#Symbolic Capri Wedding Ceremony

[thecapricunt1616]

Sampaguita (c.b. one-shot)

𝓑𝓵𝓾𝓻𝓫 (𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): It was your final Gala of the year, the 60th Art and Design Juried Student Exhibition. This is what you’d been working towards all year. Your Professor had assured you that you were one of the most promising Expressionist Mural painters he’d taught in quite a long time. He was quite certain you’d be commissioned, as many high paying clientele were coming to view the art that would be on display.  You stepped back, observing the large canvas mural you’d painted, resting your hand on your hips and sighing softly. 3 months of work, all leading up to this moment. There were many things you thought you would change about the work, but nothing to your eye that you painted would ever be perfect, there would always be something you wish you would have made better or omitted completely. You nervously twirled your gold and mother-of-pearl bangle over your wrist as you continued to look over it, deciding to step outside for some fresh air. You walked down the back hall, your heels clicking on the tile floor as you did so. You heard the back door close and a loud boisterous laugh “Dude dude and she was all ‘No you’re totally right man’ and that’s when-” the loud man comes around the corner holding a big box full of napkins and smacked right into you, sending you flying back on your butt and you let out a big ‘oof’ as you land.

♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: The Sampaguita flower is considered the flower of love in many South Asian countries, Indonesia and the Philippines. It is used in wedding and religious ceremonies to symbolize love, devotion, purity and divine hope. ♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You & Carmy meet at your biggest gala of the year, smut ensues! ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 10.0k+ ♡ 𝐀/𝐍:Hello all! Welcome back to another installment of "Capri can't write something short to save her life!" I've been working on this literally all week as I wanted it to be the most thoughtful and good I could come up with, as it's requested by my lovely wonderful Wormy @carmybrainworms - welcome home my little worm, me and the fellow bearblr baddies have missed you terribly! I hope you enjoy this welcome home present! ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂: Not terribly edited (we die like men), Swearing, Smoking, Smut, Spanking, kinda dom? carmy, i think thats it! (R is 22, short, with long hair & glasses also is v petite bc it's DC to wormy but you can imagine yourself ofc :D)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

It was your final Gala of the year, the 60th Art and Design Juried Student Exhibition. This is what you’d been working towards all year. Your Professor had assured you that you were one of the most promising Expressionist Mural painters he’d taught in quite a long time. He was quite certain you’d be commissioned, as many high paying clientele were coming to view the art that would be on display. 

You stepped back, observing the large canvas mural you’d painted, resting your hand on your hips and sighing softly. 3 months of work, all leading up to this moment. There were many things you thought you would change about the work, but nothing to your eye that you painted would ever be perfect, there would always be something you wish you would have made better or omitted completely. You nervously twirled your gold and mother-of-pearl bangle over your wrist as you continued to look over it, deciding to step outside for some fresh air.

You walked down the back hall, your heels clicking on the tile floor as you did so. You heard the back door close and a loud boisterous laugh “Dude dude and she was all ‘No you’re totally right man’ and that’s when-” the loud man comes around the corner holding a big box full of napkins and smacked right into you, sending you flying back on your butt and you let out a big ‘oof’ as you land.

“FUCK bro you didn’t say corner! You ok sweetheart?” a taller, leaner man with a brunette buzzcut and striking blue eyes offers you a large warm hand to help you up. “This is why Carmy is so fuckin’ uptight about this shit man! Can’t have you in the kitchen, imagine she was holding a hot pan or some shit!” he scolded the other man as you took it and he hoisted you up easily.

“M’sorry about that sweetheart, you alright?” He patted your shoulder in a friendly way. “Fuckin’ apologize!” he slaps the mans shoulder that knocked you over 

“Sorry! I’m sorry. You’re pretty, like an angel. I’m Neil” he stuck out his hand and you giggle a little bit at his forwardness. You introduced yourself as well and the other man hums

“Cool name- Sorry about this one he’s a big clutz- I’m Richie” he bent down with Neil and began picking up the napkins, and you bent down to help them as well. 

“No worries at all- sorry about that it’s my bad I wasn’t really paying attention. Sorry- are you here for the dining hall? It’s in another building I can take you there if you want” you place the last stack of napkins down in the box

“No, we're helping Bear with the catering stuff you should come!” Neil said enthusiastically to which Richie chuckled a bit. 

“It’s only for the students at the Gala and the faculty bud. You goin’t’that?” he asked you and you smile and nod.

“Totally! I uh- I actually have a piece in the show. I was actually just going to get some air- Nice meeting you guys!” you scoot past and pushed the back door open , being greeted with the scent of American Spirits.  You rolled your eyes a bit to yourself, realizing that you wouldn’t be alone, and look over to see a impossibly handsome curly blonde smoking a cigarette. 

“Sorry I- I didn’t realize someone was out here” you twirl your bangle over your wrist again, a nervous habit you’d picked up opposed to picking at your hands. 

“No worries- I’ll be out of your way soon just had to grab a smoke I know I’ll be busy the rest of the night somethin’s bound to go wrong at one of these catering things” he chuckled to himself a bit and shook his head. 

“Oh- are you Bear?” you smile a bit, recalling what the tattooed goofball that knocked you over had said. He looked at you a bit surprised, eyebrows scrunching a bit as his eyes racked over your face and frame trying to recall if you’d met before

“Sorry do I- have we met?” he took another drag, the smoke blowing out of his nose subtly as he exhaled.

God he’s hot while he smokes.

“No! I’d have remembered such a handsome face, I think I met your other coworkers in the hallway, uhh - Richie and Neil? Funny tattooed guy? Kinda knocked me on my ass but it’s cool not the first time it’s happened i’m a clutz” you said and his cheeks go pink at the compliment, chuckling.

“Jesus- Yeah he’s a fuckin idiot, m’sorry is y’r….ass ok?” he asked and you stared at eachother for a moment before bursting into giggles. 

“You wanna check?” you teased turning around and he laughed 

“I’m just making myself sound like a creep, uhhh- shit. Sorry you can probably tell that I don’t get out much- I’ll um..I’ll let you be, nice meeting you-”

“My friends call me bunny! You don’t have to go- I was actually gonna ask to bum a cigarette off you cause I’m realizing that I forgot my vape inside in my bag..” you said and he looked at you, brows raising and he chuckled a bit. 

“You use one of those damn things? These dont taste like candy er’ whatever if that’s what you want” he teased as he fished the cigarette carton out of his pocket once again and flicked it open. You rolled your eyes amusedly taking one out of the carton and putting it between your lips “I like a cigarette once in a while. You can vape inside if you’re sneaky enough most places” you mumble through the cigarette, causing him to huff a laugh as he lights it for you. 

“Isn’t that defeating the whole purpose, because you’re only supposed to use it like a cigarette?” he asked, watching as you took a long drag and did a french inhale, causing his brows to knit “And how fuckin old are you?” he muttered as he watched you pull the cigarette from your lips and hold it delicately between your fingers. 

“Old enough, I think you meant to ask where I learned this and the answer is my evil ex-boyfriend but he did teach me a cool party trick at least” you mused, causing him to chuckle again.

“Funny little thing you are huh” he mused, causing a light blush to stain your cheeks and a smile curls on your lips

“Hey I didn’t dog you for your height that’s fucked up man” you teased and he chuckled

“You aren’t from here” he said, more as a statement than anything. You look up, squinting at him

“It’s not that obvious” you retort

“Trannnsplant” he teased, making you giggle and hit his shoulder playfully

“Is this how you flirt with all the girls you meet?” you shot back, making his cheeks go that cute shade of pink again.

“Who said I was flirting?” he asked and the door got pushed open, a young pretty girl with dark braids sighing in relief. 

“There you are- Carmy! Get in here! Fak dropped an entire pan of garlic knots so I have to run back to the restaurant, which means that you have to set up the risotto and the shells and the-” 

“Got it- Chef” he stomps out his second cigarette. “It’s nice meeting you, Bunny” he said and grabs the door from the young woman. “Thanks for the cigarette, Carmy” you said, now knowing his real name other than the funny nickname his employees gave him. He looks back, flashing you a small smirk before letting the door shut behind him.

You found yourself smiling like a goof and thinking about that damned chef the entire time you finished the cigarette that he’d given you. It wasn’t often that a man who piqued your interest came about. That just being because your experiences with men up until this point hasn’t been the best, but no matter how many times you just kept going back to the same ones, so it excited you to try something new- different. 

That was if he was feeling the same way. When you got through with your cigarette you stomped out the butt with the end of your black pointy stiletto. You pulled the door open and heard the soft chatter of guests and the sort as well as the smell of some delicious food. You first made your way into the back room, washing your hands at the students sink to rid your hands of the smell of cigarettes and walking over to your locker to spray on some body spray before putting on some lip gloss to replenish what got lost on your cigarette. 

You heard the door to the art room open and a deep sigh, before the sound of running water. You carefully shut your locker and walk out to the main area again to see the same curly head, bent over the sink splashing his face with water. “So…do you like Carmy, or Bear- or did I totally rat them out by telling you that they called you Bear” you said, coming over and taking a few paper-towels out of the dispenser and offering them to him.

“Bear is a uh…” he wiped his face of the excess water, flicking it into the basen of the sink before turning off the water and looking over “Thanks- It’s a family name” he cleared his throat and wiped the paper towels over his face, slicking his curls back with a wet hand. 

