#THAT MEANS THEY NEED TO ACCEPT THAT SOME MEN CAN BE BORN WITH VAGINAS/HAVE PERIODS/GIVE BIRTH

[autisticlee]

the right/conservatives/transphobes: no one knows what a woman is anymore! but we can always tell! *makes up rules for how to be a woman*

the right/conservatives/transphobes: omg this olympic boxer is now a man! we changed the rules on what a woman is suddenly, just to exclude this specific one we dont like, and this woman is now a man because we decided so!

make it make sense 😭

[spnfanficpond]

June 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - A Male’s Experience of Sex and Fan Fiction Part 1

@manawhaat​ (Mana) and @superfanficnatural​ (Mert) led a lively discussion about what it’s like to have a penis and how we can all improve our writing of the male experience! Shortly after Mert first joined, we asked him if he’d be open to answering frank and personal questions about what it’s like to have a penis, since he was our only (known) member to have one. He was enthusiastic to share his experiences and we are grateful he accepted our invitation! In the time we had, we didn’t come close to answering all of the questions that folks wanted to ask, so we will be continuing this discussion in a future live chat event! (If you have questions you would like to see posed, please either send us an ask or send an IM to one of our admins!) Because the most popular questions were specific to the sexual experience and how it is described in fan fiction, we moved the chat to the softcore-nsfw channel in the discord server. If you are a minor, you might want to check with your parents before reading this, as it is a frank and graphic discussion about sex. A rundown of the chat is below the cut!

Q: Mert, can you tell us a little about yourself and how you got involved with fanfic as a dude?

A: Welp not much to me, just an 18 year old penis-owning male that has been reading fanfic for almost three years. I first found out about fanfic from a friend that suggested it to me and ever since I first started reading, I've been obsessed! I didn't start writing until around early April this year, for I was too nervous, but ended up saying to myself, "You know what? There are no male reader fics on here so I'LL write them." Poof, my blog was born!

Q: In joining the fandom and Tumblr what did you see/feel as far as the fans being mostly female?

A: I'd have to say that I wasn't too surprised, but was a bit underwhelmed. While many female-presenting people seem to be attracted to the actors, first, and the story/content of the show second, the few male fans of the show seem to be the opposite. Although I love the show and all kinds of fans, it would be nice to find some other male-presenting gay fans to gossip with about how attractive the actors are. lol

Q: Have you been in any other fandoms that have had more guys present?

A: To be honest, no. Every fandom that I’ve been in was mostly comprised of female-presenting people.

Q: What’s it like being in a space that’s dominated by so many women?

A: I think that it’s a bit intimidating. I don’t share the exact same experiences as female-presenting people, so it makes bonding a bit harder, if that makes sense?

Q: What kinds of things do you think women in fandom could do to help make men - regardless of sexual preference, already in fandom - feel more welcome? We here in the Pond like to be welcoming to fans of all types of people in all fandom spaces, not just in the Pond. How can we make our space less intimidating?

A: In my experience, it depends on the man in question. Straight men are less likely to want to talk about how attractive the actors are, and more likely to be interested in the mechanics of the show. Gay men are more open to frank discussions about both the show and the actors’ appeal. Basically, just be aware of your audience and how invested in your conversation they seem to be, like you would be with anyone.

Q: Can you describe the sensations behind having a penis, and how it feels during oral sex?

A: Oral sex feels like a warm, heated blanket being wrapped around the penis, depending on how the giver hollows their cheeks or not, Usually, the penis isn’t very sensitive during oral sex, which is why porn is really fake. If the giver uses their tongue, then the stimulation around the tip of the head is what causes pleasure. The head is really the only sensitive part of the penis.

Q: So, emphasis on licking and sucking on the head is key, and deep throating is extra?

A: Playing with the balls, fondling them, or sucking on them is VERY pleasurable. Deep throating is hot, but mostly because of how the back of the throat constricts around the head of the penis. Like I said, playing with the head is the best way to tease. In fact, if it’s a male with a beard doing the giving, rubbing their stubble across the head is EXTREMELY pleasurable.

Q: So, just sucking on the tip alone, like a popsicle or lollipop, would give a man the most pleasure?

A: It is very pleasurable, but not quite enough to bring a man to orgasm. Men jerk from the base when masturbating because of the backwards and forwards motion. Think of it like a gear. The back and forth powers the gear, making the machine begin to work, and eventually leading to orgasm.

Q: The arousal and pleasure need to be built up, then. Sucking and stroking together with some fondling on the side if deep throating isn’t an option?

A: Yes. If you can’t take it to the base, just use your hand for the remaining amount and go back and forth at the same pace as your mouth. Fondling isn’t completely necessary, though it is very pleasurable.

Q: What is one thing you wish more women knew/writers would write about in terms of the male experience?

A: As a reader, it would be nice to have more writers writing about the male experience at all. The majority of writers and readers are women, though, so it makes sense that the majority of stories would be focused on the female experience, so I can’t complain.

For those who are interested in writing more from the male’s point of view, adding more description about how everything feels would be good. For example, when describing the female orgasm and arousal, there are all kinds of metaphors, like the string snapping and fires burning. Those things are representations of the orgasm and that same build up applies to men, too. Then when it finally releases, the feeling of an orgasm cuts off their breathing, even for just a second. We feel it in our toes, and can almost feel the semen transition from the testicles to the penis. Some men like to continue jerking off or thrusting through their orgasm until it becomes too sensitive and some men prefer to stop. Generally, our hips will thrust forward with each shot, but that’s not all the time or every male.

