#Super Bowl 15
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mccarthy is really patting himself on the back for being the most cringe fail speaker of the house elect since pre civil war times
#mf really took 15 rounds of votes to win and is celebrating like he won the fucking Super Bowl#us politics#speaker of the house#u.s. politics#kevin mccarthy
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I can’t believe even in my safe space of tumblr dot com I can’t escape football
#literally been avoiding it for years#to piss off my bf Lmaoo#only 15 mins once a year do I care abt the Super Bowl
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basketball really is that girl and the nhl wishes she could be her
#anyway can’t wait to get to work in an hour and spend at least 15 minutes talking about this trade w my favorite coworker#the way that i woke up at 5am after falling asleep so early last night and could not comprehend#also#everyone making funny tweets about how the nhl trade deadline sucks is so right#a#also super bowl who? phoenix doesn’t know her
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Source: beth_thefirstyear on Instagram
I have four muffin tips for making bakery style muffins at home.
Tip number one:
Rest your batter for 15 minutes in your mixing bowl after you make it. This is gonna allow the starch molecules to swell and absorb, creating the thicker batter and the thicker batter is known for doming!
Tip number two:
Fill your muffin holes with at least six to eight tablespoons of batter. That’s like a heaping half cup okay. You want them super full so they’re gonna create that dome.
Tip number three:
Kinda goes along with tip number two. You’re only gonna fill every other hole in your muffin pan. And why we do that - that’s so the muffins that are baking can spread and dome without running into their neighbors. Because when they run into their neighbors they get like square edges but we want perfect dome circles.
Tip number four:
You’re to bake your muffins at a high temperature initially. That’s gonna be 425*F for the first seven minutes. And then keep them in the oven and lower the temperature to 350*F for the remaining bake time. Starting the muffins off at a high temperature initially allows the muffins to rise rapidly and it sets the outer surface of the muffin, producing a dome shape.
There you have it. My four muffin tips for creating bakery style muffins.
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ok so thats why its called mary jane. yeah ok nevermind then.
#also i found out what it costs and. wow.#idk because store ramen is super cheap i kinda assumed proper ramen would also be kinda on the cheaper side.#but i checked other ramen places in the area and theyre all more or less $15+. which isnt like outrageous its pretty reasonable if you thin#about it.#idk depending on how big the bowl is and how much of the ingredience you get. judging by the egg on that mary jane though the bowl is prett#big. so being almost 20 dollarks. might be reasonable#anyway i was gonna maybe go tonight. before groceries.#but its the end of the month and idk if can spend nineteen dollars on something (niku udon at this point) i cant be sure ill eat
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NFL Week 15 Delivers Crucial Playoff Implications and Statement Games
The NFL regular season has entered its most pivotal stretch, with Week 15 delivering landscape-shifting results around the playoff picture and unlikely heroes seizing opportunities. Staley Out as Chargers Coach After Embarrassing Primetime Loss In Thursday night’s marquee matchup, the Los Angeles Chargers suffered a crushing defeat that claimed a major casualty the following day. Hosting…
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#49ers#afc south#brandon staley#buccaneers#football#jaguars#lamar jackson#nfc west#nfl#raiders#ravens#super bowl contenders#trevor lawrence#week 15
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Once again I managed to get my homework done way faster than I thought so I'm like "what do I do now"
#i completely understand why i had so many issues with eleventy on tuesday. for one thing i'd never encountered a .md file before#and second i was about to get my period and third i was hungry and fourth i was emotional#like i Get why my site had me in tears lol. it IS kind of uninituitive#but today... idk. something clicked. part of it was realising that git was ignoring a few of my files that it shouldn't have been ignoring#(thankfully that was an easy fix) and another big part was realising that the default layout document is so detailed that i can basically#just create a new file and as long as it's in the correct place & i copy the exact syntax in the front matter of any similar files#(i.e. if i'm making a new blog post i need to make sure the front matter is the same as in the previous blog posts#and if i'm adding a new post to be linked in the header i need to add the order: 4 or order: 5 or whatever)#like i Can style things individually if i want but i literally don't have to lol#so i finished my first assignment within about 15 minutes. 2 and a half weeks i've been avoiding doing that. yep#i really needed all that time to get into the correct headspace though. like genuinely#so then i did a little work on my other 2 assignments. coded up a super basic form & added bootstrap in the base layout#now i really just need to style my form; figure out why my images don't work (lol); add some bootstrap components#and probably screenshot my commit history. oh my god and finish my laundry!!! how long was it beeping without me noticing 😭#gotta also figure out why mabel is staring at me. idgi. she's usually napping at this time of day#she's been fed; she has a full water bowl; we went to the park where she pooped; and i've been letting her out like every half hour to pee#she gets sooo much fuss and attention too. like girl what IS it#i'm not leaving the back door open all fucking day. it is literally 5 degrees outside. gotta love october#personal
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How did you get pet doves? And are they easy to take care of / what do you need to keep them happy and well?
