#THE KEY IS A LITTLE REMOTE THAT THE CAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DETECT AND NOT LET ME DO THIS

[hashtag-anthems]

Guess who locked their keys in their car while getting gas 🙃

[wwooyology]

Thrill Of The Chase | J.WY

「pairing」 : bf!wooyoung x fem!reader ���word count」 : 5.7k

「synopsis」 : it was supposed to be a cute and sweet date to the corn maze, so how did it turn into cat and mouse chase with your boyfriend? and what was he after? you of course.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, fluff if you squint, dark romance

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, DARK THEMES!!!, cussing, teasing, dubcon/noncon, crying, wooyoung is just a lil insane, chasing with a knife, wooyoung wears a mask at one point, kissing, sloppy makeout, fingering, clit play, choking, hair pulling, slight bulge kink, spanking, dacryphilia, edging, breast play, slight manhandling, overstimulation, finger sucking, unprotected sex, mean dom!wooyoung x sub!reader, squirting, multiple orgasms, wooyoung is kinda sadistic, petnames (babydoll, babe, baby, little mouse...), derogatory names (slut), slight breath play, begging, knife play, blood play, blood eating, wooyoung is just a nasty freak, biting/marking, rough sex, outside sex, creampie, mentions of wearing a mask in a sexual light at the end, implications of multiple rounds, lmk if I missed anything!!

「notes」 : HAPPY HALLOWEEN BABES!!! 🎃 we can all shout a huge ass thank you to rae for planting this seed into my mind. what she thought was an innocent little thought turned into a huge ass obsession for me. so I gift to you the result of said obsession 🙂‍↕️ I hope that you all enjoy this and stay spooky, my loves, mwah! 💋

now playing ➻ killing butterflies/lou bliss & dead man runnin'/seulgi

It was almost pitch dark outside, the half-moon being the only source of light in the remote area that Wooyoung had taken you to. He wanted to plan a spooky but cute Halloween date for the both of you since he knew how much you loved the spooky season. However, something about a random corn maze in the middle of nowhere didn’t exactly sit well with you. Sure, you loved horror movies, but you weren’t as stupid as some of the movie characters.

But somehow, someway Wooyoung had managed to drag you out here, although he still has another battle to fight. Getting you out of the car.

“Come on, babe, it's really not that bad. I promise.” He pleaded with you, his hand holding onto yours as he gave you his best puppy dog eyes.

The both of you have been sitting in his car for the past fifteen minutes because you just felt uneasy about being in the middle of nowhere, especially at night. Not to mention that there was barely any lighting, meaning one wrong move, and either of you could get hurt. 

“Woo, we literally cannot see a thing out here; we’re gonna get hurt.” You sighed trying your best to not give into his pleading gaze, but you felt your resolve start to crumble when his bottom lip jutted out.

Wooyoung then dropped your hand before turning and reaching back into the backseat floorboards where he had a backpack sitting. Pulling the bag into his lap Wooyoung unzipped it before rummaging around and eventually pulled out a flashlight, a huge grin on his face.

“I bought a flashlight; we’ll be able to see just fine," he told you triumphantly, zipping the bag back up after setting the flashlight down in one of the empty cup holders. You could only let out a defeated sigh, knowing that you weren’t going to be winning this fight. Plus, you were already here, so why not? What’s the worst that can happen?

“Alright, fine.” You nodded your head as you started to unbuckle your seatbelt. Wooyoung let out a loud cheer, causing you to jump before pulling the keys out of the ignition and pushing his door open. A gust of cold wind blew into the car, making you shiver; the hairs on the back of your neck stood tall. Something about all of this just felt off. You couldn’t say what exactly it was, but it was there.

You reached for the door handle, but before your fingers could wrap around the handle, the door flew open, making you gasp softly. Looking up, you found your boyfriend standing there, leaning against the car door, his arm propped on the top and a teasing smirk on his lips. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed his outstretched hand, allowing him to pull you from the car and shut the door behind you.

Standing next to Wooyoung you looked around the area, seeing the corn maze off in the distance. There was an eerie stillness about it, causing a shiver to run down your spine, or maybe that was just the wind. Without the bright sun, it was beyond freezing, the cold wind seeping through your clothes despite the multiple layers of clothing you were wearing. Noticing your discomfort, Wooyoung walked over, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame and holding you close.

You let out a content sigh as you melted into his touch, arms wrapping loosely around his waist, eyes fluttering close as you laid your head on his chest. His warmth instantly ran the cold off, leaving you warm once more.

“You promise that there’s a heater in the middle?” You asked, propping your chin on his chest to look up at him. Even in the dim lighting of the moon, he looked ethereal, and you wanted nothing more than to bite him but refrained from doing so.

Wooyoung smiled before leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. “I promise that you will love what I have waiting in the middle.” He promised, and you nodded, completely missing the sinister gleam in his foxy eyes.

He pulls away from you and grabs your hand before pulling you towards the corn maze. As the two of you walked hand-in-hand, you really started to notice how remote the area really was. If something were to happen, screaming would be pointless because no one would hear you. Goosebumps littered your skin when you heard the sounds of birds squawking off in the distance; that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach grew. You trusted Wooyoung, though; you knew that he would never intentionally put you in harm's way, so you just swallowed the lump in your throat and continued to follow after your dark-haired boyfriend.

“Watch your step, babydoll; there’s a hole here.” Wooyoung glanced back at you as he shined the light down onto the floor under him. You grimaced slightly when you noticed how deep it was, and the thought of breaking an ankle because of it made you shiver.

You stepped around it before following closely behind Wooyoung, not wanting to stray too far, seeing as he was the one with the flashlight and you had left your phone in the car. Another gust of wind blew past you, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand tall, and your lips started to quiver.

“W-Woo, maybe we should just g-go back.” Your teeth clattered as you wrapped yourself around his arm, hoping to pull some of his warmth for yourself again.

Wooyoung glanced down at you with a sympathetic gaze before shrugging one of the backpack straps off and digging around. After a few moments, he pulled out a pair of hand warmers and handed them to you.

“Here, these should help until we get to the middle.” He whispered softly as he made sure you were set before walking towards the entrance of the corn maze.

You followed behind him once more. However, the moment you looked up, you stopped dead in your tracks. The entrance loomed over you as if waiting for the right moment to snap its jaw around you, and the crops looked to be well over a head taller than you. The moon offered no light to the entrance, almost making it look like a portal to another dimension.

You wanted to reach out and grab Wooyoung to tell him that you could just go back to the safety of your apartment and binge-watch all the horror movies you could think of. But he was already a few feet ahead of you, making his way into the maze.

“Wooyoung, wait!” you called out to him as you jogged towards him. Once you were at his side, he glanced down at you with another teasing smirk, making you roll your eyes.

You stayed right at Wooyoung’s side as he navigated the turns that uneasy feeling never going away, and the deeper you got, the more it grew. There were absolutely no landmarks to tell you whether or not you’ve been in that area, only making you even more anxious. 

“You do know where we’re going right?” You asked, a hint of panic in your voice as you continued to walk, eyes flickering over to Wooyoung for a moment. Your stomach churned as the cool wind blew all around you, making the crops sway.

A loud squawk made you jump, latching yourself to Wooyoung’s arm, causing the male to burst out laughing. You glared up at him before slapping his chest, causing him to jump this time and look down at you with a cheeky smile. However, in the dim lighting, it made it look far more sinister, only making your heart race more.

“Ya know, for someone who loves horror movies, you sure are jumpy.” He teased, poking your side, and you slapped his hand away. Your heart was still hammering under your ribcage as you held onto Wooyoung’s arm tightly.

“I like to watch them, Woo, not become a part of one," you told him, sas tainting your tone, and he shook his head. 

Your eyes continued to scan your surroundings as the two of you walked even deeper into the maze. Glancing back at the way you came, you weren’t too sure if you would even be able to find your way back out. Your heart continued to thump erratically in your chest as the unease crept back in, sinking its claws deeper and deeper until you were almost ready to tell Wooyoung to forget about this whole thing.

Just as you were about to open your mouth, Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, his hands patting down his pockets. You released his arm to let him look for whatever it was he was searching for, but never straying too far. He cursed under his breath before looking over at you and holding out the flashlight.

“Hold this for a second," he said. You quickly grabbed it and pointed down at the ground, where he crouched down, his backpack now in his hands.

Your lips curled inward as you watched him, wondering what it was that he was looking for. The both of you had agreed to leave your phones in the car to just enjoy each other's company so you weren’t too sure. Then the sound of a twig snapping and shuffling from behind you made your body freeze before turning to shine the light in the direction you heard the noises from, completely forgetting about Wooyoung for a second. Your heart started to race as you tried to look between the tall stalks of corn, but you couldn’t see a thing. Swallowing thickly, you continued to look, wanting to make sure that it was just your mind playing tricks on you and not something you should actually be worried about.

“Woo, did you hear that?” Your voice shook as you called out to your boyfriend; however, when you didn’t receive a response, your blood ran cold.

Spinning back around, you found the spot where Wooyoung once stood was empty, and he was nowhere to be seen. Your breathing started to grow rapidly as you whipped around in every direction, trying to find your boyfriend.

“Wooyoung, if this is one of your pranks, it’s not funny.” You called out, tears burning your eyes as your hands shook.

The air around you started to grow heavy as you tried to retrace your steps, thinking that he was hiding around one of the bends, waiting for the perfect time to jump out and scare you. You held back tears as the wind blew around you, blowing your hair into your face. Then suddenly, the flashlight started to flicker, and your heart dropped.

“No, no, no, no, you stupid thing.” You cried as you smacked the palm of your hand with the flashlight, hoping to steady the light, but it was no use as it shut off completely. Leaving you in complete darkness.

Your heart started to beat erratically as you tried to get the stupid thing to turn back on, tears dripping from your eyelashes, “please turn back on.” Pleas and cries fell from your lips as you desperately tried to get the flashlight to work once more.

The hairs on the back of your neck rose as your body went rigid when you felt a presence behind you. Your brain was yelling at you to run and get as far away as possible, but your legs were glued to the ground, unable to move.

“Run.” A voice spoke right into your ear, making you scream, and more tears spilled from your eyes. Before your mind could register it, your legs were moving you deeper into the maze, running around the bends and narrowly dodging some of the looming corn stalks. 

Tears ran down your flushed cheeks as you ran until you ended up in a dead end, causing you to cry out, hands shaking violently.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” You screamed, turning to go back the way you came, but stopped dead in your tracks when you saw someone standing there.

Your ears started to ring, feet shuffling away as your eyes landed on the mask they were wearing. It was a Japanese Oni mask. Your fingers tightened around the flashlight as you backed away, a small scream leaving your lip when you stumbled and they started to walk towards you. That’s when you noticed the moonlight gleaming off of an object in their hand, and your blood ran cold. 

They were holding a knife.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you stumbled back until you felt the corn stalks at your back, meaning you had nowhere else to go. Tears continued to fall from the corner of your eyes as you watched them get closer until they stopped.

“I wanna play a little game…” They finally spoke, causing you to flinch, the mask muffling their voice, making it hard to disconcert who it was. You didn’t say a word as you watched them bring the knife up, head turned to look at it before snapping back to you. “A game of tag, hmm.” They hummed as they moved even closer to you, almost within an arm's reach. Your body then froze, jaw tight as they brought the knife up to your face, the point dangerously close to your cheek. “I’ll give you a ten-second head start, but…” Their hand wrapped around your throat before you could even blink, a gasp falling from your lips as they brought you closer to them. “If I catch you, then I can’t promise that I’ll be gentle.”

Your heart started to hammer in your chest as you realized that this was just some sick and twisted game, but it was the only way you could get out alive. Or so you thought, at least. Just then, the wind blew, and the scent of a familiar cologne washed over your senses, causing your body to go rigid.

“W-Wooyoung?” Your eyes went wind, hands wrapping around his wrist. 

Under the mask, a deep chuckle could be heard, his grip growing tighter, but just enough to make you whimper. He stayed silent for a moment longer, gauging your reaction and loving the fear and confusion in your eyes.

“What do you say babydoll?” The use of his normal pet name for you made your stomach churn, and some of the fear started to fade away. You swallowed thickly, looking at him with wide eyes, but the words wouldn’t leave your tongue. “Wanna play a game?” 

His voice dropped an octave causing your mind to swirl, lighting a fire in the pit of your stomach. However, fear starts to etch itself into your skin once more. A part of you wanted to yell at him that this little joke of his wasn’t funny and that you wanted to go home. The other part of you wanted to know what he was going to do, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Now…” He released your neck, allowing you to breathe properly, and stepped to the side, “Run along little mouse.”

You didn’t even think twice before you took off running once more, not bothering to look behind you. Even as fear coursed through your veins, you couldn’t help but also feel excited; something about it made your stomach flutter.

You tried to remember which way you came from, hoping that maybe if you got to the car, you would win Wooyoung’s little game. Yet you were sure it wasn’t that simple because finding your way out seemed almost impossible as you rounded another corner. Everything in this damn maze looked the same, and it infuriated you, tears streaming down your face.

The area around you was quiet, and it gave you a bad feeling, seeing as you were sure that ten seconds had already passed. However, glancing over your shoulder you didn’t see any sign of your masked boyfriend. You weren’t sure whether to be worried or relieved, but you did know that you weren’t going to stop.

A cry of relief fell from your lips when the flashlight finally kicked back on, allowing you to see the path in front of you. Using the light, you navigated through the maze; the cold no longer bothers you due to adrenaline. Tears continued to silently drip from your eyelashes as you rounded yet another corner, but this time you stopped short when you noticed a lantern sitting in the middle of an opening. Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest as you moved closer.

‘Maybe this is the center…?’ You thought to yourself as you took careful steps, unsure of what could be lying beyond the threshold. With each step, you started to feel more and more uneasy, a voice in the back of your mind screaming danger.

The sound of a twig snapping behind you made you turn around, your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach, and a scream erupted from your lips. Wooyoung was standing mere inches away, no longer wearing the mask, and a sinister smirk playing on his lips. He quickly slapped a hand over your mouth, muffling your screams as you fought against his hold, forcing you down to the ground.

“I caught you babydoll. You lose.” He chuckled, making you lay flat on the ground, his hand still firmly placed over your mouth. You tried to use your hands to push him off, muffled screams echoing in the dimly lit area. “Scream all you want, but no one is gonna hear you.” His voice taunted you as he grabbed both of your wrists in his hands, pinning them above your head, “Now, are you gonna be a good girl and take your punishment, or are we gonna have to do this the hard way?” He asked, a sinister gleam in his eyes as he stared down at you.

Your heart was hammering against your ribs as you stared up at him with misty eyes, fear settling into your bones. Fighting against his hold was pointless; he was too strong—he was always too strong. So you stopped trying, causing Wooyoung to smirk, moving his hands from your mouth, watching in sick amusement as your lips trembled.

“Good girl.” He cooed, leaning closer to your face. Your eyes fluttered as his warm breath washed over your face. His free hand then moved down to your neck, fingers tracing your jugular, leaving behind goosebumps in their wake.

“W-Woo…” Your voice shook as you called out to him, eyes opening once more to find his dark orbs already on you. The way his gaze bore into you left you squirming underneath him, and despite the fear that had its claws sunk into your brain, there was a burning desire in your gut.

“Shhh, little mouse.” He ghosted his lips over yours, and your eyes fluttered shut, awaiting his kiss, but it never came. Wooyoung pulled away from you, a smug smirk playing on his lips as he watched you chase after him, but you could only move so far with his hold on you. The smirk then dropped from his lip before his hand wrapped around your throat, causing a sharp gasp to leave your lips, eyes flying open. “You lost the game, now I get to claim my prize.”

Then, in the blink of an eye, he released your wrists and flipped you over onto your stomach. You tried to turn your head to look at him, but he was quick to grab the back of your neck and held you down in place. His free hand then trailed down your back before he looped his fingers around the waistband of your bottoms and tugged harshly.

“Woo, wait!” You cried out, not ready for the cold to bite at your bare skin as he peeled your pants from your body, a gasp leaving your lips from the sudden chill. The ground was rough against your bare legs as you squirmed in his hold until a stinging pain erupted from your ass.

“Stop moving,” Wooyoung growled, his hand pressing flat on the small of your back, halting all of your movements.

Tears stung in your eyes as you bit your lip, trying to keep from letting any noises slip. The burning sensation was soothed by the cold wind, but it didn’t last long when he delivered a few more sharp smacks to the plump flesh of your ass. Small cries and whimpers left your lips every time his hand came into contact with your skin until he stopped squeezing your ass. His fingers then moved down to your thighs, pulling your legs apart despite your protests.

“You’re such a dirty slut, look at how wet you are.” He taunted you, his fingers dipping between your folds. Your legs snapped shut around his hand when he brushed over your aching clit, this action only angering the dark-haired male. A cry tore from your lips when he slapped your thigh, tears dripping from your eyelashes. “Keep your legs open.” The growl in his voice only left you dripping more with arousal.

“Woo–”

“Shut up and spread your legs.” He demanded, his fingers around your neck tightening, making you whine. A part of you screamed at you to go against him, but the other, louder part of you told you to just listen, and maybe he’ll go easy on you. So you did as told, spreading your legs and allowing his hand to slip back down to your drenched core. “I told you I wasn’t gonna be nice if I caught you, babydoll.” 

Without any warning, he plunged his finger into you, a loud moan falling from your lips as he fucked his digit into you at a merciless pace. You then slapped your hands over your mouth to muffle your moans, causing Wooyoung to chuckle darkly.

“I already told you no one can hear you out here.” He whispered as he leaned down to brush his lips against your ear. You let out another cry of his name when he added a second finger into your soaping heat, scissoring you open.

“Fuck!” You cried out, pleasure washing over your entire being as he continued to roughly fuck his fingers into you. White spots started to dance across your vision as your high crept closer, and because of the hold he had on your neck, making it hard to breathe properly, too.

Just as your high was about to crash down on you, Wooyoung pulled his fingers out, leaving you high and dry. You started to protest but were quickly silenced when he spanked you once again. You gasped at the stinging pain, fingers curling into fists.

His hand holding the back of your neck released its grip, allowing you to breathe properly. However, he combed his fingers through your hair and grabbed a handful. He pulled you up by your hair, causing you to cry out. Your hands flew back to grab his wrist as tears spilled from your eyes. Once you were on your knees, he pulled your head back until you were looking up at him.

“You have no idea how long I’ve thought about having you like this.” He smirked, taking in the state that you were in. Tears streaming down your flushed cheeks, some specks of dirt from the ground were smeared on your cheek and jaw, and god, did you look good like this. Then a dark, sinister gleam covered his iris’.

Your breath hitched in your throat when he brought something to your face. The sharp point of the knife he had earlier traced your jawline; one wrong move, and he would break the skin. You kept completely still as he brought it down your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

“I wonder how pretty you would look covered in blood,” He tilted his head, watching your wide eyes swim with fear. A gasp broke through your lips when he pressed against the sensitive skin of your neck, the blade easily breaking the skin.

Wooyoung watched with a borderline insane smile as your sweet cherry-red blood seeped from the small wound. He watched it as it ran down your skin until it soaked into your clothes, and his smile dropped, annoyed.

You wouldn’t openly admit it, but there was something exciting about him using the knife against you. The thrill that coursed through your veins was unlike anything you’ve felt before, and you couldn’t help but want more. 

The fear you felt before was almost completely gone as you looked at Wooyoung, lust pooling in your blown-out pupils. Your hands then released his wrist before moving shakily to your coat zipper, slowly unzipping it as his eyes watched you closely.

Once your jacket was off Wooyoung wasted no time in hooking the knife under the thin fabric of your shirt before pulling. You gasped when the sounds of your shirt ripping were heard, and the now tattered shirt was split, leaving you in just your bra.

“C’mere.” He growled, tugging you into his lap which you complied, your hands moving to his shoulders. He then tugged your head back once more, moving his tongue along your smooth skin, collecting your crimson blood in his mouth before biting down harshly, making you cry out.

“W-Woo– fuck!” Your fingers tightened around his shoulders as he continued to bite and suck on your neck.

The pressure between your thighs was almost unbearable, and your hips unconsciously rolled against his, resulting in a deep groan. Wooyoung dropped the knife before reaching behind you to unclasp your bra, letting your breasts spill from their confinement.

“Look at you, already so fucked out, and I haven’t done much of anything.” He mocked you, taking in the fucked out expression on your face. His hand then fell to your hip, halting your movements, and you let out a whine. “You wanna cum so badly, then work for it slut.” His voice was low as he released your hair, letting your neck relax.

“Woo…” You whined, but your hips rocked against his nonetheless, the rough fabric of his jeans felt delicious against your aching clit. Spreading your legs a bit more, you fully pressed your hips against his, chasing your high, all while Wooyoung watched with a smug smile.

A gasp fell from your parted lips when he latched his mouth to your breast, nipping at your little bud. A shiver ran down your spine at the sensation, your mind turning to mush as he played with your boobs while you rutted your hips against his.

You could taste your high on the tip of your tongue, and you picked up your pace, needing just a little bit more to finally push you over the edge. However, just before your high came crashing down Wooyoung pulled you off of his lap.

“Woo–”

“Aww, is my little mouse getting frustrated?” He cooed at you, and you wanted to smack him, but you couldn’t even raise your hand before he had you flipped back around. You were on your hands and knees, hips hanging in the air while Wooyoung pressed against your back until your chest was flat against the ground. “Don’t worry, babydoll, you’ll get what you want in no time.”

You turned your head to look back at him, but just like before, he grabbed the back of your neck, halting your movements. Then you heard the sound of his zipper before your body went stiff as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your weeping cunt. Mewls and moans fell from your lips as he teased your slit, and he was soaking in all of your little noises, thriving off of them even.

“Woo, please!" you cried out. The pressure was unbearable, and you needed him to relieve it. Yet he was just toying with you, enjoying the way tears started to fall from your eyes once more.

“Since my babydoll is asking so nicely, who am I to say no? But don’t tell me you can’t handle it.” Wooyoung said before pushing his dick into you all at once, causing a choked moan to tear through your lungs.

He didn’t even give you a chance to adjust before he pulled out and slammed back into you, keeping the brutal pace. Tears blurred your vision as you tried your best to keep up with him, but it was futile. With every thrust, his tip would kiss your cervix, making you see stars.

“Fuck you’re squeezing me too tight.” He growled, free hand holding onto your hip for leverage as he fucked into you, your slick making it easier for him to move.

All that left your lips were moans and cries of Wooyoung’s name, your body becoming unbelievably warm. He chuckled as he watched you lose yourself entirely, but a cocky smirk spread on his lips when he noticed your hips moving back to meet him halfway.

He slowed his movements, “Go on. Fuck yourself on my cock.” 

You mewled as your hips picked up pace, trying to create the kind of friction he was, but it was no use. Pleas spewed from your lips as you started to grow frustrated, and Wooyoung just watched in twisted amusement.

When he couldn’t wait any longer, he released your neck and grabbed your hair once more, tugging you up until your back met his chest. You cried out when he started fucking into you ruthlessly once more, the new angle allowing him to hit your sweet spot.

“Fuck!” You cursed, eyes rolling back when he moved one hand down to toy with your puffy clit. Your legs shook violently and stars danced across your vision when you felt the knot in your stomach tightened to an unbelievable level.

Your volume only grew louder the more he played with your body, and tears soaked your face. They were quieted, however, when Wooyoung shoved his middle and index fingers in your mouth, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “You’re so noisy, baby.”

You wrapped your plump lips around his fingers, tongue dancing along his skin as he continued to fuck into your soaping cunt. He chuckled darkly as he pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, making you squirm.

“God you don’t have a clue what you do to me.” Wooyoung growled as he moved his hand from your clit to your stomach, “this…” he groaned, pressing down on the visible bulge of his cock on your stomach, “this, little mouse, is only part of what you do to me.”

You moaned around his fingers the more he pressed down on your stomach, making you feel every inch of his cock as he fucked you. The pleasure was making your brain spiral the closer you got to your climax. You wanted to beg him to not stop to let you cum, but his fingers muffled all of your words.

“Are you gonna cum babydoll?” He cooed in your ear, and you nodded, eyes squeezing shut and pushing more tears out.

You felt so close, but this one felt different than your other ones. Your body felt like it was on fire and was about to explode in a matter of seconds. His hand then moved back down to your clit, and you didn’t even get a chance to warn him when your orgasm washed over you.

A loud muffled moan erupted from your lungs as you squirted everywhere, coating Wooyoung’s fingers and clit. 

“Holy fuck.” He groaned, watching you fall apart on his cock.

Your whole body trembled as Wooyoung continued to fuck you through your orgasm, but his pace never stopped. His hips snapped into your with more fever as he started to chase his own high and threw you into overstimulation in the process.

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and wrapped them around your neck as you turned your head towards him. His lips then found yours in a sloppy kiss, saliva spilled from your lips. You cried out when he started toying with your clit once more, but your noises were quickly swallowed by his mouth when he sealed your lips with his again.

With a few more sharp thrusts, he buried himself in your cunt, spilling his seed deep into your womb. The warm sensation triggered another orgasm from you, and he let out a high-pitched groan as you milked him for all of his worth.

“Shit, baby.” He whined as your cunt continued to flutter around his sensitive cock, his hold on your body tight. The air was silent as the both of you caught your breath, soaking in each other’s warmth.

Wooyoung let go of your neck, wrapping his arms around your midsection and burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your shaky hand came up to run your fingers through his sweat locks, and you laughed softly when you felt him shudder against you.

“You look like you enjoyed that, "you teased him, and he just chuckled before pulling away, staring at you through his eyelashes. The gleam in his eyes made you swallow thickly, already knowing what it meant.

“I could say that to you too, but you can only blame yourself, really.” He teased, pressing feather-light kisses along your bare shoulder and neck, “You were the one that said it’d be hot to get chased and fucked by a masked man.”

“I didn’t expect you to take it seriously!” You exclaimed, looking back at him with wide eyes, and he just smirked.

“Oh, I take everything seriously, especially when it comes to you, babydoll.” His voice dropped an octave, his hands starting to wander your body once more. “Now, why don’t we try it with the mask on, hmm?” Your body shivered at the thought of him fucking you with the mask, and he could tell when you tightened around his half-hard cock. He chuckled, nipping at your skin with a sinister gleam in his eyes. “You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”

He didn’t waste a second before flipping you onto your back, grabbing the oni mask he was wearing earlier, and slipping it over his face. It was safe to say that you had a very long night in that corn maze, and you couldn’t walk correctly for a few days afterward, but all in all, it was worth it.

Even if you thought you were going to be murdered in the beginning.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[percervall]

amor de me vida

Player: Rodrigo De Paul Words: 975 Warnings: None, fluff Request: Stealing their clothes - he's away and you've been ill at home but you miss him so you basically drag yourself to his apartment/house to wear one of his hoodies and joggers and then he comes home during the night (was supposed to be later that next day) and he finds you cuddled up in his bed, wearing his clothes and he drops everything and joins you and you wake up and you two cuddle and A/N: I tweaked it a little bit, hope you like it!

title's from Maluma's ADMV

---

January was one of those months that always left her feeling run down. Work had been exhausting the past month and today had been a particularly horrible day where everything that could go wrong, went wrong. What made it even worse was that she hadn’t been able to see her boyfriend in over a week due to their conflicting work schedules and missed him terribly. He always knew exactly what to do to make her feel better. Missing him felt like a dull ache in her chest, mirroring the way her head pounded with a headache that had settled behind her eyes. There was no point in pretending she could get any work done feeling like this, so after sending a quick email to her boss, she packed up for the day and figured she might as well go to his house to at least seek comfort in his shower and bed. One of the many advantages of dating a professional athlete was that they had money to spend on top tier water pressure and mattresses. 

After stopping by the supermarket to get some soup and bread, she parked her car in front of his house. Rodrigo had given her a key for situations just like this, where she needed him to settle the ache in her bones. Dropping her work bag by the door, she took off her shoes and carried the groceries into the kitchen. Her phone automatically connected to the sound system he had set up, and the playlist she had put on in the car started playing over the speakers. She made her way to the ensuite, throwing her clothes in the laundry basket. As the hot water hit her skin, she sighed at the feeling of her muscles letting go of the tension that had held them in a vice all day. 

She wrapped the towel tighter around herself and walked to Rodrigo’s closet. They shared a preference for oversized lounge wear and while his closet held about a third of her’s, right now she wanted nothing more than to wrap up in one of his soft hoodies. Grabbing her favourite one, she buried her face in the fabric, inhaling the scent of his fabric softener and aftershave. Smiling softly as his scent enveloped her, she got dressed in the hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, and settled in for an evening on the couch with her favourite series on TV.

+

To say he was tired would be an understatement. Between winning the world cup with Argentina and the starting of La Liga, his time had been spent mostly travelling. The plan had been to travel back from their latest away fixture early the next morning, but the whole team wanted to go home and see their families –Rodrigo being one of them. Ever since Diego agreed, he’d been trying to get a hold of his girlfriend. She hadn’t answered her phone, but when he pulled up to his house he spotted her car on the driveway. His lips tugged up in a smile seeing it parked there. Rodrigo quickly made his way inside, dropping his bag by the stairs to take up later. The house was quiet, but he could tell she was still downstairs by the light coming from the living room.

“Babe?” he called out, voice barely above speaking volumes. He waited a beat to see if she’d answer before moving into the living room. The TV was still on, a streaming service politely asking if anyone was still watching. Rodrigo moved further into the room, picking up the remote to turn the TV off. Turning his face, he spotted his girlfriend on the couch, bundled up in one of his hoodies and fast asleep. She had made herself a hot drink and was still clutching the empty mug to her chest as her head rested on her own shoulder. He couldn’t help but smile lovingly, taking in her sleeping features. Rodrigo carefully took the mug from her hands, placing it on the coffee table, before moving to lift her up. He chuckled when she sighed deeply and snuggled into him as he carried her out of the room. 

“Hey,” she croaked, waking up enough to realise the couch wasn’t moving but her boyfriend had come home and was carrying her upstairs.

“Hey mi vida. This is a nice surprise, didn’t think you’d gotten my texts.” 

“Put my phone on do not disturb, so haven’t seen any come in. Just missed you and your hoodies,” she mumbled, sleep slurring her speech. Rodrigo chuckled and carried her up the stairs. He gently set her down on his bed and moved to his closet to get her a shirt to sleep in. 

“How was your day?” he asked as he handed it to her. 

“It’s been hectic and I’m exhausted. Last month was insane and it’s not looking to slow down any time soon. Went home early today with a headache,” she told him, swapping the hoodie for the shirt. Kicking off the sweatpants, she got under the covers. Rodrigo climbed in as well, pulling her closer. It wasn’t lost on him that she had referred to his house as home, his heart squeezing at the thought of her living with him. 

“I have the day off tomorrow, how about we spend it in bed all day?” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. She hummed in agreement, snuggling into him. 

“That sounds lovely,” she sighed. Rodrigo smiled again, pressing his lips to her hair. He heard how her breathing evened out, body fully relaxed against his. Finally giving in to sleep, the last thought that crossed his mind was that he would ask her to move in tomorrow. Home was no longer a place, it had become a person shaped like the woman asleep in his arms. 

Tags @football-and-fanfics @kostasstsimikass @lfc21

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[white--moon]

It really wasn't supposed to be that deep, just an offhand comment, but Ichigo seems pretty flustered by it. It just seems like further proof that Ichigo really is a decent guy, maybe too decent for someone like Shiro but all hell if Shiro's not going to act like he deserves Ichigo. He kind of smirks, a little amused, by the reaction. When Ichigo turns away from him to be grumpy out the window, Shiro really fucking wants to reach out and touch him, to pull his attention back to himself. He drums his fingers on the gearshift instead. "I know. I'm not actually worried."

He blinks, brows raising in slight confusion when Ichigo turns to him to ask that question. "What? No-" But Ichigo's not done by a long shot and he's stuck listening and driving, his attention ping-ponging between the road in front of him and Ichigo beside him. There's a vague discomfort while it seems like tensions are raising, stemming from being stuck facing away, hands busy, not in a position to properly deal with it if something happened between them right now. Ichigo hits so close to home it genuinely makes him squirm in his seat, uncomfortable. His grip on the wheel is tight enough to make his knuckles bloodless and sharp through his skin. He swallows, jaw tight. And it's a relief when Ichigo starts talking about why he liked his ex girlfriend. Shiro really has no idea why the topic has shifted, but he's not complaining either.

