#THEN ‘we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves’

[autoneurotic]

my partner has uttered the most dangerous words: ‘looking at tattoo guns online and—‘ yeah, babe, YOU might have self control, but ME? i will make so many foolish and permanent decisions if we buy this

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

As You Wish | Neil Lewis x fem!reader

Summary| You've had your eye on Neil for a while now and Neil's friends can tell but Neil isn't so sure until you come into Gumshoe Video with a boy on your arm with horrible taste in date-night cinema. When the date goes awry, Neil jumps to action.

Warning| Age gap, reader (19) and Neil (27), rudeness, flirting, touching, Neil being a little creepy, Neil's dubious consent, talk of virginity and inexperience, kissing, blowjob.

Mastermind- Taylor Swift (yeah, I said it) 🎵

Colorblind- Counting Crows 🎶

word count: 4933k

*sentences in italics are quotes from The Princess Bride (1987)

Please read warnings before continuing- thanks!

“That kid keeps coming around. If you’re not careful she’s gonna fall in love and you’ll be in deep shit,” Lucien fixed the thick frame of his glasses on his angular nose and returned the fake pipe to his mouth. 

“Why don’t you shut up, Lucien. It’s not like that. Just keep your weird thoughts to yourself in my store.” Neil called over his shoulder as he stocked the shelves with returned VHS tape sleeves. He ran his elbow over his forehead, wiping away the thin layer of perspiration. 

“Everyone’s thinking it…” Lucien raised his hands in defense and Neil rolled his eyes. Jonathan came in from Neil’s office holding a milkcrate full of new movies, still wrapped in plastic. Neil whistled at him. 

“Jonathan, do you think that girl likes me?” Neil shot Lucien a look as Jonathan answered. 

“Oh yeah, 100% dude.” 

“What, no! Jonathan, you were supposed to say no.” Neil spoke with his hands, slapping his hand against his face. Lucien chuckled and Jonathan looked between them, confused.

“What? Neil, did you want me to lie or something?” Jonathan put down the milkcrate and leaned against the checkout counter. 

“He’s blissfully unaware of how much that girl likes him.” Lucien sucked on the empty pipe and coughed, swallowing his spit the wrong way. 

“How? Neil, she comes by like twice a week to talk to you and shows up at all of our softball games.” 

“She’s only nineteen! For all I know, she just wants a job here one day.” Neil shrugged and went back to stocking the shelves, a blush creeping into his high cheekbones. 

“Sure she wants a job here if it means that she gets to fucking talk to you everyday, all day about classic films and shit!” Jonathan laughed. 

“She’s nice!” Neil exclaimed defeatedly and massaged his eye sockets. 

“Yeah, so’s my aunt but she doesn’t come around here every week to tell me about the latest movie she’s watched.” Lucien mumbled. 

“That wasn’t as effective as you think it was,” Jonathan sighed, then just to Lucien, “don’t use a family member next time, ok?” 

“Ok, OK!” Neil interrupted them, shaking his hands. “It’s not like that and she doesn’t like me like that. I’m like eight years older than her…” 

“That’s never stopped people before,” Lucien reminded Neil and he withheld a few choice expletives as the shop door opened and a customer came in. The bell twinkled and Neil called out the familiar greeting. 

“Welcome to Gumshoe Video!” 

“Hi, Neil.” Y/N smiled shyly. Lucien and Jonathan’s quiet snickers stopped as a second customer entered after the girl. “This is Woody. Woody, this is Neil.” 

“Hey, how’s it going?” Woody waved to Neil and his friends on the back couch. They waved back in shocked silence. 

“What happened to you?” She asked, recoiling away from the employees who stared at her as if they’d seen a ghost. Neil blushed, still embarrassed. 

“I was just not looking forward to telling you that we lost the copy of um, The Virgin Suicides that you wanted. It’ll take another few weeks and I assume that’s why you stopped by.” Neil scrambled for a reliable answer, and one that was partly true. She blushed slightly when she heard Neil use the word ‘virgin’ and laughed it off. 

“It’s ok, I just wanted to show Woody my favorite place.” 

“We’re going to get a movie,” Woody smiled and began to scan the shelves. 

“Sooo what do you like? Classic horror, westerns, Spike Lee, Hitchcock, Coppola?” Neil listed off categories of films he viewed to be superior and Woody shook his head, oblivious to Neil’s edged tone. 

“I like action movies mainly. I haven’t seen much else.” 

Neil smiled at the girl’s embarrassed reaction. He knew well that she didn’t like action movies and refused to watch them even if Neil recommended one. 

“So like war movies?”

“Sports movies.” Woody corrected and pretended to shoot a basketball. “Anything about football or basketball.” 

Neil felt a sharp pain in his chest at the boy’s words. He was a walking abomination to the film community. Lucien made a sound similar to a whimper and Neil cleared his throat to mask it. 

“Well uh i’m sure that we can find something for you though we don’t tend to carry sports movies because we have so little demand for it,” Neil explained blandly. “Have you ever seen anything by Tarentino? His movies tend to be more action-oriented. That and the old Bond movies.” Neil started to list movies he was almost completely sure Woody had not seen. Every shake of Woody’s head scratched a strange itch inside his head. What was this girl doing with someone like Woody? 

“Ah maybe,” Woody shrugged. “Do you have Rudy, Bull Durham, Remember the Titans?” 

“No, we don’t.” Neil pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled stiffly. “We do have the Air Bud movies,” Neil mumbled as a joke but Woody looked interested. 

“Where’s that?” He asked, looking around the store. 

“The kid’s section. It’s about a dog that plays sports,” Neil deadpanned and Jonathan and Lucien stifled their giggles. 

Woody was completely oblivious to Neil’s pointed comment and shrugged. 

“Sounds good to me,” he looked at the girl with a smile. Her lips were parted in a look of displeasure and shock. 

“You want to watch Air Bud?” She stressed the name of the movie like a bad word. Woody smiled, still not catching the tone of dislike in her speech. 

“Um…” She started and trailed off, totally caught off guard. Neil smiled, almost enjoying the direction that this interaction had gone. 

“I’ll get it for you,” Neil used his best customer service voice and turned around. He widened his eyes at Jonathan and Lucien, I told you so. Lucien narrowed his eyes behind his glasses, not wanting to admit defeat just yet. 

“Sooo are you two dating,” Lucien tried to sound casual but his tone was suggestive and Y/N blushed deeply from embarrassment. 

“No, we’re just friends,” she answered too quickly and Neil glowered at Lucien. Jonathan looked down at his hands, wanting to stay out of the conversation. Woody looked at her and frowned. 

“Well on that note, I think I’ll just get going. Forget about the movie, dude. Thanks anyway,” Woody snipped and left the store abruptly. The bell beside the door clanged loudly as he walked down the sidewalk, fumming. 

“Lucien!” Neil exclaimed and Jonathan swatted Lucien’s arm. 

“Sorry…geez!” Lucien deflected Jonathan’s hands and scooted away. Neil, holding a copy of Air Bud on VHS, lowered it and slid it onto the checkout counter. 

“Sooo no more Air Bud?” Neil tried to break the awkward silence. She gave him a look that quieted him immediately and left the store, going the opposite way that Woody had turned. She went around the side of the building where she knew there was a shabby basketball goal and a place to sit. She wanted to wait it out, to make sure that she wouldn’t run into Woody again that afternoon. It was safer to hide here than walk home. 

“Nice going, Lucien.” Neil sighed and returned the tape to the shelf. 

“You just fucking ruined young love,” Jonathan quipped and Lucien gasped defensively. Neil joined them on the long section couch and they sat in silence for a while. A loud bang made them all jump. 

“What the hell was that?” Jonathan turned to look where the sound had come from. The three of them stood to investigate. The second time they heard it, the shelf of tapes on the wall was josuled. They each jumped again and Neil drew his face up into a tight line. 

“Is someone throwing something against the wall?” Lucien surmised and spoke with his pipe in his palm. 

“I’ll check it out,” Neil looked at the shelf warily and backed away. He left the store and went around the side of the building. Seeing Y/N made him jump again and he clutched his chest briefly. She had a basketball and was chucking it at the hoop without much care for whether or not it went in. The ball hit the wall again. Jonathan and Lucien collected the tapes that had fallen off of the shelf only to have more tapes fall on their heads. 

“Maybe you should watch more sports movies, it might help you with your technique.” Neil crossed his arms casually across his chest and smiled. She dribbled the basketball slowly and caught it in her arms. 

“It was more of an exercise of rage,” she spoke between heavy breaths. 

“Sorry about Lucien,” Neil gestured to the store. “He’s not great with people.” 

“I could tell… but I’m not really upset about it-”

“You fooled me,” Neil interjected with a laugh. She rolled her eyes with a small smile. 

“He gave me an out but it wasn’t the right time. I shouldn’t have said it like that to Woody.” She dribbled the basketball again. 

“So were you dating?” Neil opened his hands, signaling her to throw him the ball. 

“Kind of,” she tossed him the ball and shrugged, “we’d gone out once or twice. We met at a party. Nothing was official yet.” Neil aimed and threw the ball, it fell through the hoop with a quiet whoosh before bouncing on the pavement below. She retrieved the ball and with one hand, she fixed the legs of her shorts, pulling them down over her thighs. He looked away quickly. 

“Did you know his taste in movies before you started going out?” Neil asked and watched as she aligned herself to toss the ball. It bounced off of the backboard and spun into the hoop. Neil applauded and she smiled. 

“He said he liked action movies but I didn’t know that he meant… sports movies. He’s a business major and I doubt he’s ever taken a film class or seen anything that wasn’t about sports in some way.” She nearly shivered. “And you had to suggest Air Bud?” She asked him pointedly and he pursed his lips defensively. 

“That was not an actual suggestion. I can’t believe he fell for it,” Neil dribbled the ball around his legs lazily and circled her before shooting. He missed and she giggled. “I think you dodged a bullet,” he told her honestly and when they held eye-contact, he felt his navel twitch. 

“Could you imagine if I had to watch Air Bud on a date?” She looked down at the ball and missed the hoop by a few feet. She sighed and fanned herself. This is exactly what she had been hoping would happen. She wouldn’t go as far as to say that she was a mastermind but she’d been trying to get closer to Neil for weeks. She’d liked Woody enough but taking him to Gumshoe Video was more strategic than cute. She hoped to make Neil a little jealous, and show him that she could get other guys. Nothing had actually happened between her and Neil besides long chats and lots of laughter. Maybe she could change that. 

Neil picked up the ball and bounded over to the hoop, jumping and shooting the ball. His fingers pushed the ball into the net as he landed back down on the ground. When he turned his eyes widened slightly. 

“It’s really fucking hot today,” she mumbled as she pulled off her t-shirt, having just a camisole underneath. Her cutoff denim shorts and black camisole left little to the imagination but Neil still tried. She tossed the shirt to the side and dribbled the ball, her eyes focused on the goal. Neil looked down her camisole, staring at her chest as her breasts shifted beneath the fabric in her bra. Her pink bra straps slipped on her shoulders and after shooting the ball, she had to snap them back into place. He blushed more and looked away. She crossed the small makeshift court and sat on the shallow ledge beside the store, swinging her legs up and underneath her. Neil held the ball awkwardly in his hands and approached her slowly. 

