#THAT'S IT FOLKS I'M OFFICIALLY TOO FAR GONE

[lil-artist-blog-fandoms-ocs]

DCA venom au

Chapter 1

The one where the reader goes out hiking and stargazing, but things take an unexpected turn.

alien DCA x human Reader (qpr)

Warnings: pessimistic thoughts, thoughts of death(not graphic), thoughts of war(not graphic), description of sickness

This would be just another day of your life. Would be, if you didn't take a few days off to go hiking in the nearest forest. What were you even doing here? The ground is hard, the campfire smells not as good as people say it does, the forest creatures make all sorts of noises.

And the freaking s'more is just a sticky, sugary disappointment.

You lick your fingers, trying to clean up the sticky goo of the burned marshmallow. Your fingers taste gross. You abandon all hope and go for some baby wipes to deal with it.

A good question. What were you doing out here, so far away from civilization and your favorite small grocery shop that has this wild variety of instant noodles? You wouldn't even consider going away from your work, but this coworker wouldn't stop nagging you. Something about "very good thing happening", or how did she say it? Doesn't matter. She shouldn't be so much into those fancy cards.

A small breath left your lips, the night air was crisp and fresh, making your body shiver a bit. You move a bit closer to the campfire.

This whole trip was a big waste of time, the comfortable routine you've carved for yourself was ruined, and now you also had dirt under your nails.

The night wind blew softly, making the trees and bushes rustle. Almost sounds like a whisper. Or steps of an animal. Spooky.

You wondered for a moment if there were wild animals here. That'd be a dumb way to die: perish only because you didn't check if there were bears or wolves or something else in this area. Not that you'd care if you died. Nor would anyone really. You felt bad for the poor soul that would find your b-

You bite on the fried mushroom and burn your tongue. You hiss, snapping from the dark thoughts and covering your mouth with a hand as if it's gonna help you somehow. You really should learn to wait sometimes.

Fried sausage. Fried potatoes. Fried mushrooms. S'mores. What else do you remember hearing other people eat during camping? … You couldn't remember. Oh well. You were full anyway.

The night sky was clear. Some white dots were visible even when you were sitting next to the campfire. After some thinking, you decided that you don't want to skip the stargazing and threw a blanket over yourself.

You settled on the ground a few meters from the fire. Air felt so much colder already.

But the stars? Oh, they were beautiful.

Your eyes had gazed upon this vast nothingness filled with sparks of light. The human frame so tiny and insignificant in comparison. And yet it felt like this nothingness wanted to crash down at you like a tidal wave. To pull you in, to swallow you whole, to have you amongst its tiny dots.

It was breathtaking, to say the least.

You were alone. So, so alone. All these stars were alone. Millions and billions years away from each other. From you. You were far, far away from everyone. So far away for so long.

You wondered if you still had your light.

Another soft sigh left your lips and the world went dark for a few long seconds.

You tried so, so hard to not let your thoughts drift off and spiral. You were alone and there were a lot of ways to do what the voices in your head would tell you. You didn't want to ruin the day of some random ranger.

You opened your eyes, meeting the stars above once more.

Wait, was it just you or one of the stars became brighter? And bigger too. What's-

In a blink of an eye, the flash brightened the sky before disappearing just as fast. The air shook and made you jump when a loud BANG exploded somewhere to your side.

The war had started, you thought. A missile must've misfired and fallen in the forest. In a few moments you'll be covered by the energy wave, or whatever it's called, and you'll be gone. And no one will know you were here and became one of the victims. You closed your eyes once again, waiting for the worst.

One second. Two. … Minute. Two minutes…

Why is it taking so long?

You opened your eyes when you smelled the scent of burned wood.

A faint, barely visible trail of smoke followed from the depths of the woods. You didn't notice how your body moved on its own. You got up to your feet and went where the smoke was coming from.

Earth was soft and a bit creaky under your shoes. Little pebbles clanked softly with each step you took. You went deeper into the woods, led only by the faint smell of burning. Then, you saw it. The tops of the trees ahead were broken. The black tainted the torn branches. You followed the trail of damaged trees until you stumbled upon….a rock.

You blinked.

The rock was neatly sitting in the crevice of its own making. Some grass around it still had some splashes of red in it, you quickly made your way to step on those sparks. You didn't want animals to die in the fire. The ground was warm, you could feel it even through your shoes. In the dim moonlight you could see clouds of steam come off the rock.

That's when it hit you.

That wasn't a missile. That was a meteor. Or a comet. Or an asteroid. You never learned the difference. It didn't matter anyway. There was a freaking space rock right in front of you. A real rock, right from the skies above. As real as can be.

You could hold in a little squeal of happiness that left your throat.

You quickly stepped closer to this big space rock to take a closer look. You couldn't see it too well, since you failed in being logical and didn't bring a flashlight or your phone. The moon light was all you had.

It had a bunch of holes in it, kinda reminded you of a sponge. You hesitated before touching it, just to see what kind of texture-

You, once again, failed as a human being, as you touched the scolding hot space rock that burned grass around it. Good job.

But you still were able to feel some of it. It was weirdly smooth, like pebbles or glass shards that were left in a moving water for long. You weren't sure what it meant, but guess smooth is better than sharp. You'd be burned and cut. How fun it would be...

....

So, you saw something fall from the sky, but it's not like there's any danger or anything. Go back to the camp and enjoy the last few hours of your trip, right?

Wrong.

You wanted that space rock.

That space rock was calling for your weird fascination with cool rocks. And how cool would that be to have a literal space rock in your collection.

There's only one small problem.

This rock is half your size.

You stood there, looking this boulder over and trying to come up with a way to get it home so it could be a part of your collection. You clearly couldn't bring the whole thing, but maybe you'd be able to bring a piece?..

Oh, what if it's one of these cool rocks that people smash open to reveal pretty crystals inside. Geode, was it? You'd probably die from happiness if that was what it was.

You grabbed the nearest branch that looked sturdy enough. First time it hit the rock with a quiet knock. You hit harder. Nothing happens. You hit once again. The branch breaks, almost hitting you in the face.

Okay, so a stick won't work. Maybe another rock will?

You quickly find a rather big rock with sharp edges. You hold it securely with both hands as you take a stand.

Breathe in. Smash. Again, breathe in. Smash. Once more, breathe in. SMASH.

The boulder cracked loudly and you dropped your tool to pry it open, cursing the hot surface. But there were no crystals inside.

It looked as if you tore a sponge apart, the holes you saw on the surface went all the way through the rock. It was black on the inside. Wait, is it wet?-

....

You woke up when the sun was right above your head, effectively blinding you. You sat up, looking around. You were right where you were stargazing at night. All your stuff just as you left it, you even had your blanket on.

What a weird dream. But no time to dwell on it, you didn't like wasting time out here. Touching grass and watching nature wasn't enough to solve all your problems. You need your job and the comfort of your routine.

Stuffing some leftover fried mushrooms and potatoes in yourself as a breakfast, you quickly gather up your belongings and clean up after yourself. The trip back is long, but uneventful, except some dizziness you felt closer to the end. But you never moved so much before, so you figured that was as normal as seeing dark circles when you stand up a bit too quickly.

Surely, when you make it home, take a shower and have a good 18 hour long nap in your bed you'll be fine. And the management would be so happy to know that one of their nameless employees that took a week off would return only after a couple of days.

….

You make it home in a cold sweat. Your limbs feel like they're made out of overcooked pasta, you're dizzy as if you took a few turns of riding on a rollercoaster and you feel so sick that you think all your inner workings want to escape your body and leave you behind as an empty shell. The work can wait, looks like you've got severe food poisoning.

Damn mushrooms, you knew you shouldn't have trusted them.

The next day comes and goes in a haze. Time doesn't exist as you fall asleep and wake up a dozen times.

You tried eating, but anything that entered your mouth was pushed out by your raging stomach, so you were hanging only on water and bread. You cursed the mushrooms you ate on your trip for a hundredth time as you stood on your knees in front of the toilet bowl.

You'll never accept any food from the coworker that is into taro cards.

You're barely able to stand up to wash your face and mouth, hoping to get rid of the bitter taste. You splash some cold water on your face and then-

"How long is it gonna last?"

You jumped, startled by the sudden voice that came seemingly out of nowhere. You glanced around, paranoid that someone was in the bathroom with you, but you were alone.

"We can't eat, I'm hungry."

You jumped again as a slightly different voice whined in your ear. You were still alone. There was a long pause, before you sighed and whispered. "I guess I finally lost it. I have hallucinations now..."

"Hey, we aren't hallucinations! How rude." The voice calls.

"That's what a hallucination would say." You answer into nothingness. Well, if you were loosing it, might as well make the best of it.

Your left hand moves on its own and lightly slaps you on the face.

"Real enough?" A slightly huskier voice chuckles in your head. Pain feels real. That freaks you out a bit.

"That's my hand." You protest.

"Our hand." Both voices respond.

"Am I possessed by the ghosts of the soviets?"

