beside him on the blanket, chuckling as well. ”Show me.” He requests once he is able to talk again.

”I’m not a photographer, but I think the pics are good. And the video is really good,” Brock smirks as he hands Jose his phone.

”Bitch! You filmed me doing the chicken dance! You such a cunt!” Jose screeches, rips the hat off his head and swats at Brock with it. ”But the pics are cute, boo. Looks like ya know what you doing.” Jose says after he’s stopped laughing and looked at the pictures.

”When I was away at college, someone scouted me for photoshoots. For a couple of weeks I modelled for them, did some fashion shoots, but then one of the ministers at the college caught wind of it and told me it wasn’t ok to do that because of vanity and seductive looks and stuff. So I stopped. But I’ve been interested in photography since then. If I ever got the opportunity to go back to college, I’d study photography.” Brock reveals yet another story and dream he has never told anyone around here.

”You certainly have the bone structure for modelling and the eye for photography. Betcha, you could still get some gigs if you wanted to.” Jose fiddles with his phone for a bit, then snaps a couple of shots of Brock and shows him.

”I look like shit.”

”You just look tired, boo. You working too much.”

”I don’t have a choice.”

”I know.” There isn’t any conviction behind Jose’s words, but Brock doesn’t want to get into this right now.

”Let’s eat?” He asks and is glad when Jose accepts. They are back to laughing their heads off in no time when Brock tries to teach Jose how to catch grapes with his mouth after throwing them up in the air. Surprisingly Jose lacks the coordination and fails every damn time. Or maybe he’s just doing it to keep Brock laughing - who knows.

***

Their lunch meetings only last two days, then Brock’s family gets in the way once more.

”I’m so sorry, but I have to cancel our lunch plans,” Brock tells Jose on the phone and looks around to make sure he isn’t overheard by his family.

”Oh, ok. Dinner then?” Jose’s disappointment is audible through the speaker.

”I can’t do that either. I have to work over at the grocery story during lunch and after I’ll done here at the farm. Ada was put on bedrest and now my mom is managing the store. But she can’t do the re-stocking of the shelves.”

”Don’t tell me you taking that on now as well?”

”Who else?” Brock sighs heavily.

”Brock that’s crazy! You’re actively working towards a heart attack at thirty-five,” Jose scolds him and it feels kind of good to have someone who is worried for him. At the same time can’t change it so he opts for not saying anything. ”When you gonna stack those shelves?”

”Around nine. Why?”

”Leave the backdoor to the store open and I’m gonna help ya. It’s gonna be done much quicker and at least we get to talk a bit. I have another funny Thackery story for ya.”

”Jo, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” What if someone sees them?

”Hey, if anyone sees us, we can always just say the big city guy is used to 24/7 service and needed some cat food. And Imma be quiet, all sneakily and shit.” Jose comes up with an excuse.

”Fine, I’ll text you when the coast is clear.” Brock quickly gives in, because really, he just wants to spend some more time with Jose.

When half past nine comes around Jose strolls into the store through the backdoor.

”Booh!”

”I’ve heard you coming,” Brock chuckles and turns around. He starts laughing for real when he sees Jose. He is wearing a blue work overall with a neon orange security vest over it. The fact that the overall is unzipped nearly down to his navel and his naked chest shows makes the outfit even more ridiculous, albeit sexier. ”What the heck are you wearing?”

”I came to work, work, work, work, work… so I gotta do the work work work work work work,” Jose sings and moves his hips to his own tune. ”I found this at Jason’s. It cute, right?” he smiles and puts his hands on his hips.

”Very,” Brock chuckles. ”But also unnecessary. We can stack some shelves without a neon vest.”

”Safety first!” Jose screams loudly in delight after his own smart ass comment.

”Sshhh, my sister’s living just next door.”

”Fine, Mary, Imma be as quiet as a hamster.”

Brock can’t help it, he guffaws. ”As a mouse, you idiot,” he corrects and pushes Jose into the direction of the shelves they need to stack.

***

For nearly a week, each night they stock the shelves together and then hang out at the closed store, eat snacks and exchange stories. Brock gets an idea of what life is like for Jose in L.A. and he wishes he could glimpse at it, just once.

The additional work and the long talks are part of the reason why he gets even less sleep now.  The only time he gets to nap is when he falls asleep out of sheer exhaustion at night. Another reason are the thoughts in his head, as he processes his friendship with Jose, his views on life are so different from his own.

Jose doesn’t believe that being gay is a punishment. Instead he sees it as a way to belong to a community, share a culture with others, that Brock has only seen glimpses of. The fact that there are gay movies and romance novels out there blows his mind. He doesn’t even own a tv.

Jose’s view on life and love is much more positive and romantic than Brock’s own. Jose wants to find true love and be with that man for all eternity. Brock wants that too, he just knows that for him it’s not an option - not now, not ever.

However he gets to dream with Jose, live through his ideas and hopes when he isn’t allowed any of his own.

The hopelessness he feels when he’s alone in bed at night is crushing, when the urge to touch himself to his memories of Jose gets overwhelming and makes him feel dirty and disgusting. He’s not supposed to lust after his friend and yet he can’t forget their one short kiss, the way Jose smiles, laughs, walks and smells; Brock finds everything about him arousing.

He always squelches the desire by reminding himself that Jose will be gone in two weeks.

***

When Daniel calls him to tell him that he has to stop by at the dance studio because Jason called about the A/C, Brock is less than excited. He stops by the store to stack the shelves even though it’s not closed yet.

Since the dancing studio will be closed by the time he gets there and Jason will be around, he won’t get to see Jose, which ruins his day completely. He’s got so used to seeing him regularly over the last week. Even all the sleepless nights are more than worth it; it’s not like he’s slept well for years.

”Yay, our lord and saviour!” Jason greets him as he lets him into the studio.

”Let’s see first if I can fix it,” Brock shrugs and follows him through the empty building.

”Here’s the A/C unit, there are the manuals and stuff. I have to get going, because I have a meeting tomorrow in Dallas and are driving out there tonight. Jo should be here in a sec to help you and lock up,” Jason lets him know and Brock’s heart starts beating faster at the prospect of seeing Jose.

”Hey, you hoes. Did I just hear my name?” His distinctive voice echoes through the rooms and makes Brock laugh. ”Hope you only saying nice things about me, or I have to whoop your ass.” Jason doesn’t look very threatened and just laughs.

”I better get going, you asshole. Don’t forget to lock up. Imma be back tomorrow evening. You better not try and cook again. There’s no fire brigade in town.”

”Leave, bitch!” Jose hollers and pretends to throw one of the weights after Jason. ”That motherfucker always gotta run his mouth,” he giggles once they are alone.

Brock just smiles, but doesn’t reply. He’s still too shocked by Jose’s sudden appearance.

”You really gonna fix the damn A/C?”

”Isn’t that why I’m here?” Brock looks up from his tools.

”Kinda,” Jose shrugs with a smile. ”Just thought after you done with that thing, we could go upstairs and watch that show I told you about. Can’t leave here without educating ya a bit.”

Brock feels his heart beat in his throat. ”The one with the Spanish gay drug dealer?”

”Arab gay drug dealer in Spain,” Jose corrects.

”Right,” he nods. ”Sure. Let me just at least look at ‘that thing’.”

”You’ve already eaten something? We could get some pizza and make it a real dope ass movie night?”

”No, not yet. But didn’t Jason just say you’re not allowed to cook. And there’s no delivery service in town.”

”I can heat up some frozen pizza, dumbass. Why don’t you do your fixy-thingy here and I make the pizza and we meet upstairs? It’s way too hot in this fucked up building without a functioning A/C.”

”That’s what I’m here for,” Brock rolls his eyes playfully at Jose’s dramatics.

”That a yes?”

”That’s a yes.”

”Woohooo!” echoes off the walls of the dance studio and a moment later Brock is alone again to deal with the faulty device.

***

Brock’s done after just half an hour, or at least knows what the problem is. He also knows that he can’t fix it without additional parts.

Jose is already waiting for him on his couch, a large pizza on the table and the tv turned on. It’s much cooler up here and after the first couple of slices of pizza and Jose’s running commentary on the show they are watching, Brock slowly finds himself relaxing. It also helps that the fluffiest cat he’s ever seen, Thackery, is sprawled out on his lap purring loudly.

The couch is comfortable and he leans back. Jose is close enough so the scent of his cologne hangs in the air. After a while the scent gets stronger, when Brock’s head comes to rest on his shoulder. He fights to keep his eyes open, but is too tired to do so. Jose’s arm wraps around Brock’s shoulders and pulls him closer, then his fingers play with the sleeve of his T-shirt, tickle his skin. This should feel weird, because he’s not used to any kind of physical touch; But it doesn’t. It’s comforting and nice and Brock never wants this moment to end.

The last thing Brock is aware of, is when Jose’s other hand slides into his hair and massages his skull. Then he’s asleep, just forty minutes into the movie night and for once he stays asleep, right there in Jose’s arms.

***

When Brock wakes up, he is still on the sofa, still in Jose’s arms and there’s a blanket thrown over the both of them and wrapped around his shoulders. It’s a weird feeling to wake up for once without a headache, burning eyes or the overall feeling of doom all around you. He’s comfortable resting against Jose and he wishes he could stay like this a while longer.

”Fuck,” escapes him when he checks the time and realises it’s already half past five. He was supposed to be up over an hour ago. Quickly and quietly he gets up and takes a moment to wrap Jose completely in the blankets so he won’t get cold. He thinks about leaving him a note with a Thank you, but decides to just text him later. He really has to leave.

He parks his brother’s truck in front of his house, then runs over to his parent’s farm. He thinks about just running into the stable like this, but he needs other shoes at least.

”Where the fuck’ve you been?” His father screams at him as soon as he steps a foot into the house. Both his parents are up and sitting at the breakfast table.

”Working,” he lies.

”Working? The whole night? Which hussy have you been with? If ya get her pregnant out of wedlock, there’ll be hell to pay, you hear me!” Brock wonders if his father has already been drinking this early in the morning. “You not ruining my reputation!”

”I wasn’t with a woman! You know that Dan called me last night about the A/C at the studio. I’m not an electrician and was up all night trying to fix it.”