Think of it like breathing. Each shot of ejaculate is so powerful to the man that it's like during those shots, we only have the time to take mini gasps because we are so out of breath (once more, not all the time, and not every man). Pre-ejaculate does not always leak out of our tip; it's basically the equivalence of women getting wet. If we are hard long enough and it is straining, then pre-ejaculate will eventually begin to leak out. Yes, it is also possible for more pre-ejaculate to leak out DURING intercourse, though it is hardly noticeable due to the heavy amounts of wetness everywhere and they all mingle together and yeah. 

Onto the prostate. It is possible for men to orgasm without stimulation to their penis. The stimulation of our prostate for a long period of time can lead to an orgasm, regardless of if they are jerking or not, also kind of like women who can orgasm without clit stimulation (though difficult). 

Q: Do any of the stories you’ve read that women have written come close to the male experience of an orgasm?

A: I haven’t been able to read much M/M fan fiction, but most of them have been written by women, so they aren’t able to go deep into how it feels. All they can describe are the actions taken to get to the climax and what that looks like, which is understandable. But what “pleasure” are they feeling exactly when they orgasm? That is shown in a lot of female experiences and showing it in the man’s experience is one of the focuses I want to address and give answers to with this chat.

Q: Can you describe it for us, then? What are the sensations that happen in orgasm? Is it a whole body shiver? Is it the penis twitching slightly as the orgasm hits?

A: The whole body can convulse just like a woman can, though it’s more of a strong tingle than a whole body rock, depending on how strong the orgasm is. Also, the penis does twitch and swell, and usually when men “flex” their penis, the head grows in size slightly.

Q: How does that tingle spread, and how fast does it spread?

A: Think of the orgasm like the ocean. Wave after wave. When a man is about to orgasm, they know, much like for women. Every stroke gets them closer and they get to a point where they know how many more strokes it will take.

Q: Does the pleasure then spread from the penis out to the rest of the body?

A: It’s actually kind of the opposite. In the beginning, there is a tingle through the whole body. It’s like the nerves in the whole body pulse in the direction of the penis. Then, when it gets released, it’s like a bomb. The nerves in the penis fire off and it slowly spreads back throughout the body.

Q: For some women, it starts in the vagina and radiates outward, but it sounds like for men, it starts outward and radiates to the penis.

A: Yes! And when ejaculation starts, it all reverses back out into the body. (This information is not exactly the same for every single man on earth, but probably pertains to a large percentage. All men are different as all women are different. This is my experience though.)

Q: Does that mean that outside stimulation, like playing with nipples, scratching thighs, etc, would help a man orgasm more quickly as that outside stimulation radiates pleasure toward the penis?

A: Yes. This is why in porn, one person might suck on the neck of the other to add to the influx of pleasure and make the climax feel better. One reason why men love getting their backs scratched up is because that slight pain morphs into pleasure and it helps get closer to orgasm, much like women when their nipples are pinched.

Q: Can we follow up on the breathing thing? Are you physically incapable of breathing during each wave of climax? Or is it more like a winded feeling? Or is it more like the entire brain/body is so overloaded with pleasure that it’s just not on the top of the priority list?

A: It depends on the strength of the orgasm. We can breathe, it’s just not a focus.

Q: Can you pass out?

A: No, but you can be exhausted afterwards and fall asleep.

Q: Do you get blurred vision or anything like that?

A: No blurred vision, but it’s very common to squeeze your eyes shut.

Q: Do sensations change based on the strength of the orgasm?

A: They do.

Q: Is grunting really a thing that happens, or is that just in porn?

A: Yes, grunting can happen. Either it’s so hard that breathing gets cut off, or it’s so pleasurable that you groan or grunt out in pleasure.

Q: Do you come harder if you haven’t done it for a couple of days?

A: Much like some women, the longer we go without orgasm, the easier it is to climax (at least in my case).

This is where we had to stop due to time constraints, so we will be picking this topic back up in a future chat! If you have questions you would like to see posed in a future chat about this topic, you can either send an ask to the Pond, or an IM to any of the admins!

That’s it for this month! Don’t forget to submit your stories and your Angel Fish nominations! Want to know what’s happening in the Pond? Check the Pond Calendar to see what’s coming up! And, as always, if you have questions or suggestions, let us know! You can send us an ask, or send a private message to @manawhaat​ (Mana) or @mrswhozeewhatsis​ (Michelle) anytime!

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

The number one complaint among men in the FFWPU

▲ The Moon family in August 1991.

If a man thinks he owns his wife’s vagina then he’s a rapist. His wife’s sexual organs are hers and hers alone, to give or not to give according to her own will. And that is why the number one complaint among UC men is that their wives do not want to have sex with them.

RE: Richard Panzer defends Moon on who the owner of a women’s body is … as in, sexual organs, as Moon refers to those women’s body parts.

From the mouth of Sun Myung Moon: “American women think of their organs as belonging to them. As a result, they act freely and do whatever they want with them. This is also the case for the men. But you are only the caretaker of your sexual organ. In other words, the caretakers are passing themselves off as the owners.

I ask the women: When did you meet the owner of your sexual organ? The owner is your husband. And you men: Do yours belong to you? Then what is marriage? Through marriage men and women are to find the owners of their sexual organs…If man and woman are meant to marry among themselves, how can there be gays or lesbians? They will cease to exist. In less than a century, they will be gone in one generation. In light of this, should you get married or not? Why get married? Because this is the way it is, you need to get married. You must absolutely get married.” (162-50, 1987.3.22) CSG 1750-51

Notice in the quote above that Moon never mentions love as a motive for a man and a woman to marry. I think that says everything about the man!

If Moon really believed the statement he made about a woman’s sexual organ belonging to her husband, then why did he put his sexual organ into the sexual organs of married women who joined his church in Korea?