They are, IMO, the easiest birds to care for. I got them as rescues--I used to regularly volunteer at an avian wildlife rehab that would sometimes wind up with pet birds that needed rescuing. (Arson's originally from an animal hoarding situation, so I have no idea how old she is.) They are, specifically, ringneck (also called barbary) doves, which are a domesticated species. They do look a lot like their wild counterparts, but they've been living alongside humans for thousands of years, which makes them far happier in captivity than most 'pet' birds, like parrots. If you're really looking for some, they often wind up needing adoption because a single mated pair produces offspring very, very quickly without human intervention.
Ringnecks are granivores, so their diet is just pigeon-mix birdseed, a bit of oyster shell grit (mine have been going through the same 15 lb bag of grit from the feed store for five years now) and water. Sometimes they'll take a bit of fresh greens or bugs when they come across them, but it's not a necessary part of their diet. Like pigeons, they have weak beaks and feet, so they're not destructive to furniture and supplies. Unlike pigeons, ringnecks are not super social--they mate monogamously and for life, and will get territorial with other ringnecks. As a consequence, Arson and Larceny, as a mated pair, are very happy with little effort on my part. They need enough room to fly and nest and they're quite content to keep each other occupied. A single ringneck may bond with their human caretaker as their human 'mate' and will be a lot more social as a result. I chose to have a mated pair because I'm super busy, and I like knowing that their social needs are fulfilled even when I'm short on free time. Like the cats, I can set them up with a deep bowl of food and a big container of fresh water and safely leave them alone for a weekend.
In terms of space, they need a relatively large cage--three feet in each direction is the minimum, and they enjoy more room when possible. They're very docile--I can just grab em off the branch like ripe pears--and their vocalizations are generally pleasant, in the same vocal range as a mourning dove, though their songs are different. They can be trained to do simple tricks and generally are enjoyable to be around.
Their lifespans range quite a bit! The oldest one I've ever met was 32. Arson and Larceny hold title as the oldest pets I have (they're eight, at least) and still going strong. Twelve years is pretty average for them.
I do think they're great pets, and if you want a bird, they're a fantastic choice.
#they do NOT home and they CANNOT be safely allowed to free fly so you do need enclosed spaces if you want them to be outside#and they need to be predator proof#theyre a bit smaller than pigeons and a good bit dumber bless em
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Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon Recipe masterlist - part 1
(project started in July 2023 and ongoing! I'll continue updating as the recipes are posted — all recipes so far were created before they appeared in the anime) part 2
Recipe 1 - Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot
comparison pics / process video / video and recipe commentary
- full list continued after the jump -
Recipe 2 - Man Eating Plant Tart
gelatin hell process 1 + process 2 / failed tart process video / comparison pics of redo / redo video with quiche
Recipe 3 - Roast Basilisk
brining / kfc super shy meme / oven setup and finished bird / planning for recipe 4 / process video
Recipe 4 - Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet (Omelette)
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 5 - Mandrake Kakiage and Giant Bat Tempura
Planning for recipe 5 and 6 / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 6 - Living Armor Soup
comparison pics and commentary on process / process video
Recipe 7 - Golem Field Fresh Veggie Lunch
planning for 7 and 8 / cooking research / process video / comparison pics
Recipe 8 - Freshly Stolen Vegetables and Chicken Stewed with Cabbage Accompanied by Plundered Bread
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 9 - Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks
planning 1 + planning 2 / coinbug carving process 1 + process 2 / gem making test / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 10 - Special Interfaith Holy Water and Exorcism Sorbet
planning / process / process video / comparison pics / second comparison with anime
Recipe 11 - Court Cuisine: Full Course Meal
planning 1 + planning 2 / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 12 - Boiled Mimic and Kelpie Oil Soap
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 13 - Porridge made from Grain that was just Lying Around
comparison pics and thoughts / process video
Recipe 14 - Giant Parasite from a Giant Kraken Grilled Plain and Kabayaki-Style
