#T. C. Mars Very Private Eye

[tomoleary]

Sergio Aragonés “T. C. Mars, Very Private Eye” Sojourn Magazine Portfolio (1979) Source

Stephen Bissette “Kingdom of the Maggot”

Lee Elias “Kronos”

Dick Giordano “The Smooth”

Joe Kubert “Tor”

John Severin “Eagle”

Doug Wildey “E. V. Race, Private Investigator”

[evielallemxnt]

"There are T W O types of secrets: those we hide from others ─ and those we hide from OURSELVES."

have you seen GENEVIEVE 'EVIE' LALLEMENT strolling around central park at lunchtime? rumor has it they’re actually A HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE years old, but i’m pretty sure they’re only TWENTY. they’re currently posing as a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR at LALLEMENT LAW, but when dusk falls, you can usually find them heading home to MANHATTAN by TOWN CAR. apparently they DID attend the met gala this season! @duskintro

* / CHARACTER INFLUENCES: Jake Peralta ( Brooklyn 99 ) + Veronica Mars ( Veronica Mars ) + Nancy Drew ( Nancy Drew ) + Claudia ( Interview With The Vampire ) + Rebekah Mikaelson ( The Originals )

* / ANTHEMS: PRETTY SAVAGE | YOU MADE A MONSTER | 7 RINGS

*** PENNED BY BRI FOR DUSKFELLHQ ***

FULL NAME: GENEVIEVE "EVIE" LALLEMENT

FACECLAIM: Savannah Lee Smith

AGE: 20 ( estimated @ time of changing ) physically | 135 mentally

SEXUALITY: Lesbian

PRONOUNS: She/her

POSITIVE: Intelligent, charming, loyal, brave.

NEUTRAL: Spontaneous, trustworthy, daring, cocky

NEGATIVE: Impulsive, self-destructive, snide, and Machiavellian.

ELEMENT: Fire.

MBTI TYPE: ENFJ.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutral.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin

AESTHETIC: Breakfast at Tiffany's, fine tailoring, diamonds and pearls and rubies, late-night bubble baths with red sangria, Chanel No.5, bubbly stocked fridge, penthouse parties, drinks @ The Blond, exclusive social club, wigs and disguises, sly smiles, bad decisions, midnight sleuthing, gossiping until dawn, closets filled with Birkins, eyes that hold secrets, smudged lip gloss, devilish temptations

TW: Death, dying, blood

* / BIOGRAPHY: The history of Genevieve Lallement is a tricky one. If you ask her, she became a creature of the night in some whirlwind fashioned tale filled with love, betrayal, and sacrifice -- all the makings of a heart-clenching closed shut story. But the reality? That's much more of a mystery.

Her genesis is one filled with darkness. No memories. No family. No nothing. The only solace coming in the form of her sire -- Cassius. He saved her from a fever that took many in late 19th century England and told her as much as he knew. That he had found her bedridden and sickly in a run-down isolation ward where patients were sent to die more than to be cured. Apparently, she had reminded him of a sister he’d once lost and he acted on an inner impulse to save an innocent. The staff had told him that she had admitted herself under what they proved to be an alias, so there was no way to notify family or even prove she existed.

She was a ghost. Alone in the world. And dying.

So, he gave her new life. Eternal life.

When she’d awakened from the transition, the ripe young vampire found herself unable to remember, well... anything. It was as if the transformation erased everything human about her, wiped her slate clean as she re-entered the world as someone else. Something else. Cassius said that vampirism isn’t a perfected process. There are some ailments that the immortal blood which now ran through her veins can’t heal. By the time he’d found her, her mind had already been overcome with the sickness that was moments away from snuffing her out completely. To drag her back from the depths of near-death, she had to lose some parts of herself along the way. There were some upsides, though. She clung to Cassius like a newborn, and he grew to coddle her as if she were his own. Being inducted into the Lallement family allowed her to see a world that was previously unattainable as a mortal having had come from the dregs of England. He’d brought her to New York at the turn of the century, and it was a sight to behold as she realized…this was HOME.

As the decades passed, the new Lallement glided through life. The adjustment to vampirism wasn’t as hard as it probably was for others. Sure, she had her hiccups, but it was almost as if the lack of memories helped. There was no other way of living for her to remember or to acclimate from. In some ways, there was no true loss. Her new family filled the voids ( even helped her pick out a new name ‘GENEVIEVE” ) showered her with endless love ─ and the bloodlust helped pick up the slack. For a while. As an immortal, it is easy to become distracted by the power, privilege, and play that is now bestowed upon you. But eventually, the semblance of loneliness and eternity creep in. For Evie, it was plaguing thoughts of the unknown that haunted her. Did she have a family when Cas took her away? Did they look for her? Mourn her? Soon all she could think of was the possibility that they somehow survived the plague and managed to continue on. This led her to try to trace their footsteps back to the town Cassius found her in to look for anything, any semblance of a clue that pointed to her previous human existence. Only for Evie to be faced with the harsh reality that the one hospital in town, the very town she’d believed herself to have been raised in, had burned down not long after they’d fled. Along with the patient records. Any possibility of tracing back her roots had been destroyed in a reckless accident and something in Evie c r a c k ed. Never again to be fully healed.

But if anything, she’s a survivor. Evie turned her sadness into something productive, going on to study criminology and criminal justice in the ’70s and '80s, along with a myriad of other majors she probably got too distracted to finish. Evie figured, if she couldn’t figure out the mystery of her own life, then the least she could do is help others figure out the mysteries in theirs. Becoming a private investigator sort of just happened, but it soon became her life’s joy. Piecing things together, going on recon missions, and doling out the truth was something that Evie not only excelled at but truly found fulfilling. At least ─ during the day. When the sun goes down, she resorts back to her party-girl ways, needing to find some sort of entertainment as a method to keep herself distracted. Because, you see, the only thing Evie hates most in the world is being by her lonesome. It leaves time for that inner sadness and loss to come creeping back in, to remind her that there’s nothing in the world to truly call her own. That the Lallement name is a placeholder for the truth. And that’s the one truth she cannot face.

So, she parties, boozes, pushes the limit because she has none, and there is always a need for M O R E. Because boredom is never on the menu. And when the town car arrives eventually to take her back to Manhattan, merely a few hours before she must be up for work, Evie revels in the few minutes of silence and thinks ─

‘Another day down. Only an eternity to go.’

* / PERSONALITY: Evie is, more than anything, fun. She likes to have a good time and to look good while doing it. Sure, her deviousness occasionally gets her into more trouble than intended, and in some ways, her childlike need to be paid attention to can be exhausting to people, but she is not all play. Evie truly enjoys being an investigator and will isolate herself for days, weeks even, if that means cracking a case. Her job and lifestyle have been carefully cultivated to always keep her busy so the facade can stick. No one knows about her growing concerns with the idea of unlimited time or the feeling of wanting a connection with someone -- anyone. Evie doesn't really give into supernatural politics or bias, and her ruthless side only comes out when hangry or when you threaten someone she loves. Then it's all-out chaos.

* / FUN FACTS:

She's gone to college several times and has studied many things but only holds a degree in Criminology and Interior Design

Currently paying a witch to figure out a way for vampires to get tattoos

Obsessed with all things horror and true crime

Officially identified as a lesbian in the late '60s

Has two poodles named Khaleesi and Drogon

Manhattan PD knows her by name

* / WANTED CONNECTIONS:

SCOOBY GANG/HARDY BOYS/7 RINGS - These are her people, her confidantes, her ride or dies. Can be supernatural or human, mortal or immortal. Whether they met decades ago or the night before, tipsy, in the Cosmopolitan bathrooms, they instantly clicked and have been loyal to each other ever since.

ROOMMATE(S) - Evie lives in one of the many ritzy buildings Manhattan has to offer. While having an entire floor to yourself has its benefits, it can feel quite isolating. So, the vampire opened up her doors to allow in some roommates -- free of charge!

ASSISTANT - As a private investigator, sometimes certain cases can become quite tedious. While her work rarely ventures away from mild cases Cassius needs help with, Evie does also take cases from anyone who needs help. Keeping everything organized, going with her on recon, and even offering their own input and theories is what they provide for her.

PLAYTHING - Now Evie isn't evil, she doesn't play with people's emotions ( at least not intentionally ) but she does indulge in the power and influence that comes with vampirism. Not only would this person be someone to go to for the occasional midnight snack ( where they're the snack sowz ), Evie would also indulge in their life. Making sure they're well taken care of, listening to the things they're going through, and being there for them whenever they need her.

FOES/ENEMIES - When you live forever you might make an enemy or three. Evie has ruffled a few feathers over the past century, that's for sure, and she has no problem continually poking the bear if she finds herself bored enough to do so.

also: literally anything else pls plot with me i'll send you kit kats and a coupon for a free taco.

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[theaurorfileshq]

V I C T O R   S I E R R A  /  A U R O R   C A D E T

AGE:  Thirty 

BADGE NUMBER: V01D12

BLOODSTATUS: Pureblood

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Trans Man, He/Him

IDENTIFYING FEATURES: Eyebrow scar, black clothes, a bad habit of always carrying weapons on him. 

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:

(+): Hand to Hand Combat, Dueling, Good at Following Rules and Orders

(-): Easily Manipulated, Broken Moral Compass, Tendency to Shoot First and Ask Questions Later

BACKGROUND:

(tw: violence, murder) 

(i.) -- the hand of retribution.

His father always told him that there was no such thing as justice. You had to make your own retribution, if that was what you wanted. Let it flow through your body. Be it’s hands, let it become you, let it make you a God. Victor always believed what his father said, always swallowed every lesson like it was a much needed medicine. He was young, so young, but he watched with careful hawks eyes and memorised the way of the world. Trailed after his father like a puppy dog, listened carefully to things too cruel for a boy his age to know. An existence of back room deals and power grabbing, daddy wiping blood from his hands with a bored expression on his face. Romeo Sierra was a weapon, he served death first, above all things. He was the retribution that people asked for, the hand of justice that couldn’t be bought in a court of law. 

Romeo Sierra served death above all things, but he had a wife, barely spoken of. Someone had to create an heir for him, after all. She’s a sweet blur in her son’s memory. Dark hair and dark eyes and soft hands, a comforting touch, a song to lull him away into the land of dreams. He remembers that she would sit in the room with him as he slept, a silent sentinel that drove away all nightmares, a guardian angel. He was told not to question it when she disappeared, and Victor is a good child, he always does as he’s told. 

He can’t quite decide if it's a good life. Was he a happy child? Is he being damaged or made strong? Romeo Sierra smiles and kisses his forehead when he does well, and is a force of nature when he doesn’t. Brutal scenes of violence are carved into his memory, interspersed with mind numbingly boring days. Everyone is happy when he shows magic, when his childish outbursts mark him as somebody who might, someday, be formidable. He might be the hand of retribution, one day. 

(ii.) -- become a blade. 

Victor is a good son. Romeo doesn’t mind, when Victor tells him he’s a son instead of anything else. As long as he’s good, it doesn’t matter. As long as he learns the very important lessons that should guide his existence. When to talk, when to stay silent. When to watch and when to turn away. When to listen and when to fight. He learns that the world isn’t fair unless you make it. He learns that some people get to do whatever the hell they want; steal and lie and kill. That’s the way of things, that’s how the world works. 

When the time comes for his formal schooling to begin, his father denies the opportunity of Ilvermorny. A waste, that’s what it would be. A soft education. Victor is made for tougher stuff than that. He learns from a private teacher, along with another boy, the son of a business acquaintance of his father. Cain and Victor are the same age, and they both know too much, neither of them know enough. Their education goes like this: in the morning they learn the basics, the reading and the writing and the necessary spell work, the theoreticals. In the evening, they move onto more important subjects. They learn to duel against each other. They learn to fight with wands, and with hands, and with no-maj weapons. Victor gets used to the feel of a blade in his hands, and learns to shoot a gun as swiftly and accurately as one might fire off a spell. He excels in all of these things, because he is a good son, and he does his best. 

It is a swift and brutal education. Six days, followed by a day of rest, in the same manner as God himself works. Victor wonders if they should be exhausted, if they should be begging for an end. But neither of them do. They grin and bear it and they thrive in the land of adrenaline, they push through to the end of every day and then begin again without complaint.  They are, after all, the divine hands of retribution. ‘You must become a creature of wrath, Victor.’ His father tells him, even though he isn’t complaining, even though he isn’t questioning it,  and he nods  his head in perfect understanding. ‘You must become a blade.’ 

It’s a sheltered life, more so than they realise. They are sheltered away from normal childhoods, well into their teenage years they are kept as weapons waiting to be used. Cain and Victor become twin monsters, they live and breathe as one. They almost, for many years, think that they are equals. It gives them rash ideas, endears them too much to one another, makes them believe that they are allowed to do things like kiss in dark corners, sneak away in the night to brush careful fingers against each other's skin. They’re foolish, and young, and learning what love is, learning that blades don’t always cut you when you touch them. 

They aren’t, of course, equals. Cain is so much more than a weapon, that’s what they learn. He’s more like a prince. Heir apparent to an empire that spans the country, a fact which seems inconceivable to them in their younger years. Cain was made to rule the world, and Victor was made to follow, to protect, to kneel at his feet and be the hand of justice. Cain’s justice. Victor doesn’t see his father much anymore, once he turns seventeen. As far as the world is concerned, Victor was sold and bought and belongs to Cain now. 

The funny thing is, he doesn’t even mind it. At least they’ll be together. If he was going to be a weapon for someone to weild, he’d rather it be Cain than anyone else. 

(iii) -- all the kings men

Life goes as it always should. Victor makes no plans and expects nothing, he follows commands and follows Cain, and people look at him as if he is a well trained yet still feral dog.  As they grow older they live in a strange middle ground, Cain taking on more and more responsibility within the Tenorio empire, Victor shadowing him everywhere he goes. He learns the business, learns how to bend the rules as Victor watches. Cain learns how to be an iron fist, to be feared and respected and filthy rich. He kisses Victor harder at night, hand like a vice grip at the back of his neck, and it must be good because Victor doesn’t know what else it could be. 

He bloodies his own hands for the first time at Cain’s request, mere weeks after he takes over from his father, mere weeks after the funeral. He does it without question, yet is startled at the guilt in his stomach. Weapons shouldn’t feel guilty, he thinks, as he wipes the blood from his hands. It was justice, and Victor was the warrior angel who doled it out. So he shouldn’t look in the mirror and fight back tears. He has served his purpose, and he should be happy. 

In his line of work, a man who doubts the rules is a man who’ll end up dead. He’s been bought and sold and he has a purpose in life, so he swallows past any fear and any guilt and does the job. They pay him outrageously well for it, because Cain loves him and wants him to be happy. They loan him out to friends and relatives who need some divine retribution of their own, and Victor gets used to the sight of death. He always knew he would grow up to be just like his father, but he doesn’t know now if he should be proud or not. A certain kind of numbness settles in, and he cultivates a mind blank from most things. He doesn’t let himself doubt. 

Victor takes all things in stride. Cain has affairs that seemingly mean nothing, but in the end he has a daughter. Much like Victor, the woman who bore her disappears without a trace. Ileana Tenorio is a beautiful thing. He isn’t sure that he knew what love was, before he laid eyes on her, before Cain put her in his arms. He is a crueler man now, he does not treat Victor as gently as he did when he was a teenager. There is so much rage in him and Victor is his, so Victor bears it as is his purpose. He is strong and he can withstand the harsh rage, the cruel touches, the bruising kisses. They thrill him as much as they scare him, and he has learned to take them as they come, learned to find pleasure in it. But it is an unexpected moment of kindness when Cain puts a child in Victor’s arms and murmurs: ‘she can be yours, too, if you’re good.’ 

They don’t call it fatherhood, because a wild beast cannot raise a Princess. But Victor is good, and he is allowed to devote himself fully to the girl, helps her learn to walk and brushes her long hair. He buys her little dresses and wonders if she will be happy, if she will learn to be as cruel and harsh as her father did. She’s a crack in the carefully built walls of his defences, and the guilt creeps back into his soul. Like history repeating itself, she watches with wide childish eyes as he wipes the blood from his hands. He always knew he would end up like his father, but for the first  time in his life he realises that he doesn’t want to. 

(iv.) -- behold, I make all things new. 

His father always told him that there was no such thing as justice. You had to make your own retribution, if that was what you wanted. Let it flow through your body. Be it’s hands, let it become you, let it make you a God. Victor has changed now, love for something so small hooked inside his heart, and it makes him think that new people need to meet justice. He has known for a long time that he was not a sword, not the hand of God, just a monster at the end of someone else’s leash. That’s all he was raised to be, that’s all he knows. But he doesn’t want to be a weapon anymore, doesn’t want to commit the most evil of crimes. More than anything, he doesn’t want Ileana to grow up to be like him, to grow up to be like Cain. She deserves a kinder life than that, and he doesn’t want her soul marred by darkness like theirs have been. 

He expects that he can fix all things, pay the debt of all his sins. He will know peace when Cain’s power has been stripped from him, and he will accept whatever fate awaits him. Death, imprisonment, whatever may come. 

He knows, intimately, that the aurors are on their trail. When Brittany finally catches him, a stray thread in the Tenorio empire, Victor finds himself smiling. It’s good timing. It might as well be part of the plan. It must baffle her, the way his shoulders react, the relaxation, the calm he feels. He lets her take him in and he tells her everything, he spills his whole life out at her feet. Every trauma, every crime, the name of every man and woman involved in the Empire she’s been chasing. He’s the weak link, now. He tells her all they’ve done, their plans for the next few weeks, how best to get Cain Tenorio under her thumb. He tells her about the little girl he wants to keep safe. 

Victor expects a swift retribution for his crimes. He doesn’t expect to make a deal. He doesn’t expect Brittany to care about him as more than a source of information. She gives him an out, she gives him options, she gives him a way to life a different life. They find a new home for Ileana, and Victor is allowed to see her, when he can. He goes to the auror academy in Salem, as far away from the newly arrested Cain Tenorio as he can get. Victor knows that they’ll be out to get him, the ones who got away, the ones who Brittany couldn’t arrest and everyone they had on their side. But he knows he’ll survive them, if they come for him. He isn’t sure why Pacific Squad would want him, but somehow, that’s where he ends up. 

[venusxeden]

𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌: 𝑺𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒊𝒐 🦂🕸🕷

“I ain't a killer but don't push me. Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' p****”

“𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝑂𝑅𝐶𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑅”

*strictly my observations

🦂 fixed water: ice, stagnant water, fixated on its own emotions and thoughts. water is meant to be formless and fluid and to take form of any shape and be malleable; under this sign it isn’t. “still waters run deep“

🦂 ruled by Pluto, the planet of transformation, control, rebirth, subconsciousness, desire, the underworld, regeneration, and occult knowledge. esoterically, rules by Mars, the planet of aggression, war, sex, willpower, vitality and energy.

🦂 in the traditional Tarot, this sign is symbolized by “Death“ (which is indicative of their transformative nature).

🦂 these people are very transformative and regenerative. being that their sun is under such an intense sign, they tend to live harsh lives and are constantly being broken down and having to rebuild themselves again.

🦂 will constantly test you and your loyalty. they don’t define loyalty like the other signs. they require nothing but complete and utter loyalty. if they can’t trust you, then why are you even wasting their time? they like to see your soul and get to know you inside and out. what makes you angry, what you love, everything.

🦂 you never truly know them, but they will know everything about you. and you must be comfortable with that.

🦂 they trust no one, especially Scorpio men, they don’t even trust their own mothers.

🦂 intense is an understatement.

🦂 obsession and finding secrets is past-time for them. some of the best detectives and psychologists ever.

🦂 secretly loves money and collecting things like their opposite sign/shadow side, Taurus

🦂 extremists, it’s all or nothing

🦂 deathly private

🦂 highly intuitive, maybe even psychic, they go off of energy, so they are very perceptive

🦂 i’ve noticed that they hate surprises

🦂these people are absolute expert in crisis, which like the other fixed signs, but the thing that differentiates them and the others (Taurus, Leo, Aquarius) is that Scorpio is the sign of crisis. Secretly they thrive in it, and to the disdain of its opposite Taurus, they don’t do well in too much calm and order. they don’t trust it. some shit has to be going on. i have a close Scorpio friend who hates coming over to my house because she hates how quiet it is, and always has to make sure the television was on, or that we were constantly messing the house up, because the peacefulness makes her uneasy.

