#THE WOMAN STARTED A LITERAL MAGICAL LEGEND OUT OF THE SONG SHE AND HER DEAD SON SHARED FOR A MULTI CENTURY LONG GRIFT

[xmascritter]

Conmen conwomen solidarity

[7soulstars]

Is it okay if I request a Thranduil x Reader one shot where the reader is a Selkie? Selkies are from Scottish myth - they have a magical seal fur coat that lets them turn into a seal when they go underwater, but remain human while on land.

Hey babe! Thank you so much for requesting! Of course it’s okay. I had no idea what a selkie was in the beginning but through your explaination and some research I figured it out ! Again, I wanted to make this an angst but poor bby Thranduil has already gone through enough so I made it soft. Anyways, no more spoliers! Enjoy and thank you for being so patient with me ! 

Vespertine/ The Elf and the Selkie

Pairing: Thranduil x Selkie! Reader

Warnings: Angsty/Sad start, Mentions of death,Use of Scots(language spoken by Selkies), ending might make you go aww

Summary: A father telling his children a story of the legends long forgotten.

.................

 Vespertine; Occurring in the evening.

Lands lost, Kingdoms fell, Middle Earth was saved but no one could tell. The pain, people lost and the children snatched could not be reversed. Especially for the elves who left for the undying lands. 

One remained.

King Thranduil remained. Protests were made, the lords argued and urged. But he wouldn’t budge.

“There is nothing left of me...My duty is over and my family is not returning back to me...I shall stay here.....in Mirkwood”, he had simply stated to Elrond before he dismissed him. Elrond had sighed saying, “This will not end well for you....”,before leaving the former king. 

Alone.

He sat on his throne listlessly. Not a sound to be heard. No chittering crowds, no parties. Just emptiness. 14 years had passed like this and Thranduil had gotten used to it. Today marking the 14th year that is. 

Time flew by fast for elves. But not for lonely elves. No matter how beautifully maintained all of Mirkwood still was due to unbroken elven magic the gap kept growing wider in the King’s heart. He was left to his own disposition. He grew and foraged his own food, he drew his own water, he entertained himself with his own hobbies. But he never left Mirkwood. He protected the empty abandoned city.

He got used to it. He got used to being lonely until that one evening.

Thranduil killed spiders at evening. They were weaker by then and it was easier. He walked across the tangled path and froze on hearing whimpers. They were soft and pained coming from the rocks near the forest riverbank. The blone walked stealthily and carefully with sword in his hands and furrowed brows as he neared the rocks. When his eyes fell on the cause of the noise as he stopped dead in his tracks.

An injured seal.

It’s side was deeply cut into as it barely managed to keep it’s eyes open and tried to move away erratically from the said elf as if it was in danger. “Hey! Stop! I’m not going to hurt you!”, the elf yell-whispered as he struggled to keep the creature in place.Almost as if it understood it stopped still whining due to the pain inflicted by moving around before it fainted. Thranduil sighed. He hadn’t used healing for years he wasn’t sure he could do it now either. But leaving the seal injured was not an option. So he had to do it. 

He did.

Riding his loyal elk that had stayed with him he returned back to the nearest cave where he had healed and left the seal. 

It was empty.

Thranduil had frowned. Thinking it had left he turned only to stop and look back with a sword swinging back as he heard a spash and a soft voice.

“Are ye an elf ?”,voice asked. Thranduil looked down, behind the rock he had seen the seal in, peeped a woman. She was clutching onto a seal coat as she looked visibly scared at the sword drawn at her which the king immediately put back into it’s sheath. At this she came out furthermore as she pointed at the reddish scar on her side. “ye helpit me yesterday ?”, she questioned her eyes gleaming with an undefined innocence. 

Oh.

He had heard of a Selkie before but merely as myths. His mother sang him the song of the Mistress and The Selkie every night as a young ellon.It was his favourite. Thranduil looked back at the seal coat she held and then back at her. She gasps and immediately hides it behind her back as she attempts to look mad at the other. Thranduil’s heart felt weird. It fluttered at her action. 14 years without any contact with anyone made him forget the stern way of speaking that he had to maintain.

“I will not take it from you. I am here to see if you are felling better. Did you eat?”, he asked as he kneeled in front of her. She looked at him with intent in her eyes. Reaching forward she placed her wet hands on the king’s cheeks catching him off guard. “Wh-”

“Ye savit ma life from the human sailors”, she smiled softly.

Thranduil frowned in distaste he hadn’t heard the word ‘human’ in Valar knows how many years and it still leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He looked at her. Her facial features. Her blown out eyes. Her curiosity.

Her curiosity.

He was cut out of his thoughts of course a shade of pick dusting his face as he stuttered when she had moved to touch his sensitive elf ears. “A like yer ears ye are sae beautiful.” Thranduil had stilled and mentally yelled at himself because he knew she did not know elven customs but he let her do as she pleases.

The sky got darker and he knew he had to leave. But her words replayed in head over and over again

“Will ye come back tomorrow ?”

As if he could hear her speaking right as he sleeps.

Oh. She is alone too....

Thranduil did go back. Again and again and again for 30 years, every day straight. Her name was Y/N and her husband was killed by sailors and their daughter, taken away. She ran into hiding and reached Mirkwood where he saved her. They grew closer. Maybe because Thranduil liked Y/N.

Maybe because she was just like him or maybe he was in love.

He sat by the riverbank with Y/N who wore his spare clothes when she took her human form as they watched the birds and made flower crowns. Thranduil was distracted, constantly looking at the selkie’s expressions as she concentrated on making a flowercrown with water lilies from the river. On finishing she looked at him with the eyes he adored. “Look!”,she exclaimed as she put it on his elks head as it leaned towards her. It was attatched to her just the way it was attatched to Thranduil which was surprising to say the least. A smile plastered onto his face as the words slipped from his mouth. “It’s beautiful. Just like you.” There was a brief silence as Y/N slowly shifted. Her words almost going unnoticed as she stuttered. “Dinnae give me false hope.....” That moment Thranduil realized,

He was absolutely enamored by her.

He didn’t wait for even a minute more of thought before catching Y/N’s lips with his own in a searing kiss. It wasn’t too long or too less. Just right like them. But Y/N drew back and a look of panic spread Thanduil as he saw her eyes full of tears. “Please do not cry! Is it something I did Y/N ?”, he said as he tried wiping her tears frantically.

“A cannot leave the water for a long time A will aye have tae come back thon is a selkie's fate. A cannot stop lovin ye either or A will dee a selkie's fate“ (I cannot leave the sea for a long time i will always have to come back that is a selkie's fate. I cannot stop loving you either or I will die a selkie's fate”

Oh.

Thranduil knew what that meant now. He had felt it before, Y/N did too and so did Tauriel. The fear that he never wanted anyone to feel again.

“Oh darling you do not need to leave the water for us to be together. I will always be here. You could even spend time with me here”,pointed towards the forest path reaching up towards the palace, “Don’t stop loving me....please....”

For the first time ever Elrond’s prediction was wrong. 

Thranduil did not end up alone. He got a second chance.In life, in family

“Did they meet like that forever Ada?”

Well, yes,until someone with blonde long hair wearing a green tunic and with strikingly similar features as her lover gave Y/N a seal coat from a late Selkie.

“So did grand adar become like the Maiden from the song and went away with grand naneth?”

Mhmm. And the someone who gave the coat looked over them from far until he got the courage to visit for tea. And they all lived happily ever after. It’s almost Vespertine, your grandparents will be back soon.

“Legolas have you been telling her about us again ?”

Well Ada she did want to know the legend of the Elf and the Selkie who loved at Vespertine.

--The End--

I hope this is good I hope this is good please be good. I really worked so hard on this I created an entire novel worthy plot but I couldn’t put it all in a oneshot so I had to settle with this I really really hope you liked this it was soo hard to not make this sad and then I came across this song and everything just fell into thoughts like these😭. I know Thranduil is a bit ooc but pychologicaly speaking he did live alone for 14 years so I guessed it may change his behaviour especially after the battle of 5 armies. Again I really hope you like it. Please like, share and comment if you like my work to support and encourage me! Please do not plagarize my work I literally sell my soul to it.🥺🥺 Requests are always open and I love ya’ll soo much. 

~Love, Hri 🥰🥰

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

OISIN - 4* CASTER - PROFILE

Under the read more!

Summon: “My name is Oisin. I am a poet – and now, I am your Caster-class Servant. Though our time together won’t last forever, I’m glad to meet you, Master."

Initial Information:

A beautiful poet, blessed with eternal youth and wisdom. Though he is a great knight, he is most famous for his silver tongue, which has preserved the legends of many heroes in what is now called the "Fenian" or "Ossianic" Cycle of Irish mythology.

Passive Skills

Territory Creation A

Item Construction C

Divinity C

Active Skills

Heroic Legacy A – Increase defense for three turns and clear own debuffs, increase attack and star generation for all allies for three turns.

Blessings of Youth A – Apply invincibility for 3 turns, apply Arts, Quick, and Buster up for 3 turns. Costs 9 critical stars.

Storyteller B – Drain all enemy NP charge, increase own NP charge, increase party NP gain for 3 turns.

NOBLE PHANTSAM: Dord Fianna – the War Cry to Defend Humanity (QUICK)

Area of effect Noble Phantasm that deals damage to all enemies, special bonus damage to any Threat to Humanity trait enemies. Applies defense down, critical strength down, and slight chance to inflict Terror status to all enemies. Applies attack up, critical strength up, and NP damage up to all allies for 3 turns.

Lines - Room

Idle: “Master, are you doing anything right now? If you’re bored, I can show you the song I’m working on now. No? You’d rather go outside? Well, that’s alright, too. I’ll tag along.”

Master-Servant Relationship: “I’m used to working, living, and fighting alongside others, so this situation is fine for me. Honestly, it brings back pleasant memories.”

Opinion of Master: “I could write a thousand songs about your adventures. I really do consider it to be a privilege to fight at your side!”

Scheherazade: “I think she and I could have a lot in common. And so beautiful too… hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m happily married, you know!”

Author Servants: “There are a lot of very talented people here. I consider myself a formidable opponent, but I think I’ll work a little harder, regardless of that. [laugh]”

Saints: “It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I can’t really understand them. I have my reasons, but that may be the one story I’m not interested in telling.”

Irish Servants: “There are so many famous heroes here from ages past. Of course, I already know the tales by heart but I wonder if there would be any differences in the first-hand accounts…”

Diarmuid: “Diarmuid! It’s been too long since I’ve seen your face! Master, this is the only person in the world who is smarter than my father. He always used to beat us at chess, and that’s just the start of it. I’m sure you already know. What? Oh, don’t be modest! And here – look! I brought you some letters from your relatives. They say you hardly ever visit anymore and – hey, where are you going?!”

Fionn: “Ahh… It’s good to see him in his prime like this. He seems to be very at ease here. Seeing that he’s able to smile and relax like this… honestly, he looks just as Mother always described him. Ah, wait a moment. Please don’t ever tell him I said that.”

Lines – Battle

DECK: QQ/AA/B

Start 1: “Just because I am an artist doesn’t mean that I can’t do battle when I need to.”

Start 2: “That look on your face… I have to wonder if you’re not taking me seriously. Well, it can’t be helped. Best of luck to you!”

Skill 1: “This is the blessing I was given.”

Skill 2: “Hmm… still a bit out of tune.”

Skill 3: “With the strength of my own limbs.”

Skill 4: “With actions that will match my speech.”

Attack: [IDK SOME NOISE]

Extra Attack 1: “With purity in our hearts!”

Extra Attack 2: “You won’t underestimate me a second time!”

Noble Phantasm Activation: “If the time has come to defend humanity – then I will serve with all the power I have.”

Noble Phantasm 1: “For the things we have forgotten, and for all that we have to gain – there is something that I, too, must protect. I swear that I shall defeat all evil in the world. With the purity of our hearts – Dord Fianna!”

Noble Phantasm 2: “This is a story of those who stood should to shoulder to defend humanity's destiny, from all that would covet and destroy it. No matter when, or where, we will always rise to meet this challenge. This is our sacred duty – Dord Fianna."

Noble Phantasm 3: “This hunting horn is not for making music – if you’re skittish, you might want to cover your ears. Listen – to our sacred battle cry!”

Injured 1: “Rude!”

Injured 2: “At least make sure to avoid my face!”

Incapacitated 1: “It seems that… once again… I can’t stay beside you until the end… I’m… sorry…”

Incapacitated 2: “It’s always like this, huh… Strange… this time, it doesn’t hurt…”

Victory 1: “I told you from the start. Before I am an artist, I am also a knight!”

Victory 2: “You know, I think I could make a song about this victory. Someone give me a tune! Hey… wait a minute… why are you all walking away?”

Bond 1: “You know, Master, I spent a long time out of human society. So, I need you to tell me to my face if I ever say something strange. Seriously. I’m not joking. I really don’t know what people talk about these days. I’m counting on your guidance.”

Profile 1: Oisin, the son of the legendary hero Fionn MacCumhail. Because his father had already eaten the Fish of All Knowledge, he was gifted from birth with wisdom and a quick wit. His name literally means "little deer" or "fawn."

Bond 2: “What was it like, growing up with such a famous father? Well, that’s a difficult question. Father has always been good to me. I’ve always felt that the Fianna were my family. Even the most loving and tight knit families sometimes fight… and even so… hm. I wonder… …Um, sorry. [slightly nervous laugh] What was I saying again?”

Profile 2: The story of Oisin's birth is a tragedy. His mother, Sadhbh, was Fionn's second wife. Though they were madly in love, his mother had another suitor, who was a cruel and wicked mage. One day, when Fionn was out hunting, the mage lured the pregnant Sadhbh out of their home by impersonating her husband, and transformed her into a deer before loosing her in the forest.

When Fionn returned to their home and found it empty, he immediately marshaled his knights and began to search for them, leaving no stone under-turned.

Eventually, the toddler Oisin was recovered - but his mother was never seen again.

Bond 3: “Yes, yes. My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. Every man says that about his wife, but in my case, it’s actually true! She’s a wonderful, wonderful woman, and her family always treated me so kindly. I simply lost track of time, that’s all. Yes, I always meant to go back and visit, but the opportunity always… Eh? I trailed off again? I’m not sure why I keep getting lost in thought. Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

Profile 3: Fionn was never the same after Sadhbh's disappearance. Plunged into a deep mourning, it was said that his entire personality shifted, until he was nearly a shadow of his former, magnanimous self. It was Oisin who volunteered to seek a new bride for his father, perhaps desperate to see his father smile again. It was these events that eventually lead to the Pursuit, another tale that is narrated in the Fenian Cycle.

Bond 4: “Was it hard? Yes, I suppose it was. All the places that I had loved, and all the people I had loved were gone. Even my own father. Even my first son. And then, I was even stupid enough to fall off my horse. Hah. Sorry, Master, I’ll go now. No, no. It’s alright. It’s just that I would never want you to see me like that. That’s all.”

Profile 4: Like the other Knights of Fianna, Oisin lived a long life full of adventures too numerous to recount in full. He married a fairy woman and went to live in Tir na Nog, the land of eternal youth. Eventually, he decided to return to the mortal world to visit his family. His wife gifted him a magical horse, and told him that he would not be able to dismount, or the blessings of eternal youth that he had been granted would disappear.

When Oisin emerged from the Land of Youth, he discovered that 300 years had passed, and the Fianna had all but completely disappeared.

Bond 5: “I will make sure that they remember you. I’ll fight beside you until the end – and then, I’ll make sure that the world remembers you. Really, it’s the least that I can do. But let’s not talk about depressing things. For some reason, I’ve been wanting to write a love song lately. What do you think? ‘Too early…’ It’s never too early for beautiful music! [laughing] Really, you ought to enjoy life a little more, Master.”

Profile 5: DORD FIANNA - The War Cry to Defend Humanity. A war cry to strike fear in the hearts of humanity's enemies, a power that can wake sleeping kings.

