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27dragons · 2 months ago

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Countdown to 2025: Dec 1

Welcome to this year's Countdown to the New Year! If you missed them last year, I'll be posting a ficlet (300+ words) every day in December and on Jan 1, using a (more or less) random generation of: AU, fandom/ship, and winter/holiday-themed prompt word. I'll tag the AU and ship, and also put all those things at the beginning of the ficlet so you can skip things you don't like, and will also tag all of them with "countdown to 2025" so you can find the ones you missed. So without further ado, let's get started!

Medical AU / Witcher - Geraskier / Ice Sculpture

Geralt was dragging. Nothing like this ever happened when Eskel was on call, but it seemed every damned time it was Geralt’s turn on the rotation, something happened. He’d had to roll out of bed at two in the morning yet again, and was up to his elbows in blood and guts by two-thirty.

Four hours of emergency surgery later, he just wanted a cup of fucking coffee and to collapse onto the couch in the break room to try to get a nap before his actual shift started at seven. He was too old to keep residents’ hours anymore. Not for the first time, he considered leaving the hospital and opening a private practice, but then he’d have to hire staff, and that would mean talking to people. He’d become a surgeon precisely because it meant that 90% of his interactions with his patients would be while they were unconscious.

Thank Melitele, the break room was almost deserted when he shoved through the door -- it was close enough to shift change that no one was on an actual break. The only other person in the room was -- Geralt cursed inwardly -- Jaskier, who was standing at the sink wearing a ridiculous set of superhero-covered scrubs..

Jaskier was bent over, doing something in the sink. Geralt took a second to enjoy the way the position stretched the pediatrician’s scrubs tightly over his ass. (Just because the man was annoying didn’t mean Geralt couldn’t appreciate the visuals.)

Geralt’s appreciation was broken an instant later at a loud clattering sound, swiftly followed by an eloquent stream of cursing.

“What,” Geralt said, “are you doing.”

Jaskier spun around so fast it was a wonder he didn’t develop vertigo and fall over. “Geralt!” he said, far too loudly and cheerfully for the pre-dawn hour. “My favorite wielder of scalpels! What brings you to our fine establishment so early in the morning?”

“Emergency.” Geralt walked over to the sink. It was filled to the brim with ice. Not the small nuggets of ice that they gave patients, but several partly-melted bags of the sort one used to fill coolers for parties. “What,” Geralt said again.

“It’s an ice sculpture!” Jaskier said brightly, then made a face. “Well, it will be. I was talking to Dara last night on rounds and he said his mom always throws a party to kick off the holiday season and makes an ice sculpture as a centerpiece -- apparently she’s very good at them -- and I thought it would be a fun surprise for the playroom today!” He beamed, and Geralt was not paying attention to the way it lit up his whole face.

Geralt looked at the ice filling the sink, and then at the clock. If Jaskier had been on rounds last night, then he’d either come in absurdly early, or had spent the entire night working on this “sculpture” nonsense. Geralt looked at the coffee pot. It had perhaps half a mug’s worth of coffee left in the pot, and from halfway across the room already smelled scorched from sitting too long on the hot plate.

Any number of questions rose to mind, but Geralt pushed them aside. If he expressed any further interest, Jaskier would try to loop him into helping, and more than anything else, Geralt needed a nap.