🦂 penetrating eyes and very focused stare

🦂 p r o t e c t i v e

🦂 some of the nicest, most charismatic, most funny people ever

🦂 love sex, they have a spiritual connection to it, that’s when they can truly show their true form and who they really are

🦂 the absolute best friends to have, the worst enemies to make

🦂 can be either parasitic or can heal you

🦂 hard-working and determined as hell

🦂 can see straight through you; damn near x-ray vision

🦂 veryyyyyy meticulous and calculating

🦂 they tend to mirror their partners and people they care about, can show you what you need to work on and how you act

🦂 masters of emotional intelligence and manipulation

🦂 yes, they are vindictive as hell, it’s true. have you read the fable of the turtle in the scorpion? that fable is soooo indicative of Scorpios and their love of revenge, and why they don’t care if it hurts them or that they will die after stinging. they are comfortable with that. they only sting who deserves it, remember that this is the sign of death and rebirth and regeneration.

🦂 if dark sided, they can be self-destructive and manipulative

🦂 have the best observational humor ever

🦂 if they love you, they’ll love you hard. they’ll protect you with their life.

🦂 they don’t really lie much, and aren’t really that snakish, they are just secretive as hell.

🦂 if a Scorpio is in your life, there is a change that needs to occur in your life and you are unable to enact it yourself, so the universe sent them to you to break that stagnation. whether they are here to bring bring good change or here to break you down depends on them

🦂 powerful

🦂 if they love you, they’ll treat you the worst and the best at the same time

🦂 have the strongest block game, and will ghost you tf outta you, and you’ll never know why

despite being stereotyped as dark, crazed, and evil, they are actually some of the best people to have in your corner, and are the most sensitive and loyal people ever.

[bookish2597]

Most Amazing Books to Read

We've seen these rundowns previously - from Amazon to the Telegraph to Time Magazine and past. A lot of people have arrangements of the 100 best books ever, the 100 books you should peruse, and on. What's more, flawlessly, in spite of cover, they are on the whole unique. The magnificent subjectivity of workmanship implies that no two of these rundowns ought to ever be actually indistinguishable. So this is our own, our uncommon snowflake of a rundown, conceived out of our enthusiasm for books. We kept it to fiction this time. A portion of the normal works of art are there, close by some progressively contemporary passage. There is some sci-fi, some YA, or more all else, some remarkable stories.

Do any of the included titles stun you? Is it true that you are shocked by any oversights? Tell us what makes the cut for your main 100 books.

The Testaments: The Sequel to The Handmaid's Tale

Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale—which offers a nerve racking picture of an America under extremist principle—was a touchstone well before it turned into a hit TV arrangement, yet that additional perceivability implies much more individuals are envisioning this spin-off, over 30 years really taking shape.

Moved by the Sun: My Friendship with Jackie

Carly Simon (the free-soul pop star) and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (the monitored previous First Lady) had an improbable fellowship, no doubt. Be that as it may, they met on Martha's Vineyard one summer, and the relationship developed into something the two ladies appreciated. In this journal, Simon expounds on the distinctions and likenesses that made for a one of a kind and paramount kinship.

The Water Dancer: A Novel

This first novel from the honor winning writer Coates, writer of the 2015 marvel Between the World and Me, pursues a youngster naturally introduced to desperate conditions yet presented with a remarkable power. It's a ground-breaking anecdote about what we can accomplish for ourselves and for our families in a world with which we're always at chances.

Red at the Bone: A Novel

The most recent from the National Book Award-winning writer of Another Brooklyn and Brown Girl Dreaming, this thin, ground-breaking novel jumps crosswise over time to recount to the account of a young lady in New York in 2001 and her mom 16 years sooner. Infrequently has such untidy, disturbing, and human story been told with such style.

Fantastic Union: Stories

At the point when a few creators move, the way of life moves with them, following each turn and change in their work with intense intrigue. Zadie Smith is one of those authors, and her first short story accumulation will be all the rage this fall. This volume assembles eleven fresh out of the plastic new sorts out with a portion of her recently distributed work.

Discover Me: A Novel

The account of Elio and Oliver—which started in Call Me By Your Name—proceeds in this continuation, which vows to be similarly as delicate, destroying, and arousing. We get a very long time later on when Sami, Elio's dad, visits him in Rome. In transit, he has a brush with destiny that changes his sentimental life until the end of time. Elio, presently an expert piano player, before long moves to Paris and has his very own issue. In the mean time, Oliver's life as an American teacher appears to be dull, and he recollects a late spring quite a while in the past, feeling a dismantle to a previous darling.

She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement

While the consequential convulsions of the #MeToo development will change our reality for a considerable length of time to come, this book—by the Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnists revealed the dim history of Harvey Weinstein's inappropriate behavior—graphs its beginnings and their very own unfathomable adventure to revealing a story many idea could never be told.

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Arienne Brodeur's shocking diary is the sort of obvious story that makes you wonder for what reason we'd ever need fiction. Starting during her adolescence in a bohemian Cape Cod, the gimlet-looked at book recounts to the tale of her mom's everything expending issue and how Brodeur herself turned into an accessory to a falsehood that increased than anybody could have envisioned. It's a flawlessly composed, thoroughly charming story dissimilar to any we've perused previously—and will doubtlessly be one of the most discussed books of the year.

Palm Beach, Mar-a-Lago, and the Rise of America's Xanadu

In this beguiling, zippy history of Palm Beach, Les Standiford graphs the goal's fortune from its establishing during the 1800s to the present day. The majority of the well-known Palm Beach characters, from Henry Flagler to Addison Mizner and Marjorie Merriweather Post, are available for a romping, enlightening exercise in land, American history, and recent developments.

Metropolitan Stories: A Novel

Christine Coulson went through 25 years working at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, so it's no big surprise her presentation novel is set in the background at the admired establishment. This arrangement of vignettes goes past what an easygoing guest to the historical center may see and offers a clever, agreeable take a gander at the exquisite and now and then unhinged world that exists with its dividers.

Precious stone Doris: The True Story of the World's Most Notorious Jewel Thief

It would be sufficient just to peruse the diary of one of the world's most notorious gem hoodlums, yet how might we oppose "Jewel" Doris Payne, who has said she found out about how to take the absolute best by perusing Town and Country? Her journal has everything, from her noteworthy accounts of experiencing childhood in Depression-period West Virginia to her most prominent heists, jail breaks, and endless other shimmering undertakings.

There's nothing we at T&C love in excess of a book about a private academy embarrassment. In any case, this most recent from Kevin Wilson, creator of The Family Fang, just utilizes that awesome thought as a bouncing off point for a confused, enchanting, and thoroughly engaging tale about fellowship, family, and the things we need individuals to think about us. Goodness, and furthermore individuals who can light themselves ablaze.

Year of the Monkey

Patti Smith's most recent diary is a thoughtful take a gander at her time of solo meandering in 2016. That year, obviously, brought monstrous political and social change to the nation, and Smith records it in her own expressive manner, alongside unique Polaroid photography. The American ordinance is covered with "excursion diaries," however on the off chance that there's a voice we'd need to add to that sort, it would be Smith, whose effortlessness and savvy reasoning is an appreciated analgesic during circumstances such as the present.

Up close and personal: The Art of Human Connection

Simon and Schuster

Brian Grazer, the Academy Award-winning maker behind films like A Beautiful Mind—composed this most recent book about the specialty of human association. Utilizing entrancing models from his own ritzy encounters with any semblance of Barack Obama, Bill Gates, and Spike Lee, Grazer discloses how to augment your effect on others by rediscovering a range of abilities about us all as of now have.

Sontag: Her Life and Work

In this doorstop of an account, Benjamin Moser—who has composed for T&C about his subject—jumps profound into the life of Susan Sontag who, in spite of being one of the world's most unmistakable educated people, has never been as altogether considered as she is here. This 800 or more page book, which discovers its subject at urgent crossroads in history from the Cuban Revolution to the fall of the Berlin Wall, probably won't be light perusing, however it's unquestionably fundamental.

Do You Mind If I Cancel?: (Things That Still Annoy Me)

You may know Gary Janetti from his extremely interesting royals-centered Instagram account, yet in this book he shares an alternate (yet likewise comical) side of himself. These papers investigate his fantasies of turning into a cleanser star, the battle of aching for an unattainable associate, and fantasies of impressive achievement and the vengeance it would permit are certain to fulfill Janetti's military of fans and enroll in excess of a couple of newcomers.

The Most Spectacular Restaurant in the World: The Twin Towers, Windows on the World, and the Rebirth of New York

Tom Roston's book about Windows on the World—the impressive diner that sat on the 107th floor of the World Trade Center—doesn't simply diagram the amazing opening and sad part of the arrangement feasting foundation. It additionally tells the ritzy, down to business story of current eating, American coarseness, and the stuff to make it in the hardest town on the planet.

The International Best-Dressed List: The Official Story

Since it propelled in 1940, the International Best-Dressed List has been the wellspring of amusement, interest, and shock among a portion of the world's most dominant—and sharp looking—individuals. In this official volume, list-attendant (and T&C giver) Amy Fine Collins uncovers the entrancing history of how the rundown became, what it implies, and the mind blowing lengths individuals have gone to be get themselves included.

This Tender Land: A Novel

Atria Books

This epic experience story pursues four runaway vagrants getting away from their grim conditions at a loathsome school in 1930s Minnesota. What pursues is a progression of contacting, convincing touches of destiny that take the children—and anybody tailing them—to sudden and energizing spots.

Antoni in the Kitchen

Rux Martin/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

You may definitely know Antoni Porowski as the hunky nourishment and wine master on the Netflix arrangement Queer Eye. If not, this cookbook—the writer's first—shares his trademark simple to-pursue plans with an eye for sustenance that is perfect for both engaging and Instagramming.

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Life Isn't Everything.: Mike Nichols, as recollected by 150 of his dearest companions.

A large portion of us know Mike Nichols from his work—films like The Graduate, Heartburn, and Working Girl or plays including The Odd Couple, Annie, and Death of a Salesman. In this very much built memoir—told in the style of an oral history—individuals who really knew Nichols recall the man himself and remind us what a transcending figure he was in work as well as in life also.

Destined to Party, Forced to Work: 21st Century Hospitality

A-rundown party organizer Bronson Van Wyck is best known for tossing incredible

[i-got-that-fandom-kinda-love]

A to Z favourite TV show challenge! Or # to Z?

# - 30 Rock (Liz Lemmon! This is just all kinds of hilarity).

A - Ally McBeal (there's not enough of this on Tumblr btw. I loved it before I understood it - my brother watched and I followed. And then I watched again and I loved it more) / Arrow (so years ago I started watching this because of Tumblr. You guys were obsessed with Olicity and I was too even though I hadn't watched the show. So I watched it. Thank you for ruining my life btw) / Accidentally in Love (Asian Series, sup, @netflix - thanks for getting me addicted to Asian series - I liked them before but now it's just there and begging to be watched AND I CAN'T HELP MYSELF - YOU'VE ADDICTED MY MOTHER TOO).

B - Brooklyn Nine Nine (best thing to happen to me, thank you Tumblr - the nine nine fandom. Also started it a couple years ago and fell in love hard. This show makes me laugh no matter what and it's pure and I love it so much. It's really a show I needed because when I watch series I get really emotionally involved and certain shows leave me so stressed that I have to take a break and all I can watch is comedies for a few weeks. Or months. Depends on how big my heart break was. B99 always makes me laugh and feel lighter). / Buffy the Vampire Slayer (another one from my childhood, you know when you're too young to really understand but old enough to remember it? So yeah, my brother got me hooked at a young age and the addiction stuck. Because I've never been able to forget Buffy. And I've recently been rewatching it with my mother - she too is a bit addicted).

C - Charmed (Original series, not reboot - I haven't even watched the reboot. But yes, Charmed. I remember being up til 10PM on a Monday while I was in primary (middle) school just to watch it. Halliwell sisters are another drug I never could kick - Leo was one of my first ever crushes - my very first crush was Shahrukh Khan and if we're ever talking Bollywood movies he'll be all over that post).

D - Doctor Who (Okay! I only started watching from season 5, again cos NETFLIX - the Doctor and Amy Pond - man, just lock me up in the TARDIS and take me away already. ALSO one of the series that broke my heart enough that rendered me incapable of watching any other series except comedy).

E - Ek Hazaroon Mein Meri Behna Hai (Hindi series; my sister is one in a thousand - I assume it's the name because that sounds better in Hindi than one in a million or billion. There's something about Hindi series that sucks you in and tortures you until you're on the brick of exploding from suspense - the build up is both infuriating and renders you unable to tear your eyes away).

F - Friends ('Cause it's been there for me and how can I not? Again, childhood. Also. Heroes get remembered but legends never die. And I've watched every episode like a gazillion times and laugh just the same - I think even more 'cause I know what's gonna happen. I'm one of those people). / Fairy Tail (Anime. Magic. Friendship. Friendship. Friendship. It's one of those rare shows that has a lot of characters and manages to make you love each one of them. I found it after high school but I love it to bits).

G - Gilmore Girls (I remember the first time I watched this as a kid, Rory and Lorelei were sitting at Luke's diner and chatting about something and I though they were sisters. I was at my cousin's house and I just couldn't stop watching them. Loved it ever since. And it's strange how a randomly watching TV can just change your life - 'cause you know, I obsess) / Gossip Girl (at first, I'd watched it because Kristen Bell was the voice of Gossip Girl. And I needed anything related to anything Veronica Mars. And then I naturally loved it like everybody else. Also disappointed at who GG really was. So yeah.)

H - How I Met Your Mother (At first I really, really loved it, now though it's not so high on my favourite list but it does still make me laugh - cos Barney. The final episode was so disappointing). / Hannah Montana (because if I was 13 or 16 this would have made the list. And I still love the show. My heart swells everytime my bestie sings True Friend to me. I still love Hannah Montana music okay).

I - iZombie (Rob Thomas. He's the reason I tried it out. Liv is the reason I stayed. Also Ravi. And also Major. Okay, dude, characters and plot is right on point) / Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon (Hindi series; what name do I give to this love? Its unnecessarily complicated but gosh those complications kept me on edge, staring at the screen, waiting for those idiots to realise the truth. Opposites attract. Hate to love to hate to love. They did it so well).

J - Joan of Arcadia (okay so I remember really loving this when I was younger - I haven't rewatched it as an adult but I feel like I'll still love it. I mean, come on, what if God was one of us?)

K - Kim Possible (Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me? Ultimate cartoon. Hands down. Second best is The Life and Times of Juniper Lee - she's basically the cartoon Buffy - the Chosen One - though it's hereditary instead of random? And also more fun and less heartache 'cause it's a cartoon).

L - Lucifer (Man, Lucifer. You got the guy telling everyone he's the devil and they think he's talking in metaphors? It's just hilarious to me. Detective. Romance. Snark. Supernatural. Also, Hello, Adult Tom Welling - can I even describe how excited I was to see him? Smallville, man).

M - Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir (One of the few new cartoons that I watch and love. This is just so cute and the love square is just so cute and everything is just so cute. And like we need cute stuff in our lives. Frustrating cos how oblivious can one be but also why you so cute Marinette Dupain Chang and Adrian Agreste aka Ladybug and Cat Noir)/ Malcolm in the Middle (Childhood. Childhood. Childhood. I'm not the middle child but I relate).

N - Naruto (Anime. Okay, childhood yes, also teenagehood and adulthood. Guy's been with me through everything, believe it. This show just means so much to me and I'm thankful that I got to grow up with him. Thank you, Kishimoto).

O - One Day At a Time (THANK YOU, NETFLIX! This is just one of the greatest shows on right now. I love comedy. I didn't expect it to be so emotional too. But damn it gets you right in the feels. My brother claims I'm exactly like Elena and our nephew is like Alex. I honestly don't mind. Elena is badass and strong as hell.)

P - Psych (It's just awesome? It's clever, it's funny, Shawn and Gus. The dramatics in extremely serious situations will never not make grin like a mad woman. Also private investigation shows seem to a weakness of mine. ) / Parks and Recreation (okay I never thought I'd like a mockumentary kind of series but this happened and proved me wrong and I just love this show and it's characters). / Pyaar Ka Dard Hai Meetha Meetha Pyara Pyara (Hindi Series; the pain of love is sweet and loveable. When your parents set you up with someone and you're like no way in hell and they're like okay but they you become best friends and fall in love and yeah. The name says it all, really). / Pinocchio (Asian series - one of the more complicated ones but I simply just loved these characters and actors to bits after watching it).

Q - Quantico (it's not really one of my favourites but I couldn't think of anything else and I do enjoy it. Priyanka Chopra has always been a fav since forever - Bollywood was life before I was even old enough to understand English - but it's because of this that I can understand Hindi without needing subtitles).

R - Rizzoli & Isles (who wouldn't love a show with two best friends kicking ass in the work place). / Revenge (I watched it cos I liked Emily from Everwood but the story was so intriguing and I just got addicted. It wasn't like anything I've ever seen). / Refresh Man (Asian series - officially my favourite Asian series of all time - again, thank you Netflix. Also ever since I've loved both Aaron Yan and Joanna Tseng and I'm on a mission to watch everything they've ever acted in - do you see my obsessing tenancies?).

S - Supergirl / Supernatural / Suits / Smallville (Okay! There's too many shows that start with an S. Smallville was my gateway into the superhero show - movie - comic obsession. And also I'm getting tired of commenting on everything).

T - The Good Place / The Office (US) / The Flash/ Teen Wolf (also too many with a T!)

U - Ugly Betty

V - Veronica Mars (of all time!! Man, again, random TV viewing = life changing TV show that sticks with you forever and Veronica Mars has definitely affected me way more than any other show. I couldn't get it out of my head ever since 2007! I waited for every Thursday just to watch it and naturally Thursday became my favourite day of the week - not Friday like normal scholars - nope. I think it's the way that it ended that contributed to my obsession - so much questions left unanswered and to a 12 year old girl the most important thing is of course that LoVe hadn't officially gotten back together. My mind wrote and rewrote endings and scenarios. Then I discovered fanfiction. And then I started writing. Veronica Mars made me a junkie but also helped me discover my passion. It's not just the show that makes it my #1 but the journey it's taken me on while it was on air and especially when it was off air. ALSO THE SHOW IS SIMPLY AMAZING EVEN WITHOUT ALL MY EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT - also one of the shows that I started watching and then my brother got hooked onto it).

W - What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? / Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo/ W: two worlds apart (all Asian series - OKAY, NETFLIX IS BLAMED FOR ALL OF THIS)

X - Is there anything but X-Men? I wouldn't really put the series on my favourite list but I do watch the X-Men cartoons and I have enjoyed it so imma let it be.

Y - Young Sheldon (Too smart for his own good Cooper.) / Yankee-kun to Megane-chan (Asian series - okay, this one can't be put on Netflix. It's the first Asian drama series I'd watched because of a manga that I loved).

Z - Zoey101 ('Cause there's nothing else I can think off and I enjoyed it when I was younger. I remember putting 101 after all of my usernames for everything).

So when I thought of this I thought I'd put one name for each alphabet but it didn't work out that way 'cause I obsess over everything.

I would love to get to know more about everyone's favourite shows. I'm tagging based on the Tumblr likes thing (also on my @marshmallowatheart account) and also urls I remember seeing often on the activity cos I wanted to tag as much people as possible. I'd have been cool if I could have went with the a - z for tagging but it's not working out like I wanted so next best. (Also if I didn't tag you and you wanna do it, please go for it, I'm really into this).

Anyone who wants to do this can and whoever doesn't want to it's cool! It takes time to think especially when you have to pick between things so if you want to, add as many as you like. You don't have to add comments on it if you don't want to, I just got carried away! And then got tired.