Moon is a sexual thief, just like Lucifer was.

According to Moon, he gave Hak Ja Han’s sexual organ (you know, his penis) to another woman, named Annie Choi – the mother of Sam Park, born in 1966. So, according to his own interpretation of the ownership of a person’s sexual organ, Moon is a thief because he gave to Annie Choi that which he claimed belonged only to his wife, Hak Ja Han, as her personal property.

How do UC members keep making excuses for this messed up megalomaniac? Do members ever stop to listen to their own warped reasoning where Moon is concerned? Do they have any idea how insane their justifications sound to reasonable people who don’t have a dog in any fight to defend Moon?

Do husbands believe their wives, who were given to them by Moon like pieces of property, without love even being a consideration, gave their bodies to them because the wives believed the husbands were the true owners of their bodies? Are the husbands seriously that blind and heartless?

Women in the UC are taught that they cannot have a family without Moon’s permission. They want a family so they let Moon give their bodies to men they don’t know or love.

Moon makes sure men and women of the church are sexually deprived as long as he can – and keeps the prospect of a family from them, dangled like a bait. Members often work hard, channelling their pent up sexual energies into building him an empire. Young-whi Kim explained, in New York a couple of years ago, that is why Moon held back on giving the “Blessing” to members from the mid 1960s onwards.

There is also the pyramid scheme of members not being able to even get matched, and then married – to a total stranger – unless they bring three new recruits (archangels to protect their blessing) into the church.

Then Moon controls the couple’s sex life through the three day ceremony. The first sexual experience of a couple is never forgotten. Moon witnesses the act through the photo of himself that he demands is always in the bedroom. Are the wives firstly ��brides of Christ,” – brides of Moon? Moon told one husband “She belongs to me.” Three in the bed? Sex in the UC is always under the shadow of Moon.

Members are taught to believe the act of sex will get them in on God’s good side, and hopefully into heaven itself. It is about ritual and duty … and the “cleansing of original sin”.

I know that the majority of the women in the UC are not married to the man they love, but to the man they were conned into marrying. I know way too many “sisters” in the church for whom sex is not something they want because it is devoid of real love. I know way too many children in the UC who were not conceived in the love between a real husband and a real wife.

Some couples have grown to love each other, but they are in the minority. Duty and fear of losing the “salvation” Moon offered, and fear of damnation in the spirit world, can be strong factors in keeping couples together who would otherwise divorce.

Other couples have decided to stay together, sometimes for the love of their children, although they would never have chosen each other.

Then the UC seeks to gain and maintain control over the “blessed children” encouraging them to go to church and workshops, where they are taught to fear “falling” and any thoughts of sex. The children are often told that their own parents failed – and that they should only respect “True Parents”. The UC wants them as the next generation of witnessers and fundraisers to sustain their Korean empire.

Moon said to second generation members in Korea in the mid 1990s: “Your parents are like used tampons”.

This was translated into English as: “Your parents have not completely fulfilled”.

Nice, real nice.

[expanded from a post on WIOTM.]

_______________________________________

Linda Feher wrote this a year or two ago:

I myself remember laughing with all the women in attendance at East Garden one morning when SMM asked us who we loved more, him or our own husbands. We all laughed and screamed “YOU FATHER!” Then he told us it was our job to bring our husbands money to him. He said we women were responsible to bring back to him –  “the True Adam” – God’s money. He said we were like heavenly thieves for God because we had our hands firmly on our husbands wallets and that as Eve it was our responsibility to bring what belonged to God back to God … meaning HIMSELF.

… Isn’t it more of an Archangel type personality to want all the women to love you more then they love their own husbands. Isn’t it more Archangelic to demand that the women who love you more than they love their own husbands bring their husband’s money to you? …

After I wrote [an earlier] piece about the nature of an Archangel, meaning Moon, I couldn’t help but wonder if all you men out there really think the purpose of the messiah is to emasculate all of you. Bow to Moon. Let him tell you how to live. Let him tell you have no right to fall in love of your own free will. Let him tell you who to love, who to make a family with – who to have sex with. Let him tell your wives to leave you so that they can do his bidding. Remember the three years separation period and then the 40 days separation period, and then how to have sex the first three times? Remember all the mission demands, like IOWC where all the wives had to leave their husbands and even their children for three years? Let him tell your wives to take your money and give it to him?

Really if any other man was doing such things and you saw it from the outside in, instead of the inside out, what in God’s name would you think of this kind of crap? Really? Do you think so very little of yourselves that you actually enjoy handing over your balls at the door when you joined the UC? Cain and Abel? Moon is Abel and all other men of the world are Cain? It totally emasculating.

Isn’t emasculation what the Archangel did to Adam in the garden?

In your hearts you know it is.

My husband is a man in his own right. He never accepted the emasculation of Moon and his church. He was always considered a real Cain because he wouldn’t conform. And that got him the respect of your [former] LLM minister, In Jin Moon. That’s real world stuff, that’s not some UC sycophantic wishful thinking where you worship the Moons and they treat you like servants. The men who are the worst sycophants are the ones who manoeuvre into Abel/leadership positions so they can then emasculate the Cains under them, just like Moon did to them.

You may think Jesus is the wimp and Moon is the True Adam. But one of them gave his life for mankind and the other does nothing but take and take and take.

Example: The Moon’s are Billionaires. You know that. So why couldn’t they pay for the 40 year celebration party in the US when all the old members were the honorees? Why did members have to pay for such an honorary party? Celebrating 40 years of sacrificial service – and the rich Moons couldn’t foot the bill? Why in God’s name didn’t they? They’re takers. Always have been, always will be. One Adam gives, the other takes away. One of them is really a wolf in sheep’s clothing. One of them is actually archangelic in nature. You decide who you really want to emulate.

