#THE ESSAYS I HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT TOJI

[buttdumplin]

10 Favorite Characters Tag Game

thank you, @kyletogaz, i love you <3

Luffy - One Piece

Patroclus and Achilles - literally any piece of media

Asterion - Hades

Ichigo Kurosaki- Bleach

Nicholas D. Wolfwood - Trigun

Bobby Nash - 9-1-1

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Toji Fushiguro - JJK

Saichi Sugimoto - Golden Kamuy

Gerry Keay - The Magnus Archives

npts: anyone wearing a gray shirt when they see this

[lxmelle]

The subconscious, the soul, and the body...

It’s an understatement to say that the links and concepts between these are complicated / complex within the jjk world.

I’m just going to write about what I understand so far, and if anyone else has theories or a deeper understanding of it, please drop me a comment or reblog with your own thoughts. I’m open to discourse!

The rest is just largely focused on Gojo and Geto - exploring how their subconscious, soul and body may have been affected by their relationship.

What was meant to be short has gone into theorising territory as I attempt to make sense of things. I am Satosugu / SuguSato indulgent.

(Ps: I don’t discriminate over who tops/bottoms or if they even do it at all. Soulmates don’t necessarily need to copulate as far as I'm concerned).

Be warned and afraid.

It’s a real whopper of an essay by the way. If that’s not your thing, please just skim or pass - or stay for the parts you want to read and do it in multiple sittings if it gets too much.

Can you imagine what it’s like living in my brain? Ha! It’s too much for me too, hence, the info dump.

Sharing here, as I think some people enjoy reading about them too.

NOT spoiler-free. More under the cut (o^^o)

In my brainrot, the cogs start turning and sometimes 2 becomes what looks like 4 and I just have to get it out - you know the drill. Word vomit. If you’ve clicked, welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay with my obsessive brainrot, tangents, love for Gojo and Geto.

A bit on the Soul, the Body, Sub/Consciousness, and Cursed Techniques - skip this part if it’s boring:

So, based on what we have been told, Mahito believes he can see the soul, and that the body & soul are separate. For humans, souls can linger after death but upon rebirth, curses and humans alike will not know one another nor will they retain memories.

“Lingering after death” might be relevant to “north and south” too, but we don’t know with certainty what the afterlife in jjk looks like. North seems to mean rebirth - to become “someone new” - that is assuming Mei Mei is right.

Being sealed in an object (like Sukuna) is different to being in another body (Kenjaku and Tengen), and being in a binding vow/curse also changes depending on the nature of the contract, and being reborn is largely different to the rest because it seems to denote that the soul resets its memories at the very least.

Worth noting that I’m not clear on whether the spirit is different to the soul as well. They could be synonymous to some degree, but I think a spirit has the essence of a soul (indicating consciousness), and I define something with a soul to be at least a creature (with a physical body) or entity (metaphorical form).

In Toji’s resurrection case, his body is so strong from Heavenly Restriction, that it overpowers the soul of the host - Toji thus kills granny. His soul information wasn’t brought back, but some information must’ve been carved into it for it to retain… something. This something included parts where his body recognised Megumi as someone significant enough and attacked itself. (One has to ask if this is a parallel with Geto in no less than fewer than 10 chapters earlier, where his hand moved - more on this later.) Based on this, the body is separate to the soul but information can be written into it. And like the soul, a body can also be brought back through cursed technique.

OR, another interpretation is like as Kenjaku hypothesised - the body and soul are one. And if granny’s cursed technique is just summoning information, and when the soul and body are very linked like in Toji’s case, they both manifest - as in the body is so strong it pulls his soul along with it. I’m speculating. It could equally be soul information carved into the body (I’m leaning more to this interpretation).

Where curse techniques are concerned… For Yaga, he can extract the soul from the body - insinuating they are also not one and the same. And it’s not just information because the soul exists within what becomes a special grade cursed object. Multiple souls in panda’s case.

And cursed techniques themselves seem to be bound to the body for some - as in Geto’s case where Kenjaku can utilise his as well as his own techniques (along with those of his previous vessels)... however, with Sukuna and his vessels? Soul. Yuta with his copy technique - these are existing without the body or soul as this is his curse technique I guess. Reincarnated sorcerers bring their skills along with their souls too. And domains are supposedly tied to the soul. Geto was not shown to have one (but jjk 0 was created at a time where domains never existed) and if he did, Kenjaku did not have access to to it, unless the theory that the Womb Profusion is real.

Yuji could meet with Megumi's soul buried deep in his own body shared with Sukuna, that was now sunken in due to the bath of evil and killing of his sister. He also has the ability to shake a person's soul through his punches. So the soul seems to be something that can reside within a vessel and be touched through powers / ability.

Gojo was shown to be able to “see” something akin to Megumi’s soul, but this wasn’t depicted for when he saw pseudoGeto, despite the light novel saying he was constantly “staring at the shape of his soul” as he flew off on his pelican spirit. His physicality (six eyes) all but confirmed it was Geto. It was his soul that said otherwise - and it was enough to refute his six eyes. And Kenjaku believes the body & soul are one and the same, thus, confirming Gojo’s six eyes.

Or maybe Gojo can’t quite see souls? We haven’t been explicitly told. Did he see souls everywhere in that case? A part of me suspects Gege retconned this “seeing of the soul” for his fight with Sukuna, but I might be wrong. We saw the same blurry image as a representation of the soul with his six eyes, but this theory doesn’t hold up when we consider how he met with Geto at the airport.

The afterlife scene in ch236 shows their souls / consciousness somewhere at an airport (it is not known if they are merely greeting Gojo or have been there awaiting his arrival). This shows us also that they are separate. The soul has gone somewhere: Cursed realm or an Afterlife are the possibilities presented to us... because they haven’t reincarnated. Going nowhere doesn’t seem likely in the jjk world as they talk incessantly about souls and how they can be resurrected in one form or another.

For the sorcerer Geto fought with his Shiba doggy in HI - it was a fantasy of sorts - and is similar to the space between “curse and reality” that Kenjaku talked about with Sasaki. So it could be a cursed realm. And then Gojo smirking when Sukuna was giving his after-battle “send off”… did that indicate the body and soul could be one & the same? Is the afterlife a fantasy? It was a death dream? (Ah, idk how I feel about this, but again, the jjk world believes in souls).

It is so confusing. I know Gege likes the whole “there is no ultimate truth” but making this topic “up to individual interpretation” is really mind-boggling.

But Mahito and Kenjaku end up agreeing that they must be different based on technique. Maybe this is Gege’s retcon lol. Like how he created limitless and then got some people with the knowledge of physics to explain it retroactively?

I guess the manga readers needed a bit more real-world explanation once it got traction, which is understandable. But equally, some things may just need to exist as they are in fiction and unexplainable based on earthly morals or boundaries by the laws of physics and biology as we understand it.

It is possible that it’s just all dependent on curse technique, which makes Yuta’s copy possible without the body, the creation of Sukuna fingers allowing the transcendence of skills and soul without the body, Kenjaku to access soul-information (like memories) without the brain (as well as utilise the cursed technique), and for exceptions to occur, like Megumi and Yuji both accommodating the soul of another entity in their body. How some entities (sorcerer and cursed spirit alike) can touch souls - or even for cursed spirits to take on more human-like existences - implying they, too, can evolve and become a soul. Like humans evolving to become sorcerers (if they can).

And with a technique like cursed spirit manipulation, once a human’s soul is unable to exist in its physical body, the person will die unless they are like tengen with a curse technique that allows its soul to be removed - as as its form weakens… what happens to the soul if a creature / entity / being becomes more spirit than a human, where someone like Geto / pseudoGeto / Kenjaku can absorb it? I suspect they are exorcised, and they live as Pokémon-like shikigami spirits that have no soul?

We know those like Naoya can become cursed spirits, and Rika’s soul can ascend into somewhere leaving a shikigami spirit behind, so this tells us there are various levels of existence and consciousness - like a hierarchy of sorts with the soul being the most pure / transcendent. It makes sense based on my Buddhist understanding too, but who knows what exists in the jjk world. I’m just trying to make sense of it all...

And of course as I write this, ch.257 just dropped and Kenjaku bloody managed to create Yuji in a completely different era after somehow accurately discovering the reincarnated soul of Sukuna’s twin that was absorbed by him in the womb?!? 🤯 Gets pregnant as Kaori and manages to birth Yuji who could have been by luck or by design, inherited his father’s old soul’s Cursed Technique? So since Cursed Technique can manifest despite completely different DNA, it’s possible for one to assume that the Cursed Technique may be bound to the soul rather than the body… or at least for Kenjaku’s technique, he can create it within the body. or the soul?

What. The. Actual. Heck. And what happened to papa Yuji?

My brain starts to go bananas.

So souls can be split into twins if the egg splits into two (Maki & Mai and Sukuna & his twin (reincarnated into papa Yuji), and can reincarnate. But are considered one. But one can reincarnate separately. 🤯

And on reincarnation: Was the previous six eyes & limitless user Gojo before reincarnation, and does that mean that there won’t be another six eyes + limitless user since Gojo chose to go South? Especially since only one can exist in the world at any given time. Did Mai's spirit join up with Maki, or did she reincarnate?

It would make sense if the series is leading us to a conclusion whereby there is a new world where sorcerers don't exist anymore and all these OP beings like Sukuna, Kenjaku, and skills like the six eyes and limitless, cursed spirit manipulation, cursed speech, or copy aren't being reincarnated in the jjk world as it is now - by choice of the users. If Gojo and others all decide to stay in wherever they wish in the afterlife (pockets of reality wherever they may be), then the human world and the sorcerer world and the cursed spirit world will all exist separately.