@poppy-in-the-woods @risssaar @stephaniecatlover @ihaveathingformeninwaistcoats @write-to-feel @mediocre-mee @jenilyn2000 @lalacristina18 @cainc3 @mrskissytaylor @anilcadz91 @elliebear75 @troublescout @hanitjemars @susanmichelin @cheshirecatstrut @firedragonmon

[kuliru]

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Don’t have a closet. I’m poor

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

I’m Asian. Does that answer the question?

(3) Can You Whistle?

Sadly not

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Awaken - Stray Kids. Stan them or fat 🤬

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Currently dirty yellow green

(6) Relationship Status.

Taken by at least 150 boys that do not exist

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

28°C. This is considered VERY low here. Normally it’s a fucking oven in here — 33°C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

I have never woken up peaceful in my entire life

(9) How Many Followers?

381

(10) Zodiac Sign.

The sexual position. Cancer ♋️ 💛

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

💩

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I’m not 6 🤬

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Stopped ever since I became a teen #puberty

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I only read manga

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

I want to die

(16) Favourite Anime?

HUNTER X HUNTER BITCH

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Crying? What’s that?

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Screenshots. Specifically shirtless anime boys 💦🥵

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

I starve myself #RoadToAnorexia

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Only on my dad’s yacht and private jet

(21) Favourite Animal?

Me

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Only Hentai

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

0230

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

No

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Hate swimming. I get tan so easily. I’d die for pale skin

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Mine obviously is this even a question

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Tap. Because it might not be clean and I can get sick and not live as long cause I hate living and want to die

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Hentai. Next.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Study? What’s that?

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Both. But I like dogs slightly more ...

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Only the wrapper cause I’m not straight

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Hentai

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Cum

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

No lemao

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Naked rn

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Sadly

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

ALWAYS SPEND IT THE MOMENT I RECEIVE IT 🤮 sucks to be rich

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Pussy flesh

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Sadly not

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Sadly not. But I’ve caught lizards and moths call me Steve Irwin

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Surprisingly no

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Very.

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I’m neutral about them. But one time. I was sick and rode on an airplane. MY EARS WERE FUCKING DYING. IT FELT LIKE MY EARDRUMS WERE BEING STABBED AND THE KNIFE WAS STUCK THERE and EVERYTHING HURT. Thank god the flight was only an hour. Cause the next one I had was 14 hours and by then my cold was gone

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Your Name obviously. Oh and also the sad WW2 movies from Studio Ghibli

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

None ew.

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

N C FUCKNG T BITCHES

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Surprisingly not

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

FUCKING. I need at least 10 hours of sleep or else I can’t get through the day

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Neither

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Read manga, which, are Japanese mangoes for those of you uncultured swines

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Only moaning. Next question

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

None I have servants for a reason

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Crown by TXT my phone knows me so well <3

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

It’s always summer here #BoringWeatherMuch

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

Cock

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Unspecified. Ok but fr female

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

T

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

Never had homework ever since Oct 2018. It’s Mar 2019 now lol

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Straight as FUCK

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Look at question 53 cunt

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

You

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Tied between ig and tumblr. Wait no. Tumblr

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

Better than sc ngl although sc started it

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Nope

(67) Are You A Virgin?

You’re asking one rn good job

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

This is so weird.. even I don’t know... and I’ve been using the same product for months.. wait I’ve recalled it now. Both are dove

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Car for free duh

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Parents? What’s that?

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Seeing 5 ft apart on Friday what I have a life????

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

Only sex sike

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

Fuck I don’t have one and can’t come up with one.. uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh... when Kakashi said you’re more than scum if you leave your friends behind. Cried like a bitch

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

White

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Duh who hasn’t

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Air

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

What am I.. 11?

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

No. Herpes

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

No but I’ve been on it gay

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

WHO HASN’T WTF

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

No. Hate socialising. I only need my body pillows in life

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Nope but I wear a dog leash

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Agap

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

1. Starved 2. Shat 3. Do this

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Nothing. I can’t afford clothes

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I don’t need beauty products when I’m already a beauty myself

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Lazy. But my absolute fave is walking dead

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

My mom left and she said to never answer the door and someone knocked on the door. She was standing there with demonic eyes and I was like “lmao”. Then I left that ‘person’ at the door and she kept scratching and banging the door that I went to the peephole again and it transformed to a bald man. He then started writing me a birthday card when my birthday is literally 3 months away and wishing me the best in life.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

I’m vegan

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Giant tortoises mating

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Gowns

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Born hideous lmao

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Hentai jfc how many times must I repeat myself

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

A tattoo of your math grade <3

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Ondo. Love that bitch

[chatwithvera]

Nothing quite says pretty the way good clean skin does. Start basic and keep it that way.

GOOD EARTH BEAUTY EXCLUSIVES FACIAL CLEANSER - VITAMIN C FOR NORMAL SKIN  Infused with Vitamin C this cleanser is great!

My thoughts:  This simple bottle packs a powerful punch in your beauty regime. A clear "liquid gel" infused with wonderful organic, vegan, natural ingredients that clean and nourish your skin, it lathers beautifully, and leaves my face feeling cleansed of makeup and environmental pollutants that mar.

I love splashing water on my face, then using my hands to gently apply the cleanser I cover my face completely and using rotating motions "lather up." I have sensitive eyes, so I am careful to keep them tightly closed in case this (as with any other cleanser) should prove an irritant.

My skin feels so fresh and clean!

Now that we've cleansed our face, it is ready to receive a product to moisturize and soften. Everyone has a different  type of skin and sometimes it is hit-or-miss in finding the just right product for you. Often it is best to have several and rotate through them so that our skin doesn't become satiated with methodology of one product and can benefit from a varied care regime. I suggest you try to veer toward the #natural and #organic products being offered. There is a grand assortment of skin care lines on GoodEarthBeauty.com and their own private label is very good. Today's moisturizer is one of their creams to moisturize normal skin.

GOOD EARTH BEAUTY EXCLUSIVES FACIAL MOISTURIZER - ROSE & GREEN TEA FOR NORMAL SKIN

Virtually unscented, this rose and green tea infused cream works beautifully.

Soft! A nice glow! That's how my skin is when using the Rose & Green Tea Moisturizer. This is a light yet creamy moisturizer that is a joy to use.

After cleaning my face I usually apply a serum and then a moisturizer. This week I've been simply cleansing and moisturizing. The effect is quite good. I still think I'll keep that serum step in the regime I perform daily to take care of my skin, but simply because I'm a lady of-a-certain-age. Younger folks could quite easily simply cleanse and moisturize.

There are several moisturizers in the Good Earth Beauty Exclusives line covering dry skin, normal skin, and oily skin. Pick and choose that which is best for you. Normal seems to work best for me.

I can recommend this and it is certainly affordable.

More info..... https://chatwithvera.blogspot.com/2019/02/all-natural-products-from-good-earth.html

[the-mateus-minute]

Triage

Dear Readers,

This week I took the opportunity to, once again, interview several of the Proving Grounds gladiators and their patrons. As before, I will be releasing these interviews over the next week, with a very special interview this Friday. But as I did last week, I sought out one of the most injured fighters to interview first. Cyneburge Hayle fought hard against her opponent Wyra’to last week, but his sheer brutality won the match, along with the ire of a great many in attendance. I am pleased to report that miss Hayle, seemed much recovered when she arrived at my office with her patron, Arsene Black, for their interview.

C: First things first, Miss Hayle, you seem to be doing quite well, are you healing well after your fight? H: Aye, I'm alright. Was out for about a week but I'm back at it. Took a few days before I were able t' walk by myself again, though. Good enough t' mop the floor with that Coeurl fetishist next time I see him, anyroad.

C: I'm glad to see you're making a full recovery. Your match with Wyra'to was intense, to say the least. How do you feel about how things went down? H: Hmm... Humbled, I s'pose, would be the best word for it. Made t' realize I need t' train more. Back in Limsa Lominsa, as I'm sure y' know lass, his type ain't too uncommon. Loud, boastful, an' aggressive. Most of 'em, best way t' deal with 'em is t' keep your distance an' let 'em tire themselves out before knockin' 'em senseless. Then y' get lads like Wyra'to what can put his money where his mouth is. Lad was crazy, didn't back down no matter how bad I got him. By the time I went t' change tactics he had me on the ropes hard. Overall? It was a good match. He made me realize what I gotta work on.

C: It's good to hear that you made it out of the fight intact and having learned from it as well. [...] Tell me, you said you're from Limsa Lominsa, what brings you to Ul'dah as a gladiator? H: Well aye, I'm from Limsa Lominsa but I'm an adventurer lass. I travel 'round Eorzea regularly. Why a gladiator y' wonder though? Well, truth be told, it's better pay an' less movin' around. Hard t' hang around your mates when you're halfway across the continent from them any given day, even harder when you're tryin' t' get romantic with folks. Plus I love all this flashy stuff, the titles, the trash speakin', the action. I'm honored t' even be a part of it.

C: True enough. And what of your background as a fighter? Did you learn most of it while adventuring, or did you learn in Limsa? H: Limsa Lominsa, an' a bit from my pa. He was a merc an' would do some light trainin' with me t' keep my muscles up. 'Course I ended up lovin' it an' ran off t' join the Marauders when I was just shy of a young woman. Actually, I've decided t' go back t' trainin' with the Marauder's Guild. I figure goin' back t' basics is a good idea at this point.

C: That's really sweet! The basics are very important, regardless of vocation. It's always a good idea to keep them fresh in our minds. So does that mean you will be quitting the tournament, or just training up before your next match? H: Quittin'? Hardly! Y' can't keep me down lass. I'm gonna be back an' better than ever, you mark my words!

C: Excellent, you had me worried for a moment there. I'd hate for my first interview with you to also be the last. And what about you sir? Things were rather intense during last week's fights; I seem to recall hearing you put a rather impressive bounty on Wyra'to's hands. Tell me, are you serious about that bounty? A: Yes, I'm quite serious about it. While Hayle may believe that fight was completely fine. I do not believe that there is a single being on Hyadelyn that could dent a helmet of Allagan composite metal with headbutts in such a way without fracturing their own skull. That is, unless they used aether, or some sort of drug like Pluto. I do not believe that the investigation by Owu and her security will turn up anything. It's not good for business to have the games marred with controversy. Once one fight turned out to be rigged against someone then every fight will have a mark next to it.

C: You've certainly thought this through, and without more investigation I can't honestly say you're wrong. [...Time will tell who has the right of it though.] So, what made you decide to become a patron in the Proving Grounds? A: I wanted to [get with] one of the guards there, well... It's not really a want. But, She convinced me to do so.  Afterwards, it was a hobby to spend time and hobknob with people with silver spoons in their mouths. But, After watching Hayle's fight... I'm starting to feel a relative level of disgust for every single person involved. That became even worse once I found out that some patrons aren't even paying their fighters per fight. I believe they should be paid for the attempt, with a bonus for winning. I was told Sige Ardezen didn't spare a single gil for her fighter, even though she took an axe into her leg fighting for the honor of her shop. I don't live on that principle. Anyone who has someone fighting for them, be the fighter striving for honor, gil, or a better life. If you can't even provide them a means to have a roof over their head while they recover, you're less then a chocobo's shit in my eyes.

C: I knew the gladiators and patrons made private arrangements, but I was not aware some of the gladiators were not being paid unless they won. I will be looking into this more in the future, I assure you, Mr. Black. Now, would you mind telling us a bit about the interests you represent as a patron? A: My interest currently is simply seeing Hayle through this endeavor until she has had enough of the guts and glory. Owu has nothing to offer me financially or socially. As far as I am concerned, this {resting a hand on Hayle’s shoulder} is my only interest here anymore. Unless of course you meant something else with your question.

C: Yes, sorry, allow me to clarify. Most of the patrons who have sponsored gladiators represent a business or organization. Miss Leclair has her shop, Mr. Pierce has his lab, and Lady Blackstone and Miss Amarant both represent mercenary groups seeking to expand. Do you have any such affiliations? A: I am the Chairman of Black Allag Industries, Currently we have three ventures ongoing. I have my armory and weapon shop in Shirogane, as well as a cafe I recently invested in ran by an old friend of mine. Though our main source of income is a supply contract with the grand companies procuring and forging weapons and armors for them.

C: Oh! Very interesting! I believe I may have heard of you before I left Limsa. Well, I believe that is all of my questions answered. Do either of you have anything you'd like to add before we conclude the interview? A: Take care of your fighters. If people are willing to put their lives on the line for your honor then you can care for and support them equally. Because if your claim to nobility is nothing more then the amount of gil you have in your coffers and not the grace and care for those in your services. You're no longer a lord or a lady, You're a bastard or a bitch. H: We know what we signed up for. Folks are gonna get hurt. That's the point. I'm here t' put on a good show, if I need t' get knocked out for it? So be it! Wyra'to is a proud fighter, even if he is a bit too much of a braggart for my liking. I respect his strength, but next time, I'm gonna put him in the ground, mark my words!

C: I doubt I am the only one looking forward to it! Thank you both for the interview, it's been very enlightening.

Rest assured, dear readers, I meant what I said to Arsene Black, I intend to find the truth of the matters brought to light in this interview.

                                                                                      --C. Blythe

@mateusprovinggrounds  @blackallagan

[bloojayoolie]

Anaconda, Andrew Bogut, and Apparently: Friendly and adorable Spike may look like a serious chap but he has a sunny personality is easy to handle on leash and happily playful in the yard. Spike will make the perfect playmate and a wonderful partner for just chilling out on the couch, too. I have been returned :( Intake Date: 3/19/2019 Friendly and Adorable Spike Wants to Win Your Heart Over <3 A volunteer writes: Spike is ready to smile! He may look like a serious chap when you first meet, but take the time to play, pet and get to know him and he'll be sunny side up in a jiffy. We had so much fun on our first date, leisurely strolling around the block while Spike sniffed every snowbank and tree, then joyfully playing with toys indoors. He's the best of both worlds, a consummate gentleman and easy to handle on leash and a happy, play-bowing loon off leash. For an active family looking for the perfect playmate, Spike definitely fits the bill, but he'd make a wonderful partner for just chilling out on the couch, too. Seemingly house trained and ready to come, sit and stay for treats, he's smart and eager to please. So if you're keen to teach, he'll be happy to learn. As open-hearted as he is with us humans, Spike can be very selective with his four-legged playmates, so a home where he'll be able to settle in as your only pet before any new introductions are made (one-on-one, no dog parks, please) would be best. Meet this handsome boy at our Manhattan Care Center today! MY VIDEOS: Spike ~ a sweetrheart, a scholar and an athlete! https://youtu.be/0yfmgg8IB-I Princess Brownie and Spike in Playgroup https://youtu.be/oDSlGdbSF_c SPIKE ID# 56025, 2 yrs old, 43 lbs, Manhattan Animal Care Center, Large Mixed Breed Cross, Brown / White Neutered Male, Return Owner Surrender Reason: not known yet Shelter Assessment Rating: LEVEL 2 No young children (under 5) Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Medical Behavior Rating: BEHAVIOR NOTES Means of surrender (length of time in previous home): Owner Surrender (adopted and returned after a few days) Energy level/descriptors: Spike is described as having a very high level of activity. Other Notes: Spike is reported to be mouthy in the home, nipping playfully at people. SHELTER ASSESSMENT: Date of assessment: 3-Mar-2019 Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: None Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Moderately social Call over: Approaches with coaxing Sociability comments: Jumps up socially when approaches, body soft Handling Soft handling: Accepts contact Exuberant handling: Accepts contact Comments: Body soft, stands still Arousal Jog: Follows (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (loose) Knock Comments: None Toy: No response Toy comments: None PLAYGROUP NOTES - DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: Due to sudden rapid escalation, a single dog residence is recommended for Spike at this time, until behavior around dogs can be followed up on outside of the shelter environment. 3/1: When introduced off leash to a female greeter dog, Spike initially attempts to mount, but when solicited with play, he engages in bouncy play. 3/2-3/3: Spike engages in running and bouncy play with male and female dogs. 3/4: When solicited with play, Spike growls, snaps, and pursues the other dog while continuing to growl and snap. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: Level 2 Behavior Asilomar H - Healthy Recommendations: No young children (under 5) Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Recommendations comments: Single pet/no dog parks: See DOG-DOG. No young children: Due to being mouthy in his previous home, we recommend a home without young children. Older children who are comfortable around large, jumpy dogs should have an in-depth interaction prior to adoption. Potential challenges: Basic manners/poor impulse control Mouthiness/poor bite inhibition Potential challenges comments: Spike is reported to be active and jumpy with people, in a playful manner. Please see handout on Basic Manners. Spike is reported to be mouthy and nip at people playfully. Please see handout on Mouthiness. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES 19-Mar-2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2 years Microchip noted on Intake? Previously placed at MACC Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : Returned. Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior -Friendly, wagging his tail, taking treats, a lot of energy. Evidence of Cruelty seen -No Evidence of Trauma seen -No Objective T = P =120 bpm R =eup BCS 4.5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Mild tartar, grade 1/4 PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic, no c/s ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: M/N MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Clean externally Assessment: Apparently healthy Prognosis: Good Plan: No tx needed at this time SURGERY: Already neutered ---------------------------------------------------------- NOTES FIRST STAY - INTAKE 03-01-2019 SPIKE ID# 56025, 2 yrs old, 43 lbs, Manhattan Animal Care Center, Large Mixed Breed Cross, Brown / White Neutered Male, Intake Agency Shelter Assessment Rating: LEVEL 1 Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Medical Behavior Rating: BEHAVIOR NOTES; Means of surrender (length of time in previous home): Stray SHELTER ASSESSMENT - Date of assessment: 3-Mar-2019 Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: None Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Moderately social Call over: Approaches with coaxing Sociability comments: Jumps up socially when approaches, body soft Handling Soft handling: Accepts contact Exuberant handling: Accepts contact Comments: Body soft, stands still Arousal Jog: Follows (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (loose) Knock Comments: None Toy: No response Toy comments: None PLAYGROUP NOTES - DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: Due to sudden rapid escalation, a single dog residence is recommended for Spike at this time, until behavior around dogs can be followed up on outside of the shelter environment. 3/1: When introduced off leash to a female greeter dog, Spike initially attempts to mount, but when solicited with play, he engages in bouncy play. 3/2-3/3: Spike engages in running and bouncy play with male and female dogs. 3/4: When solicited with play, Spike growls, snaps, and pursues the other dog while continuing to growl and snap. INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake: 28-Feb-2019 Summary: Shy, allowed handling MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial: 3-Mar-2019 Summary: Allowed handling ENERGY LEVEL: We have no history on Spike so we cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment. At the care center, he displays a medium level of activity. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: Level 1 Behavior Asilomar H - Healthy Recommendations: Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Recommendations comments: Single pet/no dog parks: See DOG-DOG. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES: 15-Mar-2019 Progress Exam HAD A BATH ON 03.15.2019 14-Mar-2019 Progress Exam hx: acs reports loose BM BAR P) monitor; no meds at this time 13-Mar-2019 Progress Exam HAD BATH 03.13.2019 8-Mar-2019 Post Op Exam SO Post op exam Skin -- incision site is clean and dry. A healing sx site P continue to monitor post op 6-Mar-2019 Spay/Neuter Summary Pre-surgical exam, anesthesia, and surgery performed by ASPCA. Green linear tattoo placed lateral to incision. Start 1 tablet carprofen 100 mg sid po x 2 days. 3-Mar-2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 3 years Microchip noted on Intake? NO Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : Found dog walking on street; brought by in police who said that the dog was easily leashed Subjective: little shy; hesitant to come out of cage; bright and alert Observed Behavior - comes up to outreached palm; easily scratched ears but does not seek; PE easily done with minimal restraint Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - none Objective P = 120hr R = 40 BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: mild to moderate dental tartar PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MI with 2 down MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment apparently healthy Prognosis: good SURGERY: Okay for surgery * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adopt@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 * NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM * Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog.

[popliar]

quick thoughts on the bts spotify mixtapes

aka i talk a lot of nonsense

Rap Monster: Careful to play by mixtape rules, but also the most eclectic and diverse mix in terms of genre and time. Bon Iver AND Aphex Twin AND Sade AND Chet Baker. Plus! Pre-OKC Radiohead! I love this nerd sob. I think it kinda reflects who he wants to be, it’s his aspirational self - broad-minded, genre-crossing, able to draw influences from the past as well as look ahead to current/future trends, a little edgy in a geeky way. OR as I think of it - Namjoon as college kid AU: the soundtrack.