”You were at the faggot’s studio all night? Haven’t I forbid you to go there!” His father’s cane flies against his leg and hits him in the knee as he throws it his way.

”I was working there, earning money for Dan. What the fuck do you want from me? One second I’m supposed to take care of his business and the next I’m not allowed to see his clients? Which is it?” Brock yells back.

”Don’t you dare raising your voice at me!” His father’s voice is icy now. That’s when he always was at his most dangerous when they were younger. The most horrific beatings he’s got, always started with that voice.

Today, however, Brock isn’t scared of him. For once he’s slept, he feels rested and strong and he won’t be intimidated by his drunk of a father. Maybe tomorrow again, but certainly not today.

”Fine. So what is it? The money or not accepting work from people who pay for it?”

”You’re a disgrace, smart-mouthing me like that. Talking about working, when you haven’t even started your work here, because you’ve been hanging around this damned dancing studio. One should burn it to the ground and these faggots right along with it!” His father rages. ”And let me tell ya, the days when you’re being lazy and not pulling your weight are over! It’s time you get married and produce a couple of kids so you know what responsibilities are! No more excuses. And don’t you dare saying no when we find ya a wife.”

”Or what?” Brock’s voice is shaking with rage.

”Or you’re out of here. You can leave and never come back. And now go and feed the animals. I can’t stand the pathetic sight of you. Fuck off!”

Brock turns around on his heels and marches off, slamming the door behind him. ”Likewise,” he mutters as he makes his way to the stables. He can hear the animals already, they’re restless and hungry and that certainly is his fault and they shouldn’t be suffering because of him. He can’t let this happen again.

TBC

[louhooo]

Hello My Old Heart | Chap. 9

Chapter Summary: You know what they say about ‘assuming’....

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader [AU]

Warnings:Swearing, minor fluff, angst

A/N: I definitely meant to have this up on Wednesday, but work has sucked all of the energy from me this week. Hopefully next week is better!

All feedback is welcomed! 💘

Giddy was the only way to describe your mood. Schoolgirl giggles and longing gazes at the words on your screen carried you into the early hours of morning, until finally falling asleep with your phone in your hand just around four in the morning.

You didn’t need much sleep, it seemed, when you had something exciting happening in just a few hours. You woke around eight and quickly got ready for the day. A little more time was spent on your appearance, but you resisted the urge to go the full nine-yards, deciding jeans and plain white t-shirt would make you seem more casual for your date.

Date. 

A date with your husband. 

Maybe it was best to not freak out about that part yet, and just take it step by step…. Right?

Your eagerness efficiency had you ready an hour before you were meeting him. Instead of sitting in your hotel room, thinking too much and stressing yourself out, you drove downtown and decided to shop to keep yourself busy. A cute boutique beckoned you in first. Soft indie pop played over the speakers and it smelt like warm vanilla. You browsed through a rack of dresses, debating on if you still liked the dress you brought for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night.

“Are you finding everything alright?” You looked up at the source of the voice and you nearly screamed. She screamed for you. “Ohmygod! Y/N! I heard you were back in town…!

Dot Williams. Everything about her presence sent you right back to high school when you’d stand in front of the mirror, and pinpoint every flaw in your appearance. 

You grinned (at least, you hoped that’s what it looked like).

“Hi, Dot, how are you?”

“Oh, I’m great! The store is doing fabulous, so I’m doing fabulous!” You grinned politely with a tilt of your head.

“Oh, this is your store? It’s cute!” Can someone giggle conceitedly? Well, if no one else could, Dot had it covered.

“Oh, thank you!” God, was she this bubbly in high school? “So, what brings you back to town?” You couldn’t help but pinch your brows slightly.

“Steve and Sharon’s–”

“Oh, right! The wedding! Duh!” She smacked her forehead and laughed, “I’m super bummed. I’m going to the Hamptons this weekend otherwise I totally would’ve gone.” Sharon would have never invited Dot in a million years. There’s no way– “Bucky was pouting so much when I told him I couldn’t go.” You blinked.

“Bucky?” A soft gasp and a gentle hand landed on your arm.

“Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wanted to ask you if it’d be alright, but he said it’d be fine.” Your grip loosened from the dress you had in a vice and you turned your body directly towards her.

“If ‘what’ would be alright?”

“Well… he and I are dating, you know?” Your heart sank to the floor, going back into its fortress.

“Oh… I… I didn’t know that.” 

“Ya did pretty much leave him, so… can’t hurt that much.” Snotty and condescending. Just like high school.

You swallowed back your tears and cleared your throat, “Well, uh, it was…. Your store is nice, but I’ve gotta go. Stuff to do for the wedding.” She gave you a perky goodbye, but you were already hightailing it to your car.

How fucking dare he? You should have known better than to agree to the date. You’d both changed, and he had clearly moved on. You should, too. Finally end it like you should have done four years ago.

Peaches: Can’t make it. Sorry.

Bucky stared at his phone for ten minutes, trying to find a reason for why you’d cancel twenty minutes before you were supposed to meet.

Bucky: Are you feeling alright? I can get some of your soup from Peg’s and bring it by? With extra crackers even :)

He only waited a minute before texting again.

Bucky: Is it stuff for the wedding? I can help!

Bucky: Even if it’s just to tell Sharon to chill out about the details!

Bucky: But, honestly, I think Steve is worse, so I’ll just talk to both of them!

After another twenty minutes had passed without a response, he tried calling you, but the line just rang until it went to voicemail. He stopped leaving messages after the seventh one. He sat silently on the deck trying to figure out what happened in the last seven and a half hours since you’d last texted him. 

Did he say something? Bucky scrolled through their conversation, only noting the times when he’d teased you and you teased him right back. Everything had been great, so why was this happening now?

“I’m not sayin’ you ‘owe me one’ or anything, but I did just convince your mother to let me come here instead of her, so… you’re welcome.” George plopped down on the bench beside Bucky and leaned back with his arms crossed. Bucky glanced at him for a second before looking back at his phone.

“Hey, dad.” Had he teased too much about her mugshot? He knew he should have told Sam not to send it to him. A ten-dollar bill appeared on top of his phone. Bucky blinked and looked at his dad with a confused face.

“For mowin’.” Bucky raised a brow.

“You don’t hafta pay me for mowin’.”

“Ya sure?” Bucky nodded and George quickly snatched the money back up and shoved it into his back pocket. “It’s your mom’s ten dollars, anyways. So, free money for me.” Bucky chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“How was movin’?” Bucky locked his phone and set it on the bench in between them. George sighed and stretched his legs out.

“You know how your mom and sister are when they’re stressed.” Bucky chuckled.

“That good, huh?” George crossed his eyes while softly shaking his head.

“They wouldn’t even let me tell my best jokes! Becca lectured me the whole car ride there on things I could and could not say to her new roommates.” Bucky stretched and crossed his arm, his flannel tightening against his biceps.

“Can’t really blame her for that. Your jokes embarrass everyone.” George pushed Bucky’s shoulder, making Bucky burst out laughing.

“You little shit…” Bucky laughed harder and repositioned himself on the bench. Bucky sighed as his laughter died out and watched the stray black cat chase a bird across the yard. 

It’s his own fault. He started leaving food out for him two years ago, so it was no wonder he stayed around. But, then again, Bucky hadn’t seen a single mouse since he showed up…. George cleared his throat, “So, Sarah called your mom last weekend.” Bucky sighed in the back of his throat. “She said Y/N looked good, that they talked and caught up.”

“Yeah, they did. I saw her Friday when she got into town. We talked yesterday. About everything.” George uncrossed his arms and turned towards Bucky.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed. “It went good, or… I thought it went good. We were gonna have lunch today, but she cancelled and she hasn’t responded to any of my texts or calls, so…. I don’t know.” George sighed and rubbed Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Can I ask ya something without you getting mad at me?” Bucky didn’t respond, so George took that as the go-ahead. “Do– Are you sure you still wanna be with her?”

“I…” It’d been one of the first questions Bruce ever asked him. Do you still wanna be married to your wife, ‘cause you love her, or because you don’t know any different? “I do. I still wanna make it work, as fucked up as that sounds.”

George sighed, “It’s not fucked up, it’s…. Love is fucking confusing as it is.”

“Yeah.” Bucky’s phone buzzed and he quickly looked at it, hoping it was you answering his texts. His shoulders dropped. Clint.

Barton: Do you know why Y/N’s at the house crying in her bedroom?? 

Barnes: Is she okay? 

Barton: I mean, she’s crying, but other than that she seems fine.

Barnes: Can you find out what’s wrong? She won’t answer me. 

Barnes: Maybe I can come and see her and we can talk?

“Everything alright?” Bucky looked at his dad and chewed on his lip.

“I… don’t know.” George studied his son for a few minutes, trying to decide what would help him most.

George groaned softly and stood up, “C’mon. Let’s go get somethin’ to eat.”

“Dad, I’m not–”

“Fine, watch me eat, then.” Bucky wasn’t going win this one. He checked his phone one last time before following George to his truck. “Do ya think mom will make us lunch, too?”

“Dad, that has literally never worked.”

“Ya never know, James.” Bucky raised a brow at him, “Zip it and buckle your seatbelt.” Bucky rolled his eyes and did as he was told. Maybe he could convince Dad to stop at Clint and Nat’s to check on you….

“Oh, boys, just the people I wanted to see,” Sarah wiped her hands dry and Steve and Bucky stood semi-patiently in the doorway to the basement. They had only two levels left until they beat the video game completely, and Sarah was only slowing them down.

“Yeah, mom?”

“A new family just moved in a few houses down, and there’s a girl who’s your age. Why don’t you go introduce yourselves.” Bucky and Steve groaned.

“But, mom…” She gave him a pointed look, and he sighed. “Fine. Bucky let’s go.” Both boys grumbled and put on their shoes by the front door.

“Why do we even hafta? We don’t even play with girls.” Bucky just wanted to play the dang game. He’d looked up a hint last night, and he was hoping that would help them win.

“Yeah, you tell my mom that.” They sighed and rode their bikes down the street to where the moving truck was parked. Bikes were dropped unceremoniously in the front yard as they followed the sidewalk to the front door. 

