#THE SCARY NOSTRIL FLAIR AND STARTED SPEAKING TO ME IN RAPID FIRE SPANISH I WOULD RUUUUUUUUUUN

[boxwinebaddie]

uhhm uncle neen lowq i'm a little scared of you ngl (but in a powerful cool but intense way ) like i think the tumor should be scared of yooooooooou lmaooo

Anonymous asked:

nina u have a tumor??? Tf u got the worst case of AO3 writer curse. R u going to be okay Nina?

Anonymous asked:

NOOOOO UNCLE NINA ARE U GONNA BE OKAY OH MY GODDD </3 WTFFFFF

THAAAANK YOU, ANGEL!~ c''''': 0 <333!!!!

i...Think? helpsdljdlk

( long horror story short: i'm okay, my loves. xx )

( bc fair warning; this is the longest and most Bat-Shit Insane thing i've ever written...and i wrote that cursed BAR chapter of peppermint

TW for...mania, and being the female version of light yagami...Oof. )

e-either way -- both, if you're me, ig --

Eye...Appreciate It, Boo-boo Kitty. <3

( i'm luv you. muAh! )

i think i am oft underestimated, tbh. ( it's why all these Fuckwad Doctors didn't diagnose me quickly enough with...anything in this body. like, i guess Eventually they did -- took you long enough! like damn, like i'd ask how the fuck that makes it an urgent care,

but considering i was URGING all these Butt-fuckin! Proctologists!

TO. C-A-R-E.

( which, by that i mean absolutely NO disrespect my cis gay kings and anyone else needs me to beg their pardon for...yucking their yum

...i'll do it this one time, just for the girls, gays and theys; please enjoy ur your freaky ass -- help -- get out of Rail free card; iiii was simply refering to all these doctor dildos with their heads up their asses clearly looking for Something...if it's a brain; it's on the other side, like...you're all inside out, call that an Prolapse in judgement. )

Medical Negligence, that is. xx

like congrats Doomsday Anatomy:

You DID It! ( Yay! <3 )

Up Top! Down Low!

TOO. FUCKING! SLOW.

buuut...uhhh, thanks for, y'know...RANDOMLY Choosing to put me in the Mystery Machine ( The MRI ) AND Scooby DOING Your DAMN! JOB! For! ONCE!!!! however, you forgot One thing...

You Forgot...

tHAT! D.AAAAAAAAAAA.W.G! IN! ME!

( this post goes on...for like fifteen more paragraphs.

i'm just...Su...per.

-- P I S S E D. :) xx

BC gENERAL HOSHITAL MISdIAGNOSED ME

FIVE. /FUCKING./ tIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Dr. Gregory HAUS Would Have NEVER Done This To ME!!!!! )

but...

I'm Sorry For Yelling, Baby </3

i'm just really...Really Irritated; lol.

not with you, petal ( kisskisskiss )

with myself....AND GOD ALL

FUCKENFIGHTMEYOUTRICKASSBI

but...Sugar Pea...<3

...just bc i accidentally Scared some people :

-- btw, so sorry, bab, i'd just gotten diagroasted and toasted...and i was uhhhh...coping Very Poorly...slaY! -- BUT! to ease to your sweet, kind, brilliant minds a smidgen; i'll give you the 411, ( not 911, dw, bb: 'cause if existence is a prison, i'm not wasting my phone call on 'em.

THEY can drop /ME/ a line, though...

--- A F-L-A-T Line. ---

so when you ring me, make sure you call...

Time Of DEATH.

and if you're gonna put me in the WHAM!bulance again, can we stop wendy's? ..cause you bitches are thirsty and clearly, ( power ) hungry.

so, just let me know what you want, mmkay?

i'll pay now; You Can Pay Later.

me, though?

i'm all good; ( thanks! xx )

Cause

I Already

ATE.

( ft. me being Extremely Manic And Frightening...sorry, you were right, baby, however, like ravenstan, it's always halloween here, and if you knock on my door, all my lovely, sweet, good eggs ( that means you, my dear darling angels ) get sweets <3

...but unfortunately, lovie;

not everyone is a good egg :/ ( siiiigh )...because if you look like you're part of the demonic, fake jordan wearing, bedwettin braind(e)a(dd), ed and eddy, mop-headed, muppet shitshow alphabet mafia aka band seventh through twelth grade rowdy rough bois who are tryna...

Stance Sock up to me and post-malone at my house, rick-rolling out of their fine ass soccer mom's van who think they're the shit for rotten egg tee-peeing my house, see me...

And Get /Scared/...Reeaaaal Quick;

so, if i were advising a couple of mean teenage boy ( which, i did, mind you )...i would ding dong Ditch...ANOTHER BITCH'S DEATH'S DOOR, ding-a-lings! ( i'm not dying, dw, just killa ) because this...