But I honestly don't know if that's a good ending. It wouldn't make for very good storytelling? And all it would take was for a soul to get bored and wish to be reincarnated. So too many loopholes.

I mean, I could go deeper into speculating, but I really just wanna focus on the impact on Gojo and Geto for now...

More within the Satosugu / Sugusato context. Read here for it, or skip if it’s boring:

It seems romantic for those who have enjoyed the meme... “would we know each other in another life?”

Especially if these two were made to be counterparts. Anyway, moving on to what we see in the jjk world.

Those who like this pairing probably know these scenes:

Take it how you will. It’s rather evocative and indicative of a strong bond. If you’ve read some of my other analyses, you’ll know I feel that in the jjk world: To love is to recognise / know the other, even if they presented themselves differently. To love is to long for them, and to yield - something - whether it is a power or a sacrifice, for another.

Love shapes and forms a reason. Meaning. Purpose. It does something to the subconscious. It affects and alters a person and their soul. And even without the subconscious or the soul, one’s body can react.

Some of this will be my personal interpretation but it remains canon that Gojo’s soul recognised it wasn’t Geto with Kenjaku inhabiting him. Gojo didn’t want to kill Geto but he did in the end partly because Geto wanted him to. Maybe a part of him always wanted Gojo to, which is why it/he was a curse only Gojo could bear - the responsibility to kill him was always Gojo’s.

Gojo always had Geto in the palm of his hand. Neither acted to tip the strange unspoken balance they had where no lines were crossed until Geto declared war. Geto didn’t want to pull Gojo into his broken-down world in an attempt to attack the roots of the problems in the curse-filled world. Gojo attempted to reform the jujutsu world for a long time whilst holding it up within the institution as he knew it, hoping to make room for Geto should he wish to be saved. Yeah we know he really didn’t want saving in that way... he was too busy trying to save the ones he deemed worthy by eradicating the sinners, evolve those with potential and annihilate the weak. If he was weak he deserved to be killed.

Both longed for the other but could never quite be honest with one another. I headcanon that the words, “if I could be you” were thought about more than once by each of them. That’s why Geto said it and tried to be strong, and Gojo wanted to reform the world through eduction. They swapped fortes because they lost the other on the paths they walked on. They needed each other but fate had a different plan.

They didn’t know how to bridge the gap that had formed between them until many years later. Ultimately, despite their differences, they shared the same ideals and were designed to be counterparts. There was always a space for the other in their hearts.

In those two scenes, I wondered for a while: what was Gege’s point of depicting Gojo switching back to “ore” (in reference to himself - a nuance that cannot be translated into English from its original context within the Japanese culture) for two brief moments. What does it imply about their connection? How do we understand the levels of their “counterpart-ness”? Soulmatism. Romanticism. Whatever you want to call it.

And even pseudoGeto’s body reacting to Gojo’s voice calling out to Suguru. Nothing much ever came from it, and the conversation Mahito and Kenjaku had about the soul hasn’t been expanded on since (to my knowledge). So what was Gege getting at? What are we meant to understand? Back then, it maybe served as an unresolved issue - that Geto may need to have been rescued if his soul was trapped. But now that we saw him at the airport... we can all collectively breathe a sigh of relief - unless it was just a death dream. Then we can collectively cry.

So let’s go back to their connection. We know that Gojo and Geto were practically bonded and changed by being each others’ “one and only”. However you interpret their love is up to you, but it is undeniable that there is something unique and irreplaceable shared between them.

It was Mimiko and Nanako who recollected that Gojo was Geto’s One and Only 「たった一人の親友」.

This is undeniably canon. Geto mustn’t have mentioned him only once, or at least they learned through observation, that Gojo was important to him despite having his cult family. It’s possible that Geto might not have seen the other cult leaders much, if they were operating from different places. So this precious space was never filled after they “argued”. Geto was probably lonely / alone too after becoming PapaGeto.

And as a parent: you love your kids but they aren’t replacements for your life partner / soulmate. The same can be said for Gojo and his students. Even after death, there is a placeholder for that person. Even between partners, some people are more significant than others.

I wanted to note that this happened after the Toji incident:

Geto is actually holding an eraser, and Shoko, the pencil. It appears switched in the anime. So maybe it is not as important as it could be: by that, I mean, if Geto chose an eraser because he doesn’t like the idea of harming Gojo. So this is my headcannon.

But I theorise that it’s possible. Geto doesn’t like harm to come to those he loves - like arguing. With his cult family, this was one of the philosophies they continued after his death. Geto interpreting the kfc breakup as an “argument” also speaks volumes, imho.

The eraser goes further than the pencil, probably because it is considered less dangerous than a pencil, which Gojo elaborates in the next panels.

We also know that Gojo knows Geto - the ins and outs. He knows what he smells like (residuals, scent or whatever you want to call it) and can predict what he might do based on how well he knows him. This is reciprocal as Geto, too, knows how Gojo thinks. Kenjaku of course exploits this.

It’s not too much of a stretch to think that Gojo has a tendency to let his guard down around Geto. Hence his switching to “ore” 「俺」 and his mask “of proper decorum and speaking politely” slips when he sees pseudoGeto (whom he thinks is Geto momentarily) and also Geto at the airport. He reverts to “boku” after that. (If you’re not already aware, Gojo used “ore” throughout the Hidden Inventory arc but changed to “boku” after Geto left - likely as a result of maturing and adopting his friend’s advice to be more polite.)

For context:

Gege himself says he sometimes switches to usage of “ore” when he is excited - taken from the hared interview with Tite Kubo in the jjk character book.

So it’s really not imagining things when we see Gojo depicted specifically to be reacting like this to Geto alone. It seems like Gege is showing us something about Gojo’s subconscious / psyche. They are largely authentic with each other. There is a cultural difference in Japan about context of the inner (honne) and outer voice (tatemae). “Ore” and “Boku” represent that for Gojo respectively, I gather.

Their friendship, the rupture (and the intermittent anguish over 10 years), and having to kill his best friend - are all precisely why he gets sealed. His subconscious seems to know that Geto wouldn’t hurt him. He also trusts that Geto’s subconscious wouldn’t hurt him either. He believed Geto wouldn’t kill young sorcerers - and true to form, this cost him his life.

So there is trust for the person’s mind, there is knowing/identifying of the soul, there is familiarity of the body…

Which is interesting because all that is there is the body. Geto’s subconscious isn’t there anymore with his brain not physically present in pseudoGeto/Kenjaku’s body - but then his arm reacts to Gojo.

It even continues reacting for some time. Look at those veins along his arm in the panel below:

This is significant in the reciprocal nature of Gojo and Geto - Gojo’s speech changed for a moment and he is hit with all the memories from 3 of the best years of his life - his “3 years of Aoi Haru”/3年の青い春 like being smacked with his own unlimited void. Geto’s body reacts involuntaril and tries to retaliate, (just like Toji did several chapters later to stop himself from hurting Megumi/ending his massacre).

They reached for each other, y’all 😭

Again my brain just goes places, and it made me wonder about the soul & body thing. I hope that Geto’s soul is really at the airport, but that there is information carved into the body (like his memories) - if they’re important enough to become instinctual.

It is also, by extension, then possible that... Kenjaku experiences something outside of just thoughts /memories when inside his host...

Just as we see here - yes he does need to keep an eye on the cube, but his expression / reaction to knowing that the girls’ presence are there... addressing them only after the curses have left, and what he says to them, as well as admitting he doesn’t remember what regret feels like -

…and cue an tighter shot of the prison realm (with Gojo’s eyes in the anime depiction) (and interestingly the back of the realm has stitches like Kenjaku’s forehead).

Gege likes to foreshadow and follow up with something significant. So similarly to the above where he sees the girls and acts like he doesn’t give a toss, but is depicted to seem contrary to what he says. Could it also be that it Gojo’s eyes staring that incited the involuntary movement, and the reemphasis of Kenjaku saying he was enjoying the view of seeing Gojo captured - a similar pattern? This old man is just a brain who forgot how to feel?

It begs the question for me: If there was something imprinted within the body that Gojo could call out, what was there?

It remains possible that Kenjaku was simply detached / in denial / ignoring any emotion that arose within from Geto’s body.

Arguably, it is possibly quite characteristic of Kenjaku who was a “mother” and had some motherly instincts remaining, or it could also be seen as an emergence of some sympathy or sadness for the girls that may have come from Geto’s body. I mean, he led Yuji’s friend (Sasaki) out of the culling games, acting like a parent / guardian...

Hmm…

We do not see a physical reaction to any children though; and I guess a situation like that (with the Hasaba girls) in comparison to one that may be filled with adrenaline like a trapped Gojo speaking in that low baritone to him, is inherently different. But regret though? Was it actually a knowing smirk Gege showed us of Kenjaku in front of the prison realm - as if to say he had bested Gojo and Geto? He got his way with the girls too, despite knowing Geto’s feelings?

Or did he simply not recognise it, and it was truly a first for Kenjaku because there normally isn’t something there, but with Geto’s body - something actually stirred / retaliated... because it was Gojo?

I mean, from a neutral perspective, it would seem like the author is shipping them, lol. But I’m not going to lie - we don’t get much honest feedback from Geto about Gojo, so nuggets like those are quite affirming that the connection felt between them was very mutual.

Because if we see how it all began, and note that all Geto wanted to do was to protect those who needed it (even if it was at his personal expense). First it was humans, then Gojo, then sorcerers and then his family too.

And this was born out of the fracture from being unable to be relied upon to kill Toji (avenge Gojo & Riko’s death) or to fight Toji with Gojo, since leaving him alone resulted in getting him killed - which he must’ve believed happened until the point he saw him alive again carrying Riko’s lifeless body...