“Oh- uh how’d you get that name?” you ask and he smiled a bit, crumpling up the paper towels in his large, tattooed hand

“How’d you get the name Bunny?” He shrugged a bit 

Your cheeks flush a bit and you look at your feet, shuffling them a bit, realizing even though he wasn’t as tall as the other guy you’d met with similar blue eyes earlier - even in your heels he still towered over you. “I’m jumpy when I get nervous” you said a bit shyly. 

“Shit- well I’ll try t’not let Richie around you, he’s a fuckin…bull in a china shop” he said, causing you to giggle a bit and look back up at him with a small smile. 

“So… your turn, Mister Bear” you said and he huffed a laugh, shaking his head as his cheeks got pinker at your silly comment

“Berzatto is my last name, so growin’ up me and my siblings we’d call ourselves the bears it’s…stupid, bit it stuck w’me” He said, rubbing the vein on the side of his neck and you couldn’t help but notice the sheer size of them in that moment and think about the comparison of them to your neck.

“It’s cute…so what’re you doing back here, you thinkin’ of enrolling?” you joked and he chuckled a bit.

“Big groups of people aren’t uh…really my thing I just needed a sec to y’know” he leaned on the counter, crossing his arms over his broad chest, causing his biceps to become more prominent. You nodded, resting your hip on the same countertop, playing around with your bangle bracelet.

“I get that…mine either- well it depends on my mood I guess, did you make that food? It smells really good” you said as you stare at his lips, finally finding a way to tear your eyes back to his, nibbling the inside of your lip and worrying that you were rambling. 

“I did! I did..uh me and my Sous, Sydney, Cola braised short-rib and risotto - the Cola is coke, but we can’t say that Sugar says for like legal reasons or whatever.” he said and you found yourself smiling, this guy also seems to come from a circle of nicknames.

“Sugar?” you asked and giggle a bit “Is sheee…really nice?” you asked and he chuckled again

“She uh- in a way- yeah, she is but uh. It’s a whole story” he said and brushed his hair back again. 

“Well- have you eaten?” you asked and he raised his brows, thinking for a second

“I did uh- family meal earlier, why?” he asked and you blushed a bit, shrugging with a sheepish smile 

“Y’wanna show me to the food then? Sorry it sounded really good when you said it…never had risotto before” you looked up at him and he smiled

“Course- Of course, yeah, S’not out yet, but I can sneak you a plate, come w’me” he tossed the crumpled paper towel into the garbage and you followed him as he walks you down the long corridor into a room that was long forgotten by you as the culinary arts room, since barely any people you knew took the class it flew right over your head.

It was bustling, multiple people in chefs coats running around and the same girl you saw earlier with the braids now tied back into a neat ponytail with a pretty silk scarf adorned with black and white polkadots tied around her head. “Alright were gonna be moving in 10 people I want the sweet tea out of the chiller and into the buckets tina how many minutes left on the garlic knots?” she called loudly over the clanging of the pots and pans.

A woman not much taller then you goes over to the industrial oven and checks the time, “4 minutes chef!” she called out.

“Alright so those come out I want them plated right away and for you to be brushing the garlic herb butter.” the girl with the braids called out to which the shorter woman called out another ‘Yes Chef’ 

“Wow- all professional and shit huh?” You nudge him playfully earning a chuckle from him

“Yo cousin- these fuckin forks have spots - wait-” the same Richie you’d met earlier, calls loudly over all the noise and stops when he meets your eyes.

“Hey again! I’ll stay out of your way this time, scouts honor” you joke and lean against the wall near the door to keep out of everyone's way. 

“Hey how about - actually, I’ll make you a plate with a little-a everything for you, and take it back to the uh- the room that we were in” he rested his hand on your shoulder and it nearly made you flush the way that his hand nearly swallowed it whole.

“Yeah- Uh..ok, thanks” you said, suddenly feeling intoxicated with the natural dominance he held without even seeming to realize he did so. You nodded, heading out and heels clicking quickly as you made your way down the hallway back towards the art room.

It wasn’t very long until Carmy was coming back to the art room, carrying not 1 but 2 plates of steaming food and balancing 2 cups as well on a small tray he’d likely found in the culinary arts room. “Alright- as promised- a little bit of everything for you here,” he set the plate in front of you “We got the short ribs, risotto, garlic knots, also got a little ceasar salad for you and then some sweet tea- School said no liquor it feels like a crime to not have wine with short rib but y’know rules and shit” he said, pointing to each as he explained and you once again found yourself staring at his lips and mouth watering at the way his chain dangled as he rested his hand on the table and pointed to each dish and you found yourself envisioning sucking on it.

“Yeah..” you said, looking back down at your plate and grabbing the fork he’d given you. “It smells…really good” you said, trying to clear your head of all the messy, dirty thoughts that were running through it. “Thought you said that you weren’t hungry?” you mused as you stuck your fork in some ribs before grabbing some risotto and trying it, moaning at the heavenly taste and closing your eyes as you chew.

“Holy shit you should go on fuckin masterchef er somethin’ this is fiiiire” you said with a little giggle. He chuckled a bit, chewing one of the garlic knots he’d brought for himself, that adorable pink flushing his cheeks again, this time flushing all the way to his chest. 

“Thanks I uh…I try” he said, continuing to look at his plate “Like your um…your shoes- they’re cool. They comfortable?” he asked, finally looking up at you again. You weren’t sure if he really liked them, or if he was just bad at taking compliments. Either way, it was sweet of him to mention especially for you since they were your favorite pair. 

“Why thank you very much, guys usually don’t notice stuff like that” you held your foot out, admiring your cute pointy toed shoes. 

“They uh- they remind me of Morticia Adams, No offense” he chuckled a bit and you gasp in delight.

“That is exactly the look I was going for! Thank you so much, that is a huge compliment to me actually!” you happily sipped on your iced tea, humming when you realized he had put lemon in it. “This tea is tea” you joke and he snorts a chuckle, Rolling his eyes amusedly.

“Yes- the tea is tea” he said as if it was obvious, you nod and point with your fork to the risotto

“This risotto shit? Also tea” you said and had another bite, earning an adorable confused look from him. 

“Theres- theres no tea in that where are you getting tea? What kind of tea?” he questioned, grabbing his own fork and trying a bite of the small helping of risotto he’d put on his own plate. You laughed, covering your mouth with your manicured hand and he chuckled “What! What why you laughin’ at me? There’s no tea in this!” he said again and lightly poked your arm. 

You shook your head, catching your breath from your giggle fit “Gosh how old are you - you aren’t on the internet at all?” you questioned, not able to stop yourself from eating more of the risotto and short rib he put on your plate, the stuff was proving to be addicting. 

“One place I am not is on the internet it fuckin…stresses me out I’m old school I text call , email even if youre wanting to go back even further, I guess my siblings were older then me by a bit so…never really learned how to use it. Is that some kind of slang like chill? I remembered learning that one a few years ago” he said, finishing off his plate that he’d brought and downing his cup of iced tea in nearly one go. You chuckled to yourself a bit.

“Such a guy” you teased, taking a bite of the salad he’d put on the side for you and humming in satisfaction at the way you could tell the dressing was made and not from a bottle. 

“What’s that supposta mean?! I’m fuckin thirsty kitchens hot as fuck” he chuckled, resting with his legs stretched out and his arms resting behind his head, again causing his large biceps to become even more prominent. 

God did this guy know what a slut he was?

“So why does everyone else have to wear the silly little coats but you don’t- you top dog or something?” you joked and finished off your food, grabbing his empty plate as well and throwing them away for you both.

“They aren’t silly, they’re professional, there - paint princess and I guess you could call me top dog er’ whatever. Syd’s technically my partner but I don’t put too much weight on er’” he said as you cursed yourself, dropping one of the paper plates and bending over to pick it up.

He didn’t miss the way the skirt of your little black dress rode up just enough for the ends of your lacy panties to peak out as you grabbed it off of the floor and chuck it in the garbage, standing up and feeling yourself flushed as you realized and you pull your dress back down, smoothing it before turning around to see him staring with his plump bottom lip between his teeth.

Oh.

“Cute panties, right?” you teased, figuring if he had the balls to stare he didn’t mind you pointing it out. 

“W-what? Huh?” he asked, pale cheeks turning red as tomatoes and flushing all the way down his neck. “What- like- like”

“The navy blue lace- did you not see enough to judge? Wanna see more?” you sauntered up to him, thumbing his St. Anthony chain & wrapping your finger around and tugging lightly. His breath gets caught in his throat and he looks up at you, blue eyes wide and cheeks on fire.

“Are you always this forward?” he asked, his voice lower and huskier, almost a whisper. 

You smirked friskily, leaning in and tucking back his curly hair whispering in the shell of his ear “Why, d’you like it?” you said, hand splaying out over his chest and rubbing over it gently, feeling his racing heart. 

“Drives me kinda fuckin’ crazy, if’m’honest” he pulls you to sit in his lap and you squeak in surprise, giggling a bit and wrapping your arms around the back of his neck for balance.

“Yeah? M’pretty sure it would drive your girlfriend crazy too t’see me in your lap like this” you leaned forward, brushing his hair from his eyes and he looks up at you with a small smirk.

