#TALKING ABOUT FICTIONAL ANCESTORS IS FUN TOO HOLY FUCK

[cxnsigliere]

ive been thinkin about king’s entire family a lot bc BOI its a hectic family, on both sides :’) (ok more so on his dad’s side tbh but a little bit on his mom’s side too-) so naturally i decided to sHOW OFF HIS WHOLE FUCKIN FAMILY HERE im not even gonna bother designing any of them bc hell no thatd be so much to do no way jose

and tbh theres probably so much more to his family bUT ANYWAY THEY MAY ALL SEEM NORMAL AT FIRST BUT.. DONT BRING ANY OF THEM TO A FAMILY REUNION-

Garrett Reece Brasher: king’s dad.. we all know this fucker by now- :’)

Clarisse Lionel Valentin D’Aramitz: king’s mom. wE KNOW HER TOO LMAO

Zariah Vivienne-Solenn Brasher: king’s little sister we all know her

Connor Jean-Luc Brasher: king’s little brother we all know him

Casimir Mireille Germaine D’Aramitz: king’s grandpa/clarisse’s dad #1! only the 90s kids remember sinnamon roll grandpa casimir bc i used to rp him lol (well actually i still do its just been like 49549 years-). unlike the rest of the family he knows of king’s faked death and keeps it a secret. he was a bit of a criminal back in his time too, but he wasnt in the mafia or anything, more just a typical troublemaker bUT STILL

Sylvain Océane Manon Rouanet: king’s grandpa/clarisse’s dad #2! like casimir, he was a troublemaker in his time as well. but eventually as the GAYYY couple got older they had a more peaceful life. sadly grandpa sylvain died from old age and king never got to meet him :( grandpa casimir is still sad af from his death rip him

Renaud Marie-Louise Thaïs D’Aramitz: king’s uncle/clarisse’s younger brother! he’s dead as fuck, and he was only around during the time king was still just an infant, so he never really got to meet uncle renaud. clarisse was so affected by his death tho, which may have really contributed to her becoming such a horrible person bc it fucked her up sO MUCH.

Alouette DeLune (who belongs to ninja AYYY we havent talked in forever bUT LISTEN OK I STILL LOVE ALOUETTE!!! SHOUT-OUT TO NINJA I STILL LOVE U!!): ok so she’s renaud’s kid technically but she was adopted at 2 years old after renaud’s death and as such she doesnt even know who the hell renaud even is or anyone in this godforsaken family shes kinda out of the picture here BUT SHE AND KING DONT EVEN KNOW THEYRE TECHNICALLY COUSINS IM LAUGH

Yvette Éloi Clément D’Aramitz-Ellison: king’s aunt/clarisse’s younger sister! shes kinda like that hyper aunt thats always traveling everywhere in the gottdam world and spoiling her sister’s kids. having polycystic ovary syndrome which means she cannot have children of her own, she’s always treated hildred, zariah and connor as if they were her own kids and spoiling the shit out of them by buying them all the stuff they wanted-- as such, the three kids have always loved her. they never got to see her often, however, since she’s always on trips and vacations of some sort. she’s always looked up to her big sister, that is, until clarisse was imprisoned.

Freddie Maxton Ellison: king’s uncle/yvette’s husband/clarrise’s brother-in-law! hes just a dork and a bit of a pushover but also a cinnamon roll ok

Nixon Seamus Ellison: king’s cousin (or.. step-cousin? is that even a term)/yvette’s stepson! so hes not related to king by blood but. nIXON IS A LITTLE SHIT and he and king have never gotten along-- the only times they were ever seen together was when they were screaming at each other or fighting each other. 9 times out of 10 king was the victor of the fight. actually, make that 10 times out of 10, nixon never won at all-

Alma Concetta Pisani-Brasher: king’s grandma/garrett’s mom! she’s a very sassy lady, and yells a LOT, and very smug about every little thing she does bc shes a lil shit, but she means well??? she likes to bake cookies for her grandchildren a lot.

Walker Sebastion Brasher: king’s grandpa/garrett’s dad! of course king mostly gets his passion for swing music from his mom, but a lot of it comes from grandpa walker too! him actually being from those times and all. whenever he and lil teeny tiny hildred saw each other, grandpa walker would play his old swing records for hildred, which really made them bond so much.

