#Sunny has Janus' Yellow

[the-ultimate-nobody]

QSMP but Sanders Sides

Version 1 (What would happen): Thomas gets to be the Egg and the Sides have to take care of him

Version 2 (What would be more funny): All the Sides gets to be the Egg and Thomas, alone, has to take care of them. Reminder, there are 6 of them.

Version 2: What clothes each Side would take. Focusing on the clothes rather than their assigned color since in QSMP, the Egg Children use colored signs to talk so the color assignment is already complete

Patton: Grey sweater Logan: Tie (But it just sticks in the front, it doesn't wrap around him) Roman + Remus: Their sashes (respectively, red and green) Virgil: His purple hoodie Janus: Bowler hat (Bonus) Thomas: Either a yellow star or the Steven Universe shirt that he has stolen

[elliehase-blog]

“Patton, this is a very bad idea.”

“It’s alright, I can take the truth.”

As the gloves glide slowly over Janus’s skin, every finger and scale revealed, he suddenly feels something again. He feels seen and seen through and naked, and it is the best and the most frightening experience in a long time.

“See. Much better this way,” Patton says softly, his breath vibrating beneath Janus’s cheek. “Now, you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

The pathological lie is already on the tip of his tongue, ready to deny. But without his gloves Janus can’t spit it out. He just can’t.

And then there’s Patton.

He of all people.

Patton, who is as different from Janus in every way as one can be. Patton, who is loud and honest, and sunny and kind, who makes stupid dad-jokes and likes frogs. Patton, who has not the slightest idea what he is getting himself into when he takes off the yellow gloves. Patton, who is warm and firm and real under his fingertips. More than anything else, he is real. Not a lie.

Janus shakes his head, lips tingling and heart pounding. He is sure that Patton can feel the frantically vibrating heartbeat against his chest. Everything in Janus’s traitorous body yells at him that this moment might be the most important moment in his life. There’s no way to deny it. Not anymore.

“Patton, I…”

[bothcreativitybois]

Star Wars AU Chapter 1

Here’s the first little chunk of a Sanders Sides Star Wars AU I’ve been planning for a while now. I hope y’all like it.

Word count: 1477

TW: Violence, kinda unsympathetic Janus and Logan

No shipping, purely platonic

Taglist (please ask if you wish to be added): @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper

Droids were littered around the dimly lit atrium, the only real light coming from the blade of Virgil’s lightsaber. He panted as the demeaning figure stared at him from above. Judging. Without a single movement the figure spoke, the hood hiding his face. 

“Impressive, young Virgil.” The sith lord announced. “Your wielding continues to impress and your lightning strikes true.” Virgil retracted the energy of his lightsaber and dropped to a kneel.

“Thank you, Lord Deceit.” Virgil praised. However his master was not done.

“But your movements continue to be stiff and your focus is erratic. In a real fight this could be the end.” The lord scorned. Virgil cringed at the usual remarks. No matter how hard he worked he just could not fix these same problems.

“If I may, master?” Virgil began. Lord Deceit waved a hand to let him proceed. “I think it is because I only ever fight droids. I learned from them. They’re too predictable and my moves have gotten rehearsed.”

“What are you trying to say, young one?” The lord chastised. Virgil grit his teeth. For a long time he had been trying for an opportunity to leave the station again, even for a day, perhaps this would be his chance.

“Maybe if I had a chance for a real fight, a real opponent, I could learn.” Virgil looked up pleadingly at Lord Deceit. The sith lord stood, he put his hands behind him. He turned and took a few steps down the stairs that lead to his throne. Virgil felt isolated in the wide empty room, the large windows leading out to black void of space only amplified this.

“You wish for a chance to prove yourself?” The lord hummed. Virgil nodded. “Do you not remember what happened the last time I gave you an opportunity for just that? Do you not remember how you failed me?” Virgil bit his lip. He was well aware, the hum of the cybernetics attached to his throat served as a great reminder.

“You better not. You have already failed once.” Lord Deceit reminded. “As much as I care for you Virgil, I may not be able to give you another chance.”

“Master, you have trained me well. I have learned from that mistake and believe I have learned all I can from simulations and training droids.” Virgil pressed. It was true, he could predict their patterns. He knew that they would not harm him so he had no fear fighting them. Lord Deceit laughed, his deep voice booming like an explosion.

“You do not wish for training, you thirst for adventure. I can feel it.” The sith lord’s delight could be heard in his tone. “I remember that feeling well.” Lord Deceit thought back fondly, but kept his face stern. Virgil felt so close, he could taste it. The chance to prove himself, the chance to see what was beyond the steel walls that filled every memory. A chance to look out a window and not see the darkness of space.

“I will only do as you wish, master.” Virgil threw out as a last hope. The lord reached the last steps and strode over to his apprentice. As the light flooded under his hood Virgil could see the jagged scars littering half his face giving the appearance of scales. His yellow eyes were unreadable. Virgil stood to meet him but still had to look up to see his face.

“As fate would have it an opportunity has arisen that might just provide what you want, young Virgil.” Lord Deceit began. Virgil’s eyes lit up. “I have sensed a powerful anomaly in the force. A young child with more raw power with the force than I have ever seen. If I have felt this then it is certain the Jedi have too. We must get to this child before they do. I planned to send a squadron of droids but perhaps a one man approach would be better suited.” Virgil paused to take it in. A mission? Alone?

“I will bring the child back for you, master.” Virgil put a hand over his chest and bowed his head.

“If you manage to do such, you will no longer be my apprentice. Your training will be complete.” Lord Deceit announced. Virgil could not believe it. He would be a sith warrior.

“Thank you, master! I will not disappoint!” Virgil vowed. The sith lord turned and began to stride away.

A jedi apprentice skipped down the halls, closely followed by a jedi master. The sunlight danced off the men’s faces and made the sandstone of the walls sparkle as if they had diamonds in them. The sunny day was a great metaphor for the excitement of Padawan Patton who had just gotten news that would change his life.

“This is it! My chance to prove myself!” Apprentice Patton cheered. The stern faced master with him was not impressed.  

“Calm yourself, Patton.” Master Logan directed. “This mission is confidential. You must contain yourself.” The masters stern face was half hidden by his brown and grey beard, blending well with his brown jedi robes. “This lack of control has gotten you in trouble before. If you wish to rise to jedi knight you must learn to mitigate your impulses.” Patton stopped and tried to neaten his curly blonde hair. He was brought down by the mention of this past issue. It was not a situation he wanted to remember.

“I am sorry, master Logan.” He apologised. A jedi must be calm and impartial, but Patton always struggled to contain his emotions. Master Logan sighed and pushed open a large set of doors. Master Logan’s small library was quiet and gave them the privacy they needed to discuss the sensitive task ahead of the student. Glowing books lined the walls and reflected off the metal table in the center. Patton settled on a bench attached to a wall, he was still vibrating with excitement. Master Logan put a chip into the table in the middle of the hexagon shaped room. The lights dimmed and star charts appeared. He moved to stand in front of the student.

“We have sensed a disturbance, a powerful one.” Logan began. “We believe it has come from a young boy on a planet known as Pi’cani.” A cluster of stars was zoomed into on the star chart, another zoom revealed a small planet. “This young boy has immense connection to the force, more than we see in the most highly trained knights. His connection rivals us masters. Your job is to find this child and bring him back to us. If he is left untrained or worse, taken to the dark side, then he could be a danger to us all.” Patton rose his hand, Master Logan sighed but allowed him to ask his question.

“What if the child’s parents are reluctant to let him leave?” Patton asked, his empathy boiling up.

“We do not know the boy’s situation. You will report it to us and the council will decide the best course of action.”  Logan answered. “As this is a highly classified mission you will only be allowed contact with one Jedi member, that will be me. You also will not be allowed to use any of our resources else the mission may be in danger. You will be sent to the travel hub with some credits and a bag of supplies. With that and your lightsaber you should have everything you need to complete the assignment.” Master Logan stepped away and took the chip out of the table and the lights came up. The star chart disappeared. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master Logan. I will not fail the council.” Patton promised. Master Logan let his shoulders fall a moment and put a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“The council's eyes are on you. Many have crumbled under this pressure, don’t let that happen to you.” Master Logan soothed. This was the reason they chose Patton over any other apprentice. He was enthusiastic and cheerful, he would not be easy to break. Sith fed off negative emotions, everyone doubted if Patton had felt bad in his life. “I have full faith in you padawan. If anyone can complete this, it’s you.” Patton’s eyes sparkled from the approval. He rose to and skipped to the door.

“I’ll see you when I am a knight, master Logan.” Patton joked.

“I hope so.” Master Logan nodded. “As much as I care for you Patton, the council may not be able to give you another chance.”

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: one step forwards two steps back

Progress isn't always linear. And the setbacks can feel devastating. But it might still be worth it to try and move forward again.

A cute puppy jumps around excitedly, clearly asking to play, in a grassy field, on a sunny day.

Dad lays his hands to his heart. "Aw so cute!"

The dark Lord has his arms crossed, face partially hidden in the shadow of his pulled up hood. "Pathetic," he scoffs, not even looking.

A cat delicately washes her face. Dad gasps. "Elegant!"

Nemesis rolls his eye. "Obnoxious"

A horse prances around a meadow, hair flowing freely in the wind.

Dad stared on in awe and whispered: "Majestic."

Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Disgraceful"

Suddenly Dad jumped on a bench and pointed frantically at the ground. "Aaah spider!" he screamed.

Nemesis cooed as he knelt down. "Hello there darling!" He gets up, gently petting a massive spider.

Dad screams in horror once more.

 "Well, that was fun," Patton smiled nervously. Virgil looked up at his paternal colleague with a raised brow. The man's body language didn't exactly radiate "I just had fun" energy.

"Plastic spider got you spooked huh?" He mused as he returned his attention to his phone. Thomas just got done filming their character's collab video. Princey's latest very transparent attempt at helping Virgil get along with the others.

"A little," Patton admitted. "But still. I get why Roman enjoys making videos with you so much!"

Virgil suppressed a scoff. There was no real need to point out that it was just Thomas playing caricature versions of them. If Patton wanted to pat himself on the back for this he wasn't going to burst his bubble. So he just shrugged. "I guess," he muttered not noticing how Patton lit up at this small victory.

“Wonderful work you two!” Roman beamed as he entered the commons. Okay, so apparently there was a point in pointing out the obvious.

“Does everyone just forget that it is Thomas who plays these characters? Most we did was toss in a few suggestions. The vine is all you Roman, jeez!” Virgil complained, though he gave Roman the smallest hint of a smile. He wasn’t sure if Roman had started making an effort to give the others credit since they became friends, or if it was just a part of him Virgil only saw now because he spent some actual time around him without shouting insults at each other. Not to say they hadn’t had fights the past… Six months, man time flies. Anyway, their fights could get just as heated as ever. But now after they stormed off to their rooms to cool down, one or the other would eventually knock on the other’s back door with a movie or a snack and an apology. They’d talk things out and make up. It was much better like this. In the past when Virgil’s anger subsided he’d start panicking about… well, everything. Not talking about it afterwards, or even acknowledging that a fight had taken place… Yeah not great.

Roman just rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say Gloom Day. But what did you guys think?” he asked, smile back in place. Roman was already feeling good about today because Virgil had more or less openly complemented him.

“It was amazing Roman! I’m sure the fanders will love it too!” Patton gushed.

Roman gave a little bow. “Thanks padre. Your enthusiasm is appreciated as always.”

This time Virgil could not contain his snort.

“Something funny? Panic at the everywhere?” Roman asked, hands on his hips and a brow raised in challenge.

“Nice one,” Virgil allowed. “It’s just, why even bother asking him? You know he’s going to sing your praises. You can’t sneeze without getting a medal as far as Patton is concerned,” he pointed out.

“That’s not true,” Patton protested gently.

“Well, what did you think then? Oh, sinister one?” Roman asked expectantly, not commenting on the medal thing.

Virgil thought about that for a moment. “I guess it was sort of okay. It was rough on Thomas because Dad and Nemesis have very different energy, but he enjoyed it. The fanders probably didn’t expect the nemesis to interact with other characters,” he allowed, trying to sound reluctant. This time he did see that Patton was beaming. He was really getting too soft around the others.

