#THAT'S what you think about when you're in danger of death
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𝜗𝜚 Spooky Call.
Spencer Reid x Hotchner!reader
Summary: When your boyfriend gets a call from you, the last thing he expects to hear is that you're being held at a police station for decorating your house.
Words: 2,2k.
TW: fem!reader. mention of haley's death, jack, crime, murder, blood (fake). reader was arrested (obviously). implication that the reader is wearing jeans and shirt (not very descriptive). reader is hotch's sister. established relationship. spencer being the standard. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: This was the last fic of my october special, but I had problems and never posted it, so I had to change the plot a bit and here it is.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
You’ve always hated asking for help. It wasn’t just a matter of pride—it was the belief that you could, and should, handle everything yourself. Life, however, had a cruel way of reminding you that it didn’t always work like that. Everyone needs help sometimes. At least, that’s what people—well-meaning friends, family, even your boyfriend—kept telling you. We live in a society; there are people who love you; they’d want to help, they’d say. Blah, blah, blah. The sentiment was kind, sure, but it never stuck with you. Not really.
Today, though, maybe you should’ve listened.
All you wanted was to throw your nephew a belated Halloween party. It wasn’t like you were planning anything crazy. Just a few decorations, some music, and a bit of creativity—how hard could it be? Nothing about it seemed complicated or dangerous, not at first. You’d seen your brother overwhelmed trying to keep things normal for Jack, and you figured this was something you could handle on your own. Something small but meaningful.
Somehow, things got out of your control, and now you were sitting in your boyfriend's car in the police station parking lot trying to organize your thoughts to explain to him how you had ended up arrested in the first place.
“This has a perfectly reasonable and not at all criminal explanation. I swear.” You began to speak as you noticed by the watch on his wrist that three minutes of complete silence had already passed.
It had only been a year since you started dating officially, and there were still some things you were afraid Spencer would see, especially the things that got you in trouble for doing stupid things. You'd liked him for a long time, even before he realized you could be more than just his friend and his boss's sister. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin everything and make him run away in terror, even though that didn't sound very much like him or his values.
“This better be a good explanation,” Reid finally said, his voice calm but tinged with confusion. He placed the car keys down in the cupholder and turned to look at you fully. “Because right now, I’m struggling to understand how decorating your house could get you arrested.”
You squirmed in your seat, the knot in your stomach twisting tighter. “It’s…complicated,” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.
Please don't think I'm weird. Please don't think I'm weird. Please don't think I'm weird. That was the only thing that kept repeating in your mind.
“I’m sure it is,” he finally said, his tone dry but still patient, his gaze never wavering.
You exhaled sharply, dragging your hands down your face. “Okay. So, I started with simple decorations—some cobwebs, pumpkins, and all the usual stuff. But it just…it wasn’t enough. I wanted to do something big. Something really cool.”
He raised an eyebrow, silently urging you to continue.
“So, I got this idea,” you said, hesitating. You could already feel the heat rising in your face. “I took a garbage bag, stuffed it with paper to make it look like a body, and then—” You paused, your voice dropping slightly. “Then I added some fake blood. A lot of fake blood.”
His eyes widened, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was trying to hold back a laugh. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” you admitted, wincing. “But it looked amazing! For like…five minutes.” You gestured vaguely toward the dashboard, trying to find the words to defend yourself. “I might have spilled some of the fake blood on the lawn. And…it might’ve looked a little too real.”
Too real, extra real.
“A little?” Spencer asked, incredulous. “You mean realistic enough to make the neighbors call the cops?”
You winced, expecting him to think you were ridiculous—or worse, stupid. But then, to your surprise, his lips quirked into a soft laugh.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me!” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest when you saw the faintest smirk tugging at his lips.
Yeah, maybe you didn't want him to think you were weird, but you didn't like being laughed at either.
“I’m not laughing,” he said, though the hint of amusement in his voice betrayed him.
“You are absolutely laughing,” you huffed, your pout deepening. “It’s not funny, Spencer.”
He took a deep breath, finally managing to suppress his laughter—mostly. His hand reached out to tilt your chin up gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. The warmth in his hazel eyes softened the sting of your embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, though his lips still twitched with the ghost of a smile. “I really am, angel. But you have to admit, you went a little overboard with the ‘terrifying’ concept.”
And there it was, the kind of sweetness that had made you fall for him so hard. The kind you'd expect to receive without question after spending at least half an hour locked in a filthy cell.
You sighed, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. “Okay, maybe. But in my head, it wasn’t that bad,” you said weakly. “It just…went a little wrong.”
“A little?” he repeated, his eyebrows raising again. “You got arrested. You scared half the neighborhood into thinking they’d stumbled onto a crime scene.”
“At least it wasn’t illegal!” You shot back, crossing your arms defensively. “I didn’t actually hurt anyone. I just made a mess. With fake blood.”
Spencer’s gaze dropped to your hands, where smears of red clung stubbornly to your skin. His eyes flicked to your clothes—your jeans, your shirt, both stained with dried streaks of crimson. A slow grin spread across his face.
“It wasn’t illegal, but now you look like you walked off the set of a slasher movie,” he said, his voice filled with teasing affection. “Here—and here.” He gestured to a streak of red on your shoulder, then another on your cheek.
You were about to protest when he suddenly leaned in. His face was so close now, his breath warm against your skin. Before you could say another word, his lips brushed softly against yours—a brief, gentle kiss that caught you off guard. You froze for a moment, your heart skipping a beat. Then, as if it had all been a slow, perfect dance, you melted into him. His lips were warm and tender, the kiss slow and sweet, like a quiet promise that everything, even in the chaos of your night, was going to be okay.
When he pulled back, your breath caught, your chest fluttering in that way only he could make you feel. His grin was wide, playful, but there was something else in his eyes—a depth, a tenderness that made your heart thud. You blinked up at him, still dazed from the warmth of his kiss.
“For the record,” he murmured, his voice soft, his lips still dangerously close to yours, “I never thought you were a criminal. Just a little…overly enthusiastic.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, a genuine, warm sound bubbling out of you. “Overly enthusiastic,” you echoed, shaking your head. “That’s one way to put it.”
“And messy,” he added, his eyes twinkling as they lingered on the fake blood smeared across your face.
“Don’t push your luck, Dr. Reid,” you warned, though the smile on your face betrayed you.
Spencer chuckled softly, the sound melting into the quiet of the car. He leaned in then, his lips brushing against your forehead in a gentle, lingering kiss that felt like a promise—quiet, tender, and full of unspoken reassurance. The warmth of his touch seeped into you, and you closed your eyes for a brief moment, savoring the comfort of his presence.
As he pulled back, he studied you with that signature look—the one that always made you feel like he could see straight into your soul. His brow furrowed slightly, and you recognized that expression well: the one he wore when he was about to ask something important, when he wanted to understand you better. It was a look that never failed to make your heart flutter, even if it made you feel vulnerable.
“Okay,” he said slowly, his tone gentler now. “I get wanting to make the decorations amazing, but why was it so important? Why go all out to the point of, well…” He gestured vaguely toward you, his lips twitching again. “Fake crime scene levels of effort?”
You hesitated, his question hitting you like a wave. You knew the answer, but speaking it aloud felt heavier than you had anticipated. It was as though the words themselves had a weight you hadn’t been prepared to carry. You lowered your gaze, absently picking at the hem of your shirt as you fought to find the right words, your mind tangled in emotions that were hard to articulate.
Reid didn’t push, though. His silence was patient, waiting for you to open up at your own pace. It was one of the things you adored about him—the way he didn’t rush, didn’t demand. He just let you be, trusting you would share when you were ready.
Finally, you exhaled a shaky breath and met his eyes, the vulnerability in your voice clear as you spoke. “It’s not just about the decorations,” you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s about Jack.”
His expression shifted immediately, his eyes softening with understanding but remaining focused as you continued.
“I just…” You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “I want to be the perfect aunt for him, you know? Someone who makes things better, even if just for a little while. He’s been through so much—losing Hayley, seeing my brother juggle everything just to make sure Jack’s okay…” Your voice wavered, and you clenched your hands to steady yourself. “He’s only a kid. He deserves to feel happy and safe and…loved.”
Maybe that last word was too personal, and maybe your boyfriend noticed.
He reached out, his fingers brushing against yours in a silent offer of comfort. You took his hand, the warmth of his touch grounding you enough to keep going.
“I know I can’t replace his mom, and I’d never try to,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I thought maybe, just maybe, if I did this party right—if I made it something really special—it could be a distraction. Something fun. Something he could look back on and smile about instead of just…” You trailed off, biting your lip as the words lodged in your throat.
He squeezed your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing rhythm. “Instead of just remembering what he’s lost,” he finished for you, his voice soft and understanding.
You nodded, blinking back the sting of tears. “Yeah.”
The car was quiet for a moment, the weight of your confession settling between you. Then Spencer shifted closer, his free hand reaching up to brush a stray tear from your cheek. The tenderness in his touch made your chest ache in a way that was both painful and comforting.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” he said gently, his voice steady and sure. “You’re already doing more for him than you realize. Just by being there, by loving him the way you do…that’s what matters. Not decorations or parties or anything else.”
His words hit you squarely in the heart, and you let out a shaky laugh, the tension in your chest loosening just a fraction. “I just wanted it to be perfect,” you admitted, leaning into his touch. “I didn’t want to mess it up and end up in a cell.”
Reid smiled softly, his fingers brushing lightly against your jaw as he held your gaze. “You didn’t mess it up,” he said firmly. “Okay, maybe the decorations were a little unconventional,” he added with a playful glint in his eye. “But your heart was in the right place. And Jack knows that. He loves you and thinks you’re wonderful, just like I do.”
You felt your breath catch at his words, the warmth in his eyes making your cheeks flush despite everything. “You’ve really become good at this, you know,” you said quietly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “The whole comforting and making me blushing thing.”
He let out a soft chuckle, giving your cheek a gentle tap with his thumb before pulling back slightly. “I might have read eleven books to brush up on a few things and be better,” he said, his tone light but not dismissive.
