#THE STORY PACING IN SOME PARTS WERE SO BAD I'M SORRY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ro-is-struggling · 1 month ago

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The Princess and The Wolf || PART 3 || Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Summary: Geralt returns to see his princess once again. Only this time he is not alone and after a year without communication he does not know if he will still be welcome.

Warnings: slow burn, grumpy x sunshine (or more like grumpy x disney princess lol), miscommunication, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, me trying to write domestic stuff, mentions of past trauma (for both Ciri and the protagonist/reader), Geralt Ciri and reader being a family, canon typical violence, my attempt at creating an original monster, some very long dialogues (sorry! I hallucinated half of the story and I couldn’t leave any part out apparently), FEM READER (the protagonist is referred to as woman/she-her/princess/sunshine)

Let me know if I missed anything! (I definitely did, I've been writing this part for so long there's probably a lot of stuff I forgot lol so just lmk)

English is not my first language

Word count: 21.800 (I'm not even sorry)

Notes: I’m sorry it took me so long to post this! I promise you I’ve been working on it since the moment I posted the last part but everytime I wrote a scene a new idea came to mind and I just had to add it so here we are. That moment with Ciri wasn’t in my original idea but I just had to include it cause that poor girl needs a hug! Besides, it was a nice way to explore a little bit more about the protagonist background

I have a few ideas for the next part but please send me yours! (SEE THE END OF THE POST FOR MORE)

PART 1 || PART 2

The cat was the first to sense his presence. Even before he knocked on the door or the sound of the horse's footsteps echoed through the hut, the cat was already meowing and pacing back and forth, going from the door to the window and back to the door. He always did that when he felt Geralt was near. He was possibly the only cat on the continent that didn't hiss and hide in the presence of a witcher, quite the opposite in fact. The feline knew he was good and trustworthy because she trusted him, so he ignored all his instincts and gave Geralt a chance. They became friends almost immediately —even though the witcher used to pretend otherwise. The cat loved Geralt as much as his owner, and had missed him almost more than she had.

More than a year had passed. A year without news of him, without a visit or a letter to let her know he was well. A year of uncertainty in which the mind of the poor princess had done nothing but think about what might have happened to him. On good days, she accepted with a broken heart that he was not going to visit her again after the disaster that turned out to be their travel together. It pained her to think that she had missed her chance with him. She felt alone and lost, but that was better than thinking that his absence was because something really bad had happened to him. Dark were the days when she woke up wrapped in sweat, with images of Geralt bloodied fixed in her mind. She had lost count of how many nightmares she had had about it, how many different monsters had been responsible for ending his life and taking away the man who made her happy and gave her purpose. So when that was the alternative, convincing herself that he had simply stopped loving her was more bearable to her poor tormented mind.

“It's not him, darling. He's not coming back here” she spoke to her cat, bending down to stroke his head. The feline meowed, as if to answer her, and jumped up onto the window sill. She let out a tired sigh and pulled back the curtains to open the latch to let the animal out.

It was then that she heard the murmurs and footsteps of a horse in the distance. The cat meowed once more and jumped out of the window, running into the darkness of the night. She followed him with her eyes, looking for him in the shadows to try to find out what it was that had him so agitated. In the distance, moving through the bushes and trees, she recognized the unique white hair of the man who had occupied almost all of her thoughts for the past year. She ran to the door, flinging it open and taking a few steps outside to ensure that her eyes were not deceiving her.

Geralt was there, not looking a day older than the last time she had seen him. She noticed that he didn't look hurt or in bad shape, so she couldn't help but wonder what was the reason for him showing up at her house after such a long time of complete silence. Though her questions were pushed aside when his eyes made contact with hers. All the pain, fear and uncertainty she had accumulated for almost two years dissolved the moment she felt his warm gaze rest on her figure. Her heart began to beat faster than it had in a long time, her stomach, full of butterflies, was twisting and turning because of her nerves.

She realized then that she had no idea how to react to his presence. What was she supposed to say to him? Was she supposed to pretend that she hadn't had the worst year of her life? Was it worth scolding him for his absence when he had finally decided to come back? Happiness and anger began to fight inside her with every step the witcher took towards her. Memories of them being happy were followed by images of the nights she had cried herself to sleep because of him, creating a conflicting narrative that did nothing but confuse her.

“Geralt...” She called his name when he was close enough to hear her. “What are you doing here?” The question sounded more accusatory than she expected, but she didn't have time to take it back —or double down on her complaints— because he stepped aside, revealing the figure of a young girl. It took the woman a moment to focus her gaze on the child since she was almost entirely hidden behind Geralt's broad shoulders. She had long blonde hair and pale skin, though her nose and cheeks were reddened by the cold wind of the approaching winter. In her hands she carried her cat, who purred happily at the gentle caresses she gave him.

The confusion about her own feelings was soon replaced by confusion about the girl and her relationship with Geralt. Her eyes traveled back and forth a couple of times, trying to piece together the reasons behind her presence and the explanation as to why Geralt was traveling with the girl. She couldn't have been more than thirteen years old, so it was hard to imagine that he had decided to travel with her of his own accord. Not after the things he had said to her on their journey together. She thought then that perhaps it was someone he had saved along the way, a young princess he had to rescue from the clutches of a monster or a poor girl who had gotten lost.

Whoever it was, Geralt didn't feel the need to tell her. “We need a safe place to stay.” Was the only explanation he provided her. She didn't insist either, ultimately she didn't need a reason to let him into her home. She stepped aside without a second thought, making room for them to enter and making sure to lock the door behind her back.

“You know, for someone that claims to not have friends you sure do have a lot.” She laughed and Geralt gave her a rather unamused look. “Who's this beautiful young lady?”

The girl looked up at Geralt, wide eyes looking up at him for his approval. The witcher nodded his head, a movement so subtle it was almost imperceptible. She only picked up on it because she knew Geralt so well and was already used to that kind of reaction, which told her that the girl knew him very well too. It was as if they communicated without speaking, just a quick glance was enough and they knew exactly what the other was thinking. It was impressive and she hadn't seen anything like it before, especially not with Geralt. It only increased her curiosity even more.

“I'm Cirilla.” The girl introduced herself with a shy smile, lowering the cat from her arms.

It took her a few seconds to understand why that name seemed familiar. When reality hit her, wide eyes flew to Geralt with an expression of confusion and surprise mixed together. He had once told her about the feast Jaskier had dragged him to and the way the event had ended. The last time they had talked about his child of surprise he seemed to want nothing to do with that matter. When she had presented her concerns to him he had told her that he had assured the child's family that he would not claim her. And honestly she had thought it was for the best. With the way Geralt approached life she couldn't imagine him raising a child. That's why she didn't understand why he was now showing up at her house with her. What had made him change his mind?

She managed to compose herself quickly from her surprise, her eyes returning to Cirilla almost immediately so as not to make her feel uncomfortable. “That's a beautiful name, Cirilla!” She complimented her with a smile. “I'm sure you must be cold! I can run you a hot bath and then we can eat something. What do you say?”

“That sounds wonderful, thank you!” Cirilla's eyes lit up at the mention of the bath, desperate to feel the hot water against her cold skin. Since she had met Geralt her situation had improved considerably, but the cold outdoors was still something she was having trouble getting used to.

After leaving Cirilla alone in the bathroom with everything she needed to clean herself and restore her tired muscles, the young woman returned to the table where Geralt was sitting, ready to answer the thousands of questions he knew were swirling around in her head. Some of them —especially the ones about Ciri— were easy to answer, but others... he did not even want to think about it.

“I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with her.” she said, dropping into the chair across from him. “What made you change your mind?”

Geralt hesitated before answering. He wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to tell her that the last few months he had spent running away from her had been the most miserable of his life. That every day he spent away from her was agony. That he woke up hearing her laughter in the wind, missing the warmth of her body, longing to smell the perfume of her hair. He believed it was best for both of them if he stayed away. They could never be together and persisting in that fantasy would only hurt them. He thought he could do it, that he could forget her if he spent enough time away from her charms. He knew it wouldn't be easy and that it would hurt, but he was convinced that it would be the best for both of them in the long run.

However, months passed and the emptiness in his chest only grew heavier with each passing day. Geralt couldn't close his eyes without seeing her smile. He couldn't sleep without dreaming of having her by his side. He couldn't see a deer in the forest or a rabbit hopping around without thinking of her, of how happy he would be in her company, of the way she would take the animal in her hands and make him stop to play with it. His days were gray and dull, cold even under the hottest summer. Without her —without the promise of feeling her hands on his body or the hope of hearing her sweet voice call his name one more time— life lost some of its luster.

He realized then that he could never forget her. She was the woman he loved, the only one who occupied his mind and heart, the only one who could make him seriously question his future as a witcher. She was his destiny, their paths had crossed for a reason that day in the forest. They were bound together by ties stronger than their own will, so there was no point in fighting against it. It was not worth running away from destiny if the only thing he gained was to deepen the emptiness that pressed on his chest. And she was his destiny, as well as Ciri was. He realized that if he wanted to stop feeling so miserable he had to stop fighting against what he could not change and face what destiny wanted from him.

But instead of admitting his feelings and being vulnerable in front of her, Geralt chose the easy answer: “Her kingdom was invaded. All her family was killed. I just couldn't leave her alone after that. She's in danger, she needs my protection.”

“So why bring her here?” She snapped back at him, sounding harsher than intended.

She wasn't upset with his presence, in fact she was glad to know that he still saw her home as a refuge where he was willing to bring Cirilla to make sure she was protected. All she wanted to know was why it had taken him so long to show up. Was he angry with her? Was their relationship broken beyond repair? Had he been preoccupied with his travels? Had he been avoiding her? Did he still love her? Those questions had been eating her up inside all these months. She thought she would never see Geralt again, so she had tried hard not to think about it. But he was there with her now and she needed those answers in order to ease her mind.

“I'm bringing her to Kaer Morhen with me, she'll be safe there. But she was getting tired and cold and since we were close I thought... We will leave in the morning if our stay causes any trouble for you.” Geralt assured her, trying not to cause a disturbance.

He should have figured that he couldn't just reappear in her life and wait for her to welcome him back with open arms. She had every right to throw him out if she wanted to, he had behaved like a complete bastard. But when he decided to seek refuge in her hut, Geralt wasn't thinking of him or her, but of Ciri. But now he understood that maybe he was asking too much of her. He was so used to using her home as a shelter that he didn't consider that the doors might be closed to him one day.

“I don't want you to leave. I want you to tell me why it took you so long to come back. I want you to tell me that there is a good reason for leaving me in the dark all this time, wondering what could have happened to you and if I was ever going to see your face again.”

“Sunshine, I...” Geralt tried to respond, but stopped in mid-sentence. He couldn't find the words to express how he felt, to explain to her how stupid he had been and how sorry he was for his mistake in a way that wouldn't make things worse. He didn't want to hurt her, even though he knew it was a little late for that.

She felt her heart squeeze at the mention of that nickname. She hadn't realized how much she had missed hearing his voice calling her by that name until that moment. It reminded her of the simpler, happier times they had shared, of long nights spent sleepless as they talked about life. It reminded her of how much she loved being called that by him and how her heart had skipped a beat the first time he had used it. She never knew what had prompted him to call her that in the first place —and she'd always been too embarrassed to ask—, but she was glad he had. It made her feel special, loved.

“Forget it.” she said as she noticed the internal conflict reflecting in Geralt's eyes. She didn't know what was making him so hesitant, but she began to think that maybe she didn't want to hear the answer to his question. Maybe it was better to live in ignorance after all. Maybe living on happy memories and moments that would never get back was better than living in harsh reality. All this time she had thought the uncertainty had been the worst, but seeing the doubt in the witcher's yellow eyes made her think that maybe the truth could be worse. She didn't know if she was ready to know that he didn't love her.

“Tell me about Cirilla. You said she is in danger, why?” She sought to change the subject, desperate to find a topic of conversation that would quell those thoughts.

“There's people after her, a black knight that has been following her since the fall of Cintra. She dreams about him every night.” Geralt explained, remembering the way the little girl tossed and turned in her sleep because of the nightmares.

“I can give her something to help with the nightmares so at least she can have one good night of sleep.”

“That's not all... she has magic.”

“Like her mother?” the woman asked curiously. She still remembered the details Geralt had told her about the feast that night where his and Cirilla's destiny had been linked. The magic that the young girl's mother had demonstrated was something she had never even heard of before in her life.

“I don't know what the extent of her power is, she doesn't talk much about it.”

“And you want me to do all the work for you, huh?” She guessed before Geralt could even hint at it. It was a long shot, but if anyone was going to be able to break through the barrier Ciri had created around her to protect herself, it was her. People always tended to open up to her, her sweet and charming nature sparked trust in even the most reclusive and distrustful person.

“You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I just... she's scared, I understand that, but I can't protect her if she doesn't tell me the truth. I thought that perhaps you could get through to her better than I can. You have magic too, maybe she'll be more inclined to talk about it with someone that understands what she's going through.”

“I'll see what I can do.” She promised him, unable to refuse to help a frightened little girl who had lost everything.

The young woman couldn't help but notice the protective way in which Geralt spoke of Ciri. She wasn't sure how long they had known each other, but from the way he cared for her she would say quite a bit. The witcher's trust wasn't easy to gain —it had taken her a while even after saving his life—, but the girl seemed to have done it in record time. It was heartwarming to see the way they acted around each other. She always looked at him before answering some of the questions the young woman asked him during dinner, as if she needed Geralt's confirmation to reveal certain information about her. It was clear that they trusted each other, in a way reminiscent of a father and daughter. Which made Ciri's reluctance to open up to him even stranger.

It was strange to see Geralt in such a position. He always acted so tough, like a lone wolf who didn't need anyone's company. Seeing the way he cared for Ciri —how he urged her to take the sleeping potion she offered her, warning her how important it was for her to get a good night's sleep— was almost jarring. Even in her wildest fantasies she hadn't imagined Geralt being a father. Now that she saw it, though, she liked it. It suited him. She only wished he had given himself the chance to explore that side of him much sooner. She couldn't deny that it pained her to know that she had always been right, the two of them could have worked out if only he had let it happen.

After they had dined and chatted for a long time, she, like the good hostess she was, escorted Ciri to the extra room she had unoccupied, telling her that it would be her space for as long as she wished to stay there. “Any friend of Geralt is a friend of mine. You're welcome to stay for as long as you want.” She smiled sweetly, trying hard to show the girl that she could trust her. Ciri thanked her before she closed the door behind her, making sure she knew she appreciated her hospitality.

When she left the girl's room, she didn't find Geralt anywhere. She didn't worry too much about it, assuming he would be out with Roach or securing the perimeter of the property to make sure Ciri could get a peaceful night of uninterrupted sleep. She let him do his thing, opting to tidy up the house and get ready for bed. She waited for him in bed, one last candle burning as she read a book. She assumed he would come to sleep with her as they had always done. Now that Ciri was occupying the only free room, the other alternative was to sleep on the floor. But time passed, the night grew dark and cold, and Geralt did not come. So she put on a cloak and went outside to look for him.

It didn't take her long to find him, she just circled the property and stumbled upon him in the makeshift stable she had at the side of her garden. He was sitting on a pile of hay, chatting with Roach while stroking the animal's fur. He had his back against the wooden wall and seemed to be settled there, as if he had no intention of moving. When she approached, he fell silent, so she couldn't hear what he was saying to the horse, although she had a good idea.

“What are you doing out here? It's freezing!” She said, crossing her arms under her cloak to keep her body warm. While it hadn't yet snowed for the first time, there was an icy dew in the air that looked a lot like it. And while she understood that Geralt had a higher tolerance for extreme weather thanks to his mutations, that didn't mean she liked the idea of him being cold in the stable when there was a warm bed waiting for him inside.

“It's not that cold.” he replied and she looked at him with a raised eyebrow, not believing for a moment that he truly didn't feel the cold. She had been outside for a couple of minutes and could already feel the cold starting to dig into her bones. “I was taking care of Roach.”

“She seems fine. Come inside before you freeze to death.”

“You know that won't happen.”

“Geralt, please.”

It was a gentle plea, with a hint of desperation. All she wanted was to have Geralt by her side during the night again. She wanted to lie down and find that she felt the same comfort she always had, that his presence made her feel as safe and comforted as she remembered. She wanted to feel his strong arms wrap around her at night and know that the doubts were only in her head and completely unfounded. She wanted to know that he still loved her and that it had all been a big misunderstanding. She was desperate to find a way to move on, to let go of all the pain that had haunted her. But she was terrified to talk about it, so all she had left was that. If Geralt didn't accept her offer then she knew all was lost.

“I don't want to impose...”

“You're not,” she interrupted him before he could blurt out any excuses. “I'm asking you to come inside with me.”

Geralt couldn't refuse that request. Even though things between them were weird, he still couldn't resist her charms. There was something in the way she looked at him, a glint of desperation growing in her eyes, that made it impossible for him to say no to her. It gave him hope. He thought she was angry with him, and she was, but inside her still burned the flame of love they had once shared. Maybe all was not lost. Maybe he could still make things right.

He followed her back into the house, pulling off his wet cloak and muddy boots before entering the room. It looked exactly as he remembered it, not a single object out of place. It was as if time had not passed. The flowers on the window sill were still as colorful and full of life as in the spring, the books stacked in the wooden trunk at the foot of the bed did not seem to have changed their order. The air smelled of her, that intoxicating mixture of floral perfume and wet earth that he had come to miss so much.

However, the reality of the situation hit him as he laid his head on the pillow. There was no goodnight kiss or silly talk before bed. She simply laid down on his side of the bed and settled down with her back to him before blowing out the candle that lit the room. They were only inches apart, but Geralt had never felt so far away from her before. Even when he was miles away, purposely avoiding her, he still felt close to her. How could he not when images of her wouldn't leave his mind? He kept seeing her in his dreams, reliving their happy moments every time he closed his eyes, fantasizing about hearing her laughter and feeling the warmth of her body once more. But now that he had her by his side, he felt nothing but a cold emptiness pressing on his chest.

He wanted to reach out to touch her. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to wrap her in his arms and never let her go again, but he didn't know if he could —or if he should. He understood her hesitation, she had every right to be angry with him after the way he had reacted. He wanted to give her some space, some time so they could get their relationship back on track. He didn't want to pressure her, so he kept his hands to himself even though it hurt. He had to think of her first. He had no right to suddenly come back into her life after he had unilaterally decided to leave her, and demand the same treatment from her as before.

But what Geralt didn't know was that she wasn't avoiding him on purpose. She wanted to run into his arms, curl up on his chest and sleep wrapped in his warmth. But she didn't feel like she was the one who had to make the first move. Her feelings for him had never changed. She had been the one who had tried to make their relationship blossom. She had tried so hard to show him that they could have a future together. Geralt had been the one who had run away without explanation, so he should be the one to make the first move if he wanted to. She didn't want to pressure him, to make him feel like he had to do or say things he didn't want to just to protect her feelings. If he reached out to her, she needed to know that he was doing it because he really wanted to.

That was why his distance hurt her so much. Clearly there was something broken in their relationship and the most heartbreaking thing of it all was that she didn't know what to do to fix it —or even if she could.

The morning brought more pleasant weather conditions with it. The silent tension that haunted Geralt and the princess disappeared almost completely, mainly because they both sought to focus their attention on Ciri to avoid dealing with their own problems. Looking for an excuse that would give her the opportunity to spend more time with the girl, she asked Ciri to accompany her on a walk through the forest to replenish her collection of medicinal herbs. The winter was fast approaching and soon there would be nothing left but the plants she grew stored inside her house. Ciri agreed and Geralt joined them under the guise of hunting their lunch, although he had the decency to keep his distance so that they could get to know each other better.

It was a beautiful morning. Even though the autumn sun was not strong enough to counteract the cold breeze, there was no freezing mist that morning and that was already a reason to celebrate. Besides, Ciri was no longer wearing wet clothes and was well rested and fed, so she felt capable of accomplishing anything. The young woman guided her through the forest, telling her the details of the plants they needed to collect —their appearance, their medicinal uses, the potions and ointments she created. Ciri listened to her intently, fascinated and intrigued with the new information she was being presented with, wondering if she would be able to accomplish something like this someday.

“So you're a mage then?” Ciri asked, looking up at the woman walking beside her smelling a white flower.

“Not exactly.” she replied, earning a look of confusion from the girl. “I have an aptitude for magic, but I wasn't officially trained. I was taught by a healer everything I know, but magic is far more complex than what I know or the things I can do.” She hastened to explain as she knelt down in the dirt to pick up a couple of valerian leaves and put them in her basket.

“Is that how you met Geralt? Through your powers?”

“My abilities did play a part in the story of how we met, yes, but not in the way you're probably thinking.” The princess lost herself in her memories for a moment, images of that day flashing before her eyes. It felt so close and yet so far away at the same time. It was amazing to look back and see how far she had come both as a person, as well as their relationship. “He didn't tell you about us, huh?”

“He said you were an old friend, but didn't answer any of my questions. He's not particularly chatty.” Ciri said with a chuckle and she couldn't help but laugh too. If there was anyone who knew how difficult it could be to get a topic of conversation out of Geralt, it was her. She could almost imagine the girl's effusive curiosity running into the witcher's frustrating monosyllabic responses, just like it used to happen to her.

"Oh trust me, I know."

Geralt could hear them talking, but decided not to intervene. Instead he watched from a distance as they laughed together, feeling happy that they were getting along. Not that he thought it would be difficult, Ciri was a lovely girl and his sunshine was one of the sweetest and nicest people that existed on the continent. But still, it was nice to see them conversing so comfortably. It made him feel a strange warmth inside, a strange feeling unlike anything he had ever felt before. But he liked it, he found it comforting.

“We met after I escaped my home.” The princess began to tell her story, thinking carefully about every word before she said it. It was a great opportunity to build trust with Ciri, to let her know that she could understand her better than anyone else since she had also been a child frightened by her own powers. “You see, a long time ago I was a princess, just like you, trapped in a kingdom that had forbidden magic long before I was even born. I had to learn everything I know in secret, hiding from my parents and my own kingdom. Ruling wasn't my calling, especially in those conditions, so one day I decided to run away.”

Ciri's interest was piqued, her eyes growing wide with curiosity as she listened intently to the story the young woman told her. She told her about the monster that prowled the forests of her kingdom and how she used it to fake her death so she could escape a future she didn't want in a kingdom that didn't appreciate her. She also told her that was the reason Geralt showed up at her town, having been hired to kill the monster and avenge the death of the princess. But instead of encountering a beast, he found the young woman hiding in the forest.

“He could have taken me back to the castle. My parents probably would have paid him more to return their presumed dead daughter and heir to the throne home, but he didn't... he listened to my pleas and had mercy on me. He saved my life... everything I am today, everything I have, I owe to him. Geralt gave me a second chance in life and for that I will be eternally grateful.”

The princess smiled, remembering the details of their first meeting. Geralt had truly saved her life. She had failed to properly prepare for her escape, acting hastily and recklessly after an argument with her father that ended with him yelling at her that she was a disgrace to his family for not wanting to marry a lord who didn't love or respect her and only saw her as a way to gain more power. No matter how well she knew those woods, she could not have gotten very far on her own. And if anyone else had found her, they would have returned her to her parents without a thought, condemning her to a life of misery.

But Geralt had not done so. He had taken pity on her, putting her well-being above gaining greater wealth even when he did not know her. He had given her the opportunity to discover herself in complete freedom, far from the demands and mandates of her parents. Everything she was, was made possible by him. That's why she was always willing to help him, no matter how angry or upset she was with him. She couldn't let go of the hand of the man who had taken hers and pulled her out of the dark pit that was her former life.

“He saved my life too.” Ciri said with a sad smile on her lips. “He's the only family I have left.”

“I'm sorry about that,” the young woman offered a smile, resting her hand on the girl's shoulder and giving it a supportive squeeze. “You shouldn't have to go through all that violence and pain, no child should. But you are in good hands with Geralt, he's going to take good care of you. Don't let the big, grumpy frown and the stories about witchers fool you, he is a big softie with a heart of gold.”

They shared a few chuckles and continued on their way, searching for the herbs they had yet to gather. The princess told Ciri about the Celandine plant and its medicinal properties —telling her to keep her eyes open in case she saw a four-petaled yellow flower—, and about the Eyebright plant and how it had cured an eye infection in a girl's eye in the village. She also shared with her some of the stories of her life, how she had practically grown up in the forest and the peace she felt when she was in contact with nature.

Ciri liked to hear those stories, especially when she told her about the difficulties she faced in understanding and learning to control her powers in the beginning. It made her feel less lonely to know that she wasn't the only one who had to go through something like that alone and without much guidance. It gave her hope for her future. Watching as she bent down to heal the broken wing of a bird on the side of the road, Ciri thought that if she had managed to understand and control her powers then there was still hope for her too. Maybe one day she would stop being afraid of her own abilities. Maybe she would come to understand what was wrong with her and the purpose of her powers.

“Why did they prohibit magic in your kingdom?” the girl asked curiously, marveling at the healing capabilities of the runaway princess' powers. It only took a touch of her hands and the utterance of some words she did not understand for the bird to recover, flying from her hands to get lost in the treetops. Ciri could not understand how something as wonderful as that could be seen as a bad thing. Her powers were nothing like hers, so it was hard for her to think that they would be viewed as displeasing to anyone.

“No one really talked about it, and I was always too afraid to ask. But from what I understand, magic ran in the royal family, but it had never brought the kingdom any luck, only chaos and destruction.” she explained returning her attention to Ciri now that the bird had disappeared from her vision. “Apparently it made people too unstable to rule. My great grandmother was the last one to have magic before me and she was the reason it was banned, but no one really talked about it so I don't know exactly why. For the most part everybody just pretended magic didn't exist, especially my parents. I think they knew that I inherited my great grandmother's abilities and they thought that maybe if they didn't mention it might go away. But the only thing they accomplished was to isolate me.”

She paused in her story and Ciri could notice in her eyes the pain those memories caused her. The joyful and sweet expression that graced her face was replaced by a sad and melancholic look. It was only for a second, but her face changed so much that she looked like a completely different person from the one who was standing next to her minutes before. Ciri wondered what kind of horrors she would have had to go through in her old home and if that expression was so different because it belonged to the princess she had left behind.

“When I started showing the first signs of chaos, I didn't know what was going on with me. I was terrified.” She cleared her throat and then her face lit up with its usual sweetness again. “If it wasn't for the new court physician I would have never learned the truth. She was a mage on the run, hiding in the last place she thought they were going to look for her. She noticed the signs immediately and took me under her wing, taught me everything I know... how to control my powers, how to use them in the art of healing, and more importantly, she taught me to not be afraid of them, to not let the fear of others influence me.”

She gave Ciri a small smile, hoping she understood the meaning behind her words. She wanted to be that positive figure in her life, to pass on to Ciri the knowledge and confidence that had been passed on to her in her training. It wasn't much compared to what other mages could teach her, but it was a start. She was willing to be the guide she so desperately needed, if Ciri would let her.

“Were they afraid of you because you were different?” The girl asked, looking at her with wide eyes full of curiosity. It was a question she was asking both the woman beside her and herself. The princess recognized that, so she stopped in her tracks and turned to look Ciri in the eye. It was important for her to hear and understand what she was about to tell her.

“Probably, yes.” she admitted with a sigh. Ciri lowered her gaze and she took a step forward, reaching out to grab her chin and make her look up. “But you have to understand that fear is one of the most common reactions people have to the unknown, to that which they don't understand. It's not personal, they just can't help it. One important thing I learned over time is that reaction is something you can't control, there is nothing you or I can say or do to stop those who don't understand magic from fearing it. But what we can control is our own fear. And it is important not to let the fear of others affect one's perception of oneself.”

“But what if they are right?” Ciri's voice was close to a whisper, almost as if she struggled to utter those words aloud. As if she was afraid to admit what her mind had been repeating to her since the fall of Cintra, fearing that saying it would make it real. “What if magic only brings death and destruction?”

It was clear to the princess that Ciri was referring to her own powers. She didn't need to know her too well —or even know the details of her powers— to understand, she could see it in the tears that had gathered in her eyes. It broke his heart to see the little girl in that state. She was just a child, it wasn't fair that she had such dark thoughts clouding her mind at that young age. Fate had been very cruel to her, taking away her family and home in a single act of terrible violence that she had had to witness without being able to do anything to prevent it. Not only that, but now she had to face her future and the development of her powers with no one to guide her. No child should have to go through something like that. All she wanted to do at that moment was to hug Ciri and tell her that there was nothing wrong with her, to assure her that everything would be alright and that her life would get better. But before she could even utter a word, a strange sound echoed throughout the forest, distracting her attention from the girl.

Her gaze instinctively searched for Geralt, who was already alert. His eyes searched the surroundings as his hand slowly approached the handle of the sword resting on his back. She felt Ciri's hand squeeze hers and returned her gaze to the girl. She was met with her expression of terror, which only got worse as the rumbling of what could only be described as a deafening shriek was heard.