eel defrosting / comparison pics and process / process video
Recipe 15 - Farcille Raspberry Tart
planning for tart / ganache process / final pictures / process video
Recipe 16 - Grilled Kelpie
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 17 - Tentacles with Vinegar + Tentacle and Kelpie stew, prepared with Undine
planning / comparison pics / process video / (fullmetal alchemist stew meme)
BONUS - All the DunMeshi meals so far edit
Recipe 18 - Tentacle Gnocchi
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 19 - “Let’s Cutlet the Red Dragon”
original katsudon attempt from 2023 / katsu excitement / comparison pics / process video / anime comparison
Recipe 20 - Red Dragon Meal
planning 1 / planning 2 / oxtail broth update / pickled daikon recipe / comparison pics / process video: part 1 and part 2 / recipe post
Recipe 21 - Lost Red Dragon "Ham" + Orc Medicine Toast
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 22 - Travel Rations Set for Adventurers
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 23 - Jack-o'-Lantern Potage and Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese
planning / pumpkin bowl face / comparison pics / process video / blooper reel
BONUS - (dunmeshi zine chef contributor announcement!!!)
Recipe 24 - Eisbein-Style Cockatrice and Dryad Bud Sauerkraut
planning / sauerkraut poll / comparison pics / process video
BONUS - DunMeshi tiktok milestones!
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A Lovely Night
summary: You meet Joe for the first time at the movies. Set during the off season of 2024 after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl against the 49ers.
paring: Joe Burrow x shy anxious reader
warnings: fluff, anxious thoughts, social anxiety.
words: 1,502
a/n: sat down and cranked this out all at once. I don't know if I like it. Eyes hurt from proofreading multiple times so apologies if I missed something. For now this the only part. But it could have potential to be multiple parts depending if people like it or not? Maybe? Happy reading y'all!
Solo movie dates had become your thing, but it hadn't always been this way. There had been a time when you had struggled to leave the house for work. Sometimes those days still happened, but for the most part, you were proud of yourself for your newfound sense of freedom. It had taken a lot to get to this point. Watching movies and acting out movies with your friends had always been one of your favorite things to do growing up. As an adult, Saturday Night became a designated 'movie night' as a way to de-stress from the week. Whether it was at home, or at the cinema, depended on what was playing.
The one positive about Covid had been the shift to being able to get tickets online and pick your seat ahead of time so you could get your snacks, and head to your seat to look at your phone without anyone bothering you until the movie started. Or so you thought.
The first time you had seen the handsome tall man was in March during a showing of Dune: Part 2. He'd shown up with two other men after the lights dimmed for the preview trailers and you hated when people showed up late. It was pet peeve as yours, your anxiety often caused you to arrive at least 15 minutes early anywhere you went.
You tried your best to not watch the group as they made their way to their seats, which was in the same row as yours, but a few seats away. You caught glimpses of their faces, the tall one putting his hand up in apology before he sat down. You gave a polite smile before you looked away. Giving a small annoyed huff through your nose, you decided to take a small handful of popcorn and focus on the trailers until the movie started.
You had mentally prepared for the 2 hour and 46 minute run time of the movie, but as the credits rolled and you looked at your watch, you were shocked to see how much time had gone by already. You had been gripped by the movie from start to finish and as you stretched, you noticed the three men were gone which confused you. You hadn't noticed them leave. Did they leave early? Why did they come see Dune if they didn't like Sci-Fi? You brushed it from your mind, figuring you'd never see them again. Especially not the tall one.
The next time you went on a solo date to the movies was only a month later in April. Bill Skarsgård was one of your favorite actors and the movie also happened to release near your birthday so you had decided to see it. Yes you were spending your birthday weekend alone but at this point in your life, you had gotten used to it. You were planning on being a spinster for the rest of your life.
As you made your way to your seat, you had to go by a guy who had his hood up. Thankfully the aisle was large enough where you didn't have to get too close to him, but he was man spreading and had his phone in front of his face. You were more focused on not hitting his foot then tripping and spilling your popcorn everywhere. "G6...G6..."