“Mm,” he hummed noncommittally, and turned away. He barely navigated past the table and chairs without tripping over them, and fell face-first onto the ratty old couch.

~~~

The smell of coffee dragged Geralt to wakefulness. He pried one eye open to find a mug right in front of him. Just behind the mug was Jaskier, sporting a somewhat rueful smile.

“Sorry to do this to you,” Jaskier said, “but shift changeover is in five.”

Geralt pushed himself laboriously to sitting upright and scrubbed a hand over his face in a mostly-futile effort to wake up, then reached for the coffee. “Thanks,” he muttered, and took several deep swallows. It was too hot, but it was fresh, and Geralt didn’t care in the slightest that the immediate jolt of energy it gave him was psychosomatic.

“No problem,” Jaskier said with a smile that, if Geralt didn’t know better, might be called fond. Jaskier rubbed his hands together, then lifted them to his mouth to breathe on them. “Take a look at my sculpture before you head out! What do you think?”

The sculpture was sitting on a cart just to one side. It was... definitely made of ice.

It might have been a tall, craggy mountain. Or possibly a barbegazi. A leshy, maybe?

Geralt considered it for a moment longer, then took another gulp of his coffee.

“Yes, well,” Jaskier said, slightly defensively, “ice isn’t really my medium.”

Geralt hid his smile behind his mug.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Jaskier said, though the way he was wringing his hands again belied his blithe confidence.

Geralt frowned. Jaskier didn’t wring his hands when he was anxious. He fidgeted. He talked too much, too fast. He tapped out percussion rhythms or guitar fingerings against his leg. But he didn’t wring his hands.

Jaskier’s hands were red. Nearly the same red as the stupid capes of the stupid superheroes adorning his stupid scrubs.

Jaskier followed the line of Geralt’s sight, and sighed. “It was kind of a last-minute idea,” he said. “I didn’t think to pick up gloves. Anyway, I needed the heat from my hands to partially melt the ice so it would stick together! It’s all--”

The babble of excuses fell away as Geralt set his coffee aside and wrapped his own hands around Jaskier’s. “Don’t rub them, you idiot,” Geralt growled. “That’s basic first aid.” Jaskier’s hands felt almost as cold as ice themselves, and trembled slightly in Geralt’s grip.

“It’s hard not to,” Jaskier complained.

“You’re lucky you can even feel them.”

For several long seconds, they didn’t say anything else, but Jaskier was never one to be quiet for long.

“If I’d known this was what it would take to get you to hold my hand, I’d have taken up ice sculpture sooner.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and told himself that he was not charmed by Jaskier’s flirting. “Idiot.”

The way Jaskier grinned at him suggested that he’d said it far too fondly.

#countdown to 2025 #au: medical #the witcher #geraskier #my writing

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arqdyke · 2 months ago

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OH WOW you're still awake hiii!! one more then while i have the chance. also so honored to have an entire tag now. that has to be an accomplishment. and!!! 👀 what niche rarepair pls i will bite at anything 👀👀

i cannot remember what else i was going to say so i'll just follow that too. op is sooooo friendly to multiship and rare ships because all of the characters no matter how minor are so interesting. it's fun to fling two people together as a concept and figure out how they would interact. (even not romantically even!! just two dudes would they be mortal enemies would they be chill? would they be besties for life??)

case in point! i got into op already knowing of a law ship, and after i read dressrosa, that ship solidified in my mind. but!! i caught up to op during zou :) which, in my mind, was the height of sabo/law popularity. so my first ship for sabo was actually with law! crazy how things work out. so much time has passed that i don't hardly even think about them anymore.

ohhh wait i know what i wanted to say now. favorite aus for fic?? any you would love to see in acesabo fic? if i know of any, i'll grab one for you ;)

hi!! i am in fact awake!!! i wanted to write more for my exchange fic bc ive just started recovering from been sick the past few days and havent rlly had the chance. but i ended up putting it off until like 12am LOL. under the cut again i talk . a lot.

its fun you mentioned sabolaw because. the 'pair' in question for the au is actually ichiji/sabo/law. no i dont know why my brain latched onto this. yes im still kind of obsessed with it. the social media aspect of my shipfic is a lot about ichiji & the transition from being a child star (alongside his siblings) to a more casual internet ministardom. theres court drama bullshit. theres fangirl law. all three of them are transfem. its really special to me.

also YEAH EXACTLY!!! to your rarepair thoughts. in every fandom im in im a huge sucker for rarepairs that seem like complete nonsense. throw those characters whove never met into a room and LOCK IT! not always romantically yeah but honestly its a lot easier to like . find content of niche pairs through ship names than just trying to sift through a million posts in their maintags. tumblr wise, at least. i actually have a sideblog thats been since sort of abandoned dedicated to finding as much niche rarepair content for two characters (not always with each other, just those two in general).

a fun thought exercise ive done a few times also is getting a nice randomizer of characters im familiar with for a fandom and using it to pick out a few ships to figure out how theyd interact/if i could make a shipfic out of them. sometimes they click sometimes they dont but its a fun way to explore characters imo

whats ur fav lawship nowadays if you dont mind :3? i like a looot for him ill admit but im not particularly committed to any. as with the multishipper way. and thats fair (on the sabolaw bit)... first ships dont always last super long. they sure are fun to think back too tho ^_^

my favorite aus for fic... oh god thats a tough one. i already mentioned modern aus and this ones sort of a tangent off niche topic focus's BUT. fics that are set in a specific career (especially doctor aus & lawyer aus but genuinely i just rlly like looking at niche little details of someones career.) see also hobby focused aus! like uhh. gymnastics. ice skating. just stuff like that idk. and aus that are focused around like.. movie tropes/genres. crime noir detective aus, slasher horror aus.. especially fun when theres a spin on the original tropes but when you can see how much love someone has for the og concept is when it rlly shines.

none of those are super specific tho. um. i have a soft spot for superhero aus even when theyre really bad. fantasy aus are trickier but when they hit they hit rlly nice. (trying really hard to think ummm) thats about all i can think of rn? but it is pretty late so im for sure forgetting some.

NOW. as for acesabo specifically.. first off if you have any fic ud especially recommend id love to read them regardless of the tropes/ships/whatever. but. acesabo aus.. ohhhgh. i dont know!! ive read a lot of really cute modern aus with them. and im not USUALLY into soulmate aus flat out but i could really love a good acesabo soulmate au. it just suits them. theyre both characters i enjoy seeing as cute girls quite a bit. its kind of unfortunate im not really a fan of either of them as trans guys bc there is SO MUCH transmasc ace stuff out there. sorry my guy you have my name i cant live like that. all respects to people who do like that tho! i like them nonbinary multigendering it up . sometimes transfem sometimes just.. trans. sorry this is not the point.

aus... aus... shakes my head around. OH i would LOVE to see a roleswap with them. ive thought abt that before and its kinda beautiful. i do also love a good polyship with them both! what elseeee. oh i didnt mention it earlier when we were talking tropes but political drama bullshit is soooo fucking good. for acesabo also! but im pickier with them with it bc i feel like it tends to get too whumpy/focused on misery. which isnt rlly my thing personally. gotta be a careful balance. i like aus where theyre both in the same 'group'; being both revolutionaries or both pirates or whatever.

i hope this actually answers your question lol i realize i went on a bit... but yeah. have a nice night if youre headed offline urself ^_^! ill be on for a while longer likely but i take so long to write these asks it might be pointless

#jesus i talk a lot. SORRY! i apologize every time but will i ever stop? no.#asea tag #also yuup congrats on the tag! i like to give ppl a tag if i want to refind their asks/posts later OR i want to show them certain posts i r #dt-posts

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davidmann95 · 5 years ago

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Hey David? Why is ours such a cruel and merciless God?

mirrorfalls said: (If you don't know what I'm talking about, your inbox should be filling up with more specific deets riiiiight about now.)

cheerfullynihilistic said: THE SNYDER CUT

Anonymous said: You don’t seem to think Superman’s public rep will take another beating from the Snyder Cut coming out. Honestly I thought you’d be way more upset than you seemed on Twitter.

Anonymous said: So uhh, against all thoughts and logic the Snyder cut is being released? Maybe as a mini series? Thoughts?

Anonymous said: SNYDER CUT!

Bullies. Jocks. Guys angrily asking if we know who their father is. Assorted dudebro nerd-oppressors of America:

You have failed us. You have failed us so hard. What else do we even keep you around for if not to head this shit off at the pass? Shame on you.

Okay, so seriously: I’m actually gonna put most bitching and moaning under a cut, because I know firsthand there are as many as several non-slavering maniacs out there who dug Man of Steel and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice and who are simply and entirely reasonably excited that they’re getting this movie after all. I don’t feel like throwing a wall of text at them shitting all over this, so I’ll lead off with I think some fairly even-handed commentary on the real-world circumstances here, rambling speculation regarding the production, and some cautious optimism about the actual movie/s. THEN I’ll get to what I imagine most of you are here to see.

So totally in a vacuum: this is a cool, good thing. I’m the notorious theatrical Justice League-liker, but at best it was a compromised product due to the original creator - who like it or not clearly had an incredibly ambitious personal vision for these characters and their world - suffering a horrific tragedy forcing him off the project, and leaving his final stamp on blockbuster culture and a world he’d devoted years of his life to a flop with his name on it when he couldn’t even truly call it his own anymore. At worst, said tragedy was taken advantage of by suits to ditch him in the home stretch so as to try and shove out something ostensibly more marketable. But now because of a...very loyal fanbase, the man’s getting the opportunity and resources to rise like a phoenix and see at least some of his vision through in a huge way. That’s pretty remarkable.

Not in a vacuum this is fucking horrifying. I’ve already seen folks poo-poohing the reflexive fears that this will ‘set a precedent’, and they were right enough that I deleted my initial tweet on the subject because I didn’t think I could express my own opinion with any nuance in the space of 280 characters. Yeah, nerd whining definitely shaped Rise of Skywalker (another movie I enjoyed in spite of the circumstances of its creation). Hell, Sonic the Hedgehog crunched its CGI team prior to unceremoniously firing them to redesign his model thanks to outcry. That’s already a market force, and just to be clear upfront, if we can’t agree the predominant mode of operation for #ReleaseTheSnyderCut has been a toxic nerd harassment campaign when they spammed posts memorializing deceased actors and chased Diane Nelson off Twitter, we’re not gonna be able to have this conversation. And director’s cuts are you may have noticed also already a thing. But this isn’t changing direction on a project that’s already going to exist no matter what, this is turning back 3 years later on a commercial flop and dumping tens of millions of dollars into it, explicitly in response to that harassment campaign. It’s not *actually* going back and, say, remaking The Last Jedi, but by god to the naked eye it’s gonna be as good as for plenty of fanboys, and probably to some shortsighted execs as well. This is a new thing, and in this context it is a very, very bad one. Hopefully one that won’t amount to anything.