“Evening everyone,” Logan greeted as he entered the commons. Making Patton get up to get dinner ready and Virgil contemplate whether he’d have dinner in his room or if he could handle a little more social interaction.

“Logan! How did you like today’s project? I am two for two and feeling pretty good, so no need to hold back your criticism,” Roman grinned. Logan cast his eyes to Virgil and then to Patton who nodded, clearly excited to confirm this.

“I see. Well while your intentions were rather transparent, it was a rather good experiment.”

Virgil sat up confused. Did… Did Logan figure them out?

“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about,” Roman grinned innocently.

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “Fine. You ran a test to see how the fanders would respond to the characters loosely based on our personalities interacting. Anxiety and Patton are an interesting first choice. My character and Patton’s would have a more natural combined narrative, but it is effective none the less. I assume that if this gets positive reviews, you will propose other collaborations as well?”

Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”

Virgil felt kind of bad. Roman had promised to stop pushing the subject after things got to a blow with Patton after the whole ‘Marcus’ incident. He should have known that he wouldn’t intentionally push them together.

“Oh Roman! That’s a brilliant idea! That’ll definitely help Anxiety feel less nervous about the whole thing. Right Anxiety?” Patton asked kindly.

Virgil shrugged as he got up to set the table. Just to have something to do.

“You guys do whatever. I’m still not on board.” He didn’t expect them to get it. They represented what people liked about Thomas. His intelligence, creativity, humor, kindness, passion…

He was… as far as everyone was concerned, what hurt Thomas. And yes, he overdid it, a lot. He had tried to be better, honestly, but he couldn’t help who he was.

“We’ll see about that Doominator. I’ll win you over, just you wait. But what did you think Logan?” Roman insisted, pulling Virgil out of his thoughts.

“Well, until we have more data it is hard to say…” Logan started, but then he stopped to ponder. Roman was actively asking for feedback. He had even stated that he could handle it if it wasn’t entirely positive. Maybe he should reward that effort with some of his own.

“Though while I usually would stick with facts, if it is my personal opinion you are seeking…”

An eager nod from Roman confirmed this. Well here goes.

“You all know I am not most in tune with emotions and artistic endeavors. That being said, you did well. The classic broken pattern and the recurring theme of closing off a video including Anxiety and any other character with some form of screaming will almost certainly be well received by the fans.”

Roman was beaming. He had more or less expected someone to criticize the skit in some way, but they all really thought it was good. Maybe the Sanders Sides series could actually happen!

“Dinner’s ready! Thanks for helping out Anxiety,” Patton said pleasantly.

Virgil looked down at the table and found he’d finished setting for four. Guess he’ll be staying for dinner.

He sat across from Patton with Roman to his right and Logan to his left. Roman was brainstorming out loud while they ate dinner, occasionally encouraged by Patton or redirected by Logan when he veered of topic. Once or twice Virgil even muttered a teasing remark which had Roman pouting dramatically and the specs trying to hide their amusement.

It was nice, almost, normal.

He should’ve known then that something was heading his way.

“What do you say Florida Ghoul? Underrated Disney movie night?” Roman asked as they put away the dishes.

Virgil was honestly tempted. Almost all his favorites were in that category. Which Roman knew. They’d argued about the best movies often enough.

But if he started he might lose track of time…

“I have made you all suffer through enough of me I think. I’m going to head down, see what the others are up to.” Thomas was more or less dozing off in front of the tv, he should be fine going down. Maybe he could ask J for a movie night of their own.

“Night,” he waved as he made his way to the door to below. Suddenly he felt someone tug at his hoodie? He looked back, expecting Roman, but it was Patton, looking at him with big shocked eyes.

“Y-you’ll be back though right? We really don’t mind you staying. You don’t have to…”

Virgil raised his hands. “Wow, calm down. What made you think I was going to go back? Permanently I mean.”

Patton looked away, let go of his shirt and started fidgeting with his hands.

That told Virgil enough. He looked up to Roman and Logan. “What did Deceit do?”

Roman got ready to speak, but Logan beat him to it.

“About a week ago, after we first discussed Roman’s Sanders Sides idea, he made a brief appearance. He implied that he might take you back in if we didn’t do a better job of ‘handling you’. Roman and I already assured Patton that Janus has no such power without our aid, but he apparently has not been convinced.”

Virgil glanced to Roman who nodded to confirm that this was how things had played out.

He let out a tired sigh. “I can’t belief this guy. I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could say anything he rushed down the stairs. His thoughts racing. Was this the first time Janus had tried to guilt the others into being his friends? Had Roman… No… No he couldn’t start down that path. Not yet anyway.

“Janus!” he called out as he entered the living room.

“Virgin!” Remus greeted excitedly. Virgil gave the chaotic gremlin he’d grown up with a quick wave.

“Leave us for a sec Remus,” he growled, not looking away from the yellow clad side.

Janus walked up to Remus, looking at Virgil with confusion.

“Why don’t you go hunt something for breakfast Remus,” Janus suggests. Remus didn’t need any more prompting than that. A second later they were alone.

"Virgil, what's the matter?"

Virgil worked a brow. "What do you think? Why could I possibly be mad at you?" He asked, wanting to give Janus a chance to fess up himself.

Janus took in his body language and expression. This was not the fury he'd expect if he'd somehow discovered Janus had been in his room when he wasn't there.

So that left... "Did the lights really tell on me?" He huffed trying to hide how worried that made him. He had no clue about the context. What did Virgil think happened?

"No. I said I was planning on hanging with you guys tonight with plenty of my usual self deprecating humor and Patton was worried I was planning on staying away. I figured you had something to do with that. Logan told me what happened because I asked," Virgil clarified.

"Now I want to hear your side. The truth J. Please." He really hoped the explanation wouldn't be as heartbreaking as the one in his head.

Janus took in a deep breath. "Okay, bit promise we'll stay on topic. No evading, no beating around the bush." Virgil nodded in agreement.

Janus studied his face for a moment until he was satisfied with what he saw. "Okay. Virgil you have been disappearing. I tried to check up on you a few times the past few months and you were just gone. I allowed you to go upstairs because I thought it would be better for you. But if they are erasing you... I needed them to at least try to keep you. I didn't know what else to do..."

Virgil groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to skip over the fact that you obviously entered my room while I was our, for now." He took a deep breath. It wasn't a surprise really. Janus and Remus both always just appeared in his room when they wanted to speak with him. So of course Janus had occasionally popped in to find it empty.

"I was probably in the imagination," Virgil confessed.

"The... why? How?!" Janus asked shocked.

"Roman gave me a little meadow to relax. Like 5 months ago I think. Not too long after the prince vs nemesis video's started. I go there when I need a break."

Janus stammered for a few seconds before letting out a utterly perplexed: "Why?"

That hurt a little. Was it that hard to belief?

"He only said he felt like giving me something. Maybe it was because I gave him some constructive criticism earlier and he wanted to try out positive reinforcement. You know he always overdoes everything," Virgil explained. There wasn't a single lie in his statement, so Janus believed him.

"But... he's not supposed to know..." Janus collapsed a hand in front of his mouth, realizing he said that out loud.

"What is Roman not supposed to know?" Virgil growled.

Janus took a small step back. "I... before I sent you upstairs I told Patton and Logan what I was planning and why. I wanted to be sure they'd look after you."

Virgil nodded. That made sense. "Why was Roman not supposed to know that?"

Janus couldn't look at Virgil. "I... told them I was worried what it would do to Thomas if you didn't move to a less stressful environment. I wasn't sure if Roman would be helpful or even more wary of you. So I blocked even the thought of telling Roman about our conversation from their minds."

Virgil was silent for a few moments. Somehow he felt a lot better about everything now. It all made so much more sense.

"Unblock it then," he muttered as he turned around.

"Virgil..."

"Unblock it. I'll see you guys next week or something. Maybe..." J had meant well after all... right?

"Virgil!" Janus called after him, but he was already halfway the upper commons.

When he walked in Roman, Logan and Patton were standing there waiting for him.

"Janus lied. So you don't have to pretend anymore. And you should be able to tell Roman," he said. Hands in his pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe. His old walks back in place. It was better that way.

"Anxiety... kiddo no. You..."

"Just drop it!" Virgil hissed in his tempest tongue, the briefest glimpse of his feral form was enough to make Patton stagger backwards into Logan. Roman was reaching out though. He was still on Virgil's side.

"I was getting sick of all this sappy family stuff anyway," he scoffed before leaving for gos room.

 Roman stormed into the meadow ready to break down Virgil's door if he had to. Virgil hadn't knocked not even once. But he couldn't be left alone with his thoughts now!

He was barely two steps inside when he spotted Virgil sitting there, a crown of purple daisies in his hand.

"You came," the anxious man breathed in relief.

Roman sat down next to him careful to keep enough distance but also be within reach.

"Of course," he said gently. They both knew ge wanted to defend Patton and Logan. To assure Virgil that they never did what they did because they feared he would be pushed to the edge and hurt Thomas in the fallout.

Virgil had explained to him that his discomfort around Patton was due to feeling like the moral side saw him as a ticking timebomb.

The reason for that was painfully obvious now. But how to make Virgik see that Patton was more distant than he wanted to be instead of more welcoming?

"I knew it was all too good to be true. The bubble was bound to burst... I told myself not to get too attached, cause it would end up hurting... I didn't realize... not until earlier. My room is almost back where I started Roman. I litterally pushed them away. And I thought... I thought I'd pushed you away too." Roman could tell Virgil had been crying.

"Preposterous. I'm much too stuborn to get rid if that easily," he assured Virgil. The darker side cracked a smile at that.

"I'm glad I was wrong about that..."

Roman nodded. Virgil had told him how much he hated being right.

"Did I ruin movienight?" Virgil wondered tensely.

"Well I don't know about Logan and Patton. But you and I are going yo watch all those tragically underrated movies."

And with a wave of his hand Roman set out an out doors movie theatre complete with snacks. The sky darkened and Virgil was handed a movie menu.

He smirked as he looked it over. Roman really did have to overdo everything. Including distracting him.

It was appreciated though.

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @riverdoesbadart @vpow @apinkline2715 @frida43 @tired-yeetling @firegirl156

Later Virgil would discover that his room was moved just a few feet closer to the upper level again.

Next: adjusting

[cantpickonefandoms]

Lil’ Sanders Sides Pets AU

Patton is the local vet

He’s well known in the town for being very good at his job and he’s the only one the other sides trust with their pets

Patton had a golden retriever named Sunny

She’s an older dog, she’s very sweet, loves cuddles and she reflects Patton’s personality in tons of ways, they’re both very loving towards friends and family, and they both love taking care of others.

Roman has a blue quaker parrot

This bird is every bit as loud and dramatic as Roman is

His name’s Zazu

Zazu and Roman can often be heard singing along to the Lion King soundtrack

Roman is very protective of his bird, if so much as one feather falls off Zazu, Roman is running to Patton demanding that he tell Roman what’s wrong with his beloved bird.

Virgil and Logan are brothers

Virgil got a pet first

He has a sleek black-all-over female kitten named Sally (as in Nightmare Before Christmas)

She’s a shy nervous little thing, she doesn’t like most people outside of Virgil and Patton.

Logan didn’t really see the appeal in pets at first, until he fell in love with Sally

With some convincing from Virgil, Logan ends up getting a cat too

He gets a female Siamese cat with bright blue eyes

Her name is Athena, after the Greek goddess of wisdom

She’s a very intelligent cat

Logan tries to hide a bag of catnip from her? Athena will find it and bust the bag open

Logan keeps the door to his office shut because he doesn’t want Athena to get in and mess up his tidy work space? Athena will find away to get past the door and into his office, and Logan will find his cat asleep on his laptop, and Logan will very confused about the heck his cat managed to get into his office.

Janus has a snake (shocker, I know)

Specifically, he has a yellow corn snake

Snake’s name is Dee

Dee likes to slither up Janus’ arms and wrap itself around Janus’ shoulders

Dee could sleep on Janus’ shoulders forever

Remus has a Chilean rose tarantula

He brought his tarantula with him when he visited Roman, and poor Roman didn’t know what was under the cloth-covered box Remus was carrying, and Roman lifted the cloth and screamed

His tarantula’s name is Aragog Will Fucking Eat You, or just Aragog for short

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Peculiars (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Patton Boleyn was a special child, not necessarily special in the way most would describe. He was smart, yes, but he was average smart. He was skilled in things like singing art and cooking, but not profesionally.