Rap Monster’s Heavy Rotations Film - Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy PRBLMS - 6LACK - FREE 6LACK 143 - Musiq Soulchild - Aijuswanaseing I Love You - Lido - I Love You High and Dry - Radiohead - The Bends My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker - Chet Baker Sings Karaoke - Drake - Thank Me Later One Mic - Nas - Greatest Hits Swim Good - Frank Ocean - Swim Good CPU - Raury, RZA - All We Need Really Love - D’Angelo - Black Messiah U-RITE - THEY. - U-RITE Baby Blue - King Krule - 6 Feet Beneath The Moon About You - xxyyxx - Xxyyxx By Your Side - Remastered - Sade - The Ultimate Collection Rain - Razah - Rain Cleanin’ Out My Closet - Eminem - The Eminem Show Déjà Vu - TWENTY88 - TWENTY88 Perth - Bon Iver - Bon Iver

Suga: Look at this focus and discipline! Just the adherence to form and theme and its brevity make it stand out. There's nothing like super underground or surprising here and I'm wary of saying this expresses something personal the way Namjoon's does - but this is a good solid 'snapshot of the genre'. Also I'm just so unreasonably pleased both he and Namjoon included Nas.

SUGA’S Hip-Hop Replay N.Y. State of Mind - Nas - Illmatic XX POWER - Album Version (Edited) - Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy New God Flow.1 - Album Version (Edited) - Kanye West, Pusha T - Kanye West Presents Good Music Cruel Summer The Way I Am - Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP Losing Out (feat. Royce Da 5’9) - Black Milk, Royce Da 5’9 - Tronic My Moment (feat. 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Jeremih) - DJ Drama, 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Jeremih - My Moment (feat. 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Jeremih) HYFR (Hell Ya F***ing Right) - Album Version - Drake, Lil Wayne - Take Care (Deluxe) This or That - Prod. by Statik Selektah - Reks, Styles P, Termanology, DJ Corbet, Freeway, - Rhythmatic Eternal King Supreme Ali Bomaye - The Game, 2 Chainz, Rick Ross - Jesus Piece Bugatti - Ace Hood, Future, Wiz Khalifa, T.I., Meek Mill, French Montana - Trials & Tribulations (Deluxe) Notorious Thugs - Amended, 2014 Remastered Version - The Notorious B.I.G. - Life After Death (Remastered Edition) [Amended] Work Out - J. Cole - Work Out (Clean Version)

J-Hope: Looser adherence to theme and form, maybe a freer expression of personality? Seems like a good mix of stuff he genuinely likes without having overthought it. This is a fun one and I forgive The Chainsmokers because I for real gasped when I saw he included Blue (!), ASAP Rocky's Fashion Killa (!!) and Diddy & Faith's I'll Be Missing You (!!!!). HE’S MY FAVE FOR A REASON YOU KNOW.

J-Hope’s JAM Sunday Candy - Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment - Surf Beware - Big Sean, Jhene Aiko, Lil Wayne - Beware One Love - Blue - One Love i - Kendrick Lamar - i YOUTH - Troye Sivan - Blue Neighborhood (Deluxe) Dance On Me - GoldLink - And After That, We Didn’t Talk Fashion Killa - A$AP Rocky - LONG.LIVE.A$AP (Deluxe Version) Talk - DJ Snake, George Maple - Encore Knock Knock - Mac Miller - Knock Knock - Single Cinderella (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) - Mac Miller, Ty Dolla $ign - The Divine Feminine Fakin It (feat. Ofelia K) - Kaskade, Felix Cartal - Fakin It (feat. Ofelia K) Sidewalks - The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar - Starboy さくらんぼ - LOVE IS BORN ~13th Anniversary 2016~ - Ai Otsuka - LOVE IS BORN ~13th Anniversary 2016~ I’ll Be Missing You (feat. 112) - Diddy, Faith Evans, 112, Bad Boy’s 10th Anniversary- The Hits Paris - The Chainsmokers - Paris Closer - The Chainsmokers - Closer No. 99 - Joey Bada$$ - B4.DA.$$

Jin: I like how this is split into two halves, like a cassette with a side A and a side B, divided down the middle with some beautifully subtle and understated self-promo - never change Jin!!! At the same time Idk how personal this one is either. The mix of pretty mainstream hiphop with pretty mainstream  top 40 and rnb is solid but very safe. Like he figured out who we expect him & BTS to be, and goodnaturedly played along. (That said there is a lot to be said for playing safe, as we get to the maknae line playlists...)

Jin’s GA CHI DEUL EUL LAE? Lost - BTS - WINGS (LOL I HATE JIN) Weight in Gold - Gallant - Ology Black and Yellow - Wiz Khalifa - Rolling Papers 6 Foot 7 Foot - Lil Wayne, Cory Gunz - Tha Carter IV (Deluxe) Rap God - Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP2 Black Skinhead - Kanye West - Yeezus Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake, Majid Jordan - Nothing Was The Same (Deluxe) It’s Definitely You - V, Jin - HWARANG, Pt. 2 (Music from the Original TV Series) (JIN IS THE #1 PROMOTER) Viva La Vida - Coldplay - Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends Fix You - Coldplay - X & Y Kiss the Sky - Jason Derulo - Kiss the Sky Ain’t Giving Up - Craig David, Sigala - Following My Intuition (Deluxe) Party - Chris Brown, Usher, Gucci Mane - Party Love Right Next To You - Karina - Love Right Next To You

Jungkook: He is an adorable baby who loves soft things AWWWW! This is just... the softest mix ever. And I wanna know who got into the Eels first, him or Jimin? Who introduced them to the Eels, of ALL THE BANDS IN THE WORLD? This is way too long and sleepy for me to enjoy for more than a couple of songs at a time, it’s just not my style tbh. But I find it really endearing and genuine. No posturing.

Jungkook: I am Listening to It Right Now DNA - Lia Marie Johnson - DNA ILYSB - STRIPPED - LANY - Make Out I Need Some Sleep - Eels - Meet the EELS: Essential EELS 1996-2006 Vol.1 Beautiful Lies - Birdy - Beautiful Lies Dear No One - Tori Kelly - Foreword Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae - Corinne Bailey Rae Ghost in the Wind - Birdy - Ghost in the Wind What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber - Purpose (Deluxe) Clouds - Before You Exit - Clouds - Single Lullaby - Arco - Coming to Terms Dream Lantern - RADWIMPS - Your Name. Nandemonaiya - Movie Version - RADWIMPS - Your Name. Heavy Weather - Bilie Marten - Heavy Weather Oasis - Jasmine Thompson - Oasis Boyfriend - Acoustic Version - Justin Bieber - Believe Acoustic Colors Of The Wind - From “Pocahontas” - Tori Kelly - We Love Disney Theme of Mitsuha -RADWIMPS - Your Name. 7 Years - Jasmine Thompson - 7 Years Lost Boy - Ruth B. - Lost Boy Mannequin - Yuna - Chapters (Deluxe)

V: I - I don't know what's happening here and I refuse to acknowledge it. (I LOVE YOU TAE but oh. my. god. 0_0)

V's Join Me Advice - Kehlani - SweetSexySavage (Deluxe) Undercover - Kehlani - Undercover Distraction - Kehlani - SweetSexySavage (Deluxe) CRZY - Kehlani - SweetSexySavage (Deluxe) I Wanna Be - Kehlani - SweetSexySavage (Deluxe) I Think of You - Jeremih, Big Sean, Chris Brown - I Think of You Castle on the Hill - Ed Sheeran - Castle on the Hill Shape of You - - Ed Sheeran - Castle on the Hill Piece of Mind - Kehlani - SweetSexySavage (Deluxe) Do U Dirty - Kehlani - Do U Dirty Crash (feat. Pell) - Skizzy Mars, Pell - Alone Together Alcoholics - Skizzy Mars - Alone Together Comb - Skizzy Mars - Alone Together Recognize (feat. JoJo) - Skizzy Mars, JoJo - Alone Together Fantasy (TEEMID Remix) - Alina Baraz, Galimatias, Teemid - Urban Flora (Remixes) I Will Be There - Agapornis, Come & C, ChocQuibTown - I Will Be There Falling Into You (studio version) - Hillsong Young & Free - Youth Revival Acoustic Heart Attack (Snakehips Remix) - Flight Facilities, Owl Eyes, Snakehips - Heart Attack (Remixes) Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy - Songbird Creep - Karen Souza - Karen Souza Essentials

Jimin: Idky but this seems like exactly the sort of playlist a guy his age would be into? It's a fun mix again. AND EELS AGAIN WHY AND HOW. This lacks the period diversity of Hobi's but otherwise seems like a good counterpart. Like. It’s fine. 

Jimin's Joah? JOAH! Pillowtalk - Zayn - Men's Health: Beach Body Workout Motel Pool - Travis Garland - Travis Garland Stayin Out All Night - Wiz Khalifa - Stayin Out All Night Private Show - T.I., Chris Brown - Paperwork (Deluxe Clean) Lot To Learn - Luke Christopher - TMRW I Need Some Sleep - Eels - Meet the EELS: Essential EELS 1996-2006 Vol. 1 Alive (feat. Coucheron) - Kehlani, Coucheron - You Should Be Here You Should Be Here - Kehlani - You Should Be Here The Way (feat. Chance the Rapper) - Kehlani, Chance the Rapper - You Should Be Here Let Me Love You - DJ Snake, Justin Bieber - Encore Mark My Words - Justin Bieber - Purpose (Deluxe) Fa La La (a cappella) - Justin Bieber, Boyz II Men - Under the Mistletoe (Deluxe Version) Coffee - Miguel, Wale - Coffee face the sun - Miguel, Lenny Kravitz - Wildheart (Deluxe Version) Shape of You - Ed Sheeran - Shape of You i hate u, i love u (feat. olivia o'brien) - gnash, Olivia O'Brien - us Lost - Frank Ocean - channel ORANGE (explicit) Never Be the Same (feat. Jay Rock) - Ty Dolla $ign, Jay Rock - Beach House EP So Cold - Chris Brown - Graffiti

Overall winner: hyung line by a M I L E.

[fictoryismine]

NIGHT SKY CHANGING OVER HEAD

C H A P T E R   T W O : Deafening Thunder (AO3) (FFN) Prologue (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) 

Chapter 1

Makoto spent a lot of time worrying about Ami, who was getting busier all the time, trying to finally get into med school. She had met the pre-requisites and maintained a high enough grade average to apply a semester early, but she had said she wasn't quite ready. She knew that what Ami had really meant was that she wanted to graduate with her friends. She'd told her not to let them hold her back, but Ami just smiled and said she was enrolled in some extra credit high school courses that would give her the upper hand. Still, she hardly had time to talk anymore outside of battling youma.

Mako was torn, she didn't want to smother Ami and push her further away, but at the same time if she was still making an effort then maybe at least some of the time Ami would say yes to seeing her. She didn't want to be forgotten but didn't ever once want Ami to give up her dream, either. Mako was a lot of things, but selfish was not one of them.

She was proud of Ami and knew that she would be a great doctor. Especially since she'd been taking care of them for years, and was always looking up medical terms on her computer and in her mother's medical journals. It was Ami who had suggested that they might all have post traumatic stress disorder. If it was true, it would explain a lot, the trouble sleeping,  nightmares, flashbacks, jumpiness, numbness... Even Rei agreed; if it was anything like what they used to call shellshock, it made sense. After all, they were technically soldiers.

Makoto knew she probably had something going on even before she became Jupiter. There was more to it than just losing her parents. Ami had suggested that she had symptoms of survivor's guilt. She had watched the crash happen and had been helpless to stop it. It explained why she tensed up when airplanes flew overhead. She had once yelled at Usagi when she kept on about how fun an airshow would be, when she wouldn't take no for an answer. That kind of sound just got to her. It explained why sometimes she was okay with going to see fireworks but not if kids threw firecrackers down an alleyway, and why she was almost shaking when she'd walk to school on trash collection day. The garbage trucks would be coming in from both directions, boxing her in on either side of the street. Even with headphones and music turned up on she could feel the sound of the air brakes in her chest the whole way there.

But they all had their things that set them off. Minako couldn't stand police uniforms. Rei really hated hospitals, though that had more to do with her mother than anything Sailor Mars had gone through. Ami and Usagi just went blank sometimes.

----

It had been while first reading up on PTSD, that Ami had received a call from Michiru.

Since the senshi had met The Three Lights, Haruka had become positively dysphoric. Michiru hadn't known what to do for her panic stricken partner. She confided to Ami that the two of them had begun to miss a lot of school, because Haruka wouldn't get out of bed anymore, insisting nothing looked or felt right. When Michiru had asked where this came from, if someone had said something, Haruka had shook their head and said with a scowl, "They didn't have to, just look at me."

Michiru admitted to Ami that she had read some of her androgynous partner's darker thoughts and was afraid to leave them alone. They complained that all of their clothes were wrong and so was everything else. Haruka also wouldn't swim anymore, even alone with Michiru in the mansion's private pool. They had dealt with depression before, but not like this. They were dodging calls from their track coach, and hadn't been to practice in over a week.

Knowing how much was at stake if this got out, Michiru had sworn Ami to secrecy. Ami knew that the normally-private, older girl wouldn't've come to her for just anything. They both must have been really hurting to even consider voicing their pain out loud. The outer senshi were always so much more independent than the inner, but for all their money, they couldn't buy trust.

Ami admired how Michiru felt Haruka's sorrow so deeply that it affected her as well. She wondered if all love made emotions feel so amplified. With some searching, she had been able to find resources for Haruka's identity crisis. It seemed to help both of them, just by having a word to associate with how Haruka felt and to weigh options, to know they weren't alone, even though Haruka had decided that nothing was likely to come of it, since the other racers and musicians would certainly notice if they began to grow a beard. The famous Mugen Academy prodigies were both in the limelight and there were expectations to uphold. It was never really discussed further.

Sometimes Haruka felt more one way than another, but mostly they stayed in the middle. Equally male and female, while feeling both and neither. Straddling that fine line was simultaneously the harder and the easier option. Ami hoped that Haruka could find some sort of peace.

She offered them her support, and appreciated their faith in her. She had never had reason to give her own gender identity much thought, and was glad to have something new to research. She promised to print off anything that seemed useful.

When it came to other issues, while she was happy her research could help her friends, Ami realized that self-diagnosis could be extremely dangerous, but it wasn't like they could really go to the doctor either. If they went to psychiatrist and said, "I'm a princess of my own planet, I have magical super powers, I talk to cats and they talk back, I've died at least twice, I've travelled through time, saved the world, and frankly I'm having problems dealing with all of this," there was no way they would leave that building ever again. That was a lot of pressure, too.

They couldn't even go to a regular hospital. Once, as Sailor V, Minako had realized that she was already in less physical danger, so had she run out of the waiting room before even putting her name down. Every newspaper in the city would try to pick up a story of how a teenage girl who had a black eye and multiple fractures in the evening could be gone without even a mark later that night. The tabloids would eat up a story about super heroines whose broken bones healed perfectly within a day, third degree burns that left no scars, or injuries that started to heal by the time the nurse had even given them a clipboard to fill out. So even though it wasn't ideal, in an emergency, all the senshi really had to rely on was Ami's medical knowledge.

---

It happened while the senshi had been battling at a television station, not an uncommon location; the enemy seemed to realize humanity's relationship with the media, and often tried to use this dependency to their advantage. On this particular day, what they had thought was one big youma had turned out to be three smaller youma, modeled after some kind of Russian nesting dolls.

"Matryoshka," Ami had informed them unnecessarily.

Finally, the girls seemed to have things under control, until one of the monsters got away. After getting a quick nod from Venus, Jupiter ran after it. The other four scouts stayed to fight the two larger enemies, while the smaller one made its way up the winding stairwell to the broadcasting tower to brainwash all of Japan, and the station's international syndicates. It seemed that both of the other youma had merely been diversions.

Jupiter cornered it and made the mistake of unleashing her Supreme Thunder Dragon in a very small soundstage, not taking into account that her attacks were so much stronger now than when she was in junior high. Her plan had worked; it had killed the youma, but the reverberation sent the tall cranes used for filming and other heavy equipment crashing down around her, even bringing down the rafters.

"Well, shit," she swore, all she had time to say, as a pile of twisted metal descended on her. There was no way she'd get out of that beam's path in time. Feeling like everything was happening in slow motion, Makoto felt herself being hurled backwards, falling to her knees helpless with terrible ringing noises, and then silence...

The other senshi must have heard the crash, but were still fighting the other two youma. She smiled, knowing she'd taken the bastard down with her in a final blaze of glory, closed her eyes and embraced the darkness.

---

"JUPITER!" Sailor Moon screamed, as the rest ran towards her. Makoto had detransformed from her green and white uniform and was back in her civilian clothes which were already soaked with blood.

"Mako, wake up! Mako-chan, please wake up."

She didn't move, just lay there limp and unresponsive, while emotions ran high. Minako stared, horrified and guilt-ridden for having given the go ahead for Jupiter to leave the group. It wasn't their typical protocol, but Jupiter was stubborn, and they'd all known this was the only chance they had. If anyone was capable to duke it out in a battle of pure strength, it should've been their Jupiter.

Mars made eye contact with Venus, and tried to reassure her the best she could, that she had only done what she thought was best for the team. If their princess was distraught and their leader was blaming herself, it would only be a matter of time before everything else fell apart.

Voice shaking, Rei told her again and again, "You did the right thing," desperately hoping that her words would sink in and Mina would eventually hear her. "You did the right thing."

She couldn't bear to look down at their mangled friend, so she just kept her eyes locked with Mina's. She tried to drown out the cries of her princess, which felt like they were cutting right through her. If she didn't focus on Mina, she would start crying as well. Someone had to stay strong. 'It's what Jupiter would want,' she told herself. There'd be time to mourn for Makoto later.

Usagi had weaved her way through the wreckage and was weeping against their friend. She had lost her footing on the slick ground, not noticing that she had slipped in blood. She held Mako's unresponsive hand, whispering unintelligible things about bento boxes and arcade scores, still pleading with her friend to wake up.

Mercury had gone virtually unnoticed during these moments. Ami had grown very still. She stood frozen in place, knowing that there was no way even Mako could have survived this. She must've had over a thousand pounds of metal on top of her, and it seemed as though she had probably taken the brunt of it on her head.

She tried to brace herself for the worst possible outcome. It just didn't seem real. She felt like something was cracking inside her chest. The first time that Jupiter died, at D-point, had been a different kind of pain; there had been purpose in it, going against Queen Beryl. They were kids back then, and they hadn't been as experienced. They didn't know all of what they now knew. This time should've been easy. This youma was nothing they hadn't fought before. This was all some terrible fluke.

.  .  .

She thought about the last time she had seen Makoto, just a few days before. They had shared a picnic outside the library. Makoto had been very cheerful, and Ami had noticed her green eyes brighten immediately. Mako had brought a soft gingham blanket to spread on the ground, red and white checkerboard, just like the movies.

"Did you eat lunch yet?" She'd asked excitedly, as they sat on the plush grass of the campus lawn. Makoto understood that Ami could get so caught up in a book that she'd often forget to feed herself, and must be starving.

"No, not yet. I've been busy studying since this morning." What time was it anyway? She and Makoto had seemed to notice at the same time that it was nearly sunset. Ami had found it had added a certain ambience. It had felt strangely romantic.

"It's almost dinner time. Betcha didn't have any breakfast either?" Ami shook her head. "Well, it's a good thing I'm here then!" Ami had seen Makoto like this before. She definitely had a new crush and must be thinking of someone special.

When Ami had asked who the boy was, Mako had told her with a big goofy smile, that there was no boy, as she placed a shiny new blue bento box in front of her. It matched Makoto's green one. Ami hoped it had been picked out special just for her, but didn't want to spoil their time together with silly questions. Besides, even if it had been, there would probably be a red, orange and pink in her cupboard at home.

"No?" She asked, intrigued.

Even if it hadn't been something just for her, she knew how incredibly sweet it was for Mako to make them a lunch to share, especially when they were both so busy. Makoto's eyes were practically sparkling. Clearly there was someone. Ami wondered if maybe there was a girl then?