You chuckled, the sound lifting the tension that had been pulling at your chest. “Eleven books? You really went all in on this, huh?”
His arm slipped around your shoulders, drawing you closer, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against you grounding and reassuring. “When it’s you,” he said softly, “I’d go even further than that.”
You leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling the weight of the world ease off your shoulders. A quiet thought lingered in your mind, one you hadn’t been able to put into words until now. “But…sometimes, don’t you think I’m weird?” you asked, the vulnerability creeping in despite yourself.
Please say no.
“Weird? No,” he murmured, his breath warm against your hair. “I think you’re perfect.” He paused for a moment, then added with a soft laugh, “And every day, I’m grateful you don’t think I’m weird either.”
You smiled, the knot in your chest loosening, the weight of uncertainty fading as his words settled in. “Guess we both can be a little weird then,” you said, the truth of it comforting you more than you expected.
He chuckled, the sound easy and light, as he pulled you a little closer, holding you in a way that spoke of quiet promises. “It’s perfect for me.”
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#moontober <3#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!readr#spencer reid x fanfiction#matthew gray gubler
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 3
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4])
when I first watched this I reallllllly hoped sharon was about to come back. but she wouldn't have ever called herself mrs. hart, that was an obvious giveaway
I know I'm repeating myself but - THIS MOTHERFUCKER
aw of course alice is immediately protective. that's so hot of her.
rio you'll have to stop being delighted at her antics, you're only enabling her at this point
agatha you fucker. and kudos for the excellent debra jo rupp impression, kathryn.
it's sweet and so sad that lilia fell for it. she consistently loses her seer abilities when dealing with the guilt for the people she couldn't save
jen is so done
rio is dismissive but also soft when she says this. and then she raises her eyebrows at agatha, as if dating her to deny it.
you can literally see her mask falling off.
billy shakes his head, disappointed. this is the first time he sees agatha fall so low
rio is like, come back here and face the music, my darling. she's really not letting her off the hook anymore
rio laughing in delight when death is mentioned, like yes! that's me! I'm here! just happy to be included!
agatha's panic is so overwhelming she's already at the point when she bolts. but there's no running this time. billy, like wanda, is merciless.
screaming so awful that lilia jumps back to episode 2 to escape it. meanwhile, rio.
(is jen wearing bunny slippers lolll)
yes, yes, it's hilarious that she had to spit out her retainer. but dear god evanora getting to jen first because she's the one agatha hurt the most.
now rio is casually modeling. she's making a great show of not caring about what agatha is going through
her coven turning her back on her. again.
sorry for always pointing out what rio is doing, but aubrey is killing me. now she's going oh well! you heard what the lady said! looks like I'm not the only one who thinks you're a piece of shit!
and despite it all rio (who, once again, is not allowed to kill a fly) is not doing what everybody else is doing. she's just being butthurt at agatha
the essays I could write about agatha's internalized misogyny
oh billy, no. you didn't ever realize all the shit you were stirring.
wow this particular line coming from jen really hurts
rio is trying to decide if she's into zombie agatha, lol. it's like she's always in a different show than everybody else. or rather, she's transcending genres, she's always doing her own thing because the Road doesn't affect her. while the others see real danger, she sees painted sets she can cut through with her knife.
but look what happens next. rio suddenly turns serious, and there's even a hint of panic in her voice. it's as if she realized this is not all tricks and smoke.
and finally, she fully comprehends how dangerous billy is. like, the staggering scale of it. chaos magic creates life in an artificial way that goes against everything rio stands for. wanda did not create an illusion of Vision, she made a real, alive vision out of thin air. billy himself was created the same way. and now he has effectively brought back evanora - not a pale imitation, a ghost Evanora functionally indistinguishable from the real thing, just as full of hatred and just as capable of hurting agatha. if it wasn't personal before!
you know, I didn't like this episode as much as the others on first watch, but I was wrong. there is a lot to unpack here. like many things on AAA, it's all in the subtleties.
go to episode 5 part 4
#agatha all along#agatha deep dive#agatha harkness#rio vidal#jennifer kale#billy maximoff#alice wu gulliver#lilia calderu#character study
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Major veilguard endgame spoilers under the cut!!! I'm chewing on angst like a dog with a bone
The angsty narrative appeal of choosing Harding to lead the scouting mission and Neve to deactivate the wards (especially if Neve followed you into greater danger at the start).
Because you started this with you and Harding and Varric. You three together for the better part of a year. And you build friendships fast when you're together 24/7.
And then you find Neve, and you don't know her, but your teammates do and she kills venatori and she slots right into the team and she's every bit as committed to stopping Solas as the rest of you.
And you get to the ritual. And Varric goes to talk to Solas, leaving you in charge because you're his second in command and you get shit done. And he leaves you with one final order - "Take care of the team for me."
And Neve points out the potential danger in disrupting the ritual, but she follows you, commits to this, and -
Well, it all goes a bit tits up. You can admit that. Things get dire, you've lost sight of Neve and Varric's bleeding, but Harding pulls through, gets you and Varric and Neve to safety, and you're really in charge now, because Varric's beat to shit, but it's fine. You've got this.
And then Harding picks up a magic dagger and before you know she's falling into the abyss as you scream her name, unable to do anything, and then-
She's back. She's okay. And it's not even like a miracle, it straight-up is a miracle, because what else are you going to call a dwarf escaping certain death and getting magic powers?
So it's okay. This thing with Harding is weird, but she's okay, and you'll figure it out. And Neve's been beaten black and blue but she'll walk it off. And Varric's barely able to get out of bed but he's still giving you advice and nagging you to take naps, so it's okay.
And then the gods move the goddamn sun and you're really down to the wire now and you turn to Harding, because she's like you, she gets shit done, and you have her lead your second team because you know she can. She got you and Neve and Varric to safety and she's got this.
And when you run into wards meant to stop you, you instruct Neve to bring them down, because you know she can, because she followed you into that chaotic mess of magic and helped you drop a statue on a god and walked off all those injuries she got out of it and she's got this.
And then - Neve's gone. Just like that. Right out from under you.
But it's okay. You've got this. You've survived everything they've thrown at you this far and you'll get her back.
And then things are dire, people are injured, you're losing, but Harding pulls through. Just like you knew she would, just like she always does. And then she's falling, you're screaming her name, unable to do anything, and then -
And then nothing. She's gone. One miracle per customer, you guess.
And then Varric's gone. Varric's always been gone, and you're the last to know. And you realize Neve and Harding, they followed you not only because you were Varric's second in command, but because you recovered from his death the fastest.
Only you didn't. They followed you for your confidence and it was built on a lie. And now they're gone. Just like Varric.
But you get shit done, you get out, you hunt yourself a god, and you find Neve, still alive, but-
But this isn't a miracle. This isn't bruises she'll walk off. This is death coming for her, this is borrowed time.
So the original Veilguard, the Veilguard Varric lived to see, chose himself, two are gone and one is blighted and you're standing in the wreckage of your victory and you did it, you got shit done, but you can't help thinking about that last order, the last real words Varric ever said to you -
Take care of the team for me.
Mission Failed.
#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#da: the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#veilguard#i love this brand of angst specifically im tearing it apart with my teeth
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Making A Plan: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
Summary: The gang is making a plan to take the book back, and Ivan notices something a little strange.
"A massacre?", asked Delroy.
The gang was just walking home from school, and Maritza decided it was finally the right time to tell her friends about the cult and the amusement park.
"Probably a massacre, but we can't say for sure unless we know they're planning to kill.", replied Enzo. "And another thing for certain is that Peterson's book has something to do with their plans."
Ivan looked at Enzo, completely confused. "That book was just filled with a bunch of mumbo jumbo, crow drawings and suspects of who Crowface could be? What could they possibly want with that?"
Maritza shrugged. "I don't know. They just told me they needed the book and the plans to the amusement park, but they didn't tell me what for."
"But who's going to get the book back?", asked Ivan. "Are we going together, or is one of us going?"
Maritza looked down at her shoes, "Well...", she started. "I think since I'm the one who gave it to them, maybe I should be the one to get it back."
Enzo immediately shook his head, "Absolutely not. I don't want those freaks to hurt you if you get caught.", he said. "We're going together."
Just then, Ivan bumped into someone and stumbled backwards. He looked up to see that it was Mrs. Roth.
He nervously giggled, "Many apologies, Mrs. Roth.", he said.
"Oh it's fine, Ivan.", she said.
The kids noticed she was carrying a couple of grocery bags.
"What's all that for?", asked Delroy.
"Nothing much. I was just getting a couple of things for next month when Nicky comes home.", said the woman. She was about to walk away, but then she noticed that Maritza was holding a familiar flier.
She pointed to it. "What's that?", she asked.
Maritza held up the flier, and Mrs. Roth's eyes widened in surprise.
"Wow, no way. I heard that place was reopening.", she said.
"Yeah, you're not the only one, ma'am.", said Delroy. "Everyone in Raven Brooks knows about the reopening of the park."
Mrs. Roth smiled, "It's funny, because I was planning to take Nicky there."
The kids looked up at Mrs. Roth, completely shocked. "W-What?", asked Enzo.
"I was planning a nice family outing at the amusement park to celebrate Nicky's recovery.", said the woman.
Maritza shook her head so fast. "No! Don't do that! That's where the cult meets."
Mrs. Roth turned pale for some reason. "Cult?"
"There's a group of people dressed like crows, and they're planning to use the Golden Apple Amusement Park to start a massacre. It's the same thing they did with Lucy, they sabotaged the ride to cause her death, and they're gonna do the same again!"
Mrs. Roth was a little shocked by Maritza's sudden outburst, and her eyes widened a little more, but she took a breath and her face returned to her normal color.
"You kids and your wild imaginations.", she said. She turned around and began walking away, "It almost kills me."
As she walked away, Ivan couldn't help but notice a black feather sticking out of the sleeve of her jacket. But he pushed it aside and turned back to his friends.
"Nicky's gonna die.", said Delroy.
Enzo put his hands on Maritza's shoulders, trying to calm her down as she grit her teeth and clenched her fists in anger. "We have to warn Nicky. Because right now, as far as we know, he's in more danger than all of us."