Jaxon Oliver Brasher: king’s uncle/garrett’s older brother! he’s uncle jack for short lol. his vc is totally thomas o’malley bc FUCK YOU. hes just The Cool Uncle(tm)

Caroline Elaina Holcomb-Brasher: king’s aunt/garrett’s sister-in-law/jaxon’s wife! her vc is linda from bobs burgers shes literally linda only her accent is probably so much more thicker. then again pretty much fucking everyone on this side of the family has new york accents-

Rebecca Winter Brasher: king’s cousin/jaxon’s daughter! she’s literally a greaser girl and is obsessed with motorcycles.

Edith Marisol Brasher: king’s cousin/rebecca’s little sister! shes probably like 11 and adorable. constantly has an umbrella with her even in sunny weather. also really loves electro swing. her and rebecca argue a lot but they do love each other i sWEAR

Theo Harper Brasher: king’s uncle/garrett’s younger brother! theo is basically that really alcoholic uncle thats never not drunk and forever single and not ready to mingle

Apollina Gelsomina-Ulfa De Bernardi: king’s ancestress from sometime in the 1700s from grandma alma’s family, so king’s great great great (who even knows how many more greats) grandma! she’s so important to many people in the family, well, at least to grandma alma’s family, bc she sailed with her female-only crew to America all the way from Italy! in retrospect grandma alma probably would never be here or in america were it not for apollina, and.. if you really wanna take a broad view of the whole thing: if grandma alma was never in america she would have never met grandpa walker, and then garrett never would have been born, and then king never would have been born. other than all that, however, very little is known about apollina de bernardi... and, perhaps if it weren’t for the fact that apollina was such a badass woman during such times and were a man instead, maybe it wouldn’t be as big of a deal as it really is.

[chanelpirate]

19, 20, 25 please!!

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Aged/immortal/ageless/eldritch/etc aristocrat schemes/fails at scheming while struggling between duty/objectives and Their Feelings/Ignoring Said Feelings while slinking about their domain/palace/etc in sad/horny/yet always stylish dishevelment. From this conflict a story (or ‘story’) arises. Never gets old. Much like said protagonist. (=which, I will remind, doesn’t mean ‘goodie’!)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

—insert obscure image from Ancient Greek plays! —insert obscure reference to Shakespeare! —insert obscure reference to obscure historical event! —have I yelled about German Expressionism lately? —insert obscure reference to modernist poetry! —Insert obscure reference to 16th century Holy Roman Empire realpolitik that I read in a primary source once and thought, damn that was shady, wonder if that was in reference to—my entire fic Renaissance is this. Literally the whole thing. I’d thought about updating it with another chapter just deconstructing all the early 17th century shit-talking, because I really didn’t give the reader much. (it being an ‘outsider glimpse’ sort of situation) It might be good to do, early 17th shit-talking was marvellous, it was a ridiculous time politically. Not that I was ever there! Haha. Imagine!

Anyway, I’m not super in touch with what I have/haven’t written/actually published as fic, but a couple of mainstays do come to mind: every time I make some wry insinuation at how Alexander got all that shit funded, I am absolutely insinuating that Frederick the Great was Alexander’s sugardaddy. That absolutely would have happened were Alexander a real person, oh my god. But Chanel! I hear you declaim! He’s a real ancestor of real people who are really alive today! Oh babes, look up who they’ve supported historically and what parties current members of that family have hitched their horses to. (The 'friendliest' 20th century name I can comfortably put here is Franco. Yeah.) I don’t give a good goddamn if insinuating an 18th century member of that dynasty (who incidentally, was probably the most progressive of that lot since, and he lived 250 years ago) shagged a fictional disaster eldritch monstrosity in a way that was maybe a bit transactional is ‘disrespectful’. You know what’s really disrespectful? Supporting the fash and far-right n*tionalist movements xoxo

I would say I have a fic for this but it’s been stuck at 80% done for about 18 months and my fic to-do list is the real eldritch horror

Also, I can’t even think about the alchemist ménage à trois (Alexander/Agrippa/Weyer) without my brain screaming ‘John the Baptist! Salomé! Strauss! Siri play Dance of the Seven Veils! Alexander snog a decapitated head!'

