#-GIVES KYLE THE WORST LOOK IVE EVER SEEN- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boxwinebaddie · 6 hours

Note

uhhm uncle neen lowq i'm a little scared of you ngl (but in a powerful cool but intense way ) like i think the tumor should be scared of yooooooooou lmaooo

Anonymous asked:

nina u have a tumor??? Tf u got the worst case of AO3 writer curse. R u going to be okay Nina?

Anonymous asked:

NOOOOO UNCLE NINA ARE U GONNA BE OKAY OH MY GODDD </3 WTFFFFF

THAAAANK YOU, ANGEL!~ c''''': 0 <333!!!!

i...Think? helpsdljdlk

( long horror story short: i'm okay, my loves. xx )

( bc fair warning; this is the longest and most Bat-Shit Insane thing i've ever written...and i wrote that cursed BAR chapter of peppermint

TW for...mania, and being the female version of light yagami...Oof. )

e-either way -- both, if you're me, ig --

Eye...Appreciate It, Boo-boo Kitty. <3

( i'm luv you. muAh! )

i think i am oft underestimated, tbh. ( it's why all these Fuckwad Doctors didn't diagnose me quickly enough with...anything in this body. like, i guess Eventually they did -- took you long enough! like damn, like i'd ask how the fuck that makes it an urgent care,

but considering i was URGING all these Butt-fuckin! Proctologists!

TO. C-A-R-E.

( which, by that i mean absolutely NO disrespect my cis gay kings and anyone else needs me to beg their pardon for...yucking their yum

...i'll do it this one time, just for the girls, gays and theys; please enjoy ur your freaky ass -- help -- get out of Rail free card; iiii was simply refering to all these doctor dildos with their heads up their asses clearly looking for Something...if it's a brain; it's on the other side, like...you're all inside out, call that an Prolapse in judgement. )

Medical Negligence, that is. xx

like congrats Doomsday Anatomy:

You DID It! ( Yay! <3 )

Up Top! Down Low!

TOO. FUCKING! SLOW.

buuut...uhhh, thanks for, y'know...RANDOMLY Choosing to put me in the Mystery Machine ( The MRI ) AND Scooby DOING Your DAMN! JOB! For! ONCE!!!! however, you forgot One thing...

You Forgot...

tHAT! D.AAAAAAAAAAA.W.G! IN! ME!

( this post goes on...for like fifteen more paragraphs.

i'm just...Su...per.

-- P I S S E D. :) xx

BC gENERAL HOSHITAL MISdIAGNOSED ME

FIVE. /FUCKING./ tIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Dr. Gregory HAUS Would Have NEVER Done This To ME!!!!! )

but...

I'm Sorry For Yelling, Baby </3

i'm just really...Really Irritated; lol.

not with you, petal ( kisskisskiss )

with myself....AND GOD ALL

FUCKENFIGHTMEYOUTRICKASSBI

but...Sugar Pea...<3

...just bc i accidentally Scared some people :

-- btw, so sorry, bab, i'd just gotten diagroasted and toasted...and i was uhhhh...coping Very Poorly...slaY! -- BUT! to ease to your sweet, kind, brilliant minds a smidgen; i'll give you the 411, ( not 911, dw, bb: 'cause if existence is a prison, i'm not wasting my phone call on 'em.

THEY can drop /ME/ a line, though...

--- A F-L-A-T Line. ---

so when you ring me, make sure you call...

Time Of DEATH.

and if you're gonna put me in the WHAM!bulance again, can we stop wendy's? ..cause you bitches are thirsty and clearly, ( power ) hungry.

so, just let me know what you want, mmkay?

i'll pay now; You Can Pay Later.

me, though?

i'm all good; ( thanks! xx )

Cause

I Already

ATE.

( ft. me being Extremely Manic And Frightening...sorry, you were right, baby, however, like ravenstan, it's always halloween here, and if you knock on my door, all my lovely, sweet, good eggs ( that means you, my dear darling angels ) get sweets <3

...but unfortunately, lovie;

not everyone is a good egg :/ ( siiiigh )...because if you look like you're part of the demonic, fake jordan wearing, bedwettin braind(e)a(dd), ed and eddy, mop-headed, muppet shitshow alphabet mafia aka band seventh through twelth grade rowdy rough bois who are tryna...

Stance Sock up to me and post-malone at my house, rick-rolling out of their fine ass soccer mom's van who think they're the shit for rotten egg tee-peeing my house, see me...

And Get /Scared/...Reeaaaal Quick;

so, if i were advising a couple of mean teenage boy ( which, i did, mind you )...i would ding dong Ditch...ANOTHER BITCH'S DEATH'S DOOR, ding-a-lings! ( i'm not dying, dw, just killa ) because this...

Is MONSTER Girl House.

-- Trick Or Treat! :) <3

giving you five whole seconds of my not-going-to-die-ag-hoe-sis...

...and the rest is just me in light yagami drag having a jennifer's body esqe bipolar god complex moment and being bat shit insane and ripping god's chug jugular out with my teeth.

Victory Royale.

AMEN.

SO; you sweet creatures, the uncle womeninagioma is benign, so it's none cancerous and one of the easiest ones to treat. it's also...only 6mm and it has to reach cms to be worried about. they just have to keep monitoring me...sigh...probably forever. for which i am very...

*girl version of chicken joe from surf's up*

Like, SOooo Tot'lly Not Fuckin' Stoked, Brohskis! *shaka*

... buuut what can you do, my friends? just your super best, i guess. though, i won't lie...like wiiill say, i am experiencing /some/ symptoms ( which could just be inflated by my recent stress/being sick so long, or...unfortunately, related to sampling the delicacies that are rare earth metals -- yum...d-delish; so, uh...triple d-delicious

-- bi fieri or scary or sick fury re: that top ask; alley Oops! --

but...i do think i was having before that, and i am under the belief, it was probably low grade because i am here speaking to you and not braindead; bc done BEEN that bitch! ) that...are pretty consistent with the okay, boo-mer...sorry have to cop with hu-mor. badUMTSS

get it! Because I'm Coping With HuM--

uh! anyways: don't worry, nonnie-bonnies! xx

symptom wise ( speaking of SIMPS, listen up, gayboys ( raven and jersey ): being freak nasty and gay is a Disease, GET WELL SOON,

Hope You Heal, Harlots!

just kidding; there's no cure. ( sorry jkyle...but boys don't cry, right? and rstan, you know, i'd say YOLO, but you actually lived Twice...

-- but third times the charm, verdad? :) xx )

good news, is it's hereditary, you got it from me.

Sorry Or You're Welcome.

cHeeeerz!!! Mah-zEL!

And, I Hope You Packed A Night Light, Dear Listeners...

Because It's Always South PARKest...

( like, damn it's only darkest because you accidentally shut the lights off aGGRESSIVELY MAKING OUT IN A FKN /COAT CLOSET/ ( when i said Get A Room, I Didn't Mean...) AT THE BIG UBER IMPORTANT EXECUTIVE DYS FUNCTION SINFLUENCER EVENT THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING AT VEGETARIAN EXCEPT FOR TALL SCARY GINGER BOYS, /DEPRAVEN/ OF CRIMSON LETS GET IT ON, PEROOOOOO LIKE PACK IT UP!!!!! STANLEY MAR-VIN GAYE!

ITS NOT P(RIDE) MONTH, HESUS CHRIST, THE LORD AND SAVIOR COMPLEX! ( you know? because he rose again or idk, it was in the bi-guy-ble, or the frick-freakin MANwhorah if your jersey, I GUEs-- )

Any-Hways:

...*jk vc* BEFOUR SIMPSAN DWAH-AUHN, BABEY!

tada!

sjdajd;lsd

( nina...please...please take your Lamictal, queen. )

ANYWAYS! AGAIN! ( boys, will you fkn...explore eachother's bodys QUIETER, like daMn! some of us have to work twice as hard to focus and can't hear very well already. and by some of us...i mean me and,

YOU, GAYVEN!!!! ( sorry, usually i get jersey, so it's rs' turn, ily rav )

buTt ( of which there is no Physical Evidence, science side of tumblr, pls explain where my man's ass went...the answer is heaven, i love you, you sweet, sweet, angel -- SO WHY THE hALE<3 *ahem*

please note: i'M SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU HAVE FREAK NASTY SINNITIS, SWEETHAUGHT! AND THE DRS. TOLD LICHERALLY YOU TO STOP PREFORMING BEFORE YOU PERM! TRANSMAN! NTLY! LOSE HEARING IN YOUR EARS, AND YOU SAID, AND I QUOTE 't-that's okay; h-aha!' LIKE MANDE?!!! TRAAAAAANSMAAAANDE???

LIKE SBF I KNO CARTMAN'S THREATING TO K-WORD EVERYONE YOU LOVE BUT???? HELLO???? PRAY TELL, VIRGIN NOT SO SCARY, WHEN YOU'RE....DEAF, FELON KELLER, HOW WILL YOU PICK YERSEY'S VOICE OUT OF A CROWD OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE OR HEAR THE BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS MANWHORIOUS CHORUS THAT IS THE KYLE MMM SOUND?

( which...lowkey...je...rseykyle? i...it's probably heavenly, That's ALL, Nasty Boy, You Are For HELL and The STREETS, HOEbroken! )

But...Uh, Actually, I Did Say People Who Love You And...

Well...Go On.

...Ask Him. :)

I'd Love To Hear It. <3

oH WAIt--

*everyone staring in fear and horror at this ask meme...

U-Uncle Nina? This Is...Very Cool.

ButYouHaven'tActuallyGivenUsYourSymptomsYe--

------ OooOooy! Children!!!!

...Patience Is A VIR!TUE!

And Trust And Bie-lieb:

I Do NAUGHT Have It, Darlings!

What I /DO/ Have Though Isss...