You had been repeating your seat number quietly to yourself once you had to put your phone in your pocket to carry your drink and popcorn. You always got the same seat in the very back if you could, it was easier to remember. The last thing you wanted to do was sit in someone's spot and embarrass yourself. Little did you know, the man was grinnng as he heard you.
Once you were sitting and set your popcorn bucket carefully on your lap, you triple checked you were in the right seat on the app and breathed a sigh of relief as you get comfortable.
"You okay over there?" You heard a voice to your right.
You looked over, your cheeks turning pink. He looked familiar.....
Then it hit you that it was the same guy who had arrived during the trailers last month when you had gone to the movies to see Dune Part 2. But his friends weren't with him this time.
"Oh, yes." You smiled at the man, meeting his eyes before quickly looking down and away and back at your phone. Great, now he was going to think you are crazy. You glanced over at him to see him looking at his phone. Then you looked around the theatre. There wasn't many people here yet. He was early for once.
"A-are you excited for the movie?" Your heart was pounding as you tried to make small talk. Had he even heard you? It was a bad habit of yours to mumble when you were nervous.
He set his phone down when he heard you and looked over at you. "Ehhh not excited, but it's something to do, gets me out of the house." He smiled at you. You were struck by his smile, his teeth were so white. Suddenly you were self conscious of your smile. "You?"
It took a second for you to process that he was keeping the conversation going. "Me? Oh a little bit. I'm a Skarsgård fan, I promise I won't giggle too much. I just find him an excellent actor. I'm just doing something fun for my birthday." It had slipped out before you knew it. The last thing you wanted was sympathy. What was so bad about spending time alone? Nothing, you thought.
Your heart sank as you noticed the frown appear almost instantly on his face. "You are spending your birthday alone? Your friends aren't taking you out? That's no good. Well happy birthday." He smiled again, and you felt your cheeks get warm.
"Thank you. My birthday isn't today but it is the birthday weekend, as they say. I don't have many friends here besides my co workers." You weren't even sure if you could count co workers as friends as you were strict about keeping work separate from your personal life. "I haven't been in Cincinnati long."
His eyebrows raised slightly. "Oh really? Where did you move from?"
"Boston." Should you be telling a stranger this? Probably should have said a different city.
"Ahh beantown." he grinned and you wanted to roll your eyes.
"Yes, but locals don't call it that." But you'd like it slide, he was cute.
"Oh I'm sorry. I'm Joe by the way. He was only a few seats away from you and reached over to extend his hand out so you could shake it. You moved your popcorn off your lap to the free seat next to you so you could reach out and shake his hand back. His grip wasn't too strong which you appreciated it, but it was still strong, he was respectful.
"I'm-" The lights dimmed and that quieted you before you could introduce yourself. The first trailer started quickly and you and Joe settled into your seats to watch the screen. But a dim light to your right caught your attention as you saw Joe texting. It was a thing that often happened during movies now, which ground your gears. But Joe didn't text long thankfully and you saw him putting his phone in his pocket out of the corner of your eye.
The lights brightened in the theatre as the movie was over and Joe looked over at you. "What did you think?" He asked as he stood up. It was then you realized how tall he was. You were quite short compared to him.
"It was funnier than I expected it to be for a revenge movie." You said as you got up and gathered your things. It was late and you wanted to get home to eat the cupcake you had bought yourself as a birthday treat.
"I felt the same, not sure how well it will do at the box office though."
You couldn't help but smile, it was refreshing meeting someone who also also appeared to have a deep passion for movies.
Joe walked side by side with you out of the theatre and into the evening air. "I'm meeting my friends Tee and Ja'Marr for dinner, you can come if you like so you aren't spending your birthday alone. Just throwing it out there. I can give you the directions to the place. They came with me when I first saw you at Dune 2."
He remembered! You were floored. Should you be creeped out? No you had made eye contact at Dune and you hadn't seen him again before tonight so he couldn't be stalking you.
You released a breath you hadn't realized you had been holding. You hadn't liked the thought of being in a strangers car so suddenly, you were relived that you could take your own car and escape when you wanted to. New friends couldn't hurt in this new city either. It was time to get even more out of your shell.
"Sure, I'd like that, thank you." You smiled before you handed your phone over so he could find it on the maps app for you.