This Noble Phantasm would not normally belong to Oisin. It is said, in Ireland, that their great hero Fionn is not dead, but slumbers beneath a mountain, surrounded by his loyal knights, and that the one who blows upon his hunting horn will rise him from his sleep. When he rises, he will resume his duties, to protect humanity.

But the stories of the Fianna exist in the modern age because, after emerging from Tir na Nog, Oisin wrote them all down. Using his talents for word and song, he told the tales of valor and heroism and adventure, the stories of his friends and family to anyone who would listen. After an accident caused him to fall from the horse that should have carried him back to his beloved wife, Oisin lay dying, feeling each of those 300 years seep back into him, even as he desperately tried to finish the story he was telling.

So in this form, the Dord Fianna is not a war cry, but more like a song.

Bonus Profile, Post Interlude: In one version of the story of Oisin, he encounters a certain saint while traveling around Ireland. The saint listens to the knight's tales, but even so, because Oisin is still a pagan and an immortal himself, he and the saint don't get along very well and part on bad terms. Even though Oisin claims that it wasn't like that, and even so, he never holds grudges, he still can't help but make a face whenever the saint's name comes up in conversation.

[bigmeatymudcrabchitins]

A not-so-brief overview of my Skyrim Dova OCs bc i need to scream to the digital void about my ideas

Freyora Lind, more commonly known by her strange alias “Bjorne Icepick”

A Nord-eventually-turned-werewolf who orphaned during the Great War and taken in by a Dunmeri mercenary whose residence was in Windhelm’s Gray Quarter. Grew up in a cramped boarding house setting among desperate mercenaries of varying backgrounds. Many of them would all come and go, but there was always some sort of a familial bond between them all.

From a young age she got in a lot of fights against people who insulted her for living in the Gray Quarter among the dark elves. Eventually she took a fight too far and was jailed for murder around 14, but was broken out shortly after by a band of masked vampires. Turns out some of her mercenary comrades unwittingly caught vampirism during a contract to clear out a vampire den and had to skip town, but not before ensuring one of their own wasn’t left to rot.

Lived in Cyrodil for about 15 years, but returned to Skyrim pursuing rumors surrounding a cure to vampirism, as her adoptive father would be nearing the end of his elven lifespan and had wished to die a normal death.

Seeing as she was literally a fugitive, and her long-belated parents were somewhat renowned for their battlefield prowess, she took on a false identity. AND an act to match it.

She’ll eat raw meat, chase prey with swords instead of using a bow like a normal person, harp about irrational conspiracy theories, and more. Everyone’s foul reactions to her outlandish act are plainly hilarious to her and only encourage her to act even stranger.

The alias “Bjorne Icepick” was simply the most ridiculous name she could think of.

Not the most morally outstanding. Besides drunken brawling, she’ll steal from anyone who angers her, even if it’s things she literally won’t ever need such as all the goblets in a household. It’s the pettiness that counts. “Try drinking your damn high-end wine now, jackass.”

Calls Dwarven Automatons “Gundams.” Including she herself, no one knows what that means.

Joins the Companions out of homesickness and a desire to fill in a gap that leaving home left.

Hasn’t bothered curing herself of lycanthropy because her whole schtick is being incredibly resourceful, and that includes using any means of power necessary. Still doesn’t fancy Hircine’s Hunting Grounds as her desired afterlife, though.

As her journey goes on, however, her lightheartedly eccentric face starts to fall off as a number of events push her to begin to question the legitimacy of her actions up until that point.

Some of which include the eventual death of her adoptive father (and how she was indirectly responsible for it even if it was what he wanted), Delphine’s ultimatum, the civil war as a collective, learning the tragic history behind the Falmer and the original Companions’ role in it, and killing of Vyrthur (no matter how much he genuinely deserved it).

She grows disgusted by herself down to the core. She takes to skooma to cope, and starts to be plagued by serious skooma-induced side effects. She ends up shutting herself away from all her responsibilities and distancing herself from her friends.

Does she get better? Maybe. I haven’t thought up anything past this point lol

Moureneris Alta

A very, VERY ancient vampiric snow elf, (though it’s notable she was born a considerable amount of time after the razing of Sarthaal)

Survived many atrocities. Stayed in isolation with a band of vampires for countless years out of sheer disgust for the nature of the sapient races. (I’ll explain her full story some other time. It’s pretty complicated)

She was abducted from her isolated lifestyle by a certain person i’ll talk about later. She managed to free herself south of Skyrim, and uh, walks right into that Imperial ambush. The rest is history.

Super ignorant to modern society as a result of centuries of isolation. Exploited for comedic relief. (“What in the name of Oblivion is a Cyrodilic Empire? Are you messing with me? And please, how does levitation magic simply get outlawed by this hypothetical Empire? What are you to do when you fall down a crevice? Just... let yourself perish? How degrading.)

She reintegrated herself into society with vengeance in mind under the belief that all humans are savage bloodlusting murderers who had to answer for their treachery. (And she was royally angry there was no Dwemer left to spite, but partially satisfied at the same time). But she grows conflicted after being shown genuine kindness, even as early as being freed from her binds in Helgen.

Subsequently has a very muddled redemption arc. Queue Dragonborn hero stuff

She has impaired vision, but she cultivated detect life magic to aid her in daily life and combat (think Hyakkimaru from Dororo ‘19 and his soul detection or Toph Beifong from ATLA and her seismic sense). At her peak, she can detect life from about a kilometer away.

She can just barely read, but only if she holds the text incredibly close to her face, not to mention her Cyrodilic lessons were left unfinished after her abduction, making reading a very taxing process. Weary travelers are often spooked at the sight of a floating, ghastly looking elven woman with her nose pressed up against crossroad signs, and it has become somewhat of an urban legend.

Isn’t as nearly as skilled with detecting the dead and tenses up in burial crypts or around other vampires for that reason. Unfortunately, being the Dragonborn and all, she finds herself in a lot of crypts...

When questioned about her background due to her unique appearance: “Oh, yeah. My mother was one of those mer from the east. You know the ones. Dark elves, I think? And my father was one of those er, tall elv- no, sorry, HIGH elves. Yeah. They both died in a big fire or something though. It was horrible. I can’t get the noxious smell or the deafening screams out of my head. Good talk, but never ask me about that again.”

Queue sheltered old immortal antics: “Wow, you’re THAT old? Enlighten me on how it felt witnessing the fall of the Dwemer. Or perhaps the rise of Tiber Septim’s Empire. The Gates of Ob-“ “Oblivion if I know. I lived in someone’s basement for thousands of years. And I still don’t know what everyone means by Empire. You all are messing with me, aren’t you? That really annoys me.”

She ultimately returns to faith in Auri-El and makes it her life’s purpose to help the Betrayed find peace, as well as to seek out any remaining snow elf groups. Probably good friends with Gelebor or something.

Had a crush on Serana. We all know how THAT went. Damned temples.

Was originally gonna spiral into a much darker corruption arc (another ATLA comparison being Jet or Hama) but I just felt bad for her. Moureneris can have a little found peace. As a treat.

That’s her preliminary design made. I’ll need a mod to properly play her, because that right there was made by choosing Dunmer as her race. But I can’t do that. I’m on console, and while I got the Steam port a month ago, my PC’s stone age specs can’t handle Skyrim yet and I’ll need to wait until I can afford a better graphics card (thanks economic inflation)

Alexandre Armasi, jokingly nicknamed Alexandre the Curious

A complete and unapologetic export of my character from a dead and unfinished DND campaign. Except there are no Aasimar in Skyrim, so he’s half Altmer half Bosmer. And his initial last name was Armas but I thought Armasi suited his Skyrim counterpart more, as subtle a change it is.

He’s mainly Bosmer in appearance and constitution, save for his hair and eyes, which are more similar to that of his Altmeri father’s.

I can’t really export his original backstory though because the campaign wouldn’t translate well into TES lore at all.

He’s a writer who came wandering into Skyrim in search of inspiration. While he mainly writes dramatic fables, he wanted to divert his focus to crafting his own bestiary and herbal compendium surrounding Skyrim’s fauna and flora. The ones at home are simply too vague to him!

He’s very altruistic, wishing to spread cheer wherever he goes, through the art of song (even though he was a cleric in DND and not a bard. My bad.) However, many of his verses are just blatant self promotions of his published fables.

But he’s too naive for his own good. Dangerously so. In fact, he says what’s on his mind with little forethought, with little grasp on the consequences of his actions, which lands him in lots of trouble. “I don’t favor him myself, but you guys kill people over Talos worship? That’s not very cool. A bit scary, if you ask me.” or “A Stormcloak rebel? Didn’t your leader kill a bunch of Reachmen rebels years back, or so I’ve heard. By the divines that’s not a man I’d make a symbol of nonconformity.”

He’s also insatiably curious. The type to ACTUALLY shove alchemic ingredients in his mouth with no knowledge of their properties, experiment with dangerous rune spells, throw rocks at pressure plates, and more. Needless to say he’s very accident prone.

Doesn’t know common curse words. People exploit this for laughs. Think that episode of Spongebob.

Everyone is a little baffled that HE of all people is the prophesied Dragonborn of legend. This agonizingly imbecilic writer who has absentmindedly wandered into burial crypts, troll dens, bandit forts, and more, too busy juggling his manuscripts to pay attention to his surroundings.

His past doesn’t exactly reflect his outlook on life. His mother and father fought in the Great War aligned with the Imperials despite their elven background. Both managed to live to see the war’s conclusion, but his father vanished without a trace shortly after, and it seems his mother knows something she won’t tell him.

With plenty of exposure to bad influences, his innocence is slowly lost throughout the course of his journey, and his altruism begins to grow twisted. But nevertheless, he maintains his jovial, social persona, except this time with much darker undertones. Kinda like a creepy dentist or something.

Whoops. He winds up becoming a feared Dark Brotherhood assassin. (Haha get it “Innocence Lost”???) He somehow deluded himself into thinking that the life of an assassin was the right thing to do. But he’s a funky little guy so he gets a pass for his heinous crimes against society

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico Season 2, Episode 13

- I’m sure that wasn’t supposed to be comedy but I literally laughed through most of that and I’m still laughing at the last scene. I can’t. I just...I can’t. I mean what the fuck even was half of that?!?!?

- I mean that episode was WILD. I don’t even know where to begin. This is going to get long...you are forewarned. 

- Let’s start with the EXTREMELY RAPID conclusion of last week’s mortal peril. Yep....let’s just do some CPR...not even have to break out the alien defibrillator powers and oh look Max is just fine. I mean...thank god cause I could not go through a repeat of last season although...considering the last scene...that might be preferable. (I’m still laughing...like full on cracking up and my roommates probably think I’m nuts). Then we’ve got Liz dumping the contents of some top secret recipe giant ketchup bottles on the alien console and oh...yep....melted. Glad that crisis was averted. Then we have some random shots of people going to the hospital and oh look...everyone’s alive and fine except...Jesse Manes. I mean...don’t get me wrong...he’s a monster and I’m not sorry he’s dead by my god what a pitiful end to a character that should have been a really good villain but instead was a guy who limped around in the background most of the season until suddenly in one episode it turns out he had been putting together a dastardly plan to show the aliens as the monsters they are and then murder them....sure. Why not?!?! Well...I guess it’s nice that that barely three episode arc of Gregory Manes wanting to stand up for Alex got some closure. I just...it’s so dumb!!!!

- Oh wait...I forgot...not shocking cause it was literally two seconds, but hey...Helena randomly went back and saved Charlie and proceeded to yell at her for getting chained up and not leaving while she freed her. Cool. 

- Right...so that’s all wrapped up in the opening five minutes...let’s just move on...we’ve got a lot of other insane junk we have to throw into the next 35 minutes. Yep...still laughing. 

- Let’s just kick things off with Michael and Maria...and now I’m laughing again. I did ask the show to prove me wrong earlier today and well...I mean....they half did?!?!?!! Except it was literally insane so I don’t even know what to say. So...Maria’s just fine cause you know she was only half alien so that’s cool and great and then oh wait...she just happens to have a magic plot box dropped off by Mimi. Thanks Mimi...you still have no real purpose in this story except to occasionally move the plot forward but thanks for the box. But Michael doesn’t trust Mimi’s plot hints so he doesn’t want to open the box. Instead....he goes to hang with Alex and they destroy the shed together, which admittedly was a very nice scene and totally gave me Stendan in Dublin vibes and I quite liked it. 

- But it was also all so they could find a literal skeleton under the floorboards. Gotta get those callbacks in eh? Hahaha. And of course it’s Tripp! Who else would it be? And of course...he’s got the magical key so it turns out Mimi really is tuned into the plot and read ahead in the script and knew that box would be important! So back to Maria he goes after having this super cathartic scene with Alex that tied into their emotional past together. I mean...par for the course...and I was fully ready for the whiplash that was going to make me crazy and you know...I was not disappointed because they started out being all “hey I love you” and I was like “eye roll knew that was coming” but then! She just up and breaks up with him because that’s what you do after a mutual I love you that’s based on zero relationship development over the past twelve and a half episodes. And once again...I am laughing. 

- I mean...I’ll say this...I’m glad it was her that broke up with him and in part because she totally knows he’s in love with Alex and we have been saying that literally all season so like I’m glad she noticed. But I literally died when she was all “I’ve learned so much from this relationship”. What?! What did you learn? Did you get motivation in your script direction that we weren’t privy to because I still have literally no idea what either of you were supposed to be getting out of that relationship but hey...who cares cause it’s over now and Maria just decided that so it’s all fine. No heartbreak there. And you know...Michael seems totally cool with it. Barely even put up a fight. Hahahahaha. Again...I can’t. 

- So then we go back to Alex and Michael and Isobel who is all of a sudden team Malex this episode when previously she was inventing emojis for Michael’s Maria hearteyes so yeah...all of this is just really confusing. But hey! The box has Tripp’s journal in it and descriptions that make Michael squirm but also....Tripp and Nora’s love was...wait for....COSMIC! Hahaha. Oh this show. It’s drunk on it’s own absurdity. So anyway...we’re filled in on the rest of Tripp and Nora’s story...well...sort of. We know she tried ice cream and liked it and there was talk of the mystery bad man that wasn’t Noah but uh...more on that later. Haha. Well...I guess we know Harlan killed Tripp and we unfortunately saw Nora die so that’s a wrap on the 1947 flashbacks I guess?!?! Sure. 

- Oh god and the song...since we’re on Malex anyway. I mean...I liked the song and yeah....he got all the references in there. I never look away...cosmic...sure. And I knew once Forrest was there that kiss was going to happen but my god...are we really setting up season three where now Alex is the one in a random relationship and Michael is trying to be happy for him and we repeat season two’s nonsense?! Are we going to have another threesome just for funzies because you know...that was still LITERALLY the dumbest and most pointless plot point of the season. But anyway, I’m happy Alex felt comfortable enough to sing a song about a guy and kiss a guy in front of a crowded bar but there was literally NO REASON it could not have been Michael. He and Forrest literally had like four scenes together this season compared to Malex who had this whole emotional arc but no...gotta make it complicated. 

- Props to them for managing to have one last break up without actually even having a conversation this time. TALENT. LEGENDS ONLY. 

- I guess at least now that there’s just a minor character in the way and they probably can’t actually kiss again due to coronavirus restrictions, there’s probably some hope for Malex next season?!?! Maybe they’ll find a vaccine by the time there’s a Malex reunion. Maybe good things come to those who suffer. Hahaha.

- Right...let’s move on to Max and Liz. So uhh...Max spends the whole episode seeming like he was hopped up on drugs again or desperate for a fix. What is in that antidote?! Once again we gloss over the “darkness” in Max because like who needs real follow up to the first five episodes of the season. Not this show!

- The whole “Max destroys Liz’s lab” plot was nuts. Just the sheer speed of it from Diego magically appearing at the diner with the Generyx woman to Jenna’s super spy disguise to Max just blowing up the lab as Diego and co drive up and then they just exit stage left super fast except for the fact that Liz is still seemingly going to California but like...why? Did Generyx woman still agree to give her a grant based on her exploding lab?! Did she just feel bad that she didn’t have a lab anymore?! 