As for the movie itself: what the hell is this thing going to end up being? I assume with this sort of cashola being pumped into it we’re not getting any slapdash greenscreen or storyboarded sequences, but four hours? Is it really just going to be an expanded and revised version of what we saw in theaters, or is this including content that would have been in the originally planned Justice Leagues 2 and 3? My understanding is that those were already compressed into a single Justice League 2 before plans collapsed altogether, were they maybe filming side-by-side and this’ll be the whole shebang? If not is Snyder going to hedge his bets and end this on a clean note, or keep it ending on a cliffhanger in hopes HBO will throw another $250 million his way to keep going? Does DC want to keep going? Would they give into fan pressure on releasing after all what was widely publicized as the first film of a duology or trilogy with dangling threads if they weren’t going to be at least watching the numbers to see the feasibility of returning to this in a bigger way? Not that I think WB execs would piss into Snyder’s mouth if he were dying of thirst at this point if he simply asked to be able to do Justice League 2, but if he floated that if they instead just give him a liiiiiiiitle more money he can finally deliver unto them their very own Avengers - one that they can work on even during quarantine since it’s mostly just VFX work left - and hey if it works out he’s got a sequel or two cued up and ready to go? Maybe they look at their scattered plans and say the hell with it and end up giving this a theatrical release and sequel with Snyder holding the reigns again if this ends up a killer app; stranger things have happened, if not many, and somehow this is already happening in the first place after all. Alternatively, if this succeeds, could they go “thanks and good on ya, totally do another, but it’s gonna be an HBO exclusive so you’re only getting a hundred million, figure it out”? Would Ben Affleck return? How much reshooting will he be willing to commit to even for this? And most importantly, since this is potentially going to be serialized as six ‘episodes’, will We Got This Covered count this as another ‘win’ since their bullshit rumor mill algorithm spit out “Justice League HBO TV show” recently?

As for the project itself: I ain’t subscribing to HBOMax for this bad boy, but once it becomes more widely available I can’t claim I won’t probably watch it. It’s basically a new movie about the Justice League, and if there’s anything I WOULD wanna see Zack Snyder do in the DCU, it’s the movie finally moving past pseudo-realism (aside from some of those dopey costumes) and leaning all the way into godlike superbeings bludgeoning each other through continents. I absolutely wanna see his aesthetic take on the Green Lantern Corps, and New Genesis, and time travel, and all the other weird promises of where his movies were going to go climaxing in a ridiculous super-war across all spacetime. It’s the same reason J.G. Jones was an exciting choice for Final Crisis before he had to leave, seeing a guy known for his work in an ultra-real grungy superhero style starting there and building up to seeing his version of absolutely wild cosmic spectacle. And no, to respond to one of the initial asks, I’m not worried about the impact on Superman. Everyone seems to have accepted this is its own distinct thing whether they like it or not, I think him getting to complete his ‘arc’ will quiet down many of the folks who like to yell at every other version as retro nonsense since now they’ll be able to be smug about having had the best take rather than pining for a lost finale, and I’m not interested in further Superman movies at the moment anyway with Superman & Lois in the pipe (which I was originally paranoid would be endangered by this when rumors first started floating, but if it’s been brewing since November then if they wanted to strike that down to ‘make room’ according to their Byzantine ever-shifting rules, they would have by now). Far as I’m concerned, as long as the other DC movies get to keep doing what they’re doing during and past this - even Pattinson in his corner, however that works - then totally let Snyder work out all his Wagnerian superhero bullshit for another flick or two. If nothing else, maybe we’ll learn what the hell that diagram up there is supposed to mean. And a plea I want to clarify upfront is wholeheartedly sincere: we’re already down the rabbit hole, so let Snyder to literally whatever he wants with his non-theatrically released Justice League. Zero input or veto power from outside parties. If he wants Flash to hang dong or Superman to say fuck or Batman to learn he’s Steppenwolf’s secret dad or Cyborg to learn he needs to eat babies to fuel his machine parts, let him go for it. Whole point is this is now his thing for people who want his thing.

Okay, beneath the cut the filter comes off, so go ahead if that’s your jam.

Hahahahahahaha this is gonna be such a fuckin’ shitshow you guys, Jesus Christ.

They’re giving the dude who did BvS and wants to make an Ayn Rand adaptation someday $30 million to take another crack at this monstrosity! 30 goddamn million smackaroos for four fucking hours of by many accounts roughly the same basic movie, except now presumably with what little coherency, fun, and clean character work the theatrical cut managed to pull off excised in return for weighty staring, ponderous pseudo-philosophical musings, hackneyed symbolism, aimless mythology teasing, and Steppenwolf I understand being decapitated by Wonder Woman at the end rather than taken back to Apokolips. I didn’t even spoiler mark that shit because don’t you dare pretend you care about the fate of Steppenwolf. I won’t have it.

I used to wonder if I was indeed missing the forest for the trees with these movies, that I was so inflexible in my personal image of these characters - even though I appreciate plenty of alternate takes on them and even some stories that bend or break what I consider their ‘rules’, just not these - that I was incapable of grasping or appreciating these films on their own merits as works of art using those archetypes in wildly different ways; even I could see there were good moments and interesting ideas on display despite seemingly failing to come together. No matter how much I personally deconstructed how and why it wasn’t working, I couldn’t do it to my own satisfaction to the point of stamping out that niggling little worry with how many folks whose opinions I respect love ‘em. Until I finally remembered that the Cadmus arc of Justice League Unlimited is totally the same basic story as BvS, centrally driven by an even worse take on Superman, and that’s still one of the best superhero stories of all time. These just stink by any merits, and while I think Justice League absolutely has the potential to be the most *entertaining* of the bunch, it’s not going to magically become *good* in the eleventh hour. Not to lift up Joss Whedon of all people as some kind of savior, I’m on the record that my love for Justice League as-is is some kind of inexplicable alchemical accident, but I promise that there is not going to be one single addition to this movie that’s going to make up for the removal of “Just save one person”.

Also I’m already not looking forward to dudes tweeting “whoa, he’s splitting it up into a serialized narrative, reflective of the sequential nature of the characters’ primitive native pictorial medium! Or mayhap in ode to the pulp film adventure serials which inspired those in turn! Even the Justice League children’s cartoon for dumb babies, which was itself...made up of episodes! That’s three references in the structure of the thing alone! The man’s operating on an entirely different level!” “God, isn’t it amazing how much better he understands the source material than you”, they shall say, about a man who I understand just very confidently referred to Doomsday in his livestream as having destroyed Krypton in the comics. Again, don’t you say they won’t, just the other day I saw folks tweeting they just realized that since Jor-El wears armor over his bodysuit that technically means Superman’s whole costume is underwear which means Snyder’s totally honoring that without putting him in ugly dumb red panties so checkmate, dorks.

(Okay, in fairness, I know Snyder was saying that’s his take on what happened to the moon in the past of the movies and maybe I only misheard that he thought that also happened in the comics, and it’s trivial information anyway. Still sucks though, that seeming out-of-nowhere Jax-Ur shoutout was like the one thing I liked about that otherwise interminable Krypton sequence. And why is there a second Doomsday? You did Death of Superman already!)

And further SPOILER thoughts below on the reported plots of 2 and 3:

It’s also an amazing, perfect sort of narrative synchronicity that the hypocrisy of Man of Steel in presenting Superman as a savior would (will?) be matched by the movies also rejecting that promise long-term. In there, Jor-El’s musings on the capacity of every living thing being capable of good, the closest the film has to a singular moral statement, are proven wrong when Zod has to be put down like a mad dog, and rather than the one who’ll bring us into the sun, Kal-El’s presence draws ruin from beyond the stars to our world. And again in BvS with Doomsday. And again in Justice League 1-3, where in spite of claims by Snydercutters that it’s okay for Superman to be a really lousy take on Superman because it’s totally supposed to take several movies after putting on the costume and calling himself Superman, including his own death and resurrection, for him to really, like, become Superman, man, he remains a liability to the end. His death lures in Steppenwolf, the Kryponian matrix in his genes is Darkseid’s goal, he becomes the villain of the first act of Justice League 3 - possibly of his own free will depending on which version you’ve heard about - and at the final showdown, it’s Batman who sacrifices himself to stop Darkseid and save the world and inspire the rise of superheroism, because Batman, you see, rules, whereas Superman, stay with me here, drools. A letdown given BvS was just about the one major story of the last 30 years to unambiguously conclude Superman is better than Batman, but not a shocker. None of what I understand goes down in these - iconography from the likes of Fourth World, Crisis on Infinite Earths, Death and Return of Superman, Rock of Ages, Final Crisis, and Injustice reused but stripped of all context and thematic weight that gives it meaning (even Injustice is built on the premise of having a ‘good’ Superman to contrast the dictator); Lois being the ‘key’ because of her connections to two men, one she married and one she bears; time travel that even by the very generous suspension of disbelief applied to it in a genre like this operates by two obviously completely different sets of rules in its only two uses, and is then used to write the entire second movie of the trilogy out of continuity in the first act of the third, making one and a half of these movies pointless - is shocking. It’s just more empty notions and unfulfilled promises offered up to a fanbase staking everything on the idea that all the tampering, all the wild swings, all the meandering, it’s all building UP to something, not possibly just a dude who doesn’t understand these characters but wanting to look very clever with them before building up to one more rad punch-up. So yes, make these movies. Let what can be gleaned from them as worthwhile be revealed, leave the rest of it up for examination to be judged as it deserves and let it, finally. Finally. Be done.

