#THE CROSS TABS LITERALLY HAVE ME SO ANGRY?????? FUCK YOU ALL????

[roseband]

lmfao the only minortity demos that didn't fall for the propaganda were jews and black people the rest of you are dumb as shit and deserve what you're getting.

(we're really not escaping the "god's chosen people" meaning "chosen to do the dishes" allegations)

anyways jews went more to harris (78%) than biden (68%) and you all can eat me :)

[actualbampot]

Untitled Biker AU WIP

Paring: Cinder Fall/Ruby Rose Trans character with gender-neutral pronouns

Summary: Cinder is an ex-bike gang member trying hard to stay on the straight and narrow. Ruby is a reckless delivery driver on a rickety moped. They collide. Literally. AN: I'm posting a WIP because I'm bored of seeing this unfinished in my docs. Take it, god please. If you want to see art related to this: LINK LINK -

Ruby swallowed down a metallic taste.

She had been to a few bars, sure. Sometimes an in-town local for a solitary sunday lunch between her delivery shifts. Others, a popular spot in the upper-city blaring with colorful strobes and upbeat music. This was a little more…rustic than she was used to.

Ruby glanced at her surroundings. For better or worse, it took a while to notice how the poorly air-conditioned building heightened the stale tinge of old booze. Worn upholstery seats that had undoubtedly suffered more than a few drunken fights were dotted with dubious blotches, while underhand, a mahogany-stained bar top left behind the sticky residue of one too many spilled drinks.

Tinny acoustics drifted from one corner of the room, not sure if she could chalk it up to the ancient-looking jukebox, or if everything was just a little garbled right now. 

All were things that sat somewhere in the backseat of her mind, slotted behind a firm wall of arctic adrenaline, hands and feet pulsing with an aching cold.

Her legs wobbled like viscous jelly, the beginnings of pain springing somewhere in the background, even if she couldn’t quite pinpoint where yet.

Maybe opting against the hospital, and agreeing to jump on the back of the very motorcycle she'd rear-ended wasn’t her finest moment. It was more a question of which one she could afford. 

“Just give me the back room for a few-” "And pay off another peeler to ignore whatever shit you've just walked into my bar again? Do you think I'm made of money?"

Trying not to listen in on the heated conversation went about as successfully as expected: A dive bar in the dead of the afternoon didn’t exactly provide Ruby with many distractions. Trying hard not to listen in she squirmed uncomfortably. The leg that was raw red and exposed between her decimated jeans bounced on the footrest of her bar stool. 

"It’s not like that. Not this time. I know I messed up the -"

"Two-thousand that i'll never see again,” Hissed a woman with an accent so far flung that Ruby was having trouble keeping up, “A bull in a fucking china shop is what you are, Cinder."

"Fine, not in the back- out front. Just till’ she's fixed up, then I'm out of your hair."

The sidelong glance Ruby couldn't help taking saw a thoroughly unimpressed frown as the angry woman shifting her weight, arms crossed. The sheer size of Cinder- that was their name- in comparison to the two others was staggering. 

However it wasn't hard to deduce that this was something of a routine. 

"She just went into the back of me.” Cinder urged, and something told Ruby that these two were not used to hearing the truth. “That’s it, I swear. C'mon C."

Flanking the angry woman who Ruby summarized to be the bar owner, The shortest of the three had stood, silent and assessing up until now. 

Intrinsic ink stretched over broad shoulders and thick arms that were crossed in a similar fashion, blooms of watercolor spinning life among sleeves of flowers and skulls. 

They leaned in, muttering something into the ear of the woman, C, who then looked up, over her shoulder and directly at Ruby, a pinpoint blue glare melting into resignation.  

"I expect money to cross my counter,” C finally announced after a moment, “and then I want you and her out, you hear me?"

-

"Thanks for that, A." Cinder said, and it earned a narrow stare.

“Didn't you rip the centerpiece off the roof,  and beat someone with it last time? On top of that you conveniently forgot to pay your tab before the police arrested you. So no, I didn’t do it for you.”

"Hey, he was a big guy. And I thought you hated that tacky chandelier?”

"I did. But she loved it." Candidness chased a flicker of affection warming in the bartender's eyes, as they watched the owner, C, flitting around the room cleaning tables in an angry frenzy. 

Ruby thought It was kind of endearing.

"Looks like you could do with something stiff."

Ruby snapped to attention when she realized A's statement was directed at her. There was an easy, non-threatening kind charm in their expression that eased the intensity in the room.

Ruby skimmed the menu above the bar. Her orders had forever been whatever tooth-rotting drink was on the menu, typically topped up with so much caffeine that she could feel her hand vibrate on the throttle of her scooter during the drive home.

But perhaps this time the bartender, A, was onto something. Anything to steady her shaking hands sounded good right about now, and considering how much of a mess she must have looked right now it wasn’t like she’d be driving anytime soon.

"Have you maybe got Tilt? Or, uh, Dragon Soop?"

Ice clinked against glass, a low chuckle emanating from the bar stool beside Ruby. A tumbler of rich amber was tipped back between a shrewd, air-chapped grin, drawing Ruby to the warm color of her company's eye, alight with glinting amusement. 

"What?" Ruby grumbled.

When the barstool next to her creaked under a shift of weight- a lot of weight- Ruby was trying not to look at Cinder. Which was very difficult.

“Another old-fashioned, A. And a coke for soft-boiled here.”

“I hate coke.” She didn’t, but she did hate the absolutely crippling loss of control she was experiencing right about now. 

It wasn’t even about crashing her bike anymore. No, that was just the beginning in a string of poor decisions.

 She was no expert, but the kind of patches littered on the leathers of a biker that was as broad as they were intimidating gave away particular gang allegiances, even if Ruby couldn’t be completely sure what most of them meant. 

And of course, she had to T-bone the back of one of them. 

The next was arguably not her fault, and started somewhere around the point she’d been scraped off of the ground, bleary and disorientated. She hadn’t quite realized that instinctually obeying the gruff request of ‘Hold On’ meant that her torso would be pressed to the rider’s chest, or that she’d be bodily carried under her thighs by a single arm.

Ruby didn't remember a lot about the walk other than it feeling like an eternity, not really thinking about the fact that she’d probably hit the ground some ways from wherever her vespa ended up, but that she was clung to a complete stranger like a stupid koala.

From there, it only got worse. 

When she'd been placed on the tail seat of a large cruiser, Ruby remembered the proud throb of a v-twin engine thumping low in her breast.

 An armored glove holding her face had kept her firmly centered while answered a few basic questions among the static.

3 things came to light: She had no money on her, her scroll and wallet were nowhere to be found, and the broad tower of leather above her was utterly intimidating. 

As if bearing the sight of them-of Cinder- *without* all that leather wasn’t bad enough, the fact that it had been thrown around Ruby was even worse. 

That heavy jacket hadn't moved from Ruby’s shoulders since the accident, though the surrounding weight was comforting, holding her together where adrenaline would see her shaken to pieces. Something about the smell eased her nerves too, old leather and tobacco sitting above the cutting smell of engine oil. Ruby was silently glad she hadn’t given it back yet.

“So are you going to tell me your name? Or do I have to wait for the invoice to repair my bike?” “It’s Ruby. And you already know I don’t have any insurance.” Otherwise she’d probably be sitting in A&E right now, not in this sweltering hole in the wall. 

A returned shortly with both drinks, a bottle of coke with the cap intact and a bottle opener passed Ruby. A thin, knowing smile was offered with no prompt for payment before she and Cinder were left alone again.

Ruby didn’t question it and popped the cap anyway, until Cinder chimed in: “In case you think one of us is packing benzo’s.”

“I didn’t think that.” Ruby countered immediately.

“Maybe not, but I can tell that an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is setting off all sorts of alarms between your ears right now.” 

That she couldn't argue with. 

“C has a temper like a banshee. And A could probably put me in the ground if I deserved it. But they’re good folks. Better than most.”

"Can I..uh..ask about the letter thing?" Ruby said after a moment.

Cinder shrugged, "You can ask."

Ruby didn’t, raising the coke bottle with a trembling hand and taking small, conservative sips. Her stomach was still full of knots, but admittedly the sugar was helping. 

Polishing off a second glass in moments, Cinder sank forward on her stool, a curious, solitary eye burning heat in Ruby’s face. 

She imagined its twin and missing left arm had all met the same fate; A stub at the epicenter of scar tissue consumed the entirety of one side, reaching across from beneath an oil-stained tank to color Cinder's face and chest like a jagged, broken web.

Despite that, Cinder was far, far thicker than Ruby first gave credit for, a stacked physique hidden beneath perforated leather when Ruby's trashed Vespa had been dragged off the road, dumped it on the sidewalk like it weighed nothing. 

The stool next to Ruby made a creak of relief as Cinder stood, and Ruby's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when watching them sink to one knee. The hand around her leg was so large that Ruby’s ankle nearly disappeared under Cinder’s  grip, rippling warmth felt even through her sock. 

Angling Ruby’s leg a little towards the light, it was the first time she’d really acknowledged the state of herself: The road rash looked gruesome, raw red from calf to thigh with gravel and god-knew-what-else was caught in her skin. Her arm stung too, but she’d taken the worst of the fall on one side.

Her jeans hadn’t stood a chance against the road, mangled around her leg as Cinder lifted pieces of it away from her skin with shocking gentleness. It stung like heck, but it wasn’t responsible for making her cheeks warm. 

“Could have been worse.” Cinder commented while Ruby burned under the inspection, “Could have been better.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ruby muttered, in case it came out in any way breathless. Cinder moved her foot, letting the sole of her shoe press on the top of a very broad thigh. Reaching for a back pocket, Ruby stiffened at the click of a pocket knife snapping free from its handle in Cinder's hand. 

If Cinder noticed the tremble in her knee she didn’t react to it. The blade must have been kept sharp, watching as it sheared through the denim with barely a tear until cool metal kissed Ruby’s thigh. 

Cinder leaned forwards, body pressed into the motion of the slice in the absence of another hand to steady the fabric. They smelled just like their jacket, burning oil and smoke with a stronger hit of cologne, grounded and spiced and so good that it made Ruby’s mouth dry up.

A complete stranger had a blade between her legs and she was thinking about everything except how dangerous this whole situation was. Typical.

“It means you scooter drivers end up as a statistic because you think you’re too good to wear some basic gear.”

Pursing her lips together and swallowing hard, Ruby tried to look anywhere that wasn’t the rolling flex of her broad shoulders. “I deliver takeaway for tips. What makes you think I can afford real riding gear?”

“Fine. So what were you doing?" Cinder asked, "Fucking around on your scroll?” Oh god. The way the cuss rolled low off the tongue like it was part of the sentence shouldn’t have been so..so..

"I told you I don't know.” Ruby grimaced, gripping the sides of her stool like a lifeline. “I just- I was distracted."

“The bike goes where it's told to.” 

That was the first lesson the instructors had drilled into her and around half a dozen greenhorns taking their basic motorcycle training. Sure, she’d had some close calls before, a few angry shouts thrown her way when in hindsight, one maneuver or another hadn’t been her smartest move. She’d always scraped through. Barely.

“Must have been one hell of a distraction. I’m pretty hard to miss.”

Cinder’s voice was low and smokey, flashing Ruby a lazy grin that showed a glint of metal teeth. The bridge tracked back from a sharper incisor, probably lost by whatever had claimed the rest of their left side, and it wasn’t attractive, didn’t fill heat in Ruby’s cheeks like a jug. 

"Thought I hit a pothole to be honest." The knife circled just a few inches above the knee, shearing from Ruby's inner-to-outer thigh. "Leg up." Cinder said.

[thebardisabird]

Hey Barb, How about some Chibita and Tougou interactions. I always wanted to see what kind of dynamic they would have

Hmmmm. So my take on Chibita and Tougou ever interacting in the -san universe is probably hell in a handbasket. For all the shit Chibita gives the sextuplets, at the end of the day he considers them friends (really more like frenemies but whatever) so I imagine if Tougou came back around it would not bode well for him lol. Their dynamic is probably like "It's on sight when I fucking see you because of what you did to me." I can definitely see something like he shows up at Chibita's oden cart and it's like that cartoon-y lightning strike of realization between the two of them. Tougou recognizes him as the snotty kid who fucked up his plans to kidnap Osomatsu and Chibita, being an adult now, recognizes him as the guy who terrorized the Matsuno family, but specifically Osomatsu. Now normally, Chibita would probably not give a shit, act like he doesn't remember anything and let Tougou go about his business due to them not paying the tab or pissing him off recently - but there's memories lingering in the back of his head about how Osomatsu cried everyday and was terrified to leave the house for a long, long time after Tougou so he can't in good faith do that. Plus knowing how much stress that would put on Matsuyo and Matsuzo as well as his feelings of being snubbed as a kid being dredged up are now actually starting to make him angry.

He probably shouts something like "Was I not good enough for ya, ya damn idjit?!" and dumps scalding hot broth on Tougou's head. Which in retrospect doesn't make much sense because why would he have wanted to be kidnapped? But it's the principle of the matter to Chibita and he is irrationally pissed that he got shafted all those years ago. Now if Tougou happens to get a knife out to try and attack him, that only makes Chibita angrier, who will then proceed to swing his ladle around in hopes to land a hit. It's a literal brawl at Akatsuka Park if these two cross paths. Should Tougou happen to get away, Chibita beelines it to the Matsuno family house (his good deed for the year, he tells himself), immediately letting them know that he's back and is probably going to come for them again. Now how that goes down...is another story entirely.

[cloveswifey]

Forget

Pairings: Sarah Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings: suggestive smut, arguing, swearing, crying, teasing, kissing, birthday forgetting.

Type: Angst - Fluff - suggestive smut

Words: 1.1k

Y/n and Sarah had been dating for a little over a year, and things had been going well. Of course, they had their ups and downs, but they always managed to work through their issues.

However, there was one issue that they just couldn't seem to get past: Sarah had forgotten y/n's birthday.

It wasn't that Sarah didn't care about y/n, but she had been going through a rough patch at work and had been completely consumed by it. She had barely had time to think about anything else, let alone y/n's birthday.

Y/n, on the other hand, had been looking forward to her birthday for weeks. She had planned a big celebration with all of their friends, and she had even taken the day off work so they could spend it together. But when Sarah didn't even acknowledge her birthday, y/n was hurt and angry.

The argument started off small, with

y/n asking Sarah if she had remembered what day it was.

Y/n asked in a soft tone, "Babe, what's the day today?"

As Sarah remained engrossed in her phone, y/n's irritation mounted.

"Sar," y/n repeated, seeking her attention.

Sarah looked up, barely noticing y/n's presence and asked, "Hmm, what's up, baby?"

Suppressing her annoyance, y/n took a deep breath and asked, "Do you know what day it is?"

Sarah chuckled, clueless, "Um, Wednesday?"

Y/n couldn't believe that Sarah had forgotten such an important day.

Y/n let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head in disbelief. "Seriously?" she muttered, causing Sarah to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"What?..."

"It's April 15th," y/n said, her voice tinged with disappointment, as she stared down at her feet.

Sarah furrowed her eyebrows, still not understanding the significance of the day. "What's so special about th—" she started, but her words trailed off as the realization hit her. "Shit," she breathed out.

Sarah tried to explain that she had been under a lot of stress at work, but y/n wasn't having it.

"I haven't forgotten, I've just been under a lot of stress!" Sarah argued defensively.

Y/n let out a sarcastic chuckle and shook her head. "That's literally the fucking definition of forgetting," she said, not buying Sarah's excuse.

She felt like Sarah didn't care about them or their relationship.

"It's like you don't even care anymore!" Y/n yelled as Sarah scoffed at her statement.

"What? Is work more important than me now? Huh? Is that it! Works more important than me your own girlfriend." Y/n chucked.

The argument escalated, with both of them saying things they didn't mean.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief. "I bet you're screwing some whore back at the office, because that's what sluts do," she accused, her anger boiling over.

Sarah's eyes widened in shock and hurt. "Fuck you, y/n! That's not fair and you know it!" she cried, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Y/n wasn't having it. "No! What's not fair is my own girlfriend forgetting about my birthday," she fired back.

Sarah scoffed, crossing her arms defensively. "Oh, like you're some saint!" she retorted. "You're a needy bitch. Always demanding and expecting shit! Using my fucking credit card."

Y/n let out a scoff of frustration. "I don't want your fucking money!" she exclaimed. "You keep shoving it down my throat! Every time I try to pay for something, you slap that black Amex down before I can even get my wallet out. So don't act like I'm some gold-digging whore who only dates you for free shit!"

Sarah's jaw clenched as she replied, "Then let's see how you do without the free shit. The constant restaurant dinners, the Ubers downtown, putting all your drinks on my tab, the way you just happen to remember you need gas when I'm in your car. We'll fix that issue real quick," she shouted.

They both knew that they were saying things they didn't mean, but they couldn't seem to stop themselves.

Y/n let out a scoff and turned to face Sarah, "What’s that supposed to mean?" she asked, looking into her eyes. But Sarah seemed distraught, tears streaming down her face.

"We're toxic, can't you see it? Look at us, we're falling apart," Sarah said with a shrug.

Y/n couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Are you saying you want to break up?" she asked, her voice trailing off as she looked down at the floor.

Sarah quickly shook her head, "No, no, that's not what I meant," she said, reaching out to touch Y/n's arm. "I love you, but we need to address our problems. We argue about the smallest things, like your birthday for example. We're better than this."

Y/n let out a sigh and looked up at Sarah, who lifted her chin up with her finger. They both knew that something had to change if they wanted their relationship to survive.

Y/n leaned forward and pressed a small kiss on the corner of Sarah's lips, "I love you too," she murmured.

However, Sarah chuckled, “you missed” and took hold of Y/n's cheeks before smashing her lips against y/n’s.

Their tongues slowly intertwined as they kissed, with Sarah's breath lightly tickling Y/n's cheeks.

As the passionate kiss intensified, Y/N and Sarah stumbled their way towards the living room.

Breaking the kiss momentarily, Y/N pushed Sarah onto the couch and straddled her waist before locking lips again.

With both tongues engaged in a playful battle for control, Y/N's hips began to move quickly, creating a pleasurable friction against Sarah's body.

Eventually, they pulled away, realizing that their fight wasn't worth it.

"I'm sorry, I love you so much," Sarah said as their foreheads rested against each other.

"I love you too, and I didn't mean what I said," Y/n replied, giving Sarah another light peck on the lips.

Despite Y/N's initiative, Sarah had a different plan in mind. She flipped Y/N over and resumed kissing her passionately. It became evident that the couple was in for a long and steamy night together.

Together, they made a promise to communicate better and be there for each other no matter what. Although they weren't perfect, they were willing to work on their relationship and make it stronger than ever before.

[marigoldbaker]

ok so like it's been a hot minute since i watched season 2 but i've always felt like… jenny did nothing wrong? not even in a Fave Defending way? like this isn't about anyone's in-universe reaction but i feel like a lot of people, even jenny enjoyers, say she still did a Fuckup and should be sorry, even while acknowledging it wasn't her fault and buffy/giles' anger was unjustified. but what did she even fuck up really?? her only crime is a lie of omission! what good would it have done anyone for her to tell them the truth? it's not as if she was really double-crossing them. she was actually on BUFFY'S side by not doing anything about their relationship, like she was actively going against her family for their benefit and most importantly she didn't know about the trigger. and you can hardly blame her family for wanting to keep tabs on the curse when everyone is fully aware how brutal angelus was. and she immediately tried to undo the damage that SHE DIDNT EVEN CAUSE (i know they didn't know that at the time on the show but for the broader context? and i think it's clear she even cared more about having hurt buffy rather than about maintaining the curse simply for curse reasons) idk i know i'm an overly forgiving person but hello?

as much as i would love an alternate version of the show where jenny lives, it could've also been a Really Good death if they had allowed it to resonate. give me buffy desperately trying to make peace with a dead woman in season 3.

and on that note, sorry to say so many things but this just popped into my head lol- idk if you've talked about this before but if jenny had lived, how do you think she would react to angel coming back/buffy seeing him in secret? because everyone else was so angry. (true giles was mostly angry because angel had killed jenny, but maybe say angel had tortured her/severely wounded her or something? to get a similar degree of Giles Mad for arguments sake?) do you think she'd be pissed off about it or overcompensate with supporting buffy out of guilt or what? 😃

hglshkhlshlsgdk this is such an unpopular opinion that i have to water it down when i suggest it, but i actually completely agree with absolutely everything you're saying. there is this constant perpetual narrative that jenny did something wrong and should have told them, but sheeeeee really didn't there! she had absolutely no relevant information that would have stopped angel from turning. there has been the half-suggested supposition that the scoobies finding out jenny was there would have prompted them to ask questions as to Why she needed to be there, or that it was jenny's responsibility to ask more about the purpose of her mission, but, uh, giles also has a mission with some questionable ethics going on and we don't see him questioning the higher-ups until season three! she has an ingrained sense of loyalty to the people that raised her, and from her perspective, she's just watching some guy and reporting back to her uncle. definitely some foresight would've been USEFUL but her lack of investigation/independence, while dumb as hell, isn't the catalyst for the angelus stuff & it's doubtful that that could have stopped it anyway. like. even if they knew about the happiness clause, there was always the possibility that buffy and angel wouldn't have realized that sex with buffy would make angel truly happy! and MY POINT IN ALL OF THIS is that just trying to frame jenny as At Fault requires the same kinda supposition that i'm throwing around now. the same kinda ifs-buts-maybes. there really wasn't anything she could have done to change what happened.

and like you said, she was straight-up team buffy from the get-go! the very first scene we see is her going "sure yes i'll take buffy away from angel" and then she makes one halfhearted really bad attempt and completely gives up? and can that even be called an attempt? like she was making a VALID POINT, literally who else was going to be able to take the judge's arm safely to nepal or tibet or wherever? but the show treats everything she does as if she's some disney villain when what she's doing is actually just kinda...trying to figure out a way to make this work for the people she loves. (and the framing is deliberate! the sinister music that shows up whenever jenny's doing Sinister Things that actually are literally never sinister. looking at u, surprise party invitation.)

so yes i completely agree. the only crime jenny committed was being a smart confident lady, which she obviously had to be killed for, because no adult woman on btvs can be smart AND confident AND morally upstanding AND alive all at the same time. you get two. jenny just barely gets two and a half so she comes out ahead.

also -- hm! hate to say it, but the thought that immediately comes to mind is jenny kinda considering herself too low on the totem pole to actually have the right to say she's not comfortable being around angel, especially after everything that happened in the previous season & how things were left between her and buffy. i think that giles would pick up on this really fast and be cosmically fucking horrified by this. like maybe during the intervention the scoobies poke jenny to try and get her to say she's not comfortable and she just totally demurs and draws into herself and that very likely makes buffy feel Even Worse About Everything. (maybe jenny's critically low self esteem post passion in an au where she lives is something i'm seriously thinking about as this watch continues, because i really don't think you can go through a whole month of the people you love--both blood family and chosen family--just cutting you off and treating you like dirt without feeling like you're not honestly a part of the team. blowing a little kiss to @hal-1500 because something good TOTALLY GETS THAT imo.)

[psychedellic-phase]

Princess (smut)

A/N: I feel like this is definitely out of character but it literally would not leave my brain. also yes they are so toxic !!! I binge wrote this at 1 am so I hope you enjoyyy

tw: arguing, cursing SMUT! Oral (male receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, cheating & toxic relationships.

word count: 4.6 k 

masterlist

It was Thursday. I knew I’d find him where he usually is on Thursdays: that corner table at O’Malley’s, the one below the neon ‘Corona’ sign. 

I went most Thursdays, when I could, and sat at a table across the bar. It was the perfect place to watch him have two whiskeys, neat, and go home alone. 

He hadn’t noticed me yet. It’s not like I looked different, I still looked like me but he looked better and better every time I saw him. 

Was it weird to watch my ex-boyfriend that I swear I’m over from across a bar? Yes. Do I have a loving boyfriend at home waiting for me to come home every Thursday? Yes. Am I lying to this boyfriend? Yes. Am I completely over my ex like I say I am? Clearly not. Am I completely insane? Definitely. 

It’s not my fault though, Spencer Reid just had to be all consuming. Addicting. Intoxicating. A human black hole who I’d happily fall back into any given day, but he couldn’t know that. It would just feel his already overinflated ego. He could never know about how all my thoughts revolve around him. Maybe he isn’t a black hole, maybe he’s the sun, and I’m just a planet spinning around him. 

Every Thursday I tried to get up the nerve to go say Hi. And every Thursday I managed to get up the nerve the second he paid his tab and left. 

But today, that was going to change. I was going to do it, just say Hi. It shouldn’t have been scary, I did spend six months of my life with him. He knows me, much better than I’d like to admit, and I know him. But he always knew how to make me twitch. The man could make me nervous, and men never make me nervous. No one ever makes me nervous. 

I watched him as he sat, his hair longer than it had been when we were together. His suit looked the same, so did the gray cardigan and maroon tie. I vaguely remember having that exact tie around my wrists one night. He used his beautiful fingers to trace the rim of his cup, his brown hair covering his eyes lightly. His eyes, brown but hazel, like a golden green, with beautiful eyelashes I was always jealous of. They’re so long, he looks like he has mascara on.

Wait his eyes. 

Eyes?

Shit. 

I had made direct eye contact with him. 

He saw me. 

I saw him. 

Fuck. 

And now he’s walking. Towards me. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Here he is, right in front of me. God he’s so hot.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I just stared at him. He slid the chair across from me from out under the table without asking permission. He sat in it, whiskey in hand.

“So what exactly have you been doing here every Thursday for the last eight Thursdays, Y/N?”

I blushed lightly, but kept my composure. He knew how to make me nervous but I knew how to make him sweat. 

“O’Malley’s makes the best cosmos in DC.”

He shifted in his seat, fingers drumming on the table, “It’s a mediocre cosmo at best. You’re here for me. So here I am.”

I sat up in my seat, “Mediocre cosmo, and mediocre company.”

“Mediocre?” He chuckled darkly, “If I’m so mediocre then why have you been watching me?”

Of course he figured me out, he’s a goddamn FBI agent. God I was stupid sometimes, but only with him. It’s like every time he spoke, half of my brain flew out of my head. 

“Honestly, there isn’t much else to look at around here,” I gestured around the dingy bar, “And also, it’s been way longer than eight Thursdays. You should brush up on those observation skills, Dr. Profiler.”

His eyes darkened, “You never answered my question, Princess.”

I shuddered at the use of that nickname. I hadn’t heard it from him in a while, I just hoped he couldn’t see the effect it had on me. I evaded the question again, “The better question is why do you come here alone each week like clockwork?”

He shrugged, “Because you’re here every Thursday like clockwork.”

My mouth fell open slightly. He thought about me. I was weirdly proud of myself for that. He continued, “What? You think you were the only one watching? Please.”

I scoffed, “Then why wait so long to come over?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

I bit my lip, a dull flame forming in my belly, “I don’t come over because I have a boyfriend, and it would be inappropriate.”

He smiled, showing his beautiful white teeth, “Well that’s a lie.”

“It’s true!” I was offended. He acted as if another man would never want me, like the colossal pain the ass he always is.

“No, no, I believe the boyfriend. But the threshold of what is appropriate was passed when you lied to him for weeks just so you could get a good look at me.”

He was right. I did lie, about a lot of things and mostly to myself. God, why couldn’t I just love the nice guy? Why was it the infuriating, sexy, genius who I found myself in quicksand with?

“Stephan knows where I am.”

Another lie he’d see right through, but I didn’t care. I’d lie through my teeth if that meant that he would keep talking. God, how I missed his voice, his stupid, arrogant, beautiful voice. 

Spencer looked at me straight in the eyes then, “Does he princess? That’s sweet.”

The condescension in his voice was palpable.

“You’re still so passive aggressive,” I said, leaning back in my chair to create space between us. He leaned forward, eradicating the space I just created. 

“Yet you’re still here.”

I stood up then, feeling like the tension between us could suffocate me, “I’m getting another round. Neat?”

He nodded, “Make it a double, I think I’ll need it.”

I walked over to the bar, finally getting some air. I was already so hot, and it wasn’t from the packed bar. It was from the way his eyes looked through me, the way he said my name, the way he said ‘Princess’. I regained my composure and sauntered back over to him. Game on, Pretty Boy. 

“So how’s what’s his name? Steven?” He said, taking his new drink. 

I rolled my eyes, “It’s Stephan, but you knew that. You know everything.”

He chuckled cockily, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, “Well, how is Stephan?” He said the name with a fake posh accent, forcing me to hold back a laugh. 

“He’s wonderful,” I responded, twirling the mini umbrella from my drink between my fingers. Spencer’s dark eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, reading me like a book. The same way he always had. 

“No he isn’t,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Wh-,” I groaned, “Spencer, I swear he’s great!”

“You haven’t gotten any better at lying.”

“And you haven’t gotten less infuriating.”

“Infuriating? Me?” He was mocking me now, I crossed my arms in defense, hoping maybe he could read that body language, and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. 

God why did he have to be like that? How did he always know exactly which buttons to press? And why did I like it? Why was I on fire from the moment he walked over?

“You were infuriating for the six months we dated, three years ago, and you’re infuriating now.”

He shrugged, “But you still like it. Some things never change, Princess.”

I blushed, knowing he was right, but not wanting to admit it, “I don’t like it. I hate it.”

He moved his chair closer to me at the table, so close I could smell him. He smelled the same way he did those years ago, and I had the same reaction. Thank god I was sitting; he made me so weak in the knees.  

Snap out of it, Y/N. I ordered myself, Think of Stephan, yes. Stephan, beautiful, boring Stephan. 

“Stephan isn’t infuriating,” I said, trying to ignore the way he licked his lips when he looked at me. God, I wanted to feel them against me. 

“Oh really? What is Stephan like?” Spencer said, using air-quotes around his name, disgust dripping from each syllable. 

“He’s nice.”

I avoided making eye contact, knowing full well how Spencer could see every lie I was about to tell. It wasn’t that Stephan was bad, he was just so, painfully, boring. If cardboard was a human being, it would’ve been Stephan. 

“Nice? That’s all?” Spencer said it with an air of amusement. 

“Well, he’s an accountant and he’s thirty-one.”

Spencer leaned close to me now, his breath smelling like whiskey and tickling my cheeks as he spoke, “Those are facts Y/N, I want to know what he’s like. Is he good to you? Does he make you happy?”

I gulped. There were the nerves. I was starting to twitch; his specialty. 

“He’s wonderful. He’s charming. I couldn’t ask for a better man.”

Spencer leaned back, crossing his legs and drinking some more, waiting for me to continue. 

“My parents love him. He’s smart, and handsome too.”