"No. Just wanted to see you." She straightened her shirt and tucked a long tendril of hair behind her ear. "There's nobody else in the world I'd rather see." She giggled, barely able to contain her joy.

'It's not me, it can't be me, not really...' Ami blushed. 'Mm... but what if it is?'

For a split second she felt as though her heart might explode. She rationalized with herself that they were friends. She hoped that she hadn't looked too far into things. She should be happy with what she had right there in front of her.  She should be grateful for the picnic. She didn't need anything else. She thought about it some more, and for easily the hundredth time, something in her said, 'It's now or never, you should kiss her.'

Despite water being her element, Ami was never one to just jump in. Ever analytical, she always had to test things out first. She started small and moved towards Makoto, until their shoulders touched.

Makoto looked startled. "Sorry, I take up so much damn room." She tried to turn herself into tiny a ball at the edge of the blanket and pouted. Ami felt awful, and though she'd never admit it, she did find it a little bit funny to see Makoto trying to force her long legs into such unnatural positions.

She decided if she couldn't be sure whether or not Makoto was interested in her, then it would be terrible to risk their wonderful friendship for her own selfish impulses. Especially when Mako had been so quick to pull away. Ami wanted nothing more than to sit brushing right against her, to feel the warmth of her skin, but the timing just wasn't right. It was never right. She wondered if she had lost her chance with Mako-chan by wanting things to be perfect.

They had sat in awkward silence for a moment, but Makoto's mood had changed when she remembered the strawberry kiwi tarts she had made. She'd even moved back to the centre of the blanket, and listened to Ami talk all about her studies. She'd encouraged her to keep up the hard work and to let her know when she had some spare time, insisting she really needed some more days like this.

If Ami's last memory of Makoto was a lot like the dates she'd seen in movies, it would have to be good enough. She was so grateful that Makoto had been so persistent that day, and that she hadn't cancelled on her again.

Ami would never have been able to forgive herself. She thought about all the times she'd hung up on a sad sounding girl who just missed her friend, rationalizing that she really had needed to study; they were older now, and had certain obligations. No, that wasn't fair, Makoto had been running her own home for years. She had been no stranger to responsibility and she still always made time for the others.

Ami hadn't known that she really wouldn't have a second chance. She wanted to run over and do all she could, but nothing would help. Her doubt cemented her feet to the floor, paralyzing her with fear. She had no idea how much time had gone by. She was suddenly aware that her face was wet. She didn't know how long she'd been crying.

---

"I need you to tell me what to do now." Venus heard Mars pleading for her next orders.

Mina tried to shake away her guilt, Rei was right. She was still the leader, and still needed her troops to act. Gently she asked, "Mercury, I-I know this is bad. But right now I need you to scan the room. Did the youma get away?"

Mercury snapped herself out of it, remembering that, above everything else, she still had a job to do. She forced her hand to her ear and her visor manifested itself onto her face. The presence of evil was gone, the radio signal was behaving normally. Mako had stopped it in time.

There was something else too. Steady beeping. A section of her screen focused on the green waves of an ekg monitor.

She looked at Makoto again through the cobalt lens and the stinging of her tears, to realize that though her vitals were weak, she was alive. Unconscious, and just barely clinging to life, but alive.

She started to tremble. "Mars, Venus help me move these off of her, she's... she's still alive!" Rallying, she instructed Mars to melt the weak points in the metal, so they could be made into smaller, more manageable pieces. She told Venus to use her chains to help move the metal so it wouldn't burn her. Sailor Moon stayed with Mako, seemingly unaware that her friend was still alive. She was holding vigil, still bawling, but those crystalline tears had performed miracles before.

Through her weeping, Usagi, didn't notice the others moving the mess of scattered debris until it was half cleared, but once she realized, she helped push the final pieces of metal off of their friend. Things already seemed less dire once they moved all of that weight off of her. Her breathing was shallow, and she had probably cracked a rib or two, but Ami was thankful that­­ Makoto wasn't awake for the pain. She could tell that her pulse was already little stronger. She scanned her again, this time with an x-ray function.

It would've been easier to tell what was actively bleeding if they could have washed her face. It was evident that her skull had been bashed in pretty badly. There was a protrusion above her eyebrow.

Mina tried not to panic. "Aw shit, she's got a huge fuckin' goose egg."

Ami continued scanning her and answered, "It's a type of cranial hematoma."

"Two black eyes. Oh God! Ami! She looks like a panda! That's gotta be brain damage."

"It's called periorbital eccymosis and the bruising behind her ears are battle's sign." It seemed accurately named.

"She's breathing though, right? So what are we waiting for?"

"She has some internal bleeding around her brain. I don't know if there is a clot or not." Mercury crouched beside Makoto and carefully watched her screen. "Venus... How sharp can you make your metal?"

"Sharp."

"Sharp enough to drill through bone?"

Minako breathed. "Yeah." That couldn't be a good question.

"Without shattering it?"

"I-I think so?"

"Her brain is swelling. We might have to drill a tiny little hole to let the blood out and alleivate the pressure if her senshi healing doesn't kick in soon."

"O-Okay. You're the boss here, Doc."

"If I gave you specifications, could you make a little cyliandrical--" Minako looked completely out of her depth. "Um, if I say how big, could you make a little hollow tube-pipe-straw thing to let the blood out?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Ami had tears in her eyes. "I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Is the swelling still not going down?"

"I'm trying to use my ice powers to cool her down, but," her voice cracked, "I-I don't know how fast it's supposed to change or how much swelling is too much swelling. Any is probably too much, right? But--"

"But?"

"I don't remember what part of her skull to put the hole."

Rei swallowed hearing that. Now was not the time for Ami to lose her nerve. "Scan her again, and try to remember!"

"Right," Ami mumbled, breathing to centre herself. 'In the name of Mercury, please--' She needed to pull herself together, if there was any chance Makoto could be saved, it rested on Ami. Makoto needed her right now. She ran the scan again.

"Oh! Oh, thank god!"

"What is it?" Mina demanded.

"The swelling's starting to go down. I think she's going to be alright."

With the immediate danger posed by the head injury out of the way, Ami declared that their next priority was Mako's broken leg. The sailor scouts had remarkable healing, but it would still do her no good to have her leg heal crookedly.

Following Ami's instructions, Rei straightened the limb. There was a sickening cracking noise, and she cringed, feeling a coldness in the pit of her stomach, but Ami nodded at Rei. "That's supposed to happen when you set bones."

There was no saying how long Makoto would be unconscious, but they knew there was a good chance that she'd wake up soon. They had done everything they could for her. Mercury had seen the blood and cerebrospinal fluid at Mako's ears, and was sure she had fractured her skull. Her head had been caved in in one spot. There were still dips and dents where the metal had been, but her computer was showing strong brain activity.

"Look at all those cuts." Usagi whispered.

"Most of these contusions and subcutenaous lacerations are simply cosmetic. They will heal. It's the damage we can't see that I'm worried about." Ami frowned. The scouts recovered best in their sleep. It was as though weeks of healing could take place in an hour. Ami had a theory that since one day on the moon was actually about twenty-eight Earth days, maybe it really was like the equivalent of a month went by when Usagi used her crystal healing. They also seemed to be getting stronger the longer it had been since their connection to their planetary powers had been awakened in them.

Ami watched Mako's vitals. She knelt next to her, wondering how her friend who had always seemed like an amazon of ancient myth, so much larger than life, could look so small and frail right now. She had never seen someone so broken.

Mars felt a little callous even bringing it up, but reminded the others, "We gotta find a way out of here, ASAP." With the explosion and terrified people running out of the building, it was only a matter of time before the station's owners and the police would come to investigate exactly what had gone on there.

"It could be extremely dangerous to move her too soon," Mercury protested. "We could end up hurting her much worse. Brain injuries are often accompanied by spinal injuries. I don't think it will take too much longer."

"I'll, uh, I'll call the Outers," Usagi volunteered, making herself useful, and contacting Haruka on her communicator.

---

Michiru paused in the hallway, hearing Haruka's voice in the other room, not sure if it was the telephone or communicator. She figured out quickly, by the tone and the playful flirting, that it must be one of the inner senshi.

"Oh, Kitten, it's you... You mean we missed all the action? Sounds like fun... You need a getaway car? Well, I am the fastest..." Michiru poked her head into the room, to see Haruka laugh before suddenly going pale and grabbing their keys. "We'll be right there," they promised, and abruptly hung up.

"Oh gods, what happened? Who's hurt?" Michiru asked, hurrying out the door after Haruka, pulling on one shoe as she went. She'd have to put on the other in the car.

---

Makoto had been stirring a little in her sleep. "It won't be too long before she wakes up," Ami promised. She wished that she could stay resting longer, what she really needed was more time, but Rei was right. They needed to get out of there.

There was a groan.

Makoto realized she was laying on the floor. She felt like she'd been hit by a train. 'What the fuck happened, where the hell am I?' She looked down at the wet, red linoleum. 'That ain't good.'

She dizzily opened her eyes and saw the world going on without her. Everyone was being very animated for some reason. Minako and Usagi were jumping up and down and even Rei was smiling weakly.

'But, Ami?' She panicked. 'Where's Ami?' She tried to make sense of it all. It felt like no one had said anything for an eternity. Her head was killing her, and her ribs ached. It hurt so much to even breathe. She looked down and understood why; Ami was wrapped around her torso, holding on like she'd never let her go.

When the smaller girl finally released her from her grip, Mako tried to roll onto her side and fight through the pain, but was hit with a wave of nausea. Once she had finished throwing up, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and attempted to sit up again.

"Fuck-- My head. I'm so dizzy," Makoto complained groggily, or tried to. She didn't hear the words come out of her mouth, and wondered if she had said anything at all.

Mina's mouth moved, maybe asking how she was doing, and she handed Mako an opened pack of peppermint flavoured gum from her purse. It was much appreciated. Their leader was nothing if not resourceful.

Ami stooped down to ask what was wrong, but Mako could only see her lips moving, and she panicked. Her eyes widened, trying to piece together the few facts she had gathered. "I THINK I..."  the already loud girl tried. Still unable to hear herself, she yelled louder, "I... I DON'T THINK I CAN HEAR!" nearly knocking Ami over with the unexpected boom of her voice.

Mako saw Rei mouth something at Mina.

"Now neither can she!"

Ami winced at their poor taste, and a confused Mako yelled, "WHAT?" which, of course, only made Mina and Rei laugh harder. Now that they knew Mako was going to be alright, Rei joked to keep from letting go of the tears she was still holding back.

"Did we get the monster?" The others nodded.

A detransformed Usagi got a good glimpse at her maimed friend's face. The tears welled up again. She tried to speak, but Mako couldn't hear a word.

"Usagi, are you alright, Princess?" Usagi nodded and sobbed harder. "Then nothing else matters."

The adrenaline still pumping through her veins, Makoto tried to drag herself up onto a knee before her, ready to swear allegiance to her future queen all over again, when she discovered her leg was broken. The excruciating pain swept through her, and she toppled over and blacked out.

When Makoto came to again, there was so much fear in her bright, green eyes, one of her pupils larger than the other. Ami held her, unsure if she was trying to comfort herself or Makoto.

"Did-Did I get the monster?"

Ami nodded through her tears. It had finally hit her; no matter what obstacles lay ahead, Makoto was alive. She laughed to herself. She had never been so happy to be wrong before. After a moment, she took out her handheld mini-computer and quickly typed: "Just temporary."

Mako read the words and nodded.

Ami didn't know for sure if it was true or not, but she had just looked so lost. For now, she felt like Mako needed to believe in something. They could figure the rest of it all out later.

Outside the others heard the screech of rubber tires against the asphalt. Haruka and Michiru rushed in in their civilian forms. They had called Mamoru from their car-phone and he was going to meet them a couple blocks over with his car. Haruka's only fit four, maybe five, people, and if Mako had still been unconscious when they got there, the tall girl might have needed the whole back seat to herself.

Haruka took one look at Mako's grotesquely swollen face and immediately turned on Minako. "What the hell happened," she growled. "No good has ever come of you five separating! You know that! You're supposed to keep each other safe! You're supposed to protect the princess! Fuck!"

Minako was too emotionally exhausted to even try to defend her decision. Too many times she had begun to say, "I didn't think that..." and had it twisted into, "That's right, you didn't think!" She just couldn't handle that right now. Makoto was alive, and Haruka hadn't been there. Instead, Mina thought about Rei making sure she kept it together, and how comforting it had been to feel her warm hand in hers when she had nothing else anchoring her. Rei was glaring at Haruka, ready to say something if given the signal, but it didn't seem worth it. She closed her eyes for a second and wondered if the miko would let her stay at the shrine again tonight.

Mako was still dazed but eventually noticed that Haruka and Michiru had arrived. Haruka tried to hide the worry on her face. "Hey, how you doing?" she asked the injured senshi.

Mako tried to whisper this time. "Sorry, I can't hear you. I got hurt and I'm really dizzy." Haruka hugged her gently, ever so softly clapping her on the shoulder, and then mimed jauntily punching and flexing, pointed at Mako, winked and gave her a thumbs up.

Mako smiled. She figured Haruka was praising her for a fight well done. She knew Haruka never gave a compliment she didn't mean, so she'd take it, whatever it was. Michiru looked her over, saw the big bump on her head and looked over all the cuts and bruises before pouting and kissing her on the cheek. Mako blushed, wondering if she'd been more hurt than she thought, if even the Outers had been worried.

Ami held out her computer, where she had typed out: "Not enough seats in car. Rei, Mina, Usa go w Mamo."

It was hard to focus on the small text. Though Ami held the device very still, it looked like it was jumping around, but when she was done reading she nodded. Usagi looked like she might start crying again as she gripped Mako's hands in hers, before Mina led her off.

A few seconds later Ami finished typing again, and passed her a screen that said: "Haru, Michi, you & I going to mansion. Closer." Mako nodded again.

Michiru waited with Makoto in Haruka's yellow car, while Ami and Haruka backtracked. They spent the next few minutes scanning the rooms the senshi had been in, and tearing down the remaining security cameras. While they were disabling the security footage, Haruka suggested they take the tape from the soundstage, but Ami figured it had probably already been damaged. Maybe she just didn't want proof of what had happened, didn't want to be forced to watch someone she loved be so brutally injured, or relive her moment of weakness, when she had hesitated to act.

As they drove, Makoto lay in the backseat. There was a lot of conversation going on up front that she couldn't hear. She figured it was about her situation, and Ami catching them up on any new threats. Feeling nauseated, she focused on not throwing up on the new leather interior, and instead on their victory.

She closed her eyes tightly and waited for the car to stop. It did, abruptly. She noticed that Ami was now behind her, trying to hold her upright and rubbing her shoulders. It helped a little. They'd pulled into the garage of the sprawling mansion, and parked beside Haruka's bikes and other cars.

As they entered the house, Mako recognized the frame in their doorway -- a gift from Minako that she had helped with. Normally folk art wouldn't have been the couple's style, but they hadn't been able to say no to the cross stitched gift. Haruka found it hilarious. Mako had been taken by surprise when Mina had brought her the pattern and asked how hard it would be to change the E's into O's.

"Home Swoot Home?" She'd asked, puzzled.

Mina had laughed, "Homo Sweet Homo." In response to Mako's raised eyebrow she'd admitted, "It's for Haruka and Michiru." It was a little surprising to see it having such pride of place.

Haruka helped Mako up the stairs. With the pain, and the fog still in her head, she had almost forgotten about her leg, until she tried to stand on it. As Haruka and Michiru helped her to the couch, she caught Hotaru quietly peeking around a corner, like a little ghost, always hiding and watching. Mako smiled weakly and gave a half-hearted wave, giving the dark haired girl away.

Haruka and Michiru said something to the child, likely explaining that Mako had been hurt in a fight, but was okay now. It must have been past Hotaru's bedtime, because the three of them disappeared, leaving her with only Ami.

.  .  .

---

"Should I use my healing powers on Makoto?" Hotaru asked, as Haruka and Michiru tucked her into her bed.

"Did you brush your teeth and put all your books in your knapsack ready to go?"

"Uh huh," their daughter answered, distracted "Why's her face all lumpy? Was she hurt really bad?" Hotaru was careful to only say such a thing in private where no feelings could be hurt. She was after all, being taught the proper Kaioh etiquette, with just a hint of Tenoh humanity. She had learned that there were no wrong questions, but there were definitely better ways to ask.

"We weren't there, but something heavy fell and she got clunked on the head. You don't have to worry though, Ami is taking good care of her."

"Oh, if she was still hurt, I was thinking maybe I could fix her?"

Michiru shook her head. "Absolutely not."

Haruka softened. "It's so so sweet of you to think of that, but she'll be okay."

"Promise?"

"Yes." They said it at the same time, though Papa didn't look convinced.

"Did you see it in the future?" she asked, sensing that doubt.

Michiru comforted her, "Yes Hotaru, my mirror says she'll be fine."

"But what if maybe she's okay because I healed her and the mirror forgot to show you that part?!"

Haruka laughed. That kid could find a loophole like nobody's business. They blamed Setsuna teaching her about multiverse theory. -- If there was a world somewhere with extra dessert why couldn't it be this one? Maybe in this timeline this Hotaru needed extra candy.  -- Ami expanding her vocabulary with words like utmost and imperative also didn't make her come off as any less precocious. Sometimes her motives were a little off, and it could be hard to tell if she was just in a particularly helpful mood or being a show off for the others, but tonight she understood the fear in everyone's eyes and hoped she could set things right. She never felt like she did quite enough to be taken seriously.

Michiru cautioned, "You know how sick you get when you heal someone, taking all of their pain onto yourself like that. Mako-chan got hurt in a big way, so her powers had to work extra hard that's all. She just needs to rest quietly for a little while."

"Actually, there's probably a couple people in this house who should be resting quietly," Haruka teased, "You gotta go to school tomorrow and it's way past your bedtime kiddo."

Ever defiant, Hotaru argued, "Why do I even have healing powers if you won't let me use them?"

"It would just be a lot of unnecessary pain for such a small body, that's all. It would use nearly all your energy up." Mako would wake up fine tomorrow, and Hotaru would miss two weeks of school and probably wind up half an inch shorter. The child's age was still fluctuating based on stress. "And besides, you just started feeling better again."

Hotaru's healing was a powerful ability that came with a cost, though no one really fully understood how the repercussions worked. It was like sucking the venom out from a snake bite to save somebody else; they got to go on with their lives and never look back, but you were stuck with the bad in you and no one to save you from all that poison in return.

Michiru's powers felt like that sometimes, too. It was a blessing and a curse. She couldn't shut it off, and if she did ever find a way she knew she'd essentially be useless. She listened to everyone else's broken thoughts all day, the secrets they kept to themselves, the lies they told each other and the truths that cut to the bone, so by the time she lay her head down, she couldn't sleep, because she was reliving their pain and no one was around to listen to hers.

"This was just an accident. You can use your powers when it's an important fight, or if the princess gets hurt," she tried to soothe the frustrated child.

"Or Chibi-usa," Hotaru adamantly reminded her.

Michiru tried her best not to roll her eyes. "Right. Sorry."

"If the princesses get hurt," Haruka agreed.

Michiru frowned. She had never liked the idea of the child being used as some portable battery in case Serenity burned herself out. Their little former cyborg was not just some deus ex machina on hold if things got rocky; she was so much more than merely their reset button for when things went the worst kind of wrong.

Haruka and Michiru kissed their daughter goodnight, and walked around her room turning off her favourite lamps, as they did every night. It was their job to make sure the lights worked in case she woke up scared from her frequent nightmares. Michiru smiled, overhearing Haruka's thoughts: 'Good thing we're millionaires or the electric bill in this place would be nuts. Growing up, it was always turn those lights out and shut the door, we're not heating all of Japan. Fuck, I sound like my dad. I'm nothing like him, I'm not. I'm not like either of them. Hotaru can be anything she wants. She--' Michiru fiddled with a switch. "The nightlight plugged in by your bed is working."