Then the tirade takes another whirlwind turn when Ichigo says he liked the girl for the same reason Shiro likes him. He's wrong. "You're wrong." But it's said quietly and his mouth feels dry and he's not even sure he'll be heard. His jaw snaps shut when he's told to ask that. He doesn't want to ask, because he can't imagine a real answer that makes sense aside from anything sexual. Someone always want something from him and... a part of him just assumes that's the case here too. It's not stopping him from enjoying the ride, but it's definitely in the back of his mind.

But, yet again, this rant is like fucking whiplash. Rollercoasters are probably less twisty and confusing and up and down than this. Because he's really bracing himself to hear what he expects to hear, and that's not even remotely close to what Ichigo says. What Ichigo actually says makes his chest tight, makes his lungs hurt. He swallows. He can't look over any more.

He only realizes he's put a lot of his stress during this rant into the gas pedal when he has to hit his breaks pretty damn hard to slow down enough to make a turn onto his street. "S- Sorry." He mutters. The word feels weird coming out and he honestly can't remember the last time he apologized to anyone for anything, and he doesn't even know if it's for the hard turn or everything Ichigo just said.

Fuck.

He wants to be annoyed and angry about it, because no one talks to him like that. No one talks down to him- But that's not really what was happening and he's not really annoyed or angry. A little shocked, for sure, and entirely thrown off. And tired, especially now. Angry would be easier. He knows how to be that.

When it seems like Ichigo's winding down, he takes a deep breath, holds it for a second, and figures out that he has no idea what the hell he's supposed to say. He lets the breath out, attention cornering toward Ichigo for a brief second before going forward again.

He pulls the car into his lot, taking the turn at a more acceptable speed, though he really considers going right by the complex just for the sake of being able to use driving as an excuse to split his attention and not look at Ichigo. He snorts a breath that's more air than sound. "I don't need anyone to kiss my ass, I'm capable." It's not really as funny right now as it should be, though. It kind of just sounds like he's shitting on himself. He makes a face, parking his car but not shutting it off. He needs a drink. He shakes his head, finally turning the key. "I don't think there's anything wrong with you, and I like who you are." Forced out through his dry throat purely because he doesn't want Ichigo take his silence to mean he shouldn't feel that way around Shiro. That's the only part about Ichigo's rant he kind of liked.

“I don’t feel like it.” He responds honestly. It wouldn’t kill him, he could drive to Ichigo’s place and he would if that’s what Ichigo said he wanted, but since the choice is being left to him, he turns the car towards his place instead of Ichigo’s.

He arches a brow and looks over, but doesn’t say anything. Ichigo says that word like he doesn’t understand what Shiro means, despite that he literally just said it. He thinks for a second that maybe Ichigo doesn’t take him seriously, maybe he doesn’t realize how nasty Shiro can get because he’s really only seen hints of it. But no. Ichigo read off the list of Yhwach’s recreated injuries. Ichigo knows Yhwach, had he died, wouldn’t have even been Shiro’s first body. So that’s not the case at all. Still, when Ichigo shrugs, he’s not sure what to make of it. He suspects this is a subject what will come up again.

“There you go talkin’ about fucking up my face again. It’s like you don’t appreciate how pretty I am.” He’s joking. “Why d'you think I told him not to? Well. More something along the lines of ‘We’re not fifteen, I don’t have a secret crush, I just wanna rail him so fuck off’ but he got the point.” And they both see how that turned out anyway. Fucking Renji. He squints. “Holy shit, that idiot was right.” Or at least saw it coming from a mile away, probably as soon as he realized Ichigo didn’t give in easily. Anyway. He smirks through a somewhat disgruntled face he makes at the idea of awkward surprise dates. “I don’t know what that says about your previous suitors, but clearly it means I’m a fun, attractive and interesting guy.” He chokes up a little laugh, “Those dates musta been terrible though. Gross. I hope you broke the fingers of whoever set you up for it.”

[sugawaraxo]

DOING THE GIVING HEAD PRANK ON THE KARASUNO BOYS (PT.2)

warnings: kinda smutty

characters: shoyo hinata, tobio kageyama, daichi sawamura, koshi sugawara, ryu tanaka, asahi azumane, kei tsukishima, yu nishinoya, tadashi yamaguchi   

find pt.1 here

hinata

- hinata asks you to help him practice spiking since you’re actually pretty decent at setting, despite you not playing volleyball

- it’s not your favorite thing to do, but you help him because he’s your boyfriend and you love him

- but you figured if he was gonna force you to set for him for hours on end, you would at least have some fun with it 

- you purposely mess up a set so that it lands nicely right in between you and him

- you knew he’d try and pick it up, so you just had to be faster 

- before he could get the ball, you were already kneeling down so you could pick it up

- now your short boyfriend looks a bit taller, hovering over you in your spot on the floor

- he looks down at you as if he’s waiting for you to get up, but you don’t

- instead you move your head terribly close to his crotch and smile

- “i- y/n? you, you wanna do that here? in the gym? anyone can walk in.” he says nervously  

- you giggle at his adorableness 

- “no bub, i’m just picking up the ball.” you say

- he immediately goes red 

- “hey! you know what you were doing.” he pouts

- you just laugh and give him a kiss on the cheek before continuing to set to him

- and since you feel bad, you give him a little treat when you get home ;)

sugawara

- he’s typing away on his computer, writing an essay that’s due the next day

- the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table, him typing and you eating

- his brows are furrowed in concentration, he looks stressed

- and that sparks an idea in your head 

- somehow you manage to sneak your way under the table without him noticing

- he’s just THAT concentrated

- and you find yourself in between his legs

- he jumps at the sudden feeling of someone pressing themselves up against him

- he glances under the table at you and chuckles

- “y/n, why are you under the table? what are you- oh.” sudden realization hits your boyfriend last minute and he raises his eyebrows

- “are you trying to give me a blowjob? because i could use one right about now.” he sighs as he sits back, waiting for you to take over

- you felt bad deceiving him like this, knowing how much he would enjoy being relieved by you right now

- but you carry through with your plan

- you move your hands that were placed on his legs up and down his thighs lightly before bending down

- he closes his eyes, anticipating for you to unbutton his pants or something

- but instead you come back up with a pencil in hand

- “just getting this pencil that you dropped for you.” you smile as you hand him the pencil and sit back down in your chair

- he just looks you up and down in amusement and you laugh

- “hm, laugh all you want. it’s funny that you think you’re gonna get away with this.” he smirks 

- and suddenly you’re quiet

-knowing damn well that when suga is done with that essay, you’re done for

tanaka

- you and tanaka are friends special friends

- friends with benefits if you will

- you guys are always hanging out with each other, and every once in awhile, you get a little frisky

- so it’s not unusual for you to just get on your knees and suck tanaka off whenever you please

- he enjoys it

- you enjoy it

- it’s a win win

- but you’ve never not gone through with it, so you can’t wait to see his reaction when you trick him

- the two of you are in the car, going to get some food

- he’s driving and you’re sitting in the passenger seat, plotting your prank

- he’s in the middle of telling you a story that quite frankly has lost your interest, so you decide that now is the perfect time

- you begin putting your hair up in a messy bun, and he gives you a look

- he knows exactly what that bun is for

- “oh shit. road head?” he smirks and is clearly getting excited

- you say nothing, just lean over towards him and he moves his arm so you could have better access

- you fidget around with his pants, him not being able to look at you because his eyes are focused on the road, before finding what you were looking for

- “aha, got it.” you say as you pull his wallet out of his pocket

- “mind if i borrow a dollar?” 

- “are you serious?” he looks at you all frowned up, his tone half disappointed and half confused

- you start laughing at him and he just grunts

- “i really thought i was finally gonna get some road head.” he pouts

- “oh what a big baby, you’ll get over it” you tease

- “fine, no food for you.” he retaliates 

- “wait no, i take it back.”

- “then suck.” he orders, gesturing to his member and you happily oblige 

tadashi

- you know that tadashi has a crush on you

- like a huge crush

- but he doesn’t know that you know

- so you use this knowledge against him

- you tutor him every wednesday because he struggles a bit with chemistry

- ironically enough 

- and you can’t help but notice how flustered he gets around you 

- so you being the terrible person you are, plan to use this against him 

-and he just made it so easy for himself

- he accidently spilled some of the food he was eating in his lap but hasn’t noticed, so you began executing your plan

- “hey tadashi, stand up.” you say somewhat assertively

- “why?” he questions

- “just stand up”

- he submissively follows your instruction

- “i don’t understand what you want me to stand for. is the supposed to help-”

- he notices where your eyes are focused, right on his crotch and he immediately blushes 

- “oh, y/n...i’ve never done this before. you can do it, but i-i’m a little nervous.”

- your heart SINKS 

- he’s so precious

- and now you feel guilty, so you kind of go along with it rather than tricking him

- “well umm, you just made a mess on your lap. i wanted to know if you’d let me help get it off.” you say softly

- he looks down at himself then back to you and nods with a shy “yeah”

- you lightly brush the mess off his crotch with your hand, but even just that light touch makes him tense up

- after that you end up tutoring him in something neither of you expected you to

nishinoya

- nishinoya LOVES going down on you

- like that’s definitely up there on his top ten list of things he loves most in this world

- but even more than that

- he LOVES when you go down on him 

- shit absolutely destroys him and you love it because usually, he’s the one destroying you 

- so when you see a tiktok of this trend, you absolutely HAVE to try it

- you start as soon as you wake up

- positioning yourself as if you’re about to give him head, but just end up grabbing the remote on the dresser beside him instead 

- he rolls his eyes but says nothing in response, so you do it again later 

- you’re both in the pantry, looking for snacks

- you slowly go down on your knees and he prepares himself again

- but you just grab a bag of chips from the bottom shelf and stand up

- he huffs at you and rolls his eyes again, but still no response which makes you laugh but also makes you somewhat frustrated 

- you try for the third and final time but before you could even go through with it, he places his hand on your neck and pushes you up against the wall

- “you think i don’t know what you’re doing? your little tiktok prank? well it’s not gonna slide baby, you’re not gonna get away with teasing me like that.” he smirks 

- you gulp

- uh oh

- nishinoya usually isn’t very rough 

- but every once in awhile something sets him off, like you just did 

- and you just know you aren’t gonna be able to walk tomorrow 

- you were right 

[choking-on-tae]

ATEEZ Reaction To: Going out with their S.O at 3 am because they can't sleep

Anon: Hi hi!! I've been having trouble sleeping lately and I was wondering if you'd want to write some reactions or scenarios for Ateez and their S/O being unable to sleep so they go out and have some cute fun like going to get food, taking walks or going to the park at like 3am and playing music and just generally having late night fun! If not that's okay too! 💕

-🪶

A/N: This is so relatable. I mean I need someone like this in my life and I think everyone does. Mentions of insomnia (obviously).This might be quite long.. As usual gifs aren't mine and credits to the rightful owners! x

Seonghwa

When Seongwa feels you turning for what feels like the 100th time he lets out a deep sigh as he sits up. Running his fingers through his hair as he turns to you. "Okay, we're going out."

You peek your head out from under the covers as you look at him. Eyebrow raised as you try to figure out if he's joking or not. "What do you mean?"

Seonghwa leans down until his face is mere inches away from yours as he says, "This obviously isn't working. And you can stay like this until it's time to get up only getting more frustrated, or we can actually do something fun."

You sit up straight as you push away the covers, letting out a soft yawn as you stretch your arms. "Okay, that seems like a good idea."

Seonghwa smiles as quickly gets dressed, you doing the same as you go outside. You've always loved going out in the middle of the night but don't do it on your own because it can be quite dangerous, but with Seonghwa you feel safe. Seonghwa takes your hand in his own as you two reach the center of the city.

Despite it being 3 am there's still a lot of people on the streets, which makes you feel more at ease. Seonghwa seems to notice as he watches you with a fond smile on his face. Not even 10 minutes later you pass by an arcade and Seonghwa's eyes lit up. You chuckle softly at his reaction as you pull him inside, getting some coins to use the machines as you make your way towards the claw machine.

Seonghwa watches with big eyes as you grab the remote and start to move it towards the plushie you've your eyes on. To your surprise the claw latches on and lifts up the plushie, bringing it to the hole as it falls throught.

Both of you scream in excitement as you grab the plushie, looking at it with a fond smile on your face before looking at your boyfriend. Seonghwa looks at the plushie the same way so you hand the plushie to him. His eyes widen as he tilts his head in confusion. "Wha-" "This is for you Hwa."

His lips spread into a bright smile as his eyes sparkle, looking at you full of love as he takes the plushie from you. He pulls you closer as he wraps his arms around you. Resting his head on your shoulder as he leans in to press a kiss against your temple. "Thank you sweetheart. It's so cute."

You turn your head slightly to be able to kiss him as you feel your heart flutter. "It's my thank you for taking me out. I really enjoy nights like this."

Now it's Seonghwa's turn to blush as he feels his heart flutter, placing his hand on your jaw as he pulls you in for another kiss. "You're welcome love. I really enjoy spending time with you like this."

Hongjoong

Hongjoong frowns when he sees your name lighting up his screen. He looks at the clock to check the time only to see it's 3 am. You're not supposed to be awake so he's surprised to see you calling him.

"Baby? Why are you calling me at this hour?"

"I can't sleep..."

Hongjoong feels his chest tighten as he hears your sleepy voice. You must be really tired. He rubs his face as he shuts down his laptop, this can wait. "Get dressed. I'll be there in 20."

He says, not waiting for your response as he hangs up, grabbing his things and walking out of the studio. Not even 20 minutes later he's knocking on your door. You open it, fully stressed but undoubtedly tired. Hongjoong pouts softly as he takes your hand in his. You lock the door behind you as you walk out of the building.

"So, where are we going?"

Hongjoong only smiles in response as he shakes his head. "You'll see."

The two of you walk around until you arrive at your favorite convenience store. The one that always has your favorite ice creams. You squeal in excitement as you run in, dragging your boyfriend with you as you stand over the freezer.

"I want this one! Which one do you want?" You ask, a bright smile prominent on your face as you wait for his answer.

Hongjoong leans over the freezer as his eyes land on one. "That one."

You nod as you open the freezer, taking out both ice creams as you make your way to the cashier. Hongjoong pays for the ice creams as you two sit down at a table.

"I was gonna pay.." You pout, staring at your boyfriend as you rip the packaging.

"I know, but since I took you out I wanted to pay." He says, flashing you his bright smile as he leans across the table to kiss your nose.

You giggle as it tickles as you feel your cheeks heating up. "Ah you're so cute when you blush!"

Now you're full on hiding your face behind your hands as Hongjoong's laugh echoes through the empty store. He leans across the table again as he removes your hands from your face, looking into your eyes as he smiles at you.

"You don't have to be shy baby. I think you're really cute like this. Even when you're dressed in comfortable clothes and not wearing any makeup I think you're beautiful."

Yunho

Yunho knows you've been struggling with insomnia a lot these days so he isn't surprised to see your name popping up on his screen. He just finished his schedule and was about to go home when he reads your message.

"Are you still in the studio? x"

He smiles softly as he reads your message, quickly replying that he's picking you up as he gathers his things. Not too long after he's standing in front of your door. Soon you open it, wearing one of his large hoodies he's given to you not too long ago. Yunho can't help but smile as he notices how cute you look. Unable to resist he pulls you in for a tight hug, resting his chin on top of your head as he gently sways you back and forth.

"You always look so cute in my clothes. Anyways, are you ready to have some fun?"

"Aren't you tired? You should sleep Yunho. Don't you have a sche-"

"-No I don't. I'm free tomorrow so let's have fun."

He says, grabbing your arm and dragging you with him. You chuckle softly as you follow your boyfriend to his car. Not even 10 minutes later you arrive at your favorite ice cream shop. The mean reasons it's your favorite is because of the insane amount of flavors, and the fact that it's open late at night.

Yunho parks the car as you two get out, making your way inside and ordering your favorite flavors. You're about to sit down when Yunho stops you. "There's a cute park nearby. I thought that maybe we could go for a walk while we eat our ice creams?"

"Yeah that seems like a good idea." You say, a bright smile evident on your face as you walk out of the shop and into the park.

You've always wanted to go to this particular park at night, but were always scared to do so because it's dark and could be unsafe. With Yunho by your side you don't feel scared at all and admire the beauty of the trees. There's a lot of stars in the sky that light up the park beautifully as you're walking through it. Your fingers laced with Yunho's as you enjoy your ice cream.

Yeosang

One thing you and Yeosang share is your love for food, so when you couldn't sleep he thought the perfect thing to do would be going out for chicken, so you did. You sit down in your regular seat as Yeosang moves to sit down next to you instead of sitting across from you. You raise your eyebrow in question when he flashes you a warm smile.

"I just want to be close to you."

You nod in agreement as you feel him wrapping his arm around your shoulder. The waiter comes up to you to take your order as you order some drinks as well. This wasn't the first time you went out to have chicken at 3 am. Since you've been having a lot of sleepless nights lately and Yeosang comes back late from his schedule a lot lately so you've come up with this solution.

Yeosang smiles fondly at you as the chicken arrives. Both of you are practically salivating as you reach for your chopsticks, grabbing a drumstick and taking a bite. You hum as you taste the delicious chicken. Yeosang chuckles as he too grabs a drumstick and takes a bite. His reaction is pretty similar to yours as a bright smile spreads across his face.

You chuckle when you see a drop of sauce on the corner of his lips and grab a napkin, wiping it away as Yeosang blushes softly. A deep giggle escaping his lips as he feels a little embarrassed. "It's fine! I know you're a messy eater."

Now both of you are laughing as you stare at each other lovingly. "Thank you for keeping me company when I can't sleep."

"Of course baby. I would never say no to chicken. And if I can eat it with you it's even more perfect."

You gently hit his chest at his cheesy words as you feel your face heat up. Yeosang feels his heart warm as he pulls you closer, feeding you another piece of chicken before grabbing one for himself. It's little moments like that that he cherishes the most. One on one time in the middle of the night at your favorite restaurant. It couldn't be more perfect than that.

San

There's two things that always make you feel better when you can't sleep. 1: Music. 2: San. So why not combine both? You texted San asking if he's still at the company while you get ready. Not even 5 minutes later you heard your phone beep. When you check it you see it's San saying that he'll be done in 30 min. Perfect. You grab your keys as you make your way to the company.

As you arrive you spot San already waiting for you. He smiles brightly as soon as he sees you and runs up to you, wrapping his arms around you as he holds you close.

"I missed you." He says, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he tightens his grip on you. You chuckle softly as you gently rub his back, pressing your face against his collarbone.

"I missed you too Sannie, that's why I wanted to see you."

San smiles brightly as he pulls back enough to be able to look at you. "Let's go, shall we?"

San nods as he takes your hand in his, pulling you with him as you enter the park. The two of you walk in silence for a bit until you reach a bench and sit down. San pulls out his earbuds as he hands one to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he starts a playlist.

You rest your head against his as you listen to the music. San's hand finding yours as you hold hands while listening to your favorite songs.

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out some of your favorite candy. You squeal in excitement as you grab one, wrapping your arms around his neck as you press a kiss against his cheek.

"You're the best San. Thank you."

San smiles brightly, flashing his dimples as he pops one in his own mouth. Resting his head against yours again as he stares out in front of him, getting lost in his own thoughts as he holds you close.

Mingi

Mingi pouts when he listens to you talk about how you can't sleep again. Feeling bad for you since this seems to happen more often. It's then that an idea pops into his head. "Hey baby, do you maybe wanna go get some food?"

He hears you hesitate for a moment before agreeing. "Okay. I can't sleep anyways so why not."

Mingi smiles as he hangs up, quickly getting ready to meet you at the restaurant. He only has to wait for 5 minutes before he sees you walking towards him, a tired but bright smile spread across your face as you instantly hug him once you're close enough.

Mingi chuckles softly as he holds you tightly. Resting his chin on your shoulder as he just holds you for a bit. Happy to have you in his arms again as it's been a while since he last saw you. Mingi pulls away just enough to be able to look at you and leans down to press a kiss against your forehead.

"Let's go in, hm?"

You nod as you take his hand in yours, pulling him inside as you sit down at a table next to the window so you're able to look over the city while eating. Mingi grabs the menu as he looks over it, checking to see if they still have the special from last week. Thankfully they do. Mingi smiles brightly as he looks at you, pointing at it on the menu as your eyes land on.

"Oh my god they still have it? Let's get that!"

Mingi smiles brightly as he places the order. While you wait for your food to arrive Mingi leans across the table to take your hands in his as he stares at you with a fond smile on his face.

"You know, I hate that you're struggling to sleep lately but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy spending time with you like this. In the middle of the night when there's barely anyone, and it can just be the two of us like this."

Your heart flutters at his words as you smile brightly, unable to stop yourself from doing so as Mingi does the same. The waiter brings your food, causing you two to cheer happily as the waiter chuckles. Telling you to enjoy your meal as you thank him, quickly grabbing your spoons and digging in.

Mingi hums happily as he takes another bite. You giggle at your boyfriend's expression as you take a sip of your drink.

"Mingi." "Hm?"

You rest your chin on your hands at you look up at your boyfriend, a bright smile on your face as you say, "Thank you for everything."

Wooyoung

Wooyoung always comes up with random ideas, so when you're unable to sleep and keep tossing and turning it seems like the perfect opportunity for something spontaneous. Wooyoung turns to face you as he pulls the covers down to be able to look at you. You open your eyes and peek up at him. "Why are you still up Woo?"

Wooyoung smiles brightly as he leans down to press a kiss against your nose. "Let's do something fun, since you can't sleep anyways."

You hum in response as you feel Wooyoung dragging you out of bed. The two of you get dressed quickly before going out. Thankfully the convenience store is still open so you stop by to get some snacks before going to the arcade. It's one of you guys' favorite places so the perfect place to go now.

Wooyoung instantly runs to his favorite game, which makes you giggle. You follow your boyfriend as you watch him throw in some coins and get ready to play against him.

Both of you watch the countdown until it gets the 0. You've a head start but it doesn't lake long before Wooyoung races past you, making you groan. Wooyoung chuckles in response as you continue racing at each other. Finally you're the one who finishes in first place. You cheer loudly as you watch Wooyoung groan.

He really wanted to win but when he sees your happy face he can't help but feel happy for you. "Good job baby."

Wooyoung hugs you tightly as you make your way over to one of the tables, getting out your snacks and munching on them. Occasionally feeding each other as giggles fill the arcade.

Jongho

Jongho is very caring and loving, so when you can't sleep he's over at your place in a heartbeat. You get out of bed and change into something more comfortable to go out. Jongho waits patiently for you to get ready as you head out to go to the park. Thankfully it's not too far from your place so it doesn't take long until you arrive. Jongho wraps his arm around your lower back as you two walk around the park. Because of a festival that's happening soon there's a lot of lanterns in the park, which makes it even more beautiful and scenic.

The vibe is much more romantic as you turn your head to give Jongho a kiss on the cheek. He blushes softly as he turns his head the other way so you won't see him blush. You're having none of it and turn his head to the other side.

"Don't hide from me! You're so cute when you blush."

Jongho blushes even more at your compliment as the two of you giggle. When you reach the middle of the park there's a bench surrounded by cherry blossoms. During the day the bench is always taken, but now it's midnight there's no one in the park.

Which means that you can finally sit on it, so you do. Jongho sits down next to you as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"This is very pretty, isn't it?" He asks, turning his head so he's looking at you.

"It is. I'm very glad we came here." You say, resting your head on his shoulder as you snuggle closer to him.

"So am I, thank you for coming with me. And if you can't sleep again at night, let's come here again. I really like spending time with you like this when there's no other people there to interrupt is."

[narutogwriting]

18

⋇✦ Pairing: Shikamaru x Reader

⋇✦ Genre: smut; NSFW; oneshot

⋇✦ Synopsis: You just turned eighteen and are rebelling against your dad and his new wife. Good thing Shikamaru finds you before some douche can take advantage of you

⋇✦ CW: DARK CONTENT!! NSFW; statutory mention; mean shikamaru; dirty talk; anal mention; slight dacryphilia; cheating mention; anal mentions drugs?

⋇✦ Length: 2.3k+

⋇✦ Inspiration: 18 by Anarbor

“That’s it, baby. Just like that,” Shikamaru praised as he shoved your head further down on his length, hissing in pleasure as you gagged around him. He had your hair bunched up in a makeshift ponytail in one of his hands, using it to work you back and forth on his cock. In his other hand, he held a cigarette between his fingers. Holding you down, your nose nuzzled in the trimmed pubes at his base, Shikamaru took a long drag. He yanked you off of him, causing you to cough and splutter as your lungs sucked in greedy gulps of air.

It didn’t last long before Shikamaru was bending over, blowing his smoke into your face. You inhaled in straight, coughing as it burned your throat.

Shikamaru only snickered as you blinked up at him through bleary eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. I help you out, you help me out, remember?”

You did remember. Part of you was starting to wonder if it was all worth it, but you shook the thought away as you licked at the head of his shaft again. A sharp tug of your hair made you yelp. “What are you, a kitten?” Shikamaru jeered. “Put it back in your mouth.”

How had you gotten here? Well, alcohol had been involved, of course.

“Wanna know a secret?” You giggled from behind your glass as you swirled your finger in your drink. It was only your second one, but it was already going straight to your head, making the room spin. You weren’t much of a drinker, afterall. It wasn’t like you could hang with the big boys, though you were doing your best to.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he lifted his own glass to his lips, knocking it back and wiping at his mouth with his sleeve. “Sure,” he agreed, deciding to play along.

The two of you had met at this same bar a week prior and ended the night with a drunken quicky in the bathroom before closing.

If he was being honest, Shikamaru didn’t even remember your name. He hadn’t expected--or cared, really--to see you again, but when he walked in that night, there you were, already drunk. So if he had to put up with your blabbering for an hour or so before he could bury himself in your cunt again, well, that was a price he was willing to pay.

Placing down your drink, you leaned over to Shikamaru unsteadily, placing your hand on his thigh for balance as you grinned stupidly up at him. “Okay, but you can’t tell anyone.” You slurred.

“That’s what makes it a secret, isn’t it?” Shikamaru couldn’t help but roll his eyes; god you were dumb. If he hadn’t already seen how pretty your pussy was, he wouldn’t even bother talking to you right now.

You nodded, gripping his leg. “Okay… My secret is that I’m not even supposed to be in this bar!” You began to laugh like it was the funniest thing in the world, but Shikamaru stared at you a bit dumbfounded as he felt a sense of nausea turning in his stomach.

“I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean…” He muttered, straightening in his seat. In your drunked state, you were oblivious to his clear disdain.

So you just pushed yourself up, bringing your drink to your lips and taking a sip. “I’m only seventeen… I borrowed my friend’s ID to get in here.

And that was what Shikamaru had been hoping you weren’t going to say. You were a minor. At seventeen, that put Shikamaru seven years older than you. You were still in high school; meanwhile, he’d graduated from college three years ago already. All of this to say that your inebriated hookup in the bathroom was statutory.

Shikamaru felt sick with anxiety wondering who you told, if anyone. Would he get caught? Did it matter than he didn’t know you were a minor when he'd fucked you?

And yet, even in the midst of his worry, the words went straight to his cock. You were clearly in some kind of rebellion, probably a daddy’s girl who was trying to revolt against the good girl image you’d grown up with.

Shikamaru wanted to help with that; he would absolutely ruin you given the chance. Take this good girl and turn you into his little toy.

But Shikamaru wasn’t an idiot; he wasn’t going to risk jail time or the words “sex offender” on his record just for an easy, gullible lay.

So he brushed your hand off of him, pushing himself to his feet. Pulling out his phone, he called you an uber. Shikamaru wouldn’t call himself a good guy, couldn’t care less what you did on your own time, but he figured that maybe if he got you home safe, you wouldn’t retaliate against his rejection and turn him in.

“Come find me when you’re eighteen,” he muttered before shutting the car door behind you.

Lucky for him, that was only a week later.

You’d walked right into that bar clad in little red heels and a tight black dress that had him drooling. All eyes were on you, but yours were only on Shikamaru as you sauntered up to him and his friends.

He was leaning back in the booth, eyeing you expectantly as his friends drooled by his side. You reached into your purse, pulling out your ID and tossing it to him. It slid across the table in front of you, and he picked it up, eyeing it curiously before a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s eighteen.”

You dangled your keys in front of him, the BMW logo on the remote visible to the whole ground. “My place or yours?”

That was how you ended up in Shikamaru’s bed, face down and ass up as he pounded into you from behind. He pushed your head into the mattress as he battered your cunt with his large cock. He hadn’t even taken time to prepare you, not that it mattered much. As soon as he rubbed his tip against your pussy lips, you were practically dripping.

“Couldn’t even wait for this cock, could you?” He taunted as he placed a hard smack on your ass before rubbing his hand over it delicately. “What is it, baby? Those high school boys weren’t satisfying you? You needed a real man?” As if to punctuate his point, Shikamaru pressed his thumb against your tight, unused hole, making you squeal as he pushed it inside. Yeah, he’d definitely be using this hole at some point, too.

You were blabbering incoherently, the noises muffled into the bed as his cock dragged deliciously against your walls. You’d never been fucked like this before.

Shikamaru was rutting into you without rhyme or rhythm, chasing his own high, but you were already coming around him, making him laugh. “And I wasn’t even trying to get you off,” he ridiculed. “You’re just that desperate for me, huh?”

After hammering into you for god knows how long, he pulled you back up, using your hair as leverage to ride you even harder. “Shikamaru!” You cried out, clenching around him again. You’d lost count how many times you’d come.

“That’s it, baby… Say my name…” he grunted, smacking your ass again. “Fuck, I’m gonna fill you up. You want that, baby? Want me to come in this stupid little cunt?”

You really were stupid because you were nodding, squeezing around him harder, practically begging for his load. You hadn’t been sexually active long enough to realize you should be on birth control, hadn't even bothered to make sure he was wearing a condom.

A string of curses fell from Shikamaru’s mouth as his grip on your hair tightened, and his hips began to stutter into yours, and then he was cumming, shooting his load deep into you as he bottomed out. His fingers went to your hips, gripping so hard you were sure they’d bruise. He held your hips tightly to his as he rolled back into you, pushing his cum deeper inside.

“Fuck,” he breathed before pulling out, collapsing down onto the bed. With shaky legs, you flipped yourself over to lay next to him, trying to cuddle into his side, but Shikamaru just shrugged you off.

“So, tell me…” He cocked an eyebrow as he looked over your naked form. You tried to pull the blanket up over yourself, feeling suddenly vulnerable under his gaze, but he yanked it off. “Don’t. I want to see you.”

Reaching into his night stand, he pulled out a blunt and his lighter. Placing the smoke between his lips, he lit it and took a deep drag. “I know that’s not your car you pulled up in. Who’s is it?”

He blew out the smoke, and you wrinkled your nose at the smell. He smirked. “Never smoked before?” You shook your head and then wished you hadn’t as he shoved the blunt between your own lips. “Suck,” he commanded.

You did as you were told, your eyes watering as you held the smoke in your mouth before releasing it, making Shikamaru laugh at your patheticness. “No. Again. All the way into your lungs.”

Again, you did what he said. Your lungs immediately began to burn as you inhaled the smoke, making you cough and hack violently. It seemed like every time you did, it only made you have to cough more.

You were light headed as you watched Shikamaru shake his head as he took another hit. “I asked you a question.”

“It’s my dad’s,” you managed between coughs.

He’d figured as much. You looked like you came from daddy’s money.

Shikamaru was able to coax your situation from you with fake niceties, how your parents had divorced because of your dad’s affair. He’d married the lady not a month after the divorce was finalized. She wasn’t even thirty yet.

So that was where your rebellion had come from. Probably the first hard thing you’d ever experienced in your life, and you couldn’t handle it. You were so pitiful, so clearly lost.