No answer. For an alarmingly long time.

"No." Was all they answered.

"What are you then?" You ask, wondering what your hallucinations are gonna say.

"We're yours. And you're ours."

You were too sick to deal with it, so you went to lay down in bed and continue being miserable.

"What does it even mean?" You grunt, plopping yourself onto the bed.

"That means you're stuck with us, human." The higher voice called out suspiciously cheerfully.

You just groan. "Great, I'm having food poisoning and a bad trip."

The voice in your head grumbles, as if offended that you didn't stop thinking it was just a hallucination.

"That's not actually food poisoning." The huskier one says. "That might be because of us."

"Yup, your body doesn't want us here!"

"Too bad we can't leave."

"It can't get rid of us! We're bound now!"

You groaned once again, their chirping just making your headache worse. "Can you shut up for a minute?"

"Oh, do you still feel sick?" The chirpier voice asks.

You grunt in response, rubbing your eyes.

"Hm, maybe we can help with it…"

....

You don't remember anything after that.

The only thing you knew when you opened your eyes was that your body wasn't trying to get rid of your organs anymore. When you came back into this world and checked your phone, you noticed that a day was erased from your memory. It takes you some time to process everything, but you guessed that everything was just a weird fever dream.

You turn in your bed and take the phone in other hand to scroll through the news, just to see what you missed while fighting with the sickness. You thought how odd it was that you started hearing voices. It's been a long time since you had auditory hallucinations.

Anyway, you're just glad it's over now-

"Do you feel better now?" The voice in your head calls out cheerfully.

You drop the phone on your face.

[genderqueerpositivity]

TW: medical/surgery talk and dysphoria

I am officially one step closer to my hysterectomy.

After nearly 10 months of effort, I have the support of my primary care doctor, my therapist, my psychiatrist, and the doctor who will be doing the procedure.

I've also gone through the pelvic exam and the transvaginal ultrasound that my doctor requires of patients seeking a hysterectomy; and to be absolutely clear, I would not have agreed to the ultrasound if it weren't a requirement for the surgery.

In spite of all of this, of course, there is still my health insurance company to convince of the necessity of the surgery. I should hopefully know more in the next week or two.

Every step of my medical transition has been blocked by some barrier at one time or another. I'm lucky to have even made it as far as I have.

This is why I want to laugh and cry when certain folks try to claim that it is too easy to medically transition. Every single step of my medical transition has been undertaken as an adult well over the age of 25, paid for with my own insurance or out of my own pocket, with the support of multiple mental health professionals along the way. And still, each step has been difficult.

I've been required to do everything from talk explicitly about my sexual experiences and physical dysphoria for my initial GID diagnosis to having a cold ultrasound wand poked and shoved around inside of my body until I bled. And still I have to do more, still it is not enough.

I want to be excited right now. And on some levels I am! I've been hoping for and looking forward to this for so long! But I am also so fucking tired, I've been so afraid all year of hitting some unnecessary roadblock and having to start this process over. And I am still so so so afraid, because I know now that this probably isn't going to get done before January 20th, and after that who knows if I'll be able to have it done at all.

Also, also? We do a massive fucking disservice to part of our community by not highlighting how difficult it is to medically transition as an AFAB person.

My hormone therapy is a controlled substance that I cannot legally stockpile in anticipation of gender affirming care bans. I was only able to begin hormone therapy in the first place because the requirement of an in person appointment for an initial prescription of a controlled substance was still waived in 2021 due to the pandemic, so I was able to see a telehealth provider. Only this year have I able to begin seeing a primary care doctor willing to take over managing my HRT.

My barriers to a hysterectomy exist both because the procedure is gender affirming care AND because of my sex assigned at birth. Having to repeatedly reassure everyone else involved in this process that I am certain that I do not want to ever experience pregnancy or childbirth is exhausting.

I think I'll be excited and extremely relieved when this is finally done. And then, then, I can finally start thinking about next steps, potentially top surgery...but that will be next, in whatever reality I find myself living in after January 20th.

It's ironically fitting that today is New Year's Eve; it's been a long year and all of this has been a long time in the works. I can only hope that I'll get to start next year off by finally getting this hysterectomy done.

[bjornswoman]

One more

Author's Note: Hello folks! I've been away for too long and I'm so very sorry about this fact. This is my official comeback with this little fic that I found in my drafts. The question is though, is our fandom still alive and active? Have fun with this one and take care P.S. Requests and taglists are open.

Pairing: Ubbe x Reader.

Genre: Mini!au, smut, romance.

Summary: One more morning with Ubbe.

Warnings: Smut.

Strong hands pressed your body forcefully on the mattress. Hot – burning – lips were devouring the flesh of your neck. Hungry eyes were running up and down your body revealing that he had only dirty thoughts about you at that very moment.

You were trying to resist in his dangerous charm and his deadly touch, but your body was out of your control. It gave you away each time, because it was reacting to him – to his teasing touch – in all the ways you didn't want. Your hands tried to push him away by his muscular chest, but to no avail. The man was much stronger than you to make him stop by force.

"We should stop..." You suggested and made one more effort to stop him from going any further. However, your effort was dismissed as your previous one.

The prince's left palm forced your hands on the furs by your wrists and kept you still under him. The free hand of his was drawing imaginary paths on your torso. His touch was so soft that it almost felt innocent, but it was anything but it. Instead the right adjective to perfectly describe it was inviting. It was tempting you to give in to his insatiable desires.

"Ubbe." You said his name in an desperate way to distract him from going forward. However, it was pointless to try resisting him. It had already been a difficult task for you because you desired him almost as much as he did. But Ubbe made it even worse for you.

He had always been like this in a way that felt like he was trying so hard to blow your cover and let your spicy secret escape from the prying halls who kept it sealed.

His hand was getting closer to your thighs and as it was approaching, his movements were slower, but impatient – matching his temper. That stubbornness of his was able to get you in serious trouble, but the man didn't seem to care much about it. Unlike you who minded deeply about this whole situation.

"No." You told him and it was a warning for him not to continue on touching you. Ubbe was dangerously close to restart the actions of the previous night, when the first rays of the sun were making their appearance. A sign that you should have been far gone by now. You should have sneaked in your own room, under your own furs, pretending that you were sleeping all night instead of laying on the prince's bed.

The prince caressed your inner thighs and touched slightly your centre, in return you gasped trying to keep your breath steady and your voice stern. Before you could even try to voice your next protestation, two of his own skilled fingers found their way in your entrance and this time you weren't able to keep yourself from groaning.

"My prince, please not again." Your voice was breathy. The prince smiled when he heard you and placed a sloppy kiss on your bare chest.

In the meanwhile, your hands wrapped around his wrist and with some effort you placed his hand on your stomach and your own hands on his messy hair.

"You can take one more." Ubbe insisted and you tried to make him look at you, by moving your palms on his cheeks. When his darkened blue eyes met your face you could say that your face reddened.

You swallowed nervously as you were gathering your thoughts along with words, though this wasn't easy because he had inserted two of his fingers inside of you and he didn't move them at all. So you were trying not to move, as not to worsen your situation.

"Maybe, but we don't have any time left. Its almost dawn." You reasoned and he placed a finger above your lips preventing you from saying anything else.

His lips closed the distance between the two of you. Firstly, they just touched yours and caressed them in the most teasing way you had even felt. Afterwards, he kissed you passionately – hungrily. It felt like both of your lives were depending on this kiss.

That was the moment when his fingers started moving in the fast and hard pace of his that you were used to by now. Though each time with him it felt like a total different experience.

You moaned within the kiss and the prince bit your lip driving all of your senses on their peak.

[bitbybitwrites]

So yeah that oh so fun "glitch" with Meta

Yeah, so yesterday I had vented about this oh so fun fact :

After being alerted by a friend to check FB/ IG to see if you were following Trump, Melania and Vance, I was surprised to find they were there.

And sure enough on FB there at the top of my "Following" page - there they were. Did I follow them previously. No. So I deleted them.

Checked IG and the only one of the three I appeared to be following (again without choosing to do so) was Vance. So I deleted him.

That was 1/21/25.

This morning (1/22/25), checked on IG and Vance popped up again AND I found out I was now following Tump and his wife ( which I hadn't done before).

So I deleted all three on IG ( Vance for the 2nd time, the other two for the 1st time) and blocked them all (and Vance had like 3 seperate accounts that looked official I blocked the other two I wasn't made to follow just in case)

Checked FB and I wasn't made to follow the trio again - thankfully, but blocked them all as well just to be safe.

Is it going to happen to everybody - who knows . . is it only going to happen to US users - who knows.

I do know I did follow President Biden, VP Harris and Dr. Jill Biden previously on FB. Their accounts are now marked as "archived". And I'm still following those archived accounts. So it wasn't like a let's change the name of the old account or anything so the followers remain the same. So Meta just decided hey, lets all just automatically take all their followers, create a new account for the new president and cronies and make em follow them too!