“Do I look that much of a prick that I’d pull some chick in my lap if m’seein someone?” he gently adjusted your necklace, the soft brush of his fingers nearly giving you shivers.

“I guess I’ve just had bad experiences with pretty tattooed men…” you spoke quietly since your faces had been getting closer and closer now ever since he’d pulled you into his lap.

“Oh so I’m pretty now, mm?” he asked as you gently twirl his curls around your manicured fingers.

“I think you’ve been pretty since the day you were born but that’s just a guess” you said and gently traced your thumb over his bottom lip and dragging it down gently. While doing so, he gently took your thumb into his mouth, dragging his tongue around it sensually before beginning to suck on it. Your jaw falls slack at the action, breathing becoming heavier and a wave of warmth crashing over your core. “Do you want to see my studio?” you asked boldly and he smirks a bit, pulling off your thumb with a pop and looking up at you with those lust blown blue eyes.

“Lead the way Bunny” he said, causing you to giggle and stand up, taking him by the hand. You carefully look outside the door just to be sure that there was no prying eyes in the hallway before quickly taking his hand and leading him to the back stairwell. As a fourth year art student who had been brought in to help teach students that were your Freshman as well as grade their work- you were given access to the senior studios, and you were in one so often it had basically been claimed as yours by this point, meaning you could trust that you two wouldn’t be bothered. 

That was one of the nicest things about being a favorite of your professor, being able to work alone and without being pestered.

You’d realized both of you had been skirting around the age question. It didn’t bother you much, you’d been with older men before - and you were 22 after all, so it wasn’t like you couldn’t make your own decisions on who you slept with.

You swayed your hips a little bit extra on the way up the stairs, knowing that he was not so secretly looking at the globes of your ass being accentuated by the thin fabric of your black sundress. By the time you’d gotten to the top, and dug around in your purse to find the keys to your studio in your tote bag, Carmy was quietly and awkwardly adjusting his erection in his jeans as you fiddled with the keys due to your nails, pushing open the door and flicking open the light.

The smell of paint overcomes you, and he mutters a soft “Woah” as he looks over your various half finished and some abandoned works leaning against the wall and hung up some places, various canvases everywhere. “So you really uh…do the thing huh” he nervously rubbed over his hands as he looked over the walls. You shut the door behind you, clicking the lock just for extra security before following to where he was standing in the middle of the room. 

“I do- do you wanna try?” you asked, planting a gentle, open mouth kiss on that pretty vein on his neck, smirking at the way you heard his breath get caught in his throat when you do so. You brought your hand back up, gently rubbing over his chest and finding his chain again, playing with it. 

“I um- uh- my forte is more with pencils or- um” he stuttered as you continued, beginning to feel hot and his erection pressing more and more at the confines of its cloth prison. 

“What if…we do it together- You’ll be my muse for my final project of the year” you gently trail your hand under his shirt, feeling the toned ridges of his abs under your nimble fingers. Your smile curls up more, feeling his stomach tighten and goosebumps appearing on his flesh as you do so. 

“Uhhh- you’re um, you’re like fuckin 21 right- jesus christ” he shudders as you pop open the button of his jeans and tease down his happy trail with your jeans, tugging the hem of his boxers open with your nail and he grabs your wrist, his entire hand easily wrapping around your wrist as he pulls it back “M’not about t’fuck a kid. How fuckin’ old are you, Bunny” 

You rolled your eyes “I’m 22! Such a gentleman though- that’s okay, right?” you look up at him and he breathes what looked to be a sigh of relief and lets your wrist go. 

“Ok- sorry i’d feel like a total fuckin perv if you were younger then that- still kinda fuckin young” he chuckled a bit and stroked your hair back “I’m uh…I’m 29, is that ok with you?” he asked to which you nod enthusiastically 

“Totally cool- can we keep going now or any other burning questions, chef?” you mused and leaned in, kissing below his ear and gently nipping at the lobe. He finally gives in and squeezes your ass, spanking you lightly.

“You have a fuckin’ mouth on you, bet it getcha in trouble alot mm?” he teased with a grin as you nip at his neck “and no marks, I’ll never hear the end of it if Richie sees that I hooked up with someone here an’e’ll probably infer that it was a student since I’ve never shown any interest in dudes and uhh…all y’teachers down there are men” he tilted your face up with a firm hand. “Y’gonna let me kiss you now?” he asked in that soft low way he took on downstairs and it nearly made you melt where you were standing. 

“Please- please do” you breathe, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips met yours. It felt like an explosion of butterflies in your lower belly, feeling a pulsing begin in your panties that was red hot with want. You brought your right hand back down to his boxers, rubbing your nails playfully over the hem of them and teasingly snapping it to his skin while your left hand worked at the small knots through his sandy blonde curls. He hummed gently into your mouth when you tugged at his roots, tugging your dress over your ass so he could get a better grip on it. He teasingly tugged your panties up over your cheeks, thumbing the inside of the lace and snapping it back against the skin,

Pulling away a bit, he mutters “they are cute, by the way” he said before continuing to kiss you. He swiped his tongue over your bottom lip and you opened up immediately for him, humming when you tasted the sweet and bitter mix of iced tea and american spirits on your tongue. 

The fervent nature of your kisses had you stumbling  back, back, until the backs of your thighs were pressed to the tabletop, and he was hoisting you up by your thighs to sit down, to which you gratefully accepted. He tugged off your little black dress, pulling it over your head swiftly so he wouldn’t need to break the kiss for long. It was only moments before you felt his palms over your breasts. They were the perfect handful for him, rubbing his thumbs back and forth over your nipples causing them to perk up at the attention. 

You felt yourself gushing in your panties, unable to squeeze your thighs together to ease the pulsing ache that was starting to grow more and more. You mewled into his mouth, the panting coming out of your nose and fanning his upper lip as he nearly devoured you getting faster and more desperate as he pinched and tugged your nipple just enough to make your clit twitch. He pulled away, and you panted softly into his mouth as he asked, “I can suck on these, right?” he asked, his voice huskier and lower than before. 

“Course- please” you gently combed through his curls with your fingers as he wasted no time working his lips down your chin and jaw with hot open mouthed kisses, gently sucking and licking over all the right spots. You whine and moan as he takes your left nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly and swirling his tongue over the sensitive bud while he massages your right breast in his hand between rolling your nipple lightly in his fingers. You look down at him, jaw falling slack when you saw those icy blue eyes staring up at you, darkened and lust blown. “Jesus Carmy-” you breathed out, causing him to smirk a bit and he pulled off with a pop, licking and flicking his tongue over the now firm bud. 

“You have perfect fuckin tits” he complimented sultrily, the tips of his lips brushing your nipple lightly as he spoke, his hot breath causing that pulsing feeling in your panties to turn into a throb, and he kissed your left breast before politelly moving his attention to your neglected right one and giving it the same star treatment. You had wiggled your hips to the side of the desk, pathetically humping the corner to get any kind of relief. His eyes fluttered down to see what you were doing and he pulled away, chuckling a bit “holy shit. Y’want some help there sweetheart?” He mocked teasingly, spreading your thighs more and cupping your heat with his hand. The relief of him finally touching where you needed him most caused you to gasp lightly, pulling him into a kiss as you quickly rut your hips into his hand, groaning into his mouth as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to release. 

“Lets get these off mm?” he purrs in the shell of your ear, guiding you to lift your hips and slipping off your little blue lacy panties in one swift motion, leaving you in nothing but your stilettos. The feeling of his tattooed digit prodding at your slick entrance to gather some arousal, before swirling it around your clit. Your hips buck into his hand, feeling eager to be filled by something. 

“C-Carmy-” you breathe out, tongue darting out to wet your lips that were dry from the growing pants coming from your lips. “Need you inside” you admit, cheeks heating slightly. 

“Yeah? M’gonna need t’stretch you out Bun’” he swirled his finger back down in your wetness, prodding the first knuckle of his middle finger inside of you and watching you carefully as your head fell back in bliss at the relief it brought. A whiney moan tears from your throat as he pushed the finger inside deeper, sinking down to the second knuckle and curling it wonderfully. This action caused your hips to rut into his hand causing him to sink the rest of his finger open and the sensation was so pleasurable and intense your hand slid up your chest to massage your breast just to have something to hold. 

“More- More please” you begged, eyes opening once again to see him looking fully blissed out over you, hooded lids and parted lips, looking utterly entranced with the sight of you falling apart beneath him. 

“Sure y’can handle it? God y’fuckin tight, angel” he added another one of his thick digits and the delightful burn that came with the stretch caused the faintest of smirks to curl on your lips. Carmy in that moment felt his heart flutter, he’d never hooked up with anyone who made his heart do that before. He hadn’t even met many people who made his heart do that anyhow. He brought his lips to yours as he explored your walls with his fingers causing your brows to furrow for a moment before he pressed on a spot deep inside of you, yet to be found by any other partner. 

The feeling made your mind go blank, your head felt fuzzy and hazy around the edges and it was a white hot pleasure as he curled his fingers into the spot. In tandem, the feeling made your toes curl and back arch slightly. “Theeere it is” he muttered to himself cockily. “Y’gonna cum, Bunny? Mmm? Y’drippin’ down my hand pretty girl” he rasped in your ear, kissing the side of your head as he curled his fingers quicker, increasing his pressure and you let out sounds you had never heard yourself make before. You couldn’t find any words, you were too focused on the way your muscles were tightening and releasing, and your thighs were beginning to shake. 