Is MONSTER Girl House.

-- Trick Or Treat! :) <3

giving you five whole seconds of my not-going-to-die-ag-hoe-sis...

...and the rest is just me in light yagami drag having a jennifer's body esqe bipolar god complex moment and being bat shit insane and ripping god's chug jugular out with my teeth.

Victory Royale.

AMEN.

SO; you sweet creatures, the uncle womeninagioma is benign, so it's none cancerous and one of the easiest ones to treat. it's also...only 6mm and it has to reach cms to be worried about. they just have to keep monitoring me...sigh...probably forever. for which i am very...

*girl version of chicken joe from surf's up*

Like, SOooo Tot'lly Not Fuckin' Stoked, Brohskis! *shaka*

... buuut what can you do, my friends? just your super best, i guess. though, i won't lie...like wiiill say, i am experiencing /some/ symptoms ( which could just be inflated by my recent stress/being sick so long, or...unfortunately, related to sampling the delicacies that are rare earth metals -- yum...d-delish; so, uh...triple d-delicious

-- bi fieri or scary or sick fury re: that top ask; alley Oops! --

but...i do think i was having before that, and i am under the belief, it was probably low grade because i am here speaking to you and not braindead; bc done BEEN that bitch! ) that...are pretty consistent with the okay, boo-mer...sorry have to cop with hu-mor. badUMTSS

get it! Because I'm Coping With HuM--

uh! anyways: don't worry, nonnie-bonnies! xx

symptom wise ( speaking of SIMPS, listen up, gayboys ( raven and jersey ): being freak nasty and gay is a Disease, GET WELL SOON,

Hope You Heal, Harlots!

just kidding; there's no cure. ( sorry jkyle...but boys don't cry, right? and rstan, you know, i'd say YOLO, but you actually lived Twice...

-- but third times the charm, verdad? :) xx )

good news, is it's hereditary, you got it from me.

Sorry Or You're Welcome.

cHeeeerz!!! Mah-zEL!

And, I Hope You Packed A Night Light, Dear Listeners...

Because It's Always South PARKest...

( like, damn it's only darkest because you accidentally shut the lights off aGGRESSIVELY MAKING OUT IN A FKN /COAT CLOSET/ ( when i said Get A Room, I Didn't Mean...) AT THE BIG UBER IMPORTANT EXECUTIVE DYS FUNCTION SINFLUENCER EVENT THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING AT VEGETARIAN EXCEPT FOR TALL SCARY GINGER BOYS, /DEPRAVEN/ OF CRIMSON LETS GET IT ON, PEROOOOOO LIKE PACK IT UP!!!!! STANLEY MAR-VIN GAYE!

ITS NOT P(RIDE) MONTH, HESUS CHRIST, THE LORD AND SAVIOR COMPLEX! ( you know? because he rose again or idk, it was in the bi-guy-ble, or the frick-freakin MANwhorah if your jersey, I GUEs-- )

Any-Hways:

...*jk vc* BEFOUR SIMPSAN DWAH-AUHN, BABEY!

tada!

sjdajd;lsd

( nina...please...please take your Lamictal, queen. )

ANYWAYS! AGAIN! ( boys, will you fkn...explore eachother's bodys QUIETER, like daMn! some of us have to work twice as hard to focus and can't hear very well already. and by some of us...i mean me and,

YOU, GAYVEN!!!! ( sorry, usually i get jersey, so it's rs' turn, ily rav )

buTt ( of which there is no Physical Evidence, science side of tumblr, pls explain where my man's ass went...the answer is heaven, i love you, you sweet, sweet, angel -- SO WHY THE hALE<3 *ahem*

please note: i'M SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU HAVE FREAK NASTY SINNITIS, SWEETHAUGHT! AND THE DRS. TOLD LICHERALLY YOU TO STOP PREFORMING BEFORE YOU PERM! TRANSMAN! NTLY! LOSE HEARING IN YOUR EARS, AND YOU SAID, AND I QUOTE 't-that's okay; h-aha!' LIKE MANDE?!!! TRAAAAAANSMAAAANDE???

LIKE SBF I KNO CARTMAN'S THREATING TO K-WORD EVERYONE YOU LOVE BUT???? HELLO???? PRAY TELL, VIRGIN NOT SO SCARY, WHEN YOU'RE....DEAF, FELON KELLER, HOW WILL YOU PICK YERSEY'S VOICE OUT OF A CROWD OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE OR HEAR THE BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS MANWHORIOUS CHORUS THAT IS THE KYLE MMM SOUND?

