#THAT MEANS THEY NEED TO ACCEPT THAT SOME MEN CAN BE BORN WITH VAGINAS/HAVE PERIODS/GIVE BIRTH

[autisticlee]

the right/conservatives/transphobes: no one knows what a woman is anymore! but we can always tell! *makes up rules for how to be a woman*

the right/conservatives/transphobes: omg this olympic boxer is now a man! we changed the rules on what a woman is suddenly, just to exclude this specific one we dont like, and this woman is now a man because we decided so!

make it make sense 😭

[spnfanficpond]

June 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - A Male’s Experience of Sex and Fan Fiction Part 1

@manawhaat​ (Mana) and @superfanficnatural​ (Mert) led a lively discussion about what it’s like to have a penis and how we can all improve our writing of the male experience! Shortly after Mert first joined, we asked him if he’d be open to answering frank and personal questions about what it’s like to have a penis, since he was our only (known) member to have one. He was enthusiastic to share his experiences and we are grateful he accepted our invitation! In the time we had, we didn’t come close to answering all of the questions that folks wanted to ask, so we will be continuing this discussion in a future live chat event! (If you have questions you would like to see posed, please either send us an ask or send an IM to one of our admins!) Because the most popular questions were specific to the sexual experience and how it is described in fan fiction, we moved the chat to the softcore-nsfw channel in the discord server. If you are a minor, you might want to check with your parents before reading this, as it is a frank and graphic discussion about sex. A rundown of the chat is below the cut!

Q: Mert, can you tell us a little about yourself and how you got involved with fanfic as a dude?

A: Welp not much to me, just an 18 year old penis-owning male that has been reading fanfic for almost three years. I first found out about fanfic from a friend that suggested it to me and ever since I first started reading, I've been obsessed! I didn't start writing until around early April this year, for I was too nervous, but ended up saying to myself, "You know what? There are no male reader fics on here so I'LL write them." Poof, my blog was born!

Q: In joining the fandom and Tumblr what did you see/feel as far as the fans being mostly female?

A: I'd have to say that I wasn't too surprised, but was a bit underwhelmed. While many female-presenting people seem to be attracted to the actors, first, and the story/content of the show second, the few male fans of the show seem to be the opposite. Although I love the show and all kinds of fans, it would be nice to find some other male-presenting gay fans to gossip with about how attractive the actors are. lol

Q: Have you been in any other fandoms that have had more guys present?

A: To be honest, no. Every fandom that I’ve been in was mostly comprised of female-presenting people.

Q: What’s it like being in a space that’s dominated by so many women?

A: I think that it’s a bit intimidating. I don’t share the exact same experiences as female-presenting people, so it makes bonding a bit harder, if that makes sense?

Q: What kinds of things do you think women in fandom could do to help make men - regardless of sexual preference, already in fandom - feel more welcome? We here in the Pond like to be welcoming to fans of all types of people in all fandom spaces, not just in the Pond. How can we make our space less intimidating?

A: In my experience, it depends on the man in question. Straight men are less likely to want to talk about how attractive the actors are, and more likely to be interested in the mechanics of the show. Gay men are more open to frank discussions about both the show and the actors’ appeal. Basically, just be aware of your audience and how invested in your conversation they seem to be, like you would be with anyone.

Q: Can you describe the sensations behind having a penis, and how it feels during oral sex?

A: Oral sex feels like a warm, heated blanket being wrapped around the penis, depending on how the giver hollows their cheeks or not, Usually, the penis isn’t very sensitive during oral sex, which is why porn is really fake. If the giver uses their tongue, then the stimulation around the tip of the head is what causes pleasure. The head is really the only sensitive part of the penis.

Q: So, emphasis on licking and sucking on the head is key, and deep throating is extra?

A: Playing with the balls, fondling them, or sucking on them is VERY pleasurable. Deep throating is hot, but mostly because of how the back of the throat constricts around the head of the penis. Like I said, playing with the head is the best way to tease. In fact, if it’s a male with a beard doing the giving, rubbing their stubble across the head is EXTREMELY pleasurable.

Q: So, just sucking on the tip alone, like a popsicle or lollipop, would give a man the most pleasure?

A: It is very pleasurable, but not quite enough to bring a man to orgasm. Men jerk from the base when masturbating because of the backwards and forwards motion. Think of it like a gear. The back and forth powers the gear, making the machine begin to work, and eventually leading to orgasm.