_______________________________________

Richard Barlow wrote: “We have to kick Moon out of our beds (wives should not regard their husbands as pathetic ‘restored archangels’ or poor substitutes for the ultimate ‘alpha male’, the ‘universal bridegroom’ who thought all women in the world rightfully belonged to him).”

Karen Alleyne Taylor: “Richard, I’ve had personal experience that confirms exactly what you say. Three months after Steve and I were matched, one week before the wedding at Madison Square Garden, we were both sitting in front of Mr Moon as he launched into what would be a 12 hour speech marathon in his mansion home of East Garden.

Both Steve and I were present earlier that morning at Belvedere when Mr Moon confessed an incident that occurred while receiving a massage from widowed 36 couple wife Mrs Lee, following a long day of tuna fishing in Gloucester earlier that year. He told the crowd at Belvedere he had dozed off and thinking he was in bed with Hak reached up to fondle her breasts. The next morning, both he and Hak Ja Han apologised to Mrs Lee for that innocent mistake. “Oh, Father, I was massaging your arm, it was a reflex action!” Ho, ho ho. All of us gullible, starry eyed kids laughed in shock at our idol, and loved his humble honesty. He told us he had a pure mind that did not regard women as sexual conquests.

Only a short time later at East Garden he began a 12 hour speech/meeting with Ocean Church members and American CARP leaders by comparing Koreans, Japanese and Americans to parts of the body. He then continued and recalled his confession at Belvedere, assuring us of his mighty powers of self control and his pure mind completely free of sexual thoughts towards women. I was sitting right at his feet, as I had been the week before at the rented home in Provincetown when he spoke to many newly wedded Ocean Church couples at the conclusion of the tuna season. He knew me from touring the Good Go boat factory in Long Island City where I was a small parts fabricator and gelcoater. He knew me from a surprise visit he made to Master Marine members following the Reagan election when he played with my hair and suddenly yanked me by my jacket until our noses touched. Perhaps this is why he felt comfortable to do what he did next.

Suddenly, as quick as lightning, he reached down and cupped my right breast, giving it a good squeeze, as if he was testing a ripe piece of fruit. I remember feeling as if time was frozen, and so many thoughts rushed into my mind. Finally, I thought he was just stirring up the stuffed shirts again, I knew he had a good sense of humor and I thought, what a joke. I saw the faces of shock, and eyes popping out and I laughed.

He looked over to Steve, who sat only a short distance away and said to him in English, “She belongs to me first”. He looked pointedly at him while Bo Hi Pak translated, “if you don’t like it you can leave the room”. Steve shook his head and said, “It’s ok, Father” or words to that effect. Over the years I wondered what that was all about, I wanted to understand the significance. Now I do understand, the reality has been unlocked for me, thanks to courageous women like Nansook Hong and Annie Choi.

Richard, you wrote, “And there is yet more stuff to come out about the Rev which has been held back for legal reasons, but which, if and when it emerges, will shock even those whose faith has remained intact despite all the previous revelations.”

I look forward to that stuff. I prefer to hear the bitter truth rather than embrace seductive lies.”

_____________________________________

The Fall of the House of Moon – New Republic

Sun Myung Moon’s secret love child – Mother Jones

Sam Park reveals Moon’s hidden history

The six ‘wives’ of Sun Myung Moon

Kim Myung-hee, the third wife of Sun Myung Moon

[aamorianna]

Me: Gender Neutral language is dehumanizing and does not translate to non-english speakers. Even women and girls who struggle with English know basic words like man or women. Immigrant women and women of color are not collateral damage because you have a problem dealing with the fact you were born female.

You: we need to make the language more iNcLuSiVe we are being denied Healthcare. YoU wAnT mE dEaD

Me: Not being able to afford Healthcare and be denied Healthcare is 2 very different things. No where did I say I wanted u dead. For fucks sake.

You: I changed my birth certificate to male & all other medical documents to male. And since then I can't get the birth control I need because my insurance will not cover it.

Me: well that is the problem. IF GENDER AND SEX ARE 2 DIFFERENT THINGS?

Then why did you change your medical documents that deal with SEX not gender. Medicine does not treat your pronouns or gender identity.

Medicine treats the characteristics of your body that is related to the female sex. Meaning birth control, pap smears are for female people.

Uterus, vagina, ovaries, etc are all female characteristics. Even a body that is on testerone or has top surgery is still a female body.

If you are male? Then why do males need a pap smear or birth control?

When they could just wear a condom. If you are male then why do u need Gynecological care.

Key word being Gyn=FEMALE.

The Doctors and your insurance company are validating your identity.

A male body does not need a pap smear, gets periods, or uses birth control. Males have a penis.

Trans men are FEMALE to MALE.

Not male to male because in the words of trans people. You argue that gender and sex are separate?

If you are already male? Then why are u using the word trans? What is the point of transitioning?

Or are u conflating gender and sex?

Come to terms with your sexed body and sexed based Healthcare you need.

Accept yourself. You identify as a man does not make u one.

Otherwise you would not need birth control or routine checkups for pap smears to check for cervical cancer. Or even testerone

Male bodies have a penis and produce sperm.

You bleed and need birth control and testerone to regulate and stop it. Come to terms with what your body is. The limitations it has and the sexed kind of Healthcare it needs. Because otherwise the wrong kind dosage given to you by the Doctor that an actual male body could handle may kill you because u are technically female.

You got what you want. You wanted to be a male. So now you are being treated as one.