His connection with Gojo was so strong that (as Gege described it) his body reacted like a dragonfly whose head has been cut off. Something imprinted so deeply in their friendship that it became instinctual - carved into the body - and may not be related to the mind (therefore my avoidance of using the term “subconscious” with pseudoGeto, as it would be Kenjaku’s consciousness).

Moreover, if we take Toji’s resurrection as an example, even in the absence of a soul, the body can still remember and react. In a Geto’s case, where there is a different mind controlling it, for the body is react as separate entity is rather remarkable. I guess by saying this, I’m postulating that I believe body & soul are separate - because, if I’m honest, I want to believe Geto’s soul is with Gojo post-chapter 236.

But. We know there are all of Geto’s memories within the body still after Kenjaku inhabit it. In the absence of the host’s brain. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, Gege - but here we are. And maybe. Emotions too. Or memories of them at the very least. Not that it matters to Kenjaku.

This greatly disturbs me. It’s a level of injustice that also feeds into why I have been avoiding doing metas in Gojo - because his suffering and level of unfairness thrust upon him for simply being “blessed” and resilient just … hurts so bad. I can’t face it just yet.

So what exactly made their connection so profound?

I theorise that Geto interpreted Gojo as wanting to fight alone. That he was in his best element doing so. Kenjaku says this about Gojo too, knowing Geto’s memories.

Short sidenote: Whilst it is true that his technique lends itself better to soloing, I wonder how they might’ve fought together had the Toji incident not occurred. How would they overcome Unlimited Void aside from being back/to-back? Could Geto obtain a curse of his own to swallow him up as protection? No doubt, as a team, Geto’s progression could’ve been exponentially increased due to the number and level of curses available to him with assistance from Gojo. And would Gojo be different and enjoy fighting together had it not occurred? I don’t know, but they do seem to have wanted a connection with one another.

He saw Shoko being asked for help with teleportation. Once upon a time, might it have been him? There was no longer any “we” that he could sense. He didn’t feel there was a use when he had “failed” in so many ways after the failure of the mission and also believing that Gojo died that day and he was unable to avenge him.

The conversation with Yuki all but reinforced his feelings of irrelevance and perceived waste of their sacrifice when tengen was allegedly stable again. Subsequent conversations with Haibara and Nanami seals his skewed belief that he wasn’t needed there. Nanami’s choice of words is very interesting in the original text, implying that “it’s enough for him (Gojo) alone, isn’t it?”. Ref post by @nanami-says who has a nice selection of pieces about translations.

Gojo alone could do it. He could train and ascend all without him; untainted and untethered. His downfall was that he didn’t speak to Gojo. Gojo alone was left out. I mean, just because it suited him doesn’t mean he should be left to do it all...

This is so sad.

He left his heart (Gojo) alone. He also left his own heart alone (never happy from the bottom of his heart). In his descent, he was busy rationalising everything else except getting sad that he felt he’d lost his best friend. Arguably, the most important thing, because it is the scariest things and the things that hurt the most often have the most power / potential to heal.

It is possible he was actively avoiding it. Because, if it was purely about chasing an ideal he could have been drawn to look obsessed with it. Instead he has a sorrowful “I love you so much imma break up with you” face.

Gojo could have been the strength he was seeking if he did indeed want to just eliminate all humans, but he didn’t seek that out because (I theorise) he didn’t want to be outwardly rejected by Gojo.

And thus, he left instead (ugh! you foolish brave coward!) after snapping, and Gojo was left alone to pick up the pieces all by himself in a place haunted with memories of them together.

Just bloody tragic.

And that’s why it was carved into their souls.

In the depths of despair that he was in, could it be that he believed Gojo was better off without him , and in wanting to cradle whatever pride he had left, he sought to build his own temple where he could live in the void of his own making without facing that he had lost everyday?

Gojo could be free to grow and grow and be the strongest and embrace whatever belief system he now held - whether it was borrowed from him or not.

He even goads Gojo into killing him off since there would be meaning to it.

Sigh. Heartbreaking. It wasn’t the best decision. But we know suffering builds character. At least Gege really likes this theme❤️‍🩹.

Why do I believe he yielded though?

Because caring for others comes second nature to Geto. How many times have we seen him make that forlorn face?

Even with the souvenir he requested from Haibara, in the original he phrases it in such a way he implies he isn’t even sure if he’ll see him. “Satoru too; I don’t know if he’ll have some, but I guess, something sweet?” But. He yields to his preference.

There is limited space in his heart, and all he can do is exclude some in order to vehemently love those he can (or deems worthy enough based on his moral system). He didn’t know any other way to exist. Monstrous love. I’m pretty sure someone wrote about it. If I can find it I’ll link it! I call it maternal rage, but it’s a similar concept.

If he had wished to leave without staining Gojo, the absence of a confession of his love at any point also makes sense - like Nanami, he chose his final words carefully - that he hated monkeys (why preface with “no matter what anyone says”) and in a roundabout way, that he djdnt have hate for anyone at the school (can’t he just say he was happiest in those few years?). He wasn’t happy in the world (you can just kill me).

When he saw and felt Gojo’s love - unwavered and unchanged, seeing him having blossomed into someone still so pure - effortlessly righteous, strong, and proud with his army of students who loved each other... did he dare feel absolved? Did he feel like it was worth his defection? Yielded to others? Unable to be selfish? As sad as he was for himself and that his family would be without him and his dream unrealised; Gojo turned out ok.

Suddenly it gave meaning to his perceived sacrifice. It parallels with Toji and seeing Megumi who wasn’t a zenin.

Ah, this makes me mad somehow, but if it helped him pass and have a good death, what can I say? We all need something different at the end of our lives. And it’s important in the Shinto perspective to have a death free of regret in order to live in the space between nowhere/rebirth and earth. I posted about this in another piece too.

And I think that’s also why it was all carved into his body - enough to react to Gojo calling out to him, “Suguru”, despite being inhabited by Kenjaku. And carved into his soul that’s why he waited in the afterlife for Gojo. To be the first to greet him. I want to believe the body and soul are separate. The subconscious may have acted as a bridge between the two, transferring information from the mind / soul into the body.

But of course as a reader we wished it could’ve been a kinder fate for them. But I guess sometimes people have to pay for their sins as well as the sins of others? Life isn’t fair after all…

And arguably, Gojo needed a way to truly sympathise with the weak and how else through loving and losing someone to shape a person’s soul? It was just rather Geto-shaped, as I elaborated on in my other post.

I highly suspect Gojo may have wanted something different - as being born the strongest, he was always going to be the strongest anyway. This came with a burden. Noblesse Oblige. Being the strongest was written into his entire being - mind, body, soul.

And I think this was something they had both respected. I doubt Geto ever thought of himself as a power equal to Gojo, but they had both valued their friendship. Geto was someone who saw Gojo for a person, before the strongest. That’s why when Mimiko and Nanako asked, he was considered thus “my best friend”, and not the latter. Gojo recognised that for what it was, and felt the tender words that showed Care. Consideration. Love.

Gojo may have wanted Geto to lean on him a little. To let himself take the fall. They both didn’t like burdening the other, and after Toji it might just magnified. He wasn’t the type to overthink his role, but wanting to be the strongest (seeing how far he can go) and taking on all the blame was one of the ways Gojo was extremely loving. It was just something he accepted.

I feel like Gojo wanted to be relied upon to do his part; be his best friend, someone he could still love and do the mental and emotional load for him, spoil him a little in return so he could just do his thing as the strongest and train. He needed his other half to help him to do the things he doesn’t like or isn’t good at doing.

I think that as they experienced their bafflingly complementary and reciprocal friendship … before he knew it, all these experiences and emotions shaped him so much that his soul made room for Geto - as the one person who represented fulfilment outside of being the strongest.

Never once did he think he’d lose Geto like he did. He never wanted to be at it alone. Like a lonely army tank whose comrades had left him on the battefield to fight it out on his own.

Ugh, it hurts so bad. He didn’t think Geto was slipping down. Maybe because it wasn’t something he could understand- even more so after the enlightenment incident where a chasm emerged between him and others. Maybe nobody was ever important enough for him to worry or miss if they left.

He nevertheless never deserved to be met with such loneliness and misfortune. He carried the weight of it all, all by himself. I know they both did in their own way, but there is some tragedy to Gojo where he probably wanted or could have had more to fill his life and soul but there was always a chasm or a void that could not be filled because he could not feel understood by anyone since Geto.

How awful it must feel to have to kill someone you treasure.

We have no idea without much insight into his life growing up. Nevertheless, Gojo consistently shielded those he cares about from self-blame even from the beginning where he must’ve known Geto had such inclinations to be stuck in his own head and he tried his best to absolve it and take it upon himself. The priorities of those he cared about became his, provided if he could do it. He protected the students and made light of situations so they could experience their youth. Something he can remember treasuring well into his adult life. His blue spring / best years of his life were deeply etched into his subconscious and soul. It was what he wanted to give his students and reason for reforming the jujutsu world.

But being shielded at that time wasn’t enough for Geto who was experiencing the worst spiral in his life yet. He needed to feel the weight of his responsibility had meaning and a role. In his trauma, grief and denial, he shatters and reaches a point from which he cannot return. He also knows how Gojo defines the weak - tiresome, “lower”, etc. and that could have been another factor that led to his avoidance of him.

I want to really emphasise how I don’t blame any of them. They are not inherently responsible for the other. Arguably, Gojo needed to learn about that pain in order to know what love is. And Geto needed to realise how flawed and unloving his path actually was.