...little did you know, he was also putting his number in your phone.
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Looking good as always! Patrick MVP!
#patrick mahomes#kansas city chiefs#nfl#quarterback#football#number 15#nfl mvp#chiefs#super bowl sunday#suit & tie
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~Edge the puppy~
Heyyy~ I'm super free for the night so I'll edge myself for 5 mins for ever note this gets! And more per milestone it hits
5 notes = edge again!
15 notes = I'll add a lewd picture!
30 notes = puppy will eat from a bowl all week~
40 notes = puppy will post lewd pictures ever other day for the week
50 notes = I get a flat cage or new slutty stuff to show you all =3
500 notes = I'll be open to sell any slutty picture or video people want >:3
I'm also happy to add anything else fun yous can think of!!
#trans#puppygirl#text#transgender#t4t nsft#trans nsft#nsft puppy#t4t#transfem#petpl4y#hornyposting#bottomposting
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ok. can we talk about going with ellie to the mall because i think it would be… interesting.
(fluff ‘n a little bit of smut so mdni! 🎀 also wrote this ages ago and it’s so bad so excuse me!!! and reader is v fem)
౨ৎ when it comes to ellie williams— i believe she will throughly let you walk her like a dog. quite literally following you around the shops hand in hand— to the point where you’re merely dragging her around. at first, she’d be super chill and relaxed, but one hour later after seeing you try on the same dress three times already— she’d start groaning on and on. “babe… do we really have to go fucking zara again?”, when you tell her that you just regret not buying a certain top, she’d be so adorably pissed off, her eyebrows all furrowed together, just thoroughly confused. she would probably want to stop and eat some food every 5 seconds. “zara… or mcdonalds” ,weighing the two options on her hands and clearly placing the mcdonalds option way higher.
౨ৎ if there’s an arcade— you know her ass is fully stopping in her tracks, begging you to come and play some games with her. obviously, you oblige, because she’s giving you the biggest and cutest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen, and maybe she’d stupidly jump up when you say yes. she ends up beating you in every single game— and it's so painfully obvious that she’s been there about 17 times already.
“ellie, you’re only winning because you’re here every single day. you’re like a totallll loser” you defend, after she’d been gloating about her winning streak for 5 minutes straight. unsurprisingly, she just denies it. 
“i swear— ive never been here before, babe”
“els, be honest” you warn.
“okay— been here like once with jesse”
“once?”
“once… plus like five” and at that— she turns around, and places her hand behind her back, so you can intertwine it with yours. she’s sooo beating you in bowling.
౨ৎ while you’re browsing through clothes — shed be hugging you from behind tightly, as she kisses on your neck and silently begs for your attention.
“this skirts super cute, right?” you chirp, pointing at the plaid mini skirt and slowly tracing the soft fabric with the pads of your fingers.
ellie has her chaste lips right on your pulse point, and she’s barely even looking.
you pick it up, and she moves closer behind you with her hands still clinging on to your waist. “cute, right?” — you can feel ellie’s smile slowly form on your neck.
“yeah, babe… you’re very cute. thought you knew that already, though”
౨ৎ when you pull out two pieces from the rack (amethyst purple & floral purple) and ask her which color will fit you better, she just rolls her eyes and huffs. “babe… you cannot be serious they're the exact same”, to you, they are NOT. but ellie fully doesn’t get it at all.
౨ৎ put her in a gamestop— and it’s like she won the lottery. browsing through the different controllers, now its your turn to tease and tell her they’re all the exact same. put her in a NINTENDO shop and its literally over. her eyes are twinkling and sparkling, and shes borderline skipping through the store trying to find cool figurines. when she sees a bowser plushie (her mariokart main, duh) she picks it out so fast, and then tries to find you a plushie too— a princess peach or a kirby or whatever you want. she goes to pay, and when you leave the store with your two adorable new plushies inside the bag— ellie fully side eyes you. she has something to say, and you know it. she sighs deeply— “think theyre fucking in there?”
“if they’re anything like us… theyre fucking in there— oh my god, babe… bowsers humping her ass, look” —
she’s literally moving them inside the bag.