“Geralt!” The woman called his name, hoping he would give some sort of explanation for what was happening.

Though he didn't need to say anything, because at that instant a figure came into view in the distance. It was a monster, but not one like anything she had ever seen or read about. It was large, with multiple legs and eyes, and a long tail that ended in a sharp point. It was like a strange, disgusting mix between a scorpion and a centipede, a large creature that towered tall above them. It stood still for a moment, keeping a relative distance, as if searching for something specific. The princess pushed Ciri behind her, instinctively seeking to protect her. The creature shrieked again and Geralt pulled out his sword.

“Run!” He commanded them before advancing towards the beast with his sword held high.

The princess hesitated for a second, feeling the need to reach out to him to help him, but Ciri tugged on her hand and reminded her that she needed hisprotection. They ran through the forest holding hands, helping each other keep their balance when they stumbled due to their nerves. She tried to keep Ciri safe, positioning herself a few steps behind her to protect her from a possible surprise attack with her own body. From time to time she looked behind, searching the horizon for the figure of Geralt or that monster to know in which direction to flee. But it was difficult to follow the fight when she was also worried about looking after Ciri. She needed some sort of vantage point that would allow her to observe the enemy so she could prepare for its attack.

“Is it gone?” the girl asked in fright as she tried to catch her breath. They had stopped momentarily when they saw that the monster was no longer at their heels. They couldn't hear it screeching either, so they thought maybe Geralt had taken care of it.

“I don't know.” she answered honestly, pushing Ciri against a tree to hide in case he came back. “I don't see Geralt anywhere.”

“Should we go back to look for him?”

“No, that's too dangerous... we need to get to higher ground.”

Before she could say another word, the beast made its presence known again. It came out of nowhere, screeching and moaning, no doubt hurt by the witcher. But in spite of that, it rushed towards the direction of the two princesses with the same voracious determination. Ciri screamed and grabbed the hand of the woman at her side to start running once more, but she stayed in place.

There was no sign of Geralt anywhere and given the amount of legs that beast had, it was clear that they couldn't outrun it. Ciri wouldn't be able to escape from there without someone to give her a head start.

“Run north, up the hill and hide there. Don't look back!” she ordered and the girl looked at her with confusion.

“What about you?”

“I'll come look for you, but I need to buy you some time to run.” She explained quickly, keeping her eyes on the beast that was getting closer and closer to them. “Go, Ciri! Now!”

The girl hesitated, finding the scene all too familiar. The number of times she had had to leave someone behind to save her life was more than she would like. It never ended well and she felt responsible for all the lives that had been sacrificed to get her there. She hoped Geralt's friend wouldn't join the list, she didn't know if she could tolerate one more death on her conscience.

As soon as Ciri started to run, she concentrated on attacking the monster that was chasing them. She moved out of the girl's way, seeking to draw the beast's attention to her to distract it. But to her surprise, it didn't seem to care. It continued on its way in the direction of Ciri as if she were not in that forest. And if it wasn't because she invoked the sign of Aard the beast probably wouldn't have bothered to attack her. It was clear that its target was Ciri, although she could not understand the reason.

She used what little knowledge she had of magic outside of healing to attack the monster. She relied on the Quen sign to protect herself when the beast came too close, just as Geralt had taught her. And she summoned Aard's power to throw the beast away from her, slamming it into every tree and rock she could find in hopes the impact would stun it and give her a chance to escape. She put up a good fight, but it was clear that she couldn't beat him with her limited skills.

Luckily, she didn't have to. Geralt appeared just in time to save her, crossing his sword with the beast's pointed tail before it could hurt her. They shared a simple, quick glance, but that was enough for them to communicate. Geralt's eyes assured her that he would take care of the beast and asked her to protect Ciri. She nodded to him, letting him know that the girl's safety was her priority before running after her.

It didn't take her long to find Ciri, she knew that forest like the back of her hand. She was hiding in the bushes, ready to attack anything that came near her. The girl almost hit her in the stomach with a log when she approached her hiding place, fearing it was an attacker coming to hurt her. She stopped just in time though, wide eyes looking at the woman in front of her with surprise. She hadn't expected to see her there —not after learning the fate of all those who had stayed behind to give her a chance to escape danger—, but she was glad she was all right. Ciri felt safer with her by her side.

“Where is Geralt?” asked Ciri worriedly, looking behind the woman's back for her protector's white mane.

“He's fine.” she assured her, approaching the edge of the hill to look down for movement that would indicate Geralt's whereabouts. But she saw nothing. Nor did she hear the shrieks of the beast pursuing them. All was quiet, almost too quiet. It gave her a bad feeling. “Come on, we have to keep moving.” She indicated to Ciri, taking her by the hand once more.

But before they could get more than a couple of steps away, the monster reached them, cornering them against some rocks and the ledge. It was so sudden, that the princess could do nothing more than create a protective energy field, enveloping her and Ciri's figure in a semi-transparent whitish bubble that kept the beast away from them. She pushed the girl behind her and told her to prepare to run when she gave the signal. Ciri protested, refusing to let her face the beast alone, but she assured her that she would be fine. The truth was that she didn't know, but she had no choice but to stand between the monster and the girl it so desperately sought to attack. She was going to fight to her last breath to protect it because it was the right thing to do —and because it was what Geralt expected of her.

However, her countdown only reached two before a sword pierced the beast's body. It let out a shriek of pain and tried to lunge at its attacker, but Geralt plunged his sword even deeper, giving it one last thrust before withdrawing it to let the creature bleed out. The beast collapsed to the ground, spreading a viscous dark green liquid oozing from its mortal wound onto the earth. It writhed a couple of times until it stopped moving, signaling that life had left its body.

The princess let out a sigh of relief, breaking the energy field now that it was safe for Ciri. The relief didn't last long, however, because Geralt collapsed next to the beast, dropping his sword with a loud clang. She and Ciri ran to him, calling his name with concern. He was still conscious when they knelt beside him, though he looked weak.

“Let me see.” she asked when she noticed Geralt squeezing his thigh with one hand. He moved it, allowing her to inspect the wound closely.

There was a tear in his pants and beneath it the skin of the witcher's thigh was swollen and reddened. There was a puncture wound that leaked drops of blood mixed with a thick black liquid. Making a closer inspection, she noticed the small black lines branching out, veins standing out on his skin as they slowly began the work of spreading the poison through his system.

“Fuck!” she muttered under her breath as she tore a piece of the skirt from her dress.

“What?” Ciri asked worriedly, watching as she tied the piece of cloth around Geralt's thigh, just above his wound, and tied a tight knot that caused the witcher to groan in pain. “What is it?”

“Poison.” she replied simply, picking up Geralt's sword from the ground and using it to cut the stinger from the tail of the monster lying lifelessly beside him. Then, she removed her cloak and used it to wrap the tail in it, making sure it was safe to carry without coming into contact with the poison the stinger held. If this was a new monster —or at least, one she didn't know about— she was sure that having the direct source of the poison would be of vital importance to save Geralt's life.

“We need to get him back home. Now.”

Luckily, Geralt was still lucid enough to walk. The slow beating of his heart and the tourniquet she had improvised with part of her dress helped keep the poison from spreading through his body quickly, but it still needed to be treated urgently. Ciri helped her carry him, each of them putting one of Geralt's arms around their shoulders and holding him tightly to help him move with more ease and speed. They were not far from the hut, but it was not easy to travel with Geralt in that state, so it took them longer than usual to get there.

Once home, the princess settled Geralt on the bed, just as she had done so many times in the past, before running to get her potions and ointments to treat the wound. Ciri sat beside him on the bed, looking at her protector with concern as he mumbled in pain. She noticed that the wound on his leg was getting worse with each passing second and for a moment she was afraid that something bad was going to happen to him. She couldn't lose him, not after going through so much to find him. Geralt was the only thing she had left, her only hope, she couldn't lose him.

“Ciri, could you help him drink this?” The woman asked, handing her a small glass vial with a yellowish green liquid inside. The girl was grateful to have been entrusted with a task, something she could do that would help her feel her presence was useful. “It will help his body battle the effects of the poison.”

Ciri took the bottle with one hand and Geralt's head with the other, lifting him slightly off the bed so he could drink the potion. While she brought the bottle to his lips, the princess tended to the wound on his leg. First she carefully washed it, using warm water and a clean cloth to remove the blood and drops of poison that remained on the skin. Then, she spread an ointment of her own creation on the wound while uttering an incantation in the ancient tongue.

She concentrated all her energy on him, repeating the incantation with increasing strength and conviction. She was treating it as she would any wound infected with poison, but the reality was that she didn't know if that would work. The creature that had attacked him was new to her, so she didn't know if its poison would respond to conventional treatments. So she devoted all her energy to him in the hope that it would be enough to save him. And while arranging some herbs on the wound before bandaging it, she prayed to the gods that her beloved would wake up.

Geralt heard her sweet voice in the distance, and felt the warmth of her fingers brushing the skin of his leg. He tried to let himself be carried away by the warm energy that she transmitted to him, to drown the pain he felt in the peace that her voice awakened in him. He tried to concentrate on her so as not to faint, clinging to the scent of her skin and the melody in her voice as if his life depended on it. But even his stubbornness and unwavering willpower were not enough to combat the effects of the poison. And though he fought against it, eventually his eyes closed and everything went black.

The last thing he heard before he slipped into unconsciousness was the sweet voice of his sunshine telling him, “rest.”

Ciri did not move from Geralt's side. She insisted on taking care of him and controlling how his condition was progressing while the princess investigated the stinger she had extracted from the beast. She began by extracting some of the venom that was still inside it, being very careful not to let it come into contact with her skin while she transferred it to a glass vial. She did some tests with it, studying how it reacted when in contact with different herbs and medicinal plants, as well as some of the potions she had in her catalog. None of the results she got were what she expected, so she began to worry. Maybe this thing was different after all. Maybe she couldn't save him this time.

“I think something is wrong!” Ciri suddenly exclaimed, breaking her concentration. The princess didn't ask her any more follow-up questions, she simply followed her into the room and approached Geralt to examine him.

He was definitely not looking like he should. He had been resting for a few hours, yet his physical appearance had worsened. He looked paler than usual and his breathing was irregular. A thin layer of sweat adorned his skin, and when she reached up to touch his forehead she discovered that it was hot.

“This is wrong.” she muttered to herself, undoing the bandage so she could examine the progress of the wound on his leg.

“What's wrong? What's going on?” Ciri questioned the woman, desperate to hear her professional opinion.

Lifting the bandage, she discovered that the wound had only worsened. The skin was swollen and hot to the touch, and the black veins stood out even more against the pale skin, extending until they were lost under the tourniquet that was still tight around the witcher's leg. “He's getting worse...” she murmured, concern and confusion mingling in her voice. “He's not responding to the treatment.”

“There must be something we can do!” Ciri insisted and the woman looked at her, not knowing what to say. She didn't know of any other ways to treat a wound as such, at least not ways that weren't pure legends. She could always research and try some alternative method, but she wasn't sure she had enough time for that.

“Kaer... Morhen...” Geralt stammered weakly, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Vesemir will know what to do.”

She just gave Ciri a look and the girl ran off to the stable to prepare the horses for the journey. She stayed behind with Geralt, grabbing a couple of her remedies and the beast's tail before carrying the witcher on her shoulder once more, dragging him with some difficulty to the door. When Roach saw the state his owner was in, she lay down on the ground to allow him to climb onto her back more easily. She gave the mare a few gentle pats and kind compliments before helping Ciri mount Brego, the horse she had personally raised after finding him badly injured and forgotten on a road. Once the girl was safe and settled, she mounted Roach behind Geralt, wrapping her arms around him to hold him in place as she took the reins and they set off.

She didn't know the exact road to Kaer Morhen, only that it was south of where she lived. She had a few clues that gave her more details from the stories Geralt had told her about his life, but that was all. She had never asked him much about it, she knew that after being attacked the witchers kept to themselves and she didn't want to pressure him to reveal those details. She thought that maybe, if someday he felt comfortable enough with her to tell her about his home, he would. But now she was regretting not being more nosy.

Geralt was going in and out of consciousness, so while he could give directions from time to time, he was not the most reliable source. Ciri also didn't know the way since she had never been there before. However, Roach was a very smart horse who had traveled those roads many times in the past. So when they came to a crossroads, the mare advanced along the left-hand path with confidence. And before they knew it, they had reached Kaer Morhen.

“We need help!” she shouted and a middle-aged, white-haired man ran to meet her, startled by the commotion. His eyes fell on Geralt and she noticed the concern in them as he reached out a hand to touch the witcher's forehead.

“What happened?”

“He was attacked by a creature. He's been poisoned and I don't know how to stop it from spreading.”

“Get him inside!” At his command, a group of men grabbed Geralt and carried him inside. The young woman grabbed Ciri, holding the girl against her body so as not to lose her as she very timidly followed the others.

Both she and Ciri refused to leave Geralt, so Vesemir —the name given to them by the man who received them— had to work under the watchful eye of the two. He asked them about the attack and the young healer explained as best she could the details of the beast that had chased them. She didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified to discover that an experienced witcher like Vesemir didn't seem to know what kind of creature she was describing.

“This may help.” She said, pulling the beast's tail covered in an old cloth from her bag. “I tested the poison against every plant and healing element I know of and nothing seems to work.”

“That's not the only problem.” the man said, gesturing for her to come closer. “You see this inflammation here? It's full of the creature's venom.” Vesemir lightly pressed the lump on Geralt's skin and a couple of black drops escaped from the puncture wound. “The venom is lodging there for some reason, spreading slowly to maximize the damage. No treatment is going to work until we extract it.”

“How can I help?”

“Hold him still.”

Vesemir rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a leather bag containing a couple of syringes, needles and other useful artifacts for healing a witcher's wounds. He took the middle syringe, with a relatively long needle, disinfected it and then rested his gaze on the young woman in a silent way of telling her to get ready. She nodded slightly, tightening her grip on Geralt's leg to make sure he didn't move it. Vesemir then inserted the needle into the wound very carefully. It was important that he didn't accidentally burst the bubble of poison that had been created under the skin or it might end up spreading faster.

Geralt mumbled in pain and his body twisted as Vesemir began to extract the poison, but the young woman kept a firm grip on him. And when that wasn't enough to keep him still, she resorted to talking to him, just as she always did when he showed up injured on her doorstep. She murmured sweet words of encouragement and her soft voice seemed to be enough to bring peace to the witcher. His body stopped writhing and his rapid breathing gradually calmed down.

When Vesemir finished extracting the poison, the young woman watched in horror as the dark liquid almost filled the syringe. She wondered how that beast had been able to inject so much poison in such a short time and worried about Geralt's condition. How much poison had made it through his system? She liked to think not too much since he was still breathing, but the amount of viscous liquid trapped in the syringe worried her. Vesemir didn't seem particularly worried, but she wasn't sure she could read the expert witcher's emotions as easily as she could read Geralt's.

She watched him rummage through a cabinet full of elixirs until he came across a dark-colored one. He ripped off the cap with his teeth and poured some of the contents on the wound on Geralt's leg, who groaned in pain but did not open his eyes. Then he passed the bottle to her.

“Make him drink this.” Vesemir instructed him before disappearing out the door.

The young woman was assisted by Ciri in the task. The little girl helped her hold Geralt's head high enough so that he would not choke on the liquid while she parted his lips and placed the spout of the bottle between them. The witcher coughed a little as the liquid touched his throat, but it was only for a moment.

“It's alright, you're alright... everything is going to be fine.” She murmured words of encouragement as she emptied the elixir down his throat, though she wasn't entirely sure to whom she was directing such phrases, Geralt or herself.

When Vesemir returned, two other witchers accompanied him. At the man's request, they took Geralt and led him to his quarters to rest.

“Is he going to be alright?” a very worried Ciri asked as she watched the weak and fainting body of her only protector being carried away.

“Only time will tell. The next few hours are critical, if he makes it through the night I'm sure he'll make a full recovery.” Vesemir was honest, perhaps a little bit more than he should have been with a girl like Ciri. He was already busy analyzing the extracted poison and the tail of the beast that had attacked and almost ended the life of one of the best witchers left on the continent, so he didn't realize the impact of his words on her until he turned and met the expression of fear and worry on the girl's face.

“Geralt is strong, he's not going down without a fight. I've seen him pull through worse things.” He tried to reassure her. “You are invited to stay here, if you are friends of Geralt you are always welcome. Although I'm afraid I won't be able to accompany you, I have to study this thing in case Geralt's condition gets worse.”

“I can stay with him.” The young woman offered. “Keep an eye on him and call you if anything feels off.”

“Sure, that will be of much help. Thank you. Just ask one of the boys to guide you to Geralt's chambers.”

The young healer was very interested in learning about the elixirs and other things Vesemir had in that room. Some things she could recognize, some she had an idea of what they were and some were completely new. She was a curious person, especially when it came to her area of expertise, so she had a million questions to ask Vesemir. She would have loved to stay and see what tests he conducted on the poison and what things he looked for in the animal's severed tail. But her priority now was Geralt. She needed to know that he was okay and she wouldn't rest until she saw him open his eyes again. So she took Ciri's hand and headed for the door, but not before thanking Vesemir for the hospitality.

At first Geralt thought he was dreaming. His eyelids felt heavy and he was disoriented. The world around him was a blur and he could hear a ringing in his ears. He couldn't remember where he was or how he had gotten there, and the harder he tried to recall any images of the last few hours, the more difficult it became. It was like trying to remember a dream, the blurred and confused images escaping from his mind as he struggled to capture them. Yet somehow, in the midst of the chaos that was his mind at that moment, he found her. She was lying next to him, curled in on herself in the small space on the bed that he did not occupy. Her beautiful, delicate face was partially covered by her hair, but he didn't need to see it to know she was asleep. He found her before anything else, a beacon of clarity in the midst of the darkness clouding his mind. Only then, his mind decided to cooperate, recognizing images and patterns around him that helped make sense of where he was.

And yet, Geralt remained focused on her. If the dizziness didn't make him feel like in a dream, seeing her like that, so relaxed and peaceful next to him, definitely did. It was a scene that almost didn't seem real after a long year of distance and yearning. It was a sight he hadn't had in a year, her curled up beside him, sleeping peacefully next to the warmth of his body. There was no weird tension in the air or unspoken discomfort like that other night. She genuinely looked comfortable and calm next to him and Geralt couldn't help but smile.

But beyond that, her figure sleeping next to him was a beautiful sight he had never had the pleasure of having in his own home. Their encounters always occurred outside, in the maelstrom of the real world or in the calm of her hut in the forest, but never in his home. Geralt had awakened many mornings with the young woman in his arms, but none had been in his own bed, covered by his own blankets, hidden in the safety of his own room. He discovered then that he liked the feeling of sharing that space with her. It made everything he felt for her feel more real. It made his longing to stay by her side seem more feasible. She was there with him, caring for him and keeping him company, and the world seemed right again.

Geralt tried to sit up in order to better admire her beauty, but instantly regretted it when he felt a sharp pain in his leg. He let out a low grunt, bringing his hand to the bandage wrapped around his thigh with a grimace of confusion. Then flashes of the last few hours overwhelmed his mind. He remembered fighting the monster that chased them in the forest. He remembered the sharp sting of its tail and the burn of its venom. He remembered Ciri's worried look and reaching Kaer Morhen. But most of all, he remembered the gentle touch of his healer on his fevered skin and the sweet sound of her voice lulling him to peace as she always did. Her voice echoed in his mind and the mere memory seemed to be enough to silence the ringing in his ears and ease the pain in his weak and tired body. That didn't surprise him, though. Geralt had long since ceased to be amazed by the effect she had on him. He had learned to accept it, just as he accepted the day turning to night or the winter turning to spring. She was his light, a warm sun on the first day of the equinox that lengthened the day and melted the ice to allow the fields to bloom. She was his sunshine and he realized now that he had spent the last year living in an eternal winter to which he never wished to return.

The movement of the bed beside him brought Geralt out of his thoughts. He leaned over just in time to see his princess open her eyes as she stretched slightly. He could admire the confusion in her expression for a few brief seconds as her sleep clouded mind struggled to figure out where she was. Then her eyes opened wide and her gaze fell upon him. He was glad to see a glint of joy in them at finding him awake and had to bite the inside of his lip to hold back the smile as he saw her jump up in bed.

“Geralt! Are you okay? How are you feeling?” She questioned him with a strange mixture of excitement and concern in her voice.

“As if I had died and was brought back.” He replied with his classic dry humor, though it wasn't that far from the truth. His injured leg still ached when he moved it and his muscles felt tired as if he had spent all night battling a striga.

“You're not that far off.” She shrugged, rising from the bed to pour him a glass of water. Geralt accepted it gladly, drinking the contents in a couple of long sips. Boy was he thirsty!

“How long was I out?”

“Considering you've been in and out of consciousness since the attack, I'd say almost two days.” Geralt was surprised by that answer. In his mind it had only been a couple of hours, but apparently he remembered less than he thought.

Then, Ciri's worried face presented itself in his mind. “Ciri!” He exclaimed, jerking upright. He regretted moving once more, though, when the pain forced him to let out a grunt.

“She's alright!” The young woman hastened to say as she helped Geralt sit up. She took the pillows and stacked them carefully against his back, giving him a softer surface to lean on. Then she helped him recline on them, taking advantage of the moment of proximity to run her hand over his forehead and check for fever. “She's sleeping in the room next door.” She explained as she arranged the blankets so he wouldn't be cold. She knew he had grown up there and was probably used to the cold temperatures, but boy was the witchers' lair cold! “That girl refused to leave your side! I had to fight her to get her to go to sleep. She wanted to be here when you woke up, but I didn't want her here in case...” she trailed off. In case he didn't wake up was what she was going to say, but she couldn't bring herself to utter those words. Although she didn't have to, Geralt knew it when he noticed the sudden sadness that flashed across her face. “Anyway, I had to promise her that she would be the first one I would look for when you woke up to get her to go to sleep. And even then she stayed for another hour here.”

Geralt laughed, that sounded like Ciri. “Thank you... for keeping her safe.”

A silence formed as she took it upon herself to check his vitals. His breathing seemed normal, the same with his pulse —well, normal for a witcher. He no longer had a fever and when she uncovered the wound on his leg she noticed that the skin around it was in better condition. There were no more black lines or reddened areas. It was still somewhat swollen, but the skin was no longer warm to the touch, which was a good sign. Geralt enjoyed feeling her hands on his body, traveling from his forehead to his cheeks and gently brushing the skin of his leg. He swore the warmth of her fingers was all he needed to make the pain in his body go away. He felt a little more alive with every caress, every accidental touch. The magic of her touch slowly melted the hard layer of ice that had formed around him after a long year of harsh winter, but this time Geralt didn't fight it. He wanted her to do it, he wanted her light to finally allow spring to come. He was done running away from her.

“I'm sorry,” she said in a soft, almost inaudible voice as she changed the bandage on his leg. “I should have done more to help you... I just... I didn't know what to do.”

It took Geralt a few seconds to understand what she was saying, not because of the low volume of her voice, but because he found it incredible to hear the guilt in her words. “You saved me.” He pointed out as if it were obvious and she let out a snort.

“You almost died because of me!”

“I almost died because I was too slow and I got attacked by an unknown creature. I didn't expect you to know what to do, even I wouldn't have known what to do. But you brought me here in time and you keep Ciri safe, that's all that matters.”

The young woman smiled, not as big of a smile as Geralt had hoped, but enough to know that his words did have some sort of effect in easing the guilt that for some reason he didn't understand, she felt for what had happened. “That's nice of you to say.”

“It's the truth.”

“Whatever,” she said as she put away her leather case of ointments and healing potions. When she sat back down on the bed, Geralt noticed she had a nervous look on her face. “I would like to stay here with you and help you get back on your feet. I feel like I owe you that. It wouldn't be for too long, I mean, you had a great recovery so far and I'm sure you'll be alright, but I wouldn't feel right leaving you before I know for sure that you're okay... I know this place is... special, I guess, and that you don't let many outsiders in... and I wouldn't want to intrude, but I just couldn't leave without making sure you're okay.”

Geralt found her nervous rambling adorable. He would like to say that the feeling she felt was unfounded, but after how he had treated her he understood why she would be uncomfortable talking about such a thing. The last time she had made an effort to bring their worlds together he had rejected her. And not only that, but he had completely disappeared from her life for a year. He completely understood her nervousness and felt terrible knowing it was his fault.

“I want you to stay.”

Those simple five words were enough to arouse a sense of joy she had not felt in a long time. Those were the words she had waited all this time to hear, the confirmation that Geralt was willing to share some of his world with her after all. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel somewhat special. She knew that not many people had the privilege of walking through the gates of Kaer Morhen not having been raised there and she felt honored to be one of those few. A small smile tugged at her lips and Geralt knew then that his words had had the desired effect.

“Besides, I think your presence can be a good influence on Ciri. You can help me guide her on the right path and keep her safe.”

“I'll try my best, but I don't know as much about magic as other mages.”

“That's not the only thing you can teach her.”

Geralt knew very well that she had not been professionally trained. She had never gone to Arethusa to have her talents molded and sharpened, but that wasn't important to him. Geralt valued her for more than her magical abilities, he always had. For him one of her best traits was her personality, her way of facing the world with courage and optimism. She was one of the strongest people he knew, and he wasn't sure she knew it. Ciri needed someone like her, someone who could guide her through the dark shadow of tragedy and loss that clouded her path to reach the side of light. He could give her the tools to defend herself and face her fears, but she could teach Ciri to see the world from another perspective, a more positive and joyful one, something she desperately needed.

“I think it will do her good to have someone like you around.” Geralt smiled, his hand reaching for hers on the blanket. He felt the energy coursing through his body as they touched, her warmth melting the ice around his heart. The atmosphere in the room changed, suddenly more intimate and special. He wanted to tell her that her company was good for him too, but regretted it at the last moment. He didn't want to overwhelm her or sweet-talk her into forgiving him. If she decided to stay by his side, he wanted it to be her own decision.

The moment was cut short when the bedroom door opened, revealing a freshly awakened Ciri. The girl's eyes lit up with joy as they met the figure of a very lucid Geralt sitting up in bed. She uttered his name in an exclamation of surprise and crossed the room in a matter of seconds to throw herself into his arms.

“Careful!” the young woman warned her, “He's still hurt.”

“You were supposed to call me!” Ciri ignored her, choosing to scold her for not waking her up.

“I was just about to come get you.” She laughed, stepping aside so the girl could sit next to Geralt on the bed. “But since you're here, I'll go let Vesemir know Geralt's awake so he can come take a look at him.”

Contrary to popular belief, witchers were capable of feeling human emotions. That was something the young woman already knew, although living in Kaer Morhen surrounded by the last remaining witchers on the continent allowed her to appreciate the degree of emotions they felt. They were a strong brotherhood and cared deeply for each other, as evidenced by the tree of the fallen, as she called it. A place where the medallions of all the witchers who had perished hung, with more being added with each passing winter. But besides that, she learned that they were quite a fun group. Perhaps it was because they were in the safety of their home, resting after long months of hard work, but their attitudes were not at all what she expected. They kept telling jokes and playing tricks on each other, admittedly rather ordinary for her taste in some cases, but they didn't fail to make her laugh.

They were respectful to her —she suspected Geralt had something to do with that—, but still made her feel welcome in their home. She found it interesting to be surrounded by the most intimidating and roughest looking men on the continent and feel as safe as she did in her own home. She was sure that if her first encounter with many of them had occurred outside the walls of Kaer Morhen, her opinion would be different. Just as when she first met Geralt, it was very likely that the imposing figure of the witchers would have intimidated her and it would have taken her a long time to discover that they were actually very nice people. Lambert and Coen were her favorites, their constant bickering always amused her greatly. Although sometimes she had to confront them to make them be nicer to poor Ciri. They were training her along with Geralt just as Vesemir had trained them and it was the woman's job to remind them that she was just a child.

Vesemir was very good to her as well. Not only had he not complained when Geralt announced that she would be staying with them, but he agreed to indulge her curiosity. He let her watch him work on the analysis of the tail of the monster that had attacked them, even asking for her assistance in some things. They did not reach any satisfactory conclusions, but it was interesting to participate in the process. She learned a lot about the witchers and their creation from Vesemir, as well as the elixirs that helped them on the battlefield. He was a very wise man, and she was honored that he trusted her with his knowledge.

However, her favorite thing was seeing Geralt so relaxed and free, laughing with his siblings and acting like a father to Ciri. It was a side of him she didn't know. Of course he laughed and had fun with her when they spent time together in her hut, but that was different. Their encounters were always filled with this... tension in the air, tainted with unspoken feelings and silent longings. It was a constant countdown, the black cloud of reality always near no matter how hard they both tried to ignore it. From the moment Geralt walked through the door of her home, she knew that the clock had started ticking and that the happiness that was invading her at that moment would come to an end sooner or later. But there was no such thing in Kaer Morhen. There was no rush and no time, so Geralt could relax and be himself. And thanks to that she had discovered a much more... playful and joyful side of him. And she loved it.