Spencer scoffed, “Your parents loved me.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well, he actually calls when he says he will, unlike you. Also unlike you, he’ll open doors for me because he isn’t scared of germs. He also doesn’t correct me every time I misspeak, instead he tells me I’m beautiful, and smart, and funny.”

We fell silent, both looking angry and defensive. He always could get to me like this. My body was hot and angry and so was his. He looked so good, it actually hurt. Could his lips be any pinker? Could his jawline be any sharper? 

“I’m waiting for the ‘but,’” He said, taking me out of my head for a moment. 

“But?”

“Yeah, what’s his fatal flaw Y/N?”

“Flaw? He has none. He’s literally perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yes!” I snapped. 

“No one’s perfect. What’s his flaw?” 

“None!”

Spencer kept badgering me, “What is it? Tell me, Princess. Tell me. Tell me what it is, you know you want to.”

It felt like a dam that was inside me had been broken, water and the truth pouring out at once, “He isn’t you!”

Spencer leaned back and smiled, “There it is.”

“Stephan is kind and gentle. We don’t scream, or fight. I don’t stay up crying and yelling and cursing! But he isn’t you, and I wish he was.” I gasped for air, not realizing I hadn’t been breathing, “There! Are you happy now?!”

Spencer was grinning, just like usual, “Very.”

I rolled my eyes, “Your turn.”

He raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself, “My turn?”

“Yeah, why have you been alone the last three years Reid? We both know you can have anyone in this place. Hell, Red over there has been eyeing you up for the last hour,” I gestured to the girl a few tables away who had been stealing glances at Spencer. An action that totally didn’t make my blood boil, at all, not even a little. 

He avoided my gaze now, “You know why.”

Now I had the power back. I got close to Spencer, so only he could hear me. All my reservations were gone, I was in the black hole. The fire in my body that I hadn’t felt for so long was finally back, “I want to hear you say it.”

He got even closer, lips barely a millimeter apart, “Just like he isn’t me, no woman alive will ever be you.”

I smiled, proud of the confession. I pulled back. As much as I wanted him right now, right here on this sticky bar table, I am no cheater, and though I forgive, I never forget. 

“Another difference between you and Stephan is that he won’t break my heart.”

Spencer smirked, “He can’t break your heart, because you feel nothing for him. There’s no love to lose.”

I sighed and ceded, “You’re right.”

“Always am.”

A comfortable silence followed, and my head was spinning. I don’t know if it was from the cosmos or from Spencer. He tended to do that to me. We both had softened. I was sad, because I knew it would never work. As much as I wanted it to, it wouldn’t. It didn’t three years ago. I just needed to live with it. You need more than passion to make it work. Hell, if all you needed was passion, Spencer and I would be growing old together right now. 

“This isn’t healthy, you know?”

Spencer nodded, all aggression faded away, “I know.”

“This will never work.”

“I know.”

“No I mean like never.”

Spencer gave me a half smile, “You don’t have to convince me. I know.”

I sighed, reaching out to hold his hand in the most platonic way possible. His skin was warm. I missed the way it felt under mine. 

“I just wish it would.”

He smiled sadly now, big brown eyes meeting mine and looking through me into my soul, “So do I, Princess.”

I laughed, “And stop calling me princess!”

“Or what, Princess?” He said it flirtatiously, his hand squeezing mine.

“Or I won’t be able to stop.”

“Stop what, Princess?”

“Stop myself from kissing you right now.”

He leaned in, lips barely an inch apart again, “Then don’t.”

And with that our lips touched softly, before we parted. The kiss was familiar but foreign. I’d felt it a million times before, but this one was different because the feelings were different. We stared at each other, before I stood, holding his hand. 

“Follow me,” I said, the fire in my belly mixing with the delightful throb in my core. All reservations were gone. I needed him. I needed him right now, or I felt like I might explode. 

He held my hand as we maneuvered between the crowd and ended up in front of the bathroom.

“Bathroom? Y/N there’s so many germs that’s-”

I had to cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him into me. Our lips found each other so easily, like second nature. His were soft but chapped, I missed the way they felt on the rest of my body. I pulled him into the stall, and he pressed me up against a wall. His rough hands roamed my figure, landing on my hips and squeezing there. I pressed my hips into him, relishing the feeling. My hands found his hair, tugging at the roots to beckon his mouth open. He obliged, tongue moving across my lower lip and tangling with mine. Every movement sent twinges of pleasure to my core. 

When we broke apart, he looked at me, his light brown eyes seeming impossibly dark with lust, the same darkness that they held just minutes before. 

“Please, bedroom, not here,” He begged, and I silently agreed, peeling myself off of him.

I dropped a fifty on the table before stumbling out into the street for a cab. His hands never left my body, and his lips found mine every chance they got. 

In the back of the cab he was on top of me, squeezing the flesh of my butt as I left butterfly kisses and sucked on his neck. 

We showed up to my apartment, and ran inside. He pressed me up against the elevator door.  “Princess, I need you,” he whined, making me moan into his lips.

“Soon, so so soon, fuck.”

I fumbled with my keys, but soon we were inside.

“Bedroom,” he ordered before crashing his lips against mine again, this time even more feverishly, if that was physically possible. I stumbled backwards in the general vicinity of my room, not wanting to break apart from him for even a moment. He pressed his large hand into my back, steadying me for a moment and took his lips off mine. 

I whimpered, immediately missing the warmth of him on me. 

“Lead the way, princess.”

I smiled wide at the use of that pet name. It always sent an extra jolt of pleasure to my center when Spencer whispered it. 

Grabbing his hand I found the bedroom door. Before we even crossed the threshold his hands were on my body again, this time under my dress looking for panties to peel off.  

“No panties? Were you waiting for this Princess?”

I nodded and groaned as I kissed him, moving my lips down and across his sharp jaw, flicking my tongue out every once in a while and sucking lightly on spots. Just enough for him to moan, but not enough for a mark. I felt my knees hit the mattress of my bed and I fell back onto it, Spencer towering over me. 

I pulled my dress off, throwing it and my bra far away. I needed him to touch me. Now. 

His hands were cold on my chest, making my hardened nipples even harder. He pinched the buds lightly, making me arch my back into his body. 

He snickered, “Patience is a virtue, Princess.”

I groaned and pulled at his shirt, telling him I wanted it gone. 

“Too many clothes,” I mumbled against his chest as I kissed whatever skin I could reach. He did as I wished, and I sat up on my elbows to watch. His muscles contracting as he pulled it off was enough to force me to rub my thighs together, desperate for any feeling. He undid his belt too, letting his pants fall to the floor and stepping out of them. His boxer briefs left little to the imagination, not that I was complaining. The light gray material was darkened in one spot from where his precum was dripping. 

“Come back, Sir,” I begged.

His hands were on my shoulders and pushed me back so he could be on top of me again. The feeling of his chest against mine was maddening. I could also feel his member on my thigh, so close to my dripping heat, but still so far away. He distracted me with another kiss, his teeth coming out to bite my bottom lip. I moaned at the slight pain, running my hands all over his bare back. He worked his way from my lips to my jaw, leaving butterfly kisses in his wake. It drove me wild. I was bucking up into him, nails digging into his skin, sure to leave pretty red marks in their wake. He then made his way to my ear, sucking on the lobe ever so slightly. 

“You know, the ears are an under-appreciated erogenous zone,” he said between nibbling and sucking on my ear and the skin around it. 

“S-Spence,” I let out a breathy moan. Everything he did sent me reeling, clawing into his back begging for more. He really did drive me insane. His hand was back on my breast now, one arm was holding him up while the other pinched and played with my nipples. 

As he kissed and sucked the soft skin of my neck I did the same to whatever skin I could reach. I sucked on his shoulder, right where it meets the collarbone, appreciating how his skin was a little salty. 

I took one hand from his back and slid it between us, reaching down and toying with the waistband of his boxers. 

“Princess,” he moaned right in my ear as I reached in and pumped his hard cock twice, flicking my thumb over the tip to smear around his precum. 

He sat up, kneeling on either side of my thighs and I took that as my chance to pull the boxers down just enough for the pink head to bob out. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, his skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair was covering his eyes, sticking to his forehead in some parts. He gave you a slight nod, and I sat up, immediately taking my tongue from base to tip. 

He took in a sharp breath as I took the tip of my tongue into the slit at the head of his cock, collecting what had formed there. It was salty, but I didn’t mind. The taste was familiar. I selfishly went down to lightly suck on his balls, squeezing the one not getting any attention with my free hand. He sighed, hands tangling through my hair, tugging at the root. 

I pushed on his stomach, “Lay down, I want to suck you right.”

I didn’t need to ask him twice. In a matter of moments I was straddling him, taking the head and sucking on it gently. 

“Fuuuck,” he whined, “You give the best head princess.”

I smiled around his cock as I took it inch by inch into my mouth. My hands took whatever I couldn’t fit and I started at an agonizingly slow pace. Speeding up as his grip on my hair got tighter. 

He moaned in approval, a slew of curse words and praises I could barely hear. I was just focused on swirling my tongue around his cock as he buried it in my throat. He bucked his hips in an attempt to face fuck me, and I allowed it. The head brushed against the farthest point in my throat, causing me to gag, saliva dripping down the sides of my face. 

“You look so pretty when you gag on me Princess.”

I hummed around him in pleasure, toying with his balls again, begging him to cum in my mouth.  Hearing him moan just made me more of a mess. 

He tugged on my hair slightly, “No way, I’m cumming on those pretty tits.”

I smiled up at him and wiped off my mouth. Spencer caught me in another kiss, this one much more loving and tender than the previous ones. He cupped my face and stroked my cheek. 

His free hand came between my bodies in the same move I had used on him, this time his lithe fingers rubbing my clit lightly, but only for a moment. 

The kiss deepened into a full on teenage make-out, our naked bodies grinding against each other. I had never been so desperate in my life, wetness dripping down my thighs. His hands were on my ass, pinching and squeezing. 

“Touch me,” I begged between kisses. 

“Lay down Princess.”

We swapped positions again and I moved up the bed to lean on some pillows. 

He kissed me, hand moving deftly to my aching core. He took the tip of his middle finger and swiped between my lips. 

I shuddered at the touch, but it was taken away so quickly. 

He leaned to my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin as he placed that same finger in my mouth. I sucked on it greedily, “So wet for me already Princess.”

He nipped at my ear lobe again, causing me to buck my hips up at him. He put his face just over mine, looking deeply into my eyes as he took one finger and put it all the way in. 

I groaned happily at the contact, closing my eyes to savor it. 

“Eyes open. Watch me.”

I opened my eyes, just as he added a second finger, curling them to find my g spot. I opened my mouth to moan but no sound came out. The pleasure of him in me was rippling throughout my touch-starved  body. 

“More Spencer, please ah- fuck- more!” I yelped. His free hand came up to my breast, kneading it and my nipple again. I moaned louder, more guttural this time. His fingers never stopped even as I clawed at his skin. My nails dragged along his back and my eyes never left his. 

If my eyes looked anything like his, then they were clouded with lust and immense pleasure. 

“Spence—“ I gasped as he added his thumb to circle my clit. 

It felt intoxicating, like I was high on all the drugs at once. The vision of his perfect face went black at the edges, that feeling I missed so much forming in my stomach. He’s the only one who could give it to me.

“Use your words Princess,” he cooed, flicking his tongue between his lips. 

“D-Don’t stop I’m close.”

He took this as a signal to go faster, his hands moving in ways I  didn’t think possible. His thumb rubbed rough figure eights over my clit that was slick from my own wetness. When my breathing quickened and I tightened around him he knew I was close, leaning in to kiss me gently as I rode out my orgasm. 

I moaned loudly into his mouth as the rubber band snapped, tingling and pulsing around his fingers.  He coaxed me through it, milking me for everything I had. When he removed his hand and licked me off of his fingers, I whined. I needed something to fill me up; I  needed him to fill me up. I felt so empty without him there. 

“Want me to fuck you, princess?” He asked, his hands coming up to brush the hair out of my face. 

“More than anything,” I managed out, still feeling delirious from the first orgasm. 

“Your wish is my command,” and with that he placed his tip inside of me, moving slowly to allow me to adjust to him. 

“Ah fuck,” we both groaned simultaneously. 

“You’re so tight,” he muttered, finally filling me to the hilt and waiting for my signal to tell him to start. 

“Fuck me, Spencer Reid, fuck me like you mean it,” I burst, and he did. 

At first he started slowly, only moving a few inches in and out. I jerked my hips up, wanting to feel more. He thrusted in and out of me wildly, his hair bouncing with every motion and sweat dripping down his face. 

I relished every movement, using my hands to tangle through his hair and my lips to suck on his neck as he leaned over me. He withdrew almost completely, then pounded back into me, the pain causing me to hiss. 

The room was filled with primal, animal-like moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin. I reached up and put two fingers in his mouth, which he licked with gusto knowing exactly what I was going to do with them. I mimicked his rough figure eights on my clit, wanting to cum with him. 

“I’m close princess,” he panted, “Can I cum on those pretty tits?”

I just nodded, unable to find words as we climbed the mountain to our orgasms together. After a few more strokes he pulled out and brought himself to his orgasm, cumming all over my chest with a sigh. He flopped down next to me, overexerted. I continued circling and my own orgasm came seconds later and much less intense than the one he had given me prior. 

Spencer stood up and grabbed a few tissues, wiping the fluid off my chest. When I was cleaned up I snuggled up against him, face to face. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” He panted, still regaining his breath. He gingerly moved some hair from my face.

I sighed, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you?”

He smiled, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you too, Princess?”

Saying those words again took the weight of the last three years off my shoulders, but deep down I still had doubts.

“We won’t work.”

My voice cracked and tears were threatening my eyes.

He kissed my cheek, and pulled me against him, “We don’t know unless we try and I promise to be less infuriating this time, Princess.”

I turned so our lips met, “So let’s try.”

[gxccistyless]

Fine Line: The Divorce Series - part two.

In case you missed part one you can find it here. Feedback always appreciated in any form. Feel free to message me if you have any questions!! 

Trigger warnings for this include; mentions of death, drug and alcohol abuse. 

It’s ten passed twelve when Eliza opens her eyes for the first time, she hadn’t slept a good nights sleep since Fallon’s diagnosis but last night she didn’t wake not once.They had her funeral yesterday, she doesn’t remember much, she thinks this is probably partially why she was able to sleep so well, knowing that Fallon was finally resting at her forever home. Harry helped to organise the funeral and had been more available to both her and their other two children in the lead up to it and insisted in paying for it in full. But yesterday was too much for him, he left somewhere between the wake and the kids’ bed time and Eliza hadn’t heard from him since.  Harry woke up in his apartment for the first time in weeks, he’d be living at Eliza’s in the spare room from the time when things got to be too much for Eliza to handle on her own. He missed his bed and the peace and quiet, but he’d never allow himself to say those words out loud. Right in between losing her and laying her to rest, they celebrated her birthday. Gemma thought it would be a good idea to acknowledge the day instead of pushing it to the side, Harry just kind of wanted to push through and try and get through the day, but Eliza liked the idea of being able to blow out a candle for Fallon and so to appease his ex-wife’s needs and support her through her grief, Harry bit his tongue And they did just that, celebrated her. 

elizadoherty 4 years ago you made me a mama sweet angel baby Fallon. I miss you, thanks for changing my life 🕊 Liked by harrystyles, niallhoran and 12,378,346 others,

 The funeral came around quicker than he had anticipated, it kind of crept up on him. After today things would go back to the way they were before Fallon got sick snd Harry wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. He wasn’t ready to be away from Koa and Lennon, or even Eliza for that matter. Everyone was so wrapped up in supporting Eliza on the day, they had forgot that Harry had lost a child too. So distracted by Eliza, no one noticed Harry when he slipped out in the middle of her wake, no one but Eliza.

There was no communication between the two in the weeks that followed, he locked himself in the studio with only a select few people and she was trying to get back to somewhat of a normal routine with the twins. He was making good progress with an album, it wasn’t as upbeat as previous albums had been but it just reflected what he was going through and how he was feeling. With no communication and his lack of interest in their other two children Eliza goes ahead and books a court date to finalise their divorce. Harry is leaving the studio when he gets words of the court date being set, he heads straight to the bar.  Harry is on his sixth drink when he finally gets a hold of Eliza. I miss you he tells her We just lost — we just — how can you even be thinking about finalising our divorce. She cries and that’s when he knows he’s fucked up. Eliza don’t cry, I’m sorry, I’m such a fuck up, it should have been me, not her... Eliza knows she should hang up the phone, call Gemma let her deal with him and go back to bed. Instead she asks Harry for his location, calls a sitter and by the time she heads to the bar its almost 10pm. 

Eliza finds Harry in the corner booth, away from prying eyes and away from windows with his back toward the rest of the people in the pub. By now he’s lost count of how many drinks he’s consumed. She orders herself a scotch on the rocks. The bartender looks between her and Harry and wonders what they must be going through to have lead them here tonight. They sit in silence mostly, Harry throwing back three drinks in the time it tasked Eliza to finish the one she ordered herself when she first got here. The bartender draws a line in the sand and cuts Harry off, he pays for his long bar tab remembering to ask the bartender to include Elizas scotch on the rocks and then he goes to leave. 

Harry makes it all the way to his car before realising he cannot find his keys. When he reaches the bar door she’s standing out front her arms crossed over her chest,p. You didn’t think I’d let you drive home in your state did you?  My children have already buried their sister this year, I’m not about to let them bury their father too. The words Eliza said to drunk Harry would play on sober minded Harry in the weeks to come. She half carries him to her car and takes him home with her. For the first time since they split, he sleeps in the same bed as her it’s only so I know if you stop breathing and to make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit. Eliza watches Harry breathe for the rest of the night, much like she watched Fallon take breaths in and out until she took her last, the only difference here is that Harry never stops breathing. Somewhere between 4am and 7am she doses off and Harry slips out of her sheets and out her back door before she’s awake. Eliza canceled their court date again, realising that perhaps Harry needed time to grieve before they started to go down this path.

harrystyles ALBUM . IS. COMPLETE, Coming to you soon, happy holidays. All the love, H xx Liked by annetwist, gemmastyles and 20,368,289 others. 

Harry finished writing his album just before Christmas, it was literally the fastest album he’s ever been able to write. After all this time and experience, he knew the people he needed in his space to get the job done. A lot of the songs were sad, and Eliza knew that some songs would be about her and she fully expected some songs to be about Fallon, so when he turned up at her place to show her the demo she was surprised to find no songs about their angel daughter. Eliza, that’s sick that you’d think I’d cash in on — no why would I — I can’t believe you would think that. He was angry, didn’t see she was coming from a good place and not trying to attack him. She didn’t think it would be a bad thing if he had written songs about Fallon, she was growing concerned about his abilities to deal with the loss of their daughter... he couldn’t even say her name.  He was trying to be more consciences to spend more time with Koa and Lennon. With the album complete it was only a matter of time before his management would undoubtedly have him on the road and all over the globe. Truthfully he was dreading it. He spent most afternoons putting the children to bed before bedding back to his house. He noticed things about her that were different in the Fallon aftermath. She was lonely at night, and when Koa and Lennon were out with him of an afternoon she had not so much to do. She had already organised the bookshelf, and the kitchen. Harry knew what the perfect Christmas gift would be to keep her busy. 

Whilst she had redecorated the lounge and her bedroom. Fallon’s room remained untouched, the door closed and the room just the way their almost four year old had left it the day she left for the hospital and never come home. Sometimes when he would finish putting the twins to bed and when Eliza was sleeping on the couch, he would sneak into Fallon’s room and sob. Being in her room was the only time he allowed himself to feel anything.

elizadoherty Happy holidays from the Doherty-Styles household, wrangling two and half year old twins into a photo is hard work and this mama couldn’t get it done. Please enjoy a photo of our delicious cookie “nomies” that are absolutely not store bought. 😝🎅🏻🎄🤶🏻 Liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 2,637,367 others.

harrystyles ELIZA X OLIVE. Merry Christmas.  Liked by elizadoherty, olivedogherty and 18,573,663 others,

Harry’s album came out the week of Christmas. With the new year there would be lots of changes coming for both him, Eliza and their two children. He would be off on tour, first to the states then, back home for a UK stint, followed by the rest of Europe, then to South America wrapping up with Australia, New Zealand and a few dates across Asia. He wouldn’t be home for more than two days in the next nine months. This bothered Eliza. Partly because she wanted him to be home so they could finalise the divorce, partly because she wouldn’t have his help with the twins and mostly because he had already lost one child, had he not noticed the importance of having quality time with his children.  She had already been annoyed by the fact that he had bought a dog into her home and gifted it to her for Christmas, she didn’t have time for a dog.. she would barely have time for herself and the two kids he was leaving behind to go on tour, and he though a doh would be a good idea?

Her thoughts all come to a head in the middle of an argument on New Years Eve. We need to finalise the divorce, we both deserve to move on. He didn’t want to move on, he liked being able to come by see her, and the kids and still be able to know she was legally still his wife. You don’t care about me and the kids, you’re not even going to see them for the next nine months, don’t tell me you care. He was mad, not because she was right but because he wanted to see them but didn’t know how to ask her to join him on tour with them. I never wanted to divorce you. You’re the one who filed for divorce Eliza. It’s Eliza’s turn to be mad. Well there was no hope for our marriage, we hadn’t had sex in months, you were sleeping on the couch, what the fuck kind of marriage is that. It wasn’t a healthy argument for the tel of them to be having, especially with the twins in the next room. I was a drug addict Eliza, I was also an alcoholic, I couldn’t really walk up the stairs, that’s why I slept on the couch not because I didn’t love you. He had stormed out, the following day he had booked in with his lawyers to come back the last week of February for their court date and two days after that he was back on tour.

harrystyles USA thank you for being the perfect start to this tour, you were all so beautiful! I’ll be back soon. All the love, H xx. Liked by annetwist, gemmastyles and 27,627,855 others. 

January rolled by faster than she would like to admit. Harry was back in London briefly to see the twins, Anne picked them up and took them to him as per his request. His birthday was tomorrow, Eliza offered for him to keep them for the weekend whilst he was in town, but he had other plans and declined her offer. She’s trying to give you time with your children. Anne nagged him, but her words fell on deaf ears. He had plans to drink his way through his birthday and not be able to recall any of it.  He woke in the morning to a voicemail from her. Harry, happy — well i know it’s not happy really — but happy birthday. I’m sorry about the divorce papers, I was... reaaaaalllyyy dumb. Anyway, see ya. She had been drinking, she could never hold her liquor. He remembers back to a time pre marriage and pre children when she would go out and have a few too many cocktails and call him from the bar, he remembers driving to fetch her, pulling over on the side of the road because his driving would be too much for her stomach to handle. He thinks about the way he used to hold her when she was too tired to walk and then the way he’d hold her in bed as her breath would steady and she’d finally succumb to the effects of the alcohol and sleep. God he loved her. 

elizadoherty HBD to my #1 (And only) bb daddy, @harrystyles, you’re a great dad, friend and I’m so glad I get to raise my babies with you. Here’s a throwback to when we were younger and when you had less wrinkles, old man.  Liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 18,257,268 others.  He made a mental note to return her the favour of nice words on social media when her birthday would roll around come summer. They were younger and happier in that photo. He wouldn’t wish his kids away, but he does wish he could go back to being that happy, young and carefree guy in the photo. 

After his birthday, things continued to go downhill for the two of them and their co-parenting endeavour. It started when he was photographed leaving a nightclub with a random girl on his arm the night of his birthday and things escalated when a week before their court date she had been photographed with someone new. This was the first time since the two of them had started dating all those years ago that they had been photographed with someone else.

TMZ 

Harry Styles ex-wife, Eliza Doherty, spotted out with new mystery beau shopping over the weekend.

It was the comments left the photo that sent Eliza into a rage. “Where are her kids?” “Spending all of Harry’s alimony I guess” that’s all the end of their marriage was to the public? Just about money? Never mind the emotional turmoil either of them had gone through, the sleepless nights the days where she wouldn’t know if he would make it home. The public didn’t understand, and never would, what it wad to be like Eliza Styles.  On top of the public ridicule, Harry of course had to get his two cents worth in. I don’t want you bringing random guys around the twins. It was a harmless comment and something she would surely say to him if she didn’t have manners or any kind of belief that he would be responsible with who he introduced their children to. Focus on yourself, Harry. And less on who I’m bringing home..

TMZ

reports of Harry Styles and ex-wife, Eliza Doherty, heading into court today to finalise their divorce after almost a year snd a half. He wore a black shirt and a cross earring for the occasion. 

Harry was trending on twitter and the photo and article from TMZ were attached to every tweet. Most people agreed he didn’t look himself. Everyone agreed it was inappropriate to take the photo and then post it to the masses but here it was for everyone to see. Eliza shook her head and put her phone away, soon enough she’d be in the same room as him for the first time since New Year’s Eve. 

 She had never been more scared to see him, hadn’t heard from him personally for the entire first leg of his tour, which even when they were having problems was odd. Perhaps he was still angry,  she had moved passed the anger stage and into the sad stage pretty quickly, it had been like this throughout their entire relationship. She would get over things quickly whilst he would hold onto things for days and days at one time. Harry knew based off of her voicemail that she had been ready to move passed the argument on New Year’s Eve, and he was almost on the same page as her and then they argued about partners and children and things had again been sour since. 

As soon as the time drew closer she began to feel like she couldn’t breathe. Like she might collapse at any second and never wake up again, like someone had taken all the air out of her lungs and out of this building. She used to enjoy the way her heart would skip a beat and the way her lungs would lose all the air when he entered her orbit, but now the feeling made her sick to her stomach. For the first time in a long time she couldn’t stand the thought of being in the same room as him. 

Part of him didn’t want to be here. This was partially to do with the fact that last night he had drank his body weight in alcohol, was very hungover and couldn’t think straight, but it was mostly to do with the fact that he couldn’t stand to see her cry and knew there was a good chance with the way they left things off that he might be the reason for her tears. 

He reeked of vodka and scotch and tequila and definitely weed, at least that’s all the things that Eliza could smell as he sat across from her. He was using again, or drinking again at the very least. It made her sad, he had worked so hard to get to a good place. Perhaps this was his way of coping, his way of dealing with Fallon dying. His way of forgetting about his problems. It wasn’t healthy, she’d make a note to talk to Gemma and Anne when she got back to the kids later in the afternoon.

He looked as if he hadn’t slept at all since the last time she saw him some five weeks ago now — which would make sense because she hadn’t slept properly in that long either. His shirt was creased and it was a mess, he looked unkempt which was a rare sight. Mismatched socks, untucked shirt, the pants he was wearing just as creased as his shirt was. His hair was longer than usual— he was letting it grow again... was this even any of her business anymore? — It probably wasn’t but she still examined him from head to toe, He’s wearing his shades inside, what an asshole she thinks. He was almost unrecognisable. He was most definitely no longer her Harry. She didn’t care make eye contact with him, and he extended the same courtesy not that he had much of s choice in the matter.  Mr Styles is offering Ms Doherty 50% of all his assets, as of this time that part has not changed.  Ms. Doherty would be happy to only 25%, your honour. She feels it’s adequate enough to provide for the children, she has a job and doesn’t require 50%. Mr Styles insists in the 50%, even 25% of it were to go into a fund for the children. 

Her lawyer looks to her for approval, even though she really doesn’t need Harry’s money, she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Mr Styles would like joint custody of their two children, Koa Everett Styles and Lennon River Styles. Your honour, Mrs Doherty requests that the father of her children submits to drug and alcohol tests and has supervised visitations until he can get himself — uh well... clean.  The judge rules in her favour, Harry has to pass three tests in a row for both drugs and alcohol before he can come anywhere near the twins. The rest esd pretty straight forward and not much different to what they had already signed on, she got the house and would receive child support on top of the 50% of the money they made from the time they first got married. Harry doesn’t see his children  till two days before their third birthdays, almost three months after the court hearing. It had taken him three months but this time he swore to keep clean.

elizadoherty happy three my miracle babes, there are no words 🥺  Liked by gemmastyles, annetwist and 4,472,378 others. 

A month after the twins’ birthday it’s Eliza who changes the agreement for supervision required to him being allowed to do visits at their house. Both the twins and Harry would be much more comfortable and if would give her more of a chance to observe him with them before she lets them stay with him overnight. He’s the one who suggests they go to therapy. He tells her it might help, and that he’s willing to try anything so long as she is too.  The first session back in therapy goes well, they haven’t done one together since just after the twins were born. They mostly discuss how to co-parent better and how to communicate with each other, the therapist warns to discuss Fallon and Harry practically has a panic attack at the mention of her name. When he instantly gets up and walks out on the session it’s just you and the therapist and 20 minutes left on the timer. I don’t think he’s ready to talk about her yet. It’s a sensitive topic for him. It hasn’t quite been a year yet since she passed. He won’t even talk about her with me and that was out daughter.  When Eliza gets home, Harry is on her doorstep. He’s sober, but crying and hyperventilating. She sits next to him and just hugs him not really knowing what to do. Eliza prays that her boyfriend, Andrew, doesn’t come over today. Her prayers are answered Eliza and Harry are left on their own. He cries for a long period of time before the head inside her house, Eliza is silently grateful that Anne offered to take the kids to Holmes Chapel for the week. Where did we go wrong? We should have been better and communicating. I was depressed when I couldn’t tour straight away and then you let me go and honestly this is going to sound fucking terrible but I didn’t want to come home.  So many confessions spill from his lips in a short space of time. Then Eliza starts. I just wanted you to be okay, you were struggling, I know you were depressed. I keep thinking about it, I don’t remember the last time we kissed or had sex, maybe it was before the twins were even born, we should have made more time. When she stops he’s not crying anymore he’s just staring at her with his eyebrows furrowed and then he does the unimaginable he kisses her. Not just a regular peck, his hands on the back of her head and her hands are on his chest and for just a moment they’re back in 2019 and they’re newly engaged and their wold is perfect. And then he pulls away, apologises and leaves and they are back to being divorced, estranged people who happen to share two children together. 

[tokyoghoose]

nous aimons tous les deux jours

pairing: dabi x reader

playlist: things we never say - bad bad habits*, sincerity is scary - the 1975, love love love - of monsters and men, if i go, im going - gregory alan isakov, i dont know me like you do - low hum, if i get high - nothing but thieves ( alice kristiansen cover ), i dare you - the regrettes, problems - deathbyromy, fool of you - meltt, hell and you - amigo the devil, creature - it looks sad, tongues and teeth - the crane wives, hooked ( addicted you might say ) - eleisha eagle, nothings gonna hurt you baby - cigarettes after sex, a dream of you - far caspian, so alright, cool, whatever - the happy fits, a lovely night - ryan gosling

warnings: mentions of violence, brief mentions of drugs for expression, and suggestive themes

summary: we love every other day

announcements!

this is my first try at a enemies/lover thingy! Originally it was going to be an enemy to lovers but i liked the idea that they're just on opposing sides a little more haha. Lemme know if you'd like to see the other one though!

i know there are a lot of hero x villain fics like this out there 😌 this is my take on it, so please bare with me!

feedback is welcome and appreciated! requests are open!

