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[supertechengineer]

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[iol247]

Flashback: Unabomber Publishes His ‘Manifesto’

Ted Kaczynski was a madman who killed and maimed innocent people – but did some of his worries for the future come true?

By 2017 standards, a bearded man ranting in his manifesto about how “one of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism” might, at best, have a chance ending up name-checked by Alex Jones. Most likely, he’d become the hero of a thousand faceless message board posters. His 35,000-word diatribe against technology titled “Industrial Society and Its Future” might be suitable for a personal blog, but a national newspaper? Surely not.

Of course, more than 20 years ago, when Ted Kaczynski mailed out what would come to be known as the “Unabomber Manifesto,” it was huge news. After over a decade spent living as a recluse without electricity or running water in a cabin in Montana – sending mail bombs to university academics and corporate airline executives – Kaczynski sent letters to the New York Times and the Washington Post demanding they publish his manifesto and agree to print an annual follow-up for three years. If they did, the bombings would cease. If not, the Unabomber hinted at more bombings to come. 

It had started in May of 1978, when a package exploded and injured a Northwestern University security officer. A year later, another bomb was sent to the same college, injuring a graduate student. Also in 1979, Kaczynski snuck a bomb into the cargo hold of an American Airlines flight. It went off mid-flight, causing an emergency landing and afflicting 12 passengers with smoke inhalation. In 1985, he switched things up, and sent a shrapnel-loaded bomb to a computer store in Sacramento, California, claiming the owner as his first victim. By the mid-1980s, the Unabomber had become a real-life American boogeyman. A killer who would strike without warning, and without much reason. Why was he doing what he did – and when would he do it again?

The publication of the manifesto would end up being his undoing. Members of Kaczynski’s family had a slight suspicion Ted could be the person behind the terror campaign. His brother David was one of the thousands of people who called the FBI tip-line after the manifesto was published and a million-dollar reward was offered for information leading to the capture of the Unabomber. After a long search, FBI agents arrested an unkempt Kaczynski in his Lincoln, Montana cabin on April 3rd, 1996. They found bomb making components, over 40,000 journal pages and the manifesto’s original typed manuscript.

There’s no defending the actions of a person who mails bombs with the intent to do serious harm. But Andrew Sodroski, executive producer of the new Discovery mini-series, Manhunt: Unabomber, thinks there is plenty to take away from Kaczynski’s words. As he said in a phone conference with reporters leading up to the show, “What the manifesto has to say about our relationship with technology and with society is more true right now than it was when Ted published it.”

Not many domestic terrorists convicted of murder get called prophetic by television producers – and there are scholars from different sides of the political spectrum who agree that the the Unabomber’s anti-technology stance was ahead of its time. “His work, despite his deeds,” wrote Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team, “deserves a place alongside Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley, and 1984, by George Orwell.” Ray Kurzweil, noted author, computer scientist and futurist, quoted a passage from the manifesto in his 1999 book, The Age of Spiritual Machines. Some believe he’s a murderous modern-day Henry David Thoreau, while others say he’s a genius and a prophet. So what, exactly did he get right?

Kaczynski opens his manifesto with, “The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.” The technology he goes on to rail against, keep in mind, was mid-1990s – before smartphones, before Twitter, before “Likes” on Facebook and algorithms helped pick out things for you to buy and experience. Although the word “dystopia” never shows up throughout the essay, Kaczynski believed (and you have to assume still does so from his prison cell) that the future wasn’t some Philip K. Dick or Handmaid’s Tale scenario; the dystopian future started happening a long time ago. Computer networks, the mass-communication media, the modern health care system, pesticides and chemicals, all products of the Industrial Revolution, are destroying the planet, he writes. As one portion of the manifesto is sub-titled, “The ‘Bad’ Parts of Technology Cannot be Separated From the ‘Good’ Parts.” 

In point number 49 the manifesto, Kaczynski writes, “In the modern world it is human society that dominates nature rather than the other way around, and modern society changes very rapidly owing to technological change.” One of the big problems, he believed while writing his manifesto, was the inevitable growth of artificial intelligence and how humanity will cope with it. “First let us postulate that the computer scientists succeed in developing intelligent machines that can do all things better than human beings can do them.” As one Wired article explained in 2015, “A manufacturing device from Universal Robots doesn’t just solder, paint, screw, glue, and grasp – it builds new parts for itself on the fly when they wear out or bust.” From checking you out at the grocery store to flipping burgers, robots are being designed to integrate into the labor force and cut costs.

He goes on to write in point number 172, “In that case presumably all work will be done by vast, highly organized systems of machines and no human effort will be necessary. Either of two cases might occur. The machines might be permitted to make all of their own decisions without human oversight, or else human control over the machines might be retained.” When Kaczynski’s thoughts were published, we were still dealing with the Terminator version of the robots overtaking humanity and destroying it – it was a nightmare scenario, fiction. But Kaczynski wasn’t writing speculative fiction; he was stating, from an academically-trained point of view, where he saw technology headed.

Technology overtaking humanity was only one of the scary possibilities. The rise of the “one percent” super rich and corporations controlling everything, was another. “Human freedom mostly will have vanished, because individuals and small groups will be impotent vis-a-vis large organizations armed with supertechnology and an arsenal of advanced psychological and biological tools for manipulating human beings, besides instruments of surveillance and physical coercion,” he wrote. 

Tech companies have untold amounts of data on every person that logs online for everything from shopping for cat litter to ranting on Twitter. How to understand that data – and what to use it for – is an industry in itself. Could it be used to manipulate us? See the 2016 U.S. election and the rise of fake news spread through Facebook. “Hyperpartisan Facebook Pages Are Publishing False And Misleading Information At An Alarming Rate,” as one 2016 BuzzFeed article put it, showed up in feeds even if the people didn’t follow those groups. Some of the false news was spread the old-fashioned way, through word of mouth; but, as John Herman of the New York Times explained, misinformation on the social media service thrives or dies, “at least in part, on Facebook’s algorithm.” As Kaczynski believes, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. All of this seemed farfetched when Kaczynski’s words were put in front of a mass audience. In 1994, audiences were being told suave cyberterrorists like the ones in the movie The Net were the ones looking to steal your information online and do whatever they please with it.

After all this, however, calling Kaczynski a prophet might be a stretch. He’s a highly intelligent person who wanted to try and stop where he saw humanity headed by any means necessary – including murdering people. Yet he routinely points out throughout his manifesto that there very well might be no stopping the inevitable. The entire point of his manifesto, as he states, is revolution, anarchy: “Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.” Kaczynski, who has stated admiration for the eco-anarchist movement (“but I think they could do it better,” he also said in an interview in 1999), takes aim at both leftists, including “socialists, collectivists, ‘politically correct’ types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like”). He also writes, “conservatives are fools,” and that they’re, “just taking the average man for a sucker, exploiting his resentment of Big Government to promote the power of Big Business.” Kaczynski even engages in some gaslighting: “Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men.”

All of this reiterates the point that Kaczynski is no hero whatsoever. The person who wrote “Industrial Society and Its Future,” is a fanatic. And as is sometimes the case, fanatics can take things to the tragic extreme. Yet there is something to be taken away from his words if you read closely; it’s that we give up a piece of ourselves whenever we adjust to conform to society’s standards. That, and we’re too plugged in. We’re letting technology take over our lives, willingly. It’s the sort of thing that doesn’t take a madman dressed up like a prophet to tell us; it’s all too evident. Kaczynski, to steal a phrase from the tech world, was just an early adopter of these thoughts. Yet his warning will probably forever go unnoticed because of the horrific deeds he carried out to get his message across.

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/flashback-unabomber-publishes-his-manifesto-125449/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

[garden-ghoul]

Subway Stops in the Evil City

If you don’t want to read a full list of all 143 subway stops in the Evil City and how they got their names, this post is not for you. If you do, rejoice!! For reference, a copy of the official MPATH subway map here.

TARR - The Trestle & Ainsdale Rail Road, with its first line completed in 1894, was the very first subway in Evil City. It is one of only two non-union lines, rents out shared subway stations to the U at great price, and is fiercely territorial about union rail lines going through its territory.

Trestle - Downtown of Trestle, named for the Trestle Carryfar Bridge (in turn named after some guy named Trestle). Probably should have been incorporated into Evil City, but wasn’t. Originally a railroad town, officially founded in 1871. Famously terrible train station mentioned in ‘Sleeping on the TARR Tonight.’ I’d like to say it’s the worst one, but in the interest of journalistic integrity I cannot say that. It DOES have some fun fence murals, and fare machines, but it’s still Trestle so they’re always out of order.

Nilton - A neighborhood of Johnstown, just inside the Evil City border. Depressing station. Grimy and full of trash but mostly just sad. No fare machines.

Johnstown - A mill and manufactory town founded by someone named Johnathan who I’m sure has a surname but I can’t be bothered to find out. The Johnathan Swift Bridge at 9th Crossing is named for him. The station has some really cool paintings, but apparently the TARR didn’t authorize them so they keep getting painted over. I’d just let them make my station prettier, but I’m not the TARR big cheeses! No fare machines.

Reliable - Although the Reliable Cable Ferry was replaced by the Mauricio Reliable Bridge when the TARR was built, the neighborhood is still called 8th Crossing. It’s an okay station. It’s fine... for a TARR station, which means it actually sucks. No fare machines.

Ratlands - Today a jazz club, when the stop was named I think Ratlands was some kind of pub. A fun fact about the name: rats have always been associated with intellectualism and, today, jazz, and were actually trained to carry messages during the Munyenem War. There aren’t any far machines, but the turnstiles are permanently broken ‘cause of token suckers so it’s impossible to get on a train by paying a fare anyway.

Pearl Road - An important road that crosses both the Mauricio Reliable and Helia Adamant bridges and defines the boundary between Sospero and Jubilation. Pretty cool architecture and has fare machines. One of the more pleasant TARR stations.

5th Crossing - Since this stop was named, the Sinklow Cable Ferry at 5th Crossing has been replaced by the Helen Highwater Twin Bridge. I don’t know why they don’t name stops after cable ferries... maybe they’re hoping to get rid of all of them one day. Usually someone is busking here, which I love! And it has fare machines, which are broken half the time in a way where you can just whack it and tokens come out.

Rockrist - I don’t actually know why this one is called that! There’s not a Rockrist Street and I don’t know of any kind of encyclopedia of subway station names, so it will remain a mystery. This is a butt ugly station and also if you are on the wrong platform you have to leave, cross the street, and pay another fare. And no, of course it doesn’t have fare machines.

Clagg & Starling - Named after the Clagg & Starling Petrochemical Plant, which I believe famously set the Howlbank River on fire in 1952. I think maybe everyone who actually uses this stop works there. No fare machine.

E St. - The station is on E Street. All the north-south roads in the western half of Eimett have letter names. This station is very boring to look at in kind of a peaceful way. No fare machine and no-one ever uses this station even though it’s a mostly residential neighborhood.

Eimett - A residential neighborhood. Only good thing about this station is the reappearing graffiti that says EIMETT SOUP. No fare machine.

Steady - Named for the Rosalind Steady Bridge that replaced the Steady Cable Ferry at 4th Crossing in 1854. Gross but in an average kinda way. Surprisingly has working fare machines.

South Bank - I wouldn’t call this South Bank because it’s in the Narrows, but I guess South Bank technically includes the entire waterfront of South Ward? This station is unnecessarily snazzy because of all the expensive apartment buildings in the Narrows, and nobody even uses it because Archbow is two blocks away. Also, no fare machines. But at least you can jump the turnstiles because even cops don’t bother to go there.

Archbow - Named for the Eleanora Archbow Tunnel they dug for the Coastal Line. I assume this station was called Pull-together Station before Eleanora Briarcliff paid for it to be renamed. Either way, this was still the Pull-together Cable Ferry for about 20 years until they built Crosslightly over it. An actually nice and impressive station, which when it’s clean and empty reminds me of a museum. Not that it’s ever either of those things, but in old photographs it’s so pretty. It has fare machines for both TARR and U/NECR tokens, and also one of those weird horoscope scales. If you jump the turnstiles here you stand a pretty good chance of getting written up or arrested.

Municipal Intersection - This one’s named for a really ugly courthouse building everyone calls The Intersection, and apparently they have for like 200 years. I think this station is only well-maintained because it’s shared with the U. Kinda pretty. Only U/NECR fare machines. Like all shared stations they actually have guards here, so no jumping.

Benbassat - Named for the administrative building of the Evil City College of Architectural Design. Since this building was very famously built in 1929, the stop must have been called something else when it was named, but I don’t know what. Very artsy, they must have let the ECCAD students at it. Of course it has a U/NECR fare machine, I always feel like the TARR fare machine here was also built by students? It feels bootleg. Anyway this station also has guards.

Redding - Named for Redding University, which was founded in the 1800s some time. For downtown, this station is shockingly bad. I think the Redding students keep complaining and the TARR never does anything, so every so often they have a cleanup day and it immediately gets gross again. No fare machines.

Leekeeper’s Bridge - The bridge to Leekeepersland has a NAME but the TARR doesn’t care, huh? Kind of dilapidated but in a way that inexplicably feels oceany, so it’s nicer. No fare machines at all.

Wharf St. - On Wharf Street? Yeah it was on Wharf Street. Basically Leekeeper’s Bridge but they sweep once every two weeks instead of once a month. No fare machines.

Longshoreman’s Rd. - It has a REALLY good sandwich shop in it, but otherwise it’s almost exactly like Wharf and Leekeeper’s Bridge. No fare machines.

Ainsdale - And we’ve come to the other terminus of the original TARR line! Ainsdale isn’t so much a town as a neighborhood in the port district but maybe it was more of a town back then. A lot of the people who use this station are genuinely dock hands, I think. It’s very grimy. The fare machines actually work, though.

Nusquam St. Bridge - On to the TARR north line, which was completed in 1909. I think this might be the only bridge in the city that doesn’t have a name! When the TARR extended service north of the river, nobody could agree on who should sponsor it, so the money came out of the TARR’s budget and it was never named. It’s super weird to see a bridge with no charms on it, but who’s going to put charms on a dead bridge? Another fun fact about this one is that the subway stop is on both sides of the bridge, which is like a mile and a half long, and each of them only gets trains bound one direction. They’re really badly maintained and don’t have fare machines, so they’re a nightmare to use. Just avoid this stop(s) altogether. If they ever name the bridge it will probably be a better station, maybe check back in 40 years.

3rd Crossing - This station is named for the Faithful Cable Ferry it stops next to, not the neighborhood of 3rd Crossing, which is on Billygoats Bluff. Huge cable ferry transfer station, so the TARR actually puts in a little effort. Most of the effort is that the fare machines work and they often have guards there. Sad little mosaics.

Gale Rd. - Gale Road is North Bank North Bank. So nobody ever uses this stop, they all have chauffeurs or something. And there’s no fare machines anyway. Clean, though.

Cornet Shrive - After the neighborhood, which I guess is named after the Little Cornet River? They have the coolest Jhinyad grocery stores there where you can do a full tea and lunch ceremony. This station has great buskers, both musicians and storytellers. No fare machines, and pretty gross.

Kill Neck - I THINK Kill Neck means “the narrow part of the river” in another language but I forget which one. An absolutely nasty TARR station. For some reason there’s always at least one seagull in there. No fare machines.