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

The attention hahaha fml

That moment when the coin drops and the tiny thing that makes a story make internal sense clicks into place. This can take longer than one might expect. After that, everything becomes a gleeful race to the finish where I constantly go ahaha! but you know what would be REALLY fucked up!! ohohoho, but you know what would be even FUNNIER!

I don't know, I just like that whatever I write that doesn't have to have commercial considerations can come from a place of unhinged joy, even (especially?) when the subject matter is dark.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 3

"PRISONERS"

Notes by me

- everytime Jack calls them Kids I discover 3 new emotions

- "we have no idea what this planet could offer!"

"........trees and moss"

- "I have no idea" 💕💞💕

- ok strange distraught man

- beamed!

- I hate it when Jack tries to explain things to people and they just TURN OFF THEIR EARS

- daniels hat hanging off his neck makes it look like a choker 👀 where's his cat ears

- creepy whistling!!! Dont like that!

- I'm laughing they were literally sent to prison

- feet. Omg what. Worst version of Cinderella

- *a prisoner gets obliterated by the vortex and cut off at the feet*

The other prisoners:

- ok violence! Of course Sam is a possession . can I get one fictional show without "realistic sexism" pls. Can I PLEASE get one show PLEASE

- "kids" 💕

- "tealc, look scary and take point"

- this dude who wants to be tealcs friend is so goddamn creepy *nervous laugh*

- leader lady seems really nice. The fuck did she do to get in prison

- Jack taking daniels glasses off and saying that showing weakness is not a good idea in prison 💜 reblog if u agree

- HUGE big brother vibes. Also Jack is acting like hes been in prison before 🤔

- no glasses!Daniel

- "the great circle"

- "the great wave" is actually a really cool name for the vortex thing

- she can give them the power they need but needs something in return?

- WHAT theyre gonna use....a plant?

- woa woa woa someone attacked Daniel and tealc protected him and we didnt get to see it??? Writers, turn on your location I just want to talk

- bodyguard!tealc

- "what are WE in here for?"

"Jay walking"

- Jack just admitted he was in prison once!!! What when where!!!

- ah yes goopy mud! Yummy!

- I wonder what it actually is? It looks a little like light brown brownie batter lol

- alright the leader of sg3 is kinda hot👀

- SG3 is headed to P2A509 and is no longer on the rescue team for sg1 :(

- P3X775 is where the people who sent them to prison are. The Taldor or whatever

- I'm assuming sg1 is not on the same planet as the people who sent them to prison since they went thru a stargate to get there

- hammond is going personally!!

- apparently she tried to help the taldor with a plague and accidently made it worse so they sent her to prison. Tough crowd

- is this hammonds first time going thru the stargate????

- IT IS!!!

- "the things I do for these people" AJDNRIDNDJSBFKDNFN

- daniel when hes sitting on the ground in the dirt. Its the slutty pose for me

- Jack dragging him up by the arm

- they commited suicide and thats so fucked up. And Daniel tried to stop them :(

- every single prisoner in this prison craves violence

- what was that? That hand device she used looked goauldish?

- saved by tealc!!! Bodyguard!tealc

- um when daniels lying unconcious and Sam is stroking his hair 😭😭❤

- meanwhile! I'm having fun with sassy Defense attorney!Hammond

- this Big Voice sounds suspiciously like a machine

- SHE CURED BLINDNESS HOLY moly

- "danny boy" AJDBEISDBDKZNDJDJDK

- wait why are they saying he won the fight? Didnt they see Linea with the hand held thing? She wasnt exactly hiding

- P2A509 ! daniel always with the plan

- "....and this just came to you?"

"No, it came to me while I was suffocating"

- yes! Go meet up with sg3! I want to see the hot Major again 😌

- time for Dirt Soup !

- hahaha Daniel made it to the top of the food chain bc he "won the fight". Its very obvious he didnt but I'm not gonna argue with a bunch of prisoners with an IQ of 3

- using his status so that sg1 can eat first lmfao my boy knows how to play the role💅💅💅💅💅

- tealc giving the dirt soup one look and becoming the human equivalent of the word Nah

- the power of plants!!

- this prisoner is gonna try some shit im calling it now

- it worked !

- LMFAO Daniel could not get out of there fast enough.,,boy was a blur

- did one prisoner get thru?