Whether its a "glitch" or it was deliberate - I don't care - it's still annoying as hell. I'm hoping the blocks will keep them out of my hair for now - though I am curious because I've heard people having to repeatedly deleted them from followers. I wonder what is the highest amount of times a person has had to do it so far?

Social Media is supposed to be a curated thing. I see what I want to see and I don't want any of their bullshit on my feeds.

Its all crazy I'm already seeing that creators on TikTok ( those who have gone back) are having videos removed because of "questionable" content . . . so the censorship begins over there . . .

I've had friends already pull out of Twitter, FB and IG because of this whole mess (plus the whole stupid idea of Zuck's to stop fact checking) . . most are migrating to Bluesky . . . I'm not sure where else folks might be going to but let me know!

I know this place isn't perfect, but hopefully it'll be ok for a time . . . because I'll certainly need a place to get away from the stress of the real world by enjoying weird wild fandom shit with you people.

It's gonna be a LONG 4 years - but we'll get through it together, folks!

[mjrtaurus]

I'm confused, is he trans or no? Because you say he had Luffy but also refer to him as male in the childhood posts. I'm sorry if i seem disrespectful, i'm still learning about trans stuff.

No problem! It's good to learn!

So the whole Sir Crocodile is Trans thing isn't canon, but it's a very common theory with quite a bit if evidence to back it up. The Crocomom/Crocodad Theory typically goes hand in hand with the Trans Crocodile theory, too. It also isn't canon.

So, officially, as far as we know, canon Crocodile is a cisgender man- meaning he identifies with the gender he was assigned at birth- until further notice.

I headcanon Crocodile as a trans man and as the one who gave birth to Luffy. It's safe to assume that whenever I am talking about Crocodile in a post, he is trans and Luffy's parent.

Now as for referring to him as male in his childhood, I headcanon that he knew he was a boy by the time he was four, which is not outside the realm of possibility in the real world. Kids have a sense of identity all their own, and not all identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. What they do with that information is between them and their parents/guardians. A trans child is not put on HRT- hormone replacement therapy. A trans child is not given sex reassignment surgery. A trans child- if they are fortunate enough to recieve any treatment at all- is put on puberty blockers. This has no detrimental longterm effects, and allows the child to feel at least a bit more comfortable in their body until they are old enough to actually recieve HRT. Again IF they are fortunate enough.

As for the pregnancy. Trans men can get pregnant. They can get pregnant even when undergoing HRT. The only time a trans man 100% can't get pregnant is if they were infertile to begin with, have been totally abstinent, or have had a hysterectomy.

Crocodile was out as a trans man by the time he got pregnant, but he still had a functioning uterus and ovaries. Typically the chances for pregnancy during HRT are pretty low, but they aren't impossible. And typically HRT is put on hold if the recipient is pregnant. Crocodile did not know he was, due to Luffy being a cryptic pregnancy. Iva not following medical protocol to test for pregnancy beforehand is a testament to the broken system in One Piece that mirrors our own in the real world. Trans folks often can't get the help they need safely and legally due to a lot of fearmongering against them from people in power who want to demonize them simply for being "different". Iva is not a medically licensed doctor, therefore protocol isn't exactly a thing to stand on. However, if they knew Crocodile was pregnant, they would not have gone through with the HRT until further notice.

But back to one of the original talking points, being pregnant doesn't mean a trans man is no longer a man. Pregnancy does not effect the identity of a trans man. There are trans men out there right now, many even on this site, who have given birth and still are men.

It can all seem a little confusing when you're still learning, so be gentle with yourself. And most of all, thank you so much for being willing to learn.

I would also like to be clear that I am not trans myself, so if anyone reading this is, and I have failed to relay certain information in a respectful way, or have left some crucial information out entirely, please correct me on that in a reblog, an ask, or a reply. I am still learning, too, and I want to treat this topic with the respect it's due.

[doberbutts]

Do you do/train for/compete in any dog sports with your dobermann? Would you recommend a dobermann for a beginner sport dog? Thank you!

Yes, Fenris and I are currently training in a protection dog sport called mondioring, or just mondio for short, and we'll probably pick up a few obedience-only titles in IGP (used to be called IPO, which used to be called schutzhund, another protection dog sport) along the way to support the United Doberman Club (which is mostly IGP-based tbh). I debated AKC obedience and rally but honestly right now my focus is mondio because I like it more and he seems to be doing really well in it. If we hit a wall we may switch tracks. But so far he's got nothing but compliments, so I'm not really worried about it.

As for whether I'd recommend dobes for a beginner sport dog, it sort of depends what you mean by that and what sport. I have had 4 dobermans total thus far. Only two have done anything in sport due to temperament of the other two, and of those two neither has actually accomplished anything in competitive sport. Creed had a mock BH under his belt (preliminary title to begin competing in IGP), but it wasn't an official trial so it doesn't count, and he's been gone for the past 2.5 years. Fenris just turned 13 months and being a young puppy I'm honestly in no hurry to put any titles on him- he passed his puppy temperament test and that's all I've done with him thus far because I am deliberately taking things slow with him. (and I didn't even enter him in the temperament test, his breeder did because she was showing her keepers at the same event!)

So... I mean... it's not like I'm a seasoned competitor. To the folks at training club, I'm a beginner too. And to my knowledge, Fen's breeder's foundation bitch was her beginner sport dog- his grandmother. Far be it from me to discourage you if you feel it's the right fit.

However, I will say that if you are wanting a doberman you should be committed to the doberman, vs if you want the sport you should be committed to the sport. What I mean by that is- if you are looking to really excel and have a nice dog right off the bat for your introduction to a sport, you may want to consider breeds more suited to the sport you are thinking about playing in. There's nothing wrong with getting a border collie for agility, or a golden for obedience, or a shepherd for IGP, or a malinois for mondio. But if you want to get a doberman, then commit knowing that your journey will likely look very different from those who chose more in line with the breeds that do well in their sport of choice.

The doberman was never intended to be a sport dog. It was intended to be a personal protection dog. That doesn't mean dobermans can't do well at various sports- in fact many dobermans excel at many sports! But it does mean that you're probably going to experience different challenges in your training than your fellow competitors, and you should keep that in mind instead of feeling discouraged.

[iniziare]

This'll be a shorter one, but I'm touching on this in an ask, which has me want to note it down officially elsewhere: why is Solas so passionate? Firstly, as Bellara makes note of following the second memory that depicts Solas and Mythal, we know that the ancient elves felt all things very strongly to a point that seems to necessitate an explanation of 'difference' (but as Bellara is Dalish, her knowledge of the ancient Elves needs to be taken with a grain of salt), now this can be logically traced back to their spirit origins. Now, perhaps this is me looking a bit too firmly into the concept of manifested emotions, virtues and/or motivations (which is what the spirits are said to be)— but to be presented as the manifestation of something that is the purest and strongest, it would make sense to me that it requires to be driven by the deepest of faith, which then ultimately returns to the concept of passion. Part of me even wonders if that then would play into a spirit's power level, but I digress, that's not the part of this post (though I mean, it does a little.)

If this would propel the purity of the spirit, then let me take a look at Solas once more— look at the intensity of each 'purpose' that he sets himself on the path of. Yes, he's originally a spirit of Wisdom that slowly gets twisted over the course of a long time, but a lot of it stems from very intense emotions he holds: he leaves the fade for Mythal out of loyalty to her ('I will always follow where you go'), he rebels against the other Evanuris (including Mythal herself when she 'sides' with Elgar'nan, and through that 'rebels against' Solas) out of a firm belief that Elgar'nan's rule and the choices made therein, will bring about the destruction of the Elves and the world— he enacts vengeance on the Evanuris when they killed Mythal despite her also having gone against him prior (again: loyalty), he goes on a journey of wanting to undo his mistakes out of regret and guilt (and even in this: a loyalty to his people which plays into his pride for/of the Elves). Dragon Age: Veilguard shows us how far 'pride' can go, and Inquisition was made to showcase what it looks like what you're around a spirit of Wisdom, the excitement it can show when approached from a perspective of curiosity, and the rebuke of pride you can face when approaching it from a place of arrogance or even malice. All in all, I think it's easy evidence to say that spirits are beings of intense passion for their purpose, or virtue— and in that, lies the explanation behind Solas' enduring passion that may seem like a little bit too us 'common folk'.

[notsocheezy]

V-Day - Under Transition Indefinitely

That's what UTI stands for, right?

Oops, guess not, and I've probably got one. So now I'm swallowing red dye pills three times a day to kill the bladder pain and pissing popcorn butter for the bargain. Not to worry, folks, I've already dribbled into a cup and the lab specialists are growing a culture to figure out what's going on.

Frankly, though, I'm even more concerned about if it's not a UTI. Because then... What do I even do? Without the bladder painkillers - which aren't meant for long-term use - I literally won't be able to sleep. After peeing, I felt like I had to pee worse!

