#THAT's what im complaining about im complaining that finding good Adult fiction that has some similar narrative beats to the imo best parts

[nat-20s]

I don't want to sound dismissive because you're right and stories about adults are good, but that post about not relating to coming of age stories is so funny you just "came of age" like 6 years ago.

i definitely get where ur comin from anon but I didn't relate to coming age stories when i was """"coming of age""" either. I haven't even had a first love and i didn't start to understand my gender more until i was 23 skdfjkdflk which is why it's hilarious but also a little frustrating that ages like. 15-19 are supposed to be prime Discovering Yourself and Becoming Who You Are ages. most people are in a constant state of self discovery and becoming and i just find most coming of age stories uhhhh...kind of horseshit lol. I'm dunking on anyone that did find them relatable or did see themselves in them or value them but they r just. Not for me and never really have been even when I was the target age you know?

[loveydovey-leviathan]

(hi im the one that asked abt teen!reader) thanks for ur answer !! :D i’m 17 myself so i didn’t intend to send in anyth w a younger reader haha ^^

my req was that i wanted to ask for hcs w the cast abt how they’d react to (teen) reader fawning over their crush (from the human world LOL), it’s platonic either way so i’m not sure if adding teen here makes a difference.. 🤔

obey me x gn! teen! reader

a/n: -> written as platonic. had a lot of fun doing this request! i feel like the core difference when adding teen to the mix instead of an implied adult reader is that the bros would definitely be more protective. if mc/reader is an adult who has a crush on some random human, then they wouldn't be as scrutinizing of them.

cw: ooc. brothers only (minus satan). a lot of repeating words and sentences

.

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑:

He jokes about seeing his little siblings as babies still, but there is definitely an element of truth to them.

When he first finds out about your little crush, he kind of just shrugs it off. It's normal for people to develop little crushes every now and again.

But he starts getting slightly irritated when he hears you fawning. Despite that, he makes sure to listen to you.

If he worries that it might be getting serious, he makes sure to give you a lecture about what you deserve talk to you.

He isn't going to stop you from having a crush but if he thinks they're not good for you, you'll be hearing from him a lot lol.

If they hurt you in some way, they will be facing... certain repercussions.

If you want to visit them, he is not the brother you should ask because he'll most likely say no unless it's a really dire emergency.

Overall, pretty chill considering how overprotective he is as long as he deems them worthy of someone he cares about.

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍:

He's freaking out.

Definitely the brother who spoils and makes time to hang out with you the most, so when he hears about your crush, he becomes a goddamn investigator.

Keeps asking questions about what they like, what they do in their free time, how much you like them. Once he's finished with the interrogation, he side-eyes you like you just told him you loved rainbow pizza (he finds that shit disgusting).

He's so annoying about your crush, I'm sorry. Whenever you bring them up in a conversation, he makes sure to complain and roll his eyes.

If you want to visit them, he's your go-to big bro. It does not take a lot of convincing to make him teleport you to a hang-out.

But even if he is a little shit about it, he still makes sure to listen carefully when you talk about them and reminds you that they "better be treatin' you right".

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍:

Him and Asmo are the best to talk to about your crush. They WILL listen no matter what.

As long as you listen about his crushes, he's more than happy to listen about yours.

If you're crush is someone you can hang out with and not like a celebrity crush, he lowkey gets kinda jealous 'cuz all of his crushes are either fictional or really popular, so he doesn't get to do that not like he would have the guts to anyway.

Will not put in the effort to help you in visiting them, but he will buy a bunch of equipment so you can talk to them through facetime and gaming (it comes with a pretty heavy price though).

𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒:

He's so happy that you have someone to like in that way <3

Your talks last for literal hours into the night. If you're into make-up, nail art or skin care, he'll definitely help you when the two of you gossip.

He has the juiciest details in his relationships and will tell you almost everything, but he won't push you to do the same.

As much as he likes to have fun, he probably gives the most solid advice and encourages you to go for it the most out of the rest of his brothers.

He won't help you visit the human world though. Too much work.

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁:

Is the most nonchalant about the whole thing.

As long as you give him something to eat, he'll listen to you simp.

Isn't really interested in your crush but he makes note of the important things like how they treat you and what they like just in case he meets them.

If they hurt you, he won't do anything rash because he doesn't want to embarrass you, but he'll push you to try and let go.

If he thinks they're nice, he won't really mention asking them out officially and just reckons you'll do it in your own time.

Doesn't give much input and mostly quietly listens, other than a few nods, hums, burps and growls here and there.

He'll help you visit the human world if you give him the right food. If it's not good enough, he won't do much and deems it too much trouble. Lucifer might put him on dinner duty and force him to not "taste-test" the food.

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑:

He is the worst listener of all. He does not care in the slightest.

Any time you rant to him about the person you like, he will fall asleep in 2 minutes flat.

The only time he'll put effort into anything that has to do with your crush is when they make you sad. He's lazy as shit but it's for you so he'll attempt to make your crush's life a very big minor inconvenience for a few days as revenge. He'll also try to convince you to join him btw.

[tinyidle]

Too Good - JYH

literally based on a vision i had + something i watched at night 🤫

wc: 4k ( min reading time yay 😁)

WARNING: smut, pw/op, sex work au, foreplay, slight edging, oiling, safe sex (all sex workers must do this!!), rough sex, public(ish) sex, constant usage of the nickname "baby" (idk why av stars do this but they just do), multiple positions, multiple orgasms, degradation, praise, begging, dumbification, slight daddy kink, p*rnstar!yunho, bigd¡ck!yunho, charming!yunho, charismatic!yunho, dom!yunho, petite!reader, p*rnstar!reader, bigchested!reader, sub!reader, fem reader, yunho × reader, all fiction ofcofc

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a shortish man yelled loudly, jumping you right out your mindless daze. "alright, that's a wrap. thanks, folks!" you inwardly cringed from the amateur videographer's choice of words.

you've been in the adult film industry for five years, so you're basically considered a pro. you've heard how all types of av staff speak, and -- to be honest-- all of them have been nothing less than cringeworthy. ever since you started working at the young age of nineteen, you've also seen all types of "actors" and "actresses" come into and go from the av world. unfortunately there was a growing ratio of said actors and actresses leaving than staying. you, however, were one of the loyal ones who stayed, no matter how small the dick was or how unsatisfying the tongue felt. the job paid well, you've made some good friends, and you never had the urge to leave.

you always experimented and craved for more, though. you went from your more solo and vanilla scenes to kinkier scenes by the end of the third month of working. by the first year's end, you had three dps, five threesomes, and your first-ever "big dick". air quotes on the big dick because, even though it looked "big", it in no way felt big.

you knew that most men in this industry, like most women, feel insecure about their bodies and get work done. in the guys' case, they get steroidal drugs or penis enlargement surgery to get ridiculously huge. your body, however, knew real from fake, and your first big dick was fake. it was like a 'slim jim' in nature, and when you got it all in, it immediately felt limp by the second thrust. nothing close to how it felt with the dragon dildos and huge strapons you ventured with in the past. after the third year, you opted out of "monster cocks" and stuck to doing huge dildo solo shots instead.

it's now your fifth year, and you're being met with yet another amateur videographer and newbie producer who has begged you to do a monster cock special, with you refusing immediately. when they showed you the actor, however, you suddenly became interested. he looked much taller than the other men you're used to, and when seeing nude shots of him, you were surprised to see that his dick looked big even while flaccid. and he was handsome. you've never focused on the faces of the actors you worked with; only the actresses. but with him, he looked different. he seemed different.

"this guy," you started to inquire while hovering your painted fingernail over the picture. "this jeong yunho guy. how long has he been in the industry?"

"yunho's been with us for three years now. he tried finding success in the more popular companies but all the actresses there kept complaining about how he was too big. we thought they were exaggerating until he came to work for us. every actress he's worked with left sobbing about how he 'tore them apart'," the producer emphasized with air quotes emphasized by his rough-appearing fingers, clearly unamused from the past complaints. "we heard that you specialize in taking more than what you can handle, so we thought you'd be the perfect fit-"

"im in," you said cutting the chatterbox off which, to your surprise, made him smile widely. "this guy sounds like a challenge," you continued, "and i like challenges. when's the shoot?" you did impromptu filming, and you hoped that you'd get your hands on this man as soon as possible. you really wanted to see if he could give you what no other actor could provide.

"well, we hoped that you'd like to get to know him tomorrow, and then by the afternoon, we'd start filming. how does that sound?"

"perfect," you said, glad that you could get to meet up with him so soon. "just perfect."

--

you woke up early to get yourself ready and prepared for later filming. once you made sure no stray hair was in sight, you drove to the studio where you were supposed to meet your costar. upon arrival you were surprised at how homey the place looked. it was as if the studio was a two-story house instead of an actual workplace. it made you feel comfortable. you walked in and found yourself a couch to sit on, taking out your phone and mindlessly scrolling online in search of more toys to use for your personal use, since that's what you would get for the lack of pleasure you've been constantly craving for.

"hi, im jeong yunho. you must be the wonderful woman ill be working with later on, correct?" a huge hand was extended your way.

you looked up, locking your phone and putting it inside the small purse you came with. yunho looked much more handsome in person-- beautiful even-- and he was much taller than what you expected. he wore a plain black tee, loose jeans and a high top converse, yet his attractiveness seemed to shine past his apparel. you felt glad that he dressed rather casually since you had one of your older floral sundresses that showed a bit of your cleavage. the dress caught yunho's eye as he glanced towards it before he landed them back on your own eyes. you don't mind, especially when you stared at his clothed bulge before meeting his eyes as well.

you noticed that he only looked a centimeter shorter when you stood up than when you sat down before. you shook his hand and greeted him, telling him your full name. "people call me all types of names, though. my favorite is chem, short for chemistry."

"really" he stated, clearly interested in the story behind the nickname. yunho seemed to be genuinely interested in you, something you haven't had happen in a while. it made you feel appreciated.

"because i like to experiment in the industry." he hummed in understanding. "so three years and no proper satisfaction?" you plainly asked to the man in front of you. being blunt is common place in this work field.

yunho sighed, nodding slightly before taking your smaller hands in his bigger ones. bold, you like it. "and i heard you've been in the industry for five years and had no proper stimulation." you, being a bit embarrassed, looked away and bit your lip before nodding.

the tall man noticed that and lifted up your chin towards his face with his thumb and index finger, looking into your eyes with slight lust and what could easily be mistaken for love. "i can help you find that satisfaction all those other men couldn't give you," he promised, "i researched all about you the night before and i bet i have what it takes to get you going."

you let out a small gasp in shock and slight flattery. no one's ever taken the time to find out what you liked, even when you had it written down in your 'about me' on your website and portfolio folder. you always made sure to find out about your coworker beforehand, and you let them know that, but them feeling the need to research on you seemed to not be mutual. up until now.

yunho smiled, knowing he stunned you. you forgot that, while searching him up, he was described as "one of an unexpected charmer" who could get you to clean his shoe using his charisma if he wanted. you also forgot his general description of being a big guy with a soft heart; you thought that part was all talk. turns out that part was as real as when it said he's 185 cm but looks like 190.

you shook your head, fighting hard to not turn into jello by your costar before the cameras were even on. with the two of you sitting down, you both started talking. as you got to know more about each other and had a few good laughs, you just knew yunho was the perfect guy for you to film with today, and you secretly hoped that you'd get to work with him again sooner than later after today.

after initial conversation, you decided to ask yunho questions about his family life, hobbies and what he does in his free time. he answered eagerly: he has a good relationship with his inner family, but his extended family acts as if he's not doing sex work; he has seven other friends who work in the business but don't work half as much as he does; his best friend also works in the same company with him; and he likes to go to local singing and dance classes as well as play video games. while he was talking, you were shamelessly touching his chest and thighs, slowly trying to work him up for tonight, which was only a couple of hours away.

"and what do you do for fun, sweetie?" yunho said while his hand was softly massaging the left part of your chest. you, being used to this treatment yet loving it, nonchalantly answered that you were into cooking and yoga. "hmm, cooking. i just know that id love having you around." he smiled, hands traveling from your breasts to your clothed center. you smiled and let out a heavy breath from his ministrations before asking one last question.