Looking at Patton most would assume he was completely ordinary, and he was for the most part.

But Patton could do things most humans couldnt. Most people would watch him sitting in fields and wading through lakes and rivers and say it was just him being a normal energetic child.

Patton's parents knew better, they saw the way the flowers moved to face their son, and the way the lake seemed to become empty in the spots Patton swam in.

Patton's father said they would have to keep him inside for his safety, his parent said that Patton's gift was one to be nurtured, not locked away from the rest of the world.

Patton hated the days they would argue. The way his father's eyes would narrow as he yelled at his spouse over a petty incident of a flower growing quicker than it should in the school yard. The way his parent's hand clutched the nearby table as they struggled not to raise their voice at their husband.

The day Patton asked to go to the pool was the last straw. His father had panicked, words were exchanged that Patton wouldnt forget for years. So Patton and his parent had packed up their things and left. Patton found out later that they hadnt been happy in the marriage with his father either way, so Patton was glad both of them had escaped.

That was how the first nine years of Patton's life had gone, and the next five had been full of Patton hiding his gift from everyone except his parent.

They had the most vibrant garden in the neighborhood, and a little pond with a small waterfall in the backyard. Patton would watch the koi swim through the pond, manipulating the water to small bubbles occasionally so he could lift the fish out of the pond without hurting them. He had to stop doing that when the neighbor tried to catch it on camera and call the police.

Patton didn't mind having to hide, but sometimes it hurt, he felt wrong, he wanted to run around in lakes and fields like he used to, wanted to watch the water ripple under his hands, and flowers bloom where he walked. But it wasnt safe anymore, people were scared, they wouldnt trust someone like him.

Today felt different, he'd woken up same as usual, to his parent's voice calling him down for breakfast, their soft brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. It was almost identical to his own, only a little darker, and a lot less healthy from all their years of dying it as a teenager, they'd told Patton that if he ever wanted to dye his hair he would have to wait a while between sessions so it wouldnt fall out.

Then he'd gone to school and had a perfectly ordinary day, he'd done well in his classes, he talked to other students, and he hadnt caused a single flower to bloom or ripple in a puddle of water.

He was beginning to think that the feeling he'd had this morning was just nerves, until he walked home to find his parent on the front porch with a woman who had white hair with streaks of pink and blue. The woman was smiling and talking to his parent, who's face was one of shocked Awe and silence.

"Patton! There you are!" His parent threw their arms around him.

"What's going on? Who's this?" Patton put his hands in his pockets, an expression of concern on his face.

"Mrs. Hera Raven, she runs a school for kids like you," Patton's jaw clenched.

"You're not sending me away are you? I haven't done anything wrong!" Patton stepped back, he'd almost tripped into the street before his parent caught his arm, their deep blue eyes were full of a mix of sorrow and understanding.

"No one is saying you've done anything wrong dear, but people with your talents arent safe out here, Mx. Boleyn has agreed to let me take the two of you somewhere safer," Mrs. Raven was smiling, Patton noticed her lipstick was an odd blood-red color. Patton looked between the two adults, the confusion in his face only becoming more pronounced.

Mrs. Raven's face shifted suddenly to one of fear, "we need to leave, quickly, follow me," she gestured to a car.

A few minutes of driving later they had come upon a collection of oddly shaped rocks, and disappeared through the center of them.

"Now hurry up hurry up, we'll be safe once we're at the school," Mrs. Raven said, ushering them through the woods. Eventually they came upon a large building, it was made of bricks and stone, and the brick was painted black.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Patton said, fidgeting with his clothes.

Mrs. Raven looked around for a few seconds, Patton noticed that, rather than both her eyes being the bright green he thought they were, one was a striking yellow color.

"Patton, you are what we call a peculiar child, it's a recessive gene in families that manifests in, as you might call them, supernatural abilities in children," she said.

"You mean theres more kids that can do what I can?" Patton said.

"Well, not exactly what you can do, they all have their own abilities, you can meet more of them here," Mrs. Raven said.

"Oh, and the main rule, now that you're here, you cant leave, if you leave the loop you will be in danger once it resets," Patton opened his mouth to ask another question.

"Loops are rewind in time created by ymbrenes like myself, they are used to protect peculiar children such as yourself, some of the children within this loop have been here for nearly one hundred years, if they were to leave, they would age until-" Patton's parent covered his ears.

"So what about Bon?" Patton asked, looking up at them.

"The same rule applies to humans, typically parents who accompany their children to the school become members of staff, it's actually quite good for the children to have multiple parental figures," Mrs. Raven said with a grin.

"Patton, I'm gonna let you go make friends while I go with Mrs. Raven ok?" Bon smiled, running their hand through Patton's hair.

"Ok Bon," Patton said. He watched the two adults leave before finally walking into the main portion of the courtyard. There were dozens of children chasing each other and playing around, and adults talking to each other on the sidelines while watching their children.

"Watch out!" Patton barely had time to react before a basketball came hurling it's way across the garden, a tree branch curled it's way around the object just before it made contact with his face.

"Wooooaaaahhh! Awesome!" Patton moved the tree back into the ground, picking the basketball up and turning on the direction of the voice. A boy that looked a year or two older than him, with red eyes and the wisp of a mustache, was smiling brightly at him.

"So you can make trees huh? That's cool," he said as he took the basketball out of Patton's hands.

"I can control water to," Patton whispered, shuffling his feet in the grass.

"Remus! Who's that!" Another boy ran over to them, this one had bright green eyes and a mass of red hair.

"New kid, he makes trees," Remus said with a grin.

"Well come on, it's your turn," said the boy.

"Can we call it a tie for today, I wanna show him around," said Remus. The other boy nodded and ran off to a group of five other boys.

"Well, I'm Remus Duke-Prince, and I can reanimate the dead," Remus said. Patton blinked a few times while trying to process this, earning a laugh from the boy.

"Patton Boleyn, I can manipulate earth and water, which I guess are kind of similar since they both make up the actual planet anyways," Patton mumbled, tapping his fingers together.

"Boleyn? Like as in beheaded Anne Boleyn?" Remus said. Patton nodded and flinched slightly as Remus let out a loud howl of laughter.

"Come on- let me introduce you to my favorite people here," Remus said, grabbing Patton's arm and running over to the group of six.

"Everyone, this is Patton, Patton, this is Roman, Logan, Virgil, Janus, Emile, and Remy," Remus said, pointing at each of the boys in turn.

"Roman Prince-Duke, yes, I'm related to the rat," Roman said, picking up a rock and holding it out in front of Patton. Patton was about to take it from his hand before Roman closed his fingers around it, when he opened them again a light blue gemstone had taken its place.

"He makes rocks boring," Remus said, laughing. Roman let out an annoyed huff before fixing the gem into a silver necklace and clasping it around Patton's neck.

"Logan Mercedes," said the boy next to Roman, he had fluffy brown hair that seemed pushed to one side of his head.

"I can breath underwater and see in the dark," Logan said before turning to the boy next to him.

"This is my boyfriend, Virgil," Logan said, moving a lock of vibrant purple hair out of Virgil's face.

"Do you want to show him?" Logan whispered to Virgil, who was fidgeting with his hoodie strings. Virgil gave a slightly nod and Logan pulled a rope out from his belt, wrapping it around Virgil's waist. Virgil bent down to unlock what seemed like iron boots fastened to his legs. The moment he'd stepped out from the shoes, the boy was a few feet above the ground, Logan holding the rope with one hand and Virgil's hand with the other. Logan helped Virgil back into the boots, fastening them back up before he took off the rope and placed it back on his belt.

"Virgil doesnt talk much," Remus said simply before turning to a boy with a large scar on his face. His skin was a dark brown, which made with yellow eyes stand out all the more obviously.

"Janus Allen, I can talk to animals," he said simply, bowing slightly and placing a kiss on Patton's hand, Patton noticed Remus shift slightly and let out a soft giggle.

"Remy Hypnos, and this is my little brother Emile," said the boy next to Janus, his skin was a lighter brown than Janus', and he was wearing sunglasses despite it not being very sunny out.

"Hes like medusa, and I can move stuff with my brain," Emile said, fidgeting with the bow in his hair.

"Well now that you've met all of us, welcome to the loner squad Patton," said Remus, clapping a hand on Patton's back with a grin. Patton thought he might enjoy it here much more than he'd first expected to.

----------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@thecolorfulolive

@thefivecalls

@melodiread

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@boobmaster69

@januses-nap-corner

[mother-snake]

the grims wish

(the next series im writting!!! and its got a first chapter! also should i bring my oc’s into this??) tags: @idkanameatall

next: n/a warnings: swaring

- janus is a magician. he has been since he was nine. and recently, things have been changing... its up to him and several others to fix whats gone wrong

Chapter 1- it was a stormy day

there were once skies filled with wonderful things. Birds, bugs, planes and clouds. the earth had people walking the streets getting to work. Some would ride bikes and others drive via car, bus or taxi. the planet filled with beautiful stones and flourished green everywhere.

Now things were changing. Ever since the lunar eclipse almost 100 years ago now. Things changed. the eclipse lasted for an entire day, and when it had stopped… two suns were in the sky. One shining bright and the other barely duller.

The people of the planet changed. Some could transform into wild animals; others couldn’t walk in the light. Some could manipulate the elements with spells. very few people had changed however. Most people stayed the same. And that meant the fear of the unknown would resurface. Those who had changed learned to adapt to the less forgiving.

Some would band together and try and find a place to fit in. some did, others couldn’t. starving of hunger or dying from the harsh winters.

I was one of the less fortunate. After I had turned 18 id been kicked out of my home with sunny by my side. sunny was my familiar. Looking like a boa constrictor but almost ghostly. You could see through her yellow shinny body. But her black eyes could pierce through your own skin.

Right now, she was wrapped around me like a thick warm scarf. Trying her best to provide me some warmth as the rain thundered down onto the ground. I was already soaked to the bone and an icy feeling had already set into my bones.

I looked around the streets, vision being blurred by the rain that poured relentlessly.

I pushed myself of the ground where I sat. there was no place open for me to sit in. and if there was, they didn’t take too kindly to magicians. that’s what I hated about coming back here. but there wasn’t anywhere else to travel to.

I grumbled as my hood fell down. Exposing my already wet hair to the rain. At least with it up I could contain some warmth. I didn’t bother to put it back up. there was no point in doing so.

I let out a huff. My feet made barely any noise as I made my way down the street. If there was one place, I could go it was the train station. But even then, I was cutting it close.

A loud bark cut me out of my thoughts as I felt something grab the hood of my jacket and tug me backwards as a car raced in front of my vision.

Whatever was holding onto me let go and I swivelled on my heel to face it. my eyes locked onto a black dog. It stood up to my height. Its glowing indigo eyes alerted me to the fact it wasn’t human. it glanced to my neck and looked curiously at my familiar.

“thanksss,” sunny hissed to the dog who barked back in response.

It nodded to me and soon a bright blue light swarmed where it stood. Shifting to the form of a human. A tall one at that. “sorry for the scare,” they said.

He wore a black suit. A blue stripped tie matched his animal’s eyes. a black umbrella was raised in the air, protecting him from the rain. A small part of me was jealous. Another part slightly ready to turn tail and run.

“come, we should get out of the rain, I have a feeling it won’t let up any time soon,” he said as he held out a hand. sunny turned her head to look at me and gave a small nod. Well if she could trust him. So could I.

I took his hand and was pulled under the umbrella. It wasn’t much. but it was nice to not have rain pouring over me. we walked silently next to each other. Not saying a single word. I hunched myself over. My overgrown hair covering the left side of my face. something I was thankful he couldn’t see.

“so,” he said, “may I ask for your name?” “Janus, and you?” “Logan berry. It’s a pleasure Janus,” he said loudly, trying to talk over the rai.

We turned a corner. I chuckled as I realised the school I’d gone to so long ago was still around. It was by no means small. It stood proudly in the storm. A small part of me felt my spine shiver. As if something from inside was looking into my soul.

Then before I knew it was out of vision.