If only they could’ve both had a compassionate mentor who guided them onto the Teacher AU path 😭

In the absence of such a connection etched into his soul, what might Gojo have become? Another Sukuna? I theorised that Geto helped Gojo connect with those “beneath” him in a recent post. I’m not going to repeat that here, but it makes a lot of sense to me that Gojo learned a lot about love through Geto and his own hard work following the numerous hardships he faced as the loneliest strongest of the modern era.

He faced so much in his short life. Being blessed with the six eyes and limitless was a curse in itself. He spent years paying the price for losing his friend, and even had to kill him. How profoundly tragic. He faced loneliness and criticism for finding joy in the only thing that he practically had: jujutsu (yes that kept him one-dimensional, but similar to MeiMei chasing money and several others pursuing strength alone) it was a hefty price to pay. But he was a sorcerer. After all, the only thing he really wanted was to treasure his blue spring and the person associated with it - Geto.

It is poetic that when Gojo died, his soul found its counterpart. He opened his eyes to the person whose presence had etched itself so deeply that he knew Geto in body, mind, soul. Geto was there to greet him with a heartfelt smile (and pout!).

One meeting him at the point of death, and the other, upon death.

Their exchange is really reciprocal here too, with Geto admitting he was envious and Gojo responding in a way where he implies reassurance akin to “I needed you there”. Link to a post on this:

Geto’s little tear in his eye in not one, but two panels as well.

Anyway… then appearing at the airport reminds me of their exchange many years ago “you’re late Suguru - no you’re early.” And “you’re late, Satoru.”

Well, they’re on time now... better not be late for your flight, kids.

And as Kenjaku said to Gojo before sealing him - 「新しい世界でまた会おう」

“let’s meet again in the new world.”

—————————

Sorry, it’s a whopper from me again.

Just some words in an attempt to close this off:

For someone whose emotions guided and drove his rationale, it was ironic how Geto’s body became a puppet for someone like Kenjaku, who was so cerebral (devoid of empathy) befitting of his curse technique to brain-hop. It fits with the jjk theme of being strong in the absence of love, I guess?

Seems fitting that Kenjaku was bested after slipping up when having that good of a time with Takaba. Ironic isn’t it? All those years scheming, only to lose himself for a moment as he indulged in something novel, and he lost to a scheme himself.

And to be killed by Gojo v3.0 (Yuta) who already defeated him once, also as foreshadowed by Gojo before being sealed, on the date he scheduled 24th November.

The parallels don’t end there either, where somehow mahito who stood beside Kenjaku was created to parallel Gojo in some way too (I haven’t quite pondered on this much yet, but I reckon there is something about the thrill in growing exponentially / fighting sense that they share - it might just be that alone or possibly also the juxtaposition of one being human and one a curse? Their reasons for seeking strength?

I dunno - i gather Yuji who also developed exponentially fast and as an anomaly himself may have similarities. And again, as ch 257 leaked, it makes sense and I look forward to finding out what’ll happen to them (seeing as Yuji is kind of sukuna’s son 🤯 if the jjk world considers twin souls to be one soul - papa Yuji is Sukuna’s twin after all) and also Megumi of course.

Just going to wrap up here now, and please feel free to link me up to a post that can enlighten me or drop a comment with any thoughts?

Sorry for a rambling post. I hope it made sense.

For real, real. Thanks for reading my brainrot ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[anaer]

wip wednesday (nov 20 24)

JJK time travel fix it fuck it up fic (chapter two) (in which gojo dies and decides to have it all when he wakes back up) sukugo/stsg rating: gojo is a good teacher, really

Three days later, Gojo realised that he forgot to give his students a due date for this assignment. He realised this when he bounced into class, smile on his face, declared, “Okay! Time to turn your essays in!” and Yuta nearly passed out crying while Maki and Toge glared at him.

“Eh?” He stared at them all through the white covering his eyes, frowning in confusion. “I did not say a single thing that should have made you cry. ”

The cacophony of shouting – insults both obvious and onigiri – filled the classroom above the sound of Yuta’s tears. Gojo pressed a finger between his eyebrows and sighed.

“Okay, okay, okay. My bad. Just tell me what you know or whatever. Maki?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, slumping lower in her seat. “Fine. Ryoumen Sukuna, King of Curses, strongest in history and all that, could possibly kill you even—”

“Yes, definitely,” Gojo interrupted her to say, doing his damnedest to clamp down on the dreamy smile slipping across his face. It would really undercut his authority with her right now, and she already didn’t respect that. “He can definitely kill me, especially when he’s possessing Megumi. Otherwise it’d be very up in the air.” He paused. “I can’t say for sure that wouldn’t still happen, but it’s definitely a toss-up.” If he’d stayed alive longer, maybe they would’ve gotten around to fucking, though. It had really felt like it was heading that way for a while. Which ultimately meant—

“Huh, I wonder if killing Megumi now would…you know, that could work—nah, ignore me. I’m not gonna do that; I’m just joking. I would never kill one of my precious students.”

He would probably kill Toji’s kid, though, he did not say aloud.

“You know, especially not Megumi. Who I definitely care about and would never harm. Really. I wouldn’t. Although…maybe? No. Dumb idea. Forget I said that.” Maki stared at him like he’d lost it (so did the rest of them), but as she always looked at him like that, he gestured for her to continue.

"He…ravaged the land, terrorized people a thousand years ago, et cetera—you know what? Fuck this. It’s bullshit. What are you even trying to teach us? This is all shit we know.”

“Shake,” Toge agreed.

“Um…I don’t,” Yuta said. He’d finally stopped crying. Gojo was really going to have to work on fixing that.

Maki continued, “I know you’re being a freak. First, you give us an assignment out of fucking nowhere when we all know you don’t teach. Then you make us randomly research Ryoumen Sukuna, which is not even part of the curriculum this year.”

“How do you know that’s not part of the curriculum this year?”

“Because you don’t even know what the curriculum is,” she said.

Gojo stuck his tongue out at her. Maturely.

Maki rolled her eyes. “And then we come back in to the classroom to see you’ve made that weird ass mood board on the back wall and have ‘Fuck Sukuna’ written in big letters like one of your life goals.” She pointed to the goal in question. “Is this why you said bonus points for his love life?”

Gojo ignored everything she said and focused on the important part. “On that note, what did you all find out about his love life? Any wives? Kids? Boytoys?”

Maki groaned loudly, even as Yuta raised his hand.

“Yes, Yuta-kun! I’m glad someone wants to actually participate like they should.”

“Um. Gojo-sensei…So. I do want you to be happy and all, but. That’s. Uhhhh. Can I just ask…why you’re trying to fuck a thousand year old dead evil sorcerer? And not, you know. Someone else? Literally anyone else. Not that I’m…judging. Who you’re into.”

Gojo made up his face. “Well, good, because you’re married to the cursed spirit of your dead childhood friend that haunts you, so I’d hope you wouldn’t.”

Yuta did not start crying again. Progress.

[hexaonic]

ok buckle up longform essay on SatoSugu incoming

this thing was written for a friend in google docs and it is six. pages. long

the brainrot is real and it is driving me insane so HERE WE GO

In any interpretation of the relationship between Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru – lovers, close friends, brothers, etc. – the dynamic and story between them is (at least to me) incredibly tragic.

You have Gojo, who’s the Honored One - born into one of the three most powerful clans with two rare and frankly op techniques that render him a god amongst men and the Strongest sorcerer in jujutsu society - The strongest is untouchable, too high up for anyone else to reach, destined to be lonely at the top and exploited by the rulers of this society as a trump card, a weapon, for the rest of his life

Until he’s not.

Enter Geto - a sorcerer born from non-sorcerers, with the ability to manipulate curses. But his cursed technique is painful, and requires him to swallow the curses he exorcises in order to absorb them; he himself describes the taste as a “rag used to wipe shit and vomit”. If Gojo is a star or the sun he is the earth, closer to the curses they purge from the world than probably anyone else - after all, he ingests them. I’ve seen fics where they describe the curses affecting his mental state, eating him up from the inside and shouting at him in his head - but that’s not canon, and it just makes me sad, so I put it in cause I’m talking about the tragedy anyway. Geto is strong - cracked at martial arts and skillful with his cursed technique, and together he and Gojo are the strongest.

The two strongest sorcerers are tasked with delivering Riko, the star plasma vessel, to Tengen. They grow attached and are very aware that Riko is scared of the merger and wants to stay longer on the earth with her friends and her beloved maid and them, and they indulge her as long as they can before she goes. But they bring her to the school and she dies anyway, by the hands of the urban legend that is Toji Fushiguro - and Gojo, for the first time in his life, comes close to death. Geto, who has never once seen Gojo weak, is in reasonable shock and horror when Toji kills Riko right in front of him, then pronounces his untouchable best friend dead. He fights and is defeated, but not killed, and Toji leaves. Gojo survives with RCT and his new unlocked Hollow Purple, and kills Toji - but when he finds Riko and Suguru steps into the room, he is in a bit of a hollow mental state (which is understandable - riko is dead, he just made what is probably his first kill in his life, and the people who are at least indirectly responsible are clapping and celebrating her fucking death) and asks Suguru if he should kill them. Suguru says no - that there would be no meaning to it, and that meaning is everything - especially to sorcerers. And Satoru follows, because Geto is the moral compass for both of them.