- Sidebar to Steph...fucking Steph...whose apparent entire purpose this season was to be sick enough to inspire Liz to do science and break up her and Max over it and then survive after Liz randomly finds time to give her some kind of half baked medicine from her lab BEFORE it exploded??!?! Or does she just carry that shit around with her? And for the love of god SOMEBODY SAVE KYLE from this EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING story!!!!!! Please don’t subject him to more of this next season. Let them break up during the pandemic and give Kyle a clean slate and allow him to reenter the narrative in a way that allows him actual screen time and scenes with the group. Sigh...at least he got to hug Liz and have a brief scene with Alex where Alex told him he was proof of redemption. Look at that character arc that was literally told in two scenes this season! Yeah...see they can be concise when they want to!

- Anyway...back to Max. OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT FINAL SCENE?!?!?!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?!!? I don’t even know what I was expecting but it WAS NOT THAT! What even?!?! WHY AM I BEING SUBJECTED TO TWO MAXES?!?! ONE WAS ENOUGH...sometimes MORE THAN ENOUGH. This is just really mean and so was forcing me to look at that HIDEOUS beard! I just....I really can’t handle it. HAHAHA! What drugs were they on when they wrote this?! Also...NONE OF THIS ANSWERS ANY QUESTION AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

- Let’s see...what else...

- I’m glad Jenna and Charlie FINALLY had a scene together because when Jenna first said that Charlie had disappeared again, I got so mad because it was just inexplicably dumb. So I’m glad they got to see each other. 

- I’m glad Rosa is going back to rehab and that she both got to tell her mother that she loved her and tell her to stay the fuck away. 

- I’m just laughing at the fact that for like one episode Helena was suddenly the big bad or at least a main antagonist or at least some kind of main player for the season and then just as quickly was COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT and is probably just going to leave now?!??! WHY?!?!?!? 

- Can Isobel please get something legit to do next season that doesn’t just involve her going into people’s heads without asking and maybe involves her getting a love interest of her own? Please?! I mean...I’m glad she got learn about her mother this season but also I feel like she didn’t do much and I think she deserves more than that. 

- I guess I’m glad Maria is embracing her alien side and trying to be true to herself or whatever but also....she was literally just in this episode to “not be dead”, to give Michael a plot box and to break up with him so she’s no longer a shipping obstacle. And then we never saw her again the rest of the episode. I really sincerely hope they do more with her next season in a way that actually serves her as a character because this season did not do her many favors. I’m glad she finally knows about the aliens and they delved into her own alien identity but I hope she really gets to do something with that next season and not just exist to save everyone else at the end with no thanks for it. I mean literally no one was on screen visiting her except Michael just so she could give him a box and break up with him. Liz and Max were literally at the hospital. But no...Liz had to see irrelevant Steph so she could save her for some unknown reason. Sigh....Not even her cool aunt Isobel came to see her. 

- I don’t even know what else to say. I’m still laughing. I still feel like I know LITERALLY NOTHING about what was going on this season. I had hopes for this season at the end of season one but honestly I have zero hopes for season three because I’m sure it will be a clusterfuck but an even weirder clusterfuck than normal cause everyone will be standing eight feet apart. Maybe that will make them tell a tighter story and not try and shove 75 different plots into 13 episodes??? Probably not. I’m sure it’ll still be batshit crazy and make no sense at all. I’m gonna treat the show as a comedy from now on. 

- Well...it’s been fun all. Thanks to anyone who made it through this whole nonsense post. You deserve a prize. Maybe a plot box or a skeleton under a floorboard or a journal telling you your relatives’ love was cosmic too. 

[riathenowheregirl]

Gold Dust Women: My Favorite Witchy Singers

Okay, before you burn me alive with “Where’s this certain artist?!” or “Why is this certain artist not here?!” or “Who even uses Tumblr these days?”, uhmmm me bish?? It’s my safe zone. Okay, the last question was a joke. 

Can I just say that the amazing women on this list are artists I listen to all the time. They’re my favorites, so chill (I’m open for suggestions tho). This is not Rolling Stone or Billboard magazine, it’s just ya girl’s good ol’ tumblr blog. Also, I’m not saying that all of them are literal w i t c h e s, it’s just that they portray the same aesthetic through their art and music. 

Alright, now that’s settled, let’s start.

1. STEVIE NICKS 

Do I even need to explain this? Stevie is undoubtedly the Etheral Queen of them all, the Pioneer, the O.G. Supreme whose lyrical soul and spellbinding voice echoes from the distant past to the inevitable future. Everything about her oozes with witchcraft and magic starting from her iconic top hat, to her millions of intricately made shawls, down to her platform boots. Only Stevie Nicks could pull off such Not-of-this-Era outfits and she has been doing it CONSISTENTLY. She’s in a timeline of her OWN. If you listen to her music, you would notice that every song of hers is poetry, like she’s telling a story or conjuring the unknown. She’s every witchy woman’s icon and that’s a fact.

Stevie is an untouchable yet gracious legend, we’ll always be a part of her sisterhood until the day of earth’s decay. Forever the Queen of Rock N’ Roll. 

Current Favorite Stevie Lyrics:  “ You can fly swinging from your trapeze, scaring all the people...but you'll never scare me.”  |   “Once in a million years a lady like her rises. Oh no, Rhiannon, you cry, but she's gone and your life knows no answer.”

Notice how I used the word “current”? Because it always changes depending on the state my life. Here’s a more detailed post on why I love her.   

2. KATE BUSH 

“Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy, I've come home, I'm so cold! Let me in through your window!”

The eccentric beauty, Kate Bush made a genius, artistic move by writing a song about the book, Wuthering Heights, written by Emily Brontë in the 1800′s. Mind you, she was only 18 when she wrote and was the first song written by a female artist that landed on top the charts. Her voice is almost as distinctive as Stevie Nicks. While Stevie’s more nasal, commanding, wailing rock n’ roll goddess, Kate’s voice was high-pitched, alarming, ghostly, queer, and fairy-like. Everything about her is Performance Art. This is a woman who is not afraid to express herself.

For starters, you might think her music is strange and weird. Trust me, I felt the same way when I first heard her songs. But then, it began to grow on me leaving floral patterns on its path. 

Favorite Kate Bush Lyrics:  “Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me.”

3. FLORENCE WELCH 

This one is as obvious as Stevie Nicks. Florence Welch from the band, Florence + the Machine, is a poetess, a screaming banshee, and a full-pledged Sister of the Moon. She even started a witch coven during middle school. From her red carpet looks to her everyday outfits on Instagram, Florence vibrates powerful witch energy. Not to mention she has a song called “Which Witch” and that haunting music video for Big God with levitating women. Flo is not a woman to trifle with, I’ll tell you that. 

Photos courtesy of @lillieeiger

In all her songs, Florence will bind you with magic and it’ll leave you breathless. If Stevie’s songs are poetry, hers are spells you could sing out loud. Also, if you haven’t seen her house tour, go check it now! 

Favorite Florence Welch Lyrics: “'Cause I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.”  |  “And in a moment of joy and fury I threw myself in the balcony like my grandmother so many years before me.”

4. LANA DEL REY

Remember when Lana used witchcraft to hex Donald Trump? It was all over the news and Twitter went wild. She was later quoted saying, “I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart.” Oh, and she also did a collab with Stevie. 

We. Stan. Forever.

There was even a time that I MEMORIZED the monologue in the music video for Ride. ALL OF IT, HUNNY. 

Lana’s hypnotizing vocals together with her sixties baby doll dresses and Priscilla Presley hair is enough to convince me that she’s not of this era. She has a deep understanding of the beauty of past generation and the looming sadness and nostalgia that comes with it. Whenever I listen to her music, I imagine myself as a rockstar’s muse who is involved with the mafia but then I decided to leave him while taking his gun and convertible. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite Lana Del Rey Lyrics: “Well, my boyfriend's in the band. He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed. I've got feathers in my hair, I get down to Beat poetry. And my jazz collection's rare, I can play most anything.”

5. LORDE 

David Bowie didn’t call her the “future of music” for nothing. Just two albums under her belt, Lorde already proved that she will one day become a legend herself. Her music narrates an unparalleled interpretation of the anguish and fleeting charm of our youth. She knows what we’re feeling because she’s been there herself and is on the road to healing just like us. 

I think the message she’s trying to say is that we’re constantly losing grip on our innocence, and that life is often wicked so we need to accept that, grit our teeth, get on with it, and make art. She can also see color when she hears music. 

In my opinion, Lorde is one of the greatest artists of my generation. 

Favorite Lorde Lyrics: “The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy till all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me.”  |   “That slow burn wait while it gets dark, bruising the sun, I feel grown up with you in your car. I know it's dumb.” 

6. FKA TWIGS

Honestly, FKA Twigs is literally art in living form, a celestial angel that nobody can easily decipher. This woman has more talent in her fingertips than I could ever have in a lifetime. She somehow reminds me of a young Kate Bush; fearless, experimental, with an intoxicating voice. She never stops reinventing herself and it’s beautiful.

In FKA Twigs’ world, there are no limits, just endless galaxies. She pours her whole being in all of her songs and it shows. She’s not for the faint of heart, let me tell you that. 

Favorite FKA Twigs Lyrics:  “And I don't want to have to share our love. I try but I get overwhelmed. All wrapped in cellophane, the feelings that we had.” 

7. SKOTT 

I say this all the time, but I cannot write without Skott’s music blasting on my earphones. She grew up in a “forest commune run by outcast folk musicians” and was not exposed to contemporary music until her teen years. You would notice it in her songs. 

It’s hard to explain why, but listen to Skott’s music when there’s thunder and rain outside, then you’ll know why this woman is witchy. I kind of want her to be more popular and known, but then again, I also want to keep her to myself. Scratch that, LISTEN TO SKOTT’S MUSIC NOW. 

Start with Glitter & Gloss. 

Favorite Skott Lyrics: “Like an empty canvas, hear me cry. Like a masterpiece, I'm in your eyes. Now your colors are in front of me, we're a picture-perfect oddity.”

8. FIRST AID KIT 

I fell in love with this sister duo when I first heard their song, Emmylou, while browsing YouTube. It’s one of those moments of instant magic. Klara and Johanna Söderberg are a coven of their own. I would describe their music as “Woodland Folk laced with runes and wild flowers”. 

Their voices compliment each other so much that it reminded me of Simon & Garfunkel (they even performed their own version of America in front of Paul Simon!!!). First Aid Kit has this Woodstock seventies vibe, and you know me, I live for that sh*t. 

Favorite First Aid Kit Lyrics: “ When I run through the deep dark forest long, after this begun, where the sun would set, the trees were dead and the rivers were none. And I hope for a trace to lead me back home from this place, but there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace.”

9. ZOLA JESUS

Zola Jesus’ music deserves to be played with an orchestra inside an abandoned castle in Transylvania while it gently rains and you’re wearing a white nightgown as you roam its empty halls. Is that too much?

 Not at all. 

Like Skott, I listen to Zola whenever I’m having writer’s block. If I ever finish my book, I’m gonna have to thank them. 

Favorite Zola Jesus Lyrics: “I'm on my bed, my bed of stones, but in the end of the night we'll rest our bones, so don't you worry. Just rest your head cause in the end of the night we'll be together again.”

10. ZELLA DAY 

Photo Credits to Harper Smith

I LOVE ZELLA DAY’S MUSIC OH MY GOODNESS. My favorite songs of her are Sweet Ophelia, Hypnotic, Man on the Moon, and Hunnie Pie. ESPECIALLY HUNNIE PIE. I cry whenever I hear that song. It’s just so pure, calming, and beautiful. 

Her music belong in the psychedelic era. 

People labeled her as the “happier version of Lana Del Rey” but I think she’s in a league of her own. She deserves more recognition, honestly! 

Favorite Zella Day Lyrics: “The older we get there's an ocean of people in places we've chosen and you know how mama keeps saying “we've gotta stop the games we're playing””. 

Hope you guys approve of my list! I really like sharing stuff that I love! Feel free to message me for more suggestions, I’d really appreciate to know more witchy artists out there. We’re all in a huge coven of sisterhood. 

Thanks for reading!

Love, 

Ria  🌙

P.S.

Please follow my blog!!! THANK YOU  🔮

[lokilickedme]

Because of "The Department", I am starting to become interested in Hozier. Are there any songs you would recommend for new listeners? Does he have anything romantic and sad?

Ohhhh my goodness.  Does he have anything romantic and sad…DOES HE HAVE ANYTHING ROMANTIC AND SAD?!  (sorry, I’m hyperventilating with excitement here)

Sit down honeypants, have I got a playlist for your listening pleasure.

First, you’re fortunate that he’s only got two officially released albums, two EPs, and a handful of covers and film tracks - because frankly the world couldn’t handle much more than what he’s given us so far.  We need time, we need to acclimate, we need to be strong enough to take it.  And for what he has given us thus far, we are thankful.  *amen*

I don’t even know where to start categorizing his songs individually, but since you specifically asked for “romantic” and “sad”, I’ll begin there:

ROMANTIC AND/OR SAD HOZIER SONGS TO PINE AND/OR YEARN TO:

Work Song - Gotta start here, for reasons.  This song is what I would call the epitome of romance.  It’s a nod to the field hymnals of the deep south, with the religious solemnity replaced by a mournful sort of romantic adoration for a lover who somehow saved him from a past he had all but lost himself to.  Sweet and gentle and worshipful, it fairly reeks of bad man redeemed by the love of a good woman.  He thanks the higher powers every day for the gift of his lover, whether the gods are listening or not, whether he is worthy of their attention or not - he no longer cares about that, because if there’s no eternal heaven for him, this moment on earth with his love is more than enough.  You are his deity now, his redeemer, his savior…and he’s at peace with his past because he knows you love him as much as he loves you.  Beautiful and hopeful, and almost painfully romantic.

Like Real People Do - Gah, I don’t even know where to start with this one.  It was inspired by Seamus Heaney’s series of poetic odes to the bog bodies discovered in the wilds of Ireland, which in itself doesn’t seem like a very ripe field to plow for romantic sentiment.  However, let me direct you to the following verse:

I will not ask you where you came fromI will not ask, and neither should youHoney just put your sweet lips on my lipsWe should just kiss like real people do

Yeah, we’re done here.  Basically it’s a vague fairy tale whose implications you’re free to ascertain for yourself.  Is it grave robbing?  Murder?  Some dark fae magic resurrecting an ancient being for some dark purpose he can’t recall? A lonely woman enlisting a disreputable spell to conjure a lover for herself from the long-dead bones of a forgotten victim?  Or was he simply buried by his grief/pain/sadness and “dug up” by the love and care of a stranger?  Whatever it is, it’s lovely.

To Be Alone -  Howling and intense, feral and wild, this is a tune to fuck to.  Romantically, of course.  The Celtic drums, the yowling chorus, the stomping that brings to mind a tribal Druid ceremony, untamed and darkly sexual in all its heathen glory…

Honey, when you kill the lightsAnd kiss my eyesI feel like a person for a moment of my life

Need I say more?  How about this:

To feel your weight in arms I’d never useIt’s the god that heroin prays to

Powerful, right?  And any song that has Feels good, god it feels good as a repetitive chorus can’t be anything but babymaking tunes.  Trust me.

Better Love - This is a film soundtrack song that appears on the ending credits of The Legend Of Tarzan.  Lush and frantically heartfelt and literally gushing with a profound romance that rises and rises until it hits a crescendo that you just gotta listen to on headphones with your eyes closed.  It’s a religious experience, the kind that’s easy to imagine yourself screaming OH GOD!! in the middle of.  Yeah, that kind.  The rising fury of the music, the piano, the horn section, his voice, is all very reminiscent of that kind of love.  Just beautiful, urgent, and will have you imagining yourself in a Victorian dress standing on the bank of a river somewhere waiting for your love to return from some distant place.