MPABT - The Metropolitan Port Authority Bus Terminal. It always cracks me up that they have a bus to Iron Mountain, as if anyone would not just take the ferry. This is the actual worst station in Evil City. It’s full of trash at all times, smells indescribable, and I think if I ever went into the bathrooms I would probably die. They have fare machines, but I’ve never seen anyone dare touch them.

Doghouse - Apparently Doghouse, the neighborhood, is named after part of the glass manufacturing process (so is Cold End). The doghouse is where the molten glass comes through before you pour it. This station is almost as infectious as MPABT, but it doesn’t have fare machines. I kind of feel like something bad is going to happen to me there.

Fireproof - Yeah this is named after an asbestos processing plant. Clean, in a depressed sort of way, and without actually being clean. No fare machines. Sospero - Sospero is called that because it’s SOuth of PEarl ROad, get it? I think the southern boundary is Linden Road. I’m pretty sure this was the terminus of the northern TARR line until it connected up with the southern one in 1948. Nasty in an almost perfunctory way. Everyone in Oxbow is too tired for fare dodging. They just put tokens into the turnstile when they want to get through. It’s so sad. No fare machine.

Narrows - Back to South Bank for the 1948 line, Narrows is named after the neighborhood, which is at the place where the river narrows. There’s nothing wrong with this station, except no TARR fare machines, but what were you expecting?

Delmer - I assume this is named after someone? Like maybe the library is in Delmer Square or something? I literally only get off here when I need to go to the library. It’s a nice station and has plaques about the library’s history, which I have only read on the northbound side because I’m not a tourist, and has well-maintained (relatively) fare machines for both U/NECR and TARR tokens. This is the one station where the U and TARR trains share track, which means there are turnstiles that take both types of tokens. But why would you use TARR tokens when the U ones are 5 cents cheaper?

Queen St. - Severin has never had a queen so I don’t know what this is about. Maybe it’s because it goes to Queenstock? But why is Queenstock called that? This is another kind of fancy neighborhood, but people in Martinet Heights think riding the train is somehow morally superior. Very clean station but no fare machines.

Medicins - This means medicine or doctor or something in Arinese I think. There’s like 15 hospitals in Martinet Heights, including the teaching hospitals for ECU south campus. Kind of nice for a TARR station, but surely the doctors don’t take the train. Maybe the nurses’ union complained and that’s why it has fare machines.

Trapezoid - Named after the large bronze trapezoid set into the plaza. My friend’s grandma said it’s actually a conspiracy the city covered up when a bunch of people died and the trapezoid used to be a memorial plaque, and when I went asking around a lot more people confirmed that there used to be a garment manufacturing company called Trapezoid there until it burned down in the 19-teens and a bunch of people died. Now it’s all office buildings so everyone who gets off at this stop is very stressed. Okay station though, with trapezoid tiling. No fare machines.

Firesein Park - I guess the neighborhood is named for the park. It’s a pretty cool park even if the landscaping sucks, they have concerts there in the summer, which I don’t think they have a permit for. Sometimes the cops bust up the concerts, when they have nothing better to do. The station is always super gross. I think some people vandalize the fare machines on purpose.

Mosslow - Mosslow is kind of like a mini neighborhood between Firesein and Little Orele, which was probably named that because it’s in a dip. Quiet station, nothing architecturally interesting, but good graffiti outside. No fare machines.

Little Orele - Lots of immigrants from the Ohrland have been coming here since I think the 1870s and recently there have been even more because of the Ðlyan annexation and the immigration quotas in the Big One, so the neighborhood is spreading out into Tolly Bank. Best pickles in the city and some very cool murals, including in the station (again, illegally, but they never get painted over). No fare machines.

Strongox - The cable ferry at 6th crossing used to be called just The Ox, which owns, and was replaced by Ɱora Strongox Bridge when the TARR southern line was built. Pretty cheerful for Oxbow, which means you can have a nicer time at certain funerals. No fare machines.

7th Crossing - It’s named after the neighborhood, because they definitely replaced the Steel-Grip Cable Ferry when they built the line. I approve of this one because Munye Steeleye is a very cool name for a bridge. It’s weird for the TARR to go through an actually nice neighborhood, but it wasn’t one when this line was built. Everyone in Longwood uses the Millstone Junction Line anyway. No fare machines.

Longwood Heights - I think it’s funny that they didn’t name this stop Longwood, considering it was built before the Longwood stop on the Millstone Junction extension. It’s nice now because so many artists get in--they’re like raccoons. They put in fare machines just to paint clouds and stuff on them. If you pick a random person in this station there’s 50/50 odds they have a taco in their pocket.

Clearwater - I think it’s VERY funny that there’s a town named Clearwater like a mile downriver of the Muddy River confluence. People there like to take the TARR one stop and immediately transfer to the Millstone. No fare machines.

Confluence DoubleDown - Apparently DoubleDown was established in 1930, and apparently there’s nothing in that weird nebulous area that might or might not be West Montrose except the DoubleDown. This station is the most depressing place I’ve ever been. No fare machines, but you can buy TARR tokens at the checkout in the DoubleDown.

Scrippetts - I think this one is named for a historic pharmacy that got turned into an X-Drug a while ago?? This is a terrible station, only good if you want to walk three blocks and transfer to the B-M Line. It does have a fare machine, but no guards so nobody ever uses it.

Coastal Line - Completed in 1901, the Coastal Line has a reputation for being used mostly by rich fucks in the North and South Wards to go to the beach. But you can also use it to get from my house to a transfer station, so it’s not all bad.

Palisades - The train station is associated with a little shopping center that probably didn’t exist before it was built. I’m pretty sure everyone who lives in the Palisades has two cars and only takes the train for the novelty value. The neighborhood is named for the columnar basalt cliffs north of the harbor, which look like a stakewall. This station is insanely cute in a way that makes me kind of mad. And I lowkey feel like I’ll get arrested for loitering. Does have fare machines, but no guards, because can you imagine rich people jumping a turnstile? They might ruin their manicures.

Brandywine - Named for Brandywine Shoal, a bar district ‘where sailors went to get wrecked.’ Now all the bars are way too expensive for sailors to go to. The station has some pretty funky murals that I’m a fan of, but no fare machines. Maybe they’re afraid drunk rich people would try to vandalize the machines and then sue them for injuries.

Anchor St. - Anchor Street is actually named after the Steadfast Anchor that they keep in the tiniest little public park and it’s worn shiny on the tips from people touching it for luck. You’re not allowed to put charms on it so people leave them around the base of the plinth. The station itself is nothing special. No fare machines. It’s Coastal Line so it’s nice.

Bessemer Forge - There used to be a major forging operation in North Bank! There was one in Queenstock too, unless that was smelting. Bessemer Forge was owned by Charles Bessemer and operated up through the 50s, when it moved out to Oxbow. Also has history plaques, but I’ve never read them because I have no reason to be on Cross Street. I can’t remember if this one has fare machines. Probably, because it’s a ‘transfer station’? That’s just a little joke for all my Orbital Line non-acknowledgers.

Alliance Square - Dedicated on Alliance Day 1722 for the 50-year anniversary of Severin’s formation. Only tourists get off here, and only the stupid tourists who transferred because they didn’t realize you can get off at Millennium and walk. Does have fare machines, because tourists.

Millennium - The Millennium Center was built in 1900 in anticipation of the new millennium, showcasing the architectural specialties of Evil City. The Millennium Fair drew a huge amount of international attention for its flashy futuristic aesthetics and predictions for the year 2000. At this point most of them are probably not going to come true. The station is gorgeous, and was built alongside the Millennium Center with the same aesthetics. It’s also a tourist attraction, so has fare machines.

Union Station - The Coastal Rail Company, the Sea Gate Railroad, and Millstone Passenger Rail united in the early 1900s under the authority of MPATH and completely refurbished Oxbow Street Station into the daring architectural feat it is today. If it weren’t so busy it would be very clean, but it is. You can catch actual heavy rail trains up the coast from here, following the Pike. Not only do they have fare machines, you can also buy tokens from an actual person behind an actual desk. Decent sandwich shops, but overpriced.

Queenstock - Maybe the word queenstock is actually a reference to some kind of smelting jargon? I need to find a book on smelting. This area is where all the students go drinking, so this not a lovely station, especially on weekends. I’d avoid getting off here. Does have fare machines.

Ring 55 at Big Tern St. - Big Tern Street might be named after the island or after the Tern’s Nest or both, I don’t know. I always thought it was dumb to name this station after the ring road around the old city center. You could have just called it Big Tern Street. Cleaner and much less busy than Queenstock, pretty spare decoration and no fare machines.

Long Shore - Longshore is a term for currents or sediment deposition running along the shore rather than into it, which I don’t think is what’s going on here. Probably it’s back-derived from ‘longshoremen.’ But this is the station by my house! I love Long Shore Station, it’s really easy to get into downtown but it’s not super busy, and the ocean waves tiling is so pretty. And. It has. Fare machines. So there.

Flatlands - It’s in Flatlands. The lands, they are flat. Nobody uses this station except people who missed getting off at Long Shore because they were reading or something. Really boring decor. No fare machines.

Lookout Rd. - Lookout Road is named for the Lookout, the lighthouse on Lookout Point, which is where this road goes. Tourists get off here. The station is pretty for them, though, and has not only history plaques but some really lovely art of the Lookout. And yes, fare machines.

Brambling Hill Beach - For rich fucks who want to tan. There aren’t actually turnstiles here. I’m not sure you... have to pay to get on the train here? Fuck the rich.

Brambling Hill - For rich fucks who want to do some shopping. My theory is that all the sunburned and shopping-addled rich people couldn’t handle the concept of turnstiles, or paying for public services, so they took them out.

Millstone Jct. Line - When it was built in 1922 the Millstone Passenger Rail ran from VISTA to 9th Crossing Boulevard; in 1940 it merged with the Sea Gate Line to share track and improve coverage, and in 1943 it extended further south to give service to Birchbrake.

Valentine Institute - It always trips me up that this station isn’t officially called VISTA. It’s just more elegant, guys! The Valentine Institute for Science, Technology, and Arts is maybe the most famous liberal arts college we have. They wouldn’t let MPATH build a line through their campus, so when they wanted to build an extension they had to put the other half of VISTA Station a quarter mile away and make people walk through the tunnels under the college. Architecturally it’s pretty nice, and there are fare machines at both ends.

Monument - Named for an obelisk dedicated to the Birchbrake wreckers and Evil City soldiers who died in the Munyenem War in the 1620s-30s. I always thought it was weird that it’s in Millstone rather than in North or South Bank. It’s kinda cute because it has one of those little news shops where they sell candy. But no fare machines. You can’t even get tokens at the shop.

Millstone East - The eastern part of Millstone. They do have the park here that the original millstone is in, but it doesn’t have a name. The stone, I mean, the park is called Millstone Park. This station always freaks me out a little because it’s so clean. No fare machine.

Azalea Lynn Beacon Drive - Named for the longshoreman and labor rights activist who got us the 8-hour work day. She was shot in the 60s and everyone knows the police had her assassinated. Fun fact, I went to Azalea Lynn Beacon Primary School. This stop is the amount of grimy I expect. It has murals from local schoolkids with quotes and portraits and stuff about ALB. Fare machines usually work.

Linden - There is literally nothing interesting about Linden. Or the station. Or its lack of fare machines.

Marshland - You can walk straight from my house to the marshlands up the Ainsdale Estuary if you take Pier 14 Road. There are some really nice walking trails and sometimes we go birdwatching. This station nominally serves the neighborhood and the depressing little mall on the other side of the estuary, but it’s usually almost empty. No fare machines.

Tern’s Nest - Named for the neighborhood on the hill. Like all hills, it’s inhabited by rich people. I’m not sure if terns used to actually nest up there or if it’s just the sort of place people thought they would nest. I want to climb the rocks but it’s all private property. Nice station, no fare machines.

Legion - Named for the headquarters of Legion Inc. When the station was named in 1922 Legion probably just made paper but now they make plastic stuff as well. The headquarters, built in 1920, was one of the first buildings to showcase Evil City’s trademark structuralist-geometricalist style. You can tell they’re proud of it because the station is built to match. Plus they put the exit right across the street from the building so you come out looking at it. No fare machines.

ECU North - There’s an ECU campus in West Ward too, but it doesn’t have its own subway station. This station is always trashed because of college kids. Does have fare machines. On average one is working at any given time.

Elm Creek - Technically this station is named after the neighborhood/creek that comes down through North Ward, but literally everyone I know calls it Refrigerator Building Station. Because of the refrigerator building owned by United Severr Refrigeration, which has really cool turn-of-the-century architecture and plays little animations in neon on Kingkiller Day. The station has kind of a weirdly corporate vibe. I don’t like it. Does have fare machines though.

Pikes Crossing - Named for the intersection where the tollpike crosses the ring road. It’s possible that the pike was once an actual pike with defensive barriers, maybe back in the 1600s? This is a weird null zone where it’s not quite residential yet but it’s no longer nice or businessy, and it’s not part of any neighborhood. Nonetheless, it’s always completely packed at rush hour. No clue why. Does have fare machines.

Eichelborough - This is very obscure trivia but Eichelborough (pronounced Eckelberg, he was foreign) is named after Eichel Strash, who fled the breakup of the Empire in the early 1700s and somehow got a town named after him. This station has inexplicably bad vibes. No fare machines.

Nasser Rd. - A road. This is also in Eichelborough but a less worse part of it. The station is still a little depressing I guess, but in a normal subway station way. No fare machines.

Cadbury - Named after Cadbury Park, where there is a statue of someone named Cadbury. Apparently people in Cold End really don’t like her because someone keeps graffiti-ing the statue to say ‘Cadbury Sucks Eggs.’ The station is also a mess most of the time and I think the U has given up cleaning graffiti off most parts of it. Has permanently broken fare machines.

Cutty Heights - Another hill full of rich people. Station is hilariously gross, which means none of the rich people use it. I guess who uses it is people who work at rich people’s houses, and people from... Clermont? Is that a real place? No fare machines.

Rush - I do not know why it is called this but people joke it’s because the platform is standing room only at rush hour (which would mean the neighborhood is named after the station, which is very funny). It IS weirdly busy for a commuter suburb. I’m not sure what the station looks like, I’ve never seen the floor. Does have fare machines.

Tanna St. - A street. Nobody ever uses this station. Due to some kind of stupid districting thing it’s not even in Evil City. Awful architecture and no fare machines.

9th Crossing Blvd. - 9th Crossing Boulevard is also Highway 117, which they did a good job not naming the station after the highway. It’s named for 9th Crossing, now the Johnathan Swift Bridge. Very busy station, and actually pretty cool architecture characteristic of the early 20s. Has fare machines! They work!

Promenade - First station on the southern extension of the Millstone Junction Line, completed in ‘43, and from here on the stations are aboveground. The Promenade is a mall, but a fancy old mall from when Sunrise was a new suburb for upper-middle-class people. So the station is also kind of fancy and has patterned brickwork instead of just being cement. And it has fare machines.

Blount St. - If you get off here and you’re wearing a hoodie you get arrested on sight. A very nice looking station that somehow manages to have the vibe that it hates you, personally. The fare machines don’t actually charge you more, but you feel like they want to.

