#Sure personally I cackle over this episode but that's only so I don't scream my frustration at the characters

[amtrak12]

[akariarda]

Will you ever stop breaking my heart ,all over and over again...

EPISODE 6

Ep5. More talking and angs and Pixal is in an unpleasant situation. I promise that the real action will start in a few chapters.

"You need to be with me."

Misako struggled to breathe when she heard those words.

'You can still reach him.' she said to herself in false hope.

"Why?" She asked him weakly, a voice that showed more emotion than she wanted.

"I have to." Garmadon said as he sat next to her.

"I'm doing this for Ninjago." He said as he took her hands in his and gently loosened the restraints around her wrists.

"I wouldn't tie you up." Garmadon said with disgust. "But I know what you're like. You'll fight to the last breath, like an animal in a cage."

"I am like an animal in a cage." Misako coldly responded to him. "Even worse. Because an animal never loves its captor."

Garmadon didn't have a respond on this.

"All this for Ninjago? Is that why you allowed them to bring you back to life, the evil version of yourself?"

"You will never understand the reasons I had." Garmadon said coldly and lonely. "It's all for you, Lloyd..."

"How is this for us?" Misako angrily shouted and moved as if she would jump at Garmadon but he caught her bound hands.

"You're trying to kill Lloyd.."

"Enough." Garmadon said coldly. "You need to rest."

"Stop." Misako angrily said. "Stop switching roles, from the cruel captor and occupier to the one who wants the best for everyone."

Garmadon cut her off and leaned suddenly over her.

"Do you want me to only be cruel!!?"

Misako was momentarily taken aback by his words, but quickly regained her composure.

"Better that than to think my husband has returned when he hasn't." She retorted boldly, raising her voice.

"Your husband is dead, that weakling is dead. Only a destroyer remains."

"I see." Misako replied in the same tone.

"What do you see?" Garmadon asked her.

"A lonely person, no, a monster doomed to destruction." Misako replied quietly.

"Don't you dare!" Garmadon squeezed her tighter. "You forget who is in danger here."

"You forget that I don't care about myself." Misako insisted.

After her response they fell silent. No one knew what to say.

~~~~~

"How can't you see what's happening?" Pixal asked Harumi as she pressed her against the floor.

"Emperor Garmadon, he.."

"No!" Harumi shouted again. "Let me go!"

"You just don't want to hear the truth," Pixal reasoned with her. "Emperor Garmadon is hurting people, he.."

"And so what?" an irritating voice interjected.

"I don't see a problem with that." Ultra Violet cackled maniacally and lunged towards Pixal, who flew back.

"I will kill you robot!" Ultra Violet screamed and moved towards Pixal, only to be stopped by Harumi.

"I have a plan," she said.

"It's not over yet."Pixal attacked Ultra Violet.

~~~~

"Let's negotiate then." Misako said, her throat dry.

"I hope you understand, dear, that you're not in a position to negotiate." Garmadon told her, demonstrating by showing her hands that he still held in his own.

"I'm not negotiating for myself." Misako retorted.

"For whom then?" Garmadon skeptically raised an eyebrow.

"For the safety of Lloyd and the others." Misako said.

"Oh really?" Garmadon was angry. "They have defied my rule, they deserve the harshest punishment. To be all destroyed." Garmadon said angrily.

"Please, if there is anything I can do..." Misako pleaded desperately.

"Anything?" Garmadon playfully raised an eyebrow.

"Almost anything." Misako said.

"Not good enough." Garmadon said and stood up.

"No, wait!" Misako desperately shouted after him.

"Please, anything, just make sure Lloyd is safe."

"Are you sure?" Garmadon approached her.

Misako didn't answer, she just swallowed.

"You know the price won't be small." Garmadon said sternly.

"I know." Misako said bravely.

Garmadon took a deep breath as if he was about to say something, but then he looked at her and for a moment it seemed like something had changed in him.

His eyes had that something she knew in him.

"Rule with me." He said,likw it was hard to even say.