Q: The arousal and pleasure need to be built up, then. Sucking and stroking together with some fondling on the side if deep throating isn’t an option?

A: Yes. If you can’t take it to the base, just use your hand for the remaining amount and go back and forth at the same pace as your mouth. Fondling isn’t completely necessary, though it is very pleasurable.

Q: What is one thing you wish more women knew/writers would write about in terms of the male experience?

A: As a reader, it would be nice to have more writers writing about the male experience at all. The majority of writers and readers are women, though, so it makes sense that the majority of stories would be focused on the female experience, so I can’t complain.

For those who are interested in writing more from the male’s point of view, adding more description about how everything feels would be good. For example, when describing the female orgasm and arousal, there are all kinds of metaphors, like the string snapping and fires burning. Those things are representations of the orgasm and that same build up applies to men, too. Then when it finally releases, the feeling of an orgasm cuts off their breathing, even for just a second. We feel it in our toes, and can almost feel the semen transition from the testicles to the penis. Some men like to continue jerking off or thrusting through their orgasm until it becomes too sensitive and some men prefer to stop. Generally, our hips will thrust forward with each shot, but that’s not all the time or every male.

Think of it like breathing. Each shot of ejaculate is so powerful to the man that it's like during those shots, we only have the time to take mini gasps because we are so out of breath (once more, not all the time, and not every man). Pre-ejaculate does not always leak out of our tip; it's basically the equivalence of women getting wet. If we are hard long enough and it is straining, then pre-ejaculate will eventually begin to leak out. Yes, it is also possible for more pre-ejaculate to leak out DURING intercourse, though it is hardly noticeable due to the heavy amounts of wetness everywhere and they all mingle together and yeah. 

Onto the prostate. It is possible for men to orgasm without stimulation to their penis. The stimulation of our prostate for a long period of time can lead to an orgasm, regardless of if they are jerking or not, also kind of like women who can orgasm without clit stimulation (though difficult). 

Q: Do any of the stories you’ve read that women have written come close to the male experience of an orgasm?

A: I haven’t been able to read much M/M fan fiction, but most of them have been written by women, so they aren’t able to go deep into how it feels. All they can describe are the actions taken to get to the climax and what that looks like, which is understandable. But what “pleasure” are they feeling exactly when they orgasm? That is shown in a lot of female experiences and showing it in the man’s experience is one of the focuses I want to address and give answers to with this chat.

Q: Can you describe it for us, then? What are the sensations that happen in orgasm? Is it a whole body shiver? Is it the penis twitching slightly as the orgasm hits?

A: The whole body can convulse just like a woman can, though it’s more of a strong tingle than a whole body rock, depending on how strong the orgasm is. Also, the penis does twitch and swell, and usually when men “flex” their penis, the head grows in size slightly.

Q: How does that tingle spread, and how fast does it spread?

A: Think of the orgasm like the ocean. Wave after wave. When a man is about to orgasm, they know, much like for women. Every stroke gets them closer and they get to a point where they know how many more strokes it will take.

Q: Does the pleasure then spread from the penis out to the rest of the body?

A: It’s actually kind of the opposite. In the beginning, there is a tingle through the whole body. It’s like the nerves in the whole body pulse in the direction of the penis. Then, when it gets released, it’s like a bomb. The nerves in the penis fire off and it slowly spreads back throughout the body.

Q: For some women, it starts in the vagina and radiates outward, but it sounds like for men, it starts outward and radiates to the penis.

A: Yes! And when ejaculation starts, it all reverses back out into the body. (This information is not exactly the same for every single man on earth, but probably pertains to a large percentage. All men are different as all women are different. This is my experience though.)

Q: Does that mean that outside stimulation, like playing with nipples, scratching thighs, etc, would help a man orgasm more quickly as that outside stimulation radiates pleasure toward the penis?

A: Yes. This is why in porn, one person might suck on the neck of the other to add to the influx of pleasure and make the climax feel better. One reason why men love getting their backs scratched up is because that slight pain morphs into pleasure and it helps get closer to orgasm, much like women when their nipples are pinched.

Q: Can we follow up on the breathing thing? Are you physically incapable of breathing during each wave of climax? Or is it more like a winded feeling? Or is it more like the entire brain/body is so overloaded with pleasure that it’s just not on the top of the priority list?