Kim Possible...Brain Damage. :D <3

( Or Not-Dead-Yet Pool; What's The SITCH, Wade? )

I will also accept,

Bugs Honey-Bunny ( I Had Worms For Brains )

Because...

wHAT THE FUCK IS /UP/, DOC?!!

Buuuuut, Uh....Ye-augh...

So UNFORTUNATELY...I appear to have all...of that. ( Don't Ask About The Psychosis, BTW: My Life Is A (S)Low Budget Horror Movie, And Lucky Me, I'm The FINAL Girl! And The Final Destination...

IS THE PSYCH WARD.

-- which is Lovely this time of year; may I JUST say? <3

( they really do love me in there; I'm A Delight! x )

so mainly, uh...i can't smell like, anything...my eyes won't focus that well and i randomly get eighties slasher flashes in them ( is it because i'm the storyacle in this twisted tale? Miss Sassandra, if you're NASTY! ( is this why no one believe me when i talk? smh ) there's like a permanent bad taste in mouth, ears ring/make frightening noises,

i be wobbldy-wobbldy-wa-wabin everywhere ( everyone in the club get Tipsy Turvy TURVY! ) i lost hella wait ( paitence ) for no Damn reason ( there is actually ) but by that i mean, i got no logic, my homie, menigioma swiped that hard-drive so now my head is soft like a poached egg and god keeps hitting up the side the head with a big ass spoon *eleanor shellstropdickridinging me vc* ( fork you, bitch! )

mentally tho, you call me judge judy mood ring, ( holla at your girl! ) bc i'm mean because i'm mad at the laur of naycha! and because of the pressure in my head, anxiety and stress, i have random panic attacks where i get SCARED BY A JACKET ON THE FLOOR, which, is so FUCKING ANNOYING...like hello? Hello? HEEEEEEEELLO??????

HELLO, GOD!! ITS ME, TARGET ( OR MARG--GET RIGGIDY RIGGIDY WREKT, SON! [ my sincerest appaul-ogies for being a rigamortis femcel, like, justin roiland, choke, but also...i was gagged for a minute there; sooo sorry. wiggity wiggity whack. ] ) HOW ABOUT YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN DICK SIZE, BECAUSE MINE IS DRAg--

i...AM OKAY, i'm just really tired, it's a little exhausting, and it's like my life is set permanently on hard mode. ( kenny moment ) and speaking of ken-me, this is not my first rodeo, pard'ner; SO TRY HARDER.

i believe in gun control, but i'm a former partygirl, and if god wants to go shot for shot with me; i WON shot roulette in college, baby, so i'd loVE to see it! bc his attempts on my life so far have been *frat boi vc* wEAAAAAK!!!! like, oh my god, i'm sorry, are you taking me out or taking a nap??? you're gonna have to try harder than THAT, big man!

...No Balls.

nO. BALLS. YOU. WOOOOOOOOOOON'T!!!!

cause you're...what?

A fUCKING /LAME/!

*jk47 vc* a BuSTA!

and i don't Fuck with lames -- don't ask me about my exs; that was my evil twin -- now...if III had the death note...hoohoohoo~ ;) certain people should reach out with some seriously strong worded, kiss-ass apologies before i reach for my sick-ass limited edition tralalacaptain underpants light up pen that sings,write a total of two words down, or six minutes...and Well...alexa, play heart attack by demi lovato. :)

( ayOOOO! pack it UUUPPPP, write bra(h)-gami! *twirls my new hair extensions and bats my gigantic ravenstan goldfish eyes cutely*

BUT BUT -- YOUR HONOR! I COULDN'T HAVE DONE ALL THAT!

After All,

...I'm Just A Girl Right? <3

and, cough, 'omigod! of the new world'; Shesus(s), if you will, and if you won't...don't worry; last ur only about as long

As Ur Last Situationship :*

and rem(ember), baby! if they wanted to, They Would!

And I Jersey SHORE Did.

OHYEA!

( somebody blow The GRENADE Whistle! )

...and i'm starting with you, G-Man.

but we can call you L, because that's what you're takin! nina 4;20: if you giveth, i'm taking away, baby! yAAAAAA LIFE, that is! OOP!

they call seven minutes in heaven,

...six minutes in Hell when i play. ;)

*kyley b vc* so schlong, suuuuucka! kissa death incomin' so you betta pucka up. mOthAFuCkA! mWAH ( okay, i'm done being criminally insane and talking about death note posting on main again like fkn femcel...but on that ( death ) note, i take it back...

because l lawliet is my actually my weird lil autistic shawtHE and my anime HUSBAND -- eren #baeger, close your eyes; i know it's nail biter, but try not to bite your thumb, okay, babygirl --

and i know that's a red flag...that's okay,

bc if you see me comin,

You Better Come To A Full

( [ STOP. ] )

tldr; i'm chilling like a villain. don't worry about your uncle nina,

*pats you on the head and gives you $20 dollars* you just keep doing your homework and stay in school, bab...me tho? i've done my time

QUIT TRYNA TO CLOCK ME, GOD!!!!!!

CAUSE I QUUUUUUIT

A LOOONG TIME AGO.

SO RUN ME MY LAST CHECK;

I WANT

GOD-DAMN

/SICK. PAY./

SHIT-DICK.

tbh, being sick is nbd when you're the motherfucking illest; i'm not afraid to die, ( my vision is fucked, and my life flashes before my eyes everyday; like, this shit is basically the club and women get in free, hi ladies ;) and in the wise words of lil wayne; 'i don't see how you can hate from Outside the club...You Can't Even Get IN. ahaha! LEGGO!'

alt. titled i can't see shit, but Look At Me Now, BITCH!

like, idk, i've been mentally ill for at least half of my life,

and nasty bitch for longer -- i won't bark, but you can bite me, bitch. you want your life? you want your life?! aw! sure. Go Fetch. :)

hooOOOo--

...g,od...Da...mn.

OOFffffff.....BROther...

no...yeah, that's fair, baby. i, uh...might actually be jersey kyle, if i'm honest. yiiiiiikes. any weird, goth bitches wanna fuck with me?

ksjdlksjd anyways...get behind me, kids. because, really, maybe i'm manic, but: i'm....not scared of being 'sick in the head' tbh

( again, i've BEEN sick in the head! try harder, idiot! at least the thing in my head is making me stupid on purpose, the thing in YOUR head is supposed to make you smart, so...what's Your excuse, dumbass? )

or, uh....frightened of any Higher Power for that matter; the bigger they are, the harder they fall; and look at that, it's autumn ( or GOTT-EEM! ) and if i can give y'all one last piece of sage, enraged uncle nina madvice: anyone who stays all up in your business, can't get down. but they will. because if push comes to shove...Uh Oh!~ <3

-- tell me, did it Hurt when you fell from Heaven?

because...i may get winded going up a flight of stairs, the hella-vator only has one setting, and i never rise but i always get that bread,

( if i'm funk-le nina and i make disability, is that sourDough? )

in plain english: i'm a slacker, so, again, i never rise: especially not to the occasion, but the game is limbo; so either sink down to MY level or hit the damn floor bitch. i'm an elementary school teacher, so i'm an expert at playground games, ergo: woopsie! i sunk your battleship.

ring around the rosie, they all fall...What?

Hm?

no! really:

i can't Hear very well, so...

SPEAK. UP.

annnnnd...

that's what i thought. :)

-- and it's a looong way down;

So Enjoy Your Trip. <3

alexa, will you do one more thing for me, baby? will you please play get low by lil jon and the far east boyz? because were in the club...

Rem(ember? )

so baaasically, whoever said they we're scared of me, i uh...i get it, i'm sorry skljsddk. in...in a fun way? i...hope. because you don't have to be scared of lil old me, swearsies, i made a place in my class out of yard sticks and blankets, put lots of stuffed animals, pillows, books, noise cancelling headphones, etc. in it and called it the 'The Cozy Corner'

and you, my friend, can stay in there as long as you want. c': i luv you. you are seen, you are heard, ( i can't rip ) but mostly, you are loved.

deeply by me. but otherwise, i'm a little Shallow ( when you've a dead girl walking and got one foot in the grave, is all of your humor... gallows? ) and if you're a man ( or a karen ) i'd start practicing for you rpdr, life sync for your after-life, because...

i'm Death Drop dead -ravenstan spelling words- gORJUS.

( ed tw )

*cunty chanel no. 1 on scream queens vc*

So...

Not ONLY...

Did Your Attempt On My Life FAIL...

ALSO

MADE

/S K I N N Y/.

-uncle kennina mccormick:

keying a massive Dick into the gate of heaven. ;)

( Fuck! With! ME! )

#this entire post #is gonna put me back in the psych hospital #like the whole thing #if you read this...i am sorry #the amount of bipolar in this post is Frightening #also i fear...i am jersey kyle #but also #the funniest person alive methinks #like if u agree #i need to stop talking about death note #leave my taste in anime men alone #i have ISSUES clearly!#*jers on hween* Well...We're Out Of Candy...BECAUSE ITS THREE O CLOCK IN THE MORNIN' YA GREEDY LIL SHITS #PISS AWHFF IM NOT FEELIN TRIXSY ALL OUT OF TREATS ILL I GOT IS THREATS TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT #BUT I WOULD LEAVE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I--#*ravenstan on halloween* ohmygoodness HELLO children of the night or wowza it's almost crimson dawn is someone's mo--#OH HI!!! i'm sta--oh right. band. fam--ous band. ARENT YOU ALL CUTE I MEAN...SO SCARY; AHh-- i--whats up lil man? :)#-GIVES KYLE THE WORST LOOK IVE EVER SEEN-#Apologize. Right. Now.#jk vc bUT HALLOWEEN IS LITERALLY OV--#RIGHT. NOW.#( i'm sorry but i would kword myself ravenstan is so scary like ahhhh nah i'm sorry kids everyone take five dollars? t-ten do--#*rs gigantic beautiful gold fish eye violent pacifist pierced nostril fear of death* kylematthewbroflovskieSJALOQUIN #NOCHEDEBRUJAS¡YSINODALEAESTOS!!POBRE!!!CITOS!!!DUUUULCES!!!!AAAANGELLS!!!UN VERDADEROrEGALO #like OOOOOOH NAH IF RAVENSTAN GAVE ME THE BLACK PUPIL PUNK ROCK SEXORCIST ANGEL OF DEATH EYE #THE SCARY NOSTRIL FLAIR AND STARTED SPEAKING TO ME IN RAPID FIRE SPANISH I WOULD RUUUUUUUUUUN #HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NAH DUDE HES SO SCARY I KNOW KYLE SAD SORRY AND GAVE THEM LIKE FIFTY DOLLARS AND THINGS #OUT OF THEIR LIVING ROOM #IN A PAAAAAAAAAAANIC #dude...me too...i would do whatever that fine scary goth man wanted me to do like sharon taught him a lil brujeria too

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hannah-writes · 5 years

Note

Prompts!!! Well I must take this opportunity ;) So #13 is obviously made for Malex but you've already done it gloriously (though I would not say no to an encore). #22 I like but seems a little obvious... so perhaps I shall prompt #23 for Malex? :D

Hey @saadiestuff, hope you enjoy this!