"Rule with me, and Lloyd can be there if he listens."

~~~~~

"I have the robot." Ultra Violet grinned when they captured Pixal.

"Now what?" Harumi asked. "She won't give us any information."

"Then I have an idea." Ultra Violet laughed maniacally

EPISODE 7

[wistfulrat]

this week’s fics! feat. bakeries, bookshops, bisexual awakenings of the angsty and fluffy sort, wolfstar goddads being tender as hell, desi harry reconnecting with his culture, domestic drarry, a lap dance set to akon’s smack that, and more!

But That’s History by @ebbet - 54k - T Harry Potter starts his first year as Muggle Studies Professor only to find that Draco Malfoy has been hired to teach History of Magic.

listen to me. this is one of the funniest drarry fics i've ever read. i was cackling in my bed at 2am because harry’s internal monologues throughout this fic are unhinged. insanely quotable. “what was he, a lothario” and “you were crushing me with your muscular thighs!” are lines that live rent free in my empty head. harry has never played anything cool a day in his life. there’s a faculty meeting where the teachers are planning the yule ball and debating the merits of a DJ when harry decides he must defend his muggle-music-loving honor by dancing seductively to akon’s smack that while a blushing draco loses his mind. i fucking screamed. and the best part is that in between the comedic scenes threading the overall story, you have extremely tender moments of like, padma patil helping harry become a more rooted desi by sharing their cultural traditions, harry proudly donning his sherwani. draco wrestling with his past, going to harry’s lgbtq+ club for students, being sheepish with ron and hermione. ugh, comedic writers with emotional depth are clever and talented as hell!!

Realities, Unfurling by @ebbet - 45k - M Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban into a changed world.

incredible collage-fic told from multiple povs. 8yrs post-war and everything’s changed. the current state of the magical world unfolds via slice-of-life snapshots from a truly stunning cast. non-binary harry whom is running a non-prof org dedicated to building tolerance and establishing equality for marginalized identities. post-prison-release draco whose life will be changed by the internet. neville’s tender relationship with blaise. andromeda’s fiercely protective mothering. remus and sirius being alive and very hot and just, the tender goddads harry deserved. cho chang being brilliant. baker pansy’s softened edges. found families abound. harry being flustered by their crush on draco and making personalized playlists on an iPod nano.

that all might sound narratively cluttered but the author more than pulls this off. glorious, start to finish.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 83k - E This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

cinematic. a love letter to oregon’s expansive landscapes and lively cities. it’s harry finding home in unexpected places and people. in the vast silence of rolling fields, endless coasts, and starry night skies big enough to feel like you’re adrift in space. and it’s also the lingering, intimate quiet of early mornings in a bakery, sitting on a park bench overlooking the city as you eat ice cream next to your crush. it’s harry watching ginny and luna dance and work around each other like bees. it’s the slow unfolding of harry and draco’s relationship as they fill each other’s quiet. finishing this fic is like waking from a good dream. transporting, immersive, lovely. 

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft - 20k - E Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

first of all, i feel very seen by draco being a gay-who-can’t-drive. it’s called representation. but mostly i love the ease of harry and draco’s banter, a flustered harry discovering his sexuality, and the way this fic addresses biphobia. also very emo over this exchange: “I think I might be scared of you, but probably not for the reasons you think.” “Yes.” Draco stares at Harry. “I think I might be scared of you too.”

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 40k - E When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

so much to love about this fic. the beautiful settings, from kolkata to mumbai, to the holi festival and colorful lively streets, to remote cave settlements and old intricate temples. it’s harry in the homeland, reconnecting to his family’s heritage and confronting the weight of imperialism in his history. it’s nipping the white savior complex in the bud. this part: That is what England left behind. That is what it still stands for, despite whatever mask of respectability and honour it presents. . .You don't get to step aside and let someone else deal with the mess. You have to listen and learn and then act, Malfoy, you need to learn how to fix your own mess. This is why we're here. my indigenous ass cheered. HP certainly sells the british fantasy but HP fanfic?? fuck jkr, fuck the crown. i love that this fic doesn’t romanticize england’s history. i love that we get to see the vast resilience and beauty of post-colonial india.