“What movie would you watch on a first date?” She asked him.

 “Uh,” his mind blanked, “definitely Air Bud,” he nodded and she laughed. He sat beside her and shoved his hands into his pockets. 

        “Neil! I’m being serious!” She pressed the toe of her foot against her chest.

“Ok, ok ummm,” he wrapped his fingers around her bare ankle with a smile and moved it back to the ledge in between them. She shifted her body so that she was facing him, both feet planted on the ledge in front of him. “Maybe The Wizard of Oz.” 

 “Why?” She asked with a soft smile. He rocked back and forth, using his hands to support himself. His large hands sat on either side of her feet, his chest directly over her knees. 

“Well it was one of the first movies to use color,” he said first, “and it would give me a chance to brag about how much I know about film.” He pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. She laughed and shook her head. 

“I thought you hated musicals!” She protested and he looked away sheepishly. 

“I do but I can’t pass up an opportunity to impress someone, especially a girl.” He looked at her and then blushed, looking away again. “I mean,” he started and she nodded.

“No, I get it. Do you like romance movies?” She fluttered her lashes discreetly, making Neil second guess whether she had done it intentionally or not. “You don’t seem like one but we all have our secrets,” she dragged her hand up her leg, drawing his attention to the contours of muscle beneath her shin bone. 

“You could argue that every movie is a romance,” Neil sputtered slightly, collecting himself. 

“Even Air Bud?” She asked with a raised eyebrow and he scoffed, looking away. 

“I don’t know about that.”

“What’s your favorite romance movie?” She rested her forearms on her knees and leaned forward. He looked at her briefly, his eyes dipping to her cleavage before meeting her eyes again. 

“Uh w-what?” He asked and she giggled.

“What’s your favorite romance movie?” She asked again and he thought quickly. 

“The Princess Bride,” his eyes flicked to her’s for approval and that surprised him. 

“I love that movie,” her eyes widened as she recalled the plot. 

“What about you?” 

“Well The Princess Bride is the best answer but I like The Great Gatsby too,” she smiled shyly. 

“The Great Gatsby is a tragedy at heart,” Neil argued and she shrugged.

“As you wish,” she quoted from The Princess Bride and his eyes flicked open wider for one second before he cleared his throat. The sun was starting to set and the sky bled with a sated orange color. She looked up at the sky, showing the vulnerable underside of her chin and swallowed. Neil watched, letting his eyes wander over the soft expanse of flesh. 

“We should probably go inside,” Neil broke the silence, “or I-I should go back.” He jerked his thumb back to the store and she lowered her head again and let her head fall to one side. 

“As you wish,” she said again and laughed. He watched her silently and licked his lips. He felt like he was going to say something but no words came to his mind as he sat there. 

“Or do you want to come inside? Sorry, I’m not trying to get rid of you…” 

“Ok, sure.” She nodded and followed him around the store, pulling on her big shirt again. Jonathan and Lucien were arguing inside but stopped when they walked inside. 

“Basketball game?” Lucien asked over his pipe and Y/N nodded with a sigh. 

“Sorta, I had to blow off some steam.” 

“He’s sorry by the way,” Jonathan added and Lucien started to argue but she cut them off. 

“It’s ok. You saved me a night watching Air Bud.” She winked and started to browse the aisles again. Jonathan shoved Lucien. 

“What? What’s your problem?” Lucien protested and Jonathan gestured to the door, hinting that they should leave. “You have to be joking,” he muttered under his breath, irritated. 

“Hey uh, Neil?” Jonathan cleared his throat. Neil broke his obvious concentration on the girl and looked at his friends on the couch. 

“Yeah?”

“We’re gonna head out. Lucien owes me a beer and I want to beat the bar rush,” Jonathan grabbed Lucien by the shoulders and shuffled out the front door. 

“It’s not even seven yet-” Neil started but they were gone before he could finish. His heart started beating quickly and he glanced anxiously at the disappearing silhouettes of his friends. The girl walked through the aisles, biting her bottom lip slightly as she looked. He didn’t want to be alone like this with her, it felt weird. She was young enough to be his younger sister and it irked him… and yet, she looked so pretty beneath the yellowish fluorescent bulbs inside the store and her hair was sticky from the humidity. 

“We should watch something,” she said quietly behind a rack of VHS and Neil cleared his throat. 

“Together?”

“No, in separate rooms… yeah of course together.” She laughed lightly and showed him the movie she had found. He chuckled and shrugged. 

“The Princess Bride? Ok, sure.” He approached the small box tv in front of the sectional couch and inserted the tape. Y/N slipped discreetly to the front doors and turned over the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’ and locked the door. Neil stood behind the couch and set up the box player, struggling with the buttons on the remote. She collapsed on the couch and rested her legs on the wide ottoman. Her hair spread over the back of the couch and covered Neil’s hand. He looked down at it and struggled to exhale normally. The movie started and she wiggled in excitement. Neil sat on a stool behind the couch, worried about sitting beside her. After the first ten minutes of them each reciting the lines back to the tv, she looked over her shoulder, flashing a toothy grin. 

“Neil, come on, sit with me. It’s weird to have you looking over my shoulder like that.”

“Um I- uh yeah ok,” Neil stammered and joined her hesitantly on the couch, his hands between his knees. His longer hair brushed the tops of his shoulders and she resisted the urge to sweep a strand into her hand. Slowly he relaxed and they acted to each other as well as to the tv, adapting the characters they liked best. As the movie went on, she braved looking over at him more and holding his startling eye contact. They laughed hard at one scene and bent over with laughter, shifting their bodies closer in the process. Eventually they were nearly arm-to-arm on the worn brown sectional. Neil’s breath escaped in pained bursts as he looked at her thigh, relaxed on the couch beside his leg. Her shorts had creeped up to her crotch as they sat and she’d made no move to pull them back down. He caught himself staring at the crease at her crotch and wondering if the tightness was uncomfortable for her, how warm the material would be against her like that… he shook his head to clear his thoughts and clenched his jaw when he felt his cock twitch. 

“Neil?” She turned slightly to him and his breath hitched as he turned his attention to her. She bit her lip lightly and slowly pressed herself up onto her knee. He watched her, his eyes flicking between the tv and her face, inches from his face. 

Hear this now: I will always come for you. 

She exhaled softly and her breath rippled across his face. Her hands inched closer to his stomach clothed beneath his light blue shirt. Her bright eyes intoxicated him as she brought her lips to his, offering herself. When she kissed him, her eyes squeezed closed and she sucked briefly on his bottom lip, lacking technique from her barely nonexistent experience. When she pulled away slowly Neil’s brow creased as his brows flew up. 

“Y/N… we uh we shouldn’t.”  

But how can you be sure? 

Her eyes crinkled in embarrassment and her small cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she whispered and sat back against the couch, pressing her sweaty palms against her thighs. Neil looked over at her and licked his lips, fighting an internal argument against himself. 

This is true love- you think this happens everyday?

She flexed her thighs anxiously on the couch and the movement sent a shock up Neil’s body, making his crotch throb slightly, weary from the close proximity to her warm skin. 

You mock my pain.

Neil brushed a shaky finger down the side of her thigh and felt her inhale quickly. She looked at him slowly, her lips parted. His hand slid up her body to her head and cupped her cheek. He leaned over and kissed her, not harshly but not subtle either. Their lips popped wetly when he pulled away. He looked down at her, she was panting slightly, her heart fluttering in her chest. 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Neil whispered and fell back into the couch beside her, clenching his fists. They sat in silence, their breath mingling in the space between them like a mixture of heat waves. Neil smelled faintly of mint mouthwash and musk, the sweat worked up during their “game” clung to his body. 

Life is pain, princess. Anyone who says differently is selling something. 

And quick as a flash of lightning, their bodies flew together, their mouths finding each other like opposite ends of a magnet or a cap over a pen. She climbed onto his lap, straddling his hips and held his head in her small hands. He wrapped his arms around her waist, bunching the fabric in his hands. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he greeted it with enthusiasm, his hands tightening around her waist. She licked his lips as she closed down around them, sucking everything out of him. He moaned softly against her kiss and his arms flexed, his cock hardening. She gasped when she felt him get hard against her crotch. He broke their kiss abruptly. 

“Fuck, sorry.” He loosened his grip on her waist and went to shift out from under her. “I didn’t mean to get…” he trailed off and moved her off his lap easily. She watched him, her mind already caught in a lapse. 

“This was a mistake. You’re in college. I shouldn’t have encouraged this,” he dragged his hands through his dark hair and pulled at the roots, mumbling incoherently as she looked up at him, her eyes wide like a doe. The front of his pants tented out and he started to walk to his office. She jumped and grabbed his hand, catching him before he disappeared into the backroom. 

“Please, stay.” She whispered and bit her lip, dispelling some of her pent up energy into the action. 

“You’re too young.”

“I’m nineteen.” 

“I’m too old for you.”

“You’re 27.”

“You’re a virgin.” 

She flushed redder and looked away, embarrassed. “Not really.” She looked back at him and shrugged. “We all have our secrets, right?” She cocked her head and tried to smile, her heart beating so fast that she felt dizzy. 

“I don’t know…” Neil added half-heartedly, having run out of reasons. “The customers!” Neil remembered and glanced, panicked, at the front doors. 

“You closed early.” She smiled embarrassedly and rubbed his wrist with her thumb. “Please,” she tried again and he looked down at her. His cock throbbed uncomfortably in his pants. He allowed her to lead him back to the couch and watched as she lowered herself onto her knees. Her hands rested on his thighs as she opened his legs wide enough to sit between them. He watched dumbly as she unbuckled his belt and slowly unzipped his fly. She tugged down the crotch of his jeans, exposing the waistband of his checkered boxers. 

“Wait,” Neil blurted and she looked up at him, “come here.” He asked softly and waited as she rose to her feet, her hands moving to his chest as she leaned closer. He pulled her back onto his lap, straddling her over his lap and kissed her, lapping at her mouth with his tongue. His small biceps flexed around her, his hands finding her hair and wrapping his fingers in it hungrily. She sat up on her knees and pressed her crotch against his chest, making him sit up taller to reach her mouth. She whimpered softly as he kissed her as if he was eating her, slowly getting deeper. His kisses felt so good on their own that she almost moaned into him, licking the tip of his nose. She licked the edge of his jaw and he let her, savoring the immature way she approached tasting him. His hands supported her back as she panted, bucking her hips against his chest as she kissed him feverishly. Racks of tapes shielded them from view but Neil hoped passerbys couldn’t hear them through the storefront’s display glass.

Slowly she slid down his chest and returned to her spot between his legs. She licked the warm mound at his crotch, leaving a wide wet spot. Neil sighed as he watched her, his cock twitched again. Her hands squeezed into his thighs and she licked his erection again through his boxers. 