West Castle - I went to the library to look up a map and it turns out there IS a town called Castle east of West Castle (I realize there’s literally an O-Line stop called Castle but in my defense who cares about the O-Line?). They do have a castle but they built it in the late 1800s for tourism reasons and it’s not very good. There’s a casino in it now. Anyway this station is the terrible and inexplicable terminus of the Brinell-Montrose Line, which would mean it didn’t even GO to Montrose when it was built?? It has a sandwich shop which sucks SO bad. The fact that the fare machines work feels weirdly like an insult.

East Montrose - This is the boring part of Montrose. The station: painfully average. No fare machines.

Sliver St. - I understand that this street is named after the cotton thing, due to Badgett’s concentration of textile mills, and therefore is pronounced ‘slyver’. This station is absolutely in the middle of nowhere and it’s just aboveground so you have to pay your fare on the train itself. No fare machines, obviously.

Riverbend - There is no river, stream, or creek here. Maybe it was named as a joke. This is right by the highway and has the distinction of being less smelly inside than outside. It’s not totally enclosed though and it gets really cold in winter. Has fare machines that WE deserve.

Herringbone Rd. - The fact that for the stop in Smelt they picked Herringbone Road is excellent, because it really highlights the fish half of the fish/ironworks pun. Herringbone Road is also Route 40/82 there, so it’s obvious why they picked it, but I’m still pleased. It also has a herringbone mosaic pattern on the walls of the shelter, which is so cute. Didn’t expect to like a station in Birchbrake this much, but here we are. At least it doesn’t have fare machines.

Duliamen - Duliamen has got to be a foreign word but I have no idea where it comes from. Sound vaguely Munyenem. The edge of Birchbrake is kinda a cool area and has some good cafes with an offputting industrial vibe. The station has a minimalist raw concrete thing that kind of scares and comforts me at the same time. No fare machines.

Lamplighters - Named for the Birchbrake lighthouse keepers who lived in the neighborhood. Famously affiliated with the wreckers who foundered merchant ships by tricking them with lamps, and then used the same technique to take down an entire Munyenem fleet. And people say Birchbrake isn’t badass. This neighborhood is way cute so it’s kind of disappointing that the station isn’t. No fare machines.

Birchbrake Center - Honestly I’m not sure they needed three stops in downtown Birchbrake, it’s not like it’s a shopping destination. I will note that the Millstone Junction Line is almost completely useless for 70% of the residents of Birchbrake, but they have a pretty good bus system so it doesn’t matter that much that the subway coverage is so bad. This station has fun murals and fare machines.

Breakwater Rd. - There is no way they ever had to build a breakwater in Birchbrake Harbor, the water is already VERY broken by the time it makes it past the Gravediggers. I always forget this station exists. Fare machines? No fare machines? Who can say.

Iron & Steel - Named for the Iron and Steel Institute of Severin, a trade institute founded in 1788. They have the most amazing museum of steel jewelry. The station has an exposed beams aesthetic that kind of reminds me of the Millennium Center, but it’s probably modelled after the Institute, which did it first when they retrofitted and remodelled in 1897. Does have fare machines.

Blunt Leadenhall - First station on the western extension, completed in 1955. Blunt Leadenhall is a place that makes lead pipes and stuff. I guess it’s historic now but I don’t know why they would have wanted to name a station after it in 1955. It has plaques about the leadworks that I am confident not a single person has ever read. No fare machines.

Longwood - Yep! It’s in Longwood! Unlike the TARR station a block away, they let the artists in on purpose and commissioned a super cool mural about the history of the Evil City. No fare machines though.

Vinegar Hill - A neighborhood in Longwood Ward. I was hoping I would find something like they used to brew vinegar there or it smells sour for some reason, but nobody seems to have any idea why it’s called that. Nobody uses this station. No fare machines.

Southgate Center - A shopping center constructed in 1949. Charmingly old-timey and yet irritatingly upper-middle-class. Almost exactly like Promenade except worse in every way. No fare machines.

Crizzling - Yep! It’s in Crizzling! I guess it was very important for people from Crizzling to be able to commute into the city and that’s why they built this entire line. A totally pointless station that really tests my enduring love of all subway stations. It’s not even underground. And it has no fare machines.

Brinell-Montrose Line - Originally the Sea Gate Line, built in 1921 to serve the Montrose area, it later joined the union with the Coastal and Millstone Lines. Unusually, one of its termini (West Castle) is in the middle of the line, because the Millstone Junction Line extended past it in 1943. I have a theory that West Montrose actually used to be the terminus but they changed it so there wouldn’t be twice as many trains on part of the track.

Grove - It’s my understanding that there is a grove of elm trees. I have no idea who uses this station, and it has no identity to match. And no fare machines.

Brinell South - There is nothing in Brinell whatsoever. It’s only notable because it’s on a grid system unlike any other town I’ve ever been to.

Brinell North - Yanus Brinell thought that his stupid town would become a real city if it had some subway stops.

M54 - He was wrong. Oh, yeah, this stop is called M54 because that’s the intersection number. The grid system has letters going one way and numbers going the other way and it makes everything sound heinously stupid. And to add insult to injury, ALL the stations in Brinell have working fare machines.

Arcair - Renamed for the Arcair Building in south Linden when the Seagate Line became the Brinell-Montrose Line. Arcair is a refrigeration and air conditioning company based in Iron Mountain. This station is corporate in a way that’s trying to be cool and totally misses the mark. Bad! Does have fare machines.

Dearborn - A neighborhood in Brambling Hill. I think this is where everyone lives who works in the fancy shops and at the boardwalk. The station is kind of depressing-cute and has no fare machines.

Karona Rd. - A road, not in any particular neighborhood because neither Flatlands, Canal Road, or Brambling Hill wants to claim it. Kinda middle class, unremarkable station with no fare machines.

MPAFT - The Metropolitan Port Authority Ferry Terminal. I love taking the ferry to other cities, the boats are so nice. This station kind of rules, it’s very boat-themed and has all these white-painted catwalks in a way that makes it fun to run around. And, of course, it has fare machines and you can buy ferry tickets in the ferry terminal part.

Six Bells - Named after the Bellringer (officially known as the Six Bells Light). This is the only lighthouse I know of that also had bells to tell time and deliver storm warnings to the city and the people fishing in the harbor. It was built in 1605 and continuously improved until it was sturdy enough to stand for hundreds more years. The Longshoreman is my local lighthouse but I think the Bellringer is just cooler. Very cute station that seems like it was designed by the same people as MPAFT, and has fare machines because there’s honestly not much reason to go there unless you’re a tourist since MPAFT is so close.

Longfellow - Named for the Acacia Longfellow Bridge, which as the name suggests is the longest bridge in the world! It barely beat out the Miette Crosslightly Bridge at 2nd Crossing, which had been the longest bridge in the world for the previous 8 months in 1921. They used to be the Takes-a-village and Pull-together Cable Ferries, which were maybe even more impressive feats of engineering since it’s still almost 3 miles of river to cross and they did it in the 1700s. There’s not much at this stop, though, just a little neighborhood of old houses cut off from the rest of North Bank by the Brandywine Estuary. Badly maintained in kind of a cute way, no fare machines.

Sea Gate - This neighborhood is named for the fact that it’s the gateway to the sea, which I really feel should have been on Back Head or Cape Hook but nobody lives in either of those places, so. Mostly insanely expensive old greenbrick apartments with nice river mouth views, very nice architecture but pretty grimy and no fare machines.

Sentinel St. - Named for the fact that it goes toward the Sentinel. Sea Gate Station is also on Sentinel Street, and Sentinel Street Station is also in Sea Gate, so theoretically their names could be switched. Another pretty but dirty station but does have fare machines. I’ve been trying to figure out if this was the terminus of the Sea Gate Line way back when, because it couldn’t have used Union Station, right?

Tomisin Square - All the way back south since the rest of the stations between North Bank and Montrose have been covered above. Tomisin Square is named for a family who came down the Hallasford River in the 1700s with a bunch of good seeds and farming practices and made South Castle a thriving agricultural region. Very good shops, and the station has cute art. Yes fare machines!

West Montrose - IF this station was built to be the terminus of the Brinell-Montrose Line that would explain why it it looks a little like a fancy wine cellar. Despite the dumb fancy station, West Montrose is where it’s at. Cool independent stores, pretty good cheap restaurants, and surprisingly interesting architecture. More evidence for the original terminus theory: it has fare machines.

Hwy. 40 at Sarch Rd. - I hate the name of this subway station. It is named after both a highway and a street that is really horrible to say. Sarch. Eugh. The station is in the most depressingly pointless part of Montrose and also both grimy and depressing, and has no fare machines.

Salom Pier - Named for one of the piers in Badgett, mostly used for shipping raw cotton in and cloth out to the Howlbank. An okay station. A fine station. Whatever. I can’t remember if it has fare machines.

Nine-Mile Drive - Named for the road that runs from the Hallasford River north of the confluence to the southern edge of Badgett. My map of the Evil City greater metro area confirms it’s about 11 and a half miles long. Kind of a warehouse-y car dealership-y area that I wouldn’t go to if you paid me. No fare machines.

NECR - The North Evil City Railroad completed its first line in 1947. Although it is not a union line and isn’t administrated by MPATH, it’s still known as part of the U and has a far more cordial relationship with the union lines than does the TARR. If you say ‘en ee cee ar’ you’re a cop.

Locust St. - It seems strange to me that NECR decided to put its southern terminus in a place that already had such a high density of subway stations. There’s a Bido literally right outside Locust Street Station but because of the transfers involved it’s much easier to walk from Wharf Street.

Cross St. - Skipping all the way to North Bank, we have the unimaginatively named Cross Street Station.

North End - Yeah, it’s in North End.

Greenmarket Square - Site of a farmers’ market from the 1500s until now! The only place with prices better than your average Goods Barge is the part where they sell vegetables at a discount because they’re starting to go off.

Edgewater Rd. - This road seems to be named for the very short distance it follows the edge of the Barrow River rather than actually being near the coast.

Barrowmouth Ferry - If you want to get literally anywhere by ferry it’s easier to go to MPAFT and they have more destinations. But the Barrowmouth Ferry (if you’re not from around here: pronounce it Ber-mith) has been running for a couple hundred years and they don’t want to stop now.

Roselawn St. - A street.

Woollingfuoy - I love to say Woollingfuoy. Never been there, though.

Backbarrow - Ditto Backbarrow.

Garlsbrood - I LOVE to say Garlsbrood. It used to be a pretty important railroad town, but these days the trains don’t need to stop as often and GST is out of business.

High Hill - Cute town. Kind of kitschy. More train memorabilia than even *I* think is tasteful.

CNR Research Park - The first stop on the northern branch of the NECR, which was completed in 1954. Nobody I have asked has any clue what CNR stands for, or what they research. Maybe another government conspiracy??

Breitseid Place - An experimental suburb of Backbarrow that reportedly has prefabricated houses they have to decorate a LOT to make you forget they all come out of the same mold. Kind of creepy.

Newkirk - What on Earth is in Newkirk? Commuters, I guess.

Orbital Line - Widely agreed to be the most useless rail line, it was completed ten years ago during the economic boom from war manufacturing. Since large portions of it are aboveground or utilize existing tunnels it was relatively cheap to build despite its long track length.

Sharpe St. - Starting up in Sea Gate we have Sharpe Street, named for Mayor Ghiris Sharpe (1878-1886), who was one of the most corrupt mayors we’ve ever had, and that’s saying something. Outrageously sucky station for North Bank, as if the O-Line needed to prove how much it doesn’t deserve to exist. No fare machines.

Callen Yards - A railyard that has been in use since the mid-1700s. I believe this is technically the terminus of the O-Line because it’s where trains go at night (service stops at 1am). And yet it has no fare machines. The architecture is so boring, but given that it’s in Callen Yards that’s forgivable.

Graves Hill - Perhaps the one hill in Evil City not occupied by living rich people. Most of the people who die in Ends or Kill Neck Wards have been buried there, rich or poor. The difference is you’re not allowed to walk on rich people’s graves. They have little wrought-iron fences. I like this station, even though people do live around there it’s always a little somber. No fare machines, though.

South Ends - Ends sucks and I don’t like to be there. I don’t know why it has the vaguely ominous name it has and neither does anyone I’ve asked. This station would be nice if it didn’t have an aura of being in Ends. No fare machines.

Broodway - Named for the road that goes to Garlsbrood. Even stronger Ends aura, but near some okay shops and it does have a sad little mural and one (1) fare machine.

Fester Highlands - If I hadn’t decided to ride the entire circle of the Orbital Line that one time I never would have seen Fester Highlands. I wouldn’t be missing much. I can’t remember anything about this station.

Backstairs - I’ve heard that Backstairs is supposed to be kind of a pun on the fact that it’s at the back end of Hell’s Gate, but if so I don’t get it. It is, however, definitely the coolest neighborhood in the ward. The station has great decoration by local artists, and some art pieces that are made to look like fare machines but don’t give you tokens, so if you’re dumb enough to put your money in there the artists get it as “donations.”

Swift - Named for the Johnathan Swift Bridge that replaced the Swift Cable Ferry at 9th Crossing in 1837. Station that wants to eat you I guess and has no fare machines.

10th Crossing - Named for the site of the Take-it-easy Cable Ferry, the only cable ferry in Evil City still operational besides the one at 3rd Crossing. Take-it-easy has been in dire financial straits since the early 40s when a road bridge was built nearby, especially since the ferry operator (Mr. Milonnillo, he’s kind of famous) refused to raise prices. But since the Orbital Line station was built, a lot more people use the ferry to cross over to it because the parking is so bad! I think Mr. Milonnillo’s friends decorated this station because it’s unusually cute for being in an area no-one gives a gull’s ass about. No fare machines, but I’ve heard Mr. Milonnillo will sell you tokens because people sometimes give them to him instead of money.

West Trestle - Due to the terms of the rental contracts the TARR got MPATH to agree to for shared subway stations, nobody is allowed to build subway stations in their territory, which includes the entire town of Trestle. So MPATH built a station juuuust outside the town boundaries. It’s the only way to get from Trestle to Montrose without taking an incredibly stupid route, so it’s pretty busy and pretty disgusting. Does have fare machines.

Muddy River Park and Ride -  A supremely redundant train station right across the river from Crizzling, but I can’t stay mad because the name sounds like a theme park. Muddy River Slip and Slide. Boring open-air station with fare machines.

Hwy. 19 at Hallasford River - This might be the only genuinely useful station on the Orbital line, because prior to 1974 if you lived in the far suburbs you would have to walk several miles and cross at least one river in order to get to the nearest train station, and parking was probably a nightmare there anyway. Depressing, disgusting station with no fare machines.

West Castle East - No, this is not a station in Castle. No, even though it’s 2 blocks from the Brinell-Montrose Line there’s no stop there and you can’t transfer. West Castle is a fake town anyway. Bad architecture and no fare machines.

Castle - Yes, this is a station in Castle. Castle is a very slightly less fake town but the fake tourist castle really hurts their case. The station is really gaudy and they have way too many ads for the casino. They have a slot machine and a bad little news shop but no fare machines.