What she also loved was the nickname that others had for him. The first time someone had called him wolf, she thought she had heard wrong. They were eating at a table all together and the shouting made it hard to even hear Ciri sitting next to her. But the next time it happened there was no noise to block her hearing. She and Geralt were in the kitchen since this time it was his turn to prepare dinner. He had gone hunting in the morning and now he was in charge of skinning the animal for her to cook. She didn't pay much attention to the conversation Geralt had with Vesemir when he appeared in the kitchen, focused on cutting the vegetables for the stew without hurting her fingers. But her ears pricked up when she heard him utter that nickname.

Wolf

The word echoed in her mind for a while, drowning out whatever was going on around her as she cooked. It was a fitting nickname for Geralt now that she thought about it. Everything about him screamed wolf, both externally and internally. Beyond his imposing presence, great hunting skills and impressive agility, he often hid behind a cold and hostile appearance. When he entered a room he could evoke the same fear and respect in people who did not know him that a wild wolf evoked in a traveler who stumbled upon it unexpectedly on his journey. The witchers had a certain reputation among the common people, built on myths and lies long spread across the continent. And while they were not true, Geralt found them convenient. It was easier to travel the world when people feared him —at least, most of the time. But that cold attitude was a sham, a shield protecting who he really was. He liked to present himself as a lone wolf who didn't need anyone, but in reality he cared about people, especially those closest to him. And just like a wolf protecting his pack, Geralt was willing to do anything to care for those he loved the most. Sometimes she thought that was exactly why he decided to stay away from people. He cared too much and that could be terrifying, not only because of the state of vulnerability it left him in, but also because of the degree of atrocities he would be willing to commit to protect his own.

“Wolf, huh?” She muttered as Vesemir left. She discovered she liked the nickname even more as she uttered it aloud. It was sweet and it felt good to finally have something to fight back with when he called her sunshine. “I like it,” she smiled, ”It suits you.”

“How so?” Geralt arched an eyebrow, wiping his hands on a rag before taking a few steps towards her. The woman pushed aside the knife she held in her hands, looking up to stare at the witcher.

“Well, you're imposing and agile as one... you're incredibly observant and great at hunting... and you're willing to fight tooth and nail to protect your own.” She spoke thoughtfully, listing characteristics as they came to mind. Geralt admired her with a slight grimace of amusement, thinking how much he missed having those kinds of conversations with her. “You're like a big scary white wolf who acts all tough but that's all for show, lots of bark and little bite.”

Geralt let out a snort. “It is?” he inquired and she nodded, even though she knew it wasn't technically true. He was quite capable of actually following through on his threats when he made them, but it was much more fun for her to tease him about his soft side.

“Yes! I mean, it took me a couple of weeks to earn your trust and then you were rolling over and showing me your belly like a dog asking for pets.”

Geralt let out a sarcastic laugh, but the truth was he couldn't quite say anything to contradict her. He wished he could wipe the smug smile off her face, but she was right, he had taken a liking to her rather quickly. And worst of all, it had happened without him noticing until it was too late. He became accustomed to her company — to wake up to the sound of her voice and listen to the sweet melody of her laughter— to such an extent that when she was gone the world felt wrong. He could not pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with her, one day she was a frightened girl asking for his help in the forest and the next she was the ray of sunshine that brightened his days. Just like that, without warning, she had made a place in his heart that she refused to give up no matter how hard he tried to push her away.

“But it's okay, I like that duality.” Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “You're my big, scary, but surprisingly gentle white wolf.”

The young woman smiled tenderly as she used her fingers to push a lock of hair away from Geralt's face. It was an unconscious thing, a movement engraved in the memory of her muscles after having done it so many times in their long nights of conversations. When she realized it, she felt the urge to move her hand away, embarrassed by her audacity. Their relationship was in a very gray area, things were not clear at all. She was no longer angry with him, but things between them had not yet returned to normal, so the intimate gesture seemed out of place.

Or at least that's what she thought until she saw the way Geralt leaned over her hand. It was probably an unconscious movement as well, but she used the moment to test the waters. She let her fingers trail along his temple, slowly making their way down to his cheek. She did not dare to look him in the eye, so she focused her gaze on the movement of her hand, admiring the marks and scars that adorned the witcher's skin. She noticed that there were a couple that were new and couldn't help but wonder about the stories behind them. What kind of adventures had he had while he was distanced from her? What monster could have caused those injuries? How had he healed them? Had it been him or maybe it was someone else's work? Had someone else taken her place in the time that had passed?

She didn't like where her thoughts were going, so she covered the marks with her fingers, cradling Geralt's cheek. Then she mustered up the courage and looked up, curious as to what might be going through his mind at that moment. She found the witcher's golden eyes were fixed on her, admiring her with longing and, dare she say it, love. There was a warmth in his gaze that drew her to him. It made her feel seen in a way she hadn't felt since the moment he left. He was the only one who could make her feel that way, so safe, so desired... so loved. And he was the only one she wanted to look at her that way.

She didn't realize how much closer she had gotten to Geralt until she felt his nose brush against hers. His warm breath mingled with hers as it escaped her half-open lips, caressing them with the promise of that long-awaited kiss that never came. She wanted to move, to close the little distance that separated them and finally discover what it would feel like to kiss him, but it was impossible for her to do so. She was trapped under Geralt's intense gaze. Like a moth to the flame, she was lost in the golden glow of his eyes, waiting expectantly for his next move.

But the kiss never came. Only this time it wasn't because she backed down or because he regretted it at the last second as had happened in the past. This time it was Ciri's interruption that broke the moment and forced them apart.

“Lambert sent me to help you because he says you're taking too long so- OH! Sorry, sorry!” The girl blushed upon finding them in such a compromising position. She instinctively backed away, ready to run out the same way she had come, but the woman stopped her.

“It’s fine, Ciri! Stay, please. I’m definitely going to need some help cooking enough food to satisfy those gluttons out there.”

“Come on, focus! I know you can do it.” The woman tried to encourage the girl, who was having trouble generating any kind of magical reaction from the moment they had started the lesson.

She didn't know much about magic outside of healing, so that was her starting point. From what Geralt had told her about Ciri, the girl had much more power than she did, so she figured that teaching her to channel her magic in one aspect gave her enough tools to begin to control other aspects of her powers. She began with easy lessons, remembering the things her mentor had taught her when they were just starting out. She had previously told her about the potions she made and the type of plants she needed for each as a way of easing her way into things. But several lessons ago she had moved on to more complicated things that involved more active use of her powers.

They were sitting in the common room, near the fire. It was a cold day, though that hadn't stopped Ciri from going out to train with her wooden sword. Geralt was the one who had to drag her inside to meet the healer for her magic lessons, and she didn't seem very enthusiastic about it. For that very reason she had given the girl a relatively simple exercise, the same one they had been practicing for two lessons. In a pot was a dried plant. Its stems were still green in some places, but much duller, and the leaves were withering more and more with each passing day. The goal they were working towards was to revive the plant, although she would settle for any kind of progress. The woman remembered that the same exercise had taken her quite some time, so she showed patience to Ciri. But on the other hand, the girl was supposed to have much more power than she did, so she was slightly concerned about the lack of response.

Ciri snorted. “I'm trying! It's not easy.” It was clear that she was frustrated but she had to keep pushing if she wanted to get any kind of reaction from her.

“Not hard enough!”

She was not referring to Ciri's efforts in her lessons, it was clear that she gave everything she could. The problem was that she always arrived tired, if she arrived at all. She wasn't giving her magical training the attention it deserved, preferring the sword and the training ground outside to mastering her natural abilities. She understood it to an extent, it was easier to train the body than the mind, but she needed to see how important it was to learn to manage her powers. Those were the ones that would be with her for the rest of her life, the ones that could save her in a situation of extreme danger, and she needed to know how to use them to her advantage.

“You're focusing too much on learning how to fight when this is just as important.”

“Maybe I am because at least that's where I'm making progress.”

“I know it's hard, Ciri, but you have a responsibility. Your powers are something extraordinary, but you owe it to yourself and everybody around you to learn how to control them.” Her voice was not accusatory or dismissive. On the contrary, she made an effort to sound soft and empathetic. She wanted to make the girl understand the importance of her lessons and knew she would not succeed by making her angry. Besides, she knew very well how frustrating it could be when things didn't go as expected, she had gone through that too when she was the one learning to handle her powers.

However, Ciri didn't take it as kindly as she had hoped. “What do you know about responsibility? You abandoned your own people! At least I'm trying to fight to avenge mine!” The girl raised her voice, jumping up from her seat and giving her mentor an angry look.

“Ciri!” Geralt, who was sitting in the corner of the room fixing his armor, wanted to intervene. However, the woman waved him to stand aside. She understood that it was misplaced anger and didn't need him to jump in for her.

“It’s fine. You are right, Ciri. I abandoned my own people because it wasn’t a safe place for me… or anyone like me, if I’m being honest. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make… Realizing that my own home wasn’t safe for me was heartbreaking, but strangely liberating.” The girl's gaze softened and she resumed her place beside her. “I was trapped in that place, surrounded with people that hated me for who I was, for things I couldn’t control. My own parents thought I was a disgrace… they hid me, silence me, broke my spirits in the hopes I wouldn’t become my great grandmother. And for the longest time I let that get into me. I let them define who I was. I hated myself and my powers because everyone else did… and the more I tried to ignore them, the more I tried to suppress them, the worse they got. I had to learn to let go, to stop focusing on the negative things because it was doing me no good.”

Ciri looked at her with glazed eyes, the anger in her expression slowly morphing into sadness. “How do you do it?” her voice was almost a whisper that broke the woman's heart. She could hear so much pain in those simple words that she couldn't help but reach out to entwine her hand with hers. Suddenly, the girl's inner struggle was evident on her face. She could feel the sadness and weariness that overwhelmed her. She had been through so much at such a young age, it wasn't fair. “I can't let it go.”

“You don't have to… you just have to take control of yourself and stop letting your fear and anger control you.”

“How can I do that when everyone I love is dead… when everywhere I go I bring blood and destruction?”

“You make a choice about who you want to be because you are the only one that has the power to do that, to define yourself.” The woman moved a little closer to Ciri, lightly tightening her grip on her hand in support. “You see, magic is extremely connected to our emotions, to our most instinctive reactions. If you see it as a bad thing, as a burden, a curse… if you see yourself as a monster, a murderer that can only create chaos and destruction, then you are letting your fear define who you are. You are limiting your abilities and the chance to explore your potential.”

“How are you so sure that I'm not… a monster?”

A tear rolled down Ciri's cheek and the woman was quick to wipe it away with her thumb. She had to hold back her own tears, focusing on being a support for the girl at that moment. But she would be lying if she said she wasn't able to see herself in the frightened eyes of the young princess. She knew that fear very well, she had experienced it firsthand and that's why she wanted to help her overcome it. It was not fair that she was going through it, no one deserved to go through the horrors she had gone through at such a young age. Ciri was alone, homeless, without family, and forced to discover the terrifying foreign world at the same time she was discovering herself. It was an extremely vulnerable position to be in, but the witch would try her best to accompany her every step of the way. She didn't have to go through it all alone.

“Because nobody is born a monster.” The girl said with gentle simplicity, a sweet smile growing at the corner of her lips. “I grew up ashamed of who I was. My parents dreaded the day I was old enough to take over my kingdom. They couldn't wait to hand me over to the first nobleman who seemed competent enough, so that if one day I became unstable and dangerous because of my powers he could stop me from destroying everything they had worked so hard to build... No matter how hard I tried to make things right, they trusted a stranger more than their own daughter. Most of my childhood was clouded by this dark shadow of sadness and loneliness, until I realized that was exactly what they wanted. They wanted me to be afraid, to be alone and ashamed because then they could control me, mold me into whatever they wanted me to be. Choosing something else... choosing to be happy with who I am, choosing to help others and use my powers for good was a decision I had to make... it's a decision I make every morning when I wake up, and it's not an easy one. The easy thing is to be consumed and paralyzed by fear. Seeing the good in life and in yourself is a conscious decision that you have to make. It is one that only you can make, but I promise to be there for you when you need me. You don't have to be alone in this.”

Ciri threw herself into her mentor's arms and she held her tight against her chest for as long as she needed. She buried one hand in the girl's blonde hair and gently rubbed her back with the other until she could no longer feel her sobs against her shoulder. Her eyes searched Geralt's with a worried expression. Ciri had so much bottled up inside her that suddenly the potential danger of her unexplored and uncontrolled magic ceased to worry her. However, when her eyes met the witcher's she found nothing but calm in them. He admired their embrace with a knowing smile and she knew then that he approved of the way she had handled the situation.

Seeing the way Ciri opened up to her, Geralt was glad he had asked for her help. Swallowing his pride had definitely been the right decision. The girl didn't just need protection. She needed guidance, support and an understanding that he, as much as he wanted to, could not give her. But his sweet sunshine could, she was always open to help whoever came to her door. Geralt knew from the start that he had to take Ciri with her, not just because of her knowledge of magic or her empathic abilities, but because she was the one he always turned to when he needed guidance or a reason to keep fighting. She had a way of brightening people up that was unique. He used to think it was part of her nature, her warm, positive personality that was finally able to shine through once she was out of the prison she used to call home. Although after hearing what she told Ciri, he realized that brightening others and making them feel at peace was an effort she made every day precisely because she knew the dangerously cold and dark depths to which the mind could descend when there was no such support.

“You can rest for now, my dear. It's fine, you have done enough for one day.” The sweet voice of his sunshine brought Geralt out of his thoughts. He watched as she patted Ciri's back as the little girl wiped away her tears.

“No, it’s okay. I want to try it one more time.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, we can continue the lesson tomorrow after you have a good rest.”

Ciri insisted so she stepped aside to let her proceed. The girl took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm her emotions as her mentor had taught her. She raised her hands to the plant that withered with each day she failed and closed her eyes. She tried her best to quiet the voices that always echoed in her mind, the ones that scared her and held her back every time magic was mentioned. She erased the images of Cintra in flames, the figure of the dark knight chasing her and the horrors that followed her every time her powers were activated. She replaced those dark visions with her mentor's words of encouragement, repeating them over and over in her mind as a way of convincing herself that all would be well and that she had nothing to fear.

Then she felt a warmth tickling her fingers and heard the gasp of the woman sitting next to her. She opened her eyes instinctively, concern already written in her expression as she looked around for answers —and to make sure she hadn't hurt anyone. The woman smiled at her and motioned with her head to look at the potted plant resting on the table. The plant itself hadn't changed much. It still looked dry and dull, but the stems were a brighter green and some of the leaves had turned from dark orange to an almost greenish yellow.

“You did it!”

“I did it!” Ciri threw herself into her mentor's arms once again, only this time with a big look of happiness on her lips. When she pulled away, she took the pot in her hands to admire her work more closely. “Geralt, look! I did it! I finally did something!”

Geralt joined in the celebrations, giving Ciri a pat on the back and a few words of encouragement to let her know he was proud of her unbreakable spirit. She fit in so well with the rest of the witchers that he was starting to get a little scared. She was as stubborn and broken as most of them. But she was also as hard working and fierce as they were. He could see a lot of himself reflected in her, in fact. She had the same eagerness to go out and prove herself in the real world that both he and his brothers had when they were just starting their training. That same impatience that Vesemir had fought so hard to quell and that reality had finally destroyed. He had to keep an eye on that.

When the moment of euphoria was over, Geralt sent Ciri to rest. “You have done enough for one day” he told her and this time the girl disappeared up the stairs with a smile on her lips, happy to have proven herself.

“I was nice what you said to her.” Geralt spoke once he was sure Ciri could not hear them.

“I just told her what I wish someone would have told me when I was her age.”

“You never told me about it… what your parents did to you.”

“Well... it's a part of my life I don't like to remember often.” She shrugged, leaning her hips back against the table as she stared at a fixed point on the wall in front of her, lost in thought. Geralt admired her delicate profile, and with a heavy heart he wondered what kind of sad memories might be swirling through her mind at that moment. “Although, in a strange way, it made me who I am today, so I guess something good came out of all that shit in the end.” She also thought that thanks to her parents' mistreatment —and her consequent escape— her path had crossed Geralt's and she would always be grateful for that. However, she decided not to mention it.

“Just when I thought I couldn't love you anymore, I discover that your act of rebellion against the world that treated you horribly is to be the kindest, sweetest person on the continent.” Geralt let out a laugh, returning his attention to his half-repaired armor that had been left forgotten on the table. But she remained silent, frozen in place.

Geralt had not thought carefully before speaking —something that happened to him more often than he would like to admit when he was with her. He didn't even realize the implications of his words until it was too late. He just stated a fact, a simple fact that had been on his mind ever since he had overheard her talking to Ciri: finding out that after all the bad things she had been through she was still the sunshine she was, made him love her even more. Geralt had always known that she was a strong and extremely brave woman, but this was the first time he really knew the extent of that strength. He had seen honest men be consumed by resentment and hatred for far less, so the fact that she strove to be a source of light and positivity not only for herself but for everyone who crossed her path was a reason to admire her.

He was so entranced by her that he didn't notice what he said —what he inadvertently admitted— until a few seconds later, when he wondered at her sudden silence. When he looked up, he found her eyes fixed on him. Those beautiful eyes that normally brought him peace, now put his insides in knots. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Geralt was paralyzed. His mind was completely blank, not knowing what to do or say, as he waited for some sign from his sunshine.

“I-” She started to speak, but before she could say anything else the doors to the hall opened, ushering in a group of noisy witchers who had just come in from hunting for dinner.

After the moment was broken, neither she nor Geralt brought up the subject again. They both thought about it countless times, wondering in the nights before bed what would have happened if they hadn't been interrupted. However, they were too afraid to face the situation, so they let the tension linger in the air, increasing with the growing list of unanswered questions.

Another great thing she had discovered about living in Kaer Morhen was that there was a pack of wolves nearby. The first time she had seen them was one afternoon walking around the fortress with Geralt. He hadn't let her get close, of course, claiming it was too dangerous since they were wild animals. That hadn't stopped her at the time and luckily it had never resulted in any injuries, but one never knew when their luck might change.

“That's why you're here,” she had replied, ”you'll save me if they try to eat me.”

“I don't know, will I?” He had joked in his characteristic dry tone. “If you get hurt after my warnings it is entirely on you.”

She snorted and punched him in the arm, though a smile tugged at her lips. “Of course you will! You can't live without me.” She had said that as a joke, but it was much closer to reality than she probably imagined. He was willing to do anything to keep her safe because he truly couldn't live without her. He had tried for a year and had been miserable every second he was away from her.

After having to drag her away from the wolves that day, Geralt really shouldn't have been surprised to find her playing with them weeks later. He knew her and the effect she tended to have on animals, but even so, he found it impressive the way the wolves reacted to her touch. She was sitting on the cold ground covered by a thin layer of snow. Next to her rested an adult wolf who closed his eyes with pleasure every time she stroked his head. In her lap a puppy let her scratch its belly, stretching out on her with every movement of her fingers as if preparing to take a long nap. In the distance the rest of the pack watched the two brave –or foolish— enough to approach a human, making sure they were safe.

She was speaking to them, Geralt could see in the distance that she was moving her lips, and hear the whisper of her voice on the wind, but he could not make out what she was saying —though he could almost imagine it, he had been through a few similar situations with her in the past. He was lost in thought as he admired her playing with the wild animals like they were mere domesticated dogs. A smile formed on his lips as he thought that at least he wasn't the only one completely enraptured by her aura, the entire animal kingdom joined him in that sentiment. Even his own horse loved her more than him. But he understood Roach, she was someone special and he had been lucky to cross her path.

“I see why you like her.” Vesemir's voice startled him, when had he arrived there? “She is a lovely woman.”

“She is indeed.” Geralt agreed without looking away from his princess, who was now laughing in amusement at something the wolf cub in her lap had done.

“Are you sure you're doing the right thing?” The older witcher spoke again and Geralt's brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and concentration. “Are you sure she is compatible with our way of living... with our life's mission? There's less of us every winter and something big is coming, I know it... I can lose you, wolf.”

Geralt was silent for a moment, contemplating Vesemir's words. The gods knew that he had asked himself that same question multiple times since he had met her. The answer always changed depending on his mood. Sometimes —especially when he spent a lot of time with her in her hut— he was sure that his future was at her side and that nothing could ever keep him away from her. Other times, when the pressures of reality forced him to abandon his fantasies, he recognized that their relationship was complicated at best and impossible at worst. But all that had changed after she was attacked by a Bruxa.

After failing to protect her that time he convinced himself that their relationship should end, not because it was incompatible with his life itself, but because he was too afraid of losing her. The images of that attack had not left his mind in the year he had spent away from her. It plagued his nightmares when he slept and his thoughts when he was awake. He was so horrified at the thought of losing her because he was unable to protect her from danger that he was willing to endure a life of misery just to make sure she was all right. In his experience, missing what could never be was better than mourning the loss of those who were gone and could never come back. So he endured the gray days and sleepless nights, finding comfort in knowing that his princess was safe and sound in her hut, far from the danger he represented.

Geralt had convinced himself that this was for the best because it was the simplest option, the clearest solution to his problem. Keep her safe by staying away from her and wait for the time to pass and help him forget about his feelings. But now he was not so sure. Maybe it was the thrill of being reunited with her after yearning to feel her touch for a year. Or maybe it was the optimism of his sunshine speaking through him, but Geralt was beginning to consider that maybe there was a future for them where neither of them had to suffer. It probably wouldn't be easy, but life's hardships hadn't stopped her before, so why should they stop him?

“We can make it work.” He finally said and for the first time since she had entered his life, Geralt felt a sense of certainty as he spoke those words.

Vesemir didn't answer him, although Geralt didn't give him much time to do so because seconds after those words left his mouth, he was walking towards her. When he approached her, the first thing she did was make excuses for what she was doing, expecting Geralt to scold her for not listening to his warnings. But he wasn't interested in that, he had far more important revelations to share with her.

“I know what you are going to say, it's dangerous and all that, but they came to me for help!” she hurried to say while petting the wolves to make sure Geralt's presence didn't disturb them. “This little one was hurt! I couldn't let him die, he's too adorable and fluffy! I saved his life and now they like me.”

“Do you remember what you told me when I arrived at your home with Ciri?” Geralt ignored her rambling. She looked up from the puppy gently nibbling her fingers to meet his eyes. He wasn't sure if the look of confusion on her face was due to his sudden question or because she didn't know the answer, so he continued speaking. “You wanted to know why it took me so long to come back... I've been thinking a lot about that, especially after hearing you talk to Ciri the other day.”

The woman rose on her feet from the cold ground, leaving the wolf pup next to his brother. “Geralt, what is this about?” she inquired, wide eyes watching him curiously and somewhat warily, like a deer startled by the presence of a noisy stranger.

“All my life, the one I remember at least, I’ve worked towards one goal and one goal alone… kill all monsters on the continent. It’s what I was trained to do and I never questioned it… I never wanted to do anything else, until I met you. What I feel for you…”

Geralt paused, struggling to find the right words to describe the way his day brightened with her mere presence, how his mood improved if he saw her smile.

“I never felt anything like that before,” he let out a sigh, resigned to the fact that he could never explain in simple words what she made him feel without even realizing it. “That scared me. I was scared of what it could mean for the future, but more importantly, I was terrified of losing you. So I convinced myself that running away from you, from what I felt, was the right thing to do to protect you and keep you safe from all the shit I bring along... Now I know I was just protecting myself. You tried to tell me, but I wasn't ready to listen.”

She took a step toward him, looking up at him with wide eyes that sparkled in the weak winter sun. “Geralt, what are you saying?” She needed to hear him say it. After so much time of feelings left unsaid, she needed to hear the words coming out of his mouth so there would be no more conflicts or misunderstandings. She needed to be sure of what he felt.

“I'm saying I'm sorry... I'm saying I love you and I want you at my side, If you still want me too.”

She replied in the most direct way she could without using words. With a quick step, she closed the distance that separated them and joined her lips to Geralt's. As much as she had longed for that kiss, it was a timid one. Her lips barely brushed his, their noses brushing against each other as they leaned in a soft, intimate caress. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the warmth that flooded her body as she felt Geralt reciprocate her kiss immediately. Their lips moved slowly, savoring the moment. It didn't last long, but it was enough to take her breath away.

When they pulled apart, she looked up at Geralt through her eyelashes. She met the amber of his eyes shining in a way she had never seen before. His hand rested on her cheek, calloused fingers caressing the soft skin. It was nothing new, yet the way he was looking at her made her cheeks warm. There was a softness in his eyes that she did not recognize. He admired her as if she were a lost relic, something of priceless value that he couldn't believe he had in front of his eyes.

And in a way, that was true. Even though he had just bared his soul to her. Even though she had kissed him. Even though deep down, he always knew his feelings were reciprocated. Despite everything, Geralt still couldn't believe that a woman as wonderful as her would choose to love him. Of all the people on the continent, of all the places that existed, she loved him and wanted to be by his side. As happy as he was that she did, it didn't feel real. Geralt did not feel worthy of the love of such a good woman, but he was willing to work hard every day of his life so that she would not regret her decision.

Geralt was the one who initiated the second kiss, which was much more confident than the first. His hand remained on her cheek while the other found its place on her waist, holding her close against him. Her lips were soft and warm against his, like a summer morning breeze —just as he had imagined them. When he sucked on her lower lip, she let out the subtlest moan, her hands clinging to his shoulders for support. Geralt became addicted to it instantly, feeling a strange sense of pride at having elicited such a reaction from her. He repeated the action, taking a mental note of the way she reacted to every little movement of his lips. He was desperate to know more about her, to find out the other sounds she made and the various ways her body would respond to his touch, but he restrained himself from deepening the kiss any further. They would have time for that.

“That was...” She tried to speak when they broke apart, her mind clouded with euphoria struggling to find words to describe what that kiss made her feel.

“Late.” Geralt finished for her, resting his forehead on hers.

“I was going to say 'better than I imagined', but 'late' works too.” She let out a chuckle. “So, what now? How do we go on from here?” It was a genuine question she had. She had fantasized many times about this moment —the big confession, the first kiss, the way it would all feel—, but it never got any further. It felt so far away, so impossible, that she had never really spent time thinking beyond happily ever after.

“Well, we can start by getting you out of the cold.” Geralt smiled, finally pulling away from her to start his way back to the fortress. He took her hand and noticed how cold it felt against his own. “Come on, we need to get you inside so you can warm up.”

She smiled playfully. “Only if you help me.”

I hope you guys liked it! Sorry for the long wait, but it wil probably happen again lol

I have a few ideas for the next part. Without spoiling too much, I think it's time Yen makes an appearance to explain some of the gaps it the timeline when Geralt was away... so, lots of jealousy and angst coming!

BUT I'm not 100% sure of how thing are going to play out, so if you guys have any ideas of things you would like to see in the story (for this next part or future ones!) please drop an ask/message/comment thank youuu ily

#geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x fem reader #the witcher x reader #geralt x reader #the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia angst #geralt of rivia fluff #geralt x fem reader #henry cavill x reader #the witcher

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auroralwriting · 5 months ago

Text

covered in the colors

part one

tfatws! bucky barnes x fem!maximoff! reader

he was red, and he liked me because I was blue

word count: 2k | warnings: vaguely follows the mcu timeline, set during tfatws, semi-slow burn, multiple parts, bucky is pining

Being a powered individual in today's society was tough. Being one of the Avengers to take the side of Steve Rogers during the Sokovia Accords was even harder.

It was hard not to envy Clint and Scott, both out on house arrest. You'd kill to have that. Instead, you were country-hopping with your sister, Natasha, Sam, and Steve. Sure, it wasn't so bad, but it wasn't the home you'd been searching for your whole life.

After the blip, being gone for ten years, and helping Wanda adjust to her new life without Vision was the roughest few months you'd experienced since Ultron and Pietro's death. Wanda was nearly robotic for a whole month; it took weeks to crack her. After a few more weeks, she became a whole kidnapper of an entire town, holding them all hostage. That was pretty rough, too. The hardest part, however, was finally putting yourself back out there using your powers.

You'd left that life behind after you came back, after Thanos was gone. Maybe it was time to rebuild who you were as a person rather than who you were with your powers. Even when Wanda took over Westview, you'd managed to scrape by without hardly using your powers.

That all went down the drain the second you saw Sam give up the shield, it now being held to some John Walker guy. You had a gut feeling this would come back to bite you in the ass, somehow. Of course, your intuition was right.

Sam called you in a panic, Bucky had been arrested for missing his therapy session, and he didn't know what to do. So, you were quick to make your way to where Bucky was being held in New York. You lived in the country side, so one very quickly driven car ride and you were there.