- daniels glasses resting on his head, holding his hair back ✨

- "this place is so alien"

"I thought so when I first came here. However, over time it has become home"

- its so funny to me when people from other planets call sg1 aliens. Like.....arent your ancestors from earth....that makes you an "alien" too

- exchanging science! Sharing knowledge!! This is what the program is about!!

- "he actually won"

- Jack has bruises on his neck from the fight earlier . I'm looking

- OKAY linea is evil?? Like mega evil? She kills people with plagues??? Its always the sweet old ladies you have to watch out for isnt it

- shit is she downloading all the stargate info? All the addresses they have?

- how in the goddamn fuck does she know how to work computers btw??? She literally locked them out of their own system and she doesnt even know what atoms are??? I'm so confused

- "we let her out"

"The destroyer of worlds"

- I really hope we see her again. This seems like an interesting storyline

~

Whump under the cut

Team sg1 whump: thrown through the gate, prisoners

Jack Oniell whump : grabbed , choked, fought, bruises on neck from rope

Daniel jackson whump: thrown from gate, heavy breathing, threatened, grabbed from behind, squeezed, choked, passed out, unconscious , weak, disoriented

No glasses!Daniel for more than half the episode🤓

🎶listening to Locked Up by Akon🎶

🎶listening to Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago 🎶

[kinkymagnus]

The Pain In Your Eyes

hey wow this is from FIVE YEARS AGO (exaggeration but is it? really? why don’t i ever do anything) but this is like the “send me a title and i’ll tell you what kind of fic i’d write for it” 

ok so

uhh this is like, mostly tangentially related but look,  i couldn’t think of anything (hence why i took so long to answer lkghjfgh im sorry) but for some reason i’m really feeling TWI MAGIC REVEAL, BABEY!

(this got….WOO. incredibly long)

so okay! okay! how does alec find out his boyfriend is secretly a 400+ year old  warlock with cat eyes and magic powers? there are lots of ways. i’m personally fond of “magnus is still getting used to having his magic back so he’s actually Extremely Not Subtle and alec like. kinda guessed there was something paranormal going on but his magical boyfriend was too nervous to tell him yet so he was patiently waiting and when magnus finally nervously blurts out the truth alec is like “warlock, huh? sweet” and magnus is like????????? im a Monster???? half demon?? i have inhuman powers and eyes that show my monstrous heritage??? i have been keeping this huge secret from you and i didn’t trust you and it’s horrible and awful and life changing and i’m IMMORTAL and im part DEMON and why aren’t you YELLING AT ME? and alec’s like i have an adorable half-demon bf this is hella sweet. your eyes are beautiful and your magic is not subtle babe. im not gonna yell at you for being like, scared of telling me, it’s cool. also about the immortality thing: talked to your clearly magical friend with the horns, and im FOR SURE chugging an immortality potion at our wedding. and magnus is like (happy but shocked) WEDDING? this is like five consecutive bitch slaps for him, except instead of bitch slaps they’re deep and loving kisses. 

BUT. this is an angsty prompt, let’s be real. not that that has zero angst potential, but to focus more on pain in eyes…. mmm… >:) so REWIND

magnus has been keeping his magic a secret. possibly even to his own detriment, like he still doesn’t have super great control but he’s like, TIGHTLY lashing that shit down because ALEC CAN’T SEE HE CAN’T HE CAN’T and it’s like. hurting his recovery from being dormant for so long, but as long as it gets him more time with alec :))) he hardly cares :)))) 

BUT. but but but. ok look im so tempted with “magnus accidentally shows off his cat eyes during sex” but SERIOUS. SERIOUS. ANGSTY. SERIOUS. magnus slips up. not during sex, sorry. he slips up. 

oh my god wait i have an idea. a horrible horrible idea

this is so bad i dont even know if i like it but

LET’S TRY IT

oka Y SO magnus has been tightly controlling this shit but he can’t help but slip up sometimes. he can’t help it, okay. it’s mostly minor things. he’s upset and things tremble on the shelves, he’s really happy and the plants literally perk up and he looks kinda like he’s glowing. sometimes things move closer to him when he needs them–usually not super obviously, but alec’s still kind of like wait wasn’t that over there a second ago? 