It all felt too good to be nervous, but that hadn’t ever happened before. You nod fervently at his request and he rubs his palm against your clit in such a way that had him covering your mouth with his other hand and pushing you down against the desk so your screams wouldn’t be heard by the Gala-Attendees downstairs. “Tha’s it- let go baby s’ok” he purred in your ear lowly. You weren’t sure what happened or what caused it, but suddenly you felt as if you were out of your body for a moment as you heard a gushing noise.

You were snapped back into yourself though as the most intense orgasm you’d ever been privy to washed over you. You couldn’t scream, you could just squirm and shake and claw at Carmen’s buff arms as he worked you through it. “Jeeesus you fuckin soaked my hand, Bunny- hottest shit I’ve ever seen, gonna make you do it on my cock next, god- you good?” the sound of his soft yet dominant voice brought you back. You opened your eyes and looked down to see a puddle of clear water-looking liquid on the floor and looked back at Carmy, blinking a few times as you found your wits. 

He cradled your thigh under his large bicep, stroking your pussy gently as your hips lightly twitch, just looking at you and patiently waiting for your answer. “I- I did that?” you asked, a bit surprised. 

“You’ve- you never squirted like that?” he asked, and you shook your head in response. “Well let��s do it again then, mm?” he slipped his wallet out of his pocket and pulled a black foil packet out of the cash slot, that made your eyes widen as he ripped it open easily with his teeth and popped the button on his jeans. A bareskin Magnum. 

You swallowed thickly, throat suddenly feeling dry. You’d never seen a Magnum condom in real life, none of your partners had ever needed one. You’d seen them in porn, sure, but even then you found it slightly insane that there were guys who needed thicker condoms considering in health class in school they told you most people will never need specialty condoms like that. You were glad he brought his own because all you had in your bag was a regular durex, which seemed now wouldn’t ever fit. 

“Y’good?” he questioned as he tugged off his shirt in that guyish way by grabbing it by the nape of his neck and tugging it over his head, causing his gorgeous messy curls to become even more ruffled by the action. You nod again, feeling completely in a daze and there was a sharp knock at the door, and the sound of the door jiggling before your professor called your name and asked if you were in there. Your eyes widened and you held your lips up to tell Carmy to be quiet. 

“Yeah?” You called back, sitting up on your elbow to speak with him through the door.

“Are you…going to come present your mural? The donors shall be leaving soon- your work has raised the most money, the buyer wishes to meet you.” he explained and your head fell back in frustration rubbing over your face and trying to quickly come up with a lie. You didn’t want to meet anyone and talk about your art with them, especially a rich snob that likely didn’t understand anything behind it and just bought it for another one of their foyers in The Hamptons, and you also wanted to continue your time with Carmy because - the guy knew his way around a pussy and you needed to see the full of his abilities. 

“Uh- I-I’m sorry, I got….inspired. I’m working on my final project. You know how I get - Thank them for me and uh- read the description I put for it on the school site it says everything I want to!” You said quickly and he was quiet for a moment. 

“So be it….but I’d like to review what you’re working on tomorrow, please” he said and you sigh in relief.

“Thank you, Professor, You wont be disappointed” you told him and sighed softly in relief as you heard him walking away. 

“So- What are we…working on?” Carmy questioned. You got up. Going and grabbing the biggest canvas you had at the moment which perfect for your needs was one that you could comfortably lay over. Then, you grabbed a small bucket of Colombia blue paint and dump it over the canvas, lightly smearing it with your hand and tying your hair up.

“You’re gonna fuck me on this” you put your thick rimmed glasses on the desk so they wouldnt get covered in paint before carefully laying on the canvas and wiggling your ass around a bit so the lace of your panties (that would now be ruined) would add nice texture and pattern to the paint as you spread it out. He chuckled, shaking his head a bit and settling in front of you before resuming tugging his jeans off and rolling the condom on. 

“You’re quite the little character, know that?” he asked, but you didn’t really hear him as you were focused on the largest cock you’d ever seen in person staring back at you. “Yo-” he tapped your cheek gently to get your attention and you look at him

“Is that gonna fit? It just whispered in my ear and said it was gonna rip me in half- thats a third leg” you said jokingly causing him to laugh, resting his hand forward next to your waist causing his hand to become covered in paint as he lined himself up at your entrance. 

“It whispered in your ear” he snorts a laugh, his stomach swarming with butterflies. Something about this experience felt… freeing for him. He’d never met someone who made him feel so put at ease while having such a large and silly personality other then… well, other than his brother, so a lot of the feelings he was having were good but slightly overwhelming.

Both of your minds though went blank as he nudged the tip of his thick girth inside of you. Fuck you were glad that he’d stretched you out slightly with his expert fingers at first because that familiar slight burn as he split you open for him was bring tears of pleasure to the corners of your eyes. He leaned over you, caging you in with his arms as he sunk in you fully and you bit his bicep, hard to stop from screaming out. He hissed, patting your cheek lightly as he chuckles “I tap out, I tap out!” he teased “Jesus, Bun, gonna leave a bruise” he said and you blushed slightly as you pulled away, looking at the perfect divots of your teeth imprint, that he was right, would surely bruise in the shapes of your teeth. 

“Sorry…didn’t wanna scream” you said sheepishly and gently kiss over the area. 

“Y’can bite, bun’- but just a little higher up so people don’ask questions mm’?” he said gently “Can I move now?” he asked and left gentle kisses along your jaw, down your neck. When you let out a little hum he began to slowly grind with you in a way that caused the mushroom shaped tip of him to rub against that spot earlier that made you see stars. Carmen had learned years ago now, that especially with his size and shape rather then deep snapping strokes, it feels better for his partners if he does a deep grinding motion. He knew this trick worked for you as well when you began to gush and clench around him tightly, back arching and squirming below him on the canvas.

“Ho-holy fucking shit, Carm” you whine out, back arching and gasping out when you felt him rub your clit with his paint free hand, wrapping your thigh around his waist so he could hit deeper, and the new angle nearly made you squeal. 

“Oh- Fuck- Fuck Bun’ - squeezin my shit so fuckin tight, God” he nearly let out a whimper as he felt you gush around him, the creamy liquid sliding down over his balls and dripping onto the tile below. “Fuck- fuck gonna take you from behind, yea? Gonna feel so good baby” he said and before you knew what was happening you were on your stomach, breasts slipping back and forth over slick blue paint as he lined himself back up and began to thrust hard and fast from behind. Whenever he grinded up into your ass the tip of his cock gave your cervix a gentle kiss that made you see stars.

“Oh- I’m gonna cum” you whine out, paint covered hands leaving fingerprint smudges all along the canvas as he uses your hips as leverage to push and pull you back on his cock. You felt him so deep it felt as if he was in your stomach, whimpering and clenching around him in a way that made him grunt when you felt him spank your ass roughly. 

“Shiiiiit- I can fuckin feel that- gonna make you cum all over my cock babygirl- fuuuuck” he groaned, head falling back hotly as he absolutely pounded you. You were letting out sweet grunted uh’s and ah’s with each snap of his hips. Carmy spanked you again, leaving handprints of blue on your ass, before spreading your cheeks and watching the white cream sticking to his cock in strings of arousal as he continued to thrust. When you heard, and felt him release a glob of spit onto your other hole, watching mesmerized as it dripped down over your pussy, getting lost and mixing with your arousal almost immediately, that was all it took for you to reach your peak. 

Your thighs shivered, and hips bucked uncontrollably, clenching and releasing around him in a way that made his hips stutter and thrusts falter. “Christ- fuckin cumming” he warned, before burying himself to the hilt with a grunt and spilling into the condom. You laid beneath him, a panting, paint covered, sweaty mess. He caught his own breath, pulling out and gently rolling you over. 

“I think I passed out and saw god” you joked, earning a breathless chuckle from him as he tied off the condom and slipped his boxers back on, going to throw it in the trash. 

“Does this shit come off with water?” he asked you and you sat up, getting off the canvas and taking your heels off finally.

“It does…” you mutter, not expecting what was to come next. He went over to the sink in the corner of the room, setting the tap to cool water, and pumping loads of paper towels. He soaked them all, before adding soap to some and wringing them all out, before folding them up to be like little wet wipes. He came over to you, gently taking your paint covered hand with one of the soapy cloths and cleaning all of the paint from your hands before rubbing them off with the ones with just water, and repeating the process wherever there was paint. Neither of you said anything, you weren’t sure if that was just because the process was so intimate - or that you’d never had a hookup take such care of you after sex before.

“Uh- Thank you” you finally settled on, he looked up at you and smiled a bit

“F’what?” he asked, grabbing your dress for you and helping you put it on. You shrugged a bit, goosebumps covering your skin as he carefully zipped it up, his fingers soft and gentle over your skin. You felt yourself flush and look over as he tugged his jeans back on, waistband of his Calvin boxers sticking out over the waistband of them just a bit. Jesus he’s so fucking hot. 

“Being so like…nice and stuff��dunno” You took your hair back down, combing through it with your fingers. 

“I’m just doin’ what you deserve, Bunny” he said kindly as he put his shirt on.