A: It depends on the strength of the orgasm. We can breathe, it’s just not a focus.

Q: Can you pass out?

A: No, but you can be exhausted afterwards and fall asleep.

Q: Do you get blurred vision or anything like that?

A: No blurred vision, but it’s very common to squeeze your eyes shut.

Q: Do sensations change based on the strength of the orgasm?

A: They do.

Q: Is grunting really a thing that happens, or is that just in porn?

A: Yes, grunting can happen. Either it’s so hard that breathing gets cut off, or it’s so pleasurable that you groan or grunt out in pleasure.

Q: Do you come harder if you haven’t done it for a couple of days?

A: Much like some women, the longer we go without orgasm, the easier it is to climax (at least in my case).

This is where we had to stop due to time constraints, so we will be picking this topic back up in a future chat! If you have questions you would like to see posed in a future chat about this topic, you can either send an ask to the Pond, or an IM to any of the admins!

That’s it for this month! Don’t forget to submit your stories and your Angel Fish nominations! Want to know what’s happening in the Pond? Check the Pond Calendar to see what’s coming up! And, as always, if you have questions or suggestions, let us know! You can send us an ask, or send a private message to @manawhaat​ (Mana) or @mrswhozeewhatsis​ (Michelle) anytime!

[indigo-ra]

Transgender Transgressions

So look, I sometimes maybe go on these tirades about how the transgender struggle is a made up problem. And I just want to clarify for anyone who actually reads these posts (absolutely nobody) that I’m not a hateful person. There are people out in the world making arguments against transgenderism just for the sake of winning a debate, but who really don’t give a shit. But I do. I’m going to hurt you with this tough love, but only because you need it. I might make generalizations, but if they don’t apply to you, then you don’t need to be offended. On the other hand, if they do apply to you, take great offense and change your behaviors so that they don’t apply to you.  I don’t hate trans people, but I do hate that they actively make a decision to endure a struggle and whine about it. A person doesn’t have a choice in being born into their race, and *most* of the time, they don’t choose to be gay or lesbian. HOWEVER, when you choose not to accept your outside truth because your id is shrieking for the instant gratification of being “who you are”, beyond the power of clothes and makeup, you’re on some spoiled bitch tantrum, and indulging that will not make you a better person. You will actively put yourself through horomone treatments, physical, mental, and spiritual illness, genital mutilation etc.. and still call for people to be empathetic to a struggle you CHOSE to endure. So you think everyone should be compassionate toward you for a choice you made to do things to yourself so that you could feel better about yourself, and when the outside forces disapprove, you’re back to saying you’re being discriminated against when it had nothing to do with gaining others approval in the first place.  It’s like going to college, choosing a major and then, in your senior year, picking an ELECTIVE class, that’s so fucking hard that it docks your GPA. Why do you opt to be treated like you’re fragile when you CHOSE the HARDEST CLASS? YOU CHOSE IT, but you’re weak, and fragile? I have no empathy for that mindset because it’s SELFISH. Nobody who ever decided they wanted to change genders ever did it with a selfless mindset and if they did, they knew exactly what would come and accepted that as a consequence of their actions. If you’ve recognized that you are selfish and you feel like you have the right to be selfish, then you also have the right to feel like an asshole when somebody calls you “sir” or “ma’am” not to your liking, because your biology was written before you DECIDED to “transition” and its not their fucking job to call you by your preferred pronouns just because you’re having an inner crisis that YOU CHOSE TO PUT ON OUTER DISPLAY. That’s not being insensitive. I’ve been called “sir” and I look nothing like a