and he’s trying his best but he doesn’t catch everything, doesn’t even always notice because it feels so natural. he sips coffee that should be boiling hot only it’s just right and he isn’t burned. (alec brings him some really fresh coffee and he tries to warn magnus before he picks it up but before he can yell it’s in magnus’s hands and he’s taking a sip and–he’s fine. not burned at all. and he looks at alec with that adorable little confused look, brow furrowed and head slightly tipped to the side, and alec doesn’t know quite what to say because that had definitely been too hot for human consumption earlier…)

and every once in a while alec swears his eyes like. flash, or something? they look… different. it’s hard to explain, magnus always turns around or closes his eyes or SOMETHING but like. just for a second alec swears they looked brilliant gold. 

and his fortune telling abilities are like. good. weirdly good. like, he’s never wrong, good. and he knows things he shouldn’t, and he makes weird offhand comments that don’t make sense sometimes before getting flustered and glossing over them, and sometimes he acts like he’s been around for like. a LONG time. IT’S WEIRD.

anyway so it’s just little things. just enough to drive magnus into “slightly eerie” territory. alec’s not like, scared of him or anything, but he’s kind of like. is something……..up? 

and alright this next bit is where it gets a bit hazy but i’m thinking for like. whatever reason. maybe alec’s not the only one who’s noticed, maybe some other people have too, maybe jace if we want to pull him here and make him a douchebag (kind of hard, though–not the douche thing, but like, he’s literally not friends with alec in TWI, so… i mean, thank god, but. hard to get him in, then. maybe through clary? idk.) but anYWAY the point is 

fucking jonathan gets involved. i wanted to make valentine the crazy preacher but he’s already got a role in TWI and jonathan’s a crazy shitbag in every universe, let’s be real. and jonathan is like THIS SOUNDS LIKE DEMONIC POSSESSION TO ME. THINGS MOVING AROUND? STRANGE EYES? WEIRD PAST? KNOWING THINGS HE SHOULDN’T? NEVER GETS BURNED? SEEMS OLD? CAN DIVINE THE FUTURE? SOUNDS DEMONIC TO ME, BABY. 

and alec is like whoa hold on. wait. but jonathan, manipulative fuck that he is, is like. all smooth talkin. like hey, aren’t you worried about your boyfriend? what if he’s hurt? what if this is hurting him and you’re doing nothing to stop it? what if we can save him? 

it doesn’t help that magnus has been acting weirdly lately (read: worried alec might be onto him since ALEC’S been acting weird, and psyching himself up to TELL ALEC THE TRUTH) and alec. doesn’t know what to do. 

but ultimately he’s convinced when he overhears/sees magnus meeting up with his friend. which is ragnor portalling into his home, horns and all, and them talking in hushed panicked whispers. and alec’s like “oh fuck what a demon is possessing my boyfriend” 

he’s heard family legends their ancestors were demon hunters, but unfortunately not much about warlocks and the like so he doesn’t make the connection, he just thinks “oh shit, the legends were true, and i of all people ironically am dating someone being messed with by a demon. well, I’M THE BEST PERSON TO SAVE HIM THEN.” 

ok i wanna be clear alec wouldn’t like. take this far and actually hurt magnus, ever. like he’s not about to tie him up and carve symbols into his chest or something. he’s just mundane and worried and unsure what the fuck to do and manipulative evil little bitch jonathan is taking advantage. 

and honestly i’m not sure how far to take this either, the image i have is magnus like. tied up in a pentagram and jonathan about to be a crazy bitch and alec being like “oh fuck this this is NOT what i signed up for” bonus if he was worried about magnus being possessed for realsies but then he sees magnus’s cat eyes and they’re like. too. him. they’re full of pain and fear and this kind of resignation and alec is like no that’s no fucking demon, that’s the man i love, or maybe it’s both, maybe he is the demon, but i don’t care because magnus is a demon then i guess demons are good because magnus and evil don’t go together EVER. 

but like at the same time, the heartbreak/trust shattering that could cause–alec like, trying to “exorcise” him for being a demon? MMM DON’T LIKE THAT. like i’m not looking for a relationship breaker here, just some juicy angst with a happy ending. and i feel like with a lot of careful planning that might work, but i don’t. really want to right now. 