“Oh god,” Neil gasped and looked up at the ceiling. She hooked her hands around his waistband and pulled it down slowly, finally releasing his cock which glistened with precum. She stared at it for a moment before kissing the head. Neil’s mouth fell open in pleasure and shock. “Look at you, god… fuck.” She smiled, self-conscious and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock, squeezing him slightly. He groaned and bucked his hips. She rubbed the head against her wet lips and slowly slipped him inside her mouth. Her mouth was already watering and he whined loudly as she took him in, hallowing her cheeks on accident but soon realizing that it made Neil feel good. She went as deep as she could and pulled away, allowing a thick line of spit to connect her lips with his cock. Neil’s eyes widened and his head dropped back against the couch. His hands flew up to his face and massaged his cheeks, unsure how to handle the things he was feeling and not wanting to force her head down on top of him. 

She took him back into her mouth and swirled her tongue around him, bobbing her head up and down. She rocked her head slightly and tried to create a rhythm that elicited the most pitiful sounds from Neil. His cock shook inside her mouth and she sucked hard against it like a lollipop. Neil’s hands tightened around his face and he moaned loudly, exhaling sharply. 

“Oh god, honey. What the actual fuck.” He whined between even breaths. He looked down at her pretty little mouth sucking him off and he nearly finished then when she pulled off of him and started to jack him off, her tongue pressed flat against his head. Her fist clenched around his length and he sputtered, unable to form words. After a dozen hard and fast jerks, she took him in her mouth again and bobbed up and down quickly, drooling heavily around him as she tasted his salty precum. 

“Oh fuck- fuck- fuck! Shit, I’m gonna cum.” He panted and moaned loudly, his hands finally finding her hair, the pleasure becoming so overwhelming that it was almost painful. The friction and sensation heightened and his knuckles turned white around her long hair. He thrusted his hips gently into her mouth, not wanting to gag her. She welcomed it, opening her throat and humming to let him deeper. She breathed deeply through her nose and her exhales feathered across his crotch, adding even more to the sensations he was already feeling. With a yell Neil spilled into her mouth, bucking his hips and falling back on the couch. She proudly continued to suck him off, pulling everything out of him. He watched her, breathing heavily. She swallowed his warm cum with a smile. 

I told you I would come for you…

Neil glanced up at the movie screen and chuckled. She licked him from the base up and plopped back onto the couch, breathing heavily too. Neil tucked himself back into his pants, leaving his belt unbuckled. She arranged herself proudly beside him on the couch, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“That was fucking incredible,” Neil slapped his forehead and laughed breathlessly. “So so good…” he shook his head and looked at her, smiling lopsidedly. She snaked a hand onto his crotch again and rubbed him before wrapping her arm around his sweaty neck. He wrapped his arms around her and supported her body weight as she laid against him, their stomach crushed against each other. She shivered as she heard his heavy breath against her ear. “Good girl,” he whispered and sighed. He rubbed her back and kissed her shoulder through her shirt. She turned over, sitting nearly on his lap. His hands clasped around her stomach and held her tightly. Her soft belly shivered beneath her slowing breaths. They both relaxed again into the movie.     

[faghubby]

Christmas Miracle

"Paulie come here" Morgan called from the bedroom. I stopped what I was doing and rush to her.

"I have decided to give you the best Christmas present ever" Morgan told me. "But first I want you to make yourself all girlie" she teased stepping close to me. She kissed my neck. I wasted no time first jumping in the shower to touch up any loose hairs I might have.

Morgan had helped me explore my submissive nature over the past two years. It had started as a game, but grew. I now exclusively wore not only panties but often a bra and stockings as well under my clothes. Morgan had tought me how to do my makeup and hair. Having me dress fully as a woman most weekends. Morgan and I had not had traditional sex in almost a year. Instead often lesbian sex. Using toys on each other and me orally pleasing her. On rare occasions she would stroke my dick. Morgan also cuckold me. But we didn't talk about it. As she put it, "it is none of your business what I do with men"

As I got out if the shower I found a red Christmas dress waiting for me. Along with sexy red lingerie. I got dressed. And did my makeup. I looked very sexy in my Christmas outfit I thought. Morgan was dressed in jeans and a long sleeve tee shirt when I found her. I towered over her in my 3 inch heels.

"You look perfect" Morgan smiled.

"Now, I decided for Christmas I am giving you freedom" she smiled. "No more hiding, I am going to help you introduce Paulina to the world." She told me. I was a bit worried.

"So we have an appointment to have our Christmas pictures taken. She grabbed her keys and led me to the car. I had been out dressed before but she drove to a local shop and made me go in. The photographer knew all about what she wanted posing us with me in the submissive role. Sitting with Morgan above me. Or playful where Morgan lifted me up. Morgan was happy with the pics. Not even letting me look. She chose one for a mass online card to everyone we knew.

"Paulina, come hit send" she told me. I hesitated.

"You know you want everyone to know, I think the family already suspects" Morgan told me. As I stood there the photographer reached under my dress. Startled I hit send.

"Do you want him" Morgan whispered in my ear. She didn't wait for an answer she pushed me to my knees. I had never sucked a real cock. Only Morgan's toys. I reached up and unzipped his pants. And pulled out his cock. Morgan stepped away as I took his cock in my mouth.

Meanwhile I heard my phone start digging like crazy. Morgan laughed

"OH everyone loves the pic baby. Even your mom" she told me.

"You seem to be enjoying Brad's cock baby" she said as I gagged on it. Just then he grabbed my head and pumped his load down my throat. I couldn't swallow fast enough gagging and coughing spitting his cum all over myself.

"Paulina you need to learn to swallow" Morgan said. She pushed me back to his cock. "Clean him up at least" I licked his softening cock and balls clean. I felt ashamed of what I had done as I stood up.

"Don't worry baby, I will find you lots of cocks to suck" Morgan told me. I was rock hard in my panties it showed thru the tight dress.

"Someone really liked sucking cock" Morgan giggled as Brad zipped up his pants and unlocked the door. I had not even realized he had locked it. Morgan led me out with cum still on my dress and my dick rock hard bulging my dress. Morgan read me my messages as I drove home.

"Your boss said you look pretty" she laughed. "Maybe you could work out a way to get a raise"

"John, says he can't wait to fuck me again" Morgan commented about my cousin

"Your mom said she loves the dress, wants to know if you will be wearing it to Christmas dinner" Morgan kept answering the messages but didn't tell me what she replied.

"Wow, Joe (my best friend) has a big cock" she said showing me a dick pic he sent me. When we got home we saw our neighbor staring at us with disgust.

"Go get the mail" Morgan told me. I walked to the end of the driveway. When I came inside. Morgan was stripped down to just her plain white panties.

"You where so naughty. Sucking Brad's cock" she told me. She picked up a leather strap.

'What is that for?" I said my voice shaking.

"Call Joe, ask him to come over and fuck you" she told me. She wrapped the leather strap gently around my neck.

"call Joe, if you don't want to let him fuck you, ask him to come fuck me" she told me. I picked up my phone.

"Hey sissy" Joe said as he answered.

"Joe, um you have a nice cock" I stuttered. Why did I say that?

"well thank you" he laughed.

"Would you like to come over?" I asked softly

"Be there soon" he said and hung up.

"You didn't ask him" Morgan said taking the leather strap.

"Bend over the couch with you panties pulled down" she ordered me. We had never even spoken about this. But I did as she said.

SMACK the strap stung my ass. I jumped.

"Don't move" Morgan said as a second blow hit.

"Want another or are you ready to admit what you are to the world" she asked. I didn't want another that was for sure. She squirted lube in my ass.

"when Joe gets here tell him what you did with Brad and ask him to help you do better" she told me. She shoved a large plug in my ass. She had me kneel by the front door and wait. Joe knocked a few minutes later I just said come in.

"Don't you look hot" Joe said.

"I tried to suck a cock today, but couldn't swallow. Will you help me?" I said. He dropped his pants he wore no underwear. I took him in my mouth.

"OH yes, suck my cock, you can suck it everyday if you want to" he told me.

"Hello, Morgan" Joe said I went to turn my head but Joe help my head on his cock.

"Your wife is so hot" Joe told me. As I continued to suck his cock. Morgan came up behind me and pushed on the plug in my ass. I moaned around Joe's cock.

"Like this Morgan said taking Joe's cock and sucking on it then put it back in my mouth. And his balls sweety. Lick and suck his balls. I did as she instructed. She then whispered in my ear.

"Joe will you please Fuck Morgan for me, she needs a man to fuck her" I pleaded. Morgan kissed my cheek and stood. joe carried her to our room and locked the door. I sat and listened to then fuck. Morgan moaned and cried out several times. As I heard Joe grunting.

The door opened suddenly and Joe appeared. His cock hanging soft. He waited a moment. Without a word I licked him clean tasting both his and Morgan's juices.

"You are a bitch now" Joe told me. As he went to gather his clothes from the front hall. I found Morgan in bed.naked her pussy red and swollen with Joe's seed leaking from it.

"Do you want to clean me? She asked. I just buried my head between her thighs without a word.

"You can never go back, everyone knows" Morgan reminded me. As she had me clean out all my male clothes from my closet.

[samutoru]

"maybe i'm the problem" - osamu dazai x gn!reader

pairing - dazai x gn!reader

warnings/contents - kissing, angst, death related subjects

summary - amongst the 3 way war starting, you and dazai had gotten into a fight. a visitor had came to ada (armed detective agency) and exposed dazai's past (when he was in port mafia). you got filled up with anger after finally knowing who he "truly" is. kunikida had sent you both to lure in the ability user who attacked the president but you refused to go with dazai, leading him to get shot by a sniper. later, kunikida breaks the news about to you about dazai undergoing surgery and you couldn't help but carry the guilt for not going to protect him.

story under the cut !

a/n : my first story ! so i hope you guys enjoy it :)

"dazai! someones here to see you!" atsushi announced as he laid as stack of paper onto his desk. "already? it's only 10 in the morning.." he complained, getting up followed by a strech.

"it's a lady, she said she's known you for a while, she said she was hoping to reunite with you, but i don't know if she's telling the truth.." atsushi sighed as he kicked his feet back onto his desk and slumped back into his chair.

"oh! we're still going together later right? to lure out fyodor with his attack on the president right?" you asked dazai as your gaze fixated at the door then to dazai.

"yeah! i can't wait to see what he has up his sleeves" dazai snickered as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "oh, do you wanna come with? i don't wanna go by myself," dazai pouted.

"sure- just let me get these last few sentences in for our report from yesterday and then i'll be ready to go with you" you chuckled.

you and dazai weren't offcially together, but you felt that there was something going on between you two. the whole agency knew about you and dazai being close so they paired you guys up to be partners along with kunikida and atsushi. if the agency heard you and dazai saying that you two didn't have anything going on between you two, they would be in denial since you two would always do couple things with each other.

you even agreed to do a double suicide with dazai.

"hi there! i'm dazai and this is y/n!" dazai greeted as he smiled at the woman in front of you two.

"i'm here to tell you about his past- how he's murdered people, committed fraud." the lady spat, hearing those words come out of her mouth left you shocked. you felt confused and you felt like the man right next to you was someone you've never known.

"dazai- what is she talking-" you turned to him for an anwer, anger filled up you up and it slowly felt that your heart was getting torn apart.