It must be understood that Suguru is a moral person, but in a careful and objective way - he seems to organize things into neat boxes of “right” and “wrong”, “meaningful” and “meaningless”, and holds a strong sense of justice and responsibility that keeps him in the sorcery race even when he has to swallow vomit-curses and watch people die around him. But it grates on him, a lot, and the grieving and vomit and the ignorance of the non-sorcerers he is supposed to be saving, those he once believed were sorcerers’ responsibility to protect against curses, builds up on his psyche like a mold or an infection and keeps growing. When Yuki talks to Geto after the death of Haibara, she plants the idea in his head that yes, cursed energy does come from almost exclusively non-sorcerers and yes, eradicating cursed energy is possible in multiple ways, and yes, eradicating all non-sorcerers is technically a feasible solution, he struggles with that. A lot. At this point he is already spiraling really badly and questioning everything about his morality and his moral compass and his entire life purpose, and takes this idea to heart.

Meanwhile, his near-death and his power evolving during his final fight shook Gojo to his core and pushed him to be stronger no matter the cost. He got good at using his Limitless cursed technique at all times, being able to control it and its branch techniques with great efficiency so that he could never be caught off guard again. He gets sent on more missions, as he truly becomes the strongest - but in this process, he unknowingly begins to leave Geto behind. Gojo works best alone, when nobody is there to become collateral damage for him, and the authorities in charge send him on solo mission after solo mission. He is too blinded by his own pursuit of strength and his perception of Geto - the morally righteous one, his keeper, his compass, his best friend - to see his counterpart dying a little bit more with every passing day he is left to rot in his own mind. 

Geto sees this disconnect between him and Gojo and it adds another straw to his very quickly growing spiral haystack, and at some point it has to snap. And it does - he is sent on a solo mission to a rural village, where they have locked two sorcerer girls in a cage and blame them for the things happening to their town. Even after Geto exorcises and swallows the curse that was causing the problems in the first place, the village people blame the girls for their powers. It enrages him, and probably makes him think of Haibara and Gojo and the culmination of all the things non-sorcerers do to sorcerers in the name of ignorance, of hunting and eradicating anything that is “other” or “alien”, of the man who nearly killed him and his best friend and called himself a monkey. How the deaths of his friends have all been undeserved, caused by something they could not control or even foresee, how sorcery is all just a race to the bloody, unjustified, meaningless end. Something in Geto snaps, and he massacres the entire town and takes the girls under his wing with his new conviction: that he hates monkeys, and they deserve to die.

Gojo and Geto have their kfc breakup. Gojo is genuinely shocked that the one person who always caught up with him, and was always there by his side when nobody else ever really could be, turned around and committed mass murder when Gojo didn’t even know Geto was suffering, and Geto takes this as Gojo’s ignorance, too: that while he was here spiraling and rotting to the point that he snapped, Gojo was the strongest. Untouchable. Exalted by all and therefore not knowing, or caring, what it would feel like to doubt his own morality or fear the inevitable death of everyone around him in the brutal world of curses and sorcerers. Geto believes that the life of a sorcerer has no meaning - that the endless race of kill or be killed from adolescence to an early grave is a dead end, a pointless suicide mission, generation after generation of lemmings culled by the sorrows of the weak - by the ones they swear to protect. (Some stories spin it a slightly different way, where Geto and Gojo are in love - and seeing Gojo work himself to the bone to be a living weapon all his life, seeing his one and only isolated like this, kills him more than the thought of being hated for freeing him. They theorize that this is the main conviction that drives him to go through with the plan to kill all non-sorcerers.) 

So he leaves, and is branded as a curse user to all of jujutsu society. He is to be killed on sight. But Gojo is the one to confront him, and when he raises his hand to kill his best friend he can’t do it. (“Kill me,” Geto says as he walks away. “There’d be meaning in that, too.”)

The Honored One and the Cursed. The Heavens and the Earth, the Righteous and the Damned. One blessed with innate kindness, and snap moral judgment - one cursed with an infinite moral dilemma, relegated to careful deliberation and action to carry out justice. One with a cursed technique that could be compared to ascension, unlimited power and enhanced perception and untouchable beauty, so high up he is unreachable as heaven itself - one with a cursed technique that could be described as bottom-feeding, damning, so low compared to the veritable God he walks beside that it seems the curses he swallows and the pain he carries could sink him into the earth all the way down to hell.

Yin and Yang, two halves of a whole that circle each other, but never really touch. 

Gojo’s Infinity ensures that. 

In their separation they both adopt children - Geto the girls he saved from the village, Gojo the kids he saved from the clan that had produced and rejected Toji. Geto becomes a cult leader, amassing curses and money and followers by tolerating “monkeys” and healing their “ailments” and swallowing their curses. Gojo becomes a teacher, swearing that as long as he is there nobody will be alone again. (Shoko was there - has always been there - but that is a different tragedy altogether.)

They meet again in JJK 0. Geto declares war on all of jujutsu society, the Night Parade of a Thousand Demons (I think), and Gojo fights alongside the school. Yuuta and his own tragedy, Rika - his lost childhood love whom he accidentally cursed to remain on this earth and torment him, letting nobody close to her lover - face off against Geto at Jujutsu tech. When Yuuta accepts all of Rika and she fully manifests her power, the strongest curse Geto has ever seen, he begins to fight in earnest. (I’ve heard theories that maybe Geto is so unwilling to accept that Yuuta and Rika are truly in love during that fight because that would mean that him leaving everyone he cared about, and the one he truly loved, in order to save them from a life of suffering was completely unnecessary, and he could have had love and a purpose - he could have had Gojo -without all the pain he caused himself and Gojo and everyone who’d cared about him back.)

Yuuta defeats him. Satoru and Suguru are left alone after everyone has left, one painfully mortal and one painfully untouchable. Destined to fight each other. One cursed to die, one cursed to live. No matter the dynamic that was between them, their last words are a tender moment and a testament to the affection and care they still hold for each other, even after their ideals and their lives have strayed so far from each other in adulthood. Gojo kills Geto, but does not have the heart to dispose of his best friend’s body - which is what relegates Geto to the role of puppet, used to carry out Kanjaku’s agenda. In a way Gojo really did curse him, in the end.

Breaking the fourth wall, there are little elements outside the story that make it so painful as well.

Gege Akutami, the mangaka who created this whole universe and its characters and their dynamics (I look up to him, kinda, for the pain he makes me feel) has given details in author’s notes and interviews that make SatoSugu all the more painful. For starters, he agreed with the producer’s(?) statement, which describes Geto as Gojo’s “first and last warm spring of youth” which,, ow; and then he makes it so Geto’s priestly cult man robes are a design that literally have part of Gojo’s name in it (I can’t find the actual name but it’s in there) and in one author’s note or filler issue of the jump he gives us songs that remind him of each character and one of Gojo’s is about heartbreak and love and LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD could describe the dynamic between the two.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!

The anime, in season 2, opens with Ao no Sumika and ends with Akari - I think the opening and ending are meant to be Gojo’s perspective and Geto’s, respectively. The lyrics line up - the opening is fun and lively and bright but still foreshadows pain and heartbreak in the lyrics and certain frames of the sequence, and the ending is vaguely melancholy in lyrics, melody, and color; it’s even raining, and half the time Geto appears on the screen he is doused in shadow. In the opening the singer literally reflects on how the brightness/loudness of being with this person drowned out their silence (which cmon that’s satosugu for certain), and ruminates on the unsaid “will we meet again?” between singer and subject. (which AGAIN, SATOSUGU) And one of my favorite ever sequences in that ending sequence is a pair of scenes that show first Gojo, his eyes following a black beta fish with spiky, damaged fins and tail; and then Geto, his eyes downcast, looking away from a white beta fish that is whole and healthy, almost glowing. It’s my favorite way their dynamic is symbolized in the anime and the most painful - just these two frames themselves are enough to foreshadow their entire story. Gojo cares about Geto, and follows him - he wants him to come back. He wants him to be by his side again, for them to be the strongest again. But he doesn’t even notice Geto’s departure until the fish is already on its way off the screen. The fins on the black beta fish are damaged because Geto is sick, because Geto is spiraling, because beta fish whose fins are damaged and sickly like that are typically not far off from dying. Geto looks away from the healthy white beta fish - he turns his back on love. He thinks it’s pointless, and accepts like a martyr that to save Gojo from his fate at the hands of this world he will have to hurt him by destroying it, and likely dying because of it. What’s more - two male beta fish can’t be in the same tank together. They’ll fight to the death until only the strongest is left.

Gojo and Geto are tragic because it’s so clear that Gege wrote them as a duo, two halves of a whole, two sides of a coin. They are foils as much as they are literally meant for each other in any way that phrase can be interpreted, and yet they are destined to fall apart in the end. One is destined to kill the other, then live with the grief that comes from it. The strongest is fated to survive at the cost of the other, stranded on a pedestal that is covered in blood. They are kids, thrust into an endless cycle of death and pain and suffering and gore because it is their responsibility to protect the people that cannot help themselves, and when the two strongest children are met with the horror of it all one breaks and drops out, and one continues the race and runs faster because he’s not allowed to drop out. The one still running eventually must kill the other to keep running. The best tragedies are those where the characters could have very easily done something to prevent the tragedy from happening or stop it as it unfolds – but because of who they are, and their inevitable choices because of who they are, it doesn’t make sense for them to do so. It makes sense that someone so morally compromised like Geto would snap at the realization that the deaths of his friends will keep happening. It makes sense that once the idea was planted in his head and he was shown the multitude of ways in which non-sorcerers were ignorant of the suffering sorcerers went through to protect them, he snapped at the sight of child sorcerers being relegated to a fate they didn’t deserve. It makes sense that Gojo would let Geto free out of love, even if it led to his demise anyway. It makes sense that he was so shocked at his friend’s actions and curse-user status, because he was buried in his own set of societal pressures and took his friend for granted. It all makes sense, and yet they’re all doomed. Every last person in JJK is doomed. Geto’s children died trying to free his corpse from the monster (man) that stole it. Both of Gojo’s children house(d) ancient sorcerers, and will both probably die fighting in bodies they cannot control. Yuji, the main character, is surrounded by the deaths of everyone he cares for, and the foreshadowing of his own inevitable end. Gojo is the Prince in his tower, is forced to watch, untouchable, trapped, as the knight on a dragon is shot down, plummets to the earth below - and becomes the enemy against his own will. Sometimes it makes me so sad I am close to tears. (and sometimes i read fics that make me cry more, because how in the hell are people that good at writing grief and angst and tragedy and where can I learn to do the same)

If the manga ends happily I’ll be surprised, because right now it seems a tragic but meaningful ending is in the works and I’m scared

[linkspooky]

This is about jjk 208!