so LIKE. maybe not that far, maybe alec is planning on confronting him and he’s got something dumb like a holy water water pistol (shoutout to ryan bergara, i love you) and salt, but he’s like “idek what i’m gonna do if he ends up being possessed but i sure as hell know i’ll save him if it kills me” but he like. before he can even get the words out. for whatever reason. don’t call me out on not knowing why, maybe he catches magnus by surprise or comes home early, idk. he sees magnus’s eyes. and they’re these gorgeous golden cat eyes. and alec can see the moment magnus realizes alec can see them, his eyes go wide and scared and he looks hurt and a little sick and like he’s already lost something irreplaceable and it hurts that he looks so. there’s so MUCH PAIN IN HIS EYES (aay,, aYYY.,, titteLEE) and also. god his eyes are so pretty. even beginning to tear up they’re so pretty. and alec has so many things he wants to say ranging from i love you and nothing will ever change that to seriously please stop looking heartbroken i need to hug you right now i love you so much to i know what you are–i mean, like, not what as in a thing, but what as in you’re a demon and i know and it’s okay, to wow your eyes are pretty to wow i am dating a demon okay and alec is just like. he just blurts out “holy shit you’re beautiful” and that’s all because with the “reassure magnus he is loved!!!” and “MAGNUS IS HURTING RED ALERT” and “So Your Boyfriend’s A Demon” feelings going on, Gay™ just overrides all the panic 

like he’s forgotten about the holy water and the salt he’s just like. oh my god. pretty. sexy. wonderful. and absolutely for-sure magnus and nothing else. so again there’s just that fun thought process of “does this mean my boyfriend IS the demon because that’s not a demon, that’s magnus” to “ok sweet im dating a cute ass demon” to “demons are good now i guess? or at least mine is? that’s neat” 

because like, while demons obviously traditionally get a bad rap, there are plenty of fucking books and tv shows and fiction wherein demons are the good guys, or not so bad, or whatever. so to a non-religious mundane with no concept of real demons as according to shadowhunters canon, “good demon” isn’t necessarily impossible or that hard to accept. 

magnus will probably not take the misunderstanding of being called a demon that well, but he will be thoroughly mystified by the fact that despite thinking he’s a straight-up full-on demon, alec is not upset or horrified but in fact kind of pleased. 

but anyway alec’s like “i’ve figured it out! i’m pretty sure you’re a demon, and that’s why [evidence here], but like, it’s okay! holy water is banned from the house and i know the salt thing is only a particular kind of salt but i swear if it helps, no fucking salt in the house. definitely none of that kind of salt. i originally thought you were possessed but i have burned all exorcism shit and anti demon things i had and i will literally do anything to protect you. should i say oh satan or oh lucifer instead of oh god? that’s fine. just wondering. i will literally give you my soul. i love you” and magnus is like i love you but oh my god oh my god oh my g

(also this doesn’t really fit in but i do have the image of alec squirting magnus with the holy water pistol and it just like. splashes on his face. and magnus is like. [disgruntled blink, nose all scrunched up, Adorable] [gingerly wipes off water] “why” and alec’s like so you’re not a demon, cool. wait, or demons don’t actually react badly to holy water. or you’re hiding it somehow. or my water isn’t holy enough. fuck)  

AN ywa YY. magnus has to explain he isn’t a demon (”oh shit fuck i’m sorry shit did i hurt your feelings goddamn it i can’t believe i jumped to conclusions”) he’s half demon (”okay i wasn’t THAT far off and don’t give me that look i’m not judging you i love you very much and this changes nothing”) and uhhhhhh he’s an immortal warlock with magical powers and the cat eyes are his mark and he has magic and he’s 400 years old and he’s been dormant for a very long time and he’s sorry he lied and didn’t tell alec and he really isn’t evil or anything and please say something, alexander.

and alec is just like “okay this is a lot to take in but ten minutes ago i thought you were just straight-up a demon and was cool with it so you really think i wouldn’t be cool with this?”

anyway like. they just fucking… it’s a little anticlimactic. magnus feels like his feet have been swept out from under him, alec’s just okay with it, other than a minor initial freakout, and that’s… it?