Bondurant St. - I don’t really know that much about the history of Birchbrake, okay, everyone I could ask is from Evil City or Ramshead. All I know is there’s a Bondurant School of Metallurgy at the ISI. Anyway this station isn’t too bad. Hasn’t got the shine worn off it yet, but no fare machines.

Near North - Another neighborhood of Birchbrake with a lot of warehouses. It’s just north of downtown, which I imagine is how it got its name. The station disappointingly does not match the nearby MSJ stops and is very boring. Fare machines here for some reason.

Brigantine - Brigantine is a weird little not-quite-a-town between Brinell and Long Neck Bay. I can’t tell if it’s trying to be Brambling Hill 2 or if it just wants to be left alone. Don’t think anyone ever uses this stop, and it has no fare machines.

Long Head - Named for the headland north of Long Neck Bay, which is named for the long neck of land that makes it extremely difficult to get into Birchbrake Bay (waves Wreckers Day lantern). Absolutely no reason for there to be a stop here, I can’t remember anything about it.

GST - Garlsbrood Shipping and Transit was a short-lived rail company that only operated from 1897 to 1909. According to old maps it originally went from Garlsbrood, through Ends, to Linden, where I think they were planning to extend to Birchbrake, but they went out of business shortly after building a rail bridge right next to the Nusquam Street bridge. I can’t find anything on what the bridge’s name is, but nobody uses it now. This section is for rumors I’ve heard about ‘the Ghost Line,’ an unreliable rail line made entirely of abandoned stations with tragic pasts. I am not including non-tragic stations on the historic GST Line.

Garlsbrood Station - Okay, just one, but only because it’s spooky. This is the original terminus of the GST. No tragic past here as far as I can tell, unless you count the GST going out of business. It’s closed down but there’s a cool illegal skate park inside and the skate punks say sometimes a completely empty train comes in.

Station in Long Shore - Another original terminus. GST used to own a dock there, and the rails still exist, but I’ve personally never seen a train stop there. It’s where Azalea Lynn Beacon worked and organized, so my aunt calls it Beacon Station.

Secret station under 5th Crossing - I can’t believe the TARR would have ever let another rail company dig under their lines, and I can’t work out the geometry of this, if the GST crossed the river at Nusquam Street. But I’ve been down there and there is a station in the same style as the terminus in Garlsbrood. I didn’t explore too much because I think there were people living in there and I didn’t want to meet them. The only tragic past I can figure for this one is the time Clagg & Starling set the river on fire in the 50s.

Station near the White Star chemical plant in Backstairs - This station is on private property, so maybe it was intended to be used for deliveries to the plant. Again, it isn’t actually on the route that the old maps show for GST, and I wouldn’t even put it on this list if my friend didn’t insist that it’s haunted by the ghosts of people poisoned by improper cyanide storage at White Star 20 years ago.

Johnstown Flood Station - This one is pretty well documented, partially because it has a long informative plaque about the 1848 Johnstown Flood, and partially because someone I know has actually managed to get on a train there! She said it was black with a gray stripe and had more of a nose than the modern subway trains (I’ve never found a photo of the GST from when it was running so I can’t confirm). It was raining hard that day and the river was rising really fast, so she took shelter in what she thought was an abandoned subway station--so imagine her surprise when a train picked her up!

Trapezoid 2 - She got off at the next station, where it wasn’t raining, and it was straight up Trapezoid Station, nothing in between. Except that when she went aboveground there was a burning building in Trapezoid Plaza. She went looking for a pay phone to call the fire department but she couldn’t find any anywhere. Eventually she went home to use the phone there, but the fire department thought she was making a prank call, and when she went back there was no building, on fire or not.

Station in Eimett - The entrance is between two TARR stations, and it’s boarded up. I didn’t manage to get inside, and I can’t figure out what tragedy would have happened there, so this is more of a speculative one. But there aren’t a ton of abandoned subway stations downtown because GST is the only one that actually went out of business instead of merging and keeping its stations.

Station at the bottom of Cutty Hill - My friend’s uncle swears this station wasn’t here 15 years ago, before the phosgene riot, and he’s lived in Fresh Pond his whole life. He said when he was released from the hospital there was a new train station two blocks from his house and nobody else thought it was weird. He admits he could be having some kind of memory problem from being poisoned, but it’s also not on any maps and doesn’t belong to ANY railroad company we could find. My life’s mission is to get my hands on some bolt cutters and break in there.

[pravin1224-blog]

Once upon a time I used to know a 13 year old boy who was convinced that he was destined to become something spectacular in life .

Then one day, he grew up.

Soon, the day slipped into years . And the years into decades . Until one fine morning when he looked into the bathroom mirror and found a stranger in there. A stranger who reminded him of a typical non-hero character out of a Woody Allen movie, someone who was standing at intermission and unable to account for the thousands of days that had slipped by, taking all his innocent and absurd dreams with them.

That 13-year old boy used to be me . Or maybe he used to be you. The you, you left behind – at misty bends and messy ends, as you went about earning your scars and chasing illusions you mistook for real life.

Time is indeed a queer commodity that is reconstructed in memories and deconstructed in regrets as it goes by. Most of us sleepwalk through our youth in trying to win some kind of identity . Then we stumble upon middle age & scramble to preserve that identity . And suddenly, standing at mid-point , we realize that somewhere in this medley of all the artificial races we were enlisting in, we have quietly let go of our greatness. Partly by default , partly by design. The first pangs of urgency hit us. We know this is no dress rehearsal. It is our own life that is gliding past. We straighten up and reach for it. 

In many ways, 2019 has been that year for me. The year of pause and reset. The year of recalibration so as to find my personal 2.0. Agree, it might not fetch me that Olympic medal or get me a phone call from Stockholm in this lifetime, but it should at least bring forth the best in the rest of me. Someone had written somewhere that one day in your journey, the you who you became will come face to face with the you who you could have been . This year, and in the years ahead, I have chosen to test this out with my personal toolkit, my realizations from having lived a life of sorts. At least I owe it to the 13-year old who I would like to see eye to eye as we shake hands on the other side of the finish line.

Here’s my 2.0. Do let me know if it matches with yours ?

Find your song – Like Rocky says, ‘Fighters fight..’. Likewise, painters paint. Poets write. You were born with your own song inside you, a song no one else can sing as well as you. Find it. Don’t show up at the finale with your song still unsung.

Toss it up – As we get older, we become suckers for conformity. We join the herd, and get trapped in time capsules that we legitimize as our rule book. And in the process, we lose our fluidity and edge. Find ways to toss your days. Every day is different. Each day has its unique flavor and rhythm. Discover it. Savor it. Live it.

Subtract your busyness – In today’s super connected world, it is very easy to get zombified by irrelevant chatter and numbed by FOMO ( fear of missing out). Get off the bandwagon of manufactured busyness. If anything really needs your attention, it will find its way to you somehow. You don’t need to check your phone every 30 seconds for that.

Be the best first hand You – When people talk of you in your absence, there should be 5-6 consistent things that they recall about you. That is your own personal brand. Work on it, nurture it and protect it. This is what should make people love and respect you beyond your day job title. In 2019, I de-linked my brand from my day job. Its not that I do not love my organization or my job. Far from it. But I prefer an identity that is my own. And I feel glad that I have so many friends, connections and well wishers out there who don’t care what I do as my day job.

Find your well – My favorite among Haruki Murakami’s many metaphors is the ‘bottom of a well’ thing , a place his protagonists often retreat into. We all need a well as we do our 2.0. This is where we need to disappear periodically, to lose ourselves in dark silence every day, so as to find ourselves better. You are not ready to deliver your swansong till you know all that you must know about you.

Don’t be the dinosaur in the room – Keep pace with trends & technology. There is no scientific evidence suggesting that our brains become less capable to embrace newness as we grow older. In fact, I think it is the reverse. We actually develop a wider perspective to apply new things as we have a larger platter of past experiences to draw from. Most people get stuck in the ‘good old days’ syndrome and squander off their precious 2.0 in cynicism and nostalgia. As the saying goes – The good old days were not that good. The good new days are here. And better days are coming.

Don’t be a corporate robot – Most people out there wake up, grimace at the morning news, eat breakfast, drive their Toyota Corolla to work , sit nodding in endless & pointless meetings, grumble about life's unfairness at the vending machine, ‘Like’ their boss’s stupid posts on social media, criticize Trump and Modi, go back home, watch TV and go to bed. Don’t be most people. Your 2.0 should be about finding your unique way to add value. To yourself, to your workplace and to the world you live in.

Find the smaller meaning of life – In pursuit of some unnecessary profound, we often miss the necessary ordinary. Each day is an opportunity to do our own small things for this world. Find few small things to do each day. If each of us took care of the small things, the big things will take care of themselves.

Stop chasing credit for the work you do - The world is a fair place. Every honest effort gets noticed, recorded and applauded in due course of time. Your time shall come.

Find your Zen - Human beings, by nature, are designed for stability and coexistence. This whole discourse on disruption is overrated and temporary . It will soon pass. And life will go on.

Get fit -If you miss your workout for a day, no one will notice. If you miss it for three days, you will notice. If you miss it for a week, others will notice. One of the things you need for an effective 2.0 is robust health. Respect your body. And it will pay you dividends as you slug it out there and compete in the relevance battle with people half your age.

Dress sensibly - Don’t buy skinny jeans. Donate your light coloured suits. No one might tell you so, but they make you look silly.

Decode love - In 2.0, you discover that love is not a few nice words from a Rumi’s couplet , but rather, it is a person we uncover as we grow older – in someone else, as well as in ourselves. Love during your first innings is often impulsive, hormonal & stupid. Love during 2.0 becomes something that grows & triumphs over time and circumstances. Make sure you love your partner. Also make sure you remember to tell your partner that you love her / him. Nothing silly in that.

Draw out your circle of dignity – Youth is about misadventures and compromises. Hungry to get an appreciative nod from the world, we keep making allowances. Each such allowance leaves us with a vague vacuum within, a discomfort we cannot explain . One of the things about 2.0 is plugging the vacuum by drawing your own circle of dignity, your personal code of conduct. This is the line you won’t cross, no matter how big the repercussions be.

The dude in the sky - Mark Twain ( in his 1916 classic ‘ The mysterious stranger ’) wrote – “Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” Loosen up. Every once in a while, connect with your eccentric friends. Or with your own eccentric self. You are but just a speck in the scheme of the universe which again is only a speck in the larger scheme of a drama being scripted by that brilliant playright in the sky . Don’t take yourself too seriously.

 Live fair. Stay kind. Have fun. Finish well.

============================================

[bruundamm52-blog]

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[weeklyhumorist]

The Tremendous Space Force Planning Meeting

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On my supersonic rocket ship, Nobody has to be hip, Nobody needs to be out of sight, Nobody’s gonna travel second class, They’re be equality, and no suppression of minorities, We’ll take this planet, shake it round, And turn it upside down, My supersonic rocket ship~ The Kinks, “Supersonic Rocket Ship”

Meanwhile, in Donald Trump’s White House…

“There’s this movie. Big movie, huge box office, Independence Day. With the black guy that can talk like a white guy. That’s a real talent, I have to tell you, most of them can’t do that. The President in the movie, good looking guy, right out of Central Casting, looks a lot like me, gives this speech. Something like, ‘We won’t go  softly into the space! We’ll have a great, terrific Independence Day!’ Something like that. I want to recreate that exact speech when we premiere the Space Force, Michael, can you handle that?”

President Donald J. Trump, sitting at a raised podium in the Presidential Ballroom at the Trump International Hotel in Washington D.C., has just asked summer tentpole film director Michael Bay a direct question.

“It needs smoke and wind machines, shit like that, you can do it, Michael?” Trump asks.

“No problem, Mr. President. Maybe we can add some explosions in the background. My team will get working on the storyboards right away,” Bay says, then goes back to his iPhone Googling if any young starlets he wants to cast have nude photos leaked on the Internet from The Fappening.

The gaudy ballroom in the hotel is filled to capacity. Gathered are representatives from the White House, the Pentagon, NASA, various Senators and representatives from Congress, as well as movie directors, producers, costume designers, prop makers, and special effects experts, Madison Avenue branding and marketing pros, Fox News personalities, science and astronomy experts, representatives from McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Nike, Gatorade and other large companies looking to score merchandising tie-ins, all of the adult Trump children minus Tiffany, and actor Gary Sinise who has signed on to be the Space Force’s official spokesperson.

Trump bellows, “We got Lieutenant Dan! The great Lieutenant Dan, folks! Lieutenant Dan is going to be presenting an hour special on the Space Force on all four networks soon. We already bought the time, really expensive. The tremendous Mark Burnett is producing it – we made a lot of money with The Apprentice, that I can tell you, a lot of money, the number one show for like twenty-three years, right, Mark? – and the Space Force, it’s going to be as great a success as The Apprentice, that I can tell you.”

Trying her best to not let the planning meeting to take a harsh turn and veer off into Trump-esque rambling tangents of gibberish and non-sequiturs is First Daughter Ivanka. Printed agenda in hand, Ivanka suggests, “Daddy, let’s talk about the ideas you have for the uniforms.” She knows Space Force uniforms is a big deal to her father. It’s about “branding.”

Binks. That Jar Jar is “hilarious” and “really smart humor.” The next twenty-five minutes consists of President Trump going into great detail about what the Space Force line of toys needs to be. Action figures, shuttles, rockets, even a home base control room. Of course, the showcase of the toys is a super fit Donald Trump action figure in a glittering stars and stripes Mylar jumpsuit. The little guy is surprisingly pulling off those knee-high boots.

Representatives from both the Kenner and Hasbro toy level have broken into a shoving match after a contentious bidding war to manufacture the toys. Trump loves this, smirking as he teases each company with a deal, then jacks up the price again. Kenner’s CFO just sucker-punched a Hasbro designer. I, your intrepid White House correspondent watching covertly from the back of the ballroom, has never seen Donald Trump look happier.

A NASA advisor has just made the mistake of using the phrase “malevolent or benevolent alien species.” The next 17 minutes are consumed by trying to explain the difference between malevolent and benevolent to President Trump. He still hasn’t grasped the concept, even when broken down to “good and bad.” “Regardless, the Space Force needs to fuck those aliens up,” he says.

I take a lap around the ballroom, listening to the muted conversations as much as I can. Some officials are even covering their mouths as they speak like a catcher talking to a struggling closing pitcher. The mood is disbelief, shock, and embarrassment.

In the men’s room, there’s chatter amongst the suits such as;

“What are we doing? This is nuts.”

“Is he crazy? This makes no sense. We don’t own space. And Eric isn’t right in the head. Is there, you know, a medical issue? I can’t say the word I’m thinking of out loud.”

And, “I’m going to make a silly amount of money here, but will I be able to live with myself?”

Back in the ballroom, Trump is getting cable news withdrawal and needs to wrap the planning meeting up. It’s been three hours since he knew what the talking hairdos are saying about him and he’s getting ornery.

He says, “Look, folks, I’m going to leave you to it, you should be here all night in this great hotel, the best in Washington. There’s a lot of really great things you can do, I’ve given all the ideas. Everything. And nobody has done what we’ve done, this administration, you all know that. It’s been record breaking. In every way. We need another record. Another branch of our great military, who love me a lot, the Space Force!”