"so, yunho," you started to question again.

"hmm?" he was in a trance with your body: circling his fingers around your clothed center, barely reaching the pleasure point he so desperately wanted to touch.

you bit your lip while holding in any groans. "you have any dirty secrets to share?" you took his hand that was playing with your pelvis and interlaced the fingers with your own to get the man to focus.

yunho smirked, looking down and gripping his hand a bit tighter around yours before leaning in and whispering in your ear. "i like when small girls take me on their knees. face-down, ass-up is my favorite," he leaned back while you looked at him wide-eyed, shuddering yet forcing a small smile. "i know im big. it's obvious," his other hand motioned to his hardening member, "but knowing that my cock can be sucked in by a tight and obedient pussy and a wet small, wet mouth makes me impossibly hard."

he groaned, and you can tell he was getting impatient and was in slight pain from his boner. your eyes widened even more as you saw his bulge get impossibly bigger, stretching against his pants, causing him to groan out again in pain and small pleasure from the slight friction. he really wanted to fuck you, you could tell. the thought of such a fat, long cock being forced into you made you pool your panties in a way that you've never have before. you felt uncomfortable now in your own confinements.

you massaged the hand you took from your crotch earlier and leaned your head against his neck to help him get some form of relief. you, however, were deeply affected by his words, clenching wildly on nothing, legs rubbing together with a damp undergarment in between them. you let out a shaky breath. "i like the thought of a huge cock tearing my pussy apart, if that helps anything," you half joked. he responded with low laughter, and you laughed along with him.

--

minutes turned to hours, and soon it was 4 pm. "alright guys! look who we have here." a voice and a camera reached your peripheral vision and you turned to look into the camera as you were trained to do tons of times before. "can you please introduce yourself? or are we intruding on a private moment?" the cameraman joked.

you and yunho laughed a bit before you spoke up, knowing you'd have to since recurring watchers would already know your costar's name. "im chem. im 24 years old, and this is my first time taking a big dick in three years." yunho eyed you with lust and amusement as you felt his hand pull away from your own and rest on your thigh, massaging the inner part of it. damn, you just love his hands touching your skin.

"wow! that sounds amazing," the cameraman responded. "so is yunho's your first real massive cock or one of many?"

"first," you smiled, looking at yunho and feeling the need to kiss him deeply. he has such kissable lips, you thought as the cameraman did his best to make small talk.

"and yunho," the camera directed to his frame. "when was the last time you had someone this petite in size?"

yunho smiled and danced the pads of his fingers on your inner thighs, making you giggle. "a bit too long. i have a feeling however that she might be the only small girl ill ever fuck," he laughed. you laughed as well, hoping that after this session you could get to know each other more as friends since he seems to be such a loving guy.

"by the end of this, viewers would definitely want more of you two, that's for sure," the cameraman said, being turned on by the way yunho seemed to avoid any more small talk by giving you small neck kisses, surprising you from the pleasurable gasp you let out. "ill stop talking and let you two do your thing before you get blue balls," he joked towards yunho, now training himself to keep quiet and focus on recording the action.

and action began. yunho lifted his hand to place it on one side of your neck while continuing his assault on the other side, sucking softly in small attempts to arouse you without leaving any marks that would be hard to heal the next day. you breathed heavily and let out low moans, grabbing his biceps in an attempt to grasp a sense of reality while remembering to stay pretty for the camera. yunho, disregarding the camera entirely and only focusing on making a mini mess of you, quickly trailed his kisses from your now cold neck by the saliva left from the kisses down to your chest, stopping at your cleavage before looking up at you so that you can pull the spaghetti straps down.

once you did, he took your bra-less breast in his large hand and began sucking. "f-fuck," you sputtered out in a shaky breath. your boobs weren't small at all, with you sporting a good c-cup, but under yunho's hands they felt like small dodge balls. you rested your hands on his head as he suckled on your breasts and flicked the nipples with the flat part of his tongue. somehow you kept leaking in your panties even though by now you would've stopped. he was that good.

yunho plopped off your boobs before looking up at you with glossy lips. "your tits feel amazing in my mouth, baby," he said with that charming, captivating smile of his, making you let out a moan and a small giggle. you, being almost too impatient and too uncomfortable in your underwear, instantly pulled it down. yunho chuckled at your hastiness. "look at that," he said, "chem wants me to fuck her that bad," he commented as if you weren't there, causing the rest of the crew to chuckle. his small humiliating stunt had you blushing, and yunho saw it. "i cant wait to fuck this tiny pussy open," he stated with a lick to his already wet lips, making you whimper slightly. "but first i have to stretch you out more."

yunho took his index and middle fingers in his mouth and sucked on it, getting cocky by the way you looked at him with reciprocated lust. he slowly slid them out his mouth before running them up and down your aching center, causing you to jolt. after a few more teasing strokes, he pushed them in. "ooh- fuck! f-uu" you cried out. the stretch of his two fingers alone felt like more than whatever toy or other fingers you could ever have had in you. you had to let yunho know that. "shit, you're so deep." you said, mouth agape as he added his ring finger in before experimentally wiggling them inside to help stretch you out, immediately reaching your g spot and he curled them up. your head hung back on the couch and you couldn't stop your heavy breathing as he began to thrust his fingers in and out of you.

"you respond so well to my fingers baby," yunho praised, making you feel proud of yourself. he kept his pace until he felt that you've loosened up for him, slowly pulling out. "let's show them how much i stretched out this tight cunt so far." you groaned aloud when you felt the camera zoom in on your dark pinkish channel that was being held open by yunho's long digits, arousal still pooling out of it. when the cameraman felt that he got a good enough view for the future viewers, he stood back into his preview spot as yunho lifted you up and gave you the first proper kiss in the entire time you two spent so far.

his lips were as kissable as you hoped. better, even.

"now i want to make you feel good," you smiled at him. apparently that grin went straight to his pants. "you cant seem to stop growing, can you?" you smirked. yunho could only groan and help you take off your now sweaty dress while he pulled off his top. you went to his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers and was comically smacked in the face with a cock that was impossible to naturally visualize.

yunho, seeing the clear shock on your face, smirked and tapped your cheek with his thumb. "told you im big," he teased. you came to your senses and stuck out your tongue to lick his head. usually you hated giving blowjobs because the actors barely took care of themselves as their dicks always felt rough, like sandpaper. yunho's head alone, however, felt soft yet rigid, and the feel around your mouth made you want to suck on it all day. "please, baby. take all of me in your mouth," yunho breathed out as he pushed your head forward. you relaxed your throat as you let all his girth enter your warm cavern. he filled all your mouth, and even though you could, it was difficult to swallow on him.

soon enough you used one of your unoccupied hands to wrap around the base so you could properly bob up and down while your other hand played with his balls. grunting, yunho took the back of your head and started thrusting roughly in your mouth, causing you to cough harshly.

when you pulled off for some air, yunho immediately rubbed your back. "shit, sorry chem," he apologized. "you alright?" you were glad he didn't want to hurt you or cause harm, even for porn. once you nodded yes, he smiled and continued in that manner: fucking your mouth harshly, your gag reflex retaliating hard, and him making sure you were okay to continue.

soon enough his moans got louder and louder until you felt a warm substance fill your mouth without warning. it tasted-- sweet. not necessarily like candy, but you were addicted. it overflowed your mouth and spilled on the sides, making you wipe that part off with your arm. "i could suck on you all day," you praised him with a plop, seeing how his once softened length got instantaneously hard again for no other reason than to feel you inside.

"before you guys get to the main course!" the cameraman interjected. you frowned and were about to protest until you saw him hand yunho a bottle of oil and an XL size condom. you almost forgot that 'big dick' men can cum a lot without knowing, and judging from his girth and the load you took on earlier, it was best they gave him the biggest condom size there was.

after rolling on the condom, yunho maneuvered you on the couch to have your hands on the back edge of it and your knees on the sitting part while he stood behind you, the camera moving in front of you both. he then took the oil from earlier and poured it on your round ass, you humming at the cool sensation on your heated skin. once he felt that he poured enough oil, yunho massaged it onto your ass and lower back to give the viewers a small example of how sexy you look. you knew that once you saw the cameraman move to where you and your costar would soon connect.

licking his hand, the tall man rubbed your core to prepare you still for his cock.

"ready, baby?" he asked.

you never felt more ready in your life.

"please," you answered while pushing your hips back, begging to be filled.

yunho angled himself to your bare pussy, rubbing the head up and down to collect your leaking arousal before slowly pushing himself in with a grunt. you surged forward, scared by how hard he seemed to be pushing in until he leaned whispered to you with a kiss to your back shoulder. "it's just the tip, chem. i haven't even gone in yet". you relaxed and let yunho continue.

you gasped loud and let out a high pitched whine once you really felt him push in. "fuck! fuck, fuck fuck fuck" you repeated as you felt more and more of his girth enter you. it was so much, you thought it would never stop. you even assumed that with a sharp pain you felt that he 'popped your cherry' (stretching you to oblivion) once more. he was that good. and that big.

once yunho was all in, massaging your hips in the process, he looked down and let out a long groan. the camera zoomed in to see his huge cock disappear in your tiny core, and you just knew then that the crew was in shock and arousal. all that could be seen was your oiled ass and yunho's hands holding onto your hips. your core clenched onto him like dath grip.

"im gonna move, chem. you feel so good that i might cum right away if i don't," yunho said rather breathlessly. you felt glad that you were affecting him as well as he was affecting you. he slowly slid in and out, small inches until he fucked half his length into you at a fast pace, with you screaming.

the more he fucked into you, the harder he bruised your spot, and your responses to his actions only made him go harder. "yunho! yun, baby i can't- im-- im-" you were slurring your words until you felt your more rare orgasm rip through you. "FUCK!"

yunho felt his thighs get wet and smirked once he saw the mess you made. he quickly pulled out and frantically rubbed your clit for you to squirt harder, which you did with a high pitched groan. you tried to push his hand away, but he just hooked your arms behind your back and continued his assault on your clit until you gave no more. he gave a slap to your ass and you moaned at the stinging feeling.

yunho turned you around and rested you on your side. he leaned forward and squished your cheeks between his fingers. "this pussy's mine for now, understand?" you nodded, whimpering once you heard him respond with "good girl". you wanted nothing more than to be a good girl for him and have his thick cock back inside you.

yunho oiled your ass again and rubbed it over you before lifting your leg up over his shoulder and once again breaching your hole, making you moan out loud. you were glad this was a studio and not an actual house. as the tall man went back to his brutal pace, he started to taunt you.

"i bet no one's ever made you feel half as good as this, have they?" he said. "such a tight little pussy that barely gets properly fucked. no wonder you're all over the place fucking different guys-- you needed dick from a real man. don't worry, baby. ill be the only man you'll want to ever fuck you."

yunho's dirty talk along with the delicious drag from his cock along your walls made you go completely dumb, nodding to whatever he said. you babbled incoherently, and a thin line of drool left your red lips. the crew were equally as turned on, very happy that they paired you two. he has to fuck you at least more than once now; you're too good to him to not.

yunho wiped off the saliva that left your mouth and wiped it on your erect nipples, making you whimper. "aww, is chem getting close from yunho's fat cock inside of her?" he angled his thrust to directly slam into your spot, causing you to jolt and cry out. "i want you in tears before you cum."

he again pulled out, making you whine at the loss. yunho smacked your reddened ass before sitting on the couch and lifting you on his lap. after re-oiling your ass for the third time, he allowed for the cameraman to move where the viewers could see where your shiny bottom would sit on his juice-covered cock.

you hummed and grunted a bit at how he didn't fit from you sitting by yourself, so when he forced himself all the way in you by pushing you down by your hips, your hands flew to his shoulders and shook violently. "yun, baby. fuck me, please. i need your cock," you begged.

your begging made yunho immediately fuck up into you as you began to incoherently babble again, along with your high pitched whimpers. despite your attempts to hold off, you found yourself wanting to let go after two minutes of yunho's thrusting. "i wanna cum," you whined out, brows furrowing from the intense pleasure. "please let me cum. daddy, please."

yunho almost stopped then and there. once he heard that word, his brain short-circuited as he then started thrusting roughly like a mad man. "cum for daddy, tiny."