"we've known each other for years. i don't know why you're acting like we haven't met before osamu dazai" the lady interrupted you.

"but it exactly is what you think. aren't you his lover? the person he trusts with his whole life in your hands? i'm surprised he hasn't told you that he was in port mafia," the woman scoffed.

the woman had laid pictures all out for you to look at. it was dazai in a black suit and black coat holding his gun at a lifeless body.

"y/n, it's not what you think-" dazai paused as he looked at you but you interrupted him with a slap across his face.

his face was left with a mark from your hands, you stormed off from the room and headed back to the agency with a heavy heart. you slammed open the agency door and ran to the first person you saw, Atsushi.

"y/n what happend!" atsushi yelped at the surprise you were crying.

"he's so stupid!" you sobbed. atsushi opened his arms and wrapped them around your figure.

"i didn't- i didn't know that" you hiccupped. "i didn't know that he was in port mafia!" you coughed up the words with your tears running down your eyes.

"whaat! dazai was in port mafia?!" atsushi gasped. he hugged you tighter as you sobbed on his shoulders.

"he's so stupid!" you continued as more tears fell down your face. "i- i love him! and i was really stupid-- stupid enough to think that he f-felt the same way!" you continued.

"he's so stupid! he could've sat me down and explained to me what had happened but- but... i had to find it out this way..." you ranted, mumbling your last words.

"and i- i was the last person to k-know!"

atsushi was at a loss for words, he didn't know what to do or what to say. all he could do was offer his arms and his shoulder for you to cry in and on.

you locked yourself in your apartment for about a few days not knowing what was happening outside. you stopped showing up to work because you felt that you needed to avoid dazai.

you went radio silent towards the agency. every now and then atsushi would let himself in and he would make you food, even begging you and feeding you to eat because he knows that you should be eating.

you thought that it was dazai's job to do that, but it was atsushi.

you were hoping that dazai would stop by your apartment to explain what happened that day that woman came to the agency and to clear things up with you and to explain what he did in the past.

you then heard knocking on the door, in excitement and nervousness, you forced yourself up from your living room couch.

you looked thought the peephole to see if dazai was standing out your door, but it was one of the last people you expected to see at your door.

you had no clue about the 3 way war happening either. not until you found kunikida knocking on your door, desperate for you to come out. "y/n please open the door! it's important! it's about the president and dazai," kunikida pleaded.

"y/n.. things are getting serious.." he paused. "dazai got attacked on his mission by a sniper and he's currently undergoing surgery-"

After hearing those words, you felt nothing but guilt.

After Dazai had gotten shot and undergone surgery, he was unconscious for a few days. You couldn't leave his side, you were too worried to be fighting. You worried about him being attacked in the hospital but that was a low possibility of actually happening.

You were sitting in Dazai's hospital room staring at his face hoping and praying that he would wake up soon. It had only been a two days since he's been unconscious and you were starting to get worried for him. Worried that he wouldn't be able to wake up.

Just the thought of not him not being able to wake up, haunted you. you carried the guilt for seeing him the way he was, because he went alone on the mission that was assigned to the both of you.

You got up and sighed, leaving his room to grab a drink from the vending machine down the hallway. You stopped in front of his room and took a seat on the sofa next to his door. You opened up your water bottle, you took a sip, sighed again, and looked up at the ceiling.

You continued to wonder if he was going to wake up soon.

'Only if I had gone' were the words that repeated again and again in your head.

You two weren't together together, but your heart aches at the thought of him being hurt and alone. You sighed again and took another sip before going back into his room.

You walked back into Dazai's room, your jaw hung low and you were shocked. You walked into the room to find Dazai sitting up and his head turning towards the door, finding you standing right in front of him.

You dropped your half-drank water bottle, your heart skipped a beat and all your anxiety was wiped away after seeing him awake.

You ran and wrapped your arms around Dazai's neck, almost knocking him back down to his pillow. "calm down, belladonna" you heard dazai chuckle into your ear.

You felt as if you found your other half again, tears then formed at your eyes, "I'm so glad your awake," You sobbed.

Dazai had never seen you cry before. Seeing you this way was all new to him, he was shocked that you were even there to see him since the last time you two talked was when you both had that one-sided argument.

You blamed yourself for Dazai getting into the condition he was in right now. You blamed yourself day and night even although you knew he was going to be okay (from what the doctors told you), it was just that the guilt couldn't escape you.

"Hey it's okay, I'm okay," He whispered. "I'm here now," he continued. You two pulled away from the hug and Dazai cupped your cheeks and wiped away your tears from falling.

"You dummy," He chuckled, you gave him a warm smile in response. You sat down at the edge of his bed and explained the whole situation to him.

"Shouldn't you be out there fighting with them?"

You shook your head in response, then smiled softly at him. "I really couldn't..." You mumbled. "the moment I heard you were undergoing surgery-"

"My heart started to ache.." You mumbled again.

"Awww! Someone actually does care for me!" Dazai laughed.

"I do not!" you retorted back at him. "You sure do, belladonna"

"I told myself that I wouldn't leave your side until you woke up-" You finally told him. You looked down at the floor and there were tears foaming at your eyes again. The guilt washed over you again and you couldn't even lift your head up to look at dazai.

You clenched your hands into fists then you gripped your skirt, tears started to fall again. "I'm sorry for fighting with you the other day-"

"O-only if I had given you a chance-" You choked on your words. "only if i d-didn't act that way- only if i had gone with you-" You continued to sob, "Only if i had gone with you, you wouldn't be here"

He reached out for your face to cup your cheeks in his hands. He smiled at you then explained to you what he did in port mafia and why he did it. "I'm just really glad that you're here now,"

"to be frank, i'm actually surprised your here to see me, i wasn't expecting you to come since i had a feeling that you would still be mad at m-"

"because" you interrupted him.

"i came because-" you paused, you felt your words clogging up your throat again and you couldn't let them out.

"i came because i love you, dazai!" you finally blurted out as you looked up to see dazai's facial expression. You watched his eyes widen and his ears turn red.

After a few minutes, you expected him to say something but there was just complete silence. Dazai spaced out on your words and it was just repeating in his head.

You grabbed his hand resting your thumb on top of his to caress his hand. "Osamu- please say some-" You paused. He cut you off by pressing his lips against yours, his hand leaving your hand to cup your face.

"Well, you're in luck because I love you too," He admitted, pulling you in for another kiss. Your heart fluttered, you were waiting for the moment you were his and he was yours.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He asked as he pulled you in for another kiss.

"Maybe?" You questioned, smiling into another kiss.

"What do you mean 'maybe'– it's a yes or no question!" Dazai complained as he pouted, crossing his arms right infront of you.

He laid down then patted the empty sppot next to him, he watched you go around his bed and he pulled you up to his head to make you the bigger spoon. You pressed a kiss on his nose and he nuzzled his face into your chest with his arms wrapping around your waist.

a nurse came in to see how dazai was doing, but then quickly left as soon as they realized that he finally had woken up. after a couple of minutes, you and dazai dozed off in eachothers arms.

"DAZAI! I HEARD YOUR AWAKE!" Kunikida yelled as he barged into the room along with atsushi beside him, "Dazai–San! Are you doing better?!" Atsushi asked as they both rushed into his room.

There was no response. Then there it was, silence again. Atsushi analyzed Dazai and the extra figure there. his eyes brightened when they realized you two had made up.

[rainintheevening]

Part I – Part II ... Part IX – Part X

Peter knows the smell of blood, knows the smells of fear, and sweat, and anger.

It's muted as he surfaces to consciousness, but still there, and even before he's opened his eyes, he's loosening his tongue, trying to drag moisture into his mouth, ready to issue orders or reassurance.

“Your majesty,” says a quiet voice, musical and wispy. “Lie still. You have suffered a grievous hurt.”

“Indeed?” he mumbles.

Hurt, wounds, blood… and enough memory returns

“Edmund?” he croaks, prying eyes open to light that seems too sharp, and there is movement, boots on stone, a dark head blotting out some of the light.

“I am here, brother, and unhurt,” Ed says quietly, and Peter would relax, but for the cough that climbs from his dry throat, and then another, and another, wrenching at his abdomen, so that at last he feels the pain, quick and hot.

Ed’s arm is under his head, lifting it just enough to hold a cup to his lips, and half the water ends up elsewhere, but enough gets down his throat to ease the terrible spasms, and he closes his eyes tightly, turns his face into the crook of Edmund's elbow, damp fabric of a sleeve cool against his forehead.

“Your majesty, you were not supposed to wake this soon. The knife carried poison, and my antidote is still taking effect. I have only begun to poultice and bandage the wound.” There is a pained edge in the hare's voice, an apology, but also frustration, towards herself, Peter guesses.

He tries to lighten his voice, but the pain radiating up from his right side is still abhominable, and the hand he holds out to her shakes slightly.

“Peace, Drybones. Continue your work, and I will bear it.”

He lifts his head from Ed’s arm just enough to see the hare take his hand, feels her whiskery kiss brush over his knuckles, before Ed lays him flat again.

“Wait,” he murmurs up at his brother, before the younger king can step away. “What happened to the assassin?”

Ed’s eyes seem to deepen, brown shading to black in their depths, but his expression does not change.

“Dead. But he had a letter in his purse, describing his charge, and we have removed from Lord Alcsace's keep into the town. The people at least are with us.”

“Ah.” Peter's acknowledgement twists into a gasp, chokes off into silence as he clamps his teeth together.

He is fully aware of his body now, and he thinks he can truly feel the battle in his veins, the antidote against the poison, every beat of his heart a strike for one or the other, fire creeping across his abdomen, up to his chest.

“Aslan,” he breathes, screwing his eyes shut, and then cool hands take his, loosen the wild grip he's taken on the sheets beneath him.

Above him Edmund's face blurs, but Peter understands the squeeze of his fingers well enough. He anchors himself to his brother, a sure and steady thing in the haze of agony, setting his teeth against the battle, forgetting to breathe until Ed’s reminder reaches him.

Some interminable time later, the pain begins to ease, and the moment that registers in his mind, he lets go, and tumbles down into the exhausted shade of sleep.

When he wakes, it is to flickering lantern light in the cool of night, the faintest of breezes touching his face from the open window, and he lies still, relishing the quietness in his body, and sniffing at distant jewlberry blossoms and woodsmoke.

A stirring nearby, and he turns his head on the pillow to see Edmund rise from a low stool, where he has been leaning against the wall close by Peter's bed.

“Do not try to rise,” Ed says softly, moving to the table, pouring a cup of water, and Peter smiles a little as the light catches on the clear stream falling from the lip of the jug. “Drybones does well as a healer, but she has none of Lucy's cordial.”

As before, Edmund's arm is strong under his shoulders, and Peter does not try to speak till he has drunk two cups of water and half a third.

“Well,” he murmurs, “I for one am glad our little sister isn't here.”

Ed nods curtly, drifts back to the table to pour a drink for himself. “Thank Aslan. Lord Alcsace knew of her reputation. She would have been their first target.”

Precisely.

“Have you sent any communication home?”