man, but I didn’t have a fucking meltdown about it because I’m secure in who I am. Changing your outside to match your INSECURE INSIDE won’t fix the innate issues that make a person INSECURE. Cosmetic changes won’t change the code of your DNA or your personality flaws. If you were a bitch before you transitioned, you’ll likely be a bitch after, because regardless of what YOU think, changing your gender and name doesn’t change the person you are, just the face you’re using. I know I’m going hard right now, but if you CHOOSE to live a hard life, you better toughen the fuck up. Women fight and struggle for equal rights and now there are men who are changing the topography of what it means to be a “woman” simply because they want to feel included. You don’t know what it’s like to have a fucking period, but for some reason since you’re allowed to compete against girls now, you feel like you stand for us??? Have several seats “SIR”. On the other hand, women turning into men are going to deal with man problems that will irk the fuck out of them, like when men make  sexist jokes about women or sexual assault-what we like to call “rape culture” but boys are just dumb and laugh at shit like that because that's in their stupid fucking Testosterone-humored nature, and you,  a “man with a vagina” WILL FEEL TRIGGERED AS A WOMAN.  So stop. Just stop. You wanna be trans, that’s fine, but you look like a freak to me. And that’s okay, Just accept that. Once you do, shit will get a lot easier. The gays did it, and their parades with their twinky glitter fairyboys can even make a hard-nosed, steak-and-potatoes, straight Texan man laugh, because they’re okay with letting their freak flags fly. But trying to say I’m transgender and I’m normal, I’m like anybody else, when you’re not and its because you CHOSE not to be, you can fuck right off with that. k? What kind of vanity changes from a male to a female and their sexual preference is females? That’s a head-scratcher for me, and I know that gender Identity and gender preference are not mutually exclusive before you start screaming from your little broken soapbox, but you only got 2 to fucking choose from and you still manage to alienate yourself from the best of both stock options. At the very least you should get out of the habit of being SO adamant about your pronouns to STRANGERS. To people who know you and love you and give a shit about your feelings, whatever. But if you bump into a person at the mall and they say “Oh excuse me sir” take that L, You look like a fucking dude. That’s not a reason to be sad or angry at anybody but yourself for thinking you could leave the house in that outfit without looking like that person you “swear” you are underneath your biology. Not anybody else’s problem, but yours. ALSO, when you reach the end of that magical rainbow you call “transitioning” just call yourself a man or a woman. Saying you’re a “trans-man” or a “trans-woman” invites scrutiny and judgment, and UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY LIKE DRAMA  you shouldn’t be saying that. I already know what you’re gonna say “But I’m proud of blahblah”  If you don’t want the first thing people to think about, when they meet you, is “What’s between your legs?”, you shouldn’t mention it in regular conversation. It’s a way of boasting your ego to slide trans in there by saying “Yeah I look good huh, can you believe I used to be a boy/girl?” See? I told you were an asshole. Check this out: Trans-formation Trans-ition Trans-migrate Trans-mission The prefix “trans” means to change. Whether it’s gears or genders, once it’s completed, the “trans” part is fucking OVER. Do you understand that? A butterfly doesn’t go around saying I’m trans-caterpillar. It was once a caterpillar and it TRANSFORMED into a butterfly. You’re just a woman or a man after. You’re not special, and that’s the real issue, you want special treatment, but you need to check that fucking ego. If you really feel like you’re a real woman or man who’s FINALLY been granted a second chance at life in the body you’ve always wanted, then leave that trans part out, unless you want to be bullied.  Love you. Grow up. Bye.