The second you burst in, you eyes found Sam immediately. Your pace was quick as you made your way over to him. "Sam," You breathed out as he enveloped you in a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sam replied, giving you a small squeeze. He pulled back, his hands still on your biceps. "I saw what happened in Westview, I'm sorry-"

Your hand came up quickly, halting him from continuing. "It's really okay. It was a whole magic thing, I couldn't see your little birdie wings helping too much, but thank you." Sam rolled his eyes at your comment, but nodded regardless. "Have you seen Bucky?" You asked, sitting in the seat next to his.

Sam shook his head, "No, they won't tell me shit. It's freakin' me out."

It was just then a women, soon to be introduced as Bucky's therapist, walked over. The second she said it wasn't her to bail out Bucky, your heart stopped when you saw John Walker in person.

When Bucky was escorted into the room, his eyes quickly fell on you. He was surprised to see you there. You'd interacted with him a couple of times, and surprisingly, Bucky was fond of you. He remembered asking Steve about you before the fight in Germany. The first time he saw your powers, well that was a whole new story. The way you held yourself, the kindness you had in your heart, despite being experimented on by Hydra, was just perplexing to him. He was just appalled at the person you were, and that isn't even mentioning the fact that you might've just been the prettiest woman he'd ever seen. The first time you saw him was the lasting impression for Bucky. Without any ounce of hesitation, you approached him, hand out for him to shake. You introduced yourself with a soft voice and kind smile to compliment. No one had done that for him in a long time. Seeing you now, after all that had happened, you had this maturity, this grown beauty to you, and Bucky felt himself becoming astounded all over again.

The first thing you thought? Damn, he looked good.

Bucky's therapist quickly pulled Sam and Bucky into a final session, now allowing them to say a word to you until it was over. You found yourself walking outside a few minutes later, tired of waiting. Your long sleeved shirt becoming too thin to keep you warm due to the chill in the air. You saw him, John, and his friend standing by a cop car.

"Maximoff," John called the moment he spotted you, "Come here, let's chat."

You begrudgingly made your way over, dread washing over you. "Walker," You greeted.

"Woah, didn't expect an American accent," John exclaimed. "Sounds good, really natural."

His words led you to stare at him blankly for a moment. "Why'd you bail out Bucky?" You wanted to get straight to the point. Chit-chat with Walker was not something that interested you.

"Look, I don't know what all Wilson told you, but we have super soldier terrorists on our hands." Walker explained, "And we need help taking them out."

Eyebrows raised, you replied, "Take them out? That's your plan?"

Walker nodded, "That's the plan so far,"

"That's the shittiest plan I've ever heard of in my life." You retorted. "Whatever you want with me? I'm with Sam and Bucky."

The look on Walker's face was honestly priceless. "They're going the roundabout way, nothing they're doing is legal."

With a small laugh, you held your hands up. "Are you kidding me? Do you even know me? I literally fought Iron Man against the Sokovia Accords, which no longer exist, by the way. Technically, we still have jurisdiction wherever the Avengers so please."

"You fought Iron Man to, what, become locked up again?" Walker taunted. Of course he would become a man-child when things didn't go his way. "It was probably for a best. You and that devil-sister of yours are nothing but a liability and danger to-" John was cut off with your fist colliding with his cheek. The loud thud of the impact made John's friend whip out a gun, to which you grabbed with your powers, holding it out of his reach.

"Hey," You whipped your head around to see Sam and Bucky making their way over to you. You dropped the gun, the blue of your powers fading into nothing as you cradled your fist in your other hand, stepping to the side as Sam and Bucky stood next to you. "Whatever you said, you probably deserved that."

John massaged the area you punched as he stood up from his kneeling position. "I was just explaining that if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that."

"So what do you got?" Sam rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place." Walker explained.

Walker's friend spoke up, "They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe."

The second the conversation ended, you were the first to turn on your heel and walk away, Bucky and Sam right behind you.

"Well isn't he just a delight?" You remarked, a scoff following. "Is it true? They're super soldiers?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, and they're killing innocent people for their cause."

"Okay, so what do we do now?" You asked, turning around as the two men pasued.

"You saying your getting your ass involved?" Sam asked, a small smirk on his lips.

You sighed, "As much as I loved retirement, there's just too much going on right now to sit idly by."

"Then welcome to the team," Bucky replied sarcastically, but it was companied with a smile. Sam was quick to wrap an arm around your shoulder as the three of you began to walk. "I didn't know you could punch like that." Bucky pointed out.

With a shrug, you answered, "Well, let's just say I'm very rusty with it. I'm gonna get a bruise for sure."

As the three of you walked, Bucky spoke up from a small pause of silence. "Walker doesn’t have any leads..."

Sam gave him a look, "I know where you're going with this, no."

"He knows all of Hydra's secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?" Bucky replied as you gave him a confused look.

"So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?" Sam asked.

Bucky hesitated, "Yes,"

"Okay, then. We’re gonna go see Zemo." Sam replied.

You did a double take at his words, "Baron Zemo?" You asked. "The Sokovian guy who basically set us all up, Baron Zemo?"

"Yeah, that one." Bucky responded. "I know you may not like him, but-"

"No, no!" You cut him off quickly. "This could be good. I'm Sokovian, maybe he'll be lenient if I help."

Sam shrugged, "It isn't a bad idea."

"How are we gonna get there?" You questioned. "We can't just exaclty fly commercial."

"We have a plane," Sam said.

The moment you stepped in, you shook your head, "This isn't a plane, this is a death trap." Bucky chuckled at your words. "Who's flying this thing, anyways?"

Quickly, a young man stepped out. "Oh, hi! I didn't know we were bringing-" His eyes widened at the sight of you. "You- Oh, wow. Hi, I'm such a fan of you."

You gave a small smile, "Thank you..."

"Torres! I'm Torres," The man replied, shaking your hand quickly. "And I'll be your pilot today."

Bucky felt his chest tighten at the boy's words. He quickly stepped next to you, "Funny," Bucky commented as Torres gave a nervous look, stepping back into the cockpit.

"He do that to every Avenger he meets?" You asked Bucky, looking up at him to meet his eyes.

"Just the ones he finds pretty," Bucky chided, his voice a mutter.

You chuckled, "Glad to hear someone thinks that." Your joke didn't fully register to Bucky as he gave you a bewildered look.

"Don't say that, you're beautiful," His gruff voice spoke out.

You took a seat in one of the seats, Bucky taking the space next to you. "My powers are what people think's beautiful, or they're scared of it. Or both."

"Well they're all stupid," Bucky decided, his voice still a mere mutter. "You aren't scary, and your whole being is beautiful, they just don't know you."

The swell of your heart caught your attention at his words. "Thank you," Your voice was a mutter back, the feeling of heat creeping up your neck as Sam walked in.

"Alright, we ready for our flight?" He asked as you both nodded. He sat opposite of you both. "It's late, let's try and get some rest before we land. It's been a hell of a day."

You had to wonder what kind of a day they'd had besides the whole arresting part, but left that thought in the back of your mind. Sam leaned his head back. It was clear he was going to fall asleep really quickly.

"Thank you for coming with us," Bucky remarked as he looked over to you. "This is a shit show we've gotten ourselves into."

A small laugh found its way out of your mouth, "Trust me, I've been through much worse than just some super soldiers and a pretend Captain America."

"I heard about what happened," Bucky commented. "Are you okay?"

No one had yet to ask you that. You paused before answering, "I think I am. Somehow, I think it helped Wanda. And now, we have a rouge Vision flying around somewhere in the world. She's off searching for him as we speak."

Bucky nodded, and you wondered if he'd ask about how Vision is alive again, but with him clearly watching the news, he probably already knew. "You think she'll find him?"

"I do," You confirmed. "Love always finds its way back together."

Your head was leaned back, eyes closed. You missed the longing look in Bucky's eyes as he stared at you. "Yeah, it does."

#bucky barnes #marvel fic #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky #bucky barnes fanfiction #the winter soldier

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catmiemy · 5 months ago

Text

Another Chance to Live Final Part (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana and you are facing some big changes.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

A/N: I'm actually very proud of myself for finishing this story relatively fast. And it was a lot of fun to write :)

Thank you to everyone that stuck around till the end. I hope you enjoy this last part!

Of course you didn’t just trust your parents to respect the boundaries you had set in place; that had never been their strong suit after all. Once you had successfully weathered the first onslaught of emotions, you thought about it more carefully and together with Ana put a few precautions in place.

For one you informed the staff at Real that none of your family members should be granted access if they came by to see you. A wise decision, as it turned out. Only a few days later your mother showed up, arguing for so long that she had to be escorted off the premises by security personnel.

You also basically moved in with Ana. No one from your family knew where she lived, so they couldn’t just drop by like they could at your apartment. Another good call as you learnt when your neighbors told you that they had almost called the police because a man fitting your father’s description had been standing in front of the house for so long.

All of this made your guilt kick into overdrive and you were grateful for your girlfriend’s support. She never told you what to do, she was even hesitant to tell you what she would do in your place, but Ana was always there to listen and help you keep apart what you truly wanted from what you felt you should do.

While things with your family were at an all time low, you were incredibly happy with Ana, and practically living together was a welcome change in pace. Both of you were committed to making each other smile with small gestures, so your everyday life was filled with much more happiness than ever before.

Ana loved to start your day off with a big smile by turning your coffee into a small piece of art, constantly trying out new foam designs. And it didn’t matter if they turned out right or not, you appreciated the effort, and attempting to guess what your girlfriend had been going for was half the fun.

You knew Ana felt the same about something you were doing to brighten her day: learning some Swiss German words. Which wasn’t easy because you couldn’t just use any old translator, you had to invest some time to find the correct words. And often times you failed horribly at pronouncing them, making your girlfriend giggle while she was trying to decipher what you were saying. That in turn always got you laughing as well, which made it even harder to pronounce anything properly.

The biggest laughing fit set off by your Swiss German attempts occurred when you very proudly asked Ana if she could give you a Schmützeli. You didn’t get quite the reaction you hoped for, a kiss; instead your girlfriend was staring at you, and you couldn’t tell if she was amused or annoyed.

“Wait, does it not mean kiss? Did I mess this up? I’m so sorry if I said something offensive,” you apologized frantically, already pulling out your phone to look at your sources again. You had been so sure, you had even double-checked this.

At that point Ana began laughing, so hard that she couldn’t even say anything. Now it was your turn to stare at her, wondering what was so funny. It was a huge relief though; it couldn’t have been anything too bad if your girlfriend found it so amusing.

After a moment you couldn’t help but join the laughter. You didn’t know what you were laughing about, but Ana’s laughter was simply infectious.

Once your girlfriend had calmed down, she explained it to you still a little out of breath, “Okay, so it’s not even really that funny, but Schmützeli isn’t a word you would use with a partner. At least not where I’m from. It’s more for like small kisses between family members or friends. And it just really caught me off guard.”

You silently agreed, this wasn’t really that funny, and you were still a bit confused why it had made your girlfriend laugh so hard. Then again you were always happy to make Ana laugh, so you weren’t going to complain. And you definitely kept using the word again every once in a while because it amused her every time.

There were other things you did for each other, like Ana playing the guitar for you, sometimes even singing a song you requested, which made you all chocked up whenever she did. Or you taking pictures of small beautiful things you saw in your day to day life to show to your girlfriend in the evening, eager to share the beauty you had encountered with her.

You also did your best to make your everyday life as special as possible, savoring the time you got together. A part of this was ensuring that you weren’t just spending time together by being around each other, but also by doing things and actively spending time together whenever your crazy schedules allowed it. And sometimes even if they didn’t, carving out time when you didn’t necessarily have it.

It was a good thing your personal life brought you so much happiness because the same thing couldn’t be said about your work. To be honest thinking of football as merely that, work, was painful enough by itself. Sure, it was, but it also always had been so much more than just a job.

Sometimes you still debated if you should just retire and try to find something else that would spark some sort of passion again. However, at the end of the day you weren’t ready to give up on what had been your life’s biggest passion so far.

So you resigned yourself to this reality, where the joy you once found in football only showed itself on very rare occasions. And whenever it did, you clung to it with ferocity to tie you over until the next minuscule moment.

Then, completely out of the blue, you got an offer from another team. It hadn’t even crossed your mind to look around for another club; leaving Madrid had never been something you considered. It hadn’t been something you thought you would ever want to do.

But when you were approached by the managers of Tigres Femenil, you realized all of the sudden that it might be exactly what you wanted. It helped that it was the team Jenni was playing for, so you knew if you actually decided to go through with this, you wouldn’t be totally alone on another continent.

That wasn’t the appeal though, that was merely a helpful factor. What really made you want to do it was the fact that it would be your choice, only yours and no one else’s, not your family’s and not your club’s. It would be you deciding what to do with your life, instead of rolling with the punches others kept throwing at you.

Was that a good enough reason to move halfway across the world, though? Especially since there was one obvious reason keeping you in Madrid, Ana. The thought of not seeing her daily was hard to bare. Then again it probably wasn’t healthy that she was the only good thing in your life at the moment, that was too much pressure to place on one person. So perhaps it would be better for your relationship in the long run if you decided to do this?

On the other hand, Mexico was a long way from Madrid. Would Ana be okay with doing long distance or would this be the end of your relationship? Because in that case you wouldn’t do it.

As was in your nature you drove yourself crazy thinking about every possible outcome either of your choices could have. You did your best to not let on that something was bothering you, but Ana must have noticed anyway because she began acting a bit odd herself, switching between being weirdly distant and overly clingy.

You had almost reached the point of finally broaching the subject, when your girlfriend took the first step. In the morning before leaving for your respective training sessions, Ana nervously asked if you could talk later that night. Of course you agreed, thinking that she wanted to ask you what had been on your mind lately.

Consequently you spent the entire day agonizing about how you could put your thoughts and feelings into words. You made countless drafts in your mind, even though you knew that you wouldn’t be able to remember them in the moment. At least they made you feel a bit better prepared.

Ana was back at your apartment before you and she set everything up nicely with candles and flowers she had gotten for you. You appreciated how she went out of her way to make sure you knew everything was okay. Every once in a while you still got in your head, worried that your girlfriend would leave you if you made on small mistake.

Once you had both settled down, Ana took a deep breath, blurting out, “There is something I have to tell you.”

This took you by surprise. You had been under the assumption she had set this all up to get you to talk. And you instantly began wondering what your girlfriend had to tell you. Naturally your first thought was that she might break up with. However, even you had to admit that preparing a romantic candle light dinner would be a very strange move if you wanted to break up with someone.

“Oh, what is it? I actually have something I need to tell you as well,” you replied, trying to keep your worries out of your voice.

“Really?” Ana exclaimed in surprise. This in turn surprised you, you didn’t think you had been doing a good job at keeping your over thinking a secret.

“You can go first,” your girlfriend quickly offered.

Normally you wouldn’t have accepted such an offer, especially not when Ana had been the one to set all this up to talk to you about something. However, something in her tone sounded almost pleading, as if she desperately wanted you to go first. And begging from your girlfriend was something you could never resist.

“Well, I’m guess I’m just going to come out and say it,” you started, taking a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever might be Ana’s reaction, “I’ve gotten an offer from another club. And I didn’t think it was something I would be interested in, but now that I have it, I realize that I really am. You know how I feel at Real, so this might be my chance to enjoy football again. But then I also don’t want to leave you alone here because I love you and…”

Ana had been listening to you rattling on for a moment, her face unreadable, until she interrupted you sounding oddly excited, “Wait, you’re thinking about leaving Madrid?”

You frowned at her happiness. It was one thing to be excited about something good happening to your partner, but being so happy about them moving away seemed weird to you, and a little painful.

“Wow, no reason to be so happy about getting rid of me,” you mumbled, avoiding your girlfriend’s eyes.

“What? No!” Ana cried out, reaching over to grab your hand. “That’s not what this is about at all. The thing is that I too have gotten offers from other clubs and I didn’t really consider them, but then a few days ago Atleti told me that they wouldn’t renew my contract, so I have no choice but to leave.”

“And I have been feeling so bad about it because just like you said, I didn’t want to leave you behind here either. But if we’re both leaving, it’s a totally different scenario. Sure, long distance is going to suck, but it won’t be forever and at least this way we hopefully both end up in places where we feel happier than at our current clubs.”

Suddenly Ana’s behavior over the last few days made a lot more sense. You had thought she was acting weird because she had picked up on your distress, but really she had been dealing with something herself. Being dropped by yet another team and faced with having to upend her entire life again.

“Ugh, I didn’t think I could hate Atleti more than I already do! How stupid of them to let you go,” you grumbled.

Your girlfriend blinked a couple of times, a smile appearing on her face, “That’s what you’re focusing on right now?”

“Yeah! I’m really annoyed with them! But also…Why didn’t you tell me?”

It wasn’t something you could really complain about since it was very much exactly what you would have done in Ana’s position. Your girlfriend was much better though, when it came to opening up and discussing her struggles. So the fact that she hadn’t told you before didn’t sit right with you.

Ana sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I made up my mind so many times to just come right out and say it, but every time I lost my courage in the last second. Because at it turns out it’s not so easy to tell your girlfriend who you love very much and who has a hard time at work and with her family that you’re moving to another country.”

“Oh.”

You understood that, it was the thing you had been worried about, that Ana felt too much pressure to bring joy to your life because so little else did. Under different circumstances this might have been harder to swallow, but in the current situation it actually helped. It left not a single doubt in your mind, that leaving Madrid was the right choice.

“So, what are your options?” You asked to move on the conversation.

“There are different clubs in Switzerland I could go to, but I don’t really see myself doing that. It would be nice to be close to my family and maybe I should do it to help further women’s football in Switzerland, but it feels more like something I should do, not something I want, you know?”

You knew precisely what she meant. In fact for so long you had made all decisions based on exactly that feeling of ‘I should’, so you were happy Ana didn’t plan on making the same mistake. And you tried to show her that by nodding encouragingly.

“However, the other option is pretty far away, so I just want you to know that no decision has been made yet, and I really want to know what you think. Because if long distance on that scale is a deal breaker for you, I won’t do it,” your girlfriend continued.

Again you nodded, hung up on the fact that you had been having exactly the same thoughts. So as far as distance went this would either work out well for the two of you or Ana would really end up on the other side of the world. What even was on the other side of Mexico? You cursed yourself for your geography knowledge that was clearly lacking.

“Okay, so, the other option is Tigres Femenil. Jenni’s team in Mexico,” your girlfriend rushed out, her eyes flicking between you and the table, as if Ana was torn between wanting to study every miniscule reaction you might show, while also trying to avoid jus tthat.

“What?”

This had to be a joke! Ana probably learnt about your offer from then and decided to play a prank on you. Maybe Jenni had heard about it and told your girlfriend to do this, that would be a Jenni thing to do.

Except not really, though. Your older friend was known for playing pranks and amusing herself at the expense of others, but there was a clear line that she never crossed. And playing with someone’s heart and feelings was on the “don’t”-side of that line.

“I’m sorry! Like I said I haven’t decided yet and if it’s too far then I’ll go to Switzerland. I’m sure that will be great,” Ana apologized frantically.

“No, wait, that’s not why I reacted like this. The thing is my offer is also from Tigres Femenil, so it just seems a bit unbelievable? People don’t get this lucky in real life,” you explained, disbelief still coloring your tone and set firmly on your face.

“You’re joking right?” Your girlfriend inquired, apparently also having some issues fully accepting this miraculous coincidence as true.

“No, I’m not. They offered me a one year contract with the option for additional years if I like it there and fit well into the team.” Hopefully the added details would make it easier for Ana to believe this was actually happening.

After that the two of you stayed silent for a while, your hearts and minds needed some time to let themselves open up and accept that you were getting much more than you ever hoped for.

You reached that conclusion almost at the same time, huge grins spreading across both of your faces and then there was nothing holding you back anymore. Ana jumped up from her chair first and you swiftly followed suit.

Mere seconds later you basically jumped into your girlfriend’s arms, thinking in the back of your mind that this was exactly how you would celebrate a goal if you would play for the same time. Your heart jumped happily when you realized that you might get a chance to do precisely that next season.

“I’m so happy!” Ana squealed into your ear and you echoed that sentiment.

Moving abroad and playing for another team had sounded excited, but doing so with your girlfriend? That seemed more like a dream than anything else.

Ana and you stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms for a good while, just basking in the happiness. It was a welcome change from the usual reasons you spent so long in each other’s embrace. Normally you did so because one of you, more often than not you, was sad and needed comfort. Now there was not an ounce of sadness present, the air was electrified by excitement and the possibility of everything that was to come.

---

Of course you didn’t decide that night to accept the transfer, not legally at least, but emotionally you definitely did. Still, like the reasonable adults you were, you thought it through, gathered some more information before officially making the choice you had already made the moment you learnt both of you could go to Mexico together.

You called Jenni together to tell her the good news and she was overjoyed. Although if the amount of teasing you had to endure during one measly phone call was anything to go by, you were going to have to put up with a lot next year. You didn’t mind, though. Also you were aware that Ana would put a stop to it if she thought it was getting out of hand. You could as well, Jenni would listen if you seriously told her to stop, but you knew yourself well enough to know that you wouldn’t.

After that Ana and you focused on wrapping up everything in Madrid, sorting out your apartments and such. There was one particular subject you avoided like the plague, your family. You couldn’t leave for Mexico without at least telling them and try one more time, but you also weren’t ready to face them again in the slightest.

Finally you reached a point in time where you could no longer postpone it. Your girlfriend offered multiple times to go with you, but you declined every time, much to Ana’s chagrin. In the end she decided that she would at least drive you and wait for you in a nearby parking lot. You gladly accepted that suggestion.

“And please leave if it gets too much, yeah? Or call me and I will come get you,” Ana reminded you resolutely, still reluctant to let go of your hand.

“Don’t worry, tesoro, I’ll be fine. I don’t think much will come off today, but I just have to try one more time before we leave,” you explained. And it was true; you didn’t have high hopes for your conversation with your family. But even so you ended up being disappointed.

It started with a very frosty greeting, your father leading you into the living room where the rest of your family was sitting. You had chosen that day specifically because you had thought no one else would be over, but apparently you were out of luck. All of your aunts and uncles were assembled, staring at you disapprovingly.

You swallowed roughly, wetting your lips nervously when it became apparent that you would have to lead this conversation. This had been expected, you had even practiced a bit at home with Ana, but now in the moment your mind felt terrifyingly blank. With everyone glaring at you the only thing you could think of was to apologize. And that was the one thing you remembered you didn’t want to do.

“Did you just come here to stare at us?” Your mother questioned unfriendly.

“No, I…This isn’t so easy. You’re making this really hard for me,” you muttered

“We’re making it hard for you? Do you have any idea what you’ve done to us? Just completely cutting us out of your life because of some random girl you met a few months ago,” your mother accused you.

The guilt and self-doubt threatened to consume you, but you tried to focus on your anger instead. At least the anger would allow you to say what needed to be said, even if you couldn’t lay it out as calmly and clearly as you wanted.

“See, this is what I mean. Everything is always my fault and you never listen to what I have to say,” you defended yourself. “And Ana isn’t just some random girl. I can’t stand that you talk like this about someone I love, someone who I’m pretty sure is the love of my life.”

Your family exchanged meaningful glances, the sentiment on their faces clear as day; they thought you were being ridiculous or childish or dramatic. Three adjectives they loved using to describe you.

“You’re getting too emotional again, niña, that has always been your problem. How do you expect us to take you serious like this? And think about this, you say we’re always acting as if you’re the problem, but in reality it’s you doing that. You always blame everything on us, your horrible family. Poor you with parents, aunts and uncles that support you!”

Condescension was something you were used to, and it had always made you feel very tiny and incredibly mad at the same time. You were an adult for crying out loud, not a little kid. And still in that moment you felt exactly like that.

“Fine, you know what, I can see that this is totally pointless! I don’t even know why I thought I should try again. So I’m just going to tell you the one thing you need to know; once this season is over I’ll go to Mexico to play there. So I guess, see you never?” You yelled, turning around and stomping out of your childhood home, without giving your family any chance to reply. What was the point?

Tears were already streaming down your face as you ran down the street to where Ana was waiting. Your girlfriend saw you coming; she had been keeping an eye out for you practically from the moment you had kissed her goodbye.

When she saw you rushing towards her, Ana’s heart broke. She had hoped this would go better, but your demeanor and the fact that you were back so soon told her everything she needed to know.

Ana quickly clambered out of the car to meet you with open arms. You fell into them, allowing yourself a moment to completely lean into your girlfriend and absorb some strength from her. Not too long though, you didn’t want to risk anyone catching up with you.

“Come on, let’s go,” you requested, already moving to the passenger’s side.

The drive home was mostly silent, your girlfriend held your hand whenever she didn’t need both of them to drive, and only asked you in the very beginning if you were ready to talk. You just shook your head in response. First you would have some more crying to do, before you could even hope to use words.

And you did exactly that, once again safely tucked away in your girlfriend’s arms. You couldn’t wait to get to a point in your life where you didn’t need so much comfort anymore.

“How are you feeling?” Ana prompted once she noticed you were ready to talk. She had seen you biting your cheek, contemplating how to start the conversation and decided to help you out with questions.

“I didn’t have much hope to begin with, but apparently I still had some that could be crushed. And also…,” you stopped, uncertain if you should continue. It felt like you kept bringing up the same things; shouldn’t you get over them at some point?

“Also?”

There was nothing but love and concern on your girlfriend’s face. You didn’t have to worry about her judging you, this was a safe space.

“I’m so annoyed with myself. I couldn’t even say much before I ran away. I can just hear them calling me a dramatic little girl who runs away as soon as things get though”, you gritted out.

Ana tensed at your harsh words towards yourself and she forced herself to count to three before answering, not wanting to sound too intense. There was however nothing she could do about the emotions lingering in her voice.

“Please stop listening to their voices in your head. I don’t think removing yourself from a bad situation is running away, that’s a smart move really. You need to take care of yourself.”

You nodded thoughtfully, “You know I’ve been thinking about that and realized I often put their needs and wants over mine. But I guess putting others first only works if they do the same. Otherwise if I always put them first, but they never put me first, I’m just always going to end up last, right? I think that’s what’s been happening all my life and I’m done with it!”

“Absolutely! If anything your parents should be putting you, their child, first. That’s what my mom said when I talked about it with her. She also said some other things, but I’m not sure if you want to hear them or if it’ll just make you sad.”

Ana studied you carefully, every sign of pain embedded in your body hurting her as well. She hated how that you had to deal with this, so the last thing she wanted to do was to add any pain to it.

“No, please, tell me. I think it will be helpful, hearing what an actual good parent thinks about all of this,” you requested.

You had only met Ana’s parents twice before, but they had been everything you wanted your own family to be. They were excited to see their daughter, but expressed that without making her feel guilty for not being around more. And they had welcomed you with open arms, clearly very pleased that Ana had found a special someone to share her life with.

“She also said that nothing makes her happier than seeing us, her kids, living our best life. Not some life my parents pictured for us, but the life we choose. She can’t really understand why so many people try to force their kids to be something they’re not. According to her slowly getting to meet your children’s truest self is one of the biggest joys of them growing up.”

Your eyes filled with tears again causing your girlfriend distress. You had been sitting opposite each other, hands intertwined in between you, but now Ana pulled you into her embrace again.

“See, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” your girlfriend cried out.

You shook your head, “I wanted to hear that, I needed to hear that. It makes me feel less unreasonable and ungrateful.”

Ana gently kissed the top of your head, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “You’re anything but, you’re absolutely amazing.”

The longer you were with your girlfriend and the more she told you things like these, the easier it became to believe them. It wasn’t easy or natural yet, but you found yourself questioning your old beliefs much more often.

You didn’t speak more about it that evening, indulging in some self care instead. However, a few days later you recognized that it was still bothering you. There was no way you would try again, but it also didn’t feel right to shut the door to your family completely.

Surprisingly when you brought it up to Ana, one day after training when you were cuddling on the couch, you practically on top of your girlfriend, she informed you that she had been thinking about that as well.

“How about you set up an email account just for them? This way you can check it every once in a while when you feel up to it, or I can even check it if you prefer. That would allow them to contact you if they have a change of heart, but you aren’t constantly bombarded with unwanted messages.”

A huge weight was lifted from your heart when you heard this suggestion. That was precisely what you wanted, some small gap left open, but nothing that would affect you in your everyday life. The last thing you wanted was to constantly get attacked by hurtful messages.

You placed a few kisses everywhere on your girlfriend’s face, uttering one word between each kiss,”You. Are. The. Best. Girlfriend. In. The. World. And. I. Love. You. So. Much.”

Ana happily accepted your kisses. “So, no second thoughts about moving to Mexico?” She inquired cautiously.

“Not a single one, I’m so excited for it, and I won’t let my family ruin it. Plus it would be the same if I stayed here. If anything being not only in another country, but on another continent might actually be good for me.”

“Good, because I’m very excited about it,” your girlfriend announced with a big smile.

“Me too,” you agreed.

In fact you couldn’t wait to start that adventure with Ana. You had never allowed yourself to be an adventurous person, telling yourself, or really being told by your family, that you were anything but.

However, now you realized that you did have an adventurous streak and it was high time you used it. For too long you had lived the life everyone else wanted you to live, but now you were getting another chance at life, at the life you truly wanted.