Whelve; to bury something deep, to hide

Repression was something Alex Manes had become excellent at. The blossom of heat in his chest and his face whenever he saw Kyle Valenti had been pushed away and boxed down so deeply that it couldn’t resurface and Alex was sure that he’d never feel that way again until a curly-haired boy stole his guitar to get his attention and Alex was lost.

He fell for Michael Guerin hard and fast; his love was a base-jump without a parachute, plummeting towards the earth with no fear of crashing because the cushion of the imaginary arms would make it better. His Box of Feelings was bursting at the seams, lid wonky and off-set, the parts of him that he wanted to conceal pouring out of him through cracks in the pavement of his heart. Michael was in the music he played, even before they’d kissed for the first time. Michael was in the air he breathed and in the scratch of the pen Michael chewed when they were in calculus and he was bored because he’d already done the work. Michael was in every beat of Alex’s heart and every scar on his soul and when they kissed that night in the UFO Emporium some part of Alex that had been crying out for acceptance his whole life sang. His harmony was completed and when they stumbled together bright and joyful into the toolshed, mindless - thoughtless - of the danger that would bring, Alex felt completed.

After the toolshed, Michael pulled away. Alex understood; he would have done too even if every part of him was crying out to make it better, to soothe the pain, to hold Michael and tell him that he didn’t care what his father said. He never had done before. But Michael had drifted, distant and angry and hurting and Alex realised that if he stayed in Roswell he’d have to face his father and brothers and the knowledge that Jesse Manes had snapped the symphony that he and Michael had written, permanently scarred it and that things would never be the same and though he could stuff his feelings back into their box it would never truly be smothered even if he watched Michael move on. He looked the Air Force recruitment officer in the eye and signed himself up, feeling the clapping of a palm on his shoulder that was gentle and firm in all the ways it never was when Jesse Manes laid hands.

In the Air Force, Alex repressed again. He closed his eyes and breathed and boxed himself away, closed himself down and pushed the parts of him that bled and ached for individuality aside, slammed everything into his Box of Feelings and ignoring it. He boxed away the raw pain of Michael that tried to scream out whenever he saw someone with curls in their hair or sunlight in their eyes. He boxed away the shame at never having been able to protect someone who had needed it, at having frozen in fear when Jesse Manes took a hammer to Michael’s hand and painted the walls with blood and screams, splattered his face with warm wetness that took hours to feel that he was fully clean of. He boxed away the way that Barnes’ ABUs clung to his ass or the bright way that he grinned with a tongue touching his canine and a perpetual expression of mischief on his face which made his chest and face feel hot, pulse sticking in his throat. He boxed away the parts of him that desired attention and wanted to talk with the boys about men, the way they talked about women. He boxed away the realisation that he’d never walk the same again after his leg was amputated. He boxed away the knowledge that he’d always be the purple heart veteran now, the one who was discharged because he was disabled, defined by his achievements fighting the Government’s war. He boxed away the white-hot anger that sparked in him when he realised that people would look at him with pity for as long as he had that stupid crutch.

Repression was something Alex Manes had become excellent at.

At least, that was what he told himself, even as he felt like he was always bleeding.

ii.

Roswell was a crash landing. The first time he saw Michael at the trailer, Alex felt his Box of Feelings beginning to crack. Smothered in concrete and buried in the desert, the way his name fell of Michael’s lips caused sunlight to start streaming out of the cracks, jolting parts of Alex that he’s shoved aside and tried to ignore to be the person the Government needed him to be. The person that the Air Force needed him to be. One touch from Michael at the tapestry of his fabricated falsehood unravelled rapidly, leaving Alex grasping at increasingly disparate pieces of himself, the person he used to be warring with the person he was warring with the person he wanted to be.

He and Michael collided at the reunion, helplessly pulled together like opposing poles, tangled up inextricably in nostalgia and history and need. Michael pushed and Alex pulled and they danced a dance they shouldn’t know as well as they did, but the steps were natural. They moved like a sonata, a brutal allegro that was triggered by I never look away and the sun on his hair and the universe in his eyes and the cosmic catastrophe of tool shed wasn’t forgotten but it could be misplaced temporarily when Michael’s body covered his and he got to sink his fingers into those curls and just hold on holdonholdon as they climbed to a crescendo together. Again and again and again. And with each euphoric wave, Alex could feel the cracks getting bigger, sunlight and moonlight pouring from the broken, ragged edges of the places Alex hid himself away and he felt it starting to burn away the dark edges of him that smothered the brightness of the person he used to be.

Coming back to Roswell was a crash landing.

Alex hadn’t expected to implode upon impact.

iii.

The universe was unforgiving. Alex knew this from a very young age when the man who was supposed to give him unconditional love and support struck him. When the woman who gave him life didn’t look back when she walked away. When the siblings he admired did nothing lest they become the subject of their father’s wrath and one by one they, too, fled to fold and fit the form of the man their father expected them to be. A Real Manes Man.

He’d noticed it before, a shadow of Jesse Manes, in the way he held his head up. The way he stared down the enemy. The way that he calculated the best possible outcome and took decisive action, not allowing doubt to creep in. In never second guessing something when he’d made his mind up. In ensuring that whatever the outcome, it was the right one. It was the one that was needed, even if the actions undertaken were things that made him struggle to sleep at night.

He’d noticed it before. He’d noticed it the curve of his jaw, sometimes in the set of his eyes. But some time between crashing back to Roswell (and Michael, always Michael because everything comes back to Michael) and the explosion of Caulfield and the knowledge that his father destroyed the only other man Alex had ever looked up to, he’d stopped seeing himself at all. The nightmarish realisation that he was part of a legacy of genocide. That legacy that had Michael wild-eyed and unresponsive in the back of the humvee as they drove back to Roswell, the world on fire behind them.

Alex broke all the mirrors in his house. He went to the Airstream and sat in the dark, fingers laced together, running his apology and declaration over and over in his mind, using the time to force the rampant ugliness of his soul back into his Box of Feelings, cracked and clouded in shadows and doubt, the inescapable knowledge that if he saw Jesse Manes when he looked at himself, if he saw the crack of a hammer and the spiderweb of glass, if he saw the blare of a claxon and the white-hot fire of a failsafe… what did Michael see?

Confessions spilled out of him, desperate and ragged, I don’t even see myself, and Michael looked at him, gentle and understanding but still distant, wild and wired. Blood-soaked - and Alex knew it was his but he hadn’t been able to see an injury - and battered by the storm, the promise of tomorrow stumbled out of Michael’s lips and Alex just nodded. Promised to come back. To be ready.

But Michael didn’t come back and as Alex sat and waited he couldn’t resist the impulse to GPS ping Michael’s phone.

The Wild Pony.

Maria.

Alex felt his box cave in, a sudden nuclear implosion of toolatejessemanestoolate and he closes his eyes.

The universe was unforgiving, it warped your demons and breathed life into them until they stared at you when you looked in the mirror and were forced to face your own reflection.

The universe was unforgiving. It made you look like someone you weren’t, in the eyes of the only person you wanted to love you and forced them into the arms of someone else, leaving you alone in the midday sun, forced to face yourself.

iv.

Repression is something Alex Manes had become excellent at.

At least, that was what he told himself.

He’s the master of putting things away and shoving them into the dark recesses of his soul. The worst pain, he knows, isn’t physical. There’s an exquisitely torturous pain in seeing the man that he’s loved since before he even knew how all-consuming it would be holding hands with someone else, leaning in and brushing his nose over their temple and laughing as they turn into him. He’s not seen that brightness in Michael for a long time, and certainly not when they were together. There’s a soul-destroying truth in knowing that he isn’t the one. He isn’t cosmic. He isn’t the answer to the equation of Michael’s soul, the response to Michael’s scream into the void. He’s not the answer. He’s an echo. He’s an echo of the pain, of the trauma. He’s a sharp reminder of all the things that could have been. An eternity of something almost. Something that could have been beautiful but was broken and brutalised before they were even men.

Alex knows it isn’t all his fault. He can’t control the things his family did. But he caused hurt by walking away, by letting the demons the universe had allowed to grow inside of him, stoked by the fire of his father’s fury, get the better of him. To make him doubt and walk away when all he’d ever wanted to do was stay.

He pushes the pain somewhere where he can’t feel it anymore, shoves it deep inside of himself and locks it away. He uses it as a reminder to do better, to be better, to be someone who wouldn’t remind Michael of the pain and the tears and the fury. To be someone who would make Michael smile in the same way he did when he was pressing a kiss to the curve of Maria’s neck behind the bar at the Pony, causing her to laugh softly and swat at him with a dishcloth, her laugh bright like a bell, her joy bright like a flame.