౨ৎ okay, so you’re done paying at zara (with her credit card but let’s not… talk about it), ellie left about 15 minutes ago because she was tired of looking at the clothes and she said that place looks like a mental asylum. you’re walking out of the shop with the bags in your hands, and you see her sitting on one of the random mall couches with a random grey haired middle aged man. weirdly, they seem to be in the midst of an incredibly intense conversation. you twist your face because what the fuck and;
“waiting for the wife, huh?” she asks him, manspreading on the chair with her hands resting on her thighs. they’re both staring at the store’s entrance, both sighing heavily. “that i am…” the old man huffs, and ellie chuckles to herself. “me too man… me too”
౨ৎ five minutes later — you find them talking about fucking bathroom tiles.
“i told her i wasn’t going to do marble— but she fucking insisted on it”
you walk a little closer, and ellie is still heavily rambling about floor stuff (?) you have absolutely no clue about.
“els…? ready to go?” you chirp, smiling warmly at the stranger. “gimme a sec” ellie looks at you from the corner of her eye, and keeps going. they’re exchanging numbers because they need to start thinking about how to build a new patio, and he has some “awesome fucking tips, man”
౨ৎ ellie places her hand on your shoulder as you’re walking away, and squeezes. “he was such a cool dude” she remarks, with a stupidly dumb, satisfied smile.
“ellie… he was like, sixty five”
“so? we bonded, babe” she shrugs.
“about floor tiles?” you ask her, and she begins rubbing little circles on your shoulder as you both stray further away from the shop.
“amongst other things” ellie chews on the inside of her cheek. should she say it?
“what things?” you smile sheepishly at your girlfriend, who’s seemingly nervous for some reason.
“you know… his wife…” she bites her cheek even harder now. she should definitely not say it. “my wife” okay— there it is.
her wife.
ten whole seconds of absolute radio silence pass. ellie thinks she might have said too much, but ellie doesn’t know you’re fighting for your life trying to hold on to your tears that are threatening to erupt.
her wife.
“you’re proposing here then, i assume?” you’re trying not to sound emotional, trying not to sound like your hearts about to burst out of your chest and start doing cartwheels on the malls pavement.
“nah… definitely somewhere way classier. like… bora bora, or the food court”
“food court?”
ellie has to stop. ellie has to stop and hold your hand.
“yeah… so i can hide the ring inside your burger n’shit. then you like… choke on it, then i save you… then not only am i a fuckin’ hero, i also get to like… marry the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen. and she has to say yes—” there’s no point in swallowing down your toothy smile now. “cause like… i saved her life, y’know?” as much as ellie’s joking, ellie’s cheeks are burning up.
“will you… say yes, though?” she balances her weight from leg to leg, and averts her gaze. mmhm— what an interesting sign!
the way you place your hand on the back of her neck and kiss her hard— that’s definitely a yes.
ellie won’t propose to you in the food court, though. in fact, she has this elaborate plan she has been thinking since about a month into your relationship. that, you’ll never guess.
౨ৎ mall ellie is ALL pda. she doesn’t let go of your hand like ever and constantly needs little kisses on the cheek. she bought you a cute new top? kiss on the cheek. cute dress? kiss on the cheek and on the nose. she doesn’t want you to say your thank you’s, she’d much rather you show them.
౨ৎ when you’re at a lingerie shop… suddenly she comes fully alive. its literally as if someone infused her with seven shots of caffeine and she can’t seem to be able to stop handing you different bra’s, panties, and sexy little nightgowns.
“that’ll look so fucking hot on you” & hands you the sluttiest thong youve ever seen. “that— will drive me fucking crazy” & hands you a sheer bra she can imagine your nipples poking out of.
“wanna eat you out in that” as she hands you a little nightgown and you’re like “ELLIE!” and slap her arm her because a 60 year old woman literally just heard her and looked like she was about to have an aneurysm.
“actually— wanna eat you out in that… and in that too… and in that— oh my god look baby they’re crotchless” wiggling her eyebrows and swaying the fabric in the air.
౨ৎ obviously… she wants you to model them for her. it’s funny, how she didn’t give a fuck when you tried a cardigan on or a hat or saw a cute purse, but now she’s demanding to go inside the dressing room with you and stare you down in the mirror like a perv. she watches you strip out of your clothes and you purposely do it extra slowly, taking your time removing the bra… and now, she’s just leaping out of her sit.