You didn't even wait until you moved to Mexico. A few days before leaving, you dragged Ana to a hairdresser, stating that both of you should change up your look to start over fresh.

What you didn't expect though, was for your girlfriend to decide she wanted to color her hair pink. You had thought about something more along the lines of cutting your hair a little shorter.

But then Ana announced with a big grin that she was going pink, and you made a split second decision, telling the hairdresser to whip up some purple hair dye for you.

And that's how the two of your started off your new life, one of you pink haired and the other one purple. You loved the way it looked and couldn't care less when pretty much the first thing out of Jenni's mouth when she picked you up from the airport was, "Where are you two going? A five year old's birthday party?"

"Shut up, Jenni, you're just jealous of us," Ana retorted.

Jenni rolled her eyes, "Maybe, but I get a feeling you're going to help me get over that by annoying me with your lovey-doveyness."

"Absolutely," you agreed, pulling your girlfriend against yourself and kissing her passionately.

"Fine! I'll stop if you stop!" Jenni exclaimed, grabbing one hand from the both of you and marching you towards the exit. "Bienvenida a México, chicas!"

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #ana maria crnogorcevic imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic x reader

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beelzeballing · 1 year ago

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actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

#i was going to do shit today and now look at me.#0:18 at night #laying in bed #writing this shit #i havent even eaten.#christtttt #moogsin'#ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd critical #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #the izcourse #im not tagging any of the other characters cuz i shittalk all of them 😭#listen i love edward hes my babygirl but this season did him DIRTY.

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vampshxde · 4 months ago

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Who's Better?

Izuku loves his chubby wife. Always has. Ever since he saved her, ever since he kept running into her. He's loved her. Now she was his. He couldn't wish for anything better. Might be a 2 part story.

Pro!Izuku x Chubby!Reader ♡

Home alone, like normal, while your husband was at work. Honestly? You watch him on the news whenever he's doing the big jobs. It makes you anxious, seeing him hurt. As if he was about to die at any second. Which he could, but would he? Not when he has a stunning wife at home cuddling her Deku plush. He gets thrown into the big jobs a lot due to him being #1 Hero. However, he always reassured you that he would always end up back home in your arms.

This time, you were watching the news. Your eyes widened as your husband was fighting hard. He was fighting like the whole worlds life is on the line. You were clutching your plush and patting your foot against the floor, quickly paced. Your eyes were wide, and you couldn't look away. Then, a little explosion could be seen from the side. This calmed your nerves. Dynamight. Or well, Katsuki. A good friend of both you and Izuku's. He came spinning in. A large grin on his face as he let off a huge explosion.

The villain was pretty strong but was struggling to keep up with the top two heroes. This ended faster with the help of Dynamight. Izuku never really stays around with Katsuki for questioning. He has a worried wife he has to go see. Immediately. As soon as he got home. He went to see you. He didn't get checked up or anything, still sweaty and dirty from the fight. He just opened his arms. Which you happily ran into.

"IZUKU!.. Are you okay?!"

"Mhm. I wouldn't have come home if I wasn't, _____"

You sighed into his chest. His hands ran along your soft covered plumpness. Kissing your head softly, he sighed. What if he died? What if he could've never seen you again? Even thinking of it drove him insane.

"Can we cuddle?"

You looked up at his question before nodding as you noticed the soft blush on his cheeks. Slipping out of his grasp, you took his hand. Leading him upstairs. Your bedroom door is wide open. Dragging him inside, which he accepted, you crawled into bed, and he followed. Just resting onto your stomach, your hands ran through his curly green hair. He groaned at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. Some of his curls knotted up, which quickly loosened as you ran your fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry for worrying you always, my beautiful wife.." He muttered into your plump stomach.

"It's okay.. I know you wanna save and protect the people who can't.. I love you, Izu."

"I love you too, sunshine.."

It wasn't long before he had absolutely fallen asleep. Tired from his fighting and the feeling of your nails massaging his scalp. You felt bad knowing you'd have to wake him from his nap so you could make dinner soon.

483 Words

#vampshxde #izuku x reader #pro hero #aged up characters #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha izuku #bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha midoriya #mha izuku #mha izuku x reader #mha #mha midoriya

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eff4freddie · 6 months ago

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Touch | Part Eight

You and Ellie grow closer in Joel's absence. Jackson holds its breath for the return of the second expedition.

Words: 6k

Warnings: descriptions of injuries, angst, no smut I'm sorry

A/N: So this is the last big chapter of Touch. I'm planning a smutty epilogue because these two need a proper send off, but the main storyline ends here. Just want to thank you all for your support of this story, which was my first foray into writing fics for a long time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Part Seven | Series Masterlist | Epilogue

You and Ellie fell into a routine of sorts, occupying yourselves while waiting for news. In the morning Ellie would go down to the stables to ‘check the horses’, which you knew was code for her looking to see if Joel had slipped back into Jackson overnight, but he was her dad, and you didn’t begrudge it. You hated when she came back with her shoulders slumped.

Ellie had already decided she didn’t have to go to school given the circumstances, and you had no authority to fight her on it. Occasionally you would mention that Joel probably wouldn’t be pleased when he got back to discover she’d missed classes, and she had been so dismissive of the very idea that it took you right back to eighth grade, trying to hang out with the cool kids and being summarily ignored. You were basically her roommate. Roommates don’t nag each other to do their homework.

You were doing your own maths, anyway. If Marla had ridden through the night with Jacob strapped to her back it meant that the site of the ambush was a two-days ride away at a normal, non-life-threatening pace. It also meant it was a two-day ride back. If they encountered any nastiness on the way there or the way back that could waylay them for a few days, maybe more if there were injuries. And then, of course, there was the infinitely more complicated mathematics of how it would tally if they died. You weren’t sure what you would count, if that happened, if it wasn’t the days until they came back.

You wondered, if none of them made it back, where you would go. You would obviously have to leave Jackson, the destruction you, Ray and Marla wrought on the small community complete at that point. You just weren’t sure where, in which direction. Salt Lake sounded bad, and you were getting tired of the cold. You wondered if you would be able to make it down to the Gulf of Mexico, if you just headed south for as long as you could until you hit ocean. You knew it was unlikely you would be able to do it on your own, and you also knew that you would have to. That at the end of all this it was always going to be you, alone.

It didn’t hurt to think about. You were matter of fact about it. If they didn’t come back, you didn’t deserve to stay. You were pleased with the almost complete detachment you felt at the thought of it. At the freedom.

Maria and Robin dropped by while you were teaching Ellie the muscles of the back and neck, in the hope that she would have some kind of education upon Joel’s maybe-return. She was good at it, too, getting the hang of the Latin despite the language now being even more dead then when you leaned it. When they arrived, Ellie took Robin from Maria and cradled him in her arms, Maria showing her how to support the head while he dozed. For the first time since Ellie had arrived she was still, quiet, over-awed by the tiny, precious life in her arms. You took Maria into the kitchen and poured her some tea.

‘This takes me back,’ she said, and you grinned at her, offering to massage her feet. She demurred. ‘You don’t need to see what I’ve got going on under here,’ she said. ‘I mean, I haven’t seen it for months.’

You knew that Maria was checking on you, and you loved her for it and hated that she had to do it. Robin was only weeks old, barely a month, and yet she was nurturing you. You had barely seen her since the birth, since she had made you feel so necessary, so wanted, and your cheeks burned at the thought of it. The last two friends you had ended up dead or banished. You were just bad at it.

‘Hey,’ Maria said, like she could read your mind. She reached out and put her hand on yours, warm from the tea. ‘It must be weird…no, awful, to be the one left. I can’t imagine.’

You weren’t going to cry in your kitchen with Ellie in the other room holding Maria’s baby. That just wasn’t a thing that could happen. You swallowed hard, heard your jaw click under the strain.

‘I really like Ellie,’ you said, pain blooming from your temple into your eye socket. You consciously stretched your jaw, your hand over your mouth to try and cover it.

‘She’s a good kid, been through a lot,’ Maria agreed.

‘She’s a good distraction,’ you said, and Maria smiled at you.

‘I want you to know you have a place here,’ she said, and you wondered how she always knew the right thing to say, wondered if she could actually hear your thoughts. ‘Tommy…and me, well both of us, Tommy’s worried about you because…not just because of the expedition and the pharmacy and all of that going wrong, he’s worried that…’ Maria gathered herself for a second. ‘He’s worried that you only think of yourself in terms of what you can offer other people.’

You felt the sting of it, the little nerve Maria had unearthed, opened up to the chill of the air. You flinched away from it, but she was still holding your arm, and you realised you hadn’t noticed she hadn’t yet let you go. ‘Listen,’ she said, but kindly, and so you did. ‘When you came here, and we made you stand in front of the town council and basically said you could only stay if you contributed to the community…’

‘I understood that was how it works, of course it does,’ you said, and she raised her hand to shush you. You obeyed, again. She was growing into this mother thing.

‘I realised, we basically told you that all you’re worth to us is what you can do for us. Yes, its important everyone can contribute because that’s how we keep the place running. But I need you to know that’s not your value. I need you to know that.’

It was getting really hard not to cry. You could see her eyes misting over, her mouth in a grim line to bite back the tears. ‘I asked you to help me, to help with Robin, not because I wanted you to do something for me. It was just because…I just like you, is all.’

You didn’t even really think about it, you just grabbed her into your body and held her, and you felt her shaking a little, like she had been so terrified to tell you, and you didn’t want the Gulf of Mexico. You wanted her in your kitchen and Ellie in your loungeroom with Robin. You wanted Tommy chopping wood or storing coal or doing whatever the fuck manly shit needed doing around the place. You wanted Joel standing in his socks at the counter burning the toast and swearing under his breath about it. You wanted what you had always wanted, which was just to belong.

You pulled back from Maria, rubbing furiously at your eyes. She wiped the tears from hers.

‘I like you too,’ Ellie said, from the doorway, and you both startled, which made her jump a little, which jostled Robin, who delivered several pointed arguments about his thoughts on the experience.

‘Fuck, sorry,’ Ellie said, the panic written all over her face. ‘Oh fuck, I said fuck,’ she said, looking at you for help. You looked to Maria, who regarded you both with an amused expression on her face.

‘You two are as bad as each other,’ she said. She took Robin from her, and Ellie settled down at the table. For a second there was just the sound of Robin, grizzling in his mother’s arms.

‘Hey, Maria,’ Ellie said, lifting her hand to point to the muscle at the side of her neck under her ear. ‘Levator scap-yew-lay’ she said. You applauded her; genuinely, warmly, proudly.

You weren’t really ready to emerge from your cocoon, would have stayed hermitty and weird forever, except that Ellie wasn’t having it. For one she couldn’t sit still in the house for days on end, but she was still only fourteen and the idea that something might happen to her because you let her go out while you let yourself rot on the couch was even less palatable than having to be social.

The first time she took you to the mess hall you felt the anxiety at the bottom of your lungs, your sternum feeling like it had shrunk in your chest cavity. You were convinced people were staring, resentful of you and all that you brought with you. You didn’t want them to worry for Ellie, didn’t want them to wonder how you were going to corrupt her, end up with her dead or thrown out of the gates. You wanted to sit at one of the back tables, but Ellie was determined not to make any of it easy on you, and steered you over to the main table, the long one in the middle of the room, where a bunch of townsfolk were already chatting. You joined at the end of the row, feeling how you retracted into yourself, feeling your shoulders round over. Ellie sat opposite you and smiled at you, brightly. You realised she was treating you like some kind of project, a rehabilitate-the-crazy-lady experiment, maybe some kind of pet.

‘This is the soup they had the other week,’ Ellie said, gulping it down so fast you were worried she’d give herself indigestion. ‘The chicken one? Do you remember?’

You had no idea what she was talking about, and you stared at her.

‘I brought it round with half the loaf of bread. The kitchen ladies did not want me to have it. So, I swiped it while they were washing up.’

You felt something heavy roll in your stomach. ‘That was you? You brought the food?’ you asked, and you weren’t sure if – when you were finished being flawed – you were disappointed or relieved.

‘Yeah, didn’t you know?’ she asked, and you shook your head.

‘You didn’t leave a note or anything,’ you explained, feebly.

‘I guess not,’ she conceded.

‘I thought it might have been Tommy,’ you lied, unconvincingly, but Ellie wasn’t paying attention.

‘I mean, you were close. It was Joel’s idea,’ she said, and what you now realised was a full-sized boulder turned again in your gut.

‘It was?’ you squeaked, and she nodded into her nearly empty plate. You pushed your soup around, your mind trying too hard to digest this new information to turn itself to eating.

‘Did he say anything else?’ you asked, but you were interrupted by Tommy bursting into the mess hall, his eyes wide and scanning over the crowd.

‘They’re back!’ he called, and several people immediately rose, hustled for the door.

‘How many?’ someone yelled back, and Tommy nodded, but there was something wrong, something grim on his face that you didn’t want to acknowledge, didn’t want to even consider.

‘All of ‘em,’ he said, but then he faltered, and swallowed hard, and you knew, then, were already getting to your feet. ‘Some of them are in a bad way,’ he said, and he was looking at you and then looking at Ellie, and you were tucking her under your arm as you pulled her towards him at the door.

‘She shouldn’t see,’ he said to you, quietly, and you shook your head at him.

‘Try and fuckin’ stop me,’ she said, before you’d even had a chance to speak. He sighed, but you were past him then, your arm on the door pushing it open for her, shoving her through first.

The infirmary was only three rooms connected by a short corridor, and in times of serious outbreak or multiple injury it was woefully understaffed, under resourced.

There had already been some kind of make-shift triage for the returned residents, two of the men assigned to one room since they only needed looking over and could then be let go, but Dougie told you, pulled both you and Ellie aside to murmur in your ear, that Joel had his own room. The one next to the surgery.

‘Is he dead?’ Ellie asked, and if you didn’t know her as well as you now did you would have mistaken her bluntness for coldness, for desensitisation, but you knew instead that she was steeling herself, that if there was going to be pain she wanted it now, fast and hard, to rip into it with bared teeth.

Dougie shook his head, and you exhaled for maybe the first time, ever, in your life.

‘He’s not in a good way,’ Dougie said, but Ellie was already marching down the hall to see him, and you were already trailing behind her, your head over your shoulder to offer Dougie your whispered, harried thanks.

But you stopped when you got to his door, let Ellie slip through without you, suddenly considering that you could be intruding, that he had no interest in your being there, didn’t even know you’d been caring for his daughter while he was gone, or that she had been caring for you. You didn’t even really know him, weren’t sure how you felt about him, weren’t sure that you wanted to see him bleeding and broken, weren’t sure that you could handle not feeling his touch on yours again, his whispered encouragements as you came undone underneath him, the rise and fall of his chest under your ear as you both fought back sleep to stay awake together for just a little bit more increasingly precious time.

You’d marched down to the infirmary without even thinking about it, and now you were trapped in thinking too much about it, and what if he woke up and was angry at you again, found something else to throw in your face, and had you forgiven him for that or did that not even matter when he had nearly died, did arguments and anger and hurt just become nullified when the other person endangered themselves to protect you and the community you lived in, because that seemed like a dangerous precedent, and-

Ellie wrenched the door open and stared at you, paralysed, three steps away.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ she said, reaching forward and pulling you in. ‘Get the fuck in here.’

It wasn’t like the movies. There wasn’t a beeping machine, a screen counting out his heart rate, his breaths. He had a little tube up his nose feeding him oxygen but he wasn’t in a white gown, wrapped up neat and tidy under a woven blanket. He was lying, still in his boots, crooked on an old, rusted gurney. Your eyes travelled over him, taking stock; the left eye swollen shut, the abrasion to the cheek suggesting a fractured orbital bone, the red and purple swelling across his brow and up to his temple. The blood under his fingernails, the makeshift splint trying and failing to straighten his obviously broken wrist. You stepped forward and opened his shirt, scanning for more injuries across his skin, found a deep gash in his side and countless bruises, something mottled and purple underneath his ribs. Like he’d been kicked while he was on the ground, while he was already down.

You felt a flash of anger, tears spilling over your cheeks. He was out cold, pale and shivering, and you raised your hands to his midsection, felt the wound there, deep and angry and so close to his spleen.

‘We checked him already, he’s not bit,’ Dougie said from the doorway, and you wiped at your face, set your mouth in a line, intended to turn and address him but couldn’t move from Joel. You felt Ellie standing at your shoulder, observing you as you checked him over. ‘He’s going to need half the supplies they brought back with them,’ Dougie said, laughing a little as if this was funny.

‘They got them?’ Ellie asked, and Dougie nodded to her.

‘Some are dangerously expired, but others are just…expired,’ he said. ‘I gave him some of the morphine, even though he was already out.’

‘He has a head injury,’ you pointed to his collar where dried blood was staining the pillow brown. ‘Are you sure that’s safe?’

‘I stitched him up,’ Dougie said, defensive.

‘What if there’s internal…’ and you stopped yourself then, because Ellie was in the room, and her eyes kept swivelling back to Joel, back to his body, back to the blood. ‘The mottling,’ you said, without further explanation, in the hope that Dougie had managed to find that part of the textbook.

‘We don’t have many options, if there is,’ he said, and you felt yourself get woozy.

‘What have you done so far?’ you asked, and Dougie just stared at you for a second, and you were going to throttle him, actually kill him in this place of healing, if he didn’t answer at least one question properly in the next twenty seconds.

‘We can give him a transfusion, keep his blood pressure up.’

‘Tommy,’ Ellie piped up. ‘They’d have the same blood right? They’re brothers.’

You nodded at her, and she ran from the room. In her absence, you turned to Dougie.

‘Tell me,’ you said, simply, and he sighed.

‘It’s a wait and see game,’ he said. ‘If there’s serious internal bleeding we’d need to operate but…’ you looked around the room, observed the notable absence of a sterile field.

‘I can’t,’ you said, and you weren’t totally sure what exactly you were referring to, but that didn’t make it any less true.

Joel stirred in his sleep, just enough for you to swivel around to him, plant yourself down on a chair and grab at his hand.

‘Joel,’ you said, not sure if he could hear you, hoping he could, hoping he wasn’t in any pain and knowing it was impossible that he wouldn’t be. ‘Joel, I have Ellie, and she’s doing so well,’ you said, murmuring into his unresponsive face. ‘I have her, Joel, so you just rest, OK? You just get better.’

You reached up and gently, carefully, put your hand in his hair, rested it over his right temple, seemingly more intact than the left.

‘We just need you to get better, Joel,’ you said. ‘We all do.’

You thought for a second you heard a grunt under the gentle rhythm of his breath. ‘Be OK, baby,’ you said, one hand in his hair and the other gripping his. ‘Just rest, and be OK.’

Tommy’s transfusion raised Joel’s blood pressure, which was good but also indicated that he had lost a lot of blood. Dougie showed you how to check his blood pressure manually with a cuff and a watch, and you kept an eye on it every hour. If it kept dropping, there was likely internal bleeding.

It remained stable through the night.

What had happened out there became clearer as the morning progressed, as the other riders were patched up. The group from Jackson had managed to find the pharmacy, had cleared it out and secured the perimeter, before turning back the way they came.

The remaining raiders, those who had managed to escape their pet clickers, had been tracking Marla’s path back to Jackson. They had seen how well-equipped Marla was, how strong Jacob had been, how well he had been able to muster up a defence. They’d figured that meant they were well fed, well stocked, that there would be somewhere worth pillaging if they could get to it.

They were young but they were clever, probably only just born on outbreak day, and they’d managed to circle the group before Joel had noticed them. He’d shot one of them point blank, rearing his horse back to try and get to the others before they could clock what was happening, but the younger men had been quicker. He’d fallen from his horse, or maybe shoved off, it wasn’t clear in the chaos, and they’d tried to drag him, pulled him by the arms away from the group, stomped on his ribs a few times. He’d fought them the whole way, scoring a couple of gashes to his chest and abdomen in the process. It was only when the dust had settled, when the three raiders were dead and Joel was struggling to mount his horse, seemingly unable to coordinate his limbs, that they noticed the blow to his head. He’d been woozy, then, stumbling over his words, but they’d managed to get him upright on the horse enough to limp back to Jackson. They’d almost made it back when Joel blacked out completely, falling forward into his horse’s neck and not sideways, this small stroke of luck possibly saving him from an even worse fate.

You listened to all of it, this breathless retelling of actual and near death. You could hear, even through the exhaustion and the pain, the awe the second expedition party held for Joel. That he had seen the raiders, maybe heard them, maybe smelt them, that he was so fast on the draw, so accurate with his shot, so quietly deadly. That he had gone down swinging. That he had come back up.

These stories drifting down the hallway to you, to where Joel lay. Your eyes raked over his body, his wrist now properly splinted and bandaged, his wounds sewn up. He drifted in and out of consciousness, aided by the expired morphine, but he tended to come back to the world fighting. The first time he’d nearly knocked Ellie off the end of the bed, had ripped the breathing tube out of his nose so hard he’d permanently bent it, had been wild eyed and terrified and so lethal, so deadly, as you grabbed his face and turned it to yours, told him where he was, told him who he was, while Dougie injected more drugs under his skin. After he had slipped back under, you liked to imagine that before the drugs he had been relieved to see you, that you had eked out a measure of comfort for him, that he knew you were there, that he wanted you to be.

The second time you sent Ellie away. It was late and Joel was finding new and creative ways to swear the infirmary into the ground, and you could sense the worry in her. You reassured her you’d stay with him, that you didn’t need anything to eat, could sleep in the chair by the bed. That she shouldn’t have to see this, that she didn’t need to hurt herself just to keep him close. You would do that for her. You would reach into yourself and carve away a space for him. Keep yourself hollowed out and aching, should he decide to make a home between your ribs.

You had already decided that when he woke properly you would leave him there, go and get Ellie and Tommy. Not intrude on the family. Go and sit in your little kitchen and run your fingertips over the kitchen table, let the wood grain catch on your skin, scrape the cells from you where you had held his hand.

You didn’t expect to sleep, so you startled awake, confused and aching in places you didn’t know you had from the stupid fucking chair, when Joel stirred again. Judging by the darkness it could only have been 3 AM, maybe 4. You steeled yourself for whatever destruction Joel was about to bring down on his own sick bed, lifted his hand in yours to your cheek, rested your face in his palm, hoped the weight and the heat of it would settle him, would ground him. You heard him clear his throat. This time, however, he was just exhausted, just himself.

‘I can go,’ you offered, too quickly considering he was still orienting himself, and you cringed, started to backtrack. ‘You’re in the infirmary,’ you started again, collecting yourself, watching his face for any hint of fear, any hint of anger.

‘Ellie,’ he croaked, his voice dry.

‘She’s staying with me, she’s OK,’ you said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder and then pausing, doubting, dropping it instead to the pillow.

‘Thirsty,’ he grunted.

‘Oh,’ you said, immediately snapping upwards and nearly knocking yourself out on the lamp over the bed. ‘Right, of course.’ Dougie had brought you water and a packet of dry ramen noodles approximately seventeen years past their use-by-date. You poured him a glass, cradling his neck to help him angle himself to drink it. You felt the heat of his skin on your arms as you lifted him. You didn’t think about it. Not at all.

‘Do you hurt anywhere?’ you asked, and he grunted at you. You knew it was a stupid question, and you tried again. ‘Do you want me to get Dou…the doctor, to get you some more drugs?’

‘Not yet,’ he whispered. You leant in close to him so that you could hear, and he fixed you then with a gaze sharper than anyone who had been unconscious for as long as he had should have been able to. ‘Makes me fuzzy and I want to…’ he trailed off, his eyes scanning your face.

‘I didn’t come to you about Marla because I think you’re a killer,’ you said, realised you had been waiting to say it to him, hoping he would wake up so you could finally set him straight. ‘I came to you because I knew you wouldn’t be cruel. I knew you’d do it well. Respect her.’

He lifted an arm as if he was going to cradle your jaw in his hands, but his face shifted into pain the moment he moved. You realised his ribs would be screaming in protest, and you grabbed his arm and forced it back to the mattress. ‘Don’t,’ you said, ‘it’s OK, I’m here.’

Joel turned his eyes to the ceiling, and you could tell that he was hurting. ‘I’m going to get you the drugs, you can’t just lie here like this…’ you said, standing up again. He grabbed your arm to stop you turning away from him, his grip strong, as he kept his eyes on the ceiling.

‘Ask me why,’ he grunted, through gritted teeth.

‘Why what?’ you asked, and saw the way he was bracing against the pain, felt a shot of frustration with yourself for prolonging it with your stupid fucking questions. ‘Why?’ you asked him.

‘Wanted to be a good man for once,’ he said. You sucked in a breath. ‘For Ellie,’ he went on, closing his eyes. ‘For you.’

You could feel something coming loose in you, a snapping of a hinge, the whine of a rusted and long-abandoned cellar door.

‘Joel,’ you said, because there wasn’t much else you could say in that moment, trying so hard to hold down the stirring turmoil in your chest. He held up his hand to stop you, almost waving you away, and you knew it was because it was hurting him to stay awake, hurting him to say it out loud, hurting him to hear you upset and not being able to soothe it for you. So much hurting in this bruised, bloodied body.

‘Let me…the drugs,’ you said, pulling yourself away from him, feeling his fingers grasp for you. ‘I’ll be here when you wake up,’ you reassured him, his eyes closed and his jaw tight. ‘I’ll be here,’ you said again, saw him nod, took the permission to finally, finally relieve him.

You weren’t there.

Couldn’t bring yourself to be, unnerved by the way his gaze snapped to yours, the way he had grasped for you, the way you felt the fracture of something vital, something that had kept you alive all these years. You sent Ellie in first thing in the morning, told her that he was calmer overnight and that you needed a proper sleep, set yourself up on the couch and tried not to think about it, tried to close your eyes and let sleep take you, felt it abandon you like you’d just done Joel.

You figured he wouldn’t remember it, what you had promised him, what he had said. The morphine would wash it away, would cleanse it from him. You would need to carry it, feel it sloshing around against your legs as you walked, but you were OK with that so long as it was only yours.

You busied yourself, cleaned up a little around the house because living with an un-housebroken teenager was a challenge in itself, went to the mess hall and bartered for a loaf of bread and a parcel of butter no bigger than a quarter, wrapped up in grease paper. That butter was going to cost you two massages but you knew Ellie preferred it, that without it there was so little flavour you could offer her.

You thought about going to Maria’s, thought about lifting Robin’s forehead to your lips and feeling his gentle, simple warmth thaw you out. But you worried Tommy would be there, that he would ask you why you weren’t with Joel, that he would ask you why had been, why you’d spent nearly three days at his bedside only to abandon him the second he was vaguely aware you were there.

You didn’t know how to explain. You couldn’t even get it straight in your own head. You wanted to cower from it, the strength of it, the weight. You took the back way back to your house, hoped you would slip out of everyone’s mind if you stayed out of sight.

Tommy was on your doorstep when you got there. Of course he was.

‘He’s askin’ for ya,’ he said, simply. You felt your shoulders drop, the defeat ripping up your spine, and you shrugged at him, your bottom lip wobbling.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ you said, simply, the six words that could kill you in an apocalypse. Tommy didn’t pretend not to understand. He took the packages from your arms, left you standing on the porch while he went inside and set them down. Came back out carrying a warm jacket for you and a cushion from the couch.

‘That damn ‘firmary chair is awful,’ he said, and you gave him a watery smile. ‘He’s askin’ for ya, so that’s what we’ll do,’ he said. You nodded at him. He took your elbow, led you down into the town.

‘It’ll be Spring soon,’ he said, making conversation, as you sniffed into the midday cold. ‘Jackson’s so beautiful in Spring, the wildflowers, the new leaves on the trees. You’ll love it.’

You nodded again, barely listening, wondering if you would ever be able to form actual sentences again. ‘S’new life,’ Tommy went on, ‘everything feels new. Like comin’ out of somethin’. Like a crack under the door where the light gets in.’

‘I don’t know if I can do this,’ you said.

‘Which part?’

‘All of it,’ you answered, sweeping your arms in front of you.

‘Well, you gotta do somethin’, so it might as well be this,’ Tommy said. It occurred to you that Maria’s ability to drop truth bombs at exactly the right moment was rubbing off on Tommy. You’d need to have a word to her about it.

Tommy led you into the infirmary, as if you didn’t have the place mapped like the back of your hand at that point, and down towards Joel’s room. He stopped at the door, and you realised he’d come as far as he was going to go. You looked at him, hoping for some final wisdom that might push you over the line.

‘What if he’s mad at me?’ you asked, feeble and weak.

‘He’s askin’ for ya,’ Tommy said, one last time, and you finally understood. You felt prickling heat at the back of your eyes, but Tommy had the good grace not to mention it, not to try to comfort or soothe, knew that it would make it worse somehow, bring it too close. With a shaky hand, you pushed open the door.