“You knock.”

Steve scoffed, “No, you.” They both stared at each other before quickly doing rock-paper-scissors. Bucky grumbled after losing right away.

“Best two outta three.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake.” Another round and Bucky still didn’t win. Steve grinned smugly as Bucky knocked three times on the door.

“Shut up, jerk.”

You peeked through the curtain and noticed the bikes in the yard first. What? You went to the door, cautiously opening it up. Two boys stood in front of you with equally cautious faces.

“Hello?” The blond boy grinned and stuck out his hand.

“Hi. I’m Steve, and this is Bucky,” Bucky picked his hand up in a short wave, “My mom told us to come say ‘hi’, ‘cause I guess you’re the same age as us.” 

“I’m Y/N.” Steve noticed your face stayed scrunched in confusion. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I… Why are you guys here so early?” You only were awake this early during the school year, not on summer vacation. Bucky laughed.

“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine in the mornin’…?” You blinked at the brown-haired boy. Who’s this guy?

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Steve and Bucky both choked on air.

“What?! No!”

“Yeah, not surprised.” Bucky’s cheeks were on fire as Steve doubled over in laughter. You stared back at him, very tactfully hiding a grin. Bucky pushed Steve, his laughter only subsiding slightly. Steve wiped the tears from his eyes and stood straight.

“Wanna come to my house? We’re playin’ a game.”

“What game?”

“Spyro. We’ve beat almost every level! We only have, like, three more and we’ll beat the whole game!” You smiled.

“Okay! Wait here and I’ll tell my mom.” Steve nodded and you shut the door to go change and let your mom know you were gonna leave. Bucky couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Steve! What the heck are you doing?! A girl can’t hang out with us!”

Steve’s brows pinched, “Why not? I like her.” Bucky scoffed.

“Yeah, ‘cause she didn’t make fun of you!” Steve rolled his eyes.

“So, it woulda been fine if she said that to me?”

“No…”

“You hesitated.”

“Did not!” Bucky exhaled, frustrated with his friend at the moment. “She doesn’t get to play any levels. She just gets to watch.” 

“She can play a level or two if she wants to, Buck! Jeez…” The door opened again and you were dressed in jean shorts and a turquoise t-shirt. You smiled.

“She said it was fine!” Steve smiled and led the trio to the bikes, where your face dropped. “Oh, uh, I don’t have a bike.” Steve shrugged.

“That’s fine. Buck’s got pegs on his so you can just ride on the back.” Your eyebrows pinched skeptically and you slowly looked at “Buck”. He seemed less than thrilled. He sighed and picked up his red bike and walked it to the street. Steve got on his bike and waited for you to get on Bucky’s.

“I don’t know how ‘ta…”

“How ‘ta what?” Bucky glanced at you and saw you chewing on your lip, staring at the pegs on his bike. “It’s not as scary as it looks,” his voice was gentler, like how it was when Steve had his panic attacks at school and needed help calming down. “Let me get on first, then I’ll help you.”

Morning become night and Sarah had told you and Bucky it was time to go home for the day. You had grown on Bucky, but only a little! He still hadn’t forgotten what you’d said.

“Are you guys doing that again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, probably. We might go to the pool, too.” You hummed and walked unhurriedly back to your house. “You can come if you want?” You looked at him eagerly.

“Yeah?” Half of Bucky’s mouth pulled into a grin.

“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” You smiled and stood in your driveway under the streetlight. “Well, I gotta get home ‘fore my mom starts lookin’ for me. I can pick you up tomorrow morning?”

“Okay!”

“Is 8:30 too early?” You shook your head quickly. “Alright. I’ll be here.” You nodded and bounded up to your door and turned to wave goodbye to him.

“Bye, Bucky!” He got on his bike and rode past the house.

“Bye, Sunshine!” Your cheeks heated up and you hid your grin as you came inside. 

Maybe this new town wouldn’t be so bad.

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[thecoolsquirrel]

Cradlesona

Cradlesona #2

Credits to @lovingsiriusoswald ~!

Basic Knowledge

Name: Kat, soon to be silver/6 of spades

Birthday: 4/20

Age: 27

Height: 5′7 or 174cm

Physical appearance :

Hair: black,thigh length hair, usually tied up in on thick braid,

Eyes:Black

Skin: Tan skin,

Accessories:

An engagement ring on her finger, blue rectangle hair clips, heart shaped golden earrings, a gun holster

Social:

personality: Bold, a flirt, is a 100% straight but would 100% pin a close girl friend, actually really insecure it usually shows when she starts making jokes, sarcastic, blunt, once she starts becoming better friends with someone her awful jokes/sarcasm starts showing

Affliction: Her dad built her a little house next to his, would move once mousie and mousse get married, was going to live at the black army hq but multiple times was called out for wanting to stay at a place with mostly guys

Relationships:

Mousse altas: Oh boy, they argue a bunch of mousie, though kat believes that they could actually be friends, and that he can protect her, but just to get under his skin she bickers with him, would totally threaten anyone who talks bad about mousse though just cause hes mousies fiance, they actually once got into a heated fight and kat yelled at him differently then how she usually does earning a slap from mousie (thats gonna be a comic/fanfic tho) also laughs at how shes like a couple inches taller then him 

Mousie altas: BEST FRIEND OMG I LOVE YOU, ehem, she loves her and would die for her, loves all her treats, and if she doesnt she still eats them but doesnt ask for seconds, brings snacks over all the damn time, compliments everywhere,likes picking her up, she honestly cried when mousie said she was engaged (out of happy tears maybe?) *kat holding someone from the collar* "kat all they said was i looked like a kid.." "EXACTLY" after a fight (wich happens every blue moon) mousie finds kat at a bar and has to pick her up "LITTLE MOUUUSEE~!"  "hm?.." "IM SO SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU CAN YOU FORGIVE ME PLEASE?" when they were at school kat was into lots of sports and whenever she lost mousie would be there to comfort her, i would say ranting buddies but more like kat rants and mousie listens

Harr silver: "damn" met him on one of those days mousie and herself got into a argument, kat went out into the forest to train were she found it starting to rain, her wanting to go back to hq she left, CRAP, lost, loki found her blah blah blah "hey wanna stay with me?" "not really-" "..." " i see that you wernt ASKING" but then saw harr and almost fell on her face "OH-" one of their convos, "who are you?" "uhh kat whatever your last name is" "!" "NO REGRETS" they didnt see each other for a bit after that but once saw him again to fight amon and noticed that he knew sirius, went up to sirius the next day like "dude i didnt know you had friends outside the army, ANYWAYS WHO IS HE?" honestly blessed sirius for being her wingman after the battle with amon but DIDNT LIKE SIRIUS when harr and she was actually dating and he would try to give him pick up lines or somethin, this boy, she flirts with him a whole bunch, she acts all smooth about it and stuff but once shes done with like two sentences she makes weird giddy noises with her face red matching harrs, harr does anything "YOUR DOING GREAT SWEETIE" harr once made her a flower crown and she may or totally did cry, took her a little bit to say i love you like mousie she wanted it to be romantic and jazz but she probably said it while huggin him like "i love you so much" they both froze loki"OMG IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO SAY IT OM-" totally knew when he was proposing cause of either loki and also how can you not he asked her out for a date and he was fidgiting for every second of it, THEY BOTH CRIED WHEN HE PROPOSED, the next day  SHE NYOOMED OVER TO HER BROTHER BUT COULDNT GET A SINGLE DANG WORD OUT SO SHE KINDA WAS JUST THERE FACE RED TEARS STREAKING DOWN LIKE "ISAFEFYOUAINTKGOLSAFNANDHE DIKFILOVEEE HIMOGSG"

Loki: "oh hes kinda clingy but i guess hes kinda neet" after noticing that hes basically harrs son "OH F ME" kinda warmed up to him one day when she was laying with harr sge kinda was just like " your son- i mean loki is a constant on heat cat" loud coughing Red Army:

Blanc: "hey can i have an other slice of the carrot cake its really good!" blanc"????" oliver".... she cant visit no more" boom thats their relationship

Lancelot kingsley: After all that she and it was actuallly amon who was behind everything her reacting kinda was like "oh dang, OK COME HERE LET ME SHOW SOME LOVE" honestly just wants to be friends with him from all the burdens he had are they friends now? "more like acquaintances but im working on it!, sirius and sometimes harr are helping me on trying to help him open up"

Jonah clemence: ok so if she was going to try friending lance shes gonna HAVE to be on the good side with jonah, brought him macaroons from mousies cafe and told him she knows luka and so that was a good start, she sometimes gifts him lukas desserts. are they friends? "i would like to believe so! his tsun side is kinda, something, but when he actually lets those walls fall hes quite nice! right now were trying to get luka talk to him"

Edgar bright: "SKETCHY" shoot hes sketchy little thing but he HAS TREATS, likes his ducks, but honestly think hes really awesome with sword fighting, she asked luka about him and he said that hes "aright" so she takes his word for it are they friends? "yes?"

Kyle ash: asked if he can teach her some basic stuff for dressing wounds, noticed hes also a light weight YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, two drunks being dragged from the collar out of the bar and just laying out infront of the bar like rats, totally calls him out for him saying "Eat healthy" but then he drinks, tried picking him up it actually worked! are they friends?: "HECK YA HES COOL!"

Zero: "ok what the heck happened to you so i know who to murder-" actually started to warm up to edgar when she noticed that he was friends with zero, asked if she can pick him up, it didnt work, asked if he can pick her up, DID WORK, when she was in the dumps cause mousie had work zero gave her a lolipop, ".. omg your a treasure too.." Zero"what?"