Well, lucky for you a guy like Shikamaru found you. Who knows what kind of creeps were out there just waiting to take advantage of a sweet, vulnerable girl like you?

Shikamaru was your boyfriend now. You couldn’t have been more thrilled. With his smoking, his long hair, his tattoos, he was your father’s worst nightmare. And there was nothing your dad could do to stop you. He’d already hurt you so much, broken all your trust. He was desperate to get back on your goodside.

So when you showed up to dinner one night with Shikamaru in tow, cigarette still tucked between his teeth, your dad nearly had a fit. It was clear by the look on his face; you’d never been so delighted before. But he sucked up it, sticking out a hand for Shikamaru to shake.

Your boyfriend only stared at it.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t smoke in my house.” Your father said.

“Sure, no prob.” Shikamaru dropped the cigarette on your front porch, crushing it under his heel before pushing past your dad into the home. You just smiled up at him sweetly before following behind.

“Nice place you got here,” Shikamaru said, cocking an eyebrow.

Dinner was awkward at best and everything you’d wanted. Shikamaru didn’t mind either. He was more than happy to play along with your antics for a fancy meal. You were so focused on how uncomfortable your dad was with every question Shikamaru answered that you didn’t notice the way your boyfriend was eyeing your new stepmom.

Later, when he had you on your knees in the bathroom as you father and his wife sat in the living room, it was her he was thinking of as he shoved his cock down your throat over and over again.

“Cmon, take it baby. You know you want it,” Shikamaru moaned, head thrown back in pleasure. “You owe me, don’t you? Using me to make your daddy mad. Such a bad girl, huh? Well, I held up my end of the bargain, sweetheart. Now you’re gonna hold up yours. Gonna let me use you to dump my cum in whenever I want, aren’t you?

He took the gurgled moan against his cock as confirmation.

It was a few more minutes of using your mouth before he was cumming long and hard to the thought of bending your stepmom over the bathroom counter. His load spilt down your throat before he pulled out slowly, making sure to fill your mouth before pulling you off him completely and finishing over your face.

He groaned at the sight of your tears mixed with his cum, making your makeup run and smear. The sight was almost enough to get him hard again.

“Better clean up, darling.” He jeered as he rubbed his cock over your messy face. For good measure, he smacked it against your cheeks a couple times.

Nodding and sniffling, you took him in your mouth again, cleaning the cum off of him so he could tuck himself away. “Don’t be too long,” he told you as he left you alone in the bathroom, a mess and covered in his cum.

He wasn’t too worried. He knew that you wouldn’t be dumping him any time soon. Then you would have to go running back to daddy, and he knew you didn’t want that. So you’d put up with just about anything he did.

Including when, a week later, you would walk in on him in his apartment, balls deep in your stepmom’s ass.

Through tears, you would just nod in agreement as he insisted it wasn’t cheating if it was in the ass.

He was nice. He even let his friends fuck you in the ass whenever they wanted, and he didn't get mad at it, so how could you?

Shikamaru loved eighteen year olds. They had so much to learn.

And he was willing to teach.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD: Season 5: PTSD (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister imagine)

As always, I don't own any quotes from 5x01 of Chicago PD!

Your age: 16

Jay's age: 30

Will's age: 32

"I just talked to Ballistics. The bullet that hit the little girl was a nine-millimeter."

"I thought the bangers were firing 45s."

"They were."

"You're saying I shot that little girl?"

That. That was the conversation that was replaying in Jay's head as he sat on the couch of his apartment that afternoon. How could he call himself a cop, a good cop, if it was him who shot that girl? He should've known that there an illegal daycare center there, even though no one could've known, he still should've figured it out somehow. But, he was taking heavy fire and he did what he needed to do. But, that didn't make him feel any better. A little girl was in critical condition and fighting for her life at Chicago Med because of him. It was all his fault.

***

Your mind wandered back to the day earlier in the year when it was your sixteenth birthday...and you had gotten the iPhone that was currently blowing up with Twitter notifications all about Jay.

You had gone for breakfast with your dad because he had completed the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and was doing a lot better. He also had visitation rights after he completed the 12 Steps, so he had the right to see you. Since you were 16, you could refuse, but you didn't want your dad to feel bad. And, from what you had heard from Will who had been going to see how he was doing to see if it was safe for you to see him, he was doing really well.

During breakfast, he had given you a gift. You opened it and immediately recognized the bracelet.

"Is this Mom's?" you asked. "I thought you said you couldn't find it when I asked for it when I was like ten."

"I've kept it all these years, I was just waiting for the right time to make sure you'd be able to take care of it and not lose it."

You remembered playing with the charm bracelet when you were little when it dangled off your mom's wrist. There were a bunch of different charms from places she had gone, such as Mount Rushmore, Washington DC, a record charm that she had bought in Hollywood, and for other special occasions, such as a steering wheel charm she got from her parents when she got her driver's license, a graduation cap she got for graduation which she also got from her parents, a wedding dress charm which symbolized the day she married your dad, among other charms.

"Thank you," you replied as you held back tears.

He'd changed, he'd recovered, but there's still no way you'd go back to live with him.

***

"How was breakfast with Dad?" Jay asked as you walked into the apartment after you had breakfast.

"Good. He's doing really good, Jay." You walked up to him and opened the small gift box you were holding. "He gave me this." You held the box out to him and he smiled.

"Mom's charm bracelet?" You nodded. "Want me to put it on you?"

"Please."

Jay's breath hitched as he took the bracelet out of the box. It was like he was holding a little piece of his mom, and this piece of your mom would forever be with you the moment he fastened the clasp.

"It's perfect," you said as you fiddled with a few charms.

You both sat in silence for a few moments, just thinking about the fact that this was your mom's and it was now yours.

"Ready to go get your license?" Jay asked, breaking the silence.

"Is that even a question? Yes!"

You had taken your driver's test a week ago after completing the long process of going through two segments of driver's training classes, taking a written test, securing your learner's permit, and accumulating 50 or more hours of driving practice with either Jay or Will.

Jay chuckled at your excitement. "You good with how you look? You'll have the same license photo until you're 21, you know?"

"Let me go put on some lipstick!"

"Not that super dark reddish-purple one!"

"Yes, that super dark reddish-purple one! It's my favorite and it looks good on me!" you yelled as you ran to your room.

Once you had applied your lipstick, you and Jay made your way to the Secretary of State with all the necessary documents for you to get your license.

***

"Why's my license vertical and not horizontal like yours?" you asked after you exited the building with your brand new license.

"You get a horizontal one when you're 21. Just makes it easier for us cops to identify if you're underage if we ask for your license. And for bartenders to know you're underage if you try to buy alcohol."

"Oh, okay."

"You wanna drive?" Jay asked you.

"Sure. It's no different than me having my permit, though because you'll be in the car," you pointed out.

"So, you don't want to drive."

"No, I do!"

"That's what I thought."

He handed you the keys and you unlocked his truck. You both got in and you started adjusting the seat and the rearview mirror.

"Don't forget to--"

"Adjust the side mirrors. I know, Jay, I know. We've been through this a ton. Trust me."

"You're essentially driving a missile down the road, excuse me if I get nervous."

You rolled your eyes and started to drive, but when you were supposed to turn right, he told you to go left.

"Where are we going?" you asked.

"The district," he answered.

"Why?"

"You'll see. Just drive. I'll give you directions because we both know you're bad with those."

"Shut up!"

"What? We both know it's true!"

"No comment."

When you got there, Jay told you to park in front of what he called the "roll-up". To say you were confused would be an understatement; you didn't even know what this was!

"It's where we load our weapons and drive out sometimes. It's the basement," Jay explained.

"Where the cage is?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Adam told me about it. And then when you and  Erin were on  a lunch run for everyone, he showed it to me."

"I'm gonna have to talk to him about that."

Once you finished parking, you turned off the car and handed the keys back to Jay. Then, Jay did this weird, complicated knock on the garage door of the roll-up.

"Surprise!"

You were met with Will standing there. Behind him, was a car, with a bow on top.

"Is this mine?" you asked.

"Yup," Will confirmed. "Dude," he said to Jay, "You're lucky Goodwin let me out early."

"2010 Buick," Jay said as you walked over to examine the car more. "Seized it from a mob boss two weeks ago. It was going to be impounded, but Kev's got a really good car guy, so I didn't have to pay a lot for it."

"Wait," you started, "So this is just from you, Jay?"

"My gift is in your driver's seat," Will said and then he tossed you the keys. Somehow you caught them...you weren't the best when it came to hand-eye coordination.

You unlocked it using the fob and opened the driver's side door. There, on the driver's seat, was a box. And, not just any box: an Apple box.

"Is this...?"

"Open it." Will smiled.

So you did and you squealed so loud that Jay covered his ears. "Damn, high-pitched screams...sometimes worse than the sound of gunshots."

"Sorry! I'm just so excited! I can't believe I got a car and iPhone! You guys are the best! I love you guys so much!"

"We figured it'd save me a ton of time in the morning not to have to drive you to school and, if I get called into a case early or stay at work late, then I wouldn't have to find someone to drop you off or pick you up. And, figured I could always track your phone if necessary," Jay answered.

"I knew there was a catch," you answered.

"Always is," Will joked.

"Are there traps still in the car?" you asked, causing Jay's eyes to go wide.

"How do you know about those?"

"I watch crime shows."

"No," he answered. "Made sure that was one of the very first things Kev's car guy did: remove the traps."

"Aw, man! I was gonna have fun with those!"

"And put what in them?" Will asked. "Candy? Those fancy pens you like?"

"One, there's two different kinds I like: Papermate pens and calligraphy pens. And two, a little bit of this, a little bit of that."

"Care to specific on what those might be?" Jay asked.

"Not really."

"May I remind you that I am a cop and can toss your bedroom like--" He snapped his fingers. "--that."

"Don't you need a warrant for that?"

"It's my house, so I can do what I want. And, I hope I don't need to bring charges against you for whatever you're hiding."

You burst out laughing. "You guys, I'm kidding. I just wanted to see Jay's reaction when I mentioned traps! I wouldn't do anything...especially with Jay as my brother. I'm not that stupid."

"Oh thank God," Jay sighed.

"Can we go? A little birdie let it slip that there's a surprise party for me at the apartment."

Will glared at Jay. "What?" Jay asked as he put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I promise you I did not say a single word about it."

"Mhm." Will rolled his eyes.

"Y/N, would this little birdie be Ruzek?" Jay asked.

"No comment."

"I am never telling him anything remotely secretive again."

But now, you kinda wished you didn't have that phone. Because, all over Twitter, there were people who didn't even know your brother who was saying that he was a racist cop and a child killer.

***

You walked inside to see a very distraught Jay. he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. And, even though you could only see one side of his face from where you were standing, you could see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks.

"So, it's true?" you asked. Jay jumped and looked at you. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"H-How do you know what happened?"

You sat down next to him. "Twitter. My mentions were blowing up."

"Y/N, you gotta believe me. I wouldn't intentionally shoot a little girl--"

"Jay, I believe you."

"At least she's at Med. Will said she's got a good chance of making it."

"Oh, you didn't hear." He furrowed his eyebrows. "She passed away. I got a notification about it like an hour ago. I'm so sorry, Jay."

"Fuck," was all he said as he buried his head in his hands and began sobbing.

You wanted to comfort him, you really did, but you had no idea what to say. You knew Jay was a good cop and, whatever happened, you knew that he wouldn't purposely kill an innocent little girl. So, you just put a hand on his shoulder as he continued to sob, reminding him that you were still there.

"I'm gonna go talk to Will," he said as he stood up a few minutes later.

He walked over to the kitchen sink and splashed his face with water and dried it with some paper towels while you walked over to him.

"I'll drive you," you told him. "You're not in any shape to be driving right now. I know you'd tell me the same thing."

"No, Y/N, I can drive myself."

"This isn't up for discussion, Jay."

"Yes, it is. My picture's all over the internet. If someone decides to come after me, I don't want you near me out in public. I need you to be safe. Just stay here. Please." His voice cracked on the last word.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"But please try your best to get home in one piece."

Jay nodded and grabbed his jacket. "I'll be back soon."

But, what he was thinking was totally different. After what I did, I don't deserve to come home in one piece.

***

Jay stormed into the ED just as Will was leaving a treatment room and Will caught sight of Jay and walked towards him.

"You said she was gonna make it!" Jay practically yelled.

"Hey," Will said, quieter, trying to use his trying-to-calm-down-a-patient-voice to hopefully make Jay calm down.

"You said she was gonna..." Jay took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Hey, I said she had a chance, okay? She was in bad shape. Lost too much blood."

"I know."

"There's only so much we can do."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just...the bullet came from my gun. Even though I was aiming at an offender, it went through his abdomen and through a fucking door and into her, Will. Even though it was an accident, I still shot her. I killed an eight-year-old little girl. I killed her."

***

"50-21 George!" Jay yelled into his radio. "I'm taking heavy fire! I got two civilians down in the north alley behind the building."

"This is Sergeant Hank Voight. Advise responding units to shut down a two-block radius."

"Help! Help!"

Jay turned his attention to the building and when he saw it was clear, he pushed open the wooden door and entered.

He nearly choked when he saw what happened.

It was you. You were eight years old, clutching Beary in one hand while Hailey held you and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Y/N!" He had no idea why you were even here, maybe your parents couldn't afford a good, legal daycare center because of your mom's medical bills, but whatever it was, you were here, and you had somehow been shot. He kneeled down next to you and all but threw his sniper on the ground.

"Alright, I'm gonna call an ambulance," Hailey said.

"We don't have time." Somehow, he was aware of where his keys were in his tactical gear. "Go get my car. Fast."

He handed over the keys. "Ready?" Hailey asked as Jay positioned his hands above hers to try and stop the bleeding the minute she removed her hands.

Jay nodded and quickly replaced Hailey's hands with his as she sprinted off to get his truck.

But, then the scene changed.

It became hotter. Jay could feel the dry heat in his mouth and in his throat. He felt the sweat trickle down his face and back. He felt beads of sand on his hands and arms. He looked down to see you resting your head against his leg. And, he wasn't in his normal clothes that he'd wear to work. No, he was in his Rangers uniform.

He had his hands over the same spot on your chest as he had in the daycare center. And, you still had Beary in your hand, albeit a very loose grip on him.

You coughed, causing some blood to come out of your mouth.

"No, Y/N, not like this. Not like this." He removed one hand from the wound and applied all the pressure he could with one hand while he reached for his radio. "This is Halstead to Base." Crackles. "This is Halstead to Base." More crackles. "Please. This is Halstead to Base. I need a med truck now! My sister's been shot." No response. "Please. She's only-- She's only eight years old." His voice cracked. "Please."

You coughed once more and Jay knew trying to reach Base was useless at this point. Jay took his canteen and dabbed a little bit of water on your face and smeared it around, trying to clean the blood off your face. But, as fast as he could clean it, more would come up and out of your mouth.

You let out a strangled breath. Jay knew that sound. That was the sound of someone's last gasp of air that they'd ever take.

"Y/N, please. Please, Short Stack. Stay with me. Help will come. Please, just hang on a little longer."

Then, he saw the all too familiar look of empty eyes in front of him. He let out a strangled sob as he placed his fingers on your eyelids and gently pulled them closed.

Jay shot up in bed with a start. He reached for his chest, feeling for his radio to try and call for help again. It was only when his fingers brushed his bare chest that he realized that he wasn't in the desert of Afghanistan, but in the safety of his own bed, in his own apartment, here stateside, here in Chicago.

He went into the bathroom after his breathing calmed down and jumped into a freezing cold shower, hoping to get the image of an eight-year-old you being shot and killed by his gun out of his head.

But it wouldn't leave.

Jay dried off and then quietly made his way out of his room and over to yours.

He crouched down by your bed and watched as your chest rose and fell, signaling that you were in a deep sleep. You were sleeping on your side and had one leg thrown over the other and a few toes sticking out from under the covers. Beary was next to you. You weren't clutching him like in his nightmare, hell you weren't even holding him, but he was still in your bed. Jay was pretty sure that if that bear wasn't in your bed at night, you wouldn't be able to sleep, despite you being sixteen.

Jay longed to put two fingers to your neck just to check your pulse and make sure he wasn't hallucinating the rising and falling of your chest. But, he knew that was paranoid. He could trust his instincts now. After all, he was awake. There was no stifling heat, no hot sweat (at least, after his shower there wasn't), and no sand. All that was below him was the fluffy rug on your bedroom floor.

He slowly left your room and went back to his. But, instead of getting into bed, he tugged his comforter off his bed and grabbed his pillow. Then, he dragged those two things back into your room and settled down on your rug.

He knew it was probably paranoia, but after that dream, he wanted to make sure you were safe. He wanted to be close to you. Because, God, that dream felt so real.

She's alive, he kept reminding himself as he tried to fall asleep. And, that was the last thing on his mind when he finally fell asleep once more: that you were still alive.

***

Your alarm blared through your quiet room and you rolled over with a groan and turned it off.

"Christ, that was loud. How deep of a sleeper are you?" Jay asked as he rolled over.

You looked at him with sleep still in your eyes. "What are you doing in here?"

"Was a rough night." He yawned. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Okay...?"

"I say ten more minutes."

"Jay, I'll be late."

"I'll drive you, lights and sirens and all."

"Night."

***

"You okay?" you asked around 11:00 pm two weeks later when Jay finally got home from working a case.

"Yeah, just tired," he answered as he went to put his badge and gun away in his room.

"Are you sure it's just that?" you asked when he came out from his room in pajamas.

"I'm sure. Why are you asking?"

"You had that street fair bombing case and two weeks ago, a bullet from your gun--"

"Y/N, I'm fine. I promise. don't you have to get to bed?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday. I don't have school tomorrow."

"So it is. I'm gonna turn in. See you in the morning."

"Aren't you gonna eat something?" you asked.

"I'm not really that hungry. Goodnight."

You knew something was off, but you weren't going to push it, so you just grabbed the remote and started looking for a movie to watch.

***

You coughed, causing some blood to come out of your mouth.

"No, Y/N, not like this. Not like this." He removed one hand from the wound and applied all the pressure he could with one hand while he reached for his radio. "This is Halstead to Base." Crackles. "This is Halstead to Base." More crackles. "Please. This is Halstead to Base. I need a med truck now! My sister's been shot." No response. "Please. She's only-- She's only eight years old." His voice cracked. "Please."

You coughed once more and Jay knew trying to reach Base was useless at this point. Jay took his canteen and dabbed a little bit of water on your face and smeared it around, trying to clean the blood off your face. But, as fast as he could clean it, more would come up and out of your mouth.

You let out a strangled breath. Jay knew that sound. That was the sound of someone's last gasp of air that they'd ever take.

"Y/N, please. Please, Short Stack. Stay with me. Help will come. Please, just hang on a little longer."

Then, he saw the all too familiar look of empty eyes in front of him. He let out a strangled sob as he placed his fingers on your eyelids and gently pulled them closed.

He saw a figure moving towards him and in his hand, a grenade.

"Would you like to join her?"

Jay jolted awake, breathing raggedly. He tried to catch his breath and swallow, but it was no use, the familiar feeling of bile was rising in his throat and he dry heaved all the way to the bathroom before he finally emptied what little was in his stomach into the toilet.

Meanwhile, you furrowed your eyebrows as you slowly opened your eyes. You thought you had heard gagging, but it was gone now, so you tried to close your eyes and go back to sleep. But, then you heard gagging and the sound of something hitting what sounded like water.

Wait, was Jay sick? He never got sick.

You got out of bed and walked over to his room and quietly opened his door. From the dim light of the bathroom, and the disheveled covers on his bed, you knew he was in the bathroom.

"Jay?" you asked as you crept towards his bathroom.

"Y/N, l-leave. Please, just leave me alone ri-right now." You could tell from the sound of his voice that he was panting as if he had just run a marathon.

"Are you okay?"

No. "I'm fine. Just a stomach bug or food poisoning. Go back to bed."

You poked your head into the bathroom. Jay was leaning against the bathtub without a shirt on, with sweat dripping down his face. His mouth was wide open as if he was trying to capture as much oxygen as was humanly possible.

"Maybe I should call Will. I don't think he's on shift."

"Y/N, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. You don't look fine at all."

"Y/N, go back to bed. Now."

"But--"

"I said go to bed! So how about you listen for once and just fucking do that? Jesus!"

Your breath caught in your throat. You'd never heard him yell like that...not directed at you at least.

"O-Okay."

You trudged back to your room and laid down. But, sleep didn't come for a while as tears rolled down your cheeks.

Jay put his head in his hands. He had yelled at you. Not only that, but he had sworn at you and you were just trying to help. God, he felt like a terrible brother, a terrible guardian, an overall terrible human being.

He tugged at the roots of his hair, hoping the bit of tugging from that physical pain would calm the mental and emotional pain that had been stirring inside of him for weeks. For weeks he's been like this. Ever since he had been put on his medication, he hadn't even had a nightmare and now he's had them every single day, and he's scared to sleep. What kind of police detective and ex-army ranger is afraid to sleep when they're safe in their own house? He was one of them and, God, he hated himself for it.

Not getting more than three restless hours of sleep per night was starting to have an impact on him at work. They all knew that a sleepy cop was a dead cop, but Jay was still alive. But, there were downfalls, such as getting jittery from all the caffeine he was ingesting early in the morning and then crashing and almost falling asleep doing reports when he had to work late. Well, he didn't have to work late per se, he decided to work late to put off sleeping. He knew none of this was helpful and none of this would solve the problem, but he thought it would be fine. Everything would be fine and the nightmares would eventually go away. They always do. And then everything would be normal again in his brain.

God, he longed for that: the normalcy.

So, for the umpteenth night in a row, he grabbed a pillow and a blanket and made his way to your bedroom to sleep on the floor to make sure you were alive. He put his watch on vibrate and set the alarm for 6 am because he knew you wouldn't be awake that early...especially not on the weekend.

Only when the irrational part of his brain was sure that you weren't going to die, did he finally find solace in sleep.

***

Went to get coffee with Will and to work on homework. Be home eventually, you scribbled on a sticky note and stuck it on the back of the apartment door before you left. Jay had gotten called in to work a case earlier this morning, and you needed a change of scenery to work on some AP World History homework.

You grabbed your backpack, keys, and wallet, and made your way to the parking garage. Then, you left.

About ten minutes later, you arrived at the coffee shop. Not seeing Will, you set your stuff down and went to grab a coffee and a muffin. Don't get it wrong, Jay still didn't like the fact that you drank coffee, but you only drank it when you went out to get it. It wasn't like you drank it every morning or drank two or three cups a day like he did.

You started to read your textbook and take some notes on the vocab. You were so focused that you jumped when Will slid into the chair across from you and said your name.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Lots to do?"

"Not a ton," you replied. "Just gotta read a chapter and take some notes. Then I'm done with homework for the weekend."

"So, you said you think something's up with Jay?" Will asked.

You had texted him that morning to see if you could meet up because you were worried. You had seen how tired he looked and how he poured his coffee into a larger tumbler than normal, one that was almost double the size of his normal one. Bags under his eyes and more coffee than normal had given you the impression that Jay was no longer sleeping, and rightfully so.

"I don't think he's sleeping," you told him.

"And you know this how?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because he looks like shit- sorry, he looks like crap, and he drinks a ton more coffee in the morning than he normally does."

"Maybe he just doesn't like the coffee at the district and is bringing more from home," he suggested.

"I don't think so."

"Is he still working out? Still going to the gym?"

"I think so. I'm usually still asleep when he goes, so I wouldn't know either way."

"Anything else?"

"Uh, actually, yeah." You closed your textbook. "I'm pretty sure he was sick last night."

"Sick? Like how sick?"

"He was puking. I wanted to call you but he told me no."

"How'd you find him?"

"Leaning against the bathtub, no shirt, dripping sweat, and mouth wide open."

"I see," Will said. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Last night when I mentioned calling you, he said he was fine. But, when I pushed, he told me to leave and when I told him no, he yelled and cursed at me."

"He swore at you?" Will grit his teeth.

"Yeah," you whispered. "I don't know what's going on, Will. He hasn't been himself lately."

"Hey, I'll figure it out, okay? I'll make sure he's okay. I can even come over later tonight and check him out if you want me to."

"He'll fight you on that."

"I'm used to unruly patients. Is that what you--" His phone rang and he held up a finger to you to wait for a second while he answered. "Hey, Maggie. What's up?" He paused and then sighed. "I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and started gathering his stuff.

"What? Did something happen and you have to go to work?" you asked.

"Oh, something happened all right. I just got a call saying Jay was brought into Med."

You started to pack up your backpack and grabbed your keys. "I'll follow you there."

***

Jay didn't know what happened. One second he was driving, blinking heavily, the next Hailey was yelling at him and had reached over to grab the wheel, but it was too late. He was too close. When he opened his eyes, he tried to slam on the brake, but it didn't help. The next millisecond, he and Hailey crashed into an electrical pole in Pilsen.

He was awake after that.

"What the hell happened?" Voight asked after he had thrown his car in park and he and Al rushed over to Jay and Hailey.

"I think he fell asleep at the wheel," Hailey answered as she and Jay both stepped out of the truck.

"I did not," Jay protested.

"Oh yeah? Then how do you explain you just running into an electrical pole when there weren't even cars running us off the road?" Hailey yelled.

"I didn't fall asleep! I'm fully awake! Just drop it, Upton."

"Drop it? You do know if we would've hit that at full speed and it fell on us that we could've been electrocuted to death, right?"

"But that didn't happen--"

"Halstead, Upton, I'm bringing both of you to Med to get checked out. After that, you're going home to get some rest, Halstead. You look like hell," Voight told them.

"Sarge--"

"This isn't up for discussion. Get in the damn car." The two detectives walked to Voight's car, while Voight turned to Alvin. "Call Platt to get us some patrolmen to help. You good waiting here for them to pick you up while I bring them to Med?"

"Yeah, go. I'll handle this."

When Jay finally got to Med, to say he was not happy would be an understatement. He didn't need to be in the hospital and he sure as hell didn't need to be kicked off the case and told to go home to get some rest.

"Mags, what room is he in?"

Shit, they had called Will.

"Treatment Four."

Will walked into the room followed by you.

"You didn't have to come, neither of you did."

"Well, too bad," Will said. "Should've put her as your emergency contact instead of me. Oh wait, you can't, she's still too young. Guess you're stuck with me."

"All set," Hailey said as she walked in. "You ready to go?"

"Who's this?" you asked.

"My new partner," Jay told you. "Hailey, this is Y/N and Will, my siblings I told you about. Y/N and Will, my new partner, Hailey Upton."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard good things."

Will scoffed. "Would one of those good things be that Jay absolutely hates hospitals and I always have to make sure he doesn't leave against medical advice?"

"He didn't mention that, no."

"Well, either way, nice to meet Jay's new partner. Do you mind if I talk to him? Privately?"

"No problem."

Will turned to you. "You too, Y/N. Go grab some food or hang out with Hailey or something."

Will focused his attention on Jay when you and Hailey had left the treatment room. "Y/N told me she doesn't think you're sleeping and from what I heard from Maggie about why you were brought in here, don't even bother lying to me."

"I'm fine, Will, really. Nothing to worry about."

"Fine then. I'm gonna go order a blood test."

"Blood test? You're not even on shift! And, you can't even be my doctor if you were!" Jay protested.

"I read that April's your nurse, so I'm going to go find her and tell her to order a blood test then."

"Why?"

"To see if your plasma cortisol levels are elevated and if your cortisol testosterone levels have decreased," Will answer matter-of-factly.

"And you need those because...?"

"If the plasma cortisol level is elevated and the cortisol testosterone level is lowered, then those are both indicators that you haven't been sleeping. Be back, little brother."

Jay groaned and threw his head back. He didn't think he'd need to be stuck with a needle today. If only had put someone else down as his emergency contact, then this wouldn't be happening. Or, if his brother just wasn't a doctor or didn't work at this specific hospital then this wouldn't be happening, either.

***

Jay was walking you to school when you were eight years old. On your back, you had your backpack and you were holding Jay's hand and skipping to keep up with his long strides. Jay chuckled at how cute and innocent you were. He didn't want you to ever grow up.

"Jay Jay," you started, causing him to look down at you, "Did you get all the bad guys when you left?"

"Why do you ask?" He swallowed. He knew if you asked the right questions, he might not know how to answer them. And, his last tour was horrific, losing all the members of his unit except Mouse...the burning Humvee...the combatants still coming towards them...

"I don't know. I just wanted to know if there were any left?" you asked.

"There probably are."

"Do you have to go back there? Do you have to leave again to go fight the bad guys?"

Jay's breath hitched. He was honorably discharged after what had happened, so he wouldn't have to back. But, as he was thinking about how to answer you, the scene changed.

Screaming. All he could hear was screaming and the crackling of flames.

He looked around saw the scene from his last tour, his Humvee flipped over with all the members of his unit currently burning to crisp. He and Mouse had been walking behind, keeping watch of their six which is why they weren't in there.

"Help! Jay Jay, help!" He heard you scream and racked his brain from where that could be coming from because you were an ocean away, no way were you actually there.

"Dude, your sister's in there!" And Mouse took off running.

Jay quickly caught up to him. "What? She's not here! She's at home in Chicago!"

"No, she's not! You couldn't bear to leave her, so you brought her with you!"

Okay, now Jay knew he was caught in the midst of a nightmare because he would never do that. He would never bring a little girl into the midst of a war where she could get hurt or killed. Damn that melatonin he took that night because he was currently in so deep a sleep that he couldn't wake up.

"Jay Jay!"

He took off running again and came up to the edge of the Humvee. Your leg was crushed under it and it was one of the only parts of the vehicle that hadn't caught fire...yet. He needed to get you out and he needed to get you out fast or else you would be burned to death. But, to do that, he knew he'd be sacrificing your leg.

"Mouse! Get me a tourniquet and the biggest knife you have! Make sure you sterilize it!" Jay shouted. You let out a whine.

"You're doing a field amputation?" Mouse asked as he grabbed the supplies.

"I don't have any other choice." You let out a whimper. "Hey, hey, look at me. Focus on me. I'm gonna get you out of there."

"P-Promise?" you asked as tears ran down your cheeks.

"I promise. Now I need you to hold really still and be a brave girl, okay? Can you be brave for me?" You nodded as Mouse handed Jay the equipment for the tourniquet. "This is going to hurt," Jay warned you as he slid the piece of fabric underneath your leg and then started tying it.

You screamed out in agony.

"I know, I know. But, It's gotta be tight. It's gotta be tight, kiddo."

"Jay! Nine o'clock!"

Jay turned to his left and pointed his gun straight at the combatant.

"Jay...Jay..." he heard your voice wavering as you tried to get his attention. But, it didn't sound like your voice. It sounded lower, more mature even. "Jay, please." the voice that sounded like you was pleading now. "Jay Jay, please. You're- You're safe."

Jay snapped his eyes open.

There you were, at sixteen years old, holding your hands up in surrender. He was home, in Chicago.

"Jay, please," you whispered once more.

It was only when he looked down that he realized he must've thought you were the combatant in his dream because he had his service weapon pointed straight at you.

He dropped his gun onto his bed. "Y/N, I- you gotta believe me. That wasn't--"

But you were already running out of his room to grab your keys and get as far away from Jay as possible.

***

Will was awoken to a loud knocking on his door at 2:37 in the morning. "Who the fuck is here right now?" he muttered as he rubbed his eyes and stood up and threw on a shirt.

But, all his anger at being woken up at this ungodly hour washed away as he looked through the peep-hole and saw you, tears still streaming down your face.

He yanked the door open. "Y/N, what are you doing here?"

"He pointed a gun at me!" you wailed as you entered.

Will shut the door and made his way over to you. "Who? Did you tell Jay? Where were you?"

"Jay was the one who did it, Will! He pointed the- the gun right at me!"

Will's breath caught in his throat. He had his hunches that Jay was having nightmares again based on what you had told him and based on him falling asleep while driving and based on his blood work, but he didn't think they'd have gotten this bad. "Are you okay? he asked you quietly.

You shook your head and Will led you over to the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You sighed. "I heard him scream, so I woke up to see what was wrong. When I walked- When I walked into his room he was squeezing his pillow with his hand like he was holding something. He was dripping sweat."