Joel was propped up, awake and gazing out the window at the street. He turned to you as you walked in, and your breath left you. The swelling around his eye had gone down, he was already looking less purple and bloodied than the night before, was more alert, was more him. You paused in the doorway, took him in as he waited for you.

‘Hi’, you said, barely above a whisper. You were gripping your hands in front of you, shivering in the doorway. You waited for him to yell, to thrash, to chew you out for leaving him to wake up alone and in pain.

You didn’t expect his eyes to mist over, for his bottom lip to tremble. For him to be soft, for him to need you.

‘C’mere,’ he said, lifting his good arm up to beckon you, and you fell into the four steps to him, launched yourself at his bed, gripped him by the waist and lay your head on his good shoulder, ignored his sharp intake of breath as you jostled him. You felt the tears spill over, your face tucked into his elbow while he ran his hands through your hair, and he held you as you sobbed into him.

This time, you knew it was for all of them. For the entire balance sheet, for the grand tally. For your parents, for Marla and for Ray, for Maria who so very much reminded you of your sister, for nearly losing Joel, for Ellie tucked up in your bed pretending she wasn’t counting the seconds until his return. For the love you held for all of them, your collection of losses and grief, for the realisation that all this time you hadn’t been feeling the absence of love but the presence of it, its full force, that it hadn’t gone anywhere, that so long as the love stayed so did they, in just enough of a way to sustain you.

‘M’sorry,’ you muttered after a while, trying to pull back. He held you firm to him, his chin on the top of your head.

‘Scared ya, I guess,’ he said, and you could only nod.

‘There’s so much that scares me,’ you whimpered, and he grunted his agreement.

‘M’scared too,’ he said. You raised your head to look at him, to understand, and he gazed down at you. ‘This is somethin’. Right?’ he asked, his voice giving out on the question.

‘Think so,’ you said. He smiled, warmly, down at you, lifted a hand to rub at his face.

‘We did it arse-backwards,’ he said, and you waited for him to explain. ‘Haven’t even dated ya, and here we are clingin’ to each other like…’ He trailed off, and you weren’t sure how you wanted him to finish that sentence, were sure you just wanted to continue to rest your head on his chest while he spoke, wanted to hear the timbre of it, feel the resonance.

‘Like it’s the end of the world?’ you finished for him, eventually. He chuckled.

The two of you fell into a silence, a warm one, a silence filled with all the words you were going to get to say to each other, when the time was right.

‘Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?’ you asked, after a long while.

‘Don’t need you to do anythin’ more than you already have. Just be patient with me, baby. S’been a long time since I felt this’ he said.

You reached over and took his hand from where it rested on his belly, turned his fingers over in the grey light from the window, examined the cracks, the swelling, the cuts. You lifted a knuckle to your lips, tasted the copper across your tongue, the tang of it, the life under his skin.

Gently, so gently, you held him there, felt his pulse against your skin, felt his body give, the tension in his muscles unspool. Heard his breathing slow, his other arm gripping tight around you. You let your eyes drift close, not having to see him to know that he was right there, in this moment with you. That he was with you, that this was the two of you.

That you had his touch. That he had yours.

Taglist:

@orcasoul

@archofimagine

@hiroikegawa

@ilovejoel-andjavi

@giggly-otter

@harrysrosetatto

@Hjzghi-blog

@daddy-dins-girl

@kathaaaaaaa

@anoverwhelmingdin

@pedropascalsbbg

#joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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delulu-with-wandanat · 1 year ago

Text

International Affairs | Last Part

Reader Description: Masculine style, They/He, AFAB, International Student, 20 Years Old. Sometimes will be describe using masculine terms (man, boy, handsome, etc)

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x InternationalStudent!Reader

Warnings 18+: Specified age gap (Wanda is 34), cheating.

Words: 5,077

Summary: Y/n and Wanda unexpectedly meet at the local fair being held in Westview. Wanda reveals her true feelings, and a third party gets involved

Did I really have to be that stupid? Y/n thought to themselves.

It has been 2 weeks since they confessed their love, from then on the two haven't interacted with one another. Albeit it was Wanda's request, but Y/n had also been avoiding her. Nevertheless, the woman still plagues their mind. Her smile, her personality, her sweet and caring demeanor, Y/n missed her dearly. It's such a shame that the feeling wasn't mutual, as Wanda was still very much in love with her husband.

"I get that you got rejected, but come on man..." Kate said as she returned to his side now holding an ice cream, Y/n rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Shut it, Bishop."

"Plenty of hot girls in NYU too y'know." Kate paused for a second, "And professors." Y/n snorted at that.

"You mean like Professor Belova?" Y/n teased her, Kate's face turned bright tomato. She playfully shoved them. The two friends stayed silent, just enjoying the atmosphere at the fair. Watching people playing games, trying to win a prize for their date. Families enjoying their time together, kids trying to drag their parents to the ferris wheel.

It was nice. Y/n glanced at Kate who was enjoying their ice cream, "Can I have some of that?"

Kate narrowed her eyes, "Get your own!"

"Bitch- I'm gonna tell Mrs. Vostokoff that you got the hots for her daughter."

Kate's eyes widen at their statement, "Professor Belova is her daughter?"

"Apparently! I'll tell you about it later, I'm gonna go buy some food." They walked around the fair to find whatever food they are craving at the moment. Y/n wondered if maybe Wanda was also at the fair, Westview is a small town, surely it would be easy to spot her. However, he didn't know if seeing her would be a blessing or a curse. As much as Y/n misses her, she made it clear she didn't want any interaction between the two of them.

Y/n continued to walk around, they spot a food stall that caught their eyes. Classic American hotdogs doesn't sound so bad, they thought. He approached the stall but accidently bumped into a small figure.

"Oh, sorry mister!" The child apologized. Y/n looked down and was surprised to see the little boy.

Damn he's basically a carbon copy of her, "Tommy?"

Tommy's eyes widens in relief, "Y/n!" the boy then hugged him tightly. Y/n had met Wanda's kids before, during the time Wanda was still hiring him he would teach them guitar, baseball lessons, even babysitting them at times. Therefore, the boys had formed a strong bond with Y/n.

"Hey buddy!" They hugged the boy back. They glanced around hoping to see Wanda, but she was nowhere to be seen. "Where's your mom?"

"I- I can't find her. Can you help me look for her?" Tommy asked with teary eyes, no wonder he was so happy to find someone he was familiar with.

"It's alright bud, I'll help you find her." Y/n gave them a pat on the shoulder. "Come on, now you hold on tight alright?" He said as he held Tommy's hand to ensure he doesn't lose him. Tommy nodded his head, he trusted Y/n. The two then went on to search for Wanda after Y/n sent Kate a quick text explaining the situation.

He merely got a, "I've read this story before ;))" from Kate. Whatever the hell she means.

Meanwhile, somewhere at the fair, Wanda was pacing back and forth frustratingly. "How could you lost him?!" She asked her husband.

Vision looked up from his phone, he doesn't seem concerned that one of his sons is lost. "I thought he was behind me."

"You were supposed to watch over them. Vision, for fuck sake get off the phone!" He sighed and reluctantly put away his phone. "Where did you lost him?"

"I don't know-"

"YOU don't know?!" Un-fucking-believable.

"Wanda, I told you, I received a text from work-"

"I don't want your bullshit excuse!" The two continues to argue while their other son, Billy, sits on the bench looking around for his brother. The poor boy had to deal having his parents constantly fight, on top of that, watch how neglectful his own father was being.

Billy loves his dad, but at times it feels like he was just some stranger to him. Billy tried not to focus on their conversation and instead observes the people around him. Suddenly, his mother approached him with a frustrated look. She tried to muster up a smile for him, "Come on, honey. Let's look for your brother."

He glanced at his dad who was now talking on the phone, "Is dad not coming with us?"

"He..." She was unsure of what to say, "He has some business to take care of, but don't worry! He'll join us soon enough."

"But we have to find Tommy together!" Before Wanda could respond the boy approached his father, tugging on his shirt to catch his attention. "Dad, dad!"

Vision looked down at his son, "Sorry buddy, I'm on the phone."

"Dad come onn! We have to find Tommy." The young boy pleaded, wanting to spend more time with his father.

"Billy, I'll join you and your mother in a second alright-"

"But Dad-"

"BILLY I said not now!" Vision raised his voice, Wanda's heart broke at the sight of her son's excitement dropping. She immediately went to held his hand.

"Come on, Billy." She said with a gentle smile. Billy looked away from his father, visibly disappointed. Wanda gave Vision a look of disdain. "Don't bother coming home." She snarled at Vision at a volume only he could hear.

Before Vision could respond, Wanda turned to walk away with Billy. Seems like Vision couldn't care less, as he continued to talk on the phone.

On the other side, Y/n and Tommy searched tirelessly for Wanda. Y/n glanced at the little boy, surely enough he looked like he was about to cry. Y/n stopped their track and bent down to his level. "We'll find your mother, Tommy. I'll make sure of that." He said with a soft smile.

The boy nodded with teary eyes, Y/n glanced around and saw a game stand where you throw a baseball to knock down a bunch of bottles. He guided the little boy to the game stand and pulled out some money, "One throw says we'll find your mother AND win a prize, how's that?" They asked Tommy, trying to cheer him up.

"One throw? But you get 3 chances?"

"One chance is all I need bud." Y/n said confidently. Tommy's face lights up.

"If you fail you treat us all food!"

"Challenge accepted." Y/n grabbed the ball and focused on his target, come on Y/n don't let him down. And then they throw.

CLANG!

All 6 bottles falls down, the two boys whooped in excitement. Y/n gave Tommy a high five. "Impressive throw." The girl who's guarding the game stall complimented him. "Is he your son?"

"Nah, I'm just... babysitting." Y/n lied. The girl seems relieved to hear that.

She handed him the prize, "One more and I'll give you my number?" She asked him with a flirtatious smile, ok she's kinda cute.

Y/n smirked, "Put in another plushie and your number, I'm down." The girl gave him another ball.

"Do your thing, tiger."

Tommy observed the two's interaction and can't help but giggled. He pulled down Y/n to whisper, "I think she has a crush on you."

"Really?!" Y/n asked, pretending to be oblivious. Tommy nods excitingly. "I guess I'm going to have to impress her." Y/n took their position again... then they throw.

CLANG!

All bottles falls down again, the boys fist pumped the air. The girl gave them another plushie and a piece of paper. "When you're done babysitting, come find me." She gave them a wink, Y/n smirked.

"Maybe I will..." He quickly glanced at the paper, it had her number and name written on it. "Cassie."

Y/n took both of the plushie and gave it to Tommy, "Here, for you and your brother."

"Awesome!!!" He exclaimed.

"Now let's look for your mom again." Tommy held Y/n's hand again, but it didn't take long until Tommy was slowing down because of tiredness. "You tired buddy?"

"Yeah..."

Y/n then bent his knees, "Get on my back, you'll be my eyes up there." Tommy excitedly followed his instruction, when Y/n stood up on his feet again the boy couldn't help but laughed excitedly.

"I could see the world from up here!" He said dramatically.

Y/n laughs at Tommy's statement, "Alright captain! Tell me what you see." They continued to walk around the fair with Tommy on his shoulders being his eyes on the crowd. After a few minutes of walking, Tommy tapped his hair rather excitedly.

"I see them! I see them!" He pointed in their direction. "MOM!!!" He waved his hand, trying to get her attention.

Wanda noticed her son, considering he was getting a piggy back ride, it was easy to notice him. "Tommy!" She quickly dragged Billy with her, she hadn't noticed Y/n due to the crowd.

Tommy was too excited, Y/n had to put him down from their back. Tommy was quick to dragged them with him. "Come on Y/n!"

Fuck this is nerve wrecking, Y/n wasn't sure how Wanda would react seeing them again.

After running through the crowds, the family was finally reunited. Wanda immediately hugged her other son, "Oh thank god!" Wanda pulled back to look at him with concerns. "Are you ok?? Did anyone hurt you? Did a stranger tried to talk to you?"

"I'm ok mom. I was with Y/n!" Tommy said, pointing at the figure behind him.

Wanda inhaled sharply at the name, there he was. Y/n gave her a shy wave. They were the one who found Tommy, and took care of him, making sure he found his way back to his mother. Wanda stood up, before Y/n could say anything, Wanda hugged him tightly.

"Thank you..." She said, Y/n hesitantly hug her back.

"No worries." The two pulled back and stood awkwardly, "Well I guess I should-"

"And mom, mom! Look what he got me and Billy." Tommy showed her the plushie they had won earlier. Wanda glanced at Y/n, waiting for an explanation.

"We were looking for you, and he seemed sad so we played a quick game." Y/n explained.

This young man, whom she had an affair with, seemed to cared more about her children than her actual husband. "That's very kind of you, Y/n."

"Can he come with us??" Billy asked excitedly, the boy was bouncing on his feet.

"I-"

"Yeah mom! He can win us more prizes!" Tommy added.

"Oh so I'm just invited to this outing because you guys want more toys huh?" Y/n asked playfully with their arms crossed.

"NO!" The twins said simultaneously while glancing at one another.

Y/n snickered at the boys, Wanda gazed at him for a second. They were better at interacting with her boys than Vision ever did, well you saw how he was. "It's family time boys, I don't want to intrude."

"But Y/n IS family! Right mom?!" Tommy asked, Wanda glanced at her sons again. The two seems eager to have Y/n join them, and deep down, Wanda wants him to join too.

"Y/n... Would you like to join us? I don't mind." She said kindly with a smile, fuck that damn smile again. Y/n couldn't say no to that.

"Well alright then!"

The boys cheered in unison and was quick to drag him by the hand, "Boys slow down!" Wanda said with a laugh, seeing how excited her boys are made her happy.

Y/n sent Kate a quick message, telling her that he'll be joining Wanda and the boys instead.

To which our dear Kate respond with, "Damn, use protection-" we love a supportive friend.

The four of them played a bunch of different games, mostly the ones that would get them prizes. Y/n being the athletic person that they are, manages to win them all. Wanda mostly watched, albeit, she was mostly watching them.

Wanda tried not to, but the young man decided to take off their jacket at one of those hammer games to reveal their sleeveless shirt. And holyshit did she missed those strong toned arms. Honestly, it made her mind wander to their previous escapades.

"I could feel you staring." Y/n teased her as they continued walking, keeping his voice low just for the two of them.

"It's hard not too. If I'm being honest, I think you're doing it on purpose."

"And if I am?"

Wanda lets her eyes roamed their body shamelessly, "You won't hear any complaints from me." she said with a smirk.

It's like as if the conversation from their previous night never happened. The four kept walking, honestly, Wanda had a much better time with Y/n than with her husband who was constantly on his phone. Y/n was also very attentive towards her kids, like when Billy asked for a piggy back ride because his brother got one. The sight made her heart melt. Perhaps if time was on their side, they would've been a wonderful family...

But they could, couldn't they? Exactly what was stopping her?

Y/n had confessed their love, and at this moment, Wanda... maybe felt the same???

She was conflicted. But after seeing how neglectful Vision was, how dismissive he is to his own son. She knew he wasn't the man she would want for the rest of her life. But is she truly ready to let another into her heart so quickly?

They're sitting right there? What are you waiting for?!

"Wanda." Y/n's voice snapped her out of her thought. She glanced at them and was greeted with a gentle smile. The four of them decided to sit on the bench, exploring the fair was quite tiring so they decided to get some food. "It's getting late, I think they're getting pretty tired."

Surely enough her boys looked sleepy, she checked the time and to her surprise it was already 9.45. "Right. Come on boys, let's get home." They twins gathered their last energy and stood up from their seat. They walked to the car and Y/n accepted Wanda's offer to ride back, considering Wanda's house was near Mrs. Vostokoff's, he only needed to walk a few blocks. However, before he could get into the car, a girl called out him.

"Hey! I didn't think I'd catch you here." The girl on the baseball stall, Cassie, smiled at him.

"Cassie! Hey, yea I was just about to head back." Y/n chuckles.

"Already? I didn't even get your name." Her tone was rather flirty, Wanda did not like this one bit.

"Y/n." Wanda called to him, she tried to hide it. But Y/n could tell there was some undertone in it.

"That's my name." He kept his gaze on the girl.

"You have my number. See you round..." She said, leaning her body closer slightly in a flirtatious manner. Once she was out of sight, Y/n smirked to himself and got into the car.

They looked over to the side and to their surprise, Wanda was clenching her jaw. Is she ok? Wanda started the car and drove out of the parking lot. They stayed quite for a few minutes until Wanda broke the silence.

"Who's that?"

"Just... some girl from one of the game stand."

Wanda hummed, "She seems very smitten of you."

"I mean... yeah I guess? I don't wanna be too cocky." They chuckled. In their mind, Wanda had no feelings for them whatsoever. So to them the whole flirty banter was all platonic, like maybe that's just the nature of their friendship.

However to Wanda, who was now settling with her feelings, felt betrayed. All that banter and moments they shared a few minutes ago was nothing to him? The ride to her house was rather quick, she parked the car on the driveway and wasted to time to get out. Ok... she seems pissed?

He got out of the car as well, moving onto the back seat to grab the twins who were sleeping soundly. "Leave the toys, we can get them later." Wanda instructed, they nod and picked up Tommy. They followed Wanda to the twins bedroom on the second floor.

Wanda was already tucking Billy on his bed, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead. He could hear a soft whisper, "Good night, Billy." he smiled at that.

They gently did the same with Tommy, tucking him in, opting to softly pat his shoulders instead. "G'night buddy."

The sight was perfect, like two parents tucking their kids to sleep. Wanda realizes she never shared this moment anymore with Vision, here she is sharing it with a guy she just met during the summers. The two walked out of the twins bedroom and made their way back to the living room. They locked eyes with each other, the atmosphere between them was rather tense. As memories of their last meeting came flooding back, the rejected confession, Wanda's hurtful words, Y/n's broken heart. It was weird how they wind up back where they left off.

"Well uh... that was quite the coincidence, but it was nice seeing you again." Y/n said, trying to break the tension.

"Likewise." Wanda looked down at her feet.

Wanda was distant once again, well, I guess there really is no chance. Maybe Y/n was just hoping for too much. Hoping for something that would never happen.

Again.

"I'll see myself out, enjoy your night, Wanda." He said kindly with that smile of his. Don't make the same mistake.

They turn to leave. Now. Y/n slowly walks to the front door. For fuck sake-

"Y/n, wait!" Oh thank christ-

"Yes?" They turned to face her. But Wanda's words got stuck in her throat. What did she even wanted to say? Did she truly loved them? She certainly don't want to be Vision anymore, but are they really the one? She only knows Y/n for a few months. How will she know if Y/n won't just end up the same as Vision.

"I-" Fuck why couldn't she say anything?

So Y/n decided to speak up first, "I had a fun night, if you still want to keep our distance I'll gladly accept that. But I do want to say, I'm glad this time we ended on better terms." He said kindly.

"Yes... I'm- uh..." Just fucking say it Wanda.

Y/n waited patiently for her to speak whatever she wanted to say. But for some reason she couldn't utter a single word, "You don't have to say anything. Goodby-"

His sentence was cut off by her lips. She gently cupped his face, getting on her tiptoes slightly. Y/n was shock, beyond shock. What is happening? Is this another one time thing? Did she liked them back? Their mind was going for a million miles an hour.

If Wanda couldn't pour out her feelings in words, she might as well pour it out through her actions. She loved him by cupping his face gently. She missed them dearly by the way she pressed their lips rather harshly. Her body yearned him by the way she lets him pulled her closer by the waist.

They pulled back breathlessly, gazing deeply into each other's eyes. "Wanda?"

"Y/n I-" She shook the last bit of hesitation, "I- I don't know how I feel about you, but what I know is I missed you dearly. The thought of not having you in my life, it- it makes me feel sad. I regret my words, everything I said to you. You're... not just a plaything, you're everything. You are everything and more to me."

Y/n's heart started beating rapidly. They had a hard time believing her words.

"I know I hurt you, and you have every rights to walk out of that door right now. But-"

"Then why did you say those things?" Y/n asked sadly.

"This is not an excuse for me to be a bitch, but truth to be told I think I was just... afraid. Y/n I'm a married woman falling in love with a 20 year old man. I have two sons and a husband. Even if, now that I think of it, the only thing holding Vision and I together is merely our marriage. Everything is just so complicated." She started rambling. But one word that caught their ear the most, was love.

Y/n inhaled sharply, they were at lost for words.

"When you talked to that girl, I realized, I didn't want to see you with another. I just wanted you to be mine, mine only." Her hand was still cupping his face, she rest their foreheads together. "If you had been just a casual fling, I wouldn't care so much. Yet that's not the truth. Because the truth is the thought of you with someone else makes me sick."

"Wanda-"

"I know it's not fair. It's not fair at all, to want to keep you to myself when I'm still conflicted with my own feelings. But- Hmpf!" Her rambling this time was cutoff by a kiss, god how much she missed to lips.

Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling them even closer. The kiss was... different. Rather than lust, it was full of love. A new found love that they now shared with one another. After a few seconds they pulled away from each other, yet still holding each other close.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear that." Y/n said with a smile, eyes glistening slightly. Wanda couldn't help but to let out a soft laugh before pulling them into another kiss.

"There's still so many things I need to hash out. But if you'll have me... would you be willing to wait?" Wanda said against his lips.

"I would wait for you until hell freezes over. Take all the time you need." Y/n responded genuinely. Wanda felt her heart blossomed, is this what it feels like to be properly loved? To have someone love you just as much as you loved them?

Perhaps it is. The love she yearned for. One that her husband couldn't provide, one that was lost over the years of marriage. Something tells her it'll be different with them. That it would be a start of a wonderful thing for years to come.

If only the universe is on their side.

The front door flew open, and the two of them pulled away immediately. Shit.

"Wanda, have you found him? I'll go to the police station tom-" Vision stopped his sentence as soon as he saw Y/n. Wanda is scared shitless. They both are.

Fuck.

"Who are you?" The venom in his voice was very noticable.

"I'm-" Fuck what do I say?

"Vision..." Wanda started.

"Is this what you've been doing behind my back?"

"Just- Vis, please-"

"After everything I've done for you, Wanda!" He yelled. Vision approached her with an angry look, Wanda took a step back. "I bet you had so much fun being fucked like the whore you are didn't you?"

Wanda was surprised to hear her husband speaking to her like that. But if we're being completely honest, she wasn't completely innocent either.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Y/n spoke up.

Vision whipped his head in their direction, "And you" he snarled. He then walked closer to Y/n as if sizing him up. "What makes you think you could sleep with a married woman?"

Y/n gulped, yes their whole relationship was messed up. Y/n knew damn well that she was married, yet he still continued to pursue her.

"What you don't have a fucking mouth?" Vision shoved him. Y/n stayed quiet, not wanting to escalate the situation. "Not so fucking tough now, are you?!" They clenched their jaw.

"Vision, leave him alone." To their surprise, Wanda spoke up for them. This moment required caution, but to be honest Y/n felt their heart swell at Wanda's defense.

"What?" Vision narrowed his eyes at her who was now standing on the side between the two of them.

"It's late, and you should leave. I specifically asked you not to come home tonight."

Vision let out a sarcastic laugh. "You're defending him?"

Wanda sighed, their marriage was complicated. But at this point there was no love between them. She had her heart for someone else, and Vision doesn't even care about his family. "You and I both know we're only together for the sake of our kids. Let's not pretend there's anything between us."

Vision scoffed, "You are unbelievable..."

"Oh don't act so innocent, I've seen the text between you and your assistant." Wanda spat. Vision tensed slightly at the sentence. Shit things just got better. "Leave."

"You can't kick me out of my own house, Wanda."

"The house was passed down from my parents, it's under my name. Leave." She asked one last time. Finally, Vision walk towards the front door. However, it seems like he had more to say. Before he closed the door on his way out he looked back at the two of them with a disgusted look.

"This fucking kid has no status in this country, he works a minimum wage job, he's still in college struggling to pay his own tuition. What makes you think he can provide you with everything you need?" He snarled.

Wanda crossed her arms, "That's none of your concern. I'm surprised you even cared about our family's needs when just tonight you couldn't careless about Tommy's whereabouts." Seems like she hit a nerve as Vision slammed the front door when he left the house. Wanda let out a breath of relief. She glanced at Y/n who looked deep in thought.

"Y/n?" She asked.

"Hmmm?" He looked up at her. Wanda could tell something was wrong. She approached them and gently cup their face.

"Don't mind what he said."

However, Y/n was now washed over with reality. Vision's words were hurtful, "But he was right..."

Wanda's heart shattered at the sight, "Darling, no." Y/n had a sorrow look. Wanda wanted nothing more but to kiss it away.

"Wanda... I have nothing to offer you."

"Don't say that... Please don't say that." She pulled them down so she could plant a soft kiss on his forehead lovingly. "You provide me with so much love and care." Y/n gently rest their hand on top of Wanda's, they gazed int each other's eyes. Love visible on either's side.

But he couldn't... Y/n had nothing. And Wanda deserved someone who could give her everything.

Slowly, Y/n pulled away Wanda's hand from their face with a sad smile. Wanda's heart shattered slightly. "You need someone who could provide more than that."

"What if I want you?"

"Wanda, I want nothing more than to be yours. But I'm just a broke college student. To make matters worse I'm an international student, I have no status here."

"You can apply for a work visa after graduation." She tried to reason.

"I'm only in my second year, it'll take a few more years to pay off my debts. And I don't even know if I'll get a job in the film industry knowing how competitive it is." Tears started to pool in Wanda's eyes. They were both too caught up in their little bubble forgetting the complication of their relationship.

Wanda had a family to take care of. Now that Vision was out of the picture, she had to figure out a way how to balance work as a single mother. She didn't made this decision because of Y/n, no, Vision turned out to be a deadbeat father. But if she did wanted another partner she would preferably want one who is in the same life stage as hers.

Yet her heart couldn't help but to call for Y/n.

"I love you, Wanda. But I-" Y/n kept holding her hand, he wants her. God he wanted nothing more than to be hers. To be able to provide for her. To show her love and care that she deserves. But as usual, time and the universe was not on their side. "You deserve someone better."

Wanda couldn't hold herself so she pulled them into an embrace, hiding her face on his chest. Their arms wrapped around her. Both of them cried for the life they wish they could have had with each other, but due to the circumstances, it couldn't happen. Yet.

"Just... hold me."

"Forever if I could."

Wanda stayed there, listening to their heartbeat. Her heart was torn. She wishes she could have a life with them, but she has a duty as a mother. As much as she knew she was capable of providing herself and her boys financially, deep down their relationship would be doomed if it continued. With Wanda being busy at work, taking care of the boys, and adapting to life as a single mother. Y/n focusing on their studies, after they graduate they need to focus on finding a job and adapt to adult work life. Not to mention handling all the paperwork and requirements as a foreigner.

It was too hectic. Too much complication already to their own complicated life.

But what if love was enough to conquer it all? Or is that just wishful thinking?

"Y/n." Wanda pulled back, gazing into his eyes.

"Yea?" Y/n responded. Wanda's hand reached up to tangle itself in his hair. She kissed his forehead, Y/n closed their eyes. Wanting to forget everything just for a second.

"I love you too." Wanda said softly.

Oh how their heart bloomed hearing those 4 words. Y/n couldn't help but smile at Wanda's confession.

"In another time, another life. I promise to love you in every single one of them."

Phewww, finally. I can move on to a new series, i hope you guys liked this shameless self-insert fic! Damn this last part was LONGGG I have a few ideas for Wandanat, and maybe another one for sum more Wanda x Readers :>>>

Anywho, Taglist! @dorabledewdroop @weptmango (lmk if you would like to be tagged as well for future Wanda x Readers works! (truth is idk how taglist works :'))

#wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximommy #wanda maximilf #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x internationalstudent!reader #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff angst #wanda x masculine!reader #wanda x gn!reader #wanda x male reader #wanda x student!reader #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #idk why i love to break y/n’s heart #international affairs #wanda maximoff smut

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r0-boat · 5 months ago

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Is it bad that the new announcement made me lose interest completely in the game? Like it was the last nail in the coffin. From my Pov the spoilers were the fun part bcz at the moment there is nothing for f2p users... The dailys are repetitive and morning and the "new rewards" are so little they might as well not be (talking about the new rewards u get on a new card 1 red key is gonna do dog shit). I might need to go back and check but didn't they said there were some big updates for us f2p and we still didn't gotten them? Also... The story? Where? I know marketing is important but.... Aren't we important too?

Don't take me wrong I understand what they are doing and agree with certain stuff but at the moment, for me at least, whb is dead and abandoned. There is nothing that can keep me waiting and wanting to play it anymore.

Sorry for the long text just wanted to rant and you seem like a safe place.

Sorry again. You can ignore if I was insensitive.

I completely get that feeling.

Pretty busy is- what I've heard, a relatively newish company

And what I've seen they seem to be pretty small.

I'm not saying that losing interest in the game is a bad thing. In fact this is a natural outcome if you don't produce content for players who do not have the money for paid content or for me in particular story content.

Event content is relatively free if you play it around that time.