“Only a note with Sunleaf, and she is under orders to answer no questions and return at once. Merely saying we have met with an ill welcome on Lord Alcsace's part, and will make it known if we require aid.”

“Well done,” Peter murmurs, and something in his brother’s back relaxes.

“For now, the common folk hold him at bay,” Edmund adds. “We may either leave with our tails between our legs like kicked puppies, and return later with an army, or stay and attempt something diplomatic. But,” he adds as Peter begins to speak. “I run ahead of us. That debate will wait for the morrow, and our gathered council.”

Peter sighs, lets it go, listens to Ed tapping fingers on the wooden cup, the louder tap of his signet ring. The lamplight edges Edmund's face with gold, and Peter notes the firmness of his jaw, and the dark stubble sprouting there.

A different kind of ache is building in his stomach, catching his attention. “Is there anything to eat?”

Now Edmund smiles properly. “Of course. I'll go see what Courser and Ariane have made. Though,” he adds over his shoulder, halfway out of the room, “you won't be allowed anything thicker than soup for the next day or so.”

“Mane,” Peter mutters after him, just to make that loving smirk grow as Ed stops just outside, turns to confer with what must be some of their retinue on guard.

Peter listens closely, picks out two satyr's voices, Trifon and Kostas, and he wonders where the wolves are; perhaps on patrol outside the house? That was certainly how he would deploy them.

Quite quickly food is brought, and under Drybones’s watchful eye, Edmund props Peter up with a cushion enough for him to eat, with a bowl in his hands, resting it on his chest when he tires. Ed sits on the low bed by his feet, tearing into some very brown but sweet-smelling bread slathered with a white butter, along with some well-salted meat, while Peter is forced to carefully spoon up his own intensely uninteresting soup, though it tastes well enough.

He notes the fervor with which Ed falls to; he must not have taken food in all the time Peter had been sleeping.

The soup is warm and soothing, no doubt infused with a healing physic of one kind or another, and Peter feels himself relaxing again. When it is all cleared and Drybones spreads a grass mat on the floor to Peter's left, the old hare is humming a whispering breezy song, singing not quite under her breath as she stetches out her paws and flops down on her side. Peter's eyes drift shut.

He snaps them open again at the scrape of wood on wood, blinks over at Edmund, taking a seat on his low stool again, sitting on Peter's other side, naked sword laid across his knees.

Only a single lantern remains lit, and shadows play across Ed’s face, making it appear thinner than usual.

“Truly?” Peter asks, sleep thickening and slowing his voice. “You are to sit up when there are guards at the doors, wolves at the windows, and the hare who once bit the head of a mad squirrel clean off is also watching over me?”

Peter ignores the faintly protesting squeak that interrupts Drybones's song, and keeps his eyes on Edmund’s, until his brother looks away.

“I shouldn't have let them separate us,” he murmurs. “I should have been there to protect you.”

Peter glances down at his side, the lump of bandages under his loose shirt at the bottom of his righthand ribs. The attack had come from the right, the place where Edmund was accustomed to stand, where so often Edmund was his shadow and shield, his righteous blade and quiet right hand.

Lord Alcsace had been right to separate them, and Peter had sadly been wrong to give him so much trust. He had turned away from the soldier walking on his right without thinking, and found a dagger buried under his ribs a moment later.

Assassination of the High King of Narnia is no small action to attempt, and Peter only prays to the Lion this will not end in war.

But that is a worry for the morrow.

“You are an ass, Edmund,” Peter grins softly. “I will need you fully alert for tomorrow's council. Do not make me command you to sleep.”

“It may not be my duty to guard you,” Edmund says, eyes drifting around the room, never still, “ but it will always be my honour.”

Peter presses his lips together, and shakes his head just a little. “Then at the least, lie beside me and guard me from there. You cannot argue that will make me even more secure.”

Edmund turns his head, looks straight at Peter as he rolls his eyes in the most un-kingly fashion possible. But he doesn’t argue, he compromises by sitting next to Peter's head, and taking his boots off, leaning back against the wall, stocking feet up on the sheets. He keeps his sword unsheathed.

Peter falls asleep to the clean smells of bandages and ointment, and close by the smell of an oiled mail shirt, leather, and the cool earthy scent of mist that is Edmund. He knows those scents well, and he knows he is safe.

Next

[blancetude]

Perfect Accidents

Jean x GN!Reader

➢𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰: Everyone could see how much Jean cared for you, if only you knew as well.

➢𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: fluff, idiots to lovers

➢𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: nosebleed, some cursing

➢𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.4k

** NOT PROOFREAD **

➢𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

It was a beautiful sunny day in Mondstat, the streets were full with the energetic beckoning of vendors drawing you in with their various goods, a few bards tinkering with their instruments of choice, and the rowdy laughter of some men well into their third cup of wine despite the early afternoon hours.

Among these bustling sounds and music rang the never ending greeting of “Good Afternoon Master Jean and Miss Lisa!” The two women dipped their heads humbly and returned kind greetings, graceful smiles pulling their lips upward.

It wasn’t uncommon to see the two on an afternoon patrol together, especially with the unnerving presence of The Fatui Delegation occupying The Goth Grand Hotel.

The whole city seemed to be on their guard against the visitors, but none more than Acting Grand Master Jean whose own feet seemed to guide her in the direction of the hotel with a smirking Lisa close to her side as she whispered into her friend’s ear, “So when are you going to invite your cute little petal on a stroll?”

Jean’s cheeks darkened almost at a laughably quick rate at Lisa’s mischievous giggle.

“I’m simply patrolling the area, you know that my duties as Acting Grand Mas-“

“Yes yes your duties and honor and such but come on Jean, you’ve been idling about the Hotel like a hopeless little puppy waiting for your little petal to throw you a bone. Sooner or later they’re going to question why Master Jean is paying them and only them special attention.”

Jean shot Lisa a side glare, knowing that the sneaky librarian spoke the truth but would rather keep her pretty mouth shut than admit she was right.

“Like I said, this just a routine patrol, nothing else.”

Almost on cue, the pair caught a glimpse of your fluffy (h/c) hair thrown together loosely in a ponytail, a few curls framing your delicate features.

Jean allowed her eyes to trail down the expanse of your body, shirt rolled up at the sleeves to expose your toned arms as you tossed dirty water from a bucket into the gutter behind the hotel, no doubt you were just finishing up your daily chores.

The thought alone made Jean’s heart clench in admiration, despite being the renowned grandchild of Ludwig Goth with endless mora and connections to your name you stayed so humble and kind, working tirelessly to upkeep the hotel and care for your Grandfather.

Jean worked hard everyday to be in the same reigns as not her Idol Vanessa, but you as well. Your kindness was known throughout the City of Freedom and even beyond with a few important figures in the neighboring city of Liyue singing your praises.

“Oh! Good Afternoon Master Jean and Miss Lisa!” Your velvety sweet voice greeting the pair as they stood before you.

Jean swore she stopped breathing seeing how your brilliant smile pushed your shining eyes into cute crescents, a little dimple sinking into your left cheek that Jean often daydreamed about kissing forever.

“Good Afternoon little petal~” Lisa greeted with her usual teasing glint.

“Our for an afternoon patrol?” You questioned with a small tilt of your head, eyes focused on Jean who still hasn’t responded, staring at your with a dazed look that had you shyly pushing a curl behind your ear. You knew you should have cleaned up a bit more, how embarrassing for Master Jean to see you so disheveled you mentally cursed yourself.

Lisa looked between you two a soft sigh leaving her as she nudged Jean with her elbow, breaking the blonde from her thoughts as she coughed into her hand shyly, shoulders straightening up.

“Oh um yes hello Goth, we have gotten reports of uh monsters lurking near the gates so I personally came to inspect the areas. Is everything okay here? No obvious signs of danger?”

Lisa pressed a slim finger to her chin, “Monsters? My my I didn’t know about this until now?”

Now it was Jean’s turn to elbow the librarian, giving her another warning side glance.

“That sounds awful!” You gasped, a hand coming up to cup over your mouth before you looked away, suddenly deep in thought.

“Is everything alright?” Jean question with concern.

You looked back at the blonde and sighed as you set the bucket down beside you. “I actually had to go to Dawn Winery tomorrow and pick up a few barrels of wine. Those Fatui sure do love to drink.”

“Why put in a commission for someone to transfer to goods directly to the hotel for you? Maybe a few Knights might be able to help as well.” Lisa question making you shake your head with a chuckle.

“Oh I couldn’t take The Knights away from their work, plus the Winery isn’t far from the city I should be able to make it back before supper.” You tapped your chin in thought as you calculated the hours in your head.

“There’s always the issue of the monsters.” You mumbled.

“Master Jean will be happy to escort you!” Lisa smiled wickedly, grabbing her friend’s shoulders and shoving her in your direction.

The blonde managed to catch her footing before she completely crashed into you and made a fool of herself.

“Huh? When did I-“ before Jean could finish her protest you caught both of her hands in yours, your eyes practically sparkling.

“Really? I don’t want to trouble you if you’re too busy Master Jean!” Jean had to look away, heat quickly spreading across her cheeks as your warm hands fit so perfectly in hers and you looked at her as if she hung the very moon in the sky.

“I-I supposed I could help, there’s not much to do tomorrow…”

You and Lisa cheered before you pulled the woman into a quick hug before picking up your bucket and making your way back inside the Hotel just as you heard one of the guests calling for you.

“Then I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow Master Jean! Thank you so much! I have to go back to work now, have a great rest of your day!” You gave a final wave before disappearing into the building leaving a very flushed Jean and snickering Lisa outside.

Jean made her way to the main gates of the city, her head aching and eyelids feeling heavy from her lack of sleep.

She couldn’t help but toss and turn all night, the nervousness and excitement of being able to spend the whole day with just you was enough to have her heart and head racing a million miles a minute.

‘Keep it together Jean, don’t embarrass yourself!’ She internally scolded herself, pointing a finger towards her nose in a curious display.

“Am I interrupting something?” Came your amused chuckle ahead.

Jean’s arms quickly snapped by her side as she collected herself and greeted you a Good Morning.

You stood leaning against the bridges side, your arms crossed over your chest. You had changed out of your usual formal wear into a more casual outfit consisting of an oversized white puffed sleeved shirt and black slacks that clung to all the right places.

Jean had to fight back a gulp as she noticed you’d worn your hair up again in its messy but very enticing style that made her mind short circuit.

She wasn’t sure if she would be able to make it past five minutes with you looking so stunning.

“Good Morning Master Jean.” You smiled politely, the title never sounding so alluring to her before.

“I hope you got enough sleep, I know I could use a few more winks.” You yawned as you led her past the bridge to where two large white horses stood with a large cart strapped to them.

“I sleep well enough.” She said, only half the truth, “Are you sure you wouldn’t want to go back and rest, I’m more than happy to personally escort your goods to the hotel for you.”

You stopped and looked back at her, another one of your dashing smiles on display. “You’re awfully sweet Master Jean but I can’t possibly ask you to do that. It’s already weighing heavy on me that I’m taking you away from your work to accompany me.”