“nope— doing that for you…” she unclasps it, stands behind you and immediately gropes your tits. she gives you sweet little kitten licks and kisses on the neck, whilst maintaining full eye contact with her hands on your boobs from the mirror, and you can’t help but whimper when she takes your hardening nipples between her fingers and rolls them in her thumb. “ellie… were in public” you hiss, bucking your ass onto her crotch.
“we’re not in public, were in a dressing room…” she whispers, like she knows best.
“plus, i gotta test these little panties out… s’for you, y’know?”
ellie makes you sit on her lap to watch it up close, until she’s fully satisfied and is sure that they fit just right, and that she can see herself peeling them off of you. “give me a little wiggle, babe”, she rasps, as her hands roam over your naked waist.
“a wiggle?” you giggle, and burry your face in the crook of her neck.
“like… grind yourself up against me. gotta test the fabric, make sure you’re… comfortable” and— of course you do. you grind yourself up against her thigh until you forget what you even came to the mall for.
ellie’s eyes are fixated on you, taking in your little silent whimpers as you “test the panties” out.
“think… fuck— think we gotta buy them now… soaked ‘em all up, huh?” ellie pants, as she helps you grind your body back and forth. when ellie looks down on her thigh, truly just to watch how your pussy lips swallow the drenched material, ellie comes to an extra conclusion as well. there’s a sticky wet patch, almost heart shaped, over her denim jeans.
“shit… babe, look at that mess…”, she holds you by the back of your neck, and guides your head down. “mhm… gotta buy me some new jeans” your breath cages inside your throat as you begin to stutter, “sorry, el… didn’t mean to”
“oh fuck no… it’s… shit— so fuckin’ hot”
anyways, mall ellie is a menace.
#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you
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Hi, my dog is really sick and he has a huge tumor, I’m going to have to put him down soon and it really sucks, your writing makes life a bit better though so thank you for that! Could I possibly request a Vox x reader with a pet dog? Like how would the two of them interact or would he claim himself as the dogs parent or stuff like that. You don’t have to of course! Please remember to take breaks
Vox X Reader [Comfort]
In which you take in a dog you found on the street without asking Vox beforehand.
Vox isn't necessarily minimalist, but he is certainly a bit of a neat freak
Things should be organized, clean, not perfect! But not messy
So, animals were never his thing
I mean, the hair, the training, the scratchy nails on the floor, it just sounds like a huge hassle
Besides, he is already busy enough with the company and you, a pet would just be another thing on the list
You, on the other hand, love caring for sick animals
You've brought a smaller creature home before for the evening or taken it to a vet, but nothing for longer than a few hours
But this time was different
The dog was so messy you couldn't even tell the breed, all you knew was that someone had hurt it and it wouldn't last long on its own
So you snuck the puppy into your jacket and headed straight home
Vox comes home to the shower running and you giggling, and he's already worried about whatever strange thing you're onto this time
He sees you, splashed in soap and water, and a dog with muddied water dripping off it into the drain
And it barks at him
And he screams
Right. He is super scared of dogs and hellhounds
Not in a 'these things are scary' way, but in a 'these things are unpredictable and gross and ew.'
When you finish washing the dog and drying it the best you could in a swaddled towel, you'll find him pacing and murmuring
He is frustrated you brought that THING home without asking, but he also wont suggest you abandon it because he knows you won't
Gets a servant to grab some necessities for the dog, because lord knows you didn't plan this out
Just for a few days, right?
Except, a few days turns into a few weeks and into a few months
And slowly your tiny puppy grows into a 100-pound pride dobermann, known for being some of hells largest and most vicious dogs
Despite his size, Vox has already adopted the thing into his life, he stopped asking when you were going to give up the dog on day 15,
Part of the reason he loves it is because of how dangerous the dog looks, as sweet as it actually is, it's very protective of you and he likes that
Originally does not let you out on your own, but now its 'you can go if the dogs with you' because by good fuck that thing could kill a crowd
Expect him to dip into the pet market of devices; tracking collar, pet surveillance, automatic feeding bowls, etc...
All inspired by his want to give your dog a luxurious life
Probably got a custom collar with glowing blue spikes so he and the pup match
Would actually take a few days off work and sit in an armchair with his hands on his head if the dog ever had an emergency trip to the vet
Author's Note - I saw your second ask, and its totally cool you sent this! Honestly, I always wanted to open emergency requests. Theres no shame in looking for comfort, I can't imagine your pain right no. I hope this helps in any way!