"shit, daddy~~," you whined out while you felt yunho brutally assaulting your spot. you breathed out a satisfied moan as you felt yourself clench and cum once again on yunho's cock.

the grip your core had on yunho's lower self made it hard for him to move, causing yunho to feel the pleasure of your pussy practically trying to milk his cock dry. although he felt himself cumming, he needed to let go on your body for the camera view. he pulled out the best he could, discarded the condom in the near trash bin and jerked off to your spent body until he came with a loud moan. you felt ropes and ropes of thick cum land on your chest and pelvis. you were so glad he didn't cum in you unprotected. yet, since you plan for him to some day.

the cameraman allowed a few more moments to pass before speaking up. "so you're both spent, huh?" you and yunho both chuckled before nodding. "let's see the results of big boy here," he joked. you opened up your legs while the camera zoomed in once more. your pussy was red and a bit agape, your engorged clit visibly throbbing. "he fucked you good, didn't he." the cameraman commented mindlessly.

you nodded and chuckled before closing your legs. "yeah, he did." yunho sat next to you and pulled you up for another kiss. "no way am i leaving him. that cock was way too good," you stated half jokingly.

yunho laughed before rubbing your hips. "im glad because i don't want you to leave either." you both made out with each other until the producer wrapped up the scene.

you both got blankets from to wrap around, and after asking how the session went, yunho invited you to lunch. you were excited to see if his friendship skills were as good as his sex skills. but you had a feeling that they'd be better than you'd expect.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

would you believe me if i said that ive had this in the drafts since late july? yeah, and i kept revising it... hope you liked it!

[akc-g]

the thing is ultimately idc what ppl do. u can do whatever u want. nobody can stop u from doing what u want. fictional characters ARE just fictional characters. ur not doing anything illegal aside from technicalities that we can argue abt all day. all of this ultimately IS debating based on ur personal morals n frameworks n none of this tangibly affects reality. there are sliding scales of acceptable for like everything in these discussions etc etc dark media has its place. i dont like that u will get, like, 'anti' spaces for lack of a better word that refuse to have anything troubling in fanwork or leave room for nuance. i think these spaces are very kid-orientated n we as adults need to actually argue w each other not 15yos who just learned the concept of fandom but im getting off topic.

my points onwards are that fiction is ALWAYS grounded in reality in some way - the characters exist for a reason, the story exists for a reason, fanwork exists for a reason. asking urself why you enjoy xyz n how you enjoy it is like a thing everyone should be asking themselves and your feelings from that also exist for a reason. nothing exists out of nothing. my feelings on this subject don't exist out of nothing - your feelings on this subject don't exist out of nothing.

and the second point that hasnt been talked to death is that, okay, yeah, fandom politics do not affect real life. but if they don't matter, if ppl upset dont matter, then why do YOU need them to matter? why is it just vacum sealed fiction when someone complains but when you talk about it, its suddenly important queer media? it clearly matters to you. it clearly has an impact on you. why can't it have an equally negative impact on others as the positive impact it had on you? why does fandom only matter when it helps? besides that something not touching the real world can be true while it very much effecting the niche space you inhabit, which is important in this context.

i respect that ppl get defensive of their interests and the things that bring them comfort, letting go of coping mechanisms or simply happy interests is difficult. i generally dont think ppl on the 'opposite side' are some kind of inhumane monsters. we r all just ppl trying to find something to make ourselves feel better abt our world. what makes you feel safe isn't inherently a good thing tho just bc it makes u fuzzy. this goes for like. everything ever but *post context*. ig my whole point is less ppl have no media literacy but that ppl deliberately have none bc ppl want to stay comfortable in the niches theyve created.

[casgirl]

People are so weird about the most unimportant shit ever. Yes Supernatural is bad. I’ve seen it. I enjoy it. It makes me crazy but like, I’m an adult that has a job and buys groceries. I cannot be bothered to care about how lame some things in a CW show were, ESPECIALLY because I have the power to make those things better in my head or by indulging in fan works. Being upset about malicious or offensive writing is one thing. Being upset about if a show is good or not is another. I used to be one of those people that shit on Riverdale for all kinds of “reasons” without even watching it because that’s what people did. Now I realize that yeah, it’s kinda stupid, but it’s fun right? Then that’s a good thing! Gotham is bad but it’s silly and I like it. Star Wars is fucked up and I love it. I watched a commentary video of two twitter lesbians genuinely complaining about how unwoke and lame the High School fucking Musical movies are and I just had to go outside for awhile on their behalf.

I guess people just don’t know that they can enjoy things that aren’t like Oscar worthy cinematic masterpieces that are groundbreaking generational and cultural phenomena or some shit.

I didn’t mean to full on rant but just know that 9 times out of 10 when I’m tired of watching people make big deals out of meaningless fictional bullshit online I come back to your account or I listen to baitpod because it reminds me that there are still normal people out there

there’s like a fine line between making fun of a show’s ridiculous writing vs being like genuinely upset about it and if you’re gonna constantly make yourself mad about a show’s bad writing you can just find something that you think is better! like i love being a hater we all know that but like im always gonna just keep it to the level where i’m like still having fun and am enjoying most of the content and if it gets to a point where it’s making me miserable i just move on. hence why i don’t really talk about star wars or asoiaf anymore. like. you’re not gonna Fix a tv show by posting on tumblr about plot holes every day.  

i feel like riverdale is an entirely different beast bc like, most of the people making those long as video essays about how the writing is “cringey” are like adults in their twenties. and riverdale is a teen show for teens. people with english degrees are NOT the target demographic for this show! like you can enjoy it for what it is or you can watch idk. the wire or something. 

i guess this is all a bit hypocritical of me bc im like. a media studies person in real life but that’s also like WHY i am never going to write about supernatural in any academic capacity. like its something lighthearted that i enjoy and i want to keep it that way lol. also i think the embarrassment of a professor reading any of my takes on supernatural would kill me outright. anyways, thank you for the ask and thank you very much for saying i’m a normal person it really does mean a lot.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 8: The Light]

Hi y’all! Thank you so much for reading and supporting my writing. Each and every message/reblog/comment/etc makes me smile, and it’s a dream come true to get to share my work with you! 💜

Chapter summary: John shares a secret; Y/N excels at Scrabble; Brian makes peace; Roger suffers a misstep.

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, medical stuff, pregnancy (not who you think!).

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @bookandband​ @queen-crue​ @jennyggggrrr​ @madeinheavxn​ @whatgoeson-itslate​ @brianssixpence​ @simonedk​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

Medicine teaches you to be fiercely skeptical of things that seem too good to be true. Bodies fail—completely and inevitably, though the timing may differ—and patients lie. Medical records don’t, fingerprints don’t, track marks up the underside of an arm don’t, blood and paternity tests don’t, oftentimes the eyes don’t; but given half a chance, people will lie themselves right into the grave.

Those bruises, doc? Got ‘em from a nasty fall down the stairs. I’m lucky I didn’t break my neck!

Nope, never done drugs, not even a joint, I swear on my mother’s life.

I’ll give it up, I’ll go to rehab. Never again. I promise. I don’t want to die.

Doc, I don’t care if the timing doesn’t seem quite right. My husband IS the father. There’s been no one else!

That doting fiancé is flirting with the nurses. Those grown-up children who fluff pillows and dab away tears are asking about the will. That wife is never going to testify against her abusive husband. That addict is going to relapse again...and again...and again. Are there exceptions? Of course. But if you get in the habit of trusting people—of believing all those tantalizingly attractive, hopeful lies—it’ll break your heart six ways to Sunday. There is no perfection in medicine, and there are very rarely miracles.

And so during those first few weeks with Roger—as you watch him from the reeling crowd, from the other side of the tour bus, from across the restaurant table, from the tiny viewfinder of the Canon F-1—you can’t stop searching for the cracks, the shadows, the lies, the dark malignancies breeding beneath the surface. Because everything about Roger Taylor is too good to be true. He’s bright and he’s loud and he’s brilliant and he’s always smiling, always warm. He careens backstage after every show—you keep bracing yourself not to be disappointed when the novelty wears away, when it ends, but it doesn’t—pushing aside roadies and reporters, shouting “Where’s the love of my life? Where’s my Boston babe?” with the most absurd grin you’ve ever seen until he finds you, collides with you, scoops you up and spins you in ungainly circles as your toes skim the floor. Then he cradles your face in his scarred hands and kisses you, breathes you in, tells you everything about the show (even though you were there to see it) in a rush of pure, manic adrenaline. And you stumble into some dressing room together—or a hotel room, or a taxi, or a limousine, or an elevator—and finally it’s your bare thighs his palms are gliding over, your tongue tasting the Heineken and craving on his lips, and it feels impossible for that to ever change. Roger is too good to be true, that’s undeniable; but when you watch him with those doubtful, cautious eyes, you can’t find anything but light.

He wakes up at 6 a.m. to join you on a bayou tour in New Orleans, taps his cigarette over the moss-covered sides of the boat, points out the alligators with leathered skin and ancient yellow irises lurking in the depths. He walks Fremont Street with you in Las Vegas and makes you choose his numbers for the Roulette wheel, for his fate. He snaps photos of you on a sun-drenched balcony in Miami, roaring cobalt waves crashing in the background. He takes you to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, the Art Institute of Chicago, the National Aquarium in Baltimore, the Philadelphia Zoo, Myrtle Beach and the Saint Louis Arch and the Santa Monica Pier. Because he was telling the truth when he said he could show you the world all those months ago when Queen was at Top of the Pops; he was telling you the truth about the list that’s etched into the rushing scarlet chambers of his heart.

When the American leg of the tour ends and the band gets a brief reprieve in London, you move into Roger’s paltry, disorganized flat and scrub away all the remnants of his past life: dust and empty cigarette boxes and women’s socks, ashes and copies of Vogue, a tube of lipstick that isn’t yours. You don’t complain, don’t even frown; you’re under no delusions that something eternal can be founded on resentment, on lies. And so you clear out the clutter and open the windows so sunshine and crisp spring air can breathe through the apartment, so you can both start fresh along with the bellflowers and delphiniums and roses and the tawny newborn ducklings scampering behind their mothers. You hang photos from the tour and John’s sketches on the refrigerator, place your Canon F-1 and pink conch shell from Ostia on the nightstand, litter the drawers with your own socks and makeup. You teach Roger how to sew (although he’s not much good at it) and how to treat blisters (although you’ll always be there to do it for him); and in return Roger teaches you how to trust, how to believe, how to stop searching desperately for faults in the light.  

On the second day of April, Queen boards their flight to Tokyo. Brian settles into a plushy, billowing blanket and loses himself in an astronomy magazine; he’s an engaged man now, an honest man in the eyes of society at large...and, far more importantly, his parents. Freddie pens lyrics in his notebook, humming disjointedly, napping like a cat when the mood strikes him. Roger snacks constantly and tries to get John chatting, but John is particularly subdued today, preoccupied, prone to gazing unfocusedly at the clouds that drift by outside and wringing his hands.

And you think, as you peer down into the glistening sapphire waters of the East China Sea: Brian’s a willow tree, Freddie’s a lightning storm, Roger is wildfire...but what is John?

Something deep, something beautiful and strong and constant and hidden.

The ocean, you decide as Queen’s private plane soars over the quicksilver waves that conceal the abyss. John is the ocean.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You didn’t have to stay, you know.”

John is lying on his back under a small grove of cherry blossom trees outside the hotel, sketching grey outlines of petals and arcing branches in a new notebook. He hasn’t given any sign that he heard you coming, doesn’t turn his head to see you. You freeze, startled.

“How’d you know it was me?!”

“You have very distinct footsteps. Dainty, yet purposeful.” He sets aside his notebook and sits up, crossing his long legs. “Why didn’t you go to lunch?”

“Because you didn’t. You turned down ramen, and you never turn down ramen. I was worried. Plus someone has to make sure a roving posse of screaming Japanese girls doesn’t carry you off.”

That makes him laugh. The Japanese fans are inexplicably obsessed with John; or maybe it’s not so inexplicable, maybe they just have a better eye for quiet, unassuming wonders. “Always so thoughtful.”

You sit down beside him, open a pack of chocolate-flavored Pocky and offer John a piece, frown when he lights a cigarette instead. “That’s really bad for you. Seriously. You should quit.”