You paused and took a deep breath.

"It's okay," Will told you. Take your time."

"Then, he just, he just whipped around and grabbed his gun from- from on top of his nightstand. I don't why it wasn't in the safe where it usually is. And that's when he..."

"That's when he pointed it at you?"

You nodded as tears rolled down your cheeks. "I said his name over and over and he finally snapped out of it."

"And that's when you came here?"

You nodded again.

"Well, how about we put on a movie, and then you can try to get some sleep. I'll stop over at Jay's tomorrow when you're at school. I'm pretty sure you have some clothes here just in case."

"Thanks, Will."

"No problem, Short Stack."

***

Jay heard a knock on his door the next day. Will had texted him and told him that you were safe and at his place because Jay had been blowing up Will's phone looking for you. So, at least he wasn't worried about that anymore.

Jay sipped his beer and waited for the knocking to stop, but it just became increasingly louder.

"Jay, open the damn door!"

Reluctantly, with beer still in hand, Jay stood up and opened his apartment door. "What the hell are you doing here?" Jay asked.

"Gimme that," Will said as he ripped the beer bottle from Jay's hand after he'd entered his apartment. "And, for your information, I'm making sure you're not drinking yourself to death." He looked around at the two other empty beer bottles on the counter. It wasn't even one o'clock in the afternoon yet. "Which, I guess I came just in time."

"Just let me drink it." Jay tried to take the bottle back, but Will held it out of his reach. Then, he made his way over to the kitchen sink and poured it out.

"Shit, man. I paid for that."

"I don't really give a damn right now, Jay. You pointed a fucking gun at our little sister. She came to my place bawling last night. You're lucky she didn't get into a car accident because of how distraught she was when she was driving."

"I know, I know. I fucked up, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, you fucked up all right. This is probably the single-handed worse thing you've done in your entire life."

"Did you just come here to lecture me?" Jay yelled. "If so, the door's that way and you can get the hell out!"

Will sighed. "I didn't come here just to do that, but I needed to get that out first. You need to talk to someone about this, Jay."

"I'm talking to you. Isn't that enough?"

"A trained professional."

"You are a trained professional."

"I'm a trained medical professional, not a trained psychological professional."

Jay sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. That scene from last night had been replaying in his head for almost twelve hours now.

Him hearing your voice...seeing you with your hands raised while they were shaking...how much of whisper your voice was...the feeling of guilt that swallowed him whole when he noticed he was holding his service weapon...you sprinting out of the house in the middle of the night...

"Jay," Will said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You still with me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. Sorry." He paused. "Last night, I guess I was so out of it that I forgot to lock up my gun and left it on my bedside table. If I had just locked it up, this wouldn't have happened. If I just wouldn't have taken the melatonin, this wouldn't have happened. If I was just able to fucking sleep this wouldn't have happened."

"How long haven't you been sleeping?" Will asked gently.

"The nightmares started when I shot that little girl, Will."

"Jay, it's been weeks since that happened."

"I know. And they just keep getting worse. At first, it was Y/N who was the little girl I shot when I was chasing the offenders when the bullet went through the illegal daycare center. And then, they started turning into me being overseas and Y/N somehow being with me and her being shot over there. Last night- last night was the worst."

"You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to."

"Thank you," Jay replied. Because in all honestly, that was one of the worst nightmares he's ever had since getting on his medication.

"Is that why you're sleeping on Y/N's bedroom floor?"

"How'd you know? I didn't even think she knew."

"She knows. She said she'll wake up in the middle of the night and you'll be there, on her floor, with a pillow and a blanket, and you'll sneak out before she wakes up."

"I just, I needed to make sure she was safe. I needed to make sure she was still alive, Will."

"I really think you need to talk to someone. Maybe ask about getting your meds increased."

"I've been on the same dose for over two years now. You really think they'd need to be upped?"

"It's a possibility. But, we need to talk about Y/N now."

Jay sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, we do. I have no idea what to do, Will. I'm supposed to be her legal guardian and I couldn't even keep her safe. I was the one who made her feel not safe."

"I know it's gonna be hard for you to hear this," Will started, "but, she doesn't want to come back here for a little while."

"Yeah, I figured that when she didn't answer my texts."

"Listen, she and I talked this morning, and if you go see someone today or tomorrow and see someone about getting your meds upped, she'd stay with me for two weeks so the meds have time to get into your system, and then we'll go from there."

"So, all I have to do is get my meds upped?"

"Well, that might be the best option. But, I still think you should talk to someone, Jay. Either a therapist or a psychiatrist or even a veteran's support group might be helpful."

"Okay. But, can you just tell her that I'm so sorry? And that, I wasn't in my right mind? I didn't know it was her, I swear."

"I know you didn't. Now, no more drinking, you have appointments to schedule." Will paused. "Have you talked to Voight? Maybe you shouldn't be working while you're trying to figure this out."

"I do not need to take time off."

"Yes, you do. Do you want our little sister to hate you or not?"

"Fine. I'll take two weeks furlough."

"That's all I ask. Please do not get shitfaced because I will babysit you if I have to."

"Then who's gonna stay with Y/N?"

"I'll figure something out."

***

"You're sure I'm good to go back?" you asked Will as you walked into yours and Jay's apartment building.

"Y/N, he hasn't had a nightmare in a week and a half. Everything's gonna be fine," Will answered.

"I know. I know I shouldn't be scared of my own brother, but, uh, what happened that night, it was..."

"Terrifying?" Will finished for you.

"Yeah, that."

"Well, I'll be there the entire weekend in case anything happens."

"Thanks, Will."

***

Later that night, you laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. But, you couldn't. You just couldn't shake the feeling of walking into Jay's room to try and wake him from a nightmare and having a gun pointed right at you. You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe tonight was the night that Jay would have a nightmare and end up sleepwalking into your bedroom with his gun drawn.

So, you were sitting up in bed, at 3:30 am, having just finished your last movie an hour and a half ago with your lamp on and the current book you were reading open.

You heard the sound of your door opening and looked up.

You held your breath.

Jay was in your room.

"Y/N, what are you still doing awake?" he asked, slowly moving closer to you so he didn't scare you.

You sighed in relief. He was conscious. He was awake.

"I can't sleep," you answered honestly.

"Is it because of me? That you can't sleep?" You looked down and that was all the confirmation Jay needed. "Look, I'm sorry. I know I've said it a lot these past few weeks, but I'm truly sorry. You have to understand that it wasn't me."

"I know. I just, you scared you me, Jay. I was scared I was going to die that night."

"Y/N, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened."

"And you haven't had any nightmares?"

"None in over ten days," he answered.

"Then why are you in my room? I know you come in here sometimes after you have nightmares."

"I came to make sure you were sleeping. Will mentioned you were nervous and I know you don't like to sleep when you're nervous."

"Oh." You paused. "Can you tell me what you were dreaming about? When you pointed the gun at me?"

"Y/N, I'd really prefer not to. I don't want to go back there."

"I get it," you said. "It's traumatic. Like how even though Dad isn't drinking anymore, I don't want to go back and live with him."

"Exactly."

You moved over. "You can come sit if you want." Jay sat down on the bed next to you and handed you Beary so that he didn't squash him. You closed your book. "Can you tell me a story?"

"Like a fairytale like when you were little and Mom would make me read those princess books to you?" Jay chuckled.

"No, maybe a you and Will story or a me and you story from I was little and don't remember much?"

Jay thought for a second until he found the perfect one filed away in his brain under Y/N stories. "Do you remember that time when you brought your first aid kit on your bike because you had just made it in girl scouts?"

"A little, but not really."

"Okay, I'll tell you that one then."

"Jay Jay!" little seven-year-old you exclaimed as you run up to Jay. "Ride bikes with me?"

"I think my bike has a flat tire, but I can get my skateboard. Is that okay with you?" Jay asked.

"Yeah! But Mommy said you gotta wear a helmet because she said we gotta protect our heads," you told him while putting your hands on your hips.

"That's right! How could I forget that? I'll be right back and then we can go, okay?"

"Okay!"

While Jay ran off to find his bike, you ran off to get your first aid kit that you had just made in girl scouts and Beary to put in the little basket on the front of your purple princess bike.

You waited for him and when he reappeared with his skateboard and helmet, he asked what you had.

"Beary and this I made in girl scouts yesterday," you told him. "It has bandaids and this white tape and white soft stuff and wipies."

You handed it to him to take a look. Inside, there were different sizes of bandaids, medical tape, gauze, and antiseptic wipes. "This is such a good first aid kit, kiddo!"

"Thank you!"

You got your bike out of the garage and clipped on your helmet. Jay pressed down on the horn attached to your handlebars before stepping onto his skateboard.

You two rode down the street and then Jay got to a ramp that some kids had made. There was one ramp, a gap, and then another ramp.

"Jay Jay!" you exclaimed. "Can you go on that?"

Jay had gone on homemade skateboard ramps like those hundreds of times. Hell, he'd even made one home and he and Will would do kickflips in the air when going on it when your guys' mom was home. She'd have a heart attack if she saw her sons doing that.

"I can even do a trick while I'm in the air," Jay told you.

"Really?" you asked, your eyes going wide.

"Really. Wanna see?"

"Yes please!"

Jay started a few yards back from the first ramp and started propelling himself forward, gaining speed. Then, your jaw dropped as he skated onto the first ramp and into the air.

"Whoa," you whispered to yourself as he did his kickflip in midair between the two ramps.

But, Jay had overestimated the distance between the two ramps, so when he landed, he landed on the road and not the ramp with way too much force, causing him to fall off his skateboard and land on the ground, scraping his hands across the road.

"Jay Jay!" you yelled as you quickly kicked down your kickstand and grabbed your first aid kit. "Are you okay?" you asked.

Jay stood up and grabbed his skateboard. "I'm fine. Just a little blood, nothing to worry about."

"You're bleeding? Where? I can fix it."

He held up his right hand where his palm was a little bloody. You started to open your first aid kit and Jay knew there was no point in arguing with you, so he just crouched down to your height.

You grabbed a bandaid and started to open it. "You gotta clean it out first, nurse," Jay told you.

"Oh. With the wipey-thingies?"

"Yes, with those."

You opened one of the antiseptic wipes--with Jay's help because those were really hard to open!--and wiped down his palm. Then, you put the bandaid on.

"All better!" you exclaimed as you put the trash back into your first aid kit. "Can we keep going?" you asked.

"We sure can!"

You ran back to your bike and put the first aid kit into the basket next to Beary and then you got on your bike and caught up to Jay. And then, you were off around the block again.

"We really thought you were going to be a doctor or a nurse after that," Jay said. "But, then you realized you hated both math and science." He looked down at you. "Oh, you're asleep."

He set your book on your nightstand and turned off the lamp. Then, he slowly crept out of your room and closed the door, and went back to his room to fall into a nightmare-less sleep.

Despite Will sleeping on the couch, things were back to normal in yours and Jay's apartment and neither of you could've been happier.

A/N: Hey guys, I wanted to get this posted before I'm away for the weekend and probably without internet. As always, thank you for reading, and please reblog/like and comment! I love hearing what you guys think, as it gives me tons of motivation to keep writing! If you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things 

[ateezmakemeweep]

broken (part 2).

san x reader

word count: 12k

angst, fluff (tw: mentions of domestic abuse and rape)

(part 1)

no matter how many times you tried to change your thinking patterns, you still classified your life into two parts: before the abuse and after.

you thought, after watching your ex-boyfriend being escorted out of the courtroom with a one-year prison sentence, that you wouldn’t be scared of him anymore.

you thought that moving out of the house and living in your new apartment would make day to day life easier, not needing to see the floor you were beaten on or counter you were forced to have sex on every day.

you thought that having san would make you feel happy and loved and enough. that having a whole new family unit consisting of seven other crazy boys and a crotchety old lady would be enough.

but as you sit curled up on the bathroom floor with tears in your eyes, you’re seeing you severely underestimated everything. 

underestimated just how much trauma you still had to sort through and how badly that asshole really did mess you up.

six months ago:

“so we have the surveillance footage and witness testimony from your neighbors,” your lawyer explains gently, an older woman with kind eyes and soft-spoken voice that quickly transforms in the courtroom. 

“but a personal statement, if you feel comfortable, would probably guarantee the harshest sentence.”

the harshest sentence being one year, a measly 365 days compared to the 1,825 he subjected you to every kind of abuse: sexual, emotional, mental, physical. 

hitting and grabbing and slapping until your skin was littered with bruises and cuts. 

talking so harshly to you that you believed dying was the best option, stripping you from any sort of confidence or self-esteem you once had. 

making you feel completely inept and useless, solely viewing you as a piece of property he could boss around and use at his disposal. 

you had left the office with shaking hands and a pounding heart, barely being able to dial san’s number before he answered after one ring. 

this was the first appointment you’ve went to without him, insisting he can’t and won’t miss his midterm for this. 

“hi, love. everything go okay?” he asks softly, with the sweet gentle voice that has quite literally kept you alive these past few months. 

you don’t know what you did in another life to deserve san but you know that without him, you probably wouldn’t have made it this far. without his constant support and sweet reassurances, you wouldn’t have believed you could ever do this. 

willingly tell police officers and lawyers about what happened to you, break down and expose yourself in such a way that always made you feel weak and pathetic. 

admit aloud that, yes, you’ve been a victim of abuse and no, those bruises and scars on your body aren’t from clumsy falls into the wall or cabinet. 

without him, accompanying you to the police station or lawyer’s office, where you knew jungkook was lingering, you would’ve never felt safe. 

you would’ve broke down and took it all back, told them that you made it all up and to release him because he didn’t do anything wrong.

but he did so much wrong and you and san know that. the police and lawyers and judges know it too, several outbursts from the man in court and at the station proving that. 

it’s what makes the thought of a personal statement so hard, having to look your ex-boyfriend in the face and watch him stare you down with not an ounce of remorse or sorrow.

san must know it too, if your silence through the phone tells him anything, and you can already hear shuffling in the background as he prepares to leave his class and head to your apartment.   

“are you done with your test?” you ask first, voice sweet but mousy in a way that makes san’s stomach sink

he knew today was gonna be rough for you, he knew he should’ve asked his professor to retake the midterm next week. 

“yes,” the boy answers immediately, knowing he’s about to run back into the classroom, circle c for the last three answers and haul ass to his car. 

“san, are you-”

“i was done, it’s fine, y/n,” he confirms gently, feet moving and body desperate to rush toward your apartment. 

because he knows after all of this time, you’ve learned to hold back your pain and suffering. years of practice and keeping tears at bay that he’s noticed have made these months difficult for you two. 

and he hates knowing that you still wait till you’re alone to cry. 

that even though every time you do, he wipes away every tear and holds you to his chest until you fall asleep, you still feel most comfortable being sad alone.

that you’re probably already home now, about to bury your face in a pillow and sob until you hear his car and wipe your cheeks clean like nothing is wrong. 

but there’s a lot wrong. 

a lot wrong with how you’ve been treated and how hard it is to move past it. 

a lot wrong with the legal system that makes this painful journey even more exhausting, forcing you to recount memory after memory and answer question after question about the worst ordeals of your life. 

that’s why san can’t help but turn in his test and rush out the door to his car, speeding off campus and onto the highway in hot pursuit of your apartment above the bakery.

it had seemed like perfect little place to get you back on your feet, the smell of freshly baked bread and pleasant bustle of regulars greeting you in the early morning hours. 

there was no commute for you, just a walk down the stairs and through the yellow door of the bakery, where simple work waited for you. 

“you just need to ring up the customers and maybe clean a table or two. most people take their things to go,” your boss had told you, a divorced mother of three who spent most of her life baking before she was finally able to open up a place of her own. 

it was simple work but it was more than you’d done in years, something as little as small talk with regulars successfully draining you. filling you with a nervousness and fear that you’re still feeling even without your ex’s presence. 

but it’s in the way a man yells on the phone about a business deal going sour while waiting for his morning coffee. 

a woman chastising her kids saying that they won’t get to eat the cookies she’s buying after dinner. 

the slam of the door when a harsh gust of wind howls from outside and rattles the small bakery with light blue walls and pictures of bread and desserts.

you don’t know how many coffees you’ve spilt or plates you’ve broken from jumping at the harsh sounds, realizing little by little how hard this transition was gonna be. 

even with san and his friends and your boss and the crazy old lady who secured this new life for you in the first place, it’s still hard. 

you can’t even imagine doing all of these new things alone, just living in such a simple way that the average person takes for granted. 

but you suppose it’s not all simple yet, going back and forth between meetings with your lawyer and the police for the court date that’s rapidly approaching. 

you can feel that the closer it comes, the harder it is to breathe. 

the mere thought of seeing the man who hurt you for the longest five years of your life, sitting in front of you with not an ounce of remorse on his face. making  this process even harder because how are you supposed to talk in front of him? 

see clear as day that you’re not safe and you never will be. 

that he’s gonna get out in a year, because that’s the harshest sentence possible without you being hospitalized or dead, and hurt you again. he’s never gonna stop hurting you because he always said you were his and he wouldn’t ever hesitate to-

you don’t even hear the jingle of san’s keys opening the front door or his softly spoken call of your name. 

you’re only aware of his presence when you feel his warm, small hands cup your face, his thumbs rubbing over your wet, salty skin as he mutters your name lowly.

“hey, i’m here, i’m here,” he mumbles sweetly, tone soft and gentle the way it always is no matter what the circumstances are.

he plops down on the couch before pulling you into his lap, his hand rubbing up and down your back gently. you hear the quiet but firm “sh, sh, sh,” against your head, the sharp calming hums always in threes as an attempt to ground you.

you try to focus on his calming sounds and even breaths, the hand on your back so warm and gentle as he lulls your panicked body into a calmer state. 

you bury your face in his chest and breathe in his scent, cologne and detergent mixed with his natural scent that lingers on your pillow every morning. 

“i-i’m sorry.”

the words make his stomach plummet, tears burning his eyes because you never have anything to be sorry for. you never have anything to be sorry for and you say it all the time. 

when you bump into him in the kitchen while making food together.

when you sit on the remote and change the channel by accident.

when you burnt the cookies one night and made the fire alarm go off. 

he remembers that being one of the worse nights, the loud noises making you jump while also flinching away when he lifted his arm up to fan away the smoke. and then you immediately apologized again, cookies long forgotten before he grabbed your hand and led you into the living room. 

he just held your hand as you both watched tv, his thumb rubbing over your skin before you spoke words so quietly, he almost missed them. 

“i wish...i would stop doing that.”

he cranes his neck over to look at you, eyebrow raised and eyes soft as he looks  at you questioningly. 

he wants to tease and say that you’ve never burnt the cookies before but anytime you feel comfortable enough to talk to him like this, he never wants to say the wrong thing.

“i...i know you would never hurt me,“ you continue after a few moments. “and i know i’m just...scared easily, i guess. but it makes me feel bad,” you admit quietly, heart pulling in your chest as you look at the man beside you. 

he has gotten you through the hardest times of your life, has been by your side every step of the way with no questions or complaints, and you haven’t been able to repay him. 

not even with a plate of fucking cookies. 

“you don’t have to feel bad, y/n,” san says gently, his hand reaching out slowly to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. 

your eyes close at his feather light touch and the way it makes your heart jump, his fingers lingering on you in a way that makes you feel so safe and content. 

“and i know it’s hard to believe still but you have nothing to be scared of either. i’m not gonna let anyone hurt you again and i mean that.”

“but i feel like i’m hurting you,” you mumble softly, pulling your knees up as you rest your head on the couch cushion. his brows pull together as his eyes roam your face, a pout on his lips the more he looks at you in silence.

“you’ve helped me so much and i just...” tears fill your eyes as you struggle to find the words and breathe. you’ve only been living in your new house for two months now and almost every day, san has been here. 

bringing you food, helping you clean and decorate, spending late nights with you watching movies, helping you through an inevitable fit of panic when your memories and life become too much. 

he makes it easier to breathe and you’re scared that without him, you’re gonna stop one day.

“i just keep... taking from you. you get nothing out of helping me but you still do it anyway and i...you shouldn’t even bother, san. i-i’m not worth this time and i just want you to-”

“stop.”

he tries to keep the anger out of his voice knowing that all of this is what you’ve been told. you’ve been told your whole life that you weren’t enough, were only deemed worthy by a piece of shit who did nothing but hurt and berate you. 

but it doesn’t make it any less hard to hear. to hear in your voice and see in your eyes that you truly believe you’re not worth the time he wants to put into you. 

“you’re worth the time to me,” he says, voice gentle but firm in a way that makes a lump form in your throat. his finger reaches out to trace small circles on your hand, your eyes following it so he doesn’t see the tears building up. 

“i like seeing you happy, y/n. and i wanna help you.”

your teary eyes meet his and you swallow the growing lump in your throat when you see the look on his face, soft and sweet in a way you still can’t believe is directed toward you. 

“i feel like i need a lot of help,” you mutter, voice barely above a whisper as you think back to how day to day life is so challenging and draining. 

the loud voices and the screaming kids and banging door that sends you into a panic. the broken dishes and tear stains on your pillow that are there more often than not after san leaves every night. 

but san’s hearing each and every word right now, his heart panging in his chest at how vulnerable you are right now. how you let him see this side of you and continue to despite how hard he knows everything’s been. 

“that’s okay,” he smiles softly, stopping the circles on your hand to intertwine your fingers. “i’m gonna be here as long as you need me, okay?”

you look up to meet his gaze and feel a tear slip down your cheek, a cry bubbling in your throat that you so desperately wanna let out. 

but you also don’t wanna make san any more sad tonight, biting down on your lip as you nod your head before leaning on his shoulder. 

you don’t see the smile that crosses his face or hear the content sigh that leaves him, his hand in yours and presence enough to lull you into a dreamless sleep. 

“you have nothing to be sorry for,” he assures you quietly, looking over your face as he wipes at your cheeks. you meet his gaze and your eyes stay locked on one another, his thumb gentle and soft across your skin.

“did you do good on your test?” you squeak out after a few moments of silence, a smile breaking out across his face. 

“of course i did, we studied all night, didn’t we?” he teases, referring to just last night when you helped him with index cards and read them all to him twice before promptly passing out on his chest. 

a blush crosses your face as you look down in embarrassment, a sweet high pitched laugh bubbling out of him. 

“it’s okay, don’t be embarrassed. your drool only ruined a few of them.”

“i don’t drool,” you mutter, a small smile on san’s face as he tightens his hold on you in his lap. 

“did you eat yet?” 

you shake your head as indistinguishable mumble leaves your mouth, curling yourself into his chest more as his warmth and comforting scent envelop you. 

his lips brush against your hair in a small smile, quietly asking what you wanna eat even though he knows you’re gonna say you don’t care. 

“whatever you want,” you mutter against him, the exhaustion of waking up at 5 am and the draining meeting with your lawyer catching up to you. 

and san knows on days like these that chinese food and watching reruns of old cartoons is usually the thing you need to feel a little bit better. 

pretend that just for a few hours, everything is okay and there’s nothing more pressing than spending the night together in what always turns into having a sleepover. 

because just as you found it difficult to live in that house you once shared with jungkook, san finds it difficult to go back to that block every night. 

stay just a few houses away from where he’s reminded of how you were treated while he was just a few feet away.

watching as the backyard once full of flowers becomes dull and colorless and every window reminds him of what was truly going on behind the walls of that house.

it’s one of the reasons why staying with you just makes sense. that and the fact that leaving you always proves to be the hardest part of the night together. 

you with a pout and sad eyes quietly whining for him to stay and him being completely powerless as he throws himself down next to you and wraps his arms around your waist. 

he’s not surprised when the same thing happens tonight, your eyes drooping and body slacking against him before he quietly asks if he should get going. you look up at him tiredly, eyebrows pulled together and one cheek red from you leaning on his chest in a way that makes him hold back a smirk.

“no,” you say quietly, your eyes roaming his face before you quickly realize he might want to leave you. the thought rips a pang of hurt through your chest but you can’t help but feel that might be the case. 

you ripped him away from his test and cried on him all night. why would he wanna stay with you? 

“unless you want to. i-i don’t wanna force you to stay here if you don’t-”

“of course i want to,” san responds, taking your face in his hands gently and allowing his thumb to run along your soft skin. “i was just checking.” 

because he also never wants to overstep. make you feel too overwhelmed or smothered since if it were up to him, he’d never leave your side again. 

his words and touch send relief through you, the panic and fear that attempted to break through quickly dying it. everything about him makes it so easy to be calm and comforted, a smile making it’s way on your face as you nod. 

you place your head back on his chest, sighing contently when you feel his arm wrap around your shoulder a few moments later. you stare at the tv blankly, not sure how long you’re lost in thought about the conversation at the lawyer’s office. 

“but a personal statement, if you feel comfortable, would probably guarantee the harshest sentence.”

could you really do that though? strip yourself to the most vulnerable degree and proclaim to a courtroom full of people how weak and defenseless you were for five years? how the man who’s gonna be seated just a few feet away over you had that much power over you? 

would you feel better looking jungkook in the face and telling him that you’re gonna be strong and come out okay? that he won’t be able to hurt you anymore and will rot behind a cell for what he’s done?

or would you it make you feel worse? seeing him again and the blankness behind his eyes. the pity and sorrowful looks on the judge and court officers when your voice shakes and eyes brim with tears as you recall your old life.

you’re not even sure if san is awake at this point, his arm heavy around you and breaths even under your head but you can’t seem to stop your tired self from speaking.

“my lawyer suggested i make a personal statement.”

san doesn’t stutter under you, the only sign of him being awake when he hums lowly and gently pulls away from you. the bed dips next to you when he lays on his side, your eyes meeting just as he reaches out to smooth out a messy strand of hair.

“yeah?” he mumbles lowly, his soft eyes roaming your face. “how do you feel about that?” 

the question, despite the serious tension in leaves in the air, makes you smile softly, remembering when your lawyer recommended counseling, you thought back to san waiting in the car and felt as if you already had all the support you needed. 

he has the most patience and kindness of anyone you’ve ever met before and you can’t imagine trusting someone as much as trust him. have someone else hear you this vulnerable and genuine, see you cry and feel all the emotions that come with rebuilding your life after being a victim of domestic violence. 

“i don’t know if i can do it.”

the words make san frown, holding himself up on his elbow as he looks over your face with concern. he can tell you’re tired, eyes hazy and drooping but he also can tell your mind’s been preoccupied. 

more so than usual. 

“i...i don’t know if i could do it with him there.”

“he’s not gonna hurt you anymore,” san reminds you gently, his hand creeping down in between your bodies to take ahold of yours. it’s soft and small and warm and everything about it makes you feel safe. 

“i-i know. but...just him being there. watching me and hearing me say what he’s done when i know he has no remorse. and then telling more people how i let it go on for so long and-”

“you didn’t let anything go on for too long. it wasn’t your fault. y/n.”

tears burn your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, hearing those words from almost everyone in your life but still not having the ability to grasp it. 

it feels like your fault, it feels like you’ve allowed yourself to be treated in a way you knew was wrong for far too long. 

because now look at you. trying to rebuild your life but being panicked when the wind howls just a little too loudly outside. 

you take a few deep calming breaks and swallow as you look at him, eyes hazy and glossy and threatening to close shut; you’re so tired but it’s like your brain never stops going these days. 

“she said...it’d guarantee the harshest sentence. but shouldn’t the evidence be enough? the tapes and the witnesses? why- why do i have to keep going through this?” you whisper, voice shaky and tears building as you look at him. the sight alone makes san stomach sink, rolling his tongue between his lips anxiously. 

“i just want it to be over. i don’t wanna keep recounting what happened over and over and over again. i... it’s so hard, san. it’s so hard and i feel like i can’t do it anym-” 

your words break off as a quiet whimper leaves your mouth, crumbling against san’s body when he pulls you forward and wraps his arms around you. your head falls in the crook of his neck as his hand rests on the back of your head, breathing slowly and evenly as quiet hums leave his mouth. 

“I know, baby,” san mumbles, his lips against your head as he presses a kiss to your hair. “you don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do, okay? no one can make you do anything.”

"you're hurting me, jungkook," your broken voice tells him, the cracks and pain behind it familiar to even your own ears.

you don't know how many times you've heard yourself like this. so desperate and defeated.

"i wish i didn't have to, babydoll," he says lowly, "but you never listen. you make me do this."

and you don’t even think about if you’re gonna regret it at the time. not use your own voice and speak up in front of the courtroom about what the man on trial did. 

you can only think about his eyes watching you, your friends hearing your voice quiver and shake, the judge maybe not taking your words into account. it all seems too much right now, the crushing weight of anxiety and fear that’s making you feel too weak to do that. 

“you made it this far. and it’s almost all over, okay?” san reassures, his hand stroking your hair as he tries to calm your cries. “if you wanna do it, i’ll be right there next to you. we’ll all be there for you and you’ll be safe the whole time. but if you don’t, that’s okay too. you don’t have to and everything will still be okay.”

and because it’s like the blonde just knows everything when it comes to you, everything is okay - or as okay as things can be under these circumstances. 

your lawyer didn’t bat an eye when you told her you weren’t sure if you could do a personal statement, her hand on your shoulder as she gently tells you that it’s okay. that the harshest sentence would probably still be given, considering the unusual amount of evidence in a case like this. 

you watched jungkook get taken out of court with a one year sentence, thrashing in handcuffs and cursing at you while you gripped san’s hand tightly. 

you had foolishly thought watching that was gonna somehow heal you immediately. 

no longer make you afraid or flinch at the smallest of sounds or movements, make you feel like now you can take san’s words to heart and feel worthy of the love he showered you with. 

but it was with that love, you started to grow too dependent. let it consume you in a whole new way that made you feel like without san, you couldn’t breathe. 

at first, he didn’t know what had triggered the episodes that followed three months after the trial. 

it had seemed as if you were making a lot of progress over the past few months, truly happy and smiley without an ounce of fear in your eyes that had always seemed to linger. 

you were working hard at the bakery, becoming closer with the regulars and even finding it easier to talk with them. they found you comforting and sweet, always greeting them with a warm smile and remembering how many sugars they got with their morning coffee. 

the same warm smile you gave san when he told you he was visiting his parents for his mom’s birthday one weekend, sending him off with a loaf of bread and an array of cookies. 

“don’t eat them all,” you teased lightly, side-eyeing mingi who was one of your many regulars and could also take your advice as he shovels rainbow cookies in his mouth. 

“i won’t,” san smiles gently, looking in mingi’s direction and holding back a laugh upon seeing the boy. 

he was probably the next closest person you came to trust since you all got to know each other, a soft spot for him ever since the moment he deemed sunflowers ‘sunnies’ during the darker times. 

mingi was the happiness and innocence you think you must have had once. finding the good in everything and being happy just because the sun was out and dessert was on the table. 

“and neither should you,” san chastises the younger boy, smacking him in the back of the head lightly. you smile softly at the exchange, holding back a snort as you clean off the table next to the bickering boys. 

the arm around your waist a few moments later would’ve startled you had you not smelt san’s cologne, leaning into him and feeling grateful you’re the only three in the store right now. 

you look over your shoulder and smile softly at him, heart stuttering at the look on his face. eyes full of such concern, you should know he’s about to ask you if you’re-

“are you gonna be okay tonight?” 

he wasn’t ignorant of the fact, the same way you weren’t, that this is gonna be one the first nights you’ve spent alone in months. 

not falling asleep to the gentle lull of his breathing or his arms around your waist. no one to be there if you wake up from a nightmare, where memories torment your body as you hear the shouts of your ex and feel as if your body is still being bruised.

san not being there to wake you with a gentle peck on the cheek before dragging you back to the warm bed when you try to get up for work. 

but you have to be okay, right? you’ve been doing so good these past few weeks. and you’re an adult the same way he’s an adult, it’s ridiculous to think you guys would have to spend every night together. 

“of course, silly” you poke him gently, smiling when his dimples poke out of his cheeks. “have fun with your parents. don’t worry about me.”