#Justice League #Snyder Cut #Zack Snyder #DCEU #Worlds of DC #Superman #Man of Steel #Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice #Superman & Lois #DCTV #Analysis #Opinion

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katewaliss · 5 years ago

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1x1 plot list!

hello girls, gays and theys! my name is crissy, i’m 21, go by she/her pronouns and live in the PST timezone. i am celebrating bullshitting my way through my junior year with ( copious amounts of tequila but also ) make a list of 1x1 ideas / plot bunnies because i need something to do during this Borentine and what better way to spend it then making myself cry with ships!

i primarily send really long keysmash head cannons through discord and the ims, but i am also down to do replies ( on tumblr or discord ) and ask memes are my most favorite. i am introverted af but very excited abt ships so i really like having rp partners who like want to stay up all night and write and scream with me, so if that sounds like u, come thru!

if u like any of these please don’t hesitate to shoot me an im!

also my discord is daddy devito#2918 ( & yes, i do hate myself )

were starting with mermaids bc i love mermaids

ALSO YES I LIKE OPPOSITE PLOTS DONT @@@@@ ME!!!!!

ALSO ALL OF THESE PLOTS CAN BE GAY! BE GAY DO CRIMES!

i’ve always kind of wanted one based loosely on these pictures x, x, x. im thinking ponyo meets enchanted meets h20 little mermaid AF realness! like maybe hes this lil regular boy high school college student taking pictures and stuff and sees this girl wash up on the shore looking very confused. so he helps her and you know, shes a little hysterical and cant walk very well, takes her into his apartment puts a towel over here bc she like keeps talking abt how shes a mermaid and hes like oh my god shes crazy ahh. she keeps saying her dad is king of the ocean and hes like???? do u have a last name? and the police dont know anything abt her she has no file, no id, no finger print in the database?

basically the mermaid is staying w the college student in his apartment and he like teaches her what the microwave and the tv is and its very soft they fall in luv maybe drama he has a girl friend who sucks a lot who is angry abt mermaid girl idk maybe the government realizes and tries to steal her! fun THAT FIRST PIC? MAYBE HE SAVED HER WHEN HE WAS A KID ONCE FROM DROWNING!!! AHHH

alternatively i found these pictures were are in the same vein very aquamarine x, x, x, lifeguard off duty surfing and he gets stuck in a gnarly wave and almost drowns but this mermaid saves his life! and he comes to see her a lot on the beach and they hang out and fall in love he teaches her how to speak english shows her his phone!!! MAYBE THE GOVERNMENT IS ALSO POACHING HER WE LOVE DRAMA

ok last mermaid plot? BUT ITS A SIREN PLOT!!!!!!! these sirens/a siren wipes out this sailors entire ship with the sirens song they all get drowned/eaten .... but plot twist! this one sailor homie lives bc he is DEAF and therefore IMMUNE TO THE SIREN SONG!! so this siren keeps tryna sing at him and its not working and u know they fall in love good stuff MORE POACHES MORE PIRATES MORE GOVERNMENT TRYNA KILL THE AQUATIC AMERICAN BC I LOVE SUFFERING modern or maybe set back in the day???? spicy

anthour or a sculptor that writes a book w a main character or makes a statue and it comes to life and has no perception of human stuff and is like a big alien

also literally all of these plots can be made gay as the flyest bi i ENCOURAGE it!!!! i will play either character in any of them pls tell me which one u like if u like one

pls the clown clown valedictorian plot

ok speaking of giving the gays everything they want

damn i just want a cheesy wlw 1x1 plot where the first girl is a famous celebrity hella spoiled very purse dog paris hilton type and her fancy convertible sports car breaks down smack dab in a small ass hick nowheresville town and this flannel wearing mannerless tomboy mechanic comes to fix her car but rich girl is stuck in town a few days while they order the part she needs for her car bc it’s a small town they don’t have it and they get closer and the celebrity girl is humbled by the town and learns a lot abt the world and herself just ,, good times LISTEN!!!! zendaya and kristine froseth ???? SPICY

ok maybe a period piece lady knight / princess plot where she was personally assignment to the princess but maybe its a whole mulan thing where no one knows the night is a girl and is posing as a man bc women were allowed to be knights and the princess is betrothed to some loser prince once again ill play either

princess body guard plots always smack

ok princess protection program BUT GET THIS instead of that its my boy dmitri who is the heir to the russian throne or some made up european country but theres an assasination attempt so hes told he has to go into witness protection. and this dude or girls dad is head of cia/fbi and dmitri has to pose as a foreign exchange student at y/ns college and be shown around/baby sat by them. they hate eachother. probably bc dmitri is obnoxious and entitled and sleeps w everyone. he was a matthew daddario fc but not that necessary!

cheerleaders on opposite squads who got the sexual tension!!!!

plot based off hollywood the netflix limited series where its 1940s-1950s hollywood and maybe actors falling in love, an actor and a director? OR omg even better an actor falling in love with some sort of stage crew, lighting, camera person............SPICY!

a beauty / makeup youtube influencer and a pranking rant gaming sort of youtuber and they have to collab and hate it points if its gay

that cliche plot where ur friends older brother is hot

ok kstew / naomi scott .....that is such.....a wave

UGLY BETTY PLOT BITCH!!!!!! REVERSE THE ROLES OR MAKE IT GAY

i saw this gifset of margo robbie and michael b jordan talking abt how they are eachothers celebrity crush and it got my brain turning

a very whimsical hopeless romantic artist who finds a muse in a no nonsense american college student studying law studying abroad

PERCY JACKSON BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HUNGER GAMES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

business man/prodigal son who falls in love with a stripper/escort

harry potter......next gen................please.............scorose............but like can i play ravenclaw soft boy nothing like draco scorpio BUT ALSO ALL THE HP i also really like ocs also BEAUXBATONS DRUMSTRANG ( if anyone wants to help me w a not hogwarts but other wizarding school rp let me know )

not to b cliche but uh....pastors son bad boy plot yes!

alternatively bad girl good boy/girl plot yes! ( can i pls play bad girl seulgi its Dire )

horror until dawn stuff

soul eater? death note? OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB BITCH!!!! ANIME!

the epically cliche popular person failing math and is gonna get kicked off cheer gets tutored by biggest loser in school and only agrees to tutor her in math if she teaches them how to be cool to impress crush (popular persons friend) and they do that, they start to bond, she gives nerd a makeover the whole school falls in love with them and the popular girls real jealous and wHEw

a disgruntled detective whos wife cheated on him with his partner and he drinks everyday (also could b a lady) throws himself into work and this waitress at the diner he works at who is the opposite of him and very sunshiney

OKAY HANNIBAL but like the hannibal is a lady!

superhero x villian plot! spicy maybe theyre exes! or they went to the same super power school?

SPEAKING OF SUPERHEROS I WANT A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG PLOT RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE PLAY CHOU TZUYU AS MARINETTE!!!!!!!!!

also every disney plot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think this will get added to but for now this is the gist HIT ME THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!

#1x1 rp #1x1 #1x1 plot #plot bunny #discord rp

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annieandjakemovies · 4 years ago

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Gangster Squad

Great production design, props, and locations can only get you so far in a period piece, and even with a stellar group of talent in front of the camera, Ruben Fleischer's Gangster Squad is a empty and tonally inconsistent film that may be the most dumbed-down gangster movie ever made. The film loves its R-rating, showcasing ridiculous violence every chance it gets, but it's a shame that the only audience that would likely fall for the movie's gags - 15-year-old boys - are too young to legally see this in theaters.

Gangster Squad Director: Ruben Fleischer Starring: Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn, Emma Stone, Anthony Mackie

It's the late 1940s, and transplanted gangster Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) is slowly taking over Los Angeles. World War II may be over, but the war against organized crime in L.A. is just getting started, and the city's crusty police chief (Nick Nolte) essentially gives bruiser cop John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) carte blanche to get Cohen and his drug-running thugs out of town. Despite initial protestations from his wife, O'Mara rounds up a motley crew of cops who speak his language, including the slick-talking charmer Wooters (Ryan Gosling), technical guru Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi), gruff sharpshooter Kennard (Robert Patrick) and his sidekick Ramirez (Michael Pena), and the rough and tumble Washington (Anthony Mackie), to bring Cohen to justice using their very particular set of skills. It's a solid premise, and one that's been mined in dozens of gangster movies before this one. (Most recently, though, this territory has been covered in the video game L.A. Noire, which hits on all the story beats that appear in this film in a much more satisfying way. Since directly comparing a video game to a film isn't quite fair, I'll leave it at that.) Just because the topic has been covered before doesn't automatically mean this film couldn't stand among the classics in the genre, but from the opening moments, it became clear that Will Beall's infantile screenplay wasn't going to allow that to happen. This is Beall's first produced feature screenplay, and as a former LAPD cop, you'd think there would be a hint of intelligence under the surface of his swagger-filled, guns-blazing detective story. Sadly, that's not the case. The dialogue tries so hard to be smooth and cool, especially from Gosling's womanizer character ("Who's the tomato?" he asks in regard to his redheaded co-star Emma Stone), but even though the leads look dashing in their tailored suits and fedoras, they can't make this nonsense sound good. There is no subtlety here. Penn's evil gangster delivers insanely cheesy one-liners with all the personality of a brick wall, and savage violence flies in and out of the movie like a haphazard tornado lost in the multiplex, occasionally wandering into your theater every few minutes before abruptly leaving. (Don't you hate those?) "You know the drill," Penn says to his henchman, immediately before said henchman drills a man to death. It's that kind of surface level stuff that I would have absolutely loved when I was 15, and if I hadn't seen The Untouchables, L.A. Confidential, or any other respectable gangster noir film, my fifteen-year-old self might have proclaimed it one of my favorites of the year. (Although to be fair I must give props to the best line of the movie: "The whole town's underwater, and you're grabbing a bucket instead of a bathing suit.")