Jean was quick to shake her head, once again insisting that she was here on her own accord (kinda).

The walk to Dawn Winery was for the most part quiet save for the occasional story you told while animatedly waved your arms about and Jean listened, partially too shy to speak and being so mesmerized by your voice to form any words.

“Ah here we are! That was pretty fast.” You smiled to Jean as you both lead the horses to the water stations where Tunner stood inspecting a bucket of newly picked grapes.

“Good Afternoon Tunner!” You called happily catching his attention, “You’re looking very healthy today, I hope the medicine is doing you good.”

“Good Afternoon to you as well! Greetings Master Jean!” The old man welcomed you both cheerfully as he turned away from his work. “I am feeling much better thanks to you my child, I don’t know how to repay you for the medicine trip you took for me. Once these old bones work again I’ll be able to send for it myself.”

Jean looked a bit puzzled at Tunner’s words. You’d been helping take care of Diluc’s staff as well? Her heart couldn’t take how much more wholesome you were.

“Nonsense, the only payment I could ever receive from you Mr. Tunner is to see you as healthy as a horse.” You chuckled, taking Tunner’s slim hand in your own and giving it a friendly squeeze.

“I’m here for my order of wine barrels, is Ernest available?” Tunner nodded and pointed in the direction of the back cellar.

“He just went into the ground cellar for something, you’ll catch him there if you go now.”

You thanked Tunner before turning to Jean. “I’ll go meet Ernest with the barrels, you can watch the horses in the meantime? I won’t be long!”

Jean agreed and watched as you hurried along up the steps of the winery.

Tunner looked between your fleeting figure and Jean’s dreamy gaze with an amused smile.

“Quite a catch that (Y/n) aren’t they Master Jean?” Tunner smiled innocently as he turned back to his work as if he didn’t send blood rising to Jean’s cheeks and ears.

“Oh um, yes uh they are very intriguing indeed.” She coughed into her fist before leading the horses to the hay stacks so they could munch away.

Tunner shook his head and chuckled. “I’d say it’s good a time as ever to tell them how you feel before it’s too late.”

Jean looked back with wide eyes, an awkward laugh leaving her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about Mr. Tunner, Goth and I are friendly acquaintances, nothing more, nothing less.”

Tunner gave the blushing blonde a quirked brow.

“If I may be frank Master Jean, these may be the eyes of a sickly old man but I know the gaze of adoration when I see one. I had the same look when I first saw Guy’s mother. Believe me when I tell you, you’ll only feel this once in a lifetime, don’t let your fear keep you away from the greatest feeling you could be blessed with.”

Jean’s eyes focused back to where you appeared beside Ernest, you two of you laughing loudly at some silly story you’d said, the gentle ring of your laughter being the only sound Jean wants to hear until the end of time.

“But what if they do not feel the same?” Jean half whispered, her shoulders falling a bit as she continued to observe her. “We come from two completely different worlds. What if see me as nothing more than Grand Acting Master Jean?”

Tunner looked ahead as well, his eyes softening at the girls words.

“Nothing in this life is guaranteed, but I can tell you for a fact there are things your eyes have not yet noticed.”

Before Jean could question what the old man had meant you jogged over to the pair, a bit out of breathe as you had just finished Ernest load the barrels into the cart.

“Okay, everything is checked out, we’re free to go! If we leave now we should be back to the city by sunset.” You placed your open palm above your eyes as you squinted at the sun.

“If that is all then we should head off.” Jean said curtly, bidding Tunner a farewell before going to hook the cart back onto the horses once more.

You blinked in Jean’s direction before looking at Tunner questionably.

Tunner simply laughed and waved his hand out. “Just deep in thought, that one. Do visit soon (Y/n), when Guy comes you should join him.”

“I will Tunner, please take care of yourself! Say hello the everyone else for me!” You waved happily before joining a quiet Jean back on the road.

Jean was uncharacteristically silent as you slowly made your way back to the city, her eyes trained onto the ground and her perfectly sculpted brows furrowed as she thought tirelessly about something, an occasional mutter leaving her lips.

You wondered if her conversation with Tunner had anything to do with this. Unless she had overheard your conversation with Ernest earlier?

You began to panic a bit, praying to every archon that she didn’t overhear you gushing about your unrequited love for the Acting Grand Master that only the Dawn Winery employees knew of.

Ernest had teased you mercilessly when he noticed you’d been joined by Jean, going as far as offering you a swig of some liquid courage so you’d finally confess to the Knight.

The idea was so ridiculous you’d both burst into a fit of laughter, quickly shutting up when you noticed Jean and Tunner looking at you through your peripherals.

What if she found out about you affection for her and was disgusted? What if she thought you weren’t worthy, that you were nothing but a helpless child that couldn’t even do a simple cargo task by yourself?

You’d been so deep in your self wallowing that you’d failed to noticed the thick root sticking up from the dirt place below you, the toe of your boots catching onto it sending you tumbling right onto your face.

Jean gasped and immediately stopped the horses, rushing to your aid and helping you sit up.

“Archons (Y/n) are you alright?” Jean worried, her gloved hands holding your face gently as she inspected you for any visible injuries.

With your luck you’d landed right on your nose, a steady stream of blood running over your lips and chin down to your white shirt staining it with a handful of crimson droplets.

“I’m alright! It’s just a little accident no need to fret!” You tried to laugh off the embarrassment only to wince as the pain from your nose blossomed, bringing a few stray tears to your eyes.

“It’s not nothing, stay still so I can stop the bleeding.” Jean sighed, reaching into her pocket and producing a delicate handkerchief Barbara had gifted her a few years back.

You squirmed and tried to pull away, telling her it was really just fine only to have the blonde grip your chin and call your name in that firm voice she used when she scolded the Knights.

You immediately quit your struggle, letting Jean gently blot the blood from your lips, her eyes trailing their soft appearance before snapping out of it and continuing her work.

You weren’t sure if your eyes were playing tricks on you or if it was the impact of the fall making you delusional but you were almost positive Jean had been checking you out.

Deciding it was now or never you let your hand trail up until you cupped it over her own, your fingers gently intertwined with hers as you searched her eyes for any sign of discomfort.

Jean looked down at your hands, a bit flustered by the look in your eyes as she dropped the handkerchief onto her lap.

Tunner’s words replayed over and over in her head as she looked back you, her heart running a mile a minute at how close you both were slowly leaning into each other.

She may be dense at times but it didn’t take a genius to feel the tension between you, so many unspoken words flowing between your lips as you inched closer and closer.

Tunner was right, it was now or never.

You seemed to have the same thoughts as the blonde when you both surged foreword only to smack both your foreheads and noses together, sending you flying back cursing loudly as your hands cupped over your nose.

“(Y/n)! Oh my Archons I’m so sorry!!” Jean rushed over to your rolling form, knees drawn up as you tried to override the pain.

“Fuck! Shit!” You hissed, finally stopping your flailing before collapsing onto your back, Jean coming to straddle you without a second thought.

“(Y/n) I’m so so sorry, I didn’t meant it!” She sounded close to tears as she went to hold the soiled handkerchief to your nose again.

“It’s fine- fuck, it’s okay Jean I’m okay-“ you breathed, your heart breaking as her ocean eyes began to fill with tears at the thought of hurting you further.

“No really I’m okay, it was my fault for being too eager. You did nothing wrong, I’m alive aren’t I?” You tried to laugh through the throbbing pain, trying so hard not to think too hard at the feeling of her plush thighs caging you to the ground.

“No it was my fault, I thought that we were going to- nevermind, does it still hurt?”

You perked up at her words, the pain suddenly the last thing on your mind as you shot up, your hands quickly holding onto the blonde’s waist to keep her from falling back.

Jean yelped as you arose at the speed of light, her hands quickly grabbing onto your shoulders.

Another wave of heat attacked her cheeks as she took in the fact that she was perched so nicely in your lap.

“So I wasn’t wrong?” You smiled wildly, your hands gripping her waist tighter as you leaned in with excitement. “You feel the same way about me?”

Jean looked down at you in shock, her mind trying to process your words as your eyes practically sparkled with every star in anticipation.

“U-Um? I think s-so?” Jean tried to speak out. “As friends you mean? Or maybe s-something else-“

The word vomit couldn’t stop, Jean continued to ramble in panic as your gaze softened.

One arm tightened around the Knight’s waist while the other cupped her cheek and pulled her down till your lips gently slotting with her soft ones, effectively silencing her rambling.

Jean practically turned into putty as she leaned into the sweet kiss, her taunt muscles relaxing into your hold as you held her so lovingly she thought she’d float away.

You both eventually pulled away, both mirroring soft smiles as you reveled in the comfortable silence.

“I hope that answers any questions you had?” You teased playfully as Jean laughed picking a twig out of your hair.

“Hm, I don’t know. I think you could have been a little more clear?”

“How about we head back to the city so I can be a little more direct?” You wiggled your eyebrows at the flushed girl as she giggled and wiggled to free herself from your grasp.

“We need to get you back so the sisters can treat your wounds, don’t give me that look.” She held her hand out to help you up as you sat like a pouting child denied candy.

“But it was just getting fun, come on Master Jean.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself (Y/n) Goth, you need to get checked up.” Jean firmly stated, using her Master voice.

You quickly got up at attention flinging your arms around her neck with a pout.

“Don’t use that voice with me, I won’t be able to keep still.”

Jean snorted and shook her head at your words not knowing if she could handle any more of your flirting.

“Come on before it gets too dark. Big scary monsters are lurking around remember?”

You gave up and went to guide the horses back to the gates, unsatisfied.

“Promise we can cuddle after this?”

“Knights honor.”

[callmepio]

- we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

[zigzagspam]

I’m dumping my Doctor who (Oc?) fanfiction on y’all and then going to bed so I don’t have time to be embarrassed. Fair warning actual writing quality is probably mediocre at best because I’m rusty.

Basic idea is that the Doctor is regenerating and his(her) current companion is not very happy about it.

———————————————————————

“DOCTOR!?”

Two women burst through wooden blue doors out of breath and panicked. One, a brunette limped toward a console in the center of the room and the other, a blonde rushed after her, frantic.

“DOCTOR SLOW DOWN YOU’RE INJURED!!” The blond screeched as she lurched forward to catch up with the other woman

“I’m more than injured, Marley” The Doctor said wryly, turning to slump down against the console. Her words carried a humor to them despite the dark implication.

“What are you saying?” Marley said crouching down to meet the Doctor’s eye level.” The medbay is only but a couple paces away. I can, I can get you patched up!” Marley stammered as she reached out to grab the Doctor’s wrist with her shaking hands.

“No, the Viramoth’s toxins are too far into my bloodstream now.” The Doctor let out a weak cough as if all the air had just been taken from her lungs. “My nervous system should be completely shut down within the next minute and a half.”

“Your nervous system? No! Doctor you can’t die now! I’ve watched you survive so much worse.” Marley took notice of her companion’s state. Clammy skin, racing pulse, labored breath’s and a brow beaded with sweat. The Doctor was right, the poison transferred from the gash on her left arm was killing her, and quickly.