"We really have to stop meeting like this."

An addiction. That's what it is. Either that or it's some kind of reverse psychology like you want what you can't have—because nothing else makes sense. If you knew him as a regular person, honestly you probably wouldn't have given him a second thought. If he was a hero you worked beside—or god forbid a villain—then you probably wouldn't have cared for a hookup or two, but then you'd get over it. It's not infatuation. It's an addiction. It's toxic and unhealthy and it just feels good even if it shouldn't. But the high; the high is unbeatable.

It continues on forever and more. From the moment his gaze pierces yours it's like snorting a rail of coke or taking a tab and the trip never ends. It's not even the fact you could get caught. You two are so damn obvious; anyone who stumbles into an alleyway at three in the morning would see the two of you doing more than what a fight warrants. It's just him. It's simply Dabi.

Romeo and Juliette's syndrome is probably a better term for it. But hell, it's not like he'd die for you. Right? It's not like you've known each other way longer than some days and nights and you certainly aren't teenagers and he's definitely not somebody who moves onto a girl and decides he's in love at first sight just because his 'rosaline' left him face down ass up. So maybe Romeo and Juliette is just lack of a better term.

But it's so unfair. How the hell are you supposed to escape him when it's like he's around every corner. With every breath you take, it's like he's an inch closer to crushing your chest with his. And maybe you want him to? This isn't very hero-like.

"You're the one always tracking me down, doll."

The pet name sends shivers down your spine and it makes you want him all the more.

Who am I? What has gotten into me?

You blame the pink tint to your cheeks on the brisk wind of the night, but the heat to them is a large contrast. You cross your arms over your chest and scoff, trying to look taller, stronger, and broader. Not in a threatening way, but more a warning.

This time you'll really take him out.

"In case you forgot, it's my job."

You tell yourself that every time.

And every time he gets away.

"I'm not doing anything but taking a walk."

He steps closer, the already short distance between you two getting shorter. The streetlamp that cuts the scene in half flickers, a moth flying away from the light and towards the moon. You count three squares in distance and you resist the urge to step back.

"You're a wanted criminal, Dabi."

He doesn't deny it but scoffs anyway, shoving his hands into his pockets leisurely. It's like he's never bothered. You're just a nat he's waiting to squash. You have to remind yourself of that: You're just prey.

"I think you just miss me." His tone is serious, but he's only teasing—no matter how true it is. You're starting to think that he can read minds—it's actually quite concerning.

You force a laugh past your lips, trying to show you aren't bothered by what he says. It's just a game of cat and mouse, and it's time the roles switch.

"Please. I could throw you in jail right now."

"But you wouldn't do that. Isn't that right, bunny?"

Your guard faulters and it gives him the opening he needs to corner you completely—and quite literally. It's a blink of an eye and he has you against the brick wall. It'd look rather suspicious to anyone passing, or maybe it looks endearing. But it doesn't matter, to begin with when it's a barren street. Even the crickets seem to have fled.

It's like wherever Dabi walks, everything else scatters. If it were the sea, you're sure it'd part red.

Dabi smirks, trapping you between his body and the cool, damp bricks. The mist from earlier rain seeps slowly into your hero suit, sending a violent chill down your spine. His other hand touches your hip, fingers grazing the fabric so faintly that it'd feel non-existent if it weren't for the heat radiating off them. You hitch your breath when his nose nudges your neck, his hot breath causes shivers and his eyes bore into your own with something mischievous.

"I-"

His lips ghost the skin of your neck and you subconsciously pull it taut, tilting your head to the side. You're beginning to hate how your body arches into his and how it reacts to the simplest of touches.

Like a brick to a window, your dissolve shattered easily.

Dabi quirks a brow, challenging you to continue as you sputter about. It's embarrassing. You can hear him say it now, just like so many times before: "Oh? A big hero like you getting flustered by a big bad villain like me? How cute."

Your walkie talkie comes alive with static and a voice cuts in asking for help to take down a gang of criminals a few cities over.

My saving grace.

"I-I have to go." You push him away by the shoulders with sudden confidence, but he doesn't seem to put up much resistance.

God, you want to wipe the smug smirk off his face.

He backs off and turns with an unbothered wave, proving his point that you wouldn't- couldn't touch him, much less win against him in any sort of battle. The untouchable.

"Until next time, right?"

———

It's like a new tide from the moon—how fast your feelings towards him change. He's awful. A criminal, a villain, a murderer. He's the literal icon of everything your against.. or of what you're supposed to be against.

But you understand him. You get his whys and you feel his emotion like you're apart of them. You empathize with him and it makes you so fucking angry at yourself because you know—as a hero—you should never side with a villain like him, no matter how much sense he starts to make.

Blame it on his tone and the smoothness of his words. He's just a swindler.

The next time isn't even a full week later. He technically protects you from some randoms in an alleyway and you catch him in the act of it all, turning to catch whoever was following you, only to be met with cold blue eyes and a pile of ashes in front of you.

Of course, it ultimately ends in the same place it always does; his bed.

His scent and touch linger a little too long after these meetings and you decide once again that this is the last time.

It's a real shame you have to blame it on his body heat and not the undeniable attraction you feel towards him. But you suppose that could count towards it.

His hands are anywhere—everywhere—and they leave a fire in their wake. It's too much and still not enough. All you want is to be closer. Fingers in his hair, pulling him into you until you can't, and then pulling him in more. It's like air, the way you breathe him in. When you finally give into dabi it no longer becomes a crime, but a necessity.

It's overbearing and messy and awful, but you can't help but slip into his embrace and into his warmth.

It's freezing and he's the sun.

Tangled in between cotton sheets, you feel him rub circles into your shoulder and you hear his heartbeat. It's reassuring to know someone like him even has one. Then again, he probably wouldn't have protected you if he didn't have one. How many times has he saved you from harm's way? Honestly, one time is too many.

It almost makes this fling of yours respectable. It almost makes you want to admit you're falling for that smug face and bad attitude.

"We talked about what we'd do if we ran into your league again, you know?"

Why on earth would you bring that up of all things, y/n?

He doesn't need to know anything about your career, much less your plans to take his team down.

"Hmm.. is that so?" Dabi's fingers move up to draw languid circles into your collarbone before shifting slightly to loom over you. His other hand comes to rest on your hip, sending a searing, but welcomed heat to the flesh. You hiss quietly at the sensation, already knowing there's a bruise forming from the activities not too long ago. His lips replace his hand on your neck and he removes his arm from under your head to hold himself up.

Your hand finds his messy hair, fingers delving into the raven locks and tugging gently as he makes his way to the column of your throat and to your ear. He nips at it, nose brushing against your jaw; his hot breath creating goosebumps that rise to your flesh.

"I like knowing you think of me when I'm not around, Angel."

The tone and raspiness of his voice makes you groan, feeling him kiss beneath your jaw. You just know he's smirking at the reactions he elicits from you because you can feel it. He enjoys watching your internal struggle. You can't act like you didn't choose to form whatever this is with him.

You tug his hair to look at him, bringing his face up and he almost looks annoyed that you disrupted his path heading down towards your chest. Your lips ghost over each other's and you lean in for a kiss, only for him to pull away and leave you chasing.

"I also like when you call my name."

Your hand falls from his hair to cup his jaw, practically pulling him forward into a kiss. It's rough to cover up the intimacy and need behind it. His fingers dig into the plush of your hip, thumb pressed into your stomach before his hand goes upward with an ulterior motive.

Pulling away from him before he can initiate anything more, you run your thumb across his lips and the silver bands that adore the lower half of his face. Surprisingly enough, it didn't take long to adjust to the different textures

"And I like how you kiss me."

This almost feels too domestic—not that you mind, but you're positive he knows you're wrapped around his finger, in the palm of his hand. It's impossible to hide it now. Your actions speak louder than the three words on the tip of your tongue, poisoning your mind.

It makes you cringe when you think about it all. How easily he can get into your head and twist your arm. Some nights you catch yourself thinking that maybe you'll be able to convince him to open his eyes a little wider to see your point of view, especially when you've begun to see his. They're horrible—the villains you go against, but he makes them seem so different. You hate how he makes you double think everything.

He playfully nips at your thumb when you push it gently between his lips, teasingly. His hands trail up your arms, pulling them off of him and above your head. You're the one who makes the move to intertwine fingers as he pushes them down harshly on the pillow underneath you. Insatiable. That's what he is. Is it so wrong to keep wanting more?

The sun beginning to rise over the horizon and spilling in through the window doesn't seem to stir him as he makes his descent from your lips.

You already know that by the next morning you'll hate him and that surrounds him. You'll hate yourself for listening to your heart instead of your head simply because it just 'feels so right.' It's a constant cycle between the two of you, and you're sure he feels the same. He doesn't agree with anything you stand by like a hero, but there's something that keeps him close enough.

There's only so much you can expect, even when you deny it over and over.

But god, you have to stop meeting like this.

[funkyfreshramblings]

A Story Twenty Years in the Making

CW: Swearing, sex, transphobia (Look, I'm not proud of who I was).

Shortly after I was born, a cousin of mine was as well. My mother took me to a store where she looked to buy a dress for her new niece to celebrate her birth. A woman stopped and looked at my mother, baby Devon in the stroller, dress in her hand, and curiously spoke up.

"Excuse me miss, but you know that you have a boy, right?" The woman shopping, presumably for her own daughter, had said to my mother.

"Of course I know I have a son. What about it?" My mother said in response.

"Well, that's a dress you're holding. Why would you be buying that for your son?" The woman puzzled.

My mother, quick as a whip and smarter than most people I know today, responded without a second thought.

"I'm letting him experiment with his sexuality."

---

At twelve (12) years old, I became aware of this really weird website. You see, everyone was talking about it, a schoolyard rumour we didn't dare to talk about in front of the teachers. The mythical status of this website was nothing to scoff at, students would huddle around and talk about their findings. It was like an ARG, a new puzzle added every day. The school was rife with these conversations, and everyone was hooked.

I'm of course talking about Pornhub.

Obligatory "don't go on Pornhub unless you're the legal viewing age in your country" aside (even though I'm aware those warnings stop nobody), I too became a curious mind. One day, when my parents had slipped out of the house and I was alone, I pulled it up on my computer upstairs. What I say fascinated me, women and men having sex.

Sex. Woah. Penises, vaginas, anuses. There was everything on this website. Everything. Including this one tab which I didn't dare click.

This one category had what appears to be two men on it. I assumed it was two men, after all neither of them had pronounced breasts like all the women had. And the title of the category? Gay. 'What the fuck does that mean?' twelve-year-old (12) me thought. I ignored it, thought it was weird, and continued on.

In the back of my mind, I was curious. A few weeks after watching straight porn and being mostly repulsed by how awful the women screamed in those videos, I tried it. I clicked on the category tab and was immediately hit with my first exposure to the gay community.

'Twink? Bear? Fisting? Now that's nasty.' I was curiously disgusted but clicked on anyways. "Twinks" looked cute, so I clicked there. Wait, cute? Did I really think these guys were cute? Like I thought my girlfriend was cute?

The video was, simply put, less aggressive than straight porn. Holy shit was straight porn aggressive. It terrified me how much those women screamed like the men were killing them by inserting their penises too far into their bodies. But gay porn looked softer. It was sweeter, with more love. After all, sex is about love, right? Forgive my younger self, you see. He clearly did not understand that nothing in porn is about love. But hey, when working with a half deck, you have to make the cards work.

So I watched gay porn over straight porn. That doesn't mean I'm gay! But wait, if gay porn is between two men, what is porn between a woman and a man. What's porn between two women? Never mind, I'm not that curious about two women together.

A quick Google search sent me down the most soul-searching adventure I'd ever partake in. At least, up until this point.

I soon learned what gay meant, what straight meant, what lesbian meant. You mean boys liking other boys was normal? Girls can like other girls? Wait, you can like boys and girls?

Oh, wait, you can also not be sexually attracted to anyone.

Asexual was a term I first read those years ago, and I soon thought that it described me. See, up until this point, women never interested me sexually. I was twelve (12). Sex really never crossed my mind, even when it was supposed to. But I was watching porn, I thought!

Doesn't matter. I didn't want to be part of those acts. That's what made me ace, I thought.

My lord was I wrong. (Not about ace people, but about my identity. This is where things get juicy. And chuddy.)

---

Okay, so cut to two years later. I'm fourteen (14), in grade ten (10) during Art class. One of my friends sat beside me, my ex across from me, and I hated Art class. Why'd I taken this god-awful course again? Regardless, as I sat there and thought, I thought about my bullying up until high school.

I filled out as a kid. I mean that literally, I grew tall and wide really quickly. No one fucked with me when I was in high school. No one wanted to, and I faded to the background.

But in elementary school, I was the new kid. Backing up to 2009, eight-year-old (8) Devon moved. I would celebrate my ninth (9th) birthday in a class where no one knew me or no one cared. Well, that's not true. One kid cared. Bless that kid. Regardless, 9-year-old (9) me had a target on his back. A big one, and it quickly meant I was being bullied.

My mother is terrifying. I use bold there because I don't think italics can describe just how terrifying mama-bear is when she's angry. After finding out that I was being bullied, she pulled into the school and chewed out the principal. And the parents. And the kids. Hell hath no fury like a mother who went through the shit mine did. So quickly the bullying died down.

Stopped? No, but quieted. My new friends surrounded me in a wonderful bubble of love, but that didn't mean they also didn't pick on me. The most common insult? Gay.

Gay? Like, porn gay? No no no, I said. I'm not gay.

Cut back to 14-year-old (14) me, thinking throughout Art class. I swear Ms. Taylor had it out for me. Oh, right, gay.

'Holy shit.' I thought.

'Wait. They're right, I'm gay. I like men. Holy shit I really like men. Men are hot, and I want to be with one so bad. But I live in this crap town of conservatives (my parents taught me right, conservatives are some of the shittiest people on the planet after all).'

Okay, so I'm gay. I figured that out at the very least! Now I have to tell people.

Oh. Fuck. I have to tell people.

Coming out. Hell, as I like to call it. First to my friends. My friends would understand, after all, I had a pansexual friend. What the fuck does pansexual mean? Never mind that Devon, focus on your own damn self for a second.

Oh. My. God. I have to tell people.

I pulled up my big boy pants and blurted out in the middle of class...

Nothing. What did you expect?

I waited 'till the next morning. That made sense.

---

"Hi, Sierrah!" I said to my colourful friend. Her hair was always a different colour every month and still is. I wish I had half the hair strength she must have.

"Hey, Devon!" She said, blue backpack on her back, meeting up with me to walk to school in the morning.

"I have something to tell you. I'm gay." She looked at me and squealed before wrapping me in a big hug.

"I'm so proud of you!" Okay, one down. A lot more to go.

My best friend in high school used to be someone who I absolutely despised. We bonded over our shared dislike of our shared ex. We became really close. Telling him was pretty easy. Okay, two down.

Remember that girl I sat beside during Art? Not my ex, the one I bonded with my best friend over disliking, I meant the girl sitting beside me. Well, let me tell you.

No one can give me a reception nearly half as good as what she did when I told her.

"Sara, I'm gay," I said. Less than five (5) seconds later, my face was buried in the tits of Sara. That was... fun. Not sexual in the slightest, it was fun. She was warm, and she loved me. I could tell that as a friend, Sara would become the most important person in my life. Thank you, Sara. Should you ever read this.

I hope someone reads this.

Anyone?

Moving on, I eventually told all my friends that day. None of them gave a shit! Cool!

My parents.

Oh no. My parents were next.

I'm skipping that part, it's no longer relevant.

Sorry. (Not sorry in the slightest.)

---

So I graduated the gay kid of 2018. Yay! Seventeen-year-old (17) me made it to grad!

But before I did, I need to preface this part of the story. I was, unfortunately, a fan of Soygon of Asskad. And Blairina Weiss.

Shame. Shame. Shame. Not a day goes by where I'm not sorry for my actions during this period of my life. I am so profusely sorry for the racism and transphobia I perpetuated during this period of my life. I was even homophobic. God damn it, Devon, what the fuck are you doing?

I am now a proud socialist. University helped. So did Vaush, and BadBunny (who's chat might be reading this. Henlo Nicole! Henlo chat!).

Scream at me about Vaush later.

Okay, where was I? Right, grad. University applications.

I made it into the University of Toronto Mississauga. Canada's best university. One of the best universities in the world. Holy shit, I should be more proud of myself for that. I am proud. I made it there, and as I write this, I'm on my last year.

Here's to me becoming a med student soon, I hope!

So school happened. I went to school as a shy gay kid with undiagnosed anxiety problems. That wouldn't last, and soon my anxiety was written in the prescriptions I was handed over the counter for Lexapro. This is where I met my first friend from university.

He will remain unnamed for legal reasons.

He introduced me to one of the most beautiful men I've met to this date.

S. (Name redacted for reasons you need not know. Not legal reasons. Personal ones. Please respect this decision.)

Woah, was this guy just... hot. He was an athlete, no way he'd like me. He probably also sleeps around, and I don't want that.

Boy was I wrong. I soon found out that S was very much into me. I was someone's crush. Wow!

That eventually turned into a... relationship. You get the gist. Affirmation.

I was very, very gay. S helped me understand that I was very very gay.

Okay, so eighteen-year-old (18) Devon was gay. That was very clear.

So that's the end of the story, right?

No.

We just crossed the halfway point.

---

Cut to twenty (20). I am gay, an active chatter in BadBunny's (Twitch streamer, not singer) discord, and really really confused.

See, progressive streamers like BadBunny typically have features to add yourself to a role on Discord that would tell everyone your pronouns when they clicked on your profile. This is a really good way to affirm pronouns of everyone, so I'm down.

Well, I do have one problem. Any/all isn't listed here. Wait.

Wait...

Any? All?

Why do I feel like this?

I'm cis. Let me make that clear. I am cisgendered. I identify as a man, I was born a man, and I think I will always be a man. I think.

But I know pronouns don't necessarily tell you someone's gender. They is a really popular pronoun for all sorts of non-binary identities, all of which are different from each other. So pronouns do not equal gender.

Can I really use they/them, she/her, he/him, fae/faer, fawn/fawn, etc/etc. all while being cis? I think so, let's try it! I don't know how to describe my gender, all I know is I'm apathetic to my pronouns.

Cut to a TikTok video. I learned my fucking gender identity from a TikTok video. This is why representation is important.

"Gender Apathy" we're the words coming from this person's mouth. She? He? Them? Didn't matter, they didn't care. I didn't care.

We didn't care.

Holy fuck.

---

Google has been a really important resource for me as an academic student. Wikipedia articles affirm my suspicions before I move onto Google Scholar to look up articles.

I'm fucking kidding.

Fuck Google Scholar.

But Google did introduce me to the world of fandom wikis.

Is gender wiki a thing? LGBTQ+ wiki?

As it turns out, it is.

Gender Apathy is an article there, as well as many many other identities. If you're question, do some keyword searches. You'll never know what you find.

Anyways, Gender Apathy. Cisapathetic, which I kind of interpret as someone who identifies as cisgender but doesn't really care? I guess? This is all still confusing, but whatever. Cisapathetic.

I quickly shared this with all my friends. I found something new out!

But we aren't done yet.

---

Cut to a little while later. It's Pride month, 2021. This month, if you happen to read this as soon as it goes up! Someone on TikTok is making Pride moths.

Fucking TikTok.

Moths were, at one point, a really popular meme online. Lämp. Gen Z humour will be the end of us all.

So naturally, people found a love for moths. Great, that's lead us to this point. I notice during these videos that these moths are pretty. I want one, or rather, two.

I want the modern Pride moth. The trans flag and a black and brown stripe were included on this modern Pride flag to signal that BIPOC are central to Pride, and need to be celebrated and that our trans friends need our help. Need our platform. Need our rights too.

And I wanted the Gender Apathetic moth. After all, it was something new I discovered! Well, I noticed something in the comments while I was requesting a Gender Apathetic moth from this creator (they were open to suggestions, so please don't heckle me about it). One commenter said the words "are you doing a Neptunic/Uranic/Saturnic moth as well?" What the hell are those?

To the LGBTA wiki!

Neptunic is described as a sexuality "attracted to women, feminine non-binary people and neutral non-binary people."

Saturnic is described as a sexuality "attracted to androgynous aligned non-binary people."

Uranic is the one I'm really curious about then. I'm attracted to men, after all. Uranic is described as a sexuality "attracted to men, masculine non-binary people and neutral non-binary people."

Woah.

So let me back up a little bit.

When I had access to Twitter (they suspended me for defending my sexuality from someone who was saying gay men all have AIDS, so thanks Twitter) I once made a thread talking about how I didn't feel comfortable with calling myself gay.

"But Devon," I hear you say, "the whole first half of this story was dedicated to you realizing you were gay! How can you say that after wasting so much of our fucken' time?"

Give me a minute, dear reader. Let me explain what I said in this thread.

As I type this out, I recognize the transphobia I had against trans-men even while typing out that thread. I want to say, right here, right now, that my sexuality is trans-inclusive. Men with vaginas are still men. I am still very much attracted to men with vaginas. But this thread still falls on transphobic remarks. Once again, I profusely apologize for my past. I am currently working towards being a better person to my trans friends, both online and offline. I am doing my best to be better. I love you all, and I thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this.

Oh, and U of T, if you're reading this, before you even think about kicking me out for admitting my previous bigotry, I urge you to think about your staff first. Jordan Peterson still has a job and makes the campus trans-exclusive as he continues to teach. Catch yourself before you come for me, a student doing his best to be better.

Okay, so back to the Twitter thread.

I essentially said something along the lines of this:

I really struggle with calling myself gay when in reality, I'm only attracted to people with penises, and who lack vaginas and breasts. I would have sex with non-binary people who have penises. So am I really just "gay?"

But in a lot more words. Before I continue, I want to take the time to explain how this comment is transphobic, and why I am sorry and why I want to explain that I no longer feel this way. Okay? So, here's the short of it:

I go by the term gay, but by saying I'm explicitly only attracted to people with penises while liking men, I was indirectly making the point that trans-men are not men if they too do not have penises.

This is not true. Trans men are men, and I have come to realize my attraction for trans men as well, despite genitalia. My sexuality encompasses men of all kinds, and non-binary people who are masculine aligned or neutrally aligned. Once again, I can only apologize and do better.

I am sorry for my previous transphobia. I hope I can make it better by acknowledging it and doing my best to avoid these implications ever again.

Okay, now that we have all of that out of the way, let's talk Uranic again.

Uranic really does describe me. I feel it in every bone of my body, that I really do find myself sexually attracted to even non-binary people.

So, gay is out, uranic is in.

Where does that leave me today?

---

When I started this post, I explained how I was a cisgendered gay man who was a liberal who almost fell down the alt-right pipeline. But as I type this post, not only has my identity evolved, but so has my political ideology. I am a cisapathetic, uranic man who still uses the term gay in casual conversation because it's easier even though it doesn't really describe me, socialist.

BadBunny/Nicole, chat, if you're reading this, thank you. You helped me a ton in discovering socialism and to reject ideas of capitalism that only serve to continue the systematic racism against black people, the systematic transphobia that kills trans people, and even the systematic homophobia I face as a "gay" man.

Wow, that was long. Really long. If you made it this far, give yourself a pat on the back. You just read the life history of a twenty-year-old (20) and how he came to understand his identity.

I love you all.

Signed,

Devon.

FunkyFreshHomo on Discord.

[angelic-holland]

Unexpected // th x fem!reader

Based on this ask:  Can you do an imagine where Tom and the reader are best friends and Tom always teases her but never does anything but o w night when they are on vacation and they go to the club and do some sexy dancing and they have to share a bed after that and they end up having sex

Summary: ^^ basically that, Tom can be famous in this, he doesn’t have to be, up to you, the reader. 

warnings: nsfw, lowkey soft cute smut

word count: 4.1k (yes I get carried away but the bed sharing trope and friends to lovers trope is killing me) 

“Tom, stop oh my god,” you giggle as he tickles you, you’re practically in tears trying to roll out from underneath him, he’s got you pinned down on the floor, his knees on either side of your waist.

“What? You don’t like this?” He says, his fingers running up and down your sides tickling you.

“No I just, need to- need to get packed! We leave for Scotland tonight and I legit haven’t packed.”

He sighs in defeat, getting off from you and helping you up.

“Why are we driving eight hours at 4pm again?”

“Because I’m crazy and want to spend more time there dumbass.”

“Hey, you’re the one doing the driving so whatever,” Tom says, following you into your room and flopping down on your bed.

“Yeah that’s me,” you laugh pulling out your suitcase.

“You know, there’s this really cool club in Edinburgh we should check out if you’re up for it, when we get there.”

“Yeah, lemme get something sexy to wear,” you say, opening up your closet.

“You know what you should wear?”

“That plain black T-shirt that is like five years old and just that?” You joke, grabbing your favorite tight black dress.

You hear Tom suck in a breath, and you don’t turn. Logically you knew he was joking, over exaggerating his breathing to get you riled up. He knew how to push your buttons. You’ve been friends since you were kids.

“This is pretty similar,” you say turning to him and holding the dress up against you.

“It’s perfect darlin’,” he says, eyeing you up and down, making you blush.

You were almost positive he knew how you felt about him, that you’ve a stupid crush on him. That’s why he teased you all the time, because he thought it was as dumb as you thought it was. Falling for your best friend? Lame move.

You packed the rest of your clothes, leaving for dress out, while Tom sat on your bed and watched you move around the room.

“Why don’t we leave now?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, you’re packed, I’m packed, we can get there a little early, have more time at the club.”

“Sure,” you say, wondering if he only wanted more time at the club to find a pretty girl to hook up with, “I’m just gonna change into the dress so I’ll be ready when we get there.”

“Perfect,” Tom says, grabbing your suitcase, “I’ll bring our bags to your car.”

He left you be and you quickly stripped your T-shirt and sweatpants, tossing off your underwear and opting for black lace panties that matched your dress. You chose not to wear a bra, the dress making your tits look great anyways. You pulled the dress on, your hand reaching behind you and struggling to pull up the zipper. You groaned in frustration and didn’t realize Tom was back until he coughed. You blushed and turned towards him, leaning against the doorway watching you.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Just long enough to see your T-Rex arms struggle to zip up that dress, come here.”

“I do not have t-Rex arms,” you huff, stretching them even more to tug at the zipper.

“You’re gonna pull a muscle and then we can’t even drive there,” Tom says making his way over to you.

You sigh and close your eyes, turning so your back is to him. You take a deep breath as you feel the cool of the zipper move up your back as he closes it for you, his hand resting on the top of your back before you cough, moving past him and out of the room.

“All ready?” You ask, grabbing your purse with your phone and wallet and everything else you could possibly need.

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” he says, shutting the lights off in your apartment before following you out the door.

You were about halfway to Edinburgh when some asshole cuts you off trying to enter the highway and you’re heart almost jumps out of your chest before Tom calms you down, his warm hand on your exposed lower thigh, rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

“Fucking asshole,” you mutter, calming your breathing. Your face is red, either from being angry or Tom’s hand on your thigh, you’re not quite sure yet.

You look over at him, he’s got a concentrated, interesting look on his face. You’re not quite sure what it is but he’s looking out the window so you quickly look back towards the front, ignoring the hand that was still on your thigh.

You made it to Edinburgh by 9:45, only a little traffic on the way and Tom helps you find parking for the club, his hand finally leaving your thigh.

You park and Tom pays the entrance fee for the two of you, starting a tab for the pair of you.

****

“You gonna come dance or you gonna sit there and drink another beer?” You ask, sitting down at the bar next to Tom.

“Nah, don’t feel like dancing.”

“Tom you literally said we had to go to this club and now you don’t wanna dance?”

“I’ll, I’ll dance later okay?”

You shrug, taking a sip of your dirty Shirley that Tom watched before slipping off the stool and making your way back onto the dance floor.

You danced by yourself, swaying your hips to the music. You sort of hoped that a guy would find you, ask you to dance with him, maybe you could forget about Tom. Throughout the years you found different guys, dated some, hooked up with some to forget about Tom,

You saw a cute guy making his way through the crowd to you, blond messy hair, green eyes.

“Hi,” he says, smiling down at you.

“Hey,” you grin back at him, your hips continuing to sway.

“Name’s Harry,” He says, holding his hand out to shake yours.

You smirk, taking his hand and placing it on your hip, “I’m Y/N, care to dance?”

He nods, placing his other hand on your hip as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“You’re not from around here huh?” He asks, his lips ghosting over your ear as you press your body against his, moving to the music.

“Nope, London,” you say back, giggling as his hands move down to your lower back, hesitating, you know where he wants his hands to go, you press your hips into his own, grinding against him as his hands fall to hold your ass.

“Looked so good from across the club, just had to get to know ya,” he whispers and you could feel his hard on.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you laugh. He wasn’t a bad choice. He showed interest in you. He didn’t touch your ass until you made the first move. You’d be okay with a little distraction right now. Your mind was far away from Tom as it possibly could be in this moment.

****

Tom watched as you danced, trying to gain the courage to go and dance with you, until he saw a guy, taller than him, more muscular than him make his way to you. He felt a little self-conscious, crossing his arms in front of him. He watched as you giggled, tucking your hair behind your ear and dancing with him, grinding on him. His eyes darkened and he was bombarded with several emotions at once. Anger, at himself because he didn’t make the first move even though he’s wanted too for so fucking long. Sadness that you looked like you were enjoying yourself while he’s brooding. And jealousy, because he’s got his hands all over you, grinding against you to the music, whispering into your ear when that’s what Tom wants to do. He feels like a fucking idiot. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it but suddenly he’s standing up and pushing his way through the crowd, tapping on your shoulder.

***

You feel someone tap your shoulder and you jump in Harry’s arms. You pull away from him and turn around.

“Oh hey Tom,” you smile, wondering what was up with him.

“Think I’m ready for that dance now.” His face is stoic, you can’t tell what the fuck he’s thinking although you’re typically pretty good at reading him.

“Oh, okay,” you sigh, turning to Harry.

“What? Who’s this?” He asks, crossing his arms and looking back and forth between you and Tom.

“Friend, it was uh, nice to meet you,” you laugh, rubbing your neck, feeling a little awkward that Tom interrupted this moment.

“Uh, fucking alright,” Harry scoffs, stalking away.

“What’s his deal?” Tom asks as he pulls you close to him, leaving an honorable distance between the two of you, his hands very lightly touching your waist.

“Uhh, we were being filthy and you interrupted us, think he thought he was gonna get some, you idiot,” you roll your eyes and put your hands on Tom’s shoulders.