Alex watches and he burns and he buries his Box of Feelings. He patches up the fractured sides that burst open at the touch of Michael’s lips to his jaw. He plasters over the cracks that formed when Michael’s fingers curled around his hips and pulled him close. He wedges on the lid that popped off when Michael looked at him in the soft morning light and whispered you stayed like it was the only thing he’d ever wanted, and Alex had given him the gift of a thousand sunrises. He forces his feelings further down, twists them and bends them into something that tastes like acceptance and stings like sorrow. They’re supposed to brush against the fingertips of his soul like resignation and acceptance but they come out spiked with sharp defiance.

Repression is something Alex Manes has become excellent at.

He doesn’t want to be good at it anymore.

The first time Michael kissed him, Alex felt infinity. It tasted like hello, the unfolding possibility of forever etched on his lips. It’s a lie to say that he’s chased that feeling ever since because he hasn’t; Alex knows that there’s nothing else like Michael. No one else could possibly kiss him in the way that Michael does. Did. No one else could possibly kiss like they’re trying to give Alex their everything in a touch.

When things with Maria shatter, stuttering to a violent and abrupt ending as the lies got too much and Michael’s hatred of secrets caused him to spill everything to her in a fountain of truth. Roswell becomes the site of the crash landing of their relationship as it burns and smoulders in a blazing encore when she finds out that he’d always loved Alex. The alien revelation was one thing, the cover-up of Rosa’s death another, but the real nail in the coffin, the hammer to the mockery of a relationship that had been scraped together by Michael was the knowledge that Maria DeLuca was second best to someone else. Maria DeLuca, she had told Michael with a jab at his chest, is no one’s second choice. And she’s right. They all know it and she’s angry at them all for letting her humiliate herself when they all knew better. She closes the Pony for a week and shuts them all out.

Alex doesn’t let himself stutter in hope when he goes to see Michael, dragging him out of Saturn’s Rings when he’d had one too many. He doesn’t let himself open to the possibility of something more when he hauls Michael out of the drunk tank the morning after the night before, when Michael looks at him with a hungover, dopey smile, eyes sliding up him like he’s being weight and judged with a look that somehow manages to mix sex and lust and need and sadness together and Alex forces himself not to react. Not to Michael’s soft smile and flirtatious comments. Not to the way Michael leans heavily against him when they spill out of Alex’s Volvo. Not to the way that he can feel Michael’s breath curling over his ear and the gentle rumble of you comin’ in, Private? every time. Not to the way that Michael’s eyes shutter and the hurt crosses his face when Alex replies, every time, I can’t, Guerin, and you know it.

He doesn’t let himself stutter in hope after he hands the ship piece to Michael after fighting with him, spit and fury. Pull your shit together, Guerin. Max and Isobel need you, he’d snapped, snarled, anger pulled from his chest because Michael’s better than the spiral he’s stuck in. He’s better than being arrested three times a week. He’s better than the wrecked mess he’s making of his life and Alex doesn’t understand why when he has siblings that need him, when he has people that care about him. It’s not them I need Michael had retorted, hot and hurting, loose items wobbling around them in the wake of Michael’s pain, raw and laid out between them. It’s never been them that I’ve needed, Alex.

He doesn’t let himself stutter in hope when Michael stands in front of him and puts the ship piece aside and says that there’s no point in leaving because there’s no planet to go to. There’s no home for him except the one that doesn’t want him and Alex can’t reply because he can’t breathe. Michael’s open and broken and in the silence that hangs between them he reads the wrong thing into it and Alex can see the walls rising again, brick by brick he watches Michael trying to pull the shattered shards of himself whole again. Michael’s pieces don’t want to be together. They want to be with Alex. Their broken pieces want to curl around each other and fuse into something better than their separate wholes, broken things patched and mended with a kiss of gold to make something beautiful.

The first time Michael kissed him, Alex felt infinity. It tasted like hello, the unfolding possibility of forever etched on his lips.

The first time Alex kisses Michael, after months of trying to tell himself that it’s better if they stay friends, if they never cross that line again, he feels infinity. Michael doesn’t taste like hello this time, he tastes like home. He tastes like forever. Alex’s fingers push into his curls and Michael opens for him like a sunflower, the shard forgotten on the floor as Michael’s fingers catch on his jeans, tugging him in and their bodies meet in a dance they’ve always known the steps to but spent the last few years out of synch.

“I spent so long,” Alex breathes against the sharp angle of Michael’s collarbone, “trying to just- forget.”

Michael snorts, lifting his head to look at Alex and he presses a kiss to the top of Alex’s head, fingers playing a silent melody up the line of Alex’s spine in a way that makes goosebumps spread over his skin.

“I figured I could bury it.” Now he’s started talking, he can’t stop. Michael’s truth always falls from him without reservation, with desperate abandon he’s always thrown his truths at anyone who’ll listen in the hopes that someone will stay. Alex is done running. He’s done being a disappointment to someone that deserves more from him than he can really give but he’ll do his best. “Push it somewhere so far away I couldn’t feel it anymore. I got good at ignoring things.”

“Alex-” he starts and when Alex looks at him, Michael’s got that fond you’re an idiot expression on his face, the same one he’d worn when Alex had told him that he felt seventeen, the same one he’d worn when Alex had said that he saw his father, the same expression he’d worn when Alex had told him I’ve tried to let you move on, I’ve tried to do it myself but I can’t. I don’t want to. I never want to move on from you, Guerin and that- if you want to, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that so I know it’s real. So I know. The same expression that he’d worn after they’d collided together in a kiss that tasted like forever.

“Don’t- just let me finish. I’m good at repressing things. I got good at thinking the universe was doing whatever it wanted to fuck things up for me because it’s unfair and unforgiving. I got good at blaming myself for- for things that’re out of my control.” He pushes himself up a little, hesitates for only a second before he’s shifting, straddling Michael’s hips and smiling when Michael’s fingers slide up his thighs, continuing the silent symphony against his skin, the maestro of sparks that shuddered up along Alex’s synapses with each touch, orchestrating sensations that mean Alex struggles to concentrate on anything but the way his skin responds to Michael. “And I- I want this.”

He hears Michael’s breath catching, his curls halo his head on the pillow and his eyes, liquid caramel-gold are wide and bright, tentative hope springing somewhere over his expression that makes him look almost boyish and Alex is struck with such a rush of love that his Box shatters, obliterated by the push of fingers up his side, skating over his ribs, when he realises he’s never said that aloud to Michael before.

“I want this,” he repeats, fingers hooking around his jaw, cupping the back of his head, drawing him down into a kiss, “Michael.”

Michael laughs and kisses him again and Alex goes willingly, catching Michael’s lower lip between his teeth and tugging gently, gaze shifting up when they break for air to the bedside table, top drawer, where a small box sits with a ring inside of it, waiting for the right moment.

Repression might be something that Alex Manes is good at, but when it comes to Michael Guerin, he’s never going to do it again.

#malex fic #sadieenables #michael guerin #alex manes #unbeta'd #written right into tumblr #roswell new mexico #rnm #angst but also happy #character study #something something clever #help me how do i tag

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poeedamerons · 5 years

Text

me, I will fall in love with you every single day

Day : Future Fic - Read it at AO3

When Michael wakes up, he is alone in a bright room. He blinks his eyes several times, trying to adjust to the light, hearing beeping and whirring sounds echo around him. His body feels heavy and sore in ways he never experienced before. His ribs and chest ache.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the lights, he realizes he is in a sterile hospital room and the beeping is coming from the heart monitor beside his bed. There's an IV drip connected to the back of his hand, pumping some kind of transparent liquid into him. The room smells like antiseptic, his mouth tastes bitter and his head is throbbing with a headache (the kind that usually followed in the morning after a heavy night before). The fabric of the nightshirt is soft against his skin. He has no idea how he got here in first place. He tries to get up, but his body doesn't budge. Black dots blur his eyesight and he regret his action instantly.

Getting up proves to be a bigger hardship than he imagined, so he settles for craning his neck to the side, searching for where the IV’d arm rests. He tries to wiggle his fingers, and after, his feet. Everything seems to work just fine, and he is glad for that. Feeling a little bit more adventurous - as if he has anything else to do - he slowly raises his arm, careful of the IV lines, and checks out the printed letters on the bracelet.

Michael Guerin.

So that’s his name, he thinks. Michael. It feels strange to have to read his own name from a wrist band, but worse yet is the realization that he doesn’t quite remember a single thing before waking up. But his train of thought is interrupted by a tall man entering the room with a white foam cup in his hands.

The man is attractive, with soft-looking brown eyes, tanned skin and the most beautiful smile that Michael has ever seen. His heart flutters a little at the sight. And what a sight, his mind adds as he notice the uniform the man is wearing.

“You’re finally awake,” his voice is smooth, exuding comfort, but there is a tired edge to it. He doesn't know that voice, but he wants to. The man’s eyes are bright with happiness as he makes his way towards the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Michael's head is pounding, but it seems irrelevant because he's utterly awe-struck by the man in front of him: he's completely transfixed. He thinks he has never seen someone so beautiful in his whole life and Michael has no idea what he is doing in his room.

“I think I know you,” the words fly out of his mouth before he can think about it and a crease forms in the other man’s face, his eyes aren’t so soft anymore. He wants to take them back immediately, that man should only ever smile.

He - Michael decides he's going to call tall, dark and gorgeous 'Handsome' until he somehow manages to get a proper name - bites his lower lip and Michael's overcome with the urge to reach out and ease it free, kiss the sting of teeth better.

“Michael,” the way his name rolls off Handsome's tongue is sinful, even if Michael can hear the worry and tenderness in his tone.He wants to hear his name from this man for the rest of his life. “Do you remember why you’re here?” Handsome asks calmly, walking the final paces to stand beside the bed.