In other news, the stitches continue to be a pain in my crotch. One of them is just dangling there, an inch-and-a-half out, easily pulled by mistake. It's horrible. And it's been a struggle to dilate with the second size, too. It feels like I'm jamming into bone, no matter how far apart I spread my legs. I'm doing my best and it's just not enough.

I also haven't slept very well lately, for obvious reasons. Constant pinching and pulling and burning and swelling will do that. I'm exhausted and relatively hopeless. Maybe if I set a goal of sorts, I'll feel better when I reach it, so let's make it official and say, "I will be happier when my UTI is cured and all these unending ramen-looking stitches are gone."

Yesterday marked a whole month since surgery and I've seen my friends maybe five times since then. I miss having a life.

[obigem]

"Are you sure all of those tricks will work?"

"Of course they will. DeShawn folds every time after just one. My guess is Jai will melt like puddy in your hands just as fast."

The girls quickly wrapped their boys 101 cram class as the start of dinner approached.

"Now remember, stay confident, coy, but not too coy, coquetish, but not overtly sexual, and laugh at all his jokes, but with a giggle, not too over the top. And for the love of Watcher do not snort. It's not cute"

"Oh gee, I'm never going to remember all that." Cordie moaned.

"If all else fails, bat your eyelashes. It doesn't work with every girl, but you got those big disney princess eyes. Any guy would fold over those."

"Wait, you never told me my eyes were huge. Oh no, what if I look like an alien?"

"Cordie, babes, dial up the chill. You're fine"

"You look super cute, Jai's going to fall all over himself for you, and you'll officially have your very first kiss."

"You think so?"

"I know so! Now give me a hug, I'm meeting D at his place for a study date while his mom works and the rest of his folks are here tonight."

"Since when do you study outside of school?" Cordie looked at her BFF suspicously.

"Since I got a new stick of fruity delicious lip gloss I really want to test drive. Now no more questions. Hugs, hugs now!"

"OK." Cordie giggled as she gave her best friend the biggest hug ever.

"Now my mother believes I'm studying at the library with a tutoring group, so—"

"I'll text you 10 minutes before the Reynolds are about to head out so you can make your way home without getting caught."

"Thanks, bestie!" Jordie gave Cordie an extra squeeze.

"But Jord, don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you decide to anyway, please use protection."

"First of all, the list of things you wouldn't do is far too long. Second of all, D and I haven't gone all the way yet."

"Really?"

"I have very specific plans worth waiting for."

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 9

It's time to get the knight ring from Naesala!

I love Ike's attitude here. That being said, I did make the decision to have Janaff talk to Naesala, because there's no way that I'm going to fight Naesala. I like to imagine that Janaff did it of his own volition.

This map took me waaaay too many tries, because I was determined not to kill any crows. The crows did not make this easy for me. Additionally, drawing Naesala out without him destroying any of my units proved to be... a bit of a challenge. Finally, I just used Tanith's recruitment skill to summon some nameless NPC's to do that job for me. Sorry, random pegasus knight! Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.

A man with a killer axe attempted to attack Nephenee, but I gave her vantage, and she decided to one-shot him with a crit of her own. Oh, Nephenee, you absolute bloodthirsty menace you.

Time for the big reveal! I forgot this happened so soon.

Gosh, such a powerful visual. Poor Elena and Greil. They both deserved so much better.

Some people typecast Titania as the team mom, and I have no objections against it, but I think her sass is terribly underappreciated. I love how often she beefs with Soren, who at this point in the story looks like a literal child.

Two points here:

First, I (ironically) love how Mist's medallion is stolen the morning following Ike and Volke's conversation. If only Nasir had stolen it a little earlier, Ike would have had a very different reaction. Like, yes, family heirloom, it sucks that it's gone, but it's not the end of the world.

Second, I (sincerely) love how Ike is allowed to be a bit of an asshole sometimes. Like, when he gets stressed out, he lashes out at people. He gets cranky and irritable, like in that conversation with Jeorge about battle tactics. And it makes sense. He has a lot to shoulder during PoR, and he never asked to be put into any position of leadership in the first place. He's allowed to be angry and bitter about it.

I always forget that, on top of their prejudice against laguz, Daein is also anti-immigrant. Really, the toxic patriotism of Daein feels so painfully familiar at times. I feel like someone could write an entire essay on this subject. Additionally, I wonder if Jill has experienced anything like this, or is it different because she was born in Daein?

Man, I both do and don't feel for Shiharam. Like, okay, he's a good man. But he's also a man who allowed his daughter to participate in laguz hunts. I know it was all for the purpose of gaining the king's trust, but still. He kind of made this bed for himself. I don't know. It's such a complicated matter, and I like that he's a complicated character. My feelings about him just keep flip-flopping all over the place.

Gotta love Soren's pragmatism! I love how he deeply understands how society functions, while also being critical of the systems in place. I feel like you usually see this sort of pragmatism from characters who are rich and full of themselves, blaming the underclass for their own misfortune. Soren knows why things are the way that they are, knows that, because the people rely on nobility for protection, there is a huge power imbalance between nobility and the common folk. As he says earlier in Begnion: "From the moment of our birth to our final dying gasp, we commoners know we are not allowed to defy the upper classes."

So while Soren's lecture here is extremely brutal, I don't think it comes from a place of bad intentions. In his eyes, Elincia is naive and inexperienced, and has thus far been ignorant of the true horrors that the average Crimean has had to endure. He is angry because he cares. He is angry because he's worried about the future of Crimea.

I'm just... I love Soren. As Ike says, deep down he's a big softie.

And I finally got Mist to second tier! With this, I have officially gotten all of my main units to class up.

The Talrega map was a walk in the park compared to the previous one. I basically had a small group (which included Jill, Ilyana, Rolf, and Astrid) squat by the houses in the upper left section of the map, and their only job was to destroy as many wyvern riders as possible.

Everybody else just rushed towards the boss at top speed.

Next time: time to lay siege to Daein Keep!

[jizzlords]

@madefate asked: ❝ So, hey uh - ❞ Not all of Blitz's confidence is gone - it's just that with reality setting in there's a little more hesitation. Though, of course, that leaves room for the intensity of earnestness - the fear and anticipation that comes with potentially touching something real that you simply don't want to fuck up. ❝ - I mean, I think I've been picking up with Fizz has been putting down - ❞ ( blatantly putting down ) ❝ But would you - actually want to ... uh ... with - y'know. Me ? ❞ / unprompted, always accepting.

The way Asmodeus' stride slows when addressed: looking over his shoulder to find none other than impish assassin seated (looking pretty lonely, if you ask him!). Grinning wide, he's redirected his attention and swiftly joins Blitzø's table. Nevermind the eyes on them throughout the club, it's not important.

❝ Heh, 'bout time you've come around. I was beginning to think you were getting a case of cold feet. ❞ Ozzie was no stranger to dabbling in "dropping hints" with select souls. Nothing more but a quick bang between him and Fizz from time to time. But an old friend of his boyfriend's? To officially join? Ooh baby, the idea has merit! He actually loves watching Fizz drop the hints (it's something to do with watching his baby at work of luring folks in). More the reason he supported Fizz to do the honors of invitation (even if it took a few tries. Nothing wrong with desiring certainty).

❝ Heh heh! We-ll, any friend of Fizz's is definitely a friend of mine! If you're picking up what I'm putting down. ❞ Head cants to the side, obviously checking out Blitzø's demeanor. Yeah, he's real cute. He can envision the three of them getting into some serious shit. ❝ You're pretty bad at this. ♡ But don't worry, I got you. ❞

He's offering one of his hands from over the table, talon tapping his own cheek. Ozzie's barely taken his eyes off of Blitzø but the way his grin widens implies... ❝ You're almost as bad as Fizz is with keeping a low profile over there. ❞

Tail swishes across the floor giving Blitzø time to adjust what's going on (should he actually take the hand Sin offered) and maybe scope the jester not too far from them. Super low-key.

❝ To answer your question, babe — ❞ a little more bluntly this time, ❝ I'd love to actually ... y'know. You. Heh-heh. ❞ yeah, he's teasing Blitzø's way of approach but the laugh that follows means this is light-hearted amusement.

❝ So what do you say? Should we give Fizz something to get excited about? ♡ ❞ the way Ozzie subtly leans forward implies something like a kiss. To really seal the deal.

[steel-forged]

Faith and Integrity

I've decided I'm going to post the backstory for a D&D/Pathfinder character I intend to play in the future. Posting it here because it might actually interest people and help spark some motivation to write more of it. Part 1/10.

Small towns often lived and died by the honor and integrity of the people living within them. Their willingness to work, to communicate, to share. To stand up for one another, to invest in the common protection of everything they held dear. To trust that your neighbor had intentions as clear and pure as your own. It didn't always make for an easy life, but it could very easily make for a good one.

Integrity wasn't a town on a main road. Nor was it far from one. Wasn't quite the smallest town, but definitely didn't capture the title of city. It was a place that seemed to occupy a middle ground in several senses of the term, happy to exist as it was. Traders came, goods left, and often times the most exciting news in a week was a birth or someone getting sick. A place most people could recall fondly, but just as easily let slip from their mind once they had moved back onto the road.