“At last. One thing you and Brian agree on.” He exhales a gale of smoke and peers up at the cherry blossoms.

“John?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t break up with Veronica, did you?” Chrissie and Mary didn’t mention anything about her tearful devastation, and you suspect they would have had John gone through with it.

He sighs. “I did not.”

“And...are we feeling...okay about that...?”

He twirls the cigarette nervously between his fingers. After a silence, he surrenders. “Look, I haven’t told anybody yet, but I’d tell you first anyway. So here it goes.” He glances over at you guiltily, gloomily, wishing he could disappear. “I didn’t break up with Veronica because she’s pregnant.”

Your jaw falls open. A half-eaten stick of Pocky rolls out of your mouth and onto the grass. She’s what? She’s WHAT?

“Please don’t be disappointed,” John pleads. “I’m disappointed in myself enough for both of us, believe me.”

“I...I...I’m not disappointed, John, I’m just...” You blink at him. “Oh my god.”

He nods, acquiescent. “I’m in complete agreement.”

You shake your head, gaping at him, stunned; and suddenly you don’t like what you’re feeling at all. Because it isn’t just shock and horror, it isn’t just apprehension. You hate the thought of him touching her, of her delicate white hands on him, of innocence stripped away and memories impressed into muscle, into soul.

Because you know she’s not right for him. Because you know he doesn’t love her the way he should. Because you want the best for him and always have.

Oh, there’s a comforting rationale; but is it true?

And then: You fucking hypocrite. Since when do you get an opinion on who anyone sleeps with?

“It must have happened in January,” John says miserably. “Right before we left for the States. She didn’t want to tell me over the phone...I guess maybe she thought if she did I’d never come back. So she told me as soon as I landed in London. And here we all are.”

You stare down at your shoes, trying to compose yourself. “What are you going to do?”

“There’s only one option.”

“Actually, there are quite a few. But I know you’d never consider them.” John’s father died when he was ten, and he never talks about it; which is precisely how you know it’s a wound that can’t ever heal, a gash that goes straight down to the bone. He would never leave his child, never banish them to some dusty, repressed corner of his consciousness while he moves on with a blissfully unencumbered life. You whisper: “I’m so fucking sorry, John.”

That snaps something in him, something he was choking back. He buries his face in his hands. “What the fuck am I doing?” he moans. “I’m twenty-three years old, I’m broke, I turned down loads of jobs, good jobs, as an electrical engineer, I’ve somehow become the bassist in an increasingly famous rock band...I mean, how the hell did this happen? How did any of this happen?”

“It’ll be okay,” you insist with newfound resolve. I have to save him. I have to protect him.

John rolls those soft greyish eyes, hopeless, distraught. “Sure.”

“It will be, I promise you. The tour is going great. I had my doubts about the band when I first met you, I’ll admit it, I didn’t know if there was a future for Queen. But you’ve made me a believer. You’ve made millions of people all over the world believers. The money will keep rolling in, Queen will finally start seeing some of it, you won’t be broke forever. You’ll have two more months on the road and then we’ll be back in London, and it’ll be on to recording the next album, more shows, more money...the hard times are almost over, John. You can do this. And I’ll help you.”

His brow furrows. “You will?”

“Of course. If it’s easier for Veronica, it’ll be easier for you. So I’ll be extra friendly, take her to appointments when you’re busy, help organize the wedding, babysit the littlest Deacon whenever she needs me to. We’ll get through this. I’ll be there to help every step of the way.”

“You’re happy, aren’t you?” he asks suddenly. “You and Roger. You aren’t going anywhere.” He’s reading you closely, sifting through your words and forced smile for something deeper.

“I’m happy,” you assure him. “You don’t need to be concerned about that. I’m staying with the band, I’m staying in London. Whenever Queen is home, that is.”

He nods, but perhaps that wasn’t exactly what he was looking for. He finally accepts a piece of Pocky from you and takes a bite. “Then I guess we’ll plan for a summer wedding.”

“You could do a double one with Brian and Chrissie.”

He laughs so hard he almost inhales the Pocky, then doubles over coughing. “I think Bri would rather slit his own throat, but a charming thought. Thank you for that. Bravo.”

You smile at John, genuinely this time. “You’re going to be an amazing father. I hope you aren’t worried about that part of it, at least.”

“Will you be their godparent?”

“What? Me?!”

“Yeah. Because, you know...” John averts his gaze. “You’d be the person I would want to raise them if something happened to me and Veronica. You’re the most dedicated, stubborn, capable, nurturing, remarkable person I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend. And maybe Roger’s your best friend and you’re his, and that’s all fine, that’s alright, but you’re still mine.”

“Roger is a lot of incredible things, but he’s not my best friend.” You lie flat on the grass and lace your hands behind your head, tracking the weightless snowy clouds as they float by above. When did we become adults? When did all of these rules catch up to us? “I would be honored to be your child’s godparent.”

John plops down beside you. “Don’t tell the others yet, okay? I want to wait until the tour’s over. I don’t want them to panic and think I’m leaving and try to replace me or anything.”

“They wouldn’t try to replace you, John.”

“No?” he asks doubtfully.

“No. Roger knows it, Fred knows it, I think even Bri knows it.” You reach out and weave a lock of his hair through your fingers as cherry blossom petals tumble in the breeze. “You’re irreplaceable.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Sod,” Freddie mocks. “That’s the best you could do? Really? Sod?”

Roger flings up his hands in frustration. “Freddie, I’ve got like a million Cs!”

“You could have done cod,” Brian notes, sipping a cup of hot tea. “Cods, actually.”

Roger glowers down at his Scrabble tiles. “Fuck.”

“And I’m so delighted he didn’t!” You place your tiles, expanding on sod to make rhapsody. John high-fives you and records the points in his notebook. Freddie and Brian groan in defeat.

“What the hell is a rhapsody?!” Roger snatches the Official Scrabble Dictionary off the table and flips through it.

“It’s a, like a...” Freddie waves his cigarette, scattering smoke through the air. “It’s like an epic poem. Or an opera. With lots of bizarre, different parts all pieced together.”

“That sounds made up.”

Freddie cackles. “Darling, it’s a real thing, I swear!”

Roger locates the pertinent page in the Scrabble Dictionary and his shoulders slump. “Goddammit. Fucking...too smart...nerdy...college-educated...girlfriend.” He drags you into his lap and kisses your temple. “You’re lucky you’re cute. I don’t usually tolerate being conquered like this.”

Bri smirks from behind his teacup. “I rather think you conquered her, Rog.”

“Oh, a rare good one from Bri!” Freddie trills as everyone laughs, although John soon busies himself with clearing empty bottles and cigarette butts off the table.

“Yes,” Roger agrees. “Against her superior judgment, I finally won her over. Only took eight months. Which is approximately...wait, let me count...seven and a half months longer than it has ever taken me before.”

You trace your fingertips across his stubbled cheeks, his soft lips, his little dark blond tufts of sideburns. “No one knows how to say no to you, do they?”

“It’s impossible. I’m too charming. Blindingly heroic. Perseus in the flesh.” He kisses your forehead and steadies you, his hands on your waist, as the brakes squeal and the tour bus lurches to a halt.

Freddie leaps to his feet and claps. “Alright, darlings! Off to the new digs we go. Deaky, hand me my shoes, they’re under the table...yes, right there...and toss over Brian’s hideous clogs as well.”

You help the roadies and the band drag luggage into the hotel (no small feat, as the elevator is out of order), unpack your toothbrush and hairbrush and a floral-patterned dress for dinner, giggle as you listen to Roger’s feral, raspy singing in the shower. It’s something about loving a car, how perfectly on-brand for him. Then Roger goes to fetch Freddie and John for dinner while you find Brian. Bri is collapsed on his bed in a striped t-shirt and jeans, freshly-washed and dewy, gazing up at the ceiling in a daze.

You tap gently on the doorframe. “Bri? You want to join us for dinner? There’s a sushi place a few blocks away that’s a local legend, apparently. Lots of veggie options too.”

He looks over at you. You haven’t spoken about the argument since you had it two months ago. Brian sometimes grimaces or smirks or rolls his willowy viridescent eyes, but he never says anything; not to you, and not to Roger as far as you’re aware. “I’m sorry,” he says simply. “I may have been out of line before. Incorrect, even.”

“No need to apologize, Bri. I’ve forgotten all about it.” You haven’t, but there’s no reason for Brian to know that.

“I just want what’s best for you. For you to be happy.”

“I know, Brian.” You cross the room and take his long, moon-white, artful hands in your own. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll be in the wedding party, won’t you? I know Chris will ask.”

“Of course. And I’ll proudly wear whatever dreadfully tacky and uncomfortable bridesmaid dresses she picks out.”

“Even if they’re a frightful shimmery green?”

“Oh god.” You swallow noisily. “I’ll still do it. And then burn the photos.”

Brian chuckles as he climbs out of bed. “In a stroke of luck, I suspect she’ll ask you to take the pictures. So you can avoid being in them as much as you’d like. And conveniently lose the unflattering ones.”

You study him thoughtfully. “Are you happy, Brian?”

“I am. Chrissie’s excited, my parents are thrilled, they’ll be sitting in the front row with the proudest smiles you’ve ever seen. Next comes a proper house, and children, and all the rest of it.” But something in those mellow olivey eyes is resigned, melancholy. His words from two months ago echo in your skull: It’s necessary. It’s self-preservation. Because sometimes the people who set us on fire would burn us alive.

“Do you still think about New Orleans?” you ask softly. About the woman he’d fallen in love with there before you ever met Queen, about the utopian passion he never quite stops searching for. Everyone has demons, secrets, shadowy trenches like cracks in porcelain; you’ve learned all about Brian’s. What about Roger’s? What about mine?

He shrugs, staring out the window at the dusky skyline of Yokohama. “Maybe I’ll always think about New Orleans. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have to grow up and start taking responsibility.”

“Responsibility,” you reply cynically, before you can stop yourself. “Is that all love is about anymore?”

“Not for you. Not for Roger. You both want your freedom, your adventure, your true and uncomplicated love. And you’ll get to keep it.”

For now. But you don’t say that. Instead, you smile appeasingly and gesture for Brian to follow you out into the hallway.

The others are waiting by the door to the stairwell: John in a smart grey suit, Freddie in his black-and-yellow jacket, Roger in sunglasses and a ridiculous leopard-print vest he’d dug out of a trashcan somewhere and precariously tall boots.

“At last, Nurse Nightingale and my darling Brian!” Freddie chirps. “Come on, I’m positively famished, and also I’ve bet five pounds that I can consume more sake shots than Roger and I could really use the dough.”

Roger pushes through the door, leading the way. “Prepare to lose!”

“Roger, please,” you implore. “New livers don’t grow on trees, and I can’t give you half of mine. I’m the wrong blood type.”

Roger laughs as he bounds down the steps, then whirls to grin up at you as he walks backwards. “Relax, Deaks will share! You’re type A, aren’t you John—?”

Roger’s heel slips and he plummets down the flight of stairs. He tumbles as the four of you shriek in horror and bolt after him, slams into the wall of the landing, ricochets off of it and plunges down the next flight as well. There’s blood, you think frenziedly as you descend, screaming Roger’s name. There’s blood all over the steps.

Roger, crumpled on the maroon-streaked landing, slowly unravels and groans. He glances down, appraises himself, then hammers his left fist against the concrete wall of the stairwell, roaring in raw agony and rage. “No no no no no no!”

“Roger—!”

And then you see it.

Roger’s right arm hangs uselessly, unnaturally, his snapped radius bloody and splitting through the skin.

[lilyharvord]

Some new bookish asks for you all

Hi I didn’t get tagged to do this, but I’m bored and I’ve got some hot takes. I’m going to start the chain. Imma tag some peeps too. Do the whole thing if you want or not at all. @scxrletguardsdawn @evangelineartemiasamos @cptdanvxrs

1. Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why? 