Purity Control by yrfrndfrnkly - 28k - T In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

tender 8th year fics where they go from bristly as fuck to understanding and soft 100% guaranteed to make me emo as hell. all the teens have traumas and no one wants to talk about it but eventually Things are Talked About. it’s good of the adults to finally notice. everyone just wants someone to hold their hand. and this part: “You’re the only person around here who’s a bigger mess than I am.” “I thought maybe we could be a mess together,” pls don’t look at me as i weep over their gentle empathy.

Advent, a comic by dustmouth - WIP - T It's Harry and Draco's first Christmas together and Draco is determined to live his full yuletide fantasy, come hell or high water.

dustmouth, patron saint of whimsical drarry. whose illustrations singlehandedly reinvented wizarding fashion. whose cheeky and tender comics are like a soothing balm to the utter depravity of this carnal world. harry and draco being domestic, draco’s xmas spirit brand being “traditional unhinged”!! extremely my shit. we’ll absolutely be reading this all december.

Little Spaces by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd​ - WIP - E Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry. This is a roleplay, which means Harry is written by one author (lazywonderland) and Draco by another (dracoladon).

the switch in distinct character voices works so well for this fic!! tonally i feel like i'm watching an episode of the office. i personally love harry and draco being Pissed Off at how much they want to bone each other. the battle of the tapenade was the most riveting dinner scene i've read in a minute. clever, hilarious, emotionally tense. can’t wait until that inevitable moment post hate-sex when they’re gonna be like “oh noooo it’s a Heart Boner as well!! >:((” hell ya we’re subscribing for chapter updates.

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise by @teacup-tai​ - WIP - E In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

non-magical bookshop AU. remus and sirius’ relationship is a marvel. the ease of their affection with harry makes me so emo. draco’s friends being insistently present even as he tries to isolate himself. this is a story about acceptance, found families, and falling in love at a distance. the intimacy, the longing, the tenderness. what a fic!! i keep coming back to this part:...he looks at ease, inside his body, a body he needed to fight for. He��d made peace with his struggles and his scars. And Draco realises he wants that. He wants to be at ease inside his body, the body that now carries a virus. He wants to be at peace with his own existence. you hurt for draco so deeply but you get moments like these where he affords himself a kindness that feels foreign and it’s just!! the boys navigating grief and learning to be vulnerable. so good.

[monstersqueen]

Wooden overcoats !!! S01E02 - Flowers for Chapman

2 things to say :

one, chapman started it;

two, ah, piffling vale. the bloodthirsty mob.

We’re working ourselves ragged trying to scrape together enough to pay those instalments on the new kettle

... i don't know if it's a commentary on the price of kettle or indication that even this early on the funns were already broke.

anyway i understand why customer would rather go to the one who doesn't scream bloody murder when you ask for a buffet.

ANTIGONE: We can’t go on like this, Rudyard! RUDYARD: We’re not going to. ANTIGONE: Cyanide pills? RUDYARD: Not yet.

ok im going to assume antigone is jumping to suicide and rudyard is jumping to murder, because if i assume they're both thinking about suicide i'm. not going to like it very much.

of course maybe they're BOTH jumping to murder. and rudyard is the one not yet there.

GEORGIE: I was talking to Agatha at the sweet shop and she said that Eric’s been going to the market every day and buying out the entire supply of flowers.

no seriously chapman started it.

RUDYARD: Twenty-one. Seek, seeks, wreck, wreckage, disturb, disrupt, destroy, sabotage, funeral, next, revenge, kill, beat, rival, must, go, room, only, for, one, indigo. GEORGIE: Any inspiration? RUDYARD: (BEAT) No. No, nothing at all. Perhaps another round – wait a minute. Wait... Yes. Yes! Of course! Words! GEORGIE: Wreck, wreckage, disrupt, destroy – yeah! RUDYARD: No, not these words, words! We write an advert and put it in the local paper!

and, seriously, putting an ad in the newspaper - after trying to get flowers - is still. really not over the top. it's even normal i'd say. especially contrasted with the inspiration in the words isn't it?

unlike the guy buying ALL the flowers for a publicity stunt (...*thinks about chapman's immediate past* - yeah ok i can see why he would want to honor every grave)