The gang nodded and immediately ran down the street.
#hello neighbor#welcome to raven brooks#luanne roth#enzo esposito#maritza esposito#ivan#delroy#my fics#hello neighbor fanfic
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No but Okay Yes so Uh - scattered thoughts... throwing at the wall, seeing what sticks:
+ Mass Murderer Cousin. Violent Death Eater Aunt. Black family name is in ruins. She isn't a 'Black' - but she's the next best thing fresh out of the war.
+ FRESH out the war - basically her entire life has been spent with news of the Dark Mark appearing over houses where Death Eaters had murdered whole families, where Blood Traitors like them had to hide, where her own family was being sent to Azkaban...
+ Wizarding Society is FUCKED about being different. It doesn't take much to be regarded as 'half-breed' or 'dangerous' when you're not.
+ Metamorphmagi seem reasonably respected - then again, we mainly see Tonks around the Order, who are extremely welcoming - but I doubt that matters much when your family is full of murderers.
+ We know how kids act - they act on their siblings/parents' worries without much awareness. Did the war end with Voldemort's fall? Not to the kids - anyone they don't like will be 'A Death Eater'.
+ Harry was bullied for losing house points and talking to snakes, Albus was bullied for his father 'getting revenge' on Muggle kids...
+ But I can't see her being low on the social ladder for long. She's too fucking cool and likeable. But at first? All it takes is an older kid pointing her out as 'basically a Black' in a negative light.
+ Tonks chuckled. 'Bet you wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes, eh?' Her eyes found the lightning-shaped scar on Harrys forehead. (OotP ch3) - oh, she gets it. Assumptions following you.
+ She got along well with Moody, whom people are typically scared of, don't understand and think is a freak - based on scars. AND Remus, based on Lycanthropy. Being different.
So she is at school. She has all this family baggage - and she is physically/magically different from everyone else. We know how people standing out at Hogwarts can be treated. How does she deal with it...?
+ Her parents were already rebels. They grew up being potential targets for Death Eaters. She is used to being unfairly targeted, but sticking to what you believe in anyway. Not giving in to bullies.
+ Tonks as an adult is clumsy and likes to make people laugh, likes to make people feel included, finds understanding people easy...
+ ...but she is also capable and serious enough to please Moody.
+ To me that screams 'bully buster'. Like of course she became an Auror - she was sorta already one at school. James/Sirius without being a bully herself. She cheered people up, supported the weak, confronted assholes to demand fairness... typical Hufflepuff shit
+ But did anyone support her? Did anyone really understand her? Or was 'giving' her form of self-protection? I'm thinking this because she REALLY connected with Remus, even though she has to fight for him, who is specifically good at comforting and supporting...
thinking about how awful Tonks’ first year at school must’ve been. she started in 1984, only a few years after her cousin was sentenced to life in Azkaban for allegedly murdering 13 people and being a DE, and her Aunt famously tortured two people into insanity & was a DE. i can’t imagine people were too kind to her
#hp#nymphadora tonks#just big big thinking#this isn't very well done hmmm i just wanted to get my thoughts out#mywrite#as in ill like... look at this later
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@thirteenmyspacegirl
I have no idea hahahahahahaha help
#physically yes im fine I didn't swallow water or anything#and I didn't *almost die* or anything#it wasn't that dramatic#i said under danger of death because it was a danger of death area 💀 that I didn't check the flag before entering 💀#so when it clocked some MINUTES in which I was trying to swim back with all my force and I didn't get closer to the sand-#well I was like that sucks hard everyone in the beach will think im pathetic if I drown rn#and then I was like oh god this is so embarrassing#and then I tried to shout to the shore for someone to call help but my voice didn't move a meter in front of me#and I couldn't see anyone coming or hear anything because of the waves#so I was like that sucks even harder my muscles are getting sore now and I'll just float into oblivion and nobody will notice#and then when they notice they'll be like oh god that kid's so stupid they fuckin died#and it'd be sooooo embarrassing#i mean can you imagine if they had to use the lifeguard boat to get me out of the big puddle?#the h e l i c o p t e r ??? it'd be pathetic!!#i wouldn't die drowning I'd die of embarrassment!!#13 is sooooo real for that quote about dying being embarrassing#THAT'S what you think about when you're in danger of death#of course you also think wow if nobody comes here to help me I will die because I can't swim back and im helpless#and I am so young and they're all seeing me dying right now but they can't get here to help me#we'll die simultaneously and I'll be the one with the lungs full of water in the end#so that sucks#and then after the THREE (3) lifeguards managed to get me out of the wet place EVERYONE kept repeating the same thing to me#''OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU SCARED US YOU SHOULDN'T GO THERE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THERE AGAIN#BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH'' like I KNOW!!!!! don't you think I've thought about all the ways to scold me while I was about to die??#so I just tried to play it off as okay and fine and haha I won't do that again don't worry don't worry haha but man#I am just a little bit shaken with this ???? like#i didn't almost die#i didn't!!#i was physically safe the entire time even though I was floating into the ocean#so this shit should TRAUMATIZE me
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Let him call, because again, Agasa was the one who set up this secret, he should be the one defending it. Again, the parent shows up out of the blue here, but I kinda wish they didn't. Because Shinichi's the protagonist, he has to deal with everything in the end, but I want Agasa to be confronted. Have him make up more lies. Bring in the parents slower, have them contact Kogoro to arrange for Conan to stay long term and work out payment. Ran asks about the parents and Kogoro is like 'oh it's fine, they're covering his stay', and Conan's going '...? ???????'. Agasa denies having anything to do with it on Yuusaku's orders. Conan frets about it for a while and they actually see how he'd react to potential unknown danger. And then spring the 'kidnap him' trap to fully show him what could possibly happen.
But I guess just 'kidnap him and potentially give him a heart attack to prove that death is a real possibility' without any setup or warning is fine, too, sure.
#ch 49#vol 5#I actually don't mind the kidnapping as much as many other people#But now I've made a more fleshed out scenario in my head that I'm sad isn't how this goes#But mostly I just want more acknowledgement that Shinichi never set up any of the identity drama#Agasa made up the story; he's the one who put secrecy in Shinichi's mind; and if there's any poking at the story; Agasa should be defending#Instead he just sits at home not having to deal with anything except occasional vents from Shinichi#And I guess fiddle with gadgets that might help#But really he was just 'oh you shrunk; well that sucks but no you're not staying with me; go with Ran'#Like; I know he justifies it with Ran's dad running an actual detective agency and thus can potentially get criminal info#But lbr; both of them knew that Kogoro wasn't going to get anything useful from where he was at the time#And even if he told Shinichi to increase Kogoro's reputation; there wasn't any planning on how to make that happen#Which almost got Shinichi killed /immediately/ after getting shoved onto Ran#Agasa doesn't even know about that near-death experience; and it would 100% be his fault tbh#Many times Shinichi was going to die would be because of Agasa insisting on secrecy and giving Shinichi the responsibility-#Wait; no; hold on; he might have not actually been trying to help Shinichi hunt for the org#He might have just shoved him into a place he was relatively certain would be safe#And told Shinichi he could just make Kogoro famous if he wanted to put the detective in a position to get info#/But he wasn't actually supposed to be able to do it - Shinichi wasn't supposed to succeed at doing that/#He was sent into hiding with a former cop; Agasa probably didn't realize he'd actually be in the fringes of BO activity#Or that Shinichi is just /that/ reckless when it came to crime solving#It was supposed to be a placebo while he and probably the parents tried to think about what to do#But Shinichi not only gets very close brushes with death on a regular basis#He can't even keep up the kid act with Ran and needs help#Agasa took his eyes off the teen child for two seconds and found that he started a bonfire of danger somehow#(Look at that; yes; I /can/ think myself in many circles to make almost anything justified)
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why isgrian shipping the warden and the wither
#?#serena.txt#infizero.live#slsmp spoilers#also grian reeling from jimmys death only to shriek mumbo's name when he dies immediately after and saying ''this wasnt the plan!!''#do i even need to say my whole spiel at this point#so funny to me how grian has multiple times done a thing where hes accidentally caused violence/death for ppl he likes#in the middle of INTENTIONALLY causing violence/death for others#like him killing ren only to realize afterward he'd inadvertently killed big b as well. i dont know#something about him cackling and laughing at scar being chased by the wither#only for him to be all shocked by mumbo dying to the warden. i feel like he had two very different responses there.#if you're someone who takes every opportunity he can get to hurt people. is it any wonder you keep ''accidentally'' hurting#those around you as well?#that girl is dangerous to be around. thats all im saying#we all know this but like friend or foe being with grian is not going to end well for you its just not#now idk if this really counts for widows curse. its tricky this season#etho and cleo are grian's teammates but are they really who hes CLOSEST to? idk.#for me i'd say i don't think either of mumbo's deaths count as like The Death that would continue the tradition#i think it'd have to be etho or cleo for me to count it. but mumbo's deaths definitely fall in line with this same pattern of#people close to grian dying due in some part to him#and hey if etho and cleo dont end up having a death that fits the bill then you KNOW i will actually be taking mumbo's as the one#this is all about my silly little ideas and what suits them best
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If I had a nickel for every time I had to watch "I can't believe they're doing this!! This is heinous, who could have seen this coming?! <thing a minority group repeatedly and explicitly said would happen if x other thing went unchallenged>" I could afford to live somewhere with fewer human rights violations
#m/cc#negative#'transition and abortion restrictions I understand but criminalizing transition and overturning Roe v Wade?!'#'and NOW talking about overturning gay marriage?! and interracial marriage??'#woah maybe if you'd listened to the trans people who said heavy transition restrictions were setting a dangerous precedent on#bodily autonomy and LGBTQ rights you could've maybe made a plan for what to do if these things were proposed#this is also specifically about everyone shocked and horrified that medically assisted death is being pushed on people with depression#WE TOLD YOU THIS. WE TOLD YOU EVERY TIME THAT IT WON'T BE USED ALL IN GOOD FAITH#DISABLED PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR DECADES. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING#THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS when you ignore disabled people's warnings about eugenics because you're not disabled#EVENTUALLY IT WILL EFFECT YOU#and you will be shocked every time!!#eugenics will not stop at the smaller subgroup you aren't part of. it's the testing ground for tolerance#you think they're really like 'oh trans people are gross but gay people are a-ok' or 'the person who's terminally ill deserves to die (!!)#but certainly not the person with painful cancer treatment#or permanent disability#or chronic illness#or serious long term mental health problems#or intellectual or cognitive disability#those people OBVIOUSLY can find quality of life still. it's ONLY these specific people that should be offered death as a solution'#I'm just exhausted. I feel like my voice is hoarse from screaming about this. conservatives do not see a difference between#killing a future baby via 'sterilizing' HRT or surgery and abortion or birth control#or gay people vs trans people as a risk to children#ableists see 'no possible quality of life' in both constant unbearable physical agony without ease and in treatment resistant depression#no difference between the prototypical Right to Die patient and someone who can absolutely have high quality of life#and with the last one any US people who didn't see this coming have never dealt with the US healthcare system long-term#when I took my medical and healthcare ethics course I was So uncomfortable because it was. so clearly written by someone not a part of it#'hospitals would never WANT someone to use euthanasia.' I can think of five reasons off the top of my head for why they would#politics#current events