“Were you gonna let him get some?”

“I don’t fucking know, none of your business if I did,” you say, sticking your tongue out at your overprotective friend.

“You’re right,” Tom says, “why do I feel like a 14 year old at a school dance right now?”

“Because we’re dancing like we’re at a school dance right now, dumbass.”

“You know you should stop calling me stupid.”

“Whatcha gonna do about it?” You ask, a twinkle in your eyes, daring him to respond.

He rolls his eyes at you, pulling you closer to him, so your chest is flush with his.

“Much better,” he smiles, starting to move his body to the music, forcing you to play along.

Your hips and lower bodies never touched, your tits were pressed against his chest though and you were sort of worried he’d feel your nipples through your dress. Wasn’t much you could do about it and if he didn’t like it, you figured he stop dancing with you.

As you were going through this mini crisis Tom’s eyes never left your face, watching every thought move your brain and show on your face.

“You know, we should get back to the hotel, check in, don’t wanna make the poor hotel staff stay up all night to check us in.”

“They’ll be doing that anyway, it’s their job,” Tom says.

“Yeah but, I just drove like eight hours and I’m fucking exhausted.”

“You weren’t exhausted before when you were grinding all over that guy,” Tom huffs.

“Yeah and? All the dancing tired me out. You would feel the same if you were the one driving the eight hours and you decided to start dancing right away instead of wasting an hour being fucking grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy,” Tom frowns, his hands letting go of your hips.

“Sure,” you shake your head, letting go of his shoulders, “let’s just get outta here come on.”

****

“Wait, you’re telling me you overbooked and you’ve only got a room with one bed in it?” You ask, tired, a little tipsy, and starting to get angry.

“Yes, again, we’re so sorry, we can cover this week’s booking price for you and get you into a room with two beds once one becomes available, but for now we only have a room with one queen bed.”

“This is, I just wanna sleep, is there a couch or something in the room?”

“There’s a small couch, it’s not a pull out but you could probably fit on it,” the woman says, you knew it wasn’t her fault and you couldn’t be mad at her about it.

“Okay, that’s great thank you so much,” you say, grabbing the room key, waiting for Tom to come inside with your bags.

He meets you shortly and notices your pissed off expression, “What’s wrong darling?” He asks as you grab your suitcase from him and press the up button for the elevator a little too hard.

“Nothing, they overbooked and we’ve gotta room with one bed and a couch.”

“What? How do you overbook? Isn’t it all on the computer now?”

You shrug, too tired to try to understand what went wrong as you both step into the elevator.

You ride in silence to your floor, opening the door to your hotel room and sighing. It was a lot smaller than expected, the queen bed shoved into the corner by the bathroom, a small couch quite literally 4 foot long sitting underneath the window.

“Well, could be worse,” Tom says, setting his suitcase down.

“Don’t wanna know your idea of worse,” you mumble, grabbing your pjs from your suitcase.

“Y/N?” Tom asks, getting his own clothes.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch you can have the bed.”

“Don’t be stupid you won’t fit on the couch, your legs will be completely off,” you shrug, trying to tug down your zipper.

“If the couch isn’t comfortable you can sleep on the bed, not like we haven’t shared a bed before, Here lemme help,” Tom says, you shiver as his hand rests against your own, moving it away from your back to allow himself room to tug your zipper down. You shudder as the cold zipper runs down your back, feeling his hand against your bare skin until the zipper is right above your panties.

“Thanks Tom,” you say, all but running to the bathroom. You look at yourself in the mirror, hair a little messy, face bright red, the blush spreading down your neck and onto your chest. You shake your head, stripping off your dress before throwing on the oversized T-shirt on. Of course you had shared a bed, literally ages ago when you were like 10 and you slept over his house and he didn’t want you sleeping on the floor so you two would sleep in his bed. Of course, when Nicki turned the lights off on you two, you would pretend to be asleep on the floor before crawling into his large (for two kids) bed and falling asleep there.

***

One morning when you were both 14 or so, Nicki had come to see what type of pancakes you wanted and walked into the sight of the two of you sound asleep on Tom’s bed, you had normally fell asleep with your head on his chest, his arm around your shoulder. It was comforting, to feel his heartbeat underneath you, his arm a warm presence. She flipped out of course, calling your mom, screaming her lungs off at Tom, saying how you were both too young. You tried to explain to her and your mom that nothing happened you just slept there because it was more comfortable, they didn’t believe a word you said until a few months later, after you two weren’t allowed to have sleepovers anymore.

***

You shook your head, pulling on your sleep shorts before making your way back to the room.

Tom had changed into a pair of sweatpants, no shirt, that’s how he always slept, tonight was no different. He was already sitting on the bed, it did look nice, and there was no mom to walk in on the two of you if you shared it. You shook your head, the events from tonight still too fresh and too weird for you to share a bed.

You make your way to the couch, sitting down on it and grimacing at how hard it was. You tuck your legs up and try to lay down, even with how short you are you’re still squished on the very small bed. You turn and close your eyes, trying to concentrate on falling asleep but you physically can’t. You turn around, trying to find a better position to sleep in, to no avail.

“Y/N, don’t be stubborn, come here,” Tom says and you reluctantly agree, dragging your feet from the sofa to the bed.

He’s turned the lights off as you climb into the bed, which felt so much better underneath you. You crawled under the covers, resting your head on the pillow and facing away from Tom, listening to him get situated and comfortable.

You felt the rise and fall of his chest, his breath starting to steady, it sounded like he was falling asleep so you shut your eyes and hoped to do the same.

“Sorry I ruined your night,” you hear him mumble and you frown, rolling over to face him.

“What the fuck do ya mean?”

He was visibly upset, not in the way most people look when they’re upset, a slight frown trying to force a smile or watery eyes. Tom’s face, when he was upset, was a little different. His eyebrows furrowed, forehead crinkled, it honestly looked like he was concentrating and to anyone else that’s what they would’ve thought but you knew better.

“For interrupting you, with that guy.”

“Tom?”

“Yeah?”

Screw it. You were gonna tell him, tell him how you feel, how you’ve felt for so long. Either he would feel the same way, which you were weary and doubtful of, or you would die of embarrassment and he could get the bed to himself for the rest of the week. You stared at him, your hand moving to rest on his cheek.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Nevermind oh god I’m a fucking idiot,” you groan, pulling your hand away.

You look down, knowing you’re blushing, feeling your eyes start to water. You fucked up.

Before you can comprehend what’s happening he’s pushing you down, straddling your hips and kissing you, hard.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he says after several soft kisses.

“You have?” You ask, feeling yourself get wet as his hips rest against yours.

“Fuck, darling, Y/N, literally since we were kids I’ve had the biggest fucking crush on you.”

“No, you’re, are you serious?”

“Yes? I just kissed you didn’t I?”

“Oh my god we’re both idiots then.”

“What?”

“I’ve had a crush on you too dumbass.”

“Then uh, what are we waiting for?” He smirks, he kisses you again, hands running up and down your sides under your shirt, much like when he was tickling you earlier that day, but these touches were different. They were soft, full of something you couldn’t quite put your name on but you loved. You moaned into the kiss as his hands grazed the sides of your tits.

“Is this okay?” He asks, hands hesitant.

“Please,” you say against his lips, pushing back against him so he sat up, tugging your shirt off.

You blush, despite having wanted this, having fantasized about this for ages you couldn’t believe it was happening.

“Hey, you’re beautiful,” he says, hands roaming up your chest, taking a breast into each hand and teasing your nipples with his fingers.

“Fuck Tom,” you groan, pulling him back down to kiss you.

He teases and tugs at your nipples while you kiss, tongues rolling against each other like they were made for this. He pulls away from your kiss and you whine until he starts kissing and sucking down your neck, leaving small marks that you’ll admire for days to come.

You’re definitely soaked through your sleep shorts by now and you want him to rip them off of you and go to town but you also wanted him to take his time. Your hips rolled against his and he groaned against your neck, hand moving from your breast to play with the hem of your shorts.

“Can these come off darling?”

“Please Tommy,” you whimper and he groans, using both hands to tug the shorts and panties off your legs, tossing them to the side.

You normally only called him Tommy when you were making fun of him or trying to get him riled up. The way you said it now though, so different from any other time had Tom twitching in his sweats.

“Can I, really wanna, may I eat you out?”

The way he asks you, hesitant, eyes staring into your fucking soul, how could you say no?

You nod eagerly, and you move until you’re sitting up against the headboard so you can watch. He kisses down your stomach, skipping over where you wanted him the most and kissing up and down your thighs, working on the outer, middle, then inner portions before he finally was situated right over your dripping pussy, staring between it and you. He licked his lips and you swore you could’ve come right there. His hands spread your thighs a little farther apart, breathing over your pussy, sending shivers down your spine.

“Please Tom,” you whine, hands grabbing at the sheets.

“Please what? What do you want me to do darling?”

“Please, oh god please eat me out, need your tongue Tommy,” you whine as his tongue licks from your hole to your clit, lapping at your wetness before sucking on your clit. He brings one finger to tease your entrance, staring at you as he does so before pushing it inside of you.

“Oh fuck, please Tom oh my god,” you cry out as he finds your g-spot pretty fast with his finger, quickly adding a second finger and hitting it again. You’ve fantasized about his fingers, much longer and a little thicker than your own.

He continues eagerly sucking and licking at your clit as he fucks you with his fingers, you feel the knot deep in your stomach start to twist and you know you’re about to come.

“Oh fuck, Tom, gonna, fuck gonna come please,” you whine as he adds another finger, nailing your g-spot with every stroke.

“Come for me darling,” he says against your clit before wrapping his lips around it again.

You clench around his fingers as you come, crying out his name, holding onto the sheets for dear life, hoping the rooms next to you can’t hear you.

He licks you through your orgasm, pulling his fingers out and licking them clean as you recover. He moves back up your body, kissing and sucking marks into your skin as he makes his way to your lips. You kiss him, hands wrapping around his neck, hips moving to find his own.

“You wanna, uhh, can I fuck you?” He asks, one hand playing with his sweatpants.

“Yeah, fuck me please, oh my god,” you groan as he pulls his sweatpants down, moving off of you.

“Where you going?”

“Grabbing a condom baby,” he says, opening his wallet. He rolls the condom onto his cock while you watch, trying not to fucking drool, you’ve imagined what his cock looks like but seeing it in person was better than you could ever dream.

He climbs back on top of the bed, kissing you softly as his hand positions his cock at your entrance. He wanted to tease you, make you beg for his cock, beg to come, but he has been waiting for this moment, waiting to fuck you for so fucking long he couldn’t wait. He slid in slowly, giving you time to adjust, one hand holding himself up, the other cupping your cheek, thumb stroking your face as you kissed. It wasn’t what you expected, for him to be so soft, so sweet, dare you say loving, but you didn’t mind it. You loved it really.

He slowly thrusts into you, kissing all over your face, you giggled a little but his thrusts quickened and turned your giggles into moans.

“Tom,” you moaned as he picked up the pace.

“Y/N, feel so good wrapped around me. You gonna come for me again baby?”

“Fuck, feel so, feel so good, fucking me so well, just need, oh fuck,” you groan as his hand moves from your face down your chest, pinching your nipples before moving down between your bodies, thumb rubbing quick circles against your clit.

“I gotcha, come on darling, come for me,” he says, mouth sucking and kissing down your neck.

“Tommy,” you whine as he makes you come again, his thumb rubbing your clit with less and less pressure as you clench around him, letting out little whimpers of his name.

The way you looked, head thrown back, whining his name, the way you were so fucking wet and dripping down your thighs had Tom twitching, his hand moving to cup your face, kissing you as he came.

He slowly pulled out of you, your hands running up and down his arms as he pulled away from your lips, rolling to the side of you.

****

“So, you’ve been wanting to do that for a long time?” He asks, you both had showered, settled back down in bed, your head on his chest, his arm around your shoulder, like you used to.

“Oh shut up you’ve wanted to too.”

“And why didn’t we do this sooner?”

“Because I’m stubborn and you’re stupid.”

“Ah that’s right that’s right,” he says, kissing your head.

“I guess we uh, don’t need that other room with two beds then eh?”

[sachigram]

Hearts Like Ours Chapter 12

((click here to read on ao3!!!))

The thing about Izaya is, he's nothing if not adaptable. Shizuo would probably make some crass comment about parasites adapting to harsh conditions to stay alive no matter what, and Izaya really wouldn't be able to refute it. Shizuo can have his finer intellectual moments, and Izaya really would do whatever it takes to stay alive because he's too afraid of an alternative.

He sighs wearily from under the hood covering his face. He's definitely been in this situation before, and having been kidnapped again certainly gives him a headache, but otherwise he's just annoyed. It's really not the most opportune time in his life for this, but Izaya left his apartment to clear his head, and he's always done his best thinking on his toes, after all.

“One of the most unpopular men in the city, and you walk around alone after dark,” an annoyingly familiar voice says. “Unwise, Izaya-san. You've grown sloppy in your hubris.”

“Living in fear is hardly living at all, right? Not that you're particularly scary, Watanabe-san. I was speaking metaphorically,” Izaya responds breezily. The noise of someone approaching him has him bracing himself for impact, and he isn't surprised when he's punched across the face.

“We should have gagged you, too.”

Izaya could point out they could have done a lot of things differently. They could have knocked him unconscious so he didn't know exactly how far he had been taken, could have been more subtle in their approach, could have announced their plans less...theatrically. Izaya isn't used to dealing with amateurs so seriously; it's not something he lowers himself to, but Junichi forced Izaya into this, and Izaya isn't one to play his cards until he's got a winning hand. He smiles.

“Why would you gag me when you want so desperately to hear what I've got to say?” Izaya asks. “You might as well take off the bag over my head, too. I hardly care where we are.”

“Might as well let you look at my face before I kill you,” Junichi agrees. He inhales, probably smoking a cigarette, from the sounds of it, and it reminds Izaya of Shizuo, even more so when he smells the scent wafting over him. Izaya blinks when the bag is removed, his eyes sensitive. He gets a good look at Junichi for the first time in a long while.

Junichi is on the shorter side, not that Izaya considers himself tall. What Junichi lacks in height, he makes up for in muscle, and on his arms and likely his torso are typical winding tattoos usually found on Yakuza members. Junichi might have been considered attractive at one point in time, but age hasn't been kind to him, and his hairline is receding almost comically. The lines on his face are even worse than the last time Izaya saw him, but then again Junichi has been through a great ordeal thanks to Izaya himself.

“You're looking well, Izaya-san,” Junichi says with a grin. He puts his thumb under Izaya's chin, swiping at the blood dribbling from Izaya's busted lip.

“Yeah? You look like shit,” Izaya says, still smiling, and Junichi laughs.

“So will you very soon. A pretty face won't do you much good here. None of my boys swing that way. Unlike you, right? You've been fucking around with that bartender.”

“He lost that job a long time ago, actually. I got him fired from it because it was funny. The two of us aren't exactly friends.”

“Trying to protect him, huh? Good plan, but it won't work. He's hardly left your side these last few months. You're really going to tell me he's been staying at your place and hasn't had his way with you yet?” Junichi crosses his arms and looks down, one of his bushy eyebrows raised in disbelief. “You've got a reputation for being a slut.”

“Oh, have I?” Izaya asks. In all honesty, sex has always bored him. It wasn't required to get what he wanted in his line of work, but he never said anything against the rumors that circulated around him. He's spent a lot of time behind closed doors with many higher ups, and if people thought he was being fucked, why did it matter? If anything it cemented him as someone powerful, someone who was important to the Awakusu-Kai and various other factions, even lowly color gangs rising by the day. Izaya never cared what they said about him so long as they knew he wasn't easily expendable.

“Yeah. You do. Gotta say, I do see the appeal in stuffing your mouth, but unfortunately I don't want your last moments to be enjoyable.” Junichi takes another drag on his cigarette and smiles before he reaches down and rubs the cigarette out against Izaya's hand. Izaya doesn't give him the satisfaction of flinching.

“A missed opportunity for you, I'm sure. I'm good with my tongue,” Izaya says, focusing on his anger and refusing to yield to the pain. This is nothing. He's been through worse and he'll go through worse still. He thinks briefly of the monster-like version of Shizuo with dead eyes that's been haunting his dreams, and he laughs because that version of Shizuo is so ridiculously inaccurate that Izaya can't believe he was ever frightened.

The human mind is funny like that.

His laughter earns him another punch, but all in all, it was worth it.

“So,” Izaya says, licking at the blood on his lip. His right eye will likely be swollen shut later, but he'll deal with that once it happens. “You decided to snatch me up and bring me to your...hovel. What's next? Are you going to reveal your tragic backstory and try to make me feel contrite for my actions? Because honestly, you've been pathetic until now, and I'd like to add more dimension to you for my own sake. Nothing in life is worse than being bored.”

“You really don't know how to shut up, do you?” Junichi leans down, putting his hands on the chair Izaya is tied to. He looks into Izaya's eyes, and the crazed glint is obvious, but Izaya is anything but afraid of him. “You think this is boring? I've got five guys outside this door who could tear you limb from limb without lifting a finger. I've got copies of your precious files from your personal desktop. I've got your sisters' school schedules and your little boyfriend is being paid a visit from some of my boys as we speak.”

“I'd be more concerned about these boys of yours, if I were you. Not just because of who you sent them after, but because referring to them as your boys is very creepy.”

Junichi glares at him, scrutinizing Izaya's face as if he's trying to decipher whether Izaya is truly afraid or not.

“Are you really this angry at me for getting you arrested? I've done it to Shizu-chan and he just tried to kill me outright, none of these silly games. Or is this about your nephew's death? You realize I wasn't even here when it happened. How could I have been involved?” Izaya asks. If Junichi truly wants to kill him, stalling for more time will be in vain, but Izaya doesn't think that's the case. Extremists always have a manifesto of some sort, and Izaya is literally a captive audience.

“You're always involved,” Junichi hisses. He pushes away from the chair and turns his back to Izaya, lighting another cigarette.  

“People assume I'm always involved, you mean. So you didn't get to blow up a building, so what? As if I'd go along with something like that. I don't like plans with no point to them, and if you truly knew me at all, you'd know the only side I'm on is my own, therefore betraying anyone is impossible.”

“You were involved!” Junichi snaps, whirling back around to face him. “I know you were! He died after I got out of going to prison, and you thought I hadn't suffered enough. You're involved with every gang in this city, and you think I believe you didn't send them after Ryu?”

“This paternal love of yours is truly sickening. As if you cared about that boy before he died. He only got involved with your schemes to impress you, and you never noticed him until he died for it. But it's easier to blame me, right? You can't own up to your own failures, and now—“ Izaya is struck once more, this time hard enough that he sees stars. Not good. He needs to stay conscious.

“Shut the fuck up, Izaya-san. Whatever you say now doesn't matter, don't you get it yet? I'm gonna make you suffer the way I have. You're going to lose everyone you care about and I'm gonna make you watch it happen.”

So this was the plan all along, then. Well. Izaya has to say, starting with Shinra was the obvious choice, because Shinra is a weak moron. But Junichi didn't include Celty, who defies all logic, into his plan, and of course Celty was the first person Shinra called after being stabbed. An incredibly powerful fairy bodyguard would scare anyone away from finishing the job.

As for his sisters, Izaya knows they've got their own means of protection. He keeps tabs on them at all times, and he has them trailed often, sometimes just for his own enjoyment because he knows they hate it. They also can hold their own in any fight. Izaya receives phone calls often from the academy because Mairu has been caught fighting and “terrorizing” other students. It makes him incredibly proud, though he's lectured her repeatedly on not being caught.

“If they're telling on you, you're not threatening them enough.” That's what he told her. She just rolled her eyes and told him he was a shitty brother.

And Shizuo... The idea that he could be done in by anyone in relation to this is laughable. Izaya is almost positive someone could drop a bomb directly on Shizuo, and he would survive just for the hell of it, not even knowing he almost died.

“Your plans could use a little polishing,” Izaya says after he spits out a mouthful of blood. “Then again, you haven't paid me to make them for you.”

Junichi merely grins at him, shaking his head.

“Bruised and bloody is a good look for you, Izaya-san.”

“Ah. I'll consider wearing it more often.”

Izaya watches Junichi pace around the room, likely waiting on a phone confirmation that Shizuo has been dealt with. Are they trying to kidnap him? Shoot him outright? Shizuo has been shot before and it barely fazed him, but if there are a lot of men, all with guns...? Izaya's stomach drops a bit. He doesn't want anything to happen to Shizuo because of this game he's been playing with Junichi. It's time to do something.

“So, you want me to suffer. The plan was to get rid of Shinra, set fire to my things, and then kill my sisters? But Shizu-chan was a wildcard here. You didn't expect him to be around, just like you didn't expect Celty to be there with Shinra. You're sloppy. Anyone who has ever spoken to Shinra knows about Celty, and as for Shizu-chan, I don't blame you there.” Izaya shrugs as best as he can. “He's always a wildcard. He messes up plans all the time.

“But even so, you haven't counted on so many things, like who exactly you're messing with here. Don't you know how dangerous it is to underestimate your opponents? Especially one so out of your league. I worried I was doing so to you, but then I remembered how stupid you are, and being here with you now has only solidified my suspicions. You're pathetically basic, Watanabe-san. Laughably so.”

“Oh yeah?” Junichi laughs, his grin wide and leering. His crazed eyes settle on Izaya. “And what have you got in store for me, Izaya-san? From your place tied up in that chair, it seems like you've been beaten already.”

“For starters, Shinra does business with the most dangerous men in this city, and he's made himself an asset for them. Shiki-san, in particular, found it in poor taste. I went directly to him upon my return and we negotiated some terms in dealing with you.”

“Bullshit. One of my guys was in that club when you sat with Shiki-san. He dismissed you. Heh, he called you a brat. I agreed with that.”

“As if that was our first meeting. We knew you had eyes on us, and I wanted you to believe Shiki-san didn't give a damn what happened to me. And truthfully, maybe he doesn't. But he likes my information, and he likes having Shinra around to tend to the injured, so it was bullheaded of you to overlook.”

“Where is he, then? If he's so invested in this, why the fuck isn't he here to save you and stop me?”

“Something else,” Izaya continues, “your little fire in my apartment. I had my secretary back up all my files onto her personal computer once I realized you were tragically obsessed with me. I kept the old, unimportant ones for you to peruse, and I allowed the fire to be set. I was on the couch, after all. Really, did you think I would be asleep with my door unlocked? Shizu-chan always forgets to lock it, because he's not used to being stalked. It's how I always got into his place before!”

It's clear Junichi doesn't buy it.

“So you were awake and you laid there while your things burned? You expect me to believe that?”

“I don't care if you do or not. It served its purpose, which was you thinking you had the upper hand, and as an added bonus, it made Shizu-chan more protective. With him hanging around, you'd hardly have the gall to attack me physically.” Izaya grins widely, remembering how it felt to be picked up and held tenderly by Shizuo that first time. He felt invincible.

“You're out of your mind, Izaya-san. I knew that already of course, but I don't know which is worse, you actually allowing all these things to happen to yourself, or you being desperate enough to lie about it to have me believe you're some untouchable god. I think you're a liar, and I think you're crazy enough to believe your own bullshit half the time.” Junichi moves closer, his hand reaching into his pocket. “Should have done this from the beginning. I'm gonna gag you so I don't have to listen to you anymore. Whatever it is you think, Izaya-san, you're still here, helpless. You've lost.”

Izaya can't help it. He laughs. Of all the ridiculous concepts, all the things he's gotten himself into, this takes the cake. He was just so bored before, and Junichi really is fun to mess with. But like all his toys, Izaya is tired of him now.

Oh well. Not everyone can occupy him like Shizuo. It's too much to ask of anyone.

“About that,” Izaya says, his arm stretched out in front of himself in an instant, the gleam of a knife at Junichi's throat, “next time you kidnap someone, maybe disarm them properly. And don't use rope, you has-been. Don't you know they're a relic?”

Junichi's face goes through a myriad of expressions, settling on fury. Izaya keeps the knife at Junichi's throat, reaching down with his other hand and cutting the ropes that bind him to the chair and the rope around his ankles.

“I've been kidnapped before, you know? Is this your first time holding someone captive?” Izaya laughs as he stands up, his back popping from his prior position. “How cute. Unfortunately, I'm the more experienced party here, so let me take the lead, ne?”

“So you were just fucking with me?” Junichi asks. He seems lost for a moment before his narrow. “You won't kill me. You don't have the balls.”

Izaya doesn't dignify that with an answer. He throws his knife directly down into Junichi's foot, another in his hand as soon as the first one left it. Junichi doubles over in pain, blood pouring from his injury, and when he looks up again, his eyes are full of malice.

“I told you already that you were beneath me,” Izaya says, leaning down to better look Junichi in the face. “You wanted to lecture me about hubris and not getting involved in things I don't understand, but here you are, at my feet where you belong.”

“I'm going to kill you,” Junichi hisses at him, spitting at Izaya's feet. “You hear me? If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to make that pretty face of yours twist in agony. You'll beg me for forgiveness as I take everything away from you, and my face will be the last thing you see.”

“A fate worse than death, truly, having to look at you in my final moments.” Izaya shrugs. “You really are cruel. I'll keep your threat in mind.”

“FUCK you!”

Izaya winces, narrowing his eyes. “Ah. I hate being yelled at.”

From his peripheral, he sees the door in the corner opening, some of Junichi's thugs gazing inside from all the racket. One of them lifts a gun, pointing it at Izaya while the rest of them trip over themselves trying to get inside and help their boss. Izaya runs for it, finding a pillar to duck behind. Where is he? An abandoned building? He looks around, thinking of how far he was driven, what around this area could be used as a hideout. He didn't see which direction they drove off in, but from the distance he supposes he's either in the old hospital scheduled to be demolished in a few weeks, or the local school that was recently shut down because a newer, better version was built instead a few blocks over. From the look of things, it's likely the hospital, as it seems unkempt and like it hasn't been cleaned in ages, and his suspicions are confirmed when he looks up at the pillar he's hiding behind, a sign above his head saying which direction the cardiovascular ward is in and which direction leads to the lobby.

“What to do...” Izaya muses to himself. He can keep running, try to make it out, but there are likely more men stationed at every exit. Jumping from the window could work, but he'd really rather refrain from keeping this charade going any longer. Still, he's outnumbered, and Izaya is quick on his feet, but not much use in an actual fight.

As he's deliberating, he hears a wrenching noise, and then some confused screaming. He blinks, gripping his knife tightly before he's peering out from behind the pillar. It's suddenly eerily silent, and it puts him on edge.

The sight he's greeted with is as comical as it is bizarre. Celty stands with her scythe drawn, some shadows binding the arms and legs of the men who were chasing him. At her feet is Junichi, who is being stared down by Shizuo, who is holding a door above him, threatening to crash down over Junichi's head. Behind them is...Shinra?

“Where the fuck is Izaya?! Tell me before I bash your fucking brains in!” Shizuo roars.

“He's over there! Over there!” Junichi is practically sobbing, pointing in Izaya's direction. “I barely touched him!”

“You expect me to believe you? HAH?! You send some goons after me to shoot at me, and you think I'll believe a goddamn word you say?!”

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya calls, stepping out so Shizuo can see him. He gets a good look at Shizuo, who appears to be bleeding profusely from his abdomen.

“Izaya!” Shizuo tosses the door down and leaves Celty to deal with Junichi as he sprints to where Izaya is. His relieved expression shifts to anger as he looks Izaya over. “He did this to you?”

“Did...? Oh.” Izaya remembers his own injuries. “I'm fine. Did you get shot?”

“Yeah. Real pain in the ass. Some guys showed up outside your building and shot at me. I beat their faces in and got this location from one of them before he passed out. I figured you were in danger.” Shizuo reaches out, fingers the bruises on Izaya's face, his eyes hard. “You're okay?”

“I'm not the one bleeding everywhere.” Izaya looks over to Shinra and Celty. “You really brought the whole cavalry. All for me? I'm touched.”

“I'm pissed the fuck off,” Shizuo growls. “Why do you have to get into shit like this all the time?”

“Isn't it fun to never be bored, Shizu-chan?” Izaya asks playfully, and he matches Shizuo's intensity when their lips clash together, Shizuo lifting him easily and devouring his mouth in a hungry, almost sinful way.

“You crazy bastard. Fuck you, making me worry. I'd kick your ass if I thought it'd do any good,” Shizuo huffs between kisses.

“You still could. Who knows, maybe I'd be into it?” Izaya smirks against Shizuo's mouth when Shizuo growls at him in warning.

“Oh, look! I knew it, Celty! They're a real pair of lovebirds now!” Shinra announces in a chipper voice. Izaya and Shizuo separate to glare at him. Celty is politely looking away, her posture seemingly bashful.

“Why are you here, Shinra? What good are you in a situation like this?” Izaya asks. He reaches his hand out to curl into Shizuo's hair, tugging lightly, and Shizuo hums at the contact.

“Every team needs a doctor!” Shinra says, flailing his arms a bit. “Besides, Shizuo-kun asked Celty and I both for help in dealing with you!”

“It was really more of your knowledge of where Junichi-san was,” Shizuo grumbles at him, carrying Izaya over. He kicks at Junichi's tied up body, rolling him over so they can look into his wide eyes. “What do we do with him now?”

“Hand him over to Shiki-san. He can deal with the dirty work.” Izaya hops out of Shizuo's arms and leers at Junichi. “I wasn't lying when I said Shiki-san had plans for you. You've really made him angry. Our agreement was that I'd lure you out, and here you are.”

“Izaya-kun, please don't tell me you've planned all this,” Shinra says with a frown. “Of course, I'd expect nothing less from you, but I really thought you'd learned at least one lesson about meddling in affairs.”

“I didn't plan any of it,” Izaya says breezily. “I'm just an informant, Shinra. I don't know why you paint me as some sort of mastermind. Look at my face! It's bruised and bloody. What mastermind lets themselves get beaten up?”

Shizuo is glaring at him openly, his expression saying exactly what he thinks of that explanation.

“Would you believe that I only planned a little of it?” Izaya amends.

“Don't do stuff like this by yourself anymore,” Shizuo says. “You could've died.”

“Ah, Shizu-chan, are you my partner in crime now?” Izaya taunts.

“Something like that. If I have to be.”

“Ahaha, Izaya-kun! Your face is priceless!” Shinra laughs until he doubles over from Celty's fist meeting his side.

Sorry about him.

Izaya glances at the typed message before returning Shizuo's steady gaze. Somehow, he has someone who cares this much about him and his antics, so much so that Shizuo roped Celty and Shinra into saving Izaya, who really isn't used to being saved. He could have gotten out of this alone, but having others is...easier.

“I'll tone down the theatrics, alright?” Izaya says, finally looking away from Shizuo's dark eyes.