As with many stories set in this time period, the shadow of the war looms large over the male psyches here. But though the end of the war is directly addressed multiple times - the chief asks O'Mara to fight in "occupied territory" yet again, O'Mara's wife continually has to remind him that the war is over, and O'Mara even uses it as an inspirational point in a speech to his men - the movie never actually takes the time to dig in and explore what that means in the context of these different characters. All of them essentially act the same, busting into every situation ill-prepared and with guns at the ready, but when Gosling asks Brolin if he "wants to win or die trying," it isn't a meaningful character moment. It's just another thing that sort of sounds cool. There's no emotion behind the delivery or the response; despite the surface differences between characters (the smart guy, the sharpshooter, etc.), these men are all soldiers that are constantly pulling triggers even when they don't have guns in their hands.

Along with a lack of satisfying character development, grown men often behave like children here, refusing to learn from their mistakes even after they admit to making them. The gangster squad bursts into place after place, roughing up Cohen's thugs and getting into close calls without ever having a solid plan, and at one point I started hoping that one of them would die quickly just so it would give the rest of them their cliched newfound resolve to finish the case and avenge their fallen brother. There's a simplified wire tapping story shoehorned in, but after watching HBO's "The Wire," it makes these supposedly professional characters look like total morons. At times the movie is a live action cartoon (complete with a comical jailbreak straight out of a Looney Tunes episode), but then it becomes gravely serious, and then switches again to a sort of pop-infused fun, soaking up the glitz and glamour of the era. It never finds its footing, and as a result the whole film feels like it's treading water for the whole of its runtime.

Ruben Fleischer, who earned some geek cred with his work on Zombieland, makes some pretty baffling choices when it comes to the action sequences. A night car chase midway through the film was especially disappointing, with poorly established spacial relationships rendering it almost completely unintelligible. Speed ramping (ala Zack Snyder) is employed often, and whether it's Mickey Cohen's bulging vein swinging at a punching bag or a series of Christmas decorations systematically destroyed in a hotel shootout, there is nothing interesting about the effect on display here. Whatever novelty it once had has long worn off, and it's going to take some sort of monumental shift in usage to convince me that it should ever be used again by anyone.

As for the cast, Brolin is stoic and hard-jawed enough to pull off the one-dimensional lead character. Gosling is good (even with a strange affectation), but his schtick gets old by the halfway point. Emma Stone is fine as a piece of eye candy, but third act attempts to turn her into something more than that are laughable. Ribisi is the movie's moral center, a nice change of pace from weasels and weirdos he's been portraying over the past few years, and Mackie's talents are totally wasted here. (He randomly throws knives at people. That's about it.) Penn clearly put some effort into his portrayal of Cohen (complete with what appeared to be flesh-colored Play-Doh attached to his face, his visage channeling the villains of Warren Beatty's Dick Tracy), but again, he can only do so much with comically bad dialogue.

So I'll leave you with this awesome joke I just came up with: Gangster Squad? More like Gangster Squandering A Great Premise, am I right? But seriously folks...for a film with so much talent on the screen, it's a shame that this script was so abysmal. And with writer Will Beall having already taken a crack at the screenplay for Warner Bros. upcoming superhero teamup Justice League, something tells me that Marvel is going to continue its cinematic dominance for years to come. Until next time...

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love-takes-work · 7 years ago

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Steven Universe Graphic Novel Too Cool for School (2016) - Outline & Review

We finally have a full-length graphic novel for Steven Universe and it's just lovely! It was so much fun to go to school with Steven, and in this longer format, the authors were able to take their time with it and make it feel almost like it could be an episode of the show.

There are things they could have done better, but overall the enjoyment overshadows the disappointments. The characters we know and love were almost always right on with their characterization, and though the background characters new to the story here were pretty one-dimensional (and sometimes caricaturish), I could deal with it getting to see Steven in a new setting. Some of us had wondered about his school situation, since they never do explicitly state in the show that Steven's been educated at all, and this clears that up if it can be considered canon. The art is cute, with the characters' body language feeling appropriate despite the slight lean off the show model (the characters look sort of lumpier and sketchier), and as always the backgrounds are lovely to look at.

And while I don't quite think the comic will stand on its own for readers who don't watch the show, I think it's fantastic to have a volume like this for those of us who love little in-between snacks. This book contains two full-color stories: The main story is "Too Cool for School," and then there's a little side story at the end called "Yard Sale." I'll examine "Too Cool for School" first and outline what I liked, what I didn't like, and what I thought was notable. What I liked: 1. Steven is so dang melodramatic about no one wanting to entertain him in the beginning. He talks just like this in the show too, infusing everything with drama when he's overwhelmed. It's so Steven. 2. Connie brings Steven to school for show and tell and quickly makes a mess of explaining what Gems are. Her awkwardness was precious. I have personally tried to explain what Gems are to people who ask me about the show and it kinda sometimes goes a little bit like this. And he's so excited and eager to tell the other kids about being a half-Gem and enthusiastically admits he has no idea what exactly he is. He's just cute.

3. Steven starts obsessing over whether the Gems might have seen dinosaurs and it's really nice how the dialogue sounds like what real kids sometimes say. 4. When Connie and Steven get sent to the principal's office, you can just see the weight of Connie's parents' expectations pressing down on her shoulders as she wails about her permanent record. It's very true to her character.

5. Connie's resentment of Steven getting her in trouble evaporates relatively quickly when she sees him all wide-eyed about cafeteria lunch, and it's so perfect that she just can't stay mad at him. It reminds me a bit of their actual dynamic on the show during the episode "Fusion Cuisine." 6. When Connie set out to explain lunch cliques to Steven, I was expecting the sort of trite jocks/nerds/slackers dynamic, but they came up with some pretty unusual groups for the lunchroom. They have social media stars hanging out together, along with some board game enthusiasts, an anti-clique clique, and the Junior Safety Patrol. I figured they'd be portrayed as NERDS but Connie super respects them and isn't dismayed that Steven picks them to sit with (and of course he would; he'd love to be with people who appreciate protecting others!). I'm glad she wasn't like "no Steven they're unpopular," though she's even less popular so it works out. I like their design--I'm not sure what gender a couple of them are being portrayed as (which is nice ambiguity), though I'm sad they don't seem to have names.

7. I just love that Steven's chattering about school during his Gem mission. That's one thing I've always loved about the show: Steven is thrilled to talk about Gem stuff with everyday people, but he's also just as excited about mundane stuff that's new to him. 8. Pearl's comment about how Steven enjoys pummeling children his own age in dodgeball has the Pearl Tone exactly right. The way she humors him has a particular flavor and this nailed it.

9. The bickering between the Gems regarding whether Steven should go to school is just classic. Pearl is in her typical frame of mind--that only Gem education is important and he's already learning what's necessary--while Garnet is firmly on Team Trust Steven, insisting that if he wants to do it then it must be what he needs. And what Garnet says goes, so there. Perf. 10. The very mundane issue of getting a phone call through to contact the Gems when a snail monster started attacking the school was pretty entertaining. 11. I love when Pearl goes full Gem Dork on the principal when she's bragging about how cool her race is. It's accurate to TV Pearl--she loves telling everyone how great Gems are.

12. Steven wants to be called "marsh periwinkle" after a cute snail species. Connie objects but he seems adamant that he deserves this adorable name. YOU BET YOU DESERVE IT STEVEN. YOU ARE A MARSH PERIWINKLE FOR SURE. 13. I think it's cute that Connie feels so honored at being accepted onto the Junior Safety Patrol, and she's happy that some people like her and know her name, but then she finds attention at school overwhelming when everyone's treating her like a hero and happily reclaims her lunch nook in the library. Too many stories like hers have the introvert being saaaaad because she doesn't have friiieeends and then everything is solved when everyone suddenly loves her. But Connie ISN'T happy with that and never wanted it. Respect for introverts is rarely seen in plots like this and I loved seeing Connie withdrawing from the social attention and not being spun as a loser for doing so. What I didn't like: 1. The front cover depicts Steven looking out the classroom window at the Temple. Nothing I've seen in the show suggests a school with that view would be possible, considering where the Temple is. 2. Connie's catching the bus at a stop that is apparently close enough to Steven's house that he happened to run into her. Connie doesn't live in Beach City, so I don't know why she's catching the bus there. She claims her dad's car is busted and that's why she's riding the bus, but then she even continues to ride the bus the following year. Not sure this was actually thought out. 3. I don't like how nobody wanted to hang out with Steven at the beginning but they didn't seem to have a reason. Amethyst literally said she was too bored to do anything and Pearl appeared to be ever so busy with . . . calisthenics? At least Garnet disappeared into her room and she could have been doing something important, but she didn't say what. I wouldn't mind if they volunteered a reason they couldn't pay attention to him right then, but this almost felt mean, and weird. 4. The teacher and the principal talk really cartoonishly (not in a good way); they say stuffy adult things and sometimes speak in ways that sound like a kid wrote what they think grown-ups sound like; they're unreasonable and use unnecessarily complex words in very awkward ways ("None of you are from space! That is highly improbable.").