“i always worry about you,” he mumbles lowly, his lips ghosting over your hair as you push his chest lightly. he bites back a smile when he sees the blush on your cheeks, pulling away from him immediately so you can stick your tongue out at him. 

and that night, it actually feels as if you’re okay. 

you busy yourself by cleaning and cooking before passing out to the vampire diaries. your sleep is dreamless and calm, waking up to a good morning message from san consisting of a bare-faced, messy-haired selfie. 

but a few days after his return is when he began to notice the little changes. 

behaviors he thinks you weren’t even aware of that made his heart sink into his stomach; it reminded him so much of the first few weeks you were away from jungkook. 

how despite the fear in your eyes, you clung to him because you knew he’d never hurt you. felt safe in his presence and sought him out when you were feeling uncomfortable or upset. 

and he sees you’re back to the place right now, so obviously uneasy and upset despite the major progress you’ve been making. 

it was like the second he came through the door, you had to be by his side. leaning your head on his shoulder as you watched your shows or grabbing his hand when he got up to go to the bathroom. 

at first, he thought it was cute - your clinginess and obvious affection toward him. he thought it was sweet and it made him so happy, smiling softly and kissing the top of your head as he told you he’d be back in a minute.

but the more the weeks went on, the worse it was seeming to get. 

you asking him after only a few hours of him at school when he was gonna be back. nightmares and bad memories haunting you when you’d fall asleep for naps in between your shift ending and his last class. 

“baby... are you sure you’re okay these days?” 

the words cause you to stop stirring the pasta in the pot, craning your neck to where san is sitting on the countertop. 

he meets your gaze with a soft smile and extends his hand out to you, leaning down to press a kiss to your nose before pulling you up.

you squeal at the sensation, giggling quietly because there you two are just perched on the counter like two cats and no regard for the boiling pot of food beside you. 

you giggle again when he places a kiss to your neck, tightening his hold around your waist.

he relishes in the sound of your laugh because it also seems like these days, he’s hasn’t heard it that much. 

“i feel like i haven’t heard that in a while,” he mumbles against your neck, his lips lingering on your skin. he never wants to say the wrong thing with you or make you feel like you’re not doing good enough. 

you pull back and look at him with a small pout, your fingers toying at the end of his shirt nervously. 

“i...i’m okay though,” you tell him quietly, thinking it’s the truth even though you have felt off these days. 

you didn’t know what it was though honestly. it’s felt like ever since san came back from his parents, you’ve needed him extra. clingy and needy and annoying in the sense that the poor man can’t even go away without you needing him. 

and now he seems to know it, too. 

maybe he doesn’t wanna do this anymore. maybe he didn’t sign up for months of you going back and forth, feeling great and confident one week and then back to being clingy and scared the next. 

because you know it’s only a matter of time before two things happens: he gets sick of you and leaves or starts resenting you. doesn’t wanna waste his time with a battered woman when he could be wth fun and carefree college girls. 

“have i been annoying?” 

your blurted out question throws him off as much as it breaks his heart, immediately shaking his head as he cups your cheeks. 

his lips fall into a pout and your eyes immediately fall to them, about to comment on it before he places a sweet, short peck on yours.

you two, despite your close and intimate relationship full of skin-ship, don’t kiss a lot. you can only count of one hand how many times san has kissed you on the lips, most of the time going for your cheek or head.

but you certainly don’t mind. 

you think it’s good to take it slow, since everything else about your relationship is so intense. that’s why the times he does kiss you, you get filled with such a happy warm feeling that usually makes you feel better no matter what. 

that’s how you know you’re not right. that suddenly, for some reason, you’re not okay again despite being so incredibly lucky that the people in you life now care about you. 

they’re trying so hard to help you and it feels like you can’t repay them in any way.

“no, no, baby, not at all,” san says when he pulls back, his thumb gently rubbing your cheek. “i’m just concerned.”

the lump in your throat makes it feel like you can’t breathe, biting your lip harshly as you look up at the blonde. 

“i love that you want me around,” he continues softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he looks down at you. “but i’m just...i also wanna make sure you’re okay.”

you nod your head as you take in his words, slightly calmed by them despite the way your mind is trying to tell you otherwise. 

he loves that you want him around, he just said so. and he wouldn’t put up with you if he didn’t want to, right?

“i’m okay,” you assure sweetly, leaning into his touch just a little bit more. “i guess i just missed you.”

your cheeks flush at the soft, almost touched look that crosses san’s face, his lips falling into a pout as he tightens his hold on you.

“i missed you too.”

boiling liquid splashing onto the stove causes you both to look away, a squeal leaving your mouth as the foamy water overflows the pot. 

“shit!” you squeal, jumping down from the counter to rush over and lower the heat. san watches from his spot with a small smile, chuckling lightly when you throw him a look.

“sorry,” he says sheepishly, a playful roll of your eyes causing him to jump down and hug you from behind.

he presses small kisses and laughs into the crook of your neck as you finish making the pasta, feeding him pieces from the pot to see if it’s cooked enough. 

you eat on the couch and spend the rest of the night watching tv, a relatively calm and relaxed night that makes you feel much better than the past few days. 

you think you just got so used to his presence, the comfort and warmth and light he provides by just being in your apartment and smiling at you. 

you were scared by how attached you’d grown to him, depending on him in a way you think a person who has gone through what you’ve gone through shouldn’t.

but he’s so good and makes you feel loved. it’s such a different feeling than one you’ve ever experienced, after your family and friends and ex-boyfriend let you down time and time again. 

you’ve never had someone like this before but you’ve also never tried to rebuild your life before. never had the chance to be your own person and make your own decisions - it’s something you’re still learning and that’s evident to everyone in your life. 

but the next morning, a pleasant surprise in the form of mrs. kim comes bursting through the door and immediately lights your face with a smile; apart from san and mingi, she’s another person you’ve grown extremely close and fond of. 

she’s the one who made everything possible, rebuilding your life with a new home and workplace. it’s why she always tries to push you further out of your comfort zone and into the real world with gentle prodding and much needed assurance. 

she’s at the bakery for almost two hours before she pulls up a chair behind the register and gets that look in her eye you know all too well. it’s the look she gave you the day you accepted the apartment, insisting you take it and make it your own and to not even think about how to pay her back. 

the look she gave you before the trial as she gave you strength, told you that you were strong and you were gonna get through this, with or without your personal statement. 

and apparently it’s the look she gives you when she broaches the topic of you enrolling back in school. 

“so what do you think?” she asks, tone carefree and excited like she’d been thinking about this for weeks. “is that something you’d wanna do?” 

your immediate thought is yes. yes, yes, yes shout it from the rooftops yes. you miss school and learning and all the experiences that come with getting an education. 

you once loved school and had so many aspirations but then your life apart. the prospect of an education or getting a job was dangled in your face as some sort of manipulation tactic.

that when jungkook went too far and left you especially bloody and bruised, he’d mentioned school like it was the answer to all of your problems as a couple. like that was his penance and would win him boyfriend of the year.

and mrs. kim must see the haunted look in your eye, replaying flashbacks and memories from how choices like that weren’t under your control for the longest time. 

“listen to me, stop staying in there,” she says, flicking at your head and making you wince. “is that something you wanna do? yes or no?” 

“yes but i-”

“but nothing,” the old lady says, wiping out an ipad the boys had been teaching her how to use for the past few weeks; the font is the biggest size you’ve ever seen and has a cat case on that almost makes you burst out laughing upon seeing.

“i was looking at the local school, it’s close and cheap but you could always get some financial aid, scholarships or even a loan,” she begins to tell you, eyes squinted and a wrinkle between her browns as she taps on the screen. “this shit is so hard, i’m still trying to learn. oh, great here it is, okay. look, they even have this major.”

you had mentioned once that you thought about a career in journalism to her, one night when you and her were making cookies in her house as the boys tended to her garden (because they were gardeners now, official, professional gardeners who only know how to plant sunflowers). 

tears almost immediately fill in your eyes as you follow her pruny finger, licking over your lips so you don’t start sobbing. 

she looks up at you after a few moments of silence and it’s promptly followed by her smacking your arm, a scoff leaving her mouth that makes you giggle. 

“what are you crying about?” 

the emotion clogged in your throat makes it hard to speak, attempting to talk through the strange contrast of tears and laughter bubbling in your throat. 

“i just... i can’t believe you remember i told you that. it was so long ago.”

“what? you think because i’m old i don’t remember shit? i’m not a senile, y/n, jesus.” 

a wet giggle leaves your mouth as you listen to her talk about the research she’s done, about how to pay and when you can start and her son’s experience at the local college. 

it all makes you feel very hopeful, excited even, as you think about what once seemed impossible. 

getting out in the world and pursuing a passion you as an individual had. making connections and just conversing with different people and seeing relationships form. 

but all of those doubts and fears instilled in you don’t just go away.

you remember months back when you told san you were writing again, he was the one who recommended going back to school. 

was so happy about it that his eyes were shining and dimples were out and you’d never seen someone more handsome.

but now that you guys are...kind of together, would his mind change? does he not want you talking to other people either now? will he think it’s silly or pointless, since you already have you job at the bakery? 

you know deep down that that’s not the kind of person san is. you knew from the moment you met him and risked talking and smiling and laughing with him that he was good.

but that part of you still scared and broken from what you went through, the prospect of school and freedom dangled in your face as some sort of reward or apology, is scared he won’t approve.

and whether it’s unhealthy or not, all you want is san’s approval. 

“c-can i ask you something?” you ask him later that night, both of you cuddled up on the couch.

a blanket’s thrown over your lap with san’s arm around your shoulder, your head now off his chest as you look up at him questioningly. 

he immediately looks down at you with a soft, curious expression, running his hand through your hair as a small smile makes it’s way on his face. 

“anything,” he hums lowly, already making your nervous body feel slightly more calm. 

you have to try and always remember this is the boy who’s been by your side for months, with no complaints. who saved you from your life before this and only wants you to be safe and happy. 

“i was talking to miss kim earlier today...” you begin, his interest already peeked because he thinks he might know where this is going; he was suspicious ever since the older woman asked him how to make the font larger on her ipad. 

he sees the slight apprehension and fear in your eyes so he takes your hand in his, running his thumb over your skin gently and giving you a small, encouraging nod. 

you take a deep breath and try to shake the worry off, opening and closing your mouth before deciding to spit it out. 

“we...were talking about me going back to school. and i...kind of thought that would be something good for me to do. i used to love school and learning and mrs kim. said there’s a lot of things i could do to pay for it and stuff, if i needed to...” 

his chest hurts slightly watching you stammer over your words nervously, your eyes moving from him to the wall as you start to unconsciously hold his hand tighter. 

“but if you don’t want me to or think it’s a stupid idea, i won’t. i just...wanted to make sure it was okay with you.” 

you don’t see the way san sits there in contemplation as you’re too nervous and toying with the edge of the blanket, his face sympathetic but also a little surprised. 

there’s a lot of things that san is still getting used to, the way you’re so vulnerable and attached to him (in a way he doesn’t mind at all). 

but it’s like right now he’s seeing the severity of it, watching as a grown woman asks for his permission for something she absolutely doesn’t.

it makes tears burn the back of his eyes but he quickly pushes the sensation and desire away, his hand lifting your chin so you made his gaze head-on. 

“y/n...you don’t need my permission to do anything. you... you know that, right?”

your eyebrows pull together almost in confusion that he didn’t immediately respond with a yes or no, head cocked to that side as you lick over your lips nervously. 

he can’t help but think if this was a fault on his part. did he make you feel like you have to ask his permission or approval for things? did he maybe at any point make you feel scared or judged when he’s been doing his best to avoid that?

your harsh grip on his hand brings him back to the conclusion that, right now, this isn’t about him. 

whether he did that or not, he has to make sure right now that you know you’re your own person and don’t need to run decisions by him or anyone else. 

“baby, i think it’s great you wanna do that and will support whatever you wanna do. but you don’t have to ask for...my permission to do anything,” san tells you softly, his hand cupping your face as he presses a kiss to your head; the words ‘his permission’ even feel gross on his tongue.

“i’m happy if you’re happy. and if going to school will make you happy, i’m gonna be supportive 100%. you got it, love?” 

you don’t even know why you’re surprised by san’s reaction but it still brings tears to your eyes, only being able to nod before you bury your face in his chest. 

he bites back a smile at the feel of you against him, running his hand up your back to gently rest in your hair. 

“you still wanna study journalism?” he mumbles against your hair and again, you can only nod so you don’t let out the whimper threatening to leave you mouth.

because it still shocks you day after day that everyone in your life now truly seems to care. 

they remember things about you and want to see you smile, always remind you that you can do whatever you want and are slowly making you see that, maybe, you will be okay in the end. 

it may not seem like a lot to someone who’s been lucky enough to have these things but, for you, it’s something you haven’t ever had before.

the ability to giggle and smile and spend your night with someone who you can see really, truly loves you. who wouldn’t do anything to hurt you and always has your best interests in mind.

that’s exactly why when you fall asleep, san can’t help but turn to look at your sleeping form. he runs his hand through your messy hair, moving a strand from your face and feeling his heart lurch at how peaceful and innocent you look. 

he still can’t get the thoughts out of his heads from earlier, wondering if, maybe, this whole time, he hasn’t been doing the right thing. 

maybe these past few months, you should’ve been rebuilding your life on your own. he shouldn’t have been here every, single step of the way to sooth and coddle and protect you. 

it was something hongjoong said just a few weeks after you moved in and he nearly attacked the boy, asking how he could let you cry alone every night and feel lonely and scared in a new place?

but he also knows that hongjoong is more logical than him. he’s always let his emotions get to him, empathetic and caring almost to a fault. 

and with you, he was always even more clouded. 

now, though, he’s seeing that maybe hongjoong has a point. he’s seen it in the way you’ve become more clingy and dependent on him, something he loves and makes him feel warm but also knows, for you, is a part of feeling safe. 

and as hard as it is for him to admit, he knows you need to feel safe without him. slowly rebuild your own sense of self and security without him always being there to wipe your tears or kiss your face. 

but how is supposed to do that? he thinks, watching your sleeping face with a pained chest and burning eyes.

he’s about to get up to get a glass of water before he hears you whine, both his feet not even on the floor before even in your unconscious you can sense his departure. 

“going to get water, love, i’ll be right back,” he mumbles in your ear, kissing the side of your head when you still and roll back over. 

he gulps down the cool liquid before resting his head on the cold fridge, letting out a sigh as he realizes he may need to have another discussion with hongjoong.

even more so when he goes back into the room and sees your face, the slightest hint of discomfort in your pinched eyebrows and frowning lips. 

you turn back over when he crawls in the bed again, your head on his chest and arm wrapping around his stomach. 

he smiles upon hearing your sleepy voice call his name, dazed eyes staring up at him as he kisses the tip of your nose. 

“hi, baby. i’m back.” 

“i love you.”

the confession make his eyes widen and heart speed up, shocked into silence at those three, sudden words. 

because while it’s obvious that’s how you both feel for each other, your sweet touches and words exchanged since the moment you met one another, you two haven’t ever uttered that sentence. 

never put it out in the open and really discussed your feelings for one another. 

but your eyes are shut and breaths turn even before you can even hear his softly spoken, “i love you,” in return. 

and it’s because he loves you that he tells hongjoong about the thoughts he’s been having, wondering if he’s been doing the wrong thing the whole time and just making this transition harder for you. 

“i think you’re trying to make it easier because you love her and don’t wanna see her hurt anymore.” 

san’s eyes meet hongjoong’s across the dining room table at their house, a house san hasn’t slept or eaten at basically since you moved out; everyone knew where he was and they understood it completely but they also missed their friend’s presence. 

“but...she does need to learn to be on her own, san. she’s never done that before and she’s always been dependent on someone. luckily you’re just...so fucking good that it wouldn’t be a problem. but even with her asking you if she could go to school...she’s not okay, yet, san. she needs to sort her shit out.”

“i don’t want her to be alone,” the blonde admits, voice tight and eyes threatening to water. “i don’t want her to think i’m leaving her.”

“you’re not leaving her alone. you’re just not gonna be attached at the hip 24/7. it’s normal for couples to be apart. you still live and pay rent here, you know. everyone misses you.”

the sound of bickering and plates crashing promptly comes from the kitchen, mingi’s harsh yelp of wooyoung’s name causing a commotion of bickering to break out. 

hongjoong looks at san with a half pained, half amused expression, knowing that the dimpled boy  will have to readjust to how loud and chaotic the house is all the time. 

“you don’t have to do right now,” hongjoong says, wanting to finish the discussion before the boys notice san is here and lost their shit. “ease her into it. talk to her about it. see if she feels the same way. but let her know you just wanna help her, because i know you do, right?” 

san’s nod is immediate and hongjoong mirrors him, his eyes quickly widening as he looks over the blonde’s broad shoulder. 

he doesn’t even get to turn around before a slew of bodies bump into him, nearly knocking him onto the floor as six large, excited boys are jumping and squealing around him.

“san! you’re finally home!”

you’re nearly two months into your first semester of college by the time you’ve fully adjusted to your new schedule and pace of life.

classes monday, tuesday and thursdays mornings followed by your shift at the cafe during the afternoons. you miss your early morning regulars dearly and don’t know what to do with the 10+ memorized coffee orders still in your brain but you already love school so much. 

you love learning and talking with your professors and meeting the many different people on campus. you’ve even found a small group of friends, two girls who sat next to you and immediately started up a conversation with you.

you were terffied and shy at first but eventually opened up, giggling and sharing your thoughts with them before class started - you even always made sure to be 10 minutes early so you could get in your chats with them. 

unsurprisingly, san had been nothing but happy and supportive for the entire journey. helping you apply and become familiar with the campus while also assuring you everything was gonna work out. 

your days were busy and packed with work and you truly loved it but night was still your favorite. when san would walk through the door with take out or you’d be greeted with the sight of him waiting for you on the couch. 

it really felt as if your life was finally coming together, happy and at peace in a way you never felt before. it was like you finally had some sort of control over what happened to you, long gone the feeling of knots in your stomach or an uncontrollable shake in your hands. 

but when you notice san is a little more quiet than usual today, you feel that foreign feeling make it’s way back into your body. 

“is...everything okay?” you finally grow the confidence to ask, his hand absentmindley rubbing your leg that’s sprawled out on his lap. 

you can tell the question throws him off by the way he snaps his head up to look at you, brows pulled together and his head cocked cutely to the side as his eyes roam your face. 

“’course love, why do you ask?”

“i don’t know,” you hum softly, leaning the side of your head on the couch as you look at him. “i feel like you’re quiet today.”

“just thinking baby,” he tells you, tightening his hold on your leg before looking your way. “how were classes today?”

“good, i have to start my essay soon,” you tell him, something uneasy still pulling at your stomach; you’re not used to san being quiet or so lost in thought, usually the only time he’s silent is during a new episode of your shows.

“you’ll do great on it,” he says encouragingly, the hand on your leg gently calmingly rubbing your skin up and down. “you’re doing really good, you know that?” 

happiness fills you at the thought of making san proud, a small smile on your face that causes one his own to cross his face. his dimples poke out and it reminds you so much of your first meeting, when the sun reflected off of him and you just knew there was something too pure and good about this man.

“thank you,” you smile softly, a faint blush on your cheeks that has san’s heart breaking in his chest even more.

he doesn’t wanna have this conversation tonight but he thinks it would be the best time. bring up maybe not staying over every night to create some more space for you while also allowing you to be more independent. learning how to fill your time with things other than him.

but you’re so happy tonight. 

you’ve been so happy these past few months and he doesn’t wanna be the person to ruin that; it seems, though, you can see something behind his eyes and in his demeanor already, your body wiggling closer to him as your gaze shifts nervously. 

“are you sure you’re okay?” 

he lets out a sigh and you can’t help the way your stomach drops, watching carefully as his face turns contemplative and torn. like he wants to say something but isn’t sure if you’re gonna be able to handle it. 

and that alone is scaring the shit out of you. 

the silence is probably only fifteen seconds but it feels like hours, your eyes staring wide and heart starting to race as you look at him; you don’t know what you did but you had to have done something, right? he wouldn’t just act like this out of nowhere. 

“did i...do something wrong?” you ask meekly, that feeling of fear and panic you haven’t felt in almost a year creeping back. you almost forgot how debilitating this feeling is, fully consuming your body until you feel like you’re about to completely breakdown and crumble. 

the fear and concern on your face immediately makes him frown, shaking his head adamantly as he pulls you closer to him. 

“no, no, no, y/n, of course not,” he assures softly, his lips brushing against your head. 

you feel his calming breaths in your hair, like he already knows from the slight waver in your voice and look on your face that you’re getting worked up and anxious. 

the few moments of silence should make you more anxious but you can only focus on his breathing and the warmth from his body against you, trying to stay calm as you remember that this is san and he would never do or say anything to hurt you. 

“i’ve just been thinking about some things and i wanna talk to you about it,” san says, breaking the silence and immediately making your stomach flip nervously. “it’s nothing bad, baby, i just... you know i always have your best interest in mind, right?”

you swallow the lump growing in your throat as you turn to look at him, the soft look in his eye making you happy as much as it makes you sad. 

because while you love seeing it, how sweet and thoughtful and truly kind he is, you know it’s also there because he thinks you’re about to lose your shit. and you haven’t lost your shit in quite some time. 

“i-i know...” 

he takes your face in his hands when your eyes start to wander, the quiet hum leaving his mouth making you look up at him again. the look in his eyes truly stirs something in you, tears burning your eyes even though you’re not even sure why yet. 

“and you know i’ll never, ever hurt you?”

you nod again, feeling panic deep within your chest at where this conversation seems to be going.

“so what i’m about to suggest, i need you to hear me out, okay?”

he waits until you nod, his stomach sinking at the glossed over look in your eyes before he daringly opens his mouth again. 

tells you that he thinks you living on your own while you start a new chapter of your life will be a good thing for you both. that learning to be independent and on your own will help you immensely in this new part of your life. 

“you’ve been doing so good, y/n, and i’m so proud of you. you’ve started school and you work full time and you’re doing all the things you want to do. but we’re together all the time, baby, and i...i don’t know if that’s healthy, for either of us, you know?”

and you think to the average person, who hasn’t been abused and neglected and spent the last five years in normal, healthy circumstances, they would hear this and understand immediately. 

that being alone and learning how to be on your own is a good, healthy thing that everyone needs to experience. 

but all your brain can hear is he doesn’t wanna be with you anymore. 

he’s tired of your brokenness and tired of looking after you all the time and needs some space from you; and while, you suppose, you can’t blame him, it doesn’t hurt you any less. 

it doesn’t terrify you or upset you any less, even though you know his intentions are good; you can only feel unwanted and unworthy and like your time with someone so much better than you is up. 

“is it...i just...do you not like it here? with me?”

did you not keep it clean enough? did you not cook enough, were the meals too frequently takeout and leftovers? you remember jungkook hated that, demanding the house be spotless and dinner be ready and homemade. 

san would laugh at the question if this weren’t the current situation, a serious talk he’s been dreading having because he knows how you’re gonna take it at first. 

but he loves being here and that’s the problem. 

he would coddle you and love you and protect you for as long as you let him if it were up to him. but he knows that’s not what you need anymore, that you’re both not helping anyone if you continue to live your life in what became too comfortable and safe. 

you deserve comfortable and safe but you also deserve to live happily and freely by yourself. and maybe that’s not his decision to make, he often thinks, but he certainly doesn’t think he’s helping you by enabling you to depend on him. 

“baby, i love it here and i love you and i’ll never leave you until you tell me to,” san says, pressing a kiss to each cheek he prays tears don’t fall on in the next few minutes. “but i want you to be okay, love. i don’t want you to need me every night to sleep or think you need to ask my permission for things that are your choice.”

“is that- is that what this is about? that i asked you if i could go to school?” you ask meekly, the idea of talking back foreign but something you can’t control right now. “or is it because i’m in school?”

because maybe you’ve been too busy. maybe he feels like you neglected him. maybe he just wanted an out and this is it. 

“of course it’s not because you’re in school,” san says, slight outrage in his voice as you even suggest that; he always tries to control his responses to you, knowing you’re dealing with years worth of manipulative behavior and maltreatment, but sometimes it does also get to him. 

he was always supportive of your career and education, even when you were just friends and he admired you from afar.

“how could you think that?”

“because this is so random,” you squeak out, tears breaking through as the knot in your throat grows bigger. “i...i didn’t even know you were feeling this way and now you wanna stop seeing me.”

“i don’t wanna stop seeing you, y/n, when did i say that?” san asks, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you contemplatively. 

“you said you don’t want to be together all the time...” you mutter out, feeling stupid and childish but not yet truly understanding what he means. you guys don’t fight at all and you’re always smiling and laughing together - isn’t it okay to be together all the time if good things like that are happening?

“y/n, i love you, of course i wanna still see you. but i just mean...living together the way we have these past months. you’ve never been alone. you’ve always depended on someone, right?” 

you think back to your dysfunctional childhood, depending on alcoholic parents who never taught you how to fend for yourself until you fell into the arms of yet another abuser who you depended on even further.

restricted company and meals and communication, even restricted in what you could do outside the walls of your house. 

“yes,” you nod, sniffling as you wipe at a stray tear on your cheek. “but they’ve only ever hurt me. you never do.”

that fact makes san’s chest pang with hurt, his own eyes burning with tears now as he thinks about how much pain you’ve endured. 

“i know, baby, and i never will. but i think this’ll be good for us. good for you, mostly, that’s always my mian concern.” 

but you start to wonder how this could possibly be good the second the front door closes a few hours later, leaving you alone in your apartment that now feels far too cold and far too dark and far too empty. 

his lack of presence is noticable immediately and it doesn’t take long for panic and sadness and all that existential dread you once felt so deeply start to come on.

he doesn’t want you, nobody wants you, and the only people who did want you hurt you. 

it’s a mantra you repeat in your head as you cry silently, splashing your face with cold water after your puffy eyes can’t take it anymore. and when you get a good look at yourself in the mirror, tear-stained and blotchy and a big fucking mess, you can’t help but see that same girl who was trapped in that house with jungkook.

weak and afraid and horribly incapable of doing anything right. so similiar to the current state you’re in now, sinking down on the bathroom floor and crying into your hands again. 

this could be about san leaving, you know it has something to do with it, but you’re also crying because you now see just how badly you’re still effected by everything. 

you could be distracted by school and work and san but there’s still so much under the surface that you haven’t come to terms with. 

so much so to the point that even san had to step in and do something about it, him still seeing signs that you’re not okay despite how much everyone in your life is trying with you.

and it makes you feel bad that you have so many supportive, lovely people in your life but still can’t find it in you to feel okay. to not depend on one singlar blonde man to make you feel happy or act as if without him, you’re gonna break.

because you can see he’s tired of it. if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have-

“y/n?” 

his voice coupled with his fist hitting the door causes you to jump, at first thinking it’s a bittersweet trick your deluded little mind is playing on you. but then he knocks again, his sweet murmur of “y/n, please open the door,” causing you to cry out again.

hongjoong told him not to go, that he’d barely been home for an hour before he was already itching to rush back to you. 

but he felt uneasy leaving the way he did in the first place, and then even more so when you didn’t answer his three messages and two facetime calls; he hated thinking that you were crying alone or feeling upset. 

and it’s heartbreakingly evident when you reach up to open the door, curled up on the floor in tears, that that’s exactly how you feel. 

“baby, no,” san hums lowly, immediately dropping to the floor so he can gather you in his lap.

it’s so much like the scene when you ran there after the final incident with jungkook, when you collapsed on the floor and finally told somebody about what you’d been going through. 

what happened?" he asks desperately, voice strained and wavering.

but you can only shake your head and cry. cry for how long you've been dealing with this alone and how you feel trapped and how if you don't tell someone tonight.

"he's gonna kill me," you sob out as you shake your head frantically now, "i-i he's gonna kill me," is all you can repeat through ragged breaths.

san can only act on instinct, sitting down cross-legged and holding his arms out slightly before you crash into him. he shakily inhales when your head rests on his shoulder, sobs muffled by his shirt as he feels tears promptly soak through the material.

but he can only sit there, hand on the back of your head as he rocks you soothingly in his lap back and forth.

he listens to your sobs with a broken heart, tears stinging his own eyes because he had suspected something was going on for months and just sat here and did nothing. and now here you are, broken and bruised and in fear for your life.

"i can't go back there," you cry out, "i-he's gonna-"

"no one is gonna hurt you, anymore," he mumbles lowly in your ear, "i'm not gonna let that happen."

“you’re- you’re gonna leave me,” you whimper into his shirt, the only sound in your bathroom for the past few minuets your crying and his soothing hums. “you’re not gonna wanna deal with me anymore and leave and then i’ll really be alone and i’m so-”

“i’m not going anywhere. i’m not gonna let that happen,” he mumbles in your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he presses his lips to your head. he rocks you back and forth so similarly to that night, his hand running up and down your back as he tries to get you to calm down.

“we’re gonna get you help. real help. and we’ll all be here for you whenever you need us. you’re gonna be okay, my love.”

one year later:

you look back at the breakdown in your bathroom and are always surprised that you don’t feel embarrassed.

you think that was the moment when you finally realized how much you’d gone through and how much you really had to sort through. that you could distract yourself all you want and depend on san as much as you felt you needed but you still had things to work through. 

it took you about four therapist consultations to find the right one, eventually finding a sweet older woman who reminded you so much of your boss at the cafe. she listened to you and encouraged you and helped you find so much strength within yourself, you regret not taking your lawyer’s advice sooner about seeing a professional.

you still had bad days, of course, but now you’ve learned how to properly cope with them. cope with the stressors of everyday life, like the shouting of voices and the slamming of doors and san not being by your side 24/7. 

and san, little to your surprise, had done the right thing in saying you needed to learn to be independent.

it scared you at first, living alone and being alone with your thoughts and memories that tried to haunt you every chance they got. but now your life is so full of happy ones that it makes everything a little bit easier; you now love the freedom of living alone and have come to enjoy the peaceful silences of your apartment.

you now have so many things to laugh and feel happy about, like mingi and seonghwa’s obsession with gardening (even though they’ve moved on to vegetables now and have yet to combat the battle with squirrels eating their tomatoes). 

you have school and classes and friends that you made, making straight a’s while also balancing time with your study group, the boys and mrs. kim and your official boyfriend san. 

there are still some days when you wake up and feel a sinking feeling in your stomach that you think might be there forever, a certain smell or certain pain richoetting through your body that will remind you of what you went through and survived. 

but you know that you’ll be able to get through it, not only because you’re strong enough now but because you still have san to lean on - the boy in question currently with his arms wrapped tight around your waist and snoring down your neck. 

you can’t help the small smile on your face as you turn in his hold, your finger reaching out to trace the contours of his face. 

the warm, overwhelming feeling in your chest should scare you but it makes you feel even more happy and content with life, shutting your eyes immediately when his brown eyes meet yours. 

his loud chuckle fills the room before he lips attack your neck, quiet giggles leaving your mouth that only spur the blonde on more. 

“i saw that,” he mumbles playfully, smiling against your skin as your giggles get louder. “good morning, baby.” 

you pull back and smile at the boy staring down at you lovingly, the late-morning sun beaming through your window reminding you so much of the first time you saw him. 

heard his sweet, friendly voice that you immediately trusted and probably fell in love with right there.

"those are coming out really nice!" you hear a voice say from the yard next door. 

you shoot your head to the side to see a young man standing there, probably about your age, eyes kind and dimples poking out of his cheeks as he holds an overflowing white garbage bag.

your lips quirk up ever so slightly, probably being mistaken for your mouth twitching before you give him a tiny bow.

"thank you."

tag list: @mochibabycakes​ @atinyarmyx1​ @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich​ @minbinwhore​ @chrryhwa​ @chogiout​ @marksflvr​ @bunbaebae​ @markleeyeosang​ @inkigayeo​ @nlost21​ @toffee-hwa​

[mandoalorian]

I Believe In Love [Maxwell Lord x F!Reader] — Eleven: Love - SMUT

Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person’s relationship with his son. You’ve heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You’ve felt his pain and anguish and you’ve never been able to relate to anything more. But things don’t come easy for you, and they certainly don’t come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].

Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected p in v, cunningless, tit play, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, food and drink mention, emotional because we’re nearing the end, a family being brought together and our favourite soft, sad dad loving his son and, well… you.

Word count: 4300>

REBLOGS APPRECIATED.