Honeslty a hard tie between The Red Queen Series and Elsewhere. Okay, so while RQ does have it’s flaws, it was a book series I started my sophomore year of high school when I was starting to reach the bottom of the barrel mentally and was realizing that maybe I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was. That book got me through high school, along with Glass Sword. When I say I weeped reading Mare Barrow’s internal dialogue in GS I was actually sitting under my covers junior/senior year WEEPING with a flashlight because on one hand I had never felt closer to a character, and on the other had never felt so understood in a book before. As for Elsewhere... that book (while being a young readers book) profoundly affected how I view life, death, and everything in between. I highly recommend it. You have to have a little patience with it as an older reader, because it is probably meant for middle school readers, but some of the things said in that book are definitely meant for older readers to ponder.

2. Are you an Austen person or a Bronte person?

Haut take. Both. (P&P holds a very special place in my heart)

3. Are there any genres you will not read?

Contemporary romance and Contemporary/non-fiction books (i’ve tried. I really have to read these and I just cant do it.) 

4. Are you a fast or slow reader?

Depends on your definition of slow/fast. I’d say I’m fast, I can read 500-600 page books in a day, but that’s going morning until almost 2 the next morning. 

5. What was your relationship with books like as a child?

They were my escape. I was heavily bullied in elementary/middle school so I would read 2-3 in a week to just escape. I think this is why I can’t read contemporary stuff, I need the fantasy. 

6. Are you the type of person who will read a book to the end whether you like it or not, or will you put it down straight away if you’re not feeling into it?

Honestly, normally I’ll push through. I think the only one I physically put down because I couldn’t take it was ACOWAR. My friend made me finish it two years or so ago so that she could complain without having to explain everything before she did. 

7. Have you ever despised something you have read?

*side eyes the entirety of Throne of Glass and A Court of Wings and Ruin* 

8. Do you prefer to read first person or third person?

Nope. But I do prefer to write in 1st person (it’s cheating, I know.)

9. Are you for or against multiple narrators in the same book?

Give me all the POVs please. 

10. Bookmarks, dog ears or leaving the novel open and face down to keep your spot?

All the above. I’ll use my dog if I have to mark my place if I have nothing nearby XD

11. Do you prefer to read at a certain time of day?

Nope. If I’ve got a book that I’m reading, I’ll read at anytime.

12. Do you need to finish a book before you can move on to the next one, or will you have multiple books going at once?

I feel called out, because right now I have like three books that I’m trying to read at the same time, but I normally like to finish a book before starting another

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

The wand chooses the wizard. Lol normally I find a book that has a good premise that I like and normally I’ll read that. Although I do take suggestions from people.

14. What is your favourite children’s book?

This is very hard but The Tale of Despereaux, or The Wrinkle In Time series. Does the Book Thief count? Cause if so that books on this list too. If we’re talking really really young: The Original Velveteen Rabbit or Goodnight Moon (my mom used to read both to me when I was little and i have vivid memories of that). 

15. Do you agree that Jane Eyre should be considered a feminist novel?

Young high school me vehemently says yes. But older wiser me squints and says: hmmmmnnnnnnnn maybe. 

16. What’s your favourite of Shakespeare’s plays?

Hamlet, Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, and Macbeth

17. Do you know any poetry by heart?

Sadly no. 

18. Did you enjoy the Hunger Games?

I’m unashamed to say I still do. 

19. E-reader or traditional book?

I like traditional books, but the older I get the more I like E-readers because it makes it so much easier to transport all my babies. 

20. Do you read in the bathroom?

not really. 

21. Ideal reading position?

Curled up somewhere with a drink. 

22. Hardcover or paperback?

Which ever has the prettier cover XD

23. Nicest edition or cheapest edition?

Which ever has the prettier cover XD

24. Do you prefer happy endings or sad endings?

OOOOOOOo haut take, I prefer the ending that the book calls for. Whether it be happy or sad. 

25. Do you enjoy concepts in books to be concrete or abstract?

Depends on what I’m reading. Sometimes, I like a book that calls me to think about the world around me and question things. Other times I like to have a book I can just dive into and tear through without having to think too much. But I think all books call for us to think about abstract concepts of the universe on some level. 

26. A book you studied in school and ended up loving?

Jane Eyre, and Brave New World, Tuck Everlasting 

27. Classics or modern literature?

Is it not enough to love both equally? XD

28. Thoughts on adults reading YA?

I am an adult reading YA. I dont know if I will ever stop either. 

29. Have you ever read a book in another language?

I’ve read some easy books in spanish back when I was in high school. 

30. Have you ever written your own book?

Tee hee hee, she’s been sent to an editor and Im await his first thoughts. ((((: 

[nevadaughterofelsa]

An Icy Threat

Authors note: a piece of fiction until I can RP as Neva with a Hades.

Also had an idea for alternative ending, lemme know if you'd like to see it and I'll write it! But hopefully this will inspire someone to wanna RP with me :)

---------------------------------------------

Neva was watching the happenings in the Isle of the lost. It was her only way to spy on Auradon thanks to her old home welcoming the core four that were Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos over to their side. The Isle was full of excitement because those very four kids had managed to stop the jealous Audrey- daughter of Aurora and Prince Phillip from causing destruction in Auradon.

Part of her was sad Audrey failed, yet another part of her was joyful at her failure. It meant she could bring her own destruction to Auradon. It was four years since she had been banished to the Isle. Banishment for avenging her family’s honour and title. Hans is the true villain, not her. However in these four years, she had grown with the attitude of 'if they want me to be the monster... Fine. I’ll be the monster'.

“You’re staring into your shard deep in thought again.” A male voice echoed through her frozen forest. “Hades...” she simply greeted, waving her hand to close the images in her magical shard and turning to look at him. “And what brings the fire to my domain?” She questioned him. This made Hades smirk and chuckle. “Really Neva? What’s with the dramatics today?” He asked, walking up her ice steps to her chair, feeling glad he always his favourite clunky boots so not to slip.

“I’m just keeping up to date on the goings-on. Nothing wrong with that is there?” Neva simply retorted with a smidge false innocence in her voice. “Now, no need for the sass.” Hades began. “Neva, if you needed updates you could just ask me. I am after all one of the rare ones that doesn’t find you intimidating.” He smirked. This caused her to roll her eyes. “And that my dear Hades, requires leaving my forest and losing my temper with the VKs.” She told him back, leaning close to his face and using her index finger to flick his chin from underneath.

“You’re a flirt. You know that right?” Hades pointed out. “Only to you,” She smiled, before standing up and walking down the steps towards the trees that line the little frozen lake to her left. Hades chuckled, he was pleased he got that out of her. He had found her utterly fascinating and ironically hot for quite some time. “Now whose the one staring?” She called out, not even needing to turn to look at him to know he was watching her every move.

“Do you wanna know what’s happening in Auradon or not?” Hades changed the subject and this made Neva turn around. “They stopped Audrey. You got a clever daughter. What else is there to know?” She replied to him. “They need me to go over and save Audrey. Her use of Maleficent’s staff put her in a death like sleep. So I’m going.” Hades explained. This actually surprised Neva. “But why? She doesn’t deserve it! If I got this for what I did, she should remain in her own prison!” Neva complained, her voice full of anger. “Im not doing it for Audrey. I’m doing it for Mal...and to get my ember back.” He explained, walking over to her and placing his hands on her arms.

Neva scoffed. “Its true. I couldn’t give two damns about those heroes, but I do care about Mal. She deserves happiness.” Hades continued and this made Neva calm slightly. She always did admire his fondness for Mal, despite staying out of her life for all these years. “...fine” she simply said. Hades then got a smile on his face. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were jealous.” He joked, making Neva breaking out of his grip and conjuring a snowball to throw at his chest.

“You’re insufferable.” She commented. “And you’re surprisingly hot when you’re mad and well... For an ice cold princess.” He replied smiling smugly. Neva walked back to him. “How do you do that?” She questioned, “Do what?” “Make me fall in love with you when you make me so mad?” Neva admitted and that threw Hades off guard for a few seconds. “Because I’m a God” He smirked, grabbing her and lifting her head up to his. Just as he was about to give her the kiss he’d always wanted, there was a cough in the near distance snapping him out of the moment.

“Mal, you’re here for me already?” He asked with a sigh. “Yes dad. Audrey can’t keep waiting.” Mal told him, her arms folded across her from the cold. Carlos and Jay were seen behind her. Carlos looked utterly terrified but Neva couldn’t work out who he was terrified of. Hades looked back to Neva, “I guess we’ll save that moment for later. I’ll be back Icy” He winked, walking over to his daughter and her friends.

“I’ve told you before hot head! Don’t call me that!” she called out, throwing another snowball at him, this time hitting him square in the back. She saw Carlos jump and squeal at the action. “God you two! You’re worse than us kids!!” Mal complained leading Hades back to the limo. “She’s terrifying, no wonder the VKs don’t step foot in that forest anymore.” Carlos whispered to Jay. “If you’re going to whisper, do it quietly. She’s no scarier than any one of us.” Hades chimed in, giving the son of Cruella a sideways glance.

Hades was sent back to the Isle and his first stop was to Neva's forest. “Neva?!” He shouted looking everywhere for her. “Where is that—” “icy witch?” Came the interrupted reply from behind him.

“Just came to say I’m back and shall we continue where we left off?” He smugly told her. “You are seriously something.” Neva smiled shaking her head. Hades just grabbed her and kissed her on her lips. His warmth against her cold made for an electric contact. Stepping back to break away, Neva looked up at him and smiled. “Hades I didn’t think you were serious.” “about finding you hot as Hell?! Neva I was DEAD serious. I come to annoy you because I like you and I’ve not felt anything since Mal's mother.” He truthfully spoke, not wasting the opportunity to throw in some underworld puns in in the process.

“I’ve always liked you too. Never did anything about it because we’re so different.” Neva admitted. “Hel-lo!! The saying “opposites attract” exists for a reason.” He told her, pulling her into an embrace. Neva froze in his embrace before relaxing, placing her hands on his chest, gripping at his torn robes under his leather coat. Truth be told, Hades annoying antics made having to live on the Isle a lot more durable. She knew she would have gone utterly insane if he didn’t bug her to no end nearly every day.

Two days passed and the Isle of the lost was just like any other day. Kids either stealing, selling, or spray painting that bit of wall that had a tiny area free of paint.

On Auradon the kids and adults alike were all gathered at the entrance. Mal with her fiancée Ben and her friends on the balcony. Fairy godmother walked over and handed Mal her wand. “Ready my dear?” She asked Mal. “Definitely!” she smiled and with a wave of the wand a few words to form a spell, she brought down the barrier between the two worlds once and for all.

The Isle felt a strong kick above the Isle and as they looked up at the sky they saw the barrier break and disappear. Lead by Uma and her crew, every VK on the Isle ran across the bridge. The core four and kids of Auradon all met them at the entrance and either bowed or courtseyed, allowing the Isle kids entry to a new better life.

Hades stood on the Isle, at the bridge holding Neva’s hand. “Ready love?” He asked looking down into her blue grey eyes. She nodded, but gulped and squeezed his hand just that bit tighter. She didn’t have a good feeling her heart. Hades stepped forward with her and made it onto the bridge but he felt a tug and Neva's hand fall from his. He span round to find her still on the Isle. “You can do it Neva!” He told her reassuringly, not knowing why she stopped.

“I can’t! The separate spell keeping me here is still up!” She told him, wide eyed and close to tears. She thumped the air and Hades saw for himself the magical barrier glow when she collided with it. “Then I’ll come back” Hades told her, stepping towards her, “Hades no. Go to your daughter.” Neva stopped him. “She needs her father at her wedding.” She continued, her hurt and anger forming in her hands. Before Hades could stop her, she blasted him over the bridge where Mal met him half way. “Dad!!” She screamed as she ran to him, helping him up to his feet.

“Im fine Mal. She did it for my own sake...” He told her, walking her back into Auradon. That’s when the winds picked up strongly out of nowhere. The sun being hidden by black thick clouds, swirling in the sky. Snow began to fall heavily on Auradon.

“Neva no...” came a voice Hades hadn’t heard before. Queen Elsa and her sister Anna walked up and spoke. Hades turned back to the sky and saw the storm get worse. “Dad look!” Mal called out pointing at the ice that spread up and round the entrance of the Isle and across the bridge. “She’s freezing the whole place” Mal gasped. “If Auradon didn’t banish her this never would have happened.” Hades remarked. “We didn’t want her banished Hades.” Elsa replied, looking up at him with disapproval in her eyes. “She knows that YOU didn’t want to, but you think that makes a difference? Auradon has given the rest of the Isle a second chance to those who want it. Yet they won’t give it to your own daughter.” Hades pointed out. “Its no wonder her powers have have taken over!” Hades continued, finding it difficult to not blame Elsa.