With that directive, President Donald J. Trump leaves his hotel and takes the motorcade back to the White House. Thrilled to watch the news channels talk about the major meeting he just led, to laud him for his leadership and vision, Trump is furious as he watches leaked cell phone video of Neil deGrasse Tyson heckling him on a loop. The real salt in the wound, is the anchors laughing loudly at the physicist’s jokes.

Three cheeseburgers deep, a pajama-wearing Trump slumps, pouts, and in true Citizen Kane fashion, mutters, “SPACE FORCE…”

Illustration by Mikey B. Martinez

  The Tremendous Space Force Planning Meeting was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[maryofone]

Salesman Eyes

I have an account executive fetish and if I don’t get rehabilitated soon it’s going to fucking kill me.

What’s an account executive, you ask? Well if you’re not familiar with the term, an account executive (or supervisor or manager or director or even just an account guy) is someone whose job it is to manage the relationship with the client and make sure all projects are seen through from start to finish and meeting the client’s expectations. Account guys are the ones who wear the suits to the ad agency, while the rest of us creatives look like we belong in a basement.

I’ve worked in advertising for 10 years, so I’ve worked with a LOT of account guys. They definitely have a stereotypical vibe. Nice clothes, well-groomed, well-mannered, usually on the charming side. And of course that makes sense because these are the guys who have to manage the client relationship. If your entire role is based on keeping a specific person or group of people happy, then it would behoove you to have at least a little bit of charm. I’ve come to refer to these guys as ‘professional flirters.’ I love watching them in action, tending to the client and staying super engaged in the conversation, joking around with them, nurturing the rapport. I personally think it must be THE most exhausting job on the planet, but hey. That’s why they keep us creatives in the basement.

As much as I scoff at the manufactured warmth these account guys are able to muster on a daily basis for literally everyone they talk to, I still find myself susceptible to them. For the last several years I’ve caught myself developing lethal crushes on account guys, and it’s always, always, ALWAYS a bad idea. I’m just too susceptible to a charming man in general. Even in the restaurant industry, my first boyfriend was a fucking flirting MACHINE, with every single girl we worked with. Servers, customers, everyone. He just loved flirting, partially because that was just who he was, and partially because he wanted dem tips. Over the years I’ve continued to be a sucker for a man who likes to flirt, and thus developed a dangerous tendency to fall for guys who flirt for a fucking living.

Account guys have something I like to call ‘salesman eyes’. I’m not sure if it’s something they’re born with or if they develop it after years of charming clients, but it’s definitely a thing. I can see how the term ‘salesmen eyes’ could conjure up an image of someone with an insincere or exaggerated look in their eyes, but salesmen eyes are just the opposite. They’re subtle, and sexy, and if you’re not careful, completely fucking arresting. When you think about it, eye contact is an important part of being a professional. There are so many instances in business when you have to communicate with people, and eye contact is such an important part of that. Then when you consider the profession of an account person, who is constantly communicating to their client with the intention of keeping them happy, eye contact is like a skill they can use to their advantage. And boy do they.

Salesmen eyes aren’t a constant feature of an account person’s face. They don’t always have them turned on. They wouldn’t be as effective if they used them all the time. Salesmen eyes are something an account person will turn on for just a flash, when they’re talking to someone. They could be charming the client into extending the deadline, or charming the creative team into working their third late night in a row, and they’ll find juuust the right moment to flash those eyes. And if I were to describe exactly what a flash of salesmen eyes looks like… I’d say that it happens in a moment of connection where the two of you have just shared a joke or both agreed on something, and he’ll look you right in your eyes, with a little smile, and just scrunch his lids ever so slightly, as if his eyes are hugging yours, just for a second. It’s borderline imperceptible but it still hits you. And a skilled account person will flash this intoxicating little scrunch at exactly the right time, so they can get exactly what they want from you. The best account people (or creative directors or CEOs or any other person who’s job it is to sell you on something) are the best at this.

I have to admit that I am completely fucking hopeless when on the receiving end of salesmen eyes, and it has cost my heart dearly. If I had a nickel for every account guy I got butterflies for because of those stupid salesmen eyes, I’d be a rich bitch. I just can’t resist that sexy scrunch, I guess. Even if he scrunches like that for all the girls.

[supertechengineer]

How does a Super Sucker Machine Work?

Introduction

In the realm of industrial cleaning, efficiency and effectiveness are paramount. To meet these demands, the Super Sucker Machine has emerged as a game-changer. This powerful and versatile equipment has revolutionized the way industries tackle cleaning and maintenance tasks. In this article, we will explore the capabilities, applications, and benefits of the Super Sucker Machine, shedding light on its role in enhancing productivity and ensuring a cleaner and safer work environment.

1. The Power of Suction

The Super Sucker Machine derives its name from its exceptional suction power. Equipped with a robust vacuum system, it can generate immense negative pressure to extract various types of materials, liquids, and debris. Its wide-ranging suction capabilities make it a versatile asset in industries spanning manufacturing, construction, mining, and more. With the ability to handle both solid and liquid waste, the Super Sucker Machine offers a comprehensive cleaning solution.

2. Applications and Use Cases

a) Industrial Waste Management

One of the primary applications of the Super Sucker Machine is industrial waste management. It excels at removing hazardous materials, such as sludge, chemicals, and toxic substances, from tanks, pits, and storage facilities. Its powerful suction ensures thorough cleaning, reducing the risk of contamination and improving workplace safety. Moreover, the Super Sucker Machine can be utilized for the collection and disposal of solid waste, preventing environmental pollution and promoting sustainability.

b) Sewer and Drain Cleaning

Blocked sewers and drains can cause significant disruptions and health hazards. The Super Sucker Machine offers an effective solution for clearing these blockages. With its high-powered suction, it can remove stubborn obstructions, including debris, grease, and sediment, restoring optimal flow. By eliminating clogs, the machine prevents potential flooding and minimizes the risk of structural damage to underground infrastructure.

c) Spill Response and Cleanup

When spills occur in industrial settings, rapid response and containment are crucial. The Super Sucker Machine plays a vital role in spill response and cleanup operations. Its ability to swiftly and efficiently extract liquids, such as oil, chemicals, and hazardous substances, aids in mitigating the environmental impact. By preventing the spread of pollutants, the machine assists in safeguarding ecosystems and minimizing the financial and legal consequences associated with spills.

d) Construction and Mining Sites

Construction and mining sites often face the challenge of managing large volumes of waste material and debris. The Super Sucker Machine proves invaluable in these environments, facilitating the removal of construction waste, slurry, and other byproducts. Its powerful suction enables quick and thorough cleaning, enhancing productivity and maintaining a safe working environment.

3. Advantages and Benefits

a) Time and Cost Efficiency

The Super Sucker Machine offers significant time and cost savings compared to traditional cleaning methods. Its powerful suction capability enables swift cleaning, reducing downtime and enhancing operational efficiency. By eliminating the need for manual labor-intensive cleaning, it frees up resources and allows personnel to focus on other critical tasks. Additionally, its versatility across multiple applications makes it a cost-effective investment that delivers long-term value.

b) Enhanced Safety and Compliance

Maintaining a safe work environment is of utmost importance in any industry. The Super Sucker Machine plays a pivotal role in promoting workplace safety and compliance. By effectively removing hazardous waste and minimizing the risk of spills and contamination, it reduces the potential for accidents and health hazards. Moreover, it aids businesses in meeting regulatory requirements and ensures adherence to environmental standards. By utilizing the Super Sucker Machine, companies demonstrate their commitment to employee well-being and responsible waste management practices.

c) Versatility and Adaptability

The Super Sucker Machine's versatility is a key advantage. It can be customized and equipped with various attachments and accessories to cater to specific cleaning requirements. Whether it's cleaning underground storage tanks, removing sludge from industrial ponds, or maintaining oil and gas pipelines, the machine can be tailored to suit diverse applications. This adaptability makes it a valuable asset across a wide range of industries.

d) Environmental Sustainability

In today's world, sustainability is a crucial consideration for businesses. The Super Sucker Machine contributes to environmental sustainability by effectively managing waste and minimizing its impact. By efficiently collecting and disposing of hazardous materials and pollutants, it helps prevent soil and water contamination. Additionally, the machine can be used for recycling and reusing collected materials, promoting a circular economy and reducing overall waste generation.

Conclusion

The Super Sucker Machine has revolutionized industrial cleaning by providing unmatched suction power and versatility. From managing industrial waste and cleaning sewers to responding to spills and maintaining construction sites, this equipment offers a comprehensive solution for a wide range of cleaning needs. Its advantages, including time and cost efficiency, enhanced safety, adaptability, and environmental sustainability, make it a valuable asset for industries worldwide. By harnessing the power of the Super Sucker Machine, businesses can achieve higher productivity, improved safety standards, and a cleaner, greener future.

[coleyoly]

Breaking Point - Part 1

Hero/Villain AU

Danni x Alina ( @kiyoshimori )

Happy Birthday, Morikins~!

How The Suit managed to enter the vault without tripping any of the security was beyond her. Gefn was confident that everything at Ahlberg Inc. was state of the art - nearly impossible to crack - and yet this squatty, Master Chief-looking asshole came waltzing in a quarter after 2 without so much as a peep from the alarms. It was the clattering of his armor that alerted Alina first, and she shifted higher from her vantage point in the ventilation for the first time that night.

She could see him through the slats as he moved through the room, breezing passed the bait they had set out. Alina dared to glance in the direction of her partner, Tsunami, who was tucked away in an unlatched vault on the opposite wall. Each of their dummy valuables had been rigged to a sticky bomb, so if he gave into temptation they would have gummed up his gears. So much for the easy option, Alina thought bitterly. The risk for this getting messy in an entirely different way just shot way up.

She waited to be certain that his attention was occupied before taking a slow breath and slipping into her gaseous form. Her body fell like a demolished building, until all that was left was a cloud of smoke that curled through the grate. He went for the vault housing the digital storage of Ahlberg Inc's research documents and was focusing intently on the lock. The particles of her being coalesced in the space behind him, transitioning from cloud, to shape, to form. The specialized cuffs they had made were in her hands, ready to snap across his forearm-

When a bullet shattered through his visor. 

It was a glancing shot, one that took out a chunk of his helmet but missed the fatal blow. She saw part of the face - one panicked blue eye and a scar across the nose - and saw strands of hair hanging down. Light from their enemy's gauntlet surged, the face disappearing in shadow underneath the helmet. When Alina came back to herself, her ears were ringing and she was showered in plaster and dust. From the other room she heard Tsunami shout. Gunfire. Another sonic blast.

They were in pursuit.

+ + +

Their chase nearly tore the building apart. The Suit was outnumbered and had been caught off guard by their ambush, and right now his only focus was on escape. Any time they had him cornered he fought to disengage and flee, but not before Tsunami laid into him with gunfire and her super powered fists. The amount of property damage was reaching astronomical heights, and internally Alina cringed. So much for doing this as a favor, Alina thought as she picked her way carefully through the debris of a ruined research lab. Gefn had made the request for them to stop the facility from being robbed, but Chrissie's tendency for blunt force was doing more harm than good. Should have left the muscles at home, she mused, and squinted her eyes against the dust. Up ahead she could see the armored suit shoulder his way through a locked door, knocking it clean off its hinges. The integrity of the machine was starting to look rough, with pockmarked bullet dings up the side and smoke pouring off a broken panel in the left shoulder.

"We coulda had them if you waited!" Alina seethed when her partner caught up. "And by now there are probably a hundred cop cars on the street below us."

"If I made my shot he would be dead," Chrissie said through clenched teeth. Alina could tell that her partner was starting to get frustrated. Every time she knocked their quarry down, he was getting back up. Even worse, every time they had him cornered he had cleverly managed to slip around them. Chrissie didn’t like being outsmarted. "It was worth it!" 

"Yeah, well we're about to lose him."

He initially was trying to make his way to the roof, but Chrissie effectively discouraged that method by pummeling him through floors below. Alina could sense a change in tactics, and knew the layout of the building well enough to guess that he was heading for the parking garage. Once they reached the final exit, out into the night air, she faded once more into smoke and willed herself upwards. Once on the top floor she reformed, although with regret. 

Alina saw the light from under his boots, and knew he was about to take off. There was nothing she could do about it now, not even if she became smoke again, and she let out a frustrated yell after him. Thrusters beneath both boots flared, and although The Suit lurched forward awkwardly, he was still able to catch himself with a steadying blast from the right gauntlet. The Suit launched off into the night with a streak of smoke trailing behind him.

"Fuck," Chrissie swore heatedly as her run slowed to a jog. The look on her face made Alina bristle. There was accusation in those eyes, and she knew wasn't going to hear the end of this any time soon.

Great.

+ + +

It wasn't the last time they ran into The Suit. That night was just the beginning of an ongoing rivalry that seemed to escalate with each clash. For nearly a year both she and Chrissie followed the trail of The Suit, alarmed by the common theme of weapons - or more accurately - weapon manufacturing with each heist. Despite their best efforts, their enemy managed to slip from their grasp each time, although often sporting a momento of Tsunami's fury. Just talking about the super villain now was enough to put Chrissie on edge.

"I'm going to put him in a can crusher and slam the lever until the pulp comes out," is what Chrissie said after their last meeting. This wasn't the first time her girlfriend had gotten worked up over a villain and it wasn't going to be the last, but the vehemence in Chrissie's voice made her cautious. As long as they were impeding whatever The Suit was up to, and ultimately brought them to justice then Alina, AKA Smoke, would be satisfied.

She just had to make sure her girlfriend didn't make good on her promise.

Alina had been thinking about The Suit as well, trying to analyze the person who might be inside the bucket of bolts. Personally, she wasn't so sure they were a "he." Either it was a young male, or it was a female. There was something about the face she had glimpsed beneath the helmet that made her suspect, and the height difference would make more sense in a woman. Chrissie had smashed open their helmet more than once, blinded by her rage, but Alina was paying attention.

She could recognize those eyes anywhere.

+ + +

They met on the street by sheer coincidence. Alina had been on her way to the coffee shop near the university when she saw - without a doubt in her mind - the pilot inside The Suit. The scar across the nose sold it, but she would have known from the eyes alone. The way they widened in recognition, the same measure of fear from their first meeting, the same colorful shade of blue. Her enemy, 5' 2" and cuter than she ought to be, came to a timid stop. While the flow of pedestrians continued around them, they remained still. Her face was expressive, starting with recognition that became apprehension, and then panic. Alina sensed the urge to run before it happened, and was moving before her rival made to turn.

Between the buildings she snagged the pilot by her backpack and slammed her face first into a wall.

+ + +

Danielle Watkins… Was sick to her stomach. Perhaps in part because of the fasting diet her mother put her on, but mostly because she was sitting across an interrogation table from Smoke, famous hero in Temperance City and one half of the duo trying to kill her for the past year. Right now she was alive, but she wasn't sure about her odds of staying that way. The dark look on Smoke's face made her nervous.

"I- uh- I work for- I work for my mom," Danni supplied haltingly. "We were- we were going to take the blueprints and, um-" Her mouth tasted like copper. Coppery and unpleasantly dry. Her heart was racing so hard she could hear it in her ears, and she was beginning to feel lightheaded. "I'm sorry, may- may I have some water- please?"

"Spit it out first." Smoke said lowly.