If there was anyone within Integrity that held to the ideals of a small town more than anyone else, it was Faith. Faith was a woman who made friends easily, who moved through town with a smile on her face. She had a kind word for her neighbors, a gift for her friends, and a sense of right and wrong that often set everyone back on the correct path when they were near enough astray. Integrity didn't have a judge, not a proper one, but everyone knew you could take a problem to Faith and she'd see it sorted out right proper.

Of course, no woman is an island, and beyond the friends she made, the unofficial arbiter of the town had a husband and a son all to call her family. Moreso than she had called anyone before that family, anyway. See, her folks had done their duty some years back, standing up to the local bandits during a raid on the town. Pa had caught the wrong end of a rusty sword, Ma not far behind when she caught a horse's hoof or two. It was a painful sight all around, but she refused to drop her gaze over it, carrying on in their name as everything they hoped she could be.

When her boy had reached his tenth winter, Integrity happened upon a problem. A significant one, unfortunately. Every week, the counts of the town stores were wrong. Counts too high. Items too few. Everything accounted for going in, things missing coming out. At the rate it was happening, the townsfolk would be left mighty hungry until next harvest without quite a bit of trading. That seemed to be the worst of it, at least for a time.

Once the stores started growing thin, Integrity turned to trading with caravans passing the town by as much as possible, but even that proved difficult in short order. First goods from the town stores, then people began to take notice that their personal valuables were vanishing as well, dramatically reducing their ability to barter. Despite the best efforts of the guards and their captain, none of the missing goods could be found anywhere within the town. No one had them. No thieves had been seen. It was as if a ghost had begun haunting them, intent on bleeding the good folk dry bit by agonizing bit. This might have gone on until Integrity ran dry, if not for the indignation and determination of Faith.

She embarked on a personal journey, a quest to discover the truth about what was plaguing their fair town. Faith spoke to neighbors, she spoke to victims, she spoke to officials. The deeper she dug, the more she found that didn't add up. There were never any signs of break ins. Never any cries of alarm until the morning light. No patrols ever found anyone trying to get in or out, meaning that the thieves had some secret way in or out, or were being helped. Try as she might, there was nothing to be found that would point her in the right direction.

Nothing until the day someone handed her a letter, asking her to give it to the captain of the guard. It had a strange, rolling weight to it, like that of a coin inside. Wasn't unusual in and of itself, but by happenstance, the light managed to slip through to reflect off the brightest coin she'd ever seen. A piece of platinum. Far more than anyone in Integrity had ever seen. Well, to say it raised her suspicions would be an understatement. Something was up, she was sure of it. Once she found a private moment, she opened the letter, planning to apologize later if need be. Turns out, she didn't need to. The letter confirmed fears she hadn't even considered. The captain was the culprit. The shiny coin his payment in exchange for sneaking bandits in and keeping the guards away. It all made sense, of course, who else could pull all that off?

So, as always when she had a problem to solve, she confronted it head on. Faith confronted him, using the letter as proof of his wrong doing. Despite his sins laid bare, her threats to reveal the crimes to the town as a whole, the man seemed calm. Frightfully so. It simply went unnoticed beyond her righteous indignation. This was, in fact, all part of his plan. Once Faith started poking around, it was only a matter of time before he would be caught, so he planned for it. Planned for her.

Faith never had a chance to reveal the truth, even staged as it was. The captain had another letter already made up, but instead of implicating him, it was her that gave these criminals access. Her that kept the guards at bay. And what better cover up than to investigate herself, searching for any loose threads? The only missing piece was the payment. The platinum. With such an admittance in hand, the captain called Faith to his office to discuss things. When presented with her crimes, she became unruly, throwing accusations of bribery and misconduct. Got out of hand.

Or, that's the story Integrity was told, anyway.

With the town's best arbiter being the one standing trial, the captain acted as judge, jury… and executioner. For treason against Integrity, Faith was sentenced to death. Her resistance to arrest led to her falling off of her horse as it ran, dragged by the ropes that connected them much longer than anyone could say through the bumpy paths among the trees around the town.

That's the story that was told, at least.

The captain only stopped his hard ride once her golden hair had been dyed crimson with her own blood. Eyes too swollen to open anymore. Breathing out red as much as air. When all was said and done, she couldn't even form the words required to tell him how much she hated him. Couldn't lift a hand to show him her thoughts. Couldn't swallow her own teeth to cry out. All she could think about was how she had been betrayed. How justice had failed that day. How her friends, family, neighbors would continue suffering the touch of phantom thieves without knowing who caused their anguish.

And that was the last thought she had.

[kariachi]

Fic! I realized that this au I threw out a bit ago would hit even harder in an 'Argit is a Tennyson' au so, I had to combine them, alongside a few other aus because I'm god here.

There is A Lot going on all at once for the cousins.

~~

“You want the annoying news, the more annoying news, the bad news, or the worse news?” Somehow, this immediately topped the list of disconcerting things Ben had said to her, and with the way their lives had gone in the past several years that was a high bar. She was forced to put a bookmark in her textbook and head out into the hall.

“Okay,” she said as soon as she was alone, “just give it to me in order.”

“We have another cousin.” Alright, that one was annoying news. Now shocking anymore, not since they’d gotten old enough to learn about their grandpa’s exploits. Fuck, Uncle Manny and his family were only part of the family because he’d hunted down her dad in search of a connection.

“Does it not end,” she groaned into the phone, rolling her eyes.

“Apparently not. He’s Erinaen and according to Rook they tend to have litters so, probably one of a lot we don’t know about.” Gwendolyn groaned again. “Which is where the more annoying news comes in- he lives in Geilla Bohln, has for years, and Grandpa’s known he was out here. All the higher ups knew he was out here, apparently.”

“Seriously?!” That was taking it a bit far. At least Uncle Manny lived in the Midwest, but to have a relative less than an hour away and Grandpa still keeping it all a secret- Fuck, it wasn’t even like he had the ‘alien’ thing (and she was going to have to look up what an 'Erinaen' was now, joy) as a good excuse, not when they all knew they were hybrids now, and the masquerade had dropped over a year ago. But then, what was their family made of if not secrets. “And this isn’t the bad news?”

“Are you surprised?” No, not really, just… She heaved a sigh. “So, there’s a good side to all this- you know how the Incursean Invasion just got fucking steamrolled by the folks out there? Apparently, a big part of that was him, so hero stuff runs in the family apparently.” Joy. “Problem is, he’s used that to get political office and now I’m banned from Geilla Bohln.”

Gwendolyn froze. Pulled back her phone to stare at it. Brought it back to her ear.

“What?”

“Yeah.” You could hear the forced grin in Ben’s voice. “Plumbers got all sorts of official paperwork saying I’m not allowed in the town and they’re on thin ice. So Patellidae goes ‘they’re your grandchildren, you handle this’ to Grandpa, suddenly the two of us and Rook are heading to this guy’s office to try to make him see reason.”

“He wouldn’t see reason, I take it.” Clearly got that from Granny Rita’s side of the family.

“He had a powerpoint presentation ready with every reason why I am not allowed to go heroing around ‘his colony’ any longer.” Okay, at least he was organized. She’d thought that came from her mom’s side of the family. But then maybe it came from his non-Tennyson side too.

“So, what happens if you do anyway? I mean, I doubt the Plumbers are going to stop you, and your fans can’t be happy with this.” Ben barked a humorless laugh.

“Oh, that’s where it gets fun,” he said through gritted teeth. “He’s got Kevin 11 on his payroll. Introduced him as his. The guy was stood to the side during the whole meeting, watching like we might cause trouble.”

That, more than anything, was enough to knock the air out of her lungs. Kevin fucking 11, the guy who had tried to murder them way back when? She didn’t know whether it was worse that he lived so close or that he was working for, and potentially influencing, a relative. It would certainly explain Ben getting banned from the town…

“That is an actual nightmare,” she said before any more cohesive thoughts could form in her head.

“Yeah, it is. I spent the whole time half-ready to go for the Omnitrix, and I don’t think it made a good impression.”

“Well, what can he expect when he’s got a known killer stood in the corner?” Running a hand through her hair, she wracked her brain for a way to fix this and found nothing that didn’t involve fighting Kevin again. And she’d thought her relationship with Sunny was bad, this was going to be a whole new branch of antagonism.

“I can’t even tell anybody else,” Ben lamented on the other end of the line, and it hit her with a sourness in her chest he was right. “I mean, can you picture my mom? She’d want to invite him over for dinner so we can all ‘reconcile’ or some shit…” She could picture it, and the idea of letting anybody, even a relative, that associated with Kevin 11 that close to one of the civilians in the family sat wrong in her gut. But if they said anything, that was exactly what would happen. Their only choices were to risk it, or to keep another of their grandpa’s million self-serving secrets… With another groan, longer, more aching, she leaned back against the door to her dorm.