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my parents are the poster children for things that can be fine but are STRONGLY discouraged in those parent classes. we all slept in the same bed. I was a home birth (midwife was supposed to come but never showed up). we just wandered around outside when we were young. like, adults were around but. ehh. we also did rock scrambling when we were like 5 and nobody ever got hurt but telling our city-born aunt that she looked like she she was about to faint. but like we were FINE it's just about being careful
#the amount of horrified looks I've gotten when I've mentioned those things. well WE survived#my uncle was FREAKING out when my cousin came to do it but she was 10 yrs old she was fine#its all about what risk you're aware of and what you'd accept ig#I don't think that rock scramble is risky at all but I also know it really well and have been doing it my whole life#I wouldn't send someone up there alone esp not a young kid#as for the cosleeping argument...much to consider#home births can be very controversial depending on who you ask and they CAN be really dangerous for ppl#with already known or suspected conditions. but they can also just be dangerous period. like I have a serious heart condition#and it's sheer luck I didn't need surgery until 4 days or so out of the womb#plus I almost died due to an unrelated issue because my grandma couldn't open a package fast enough#like usually partners and grandparents are not trained professionals and you don't have the equipment or supplies you need if anything#goes wrong. and it might not. people have been delivering babies for thousands of years. but it might.#childbirth has been a leading cause of death historically. and newborns are SO fragile. sometimes babies die and nobody really knows why#neurological conditions cardiac conditions respiratory conditions. there's so much that can go wrong.#ik they're looking at genetic causes for SIDS but the research doesn't seem to be conclusive#anyway. there is no life free of risk#cor.txt
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-sits- man have I been sitting all night daydreaming about sticks (Rupert), like sticks (Rupert) everywhere and sticks (Rupert) anywhere, but y'know sticks (Rupert) are good
(Rupert) let me draw the art i wanna make, please.
#4am thoughts were i came to a conclusion. Rupert Price is such a character#i mean i love him as I love Burt and oh god I've been just thinking about him#like Rupert here and there#he became my comfort character#Still thinking abt his interactions with other sticks#i love thinking abt how his personality and everything can change or have changed. -#Man why are you so 24/7 angry#boy chill pls. Ough i really love sitting and analyzing all expressions and lines of same character#how the fuck i got so invested into sticks lore -sits and dies#ughhhhhh i love Rupert so muchhhhh i crave more content abt him like ughhhh#i need to see more hcs wah#cuz i did really put such a time into developing his relationship with Dave and Johnny. like boi he couldnt go on Johnny's death#like you think abt this man who was practically your mentor at policeschool#like i hc Johnny taught Rupert everything#and was also his main reason to join the gov#but also what abt Dave#dave who is a crybaby and Rupert became his only interaction with other ppl until he fucked up#like god#i like the ships but i also like that kind of romance where things never get to pass completely rhe platonic phase#when one side lives in fucking fantasy while the other on reality#but this one that is in reality also lives on fantasy but one that has already been buried#like if you get it you get it#I love adding such type of angst to characters#rupert whats going on in that furious head of yours#dave whats going on in that anxious crybaby head of yours#Johnny.... you're dead right i forgor#and burt is just another sweet candy to the story like ough#i like thinking about him taking care of Dave and not pushin any confidence like giving time for Dave to see Burt is no danger#burt can be so cold yet so caring and warmth#oh god been talking with Saisk abt it like Burt would never acept having prisoners in the clan because it is human(stick?) cruelty
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Living downtown in a major city is like, "Were those 3 rapid shots fireworks (in February??) or gunshots?"
Very similar to living in buttfuck nowhere, except here it's almost certain that gunshots mean a person is dead, whereas in the sticks it means someone got tired of their dog barking at a raccoon or opossum and fired 3 shots into the woods.
#it's past midnight and there was what I'm pretty certain is gunfire maybe a few blocks away#I'm not in any danger. no one could possibly shoot me from the street or anything.#it's just kinda concerning to think that someone just got shot or shot at#reminder to not walk around after dark i guess#but i also wonder if the person being shot at deserved it or if it was unwarranted violence#like. if someone's breaking into your house you gotta do what you gotta do#but I'm pretty sure most of the violence out here is committed by people doing other crimes.#break into a car then shoot the owner when they try to stop you kinda deal#gunshots in the country don't even register unless you're in the woods and they're close by tbh#there was a big deer hunting area outside my last apartment and i wouldn't even care about shots at night#it only bothered me to have to take my dogs out during hunting season. but I'd just make them go around the front of the house#better views. less woods. overall safer.#it's cool living so close to everything now. but i cab definitively say that city life is not for me now.#not a fan of suburbs either#give me acreage or give me death!
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 4
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4])
(this is a sad one, apologies in advance)
agatha just had the unimaginably traumatic experience of her mother's evil ghost possessing her body, so of course she cracks jokes. she's shaking like a leaf, but hey, coping mechanism gotta cope!
when evanora tried to execute agatha, stealing secrets or whatever was only an excuse, she was punishing her daughter for the sin of being born. whatever she says, her so called worry for these other witches is also an excuse. she's simply furious that someone has begun to think of agatha as a person rather than a monster. it's once again a selfless VS selfish paradox, evanora is always framing her actions as selfless and for the greater good, but her hatred for agatha is undeniably raw and personal. I would love to learn what evanora's life was like, who were her parents? what turned her into such a hateful mother?
(look at how angry rio already is. and alice always protecting the person closest to her by default.)
this is the ultimate humiliation for agatha, someone who has always kept her past and struggles so close to the chest. now one of her deepest traumas is laid bare for everyone to see and judge. she's always trying to come off as strong and unfeeling and formidable, but here she is, a sad little girl abused by her own mother.
btw I see you all have strong feelings about ghosts and billy's powers! lol I got so many comments. I see you, I see you! Granted I'm not actually super invested in my ghost theories, this being a made up marvel show and all, but here's what I think:
agatha says to wanda, "you have no idea how dangerous you are, you're supposed to be a myth, a being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner!" agatha, one of the most powerful witches ever existed, could not create food for nicky. like, the scope of wanda's powers (and billy's by extension) is the kind of scary that can reshape reality itself and truly and properly fuck up the Sacred Balance or whatever rio calls it.
when I say billy created a ghost evanora, yes it's a copy but in the same way a Star Trek transporter makes a copy, you know what I mean? whether the orignal stays behind or not, billy's evanora is the real evanora. and if you believe in souls, that gets even more complicated! did billy take evanora's soul from the afterlife and plopped her in here, or did it copy it too? and was wanda actually able to create billy's and tommy's or did she catch the wandering soul of stillborn twins?
see I don't think evanora was a ghost prior to this (again, I might be proven wrong in the future, but this is where I'm at right now). if that were the case, you know she'd been haunting agatha's ass, wouldn't have given her a moment of peace. maybe rio took extra care to send her to the afterlife, idk. now rio looks shocked and angry to see evanora, like this is a new development.
rio's voice is literally roaring with anger
like i cannot overstate how much rio hates and despises evanora for what she did to agatha
evanora zeroes in on rio, approaches. rio takes a whole step back and makes herself smaller. she's nervous. she says that ghosts are cheaters, but it goes beyond that, doesn't it? rio understands life and death, but a ghost is neither, or both. it goes beyond all her control and expertise, and for the first time since we've known her, she's at a disadvantage. ironic, isn't it, considering what happens to agatha in the finale?
agatha, who's been cowering in a corner, chooses this moment to approach. does she want to protect rio and billy and the others? or is she so desperate for an ounce of love and affection from her mother that she, coward as she is, actually wants to put herself in arm's way?
while everyone is focused on agatha, alice looks at rio. she is putting together evanora's words, agatha's terror and rio's hatred. jen is being selfish. alice, generous alice, could never be selfish
the last time agatha saw her mother she was still a kid. now she is a mother herself and the mere thought of not loving, not wanting to protect your child, of actually going out of your way to harm them? it's simply inconceivable to her.
the shock. the tears forming in her eyes. the same heartbreak she felt when she realized her mom was about to kill her at the stake. she's feeling small and wretched and unloved like only a parent can make you feel
it's the matter-of-fact tone she uses. it's worse than hatred. she despises agatha beyond hatred
there is a moment in a child's life when they see a parent clearly for the first time, their weakness and their flaws. this is especially true for an abused child, it comes a day when you realize that despite being called bad and evil and blamed for the pain happening, it was never really your fault. agatha knows what a parent's love should look like now. and this is not it.
rio visibly deflates. she is the only person in the room agatha opened up with about her mother. there is nothing she can do to spare her pain now. she has no power against evanora
alice has a blinding moment of shock, realization, pity. she knows only too well what generational pain and trauma can do to a person. but she still had a mother who loved her. agatha didn't.
jen, who used to be a healer, can no longer feel compassion. jen has had to learn to protect herself above all others. because evanora hurt agatha, and agatha hurt jen in return.
and when it's all said and done, agatha will always beg. all her power, her brains, her experiences are nothing. she regress to that girl at the stake. I can be good. please.
alice, who's always been the first to jump to everyone's defense, who always puts others before herself. she has seen agatha bare and helpless, she has seen that raw core that agatha has always hidden and, in her final moments, she's accepted agatha in her coven. it's more instinct than rationality, but alice has always been a heart over head kinda girl. if she can see the harpy, if she can see the pain, by GOD she'll do something about it.