[youryinandyangflowerchild]

An address I would give If I were to stand in front of all the people that run our government. As a women What gives you a man The right to determine what I do with my own body? You think your doing what's best, right? What is right for me and all other women because the conversation is always the same, right? You think you are protecting us, right? See here is an example of how two sided your control over my body is. I have a razor in one hand. If I were to slit my wrist with it you would be ashamed and wouldn't know what to do. How could I do that? You have to take it away from me right? Because don't hurt yourself it's wrong. And I'm not saying that self harm is right in no means do I mean that nor would I stand idly by when I know it's going on. I've been there. But what I am saying is if you thought all women were using razors like this you would take them away but since they're largely used for personal upkeep and your standard of beauty you don't take them away. You keep them out for anyone with money to buy off the rack. And yes I know some places razors are kept back of shelf but I can go down feminine hygiene and pick up a pack of 6 vibrant colored ones for probably 8 bucks and they don't just keep my pussy bald And if I used them to the less extreme and shaved my head you would still be in uproar. But when a man lays claim to my body without my consent you accept the fact that he is just a boy and his razor teeth shouldn't affect me or you. Because that just what boys do. So you give me a slap in the face and him a sentence less that a what a class 1 felony gets. Or even just months in jail while I would have months of scrutiny and questions of what was I wearing. Was she drinking. What was her part in it other than just the body ciolated. And months of therapy cannot consolidate with the trauma done. When he gets out my wounds are still wide. When I hear he gets out you grant me more fear. But again we are equal right? Cause boys get raped too? 1 and every 6 men will be raped in a lifetime yes. It's true. But they face different stigma because boys want. Sex right so it wasn't really rape then. And boys don't do that to each other of course right?   We are constantly a society of victim shamming. Gender has a role yes. We tell girls to keep it covered carry knifes and make key brass knuckles pretend your in the phone or better yet actually be on the phone. We tell boys. You want sex you should be proud your getting it you should be celebrated. Why are you crying boy boys don't cry. You know yes boys get raped too but your bodies are more valued as your own your sexual appetites are more accepted but we women we are supposed to be pure but not too much else you're a prude but not too trashy else your a slut and don't open your mouth too wide because that makes you a bitch. I read a great book the other day from 2013 and the statistic I read then it was 1 and every 6 for women. I can't imagine how we have progressed from that to 1 and 4. You ask my sisters and I why we are constantly terrified because as the years progress our bodies are becoming less and less our own. You ask the women in the room today if they have ever sexual harrassment or assault has ever happened to them some may raise their hands. Others may not for fear you will pity our sex more than you already do. But almost all of us can probably recall a time. But again to you this problem is something we can't change. So you'll just let us keep getting knocked up with our rapists children because we won't be on birth control if it were up to you and lord knows that a rapist won't have time to put a condom on when he's raping you. And you'll have us live with a monsters baby growing inside us and in some cases share custody and see our rapists every week. But you are the good guys. Our protectors. Because birth control is just useless right? Having a women control her own body of her own will? Wanting to have a period no. That words to dirty for you right.  Having our monthly menstruation on time and not random for the most part. Having less pain is just wrong. But if you had to do it would it be the same. Ask yourself if you felt pain for a week every month would you want to lessen the load? Would you try and change it? Or would we be the ones calling you sluts for it? And about that why is it that my birth control or my health care is harder to get than your little blue happy time pills? Planned parenthood. It is not work of the devil when it saves lives that can't afford it under your care. It doesn't destroy lives it gives them back through dozens of other services cancer screenings and breast examinations included But you want me to go to a doctor and pay a grand for something that can give me that for free. But again. We are equal. And now that I'm done talking you will probably start your speel with little lady or miss some undermining nickname you call me because that's what your father did and his father and his before him and you do it in your mind just because you think it's fine you don't know any different but when I tell yo I it's wrong you think I am just overreacting so that silences the whole conversation because I'm obviously just looking for things to get angry about and start an argument. But do you want to know what makes me angry? When a man tries to tell me that being born with a vagina means he can dictate how I will lead my life and when I get fed up with that he tells me that I live so posh as a women I have it easy what do I have to be so damn made why do I have to nag so much why am I so angry why can't I just smile more. That is what makes me angry that is why I fight. That is why I am constantly changing the conversation to feminism and why we need it. Because you are just not listening. What's worse is I need you to listen to get anything done. I am powerless because of my sex. And you have made this happen. The Greeks had a women the goddess of knowledge and battle. But somehow along the way we were told to leave the battle field because we hit like a girl as if it were a bad thing. We were told to get in the kitchen because our brains couldn't handle knowledge that schooling could give us. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake because no women could be so strong so courageous on her own it had to be witch craft. Frankienstien was written by a women. Medicine and sanitation was forever changed by a women. A women programmed important parts of the computer mechanism that got us to the moon. Amazing art work coined by a man was actually a women all along. Amazing books under anonymous was actually women or sometimes their brothers or husbands because women weren't allowed to publish yet.

You think that lady Macbeth was crazy for what she did controlling a man to kill and gain power and having evil spirits stunt her sex. But at least she had the lady balls to grasp for power At least even. Back then people understood how powerless women really are we still are. 

But now you just stare at me thinking she's just overreacting. 

I’m sick of being speechless while speaking. I’m sick of people explaining how i feel as though they were inside of me already.  So tell me how there is nothing you can do. Due to the cost my healthcare would cost. And how it's unnatural to teach boys not to rape and to teach them about sex so that they don't decide rape is okay. And tell me how I am equal to you. Tell me how 75 cents really isn't a big deal. How that small difference shouldn't mean anything to us because even still we have all the same rights and protections right? Tell me I have not reason to be angry. Do it. I dare you.