GEORGIE: I’m busy in the morning. If we’ve got a funeral tomorrow, I need to repair the transport. RUDYARD: I mean, we could walk? Like we used to? Strapping a coffin to the back of a moped does lack a certain finesse. GEORGIE: Speed and efficiency, sir.

question : are the funns trying not to spend money because they don't have any or because they're just mean petty little people ?

signs point to : they're broke.

RUDYARD: (BEAT) You? ANTIGONE: Yes. RUDYARD: Go outside? ANTIGONE: Yes!

episode 2 and chapman is already provoking positive change.

Antigone is going outside !

Antigone slipped into the all-over outdoor suit that she’d received as an eighteenth birthday present from her long deceased mother

dont mind me just keeping track of the funns parents.

ANTIGONE: Here we are then. Daytime. (BEAT) It’s not a bit like I remembered it. Still, this is what normal people experience. (BEAT) Antigone, you are a normal person. You are a perfectly ordinary, everyday person. (BEAT) Better put the helmet on.

antigone. antigone, darling. i've listened to all four seasons of wooden overcoats, and let me tell you : you're underselling yourself if you think you're a normal person. you are extraordinary and you have every right to take pride in it.

ANTIGONE: (D) Has Chapman bought them all? PETUNIA: Now I can’t disclose the confidential identity of my newest and most attractive client, can I?

chapman started it.

PETUNIA: I often forget myself. How ‘bout we discuss it over a glass of something tonight? Say eight o’clock? ERIC: Afraid I’ve already got something laid on for this evening. PETUNIA: What’s her name? (CACKLES) ERIC: (POLITE CHUCKLE) Very good. Right, what have we got here...

love how uncomfortable - and used to it - he obviously is.

ANTIGONE: (DEEP SMELL) Oh! They smell just like the old lady we’ve got lying in our mortuary! ERIC: Sure. ANTIGONE: That’s a good thing. ERIC: Is it? Right.

he's so confused by her. love it. she's a mortician dude. of course most of her references includes corpses !

ANTIGONE: “As Soon as Possible”. (BEAT) I mean, no, I shouldn’t be talking. Company secrets. I’ve said too much. ERIC: I won’t steal them. ANTIGONE: Why not, you’re the competition! Goodbye. ERIC: Antigone, wait – do you want to grab a coffee sometime? ANTIGONE: Caffeine makes my hair turn green. ERIC: You’ve got some great ideas; I’d just love to discuss the business with you. Friendly competition! How about it?

...kinda want to slap him for that.

ERIC: I look forward to it! I mean- MOPED SPEEDS AWAY. ... That was a silly thing to say.

no but the way you can see he DOES truly fancy georgie at the beginning by the way he's. clumsy about it.

(he'll be even worse with antigone it's wonderful)

(it's not that i ship it it's that. i like seeing erci embarrass himself.)

(yes i want you to imagine chapman beign THAT awkward over rudyard and rudyard not noticing and being STILL is unbearable self at chapman. it's even better)

RUDYARD: I just thought it was embalming, how difficult could it be? ANTIGONE: Very difficult indeed!!!

rudyard. rudyard why.

RUDYARD: Oh for – Antigone, these are gardenias, I expressly asked for lilies- ANTIGONE: GET OUT!!

yeah he deserves that.

MADELEINE: (V.O.) Rudyard left the office with a deserved sense of elation and confidence. He’d grabbed a bull by the horns, turned it round, and placed an advertisement into a local newspaper. Today nothing could stop him.

rudyard is so very relatable sometimes.

MADELEINE: (V.O.) The funeral of Mrs Coddrington was a thoroughly miserable affair and thus, Rudyard felt, an overwhelming success.

well yes. it's a funeral.

GEORGIE: Bloody ‘ell, Eric’s on every page. “Putting the fun in funerals.” Two, three, four, six-

EXCUSE ME CHAPMAN STARTED IT.

anyway now they've run out of rational options, time for the dark comedy of rudyard putting in places doomed schemes that always turned against him.

ANTIGONE: You can’t sabotage a funeral! RUDYARD: I’m not sabotaging a funeral, I’m sabotaging a cheap, tawdry promotion that tarnishes the very name of the funerary practice – it’d be a crime not to do it!

well i mean. he's not really wrong.

MADELEINE: (V.O.) I wasn’t eager to engage in sabotage but – after all – Rudyard did allow me to live in the skirting board rent free, so I owed him something. I sat in his top pocket as he hurried over to the funeral of old Colonel Kevin Hubbard, who had mistaken a grenade for a can of diet cola and had accidentally detonated himself.

indeed. also : what even is that cause of death.

RUDYARD: No, Madeleine, you can’t plug your new book! (BEAT) Wait, what new book-

*side eyes rudyard* wow, you really do forget things about other people as soon as you notice them, don't you.

this said he DOES understand madeleine, so.

JERRY: What an appalling man! TANYA: And not even wearing any trousers! RUDYARD: They’re just very short! I need to buy another pair!

oh eh the funns are broke by the way.

(ruining a funeral IS really awful, though, so i understand the outrage. on the otehr hand, here goes piffling, already kicking rudyard. it's sure going to be fun...)