( which...lowkey...je...rseykyle? i...it's probably heavenly, That's ALL, Nasty Boy, You Are For HELL and The STREETS, HOEbroken! )

But...Uh, Actually, I Did Say People Who Love You And...

Well...Go On.

...Ask Him. :)

I'd Love To Hear It. <3

oH WAIt--

*everyone staring in fear and horror at this ask meme...

U-Uncle Nina? This Is...Very Cool.

ButYouHaven'tActuallyGivenUsYourSymptomsYe--

------ OooOooy! Children!!!!

...Patience Is A VIR!TUE!

And Trust And Bie-lieb:

I Do NAUGHT Have It, Darlings!

What I /DO/ Have Though Isss...

Kim Possible...Brain Damage. :D <3

( Or Not-Dead-Yet Pool; What's The SITCH, Wade? )

I will also accept,

Bugs Honey-Bunny ( I Had Worms For Brains )

Because...

wHAT THE FUCK IS /UP/, DOC?!!

Buuuuut, Uh....Ye-augh...

So UNFORTUNATELY...I appear to have all...of that. ( Don't Ask About The Psychosis, BTW: My Life Is A (S)Low Budget Horror Movie, And Lucky Me, I'm The FINAL Girl! And The Final Destination...

IS THE PSYCH WARD.

-- which is Lovely this time of year; may I JUST say? <3

( they really do love me in there; I'm A Delight! x )

so mainly, uh...i can't smell like, anything...my eyes won't focus that well and i randomly get eighties slasher flashes in them ( is it because i'm the storyacle in this twisted tale? Miss Sassandra, if you're NASTY! ( is this why no one believe me when i talk? smh ) there's like a permanent bad taste in mouth, ears ring/make frightening noises,

i be wobbldy-wobbldy-wa-wabin everywhere ( everyone in the club get Tipsy Turvy TURVY! ) i lost hella wait ( paitence ) for no Damn reason ( there is actually ) but by that i mean, i got no logic, my homie, menigioma swiped that hard-drive so now my head is soft like a poached egg and god keeps hitting up the side the head with a big ass spoon *eleanor shellstropdickridinging me vc* ( fork you, bitch! )

mentally tho, you call me judge judy mood ring, ( holla at your girl! ) bc i'm mean because i'm mad at the laur of naycha! and because of the pressure in my head, anxiety and stress, i have random panic attacks where i get SCARED BY A JACKET ON THE FLOOR, which, is so FUCKING ANNOYING...like hello? Hello? HEEEEEEEELLO??????

HELLO, GOD!! ITS ME, TARGET ( OR MARG--GET RIGGIDY RIGGIDY WREKT, SON! [ my sincerest appaul-ogies for being a rigamortis femcel, like, justin roiland, choke, but also...i was gagged for a minute there; sooo sorry. wiggity wiggity whack. ] ) HOW ABOUT YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN DICK SIZE, BECAUSE MINE IS DRAg--

i...AM OKAY, i'm just really tired, it's a little exhausting, and it's like my life is set permanently on hard mode. ( kenny moment ) and speaking of ken-me, this is not my first rodeo, pard'ner; SO TRY HARDER.

i believe in gun control, but i'm a former partygirl, and if god wants to go shot for shot with me; i WON shot roulette in college, baby, so i'd loVE to see it! bc his attempts on my life so far have been *frat boi vc* wEAAAAAK!!!! like, oh my god, i'm sorry, are you taking me out or taking a nap??? you're gonna have to try harder than THAT, big man!

...No Balls.

nO. BALLS. YOU. WOOOOOOOOOOON'T!!!!

cause you're...what?

A fUCKING /LAME/!

*jk47 vc* a BuSTA!

and i don't Fuck with lames -- don't ask me about my exs; that was my evil twin -- now...if III had the death note...hoohoohoo~ ;) certain people should reach out with some seriously strong worded, kiss-ass apologies before i reach for my sick-ass limited edition tralalacaptain underpants light up pen that sings,write a total of two words down, or six minutes...and Well...alexa, play heart attack by demi lovato. :)

( ayOOOO! pack it UUUPPPP, write bra(h)-gami! *twirls my new hair extensions and bats my gigantic ravenstan goldfish eyes cutely*

BUT BUT -- YOUR HONOR! I COULDN'T HAVE DONE ALL THAT!

After All,

...I'm Just A Girl Right? <3

and, cough, 'omigod! of the new world'; Shesus(s), if you will, and if you won't...don't worry; last ur only about as long

As Ur Last Situationship :*

and rem(ember), baby! if they wanted to, They Would!

And I Jersey SHORE Did.

OHYEA!