And males don't need Gynecological care.

Or do you recognize you are female and identify as a trans man and need to change your birth certificate back to female so u can get the Gynecological care your body needs.

All female people regardless how they identify are entitled to Gynecological care.

You may not be able to afford it. But you can not be denied treatment. Doctors won't turn you away if you explain u identify as a trans man and your insurance will give u birth control. Because you are still Female.

If you truly care about yourself come to terms with your female body and the kind of treatment it needs.

I don't want you dead. Grow some metaphorical balls. Your logic just does not make sense. And you are upset that I poked holes in it.

TERFs: Don't make that language gender neutral when we're talking about reproductive health from cervical screenings to abortion! It needs to be known that it's a Women's Only issue!!!

Me: Okay so how am I supposed to get access to that without risking discrimination and being left without that care.

TERFs: Have you tried not being transgender? Maybe we can put that you're trans on your everyday ID because that certainly won't cause any issues.

Me: Yeah no that's not going to work and expose me and other trans people like me more for discrimination and harm. The fact that this isn't obvious to you shows that you couldn't care less about us and have no clue what it's like to live as us.

TERFs: UGH you only care about Yourself and HATE WOMEN!!!

[indigo-ra]

Transgender Transgressions

So look, I sometimes maybe go on these tirades about how the transgender struggle is a made up problem. And I just want to clarify for anyone who actually reads these posts (absolutely nobody) that I’m not a hateful person. There are people out in the world making arguments against transgenderism just for the sake of winning a debate, but who really don’t give a shit. But I do. I’m going to hurt you with this tough love, but only because you need it. I might make generalizations, but if they don’t apply to you, then you don’t need to be offended. On the other hand, if they do apply to you, take great offense and change your behaviors so that they don’t apply to you.  I don’t hate trans people, but I do hate that they actively make a decision to endure a struggle and whine about it. A person doesn’t have a choice in being born into their race, and *most* of the time, they don’t choose to be gay or lesbian. HOWEVER, when you choose not to accept your outside truth because your id is shrieking for the instant gratification of being “who you are”, beyond the power of clothes and makeup, you’re on some spoiled bitch tantrum, and indulging that will not make you a better person. You will actively put yourself through horomone treatments, physical, mental, and spiritual illness, genital mutilation etc.. and still call for people to be empathetic to a struggle you CHOSE to endure. So you think everyone should be compassionate toward you for a choice you made to do things to yourself so that you could feel better about yourself, and when the outside forces disapprove, you’re back to saying you’re being discriminated against when it had nothing to do with gaining others approval in the first place.  It’s like going to college, choosing a major and then, in your senior year, picking an ELECTIVE class, that’s so fucking hard that it docks your GPA. Why do you opt to be treated like you’re fragile when you CHOSE the HARDEST CLASS? YOU CHOSE IT, but you’re weak, and fragile? I have no empathy for that mindset because it’s SELFISH. Nobody who ever decided they wanted to change genders ever did it with a selfless mindset and if they did, they knew exactly what would come and accepted that as a consequence of their actions. If you’ve recognized that you are selfish and you feel like you have the right to be selfish, then you also have the right to feel like an asshole when somebody calls you “sir” or “ma’am” not to your liking, because your biology was written before you DECIDED to “transition” and its not their fucking job to call you by your preferred pronouns just because you’re having an inner crisis that YOU CHOSE TO PUT ON OUTER DISPLAY. That’s not being insensitive. I’ve been called “sir” and I look nothing like a man, but I didn’t have a fucking meltdown about it because I’m secure in who I am. Changing your outside to match your INSECURE INSIDE won’t fix the innate issues that make a person INSECURE. Cosmetic changes won’t change the code of your DNA or your personality flaws. If you were a bitch before you transitioned, you’ll likely be a bitch after, because regardless of what YOU think, changing your gender and name doesn’t change the person you are, just the face you’re using. I know I’m going hard right now, but if you CHOOSE to live a hard life, you better toughen the fuck up. Women fight and struggle for equal rights and now there are men who are changing the topography of what it means to be a “woman” simply because they want to feel included. You don’t know what it’s like to have a fucking period, but for some reason since you’re allowed to compete against girls now, you feel like you stand for us??? Have several seats “SIR”. On the other hand, women turning into men are going to deal with man problems that will irk the fuck out of them, like when men make  sexist jokes about women or sexual assault-what we like to call “rape culture” but boys are just dumb and laugh at shit like that because that's in their stupid fucking Testosterone-humored nature, and you,  a “man with a vagina” WILL FEEL TRIGGERED AS A WOMAN.  So stop. Just stop. You wanna be trans, that’s fine, but you look like a freak to me. And that’s okay, Just accept that. Once you do, shit will get a lot easier. The gays did it, and their parades with their twinky glitter fairyboys can even make a hard-nosed, steak-and-potatoes, straight Texan man laugh, because they’re okay with letting their freak flags fly. But trying to say I’m transgender and I’m normal, I’m like anybody else, when you’re not and its because you CHOSE not to be, you can fuck right off with that. k? What kind of vanity changes from a male to a female and their sexual preference is females? That’s a head-scratcher for me, and I know that gender Identity and gender preference are not mutually exclusive before you start screaming from your little broken soapbox, but you only got 2 to fucking choose from and you still manage to alienate yourself from the best of both stock options. At the very least you should get out of the habit of being SO adamant about your pronouns to STRANGERS. To people who know you and love you and give a shit about your feelings, whatever. But if you bump into a person at the mall and they say “Oh excuse me sir” take that L, You look like a fucking dude. That’s not a reason to be sad or angry at anybody but yourself for thinking you could leave the house in that outfit without looking like that person you “swear” you are underneath your biology. Not anybody else’s problem, but yours. ALSO, when you reach the end of that magical rainbow you call “transitioning” just call yourself a man or a woman. Saying you’re a “trans-man” or a “trans-woman” invites scrutiny and judgment, and UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY LIKE DRAMA  you shouldn’t be saying that. I already know what you’re gonna say “But I’m proud of blahblah”  If you don’t want the first thing people to think about, when they meet you, is “What’s between your legs?”, you shouldn’t mention it in regular conversation. It’s a way of boasting your ego to slide trans in there by saying “Yeah I look good huh, can you believe I used to be a boy/girl?” See? I told you were an asshole. Check this out: Trans-formation Trans-ition Trans-migrate Trans-mission The prefix “trans” means to change. Whether it’s gears or genders, once it’s completed, the “trans” part is fucking OVER. Do you understand that? A butterfly doesn’t go around saying I’m trans-caterpillar. It was once a caterpillar and it TRANSFORMED into a butterfly. You’re just a woman or a man after. You’re not special, and that’s the real issue, you want special treatment, but you need to check that fucking ego. If you really feel like you’re a real woman or man who’s FINALLY been granted a second chance at life in the body you’ve always wanted, then leave that trans part out, unless you want to be bullied.  Love you. Grow up. Bye.