"Okay- uh-" Danni swallowed and took a steadying breath. "I know that all of this looks- Not good. But my mom wanted the blueprints- She said that these weapons are being sold to foreign governments to use against civilians. Mom wanted to- she wanted us to understand these weapons so we could provide protective implements to the rebels holding the line. Protecting people..."

Her voice trailed off from Smoke's dubious, unimpressed expression directed at her. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

"I've been able to make some amazing things with the information I've gathered, though! That serum I stole, I was able to modify it to create an instantaneous healing elixer. And the disperser beam - the one that literally blows cells apart?" Danni, still cuffed to the table, made an expanding gesture. "I built a stabilizer unit that can be strapped to the chest to keep people held together."

"So you're an inventor then, and apparently a biochemical engineer. And the pilot of the Suit?"

"Well- um. Yes?" Danni's big eyes blinked at her, apparently stunned by the disbelief in her tone. Alina scrutinized her for a long moment, taking in the rosy hue of her cheeks and the earnest angling of her brows. There were no ticks, no hesitation there. Just a sincere countenance, and Alina begrudgingly knew she was telling the truth.

"Alright. And what did your mom think about those things?"

Maybe she was a sucker for a sweet face, but Alina had a hunch. Looking back on their encounters, it was a rarity that she or Chrissie ended up hurt, and no damage started until after they arrived. Even after breaking Danni's nose during the arrest, she had been nothing short of polite and cooperative. This conversation they were having now was prompted by nothing more than a glare. All of this seemed to indicate that Danni believed what she was saying and - oddly enough - Alina wanted to believe, too.

"She said, uh… Those things are just on the backburner for now. The team- they have other things they want to focus on." Her gaze lowered to the table. Alina knew personally the subtle tone of rejection to those words.  

"… I don't know what I'm going to do with you yet. For now, hold tight. I'll get you some water and something cool to put on your nose."

+ + +

With the exception of her hesitance to eat, Danni was a model captive. If Alina had bothered to put her on a schedule, she suspected that the tiny brunette would have followed it to a T. She prodded at her meals, brushed her teeth, and even went to bed nearly by clockwork. Any questions Alina had thrown at her were answered, and she was able to confirm on occasions that Danni was telling the truth. All the better for her, since Chrissie was away on "strong hero" business and Alina was left alone in the base.

The only problem was that Danni was hesitant to touch her food.

"Watkins," Alina drawled out in annoyance after picking up yet another nearly full tray. "I know my cooking ain't fantastic, but it's edible. What gives? I'm going to have to force feed you if you don't start eating soon." It wouldn't be very heroic of her to have her captive withering away beneath her base. If this was some kind of protest, it needed to be resolved quickly.

She wasn't expecting Danni's face to flush with shame. Her eyes trailed off nervously, like she couldn't bear to watch Alina's response. "I- My mom put me on a diet about a week after I failed the last mission. Said that maybe if I was thinner I could navigate the suit better. And that I needed to lose weight anyway. I was getting fat."

That was not what she had been expecting to hear. Alina took stock of Danni, how loose her clothes were fitting and the thinness of her wrists. Her face appeared sunken compared to the fullness from before, when Alina stole glances. Looking at her now, she looked skinny. It was hard to imagine the machine known as The Suit stacked on top of those bony shoulders. "And what kind of diet did she put you on?" Alina asked cautiously.

"I… Couldn't eat for a few days. And then I was allowed to eat a few things." Allowed. For fuck's sakes, what was she looking at here?

"And what were you allowed to eat?" Alina tried to keep her voice even. There was a growing anger inside of her and it wasn't aimed at Danni. Missing pieces of this dynamic between Danni and her mother were falling into place, and the picture it was making was starting to feel familiar.  

"Uh, well- A salad? Celery…"

"Danni, I know you're smart. I know that you are smart enough to know that starving yourself is dangerous."

"I know, but- it's been fast. And I didn't want to disappoint my mom anymore."

I don't want to disappoint my mom. Danni's voice had been so timid and quiet, but in Alina's ears the words were ringing. It resonated with her somewhere deep, and everything clicked into place. Dannielle Watkins, The Suit, the genius inventor and engineer, was being abusively manipulated by her mother.

"You don't need to lose anymore," Alina blurted. "Seriously. At this rate you're not going to be able to pilot your Suit. I'm going to need you to eat, and if you're worried about health and shit I will take you out to our gym each day. But you- you are done starving yourself. I won't let you." Good, bad, villain, or maybe not, Danni didn't deserve... Whatever this was. "I'm gonna go heat this up and you and me, we're having dinner together."

+ + +

Alina kinda liked having Danni around.

She was sweet. She liked motorcycles, and action flicks, working on machines, and cracking puzzles. Alina found out that the majority of the work on The Suit was done by Danni herself, and that she had repaired it each time Chrissie tried to send it to the scrap yard. "I had to fabricate a lot of parts to put it back together last time," Danni confessed with a grimace. At the moment she was on her bunk, nursing a beer that Alina had given her. "I uh… Must have made her pretty mad. I'm lucky I didn't break anything."

"…" Alina swirled her beer mutely, trying to string together a tactful response. Danni must have sensed her apprehension, because she let out a nervous little laugh - it was cute - and quickly tried to smooth things over.

"Uh-! Well, of course. I can't blame her, given the circumstance. In a way it was good because I got to make some tweaks. Still couldn't convince my mom to let me paint it though."

"Hm…" Alina swept loose strands of hair behind her ear and flashed Danni a grateful smirk. "What colors would you pick, Watkins?"

"Oh, I've wanted to paint it white from the beginning, with an aqua blue and orange accents. It would have looked so good."

"I think that color combination is taken by the Gear Gals. Or was."

"They were my grannies."

Alina sat up a little straighter, surprised. The Gear Gals were a pair of older heroes that were known for their tech. They had done a lot of work around the world, tackling even some of the most dangerous villains and donating technology to areas that needed it most. The both of them had seemingly vanished five years ago, just as Alina herself was stepping out onto the scene.

"Huh… Shit. I'm sorry, Danni."

Danni smiled at her, but it didn't reach her misty eyes. "Yeah. Just… It's the nature of the game, isn't it?"

"Yeah… The nature of the game."

+ + +

"Chrissie, for fuck's sakes, I said STOP!"

Alina caught the arm of her partner before she could swing again, and was nearly flung forward by her strength. When Chrissie came back from her trip, Alina told her who she had in their cells, told her about the things she had found out during her investigation. Chrissie had seemed energized by the prospect, but not angry. There was nothing in her behavior that told Alina she was going to start throwing sucker punches as soon as she stepped into the cell door. "The fuck are you doing? She's cuffed!"

"Kinda squishy under all that armor, aren't ya?" Chrissie taunted through bared teeth. Beneath Danni's tucked head, blood was starting to pool on the ground, and Alina could see the white pearl of a tooth nearby. Danni was on the floor with her hands - bound by handcuffs - up to protect her head. That was the position she was in when Chrissie kicked her across the room. Completely helpless and at their mercy, that was the person Chrissie was taking her anger out on.

It struck Alina hard, suddenly, that the person she was trying to hold back was supposed to be the hero and the one on the floor was "the villain."

There was something wrong with this picture, and Alina knew it. Had known it. Before Chrissie could swing again, Alina was between them, tightly knotting her fist into the front of Chrissie's shirt and shoving her toward the door. The look on her face must have startled her partner, because she stumbled backwards on their way out. "I told you. To stop." Alina said lowly, shoving Chrissie back further. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Shove. "She's on the floor, she's powerless and you're like- 'I've gotta take advantage of this?' What? 'Gotta take my anger out? Pay this bitch back?'"

"She's been a pain in our ass all year!" Chrissie, who seemed to gain her bearings, shouted back. "She's the bad guy here, why are you-?"

"Is that why you're a hero, Chrissie? So you can just beat the shit out of people and feel good about it?" Alina said darkly. "This isn't the first time, and this isn't the first time you've ignored me when I told you to stop."

"People like them don't deserve to be treated gently," Chrissie spat. "You weren't complaining when I broke that Allen guy's neck."

"He wasn't handcuffed in one of our cells when that happened. He had a civ hostage and was going to kill her. He was trying to kill us. You wanna flip the script on this, Chrissie? What about that kid whose jaw you broke? The one with the chip in his head? Or that guy who was just trying to expose Hammer for being a kid diddler?"

"Alina, that's not fair-"

"IT IS FAIR. Because we're ALWAYS LIKE THIS. We always have to go in tryin' to hurt somebody and it's always your idea! When all of this started I asked you to let me try- let me TRY to cuff The Suit and what the fuck did you do, Chrissie?"

"Tried to end it QUICKLY-!"

"Tried to end it quickly. I was this close to cuffing her and you wanted to end it quickly. Here we are a year later, with a bleeding person in one of our cells. Somebody I think- I believe might have been trying to do something right, but got tricked. Fucked up. And you still want to end it quickly, don't you?"

They were squared up, facing off. A hardness had settled in Chrissie's face, one that Alina recognized. In the past it was something she had to handle with care, a mine with a trigger that could blow up at any second. It didn't matter if it wasn't her fault, when Chrissie was unhappy she made sure everyone around her was unhappy. In the past, to look at that face made Alina feel like she had to fix it. Today, when she saw the stubborn clench in Chrissie's jaw all she wanted to do was match it.  

"Beating the shit out of 'bad guys' isn't always the just thing to do. Killing them off to 'end things quickly' isn't the right thing to do." Alina said firmly, as the full impact of what she was saying seemed to dawn on her. "I don't- Want to just kill people without thinking about it, anymore."  

Chrissie's jaw clenched, and Alina could see the anger burning in her almond-shaped eyes. Her throat bobbed as she seemed to struggle with what to say. Alina remained steadfast, meeting her gaze and holding her ground. She waited.

"Are you really that stupid?" Chrissie spat. "Sweet little face. You just want to fuck her, don't you?"

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Get out," Alina said with a short, empty laugh. "Get the fuck out."

Chrissie looked utterly shocked. Her jaw dropped, working fruitlessly to form words.

"Get out of here. Pack your shit."

+ + +

The aftermath of Chrissie storming out was… quiet. As the dust settled from their fight, Alina remained numbly rooted in the hallway. Her adrenaline faded as time ticked on, leaving her feeling tired and heavy like her limbs were weighted with lead. It was such a cliché to feel stuck in time, captive to an echo of a moment, but here she was staring blankly down a damn empty hallway like it was going to change.

"Um, Alina..?" Alina turned her head slowly, looking back to the open door of Danni's cell. In the doorway she looked like such a tiny thing. Her short brown hair was mussed, and the side of her face was swelling in the spot where Chrissie had punched her. Blood had smeared across her chin where she tried to wipe it away on the back of her hand, reminding Alina again that there was just a tooth lying on the floor somewhere. Danni was standing at the threshold of the door as if conflicted about whether she should cross it.

"Are you okay?"

The edges of Alina's form looked hazy, and Danni wasn't sure if it was because of the blow to her head or some manifestation of Smoke's powers. Danni suspected that she would be in a high emotional state, and this sort of thing wouldn't be unheard of for a super human. Smoke looked raw and powerful and- well, pissed- with her dark eyes narrowed in Danni's direction and her shaggy blond hair tousled. On a good day Alina was damned beautiful, but delivering that sort of look pinged a level of attraction Danni wasn't quite ready to deal with at the moment. She swallowed hard around it and tasted copper.

"No. And neither are you." Alina approached with wisps of smoke curling off her shoulders. Danni's head canted backward to match Alina's gaze despite feeling so small underneath it. It genuinely surprised her when the hero touched her face gently, and she could see the flicker of regret. "You just got sucker punched by Tsunami bare-fisted. How he hell are you still up?"

She smiled carefully around her injuries. "I've been pumped full of serums and gone under some conditioning, myself," Danni supplied readily. "I'm pretty solid underneath it all."

"Yeah well you still lost a fucking tooth. I can't believe I let her go at you like that."

"You didn't though," Danni insisted softly. "In fact, that was uh- really brave what you just did."

"Yeah right."

"You stood up to your friend. Maybe I'm a little biased because you saved my skin, but I, uh- I think you're pretty cool. Right now."

Alina stared searchingly into her face, held briefly in apprehension before grasping Danni's wrists. She produced a key and unlocked the cuffs. "You sweet talker. Just for that, we're going to visit a medical super to make sure she didn't rattle your beautiful brain around."  

+ + +

Her eyes misted up. It was hard, being faced with all of the evidence to prove what she had suspected all along. Being forced to face the truth in images, documents, and footage. Knowing that she was complicit by acts of sheer, willful ignorance, and people had ended up hurt or dead because of it. She tried to shy away from Alina who was watching her, brown eyes warm for the first time and achingly sympathetic. "Please don't- look at me like that. I don't deserve it." Danni croaked as the first tears fell.

"I didn't dig all this up to hurt you," Alina said softly. "I just had a hunch and went with it."

"Why?"

"… Because you're too sweet? Because it's pretty obvious that your mom has done some shit to you. That she wants to control you." Alina crossed her arms and rested her hip against the table. To meet Danni's evasive gaze she canted her head down, creating a curtain of blond hair that covered some of the images. "I saw something good in you." "Well you were right about a lot, but- Alina look at the things I've caused." Danni said wetly. The tears were flowing freely now as the guilt gripped her. There was destruction in these photographs, bodies on the ground, blood and gore splattered, and all of it pointed back to stolen blueprints that had been passed from her hand to Sherry's. "I'm a monster. I suspected- and here's the proof."

"You did suspect…?"

"She's my mom, Alina. I wanted to believe she was good and I- I was too much of a coward to confront her. I suspected, and I looked away. Why do you think I let myself be here for so long?" Danni cradled her face in her hands and groaned. "The locks on your cells are so out of date I could have cracked them in minutes. I didn't want to use you, but I had hopes that- Maybe if I forced myself to sit I'd get the truth, good or bad. But it's worse than I thought it could be. What have I done???"

"You handed stolen documents to someone who told you they would do good things with them. And then she did something terrible." Slipping into the chair beside the smaller woman, Alina cautiously rested her hand on Danni's shaking back. It made her heart ache to see her like this. "That's what's been done. I think the better question is- what are you going to do, Danni?"

 “I deserve to rot in jail."

 "What do you want to do?"

She was silent for a few moments, swallowing hard on the feelings burning inside her. "I want to-" Her throat tightened. "God, I want to make it better. I wanna undo what I can and help with what I can't. But I'm afraid. Sherry is the only family I've got left, and she's going to be so furious if I do this… I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be."

Surprised, Danni looked to Alina who gazed back at her calmly. She exuded such peace and confidence, a sense of calm started to overtake the pain. "You don't have to make a decision tonight, but I'm going to need a partner and you need somewhere safe to start over. We can work together to undo the damage your mom has done." Brushing the tears from Danni's cheek, Alina said, "You deserve a second chance. And maybe you can be mine, too."

Hugging was never Chrissie's thing, but maybe there was something to it. Danni moved cautiously, so slowly that Alina was confused at first. It wasn't until she had her arms looped around her, with her head resting shyly on Alina's shoulder that the hero finally got the gist. The blond shifted to hold the smaller woman, only feeling slightly out of her depth, but Danni was warm.

"Thanks," came the soggy, muffled voice from her shoulder.