“The Knight of Wands.” full of fire, fights bravely.
lilia's gut-wrenching scream. she knows what is happening. agatha already told her.
a succubus who hasn't fed in so long. I keep thinking, there was never anybody who loved her enough to teach her control, to seek alternative solutions to satiate her hunger. rio never could, rio cannot interfere with who lives and who dies. but could a coven together have fed her? could a big coven have donated power little by little, and kept her safe and valued and protected? nurtured her in every way? or was she always doomed from the start? was evanora right, did alice sign her death warrant the moment she chose to love agatha? I know what my answer is to all that, but what do you guys think?
and another question for you: billy casts around desperately for help, nicky answers. was nicky, or rather a shadow of nicky, created by billy too? or was the son of Death powerful enough and scared enough to reach out on his own, maybe with just a little push on billy's part?
a name was all it took for agatha to pass her trial, and look how much was needed to get it out of her. only billy's chaos could do the impossible: drag agatha's ravaged and wrecked heart to the surface. billy only wanted to help her heal, but he's a just a boy with the power to shape the universe. it took evoking ghosts and dredging up horrible trauma to make all of agatha's defenses crumble and raw-beat her into admitting her pain, into maybe, if we're lucky, starting on the road to recovery. oh, billy. you don't know how to handle things gently yet, with your big man's hands and your young, too young soul.
she stops IMMEDIATELY. she didn't know how to control her hunger, until now. the monster was human all along
by. as in, by billy, because he did it all. and also, good-bye. good-bye, mama.
oh, alice. there are no words.
and now they're no longer just numbers, just fools she conned and killed and abandoned on the road. now it's the girl with the big luminous heart, who sang the Ballad with her, who shared her same pain, the first human being in agatha's life who wanted to selflessly help her.
there is a moment, in a child's life, when they see a parent clearly for the first time.
#agatha all along#agatha deep dive#agatha harkness#alice wu gulliver#billy maximoff#rio vidal#jennifer kale#character analysis
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With respect, I disagree that the answer to proposition 2 is unambiguously yes. What's missing from your analysis is that our co-tagonists & deuteroagonist are ALL narrative parallels for one another, & all on v. similar arcs in S1. Ed, Stede, & Jim are all trying to escape from a past they no longer want to be part of & unbearable expectations toward a life where they can be accepted & loved as their authentic selves. Each has a source of friction from their old lives that embodies the restrictive values they're trying to distance themselves from, & which ultimately shames them into returning to their old lives. For Ed, this is Izzy; for Jim, this is Nana; for Stede, the Badmintons. Jim & Stede, after being drawn back into their old lives, receive council from a feminine figure with more emotional maturity than they (Jackie & Mary, respectively), & in so doing come to the conclusion the old life doesn't want them any more than they want it, make peace with laying the old life to rest, & joyously return to their authentic lives. Ed doesn't have that - or, rather, he's got Lucius, but the order of operations is wrong - Lucius gave Ed council BEFORE Izzy comes in with the steel chair to shame & threaten him back into his old life, & in this narrative, it's the last influence that bears the most weight. So before Lucius has a chance to give him additional council, Ed banishes the Voice of Reason from his life when he pushes Lucius overboard, & he is therefore stuck in the Old Life that he reviles. I hope that we can all agree that the Badmintons, while they embody the same colonialist & repressive, upper-class expectations for the correct performance of masculinity as Stede's father are NOT meant to be seen as a father-figure for Stede? And, that, when you add this into the whole tangle of influences/motivators being enacted on our heroes, that just because SOME of those influences are parental figures does not mean that parental status can therefore be conferred on ALL? With regard to the intentionality of the writers including signifiers that were meant to clue us in to Izzy position as a narrative parallel for Ed's father, I again have to disagree. DJenks said in multiple interviews that Izzy being a father-figure to Ed is not only something that didn't occur to them until they were breaking the last episode of the S2, but that the father-figure relationship is something that exists only AFTER Ed shoots Izzy. "He went from a troubled & downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy’s parental figure on some level." "on the other side of the ego deaths, weirdly, Izzy is a father figure to Ed... The character is kind of a jilted lover who then becomes a maimed & discarded employee & emerges from that into being a father figure" "There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season & then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure" Which is not to say this isn't something the writers weren't SUBCONSCIOUSLY including, the same way they didn't PURPOSEFULLY write Izzy to be a racist, but there are so many repeated instances of him displaying racist behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if "is racist" is one of those qualities that the writers subconsciously ascribes to the prototypical "bad boss" archetype. Ultimately, I'm not trying to talk anyone out of embracing Father Figure Izzy if they see evidence for it & found it meaningful. I'm just trying to explain why people like me do NOT accept it as a given, & why it has been alienating to be lumped in with blackhands shippers & izzy apologists, or told we are reading against the text, don't understand how narratives work, or are too dense to see the subtle hints that were clearly there all along.
i guess this is just another way of saying something i've tried to get at before, but when people say they don't think the father figure angle on izzy was set up in s1, i think they are actually conflating two different questions:
did s1 of ofmd portray ed as viewing or treating izzy as a father figure, even subconsciously?
did s1 of ofmd portray izzy's role in ed's life as a narrative parallel for ed's father?
i do think the answer to #1 is quite likely no, at least in terms of authorial intent. you CAN make a case for yes, but at best it would be extremely speculative. honestly the writing in s1 mostly strikes me as just not really very concerned about the question of how exactly ed sees izzy or why ed puts up with izzy's behavior. ed lets izzy get away with all that shit in s1 mostly for the same reason jim's able to teleport back onto the revenge in 1x10: because if he didn't the plot couldn't happen. his motivations for it i'm sure were discussed at some point in the writers' room but at the end of the day they don't really matter to the story s1 was trying to tell so they're left kind of handwavey. watching the ed-izzy scenes in s1 through the lens of izzy reminding ed of his father doesn't feel like actively reading against the text, but it does feel like you're just kind of making up a plausible answer to a question that doesn't actually have a canonical answer.
(david jenkins has said a lot of izzy's arc in s2 is about answering the question "who is he to blackbeard" and i think it's not just izzy himself figuring that out, it's the audience finding out for the first time over the course of the season as well, because s1 didn't tell us.)
the answer to #2 however is absolutely unambiguously yes. multiple people called this long before s2 dropped. i can think of at least six different specific people right here on tumblr who called out parallels between izzy and ed's dad explicitly during the hiatus after s1. a whole bunch more called out that the jim-nana relationship was very clearly paralleling ed-izzy, and obviously nana is not jim's literal parent but is nonetheless a parental figure in their life. these parallels are all very obviously intentional; jim's storyline, for instance, clearly had to be deliberately conceived from the ground up to parallel ed's (as well as stede's). the intentionality is especially clear when you look at the visuals - there are a bunch of visual callbacks to the flashbacks to ed's childhood in both the namby-pamby scene and izzy's duel against stede, and those callbacks are much too specific to be accidental, and they all very consistently place izzy in the role of ed's dad. there's a reason the line "i'm the kraken" appears exactly twice, once right after we see ed strangle his dad in front of a lighthouse and once right after we see ed choke izzy in front of a lighthouse. we also know ed's dad had a cut line "you're making my son soft," which, i don't know how you'd deny it if that was left in there. and yeah the line was cut (albeit based on what we know probably just for pacing) but somebody had to write it in the first place! they obviously knew what they were doing there.
djenks had this interview after s2 where he said something that surprised him as they storybroke the season was the idea of izzy as a father figure to blackbeard, and i believe him about that being a surprise, but i think fandom is doing something fans do a lot with creator interviews and interpreting that statement in a much more rigidly absolute and literal way than he seemed to mean it. i think what he's talking about there is question #1 - the idea of ed being aware on any level at all (even if only a subconscious one!) of izzy acting like his dad, of that being the motivation for ed relating to izzy the way he does, of izzy being one of a long line of angry white men ed has spent his adult life seeking out because of his daddy issues - that was a new idea that wasn't present in s1, that was probably a surprise. but that doesn't mean question #2 - the idea of izzy being positioned in the narrative as a parallel for ed's dad - was a new idea, it obviously wasn't. and in fact that already having been present in s1 is what led to the new idea of ed seeing izzy that way in s2. you're breaking the season trying to figure out what are the most important things to focus on for izzy's redemption and the role he plays in ed's arc, you realize izzy's role as a narrative echo of ed's dad is going to have to become much more centrally important than it was in s1, so you have to find ways to bring out that theme and emphasize it. and one of the ways to do that is to introduce this running motif throughout the season of ed seeking out angry white patriarchs who treat him a lot like izzy does and make it clearly an expression of his daddy issues. because that way when ed breaks down at izzy's apology and death it's a lot more clear to the viewer not just how he feels about izzy but exactly what deeper issue is being resolved for him in that moment.