I also have a pet peeve about "adult who doesn't believe in fantastical story takes care to mock magic children who are telling the truth" tropes, especially if they immediately flip into starry-eyed awe when the proof arrives. The principal especially has some circular, repetitive, tortured-sounding scolding, particularly at the end (e.g., "With accidents of this magnitude disciplinary action is our only course of action"). The background kids are sometimes stuck in a sort of cruel hivemind too. Throwing erasers and paperballs at the new kid because he told a weird story about being a superhero seems exaggerated. 5. When Connie and Steven get called into the principal's office, Steven's dad is summoned but you never see the Maheswaran parents. Don't know why that is. I like that Greg points out that he didn't even know Steven was going to school, though. 6. I'm confused about why the second snail monster appeared. When they hunted down the first one, they found its Gem and bubbled it. Then the Gems said it was fine for Steven to take a snail shell from the site, only to find it turning up as a monster later. In other situations, mother monsters sometimes leave behind parasites after they've been defeated, but those parasites don't have Gems. This one did, so it must have been an identical second monster that the Gems didn't know was still there? I don't really understand how that happened. 7. The principal refers to Pearl as the "legal guardian" of Steven. Which she is not in any way. She's an alien from space with no legal standing of her own. 8. I think the principal deciding not to expel Connie because she got a good exam score is bizarre and nonsensical reasoning. It doesn't seem connected to the principal's reasoning about her endangering students by leading them to fight the snail. 9. Pearl protests the concept of "giving a ship a gender" when Steven's teacher talks about the mothership. She seems completely baffled by this, even though Gems don't have actual genders and THEY do this too. (They have called Gem monsters "mothers" if they spawn clones, and they called Rose Quartz Steven's mother even though she is technically not a woman.) I usually like when the Gems are confused about Earth stuff but this doesn't seem like it should confuse Pearl. 10. I fundamentally do not understand the ending of this story. Connie was almost expelled (and nonsensically saved through her exam score), and she was scolded and her friend kicked off the property. And yet when she returns to school in the fall (and has the same teacher), everyone is wearing glasses like hers to celebrate "Connie Day" and she's praised for "saving the school" (even though the building literally fell down) and Steven is also honored by the principal even as his expulsion is upheld. It just felt like a very strange and nonsensical way to end the story. Notable: 1. The Gems are wearing their latest outfits in this comic! Amethyst has her black stars on her knees. BUT! In the frame when they warp away from fighting the snail monster, Garnet's colors have reverted to her first outfit. Just that one frame. Weird. 2. Pearl is oddly not drawn with blue eyes in "Too Cool for School." Her eyes are actually pretty important to her aesthetic, so it was weird to see her with black filled-in eyes in the first story. She has her blue eyes again in the short! (And in the first story, Sour Cream's blue eyes are filled in blue, so I'm not sure why Pearl's aren't.) 3. In a summer shot of the Cool Kids, Sour Cream is wearing his Pants Become Shorts in shorts mode. Nice callback. And Sadie's maybe flirting with a boy in the Big Donut, and Lars looks jealous! 4. There were unfortunately tons of language errors, punctuation glitches, and misspellings--which is a shame because this is a professional publication but it made me feel a little like I was reading a fan creation online. My list: * Connie asks Steven why he's up so early with no question mark. * The teacher says she'll send Steven to the "principals office," no apostrophe. * Connie misspells her own last name in her talk bubble while discussing her future. * Greg asks about signing something and doesn't get a question mark. * Steven's handwritten sign misspells mustard as "mustart" and leaves a word out of "the fizz some lemon lime soda," which is odd for a kid who aced the final exam at the end. * The coach asks the students to "gather round" with no ending punctuation in his talk bubble. * Pearl refers to "chilren" in one talk bubble instead of "children." * Steven asks about show and tell with a period instead of a question mark. * The principal uses the word "unfortunetly." * The principal utters this inexcusable sentence: "There are an order to things Miss Maheswaran that we must obey." * The principal misspells "receive" as "recieve" in one talk bubble. * And she uses the word "undoutably," spelled like that. * Pearl's dialogue has "?!" at the end of a comment that wasn't in any way a question. * Pearl uses the word "spacefairing." The word is actually "spacefaring." * Pearl talks about Gems having "trancended" rigid structures instead of "transcended." * And she uses the wrong its while talking about Steven's space family. * The principal leaves an article out of this sentence: "Steven is never ever ever come to this school again." * Connie manages to spell the Latin name of littoraria irrorata correctly, but then her talk bubble uses the word "reffered" instead of "referred." * Connie asks a question about what makes Steven think he deserves a cute nickname but she leaves off the question mark.

And then there was the second story (which I may like even more than the main story!): the short "Yard Sale," in which Vidalia has a yard sale and Steven buys something special for each of the Gems, but then he lacks money for an old game system he wants to try. After some failed attempts to barter with Vidalia, they promise her babysitting for Onion, and Steven feels this is terrible because nothing is worth that. Stuff I loved: Amethyst has no idea why anyone would want to sell their stuff because she is a huge hoarder and I love her wanting to buy a purple guitar because it has two "thingies." I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH GARNET WANTING THE MOM SQUAD SWEATER. IT IS THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD.

The mention of Vidalia knowing Amethyst well enough to know she does NOT want anything in that room was hilarious. And we have Pearl offering car repair and Garnet offering to break the car first. Garnet is just an incredibly special kind of funny and I just love it.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

#steven universe #steven universe comics #myblog

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german-killua · 7 years ago

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Legends of Tomorrow S03 EP1

Oh Boy.

Ohhh boy.

When the shows took a break, so did I. And life was good. Now arrow that was stomping on my balls, a new job, money pouring in…Aside from the Looming Threat of nuclear annihilation, life was good.

Till I made a mistake today. I decided to see how Legends of Tomorrow was doing, loading up the first episode and ready to watch the Season 3 Premiere of one of my favorite shows of the last year.

To say I was disappointed would be an Understatement. A tremendous one in fact.

I am not shy to say that this Premiere was probably one of the worst, if not THE worst episode I have seen of Legends so far. And keep in mind: We had some really bad ones.

When we last left our Team, time was kinda…shakey? Well, I don’t really know how to describe a Los Angels in the year 2017 that was loaded with time-displaced people, buildings, objects and well...Dinosaurs. And I gotta say, that was a fitting cliffhanger for the show. After all, Legends never shied away from being a bit more whacky, a bit more on the fun side than other shows.

What I saw in the first 5 minutes of the premiere of season 3 however, put me on a downward spiral of horrible writing. And that spiral did not stop for the next 35 minutes.

First of all? Rip Hunter is an absolute Asshole now. Apparently, he spends 5 years creating the “Time Bureau” an organization tasked with apprehending and fixing so-called “anachronisms” which is basically a fancy word for time anomalies. How these anomalies are caused are anyone’s guess since the Show does not deliver an explanation beyond: “Interacting with your past self’s screwed shit up” How that leads to Dinosaurs and Julius Cesar roaming through the year 2017 is anyone’s guess though.

For some Reason Rip Hunter has decided that the legends are no longer needed.Which is kinda weird because I can see a lot of uses for Superheroes in an Organisation that..you know..PROTECTS TIME ITSELF!

What comes next is almost unbearable and marks the most idiotic thing I have seen on Television since Felicity Smoak hacked a VHS Tape. (And I am still not over that.)

We see what the Legends are doing after..well being kicked out.

And the suffering begins with Sara Lance Sara works a mind-numbing job at a Bed Bath & Beyond knockoff. Now I did not watch arrow for almost 2 seasons, but I am under the impression that Sara Lance can get a better job than that.

Something that becomes even more baffling since she apparently uses her real name, a fact that is mentioned by her boss who flat-out states that she came back from the dead two times by now. And that she is lucky to be employed here.

Now maybe its just me but I thought that somebody who literally worked for the League of Assassins would have some false identities to, You know…

ASSASSINATE PEOPLE.

And while the show tries to tell us that Sara is just too cool for this job by letting her throw a Knife through the store, it does not make me laugh but rather makes me question this whole set up.

A Person like her should have no problem finding any job under any identity. She was trained to blend into virtually any crowd. And even if that does not work?

Let her works as an Instructor in a GYM! She is an Athlete, a fighter by Nature! Putting her in this ed Bath & Beyond knockoff l, makes no sense because it's completely out of Character for her to be here. Especially as Sara Lance.

Seriously?! Why her real name?

Even worse, however, is Ray Palmer..who basically works for Tindr.

Well, not Tindr. An App that is a rip-off of Tindr. Something they even mention because..funny?

What screws me up even more, however, is that Ray Palmer is literally telling his Boss that he can shrink organic and inorganic matter..To which is Boss responds that “if it's not on a phone, it's not the future”.

So in Hindsight: A guy who was hailed as one of the most brilliant minds on the planet invented a revolutionary device that will forever change the world…And a Company in Silicon Valley just looks at it and goes: “Yeah but it’s not on a phone dude.”

There is making a dumb joke.

And then there is insulting my god damn Intelligence.

And the rest of the legends? Our Beloved Sgt.Steel has become a superhero, yet he picked Star City for his heroic exploits. Kinda weird considering that the city is virtually crawling with speedsters, but hey who am I to complain?

Jefferson went back to School and Dr. Stein went back to his family.

Which leaves me with Rory and Amaya. The latter has left the team off-screen, broke up with Nate off-screen and returned to her timeline, you guessed it, off-screen.

The former remains my saving Grace in this episode and starts off right here. What is Rory doing?

Drinking and chilling on Aruba.

That’s it.

A single Scene and I am already back on the Heatwave train.

Well until he encounters a new Anomaly: Julius Ceaser, literally riding in on his Horse.

Apparently, the Time bureau did not notice of the most important figures of History just leaving his own timeline behind, so the Legends try to warn them.

By entering the obvious, completely open Office Building. Secret Organisation my ass.

And of course..they are met with hostility and literally have guns pointed at their heads. Yeah. I was just as surprised. Way to treat the literal foundation for this whole organization, the people who saved time not once but twice by now.And that was assembled by Rip Hunter himself.

At which point I also have to note that the defeat of Eobard Thawne who literally reshaped Reality to his bidding is treated like a Mistake.In fact, the Bureau flat out calls it a bad job. Because I guess saving the world is not only not a big deal anymore but actively idiotic.

Way to go guys…Way to go…

What happens next is the Time Bureau being idiots.The Legends being Idiots.And well..everybody being idiots.

The Bureau flat out captures a Ceaser Cosplayer and thus believes the legends are lying, who have indisputable proof…but prefer to not show it and just steal the Waverider.

Why? How?

I don’t know.

After that, we see the teams new approach: Being like a scalpel instead of a Chainsaw.

And after proclaiming that its, of course, Sara who beats the everlasting shit out of Julius Ceaser in the middle of a group of Spring Break students.

Precision at its finest Miss Lance.

But Sara seems to have tremendous problems with heir own decisions anyway. After all, it's her who decides to bring Ceaser to the Bureau…after literally having decided against just that not 10 minutes earlier, leading to the legends stealing the Ship in the first place.