“Damn straight. This could've been over months ago if you'd just told me where the crazy fucker was,” Shizuo says.

“There's no fun in that, Shizu-chan. You've got no eye for the finer details.”

“I'll leave those to you.”

Izaya laughs, shaking his head. He doesn't hesitate in taking Shizuo's hand when it nudges against his own.

“What a team we'll make, then.”

[aaronhart93-archive]

drunk ll aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @romanbeckett

Mentions: briefly @alison-haynes

When: August 16, 2020

Where: Roman’s apartment

Triggers: alcohol use, alcoholism, arguing, very sad and dramatic break up

Description: Roman confronts Aaron about his alcoholism, Aaron can’t handle the it and breaks up with him.

Aaron.

Aaron’s day was literally awful. He tried to do whatever he could to distract himself from the huge pit in his stomach and the fact that he’d had a fight with Roman. He hung out with his daughter, spent time with Alison, but nothing seemed to work to get the fight off of his mind. Except. Aaron smelled like a bar. Because he was at a bar. Not one in Kingsboro. He didn’t want to run into anyone he knew because he didn’t want any of his friends knowing he was getting this hammered. He was in Williamsburg instead, and for some unknown reason he still couldn’t get his boyfriend off of his mind. He closed his tab and told his sleazy Wall Street friends goodbye and took a car right to Roman’s apartment. Alison told him to give him space for the week, but since when was Aaron good at giving anyone space? He knocked. Kind of. Not really. “Roman!” He called, as he opened the door, uninvited into his boyfriend’s apartment.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman had been getting ready for the night, rubbing lotion into his calf muscles after a long hot shower. He’d had a show tonight, and was exhausted. Emotionally, he was pretty worn out as well. He jumped when he heard a voice calling for him from inside his apartment, immediately making his heart race because Ro hadn’t been expecting anyone. He wrapped his towel around his waist, and stepped out to see Aaron, immediately able to tell the man was drunk. “What are you doing?!” He asked like his boyfriend had lost his mind, looking every bit of shocked as he felt.

Aaron.

The businessman would never admit this to himself, but he was every bit of a functioning alcoholic as his father. He didn’t need to wake up and drink every day, but when he drank he drank. And he tended to do some really stupid shit when he was drunk too. Please, Aaron, for the love of God don’t do anything stupid tonight. He nearly tripped over his toes when he walked into the apartment and closed the door behind him. He looked up to see his half naked boyfriend looking at him with fear in his eyes. “Whaddaya mean what am I doin’?” He asked with a little too much pep in his voice. “I’m coming too see my boyfrien’.” He slurred, reaching out to touch his arm.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman felt really uncomfortable with the way Aaron was acting right now. He hadn’t seen him this level of wasted in awhile. He reeked of it, and Ro had already told him they needed to take some space tonight. Ro moves away with furrowed brows when Aaron tried to touch his arm, because he just...really didn’t like this. “Aaron. You’re wasted.” He reminded the man, as if he didn’t know. Maybe he just needed a reminder. “I don’t like when you get this sloshed.” Roman admitted with a disappointed look in his eye.

Aaron.

Aaron sat back on his hip and moved his arm away from Ro when he saw the look on his face. His face twisted, almost a little offended. “C’mon you’re not still mad, are you?” Aaron had no idea what the goal of this was, and probably wouldn’t even remember this in the morning. “I was jus’ out with some Wall Street assholes. They always get me mad drunk.” He let out a drunken chuckle. He tried to reach for Roman’s hand this time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Ro looked...borderline disgusted, only because this wasn’t the side of Aaron he recognized. Whenever it made an appearance, it didn’t feel like it was his boyfriend, and yeah, it annoyed him that he wasn’t allowed to have some space when he needed it. “Well, I wasn’t mad to begin with. Upset at what happened, and jus’ wanted a night alone. Now? I’m kinda mad.” He admitted, stepping back when Aaron tried to grab his hand, because he wasn’t doing this. He wasn’t letting himself get walked all over and manipulated to feel like he shouldn’t be upset right now. Aaron had a problem, and he clearly didn’t think it was a big deal. “Don’t you think you’re drinking a little excessively lately?” He asked the other male.

Aaron.

Aaron kind of just frowned when Roman told him that he was kind of mad now. “Oookay.” In a sober state, Aaron would probably be able to understand that and just leave. Actually, in a sober state, he never would have showed up here in the first place. But when Roman said next really bothered Aaron. No, he was not drinking excessively lately. These were just his drinking habits. You had to be able to drink on Wall Street or else you’d have no respect. On the other hand, there had been several times when Aaron had let his money and fame get to his head and had taken things way out of hand. But he wasn’t thinking about that now — he was actually kind of in denial about all of that. And — why was he so angry? “No.” He spat. “I told you. I was out with friends. It’s not like I was getting drunk alone at home.” Aaron had done that though. More times than he’d like to admit.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman sighed when Aaron got defensive and tried to start arguing with him. He actually rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s words, because it was rich that he thought where you drank mattered. “It doesn’t matter where you drink, Aaron. It matters how much you’re drinking, how often - and the fact that you’re overdoing it, and getting wasted off your ass.” He held out a hand, and then rubbed his face with it. He really didn’t want to have this conversation with the other right now. Aaron was too drunk to be reasoned with. “I can’t do this with you right now. You’re not even going to remember it, you’re so damn sloshed.”

Aaron.

“Oh c’mon.” Aaron threw his arms out to the side. “It’s not like I’m getting drunk every night or waking up in the morning and grabbing the bottle.” Aaron was mad and he knew Roman would be able to hear that in his voice. “I’m an adult, Roman. I can drink whenever I want to. It’s not like it’s affecting my job, or Des. And honestly if i wanted to stop drinking. I could. I’m not addicted to this stuff.” This literally sounded like an argument that his parents would have constantly. He remembered their fights like that do clearly. “No. No.” He said, shaking his head rapidly. “You’re the one who brought this up. So let’s talk.” He said, clearly very very annoyed. He was getting so defensive because deep down, he knew Roman was right but he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself yet. And Aaron hated being called out and told what to do.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman shook his head, moving his hands to his hips because this was just...not at all what he wanted, or expected to be doing this evening. “Aaron, I know you’re an adult. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink every once in awhile. I do it, too. But there’s a point when you’ve crossed a line, and it’s jus’...” Ro looked apologetic, because he didn’t want to bring this up, and he knew Aaron wouldn’t like it either, but it was true. “Both of us grew up with alcoholic fathers. You know alcoholism isn’t always what you’d think. Would you really stop drinking if I asked you to?” He wondered, still wishing they could talk about this tomorrow instead.

Aaron.

“Don’t...” Aaron ran his hand through his hair. Aaron just really hated when people brought up his dad like that. Aaron occasionally brought up the fact that his dad wasn’t the greatest person in the world, but Aaron still idolized him so much. This... Especially coming from Ro, it just hurt right now. “...talk about my dad like that right now, Roman.” He begged, anger in his tone. He completely ignored the fact that Roman told Aaron he was crossing the line. Because he was. But alcoholics couldn’t admit that. “Yes...Roman. Like i said, i can stop drinking whenever I want to.” He rolled his eyes and huffed in frustration.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman knew he’d hit a nerve, but he wasn’t being dishonest. Aaron knew that too, he had to, that’s why he was being so damn defensive. “What do you want from me here?! You barge into my apartment without any warning on a night I needed space - drunk as hell, out of your mind, and you want to have a serious conversation with me that you can’t even handle? I’m telling you I’m concerned about your drinking, and you don’t give a shit, because you think what you’re doing is okay. It’s not okay.” He snapped.

Aaron.

That — Roman has never spoken to him that way. “Wh-what are you even talking about?” Aaron didn’t have a good response. But he was angry he was being called out for this. No one had ever called him out like that. Who would dare? In typical Aaron fashion, he got even more heated than he already was. “I came over here to to make up with you and clear the air. Clearly you have no interest in doing that. You’re the one that brought this up not me. And why is this just bothering you now? You’ve known this about me. If this bothers you, well fuck. Let me tell you all about how I’ve over screwed small businesses out of thousands of dollars and inevitably put them out of business and convinced people to sell me their company for way less than what it‘s worth...all to put money straight into my fucking pocket. That shit’s not okay, Roman.” He spat, raising his voice.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman looked at his boyfriend like he didn’t even recognize him, because he didn’t. At all. This wasn’t the man that he cuddled with at night, made cookies with, tucked Des into bed with. This was a different side of Aaron, and he didn’t like it. “Don’t fucking yell at me. Once again, you’re drunk, and it’s so STUPID, and pointless to argue when you’re like this, Aaron. Nothing I tell you right now is going to be to your liking, and you can’t reason right now.” He shook his head, really not wanting to think about anything Aaron just told him about what he’d done to small business’. That wasn’t what he wanted to think about right now out of all things. “Fine, you’re a grown man, do whatever the fuck you want, but don’t do it around me. This isn’t you trying to make up, its you trying to cover everything up with alcohol.”

Aaron.

Don’t do it around me. Why did that set Aaron off so much? Everything about this conversation was setting him off. He hated being called out like this. He was too hard headed and stubborn to realize that Roman was just worried about him like anyone would be about their partner. But he was covering everything up with alcohol. That was always his answer. It never fixed anything. It only made his problems worse. Exhibit A: “Fine. I won’t do it around you. I won’t do anything around you anymore then.” Aaron was seeing three of Roman right now.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Ro reeled back a bit when Aaron said he wouldn’t do anything around him anymore, a little taken off guard as far as where this was going. They rarely fought, and it kind of sucked to feel like when they did, it was going to get this extreme. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Aaron??” He asked, his voice breaking a bit at the end. Ro didn’t like the way this felt, and was terrified that this was Aaron’s way of breaking up with him.

Aaron.

Aaron has always been an angry drunk. He was an angry person in general, especially after his dad died and alcohol only exacerbated that. The only recent times he’d had fun when he was drinking was when he was with Roman. Other than that, he always ended up breaking furniture or in a strangers bed. “You know what the fuck it means, Roman. If you wanna sit here and call me an alcoholic and tell me you don’t want any part of it. Then don’t.” Aaron was fuming, he had no idea what he was doing. He was so mad, he just wanted to make Roman upset. What a sociopath. He’d regret this in the morning — if he could even remember it.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman looked so hurt, but he didn’t want to just...buckle. He wasn’t going to beg Aaron to see his side, he wouldn’t beg him to stay. Roman had been screwed over enough in his life to feel like being walked all over again. If Aaron was going to act like an ass, and push Ro away for being upset with him, then so fucking be it. “Fine.” His voice was far from steady, though he so badly had wanted it to be. “Having an issue with substance abuse is something I know very well, Aaron. But you can’t just deny deny deny. The fact that you don’t even see a problem with this concerns me. If you want me to be okay with you hurting yourself, and our relationship, then fine. Break up with me. Do it.” He held up his arms, tears pricking at his eyes because he hated saying those words so much.

Aaron.

Wait -- no. That wasn't what Aaron wanted. He was so in love Roman, and wanted to be with him for the rest of his fucking life. He wanted Roman to be the father or his child and future child. Baby Stevie. Aaron wasn't ready for this. But....this was so typical Aaron sabotaging his own relationships when he was falling way too hard. Because he was scared out of his mind. Going soft. His dad always told him never to go soft. The business comes first. The money comes first. God, he wished he could get his dad's voice out of his fucking head. The voice that told him to be ruthless. His heart sank to his stomach. He couldn't believe he was actually about to do this, but he was too stubborn to admit he was wrong and too impulsive to even think twice about it. "Fine." He repeated. "I'm breaking up with you."

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman felt cold. He was actually shaking when Aaron just said the words, so steely, like he didn’t even care. Ro tensed his jaw, and then wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly a lot more aware of how naked he was. Fuck. He felt sick, the bile was already rising at the back of his throat, and he was gonna break. Aaron needed to get out before he did that. “Okay.” His voice was unsteady, and his eyes not even focusing on the smaller. “You can go now.” Please. just go. Leave Ro to break down in private.

Aaron.

Aaron, you fucking dumbass. Take it back, you drunk idiot. Aaron just couldn't stand being wrong. Not even for a second. He knew Roman was right and he was putting up so many walls so he didn't have to admit it. Aaron just stared at Roman for a second, too drunk to see how hurt he was. "Fine." He spat, practically tripping over himself as he left his ex-boyfriend's apartment.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman was hoping Aaron would realize how ridiculous he was being, but instead he just said fine, and turned around to leave. As soon as the door closed, Ro stood there for several minutes. He wasn’t sure how many. He just kept thinking maybe the other male would come back in, and apologize. When he didn’t, Roman felt his lip quiver, and then came the tears. He hated crying, he hated breaking down like this. But, it was like nothing could ever go right for a decent amount of time for him. He’d gotten so attached to Aaron, and Des, and now they were gone. Just like that. Tonight he was just going to crawl in bed, cry himself to sleep, and try to force himself out of it in the morning. He still had his last week of rocketman, and somehow he had to make it through it.

Aaron.

When Aaron got home, he went straight to the liquor cabinet. As if he needed more to drink. He walked out onto the balcony of his big-ass penthouse that looked over the city. His city. The city that he worked so hard to take over. But what if that wasn't enough? He could have all the money in the world, sometimes it felt like he did, and that didn't even make Aaron as happy as Roman had made him these past couple of months. He'd spent his whole life thinking that the more money he had, the more women he had sex with, the better his life would be. But Roman had completely changed that ideal all in a matter of months. Now it was over. But Aaron wasn't thinking about that now. All he was thinking about what -- oh, god. He dropped his glass on the balcony and quickly darted into the bathroom, hearing the glass shatter behind him. He leaned over the toilet and projectile vomited into the toilet. He didn't even have the strength to make it to his bed. He just laid down next to the toilet and knocked immediately.

[silvana-fangirls]

Good Mourning [KogKag]

Fandom:

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale

Relationships:

Higurashi Kagome/Kouga

SUMMARY: After they destroyed Naraku and Kagome wished for the Shikon no Tama to disappear, it not only took the sorrow, pain and loss with it. But something Kagome thought was genuinely hers.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST FOR YOU TO READ IT IN AO3 AND/OR FF.NET (find it under the same name, or in my posts under #silvana writes : good mourning

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A TAG LIST, HIT MY ASK BOX!

CHAPTER 3

Just one more hit and then we're through 'Cause you could never love me back Cut every tie I have to you 'Cause your love's a fucking drag

But I need it so bad

- 'Nicotine' Panic! At the Disco

Kouga gripped the edges of the make-shift rock table so hard it was threatening to break as soon as he entered the private den where he usually held his war-related meetings with his higher-ranked pack members.

He let out a raged, shaky breath, while his clawed fingers grinded over the rocky surface causing an unpleasant sound; all in order to keep himself from turning to dust the entire fucking mountain.

His whole body was tensed up, all muscles flexed so hard that if anyone touched him right now would've said he was made of solid iron. His lips twitched, fangs pocking out dangerously, threatening to let out a spine-chilling growl. His eyebrows, deep in a frown, as he closed his eyes tightly, hiding their now blood-red color. His nostrils flared, intoxicated in a scent he was not supposed to smell ever fucking again.

His eyes, haloed crimson, only snapped open when he heard his two idiotic 'second in command' entering the den, to then stand behind him as they fought nervous fidgets.

It took everything inside him not to rip them apart right there and then.

"I wonder if I haven't made myself clear enough before" He said, some words coming out in animalistic snarls, as he refused to turn to them still. If he turned before calming his youkai down, he'll rip them apart before at least hearing what could've possessed them to do what they did; and calming down was proving to be a difficult task right now, with her scent, her aura, her everything taking over him like some goddamn poison.

"K-Kouga w-we can expla-" Ginta started to say, as his voice trembled in fear.

Koga didn't even give him a chance to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, you fucking better!" He shouted, youkai voice interlacing with his, as the rock table snapped in two.

The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin when Kouga turned to face them.

"I wanna know what in hell possessed you two, to decide it was great idea to go against a direct order of mine" He snarled, but felt himself calm down just enough so his youkai was tamed down. "Every fucking wolf in here was ordered to never, under any circumstances, let her step a foot on the mountain. So, help me understand how you two that knew exactly what went down, out of every single demon, brought her here?!"

"W-We didn't want to, I swear!" Hakkaku stuttered out. "We told her that we were ordered not to let her in the mountain, but she refused to listen!"

"Y-Yeah, she basically black-mailed us!" Ginta agreed quickly.

"What?" Kouga spat out, not really as a question but more in disbelief at how much stupidity was coming out of his betas' mouths.

"W-We explained her the situation, a-and told her to go home, told her it was for the best-" Hakkaku started.

"A-And told her how dangerous it was for her to be in the woods at the moment!" Ginta added.

"And we told her we weren't allowed to take her to the mountains so w-we were just gonna escort her out of the woods" Hakkaku continued.

"A-And then she was like 'Pity, I'm not going anywhere'" Ginta said, trying to imitate Kagome's voice in a high pitch tone.

"Y-Yeah! And then she was like 'And if you're not going to help me, I'll get to the mountains on my own. I'm not going home until I talk to Kouga'" Hakkaku said then, now also imitating Kagome's voice.

"And you know how stupid that was gonna be! The woods packed with northerns and westerns, and the eating humans' treaty! Kami, she was already wounded as well"

Kouga's youkai flared at this, and he wanted to punch it for it.

Of course he knew she was wounded. It was one of the reasons he turned back to the mountains, fast as lighting, a few minutes after he felt her presence near his home while he was miles away from it.

Kouga was not only a wolf demon, but an alpha at that. His senses excelled almost every demon's alive, and also excelled all of his pack member's senses by far. He could hear, smell and sense everything that was miles away from him. On top of that, Kagome was his-

He started to sense her just as soon as she was a few miles away from her village.

He was far away at that moment, nearing the Southern Lands when he first felt her.

He found it odd, but his mind soon figured that maybe she was traveling somewhere. His lands, while considerably far away, surrounded her village somewhat. So, she would've had to cross them if she wanted to travel pretty much anywhere.

The fact that it was the first time ever she moved from that village was nagging him, but he ignored it.

He needed to triple check that the Southern tribe was still set on not partaking on the war. They were having enough on their plates as it was. While the Eastern tribe still outnumbered the Northern and Western tribes combined (just one of the several reasons there was a war in the first place) and his men were undoubtedly stronger and smarter than their opponents, he wasn't sure if they would be able to handle another tribe joining the opposite side, no matter how superior they were in numbers or battling skills.

He knew that the leaders of the North tribe were going to try to lure the South to join them. So, he had to make sure that the Southern alpha was still set on his first decision; and if he was not, Kouga would enjoyed to help him stay put.

That's why he didn't stop nor turned around when he felt her. After all, only one of his many forests was the one with that 'treaty' he made.

'Every nearby village knows what's going on' he remembered thinking. 'I'm certain hers' knows too, and if they don't, villagers on her way will warn her' was another thought that crossed his mind at that time 'She's not stupid'.

Though, something that was nagging his mind just a bit was the fact that she was almost alone. He could feel the neko-demon with her, but no one else. No mutt.

He briefly wondered if it was because InuYasha was a hanyou, that's why he was having trouble sensing him, and her other travel companions were human. Sure, she was human as well, but she was… she was Kagome, of course he'd feel her.

What he needed to do regarding the Southern tribe was extremely important, and could not wait. He was in charge of a numerous pack facing a war right now. He was an alpha, he couldn't turn back on his tribe, much less for her, out of all beings in the universe.

Not to mention, he truly didn't want to see her to begin with.

So, he continued to run his 'errands' while unconsciously keeping tabs of her movements.

He was done dealing with the Southern alpha when his heart nearly skipped a beat.

She was nearing the edge of the forest.

Why on hell she was nearing the edge of the forest.

Without so much a word, and as soon as he ruthlessly forced the South to stay out of his way, he bolted towards his lands.

Moments later, when she was already undoubtedly flying across the forest, she was wounded, badly.

With now crimson eyes, and growling through sharp-mortal fangs, he picked up his pace.

He mentally thanked whatever god or devil was around when Ginta and Hakkaku found her and saved her.

He allowed himself to calm down once he stopped smelling blood pouring out of her.

Still, he was angry at himself. Sure, he could feel bad if anything ever happened to her, but the way he reacted? Desperation, madness, rage consuming him in his entirety, his youkai almost taking completely over after centuries of being in complete control over it.

This tiny woman always sent him over the edge.

He reflected that no matter how much distance was between them, how many years they spent without even catching a glimpse of the other, he would always react this way when it came to her. After all, it was natural, quite literally. She was his, regardless of whatever she tried to convince herself. He was hers, she would never be able to be indifferent when it came to him, no matter how hard she tried.

She would always be his, she would always feel like a part of him.

So, he would always lose the reigns when it came to her, no matter how badly he didn't wanna see her ever again.

Still, he could not fit in his own and utter shock when he realized that not only she was indeed going for his den, but that fucking Ginta and Hakkaku were escorting her.

Just when he thought they'd matured at last.

"W-What would you have us do in his situation?" Ginta asked, bringing Kouga back to the present issue.

"I would've you take her back to where she came from, dragging her by the feet if fucking needed!" Kouga growled out, making them both jump back. "You should've escorted her back to her damned village by force if she refused, I don't give a fuck; place her on the mutt's arms with a bow on top, and tell him to put a freaking leash on her if necessary to keep this from happening ever again!"

"Kouga you know her better than we do! She would've tried again! You know how she is, sis would never-" If looks could kill, Hakkaku would've dropped dead on the spot. "KAGOME! I mean Kagome" He corrected himself instantly.

One of the other explicit, direct orders from Kouga was to never, ever call her sister again.

"You do know that there's a hundred demons outside waiting for me to execute you?" Kouga said through a clenched jaw.

Hell, while he didn't want to kill them, because they were Ginta and Hakkaku after all, he did want to hurt them, really, really bad.

Hakkaku gulped down in fear and Ginta sighed.

"We know" Ginta said looking down at the floor. "And we understand and accept if you do" Kouga raised an eyebrow at this.

"We do?" Hakkaku squeaked out, looking at his best friend in disbelief.

"Yes" Ginta said, without a single hesitation. "At least I do" Kouga blinked in surprise at this. "I don't regret what I did" Kouga clenched his jaw "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if she died when I could've protected her" Ginta continued, and it took everything inside Kouga not to react to the statement "I mean… She's Kagome" He added, and Kouga knew he meant 'she's sister'. "So, yeah… I'm good with whatever punishment you see fit, Alpha Kouga"

Kouga didn't know how he managed not to flinch at that. Everyone in the pack called him that, except these two. So, it only meant one thing. Whatever Ginta was saying was 100% serious.

"Y-Yeah, me too!" Hakkaku said after a moment.

Kouga sighed and tried not to give any other sort of reaction.

He couldn't blame them for the way they were acting. Wolf demons were extremely familiar beings, they depended on each member of the pack, just like each member of the pack depended on them. Kagome was his intended mate, their Alpha's intended mate. It's no surprise that they would've tried to protect her. But, it wasn't only that. Ginta and Hakkaku were Kagome's friends, too, unlike the rest of the pack.

Not a single pack member would dare go against an Alpha's direct order. Not only because there're definitely less painful ways to die, but because it was also a sign of disrespect towards the pack, too.

But, Ginta and Hakkaku would, because Kagome (at least once upon a time) was their friend.

It'll almost felt unfair to blame them. But, they had to be punished, anyone else would've dealt with his ruthless fury, he couldn't just skip past them completely.

So the question was, what to do now?

"You need to get rid of her" Kouga finally said, earning a dumbfounded look from both of them. "And you'll loose your privileges until I feel you can be trusted again" He added, frowning at them while showing fangs to let them know he was being serious. "Go, now" He said. "I don't want to see her when I get out of here"

"Kouga there's something else, though…" Ginta said, and as if he was reading his mind, Hakkaku turned to him with a concerned glance as well.

Kouga said nothing, tired of discussing and negotiating with this two. They should've just shut their mouths and run towards the village with Kagome in hand while thanking Kami he had mercy on them by now. So, he just waiting for him to continue.

"There's not a single trace of InuYasha on her"

X

It was funny.

It was funny how she was almost atop of a mountain right now, yet she felt the Earth swallowing to the very center.

Kirara, still on her smaller form, was growling consistently while each hair on her pelt was up… but, that didn't stop anyone from looking at her.

As soon as Ginta and Hakkaku disappeared from her sight, tailing a raging Kouga, each and every single pair of eyes (at least the alive ones) turned to her, accusingly.

At first, she pointedly ignored every of them.

Her eyes went down to the ground, as she tried to focus on petting Kirara as best as she could.

It worked well at first, but now? It was impossible to ignore the comments that were being whispered all around her.

"How dare she come back after rejecting him like that?!"

"And for a disgusting hanyou, no less!"

"Great timing, too! In the middle of the war no less, as if Kouga wasn't stressed enough as it is!"

"He better not take her back, after she disrespected him like that!"

"I agree, showing up here when she pleases, the nerve!"

"Kouga deserves so much better"

"Most of the females are prettier than her, too…"

"Maybe that mutt kicked her out, that's why she's here with her tail between her legs!"

"Don't be stupid, it's because of the bond! It was only a matter of time…"

"Still, he shouldn't take her back"

"Why would he? He has enough female attention here…"

Kagome felt like she sunk down half her size, and tears were pricking the corners of her eyes.

They were right, for the most part. Except for the part where they implied that she rejected him knowing the truth, which she didn't. She knows she should've given him the benefit of the doubt, but how could she know?

'He has enough female attention here'

That broke Kagome's heart in a trillion pieces. Sure, she knew better than to expect Kouga to be mate-less and just loyal to a woman who has rejected him, told him she never wanted to see him again, and disappeared for three years. Still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a truck from back home was running over her heart over and over.

She tried to calm herself down, and remember Sango's advice.

She wasn't here to be with him, at least that wasn't the most important thing.

She was here to apologize. To accept her mistake, beg for forgiveness, and hope Kouga could at least take her back as a friend.

Still, it appeared that some part of her held to the hope of him still being in love with her.

That part of her was having the butt-kick of it's life.

What made her more angry, though, was the fact that these demons were probably reading her like an open book. Smelling each and every emotion their comments were causing on her.

"And to think poor Ginta and Hakkaku have to pay the price of this"

"I know… Kouga's probably gonna hold their execution this evening"

That made her head snap up.

Execution?!

She knew they were in trouble, big trouble, but definitely not that kind of trouble!

Ginta and Hakkaku were Kouga's best friends, for crying out loud! Surely he wouldn't!

In the midst of panic, Kagome was still able to focus for a moment and search for Kouga's aura. It took her almost a millisecond, it was impossible for her not to feel him, anyways. Not with him being close to her.

Without sparing so much a glance to the wolf demons looking at her, she started to walk towards where she felt him, as wolf demons got out of her way, too shocked to even stop her.

She followed the feeling towards a tunnel and after a while, still gripping Kirara on her arms, she came face to face with an entrance to a smaller den.

Guarded by two wolf demons.

"Eh! What are you doing here?!" One of them instantly exclaimed at the sight of her.

"This tunnel is off-limits! Only the ones that were explicitly called by Alpha Kouga can be here!" The other one added.

"Let me in, I need to speak to him" Kagome said, unintimidated by the two bulky wolf demons.

"Haven't you heard us, lil human? You're not supposed to be here!" The first one exclaimed pointedly stepping in front of the entrance, blocking her way.

"I won't ask again. I need to speak to him, now!" Kagome said unwavering.

"Now listen here you little bit-"

It happened way faster than any of them could've expected. A shot of lilac beaming reiki shot from her hand and towards them. It was in no way something that could've harmed them gravely, just superficial. Something to simply leave them unconscious for a little while.

She expected them to understand the urgency in her tone of voice, but it became clearer and clearer with each passing second that whatever was going on between wolf demons, something that they would never do was disobey their Alpha, under any circumstances.

After looking down at the unconscious demons on the ground, checking for anything out of what she expected, she turned to the entrance and without a second thought, running the fur that was serving as a door/curtain.

The den was even further away from what she anticipated, not just at the other side of the 'curtain'. She had to walk a shorter tunnel once again, before finally entering a small, fire-lit den.

The three people in there instantly turned to her.

Her heart leaped to her throat once her chocolate brown eyes connected with icy blue ones.

"Kouga" She whispered under her breath again, much like a few moments ago, when she first saw him.

And, just like when he first saw her, he turned to Ginta and Hakkaku with a deep frown.

"Take her back to her village, now" He growled at both of them, making Kagome shiver at both: the sound of his voice for the first time in years and the danger in his growl.

Ginta opened his mouth, as if to object, but he didn't have the chance to let out a sound.

"Ginta, Kami help me, if a single sound comes out of your goddamn mouth, I'll rip you apart right here, right now." Kouga growled again, making Ginta snap his mouth shut instantly.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed as soon as Kouga's threat was out. "You can't murder them!" Kouga turned to her again, looking rather confused this time. "I heard about the execution! You can't kill them!"

"What?!" He exclaimed nearly bewildered. It was the first word he directly spoke to her. 'What'.

"It was me! I blackmailed them. I know they disobeyed your orders, but I put them both in an impossible position. It's not their fault! You can't kill them because of me!" Kagome was nearly babbling now, tears running from the corners of her eyes. "They were just trying to help me! I knew they wouldn't let me go on my own because they're both so kind hearted! And I took advantage of it! It was me! Please don't kill them, they're your best friends, you cannot kill them!"

"No one's getting killed!" Kouga finally exclaimed in exasperation.

Kagome stopped abruptly.

"What? There won't be an execution?" Kagome asked.

"No si-Kagome" Hakkaku said "Kouga decided for another punishment. We appreciate your concern, tho-"

"Alright, that's enough. Take her to her village now before I change my mind" Kouga said, and started to walk towards one of the edges of the den, where another rock- makeshift table was and Kagome watched as Ginta and Hakkaku walked towards her with sympathetic look on their faces.

She instantly took a step back from them.

"Wait-No!" She said, bringing Kirara even closer to her as she stepped back. "I told them I'm not going anywhere until we talk!" She said, turning to Kouga that was now a few meters away from her.

She literally saw how all his muscles stiffened in tension and how his aura grew in anger.

Kagome gulped down, as she also bit her lips. She knew she was pressing her luck and probably shouldn't be speaking at him like this, all things considered. But, what else what she supposed to do to make him listen?

It was crystal clear that he did not want her here.

"Oh, you told them?" Kouga scoffed back instantly in a sarcastic manner, making Kagome regret instantly the way she spoke the words. "So, of course, you expect them to do as you say, over their orders, my orders"

"I didn't mean it like that-" Kagome said with a small voice, glancing at the ground once again, but Kouga quickly interrupted her.