 It was around ten minuets later that we arrived to a very posh looking set of apartments. Definitely not new. I recognised them.

Soon we were inside one. A deep red door with the numbers 24 plastered on neatly. Logan opened the door and ushered me inside. It was a lot different than I had imagined. The entrance hall had several doors lined up on either side. A couple were open.

“hey Logan its good to-“ a voice called. the figure at the end of the hall stood stunned upon seeing me, his eyes going wide upon seeing sunny. “oh my, Logan can you grab a towel for the poor soul?” he said.

Logan gave a sharp nod before patting my arm as if saying ‘good luck’. I let a weak smile on my face as I made my way forwards as he ushered me further in. warmth seeped into my bones. Something I had been very thankful for. Almost relaxing as it hit my skin. sunny let out a content hiss as well. I’m not really sure if it was because she was warm or if it was because she knew I was. a mini mother snake is what she was… and I was perfectly fine with that.

“my names Patton, you’re more than welcome to stay here to wait out the storm he said as he ruffled my wet hair. he let out a chuckle, making his way out of view.

Thankfully Logan chose that moment to walk in. a towel in hand and some other things. “I brought you a change of clothes, I have a feeling those cant be very comfortable nor hygienic right now,” he said, “the bathroom is down the hall. Second door to the right.

I stood there stunned. My mind seemingly frozen. “I think you broke my human,” sunny hissed over to Logan as she looked at me with a smirk.

“I never asked for your name, my apologies,” Logan said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “sssummer, but my human callsss me sssunny,” she said.

I shook my head, snapping out of my thoughts, “are you certain? I don’t want to intrude,” I muttered. “it’s quite all right Janus. I know what its like being out there. To be honest you look like you need a place to stay for tonight. So, might as well get comfy.”

I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. so…Patton and Logan hu? Were they now my friends?

I’m not surprised at Logan knowing what its like to be on the streets for so long. He looked at least two years older than me. His skin was a pale white, black ebony hair seemed to contrast his skin. and sky-blue eyes that could melt the iciest of hearts.

A small flush of the cheeks was all it took for me to take the things he was holding and make my way into the hall. the bathroom hadn’t been hard to miss. Going in had made me chuckle. Several shelves on the walls held rubber ducks. Multi coloured and wearing clothing of famous figures.

I couldn’t resist the smile that slipped onto my face.

 I was out of the room within five minutes. My hair was still slightly damp, but at least not dripping onto my back.  I pulled it back into a ponytail. But kept the left half covered by my hair.

I took a deep breath. All my damp clothes were shoved into my previously empty backpack. I picked it up and opened the door. Laughter rung in my ears. But it was familiar. One I hadn’t heard in years.

I could feel both mine and sunny’s excitement flooding us all at once. I made my way forwards and peaked my hear around the corner and let a grin cover my face.

“ah! There you are kiddo,” Patton said excitedly, grabbing my hand and dragging me in.

“holy shit,” moustache said, “dude, how the fuck are you still alive?!” the strangers in the room seemed startled for a couple seconds. “Remus, I haven’t an idea,” I said as we brought each other into a hug.

“seven fucking years Jannie. Seven fucking years,” he muttered as he held on tighter. “eh, could’ve been longer,” I looked over Remus’s shoulder to see his gobsmacked twin, “hello roman.”

“wait, you two know Janus?” Patton said stunned “hell yeah!” Remus exclaimed, “we went to the same school.”

“well anyways, have time to talk,” Patton said, “dinners in the oven and id like to get to know our guest,”

And that’s how the evening went. I answered their questions. Mainly the twins spitting them out rapid fire. there were plenty of laughs as I told them about everywhere id been. They had seemed genuinely surprised that I had been everywhere it seemed. With the limits of being in the uk, it was much easier to travel around than if I were to be in America. I would most likely still be roaming thinking about it.

 Time passed quicker than I’d realised. Soon the rain had stopped pouring from the sky. Instead replaced by an inky black sky. Clouds seemed to cover the sky as I looked out the window.

Sunny shimmered back into view from her invisible cloaking on the window ledge. “he hassn’t changed, hasss he?” she hissed out. “ha, indeed,” I muttered back, letting out a yawn.

There was a knock on the main door. I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard someone open the door and slam it behind themselves. “hey guys!” oh god… this wouldn’t go down well… “hey Virgil, we have a guest for today so be polite okay,” Patton called out.

When Virgil entered the Livingroom, basically commons for them. He froze as he saw me sitting by the window. “oh for fuck’s sake, why are you here?” he groaned. “trust me, ill be out of your hair soon enough Virgil. I promise,” I sighed, “I already feel like I’m intruding.”

He gave me a pat on the back and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small clip. he reached up to my face and pulled my hair out of my face, clipping it back with a spider hairclip. “you will have shitty vision if you keep covering that side you know?

I sighed, there was no point on letting my hair fall back into place. From memory Virgil seemed to have hair and bobby pins all over himself. There was no hiding from the onslaught of hair accessories.

“so… what you been doing these past three years then?” he asked nervously.

I chuckled and began to recount all I’d previously told the others. it had been a while since he had felt welcome anywhere. And here in this small pack of monsters and humans… he hadn’t felt at home ever more than now.

[starstruck-xavier]

For the bthb Don't Let Them See You Cry for Moceit

Lavender

tysm for the request! i had fun writing this one, i hope you enjoy <33 another fic for @badthingshappenbingo​

ao3 || wattpad || bthb masterpost || fanfic masterpost

words: 1627 ships: moceit (up to your interpretation) warnings: verbal fighting/arguing, nothing physical prompt: don’t let them see you cry fandom: sanders sides

summary: Patton has never liked the sound of fighting, but at least someone catches onto that. bingo card and fic under the cut!

X = finished, O = work in progress i’m still taking requests!

~

Patton has never liked the sound of fighting.

He knows that these arguments usually get resolved, that it’s very rare nowadays for the sides to hold extensive, serious grudges against each other thanks to the improvement in communication that they’d all been practicing with Thomas, but this is six characters all trapped within the confines of one man’s imagination and the laws of physics out in the real world. They can’t be separated from each other for alone time that easily. Everyone is always everywhere.

Individual words can’t even be distinguished from the quarrel that Logan and Roman are having, yelling meaningless insults at each other, Patton and Virgil merely caught in the fray. About five minutes of this has transpired with Virgil becoming more and more fidgety until he sinks out with an apologetic look to Patton, not even noticed by the other two quarrelling.

He’s the dad character, he should be able to stop them from fighting! But whenever he opens his mouth, the lump in his throat threatens to rise and spill his tears. And then what would they think of him? He can’t let them see him cry. Even though everyone’s been comforting and supportive of him through his more emotional days, this is a different situation. Roman and Logan are too caught up in their argument to think about timeout or indoor voices.

So, Patton waits, blinking rapidly, breathing deeply, waiting for a moment of silence so he can clear his throat and cause them to realise just how loud they’re being. Thomas probably has one hell of a headache. It’s getting harder and harder to watch the two sides argue, their quarrels clearly straying from the topic they’d first started on. However, just as Patton thinks he’s about to break, he feels a tugging that alerts him to being summoned elsewhere.

When he rises up again, he’s in a room that doesn’t look extremely familiar, but the black and yellow theme gives away just who’s it is.

“Janus?” Patton scans around the room until he lays eyes on the newly accepted side. "I’m— I'm just moderating a discussion in the common room. Do you need anything?”

"I’d hardly call it a ‘discussion’, Patton. I’ve been listening." Narrowing his mismatched eyes with suspicion, Janus walks over slowly and touches his gloved fingertips to Patton’s chin, gazing into watery eyes. "Don’t try to force your tears down. You’ve got a lot bottled up in there.”

Instinct compels him to deny that he’s feeling anything negative, plaster a smile on his face and force his voice up a pitch to uphold his sunny disposition, but then Patton remembers who he’s talking to. Janus can spot lies, that’s his function. Still, the moral trait simply takes off his glasses to rub at his eyes, not ready to let everything go just yet. “Logan and Roman are just… arguing. It’s a little much. They didn’t even notice when Virgil left.”

Janus hums in thought, then perks up as he has an idea. "I’ll go out there for you and handle things. I think that if I try to join in as myself it’ll set them off further, so, may I impersonate you for the time being? I know they both have a soft spot for you, but I saw how upset you looked watching them. You can stay here.”

Ever since Janus’ multiple impersonation plots, he’s learned to ask for permission before shifting into another side’s look. As reluctant as he was when Thomas decided to get everyone to work on better communication, he’s aware now that taking someone’s place without letting them know will cause confusion and general discord, and so he awaits Patton’s answer, hearing a distant ‘falsehood’ screech through the walls.

"Yes… please. Y— You don’t have to—“ Patton starts, but Janus shushes him gently.

"I know I don’t have to, but I want you to feel better." The snake skin on Janus’ face starts to fade as he alters his appearance to mirror the side in front of him. "I won’t be back soon, and then you can’t tell me everything that’s been on your mind lately." He smirks humorously, eliciting a more genuine smile from Patton, then conjures a pair of glasses and clears his throat, feeling his larynx lift upwards to accommodate the difference in voice patterns that the two exhibit. "Don’t go anywhere, kiddo!”

There’s no flaw in how Janus captures his voice with a dorky movement of his shoulders, making Patton chuckle to himself for a moment, then all the smiles leave him as soon as he’s left alone. He makes his way to Janus’ bed and sits down, leaning against the wall and hearing muffled conversation in the common room.

"Okay, guys, let’s not fight anymore.”

"Oh, my apologies, Patton. We must’ve figuratively strayed from the original topic.”

"Yeah, because Calculator Watch over here is being too stubborn to listen to my idea!”

"I was listening, it’s just preposterous!”

“Logan! Roman!”

A few seconds of silence drift through the air, then… "Where did Virgil go?”

"He left about five minutes ago. Poor kiddo must be pretty anxious.”

That reminds him - Virgil. He’s been on Patton’s mind for some time as well, adding to the mountain of emotions lodging in his throat. The kind, apologetic look he’d received from the anxious side before he left feels strangely refreshing after the buildup of tension between the two, ever since the whole puppet video. They’ve definitely made an effort to repair their friendship - Patton treats Virgil more like his intimidating self while still maintaining a doting, fatherly attitude and Virgil tries not to direct his outbursts towards him - but still, it seems like something’s missing. Patton just wants his best friend back.

The thought sends his tears overboard, and within a matter of seconds he’s stifling his sobs into his hand. The softener in Janus’ bedsheets underneath him provides a little bit of comfort, but every time Virgil’s face appears in his mind, the faucets in his eyes open a little more. It’s getting harder to keep his hitched breathing under a controlled volume, and he doesn’t want to alert anyone’s attention so that Janus can continue with his plan, so he grabs a pillow, sets his glasses down beside him and hides his pain away from the rest of the room.

The pillow smells of lavender. Lavender, purple… Virgil…

Patton doesn’t lift his head when he hears the familiar whoosh of displaced air as Janus returns, he just continues to sharply inhale the lavender scent and sob through his exhales. He doesn’t even try to collect his scattered pieces when a pair of arms wrap around him and hold his trembling body close, keeping it intact. Of course, with Janus being part snake, he doesn’t radiate body heat like the other sides when he gets hugs from them, but that doesn’t change the feeling of a comforting body leaning against his. All the while, Janus stays quiet and waits for him to talk, sprouting his four extra arms after a while to card one hand through his hair and trace various patterns into Patton’s arms and back with the others.

It takes a long time for the moral side to steady his breaths, but eventually he removes his face from the tear-stained pillow to look at Janus with red eyes and a runny nose. He barely stops himself from apologising, apologising for crying, crying into his pillow nonetheless, instead reminding himself that he is the emotional side and that it’s completely normal for him to be feeling this way - something he’s had to remind himself of for so long. No words are spoken yet; Janus uses his extra arms to shift Patton into his lap and then moves to lay down on the bed with Patton’s head against his chest. Tears still leak from puffy red eyes, but it seems that he’s finally let all of his most intense emotions out.