Black Army:

Ray blackwell: CAPE BUDDIES! actually really looks up to him and thinks hes super cool! she joined a a few months before him, totally talked to him like a kid but when he became king she kinda was like "Crap waIT WHAT?" asks (she begs) if he can take her when he sees the ally cats, they bond over the kats, though she finds it annoying when they shed on her black cape

Sirius oswald: "who ever thinks im kats dad raise your hand- KAT PUT YOUR HAND DOWN" they knew each other in school, or more like she saw him when they were in school and she just stared at his bangs that looked like they were cut with a lawn mower IMSORRY, shes either on his side defending him from the brats like a proud mother hen, or she is the brat, shes like "no thats not smart" next day shes doing that thing, sirius is on edge around her just cause she can turn on him whenever she feels like it either shes on his side or not lol

Luka clemence: thought he was a girl "wow your really pretty." turns out hes a guy " WOW YOUR A REALLY PRETTY GUY" took a while for them to actually become friends but they got there! praises his cooking/desserts like if its the best thing on this planet COUGH it is COUGH, she gets up around the same time as luka does just so she can make it to the hq on time for breakfast, sometimes asks if they can spar if she catches him training.

Seth hyde: "are you gay?" insert shocked seth face, he helps braid her hair since she cant get it right i mean SHE CANT SEE BEHIND HER HEAD, when she came home one day from a date with harr, harr braided in flowers and seth felt betrayed cause 1: why didnt he think of that and 2:" KAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO BRAID YOUR HAIR WHA" he picked her out some dresses she wants to wear them so badly but doesnt want to one day look like she has somewhere important to be when shes just going on to get fruit, and plus she usally just wears her uniform, tried picking him up, didnt work, he "tried" picking her up " SETH WHY AM I TOUCHING THE SEALING"

Fennir godspeed: "FENNIIIIRRRRR YOOO WHATS GOOD MY GUY" REALLY LIKES TALKING TO HIM, like an older brother to her, he was actually the one who gifted her the gun holster+ a pistol since she took interest in his duel ones, though she only got one since she has shaky hands and needs to hands to steady her hands, tells him hes chicken for not eating his tomatoes, he still doesnt eat them,

Family:(will go in more detail in fanfic or backstory) Parents, two older brothers, two younger sisters Parents: AWESOME, LOVES THEM A WHOLE BUNCH!? Oldest brother: they were kinda close at childhood but drifted away when getting older Second oldest brother: BEST FRIEND, tells him everything, actually joined the blackarmy cause he did youngest sisters:was and still kinda is jealous of them but got over it and trying to fix their relationship

Miscellaneous

Shes secretly really insecure and laughs it off, but is honestly week sometimes and just cries and so shes just smiling while crying and in her head shes just like "Ah yes here i am making everyone around me uncomfortable" is also a stress eater but mousie thinks shes just enjoying the sweets, got bullied as a kid and jokes about it, had lots of friends but then they just left half the time so shes used to quick friends, likes fruit, if you gift her a fruit salad she will probably cry if you cant tell already she crys alot , sometimes she annoys people that are her friends and feels like traasssh is such a light weight its not even funny, when she was younger she was like "oh ya im not going to be a light weight imma be like my dad!" first drink "DAAD IM A LIGHT HECK" 

Snippit of a backstory- TO BE CONTINUED

Quick doodles of mousie and kat

[gingercullenboy]

Movie Commentary Monday: Episode 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first episode of Movie Commentary Monday (or as i call MCM, which sounds ridiculous by the way) where I express my thoughts on a movie while desperately trying to be funny (and usually fail).

There will be dozens of side comments in brackets because I talk too much, sorry in advance.

This week’s movie is:

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Directed by: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writing Credits: Erin Cardillo (screenplay&story), Dana Fox (screenplay) & Katie Silberman (screenplay)

Stars: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine, Priyanka Chopra, Betty Gilpin, Brandon Scott Jones

Summary: A young woman disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy.

(thanks IMDb)

Now, buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a loooooong ride. Let’s get down to business!

(this isn’t a Mulan reference)

Why is the Mom so bitter about happy endings? I bet she has seen things...

They don’t make movies for girls like us. 

THIS!!! LINE!!! IS!!! SO!!! IMPORTANT!!! 

That single sentence just basically summarized the entire history of Hollywood and you can’t argue with me on this. The evidence is there (sorry i’m bitter like mom) (i’m full of rage like younger john mulaney)

Natalie’s (Rebel Wilson) apartment is a mess and is so tiny, it’s like screaming YOUR FUTURE HOUSE at me, it’s unbelievable

Fucking finally, a realistic view of New York; smelly, crowded, and filth everywhere (not that i could ever know, i don’t live there but i’ve seen metropolitans before)

“STOP THE CART WITH YOUR BODY” WTFFF I’M CRYING THAT’S SO RUDE

Ok, Natalie’s a nobody at the workplace, even though she’s a fricking architect. UNREALISTIC TO ME

That co-worker and office manager can choke, that’s all I’m gonna say

Ohmygod, Whitney (Betty Gilpin) is so cute, I’ve seen her 10 secs in and I already love her (lovey dovey characters are always my faves)

JOSH (Adam Devine) IS AMAZING, ADORABLE DORK, PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

LIAM HEMSWORTH’S AMERICAN ACCENT GOT ME SH00K!!! He just said “Goddamn it” and I am already hooked

Who puts whipped cream in a coffee? ME, BITCH

I PUT WHIPPED CREAM IN MY COFFEE BECAUSE BLACK COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT, SORRY THAT I’M NOT TOUGH AS YOU

Natalie says nice guy with a nice life and it... kinda bothers me. It’s a reaaaally generic expression and a bit insulting if you think about it bc if you don’t fit that person’s standards of being nice with having a nice life, it discourages you (in this case, you=man). So when Josh said “I’m a nice guy with a nice life” I thought ‘Of course you are’ bc he is in my standards. What I’m trying to say is that rom-coms have stereotypes on not only women but also men. Yes, it is sad.

Awwww Josh has a crush on Natalie *wipes happy tears* but she thinks he’s looking at the model billboard LMAO SAME, NAT

I’m so done (but it’s also so relatable, bc i’m like Nat but with less cynicism)

WHITNEY’S DESKTOP OMG

PAWSITIVE VIBES???? I WANNA MARRY HER SO WE CAN WATCH ROM-COMS WITH CATS ON OUR LAPS ALL DAY TOGETHER

Natalie was on the subway and a stranger waved at her. Then he tried to mug her. Then she knocked herself over. My mom always says don’t talk to strangers and I see why. I’m 22, if you’re wondering *clears throat* Moving on...

OH MY GOD SHE WOKE UP WITH THE MAKE-UP ON AND A NICELY DONE HAIR WITH FLOWERS AND STRAWBERRY DRINK ON THE SIDE, I CAN’T-

Oh, hello Mr. Morningstar... *wiggles eyebrows* (quick note, i don’t actually watch Lucifer but i really like Tom Ellis)

She just ripped her IV and blood didn’t spill everywhere, yeah this is a rom-com alright 

She’s dressed from lost and found and she looks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman-

NO WAIT, THE ENTIRE SETTING HAS CHANGED

HOLY SHIT ‘A THOUSAND MILES’ BY VANESSA CARLTON IS STARTED TO BE PLAYED BY A RANDOM GUY ON A BIKE AND HE PLAYS IT FROM THE STEREO ON HIS BIKE I’M CACKLING

ENTER LIAM, HE LOOKS SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE (i’m a thirsty hoe, your suspicions are correct)

What the fuck does beguiling mean? *checks dictionary* oh, okay *is weirded out now*

HE’S AUSSIE NOW, THEY’VE DONE IT, HE’S KEEPING THE ACCENT, AND I’M HAPPY AGAIN

...Birds form a heart while flying... Uhhh... Strawberries and champagne in the limo... Rich as fuck, my poor ass can’t relate

NATALIE’S STREET HAS CHANGED, TOO

He’s giving her flowers already? Ok- NO WAIT

HE JUST WROTE HIS NUMBER ON MULTIPLE FLOWER PETALS AND HANDED TO HER, IS HE FOR REAL LMAO

“But there’s only one of you, so...” Well, this doesn’t change the fact that there are millions of ways to order the numbers, you dumbass (why is he like this)

Her apartment... Every Millenials’ dream

And... A gay neighbor/best friend who acts like an over-feminine gay (which is also a stereotype)

So, I’ll count every rom-com trope I’ve seen in 22 mins *counts her fingers* So far, I have seven tropes

The Big Presentation (eight)

Unconventional workplace which looks like a Google office (nine)

Nat is the star architect now (ten)

Rival bitchy colleague (eleven) (WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITNEY, THOUGH) (SHE’S MY SENSITIVE WIFE) (oh, she looks hot)

They gave like, four other tropes in two mins and it doesn’t feel like rushed at all *salutes respectively*

The setting change is so... Like, you cannot miss it, it’s sweet and makes you feel all giddy inside, it’s so lovely, so rom-com like (does that make sense to you?)

OH PRIYANKA, SHE JUST TURNED AND I’M LIKE “Oh I’m fucked”

“Josssssssh”

Natalie keeps falling (twelve)

“MY LIFE IS A ... ... ROMANTIC COMEDY!” “AND IT’S ... PG-13!″ EVERYONE STARTED DANCING BEHIND HER I’M HOLLERING 

The subway map behind her is shaped in a heart, lovey dovey couples everywhere... And shE’S GONNA JUMP ONTO A TRAIN??? THIS GOT DARK ALL OF A SUDDEN

Officer Hansom *facepalms*

She threw the flower petals and guess what? THE NUMBERS FELL DOWN IN THE CORRECT ORDER, WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN HAHAHA (thirteen)

Y’ello

Y’ELLO

Y’E LL O

IS THIS HOW AUSSIES ANSWER THE PHONE, AUSSIE MUTUALS PLEASE RESPOND

BLAKE (Liam Hemsworth) IS SO ADORABLE I’M ROOTING FOR EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE 

Dress up montage... Yeah- Oh wait, they cut it out what the hell fvygbuhnj I WANT MY DRESS UP MONTAGE, GIVE IT TO MEEE

This is some fancy first date though... Also leaving 100 bucks tip doesn’t justify breaking in to a store I guess??? Seems like the law has no function in rom-coms lmao (fourteen)

BUTTER PECAN??? HOW OLD ARE YOU, 200 OR SOMETHING??? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN

The rain... You know what’s coming after- Ah, and they kissed *giggles uncontrollably* YES!!! (fifteen)