"Seriously, though, Kagome" Kouga then asked, and Kagome turned her eyes on him once again. He was looking straight at her this time, eyes piercing hers, unwavering. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

The sound of her name coming out of his lips after so long sent hot jolts all over her body, yet question and the harshness of it crushed Kagome's heart, but she didn't blame him for asking that nor for being angry. Who wouldn't?

"I'm here to talk" She said once again.

"Talk about what, exactly?" He scoffed and took a few steps towards her but still maintained a considerable distance between them. "There's absolutely nothing to talk about, Kagome. It's been three fucking years, for Kami's sake!" He nearly roared, making Kagome flinch. "What on hell makes you think that I'll sit down and chat with you after all this fucking time?!" Kagome opened her mouth to talk, but he stepped even closer to her, and interrupted her before she could say anything. "And in the middle of the fucking war, no less! Like I actually have the time for more shit!"

"I didn't know you were at war!" Kagome finally roared back. "I only knew when Ginta and Hakkaku told me after they found me!"

"And yet you still decided to put up your little stunt and force them to bring you here instead of turning around and going back home!" Kouga raged on. "Ya know, you should be grateful it was them the ones to find you and bring you here. Because if it were any of my other pack members they would be fucking dead already!"

"I'm sorry, alright?! I know I shouldn't be inconveniencing you right now, but I couldn't wait any longer!" She defended herself.

"And just how much did you wait, Kagome? A year? A month? Or was it just a few days ago that the mutt finally got tired of you so you decided to settle for the next best as soon as you could?!" Kouga growled out.

"It's not like that, Kouga, and you know it!" Kagome said, now actually feeling offended. Yes, she knew that once upon a time (without knowing any better) she chose InuYasha over Kouga but it was because she didn't know the truth back then and she knew Kouga knows that! Besides, implying that she simply just moved on to the next plate once she had her fill of the first one, was an insult.

"I don't care, Kagome! I, sincerely, don't give a fuck!" Kouga said with such an angered force that made everyone in the room flinch and step back. "This is not your place." He said then. "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home with your mate or your family or whoever the fuck is there, and you should go back there right now" he said with finality. "Take her home" He turned to the two frightened wolf demons that were looking at both of them in terrified shock and turned his back to her again as he moved towards the edge of the den once more.

The two of them, with cautious movements, started walking towards Kagome.

"No" She said, and snatched back the arm that Ginta tried to grab. "I refuse to go anywhere until we talk!" She loudly declared again, frowning and watching as Kouga turned to her once again.

"Then they'll drag you there, I don't care" He said and pretended to shrug her off.

"Then I'll come back" Kagome said challengingly, frown deep on her face as she advanced towards him. "And again, and again, and again! No matter how many times you have them push me away, I will return! And if I have to purify every single one of your wolves to get you to talk to me, I will!"

Kouga eyed her, head to toe, without giving away any emotion for her to read, before he turned to his packmates again.

"Are you to deaf or something?" He simply said, and Kagome watched from the corner of her eye how both of them trembled but advanced nervously towards her again.

"Ginta, Hakkaku, I swear to god, if you lay a single claw on me I'll knock you both unconscious" She said threateningly and shot a spark of her reiki for good measure, making both of them instantly retract from her.

"B-Boss?" Hakkaku stuttered, as both of them looked towards their Alpha, unsure of what to do.

Kouga didn't even glance at them, his icy blue eyes still on Kagome, surveying her, observing her, with that very same aura he had when she first saw him. His body tensed up, eyes sharp… just as if he was about to be attacked, as if he was about fight.

Kagome knew that he wouldn't dare touch her right now, not like she would ever hurt him, but still. He also wouldn't let his packmates suffer a potential purification just to get her out of her mountains.

She also knew, that this was because Kouga didn't know the extend of her powers now. Back when he knew the extend of them, she could only summon them when using a bow and arrow.

This was unknown territory, and wolves weren't anything but cautious and protective of their pack members. He wouldn't risk it… but she also didn't want to corner him like this.

He was mad, and rightfully so. He wanted her out of his home, also rightfully so, since she came here uninvited. Plus, not only she was cornering him right now, but also challenging his power, his position as Alpha… in his home, in front of his packmates.

Still, she needed to talk to him and she refused to spend another day away from him without explaining herself.

They needed to meet at a middle point, though.

"I'm sorry, Kouga" She said at first, but he didn't even flinch. Attack mode still on. "I know you don't want to talk to me or listen to me or even have me near you right now" She said. "And you're absolutely right to feel that way. It's not fair for me to force you to talk right now, I don't wanna force you if you don't want to" It was only then when Kouga blinked at her, probably believing she was gonna accept and turn back to where she came from. "But I can't go back. I can't stay away from you without me saying what I need to say. Without you listening to me" She continued, her voice wavering while her eyes got teary. "I will stay here" She stated, watching as Kouga clenched his jaw at this. "I will stay here, waiting as long as I have to. Weeks, months, years, whatever. I'll wait here until you're ready to hear me talk." Kouga frowned even deeper to her now, and she felt Ginta and Hakkaku's eyes looking at her disbelievingly. "I won't bother you, I promise. I'll help you, help with the war. I'll earn my keep, or whatever you need. But, I can't go back. I can't go back, I'm sorry"

She didn't know if Kouga understood what she was saying or not. She didn't know if he understood the real necessity she had to stay -to stay with him- at least until they talked.

However, she did know that he understood the fact that she was going to fight -and most likely win- if they tried to remove her from this mountains.

It felt like time was passing agonizingly slow as she waited for a reaction coming from him, but Kouga didn't even flinch for the longest time, until he turned to his betas once again.

"She's your problem" He said at first "You'll deal with her. You'll find her something to do, where she'll be staying, what she'll be eating" Kagome couldn't help but feel completely bothersome and unwanted. The scene looked like a father talking to his children about a stray puppy he didn't want. "I don't want to be bothered by this not even once." He said the last part looking pointedly at her, to then turn to his betas once again. "I trust I'm being crystal clear this time" He finally said, nearly growling at the end.

"Y-Yes, Kouga!" Ginta and Hakkaku stuttered out.

One last menacing look was all it took for them to start to dragging Kagome out of the den they were currently in. Here only choice being to accept being dragged by them while looking at Kouga until they finally left the den.

The look Kouga gave her as she exited the den was one she never in a million years expected to ever get from him, and one she prayed she never have to see again being directed at her.

She swallowed the need to cry and she directed her focus at both wolf demons walking her through the maze of dens.

She wondered how anyone could find their way in this mountains.

'Scent, for starters. Plus, they lived here their entire lives, probably.' her mind instantly supplied, as she started to get nervous as to how she was supposed to survive in here in the first place if she couldn't even find her way through the tunnels. Sure, she could find her way to Kouga, just as easily as she could breathe. His aura so present and intense, constantly luring her towards it now that they were so close. But, she figured that Kouga would rather have his eyes clawed out than having her near, at least at the moment. He needed time and she understood, so keeping out of his way for now was for the best.

Ginta and Hakkaku stopped suddenly, in front of another door/curtain fur pelt hanging in front of what seemed a small den.

"Here, this should suffice" Ginta said, moving the pelt out of the way for them to go in.

When the three of them were inside the pitch black den, Kagome felt Hakkaku move towards one of the edges, and she hear her grab what she thought were rocks, before hearing how he friction them to create fire, and then light a large wax candle that was sitting in a carved hole in the right wall of the den.

The small place light up instantly, warm orange light washing over it.

Kagome instantly turned to observe the room they where in. It was small, just like she thought when she was at the entrance, maybe even a bit smaller than her room back home and definitely smaller than the hut she had back in Kaede's village.

She could see there were two more carved wholes with candles, one in the left cavern wall and once behind the makeshift bed (considerably large for the room, actually) made of a base of straws and topped with a thin fur pelt that she couldn't identify from what it was made. A tiny make-shift rock table besides the bed, some leftover-burnt out firewood in a corner that she supposed was a spot for a fireplace during winter, and that was pretty much it.

Not that she complained at all, it was actually a lot more than she expected.

"Didn't wolves sleep in packs?" Her thoughts came out of her mouth.

They both look at her a little bit surprised, probably not expecting such knowledge.

"Unmated wolves sleep together" Hakkaku clarified "There are two larger dens, for unmated males and females"

"Yeah, when a couple mates, though, we have several of these smaller dens available for them" Ginta added.

"Oh!" Kagome said, kind of embarrassed. "You shouldn't be giving this to me, then! I can sleep with the rest of the unmated girls!" Kagome assured.

Even if she would definitely be nervous and uncomfortable sleeping with a bunch of stranger girls that surely hated her, she didn't want to take any advantage of anything in any way that might bother Kouga.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ginta quickly assured with an easy smile. "You'll be much comfortable here! Plus, much safer as well!"

Kagome's eyes widened at the last statement. What the heck does that meant? Was she in actual danger in here? Could some of Kouga's wolves actually hurt her? She knew that they were angry at her and what she did, but Kouga was letting her stay here. Surely they wouldn't attack her, right?

Hakkaku, instantly noting the look in her eyes, elbowed Ginta.

"It's not what you're thinking!" He was quick to say. "He meant because of the war. Things are really rushed this days, and while some of the females help with the injured and with the den, there are some that go to fight, too. You wouldn't be able to rest properly there. Also, this den is much, much deeper in the mountain than the ones for the unmated, because normally mated couples also have their cubs with them, so unmated wolves can protect them if there's an attack or something"

Kagome nodded in understanding at his explanation. It made sense. Still…

"I still don't want to use a potential couple's den just because!" She explained. They both laughed quietly at this.

"There won't be any potential couples anytime soon, with the war going on and stuff. Newly mated couples are real unstable, no one won't risk it right now" Hakkaku said. "Plus, we have so many of this smaller dens, we're always building more of them"

"Yeah, don't worry, sis!" Ginta said with a warm smile, and it took him about to seconds to realize what he said. "I mean Kagome!"

Kagome smiled at him, half softened by the fact that the 'nickname' just came out of him so easily, and half saddened at how he was always correcting himself after using it.

Ginta noticed her smile, and couldn't help but smile a bit sadly as well.

"Old habits die hard, I guess" He said. Kagome only smiled wider.

"You don't have to stop calling me sister, you know" She said, pleading in her mind.

Both wolf demons shared a look, to then turn to her defeated.

"It's not really our choice" Hakkaku said, without needing to explain any further.

Kagome felt something pierce through her heart for the millionth time in the day. Part of her wanted to know everything Kouga has ordered his wolves to do or not to do in regards of her, but it'd only help in hurting her even more. So, she decided to change the subject instead.

She briefly wondered if she was wasting their time or not, but quickly chose to ignore that wonder. It's been three years and a hell of a day, a little catch up wouldn't hurt them that much, right?

"So" Kagome said. "There's a war going on… for three years"

"Yeah, demon wars usually don't last very long. We thought it would be over in a year or so but then the Western tribe decided to join in just when we were about to win, so…" Ginta said.

"It's it okay if I ask why is there a wolf demon war in the first place?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah, yeah. There's no problem. I mean, now that you will be staying here and stuff I don't see one at least" Hakkaku shrugged. "There's no 'a' reason, I guess. I mean, it definitely has to do with Kouga's ruling over the Eastern tribe, but there are several complaints you can say"

"Complaints?" Kagome asked a little bit perplexed. Sure, she never gave too much thought into Kouga's rule over his tribe, at least not into the details. But, she always thought he was an exceptional leader, even back when she first met him. It was just the way his people looked up to him. There was so much admiration and even devotion in his pack's eyes. Also the fact like he was so young (she didn't acknowledge this back then, but know she learned how to read demon's ages). To be such a young demon and have such numerous and not to mention devoted followers it surely meant something.

"Yeah, Kouga was getting too powerful in the eyes of certain wolf tribes" Ginta explained.

'Ah' that made much more sense.

"We grew so much in numbers in such a short amount of time once we defeated Naraku, they got scared. Even more so because in some other regions fertility is definitely not the same." Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, also the fact that Kouga started training us scared them. They wondered if it was because we wanted to overtake them, but it just was because Kouga suffered a lot when so many of our packmates got killed by Naraku, he just didn't want to go through the same thing ever again" Ginta said.

"And also the fact that he's so young, gaining all this power" Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, I suppose I'd be jealous too" Kagome said, earning a light chuckle from both of them. "You said that the Western tribe decided to join later… So, it was the Northern one that declared war first?"

They both seemed to get suspiciously nervous at that question.

Kagome eyed them carefully.

"Uh… yeah, they did" Ginta said, rubbing the back of his head rather nervously.

"Why, though? I mean, I guess they were worried about your growing power but why don't just settle for a treaty or something? Or make sure you weren't trying to overtake them before attacking?" Kagome pressed on. There was something going on here, but she just couldn't figure out what. She doubted Kouga was indeed trying to overtake every other tribe, and she also doubted he wasn't open for treaties or agreements.

"Well… we kinda uhm-" Hakkaku tried to say.

"Offended them?" Ginta supplied.

"Offended them?" Kagome parroted. "How so?"

"Well, uh… remember how I told you there were in fact several complaints about Kouga's Alpha position?" Ginta said and Kagome just nodded. "Well, it's very unheard of and unusual for an Alpha to be leading so many years without a uhm… mate"

Kagome blushed crimson at this. 'Oh, my god, please no'

It was already a big fucking deal that she rejected him and every single soul of his pack seemed to know and take offence at it, but the fact that a war (a freaking war!) might have happened because of it?!

She closed her eyes and tried to avoid hearing the inevitable truth.

"So, when he couldn't well…. Have you" Hakkaku said.

"The Northern Alpha offered his granddaughter to be Kouga's mate and the Eastern tribe's Alpha female, and Kouga obviously rejected her" Ginta continued explaining.

"Duh" Hakkaku said.

"So, of course, the rejection was taken as a great offence by the Northern tribe. I mean, it was the very best the North could offer, after all. She's gorgeous, and strong, not to mention the granddaughter of an Alpha" Ginta continued as he cited all these good qualities this girl had, making Kagome feel a sour taste in her mouth. "And she also wanted to be with Kouga…"

Kagome couldn't help but frown, and that only added to her surprise.

It's been so long since she has felt pure, raw jealousy… and a jealousy that was her own. Fiery, raged, hot.

She was caught up in the feeling for a moment… until she realized something.

"Wait a minute" She said. "Pretty, strong girl from the North who's grandfather is an Alpha" She cited, the truth dawning down on her. "You can't be talking about…" She trailed off.

"Ayame" Hakkaku finished for her.

It was as if she summoned the iciest water from far North to then wash over her like a bucket of cold water.

How?

It felt as if she just remembered something long forgotten.

She suddenly remembered the wolf demoness existence.

How could she ever have forgotten her?

She was honestly amazed.

All these years dealing with nothing but wolf demon ghosts and she forgotten a very important one… and while she was still surprised about that fact, her curiosity about something else quickly overtook her.

"Why did he reject her?" she asked, and the question seemed to boom throughout every single inch of the dens.

Both demons in front of her looked at her like she was just insane.

"I mean" Kagome quickly said, trying to explain herself better "After everything…" She continued, trusting they would understand what she meant without needing much explanation "Why not Ayame?" She truthfully wondered. "I mean, she's just like you said… Gorgeous, strong, perfect to lead by his side" She cited, feeling jealousy grow within her again. "Why not take her as a mate?"

"What do you mean why?" Ginta asked half chuckling, wondering if it was a legit question. "He can't"

"He can't because he doesn't like her…?" Kagome questioned again, not really getting what was so obvious about the question. "Or because he doesn't want a treaty with the North tribe-" Hakkaku interrupted her before she even had a chance to finish.

"No, because he literally can't" Hakkaku said looking at her rather startled.

"What do you mean he literally can't?" Kagome was starting to get a little irritated at them. They were looking at her like she was stupid or living after a rock till yesterday.

"Wolves can't mate with someone else other than their intended" Ginta finally said, as if it was so obvious "That's unless their intended mate dies"

Kagome was shook to her core.

She knew some of demon mating ways, and also some of demon law and stuff. Mostly because Sango taught her throughout this years and because not only she was a priestess, but a miko, so she had to know.

She never heard something like this, though… and considering the fact that her 'mate' was currently with another it just didn't make any sense.

"So, that means that…" Kagome trailed off in a whisper, still shook.

"Kouga can't mate anyone but you" Hakkaku said. "At least until you, you know… die"

"How come you didn't know this?" Ginta asked. "I mean, I know you're human and stuff… but you're mated to a hanyou, right?"

Kagome flinched at that, but didn't respond.

"Also you have that demon slayer friend… I'm sure she knows this stuff!" Hakkaku added.

"I- She did, but-" Kagome stuttered out. "I'm pretty sure it's not like that!" She said a little louder than intended, nearly shouting. They didn't seem to notice it, though.

"What do you mean?" Ginta asked.

"I know for a fact that demons can take another mate" She simply said, jaw tensed.

"Well, yeah, of course! Demons can, but wolves? Never!" Hakkaku said, again as if it was just obvious.

"Wolves mate for life!" Ginta added, and Kagome felt a shiver run all over her body, remembering one of the first things Kouga said to her when they met. When he claimed her his woman.

The warmth that spread inside her turned sour soon, when another thought crossed her mind.

"So, basically, Kouga's waiting for me to die to take another mate?" She said icily.

Both of them looked at her completely horrified.

"N-No! That's not it at all, sis!" Ginta exclaimed, too horrified to notice the slip up of the nickname.

"It's not like it's a death sentence or something! Or like he's being forced to love you or to be with you!" Hakkaku exclaimed as well.

"He wants you. Just you. He can't possibly want any other woman while you're around" Ginta continued, making Kagome blush.

"When a wolf finds their intended mate, they're all they see" Hakkaku added.

"I mean, they can be intimate with someone else if they're not mated yet. But, regarding romantic feelings and mating? It's just impossible." Ginta said.

"Whether Ayame is attractive or not or perfect for him, Kouga could just never mate her" Hakkaku said. "It's almost as if the sole idea of mating someone other than your intended is repulsive"

"That's why wolf demons, while territorial, are not really jealous around their own kind regarding their mates" Ginta said. "Once you're already mated or in courtship process, affairs and such are just unheard of. We might be possessive when they're other demons around but between our kind? Never"

"And normally, once you find your intended mate the courtship process instantly begins" Hakkaku added.

"Look, I don't wanna sound unsensitive or anythin' but… while Kouga might have sex with other females right now, it's pretty much out of male needs" Ginta said, looking half regretful about letting her know that. Kagome just looked at the ground at the revelation. "He could never even consider any romantic involvement with anyone else. The feeling you have towards your intended mate is just incomparable to anything else you could even imagine"

Kagome stayed silent for a few moments, and they just waited for her to digest everything they said as they turned on the rest of the candles in the room.

It was unbelievable, in part. She would have never guessed.

Kouga could just never love anyone else, or even consider anyone else while she was around.

It was probably why he also was so angry at her right now. Not only she rejected him, but she quite literally felt him tied handed. There was just no other choice for him, not second chances or 'more fish in the sea' as the modern saying says.

It must have been horribly tortuous for him… The thought of never being able to be with anyone else at least for several decades (she hoped).

Then, another thought crossed her mind, making her instantly frown in confusion.

"Wait" She said, making both wolf demons turn to her again. "You said wolf demons can only mate or have romantic feelings towards their intended mate" She started, and they both nodded for her to continue "So, is Ayame's intended dead or something? How come she loves Kouga when she's clearly not his intended" She couldn't help but say 'clearly' with a little more emphasis than the rest of the words.

"Well, not exactly" Hakkaku said "Ayame's intended is indeed alive. He's the one in charge of the Northern armies"

"And she still loves Kouga?" Kagome asked but neither of them replied, and that was the only answer she needed. "How?"

Ginta sighed as he rubbed the back of his head again, looking a bit frustrated and struggling with his thoughts.

"Well, Ayame's situation is a bit weird" Ginta started "We think she's just in denial… and we blame Kouga for this as well"

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"Well, Ayame was just so young, even for a demon, when Kouga made that stupid promise to her" Ginta explained. "He told us he made that promise expecting for her not only to forget it, but to understand the wolf demon mating process once she grew up" He excused his Alpha "Of course, you probably already know that didn't happen…"

"We think it's because she basically grew thinking about that stupid promise" Hakkaku cleared out.

"We also think that once she actually gives in at least just a bit into her intended mate, she'll realize there's simply no way she and Kouga could ever be together" Ginta added. "She's so obviously trying to maintain her distance from her intended, because deep down she knows"

"In other words: she's being a spoiled brat" Hakkaku simply said and Kagome mentally grinned at this.

"Still" Ginta said "Another thing that's keeping Ayame so insistent in this is that Kouga's case is a little bit unusual as well"

"What does that mean?" Kagome asked him.

"Well, while is not completely unheard of that a wolf demon's intended is human. It happened before, but just a couple of times and probably millenniums ago. But, it's still pretty unusual" Ginta explained. "Not to mention that it's an Alpha we're talking about… and the youngest and strongest one ever heard of"

"Not only that but, the fact that he was uhm- rejected" Hakkaku added.

"Most of the northerns think that, given the circumstances of both, Kouga's and Ayame's situation, it could be possible for them to mate" Ginta finally finished.

"… I see" Kagome said, finally seeing the bigger picture, and finally understanding why the Northern tribe was so offended and why they declared war.

Kouga was, quite possibly, the best wolf demon Alpha to ever be. He was young, strong, smart and with crazy leadership skills. He had the biggest, strongest tribe, that would likely only grew in numbers and in strength in the future.

… And, he has a human for intended mate, that rejected him.

Then there was Ayame, apparently the only wolf demon to ever manage to resist from falling for her own intended mate. Ayame, who has been obsessed with Kouga since she was a little girl.

Finally, there was the fact that the potential mating between the two would benefit two large, important wolf tribes… And Kouga rejected all that.

He rejected the girl (quite honestly, probably the very best the North had to offer, as Ginta said), he rejected the power, he rejected peace.

Quite possibly just because of what Kagome did.

Both wolves noticed the change in her feelings and what this new knowledge was doing to her, but said nothing to soothe it. It was something she needed to know, sooner rather than later, and even more so now that she was staying here, where she would experience in the flesh the effects of the war.

They shared a look, another perk of being in a wolf demon pack, it almost was as if they could read eachother's mind.

It would probably be painful, and make her uncomfortable, but they needed to know.

"So, now that you know all of these, I hope you don't mind if we ask you something as well" Hakkaku started.

That hat seemed to have snap Kagome off her thoughts, as she blinked to then look at them, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

They both shared a look again, and while they were nervous as fuck, there was no way they'd live another day with the curiosity.

"Why there's not a single trace of InuYasha on you?" Ginta finally asked.

A.N.:

GOSH, FINALLY! HOW LONG WAS THIS CHAPTER, HONESTLY?!

Hey you guys! It's been a while, but here I am again, quarantine stuck in home, with lots of time and wanting to update my fics!

Idk what to say rn, except that I hope you're staying safe and in home. I hope all of you are healthy, and If you aren't I wish you a safe, quick recovery! Stay safe you guys, it's a difficult time for everyone rn!

Anyways, did you enjoy it? LET ME KNOW!

Till next time!

-Silvana.

[itsanerdlife]

Smoke 9/16

Pairing: Ronin!Clint Batron x Black Cat!Reader

Warning: Violence. Torture mentioned. Death mentioned. Nightmares. Lies. Seducing. Sexual humor. Broken and damaged pasts. Killing. Possessive Male. Struggling to open up. Secrets. Dark past.

A/N: ENDGAME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, DON’T READ THIS!!!

After the snap, the avengers split apart. Finding their own ways to cope. Clint found his under a new identity, Ronin. Getting revenge for those they lost. For the family taken from them. The evil left when heroes were wiped out, it became his mission to take out the evil. All while keeping a list of those who could help, if needed one day. Clint stumbles upon a woman, Cat. She’s a mystery in the dark. One happen stance meet, one night, gone like smoke.

After the second snap, setting the world right again. Fury is looking at those kept tabs on. When Cat appears on the screen, nobody know a lot about the mysterious woman who haunted Clint’s dreams and stole his favorite T-shirt. There’s a chance she’s in trouble, can Clint find her, convince her there is more, that he can save her? But is he the cause of what’s after her? Just what mystery is she keeping all to herself? Or is he the one she’s trying to save?

Clint

His jaw worked in angry ticks. Chewing the inside of his cheek to keep his tongue from lashing out. What was he supposed to do, sit there and watch? Bucky’s hand slips up Y/N’s bare arm and his hand grips his knees to keep him in place. His girl. His best friend. Having their own private conversation on the edge of the room. Her head tips slowly to one side, as if she was listening to his own internal struggle.

Clint clenches his jaw. Looking away from the two off to the side of the room. He cuts his eyes to Nat who sat at the other end of the couch. It’s pouring rain this morning, everyone was kicked back waiting for it to clear. Or till they were called to run out the door. He slips towards Nat, her eyes cut up from her book watching him.

“What?” She lifts a brow.

“Nothing.” He shrugs. His arm slips over the back of the couch, behind her. If Buck could do it, so could Clint. Not that he was actually into Nat, that was more like finding your sister attractive.

“Why are you near me Barton?” Nat sighs, not looking up from her book this time.

“How are you?” He smiles at her. “Good?” Now she looks up at him, like she was waiting for him to confess his sins.

“Better, if you moved away from me.” She snorts.

“You and Buck. Good?” He nods slowly. She looks passed him, at the two still talking. She rolls her eyes, her hand comes up.

“Get away from me, Clint.” Covering his face, she shoves him back. He goes over, before straightening up a little farther away from her now.

“Nat.” He scuffs.

“Drama Queen.” Nat smirks back at her book.

“She talks to him, but not me.” He huffs, admitting his issue. She sighs, closing her book she looks over at him.

“Clint you can’t push the broken.” She shakes her head softly. “It doesn’t work that way and you know it.” She gives him a pointed look.

“She thinks sex is a commitment.” He mutters.

“It’s a step towards opening yourself, emotionally. That is commitment to girls like us.” She shrugs.

“Fuck.” He sighs, scrapping his hands down his face. He turns, dropping back, his head in Nat’s lap. She snorts, picking up a pillow she waits for him to lift his head, shoving it into place for him. She had a point, she was more like Nat than he really cared to look.

“You don’t push me to talk about my secrets.” She looks down at him. “Why are you so pushy with her?” She quirks a brow.

“Because what I feel for her is very different.” He sighs.

“You’re scared to lose her, again.” Nat sighs. “But you push her and you’re going to lose her anyways and you know that.” She taps her pointer finger into his forehead. He swats at her hand.

“Oh what do you know.” He huffs.

“Drama Queen.” She grins.

“Satan.” He rolls his eyes.

“Awe. Thank you.” Nat melts a little.

“You really are fucked up.” He snorts.

“Like your girlfriend.” She gives him a cocky smirk.

“I hate you.” He mutters.

“Could you be more possessive of a woman who literally gives the vibe, of kill you in your sleep?” Nat grins.

“It’s a nice thrill. Am I going to wake up today? Is she going to kill me? Or is she going to seduce me and rob me?” He shrugs.

“You’d still ask her to come back.” Nat laughs.

“I’m a little fucked up.” He grins at her.

“Preaching to the choir, Marc.” She shakes her head, picking up her book again.

----------

“Um.” She squeaks softly, from the chair she was curled up in. He folds the paper in half, looking at her. Hair tied up on top of her head. She wore a faded T-shirt and a pair of comfy shorts.

“Babe?” He lifts a brow, wondering what she was up too.

“They’re debts paid.” She blurts out. “People I’ve killed for what they did to me.” She speaks to her hands, not looking up. The rest of them exchange a look, understanding where she was going with this.

“The tattoos?” Wanda wonders.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“Okay.” He nods, straightening his paper back out.

“That’s it?” She seemed almost surprised. “Okay?” He folds the paper down again, looking at her.

“You have tattoos. I have a small notebook of people for Karma.” He nods, her head tips.

“I have a ledger, with photos.” Nat nods.

“I have a database.” Tony grins. Clint snorts.

“Karma?” She looks over at him. “Really?”

“I read the obituaries and cross them out in my notebook.” He nods.

“What did the circus do to you?” Buck laughs.

“Nothing. Why?” Clint looks back at the paper in his hands.

“Who are the arrows for?” Peter asks softly.

“That’s a bigger story.” She swallows, chewing her bottom lip.

“My dad worked for Oscorp.” Peter nods. “The reason I survived the bite, was because he secretly stabilized the formula with his DNA. That’s why it kills everyone else.” Peter admits. Clint’s eyes cut to her once more.

“I had a sister, Maddie.” She looks down at her fingers twisted together.

“Had?” Sam eyes flick around.

“I was thirteen when I was patient zero.” She nods. “Maddie was six. They made her patient one. It killed her.” She whispers softly. It clicked into place for Clint.

“That’s why you are,” he nods “with Morgan.” Peter and Tony exchange a look.

“She reminds me of Maddie. Maddie was obsessed with Odin. Odin, he’s never grown attached to another child. Till now.” She shrugs.

“I’ll share her with you.” Peter grins.

“The arrows are for, the scientists, those who were there. Six of them.” She nods.

“You have seven.” Clint watches her.

“One for my father.” She stares back at him.

“How long have you been on your own?” Tony asks.

“Since I was fifteen.” She nods. “Never trusted anyone after that.” She sighs.

“Till now.” Buck smirks.

“I’ll find a way to kill you Frankenstein.” She points a finger at him.

“Don’t poke the cat, Buck.” Nat sighs, going back to her book. Buck and Sam laugh, dirty grins on their faces.

“I’ll kill you.” Clint sighs, setting the paper down.

“I need coffee.” Sam looks down at his cup, he’s out of his chair and leaving the room.

“I’m going to find Steve.” Buck nods, heading in the other direction.

“Possessive.” Nat coughs into her hand. Wanda cackles, Peter inhales his coffee.

“Satan, shut up.” Clint sighs.

“Who knew the devil was so hot. Is that how you get your hair so red?” Y/N grins, leaning forward.

“The blood of my enemies.” Nat winks at her.

“How do you get yours so white?” Wanda grins.

“All the souls I’ve sucked out.” She laughs, Tony coughs clapping a hand over his mouth. Peter dripples coffee down his shirt in shock.

“Really?” Clint sighs, looking over at her.

“What?” She bats wide, grey eyes at him. “Urban myth says Black Cat’s sucked the souls from people. It’s an old witches curse.” She shrugs, leaning back in her seat, picking up her phone.

“She’s so hot, it actually hurts.” Nat grins at him.

----------------------------

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[oculusius]

Desk Jockey

“I want that report on my desk at 6 AM tomorrow or your ass is on the street.”