Dinner And Diatribes - Speaking of that kind of love, here we have a song that uses those very words to describe what loverboy wants and is asking for from you, his passionate yet momentarily bored significant other.  The two of you are stuck at some hideously stale social engagement and his soul is dying slowly with each dull conversation he has to participate in; his only reprieve is in staring at you from across the room and sending you subliminal messages about what he would very much like for you to do to him as soon as he gets you out of there.  Let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised, yeah that kind of love.  Romantic?  Not strictly, no, not on the face of it.  But really, what’s more romantic than knowing your partner well enough to know that one look from you across a crowded room will have them searching for a way to excuse themselves from the party so they can go home and absolutely rail you?

Scarcely can speak for my thinkingWhat you’d do to me tonightNow that the evening is slowingNow that the end is in sightHoney, it’s easier knowingWhat you’d do to me tonight 

 And we’re not even going to discuss the pounding Celtic tribal drums that set up a rhythm through the entire song that subtly mimics a headboard banging against the wall.  Rowdy loud romance at its pulse pounding best.

In A Week - Nothing says romance like two lovers decomposing in a field together, scaring the cows and slowly turning into food for the foxes and crows.  A beautiful tune, gorgeously sung as a duet with Karen Crowley.  He claims this was meant to be very tongue-in-cheek, and god I hope he’s not lying because I worry about the boy sometimes.

Nobody - My personal favorite, this one is a road song chronicling a love through comparison.  He tells his sweetheart how much he misses her, not with the actual words I miss you, but through a series of either/ors:

If I had the choice between hearing either noiseThe excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voiceAt first chance I’d take the bed warmed by the bodyI once warmed my hands over a burnin’ MaseratiStill I’ve had no love like your love

A cute love song full of playful devotion to an absent lover.  Just perfect.

Shrike -  I should have put this higher up on the list, I know.  You’ll understand what I mean when you listen to it.  A Shrike is a murderbird, btw.  Yeah, he’s comparing his powerful desire to express his love (after having tragically/stupidly missed a prior opportunity to do so) to a Shrike (him) impaling food on a thornbush (her).  Again, it’ll make sense when you listen to it.  A beautiful, haunting, lushly lyrical song about wistful longing.

Wasteland Baby -  This song, geezus.  The world is ending, it’s here, it’s happening, and he’s watching it all come down while sitting next to you, holding your hand, waiting for it to reach the pair of you as the flames lick the sky.  Neither of you are scared, just at peace, together, waiting for the end of it all to take you.  Oddly beautiful, and his voice - god, his voice.  Wasteland baby, I’m in love, I’m in love with you.

Movement - A love song to all the things you see in your lover that are lacking in yourself.  Poetic and poignant, coming from a towering giant with a tendency to trip over his own feet, singing about his lover being graceful and feeling moved by the way she moves.

NFWMB - Yes, it means what it looks like.  Nothing Fucks With My Baby, and yes he says that word every other line.  But the way he utters it with such dreamy conviction is just…ugh, it’s a horny song okay?  Just unabashedly horny.  And romantic, because he’s not making a bar room threat as in NOTHING fucks with my baby!!, he’s issuing a laid back warning that if you DO fuck with his baby, she will straight up fuck you up and he will sit back and watch, shaking his head in an I told you so sort of sympathy.  His baby is so terrifying that the goddamn apocalypse willingly averted itself when it saw she was in the vicinity.  An ode to a strong lover that he respects with every fiber of his being and by god you should too.

From Eden - Basically a love song from the devil’s point of view.  I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.  That’s romantic, folks.

Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue) - My second favorite song in, like, the entire history of music.  Remember when I said NFWMB was unabashedly horny?  Well, this is a song about oral sex.  No qualms, no masking in flowery terms, and a whole lot of borderline blasphemous comparisons to religious verbiage to boot.  And it’s one hell of a banger, with Hoz howling like his baby just put her mouth on him (which is the chorus, more or less).  A no-apologies hard driving ballad devoted to fellatio, which I find oddly romantic in the simple fact that he speaks of it as a holy act of devotion.  He worships his lover, who is, ironically, the one on her knees in the holy posture of prayer in front of him.  And god does he love her for it.

Jackie And Wilson - This one is tricky, because it’s a rousing catchy tune flowing around a set of words that, once you listen carefully to them, become a whole lot of not what I thought.  He speaks of love, and of being saved, and of the attentive care that his lover gives him.  Only later do we hear the truth behind those words - that the love was obsessive and immature, that the savior casually abandoned him without even saying goodbye, that her care was no more than an amused tolerance to his childish adoration.  She knew all along that she wasn’t in it for the long haul, while he was making plans for forever.  But all hope isn’t lost - he’s not irreparably damaged, he isn’t ruined for life.  He simply goes and digs up the version of himself that he buried at the beginning, and starts again.  A little more experienced, a bit more jaded, but ready to do it all over again because maybe it’ll be right next time.  A hopefully romantic little cautionary tale that somehow doesn’t lose its playfulness, even as he’s putting out his cigarette and noticing that she’s gone.

Do I Wanna Know - this is a cover/retool of the song of the same name by Arctic Monkeys, and it is sublime in its sad yearning.  While the original is a driving, dark, sexy ode to obsessive love, Hozier’s version is a gentle, tender, hauntingly heart-tugging song about longing and uncertainty.  It’s a slow game of she loves me, she loves me not being played by a lover who is unsure if it’s worth the bother to try to fall in love with someone else if the current object of his laconic affections is no longer interested in him, or if he should just keep trying to win her back and keep the status quo as is.  And his voice…god, the way he caresses words is like he’s making love to your ears without the messy cleanup afterward.

There are more - but I’m going to draw the line here and say ENOUGH FOR NOW, YOU’RE NEW, YOU’RE NOT PREPARED FOR THE REST.  I mean…Angel of Small Death?  Sedated?  Arsonist’s Lullaby?  The hardcore underlying symbolism of his flagship ballad Take Me To Church?  It Will Come Back, for god’s sake??  No, not yet.  Go, dip your toe into the waters, and then come back when you’re ready for more…because everything this man has ever done is brilliant and beautiful and profound, and oh boy do I look forward to ruining another innocent with it all :)

[lostsummerdayz]

Otakon 2019 In Review - The Language of Cosplay and Music

The legacy of famed artist, Nujabes, bridges two nations and two cultures together many years later

By. Nay Holland

Hello and good morning! Good afternoon! Good evening! Wherever you are reading this across all of the seven seas, or in the comfort of your own home, Lost Summer Dayz is here to bring you an exclusive report! A report none other than Otakon itself! This was my second time attending Otakon, with my first being way back in 2012, when it was still held in Baltimore.

There were several firsts for me the past weekend. It was my first time ever being inside Washington instead of passing through. Secondly, it was my first time attending the convention within the Washington venue. As such, I was coming into this convention, excited on what it would hold for me. For several reasons. Did Otakon live up to my hype that I had built up for it in my mind? We’ll find out now!

Our Otakon 2019 story begins earlier within the month of July, contrary to the day of travel. I had first heard the news of Otakon via a suggestion of the group I am affiliated with, the Geeks of the Round Table. What made me dead set on wanting to attend the event, however, were two major reasons.

The first reason was the Tribute to Nujabes concert and the chance to see quite possibly one of my favorite Japanese artists, MINMI. The second reason was to also meet my actual muse for getting me into Japanese music, Taku Takahashi. Everything else would have been a bonus, and the entire experience was indeed a giant love letter to the culture. But! I am getting way ahead of myself here!

Nessa and Leon from Pokemon Sword and Shield credit: bunsonbunscosplay

Knowing this, I’ve purchased the tickets to Otakon and VIP for the concert, and twiddled my thumbs waiting for this eventful weekend to arrive. Sure enough, on Thursday, July 25th, the morning did come. Meeting up with my fellow cohorts, we embarked on our bus ride to the event! At least, we would have, had the bus not arrived an hour late, thus making the trip a six hour trek. (The ride back was way more palatable, thankfully!)

The moment we arrived at Union Station we were greeted by panhandlers.

It was at that moment I realized, we never truly left New York after all.

Okay, so, D.C is different enough from NYC, but within the first thirty minutes of us walking to our hotel, I felt a sense of familiarity from the city. Aside from the White House that loomed in the distance, I grew accustomed to the city streets. It was just like walking through New York, but smaller. We’ve arrived at our hotel and once settled in, I departed to pick up my badge.

This was the main reason why I wanted to arrive at the con the day before the official first day. Thursday is considered to be “Day 0”, yet with the amount of staff assisting attendees, the abundance of cosplayers both inside and surrounding the venue, and the overall hustle bustle, one could easily assume that this was “Day 1” instead. There was so much activity that I stayed around for a few minutes after I had picked up my badge, just to take in the atmosphere. It was truly the calm before the storm.

Day 1, Friday. The gates were let wide open and Otakon commenced!

The Nujabes concert wasn’t until 8 and I had to be on the line by at most, 7, so I had about a good twelve or so hours to take in the Otakon experience. One of the first things I did was head to the game room, as per routine for any convention.

Ran by the lovely people at Tokyo Attack, the lineup for the arcade portion of the game room ranged from Gundam VS, to Dance Rush, DDR, Pump It Up, Sound Voltex, Nostalgia, Pop’n, Chunithm, BeatStream, and others. There wasn’t a IIDX machine once again, but with a star studded cast of niche Japanese rhythm games, I couldn’t complain.

I literally couldn’t believe they had IDZ. First time EVER seeing it in person!

At two, there was a Tekken tournament that I did participate in, that deserves a mention briefly!

Oh boy, here comes Nay a.k.a “Cereal K.” plugging in his Tekken experience at any event he goes to again!

Alisa from Tekken credit: sugarc0maa

In my defense, it wasn’t the main reason why I came to Otakon! Remember when I said “bonus”? This was the “bonus” albeit, I didn’t get too far in the tournament itself. I was one win away from top eight if that's any consolation, but, overall all who I played against were really good and I enjoyed my time hanging with my good friends in both the Tekken scene and the Otakon staff!

Annie from League of Legends credit: gbudnyjr

With still more time to kill before the Nujabes concert, I took more pictures of cosplayers throughout the convention. You’ll see pictures of them throughout the article spread across all three days, with their information underneath for you guys to check out! Part of the magic in attending conventions are the cosplayers. I’ve said this in my Castle Point article if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts, but, in a large scale convention like Otakon, you’ll never know who you might end up meeting.

One particular cosplayer however deserves a special mention. What started out as asking for a photo of her cosplay, due to the overall rarity of seeing a Tekken cosplay aside from the Alisa cosplayer in the tournament earlier that day, ended with a kindled friendship over the course of the weekend. Known as Kawaii Kiki Cosplay on Instagram and Facebook, Kiki has been cosplaying since 2013, yet has been attending Otakon since roughly 2009.  I was able to sit down with her briefly to have a conversation as she was open and friendly to share her story with me.

Straight from the DMV area herself, her cosplay ventures began in 2013, when a Sailor Moon group cosplay was in need of a replacement senshi. She answered the call, and the rest was history. Being a graduate of the Art Institute, she’s able to utilize her academic knowledge into her cosplay for optimal effectiveness. For example, when I first met her on Friday she was cosplaying Asuka from Tekken. Being recently introduced to the Tekken series,  she was able to capture the character well. As we spoke several attendees exclaimed in excitement as they, too, asked for her photo. It was these reactions, that made the cosplay worth it.

“Cosplay for me, is like one in costume wearing a Disney Princess outfit in Disney world for kids. I want my cosplay to enact a similar excitement for those who see me. I want to make others happy with who I’m cosplaying as,” she reflects.

It isn’t about how much you know about your cosplay, but rather, how much you are able to bring joy to others for wearing said cosplay.

There are some personal favorites that Kiki has in her arsenal, such as another Asuka cosplay she wore for the second day of Otakon. This Asuka was from Evangelion, with the outfit made to appear similar to Asuka’s  Eva 02. Lastly, she carried around a stuffed version of the iconic Pen Pen along with her. Perhaps her most favorite cosplay and convention experience was her appearance in Blizzcon last year, when she cosplayed as Leah from Diablo 3. The excitement of being around those who enjoy the same medium as her, while also cosplaying as an important character from said game, was enough to enhance the experience for her.

If any of you guys reading this have the chance, please give her some love! She’s a really amazing cosplayer and woman to hang around with and it was my pleasure to talk with her. Follow her at Kawaii Kiki Cosplay!

To round up Day 1, we have the Tribute to Nujabes concert. From the beginning, the message was clear. It was not just an ode to a legendary man, but an ode to hip hop.

The MC EyeQ blessed the stage, following Maryland’s own Substantial, then Shing02.

Seeing Substantial and Shing02 live, performing songs that I had listened to since my high school years gave me a sense of euphoria. At the time, over ten years ago when I was a sophomore in high school, I would listen to Nujabes during my lunch breaks in school. This was back during a time when I still used the pen and paper to write. Lyrics, fiction, whatever came to mind. Listening to the backdrops that Nujabes laid out, with rappers such as Substantial and Shing02, who would bless that very stage, tuned out life’s many inconsistencies at the time.

Coping with my grandmother’s passing, failing classes due to woes back at home, and overall trying to get a grasp of my existence. His music, along with the lyrics of everyone on that stage, helped me get through high school. To see them live and perform was what my teenage self would have wanted. I felt like I was fifteen again.

Being the opening act, EyeQ shuts it down while backed by DJ Okawari beats.

And then there was the final set. Adorned in an intricately designed kimono with long flowing hair comparable to a goddess herself, Minmi emerged basked in light. She took to the stage singing Shiki no Uta, the original ED to Samurai Champloo, and as the song ended, she shed her garment to reveal a flowing yellow tracksuit.

This was her way of saying “The gloves are coming off.” She had our attention, and we were under her spell for the next hour.

Performing some of her hits including Sumertime!!!, Hibiscus, and one of her recent singles, #Yacchaitai. Following these songs, the scene shifted once more as she pulled up a piano and started singing slower ballads. These included a cover of Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You,” Who’s Theme, and Sha Na Na. The last song was all the more powerful considering that Sha Na Na, originally a Dancehall classic, was sung in a ballad.

I’ve been a huge fan of MINMI for almost as long as I’ve been a fan of Nujabes and those who had graced the stage. She brings special mention because for a while, during my college years, I was growing accustomed to a new phase in my life. A new scenery in college, new friends, old ones moving from the city, long lasting relationships coming to a close, and overall I felt alone.

I first heard of MINMI through Samurai Champloo and a dear friend of mine who was unable to make it to Otakon with me, Devin Harris, had got me into her outside of the anime.

There’s this Japanese used book store called Book Off where I was able to find used CDs of hers, and since then I’ve been hooked. My knowledge of the Japanese language is limited, but, even through her music I could sense the energy and influence that Western music had on her. It was a different type of energy she brought with her, even hearing her as guest vocals on songs such as m-flo’s “Lotta Love.”

MINMI performing her cover of Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You”

She can bring out the energy, but also allow her audience to cool down as well. She can be the hype of the party as well as the emotional support. Dedicating her final songs to the tragedy at Kyoto Animation, she made me feel a wide range of emotions. Very few musicians I’ve had the pleasure of listening to, have had the range that MINMI has.

For me to be able to have a chance to see her live was a treat. For me to meet her after the concert and tell her these things and more, was the icing on the cake.

Day 2 began with meeting quite possibly my biggest influence in Japanese music, Taku Takahashi. You may notice a pattern at this point, with Nujabes, Substantial, Shing02, and MINMI all being music of my adolescence, and Taku does not break away from this mold. Being a third of the trio of talented artists known as m-flo, m-flo as a group exposed me to music I would have never known existed outside of New York.

I was just thirteen at the time during middle school. I already felt like an outcast because my, then, budding tastes in anime and “nerd culture” caused me to be the odd one out. I was into DDR at the time, so I would join several online communities where we would talk about music from DDR. M-flo was one of the groups brought up. While technically not being in DDR at the time, their songs were featured in beatmania IIDX, a rhythm game I mentioned earlier. When IIDX was in its infancy, it was possible to link a IIDX machine and a DDR machine, known as “Club Versions,” to allow players to play IIDX songs on DDR machines. This was how I found out about m-flo.