“Shhh shh- It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“Timelords, we keep a little trick up our sleeve for moments like this.“

“What? What could yo-“

Before Marley had a chance to finish her sentence she noticed what seemed like gold glowing dust particles start to emerge and cover the Doctor. They were stunning yet sorrowful in a way that she couldn’t quite explain.

“I’ll survive but I might not look the same, or be the same as you remember me now. I’ll still be me of course, just different.”

The Doctor, felt a wave of pain and nausea wash over her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tilt her head up to lean back further on the console.

“Different?! Doctor you can’t. You can’t just SPRING this on me! You’re saying that you’re going to change into a whole other person yet still be you??” Marley felt tears pricking at her eyes, threatening to spill over. This wasn’t any better than death, she thought. Her beloved Doctor, the one who she had grown the know so intimately, was being replaced by a stranger! “You can’t…”

She hung her head for a second as she squeezed the doctor’s wrist.

“I’m sorry Marley.”

The Doctor shifted her head back down to try and make eye contact with Marley. “If I had a choice…”

“Heaven’s, I wish I could just stay with you as I am, continue looking at you with these eyes. It almost feels selfish to think.”

The Doctor raised a hand to cup her companions cheek.

Marley met the Doctor’s gaze, eyes red from crying. “Well if this is that last time I’m going to see your face, this face…” Marley trailed off as she looks at the doctor. Her eyebrows knitted and she let out a breath before lunging forward to press her lips to the other Woman’s.

Golden light illuminates them both, bright enough so that even if they opened their eyes neither would be able to see the other. Beneath the gleaming mist Marley could feel the doctor’s hand shift to the back of her head and her head tilted to kiss Marley back. It wasn’t until the light had died down and subsided that Marley noticed that her neck was positioned back into a very awkward and uncomfortable angle. Had the Doctor gotten taller?

After a second Marley finally broke away from the kiss and opened her eyes. A gasp escaped her as she saw what was now a Raven haired man sitting in front of her. Her face flushed and she scrambled backwards, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Being told exactly what was about to happen didn’t make the sight any less shocking.

“What’s the matter?”

“Am I ugly?”

———————————————————————

The Doctor was now a dark haired, green eyed, pale, and slender man. His facial features were long yet delicate like a raven’s sculpted from marble. His skin was nearly flawless and his hair swooped naturally to the right. His clothes, now a size too small, clung to his body uncomfortably. He turned around and pressed his hands down onto the lip of the center console as a way to push him off of the ground. His arms and legs trembled beneath his weight as if they were too frail to carry him. He made his way over to a full body mirror in a corner of the room leaning on miscellaneous furniture and walls to insure he didn’t topple over. Marley made a mental note that it made total since that someone who had just died would have a hard time walking.

“Doctor?” Marley called out hesitantly.

“Well this is a sight isn’t it! I haven’t been this tall in a good while. And the hair too, still not ginger but it sure is pretty.” The Doctor twisted and twirled around in the mirror like a young girl trying on her Sunday’s best.

“Doctor!” Marley repeated more sternly.

The Doctor turned toward Marley and away from the mirror seeming quite content with his new form.

“…It is you right?” Marley asked timidly. the thought that she may now be trapped in a timeless void with a strange man was not appealing.

“Oh I’m sorry dear I should go get changed. You shouldn’t have to see me so unsightly like this.” The Doctor attempted to make a move towards the hallway but was halted by him limbs once again struggling to keep up with the rest of his body.

“That doesn’t answer my question!” Marley could feel her temper starting to boil but it was quickly extinguished when she noticed the Doctor about to topple over. Instinctively she rushed over to support him.

“Should you even be walking right now?”

The Doctor only answered her with a sly smile. “How about after I get dress we pop over to your home planet? Say nineteen seventy… err one?”

“Oh you are just as insufferable as the first day I met you.” Marley huffed letting go of the Doctor. Part of her hoped he’d lose his balance and face plant into the deck of the ship.

“I’ll be back in a tick!” The Doctor gave Marley a small pat on the back before once again making his way out of the room.

Back in a tick? Since when had the Doctor started saying that? Marley questioned as she waited for his return. As she stood in silence she started to wonder what this new form meant for the future, and what I meant for their relationship. Oh goodness she had kissed him! She’d kissed him and now he was acting like it never even happened. Sure maybe it was just that the whole new body thing was more pressing but she thought he would have at least mentioned it. Panic started to to consume Marley but before it got a chance the Doctor came back into the room with a flourish.

“What do you think?”

The Doctor was now wearing an open pink collar shirt, well fitted black pants with white threading, some matte black dress shoes and was carrying a simple wooden cake with a golden raven skull on the handle. His shirt shimmered almost iridescently, turning blue briefly when the light hit it.

“You look… utterly ridiculous.” Marley tried to keep a straight face but a twitching at the corners of her mouth betrayed her.

“You think I look handsome.”

“I most certainly do not.”

“Oh come on, not even a little bit?”

Marley folded her arms and squeezed her lips into a line in one final attempt to keep her composure. “Go on, do a little spin.”

[autoneurotic]

travelling swallowing dramamine feeling spaced breathing out listerine i’d said what i’d said that i’d tell you that you’d killed the better part of me i’ve said what i said and you know what i mean, but i still can’t focus on anything we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

travelling swallowing dramamine look at your face look you’re killed in a dream and you think you’ve figured out everything (i think i know my geography pretty damn well) you say what you need so you’ll get more, if you could just milk it for everything ive said what i said and you know what i mean

but i still can’t focus on anything

[bloodyethanol]

but i still can't focus on anything

we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

[againstdying]

i still cant focus on anything we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves 😐

[ashewintercpu]

Chapter 6 Dead in the water part 1

I was sitting on a stool next to Dean watching him circle obituaries in the newspaper.

I sighed in boredom and lowered my head onto my hand. The three of us were currently staying in a place called "The Lynnwood Inn". Dean and I finished eating and we were just waiting for Sammy. 

I continued to watch Dean circle obituaries when an attractive blonde waitress approached us. 

"Can I get you anything else?" She flirted with a seductive smile on her face. 

Dean, Dad, and I tried not to make too much of a fuss or a scene during a hunt. We didn't want random people snooping in our business. It would only cause us more trouble. So Dean and I usually try to keep our relationship private. Because Dad didn't want us to draw attention so we promised that in public we would continue to pretend to be siblings. It was just more convenient for us. Dean of course was never one to follow that rule. 

I hated it when girls flirted with Dean and there was nothing I could do about it. It was girls like her that I couldn't help but feel jealous of. She was blonde, in a revealing pink tank top, and wearing jean shorts that barely covered her bottom. She was beautiful. Man's greatest weakness. 

Before Dean could reply I lifted my head out of my hand, "How about the check? Thanks." I replied snarkily with a smile. 

"Okay." She answered and walked away but not without taking one last glance at Dean. 

I huffed and propped my head against my hand as I watched her walk away. I glanced at my clothes comparing myself to the scantily dressed waitress. I was wearing a plain white long-sleeve shirt, a black leather jacket, and a black miniskirt with leggings underneath. 

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt someone watching me and from the corner of my eye, I could see Dean staring at me. I turned my attention over to him. He was grinning from ear to ear with a pen in his mouth. 

"What are you looking at?" I asked with my brows furrowed. 

"You're jealous." He smirked. 

"I don't know what you are talking about." I innocently said as I crossed my arms and turned away from him. 

I felt his hand grab onto my shoulder and before I knew it he pulled me into his chest. I laid my head against his chest with his right arm wrapped around me. I tilted my head back to look at him. 

"What are you doing?" I asked. He didn't reply, he only lifted me onto his lap and made me face him. 

My legs hung out from the side as he had one hand wrapped around my back and the other cradled my head, "You're cute when you're jealous." He whispered. 

"I told you I-" He pulled me into a kiss before I could finish my sentence. 

He caught me off guard and I tensed when I first felt his lips but soon enough I melted into him. With a soft sigh, I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. My mind felt hazy, I couldn't focus on anything other than the man in front of me. I felt shivers go down my spine as he continued to kiss me and caress my body. I placed one hand on his cheek and pulled back slightly to take a breath. I looked into his emerald eyes and couldn't help but be drawn by them. No matter how many times I've looked into his eyes, I could be with him for an eternity, and I'd still get lost in them. He lightly pecked my lips but before he could go any further I heard someone cough from behind us. 

I raised my head and I saw Sam standing behind us. I felt blood rush to my face. I quickly squeezed Dean's shoulders and buried my face into his chest. I felt so embarrassed. I got so distracted by Dean I completely forgot we were in a public place. I immediately got out of Dean's lap and scurried back to my seat. 

I heard Dean sigh as I left his embrace. I was so mortified I wished the earth would swallow me whole. I felt Sam's presence next to me as I wallowed in shame. I covered my face to hide from Sam's penetrating, humiliating gaze. 

"You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while." Dean groaned. "This is fun." I felt Dean gesture toward him and me. 

Once I had composed myself I brought myself out of my pit of shame and turned to face Sam and Dean. 

"Here, take a look at this. Think I got one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Last week, Sophie Carlton, eighteen, walks into the lake, doesn't walk out. Authorities dragged the water, nothing. Sophie Carlton is the third Lake Manitoc drowning this year. None of the other bodies were found either. They had a funeral two days ago." Dean explained to us as he showed us the newspaper. 

"A funeral?" Sammy questioned. 

"Without the body?" I asked as I furrowed my brows. 

"Yeah, it's weird, they buried an empty coffin. For, uh, closure or whatever." Dean clarified. 

"Closure? What closure? People don't just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them." Sam scowled. 

"Sam!" I yelped.

"What." He snapped as he lightly glared at me. I couldn't help but sigh and look away. I knew that this wasn't about the case but about Dad. 

"Something you want to say to me?" Dean asked as he looked at Sam. I slowly lowered my head. It was at times like these I hated sitting in between them. 

"The trail for Dad. It's getting colder every day." Sammy said exasperatedly. 

"Exactly. So what are we supposed to do?" Dean questioned as I sunk further into my seat. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed as they continued to argue. 

"I don't know. Something. Anything." Sammy complained. 

"You know what? I'm sick of this attitude. You don't think I wanna find Dad as much as you do?" Dean snapped. 

"Yeah, I know you do, It's just-" Dean cut him off as they continued to argue. I could feel myself get more frustrated as they fought. 

"I'm the one that's been with him every single day for the past two years, while you've been off to college going to pep rallies. We will find Dad, but until then we're going to kill everything bad between here and there, okay?" I knew I had to intervene before someone said something they would regret. 

"Okay, that's enough," I said before they could say anything else and I lifted my head to look at both of them. They both stop and looked in the opposite direction of the other. 

"Sammy, you need to show some respect to Dean. He's your older brother and he's only trying to do what's best for you. Nothing is going to come out of fighting." I explained as I placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"As for you," I said and turned to Dean, "Try to be nicer to Sammy. We might be used to this but Sammy is going through a rough time. This isn't any easier on him."

"Do I make myself clear?" I asked. I only got a grunt in response. Dean suddenly pulled me into his chest once again and placed his head on my neck. 