[thedeadflag]

What are abo fics...?

A/B/O stands for Alpha/Beta/Omega, or Omegaverse for short. It’s a fandom trope created by mashing a whole bunch of smaller tropes together into a big one, built around the famously misunderstood notion that real life wolves operate within a power hierarchy, with the hypermasculine alphas dominating, betas filling the ranks, and the feminine omegas being the submissive breeders. It was created for m/m slash fics in fandoms like Supernatural (and later Teen Wolf), but it’s been carried over to het and f/f fandoms as well.

It implements a lot of rape-fic and bestiality elements, on top of egregiously intense power dynamics along the line of those found in 50SoG (so…not a good handle of power dynamics, essentially) that are essentialized (people are born into them, they can’t escape these inherent dominance/submission dynamics, you’re born dominant or born to submit, and you will always eventually give in to your biological imperative to fulfill your role). And femslash a/b/o is built ona  foundation of transmisogyny, cissexism, compulsory heterosexuality, heteronormativity, sexist gender roles, misogyny,toxic masculinity, and all sorts of other wonderful (read: terrible) influences.

There are the Alphas, who always have penises (cis perisex men and g!p women), though sometimes in the female alpha’s sake, they might have a ‘were-penis’ that emerges when aroused, or during a set time of year like rutting season (when they are, or nearly are incapable of controlling their biological urge to fuck someone relentlessly). who are capital D dominant, who exude a scent that helps tell Omegas how powerful the Alpha is. They also tend to roar, and be violent, aggressive, and usually embody a lot of toxic masculinity. Essentially, they lead, and others submit to them out of nature due to their innate power.

There are Betas, which basically tend to be average everyday people, who might sometimes have better senses. They’re usually unaffected by Omegas, but will cow to Alphas.

There are Omegas, who are cis perisex females, or b!p men. They give birth, and give off scents of their own to signal their heats, which is a period when they are overcome by their desire to be fucked by a powerful alpha, and usually can’t help but submit to the biological urges/their nature. Omegas are nearly all submissive, or if they appear not to be, they nearly always end up giving in to their ‘nature’ and submitting later in a fic to the prime Alpha, becoming what was expected of them, even if just for their significant other/mate. They are generally considered (especially in m/m works) the most inferior of the three classes of people. They are the lowest rung in regards to respect. Originally, at the start of the a/b/o trope, they were also called “bitch males”/”bitch females”

I’ll copy-paste the rundown/criticism @hobbitkaiju gave on A/B/O because it’s much more detailed (user changed names, so I’m not sure how to link to the full actual bit, so I’ll just copy from the word file I ripped the original to way back as reference)

I. TRANS PEOPLE EXIST, REALLY WE DO

I’ve never once seen any A/B/O fic that acknowledges the existence of trans people. Mind you, there’s very little fanfic that acknowledges the existence of trans people anyway, much less does it in a positive and affirming way, so maybe this is just a coincidence. But at least when authors are writing about a gendered/sexual universe that’s like our current one, I can believe that trans people do exist somewhere, even if they’re not characters in that particular story. In A/B/O? Not so much. So it’s like cis authors have gone to the trouble of creating an entire other universe where people like me don’t (and couldn’t) exist. Wow.

A/B/O as a trope is often about the authors asking certain questions and then answering them via fic. Those questions are often as follows: “What if some men could get pregnant? What if some women had cocks and/or a desire to penetrate others?”

Well guess what, cis authors. Some men already can get pregnant, some women do have genitals many people would label ‘cocks’, and some women do want to penetrate others. (Those two groups of women aren’t necessarily the same people, btw.) You didn’t have to invent a fantasy universe where cis men and women could do what trans bodies are already capable of.

But in A/B/O-verse, the bodies are nothing like trans bodies. Nothing at all. So it’s this weird alternate universe in which cis people are using the idea of trans bodies but making them ‘more attractive’ and thus more erotically acceptable to a cis audience.

Wow.

II. TRANSMISOGYNY IS A THING

Let’s take the idea of “female alphas” as an example. In A/B/O-verse, “female alphas” are people who were assigned female at birth, who have curvy bodies and breasts, and who also have ‘functional’ cocks and testes. They can get and sustain erections, ejaculate sperm, and impregnate their partners, and often they want to do all those things.