THEY CAN’T HAVE SEX BC IT’S PG-13 (liam’s abs, though) *bi scream*

Her apartment makes me cry, it’s so beautiful (ok i’ll stop counting from now on bc i cannot keep up anymore)

Also the romantic tension between Natalie and Josh................ I have no words

Isabella (Priyanka Chopra) calls Josh ‘Mush’ and it’s so f-king cringey, I swear to God sxrdctfvygu

STOP OVERSELLING NEW YORK, WE KNOW IT’S NOT THAT GOOD

I can talk about Blake for five hours, he’s so fucking funny lmao

Donny (Brandon Scott Jones) is such a gay sidekick, he comes out of nowhere and talks weirdly but he makes me laugh so I’ll give him a pass

NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE, NATALIE’S GONNA STOP ISABELLA&JOSH’S WEDDING

That musical scene is everything, and Natalie hits that high note H AR D

GET IT, GIRL

Blake............ no-

I ROOTED FOR YOU, WE ALL ROOTED FOR YOU, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT-

Oh my, he’s a certified douchebag, I should’ve guessed, I’m so disappointed in myself 

Unexpected wisdom coming from Donny who had no function to the story other than appearing beside Natalie at random times (again, rom-com trope) 

BUT at least he made her realised who matters to her the most

Slow motion running!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Her boobs are like sxrdctfvyg SHAKING AS SHE’S RUNNING ESXRDCTFVYB (as someone who has big breasts, i relate to that so hard) 

“Yoga Ambassador. Yoga. Ambassador.” “Ambassadors are for countries, not for streching.” Dang, Nat!!!

She finally realised she loves herself! Awww, that’s so sweet and empowering and I can’t get enough of this!!!! Yes, to love someone else first you should love yourself!

Oh she crashed the car and went back to reality

Another hot doctor???? Wait, I’m confused- No, false alarm, she’s back and her real doctor is tired, is also swimming through lawsuits LMFAO

She pulled her IV and blood SPILLED EVERYWHERE AS IT SHOULD BE, THANK GOD

I’m glad that she’s happy with what she’s got and she didn’t decide to keep what she’s been doing but instead, tried to take care of herself, it’s such a good message to young girls and I cannot praise this enough

PLOT TWIST, DONNY IS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY AND HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS ALSO A WEED DEALER OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THE TWIST SO MUCH 

Natalie!!! Is!!! Confident!!! Now!!! I’m literally living for this *throws hearts to the screen*

OH MY WIFE IS BACK, HI WHITNEY I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SUMMER WIFE I MISSED YOU

Nat stormed into that meeting and she’s. on. fireeee

Real Blake is as jerk as ever, no surprise

Using parking lots as metaphors would never cross my mind but ok I guess???

Fuck, he said “What does beguiling mean?” I’M LOST FOR WORDS, THIS MOVIE SXDCTFVYGU

JOSH HAS BEEN LOOKING AT NATALIE FOR THE WHOLE TIME, NOT THE SWIMSUIT MODEL, WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT???

ps. me and probably everyone else except Nat lol

EVERYONE SINGS

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, EVERYONE SINGS AND IT’S SO GOOD

LIAM PLAYS THE SAX HOLY SHIT HE’S SO HOT I’M GONNA FAINT

Priyanka with that rose.......... Consider me dead, thank you

“It’s hot as fuck” tcfyvgubh probably true

Overall, I would give this movie 7/10 because of the message. Plot is nicely done and I got see basically every single rom-com tropes. At total, I counted 23 tropes I guess? If I could look every minor detail, I would count more but I won’t get into it that much for now. (i’m running late to a meeting with friends so i have to cut short)

I loved the production design, setting felt like I’m in a classic rom-com movie and characters were written accordingly. Every actor in the movie has fit perfect to me. I especially loved Priyanka and Liam because 1) I’ve never seen any of her movies and 2) It’s been a long time since I watched a Liam Hemsworth movie (i only watched hunger games, so you think about it lmao)

I guess that’s about it! I have a list for the next weeks’ movies but if you have a request then tell me so, I will watch your recommendations first! I appreciate comments; if you have something to add, please do. I will read every single one of them.

See you next week!

[loverontheleft]

Ready to Leap (17.2)

AU with B as a band teacher and reader as an English teacher. Fluff and smut. Chapters 1-16 can be found on my Masterlist.

Brendon x reader.

Warnings: language, dirty talk, sex, I don’t even know at this point I’m so tired I didn’t proofread fight me

Word count: 4.2k

-||-

“You can shower. I wanna have you on my fingers and lips all day, reminding me who I have coming home with me at night, who I’m gonna make love to until we both pass out.”

His words are echoing in your head the rest of the morning, and you’re jolted out of your thoughts by a knock on the door. The kids jump a little too, they were fifteen minutes into their Silent Sustained Writing, each of them enthusiastically, some more facetiously than others, recalling their favorite day of school. You cross to the door and open it, only half-surprised to see the floral arrangement of pink peonies - he had hinted he’d do something like this as he leaned against his bathroom counter, watching you shower.

Tyler again, with a knowing smile. “Ms. Milton, these were delivered for you.” There’s a chorus of “oooohs” from behind you and you grimace, but gratefully accept the bouquet. Tyler waves to Jessica behind you and you shut the door with a grin.

“Thank you Tyler, she’ll see you later.” You turn, slipping the card from its holder. Your fingers toy with it, turning it over and over. To open it or not open it? Your students have five more minutes of writing; you have time. You slide a finger under the flap and lift, pulling the creamy cardstock out.

“Don’t let your students talk you into reading this out loud. I’m thinking about our last kiss, the way you taste-“ you flip the card over and close your eyes. You know exactly what kiss he’s talking about, and it’s certainly not innocent enough and you know your students would pick up on that. “-and I can’t wait to see you tonight. Don’t panic. It’ll be fine. I love you.”

“What does it say?”

You’re still staring at the card so you’re not sure who asked. “Hm? Oh. Nothing.”

Eric grins. “They sent you flowers and a blank card?” Brian nudges him and they mutter something to each other.

“Gentlemen, knock it off. No, it’s not blank. They’re from Mr. Urie and - stop,” you point at Jessica with a knowing smile. “Stop or I won’t tell you anything else.” You wait and they all sit back, eyes wide, clearly intrigued. “Why are you not this engaged with Coleridge? Never mind. Mr. Urie and I have been seeing each other for some time now and are official and exclusive and labeled and whatever else I can say to make it clear he’s my boyfriend.” You hold your breath and wait. The class processes this for a moment before erupting. Some are cheering and a few of the girls look enraptured, Jessica is asking a million questions, and Eric is handing Brian a twenty. “You bet on us?” You ask both of them, a little incredulous, and they nod shamelessly. “What was the bet?”

Brian slips the cash in his pocket. “I said you’d be together before homecoming. Eric said after homecoming but before prom.”

You just smile to yourself and hold up both hands. “Okay, I can’t dedicate anymore class time to this today; I know you have a ton of questions so just write them down and turn them in, l’ll answer the appropriate ones tomorrow instead of giving you a quiz on today’s material; your focus is going to be shot anyway.” They cheer again and every pen is flying as they scrawl down questions. You shudder to think what some of them will be.

When the period ends and second block kids come in, it’s clear that the phone tree has been at work and he’s told his first block; several of them are already asking questions. You make the same deal with them in the attempts of keeping them on task, but they’re definitely more preoccupied with this news. At least they’re all excited, you reason, recognizing that he is definitely the hottest male teacher at the school and more than just the freshmen in band think so. You wonder how they took it in class - you both agreed in the car on what to say and both promised to talk to all of your classes. Poor girls, you muse, as you pace the room checking annotations. Having their hearts broken so early in the morning.

It takes everything you have not to dash out of your room and down to his the moment the bell rings, but you force yourself to slow down. You wait until your room is empty and then leave, keeping yourself and your pace in check. You knock on his door and he opens it, a wide smile on his face.

“Milton darling, light of my life, love of my heart,” he murmurs, closing the door behind you and kissing you softly. “How did your group take it?”

You snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arms around him tightly and tucking your head under his chin. “They were excited. A lot of questions. I told them to write down their questions and I’d answer the appropriate ones, so you and I have a date tonight sorting questions,” you grin. “And yours? How were the freshmen?”

He looks solemn. “Mostly great, but the freshmen girls cried a little.”

You fight back a peal of laughter and look up at him seriously. “Are they going to be okay?”

He shrugs. “Probably. Let me know if they do or say anything to you though.” He pulls away from the embrace to lead you into his office. He drops onto the couch and you collapse beside him, sighing contentedly when he drops his arm around your shoulder. “What’s next on your agenda for planning?” He asks, and you groan.

“I actually have a ton to do, I just wanted to come see you,” you admit and he squeezes you gently before standing.

“Let’s get you back to your room then,” he says with a soft smile. He extends and hand and you take it, letting him pull you to your feet and into him for another hug. He breathes in the scent of your hair and runs a hand over your back. After a moment, he pulls away and takes your hand again, leading you to the hallway and then to your room.

“Feels good to hold your hand like this,” you murmur. “Not having to hide entirely.”

He nods, and once you reach your classroom, he brushes his lips over yours - just barely touching. “I just want everyone to know how I feel about you,” he whispers, and you lean up against your doorframe, holding both of his hands. “But you said I couldn’t rent out that billboard, right?” He grins and you shake your head, laughing. “So I’ll hold your hand and tell every person I meet about my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend and I’ll show them photos of you and us until they beg me to stop - which they won’t, because you, m’dear, are breathtaking.” He grins, and you roll your eyes, embarrassed. “No honey, don’t roll your eyes. Accept it.” You’re still in your doorway and all you want to do is drag him into your room and shut the door so you can kiss him properly, but you agreed, the school rendezvous would stop to keep you both safe. He must see it in your eyes because he licks his lower lip and he must be able to taste you because he gives the quietest, shortest moan of pleasure and it sends waves of desire through you.

“Dang it Urie, you know I want you,” you hiss and he smiles innocently.

“Call it four more hours to be safe,” he tells you, “and you’ll be home with me and we can play however you want.”

