#Su Honkai | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ruubyys1 · 13 hours ago

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synposis: you have wanting to tell him your secret for a long time, but still deciding to do it or not—

su x gn!reader . wc: 1.9k words

.☆ content warnings/notes: herrscher!reader, slight angst?? (if u squint), basically mentions of ppl making rumors about you, mizu5 and ena2 inspired fic (from prsk), expect some grammar mistakes here. —first part focuses on reader mostly while second part focuses on both reader and su.

.☆ a/n’s: Hello!! This is my first time publishing a full fanfiction. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, expect this fic to have some mistakes and a little confusing so please bear w/ me and understand. 🙏🏼

taglists: @rukianaa

You kept running.

Running, running, running away—

From among those few who already knew about your 'secret'. The secret about you being a herrscher to everyone.

You would never want to spill it, would you? Herrschers are evil, dangerous, killing machines that are destined to destroy humanity. Yet, what about your destiny? What kind of path will you take?

…Yet however, there is someone you think would accept you just as you are. Your relationship with him may not remain the same even if you try.

He was your light during the darkness, your savior,

—and especially, your most dearest.

Su.

But, will he actually love you?

…

Sitting on the bed with your legs crossed, you sigh softly in your room while gazing at the chilly ceiling and chatting to yourself. You thought of your "secret" while tapping your fingers softly on the mattress.

“I want to move on forward…” Those thoughts whisper down to your body with a sharp sense, biting you off with the feeling of wanting to tell others you are hiding. However, you decide to keep it a secret for the remaining years that you serve as a MOTH soldier.

"…I got to this point because I've been running the entire time and running like that…." It is true that you have continued to flee with the secret far away, from one place to another, long enough to avoid what is coming. Being a MOTH soldier and Herrscher at this point is hard for you due to how you were born.

—Nevertheless, he is there. Your dear friend Su, who would you always entrust with your feelings and everything no matter what.

“I will keep waiting for you if thats what you want.”

You just had that flashback in your head, remembering how Su once told you he'd wait until you were able to fully express yourself.

“Even if I rely on Su’s words a long time ago…”

“Yet…”

In your quiet room, you held your breath and then courageously released it.

“I want to talk about it.”

You placed your hands on your chest, holding to yourself tightly as if you never wanted to let go of anyone’s kind heart.

“If I’m going to talk about it… I have to tell Su first. Since he has been waiting for me this whole time…”

Starting now, you decided to plan whether to meet Su somewhere in a place you have both been before, even though you are still unsure whether to do it or not. Now, those sharp feelings returned to you, but this time, it seemed as though everything between you and Su will soon be surrounded by emptiness and darkness.

Like a faint ominous bell ringing in anticipation of the end of the world, it pierces your eyes as you come to a realization.

—Shoot.. You shouldn't think of that. Everything will go smoothly, right?

“A herrscher? Are you kidding me?”

A voice in the crowd, perhaps spreading rumors about you, and one of them being true, gave you a flashback that made your chest ache. You bit your lip, slightly clenching your fists, and attempted to calm down slowly, but the coldness in the room prevented it, leaving you struggling.

“…..I don't want to run away..” This time, your voice sounded shaky, like shattered glass that will never be able to be put back together. Then, you bravely grab your phone on the other side as the screen brightens up in your presence. Slowly, you typed out a message to Su in his contact. However— your fingers are also trembling from finding proper words, stumbling deeper and deeper to try to talk with him about your secret.

"My hands are shaking… I can't type well…" As you approach the end of composing your message, your fingers still tremble. While trying to find a way to calm down, the option you could take is to think about Su, your dearest friend, and how he once vowed to always be there whenever you have troubles ahead.

“…Calm down. Because if I take it slow, it will be okay—”

You finally completed the words that you typed on that screen.

“…Alright. All that is left… is to simply send it… Then maybe—”

“Eh…? Ah, that’s true. They may be a Herrscher.”

You are struck by another flashback, this time with a voice from an old acquaintance. Were they talking badly about you or only making up rumors?

“They are hard to deal with.”

“That’s how an ordinary herrscher talks, right?”

Again,

“Don’t they just want to stand out with humanity?”

And again.

Your mind is filled with increasingly familiar voices, as though they are repeating the same things over and over again. Were you genuinely human, or were you a herrscher set on destroying humanity?

The more you remember, the more it starts to hurt your head.

“It might be a misunderstanding, right?”

"Well, that sounds awful, doesn't it?"

“They’ll eventually betray our backs one day! Do you not ever even notice?!”

You tremble uneasily once again as more voices start to observe you from a distance.

"Everyone won't do something like reject me, will they? Su can easily ease someone's suffering if I believe…“

You clenched your left arm, suppressing the agony that has plagued you for years. Su is probably the last thing on your mind.

“I’ll keep waiting forever.” He spoke those words, which were as warm, consoling, and reassuring as a ray of sunshine. You came from the dark, and he was your light. Will he accept you for who you are, even though you intended to give him a sincere thank you?