The next day, after being sure to exchange numbers with Carmy, of course, you headed back to your studio bright and early. You unlocked the door and walked in, beginning to clean up the mess the two of you had left the night before. After a swiffer of the floors and a good wipedown of your desk, you took a proper look at the piece you two had expertly crafted together. 

Smiling at the memory, seeing fingerprints (and other prints) that only you knew what they were, grabbing more blues and some greys as well. You took your brushes, getting to work, using your brushes and hands to create a beautiful abstract mix of strokes of color. You of course got lost in the work, listening to your usual heavy rock playlist you had going when you were painting, humming to yourself a bit as the music blasts through your headphones.

Finally, you were satisfied with the way that it looked so you went over to your sink and began washing your brushes, being sure to let them dry standing so they wouldn’t ruin. You did your usual routine after, of washing up, cleaning up the studio, and leaving the canvas on your easel to dry. Finally, you dug in your jacket pocket and pull out your phone. It had been on Do Not Disturb the whole 4 hours you were working, not wanting to be bothered - and strangely see 3 texts from Carmen. You clicked them open and see

Hey - Craziest shit happened. 

Wanna come by the restaurant later?

Have something to show you.

You raised your brows, slightly confused, but send something back nonetheless 

Sure? Send the address, Need to show prof. Our collab ;) 

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you grabbed your things and headed across campus to your professors office. When you finally got there, you took your headphones off, resting them around your neck and pausing your music before knocking on the door. You waited for a come in - before entering. He greeted you by your legal name that all your teachers called you, before asking. 

“So, I’m excited to hear what you’ve come up with for your final project” he motions for you to sit, taking his reading glasses off and setting them on his desk, crossing his hands in front of him.

“Oh- Professor- I am so excited to tell you about this, so you know how all semester you’ve been wanting me to try abstract work - but I was just too nervous to let go and let my brush do the work?” you asked and he sat up, more interested now. He had been on your case about trying abstract work, but each time you tried it became another modern escapism or surrealist painting, instead of being abstract. You found it hard for yourself to just go with shape and color other then painting a feeling or an idea. He nodded, to let you know to go on.

“Well…I finally was able to do so- I have a photo for you here, I think i’m going to call it the passion of letting go” you pull the photo up on your phone and hand it over. He put his glasses back on, holding the phone back how seniors usually do and his face lights up when he gets a good glimpse of it. 

“Oh- My- yes, I love this! This is just wonderful, I can’t wait to see it in person!” he said proudly, handing your phone back. “I wanted to let you know, that your mural was an absolute hit! It was the talk of the whole gala! I do wish you were there to see just how much it touched people.

“Was it?” You said happily, the smile on your lips grew slightly. You had been extraordinarily proud of your project, so the way it was enjoyed by so many people warmed your heart. 

“Oh yes, the gentleman that bought it was quite determined to have it, he got in bidding wars with 3 other people at the gala!” He chuckled a bit. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and slickly check it under the desk while the professor went on about how he used one of your most recent realism works to help teach the freshman students about shading as you read over the address to the restaurant that Carmy had sent.

“I really hate to cut this short Professor, but I have to get going I just came by to finish off that painting- we can catch up more next week, yeah?” You got up, grabbing your bag and he nodded. The two of you said your goodbyes and when you left and were walking towards the L platform, you couldn't help but feel a bit giddy. 

Carmy saw the space where you were most creative, your natural environment, as far as you could tell just in your short-ish interaction with him, the kitchen was that place for him. You put your headphones back on, sending a quick text to Carmy and sharing your location until the end of the day so he could expect your arrival as you blasted music into your ears to try and calm your nerves. The train over was fairly quiet, it wasn’t rushhour yet and it was a Monday afternoon, so most people were still at work or school.

As you walked towards the restaurant with your apple maps directions being your guide, you couldn’t help but feel as if you’ve seen it before. As you continue to walk, you rack your brain, until finally you remembered. On your way to your dorm in your freshman year when you had first moved here, you had went to this amazing little sandwich shop. The Beef! Yeah! That was it, your mom had been complaining she was hungry the past 2 hours so you and her stopped at the first hole in the wall spot you could get something quick and got 2 beef sandwiches that you still dream about and never had again since your school was across town and you didn’t have any friends over on this side of town, so there wasn’t really any reason to come back here.

You hoped it wouldn’t offend Carmy, but you wanted to grab a sandwich before you stopped in because you knew if he tried it he’d love it too. You quickly cancel your route and type in ‘The Beef’ and click for directions - thankfully it was the exact same time away as The Bear so you could guess that Carmy already knew about the restaurant, oh well- their sandwiches still were fire enough you’d risk offending your new chef friend to get one. 

You continued walking and saw The Bears sign in the distance, looking around trying to find The Beef, but you didn’t see it. You figured you’d just ask Carmy where it was and grab a sandwich on the way home. As you approached The Bear, though, your apple maps chimed into your headphones 

“Arrived: In 50 feet you will see The Original Beef Of Chicagoland on your right” You crinkle your brows, a bit confused and just end the route. The stupid thing only knows how to get somewhere half the time anyways. You tugged open the restaurant door, to see Richie standing at the host stand. 

“Yo! What the hell you doin’ here tinkerbell? You dyin’ f’more garlic knots?” he teased as Carmy came out of the kitchen

“Hey! C’mere got somethin’ t’show you” Carmy came over and rested his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the dining room. Your cheeks flushed as Richie looked at the two of you confused as Carmy slid his hand to your waist and asked

“Havin’ a good day?” in that low, soft way that made your stomach have wild flutters. That caused your gaze to be torn away from a very confused looking Richie, and pull it back to the Greek-God like blonde beside you and you smiled a bit, looking up at him and nodding

“It’s ok… I have something to show you too -” you told him as he stopped in front of a door labeled *AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY* and dug keys out of his chefs coat. Jesus he looked so amazing in that coat. You could imagine him throwing you up on the desk in your studio after a long shift and pounding you in it, so excited to see you he couldn’t even get it off before he-

“Close your eyes” he stood behind you, gently covering your eyes and your breath hitched at the sudden feeling of him pressed behind you, his hard muscle pressing into your back as he holds your head to his chest, hand cupped over your eyes so you wouldn’t look. The simple gesture had your core on fire. 

“Oh- Ok- Ok they’re closed” you mutter, letting him lead the way. You heard a light switch after he pushed open the door, leading you forward and stopping in the room, 

“You ready?” he whispers in your ear before giving your neck a gentle kiss that made you shiver, your breath hitched in your throat and you gently bring your hand up, tugging his hand away from your eyes and opening them. You blink a few times, getting adjusted to the light and when you noticed nearly straight away what it was you looked up at Carmy, a shocked look on your face. 

“Who did this?” you asked, head snapping back and looking at your Sampaguita Skies mural, shades of whites and yellows and blues. 

“The crazy thing is I didn’t even fuckin’ say anything. This is uh- I run the place, but my uncle owns it - f’now, i’m uh…workin’ on that, but he’s been really into art lately, got us the gig at that gala I didn’t even wanna do it in the first place but I do what he says y’know. And uhh..yeah- hes gonna be mounting it on that empty wall next to the host stand after he gets it preserved” he explained and you blushed, shaking your head in disbelief as a smile grew on your face.

“Fuckin- crazy” you said and giggled a bit, resting a hand on your hip and looking back at him. “Hey I was gonna ask you- There was this place over on this side of town- The Beef - have you been?” You asked and he chuckled amusedly, nodding as he leaned against the wall and rubbed over his chin with a smile. 

“I uh- I have why?” he questioned

“Oh! Well… they have super good sandwiches you probably know I was kinda in the mood for one - sorry I’m not a fancy person, do you know where it is I was gonna grab one on the way home” you said and he nods.

“Yeah, lemme take you” he extended his arm for you to take 

“Wh- no! No- you’re working I wouldn’t want to put you out-” you start to decline but he stops you 

“Not putin’ me out at all, c’mere, I’ll take you to get one” he said and you finally relented. He took you by the hand, closing and locking the storage room behind him and leading you back towards the kitchen and he pushed open the doors.

“Yo Ebra- 2 italian beefs please for back of house” he called and got a heard chef In response. You look at him confused

“Carmy I know you're a good chef and everything but -”

“Welcome to the beef” he said with a cocky smile. You look at him even more confused, because you had been to the beef, and it was…not this fancy place. 

“Are you that competitive? That you can't let me have some other dudes sandwich?” you said and he guided you by the hand again, this time over to what looked like a drive through window except no space for cars, it was like a walk up window you’d have seen at Jersey Beach. 

“This - this is The Beef now, The Beef was us, but we wanted to do something bigger- and the locals would have had me burning on a stake if I stopped doing sandwiches, so we operate as 2 separate businesses but in the same building” he explained. 

“Holy shit - so you’re saying I can get a free beef sandwich whenever I want cause i'm your favorite artist in chicago?” you teased and he rolled his eyes with an amused smile, taking you with him back to an office and flicked the light on 

“Anytime Bunny, anytime. You gonna show me what you said you were workin on?” He shuts the door behind him, sitting down on the big plush black leather office chair and sighing in relief. You can only imagine how long he’d been on his feet today. You came over, plopping in his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Mmm yea- but I deserve a kiss” you pucker your lips and he laughed a bit, before leaning in and pecking your lips sweetly 

“For what? Guilting me into having someone make you a sandwich?” he teased and you shook your head, digging your phone out of your pocket

“For not climbing you like a tree the second I saw you in your sexy little Chefs coat, I behaved myself soo well out there” you unlocked it and found the picture, showing it to him and his brows raise in surprise. 