You grin. “What if I don’t want to play at home, what if I want you to take me out now that we’re official, or at least officially out at school?”

He laughs a little. “We can do that too. Whatever you want, Milton. I’ll make it happen.” You squeeze both of his hands and he kisses your forehead chastely. “Go get work done. It’s an abbreviated practice today, so I’ll come to you at the final bell.” You nod and he smiles once more and leaves you in your doorway, watching him walk away.

-||-

You’re sitting at your normal spot in the lounge, picking at the grilled chicken he packed for both of you, distracted by his promise of whatever you want, when Gina sails into the lounge and drops into the seat across from you - her normal spot. “So Ms. Milton,” she says with a grin. “I heard something from a student today.” You look up and she is practically vibrating with enthusiasm. “I heard,” she draws it out, “that you and Urie are a thing.”

Jennifer walks in and adds, “oh yeah, I heard that too!”

Helen turns the corner. “Heard what?”

“Y/n and Urie are dating.” Jennifer is giddy and Helen nods.

“Yep, a freshman girl was crying about it at the beginning of 3rd block.”

Gina leans forward, jabbing the air with her fork. “Spill.”

You shrug. “What do you want to know?” There’s a pause as your coworkers consider.

Finally, Gina speaks. “When, where, how, and how often?” You blink, obviously thrown by the last question. She huffs indignantly. “When did he ask, where did he ask, how did he ask, and how often do you make out? The man is gorgeous.”

You laugh a little. “We’ve been together for…” you try to calculate. “About two months I think, maybe a little more. And we kissed on the band tower and it just sort of rolled from there, we just fell naturally into things. And I plead the fifth on the last question.”

Helen shakes her head. “Nuh uh. We want details. We are old married women-“ she waves down the others’ protests; “and the man is more than gorgeous and you’ve kept this a secret this long so we deserve details.”

The others agree and Gina smirks. “How often Milton?” You feel yourself blush and you know she can read it on your face. “Oh my god, you’ve slept with him.” There’s a clamor from everyone else, demanding more and you press both hands to your face, embarrassed. “No no no, we’re not judging,” Gina is quick to reassure. “Hell, some of us are jealous. Just give me this - is he good?”

You can’t help but smile. “Incredible.”

Jennifer groans and stabs at her salad. “You can’t just leave it at that, Richard must be on some speed challenge because we’re over and done in eight minutes and then he’s knocked out, dead asleep.”

You try to not look horrified. You don’t know what you’d do if you only had him for eight minutes. “I mean...he’s just incredible. He’s so good at being in control-“ there’s an outbreak of chatter but Gina waves them down; “-but he’ll just…he’s...I don’t know, I’ve never been with anyone like him before.”

Tracy, who has come in late but has figured out from context, grins. “I’ll be the one to be rude and ask; as the youth say, what that mouth do though?” You blush and she amends. “His, not yours. I’m not interested in the details of what your mouth does, no offense.” She smirks and pops an almond in her mouth. “Well? With the lips on that man…”

You shift in your chair a little. “He is…” you want to say this diplomatically. “He is not a selfish lover; he prefers to give more than receive and he is quite, quite good at what he gives.” You fold your hands primly and the others sit silently for a moment before the questions explode again.

Gina takes your side finally. “Okay okay okay, you hussies, you’ve gotten your scandalous sex details, now let the girl eat her lunch.” You smile at her gratefully. “She obviously needs to keep her strength up, if she’s receiving as often as I think she is.” She finishes with a smirk of her own. So much for being on your side. You don’t really mind; they don’t mean any harm; they’re just curious. But as open and free you are with Brendon in your bed, you’re as reserved and cautious outside of it. You’ve never been one to swap sex stories, and these women seem to want more than you’re willing to give up. They take Gina’s direction though and eat their own lunch while asking much more socially appropriate questions, like where your first date was, for the rest of the lunch period.

The lunch bell rings and you head back to your room, desperate to get more work done so you can focus on him tonight. When you approach your desk, there’s a single, long-stemmed pink rose resting across your keyboard with a card under it. “First, you forgot to lock your door, honey. Second, be as productive as you can so I can have you all to myself tonight; I have big ideas. Third, you need a vase for your classroom; I’m going to make a habit of sending you flowers. Let’s get a vase soon. I love you.” You smile, brushing your fingertips over the petals and sigh happily.

“So you like it?”

“Jesus Christ!” You shriek and drop the rose, and he’s crossing the room, apologizing, taking you in his arms, kissing the top of your head.

“That wasn’t nice, I’m sorry, love.” He’s smoothing a hand over your back, and holding you tight.

“That,” you gasp, “wasn’t only not nice; that was mean.” But you’re laughing a little so he knows you’re not too upset.

“You’re right, I’m sorry baby.” He sits you on your desk and steps between your legs, kissing your forehead. “We’ll do whatever you want tonight.”

Your eyes narrow. “That was already the deal Urie. I’m gonna need something more.”

He pretends to think. “Something more, hm?” You nod and he grins before biting his lower lip in a way he knows drives you crazy. “Why don’t we see where the night goes, and I’ll let you use your something more whenever you see fit, whether it be tonight or down the road.”

You nod again, crossing your arms. “I want to do something totally strange and out of the ordinary tonight.” He arches an eyebrow and smirks a little. “Not sexually, Urie. As a date.”

He laughs and kisses your cheek. “I can do that. Strange and out of the ordinary and nothing sexual. Got it.”

-||-

“Urie, I need a dress code please.”

He follows you into the closet. “I’m honestly not trying to be difficult when I say I don’t know and that you look gorgeous in anything.” You smile, leaning back against his chest and he wraps his arms around your waist. “So I’ll tell you that I’m wearing dark jeans that could pass for nicer pants as needed and a button-down shirt.”

“Urie, what are we doing?” Your voice is muffled as lean forward and pull your shirt off over your head. He moves his hands up to cup your breasts and his head drops down to your neck.

“I’m not trying to be a pain in the ass when I say I don’t know,” he repeats with a smile against your skin. “But I don’t know.” You’re on the edge and he can tell. “Okay. Have you heard of,” and he pauses for dramatic effect, “the penny date?” You turn to look at him quizzically and shake your head. He beams. “Great. We need to pick a number between-“

“One hundred and thirty-six.”

“-one and fifty…” he gives you his teacher look. “I don’t know if…”

You turn fully in his arms to kiss him firmly. “One hundred. And. Thirty-six.”

He shrugs. “Okay, well, let’s head to the car then. But in an hour, remember this moment.”

You’re settled in the car when you look at him. “You never explained more. What’s the date? Why the number?”

He grins, putting the car in reverse. “We flip a coin to decide which way we turn. And the number picked is the number of times we flip.”

You groan. “I regret some stuff,” you tell him and he laughs. “But we’re sticking with the number,” you say firmly. “We commit.” He takes your hand and smiles.

“We sure do.”

-||-

“Brendon, we’ve been circling this neighborhood for 30 flips.” You sound exhausted. He nods wearily. “But we committed.” You can hear the question in your voice.

“We committed. We’ve got 6 more flips to go, let’s see if we can’t get out of here.”

You nod, squeezing his hand and flipping the coin as you approach a stop sign. “Left.” Silence. Stop sign. “Left.” Silence. Silence. Stop sign. “Right!” You haven’t gotten a right in a while and this is promising. Silence. Stop sign. “Left…” Silence. Stop sign. “Right.” Silence. Silence. Silence. Stop sign. “Left.”

He stops the car and you both start laughing. You’re parked outside a house - or what will be a house once it’s fully built. Right now it’s a frame and some plywood makeshift walls. “Well, this is our date,” he says dead-pan. He turns to you. “We can go get food?”

You point at him playfully. “Only if we get something from a drive thru and come back. We committed.” He notes the address of the closest completed house and you search google for drive thrus near your location. “Sonic?” You suggest and he nods. “Yay! I’ve been craving mozzarella sticks.” You’re wiggling in your seat excitedly and his hand curves over your thigh.

“We don’t have to commit; we can go get real food and go back to our complete house,” he tells you and you give him a surprised look.

“No sir. We’re going back and we’re going to have a wonderful time doing who knows what. I don’t need a fancy formal date to enjoy myself with you, so let’s go get greasy Sonic food and slushies and go see what possibilities that house has.”

Food acquired and GPS on, you’re back at the construction site in twenty minutes. He parks the car and you both get out. You’ve got a carton of mozzarella sticks and a strawberry limeade slush, while he opted for tots and blue raspberry. You interlock arms as you stroll through what would be the door and look around. “Wow,” you whisper, and he nods. It’s unfinished obviously but it’s going to be beautiful when it’s done. You’re standing in what will be a two-story foyer and you can see what you assume is a sunken living room through an opening ahead. You wander around together, trading snacks, sharing sticky, stained-lip kisses, and trying to guess what different rooms will be, decorating as you go. The living room is going to have a great leather sectional, one that you wouldn’t mind getting Brendon naked on so you can ride him. You shake your head a little to clear it before he comes back inside. There’s a dumpster outside so he pitched your empty trash and is back quickly, holding you to him.

“I’d do a soft blue paint in here I think,” he murmurs in your ear when you make it to the master suite. “The windows are set up to let the sunrise in, and it would be really lovely. Carpet or hardwood?” You consider.

“Hardwood is easier to clean but carpet is nicer for the morning...unless we did hardwood with an area rug under the bed. But still - I’m not sure, maybe hardwood?”

He nods thoughtfully. “Do a dark hardwood floor and a pale ceiling to draw the eye upward; then you can have a floor rug in an accent color.” You marvel at him, telling him how good he is at this. “Again, my parents. My mom was big on making places both homey and beautiful. They two, she always said, weren’t mutually exclusive. And my dad let her do what she wanted; he told her she had a vision and he had a checkbook.” Brendon laughs a little and you smile as he leans down and kisses your cheek. “I can’t promise you that kind of financial freedom,” he murmurs, “but you’ll have that kind of love and devotion.”

You melt a little and turn to face him, kissing him softly and moaning a little when his tongue parts your lips. He scoops you up easily and you wrap your legs around him as he presses you against the wall. He deepens the kiss and you tug at his hair, wanting to be closer.