of course, there’s still jonathan. you know what, here’s how to get some drama back into it. alec never really like, actually got close with jonny boy or anything, it was just someone he talked to in passing who was like “ur bf is possessed bro. i can…… exorcise him if u like” and he like. knows about the downworld, but believes they’re all evil demons and bad and he’s the true shadowhunter or something? but he’s just crazy and a horrible person? idk. but anyway he like. shows up again. he might try to cause some drama by being like “ur boyfriend sent me >:) to SEND YOU BACK TO HELL” but it doesn’t work, magnus’s heart aches a little at the thought but he knows it’s not true, you know?

but like jonathan tries to hurt him and magnus is like, fumbling with his magic a bit, still slightly off kilter (especially because he’s still been trying to hide it a lot and stifle it and he’s not quite in sync). but alec like, defends him (because he took self defense classes and like, martial arts and shit, even as a mundane he knows how to pack a punch, you know?) and he gets hurt. jonathan goes after him (why are you supporting this monster? this demon? why are you on his side? …maybe you’re possessed too–) and magnus is like. OH NO. YOU FUCKING. DON’T. and fucking WRECKS him. like full magic avatar state bullshit, he’s like “i will fucking BEAT YOUR ASS, leave alec the FUCK ALONE.” and he basically like. idek portals jonathan to the middle of the sahara or across the world or on a remote island that has resources but no way off? idk what he ends up doing, but it like, takes care of him without necessarily killing him

but like. magnus is super powerful, but using that much magic abruptly after years and years of nothing takes its toll and he passes out. alec, slightly bruised up and maybe a little bloodied but ultimately fine, carries him bridal style (!!!!!!!!!!!) and magnus wakes up in bed, warm and safe and comfy with alec by his side, all patched up and also fine, and cat and ragnor and raphael all there like “hey idiot” bc WHY DIDN’T MAGNUS TELL THEM ABOUT HIS WEIRD NEW MUNDANE BOYFRIEND AND ALL THIS DRAMA THAT WAS HAPPENING? OTHER THAN THE MINOR DETAILS? they’ve been talking with alec and like. they have varying opinions but the general consensus is “he seems to be treating magnus good and he clearly loves magnus, and we like that.”

ANYWAY THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE AND ALEC ASKS QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS MAGIC AND MAGNUS IS COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME AND USES HIS MAGIC OPENLY AND EVENTUALLY ALEC BECOMES IMMORTAL AND THEY GET MARRIED AND IT’S HAPPY YAY

anywaYYYY this got……super fucking long. but the title thing is ujst basically “alec knows magnus is magnus and not Something Else because there’s like. real emotion in his “demon” eyes and he looks scared and pained and it’s SAD and alec’s like “shit yeah this is him and i love him” and that’s the turning point of the story” 

[mistytpednaem]

okay, so i’ve finished the great ace attorney! some overall spoiler-free thoughts before i move on to case-by-case remarks:

it waaaaas a good experience overall, but unless i’m mistaken, this game has the weirdest, if not actually the worst pacing out of the entire series? like, i was warned about plot threads not reaching a conclusion since this game was made with a sequel in mind from the get-go; that’s not what i’m talking about. i’m talking about redundancies in the writing and just... bold decisions in how long certain parts of certain cases go on for, i suppose you could say?

still, as long as you’re prepared for that and are ok with it, it’s still absolutely a worthwhile experience. i mean i love ace attorney so of course i’d say that but still. this game has a really strong cast and i can’t wait for the sequel to get a thorough fan translation as well, so great job and thanks to studio scarlet (EDIT: wait no. it’s scarlet study) for helping people enjoy this game!

OKAY. more specific and spoilery observations under the cut:

case 1: I’m gonna be honest I played a lot of the early bits of this game in bed right before going to sleep so my judgement may not be the best because i was only half-conscious at times w-whoops. this one’s a fine intro case, even if it starts to run a bit long towards the end. great intro to our anxiety boy, hosonaga did not disappoint. obviously, now that i’ve played the game, i can no longer say he was the first de killer... ... he’s just OBVIOUSLY shelly’s actual blood ancestor. like, hello?? the gumption? the dedication to his job??? please do not die of tuberculosis, hosonaga. also asougi’s hair is dumb but his theme is really good and oh no he shares his VA with bruno bucciarati oh no