I liked their style of hip hop and how familiar it sounded to me, despite the language barrier. From the beginning, they always had a style to blend Western Hip Hop with a local flavor to call it their own. They were one of the pioneers of the Japanese Hip Hop renaissance period, and I would be introduced during the tail end of it. Just as I was getting into m-flo, they were starting their “m-flo loves” series, in which their next three albums, Astromantic, Beat Space Nine, and Cosmicolor, would feature heavily on collaborators. One of these collaborators as I’ve also mentioned earlier, would be MINMI.

LSD ❤ ☆Taku Takahashi!

I’ve been an m-flo fan for a very long time. Not just as a group, but for their solo careers as well. From the rapper, VERBAL, being a consistent feature on Nujabes’ earlier works as L-Universe, his collaborations with Pharrell, and his fashion career. From the singer, Lisa, with her solo career and independent projects. Lastly, there’s Taku Takahashi himself.

Of the three I resonated with him the most, considering how many works he had become a part of over the years. From his works with House Nation, DJing, collaborations and remixes independently. To his recent features on IIDX and his musical works in anime which includes Panty and Stocking to his most recent being Carole and Tuesday. To list everything that these three had done independently as well as a group, would double the reading length of this article. Needless to say, to have a chance to meet one of the hardest working artists in the business, who started as an inspiration for my music tastes as well as learning more about Japanese culture, made me starstruck. Pun intended.

After meeting him, there was the Nujabes tribute panel to accompany the concert from the night before. Seeing everyone on the panel, most of whom I had met either the night before or a few hours prior and hearing their stories, left me with a deeper understanding on the influence that Nujabes had.

There was also a lot that I’ve learned involving some of the work that went into the songs for Samurai Champloo. Back on the subject of MINMI, the inspiration for “Who’s Theme” was more personal than I had initially thought.

I had always had speculation that “Who’s” was meant to be “Fuu’s,” as the main character in Samurai Champloo was arguably Fuu. Somewhere there was a loss in translation and Fuu was mistaken as Who due to the way Fuu sounds in the native tongue. She mentioned that the song was, indeed, “Fuu’s Theme,” but her inspiration for writing that song was putting herself in the character of Fuu.

There are some minor spoilers for Samurai Champloo here, but, Fuu’s goal in Samurai Champloo was to find a “samurai who smells of sunflowers.” Ultimately, the “sunflower samurai” was Fuu’s father, and the loss of her father was her driving force to find her against all odds.

MINMI read the script of Samurai Champloo and it instilled an emotion inside of her that she could relate to. The feeling of loss, the feeling of separation from one’s family. Feeling what Fuu felt, she used Fuu as a muse to write the song. This brings a new meaning to the song itself, as you can feel the words that are being said by her.

This was a point that everyone at the panel brought up. It was a question I’ve had since middle school, which was finally answered that very day.

“How can I, who does not know Japanese, appreciate the music? How can I, who does not know Korean, influence my musical choice for many years to come?”

Aside from Japanese music, I was also getting into Korean hip hop and R&B at that time as well. Despite the language barriers, when it comes to music, we all have an ability to feel an emotion. Happiness, sadness, it doesn’t matter what language it’s spoken. Music is a language we feel. Nujabes’ ear for music tastes, whether he wanted to go for the urban sound or a more traditional one, was an ear that understood the universal language of emotion. Everyone in that room, be it on the panel or as an attendee, had felt that language spoken to us in one way or another.

Later on that night, everything came full circle. I was able to go to the Otakon rave and see Taku perform his set. Remember when I said that MINMI was a collaborator with m-flo during their “loves” series? He had brought her out as a guest during his set and she performed the song she collaborated with m-flo, “Lotta Love,” live.

A vast majority of the crowd may have been introduced to her that night, but it was an energy that was felt. The music alone was enough to make everyone dance and have a good time, further answering my question. I left that night, no, I left that weekend in a state of content.

While I never had the chance to meet Nujabes when he was alive, he lives in in his music. He lives on in the memories of those he had worked with, those he has influenced, and those who listened to his music. I left D.C with a value that was priceless than any merch. Although the weekend came and went, the memories I made, the people I got to experience, and the stories I got to hear, will resonate with me for the rest of my life.   Rest in Power, Jun Seba As a bonus, this was probably the hypest part of the night. Watching Shing02 and all who had performed, perform a cypher to Battlecry backed by Team Red Pro breaking. Blood was left on the stage that evening and it was a massacre of beats and lyrics.

See you next year, Otakon!

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Memory & Maybe

Leonard continues to get acclimated to the Waverider and the team, three years after the Oculus. It's not easy. A direct sequel to "A Million Miles Away" and another prequel to "Me vs. You."

I decided I wanted to post this before Legends airs. It's not like I don't know it's an utter AU already, but I rather like this Charlie (whom I've sort of used before) and I'm holding on to her as long as I can. (Hey, they're dealing with magical creatures this season, right? It could happen!) 

For @larielromeniel, who wanted to see how Leonard would meet the newbies. And thank you for the beta!

Can also be read here at AO3.

Someone else—one of the women—is in his old room now. She—Zari—offers to move, but Leonard declines. The Waverider crew rooms are pretty much interchangeable. There’s no point in ousting her when he can just move into a spare.

He tries not to think about the times he and Sara had played cards on that bed. That’s stupid. Sentimental. It’s just a room.

We have to hide.

Don’t try to distract me.

The Brit in the trench coat mentions that he “wouldn’t say no to a roommate, mate”—wink, wink—but Leonard simply blinks at him, feeling far too at sea right now to flirt back or even respond to it. The man gives him a considering look, then nods thoughtfully and not without sympathy.

“Let’s have a pint later in the galley,” he says quietly. “Get acquainted.” He gives Leonard a smile that manages to be wry and understanding at the same time. “And for once, I mean that perfectly innocently.”

So now Leonard’s standing in an empty room, staring at the walls while Mick and Raymond retrieve his packed-up belongings. He’d asked about his gun, but Mick had sighed and Raymond had gone white and refused to speak, so he’s letting that go right now. He knows enough of the specs these days that he’s pretty sure he can just work with Gideon to recreate it. Maybe even make it better.

The rooms are different: the bed looks more comfortable (not that it would take much) and there’s more storage space. Raymond had said that Jax had been working to revamp them, and there’s another little pang. Leonard hopes the kid is OK and happy, wherever he is.

Three years.

Gideon had given him a clean bill of health. He was precisely as he had been when the Oculus exploded: same physical age, constructed left forearm and hand and all. Her supposition was that his position at the heart of the explosion had thrown him into the timestream so immediately that none of the more destructive energies had touched him, literally suspending him in time. No one, yet, had any idea why the temporal fluctuations surrounding him had only recently grown so rough that the Time Bureau had noticed them, but Leonard��s sure someone will have theories eventually.

He doesn’t really care. He has enough to deal with.

He hasn’t seen Sara since she’d headed off with the Time Bureau director, and maybe that’s just as well. He’s having enough trouble finding his feet and getting accustomed to things here…now…without dealing right then with the reality that they almost certainly won’t be able to go back to their old friendship, let alone anything more. He doesn’t go where he’s not wanted, not in this respect anyway, and…

There’s a noise behind him, and he turns to see the two new women on the team standing in the doorway, watching him. They don’t look as wary and upset as the other new guy had been, but they do look tentative. More than that, though, they look curious. Well, he can deal with that.

“Hey,” the one named Zari says, giving him a little wave. “How are you doing? Sorry again that I took your room.”

Leonard shrugs. “Well,” he drawls, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “it wasn’t like I was using it.”

“Still.” When he doesn’t complain about their proximity to his (new) space, Zari takes a step forward, edging into the room, the other woman following suit. “We, ah, asked Gideon to tell us who you are. More about who you are,” she adds. “She told us what the Oculus was and how you blew it up.” Her quick smile is definitely pleased. “Badass.”

She continues before he can respond to that, or really digest the thought that the remaining original team members mention him so rarely that these newcomers don’t even know who he is. “I really hate the idea of someone being able to pull my strings like that. And I don’t really like people who set themselves up as some sort of…moral authority.” A quirk smirk. “Ask Sara.”

Leonard lifts his eyebrows, a little surprised, but pleasantly.  “Yeah,” he manages. “Same here.” He glances at the other woman, who’s staring at him intently with what almost seems to be puzzlement in her gaze--like she’s not quite sure what to make of him. He lifts an eyebrow at her, making the request for introduction obvious, he thinks, and Zari elbows her, getting a glare in return before she looks back at him.

“I’m Charlie,” she says, and he’s never heard an introduction sound quite so defensive and angry before. But he understands anger, and he understands a healthy disrespect for authority, and he thinks maybe he could work with these two. Maybe they’ll get along just fine.

“Pleased to meet you, Charlie,” he tells her cordially, ignoring the anger. “And what…”

“Hey!” The man from before, the one who’d cautioned the others against him, stops in the doorway. He’s carrying a crate, and it appears he’s actually bringing some of Leonard’s packed-up belongings, but the look on his face is anything but friendly. “Zari…Charlie…I told you about…”

Zari rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “Not the boss of me…” she sing-songs, while Charlie gives the newcomer a look that’s so filled with irritation that Leonard wonders about the history there. Still, they both apparently decide it’s better to let Leonard get to the business of looking into his things, stepping back toward the door. Charlie just leaves, but Zari winks at Leonard first—a friendly wink, and a commiserating one, nothing more. But nothing less, either.

“Nice to meet you,” she says, ignoring the other man. “Anyone Mick and Ray trust so much is OK in my book.”

And then she leaves, as Leonard wonders that she didn’t mention Sara and the newcomer stands there, still staring at him.

He’s not in the mood to deal with criticism from someone he’s never even met. Leonard lifts his chin and despite his current state of uncertainty, gives the man his best Captain Cold glare.

It doesn’t help. In fact, the man’s frown grows a little more pronounced, his discomfort shifting into what might almost be anger.

“We fought you,” he blurts out then. “You were part of the Legion of Doom.”

Leonard blinks at him. “The Legion of what?” he manages.

The other man’s continued without pause. “The Legion,” he repeats. “The Reverse Flash, Malcolm Merlyn, Damien Darhk. And you.”

Leonard knows two of those names. The Reverse Flash was Ramon’s name for the first speedster enemy Allen had acquired. And Merlyn…

That was the man who’d killed Sara. Or as close as didn’t matter. She’d told him once, over cards. She’d acted like it didn’t matter, not anymore. But it did.

“I did not,” Leonard hisses back, his discomfort with the very idea coming out as anger, and a corner of him is almost glad to see the other man step back in the face of it. “I never worked with…with them.”

But the fellow is made of sterner stuff than expected, and there’s steel in those eyes as his chin goes up too.

“You killed Amaya. You froze her and shattered her,” he continues inexorably. “And you helped them rewrite reality. Thawne and Merlyn and Darhk…the man who killed Sara’s sister, for crying out loud!”

What?

“Sara’s sister is dead?” he says, staring. “When? What happened?”

The man is in no mood to give his perceived enemy any information, however. “You killed Mick too,” he says, staring back at Leonard. “Icicle through the heart. And…”

“The hell?” Mick himself had appeared, carrying a crate, Raymond following him with another. “Damn it, Pretty…”

“What?” both the new guy and Leonard ask in irritation, looking at Mick, then looking back at each other with even more ire.

Raymond coughs back a laugh, but Mick’s in no mood for humor. “That wasn’t him,” he says, staring at the man. “It wasn’t. Any way you spin it.”

“Nate,” Raymond butts in, putting his crate down and finally giving Leonard’s antagonist a name, “I have to restack some stuff in the cargo bay where we found these. Come give me a hand.”

Nate gives Raymond a look, but he still follows him, giving Leonard a glance that’s probably supposed to be threatening before he leaves. It’d almost be funny if Leonard wasn’t so disturbed by his words. He gives Mick his own look, and the bigger man sighs, putting his crate down.

“They said it was old you, from before the Flash, from long before the Legends,” he mutters, looking away. “They picked you up then, the Legion, told you that you were gonna die, and you worked with them.”

Leonard didn’t know what to say. “It was me?” he asks finally. “Really?” He’d killed Mick? Worked with the bastard who’d had Sara killed, the bastard who’d apparently killed her sister? No wonder she didn’t want to talk to him.

Mick shrugs, glancing away. “I dunno.” He glances back. “You don’t remember anything?”

Leonard been racking his memory. “No,” he says shortly. “Not at all.”

“Eh.” Mick looks down. “I sorta used this memory-wiping thing on you…him.”

Leonard digests that. “You can do that now?

“Yeah.” His friend glances up, a spark in his eyes. “But I still think that wasn’t really you,” he says firmly. “Maybe like a Dark Snart, someone from another Earth, like Leo.”

There’s that name again, a name that brings up unpleasant memories from his childhood, and his jaunt back to 1975. “Leo?”

Mick starts to speak, then stops. “I need beer for this,” he tells Leonard firmly. “And so do you. Trust me.”

Leonard considers, then acknowledges that with a tip of his head. “OK by me. Galley in the same place?”

“Yep.” But then Mick pauses again, and there’s something almost…soft…in his eyes, something that speaks of the feelings they’ve both staunchly denied having. Leonard will admit that as he gradually sorts through the variety of issues related to his three-year time skip, he is glad that Mick seems so…settled? More at peace. More at…home?

Well. At least there’s that.

“Glad you’re back, Snart,” though, is all Mick says.

“Me too, Mick. Me too.”

Raymond and the Brit in the trench coat—he introduces himself as John Constantine, and while that seems to be vaguely familiar, Leonard isn’t sure precisely how—join them in the galley, and there are beers acquired all ‘round. He takes a drink of his, reflecting that he hasn’t had anything to eat or drink, apparently, in three years, and looks at the others.

“So,” he says, “who’s Leo?”

Constantine makes a noise that’s thoroughly admiring—Leonard lifts an eyebrow, but otherwise ignores him—and takes a drink, winking at Leonard again. But he glances at Mick rather than replying himself, and the bigger man nods, as if steeling himself to speak.

“Well,” he says, after taking a long pull from his beer. “Nazis attacked Allen’s wedding. Nazis from another Earth. The you from that Earth goes by ‘Leo.’ ”

So many words today aren’t making sense. “Nazis?” Leonard asks blankly. “From another Earth?”

“Yeah.”

“Scarlet got married?” And he wasn’t there to crash it? Damn.

That gets a snort from Mick and a laugh from Raymond. “Eventually,” the scientist says, taking a sip of his own drink. “Leo’s cool. He’s…different. From, uh, you. He likes hugs and he likes talking it out. Playing counselor.”

Leonard stares at him, vaguely appalled. “No.”

“Yes,” Raymond responds happily.

Constantine sighs gustily. “A damn-fine-lookin’ man,” he says thoughtfully, putting his feet on the stool next to him. “But sadly, quite thoroughly taken.”

Leonard gives Mick a quizzical look. His friend shrugs. “Fella by the name Ray Terrill,” he says. “Ever heard of him?”

“Nope.” Leonard stared into his beer, wondering. This Leo seemed…rather more likeable than he’d ever considered himself. Or cared. But...

“Anyway, we beat them,” Raymond continued. “Leo and his Ray went back to Earth-X. They’re getting married! But he visits sometimes.” He gives Leonard a grin, then looks at Mick. “Oh! Tell him about the puppet.”

But Leonard holds up a hand. “No,” he commands. “Don’t tell me about the puppet. I don’t wanna know about the puppet.” And he doesn’t want to know more about the oh-so-charming Leo, who very definitely isn’t him. “Tell me about the other newbies.” He pauses. “And who’s Amaya?”

Constantine and Raymond exchange glances, but Mick’s eyes go distant. “She was parta the team,” he says quietly. “Went back home, though. To 1942.”

There’s more there. Leonard knows it with every fiber of his being. But this isn’t the time to pursue it. “Ah,” he manages, deciding to leave the question of this missing woman behind him. Especially since his doppelganger apparently killed her. Sort of. “The newbies?”

“Well,” Raymond cuts in, leaning forward, “it’s weird. Charlie looks just like Amaya! But she isn’t.” He takes a healthy gulp of his beer as Leonard stares at him and Constantine guffaws at his expression. “Well, that’s a long story. And it’s even weirder for Nate. But…”

But Leonard’s staring at Mick now, and the other man is shaking his head, something complicated in his own eyes. Again.