But of course, she changes her opinion again. 2 Minutes later.

And everything goes well. Except the fact that Julius Ceaser is able to steal a Book called “The Rise of the Roman Empire” from Nate.

Who literally holds it in his hands and does not notice until back in the Waverider.

Ceaser stole a book from somebody who literally held it in his hands...

Words fail me,

Of course, Time is fucked sideways now so it's up to the Bureau to fix it.

Letting them walk right into a trap set by Julius and his legion.

How a mindwiped Ceaser knew that a time-traveling Bureau was coming is anyone’s guess hough-.It should also be noted that ancient Romans speak fluent English, something the show tries to explain with some sort of time anomaly effect..Bust just as conveniently forgets about later to make a stupid latin joke.

To make a long and very stupid story short: The Legends jump back into action, kill some soldiers and get the book back which somehow fixes everything. How? Why? Who cares at this point?

All questions I can not answer.

Just like the question why Rip Hunter lets the Legends go back into action after literally berating them in every single scene he is in. Hell, they flat out tell them that they will continue with or without his blessing, a claim I have to question since he could just mindwipe them and send them back to their boring, stupid lives.

But then again: Logic went out of the window in the first 5 minutes.

All in all, this was just horrible and I seriously question who came up with this nonsense. The new Status Quo makes no sense since it goes completely against anything we have learned about Rip in the Last 2 Years.

Sara especially comes off as stupid and unlikeable and every attempt to be funny is just nauseating and forced.

I hope that Legends can go back to old forms real quick..because if this episode is any indication of what to come?

Oh, my…

Edit:

If you’re looking for logic Legends is not the show for you it’s literally supposed to be bizarre and illogical. Thats what I think makes it great

Guys, I appreciate your answers...But “illogical” is not the same as “unrealistic”.

Unrealistic is saying “A Man comes from the Planet Krypton and can fly”

Illogical is saying that i can fly because its monday.

Illogical is saying that Superman has heat vision because Batman took a bath.

Its illogical for Sara to work under her real identity because she literally has no reason to do that.

Its illogical that a tech company does not see the value IN A DEVICE THAT CAN SHRINK ANYTHING.

Tremendous difference.

#legends of tomorrow #sara lance #rip hunter

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brites · 8 years ago

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The RFA thinks Jumin is some kind of invincible superhero until he goes on his first roller coaster ride with Zen. It ends with him being incredibly nauseous and dizzy, and Zen has to coax him from the ride while Jumin fights a losing battle with his pride and his stomach.

#nausea #vomiting #sick #puking #motion sickness #jumin han

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made-from-galaxies · 5 years ago

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Here’s Why Black Widow Didn’t Get a Memorial at the End of ‘Avengers: Endgame’

(Major spoilers ahead for “Avengers: Endgame” and the whole situation with Black Widow aka Natasha Romanoff, but you probably already knew that given the headline)

The scenes in “Avengers: Endgame” that take place after the film’s climax are all about Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), first with the big funeral for Iron Man after he died to defeat Thanos and his army, and then with Captain America’s big retirement scene to close the whole thing out. They were the two main characters of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so fine, whatever. But it still irks me that Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) got only the barest of mentions after she sacrificed herself in the second act.

If she hadn’t killed herself on Vormir so that Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) could return to the present with the Soul Stone, then they wouldn’t have been able to save all those people Thanos snapped, and then Tony Stark’s snap to wipe out all of Thanos’s forces wouldn’t have been possible. Her sacrifice mattered just as much as Tony’s did.

Also Read: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ – That Last Scene Makes No Sense

But when we get to the end of the movie, we get a big memorial for Iron Man with a huge number of famous heroes showing up to pay their respects, while Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) hang out in the corner having their own private mourning ceremony for Natasha and Vision, who apparently nobody other than them — and Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), I guess — cared about.

It would have been a great moment to elevate a character who always operated from the shadows, never getting the acclaim that Tony always received. The one time Black Widow stepped into the spotlight was at the end of “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” when a US Senate committee threatened to put her on trial. The people of the MCU finally had a chance to give Natasha the respect she was due, and they just didn’t.

On the commentary track on the home video release of “Avengers: Endgame,” co-director Joe Russo addressed this concern, and blamed next year’s “Black Widow” movie for the lack of a memorial for Natasha.

Also Read: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ – Who Is That Random Kid At the End of the Movie?

“People have asked why Natasha didn’t get the same amount of screen time post-death as Tony did,” Joe Russo said. “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.”

So there’s your answer — Natasha Romanoff didn’t get a big memorial in “Endgame” because of the prequel movie coming out next May, whereas Tony Stark is not gonna be in the MCU again for the foreseeable future. Though they didn’t mention Vision specifically, there’s probably a similar reason for the lack of love for him after he died in “Infinity War,” since he’ll be back somehow in the “WandaVision” Disney+ show in 2021.

There is an interesting sentence in that answer, though, that caused a big exclamation point to pop up over my head, though: “And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore.” Since the MCU has done multiple prequel movies that didn’t involve time travel, including the first “Captain America” movie that was the fourth film overall in this franchise, it seems incorrect to say that the MCU ever “had to” move forward linearly.

Also Read: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ – What Happened With Loki and the Tesseract?

To me, this implies that the “Black Widow” movie will be more than just another prequel like “Captain America: The First Avenger” or “Captain Marvel,” which took us to the past to set up heroes that would have an impact on the present. To me, the implication is something I have long suspected about “Black Widow”: that it will involve characters from the MCU’s post-“Endgame” present somehow.

But Marvel still has yet to confirm anything along those lines about that film. When they presented footage from the film at Comic-Con a couple weeks ago there was no indication that it would be anything other than a straight prequel — one that likely will set up a new player for future movies, like probably Florence Pugh’s Yelena.

We’ve got a while to wait before we find anything out about what the “Black Widow” movie really has in store for us. It’s nine months until the movie comes out, and it’ll probably be December at the earliest before we get a proper trailer. So sit tight.

All 58 Marvel Movies Ranked, Including ‘Spider-Man: Far From Home’

It’s hard to believe — and sad, too, if you like these movies — that “Spider-Man: Far From Home” is the last Marvel movie of the year. There’s no more on the calendar until Fox’s “The New Mutants” early next year, and given how many times that one has been delayed it may not be safe to assume it actually will be the next Marvel movie.

Anyway, the point is just we’re about to get into an extended hiatus. No more MCU movies, no non-MCU Marvel movies the rest of 2019. We’re getting a bit of a break from comic book movies, with only DC’s “Joker” origin movie left.

58. “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”

Just a nightmare. A total nightmare. There have been a number of bad superhero movies, but from the talking gas cloud the filmmakers cast as Galactus to Jessica Alba‘s dye job, this one transcends bad.

57. “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”

A totally chaotic stir fry of nonsense that tells the story of how Wolverine got his claws. Features an early version of Deadpool (also played by Ryan Reynolds) whose mouth is stapled shut, which should tell you all you need to know about it.

56. “Elektra”

That five minutes when they tried to turn Jennifer Garner into an action star went about as well as it should have.

55. “X-Men: The Last Stand”

Just a total mess, incoherent from the word “go.” After losing director of the first two X-Men films Brian Singer to the first Superman reboot attempt, replacement Matthew Vaughn gave way to eventual director Brett Ratner, who might have killed off the superhero genre entirely were “Spider-Man” not blowing up the box office.

54. “Fantastic Four” (2015)

There could maybe have been a good movie in here somewhere — the cast (Michael B Jordan, Miles Teller, Kate Mara) certainly warranted one. But this Frankenstein of a film is a behind-the-scenes horror story, and you can see it in the totally disjointed final product.

53. “Daredevil”

This was basically “Early-2000s: The Movie,” with Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell and Michael Clark Duncan as the main players. The cherry on top of this turd sundae was that damn Evanescence song.

52. “Fantastic Four” (2005)

Tim Story‘s first “Fantastic Four” is just sort of there, challenging you to remember it exists. With Chris Evans, who played the Human Torch here, going on to embody Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, that gets tougher every year.

51. “The Punisher” (2004)

This is the Punisher as a straight revenge thriller, and it’s not bad. Thomas Jane performs admirably, but the whole thing is missing that extra something that would have elevated it beyond standard genre fare. Setting it in Tampa didn’t help.

50. “Spider-Man 3”

Maybe the bad outweighs the good here, but Emo Peter Parker’s dance number remains one of the greatest single moments in any comic book movie, sorry, haters.

49. “Howard the Duck”

A notorious flop at the box office and, yeah, it’s not exactly “good.” But now, 30 years removed from its premiere, “Howard the Duck” is pretty fun as a relic of the ’80s.

48. “The Punisher” (1989)

Dolph Lundgren and Louis Gossett Jr. star in a low-rent ’80s grunge C-level classic. This one’s all novelty value.

47. “Ghost Rider”

For a movie starring Nic Cage about a dude who rides a Harley and turns into a flaming skeleton, this is a surprisingly mundane movie.

46. “The Amazing Spider-Man”

We may never figure out what went wrong with Marc Webb‘s Spider-Man duology, but his choice of Andrew Garfield to play Peter Parker is still brilliant. It just sucks that this movie doesn’t really make any sense.

45. “X-Men”

The beginning of the current wave of theatrical superhero movies, “X-Men” was kind of a cheapie and it showed. Novel at the time, now it just comes off as unremarkable mid-budget action fare as Fox was merely sticking its toe in the superhero waters. Timid.

44. “The Incredible Hulk”

It’s sometimes hard to remember that this one counts as part of the MCU, since it placed Ed Norton in the Dr. Banner role since inhabited by Mark Ruffalo in the “Avengers” films. It’s also hard to remember because it’s generally not memorable.

43. “Thor”

The fantasy Marvel movie is directed by Kenneth Branagh, who covers the whole movie in canted angle shots and theatrical stylings. It’s pretty boring, also, but at least it looks cool.