Masterlist 

Previous - Chapter Eleven - Next

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Just entering Black Gold Cooperative again, when you thought the previous night would be your last, drew tears to your eyes. This extensive size office was the place you’d first journeyed too upon venturing to the world of man. The building meant more to you than you had first realised, and it held so many amazing memories of self discovery. Your eyes flicked between the velvet sofa where you had once slept on, and the plants that peppered each corner of the lobby. They were vibrant and filled with life, symbolic of new beginnings. Now, the only magic in the air was love. You could feel it, Maxwell could feel it, and from the way Alistair perked up as you sneaked up behind him, he could feel it too. Love truly was the most powerful thing.

Seeing the way Alistair ran into his father’s arms, and the way he squeezed Max so tight -- like he was afraid to let him go, was enough to make your heart melt into your chest. “Daddy! You’re back!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Did you win?” He asked, his dark brown eyes glittering with hope. Alistair tugged on Max’s dark blonde shaggy hair as he waited for a reply.

“Yeah buddy, I won,” Max chuckled breathlessly. With those two words of affirmation, Alistair burst into tears. You took a step back as you watched the interaction, sensing how high the emotion was. You knew that Max had waited for this day to come for a long time. “No no, don’t cry. You should be happy.” Max cooed apologetically, his eyes widening as he tried his hardest to comfort his son. You were no longer a Goddess, and you had been stripped of your powers, but you could still feel the compassion between them both. And it was beautiful.

“I am happy,” Alistair choked out in between sobs, pulling back to look at his father. Max wiped away Alistair’s tears and offered him a weak smile.  “This is all I’ve ever wanted.” Alistair confessed, nuzzling his face into his father’s chest.

Max sniffed and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “I’m going to redeem myself for everything, Ali. I know… I know I’ve done terrible things and made big mistakes, and I really am a pretty messed up loser but--”

“No,” Alistair cut him off, his tone chaste. “Daddy, you’re a winner. Thank you for fighting for me.”

“Always,” Maxwell hummed, picking up Alistair and cradling him in his arms. “Let’s go home.”

***

Maxwell drove, and Alistair insisted that you sit in the back of the car with him. You obliged, unable to ever refuse the bright eyed little boy. Alistair’s small, clammy hands squeezed yours and he watched intently as you gazed out the window, entranced by all the things you passed. There was still a lot you had to get used to, but it brought you comfort knowing that now, at least you had the time. There was no pressure to return back to Themyscira. D.C. was your home. Wherever Alistair and Max was, you were home.

Alistair nuzzled his head into you and closed his eyes, feeling completely content with your company. “I like your new outfit.” he hummed, his fingers tracing your glimmering gold belt.

“You do?” you asked curiously, and felt Alistair nod against you. “You know Ali, I sorta prefer the normal clothes.” you shrugged, and caught Maxwell smiling in the reflection of the rear view mirror.

“I like this,” Alistair admitted. “You look like a superhero. Like… from my comic books.”

“You don’t need a fancy costume to be a hero, Alistair,” you said, tapping his chin so he looked up at you. “Your dad is proof of that.”

***

Maxwell dropped his keys on the side table by the front door when the three of you returned home. “Are you guys hungry?” he questioned, scratching the back of his head. After a day in court, he’d worked up quite the appetite, he must admit.

Alistair grinned and nodded his head. “Starving! Can we get pizza? Please daddy, oh please can we get pizza?” 

“Hmph,” Maxwell grumbled, displaying a faux annoyance before bursting into an adorable grin. “I suppose so. Since it’s a day to celebrate.” 

“Yay!” Alistair cheered, running into the living room and jumping on the sofa. By the sounds of it, he’d found the remote control for the television and turned on one of his favourite kiddie TV shows.

Walking over to the telephone, Maxwell caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the many mirrors in the hallway and frowned. He was happy, but Gods did he still look a mess. The blonde in his hair was rapidly fading out and he was in desperate need of a trim. He’d been neglecting his biotin supplements and forgetting to moisturize, and oh, his tired eyes. You caught him hyper analyzing his appearance and approached him from behind. Pressing a kiss into his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist, you sighed.

“What are you thinking about?” you wondered out loud.

Maxwell swallowed. “I just… I’m not the man I once was,” he ran his fingers through his hair and gestured down to the power suit that he’d worn to court. “I’m not Max Lord anymore. Not this… big oil tycoon businessman. Not on TV anymore. This whole thing is a facade. It’s not me. And everytime I look at myself… I’m reminded of all the mistakes that I made,” he admitted quietly before taking a shaky exhale. “It’s fine,” he quickly backtracked. “Guess I’ll just have to suck it up.”

“The worst part is over, Max. And you’re a survivor,” you told him, taking his hand. “The world can forgive you, but it means nothing if you can’t forgive yourself. You need to learn to love yourself.”

“Will you help me?” Maxwell asked quietly, a nervous tone prominent in his voice.

You offered him a warm smile. “That’s why I’m here,” you reminded him sweetly. “To help.”

Maxwell turned around to face you fully and placed a hand on your cheek. You swore, in that moment and under his touch, that you had forgotten how to breathe. Max might not have been able to see it, but he truly was so beautiful. The gold in his former life may have been gilded, but the gold in his heart was pure and authentic. And now, it was all yours.

Maxwell pulled his tie off his neck and shuffled out of his suit jacket. “I think it might be time for me to hang up this tie for good.” Maxwell sighed sadly, running the patterned silk material between his fingers.

“Do you want to?”

Maxwell paused for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I’ve worked so hard to get here… I just can’t give Black Gold up.”

“Then don’t.” you whispered, shuffling your body into his. He snaked an arm around you and sighed even louder.

“It’s not that easy, darling. I don’t have the money to keep it going.” 

“I won’t let you give up on your lifelong dream, so… we’ll figure something out. Maybe you’ll have to downsize. If oil isn’t making you any money then maybe… you might have to specialise in something else. If the past week has proved anything it’s that all our problems can be figured out through the power of love. And you have that. Right here,” you maneuvered his hand and placed it on your heart before pointing your free hand into the living room at Alistair. The door stood slightly ajar. “And right there.”

Maxwell smiled. “There’s a thing, here. In the world of man…” you could tell he was about to start rambling about Goodness know what. He looked up slightly, avoiding your eye contact as he talked. “Where two people… love each other, a lot. And so they make a promise to dedicate themselves to one another. Asking you to be my girlfriend sounds a little childish,” Maxwell chuckled softly and your eyes widened when you realised where he was going with this. “But I guess… if you wanted…”

“I do!” You said quickly, cutting him off before he could even finish.

“You do?” Maxwell asked, truly stunned that you had agreed so fast. He couldn’t believe someone as magnificent as you would love him back, let alone want to be with him. He never thought he was deserving of love, especially after everything that had happened. If Maxwell had never met you, he would’ve been certain that he’d grow old, cold and alone. 

“I do.” you confirmed, grinning and pressing your lips into his.

The genuine smile that was on his face when he pulled away was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. More beautiful than the sands and oceans on Themyscira. More beautiful than the landmarks and caves in Athens. It differed to his television smile. This was one hundred percent authentic. This was Maxwell Lorenzano. “I’m going to change into my pajamas,” you announced. “And I’ll bring Ali upstairs with me and have him get ready for bed.”

“Okay,” Max acknowledged, still grinning. “I’ll set the dining room table for the pizza.”

You guided Alistair upstairs and followed him into his bedroom. You sat down on his bed, and pulled him down to sit next to you. “I told you I had a gift for you, from Athens.” you smiled and watched as Alistair’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Yes!” Alistair cried out, bouncing up and down.

You detached the lasso of Hestia from your tunic and placed the rope gently in his hands. “This is my lasso of truth. Remember that one night when I met Julianna and Theodore, and I came to visit you? And I showed you how it worked? Do you remember?”

Alistair nodded slowly. “Yes. You told me the lasso wasn’t powered by you. It was powered by the truth.” 

“That’s right,” you confirmed, your heart swelling at how Alistair had retained that piece of information. “The lasso is important to me because it was a gift from my mother. And now, I’m passing it down to you. I didn’t get this in Athens, but it is from Athens originally. I hope my lasso will be a constant reminder for you to always tell the truth, and always see the good in people.”

Alistair’s jaw was agape and he was struck with awe as his fingers traced the magical rope. “I love it…” he whispered.

“I’m glad,” you smiled. “It’s very powerful Ali. Who knows, one day you might be able to use it.”

“And I can be a superhero just like you…” Alistair grinned before biting his lip. “And just like my daddy.”

“Exactly. Just like your daddy. C’mon now, I want you to go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Then we can go order our pizza, okay?”

Before you left his bedroom, Alistair called your name. You sensed hesitancy in his voice, almost like he was nervous. “Can I… can I try out the lasso... on you? Maybe?”

You wanted to ask him why the child might possibly want to do that, but then you realised, he was probably just curious. So, you obliged, and held out your wrist. Remembering how you’d shown him before, Alistair wrapped the rope around your arm and took a deep breath.

“Do you love my daddy?” Alistair asked, after taking a deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Will you promise not to leave him, ever?” 

“I promise.”

“Would you mind if… if… I called you mommy?”

You felt warm tears prick the corners of his eyes. A mother. It’s everything you had always wanted to be. You were the goddess of home and hearth. The urge to one day have a family was in your nature.

“I’d love that, Ali.” you admitted.

Alistair pulled the rope from your wrist and enveloped you into a tight hug. “Okay. Because I love you mommy.”

“I love you too.”

***

“What do you want?” Maxwell asked his son, pen in hand. He’d been scribbling down the order, the businessman in him wanting to have everything planned out before he made the phone call.

“Pineapple pizza! The biggest one!” Alistair exclaimed gleefully, stretching out his arms. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ali, you won’t eat it all,” Maxwell frowned. You nudged him, as if to say, ‘let him have this’. “Okay,” Max sighed. “The biggest pineapple pizza. And what do you want?” he asked, turning to you this time. You furrowed your eyebrows together, taking another look at the menu that had been passed around the dining room table.

“How do I know what’s good?”

“Well, not pineapple.” Maxwell grumbled. 

Alistair gasped, unable to believe the words that had just left his father’s lips. “Don’t listen to him,” Alistair said, grabbing your hand. “Daddy is wrong. Pineapple pizza is so delicious. Will you try some of mine?”

You squeezed the little boy’s hand. “Sure,” you agreed. Maxwell swore his heart melted everytime he witnessed interaction between you and his son. It was so pure, it was like you and Alistair had known each other forever. Granted, you’d known the little boy longer than you knew Maxwell. The day you woke up in the park felt like yesterday. “What do you like, Max?” you quizzed, eventually giving up on the menu. 

“Pepperoni, I guess. I don’t eat pizza much.” He admitted sheepishly. Before you could reply, Alistair’s voice made you jump up in shock.

“Boring!” He called out. Max shot him a playful glare and you rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t be rude!” Maxwell chastised, wiggling his index finger, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face.

“He’s like you,” you pointed out. “Always has something to say.”

“My son.” Maxwell declared proudly, pulling Alistair into his lap and ruffling his dark hair.

Just like Max had anticipated, Alistair couldn’t eat the large pineapple pizza. In fact, he’d fallen asleep on the sofa after only two slices, a Star Wars blanket draped over him and a stuffed toy curled tight into his chest.

“Alistair asked me if it would be alright if he called me mommy,” you admitted quietly as Maxwell gathered the plates and empty glasses. His head snapped to face you the second the words left your lips. “I told him yes. But I figured… maybe you should have some say in it? I don’t know.”

“It means a lot to me that Ali can put his faith in you, and that he sees you as his mother. But this is a big deal. Family is for life and I don’t… he’s already lost one mother. I don’t want him to lose you too. So of course, it’s fine by me. As long as you promise to always be a mother to him, no matter what.”

“Always,” you whispered in reassurance, cupping Maxwell’s cheek and gazing into his dark eyes. “I promise.”

“I believe you,” Maxwell replied, kissing you on the forehead. “I should take him to bed.”

“Let me handle it,” you replied, stretching before leaning down to pick up the sleeping boy and cradling him in your arms. Clearly, somewhere down the line, you had forgotten you had been stripped of your powers and you were now a mortal. You let out a yelp. Once able to carry Alistair easily, you were now struggling. You wobbled slightly and Max hurried to your side to hold you and help you keep your balance.

“You okay?” Max asked, quirking an eyebrow. “He’s heavier than he looks.” you gasped, already a little breathless.

“Wanna trade?” he quizzed, raising a plate.

You mumbled a ‘yes’ and passed Alistair over to his father. “I’ll do the dishes and meet you upstairs.”

***

Max was still with Alistair by the time you had finished up the dishes and headed to the bedroom. You sat by the dressing table, brushing out your hair, and looked at the pile of discarded armour sat in the corner of the room. Maybe one day it would come of use, but for now, this was it. This was the start of a new life where you didn’t need no Amazonian armour. With Maxwell and Alistair, you had all the protection you could ever need.

“Hi,” Maxwell whispered, padding into the bedroom. You turned to face him and smiled. “I’m glad to be home… now… with you. Glad this is all over.”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and began to rub them affectionately. “Me too.” you replied warmly, leaning into his touch and nuzzling your head into his chest. You closed your eyes in contentment. Every second you spent with Max, you spent wishing it would last forever. Although you knew better than to make a wish.

“Are you tired?” Max pondered, smoothing out your hair and admiring your face.

Pushing back your hair and admiring your beauty was up there with one of his most favourite things to do. Your eyes looked like home, your lips tasted like home. You were home.

“Mm, no, not really…” you confessed, staring at the image of both you and Max in the reflection of the dressing table mirror. But Max’s gaze was fixated only on you. “Actually. I had an idea, since you know, we’re celebrating and all,” you confessed after a brief moment of comfortable silence. Maxwell raised a curious eyebrow and waited for you to continue. “Remember our first night back in Athens when we…” you trailed off and glanced over towards the bed.

“Yeah.” Max answered, already breathless from the thought.

“I liked it a lot.” You admitted bashfully as you reminisced on your first time with Maxwell.

“Me too.” he agreed.

“So do you want to do it again…?”

Max didn’t reply with words, but instead he pulled you up from the stool that you were sitting on and twirled you around so you were facing him. He crashed his lips onto yours and let his large hands freely roam your back, desperate to feel every inch of your body. He’d been waiting to do this again.

Without breaking away from the kiss, you pushed him towards his bed and climbed on top of him. You straddled his hips and began to run your hands over his chest, leaning over and kissing along his jaw and down his neck. Feeling his cock already hot and heavy, he cursed under his breath, dipping his hand under the hem of your silk nightgown and smirking upon finding that you weren’t wearing any underwear. He slowly slid his thick fingers between your folds, causing you to gasp at the sudden bolt of pleasure that ran through you. His thumb began to circle your clit and you dug your fingers into his shoulders as he worked at your bundle of nerves.

He loved to look at you and watch as your face twisted in pleasure. He liked to know you were feeling good. His fingers were like magic, and he truly had a golden touch.

“Want you to cum on my fingers, okay?” Max asked, increasing the speed. You tried to push out a word but just came out as a mangled moan. You nodded your head, feeling your cunt desperately clench around nothing and your thighs tighten as you neared orgasm. 

When you came undone, Max’s dark eyes gleamed with desire and pride. He pulled his fingers from under your nightgown and placed them on his tongue, sucking your arousal from his own digits.

“You taste amazing baby,” He praised, unable to contain his smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You replied back with a smile.

Both you and Max made your way over to the bed, stripping yourself out of your clothes and intertwining your bodies together. 

“I don’t ever want this moment to end.” you confessed with a shaky exhale as Maxwell squeezed your breasts, peppering kisses down the valley of your chest.

“It doesn’t have to, princess, we have the rest of our lives to spend together.”

There it was again. The dumb nickname he’d called you from the day you first met. You’d insist that you weren’t a princess, and by no means royalty, but to Maxwell, you were. You were his princess. A rose stuck amongst a bush of thorns. You were the epitome of hope, beauty and love. And you were all his.

So the nickname grew on you, and you’d come to like it.

You felt the tip of Maxwell’s cock tease against your entrance as he swiftly rubbed his length up and down, between your glistening wet folds. By the time he pushed himself inside of you, just the scrunched up look on his face was enough to make your stomach erupt into butterflies. The crinkle in between his eyebrows and the way his perfect lips parted into an ‘o’ shape as your walls clamped around him.

“Fuck, you-you’re so tight,” He gasped, the Adams apple in his neck prevailing as he tried to swallow away his desire. “Always so tight. So per-perfect. Good girl. Such a go-good girl.” he praised, a small strand of dark blonde hair falling out of place and crossing his forehead.

You shuddered at his words.

“Look at me,” you begged, and he obliged, his chocolate coloured eyes snapping open. Despite the glaze of lust that seemed to cloud his vision, he was able to fixate on you, spending a few moments adoring your face -- the face he fell in love with -- as he remained seated deep inside you. He was stretching you open and Gods, it felt delicious, but you needed more. You desperately needed more. “Move, please.” you whimpered, bringing your hands up to cup his face.

Maxwell began to rock his hips into yours, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every thrust. He leaned over you and pressed his forehead against yours as he picked up his speed. “Don’t be too loud,” he warned quietly, his warm breath fanning over your ear.

It wasn’t long before he felt his cock twitch inside of you. “Shit,” he moaned, squeezing your shoulder to signify that he was close. “Neither of us are protected-- fuck, I need, I need to pull out.” 

“Mm, no, no Max. Keep going. Don’t stop.” You begged, your fingers tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You could get pregnant.” he rasped out, suddenly remembering you were now a mortal.

“Would it really be so bad?” you asked, and your question alone was enough to throw Maxwell over the edge.

Would it really be so bad?

You had a point. Max had never imagined having any more kids. Hell, he’d never really planned on having Alistair. But times had changed, and he was so in love with you. He figured -- maybe kids were something he could give another go at. Little mini you’s running around the house would simply be so adorable. And who better to have children with, than the goddess of home and hearth? Having a family was written in your destiny. It was always meant to be. Given the time and the place, the prospect of having kids, getting you pregnant… it just felt right.

The start of a new life… both figuratively and literally.

Of course he was certain that this was what you wanted, and evidently, you wanted it to. But the idea of seeing you swole and round, carrying his children… well that was a whole different thing.

“Fuck princess, you’re gonna look so good carrying my baby.” Maxwell grounded, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

You felt your orgasm wash over you, and your walls clamp around his cock. That was enough to push him over the edge.

Maxwell came inside of you, and he made sure to cum deep, too. Once he’d regained his breath, he grabbed two pillows from his side of the bed and propped them under your butt so the lower half of your body was higher than your upper half.

“What are you doing?” you giggled.

“Making sure not a drop of it goes to waste,” Maxwell replied as he pressed sloppy kisses along your inner thighs.

And when he caught a glimpse of his seed beginning to spill out of you, he plunged his index finger and pushed it back in. 

“I love you so much.” You whispered as Maxwell smoothed out your hair and kissed your lips.

“I love you too, darling. And I can’t wait to embark on this new life together.”

You pondered for a moment, relishing in the comfortable silence before you brought your index finger and pointed it towards Maxwell. “Life is good, but it can be better.”

Maxwell was trying his damn hardest to fight the grin that was edging to cross his lips. How could one person be so adorable?

“It can always be better.” he whispered, bringing his hand down to your stomach and kissing you again.

———————————————

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @ladyjenny19 @readsalot73 @softmedics

I Believe In Love taglist : (tagged in replies!)

[n0wornever]

Don’t Forget - Owen Joyner x Reader

Omg can I pls request Owen x reader where they fight about not feeling important to one another maybe he missed a date and she missed a release party or something so they have a mega fight but make up later that night either cuddling in bed or soaking in silence in a bubble bath (idk if that’s specific enough for you)

This was perfect, @cherrymaybank​, I hope you like it! 

Also, I don’t have an Owen Joyner taglist, and I wasn’t sure if the JATP list I had would be interested in actor content, so if you want to be placed on  a separate list....let me know! 

Y/N tapped on the table below her as she watched the diner clock hand strike 6:30. She had been waiting for her boyfriend for over an hour and the pity milkshake the waitress gave her only did so much to sooth her disappointment. She took one more sip of the strawberry drink before her eyes were pulled back to her phone. 

As she clicked on the Instagram app, she was immediately met by a video of Owen and Charlie goofing around in the airbnb they rented for the weekend. Charlie made a makeshift drumset from a couple pans in kitchen and Owen was singing off key in the background. Her finger slid a little further to see that the post had been uploaded only minutes before. 

Her brows furrowed as she closed the app and turned off her phone screen. She turned to her left, unzipping her purse and rummaging through its contents. As she stumbled upon her wallet and pulled it out onto the table, she heard a soft voice reach out to her.

“Oh honey, don’t even worry about it.” 

Her eyes rose to see the sympathetic smile of the kind red-headed waitress who had her hands clasped at her chest as she looked at her. Y/N’s eyes darted to the table where she’d set two pastel colored macaroons. She opened her mouth to protest, but the woman walked away, clanking her heels against the linoleum before she could even get the words out. She sighed, placing her wallet back into the bag. Her hand inched toward the treats, hesitating over the box for a moment before gripping it tightly. She zipped up the bag and threw it over her shoulder as she made her way to the exit. 

When Owen still lived in the city, she wouldn’t have probably been half as upset as she was about him missing a single date. However, the blonde had been so far away from her in California for months, and this would have been the first time she’d see him before he’d jet set again in a few days back to the coast for some promotional shoots for the next season. He had plans to take the boys out tomorrow and visit his mom Sunday afternoon, so she knew this was the only day she’d be able to catch him.

She stepped out into the warm summer air, walking down the sidewalk toward her car. The sun was at its peak, causing her to squint as she walked briskly back to her car. She grabbed her keys out of her jeans pocket and pressed it into the lock. As she climbed into the driver’s seat, she weighed her options.

She could go over to Owen’s airbnb, like they planned to after dinner, or she could go home and just call him about it later. With the embarrassment of everyone in the room looking at her in that corner booth still fresh on her mind, her foggy one-track-mind chose the first option. 

He had given her the address ahead of time, in case she wanted to come over before they went out that night anyway, right? Y/N’s finger tapped against the steering wheel as she pondered the situation in front of her for a moment. Owen’s time in the city was very minimal and if she didn’t confront him now, she may not get a chance to, and the anger would boil inside of her for several more months.

She shook out of her trance, placing the key into the ignition and swiftly pulled out of the lot, making her way to the boy’s place. 

After a few minutes of driving, a line of similar looking townhomes came into view on the right side of the road. She flipped on her turn signal and pulled into the parking lot. She quickly looked down at her phone in her lap to confirm the building number. The third home down was her destination. As she pulled into a spot right across from the bright red door, she let out another deep breath. 

She shook out her hands for a moment before turning off her car and unbuckling her seatbelt. She unzipped her purse and pulled the silver lined box out, pinching it between her fingers. She closed her eyes for a moment before finally letting herself open the door. 

As she made her way to the entrance, her free hand balled into a fist and her lips fell into a thin neutral line across her mouth. She jogged up the few stairs that led to the door. She lifted her hand to press against the door, letting it drop back down to her side afterward as she waited. 

It took a minute, but she finally started to hear the handle move from the the inside of the house. It finally broke free and she stood face to face with her boyfriend’s blue eyes. Owen looked over at her with a bright smile, but that shortly faded as he took in her expression. She didn’t say a word before handing over the little box to the boy, trying to ignore the fact that her hand were shaking as it move toward him. Owen’s eyebrow rose as he grabbed it from her, trying to latch onto her other hand afterward. Y/N shook from his grip and took a step back.

“I just wanted to bring you something from the diner...since you couldn’t make it,” She said, letting her eyes finally meet his.

Owen’s eyes widened as he looked at her. He shoved the box in his pocket, stepping forward toward her. As soon as his hands grabbed onto hers, she slipped right through. She chewed down on her lip before continuing her thought.

“Don’t worry about it, have fun with the boys.” 

She placed her hands in her pockets and turned to walked down the stairs. She heard him call after her, but she just kept her head down as she made her way back to the car. 

It wasn’t until she was sitting in the vehicle again that she let herself fully breathe. She looked out the windshield to see Owen still standing on the porch, watching her. She brought her focus back down the the steering wheel and put the car in drive. Her eyes caught his once more before she sped out of the lot. 

When she finally got back to her apartment, she threw her bag by the shoe rack and made a beeline for the kitchen. She opened the freezer, rummaging through tv dinners and frozen vegetables to find a single carton with colorful sprinkles on the outside. Her arm reached into the back and grabbed the container before shutting the door and making her way to the drawer near the sink to grab a spoon. 

She made her way back to the living room, falling back onto her couch. She tucked her feet underneath her and settled into the cushion. Her arm stretched out toward the table in front of her to grab the remote and pressed her on button. Clicking into her Netflix account and hit resume playing on the last episode of New Girl she was on, finally letting her back rest against the soft surface behind her. 

She got through one episode before she heard a knock at the door. She grabbed her phone that sat by her side, flipping it over to see that there were no new messages waiting for her. Puzzled, she placed her spoon in the dish and set it on the table as she finally got herself off the couch to answer the door. 

Unlatching the deadbolt, she pulled the door toward her. Her gaze landed on a pizza box with a little silver smaller box on top of it before they shifted up to meet a pair of blue eyes. Owen let a soft smile land on his left cheek, shaking the box from side to side. 

“Hi,” He said as his eyebrows pulled to the middle of his face.

She leaned against the doorframe, letting her lips lift as well as she watched his movements. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to apologize for being a complete idiot.”

She pinched her lips together at the side of her face as she moved out of the front of the doorway, outstretching her arm to motion him inside. Owen stepped through the door, walking over to the kitchen to set down the box. As he made his way back to the living room, he stepped right in front of her, invading her personal bubble. 

“Hi again.” 

His hands moved toward her waist, and she let him pull her in toward him. His thumbs rubbed circles on the sides of her hips as he met her eyes. She tried her best to keep a stern look across her face as she looked up at him, causing his smile to deepen even more.

“You’re really mad at me, huh?” 

“You ditched me Owen, this was supposed to be our day...” She spat, her tense worry line becoming more prominent as she spoke, hands pressed against his chest. “It was so embarrassing to sit in there alone and have everyone just watch you. The waitress wouldn’t even let me pay for my drink. She gave me these eyes.” 

Y/N mocked the puppy dog eyes the red head had given her that afternoon and Owen giggled up at her. His hands traveled to the middle of her back as he pulled her even closer. 

“I’m really sorry honey. I didn’t look at the clock...I...I have no excuse good enough...but I’m sorry.” He said with a sigh, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“Yeah you should be,” She said, pouting up at him.

“You should be the priority, always,” He paused for a moment, gauging her reaction. When a soft smile finally landed on her cheeks, he continued. “That’s why I told the boys to go sight-seeing without me tomorrow.”

His fingers tapped against her skin as he waited for her response. Y/N frowned up at him, leaning her head to the side. 

“You don't have to to do that, I know you wanted to show the boys around the city, I can-” 

He leaned down and captured her lips quickly. Her eyes closed as hers moved in sync with his. As they pulled apart, hers fluttered back open to Owen smirking down at her. He smiled down at

“Those two idiots can find their own way around, but I want to be with you tomorrow. We were supposed to have a day together, and I’m going to make that happen.”

She bit down on her bottom lip, nodding up at him. She brought her arms up to wrap around his neck, pushing against the nape of his neck to bring him back down to her level. As they parted, she brought her hand down to intertwine with his, leading him toward the couch.

She sat down first, Owen following quickly to sit on the cushion next to her. The boy placed his arm around her shoulders, bringing her into his side. She let her head lean against his chest as she held the remote up to the tv and pressed play.

“I love you,” He murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss against her temple.

Her eyes lifted up to his and she finally let a wide smile grace her lips as she whispered “I love you too” back up to him.

[bts-reveries]

expect the unexpected | 8

D-1 until anniversary trip

“What happened?” Jin asks. He held his phone close to his ear as his father explained why they couldn’t make it to their house today. His parents were supposed to come home the day before you two leave for your trip. Unfortunately, Jin’s parents weren’t going to make it. 

“We just had some car troubles, it’s getting fixed by one of our friend’s son. We should be there tomorrow though. What time are you and Yn leaving again?” His dad asks. 

“Latest we can leave is noon,” Jin says. “Are you sure you’ll make it here before then? We have a plane to catch.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Well,” Jin’s dad says. “I’ll see you then. Bye.”  Jin laughs at his dad’s abrupt ending, hanging up the phone before he could even respond.

D-Day of anniversary trip!

“You have to be good when grandma and grandpa come, okay?” You tell Haneul. 

“When are they coming?” He asks, leaning onto the couch. 

“Later at about,” you check the time on your phone, it was about 8 in the morning.  “2 hours.” You look at your son who furrows his brows at you. You forgot he has no concept of time yet. “If we start watching Zootopia right now, when it finishes, grandma and grandpa will be here.” You explained. Haneul raises his eyebrows and his mouth went into an ‘o’ shape. “Yeah,” you giggled, knowing he understood it now. 

“We’re leaving before your siblings get out of class so you’ll be going with grandma and grandpa to pick them up okay?”

“Okay~” Haneul says, getting up from the couch and walking away.

“Where are you going?” You ask, getting up to follow him. 

“Let’s watch Zootopia in your room,” he says. “So grandma and grandpa can come.” You laugh at his reasoning as if that’s the only way they could come over. But you agree nonetheless. 

-

The movie was coming to the end. Nick Wilde graduates from the police academy and he and Judy Hopps become partners. You check your phone and no message from your in-laws. 

They should be here by now. 

And so should Jin.

“Baby,” you say to your youngest. “I’m going to call your dad okay, just stay here.” He doesn’t respond but instead stares at the animated animals on the screen.

You walk out of your room, closing the door behind you, and before you can call Jin, he calls you first.

“Hello?” You say. 

“Hi noona,” you hear back. It’s Yeonjun, obviously not Jin. “I know it’s you and Jin hyung’s anniversary trip and he got caught up with a few meetings but he’s on his way now! Umm.. he forgot his phone though, he was in a rush since he knew he was late so I just wanted to let you know that he’ll be home soon and that I also will be stopping by to drop off his phone.” 

“Okay, thank you,” you say, “did he say anything about his parents?”

“His parents? No. Just that they should be home now,” Yeonjun responds. You could hear him going in his car. 

“Okay, well drive safe okay? No need to rush, we’ll see you when you get here,” you say. Just when Yeonjun ended the call, you heard the front door open. 

“Mom?” You call out, thinking it was your in-laws. They do have their own keys as they babysit the kids every now and then.

You walk to the front door to see your husband looking at you with a confused expression.

“No?” He responds.

“Mom and Dad haven't come yet. Did they call you that they’ll be late?” Jin tilts his head to the side, feeling his pockets for his phone.

“O-”

“Yeonjun’s coming by to drop off your phone, he said you left it as you were rushing out,” you say, walking towards him to take his bag. “So they didn’t call?”

Jin shakes his head.

“No, I hope nothing bad happened though,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. He lets out a stressed sigh. 

“I’m sure noth--” Before you can finish your sentence, a high pitch scream comes from your room, startling the two of you.

“Is that Haneul?” Jin asks, running towards your shared room. 

He opens the door to find Haneul crying on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Jin asks him, walking over to pick him up from the bed. “Why are you crying?” 

Haneul doesn’t respond but instead keeps crying. He points at you when you walk in.

“What happened?” You ask, reaching out for him. Haneul turns and hugs his dad’s neck tighter, crying into his shoulder.

“Is it because I left him in here for a few minutes, I--,” you say, trying to figure out why he’s crying. “He was just watching the movie.” You turn to the TV and see that the movie finished. 

He probably felt like you left him when you closed the door on your way out and didn’t come back right away. 

You walk up to him and rub his back, telling him you were sorry. 

Your phone then dings. “Yeonjun’s here,” you say. “Give him to me.” You reach out for Haneul again but he clings on tighter to his dad instead.