I placed my hand on his head as I felt him lightly kiss my neck, "All right, Lake Manitoc. Hey!" Sammy called out trying to gain our attention. 

"Huh?" Dean said as he lifted his head from my neck. 

"How far?" Sammy asked. 

The three of us drove off and soon enough when I looked outside the window we passed by a sign that read "Welcome to Lake Manitoc WI." 

Before I knew it we were pulling up in front of a house and Baby's engine stops. Dean and Sam got out first but before I could even move Dean open the door for me and placed his hand out for me. 

I reached for Dean's hand as he helped me out of the car, "What gentleman." I laughed as Dean placed a kiss on my hand. 

Sammy coughed and gestured to the house, "Come on." I said as Dean and I walked toward the house with Sammy. 

Dean knocked on the door before someone came to open the door.

"Will Carlton?" Dean queried. 

"Yeah, that's right." The man answered. 

"I'm Agent Ford, this is Agent Hamil and this is Agent Fisher. We´re with the U.S. Wildlife Service." Dean said as he held up his fake ID. 

He looked to inspect the ID and once he was satisfied, he gestured for us to follow him. We followed him as he brought us to the lake. In the distance, we could see an old man sitting on a bench on the dock. I couldn't help but pity the man as he stared at the lake. 

"She was about a hundred yards out. That's where she got dragged down." Will told us as he looked at the lake. 

"And you're sure she didn't just drown?" Dean questioned. 

"Yeah, she was a varsity swimmer. She practically grew up in that lake. She was as safe out there as in her own bathtub." Will replied, glancing at the lake every so often. 

"So no splashing? No signs of distress?" Sammy inquired. 

"No, that's what I'm telling you," Will said. 

"Did you see any shadows in the water? Maybe some dark shape breach the surface." Sammy continued to prod. 

"No, I–Again. She was really far out there." Will explained. 

"You ever see any strange tracks by the shoreline?" Dean asked as I continued to take mental notes. 

"No, Never. Why? Why, what do you think's out there?" Will asked, concerned. 

"Well let you know as soon as we do," Dean replied and started to head back to the car. 

Before I could follow Dean, Sam asked, "What about your father?" 

I turned to look at the poor man sitting at the dock. He didn't seem to be in the right state of mind. But who could blame him? He had just lost his daughter. 

"Can we talk to him?" Sammy queried. 

Will turned to look at his father before responding, "Look, if you don't mind, I mean...he didn't see anything, and he's kind of been through a lot." 

"We understand," Sammy said before walking back to the Impala.

"Our condolences," I whispered as I placed a hand on his shoulder before following Sam and Dean. 

"Now, I'm sorry, but why does the Wildlife Service care about an accidental drowning?" The sheriff asked. The three of us were currently at the police station searching for more clues. 

"You sure it's accidental? Will Carlton saw something grab his sister." Sammy questioned.

"Like what?" The sheriff queried "Here, sit, please. There are no indigenous carnivores in that lake." He explained as we walked into his office and sat down. 

"There's nothing even big enough to pull down a person unless it was the Loch Ness Monster." The sheriff jested.

"Yeah. Right." Dean laughed as we glanced at one another. 

"Sir, we just want to be thorough. You can never be too sure." I lied with a professional smile on my face. 

"Will Carlton was traumatized, and sometimes the mind plays tricks. Still-" He said as he sat down, "We dragged that entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just to be sure, and there was nothing down there."

"That's weird, though. I mean, that's the third missing body this year." Dean mentioned. 

"I know. These are people from my town. These are people I care about." The sheriff whispered with a downcasted look on his face. 

"I know," Dean replied, his voice laced with sympathy. 

The sheriff sighed as he leaned back into his chair, "Anyway...All this...It won't be a problem much longer."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked as I raised a brow. 

"Well, the dam, of course." The sheriff said nonchalantly. 

"Of course. The dam. It, uh yeah, sprung a leak." Dean stammered slightly as he improvised. 

"It's falling apart, and the feds won't give us the grant to repair it, so they've opened the spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that." The sheriff clarified. 

"Exactly," Dean said in agreement as we heard a knock on the door. 

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" I turned and stood up to see a young woman ask, "I can come back later."

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is my daughter." The sheriff introduced her as he stood up.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Dean." Dean said as he walked over to her and put his out for her to shake with his signature smirk on his face. 

"Andrea Barr. Hi," She replied as she shook his hand. 

"Hi," Dean repeated.

I folded my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes at Dean, "He's really pushing my buttons today." I thought.

"They're from the Wildlife Service. About the lake." The sheriff told Andrea. 

"Oh." She whispered with a somber look. I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brows as I looked at her. That was a weird reaction. As I was studying Andrea, a boy walked from behind her. 

My eyes softened as I stared at the boy. I always wanted and dreamed of a child of my own one day. My dreams were eventually crushed when I realized that my lifestyle could never support them.  when I was younger I prayed that I would be fortunate enough to one day be blessed to have a child like my parents. But I would never want an everyday life I was more than content and satisfied with the hunter life I was given.

"Oh, hey there. What's your name?" Dean asked but the boy left the room without even uttering a word. I smiled sadly as I watched him walk off. Andrea soon followed the boy. 

"His name is Lucas." The sheriff answered. 

From inside the office we watched Andrea gingerly give Lucas some crayons. Sammy then asked, "Is he okay?" 

We turned to look at the sheriff for a reply, "My grandsons been through a lot. We all have."

"Well, if there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know." The sheriff said as we all walked out of the office. 

"Thanks." Dean said before he turned around and asked, "You know, now you mentioned it, could you point us in the direction of a reasonably priced motel?" 

"Lakefront Motel. Go around the corner. It's about two blocks up." Andrea turned around and answered.

"Two-would you mind showing us?" Dean innocently queried with a small smile. 

Andrea laughed with an incredulous look on her face, "You want me to walk you two blocks?" 

"If you don't mind, of course. He isn't exactly the best with directions" I said from behind Dean with a cheeky smile and a hand on his shoulder, "and having a lovely lady around wouldn't hurt either." I smiled.

"Then they definitely don't need me with you around." She laughed, "But I'm headed that way anyway." 

Andrea turned to her father and said, "I'll be back to pick up Lucas at three." 

She then turned to Lucas, "Well go to the park, okay, sweetie?" she said and kissed his forehead. 

Andrea walked passed us as she left the station. Dean waved goodbye as we left. 

"Thanks again," Sammy said as I took one more glance at Lucas before following them. 

I walked next to Andrea, Dean, and Sammy right behind us, as she lead us along the street. 

"So, cute kid," Dean mentioned, trying to make small talk. 

"Thanks." She replied as we crossed a street. 

"He seems like a sweet kid." I chirped with a smile. 

"He is." She beamed at the mention of him. 

"Kids are the best, huh?" Dean said trying to grasp at straws to make small talk. Andrea glanced at him and I couldn't help but giggle as she ignored him. 

"What's it like? Being a mother I mean?" I offhandedly asked, sheepishly, "You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable, of course." I blurted out, slightly embarrassed. 

"No, no. Being a mother is a lot of adjustments. You are no longer just living for yourself or your husband but for your child. You would sacrifice your entire being and gladly do it all over again just for them to be happy. There's nothing else like it in the world." She answered passionately as I just stared at her. 

"I know that look." She pointed out. 

"W-what look." I stuttered out, surprised as my eyes widened. 

"The look. When do you plan to have children." She queried as we continued to walk. 

I could hear Dean choke on air from behind us. I sighed, "Uh, unfortunately, my career isn't the most conducive for children." I smiled sadly. 

"That's a shame. I didn't think being in the Wildlife service would be that demanding." She commented. 

"Ah, y-yeah. It's a tough job." I mumbled as we finally came to a stop in front of a building that said ‘LAKEFRONT MOTEL’. 

"There it is. Like I said, two blocks." She said.

"Thanks," Sammy said

"Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line." She sassed as she looked at Dean and started to walk away. Unable to contain my laughter I bursted out laughing in shock. 

"Enjoy your stay oh and by the way instead of trying your luck with me, you should keep a tighter watch on her." She called back over her shoulder as she motioned to me. I raised an eyebrow, confused. 

I giggled and leaned back into Dean as we watched her walk away. I felt him wrap his arms around me as I tilted my head back to look at him. 

"Kids are the best? That's the best you could come up with." I chuckled. 

"You don't even like kids," Sammy added. 

Dean turned to look at Sam and exclaimed, "I love kids."

"Name three kids that you even know." Sammy retorted as I watched in amusement. 

"I can see two kids in front of me right now." I snickered as they both glared at me.

I turned my head and watched Dean as he racked his brain for an answer. When he came empty-handed Sammy waved his hand and started to walk into the motel. 

"Im thinking!" Dean yelled out as he scratched his head. I giggled at his response and moved to follow Sammy when I was immediately pulled back into his arms. 

"Oof! What was that for?" I breathed out, confused. 

"You heard what the lady said. I should keep a tighter watch on you." Dean smirked as tightened his grip around me.

"Ha ha very funny. You and I know that's not what she meant. I swear you have been pushing my buttons all day." I remarked as I rolled my eyes at him. 

"Hey, I can't help it. Look at this face." He replied sarcastically 

"Oh, don't worry I totally understand," I whispered as I snaked my arms around his neck.

I pulled him closer and brought his face down to my height. He was so close that I feel his breath and his lips were feathered over mine. I stared into his eyes and just as he leaned in I pulled away. 

He looked at me confused. I ran one of my hands through his hair, the other traced his lips and I whispered in his ear, "Just remember I don't share, and don't expect any kisses anytime soon." 

Once I felt his grip loosen I pulled out of his arms and started walking to the motel. I heard footsteps from behind me and Dean shouting, "What? Sweetheart!"

"That's your punishment," I said as I turned to look at him and continue walking to the motel, "Sammy wait for me!"

"Sweetheart!"

[sexcromancy]

Moosic: 6, 36, 49, 81

6. DRAMAMINE BY MODEST MOUSE 🖤 I love modest mouse so much and had a big (re)surge of my love for them and especially this song, which is sampled/referenced in a favorite car seat headrest song (the ending of Dramamine). their lyrics are so strong and specific and punchy, and the production on this album specifically is addictive to me. songs I could for real listen to non stop. we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves !

36. time after time cover by iron and wine. if you're reading this listen to this song. beautiful simple emotional cover. I add it to basically all my romantic playlists

81. you're crashing but you're no wave by fall out boy. I could literally not tell you anything about this song it's just on here bc I had the back half of this album on repeat while I was obsessed with bang the doldrums and the magnetic power of Mikey way.

49. make everyone happy/mechanical birds by modest mouse. off the same album as Dramamine and equally compelling. one of those songs that's 6 minutes long but has very sparse and simple lyrics, which I find very brave and cool! I'm not sure who I am. but I know who I've been :)

[wearyennui]

we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

[soul-kiitchen]

we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

[marys2ndson]

you either understand we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves or not like i was shocked to find out after years of being w my girlfriend that she wouldn’t be willing to share a toothbrush w me. that’s crazy to me. like we fuck each other. but a toothbrush is off limits??