Fuck her life to shit.

[kinosternon]

20 Questions

Got tagged by @marezelle (like a month ago, whoops) and this looks fun, so I'm gonna try it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Officially 37, unofficially 57-ish (I have a lot on anon right now, plus some semi-ancient FFN stuff posted under a pseud)

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

Apparently, 644,538.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Kind of a lot? One "it's complicated" fandom which I tend to stay on anon for, especially lately; a fair bit for a very specific corner of Free!, also for Natsume's Book of Friends. Voltron's an ex-fandom but I had fun with it right when it started; there's a handful of other anime I've cycled through. I've got an Undertale longfic I'd really like to get back to one of these days. Lately, a whole bunch of stuff for the 9 Worlds series by Victoria Goddard, which is both amazing in itself and also has my favorite fan community to date.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Names Gone Before—my one and only Adventure Zone fic, and a oneshot, but apparently it was a hit lol

Chasing Silver, Chasing Gold—my beautiful monstrosity of a love letter to the characters introduced in the third season of Free!, and which came out too late for most of the English-speaking fandom to notice it very much (this goes for the show itself and also the timing of my publishing🥲). I am so grateful that so many people have managed to find it regardless!

Equivalence—aforementioned Undertale longfic. I really want to finish it one of these days, but I know what's coming in the last arc and it intimidates me. XP

Omimai—of all my Natsume fics, I'll admit I wouldn't have figured this to be the top one. But I guess Natori is a fan favorite, and I do appreciate that it's very solidly a gen fic that gets a lot of love regardless.

Like trust falls from towers—aforementioned s1-era Voltron fic. It was an experiment to get me posting more, I had fun with it while it lasted, and I got some truly wonderful comments and support from folks reading along while I was working on it. I still go back and reread it sometimes, and I think it was pretty good.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to! I want to show appreciation and make sure people know that going to the effort it takes to write a comment means a great deal to me.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's a tough one. Probably Pistachio Christmas Tree, as it's a snapshot of a really rough time in the POV character's life and doesn't really show any signs of things getting better for him anytime soon. (All my angsty endings come from canon compliance, lol)

OH. Or Chasing Fingerprints, which is a Nabari no Ou AU oneshot that I wrote back in high school. I wrote it under some weird constraints and don't really like it all that much, but the ending is ambiguous and deeply angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That is also weirdly difficult to say! Snapshots for Natsume, Slow your breath down (just take it slow) for Victoria Goddard's novel Plum Duff, and turning in your hand for At the Feet of the Sun (also by Goddard). Two of those three are wintertime fluff; I enjoy that subgenre a whole lot.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. I've occasionally had some slightly weird interactions, but overall I'd say even those were well and enthusiastically meant.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Occasionally, and I'm not sure what kind it'd count as. Insecure, possibly? (me or the characters, either-or XP)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Only two so far! The weirder one was my first-ever fic, where I technically crossed over Twilight with both old!Who and new!Who. Then there's Clowder, which crossed over two of Yuhki Kamatani's manga from pretty different eras and genres and which I'm pretty darned proud of.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone ask once, a while back, but at the moment I don't remember which fic it was, or if I ended up hearing how it went.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

...If adding to a bredlik compilation counts, then yes? And I've also done a fair bit of writing to requested prompts for gift exchanges and the like, which isn't the same thing as cowriting but which feels at least a little bit similar.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh man, how can I choose? 😭 At the top this has to be a tie between Miharu & Yoite (Nabari no Ou, QPR extraordinaire) and Yukito/Touya (Cardcaptor Sakura, TRC, etc). But also Merthur was my first ship-ship. HiyoIku (Free!) for writeability and general fucked-up-ness, but I'm not always 100% sure I ship it, tragically. Natsume and Tanuma for the same uncertainty minus about 90% of the toxicity, whee.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm not going to say "doubt," but uh. A couple of "it's complicated" fandom pieces (especially the ones I originally meant to be series) and also the Undertale longfic. Also some 9 Worlds WIPs, but I haven't started publishing those ones yet, either.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization is a big one—it matters a lot to me and also I've been complimented on it. Fic is my love letter to canon and so I tend to focus on what I love about canon the most, which is almost always the characters' interiority and/or relationship dynamics. I also think I'm usually fairly good at matching the tone of the original, though admittedly the translation aspect of anime stuff gives me a bit of leeway there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Logistics. I will forget who I put in a room over a certain number of characters, and explaining how people get to and from things (or even appear in a scene) is a terrible chore. (And that's just people—my track record for items, especially furniture, is even worse.) I suspect that my overall pacing also suffers from this because coming up for practical reasons for scenes to start can be difficult.

Also scene transitions, because I write things out of order. :B

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I probably won't, for several reasons. For one, I feel like without a dedicated beta, my errors would be immersion-breaking for anyone with high enough Japanese proficiency. Also, on the other side of things, presumably most of my readers wouldn't be able to make the jump from English into Japanese (which is the only other language I'm remotely able to write in), so accessibility would be an issue. That said, I've occasionally tried to factor in what I know about Japanese and "translate" (at least a bit) to adjust how I write dialogue, when writing fics based on anime.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who/Twilight, lol. (I cared a lot about them both, okay? Also I thought trying to mash up their canonical vampire mythologies would be funny! And I was definitely right about at least one of those things.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh this is also mean. It's gotta be Chasing Silver, Chasing Gold though. It kicked my ass but I also put my heart and soul into it, and its length, completion, and the responses I've gotten to it have all combined to profoundly affect how I see myself as a writer. (Which may sound a little suspect, but the thing is, I spent years massively looking up to people who could write longfic, most of all to people that could do so and finish. It meant so so much to be able to join those ranks myself, whether or not I manage to do it again someday.) It genuinely feels like one of the most significant things I've done with my life, and it's something I think I'll always be proud of myself for managing to write through to the end.

Annnd done! I'm gonna tag @octopus--writer just for fun ;)

[yazzydream]

JJK Playlists: Toji | Gojo

Sounds Like A You Problem (Fushiguro Toji playlist)

Time to share my playlist for this trash man. Some manga spoilers.

-> [Spotify Link]

1. UH OH! (feat. BENEE) - Sub Urban

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh You've made a mistake

2. Wish You the Worst - Ryan Mack

Fuck the Zen'in Clan amirite?

Wish you the worst I think you owe me an apology, yeah Ever since I was a little kid, been giving me shit Always calling me a wannabe Saying I'm a loser, I don't have to prove myself to you

3. The Bidding - Tally Hall

Gege Akutami mentioned this in his comments somewhere, the fanbook maybe? but Toji is canonically a sugarbaby who mooches off women. lol

I graduated at the top I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie So if you have a fantasy of being a queen Maybe you should blow a couple bucks on me

4. Toxic - Britney Spears

Seems the type.

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under With a taste of a poison paradise I'm addicted to you Don't you know that you're toxic?

5. bad guy - Billie Eilish

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy Duh

6. Daisy 2.0 (feat. Hatsune Miku) - Ashnikko

Fuck a princess, I'm a king Bow down and kiss on my ring It's gonna hurt, it'll sting Spittin' your blood in the sink I'm crazy, but you like that, I bite back Daisies on your nightstand, never forget it I blossom in the moonlight, screw eyes Glacial with the blue ice, I'm terrifying

7. queen of broken hearts - blackbear

I'm the queen of broken hearts Break you in a thousand parts Used to be a shooting star When did I become so dark? Yeah, you need to chill, girl, don't play me I'm too far gone, you can't save me And I don't care, fucking hate me I popped a pill and I'm faded

8. Dead or Alive (feat. Madalen Duke) - Stileto

My playlist seems to be made up primarily of songs about Toji being a no-good womanizer and flipping off the Zen'in, huh? Anyway, fuck the Zen'in.

So now I'm asking you for one last favor You've got an enemy inside your blood Could you just take this little parting favor? It's just a little present from my love

9. Brittle Bones Nicky - Rare Americans

Shocking how well these two musical-inclined songs fit Toji. I'm linking the official music video, but the uncensored version is out there. About this guy who just grows up to become a criminal.

You're not gonna push me around (no!) You can't get me down, down, down (down!) Bounce ahead a couple years, king of my peers

10. Brittle Bones Nicky 2 - Rare Americans

Part 2, that guy finds himself in hell but returns to the living.

Thought my story was over, book closed? Think again, we're nowhere close My eyes are open, cheers, we toast I'ma mother fucking ghost (He's a ghost!)

///

I gotta get outta this hell Would you sell your soul to save yourself? I'm not gonna get pushed around I'm not going down, down, down! (down!) I'm not going down!

///

Brittle Bones Nicky He was crafty and tricky Yeah, that son of a bitch was gold! Yeah, that son of a bitch was gold! So, here I am, not quite a man But I always got a game plan I'll ruffle feathers, fuck with folks But you know me, I'm a good bloke

11. Freak - Doja Cat

From Toji POV. Ignore the pronouns as usual. Just know that Toji's a freak.