“He doesn’t want you,” Jin laughs. It was like the first time Haneul chose him over you. “I’ll take him with me,” he says, walking out to the front door with Haneul. You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Hyung,” Yeonjun says when Jin opens the door. “Your phone.” He hands the phone to your husband and Jin unlocks it to check if he got any messages from his parents.

“Your dad called, so I answered since I thought he was at your house and I wanted to let him know that you’re on your way but he called saying they’re going to be late. Their friend’s son wasn’t able to fix the car in time and so they’ll be on their way in about half an hour and so maybe depending on traffic, they’ll be here in about two hours.”

“Oh,” you say, walking in right behind Jin. 

“I know you have to be in your plane soon, so I’ll take care of everything,” Yeonjun says, reaching out for Haneul. “Go get ready, I’ll watch Haneul and I’ll pick up the kids.” 

“Okay one,” Jin says, holding Haneul tighter. “This is the first time Haneul is loving me like this, I’ll hold on to him a little longer. Two, if I struggle with my three kids alone, I’m not so sure you’ll be able to handle all three of them alone. And Three, Soojin would enjoy that too much and I wouldn’t.”

“Thank you Yeonjun, but Jin’s right. Our kids are a handful for one person, we wouldn’t want to trouble you with that,” you say, putting a hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Go ahead and go home, we’ll take care of this, don't worry.”

-

“Jin,” you called. Haneul and you had made amends now and he was currently on the couch watching cartoons while Jin made food for the kids.

“Hm?”

“Everything’s packed and ready to go, we just need to pick up the kids, coming with?” You ask.

“Yeah, let me just finish this,” he says, putting the kimbaps in a bento box. “Haneul, go to mommy.” Haneul looks at his dad and turns back to the TV. 

“Haneul~” Jin calls again. He doesn’t budge.

“Haneul-ah.” One more time, Haneul yawns and that was the only reaction Daddy Jin got. 

“Haneul,” you call now. “Let’s go, we have to get your brother and sister. We don’t have all day.” 

“I want to stay here,” he responds, fumbling with the remote. You sigh.

“Well you can’t stay home by yourself-- unless daddy stays?” You say, turning to Jin. Jin shakes his head.

“No, we’re all going. Come on,” Jin says, walking to the two of you. “Here,” he says, handing you the lunch pail he packed. “Come on,” he reaches down and picks up Haneul who was starting to cry again.

What is it with him today?

-

“I thought grandma was picking us up,” Soojin asks as she got into the car.

“Yeah, with grandpa,” Minseok follows. “Aren’t you two supposed to be on the plane right now?”

“They were getting their car fixed, they’ll be here soon so hurry up,” you say, as the kids rush in, getting their seatbelts on. “Eat this, daddy made them.”

“Did you reschedule the tickets by the way?” Jin asks. You turn to him surprised. 

“No. I thought you said you’d do it?” 

“No, I was making the kids’ food.”

“Well I was packing our things and putting them in the car.”

Jin sighs, raising his hand up to his head. You shake your head.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it on my phone right now just focus on driving home safely,” you say.

“Can I come with you,” Haneul yells from the back.

“No, this is mommy and daddy’s trip,” you say. “This is the only time in the year where mommy and daddy get a few days of alone time.”

“But we want to come,” Soojin says, pouting along with her brother. 

“You can come another day,” Jin says. “Grandma and grandpa want to spend time with you three this weekend so you have to stay home.”

“But I want mommy and daddy,” Haneul whines, crying in the back seat. You can hear Minseok shushing him.

“It’s okay, they’ll be back,” he tells his younger brother. You felt reassured with your oldest as he’s the one who knows how to calm the youngest one. 

“Nooo,” Haneul cries. “I want to come with them.” He’s already choking on his sobs at this point. 

The rest of the drive home, everyone was silent.

Well.. you four were silenced by Haneul’s tantrum.

-

“Mom are you almost here?” Jin asks. He was on his phone with his mom and you two were getting impatient. Well.. more of stressing over the fact your plane was leaving soon and there would be traffic on the way there.

“Almost,” Jin’s mom says. “There was some traffic, but we’ll be there soon. Give us like five minutes.” 

“Okay, tell dad to drive safe.”

“Will do. See you soon sweetie.”

“Soojin!” You call. “Grandma and grandpa are almost here! Please come to the living room.”

“Okay so we’ll make it on time for our plane since we switched to another flight but we need to leave right when mom and dad get here,” you tell Jin. 

“Okay,” he nods. “Everything’s in the car right? You didn’t forget anything?” You nod your head.

“Vitamins, everything?” Jin says, sitting on the couch with his kids.

“Uhh,” you say, running to your room. 

You get to your room, and run to the medicine cabinet in your bathroom. 

“Uhh..vitamins,” you say to yourself, grabbing the vitamins. “What else? Oh yeah!-- Shoot, I ran out.” You shake your head. “We’ll just get more later.”

“Yn! Mom and Dad are here!” You hear Jin yell. You can hear the kids screaming with joy and their grandparents doing the same. 

“I’m coming!” You say, throwing everything into your carry on before running to the living room.

“Mom, dad,” you say, hugging the two of them. 

“We are so sorry we’re late,” Jin’s mom says as you hug him.

“No worries, I’m just glad you two got home safely,” you tell her. 

“We have a few minutes and we have to go,” Jin says. 

“Okay, umm, you two know everything already so is there anything else we should mention?” You laugh, turning to your inlaws, then your husband.

“Umm, Minseok usually needs help with homework. He has trouble with multiplication. For Soojin, nothing much but sass but she shouldn’t be giving any of that to you two,” Jin laughs. “And as for Haneul. Just prepare for tantrums, often. And he’s going to want to go to his Auntie Sohu’s bakery but he needs to get away from that for now.” You were impressed. Considering you spend more time with the kids, Jin knew more of what to say.

I guess with plans not going the way it was supposed to, you were getting a bit forgetful.

Let’s just hope you didn’t or don’t forget anything else.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

expect the unexpected

♡ part eight: forgetful ♡ 

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: sorry i fell off of the face of the tumblr earth for like .. a week? i had some important stuff going on but i finically finished an update! i guess this is where the rollercoaster starts ? buckle up!

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball  @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @shinyplaidbagellamp @catspancake  @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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[ayanna-wild]

Devil Don't Go

Word Count: 1679

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, violence, sad fluff, fluff, mentions of drowning, near death experiences

A/N: Request from Wattpad

Summary: This case should have been open and shut, it wasn’t supposed to go this way.

..................................................................................

Your world was spinning, well more accurately you were spinning, in a chair at the LAPD. To be even more accurate Lucifer was spinning you. The case you had agreed to help Chloe with had hit a snag, and every lead you thought you had was coming up a dead end. Which is why you were sitting in a chair, letting your devilish companion lazily twirl you around.

"I still say the manager of the victim's store seemed rather suspicious, are you sure we can't question him again?"

You hung your head back staring at the ceiling, thankful he wasn't spinning you fast enough to make you dizzy.

"He lawyered up, besides he had an alibi."

Lucifer huffed, clearly bored with how slow this case was moving.

"Oh yes, he was with his lover, was it? People lie darling."

You shrugged, placing your feet on the ground to stop yourself from spinning as you turned to look at him. Lucifer smiled when your eyes landed on him, and the corners of your mouth twitched up.

You and Lucifer had grown close since your transfer to the LAPD, and you found yourself helping Chloe on cases she could have solved easily herself. If she noticed she hadn't said a thing, you suspected it was Lucifer who convinced her to ask for your assistance.

This case however, they really did need help on.

"Why do you think they're lying?"

"He barely remembered their name, and his so called significant other, took far to long to recall him." Lucifer reasoned.

You frowned a little, unable to refute his logic, you leaned back in the chair.

"Well...you're right..."

"Of course I am, now put your feet back up, unfortunately this is the most interesting thing I've done today."

Before the two of you could continue your pointless entertainment, Chloe rushed over to her desk, grabbing her car keys. Both you and Lucifer perked up.

"What's got you in such a rush Detective?"

"Ella found us a lead, it might not pan out, but we should still check into it."

You jumped to your feet, grabbing your own keys from Lucifer's hand, who'd been carelessly tossing them back and forth with you earlier.

"I'll follow you."

"Allow me to accompany you." Lucifer beamed.

You raised an eyebrow as you headed for the exit.

"I don't let him press the buttons." Chloe explained.

After the fourth or fifth time of him turning on the siren to frighten unsuspecting civilians you forbade him touching anything as well. He muttered under his breath the rest of the drive.

~

You'd never understood the appeal decrepit buildings had in the criminal world of LA, but here you were.

"Couldn't they ever choose a nice little café, or someplace not run by rats?" You mumbled to yourself, stepping over what you hoped was an oil stain.

Leaky pipes and moldy smells filled the air as you careful walked along the walls, gun ready and senses on high alert. Your suspect, who had in fact turned out to be the manager, had opened fire as soon as the three of you walked through the door. It forced you away from Chloe and Lucifer, who you were now trying to find.

The platform you were walking on creaked behind you, and you whirled around, gun raised. Chloe froze, raising her hands, and you let out a sigh.

"Find anything?"

She shook her head, and you placed your gun back in its holster.

"Where's Lucifer?"

Her question chilled you to the core, and you stared at her in confusion. Your voice caught as you spoke.

"I thought he was with you..."

~

You refused to leave your desk, or even take any breaks as you searched through file after file. Called anyone even remotely related to your suspect. Lucifer had been with Chloe, he'd been vulnerable, he could be hurt, or worse.

You shook your head, that line of thinking wasn't going to do anything but make you panic.

A heavy, frustrated sigh left your lips, and you leaned forward, resting your head in your hands on the desk in front of you. Your eyes strained from hours of reading.

"I found something!"

You whipped your head around so fast it almost hurt your neck. Ella ran in, waving a paper around wildly. You and Chloe quickly crowded her and Ella explained everything.

"Okay, so I called around, you know places he frequents, old jobs things like that. There's an old swim center he used to run, a few workers there say he still comes by after hours to do laps."

"What does this have to do with finding Lucifer?" Chloe asked.

"Well I just off the phone with an employee who works there. Mr. Manager man is there now."

~

You couldn't drive fast enough, flying through red lights and recklessly taking turns. Chloe held onto the dash, shouting out warnings now and then, but she never told you to slow down. She was just as eager as you to find the king of hell.

"Y/N! We need a plan!"

You almost forgot to put the car into park before you got out. Chloe followed after you, calling for you to slow down, but you ignored her. The doors to the pool slammed open when you kicked them, smacking the wall just in time to see the murderous manager shove Lucifer, who was unconscious and tied to a chair, into the pool.

You screamed his name, dropping your gun as you dived into the pool without a second thought. You spotted Chloe running after the suspect just seconds before you hit the water.

The pool was so deep, and the chlorine burned your eyes as you swam towards Lucifer. You didn't know how you were holding your breath this long, but you weren’t really focusing on that. You struggled to untie the ropes around him, but your lungs were beginning to burn.

He's been down there for too long already, you were down there too long, your head growing light.

With no other choice but to surface, you took a large breath before diving under the water again. It wasn't enough time to really catch your breath and your chest tightened, but you finally loosened the ropes. You thanked the adrenaline rushing through your veins that you were able to pull him to the surface and out of the pool.

Violent coughs shook your body as you struggled to breathe again. You were light-headed, but you needed to focus, you had to check on him. Turning your attention to Lucifer you rolled him onto his back checking the injury to his bloody temple, it was sallow nothing to serious, and then you checked his pulse.

Only... there was no pulse.

"No no no...."

You got to your knees, placing your hands in the center of his chest as you began to push fast. You went back and forth between pressing on his chest to blowing breath into his lungs. You weren’t sure how long you kept this up, but you really didn't care to keep track of time right now.

"Come on...Lucifer, please..."

Tears clouded your vision and your arms gave out, you collapsed against his chest, checking his pulse once more, but there was nothing.

"Damn it wake up!" You slammed your fists down on his chest. Your tears ran down your face mixing with the pool water still clinging to your skin, but he didn’t move.

"You promised we'd go out for lunch tomorrow, and you always keep your promises, right?"

You brushed his wet hair from his face as your hands shook.

"So you have to wake up." Your voice broke, and you pressed your forehead against his, crying freely.

"Please don't go."

You almost slammed your head against his when his body suddenly jerked, and he sat up. You jumped back staring at him with wide eyes as he coughed out water from his lungs. He wheezed a moment clutching his chest, before looking around until his eyes landed on you. He gave you a tired smile and a weak chuckle.

"Well that was a wonderfully terrible visit to Hell."

With that joke your worry evaporated, and you fell back against the wall behind you. You ran a hair through your damp hair, and you laughed through your tears.

"You're alive..."

Lucifer looked at you curiously, and he moved closer to you.

"Darling are you alright? Why are you crying?"

He let out a surprised grunt when you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You were dead you idiot, of course I'm crying."

"But I'm not dead now..."

You huffed, shaking your head as you tightened your hold around him.

"You're missing the point." You spoke lightly.

Lucifer carefully held you, frowning a little when he felt your body trembling.

"You're shaking." He pointed out softly.

"Just cold from the water." You lied.

You smiled, nestling closer to him, you needed to feel his heartbeat his breath on your skin. You pulled back to hold his face in your hands, eyeing the cut on his temple.

"You're bleeding a little still..." You muttered.

He grabbed your hand as your fingers ghosted over the wound. He smiled squeezing your hand a little.

"I imagine my situation would be much worse if not for you."

He smiled, and you slowly realized you were sitting in his lap. You cleared your throat, shifting to move off him, and he sent you a wink.

"Anyway, I'm really happy you're okay."

Lucifer's expression softened, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"Well I couldn't very well stay dead now could I? A promise is a promise."

You looked at him surprised.

"You heard that?"

He chuckled, moving a wet strand of hair away from your eyes.

"It was hard not to, you were practically praying to me."

You rolled your eyes, but you still couldn't help the smile that stretched across your face.

"Just promise you won't go dying on me again."

"I'll try my very best darling." He chuckled.

..................................................................................

Tag List: @sallyp-53 @mizzezm @adira-secrets @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @gingernarwal @im-just-along-for-the-ride @lifeshortbro @measure-in-pain @emiwrites3reads @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @kelly-n-russell @aiofheavenandhell @beththedemonhunter

[bonny-kookoo]

Brave Girl (J.JK x Reader) ☁️💜🎀🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (ft. Med student!Namjoon)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Good Girl!AU

Warnings: Heavy angst, traffic accident, injury, hospital, Jungkook is panicking, MC gets hurt, Koo is just lost and hates hospitals :(, Namjoon being the hero he was born to be, fluffy and dramatic smut, overstimulation, mild DDLG themes, protected sex because we wrap it up in this household smh

Summary: you were supposed to be home at 6 to help Jungkook devour the feast that is the freshly baked pizza he’d made to welcome you back from your trip to your parents, yet when the clock strikes 9 you’re still not home. Just when Jungkook is about to call you since you didn’t react to his texts, he receives a call from you; and he swore his heart stopped beating. Loosing you had never been a thought in his head until now, but he might just gotten closer to this reality than he ever imagined being. And he hated it.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl

"Alright, do we have everything now?" Jungkook asked, helping you place your pastel pink travel bag into his car, careful not to scratch all of the sparkling and colorful stickers on it. They looked a bit worn already, but you always felt a bit upset if there was another scratch to a prized posession such as your sticker-collection- yet when Jungkook told you not to put any more on your bag, you began to pout as well. You asked with a simple nod, already excited to meet your parents again after a long time apart. Jungkook offered to drive you to the bus station, not being able to bring you there entirely because he, quote unquote, 'didn't feel ready yet'. Many would've felt offended by that, but you knew not to read too much into it when it came to him- there were a lot of things for him that were still new, and his love was strong enough for you not to question it. You were both growing comfortable at your own pace, and that was enough for now.

Your parents had understood as well, even though your father had been a little more skeptic than the rest of your family; but he'd always been a little overprotective, so it didn't surprise you at all. While you were driving home, knees against the seat in front of you, you rummaged through your small backpack, taking out a small pack of gummi bears Jungkook had packed inside. He'd been so careful with everything, insisting on buying you this specific backpack because 'it's so soft, you can use it as a pillow inside the bus so you sleep better'. Maybe you were slowly making him soft as well? You were glad however that he had packed your headache medication in as well, long rides sadly having this effect on you sometimes.

Ever since you were a kid, you've always felt safe within public transport. You've been taking the bus and train to school for years, never truly thinking about the danger it could hold. Even now, with the pouring rain outside, you felt calm. Something that would change soon.

For now however, you just noticed how the jacket of the young man next to you slowly slipped off of his lap. He was asleep, you at least thought so, but you couldn't help but reach for the jacket before it could truly fall down onto the slightly muddy floor, your own shoes slightly at fault since it was quite muddy outside before you came in and sat down. "Ah, thanks-" He suddenly said, making your eyes widen at noticing how he only head headphones in. Maybe he hadn't been asleep after all?

"No problem" You said, putting your feet underneath your butt after having taken off your shoes. Your boyfriends' advice had proven to be quite nice after all, putting on comfortable loungewear such as your soft sweatpants and a large white shirt of Jungkooks collection (he had packed it in actually) were slowly proving to be way better than your typical attire. The guy next to you- Namjoon you'd found out on your first ride, having been seated next to him as well- looked quite casual as well. Instead of his more formal clothing he'd worn the first time you had talked to him he had switched to simply jeans and a loose sweater, something that made him seem a lot younger. "Listening to a podcast again?" You casually asked him, and he smiled, taking out one of his headphones.

"No, just music this time. That whole trip kind of drained me if I'm being honest." He explained, crossing his legs before conversing further. "What about you? Had fun with your family?" He said, genuinely interested it seemed. It was rare to find someone as honest as him. At first, you had been a bit careful, knowing that men usually had intentions that differed from what they were actually saying, but Namjoon had been just as friendly as before when you had told him about Jungkook. He just said that he seemed like a nice guy, nothing more to it, and still talked to you just the same.

You nodded your head at his question. "I was kind of sad when I had to leave again, but I also can't wait to come back home!" Excitedly you wiggled around a little, before you found a good position in your seat that didn't make your legs sleep in from being bend so much Namjoon smiled at you.

"I bet. I can't wait to fall into my own bed again as well." He said, before the bus swayed a bit, making you hold onto your belongings to keep them from falling down. Namjoon leaned into the middle a bit, to look at the front window and the driver. "Jesus, he's been driving like this for a few minutes now." He mumbled, making you a bit nervous. He was a very observant person from what you'd gathered until now, your first interaction had been him asking you about your headache even though you were sure it hadn't been too noticable. He was a med student however, top of his class he'd told you, so he probably had a third eye for things like that. "Hopefully they'll change drivers soon. He seems tired." He said, and gave you a reassuring smile. "It's gonna be fine-" He said, before the bus swayed again, this time however, pushing you against the front seat from the force. Seconds later the direction changed drastically, windows shattered, and the only thing you felt when you were able to gather your thoughts again was how cold it was.

The wet ground was slowly seeping into your clothes, the weird feeling of muddy grass underneath your hands as you pulled yourself into a sitting position foreign. One of the first things you were noticing was the incredibly high pitched ringing in your ears, sounds muffled as if someone was holding their hands over them. Things were blurry, lights passing by, and something was moving in front of you. For some reason however, you were only having one thought. Jungkook. He'd know what to do. But where was your phone?

You slowly got up, yelping in pain when your knee gave out and made you fall back down again, scratching the palms of your hands open on some random branches and.. glass? Suddenly you remembered the bus, Namjoon talking to you, and then- it was as if someone skipped a video you haven't seen before, an entire fragment missing completely. You crawled out of the bushes and onto the pavement when you spotted your wet and dirty backpack, your things and several unknown items of other passengers scattered everywhere on the street. And there, just a small distance from you was you phone- the hello kitty charm ripped off and probably lost forever. The screen was an absolute mess, yet it was still working when you reached it, unlocking it with your passcode because your fingerprint scanner was a definite goner for sure. Your headache was killing you at this point, your nose running from the cold, and your mouth had a metallic and bitter taste. It started to ring. One time. Two times. A voice.

"Creepy, I was just about to text you princess. Are you close to the station yet?" He asked, you could hear the TV faintly in the background, then a little movement, his earring clattering against his plastic case he had around his phone, something that still didn't help him with his curse of breaking his screen in record time. "Hey, you there?" He said chuckling, when you eventually answered him. "Hm?" He said, suddenly furrowing his brows invisibly for you on the other side of town, ceasing his movements and instead getting up to grab the remote, silencing the TV. He could hear faint talking on your side, yet it didn't seem like casual chatter, but frantic.. almost as if someone was panicking in the background.

"I said uhm-" You started, swallowing the weird taste before looking around, noticing no movement, but someone began to shout a name, another one softly wheeping, noises increasing with every passing minute. You could faintly spot headlights behind the bus, someone driving past had noticed, and people suddenly stood at the sides. But your vision hadn't cleared yet, so maybe you just couldn't see. "I think- I think we had an accident 'Koo, I-" You said, suddenly chocking a little on the fluid in your throat, coughing to get things under control and your voice back. The mention of an accident, the way you spoke, and the cliche noise of you coughing made him get up immediately, frantically running to his jacket, reaching for his car keys. You always told him how funny it was to you how he always told everyone how organized he was, yet always loosing his car keys. Right now he wished you would make fun of him, he wished you would just say sike and reveal your joke, yet deep down he knew you would never joke about something like this.

“It’s okay baby, you’re gonna be okay, where are you?” He stresses, trying yet failing to keep his own demeanor calm over the phone. You answer him that you don’t know, and he just feels the confusion radiating off of you. Something was terribly wrong, he could feel it deep inside his veins by the way you seemed to be unable to catch an actual thought. “Are you hurt anywhere?” He asks, even though he fears the answer you might give him.

“I..don’t know? My head hurts.. I- Jungkook I think I’m bleeding, what do I do?” You stress, and feel your own panic rising in your throat, making your eyes water and nose burn. You wished you could just tell Jungkook where the hell you were but you didn’t know, streets completely strange to your eyes, shifting around like a fever dream, as if you’d never seen them before. “Kookie, ‘m scared.. I wanna sleep-“ you began to mumble, less and less conscious, your head beginning to rest on the cold ground, the bus now beginning to shift out of focus. There we’re a few people walking around and you wanted to wave, to tell them you’re here, but one of them who you recognized faintly as the guy who’d been sitting next to you during the ride noticed you anyways.

Jungkook started to panic on the other end of the line, desperately trying to pin your phones location. “No no no baby, you’re so brave, you’re such a brave girl, don’t sleep in on me right now okay?” He pleaded, growing more and more anxious the less you answered him. “Baby? Don’t stop talking to me now please.!” He said, trying to get an answer out of you. But the only thing he could hear was the soft white noise, no trace of your voice whatsoever. “Baby? Please-“ he said, eyes watering out of frustration as he noticed the sudden commotion outside, cars suddenly driving out of his nearest police station, sirens loud and clear. “Please, y/n, talk, say anything!” He begged, voice choked with unshed tears, throat closing up.

“Hello?” A stranger answered.

“Who are you? What happened to y/n? Is she okay? I-“ he tried to rush his questions as if that’d get him the answers faster.

“She’s- uh- I don’t know, the bus just suddenly lost control and she- I think she’s still breathing but uhm- look, we’re at, uh-“ Jungkook wasn’t listening after he’d gotten the information he so desperately craved. He knew where you were. He’d get to you. He needed to get to you. And for the first time ever, Jungkook actually started to pray.

He finally found his car keys, ripping the door open to close it with a loud bang behind him, TV running but long forgotten. His stubborn car door didn't open instantly, making him almost growl in anger at it, eyes watering again when he remembered how you always told him to just get it fixed instead of buying a new one. You always had this idea of things having a soul anyways, so you always told him he needed to be nice to his car, or it would be upset. Right now he was not fit to drive. He did it anyways.

He groaned at every red light, hating how he couldn't just run them over because your absolutely stupid voice kept ringing in his ear to drive safely, he hated it right now, so so much, he could've screamed at nothing right now at how enraged he was. Why didn't he just fucking jump over his own shadow and drive you to your parents? None of this would be a thing if he would just finally man up instead of cowering all the time, simply believing that his time with you was endless. He knew it wasn't. He knew one day you two would pass. But that was supposed to be when you both were old and wrinkly, when you both had kids and grandkids, when both of you had enough stupid and disgustingly sweet stories to be able to make them gag at how he would still call you his most beautiful girl. This wasn't happening. He was going to make sure of it.

He reached the destination a little too far away, cars already stopping traffic, people on the side, watching, and he felt agitated again. He decided to simply turn his steering wheel, half-hazardly parking his car almost in the bushes next to the road, before opening the door with his key and phone in hand, closing his car door way too harsh as he could hear something crack, but his legs were already making him run at the fastest pace he had ever before. His hair and clothes, the black zip hoodie he had thrown over his grey shirt were growing damp from the mild rain coming down, yet he didn't care. He had his hood up, before it slipped down, his hands pushing past people, the need to insult them for staring and taking pictures instead of actually helping strong inside his veins, yet he simply portrayed his distaste at his not so gentle shoving to get past them.

Somehow he had apparently arrived before police or the ambulance had, because there was no one there yet. "Y/N!" He yelled, his voice frantic and almost unrecognizable, even to his own ears. He could spot people laying around, some helping others, and some simply waiting for help as he searched for your figure among them. He saw some of your stuff, the travel bag you had, now wet and scratched, your backpack, thrown on the street and some small items he could recognize as yours such as the formerly white bunny jacket he had bought you before you went on this trip. "Y/N!" He yelled again, and got someones attention a bit off the side near the woodside next to the road. "Oh no-" He whispered under his breath when he could see the guy leaning a bit over you, your head on the ground below, soft socks a darker shade than usual from the moisture they had picked up by now. You were laying on your side, the young man pushing a flannel shirt against your hip. He ran straight towards you, reaching out to grab you, just to have the stranger grab his hands instead, pushing at his chest. "What the fuck-?!" He exclaimed, ready to burst.

"We don't know how serious her injuries are at the moment. If you move her you could make the damage worse." He said, serious. "It's better to leave her like this, and wait for the ambulance." He said, unable to make the younger ones angry and frustrated face calm down, but he listened anyways, knowing deep down that he was right. "Kim Namjoon by the way, Medical student- trust me, I know what I'm doing okay?" He refrained from telling the younger one that you would be okay, having sworn to himself when he started as a med student to never give out false hope. Jungkook nodded, tears finally falling as he swallowed hard, simply running his hand over your hair, trying to give you reassurance- or maybe he tried to reassure himself that you were still there. Maybe even both.

When the ambulance arrived, you slowly gained a little more consciousness again, hand grabbing at nothing. "..'Koo?" You said, unsure if he was really there or if the smell of his bodywash on the shirt you were making was playing tricks on you. He gasped, leaning down, his other hand running over your bare arm softly as to warm you up.

"I'm here, I'm here baby, you're okay." He said, this time saying these words to reassure himself purely. Namjoon noticed you shivering after Jungkook did, and he instantly took off his jacket, even though it was thin, simply to cover you up. Namjoon yelled for the ambulance to notice them, and both of the guys breathed a sigh of relief when they were running over towards you three.

However, now Jungkook had to face another fear, apart from still possibly loosing you. He hated hospitals. Not in the quirky kind of 'ugh I hate the smell of disinfectant' kind of way, the kind of 'I rather cast my broken wrist with duct tape and wooden icecream sticks just to not have to go near this place' kind of way. When he was asked if he would like to ride with you his terrified eyes looked at Namjoon, the answer he gave an unsure, yet clear nod. He had to be strong right now. You needed him right now, more than ever.

Inside the ambulance, he didn't let go of your hand. You had a hard time answering questions, so Jungkook had to step in now. He kept his eyes on your face, trying to blend out the equipment around you two to not get riled up. Someone had to be there a hundred percent. The nurse noticed pretty quickly, laying a hand on his shoulder to hopefully calm him down. "She's stable right now, okay? We'll wheel her in as soon as we reach the hospital, someone will ask you for her information since we couldn't find her ID or anything on the scene, alright?" He asked, and he nodded, clearing his throat before he resumed watching you breathe. He would've never guessed how happy he would feel just to see such a small thing from you.

A hot cup nudged his hands that were over his head, and he slowly looked up, surprised to see Taehyung of all people in front of him, his newly red hair in complete dissarray as well as his clothes. He looked like Jungkook felt if he was being honest. "Tae?" He asked, voice rough while taking the cup from his friend. His friend simply shrugged, before He sat down next to him, eyes red. "What-" He started, but Taehyung leaned back, speaking quitely, oddly calm, considering his usually loud personality.

"I-" He started, before he seemed to think a bit about how to phrase his next words. "Someone I know was on the same bus." He said. "I heard you talk to the nurse at the counter." He explained when Jungkooks brows furrowed in confusion. "They've managed to stabalize her, but she'll need surgery tonight." He said, and Jungkook wanted to ask who the person was- yet he refrained from doing so. Him and Taehyung were close, sure, but exactly that was what made him stay quiet about it. He knew when it was okay to ask, and when to just shut up. And right now, he simply nodded at him.

"So we're both gonna have a sleepover here?" He asked grimly, pathetically trying to lift the mood. Taehyung just nodded.

When you woke up, it wasn't like it was usually displayed in movies or cheesy novels. It wasn't a slow, gentle breeze from your window, or the way your boyfriend spoke next to you. No, it was actually absolutely silent, except the constant beeping next to you. You actually woke up way faster than you hoped for, your eyes opening like you've just got ripped out of a dream where you fall downstairs or something alike. You heard Jungkook groan sleepily, before he eventually moved his head a little, turning so you could see how exhausted he looked. His eyelashes looked damp, tiny hairs bound together into little groups as he sniffled, head on your hand, open palm holding his cheek as if he needed to feel you even in his dreams. The sight calmed you down.

The change of heartbeat and pulse made the machine next to you switch sounds, and soon you heard the door open, a friendly nurse walking in, smile on her face as her gaze found Jungkook still in the same position as hours before, unbeknownst to you. "How are you feeling, miss?" She softly said, quiet as to not wake the young man who had been switching between crying, watching, or sleeping next to you for the past days. You swallowed, mouth dry, and nodded towards the empty coffee cups next to you on the small bedside table. "I'll get you some water okay? Welcome back miss. I'll just check your vitals for a second." She said, and you nodded at that. Checking the machines and you, she walked out, leaving the door open so you could hear a bit of what was going on in the hallways. Footsteps and sometimes the tune of someones phone going off, random words you were too tired still to understand, and an elevator. Jungkook stirred next to you, opening his eyes after taking a deep breath, yawning before his eyes found yours.

It took him amusingly a couple of seconds before he shot up, immediately coughing from having inhaled his own saliva. You laughed at that, flinching a bit when it made your body ache, before taking him in. He looked horrible, hair a mess, eyes red and skin a bit pale, yet he smiled brighter than he did back when you bought him the new destiny 2 game for his playstation as a surprise. His eyes glistened, suddenly getting a sparkle to them before his lip started to quiver. He dropped his head on your shoulder, silently crying, but this time, he cried from relief. From happiness. From just how much he loved the world right now for giving him more time with you, for giving him a chance to be the embarrassing father and naggy grandpa he always wanted to be someday. Your arm bend and your hand ran through his hair, not minding the long unkempt locks one bit.

The nurse came back in, smiling brightly with a tall doctor in tow, who had a friendly face as well. "Good to have you back miss. How are we feeling?" He said, trying not to grin at Jungkook, who had yelled at the man several times when he'd tried to tell him to go home and rest. You were oblivious to this obviously. Jungkook raised his head a little, using his flannel sleeve to dry his tears, clearing his throat to at least try to look like he got his shit together.

"Uhm, I feel like I had to take my fitnessgram pacer test again, plus a bit more muscle pain in my hip?" You said, making the man chuckle.

"That's completely understandable considering you flew quite a distance miss. We were quite surprised that you were fine breathing on your own, considering everything. You're quite lucky; but we're gonna keep you under surveillance until friday. Your bodyguard can take you home after 12 whenever he likes." He said with a smirk in Jungkook's direction, the one spoken of growing a bit red on the tips of his ears. The doctor leaves after asking you general questions such as, if you knew the current year, your address, and your personal information such as your birthday.