I'm confused on yuki's fate and a bit irritated how gege has treated female characters in jjk. I feel like there are barely any left that are narratively important. Is it just me? Like I used to have hope nobara is alive and will come back into the story but I'm losing faith especially with mai's and now yuki's fates. What do you think about jjk female characters currently? I still love them especially miwa and utahime and maki. Plus mei mei is interesting bc she's twisted. But I feel like there are no female characters that are important anymore... 😕 am I being too impatient or missing something?? 😭😭😭 like I know Shonen treats female characters like crap a lot of times but still

I pretty much agree with you, anon?

Spoilers under the cut.

If you want my essay on how female characters are treated in Jujutsu Kaisen, this is going to be a bit long, multilayered and rambly. Number one, I think a big problem is there's actually not that much variety in the Jujutsu Kaisen female characters. If we are talking about the female characters that are important so far and get screentime and not side characters like Utahime and Miwa.

We've got, Maki, Nobara, Shoko, Mei Mei, Yuki Tsukumo. These five women are essentially one women in that they are five different variations of "brash, independent, strong girl". I am not saying that they all are the same character but Gege clearly has a type of character he prefers and that is loud, tough as nails and fights just as strong as the boys.

And this is just my reading of the situation, but it seems to me Gege is trying to hard to overcorrect for what people consider the "Sakura" problem, or the "Uraraka" problem that is female characters who are softer and weaker than their male counterparts, never get to have fights, and usually end up just being permanent support and love interests. But it overcorrects way too hard in the opposite direction.

The thing is my favorite shonen female character is Orihime is she is all of those things that I just listed above, but she's still interesting because she's a three dimmensional character with struggles, feelings, and relationships to other people outside of Ichigo. People either try way too hard to write good female character, or they don't try hard enough and what you end up with is they forget to just write female characters with thoughts and opinions.

I think a consistent flaw with Gege's writing of female characters isn't necessarily that they're all mean and nasty but the fact that he doesn't give them long running character arcs? Megumi's arc is developing his ten shadows technique and learning to be a sorcerer and be more selfish when he doesn't want to be and battles feelings of suicidal. Yuji's arc revolves around the idea of death. I like Nobara but I am not sure what her arc would be, besides her initial confrontation with Mai and the fact she is a naive outsider to the trio. Maki had an arc in Jujutsu Kaisen Zero in her relationship with Yuta and how distant she was in the group, but that seems to be resolved in JJK proper and what they came up with was her relationship with Mai which was an interesting arc with a lot of potential for both of the sisters to reconcile and grow together but then Mai just dies. It's like Gege thought giving Maki a power up to make her just as powerful as Toji was more important than a character development arc that forces her to grow and change.

I say Miwa is the best written female character because she has an arc. Loses in the Kyoto battle arc and feels useless -> grows closer to Mechamaru and they both catch feeling -> because she doesn't reach out enough to Mechamaru in time, he ends up dying trying too hard to protect her which only reinforces her feelings of uselessness -> Miwa has to grieve Mechamaru, and cope, and move on.

I can draw a clear line from point a to point b, I know how the character is expected to grow and change. I like Nobara's character but also like, I understand why Gege exploded her head to raise the stakes of the three main characters she's the only one who didn't have much of an ongoing arc.

However, I will say that Yuki Tsukumo's death is just really weird. Like I said the problem with these female characters is not that they are shallow, or poorly written, but they're not super important to the story and they don't really have arcs. The thing about Yuki is the mystery surrounding her character was a pretty long running theme, where did she come from, what are her plans for the future. She's the first character to promote the idea that we can lived in a future without curse spirits or cursed energy and she was working towards this goal. Which sounds like where we might end up at the end of the series. She's a person with a hidden agenda that is using some of Geto's old allies and isn't necessarily on the side of the kids.

By killing Yuki you effectively lose all of that.

Yuki Tsukumo dying leaves like a hundred unanswered question on where she comes from, what her plan was, and the only vague answer we get about her is she used to be a star plasma vessel. Once again, we have this problem where what was interesting about Yuki was her plot importance and how she added to the world building of Jujutsu Kaisen and the mystery that surrounded her character.

What we got instead of Gege elaborating on any of that, was a fight scene where Yuki throws fisticuffs with Kenjaku. Because once again Gege writes a women as rough and tumble and just as willing to throw hands as one of the boys instead of just writing them as a character first.

Generally, for a character death if you have to kill them it's because they serve a greater narrative purpose dead then alive. Yuki being dead doesn't really add anything to the story, it just gives us a bunch of unanswered questions because Gege didn't elaborate or fill us in on all the mysteries he had building up with her character whatsoever. Now she's just kind of a spunky girl. Which like, great, whatever I guess but I preferred Mad Scientist, potentially dangerous ally Yuki Tsukumo with her own agenda.

As I said it's not really anything with Yuki Tsukumo's personality so much as her character writing, not only do we just know nothing about her now, but all future development or plot involvement or even plot importance and the things she could have added to the story are just gone now. We can't really know about these characters if Gege doesn't bother to tell us who they are.

[juusankai]

A little something about the seiyuu, Umehara Yuuichirou that I want to get off my chest.

As the Fall Anime Season approached me, I looked for different series I could watch in my spare time. Besides the ones I already wanted to watch I thought to myself I should check out MAL for an official listing of all the anime confirmed for the season. I thought to myself: "Hm...why not?". My curiosity was at it's peak.

As I scrolled the long list of anime, some of them that reached my interest, I immediately noted them down. One of them happened to be this long-titled isekai romance with a title I couldn't even understand. The poster of the anime didn't really peak my interest but I noted it down anyway.

The first episode aired and then the second one, the third one.

I was hooked.

"I'm the Villainess so I'm Taming the Final Boss" or Akulas for short hooked me from the first episode. The opening, the ending, the story, the MC and of course Claude, the Demon King, played by no one else than Umehara Yuuichirou.

What I'm trying to say is that Akulas introduced me to Umehara-san and I couldn't be more grateful. The tone of his voice? The raspy and velvety sound of his voice? Hearing him talking about how he wants to spoil his then fiancee to the rotten, just made me shiver. I had to look him up.

And that's where it all started...and now I feel like a teenager again, who fell in love with the boy who offered her his pencil because she forgot hers in the other backpack.

And when I looked him up it truly felt like home..somehow. I loved everything about him, his face, his style and his movements. His mannerisms and the way he talks in interviews. His calm demeanor and the way he says "Oi" when things get awkward around him. The way he forces out a laugh because he is out of energy and just wants to synchronize with the others. His weird humor and vulgar words that has 0 correlation with his personality. But I love that honesty.

I tried to clean up this photo of him since it's one of my favourites so far. I know it's the 1000th time I'm mentioning his beauty, but can I do it again? And again?

In the back of my mind I hope that one day I will meet him.

And in the deeper corners of my mind, a part of me wishes that "me" would never existed and another "me" would emerge, one who is closer to him.

I'm pretty sure we all love our idols, or seiyuus in this case, but didn't you ever wish you can be friends with them? See them everyday? Talk to them about their daily life. Or just be there to see their career take off?

I will always have Umehara-san in my mind and heart because he truly makes he happy. He offered me so much peace in a time where i felt angry, sad and lonely. I loved the sound of his voice, it made my heart tremble with happiness.

I want to meet him and I want to see him in real life.

But most I can do now is to support his career and watch it as it blooms. So far he has a few roles confirmed for 2023 which is great! I will name a few that come at the top of my mind.

Spy Classroom (main character)

Revenger (main cast)

Ayaka (main character)

The Reason why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion (main character)

More of them to be confirmed. We will be very luck if we get him in Jigokuraku or Jujutsu Kaisen. He could do a great Toji. Or we get even luckier and get him as the main character in My Happy Marriage.

No matter what kind of character he will play, I will be there to support it, watch his lives, save his pictures, think about him when a love song starts playing and talk about him just like I did now.

And as I'm entering the conclusion for this little essay, I want to bring attention to the fact that he is also in a band!

It's called Sir Vanity and they have an album out! Go check it out and stream it. Their genre is rock and a very good one. Some of the tracks have been written by Umehara himself and surprise, surprise he writes about break ups. He can sing really well and guitar too. The other 3 members are talented as well so please support them! They will have a new song out so please follow their social media! They have an official Twitter account.

So, as I'm typing my final words I'm hoping that you, my dearest reader, had the patience to at least read a bit about Umehara. Maybe you will end up loving him as much as I do.

I will link now some of the social media that might help you learn about Umehara-san a bit better.

Yuuichirou Umehara official Twitter account: https://twitter.com/UmeuMeumE_Y?t=9QDkhFiESomsDnCogENQkg&s=09

Sir Vanity Official Twitter Account:

https://twitter.com/SirVanity?t=gv29iHmsGz3LUZ5_UcuKqw&s=09

Sir Vanity official YouTube channel:

Sir Vanity official Spotify account so you can officially stream their album and other songs:

His "Behind the Voice Actors" page so you can see more of his roles:

His radio show "Hyrotto Danshi" with Nishimya Koutarou:

"Saturday Machiavellism Night", Umehara's radio show:

And you can follow @/umeupdates for daily posts, news about Umehara on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/umeupdates?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

That was all! Thank you for reading.