“Shit- we made that?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, zooming in on different parts to take it all in. 

“We did” you said happily, gently running your fingers through the curls at the base of his neck.  “Can we make another one t’night?”

Tagging bestie boops: @carmenberzattosgf @gallaghersgal @mouseymilkovich @daysofyellowroses @l4long-winded

[steffanpaul8]

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[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 3, Epilogue.

• So. This is going to be our last TRR chapter...for a while, unless they decide to do a spin-off of sorts. All the issues have been (somewhat) resolved, the MC and her friends + LI are triumphant, we've broken our beds on our wedding night, now it's time to explore the aftermath. (So sorry it took me this long, guys, I've spent a full week struggling to save whole paragraphs).

• Many thanks to @kennaxval and @boneandfur for all the screenshots and help on the Hana x MC and Maxwell x MC scenes! I used my own screenshots for Liam's playthrough, the above two + the "All the Stories Girl" YouTube channel for Hana's and Maxwell's, and the HIMEME YouTube channel for Drake's.

• So we start with waking up in our LI's arms, and it's all sweet and adorable and we're all basking in the afterglow of our first wedding night. But the LI has a surprise.

• The beach!!

• Since we'll be going on our honeymoon sometime later, the LI basically wants us to have a little fun and alone time on a private beach.

• All the LIs give us three choices of drinks (mimosas, infused water, tropical drink), and three choices of food (fruit-and-cheese-platter, french pastry and bread rolls).

• FINAL CHANCE TO SHARE AN INTIMATE MOMENT WITH THE LI!! For 15 diamonds!! That's quite a steal.

• Now...who am I to say no to a Sparkly Liam?? 😀

• So the pre-fucking activities are obviously different for each LI. It's meant to suit each of their personalities and while I loved the sex part...I really enjoyed this.

Liam takes his wife swimming (you can either splash him or take him underwater for a kiss) and then proceeds to write a love note for her in the sand. When she points out that it might get washed away in the sand, he states that the message will live on in the waves that will carry it. Gaww.

Hana's activity is SO HANA istg. Both she and the MC build a sand castle and you get a rare glimpse of "Hana-getting-carried-away-talking-about-things-she-loves" if you choose the fairytale option xD They build a castle and a moat, and it's pretty obvious that Hana loves her fairytales ("there's no such thing as too many castles") and that the activity is so representative of her wildly romantic spirit.

Maxwell agrees to get buried in the sand, and the MC can choose what form it should take (Valtoria's sigil, a sea monster or a lot of muscles). @boneandfur tells that if you choose the sea monster option you get the first mention of "unleash the kraken" if you are married to him (the first one was in the fling scene, which you obviously won't get if he's your fiancé). It's all sorts of adorable 😂

Drake has a swimming race with you, in a rather nice callback to his first beach scene (diamond-option) in Book 1 Chapter 10. Back then the race was between Drake and the MC, Hana acting as referee and producing a shell for her and a sand dollar for him later on as prizes. Here, the MC has the option of gifting Drake a beautiful conch shell, and Drake is the one who gives the MC a sand dollar.

• Guh. That's all I'll say about what follows. Guuuuuuh.

• I made Esther wear her hugeass hat just to see if she'd keep it on during sex. She didn't and now I'm very sad 😟

• It's now a few weeks later, and we're being called for a special secret ceremony that Liam has gotten planned, and that apparently only Madeleine knows (very very few) details of. You get to tell your friends (in your fiancé/e's presence if you're not married to Liam) how married life is going for you, and there's either some good natured teasing or "ugh, spare me the details" from them. Madeleine then enters, having found the perfect excuse to wear the white dress I pettily didn't allow her to wear to my wedding.

I bet my note said "pay diamonds or it's the LBD for you, bitch".

• I also love how Madeleine knows that asking Olivia not to bring daggers is a lost cause, so she might as well put a limit of the number of weapons she brings instead 😂😂

• Out of the four, two already decide on their outfits (Drake on his grey suit and Olivia on her Costume Gala Nevrakis gown), and two ask you for your opinion.

• For Hana, you can choose between the handmade cheongsam that is so precious and personal to her, and the godess-of-spring gown she wore for the Costume Gala. If you were married to her, or chose another dress for Hana to wear, the cheongsam would be perfect!! Imagine, when she finally receives honours for her contributions to her country, she will be wearing this lovely dress that has so much personal history for it and possibly may also be representing her roots as well. But I chose the spring gown, because the cheongsam she'd worn for my wedding. If I ever wind up replaying maybe I'll switch it all around a little.

• For Maxwell, you either choose between his smart black suit, or the squid suit. OF FUCKING COURSE I'm going to choose the latter. When he goes up to get his honour as Guardian, I want everyone to know that this Beaumont Boy is the Pride of His Home and His Family 😍 Same with why I'm happy that Olivia is wearing her Nevrakis gown because this event is further proof that she is redefining what it means to be a Nevrakis. (also if you choose his squid suit, he exclaims in squiggly letters about how the "cephalopod rises again". 10/10).

• For Drake, I like the full-circle enforced by the fact that this suit was what he wore on the night of Liam's Coronation. That night was the first time Drake didn't try to reject his feelings for the MC, didn't allow his guilt re: Liam to come between them, instead accepted that he felt that way and approached her (in his diamond scene). Given that this epilogue features a throwback to the Coronation...I like this extra touch.

• My corgi Joy DuPont of Valtoria/Cordonia gets his own suit too.

• Aaaaand now it's time for the finale gown!

Pretty faithful rendition of the gown on the cover, and I think it has elements of both sigils just to keep us covered either way. The gown is a rich wine/burgundy colour, gold swirls at the skirt and jewelled gold belt (phoenix sigil) white/silver-ish coloured elements on the neckline and cuffs (dove sigil). Madeleine tells us that the gown was made keeping our house colours in mind. The LI - if they're in the boutique - gets to gush, and Olivia is the only friend who gets to comment by default - very possibly because she shares a common house colour with the MC, and either woman will get to be his Consort. Alongside the Coronation Ball parallels, you can see parallels to the Costume Ball as well!

• If you're married to Liam, and therefore Queen of Cordonia, you get an extra (and free!) selection to make: your tiara! The book gives us four options:

I honestly don't know what they're supposed to symbolize really, and I don't think they would actually symbolize anything. They're just pretty headpieces meant for the country's new queen. But Ima list down what these tiaras remind me of!

Royal Rose. The "Romantic Love" pink ballgown option for the Homecoming Ball, which was Hana's choice of outfit back then and comes in her favourite colour, pink. It also reminds me of Liam, because in the beginning especially he was often associated with roses.

Gilded Grace. A gold tiara with gems embedded. The design is exquisite and intricate. Kinda reminds me of that nice gold watch Drake gifted us, but also the top half of it reminds me of the flare of a peacock's tail, so I'm also reminded of Maxwell 😄

Petal Perfect. I think it's called so because of the flower motif in the centre, surrounded by serrated edges which seem to me like leaves. I would definitely be reminded of Hana, who is associated with flowers in general!

Pearlescent. There is only one person I can think of who this tiara would remind me of: Liam! The pearl plays such a poignant part in their story if you chose that scene, because Liam found it at the Blue Grotto before he had ever met the MC, and showed it to her when their relationship was going through rough times in Capri. Back then, there was the option of rejecting it, keeping it or asking him to keep it safe until they were free to pursue their relationship.

• I had a headcanon that Esther asked Liam to keep the pearl, and that he had it placed in a tiara of hers to show her how far they had come together, and how much hope she had instilled in him. So OF COURSE I would choose the pearl tiara xD The writers seem to have forgotten about that Blue Grotto pearl, but I haven't!

•

Liam's outfit at this ceremony mirrors the MC's: burgundy with gold designs and leaf motifs. I see this as parallel to two events: the Costume Gala, where his "King Fabian" outfit matches both Olivia's and the MC's (that one mirrors Olivia's better though, because it's a bright red and not saffron-with-red-notes like the MC's avian gown). I also see this as parallel to the Beaumont Bash: where you can persuade Liam to show his support for you by wearing the Ramsford Duchy house colours of blue and white. Here, the ceremony itself seems centered largely around the MC - what with her being given the country's highest honour - so it could either be a show of unity (as a couple) or solidarity (as Liam showing his support to the MC). I also wonder if this is why Olivia is automatically given the red gown to wear, since they seem to be at least close to dating now if you're not married to Liam.

•

Interestingly the group receives honours based on their defining characteristics, which seemed to have helped in various ways in the fight against Anton. It's also a nice way to finally wrap up all their individual arcs, and validate them in the face of all the doubts they'd had about themselves throughout the series. Maxwell needs to see himself as good for being who he is, not have to transform into someone else altogether, to be seen as a person with something valuable to contribute. Hana still needs to navigate who she would like to be, and how she would like to live her life, and this title is an incredible step forward. Drake has had the most to prove in this book, making it clear that as a commoner he is important and that the nobility need to change their outlook towards commoners in general. Olivia is still redefining what it means to be a Nevrakis and to prove that her family name can be one that stands for loyalty and honour, not treachery.