I look up from my keyboard, from the sickeningly modern, blank desk to the even worse face of my branch manager. Picture what you’d expect the person saying this to look like, and you’re probably right. Tall, dark hair combed back, slicked back with just enough gel to not be disgusting. Attractive, but only conventionally, because it hides his fetid interior. The rotten, wriggling insides of the kind of guy who relishes other’s misery, especially when he’s snorting high grade blow on the weekends. Though he’d probably prefer orphan’s tears (But that’s a story for another time).

I’ll do my best, you fucking cretin.

I mumble out some garbled excuse. I won’t even tell you what I said because I forget, or rather, it was so insignificant that I never committed it to memory in the first place. “Sorry Eric,” (He’s one of the ‘hip’ bosses that makes us call him by his first name), “Won’t happen again”, Please don’t take my healthcare away I will literally suck your dick to keep it. He shakes his head and walks away. We’re the last ones in the office, one of the tallest buildings in our shitty, Midwestern town; all glass and steel like some gaudy San Francisco startup. The only lights still on are in the lobby; besides that the only other illumination is from the sickeningly crisp glow emanating from my monitor. As soon as the elevator doors close behind Eric, I grasp my hair in my hands; it’s drenched in sweat and I’m balding already, despite being in my late twenties. Flakes of dandruff are appearing on my scalp, but by the time I get home from work I’m too damn tired to remember to get that special shampoo. Stress related? Probably. Did I have time to fix it? Fuck no.

I swear to God you motherfucker I’ll name you when I eat a fucking bullet you shit fuck…

Stop. The more rational voice in my head. Finish this shit in the next—5 hours? Shit, it’s already 1 AM! I’ll smash bottles and get proper wasted when I’m finished. And when the following day is over, seeing as I’d probably be pulling an all-nighter. Fuck. I take two caffeine pills from the nondescript tin in my top drawer.

Alright. I need to get the excel sheet from that old email inbox the intern left when he quit (not that I blame him). To do that, I need to go through my inbox and find that time I CC’ed him about scheduling that conference call. But to get into my inbox, I need to reset my password because company policy is to change passwords every 3 weeks, and it can’t be a past password…

Alright. One step at a time.

 It’s two hours later. I found the file, finally. I feel like I crossed the fucking Rubicon with no limbs to get here. Now, to get the shit I need from it and send it to Eric. I hope he chokes on it. While bleeding. From every orifice, and then some. I open the file, and I’ve never been so goddamn happy to see the sickening green of excel. Document recovery—what’s that? Fuck it, I’ll deal with it later. I ctrl f the account name. Beads of sweat are dripping off my forehead. Outside, it’s still the vaguely pinkish black of night in any big city. I might actually get some sleep tonight…

WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HYPERLINK HERE?

Oh boy, this better not cost me my job. I get sent to a greyish webpage, the kind of soulless portal that screams ‘high finance’. A nondescript login page for “Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management LLC”. I roll my eyes. Management occasionally threw us these shitty platforms because their friends from way back developed them, and they wanted to help them out. Because God forbid we use Citibank.

There’s no login, but there’s a support number on the bottom of the page. Maybe if I call, they can help me? It’s worth a shot. I mean, I had nothing but time, and if it actually worked and saved my job, I would fly all the way to India or some shit to kiss that phone technician on the lips. Alright. God, when I was an undergrad did I ever imagine this would be my waking life (or lack thereof?) I should’ve joined the military. Better to be blown up overseas then mentally scarred over here.

4-887-612-393: 24/7 Live Support

I call from my office phone, in the hopes that it’ll lend credence to the claim that I fucking need this login. The phone rings for what seems like half an hour, but I can tell from the clock on the wall that it hasn’t been a single, godforsaken minute. Maybe I’d died and gone to purgatory? Seemed believable enough—although, I wasn’t sure what I’d done in a past life to deserve this. Maybe I was a Mongol slavedriver, and…

“Hello, this is ZenDesk, my name is Robert. How may I help you today?” My crisis of existential spiraling instantly, mercifully, shatters. I put on a cheery voice.

“Hi, I work at [company name]. I really need to find something for my boss, and in this accounts payable excel file, it says that I’m supposed to login to a ‘Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management?’ I have all my company info if you need it, I was just never told we used this firm before.”

A beat passes. I hope he heard the desperation in my voice, because if I had a guardian angel, it’d be on the other end of that phone line. Why did I tell him I never heard of this place? He doesn’t care! He isn’t paid to care!

“Of course, sir. Just a moment please. What’s your name sir?”

That thin veneer of politeness again.

“Uh, Keith Sanders. I also have my company email, if you can send the password there…”

“OK sir, what’s the address?”

I spell it out for him. My fingers are digging into the faux-leather of the chair. I’m starting to sweat. If this doesn’t work, I’m fucking hosed…

I tell him the address, and soon I have the URL to reset the Kleene-Rosser password. Surprisingly, my company email works for the username. Lucky guess I suppose? I thank him, truly from the bottom of my heart, and wait for the page to load.

According to the web page, the site was some kind of file storage service. Besides a few nondescript tabs on the top leading to “Home”, “Support”, etc. there’s nothing but a grey background set behind a very basic file directory.

[company_name]/Accounts/Accounts_Payable/2019/May/.

There it is! So deceptively close. 05.19.19.xcl

When I try to open it, I hear the most awful of noises: the Windows 10 error sound, impossibly loud. File corrupted. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DO YOU CORRUPT A FUCKING EXCEL FILE? SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS?

I dig my fingertips into my temples. I can feel the faint outline of an engorged vein on the side of my head. I imagine it, an angry, vibrant purple, the shooting representation of my immense, earth-shattering frustration.

It was as if every cog in the infernal machine that was my work place was designed specifically to drive me fucking bananas. Like my life was some cosmic joke to see how much I would endure before going postal, or at least smashing my monitor. Jump out an office window, strapped with speakers blaring “FUCK THIS PLACE” over and over again, even when they’re scraping me off the pavement with a comically large spatula. Every little thing piled atop one another to form the worst shit tsunami eternally suspended above my head. Every wriggling, squealing fucking cell in my brain…

Alright, let’s think of solutions. Eric wanted the file, and if it was corrupted, I’d just tell him the truth: that it’s how I found it. Man, why did I drive myself up the wall earlier? So stupid… I log into my email. Actually, I don’t. As soon as I hit enter in the URL bar, I get that fucking google “no internet” error dinosaur. At this point, I try to keep rolling with the punches. Alright, network diagnostics, here we go. After what feels like centuries, after windows resets the router, etc. I finally get an answer. Sort of. An error code. I had two hours left before I was unemployed. I take another caffeine pill and keep going, determined to see this shit through to the end.

Hidden on the fifth page of the search results is my answer. It’s on an obscure, early 2000s web forum that had a grand total of 2 users online, probably bots. A post from a literal decade ago has my same issue, and one of the commenters mentions he had the same thing. Apparently, it’s a hardware issue with the router. Despite being woefully underqualified to deal with IT issues, I have no other choice. No fucking way Eric will believe that the internet cut out 2 hours before my deadline. I find the tech support number, and pray that the information is up to date and that they won’t have to send a technician out to fix it.

As the phone rings, I ponder my situation. I was unlucky enough to find what I needed right as the Wi-Fi died, and it was probably one of those issues that fixes itself in an hour anyway. There it is again; I can almost see the shadowy gears of the universe working against me, trying to crush my psyche beneath their teeth into bits of mental scrap. When I finally get a response, I’m caught off guard. This guy seems American. His voice is a bit hoarse, and I picture him as the fat comic book guy from the Simpsons, gut and all.

“----- tech support. How can I help you?”

I don’t like the way his voice trails off every word, leaving a breathy wisp behind like the tail of a comet. It makes me want to shudder.

“Yeah, uh—“

My mind blanks for a minute. I’ve been derailed, and it takes an agonizing few seconds for me to decide what I want to say.

“I was trying to email my boss, and—“again with the unnecessary details “I got this error code, and I saw online that it was an issue with the router.”

“Uh huh.” He sounds skeptical. And disapproving. I imagine he’s wrinkled that gob of cartilage clinging to his face he calls a nose. “What’s the model number?” He finally asks.

I read off the name, and he laughs. He fucking laughs. Is my suffering amusing him? Arousing him?

I have a clearer image of this guy now. Pervading my mind, filling the gaps in my brain, covering my synaptic gaps with fucking cement. He’s grossly overweight, in some dark room somewhere. He smells like BO and he is sweaty milky beads off his forehead that are landing into his keyboard and congealing. The scent is odious, like a corpse coated in mayonnaise and left in a tomb for five millennia, except it’s still wet.

“Sir?” That subtle tone of annoyance again. “Do you understand me, sir?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Would you mind repeating that? I was just—talking to someone.” Idiot he can tell you weren’t.

I write down his instructions, but first he pontificates about some issue with a chip in the router or some shit. Apparently I have to call the manufacturer? And they can help me dust it off or some such?

He’s fleshy and sickeningly soft, like a malformed, hairless puppy. That shirt’s been pasted to his damp stomach longer than you’ve been on Earth. It’s just a crude impersonation of the kind of people that run this industry. And you’re just his plaything, to be antagonized and fucked with until…

As soon as my attention is re-centered, I say “Alright thanks bye” without even knowing what he was rambling about before. He laughs. No, cackles. I can practically smell the stale coffee and tobacco on his breath. I slam the receiver down. It was starting to stick to my face with sweat and I really wanted to switch to my cell anyway. Peeling it away was orgasmic.

I examine the napkin I had scribbled on. I’d written it down in a haze, and it almost felt like I was reading someone else’s handwriting. Was that a 5, or a 6, or what? Doesn’t matter. I plug in the numbers, to some obscure fucking company I know nothing about. There’s like 12 digits, not like any number I’ve ever dialed. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to make the worst fucking mistake of my life, worse than taking on that debt to go to college or that time I puked on grandma’s casket at the funeral. Light years away, I imagine, some metaphysical blade was eagerly, sexually, preparing to scoop out my insides and flay them across time and space, flicking its imaginary tongue back and forth in anticipation.

I had expected that infuriating error code, but instead, I feel it. All of it. The other side is cold, and every hair on my body stands right on edge.

“Hello?”

The phone’s definitely connected.

“Hello?!”

This time it seems to echo. I’d opened a door, a beaming ray of light into a place that hasn’t been graced by it in eons.

“Is this Infolink appliances?” I gulp suddenly. My throat is impossibly dry. Everything that made me me, my identity, my memories, my interests… were spilling out into space, into an impossible void far blacker than even the darkest of nights. Please. Like my brain was a plastic bag full of air, but now it’s been punctured. It’s getting sucked out like a breached spaceship, and my body is curling around the now torturous void. I am a husk.

I drop the phone on the ground, and the screen cracks. But I’m far beyond caring about that screen now. The spiritual, inky black is billowing out of the phone like an endless wave going out in every direction. And there’s something else. A raucous laughter, and sneering, they’re laughing so hard somewhere backstage that their mouths, or whatever they call those fucking gullets, are overflowing with sickening white foam with streaks of yellow bile. Dark silhouettes that have been eagerly waiting this whole time for this horrible climax. I’d played my part. Everything else was out of my hands now.

[kwanisms]

Crossing the Threshold - Part 7

Difference threshold is defined as the minimum noticeable difference that someone will be able to detect at least fifty percent of the time.

⤑ genre: smut, angst, fluff, Best friend!Jihoon, Neighbor!Jeonghan ⤑ pairing: Jihoon x Reader, Jeonghan x Reader ⤑ warning: smut, angst, lots of angst ⤑ summary: After a sincere talk with Jihoon, it would seem that things are almost back to normal. The day of holiday party arrives and a power failure in the apartment building elevator brings (Y/N) and Jeonghan even closer, much to Jihoon’s annoyance which leads up to an explosive confrontation that will damage one or more of (Y/N)’s relationships. ⤑ word count: 10.8k (it’s a long chapter lol)

⤑ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | {07} | 08 | 09 

a/n: I know it’s been a while since I posted an update for this story so hopefully this long chapter will make up for my absence. Maybe you’ll hate me for posting this with no warning. I’m sorry guys. For this taking so long and for what I wrote haha. We aren’t done yet! There are still two more chapters!

It had been two days since Jihoon had slammed his door, leaving you and Soonyoung confused at his sudden outburst. You barely saw him in the apartment. It was usually in passing that you saw him. Soonyoung and you kept tabs on him to the best of your abilities but since neither one of you saw him, it was hard to pinpoint his exact location and what he was doing.

Soonyoung had a better chance of catching a glimpse of Jihoon since they worked in the same office. You however were left to the mercy of Soonyoung’s sporadic texts.

Squishy ☆ [12:08]: he’s staying in the building for lunch. I was going to follow him but I can’t be discrete in the break room. I’ll see you in 5. You [12:09]: it’s okay Soonyoung, you don’t have to go to so much trouble for me. Jihoon will come around. Squishy ☆ [12:10]: i know he will, i’m just stubborn (: You [12:10]: i know you are haha

Soonyoung met you for lunch that day and updated you on Jihoon’s mood and behavior at work. You were grateful for him, truly. Otherwise, you would never know if your best friend was eating or not. You and Soonyoung worked diligently to find out why Jihoon had gotten so angry and fortunately, you found out the reason why a few days later.

A few days later, You were sitting on the couch watching one of your dramas when the front door opened. You turned to face the door, expecting Soonyoung but were met with Jihoon. He froze, eyes landing on your surprised face before his brow furrowed and a frown appeared.

“H-hey,” you said timidly. Jihoon nodded and walked past the front room heading for his room but you reached out, stupidly, and grabbed his hand. “How are you?” you asked, desperate for his company. He was your best friend after all.

Jihoon pulled his hand away, almost ripping it from your grip. You flinched at his sudden crassness. “Fine,” he said shortly before he continued to his room and shut the door with a little more force than necessary. You sighed and pulled out your phone to see Soonyoung had texted you.

Squishy ☆ [17:32]: he’s in a mood today. Idk what’s up his butt. What’s her name dropped by during lunch to see him. You [17:33]: ...Soo-mi? Squishy ☆ [17:33]: yeah. Her. You [17:34]: oh… that’s nice. Squishy ☆ [17:35]: ... (Y/N)? Are you okay?

Before you could answer however the doorbell rang and you  got to your feet to answer it. Swinging the door open you found yourself face to face to the exact person you were just texting Soonyoung about.

Jihoon’s ex-girlfriend, Soo-mi, couldn’t have been worse for Jihoon. She was self-centered, narcissistic, rude, and she nearly ended your friendship with Jihoon. She was controlling, manipulative, and had a way with charming men with nice words and then using them. Men like Jihoon.

“Oh, (Y/N)?” Soo-mi said, a hint of surprise to her voice. She must not have known you were living here. Which means Jihoon hasn’t been talking to her for long. “Hey, Soo-mi,” you replied as politely as you could. She was still just as slim and tall as she had been in the past. She was almost as tall as Jihoon.

She let herself into the apartment forcing you to take a step back to avoid being knocked over. She looked around the apartment. “Hoonie has done pretty well for himself,” she noted more to herself than anyone else. You bit your tongue, resisting the urge to fire back. The bedroom door opened and Jihoon emerged.

His eyes fell on Soo-mi and you behind her. “Hey,” he said walking over. “You ready to go?” he asked grabbing his jacket and keys. Soo-mi put on a fake sweet smile. “Of course!” she said in a saccharine sweet voice that made you want to gag.

Jihoon’s eyes glanced your way before he grabbed Soo-mi’s hand and led her past you and toward the door. He slipped on his shoes, not making eye contact and then opened the door for Soo-mi. You clasped your hands behind your back and forced a smile. “Have fun!” you said and Jihoon stopped, turning to look at you. There was something in his eyes. Regret maybe? You waved him off before sitting back on the couch. The door shut softly behind him and you picked up your phone.

You [17:40]: he fucking asked her out. Soonyoung. She came over here and they’re going out. Squishy ☆ [17:41]: ...are you fucking kidding me?! He H A T E S her! He even told me so! You [ 17:42]: if this is because of Jeonghan, istg I’m going to kick Jihoon’s ass. Squishy ☆ [17:43]: I’m almost home. We’ll order a pizza and watch movies. And make a fort. You [17:44]: Soo-mi isn’t invited. Squishy ☆ [17:44]: well duh. Just you and me silly. You [17:45]: thanks, Squishy Squishy ☆ [17:45]: anytime, muffin.

You went back to your dramas, but you couldn't focus. The thought of Jihoon out with the person he himself said he despised most got your blood boiling. You grumbled under your breath, eyes locked on the screen. Several minutes later, Soonyoung opened the door, stumbling into the apartment and kicked his shoes off.

“I fucking ran into them in the lobby. That bitch. I can’t stand her. I don’t know what Jihoon is thinking, letting her back in his life. She’s so shitty!” he spat as he made his way over to you carrying a takeout bag.

“I thought we agreed on pizza,” you joked as he set the bags down and shrugged his coat off. “Chinese sounded better. Make room,” he said and you looked at his slacks and button down. “Uh… don’t you want to change into something comfy?” you asked and he looked down. “Oops,” he said and ran to his room.

When he returned, he was dressed in his sweats and a tee shirt. The two of you used blankets and pillows to create your fort before putting on a movie and eating your chinese in your fort. You could always count on Soonyoung to let loose and be a kid with you.

You were on your second movie when the door opened and slammed shut followed by a slew of curses from Jihoon. He stormed past the couch only to stop and turn. You and Soonyoung peered through the window of your fort at him. He looked from Soonyoung to you and back. “What are you doing?” he asked, all traces of anger gone. He looked as though he was holding back laughter.

“What does it look like?” Soonyoung asked, narrowing his eyes. “It looks like two idiots in a pile of pillows and blankets.” You glared at Jihoon whose smile fell immediately. “Sorry. Only idiots allowed in Fort Stupid,” you snapped as you picked up a pillow and blocked the window, shielding you and Soonyoung from sight.

Soonyoung glanced at you and you crossed your arms angrily, your chinese food sitting in your lap. You were mad. He was just going to start joking with you after being a dick? No. You wouldn’t allow him. He needed to apologize first.

There was silence outside the fort before Jihoon sighed and opened his bedroom door, shutting it softly behind him. Soonyoung glanced back at you and you at him before you pulled the pillow down to sneak a peek outside. Jihoon had returned to his room. You and Soonyoung returned to your movie, finishing it before freeing yourselves from the pile and cleaning up.

After a quick shower, you returned to your room and started getting ready for bed. You heard the vibrating of your phone on your nightstand and walked over to pick it up. They were texts from Jihoon.

Hoonie [22:18]: i miss you… You [22:18]: i’m literally in the other room and you text this to me? Hoonie [22:19]: … forget it. I’ll leave you alone. You [22:19]: Jihoon, i didn’t say I didn’t want you to leave me alone. You [22:20]: I just don’t get why you couldn’t come to my room and say anything. Hoonie [22:20]: i’m too proud and stubborn You [22:20]: yeah u are

When Jihoon didn’t answer you, you assumed he fell asleep and also turned in for the night. This wasn’t like him. He didn’t know how to hold a grudge but he was incredibly stubborn. You weren’t sure how long this little spat with him would last but one of you would cave eventually and it wasn't going to be you.

Your fight with Jihoon lasted until the following morning. You woke up to the feeling of pressure on the bed next to you. Opening your eyes and blinking a few times to adjust to the light filtering in your room, you rolled over to find a sleeping Jihoon next to you. He was curled up on his side facing you with a pillow from his room tucked under his arms.

You looked over at your alarm clock. It read 7 am. You rolled back over to find your best friend stirring in his sleep. His eyes fluttered open and peered up at you sleepily. You watched each other for a few minutes before you spoke. “When did you come in here?” you asked. Jihoon stretched, a yawn escaping him. “I think it was around 2 am. I don’t remember exactly. I just couldn’t sleep,” he said softly. You said nothing, just watched him as he woke up.

“Are you mad?” he asked turning to look at you through heavy eyelids. He was always so cute and childlike when he first woke up in the mornings. Something you noticed throughout the years of friendship you had with him. You shook your head. “No, Ji. I’m not mad,” you said and a small smile broke out across his face. “Really?” he asked and you nodded.

There was tension between you, not like the past few days, but more like the two of you were on the verge of apologizing to one another but neither wanted to be the first since you both were stubborn. Your eyes searched Jihoon’s, waiting for him to say something. His eyes looked between yours before finally he spoke. “I’m sorry.”

He took a deep breath. “I'm sorry for everything. I got angry when I had no right to. You have every freedom to see who ever you want. You're my best friend and I need to support you. I'm just scared of losing you,” he said softly, looking down at the sheet hem he was currently playing with. A small smile broke out inst your face and you reached over, wrapping your arms around him.

Jihoon let out a sigh of relief before returning the gesture. “You'll never lose me, Ji. You're my best friend, you'll always take priority over any boyfriend,” you whispered, burying your face in his shoulder. Jihoon sat up, pulling you with him. The two of you sat like that for a while before there was a small “ahem” from the door.

The two of you looked over to find Soonyoung standing there, leaning against the frame, arms crossed with a grin on his face.

“Does this mean Fort Stupid has a squadron of three again?” he asked. Jihoon picked up a throw pillow and aimed it for Soonyoung’s head. The latter ducked and ran into the hallway, cackling. Jihoon turned to you and gave you a sheepish smile.

The two of you got out of bed and headed for the kitchen to start breakfast.

After a lengthy breakfast and a couple cups of coffee, you got dressed for your date with Jeonghan. Making sure to put extra care into your appearance. With your makeup and hair also done, you checked yourself out in the mirror and smiled.

As you stepped out into the front room, Soonyoung whistled, drawing Jihoon’s attention. “Where are you going all dolled up?” Soonyoung asked as you grabbed your purse and headed for the door to put your coat on. “Out,” you replied.

“With who?” Soonyoung asked. Jihoon snapped him with a towel. “Leave her alone, you vulture,” he said before flashing you a smile and giving you a wink. You returned the smile before you headed out the door and made your way to the elevator.

Down in the lobby you waited for Jeonghan.

Your phone buzzed in your coat pocket and you fished it out, unlocking the screen.

Jeonghan [11:45]: are you still in your apartment? You [11:45]: no i'm in the lobby Jeonghan [11:46]: oh okay! i'm on my way down now (:

You smiled and returned your phone to your pocket as the elevator dinged behind you. The doors opened and Jeonghan stepped out. Today he was sporting a black turtleneck sweater under a deep maroon coat, black jeans, and white trainers. In his hand was a covered basket. A smile spread across his face as he reached you, stopping just a few steps away.

“You look great,” he said looking you up and down. You opted for a black skater dress that fell just above your knees, the top was an illusion sweetheart neckline with a sheer black material making up the mock neckline and sleeves. Under the dress, you wore opaque burgundy tights. Over the dress you had on an ivory peacoat. You rounded out the look with a pair of comfortable brown boots.

“You ready?” Jeonghan asked to which you nodded. He led you to the parking garage and to his own car which sat parked a few spaces away from Jihoon's. Jeonghan opened the door for you, allowing you in before he shut the door and rounded the back of the car, getting into the driver's seat.

He pulled out of the garage and onto the street as he set the navigation on the GPS. The two of you sat silent for a moment before Jeonghan turned on the radio, letting it play in the background. “Did you sleep well, last night?” he finally spoke up.

You nodded. “I did. I woke up to find Jihoon in my bed,” you said almost laughing. Jeonghan chuckled. “I suppose this means he's forgiven you?” he asked and you nodded. “Yes, we had a little talk and he understands that he should be supporting me,” you replied.

The two of you continued to chat before Jeonghan pulled into the parking lot of a large mall. You looked at him curiously as he looked for a parking place. Upon finding one, he parked the car and turned off the ignition before getting out and hurrying around to your side of the car. He opened your door and shut if behind you.

“The mall?” you asked curiously as he held out his hand for you to take. You did, your small hand wrapped in his larger one as he led you to the main entrance. “Have you ever been to this mall?” he asked and you shook your head. Jeonghan smiled as he led you inside. “You're in for a surprise,” he said plainly before opening the door and letting you in first.

Your jaw dropped as you looked around, taking in your surroundings. It was definitely a mall. A huge mall with no less than 4 floors. Shops occupied all four levels with a massive food court on the second floor, the floor you were currently on. In the middle of the mall, nestled in between the 4 floors was a small amusement park.

You turned to Jeonghan who was watching you with amusement. The two of you approached a small house off to the side labeled “tickets.” Jeonghan purchased two day passes, handing one to you. He took your hand and led you to the entry gates.

Once both your passes had been scanned, Jeonghan took your hand and led you over to a small area for locker and stroller rentals. He rented a locker where you stored your cold weather items before locking it up and heading out into the main mall.

Your head turned every which way, trying to see everything at once. Jeonghan laughed, placing a hand on top of your head gently. “At this rate, you'll give yourself whiplash,” he said and you stopped, your cheeks turning pink. “Come on,” Jeonghan said pulling you along.

The two of you decided to walk around to check out some of the shops before heading to the upper floors. The floors seemed to be arranged by shop type. The bottom floor was entirely made up of the amusement park with all the big attractions in the center.

The second floor were the shops for men and women's apparel as well as host to the massive food court. On the third floor were the kids shops. Toy stores, kids apparel, and more. The top floor had the fewest shops. The stores up top were some of the most expensive stores. Jeonghan led you back down to the first floor.

You expected him to guide you toward the only roller coaster in the mall but instead, he took you toward a huge ice rink that you couldn't even see from above. The two of you picked out some skates and sat down to put them on. You'd never been ice skating before so to say you were nervous would be an understatement.

Jeonghan noticed and moved to help you with your skates. “Here,” he said gently taking the laces. “Let me help.” He tightened the laces until the skate fit snugly against your ankles before he tied them securely and stood up. Jeonghan reached out his hands to take yours and pulled you to your feet. “I won't let you fall, I promise.”

He made good on his promise and successfully led you onto the ice. Jeonghan positioned himself on your right as you held the wall with your left hand, your right hand in your date's as you stated off with small strides. You felt like a baby giraffe right after being born. Your legs were wobbly and your balance completely off.

Jeonghan never left your side and he didn't rush you. After you made one loop around the rink, you felt your wobbling simmer down and you were able to pick up speed. You made two further loops around before you felt confident enough to let go of the wall and rely solely on Jeonghan for support.

You felt like you were getting the hang of it before long. After numerous passes, Jeonghan led you off the ice so you could change back into your shoes. “I'm getting hungry, what about you?” he asked as he removed his skates. You nodded pulling your own off and pulling your boots back on.

The two of you returned your skates and headed upstairs to the food court. Eyes scouring for something that sounded good, your gaze fell on a stall that specialized in different types of bibimbap and you pointed it out to Jeonghan. He gave you a grin and led you through the crowd over to the line.

“Do you know what kind you want?” he asked, eyes flickering over the menu. You followed suit, searching for something that caught your eye. You found it in the tongyeong bibimbap. Once you found what you wanted, you placed your orders and after Jeonghan insisted on paying, you waited for your meals.

“After we eat, we can walk around some more to let our food settle before we dive into the rides,” Jeonghan said as he looked toward the roller coaster. “I would like to check out a couple of the shops,” you noted looking across the way at a few stores. Jeonghan turned as your order was called and took the tray.

You led the way to a cleared table and the two of you sat down. You dug into your food immediately and sighed. It had been a while since you'd had a meal this good. The two of you ate mostly in silence, occasionally uttering a few words and exchanging pieces of meat from your bowls. Once your hearty meal was finished, Jeonghan picked up the tray and took it to the return spot.

The two of you spent the next hour walking around, stopping in different shops, looking for something to buy your mom for her birthday since it was just around the corner.

“What about this?” Jeonghan asked nodding up at the sign. You looked up and saw you were standing outside of a jewelry shop. You led Jeonghan inside and started browsing. The two of you split up, you heading for the rings. You browsed and looked through numerous rings before your eyes settled on something.

“Would you like to see something?” the shopkeeper asked, startling you. “Yes please,” you managed to squeak out. You pointed to the ring that had caught your eye. The shopkeeper unlocked the case and pulled the ring out, allowing you to inspect it.

It was a very simple yet elegant band in sterling silver with a round cut gem. You looked it over carefully before deciding it was the one. The shopkeeper packaged it up nice and snug for you. The price was a fair trade for the ring. You paid the owner and took your purchase as Jeonghan approached from the left.

“Did you find something?” he asked with a smile. You nodded as you left the shop and continued walking before you came across a photo booth. You grabbed Jeonghan's arm and tugged softly. His eyes followed yours and he smiled when he saw the booth. “Come on,” he said, pulling you to.

You pulled back the curtain and stepped inside, Jeonghan right behind you. The curtain fell back in place, shielding you from view. Jeonghan paid the small fee and you searched for a theme. You found a cute border you both agreed on and pressed start.

The booth took a total of 6 pictures in which you made silly faces. Jeonghan put another bill in, selecting a different border and pushed start. This time, he kissed your cheek in the first photo. You turned to him, the second and third photos catching you looking at each other before Jeonghan went in, his lips connecting with yours.

It was a few moments before either of you noticed that the booth had stopped taking pictures. You pulled back to catch your breath, your cheeks bright pink, a smirk hiding just behind your semi calm facade. Jeonghan pressed another short kiss to your lips before pulling the curtain back and stepping out.

You followed, immediately grabbing the photos and looking them over. Jeonghan looked over your shoulder, smiling before whispering in your ear which ones he wanted to keep. You tucked them in your purse for safekeeping and continued on, your hand in his.

The two of you decided to call it a day and headed back toward the front, stopping to grab your things from the locker. You donned your cold weather clothes and headed out the front doors.

The parking lot was much fuller than when you initially arrived but Jeonghan found the car easily. The two of you piled in and were off. On the way back, you showed Jeonghan the ring you bought for your mother. He admired it as well as he could while driving. “I think she'll love it,” he said as he entered the freeway.

The rest of the ride was spent listening to music and speaking occasionally. Soon you were home and Jeonghan was pulling into his parking space. The two of you headed into the building from the garage and waited for the elevator. Once it arrived, you got on and pressed the button. You turned to Jeonghan.

“Thank you for today,” you said smiling at him. His lips pulled into a smile and he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You're welcome. Thank you for going with me. I haven't had a chance to go to that mall in awhile.” You leaned into Jeonghan, the scent of his cologne filling your nostrils.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. You stepped off and walked down the hall, stopping at the door to Jihoon and Soonyoung's apartment. Jeonghan leaned in, his lips skimming yours briefly. “Thank you again,” you repeated. “I had a great time with you,” you added. Jeonghan pulled you in, pressing his lips fully against yours. Your stomach did flips as your heart raced.

When he pulled away, he seemed to take your breath with him. “I'll see you later,” he said, his eyes catching the light in the hall and making them twinkle. He backed away slowly, watching as you unlocked the door and let yourself into the apartment. You waved goodbye to him on more time before shutting the door.