But I feel like most people want story content.

Whb is an amazing concept and frankly we don't have a lot of games that are for people who like men.

I love the game And I want more content but it's really hard to wanting to continue when I don't get new content.

They are making promises and they are not keeping them That is bad for business. I hope they change it soon because the slow pace is really killing people's interest.

I have felt that's pretty busy has gotten better especially with English translation.

I'm not saying "be patient blah blah blah-!"

I'm saying that you're frustration is very valid and something we're kind of all feeling just a little bit.

I for one love what and hell is bad and I'm going to be in for quite a while. And to be honest I think the fandom is really the MVPs here.

#ro.chatting #whb #light rant #wihib #what in hell is bad

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eliysian · 1 year ago

Text

── 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐫 !!

PAIRINGS: RE4R! Leon Kennedy X Reader

INFO: After a lone night drinking at a bar, a man orders you a drink and you end up in a stuffy bathroom stall and a rough hangover the next morning at your new job.

A/N: AHHH IM SO SORRY IF ITS BAD! I've never really wrote NSFW scenes this is my first time, I hope it's not like cringy!! Also, pacing isn't that great 😭.

TAGS/WARNINGS: Small NSFW scene NO MINORS, one night stand, running into him again, NOT PROOFREAD, new job, no use of y/n, girl reader, short story, blah, blah, blah. there is indicators around the NSFW scene, skip it if u want to!!

You sighed to yourself, you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed in yourself for being back at this bar. You'd promised that you'd stop drinking for your own health; especially since you were starting a new job soon and needed to stop that habit as it definitely wouldn't help.

The glass infront of you stirred in your hand, mindlessly swishing it as you zoned out. The drops of bourbon dripping down the interior of the glass. The words in your head absorbed you, the fuzz from the alcohol kicking in a lot harder than you would've wanted. Thoughts interrupted by the bartender setting down a drink infront of you.

"I didn't order another drink," You internally cringed at the slight voice crack that edged along your words—also at the fact you didn't even give the bartender a chance to say who it was from.

"The man over there," She spoke, "To the right of you; by the window." She quickly added as she stepped back, taking another order from the couple a few seats away from you. With furrowed brows, you turned to your right and locked eyes with the man. He looked a little older than you, but no older than 30. Around 27, if you had to guess.

Shooting the man a slight wave, you were met with a drunken smile from him. You laughed a little, since it dawned on you how you probably looked the same with the amount of shots you've taken.

Somehow, you found yourself walking over to his booth and making small talk; rambling about unnecessary things. Only asking for his name once randomly in the middle of the conversation, which was probably 1 of the 10 words he managed to say inbetween your drunken rambling.

Which also—somehow—turned into your own little whining session, "Life has honestly been so bad," You complained. "I need a break." In which, you added on mindlessly about how a break has been long awaited for you, how you've lacked some sort of excitement in your life recently, and the weight of your new job towing down on you. "You need a break?" The man, Leon, brokenly said. You nodded in response, mouth too filled with bourbon to say a word.

"I'm free for the rest of the night, if you're interested." His words dripped with intent, finally confronting the tension that sat in the air throughout the whole conversation. You hesitated, but.. why not?

Whiny moans from parted lips filled the stall, skin slapping almost rough enough to bust an eardrum. "God, you're pretty," Leon grunted, brows furrowed through arousal while his hips snapped up against yours restlessly. The struggle to hold your moans together was rough, the burning lump in your throat begging to be let out instead of squeals and loud whimpers.

Leon let out a low, growled chuckle, fucking you through your high as you've already came. "Needy f'this dick, huh?" You bucked your hips up in response, whining as you clenched around his length. "M—Mhm!" Your hands pawed at nothing, trying to ground yourself. His chest pinned against your back, deep exhales and groans filling your ears.

The growls he was letting out were practically intoxicating to you, the throbbing of him inside of you only making you attempt squirm from his hands. They were strategically placed on your hips, fucking you down into a pit of pleasure while ramming you down onto his dick. You couldn't help but think about how bruised up you were going to be in the morning.

"Fuck, I've got a bad hangover," Leon groaned, pinching his eyebrows while the slightly taller male beside him laughed. "I told you not to drink, there's a new rookie today too," Chris nudged him, voice rumbling through Leon's ears and causing a rough throb in his frontal lobe.

"God damnit, you're gonna make me train them- aren't you?" Leon scoffed, adjusting his belt. "You volunteered," The other man responded quickly, the gruff tone of voice finding its way back into his words. The walk was short, yet felt like eternity for Leon. The throb that was barred into his skull ached, he really shouldn't have drank.

Hell, he barely remembers what happened last night. Just a few faint memories of being in a stall with a stranger. She was pretty—too pretty to be getting fucked in a bathroom stall—but he did regret it. Getting blackout drunk and possibly getting a stranger pregnant the night before work? Internally he beat himself up for it.

Chris seemed to be dealing with his own thing aswell, as everytime Leon looked up he was just as lost in thought as he was. Before he could even ask they were entering the main hall, where everyone else already was, presumably to meet the new recruit. Seats were filled, only two faces being familiar enough for Leon not feel uncomfortable.

Chris walked off, and almost on que, Luis walked up to him to ramble about the new recruit. "You should go meet the rookie. Ella es bonita, eh?" Luis chides, a miscevious grin plastered against his lips. Leon just chuckles lightly, walking past Luis to the same hallway Chris went into.

He slid open the same door, "Hey, where's the—" Leon froze, eyes locking onto the same familiar face of the woman he met last night. "—Recruit.." He finished quietly with an exhale.

You stood there, now at a loss for words as yours and Chris' gaze met Leon. Leon's eyes glued to you, clicking the faint memories of last night together; your body pinned against a dirty stall while he fucked you dumb. His hand gripped the knob hard, veins now popping while he white-knuckled.

Chris took a double take at you, confused by the tension. The door was suddenly slammed shut with a frustrated sigh, Leon no longer in sight. "Uhm," You cleared your throat, looking back up to Chris.

"Do you two know eachother?" Chris blurted.

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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 5 months ago

Text

a picture-perfect proposal.

Spencer Reid picture-perfect.

Spencer Reid had no idea when he came home from a long case that his new neighbor would be the love of his life. And together they would create the picture-perfect life.

A four-part series.

18+

Fluff. Smut. The Criminal Minds team being the Criminal Minds team. Love story.

This part is going to be a little bit longer and much dirtier than the first part of the story. I'm writing this in a particularly turn on part of my life, and i don't have a man to help me with that so i write. and I hope that I didn't make it too dirty, too raunchy. It does contain a lot of sex. Meeting the team. Spencer and his girlfriend come clean about some things.

masterlist for this story

It's been six months since y/n Met Spencer Reid in her hallway. In that time, they have tried to get used to the fact that he Won't be around very often. It's something that neither one of them enjoys.

In that amount of time, y/n and Spencer have learned to cherish every second that they spend together. So it's not unusual for her to wake up and Spencer's arms on his days off. Still tangled up together after falling asleep after a night of passionate love making. Something that she missed this morning as you woke up and there was no Spencer in your bed despite the fact that it is his day off. It wasn't until you heard the shower running that you realized Spencer had woken up before you and decided to take a shower.

You start to shuffle around in bed a little bit, trying to get more comfortable. But no matter how much you moved, you weren't going to be able to ignore the ache in your center. It's the Ache that only Spencer can relieve. You're not sure why you're missing him so bad after last night, you should be good for a while, but then again, it is Spencer Reid and you can never get enough of him. You hear the shower go off and you can't stop thinking about wet, naked Spencer. Something about that man that does something to you.

Spencer comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. One of your pretty pink ones. It's a sight to see really. (Yes, this is a nod to him as Chip Taylor in the movie 68 Kill. I couldn't help it.)

"Morning beautiful" you heard Spencer say.

" Good morning handsome" you replied.

" I was hoping to make it back into bed before you woke up. I'm sorry. I know how much you love waking up in my arms, and I know that I sure love having you wake up there. I miss you so much when I'm away baby" he says, coming closer to the bed.

"It's OK. I woke up and saw you weren't there and then started missing you. And was afraid that maybe last night was just a dream. But when I heard the shower running, I remembered that you were here. And then there's the fact that I don't sleep naked unless you're here. So." She said with a chuckle.

"Well, yes, there is that. I don't sleep naked unless I'm with you either". Spencer told her, getting closer to the bed.

"So how are you feeling This morning, sweetie". Spencer asked.

"well I'm feeling um", she said Shifting slightly in the bed. "Horny" She whined.

"Really. Even though I took such good care of you last night." Spencer asked, getting closer to the bed before removing his towel and showing off his full body to her. That didn't exactly help her current state. That was until he got closer to the bed and got under the covers with her that she finally started to feel relief once he pushed inside.

"Is this what you needed?" He asked. Is He was beginning to move slowly.

"Yes, this is exactly what I needed. Thank you, Spencer." She said as he began to pick up the pace a little bit more.

"I would say I don't know how you could need more after the night we had, but I understand it because I need you too. So I was really happy to hear that you wanted me."

He Made sweet, gentle love to her three times that morning. There are both so happy that Spencer didn't have a case. They had the whole weekend all to themselves. Unfortunately though, the Reality of life came when Monday morning came along. Spencer's phone started ringing at 8:00 in the morning as he was making love to her once again. Spencer couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice when he heard JJ on the other end of the phone. saying that he had a case.

JJ Understood his disappointment, but only because she thought that he was happy to have some time off. Catching up on his reading. Get some much-deserved sleep, maybe have a nice meal, sleeping in a bed that wasn't a hotel bed. She had no idea about his girlfriend. No one on the team does at this point, only Luke Alvez. And he kept his promise to Spencer and didn't tell anyone about. Y/N

"OK, JJ I'll be there soon" Spencer said with a sigh, hanging up the phone. he looked at Y/N And she could see the disappointment in his face.

"Is it a case?" she asked with a sigh. Tucking. her head into his side.

"Unfortunately, yes. I'm so sorry".

" Hey, it's OK. I knew the consequences of getting involved with the FBI, man. Doesn't make it any easier for me, but".

" Well, the good news is I'll be able to come back. The case is local, so. I won't have to be gone as long. Might still have to stay in a hotel though if it's Too far away from home and Emily doesn't let me come back home. But she might. And then We can still spend the nights together"

" I would like that. I would like that very much. You know, I do miss you terribly when you're gone. I don't know if you miss me as much as I miss". She was cut off with a kiss to the lips.

"I miss you like crazy". Spencer told her. "I miss you too".

Spencer made his way into the station. And found out what the case was about. He was pretty much just going through the motions at this point, trying to get back home. As a profiler, he knows to try to keep a straight face, a poker face if you will, which should be easy for Spencer Reid, giving that he is from Las Vegas. Today, however, the lovesick boy took over and he lost his poker face. He was looking at a picture of his girlfriend on his phone when Rossi came up behind him.

"Who's that?" Rossi asked.

"Ohh, she's. Um." Spencer tried to come up with a lie. He tried to come up with it quick.

"Is that a girl?" He could hear JJ saying from behind him.

"um, you know what? I think there's something happening, uh, this paperwork over here?" Luke tried to help Spencer.

"What paperwork? I didn't think there was any paperwork to be done. We don't file paperwork until after the case is done, Luke, you know that". JJ told him.

"Thank you, Luke. You tried. I appreciate it, I really do", Spencer said. With a sigh, setting down his phone.

"This is.y/n She was my new neighbor and now she's my girlfriend".

"Girlfriend?!". Everyone's shrieked Except for Luke.

"How we're just finding out about this? How long has it been?" Prentiss asked.

"Six months"

"six months and it is telling us about her now. We have to meet her. Please, we have to meet her. Is this why you sounded so disappointed when I called you about the case? Oh my God, were you in bed with her? OH, did I call you during sex? ". JJ said.

"Yes, I was in bed with her at the time. I had to leave her to come do this case and I've been missing her like crazy. I didn't mean to hurt anyone by not telling you, it's just personal. And the last time I had a girlfriend it didn't work out because she got killed in front of me and I don't know, I guess I just didn't want to jinx it." Spencer explained.

"We understand, reid. It's OK. Would you be alright with us meeting her though? I am throwing a party next week and I think that it would be nice for her to come, and we could all meet her. But only if you're comfortable with it". Rossi asked.

"I would like that. I would like for everyone to get to meet her. I love her so much. I'll ask her if she'd like to meet you. I'm sure she would."

Spencer came home that night and pitched the idea to her about meeting the team.

"Something happened today. I was looking at a picture of you on my phone. I got so distracted that I didn't notice Rossi coming up behind me and he saw you. Now the whole team knows about you, and they want to meet you."

She was both excited yet nervous at the same time. Excited because she really wanted to meet the people that were so important to him and in his life all the time.

Finally, the night of the party came after three excruciatingly long days. Spencer was all Hers. again.

She stood in her bedroom looking through her dresses. She only really had two nice dresses to wear for such an event. both of them Kind of like cocktail dresses in a way. One with silver and one with a dark blue velvet like dress.

She walked out into the living room and asked Spencer which one he liked better, holding both of them up on hangers.

Spencer looked at her his mouth dropping as she stood there wearing her black lace bra and panties.

"Spencer?". She asked, moving the dresses up and down.

"Which one do you like?"

Spencer got up from this chair that he was sitting in. And walked slowly over to her.

"Can I be honest with you?" He asked, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

"Yes, that's what I need right now".

"I love what you're wearing right now". he whispered to her his lips so close to her right ear.

"Thank you, Spencer. Unfortunately, I can't go to a party with your coworkers wearing this".

" Well, no, you couldn't really do that. You're right about that, but. You asked me which one I like better. But. Yeah. If I have to go with you actually wearing a dress, I'll say the blue one. Then that way we can match". He said, pointing to the. Blue shirt and pants that he was wearing. The sleeves of his shirt rolled back.

"OH my gosh I didn't even notice when I saw you there. So sexy but didn't really. Notice that what you had on was blue. so We are going to be the cute little matching couple."

"Yes, but only if you want to be. If you want to wear the silver one that's fine, but I personally really love the blue one."

"Then the blue one it shall be".

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my mind off of what you're wearing underneath that dress though." Spencer told her, watching her walk away.

"You can think about it and then you can take it off of me when we get back home tonight". She offered as she walked into the bedroom to finish getting ready.

At this point, Spencer wasn't really sure that he was going to make it to the end of the night. The drive to Rossi's house seemed to pass quickly. It seemed like no time at all before they were pulling up in front of his house, the house that was all full of cars. They were the last ones to get there.

"Are you ready?" He asked, holding her hand before they got out of the car.

"I think so, yes. This is a lot of cars, a lot of people. OK, I'm not really Used to crowds". She said Taking a deep breath.

"Don't worry, they're going to love you." Spencer reassured her before giving her a kiss and getting out of the car. Walking over to the other side to open the door for her and help her out.

They got out of the car and began walking up the driveway to Rossi's front door.

The sound of her black high heels sounding so loud echoing in her head.

Before she knows it. Spencer is ringing the doorbell and JJ is answering the door.

She has no idea who this pretty blonde is wearing a purple dress, but she knows that she could definitely be competition for her.

"Spence hi!" She greeted him with a hug. "Oh my gosh, you must be y/n. OH, you're just as pretty as you were in your picture on Spencer's phone." She said before hugging her.

I'm Jennifer, but all of my friends call me JJ and I know that we're going to be friends, so feel free to call me JJ.

"Come on in, the whole team is waiting to meet you".

Spencer took her by the hand, walking her through Rossi's spacious living room, through the kitchen and out into the backyard where everyone was.

Her chest began tightening, it beginning to be a little bit difficult for her to breathe as she was becoming overwhelmed with the amount of people that she was seeing. But Spencer's grip on her hand. Made her feel safe. She knew that she was always safe with Spencer.

"Oh my God is this her?!!" She heard another blonde shrieking. As she began running to her.

A blonde wearing a bright pink dress and high heels that were equally as bright. With the big flower on the side of her head.

"Hi, I'm Penelope Garcia. Oh my God, she's so cute. Spencer, why didn't you ever tell us about her before?" She asked Spencer before pulling his girlfriend into a bear hug.

Before Spencer could answer. Rossi came over.

" So this must be the lovely Y/N I wish that I could say I've heard a lot about you, but I only recently found out about you. But if Reid like shoe, then you must be a wonderful young lady. My name is David Rossi by the way. I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself."

"Oh, it's OK. Yes, I'm Y/N But I guess you already knew that from Spencer, right? I'm sorry, I'm not good at crowds or at parties. I Don't get out very much."

"No need to apologize or be nervous. As a profiler, I can see that you are nervous and there's no reason to be here. We are all a family, and you are now part of our family."

One by one, the rest of the team introduced themselves and gave her a hug before they sat down to a wonderful meal. Rossi really went all out tonight. As he always does. there was Lasagna. Ravioli. Tortellini. Fettuccine Alfredo.

Everyone was eating and having a good time. That was until it happened, something that Spencer thought was going to shake his world forever.

Penelope asked the question. "Why haven't you told us about her before now? I'm starting to get very Nervous because the last time you kept something like this from us, something big, you ended up in prison".

Spencer never told his girlfriend that he was in prison.

Everyone at the table gasped, and then the whole place went silent, everyone looking at Spencer. Spencer looked at his girlfriend. She wasn't saying anything, she was just frozen. Slowly, she turned her head to look at him before whispering. "Prison?".

The sadness in her voice, like a dagger through Spencer's heart.

"Yes, prison I..i" was all Spencer could get out.

"Oh my God, did you not know? Did she not know?" Penelope said quickly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you didn't tell her."

"Can we go to the other room and talk about this?" Spencer asked quickly.

"Yes".

Spencer got up, then pulled out her chair, taking her by the hand. going to Rossi's living room.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn't know how to. I didn't do the crime that I was Accused of. I Within Mexico. Trying to get some help from my mom. You know my mom, right? I did tell you about her. And I was accused of murdering the woman that I was buying the medication from, but I didn't do it. It was my nemesis who framed me for murder. And I spent three months in prison. And it was horrible. But I didn't know how to tell you that because I didn't want you to think badly of me or. Think that I was just as bad as your ex-boyfriend. I really do love you and I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to keep it from you. I just didn't know how to tell you. Please forgive me". Spencer explained, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Spencer, I forgive you. I'm not mad at you. I'm hurt. I'm not hurt because you didn't tell me. I'm hurt because you felt like you couldn't tell me. But I understand because there's something that I kept from you to my ex-boyfriend wasn't just lousy in bed, he was a lousy man altogether. He was very abusive. And that's why I had to learn how to fake orgasms because. If I didn't have sex with him. And didn't make him believe that I enjoyed it. He would hit me and threaten to kick me out on the street, and I didn't have anywhere to go. So I just had to keep faking it. Sex was not something that was enjoyable or pleasurable to me. It was a punishment, Until one day when I had enough. And I packed up when he went to work and used every bit of money that I had saved to buy the apartment that was next to you. That was the best day of my life, meeting you and finally knowing that there are good men in this world and I know that you didn't do anything wrong to be put in prison and I'm so sorry."

"I didn't mean to make you have sex with me if you didn't want to. I never meant to.." His words were cut off by. Y/n

"You are fine. I love having sex with you. I never thought that it could be something that I could actually enjoy, but with you, it's everything that people ever said that it was."

"Really?". He asked, holding her hand.

"Yes, really. You're going to keep your promise to me and Make Love to me when we get home, right?"

"Of course, but as long as you want it".

"Spencer, with you, I will always want it".

Spencer kissed her and then they walked back out hand in hand to finish dinner.

"I'm so sorry". Penelope said. "I didn't know that you didn't know. I didn't know that she didn't know."

" It's OK. It's better that it's out in the open now. We both got a lot of stuff out and it's better this way. We shouldn't keep things from each other, and now we won't. It's fine. Can we continue having dinner now?"

"Yes, let's eat bon Appetit". Rossi said.

The ride back home seems so much longer than the ride to get there, both of them just wanting to have each other so badly. If Spencer Reid was less of a man, he just would have taken his girlfriend right in the back seat of his car. But Spencer is a romantic and would never do something like that.

The dark blue dress that she was wearing was going to drive Spencer crazy all night long. Well, as long as they are at the party anyway. Spencer really wanted nothing more than to bring her back home and have his way with her. He was so glad when the party was over. Driving a little bit faster than usual because you couldn't wait to get back home and be with y/n.

" Your dress. My God, your dress. You look so beautiful. I know that I keep telling you this, but you just are just so beautiful."

" Thank you, honey."

The dark blue button up that he was wearing, with the sleeves slightly rolled up was driving her just as insane as the dress was driving him.

As soon as they were inside, he couldn't keep his hands off of her. Kissing y/n with passion before His fingers found the zipper of the dress, slowly unzipping it down her back. It's as though he wanted this moment to last forever. she didn't know that a zipper could be undone this slowly. Once the zipper hit the bottom of the track of the dress, he pulled it off of her shoulders, allowing the dress to pull to her feet. He watched the fabric slide down y/n's body as it did. Before looking up to see the Black Lacy underwear set that she was wearing underneath the dress.

" Did you wear this for me?" He asked her before kissing you on the lips.

" Yes, I did." You answered him between kisses.

"y/n Can I ask you something?"

" Of course."

He asked her a question between kisses.

" If I." (kiss) " Was a dessert." (kiss) " What kind of dessert would I be?" (kiss)

" You would be." (kiss)

Spencer's lips now made his way to her neck, kissing the spot that drives her mad.

" You would be." (moan) "My favorite dessert" she moans.

" Good answer" he said, before kissing her on the lips again. " Do you want to know what kind of dessert you would be?"

" Yes."

" You would be". (kiss) Then he Whispered right in her ear. " The desert I couldn't get enough of. The only dessert that I couldn't keep off of my mind. The only dessert that I would lose my mind if I didn't have. The only dessert that I have an insatiable appetite for."

He told her before picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist and carrying her into their bedroom.

" Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to have some of my favorite dessert right now" he told her as he laid her on the bed before pulling down her underwear.

All she could do was Pant in anticipation, waiting for him to touch her.

" So beautiful" he said, before he put his head down and began licking her.

After one lick, he began moaning.

" So delicious. You don't mind if I just help myself to my favorite dessert, do you? He said before taking a suckle on her Clit.

" Ohh God Spencer, yes" she moaned out.

" Yes. Do you mind if I help myself to some of my favorite dessert? You want me to stop?"

" Spencer No, don't stop."

"OK, baby, I won't." He told her before going back down. The pleasure that he was giving to her was something she would never get used to. And would always be something that she craved. She moaned. She ran her fingers through Spencer's hair.

She orgasmed twice just from his mouth.

"Spencer, please, I need to have you inside of me", she panted out.

Spencer wasted no time. He thought he was going to explode before being able to be inside of her. She was so wet and ready for him that he slid in with absolutely no resistance, both of them moaning out at the pleasure.

He moved so slowly inside of her fingers, in her laced with hers as he kissed her lips and neck. After they both Orgasmed together. They both laid in bed, cuddled in each other's arms, still panting, trying to get their breath back from such pleasure.

"Was that worth the wait?" y/n asked.

"Are you kidding me? That was amazing. Unfortunately, though, we do need to get cleaned up". Spencer said.

"Well, OK, a shower then?". y/n Suggested.

"A shower I think would be nice".

His girlfriend reluctantly got herself out of his arms, attempted to leave the bed. But her legs were absolute Jelly.

She almost fell back down.

Spencer told her "maybe a bath would be better" with a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, I think a bath would be good".

Spencer kissed her. And went to the bathroom to draw the bath, putting in the vanilla bubble bath, the water steaming up the bathroom before he went back into the bedroom and carried her in. He held her up next to the tub and had her hold on to the side of the tub while he got in before helping her get in and sitting right in front of him. His arms wrapped around her instantly.

All of their secrets out in the open, all of their love known to Spencer's entire team. There was nothing left to hide anymore. There was nothing left to be nervous about. They are in love and plan on staying that way for the rest of their lives. They had a wonderful four days before Spencer was called away on another case. They knew that it was only a matter of time and spent every second that they could together. They truly were the love of each other's lives.

One night, four months after the team had met Her. Spencer lit a bunch of candles in His bedroom.

Before inviting his girlfriend over. Actually, he lit candles up pretty much all over the living room as well. Spencer let her into the apartment, and she walked in gasping at how many candles there were.

"Wow, this is a lot of fire" she said with a smile.

"Well, I have something really special that I want to say tonight and, uh, I thought candlelight was the best way to ask. Wanted to make it as romantic as possible". He took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. Where she saw all the candles lit and red rose petals. On the bed, in the shape of a heart. He let go of her hand, and when she turned around, there he was, on one knee with a diamond Ring in his hand.

"y/n I love you so much. When I'm not with you I feel like I'm going insane. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and I would love and be honored if you would be my wife".

She began crying immediately before saying yes. He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her hand before moving up her body and kissing her on the lips.

"The beds are ready for us, my beautiful fiancé". He said before kissing her once more. "But only if you want me to Make Love to you right now".

" Spencer Reid, I want nothing more than for you to Make Love to your fiancé. I want nothing more than to have my fiancé inside of me".

That night, Spencer made love to her in a way that felt different than the other times. It felt like it was the beginning of a new journey, a new chapter for both of them. It truly was a picture-perfect proposal.

Wow, that was a lot of 4552 words. I hope that I didn't make it too boring and I hope to have the next chapter done Faster than I had this one done. But again, being a caregiver doesn't leave me very much time to write. So I brainstorm and then I try to write the best story that I can. Please leave comments, they help keep me motivated.

#spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #mgg #criminal minds #dr reid #reid #spencer reid smut

48 notes · View notes

adaptacy · 1 year ago

Note

Hi! Since requests are open I wanted to suggest a second part to the fic you wrote about Johnny escaping from prison and tracking you down, obviously sexually frustrated, missing the touch of his partner and being treated with basic human decency. It would be so cool if you could make it angsty too 🥲

hiiii anon! here you go :)

no smut here but rough treatment/handling and angst.

It was gentle, but it was still a push. A push away. He remained in the same spot, though his head recoiled, and he looked down at you, eyes narrowed, irritated with your choice. "Why?" He hissed.

"It's been twelve years. You're a fugitive, Johnny. I- I have a son. We can't be doing this," you stammer, shaking your head as you keep him away with a palm against his chest. "I'm sorry."

"None of that shit matters. C'mon, darlin'. I've missed you," he stressed, pushing back against your hand and nearing your lips again, but you pulled away.

"I'm serious. I'm sorry, maybe I led you on, but... I never intended to- Can't you see? Don't you... see the problem?" You asked, your voice light, trying to remain unaccusatory. You understood him to an extent; you'd been able to make a life for yourself, and he'd been nothing but a spectator to the outside world. You were living a completely different story from his. And your paths had crossed in the past, but they weren't meant to cross again.

Hell, he was supposed to be in jail. Both of you knew that very well. Every day that he was out may be his last day before the cops found him again. You couldn't just cling onto a fading memory like that. Never knowing when your kiss may be the last, never knowing how long he was going to be in your life. That was way too much stress, even if some part of you did still love him.

You'd tried loving others. Hell, you'd married one of them. Had a kid. But it wasn't the same. Nothing ever came close to what you and Johnny had all those years ago. And when the marriage fell through, he conveniently showed up a few months later. A possibility you never could've even dreamed of being real. And you dreamed about him quite often.

With a quiet sigh, you pushed him off of you and tried to step out of the way, but he grabbed the middle of your shirt and tugged you backwards, pushing you against the brick wall of the alley the two of you were in. He was tipsy, but he wasn't drunk enough to accidentally be rough. He was doing it on purpose. "Johnny, I'm not doing this."

"Just fuckin' explain it to me again. Tell me why," he demanded, looming over you, his tone nothing short of menacing.

"I have a family."

"No, you have a kid. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"I have a life- I can't go housing a fugitive," you argued.

"I got my own place. You ain't gotta house shit."

"I hardly even know you, it's been forever," you pushed.

"So? We'll get to know each other again."

"You're dangerous, Johnny!" You snapped, heart picking up it's pace as you shook your head at him. His expression fell, his head retracting a few inches. "You killed people. Broke out of prison. You-" You huffed, finding your voice shaky despite trying your best to remain calm. "You're bad news," you whispered.

There was silence on Johnny's end, his chest rising and falling with a sort of determination as if his anger was slowly bubbling up. "What the hell did you just say to me?"

"Please, just... let me go. I shouldn't have encouraged this, I'm sorry, Johnny. I think it's best if we part-"

"No. What the fuck did you just say to me?" He snarled, and you flinched, your breath caught in your throat. His grip on your shirt tightened, and he pushed his fist harsher into your chest, his breaths coming out in rough bouts. "You didn't give a shit about any of that twelve years ago. That husband of yours fuck you that good, huh? Think you're too good for someone like me now? Think you're gonna be a good little suburban wife who can't be caught with a criminal like me?"