"1-2-3! Everybody put your hands together--" They clapped and the sound activated light turned on and off. "Just like Michi-mama's audiences." Haruka remembered first going on tour with Michiru and being genuinely impressed by the house lights and applause.

"Are we good to leave now?" Michiru was always worried she sounded annoyed when she asked that, but she would stand in the doorway all night if the delicate girl wanted her to. She had before.

"Mhm." She nodded in the dim room. With a big yawn she told them, "If Mako-chan needs me, wake me up and I'll do it."

"You're a good kid, you know that? Your heart's always in the right place just like your mama."

"Which one?" She feigned puzzlement. Lately that, was her favourite joke.

'And your comedic timing is just like your papa,' Michiru thought with a private smirk.

---

"Alcohol?"

Ami looked up, dazed, "Huh?" She hadn't even noticed that Haruka had come back into the room. They'd said something.

"Alcohol," Haruka repeated.

Ami was still shaking.  "No, I think I'm alright now. Thank you."

"I meant for her--" They gestured behind them on the sofa, where Mako had drifted off again. "Maybe thin her blood a little so it won't clot."

"Oh." Ami thought about it for a moment. "It could dull the pain for her a little, but if she's already dizzy and a little dehydrated it won't help. Also, if I'm trying to monitor her short-term memory it might be distracting."

"I usually have some 'senshi strength' pills around, but we used them up last time." In an ironic twist, Sailor Mars, the fire senshi had been burned alive and almost hadn't made it.

"I mean, I could ask if she wants a drink."

"If it helps, tell her we've got that fancy hard cider she likes." They had told Makoto about drinking it in Europe and when she expressed an interest, they'd decided to have some imported.

"Perhaps we could start her with water for now?"

Haruka nodded. "I'll go get some."

---

The next time she woke up, Makoto noticed how red Ami's eyes were. She had been crying.

'No one else seemed injured? Did she get hurt too? Or was she just scared for me?' she wondered. Everything was still fuzzy.

Eventually, Ami got up and came back with some kind of first aid kit. She set to work, cleaning Mako's wounds. A lot of the smaller cuts had already healed themselves, leaving only dried blood. Makoto didn't mind the stinging. Normally, she liked any excuse for Ami to accidentally lean against her, even though this wasn't quite what she'd had in mind. She knew what a delicate touch the angelic ice senshi had, and knew she was lucky to have such a devoted healer in her life. Ami really was going to make a great doctor one day.

Periodically, Ami would discard a blood soaked cloth, until a pile started to build up. Mako wondered exactly how banged up she really was. It seemed that the pile was never ending, but it was the all the blood from her ears that had run down her neck that she didn't expect. 'Shit.' It dawned on her, 'I definitely almost died today.'

Ami looked absolutely exhausted. Makoto took Ami's hand in hers and tried to think of something hopeful to say, but she couldn't think of anything that would help. It seemed that she was out of the woods now, but what could she say? She wanted to thank her, to tell her she loved her and couldn't live without her, but she also thought that she might throw up again. Instead, she just closed her eyes.

Ami's skin always ran a little cool, but Makoto found her touch incredibly soothing. She was glad to finally have an excuse to hold her hand. With communicating so much harder right now, she craved any extra affection. She tried to rest, unsure whether or not she had actually napped, but she opened her eyes when she felt Ami's hand leave hers, and Ami move off of the couch.

Ami helped her sit up and propped her up with a big cushion behind her back, and helped her drink, tilting the glass for her. Michiru had searched through the kitchen for a bendy straw, but it wasn't something they'd had on hand. She typed, 'Hungry?' but Makoto shook her head. She was, but with all that had happened, she was scared she'd be sick again.

---

Michiru reached out with her psychic senses, glad when she felt Ami and Makoto still safe in her home. Of all the inner senshi, they were two she and Haruka felt closest to. Maybe it was the way Mercury and Jupiter knew how to find calm clarity and peace in the rain, much like herself and Haruka, while the other three only felt nervous energy during a storm. Even after all that time around Makoto, Usagi was still afraid of thunder.

Or maybe it was just that Ami could have deeper conversations with Michiru, Mako could train harder with Haruka, and they were both able to sneak off a little more, because they weren’t being followed by cats.

Haruka had also sensed right away that Mako-chan was at least a little bi-curious, and was flattered.

"Well that's obvious," Michiru had said, when Haruka mentioned it. "I could have told you that, even without my mirror or the churning of the sea." She had sensed a rare comradery in her. There really was just something innately queer about Makoto, she thought.

Haruka always said that they wished that Michiru had been there the day they'd first met. Makoto had tried to protect Usagi from being hit by their bike, and had instantly won a great deal of respect from the racer.

Really, they had both liked Makoto immediately, although Sailor Jupiter was another story. The inner and outer senshi had had every reason not to trust each other, but once the talismans were recovered and the messiah was found, everyone was quick to forgive. They all understood that both sides were on what seemed to be conflicting missions, but all had been ready to lay down their lives.

Michiru had to smile. Despite being so close in age, Makoto reminded of her a younger Haruka. They were both very determined and athletic, even if Haruka was never as warm to strangers. She knew that whatever path Mako-chan chose to take she'd be fine, that she would remain kindhearted but resilient.

She worried more about Ami, who didn't bounce back easily from rejection. Michiru was much the same. It was just in their nature, and it had become easier to build walls than to leave themselves vulnerable. Even now, she could sense Ami's trepidation, and her longing for Makoto.

---

Sometime in the night, Setsuna showed up, putting her hand on Jupiter's shoulder to silently provide comfort. Her calm, garnet eyes studied the girl, before she turned and spoke to Ami.

"How's she doing?"

"She's doing better now," Ami answered. "It's just a matter of waiting."

"I'm glad." Setsuna settled onto the loveseat. "And how are you feeling?" she asked, kindly.

They spoke quietly, Setsuna eventually distracting Ami from her worries with a discussion of astrophysics and string theory, when they both tensed up, sensing something.

"Did you feel that?" Haruka asked, slipping into the room with Michiru.

"I think that was Mars," Ami said. The senshi were all able to sense when something happened with the others' powers, whether it was transformation, or something else.

Unaware of the conversation around her, Makoto spoke up, "I think I just felt Rei."

"Some of us should go check on her," Michiru suggested.

"Somebody oughta call her and Mina," Mako urged. Michiru laughed; it seemed she wasn't missing much.

---

"We should get her out of those bloody clothes."

"There's nothing here."

"She can't borrow Haruka's clothes if she has a head injury; they're WAY too loud." Some of the patterned shirts were enough to give Michiru a headache.

There were a lot of conversations going on that Mako just couldn't keep up with. As it turned out, reading lips was not nearly as easy as it sounded, though it seemed someone had checked in with Rei, and everything was under control. After some more back and forth, Ami took Makoto's keys and gave them to Haruka, who sped out the door, leaving Michiru to fawn over the injured warrior, and bring her pillows and more cold drinks, while pulling faces of exaggerated concern, pouting and saying something that looked like, "Poor baby!" and things of that nature.

When it seemed that Mako was as comfortable as they could make her for the time being, Michiru gently guided Ami into the kitchen to talk. Although Makoto wouldn't have been able to hear them, she didn't want her picking up any bad vibes from their conversation.

"You can't keep beating yourself up like this," Michiru began, correctly sensing that Ami was still far more distressed than she was letting on. "It's our sworn duty, we know the danger we put ourselves in."

"I almost lost her again."

"But you didn't. She's in our living room, mostly in one piece. I understand that with all that's happened, that tonight may not be the night, but you really need to tell her how you feel. Not everyone gets a second second chance!" she urged.

---

They were sitting with Makoto again, when Haruka came back with some clean clothes from her apartment. They seemed to have just grabbed whatever had been on the top of the drawers. None of it really matched, but Haruka figured it didn't matter. It wasn't like Mako would be going anywhere tonight.

"Really?" asked Michiru, bemused.

"What?" Haruka replied, gruffly. They had done what had been requested of them. They tossed the keys back to Ami.

"You grabbed track pants, a sports bra, a halter top with sequins... a pair of socks, no... wait..." Michiru dug through the bag, "three pairs of socks, and two pairs of underwear?"

"I don't like going through people's things. So what if it doesn't match? God Michiru! Is she really going to go to a night club with a fractured skull?"

Michiru started to laugh, knowing that her partner was only so snappish about this, because they really cared for Mako. Sometimes, it was a nice reminder that Haruka wasn't actually as callous as they tried to be.

"You're right. Thank you for going to get those for her." She kissed their cheek.

Makoto's eyes drifted over the assortment of clothes. 'Oh, these are mine?' she thought. 'Haruka must've gone to my apartment, then.'

Ami typed out: "We were lucky no one saw you on the way here, but you can't go around with all that blood on you."

Makoto read it and Ami typed again: "Are you well enough to have a shower on your own? How is your leg? Still dizzy?"

With Ami helping her walk to the bathroom, Makoto tried to put some weight on her leg. "Leg's fine!" she yelled.

It wasn't fine, exactly. It was pretty far from it, but the throbbing pain wasn't as bad as it had been at the station. She could feel that it was healing. It dawned on her that she hadn't seen her reflection yet. She hobbled around until she found a mirror.

She recoiled at her reflection, then winced, not wanting Ami to realise just how hideous she felt. 'Well, I never was going to be prom queen.' There was something bulbous over her eyebrow, faded bruises of what had once been two black eyes, and dried blood along her hairline.

Ami typed: "Still dizzy? Do you want someone to help you shower?"

Makoto thought to herself, 'Just my luck, this might be the only time I can get Ami in the shower with me and I look like this!' A wry grin spread across her face, making the cut on her lip split open again.

'Maybe I could get Ami AND Michiru in the shower with me?' She chuckled a little, though it startled her that she still couldn't hear herself. She'd never actually go after Haruka's girl. Even jokingly she knew that was out of line. Michiru was just so stunningly beautiful though, her friends were lucky to have found each other.

Makoto would also never betray Ami like that. She knew they weren't together, and even though, technically seeing other people wouldn't be cheating, it felt like it would be dishonest to her own heart. It seemed like it would only hurt whoever she was with. She had come to terms with Ami not feeling the same, but she couldn't help but wonder what things could've been like, and wasn't ready to move on.

Ami handed Mako the handheld computer again, the question still there: "Still dizzy? Do you want someone to help you shower?"

Mako shook her head no.

Ami suddenly looked like her day catching up with her. She looked so defeated. Makoto didn't know what else she could offer. She hugged her and held her as snug as she could without re-injuring her ribs. When she released her, Ami looked a little brighter.

Ami slipped out of the room so Makoto could shower. Mako just hoped her broken leg would hold up and she wouldn't pass out or something embarrassing. She could see the headlines now: "Local giant found dead, naked and in an unflattering position." She laughed to herself again, hoping it hadn’t been too loud. Usually it was Minako who laughed at her own jokes. She kept the door unlocked, so if she slipped or something happened they wouldn't have to break the expensive and heavy looking door, but she hoped everyone would have the good sense to stay out. If she could do something herself, she would. She had always gotten by without help before.

Water against her skin always felt so good. It felt like a warm rain, soothing her sore muscles, making her feel stronger, invigorated, and cleansed. Not to mention, it was the closest she could get to connecting with her element without standing outside in a storm. Haruka and Michiru's shower -- and this was just their guest shower -- was especially luxurious.

Makoto knew how exceedingly wealthy her friends were, but most of their material possessions went unnoticed by her. She didn't care about the dozen cars and motorcycles in the garage. She thought their roomy kitchen was gorgeous, considering they never actually used it -- they had so much storage, a huge pantry and top of the line appliances -- but she had had no idea they had such an amazing shower. It had clearly been made with tall people in mind.

She hated when she'd use a shower that she had to duck under to keep from bumping her head. This should've been a dream come true, but today she was nervous to stand for too long with her leg and shaky equilibrium, so she just kind of sat at the edge of the tub and tried to scrub what was left of the dried blood off her face.

She held one of the towels that had been set aside to her mouth to try and clot the fresh blood drizzling from her lip. Even after all this time the taste of her own blood always made her gag a little. She wondered why Ami hadn't bothered to stitch it, but figured it would heal if she left it alone. She kept poking it with her tongue, which made it hurt, but then it hurt, so she would poke it with her tongue. It was a vicious cycle. 'Ugh. I'm worse than an animal.' she thought, as she poked at it yet again.

All the blood made her hair matted and her scalp feel sticky. She washed it until it was no longer tacky, and the water ran clear. She felt a big crusty chunk of scab and decided not to scrub or pick at it right now, since it was still sore underneath. For all she knew Ami had had to stitch her half her brains back in and she'd be ripping at the sutures, undoing all the hard work Ami had put in trying to keep her dumb ass alive.

After turning off the water, she sat and air dried for a moment, before beginning to dress herself. Her reflection looked a little better already. She reasoned that it was probably for the best that she didn't know how bad she looked when she first woke up from this. It just would've been one more thing to worry about.

---

Haruka took Makoto's dirty clothes to put in the wash. They had wanted to just throw them in the garbage but Michiru had stopped them.

"Why isn't the new maid doing this?" she asked, following Haruka into the laundry room.

"Oh, yeah..." Haruka blushed. "She quit."

Michiru sighed in exasperation. "Dammit, Ruka! Have you been seducing the help again?" Haruka's face fell as they looked away. "Without me?"

Haruka let a small sheepish smile grow, relieved they weren't in any real trouble. "Sorry."

"That's all you have to say?" Michiru wasn't through, not by a long shot. "Because I KNOW I didn't actually get cheated on and that this was just a very stupid lapse in judgement, and a breakdown in what should have been simple communication. Right?"

Haruka gave the slightest nod. "Right."

"Well?"

"I didn't really plan on this to happen this time, honest."

Michiru's tone was deadpan. "Let me guess, you just tripped and fell into her?" She raised her eyebrow. "Because I can only buy that excuse once."

"No, I just, we were sorta talking and-- I don't know. I didn't mean to..." They sighed. "Well, maybe I did mean to."

"Do you know who gets cheated on?"

"I 'unno? Ugly peopl--"

Michiru interupted before Haruka could answer, "Not me, that's who! Know who else doesn't get cheated on? People who refuse to let cheating be a factor in their relationships!"

"Okay."

"People with self-esteem! And certainly not models who used their influence and personal inheritances as the start-up for their spouses' fortune!"

"Yeah, I shouldn't've done it."

"Especially not if the public is watching a couple, so that prospective partners need to be vetted as if they were plants from the media! Because the press would have a field day. Does all this seriously not sound familiar to you?"

"Yeah. No. I mean, it does." Haruka felt like a kid in the principal's office, trapped by symantics and double negatives. "Sound familiar, I mean."

"Look, I don't want to hear about this around the country club. You know all the maids talk amongst themselves about this kind of thing, and they're a lot less subtle than they think they are. We fire a maid, someone hires a maid, and then she'll literally air our dirty laundry. Do you understand?"

"Yeah." Haruka agreed quietly.

"I'm not some floozy trophy wife, as if I couldn't find ten people by tomorrow. Ugh, but that's not the point." She attempted to regain her composure. "I'm not someone who is dishonest with you or who holds back from you. I said that we're either in this together or we're not."

Their voice shook slightly, "I said I was sorry."

"But you didn't say it wouldn't happen again." Michiru was more than a little exasperated. If Haruka had called to say, 'Is it okay if I have a threesome tonight?' Michiru would've said, 'Have fun.' It didn't need to be this difficult.

"I--"

"It's so sketchy! We're their employers! We've talked about this!"

Haruka stood solemnly, not in trouble but still not sure of what needed to be said.

"I'm not mad, and if I was mad I wouldn't be mad that you slept with her, I'd be mad that it took a week for you to tell me. We have rules; you call me if something comes up." She threw up her hands in frustration. "Ugh... Let's just go back to what we used to do, and only seduce cute hotel staff and hook up with fans after our shows. That way at least the poor girls will still have jobs and their husbands or boyfriends -- girlfriends, whoever-- won't tell them to quit." That had always worked for them in the past.

"Sorry."

"We've been over this. You have to keep me in the loop... " She shook her head, amused. "She wasn't THAT cute, was she?"

"I don't know."

Playing now, Michiru asked, "You slept with her, but don't know if she was cute?"

"She was, but--"

"But?"

"It was more that she thought I was cute."

That made sense. Haruka's ego could be insatiable. Years spent thinking so little of themself made any compliment from an outside influence that much stronger.

"Couldn't it have waited? I had clothes I needed washed."

"Sorry. I... I love you. You know I love you," Haruka said, kissing her neck, and burying their face in long turquoise locks. They whined, "I would do anything for you. Please don't be mad. I can't take it when you're mad at me."

"Yeah, I know. I love you too." She was a little annoyed that they'd pull the puppy dog eyes at a time like this, but it felt cruel to keep it up any longer. "You still screwed up, though."

Haruka could be a little stunted. There was a thin line between enjoying the fun and rebellious playboy life style, the money and freedom to live exactly as they'd like with few repercussions, while still being the same person with now-fading memories of expecting to have the shit kicked out of them every time they made a mistake. Sometimes they still did what they wanted to do, but treated any calculated act of rebellion as carefully as a crime scene, anxiously expecting to pay for it dearly when the other shoe dropped, but never knowing exactly when that would be.  

Michiru blamed herself. When Michiru had been newly coming into her telepathic powers, she had tried to help clear her new battle partner's mind of pain and anxiety, and instead, may have made their sense of proportional fear and empathy a little askew. It was easy for Haruka to act when they didn't worry about consequences.

It had been done with the greatest of intentions, and the then much younger Michiru had admitted that it was experimental. Haruka had consented in the hopes that it would help.  Now, Michiru realised that pushing the memories of those traumatic events into the deepest reccesses of their mind had been a bandaid solution at best, and sometimes she worried it had done more harm than good. She had erased the worst of the details, and now she was responsible for their bravado and recklessness.

"I'm sorry," Haruka said again.

"I know, but you wouldn't have to be sorry if you thought about anything for more than three seconds before you did it." Changing the subject, Michiru held up Makoto's bloodstained shirt. "So, should I toss this or wash it?"

"We should probably try to soak it anyway."

Michiru agreed. If the shirt had belonged to them, they might have just thrown it out. They might still have to if it stained, but Michiru knew that Makoto didn't have a lot of money for clothes and would be upset if they were just tossed. They were used to money and being able to replace things easily, but she knew Mako-chan would want them to at least try. She was a clever, resourceful girl, and knowing her, she would probably try to salvage any undamaged fabric scraps for some craft project later.

"Now, I've go to go out there and act like nothing's wrong infront of Ami and Makoto. Luckily, they've got enough to deal with right now." She laughed sardonically. 'Yeah, real lucky.' "Seems you're only off the hook because Mako gave herself brain damage."

"If it helps, it wasn't anything special."

"Uh huh."

"It could've been pretty hot, except, um--"

"Ha, what? Did this one go straight for your chest?" That never went over well.

There had been one girl who had seen Haruka shirtless -- there hadn't been much to hide -- and didn't say anything or make the connection until she had reached down into the athlete's boxer shorts. Then she had been surprised and disgusted. That had been a bad day.

Haruka didn't know what was worse, being constantly reminded that someone saw them as a girl, or effortlessly passing as male and at the last second being unable to deliver. It all hurt if they thought about it long enough.

It was strange, despite their similar heights Hauka and Makoto were very different body types. Makoto was an unexpected balance; she may have had bigger muscles, but frankly, she had bigger everything, and didn't lack any feminine curves. Haruka, on the other hand, didn't have her bulk. Their frame was instead much lighter and built for speed and endurance in that way that made runners seem streamlined everywhere except for their thick thighs that pumped like pistons. Haruka had always been straight up and down for the most part, but that didn't make it any easier to be misgendered all day.

"Yeah, it was just, I dunno, weird. She was all 'Ooh I've never been with a girl before, oh sex with a woman, wow this is so feminine and female and girlie and...' Bleh! I couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't shut up about us both being wild and crazy gals. So, I kept my clothes on and could hardly look at her, it was only a minute... I would've told you but I felt all gross on top of gross about it. You know?"