“It’s not my sister’s fault!” Anna chimed in. “Was there ANY positive things for her over there?” Anna asked. “Yeah...me” Hades flatly spoke. This did not make Elsa happy one bit. Anna couldn’t help but smile. “Well Elsa! They do say opposites attract!” She couldn’t help but chuckle. “Not now Anna” Elsa told her sister, walking towards Belle, Beast and the Fairy Godmother. Hades watched as quiet words were spoken between them and he squinted his eyes in a judging manner.

That was until the sounds of Mal's chattering teeth reverberated through his skull. He quickly took his coat off and wrapped it round her. “Vome on, we need to get everyone inside and warmed up. Then I’m going to make myself known in that little meeting they’re having.” Hades suggested to her, guiding Mal and the other kids inside.

Neva watched as the love of her life walked away with the people of Auradon. He did what she told him to, do why was that very image making her cry. Screaming in emotional pain, she dropped to the floor, ice shooting out all around. The Isle now falling victim to her powers. “Hades...help me...” She cried, until the last of her sorrow snapped and she slowly looked up with a smirk.

“Maybe now Auradon you’ll see what I’m capable of! I’ll have my revenge and you’ll regret EVER turning me into a monster!” she practically flat, standing up and walking up onto the balcony, creating an ice throne and spires on the frontal buildings. She stared on as her ice and snow covered Auradon in a blanket white. She watched as only a few of the adults stood on the opposite balcony wrapped in several layers and blankets staring back at her. An evil smirk crept across her face.

Elsa and Anna looked out at their precious Neva. “Hades was right. We never should have let her be banished...she’s more like I was than I realized possible.” Elsa spoke to her sister, as Anna pulled her in for a side hug and rubbed her shoulder. “They didn’t give us a choice... We’ll pull her back Elsa. I promise. I pulled you back remember?” Anna reassuringly told her sister. Elsa slowly nodded as tears fell down her cheeks.

“Your version was different. You both had each other. Even the Isle exiled her...” Hades explained to them, stepping up from behind. The two sisters looked at him. “You said she had you?” Anna queried. Hades simply closed his eyes briefly and nodded. “I was the only one who would visit her. She just stayed in the forest freezing it before I did. I got her to eat and drink. Stay healthy. Thawed parts of the forest just to gain a reaction out of her numerous times.” He explained, smirking at the end bit. He remembered even those dark days fondly.

“Thank you Hades.” Elsa simply commented. “I never thought I’d thank a villain but you kept her stable. So thank you.” Elsa thanked him again, looking him in the eyes. He just simply nodded to her in recognition. He didn’t take his eyes off the Isle and Neva. “Neva..” he breathed. Elsa and Anna quietly stood out in the cold with him, despite the fact Anna could never handle the cold after she got her heart frozen when she was an teenager.

“has the dark in me finally come to light?

Am I monster full of rage?

No where to go but on a rampage, or am I just a monster....in a cage?”

Days and days went by and the storm just grew. Auradon was growing weaker from the freeze. Her revenge was finally coming to light. Elsa never left that balcony. Numerous people tried to get her inside but she refused to lose sight of her daughter.

“I’ve been talking with Hades... He’s going to go out there and talk her down.” Anna broke the silence walking up to Elsa in the morning of day 12 of this winter. Elsa looked at Anna. “How, it didn’t stop it from happening?” Elsa questioned, confused on how it could do the slightest bit help.

“Because I love her” Hades interrupted, answering her question. “If I can’t bring her back then when I’m back I’ve agreed to let Belle and Beast to destroy the bridge...” he explained, getting a lump in his throat as he spoke those words. The last thing he wanted was her to be stranded on the Isle forever. “Then bring her home. Bring my girl home” Elsa said, turning and looking him dead in the eye. She grabbed his hands and squeezed them. “I have faith you’ll bring her back to the light.”

Hades squeezed her hands back before letting go. “Keep her safe Anna. And... Look after Mal for me.” Hades requested, to which Anna hugged him with a simple “I will. Now go get our girl” before letting go.

Hades took a deep breath before exhaling and he tightly wrapped his coat round him before fighting through the storm to get across the bridge. If his theory was right, he should be able to enter the Isle with no problem and get to Neva. Neva squinted her eyes as she saw a figure in the storm battling across the bridge. “Turn back!!” She shouted, standing up, raising her hands, ready to fight.

“NEVA! ITS ME! ITS HADES!” He bellowed through the sound of the storm whirling around him. This stopped Neva dead in her tracks. Slowly lowering her hands, she waved them in a circular motion to make his walk easier to her. Her heart may be getting harder with the power in her, but she refused to have Hades struggle in her eternal winter she created. Hades stood up shit more right now the wind let up around him, and only him. It made him stop briefly to look around. He couldn’t help but be impressed by her power. It was equally beautiful as it was frightening.

Pulling his coat tighter across his chest, he power walked over to her and looked up when he reached the bottom of the balcony. “Neva this needs to stop. People are getting seriously ill from your cold.” He told her, his voice didn’t have an ounce of fear towards her or hatred. He spoke out of admiration and love. “They deserve everything they get. They trapped me in my frozen Hell, I’ll trap them in theirs.” She coldly told him, yet Hades could see the emotion of upset in her eyes. “The Isle kids don’t. I know they were scared of you, but they were just like you. Banished to this damned place. I was sent here. A God. Yet here I am trying to continue and bring back all the hard work my daughter created.” He tried to get through to her.

His plan didn’t go how he wanted as she glared and shot a barrier of icicles Infront of him, causing Hades to jump back slightly. “Neva! Please!” Hades called to her, desperation in his voice now. Since when did he ever feel the need to beg? This was not like him. He never begged but this woman was causing him to. “They wanted me to be a monster! So I became one! They’re reaping what they’ve sowed!” She all but yelled at him.

“Just let me come up! We can sort this mess out! If you stop this winter, they’ll let you back!” Hades pleaded with her. This momentarily caught Neva off guard and he wondered if he was finally getting through to the woman he had fallen in love with. Then her reaction changed back just as quick. “Lies! You think they’d welcome me back with open arms?! They’ll lock me up the moment I cross the bridge!” She told him, convinced that’d be the only outcome. Through her yelling, she unknowingly threw her arms up and shot a ice blade right at Hades, impaling him in the side.

Hades fell to the ground in pain as he made the blade thaw and melt. “HADES!!! NO!! OH MY GOD NO!” She looked wide eyed, shaking with fear at what she had done. Clambering up rapidly, she ran down her stairs and skidded down to him, the storm seizing, but the snow staying. “No no no no.. Hades I’m so sorry! I’m do so sorry.. please.. please don’t leave me, oh god..” She looked from the wound to his face quickly, running her hands through her hair and over her face. Her hands are shaking and she didn’t know what to do. “Neva, hey...hey look at me” Hades said, shivering as he felt her ice overtaking him.

Neva looked at him, tears falling from her eyes. “Its okay...I love you. I know I’m not one to say that sappy crap but...I love you.” He had to admit it to her, even if he didn’t survive her ice. “I love you too... Tell me how to fix this. Please, I can’t lose you...” She sobbed, leaning down placing her forehead on his. “Anna said love will thaw. Said you’d know what that means” He explained. She lifted her head and wracked her brain for the meaning. “Love will...thaw...love will thaw!” she remembered what her aunt told her about how her mother used the love in her heart to thaw the winter. Hovering her hands over his wound, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the ice, she thought about drawing it upwards and as she did so, her hands raised above Hades, speckles of thawed ice raising with her. The wound began to close and as she opened her eyes and smiled and chuckled. “I did it!”

With a grunt Hades stood up with Neva’s aid. He looked down at her with love in his eyes and a smile to match. “Now...let’s do the same with this storm. I believe in you” He told her, running his hands down to grab her hands. “What if I’m not strong enough?” She asked, afraid she won’t undo all she did. “With my power you will be.” He reassured her, giving her hands a squeeze and a nod of his head towards the bridge all to say 'come on'. With a gulp and a sigh, she let go of his hands and stood in the middle of the Isle and looked out towards Auradon. She raised her hands high above her head to skies above and Hades did the same with his ember in his grasp.

They glanced at each other and with a nod they looked back to the skies and used their powers to thaw the winter. Every bit of ice and snow began to rise from the ground and buildings around them and all come together into a snowflake in the now blue skies. Just like her mother had done years before. Parting her arms away she dispersed the cold and came back the warmth to all of the Isle and Auradon. The two of them could hear cheers and screams coming from Auradon in celebration. “Told you you could do it!” Hades smirked giving her a wink causing Neva to blush.

“Neva!” She quickly looked back towards the bridge and she saw her Aunt Anna come running down the bridge. Grabbing her hand once more, Hades walked her to the bridge and stood with her. The barrier still up for her. “Aunt Anna?” She spoke. “Neva! Oh my god that was incredible!! Your mom was so proud!” Anna was gushing. She may be older but that young spunky attitude was most definitely still there.

“Where is she?” Neva questioned. “On her way. She don’t do the whole running like a reindeer thing as she calls it.” Anna told her, panting from being out of breath. Neva smiled and saw just behind Anna was indeed Elsa with the fairy godmother beside her. She tried to work out their body language but couldn’t. “Neva. You froze Hans, you brought an lasting winter stronger than anything your mother made....” Fairy Godmother began talking which made both Anna and Hades to cough to make her get to the point. “But you’ve proven yourself here today. You’ve proven that through love you can change any outcome. So, to keep my part of Auradon's deal with Elsa and Hades, I remove your barrier and welcome you back to where you belong.” She smiled, waving her wand and spouting her famous words 'bibbidi bobbidi boo!’ the barrier broke down. Hesitantly Neva stepped one foot forward, finding she could finally cross. Elsa instantly pulled Neva into her grasp. “oh Neva! I’ve dreamed about this day to hold you in my arms again!” Elsa cried.

Anna gave Hades a little fist nudge on his arm, which brought a straight disapproving bloom from him. So she quickly retracted her grin. “Mother...” was all Neva could say. Elsa pulled her back to really look at her and wiped her remaining tears from her face. She guided her back to Hades and placed their hands together. “Thank you Hades. For giving my daughter the love she so desperately needed to show her there’s more to having these powers than destruction.” Elsa complimented him.

Hades was about to respond when the cry of “DAD!!” broke the moment up and Mal came bounding down the bridge with nearly all of Auradon and the Isle behind her. Mal threw herself onto her father hugging him. “I saw everything!” she said to him, before pulling away to look at Neva. “I am SO sorry...and I’m glad you’re with my dad.” She told Neva, hugging her. Neva shocked, hugged her back after computing the action. “Thank you Mal.” She said, pulling away and looking at everyone, “thank you all.” She told them.

Belle and Beast walked through the crowds to stood in front of Neva. “Neva” they spoke formally. She looked at them both nervously. Then Belle smiled and embraced her. “Come home” she declared. Neva smiled and nodded, “I want nothing more” was all that needed to be said before Hades stepped up to hold her hand and they all went back to Auradon....together.

[missjackil]

SPN Did Something Pretty Amazing

One thing I have always liked about Supenatural, is that theyre willing to try things no other shows have done. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesnt, but theyre not affraid to think outside the box. Things like having a cross-over with Scooby Doo, or episodes like The French Mistake, or Fan Fiction, are great, though theyre doable only because of the premise of the show. In the supernatural world, nothing is impossible. The heros die and come back a lot, old characters come back in various ways, in dreams, time travel, or even as the same character, and this is ok because again, in the supernatural world nothing is impossible. However, this newest amazing thing, at its core, didnt come to pass because of supenatural influence, but because of human actions, and viewer acceptance.  Two brothers and their Angel buddy, adopt an adult orphan son.  Think about that. What show has ever done such a thing? None. In similar cases, like 3 Men and a Baby, Full House, Two and a half Men, there is one defined Father, and then the other men are uncles or support for the one father. But not on SPN, all 3 have been defined as this kid’s father, even though none of them are biologically his father. Even before Luficer died, we saw this beginning. And even stranger still, there were always strong efforts to keep Jack away from his biological father, which is also not a common practice. When dealing with an older child, theres always a “let them chose” clause. But thats never really been the case on SPN, it was always “Keep Lucifer away from this kid” and justifiably so, I might add, but its still strange for TV isnt it? Yet, somehow this all worked. Now, this isnt a debate on who deserves to be Jacks main father, which would obviously be Sam but to just talk about how the show managed to make this happen and be completely accepted by the viewers. 