For the first time in a long time, Alina felt like maybe she was doing the right thing.

[speedkleen-blog]

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[homelilys]

Cute Hammock for Pets by Cat Crib

Are you a pet owner? Then take a look at this cute hammock for cat. This is very unique ideas and they are so beautiful.

A unique idea for hammocks come from the Crib, this is a great Paint hammock for your pets. things that are unique from the bed this is located under the chairs.

Cute Hammock for Pets by Cat Crib

This idea comes from pet owners who want to always be with, by utilizing the free space on a Chair makes the hammock is the perfect solution for those of you who live in the apartment because it has no more space for it all.

I recall there was a shopify site that is selling this cat crib. However, in 2020 August, the products are no longer available, perhaps due to the fact that it is not well sold. Thus, you may want to check all other cat hammocks available for sale here. Enjoy

Bestseller No. 1

AmazonBasics Cat Condo Tree Tower With Hammock Bed And Scratching Post, 16 x 20 x 16 Inches, Gray

Elevated cat hammock with dual scratching post pillars

Plush hammock provides a comfortable space for your cat to relax

Helps keep your cat from damaging carpets, furniture, curtains, and more

Natural jute fiber scratching posts help keep nails healthy

Neutral color tones fit in with your home’s existing décor

$26.99

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Bestseller No. 2

NOYAL Cat Resting Seat Perch Window Hammock Cats Kitty Safety Bed with Durable Heavy Duty Suction Cups Cat Bed Holds Up to 30lbs(Extra 2 Suction Cups)

✿【Material】: Breathable Oxford Cloth + Plastic, cat's body temperature won't overheat because of this cat window hammock breathability. In winter, add a mattress on this cat perch bed, this window mounted cat bed will be the most comfortable.

✿【Measurement】: 21 1/4" x 12 5/8" x 1 1/2" ( L x W x H ); stainless steel cord length: 26"; suction cup diameter: 3.3"; strong enough to hold your cat up to 30lbs.

✿【Safety Mounted Cat Bed】: Industrial strength suction cups hold up to an amazing 30 pounds. Your cat could jump in and jump out of this resting seat, which is another kind of exercise, keeping good healthy of your cat.

✿【Easy to Install】: Installs in seconds to glass windows or doors, please press hard 4 suction cups on smooth and cleaning glass.

✿【Easy to clean】: Cover easily comes off and can easily be cleaned by HAND WASHING.

$18.99

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SaleBestseller No. 3

PETPAWJOY Cat Bed, Cat Window Perch Window Seat Suction Cups Space Saving Cat Hammock Pet Resting Seat Safety Cat Shelves - Providing All Around 360° Sunbath for Cats Weighted up to 30lb

MEASUREMENT - 22" x 12" x 1.5" ( L x W x H ); stainless steel cord length: 23"; suction cup diameter: 3.3"; strong enough to hold your cat up to 30lbs.

360° FREE OF DEAD CORNER SUNBATH - Basking in this cat window perch, your pet cat avoid moving again and again as long as the sun didn't go down. Well, it's also space saving cat bed, without taking up valuable space in your home, your cat can also enjoy a front view of nature while basking.

BREATHABLE OXFORD CLOTH CORD - Made of oxford cloth, cat's body temperature won't overheat because of this cat bed cord's air permeability; in winter, add a mattress on this pet cat hammock, this window mounted cat bed will the best cozy cat bed.

SAFETY MOUNTED CAT BED - Industrial strength suction cups hold up to an amazing 30 pounds. Your cat must jump in and jump out of this resting seat, which is another kind of exercise, keeping good healthy of your cat.

100% GUARANTEE from PETPAWJOY- If the product( window perch) is deemed defective, you can simply return to us for an No Hassle Replacement or Refund.

$18.99

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Bestseller No. 4

Furhaven Pet Cat Furniture - Tiger Tough Plush Cat Tree Hammock Self-Grooming Entertainment Playground, Silver, One Size

SELF-GROOMING: The hammock bed playground features an arched brush with soft, but sturdy, bristles that help catch loose hair and dirt from a preening cat

ENTERTAINMENT: The cat playground features fun activities to keep your favorite feline entertained, such as scratching posts and a plush ball toy

SCRATCH POST: The scratching posts are wrapped in sisal fiber, which carries the rough, bark-like texture of a tree to better satisfy your cat's instinctual need to scratch; the material is also highly durable for long-lasting, economical use

COZY SURFACE: The base and hammock-style perch are lined with plush faux fur that is luxuriously soft and gentle on both noses and paws for enhanced play and lounging comfort

PRODUCT DETAILS: Silver; 15.75" x 15.75" x 17.3"

$26.99

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SaleBestseller No. 5

Catry, Cat Tree Hammock Bed with Natural Sisal Scratching Posts and Teasing Feather for Kitten (Version 2)

PREMIUM QUALITY: We possess more than 20 years’ manufacture experience for pet supplies, 6 years’ pet supplies provider in United States

DESIGN: Made with Fleece and Paper Rope, stable material with Long Life, can keep great shape and provide your cat a cool place to rest!

SIZE: Overall Size 15.7-inch L/ 15.7-inch W/ 27.8-in/H. Perfect size for cats up to 10 lbs

This cat tree will provide your cat a great and comfortable place to jump, rest and play with.

INSTALLATION: Assemble needed, all tools and instructions included.

$31.99

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SaleBestseller No. 6

Vea pets Luxury Cat Hammock - Large Soft Plush Bed (24x16in) Holds Small to Medium Size Cat or Small Dog | Anti Sway | Attractive & Sturdy Perch | Easy to Assemble | Wood Construction | Prime Cat Toy

2019 UPDATED ** THE PERFECT PREMIUM CAT HAMMOCK - Vea Pets Cat Hammock is made from all-natural wood that is attractive in any home. We know you and your pet will enjoy our bed, however, if you are not completely satisfied with it at any time, simply contact us.

EASY TO ASSEMBLE |STURDY CONSTRUCTION | ANTI SWAY DESIGN - Our heavy-duty cat hammock with stand is designed with your cat in mind. Carefully placed anchors are used to mitigate swaying so your cat has peace of mind when they are on the bed.

MADE FOR MOST SIZE CATS | SMALL ANIMALS - Small Dogs, cats, and any other small pets you may have will love their new bed. Holds comfortably up to 20 - 30 lbs.

GET YOUR PET OFF THE FLOOR - Sleeping or napping on the hard floors is not always the best place for your pets, get them into their own hammock to be extra comfortable.

BONUS CAT TOY INCLUDED - We have included an extra bonus for you and your cat. Make sure your best friend is happier than ever with their new bed and toy. Life cannot get better for them. **** Please watch instructional video for assembly if needed *****

$36.95

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SaleBestseller No. 7

Angela&Alex Window Cat Bed, Cat Window Seat Window Perch Bed Hammock with 2 Extra Replaceable Suction Cups Space Saving All-Around 360° Sunbath Holds Up to 55 lbs for Any Cat Size

BREATHABLE OXFORD CLOTH- Made of oxford cloth which helps us never need to worry about cat's body temperature will overheat because this cat bed is breathable. Adding a mattress on this cat hammock is a great choice for a cat to rest in winter.

PACKAGE INCLUDE: One complete set window mounted cat bed + Two extra replaceable suction cup which is extra strong viscosity and extend the life of products.

360° SUNBATH: Not only saving your room space but also a great view for your cat to enjoy the sunny day and offer your cat a front-row view of nature, weather, people etc.

SAFETY CAT SEAT: Industrial-strength Suction cups hold up to an amazing 60 pounds. Your cat can jump in and jump out of this resting seat, which is another kind of exercise to keep good health of your cat.

WARM PROMPT: Before first actual pet use, put some other heavy objects (about 2KG) for roughly an hour, which will help the sucker to release tension and improve/stabilize the suction strength.  After that, your pet can enjoy the seat more safely.

$17.99

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Bestseller No. 8

K&H Pet Products Kitty Sill Cat Window Hammock Perch (Heated or Unheated) Unheated Soft Fleece 14 X 24 Inches

Sturdy cat window perch offers a soft comfortable feel

Sturdy enough to hold the heaviest of cats, supports up to 40 pounds

Super-soft orthopedic foam with washable faux-lambskin removable washable cover

Give your cat a sunny seat with a great view of nature

No tools requires and only a 2" window sill is required. The legs are 3/4" wide and 8"from window sill to bottom of legs.

$26.99

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Bestseller No. 9

TRIXIE Pet Products Baza Cat Tree

Wrapped in soft long-haired plush fabric

Natural sisal wrapped scratching posts

Hammock with metal rim for added support

Dangling pom pom toy

$25.09

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SaleBestseller No. 10

FUKUMARU Cat Hammock - New Moon Cat Swing Chair, Kitty Hammock Bed, Cat Furniture Gift for Your Small to Medium Size Cat or Toy Dog

THE PERFECT PREMIUM CAT HAMMOCK - Pets Cat Hammock is made from pine wood and Plywood that is attractive in the home. We know you and your pet will enjoy our bed, however, if you are not completely satisfied with it at any time, simply contact us.

ANTI SWAY DESIGN - Our cat hammock with stand is designed with your cat in mind. Carefully placed anchors are used to mitigate swaying so your cat has peace of mind when they are on the bed.

GET YOUR PET OFF THE FLOOR - Sleeping or napping on the hard floors is not always the best place for your pets, get them into their own hammock to be extra comfortable.

EASY TO CLEAN - The linen cushion is reversible and can easily be removed for machine washing. And is designed to keep your dog cool during hot weather.

FOR MOST TYPES OF CATS - Small Dogs, cats, and any other small pets you may have will love their new bed. Holds comfortably up to 10 - 20 lbs.

$25.79

Buy on Amazon

The post Cute Hammock for Pets by Cat Crib appeared first on Homelilys Decor.

Source: https://homelilys.com/accessories/cute-hammock-for-cats/

[howtofindthemoney]

Pundarika

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 15

With the quartz quest finally completed, Jimmy and Nick decided to relax with their weird yet lovable friends for the rest of the day, after they had their short power nap. It wasn't fully dark outside yet, but that didn't mean they couldn't set a campfire and enjoy a good moose frank roast. Butterscotch was chomping his teeth into an oat cake Nick promised he'd bake. Diana roasted five franks on the same stick, Rodent Girl would roast cheese with her franks, and Benson kept burning his because he isn't sure whether his meat is done or not. While eating, Jimmy and Nick told them about stuff in the twenty first century. Nick usually tells scary stories around campfires, but it wasn't all that dark.

"The future is sooooooo weird yet very astonishing! Work is done more easier and fun is more fun! Tell me more!" Said Rodent Girl. "Okay. There's this little box, well nowadays most of them are pretty much flat and wide, with a window on it. It magically projects moving pictures that tell stories. It's called television. T.V. for short." Said Nick. "Ooooooooooooooh!" Wowed Rodent Girl, Diana, Butterscotch, and Benson. "Unfortunately, rarely anyone watches TV, in our generation, anymore. All the real fun happens on the internet!" "What is the internet?" Asked Benson. "It's a bit complicated to explain, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. Opportunities are universal on the internet. You can only access it on a computer, with wifi. A computer looks similar to a TV, but has a 'typewriter' attached to it. You can play brightly colored games, do your shopping in peace, share your written diaries anonymously, and much more, and I'm gonna stop there cuz I said I'd keep it short and sweet. And also, some things on the internet are evil, but I won't go into that." "It sounds too good to be true! How do machines such as the internet even work? What, or who, is inside this box, anyway?" Asked Diana.

Jimmy responded with his techno babbling, explaining the full details of an open source system and how it operates. Nick had to cut him off, since his words brought nothing but confusion to his new friends. So like Nick, Jimmy decided to go short and sweet as well.

"*Sigh* Science. It's like magic, but manmade. And it actually works." "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Again, wowed Rodent Girl, Diana, Butterscotch, and Benson. "If you do get home and decide to visit us, could you bring me one of those cardiovasculars?" Asked Diana. "I want a fondue maker! A tub sized one! Make sure it comes with a year supply of swissssssss!" Screamed Rodent Girl. "Please, please! If there's anything I'd want more, get me a dishwasher!" Benson begged. "Houyhnhnm. (I just want a helicopter.)" Whinned Butterscotch. "Those things are very expensive." Said Nick. "Awwwwwwwww." The four of everyone moaned. "I can manufacture those myself!" Said Jimmy. "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!" "But we shouldn't tamper with the timeline like that. The effect could be adverse." "Awwwwwwwww." "No fondue maker?" Cried Rodent Girl. "But, I can bring back some of my cooking. I'll even write down some recipes." Said Nick. "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Rodent Girl came up to Nick and then hugged him deeply.

"Thank you, friend! I wish you two didn't have to leave!" Cried Rodent Girl again. "Well, it's only temporary when the next storm comes." Nick replied "I wish it never rained!" "What is going on here?" A familiar voice was heard.

Jimmy and Nick froze. Everyone turned around. Mitzi had returned from work again.

"We were just talking about fondue makers and broken hearts." Rodent Girl responded to Mitzi. "Interesting. Anyhow, I thought this over while at work, and I'd like you to know that I'm here to apologize." "Huh?" Both Jimmy and Nick. "Diana, I'm sorry for my behavior yesterday and for being so selfish. Oona, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable with those rat puns. I'll try to resist making one ever again."

The two boys glared up at Mitzi, both with the same facial expression, and their arms crossed. After all the trouble and anxiety Mitzi put them through, they might moreover have their apology too. Mitzi glared back at the boys. She can tell they already knew she tried to foil their plan.

"How 'bout it?" Asked Mitzi. "Hmmmm, you did apologize. I think all's left to do is forgive and forget." Replied Diana.

Diana got up from her log and hugged her friend. Mitzi didn't show any sign of being crushed, that's because Diana was just wrapping her arms around her, without using any of her strength. Everyone was touched over this scenery except Jimmy and Nick. Mitzi is still a horrible person in their eyes, no matter how sweet the moment looked. She sabotaged their time machine, and she didn't even apologize to them. The boys are sick of having to content with her bull. Someone oughta do something about it. Nick lowered his head to Jimmy's ear, and whispered.

"I have a plan. I'll wake you up for it."

.............................

[*Early morning*]

The sun was beginning to raise, but everyone was still asleep. Mitzi had just finished a small breakfast, contesting of toast with jam and a black coffee, and packed her lunch ahead of time. She then took her plate and mug to the counter for Benson to wash. When she got there, she found a note laying around.

Mitzi, I want to talk to you about... uhhhhhhhh.... ...a thing. Come into the shed and we can discuss this, thing, in private. Diana. P.S. Why are you so mean to Nick and Jimmy? They're super cool!

Mitzi immediately rushed to the shed after reading the message. However, when she got there, all she found in the shed was emptiness. After that, the door slammed close, leaving the shed in pitch darkness. The darkness was short lived when a lantern lit up the room. Jimmy and Nick were there, guarding the door behind them. Mitzi's heart pounded in her chest.