It had been humilating. It hardly seemed fair, of all the things to focus on: piercing eyes, great hair, perfect skin, dashing smile, broad shoulders, strong arms -- why did the rest even matter? Haruka always felt if a girl wanted to be with a guy, then that must mean Haruka was lying to her, and if she wanted to be with a girl, Haruka was still lying to her, but the truth seemed out of reach. People wanted the racer but it felt impossible if people knew them for who they really were -- to be the object of someone's desire, more often turned out that they were the subject of someone's curiosity, instead. Either way, talking about their body always killed the mood and waiting for someone to find out on their own felt dangerous.

Multiple choice question: Are you... a) a woman b) a man c) none of the above d) all of the above

How could they be expected to answer something like that? No one ever really wanted to be with something uncategorizable.

Well, Michiru did, and she sounded every bit the art history major when she'd talk about them like they were carved out of marble. She said what always sprung to mind was 'Venus and Adonis' by Antonio Canova.

-- When Minako had heard that, she insisted that she had never looked like the statue, and argued that the poem was better. While the others argued about more common things like which was better, the manga or the anime that came out only a couple years later, these two compared statues and sonnets spanning centuries, the mythology behind their shared history, mostly laughing in agreement with how very wrong the earth kingdom's descendents had gotten things. --

The piece wasn't connected to the senshi, but the fact remained that two hundred years later, it was still a timeless thing of beauty, and when Michiru looked at Haruka she could see the same wind tossed shaggy hair, the soft features conveying that familiar aloof expression -- though the eyes were too tender for anyone to really believe they didn't care -- the tall, lean frame and boyish androgyny hidden behind a leaf like no one's fucking business. That was art. Haruka was art.

"Are you alright now?"

"Yeah, of course I am," they tried to save face, "but it wasn't worth it."

"How other people perceive you isn't really a reflection on you, you know? People kind of see what they want to see. You're not doing anything wrong."

"Reflection... Heh, mirror pun?"

"No." She laughed. "I suppose I'm not that clever." 'Though, maybe Haruka isn't either if they thought they could get anything past a psychic.' "Let's leave this to soak, and go check on the others." With a playful spank, she led the way out of the laundry room.

---

Done with her shower, Makoto left the bathroom, still nauseated. The room was spinning, and she needed to sit again. The heat from the rising steam had made her feel weak. She started dragging herself towards the living room.

It had only been a few hours since she had woken up after the accident, but already Makoto found the silence overwhelming. Even other times when things had been eerily quiet, she had still heard that buzz of white noise, her own pulse in her ears, that whoosh that a rush of blood makes -- she could hear herself and at least feel like she existed. Whenever she had other headaches she would hear that strange, dull throbbing noise, where everything was way too loud, but now there was nothing.

It was surreal, and when the pain started going away she realized that she was beginning to feeling a little isolated, even with everyone around. It was like being invisible, with everyone talking over her. She didn't remember much about waking up at the TV station, but she swore that Rei had looked right through her. She'd have to remember to ask Ami about it later.

Exhaustion hit her while she was still only halfway to the living room. She didn't want to yell again, or keep forcing her leg, so she hit the blue button on her communicator. A very concerned Ami came rushing over, nearly tripping over some of Hotaru's toys.

"What's wrong?"

Mako mumbled, "I'm just really tired." She was also in such tremendous pain that she'd noticed herself shaking a few times through out the night. On top of being shaky, her vision was a little blurry but no different than when she normally took a blow to the head, the cut on her lip still stung a little, her teeth ached and her jaw was sore from clenching it so much, she felt like she had a kink in her neck, but was afraid to crack it just yet.

She didn't want anyone to know just how far from alright she still was. She wondered if the outer senshi wanted what was left of their evening back. She had no idea how much time had passed; she couldn't focus on anything with the dizziness and the accumulation of more individual aches than she could count. She was just so emotionally drained from worrying about how things would end up but there was no reason to pour her heart out when she was already having such a hard time communicating. She was lucky; she knew that Ami was usually pretty good at guessing what she needed.

Makoto thought that tired sounded believable enough, though. She was on the verge of passing out. She wasn't sure if it was from pain or fatigue. She also felt like if she stayed here much longer she'd start crying, and didn't want anyone to see that. If she could go to sleep, maybe she could stop worrying and start fresh when she woke up.

Haruka and Michiru had suggested that wherever they ended up, it was best for Ami to stay with Mako overnight, and if she had somewhere to be or it got to be too much then to make sure the other senshi took shifts, at least until this all got figured out.

Ami and Makoto were welcome to stay at the mansion in one of their guest rooms for however long they needed but, the Outers would be leaving early and gone until late. They had to take Hotaru to school early in the morning, then Michiru had to teach a music lesson and Haruka had to check on something on one of the cars at Kameda Motors. They weren't really sure what Setsuna was going to do, but they knew she was always very busy too.

Ami wondered if Mako might feel more comfortable at home. She typed out: "Would you prefer to go home or stay here?"

"I wanna go home. If it's no trouble, I mean."

It was settled. Ami and Michiru would take care of some loose ends, and told Haruka to go on ahead and help Makoto to the car.

Outside, Makoto watched Haruka lean against the garage and nervously flick a lighter against a cigarette, using her hand to shield the small yellow flame from being extinguished by the wind.

Mako knew that Haruka only smoked when she was really stressed out. Sure, there were plenty of times she wanted to, but it wasn't worth it, not if she could potentially lose sports endorsements. It would be setting a horrible example if Hotaru ever saw, but sometimes it still felt like it was well deserved despite the risks. After all that had happened that night, Makoto realized that she must be barely holding it together.

She'd known that the Outers cared about her, but she hadn't thought that typically cool Haruka would be in shambles over her. It surprised her a bit, but she was thankful to be reminded that someone loved her so much even platonically. There had been times while she was living on the streets when she had worried that, if she perished of hunger or froze that, with her parents gone, no one would notice if she died, that she would lay there nameless and there would be no one to claim her or say a kind word once they had laid her to rest.

Makoto decided she would have to think of something to bake the Outers once she had healed, find some way to say thank you. On top of how upset Haruka was, she had also picked her and Ami up, given them full run of their home, gone back to her apartment to pick up some clothes, and now was going to drive them back.

Makoto knew that Haruka knew that she had smoked back when she was in a gang. It had definitely made her look much more menacing but once she had started to try to be better, a real hero, someone her parents would've been proud of - closer to the path she wouldve been on if they were still alive - she had stopped, for the most part anyway.

Ami and Michiru did not approve of smoking. Haruka and Makoto had often joked that their judgemental scowls were even worse than the surgeon general warnings printed on the side of the pack. Immortal or not, they'd rather not deal with the lectures. God help them if Mamoru ever found out.

However, tonight, that didn't stop Mako from holding out her hand for a smoke. Luckily, they both knew that Ami and Michiru would still be talking for some time. She snapped her fingers to get Haruka's attention, and Haruka took the small paper box back out of her jacket pocket. Makoto took the lighter and lit up a cigarette. She inhaled deeply, savouring the crisp taste of tobacco and slowly blew out that familiar grey smoke.

She hadn't smoked with Haruka in months and it was always a strangely intimate social ritual between the two. Once Haruka had snuck some expensive cigars back from tour and hadn't wanted to smoke alone. They had driven out into the country one autumn evening and sat smoking on the hood of the car while watching the sunset. They even stopped at a little road side cafe on the way back.  

It had been their little secret. They usually didn't say much during those quiet moments, but with Mako's hearing loss, it wouldn't've done them much good to say anything now either.

After a minute or two, Haruka heard Ami and Michiru coming down the path towards the edge of the driveway where the car was parked. They snuffed out what was left under their feet and kicked it to the edge of the lawn; it was dark anyway. Haruka would get up early to find the cigarette butts before Hotaru had a chance to.

With the taste fresh in her mouth, Makoto remembered the gum that Minako had given her and gave Haruka a piece. Haruka saluted her. She mouthed a quick, 'Thanks,' fumbling it out of the loose foil wrapper and popping it in her mouth.

They piled into the car, Mako's leg still bothering her. It felt much better straight than bent, but she'd be home and could sleep soon; then it would be alright. She noticed that the others must be talking again when Ami blushed and Michiru playfully slapped Haruka. Maybe it was better she couldn't hear yet, Mako decided, because knowing them, it was probably something filthy. 'Poor Ami.'

---

It would be the first night Ami had really stayed with Mako. They had sleepovers at the shrine all the time, but there was always a group of them.

Ami decided that tonight would be different. 'Mako always puts everyone else's needs first. She spends so much time making sure that everyone is comfortable and cared for, that she sometimes just goes without, but now I'm going to take care of her for a change.' It was the least she could do after screwing up so royally.

She unlocked the door while Haruka helped Mako up the stairs. Her leg was a little better but stairs were a completely different movement. Ami was so much stronger than she looked or ever got credit for, but Haruka still insisted on going with them.

"After the day she's had, all she needs is her to break the other leg when she falls down the stairs!"

Ami agreed, "My mother says that statistically most accidents do happen close the home."

Makoto winced as her foot thumped down on each step. Pain radiated all the way up her leg and hit every nerve. She was feeling dizzy again. She cringed, gritting her teeth, and hoped she wasn't whining, but she still couldn't hear herself. If she whimpered, the other two were polite enough to spare her pride and pretend she hadn't.

---

Michiru had decided to stay with the car again. It wasn't really safe to leave such an expensive vehicle in a neighbourhood like this. There were no working parking metres but plenty of 'No Parking' signs. The parking metres were bent sideways, the glass of the digital screens cracked. She assumed someone had vandalized them and hoped they'd hit the jackpot. She pictured the small silver coins pouring out and what that would mean to someone who truly had nothing. Michiru had never liked that their friend lived so far from the others and in such a dangerous area, but Makoto was strong and proved it time and time again. Tonight was no exception.

She wondered what was taking so long. She heard a siren a couple streets away and remembered why she was guarding their convertible. She wasn't worried though. She would be able to talk her way out of anything, so on the off chance a meter maid or police officer told her to move, she could just stall for a moment until Haruka came back. Even if the police looked up their files, they wouldn't find anything.

Periodically Michiru would ask favours of Ami. She would flirt and tease but realized that Ami was truly always happy to help no matter how busy she was. When it was straight research she would usually put everything else on hold and start immediately, but sometimes Michiru wanted something else.

"How good are your hacking skills?" she had asked once in hushed tones. She didn't like to take advantage of the younger girl’s good nature, but it was for the greater good.

"I can probably get in anywhere," Ami admitted shyly.

"Sometimes when Haruka and I are after a youma, but have to drive there... We might get some speeding tickets, some parking tickets, and Haruka's license is about to expire. Anything you can do for us?" she'd purred, "because we can make it worth your while..."

Ami had blushed, understanding the pretty obvious implications. She took a moment to seriously consider the offer and then made very reasonable demands. "A new computer, so I can discard the old one. I don't want this traced back to me, and depending on how difficult this is and how long it takes, a little compensation."

Michiru had smiled, proud that her little protégé knew how to negotiate, 'If she could just come out of her shell, and learn how to use sex to get what she wants, then maybe one day she'll be almost as ruthless as I am.'

She'd licked her lips a little before saying, "Well, money is no object and neither is anything else you want." Ami had tried to answer but was left weak in the knees, her breath hitching. Michiru bit her lip then asked in a breathy voice, "Is there anything else you want? Haruka can be part of the package."

Despite being a little light-headed Ami firmly rejected her advance, "No, just what I asked for, but is there anything else you wanted?"

Impressed with the counter offer and not wanting to give up her upper hand, Michiru changed tack. "Just make sure we have clear records. You can leave a misdemeanor or two so it's not obvious, and tell us which, but clean it up. I'll have one of our maids drop off your new computers. Just let me know what I owe you."

Michiru had left, leaving Ami stupefied. She'd taken the bus home and started immediately moving her files onto disks so she could get rid of the evidence. She could admit to herself that she found the whole thing flattering, and she was curious. She knew that there were few women as ravishing as Michiru, and it was true Haruka was very handsome in their own right. Either one would give her quite the story to tell, but it seemed strange to sleep with both of them, especially when they had each other and were so very experienced.

'Even if they don't really care for me, they must still be at least a little bit physically attracted to me to ask, right?' Ami thought to herself. She envisioned their hands all over her and wondered if anyone would guess what an interesting fantasy life she led.

If Michiru offered again, she would continue to politely decline, but knew that she could do much worse, and perhaps she'd check everyone's grades before throwing out the computer. She wouldn't do much maybe just turn some of Usagi's D's into C minuses. Every little bit helped.

---

Makoto spit out her gum in the small garbage can under the kitchen sink. She wondered what she had done with the first piece Mina had given her earlier. Maybe Haruka would find it in the backseat and blame Hotaru. She wondered whether Ami had taken it from her like some child who couldn't be trusted to not swallow it. Maybe she had swallowed it. Minako had given her a piece, hadn't she?

All of the things that had happened at the television station felt very unclear to her. Either way, she worried that she still smelled like smoke, so she limped to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

She looked at herself in the mirror, noticing that the swelling in her face had gone down. At least the cut on her lip had finally healed properly. She held the wall as she moved, as she had done many times before. Anyone new to her apartment probably wouldn't have noticed that only one side of the wall had any plants or frames on it. She had triple re-enforced the trim to hold her weight better -- something sticking out of the wall to catch herself on the way down before passing out. She had made a clear path from the bed to the bathroom. There were a few nights where she had had to hobble her way through with an eye swollen shut and half blind in the dark before and she wouldn't knock anything over this way.  

She changed out of the scratchy sequined halter top into a comfortable t-shirt, and spritzed herself with some perfume to mask the smell of cigarettes. What she really wanted another shower but she still didn't quite trust her leg. She had already faced one near death experience. She really didn't need the threat of Ami showing her photographs of diseased lungs -- knowing Ami, she probably did actually carry some around for this very occasion. The worst was that thing where someone had to smoke through a hole in their neck. That made her skin crawl. Even with the senshi healing, the future doctor made some very compelling arguments.

Makoto was eager to get back into some of her old routine. She believed in mind over matter, and while she actually sort of enjoyed everyone pampering her, she was going to try to do what she could to get back into the swing of things. She just needed a good night's sleep.

She had been so tired and hadn't understand why Ami kept waking her up every time she'd get comfortable enough to fall asleep in Haruka's car or in their mansion. She seemed to remember hearing something about not letting people with concussions fall asleep just in case they never woke up. She shuddered at the thought.

It had been too long a day, and knowing Ami she would probably want to keep an eye on her another couple hours, so she boiled some water. She only had instant coffee, but she knew that Ami would probably drink much worse in her career. Makoto certainly had encountered a lot of really terrible vending machine coffee while she was living on the street. It was always bitter and scalding but better than nothing.

The machine at the train station was perpetually out of milk and cream. She wondered how often they refilled the machine and if it could have expired, but it didn't matter, it was the cheapest around and she would have done just about anything to keep warm.

When there was money she had sometimes rode the subway all night until it closed for that short period between when the graveyard shift ended and the early commuters would be back. She wanted to lay on the subway grates and feel the warm air through but was always afraid if she fell asleep they would burn her in some freak accident. Sleeping out in the open would be dangerous for so many other reasons. So instead she'd just buy a disgusting coffee and wait for morning, though not a lot of places were open that late. She would often turn over the empty styrofoam cups in parking lots, looking for that one lucky cup that hadn't had the sticker-stamp peeled off yet.

Sometimes when she had been particularly hungry she'd say to someone leaving the restaurant, "Sorry to bug you but do you use your stamp card? See, I'm only one stamp away from my free coffee -- thought I had them all but it must've unstuck itself on something somehow." She could usually sucker someone into giving her theirs. A coffee wasn't expensive, but maybe the stamp didn't mean anything to them. She wasn't ready to beg for real money or eat garbage, yet anyway. She always kept an eye out for places that gave out free samples. When she did go to a restaurant she would squirrel away any condiments left out.

She'd go into her bag and think, 'When things get really bad I can always eat my little packet of ketchup, paper envelopes of sugar, single serving of strawberry jam and three individually wrapped after dinner mints.' Once she'd realized that one had slipped out of it's wrapper and gotten covered in lint. That alone had been enough to make her want to start crying. She didn't think she could possibly get any more pathetic.

Once in a while she'd go into a place with free coffee. The mechanic around the corner had one of those automatic drips. It wasn't very good but she'd fill it full of cream and sugar. She tried her best to not to look suspicious, and decided if anyone asked she'd point to a random guy and say she was just waiting for her dad's car to be ready and take off. Sometimes, she'd go act like she was going to sign up for a new bank card and say she forgot her I.D. at home and she'd have to come back. They had bottled juice and muffins. Unfortunately, they also had security guards. She'd heard they had donuts in the used car dealership waiting room across the block, but she'd definitely get caught. Maybe she looked older than she actually was, but sure didn't look like she could afford a car.

Still, she hoped that those grounds from the narrow glass jar would be good enough for Ami. If not, there was plenty of tea. She wondered if she should buy a better coffee maker. Maybe a french press for the real gourmet stuff. While she debated the perks -- ha! -- of different grinding methods, she twisted off the screw top lid and breathed in the contents of the container. It actually smelled pretty good.

Ami tried to get Mako to slow down, but she could be very stubborn. Ami took a pad of paper out of her backpack and wrote: "Don't push yourself too hard."

Makoto gestured at the cups and Ami smiled, likely admitting to herself that she could use the caffeine. She made herself at home, settling in a chair, at Mako's insistance, and Mako sat beside her.

A minute or two later, Ami jolted out of her chair, and Mako turned to see the kettle boiling over because she hadn't heard it whistling. She jumped up to try to sop it up with a dish rag and poured what was left of the hot water into the cups. She had a new worry -- how would she be able to cook if she was deaf? What would she do if she couldn't hear the timer go off on the stove either. 'Maybe hook it up to a blinking light or something?' She frowned, but had already decided she'd refuse to let this stop her. Ami was smart, she'd help her figure out something.

"Y'know, when I first got one of my uh early jobs, the guys there used to tell me not to drink coffee, that the caffeine'd stunt my growth. Wonder how tall I'd be if I could've eaten properly and didn't live off coffee."

Ami said something and laughed before remembering Makoto couldn't hear her. Makoto laughed anyway.

They spent the night writing notes back and forth sliding a notepad of lined paper across the smooth wooden tabletop. There wasn't a phone in the apartment, but Ami claimed that her mom wouldn't miss her anyway. It was more important that someone be with Mako-chan tonight. If the communicator went off in the next day or so, and she couldn’t hear it they'd be in real trouble without their heavy hitter. It was definitely better for her to have someone stay here for the next few days so she could get her rest.

That was how the normally responsible girl reasoned with herself. Beside, if her mother panicked and began looking for her, she'd probably call Rei or Usagi first and they'd have the sense to explain that Mako didn't have a phone anymore. They'd let Ami know right away too. Ami knew she had bigger problems right now. If her mom was angry, then her mom would just have to be angry, and then she'd have to get over it. Ami had fought monsters, had her best friend almost die, and still had to study for mid-terms next week.

She reassured Makoto that her hearing impairment was probably temporary. All of their other ailments seemed to clear up at superhuman speed, probably something to do with whatever minerals or energy came from Usagi's crystal. This was just taking longer because Makoto's body was healing so many injuries at once.

Makoto wrote: "Things would have been so much worse if you weren't there tonight. I'm fortunate to know such a great doctor."

She was used to speaking without much filter. She tended to be a little blunt at times though not necessarily tactless. Writing forced her to slow down and think before she expressed a thought, so before putting ink to parchment she'd sit for a second. She wasn't nervous or tongue tied, judging by the smile on Ami instead of saying the wrong things, it seemed she was saying all the right things.

Ami blushed, and added: "You know I'm not a doctor yet." Though, it was true by this point she probably had more field training than most third year residents.

Makoto thanked her for being there, tonight and always, then underlined the word always and looked at her with pleading eyes. She gulped, and started to write again. She wondered, 'How fucking hard did I hit my head? Either she'll take it as the real deal or think I'm just being weird from crackin' my head open.'

She took a risk and said, "I thought you didn't like writing notes? I thought they gave you hives?" She smiled flirtatiously.

Ami scribbled down quickly: "Not these kind of notes. Love letters." She rolled her eyes.