“Charlie only looks like Amaya,” he tells Leonard. “She found ‘Maya’s image in Gideon’s database and decided she liked it. She can change shape.”

Words continue to not make sense. Leonard tilts his head, waiting. “So,” he says after the silence stretches. “Who is she?”

Mick pauses…then grins. “She’s a dragon,” he says raptly.

No sense. At all. “A dragon.”

“Yeah.”

And Leonard knows that look. Oh, crap.

Leonard stares at him, then looks at Constantine and Raymond. The latter gives him a nod and a particularly goofy grin. Constantine just shakes his head.

“We’re dealing with magical creatures, mate,” he says, not without sympathy. “It gets weird. Make this lot explain to you how it started, ‘cause I’m not up to it right now.”

Leonard just plain doesn’t want to right now. He takes a bigger swig of his beer than usual. “And Zari?”

“She’s a hacker,” Raymond tells him. ”From the future. And she has this wind totem.” He snaps his fingers. “Oh! The totems. We need to explain the totems. And Beebo.”

“What the fuck is a Beebo?” Leonard does have a vague memory of some children’s toy, but he decides, abruptly, that he doesn’t want to ask. He just can’t deal with more weirdness. “Never mind. Seriously. Tell me later. Maybe much later.”

Raymond looks disappointed, but nods. “Well. Anyway. Good to have you back, Snart.” He gives Leonard a tentative grin. “Really. Hasn’t been the same.”

Leonard allows his shoulder to be patted, giving Mick a long-suffering look, and watches as the scientist wanders off. Constantine lets out a snicker, finishing his own beer, then rises.

“Well, I’m sure this isn’t going to easy for you, mate,” he tells Leonard seriously. “But welcome back to the land of the living. You need any fillin’ in on the magic stuff, let me know.” He smirks. “Over another drink, if you want.”

Leonard eyes him. “Got it.”

Constantine chuckles, tilts his head toward them, and saunters off, into the corridors of the Waverider. Leonard, bemused, watches him go. And decides not to ask. For now.

Instead, he just looks at Mick, who looks back.

“You gonna stay?” his friend asks abruptly. “On the ship? I mean. I know a lot’s changed.”

Leonard’s still feeling very at sea, but he has a very definite feeling that if he makes the wrong decision here, he’ll lose even more than he’s already lost.

“I can’t really see goin’ back to Central and picking up where I left off,” he says after a moment. “But I do want to go tell Lisa. Soon as I can.” He eyes Mick. “Still, I’m staying. For now.”

Mick nods, and Leonard doesn’t think he’s imaging the faintest look of relief on the other man’s face.

But then Mick presses it.

“Blondie…” he starts.

Leonard holds up a hand. “No, Mick.”

His friend gives him a rather combative look (which is very Mick) laced with concern (which isn’t). “You should…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The words come out harsher than he’d meant.

Mick regards them, then shrugs. “Fine,” he mutters, getting to his feet. “On you, then.”

Leonard watches him go, sitting there in the galley alone, nursing his beer.

He can do this, he decides, a little grimly. He’ll make this work. It won’t be the same, but he can go back to being Mick’s partner, Raymond’s…frenemy? Sure, that works. And he’s pretty sure he can work just fine with Zari, Charlie and Constantine. Nate will just have to deal.

But Sara…

His role here has always been snarky opposition to the captain. It’s a good role. He’ll miss Rip in that regard. Sara…Sara is undoubtedly a much better captain, but she’ll need that too. Someone to challenge her and provide counterpoint and back her up, sometimes.

And he can do that. And maybe…

He stifles the maybe.

The maybe is never going to happen.

[jaskiersbeloved]

3x05 Stronger Than Heaven

Warning: This review contains spoilers

1. LILITH

BITCH YOU KILLED FUCKING ANGEL! Like... I know she’s mother of all demons but... BITCH YOU KILLED FUCKING ANGEL! Okay, okay, I should calm down... Um... STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MAGNUS AND STOP MESING UP WITH HIS LIFE! Asdfghjkl... Why is she so pretty, I can’t stay mad long when someone is so pretty... I guess I’ll just focus on her demon form which is A FREAKING DRAGON. Damn, so extra XD Also I like how they are showing that she feels whenever one of her kids die... Holy crap, with Shadowhunters around she gotta have some magical painkillers for that...

2. ALEC

Damn. I got RELLY mad when he looked into that box. If someone would record me, I would look like a crazy woman screaming at the screen “DON’T YOU FUCKING D... ALEC FFS!”. And crap, did he got jelous... Like.... Ughhhhh so much shouting, I hate when people shout at each other... But hey, this Shadowhunter thankging him for his coming out? That was cute! And so importnat! Like yes, he can see that he affects people! And also he’s so damn good parabatai that I can’t... Just please... Don’t shout... :(

3. MAGNUS

You know what? I’m going to call Harry just to tell him that he got me tearing up just by simply lookng at the box. Like wow, legends only, ok? I’m SO worried for him! I mean Lilith screwed eveything up! Because of her he got... Melancholic... And fought with Alec... And I’m like “noooooooooo, let them be happy!” And also... OMG, imagine how will he feel when he discovers (because let’s not kid ourselves, he will) that the potion he made was used on Jace! If I know anything about Magnus is that he would take all of the blame on himself...

4, MALEC

Dramatic shirts summoning is dramatic, omg XD I’m not going to bark about how the hell they are together for “less than two months” because I have counted and found out that they are indeed right. So it makes sense why Magnus is weary about Alec moving in so quickly. And that little kiss was cute! *w* But that immortality talk... I’m not a fan of angst, but I’m willing to get throught this, because couples have bad days. It makes them more realistic. And at least Alec apologized for snooping into this box... I only worry what this might bring...

5. Clary

Oh dang, girl, you have a big storm coming... I’m really glad that she’s willing to learn, take responsobilites on herself, thinks beyond herself... but also poor her, witnessing an angel murder is NOT what I’d like to see... Damn... I’m also glad that she’s supportive of Izzy and finally told someone about Jace. Also Kat’s acting was SO GOOD in this scene with Luke at the office!

6. Jace

FINALLY YOU LOOKED AT YOUR PARABATAI FIRST, BEFORE YOU HAVE STARTED ABOUT YOURSELF! THANK YOU SO MUCH, THOUGHTFUL WRITER! Also I’m glad he immidietly decided that he wants to help Simon. It was really nice of him. And that he decided to go to the Silent Brothers for treatment. Too bad that Lilith turned him into a marionette. Now I really feel bad for him... He doesn’t deserve this shit. No one deserves to be enslaved by this woman.

7. Simon

Aw damn, poor him... But it’s not like I haven’t caled it? This was really suspicious that he just HAPPENED to find a place so perfectly fitting... Damn, the Sahdow World is really not cutting him any slack here, is it? He’s too pure for it. I mean he gave Kyle a second chance, a move that I would never do if I were him. Also this new song is so damn good!

8. JORDAN

MOTHERF... Okay I should probabbly stop with cursing, this review is full of them... But... No, okay,okay he was trying to simply do his job. He played nice. He SAID he was going to tell Simon the truth. I mean you can’t just go to someone and be like “hi, I was hired to guard you, move in, pls?”. And at least he listened to Simon. But I still got my eyes on you!

9. IZZY

IS MY BABY FINALLY HAPPY? YES? YES!! OMG, it’s about time! I’m so glad that she finally took the invitation! And she realy looked like she was happy just spending time with Charlie. And she also was super badass today! But yeah I agree... Seriously, splitting demons? But hey, your date worried and took you to the hospital, that’s nice! Also yay, glad that we know what she was doing with her necklace during 3x02! Braclet is so much better than necklace in my opinion!

10. Charlie

He seems to be so nice! Like he has fallen down for Izzy! But hey, he apologized for being a pain in the ass! And he is just so nice! He wants to know more about Izzy. He worried about her and took her to the hospital! I really hope that Izzy will agree for another date!

11. Luke

DAD LUKE YAY!! I love it that he’s right there for Clary and... WOW HE OWNS A FARM?! THAT ALSO LOOKS REALLY NICE!? Damn!! It’s so nice and cute, omg! I love how protective he is of Clary, how he hesitated to leave her alone! Give me more dad Luke, please!

12. CLEOPHAS

HELLO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! So glad to see you alive and safe! Her little talk with Luke was so heartwarming! And she hugged Clary on instant, it’s so nice!

13. Ithuriel

Hello I’m so sorry that you’re dead but the first rule of story telling says that if the charachter knows too much and is about to tell something importnant to the main, he has to die.

14. OVERALL

This was one of these episodes when I was literally shocked that it has ended so fast. And was pretty easy to follow, so that’s a huge plus! I loved Charlie’s and Izzy’s... Um.. Date? Jace’s a nd Simon’s story was also nice ^^ But I’m worried about Malec... Like REALLY worried, but I guess they’ll be fine. They have to be. So overall 4.5/6 Can’t wait for the next episode!

P.S. Have anyone noticed that Maia wasn’t in this episode?

[the-house-of-the-nine]

The Void Forge: The Beginning Part 1

“The Bastille was located in the heart of the ancient Nerubian Empire, several hundred feet beneath the surface of Dragonsblight and the Borean Tundra.  In fact, there was no actual way of determining where exactly the Nines fortress was located from the permafrost simply because of the ever changing defenses.  You see.  It was quite the marvel of magical mastery.  Raelyndia Duskhollow; Former Mistress of the Nine and Lazarius personally was so advanced in her creation of the temple to her god that she’d build an impenetrable base for operations.  Funny how it was impregnated by a seige only a century later by one who claimed to serve her, only to collapse it entirely.   Though that is not the story we are here to tell.  The key to the success of this singular entity was that the Bastille was moving, always.  The tunnels were so tightly intertwined with the lei lines of the world, carved out by the old god itself Yogg Saron on its path to nestle itself into the soil.  It was this magic that allowed her to claim such a place for her own.  It was this power that fueled her ambition to create her own Black Empire, or at least be bold enough to rival the one of the past. . .”

Sitting on the surface of a large wooden desk, the fine dressed Gilnean man dangled a leg off the edge, allowing it to swing while his hands; gloved in a fine white linen gently padded the top of his knee.  Algus Kross, the steward and personal guard, friend, father figure; to name a few, to the Inquisitor himself was peering into a room with only a handful of younger cultists who seemed to be looking over scrolls they’d been given for the purpose of this discussion.  

“Mister Kross.” poised a young man, roughly early twenties.  The male was human, and sitting beside an equally young green skinned orc.  The two hardly missed a beat as to their racial differences, it was non-existent. “If the Bastille is constantly moving, then why do we not feel it?  Why can’t we experience any shift?”

Kross couldnt hold back a cracked smile as it broke along the side of his mouth in response to the boys question. “My son, do we feel the planet spinning endlessly in the cold vast reaches of space?  Do we experience a shift when we are hurdling at a tremendous rate?” Kross honestly didn’t have an answer to counter the question, he was trying to pass through this one hoping to get by without retaliation.

“No but the Bastille is no planet.” exclaimed another younger elf, his blonde hair shadowing his fel fire eyes.

“True, yet we do not fully understand how or why the shift happens. . . you see-” Kross was suddenly interupted by the door opening.  Standing in the door frame of the tiny classroom was the Confessor, in all of her glory.  Verzatea Duskflame as she was known by the council, and those who served.  The dark woman silently cleared her throat a second time.

“When this structure was so valiantly raised from the ashes of its corpse like a phoenix rising to the heavens, our Inquisitor and myself witnessed something so breath taking that words alone could never truly express its greatness.”  Poetic, and eloquent were her words.  The woman’s diction was precise and powerful, and without so much as a hint of doubt.  She was firm, yet gentle at the same time.

“What did you see?”  asked one student.

“Yes, tell us. . . did the old ones aid you?” whispered another.

Kross silently rested himself along the surface of the desk while Verzatea closed her gleaming viridian eyes, thinking back to the day.  A flash of memories, synapse striking quickly in her mind, firing off bullet after bullet of the horrific visage she’d succumb to that night...

Lazarius standing atop the pile of rubble, fresh from his infusion of the bone fragments of the former Twilight Hammer leader Cho’gall.  His powers grown exponentially since.  His full abilities in motion as she surrounded them in a cocoon of shadow fire.  Their embracing of the dark powers given to them by their master.  Lazarius sprouting several hundred tentacles from his spine and body, using the sheer force and gravity of his void encompassed body to quite literally ‘raise the Bastille’ from the dead.  All the while, entities of the shadow realm trying to break the shield in which she so desperately trying to use to protect them both.  

Skyward they went, pulling the corpse of their fallen home up from the rubble.  Fires of black and crimson, voided in a purple flash, flares of detonating magical embers bursting second after second as they raced to the surface of the collapsed tunnel.  Though at the top, salvation.  It was their only chance for survival now.  There was no turning back.  Together, Lazarius and Verzatea would pull forge their way into the future with their final puzzle piece complete once more.  The home they so desperately needed to continue their success.  The Bastille was the lynch pin and with it, they would secure their place in the North as yet again, a dominant force...

She opened her eyes, the entire room training their vision on her while she stood there, motionless, silent and without so much as a flinch of her eyelash.  On the edges of their seats they waited, oh how they nearly begged to hear the greatness of their leaders.  As if mythical figures represented through Bard song and fable.  But Verzatea, she was humble.  She was no seeker of fortune and glory, she didn’t want to be recognized or even thought of as anything more than a silent party within the collective hive.  And without a single smile, she turned to exit the room.  Leaving them with only a simple answer.

“The future. . . and it is glorious.”

Nearly each of the younger students fell back into their seats, bewildered, curious and now left thinking even more so than before.  Their minds a buzz as they began to whisper and chatter among one another. Could that have been her ploy all along?  Get them to focus more on what they could be, than what had been?  Kross knew, and cleverly gave a smile as the Confessor exited the dark classroom.  He’d spent a great deal of his time with Verzatea during their time in the Kash’ebahl estate, she lived there for several months.  Kross placed a hand on the table top and gave it a slow palmed slap to catch the attention of the younger individuals.

“Alright, settle down. . . “ he said. “The connection between the Void and manipulating your surroundings, let us beg--”

“What do you think she meant?” their line of questioning began.

“Is there something she saw in the future. . . did she see this?”

“Are you certain we can also see things like this, or was it a situational experience!”

Kross smiled yet again.  It was odd to see him in such good spirits, yet being dead and cursed had its disadvantages.  One of them was that despite his ageless appearance and lack of time.  He was able to still enjoy the inquisitive minds of the apprentices who started their lives here with them.

“The Confessor speaks in a manner that remains subjective to the individual who is going to use it to his or her advantage.  She speaks clearly should you listen to her words and reach beyond what is simply said, to what the deeper meaning stands for.  You all are here because in some way or another you have been shunned, abandoned or simply left to rot in a world that would otherwise deem your views and ideals as punishment.  You live in a corrupted system that sees your genius as a threat because that is exactly what it is., you threaten the world because you seek to bring about their destruction.  It is no different than the insect and the bird above.  Neither is truly malevolent, though to either side; the other is a threat.  Should the bird eat the insect, it is viewed by its peers as the enemy.  And should the bird be overwhelmed and devoured, it would appear as though the insects are.  We are unique as we sit beyond the scope of what is good, or bad.  We are here to do one thing, and that is rebuild an empire through Chaos.  It is the natural order, through it the cycle can reset.  It will repeat and be reborn a new.”  Kross finished, his eyes weary as they shut to contemplate his words.

“Do you believe that we are growing closer to that goal Mister Kross?” asked an elven female several feet from the front of the room.

Kross hardly needed a moment to think on the question.  His eyes opened yet again.   White, nothing but white.  His cornea was missing, iris, pupil. . . it was a pool of empty white.  He looked at the girl and nodded his head.   Speaking softly in his gruff and withered voice.