“Let’s keep looking,” he pulls away with a gasp and his words are rough. “Gotta stop teasing myself.” Your feet touch the floor and you continue your exploration of the space. There’s an opening to a room off of the master suite that is too big to be a bathroom or a closet so you take turns guessing. “Sex chamber,” he finally suggests with a smirk. This is for those people who have big stuff like swings and wedges and stuff, things you can’t tuck in a bedside table.”

“Wedges?” You look perplexed.

“Mmmm,” he purrs, pulling you back flush against him and letting his fingers wander down to tease the button on your jeans. “Wedges. Sturdy but comfortable foam wedges that you, m’dear, would rest on instead of a pillow. Depending on the wedge, you’d have a variety of angles for me to fuck or suck you at.” You moan a little when you feel him hard against you and he licks the shell of your ear. “You want one, baby? You want me to be able to get those pretty hips tipped up and good and ready for my tongue or cock, depending on your mood? I’ll buy you one, if that’s what you want.” You nod weakly and his fingers slip down the front of your jeans. You know you’re wet and now he does too - you both let out a sharp moan when he makes contact, fingers sliding against you easily. “Let’s go back to the car,” he suggests lowly, and you nod eagerly.

He opens your door for you and you slide in, but as soon as he’s seated, you’re clambering over the console to straddle him. “You’ve got me so hot Bren, can’t wait any longer.” You kiss him and start grinding against him, delighted to find him still hard for you. “Am I hurting you?” Your voice is soft and he shakes his head, but shifts you over so you’re straddling his thigh, one of yours brushing his erection. You moan and rock against him, and he grabs you by the hair and slips his tongue into your mouth, meeting yours and teasing you. His other hand slips up your shirt and is caressing and cupping your breast, squeezing lightly every now and then; you know it must turn him on because even with his jeans on, you can feel his dick flex against your thigh whenever he gropes you. He tugs your hair a little and you moan, grinding down harder in sloppy circles, the friction working your clit.

“Love seeing you like this, babygirl, knowing you’re gonna come all over my thigh, knowing I drive you wild, knowing you can feel how wild you make me. Wanna be in you, wanna see you come all over me, wanna slip my hand down into those sexy lace panties I watched you put on this morning and get my fingers covered in you, so I can have an appetizer for the ride until I can get you back to our bed and spread you out, get you moaning my name,” he pauses breathing hard and you whimper, bracing yourself on his shoulders to get more leverage. You’re close.

“Wanna come for you,” you tell him, barely able to keep your eyes open as he flexes his thigh under you, making you yelp at the new sensation. “Wanna come all over you,” you practically insist. “Gotta get these pants off, shit,” and you’re mumbling under your breath as his lips close over the pulse point in your neck.

“God babygirl, so good,” he whispers, tugging your hair again. “Leave the pants on, wanna see you come for me, fully clothed.”

You start a slow grind, leaning back a little, giving in to his pull. “Gonna,” you insist. “Oh fuck, Brendon, baby, I can feel it I’m almost - oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” you cry, and he bites your neck; your orgasm only intensifies. “Oh fuck,” you squeal, slumping back against the wheel and making both of you jump when the horn gives a short blast.

“So sexy to watch babygirl, love seeing you come for me.” You’ve moved forward and are resting your head on his shoulder while his hand moves slowly over your back.

He freezes after a minute. “Hey baby?” You make a small noise, acknowledging him. “Remember how I said I’d agree to three conditions with the babygirl thing?” You make another small noise. “Figured out which one I couldn’t agree to,” he says, sounding a little nervous. “Need you to get back in your seat honey.”

You lift your head and your vision is blurred with blue and white flashing lights. “Aren’t you glad we kept your pants on?” He says with an anxious tone.

[mtvswatches]

Crazy Ex Girlfriend 4x08 I’m Not the Person I Used to Be

Stray thoughts

1) OMG I’m Other Rebecca!

2) This looks like a smut fanfic…

…except no one asked for it?

3) OMG!! What is it with Rebecca and shit?

REBECCA: Hey, I'm sorry I stunk up the toity yesterday.

JOSH: Oh, no problem. Made my eyes tear up, but, uh, I needed a good cry.

4) I fucking love when this show goes all meta!

5) And they did it again!!!

HEATHER: How long are you here for?

VALENCIA: For the rest of the series! …of holidays, I mean.

Is this going to be a thing in this episode? Because I love it!!

6) This scene was – in Heather’s words – THE BEST.

Okay, based on your face when you were looking at the guest list, my guesses are we're dealing with a frenemy, a nemesis or an ex. So it's an ex. Wait, no. But you dated Josh all through high school. So you cheated.  Oh, you really cared about this person. Oh, my God, you were in love. And nobody knows. Whoa. This is so juicy. Wait, wait, was it a girl? Oh, it was the first girl. Wait, is she here yet? Have you seen her? Oh, okay. So she's not here yet, but she's on the list. Okay, I am on it, I am gonna figure this all out.

I just love how well they know each other, and even though this is obviously exaggerated and played for laughs, it’s a quite accurate depiction of female friendship. When you really know your friends, it’s quite easy to read them and know what they’re thinking just by looking at their facial expressions.

7) So this is the episode, this is the episode where he gets back? Right? Btw, I nearly died when this happened…

REBECCA: Anyway, am I… I can't believe I'm saying this Am I meant to be with Nathaniel or Josh or both or neither?

VALENCIA: Neither.

HEATHER: Neither.

REBECCA: Right, of course. Because the idea of "meant to be" is a lie perpetuated by Western culture.

VALENCIA: No. You're meant to be with Greg.

HEATHER: Wait, you think that? I totally think that.

VALENCIA: Everyone thinks that.

Seriously, it made me feel so good inside and giddy to hear both of them validate how I FEEL. Yes, Rebecca is meant to be with Greg.

Now I’m getting nervous because I know he’ll show up soon. It is his high school reunion, after all. But “he” won’t be “he”anymore, and I’m not sure if the show will be able to pull off this switcharoo you know? Okay, I have to continue watching, don’t I?

8) I see what you’re doing, show…

REBECCA: Okay, look, the only way the only way… The only way Greg would ever be my "meant to be" is if we were in some sort of sci-fi weird parallel alternate universe where he was just a completely different person.

I swear to god, I just got chills when I heard his voice in the background. I’m not ready for this. I’ve been waiting two years for Greg to be back and yet this wasn’t what I was waiting for? What if I don’t like Greg anymore? I’m scared! Okay, I’m going to hit play again…

9) So here he is…

He does look Greg-ish, I must admit.

So, the idea is that this is how Greg has always looked to everyone but since Rebecca wasn’t mentally stable at the time they were together she saw him differently? Is that it? I mean, we always tend to see people differently after some time apart. And Rebecca has changed a lot since Greg last saw her, so that’s probably why she’s seeing him differently. Both of them have probably changed a lot.

10) OMG they did it again, the entire conversation!

GREG: No, I'm-I'm here on winter break. I'm actually back for the whole rest of the series… of holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and the finale…. Valentine's Day.

HECTOR: Valentine's Day. I guess that is the logical end of our series… of holidays.

11)

12) I love Heather so much…

13) Josh had a literally one good thing going on in his life right now – being prom king at his reunion – and it was all a lie!

14) Now, this was quite a revelation…

GREG: I got to confess, I've been back a few times.

REBECCA: You have?

GREG: Yeah, uh, I just thought it would be best if you and I didn't see each other.

REBECCA: So you were back in town and no one told me?

GREG: Well, I may have asked them not to. I did. Yeah, I did.

Question is… does he know about Rebecca and his dad? And everything that happened in the last two years?

15) The clean slate thing works considering he is literally a different person – at least physically, what he says sounds pretty Greg-ish to me – but it’s the easy way out for Rebecca… Sleeping with Greg’s dad is probably at the top of the worst things she’d done (and yes, I’m including pushing Trent off the balcony.)

16) OMG we’re getting a new Greg and Rebecca song, I can’t believe it.

Okay, show, I think you did it. You got Greg back and you didn’t piss me off in doing so. And of course the Greg and Rebecca song is amazing and it’s the first one this season that I actually love. I had to go back and watch it again.

I really didn’t believe they could pull this off, and I really don’t know how they did it, but it worked? Listening to these two sing to each other about their history together and seeing them reconnect… my heart was swelling with joy.

Also, I loved the fact that they made it clear Greg is still sober.

Is it weird that even though he’s clearly a different person, I do see Greg?

17) Man, I loved every Heather/Valencia scene in this episode! And damn, Valencia, that story is the thing great love stories are made of!

18) So… does Greg’s dad really have to talk to him about sleeping with Rebecca or was Greg trying to get Rebecca to fess up?

19) Yes, Rebecca, you make total sense…

I mean, he basically told her he didn’t feel for his ex-girlfriend the same way he’d felt for her, right? I wouldn’t want to fess up either...

20) WAIT, WHAT?!!!

HEATHER: What? It was Father Brah?

VALENCIA: Joseph. He never got the letter. My love letter was in his jacket in Hector's trunk for 12 years?!

OMFG this show just blew my mind!! He was going to marry Valencia and Josh, right? He was always giving Josh advice about his relationship with her? Is this why he decided to become a priest? WHAT IN THE HELL?!

21) I’m HEATHER, THIS IS HOW I FEEL WATCHING THIS EPISODE!!

22) A GEORGE SONG?!!! CAN THIS EPISODE GET ANY BETTER?!!!

Another catchy tune!! Love the Hollaback Girl homage! And I laughed so hard! “We learned to cry while you were popular!”

23) My shipping heart is killing me right now…

24) Oh, dang, indeed!

25) OH ME GERDS!!

Paula is going to freak out when she reads all those texts, isn’t she?

26) I SHIP THIS? A PRIEST AND A PARTY PLANNER?

What is this episode doing to me?

27) thIS FUCKING EPISODE, I SWEAR TO GOD!

Okay, it makes sense, Valencia is in a good relationship and she is very much in love with her girlfriend. And I’m sure Father Brah didn’t become a priest just because Valencia didn’t choose him. At least they got closure and knowing the truth about what happened definitely changes how they will look back on those memories.