For the rest of the day, every now and again Patton says something like "I wish mine and Virgil’s relationship was the same as it was before”, or "I made Thomas think he was a bad person”, or "I just hate seeing my family fight" in between sniffles, and Janus continues the comforting motions of gloved hands in his hair and on his back, underneath his blue polo, telling him that Virgil doesn’t hate him, neither does Thomas, and it’ll all be okay soon as long as everyone decides to cooperate, and Patton knows that there’s nothing but truth in his words.

"Did you manage to get Logan and Roman to forgive each other?" He asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Janus hums amusedly. "Yes, I eventually revealed myself and told them I'd get Remus to gently nudge them down the stairs if they didn’t.”

The response causes Patton to laugh adorably as he props himself up on his elbows to look at him, the corners of his eyes creasing in that way they do when he’s smiling genuinely. “Janus, no violence!”

"I was only joking, sweetie." The dorky side’s forked tongue flickers out with his smile, but then he tilts his head playfully and looks into Patton’s eyes for a moment. “…Unless?”

Patton has never liked the sound of fighting, but at least somebody has caught onto that now. In the meantime, the two will laugh the evening away and then fall asleep, tangled in each other’s limbs, but then eventually Logan and Roman will sort out their differences for good, Patton and Virgil will finally have a long-anticipated conversation, and Janus will be supporting him all the way.

Maybe it’s helpful to let yourself cry in front of somebody else every now and again.

[spacegaywritings]

Love and other Tragedies (7/7) “Why”

Summary:Remus' court case comes to an end, prompting Roman to make an impulsive, fateful decision.

Tags: death, suicide, bad ending, execution, corrupt government, double death implied, mentions of polyamorous relationships (remus x logan x virgil x Janus), sort of suicide note, remy mentions, flowers, implied sexual assault, attempted rape allegations, implied abuse, angst angst and drama af

Tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6  / 7 (you are here) .

Ao3 :     1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 // all.

  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

 Story under the cut: (Word count: ~1,6k)

21st MAY

 One last time, Mary.

 I feel really bad to do this but I think if I keep up writing to help myself, I need to start with a new book. Conveniently, you actually are about to run out. Still, I think our ways about to split. I need to start over.

 Patton and I are close. We are dating, actually. It is comfortable to be with the little prince of hearts. He makes me really happy.

It is important to realise that I deserve a healthy relationship that makes me happy. We both still go to therapy and Doctor Archimeda tells me that we accept the kind of love we think we deserver.

 I don’t know whether Remus was bad for me or wanted to be bad at all. Maybe he is bad for himself. He seemed really hurt.

I did not want to look at all the things they said on TV but I went outside to apply for a job on the side. I found a school course to take me in but I need money. I feel icky just thinking about the idea of taking my family’s money for this - I know I shouldn’t feel down about this but I do. Things will get better. Doctor Archimeda is really out to pull my strings and lure me out of my reserve. It is uncomfortable but change and development is disgusting a lot. He said that butterflies look really ugly before they come out and during their first days. It kinda helps to think of that.

Patton calls me his butterfly prince, now. He is my prince of hearts. When I tell him, he giggles and gets all flustered. He said I am the most handsome prince in the world but to be frank, I think he is the most handsome one.

 I really love him.

 About Remus..

I think I keep distracting from the topic because I don’t really want to write down what happened. It hurts to think about it. He looks so small when people question him. His partners sit on the side and hold hands or each other.

They seem to love him so much, it hurts me for them.

 Love really is something.

 They said he murdered someone.

He said it was protection.

Apparently, someone assaulted him and one of his partners but his partner is really anxious and scared, so he froze up while Remus defended them both. It was an alpha.

No wonder he was in a metal hospital that excludes alphas - even the staff is not allowed to be alphas. It’s a true horror story.

 The newspapers say that Remus would be best off pleading for insanity.

I know he is not insane. He is honest in his eyes.

 When I saw his eyes and he was questioned, I really did not want to be alive. He looks so betrayed. I understand that he said all these things.

I wondered whether I should write him a letter and tell him I am sorry and that Patton and I are better but miss him because he was a nice friend.

 I am scared of what he will say - if he actually answers.

 OH! Also, dearest Mary! I think you will be happy to hear about this.

 Patton went to visit my family.

It was quiet but it is sunny and warm here because it is May already. Summer is about to start, so Patton wore a dress.

He is scared of wearing nice things when he is alone because people harass him a lot. He was in because he did not have a Remus to protect him from others.

 I told my family I am engaged to Patton.

Things are fast but they are doing well.

 Mary...

I am scared.

I think they will say Remus was guilty because he ended up taking a high-ranked alpha’s life and nobody believes he did it to protect himself and his mate because they are omegas. They think they planned it.

I think it is because he is dating more than one person and that scares people.

 I think it is swell for him to have multiple princes. I just want him to be happy.

 Farewell, love.

 Yours truly,

Prince Roman, soon-to-be king of Patton’s heart only.

  3rd JUN

 Hello, friend.

 You are a new diary. I feel bad for replacing Mary but I think I need to keep writing. I.. I am not telling Patton. It feels wrong but he thinks Remus is bad.

He says it is wrong because he did a wrong thing - even if he did it for the right reasons. I - don’t you think it is okay to protect someone? They were not the aggressors, so why is it wrong to defend your own life when someone threatens it?

 I feel icky.

 I can’t talk to Patton about it.

 I will start school in a few weeks and for now, I am working in a flower shop.

I..I saw one of his partner come in. Someone had to send me home. I told Patton I saw yellow roses and got upset, so he suggested I look for another job if I am still too hurt.

I feel bad for lying but I can’t imagine feeling as betrayed as Remus. The whole world seems against him and his partners look so gentle. It was the anxious one. He is tall but seems timid - from what I can remember.

 I wonder how I shall name you, fellow journal. You deserve to be a named, considering you are my accomplice in this matter.

 I want to find the anxious one and tell him what happened.

Maybe I can tell them that Remus is nice and gentle and never hurt anyone. He did not get knives because Remus said they thought he would hurt himself to evade the sentence.

He said he would never accept a death sentence because it is a shame to be sentenced unfairly for unfair things and by an unfair state.

 I wonder whether he is wise or stupid saying all these things but he has opinions stronger than my body. (Yes, I started working out! I want to carry Patton on our wedding day! We consider next year in April. It is the day we three got really close friends. It means a lot to me.)

 I will write a letter to the court.

I can tell them how nice Remus is! I just don’t know whether I am any use. I have Mary (my old journal) to help me remember things but I am unsure. People will think I am too insane because I was in a mental hospital. They did not call it that but it was one.

 I don’t know.

 I don’t want him to die.

 The timid partner looked so peaceful. I bet Remus is happy with them. I think his name is Virgil. The others are Janus and Logan.

 I will talk to my therapist. Archimeda is clever and knows a lot of things.

  27th JUN

 Greetings, Friendo!

 I am still working at the flower shop.

They said Remus is guilty but some people are writing petitions and starting demonstrations. I want to go, too.

Patton says it is wrong. I asked him whether he would rather have Remus and his partner dead because a man wanted to do whatever with them. He was silent but I don’t think he feel different, now.

 I think I will call you Justice.

 Archimeda helped me write a letter. He said it is okay to support others but he recommended I take it slow or I will get hurt. He said I am too scared of losing people but that happens a lot.

How can people be so indifferent to this?

 I will send my letter as an open letter. I never told Patton these things in there, so maybe he won’t know. I don’t really care if he knows. I am scared he will get mad but I found new friends and I asked Remy if I could sleep at his place in case my engagement broke off,

He asked why.

I said because I am scared. He thinks it is okay.

He was the one who sent me home when I saw Virgil and then the stars.

 Yours,

The one and lonely Roman

  30th JUN

 Justice, hello.

 I think I am no prince more.

 Patton found out it is my letter and broke off the engagement. I visit my parents a lot more and bring them many flowers. Remy helps me with colours because he acts like a huge bitch but is actually a really nice person.

 I wish Patton was as kind as he is.

 Remus..

His partners held hands when he got the sentence.

 They will execute him soon. They think it is a waste to keep a young omega living if he is criminal already and refuses to become “better” and fit into his role.

The media quieted down. Some depict him as villain.

 He still has the mustache.

 I sentenced him, when I called him a villain.

 I will join my family but I cancelled the highschool first and left Remy enough money for more rent. He will get all the money I saved for the wedding. I wrote him a letter, asking him to give you and Mary to Remus’ partners.

 I will be a real butterfly.

And first I will be ugly.

Then I will be pretty with my beloved family.

 Yours,

Prince “Butterfly” Roman

  ***

[the-ancients-son]

Tagged by: @pure-patissiere​

Tagging: whomever

Note: gonna make one per muse since this is long.

Name: Janus Angelica Audron

Name meaning: Janus is the Roman god of doorways, beginnings, and ends. Angelica is “like an angel” or angelic. Audron is “golden”

Age: appears 20, but is 3000+

Gender: cis male

Ethnicity: Ancient

Nationality: Nosgothian

What time do they usually get up in the morning?: When he does sleep, he usually gets up in the late morning, has a little difficulty in getting up as well.

What is their morning routine?: He tends to stay in bed for a few more minutes before sitting up and stretching. Afterward, he’ll go comb his hair and neaten his feathers before heading to the kitchen for some tea or decaf coffee.

How long does it take them to get ready in the morning?: Only about 5-10 minutes.

What time to do they usually go to bed?: Late at night, when he does sleep. Easily 2-3am, and uncommon cases at 4-5am.

Do they fall asleep easily? Do they stay asleep easily?: His mind often races at night, so he sometimes has difficulty falling asleep, but sometimes he’ll fall asleep as soon as his head rests on something. When he is asleep though, he easily stays that way unless he has a nightmare.

What position do they sleep in?: Starts out on his left side, curled up a little bit, though during his slumber he may turn onto his back with straight legs and bent arms, or onto his stomach with arms tucked under his head/pillow.

What is their handwriting like?: A little messy and crooked with more acute and right angles than usual.

Do they prefer typing or writing things?: Writing. Computers don’t exist in nosgoth.

What form of art (i.e. sculpture, embroidery, painting, etc) do they like?: Paintings and drawings, along with sewing and crochet!

Are they an artist themselves? What kind of art do they do?: He doesn’t draw often, but he’s good at detailed flowers.

What are some of their favorite books?: He enjoys fantasy action and secretly romance :3

What genres of movies do they like?: Drama, romance, and comedy.

What music genres do they enjoy?: There isn’t much he dislikes in fact. Has a particular liking for pop and classical

What are some of their favorite musical acts?: *shrug*

Do they prefer their music to sound a certain way?: As long as it doesn’t get too repetitive, he’ll most likely enjoy it.

Are they a musician themselves?: Sometimes. He’s able to play guitar.

Do they enjoy music from certain decades? If so, which decades?: No large preference.

What are some of their favorite pieces of clothing/outfits in their wardrobe? If not applicable, what do you think would be some of their favorite pieces of clothing/outfits?: He likes his coat with knit black pants, also enjoys his white hoodie, a t-shirt with a lavender stripe with a white vest all with comfortable black pants.

How much are they willing to spend on clothes?: Maybe a small splurge, but not too much.

What colors and patterns are prominent in their wardrobe? What colors and patterns do they wear the most often?: White and some stripes, often lavender or purple. Always wears black pants or shorts.

What kind of clothes do they like?: Casual clothes like t-shirts and pants, but doesn’t mind dressing more cool at times.

Do they wear makeup? What type do they wear?: He’s tried it before as a kid, but didn’t see the appeal to it. Hasn’t really touched it since.

Do they wear/do you associate them with clothes from a certain decade? If so, which?: He looks good with the cool leather jackets from the 80s

What font/fonts do you associate with them?: There was one I had for him but I forgot the name... looks a lot like how I picture his handwriting. Anything clear and kinda messy.

What colors do you associate with them?: White, purple, and yellow.

What natural elements (geographical features like mountains, animals, seasons, locations, plants, etc.) do you associate with them: Janus can be like the change of seasons, warm and sunny for awhile, but sometimes gets cool and distant. He can be like the weather, sunny one minute and rainy/stormy the next. Also, I often associate him with dogs; energetic and affectionate, but also gentle and calm.