#tumblr deciding I've used enough characters in homophobic actually#what is this the bird ap?#saying Izzy is Ed's father figure based on parallels with his flashbacks isn't satisfactory to me because one might just as easily say#Stede is Ed's mother-figure. Because the parallels are there for THAT interpretation too.#If Izzy in the duel is Ed's father in a rage then Stede is Ed's mother being attacked#Both Stede and Ed's mom have scenes with Ed where they confer meaning upon the red silk that stands in for Ed's relationship to High Societ#and his worthiness to possess fine things#Both Stede and Ed's mom are put in positions where their lives are in danger unless Ed intervenes#and in so doing he has to leave home and submit himself to a different kind of tyrannical authority that grinds him down#and robs him of his identity substituting their own.#Do I think these parallels are intentional or this is how we're meant to think about Stede and Ed's relationship? No - but they are THERE#Similarly I don't think Izzy as a father figure is a useful tool for understanding their relationship to me#'Behaves in ways similar to his father' isn't sufficient criteria for me to confer father figure status. That's not what a father figure IS#A father figure is a man in a position of power who elicits the kind of emotions one has or should have toward a father#Izzy in and of himself doesn't have power over Ed - he has to borrow it from others to force Ed to do what he wants#(e.g. - getting Fang & Ivan to back him up in the doggy heaven scene & calling in the Navy)#and Ed treats him like a subordinate - because that's what he is. At best he maybe tries to mentor Izzy like with the clouds#or share his enthusiasm about Stede's neat stuff like he's engaging a peer#But when push comes to shove - Ed WILL pull rank or exert his power over Izzy to get him to fall in line.#Compare this to how he interacts with Hornigold - a representation of an actual father figure.#How - even though he's an externalization of Ed's critical voice and manifestation of his subconscious - he exercises direct power over Ed#Not just physically like dragging him bodily along the beach & forcing him to eat - but also emotional power over him.#Like when Ed is trying so hard to impress him with his totally not run-of-the-mill mutiny.#And Hornigold is uniformly emotionally withholding of the praise and approbation Ed so clearly craves.#It's sufficient for me that Izzy is like a piece of equipment or software that doesn't QUITE work how it's supposed to#but you have a work-around that is good enough to get the job done & you're familiar enough with its quirks that you can deal with it#& it's not actually broken enough to justify the hassle of getting a new thing and having to figure out how to make it work#Again - not trying to change anyone's mind here. Just trying to explain where I'm coming from.#ofmd#our flag means death
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Getting Closer
Word Count: 4.6k
Tags: sylus x fem!reader, cnc, stalking roleplay, rough sex, taunting, home invasion roleplay, crying, pet names like kitten, and sweetie, spanking
AN: Hiii again! Tyvm for 900 notes on my last story!!! I didn't think dark romance content with Sylus would be popular with ppl (I keep seeing convos about people mis-characterizing him). But honestly I think people should write him however they see fit!! I love seeing different interpretations! However, one things for certain. This man is definitely into primal play and no one can convince me other wise. This is loosely based on the midnight stealth story where he says "You're pretty good at running away" and "I truly enjoy watching my little prey struggle, especially when it thinks it can escape from me"
AHHHH ENOUGH TYPING ENJOYYYYY!!! (✿˶’◡˘)♡
Its a late evening and you and your dearest coworker Tara (who you basically considered your bestie at this point) were having a delicious dinner at one of the most high rated restaurants in Linkon. What was the occasion? Nothing special actually, Tara was just an intense foodie and felt the need to drag you to practically every restaurant in the city when she was feeling a particular craving. Not that you minded, it was actually nice to get to do something other than fighting for once. The Wanderers had been getting more frequent lately, and it seemed like every other day you were being called to fight them off.
Tara was busy chatting away about her own exhaustion from work, how badly her last haircut had gone, and some guy she had met on the subway that couldn't seem to leave her alone. You could only giggle as she went on and on about him. Despite her obvious distaste for the guy, you thought he actually seemed pretty well rounded. You had been hesitating on telling her about Sylus. You didn't worry that he was going to leave you for Tara, nothing ridiculous like that. He was just...hard to explain. I mean what could you say?
"Oh yeah, I'm dating the leader of Onychinus, yeah the one that escaped from space prison and rules the N109 Zone...did I mention he probably owns this restaurant? But don't worry he's SUCH a sweet guy if you get to know him!"
Yeah...probably wouldn't go well. You let out an exasperated sigh, looking out of the restaurants tall window. It was a bit chilly tonight, no doubt it would start snowing soon. You turn to Tara again, whose still in the middle of her stories of her bad dates. You're about to ask her if she's ready for the check when your phone rings.
Tara gets a dangerous look in her eye and before you can even blink she snatches your phone off the table and abruptly answers.
"Is this the mysterious handsome boyfriend my friend wont tell me about?" she coos, blocking your attempts to grab your phone. "Tara!! Please!" you exclaim, trying your hardest to not get the attention of the other patrons.
You feel your ears heat up as you get up from the booth. She laughs at something he says as you finally get your device from her grasp. She huffs in amusement from her little joke. You put the phone to your ear to hear Sylus chuckling a bit.
"Sorry ...um, what did you want?" you say lowly, trying to get yourself together.
"I'm guessing that's...Tessa?" Sylus says, clearly amused by the situation. He's got that...tone in his voice. The one he uses when he's toying with you. You feel your face heat up, trying to keep your cool with Tara watching close next to you.
"Tara" you correct, coldly, shooting her a death glare. "She's still got a few screws loose clearly". She giggles at this comment and you sigh.
"She seems pretty funny to me"
"What did you want? I was just about to head ho-"
"I really like your hair today, kitten" Sylus says, his voice seemingly lower and...dark?
You feel the hairs on your neck stand up, immediately you begin to scan the restaurant. He hasn't seen you today at all...is he in the restaurant? Is Mephisto outside somewhere tattling again? You scan everywhere but no sight of either one of them.
"Cat got your tongue sweetie?"
You swallow, turning back to the phone. "I see you have nothing better to do than send that damn bird to spy on me again. I'm taking him apart when I find him" you say, trying your hardest to sound calm.
Tara tilts her head in confusion, and you give her an awkward grin. Dammit. You'll have to explain it off as an inside joke or something later. Sylus chuckles again on the other end, sending a million thoughts racing in your head.
"Who said anything about Mephisto? He's back at home, probably resting".
"Then how..." your voice trails off, the words seemingly stuck in your throat. Curse this man, always playing his stupid mind games with you.
"What do you mean how? I can see you of course. How else would I know sweetie?"
Ah...so he is here. He's just hiding from you, probably enjoying the look of your panicked face and you wiping your sweaty palms on your skirt.
"That skirt will roll up pretty easy don't you think, kitten?" Sylus says, drawing out every syllable. You can hear the smile through the phone and it infuriates you. But it also forms a knot in your stomach from excitement. He's got you right where he wants you clearly.
You suddenly hang up on him, barely able to bear the tension forming in you heart and stomach. You sigh and turn your attention back to your very worried coworker. "Um...sorry. I think we should probably get the check don't you think? Its late haha..." you trail off, trying to look less stressed. What was that idiot thinking?? There's no way you were gonna do that in public. You try looking through the window again, trying to spot even a tall silhouette somewhere but nothing...where is he???
You feel cold fingers touch your shoulder, and you whip your head to face Tara. "I'm sorry if I made you upset...or him. Is everything okay with you both?" she asks, her brows furrowed in confusion. Your head spins trying to come up with some explanation for your panic. Is there even a good excuse? No way you could tell her that its some kind of sex game you both indulge in right???
"Umm, look its fine!! Nothing to worry about Tara, I forgive you" you say quickly, gathering your things into your bag. "I have to go though, lets get the check yeah?"
Tara, albeit still puzzled, nods her head in agreement. "Lets meet here again next week! But please, if you ever need to talk to me I'm here okay?" she says softly, before leaning in to give you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. You both chat for a bit before the waiter comes with the check, bidding each other goodbye once the bill was settled.
You open the door to the restaurant and shiver as the crisp, early winter air envelopes your body. It wasn't nearly this cold earlier and you curse yourself for picking this stupid thin skirt to wear. The sun has long set and its dark. The moon gives the street a nice glow however, which settles your nerves a little.
Your phone rings.
You stop dead in your tracks, debating if you should even pick up. With shaky fingers, you finally answer.
"You know I don’t like being hung up on, where’s your manners hm?" Sylus asks. You glance over your shoulder, half expecting to see his annoying grin, but there's nothing there. You nod absentmindedly and murmur a quick "whatever" as you keep walking. Maybe if you stay quiet, you’ll catch the sound of his footsteps and figure out his location?
"You're close...aren't you Sylus?" you say, trying to sound confident in your question. In all honesty you had no idea.
"Obviously. I can smell that vanilla perfume I love so much. You should wear it more often"
"Its not really that good of a scent, too sweet. I don't like it..." you mutter, voice shaking as you walk. You hear a crunch behind you and you whip your head around. Unfortunately, its just some stray cats scurrying about near some trash cans. You cant tell whether your relieved or more frightened that its not Sylus.
"We both know that's not true. You always wear it on our dates..." he chuckles through the phone, as if it finds it amusing. "Always trying to impress me, how cute”.
Ah, so he did notice. You found it kind of freaky how observant he was sometimes. He probably knew you better than yourself at times. But this confirmed something very important. He was close, close enough to smell you. Did you pass by him by accident and didn't notice? You start walking a bit faster, hoping to catch the last subway home before in leaves the station.
"Zip it" you growl into the phone. You look up ahead, spotting some mirrors being displayed in some glass displays. Ah hah...maybe you'll see glimpses of him if you stop by?
You abruptly stop in front of one of the mirrors, pretending to admire your appearance.
"Do you think I should wear my hair like this more often Sylus?" you ask, narrowing your eyes to look in the reflection. There is someone, but its not Sylus. Just a disheveled looking guy smoking a cigarette.
"Using the reflection are we? What a clever little kitten you are...~"
He hangs up.
You spin around, hoping to catch sight of him. I mean c'mon, he's over 6ft, wide shoulders, and white hair. He should be easy to spot, even in the dark. But again, nothing.
But you know he's still watching you. You can feel it. You begin to hug yourself, partly out of fear but also out of being cold. You needed to hurry if you didn't want to be stuck walking the rest of the way to your apartment.
Part of you didn't want to admit it but this was exciting. You liked Sylus when he was sweet yes...but you liked it more when he was dangerous. You keep up a slightly fast pace, trying to keep your head on a swivel. You battle between feeling scared and confident, your stomach in shambles.
You turn your head as you enter the crowd of people waiting to board the subway. All of them seemingly tired and needing somewhere to be. You swipe your subway pass through the gate lock and it opens.