He is kind, and so are the others. His warm smile fleeting in the bright sky onto yours, illuminating the shadows that kept you between.

How lovely Su was.

You have been close friends with Su as long as you can remember. In high school, he bumped into you and the two of you ended up exchanging texts.

His friendship would remain the same to you even after the incident— where he was trying to find you from the rubble and dirt that built up from destruction. Su would successfully find you when time passed, and he promised to protect you as always.

Su was calm and polite to you, and he was willing to understand your feelings, troubles, and secrets. He accepts and supports you in what you want to do and what you want to be.

He is kind, right? Will he be willing to accept your secret about you being a Herrscher?

For now, you'd like to think about that, but you're unsure because you are the honkai - and Su is a fighter. If you betray him now, would he hate you for what have you done? No. He won’t, right?

…

You spaced out on your work just as you were about to submit a file on Su’s documents. In that sight, you were only thinking about him, his lovely smile, and everything else about Su until it shifted towards your secret. Your eyes looked like they were about to empty and lose their shine too, as you only stared into the blinding light illuminated by the lamp.

“Su…”

“Yes, [Name]?”

You shifted back quickly to reality when Su called you behind, placing his warm hand on your shoulder.

“Are you alright? You seem to be spacing out for a long time.” His face was a touch of concern even from the doctor himself. You try to find the words in your mind— until you decide to tell him that you are doing “alright”.

“Ah— I am okay, Su. I was thinking of something..”

That was a lie, and he believed it easily.

“I see… If you need help with any of your feelings— you can ask me.” Su smiled gently at you as if he drowned fully in your lies and mask. You smiled at him back too, however guilty also for the words you have said. You want to tell him more of your feelings, especially the deep ones, nevertheless, you do not want to pressure yourself fully.

“And about the file on the cure—”

“I’ll submit it tomorrow early morning. That’s all.”

You quickly assured him with almost raising your tone, which almost startled Su in his mind.

Shit.

“…Ah, alright then [Name]. See you tomorrow then, and goodnight to you.” His calm demeanor returned as his gaze softened to you, as if he was falling for your lies.

He waved his hand and left your office in the sound of the night.

You lied and lied again.

“…Hah. How can he easily follow with my words?” Your tone went blunt and straightforward. You cannot believe how pathetic he is to listen to you, always lending out a hand, and eventually comforting you. He was a warm heart indeed, like a bathing sunshine flowing in the wind, that is what you see in him.

He was your friend and always been.

Will you eventually deceive him with your secret one day?

…

Su sighed in his place, continuing the write one of his documents about researching a cure for the honkai— and for his patients as well.

In reality, he was thinking of you, especially on your tone since earlier.

“[Name]… Are they alright?” He spoke in the silence of his own office, slightly fidgeting the pen and staring at the paper. Sighing, he rested his hand on his cheek.

“I’m hoping that they feel well at least, I don't want to pressure them further…” Su’s voice full of concern wanted to think about you more; those positive moments that contained your genuine smile and unique personality. He loved you no matter what type of person you were, and would always continue to do those.

Even in the current time when honkai is invading, he promised to always be there for you as always.

…

You lie softly down in bed getting ready to sleep despite the time being 1:00 AM. —All of that hard work has been paid off, right?

You sighed staring at the empty-looking ceiling leaving your eyes to wander where you are and what you are doing.

“…Ah, alright then [Name]. See you tomorrow then,”

That flashback replayed in your head just now, almost letting out a gasp. You acknowledge that you did lie to him and he seems to simply accept it. Even if you are a dear friend of Su, you should not make a lie to him as he sometimes can perceive it in a way.

From your perspective, it seems you've been wanting to tell Su about your secret for as long as you can remember. For everyone, you also wished to reveal it too.

Unfortunately, if people found out, they would hate you and throw you out to death instead, especially in an organization called MOTH. Back then, you covered your identity as a herrscher and joined to find a purpose in your life.

—In that life, you were only a little person who yearned to find more of yourself, only to realize that you shouldn't belong here in this world.

Yet, one of your loved ones loved and accepted you for what you are. You were harmless, kind— and happy.

However, where did all of the happiness go?

You sighed once again, pulling the soft blankets in your bed and covering up the coldness. You clicked off the switch on the lamp shifting to complete darkness. To get rid of the negative thoughts in your head, you slowly close your eyes.

You thought about Su instead, his lovely smile.

Your lovely friend, and your savior.

—And eventually, you’ll go lower with him to discover your secret soon. Maybe in your imagination, he could accept you and keep it a secret ‘no one knows.’

thanks for reading! there will be a part 2 of this

#.☆ writings #su x reader #su honkai x reader #su honkai #su hi3 #honkai impact 3rd x reader #hi3 x reader #hi3rd x reader #Honkai impact x reader #x reader #hsr x reader #Honkai star rail x reader #<— (i want to jumpscare random ppl who do not know about su/honkai men by adding this🙏🏼🙏🏼#:3

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