He is even more good looking up close. Michael can see the glow of his sun kissed skin and the deep pink tint of the man’s lips. He is an Adonis come to life, and Michael wonders if he still dreaming.

“No,” the answer slips his lips quickly, too perplexed to form longer sentences. The man looks at him patiently waiting if more words will come out. A few moments pass, and when Michael doesn't say anything else the man laughs, amused at something Michael isn’t aware of.

“You’re still the same though,” mirth clear in his eyes. Good, Michael thinks. “I’ll call for someone.”

“Why?” Michael’ knits his eyebrows, he doesn’t want anyone. He is just fine with tall, dark and handsome. The man’s hands reach for his, squeezing them lightly. His hands are warm and soft.

“Cause it looks like you're experiencing some kind of amnesia”. While that explains why he can’t remember anything, the anxiety in Handsome’s voice is unmistakable.

Handsome reaches for the red button above Michael’s bed, a beeping noise sounds down the corridor. He takes a seat on the chair beside Michael’s bed and that’s when Michael notices the blanket thrown over it.

“Did you sleep here?” He screws up his face trying to remember, but everything is still fuzzy. Hurt. Confusion. Pain. It's briefly blinding, the sudden stabbing through his head as he tries to think past it, trying to remember what happened and it steals Michael's breath, catching inwards on a whimper. The movement feels like an ice-pick through his skull and for a moment he can't breathe. The noise has Handsome quickly reaching up to him. His unoccupied hand massages Michael’s temple soothingly. Michael moans softly as the pain begins to dissipate, slowly, under the gentle, surprisingly knowing touch from Handsome, who snorts at him.

“Oh, I'm gonna enjoy hanging this over your head for the rest of your life,” his lips curl into a smirk before his sips the cup in his hands. “And yes, to answer your question, I did sleep here.”

“Why?” Michael asks. The man puts the cup on the small table beside him, the one with a book and two cellphones on it. He wipes at Michael’s cheek with his thumb, Michael instinctively leans into the touch, eyes closing to enjoy the feeling. Michael swallows thickly, a lump forming in his throat. He has to remember this man, the one that looks so warmly at him and is so gentle. The man whose touch makes him feel safe.

The opening door interrupts their moment and a man in white jacket walks inside. “So Sleeping Beauty finally decided to wake up?” He says nonchalantly, not really expecting an answer. “How you feeling, Guerin?” The doctor asks him, and Michael's guess is that they know each other. Somehow.

Handsome sighs.

“It’s like you expected, he doesn't remember anything.”

“Ah...well,” The doctor’s confident tone deflated a little. “It's like I said, it'll probably wear off in a few hours. A couple of days at most. Don't worry” His gaze turns back to Michael. “You’re here because you were found on the floor of your…. Er…. lab,” His eyes dart to Handsome for split second. “Far as we can tell, some kind of energy blasted you against the wall. You broke a few ribs and suffered a head contusion. That’s why you can’t remember anything; your brain is still healing from the impact.” Michael decides that he likes this guy; he's straight to the point. “You got here in time, so no permanent damage.”

“I found you before the worst happened.” Handsome adds.

“You found me?” Michael asks, dumbfounded, and the man nods. “Can I at least get the name of my saviour? I can't keep callin' you tall, dark and handsome like I am right now. In my mind.” The man flushes and the doctor grins like it might split his face in half.

“Oh, this is going to be amazing. I’m Kyle,” the man in white jacket introduces himself. “Fanboy of all that is going to happen here.” he motions between the two of them.

“Go away, Valenti.” Handsome pushes him away slightly, but it's gentle, affectionate and he's smiling again.

“I will, not because you are telling me to, but because I have rounds to make.” Kyle process to check on his IV. “This is for the pain, we are not letting it run fast because it’s a strong medication. No need to keep you stoned.” He winks. “See you nerds later.”

Kyle struts to the door and steps outside, "Oh," his head pops back in the room and he's grinning, "Update me on everything later, please."

“Go away, Valenti.” Handsome closes his eyes in annoyance.

“Rude.” Kyle sing songs as he closes the door.

“Just so you know,” Handsome stats, “you hate him.” Michael laughs at that, feeling like there's a story behind it.

“Do I?” Handsome nods. “I want to ask why, but I don't know if I'd get an answer seeing as you still haven't told me your name.”

“My name is Alex. Alex Manes.” Michael likes the sound of that. It fits him. Handsome - Alex - looks at him, almost hopeful. "Anything?"

“Sadly no,” he answers gruffly, because he really wants to remember this man.

“As for your other question..” Alex’s eyes fill with fondness and grabs Michael’s foot through the hospital blanket, giving it a light squeeze and holding on. “I slept here because we made vows to each other and I'm pretty sure there was an 'in sickness' clause thrown in there somewhere.”

Michael's eyes widen in shock and a grin blossoms on his face. “You’re-,” His laugh is joyful. “You,” Michael rises from his position in bed, motioning to Alex with an unnecessarily grand gesture but he can't help himself. “are married to me?”

Alex chuckles. “Yes, is that a bad thing?” His brown eyes fill with something so intense that Michael’s heart melts a little.

Michael almost drowns in his husband’s beauty. “A bad thing?” He gasps melodramatically. “Jeez, no, I'm just shocked that I'm married to the most God-like person I've ever seen. Did I bribe you?” Alex snorts, still holding his foot, but his cheeks are tinged with red. His other hand places a wild lock of Michael’s hair behind his ear.

“No bribery needed.” He adds softly. Michael chose a good one.

“So, you’re mine?” He feels as if he is sounding like a broken record here, but he has to be sure. He's way too enchanted by Alex to risk this being a dream, or some cruel joke. Or... that they're only married by some fluke.

“Yes. And you are mine.” Alex looks delighted in saying that, like being able to say the words is the single most important accomplishment of his life. Like Michael means the world to him.

Alex reaches out and cups Michael’s face in both his hands. They are still warm and now, Michael notices, they're a little calloused. Alex's thumbs sweep under his eyes, along the line of his cheekbones and Michael feels, deep in his soul, that this contact is important to them. He's enamoured with that idea, of having something that's special. That's theirs. Alex leans in, his whole face softening in a way that almost sends Michael into a cardiac arrest. The monitor beside the bed beeps loudly and whatever moment they might have been having is lost immediately.

“Whoa there, cowboy,” Alex whispers, so close that Michael can feel Alex's breath on his face. “No need to call all the floor nurses back into the room.” Michael smiles at his husband's playful words, but his heart is still beating at full force. Alex closes in and nudges Michael's nose with his in a small Eskimo kiss. A swarm of butterflies starts fluttering in Michael's stomach. He settles his own hands on Alex’s arms and let his eyes close. They are quiet for a while, just listening to the soft sound of each other's breathing.

Alex’s unshaven cheek brushes against his own, and it feels soft, intimate. Domestic. Michael exhales and breathes the scent of Alex’s hair, taking a moment to admire how their bodies fit together. Michael’s mind is reeling.

Michael thinks, dragging himself away from how wonderfully Alex fits against him, that this has to be hard on Alex, too. He wonders how hard it's been finding his husband unconscious and then sitting for hours in a hospital chair, watching and waiting for Michael to wake up. Hoping he would. It's with a surge of guilt that he wonders how he ever managed to forget about someone as amazing as Alex? How much of a bitch Fate had to be to put him in this position of forgetting them. He doesn't think it should be possible, since Alex has really only given him an Eskimo kiss and Michael's absolute putty in his hands.

Too soon, Alex pulls away and Michael misses the warmth of his breath. He's a little annoyed at himself for failing to steal a kiss; Alex is his husband, after all, and Michael is in hospital. He definitely deserves some kisses for that.

Alex's hand reaches for his foot once more, thumb digging into the arch in a way Michael didn't know would feel so good and it makes his toes curl. Michael sighs, realising now that they'll have to go back to playing twenty questions and that any chance of kissing is, temporarily, off the table. That’s cool, Michael thinks, he can wait the for the perfect moment to reach for his husband’s luscious pink lips. He wonders what they taste like.

“Now, tell me," he rests back on the bed, crossing his arms cheekly, "why don't I like doctor smarty pants? He seemed okay to me.” He shrugs.

Alex grins. "This is gonna be good. I'll remind you that you said that next time you're complaining that he's over for dinner." He lets go of Michael’s foot.

"Nooo." Michael whines. "That was good."

"Yeah,” Alex chuckles, “I know you like it when I do that," his voice is fond and, not for the first time, Michael wants to be able to remember everything about them. Their first kiss, the first time they made love, who proposed… their wedding. He wants to remember all the times Alex probably did this in bed.

Alex’s hand goes back to his foot and Michael sighs contentedly. "You still have to answer me. What's up with the doc?"

"I used to date him in high school." Alex replies, calmly, and Michael feels his eyes widen in surprise.

"You’re right, I hate him." His mouth curls into a pout. He knows that whatever race he might have been in with the doctor he has clearly won, but he still doesn’t like the thought of his husband ever belonging to anyone else but him. “I think I feel better and we should leave.” He knows he is being childish but he doesn’t care.

Alex snorts. "Same possessive fool," Alex leans in again, probably out of a well-honed instinct, to kiss the pout off Michael's lips but this time Michael's ready. He leans up and catches Alex's lower lip between his teeth, biting gently and stealing a proper kiss when Alex gasps in surprise.

His happiness at (finally) getting a kiss is fleeting, though, because Alex pulls back, grumbling his name in warning. “Michael…”

"What? Can't a dying man kiss his husband?" He doesn't regret what he just did, not in the slightest, Alex tastes like sweet lemonade with a tinge of the coffee he was drinking earlier. His only regret is that he didn't get more.

"You’re meant to be getting... excited." Alex's emphasis on the last word makes Michael wiggle his eyebrows.

"Excited, huh?"

"God, you are such a man-child" Affection is written all over Alex’s face.

"And you love me for it."

"Yeah," Alex murmurs, gazing into Michael's eyes. Michael feels like he might get lost in them. "I do".