Freak like me You want a good girl that does bad things (to you) You never been with no one as nasty (as me) Spice up your life, come get a freak Freak like me

12. 12345SEX - UPSAHL

Some call it insane, say, "Baby, you're so vain" But I'm living on overdrive all the time And I like the way you taste, some liquor and a chaser Flavor of forever just for the night

13. Thriving - UPSAHL

Damn if this doesn't describe Toji's life choices.

I just checked my bank account Insufficient funds What the fuck is that all about? I'm barefoot stumbling down the street The hottest mess that you'll ever meet I'm thriving, damn this (la-la-la-la, life is a bitch) Thriving, 'cause I (da-da-da-da-don't give a shit)

14. Notorious - UPSAHL

(Reversed: Opinion, I shove all your) I shove all your opinions to the side I do whatever the fuck I like I'll be in to win it 'til I die

15. IDFWFEELINGS - UPSAHL

Mamaguro was the only woman Toji seems to have loved. Anyone else? Meh.

That's why I don't fuck with feelings anymore Every time they get deep, I just get bored So I'm breaking boys in pieces for the sport Just to lose my mind, I'll just say bye I don't fuck with feelings anymore When I say I want less, they just want more And it feels like I've just felt it all before So I don't fuck with feelings anymore

16. Dick (ft. Doja Cat) - DickStarBoi3

R.I.P. that pussy, ayy

17. Fuck Boy (feat. Kandle) - Apashe

Fuck boy: I didn't know you were crazy To the boarder come chase me I'm gonna break free Oh take off that disguise Show me somethin' real When I look into your eyes

18, The New Knife Game Song - Rusty Cage

A little intermission. Toji was definitely the type to do the knife game for some easy cash when he was younger. Probably even now.

19. Killer - Eminem

Yeah, it's crazy, I'm a (Killer) Made all this money from doin' this (D.A. got that dope) Now count it, five, ten, yeah, fifteen, twenty Twenty-five, thirty, yeah, get the money Throw it in the furnace, yeah, this shit be funny Earn it just to burn it, swag drippin' from me

20. Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar

Yes, the end credits song from Steven Universe. Can't help but think of how Toji felt about Mamaguro.

If I could begin to be Half of what you think of me I could do about anything I could even learn how to love When I see the way you act Wondering when I'm coming back I could do about anything I could even learn how to love Like you I always thought I might be bad Now I’m sure that it's true ‘Cause I think you’re so good And I’m nothing like you

21. I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

Toji really, really, isn't a good guy.

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

22. Insane - Baasik, Black Gryph0n

Another sinner in Hell.

It's my pleasure to introduce to you hell's latest arrival The equal-opportunity killer, Alastor! Hello, it's nice to meet you Oh, can you tell me where I am? I don't know how I got here But I, I think I'm starting to understand I don't belong among the angels And baby, that's just fine with me The things I did up there were high school But now I'm going for my degree Hey Sorry, but you just got in my way I promise honey, I can feel your pain And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit Does that make me insane? Haven't been the same since I expired Doesn't mean that I plan to retire And now I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining fire

23. Trouble - Valerie Broussard

Applicable to a number of JJK boys honestly. But the gambling line specifically made me think Toji.

Dangerously havin' the time of our lives These boys are just poisonous thorns in our sides Startin' fires wherever we go Watching 'em gamble everything they own

///

Trouble coming in the dead of night Trouble making everythin' alright It's in your blood It's in your bones You cannot sleep for [x2]

24. Outrunning Karma - Alec Benjamin

Outrunning karma, that boy He's such a charmer, all the Bugs and their larva, follow Him out to Colorado Ten dozen hearts in a bag Their bodies lying, he'll drag Them down to Colorado A modern desperado

25. You Problem - Cloudy June & emlyn

That one part of the song that kept repeating in my head that the title of this playlist is from. It's just a very Toji thing to say.

That sounds like a you problem

[divinerodentiastudios]

Sixth Door to the Left Episode 1: Rat Hole - transcripts

If you somehow found this post without having listnened, you can do so here or wherever you listen to podcasts.

CW:

Mind control

Apocalyptic Depictions

Loud noises

Depictions of Rats

Cult like Behavior

mentioning of Texas

Death

Starvation

Murder

Stabbings

This episode contains elements that could be sensitive to certain individuals,

including Murder and apocalyptic depictions. See the show notes for additional details

(News Jingle)

NEWS ANCHOR:

Good morning.

It is January 11th, and

City officials just released a

statement on the now infamous so-

called Rat hole. The hole appeared a

few days ago and have since gone

viral. A spokesman for the city said,

been a rat there that was

and I quote, "the hole is nothing

significant. There appears to have

accidentally pave over, and the wear

and tear a street can expect to

[Outside]

undergo simply exposed it." We are

turning to our reporter on location.

REPORTER:

We are now  live

As you can clearly see, the indentation clearly resembles a rat.

at the site of the

hotly debated rat hole.

Let's give it a quick sniff. Yes,

that is definitively a rat-shaped hole. I know that scent well.

There are a lot of

people here, making "the pilgrimage",

let's see what one of them have to

say. Hi, What's your name?

ROBERT:

My name's Robert.

REPORTER:

Robert,

can  you tell me what the

pilgrimage is all about?

ROBERT:

Well, I heard about this weird hole

and I had to check it out. Came

pretty far for it too.

REPORTER:

You're not a native Chicagoan?

ROBERT:

No sir,

came from all the way over in

Texas.

REPORTER:

That's a long trip to see a hole.

ROBERT:

Yes, but I had

a  feeling it'd be

worth it.

REPORTER:

And was it?

ROBERT:

Incredibly so. the Rat Hole has a

certain pull to it, I can't explain

it but I just felt… I had to see

it, you know? Like, my life would not

be the same without it, and now that

religious experience.

I've basked in its glory, I finally

have it all figured out. Almost a

REPORTER:

Thank you for your

time. Back to the

Studio.

NEWS ANCHOR:

Well, the hole certainly is drawing a

crowd this morning. I Think I have to

see it for myself…

PRODUCER:

Hey, where are

Feed cuts out

you  going? You can't

just…

(News Jingle)

Our top story today is that beloved news

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

Good Morning.  it is January 12th.

anchor Jenny here at the station

walked off set yesterday with no

explanation. She's been alleged to

have joined the Rat Hole sect that's

been growing at a alarming rate. More

as this story develops, now over to

(News Jingle)

Mike with the latest in the world of

Sports. Take it away, Mike.

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

Today is January 13th. Panic ensues

as another Rat hole has been

discovered, not far from the

original. The stampeding have claimed

13 lives so far, and the number are

expected to rise as the EMTs are

desperately fighting to get to the

injured parties, but to not much

avail. The police attempted to

establish a quarantine Zone but the

masses have proven too much. Tensions

are high, the Rat Truthists, as they

have asked to be called claim the

[Conference room]

police are interfering with their

religious freedom.

MAYOR:

I have called this press conference

today, January 14th to address the

so-called rat holes. There is no need

to panic, these holes are the results

of paving over them back in the days.

As mayor i have access to the city

records, I can personally verify this

is what happened. We were a very

silly city, and now we have silly

problems. There is no need to think

further about this. Questions? Yeah, you there.

REPORTER:

Thank you Mr. Mayor. What do you have

to say to the masses that are

currently occupying large swaths of the city?

MAYOR:

Okay,  like I said,

there is no need to

think further about this. I'm a firm

believer in religious freedom, and

that is what you're seeing here,

nothing else. Good folks practicing

their religion.

REPORTER:

Mr. Mayor…

MAYOR:

That will be all

(News Jingle)

for today. Thanks

for stopping by.

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

It is January 15th, and We warn

sensitive watchers for the following

segment. The city is completely

overrun with rat worshipers. They

seem to neither eat or sleep, simply

stepping over their fallen comrades.

The police have not only proven

ineffective at crowd control, some

have turned on their colleagues,

dismantling the barricades. We have

locked ourselves inside the studio,

but they could break down the doors

at any moment. The sheer mass of

before. It's spreading.

people… We are getting reports that

there are now many more holes than

The whole city… it smells like rat!

(PSA notice tone)

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

We have just gotten the studio up and

running again. It's been 5 days since

we last broadcast, we've been dealing

with power outages and due to the

sheer mass of people we were not able

to get it fixed until now. I don't

know how many of you are left

watching still, but, we have drone

footage of the original hole. The

followers of the Rat seems to have

left some distance to it, forming a

negative circle where no people are

present. We would ask our reporter

but he is no longer responding. The

city is still at a standstill, and

the mayor remains quiet on the

subject, claiming business as usual.

More as the story develops. In the

meanwhile, evacuate if you can do so

safely, otherwise it is best to avoid

going near the holes. Stay inside,

lock the doors. This has been a

public service announcement.

[Mayors office]

For those that are just joining us, the

followers of the rat are continuing to spread…

MAYOR:

January 21st already?

phone unlocks

Fuck, they

better have something figured out.

dials number

dial tone

dial tone

dial tone

Garbled voice

MAYOR:

Do you have anything for me yet?