I work with several SPN fans, though Im the only one who wouldnt really be considered a casual viewer, meaning Im the only obssessed one LOL but the others arent involved in SPN SM on tumblr or twitter, they dont go to conventions and none of them are into shipping. (thats right, it seems most casual viewers dont ship the characters) yet all of them think its cool that Sam, Dean and Cas are Jack’s fathers, none of them think its creepy, incestuous, or gay. One did joke that it sounded like the synopsis of a very bad porno, (2 brothers, and their buddy take in a young adult orphan as their own) but then said that its a very cool concept.  What I think made it work, is everything thats gone down in the last 13 years. I dont care if youre a wincest shipper or not, but theres no closer relationship on the show than Sam and Dean. We know now they are “stuck” with each other, they wont be finding a significant other and building their own family, and even in the end, they’ll be together. Be it on Earth, in Heaven, Hell or the Empty. Also, they have no closer companion than Cas. Whether or not you like the character, canonically, Cas is their best friend that they love as a brother.  Since the show revolves around family dynamics, good ones and bad ones, we’ve seen Sam and Dean in every position. As brothers, sons, cousins, friends, and even as husbands breifly to Lisa and Amelia. we never really got to see them as fathers. The show could have remedied this by having one of their ex girlfriends show up with a kid “Surprize!!” but Im glad they didnt. This would automatically put one brother in the position of Dad, and the other as Uncle and Cas is just that buddy in the trench coat. The way it was done, put all 3 men in a fatherly position that developed over different time lines and circumstances.  Im going to try to break this down in an unbias manner. We can all feel free to disagree with the outcome, but its how the show itself unfolded this little highly unorthodox family. Cas was the one appointed to be Jack’s father. Kelly gave this duty to him when she decided to allow herself to die to let her son be born, and Cas accepted. So it looked as though Cas would be this boy’s father, but as it was, Cas was dead when Jack was born.  Sam came to the plate next. His relationship developed organically with Jack. Some may not have seen it coming, but Sam was determined long before Jack was born, to NOT kill him, but to try to let him be born without the worry that he would be evil. When it was apparent they couldnt take his grace and make him human, Sam knew it didnt mean Jack HAD to be evil. Sam took the role as mentor right away. Caring for Jack and having genuine compassion for him. We were given the hint Sam felt fatherly when they showed him reading a parenting book. (my god that was the cutest thing) So the writers flipped the script and gave Sam a head start in the father field. Also, with Sam being first, it added this layer of beauty, because Sam fell in paternal love with the son of his torturer. He wasnt enlisted, or pushed, it just happened, and thats beautiful. Dean came last, and as a story teller, I can see why they chose this route. It had been established since S1 that Dean is good with kids and naturally paternal. To have him be the first “father” would leave Cas and Sam on unlevel ground through lack of experience. For Dean to follow up second from Cas, would make it too shippy, and Sam would probably never make it out from under the  “uncle” title. and wouldnt we always wonder if Sam held a little resentment inside? Jack being the son of Lucifer for starters, and Dean taking him in as a son? Over the seasons, Sam has made it very clear, he never wants to be #2 in Dean’s eyes, and this could bring around some bad brother drama.  Dean starts off hating Jack. Indeed he was way too nasty to him in the beginning. Not even gonna debate that, but for Sam, Dean gives the kid a shot. He discovers that yes, Jack is a good kid and now Deans natural paternal side clicks on. And keep in mind he didnt try to step onSam and take over. Yes they showed Dean and Jack bonding more than they did Sam, but he didnt take over. He made sure taking Jack out was ok with Sam, so did Cas. They both respected that Sam has been Jacks primary care giver since day 1, and Sam isnt selfish or possessive (over anyone/anything else besides Dean) so Sam is happy to share Jack so he can have as much positive influence as he can.  So I give TPTB credit for coming up with this formula, my only complaint being that they didnt need to make Dean as hateful as he was, they could have just made him hessitant and standoffish at first and that would have been enough but it is what it is, and that part is over thank Chuck. Now, most of us knew the “3 dads” thing was coming because the cast talked about it a lot, but those of us who dont follow the cons and interviews, still were pleasently surprised that this came about. I havent heard anyone complain that its creepy, even though if you tell someone whos never seen the show “On my show, the 2 brothers and their friend adopted an 18 yr old kid” they’d look at you funny.  We complain about the writers all the time because they do screw up a lot, but I like to give them credit when I can. This is one of those situations. They made something that seems creepy on the outside, not only acceptable, but wonderful, simply by how it was written. I feel the same way about how they handled the return of Mary. It didnt pan out as well as it could have, and thats really a whole other meta, but Im glad they didnt take an easy route with her making her a zombie, or Super Mom and put her in a really human position of a mother meeting her adult sons for the first time, but Ill save that for another post :)

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[divine-identite]

First, im going to chop this whole bullshit down into some neat appetizers for everyone.

“You know, I would’ve gladly had an adult conversation with you. I would’ve gladly sat here and talked about this whole thing like adults with you, but instead you went the petty route. That’s cool, my dude. You’re entitled to however it is you react and respond to my account. But you aren’t going to stop me from writing/portraying my character as she was made over ten years ago. Dude, it’s not even remotely that serious. A fictional character can look however the hell they want. I mean, let’s be real lmao The only reason I have my RL!FC is because of the shape of her eyes, the hair color, and eye color. I’ve tried to look for a mixed face claim but because I want a certain look, I can’t really find it. Is that my fault for making my character how she’s made? Of course it is. But at the same time, I’m not sitting here saying others shouldn’t do this or that. I literally stay in my lane and mind my own fucking business.”

 If you wanted to have an adult conversation, don't talk about it be about first of all, instead of being a dumbass and admitting your fucking fault here and just admitted you fucked up. I vagued you and sent you a message on your blog  - non-anonymous, you vagued me, and I grew a pair three-time its size and came at you. Don't pussyfoot about this you didn't have any way of leading this issue to a better resolution.

You try to pull the maturity card here. It’s not remotely serious but it isn't serious to you, you are just perpetuating the same shit on this site. A fictional character could look whatever they fuck, true, but the moment you involved realistic standards, race, ethnicity and categories in that equation than you’ve opened yourself up a whole new channel of standards and things to follow accordingly.  You’ve used modern standards and staples to shape your character - this is completely your fault at work here. You clearly did not think this through. No one in fucking FFXV has said that they were Japanese or anything, true the influence is there but never is outright - even one is either Lucis, Nif, Tenebraian or etc. Minding your own fucking business would be optional if you fucking could, let's be here you are a territorial bitch here; you become zealous and acting like it is ours, partners and face claims like you are entitled to this shit. 

How the fuck can you have a Japanese dad and white American mom, note American isn't a fucking race its a nationality. please don't get me started on that shit man. 

“You wanted to know why I did with Tenshi what I did: because I can. Because in the realm of fiction, I can have my character whichever way I’d like. I mean, shit.. purple hair isn’t natural. But that’s a canon character, right. I forgot that an OC isn’t canon.. even though, technically it is. It’s my canon. So if you don’t like it, dude just block me. You blocked me after reblogging my vent post anyway, so clearly you know how to do it in the first place. “

Right because purple isn't a natural hair, but Caius isn't Japanese or white, so he doesn't abide by any realistic standard of being an ff character. Even if did block you, which I forgot I did have you blocked, your still would still appear on here. So that much of a win I will give you nonetheless. 

I like how you had  to state “ This is why we stopped talking in the first place; I can’t get on that level of thinking, honestly ” like it was groundbreaking, just to show you how bad it was with the entire convo, worst part this isnt the first of it and the skype convos too:

11/20/2015

thyellae :I'm sorry. I know this is really random, but I feel like I may know you? 

infiniitas : possibly, timeless-encounter, timeless-encounters, xoblivium were my recent URLS.

thyellae  Aah.. then I do know you. I was once salutificator, or perhaps you knew me by foudrv.

thyellae I was keenly aware from the handwriting style and face claim, I know you generally. Generally? Hm.. I must've mistaken you for someone else, then. The person I'm thinking of.. I had quite the falling out with. In which I was hoping to discuss. Aah, well. My apologies for the mix-up. 

thyellae It's quite fine. Well, either way. It's a pleasure to speak to you regardless of the mix-up. My name is Taylor.

thyellaeClo it is, then. I won't lie---I fancy your Caius.Wonderful portrayal.

infiniitasThank you Taylor. I appreciate the comment.

thyellaeDon't mention it. Just thought I'd share some kindness in the wake of upcoming holidays.

infiniitasI take it you have been rping Lightning for quite some time?

thyellaeEver since the first bit of media leakage for FFXIII back in late 06. I didn't start to really get out there until late 07. But, I have. How could you tell?

infiniitasJust a hunch

thyellaeAah.infiniitasthat and i have read some of your work in the past

thyellaeOh?

infiniitasMhm

thyellaeAnd I'm only now being given the pleasure of becoming acquainted with you. Huh.

infiniitasIt appears so, but this time its mutual

.thyellaeThat it is.infiniitastell me who were you looking for?

thyellaeAah.. I can't really remember his name. Which, honestly, is awful. But I had a massive falling out with him. He and I were romantically invested, you could say? But turns out he was doing the same with another girl all the while. I lashed out and lost my cool. I could've handled it better.

infiniitasAh i understand

thyellaeYeah. But I guess it's not that big of a deal.

infiniitasOkay

thyellaeSorry to have bothered you with it. I guess they aren't really around anymore for me to apologize in the first place.

infiniitasIts quite fine no need to apologize.

thyellaeAnyway..How are you?

infiniitasI'm good getting to some rps and reading some.

thyellaeAah. Well, good.

infiniitasAnd yourself?

thyellaeKeeping myself busy with icons, so I can't complain.

infiniitasI take it you have a good number of them?

thyellaeVery many, haha.

infiniitasyour quite productive it seems.

thyellaeWell, I recently changed to borders for my icons. So I'm trying to be as quick as I can with updating them.

infiniitasIronic, i did that last month

thyellaeOh yeah?

infiniitasMhm

[fuckyeahexofics]

fic search #130

Looking for multiple fills for each!

1.  hi, do you know any fanfic that one of them has mysophobia? Any pairing (but chansoo and xiuhan lol) is fine. Thanks <3

Clandestine (Baekhyun/Chanyeol)

2.  Im looking for some exo drag queen fanfics. Not crossdressing but actual drag queen with the high heels, clothing, crazy makeup and hair.

Whole Lotta Glam (Sugar, Sweat, Spice.) (Kris/Minseok, Minseok/Chen, broken!Kris/Chanyeol)

3.  This is going to kill me, but what are some good fics where the ship grows old together? Any paring is fine and angst is okay too.

After Many A Winter (Chanyeol/Kyungsoo)

Together We Made 50 (Xiumin/Luhan)

4.  I'm deprived of Layhan these days, are there any new Layhan fics that haven't been reccommended here yet? I'd appreciate canon fluff or angst, but I'm not going to complain if you have smut or some au, thank you in advance ;--; <3

For the Sake of Spring 

5.  Are there any fics where a members finds out he's addopted ? Like, he's already a teenager ir a young adult and finds that secret.

6.  hi do know any fics where its like exo in produce 101. like during their tranie stages? 

Pick Me (OT10)

7.  hi mods! would you happen to have a chansoo fic/s that has chanyeol pining over kyungsoo? fluff/romance would be great, but any genre would be fine, as well. thank you! p.s. good job with maintaining this page!