“The Inquisitor leads us one step closer to victory with every passing moment.  He is tireless, unwavering and without any sign of slowing down.  Yes. . . I believe we are reaching the apex of our collected goals.  Soon others will realize this.  Many will despise us.  Many will ignore us.  Some may even try to take from us, that which we cherish the most; our lives. . .but some, like yourselves. . . some might aid us.  Join together with our cause and become legends in their own right.  Much like you are today.”  Kross peered across the room.  His voice shaking only for a moment before he cleared his throat and moved a hand back to the scroll nearby. “The connection of the void and how it manipulates your surroundings. . .”

“It is the evident process in which the two unbalanced forces mingle between one. . . “  started one student as silence overtook the scene.

As if pulling back from the room like a spectator, and panning down the hall, we would be moved to an entirely different area of the Bastille.   To the vent pipe in bedded into the wall, through the metallic shroud and down the tube further and further.  

“It allows us to shape and forge constructs to fit our situation through the equal distribution of spacial representation an. . . “

Through the duct work further, beyond the library, beyond the alchemists working tirelessly in their lower rooms.  Pass left and right beyond the different living quarters and kitchens.

“The first rule begins with the mind and only then can we project further into the physical world with our collective manifestations. . .”

Past the Pit of Nyotha, beyond the area where Lazarius hides the largest of his tomes, relics and items that none will ever see.  And directly into the Inquisition chambers.

“Light give me strength!”  screamed a man who was bound to a chair.  His elven ears drooped, he was in pain.  His chest filleted open like a fish that was being prepared to be sold at market.  His insides were nearly ready to burst from the remaining mangled mess that was perhaps just a layer deep.  Another jab or poke and a fountain of gore may have just come pouring out into his lap.

“The light. . .my dear boy, does not touch this place.   Nor shall it ever. . . unfortunately it is the current state of your predicament that the only salvation you will ever see. . . “  said the shirtless Inquisitor as he stood only inches away from the mans face.  He was covered in blood, and gripping the chin of the bound man. “Lies with me. . . now I will ask you one more time. . . tell me who Wrathion sold the Mogu artifacts to, and where they took them.”

And this was it.  Lazarius would either kill this bound man to extract the final bit of pain from him.   Or he would get the answer he required.  Either way.  He showed no remorse, and that was part of why his Inquisition was done as his Mistress had taught him.  In silence, in darkness, and with control.  

“I’ll tell you. . . please. . . please don’t. . .”

Ah, information.  Sweet, sweet information. . . .this would be interesting.  He thought to himself.  Let the fun. . . begin.

@susan-gampre​

@pyravari​

[myanalyticalcrutch-blog]

Pagan Poetry

Written for FS 464: Film as a Visual Poem, on September 18, 2017

Bjork is, like many poetic artists, misunderstood by a lot of people. However, there is a reason she has won awards and gotten media attention, other than her swan dress. She pours herself out into every song, and whether you understand what she is saying or not, you can feel the raw emotion behind it. Both the song and video for Pagan Poetry explore the dialog between love, pain, and lust. Bjork is telling us about her love for someone and the pleasure he gives her along with the pain attached to him. This pain is both wanted and unwanted, almost necessary for the relationship. The abstract images slowly become more clear, revealing different parts of Bjork herself. She is showing herself and becoming more comfortable, realizing what she wants before our eyes, being reborn in a sense. Love is considered sacred in most cultures. It is supposed to be the closest thing to a magical experience that you can have. The worst people can change for love, the true happiness makes them want to be better or opens their eyes to a new point of view. Love can also blind you from the bad things about your partner or the world itself. The shelter of love can both be constructive and destructive.

We witness the piercing of her nipples on screen. Body mutilation is shown as a way of expression and self-love as it is for many people. Many cultures even use it as a sign of honor or bravery. Whereas in many western cultures, tattoos, piercings, and scarification are seen as the sign of someone who hates themselves and others. It is seen as unprofessional and unfriendly, though it is slowly becoming more accepted. But it is also to resemble to piercing pain that love can be related to. The draping of pearls and lacing of the piercings on her back match the weaving of the messages and emotions of love and agony throughout the song. Her vocals are precise but have an animalistic quality, adding to the true emotion of the piece. The love and pain for her is instinctual human nature, but it has such a taboo around it, she must question if it is what is best for her. When her face is fully shown, she is smiling while singing, as though she is in ecstasy. However, as the song goes into a chant of “I love him” she stops singing on screen and seems to be in distress. This chant gives the song and video a sense of ritual, love and pain dialog ritually. One must always sacrifice something for love.

Many marriages end in divorce. I have always wanted to believe that love existed in the beginning or at least somewhere down the line. People are breaking the taboo that you must love one person forever. Love cannot exist without pain. She is wearing a dress by Alexander McQueen, a famous fashion designer, another artist. The dress exposes most of her torso with a mermaid bottom creating an incomplete wedding dress aesthetic. There are pearls, often seen as a feminine accessory, draped from her neck and shoulders. She is breaking taboos and bringing up stereotypes addressed to being a proper woman while she herself is embracing pain with love. She is opening exposing herself and the love and pain coupled with ecstasy and lust. The lyrics also suggest that perhaps there was an openness to the relationship at some point, or perhaps in her last relationship. This brings up the possibility that it started as something solely sexual and for her it developed into other feelings. It is often said that one of the most painful things in life is losing a lover or partner. She yells and shouts with a smile on her face that he makes her want to hurt herself. Shortly after we see an image of corset piercings on her back and blood around the holes. The weaving of these emotions is making her bleed and yet she will not let go of them because they also provide her with a sense of liberation from the bonds of social norms in relationships and as a woman.

People are highly affected by the emotions tied to poetry and music. Our lives are surrounded constantly by music and its effects. Some people argue that particular music can affect us negatively, while others claim that all music has a sense of liberation for individuals. According to legends, Orpheus was the first poet. He is usually depicted holding a musical instrument known as a lyre. In many images, the lyre is being held to his chest and close to his heart. It captures the soul of the poet, his love, his emotions, and all that he is. Music and poetry are to this day seen as way to ultimately expose yourself emotionally and express everything that you are and hope to be. Two important words that have risen from the lyre are lyrics and lyrical. These words are used to describe art from all genres, including music, painting, poetry, and film. All essential to an artist’s everyday life. Lyrics are words, often associated with poetry that are connected to a melody and are meant to be sung, not just spoken, however, there is a thin line that is often crossed between speaking and singing. Poetry itself is very musical. It is aware of rhythm, tones, and patterns. Chants and repetition can be seen in both music as well as poetry. The chorus of many modern songs is extremely repetitive and can evoke the feeling of a chant, especially when we look at genres like rap and hip hop. Rap is a genre that frequently crosses the line between singing and rapping and focuses highly on rhythm and rhyme just as poetry does, whereas other genres may focus more on the melody and the music.

As stated before, there is a thin line between music and poetry and they are often weaved together. They both deliver and story in a very strong, emotional, and intimate way. The artist is aware of all of the elements that go into his piece and strives to capture the essence of being human. This also applies to film, a visual poem. However, it is not a visual poem the same way that a painting is, it has literal movement and stillness contrasting each other. Film is a massive mixing pot of many different art forms. Greek tradition calls the poet and lyrical being, lyricism being strongly attached to passion. Plato had said that poets are enthusiasts. They are expressive, passionate and energized by that passion. To Plato, enthusiasm is a trance. Poets become enraptured by their subjects, they dig deeper and deeper into something and they cannot be pulled out of their art and passions. In The Republic, he says that poets should not be included in the city. They are radicals or have a tendency to embrace radical behavior and thoughts, and this is a danger to society. Poets abandon logic and twist language, they play with concepts like young children poking at dead animal carcasses. They explore depths of opinions and subjects that are taboo and to most people should not be thought about. Tarkovski’s poets illustrate two sides of this. His mad poet is loud and filled with rage. He is disruptive and subjects everyone in his presence to his truth, he scars them with the images of his death and the sounds of his final cried. The wise poet, however, uses silence to contemplate his message. It slowly sinks deep and has a chilling tone about it. He is caught in a silent trance while performing his final ritual.

In a sense, poets create their own language. Shakespeare is one example of a poet literally creating language. He betrayed the known laws of language and created terms and phrases that are still common in language long after his death. His impact on society and art is immeasurable. His plays have been rewritten and stories retold over and over. His plays often put people in the shoes of the poet, entrancing them and inviting them to think about the taboo and unusual. Topics of spirituality and sexuality are often covered in Shakespearean plays and poetry. Lyricism and poetry can represent the elevation of the voice and the gaze from the creation of language. As long as that language is lived through momentum and constantly fed with the energy of the poet and the audience.

Poetry embraces the duality of chaos and order. Many poems have a strict formatting while also exploring the chaos of humankind within its text. Poets whether through literature or image are obsessed with paradoxes and irony. There is a constant idea of the overlap between two things usually seen as opposites. Black and white are colors used frequently as a metaphor even when the concepts presented in the piece explore the many different shades of grey. Modern art often depicts Orpheus as a meaningful hero. He is seen as a representation of the human experience and what it means to be an individual. He is to thank for the many different forms of art and poetry that our lives come into contact with. We have access to so many different ways of expressing ourselves and sending a message to other people. We can connect and embrace other people and individual personalities through poetry while exploring areas of our subconscious we are not always familiar with. Raoul Dufy shows Orpheus surrounded by the sea and nature. In the image, there is a balance between the sky and the ocean. The presence of nature is a representation of how natural poetry is and poet’s deep connection with nature and life. Orpheus is at the center of the world and able to communicate across many platforms and elements. He can dialog with life and the spirit of nature. This lines up with the legend that his power of words and lyricism, he was able to communicate with the entire world, from the biggest creatures, to the smallest, down to small specks of life hardly seen or noticed by humankind. It is said that he could even make stones cry. This legend applies the idea of super natural power to poets.

As creators, artists across all genres adapt a special style so they can be seen as an individual and separate themselves from the works of other famous creators. They often have another artist that helped them discover their art, style, and passion. Visual poets are true visionaries, their gaze being projected with and onto others and sending out sparks of inspiration to other aspiring artists that wish to show the world their point of view. Orpheus’ vision and gaze was so powerful, that he could be seen as an extremely unsettling force. He could dialog with the Gods. I can understand why Plato would want to kick out poets if they could speak to the Gods. Poetry and visual poems explore spirituality and occasionally the spirit world itself. It is often referenced or its image depicted within poetry or films. Poets have a particular charm to them, making them dangerous because this charm gives them the power to speak with many different forms of life and even gives them a sort of power over others. Other people can be put into a trance with the chant of a poet. They can become mesmerized and led away from the dangerous safety of societal norms.

Art is a journey. Film, music, and poetry all take us on an adventure when they attempt to capture the Orphic voice. Their rhythm and voice often embracing a sense of ritual. Similar to how many parts of Bjork’s video do. The act of piercing is a ritual of adulthood and life events in many cultures. Even within modern western culture there is an accepted way to perform the act of piercing one’s body. In Pagan Poetry, she undergoes a journey of self-discovery through love and pain, just as is the poets goal to go on an extreme journey. However, extreme can mean even the smallest things. Because poets look at the world through the grey and in between areas, they do not always see the black and white as the most extreme. So many people accept that life if black and white that it is more extreme to walk somewhere in the middle. Though poets and filmmakers often explore the unknown and unreal, they also have to acknowledge reality. You cannot explore the unknown without first knowing what is known and accepted amongst the masses. Music videos bring poetry, music, and filmmaking together as a holy and transgressive experience. Artists like Bjork explore parts of reality and the subconscious seen as taboo through these art forms. She, as well as the filmmaker, want the viewer to also explore everything from the visuals, to the music, to the lyricism and words. Pagan Poetry explores the Orphic voice with its playful journey through sexuality, risk, love, and pain as one.

[mst3kproject]

The Capture of Bigfoot

Yep, another Bigfoot movie, this one written and directed by Bill 'Giant Spider Invasion' Rebane.  As far as I can tell, nobody in it was ever on MST3K, but for some reason it does have a whole bunch of people who were in Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, along with George 'Buck' Flower, whom you may remember (if you remember him at all) as the park bench bum in the Back to the Future movies.  Above and beyond that, it's just intensely riffable. There's barely a shot that doesn't invite comment, and should you watch it, you'll be hearing the bots' voices the whole time.  What do you think: would it be Crow or Tom who would draw our attention to the gas pumps that look like a snow Ku Klux Klan in the background of one scene?

A couple of trappers have captured a baby Bigfoot, which naturally pisses off its mother – it kills one of the trappers and injures the other, fortunately without hurting any of the adorable samoyeds pulling their sled.  The dogs take the injured trapper home, where he dies without revealing what happened to him, but Harvey Olson thinks he knows.  He's been hunting Bigfoot for twenty years, and now that he's sure the creature is in the area, he hires every hunter in town to try to catch the beast.  Bigfoot, however, is also the protector of the local native people, who call it Arak (the SOL crew would have made so many jokes about 'the Legend of a Rock'), and they enlist Forest Ranger Garrett to foil Olson's plans.

Samoyeds are my favourite dog.  They look like somebody blow-dried a polar bear.

This movie's Bigfoot also looks like somebody blow-dried a polar bear, but it is marginally better than the one in Shriek of the Mutilated. Seeing as Shriek of the Mutilated's Bigfoot was literally a guy in a furry costume in the movie, that is not a compliment.  Capture's creature is even worse than Cry Wilderness', never believable as anything but a guy in a Hallowe'en costume.  Of some note is that the costume department gave Bigfoot white fur, when almost everybody who actually claims to have seen the creature has supposedly said it was black or brown, but perhaps we're meant to think they turn white in the winter like rabbits do. The beast's call is just somebody yelling “BLEAAAAAAAAAGH!”

While The Capture of Bigfoot does ostensibly have a plot, it's mostly just a monster movie – people wander around the woods, and Bigfoot kills them.  It kills the two trappers that captured the baby.  A third trapper sits down in his tent after collecting the day's game, and Bigfoot bashes his head in.  Two tourists leave the hotel to either have sex or go skiing, and Bigfoot mauls the guy while the girl screams.  The only slightly interesting thing that's done with the formula is that when it becomes clear that the creature has a grudge against the pair of hunters who shot at its offspring, Olson decides to use them as bait to trap it... but even that's pretty lame.

The characters are a collection of clichés.  There's a precocious kid who makes friends with the creature (perhaps this is a prequel to Cry Wilderness?). There's ranger Dave Garrett, who's well-meaning but kind of a putz and nobody listens to him.  There's Jake the Trapper, an old drunk everybody laughs at but really the only guy who knows the truth.  The Sheriff is a dim bulb whose 'quirk' is that he does a Humphrey Bogart impression.  Daniels is a Wise Old Indian.  Olson is a rich ugly guy who makes weird faces when he talks, which makes him a very early entry in the Donald Trump School of Movie Villainy.

For all the talk about how the creature is the protector of the local tribe's dead and must not be captured or killed for this reason, there is only one ostensible Native in the movie, Daniels.  His function in the plot is to give Garrett some information and a talisman that will prevent Bigfoot from harming him.  That's really all the entire concept of 'Native Americans' represents in this movie: a source of legend and magic, not allowed to actually do anything because action is for white guys (as I mentioned, even Bigfoot is white in this movie).  It's also really weird how the script can't decide if Daniels speaks English.  He and Garrett appear to have a conversation alone at one point, though we don't hear any of it, but when he turns up later in the film he speaks his own language and Jake the trapper has to translate.  In this same scene, Jake remarks that it would be 'more like an Indian' for Daniels to have shot them both rather than to sneak up and rescue them, which seems very distasteful coming from somebody who is supposedly Daniels' only friend.

Although Garrett is technically our protagonist, he's really a very reactive character – things happen, and he responds to them.  This was probably unavoidable, since it is his job to respond to animal issues in the area, but it makes him seem passive and uninteresting.  The proactive character is the villain, Mr. Olson.  His quest to find proof of Bigfoot, dead or alive, is what moves the story along.  He states over and over that he's been hunting the beast for years, and yet we never find out why. His stated reason is that it will make him rich, but this seems like only a justification for his obsession.  If he'd seen it and was disbelieved, or if it killed somebody he knew, that would make sense, but we don't get any backstory for him.  Outside of this, however, he is probably the person we get to know best, and he’s the one who has an arc.  He starts off as the type of villain who thinks he's not being villainous if he has other people do things for him.