MAYOR:

Yes, I  understand the difficulty in the task I'm asking you, but

Garbled voice

you know damn well the consequences for not

performing the ritual.

MAYOR:

Well, figure it out

Garbled voice

damn it. Or its

all our lives.

MAYOR:

That won't matter

Garbled voice

if we don't solve

this. He will emerge soon.

Garbled voice

MAYOR:

He must've told someone.

MAYOR:

Yes I know that's against the rules,

Did he have any… any relatives?

but at this point it's not gonna make

a difference.

Garbled voice

MAYOR:

Well,

solve it, I don't care how. Its

a matter of national security at this

Garbled voice

point. This is what we pay you for.

Any means necessary.

MAYOR:

IF you come up empty we need to try

Hangs up, throws phone

anyway, while we still remain in

control of our minds.

MAYOR:

ARGH! Damn it!

Why did he have to get

himself killed? Can't think of

anything short of a seance to reveal

what the ritual entails.

SECRETARY:

Sir? The media won't

stop asking for

you.

MAYOR:

Ugh. You know our message, everything

is fine, paved over yadda yadda

yadda.

SECRETARY:

They won't be happy sir.

We'll deal with the consequences after all

MAYOR:

I don't  really care right now.

this is over, or we won't reach re-

election anyway.

(PSA notice tone)

SECRETARY

R-right.

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

Dear watchers, the time is 11:45 AM,

and we've just received an urgent

update from the mayor's office. A

going on, but are refusing to tell us

anonymous source just told us that

the mayor knows what is actually

what. We do not have anything

substantial, but the source is

verified as coming from within the

office. The mayor have been dodging

our attempts to communicate ever

since this all started. We shall try

to get a reporter over there, to

expose the truth, whatever it may be.

(PSA notice tone)

Hang in there folks, we will get

through this together.

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

At this moment, our reporter that was

sent out to the Mayor's office have been shot by the

mayors security detail. We do not

know more than that at this time, the

mayor says him being left alone is a

matter of national security and that

anyone attempting to gain access will

This all seems rather extreme. More on this as it develops.

be considered a terrorist and dealt

with accordingly.

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

Are we rolling? Okay. Dateline:

January 21st 2024, 5:43 PM. Our brave

reporter have been trying to get to

the original Rat Hole to see what is

going on with the space the

worshipers seem to have left now.

We'll bring you straight to him.

REPORTER:

We are here, on location at the first

Rat Hole. The worshipers have indeed

left a 15 meter distance to the hole

in a perfect circle. I've been trying

to talk to them but they all refuse

to answer further questions. This has

gone on long enough, with me here I

have some fast-acting cement and I'm

going to fill it up, to hopefully put

an end to this. I have made it to the

very edge of the negative space left,

and I'll just… Well, let's just see what

happens.

REPORTER:

It seems they do not wish to stop us.

Okay, let's do this. Make sure you

get this, as well as some crowd

pouring cement

shots. Okay, I will now begin

pouring.

Crowd gets angry

ANGRY MAN:

Hey, What the fuck is he doing?

REPORTER:

uh oh, they seem angry now. some of

look- uoff.

them have broken the circle and are

now approaching us, and they don't

Oh God. Please, no. I'll do… I'll do any… argh!

Stab, body falls limp

We do not want you interlopers here again.

JENNY:

You see now what happens.

These "journalists" would have us

stop our holy task. Already they have

tried to fill up the Holy site, do

not let them do so. The Rat has

ground starts shaking

spoken to me directly, and it is His

divine will that we

do not allow the media or anyone else-

ground bursts open

[Wilhelm Scream]

RAT GOD:

SILENCE! FOR TOO LONG NOW MY PEACE

HAS BEEN DISTURBED. THIS MOST UNHOLY

PRISON OF CONCRETE CAN HOLD ME NO

LONGER, THIS CRUDE ATTEMPT TO REMOVE

MY IMAGE CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO

CONTINUE. I HAVE MARKED EACH LOCATION

THAT NEEDS TO BE BROKEN WITH MY

Feed cuts out

IMAGE. GO FORTH, DESTROY THIS PLACE

AND LET ME FREE!

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

cries Oh god. Dear watchers, our days may

be short. It's hard to tell, but I

think they murdered another one of

our reporters. It seems… it seems

the city's falling apart from within,

even here at the studio we could feel

the shaking.

PRODUCER:

Look! Over there!

NEWS ANCHOR 2:

Oh, hell. Quick, bring the camera. It

seems… yes, there are Rat Holes

everywhere, and people… people are

beating the concrete with their bare

hands, they are trying to free

NEWS ANCHOR 2 keeps crying

whatever is trapped below our fair

Chicago. It is truly the end.

Rumbling, a lightbulb pops

MAYOR:

What the hell was that?

SECRETARY:

An earthquake?

MAYOR:

no, this feels different. Perhaps…

SECRETARY:

What?

MAYOR:

You… you told them, didn't you?

SECRETARY:

Told who? Told them what?

MAYOR:

The "anonymous source". It was you,

wasn't it? You told the media about

that call.

SECRETARY:

They need to know

what we're dealing

with.

MAYOR:

Tell me, what ARE we dealing with?

SECRETARY:

I…

MAYOR:

You don't know, do you?

MAYOR:

DO YOU?

SECRETARY:

N-no.

MAYOR:

And yet, you helped spread panic.

SECRETARY:

You're not doing

anything to stop

this.

MAYOR:

I am doing everything, EVERYTHING in

my power to prevent THIS very thing.

Your actions may have doomed us all.

SECRETARY:

What are you talking about?

MAYOR:

Guess there's no use denying it

anymore. You were right, we DO know

what is happening. This office have

in secret worked to prevent Him, the

Rat God, from getting free. There's

this ritual that needs to be

performed once every lunar cycle.

This time, we failed to start it in

time, and that's when the holes

started emerging. The thing is, the

knowledge of this ritual is highly

classified. I knew about it, as have

every mayor before me, but only one

individual is allowed to know what to

do.

SECRETARY:

And?

MAYOR:

And he's dead, damn it. he was

murdered. Wrong place at the wrong

time, nothing we could have done. But

now, the secret died with him. I've

been searching day and night for some

document, anything, that can tell us

what the ritual entails, and we got

nothing. But trying to COVER UP the

holes? That's the last thing

anyone

needs.

SECRETARY:

What can we do?

MAYOR:

Nothing. The Rat God will have their

followers break open the ground, they

will free him. Once that happens,

there'll be no stopping His evil

plans, his influence will grow. Even

rumbling continues in the background

now, I can feel him, probing my

consciousness.

(News Jingle 2)

NEWS ANCHOR 3:

Good evening. Today's January 22nd.

As I'm sure you all are aware,

earlier today, something happened to

the city formerly known as Chicago.

There seem to be a large hole in the

city center, and from aerial footage

it appears to be shaped like a rat,

at least 1.2 miles from tail to nose.

We do not know what this means, and

any attempts to reach the city has

been met with silence, and the roads

from the city are occupied by a large

crowd that doesn't let anyone

through. The national Guard has been

dispatched to deal with the

develops…

situation, but have been met with

heavy resistance. More on this as it

Rat Hole was Written and sound designed by Pelle Frid.

Naomi Richards of Morbid Forest was News Anchor and Jenny

Jonny Schwentner of the band 11 to midnight was The Reporter

Clay Clark, recurring KILL FM actor was Robert

Minty Lee of The Serpent Under My Skin, a upcomming audio Drama, was The Producer

Daisy McNamara of the Bloody FM network was News Anchor 2

David Kurze was The Mayor. You can find David on twitter at MrIronVO

My Fröberg was The Secretary

Landon 'Lemon' Whisnant of Audistorium was the angry cultist

Rat God was played by themselves

and Randy Lovings of Stygian Catalyst was News Anchor 3

The Sixth door to the Left Cover was created by Yendysear

The Divine Rodentia Studios Logo was created by Zacharias Frid.

Sound effects was taken from various sources

Special Thanks to Waymon Alexander from The Liminal Lands for being a good friend and for

being instrumental in connecting me with all the wonderful actors in this episode. You’ve

been a wonderful friend to me this past year, and never hesitate to help out when possible.

I also want to thank My Fröberg for being a wonderful fiancee

and for keeping up with my audio drama antics.

And finally, I want to thank Landon 'Lemon' Whisnant, for helping me

solve impossible sound design issues, and for being genuinely funny and supportive

This project is a labor of love and is created on my free time. If you would

consider a one-time donation to my ko-fi that would be greatly appreciated and goes towards

developing the show and future projects. You can do so at ko-fi.com/divinerodentiastudios.

Links to everyone that’s helped create this project can be found on our Tumblr,

link in the show notes, and for all things Divine Rodentia

Studios you can use our linktree in the show notes as well

This has been a production by Divine Rodentia Studios