case 2: i cannot in good conscience dislike this case, which is honestly kind of impressive considering it’s All Investigation. :V but maaaan, it really started dragging towards the end. :( the climax just felt... drawn out and unsatisfying, unfortunately, and i feel like that’s a symptom of this game’s format being so different from all the rest - there’s a much larger focus on telling a long, overarching story. and that’s not necessarily wrong, and i appreciate them trying out something new,  but... if it’s not broke... i’m honestly surprised by how much i liked sherlock, haha. i mean susato is also great but i was just not expecting to be so amused by holmes?? what a great take on the character. also the Deduction bits may not be particularly challenging - and, yes, suffer a bit from the game’s overall weird pacing - but honestly i love them. love holmes being a ham,  love naruhodou joining him

case 3: this fucking case shook me to my core. i happened to examine the omnibus close to the end of the first part of the trial, and then close to the start of the second part, which meant the details were still fresh on my mind AND the alarm signs started going way the fuck off in my head from early on. it’s a fun play on the old ace attorney gambit of “oh no our defendant looks shady but surely he must be good” - it adds the conclusion of “oh FUCK NO oh my GOD eat the RICH.” i’m still sad barok’s name wasn’t ultimately romanized as baroque, but alas, that doesn’t detract from my big awful crush on him. i may or may not still blush when i think of him stretching his leggy out and i’m glad his rampant xenophobia seems to be something that might get character development’d out. ALSO the new juror thing is fun too! i really like all (... or most) of the new mechanics in this game. shame most of the jurors don’t get names, though, especially since so many of them are so much fun - capcom ripped off my oc and didn’t even give him a proper name?? no dignity OH YEAH SPEAKING OF ROMANIZED NAMES: i still think HURT VORTEX is superior but i’ll take hart vortex too

case 4: welp, there’s usually ONE downer in these games and this one’s mine. i’m not even saying it’s objectively bad, but between the fat jokes and the spousal abuse jokes, by the time the truth was becoming clear, i’d reached 2-3 levels of “NO SHUT UP THIS IS STUPID”. shame, because I actually quite like the garridebs’ character designs, and souseki is great fun - you all know i’m a fan of taking real dudes and having fun with them in fiction. it... didn’t help that i got very drowsy during chunks of the whole thing ultimately, i think one of my favourite parts of this case was one that wasn’t connected to the case itself, and that’s not great praise, haha :V;; (”what’s the big deal with the grim reaper anyway we won that trial just fine” “yeah but is megundal alive” “wh-” “IS HE ALIVE, BOY”) ALSO another symptom of the weird, bbbbbold pacing and writing decisions in this game: this one... shakespearean dude who just showed up for two minutes and then fucked off for the rest of the game?? hello??  sir???? what????? WAIT DOUBLE ALSO was this the case where barok just flung his bottle behind his back for the first time because the first time i saw that animation i had to stop and laugh for a second and i love it when these games do that to me

case 5: this case is extremely good because a) the pacing is super fucked (it takes like an hour for a crime to even happen and it gets up to INVESTIGATION 4 before the trial starts, jesus) and i still had fun and b) chekov’s cat flap gun is objectively dumb and i don’t even mind. it bothers me way less than Knife Drop actually so. disclaimer. i’ve thought “egg benedict” was incredibly handsome from the moment i first saw a screenshot of him, so obviously i’m biased, but to no surprise he’s my favourite culprit in this game w-whoops. the ones i wasn’t expecting to ALSO love were the tinpillars, holy shit, what a power trio. i was in fact a little disappointed that rupert (... robert? i’ve seen a couple of different romanizations of his name) was not the long lost third tinpillar brother, but then the credits had them pose together and i felt so much joy in my heart (also, extremely unusual for the true culprit of a case to be in the credits, but i’ll take it??? especially for the GROUP POSING i seriously can’t overstate how happy i was)

anyway, these thoughts are a little disjointed, i know, but i always have a little trouble getting my shit together when i’m talking about a game like this, haha ;v; feel free to ask me stuff or just casually hit me up if you wanna chat, though!

“wait, naem! you said you liked ALMOST all of the mechanics in this game! what’s the exception?”

........ well

it’s not so much a matter of not LIKING it, i just

i cannot, for the life of me, get magic eye pictures to work

yes i know how to cross my eyes. yes i have read how to do it multiple times. at this point i’m convinced my eyes are just fucked in some particular way that doesn’t let me Get It

i will never, ever know the unabated joy that case 5′s juror 3 experienced...........