42. “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”

More of the same impossible-to-follow hack-n’-slash plotting from the previous movie, offset by Andrew Garfield continuing to be awesome and Jamie Foxx going way over the top as the big bad.

41. “Thor: The Dark World”

“The Dark World,” in contrast to the first “Thor” movie, is certainly not boring. If anything, it suffers the opposite problem, going so hard and fast that it loses substance.

40. “Blade: Trinity”

Starring a pre-Deadpool Ryan Reynolds basically playing a vampire-slaying Deadpool, throwing out one-liners like his mama’s life depended on it, this may not a “good” movie, but it sure is fun.

39. “X2: X-Men United”

A big step up from the first “X-Men” both in production values and quality, it still lacks much in the way of energy. Which is inexcusable when you’ve got Alan Cumming as the teleporting mutant Nightcrawler all over your movie.

38. “Spider-Man”

Sam Raimi truly assembled the prototypical superhero movie with this first entry in the “Spider-Man” franchise, in 2002. Like “X-Men” before it, “Spider-Man” is a bit underwhelming today, but unlike “X-Men” it was proud of its nerd roots.

37. “X-Men: Apocalypse”

Could have been a bizarre ironic summer classic if it were structured like a real movie and had any character development whatsoever. Instead it’s just a shot of visual adrenaline that I’ll probably want to revisit at some point — but not when I’m sober

36. “Avengers: Age of Ultron”

“Ultron” is frustrating for what it lacks — chiefly the feeling that it’s advancing the overall story arc of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But as with the first “Avengers” movie its weaknesses are overcome by great character work.

35. “The Avengers”

The story is a total mess, relying heavily on moviegoers’ memories of previous MCU films (if you didn’t remember or know coming in what the Tesseract was, hoo boy). But the novelty of the Marvel’s first big superhero team-up was irresistible, and director Joss Whedon balanced his ensemble expertly, giving everyone plenty to do so none of them ever fades into the background.

34. “Blade”

Pure B-movie trash, which is fine because that’s precisely what it aims for: bloody, crass, awesome. Blade, by the way, remains the only black comic book character besides Shaquille O’Neal‘s “Steel” to get his/her own movie, though Marvel’s “Black Panther” is slated for a 2018 release.

33. “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”

For the sequel, they tapped the “Crank” director duo known as Neveldine/Taylor. It was an inspired choice, because “Spirit of Vengeance” was exactly as nutty as you’d hope a PG-13 comic book movie would be. Shame that it was apparently stressful enough to break up the tandem of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.

32. “Captain America: The First Avenger”

A lot of folks like to complain that all superhero movies are the same. But this was actually a pretty good World War II movie, too.

31. “Guardians of the Galaxy”

Plot-wise, it never really adds up to anything, but the strength of the cast and the bizarre world they explore more than make up for it.

30. “Blade 2”

Beloved nerd Guillermo del Toro took over for this one and ramped everything up to 11. More vampires, more blood, more people getting sliced up — and of course baddies whose jaws can split open and swallow a person’s head whole.

29. “Big Hero 6”

Disney Animation Studios made a Marvel movie, and it’s really sweet. Sure, it’s the kiddie version of Marvel, but that doesn’t prevent it from being a wholly satisfying experience.

28. “Captain Marvel”

It’s fine, but “Captain Marvel” feels like a movie from before Marvel Studios really hit its stride in Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Right now it’s a movie that seems very much out of place.

27. “Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2”

An improvement on the first film, and an absolute delight from moment to moment — but it never quite coalesces into a coherent whole because so many subplots distract from the core story and rob it of its emotional impact. Would be a top 5 comic book movie if it had just reigned in the plot.

26. “Iron Man”

It was Robert Downey Jr.‘s reemergence on the big screen, and he’s flawless in this origin story that takes Tony Stark from billionaire playboy weapons manufacturer to billionaire playboy other-things manufacturer.

25. “Avengers: Endgame”

This movie is, frustratingly, far from perfect. In fact, it’s kind of a huge mess. But it’s also awesome and thrilling and hilarious and contains some individual moments that are perfect. I wish it was better, but with everything required of a movie that exists to wrap up 21 movies’ worth of story arcs, I’m glad it’s as good as it is.

24. “Hulk”

In 2003 the modern wave of superhero movies was still in its infancy, and Ang Lee — still the best filmmaker to do a comic book movie — got experimental with “Hulk.” And what he made was an incredible melodrama with visual stylings meant to ape comic book panels. It didn’t sit well with audiences, but “Hulk” remains one of the most compelling and interesting Marvel movies to date.

23. “The Wolverine”

This was, like, just a legitimately enjoyable melodramatic action movie. Sure, it turns into a video game boss battle by the end, but for most of its running time it’s just an actual movie.

22. “Punisher: War Zone”

Whereas the previous “Punisher” movie was melodramatic and contemplative, this one is just murderous. And it’s awesome.

21. “Venom”

How can anybody resist the pull of Tom Hardy doing comedy? This movie knows exactly what it’s trying to be, and what it’s trying to be is dumb and fun and nothing else. And it is extremely fun.

20. “X-Men: Days of Future Past”

Its time travel logic is a bit iffy, but “Days of Future Past” is still tremendously entertaining because, while epic, it’s not overly serious. As “Back to the Future” taught us long ago, you can get away with a lot of logical leaps if you strike the right tone.

18. “Deadpool”

In the angsty and angry times we live in, “Deadpool” is perfect. Aggressively violent and flippantly meanspirited, it’s the exact emotional release we needed.

17. “X-Men: Dark Phoenix”

The main series “X-Men” movies have never achieved any sort of greatness, but at least “Dark Phoenix” ends the whole thing with one of the best efforts of the bunch. And that sequence on the train in the third act is easily the best action sequence of these movies.

16. “Spider-Man: Far From Home”

It’s frustrating that it doesn’t really deal with the immense fallout from “Avengers: Endgame,” but it’s still as visually creative as any movie in the MCU, and Jake Gyllenhaal’s Mysterio is an all-timer of a villain. Dude goes all the way out in this.

15. “X-Men: First Class”

The first “X-Men” movie that could be described as “fun.” It’s basically two movies crammed into one, story-wise, but director Matthew Vaughn‘s touch is so breezy and enjoyable that it totally works anyway, thanks in large part to a brilliant cast that includes Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence and James McAvoy.

14. “Spider-Man: Homecoming”

Not quite the best “Spider-Man” movie, but still an absolute delight, with a cast full of scene stealers. Michael Keaton as the Vulture makes for one of the best Marvel villains ever.

13. “Deadpool 2”

While you may get whiplash from the “Deadpool” sequel’s occasional very serious and emo scenes, the rest of the movie is thoroughly delightful, somehow managing to be even funnier — and more hilariously violent — than the original.

12. “Ant-Man”

“Ant-Man” represented a first for the MCU by being a straight-up comedy. And it’s a very good one, with a cast that’s perfectly suited for it. Aside from Paul Rudd who plays Ant-Man himself, Michael Pena is the true standout as Scott Lang’s best friend and former cellmate.

11. “Ant-Man and the Wasp”

It’s ever so slightly frustrating that this one doesn’t fully integrate into the “Infinity War” situation, but even so it’s thoroughly a delight. Evangeline Lilly is so good at the Wasp that I’m retroactively irritated that she didn’t don the suit in the previous “Ant-Man” movie.

10. “Doctor Strange”

If it weren’t hamstrung with all the requisite elements of an origin story, “Doctor Strange” might have been the best Marvel movie ever. That’s the power of the astonishing visual imagination on display here. People love to talk about the nebulous concept of capturing some long lost childlike sense of wonder though the magic of cinema — “Doctor Strange” is one of the only movies I’ve watched as an adult that really accomplishes that.

9. “Spider-Man 2”

This is a movie that fully understands its main character and taps into what made him such a captivating figure for so long. Yeah, Peter Parker’s a superhero, but he’s also a college kid working a minimum wage job to make rent while also taking university physics classes. Peter buckles under the pressure, something we can all relate to.

8. “Iron Man 3”

As far as I’m concerned this is the “Iron Man” movie. Somehow, Shane Black was able to infiltrate the MCU and make a legitimate Shane Black movie with all the wit and raw humanity you’d expect from him. It carries exactly the sort of authorial identity we should want all these movies to have.

7. “Thor: Ragnarok”

A thorough delight. This might be the most fun we had at the movies in all of 2017, and so we can’t help but love it.

6. “Captain America: Civil War”

Multiply the two previous best Marvel movies by one another and you get “Civil War.” It packs the sort of emotional payoff all the disconnected Marvel movies can’t really provide. And as an action film it’s easily the best of the superhero genre.

5. “Avengers: Infinity War”

You could certainly make the argument that “Infinity War” does not really hold up on as a complete movie on its own, because it kinda begins with the second act. But I don’t care. The culmination of this ten-year shared universe experiment should stand on the shoulders of the movies that came before it. The fact that it packs such a profound emotional punch, however, is what really makes it work.

4. “Black Panther”

It’s held back a little by being saddled with standard “origin movie” issues — introducing audiences to the world of Wakanda isn’t a quick and easy task, and it could use an extra 15-20 minutes to flesh out the supporting characters — but still manages to be the most substantial superhero movie ever. It’s kind of amazing that Disney let writer/director Ryan Coogler make this overt a political statement — it’s the most openly political mega-budget movie I’ve ever seen . Also, while I’m listing superlatives: Michael B Jordan delivers the best performance ever in a superhero movie. Good lord.

3. “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”

The best superhero movies, and movies in general, are the ones that are truly most human. And “Spider-Verse,” despite being animated, despite the wacky cast of Spider-People, despite the outlandish premise, is as real as movies get.

2. “Logan”

James Mangold’s small-scale western is a game changer for the entire superhero genre, daring to defy pretty much standard by which you expect these movies to operate. It’s just a great movie by any normal standard. Where “Civil War” elevated the genre, “Logan” opts instead to be something else entirely and we’re all the better for it.

1. “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”

The Russo brothers, who made their entrance to the MCU directing “Winter Soldier” before taking the reigns on “Civil War” and, eventually, 2018’s “Avengers: Infinity War,” really impressed with “Winter Soldier.” It’s a classic spy thriller with a superhero twist. And Robert Redford as the bad guy is a really nice touch.

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Decades of big screen Marvel adaptations demand a long, ranked list. This is that list

Source: https://opengeekhouse.com.br/2019/08/10/heres-why-black-widow-didnt-get-a-memorial-at-the-end-of-avengers-endgame/

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