Park Chanyeol is Straight (Chanyeol/Kyungsoo)

8.  Hello admins, this is probably a stupid question but... well I just watched wreck it ralph and I was wondering if you know about any fics that take place in a world made out of food/candy :D That sounds like fun

9.  hi, do you know any fic with soft and precious and whiney jongin, or the other person completely whipped or really love to dote on jongin?I've been been looking for this kind of fic but it's really hard, since most writer like to characterize jongin as an asshole :(

Write Me Into Your Fiction, Hyung (Kai/Kyungsoo)

Tastes Like Magic (Xiumin/Kai)

Drawn to You (Xiumin/Kai)

oh my god (Chen/Kai)

11.  hi do you know any miss peregrine au fics???? i've looked through the tags and everything but i couldn't find one :////10.  any fics where characters develop negatively? make mistakes/fck sht up, end up in a worser state than before ??

Fatum Rex (Luhan/Chen)

Perceptions of What’s Right, Wrong and What Really Is (Luhan/Chen)

Колыбельная (Chanyeol/Kyungsoo)

Peculiar Hope (Kyungsoo/Jongin)

thanks to J2STER, DOLLCETO, ANANOU59

[tumblunni]

How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!

[meru90]

(different anon) i think it's less the length of time and more the stage of development that's being pointed out as an issue, like how 18 y/o are already adults and 15 y/o still kids- its like a college student dating a highschool sophmore. and even assuming that they're both liking each other, that still puts them on uneven ground in terms of maturity that can lead to a power imbalance, even if its unintentional

im posting some ask like this cause damn this uncererly expanded and i was ready for bed ; v;; you are all thinking way too much into this…

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i think what they mean is that otabek is 18, which is technically an adult. and so otayuri is kinda iffy because in a relationship between a 15 y/o and a 18 y/o theres a bit of a power imbalance which can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Anonym schrieb an meru90: (not the same anon but these are the reasons i can think of for people not liking otayuri) i think its more that (at least in the us) 18 is legally the age when one is an adult… and maybe because 3 years isnt a big difference in the long run but during the teen years esp, 3 years means a big gap in like mental and emotional maturity cause puberty

Anonym schrieb an meru90: BUB I DONT GET IT EITHER they just hugging they ain’t doing anything illegal but peeps still get a lil cranky even tho in some countries (I think Russia as well I could be wrong) the age of consent is 15-16. Their ship is honestly just two high schoolers dating which last time I checked is pretty gosh dang normal, unfortunately some folks only see the age gap and automatically assume it’s illegal. ANYWAY IVE BEEN BABBLIN I LOVE YOUR ART AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING EVERYTHING YOU LOVE peace out✌️

Anonym schrieb an meru90:it’s a big deal because there is a HUGE amount of maturization that goes on from being 15 to 18. yurio has even said it himself, his body has not developed yet. 18 is a legal adult, 15 is not even old enough to drive.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Throwing my 2 cents, but I find it rather uncomfortable considering that Yurio is literally a child and also very child-like in his behavior, especially compared to the older characters who despite their quirks have an air of maturity about them, so when there’s people shipping him with Otabek & JJ and whoever else in romantic and sexual manners, regardless of whether it’s fiction or not, it’s still a child being sexualised by older people which I find kind of disturbing.

I just don’t ship otayuri (sexually) ATM because while it’s only three years, Obatek is a legal adult and someone around fifteen… Of course once they are both adults you will need to pry the ship out of my cold dead hands. Anyway, that’s my personal opinion, but of course you can have yours

I’m not a passionate shipper of otayuri but honestly I don’t think age is much of a problem. It’s not like once you turn 18 you suddenly become an adult. legally you may be an adult, but that’s just for legal purposes. a 3-year age gap is still a 3-year age gap. It’s reasonably small. outside the fictional world though, its wiser to follow laws. that’s just my opinion!! (And what does the anon who unfollowed you mean by genderbends? i’m confused by that?)

Anonym schrieb an meru90:GIRL ITS FICTIONAL THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT not to mention i bet half of these ppl complaining ship kiyoyachi and yakulev guess what they have basically the same age gap so shame on uuu!!! (btw love u and ur art)

I don’t mind a gap difference of 3 years,people are claiming that this is a matter of maturity are quite weird because you’re certainly not mature enough in only 3 years. Anyways, my problem with you is that you think that because you have your opinion people should respect yours. They shouldn’t Socrate died because people thought everyone should have their opinion,nut it’s not necessary a good thing. There is bad opinions ! They aren’t all good

Hey what’s good? I just wanted to say do you, I personally don’t agree with the shippings for similar reason to the anons but at the end of the day it’s just a ship.I’ve seen lots of age diff relationships and life and some have turned out insanely well and others not so well,it all depends on the compatibility of them. I ignore it because it doesnt bother me so much? there’s so much more immoral to worry about than a 15 and an 28 y/o getting into a relationship. Have fun and stay awesome

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I don’t like to add to the pointless discussion but the people who complain about otayuri age difference probably still ship 1st year and 3rd year high school students. Who have the exact same age difference!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:lol die fighten jetzt echt wegen otayuri? sind doch nur irwie 3 jahre unterschied nicht??? so unnötig. Im laughing my ass off here wtfff

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i can’t stand the underage discourse at all, i’ve had to abandon a number of fandoms since the atmosphere was intolerable, bloodhounds ready to destroy and kill you over your personal fictional preferences. jfc let people enjoy whatever they want ugh

Anonym schrieb an meru90:don't listen to that bs >.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:bruh, some people get so offended by the smallest things. Like if you don't like, don't look it's as simple as that! Don't let these people stop you from drawing Otayuri cause honestly the way you draw them is lovely!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I think people are blowing this a bit out of proportion.. peeps need to chill out

Anonym schrieb an meru90:honestly people are being way to mean to you about what you want to draw if they are ganna talk shit to you then they should come off anonymous. your art is good and you should continue to draw what you want and just block the people who have a problem with it cuz people who are technically 18 still date like 16 year olds and such its called high school it happens

Anonym schrieb an meru90:genderbend isnt transphobic... i dont understand why its so wrong to imagine a character being a opposite gender i think its absolutely ridiculous my own community give hate or talk as if it is. its art. personally i just imagine genderbend in the spectrum of being opposite gender cis wise, or trans, or non binary. its a word and damn people are triggered its so dumb i really cant deal with tumblr and I'm sorry you get bombarded with hate honestly people take things too seriously lmao

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Honestly, just ignore all these people sending rude messages. It's a testament to their character that they'd criticise you for doing nothing wrong. 15 and 18 year-olds date all the time, and there's nothing wrong with shipping characters in a platonic friendship. Both Yurio and Otabek have strong, mature personalities - there's nothing about them that indicates anything bad or abusive would happen. I love your YOI art, so draw whatever makes you happiest, regardless of people with little minds❤

Anonym schrieb an meru90:IT IS NOT LIKE MERU IS DRAWING SMUT OR ANYTHING SEXUAL FOR GODS SAKE PLZ LEAVE MERU ALONE THE AGE DIFDERENCE IS WAY SMALLER THAN THE ONE BETWEEN VITOR AMD YURI AND NOBODY SAYS OTAYURI GET TOGETHER BEFORE YURI IS AN ADULT STFU HONESTLY

[captain-fanattic]

All questions from the meme with Kotac

real talk i cant remember which meme this is from bc this ask is like months old but i remember it was one with 50 questions so im finding the first one i can in my tag and just answering those

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

kotac is his full name i never bothered to give him a last name. idk it just sounded cool

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

FARMER idk nothing special. he works. on a farm

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

YEAH his parents are real good to him and he’s very close with them and his family. his fave memories are doing stuff together as a family just out and around like going berry picking. idk about bad memories maybe one time he was attacked by an angry farm animal as a kid but that’s all i can think of

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

VERY GOOD he still has both parents and no real bad memories.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

i mean honestly probably but i havent created them so no

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he graduated high school and then kind of just stopped doing school. he enjoyed science but hated math and english

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

yeah! he’s good at making friends and he keeps in contact with a few.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

yes and yes bc he works on a farm and has animals on said farm

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

YES totally 100% animals love him it’s almost weird how much animals like him

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

he is okay with children but he wont actively seek them out or anything. he’d probably be a good parent but he’s not interested in kids rn. would have to adopt anyways

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

he eats vegetables a lot bc he’s part rabbit but he also eats a lot of meat bc of being part cat as well. he’s not really allergic to anything and loves to cook

12. What is their favourite food?

apple pie

13. What is their least favourite food?

idk he’s not picky so it’s kind of hard to find something he actually hates

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

he doesn’t eat out at restaurants very often but he does have a few memories of going out for special occasions with his family

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

YES YES he’s very good at it and loves it. others love it too

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

probably collects weird things like antique spoons

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

he’s not a really techy person but im sure he takes cute pictures of his animals sometimes

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes to read big novels it doesn’t really matter the genre he probably reads a lot of books about animals too. he loves country music and doesn’t watch T.V. very often; same w/ movies. doesn’t really play video games either.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

*shrugs*

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

yeah he likes musicals and music in general. he probably sings along to his favorite songs.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he is very paitent and rarely ever loses his temper.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

he probably has some extreme weird insults, i imagine he uses a lot of metaphors and whatever, immmmmmmm listening to music and it’s distracting me but i dont feel like pausing it and i cant think of the right word for it. idioms?? maybe. anyways he’ll tell someone to their face if he has a problem with them but he rarely ever does that since he is very tolerable.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

he’s good with memory for things about his farm and he’s good at remember faces but he’s not so good when it comes to names.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he goes to be late and gets up really early but for some reason it doesn’t bother him. he sleeps on his bed and its some weird mix of hard and soft. it’s not awful but most might find it uncomfortable.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

he’s got a good sense of humor and will joke around a lot with his farmhands. not sure what exactly his sense of humor qualifies as

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

he likes to hum and occasionally sing. he gets very smiley when he’s happy and excited

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

probably losing animals on his farm. like a fox gets one of his chickens or something and he’s probably heartbroken but also that fox is like his #1 enemy now so he’s angry at the same time. i guess THATS one way to make him mad. probably will cry openly but not often.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

he is afraid of losing people and animals he loves but that’s probably normal. he doesn’t really have any other fears. not even bugs or anything. he’ll straight up pick up a spider and go run around in the dark and everything. he’s hard to scare.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

he’s probably protective

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

yeah often, but it’s not like a gym work out. it’s working on the farm for hours and hours on end. keeps u in shape when u gotta take care of a million things in one day, every day

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

ya he will drink and he’s probably a very giggly and open drunk like he’ll talk more and get more cuddly. he’s very grumbly and sleepy when he’s hungover. he will absolutely take care of people who are hungover though.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

very country. jeans and ripped clothes and overalls and white t-shirts and all that jazz. probably just wears boxers to bed. he is all hair he is a furry. his the  white hair on his head is pretty unruly most of the time.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxers

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

muscular, strong, kind of a big build. he’s probably like idk 5′10″ or something. he likes his body but at the same time he does not really care at all

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

idk im bad at answering this type of question

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

good at idk growing food. cooking? cooking for hobbies too. maybe he doodles some in whatever spare time he has but he’s not really an artist or anything, like not even close. can sing.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

yeah he like to read. he’s like medium. enjoy poetry and probably reads fictional stories a lot but thinks non-fiction is also very good

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

work ethic and sense of humor. he also likes it when people are happy. um idk he’s pretty satisfied with what he can do already

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

letters > anything techy

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

drinks coffee a lot in the morning but always seems to be awake and alert no matter what. some people think it’s strange but he’s totally fine with it. being awake and alert always means farm work is done well

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

gay. doesn’t really have a preference. likes people that like animals idk he’s not picky and i don’t know how to answer this question

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

to have a good farm / would sacrifice for farm / wants farm to be popular with local people

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

mildly yeah

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

loves summer and spring! loves bright hot days and days with cool breezes, also loves light rain. dislikes snow bc…….farm

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

everyone generally loves him and he loves himself so yeah

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

probably but sometimes people catch him after he’s been working all day and he’s all dirty and tired and everything and thats probably not a very good first impression

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

doesn’t go to formal events often, doesn’t like the formal clothes, avoids it as much as he can

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

no not really. likes family events but not like crazy random parties. would probably just drink a lot if he got dragged to one

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

idk does his horse count? he loves his horse

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

um i never know how to answer questions like this