[lees-chaotic-brain]

Ahhh tysm for the tag Ann! I haven't done one of these in a while!

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing

Um. It's actually quite simple.

1. Get idea

2. Tell you guys about it and promise I'll write it

3. Sudden burst of shiny new wip motivation! Write between 100 and 1000 words

4. Forget about shiny new wip for months, only remembering it when someone goes "hey, what happened to that fic you said you were going to start?"

Or alternatively,

Lose all motivation to write and blatantly lie to people by telling them I'm working on it when I haven't even clicked into the doc tab in weeks

5. Suddenly remember it/regain motivation and swear to all of you that it'll be out that day/week

6. Not finish it by when I said I would

7. Spend three consecutive sleepless nights writing it in my head as I do things I don't even need to do, not typing a single word until I reach a state of semi-consciousness and have transcended the reach of procrastination (this is also how I go about writing essays and doing important assignments)

8. Finally sit down and write it

9. Post! That is, if I don't accidentally save it to drafts instead of posting and forget about it for another month or so

That's it! If you can't already tell, I have adhd lmao

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Depends on the fic tbh. Sometimes I just go with vibes, and sometimes I'll have been working the idea out in my head for some time. But most of the time I just jump in with no idea what I'm doing and post it when I feel like it's reached it's natural ending.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Again, depends. I have a ton of different playlists so it really just depends on what I'm feeling at the moment. If I'm writing a song fic I listen to the song on repeat, and when I'm writing I tend to lean more towards quiet indie songs but I also will write listening to the most random things so idk.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

Tea. Tea tea tea tea tea. I LOVE tea. Just ask @cheesypuffkins87

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

That's so hard, what? I have so many that I like, and I honestly can't pick a favorite. (I also hate everything I've ever written on some level but that's a completely different story)

If I HAD to pick one, it would probably be Attractive with Yuuji just because i love the crack.

But i'd say two close seconds are Quiet with Inumaki (i love me some angst) and "No. You're Not." with Megumi because reader is so me coded lmao.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

Oooh probably Call You Mine with Nanami. I didn't mention it in the above question because I was going to add it here, but it's definitely in my top five, if not maybe even my top three.

If not the above one, then Can't Help Falling In Love With You with Gojo. I just really liked this fic and would love to see it get some more attention!

Do you have any advice for new writers?

Literally just what Ann said. If you get an idea, write it!! You never know what's going to happen. I posted my first silly little idea a little over a year ago, not expecting anyone to notice it only for it to get well over 500 notes on it's first day. Now I have over 500 followers. And even if that doesn't happen, that's okay because someone out there read it and enjoyed it <3

On top of that just be gentle with yourself. It's okay if you go months without writing. It's okay if your fics don't get as many notes as other people do. It's okay to take a million years to finish a request. You're only human :)

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Probably using less verbs and having more variety in my sentence structure. Also smaus, because I feel like I have some ideas that would EAT, but I lack the capability.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Not really. Maybe Toji? I thought I wouldn't enjoy writing for him, but in the one fic I wrote for him (You and I) I actually had way more fun than I thought I would!

No Pressure Tags: @m-ilkiee @romantichomicide95 @crescentmoontsuki @batterygarden @pseudowho

@kimkaelyn @writingcroissant @seireiteihellbutterfly @kimkaelyn @andypantsx3

@irisintheafterglow @ponderingmoonlight + whoever wants to join!!

Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie <3

thank you @sunshinebingo for tagging me ily pookie 🥹

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing

sleeping. like thats the first step. i sleep a lot and i love it. before i fall asleep, i obvs am in my delulu lala land thinking about either my future husband or my fics and og books. from there i think about the weirdest unrealistic plots and then i keep thinking about them so i can remember them in the morning.

and then i write after im done helping with house chores and my work. i usually post the thing as soon as its done or shcedule it lol

(or in case of my og books, i keep em there hehe)

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

pantser 😭 but recently ive been trying to become a plotter. wish me luck 🥲

What do you listen to when you are writing?

anything i can think of lol. sometimes its kpop, sometimes japanese or arabic songs. sometimes sabrina and taylor, sometimes skz and new jeans.

i usually add random songs i can think of in my playlist i listen to while doing chores, and then i continue listening to thos songs while writing.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

nothing tbh. water ig? i need to go get my new stock of capri sun tho ive been dying to have my stock refilled 😞

(gonna find some way to whisper in my dads ear that i want caprisun and it will be at home lmao)

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

cursed is something i love a lot because that plot is like. auasadh so good. also my i didnt ask for this series. its so close to my heart my god its my child. my baby 🥹

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

to love and cakes it took me months to write kinda but like. its a lucien fic and its 10k long lmaoo what did i expect. but its also my baby i love it heheh

Do you have any advice for new writers?

WRITE. THAT. DUMB. IDEA. YOU. THINK. NO. ONE. WILL. READ.

👏🏻WRITE👏🏻IT👏🏻

almost all of my most loved fics have been ideas i thought no one would care about enough to read. and then the morning after i posted them, id wake up to people telling me how much they loved the fic and end up with me sobbing because everyones so lovely 🥹

also. people can sometimes be mean. 👏🏻IGNORE👏🏻THEM.👏🏻 ignore them the way you ignore maths when studying.

ive seen so many new talented writers either stop writing or lash back out at these clowns, but you need to understand that replying to these people who are just trying to get a rcton out of you is not worth it. your happiness matters more. put yourself before them and ignore thei comments if it hurts you. that will prick their egos more than you arguing with them.

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

i kinda wanna learn how to describe rooms. that bitch truly be bitin my ass 😞uh also how t write poetically kinda

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

honestly, maybe lucien. i only ever thought about writing for batboys when i had begun but then i fell in love with him and i couldnt stop writing about him 🥹

tagging: @bubybubsters @separatist-apologist @assassinsblade @animezinglife @acourtofladydeath

@daycourtofficial @lucienarcheron @sapphicmsmarvel @berryzxx

@riddlesb1tch @throneofsmut @throneofsapphics @tadpolesonalgae @writingsbychlo

@fieldofdaisiies @moonlightazriel @harrystylesfan2686 @mika-no-sekai-blog

@itsphoenix0724 @lyssasdrafts @flickering-chandelier @lees-chaotic-brain

@hellcat8908 @ceoofyearning @potatoplace

[psychewritesbs]

Megumi’s FULL name reveals a lot about his character. It captures his kindness, his energy, but also his inner darkness--the kind of darkness that al lot of people in the fandom are speculating will drive him to become a sort of villainous figure in Jujutsu Kaisen.

But, in order to REALLY understand Megumi, you have to understand the basics of how Japanese uses its three alphabets differently from English’s one alphabet. 

Yes, Megumi meaning “blessing” is a huge deal, but I think his last name is just as important.

Here’s why...

TLDR at the end

I can’t really explain who Megumi is without understanding a bit about kanji and how it’s used, so feel free to skim or skip to the end of the essay.

But if you find Japanese culture as a whole fascinating, then read on.

How Written Japanese Uses Kanji

What I’ve come to realize about kanji is that it’s “literally” a symbol meant to represent a concept. For example, 目is the kanji for “eyes” and is meant to symbolize and look like an eye.

But the way Japanese uses kanji gets complicated (at least for me) when a particular kanji can both represent a concept (as in the example above) AND be used to make a specific and completely unrelated syllable.

Like seriously... the fuck.

A notable example can be found in Your Name where Taki writes a note on Mitsuha’s notebook asking her who she is.

Taki uses the kanji 前 which means “previous” but is also associated with the syllable “mae” to say “o+mae”, the informal way of addressing someone. I thought it was a curious detail that Taki does this instead of spelling out “omae” with either katakana (オマエ）like I’ve seen most manga do) or hiragana until I realized it was most likely a deliberate choice on Makoto Shinkai’s behalf. 

Similarly, we already know Megumi’s name means "blessing” because it’s a big part of the plot. Especially in relation to it’s opposite: “noroi” or curse (呪) the anime’s central theme.

With that said, a lot of people are rightfully confused about Megumi’s name because of his resentment towards his father as he mentions in episode 5. 

Is Megumi a girl’s name?

The whole issue with Megumi’s first name is that the kanji for “Megumi” is primarily considered to be a feminine character. From doing some research I  understood that you can have a “Megumi” name for a male but you would use different, more masculine kanji. 

I’m assuming sort of like in the "o+mae” example where you could use kanji that represented the syllables for “Me+Gu+Mi” or any such combination like “megu+mi” and “me+gumi”.

Similarly, you might have noticed that in a lot of anime, characters introduce themselves and sometimes there is mention of the kanji characters used to write their name.

An example of this is the name Shiemi. There are several ways you can combine kanji to spell that name, but one combination uses the kanji for aspire + blessed (which is also Megumi’s kanji character) + beauty (志+惠+美 ). 

Ready to make this more complicated?

You can also spell Shiemi with the kanji for “aspire”, “bloom”, “laugh”, “poetry”, etc.

This is a very creative take on name meanings if you ask me.

In other words, this is how Japanese people give their children “meaningful” names the way in the US someone might name their child “Matthew” because they perceive them to be a “gift of God” (the name’s meaning).

The fact that the kanji 惠 representing the concept for “blessing” was chosen for Megumi Fushiguro’s name, however, speaks a thousand words in much the same way kanji represents concepts. 