( somebody blow The GRENADE Whistle! )

...and i'm starting with you, G-Man.

but we can call you L, because that's what you're takin! nina 4;20: if you giveth, i'm taking away, baby! yAAAAAA LIFE, that is! OOP!

they call seven minutes in heaven,

...six minutes in Hell when i play. ;)

*kyley b vc* so schlong, suuuuucka! kissa death incomin' so you betta pucka up. mOthAFuCkA! mWAH ( okay, i'm done being criminally insane and talking about death note posting on main again like fkn femcel...but on that ( death ) note, i take it back...

because l lawliet is my actually my weird lil autistic shawtHE and my anime HUSBAND -- eren #baeger, close your eyes; i know it's nail biter, but try not to bite your thumb, okay, babygirl --

and i know that's a red flag...that's okay,

bc if you see me comin,

You Better Come To A Full

( [ STOP. ] )

tldr; i'm chilling like a villain. don't worry about your uncle nina,

*pats you on the head and gives you $20 dollars* you just keep doing your homework and stay in school, bab...me tho? i've done my time

QUIT TRYNA TO CLOCK ME, GOD!!!!!!

CAUSE I QUUUUUUIT

A LOOONG TIME AGO.

SO RUN ME MY LAST CHECK;

I WANT

MY

GOD-DAMN

/SICK. PAY./

SHIT-DICK.

tbh, being sick is nbd when you're the motherfucking illest; i'm not afraid to die, ( my vision is fucked, and my life flashes before my eyes everyday; like, this shit is basically the club and women get in free, hi ladies ;) and in the wise words of lil wayne; 'i don't see how you can hate from Outside the club...You Can't Even Get IN. ahaha! LEGGO!'

alt. titled i can't see shit, but Look At Me Now, BITCH!

like, idk, i've been mentally ill for at least half of my life,

and nasty bitch for longer -- i won't bark, but you can bite me, bitch. you want your life? you want your life?! aw! sure. Go Fetch. :)

hooOOOo--

...g,od...Da...mn.

OOFffffff.....BROther...

no...yeah, that's fair, baby. i, uh...might actually be jersey kyle, if i'm honest. yiiiiiikes. any weird, goth bitches wanna fuck with me?

ksjdlksjd anyways...get behind me, kids. because, really, maybe i'm manic, but: i'm....not scared of being 'sick in the head' tbh

( again, i've BEEN sick in the head! try harder, idiot! at least the thing in my head is making me stupid on purpose, the thing in YOUR head is supposed to make you smart, so...what's Your excuse, dumbass? )

or, uh....frightened of any Higher Power for that matter; the bigger they are, the harder they fall; and look at that, it's autumn ( or GOTT-EEM! ) and if i can give y'all one last piece of sage, enraged uncle nina madvice: anyone who stays all up in your business, can't get down. but they will. because if push comes to shove...Uh Oh!~ <3

-- tell me, did it Hurt when you fell from Heaven?

because...i may get winded going up a flight of stairs, the hella-vator only has one setting, and i never rise but i always get that bread,

( if i'm funk-le nina and i make disability, is that sourDough? )

in plain english: i'm a slacker, so, again, i never rise: especially not to the occasion, but the game is limbo; so either sink down to MY level or hit the damn floor bitch. i'm an elementary school teacher, so i'm an expert at playground games, ergo: woopsie! i sunk your battleship.

ring around the rosie, they all fall...What?

Hm?

no! really:

i can't Hear very well, so...

SPEAK. UP.

annnnnd...

that's what i thought. :)

-- and it's a looong way down;

So Enjoy Your Trip. <3

alexa, will you do one more thing for me, baby? will you please play get low by lil jon and the far east boyz? because were in the club...

Rem(ember? )

so baaasically, whoever said they we're scared of me, i uh...i get it, i'm sorry skljsddk. in...in a fun way? i...hope. because you don't have to be scared of lil old me, swearsies, i made a place in my class out of yard sticks and blankets, put lots of stuffed animals, pillows, books, noise cancelling headphones, etc. in it and called it the 'The Cozy Corner'

and you, my friend, can stay in there as long as you want. c': i luv you. you are seen, you are heard, ( i can't rip ) but mostly, you are loved.

deeply by me. but otherwise, i'm a little Shallow ( when you've a dead girl walking and got one foot in the grave, is all of your humor... gallows? ) and if you're a man ( or a karen ) i'd start practicing for you rpdr, life sync for your after-life, because...

i'm Death Drop dead -ravenstan spelling words- gORJUS.

( ed tw )

*cunty chanel no. 1 on scream queens vc*

So...

Not ONLY...

Did Your Attempt On My Life FAIL...

IT

ALSO

MADE

ME

/S K I N N Y/.

-uncle kennina mccormick:

keying a massive Dick into the gate of heaven. ;)

( Fuck! With! ME! )