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#vox#vox x reader
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Lloyd garmadon hcs (romantic & reg hcs)
A/N: This is first post on here 😭 I’m super into ninjago right now so I might as well write abt it. And Lloyd is super pookie bear 🫶
Romantic:
-When you guys first start dating, Lloyd is a bit awkward since A. He’s never been in a legitimate relationship before and B. He has insane trauma from Harumi.
-But over time, he’ll start to warm up to you! You just gotta be patient with him.
-Loves to read comics with you, it’s such a guilty pleasure (and he’s a big nerd.)
-When he’s with you, he’s always holding your hand or resting his hand on your lower back. He’s protective in a casual way rather than a possessive way, yk?
-Very prone to venting to you.
-Every once in awhile, he takes you out in ninjago city for a date on a rooftop of a building. It’s not the best place for a date but he’s not much of a romantic. But he does try for you!
-Always takes care of you when you’re sick. He makes soup and tea for you, and sits by your side, holding your hand while talking about whatever.
-He’s such a cuddle bug!! He loves laying on your chest while you tangle your fingers in his hair. And vice versa.
-Loves to kiss you on your face, esp your cheek and your nose. Seeing your face get all blushy after he surprises you with a kiss really makes him happy.
-Feels a little self conscious around you about certain things, like his dad, his oni form, or the idea of being a master since those things bother him deeply. But a little reassurance and kind words from you will help his self esteem a ton.
-He likes it when you braid his hair or play with it in any way.
-If you’re up to it, lloyd loves training with you. He’ll go easy on you considering he doesn’t want to hurt you, but if he does he feels so bad 😭
-When you two are together, Kai will do EVERYTHING in his willpower to embarrass Lloyd for funsies.
-One time, he totally showed you a picture of when Lloyd was little and he had that atrocious bowl cut. Let’s just say Kai was locked out of the monastery for a good 3 days 😁
-Doesn’t use many nicknames but does like to use a shortened ver of your name, to keep it simple. But he doesn’t mind calling you “gorgeous” or “beautiful” once in awhile, since to him you definitely are.
-Misako and Wu would definitely love you immediately after Lloyd introduces you (more so misako), no questions asked.
-Garmadon though? It depends. If you get to know him a bit better, then he’ll probably warm up to you. He’s just a bit weary because of his trust issues.
-Kinda same with the Ninja honestly, but they’ll warm up to you super quick when they see how you treat lloyd and how happy you make him. They just want the best for him is all.
General:
-Lloyd really values his hair, like a ton. He takes super good care of it. And I really like to think after the events of crystalized, he started to actually grow his hair out.
-And by the time of dragons rising, his hair is all the way down to his lower back (he puts it in a low ponytail most of the time for combat reasons.)
-He’s both Japanese and Chinese!
-Demiromantic/sexual and omnisexual!!
-Looked up to Nya as a mother figure when he was little, and still does. He loves misako so very much, but resents her deep down.
-Has a little stubble in DR, kinda canon but whatevs.
-Has a pretty good singing voice, but only really does it in private.
-Outside of his Gi, the clothes he usually wears is just a jacket, a t-shirt and jeans 😭 he has like 15 jackets in his closet (he’s just like me fr)
-Has scars like all over his body, and some on his face from like the millions of battles he’s been in.
-He’s a little chubby, but has pretty muscular arms (🤭)
-Lloyd has like small non-human features that nod to the fact that he’s half oni and dragon.
-Like pointy ears, sharp teeth, and slitted pupils.
-Still has an adoration for candy.
-Every once in awhile, he still heads to Ninjago Doomsday Comix to buy a new issue of a comic he likes.
-He would probably enjoy music like Radiohead or some other sad stereotypical man music.
A/N: I can’t think of much else but I hope you guys enjoyed these!! I’ll write at my own pace for a little bit and then I’ll open requests. I gotta make a carrd sometime soon lmfao 😭
( @weirdotaku1000 these are the hcs I was working on!!)
#y’all have no clue how much excited I am rn 😭#I’ve had this blog for like 2 years and haven’t posted a damn thing other than the intro which was 10 MONTHS AGO#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon x reader#lego ninjago#ninjago#lego ninjago x reader#ninjago x reader
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