• The Champion of the Realm title is given to the MC regardless. Even in a fail playthrough she gets it, and I think that's mostly on the basis of the very last scene, since Anton is vanquished by default. Does it ring false? Hell yeah it does. On one level that's the way the story goes, on another - it makes everything EVERY member of our core group says about her sound absolutely weird.

• Why does she get a higher honour above the others? You actually get the chance to ask Liam that. And he does respond - both in his speech during the ceremony, and later on.

Speech: He mentions her position as an outsider in this country and how she has embraced Cordonia as her home, but also speaks of having fought for Cordonia and unified it as a country. The second definitely seems to be the overriding theme when it comes to her: the ability to unite people to a cause.

Do I Deserve This? This is a question the MC has the option of asking Liam after the ceremony, and he stresses again on her working as a unifier. Her quality is not as much intelligence, or bravery, or strength - it's the ability to inspire people to reach their highest potential. He speaks of it as "You don't just make Cordonia better, you inspire us to become better ourselves". Which, if your MC is just all-round horrible to everyone and doesn't even have people come for her wedding, is a load of horseshit. Stop being nice to her Liam.

• Ana de Luca referring to our social season moniker in Book 1 (Mystery Woman/The American) was a nice touch.

• Liam also (finally!) addresses in public the vast imbalance between the nobility and the common populace, and how he would like to change that. I've seen complaints that he has basically "placed his buddies" in the Council, so he is essentially making the same mistake - but I can only see that argument as valid if a. those "buddies" weren't involved in the eventual takedown of Anton, and b. you ignore what he says about getting a roster of candidates ready for the council itself. It's still an ongoing process, so us jumping to criticize something that's just been announced is a little premature.

• Ana says we haven't ever had a council...which makes me question how much of Book 1 the writers have forgotten, honestly. Because...like...

Both screenshots are from the initial chapters of Book 1, mind you. They're possibly not the same as the Council Liam is planning on, but they're definitely there - just that they're invisible! Like the Cordonian populace for most of this series.

• Time for a Ball!!

• Since this is the epilogue, the Honour Ball (which is what I choose to call it rn) harks back both to Liam's Coronation Ball, and to the Masquerade Ball that introduced the MC to the nobility in the first place. The first half is a conversation between the MC, Olivia and Hana (parallel to our very first scene in Book 1, which is Hana congratulating the MC and Olivia maintaining that no matter how attractive she may seem to the Prince, she doesn't have what it takes to be chosen). Hana was sad about the prospect then, but happier for their friendship now. Olivia jealously dismissed the MC as not worthy of Liam then, but accepts that she is worthy of the honours bestowed on her now. Even the MC's responses now parallel the Coronation Ball: a gracious response, a threatening response, and a response that implies closeness ("I would rather date you"/"Just shut up and give me a hug").

• The second half of the Honour Ball scene is the LI dancing with the MC. At the Coronation Ball, this moment was our introduction to Liam, but now our respective LIs come forward for our first dance. In those playthroughs, Liam immediately asks Olivia to his first dance instead. The conversation then turns to their first Ball (Masquerade) and explores the LIs' initial thoughts on the MC.

Liam speaks about how there was a mixture of concern and love in his feelings for the MC. Hana speaks of how the MC transformed the way she looked at herself. Maxwell speaks of wanting the MC from the very beginning but withdrawing because he believed she was meant for Liam, not him. Drake speaks of how wrong he was in believing the MC didn't have what it took to survive, and how proud he is that she doesn't need a protector. All in all, toothachingly sweet 😊

• "I'm ready to do a lot more than dance". Esther is thirsty, from her first scene to her last 😂

• Alright so we now go a whole bunch of extra scenes meant to wrap up everyone's story, and I'll begin with the animals and Olivia before moving forward to the LIs.

Pets: Joy (the corgi) is found raiding the kitchens and making a mess, and in a very fun scene, the MC gets to set a few (very funny) ground rules. The first set deal with house behaviour, the second deal with their interactions with the non-royal LIs, and the last deal with some funny rules about the dog in Cordonia, including not getting involved with cults or overthrowing Liam. It ends with the caption "12/10 The Goodest Boy" (I'm inclined to agree 😄). There's a tiny scene involving Celestia (the horse), Hansel and Gretel (the red pandas), where the MC steals a moment and makes them lovely promises of pampering. All of these scenes are included if you buy all these pets - a little bit like that bonus scene involving Bubbles and the Mechawolf in TCaTF.

What I Think: These are not meant to be very deep - they're just fun, playful little bonus scenes meant to bring a smile to your face, and these scenes definitely succeed in that.

Olivia: This scene involves Olivia regaling Kiara and Penelope's families with the tale of Anton's defeat, and I believe it's the first time we see both families together (they've shared the same spaces but not exactly been shown talking to each other). The futures of all the three ladies are outlined: with Zeke disinheriting himself to become a vet, Kiara now gets to be next in line for running Castelsarreillan after Hakim, as well as the diplomatic liaison on the Royal Council. Penelope will now be a dog fashion designer with plenty support from Joelle, and possibly marrying Ezekiel. Olivia will be meeting Liam to discuss the dissolution of her marriage to Anton, and if you married someone else she will be doing it over dinner, which suggests the beginnings of a romantic relationship. She also plans to tour Lythikos in the aftermath of what Anton and Lucretia have done, and make sure that there are no more rules and stipulations from Lythikos that will pose a problem for Cordonia itself.

What I Think: I like how this wraps up several things at once and brings back that initial conflict of what Zeke's decision to be a vet (even though, frankly speaking, I kinda wish he didn't exist). The highlight was the sincerity and passion with which Olivia plans her next steps for her duchy and country. This scene neatly ties up all the women's stories with satisfying resolutions: the most satisfying of all being that Kiara is justly rewarded for all her hard work. I do take issue, however, with how the writers use Kiara to sugarcoat how terrible the MC and her friends were to her, in front of her mother Joelle. Then again it's not like the MC was particularly honest about her motives for talking to Kiara in Lythikos but...the last thing I want to see is Kiara giving credit where it is not due.

Drake: You begin by talking to several people: Gladys if you took her diamond scene and set her free, Mara, and Drake. Bastien is present, but he speaks more to Drake than to you. Gladys gives you an update on her life and thanks you for giving her a second chance. You get to either thank Mara for "risking her life" or tell her she sucks at her job. Drake talks to a number of people: Bastien, Neville and Rashad. Bastien reveals to Drake that his father was also once Guardian of the Realm (why was his family almost cast out so cruelly then, if what Jackson did was so phenomenal that he got this honour for it?) and would have been proud of Drake today. Neville apologizes to both Drake and the MC, and depending on the MC's response either walks away on good terms or acts like the spoilt brat that he is. Drake then reveals to the MC that she was his inspiration for taking up the Council Seat and that he wants to do more for the common people of Cordonia. Just seconds later, he gets his chance to make a change when Rashad comes forward with a proposal to use unused lands in the duchies to make public spaces for the people, a proposal Drake is only too happy to be involved in.

If you are married to Drake, there is acknowledgement all round of his new position, one extra dialogue from Neville if you respond positively to him, and it changes his dialogue with the MC just a wee bit.

What I Think: What makes Drake's scene so special is the fact that it, by far, most effectively shows the change in nobles' attitudes towards commoners. It is also symbolically important that it happens at the place where the MC sees the palace for the first time with both Maxwell and Drake, AND where Neville and Drake once duelled (and Neville acknowledges this). This is where Gladys - the representative commoner - chooses to thank us and assure us of her support. This is also where we have the chance to take our security detail to task if we so choose (we all thought she was going to be proven as shady and as a traitor...turns out she was just inefficient). The cherry on top is Rashad - the rebel heir - approaching Drake with something that will benefit both nobles and commoners. It kind of shows us the true triumph lies here, in giving to the common populace before unscrupulous elements can sway them. Could this have been done earlier? Of course! But I feel like narratively this is more effective.

Maxwell: For one, thank God Maxwell isn't a surgeon!! This scene includes BertVannah, Bartie and Maxwell, and delves into the upcoming wedding, Bertrand recognizing that he doesn't need to be as hard on himself and his brother as he was in the past, and Maxwell revealing that he's going to write a book about the MC's rags-to-royalty tale. Bertrand is now happy to be honest about the state of his financial affairs and his determination to keep Savannah and Bartie happy. He also gives Maxwell the chance to handle his own finances independently.

If you're married to Maxwell, you get to refer to Savannah as your sister-in-law, Maxwell speaks about your love "changing along the way" if you married someone besides Liam. In his playthrough he speaks of the book as their love story.

What I Think: Overall the Beaumont Brothers storyline got some amount of buildup but very little resolution. We don't know what pushed the House into financial ruin, we don't know the history behind them as we should considering we're an honorary family member, we're never told the secret things that Maxwell hinted at in the Shanghai Night Market group scene in Book 2. The book and its proceeds is said to be the key to restoring their House to its former glory financially, but that's just a very odd way of ending that arc. On one hand I'm glad there is a resolution, on the other it seems a little weak to me.