28) OMG they were about to kiss and she told him!

I’m kind of sad she ruined the moment, but it had to be done. Good for you, Honest Rebecca, I’m proud!

29) Greg’s reaction was not what I had expected. He did freak out a little, but he was mostly surprised at how Rebecca came clean and owned up to probably the shittiest thing she could’ve done to him. He didn’t punch any walls (awwing at the reference!) And yes, Rebecca has changed, too. For the better. Old Rebecca? She would’ve lied and schemed and manipulated to prevent him from finding out until ultimately everything would’ve blown up in her face.

And I loved the fact that he’s the one to acknowledge they both have changed.

30) Paula’s ending scene!! I loved her reaction to all the texts from Rebecca as if she was seeing the situation unfold in front of her in real time. It was perfect!

31) This episode… is definitely my favorite episode this season! I just loved EVERYTHING about it? The Heather/Valencia/Father Brah B plot, Greg’s return, Hector’s obsession with the speech and the 2-hours lunch, Rebecca’s texts, the songs, the meta!

It was an amazing episode that reminded us why we love this show so much and why it is SO GOOD.

The writers knew the odds were against them in bringing back Greg with a different actor in the role, so they brought their A game and delivered a nearly perfect episode, one that I’m sure will be remembered as one of the best in the series.

And of course they had to amp up the meta jokes in this one - they were bringing back one of their main characters but played by a different actor, they had to make a meta-commentary about it. But I really enjoyed how organically they weaved the behind the scenes stuff into the storyline - they made the fact that they were recasting a character emotionally relevant for the characters.

I also love how all the storylines had a common thread and in a way reflected back to Rebecca’s storyline - Father Brah and Valencia missing their shot kind of echoes Greg and Rebecca’s story, although they might get a second chance now; Josh discovering this whole new side to the high school experience he’d never noticed before kind of mirrors Rebecca seeing Greg in a new light; Paula missing out on the events of the whole night and catching up in a few minutes probably mirrors Greg’s journey in this episode.

I was very hazy about the decision to cast a different actor to play Greg, but I also knew that if any show and any group of writers could pull it off, it was CEG. And God bless them, they did! I’m not saying I’m totally sold on New Greg yet, but I feel like I will. I feel like I will grow to love this Greg as well. And I think the fact that they were able to achieve that - the possibility of viewers falling in a love with a recast character - is a feat in itself.

This show is such a blessing, I swear! I can’t wait to rewatch this episode!

Sorry if I got a bit rambly and incoherent there, I just enjoyed this episode a lot!

32) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[whydontwe-fanfics]

In Person (D.S)

Previously Called: Guess Who’s Back

Description: Both you and Daniel’s family and friends help you both reunite, surprising Daniel with a break from the long distance between you two.

Request: Can you do one where the reader is from Australia and she's dating Daniel and she goes over to LA or Portland to surprise him and the boys love her and their families love her and it's just full of fluff

Request: So I’m not sure if requests are open but could you do something about being in a long distance with Daniel and surprising him on tour or in LA? I absolutely love your writing, just had to add that xx

Word Count: 1.6k

---

The giddy smile on your face wouldn't budge as you sat on the plane, your leg bouncing and heart thumping.

Only a few more hours and you'll be in his arms, something you've been craving for a while now.

You haven't seen Daniel Seavey in person for five months. Between his busy tour schedule and your busy school schedule, neither of you could manage time to see one another and you both hated it.

A month ago, you had gotten a call from Anna, Daniel's younger sister. Apparently, Daniel had been behaving weird and she assumed that it was because you couldn't visit for Christmas break.

So since then, you've been planning.

Daniel's parents had decided to pay for your plane ticket back to Australia and your parents paid for your ticket to California, and you couldn't be more grateful.

So for the next week, you'll be residing in L.A with your boyfriend. But he didn't know that, yet.

Before you knew it, you were in LAX and wheeling your suitcase out of the airport with a bag on your back and your phone in your hands.

A small squeal left your throat when you saw Jonah and Corbyn standing outside of their car, waiting for you.

"Y/N!" they called excitingly. You were immediately embraced the second you were in front of them and you couldn't help the laughs that escaped your throat as their arms wrapped around you.

"I've missed you guys," you sigh, pulling away from them.

"Y/N!" You didn't even have the chance to turn around before arms wrapped around you from behind and picked you up.

A small yelp left your throat as your feet touched the ground again. You turned around and another laugh left your mouth when you saw Jack and Zach.

You reeled them both in for hugs, the happiness contagious within the group.

"Daniel is gonna cry when he sees you," Jack grins as he places your bags in the trunk.

"He's been the moodiest person ever," Jonah mentions.

"Really?" you sigh.

"Yeah. But that frown will wipe right off of his face when his eyes land on you," Corbyn reassures you as you all climb into the car. Jonah got into the driver's seat, Corbyn in the front passenger's, and you, Jack and Zach all in the back.

"What's it been? Five months since we've seen you?" Zach asked.

"Yep. I've been so busy," you shake your head.

"Yeah, we get it. With all the tour dates, we haven't got to see our families a lot, either," Jonah tapped his fingers against the wheel.

"We're lucky we got to go home for Christmas," Jack nodded.

"Well, at least you're on a break now," you rested your head against the window.

"Amen."

---

It didn't take long before you guys arrived at the Seavey household. Your excitement had peaked when you saw the front door open.

Anna and Tyler walked out before quietly closing the door behind them.

"Y/N," they tried to whisper, running up to you. You were pulled into yet another hug and you tried to keep in your giggles but they found their way out.

"I've missed you so much," Anna genuinely said.

"It's because of your call that I'm here," you remind her before hugging for the second time.

"Daniel's gonna lose his shit," Tyler chuckled.

"Someone record this," Jonah said as he took your suitcase into his hands and Zach held your bag.

"On it," Jack called, whipping out his phone.

"Where is he?" you ask, brushing your hand against your pants.

"His room," Anna took hold of your hand and began leading you into the house. You couldn't help but let your eyes wander around the new Seavey home that you had yet to see since their move.

Jack began recording as you reached the second floor, everyone following after you.

You already knew which room belonged to Daniel when you heard his keyboard being played from down the hall. His door was opened and you felt yourself itching to burst in excitement.

When you subtly took a step into the doorway of his room, you saw his back turned to you as his head nodded to the rhythm of the music.

You and the rest of the clan's smiles were beaming as you stealthily walked into his room, stopping at not even three steps in.

Crossing your arms and slightly cracking your head to the side, a small hum leaves your throat.

"What ya workin' on?" Your smile stays strong at the sight of Daniel's back tensing, the sound of his fingers playing against the keyboard cutting off instantly.

You could imagine his face scrunching up into the confused expression you know and love.

He didn't waste another second before whipping his head around, his eyes widening when they catch sight of you.

He almost immediately stood up, his face frozen with shock.

"Y/N!" He nearly shouted, looking at you as if you weren't real before he quickly made his way towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you tightly against his chest.

A small laugh left your lips as you wrapped your own arms around his neck as he spots everyone in his doorway but ignores them as he savors the feeling of you in his arms.

"Hi, babe," you mumble and his arms tighten around you.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" He slightly pulled away only to take view of your face. He looked genuinely confused but didn't let that cover his enthusiasm.

"I missed you and heard that you weren't being the usual hyper Daniel," you rose a single eyebrow at him and he shook his head before kissing you longingly.

"Aww," you heard Anna coo as the guys groaned and cringed.

"I've missed you so much," Daniel sighed, eyes boring in yours and vice versa. "It's like I've been going through withdrawal." Another small laugh left your throat when you heard this before he pulled you in and placed another kiss on your lips.

It was then that Jack stopped recording and everyone huddled around the couple.

"You guys are amazing," Daniel hummed against the side of your head as he placed a kiss there.

"We know," Jonah pat him on the back before taking a seat where Daniel previously sat at the keyboard.

"We should really go thank your parents," you suggest. "They're paying for my ticket back home."

"Really?"

"Mhm," Anna nodded.

"Anyway, we should leave these two lovebirds to schmuggle," Corbyn wiggled his eyebrows.

"What the hell does schmuggle mean?" Tyler bewilderingly asked as everybody stalked out of the room.

"Cuddling, duh." Zach's voice is the last thing clearly heard before Jonah sent you both a wink and Jack closed the door after him.

"How long are you staying?"

"A whole week," you grin, rocking on your heels just before Daniel pulled you to sit on the edge of his bed with him. "I'll be staying here since you live at the compound with the guys."

"I'm staying here if you're staying here."

"I was hoping you'd say that," you pick one of your hands up and run it through his hair. "You look so different yet the exact same since the last time I've seen you."

"I could say the same thing," Daniel shook his head with a smile as his eyes roamed your face. "I'm just still taking in that you're actually here. This is all I've been wanting for so long."

"I know," you give him a sad smile, bringing your hand down from his hair. Daniel then took your hands into his and began fiddling with your fingers. "I wish I could just live down the street from you."

Daniel doesn't talk for a few seconds, but then a small grin breaks out on his face. "Your accent sounds better in person."

"So does yours," you roll your eyes amusingly at his mention of your Australian accent, something he never forgets to adore aloud. "Your face looks better in person, too."

"You're telling me. I'd much rather see you face to face instead of through an Instagram live or Skype box," Daniel sighed before pausing. "When did you decide you were coming?"

"A month," you reply. "Between classes and everything else, now seemed like the best time."

"I'm just happy you're here," he murmured, leaning back onto one of his elbows and using his other arm to pull you into him. "I just don't know how you're even awake right now."

Every other time you took a place to America, your body would tire out and you and Daniel would have your traditional nap after you arrived.

"I think it's the adrenaline," you shrug. "But it's slowly wearing off."

"C'mon," Daniel then sat up and you went along with him. You slid your shoes off as Daniel unfolded his bed, climbing in and waiting for you to join. After you turned off the light, you slid into the sheets beside him, his arms taking your body into his embrace.

By the time the guys quietly tip-toed back to Daniel's room, you both had been sleeping and the guys all took a picture and posted it to some sort of social media while Anne smiled from the doorway, happy that her brother was happy.

---

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