"I didn't say any of that. And, god, no- He's an ex, for one, and-"

"Listen, little miss picket fence, I don't give a shit about your new life. Whether yer believin' you changed, whether you think I'm nothin' more than a fugitive, it-" Johnny huffed, looking down, some unfamiliar emotion crossing over his eyes. "It don't change what we had. You wanna go denyin' that?"

"Johnny, that was twelve years ago. You-"

"It don't matter. None of it fuckin' matters. Ain't you able to see that? You wouldn't have given me the time of day if you didn't miss me."

"Of course I missed you. But you're insane if you think that just... randomly showing up as a goddamn jailbird escapee is going to suddenly have me back on my knees, you need to have a reality check. Please understand," you begged, scoffing at his inability to see clearly.

"That's all I am to you now, huh?"

"What?"

"You were the only thing I thought about in those walls. The only thing encouragin' me to break out. The only thing keepin' me fightin' back against the rat bastards who went around pickin' fights. You think you're just gonna say no?" He scoffed, looking back up as he searched your eyes for something. What exactly, you weren't sure. "Ain't you scared, pumpkin? You think yer safe from me?"

You frowned, lifting a hand and slapping him square across the face, staring him dead in the eyes. His head turned at the impact, and he stared down the alley for a few moments. "I know I am. Get the fuck off of me, Sawyer."

"The hell'd you just call me?" Johnny finally returned his sights to you, and he released your shirt just to slide his hand up to your throat, tightening his fingers around it and forcing your head back.

"Get. Off," you repeated, stern despite how incredibly intimidated you were. He could very well snap your neck like it was nothing, and he had no reason not to; he was already on the run, it wasn't like crimes were something he was scared of. Especially not murder.

"You think you can just talk to me however the hell you want? You think I won't kill you?" He growled, and you grabbed at his arm as he squeezed even more, causing genuine difficulty breathing. As you strained for an inhale, he leaned down, his mouth right next to your ear, his every huff making you flinch. "I was made for you. You're s'posed to be mine. Ain't that what you said? Promised me you'd be mine forever. I'm just comin' to claim my property."

"I'm not- an object, Johnny," you choked, but he hardly seemed convinced. "I said that because I was young, and dumb. And I was in love," you strained, squeezing at his arm. "I don't love you anymore, Johnny."

He stared for a moment, and then surprisingly, released you. You coughed, rubbing your throat where he'd grabbed you, breathing heavily. You never realized you could take breathing for granted, but you certainly had.

"You left. You killed. And clearly, you haven't changed," you muttered, taking in a deep breath as you panted. "I thought you didn't belong in prison. But I read about what you did. I... I guess I thought you'd changed. Thought you'd learned your lesson. But you're still as aggressive as ever."

"Sweetpea, I-"

"Don't. You just tried to kill me. Don't- Just... I'm going to go. I don't want to see you again. Especially not around my kid," you demanded, and his mouth hung slightly open, some apologetic rage behind his eyes.

But he didn't say anything else. Just... let you walk away.

Truth be told, he would've killed you. You knew that. He had the means to, had the reasons to.

Why he didn't, you had no clue.

#tcm game #tcm #johnny slaughter #texas chainsaw massacre #johnny tcm #johnny slaughter x reader #johnny slaughter tcm #johnny slaughter headcanons

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fanon-elio · 1 month ago

Text

By your side.

Part 4

Summary: You are the CEO of a big company and hired Lycaon as your personal attendant, however it seems that your wolfish butler has developed a crush on you. So while you and him were on a business trip, both of you were forced to confront your growing feelings for eachother.

Tag: Blue Letter (Hurt/comfort)

Pairing: Von Lycaon x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is completely fictional and is not canon. You are responsible for the content you consume, so if the following warnings trigger you, you may read at your own risk.

Warnings: Fluff, Slow burn'ish, long fic, mutual pining, reader is smaller than lycaon, lycaon is down bad horrendous, friends to lovers type stuff, some flashbacks here and there.

Angst, Jealousy, mentions of injury, mentions of blood, Lycaon being awfully hard on himself, Guilt, body dysmorphia.

Other warnings: lowkey my first fanfiction, so bare with me here. (T^T)

Yes, this fanfiction WILL contain Nsfw in the future.

I added some throw-away characters to the story as plot devices, no they're not oc's and they hold no importance to the story other than providing character development.

This fic contains a lot of scenarios written in Lycaons pov cuz i eat this shit up for breakfast.

Hello how are you? First things first, I apologize any mistakes you may find, and constructive criticism is always appreciated. This part is a bit longer than the previous ones because if I would have split it up, the pacing would have felt weird. I hope you enjoy regardless.

"You're y/n right?" The woman asks, and you nod, a little confused as to how she knew you despite never having seen or spoken to you. She seems to have picked up on your confusion "I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you-" you try to explain, but she interrupts you, and instead gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder "don't worry babes, I get it your cautious, but I'm totally on your side, I'm Natalie by the way" she introduced herself, pumping her lip gloss a few times "in fact, nobody has ever made my looser of a husband as mad as you, and I respect you for that big time" she said, and you let out a short chortle, more so to mask your still growing confusion "when I tell you that he got so pressed over your conversation with him after dinner, he really done called his mom to cry about it" she lets out a hearty laugh, and you followed short. But then again you couldn't help the question burning on your tongue as to why she stayed with him, if she clearly didn't like, much less loved him. "Honestly, how do you even put up with that man" you carefully asked her, rummaging through your purse for your lipstick "ugh honestly, that's a mystery to us both babes" she says while she applied another layer of lip gloss.

"To be fully honest with you babes, he actually totally catfished me on our first date" you stopped rummaging as you looked at her in disbelieve, if dear Natalie didn't have you full attention before, she definitely had it now. You turned to her, giving her your full attention as you waited for her to spill the tea to you "listen, we met over a dating app actually, and the first time I saw him I was like, where are the 6.5 foot, and your full head of hair at that you bragged about over text?" Both of you laughed as you finished applying your lipstick, now knowing why she didn't like him. You would have expected her to be just as insufferable as her husband, but instead you internally apologized to her for judging her too soon. Clearly you had no idea she was chill like that.

"But then again, I just gotta know..." you fix your earrings, then turn your head to look at the black haired woman next to you, "be honest with me, what do you even see in that man?" You inquired, all politeness be damned. She lets out a cackle "well, that depends on the day..." you give her a look, silently asking her to elaborate "...today I saw in him a brand-new eyeshadow pallet, and tomorrow maybe a new Lamborghini" she pops her lips, then shoots you a mischievous smile. "He is a hateful, desperate, and rather pathetic man" she continues, and you nod in agreement to the statement of him being hateful considering how he had treated Lycaon "clearly the dude is trying to cope with something, and if I'm fully honest with you, I'm really just sticking around cuz he pays my families bills" she finished, and you're reminded of your own financial dilemma "I know how awful it sounds but listen, I gotta make it worth my time somehow" she says, putting her hands up in an innocence feigning manner.

"But enough about me, what about you babes" you look at her again, your lipstick finding it's way back into your purse "you really won life, I mean your boyfriend is so hot, and he seems to be all over you" she says and your confusion once again resurfaces. "My boyfriend?" she mimics your confused expression as you slowly began to connect the dots in your head, "oh! no, wait, he's not my boyfriend!" You say, realization hitting you square in the face, which is now just as red as your lips while Natalie gave you an equally shocked expression. "Well babes, what are you waiting for? Hello?" She says, and you look away in embarrassment "listen, it's not like I don't want him to be" you admit "but it's... complicated" you sigh "he's my personal attendant, it would be a scandal so much is for sure" she nods along.

"Listen, people fall in love all the time, and it's rarely ever convenient" Natalie says, crossing her arm as she leans against the bathroom sink "trust me you'll regret it more if you try to ignore it" she says, and you knew she was right. Letting out a huff, you confess "truth is, I think I'm just scared of ruining what we have you know" she raises one of her eyebrows as a silent question "if I confess to him, and he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, not only would it ruin our friendship but also would make all of our interactions hella awkward" you say, a blush once again creeping its way onto your face as you internally beat yourself up for talking about your love life with some stranger in a bathroom "and even if he does, we could potentially risk ruining our careers." She takes a step towards you "shit sure sounds like a whole mess..." she says "but even then, at least you tried" she once again putts a hand on your shoulder "just talk with him, test the waters you know" she says and right now she reminded you so much of Zhu yuan.

The Pub sec officer kept saying the exact same things to you, something along the lines of "a conversation never hurt anybody" or "for starters, just ask him if he's into someone" speaking as if she had ever been in a relationship with someone, even though everyone knew she kept her job like a lover. She was also the one who had recommended Random play to you, dragging you there to pick out a romantic movie for quote unquote "Inspiration." Clearly she had been in kahoots with the the manager of the store, judging by how awfully enthusiastic said young woman seemed when she handed you the movie.

"I need to get back now, gotta keep my gremlin of a husband outta trouble" she says, as she walked past you, bringing your spiraling thoughts back to reality "maybe give what I told you one or two more thoughts on your way back to your prince charming" she said on her way out, doing finger guns as a silent way of encouraging you. And weirdly enough, it does.

As the door falls shut behind her, you once again turn to the mirror, looking yourself over one last time as you silently come to the conclusion to be honest with your feelings.

To both yourself and him.

You step outside the bathroom, wondering how much time had passed while you chatted with Mr. Goldman's better half. You make yourself on your way back to your table, hoping you haven't worried Lycaon too much with your rather long absence.

But it seems Lycaon has to wait for you just a while longer, as you're stopped in your tracks by a tall man.

"Excuse me miss, are you miss y/n by any chance?"

---~---

Worry began to grow in Lycaon's gut as he looked at his pocket watch. You have been gone for over 30 minutes now, and he couldn't help but think that something awful must have happened. More so because of Goldman's distinct absence in the dining hall, his table having stood empty for quite some time now. He put his watch back in his pocket, having decieded to go look for you himself.

He pushed his chair back, and stood up, gently smoothing out the wrinkles that had formed on his suit from sitting as he looked around the room. His sight being the only sense he could currently rely on since it was neither impacted by the loud noise of chattering that made his ears ring in discomfort, nor by the plethora of strong floral scents that painfully burned in his nose, and in turn made it impossible for him to distinguish the sound of your voice or the smell of your perfume from the crowd.

A few more minutes pass as he walked around the hall, still no trace from either you nor that vermin, but he swore if something had happened to you, and Goldman was to blame, he would tear out that man's throat.

"Scuse me" he heard someone from behind him saying, ripping him out of his thoughts as he turned around coming face to face with Mrs. Goldman "Sorry I didn't mean to startle you Mr. L/n" she said, and he fought as he tried to suppress his tail from wagging. "How may I help Mrs. Goldman?" He asked politely, not caring about correcting her, while he secretly ravished in the thought of being married to you.

"I just wanted to ask if you'd be so kind, and give your wife this note" she asked, secretly grinning to herself as she noted that despite calling you his wife he still hadn't correcter her. "I will see to it Mrs. Goldman" he replied, feeling admittedly a bit skeptical, "have you seen y/n by any chance?" He asked, and she shook her head "nah sorry, I left the bathroom before she did, honestly i myself am looking for my husband" she said, annoyance clear in her voice as both of them shared the hope that Mr. Goldman hasn't found you first.

Finally, he spotted you after what seemed like an hour of walking around aimlessly, his tail swishing gently behind him as he wanted to make his way over to you however, his heart sank when he noticed that you weren't alone:

You were with a man - thankfully it wasn't Mr. Goldman, instead you were talking with another thiren. You didn't seem uncomfortable in any way, in fact when the man put his hand on your shoulder, you didn't recoil nor did you seem alerted in any way, you blushed even when you chatted with him.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and shake off this awful sting he felt in his chest as he watched you.

But to no avail.

He clenched his jaw painfully and let out a deep huff as he once again felt this feeling coursing through his veins like molten iron. A feeling that he was already painfully familiar with, having felt it before when that vermin Goldman so openly and shamelessly flirted with you.

Pure jealousy.

Not even reminding himself of the moment you two shared during the speech could ease his nerves now, quite the opposite actually, it only seemed to make his situation worse.

This was supposed to be his special day with you.

His clawed fingers traced the golden tie clip gently as he recalled the memory of both of your reflections in the mirror just a few hours earlier. He is supposed to make you blush like that, like he had done in the boutique when he called you beautiful.

He felt even more insecurities bubble up from the depth of his mind as he watched the man bend down to speak something in your ear, as you played with your earring. Something you would do if you were flustered, whatever this man has said to you, it seems that you liked it.

Lycaon felt a growl bubble in his throat when he watched how close this stranger was to you - his favourite person.

He is supposed to be this close to you, like when he had embraced you after your horrible dinner with that disgusting worm. That place by your side was his.

He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he looked at you, drowning everything around you out like tunnel vision; with you at it's center as he searched for any kind of discomfort on your features, shamefully hoping to find something so he could swoop in and steal you away - steal you back.

But there was nothing.

He took a deep breath, and fixed his tie as he made his way over to you, his doubts following him every step of the way. The metall of his prosthetics clacked against the marble floor, the sound of which was, for some reason, almost deafening to him as he approached slowly.

He only had himself to blame he thought. That despite the feelings he harbored for you for so unbearably long, he's never made an attempt to win your heart always valuing his professionalism over his feelings, too afraid of the possible consequences that could come from them.

Was it too late now? Did he miss his chance?

He heared you laugh, normally a sound that he craved. But now it didn't make him feel content, because it wasn't him who made you laugh. "Pardon me" he politely interrupted, fighting with himself to not bare his teeth at the other man infront of him "Ah Lycaon, perfect timing" you said "this is Mr. August" you said, and the thiren extended his hand in greeting "a pleassure meeting you" Lycaon took his hand, politely shacking it "the pleassure is all mine" he responded, even though it was the farthest thing from the truth.

You gave Lycaon a brief rundown of your conversation with Mr. August, saying that the host of tonights gala would like to have a private chat with the both of you. Mr. August was send to fetch you, and both of you got a bit lost in conversation. Lycaon nodded as he took in the information, but secretly all he could think about was how awful that man's scent clung to you.

He shouldn't smell this, he should be smelling your parfume, your shampoo or your body wash, and not another man's cologne. It taunted him with the way it wafted around his nose, like a bitter reminder that he wasn't as poised and polished as he liked to present himself. He wanted to pin you to the nearest wall, to lick you clean of that stench, and he internally scorned himself over how possesive he thought about you right now, despite lacking the courage to confess his feeling to you.

You and Lycaon followed Mr. August as he guided you down a hallway, you cautiously looked around, noticing the extravagant decor and expensive artwork hanging on the wall. On one hand you were glad to be away from the masses, and on the other you felt nervousness rise in you again. You were thankful that Lycaon was with you, since you were sure that you wouldn't have been able to face that Lady on your own. You looked at Lycaon from the corner of your eye, noting how stiff he seemed. You were aware that something was off with him, but you couldn't pinpoint exactly what was wrong. He had acted strange ever since he had approached you and Mr. August earlier. You pondered for a moment, could it be he was angry with you because you pretty much left him at the table, waiting for you while you chatted away with Mr. August? You swallowed thickly, that had to be it, and who could blame him that really was awful of you. Here he was supporting you the entire evening, making sure you were alright and you just leave him sitting somewhere. What a great friend you were.

You gently tugged on Lycaons sleeve trying to get his attention, and his ears perked up in suprise at the sudden sensation "I'm sorry I left you sitting at the table for so long" you apologized to him "there is no need to worry master, I'm not offended" he responded with a smile, a professional empty one.

You frowned, clearly something must have happened, you thought and dreaded the idea of Mr. Goldman having harrased him again with his usual racist antics. You swore if that was really the case, then you would make your threat of doucing that midget with your drink a reality. Maybe even giving him a good kick to where the sun doesn't shine on your way out.

You placed your hand on his forearm "are you ok?" You asked him, your voice laced with concern while he stayed silent for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by your question "everything is fine master" he replied, breaking eyecontact with you. Your own landed on his clenched fist behind his back, you wanted to reach out and hold it like he had done with yours earlier but chose against it, opting to give him some space. You gently removed your hand from his arm, and his tail dropped a bit at the lack of your touch. Mr. August stopped infront of a door "we are here, Milady is waiting inside for you" he said, and opened the door for the both of you as you stepped inside.

"I'm grateful for the oppertunity to talk with you in person, Ms. Y/n" the host spoke, her wheelchair standing next to the sofa she was sitting on "please, have a seat" she offered, and both of you sat down in the sofa across from her "allow me to properly introduce myself, my name is Clementine Walker, head and founder of Walker International Bank" she introduced herself, more so out of politeness since both you and Lycaon already knew who the Lady sitting in front of you was. She was a well known figure in New Eridu after all.

However, much like yourself she rarely ever appeared in public, choosing to dedicate most of her time to the funding of hollow related research. "I'm sorry, I don't think we are aqquainted yet" she said, her head turned towards Lycaon "it appears as such" he replied "I am Von Lycaon, I serve as Lady Y/n personal attendant" he said politely bowing his head "delighted to make your aqquaintace, Mrs. Walker" He seemed colder than usual.

Mrs. Walker turned to you once more "I assume my husband has already informed you about the purpose of this meeting, yes?" She asked gently placing her hands in her lab "even though it was on rather short notice, please pardon my poor time management." You blinked a few times, voicing out the thought both you and Lycaon shared "your husband?" Mrs. Walker giggled a bit "Yes, August Walker is my husband" she replied, and you apologized for your impoliteness but she assured you that it was alright "it suprises a lot of people" she had said.

Shortly after Mr. August returned, setting down a tray with tea before excusing himself again. You intently listened as Mrs. Walker spoke, internally screaming as you misjudged the temperature of the beverage in your hand, burning your tongue a little in the process. Mrs. Walker, or Clementine as she prefered you'd call her got straight to the point of why she had asked for your time, as she shared her wish of becoming an Investor for your company. For a moment you thought of asking Lycaon to pinch you, just to convince yourself that this was really happening.

Lycaon however was currently boiling in shame, his jealousy now having fully morphed into guilt, and embarrassment as he remembered his earlier antics when he saw you with August Walker. How unbecoming of him to jump to conclusions like that, opting to try and deflect from what he had seen, and felt by putting up his usual professional demeanour he used for any other client.

But you weren't any other client, and he recalls how ashamed he felt when he had seen your expression earlier, clearly concerned for him as you looked right through his carefully crafted facade. He felt beyond awful for pushing you away like that.

However, in a corner of his mind he was silently celebrating. Knowing that perhaps, it still wasn't too late to capture your heart like you had done with his. But especially after today, he didn't know if he could even muster up the courage of asking you out even if he had the oppertunity.

"If I may be so bold to ask" you started, feeling rather anxious in Mrs. Walkers presence. "What was it that sparked your interesst for my company?" You asked, hoping she wouldn't find your question offending. Suprisingly she let out a warm hearted chuckle as she gently moved up her dress, revealing a pair of prosthetics. "Believe it or not, but you have sparked that interesst in me yourself" you tried to apologize to her for prying into such a private topic but she set your mind at ease "it's quite alright deary" she had said.

Slowly your cups began to get emptier, and emptier as Mrs. Walker told the story of how she had met her husband. You and Lycaon perked up when she explained that August Walker had also been her personal attendant, who had taken care of her when she had lost her legs, and whom she had ultimately fallen in love with. As the clock hit 11 am, you decieded to also make your way back home, having thanked Mrs. Walker for the oppertunity and promised her to stay in touch.

The way to the car, and the ride was silent. While you still pondered what could be wrong with Lycaon, he himself occupied his mind trying to figure out where to go with his feelings now. Should he should act on them, or give them up. Mrs. Walkers Story was still fresh on both of your minds, and it gave Lycaon a little hope when he thought about you and him.

Back home, you once again kicked off your high heels like you had done yesterday. You should feel at ease now, that straining evening was over, and you gained a new and influencial ally that could potentially solve all of your financial problems. But you didn't feel like celebrating, too concerned about your companion. Said companion has taken to the kitchen, still having not spoken a single word since the gala. On silent feet you decieded to approach him, trying to carefully pry what was wrong.

You found him in the kitchen, downing a shot of whatever alcohol he had found in the refrigerator, something that concerned you even more by how out of character it seemed for him. He rarely ever drank, prefering tea over anything else. His tie was undone, and his suit jacket layed abandoned on the chair nearby, folded neatly regardless "Lycaon" you started, alerting him to your pressence "are you unwell?" You asked him and he put the bottle to the side, taking a Martini glass from the cupboard. "everything is alright master, the strong smells tonight just have taken quite a toll on me" he lied, and you noticed immediately by the way he pressed his ears to his head. "How about we celebrate your success" he said returning to what he was doing, still refusing to meet your gaze. You sat down in your usual spot as you watched him reach for a knife, noting how much his hand shook. "Has something happened with goldman? Has he harrassed you again while I was away?" You tried again "not at all master, please do not worry" he replied and you took a deep breath. You weren't mad at him, no - right now you were very concerned by the way he acted. "Have I... done something to upset you" you asked which was admittedly what you worried about the most.

This question caught Lycaon off guard so much, the hand that held the knife missed the lemon he was peeling, and the sharp edge of the blade found the flesh of his finger instead "damnit" he whispered, holding his now bleeding finger. The fur around it slowly turning red, and that was your last straw. You got up from where you've been sitting, quickly aproaching him, the sound of which startling Lycaon. "I apologize, I'll quickly grab a bandaid and-" you interrupted him by gently taking his hand, leading him away from the cutting board. The knife now laying abandoned, a red stain on the pristine blaid, just like the stain on Lycaon's pristine demeanour.

You turned on the faucet, gently holding his finger under the cold water. He winced a bit at the temperatur and the small sting of his wound making contact with the water, but he once again felt himself absorbed by the different in size of both your, and his hand. You grabbed the first aid kit from under the kitchen sink, rummaging through it, and shortly after wrapped a bandaid around Lycaon's finger. The shame Lycaon felt in this moment was almost unbearable for him. His guilt sending an ice cold shiver down his spine, while his face heated up at you doting over him. His ears pressed to his head again and he tried to speak, to at least say something.

But a simple "Thank you" was all that left his mouth.

You sighed heavily, and he feared he had dissapointed you "master I-" you gently shushed him, grabbing his hand, and carefully guided him towards the living room. You sat down, gently patting the spot next to you, urging him to sit. He obliged dispite his discomfort, he knew you ment well even though right now he was afraid what you might say to him. "You know, I always appreciated that I could tell you everything, you always had an open ear for me, and never judged me" you started "and I'm sorry that i haven't shown you my gratitude for that enough" he strongly wanted to object, seeming dissatisfied with you feeling like you had to apologize to him even though it was him who created this mess by refusing to confront himself. "But, I want to become that same kind of person to you too" you gently reached for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. The contact seeming to immediately relax him a tad bit, just like how his own touch had calmed you. "Just know that I will always have an open ear for you as well, no matter what" he studied your expression, you weren't mad neither dissapointed. Your face radiated a form of certainty, and security, he squeezed your hand tighter. He was conflicted, should he tell you about his feelings now? How would you react? Surely it wouldn't be a good idea if he made you worry with his uncharacteristic antics, just to kiss you.

Kiss you?

Without him even realizing, his heart had acted faster than his brain could worry about the consequences, his lips finding yours in a quick and tender kiss. He quickly moved away, mortified at what he had just done "My sincerest apologies! I don't know what came over me!" He apologized, once again avoided your gaze, feeling the urge to flee. But you gently grabbed his chin, turning his head to look at you. You two looked at eachother for a moment and he finally cracked under your caring gaze."I was jealous, I apologize" he admitted "I had seen you talking with Mr. Walker earlier and thought he may have been... flirting with you" you looked at him, tracing calming circles on his hand with your thumb "why would you be jealous?" You asked carefully "because I-" he stopped for a short moment, taking a deep breath as he summoned the courage to speak the words he's wanted to tell you for so long "I'm in love with you."

you're eyes widened, but you didn't seem apphaled nor insulted by his confession, which set his spiraling mind at ease, even if just for a little "why have you never told me" you asked, internally calling yourself a hypocrite for the exact same reason "I was worried it might cause a scandal, I wouldn't want to ruin what you have worked so hard for, and the friendship we had build" he said "besides I-" he took a deep breath "I thought that maybe it would have been for the best if you had found someone else" he said, his ears once again pressing to his head, clearly betraying how he felt about that statement "why would you think that?" You asked confused, feeling bad for bombarding him with so many uncomfortable questions.

He slouched a bit, a pained expression on his face "Look at me" his hand perched on one of his mechanical knees as a silent way of accentuating the crux of his dilemma, and he once again broke eye contact with you "I'm only half a man" he spoke, the following silence slowly nurturing that weed of doubt that had taken root in his mind. That sentence broke your heart. You knew loosing limbs is awfully traumatic, but you had never fathomed how bad Lycaon's own body dysmorphia really was. And how could you have know, it was a part of him always carefully locked behind his polished and perfect demeanour, shamefully hidden away from the world.

You reached out to him, gently cupped his cheek, and he looked at you again "you have gone through thick and thin with me these last one and a half years, and you always supported me" you started, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb "you may think of yourself as nothing more than half a man..." you smiled at him with the same beautiful smile that would always make butterflies erupt in his stomache, and it seemed to lighten up his dark mood "but to me, you're already my whole world" you confessed, and he held his breath, his brain slowly starting to process your words "does that mean you-" he started and you nodded "I'm in love with you too Lycaon." His eye lightened up at your words, his heart doing jumping jacks in his chest as you held his face in both your hands now, looking deep into his eye "so please, kiss me properly" you said, slowly leaning in, and he obliged immediately "with pleassure, master."

Your lips connected again in a searing and loving kiss, the butterflies in your, and his stomach exploding into fireworks. He cupped the back of your head, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer to him, and you straddled Lycaon's lap in response. His hands were gently perched on your hips, your arms found their way around his neck as you both fully enjoyed the intimate moment you shared with eachother. You heared Lycaon's tail thump against the sofa, while he questioned if this was really happening or if it was just another one of his desperate dreams. And even if it was, then it was the best he has had in a long time.

You two seperated the kiss, still holding eye contact with eachother, both slightly out of breath "damn" you started and he tilted his head a bit to the side, his ear flicking in confusion "you're incredibly handsome, and you're an amazing kisser" you complimented him and he chuckled "a compliment that I'll gladly return in full" he said, burying his face in your neck. His tail moving excitedly from side to side as he held you in his embrace never wanting this moment to end, wanting to hold you forever.

You leaned against his chest "so goldman really didn't bother you" you asked, and Lycaon reached for your hand, gently taking it in his "no don't worry, that cretin hadn't shown his face after you told him off after dinner" he said bemused. You looked at your hand, marveling how much bigger his was than yours "more like you told him off, if I didn't know any better goldman would have almost caught fire by the way you had looked at him" you giggled. He laced his fingers with yours "I'm sorry if my behaviour in that situation has made you uncomfortable" he said, a twinge of guild finding its way back into his voice "don't worry you didn't make me uncomfortable" you said, bringing his hand to your face and planted a kiss on his knuckles "I liked it, the way you stood up for me, and protected me" you blushed a little as you remembered the situation, now realizing that there might have been a twinge of possesiveness in his words as well. He gently laid his head ontop of yours "I also liked how you had stood up for me during yesterday's dinner" he hugged you a bit tighter, tracing little shaped on your hand.

"I admire you you know" you said and he perked up "how so?" He asked you, while you thought about how he had spoken about himself earlier "because, dispite what happened to you, you never gave up, and stayed diligent" you said, hoping your words would soothe that ache of his "you're inspiring" he was speechless, his heartbeat picking up a notch "you give me the strength, and motivation to keep working hard" you gently trace his mechanical knee, his heart was soaring as he watched you "and this doesn't make you ugly, or less of a man, it actually makes you very attractive in my eyes" you admitted "I know I can always count on you, and you can always count on me, you have my word" you finished, looking deep into his eye.

In a flash Lycaon had you pinned to the sofa, his lips once again finding yours. Only this time his kiss was different, it was hungry and lust driven as he used your suprise to push his tongue into your mouth as it moved against yours. The alcohol he had earlier seeming to fuel the fire that still burned in his stomache, as he unbottoned his shirt, exposing his muscled chest to you. He broke the kiss to let you catch your breath, your eyes were wide at his bold action. He gently grabbed your hand, and brought it to his face, placing a kiss on your palm. Then he spoke, low and gentle. You heart skipped several beats as his words left his mouth

"Master, please allow me to make love to you"

---~---

Part 5 ->

To be continued ->

First and foremost, thank you for reading. This chapter was definetly longer than the previous ones, but I wasn't able to split it without ruining the pacing.

Anyways, next chapter will be the Nsfw chapter, and I hope I nailed it. It's not often I write smut.

Lastly, thank you again for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

-Elio

#fluff #angst #lycaon x reader #von lycaon #von lycaon x reader #zzz x you #zzz x reader #zzz von lycaon #angst with a happy ending #furry #x reader #werewolf x human #werewolf x reader

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