[hyperbolicgrinch]

"If I Were..." tag

Tagged by @shajee1998 . Cheers! Thanks so much for the tag. 😁😁😁 Sorry this took me so damn long to get to. 😅

Right, I couldn't come up with anything much on my own so I asked my family to try instead. 😂

Here's what they said:

If I were a month: 

Dad: April or February

Twin brother: December

Older sister: February

Mum: August

If I were a day: 

Dad: Sunday

Twin: Monday

Sister: Monday- cause you just getting started but you dont want to???

Mum: Saturday/Wednesday

If I were a planet: 

Dad: Uranus (ha ha, dad, you're hilarious 😂) or Pluto

Twin: the sun or Venus

Sister: Saturn

Mum: Pluto cause you would want to be far as possible from other people

If I were a god or goddess: 

Dad: Aries?

Twin: Proythuse the one that gave fire to humans he's actually a Titan but no one will care

Sister: Janus, Roman God of Doorways

If I were a sea animal:

Dad: Platypus or octopus

Twin: Dolphin or horse or elephant

Sister: Sea otter- cause you only use the top bit. Or some sea bird cause you dont want anything to do with whats under you little birdy feet.

Mum: Sea horse

If I were a piece of furniture:

Dad: Rubbish bin (cause I'm trash?? 😂😂) or fridge (cause I'm cold inside?😂)

Twin: Table

Sister: Chair- people can take a load off on you??? Table was my second suggestion, put shit on you and leave it there 👌

Mum: Ha a poofter

If I were a gemstone: 

Dad: Sapphire

Brother: The blue one

Mum: Yellow Sapphire

If I were a flower: 

Dad: Rose (cause I'm full of thrones 😂) or a dandelion (because I'm a weed?😂😂😂)

Twin: A wild flower

Sister: Anemone / Gladiolus

Mum: The buttercup

If I were a weather: 

Dad: Hot and muggy

Twin: Sun shower

Sister: A sunny day- good for you but not always welcomed as it should be

Mum: Warm spring days.

If I were a color: 

Dad: Dark grey / light fluffy blue

Twin: Blue

Sister: Blue

Mum: Yellow

If I were an emotion: 

Dad: Anger

Twin: Justice

Sister: Indignation? On behalf of someone else

Mum: Empathy

If I were a fruit: 

Dad: Lemon or dragon fruit

Twin: Pineapple

Sister: Orange - useful fruit all round, just have to know how

If I were an element:

Dad: Silver / fire

Sister: Fire

Mum: You are iron so strong but make yourself into anything you need to be

If I were a place: 

Dad: Stuart highway / Aryes Rock / Litchfield National Park

Sister: 1st or last place (😂😂😂)

If I were a taste: 

Dad: Bitter (😂😂😂)

Sister: Banana smoothie

If I were a scent:

Dad: New car smell/ vanilla

If I were a body part:

Dad: Nose

Sister: Heart, cause you do the feeling the rest of us won't

If I were a pair of shoes: 

Dad: Riding boots

Sister: Classy well worn boots

Woot! 👍

Okay, tagging: @cass-act , @joestarry-eyed , @ginkoko , @carmine-brothers , @dnarielle , @tibuki , @necoconeko , @ttachibana , @killabin999 & @tapa-nyan .

[goddessgardener]

Towers of Flowers

“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” 

~George Moore

Europe has been experiencing the highest temperatures of recent years causing major forest fires, crop losses, beach restrictions, and deaths from the simmering heat. In all the times I had visited Ireland since my teen years, the sun never shone. Yet recently when I visited the Emerald Isle to attend a wedding, spend time with my first-grade teacher, and embark on an overdue road trip with my childhood Irish pen pal, a heat wave was in full swing with temperatures in the high 90’s. Dusk didn’t arrive until at least 11pm when both the moon and the sun shared the sky.

Although the countryside was dry and golden, almost resembling a California June landscape, Dublin was ablaze in flowers. Everywhere we walked towers of flowers adorned street corners, tubs hung from pubs overflowed with glorious blooms, while horns honked at me as I foolishly stepped into the street to photograph the beauty. Even the Guinness Storehouse boasted a soaring riser of cascading petunias in vibrant hues of red, pink, and fuchsia. On the Aran Island of Inismor, thatched cottages were enlivened with baskets of purple petunias, blue, lavender, and white lobelia, and geraniums. The Doolin pier boasted an old boat loaded with+ flowers in yellows, oranges, and reds, while streets in Galway were lined with roses, agapanthus, verbena, astilbe, ivy, and even more petunias. Besides the exquisite flowers everywhere, I was enthralled by the doors that led to houses for the fairies and leprechauns that adorned many of the landscapes. 

Whenever I travel, I gravitate to gardens. No matter where I am in our wondrous world, experiencing the spectacular floral creations of a nation is enchanting. Gardens relax, refresh, and energize me. I return to California excited to create something fresh and new.

For a friend who raises chickens, I designed a birthday arrangement that felt sunny and bright using firecracker plants, hollyhocks, roses, nasturtium, calendula, Italium berries, and sorrel stalks all gathered in a rooster teapot.

My Irish first-grade teacher always told me that she kept a leprechaun in her pocket. I was hoping to persuade her to let allow her little friend to emigrate to California with me, but I guess I’ll just have to make due with installing a fairy door on a tree and planting a few shamrocks. 

This August as you travel, make sure to visit a few gardens and spend time exploring the towers of flowers at your destination. You’ll find what you need.

Cynthia Brian’s Gardening Guide for August

BE ALERT for smoke and wildfires. Clear debris from around your house, cut dry grasses and limbs, and be sure to pack an emergency go bag.

DONATE to California Fire Relief Efforts through Operation Disaster Relief. More information at http://ow.ly/ks8A30lekGe

SPRAY roses for mildew and mites. Spray shaded crape myrtles for mildew and spray azaleas for thrip if necessary.  Ask for organic sprays at your favorite garden center or nursery. 

SCATTER Sluggo to kill snails and slugs.

JOIN A.S.I.D. (American Society of Interior Designers) and Janus et Cie for a Summer Garden Party in San Francisco in honor of my new book, Growing with the Goddess Gardener, where you’ll enjoy a flower arranging demonstration, elegant bites, cocktails, presentation and book signing. Info at https://www.cynthiabrian.com/gardening

SOAK outdoor containers at least once weekly by allowing the water to fill the pots until water begins to drain from the bottom.

PROVIDE plenty of fresh water daily to pets during these hot months and feed them juicy summer fruits to enjoy such as watermelon, cantaloupe, blueberries, and tomatoes.

PLAN for fall planting of water-thrifty plants including lavender, Plumbago, Black Eyed Susan, globe thistle, and honeysuckle vine. You’ll save on water bills for next year with these hardy perennials.

CREATE a beautiful arrangement straight from your summer garden with firecracker plants, hollyhocks, roses, nasturtium, calendula, and any grasses or reeds.

DESIGN a tower of flowers by using a pyramid stand and hanging baskets or pots from it filled with your preferred plants. Petunias, lobelias, pelargoniums, spider plants, and any draping plant will look terrific.

GROW a butterfly buffet by planting a mix of flowers that will provide food and habitat for caterpillars and butterflies through the fall. Keep your garden insecticide and pesticide free to attract other pollinators. Food species for caterpillars include oak, cherry, willow, dandelion, clover, and dill. For the butterfly, plant Echinacea, liatris, buddleia, agastache, and achillea. Milkweed will provide both larval nutrition and nectar for the adults. 

 PREPARE for fall by ordering spring blooming bulbs including allium, grape hyacinth, tulip, daffodil, hyacinth, and crocus.

GET a tetanus vaccine every ten years. Sometimes called lockjaw, tetanus is a serious disease caused by bacteria found in soil, manure, or dust. When humans get a cut or puncture, the bacteria may enter the body causing this serious infection.

CUT canes of blackberries back to the ground after harvesting.

MULCH when needed to maintain moisture and climate control.

PICK peaches, tomatoes, and zucchini as they ripen. Don’t let fruit or vegetables rot on the ground. 

TIE up vines that have become unruly or prune to the desired contour.

STAY cool by the pool and celebrate August under the stars on beautiful warm evenings. 

No matter where we travel, it’s always wonderful to come home. We love California living.

Happy Gardening. Happy Growing.

Read more: https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1212/Cynthia-Brians-Gardening-Guide-for-August-Towers-of-flowers.html

Cynthia Brian

Cynthia Brian, The Goddess Gardener, raised in the vineyards of Napa County, is a New York Times best-selling author, actor, radio personality, speaker, media and writing coach as well as the Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are1® 501 c3. 

Tune into Cynthia’s Radio show and order her books at www.StarStyleRadio.com.

Buy a copy of the new book, Growing with the Goddess Gardener, at www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store. 

Available for hire for projects and lectures.

Cynthia@GoddessGardener.com

www.GoddessGardener.com

[neville-long-bottom-blog1]

He took a deep breath as he entered the psychiatric wing of St. Mungo’s. It felt like ages since he’d been here, the soles of his trainers squeaking against the sterile tile floors and the scent of generic soap and antiseptic stinging at his nostrils. At the same time, it felt like he’d spent so much of his life here that he could walk these halls blindfolded and still end up sitting in front of his mother. Every visit, the Longbottoms recognized their son less and less, and it was even worse now that he’d taken to visiting on his own without his grandmother there to accompany him. Something about Augusta Longbottom seeing him cry had always been sort of a sticking point between the two of them—he could feel her disappointment hanging about the house for days after a visit, filling his lungs up until he almost choked on her disdain for him.

Part of him felt guilty for waiting so long after the battle to come here, but in his mind he argued that his parents seeing him bloodied and bruised would have upset them, regardless of whether they knew who he was or not. That was just who they were—kind, compassionate people who didn’t like to see others in pain. Now that the wounds had mostly healed and the bruises were just grey-yellow splotches beneath his skin, he’d decided that it was time to go and see them. Of course, it had taken a lot of courage and a lot of convincing to get himself to do this, but it was always that way. A balancing act, of sorts, between guilt and heartbreak, and the line was so fine that sometimes he couldn’t see it at all. This time, he promised himself, it would be worth the broken heart. He had to tell them about the battle, about the fact that Voldemort had been defeated once and for all, about how he himself had finally lived up to the legacy of the Longbottom name.

Neville knocked on the door, the words “Janus Thickey Ward” screaming out to him with their solid, bold, block lettering. They were the first words that he really remembered being able to actually read, and they stuck out so clearly in his mind. He ran his fingers over them as he waited for Madam Strout to open the door—over the years, she’d insisted that he call her Miriam, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Madam Pomfrey was the only other healer that he knew and he could only refer to her as ‘Madam’ and so he always called Miriam Madam Strout, too. Suddenly, the door swung open and there was her warm, sunny face, and Neville couldn’t help but smile. The woman was smart as a whip and she gave him a knowing look, eyeing the barely-healed wounds on his face and the dark circles under his eyes.

“How are they today?” he asked, desperate to change the subject, pink rising to his cheeks under her scrutiny—this woman had known him all his life and she worried about him, he knew. Still, he didn’t want to have to explain this to her. Neville was sure that she’d heard everything, sure that she’d read the Prophet (and maybe even the Quibbler, if his constant suggestions had begun to work).

Madam Strout raised her eyebrows but smiled all the same, thankfully not mentioning his face. There would probably be scars, he knew, and he hadn’t really gone to a proper healer for them. The healers were needed for so much more than his superficial wounds. There were people who were gravely injured, on the verge of death—how could he possibly take up time for himself just so he wouldn’t end up with scars? They all had scars, now, whether they were visible or not. It didn’t matter.

“They’re doing okay today,” she told him, patting him on the shoulder and guiding him inside, closing the door behind him. “Your mother has been in an exceptionally good mood since… well, you know. I don’t know how much she understands what happened, but somewhere, deep down… who knows? Your father is doing okay, although I don’t think he has much understanding of what’s happened at all. He has been sleeping better, though, so perhaps his mind is more at ease.” She spoke to him as they walked through the ward, and Neville peeked in on the other residents. Agnes was muttering to herself, Professor Lockhart was napping, and the bed where Broderick Bode had once resided was still empty. Frank and Alice Longbottom were at the very end of the ward, by the large windows, and Neville paused just before he got there.

Madam Strout patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. “They are always so happy to see you, Neville,” she assured him, and he nodded. He could do this.