The nurse left the cup of water and a straw on the small table. "I'll let you both catch up. Please make sure she drinks the whole cup, but only a couple of sips at a time alright?" She said to your boyfriend, who nodded, having calmed down a little by now. He moved, his hand a bit shaky as he ripped the top of the papercover of the straw off, before taking the plastic drinking help out of its minimalistic packaging. He put it inside the cup after bending it a bit, before he moved to you, helping you with outmost care to sit up a little. You winced a bit when you tried to move too fast, and Jungkooks face got a little more serious at this. You began to pout at him.

"What?" He said, voice still a bit rough from the lack of using- and the simultaneous shouting everytime he'd opened his mouth these days. He sighed. "Come on, you heard the nurse- you gotta drink." He said, but you stubbornly moved your head to the side, sideeying him. His brow raised in a questioning matter, before he noticed your posture. You had your arms in front of you in a hugging manner, and he suddenly realized how his behaviour must've looked for you. "I'm sorry princess I just.." He said, putting the cup down and running a hand through his hair. "I just.. I was so terrified when I saw you there-" He said, having to swallow hard again so he didn't end up crying again. God, what was it with him again? "Why didn't you call an ambulance? Why did you call me instead?" He asked, a bit of whine to it. You shrugged, deflating a bit in your position leaned up against the pillows.

"You were.. dunno, the first one I thought of." You explained. In Hindsight it had been a bit dumb, why did you call him as if he could magically appear in that second to make everything better, but somehow your brain made that story into a real possibility. "You always make everything better, and you know.. you always know what to do so.." You said, and Jungkook breathed out in a sight.

He leaned closer to you, tattooed hand brushing away some of your hair to place a kiss to your forehead. "Oh baby.." He simply said, resting his against your head for a second, before his thumb brushed over your cheek. "I'm driving you anywhere you need to be from now on." He said, and you nodded with a smile. "Alright. Now come on, drink something." he spoke before picking up the cup, helping you with the straw, taking it away from you after a couple of sips, making you whine. "I know doll, but we don't wanna overdo it alright?" He said. You looked at him with a smile, and he happily returned it.

"Jungkook I can do that-" You said, before he silenced you with a look.

"I'm sorry, as cute as you look walking around like a newborn babydeer, I really like to keep you from falling down again, thank you very much." He said, accusingly pointing to the small bandage on your knee from having stumbled on your way into the kitchen yesterday. Your visible wounds were healing well, but you still had a bit of nerve damage from your nasty fall, which made your legs feel like they're constantly in a state between sleeping in and waking up, minus the pins and needles. They moved, yeah, you could feel them, yes, but it felt like they were wrapped in plastic and someone messed with the controls. Jungkook found it a bit adorable, but he rather not have you give him a shock again from almost hitting the kitchen tiles. Slowly, he came back with a glass of water, making you smile and thank him. He'd currently taken time off from work, having explained to his boss that he had to nurse you for a bit until you could be home by yourself. His boss had been pretty understanding, agreeing to him taking his vacation earlier and with short notice.

One thing you noticed however, was how careful Jungkook was around you. Now, that itself wasn't a bad thing, since right now you're a bit more fragile then usually so, but he was careful in a different way. Ever since you both left the hospital on friday, he stopped giving you goodnight kisses. He rarely hugged you, only ever if you initiated it, and he refused to be close to you during the night, making up excuses like 'I'm scared I'll roll you over during the night babygirl.' That was utter bullshit, because he'd never been worried about that in the past. He's a heavy sleeper and barely moves when he sleeps, so why would it be an issue now?

That was when the goddamn thoughts came back to you. Maybe he realized how close he'd gotten to you and didn't want that anymore? Maybe he wanted to go back to his old way of living, without any strings attached to anyone?

That night, you decided to speak up. Jungkook and you were sitting on the bed, you criss crossed, and him with his back towards you, feet on the carpeted floor. "You can, uhm.. you know, drive me back to the hospital tomorrow so I can get checked back in." You quietly said. He instantly turned around, his phone no longer worth his attention as his brows furrowed.

"Why? Are you okay? Did the stitches open up again?" He said, a bit of panic making his words hurry on their way out of his mouth. You shook your head.

"No, but I don't wanna, you know. You don't like me saying I'm a burden so I won't say it, but yeah. I get it, you know? Its okay, really-" You said, head lowering until you stared your lap. You heard and felt him move, his hand softly on your back.

"What're you saying princess? Why the fuck would you think I don't want you anymore?" He knew your innuendos by now, and he didn't like that you implied a breakup in your sentence one bit. "Baby I'm gonna take care of you now and everyday you need me to, you know that." He said, confused.

You looked at his throat, unable to shift your gaze any higher up, in fear of what his eyes would tell you. "But, you know.. if we're good, why.. why 'm I not getting any kisses anymore? No hugs? No nothing? " You said, starting to pick at your fingers. Maybe you were just making it worse for him. Maybe he'd just tried to figure out how to tell you in a good way, and you just made it so much harder for him to do so. However, the hand on your back left, just so he could take your body into his arms. "I'ts okay, you know-" You started again, and he hushed you.

"None of that, please don't talk like that, please don't." He said, almost breathless as if he was scared to say the words out loud. "Getting told I could loose you for good was terrifying enough already, thank you very much." He said, a dry laugh escaping him, humor nowhere to be seen in it. Typically he would relish in the feeling of his broader and stronger frame compared to you, he would smile at the mere size difference of your hands or the way he could easily pick you up and carry you anywhere he wanted to. But right now it only reminded him how fragile you were, how careful he had to be not to hurt you. He felt helpless, and it was a feeling he decided he'd hate until he died. "I just- I'm scared I'll hurt you." He said, quietly, hoping that maybe you won't hear. But you did.

Holding his face in your hands you were reminded again just how inexperienced he was in this entire thing as well. You always thought he could lead the way without problems, that he knew everything and could teach you what you wanted to know. Yet maybe you both could learn from one another, more so than just you from him. "You won't." You said, and you stubbornly kissed him as he tried to protest, pecking his lips with a newfound courage you didn't knew you had until then. He tried again, just to get another kiss. This went on for a bit, until he deepened the gesture a bit, hand finding its way into your hair, before he pulled away.

"Don't rile me up baby." He groaned, running a hand through his hair. He hated how much you could get under his skin right now, covering his lower half under the blanket you both shared almost shamefully. You kissed him again, making him laugh, finally this time for real. "Stop, I'm serious. You're still healing, or did you forget?" He said, and you whined.

"But you can be gentle! My stitches are coming out on Monday anyways, I'll be fine!" You said, and he had to chuckle at you, his mind being torn from side to side. He didn't know if he could, but the way you trusted him made him wan't to at least try. With a little hesitance he dived in again, making you smile against his lips.

He made you lie down again, slowly, crawling over your form, unhurried, as if you both got all the time of the world. And you had, he knew you had. When you whined, he simply grinned at you. "No no Baby, let's just be close, okay?" He said, voice low and soft, making you melt underneath him. For the first time ever, as cheesy as it sounden, it wasn't about reaching your highs anymore for him. He was a believer that good sex had to finish with as much pleasure as possible for him, yet that had entirely began to shift when he'd met you. Suddenly things weren't about him anymore, suddenly he started to become less and less self-centered; but this time nothing mattered at all. It wasn't about reaching your goal and claiming your prize in form of an orgasm, it wasn't about pure pleasure and satisfaction. No, this time it was about feeling as close to you as he could, he needed to feel every inch of you simply to reassure himself that you were still here, real, and with him.

He reached for the first drawer of the bedside table, your kisses on his chest and biceps making his heart race. Slipping the condom on with your help, not because he needed it but because you wanted to, he made himself at home inside you, mind slowing down with every move he made, his thoughts and body being reminded that you were okay, you were fine, you were still here with him, you didn't leave. Maybe he should be scared of how dependend he'd become on you, how you had sneaked your way past all his walls and made yourself at home inside his soul. Maybe he should be afraid or worried how he couldn't escape you anymore, how he couldn't take a fast exit out of the situation you both had made. But right now, none of that mattered.

Your mind was fuzzy, no thought able to be caught properly, and you let yourself slip even further, giving your entire being into his posession. This was just about being close, and you felt protected and safe with him, his pace slow and unhurried, gentle, and his hands reaching for yours, intertwining your fingers in a soft gesture. It showed just how much he was actually hurting, how much the entire situation had affected him; this was so unlike him that it made you feel proud of yourself to be able to witness it at all. He was laying himself bare in every way for you, and you didn't dare threw salt on his exposed flesh.

He didn't notice if he or you had come at all, continuing to move, yet never picking up his pace. When he watched your blissful face underneath him, his eyes stung again, tears knocking at the back of them, and he gently placed his head on your shoulder, kissing every part of your skin he could reach there, gasping and breathing hard. Never in his wildest dreams he would've thought that this would be the situation he would found pleasure in, yet it happened in that moment, and god, he felt like he couldn't stop. He felt like he could torture himself like this forever if it meant he could show you how utterly terrified he had been of loosing you, how terrified he still was deep down, and how terrified he would always be. He needed you like oxygen at this point, and it scared him shitless, yet even that was something he accepted with open arms and a smile in exchange for your affection. He was whipped for you, deep down bound to you by iron shackles, but he would never ask for a change whatsoever.

The night ended with both of you exhausted yet happy, tangled together under wrinkled sheets and a blanket thrown over your forms.

"I absolutely love you." You said, eyes wide and sparkling at the amount of junkfood your boyfriend carried inside the living room, coat still a bit wet from the rain outside. He brought a wave of cool and fresh air with him, making you shiver for a bit before your hand dived into the first paper bag, the crinkling sound ever so present. He laughed, throwing his coat over the side of the couch before he sat down next to you.

"You only love me for food, how tragic." He said, playfully sighing at it, watching you pout at him. "sorry baby, 'm joking." ruffling your hair he snatched a fry from the small bag you had in your hands, making you whine, but laugh at the same time.

Straightening your back you tried to look taller than him, making him chuckle. "I see this as a reward for not crying today!" You said proudly, and he smiled, nodding. You had gotten your final stitches removed, and even though it was still terrifying for both of you, Jungkook had finally faced his fear and came with you to your appointment, although he had still been heavily uncomfortable, rushing you both out as fast as possible. He was proud however, because even though you had every reason to, you didn't cry- simply squeezing his hand a bit, but nothing too much.

"I know, I know." He said, rummaging through the second large brown bag to fish himself a burger. "That's because you're the bravest girl ever-" He said, yelping when you snatched the food from him. "And also the most daring it seems, you gotta share baby!" He said playfully accusing, reaching for it just for you to hold it further away. "Good girls share, come on, I deserve a reward too you brat!" His hands reached for the item of his desire, making him raise his brows at you. Kissing your slightly greasy and salty lips, he laughed when you made a whiny sound at him. "Come on, this shit was expensive, let's eat."

"I've never seen you cry so much."

"Shut up."

"It was cute though-"

"Oh I'm about to be really fucking cute, get over here young lady!"

Taglist: @sweetenedcooky @ggukkieland @btsismybias22 @darkgvk @daddypkj @flowerprincess24 @crazylittlemay @zeharilisharaban

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

Stay

Bucky x Gender Neutral Reader

You move in as Bucky's next-door neighbor at the beginning of TFATWS.

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs Appreciated!

❀ Word Count: 3,541

❀ Contains: A nonbinary best friend, fluff, a one-off mention of decomposition, wholesomeness, being a good neighbor

❀ Inspiration: Stay from Amelie

The drive to Brooklyn was fairly nerve-wracking, despite the unusual lack of traffic until you got much closer to the city, somewhere outside of New Jersey. You’d been to New York on multiple occasions; some were school trips to one of the many museums, others were to participate in protests. Sometimes, you just visited for a day to enjoy the city- and the food from one of the many food trucks. Today was different- today, you were making Brooklyn Borough your home.

Finding a place in Brooklyn that was close enough for you to walk to work while also not costing your entire salary was a challenge, but you eventually found a townhouse to rent for under $2,000 a month. The moving truck arrived outside your townhouse a couple of minutes before you did. It was being driven by one of your closest friends, who had offered to take the day off of work to help you move into this place. You drove their car down behind them but had stopped a while back to get yourself a bite to eat. When you arrive, they’ve already begun to unload the truck onto the sidewalk.

“Hey, y/n! Can I get a little help here?” They ask, attempting to push your sofa out of the truck.

“Just a moment!” You shout. You lock their car and jog over to them, picking up the side of the sofa facing the street. You lift it up and manage to get it up onto the curb before needing to put it down again.

“How are we gonna get it up the steps?” They ask you, out of breath.

“I have no idea. But I should probably unlock my front door first, that might be helpful.”

You dig your keys out of your front right jean pocket and walk up the stairs to your townhouse to unlock it. You push open the door and turn on the light in the first room. It’s a little dusty inside- the previously lived-in kind of dusty, not the long-forgotten abandoned kind.

You turn back towards your friend and ask, “Do we have any rope? Maybe we could make a pulley system to pull it up the steps.”

“I don’t think so.” They reply, “Maybe if one of us pushes and the other pulls?”

You walk back down to the curb to see that your friend has now sat down on the couch you were supposed to be moving together instead of trying to figure out another way to move it inside. You sit down next to them.

“I should’ve brought my sister with me.” They lament.

“Yeah, and I should’ve asked more than one person to help me move in. But here we are. With a couch on the sidewalk.” You respond. You spend a few minutes resting together before getting back up again and announcing, “Forget about the couch. We’ve got other things to move.” And so you start to move the other things.

The other heavy things are easier to move. The dresser you brought was empty, and the shelves were able to be completely pulled out. The bookshelf you had was from IKEA, and at this point was the same weight and durability of a paper plate- but it got the job done. All the books that once inhabited it were in several separate storage bins, which you brought in after making sure the shelf wouldn’t crumble upon being placed inside your new home. You’d gotten about halfway done unloading all your other furniture and belongings from the moving truck and your friend's car when a stranger approaches you.

“Do you need some help?” He asks. He is holding a bag of groceries in his right hand, and his left hand is in his pocket.

“If you wouldn’t mind. We’d appreciate it” You reply.

He nods, setting his groceries down on the sidewalk near your friend’s car.

His help makes the moving in process go a lot smoother- everything even remotely heavy he is able to lift with ease, allowing you and your friend to focus on arranging the townhouse to your liking. Finally, only one item remains: the couch. You emerge from the inside of the house where you had been putting your utensils and Tupperware away to go help him, but he doesn’t need the help. He has lifted the couch all by himself. You make sure to move out of the way so that you don’t get crushed by it as he enters the door. Your friend gives you a look as he places it on the floor of your entryway.

“Was that all?” He asks.

“Yeah. Thanks for your help. I’m y/n, btw.” You state, holding out your hand for him to shake it.

He accepts, giving your hand a firm shake, “I’m Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you.” You reply, ending the handshake.

“You too. Have a good one.” He says, leaving your house, closing your front door behind him.

Your friend stares at you with a peculiar look on their face. You stare back. They make a sweeping gesture with their hands and ask, “Well?” They are grinning as they ask.

“What?”

They roll their eyes at you, “A hot guy just helped you move into your apartment and you’re not excited about that?”

You roll your eyes at them, “You know I’m not looking for anyone right now. Besides, he seems a little too dark and brooding for my tastes.”

“Too dark and brooding for you? That’s a new one.”

You don’t respond to that assertion, instead changing the subject. “Are you staying for dinner? I was thinking of ordering delivery.”

“I don’t want to end up driving home in rush-hour traffic, so I’ll stay. Where are we ordering from?”

“Not sure, let’s look around.” You reply, pulling out your phone.

You end up finding a Chinese place that delivers food and spend the next few hours together eating, catching up, and talking about everything and anything. Like best friends do. Eventually, it’s time for them to go.

“I’ll let you know when I’m able to come down to get my car. Keep it safe until then.”

“Will do!” You reply.

“Alright, y/n. Stay safe. And don’t be a stranger.”

You give them a hug. “I won’t. Text me when you get home safe!”

They nod in response and head out the door. You watch as they drive the rental moving truck away, then head back inside, closing the door behind you. You lie down on your couch, which doubles as a fold-out bed- part of the reason you and your friend had been struggling to carry it up the stairs. You try to stop yourself from thinking about how odd it is for a man to be able to lift an entire couch by himself, but you can’t. Was he some kind of Avenger? Maybe a Captain America type in hiding? You stare up at the ceiling, imagining increasingly wild scenarios about who this man could be. Eventually, you doze off to sleep, thinking about him, while convincing yourself you're not actually interested in a relationship with him. Just curious.

You awaken in the middle of the night to a tv playing static loudly. You reach for your remote control. You’re about to push the power button when you realize you actually haven’t installed the cable yet- you were saving that until tomorrow. That’s when you realize that it’s coming from behind you- through the wall. It must be your next-door neighbor’s tv set. Not really that bothered by the sound, you roll over to go back to sleep.

Then you hear a different sound- a low whining followed by grunts. It doesn’t sound sexual- though it might be? It’s unclear, but it’s getting louder and more agitated- making you think you’re hearing your neighbor have a nightmare. So, you do what one of your parents used to do for you when you had nightmares: sing a lullaby. You aren’t sure if you are singing it to yourself so you can go back to sleep to ignore the odd noises, or if you’re singing it to your neighbor so they calm down. Either way, it works: the odd noises seem to subside, and you fall asleep.

This continues for a few nights in a row: getting woken up by tv static, hearing these odd noises, and singing a lullaby to go back to sleep. You wouldn’t have minded it, but it was starting to mess with your sleep schedule and affect your work. Tonight, you’ve had enough. You walk over to your neighbor's door, and knock on it. It’s fall in the city- so definitely more than a little chilly at night. You wait for a few moments and are about to knock again when the door opens. You quickly put your hand down and behind your back.

“Bucky?” You stare at him, quizzically. He is shirtless and covered in sweaty- his dog tags are hanging around his neck. You can only see the right side of his body.

“Yeah?” Bucky is fully alert at this point and has been for some time.

“Are you okay?” He ignores your question.

“Why are you knocking on my door at 1 am?”

“It’s your uh- your Tv. I can hear it in my apartment. It’s been waking me up at the same time every night.” You don’t add that you’ve been hearing him in his sleep. Or the lullabies.

“Oh- Sorry. I’ll turn it down. Good night.” He goes to close the door on you but you put your foot out to prevent it from closing completely. There is only a sliver of door open, enough for each of you to only see the eye of the other.

“Are you sure you're okay?” You ask.

“Don’t worry about it, y/n.” He replies. You relent, removing your foot. You stand outside the door after it has closed for about a minute, wanting to help. You sigh and return to your home, climbing back into bed. You lie awake for a while, not wanting to sing the lullaby- at least, not until you think he’s asleep again. If he won’t tell you what’s wrong, then you aren’t going to tell him that you’ve been helping.

A few days later, you get a package delivered to your townhouse that’s addressed to Bucky. You take it over to your neighbor only to find that he has his front door open, with his screen door closed. He is sitting on the floor staring at the tv, despite a chair being right next to him. There is another chair in the corner, facing towards the door. You think it’s weird, but you don’t have time to unpack it right now. You knock on the screen door. He acknowledges you with a look, before standing up and opening the screen door.

“This is for you- the delivery guy was off by a number.” You say, handing him the package.

“Thanks, y/n.”

“Hey, uh. Why were you sitting on the floor?” You can’t help but ask.

“I like sitting on the floor.” Bucky’s deadpan response catches you off-guard.

“I’m- I’m not sure what answer I was expecting to get. Anyway. See you later, Bucky.” You turn away, heat rushing to your face from embarrassment.

“See you later, y/n.”

You don’t tell him you can still hear the tv.

You don’t tell him you are still singing the lullabies.

The next day you wake up and realize you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. You don’t think too much about it, and go on with the rest of your day. Then it happens again. And again. And then the mail starts piling up on his front porch. First, it’s the newspaper. Then it’s coupons. Then it’s packages.

Five days after your peaceful nights of sleep begin, you finally come back to his front door to see what’s going on. You figure if he was dead you’d have smelt the decomposition by now. You knock on the front door and get no response. Not wanting to make it appear like his house was empty- though it was- you start collecting his mail, leaving it in piles on your front porch.

About two days later you see two detectives standing outside his front porch. You go outside to see what’s going on, and to pick up your own mail.

“Excuse me. Do you know who lives here?”

“My neighbor?” You respond.

“Do you know where he went?”

“No. Why are you looking for him?”

“That’s a matter of national security.”

“Okay?” You ignore them as they continue to stand outside his door, picking up your mail and going back into your house. You lock the door behind you, not wanting to deal with whatever bullshit was happening next door.

Another week passes, including an attempted attack downtown that almost made you evacuate before you see him again. And- you don’t see him first. You hear him. The same tv static that once kept you up at night feels comforting- it means he’s back. But the accompanying odd noises have also returned, meaning that whatever he went off to do didn’t cure what was bothering him. You sing the lullaby for the first time in weeks, to comfort your neighbor who barely knows you are there.

The next morning, you knock on his door and greet him with his collection of mail.

“Hello, Bucky!” You sound a little too excited that he’s back. “I’ve been keeping all your mail so it didn’t get damaged. Or stolen.” You say. You point to the collection you’ve neatly stacked on his front porch after carrying it over from your house.

“Thank you, y/n.” Despite the ongoing nightmares, there’s something about him that seems less dark- lighter. Like he’s let go of something he’s been holding onto for too long. “I was just heading out for lunch, would you like to come with me?”

You are both floored and puzzled as to why your neighbor who disappeared for 2 weeks is suddenly interested in getting lunch with you. And you would have accepted, except you couldn’t. “My friend from out of state is actually coming in today to finally pick up her car. She kind of got spooked after that whole thing a few days ago. But some other time, sure.”

You can’t read his face to see whether he took that well. “Okay. Another time then” He gives you a small smile as he steps to the side of you to pick up the pile of mail.

“Right. Bye Bucky.”

“Bye for now.”

You meet that friend in a cafe a few blocks away later that day and talk about everything that’s happened so far in your life since moving here- including your weird neighbor.

“So. What you’re saying is. You turned down a date with your suspiciously hot neighbor to come and eat lunch with me. Do I have that right?”

“Yeah” You reply, taking a bite of your sandwich. “Why?”

“Why would you do that?” Their exasperation is palpable, and their hand gestures really show their feelings off.

“What do you mean? I always put my friends first. It’s not like I told him to fuck off.”

They babble at you in frustration and fidget with their hands, incapable of coming up with a response for a while. Eventually, they stop this and are able to reply, “Y/n. You have my permission to blow off our plans if it means going on a date with a hot guy. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Because if you ever do something like that again I might spontaneously combust.”

You roll your eyes at your friend and take another bite of your sandwich.

That night, you are woken up once more. But this time is different. Because this time, you're going to confront him about it again, and you're going to get to the bottom of this. You knock on the door once again, like that first night a couple of weeks ago. He answers it- a lot less sweaty this time, but equally as closed.

“Is the TV too loud again?” He asks.

“No.”

“What’s up?” He seems concerned about you, more than he is about himself.

“You’re having nightmares.” You’re blunt.

He doesn’t say anything, but opens the door wider and moves out of the way- a gesture for you to come inside. So you enter his house, lit only by the TV. He doesn’t close the door behind you. It’s then when you notice it- his arm. Even when only lit by ambient light, it’s clear that his left arm is entirely metallic. As hard as it is to ignore- you ignore it because you are more concerned with whatever’s going on in his head right now.

“How do you know about the nightmares?” He asks, sitting down on the floor, where he had clearly been sleeping.

“I hear them.” You respond, before quipping. “I guess you like sleeping on the floor.” You sit down across from him.

He chuckles, but his face is solemn. “It’s safer this way…”

You sit in silence, staring at each other’s silhouettes in the darkness.

“How long have you been able to hear them?” Bucky asks.

“Since I moved in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“You’ve been gone for two weeks, Bucky. And you were more closed off before that. I didn’t think bringing it up would’ve helped anything.” You reply.

“Anything else I should know?”

You sigh, “I’ve been singing lullabies to try and calm you down. Doesn’t seem like it helped that much, though. I could tell you were struggling but wouldn’t accept help so I… I helped as best I could. Or at least, I tried too”

“Thank you for that. For trying, at least. I’ve been struggling a lot with some things in my past, but I’m trying to put them to rest.” He shifts his position, causing the metal of his arm to reflect like a disco against the wall.

“You don’t have a bed, do you.” It’s not a question. He wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor if he did. He wouldn’t only have two oddly placed chairs and a Tv in his apartment either.

“I don’t. I’m not sure I like them.”

“When’s the last time you’ve actually slept in a bed to know that?” You ask.

“I slept on a couch earlier this week. That was nice.”

“That’s not a bed.” You stand up, and you hold out your hand for him to grab on to stand up “C’mon”

He hesitates but uses your hand as a way to steady himself as he gets up- and for only that reason. He lets go of your hand as soon as he has completely stood up. “Where are we going?”

“To bed. Where else?”

“You have an extra bed?”

“No, but it’s fine.” You begin walking out the door, and he turns off the Tv.

“It’s not fine” He protests, but he’s following you outside.

“What are you so scared of?” You turn to ask him. And the fear in his eyes is clear from the porch lights. A man haunted by a past- of things he did, of things he could never tell you. A man scared that this is a trap.

“Stay there,” Bucky instructs. You are at the bottom of the steps to his front porch, and he is standing near the top, looking down at you.

“Okay.” You stare at each other, while he makes extra certain you haven’t been sent to kill him. To ruin his life after it has started to get back on track. That you aren’t a manipulation tactic. That you are just, well, you.

“Okay.” He responds, breathily. Beginning to walk towards you.

“Can I move now?” You ask, uncertain.

“Sure.”

He follows you into your house and you show him to your fold-out sofa bed. He sits down on it while you close and lock your front door. You keep your distance from him in the darkness and ask.

“Do you want me to help you unpack that?”

“No. I have a therapist for that. At least, I think I do.” You're surprised by his honesty about that.

“Okay. I’ll be in the kitchen if-” You go to walk past him but you feel him grab your arm.

“No. Stay.” It’s different from the first time he said it only a few minutes ago. More of a request than a demand. It’s not fearful.

“I will.” You affirm before asking, “Do you want another pillow or blanket? I have a few in my closet”

He lets go of your arm, “Sure.”

You’re a little nervous and uneasy- if only because he seems nervous and uneasy. Still, you bring him an extra pillow and blanket, then crawl into your bed. You keep your distance from him- trying not to crowd him or make him feel uncomfortable. You snuggle underneath your own pillows and blankets. Then, absentmindedly, you begin to sing the lullaby you had been singing to him through the wall. And you both drift off to sleep, feeling safer in each other's company- and not wanting the other leave.

[misslilli]

As always, thank you guys for leaving likes and reblogging, when I read the tags I always skip off to write another chapter 😁

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 23 - C Is For Closing Off

[ DS ]

I manage to get home in one piece and enter the house, dropping my book bag into a corner with a heavy thud. Dinner preparations are well underway as I step into the kitchen, the girls gathered around the stove, peering into a pot.

“Hey D, take a whiff of this, it smells deli-“ Sarah stops herself mid-sentence when she sees me, pale and shaky, tear-tracks still visible on my face. They swoop in and engulf me in a group hug.

“Oh my God, D, what happened? Are you hurt?” I shake my head and they lead me over to the dining table, sitting me down in one of the chairs, Holly keeping her arm around my shoulder.

I bury my face in my hands, the girls regarding me silently. “I’m such an idiot!” Holly brushes her fingers through my hair in a soothing gesture. “It’ll be okay, D. It’s going to be okay.” They give me time to compose myself and once I do, I tell them the story of what happened in the gym today. By the time I get to the end, I’m crying again.

“I can’t believe how stupid I am! It was perfect, he was perfect, it was so romantic, and sexy, you know, and I … I just ruined it!”

Sarah mutters under her breath: “I’m going to kill that motherf-…” She’s stopped by Alex with a hand on her arm and a slight shake of Alex’s head.

“D, why don’t you tell us what happened after school tonight?” I nod and dab my cheeks with the offered Kleenex, trying to put my jumbled thoughts into words.

“It was a really perfect moment, but… it was just… too much, all at once, you know? One minute, we’re bantering back and forth, I’m thinking about smacking his ass and the next minute his body is pressed against my back and his hands are on my waist – it all hit me head on like a freight-train so I panicked. It felt so good, so right.”

Alex places a hand on mine. “D, I’m sorry but I have to ask: Did he make you feel unsafe?”

I replay the scene in my mind and shake my head. “No. He never once made me feel unsafe, he handled me like I was made of glass.” After a pause, I add: “He made me feel 50 shades of turned-on, though.” I blush and smile wryly, trying to lighten the situation.

“Not to be disrespectful, but holy hell, the first part of that story makes me feel 50 shades of turned-on!” Holly’s admission makes us all laugh and I’ve never been so grateful for my friends in my entire life.

“So, where do we go from here?”

“I honestly don’t know, Sarah. I just need time to think, sort out the demons in my head with my therapist. I also don’t think I should see him again for a while, at least not one-on-one.”

“Whatever you need, D. Just one thing: I think you should talk to him about it. He probably thinks he’s screwed up royally now, and it only makes it worse if you start avoiding him.” At my panicked look Alex continues: “You don’t have to tell him everything, just tell him he’s done nothing wrong and that you need some space, okay?” I nod and find myself once again incredibly grateful to have three amazing friends to talk me off the ledge.

“Thank you guys, I wouldn't know what to do without you!”

----------

[ Felix ]

When mom drops me off on Sunday, the house is dark and quiet. I know dad is home because his car’s in the driveway, his shoes are by the front door and his keys are on their hook. The kitchen is a mess of dirty dishes and the whole house smells kind of funky.

I find dad passed out on the couch, his face illuminated by the glare of the TV, the remote clutched tightly to his chest. Fishing the afghan, whose smell oddly reminds me of Miss Scully, off the back of the couch, I drape it over my dad and then go through to the kitchen to clean up.

Normally, I’m not allowed to load the dishwasher because dad claims “I do it all wonky” but I can’t think of anything else to do and I want to help. Our house is not usually this messy and I wonder what happened here this weekend.

I finish putting the dirty dishes away and drag a chair over to the windows, climbing up to open them, shivering at the cold air from outside.

--

[ FM ]

A breeze of icy cold November air hits my face and my nose catches a whiff of Scully’s perfume. I jolt awake, my sleep-hazy brain thinking she’s somehow here, sitting at the end of the couch with that beautiful smile on her face. With a pang I realize it’s just the afghan she slept under after the party and I bury my face into the fabric, breathing in deeply. I feel like crying as the memories from earlier that day come flooding back.

She came by around noon, the sharp knock catching me by surprise, I wasn’t expecting anyone. I opened the door and there she was, a 5’3 gorgeous mixture of bright blue eyes and lips the color of ripe strawberries that would make any man weak in the knees. The prospect of finally being able to apologize and make things right between us made me at least a tiny bit hopeful that I didn’t screw up past the point of no return.

She asked me to let her speak first and with each word that came out of her mouth, I felt the screws of the vice around my heart tighten painfully. I wanted to scream. The ringing in my ears was so loud, I could barely make out her words.

Affirming me that I’d done nothing wrong. Telling me that it’s for the best if we don’t see each other for a while. I felt lost. Free falling. How was I supposed to keep track of time without measuring it in glimpses of her?

“I… Scully I’m sorry… if I made you uncomfor-“ She shakes her head and I stop talking. Her voice is quiet, her face sad, her eyes pleading with me to let her go.

“I just need some space Mulder. I’m sorry.” I only manage to nod my head once and my hands want so desperately to reach out and touch her face, hold her in my arms, keep her from leaving me here on this sorry doorstep. They reach to grab her arm, reaching, reaching but all they grasp is cold air, because she has already left.

I can feel tiny arms wrap themselves around me and a tiny kiss on my cheek and I open my eyes to find Felix hugging me tightly, silently.

I’m glad he doesn’t ask what’s wrong because I don’t want to explain what happened, can’t explain it to my innocent little boy, so I just hug him back until we both fall asleep.