"I KNEW IT! I knew thou were up to no good! Luckily, I had myself prepared! Now perish!" Screamed Mitzi, then held up a crucifix. "*Yawn* Like that's gonna work. We're not demons, lady." Said Nick. "Lies! Lies you tell! There probably is no future awaiting for your return! You're not like any of us! You dress funny! You talk weird! You're little friend talks even weirder!" "Leave Jimmy out of this! And I'm sorry we don't fit in the middle age description of 'natural fashion!'" "And what do you expect future people to look like? Time advances as it progresses, and humanity starts to improve! Actually, it's also getting worse, too. Demons are myths! Hoax! A construct of religious conviction!" Said Jimmy. "If you were demons, you'd still deny it!"

Nick was at his last straw now. He walked up to Mitzi, grabbed the cross, and threw it aside.

"We just wanna talk." "'Wanna talk,' that's what they all say! And before you know it, you're being taken away from your family and into their rebellion, where they soon strip to reveal their true form, and you realize your feelings have been toyed with this whole time! Then you spend the rest of your youth performing slavery labor under vile conditions that are hazardous to your health, fed only one bowl of gruel a day! A world where friendships were torn apart for survival, and nobody loves you there! I have lost one family, and I'm not gonna let you ruin this one!"

Jimmy and Nick hesitated for a moment. It sounded as though Mitzi explained her whole background story.

"What's with this silence?! Speak now!" Mitzi demanded. "Look; I'm sorry what happened to you, and your family, but you need to stop acting like a bitch." Replied Nick. "'Cuse me, demon?" "Ever since we first arrived, you've shown absolutely nothing but disgust towards us, regardless of how nice we've been! You even began to take your anger out on your current family!" "Hey! I apologized, didn't I? And I don't care if you have halos floating above your heads! I will not be suckered into another demon's false kindness!" "For the last time, we are not demons! We just wanna go home! I wanna take a hot bath! I wanna binge watch on CageFlix while laying in bed! I wanna blow my allowance on convenient store snacks with high calories! I DON'T wanna sacrifice some stranger's life to a cult! I know you've dealt with some horrible people, or whatever they were, in the past. We're not them! We want to see our families as well! Would it kill you to at least learn to know us better, instead of constantly judging us?! You might not make any new friends with this attitude!"

Jimmy was paralyzed by Nick's words. Not because they sounded empowering, but the way he summed up Mitzi, it reminded him of someone: Himself. Jimmy's always making enemies. He's only eleven years old, yet he managed to mold himself the biggest rouge's gallery more than any existing hero ever had. Like Mitzi, he has also been suckered by his own villain's schemes occasionally. This has developed some trust issues with the boy genius. If a villain were to say they wanted to redeem themself, or he met with a person who looked slightly sinister, he feels that someone isn't worth trusting. However, Tee turned out to be redeemed, even though Jimmy protested at first. Maybe he should start acting like a real genius and look into his facts. After all, he learned to trust Nick after he opened up to him.

Mitzi tried to think of a good response to Nick's lecture, but she just couldn't find the right words. She didn't know what to say, yet she won't accept that she's been defeated. Despite how angry her expression looked, she spoke in a calm tone,

"I have to go to work."

Nick turned to Jimmy, thinking he'd know how to reply to that. The boy genius only shrugged. They might as well just let her go. After having approval from Nick, Jimmy stepped out of the way to let her through. After Mitzi reached the door and opened it, she shot Jimmy and Nick one last glare for the day. When she exited the shed, she slammed the door behind her. Jimmy was worried she might try to vandalize their time machine again, but then Nick let him know that he hid it somewhere she can't find it. The two boys took their lantern, and their leave. As they walked back to the barn, Jimmy still thought about what Nick had told Mitzi earlier. The taller boy began to notice his friend's concerned look.

"You alright there, Jim?" "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm okay. I was still thinking about... ...persuading the king." "Persuading the king?" "Yeah. We talked about it the other night, remember?" "Yes, I remember. I still think we're walking on thin ice here. We're talking man of the hour, the one who owns a whole world surrounded by these four walls." "Psychology, Nick. Psychology." "How do we get to him? Walking into a domain of a powerful authority figure sounds pretty difficult, if you look at it my way." "Sneaking into the king's jewel mine didn't seem like a problem to you." "I know, but we're facing the king up close, and who knows how many guards he owns?" "Will you stop worrying, okay? You have to trust me on this. It takes an IQ of 215 to butter up even the most stubborn-est fascists. Our new friends, minus Mitzi, have done so much for us, I think we oughta pay them back." "Yeah, you have a good point. I'm still a little doubtful, however." "If it makes you feel any safer, we'll take Diana along with us." "Bringing along a 6'3 lady with a well-built body that puts Jet Fusion's biceps to shame sorta makes me feel a little safer. But you know what will make me feel safest?" "Being armed?" "Staying right by your side."

Jimmy grinned at Nick. If this mission will cost them their lives, Nick would rather die next to his best friend than to die alone. It fills the boy genius's heart with warm passion. Wait, why do I even feel this type of passion? ...to a boy? The two headed into their barn. They were still a bit drowsy from waking up so early, around 4:00 am, waiting for Mitzi. They didn't know what time she left for work at. Nick put out the lantern while Jimmy got cozy in his hay bed. Nick did the same after he was done. They soon closed their eyes and drifted off. Their rest was then put to an end by the rooster's cry. Nick got pissed.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, I'm gonna pluck you, bread you, and dip you into piping hot oil!"

...........................

After everyone finished their breakfast, which Nick prepared himself, Jimmy went over the "Persuade King Jason Proposal" with Diana.

"You wanna call a meeting? With King Jason?!" Asked Diana. "Yes, precisely." Replied Jimmy. "Absolutely not! You haven't yet met with this sir! Frankly, I haven't either, but you know what this man can do! No wait... You know what this man can pay his men to do! Any mere peasant who is't dares to file a complaint to the king, shall--" "...be hanged. Yes. We got the message. Like 1,000 times. We know. The dude's got a hanging fetish." Said Nick. "And it's not 'filing a complaint,' it's a work of mindset. Otherwise known as psychology. For example, monkeys are easily influenced by positive reinforcement. These primates are as disobedient as they come, but you can charm them with the giving of a banana. And since human and monkey DNA only differ by two percent, I could definitely pull the same principle on some dumb king." Said Jimmy. "Hmmm. Not bad. Sounds very intriguing! That could work!" "Of course it will! That's science-" "Oooooooohhh, I almost forgot. We have no bananas, and bananas won't be shipped to the village until next Tuesday. I wonder how he feels about pears." "It's not about the bananas. It's about the principle!" "Oh. That. Wellllll, I still protest! Something tells me that getting King Jason to talk seems very testing! The man is a stone cold tyrant!" "Is there any laws against inducing the king?" "No? At least not yet." "Has anybody ever talked to him? Other than his own royal subjects?" "I don't know. Nobody knows what happens behind those closed doors." "Then we might have a shot in this!" "I still object! It's far too dangerous up in that kingdom, and I won't let you! Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever succeeded in overthrowing the king, and is ever heard from again! As your guardian/landlord/best friend, I order you to stay put! You are not going to visit King Jason, and that's final! You hear me? You two are not- Ah, the heck with it already. You boys are just gonna continue being stubborn anyways. Not like I can just talk you out of this." "Sounds to me you need a lesson on psychology." Said Nick.

Diana then went to go fetch Nick his suit of armor, and his fake badge.

"Wait, what about me?" Asked Jimmy? "What about you?" Diana asked back. "Don't I get a disguise, too? Even if it's not a suit of armor, I'll take anything as long as I can blend in with the people. I may get a lot of stares out of this wardrobe." "Let me see what I have."

Diana looked around the hut to find something Jimmy could put on and it fits. If the boy genius walks out into the village wearing his modern civvies, he'll stand out like an alien to them. These are the type of clothes that almost got Jimmy and Nick burned at the stake. Diana eventually returned with a tiny wizard's uniform, in velvet rat, plus a hat.

"This was the only thing I could find in your size, Jimmy. It used to be Rodent Girl's Halloween costume from last year, but then shrank after Benson washed it." "How many of Rodent Girl's costumes do you keep?" Asked Nick.

Instead of complaining, Jimmy just accepted the costume, since it is his only option. Like Nick, he wore it over his clothes. It was very comfy, and it smelled like lavender. Nick envied him. Although the costume may look too small for him, he would like to make a trade.

"That costume also comes with a fake beard, if you like! Let me go grab it-" Said Diana. "Noooo, it's fine! And besides, we really should be leaving right now!" Replied Jimmy. "Ah, yes. Onward to destiny! We have a date with the king! And young man, may I ask you one more question before we head out?" "What is it?" "How do you make your hats fit?"

..............................

So Jimmy and Nick made it to the village, riding on Butterscotch's back. Jimmy sat front, while Nick was behind. Diana led the way. "Why hello, Albert!" Diana greeted a gentleman working behind a poultry stand, who had a wooden prosthetic arm. The man ducked under the counter and placed a "closed" note on top.

So, this was the village, Jimmy thought. The town had a historical aesthetic to it. It felt like walking into a Vincent Van Gogh masterpiece. This was suppose to be a horrible economy run under capitalism, but it gave off a pleasing atmosphere. It was so relaxing without any cars present, or the scent of their engine fumes. The architecture didn't look very ancient at all. Suddenly, a white rabbit, the same one from before, hopped in the way of their trail. The fluffy rodent startled Butterscotch, which caused him to kick his backside up in the air. Jimmy held on tight to the back of the horse's neck, but Nick launched off, and landed in a wheelbarrow of paint.

"My fabulous dazzlingly set of shiny paint! I hope you can pay for this, son!" Said the man, who had been dragging the wheelbarrow.

Nick got silver paint all over his armor, coating him completely. He tried to wipe it off, but it appeared to have dried so quickly. Nick looked up at the angry man. He ran back to Butterscotch, climbing onto his back and making a break for it. Diana just stood there, looking at the angry paint salesman.

"I don't know these children, I swear." Said Diana. "Hey! Hey, you two! Jimmy! Nick! Slow down and wait for me!"

..............................

22 minutes later, they entered the high class part of the village, which means they are getting closer to the kingdom. It was the same as the middle class, but much cleaner. There were so many dukes and duchess around. Everyone was neatly tailored and spotless. They were also all Caucasian and thin. Some men smoked pipes, while some women carried toy dogs. Whenever they'd catch a glance at Diana, Jimmy, and Nick, they would stuck their noses up in the air and then walk away. Suddenly, Nick started to feel superstitious.

"Jimmy, I think someone's following us." Said Nick. "The king's ruling classes?" Asked Jimmy, feeling a little worried. "No, just some little girl."

Jimmy looked back, but found no one there.

"You probably mislooked it as something else. I don't see any little girl." "But... You're probably right. After all, I did say 'I think' someone was following us. Not to sound corny, but it was probably just my imagination. We've been living in this hell hole for over a week, and now I may be loosing my mind." "Sometimes homesickness can have a huge impact on one's mental health. Don't worry, Nick. You'll be fine. Home is much closer than you think."

Little did Nick know, he wasn't seeing things. Someone was following them. But worry not. It isn't a foe.

Later, they finally found the castle. It wasn't easy to miss. Like every fairytale castle, it was surrounded by a moat, and the only way to get through is from the drawbridge, which is the opening to the castle. Nick was fascinated. Jimmy was more "meh." After all the supernatural stuff he's seen, a castle just doesn't bring him excitement. Abruptly, the four jumped behind some bushes as a couple of knights marched in an organized party, towards the castle. The drawbridge then slowly descended for them.

"Well, this is our stop. Diana, if we're not back within an hour, feel free to do.... ...what you do best." Said Jimmy. "Roger! And Godspeed to you boys!" Replied Diana, saluting the two. "Hurry, Nick. We have a bridge to catch!"

Jimmy and Nick sneaked into the party by blending in with the other knights. Jimmy hid underneath Nick's cape. As the bridge opened, everyone marched forward. The boys were able to make it inside without being suspected. None of the knights even questioned Nick's height difference. As the party continued to marched to their assigned duty, or wherever they're off to, Nick stopped in his tracks. Him and Jimmy were now alone in the main hallway.

"Okay Jimmy. We've made it."

The boy genius removed himself from under Nick's cape.

"Wow." Jimmy's voiced echoed throughout the empty room. "Okay, we've seen the king's castle. Let's go back now." Nick replied, who then tried to make an exit. "Nick! We can't! The door's already shut! And haven't you forgotten what we're here for?"

Jimmy offered Nick his hand. The tall boy became hesitant, and was blushing from the inside of his helmet. The boy genius wants to hold hands with him?

"C'mon. We've made it this far."

Nick then accepted the boy genius's offer, and let him take his hand into his. This gesture somewhat lessened Nick's fear. It reminded him how he had promised he'd do anything for Jimmy, no matter what the circumstances. His love for Jimmy helps boost his confidence. It's the same love that helped him pull through that quartz mission. Good thing the helmet came in use, because the boy genius doesn't notice Nick making a goofy, affectionate face behind it.

Hand-in-hand, the boys searched all around the castle together, opening any door that might lead them to the king, while dodging servants and royal guards. The first door they opened brought them to the kitchen, where the new cook was preparing a fowl that looked like it were still alive. The second door they opened was to a music room, although what the orchestra was practicing didn't sound like music to them. The third door was a showcase for art, full of more fantasy paintings and statues Jimmy and Nick wished they could've unseen.

"This place is huge, Nick. The king could be anywhere in this castle." "From what I've learned from all those stupid movies, kings usually sit on their butts all day in those big rooms with the stained glass windows. Do you know where that might be?" "I don't know. I've never been in a castle before. At least, not like this one. *Flashback to eight year-old Jimmy in a bouncy castle*"

Without being aware of their surroundings, they accidentally bumped into King Jason's chancellor, Richard.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing here?!" Asked Richard. "We- We're with the authority of the king!" Nick then pulled out his fake badge as proof. "If you were, I'd already know that by now! And you certainly wouldn't need to present your badge!"

The chancellor then seized the badge from Nick.

"THIS ISN'T EVEN A REAL BADGE!"

Richard took the paper badge and tore it up. Scared, Jimmy and Nick held onto each other in their arms.

"Now confess or see to the king! What are you really here for?!"

Nick responded with,

"We're banana salesmen."

...........................

Richard dragged Jimmy and Nick into the main throne room. They got what they wanted. There was King Jason, in the flesh.

"Sire! I caught these two spies wandering around your domain, posing as your authorities!" Said Richard. "That's not true! We're only here to call an appointment with the king!" Replied Jimmy. "Nobody is allowed to see the king unless on his own term!"

The king was ready to blow his fuse. Not because of the spy matter, but because Richard brought it up in the middle of his reading time. Just then, when King Jason set his eyes on the new troublemakers, he was rather surprised, like he knew them from somewhere. He put on his monocle for a moment to get a better look at the boys. It can't be. I see it, and I don't believe it. Them? A long silence filled the room.

"Sire?" "Richard! Receiveth thy filthy mitts off of the lads!" "Huh?" "Did I stutter? NOW!"

Richard released the two young boys from his grip. He expected King Jason would be angry, but not at him. Now, the king can be very merciless, regardless of what age a person is, but what did he see in these "spies" that brought him into a change of heart? King Jason smiled widely. It was more of a forced smile then a modest one. Jimmy and Nick were left confused. They thought they'd have to suffer the consequences after what they've been caught doing. Instead, the king decided to just let them off the hook easily. But why?

"What can I do for you, gentlemen?"

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