So basically, “female alphas” are everything that cis people want from the gross fetish porn they make of trans women, but minus everything that cis people don’t like or feel uncomfortable with about trans women. “Female alphas” are “women born women,” having somehow been identified as female from birth despite their penises and testes. “Female alphas” don’t have broad shoulders, defined muscles, facial hair, Adam’s apples, or any of the other physical characteristics for which cis people stigmatize trans women. They never need implants or other surgeries to look that way, so they’re “all natural”–unlike trans women, who are stigmatized for being “unnatural”.

So basically A/B/O involves taking the characteristic cis people find so erotically fascinating/disgusting about trans women and to which trans women are so often reduced–their genitals–and putting them on a cis woman to make them more acceptable. Wow.

And yet I’m somehow supposed to believe that it’s just a coincidence that A/B/O smut perfectly mimics mainstream trans porn, in which real trans women are so often portrayed in ways that don’t reflect the actual behaviors of trans women IRL.

III. BIOLOGICAL BULLSHITTERY (THAT’S ACTUALLY MISOGYNY)

I know it’s always perilous to look too closely at the logic of any particular fandom trope. Many tropes are just meant to be a silly shared joke, and that’s great. It’s a community game we all play together, a shared culture of ideas and happily accepted trends. “Sure, these two characters have to get married as part of a secret mission! Sure, they’ll fall in love by accident! This is totally reasonable!” And that’s fine. It’s sweet, it’s lovely, because it harms no one and is just in good fun.

A/B/O, not so much. It’s a silly trope, yes, based on a completely unfounded notion about how wolf packs function. (I’m not even going to address how ridiculously inaccurate A/B/O is even in referencing wolf behavior, because I’m not a zoologist and I don’t give a shit about that. Wolves don’t care if their sexual lives are misrepresented in erotic fanfic.) But A/B/O says a lot more about how its authors think about gender and sexuality than it does about wolves and pack dynamics.

In most A/B/O, “male omegas” have kind of a cloaca thing going, where they defecate, breed, and give birth via the same orifice. Which, wow, gross. Almost no fanfic ever acknowledges that people poop out of their butts, which, okay sure, it does ruin the mood of fanfic (just like it ruins IRL sex) to get a dick in someone’s butt and realize via doing so that the recipient has to take a dump. Fine, I can accept that fandom doesn’t want to acknowledge poop.

But the fact that “male omegas” don’t have anything resembling a birth canal is significant. In fact, many “male omegas” in fanfiction don’t have anything that could even remotely be mistaken for “female genitals”. (hint: there’s nothing female about that genital shape actually) They certainly never menstruate, even though they’d have to if they were capable of pregnancy! Instead, most “male omegas” also have ‘functional’ external genitals: cocks that get and sustain erections and can be used for penetration, and testes that ejaculate white fluids.

Why would “male omegas” ejaculate white if they don’t produce sperm? Why would they have external testes at all, in fact? It makes far more sense for their testes (if they must have them) to be internal, where they’re protected. The reason testicles are outside of the body at all is so sperm can develop properly at slightly lower than body temperature. And why would “male omegas” need erections if their reproductive “role” is to be impregnated? Come to think of it, why do “male omegas” never develop breast tissue, either? Not even after they give birth and theoretically nurse their own infants!

There are two answers to this, and the answers are: transphobia and misogyny, either singly or together, with a possible bonus of homophobia. Cis fanfic authors either can’t or don’t want to imagine men with breasts and vaginas (transphobia), or they don’t want to write about anything that even remotely resembles what cis people consider a “female” body (misogyny), or they just plain want to write about men having anal sex without having to address real-life gay men’s needs like exogenous lubrication (possible homophobia or just sex-negativity, who even knows at this point it’s so busted). No matter which of those options it is, WOW. JUST WOW.

The end result is that pretty much everybody in A/B/O verses have erection-capable cocks and testes that ejaculate white fluids. Male betas have them! Male alphas have them. Female alphas have them! Male omegas definitely also have them! That means that it’s just two sexes out of six that have anything resembling a vagina? Wow. That’s a pretty disturbing ratio, given that fandom is mostly cis women.

IV. BIOLOGY AIN’T ALWAYS DESTINY

A/B/O as a trope is often about biological imperative. Its primary appeal is basically “I’m helpless because my body wants something so intensely and I have no choice but to go along for the ride.” And I get the appeal of that, really I do. Everybody struggles with disagreeing with their body from time to time, including about sexual desire. It’s fine to write about that as a topic. But A/B/O is different, because it’s also about gender and sexual function.

If the primary thrust of A/B/O as a trope is biological imperative, think about what it implies about trans people. Trans people often want to alter their bodies’ sexual/reproductive capacity in some way, and often engage in sex that doesn’t match the normative narrative for people with their genital shape. Meanwhile, many A/B/O fics are about the overwhelming pleasure, the natural rightness of accepting one’s reproductive role and submitting to that. It’s about people giving in to or being made to give in to their biology. Which, as a trans reader–wow. NOEP

Now, this is not to imply that all trans people are dead set on altering our reproductive capacities, or that all of us use our genitals in ‘unconventional’ ways, because we’re not and we don’t. But a trope that is founded on the idea that everyone should just give in and get fucked as their bodies were ‘intended’ to be fucked? That’s harmful to trans people who do want to change their bodies or have sex in alternative ways. Hell, it’s harmful to cis people who don’t want that either. It’s just harmful to everybody.

So yeah, super super gross and fetishistic and full of compulsory het, misogyny, heteronormativity, cissexism, transphobia, etc. Not a good trope.