Your phone rings again, and out of instinct you hang up on him. Then you get an idea. You call back.
The distinct ring tone of Sylus's phone can barely be heard over the noise of people chattering but you hear it!! You strain to hear it but it only rings once before he picks up.
"You always manage to impress me with how clever you are. Too bad it won't save you in the end...will it?" Sylus chuckles.
"Quit talking and stop hiding prick" you spat, looking around.
"Ah ah ah, patience sweetie. Unless you want me to take what's mine in front of all these people?"
You can tell by Sylus's tone that he's losing his resolve. More importantly his patience. No doubt he'd be turning up the intensity of yall's little game very soon. You shiver, imagining you pinned underneath him, whining and mewling from his cock while people pass.
"What's your plan kitten?" he asks, the sounds of brakes and doors opening echoing through the phone. "I know where you live, I know what turns you make, what your street looks like. You know you can't outrun me"
"Ha, well I know that you cant hide forever, Sylus" you say triumphantly. You step onto the subway, trying your hardest to push past people.
That's when you see it. The white hair, the red eyes. Your gazes find each other almost instantly. Despite walking into your trap, Sylus's mouth forms an almost villainous grin and he starts taking strides towards you. The door shuts behind him.
You hang up.
Thankfully, people pile behind you, giving you some cover from him. You turn your head over your shoulder, watching him closely. He's wearing a black turtleneck with a brown winter jacket made somewhat of leather. He's broad, and tall and yet blends in fine with the people around him.
You watch as he scans every face and seat he passes. You attempt to back up but are met with a few disgruntled people telling you to stop pushing. You're trapped. Panicking, you try to think. Maybe you could get off a stop early? No, he'd definitely get to your place before you. You have to get home and lock the doors, maybe barricade if you have to. All you can do is think to press yourself against the glass doors to hopefully be the first one off.
You turn around, and realize he's staring you down intently. Somehow he had made his way right behind you without you noticing. He towers above you, blocking your view of other people.
Shit shit shit.
His expression, once smug, now drops. His eyes glare at you from under his brow. You feel frozen, like a deer in headlights. Like true prey. All you can think to do in the moment is turn back around, avoiding his gaze. Sure, he's got you pinned now. But he won't do anything with all these people around right?
You feel him lean down, breath hot against your ear.
"Did you really think you could escape from me?" he growls, trailing a finger down the curve of your spine. You shiver from his touch, your instincts screaming at you to bolt away from him immediately.
"I do like to play with my prey a little...but you know I always find you" he says, resting a hand on your hip now. Your shaking now, whether from fear or excitement, you don't really know. He's so close you can feel the hardness of his erection against your ass. He's definitely at his limit now.
Not wanting him to think he's won just yet, you remain silent and whip your head away from him. You look at the faces of your fellow passengers but no one seems to notice you. They're all busy engrossed in their phones or conversations.
"No ones going to help you kitten". He mocks. He gets even closer, resting his arm on the wall beside you, angling his body so no one can see you. He takes his free hand and slides it under your shirt, caressing your soft tummy, up to your belly button, eventually settling on the roundness of your breasts.
You desperately try to reach up to remove his hands but of course to no avail, it doesn't work. You feel heat rising to your face...but not only there. An aching, hot feeling in the core of your stomach and between your legs engulfs you.
"Sylus...really? Here?" you ask, voice shaking, trying your best to hold in a whimper. Sylus doesn't answer, only continuing touch your breasts. His thumb and index finger rests on one of your nipples, pinching it slightly. You nearly drop to the ground, pain and pleasure sweeping through your core.
'What's wrong? I can touch you wherever and whenever I please" he says plainly, continuing his assault on your nipple. "You're mine".
As if trying to prove a point, his hands comes off your breast and dips underneath your skirt. He swiftly but roughly begins to press his fingers against your pussy over the fabric of your underwear. You gasp at the suddenness of the assault, your knees threatening to buck underneath you. You grab his wrist in an attempt to stop him but he ignores you.
"I should just take you right here. What do you think sweetie?" he whispers in your ear, clearly enjoying the sight of your distraught face.
As if the universe decided to grant mercy on you, the robotic voice of the intercom suddenly announces the name of your stop.
The doors open. You lose your balance, but quickly recover before you eat gravel. You don't even bother to look behind you, you just start bolting, trying to put as much distance between you and Sylus as you can.
"Aww, kitten where are you going? We're just getting started" Sylus chimes from behind you. No doubt not even bothering to chase after you. You knew he'd catch up in his own ways. Ignoring him, you keep bolting, all that track during high school thankfully being good for something.
You make a sharp turn into an alley, your stamina beginning to falter but you know you cant stop. Your phone rings, and in a burst of anger you answer.
"Quit calling!" your voice a mix of anger, desperation and fear, which gives Sylus a good chuckle once more. He's completely unphased by your little tantrum.
"I must ask, why pick an alley? Are you trying to make this easy for me?" he teases.
You turn your head, almost gasping when you see the familiar silhouette of Sylus.
Then he moves. Long, quick strides and he's already closed the distance between you two. He's whistling a familiar tune, no doubt from one of his many records. You recognize it almost immediately, its one of your favorites. But now rather than soothing, its just rather unnerving.
You snap out of your frozen state and keep bolting, narrowly missing Sylus's attempt to grab your hair.
"My kitten is still fairly quick, I see. Good job sweetie" he praises, his footsteps still not far behind you. You know his words are made mockingly. He could've easily grabbed you with his Evol if he wanted to. He's simply toying with you now. Playing with his food.
You turn sharply out of the alleyway, the sight of the gates to your apartment building in view. Safety. Its so close. A rush of adrenaline courses through your veins. The wind whips past your face as you push your body past its limits. The night is even colder now with the sweat pouring all down your body. Your hair is even sticking to your neck and face now but all you can think about is bolting up the stairs and locking yourself away.
You made it to the base of the stairs, wasting no time to run up the stairs. There it is.
You hear footsteps behind you.
The door. Now. GO. You dash through your doorway, cursing yourself about why the door was even unlocked in the first place. But in this situation? It was a blessing in disguise.
That was the fastest you had ever locked a door in your life. You scanned the room making quick work of pushing the sofa against the door and a few chairs.
You collapse.
Your breathes come in uneven, staccato bursts, sweat having drenched your shirt by now. You rip it off over your head, the clamminess unbearable. Now only in your bra and skirt, you're able to breathe a bit. As you start to collect your thoughts, you freeze.
Wait. The balcony.
Fuck.
You get up quickly, rounding the corner to lock the balcony doors. Thankfully, they're still shut when you reach over to lock it.
Yes!! You won?? Did he give up?
There's nothing but silence and the sound of your ac humming for a few short moments. You start to question if Sylus actually did leave you alone, when your phone suddenly rings. You answer it. confidence ringing in your voice.
"I win Sylus. Thanks for the little game though" you retort, still attempting to catch your breath.
"Are you sure about that?" He asks. His voice is cool and calm. "How sure are you that you got to the balcony before I did?"
"Wha-I would've heard you Sylus..." you say with uncertainty. You weren't sure anymore. You look around. Your apartment isn't the biggest. No way he got in here without you noticing.
"Would you have heard me?"
"Pfft. You don't scare me" you spat, backing away from the balcony doors.
You hear him chuckle. "I guess I almost had you didn't I?". You make your way towards your the middle of your living room.
"Say...what do you think would've happened if I caught you kitten?"
Your thoughts stir in your nearly silent apartment. You aren't sure how to answer him, anxiety knotting in your stomach. You start making your way to your bedroom, with your face towards the balcony, watching it with intensity.
"Surprise...~"
You nearly jump out of your skin, a scream ripping through your throat as large arms wrap around your waist and lift you. Sylus is quick to cover your mouth, dragging your kicking and distraught form towards your bedroom.
He got in before you. Of course he did. He can be lightening fast after all.
You bite his hand, hard. He simply chuckles, causing you to get even more desperate.
"Let me go!" you yell.
"Sure sweetie" he drops you to the ground, giving you a small window of opportunity to run. You try, but he instantly grabs your hair, twisting it into his grip. You yelp, tears forming from the sudden pain. The more you struggle the more it hurts. You desperately try removing his hand but of course he doesn't budge.
He watches you with a pitiful look, rolling his eyes.
"So fucking predictable, as usual"
He starts dragging you across the hard marble floor. Your scalp feels like its on fire, each and every strand being stressed with every pull. He finally reaches your bedroom, wasting no time to bend you over the bed. You push back against him, attempting to kick him. He pulls your head back by your hair. You nearly scream, letting out a sob. Tears stream down your face as you try to look at him, pleading.
"Please, I'm sorry. Please don't" you beg. He simply laughs. You feel his Evol wrapping around you.
"None of those are safe words sweetie"
You choke back on tears. You're practically soaked now. And it wasn't sweat. You feel utterly helpless, trapped underneath him, begging to be freed. He reaches up a hand, undoing the clasps of your bra with one hand. Its falls off your chest effortlessly, leaving you exposed.
"Thanks for making this part easy. Though this skirt is still in the way" he mutters. He pins you to the bed, rolling your skirt up to reveal the skin of your ass.
"Sylus...please" you whimper. Your only answer from him is the sudden sting from a sudden slap to the ass. You yelp in pain, the hot achiness between your legs rising. He rips your underwear in two with swiftness.
"Sylus, please" he mocks, you can hear the grin on his face. 'Telling me you don't want this and yet your dripping all down your leg"
He slides a finger along your cunt, making your legs buck. He rolls a finger around your cunt a few times, earning a symphonies of moans from you. You're already desperate to cum and he's barely done anything to you. Breath ragged, legs shaking, your about to beg him to let you finish when he suddenly pulls away.
???
You're confused until you hear the sound of his belt unbuckle. Is he...going to fuck you already? Not that your disappointed at all. You brace yourself for a sudden intrusion when your met with the sharp sting. You yelp, the surprise of the attack sending shivers down your body. But he doesn't stop, he hits your ass again. And again. Then again. And again.