For a second she was having so much fun Makoto forgot all of the pain she was in. This was her chance, she could write something she could pass off as corny with a kernel of truth.

So Mako drew a heart and wrote: "My dearest Ami, you are always the best part of my worst days. PS: I'm glad I don't give you hives."

Ami was rather touched by the absurd sentiment, even if she was teasing her. She giggled behind her hand.

Makoto was sad she couldn't hear her laugh but it didn't matter, she knew they were laughing together.

Ami took the pen, but was stumped. She couldn't think of anything to write that would top that. Instead, she moved her chair over and hugged her, bunching the fabric of Mako's shirt tight in her balled fist. She kept her pulled close and buried her face against her shoulder, burying her face in her long brown hair. She was embarrassed that she noticed it smelled more like Michiru's shampoo rather than her usual brand. She gasped, mortified when she picked up on the lingering and faintly metallic scent of blood.

Memories of the station instantly reminded Ami of why she had to act, why she felt she needed to make up for lost time, to make up for her grave mistake earlier, and so she took the opportunity to whisper the shaky words, "I-I think I'm falling in love with you. I have been for a long time."

She waited. The confession hadn't broken a spell and cured her, but neither girl was any worse off. Makoto felt her unease and lay her hand against her back, a little unsure herself what would come next. It had been a trying day for both of them. Ami promised herself, the next time she'd say it, she would say it for real, and that Mako would hear it and maybe say it back. For now this was all she could muster -- it was out there now, even in some small way, and that would have to be enough.

Relieved, that Mako was acting no differently, she pulled away.

Mako just smiled and wrote: "I'm tired. Bed soon? Wake me if I can't hear the alarm for class?" She knew that even if she felt one hundred percent better when she woke up (which she didn't think she would), she still wouldn't be going to school tomorrow. She'd have Ami call the school, and work if she wasn't back to normal by then. Ami nodded in agreement. Makoto was thankful that she didn't have any shifts for two more days, and even then might call in sick, but she thought that she could still try to impress Ami by seeming scholarly, even with a broken leg and hearing loss. If Mako still seemed focused on going to class then  would appear like she was devoted to her academics, and she'd still come off as really tough.

She grinned to herself, 'Kino you sly fox!' Makoto saw Ami noticing her smile, and quickly made up an excuse. "Just happy you're here, that's all."

Ami was sure Makoto hadn't heard her declaration, but had anticipated that if she had, she would have to own up to it. Nevertheless, she was grateful to have more time to figure this out. She appreciated her own good sense in not hashing out an all night conversation about feelings when Mako couldn't even properly reply. She helped tidy up, washing the few dishes in the sink. She tore the pages from their metal coil, putting the used sheets of paper into the garbage and her notebook back into her schoolbag for the morning.

"Oh," Mako started, unable to judge her own volume, "Can you--" Her shoulders drooped. She had been about to ask Ami to open the window if it rained, because she found the sound soothing, but had realized all too quickly that she wouldn't be able to hear it after all. "Nevermind."

Makoto stretched her tall strong frame, mindful of her leg and yawned. She changed into pyjamas and got ready for bed. Ami watched as she took her hair out of it's high ponytail and brushed it. She could see her in a reflection in a cheap glass picture frame that threw a lot of glare. 'She's so beautiful. Even after everything that's happened.'

Makoto held out an older shirt that was too small for her, but still too big on Ami, for her to sleep in. Ami bit her lip, noticing that it smelled like her Mako -- like flowers and baked goods, and just a hint of petrichor. Makoto crawled into bed, and a moment later Ami climbed in beside her, careful to not touch her. Mako turned to her and said, "GOOD NIGHT!" just a little too loudly.

Ami couldn't help but let out an exasperated laugh and wonder what the hell she was getting herself into. She lay awake and Mako fell asleep almost immediately, looking very peaceful. Ami didn't know how someone with so much pain could look so serene. She wanted nothing more than to curl up into the brunette’s arms, but instead willed herself to inch away, then rolled onto her side, facing away from her and waited for morning. She rubbed her eyes not sure if they were watering for want of sleep or from the terrible day.

The light was still on, like Makoto had asked. "'Cause you don't know the lay out of the place, and if we both have broken legs, nothin'll get done around here. I've had enough of nurse Mina for a life time." She'd laughed.

Ami must have drifted off, because she woke up a few hours later, feeling as though a tree, maybe a mighty oak, had fallen on her. She was pinned in the faintly lit room and it took her a second to reacquaint herself with her surroundings. She had forgotten that she wasn't in her own bed and that she wasn't alone. Mako had shifted in the night and decided to lay spread out like a starfish across the mattress, inevitably trapping her. Ami freed herself, and the sleeping giant shifted again without opening her eyes.

"Mm...Ami" Mako mumbled, still deep in a dream.

Notes:

   Apologies! I had meant to post this sooner but life got in the way. This chapter was originally even longer but I decided to split it into two sections.

   Next up: We will revisit Rei and Mina's reaction to nearly losing Jupiter, as well as following up on some of Makoto's healing process. It's possible that Ami is not quite as together as she seems.

[dustoffthearchives]

Of Gods and Monsters

Chapter One: I Lie Just To Meet You

Alice was a liar. She had been a liar for as long as she could form thought in any coherent manner. She lied to herself, first, when she suggested that her parents would come back. She lied to everyone when she made up stories – where they were, who they were, when they would return – and even when she claimed the name ‘Shepard’. She couldn’t remember her last name, younger than three when her parents disappeared. In truth, she couldn’t claim that she had ever met them – one or both – as she had only the faintest recollection of a memory of a scent, and the color blue.

Alice had gone through much of her life without a last name, in fact. It wasn’t until she wandered into a library, not looking to learn but finding the desire to regardless, and they requested her last name for her library card. She was sure she had one, but she couldn’t remember – so she made a quick, subtle scan of her surroundings. Books everywhere, names of authors mostly too far to read.

She saw a sheep dancing along the cover of one of the children’s picture books and scribbled down how she thought the word sounded. She had no formal education and only mildly more training; at nine, she could read but only barely and her handwriting would forever be atrocious.

The girl lied so much that she got better at it; she talked her way into school, briefly. She made excuses for her parents that didn’t exist, or if they did they didn’t matter. She had spent so many years devouring every book at the library; she knew plenty but didn’t know how to do a lot of the things that a formal education would have given to her. Her informal education of all things street gave her little patience for formulas and so she disappeared three weeks after enrolling herself in the institute of learning she had chosen.  

Alice was a smart girl, or more she was a clever girl. She may not have known the Pythagorean Theorem, how to spell ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’, the chemical compound that made up boric acid, or who led what revolution when – but she knew how to charm a snake, she knew how to talk around questions she didn’t want to answer, she knew how to shoot a pistol, and she knew how to pickpocket. She knew a few other things, but best not to put all of one’s cards on the table right away.

The thing she struggled the most with at first was the blue glow at the edge of her vision, which grew into a sort of humming in her head. One morning, when she was still very young, her vision shifted and all she could see were dots. Her eyes focused on the dots, which led them to fade but they were still there, though not really. Her mind was projecting what her body felt; nodes of Element Zero encasing reality around her. When Alice realized she was a biotic, she didn’t actually know that word or what it meant. She spent a goodly portion of her young life trying both to hide and control the pulsing in her nerves.

As an orphan discarded with the morning newspaper, Alice had no papers – no form of identification. She wasn’t sure if she had even been registered as a person at any point in her life. She found a guy that knew a guy that knew someone that could get her papers. She organized their payment and swung her feet over the concrete edge of a broken Earth building while she waited. She was just shy of sixteen then, but when the beanpole of a guy settled down beside her at their meeting spot and slid a manila envelope under her thigh, she wasn’t any more.

“Why’d you want to age up?” he asked, voice reminiscent of an old New Jersey accent.

“What’s it to you?” Alice’s face pinched in irritation. “I paid, you didn’t I?”

“Shit, kid. It’s just that most women want to be younger.”

“Gotta be eighteen to do anything on or off this stupid rock,” Alice grimaced, heel kicking back against the concrete and bouncing off again. “You sure this is legit, Sam? I can’t risk it.”

His eyes narrowed and he rubbed his forehead a little, head cocked to the side. “You paid for the best. You keep your cool and tone down on the ‘stupid’, you’ll pull it off. Whatever it is you intend to pull off, that is.”

Alice jumped down, landing on the ground in a cloud of dust, and reached back for the envelope with one hand and waved with the other. It glowed blue, just briefly, and she smiled like a shark. “It had better.”

It worked. She thought it worked partially because she had studied other recruits for days, hanging around the military station to watch their movements, their actions, and their words. When she strutted into the office and offered herself as a recruit, the woman behind the counter barely batted an eye when she claimed she was eighteen.

Their willingness to take her may or may not have been relevant to the discovery of her biotic abilities; she knew she was special or something, but she didn’t know it was that big of a deal. She was terrified and angry when they told her about the implant. She hated the way she itched after they put it in. She felt chained and that feeling didn’t fade, even when she made it to the Citadel a year later.

It was difficult for Alice not to stare, wide-eyed at the aliens on the space station. She had been fighting the urge to gape out the porthole of the ship her entire trip to the Citadel. She took hurried glances at the stars around her whenever she was sure no one was looking.

When offered a few spare minutes to herself before reporting to the Alliance barracks, she stood slack-jawed at one of the many too-high windows in the Presidium. She was in a relaxed uniform, the black-blue pants on her lower half clearly Alliance and the gray t-shirt obscured slightly on the front by her dog tags and the back by her mass of bright red hair. She had enough time to gape at the stars before she scampered off to put on full uniform and be prepared for her first evening on the base.

“Look at me now,” she smirked to herself, lifting a freckled hand to push hair away and back. She was fortunate and happy to know that she could keep her hair, as long as it was kept up in a regulation hairdo while in uniform. She was disappointed, however, that she could not continue to paint her nails until she made a higher rank. In a year of training, development of her abilities, and adjusting to the L3 implant that itched at the base of her neck, Alice had made Private 1st class. It was still a far cry from her dream of Admiral, but she wasn’t upset. Yet. Without Sam’s help to fudge an education history, she would’ve started at a great disadvantage – her lack of formal schooling could have been her undoing but she had had a lucky break, with the years spent in a library and the type of testing they provided to discern one’s aptitude.

Alice let out a sigh and relaxed her shoulders, lifting her hands to set them on the metal railing in front of her. She leaned over, balancing almost all of her weight on it and almost pressing her face to the glass. Her body, short and thin from being at first underfed and then from the exercise of keeping up with those in her class, balanced precariously on long-fingered hands. She had heard a lot of things throughout her years and was surprised at how closely the barracks on Earth resembled the streets in the prejudice against curves. She had no business in uniform, she had heard; she would be better served on a pole with a figure like that. She convinced herself the men and women of that opinion were merely jealous. And she was too happy that it all worked out to care.

“Damn beautiful,” she grinned, speaking entirely to herself and not caring a fig if anyone overheard her.

A throat cleared behind her and her elbows locked but she didn’t drop until a trilling sound, a voice deep with echoes of wordless noise beneath it, started. “Miss, you’ll need to…uh, not do that.”

By the grace of her arm muscles alone, Alice set her booted toes back to the ground before releasing the railing and turning about. Tilting her head back, she scanned the tall alien with her green eyes. The visor, the uniform – she smiled a little sideways, feeling heat in her cheeks. “Sorry about that, officer.”

“It’s…you’re fine,” he responded with a flick of a mandible, something Alice had not seen before. She had passed a few turians on the Citadel between leaving the ship and unloading her bags, but she hadn’t spoken to one. She knew that was what he was; even without formal schooling, the First Contact War was unavoidable on Earth. “Just…uh, don’t do it again, would you?”

“No, sir,” Alice smirked a little, hands shoved into the pockets of her pants. “You a…what do they call them, Citadel Security Officer?”

“C-Sec,” the turian responded, nodding a little. That was a gesture Alice knew, although when his mandibles spread a little she couldn’t tell if he was amused or angry. “Officer Garrus Vakarian, miss.”

“Private First Class Shepard,” she extended a hand out to him. He looked at it strangely and she huffed a laugh. “Sorry, I forgot…you know. Anyway,” she waved her hand a little and put it back in her pocket. “How do turians greet each other, then?”

The tall, gray-blue officer looked at her strangely for a moment – or at least Alice assumed it was a strange look – before extending his arm out, forearm and palm facing up. Alice stretched out her arm hesitantly and shifted her gaze from their arms to his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

“What was that?” he asked, using finger on his other hand to gesture to her face.

“What was—oh,” she realized belatedly that she had lifted her eyebrow. She raised the hand not attached to the arm that hovered awkwardly over his and touched her sculpted red eyebrow. It had been taken care of by a bunk mate some months back, stray hairs growing back and marring the mostly-even job the other girl had done. “I’ll explain it in a minute. But…the greeting?”

Officer Vakarian blinked before he looked startled, clearing his throat as he regained his composure. “May I?” he asked, setting his three fingers on his unused arm gently atop Alice’s hand as it floated near his elbow.

She nodded her assent, the edges of her lips curled upward in a smile as she watched him. He lowered her hand to his elbow and, after a brief moment, had shifted her fingers into three sections in some sort of facsimile of a turian grasp. Her Alliance-issue sweatshirt pressed against his thin uniform sleeve and his three much longer and thicker fingers clasped the point of her elbow. It was a strange, elongated handshake that felt more intimate than what Alice was used to.

She liked it. Being forced out of her comfort zone made her feel alive.  

After what felt like only a few seconds, Officer Vakarian pressed his capped talons gently into the softness of her sweatshirt. He watched her intently and she realized she was meant to do it back; even through the thin uniform fabric, Alice could feel the difference in their outer hides. Where she was soft and squishy, he was hard and plated. She wondered how much of him was covered in plates and barely caught herself from asking.

Officer Vakarian slowly ended the grasp and watched her strangely, or at least what felt like it would ne strangely, before he gestured to her face again. “What you did with the hair on your face, what was that?”

Alice blinked at him before she laughed a little, running a thumb over the offending patch of hair. “It’s called an ‘eyebrow’. Well, in English, anyway. I lifted it, with the muscles behind it. I didn’t do it intentionally, it’s just a sort of facial expression that some humans use. It can mean a lot of things, but I was curious. But you’ve got ridges or plates, about where eyebrows might be. I imagine it’s kind of the same.” She paused and, as he had gestured to her face she felt like it was okay to do so to him. She gestured, but didn’t reach out far, in the general direction of his mandible. “So you don’t have lips like I do, but you have those…mandibles? Is there another word for it?”

“Mandible is as good a word as any, I suppose. But what’s your question?” With so little experience with turians, Alice couldn’t tell if he sounded more amused or more long-suffering.

“They move a lot, not just when you’re talking. Do the different placements and movements mean different things?”

The officer’s mandibles fluttered a bit, not too far out.

“That. What was that?” Alice jumped a little, eyes wide and eyebrows lifted as she wiggled her fingers in his direction.

“A smile,” the turian responded with a sound similar to a snort.

Alice grinned at him before shifting her gaze to her Omni-Tool. “Ahhhh, balls. I’m going to be late. Thanks for the smile, Officer Vakarian. I’ll see you around.” Without a second glance, Alice took off at a jog towards the Alliance base within in the massive, impossible space station. She left in her wake a curious, if not equally late, turian. 

[violetcrownchronicles]

The Vast Multitude will be Completely Dazed

22 MAR 1888. Austin Daily Statesman.

DRILL AND DEDICATION. Board of Judges—Speed Track—Sale of Privileges, etc.

The work of preparing for the great celebration goes steadily forward, and not a day passes now without a great many things being accomplished, each one of which, large or small, will all added together, make the arrangements, even down to the smallest detail, absolutely perfect for the successful management and equipment of the grandest celebration, unique, peculiar and brilliant, ever witnessed in the United States.

BOARD OF JUDGES.

In compliance with the application of the drill board, Gen. D. S. Stanley, commander of the department of Texas, at San Antonio, has selected the following United States army officers as the board of judges of the competitive drills during encampment week:

Captain Edgar Z. Steever, Third cavalry; First Lieutenant James O. Mackay, Third cavalry, and Second Lieutenant John C. Gregg, Sixteenth Infantry. All these officers are stationed at San Antonio, and Captain Steever is the chairman of the board. These officers are all West Point graduates, and through tacticians. Their duties during drill week will probably be the most difficult and arduous of any officers on the grounds. The task before them, while one of honor, is also a labor of love, and they should receive, as they will receive, the courtesy and kind attentions of all our citizens. Captain Steever, the chairman of the board of judges, has placed the drill management under great obligations to him for much efficient work which he has already done in behalf of the great undertaking now rapidly approaching.

SPUR TRACK.

Mr. Charles Dillingham, receiver of the Central railroad, required the drill board to furnish the iron for the half mile spur track to the encampment grounds, before his road would agree to do the balance of the work and run the excursion trains during the drill week. The drill board was in a quandary as to where to secure this iron, and at what price. It was learned that Col. Abner Taylor, capitol contractor, had a mile of iron in this city, which he was about to dispose of. He was at once communicated with, and he very generously proffered to the drill board the use of enough iron for the spur track free of cost.

PRIVILEGES TO BE SOLD.

The great value of a privilege of any kind inside the broad and beautiful encampment grounds during the week of the great celebration cannot be too strongly impressed upon our people. Remember the sale takes place next Monday week, April 2, at 11 o’clock a. m., on the encampment grounds. These privileges are going to bring a good deal more money than some of our citizens imagine. The day of sale has been advertised all over the country and a large number of strangers will be among the bidders. Everybody should come prepared financially to bid high. More will be said on this subject from day to day and all parties expecting to bid should keep their eye on his column.

ADDITIONAL ATTRACTIONS.

The drill board has added two popular and imposing features to the already magnificent and varied programme to appear on the grounds during the week of the celebration. On the forenoon of Thursday, May 17, there will be an enormous and imposing gathering on one of the grandstands of the teachers and students of the University, the colleges and schools of Texas. Appropriate addresses will be delivered by distinguished speakers, and the exercises, which will occupy from 10 until 1 o’clock, will be interesting, instructive and entertaining. This movement will, of itself, render certain the attendance on the grounds of a very large class of the most intelligent people of Texas. The management of this educational reunion at the celebration is in the hands of the Hon. Oscar Cooper, superintendent of public instruction, assisted by several of the regents and faculty of the State University and therefore an assured success.

On Tuesday forenoon of drill week it is anticipated that the Farmers’ alliance of Texas will hold one of their great demonstrations on the encampment grounds, in which several thousand of their members will participate.

For the benefit of those financially interested in the Drill association, it may be stated that the standard price of admission will be charged all parties alike entering the grounds whether members of convocations, gatherings or not.

So far as the programme is mapped out for celebration week, there will be alliance day, dedication day, education day, cowboy day, sham battle day, and, together with all the famous and brilliant attractions to appear on the grounds, the vast multitude present will be completely dazed by the time the grand celebration is over. There will also be brilliant pyrotechnical nights, Gilmore concert nights, dedication ball night and dancing and much merriment on the grounds every night until after midnight.

DECORATION COMMITTEE.

This important committee, assisted by Mr. Harry Harman, the polite and affable professional decorator, are working like beavers in endeavoring to raise funds for the erection of a triumphal arch and they are meeting with fair success. This committee should keep up good work daily and it will not be long before they have secured the amount needed, especially if each one of our citizens will contribute something, however small it may be.

PUBLIC COMFORT.

While the newspapers all over the state and in many parts of the United States are speaking of Austin’s coming carnival, and predicting that it will be one of the grandest celebrations this country has ever witnessed, some of them are beginning to ask: “How is Austin going to take of the enormous crowd of visitors that will attend the dedication celebration?”  Our people should become thoroughly aroused to this vital question and should not fail to utilize every available space they have for the accommodation of visitors. By all means secure a plentiful supply of cots and have them on hand in ample time. Besides the hotels and boarding houses, no private residences should be without cots. Every citizen should give all the assistance in his power to the able bureau of public comfort, who have this serious matter entirely in charge.

J. T. DICKENSON, Secretary.

[stopsubstanceabuse1-blog]

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