[youryinandyangflowerchild]

An address I would give If I were to stand in front of all the people that run our government. As a women What gives you a man The right to determine what I do with my own body? You think your doing what's best, right? What is right for me and all other women because the conversation is always the same, right? You think you are protecting us, right? See here is an example of how two sided your control over my body is. I have a razor in one hand. If I were to slit my wrist with it you would be ashamed and wouldn't know what to do. How could I do that? You have to take it away from me right? Because don't hurt yourself it's wrong. And I'm not saying that self harm is right in no means do I mean that nor would I stand idly by when I know it's going on. I've been there. But what I am saying is if you thought all women were using razors like this you would take them away but since they're largely used for personal upkeep and your standard of beauty you don't take them away. You keep them out for anyone with money to buy off the rack. And yes I know some places razors are kept back of shelf but I can go down feminine hygiene and pick up a pack of 6 vibrant colored ones for probably 8 bucks and they don't just keep my pussy bald And if I used them to the less extreme and shaved my head you would still be in uproar. But when a man lays claim to my body without my consent you accept the fact that he is just a boy and his razor teeth shouldn't affect me or you. Because that just what boys do. So you give me a slap in the face and him a sentence less that a what a class 1 felony gets. Or even just months in jail while I would have months of scrutiny and questions of what was I wearing. Was she drinking. What was her part in it other than just the body ciolated. And months of therapy cannot consolidate with the trauma done. When he gets out my wounds are still wide. When I hear he gets out you grant me more fear. But again we are equal right? Cause boys get raped too? 1 and every 6 men will be raped in a lifetime yes. It's true. But they face different stigma because boys want. Sex right so it wasn't really rape then. And boys don't do that to each other of course right?   We are constantly a society of victim shamming. Gender has a role yes. We tell girls to keep it covered carry knifes and make key brass knuckles pretend your in the phone or better yet actually be on the phone. We tell boys. You want sex you should be proud your getting it you should be celebrated. Why are you crying boy boys don't cry. You know yes boys get raped too but your bodies are more valued as your own your sexual appetites are more accepted but we women we are supposed to be pure but not too much else you're a prude but not too trashy else your a slut and don't open your mouth too wide because that makes you a bitch. I read a great book the other day from 2013 and the statistic I read then it was 1 and every 6 for women. I can't imagine how we have progressed from that to 1 and 4. You ask my sisters and I why we are constantly terrified because as the years progress our bodies are becoming less and less our own. You ask the women in the room today if they have ever sexual harrassment or assault has ever happened to them some may raise their hands. Others may not for fear you will pity our sex more than you already do. But almost all of us can probably recall a time. But again to you this problem is something we can't change. So you'll just let us keep getting knocked up with our rapists children because we won't be on birth control if it were up to you and lord knows that a rapist won't have time to put a condom on when he's raping you. And you'll have us live with a monsters baby growing inside us and in some cases share custody and see our rapists every week. But you are the good guys. Our protectors. Because birth control is just useless right? Having a women control her own body of her own will? Wanting to have a period no. That words to dirty for you right.  Having our monthly menstruation on time and not random for the most part. Having less pain is just wrong. But if you had to do it would it be the same. Ask yourself if you felt pain for a week every month would you want to lessen the load? Would you try and change it? Or would we be the ones calling you sluts for it? And about that why is it that my birth control or my health care is harder to get than your little blue happy time pills? Planned parenthood. It is not work of the devil when it saves lives that can't afford it under your care. It doesn't destroy lives it gives them back through dozens of other services cancer screenings and breast examinations included But you want me to go to a doctor and pay a grand for something that can give me that for free. But again. We are equal. And now that I'm done talking you will probably start your speel with little lady or miss some undermining nickname you call me because that's what your father did and his father and his before him and you do it in your mind just because you think it's fine you don't know any different but when I tell yo I it's wrong you think I am just overreacting so that silences the whole conversation because I'm obviously just looking for things to get angry about and start an argument. But do you want to know what makes me angry? When a man tries to tell me that being born with a vagina means he can dictate how I will lead my life and when I get fed up with that he tells me that I live so posh as a women I have it easy what do I have to be so damn made why do I have to nag so much why am I so angry why can't I just smile more. That is what makes me angry that is why I fight. That is why I am constantly changing the conversation to feminism and why we need it. Because you are just not listening. What's worse is I need you to listen to get anything done. I am powerless because of my sex. And you have made this happen. The Greeks had a women the goddess of knowledge and battle. But somehow along the way we were told to leave the battle field because we hit like a girl as if it were a bad thing. We were told to get in the kitchen because our brains couldn't handle knowledge that schooling could give us. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake because no women could be so strong so courageous on her own it had to be witch craft. Frankienstien was written by a women. Medicine and sanitation was forever changed by a women. A women programmed important parts of the computer mechanism that got us to the moon. Amazing art work coined by a man was actually a women all along. Amazing books under anonymous was actually women or sometimes their brothers or husbands because women weren't allowed to publish yet.

You think that lady Macbeth was crazy for what she did controlling a man to kill and gain power and having evil spirits stunt her sex. But at least she had the lady balls to grasp for power At least even. Back then people understood how powerless women really are we still are. 

But now you just stare at me thinking she's just overreacting. 

I’m sick of being speechless while speaking. I’m sick of people explaining how i feel as though they were inside of me already.  So tell me how there is nothing you can do. Due to the cost my healthcare would cost. And how it's unnatural to teach boys not to rape and to teach them about sex so that they don't decide rape is okay. And tell me how I am equal to you. Tell me how 75 cents really isn't a big deal. How that small difference shouldn't mean anything to us because even still we have all the same rights and protections right? Tell me I have not reason to be angry. Do it. I dare you.