You feel like your about to pass out. The pain is overwhelming all your senses. But part of you doesn't want him to stop. Your sure you have belt shaped bruises littering your ass by now. The tears have completely clouded your vision. You cant see a thing.
"You're so pretty when you cry sweetie. So pretty~". Sylus reaches a hand up to your faces and wipes some tears away. He leans over, lifting your chin to look up at him.
"Are you doing okay?" his tone is soft, his expression a mix of wonder and worry. You nod enthusiastically, letting him know you're still enjoying this.
"Aw. Lets change that shall we?" he says, his soft expression turning into a smug grin. Your smile drops and your heart starts pound again.
This bastard.
He gives you one last hard whip to the ass before you hear the belt drop to the floor. Then the sound of him unzipping of his pants follows. Your pulse quickens in anticipation. You can't move though, his evol keeping you firmly in place. He puts his hand back in your hair, tugging just enough to remind you of your place beneath him. You feel him align his hips with yours.
"Sylus, I-"
Then he's pushing into you. You're so wet that all it takes is one fluid motion and he's in. Doesn't hurt any less though. You stifle a scream, trying desperately through your tears to beg him to pull out. His pace is deep and slow. It feels almost akin to torture. The head of his cock presses against your g-spot, building a painful high in your abdomen. The hour of teasing and adrenaline rush has you beyond overstimulated, you feel ready to burst at any moment but its not enough stimulation. You stay bordering on the edge of heaven, and yet he doesn't allow you to cross over. It feels like hours as he keeps getting you right to the tip of finishing and then slows down. It hurts so bad, and your crying over and over.
"Sylus...it hurts" you whimper.
"Its supposed to"
"Sylus...please" you beg, your voice shaking from desperation.
"Calm down kitten"
"Sylus-'
"I said calm yourself. Or I'll stop now. Do you want that?"
You whimper in disagreement, face planting into the bed once more. Sylus lifts your head by the chin, leaning down to give you a small kiss on the cheek. You look so beautiful right now, the puffiness and red of your eyes turning him on even more. He speaks, his voice hard and cold.
"Always so greedy. Spoiled brat."
With little to no warning, he slams his cock into your aching cunt. You gasp in shock, but have no time to process anything as he fucks you faster and harder with each thrust. Your so overstimulated that it only takes a few thrusts to make you cum. Your body tenses and shakes as you come undone on his cock. Your moaning while gasping for air, feeling the best you've ever felt and yet on the verge of passing out.
Sylus feels your cunt tighten so hard around him that he can't help but also come undone himself. You hear a small and faint "Fuck..." but your head is spinning too much to hear much else. You're in a trance practically.
You feel the stickiness of his cum dripping down your thigh and then your out like a light. Adrenaline and overstimulation had gotten the best of you. Sylus chuckles and gently lifts you onto your bed, pulling the sheets over your worn out body.
When you wake up, your eyes and head hurt so so bad. Your vision is blurry too. You attempt too blink the blurriness away.
Sylus.
You sit up, looking for him. Did he leave already? You look at the clock, the red hue of the lights read that its three in the morning.
"S-sylus?" you whimper, feeling slightly abandoned.
"Calm down sweetie, I'm here. Its cute watching you search for me though" he says, his figure appearing in the doorway. He's holding a water bottle and a wet rag. He sits next to you, and starts gently wiping the dried tears from your face. You look down, your thighs still a sticky mess of cum, sweat and desperation from earlier. Sylus smiles a bit, laughing under his breath.
"I figured I could run you a shower when you woke up" he says, stretching out his hand for you. "Although the plumbing here is...less than adequate I guess I could join you".
You roll your eyes, laughing at his dumb remark before taking his hand in yours. You cant help but crack a smile.
"Yeah, lets go"
#umi writes ♡︎#love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus#sylus x reader smut#love and deepspace smut#love and deep space smut#love and deepspace sylus#lads smut#lads sylus#l&ds smut#l&ds sylus#love and deep space x reader#lads
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TW: nsfw, yandere, toxic relationship, friends with benefits, guns, threats of harm and death, name-calling
gn reader
When you open your heart to your fuck-friend, he sighs with rust.
You still have his cum inside your hole as he tears you a new one—telling you he doesn’t have the fucking time or the fucking energy to deal with lovey-dovey confessions right now—he has enough bullshit on his goddamn plate already without having to consider you and your fucking feelings as well.
If you’re not going to shut up and fuck him, you might as well shut up and fuck off.
So you do. The latter, that is.
Part of you knew it was going to end up this way. You with your heart broken and him with the blood on his hands. But part of you had hoped as well—hoped he felt the same way—hoped your words would soften his edges and wash away all the muck in his head enough to let you in.
You’d read a little too much into those gentle touches he sometimes bestowed upon you in his weaker moments—that soft way he cried when holding onto you during the night, wordless and clingy and begging you not to go.
But the more you think about it, the less you understand why your heart aches. It doesn’t really make much sense after all…
In truth, he’s an asshole. Always been. And you deserve better.
He’s always so angry. Always on something mudding up his blood. Never with anything nice to say. It doesn’t really matter how you’d held him in his nightmares or patched him up when he’d stumbled through your door drunk and bloody.
Scarred boys in need of fixing aren’t good for your health—especially when all they have to offer you in return are callous words of rejection.
He’d always been secretive. He wasn’t a very good lover—but you're not entirely sure if he was ever even a good man. The wounds he’d dreg to your apartment in the middle of the night always left blood on your sheets. He never agreed to go to the hospital—always insisted your first-aid kit was enough, even when he'd come to you with bullets you’d have to dig out with a pair of tweezers.
You realize he’d been using you. You were convenient and stopped being convenient the minute you wanted more—and upon the realization, you move on.
And then he comes crawling back…
Shivering in the rain like a beaten street mutt—looking starved and sick like one, too. There’s blood on his shirt and a grim darkness in his eyes. He tells you to let him in, and you only barely have the guts to tell him to go away.
He has this tortured look on his face—as though something’s your fault, as though you’ve wronged him in some way, as though you’re the reason he’s out in the cold with nowhere to go.
Barging in and slamming the door behind him—he locks it and pockets the key—ignoring your questions as you ask him what the fuck’s gotten into him. He looks deranged—water dripping from his matted bangs, eyes reddened, and cheeks streaked. You only now notice it isn't because of the rain.
“You said you wanted me, didn’t you?” he huffs. “Here I am.”
You’re tense. You hadn’t felt like that with him before, it takes you a minute to realize it’s because you’re scared. After all, you’d wanted him all those other times—rough or otherwise. And now you didn’t want him at all.
“You should leave. You’ve been drinking.”
“What? You changed your mind already?” he accused, then scoffed with a not-so-unamused laugh. “I’m not surprised. People like you, who like danger and bad men, are always so fickle-hearted.” He approaches you too fast for you to back away, his scarred hands curling into your sweater—split skin from recent beatings bleed onto the fabric. “Flighty little slut, you’ve probably already found the next guy who gives you a rush. Isn’t that right?” He’s seething as he pulls you forward, looking like a hostile hound.
You lay your hands on his chest to keep him at a distance—feeling his entire body shake like static beneath your touch. You wonder if he’s taken drugs tonight, but looking into his eyes, you don’t think so. They aren’t fidgety but deadset. Actually, upon closer look, you don’t even think he’s drunk.
But anyway, it doesn’t really matter. You still don’t want him here. “I’m serious. Get out, or I’m calling the police.”
“Oh? Are we slinging threats now?” he jeers, showing no signs of letting go or leaving—he only pulls you in closer, so close you could kiss. “What? Don’t tell me you’re scared now.” He breathes out another short excuse for a laugh as you veer away, putting his lips to your ear instead. “You should have been from the start—but no—grinding up on me at the club as though you’d die without my attention. Crying pretty tears when you saw me all beaten and bruised—acting as though you want to save me. Tch—”
He throws you down on the carpeted floor. You wince from the impact, and when you look up again, you see he has a gun pointed at you.
You stop breathing. A dark sinkhole in your gut seems to want to swallow you from the inside, and you think you might just want it to if it means escaping the threat before you.
“I shouldn't have come here…” he mutters—finger resting on the trigger all too calmy. “But I just couldn’t get your face out of my head. Looking up at me with those doe-eyes, wearing my shirt even though it’s got blood on it after I fuck you silly, saying such sweet little nothings as if I’d paid you to.”
He sighs—heavily—as though he’s expelling spirits. His hand remains holding the gun poised and pointed straight down at you even as the other drags down his face, pulling his maw before sliding through his wet locks, raking them away from his face.
“I gotta kill you, you know?” he says, shoulders slumping with the statement. He sniffs—it's almost soft enough to be a sniffle. “That’s the only way to solve this. That’s the only way to get you out of my fucking head.”
He cocks the safety with a click that makes your life flash before your eyes. Faces of your family and friends, people you haven't seen in years, childhood pets long dead, a job interview, the holiday you felt true happiness, the night you went out dancing and met him.
The tears stream silently down your face, and you still don’t breathe. Every part of you, every nerve and muscle, has gone completely still. Unmoving, unblinking as you stare up through the barrel of the gun and wait for the bullet to come through.
His finger curls tighter around the trigger, and you close your eyes with a furl between your brows. And then…
Nothing. There’s a large exhale.
“I can’t do it…”
You open your eyes to see the gun lowered. The sight brings a fresh rush of air back to your lungs, making you all but wheeze as it fills you, breathing in far too much and much too quickly. You regain some semblance worth of motoric, too—able to scramble backward until there’s no more room to be gained, sitting with your back against the wall. Eyes peeled at him where he’s taken to crouch, holding his head with his free hand and the one still with the gun in it.
He fists his hair and tugs on it frustratedly, muttering to himself. “Dozens of lives on my hands, and I can't kill this one single-” he stopped short.
This time, when he looks at you, there’s something else in his eyes. No malice or scorn, but something sad—pity almost.
“Well… seems like you got what you wanted...”
The pity’s for you.
“This is what having my heart feels like.”
♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Shoto, Dabi ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Toji ♡ AOT – Eren ♡ DS – Akaza, Sanemi
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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