Hana: Hana is seated at a piano in front of her parents, Madeleine, and Madeleine's parents. Lorelai repeats the mistakes she'd made in Hana's childhood, trying to push Hana into parading her skills in front of guests. Hana refuses without much success, but Lorelai doesn't seem to be really listening to her. At this point, the MC gets to intervene and Xinghai agrees, leading Hana to open up about wanting to share her skills by choice rather than being forced to do so, and Lorelai apologizes...yet again. There is some talk about parenting from Adeleide and Godfrey who are watching this exchange, and we find out that Madeleine is now Royal Communications Director. Once the parents have left, Madeleine stays behind to apologize to Hana for the bullying she meted out to the latter during the Engagement Tour, and Hana tells her that Madeleine will have to earn her forgiveness. Madeleine then promises to ensure that no one harms Hana in court (hah). Once she leaves, Hana joyfully plays piano for the MC herself.

If you're married to Hana, the end of the scene has a few changes. Instead of jokily throwing pillows at each other, they jokily argue over who the best wife is instead (for each, it's the other). The tune Hana plays for the MC as her wife is different from what she plays as her friend. The friend version has her play the upbeat TRR theme tune, and the LI version has Hana play what the narrative calls a "slow, sultry tune"...which turns out to be the mournful TRR theme tune. What, is being married to Hana supposed to be an occasion for sadness now?? Because you're definitely succeeding in making it look like that.

What I Think: I guess I should be happy that Madeleine's behaviour was addressed at all, though it was clearly a rushed, last-minute job that happened because of some amount of arm-twisting. It's also nice that they bring us full-cirlce by referencing Hana's piano scene in Book 1, and showing that rebuilding her relationship with her parents (she shouldn't have to, but this is clearly the way the writers WANT to go) is going to be an agonizing, painful process. They show the parallels between Hana's upbringing and Madeleine's upbringing as well - it's not a parallel I'm happy seeing, but I was aware they were going to take that route way back in Book 2.

That said, there are things that won't let me enjoy the scene. One is that at this point, I'm not seeing Lorelai learning or growing enough. I know this might be an attempt to show that these things take time, but the Lorelai scenes are honestly getting repetitive and exhausting. And as someone who has been where Hana has been? Right down to family members who accept they need to be better but don't actually? I can tell you it's fucking exhausting to have to deal with that again and again and again. For Hana's sake at least I wish I could actually see her LEARN from what she's done and ACTIVELY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Now we go to my biggest problem with this scene. Madeleine.

It's good that she confesses to her motives and accepts Hana's decision. It's good that Hana gets to be firm about not forgiving her until SHE is comfortable doing so. It's good that Hana sees her own forgiveness as something that should be earned - not by a paltry two-minute apology but through genuine effort. But the problem for me lies in two areas:

1. Madeleine's Excuses: That's exactly what they are - excuses. Madeleine claims that she wanted to "break" Hana in an effort to get her to shed her "nice act". Which is bullshit. Even if Hana's kindness was an act...was she hurting anyone? Was her "act" actually causing harm? Madeleine's actions exceeding even Hana's perceived crime. What business was it of Madeleine's to rip this woman apart based on her own assumptions? And if she recognized that Hana was genuinely good, why was she okay with minimizing what she did to her? We can bring a thousand excuses about her sexuality and her upbringing and how hard all of this was - it doesn't make the gravity of what was done to Hana and the ridiculousness of Madeleine's claims any less.

2. The MC's Fake Self-Righteousness: This bit was perhaps the most jarring part of the entire exchange. By default, when Madeleine speaks about wanting to break Hana, the MC seems furious. But it's more than that. The MC sounds like she's hearing these words for the first time.

The only good thing about it is that Madeleine calls her out on it. But besides that, it just...makes all the MC's claims about being there for Hana and having Hana's back ring so false. One of my biggest problems with this whole series of events was how much the MC herself minimized and diluted what Hana went through at Madeleine's hands. How little she seemed to care about arming her friend with the entire, unvarnished truth. To have her act all protective in front of Hana now, to pretend like she'd never heard those poisonous words...that's just a whole other level of shady. It reflects even worse on the MC if they're married, because dafaq kind of wife are you if you couldn't arm your wife emotionally against this snake of a human being? That would be a major disservice to Hana-romancers who hated the way Madeleine treated her, and Hana stans in general because they weren't given a fair chance to properly protect and support Hana. Instead for the most part they'd be forced to choose the least worst options, rather than ones they were truly happy with. It sucks.

Liam: A short but significant scene. You find Liam in conversation with his stepmother Regina, and greet them. She is happy and proud of Liam and the MC, and everything they have achieved. She thanks you, and you can choose to either respond positively or maintain that she should have trusted you in the first place. Either way, she responds with grace, and then leaves. You speak about not having seen the throne room much, and Liam opens up to you about not being able to come here without being haunted by his memories of his father. He confesses to struggling with moving on from Constantine's death, understandably, and for the first time, feels safe enough emotionally to cry in the MC's presence.

If you're married to Liam, Regina speaks about how you two as a couple remind her of herself and Constantine, and expresses happiness in the changes you have brought about in Liam. Furthermore, the conversation about Constantine is extended to involve Liam and the MC's own plans for a family, and how they will strive not to repeat Constantine's mistakes. This is a fitting throwback especially to the date scene with Liam, where he speaks about how he wants a family where everyone is open to each other.

What I Think: I'd been silent for a long time about things in Liam's storyline that have disappointed me, mostly because I felt that given my LI was the central LI I fared better than most (and it's true - I did). But it doesn't change the fact that I am disappointed they didn't explore his potential. Neither his fiancée nor his friends nor his family paid enough attention to his own emotional state, and where the narrative could have had us tackle his demons they failed in creating opportunities for us to do so. A single tear slipping down his cheek is something, but to me it presents similar issues to Hana's last scene - that it is a rushed job of a journey that could have been resolved step by step, that could have been given some attention. I'm happy we got to see the statesman behind the lover, but doesn't mean it should be one or the other. There was enough room to balance out both and actually address his trauma and his health, yet it was ignored for the most part.

That said, this scene was poignant on its own, and I always love it when there are little moments of bonding between Liam and Regina, because I think that relationship itself is quite underrated.

• Now that we have finished checking up on everyone, we take one last look at the ballroom that held so many memories - sweet and horrific - for us, before Mara tells us it's time to get into the carriage for our honeymoon.

• We say goodbye to all our allies first (and get to hug Olivia if we want), and then to our friends who are waiting at the carriage. There's a lovely little group hug, and if you bought the horse she will be the one drawing the carriage. If you've bought the corgi, he also gives you a fond goodbye before you leave. As do the Cordonian citizens by default.

• The carriage scene is a beautiful private moment, because each LI gets to explore the moment they first met the MC, and how incredibly fortunate they are to have been on this journey together. All of them speak of the incredible odds they faced together, and how they will be willing to face them all over again if it meant a lifetime with the MC. It's a touching emotional moment, and all the four scenes have been written lovingly. The final lines of this book are the kind that stay with you, long after the book is finished:

LI: Is this moment everything you wanted it to be? (or some such variation, depending on your LI)

MC: No...it's better.

General Thoughts:

• Even if you choose every single wrong option possible, the story ends well for you. You don't get people to support you and very few people besides the ladies of the court and your immediate friends and LI's family make it to the wedding, but somehow they magically appear at the reception. Regardless of how badly you performed, your final actions fighting Anton earn you the Champion of the Realm title anyway, and in this case it's an unfair advantage to give. But the thing is this: every single LI in this group showers praises over you no matter what you do. That's the way this particular story goes, and it's written such that it won't go any other way no matter how much you try. The MC in a lot of cases is a reflection of the player, and at the end of the day I think they want the player to leave this story happy with their journey, even if it's too ridiculous to be true.

• This is a fitting end to the series overall: it allows us to explore everyone else's endings, has great parallels with the past, and allows us enough wiggle room to imagine our MC's future with their spouse. With regards to QTs, I still have Book 1 to complete, but I'd like to get some distance from the series itself first before I tackle it again.

Final Thoughts:

When I started this book last year, I got in completely expecting to be bored. Bored and totally not invested. I gave my MC the name I felt the least connected to (Alice Bennet), and barely gave much thought to which LI I would pick. However, something always brought me back, something always got me looking forward to the next chapter. Thus began my love affair with this book.

There are a lot of reasons why this book grew on people. The intrigue hidden behind this fairytale-like frame story. The little connections between this series and TCaTF, one of their most popular flagship books. The camaraderie between the members of the core group themselves. The way even the not-so-nice characters grew on you. The way each LI had something unique to bring to the table. Somehow...even the people who couldn't be bothered about the series could find something they would have even a passing interest in.

Do I miss this book? A little. This book got me back into writing essays - something I always loved doing - and fanfic. I got to learn so much, explore so much, and contribute so much thanks to my fondness for it, and for the fandom that seemed to love it as much as I did.

Am I sad it's gone? Well, in some ways yes. But I'd rather it did when it had to instead of being dragged along, and I would rather not see the writers destroy the characters they had zero interest in, further (I love this book - but I also love it enough that I will never forget to point out where it fucked up). I think it had a good run, lasting more than a year, and it ended well.

For better or for worse, I'm glad I got to be a part of this journey.