Alex blinks, breaking the intense stare and looking almost embarrassed at having let himself get carried away. "Still can't remember anything?" Michael shakes his head no. "Is the pain better?"

Oh yeah, Michael thinks, he'd had a splitting headache before. It strikes him that after Alex told him they were married the pain sort of disappeared. He supposes that pain's irrelevant after the world-changing bombshell's been dropped that the most beautiful person he's ever seen married him willingly and loves him.

Michael is high on feelings.

A buzzing sound on the bedside table draws Alex’s attention. He reaches for the phone and swipes his thumb over the screen. Michael watches his expression shift into something indecipherable.

“What’s wrong?” He asks Alex, a little worried.

“There’s nothing wrong, per se…” His voice draggs on a little. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with loads of information,” He's carefully choosing his words and Michael doesn't like it. “But in a few seconds, this room's going to be invaded by a sticky-fingered, pink tutu-clad hurricane.”

He lost Michael there. What is that supposed to mean?

“What?” He asks confused.

Alex takes a deep breath, sitting on the edge of the bed. His hand searches for Michael’s and he can see the wedding band on Alex’s finger. “We have a daughter,” Michael stares at Alex, feeling like something in his brain just blacked out, speechless with yet another mind-blowing snippet of a life he's forgotten. “She's four and she's... she's going through a very intense ballerina phase.” Alex smiles softly. “Her favorite everything is pink, and she calls you papa.”

Michael realises he's forgotten to blink, the slight burning in his eyes reminding him to and he does. Once. Twice. The mental gymnastics involved to try and process the way he's feeling are monumental; his heart's trying to bust out of his chest. He hasn't been expecting to be hit with more information, let alone a child, but he's not horrified by the prospect. He realises that Alex has given him everything and he's just starting to understand fully how frightening this experience must have been for Alex. How lucky he is to have Alex in his life.

He still has no idea what landed him in this hospital, but he swears to himself that he will never give Alex another reason to worry like this.

He raises their joined hands to his lips and presses a soft gentle kiss there, looking up at Alex, eyes shining with devotion. “I’m dying to meet her.”

Alex smiles brightly at that. He looks at the ground before raising his gaze again to Michael and that is the most endearing thing he has ever seen in his life. He is a goner.

“Her name’s Malia. I explained to her that you had an accident and told her you might have a hard time remembering things once you get home,” He shakes his head. “But considering she is almost here, Auntie Is couldn’t control her need to see you.” Michael wonders who Auntie Is s, does one of them has siblings?

“Is she really that eager to see me?” He asks in wonderment that, just outside, there's a tiny human kicking up a fuss to see him.

“Yeah, she adores you, Michael.” He tells him, and Michael suddenly feels reassured.

If she's anything like Alex, Michael's pretty positive she's already got him wrapped around her sticky little fingers.

The door bursts open and, just as Alex predicted, a flash of pink tulle crashes through the room, screeching papa on the top of her lungs. The shrillness of the shriek, though not unwelcome, makes Michael's ears sting a little.

“Malia!” Alex chastises her. “What did we tell you? This is a hospital where poorly people are resting. You need to be quiet.” He catches her hands before she can climb her way up the bed.

She turns to look at Alex. “Sorry, daddy.” Her little voice is apologetic, making grabby hands at him. Alex sighs and hoists her up on his arms.

“Where is your aunt?” He asks her and Michael can see the tip of her lips turning into a grin.

“In the parking lot.” Michael laughs at her answer, catching the little girl’s attention again and she beams at him.

“Don’t encourage her, Michael. She's only like this 'cause you're her partner in crime.” Alex attempts to send Michael a stern look, but he can feel the affectionate and amused undertone.

“Papa and I are partners in crime!” She repeats gleefully. Michael's having another one of those moments where his brain's refusing to cooperate with him, overwhelmed by what's happening in front of him. She's his daughter. His and Alex's daughter.

She looks exactly like Alex, with the exception of her wild, curly hair and green and golden eyes. She probably got them from their surrogate - he assumes that's what they did. He already knows he's a sucker for her cherubic face and huge, expressive eyes.

“Papa,” She leans her body dangerously away from Alex’s, but he has a firm grip on her. He gets the feeling she's more than a handful, and very unlike Alex personality wise. That makes him grin even more. “I missed you.”

He looks at her and he knows he loves her, he can feel it from that same place deep inside himself that told him he knew Alex. “I missed you too, Princess.”

Alex's eyes snap from Malia to Michael, and he watches his husband look shocked, dumbfounded and then very, very relieved. Malia wiggles impatiently, leaning towards Michael still, and Michael realises that he probably uses that nickname for her all the time. He chooses to take that as a good sign, that his memory's already coming back, faster than anticipated. Hah, he thinks, take that, Kyle.

"Okay, Malia, I'm gonna put you on the bed with Papa, but you have to be really careful, okay?" Alex has Malia's attention again, she's looking at him with huge eyes and nodding her mouth pressed together in concentration. Michael thinks it's adorable. "Papa's got some tubes in to help him get better and they're easy to break. So you gotta be a good girl and sit nicely, okay?"

Malia nods enthusiastically, and Michael wonders if she's even capable of sitting still. He watches Alex say 'good' and glance back at him before Michael's scooting over a little, creating some space for Alex to place her down beside him. It's all so domestic that Michael, once again, is utterly lost for words.

“Papa,” Malia started slowly, plucking at the edge of his hospital gown, “Daddy said you forgot some things,” Her bright eyes are fully focused on him. “But you didn’t forgot me, did you?”

“Of course not,” Michael tells her, not hesitating for a second. He carefully combs her unruly curls with his fingers. “I could never forget you, Princess.”

She smiles appeased her that papa did not forget her and curls herself over him, her tiny head on chest, with a dramatically content sigh Michael's sure she picked up from somewhere else. He looks up and meets Alex's gaze and can see his own fondness reflected on Alex's face.

“I texted Is to tell her Malia's here with us, so she can stop worrying," Alex says with a smile, "she'll be by in a bit to pick her up."

Michael huffs, amused. “She's a handful, huh.” Michael can feel her breathing slowing and evening out, and when he glances down, her blinks are getting heavier.

“She's obviously been using the stubbornness she got from you," Alex murmurs, tone teasing as he brushes his fingers through her hair, "to stay awake to see you. It's way past her bedtime. I'm surprised Is didn't end up carrying her in."

Michael has to ask. “And, uh, who's Is?”

“Shi- Damn, I forgot." Alex makes his way around to the other side of the bed. "Isobel's your sister."

“I have a sister?”

“And a brother, Max.” Alex breathes out slowly. “I’ve got brothers too but I'm not close with mine. Not like you are with Max and Isobel.” He gives Michael a look. “We can talk about them later, when little ears aren’t around.”

“Okay.” Michael understands.

“Is was our surrogate, that’s why Malia's hair and eyes are like yours.” Alex speaks again after a silence fell between them, and Michael feels surprised all over again.

“I don't even know what I look like,” His laugh is a little broken. “I didn’t even make the connection.”

“Hey,” Alex says, sharp to get Michael's attention. It works. “Don’t beat yourself up. You're gonna remember everything in time, Michael. Kyle wouldn’t have lied to us. He’s kind of an expert on matters concerning our family.”

Michael can feel his expression shifting into something quizzical, and he knows Alex can see the what does that mean? on his face because Alex is shaking his head and speaking before Michael can.

“Later,” Alex tells him, gentle and firm, "you need to get some rest. You've had a lot of information thrown at you already."

“Only if you lay here with us.”

Alex glances around the room and Michael can tell he's trying to work out if this is a good idea or a terrible one.

“Please,” Michael begs. “It would be nice to to have you both here to help me remember.” He knows he's playing the pity card, but honestly, nothing sounds better to Michael right now than being curled up in a little hospital bed, surrounded by the two people he knows are the centre of his world.

“Fine.” Alex smiles and carefully lays down the bed as Michael shifts onto his side to better share the space, Malia still in his arms. Michael feels Alex's arm slip around his waist, cuddling them both.

“Alex?” Michael asks quietly.

“Mn?” Alex sounds sleepy like Malia and Michael feels a rush of fondness which makes him smile.

“Thank you. For everything,” his voice is trembling slightly, and he takes a breath to control himself. He isn't sure it works. “For loving me and giving me a family.”

Alex buries his face against Michael’s back smiling. “You’re welcome, Guerin” Michael feels the warm press of a kiss against the back of his neck. “Now, go back to sleep.”

Michael closes his eyes and, before sleep can take him, he prays to whomever might be listening: please let me remember everything when I wake up. Please let this be real.