Neville stepped past the curtains to see the same sight that he’d seen what felt like a million times before. Somehow, because he was so much different, he’d thought that maybe this would look different or feel different, too, but it didn’t. It was exactly the same as it had always been. Alice Longbottom was sitting in a chair by the window, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. Frank was in his bed, blanket covering his knees, a newspaper that he wasn’t reading in his hands. For a moment, Neville couldn’t breathe—this was too much like a portrait, a moment that he wanted to freeze in time forever, and maybe if he just stood still right here, he could do that.

Alice turned, then, to see her son standing there, and she smiled.

“Hello,” she said, her white hair shining in the sunlight. Neville’s throat was suddenly tight, but he managed a watery smile as he approached her, kissing the top of her head before he sat in the chair beside her.

“Hello, Mum,” he greeted, glad that he’d finally decided to come and visit. “It’s been a little while, I know. I’m sorry that I haven’t visited. There’s been a lot going on and I just couldn’t get here, but… I’m here now.”

Alice was still smiling, and he tried to ignore the vacant look in her eyes. Idly, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of chewing gum wrappers—had it been that long since he’d visited?—and held them out in her hand. Neville took them, running his fingers over them appreciatively.

“Thanks, Mum,” he said, tucking them in his pocket. When he got home, he’d put them in the box with the rest. Neville didn’t care that the only thing that his mother had ever given him was chewing gum wrappers—she was giving him something, and that meant that somewhere, somehow, she was thinking of him. “Have you been reading the newspapers? I know that you all get the Daily Prophet, here, but I’ve been making sure that you get the Quibbler, too. It’s a much better read.”

“Yes, Neville, thank you so much,” she would have said. “Your father and I have really appreciated reading it, and we’re so proud of you!”

Instead, the smile and the blank eyes continued. Neville reached out and took his mother’s hand, squeezing it appreciatively. “He-Who… I mean, Voldemort is gone for good this time,” he told her, studying her face carefully for some kind of reaction. Not even a flicker, not even one tiny iota of recognition or understanding. “Harry Potter—you remember the Potters, right, Mum? Harry defeated him once and for all. “I think that his parents would have been really proud of him. They were your friends, remember them? Lily and James?”

“Of course I remember Lily and James! Incredible people, they were—absolutely two of our best friends. They would be so proud of little Harry if they could see him now, just like your father and I are so, so proud of you, Neville. What an amazing man you’ve grown up to be,” she would have told him.

Instead, Alice turned to look out the window again, her expression unchanging.

“It was incredible, Mum—you should have been there. The Order of the Phoenix was there and all the Hogwarts students that were left all came together to fight the Death Eaters. It was like Dumbledore’s Army all over again, but it was the entire school.” Neville smiled hopefully at her.

“I wish I could have been there,” she’d have said wistfully, sighing. “Fighting with the Order again after all these years would have been incredible. Your father and I would have loved to be there, even if only to watch you, Neville.”

Neville leaned to the side, trying to catch his mother’s eye again. “Mum?” he asked, his voice smaller now, and she didn’t react. “…Alice?” That got her attention, but it made Neville’s stomach twist so uncomfortably that he vowed never to call her that again. She turned her head back toward her son and smiled again like he’d only just arrived.

“Hello,” she said, and his chest tightened perceptibly. He would not cry, not here in front of her. It wasn’t fair to her to upset her over something that she didn’t understand.

“Hi, Mum,” he said, greeting her again gently, blinking against the prickling behind his eyes.

Neville squeezed her hand comfortingly (although it wasn’t clear who he was comforting anymore) and continued to tell her about everything.

“I killed his snake myself,” he told her, desperate for praise that he knew wouldn’t come. “It was a Horcrux—it held part of his soul, and we had to kill it to kill Voldemort. I killed it. The Sword of Gryffindor came to me and… and I used it to cut the snake’s head off.” Neville’s eyebrows scrunched toward the middle of his forehead as his mother continued to smile at him.

“You did what? Neville, that’s incredible! See, your father and I always knew that you were a true Gryffindor, and that only proves it. You helped save the world, Neville, and your father and I could not be prouder of you,” she would have told him.

He squeezed her hand again, willing himself to keep smiling at her. “I stood up to him,” he said, his voice cracking just a little bit as his throat tightened. “We thought that Harry was dead, that Voldemort had killed him. We thought it was over and I still stood up to him.” It was something that Neville had ever imagined he’d be able to do, and he’d never felt more connected to his parents than he had in that moment. “I was going to keep fighting until there was nothing left, Mum. Harry wasn’t dead and we won, but even if he had died I would have kept fighting.”

“You were so brave, Neville,” she’d have said to him, hugging him close. “You were so incredibly brave and you’ve made your father and I so proud.”

Neville sank down out of the chair, wrenching his hand from his mothers and covering his face. “I would have kept fighting, Mum, and I wanted to make you and Dad proud,” he said, his voice wavering. He rested his forehead on his mother’s knee as he knelt before her on the floor and imagined what it would feel like for her to run her fingers through his hair. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and managed to look up at her.

Alice was looking out the window again, the same smile on her face and blank stare in her eyes.

Neville stood, brushing off his knees, and pressed a kiss to the top of his mother’s head. “Thanks, Mum,” he whispered, before turning to where his father lay.

He walked over and sat in the chair by his father’s bed. Frank was propped up by the hospital bed, his glasses on as he looked at the newspaper, his eyes never moving from the same spot on the page. It was the Daily Prophet, but the Quibbler was waiting on his bedside table. At least they were getting the subscription that he was paying for. Maybe Madam Strout was even perusing them, since his parents wouldn’t actually read them. Sometimes, he knew, she read the news out loud to them. Maybe she was reading the Quibbler to them, now.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, settling into the chair. Frank turned the page of the newspaper, but his eyes still didn’t move. Neville didn’t know if this was something that the healers on the ward had taught him or whether his father asked for the newspaper and just didn’t know he wasn’t reading it, but it always comforted Neville a little bit to see his father doing something that was even resembling normalcy. It made him feel like there was still a bit of his Dad left in there, somewhere.

“Did you read about the battle?” he asked, knowing full well that his father wouldn’t answer him. “It was in all the newspapers. I think the Quibbler did a better job of covering it, but I might be kind of biased because my friend Luna runs it with her dad. You remember me telling you about Luna, right, Dad?”

Frank would look up from the newspaper and look at his son over the tops of his glasses. “Oh, Luna, of course! Luna Lovegood. She sounds so lovely, Neville, you ought to bring her round to meet us. I know your mother would be so happy to meet some of your friends.”

Frank turned another page of the newspaper, instead.

“I was just telling Mum all about the battle and everything,” he said, his hands fidgeting. “It was amazing, Dad—I mean, it was horrible, but it was amazing. The Order was there and everything, and mostly the whole school came together to fight.” Neville smiled a little bit. “It made me glad that I joined Dumbledore’s Army, or else I never would have been able to do as much as I did. Plus, I got to use some of my plants to help. Herbology is still my best class. I really love it, Dad, and I’m really good with the plants. What was your best subject in school?”

“Your mother was better at Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures and things like that,” he might have said. “I was better at Transfiguration and I was okay at Charms, too. And Defense Against the Dark Arts. The real stuff, not whatever that loony over in bed three was teaching you lot. Still can’t believe Dumbledore hired that guy.”

Neville chuckled to himself. “Yeah, Dad, you’re right. That was an interesting year. We learned more from Harry than from most of our Defense teachers, honestly. I can even produce a patronus. I can’t do a corporeal one, yet, but I’m working on it. Harry taught us about Horcruxes, too, which is good because I destroyed one myself.” He looked up at his father. “I killed Voldemort’s snake with the Sword of Gryffindor, Dad.”

“The Sword presented itself to you?” he’d have asked his son, eyebrows raised. “That’s incredible, Neville! See? I always told you that you were a true Gryffindor, and that’s just even more proof. I’m so proud of you.”

Frank turned another page of his newspaper.

“Plus, I stood up to him in front of everyone,” he said, a flicker of hope in his voice that he wished wasn’t there. Neville knew very well that his parents didn’t know who he was, but it didn’t stop his heart from hoping that maybe one day they’d look at him and even just say his name. “We all thought Harry was dead and I just… I stood up and I told Voldemort that it didn’t’ matter, that we’d still be fighting. I wasn’t going to give up, Dad. I couldn’t. We’d come too far and fought too hard.” Neville’s hands were balled into fists, his nails digging into his palms just enough to sting. “Harry was alive, though, Dad, and he killed him. He really killed him this time. Voldemort’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

The silence of the ward was deafening compared to the raging inside Neville’s head, the desperation and the fear and the pride. The only sound that reached his ears was the sound of another page of the newspaper turning.

“I have to go now, Dad,” he said, his voice shaking again. “But I promise I’ll come back soon. It won’t be as long as last time—there was so much going on and I just couldn’t get here, but I’ll be back before school starts and then again at Christmas, okay?”

Neville stood and patted his father on the knee before turning and walking out of the ward, not bothering to look back at his mother or even say goodbye to Madam Strout. He couldn’t risk it, not with the hot tears that were already clouding his vision.

He apparated directly into his locked bedroom, not able to bear the thought of coming home to his grandmother. Neville couldn’t cry in front of her, and he couldn’t deal with her judgmental gaze right now. The tears were falling hot and fast, now, and he couldn’t wipe them away quick enough. Standing in front of his dresser, he looked at himself in the mirror. The scars on his face made him look less like his mother than ever, although as a child he’d resembled her greatly. It wasn’t fair—every piece of them that he had was slipping away little by little, and soon he’d have nothing left of them at all.

There was a little box sitting on top of his dresser and Neville opened it, pulling the chewing gum wrappers from his pocket and adding them to the collection before snapping the box shut again. He couldn’t bear to look at them or himself or anything anymore.

He walked backward from the mirror, turning to collapse on his bed just as his body began to shake with the suppressed sobs he’d been keeping in since he’d first seen the blank look in his mother’s eyes this morning. It wasn’t fair—sure, his parents weren’t dead, but they had no idea who he was and couldn’t even understand what he was saying to them. They’d once been two strong, incredible people, and they were reduced to basically nothing.

Neville cried himself to sleep and dreamed of his parents—the ones from his imagination, who knew who he was and who were proud of him. He liked to believe that maybe they were real, that somewhere deep inside the two shells of human beings who lived in the Janus Thickey Ward, there might still be an Alice and Frank Longbottom, and that they loved their son. Just maybe.

[lionhearted-neville-blog]

He took a deep breath as he entered the psychiatric wing of St. Mungo’s. It felt like ages since he’d been here, the soles of his trainers squeaking against the sterile tile floors and the scent of generic soap and antiseptic stinging at his nostrils. At the same time, it felt like he’d spent so much of his life here that he could walk these halls blindfolded and still end up sitting in front of his mother. Every visit, the Longbottoms recognized their son less and less, and it was even worse now that he’d taken to visiting on his own without his grandmother there to accompany him. Something about Augusta Longbottom seeing him cry had always been sort of a sticking point between the two of them—he could feel her disappointment hanging about the house for days after a visit, filling his lungs up until he almost choked on her disdain for him.

Part of him felt guilty for waiting so long after the battle to come here, but in his mind he argued that his parents seeing him bloodied and bruised would have upset them, regardless of whether they knew who he was or not. That was just who they were—kind, compassionate people who didn’t like to see others in pain. Now that the wounds had mostly healed and the bruises were just grey-yellow splotches beneath his skin, he’d decided that it was time to go and see them. Of course, it had taken a lot of courage and a lot of convincing to get himself to do this, but it was always that way. A balancing act, of sorts, between guilt and heartbreak, and the line was so fine that sometimes he couldn’t see it at all. This time, he promised himself, it would be worth the broken heart. He had to tell them about the battle, about the fact that Voldemort had been defeated once and for all, about how he himself had finally lived up to the legacy of the Longbottom name.

Neville knocked on the door, the words “Janus Thickey Ward” screaming out to him with their solid, bold, block lettering. They were the first words that he really remembered being able to actually read, and they stuck out so clearly in his mind. He ran his fingers over them as he waited for Madam Strout to open the door—over the years, she’d insisted that he call her Miriam, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Madam Pomfrey was the only other healer that he knew and he could only refer to her as ‘Madam’ and so he always called Miriam Madam Strout, too. Suddenly, the door swung open and there was her warm, sunny face, and Neville couldn’t help but smile. The woman was smart as a whip and she gave him a knowing look, eyeing the barely-healed wounds on his face and the dark circles under his eyes.