Olson does not go out to look for Bigfoot himself – he hires others to do that for him, even as they laugh at him in the belief that they're ripping him off by accepting his money to hunt something that doesn't exist.  Although it seems at first that he plans to shoot Jake and Garrett for following him, he does not have the stomach to commit or order a murder, and has them tied to a tree to freeze to death instead.  The only thing he does himself is spring the trap he's had set for the creature, as his monomania would not allow somebody else to do that.  It must be he, and he alone, who 'captures' it, no matter how much help he had in setting up the trap.

But once he has the creature in a cage, Olson goes, as one of the hunters observes, completely over the edge.  His success seems to have made him feel invincible, and while earlier he was cautious about both the law and the wilderness, he now does things like run Jake down with his car.  He would not murder this man a few hours earlier, but now he no longer cares.  Shortly thereafter he attempts to form  an armed posse to murder Garrett, too, and runs off to do it himself when this plan fails.  Now that he's in this position of power, Olson cannot tolerate anybody who might knock him down from it.

There is one weird scene that doesn't seem to have a place in this arc, when early in the movie Olson literally throws a man who has displeased him out a window.  I think this is supposed to establish him as physically formidable, but considering his age and the shape he's in, it's merely ludicrous.  Besides, what idiot throws a man through a window in the middle of what a radio broadcast claims is one of the coldest winters on record?  I guess the answer is 'a rich idiot', but the whole thing is still really, really dumb.

Also a little odd is Olson's death.  In a movie like this you would probably expect him to be killed by the creature, as nature and legend take revenge on an arrogant human who failed to respect them. Or maybe he'd be arrested and thrown in jail for all the crimes his arrogance led him to commit, both by proxy and, at this point, in person.  Instead, however, Olson accidentally shoots a barrel of gasoline that, as far as I can tell, was only in the room so that this could happen, and dies in the resulting explosion.  This is the sort of thing that makes me think Bill Rebane has no idea how stuff like character arcs work... he just throws together whatever he thinks is cool and films it.

I spent most of my review of Cry Wilderness pondering the mythical versus real status of Bigfoot, and what it was supposed to represent in that movie.  The Capture of Bigfoot does kind of the same thing.  Its Bigfoot is at once a real animal that eats and reproduces, and a spirit being that leads souls to the afterlife.  Daniels, the last of his people, is unable to die until Bigfoot is free to take him away.  The creature must not be captured because that would bring it out of this ambiguous space into the real world, where it does not belong.  I wish the movie had expanded on these ideas a little... what happens, for example, once Daniels is dead?  The mythical aspect of Bigfoot then has no more purpose.  Does the creature, too, simply disappear?  Does it become nothing but an animal?  At the end Bigfoot and its offspring just wander off into the woods and the credits roll.

All things considered, with its stereotyped characters, its dumb plot, and its racism, Capture of Bigfoot is pretty dull.  Most of the movie is just people crunching around in the snow.  There's a ski race that has no bearing on the plot, and a similarly pointless party scene that serves to show us a woman in a skin-baring outfit shakin' her stuff to an appallingly awful disco song called Sensuous Tiger.  Nothing here is half as much fun as the spidermobile or the over-the-top rednecks of The Giant Spider Invasion, and like that movie, Capture of Bigfoot ends pretty much immediately after the threat is defeated.  No denoument, no closure of subplots.

It's cheap.  It sucks.  It'd be good for an MST3K episode, but not for much else.

[one-of-us-blog]

The End of Time, Part I (Doctor Who Christmas Special)

Today Jon is forced to watch and recap The End of Time, Part I, the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special and the penultimate special in this little mid-season bacchanal. The universe is being plagued by bad dreams, and the dreams all seem to center on an enemy long thought to be dead. Can the Doctor save the whole of time itself before it’s too late?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, your “Brotherly Love” recap was just fantastic! Your recaps are getting better and better every time, I swear! I might be biased, though, because this definitely is my favorite episode and I was so thrilled that you enjoyed it! I’ve always felt that all four Girls were on point in this episode; Dorothy is at her wittiest, Blanche is at her flirtiest, Sophia is at her most dangerous and Rose is at her goofiest. All four main actresses stick all of their landings, and Ted held his own pretty well throughout the whole episode. Also, I’m a sucker for a good Hamlet reference. I can’t wait for your next recap, Chief!

Buttocks tight!

Episode directed by Euros Lyn and written by Russell T Davies

We start out with a stirring narration by Timothy Dalton. He explains that in the final days of Earth, specifically around Christmas, the entire human race was having some seriously spooky dreams. Everyone forgets about the dreams they’ve been having in order to keep on living. Everyone, that is, except for one Wilfred Mott! Whatup, Wilf? Wilfred has a flashback of his dream, featuring the face of a distinctly familiar looking guy. Wait a second, was that the Master?

Wilfred decides to repent his wicked ways and heads into a nearby church, where a children’s choir is singing for no one in particular. Wilfred takes in the church’s stained glass window, which features a tiny little TARDIS. A woman suddenly appears behind Wilfred, and explains that the window is depicting the Legend of the Blue Box. The lady explains that in the 1300’s a demon fell from the sky only to be vanquished by the Sainted Physician, a man who appeared in a blue box. The lady speculates that the Sainted Physician might be coming back. Wilfred would like nothing more, but when he turns to face the lady again she’s gone. Wilfred’s ears are filled with the sounds of the Master’s laughter as we head to the opening credits.

The TARDIS lands on the Ood Sphere, where the Doctor’s met by his (and our) old pal Ood Sigma. The Doc’s got a bit of a chip on his shoulder; he’s taken his time getting here, going from planet to planet and even getting married briefly, all to avoid this meeting. Sigma tells him he should not have delayed, but the Doctor points out that the last time he was on the Ood Sphere Ood Sigma said his song would be ending soon, and he’s in no hurry for that. He shows off a new feature and locks the TARDIS remotely (get it? like a car?) before finally following Sigma around. Sigma shows off the thriving society the Ood have built since they were liberated from humanity a century ago. Suddenly the Doc’s a little worried; the Ood are developing way too quickly and there’s no way Ood Sigma should have been able to contact the Doctor all the way back in the 21st century after only a hundred years of development. Sigma says something’s amiss; every night, the Ood have bad dreams. Someone should tell the Ood to cut back on the chocolate before bedtime!

The Doctor is taken to the Elder of the Ood, and is directed to join in a circle of Ood to share the dreams they’ve been having. The Doc gets a vision of the Master, and the Elder Ood says pretty much everyone in the universe is dreaming of him. Next the Ood show a shot of Wilfred, then a man and young woman the Doctor’s never met. Finally he’s shown Lucy Saxon, who’s in prison for killing the Master and avenging the millions of people he had slaughtered in the Year that Never Was. The Doctor’s super sure the Master is dead, until the Ood show him that bit from the end of “Last of the Time Lord” where the Master’s ring falls to the ground. I meant to make a fun Ming the Merciless joke about it at the time, but trying to work it in now just feels weird. Just pretend I stuck the landing on that one, okay? Anyway, the Ood show the Doc that the ring was picked up by an unknown woman. The Doc’s ready to bate that Master, but the Elder Ood says the Master is only part of the problem. Something big and ancient is moving, and the Ood are able to see through time like this because time itself is weakening. The end of time is coming. *mic drop*

The Doc’s off to the races and runs back to the TARDIS. Meanwhile, Lucy Saxon is visited in her prison cell by the woman who picked up the Master’s ring. She’s taken down to the basement of the prison and… well, I mean, this is where things get a little weird. Apparently at some point during the months between the Master showing up on Earth and him becoming Prime Minister, a sort of cult grew up around Harold Saxon. Like, with secret sacred texts and everything. It’s a bit of a Knights Templar 2: Wacky Wizards situation, only a lot less scrutable. If none of this rings a bell, BTW, it’s because it’s coming out of literally nowhere. Anyway, we find out that Lucy was given a secret trial with no jury after she shot Saxon and locked up in the pokey (side note, what the hell? she should have been given a medal, not a prison term!). She never told anyone who Saxon really was. The new governor of the prison is some kind of Grand Wizard for this Harold Saxon fan club, and she’s going to use the Master’s ring to bring him back to life. She and her gal pals mix together some magical potions (made from recipes taken from the Secret Books of Saxon, I shit you not), the Master’s ring and a bit of Lucy’s DNA.

Lucy begs the women to stop, but they’re pretty onboard with sacrificing themselves to bring back the Master. The Master begins to materialize, but it turns out that Lucy also checked the Secret Books of Saxon out from the prison library and some friends outside of prison cooked up an anti-life potion. One of the guards involved in this is actually on Lucy’s side, and she gives Lucy the potion. She had it on her… just in case, I guess? Or she knew this was going to happen and didn’t, like, just try to take the ring before any of this could go down? I don’t know. Lucy has a little monologue, then she throws the potion at the Master and the entire prison explodes. Right on cue the Doc arrives. The guy and young woman (who are father and daughter) that we don’t know yet are reviewing footage of the prison burning down and catch sight of the Master running from the wreckage. The two meet up with some scientists and tell them to prepare a big ol’ alien-looking gate thing.

Wilfred tells an unseen Donna and Sylvia that he’s going out for a drink, then rallies all his friends from the senior citizen center and organizes them into a search party to scour London and locate the Doctor. Some vagrants get some grub from a food truck and have a topical discussion about President Obama. Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone? Anyway, the Master shows up with a bleach blonde hairdo and tells the food truck lady that he’s real hungry. He then hops over to eat a burger really quickly (and super grossly) and harass the vagrants for a bit. His skin is sort of transparent sometimes? I don’t know. Eventually he chases the vagrants over to the burnt-out ruins of the food truck and then maybe eats them? He’s got a bit of a Tarrare thing going on now, so he probably eats them. The Doctor sniffs him out and the two have a brief staring contest before the Doc starts chasing the Master only to lose him when he’s distracted by the sudden appearance of Wilfred. Did I mention the Master can jump really high now for some reason? I don’t think I did, but he can. It’s just a thing, go with it.

Wilfred and the Doctor go out for tea after ditching the Silver Cloak Gang. The Doctor wants to know who or what Wilfred is and how he’s able to keep finding the Doc. Wilfred thinks he’s just your average Joe who gets lucky a lot, but the Doc isn’t so sure. He tells Wilfred that he’s going to die (because of the prophecy thing from “Planet of the Dead”, remember?) and both he and Wilfred are super bummed. The Doc says even if he regenerates it won’t be him anymore, and this version of himself will die. This is interrupted by the unexpected and delightful reappearance of Donna Noble outside; Wilfred begs the Doc to restore her memory, but we’re sticking with the whole “her brain thing will burn up” storyline. Donna’s engaged to a nice guy Shaun Temple and Wilfred thinks she’s happy enough, but sometimes she looks like she’s sad but can’t remember why. Great! Wonderful! Just what Donna deserves, right? Really glad that we’re sticking with this arbitrary plot device!

Anyway, the Doc lets Wilfred know he’s traveling alone now, and that turned out to be a very bad thing. He takes things too far on his own, and he needs someone with him to keep him in check. The two bros have a nice almost-cry and then the Doctor leaves. Timothy Dalton reminds us in another voiceover that the Earth’s going to die tomorrow, then the Doctor catches up with the Master. Did I mention the Master can shoot lightning bolts and shit out of his hands now? It’s just a thing, go with it. He Livewires the Doc and then has his own little monologue about how he used to be a really big deal but now he’s just a homeless lunatic. The Doc’s ready to ask the Master for help to stop this end of time/coming darkness thing, because he’s suddenly a dumbass. The Master starts going on and on about the drums again, but this time he does a mindmeld with the Doc and the Doc actually hears the sound. The Master’s pretty happy that the drums aren’t just him being crazy and, I’ve got to say, I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. A helicopter shows up and the Master is kidnapped while the Doc is knocked out by some paratroopers.

Christmas time! Donna gives Wilfred Fighting the Future by Joshua Naismith, but she’s not really sure why. Naismith’s the guy we haven’t met yet, by the by. While Donna’s trying to figure out why she got Wilfred the books she appears to be dangerously close to remembering how relevant she used to be, but luckily Sylvia’s able to distract her with a naughty holiday card. Speaking of Naismith, he and his daughter have the Master held captive. They know a vague amount about Harold Saxon and the daughter’s pretty excited to have him as their houseguest. Wilfred sits down to watch the Queen’s speech, but that lady from the church is on the TV. Wilfred is the only one who can see her, because he stands at the center of coincidence. She tells Wilfred that the time will come when he’ll have to take up arms, but she tells him not to tell the Doctor about her. Wilfred goes to his room and digs up his old pistol from the war. Oh, shit, is Wilf about to risk it all? No time for that, because the Doc’s outside and he needs to talk to Wilfred.

The Doc can’t figure out how Wilfred fits into all this, but he knows he’s involved. Wilfred doesn’t tell him about the woman on the TV, but he does show the Doc the book Donna gave him. The Doctor figures out the Ood might have been able to seep Naismith into Donna’s subconscious, allowing her to help the Doctor without remembering her kickass past. Wilfred and the Doc set off in the TARDIS to find Naismith. The Master is brought to the alien-lookin’ gate thing, while two of the technicians excuse themselves. Downstairs they reveal themselves to be aliens who are trying to get the gate thing working. They’re cool with the Master working on the gate, because they just want to get it working so they can hijack it. Upstairs Naismith explains that he got the gate after Torchwood 1.0 folded. The Master’s given a turkey and we get to see more delightful sped-up footage of him eating, complete with all the sound effects you could hope for. The gate is powered by a nuclear chamber thing, but it turns out it can restore a person’s body and heal them. Naismith wants to use it to make his daughter immortal. Her name’s Abigail, by the way.

Wilfred and the Doc arrive at Naismith HQ, and the Doctor shows off that he’s now able to hide the TARDIS a second out of sync with reality. The Doctor finds the aliens in human clothing in the basement and quickly de-glamours them. The Master begins fixing the machine and gets it working in record time. The aliens downstairs explain that they’re a salvage team who were sent to collect the gate thingy, which is essentially a giant sickbay. It’s specifically giant because it mends entire planets at once. The Doc figures out the Master’s up to something and runs upstairs, while Naismith watches the speech by Obama that’s been mentioned about 57 times so far. The Doc arrives upstairs but the Master easily breaks free of his bonds and jumps into the gate. His template begins spreading across the entire world, first by appearing in everyone’s minds. The Doctor’s able to get Wilfred into the radiation booth in time to shield him from the effects. The aliens downstairs realize the Master’s set the gate’s template to only effect humans, but then Donna calls Wilfred to let him know she’s not being effected. The mental picture is just the beginning of all this, though, as in a matter of moments the entire human population is physically transformed into copies of the Master.

Donna’s beginning to get flashbacks to her Doctorly adventures, and her head’s already killing her. Time for another Timothy Dalton check-in! He says this is the day the human race ceased to be, but it’s also the day the Time Lords shall return. He’s a Time Lord, and he’s surrounded by a massive chamber full of his fellow Lords and Ladies

The End…?

~~~~~

I’m going to zag here a bit, if no one objects. Unlike previous two-parter episodes, like “The Empty Child” / “The Doctor Dances” or “Human Nature” / “The Family of Blood”, The End of Time is specifically broken into a Part I and a Part II. Because of that, I’m viewing it as one episode that’s just going to take me two posts to finish recapping, and so I’m going to wait until the end of Part II to give my rating of and thoughts on The End of Time as a whole. That was probably an overly complicated explanation, but, hey, it’s twentyserpentine!

We’ll see you again on Tuesday when Eli will cover the next episode of The Golden Girls, “A Visit from Little Sven”, and then on Wednesday I’ll recap the last half of this Doctor Who special, The End of Time, Part II.

Until then, thanks for reading, thanks for resurrecting and thanks for being One of Us!