#alex manes #michael guerin #alexmanesweek2019 #malex #roswell new mexico #my writing

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radiohorizon · 7 years

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38 years later

[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: i dunno 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: lmao no 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: i think 163: Hell: yes 162: God: i believe in something 161: Horoscopes: im not sure 160: Soul mates: yes 159: Ghosts: yes 158: Gay Marriage: duh 157: War: i dont really know 156: Orbs: yes 155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: high 152: Phone or Online: depends 151: Red heads or Black haired: dont care 150: Blondes or Brunettes: dont care 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: depends because i love chocolate but it gives me headaches 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: honestly dont care 142: McDonalds or Burger King: burger king for burgers, mcdonalds for snack wrap 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: depends 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA  135: Burried or cremated: buried in the cemetery up the road from where i live 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: dont care 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they? 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: how bout kohls 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam Sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure because im reallllly ticklish on my feet and i end up flinching the whole time 127: East Coast or West Coast: only ever been on the east coast so idrk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney!!! 123: Yankees or Red Sox: how bout Orioles

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: i respect the people fighting for our country and for others, but i wish everyone could just stop killing eachother 121: George Bush: gross 120: Gay Marriage: Gaaaaayyyyyy 119: The presidential election: grosser 118: Abortion: no judgement on whether or not someone decides to get one. Personally i dont think i could, but will always vote pro choice 117: MySpace: never had one so idk 116: Reality TV: can be entertaining but usually really dumb 115: Parents: i love them more than anything 114: Back stabbers: fuck you 113: Ebay: sketchy 112: Facebook: people are annoying and i hate that i live in hick central 111: Work: dont have ajob but am trying to get one 110: My Neighbors: since 3 of my best friends are my neighbors, i guess theyre alright 109: Gas Prices: way too fucking high 108: Designer Clothes: dont care about them UNLESS its converse because thats my shit right there 107: College: start it in 5 months :( 106: Sports: love em but suck at em 105: My family: my rock and support, but they piss me off a lot 104: The future: scares the fuck out of me

[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: a few ninutes ago 102: Last time you ate: few hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: about 2-3 weeks ago at the gym 100: Cried in front of someone: a few weeks ago i cried in front of abby because i found out kelsey has a girlfriend 99: Went to a movie theater: two weekends ago and saw Get Out and holy shit its good 98: Took a vacation: 2-3 years ago 97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago i think 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: little over a month ago 94: Went to a wedding: last summer 93: Broke a bone: never 92: Got a peircing: last spring 91: Broke the law: never i think? 90: Texted: about 2 seconds ago i texted Lacey

[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: My lunch table 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cats and my moms hugs 87: The last movie I saw: i saw get out in theaters but watched thunderbirds for the millionth time in art so im a happy camper 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: getting the fuck away from this place and these memories 85: The thing im not looking forward to: graduating, starting college, moving away, leaving my friends, leaving my animals, growing up, the list could go on forever 84: People call me: elizabeth, beth, bethany, lizzy, liz, bethyboo, bethers, bethy, 83: The most difficult thing to do is: move on and let go 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: pisces 80: The first person i talked to today was: lacey or bea idrk 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one, im pretty good with keeping a good face on 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i have no idea 76: Right now I am talking to: Lace💜👑 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: homicide detective or BAU 74: I have/will get a job: soon hopefully 73: Tomorrow: school, test, paint, facetime this beautiful girl, sleep 72: Today: school, test, painted, studied 71: Next Summer: senior weeek🤙🏻 and hopefully just simple hangouts with friends 70: Next Weekend: Stevenson university visit 69: I have these pets: 2 cats (sadie and ziva) and 1 dog (westen oliver) 68: The worst sound in the world: hearing people chew or breathe hard 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex 66: People that make you happy: my friends and parents 65: Last time I cried: last night 64: My friends are: the only reason im alive 63: My computer is: a Windows something 62: My School: sucks 61: My Car: doesnt exist 60: I lose all respect for people who: judge others with no reason and refuse to be nice 59: The movie I cried at was: if I stay and hunger games trilogy 58: Your hair color is: dirty blonde/ light brown 57: TV shows you watch: criminal minds, shameless, the 100, friends, the fosters, lie to me, NCIS, scooby doo 56: Favorite web site: tumblr  55: Your dream vacation: a lake house 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: recovery after my heart surgery and when they had to take out my chest tubes 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: messy but my favorite place 51: My favorite celebrity is: jennifer lawrence or ryan Reynolds or josh hucherson or Noel Fisher 50: Where would you like to be: childhood 49: Do you want children: yes 48: Ever been in love: ye 47: Who’s your best friend: the twins, fergs, abby, rat pack, stevie, hailey, bea 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: gaining more flexibility 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: jarred 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: sorta 41: Have you pre-named your children: yepp. Daesin, Fiona, tegan and ryan 40: Last person I got mad at: my dad 39: I would like to move to: maryland or deleware 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer

[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: gummy bears and kit kats or smarties 36: Vehicle: jeep Cherokee  35: President: OBAMA 34: State visited: Florida 33: Cellphone provider: dunno 32: Athlete: Misty Copeland 31: Actor: Ryan Reynolds and Noel Fisher 30: Actress: Jennifer Lawrence 29: Singer: Amy Lee 28: Band: Evanescence 27: Clothing store: KOHLS 26: Grocery store: giant 25: TV show: shameless 24: Movie: thunderbirds or chitty chitty bang bang 23: Website: tumblr 22: Animal: monkey 21: Theme park: disney 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: allstar cheerleading or soccer 18: Sport to play: soccer 17: Magazine: dont have one but if i did i guess people? 16: Book: WAYYY too many 15: Day of the week: wednesday 14: Beach: bethany beach 13: Concert attended: evanescence even tho i couldnt see shit 12: Thing to cook: grilled cheese 11: Food: cheeseburger 10: Restaurant: green turtle 9: Radio station: 106.5 8: Yankee candle scent: i dunno 7: Perfume: hollister or ed hardy 6: Flower: rose 5: Color: purple 4: Talk show host: my girl ellen 3: Comedian: john Maloney, kevin heart, illiza shelshinger  2: Dog breed: golden retriever  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeppers

#asks #asks answers #💜👑

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shervonfakhimi · 6 years

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The Kawhi Trade Reaction

Yes, it actually happened. The year long Kawhi Leonard-San Antonio Spurs saga has come to a screeching conclusion, as the Spurs have traded him, along with Danny Green, to the Toronto Raptors for DeMar DeRozan, Jakob Poeltl and a 2019 1st Round Protected that will convey if it is placed outside the Top 20. What does this mean for each party involved? Let’s dig in.

San Antonio Spurs

Let’s start with the Spurs. The market was fairly dry for Kawhi, as ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Ramona Shelburne previously reported. Without getting an offer that included Markelle Fultz, Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum or Brandon Ingram from the three most noted suitors for Kawhi, the Spurs elected to retool and stay competitive rather than bottom out and plan for a rebuild. To quote Jerry Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it isn’t the route I would’ve taken, yet San Antonio has had plenty of success developing non-lottery draft selections and allowing them to gain much needed playoff experience. Heck, Kawhi Leonard was the 15th overall pick and no one expected him to have a championship, Finals MVP and multiple Defensive Player of the Year awards to his name to be left off. Their development and experience matched with Leonard’s outstanding work ethic and stoic demeanor allowed him and the Spurs as a collective to reach the milestones they did. A team led by DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge won’t match the peaks Kawhi helped the Spurs reach, but should help San Antonio stay competitive, make the playoffs and give fans a product to enjoy on the court. Jakob Poeltl gives the Spurs some much needed youth and athleticism in the front court, with some rim protection, energy and savvy on the offensive end. DeRozan is the closest approximate to a primary option the Spurs can realistically find. He isn’t the most efficient scorer (career 44.8% from the field, 28.8% from 3), but has upped his playmaking and should find more opportunities in the finely tuned offense Spurs offense. He can provide and create the offense in tense situations and have every offensive possession not to be a LaMarcus Aldridge fadeaway jumpshot over his right shoulder on the low post, which should ease some of the load off of him as well. If the Spurs nearly won 50 games without Kawhi, getting a guy who just made an All-NBA team should lift them into that stratosphere, even if he isn’t all that great a defender and they lost one of the better role players in the league in Danny Green. DeRozan is realistically the best player the Spurs could’ve traded for if they decided to keep the ship going. Players like Lonnie Walker IV, Dejounte Murray, Derrick White, Jakob Poeltl, can and will still develop under the stewardship of Popovich and his staff. While the status as championship contender can not be bestowed upon the Spurs any longer without the requisite elite talent to win it and many of the faces (Leonard, Tony Parker, Tim Duncan, possibly Manu Ginobili?) who helped sustain this multiple decade-long dynasty are no longer present, perennial playoff appearances with young talent to develop in the arsenal isn’t the worst spot to be in either.

Toronto Raptors

Since Sam Presti quoted A Tribe Called Quest during Paul George’s Sportscenter specials regarding his FA destination, I think this “'nough dollars make sense, while you ride the bench

Catch me swingin' for the fence” Jay-Z quote is fitting for the occasion. Even without LeBron in the Eastern Conference, as he eloped to the Los Angeles Lakers, controlling the Raptors of Toronto the same way Chris Pratt’s character in “Jurassic World” did, the Raptors did not project to be contenders to win the East with Boston returning Kyrie Irving and Gordon Hayward from injury and the 76ers’ marquee talent gaining that much-needed playoff experience. Now, they’re right there with Boston, bouncing ahead of the 76ers but not quite the Celtics just yet. A healthy Kawhi Leonard can replicate DeRozan’s offensive output and then some, paired with not just elite perimeter defense, but perhaps the best perimeter defense the NBA has seen. He is that good. Danny Green’s average ranking in ESPN’s ‘Real Plus-Minus’ statistic over the past 5 years has been 7.4, busting his chops on the defensive end while bringing a sniper-esque 39.5% career 3 point shooting percentage to the 6. Toronto can now play an even faster pace offense with more shooting and a more switchy defense, one that can realisticially be able to switch, at the very least, 1-4 in select lineups with Kyle Lowry, Green, Leonard and OG Anunoby on the floor. They instantly have reasserted (or asserted if you never bought into their perennial playoff charade, unlike me who was duped this past postseason) themselves as Eastern Conference contenders.

But what if Kawhi leaves? The Raptors are prepared for that outcome as well. If they weren’t contenders before this trade, made a run in a LeBron-less East and came up short, would it have been time to blow it up then? Probably. This deal gives them a head start in that direction, shedding the last three years of DeRozan’s deal which pays him above $30 million. According to Spotrac, Lowry, Serge Ibaka and Jonas Valanciunas are all under contract for over $17 million, assuming Valanciunas opts into the final year of his player option, which I would imagine he would. However, all, also including CJ Miles, though at lesser $8 million figure, would be the final year of their contracts, making it ideal for the Raptors to trade them and recoup assets to begin a rebuild that includes promising young players such as Fred VanVleet, OG Anunoby, Pascal Siakam, Delon Wright, and Norman Powell. The privilege and power of a superstar player was what it cost for the loyalty of Toronto’s primary star player in the entirety of its franchise, but it is worth the shot. Jakob Poeltl and a pick in the late 20s can be recouped, but not every day can you swap a DeMar DeRozan for a Kawhi Leonard. Masai Ujiri swung for the fences. It is a bold strategy, lets see if it pays off for them like it did for Sam Presti and Oklahoma City.

Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers sat out the Kawhi sweepstakes, banking on signing him in the Summer of 2019 rather than give up real and spectacular assets to land Kawhi now. That is a risk, considering they did the same thing with Paul George as he proceeded to spurn them and re-sign with Oklahoma City this summer, along with the fact that LeBron is on their roster and the Lakers do not have a roster presently constructed to maximize his window. Its a risk, but a calculated one I believe the Lakers are right to take by sitting out and waiting. If Kawhi truly does want to be a Laker (or a Clipper or Sixer), he will make it happen regardless of what happens in Toronto, a place he, as of now, has no desire to play in, per Chris Haynes. But the Lakers surely shouldn’t have given up major pieces to bring in a player they believe will arrive a year from now, let alone give up a player who’s per 36 minute numbers are fairly similar to those of Paul George and Kawhi Leonard, per Basketball-Reference. Another factor is that Kawhi isn’t the only projected free agent-to-be in 2019, with Jimmy Butler, Klay Thompson, Kemba Walker, Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins joining Kawhi. Magic Johnson has preached patience and it should theoretically pay off after already landing the greatest player in the world. Someone will take their money and join him, whether it is Kawhi or not or the next star comes via trade or Free Agency. The Lakers were right to sit this one out, develop their young players, who, with LeBron running the show, should help keep the Lakers just as competitive any non Warrior team in the West and play for Act 2 of the Kawhi sweepstakes, if there even is one.

Nothing is ever static in the NBA. After all, look at all the player movement just in the last two seasons. Kevin Durant and completely altered the landscape of the NBA, and the rest of the league and its players have been running on treadmills, hopefully figuring that changing the speed means they will catch up. Toronto is gambling that this move gets them to at least the top of the East. It is a gamble well worth the shot.

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radiohorizon · 7 years

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All of them. Please? For me?

Youre killin meeeeeee🙄

200 things you can put in my ask200: My crush’s name is: Lacey😛😍 199: I was born in: 1999 198: I am really: short, tired, sarcastic, idk?? 197: My cellphone company is: verizon 196: My eye color is: blue/grey 195: My shoe size is: 3 in kids, 5 in womens 194: My ring size is: i have no idea, probably small but not too small cause i got far fingers 193: My height is: 5'1 192: I am allergic to: sulfa drugs and grass 191: My 1st car was: dont have one 190: My 1st job was: waitress at a local restaurant  189: Last book you read: King Lear in school but Clockwork Princess for fun 188: My bed is: my favorite and super comfy and my best friend literally comes over just to nap in it 187: My pet: 2 cats, 1 dog 186: My best friend: Andrew, Elizabeth, Abby, Katie, Kristy, Annabelle, Kyle, Hailey, Stevie, Bea 185: My favorite shampoo is: Suave Ocean 184: Xbox or ps3: xbox 183: Piggy banks are: idrc about them?? 182: In my pockets: dont have pockeys rn 181: On my calendar: nothings 180: Marriage is: in my future 179: Spongebob can: idrc cause idc 178: My mom: is my favorite person 177: The last three songs I bought were?Wasted youth by fletcherIn too deep by the sweeplingsIs there somewhere by halsey176: Last YouTube video watched:"50 things about me" by Nina Jablonska 175: How many cousins do you have?A shit ton 174: Do you have any siblings?1 sister and 1 brother that ive never met 173: Are your parents divorced?No and i never see them getting divorced. Theyre honestly the only reason i still believe in love 172: Are you taller than your mom?We're the same height actually 171: Do you play an instrument?Nope 170: What did you do yesterday? Went to school, studied, talked to Lacey, went to sleep[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: i dunno 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: lmao no 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: i think 163: Hell: yes 162: God: i believe in something 161: Horoscopes: im not sure 160: Soul mates: yes 159: Ghosts: yes 158: Gay Marriage: duh 157: War: i dont really know 156: Orbs: yes 155: Magic: yes[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: high 152: Phone or Online: depends 151: Red heads or Black haired: dont care 150: Blondes or Brunettes: dont care 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: depends because i love chocolate but it gives me headaches 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: honestly dont care 142: McDonalds or Burger King: burger king for burgers, mcdonalds for snack wrap 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: depends 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA  135: Burried or cremated: buried in the cemetery up the road from where i live 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: dont care 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they? 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: how bout kohls 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam Sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure because im reallllly ticklish on my feet and i end up flinching the whole time 127: East Coast or West Coast: only ever been on the east coast so idrk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney!!! 123: Yankees or Red Sox: how bout Orioles[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: i respect the people fighting for our country and for others, but i wish everyone could just stop killing eachother 121: George Bush: gross 120: Gay Marriage: yay 119: The presidential election: grosser 118: Abortion: no judgement on whether or not someone decides to get one. Personally i dont think i could, but will always vote pro choice 117: MySpace: never had one so idk 116: Reality TV: can be entertaining but usually really dumb 115: Parents: i love them more than anything 114: Back stabbers: fuck you 113: Ebay: sketchy 112: Facebook: people are annoying and i hate that i live in hick central 111: Work: dont have ajob 110: My Neighbors: since 3 of my best friends are my neighbors, i guess theyre alright 109: Gas Prices: way too fucking high 108: Designer Clothes: dont care about them UNLESS its converse because thats my shit right there 107: College: start it in 5 months :( 106: Sports: love em but suck at em 105: My family: my rock and support, but they piss me off a lot 104: The future: scares the fuck out of me[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: a few ninutes ago 102: Last time you ate: few hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: about 2-3 weeks ago at the gym 100: Cried in front of someone: a few weeks ago i cried in front of abby because i found out kelsey has a girlfriend 99: Went to a movie theater: two weekends ago and saw Get Out and holy shit its good 98: Took a vacation: 2-3 years ago 97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago i think 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: little over a month ago 94: Went to a wedding: last summer 93: Broke a bone: never 92: Got a peircing: last spring 91: Broke the law: never i think? 90: Texted: about 2 seconds ago i texted Lacey[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: My lunch table 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cats and my moms hugs 87: The last movie I saw: i saw get out in theaters but watched thunderbirds for the millionth time in art so im a happy camper 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: getting the fuck away from this place and these memories 85: The thing im not looking forward to: graduating, starting college, moving away, leaving my friends, leaving my animals, growing up, the list could go on forever 84: People call me: elizabeth, beth, bethany, lizzy, liz, bethyboo, bethers, bethy, 83: The most difficult thing to do is: move on and let go 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: pisces 80: The first person i talked to today was: lacey or bea idrk 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one, im pretty good with keeping a good face on 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i have no idea 76: Right now I am talking to: Lace💜👑 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: homicide detective or BAU 74: I have/will get a job: soon hopefully 73: Tomorrow: school, test, paint, facetime this beautiful girl, sleep 72: Today: school, test, painted, studied 71: Next Summer: senior weeek🤙🏻 and hopefully just simple hangouts with friends 70: Next Weekend: towson university visit 69: I have these pets: 2 cats (sadie and ziva) and 1 dog (westen oliver) 68: The worst sound in the world: hearing people chew or breathe hard 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex 66: People that make you happy: my friends and parents 65: Last time I cried: last night 64: My friends are: the only reason im alive 63: My computer is: a Windows something 62: My School: sucks 61: My Car: doesnt exist 60: I lose all respect for people who: judge others with no reason and refuse to be nice 59: The movie I cried at was: if I stay 58: Your hair color is: dirty blonde/ light brown 57: TV shows you watch: criminal minds, shameless, the 100, friends, the fosters, lie to me, NCIS, scooby doo 56: Favorite web site: tumblr  55: Your dream vacation: a lake house 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: recovery after my heart surgery and when they had to take out my chest tubes 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: messy but my favorite place 51: My favorite celebrity is: jennifer lawrence or ryan Reynolds or josh hucherson 50: Where would you like to be: childhood 49: Do you want children: yes 48: Ever been in love: ye 47: Who’s your best friend: the twins, fergs, abby, rat pack, stevie, hailey, bea 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: gaining more flexibility 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: jarred 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: sorta 41: Have you pre-named your children: yepp. Daesin, Fiona, tegan and ryan 40: Last person I got mad at: my dad 39: I would like to move to: maryland or deleware 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: gummy bears and kit kats or smarties 36: Vehicle: jeep Cherokee  35: President: OBAMA 34: State visited: Florida 33: Cellphone provider: dunno 32: Athlete: Misty Copeland 31: Actor: Ryan Reynolds and Noel Fisher 30: Actress: Jennifer Lawrence 29: Singer: Amy Lee 28: Band: Evanescence 27: Clothing store: KOHLS 26: Grocery store: giant 25: TV show: shameless 24: Movie: thunderbirds or chitty chitty bang bang 23: Website: tumblr 22: Animal: monkey 21: Theme park: disney 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: allstar cheerleading or soccer 18: Sport to play: soccer 17: Magazine: dont have one but if i did i guess people? 16: Book: WAYYY too many 15: Day of the week: wednesday 14: Beach: bethany beach 13: Concert attended: evanescence even tho i couldnt see shit 12: Thing to cook: grilled cheese 11: Food: cheeseburger 10: Restaurant: green turtle 9: Radio station: 106.5 8: Yankee candle scent: i dunno 7: Perfume: hollister or ed hardy 6: Flower: rose 5: Color: purplr 4: Talk show host: my girl ellen 3: Comedian: jon Maloney, kevin heart, illiza shelshinger  2: Dog breed: golden retriever  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeppers

#asks #💜👑#only cause she's cute

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