“How are they today?” he asked, desperate to change the subject, pink rising to his cheeks under her scrutiny—this woman had known him all his life and she worried about him, he knew. Still, he didn’t want to have to explain this to her. Neville was sure that she’d heard everything, sure that she’d read the Prophet (and maybe even the Quibbler, if his constant suggestions had begun to work).

Madam Strout raised her eyebrows but smiled all the same, thankfully not mentioning his face. There would probably be scars, he knew, and he hadn’t really gone to a proper healer for them. The healers were needed for so much more than his superficial wounds. There were people who were gravely injured, on the verge of death—how could he possibly take up time for himself just so he wouldn’t end up with scars? They all had scars, now, whether they were visible or not. It didn’t matter.

“They’re doing okay today,” she told him, patting him on the shoulder and guiding him inside, closing the door behind him. “Your mother has been in an exceptionally good mood since… well, you know. I don’t know how much she understands what happened, but somewhere, deep down… who knows? Your father is doing okay, although I don’t think he has much understanding of what’s happened at all. He has been sleeping better, though, so perhaps his mind is more at ease.” She spoke to him as they walked through the ward, and Neville peeked in on the other residents. Agnes was muttering to herself, Professor Lockhart was napping, and the bed where Broderick Bode had once resided was still empty. Frank and Alice Longbottom were at the very end of the ward, by the large windows, and Neville paused just before he got there.

Madam Strout patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. “They are always so happy to see you, Neville,” she assured him, and he nodded. He could do this.

Neville stepped past the curtains to see the same sight that he’d seen what felt like a million times before. Somehow, because he was so much different, he’d thought that maybe this would look different or feel different, too, but it didn’t. It was exactly the same as it had always been. Alice Longbottom was sitting in a chair by the window, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. Frank was in his bed, blanket covering his knees, a newspaper that he wasn’t reading in his hands. For a moment, Neville couldn’t breathe—this was too much like a portrait, a moment that he wanted to freeze in time forever, and maybe if he just stood still right here, he could do that.

Alice turned, then, to see her son standing there, and she smiled.

“Hello,” she said, her white hair shining in the sunlight. Neville’s throat was suddenly tight, but he managed a watery smile as he approached her, kissing the top of her head before he sat in the chair beside her.

“Hello, Mum,” he greeted, glad that he’d finally decided to come and visit. “It’s been a little while, I know. I’m sorry that I haven’t visited. There’s been a lot going on and I just couldn’t get here, but… I’m here now.”

Alice was still smiling, and he tried to ignore the vacant look in her eyes. Idly, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of chewing gum wrappers—had it been that long since he’d visited?—and held them out in her hand. Neville took them, running his fingers over them appreciatively.

“Thanks, Mum,” he said, tucking them in his pocket. When he got home, he’d put them in the box with the rest. Neville didn’t care that the only thing that his mother had ever given him was chewing gum wrappers—she was giving him something, and that meant that somewhere, somehow, she was thinking of him. “Have you been reading the newspapers? I know that you all get the Daily Prophet, here, but I’ve been making sure that you get the Quibbler, too. It’s a much better read.”

“Yes, Neville, thank you so much,” she would have said. “Your father and I have really appreciated reading it, and we’re so proud of you!”

Instead, the smile and the blank eyes continued. Neville reached out and took his mother’s hand, squeezing it appreciatively. “He-Who… I mean, Voldemort is gone for good this time,” he told her, studying her face carefully for some kind of reaction. Not even a flicker, not even one tiny iota of recognition or understanding. “Harry Potter—you remember the Potters, right, Mum? Harry defeated him once and for all. “I think that his parents would have been really proud of him. They were your friends, remember them? Lily and James?”

“Of course I remember Lily and James! Incredible people, they were—absolutely two of our best friends. They would be so proud of little Harry if they could see him now, just like your father and I are so, so proud of you, Neville. What an amazing man you’ve grown up to be,” she would have told him.

Instead, Alice turned to look out the window again, her expression unchanging.

“It was incredible, Mum—you should have been there. The Order of the Phoenix was there and all the Hogwarts students that were left all came together to fight the Death Eaters. It was like Dumbledore’s Army all over again, but it was the entire school.” Neville smiled hopefully at her.

“I wish I could have been there,” she’d have said wistfully, sighing. “Fighting with the Order again after all these years would have been incredible. Your father and I would have loved to be there, even if only to watch you, Neville.”

Neville leaned to the side, trying to catch his mother’s eye again. “Mum?” he asked, his voice smaller now, and she didn’t react. “…Alice?” That got her attention, but it made Neville’s stomach twist so uncomfortably that he vowed never to call her that again. She turned her head back toward her son and smiled again like he’d only just arrived.

“Hello,” she said, and his chest tightened perceptibly. He would not cry, not here in front of her. It wasn’t fair to her to upset her over something that she didn’t understand.

“Hi, Mum,” he said, greeting her again gently, blinking against the prickling behind his eyes.

Neville squeezed her hand comfortingly (although it wasn’t clear who he was comforting anymore) and continued to tell her about everything.

“I killed his snake myself,” he told her, desperate for praise that he knew wouldn’t come. “It was a Horcrux—it held part of his soul, and we had to kill it to kill Voldemort. I killed it. The Sword of Gryffindor came to me and… and I used it to cut the snake’s head off.” Neville’s eyebrows scrunched toward the middle of his forehead as his mother continued to smile at him.

“You did what? Neville, that’s incredible! See, your father and I always knew that you were a true Gryffindor, and that only proves it. You helped save the world, Neville, and your father and I could not be prouder of you,” she would have told him.

He squeezed her hand again, willing himself to keep smiling at her. “I stood up to him,” he said, his voice cracking just a little bit as his throat tightened. “We thought that Harry was dead, that Voldemort had killed him. We thought it was over and I still stood up to him.” It was something that Neville had ever imagined he’d be able to do, and he’d never felt more connected to his parents than he had in that moment. “I was going to keep fighting until there was nothing left, Mum. Harry wasn’t dead and we won, but even if he had died I would have kept fighting.”

“You were so brave, Neville,” she’d have said to him, hugging him close. “You were so incredibly brave and you’ve made your father and I so proud.”

Neville sank down out of the chair, wrenching his hand from his mothers and covering his face. “I would have kept fighting, Mum, and I wanted to make you and Dad proud,” he said, his voice wavering. He rested his forehead on his mother’s knee as he knelt before her on the floor and imagined what it would feel like for her to run her fingers through his hair. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and managed to look up at her.

Alice was looking out the window again, the same smile on her face and blank stare in her eyes.

Neville stood, brushing off his knees, and pressed a kiss to the top of his mother’s head. “Thanks, Mum,” he whispered, before turning to where his father lay.

He walked over and sat in the chair by his father’s bed. Frank was propped up by the hospital bed, his glasses on as he looked at the newspaper, his eyes never moving from the same spot on the page. It was the Daily Prophet, but the Quibbler was waiting on his bedside table. At least they were getting the subscription that he was paying for. Maybe Madam Strout was even perusing them, since his parents wouldn’t actually read them. Sometimes, he knew, she read the news out loud to them. Maybe she was reading the Quibbler to them, now.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, settling into the chair. Frank turned the page of the newspaper, but his eyes still didn’t move. Neville didn’t know if this was something that the healers on the ward had taught him or whether his father asked for the newspaper and just didn’t know he wasn’t reading it, but it always comforted Neville a little bit to see his father doing something that was even resembling normalcy. It made him feel like there was still a bit of his Dad left in there, somewhere.

“Did you read about the battle?” he asked, knowing full well that his father wouldn’t answer him. “It was in all the newspapers. I think the Quibbler did a better job of covering it, but I might be kind of biased because my friend Luna runs it with her dad. You remember me telling you about Luna, right, Dad?”

Frank would look up from the newspaper and look at his son over the tops of his glasses. “Oh, Luna, of course! Luna Lovegood. She sounds so lovely, Neville, you ought to bring her round to meet us. I know your mother would be so happy to meet some of your friends.”

Frank turned another page of the newspaper, instead.

“I was just telling Mum all about the battle and everything,” he said, his hands fidgeting. “It was amazing, Dad—I mean, it was horrible, but it was amazing. The Order was there and everything, and mostly the whole school came together to fight.” Neville smiled a little bit. “It made me glad that I joined Dumbledore’s Army, or else I never would have been able to do as much as I did. Plus, I got to use some of my plants to help. Herbology is still my best class. I really love it, Dad, and I’m really good with the plants. What was your best subject in school?”

“Your mother was better at Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures and things like that,” he might have said. “I was better at Transfiguration and I was okay at Charms, too. And Defense Against the Dark Arts. The real stuff, not whatever that loony over in bed three was teaching you lot. Still can’t believe Dumbledore hired that guy.”

Neville chuckled to himself. “Yeah, Dad, you’re right. That was an interesting year. We learned more from Harry than from most of our Defense teachers, honestly. I can even produce a patronus. I can’t do a corporeal one, yet, but I’m working on it. Harry taught us about Horcruxes, too, which is good because I destroyed one myself.” He looked up at his father. “I killed Voldemort’s snake with the Sword of Gryffindor, Dad.”

“The Sword presented itself to you?” he’d have asked his son, eyebrows raised. “That’s incredible, Neville! See? I always told you that you were a true Gryffindor, and that’s just even more proof. I’m so proud of you.”

Frank turned another page of his newspaper.

“Plus, I stood up to him in front of everyone,” he said, a flicker of hope in his voice that he wished wasn’t there. Neville knew very well that his parents didn’t know who he was, but it didn’t stop his heart from hoping that maybe one day they’d look at him and even just say his name. “We all thought Harry was dead and I just… I stood up and I told Voldemort that it didn’t’ matter, that we’d still be fighting. I wasn’t going to give up, Dad. I couldn’t. We’d come too far and fought too hard.” Neville’s hands were balled into fists, his nails digging into his palms just enough to sting. “Harry was alive, though, Dad, and he killed him. He really killed him this time. Voldemort’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

The silence of the ward was deafening compared to the raging inside Neville’s head, the desperation and the fear and the pride. The only sound that reached his ears was the sound of another page of the newspaper turning.

“I have to go now, Dad,” he said, his voice shaking again. “But I promise I’ll come back soon. It won’t be as long as last time—there was so much going on and I just couldn’t get here, but I’ll be back before school starts and then again at Christmas, okay?”

Neville stood and patted his father on the knee before turning and walking out of the ward, not bothering to look back at his mother or even say goodbye to Madam Strout. He couldn’t risk it, not with the hot tears that were already clouding his vision.

He apparated directly into his locked bedroom, not able to bear the thought of coming home to his grandmother. Neville couldn’t cry in front of her, and he couldn’t deal with her judgmental gaze right now. The tears were falling hot and fast, now, and he couldn’t wipe them away quick enough. Standing in front of his dresser, he looked at himself in the mirror. The scars on his face made him look less like his mother than ever, although as a child he’d resembled her greatly. It wasn’t fair—every piece of them that he had was slipping away little by little, and soon he’d have nothing left of them at all.

There was a little box sitting on top of his dresser and Neville opened it, pulling the chewing gum wrappers from his pocket and adding them to the collection before snapping the box shut again. He couldn’t bear to look at them or himself or anything anymore.

He walked backward from the mirror, turning to collapse on his bed just as his body began to shake with the suppressed sobs he’d been keeping in since he’d first seen the blank look in his mother’s eyes this morning. It wasn’t fair—sure, his parents weren’t dead, but they had no idea who he was and couldn’t even understand what he was saying to them. They’d once been two strong, incredible people, and they were reduced to basically nothing.

Neville cried himself to sleep and dreamed of his parents—the ones from his imagination, who knew who he was and who were proud of him. He liked to believe that maybe they were real, that somewhere deep inside the two shells of human beings who lived in the Janus Thickey Ward, there might still be an Alice and Frank Longbottom, and that they loved their son. Just maybe.