Jihoon and Soonyoung were sitting on the couch, and upon entering, they both looked back from the TV. “Ooh! She's back!” Soonyoung said turning and leaning over the back of the couch. You smiled, removing your boots and coat. You made your way through the living room, stopping when Soonyoung grabbed the shopping bag in your hand. “Hey!” you shouted trying to snatch it back.

“Did Jeonghan buy this for you?” he asked looking inside. You grabbed it back and eyed him suspiciously. “No, it's for my mother. Her birthday is next week,” you replied, looking from Soonyoung to Jihoon. Soonyoung stuck his hands in his pockets and gave a very embarrassed smile. Oh, sorry,” he said quickly.

Jihoon nudged him with his foot and Soonyoung sat down quickly. “Did you have a good time?” Jihoon asked looking up at you. His expression seemed to be that of curiosity but he had a genuine smile on his face. You nodded. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun.” Jihoon's smile grew wider. “Go change into something comfortable and tell us about it,” he said and nodded toward your room.

You hurried off to change, setting your mom's present on your dresser before changing into a sweater and some leggings before rushing back to the front room and nestling yourself between the boys. You spent the rest of the evening telling them about the mall. You told them about the ice rink, the roller coasters, the shops, and the huge food court.

“That sounds amazing,” Soonyoung said in awe. “We'll have to go sometime,” Jihoon said smiling at you. “Just the three of us,” Soonyoung said turning his attention toward the TV. “Yeah,” you agreed, watching the TV, unaware of Jihoon's lingering gaze on your face. “Just the three of us,” he repeated before also turning his attention back to the television.

You sat in the living room staring at your phone. Waiting patiently for his reply which would come any minute. You were currently waging war with Jeonghan over text.

You [13:48]: bring it on! Han [13:48]: you're weak. You can't handle this You [13:49]: I SAID BRING IT ON YOON JEONGHAN Han [13:50]: img1759.jpg

You threw your phone on the couch beside you. The picture was of his dog wearing quite possibly the cutest hat you had ever seen. The two of you were fighting over who could send the cutest picture of their pet and clearly, Jeonghan had won.

Your phone buzzed again from the dark recesses of the couch cushions. You scrambled to pick it up to see it was a text from Jihoon. You opened it, reading his message quickly.

Hoonie [13:51]: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm off early today. You [13:51]: okay (: Hoonie [13:51]: uwu

You smiled at Jihoon’s use of emojis before returning to Jeonghan's texts.

Han [13:52]: One word. Three syllables. Han [13:53]: ＶＩＣＴＯＲＹ You [13:53]: yeah. You win. Han [13:54]: you okay?? You [13:54]: yeah… just home alone Han [13:55]: want to come over and keep me company while I cook? You [13:56]: Seungcheol leave already? Han [13:56]: .....yes ㅠ︵ㅠ i'm so lonely You [13:57]: on my way lol

You got up and slipped on your slippers making your way to the door. Outside in the hall, you padded down to the neighboring door and knocked. Jeonghan opened it instantly, MiChan barking from her kennel. “Hi! Come in,” Jeonghan said waving you in.

You stepped in, sliding your shoes off and followed Jeonghan to his kitchen, the smell of something delicious hung in the air. “How long is Cheol going to be gone?” you asked reaching down to pet the fluffy cloud that left her kennel to sniff your socks. “A week,” Jeonghan answered.

You watched as he bustled around the kitchen, stopping to stir something in the pot on the stove occasionally. He wore his favorite pink apron with ruffles and you couldn't help but smile. His hair had been cut recently, no longer sitting at his shoulders. With his hair short, he looked much more masculine rather than feminine like when you first met. You sat admiring him as he worked.

Jeonghan looked up, eyes catching yours and he smirked. You looked away quickly but you weren't fooling anyone. “See something you like?” he asked, the corners of his mouth still pulled up into a grin. “What are you making?” you finally asked and looked down at the counter.

He had a bowl filled with some kind of filling, a spoon, and dozens of little circles of flat dough lying on the surface. “Dumplings,” Jeonghan said shrugging. “It’s for my company's holiday party. Every year I make hundreds of dumplings and bring them to the party. Apparently they're  huge hit.” You smiled, watching him as he worked.

Your eyes trailed over his body again. His broad shoulders, toned forearms exposed by his rolled up sleeves, and his slim waist. You were weak for a man of his physique and he knew it. Glancing up at you occasionally, smirking as he did. Jeonghan knew how he affected you and he used that power for evil. “You just gonna stare at me?” he mused.

You slid off the stool and walked around to his side of the island. You ducked under his arm to wedge yourself between him and the counter. “Can I help with anything?” you asked looking at all the dumpling wrappers.

He let out a laugh, welcoming the intrusion by resting his chin on your shoulder. “I could use some help,” he said. You pushed your sleeves up. “What can I do?” you asked. Jeonghan backed up and nodded at the sink. “First, you can wash your hands. I have coworkers who are allergic to dogs,” he chuckled.

You rushed over to cleanse your hands of all traces of dog before returning to Jeonghan's side. He took a step back allowing you to stand in front of him again. “Here,” he said reaching around you to show you what he was doing. “You have to pinch them like this.” Jeonghan showed you how to pinch the dough together to make little pockets.

You worked slowly, trying to mimic what he did. Your first one turned out like a little lumpy pillow. You pouted and Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head. “It's alright. You can scoop the filling in and I'll pinch them.” You did as he said and put little scoops of filling on the centers and he closed them, setting them aside to make little rows.

When you ran out of filling, Jeonghan called a break. He checked on the pot on the stove, murmuring to himself. “What's in there?” you asked from your spot at the counter. Jeonghan pulled the spoon out and covered the pot. “Just some chicken.” He set the spoon aside and made his way over toward you. His hands resting on the countertop on either side of you, effectively trapping you.

“S-should we cook these?” you stammered nodding at the dumplings. Jeonghan shook his head. “No. They go in the freezer until I need to fry them for the party.” He started covering the dumplings, freeing you from your prison. “Could you set these to soak in the sink?” he asked handing you two dirty bowls. You nodded, taking them.

You returned to wipe down the countertops while Jeonghan put the dumplings in the freezer. You were drying the counters when he returned, hands resting on your hips, lips pressed against your hair. “Thank you,” he whispered and you couldn't help the smile that spread across your lips. “It's no trouble, really. I'm happy to help.”

You wiped the counters vigorously with the towel while Jeonghan watched you. After a minute or two, he took the towel from you. “I think it's dry now,” he chuckled tossing the towel in a small hamper in the dining room. You stood against the counter, Jeonghan behind you.

His fingers brushed against the nape of your neck as he moved your hair to the side. “Now what?” you whispered. “That chicken won't be done for a few more hours, so I have some time to kill,” Jeonghan answered, nuzzling your neck with the tip of his nose. A sigh left your mouth as you leaned back, your head falling to the side leaving it wide open for Jeonghan. He pressed sweet kisses along the skin trailing up behind your ear.

“Would you like a tour of the apartment?” he whispered and you nodded quickly. “Yes please.” Jeonghan smiled before kissing your shoulder. “Follow me.” He stepped away and removed his apron before grabbing your hand and leading him straight for the bedrooms.

You were about to enter one when he pressed you against the wall, his lips finding yours instantly and his hands at your hips, fingers digging into your skin. You moaned into the kiss when his thigh spread yours and pressed against your core.

“I've barely even touched you and look at you,” he said breathlessly, a chuckle escaping him. You pulled him back in for another kiss which he accepted eagerly. You were so consumed by his lips that you almost missed your phone ringing from the kitchen. “(Y/N), your phone,” Jeonghan said between kisses. You pulled back and ran to answer it.

“Hello?” you asked breathlessly. “(Y/N)?” you heard on the other side of phone phone. “Jihoon?” you asked quickly. “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked. “Nothing, I just…  what's up?” you asked turning to look at Jeonghan.

“Is it Jihoon?” he mouthed and you nodded. He smiled, giving you a thumbs up before opening a door to his room and disappearing behind it. You sat down at the counter, returning to your conversation with Jihoon.

“I sent you a couple texts and you didn't answer so I thought I'd just check to make sure you're okay. Are you home?” His voice sounded worried. “Yeah, yeah, I'm fine! I'm actually on my way back to the apartment right now,” you said looking up when you saw Jeonghan emerge.

“Okay, i'm on my way home, too so I'll see you in a few. You haven't picked up your dress for tomorrow yet, have you?” he asked. The Christmas party was tomorrow and you had taken a dress to the dry cleaners the day before. “No, not yet,” you said, twirling a strand of hair around your finger. “I have to pick up my suit so we can go together,” Jihoon said. You could hear the sound of a car door shutting.

“Okay,” you agreed looking over at Jeonghan who attempted to look like he wasn’t eavesdropping.

“See you in a bit,” Jihoon said before he hung up. You dropped your hand to your lap. “Gotta go?”Jeonghan asked and you looked up at him, giving him a small smile. “Yeah, gotta go pick up my dress for tomorrow,” you replied. Jeonghan smiled and crossed the room as you stood up. He took your free hand in his and pulled it up to his face, kissing the back of your hand gently.

“Thank you for coming over and keeping me company,” he said, pulling you up from your seat. You smiled as he leaned in for a kiss before pulling back. “I better get back so I can change,” you said and looked down at your chosen outfit. Jeonghan smiled. “I think you look fine,” he joked before casting another glance down. “Although, you might want to change your shoes,” he added fighting the urge to smirk. You playfully shoved him. “You’re one to talk,” you noted after looking down and seeing his own slippers.

Jeonghan gently pushed you toward the front door. “Alright, alright,” he said, ignoring your giggles. You pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked to which you nodded. “Yes, I’ll stop by before we leave tomorrow night,” you said smiling widely. Jeonghan waved you off as you headed back down the hall. Inside the apartment, you changed into something more suited for the cold and waited until Jihoon texted you.

Hoonie [14:57]: i’m downstairs (: You [14:58]: on my way down!

Once you made your way down to the lobby you hurried outside to find Jihoon’s car waiting by the curb. You rushed over, pulling open the door and getting into the passenger seat. Jihoon pulled out into the flow of traffic as you fastened your seat belt. “How was work?” you asked noting his expression. Jihoon groaned. “This is the third time this month I’ve worked overtime for them. I’m getting burnt out,” he said as he followed the GPS. In no time, you reached the dry cleaners.

The trip was a short one as you both got your items and then headed home. Along the way, you stopped by the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner. You helped carry the groceries from the car to the apartment. “What did you do today?” Jihoon asked as the elevator made its way up.

“I just relaxed, went next door to keep Jeonghan company while he made dumplings for his company party,” you said looking up at the numbers above the elevator doors. “Oh? Can he spare some of those?” Jihoon asked jokingly as the doors opened. The two of you stepped out where Soonyoung was attempting to put the code in. He glanced over at you and Jihoon and sighed in relief.

“I can’t remember the code!” he said as Jihoon walked past him to open the door. You shook your head and tutted as you passed Soonyoung and stepped into the apartment. You deposited the groceries on the counter before taking your dress to your room and hanging it up on the back of your door. You unzipped the dress and let it air out while you changed back into your comfy clothes and headed to the kitchen to start making dinner.

Jihoon and Soonyoung sat at the counter of the island, bickering as usual and it felt like everything was finally going back to normal. For now at least.

The next morning you woke to a slew of texts from Jeonghan.

Han [08:46]: good morning! The sun is out and the day is almost as beautiful as you Han [08:49]: ...wow that was lame. I am so sorry. I’ll see myself out Han [08:51]: don’t forget to stop by before you leave! I want to see your dress (: Han [08:55]: you’re probably sleeping and I’m being annoying. Wow, way to go Jeonghan. Han [08:57]: text me when you wake up so I don’t keep blowing your phone up

You laughed softly setting your phone aside and sitting up. There was a loud knock on the door before you glanced up and noticed Soonyoung. “Breakfast is almost ready my sleepy little croissant,” he said and you grabbed a pillow to throw at him but he was gone before you could carry out your assault.

You slipped on your robe before stepping out into the hallway and following the smell of food. Jihoon stood at the stove cooking eggs in one skillet. You made your way to the coffee maker and started your routine, making a cup of coffee while soonyoung reached across the counter and snatched a piece of bacon. You shook your head at him, narrowing your eyes. He silent pleaded with you to not say anything.

You weren’t having his treachery. “Soonyoung keeps stealing bacon,” you said loudly as the coffee maker dispensed your caffeine fix. Jihoon whipped around in time to see Soonyoung reaching for another piece of bacon. He slapped the back of Soonyoung’s hand with the wooden spoon he held. Soonyoung withdrew, pouting before he threw a dirty look your way.

With breakfast done, the three of you sat down to eat. You were checking the weather on your phone when there was a loud clap of thunder. The three of you jumped, eyes wide as you looked around at one another before getting up and racing to the balcony door. Outside, the clouds had rolled in but instead of rain, it was snow. “I’ve never witnessed a thunderstorm with snow,” Soonyoung said peering up at the clouds. “Not gonna lie,” Jihoon said looking around. “It’s pretty cool,” he added.

The three of you sat back down to finish your breakfast before you started on your chores. It was laundry day and you had been persistent in earning your keep so you did all the laundry in the house save for underwear and bed linens apart from your own. It was a fair trade.

Throughout the day, you texted Jeonghan. He had immediately texted you after the storm started stating “so much for the sun.” Time ticked by as you did the laundry, sitting at the kitchen table to fold everything and sort it into piles. You had finished Jihoon’s first and called him over to get his things. Soonyoung’s was next and he took his clean clothes to his room while you folded your own laundry.

By the time you had finished, it was time to start getting ready. You headed for your room to start doing your makeup and hair. You finished fairly quickly before getting into your dress, luckily, without help.

You stepped out of your room, and made your way into the living room where Jihoon and Soonyoung stood waiting, bickering over something you couldn't hear. They only turned when you cleared your throat to announce your presence. The two turned immediately and you savored their reactions.

Soonyoung’s jaw dropped as his eyes raked over your form, not having seen you in formal attire for a long time. Jihoon on the other hand could not take his eyes off you. His lips were parted slightly, eyes widened as he took in your attire. You opted for a fitted floor length garment that accentuated your features, with long sleeves that reached just past your wrists, a high collar, and a deep v cut back.

The crisp ivory color complimented your skin beautifully and contrasted well with the crimson color on your lips. You cleared your throat and the two snapped out of their trances. “Shouldn't we get going?” you asked and the two shuffled to the door. You followed behind sitting to put your shoes on.

Jihoon opened the door letting Soonyoung out into the hall first. You followed with Jihoon bringing up the rear. “We're going to get there a little early,” Jihoon noted looking at his watch while Soonyoung pressed the button. The three of you waited in silence for the lift to arrive.

You remembered that Jeonghan wanted to see your dress and told the boys you would be right back as you hurried down the hall to the neighbor’s door. You knocked on it and Seungcheol answered it, his eyes widening as he took in your appearance. “Wow,” he said and you blushed lightly. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” you said before peering into the apartment. “Is Jeonghan here? He said he wanted me to stop by so he could see this,” you said gesturing at the dress. Seungcheol shook his head. “No, he had to run an errand.” You sighed and nodded slowly. “He should be back in a few minutes though, if you want to come in and wait,” he added quickly. You shook your head.

“No, I should get back. Otherwise, we might be late,” you said gesturing at Jihoon and Soonyoung down the hall at the elevator. On cue Jihoon cupped his hands around his mouth. “Lift’s here! Let’s go!” he said. You nodded and turned back to Seungcheol. “Tell him I stopped by?” you asked and he nodded, smiling widely. You turned and headed back to the elevator which was thankfully it was empty.

You followed your best friends into the elevator and Soonyoung pressed the button for the lobby. The elevator started its descent and you held your breath, counting the seconds until it reached its destination. There was a flicker of the lights and the elevator skipped slightly, jostling you lightly. You grabbed the hands of both men on either side of you.

Jihoon and Soonyoung both gently squeezed your hands reassuringly as the elevator continued without problem and pinged when it reached the lobby. You stepped out of the elevator, following the two through the lobby and toward the front doors. “Where are we going?” you asked.

Outside on the curb, a very fancy limousine was waiting for you. You rounded on Jihoon. “We could have just taken your car!” you hissed and he smiled. “And try to find parking? No thanks. This way, we don't have to worry about it,” he said as he led the way outside.

The wind whipped, swirling snow around you and you shivered heavily. “Wait,” you said and the two men stopped turning toward you. “I forgot my coat! I gotta go back,” you said. “You want me to go with you?” Soonyoung asked stepping forward. You shook your head. “I'll be quick!” you said and turned to hurry back toward the elevator, pressing the up button.

You sighed, arms crossed as you waited for the elevator doors to open. “Come on!” you hiss noting how slow the elevator seems to be moving. You heard light taps of someone approaching. You glanced up to see Jeonghan.

“Oh, good evening, he said smiling. You returned the gesture. “Hey,” you said back softly, taking notice of what he's wearing. He has fitted black jogging pants with an oversized grey sweater. He was wearing a rather comfy looking coat with a soft scarf. “You look very warm,” you said amused to which he smiled brightly.

“Where's your coat?” he inquired looking down at the ensemble you're dressed in. “.....I'm an idiot and forgot it. I'm on my way back up to get it now,” you told him reassuringly. When the elevator doors finally opened the people inside got out allowing you and Jeonghan to step in.

You pushed the button for the 20th floor and the doors crept shut.

Inside the elevator was cold. Why the hell is it so damn cold? You tried to fight an involuntary shudder but failed as it rippled throughout your body. Jeonghan noticed and without a word, slipped his coat off, draping it around your shoulders. “Thank you,” you murmured, noticing it smelled just like his preferred cologne which was your favorite.

Glancing up, you saw that the floor reader indicated that you were currently passing the 12th floor. Jeonghan followed your gaze and said softly, “this thing has been moving so slow recently.”

That was when you heard it; a loud whirring followed by a clunk sound before you were thrown in complete darkness, a small gasp escaping your lips. Jeonghan swore loudly from next to you and you heard him patting his clothes in search of his phone.

Instinctively you reached into his coat pocket and your hand touched something smooth and sleek. You pulled it out and turned the screen on. Turning toward Jeonghan, you found him and he took the phone from you, sliding the status bar down and turning on the flashlight. A small but bright light dimly illuminates the elevator.

The realization hit you; you were trapped, inside an elevator, hanging 12 floors from the ground with no power. You began hyperventilating as panic set in, feeling your way into the closest corner. This can't be happening. You looked frantically around the box in vain as everywhere you looked was a corner or a wall. No way out, a little voice inside your head said. A soft sob escaped its confines in your throat as you closed your eyes as blood pounded in your ears.

“Hey,” you heard a voice but it sounded muffled, almost like it was distant. “Hey,” it said again, a little clearer this time. “(Y/N), look at me.” The voice was crystal clear this time as you came out of your trance. Jeonghan. You remembered you weren't alone. Jeonghan was standing in front of you, shining the flashlight on his phone in your direction.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, brushing hair out of your face. You shook your head as you slowly slid into a sitting position against the wall, Jeonghan taking a seat beside you. He set his phone on the floor and pulled you into him, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and started whispered encouraging words to you as he stroked your hair.

“I forgot about your fear. Don't worry (Y/N). It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be alright,” he muttered.

The minutes ticked by, you didn’t know how long had been but slowly you felt yourself starting to calm down. “That's better,” Jeonghan said, turning you to face him. He had a soft smile on his face but his eyes were still full of concern.

“I’m sorry,” you said in a rush. “I was hoping this would never happen again but clearly the universe hates me,” you said burying your face in his neck. Jeonghan chuckled as he gently ran his fingers through your hair. He hummed a soft tune to help calm you down even more.

“Thank you,” you whisper in his ear, you face buried in his neck. With your breath fanning against the skin of his neck, Jeonghan let out a soft sigh escape his lips. Not soft enough since you pulled back to look at him. He stared straight back, thinking about the first time he kissed you in this elevator how he so desperately wanted to kiss you again, right now.

This is not the time or place for that, he had to remind himself so he was fine with just holding you close, trying to make you feel safe. Jeonghan was interrupted from his thoughts by the feeling of your lips pressed against his own and he forgot everything and kissed you back without reservation.

His hands found purchase in your hair and on your hip, your own hands making their way up to his shoulders. You broke the kiss only for a moment to readjust yourself in his lap, straddling him before you attacked his lips again with more passion.

Jeonghan's hands slid down your body, coming to a rest on your hips. His tongue glided over your bottom lip and you sigh, the parting of your lips allowing him access and his tongue found yours in a lazy and sloppy dance. His hands kneaded the soft flesh of your ass, pushing and pulling your hips so that you rocked against him, grinding on his painfully obvious hard on.

You thanked your lucky stars that you chose not to wear pantyhose today, the thin material of your lace panties allowing you some sort of release of weeks of built up sexual tension between the two of you.

Jeonghan moaned into the kiss when you grinded down particularly hard against him and you swallowed the sound with your lips. His hips bucked up into yours involuntarily and you moaned loudly at the sensation against your aching clit.

“Jeonghan,” you whispered in a shaky breath. “Yes, princess?” he answered in a husky voice, pupils dilated and full blown with lust, the name sounded so much more intimate when he said it. You stared into each others eyes for a few more silent moments before you whimpered, “touch me.” Jeonghan wasted no time, his coat was thrown off your shoulders, landing on the floor of the elevator.

He laid you back against his coat, his hands sliding down your sides until he reached your hips. He stopped, admiring how you look in this moment; your skirt falling up your thighs, flushed cheeks, slightly disheveled hair, but most of all, the wide doe eyed look you were giving him.

He loved how innocent you looked.

He dragged one hand lower and lower until his fingers were pressed against you, only thin lace separating his skin from your heat wet with want. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, eyes searching yours for confirmation and you nodded, giving your consent.

Jeonghan traced your lower lips softly, teasing you slowly but you didn't want him to tease you. You'd waited long enough for this moment. “Please.” You had meant for it come out stronger but it came out as a whimper when Jeonghan increased pressure against you.

His fingers trailed up and down your slit. You were a whining, whimpering mess under his hand and he had barely even touched you. “Look how needy you are,” he whispered as he pressed soft kisses to your jawline.

He slipped his thumbs into the band of your panties and slowly pulled them down and off you, setting them to the side. His hand was back on your heat and he could feel how needy and ready for him you were. “Fuck,” he groaned as his finger slid easily between your folds.

“You're dripping. Is this all for me?” he whispered. You moaned in response as he dipped his finger into your dripping pussy again. “What do you want, baby? Use your words,” he said, his lips soft against your neck contrasting against his teeth biting down on the sensitive skin.

He soothed the bites with his tongue, alternating between the two, leaving spots that would turn into dark bruises tomorrow as his fingers never faltered against your clit, massaging in slow but hard circles, increasing pressure as he did.

When he inserted a finger into you, you gasped out his name and boy what an ego trip that was for him. He moved slowly, pumping the digit in and out of you. “Ah, please. Jeonghan, I n-need more…” you whined. He smirked against your skin and move his hand faster, pumping in and out of you until he felt you were ready for a second digit, never losing his pace.

Your moans increased as he continued his ministrations on your body, attacking your most sensitive areas. With his hand still pounding into you, he the added a third finger.

Gasping, moaning, and whimpering you begged him for release. “Please Jeonghan, please,” you whined. “What can I do for you, princess?” he asked slowing his hand. “...I want your tongue,” you said breathlessly and Jeonghan felt his cock twitch in his pants at your words.

He was painfully hard. He needed some sort of release, and you brought some as you had been eyeing him up the entire time. You reach down and palmed him through his sweatpants. He moaned softly, hips bucking into your hand. “Touch me,” he said. “Touch me and then I’ll do whatever you want.”

You slipped your hand into his pants and slowly stroked him through his boxers before finally sitting up and pushing him back before pulling his pants and underwear down his hips exposing his hard cock as it sprung free.

You took him in your hand and he hissed at the contact of your soft hand against the hardness of his member. You stroked him languidly at first, just soft touches until he grabbed your hand and forced you to touch him properly.

“Don't tease me, (Y/N),” he let out in a breathy moan. You picked up the pace, pumping his shaft with just the right amount of pressure. He groaned, bucking his hips into your hand, giving you enough confidence to speed up, rubbing the pad of your thumb against the tip of his dick, spreading the pre-cum that had gathered. Jeonghan threw his head back against the elevator wall, closing his eyes as he relished in the feeling of your hand.

Feeling powerful with the amount of control you held over him, you decided you lean down and give the tip a light kitten lick. Jeonghan's fingers immediately tangled in your locks when your lips wrapped around his throbbing member and he let out a strangled moan that had your walls clenching around nothing. You were literally dripping by this point. You need him and you needed him now.

You pulled away from his cock and straddled his hips again. “Wait,” he breathed grabbing your hips. “I didn't get to eat you out.” You positioned the head of his cock against your slit, teasing the tip with your wet folds. “I need you now,” you whined before sinking down on him slowly.

The stretch felt amazing. It had been such a long time since anyone had filled you up like this. Jeonghan grabbed your hips, stalling your movements just as you began. “Wait, take it slow,” he hissed. “If you go too fast, I might come right away, I don't want that.”

You waited a few more moments before Jeonghan continued, pushing your hips down until he was buried deep inside you. “Fuck, ah, (Y/N), you're so tight,” Jeonghan panted. You slowly rocked your hips back and forth before sliding up and down. Jeonghan pulled you in for a kiss, tongues dancing against one another, fighting for dominance, but in the end he won.

His hands gripped your ass tightly while you moved on him. Bringing one of his hands back he let it land on your rear end, the sharp sting making you inhale. He rubbed the spot, soothing it gently before repeating the same thing on the other side. You leaned forward, resting your head on his shoulder as your legs became weak, your muscles screaming in agony.

Jeonghan took this as a sign to take over and he took hold of your hips, thrusting up into you. You cried out as he hit deep inside you, brushing against your spot just right. “Oh my god, right there,” you gasped and he thrusted harder, hitting the spot again. “Like that?” he asked and you nodded, moans turning into whimpers as you drew closer and closer to your orgasm.

Jeonghan flipped you over so you were on your back on the elevator floor and started pounding into you. The soft moans whimpers replaced by loud high pitched moans and cries. “Jeonghan, .....I'm so close.” Your whisper just barely reached his ears.

One of his hands found yours and your fingers intertwined, the other reaching between you and you cried out as his fingers massaged fast circles on your clit. “Jeonghan, .....I'm gonna-" you started to say but he cut you off with “then do it. Cum for me, princess.”

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train and you came with a cry of Jeonghan's name, your walls clenching and convulsing around him that with a few more thrusts, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and came with a low moan, releasing deep inside you. He rode out both of your orgasms until you had to push him off. “Stop, I can't anymore, it's too much,” you whimpered, shuddering from the aftershocks of your climax.

“God, you're so beautiful,” Jeonghan whispered brushing your hair back so he could see your face completely. “We should probably get this cleaned up,” you said indicating the elevator around you. Jeonghan pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and nodded. “Yeah, otherwise what a surprise for the rescue crew,” he said with a laugh as he helped you up allowing you to put yourself back together.

He helped you into your panties and reached down to pick up his coat. “I wonder how much longer we're gonna be stuck in here,” he said with a sigh. You turn to him, resting your chin on his chest and looking up at him. “We could always go for round two,” you murmured cheekily, giving him a huge grin.

Jeonghan smiled and pecked you on the lips. “You’re such a dirty girl,” he said pressing a kiss to your cheek. The elevator started to whirr as the lights flicker back on. Jeonghan turned the flashlight on his phone off and looked down at you. “Your hair,” he chuckled and began to smooth it down. You glanced up at him.

He looked so ethereal and angelic. It must be that ‘glow’ you get after sex. You never thought it was real until you saw Jeonghan. “You’re quite beautiful yourself, you know?” you whispered as the elevator picked up and continued heading up to the 20th floor. Jeonghan looked down at you, smiling before leaning in for a kiss.

“Thank you,” he whispered against your lips. The elevator reached the 20th floor and with a ding, the elevator doors opened and standing on the other side was a very worried Soonyoung and Jihoon. Once their eyes landed on you, they started to relax until they realized who was with you.

Jihoon looked between the two of you before something on your neck caught his eye. A small red mark peeking out from under the neck of your dress. Soonyoung followed Jihoon's gaze, eyes widening when he saw the mark as they flitted between you and Jeonghan. An unmistakable scowl on Jihoon's face told you all you needed to know.

They know. Oh God, they know.

You stepped off the elevator before Jeonghan, noticing Seungcheol emerging from down the hall. “Ji, let me explain,” you started but he pushed you aside going straight for Jeonghan. His fist collided with the side of Jeonghan's face, catching him off guard as he stumbled.

“Hey!” Seungcheol shouted running down the hall. He tried to grab Jihoon but he shook him off. Jihoon lunged forward again. You screamed at him to stop, even trying to grab his arm. He threw you off of him, knocking you to the ground.

“Jesus, (Y/N),” Soonyoung said reaching down to help you up. “Jihoon just stop! Knock it off!” you yelled grabbing his arm. He threw you off again, this time his hand making contact with your cheek. He froze immediately, turning to look at you, eyes wide in horror.

You covered your cheek with your hand, Soonyoung rushing over to assess the damage. While he was distracted, Seungcheol stepped between Jihoon and Jeonghan, shielding his roommate from the angry shorter man. “This ends here,” he said, anger written all over his face. He pushed past Jihoon, carting Jeonghan with him.

“I can't do this anymore,” Jihoon said turning away from you and you looked up at him. “Do what?” Soonyoung asked. “You need to leave.” Soonyoung stood up looking at Jihoon angrily. “Now wait a minute,” he said and Jihoon rounded on him. “You want to leave to?” he snapped. You looked at Jihoon, holding back tears. “What is the matter with you?” you said, your voice shaking.

“I can't stand being around you anymore. I can't stand waiting around, watching you with another man and pretend like it doesn't hurt me.” He turned to face the hall. The three of you were silent. “Jihoon, be reasonable,” Soonyoung pleaded. Jihoon ignored him. “Pretending like I don't still love you,” he said, clenching his fists before turning to look at you. “Ji…” you whispered but he shook his head. “Jihoon, she’s your best friend,” Soonyoung reasoned.

Jihoon shook his head. “No, she’s your best friend. She’s not mine. Not anymore,” he said. You took a step forward but Jihoon narrowed his eyes at you, forcing you to halt.

“I want you out of the apartment tonight.”

p.s. I’m so sorry. It’s not over though! I promised there are two more chapters and I’m gonna live up to that promise! As always, please leave feedback. I love hearing from you all. Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around this long. I appreciate you. ~K♡