The reason Toji did not care about Megumi’s gender when he named the baby he was about to have, was because to Toji, who came from a cursed (呪) life, Megumi, and the life he had with Fushiguro-mama, was the embodiment of a blessing (惠) . 

To be honest, however, it is his last name that I am most interested in breaking down. That one doesn’t get as much attention and I think is just as important for his character.

The reason being is that I suspect it is Megumi’s last name which embodies the reason why Sukuna is so fixated and fascinated with Megumi.

Fushiguro and the darkness within

I believe it is in an interview or perhaps the fan book that Gege Akutami talks about Itadori, Kugisaki and Fushiguro all being plant names. 

That being said, yes, Fushiguro is a tiny wild flower endemic to Japan.

But as with the naming convention rules I shared above, the story the kanji in his last name tell goes beyond the flower symbolism. In fact, I believe the name of the flower is not spelled using these kanji (but I could be wrong).

TLDR...

Fushiguro is made up of two kanji. 

“Fushi” (伏), which means to bend or bow down + “guro” (黒), which means black. However, it is safe to say that this last kanji can also mean “darkness” since it is used in that word as well.

Taken literally then, I am assuming Megumi’s last name to mean “bow down darkness”.

Bow down + Darkness + Blessing.

Symbolically speaking, you could say that his last name is sort of paying homage to the darkness within. Ironically, his first name is such a beautiful homage to receiving gifts for which we feel grateful. This is consistent with how Megumi sees the world in black and white terms sometimes.

And if you really think about it, Fushiguro is also a clever play on words for his cursed technique being shadow based.

But more importantly, his last name reminds me of Megumi going feral while fighting the Yasohachi cursed spirit. 

I think one of the reasons feral Megumi is so popular is because he took us by surprise. His character trope is the cool and collected deuteragonist after all.

I’m not sure anyone imagined that he was repressing such a blood thirsty...

manipulative...

sadistic beast within.

It makes me wonder whether it is a matter of time before Megumi gives himself over to all of his inner darkness, bitterness and resentment (cursed energy). 

And perhaps that is exactly what Sukuna sees in him. Throughout the manga there is quite a bit of mirroring happening between Megumi and Sukuna (example). 

Personally, I am wondering whether Sukuna sees a younger version of himself in Megumi and that is why he is so interested in both keeping him alive, and his growth as a sorcerer.

So, what do you think? Lots of theories about the Sukuna x Megumi dynamic, so I am always curious to hear what other people have to say.

As for me... I have to go adult. 

[misfitgirlwrites]

Commission Page!

Commissions are: OPEN

1k words: $15

2k words: $25

3k words: $35

600 word max: $6

Ways to contact me: DMs (right here on Tumblr) | Discord: MisfitGirl | Email: misfitgirlwrites3390@gmail.com

I will write NSFW (18+)! Look under the cut to see what fandoms and characters I write for along with what you need to include when sending in a commission along with payment methods.

I take commissions to write for:

Hazbin Hotel - this includes

Alastor Altruist

Lucifer Morningstar

Velvette

Helluva Boss - this includes:

Blitzø

Stolas

Striker

Jujutsu Kaisen - this includes:

Gojo Satoru

Geto Suguru

Ryomen Sukuna

Nanami Kento

Fushiguro Toji

The Joker - this includes:

Heath Ledger’s Joker (The Dark Knight)

Jerome Valeska (Gotham)

Jeremiah Valeska (Gotham)

Arthur Fleck (Joker)

I have not written anything for John Doe (Batman: The Enemy Within) or Batman: The Animated Series Joker but I will if asked! I no longer write for Jared Leto’s Joker.

Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji - this includes:

Sebastian Michaelis

Claude Faustus

Ciel Phantomhive*

Alois Trancy*

Grell Sutcliff

Mey-Rin

Finnian

Barldroy

Marvel - this includes:

Yondu Udonta

Loki Laufeyson

Miles Morales*

Erik Killmonger

Hunter x Hunter - this includes:

Hisoka Morow

Chrollo Lucilfer

Leorio

Kurapika

Gon Freecss*

Killua Zoldyck*

Illumi Zoldyck

Meruem

Uvogin

Feitan

Castlevania - this includes:

Alucard/Adrian Tepes

Trevor Belmont

Sypha Belnades

Isaac

Hector

Gotham - this includes:

Victor Zsasz

Barbara Kean

Tabitha Galavan

Fish Mooney

Pairings I’ll do:

Reader x Character

OC x Character

Character x Character

Personalized Reader x Character (this one isn’t generalized and more specific; your name will be used, your description, etc.)

Themes I’ll do:

Fluff

Angst

Smut

AUs

I WILL write yandere! But yandere commissions and stories will be posted on my yandere blog (@ohdarlingohsweetheart)

What I won’t write:

Any name with a mark after it is underage. I will not be writing anything sexual with them unless they are aged up and even then nothing with other characters that are already an adult (ex: Gon x Hisoka *cringes*)

Speaking of Hisoka; no pedophilia!

No incest

No watersports/scat/all that good stuff

What to give me if you are commissioning:

Reader x Character

What character you want and their name (you can list more than one if that’s what you want!)

If the story you want will be SFW or NSFW (if NSFW please tell me what exactly you have in mind; like kinds and all that good stuff)

An explanation of what you want (can be brief, but the more detailed you are the better!)

Theme

Word Count

OC x Character

Now’s your chance to rant about your OC because I am all ears! Give me a lengthy bio! Describe their appearance! Send me pictures! Hell, you can even tell me their zodiac sign!!!

The character you want your OC to be paired with and describe their relationship! (are they friends? Classmates? Just meeting? Already dating? FRENEMIES?! I wanna know what’s already in your head!)

If the story you want will be SFW or NSFW (if NSFW please tell me what exactly you have in mind; like kinds and all that good stuff)

An explanation of what you want (can be brief, but the more detailed you are the better!)

Theme

Word Count

Character x Character

The character(s) name(s)!

If the story you want will be SFW or NSFW (if NSFW please tell me what exactly you have in mind; like kinds and all that good stuff)

An explanation of what you want (can be brief, but the more detailed you are the better!)

Theme

Word Count

Personalized Reader x Character

This can be as personal as you want it to be!

I would need your name and a brief description of you! Your personality, what you like, what you look like, etc. You can give me a whole essay, I want to know! And if you feel comfortable sending a pic, please do that! Honestly, if you have a sona, you can use them as well! It would fit here or as a OC x Character :)

The name of the character you want! (it can be more than one)

Describe your relationship with the character(s)! (are they friends? Classmates? Just meeting? Already dating? FRENEMIES?! I wanna know what’s already in your head!)

If the story you want will be SFW or NSFW (if NSFW please tell me what exactly you have in mind; like kinds and all that good stuff)

An explanation of what you want (can be brief, but the more detailed you are the better!)

Theme

Word Count

600 Maximum

This will be $6 no matter what!

It will ONLY be reader x Character

SFW or NSFW is fine

It has to be a general request since it’s short! (so like a scenario or one specific thing you want to happen)

Payment:

Either all up front or half upfront then the other half after I’m done your commission. Your choice :)

Payments can be through PayPal (paypal.me/chynalowe) or CashApp ($ChynaLowe)

We you want a story over 3k words or a multi-part story then we can talk price and see what happens

No refunds after story is done!

If something happens and you get a refund before your story is finished, the story will be dropped and I’ll move on to the next one!

[fuwushiguro]

Hii Venus,

How have you been doing? I haven’t read your latest kinktober fics yet, bc I’ve been kinda mia for the past few days, but thank you so much for putting out so many amazing stories. Every-time I get a notification I get excited and if I don’t read it right away I’m just saving it for lates, so I can just dive in and forget about everything around me. The creativity, originality and the way you capture some of my faves is really outstanding. This is my first time actually reading kinktober fics so it means a lot to me that I can explore all these new things and actually enjoy it. It needed to be said how amazing you’ve been doing!

Also do you have any tips for fics that are basically finished, but the ‘finish in touch’ is just never showing up… I’ve finished this Toji fic weeks ago and I just need to do a final check and I just can’t seem to do it. I love the story and everything, but to just sit down and check it feels too draining every-time I try it😪

Sorry for this essay, but you do inspire me with your works everyday. Can’t wait to catchup with the rest of your fics. Have a great day🥰

Hi Shell!! Let me do a cut so I don't clog people's dashboards hehe

I've been up and down honestly but I'm doing the very best I can each day I suppose 🥴 how are you my love?? Hope you're taking care of yourself! But don't apologise for being behind on fics you're under no obligation to read so if you don't have time you don't have time. If you don't wanna read them you don't have to but if you do that's really cool and great but don't force yourself 💕

But your compliments!! My heads gonna explode baby omg!!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying my kinktober stuff. I've not had my blog for a year yet so this is my first ever one and I was so nervous and apprehensive and super paranoid so I'm really pleased it's going down well. And to receive such high praise? I'm so grateful to you, thank you 🥺

But in terms of finishing off a fic, it's hard to be satisified sometimes! There's times I write something and I'm like "this is the worst thing I've ever written" and then I don't look at it for a while and I'll come back and be like oh this is actually good. I'm super critical of myself though I hate complimenting myself I just have a really high standard for myself. So I know you said you finished a while ago but maybe do a read through again and maybe something will spark your inspiration to help finish it off! Also you could always ask a friend or someone to read over and give their opinions that could help too!! Sorry if this isn't helpful gf;skaj

But don't apologise for an essay I love long asks 😇 feel free to tag me in whatever u write I'd love to read if you ever post that Toji fic, you know das my mans!! (only if u wanna tho) look after yourself and good luck with your writing angel 💘